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sunflovverharry · 4 years ago

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Nightcap - Harry Styles one shot

a/n: hello again I'm back with another one shot and this time it's bouncer!h which I'm so excited for!! I wasn't going to post this yet, but seeing as I won't get the next chapter of my fwb series out tomorrow I thought I'd give you this :)) If you like it, please like and reblog and also message me if you want to talk about bouncer!h or any of my other fics, enjoy xx (also I had no idea what to call this fic so ended up with nightcap but i don’t think i like it)

Pairing: Bouncer!h + y/n

Warnings: Language, alcohol, smut, mutual pining

Word count: 6k

Summer was over and junior year was right around the corner. Starting it off with a bang, y/n and her friends decided to go to Mike’s after pre-gaming, ending up pretty tipsy before heading out. The line wasn’t too bad, but it was clear a lot of college kids coming back this weekend had the same idea as you had. It was still warm outside and y/n had her favorite leather skirt on (knowing she’d regret the decision when she’s sweating on the dancefloor) and an off the shoulder ruffled white top. Thankfully she went with a pair of comfortable but trendy sneakers knowing she would most likely end up walking home after dancing the night away.

The group found themselves at the front of the line after only five minutes and y/n flicked through her little purse hanging off her shoulder to find her ID. When she found it her eyes went straight to the bouncer standing in a pair of tight black jeans and a t-shirt with the bar’s logo to the right along with a flashlight in his hand so he would be able to see the ID’s easier. His face wasn’t clear to see from the way he was looking down at someone else’s ID, but she could tell his face was clean from any stubble. She didn’t know how old - or young - he was, but nevertheless she was attracted to him.

When the person in front of her got checked y/n was already raising her hand to hand him her ID. It didn’t seem as if he’d noticed her in the line as his brows raised slightly before he caught himself and showed her a tight-lipped smile. He quickly took a look at the ID in hand before handing it back and letting her pass him with another small smile. No words exchanged between the two except the handful of shy, awkward smiles. Y/n had heard him say ‘thank you’ or ‘next’ so she took it that he was a bit too shy to get words out in case he’d fuck up before he could actually do something - just like her.

Y/n hadn’t managed to get him off her mind for the remainder of the night, continuously sneaking looks behind her to see if he was walking past or standing in the doorway. More often than not she couldn’t get a glance of him before he walked outside again to handle the line of people wanting to get inside before they close just to grab a beer or a couple shots before going home to someone for an afterparty.

Harry had himself been darting his eyes to where she had been sitting most of the night whenever he went to the toilet or changed assignments with other bouncers to check on how it’s going inside. Before she could catch him in his staring - caring more about making sure her silhouette will stick to his mind than kicking out the overly drunk people - he turned around to hide behind a wall or go outside again. He didn’t have the confidence to know she was looking back or to do anything about it if she caught him, instead wanting to hide from it - her.

The night was over for y/n around two in the morning, wanting nothing more than to go home and heat up the leftover pizza from her dinner and jump in the shower to wash off the sweat she’d worked up to while dancing. What happened wasn’t much different from her wishes, except for what happened in the shower. She was unable to get the bouncer off her mind, replaying her thoughts of how good he looked when she first saw him at the front of the line along with the smile he gave her. It led to her bringing her favorite dildo with a suction cup in the shower, attaching it to the wall so she could pretend she was getting pounded from the back - by the bouncer.

A month later Mike’s was the regular spot for y/n and her friends on every Tuesday - since there were no classes on Wednesdays - and Saturday - the usual party night. Harry worked almost every time they were there and after the third time of checking y/n’s ID he now let her walk straight inside the bar - her friends still had to show their ID though. He always gave her a smile while showing her she could go inside by moving his arm towards the door - y/n always saying a small ‘thank you’ with her smile getting bigger for every time he led her inside.

She badly wanted to catch his attention and get a conversation started, though not having a clue what to even say, ‘Hi, would you wanna go home with me?’. It would not only be embarrassing for her if she got turned down, but she also wouldn’t be able to show her face at Mike’s again. Maybe it’s a good thing she hasn’t made contact, not knowing how he is. Yes, she’d love a fuck, but not from a fuckboy who gets around with a different girl every weekend.

Weeks later October was in full swing and y/n was getting frustrated with how she and the bouncer - who she now knows as Harry after finally getting the courage to ask him what his name was just last week after downing a good couple vodka redbulls - still hadn’t gotten anywhere. Not that she knows he wants the same as her at all, but with how they act towards each other - smiles that have escalated to smirks and grins over time, small hi’s and how are you’s when they walk past each other during the night.

The third Tuesday of the month y/n was at the bar like usual with her friends. She had gone to the bar to order another beer and Harry slowly walked over when he saw her standing alone, wanting to spike a conversation though unsure of what he’d actually say. In his mind she was out of his league - a gorgeous figure with hips even he was jealous of, a university student (he’d figured out when she accidentally showed him her uni ID instead of her license the second time she went there), a tight knit group of friends she seemed close with and the most alluring and seductive shiny blue eyes he’s ever seen.

She didn’t seem like the type to be interested in a twenty-five year old bouncer who still doesn’t quite know what to actually do with his degree and lives in his parents basement. It’s not like he’s never moved out, but after a year out of uni and still not happy with his choice in career, he decided it was best to move back home and get a job there while figuring his life out. After three years he still isn’t sure where his life is taking him, but he’s sure it could be a lot worse.

Y/n noticed him creeping up beside her in the corner of her eye and thought this might be the one chance she had to get to know him and had to let go of her own insecurities about him not actually being interested. He’s been avoiding her it seems like for the past two months, only opening up the tiniest bit since the first small smile she got that august night so she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to get to know her, or fuck - which to be honest was most of what she was interested in.

“Hi stranger.” She was hoping for a smile back at least - maybe more if he felt courageous - but something in her told her she’d get more. Only a second later she got her answer.

“I guess we are strangers, with the exception that I know your birthday.” He saw the clear surprise on her face; was it from him replying in a full sentence or him remembering her birthday after only looking at her ID not even a handful of times? He wasn’t sure. Letting out a silent laugh before letting go of the shock of his sort of joke she took a sip of her beer as she pondered how she could respond with the hint that she wanted to get to know him a little bit at least.

“You want to grab a beer with me when your shift is over? We can play truth or truth.” She didn’t know how he’d react to her wanting to talk to him on what might seem a personal level. Hopefully he’d accept the offer and tell her he’d be back soon.

“Sure. If you want to meet here again in twenty I should be off the clock.” His smile was encouraging and it excited you that the first step was taken. If he only wanted their maybe coming relationship to be friendly then she’d deal, but there is no way she would be the one to turn him down.

Y/n nodded. They stared at each other intensely for a long time, their eyes locking and smiles couldn’t be fought off their faces as he started walking backwards until he finally broke contact and turned around going back to work. She was thrilled to have finally made contact, unsure of who to say took the first step really and eager to see him in a casual way when he’s not working, though they’re still at the place he works. Surely everyone knows him here and that made her sort of intimidated. They couldn’t run off or be completely alone because there would always be someone keeping their eye on him - other bouncers or bartenders.

Her friends had decided to call it a night only a couple minutes before she were to meet Harry again, so she found a stool at the bar and ordered two beers for them to indulge when he got back. The beers were sat in front of her only seconds before Harry made himself known with a soft hand to her shoulder. Turning around to get a look at who touched her, she was pleasantly surprised - Harry stood in his work clothes still and she didn’t quite know if she liked it or if she had hoped he’d wear something else. She was glad his arms were showing still, the tattoos a major part of what had her attracted to him in the first place.

From the moment Harry got a beer in him he seemed more relaxed and she even managed to get a boisterous laughter out of him once when she told him about a childhood story. Y/n found that his personality made her more attracted and interested in who this man was, hoping for a ‘yes’ when she asked if he’d like to come home with her.

She hadn’t had sex in a long time, knowing it would be useless when she wasn’t attracted to anyone. They wouldn’t make her cum and she would end up having to fake it. After a couple of times it got old and she figured making herself cum was fine until she found someone she liked. Harry was much like y/n in that aspect, though his last time wasn’t as long ago - more like a month compared to y/n’s eight. Neither spoke about it on the short walk home, their fingers connected as if they were a couple who had been on a date that went a little too far into the night. She told him her apartment might be a little messy as she hadn’t found a good outfit right away - to which Harry retaliates with a ‘you’ve looked amazing every time I’ve seen you at the bar’.

They hadn’t actually spent more than five minutes at the bar - enough to finish their beers - before heading out. It was clear they had the same intentions from when he said yes to coming home with her at three in the morning to when he connected their lips right as he heard the front door shut. Y/n couldn’t help but moan at the impact of her back hitting the door and his lips working hers with a fervor she’d never experienced before.

If the way his lips worked and his hands groped just the right places had anything to say for how he’d work in the bed, she wouldn’t have any complaints. Heavy breathing and moans from the both of them were loud before they got to her bed, laying her down beneath him and pulling her jeans down her legs while she pulled his shirt off him. They didn’t spend much time getting to know each other's bodies, but enough to figure out what the other liked and disliked. Harry found the spot between her neck and ear she mewled from when he kissed and y/n; the spot right beneath the laurels tattooed on his skin he shuddered from when she lightly grazed before reaching further down.

When he finally slid into her she arched her back and he closed his eyes trying to keep from busting already. It was quick and hasty and intense but they silently agreed that it was incredible and when they both came and it was over round two and three weren’t far between. There was no question of staying the night, y/n only lifting the sheets up and dragging him with her.

Y/n woke up to an empty bed - there was no Harry beside her or holding her like he had been when they fell asleep early in the morning. If this was a romance novel there might’ve been a note saying sorry for leaving her on ther fridge or something along those lines, but there was nothing. Almost like he wanted to forget it happened, but she couldn’t know what went through his mind at the time. It wasn’t like she could be angry or upset by him leaving without word either, not knowing him too well or having any relation to him except knowing him as a bouncer at her favorite bar.

Though what Harry did was a dick move, she didn’t want to tell anyone about their night (or morning), it was her memory to have alone. Part of it was because she knew they’d all see him again and there was no reason for her friends - or her - to be malicious towards him. From the small conversations she’s had with him and how shy he originally was, there is no way he had intentions to make her feel small. Or he put on a front for her to make her think he’s a good guy.

Y/n soon finds out there’s no reason to dwell on the subject, instead putting her head in a book to give herself away to a fantasy world where everything seems to be a little too perfect for her liking. Sure, she enjoys reading about a perfect world, but in the end she could never imagine it being her life. With her over-the-top parents and siblings that she barely speaks to; she’s glad she’s made it to university where she can care for herself only (and her friends, but mainly herself).

****

After two weeks away from Mike’s, y/n is back with her friends, ready to get so far gone she won’t remember how she got home. Yes, it’s been one of those weeks for her - absolutely awful with a breakdown over midterms at least once every day. Already having had a few beers at home, she was starting to feel it when they got to the line. She wasn’t trying to look for if Harry was standing at the front checking ID’s like she normally would do. Tonight was about letting loose and having fun with her friends - if Harry wanted to talk he could initiate it.

Harry wasn’t at the front of the line ready to let her through without seeing her ID, just like every other time, this time it was someone new who looked at every single ID for a little longer than necessary y/n thought. Finally getting inside the bar, they grabbed the closest table to the bar that wasn’t already occupied.

Our first round of drinks that consisted of cocktails, beers and shots for everyone was quickly over. Most of them downed the shot before our drink of choice wanting to get smashed as quickly as possible making the night end rather quickly (with some of the group getting kicked out most likely). The group weren’t known to get kicked out, but when they had the mindset of getting absolutely plastered it was definitely happening. Y/n hoped Harry wouldn’t see it if it ended up being her getting told to leave - if he was there that is.

Hours later the clock had barely hit midnight and y/n had taken one shot too much for her to be sane any longer. Her thoughts of leaving Harry alone and making him be the one to contact her if he wanted went out the window and she was on a mission to get him alone - mostly to ask if he’d wanna come home with her again because she was horny. In times where she was this horny there was no way she wouldn’t do anything about it, either finding a man to satisfy her (which seldom happened) or getting her toys out to make her come (which always worked).

She had seen Harry doing his round to check if anyone needed a talking to or get kicked out not too long ago and she hoped he was still walking the floor as it’s much harder to get him to herself if he’s checking ID’s. She pretended to walk towards the toilets but her eyes didn’t stop flickering about to see if Harry was in sight hoping to catch his curls above everyone dancing.

If she’s being honest, it wasn’t hard noticing him - hands in his pockets and brows furrowed in concentration to see if everyone is still doing alright - standing by the lower left corner, only a few meters from the toilets. She walked toward him with determination and it was easy doing so because he hadn’t noticed her yet and it was clear her liquid courage was helping some.

“So.. were you going to talk to me?” Harry only noticed her when she started talking, way too distracted by looking at the people on the dancefloor. It didn’t necessarily surprise him that she took initiative to talk to him and to be quite frank, he wasn’t sure he had the nerve to start up a conversation with her. Of course, he wanted to talk to her to explain why he left her the morning after they had sex, but after she didn’t show up at the club for two weeks he thought she was angry with him. Maybe she still is and he is not one for confrontation.

“I was going to, but then you didn’t show up here for a while so I thought you didn’t want to talk.” He forced his eyes to stay on hers while waiting for her to say something. It was nerve wracking, but if they were to continue bumping into each other at the club he didn’t want there to be any conflict between them - no matter how big or small it is.

“I’m not mad, just wanted to get everything out in the open I guess. I mean, I get that we were just hooking up, trust me I’m not looking to date you, but it’d be nice to have some mutual agreement even if it was a one time thing or if it happens again - which I won’t be opposed to if I’m honest.” The wicked smile on her lips told him she was thinking back to that night just over two weeks ago where their bodies touched and longed for the others. It was a good fuck, he admits as he, too, thought back to their night spent together in her bed.

“Okay. If you want to wait until I’m done at around two we can do a repeat of it?” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, eyes widening at the forwardness he usually doesn’t have (especially not with pretty girls). Y/n only nods his way before leaving him alone to grab another drink with her friends. He had a hope that she wouldn’t drink too much so she would still be able to go through with their unspoken plans for the night.

Harry was holding y/n up by her thighs, fucking into her against the wall in her living room. She wasn’t holding back letting him know how much she liked what he was doing and it wouldn’t surprise her if the moans and high pitched sounds she was making could be heard outside her apartment. In the moment she didn’t exactly care about letting people know she was having the time of her life; getting fucked by someone she was attracted to and who was - in some insane way - better than her dildo. That much was clear after the first night they shared together and she could only hope he had the same thoughts about her.

They had left the bar hours ago heading straight to her apartment. Clothes were tugged off and strewn across the floor and their naked bodies worked perfectly together to please the other. It was as if they were made to please each other, Harry knowing exactly what to do to make her feel good and he wasn’t afraid of asking what she wanted or needed. Y/n was (in Harry’s eyes) an expert on giving blowjobs - sucking him off like she could read his mind thinking about everything he liked. Her tongue skillfully dragged downwards on his cock to suck his balls while her hand continued its motion up and down, her thumb circling on his head. He was in heaven and had to pull her off before he’d shoot his load in her mouth before he could get a taste of her.

Over the next two months they continued hooking up - usually after Harry ended his shifts at the bar and y/n was more than ready to get out. Her friends knew something was up between them after the third time not leaving when they left. The fact that she was eyeing him every time he passed them was a dead giveaway, too, as she isn’t normally one to give guys ‘the eye’. They hadn’t brought it up or told her they knew after Caleb caught them making out in one of the back corners. Though Harry was embarrassed to have been caught doing something he probably shouldn’t have been doing while at work, Caleb only laughed and whipped around to walk back to their group. Y/n had told him it was fine and they wouldn’t care, but he quite clearly noticed the whole group would stare at him when he was close over the next few weeks. It was uncomfortable for him, but he came to terms with it knowing what they were actually doing was private and between only the two of them.

They had gotten to know each others bodies - what they respond to and how to tell they’re about to cum - over the time they spent together. Though they never extended their time with each other, always keeping it to going home - mostly to y/n’s place except if Harry’s parents are gone - and fucking. If it’s only one round or the whole night depended on if they were doing things the next day, but there had only been a handful of times they kept to one round. One of them always managed to keep the other going for at least another round which then turns into hours of them enjoying each other.

Y/n was asleep when Harry called her; his shift at Mike’s was over and he wanted nothing more than to see y/n. He knew she wasn’t at the bar as he would’ve seen her either in line or inside, probably trying to sneak off somewhere secluded to make out during his break. It had become a regular thing for them to sneak off suddenly, her friends understanding she was with Harry if they couldn’t see her. Y/n felt as if there were magnets pulling them together, not able to withstand the urge to be with him. She never thought of it to be anything more than what it is - he is the best she’s had and she doesn’t want to let go of it any time soon.

Harry on the other hand was starting to think what if there is a reason behind them not being able to keep away from each other for more than a couple of days? Christmas break was just around the corner and he knew y/n would be gone for almost a month and he wanted to see her as much as time allowed them to before she left to go to the other side of the country. He knew time would pass slowly when he had two weeks off work and she was gone. Sure, spending time with his family and friends is nice and all, but to be quite frank he’d rather spend it in bed with y/n.

When y/n finally answered her phone Harry didn’t even give her time to say hello before asking if he could come over to which she of course said yes. He always wonders if his parents notice him not coming home from work until early morning or after breakfast. He’s sure they do because his car isn’t in the driveway and they’ve told him they hear when he opens and locks the door at night. Right now though, he couldn’t care less about his parents having questions, all he wanted was to bury himself in y/n making her moan out in ecstasy.

Y/n will be the first to admit that he did just that. He had her writhing beneath him, shaking from the multiple orgasms he gave her, screaming so loud the neighbors might be worried for her safety and the smile so wide on her lips didn’t fall once. She was happy to let him take her for the rest of the night into the morning, hopefully leaving giving a smack to her ass just like she enjoys in the bed. Harry knew this and whenever she wanted him to give it to her on her stomach he smacked her asscheeks till they turned red and his handprints were visible. It wasn’t unknown between the two that he reveled in it, too, saving the image for whenever he couldn’t have her and had to revert to his hand.

“I want you to cum on my ass, please.” Y/n was as carefree in bed as she was out, never scared to tell him what she needed or ask him to change it up. Harry on the other hand, was still holding back a bit, the introvert in him hesitant to do anything in case he would mess something up. Y/n could tell he was coming out of his shell more as time went on and they continued hooking up, sometimes taking the reins and telling her exactly what he wanted or needed to get off. She remembered one specific time she gave him a blowjob he voiced his needs and she grinned at him so wide until he came in her mouth - You’re going to keep your hands behind your back until I’m close and then you’re going to swallow my cum.

Harry didn’t hesitate to pull out and have her turn around to lay on her stomach, she bucked her hips up against his cock in anticipation for what he’d do. She knew he loved her ass, always grabbing onto it when they were making out, she was riding him, or when she was on her stomach for him. His hands found their way to her cheeks, grabbing one in each hand and spreading them to ease into her.

It was six-thirty in the morning and it didn’t surprise them that they had been fucking on and off for almost four hours as it happened most times they met. Maybe they should be worried they’re fucking too much and becoming addicted to each other, but honestly Harry thinks that ship has sailed a long time ago. He was addicted to her but there is no way he’d ever tell y/n.

****

A month later and Christmas break was coming to an end. Y/n had spent most of her time away thinking about Harry. It had been lonesome without him. She was used to seeing him a couple days a week at least and now they hadn’t spoken a word to each other over the break. Really, it wasn’t that weird, because they never texted or called about anything except if Harry’s working or if he could come over. It was quite clear they weren’t friends as they didn’t know anything except surface things about each other. Y/n thinks maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they did become friends..

Harry himself had tried his hardest to keep y/n out of his head, only ending up with a hard on whenever he thought of her too long and having to leave the party to take care of himself. It was almost embarrassing having a crush on someone who continuously made him feel like a boy in middle school by getting boners whenever he couldn’t keep her out of his mind. He would never tell anyone about what they had been doing for the last few months, too shy to even talk about his sex life with his friends, but if this is how it’s going to continue he needs to at least grow some balls and talk to y/n.

Sure, he wasn’t opposed to continuing hooking up with her without talking about his possible feelings, but in the long run he knew it’d only hurt him more than making him happy. Even just hanging out without doing anything sexual would please him, getting to know her on a friendly level. Staying the night and being able to pull her closer to him and place a kiss on her temple before falling asleep spooning after fucking her raw would make him feel better about it than what they’re doing now - sleeping on opposite sides of the bed pretending to not know the other is there.

He’s been thinking that he’s using y/n for what she seems so happy to give him, but it has to be like that for her as well, he thought. She has to know they’ve been using each other and there might be a chance it would lead to something more for at least one of them, if not both, but Harry doesn’t want to be miserable if she doesn’t reciprocate his thoughts or feelings. Deciding it’s not worth dwelling over without talking to her first, he gets in his car and drives over to her place knowing she had come home earlier that day.

He stood outside her apartment door for some minutes to collect himself and know that being honest with her is what’s best for the both of them even if it goes sideways. The fact he was about to see her - and possibly fuck her - again after a month of nothing was also nerve-wracking.

There was no better time than the present and y/n opened the door only seconds after Harry knocked. With a lovely smile on her face and glowing eyes, it looked like she had needed the time away to relax and get back into her groove before the new semester. He couldn’t help but smile back, thinking about how he doesn’t ever want her smile to fade.

It didn’t surprise him that when he got inside and closed the door behind him she pulled him in for a kiss, already clawing at his jacket to get it off. Of course, Harry wanted nothing more than to give in to her lips and soft hands and continue until all their clothes were off and he could see the naked body he’d been dreaming about, but he had to talk to her first. He pushed her hands off of him and moved to create the smallest bit of space, not wanting her to think something’s wrong.

“Sorry.. I just have something to get off my chest if that’s alright?” Harry’s heart was beating a million miles an hour and y/n’s wasn’t far from that either. Immediately she came to the conclusion that he didn’t want to hook up anymore and she wouldn’t have the chance to get to know him like she decided she wanted to while she was away. It’s obvious they couldn’t keep playing games for forever, but she liked what they had going on - though she imagines she wouldn’t hate it if they were more than acquaintances. Hanging out a little longer, getting to know each other - more than knowing their favorite positions at least - and cuddling before going to bed. It didn’t sound awful.

“I’ve missed you over the past month, y/n.” She looked up at him, not meeting his eyes as they were fleeting all over the place not knowing where to place them. He certainly wasn’t confident enough in himself to place his eyes on hers, though he saw her wanting them to meet so she could be sure he wasn’t speaking nonsense. “You know I’m not good at speaking up, but I couldn’t keep this to myself as it concerns you as well. It’s alright if you don’t want to grow our acquaintanceship, but please don’t string me along.”

There was clear vulnerability in his quavering voice and y/n found it admirable how Harry had the courage to talk to her about his feelings, unlike her who was planning on keeping her thoughts to herself, for the time being at least. Now though, there is nothing keeping her from letting him know how she couldn’t want anything more than to advance their relationship to something more to see how compatible they are. They barely know each other and it might be a miss, but they owe it to themselves to at least try.

As Harry still wasn’t looking at her, he couldn’t see the smile getting wider by time. Y/n brought her hand up to his chin to guide his head in her direction. Closing the space between them, she put her lips on his, placing a delicate kiss on his lips - quite unlike the kisses they normally share.

“I missed you too, Harry.” He enclosed his arms around her waist, bringing her as close to him as he could without squeezing her too hard. She heard him sigh into her neck, content with how the conversation went, she presumed.

For the rest of the evening, they laid in her bed talking and getting to know each other, in more ways than one. It was intimate - like nothing Harry had ever experienced before - and when night came there was no way they would separate. Though y/n still had a week left before college started up again, Harry had work and it was clear they wouldn’t be able to spend that much time together. Tonight was their only night together before it was time to get back to reality, which is why she decided to go home with Harry. She’d only been there a handful of times over the course of their months hooking up, mostly because he didn’t want his parents to get in his business. It didn’t really matter this time, only caring about spending time together.

****

Hope you enjoyed my take on bouncer!h and I’d appreciate it if you reblogged to get my writing out <3

Last fic: FWB series chapter 1, chapter 2

#harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fiction #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #writing

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rostovs-lover · 4 years ago

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roy rogers

brian may x reader | cursing, some suggestive language, a little bit of anxiety, alcohol consumption | she/her pronouns | fluffy? slow-burn?? | wc.3667

i’m low key tempted to make a part two,,

anon : Can I request a super cute fic where Bri needs more money for uni, so he starts offering guitar lessons and the reader has a little brother who really wants to learn how to play, so she signs him up. Maybe her brother is extremely good with a guitar and he has a lot of lessons with Bri. He also sees the reader a lot and he catches feelings HARD. Maybe the reader’s little brother spills something to both of them with the help of the rest of the band and they end of together. I just need major FLUFF

your younger brother thinks his guitar teacher is perfect for you and he’s adamant about getting you together. requests open!!

A Roy Roger’s is a nonalcoholic drink made of cola and cherry grenadine and topped with a maraschino cherry.

Your younger brother, David, practically lived in your apartment. For a fourteen year old he was brilliant and very, very sneaky. Sneaky enough to creep out of your mother’s house in the dead of night and crawl up to the fire escape of your second story apartment.

When you’d stumbled to the kitchen, half asleep, he’d been at the table thumbing through a cookbook. He’d also had the audacity to laugh when you screamed, thinking he was an intruder. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and it most definitely wouldn’t be the last either.

“One of these days something is going to be thrown at your head,” You hissed, setting a bowl of cereal in front of David, who looked at it with the utmost disgust.

“What is this?”

“Quisp, either eat it or starve.”

He glowered at you, “I like Waffelos,”

“That's so sad, I have no money, its Quisp or nothing.” It was quiet for a while as you both ate, David still looking through your cookbook.

He closed the book, examining the cover as he spoke, “Mum said you have to sign me up for guitar lessons,”

“Mum said what?”

“You have to sign me up for guitar lessons, she’ll pay. I have a well of untapped potential in the musical realm. That's according to her coworker, Deirdre.” He sighed, exasperated, “Mum trusts Deirdre apparently because now I have to learn guitar.”

“Where on earth does mum expect me to sign you up, I mean did she give you any specifics, like a price range? Do you even have a guitar?”

“First, I have mum’s old guitar. Second, she just said lessons. I think she trusts your judgment.”

Despite how much you appreciated your mother trusting your judgment, finding reasonably priced guitar lessons with someone who wasn’t a creep was harder than anticipated. You had collected a handful of flyers and business cards, all offering said lessons. The first call you placed was to a nice old lady looking to take up some spare time by providing lessons but she lived too far away for your mother to drive every week. The next was almost promising until you told Robert MacIntere that the lesson was for your brother, not you and he hung up the phone. One woman had too many cats, another man asked for your shoe size, someone else cursed you out when you said you couldn’t do their outlandish prices. The only promising thing you had gotten was a History professor, a very nice man too. You were thrilled when the lessons had finally been scheduled until he bowed out at the last minute and you were back at square one.

You had almost given up when, one rainy Thursday evening, you found an advert pinned outside of the auditorium. Guitar lessons, not too far away, open every Tuesday and Wednesday after three o’clock. The document was typed, all except a phone number scrawled on the bottom, almost as if an afterthought. You scratched the number on the palm of your hand and called straight away when you got home.

The line wrung for several seconds, “Yo?”

“Hi. Hi, yes I’m calling about a flyer I saw posted at Imperial College? It was an advert for bi-weekly guitar lessons, and your number was on the paper. I was wondering about booking a couple of weeks?”

The person on the line snorted, “Sorry dear, that’s not me. I assume you’re looking for my mate, just one moment and I’ll gather him-” You heard his hand cover the receiver as she called for someone, “Just one sec’ lovie,”

The phone was audibly handed off, “Hello?”

“Hi, um I’m calling about the guitar lessons?”

“Oh!” His voice, “Yes, of course! That's me, are you looking to schedule one?”

You had scheduled for the following Tuesday at four, to meet at his apartment. In the car on the way there, David rambled on about everything he wanted to learn and exactly how ecstatic he was for this. He had named his guitar George, after George Harison, who he admired. On the elevator ride up to Brian’s apartment, David was practically vibrating and he bounced on the balls of his feet as you waited at the door.

The door was opened by a blond, clad in a bathrobe and flannel pyjama pants who puffed at his cigarette as he stared at you, “What brings you here?”

Before you could speak David, who the blond hadn’t noticed until just then, piped up, “The guitar lessons. I’m the one being taught, [Name] is just sitting in.”

“Oh, well come in then, I’ll go and get Brian.” He tucked his cigarette behind him and lead you inside, “Um, make yourselves at home, couch is all yours.” He howled Brian’s name and ducked into the kitchen, snuffing out the smoke in an ashtray.

David got settled on the couch, tugging out his guitar, and you set into a chair. From around the corner rushed a very frantic body, clutching his own guitar. He was very tall, and the black pants he wore made his legs seem unproportionate to his body. What caught your eye the most though was his hair, he had a thick mane of tightly wound black curls, which also added to his height.

“Hi, I’m very sorry about this, I got a touch caught up in a bit of school work.” He settled onto the couch next to your brother, “You must be David, I’m Brian.” He gestured a hand to your brother.

David, ever the charmer, shook firmly as he spoke, “Its pleasure meeting you. I wasn’t quite sure that lessons were even going to happen, no one seemed right, according to mum, but you seem nice! Your guitar is neat. Oh! That's my sister, [Name], I believe you spoke on the phone.”

“We did,” Brian leaned forwards to shake your hand as well, “Its nice to meet you,”

A better teacher would have been hard to come by. Brian was patient and soft spoken, he worked at your brother’s pace, never rushing past anything he didn’t fully understand. The lesson was only an hour long but it seemed much shorter, with a book in tow you didn’t pay much mind to anything else. That was until you caught yourself glancing over the cover to watch the lesson. Brian was attractive and he had very nice hands. You were somewhat aghast you’d never seen him on campus, he seemed hard to miss.

The lessons became weekly, and despite trusting Brian and his roommate, Roger, you still opted to stay for every one. It was always pleasant, the apartment was nice, Brian was nice, and you had begun to get acquainted with his friends. During the third week, Roger had let it slip that they were in a band. Brian’s face had flushed scarlet and he’d played with his fingers as he explained that it wasn’t anything serious. On that same visit, you’d had a conversation with Roger in the kitchen while he got you a glass of water. He was nice, only half awake at the time, but you’d realized you had an evolution class together at school. He had also given you his number, and David would absolutely not let you hear the end of it.

“Please-” Your brother cried as he threw himself onto your sofa, “You haven’t had a boyfriend in ages. The last one was, what was his name?”

You rolled your eyes, “Chet?”

“Chet Robbins! Chet the safe bet!”

“Chet the safe bet? Did you make that up?”

David smiled, very proudly, “I did! Just now actually, because it's true! Chet, the business student, trust fund child, frat boy. Why not date a drummer?”

“Because I like stability David,”

“[Name] date the drummer. I beg, I plead. He was so into you, he gave you his number!”

“If you will recall, I have his number. Because his number is the apartment number and that's what I called for the lessons. I also refuse to date your teacher’s best friend. How would I approach that, ‘Hi Brian! You’re teaching my brother an instrument, I did your friend last night. How have you been?’”

David gasped in mock disgust, “I never said a word about doing him. You foul wench, I simply implied dinner. Maybe seeing one of his shows.”

“Oh my dear, when you date a drummer it's never just dinner.” You snorted.

“Well, when I date a drummer it will be. Only dinner, no foul play.”

“Please, please keep that attitude for the rest of your life.”

It was quiet as he mulled over your words. You started off, putting away your bag and coat when he abruptly sat up, “You don’t dislike the drummer, in fact, it has nothing to do with him. You don’t like my teacher’s best friend, you like my teacher.” He grinned when your face lit up, “Oh you do, you absolutely do! I’ve never seen you blush that hard.”

“You little twit,” You hissed, “If you say a word about this I will have your head. This stays between us and us only.”

David was sneaky, very sneaky. Your conversation had planted an idea in his head like a seed and every brief glance and soft smile you shared with his teacher was water. He was growing a downright devious plan, with you directly at the center of it.

David, after quietly looking over the house and picking up on Brian’s affinity for science fiction, had been the one to recommend you start reading George Orwell’s 1984. He had also purposely disappeared to the restroom when he caught sight of Brian eyeing the cover.

Brian carefully cleared his throat, “Do you read much Orwell?”

“Oh, Orwell? No, not really. I, um- I read The Road to Wigan Pier for a book club a while ago. Are you a fan?”

“Oh yes,” He smiled, leaning forwards, “I’ve read that, actually. I was in a band a few years back by the same name,”

You cocked your head, closing the book against your finger, “1984?”

“Yes, quite silly, I know. Never was much good at naming.”

“Roger said you’re in a band now, what's that called?”

His cheeks were beginning to pick up a soft pink again, “Um, Queen. Our singer named it-”

David sat back down, “Did I miss anything important?”

Brian looked away and you went back to your book. The only noise became the guitar residing between the two boys on the couch. David had learned enough to start on a song, I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash. It was recognizable enough to draw your attention, and it was lovely at first until it was all David played. When you returned home, when you visited your mother, he played it so much you had memorized the fingering to it.

It was at another lesson, several weeks later, when you had been left by your lonesome. David had gone to get a drink and Brian had run to retrieve something from his room. All alone and with nothing to tell you not to you settled into the couch with the guitar and tried at the song. It was choppy, a bit off-key, but mostly there.

“I didn’t know you played?” Brian’s voice was soft but you still jumped, shooting around to find him. Leaned against the back of the sofa he twirled a coin between his fingers, grinning down at you.

You swallowed, “I don’t, no, not really. Dave’s just played this so much I remembered how it looked.”

He propped his chin in his hand, “I think you could be quite good. Just, here-” He slipped the coin between his teeth to reach down, softly grasping your wrist, adjusting your placement on the neck. His hands were warm and it sent a shiver up your spine as he carefully moved your fingers, “That should do nicely, I trust you’ll do well with the right placement.” He was quiet for a moment, silently pondering something, “Friday night we have a show at about ten o’clock, say you come and maybe I could show you something on the guitar afterwards.”

You considered, “Where is it?”

“The Cameo, downtown London.”

“It sounds lovely, very, but I have to admit I’m not big on the downtown London clubs. I actually don’t know where that is. Although I do have a friend whos well versed with the scene, I could ask her to show me there?”

“Wonderful,” He grinned, “It's a date!” Something else David wouldn’t let go of. Usually, all he talked about was the music he learned but now he was enthralled with the prospect of a new romantic venture. You had been informed on exactly how to dress, what makeup to wear, what drink to order. He also picked the exact shade of blue for you to paint your nails.

You called Marilla after your mother picked David up and she had agreed, enthusiastically, to show you to the club. When she arrived you had been called ‘prudish’ and were forbidden to dress yourself. In the very back of your closet was a floral dress you’d bought for a wedding reception that never happened. It was supposed to be returned but you just hadn’t gotten around to it.

“It doesn’t scream rock n’ roll,” She inspected the green fabric under the kitchen light, “But anyone can look like Twiggy with enough eyeshadow so it’ll have to do. You should invest in club clothes, you might have to if anything goes with this guitar player.” Her eyebrows wagged.

You rolled your eyes, taking the dress from her, “Hush, you’re just as bad as David.”

“Your brother?” Marilla snorted, “What's he got to do with this?”

“He's an insufferable little shit, that's what-” You pushed off your top, “At first he tried to get me with the guitar player’s flatmate but when that didn’t work he really pushed Brian and I,”

Marilla was amused, far more amused than you, “He's a cunning thing, I’ve always liked him. Oh boy, now I really want to see your guitarist, Brian was it?”

The club pulsed, dull lights glaring down against everything. It was smokey and smelled of weed and whiskey. The band onstage was far too loud and you clung to Marilla’s hand as she pulled you up to the bar.

“What do you want?” She practically had to yell for you to hear but it went through you, you couldn’t think with all the noise and lights. She sighed and patted your hand, “A Moscow mule and a Roy Roger’s please.” She shouted at the bartender, “It's alright babes, no alcohol, just fancy cherry coke.” You nodded and accepted the drink, taking a tentative sip as you scanned the crowd. The band onstage had seemed to conclude their set but it didn’t make things any quieter. It was overwhelming really, moreso as Marilla started to pull you up to the front.

“Come on, it's almost ten. Your boy’ll be up next!” She settled in front of the stage, rooting you to the spot next to her.

Brian’s flatmate came out, twirling a drumstick between his fingers and he was met with loud cheers. Marilla whooped, waving big up at him. He was followed by the bass player, Brian, and the singer. They were all enthralling, and you were enraptured. The boys on stage looked ethereal, in flowy tops and sparkly makeup. The frontman was clad in glittery jewelry and the bass player wore platform boots. Their music drew you in and eased your nerves about how crowded the club was. The last song had a guitar solo and as he played Brian’s eyes met yours. A rose of warmth bloomed into your cheeks and he grinned, fingering at the chords.

Marilla, immune to none, elbowed you in the ribs, “That's him?!”

You nodded, “It is,”

“Damn girlie! Good for you! But for the record, I think I like the drummer,”

“His name is Roger. If you come backstage with me you can meet him.”

She grinned, “I’m so proud of you, getting connections!” As they finished Roger flung one of his drumsticks into the crowd. You flinched as Marilla’s hand shot out. She squawked as she caught it, quickly tucking it into her pants and taking your hand, pulling you towards the back lounge. She pushed at the thin curtain to the side, slipping in.

It was quieter and you watched people in glamorous outfits dally about. A redhead in hot pants dropped onto the shabby leather sofa, passing glass bottles of something to both the drummer and bassist. The singer was swirling what you could only assume to be a cosmopolitan. He looked up, catching sight of you and Marilla, both looking a bit lost.

“Hello, come come!” The singer waved you over and Marilla practically dragged you.

“You are spectacular!” She raved, “All of you, magical!” She tugged the stick out of her waistband and made her way to the drummer.

You cleared your throat, “You really are amazing, you have a lovely voice.”

The brunette smiled, “Thank you! I’m Freddie by the way, our charming drummer is Roger. The lovely John plays bass and Brian should be around here somewhere, he plays the guitar.”

“It's nice to meet you, Freddie, I’m [Name]. I was actually looking for Brian,” You twiddled with your fingers, looking down, “He asked to meet here tonight. You wouldn’t happen to know where he is would you?”

“You know, he may have popped to the kitchen. I’ll show you,” Freddie stood up. He seemed to catch your hesitation, glancing back to Marilla, “I’ll keep an eye on her. Roggie really is no harm, he plays much bigger than he actually is, I don’t think he could hurt a soul. Not an undeserving one at least.” He started towards the kitchen with you in tow.

Aforementioned kitchen was small and shockingly clean. Your guitarist sat on the counter with a glass of water.

Brian seemed to be in his own world until Freddie caught his attention, “Someone’s been looking for you, my dear,”

Brian looked up, “[Name]! Hello, I’m so glad you came!” He slid off the counter setting his drink down, “Did you bring your friend?”

“I did, she’s become infatuated with Roger though.”

He grinned, “Oh Rog seems to do that to some people.”

“Well, I'll leave you to it!” Freddie called, waving and walking back to the lounge.

When the door shut Brian began to fiddle with the bottom of his shirt, “I left my guitar in the other room, I could go and grab it if you’d still like to learn that song.” He studied your face, “But you don’t look comfortable, are you alright?”

“Yes, this just isn’t really my scene. I’m not used to the noise and everything, there's a lot of people here.”

He smiled sympathetically, “I know, it's crowded. There's a nice little diner just down the road, we could walk there and talk if you’d like.”

You nodded, “Sure, that would be lovely.”

The air was crisp and it brought you back to reality from the club. Brian had lent you an extra sweater he had brought, it was warm but you had to roll the sleeves a few times. It was quiet as you walked, the occasional car rushing past. The sidewalk narrowed as you got closer to the strip of restaurants and you felt the back of Brian’s hand brush yours. You caught his fingers, lacing yours into them and nervously looking up. His expression mimicked yours, jittery and shy and totally taken.

“You look very pretty,” He murmured, thumbing over your knuckles, “That green looks very nice on you.”

You smiled, “Thank you, you look lovely as well.”

“Oh pish posh, this is just stage wear. But I’m glad you think it looks okay, Rog said I looked frumpy.”

You giggled, “Marilla, the one who brought me, called me prudish earlier.”

His laugh was soft, “Well, we can be fashion disappointments to our friends together,” He pulled open the door to MaryAnne’s Diner, holding it for you.

You were settled in a booth waiting for your order when Brian spoke, “David really has potential,”

“With the guitar? I’m not surprised, he's always been good at everything he tries. It's really quite annoying, how brilliant he is.”

“He seems so, a very nice kid. Does he live with you?”

“No no,” You smiled, “No he lives with our mum, he just sneaks out to see me more than he should. I don’t know if I ever thanked you for letting me sit in, I know it's not common practice. I just worry about him, he seems so much older than he actually is and I’m worried it’ll get him in trouble one day.”

Brian patted your hand, “Oh darling, I understand. I really don’t mind at all, I’m glad I met you.”

“I’m glad I’ve met you as well.”

He had walked you home, contently explaining the story behind one of the constellations he saw.

He stalled at the door, keeping your hand in his, “So I suppose I’ll see you next week?”

“Absolutely,”

He moved one hand to push a piece of hair out of your face, “Well until then I suppose,”

You leaned up, closing in on him. You felt his hot breath against your cheeks, “Is this okay?”

He nodded, “More than,” And pulled you into him.

He was as gentle in kissing you as he was in everything else, carefully nudging his nose against yours. His mouth was warm and he stroked your mandible, easing deeper into the kiss. He relished in the taste of maraschino cherry from the Roy Roger’s you’d had earlier. You gasped softly as he nipped at your bottom lip, pulling away. The lipgloss he had been wearing was smeared against the corner of your mouth and he carefully wiped at it with his thumb.

David would never let you hear the end of this either.

#Brian May #brian may imagine #brian may x reader #Queen #queen imagine #queen x reader #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagines #queen #lennie writes

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australiancarisi · 4 years ago

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12 with olivia benson please!

Words: 2550 Remember when I said these were gonna be drabbles… also Nick, Rafael, Mike & Kat are in this because I love them all thx for coming to my ted talk

‘how is my wife more badass than me?’

You groaned as you rolled over to Liv’s side of the bed to turn the blaring alarm off. It took a lot of effort and tries but you eventually managed to turn it off with a huff. You wrapped the blanket around you, closed your eyes and snuggled into Liv’s pillow. You peeped an eye open when you heard Liv chuckle.

“What” you mumbled

“You are just adorable” Liv smiled from the doorway to your bathroom

“Why are you out of bed?” you whined rolling onto you back

“Because although it is your day off my love, it is not mine” Liv said and headed back into the bathroom to continue getting ready.

“But the alarm only just went off. If I’m going to be woken up early on my day off a mere five hours after getting home from my shift, I should get cuddles” you demanded. “I’m not joking” you said as Liv laughed at you. You sat up slightly when you noticed your bedroom door slowly open “here’s my cuddles”

“y/n” Noah ran up and jumped onto the bed and got straight into your arms

“Hello sweet boy, how do you have so much energy at 6 in the morning” you grinned smothering his face with kisses. Noah’s laugh had to up there as one of your favourite sounds, so pure, so innocent. Liv leant against the door frame and watched the two of you together. She had been so nervous when the two of you had started dating about how Noah would take to you, but from the moment he met you, he was glued to your side and you were wrapped around his little finger. Even now, two years into your marriage and nothing had changed.

“See this could have been all yours but now Noah gets all the cuddles” you squeezed him a little tighter making him giggle.

“Alright you two” Liv playfully rolled eyes “Come on Noah let’s get you ready for school before Lucy gets here”

“Nooooo”

“Yesssss” Liv teased him

“But I wanna stay with y/n”

“I can get him ready” you said with a yawn

“The only thing you are going to do is go back to sleep” Liv said

“But-“

“No buts. You didn’t get home until 1am you need to sleep my love” Liv pecked your lips and reached out to Noah, who just snuggled into you “Noah” he whined again. Your schedule had been all over the place lately. You had been doing doubles and night shifts for the last few weeks, you had barely seen Liv let alone Noah, it was no wonder he was clinging to you

“Go on sweet boy, I promise I’ll be there to pick you up after school” you kissed his forehead

“Promise?” He asked holding his pinkie up. You wrapped yours around his.

“Pinkie promise. 3 o’clock. I’ll be there” with the promise of seeing you later agreed on Noah left.

“Get some sleep my love” Liv smiled kissing you again before turning off the lights leaving you to catch up some much-needed rest.

When you woke up again it was nearly 11am. You jumped up pottered around the house, cleaning up Noah’s toys, putting away any dishes and things that were lying around and doing some laundry. These were your favourite type of days, where you just chilled at home, cleaned and were able to do things at your own pace.

“To what do I owe the pleasure Captain” you grinned, answering your phone

“Do I need a reason to call my wife?” Liv asked. You could basically hear her rolling her eyes.

“No, but it is out of the ordinary”

“What are you doing?” Liv asked, changing the subject

“Just about to leave actually, going to meet Jas for lunch at the café down the street. Even put on jeans for the occasion” You locked the door as you headed out to meet your friend.

“Wow fancy…” she trailed off and you could hear her talking to Sonny and Amanda

“How busy are you today?” you asked when you heard her lift her phone back to her ear

“You don’t even want to know… that’s why I called I doubt I’ll be home for dinner”

“It’s okay- “

“No, it's not” Liv cut you off with a frustrated sigh “I need to be home more, I need to spend more time with you and Noah and- “

“And you need to work. Because it’s what you love, because you are helping the people that need it. You are a good police officer, the best actually. Noah and I can handle a few late nights. Besides Noah needs something to be mad about when he’s a teenager” you joked. You smiled as you heard Liv chuckle a little. You hated how much pressure put on herself to be perfect at everything.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Liv asked

“Once or twice but I’ll never grow tired of hearing it”

“I love you”

“I love you too, I’ll see you when I’m looking at you, be safe”

“Always”

“You know you have a stupid look on your face” your friend and co-worker Jas said as you met out the front of the café while hanging up the phone

“It’s called love, you should try it sometime” you teased

“No thank you” Jas replied with a laugh. The two of you sat in the busy café and caught up on everything outside of work. Jas told you about one of the many guys she had on the go at the moment, you gushed about Liv and Noah.

“I mean seriously if I could I’d shove my foot where the sun doesn’t shine” Jas huffed bitching about one of your co-workers.

“I should probably go, need to run a couple of errands before I pick up Noah” You looked at your phone double-checking the time, an hour before you had to get Noah. You and Jas went to stand up when all hell broke loose. Everything changed in a split second. One moment you were sitting there with your friend having an amazing day and the next you were hiding under a table as a man held the café at gunpoint.

“NOBODY MOVE” he screamed turning in a circle with his gun pointed and ready to shoot. “NO ONE MOVES NO ONE CALLS THE COPS” You slowly and quietly got your phone out.

“What are you doing?” Jas whispered, her voice shaking in fear “did you not just hear him?”

“There’s no way I’m not texting Liv” you huffed

Liv sighed as she waited for the coffee machine to brew a new jug. Her eyes felt like they were going to fall out after all the paperwork she had been doing all day. All her detectives had been out either talking to victims or following leads so all she had done today was sit at her desk and do paperwork and reply to emails. Picking up her cup, Liv headed back out to the squad room as she heard everyone return. As Amanda was filling everyone in on the lead that she and Sonny had been following when everyone’s phone buzzed, and officers began moving.

“Café being held at gunpoint” Fin frowned

“Unknown gunman, unknown reason” Kat read from her phone

“I wonder which one” Sonny thought aloud

“Café 98” Liv almost threw her coffee on the nearest desk running into her office to grab her gun and badge.

“How do you know?” Fin asked

“Y/n is there”

Half an hour had passed, you could now hear the sirens of police officers in the distance, Liv responded and told you she was on the way and it was going to be okay. It was only words, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel better. The gunman was shouting at the café workers, blaming them for everyone being taken hostage because they didn’t give him money. You took deep breaths and tried to stay calm. The café phone rang, then again and again.

“Someone shut that fucking phone up!” the man yelled

“It’s going to keep ringing” your mouth said before your mind could stop you

“What was that bitch?” He started moving towards you. You slowly stood up, hands in the air.

“The p-phone. It’s the police. They want to talk, and they are going to keep calling until you answer” you stuttered, your confidence slowly falling.

“How would you know?” He sneered “you a cop?”

“No!” you quickly exclaimed “uh no I’m not but I am married to one. My wife is the captain at the 16th” you pulled your phone out of your pocket to show him your lock screen. It was a picture of you and Liv – her in her uniform - when she promoted to captain.

“You answer it then” he motioned with the gun towards the phone. You slowly walked over to the counter, focused on the man and the gun and picked up the phone.

“Hello” you said

“Hello, this is Captain Mike Dodds who is this?” you breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar voice.

Olivia jumped out of the car at the scene, almost before Fin had actually stopped the car. It was chaos. Uniforms were holding back the public as well as journalists. There were lights flashing and being screaming. Olivia could hear people asking if it was a terrorist attack but right now, she didn’t care about motive, all she wanted was to get you out of there. Flashing her badge, she and the rest of the squad were let through and they headed towards ground zero.

“Who’s in charge?” Liv asked a nearby uni who pointed her in the direction. She had a small smile when she saw Mike and Nick hunched over a table. “Captain Dodds, Sargant Amaro”

“Liv” the pair frowned “what are you guys doing here? This is major crimes’ not svu”

“y/n is in there” Fin said

“So what do you know?” Liv asked

“Not a lot. No contact has been made yet. We’re about to try again” Nick said as Mike lifted the phone to his ear.

“Hello, this is Captain Mike Dodds who is this?” Mike asked, his eyes met Liv and he quickly put the phone onto speaker. “y/n is anyone hurt?

“No, no one is hurt. There’s probably about 30 of us in here” hearing your voice was music to Liv’s ears. Mike asked you a few more questions, not that you were able to give him much more information.

“Mike, I need you to tell Liv someone has to get Noah, I was supposed to pick him up from school and he’s going to be so upset if I’m not there” Liv turned to her squad, she hadn’t even thought of Noah.

“I’m on it” Sonny nodded pulling his phone out and moving away from everyone.

The fact that Mike was the person on the other end of the line made you a little less anxious. You tried to give him as much info as possible, but the gunman was not giving you anything, he wouldn’t even tell them what he wanted.

“Mike, I need you to tell Liv someone has to get Noah, I was supposed to pick him up from school and he’s going to be so upset if I’m not there and-“

“Alright that’s enough” the gunman grabbed the phone out of your hand and hung up. You quickly moved back to your spot under the table. The gunman was growing anxious, pacing around the room, it was clear he didn’t have a plan.

“There’s a back door” Jas whispered “a few of us could get out”

“I’ll distract him”

“I think Liv would kill me if I left you in here” Jas huffed

“If you get out the police can get it, she’ll live with it” you slowly stood back up “you should really stay away from the windows”

“What?” the man spat at you

“The police, they’ll be looking for a spot for a sniper to take you out” you walked towards him, moving around so he kept his eyes on you. Jas and a couple others started to creep towards the door. You were racking your brain trying to remember everything Liv had ever told you about hostage situations.

“Shouldn’t you stay away from the windows to then?”

“My wife’s a cop. You don’t think she’s out there?” you chuckled “And the guy on the phone before? He was her number 2 not too long ago, he got promoted not too long before my wife, he goes to my son’s dance recitals, he’s not gonna let anything happen to me. I doubt there is an officer that doesn’t know what I look like. They aren’t going to shoot me, but they will shoot you” your eyes swept the room quickly, Jas was out.

“Then maybe I should just shoot you” he held the gun to your face. You held your breath and closed your eyes. You thought of Liv and Noah and how much you loved them. Suddenly the back door opened and your eyes shot open.

“NYPD!” the gunman’s attention turned to the police officers, then, without thinking you grabbed the gun and his arm, flipping him to the ground. You quickly ripped the gun from his hand and took it apart.

“Seems you learnt some tricks over the years” Mike grinned coming up to you as one of the other officers handcuffed the man. You wrapped your arms around him and relaxed, you were okay, everyone was okay.

“She’s out there right?” you needed your wife right now

“did you expect her to be anywhere else?” Nick smirked joining you and Mike. He wrapped his arm around you too “took almost everyone to keep her from busting through the door herself” you grinned at that. Classic Liv. Mike and Nick lead you out the front door of the café. The moment you stepped out you found Liv. She was standing with Jas and the rest of the squad. Her eyes locked with yours and you thought you were going to start crying. The two of you ran to each other, throwing your arms around the other.

“Oh my love” Liv squeezed you “are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay” you whisper into her neck

“She’s more than okay” Mike said, you pulled back from Liv’s arms. The rest of the squad joined you. “not only did she distract him to get those guys out, when we came in she grabbed his gun and disarmed him”

“Nice” Kat grinned, clearly impressed

“How is my wife more badass than me?” Liv grinned and kissed your forehead

“Learnt from the best” you responded “Noah…”

“All covered, Raf’s got him” Sonny said “He’s no y/n but I’m sure Noah was just as excited to see Uncle Rafa”

“Probably more” you laughed, you grabbed Liv’s hand and squeezed “Let’s go see our son”

“Anything you want my love” Liv kissed your lips “I’m so proud of you”

#law and order svu #law and order svu imagines #law and order fanfic #Olivia Benson #olivia benson x reader #olivia benson imagine #olivia benson fanfic

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libradoodle1 · 3 years ago

Note

Ask game! Fluffy #8 "We should go look at stars!" Please! 🤗

Thanks for the request @moondancer71. A fluffy prompt deserves sweet teens Jon and Dany. Aren’t they just adorable?

#8 - “We should go look at stars”

Dany rolled over in bed, hugging the pillow tightly to her chest and squeezed her eyes shut to stave off the tears. She tried to focus on the music that was blasting through her headphones, but it was no use. It didn’t matter what tricks she tried to employ, none of them were able to drown out the terrible screaming coming from her parents room.

She should have known they wouldn’t be able to stop their constant bickering, even if it was her big day and they had both promised that morning over breakfast that they’d make it special for her.

But those vows didn’t matter any longer, hadn’t as soon as they both sat down and ordered drinks at her nameday dinner. Now, they were both well and drunk and the gloves were off. What else was new?

The ding of an incoming text caused her eyes to flutter open. She flipped her phone over and the corners of her mouth curved up automatically.

You back from dinner with your family?

It was from Jon, her next door neighbor and best friend.

Just listening to music in my room. You?

She watched the bubbles appear while he was typing and then his message came through.

We should go look at stars.

Biting her lip, she contemplated a moment. It was a school night and almost midnight so she probably shouldn’t. If her parents found out, they’d have a fit.

At the sound of a door slamming and a flurry of curses from her father, her eyes narrowed as she tossed the pillow aside. They didn’t care one bit that they had broken their promise to her, so why should she try so hard to please them?

Ok, let’s do it.

Dany jumped out of bed and quickly took off her ratty tshirt and shorts. Jon had seen her in them before, but lately she’d been wanting to look a bit more put together in front of him. She put on the gift her brother Rhae had given her, no doubt picked out by his wife.

It was a metallic purple and gold striped tank with spaghetti straps. The sweetheart neckline had a heart on the front and hugged close to her body. She paired it with skinny jeans and looked at herself in the mirror, pleased with the way the new top looked on her.

She wondered briefly if Jon would think it was too revealing so she grabbed her purple and yellow jacket and threw it on, zipping it all the way up.

Stepping out onto her balcony, she quietly dragged a chair over close to the roofline and stood on it. Within a minute, his head popped over the side and he grinned down at her.

“Ready to come up?” he asked as he reached for her hands.

Nodding her head, she lifted both arms overhead and he pulled her all the way up to join him. Taking a moment, they grinned at each other in the dark.

They had been sneaking up on her roof for the last three years, ever since her brother Viserys moved out for school and she got his old room. Shortly after that time, Jon started climbing the tree between their houses so he could use it to come over to her side.

It began because they didn’t have cell phones and couldn’t talk after dark, but now, though they both had their own, they still liked to go up there. It was their secret and a special place, just for the two of them.

He held her hand to keep her steady as they moved to the spot he had already picked out, a blanket laid out to cushion them from the rough shingles and a little box beside it. He tried to ignore how soft and warm she was, how her fingers curled tightly to his.

Tried not to focus on how perfect her hand felt clasped within his own.

As Jon pulled her along to where he had his stuff set out, she thought she felt a tremor of his fingers along hers, but dismissed it as wishful thinking. He was so self assured and confident; there wasn’t any need for him to be nervous.

Unlike her, she was sure his heart wasn’t pounding away in his chest; certain he didn’t have problems breathing at her nearness the way she seemed to be at his.

They sat side by side and she took the time to unzip her jacket and shrug it off her shoulders. She snuck a glance at him and pretended not to notice the way his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her. Instead, she bit her lip to keep her pleased smile from giving her away.

From their height on the roof, the streetlamps didn’t really provide much lighting, but still, he couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of her. Dany was so pretty under the full moon with the stars shining brightly overhead, her silver blonde hair illuminating her lovely face.

“How was your celebration dinner?”

She gave a listless shrug of one shoulder, her lips turned down in a frown. “It was ok, I guess. Since Vis and Rhaenys couldn’t take time off from uni, it was just my parents, Rhae, Elia and Egg.”

Dany tried to smile, but he could see the sadness in her eyes. “Was it another bad fight?”

Letting out a sigh, she leaned into him and he wrapped his arm around her, tucking her closer to his side.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “They were doing so well, but then once they started drinking, I just knew it was going to end badly. My father accused my mother of cheating, then she called him crazy and that pretty much got us kicked out of the restaurant.”

She thought back to earlier and how humiliating it was with all the diners gawking at them while Rhae scrambled to take care of the check after her parents stormed out of the restaurant.

“Elia wanted me to spend the night at their house after they dropped us off, but I didn’t want to,” she explained. “I just wanted to go to sleep and wait for this awful day to end.”

She lay her head on his shoulder and even though she was being truthful when she said she couldn’t wait for the day to be over, it was no longer the case. More than anything, she wanted this moment to linger.

“Dany, I’m so sorry you had an awful night.”

It came as no shock that they ruined her day. Too many times he’d seen her eyes red rimmed in the morning on their drive to school. He always had to bite his tongue and put on a polite smile if one of her parents greeted him at the door when all he wanted to do was tell them off for the pain they caused her.

Jon reached between them and squeezed her hand gently before letting go. “I wish I could have made your nameday better.”

She lifted her face up, her eyes holding his steadily and his breath hitched for just a moment. Sometimes, when she looked at him, really looked at him, as she was doing now, he thought maybe she could see right through him. Maybe she knew his secret after all.

A secret that was shaped just like her. One he held in the depths of his heart, too afraid to let out for fear that he would ruin everything between them.

“You already have, Jon.”

His beautiful face lit up in a smile and it made her smile in turn. He had no idea that just being with him like this, in their secret hideaway, was better than any gift she had been given.

Up here, under the blanket of shining stars, there was nothing but silence. No screaming, cursing or crying. No empty promises that would go unfilled. No disappointed sighs over thick tension at the dinner table.

Up here, under the watchful eye of the moon, the only sounds were the giggles Jon always coaxed from her. His eyes spoke promises his lips never had to say, telling her she would always matter to him. And the only sighs ever heard were when they had to part from one another.

Shifting back from her, he opened the box sitting beside him.

“Close your eyes,” he said. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?” She tried to peek around his body, but he moved to intercept and block her view.

“No peeking,” he chastised. “Just close your eyes and you’ll find out soon enough.”

She pouted for just a split second, but did as he requested. His hands drew hers from her lap and brought them to hold out in front of her. She could feel the tingle of his touch and tried not to hold on to his fingers as he pulled away from her.

Something lightweight was placed into her palms and she perked her ears, trying to figure out what he was doing as she heard a couple of clicks, then a sizzle. She could smell smoke and behind her closed lids, she saw lights dancing.

“Ok, you can open your eyes now.”

She gasped in surprise at the sight that greeted her and was hit with a wave of embarrassment when her eyes suddenly teared up.

“You got me a cake!”

Dany was blinking rapidly and in the flickering light from the sparkling candle, he could see her eyes were wet with tears. He hoped she wouldn’t cry because that wasn’t his intent at all.

“Well, not exactly,” he said sheepishly. “It’s just a cupcake, but I figure you might be caked out from dinner so this is just a little something extra.”

She didn’t say anything and just looked at him as she bit her lip, violet eyes extra large in the soft glow of light. “I didn’t want the day to end without letting you know how special you are.”

“Oh, Jon,” she sighed out. “Thank you so much.”

He had no idea, but his gesture truly meant more than she could ever say. The truth was, there wasn’t a nameday cake for her. Her parents' antics caused the dinner to be cut short and in the ensuing fallout, the restaurant staff completely forgot about bringing her cake out from the kitchen.

No one in her family even remembered it and not only did it feel petty to bring it up, but she didn’t exactly feel like celebrating with anyone after that.

“I would sing to you, but I think you’ve suffered enough for one night,” he teased.

She giggled at him and bumped her knee against his. “C’mon, you have a pretty voice.”

Shaking his head, he refused to budge. There was no way he’d sing to her, especially after she called his voice pretty. “Even though I won’t serenade you, you can still make a wish.”

Dany could see he wasn’t going to give in so she closed her eyes. She didn’t even have to think about it; she knew exactly what she wanted. Perhaps, since the heavens were bearing witness to this moment, they would finally grant her what she wished for most in this world.

Blinking her eyes open, she blew out the single flame and once again they were bathed in only the light from the dark sky above.

“Will you share the cupcake with me?” she asked.

At his nod, she unwrapped the paper lining and split the dessert into two halves before handing his piece to him.

Jon watched as she poked her tongue out and licked at the top of the icing. Instantly, he felt flushed and he was grateful for the dark that hid his red face. Unlike the small ladylike nibbles she was taking, he took two bites and finished the whole thing while her eyes goggled at him.

After four more bites, she was almost done and turned to him. Holding out the small morsel, she gave him a shy smile. “Since you were so sweet to get me a cupcake, I want you to have the last piece.”

Before he could reach out to take it from her, she brought her hands up to his lips. Their eyes locked in the dark and his mouth opened automatically to receive her.

He was warm against her fingertips and when he took the sweet from her, his teeth grazed her skin, just the tiniest bit. It sent a jolt of electricity through her and she quickly pulled her hand back, less he noticed how they shook.

Her fingers were smeared with icing and not giving it any thought, she brought them to her mouth and licked at the sugar, right over where his lips had just been a moment before.

Watching as she lightly sucked on her finger, he was overcome with a need to finish what she started. Maybe it was the look on her face as her eyes stared into his, but a streak of boldness took over and he leaned over until their faces were inches apart.

“I thought you said I’d get the last taste.”

Without hesitation, her fingers popped out from between her lips and he closed in until he was pressed against her skin. He lightly skimmed his mouth over the cream smeared tips, barely stroking them before her hand dropped away.

With nothing to separate them, he moved in and finally, brushed his lips against hers.

Jon could taste the sweetness of her, but knew it had nothing to do with the icing. This was a moment he’d only dreamed about and he savored the flavor of Dany on his mouth.

His arms came to wrap gently around her waist and she shifted into him. As they tentatively explored their secret yearnings for one another, she breathed in the scent of him, letting it wash over and wrap around her.

He was hot against her lips and their mouths danced, taking turns leading. Her body was humming from being held in his strong arms, a warmth flooding through her veins at his touch. This was where she wanted to stay forever, with their hearts beating furiously together as they held onto each other.

When they pulled apart, she fluttered her lids open to find him watching her, his eyes shining, a hopeful smile on his face .

“What do you want to do now?” he asked, his breathing slightly labored. “Do you want to head back inside?”

“No,” she said with a slight shake of her head before her own smile lit up her face. “I would like to look at stars.”

Grinning widely, he lay back on the blanket and opened his arm, patting one shoulder in invitation. She moved into his embrace and he closed in around her.

“Happy Nameday, Dany,” Jon whispered against her ear before placing a small kiss to her temple.

She snuggled against him and smiled up at the stars in a silent bid of thanks. It was a happy nameday. It truly was.

#jonerys drabbles #jonerys #libra writes

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aweecrush · 3 years ago

Text

Prologue

Tuesday, October 16th 2007

“Jesus, I can’t believe you’re actually in the fucking plane - took you long enough! If I had known it took a wedding to get your arse back home, I would have had a couple by now, for God’s sake .”

“Michelle, you promised you wouldn’t start! ” Clare’s reproachful voice rose.

“Aye, first, I didn’t promise shit, and second, I told you, she’s not chickening out so chill out - right Erin?”

Despite the culpability and shame pricking at her skin, her heart warmed at their traditional bickering she wished she’d hear more often. At their voices. And, most of all, at knowing that in a few hours, she’d get to hear them for real.

Feck, she’d missed these eejits.

“Well, I’m not actually in the plane yet, we’re waiting to board. And then I still have that stupid long flight, and then the stupid long wait at stupid London, so don’t wait up - but yes, I’m definitely on my way,” she promised, earning herself an earful of high pitched cackles and happy swears.

Her heart welled up.

“So, how is the bride doing? She wasn’t home when I called earlier, and all Mammy could talk about was how the caterer was driving her crazy and how aunt Sarah almost set her own hair on fire trying a new hairdo she’d like to nail for the ceremony.”

Michelle snorted. “ Yeah, hilarious so it was. You should have seen your dad’s face, mental. ”

“It was terrifying,” Clare corrected, apparently still shaken.

Then, perked up. “Orla’s going to look so cute though - I can’t wait for you to see the dress!” Erin tried to ignore the sting of not having been there for such an important moment.

“We’re still trying to convince her out of drawing anything on it, but I’m not sure we’ll win this one, to be honest. Also, we’ve got everything almost ready to go for the bachelorette party, although I do need you to help me stop Michelle from bringing the tons of drugs she wants to, because - ”

“For feck’s sake Clare, Orla would love it! The girl is tying the knot, she deserves to get properly shit faced.”

“She said she wanted something small!”

“She said she would have liked to have a little something with just the five of us the night before. She never said anything about the actual bachelorette party being small - or fucking boring for that matter!”

“Just the five of us?”

The words spilled out before she could stop them, stupid that she was. At the other end of the line, the girls went uncharastically silent, and Erin cursed herself.

Feck.

“I mean, that’s grand. It’s cool, I thought it was just going to be one big night for the bachelorette party before the big day, but - I mean, that’s even better! Grand - cool.”

Christ on a bike, that was pathetic. She was.

“Yeah...The thing is, Orla wanted a wee night with just us Derry girls the night before the bachelorette party, hanging at the bar and stuff you know, because - Well, just because.” Poor Clare was rambling now, in a typical panicked Clare kind of way. “And we thought - Well, then we thought about it, and it turns out it’s not going to work, just timing-wise and stuff, so - “

“So the point is we dropped it.”

“Right. Yep.”

Again, silence, only betrayed by the hammering in her chest that she hoped her friends wouldn’t hear over her cellphone.

“Oh okay, well - that’s a shame.” Her casual slash over the top fake disappointment tone did nothing to help convince anyone, of course, herself included. She winced.

She promised herself it wasn’t going to be like this, though. She wasn’t going to ruin this for anyone - not a chance.

For God’s sake, catch yourself on Erin.

Pushing all dangerous thoughts aside, Erin took a deep breath. “In any case, I’m sure it’ll all be fine - really fine.”

There were another few seconds of silence, and she could just picture the worried look they were sharing - probably very similar to the one they had that particular, fateful day. To the one they had again when she told them she was moving away. Then -

“You bet it’ll be fine - feck, it will be absolutely brilliant is what it is! Wait til you see my dress, Erin - my tits look amazing in it.”

As it turned out, running all over the city for work for the past ten days and dangerously flirting with the limits of sleep deprivation did have a perk: her whole, eight hours flight, Erin slept like a log.

(Truth was, she could have done without the look of contempt and the ‘Miss? You have drool on your face’ from that stupid flight attendant who woke her up when they landed, but still - all in all, it went well.)

The wait at Stansted airport, however, was pure hell.

Because of the jitters, mostly.

Growing up, despite how much she loved to complain about them, Erin had never actually considered living away from her family. Well, not that far, at least - she’d always known she would leave Derry after high school, which they did, and it was glorious. War or not, she had a pretty nice life as a child and then a teenager, but those college years and the first ones that had followed - they were the best of her life.

Still, it was only Belfast at the time, and Belfast was a two hours drive from home. Erin knew that at some point, she wanted to go out in the world, maybe live abroad for a while, but this - New-York, all on her own, away for so long? She hadn’t planned that. Didn’t, really - it all went so fast, in the end.

It was a good thing too, because if she had stopped and thought about it for too long, she wasn’t sure she would have gone through with it.

(Then again, what else could she have done?)

Despite her dreams, and her need for independence, and her eagerness to see the world, Erin had never thought that she’d leave her family for that far, for that long. Orla had come to see her once, thank goodness, but Jesus -

On the last picture her Ma had sent her, Anna had grown so much, she almost looked like a wee woman. She’d forgotten the exact colour of that lipstick aunt Sarah wore all the time, she couldn’t remember each wrinkle on Granda’s beautiful face like she used to, and sometimes, she was afraid she was forgetting her Da’s smell and what her Ma’s voice sounded like in real life. She’d missed them so much, it hurt (a lot, often).

She just couldn’t wait any longer to get back to that crazy bunch, and those last, endless few hours? Torture so it was.

She was half considering starting to work on her next article to pass the time when across from her, Erin spotted a young couple bickering, their luggages next to their seats. She was a beautiful thing, red hair tied in a messy bun, and his brown curls fell above his forehead, all messed up.

She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could make out their accents. He looked like he was trying to make her smile, leaning over so he could kiss her, and she was doing everything she could not to laugh, weakly trying to escape his arms around hers, her pretense wavering with every second.

They were probably in their early twenties, just out of uni or something. They looked happy.

Her chest tightened, and suddenly, Erin felt the urge to cry.

Well, that was quick.

Shite. Shite shite shite.

It was okay, though - it was all fine. She knew herself by now - she was emotional as heck most days of the year (crazy, her Ma would say), but the day of her returning back home, with accumulated fatigue and an Atlantic crossing flight in her feet? Of course she'd get misty eyed at the first occasion. At anything, this just happened to be what, because they were very cute and - it was a coincidence, nothing more.

It was nothing.

The girl laughed, though, giving him a small slap over the head before she let him nuzzle his face in the crook of her neck. She brushed his forehead with her lips, a soft smile on them, and kept talking.

It was difficult, then, not to think about another time, another long wait, at the Bali airport this time. It was difficult, not to think about another English fella with wild, brown curls.

It was impossible, really, not to think about him.

Memories of a perfect trip came flooding back, of burnt skin and drunken smiles, of blue waters and green eyes. The tickles of the sun, the softness of his fingers over her exposed neck, her naked arms. Sweaty bodies pressed together during hot nights, slow breathes, so many new sights discovered, fingers intertwined.

Sometimes, the memory of his face hidden against her neck was so vivid, she could almost feel it. Just like she did now.

Her breath caught.

Sweet suffering Jesus.

Experience had taught her that she had to stop now - needed to, really, before her mind wandered to anything more. To everything else, every little thing that could, and would, make her heart ache even more than it already did.

(That’s another thing she’d found out: as it happened, the expression “heartbreak” wasn’t, in fact, an overly dramatic turn of words. Quite accurately descriptive it was, actually.

She often wondered when hers would stop feeling like it had been ripped into a million little pieces, but she was starting to lose faith that it ever would.)

Of course, she should have seen it coming, she knew that. She had, in fact. True to herself, she’d tried to ignore it, but she knew full well that with her coming back home, it would come back.

This painful, sneaky way every little thing seemed to remind her of before - of a life that felt so far away now.

Over the months, the many months since she’d been gone, she’d gotten it almost under control. Everyday life brought its distractions, particularly in a city like New-York: running between brunches and dinners, partying with her cool American friends, writing for a newspaper in the Big Apple, it was easy, forgetting what you wanted to, if only for so long. She was becoming a real life city girl, a full time one, and that was exactly what her busy brain - her treacherous heart - needed.

With time, every sight, every sound, every smell no longer reminded her of home - the place, the person. With time, she’d moved on.

Yes, sometimes - often - she’d wavered, but that was normal: having been close to someone meant that they lived with you forever, she couldn’t help that. At some point, it would just die down enough that she’d just be able to call it the past without her insides hurting.

(She thought it would, with Matt. Maybe not with the others before him, they were just passing through - but with him, she thought it would. She couldn’t really explain how it all made the permanent weight on her chest even heavier instead, somehow.)

But it hadn’t died down yet, and even though it was normal and okay and to be expected, six weeks ago, Erin had booked her tickets, and six weeks ago, she had lost the grip over the carefully built barriers she’d made sure to rise in the meantime for - well, self-preservation, really.

It started small. The song that had played this one special night, resonating through Starbucks as she waited for her drink. That sweatshirt her colleague bought one day that reminded her of another one. That scarf in the store that looked so much like Doctor Who’s.

But then...Then, it was every day, every damn day, just like the beginning - even worse, if she was being honest. Up until yesterday, when she boarded that damn plane.

Up until now, in this stupid airport where she didn’t want to cry.

Arms tightened around her own chest, Erin willed herself not to, even though it was becoming evident that there was no ignoring the memories and the aching now. Even though, just like she feared, it was becoming perfectly clear that there was no escaping anymore, no pretending that she wasn’t the worst person in this Goddamn country, that the worst hadn’t happened.

Even though she could feel the fear mixed with longing and excitement and dread and a million other emotions that had painfully, permanently taken residence in her stomach now that she was home.

(That had taken roots there ever since the day she left, so it did.)

Shite.

Sitting back up, Erin shook herself. No, no, no, no - she could do this.

She’d grown, she’d prepared herself. She’d even planned what to say if...She was ready. Responsable, mature, and ready. And she won’t have to face this alone.

In a few hours, she was going to see the people who raised her. In a couple of days, wee Orla was getting married. She’d come up with excuses after excuses not to come home, even for Christmas - babbling something about being overloaded with work even though it made her heart ache to know she’ll be alone for the holidays for the first time in her life. Even though she knew full well her Ma didn’t buy a single word, very aware of the real reason she was staying away. She didn’t say a single word, though, and Erin was grateful.

No more, though.

For months and months, Erin had found reasons to stay away for the exact reasons that were chipping away at her heart more and more by the second, but now her baby cousin was getting married, and she’d see her family, and they’ll hold her close, and she’ll find a way to bury all the stuff that was so, so much more difficult to ignore now that she was coming home.

Maybe - maybe it will be difficult, but they’ll be here to help her through it. She’ll be there for her family, and they’ll be here for her.

Fighting the urge to reach out for the folded photograph in her wallet (the one that brought so much comfort and so much else she’d rather avoid at the same time, the one she clinged to but pretended she didn’t), Erin just breathed, and moved to change seats.

Everything would be fine, in the end. It will be grand.

Except her family didn’t come.

No one did.

It was eight thirty in the morning, and, her cellphone penibly stuck between her ear and shoulder as she struggled to zip her jacket to protect herself from the freezing cold, Erin tried to swallow her disappointment.

“Aye I’m sorry love, it looks like you’re going to have to get a cab,” her Ma announced before yelling something at her Granda in the distance.

Erin couldn’t help but notice the fact that she didn’t seem that sorry, not at all in fact. “Your Da was going to come get you, but there’s a problem of some kind where the reception is, and he had to take Orla.”

Erin nodded, even though her Ma couldn’t see her. “Yeah, sure. I’ll just - ”

“We’ll give you the money back for the cab when you arrive. Alright, I gotta go love, we’re checking the hair accessories for the big day - see you in a bit.” And with that, she hung up.

Well.

Here went her big welcome home, eh.

Again, it was nothing, though, she reasoned. She was a grown up now, of course she understood that something had come up, and that this all delayed their big reunion from only an hour, tops. So really, there was no reason to get upset.

None.

She wished she wasn’t getting upset.

From what she told her, Clare would be putting together gift bags now, and there was absolutely no doubt that Michelle was still snoring. Pocketing her cell as best as she could, Erin bit the inside of her cheek and started looking for the only plan B she had left, ignoring the burning in her eyes. It really was nothing - she’ll be fine.

It didn’t matter that she took forever to get a cab, for some reason, or that her luggage fell over her foot when they tried to put it in the truck, or that her handbag crashed on the floor and spilled everywhere.

Erin did know she tended to be over dramatic - and yes, maybe borderline crazy, Ma wasn't completely wrong - but she was more mature now, so instead of getting riled up, instead of being crushed by the fact that her family didn’t seem to have missed her as much as she did them, and that the land she grew up on was sending her sign after sign that she wasn’t welcomed back, Erin breathed.

Instead of being violently overwhelmed by memories at every corner of the place she’d grown up in, the place where they met and it all began, she did - she tried to breathe, slowly, carefully, squeezing her scarf in her hand a little too tight.

(That was another thing about your close ones not coming to get you at the airport after you left your country to run away: there wasn’t much to distract you from the memories you were running away from.)

She wouldn’t cry. She was just tired, and being stupid, and she wasn’t coming home with puffy red eyes - no way.

They passed the mall they all used to hang out at, and her throat tightened so much, it felt like the air had left the inside of the car. She saw the movie theater he was always so eager to bring her to in the distance, and a familiar pang of missing shot through her chest. Her heart twisted that particular way when they drove by the hiding spot of their early days, but even though she wondered how she was still holding her tears, she did.

After what felt like an eternity, the car finally pulled up her street, and Erin hadn’t shed one silly tear. She’d done it. She could do it.

By the time she pushed their small barrier and started for the couple of stairs, all Erin wanted was to collapse into bed and black out. Orla and Da wouldn’t be home, Ana would probably still be asleep, and given the day and time, Grandda would have gone for his walk. She’d give a big hug to Ma and Aunt Sarah, pretext a headache, and go lie down.

As she struggled to get her bags through the door while keeping the damn thing open, Erin shouted, cursing herself at how strangled her voice sounded. “I’m home!”

Finally managing to get everything and herself inside, she collapsed on the wall behind her, only now taking in the wallpaper, the coat hangers, the shoes by the entry.

Damn - she was home.

The emotion was so striking, she didn’t quite have the time to stop the tears from welling up in her yes, taken by surprise.

She moved before it all became too much and shrugged off her coat, feeling her insides warm at the familiar surroundings, and yet her heart ache at not having the usual voices that went with it, the faces that she wanted so much to see. She shouted again, but there was still no response.

Ma and aunt Sarah must have had something to do, then. It was fine, she thought as she pushed the living door open. It was, she’d just grab a glass of water and -

“SURPRISE!”

And just like that, Saturday Night started playing from somewhere, overcoming the shouting and the party whistles that had broken the silence so suddenly, Erin had jumped out, her back hitting doorframe behind her. There was colours and and noise and arms waving in every direction, and Erin vaguely realized that she was covered in confetti that matched the balloons and the hats.

Somehow, she noticed that they all had one: Michelle, up on the sofa, Clare, jumping in place at the other side of the room, Orla and the giant teddy bear she was holding. Anna, her pink one stuck on top of her mass of blond hair. Aunt Sarah and Grandda, both holding hands and arboring the same green one. Her Ma, her Da, tears in their eyes, huge grins on their faces, red and yellow ones falling over.

Her brain had stopped functionning, so she couldn't be sure, but Erin thought that her legs were giving out.

Before they did, though, both her parents closed the distance and hugged her close, whispering things she couldn't quite make sense of just yet. Their voices in her ear, their smell surrounding her, Erin broke her promise to herself, and finally let the tears come flooding as she held them back as close as she could.

She was home.

#erin x james #james x erin #jerin #derry girls #fanfiction #mine

23 notes · View notes

hstyleshoney · 4 years ago

Text

flawed - h.s

AU she has a new roommate and he’s not the worst

Wordcount: 13K // slow-burn fluff with a small hint of angst and mutual-ish pining I suppose, strong language, alcohol use, sexual content

AN: This is my little College/Uni AU piece for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration writing fest! And I got carried away. I’ve had the start of this in my drafts for like two years and this challenge kind of just got me motivated to finish it. I’m really happy with some parts of it and some I’m not so sure about...I hate endings... BUT I had really fun writing it and that is all that matters and hopefully someone will enjoy it. I’m just happy I managed to finish it after such a long time. I’d also really really appreciate some feedback on it so please share your thoughts! I don’t have too much experience writing like this so be nice pls haha. ENJOY! <3

“Harry, you left your dirty dishes by the sink... AGAIN! Dunno how many times I have to remind you to clean up after yourself Put it away. Thx. :)”

Y/N took a deep breath to calm herself down and re-read the pink post-it note infront of her. He was going to be the death of her. He really was. Harry was in every other way the perfect roommate, well perfect was perhaps a bit excessive but he wasn’t the worst, except for the fact that he never took care of his stupid dirty dishes. It drove her mad. It took all her willpower to not smash his stupid little kermit the frog teacup into tiny little pieces whenever she saw it.

And yes, maybe it was irrational of her to get so worked up over a few dirty cups when everything else was going so well. But Y/N liked it when things were in order.

In the past two months that she had lived with Harry she had lost count of how many times she had asked him to wash up his used pans, plates and cups. The first time it happened she didn’t really mind. The second time -- also fine. But the third? That was when she started to get a little bit bothered. Because not only was it his dirty dishes from the same day. No. The plate and cup from the day before were still there on the counter as well. That was the first time she asked him to clean up after himself.

It was still fine though.

Y/N just told herself it was because Harry had previously lived in a student accommodation with a bunch of unruly boys and wasn’t used to picking up after himself. It was fine. He’d soon get it.

Only, he didn’t seem to get it.

Because weeks later she still had to remind him to wash up after he was done in the kitchen. It was like what she said to him went in one ear and out the other. It took her another week before she started suspecting he was leaving it out on purpose to irritate her, which well, it worked. It only annoyed her further.

The amount of tea that boy drank was truly worrying. She had been told she drank a lot of tea, but she seemed to have met her match in Harry. At least judging by all the cups he left around the flat. They were everywhere. Literally. She had even found one under the bathroom sink just a couple days ago and she didn’t even bother asking him how it got there. She had simply just left him a post-it note asking him to put it away.

Because she was certainly not going to go around and pick up after him. He was a grown boy and therefore capable of cleaning up after himself. She wasn’t his mother.

It was basic housekeeping.

She ripped the little pink post-it note off the pad and stuck it up on Harry’s bedroom door so he couldn’t possibly miss it. She stared at it for another minute, pleased with herself, before getting her backpack and left to go to her lecture. It was her own way of telling him off; leaving post-it notes for him. A more passive-aggressive approach had always been her preferred strategy, it made her feel slightly less annoying, and anytime she had left him a note in the morning the dirty dishes had magically disappeared when she came home later.

So there was no reason for her to stop leaving them for him.

Apart from that Harry really was the best roommate she could’ve asked for. The best one in the short amount of time she had had to find a new one anyways. Lexi, her very good friend from home and roommate before Harry, had decided to drop out of uni a week before courses were due to start again after summer; leaving her alone with a flat she couldn’t afford on her own. Y/N couldn’t be mad at her though because she knew how unhappy Lexi was in Manchester. She wasn’t enjoying her course and she missed her family. Y/N couldn’t force Lexi to stay just because she didn’t want to find a new roommate. She wasn’t that selfish.

It just wasn’t ideal. Everyone she knew already had a place to live and she was feeling pretty defeated about the whole thing. She liked her flat and didn’t want to give it up. Her parents offered to help her pay rent until she could find someone to live with again but she didn’t want to take her parents money. It didn’t feel right. So when her friend Lucy mentioned that her boyfriend Nate had a friend who needed a place to live she offered the mysterious man Lexi’s old room without a second thought.

Then Harry showed up outside her door two days later with a large suitcase and a couple of moving boxes.

They didn’t really talk all that much their first week of living together. He mostly kept to himself, trying to get settled in and get used to being back at uni after a long summer. All she knew about him at that point was that he was the same age as her and that he was studying music. Something she probably would’ve figured out sooner or later on her own, because every evening she could hear him play his guitar from inside his bedroom. She couldn’t complain though. It was quite soothing actually, and she wanted to tell him that.

But she also didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable knowing she laid awake listening to him play and then stop because he didn’t want her to eavesdrop.

So Y/N never said anything.

Their second week of living together was when she picked up on his annoying habit of leaving the kitchen a mess. It was also that week he offered to make her a cup of tea for the first time and she would never admit it outloud but it was probably the best cup of tea she had ever had.

But since he left his own cups all around the flat she also refused to tell him that.

By the third week they started having dinner together and asked each other about their days. They were slowly getting to know one another and Y/N realised for the first time that she did in fact enjoy Harry’s company. That Sunday they spent the entire evening binge watching the first season of a scandinavian crime drama on netflix and shared a tub of ice cream.

Then they were suddenly in the same group of friends.

Because with Lexi gone Y/N started hanging out with Lucy more and Lucy was dating Nate and Harry was always hanging out with Nate. Which all just led to Tara, Declan and Connor always being around as well. Their flat had, since Harry moved in, turned into the hotspot for the gang to hang out at. She didn’t mind much, because she liked them and she had never really been a part of a group like them before. It was nice. Lexi moving had in a weird way been a blessing in disguise.

So there really wasn’t anything else to complain about when it came to Harry as a roommate.

Well, maybe one more thing.

And she usually met that reason every Sunday morning in their kitchen after a night out.

That Sunday however took a different turn than what she had gotten used to.

“You told me you didn’t have a girlfriend!”

“Harry,“ Y/N said slowly and narrowed her eyes at him. The girl next to them, whose hair was dyed a rich red color, was only clad in one of Harry’s old band t-shirts and stared at the two of them with frantic eyes.

“Y/N, babe, I’m so sorry,” Harry said and stared at Y/N pleadingly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on!?” The red-haired girl demanded and crossed her arms over her chest and Y/N could’ve sworn she did a little stomp. “You told me last night that you were single!”

“Yes Harry, I’d love an explanation,” Y/N said and mimicked the redhead by crossing her arms over her chest. She probably would’ve laughed if the situation had been any different because the stranger in the kitchen was glaring at Harry with such a hatred in her eyes and Y/N had never seen a girl look at him that way before.

And it was still funny, but it would’ve been funnier if she wasn’t a part of it. Harry on the other hand only ignored the angry girl and kept the lie going, focusing on his roommate.

“Love, I’m so fucking sorry. It didn’t mean anything! I swear, I was drunk and-”

“Ugh, oh my god,” the redhead cried out, interrupting him. She was fuming and her face was as red as her hair. Before Y/N had the chance to say anything else, to resolve the situation, the redhead stepped forward and slapped Harry across the face. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

Then she turned around and Y/N’s first instinct was to take a step back because that was how intimidating she looked with her red wild hair and red cheeks. But Y/N, very unexpectedly, found herself being embraced in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry! I swear I had no idea. He told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. You deserve so much better! Leave him.”

And just like that the girl was gone, marching back to Harry’s room to get changed into her own clothes again, and left the two of them alone in the kitchen. Y/N at loss for words and Harry rubbing the side of his face.

It didn’t take very long before the sound of the front door being slammed shut echoed through the flat and made the walls around them shake.

“You’re disgusting,” Y/N muttered then and walked past him to put the kettle on. She had a headache from all the wine she had consumed the previous night and whatever it was that had just happened hadn’t exactly helped her feel any better. She had only wanted a nice cup of tea, and maybe some toast. She had definitely not been prepared, nor expected, to be part of a terrible made-up triangle drama. Not this early.

“Aw, c’mon,” Harry laughed and finally let his face break out into a grin. “I’ve tried to get her to go home all morning but she wouldn’t take any hints. I had no choice.”

Y/N turned her head to glare at him and pointed a warning finger in his direction

“If you bring a girl back you get rid of her yourself. I want no part in your disgusting shenanigans,” she told him. “You deserved that slap.”

“I didn’t even say anything to her,” Harry said and hopped up to take a seat on the counter. “She just assumed.”

“Why would she even assume that?” Y/N asked and eyed him suspiciously “If I was your girlfriend I wouldn’t randomly appear in the kitchen the next morning in my pyjamas. You must’ve told her something.”

“I didn’t,” Harry denied and put his hands up, still grinning. She rolled her eyes. “I swear! She just assumed.”

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t have let her,” she told him and took out two slices of bread to put in the toaster. “Besides, do you have to bring a girl back every weekend?”

“Do you have to go on like five dates a week?”

“I don’t,” she glared at him again. Harry raised his eyebrows at her knowingly and she looked away from him as the next few words left her lips. “It was only three this week.”

“Oh right,” Harry laughed. “Excuse me.”

“Shut up.”

“At least I’m getting something good out of it,” he continued to laugh. “I still don’t understand why you have to go on so many dates all the time. What do you get out of it?”

“I wanna find love,” she shrugged. “Is that so bad?”

“No, not at all,” Harry told her. “But dating douchebags ain’t gonna bring you love.”

“Yeah because sleeping with someone new every weekend is so much better,” she replied sarcastically and watched as Harry slid down from the counter when the kettle made a small noise to let them know it was ready.

“Like I said,” he started with a smirk and took down two tea cups from the cupboard. “At least I get something good out of it. You should try.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t say anything else as her toast popped up from the toaster. Her dating life was a running joke among her friends and she had learned to ignore the comments they made. She wanted to find love, so she wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it. Some may say she was a bit desperate, and maybe she was, but it wasn’t her fault every guy she met was wrong for her. They were all either too clingy or too uncommitted.

Or maybe she was just a bit too picky.

Either way, she did go on a lot of dates when her schedule allowed her to. She wanted what everyone else around her seemed to have. Her parents acted more in love with each other every time she saw them, even after 30 years of marriage. One of her sisters had just gotten engaged to her long-term boyfriend and her oldest sister had been married for three years already and was expecting her second child. Her younger cousin got married that summer. Any time Y/N traveled back home all her relatives asked her when she was going to find herself a nice young man. It was exhausting. Y/N was stressed. Pressured. So she dated a lot. There was nothing wrong with that, yet people liked to mock her for it, especially Harry since he was the one who she came back home to after a bad date.

He’d usually burst into her room after a date, wanting all the details only so he could laugh about everything that had gone wrong. But then he also always made her a cup of tea and got her some biscuits.

He wasn’t the worst.

“Hey,” Harry said and held out the tea he had made for her. “You wanna watch an episode of The Bridge?”

Y/N stared at him for a second and for the first time ever her heart skipped a beat. It was no secret that Harry was unbelievably attractive, the kind of attractiveness that terrified you before you got to know him. If he hadn’t showed up outside her door she never would’ve had the guts to talk to him. After getting to know him though he was just Harry; her roommate.

But there was something about him right there and then, dressed casually in sweats and a plain t-shirt as he handed her a cup of tea in their kitchen, that just got to her. She quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts to stop her mind from wandering too far and took the tea from him. Must be the hangover.

“Sure, but only one episode,” she replied and picked up her plate of toast as well. “I have to read some shit for my seminar tomorrow and I can’t keep procrastinating.”

They ended up watching more than just one episode.

And Y/N never got around to reading the chapter she needed to read. She only skimmed through it on her way to her seminar, which is why she made a fool out of herself when the lecturer pointed straight at her and asked her to share her thoughts. She wanted to disappear.

And her day didn’t get any better when she stepped in dog shit on her way home.

And it certainly didn’t get any better when she accidentally knocked over her cup of tea and spilled it all over the rug. So instead of getting to lie on the couch and feel sorry for herself, like she had planned, she had to try and save the white rug from getting a stain. It wasn’t a great day.

It was also at that moment Harry came back home; when she was sitting on the floor, scrubbing the rug furiously and muttering profanities under her breath.

“You know,” Harry began to make his presence known. “There’s something about what you're doing right now that’s really turning me on.”

Y/N stopped her scrubbing and looked up at him, not impressed by his joke or by the stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh fuck off,” she swore and simply raised her hand and her middle finger at him. “Or make yourself useful and get some baking soda or something.”

“Bad day?” he asked while putting his guitar case down. She only glared at him.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll just get the baking soda.”

“Good choice.”

They cleaned the rug together and after a good half an hour of scrubbing and googling the best tricks to remove tea stains they managed to save it from getting ruined. Y/N slumped down on the couch again, exhausted and defeated, and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

What a shit day.

Harry made her a new cup and put away everything they had used to get rid of the spilled one before joining her on the small couch.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked and squeezed his brows together, uncertain how to approach her.

“I just had a shit day,” she sighed deeply. “Completely fucked up my seminar.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Ha!” Y/N scoffed. “No, I did. But it was my own fault though, so I can't really cry about it.”

“Well,” Harry scratched the back of his head. “Can I do anything to make you feel better? We could get some pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“I can’t,” she grumbled. “I have an assignment I have to finish by Wednesday and considering how shit I did today I have to focus. I can’t fuck this up too.”

“You have to eat something though.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll just heat up some of that leftover pasta later or something,” she assured him and maybe if she hadn’t been so frustrated with herself she wouldn’t have confused the way her heart was racing inside her chest with stress; when in reality it was beating extra for the green eyed boy next to her.

Y/N stayed in her room for the rest of the afternoon into the evening, reading and typing away. She wouldn’t say it was going well, but she didn't want to throw her computer out the window and she always appreciated those rare moments.

She could also hear Harry roaming around in the rest of the flat and later on the low strum of his guitar. She smiled to herself when she heard it and didn’t even realise she was humming along to the melody he was playing until he stopped.

And it wasn’t until her stomach growled loudly that she remembered she hadn’t actually had any dinner yet. She made sure to save her work, hitting ‘save’ an extra time because you could never save a document too many times, before closing her laptop and standing up. Her muscles ached from how long she had been in the same position and she winced a little as she stretched them out.

Then her stomach rumbled and she was once again reminded of how hungry she was. It was nearing 11 pm and she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was not good, and she kind of regretted not accepting Harry’s offer about getting pizza before.

But when she made it into the kitchen there was a pink post-it note on the fridge, only this time she wasn’t the one who put it there.

I got some pizza earlier, saved you a few slices in case you want some instead of that old pasta xx H :)

A warm feeling spread through her body as she read his little note, and she couldn’t help but notice that Harry had a surprisingly neat handwriting. It was cute. Both the handwriting and the message. It put a smile on her face.

While the pizza was being reheated she decided to go find Harry and thank him for the nice gesture. She was just about to knock on his door when she noticed that the TV was still on and she spotted him on the couch.

Asleep.

And it was probably cuter than both his handwriting and the message combined.

His whole body took up the small couch; his legs dangled over the armrest and he had his arms crossed over his chest to make himself smaller. There was a slight frown on his face, presumably from the dream he was having, but it was endearing in a way to still see him so relaxed. He had changed out of the blue jeans he had worn last time she saw him and had on his black shorts and the knitted jumper he always just wore around the flat. He looked comfortable. Homely.

A part of her wanted to run back to her room and get her phone so she could snap a picture of him before he woke up.

But an even bigger part of her stopped her from doing so because it felt inappropriate to take a picture of him sleeping. She wasn’t so sure Harry would appreciate her taking pictures of him without him knowing either. So she refrained.

Then, almost like he could feel her watching him sleep like a total creep, he slowly blinked his eyes open, and honestly... it was probably the cutest thing yet. She blushed as he caught her staring.

“Oh, hey,” he said, his voice low and rough, and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them. “What time is it?”

“Mm it’s about 11.”

“Shit, didn’t realise I fell asleep,” he grumbled and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Did you finish your assignment?”

“Almost,” she told him and smiled softly. “Thanks for the pizza.”

“No worries,” he said and matched her smile.

“Also, I’m sorry for being so cranky before. I was just a bit stressed.”

Harry shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “We’ve all been there.”

Y/N ended up joining him on the couch for a bit after the pizza was done. They didn’t talk much while she ate and Harry flicked through the channels on the TV, before he eventually decided on an old romcom.

When Harry had first shown up outside the flat she had been nervous about living with him. She had only ever lived with girls before, but it had been easier to get along with him than she had first expected. Not that she had heard anything bad about him; Lucy had nothing but nice things to say when she first told her about Nate’s friend who needed a place to live.

She had just assumed it was going to be harder to live with a boy compared to a girl. But Harry made it easy, aside from the dirty dishes and the unknown women in her kitchen Sunday mornings of course, and he was slowly becoming one of her closest friends. While it was terrifying it also felt like the most natural thing. Like he was meant to be in her life.

Which is why she felt so stupid for what happened next.

“They make love seem so easy in these romcoms,” Y/N complained with a huff. “Why don’t I have a gorgeous guy pining after me? I just want someone to have a secret crush on me and then make a big grand gesture. Is that too much to ask?”

“How do you know you don’t?” Harry questioned and she snorted.

“I highly doubt it. Who would that be?”

Harry shrugged.

“Who knows,” he said. “It’s kinda the point of having someone secretly crushing on you, innit?”

“Oh whatever,” she grumbled and Harry laughed. “You have no say in this. I see the way girls stare at you whenever we go out. You probably have a handful of secret admirers. ”

“Are you forgetting the fact that you go on more dates than the rest of us combined?” Harry pointed out and raised his brows at her. “You probably have more admirers than anyone else I know.”

“Not true.”

“So true,” Harry insisted. “You need to stop trying so hard and maybe just let love find you instead.”

“That’s probably the most cliche thing someone has ever told me,” she said and rolled her eyes. “What am I supposed to do then? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs and wait for someone to come knocking on our door and say they love me?”

“No, not at all,” Harry frowned. “I just think that maybe you need to open your eyes and take a step back. Lower your expectations and don’t be so picky. You’re not going to find Prince charming. No one is flawless.”

“You know what? It’s too late to be having this conversation,” she told him and stood up. There was something about what he just said that made her heart sink a little inside her chest. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hey, you okay?” Harry said and caught her wrist to stop her from leaving. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s okay,” she said and swallowed thickly. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” His hand was hot on her skin and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his long fingers and how he traced his thumb across her wrist in small circles.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

He really didn’t. Y/N wasn’t sure why she had suddenly gotten so upset; why she took what he said to heart. It made her feel like a brat almost. She was used to people making fun of her dating life but she didn’t like this.

She didn’t want people to think she was shallow or impossible to please. Especially not Harry.

Because that wasn’t the case. There were plenty of good guys out there and she was far from perfect herself. She had a lot of flaws. Y/N had just never clicked with anyone in the way she wanted to and she wasn’t going to get into a relationship with someone she didn’t feel she connected with one hundred percent.

“Okay,” Harry said with a heavy sigh and let go of her wrist. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.”

Harry still had a frown on his face as he watched her take her plate back into the kitchen and Y/N could feel her pulse racing as she felt his eyes on her. It was awkward and she was embarrassed for how she had just handled everything. It wasn’t even a big deal. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t thought of herself before. Harry was just giving her advice.

So why did she feel so upset?

It was the first time she had ever gotten even the tiniest bit self-conscious about the amount of dates she went on, and as she crawled into bed she couldn’t help but wonder if she felt like this because it was Harry.

It was also the first time she realised she cared a lot about what he thought of her.

She wanted Harry to like her.

Y/N got her period a day later and just like that everything she had felt on Monday made so much sense. Of course. Luckily everything was completely fine between her and Harry the morning after she left him on the couch and they even baked some brownies Tuesday evening because Y/N was craving chocolate, which also made sense when she woke up with stains in her underwear and cramps in her lower region on Wednesday.

Despite that though she had quite a good day. She managed to finish her assignment in time and she didn’t hate it; she was maybe even a little bit pleased with it. She bought herself a new pair of sneakers that were on sale and an eyeshadow palette she had been wanting for a while. Her and Harry got chinese food for dinner before meeting the rest of the gang down at the pub.

Wednesdays meant quiz night and Y/N teamed up with Tara and together they managed to win first prize which gave them £50 to spend at the bar.

Y/N blamed the alcohol for everything that happened after that.

She tripped on her way over to the toilets. She accidentally managed to somehow elbow Connor in the face. She also spilled half a pint of beer all over herself, leaving a huge wet stain on her trousers so it looked like she pissed herself.

But she was still in good spirits.

Until she spotted Harry at the bar with a tall gorgeous girl. Their faces were close and even from the booth she was sitting in she could see his dimples. It left a sour taste in her mouth watching the pair talk and it annoyed her how easily Harry once again had a girl swooning over him. Why was he even off flirting with some random girl when they were all supposed to be there together? And why was he so good at it? And why did he look so good doing it?

Y/N rolled her eyes when the girl giggled and reached out to touch his bicep. Disgusting.

“Hello?” Lucy snapped her fingers in front of Y/N’s face. “You still with us?”

“What?” She tore her eyes away from the scene that was taking place at the bar and turned her attention back to her two friends. “Yeah, of course.” She faked a laugh and took a long sip from her beer. Lucy and Tara shared a look, but they didn’t say anything else about it which she was thankful for.

Mostly because she had no idea how to explain any of it. She glanced over at Harry and the girl again and tried to understand why her chest suddenly felt so tight. It must be the alcohol.

And oh, right, of course, she had her period.

It was her hormones; the only logical explanation.

Satisfied with the answer to her own confusion she threw herself back into the conversation around the table, ignoring the fact that she could still see Harry and the girl in the corner of her eye.

Then Declan showed up at their table with a round of vodka shots for everyone because he knew the bartender and got them for free.

Who was she to say no to free shots?

But she really should’ve.

The strong liquid didn’t sit right with her and instead of giving her a bigger buzz her head felt heavy and her ears were ringing. She also felt a little bit sick; the chinese food she had had with Harry slowly rising in the back of her throat. Taking shots had never really ended well for her but drunk Y/N still always seemed to think it was a fantastic idea.

It was a good thing she didn’t have a lecture or anything the next day, because her hangover was not going to be pretty.

And Y/N didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone before she unexpectedly jumped out of her seat, got her coat and stumbled outside. She needed fresh air and she couldn’t wait.

The second she stepped outside into the cold autumn night she instantly felt better. The nausea from the stuffy pub atmosphere disappeared and she sat down on the curb next to the road and took a few deep breaths.

“Hey there Quiz-Queen, you alright?”

Harry.

She glanced up at him and even though he had called her by the nickname she had jokingly given herself after winning first-prize he was looking down at her with concerned eyes. Her purse hung from his shoulder, she hadn’t even realised she had left it behind, and he had his own long and vibrant plaid coat wrapped around himself; protecting him from the cold.

“Yeah,” she said and took another deep breath. “I just needed some air.”

“Hm,” Harry hummed, relieved she was okay. “Maybe next time let the rest of us know where you’re going and don’t just get up and leave.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all,” Harry assured and shook his head. “Just want to make sure you’re safe. I don’t think that £50 bar tab was the best thing for a lightweight like you.”

“Oiii,” she pouted. “That’s mean. You’re just jealous you didn’t win. How many right answers did you guys get again? 6 out of 20?”

“It’s not about winning, it’s about having fun,” Harry said with a smug smile and a twinkle in his eyes that he only ever got when he thought he was being clever. “And I had fun.”

“Oh give it a rest,” she scoffed but there was still a smile on her face. “You love to win, don’t stand there and pretend to be a good loser when I know how competitive you can get.”

Harry laughed and she felt butterflies come alive inside her stomach as she watched his dimples appear. This time for her and not for some stupid girl at the bar.

“C’mon Silly-girl, let’s get you home,” he said, ignoring her comment about him being a sore loser, and offered his hand to help her up. His fingers were strong around hers and her skin was tingling as she watched her own hand disappear in his.

Once back up on her feet she had to hold onto Harry for a second to stop her head from spinning so much. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol anymore or her hormones... or if it was merely just because of Harry.

It was just easier to blame the alcohol or her period, so that’s what she did.

Harry had an arm around her to support her swaying body as they made their way over to the bus stop, holding her close to him. He smelled like beer and the shampoo she always secretly sniffed when she took a shower. It was something she would never admit out loud, or sober, but she loved the smell of it.

Sometimes she had considered using it on her own hair, it was just so fresh and relaxing, so Harry, but it was also one of those things she wasn’t so sure he would appreciate her doing.

“We should’ve stopped to get some food,” she muttered and slumped back against her seat on the bus. “I’m starving and I’m craving something salty.”

“I can make us something when we get home,” Harry offered.

“Really?” Y/N perked up. ”Could you?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit hungry as well.”

“Oh my gosh, have I ever told you you’re the best roommate?”

“Pretty sure you haven’t,” Harry laughed. "I do, however, have a lot of post-it notes that one could argue suggest the opposite."

“I saw you talking to a girl earlier. She was very pretty.” It slipped out before Y/N had the chance to think twice about it. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now and didn’t get to go home with her.”

Harry didn’t laugh at that but he still had the same twinkle in his eyes as before and a fond smile on his lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said and suddenly his hand was on her knee and he gave it a gentle squeeze; causing her hormones to act up again so her heart skipped a beat. “You’re not the worst person to be stuck with.”

As expected her hangover wasn’t pretty the next day.

She woke up with a raging headache and an upset stomach. After Harry had made them both some food she had been too tired to go wash her make-up off so the girl staring back at her in the bathroom mirror had black mascara smudges all around her eyes and golden glitter eyeshadow smeared across her bloated face. It was a tragedy. She was a tragedy.

However, the thing that made her hangover feel even worse was when she walked into the kitchen and saw the all dirty pans and plates from her and Harry’s late night meal. Pangs of guilt instantly swept through her. Harry was already gone by the time she woke up. He had an early seminar, which she knew he did because he had told her before they met up with the others at the pub, and she felt terrible that she had kept him up half the night only to make her food. He couldn’t have gotten more than two hours of sleep and it filled her up with guilt.

So much guilt she didn’t leave him a post-it note telling him the kitchen was a mess, because that would’ve just been super fucking rude since it was her fault he was even in the kitchen cocking at 3 am in the first place. Instead she washed up and decided to go out and get his favorite snacks as a thank you, and also because she was craving more chocolate and a fizzy drink.

Being hungover while having your period was really not the best combination.

Y/N hid her tousled hair under a beanie and put on a quick layer of foundation in an attempt to cover up her blotchy skin. It didn’t really help her feel much better about her appearance so she decided to put on a scarf as well to disguise herself as much as possible, just in case she’d run into someone she knew on her way to the store. She didn’t want to be recognised. Not today.

But of course Y/N wasn’t that lucky.

She ran into three people from her course, who all stopped her and chit-chatted to her about their seminars and latest assignment, all while she stood there with a basket full of various brands of crisps, drinks and candy feeling and looking like an absolute troll.

And that wasn’t even the worst.

No.

Because naturally it was also the day she bumped into someone, quite literally, in the stairs on her way back up to the flat.

Y/N yelped and accidentally dropped her bag of snacks as she tried to find her balance. A pair of hands caught her by the shoulders before she fell backwards and when she looked up to see who she had crashed into her whole face turned red.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” she apologized with wide eyes, her heart beating fast inside her chest.

“No worries,” the man in front of her said and removed his hands from her shoulders, but she kind of wished he hadn’t because his voice was so deep and smoky her knees weakened as he spoke.

Not to mention he had the most stunning pair of eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep, earthy brown color with perfectly long eyelashes she could only ever dream of. He was utterly breathtaking with his long dark hair, scruffy stubble and nose piercing, that she usually didn’t really like on boys but the stranger in front of her made it work. Oh how he made it work.

And as he leaned down to pick up her bag for her she caught a whiff of his fragrance and her knees were seconds away from giving up all together.

“Thank you,” she managed to croak out as he handed her the bag full of snacks and prayed he hadn’t seen what was in it. She looked pathetic enough as it was and she racked her brain for something else to say but there was nothing. Y/N was left completely gobsmacked by the breathtaking man she had just crashed into. Her cheeks only getting hotter and hotter for every second she stood there like a total idiot just staring at him in awe. “I’m Y/N.”

Y/N wanted nothing more than to just sink through the floor in embarrassment. The stranger, thankfully, reached out and shook her extended hand with an amused smile on his lips.

“Luke.”

Luke let his eyes wander up and down her body, taking in her attire, and she had never felt so unattractive as she did in that moment. Why didn’t she at least take a shower before going out? Fuck.

“Right,” she nodded and reached up to adjust her beanie a little, as if it was going to make her look any better. “So eh... do you live here? I haven’t seen you around before.”

What was she doing?

“I do,” Luke confirmed. “I moved in a couple days ago.”

“Awesome.”

Awesome? Fucking idiot.

She was definitely losing her mind. While she did go on a lot of dates she had not been blessed with the ability to make small talk.

“I’m guessing you live here as well?” Luke asked and ran a hand through his hair to push back a couple of strands from his face. It was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

“Yeah,” Y/N confirmed, her mouth dry, and she licked her lips nervously. “I’m on the top floor... aaand I should really get going. My roommate is waiting for me.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you though. Welcome to the building.” Her heart was still racing. “Again, I’m sorry for crashing into you.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. It was good to meet you too,” Luke told her and gave her a small wink. “See you around.”

And Y/N didn’t know how it happened but a strange cackle escaped her lips as he winked at her and she ran off before she could witness his reaction to it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered to herself all the way up to her and Harry’s flat.

Once she got inside she fell back against the door and tried to catch her breath, from both practically running up five flights of stairs and the encounter she had just had with probably the hottest man alive.

She really was pathetic.

After she got herself together she shrugged off her coat and pulled off her stupid beanie, cursing herself yet again for not taking a shower before going to the store. She could at least have put on a cute outfit. But no. She went out looking like a slob.

And as she sauntered into the flat she realised that Harry was home again, and with him were Nate, Lucy and Connor as well.

“Well if it isn’t the Quiz-Queen herself,” Nate teased when he saw her and bowed his head mockingly from where he was sitting on the couch. “Glad to see that you’re still alive after last night.”

“We have a new neighbour,” Y/N informed them, ignoring Nate and his teasing comments, because the new neighbour was the only thing on her mind. “I crashed into him on my way up. Literally. I made a complete fool out of myself.”

“Nothing new then,” Connor joked.

“Ha-ha,” Y/N said dryly. “For real though, he was the hottest man I’ve ever seen. He was unreal.”

“Really?” It got Lucy’s attention and she perked up from where she was sitting on the couch with Nate. “What did he look like?”

“Like a damn model right off the runway,” Y/N groaned and collapsed in one of the armchairs. “I’m telling you, he was unreal. Eyelashes that went on forever. Tall. Cheekbones that could cut glass and his hair was soooooo shiny. He didn’t have a single flaw. He even made a nose piercing look good and you know how I feel about those.”

“Aw, I wanna see him too,” Lucy pouted. “Did you get his name?”

“Luke.”

“So our serial dater has another date then I’m assuming,” Connor sniggered.

“I wish,” Y/N replied with a sigh. “I could hardly get a word out. I just stood there and stared at him like a creep.”

“You could always go over and ask to borrow a cup of sugar,” Nate suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. “And then just suck him off to return the favor.”

“You’re an idiot,” Y/N said and raised her middle finger towards him. It also earned him a slap on the arm from Lucy as she scolded her boyfriend. Connor laughed and made a comment about how it would be the perfect porn scene.

And it was also in that moment Y/N realised Harry hadn’t said anything since she had joined them. She glanced over at him where he sat in the armchair across from her and frowned. He looked tired and it caused the guilt in her to rise up again. In addition to that it troubled her that he wasn’t saying anything about the new neighbour or joining in on the jokes. He just sat in his seat and kept his eyes glued to the TV and the random show that was airing. “Harry?”

“What?”

There was something about how he spoke and how he turned to look at her that made her feel even worse. His voice was taut and low. His eyes burned right through her. It was far from the Harry she was used to. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but she also didn’t want to do so in front of the others if they hadn’t noticed it themselves.

“Um, I got some snacks if you want some,” Y/N said instead. She wasn’t sure if the others had noticed at all but she didn’t like it. Maybe he was angry with her for making him stay up so late? What if it had made him late for his seminar?

“Thank you,” he replied half-heartedly and turned his attention back to the TV without another word. Confusion filled the room and she met Lucy’s baffled expression for a split second. Okay they had noticed. Fuck. Y/N looked at Harry again and there was so much she wanted to ask him but at the same time she was at a loss for words. It wasn’t like him to be so tense. Not one bit.

She didn’t like it.

On Saturday they were all, once again, out getting drunk. After her hangover on Thursday Y/N had told herself she wasn’t going to drink again that week, but Harry was still being acting weird around her so she was easily persuaded.

Because she needed a drink.

Harry hadn’t really done anything, which was also part of the problem. She hadn’t seen him all Friday or Saturday, not until he turned up for pre-drinks at Connor’s flat. And once he was there he didn’t even look at her or talk to her. It bothered her. A lot. She hadn’t had the chance to ask him what was wrong and nothing was making sense. She tried to remember if she had said something inappropriate to him on Wednesday, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t figure out why he was being off with her.

Which is why, after a couple of drinks, she took the first chance she got to confront him about it.

She spotted him alone at one of the tables inside the club they were at and marched right up, ignoring the people she accidentally bumped into on her way, and plopped herself down on the leather sofa next to him. The beer she was carrying spilled over in her hand as she did but she paid no attention to it and Harry looked at her with questioning eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” Y/N wasted no time. The music was loud around them and she had to lean into him to make sure he heard her, his curls tickled her upper lip from how close she was. Harry only shrugged.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Oh really? Could’ve fooled me,” she said, almost shouting because of the music, and rolled her eyes. “You’re acting strange.”

“Nothing is going on,” Harry repeated and pursed his lips, looking away from her. Y/N tilted her head forward, to force him to look at her again, and waved her hand in front of his face.

“Look at me then,” she cried out in frustration. “Stop ignoring me and tell me what’s going on!”

It wasn’t the best spot for them to be having a conversation. A couple of people from the tables around them looked over curiously and the dim lights and loud music of club made it harder than what she would’ve liked. She had originally planned to talk to him that morning but he had gone out before she even woke up and it was the last sign she needed to know that he was avoiding her. So talking to him at a busy club felt like the only option.

She flinched back as Harry unexpectedly turned to face her, almost knocking his head into hers.

”You know for wanting to find love so badly you’re really fucking blind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N frowned. Harry scoffed.

“You’re so oblivious,” he began. “If you just stopped being so desperate and so obsessed with finding the perfect guy for one damn second then maybe you’d-” Harry stopped himself and pressed his lips together in a thin line as he looked down at the beer in his hands.

“Then what Harry?” she demanded, and didn’t even bother to try calm the anger that was stirring inside her. Harry ignoring her made her feel worse than she ever could’ve imagined. Nothing could’ve prepared her for it. She hated it. “I wouldn’t be so unlovable?”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t,” Harry warned. “You know I would never say that. Don’t be daft.”

“Do I?” she kept challenging him. The alcohol in her bloodstream gave her enough courage to not back down. Even if the loud music made it harder to hear what the other one was saying there was no way she was going to drop it. She needed to know what was going on. She couldn’t go another day with Harry ignoring her; she was too used to having him around for him to just cut her off.

“Yes, you do,” he spat.

“But you think I’m desperate?” she spat back and Y/N wasn’t sure why she was picking a fight with him in the middle of a full packed club, but she was.

Because at least he was talking to her.

“Yeah I do,” Harry admitted and licked his lips. She struggled to breathe a little after that. Her chest felt too tight. “Why are you so set on having the perfect relationship? No couple is perfect.”

“Lucy and Nate are,” she stated, not wanting her facade to falter in front of him. Her throat was dry but her eyes were burning with wet tears because she hated this. She hated it so much.

“No, they’re not,” Harry sneered loudly. “Both of them are far from fucking perfect. Nate is a menace and Lucy is a nutter.”

“Harry, don’t be a dick.”

“What? So just because they’re my friends I’m only allowed see the good in them? I still love both of them and they still love each other even if they’re not perfect,” he insisted. “You know they end up arguing like every night we go out, right? Over something stupid Nate said or some insane shit Lucy did. Do you know how many times Lucy has asked me for advice when it comes to Nate? They’re not perfect.”

“So I’m desperate because I want to find someone who is perfect for me?”

“What if you already have?”

“What?”

The music was still loud around them but suddenly the only thing she could hear was her own beating heart.

And suddenly she became aware of just how close the two of them actually were. Harry’s nose brushed against hers as his mouth carefully, barely, grazed her lips. His breath was hot on her face and oh wow, had his eyelashes always been that long?

Y/N wanted to reach out and touch him, but the way he was looking at her made her unable to move any part of her body. She was frozen; waiting for him to make the next move because she was far too overwhelmed by his presence to do anything herself. He was so close. Too close -- but at the same time not close enough. She wondered if he could hear her heart as well.

“Oi, oi!”

Out of the blue Declan flopped down next to her on the sofa and just like that she was brought back into reality and away from Harry’s green eyes. Declan had two pints of beer with him and grinned at the two of them; clueless to what he had just interrupted. He didn’t come alone though, soon the rest of the gang had gathered around the small table. All so clueless.

Y/N watched as Harry drank what was left of his beer and glared at Declan and the rest while she tried to stop her head from spinning so much. What had just happened?

They were all talking around her but their voices got lost in the loud music and her own thoughts.

‘What if you already have?’ what was that even supposed to mean?

She wanted to turn and look at Harry again but she was too scared of what he might do or say and too scared that everyone else was going to notice something was wrong and ask them about it. Instead she just kept her eyes down to where her thigh was pressing into Harry’s after Declan had squeezed himself down beside them.

Thankfully no one else seemed to pick up on tension between the two of them but Y/N still regretted absolutely everything about her decision to talk to Harry. It hadn’t helped make anything clearer and she was now stuck next to him in a busy club with their drunk friends. Great.

To make things worse she then, out of nowhere, heard someone call her name and she nearly dropped her drink as she noticed who it belonged to. Well fuck.

“Luke.”

His name fell from her lips as soon as she spotted him waving at her. He came up and stood behind Nate and Lucy, with his hands in his pockets and his hair slicked back perfectly. Lucy was quick to turn around to get a look at the guy Y/N had been raving about just a couple days ago. Then she looked at Y/N again with her jaw hanging open and gave her a look that confirmed Luke was indeed as flawless as he had been described.

The tension was thick and awkward as Luke stood before her and her friends, more specifically Harry, and Y/N could feel him tense up beside her as he stared Luke down. She had no idea what to say or do. “This is our new neighbour I was telling you about,” was the only thing she could think of. The smirk on Luke’s face as he heard that she had been talking about him didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y’alright then?” Luke asked and nodded towards Y/N. She couldn’t breathe. How was he there? After everything that had just happened with Harry... where did Luke even come from? She hadn’t processed her conversation with Harry yet, how was she supposed to have a conversation with Luke again, in front of everyone, when her head was so scrambled?

“Yeah, I’m great.” What a fucking lie.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh.” What was happening? “Ummmm, I don’t - well I - ehm I-”

“Yes! She would love a drink!” Tara interrupted her with a big grin, and any other time she would’ve been grateful for her friend stepping in and helping, but now? “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N wasn’t even sure.

“I ehhh - well, I guess so?”

What?

Her whole body was screaming NO when she got up and felt Harry’s warmth leave her side. His eyes burned into her back and it was a miracle she even made it to the bar with Luke without vomiting right there and then.

Two days ago, when she first bumped into Luke, all she wanted was to go on a date with him. But something had changed. Something inside her had clicked, and it wasn’t her hormones or the alcohol this time. All she could think about as Luke talked to her and bought her a new drink was how he wasn’t Harry.

Luke didn’t know how she liked her tea. Luke didn’t know she couldn’t go straight to bed after watching a thriller or anything that resembled a scary movie; she needed to watch something more upbeat and cheerful before going to sleep. Luke didn’t know she liked to keep things in order. Luke didn’t know she ate her weight in chocolate when she got her period. Luke didn’t know she loved mint chocolate chip ice cream. Luke didn’t know she called her mum at least once a day. Luke didn’t know she was desperate to find love.

Harry did.

Harry knew all those things.

And as she stood at the bar with Luke she realised he wasn’t actually flawless. He was still gorgeous, only a little less breathtaking that time around because he knew he looked good and he wasn’t humble about it. He smelled like cigarettes and she hated the smell of smoke mixed with his strong cologne. It gave her a headache. He also couldn’t keep his eyes off her cleavage and didn’t bother asking her anything about herself.

His nose piercing didn’t even look that good.

Luke wasn’t flawless and she didn’t really like him.

Harry wasn’t flawless either... but she still liked him.

“And that’s when we-”

“You know what Luke,” she interrupted and put a finger up to stop him from talking. “I think I have to get back to my friends. But um... “ She glanced at the drink he had bought her before picking it up and downed it in one go, because he had paid for it and the least she could do was drink it. The alcohol burned a little in the back of her throat and she accidentally spilled a few drops down her shirt. She hardly noticed though because she was just aching to get back to her friends. Luke looked at her with wide eyes and a puzzled expression. “Thanks for the drink! I’ll see you around.”

With that she walked off with just one thing, or rather someone, on her mind.

But that someone wasn’t there when she found her friends again. She spotted Lucy and her bright dress sitting on Nate’s lap. She spotted Tara having a conversation with a girl from the table next to them. She spotted Declan and Connor laughing loudly over something on their phones.

She did not spot Harry.

Tara was the first one to notice her standing there just staring at the empty seat where Harry was sat a while ago. Tara excused herself from the conversation she was having and came up to Y/N, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Where is Harry?”

“He left,” Tara told her. “I think.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lucy came up to her as well, with a small frown on her face, worried something had happened. “Is everything alright?”

“I need to talk to Harry,” Y/N said and looked around the club; hoping to spot his curls somewhere in the crowd. Her eyes stung with tears when she couldn’t see him.

“He left after you walked off,” Lucy confirmed softly. “Is everything alright? Did something happen with Luke?”

“Yes- I mean no. I have to go,” was all she told them before she rushed off. “I need Harry.”

Y/N wasn’t aware of the three words that left her mouth but it didn’t make them any less true. It all made so much sense. It had clicked. ‘What if you already have?’

Yes.

How could she have been so blind?

When she finally made it home she was out of breath from running all the way from the bus stop to their flat. She prayed Harry had actually gone home and not continued his night at some other club. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he had.

But as soon as she stepped inside she heard the familiar sound of his guitar coming from his bedroom and she didn’t even bother catching her breath before walking across the flat in a couple of strides. She hadn't really thought anything through. Her whole body was just screaming at her that she needed Harry and it couldn't wait.

Harry left his dirty dishes out. He sometimes forgot to put the toilet seat down. He was disorganized. He did not only leave his dirty dishes out but he could also leave his dirty socks lying around the flat. He didn't like the same music as her. He could be petty and immature. He had ignored her for two days.

But Harry also made her tea when she was having a bad day. He made her laugh. He made her food in middle of the night. He always asked about her day. He helped her home when she got too drunk. He sometimes surprised her with breakfast. He understood her. He made her feel at ease and she could always be herself around him.

All of the good thing outweighed the bad, and the bad was only part of who he was; Harry, her roommate, her friend, the boy who she hadn't realised gave her butterflies until now.

And perhaps she should’ve knocked or at least made her presence known in any other way because as she slung his bedroom door open Harry was visibly startled and a sour note came from his guitar. He looked at her with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What the fuck?”

“Do I have any flaws?” she asked him breathlessly.

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“What about me annoys you?”

“Shouldn’t you be off getting a drink with Mr. Flawess himself.”

“Well I changed my mind. Now just answer the question,” she urged, wanting to cut straight to the chase. Harry frowned and she wasn’t really sure if he was angry with her or just confused. Maybe both? It didn’t matter though, she just needed answers before she passed out from the anxiety running through her. “Do I have any flaws?”

“I - yeah. You do,” he said. Y/N nodded and stepped further into his room, wanting to be closer to him. “Why?”

“Just - wait,” she told him and ignored his question by asking her own. “What are they?”

Harry didn’t reply at first. He just sat in silence and stared at her with his brows still pressed together in a frown. God, what if she had gotten it all wrong? She’d have to give up the flat to Harry and move out, leave Manchester, maybe even leave the UK. She’d be absolutely mortified; she’d never recover from it.

Just as she lost all hope and considered running off to hide in her own bedroom for the rest of the night, possibly for the rest of the term, Harry slowly put his guitar to the side. He rubbed his hand over his chin and pinched the bottom of his lip between his index finger and his thumb, contemplating his next few words cautiously.

“You’re incredibly stubborn,” he told her and despite the fact that he had just basically insulted her a wave relief washed over her as he finally said something.

“Okay, what else?”

“You ask way too many questions during a movie.”

“Okay.”

“You overthink absolutely everything.”

“More.”

“You leave notes around the flat over the most meaningless things.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t leave the kitchen a mess then.”

“You have too much milk in your tea.”

“You don’t have enough.”

Harry cracked a smile but it faltered almost just as quickly.

“You want love but don’t see the person right in front of you who has fallen head over heels for you.”

Y/N had never seen or heard him as vulnerable as he was right there and then. For a moment she wondered if maybe she had misheard him but judging by his nervous fidgeting and how he for the first time ever struggled to look her in the eyes she quickly realised she hadn’t.

“I do now,” she admitted quietly, almost too quiet, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. “I see you.”

Harry still heard her and looked right into her eyes as he took a sharp breath. Her body ached to feel his touch as she stood in the middle of his room, terrified of what she was about to ask next, but there was no going back. It was, after all, the reason she had followed him home. “And you still like me despite all my flaws?”

“Well,” Harry started and fought back a smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t have saved all your notes if I didn't.”

It was really all it took for her to close the space between them and throw herself over him. Harry was quick to catch her and his arms wrapped around her body tightly, holding her close, as she pressed her lips to his.

It was strange kissing him and she didn’t quite know where to put her own hands at first, but it felt right that much she knew. Her whole body was on fire from just a simple little kiss. Y/N never wanted it to stop. Harry grinned against her lips before deepening the kiss and sneaked his hands in under her blazer, pushing it off her shoulders before running his hands over her body.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and it was almost ridiculous how giddy she felt. Harry made her feel drunk, more so than the alcohol in her body. Nothing had ever tasted as good as him. She was completely lost in him and his warmth.

It wasn’t until she felt him pull at her trousers that she was reminded of reality again and she pulled away from his lips. “You okay?” Harry asked immediately.

“Yeah,” she panted and leaned her forehead against his, twirling the hair in the back of his neck around her finger carefully. “I just... I still got my period.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded and tightened his grip on her, still holding her close, and she was sure she could feel his heartbeat against hers. “S’that all? Because frankly I don’t really care about a little blood right now.”

“Oh.”

“Do you?”

“I... no.”

“You sure?” Harry wondered and placed his fingers under her chin and angled her face so he could look into her eyes. He saw right through her and her mind was hazy as her body melted right into his. Harry made her feel safe and comfortable and it was all she needed to know she was sure.

She needed him.

“Give me a second,” she said and gave him a quick peck before getting off him. It pained her to do so but even as she made her way over to the bathroom to remove her tampon, perhaps one of the most unattractive things you could do, Harry’s eyes on her as she walked away made her feel sexier than she ever had before.

She didn’t waste a single second inside the bathroom and quickly did what she had to before she just about ran back to Harry’s bedroom. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh. She looked dazed. But in the best possible way. Her cheeks were rosy. Her hair was messy. Lips swollen. It was the first time she had ever seen herself look so radiant. Glowing almost.

Happy.

She also decided to not put her trousers back on after she was done in the bathroom, because why waste time when she was planning to take them off soon anyway?

And Harry seemed to have had the same idea because when she came back he had already removed his floral shirt and his beige trousers as well. His lips were the same colour as her lipstick and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was staring at her bare legs and underwear. It made her whole body tingle and she didn’t mind him gawking, because she couldn’t take her own eyes away from his naked chest and the bulge between his legs.

“Come here,” Harry murmured and held out his hand for her to take. He gently pulled at her arm until she was sitting on top of him on the bed, straddling his hips. The lack of clothing on both of them made her blush as he embraced her and she felt all of him under her.

Harry cupped one of his hands under her jaw and leaned in to kiss her again. It started out slow but as soon as his lips touched her a soft moan came from her. His lips were slightly chapped and yet they were the best lips she had ever kissed. It didn't matter that they weren’t perfectly soft. Not one bit. Y/N never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.

The kiss quickly deepend and she had her hands in his hair, tugging at his soft curls and getting lost in the taste of his lips. She was throbbing against him and knew he could also feel just how desperately she wanted him through the thin lace of her panties. His lips were eager against hers and she was too lost in him to notice he had blindly reached out to the bedside table and sought out a condom.

It wasn’t until she felt his hand and the small foil packet brush against her leg that she realised. She pulled back and met his green eyes, breathing hard as she tried to find her words to speak. He looked back at her with questioning eyes, silently asking her if she was alright with what was happening between them, and she just nodded.

She sat back to give him some room and watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers and then helped him get them off before he rolled the condom over his length. The sight alone made her light-headed and, if he hadn’t already, she was sure he could hear how hard her heart was beating. He also caught her staring but she didn’t really care and he only pulled her back into him.

He kissed her along her collarbone, sucking lightly at the skin as he made his way up to her neck. Y/N closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. Harry ran his hands up and down her back and then slipped his hands in under the tank top she was wearing before he pulled it off her swiftly.

Harry took a few seconds to stare at her naked chest when he discovered she wasn’t wearing a bra before he kissed each of her breasts lightly, making her nipples hard. Y/N just cupped his face and pulled his head up so she could kiss him again, impatient and desperate to feel him inside her and he giggled against her lips.

Harry only pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side when he lined himself up under her. She gasped as she slowly sank down onto him and had to break their kiss. Harry had one hand around her thigh and the other on the back of her head, her hair twisted between his fingers, as they breathed the same air.

When she eventually started to move her hips after getting used to the stretch of him he groaned softly, low in his throat, and tightened the grip he had on her. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Her blood rushed inside her and her whole chest and face flushed from hearing his words and how hoarse his voice was. She put her hands on his stomach, her fingers digging into his skin around his tattoo, before lifting her hips and taking all of him again; craving the friction created between the two of them.

Harry moaned and let his head fall backwards, breathing heavily, and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his strong jawline. She also couldn’t stop herself from kissing him right there and Harry moaned again as he felt her lips on his skin.

It made her smile; knowing she was having the same affect on him that he had on her.

Y/N did her best to find a steady rhythm riding him but her thighs were trembling around him and it had been awhile since she had been on top of anyone. She had almost forgotten how to do it. Harry bucked his hips up into her and she barely had time to react before he impatiently flipped them over and yanked her underwear off.

A loud moan left her lips as he pushed right back into her and instantly built up a new quicker pace, giving her all of him and hitting the spot in her that made her toes curl. He leaned down and connected their mouths again. His chest was slick with sweat as his body pressed against hers and her hands were all over him because she just couldn’t decide where to put them. She wanted all of him.

And when Harry hoisted himself up and hooked one of her legs over his shoulder to get deeper she didn’t care if any of their neighbours heard her.

“Oh my god.”

Then his fingers were stroking her between her legs and it quite literally took her breath away. Her whole body was trembling as she felt every hot and thick inch of him. Her release was close, she could feel it in the pit of her stomach and he could see it on her as he continued to move above her.

And not once did Harry lose his pace or falter when her nails scratched his back and she clenched tightly around him as her orgasm swept through her body. He kept thrusting into her while she moaned and shivered beneath him.

Just as she came down from her high he got his own release and came with a loud sigh of relief. He continued to move his hips against hers until his muscles gave up from exhaustion and he collapsed on top of her.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both spent, and she tried to catch her breath.

Which was hard seeing as he was still on top of her and she could still feel him inside her.

When he raised his head to look down at her, grinning from ear to ear, her whole stomach fluttered. And this time she knew it was because of Harry. It wasn’t because of alcohol. Not because she had a hangover. Not because she was stressed. Maybe because of a few hormones.

But there were just no excuses.

Eventually Harry got up. He removed the used condom and retrieved a small towel to clean himself up quickly before handing it over and climbing back into bed with her.

Y/N curled up against his chest and let him run his fingers through her hair, gently scratching the top of her head, and she was seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke up.

“I’m sorry for calling you desperate.”

Y/N tilted her head up to look at him.

“S’okay, I have been a little.”

“Still,” he mumbled. “Wasn’t really fair of me.”

“You know you could’ve just told me.”

“I was going to,” Harry admitted with a low chuckle. “But you always came back home announcing you were going on another date so it never really felt like the right time.”

“Hmm, well you didn’t really help yourself by bringing a girl back like every weekend,” she pointed out and laughed lightly. “It was hard to not be blind.”

“Had to try to forget about you somehow,” Harry admitted and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before continuing. “But you and your stupid post-it notes made it hard.”

“Did you really save all of them?” she asked and pushed herself up so she was leaning on her elbows. She couldn’t stop herself from grinning proudly. Harry laughed and tipped his head back, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“God, I’m gonna regret telling you that aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” she laughed again before giving his chest a quick kiss, just because she could. “I do kind of enjoy writing them for you though.”

“Of course you do,” Harry said and peaked out from behind his hands with a cheeky smile. “And I enjoy leaving the kitchen a mess because I know you’ll leave me a new one,” he confessed and tapped her nose.

“I fuckin’ knew it!” she exclaimed with a gasp and shoved him away from her playfully. “You absolute knobhead!”

Harry only laughed and pulled her back into his warm body.

On her way back home from the club Y/N had been a little bit worried that she was wrong or that it was going to be weird to go from roommates to more with Harry -- but it felt like the most natural thing. It felt just as natural as everything else they already did together, and maybe that was why she had been so picky recently. Maybe it was why she looked for flaws in every guy she dated so she had an excuse to not see them again. She had already found what she wanted; she just hadn’t realised. How stupid.

“Hey Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

please let me know your thoughts here ! And please share it if you liked it, it would mean a lot to me! 💛

#Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry Styles fanfic #Harry Styles writing #Harry Styles oneshot #Harry Styles one shot #Harry Styles fluff #Harry Styles smut #Harry Styles #Fallinharry10k

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dancingdeacyy · 4 years ago

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Celebration night

Okay, I finally wrote something and I actually loved how this turned out. It’s fluffy and I love it.

I hope you enjoy it and don’t forget to share it. If you want to be on the tag list let me know.

Oh and don’t forget there’s a prompt list, I’m taking requests so feel free to ask for smn.

(I know I have a couple of requests, I’m trying to work on them but I finishing uni and I’m still quite busy)

After weeks of hard work, the guys finally finished recording and the new album was being well received, I’m extremely proud of them cause I’ve seen how hard they’ve worked and how much effort they put into it.

Chrissie, Brian’s girlfriend, Mary, Freddie’s girlfriend and Veronica, Deacy’s wife, and I, we decided to throw a celebration party for the guys. It wasn’t a big reunion like Freddie’s favourites, but we planned on wearing fancy dresses and a gourmet menu.

My garden was the right place to do it so we decided to decorate it with some fairy lights and roses. I love planning things with the girls because they have great taste and we have so much fun working together.

Besides, the girls were happy doing it to have a special moment with their boyfriends while I just wanted to give my best friend, Roger, a nice relaxing moment, yes, he is my best friend and I love him, as friends, do friends love each other the way I love Roger? Do friends treat each other the way Roger and I do?

The girls always tease me about dating Roger and how cowards we are and I knew the guys tease Roger too cause “He’s not brave enough to accept his feelings and confess them to me” well, I guess our friends know our feelings better than us.

However, the special night has come and the girls and I were so nervous yet so excited. The food looked delicious and a fancy restaurant had nothing on our cooking skills, cocktails were almost ready and the garden was beautifully decorated, the guys were about to arrive, so we decided to go and get ready.

If we were getting fancy food and the garden looked like it was brought out of a Disney movie, we definitely had to look like princesses. Chrissie helped me find a beautiful black dress, it was so smooth and it fitted me perfectly, my makeup was soft and barely visible but it really made me feel different.

We get ready so fast we actually thought about breaking the world record, the girls looked so pretty we almost start crying about how good we felt and how beautiful we are, and I mentally laughed about it cause if I were alone I would never feel this pretty, but the girls made me feel like that and I’m actually simpin for this confident version of me.

The doorbell rang and brought us back from our daydreaming, saying we were scared was an understatement, we were really nervous and not because of how would the boys react cause, let's be honest, we’re wearing fancy dresses and looking like proper goddesses, they’d love it, we just wanted everything to go as we planned.

As soon as we opened the door, Freddie, Brian and John came running to hug their wives while Roger was looking at me shyly.

“Hey” I said softly, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible.

“You look gorgeous” He said, not even a hello, oh well I can’t complain. “Can I hug you?”

What? My legs were shaking and I needed that hug as soon as possible, I only attempted to nod slowly.

He put his firm hands on my waist and brought me close to his body, his scent was so strong I felt I was getting high on it, and I love that feeling.

“You look great Roger” I said, hiding my face on his neck. He really did look good, an opened white shirt revealing his smooth chest and a pair of leather pants and I’ll just say… his butt looked pretty nice.

“Really? I’m just wearing the first thing I saw in my closet.” He said, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

“That’s not true y/n, he spent hours planning his outfit.” Freddie said teasingly while winking. “He said he wanted to impress you.”

Roger was blushing and he let go from the hug.

“Oh it's alright, I hope my dress impresses him too, cause he certainly impressed me.” I said and went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine. “Want some?”

The girls were looking at me with a knowing smirk and the guys were teasing Roger while he was trying to cover up his reddened cheeks.

The rest of the guys looked really nice too, wearing their fancy suits and while a wide smile plastered on their faces.

“Before you start getting drunk, my dear y/n, we had some words prepared for you” Mary started saying, taking the bottle out of my hands.

We had some words prepared? Really?

“Yeah! Our gorgeous y/n prepared them, right?” Veronica looked at me while giggling and I couldn’t be more confused. Did I write a speech and I completely forgot about it? Roger’s giggles brought me back.

“Oh yeah right!” I said, trying to look confident “It’s quite short, though.”

“Oh stop it, y/n!” Freddie said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “Stop being so modest, you give great speeches.”

Yes! Only when I’m extremely drunk.

“Alright boys, we know you’ve worked really hard this last month and we are so proud you’re achieving your dreams.” I started saying, trying to look at each one of them but not being able, my eyes were focused on Roger and how good he looked smiling at me like that. “You are an inspiration and I’ll dare to say, you are our idols, but you are also the loves of our lives… and our best friends.” I quickly added to avoid misunderstandings, but oh how I wish I hadn’t. “You’ve given everything to us, and the least we could do was try to give you something else too, so this is just a small celebration party for you guys.”

Chrissie was pouring the wine on our glasses and we were ready for the toast.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses for Queen!” I said lifting my glass happily.

As soon as the guys lifted it, I looked at Roger who was already smiling at me, I smiled back when he winked at me, oh how much I want to kiss those lips.

“Okay guys, you can get going to the garden, we’ll get the food.” Mary said while pushing Freddie out of the room, the guys followed him but Roger seemed a bit hesitant about going with them.

“Can I have a word with y/n?” He asked shyly, it’s funny how he always seemed so comfortable and confident but when it comes to me he’s so shy and soft.

“Sure Rog, just give us a second while we finish preparing the dishes.” Chrissie said and hurried working on the dish.

My stomach was feeling funny and my legs were shaking, was something wrong? Did I say something inappropriate? My mind was racing. The feeling of Mary’s hand on my shoulder scared me a bit.

“Alright Rog, she’s all yours.” Mary said, grabbing two dishes and going out of the kitchen, the girls followed her but first they winked at me.

I turned to look at Roger, he was already smiling at me. He walked to me, getting closer and closer every time he put his hand on my waist and smiled.

“Hey.” He seemed more confident than a few minutes ago but his voice was still a bit shaky.

“Hey, are you excited?” I asked hoping my voice seemed a bit normal.

“About the dinner or the album?” Geez, he looked so cute when he’s confused, he looked like a puppy.

“Both” I said laughing, I could help but caress his face, my fingers went from his forehead to his cheek and then to his hair. My fingers tangled in it and I could feel his eyes staring at my lips.

“Yeah, mostly about tonight.” He tried to stop looking at my lips, but I saw his tongue poking out of his lips and wetted them. “I wanted to thank you, and tell you how beautiful you look today.”

I could help but blush, his blue eyes were now staring at my eyes.

“Oh it’s nothing, we’re proud and you’ve done so much for us, is the least we can do.” I don’t know where this is going but I’m feeling the famous butterflies.

“Ca- Can I do something else for you?” He said putting his other hand on my cheek and rubbing it with his thumb.

Do you guys know how to breath? Because suddenly I forgot.

I nodded slowly and smiled.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered and I felt his breath so close to my face, his scent filling my nostrils, I put my hand on his neck and smiled.

“Yes, please.”

As soon as I finished talking, Roger lips attacked mine, my body felt numb and my head was spinning, I tangled my fingers on his hair and he hugged me by the waist. My lips were trying to follow his pace, our noses were brushing each other and our chests were so close I’m sure he felt my heart beating out of my chest.

I didn’t want to break the kiss but I was nearly out of breath, my forehead was resting on his and our eyes were still closed, his hands there caressing my back. We were smiling so much our cheeks started to hurt.

“You make me so very happy.” God his voice was so soft and sweet.

“You make me really happy too, Rog” Now our noses were touching each other, his was so soft and pointy, my heart was definitely beating faster now. “Let 's go eat.”

He took my hand and led me to the garden. The guys were focused on their conversation but as soon as Brian saw us he cleared his throat, ending the conversation. They were smiling at us and the guys started whistling when they saw our hands.

Roger opened my chair and I gave him a little kiss on his lips, the girls screamed when they saw it and I started clapping.

We avoided looking at them and started drinking wine, Roger’s hand was now on my thigh tracing circles with his thumb.

“Anything you want to share with us?” Freddie said leaning on the table and placing his head on his hands.

“Well, I just want to say that I hope that kiss means you’re my girlfriend now.” He said, grabbing a piece of food on his fork and leadingit to his mouth, trying to look smooth and charming. “Oh it does, love.” He said and I brought his face close to mine and started kissing him again.

Our friends were cheering in the back and now his lips tasted like wine, I was slowly melting in his arms and I’ve never been happier.

Tag list: @jennyggggrrr

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now-im-a-belieber · 4 years ago

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dinner and diatribes

a/n: Hello! I put it off as long as I could but I just HAD to start writing. So, Here it is, my first BoB fic! Any and all feedback is appreciated.

══════════════════

After graduating and settling into the swing of the life you wanted to live, the universe seemed to actively work against you.

You did not get accepted into the college of your dreams. And the underfunded local university you wasted away at was the bane of your existence. You could barely land a job with all the hours you were required to stick to campus, and only made enough money walking dogs and watering plants to pay for tuition and the occasional new outfit.

When you started to see the light at the end of the tunnel, with a few hundred saved away, and some time opening up to find career opportunities, the chatter about war turned from gossip to gospel.

In fact, you'd made it all the way to the opposite side of a fine mahogany desk for your first full fledged interview when your dreams were promptly crushed. The man meant to interview you rushed in with flustered news he'd only just found out himself. He told you the company was shutting down. All the nation's money was being sorted to aid in the war. The president had called for rationing to start.

The man was near tears when he asked you to leave, replacing a goodbye with a hopeful wish you might be able to come back again one day.

You marched home at a loss. And the worst thing of all, was the fact that you didn't seem to have anyone to talk to about it all.

The best of your friends had moved away one by one, well meaning phone calls only coming from a couple now and again. Some weekends you managed a stroll through the park with Janice Dean. And you hadn't missed a single one of Rudy Delacroix's card parties. But the one friend you'd always been able to call upon seemed ever less interested in being a part of your life.

Joe was busy as everyone else, you knew. But when he started canceling long standing plans, and forcing smiles when you skipped up to ask him on a last minute adventure, you realized something must have been very wrong.

Over breakfast you'd prod him for answers. He'd joke about the state of the world and steal what was left on your plate. So, nothing could have been too wrong. Right?

Joe always entertained your random stops by, and offered you drinks and listened to you complain about uni. He’d curse the place and drag you to pubs and sneak you into films and waste hours by the waterfront laughing about nothing with you. He’d go great lengths to help you forget your dreary days, even if just for a moment. But lately you noticed Joe had stopped trading his own complaints- the kind he claimedvno one else would tolerate hearing besides you.

And then… he stopped talking at all. Right when you figured it was time to ask what the hell the matter was. Joe wasn't at his place last you swung by, like you so often did. He didn't come around yours like he so often managed. He didn't answer his phone when you rang, and a real worry sprouted through you when the next time you tried, the line went dead.

And then you did see Joe. At the local grocer. You spotted his profile across the aisle and moved to meet him. And he clearly saw you too. When he did, he moved the other way, and disappeared from the stall all together, leaving you to panic over what you might've said or done to upset him so.

You went about your mundane week with a heavy heart. While you seemed to lose hope in the very near future, the world spiralled out of control outside of your windows. And you had no one to talk to about it. Until Joe's mother called.

"Come round for dinner, won't you love?"

"Of course, ma." You'd been calling the woman by her motherly title since you and Joe first fused at the hip some odd years back. Since then his family had included you in most every occasion they could manage. Until a certain someone up and broke tradition a week or so ago...

"Great! Joe didn't want a big send off but we all know he'll want you to join in the last big family meal before he goes.”

His mother chirped through a sigh that crackled from the other line. And in her all too casual remark lied a clear answer to the impasse you'd been facing.

"He what?" You asked low, through your teeth, with a sense of urgency you'd never felt in life, till now.

"He didn't tell you did he?" Joe's mother seemed to ask less more than she seemed to realize; and before you could think up the right thing to say, you slammed the phone down, grabbed your purse, and flew out the door.

Of course this was happening. How had you failed to realize? You shouldn't have had to realize. Joe should have told you he was shipping out. Everyone seemed to be. But he should have said so. He'd always told you everything. From the embarrassing to the inconsequential, Joe hadn't held back from droning deadly details to you since he'd started. The fact that something this detrimental had been hidden away sent smoke from your ears as you marched toward his family's home.

The windows across the little brick cottage were all opened, the late day breeze blowing you up the porch steps. You traded knocking for bursting in the door. There wasn't time left to waste. And the realization hit you all at once… but you had a mission to complete before becoming all too overwhelmed.

Joe's mother ducked out of way, a tray of warm food in hand. She did not try and stop your storm through the kitchen. The only one you’d taken by surprise was Joe, who turned from the sink with eyes as wide as empty dinner plates.

"You didn't tell me?" You seethed, heading straight for him. Joe started to back away, moving toward the patio doors with his hands held in a pitiful defense.

"I'm sorry-"

"Sorry?!"

He kept moving. So you marched after him, out into the yard; shouting all the way asking how the hell he could've kept this from you. How you were supposed to cope with all the worry you’d feel the longer he spent storming the front lines. Asking, flippantly, if he’d tell you what it was all like, or if you’d have to find out from a soldier who'd come knocking to tell the last of Joe’s news.

"I said I'm fuckin' sorry." Joe boomed, stopping near the trees that lined his family's property. You didn’t regret your frantic interrogation but you wished voicing your worst fears of losing him for good hadn’t been what finally got Joe to say something like he meant it.

You halted when he did, stunned to silence. But only for a beat. You watched Joe sigh and bring his hands to his face.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" You pressed, much quieter but with disappointment ever present in your tone. You stepped a little closer, willing your friend to speak up. At least now you could see he was trying too. Joe tossed his head back, and shifted his weight to lean against a dying tree.

"I don't know." He shrugged finally. It wasn't what you wanted to hear, but it was more than you had in awhile.

"I-I guess I didn't know how to." Joe spoke in a tone you'd never quite heard him use before. A terribly hopeless croak.

"Didn't know how to tell me?" You had to laugh a little. All you ever did was tell each other things.

"Didn't know how to leave you." Joe pointed, like it was obvious. You watched his jaw clench as you were baffled into silence once more. But only for a second.

"Well it seems like you've only got one night left to figure out how." You wanted to cry. "Thanks for wasting all the time we could've spent figuring it out together."

You started to turn, only to hide the tears stinging your eyes. But as you stepped aside, Joe wrapped his hand around your wrist and yanked you to face him again.

"I'm an idiot but I am not stupid enough to let you go." He said, still keeping his hold on you.

"I panicked." Joe admitted, speaking softly all of sudden. "And I’m sorry. And I don't ever want anything like that to ever happen again. I won't let it."

You studied Joe and the look on his face and the way his eyes searched yours so easily, so acutely. Part of you wanted to keep shouting, to really drive home how abandoned you’d felt. But you could see how he'd withered under the weight of knowing so. But you couldn't even begin talking about what was meant to happen next... it was all too overwhelming. For as long as you could remember, you'd never not been near one another.

"I wished I never had to find out how shitty a day without you felt. I'll always regret bringing it on.

As your mind raced and your heart ached, your brow furrowed when Joe started to move away from you. His spare hand latched onto your other wrist. And he knelt.

"I didn't mean to leave you out. I never want to again." Joe emphasized each word as he strung them together. And after a long pause he spoke again. "So...marry me?"

You wanted to laugh. A good hearty nausea inducing laugh. You could admit to yourself that over the years, in the very depths of solitude, you'd secretly wished for a moment like this, with Joe. But never in a zillion years, least of all now, had you seen it coming.

You felt Joe's grip tighten as you blinked, bending ever so slightly closer to meet his eye.

"You're fucking crazy." You said, a montage of this week playing through your head.

"Please." Joe desperately whispered. He wasn't begging you to be with him. He was only hoping that the two of you might make your always being together official. How could you say no?

"Yeah. Yes, of course, Joe-" You finally let a small chuckle escape as your tears started to bubble over. And before you'd finished stammering acceptance, Joe sprung to his feet and lifted yours off the ground in a long overdue embrace.

He set you down and caught his breath and you started to lean in with a new, unabashed desire to press yours lips to his. But the guy spoke up with a gasped realization.

"Oh, I have got some good news." He grinned, mischievously. You only rose a brow and waited for the penny to drop.

"I don't leave for a week."

You understood every possibility that came from his news, and found despite every grim reality closing in around the two of you that the future was full of blindingly bright silver linings.

Joe lifted you off the ground again, this time as he moved to start back inside. You bargained for him to put you back down, as he carried you toward the kitchen.

"We're getting married!" Joe called to whoever might've been around to listen.

"That was quick. And just in time for dinner." His mother chirped, as you were returned to solid ground.

"Quick? I've been tryin' to do that since sometime after highschool." Joe pointed, following as you sauntered further in the room, smoothing your clothes and hiding a blush.

"I meant the two of you have spatted longer over the color of the sky." His mother held a whisk your way, while fixing her eyes on her son. "I'm glad you worked this one out in record time."

Joe reached for your hand as you stood, listening best you could, all of your senses entirely preoccupied by the man at your side.

"And have you finally come to this joyous conclusion?" His mother softened, abandoning her dishes to shuffle toward the two of you. She gave out hugs and squeaks of excitement and gasped before taking off around the corner. She beckoned the two of you to follow her, and after a shared chuckle you did.

His mother was stood at the vanity in her room, waving the pair of you in. And after only a second of pilfering through draws, did she pull out a ring. She gave it to Joe and said it was his grandmothers. The spritely woman shot you a beaming wink before creeping out of the door she'd only just invited you into.

Then it was just you and Joe. Like usual. At fucking last.

He said nothing as he reached out to pull you nearer. He bit back a smile as he slid the diamond on your finger. Joe broke your admiration of the thing by placing both his hands on either side of your face. And he kissed you like you always dreamed of being kissed. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back like you always secretly longed to do.

You spent the rest of that night squished between him and his family at the dinner table, like usual. They celebrated your news. And there was very little talk of where Joe was headed. But when he brought up the war and his leaving, he held your hand under the table and you felt the hug of the gold band around your finger and couldn't find reason to worry too much. You’d have time enough for that later. You'd miss him. You already did, a little.

But you'd gotten through the worst yet, and come out of it hand in hand. But before he left, till heaven only knew when, you’d officially and always be together.

#joe liebgott imagine #joe liebgott x reader #joe liebgott #band of brothers

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12tardis · 4 years ago

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Love Language. (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Warnings: brief mentions of bullying Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader

Summary: Newt notices your love for sunflowers during your early years at Hogwarts and he’ll do anything to see you smile. Tooth-rotting fluff and some jealous, pining and protective Newt.

Authors note: This random idea popped into my head when I should have been doing my uni readings. I hope you like it! Please send me any ideas/requests that you have. I NEED inspo.

Words: 5,272

Newt had been hopelessly in love with you since second year and one of his favourite things that never failed to set his heart aflutter was watching you in Herbology lessons. You were always so excited and happy when you would listen to Professor Robson talk about all the different magical plants. This lesson was no different in that respect, you were still eagerly hanging off the Professors words, but Newt kept catching you glancing at the sunflowers that had recently been planted by the Greenhouse.

He’d seen you admiring the flowers from afar for the last couple of weeks actually, since the very day they’d bloomed and he savoured the look of awe on your face and the small imperceptible smile you would wear every time you saw them. You were walking across the grounds together, headed for Potions class and Newt saw the way your eyes drifted back to the flowers as he told you about the most recent shenanigans in the Scamander household.

Of course, you would be most enthralled by a simple muggle flower instead of all the stunning magical flowers the castle had to offer. He was pretty certain they had only planted said flowers for the nurses to use in the medical ward.

The flowers didn’t cross his mind again until he walked into the Hufflepuff common room several weeks later. He smiled when he saw you sat in your favourite spot, curled up underneath a canopy of hanging plants. “Hey! I didn’t see you at lunch. Have you been hiding?”, he grinned at you, flopping down beside you and nudging you. Newt knew something was bothering you immediately when he noticed the way you flinched slightly at his presence and glanced at him, barely meeting his eye before you quickly looked back at your book. “Oh hey, Newt. How was your day?” you murmured quietly, and Newt then noticed the dark circles under your eyes.

The way you had shied away from him must have been what he looked like to everyone else, including you when you had first met. He had initially been skittish around you but you had quickly broken down his barriers and were now the only person, other than his family that he could maintain eye contact with without becoming a nervous wreck. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”, Newt asked as he gently touched your arm, looking at you in concern. You tensed in response and considered lying to him briefly, but Newt knew you too well and there was no real reason for you to lie to your best friend.

Newt saw you hesitating, so he sunk down in the chair beside you a bit awkwardly, in an attempt to get you to meet his eye. “It’s...it’s nothing. It’s stupid,” you muttered, looking back at him and letting out a sigh when you saw he was looking at you with nothing but patience and concern in his eyes. Newt was the kindest person you’d ever met and you knew he would never judge you or ridicule you for your feelings. “I just couldn’t sleep last night because...because-I-kept-having-nightmares-about-the-night-my-mother-died”, you said in a rush but you knew Newt had heard you clear as day judging from the breath he let out in response.

You stared down at your lap blankly and let out noise of surprise when Newt suddenly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him after a minute or two. And if he noticed a few tears spill from your eyes he didn’t say a thing. “Anything that upsets you isn’t stupid, Y/N. Your feelings matter. You taught me that. You don’t ever have to suffer alone because you have me and I’m always here for you.” Newt said firmly as he focused all his energy on making you feel safe and cared for.

He stayed by your side all evening, only leaving momentarily to fetch you both some dinner before he returned to your side, keeping you company. His side was pressed against yours when you were both curled up by the fire and he would be lying if he said he didn’t cherish the contact. You perked up a little as the hours wore on, but he could see you were still a little crestfallen and scared to sleep when you headed off to bed that evening.

Newt watched on with a small smile of pride the next day when he saw the way your eyes lit up at the sight of the single sunflower that was sat against the tree where the two of you had decided to sit and study. You clutched the flower in your hands and smiled back at Newt and he merely raised his eyebrows with a hum. “What an odd thing to leave behind,” he murmured as he sat down, leaning against the tree and thinking the scolding he’d received from Professor Robson that morning when she’d caught him cutting the flower was well worth it just to see you smile again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Almost exactly three years later when you were both sixth years Newt was feeling rather bitter and sorry for himself as he watched the one and only Gryffindor seeker Zachary Lindensbaum bragging to his friends about the hot date he had upcoming that weekend with none other than you, the love of his life.

Newt had been sat right beside you the day before at breakfast as you opened the letter from Zachary of his hideous hasty scrawl asking you if you would accompany him on a date to Hogsmead. Newt had nearly scoffed when he saw the handwriting, rolling his eyes because he would never write you something so careless but his thoughts were interrupted when he saw the deep blush that suddenly covered your cheeks and Newt could have sworn he felt his heart give out.

He watched you as you flipped your hair over your shoulder and glanced back at the Gryffindor boy in question, smiling bashfully at him with a small wave and he honestly thought he was going to throw up his half-eaten breakfast.

She can’t possibly like a guy like that

She is so far out of his league it’s ridiculous

Newt balled his hands into fists and all he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears when Zachary was suddenly at your side, shoving himself between yourself and Newt, already trying to charm your pants off. Newt excused himself from the hall quickly, not looking back at you as he fled the room, knowing he needed to remove himself from the situation before he did something to upset you.

Is this what heart break feels like?

He avoided you the next few days because it made his chest physically hurt to see you. Avoiding you was easy enough since Zachary seemed to be plastered at your side now, even at break times which had always traditionally been your time together.

Newt had never considered himself a jealous person before. Protective yes, he’d learnt about that particular characteristic the first time he’d seen you cry but the hot coil of jealousy that grew in the pit of his stomach at seeing Zachary push a strand of your hair back from your face was a foreign feeling to him. He suddenly found himself thinking violent thoughts for the first time in his life and oh what he would give to punch Zachary in the mouth right now.

His jaw was hurting from how hard he’d been grinding his teeth in the great hall that morning when he saw Zachary gift you with a single red rose. Newt couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the cocky smirk the boy wore as he presented you the flower and he felt the briefest sense of glee when he saw your fake smile in response. What an idiot. You hated roses. They didn’t suit your vibrant and warm personality at all. Newt turned away and got to his feet after he saw a more genuine smile pass over your face and he suddenly felt that sickening ugly sensation return to his stomach.

And if Newt hadn’t been so focused on fleeing from you like a shy first year all over again he would have noticed the uncomfortable expression you wore each time Zachary cornered you or the way your eyes immediately flew to him when he came into the room. He would have seen the hurt expression you wore every time Newt turned away from you. You didn’t like Zachary’s touch. It felt wrong and it felt invasive and not at all like Newt’s comforting touch.

It was the day you were due to go on the dreaded date and Newt was sulking in the library, hissing back at Pickett who was lecturing him for not being honest with you about his feelings. He hadn’t spoken to you in 5 days now and it was making him truly miserable. He knew he was being melodramatic, but he swore he would never be warm again if he didn’t hear your laughter again soon.

You were so beautiful and carefree when you were laughing at one of his terrible jokes. He could hardly breathe when you would look at him with that twinkle in your eyes and you would grip him close like he was the only person in the world that mattered. What he would give to go back in time and tell you just ho-

Newt was broken out of his daydreaming with a yelp when Pickett scratched him lightly behind his ear to grab his attention and it only took him a few seconds to pick up on the whispered conversation occurring between some girls from your Potions class.

“Did you hear about Zachary and Lindsay getting back together?”

“But I thought he was going out with Y/N today? He hasn’t shut up about it all week”

“No, he went right up to Y/N this morning and told her it was all a prank. In front of EVERYONE. Apparently, his friends set him up to it.”

Newt had heard enough and quickly slammed his text book shut, practically sprinting from the library as he headed towards the one place he knew you would be at this time of day but he was momentarily distracted when the sunflowers by the greenhouses caught his eye and he saw Professor Robson crouched down , re-potting a bunch of her plants.

“Professor Robson!”, he half shouted, cringing in apology when the teacher dropped one of the plants in response and turned around to glare at Newt accusingly. “Sorry I...Can I trouble you for one of the sunflowers? In a pot maybe? You see my friend is having a bad day and I would really like to cheer her up”.

The Professor stood up as she looked at Newt curiously and dusted her hands off on her apron, grabbing one of the terracotta pots. “This friend doesn’t happen to be Miss Y/N does it?”, she hummed, grabbing a small shovel and passing it to Newt who gaped are her in response to which she only laughed.

“You think I haven’t noticed her fondness for my sunflowers or your fondness for her?”, she teased. Newt blushed darkly in response and Professor Robson only laughed again before she set to work, instructing Newt on how to dig up the flower and the root ball, helping him quickly pot it up but having him do most of the work. “Very well then. You best hurry, Mr Scamander. I don’t want my best student being miserable before her exam.”

Newt quickly thanked her before he ran off in the direction of where he knew you were, leaping up the steps to your hiding place and carefully setting the potted flower down behind you when he saw you hugging your knees to your chest and sniffling quietly as you rocked back and forth slightly. He thought to himself for a moment before he settled down behind you.

“Y/N,” he called out quietly so as not to startle you as he gently wrapped his arms around you from behind. He let out a breath of relief when you relaxed back against him, a fresh flood of tears coming on as you sniffled loudly “N-Newt!”

Newt hummed as he slipped his arms around your middle, hugging you close and gradually adjusting to the feel of you against him, having not held you in his arms like this since 4th year when some girls had been bullying you (read here). “Shhh shhh, I’ve got you. He’s an absolute idiot for ruining his chances with someone as incredible as you”, he murmured as he hooked his chin over your shoulder.

You sniffled as you shook your head in response, wiping your eyes “I don’t give a rats about him, I’ve just never been so humiliated before!” you said only crying more at the memory, closing your eyes tightly. “Everyone was watching and so many people were laughing at me. I wasn’t even going to go out with the idiot, but he wouldn’t let me get a word in all week and now he has the audacity to humiliate me in front of the entire school! I can never show my face again! Everyone thinks I’m a joke. Just the weirdo girl that nobody wants to date.”

Newt listened to you carefully, his mouth dropping open when you said you didn’t want to date Zachary after all, but you were still rambling on before he could respond. “And you keep avoiding me I was scared you didn’t want to be my friend anymore! What did I do, Newt? You’re my best friend I can’t bear you hating me. I’m s-sorry for whatever I did”.

Newt noticed you were starting to tremble a bit against him as you were growing hysterical. “Y/N, Y/N,” he murmured quickly, gently stroking your hair back in an attempt to get you to look at him and grimacing when you only seemed to be escalating “Y/N stop! You did nothing wrong. I was being selfish. I was upset that you might want to date someone as awful as Zachary and I was selfish and I’m sorry. I could never ever hate you” he said, brushing your tears away softly and then taking your hands from where you had them bunched up in your robes. “And while you may have felt embarrassed I’m certain everyone else must have been sitting there thinking about what an ass Zachary made of himself and anyone who did laugh is not worth your time anyway.” He said slowly and clearly, making sure you were listening to him properly.

“He is an absolutely vile numbskull”, he continued “and you are incredible and stunning, and any guy will be lucky to date you. More than lucky to date you because no one will be truly worthy of someone as clever, kind-hearted, loyal and... beautiful as you.” Newt trailed off, setting his own nerves aside in favour of calming you down.

He hummed and squeezed your hands when you had settled down a while later, gently uncurling one of his arms from around you and then awkwardly reaching back behind himself until he could grab the sunflower, carefully reaching around you again and setting it in front of you “I dug this up for you to cheer you up.”

You gasped in response and let go of Newt’s hands, quickly snatching the pot plant up and holding it to your chest with a wide smile. Newt immediately missed your warmth against him, but he could only smile when he saw your reaction and watched the way you stared at the flower with pure unbridled happiness, your hurt seemingly washed away as simply as that.

“Newt this is my favourite flower how did you know? How did you get this?”, you asked, turning around to face him still clutching the flowerpot tightly against yourself. Good god you were adorable.

Newt smiled and scratched the back of his neck, willing himself not to blush and give away his feelings “I-well I noticed you always stare at them in Herbology classes and Professor Robson helped me. Well I did the work, but she told me how to dig it up.” He murmured and you then spotted the soil that covered his hands.

You set the pot down again beside you before you quickly flung your arms around Newt’s neck, settling in his lap without a thought and pressing a firm kiss to his cheek “thank you so much!” You breathed, oblivious to the deep blush that filled his cheeks at the kiss and the way you had settled in his lap. “Newton Scamander you are too good for this world,” you murmured into his shoulder.

Newt smiled as he slowly wrapped his arms around you in response, carefully settling back against the wall as he held you close not quite believing that you were really there sitting in his lap, snuggled with your face pressed into his shoulder. He was too shy to respond and tell you that you were his world.

Newt watched on with a smug smile a week later when Zachary Lindensbaum walked into the great hall sporting a bright purple head of hair, staring down at his feet in humiliation as the students started to laugh at him. You looked over at Zachary with your jaw agape and then stared at Newt in shock when you noticed his shoulders shaking with laughter. “Did you do that?”, you whispered leaning into him as you watched Zachary grab some food before storming out of the hall.

Newt shrugged and smiled innocently at you before he reached over and squeezed your hand “no one upsets you and gets away with it...plus I quite like the purple don’t you?”, he smiled, pulling his hand back when you only continued to stare at him. “Oh come on it will only last a week. Maybe two at most” he murmured, pouting at you.

A couple more moments passed before you let out a sudden loud peel of laughter, leaning into Newts shoulder as you snorted, slapping your hand against his knee and he could have sworn he’d fallen for you all over again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Several years later you and Newt had only been dating for a few months when he found you a little downhearted in your apartment one evening because of a failed job interview. Newt smiled when he spotted you curled up on the couch, hugging one of the cushions to your chest with a slight pout on your lips.

“Oh love, you don’t even know how it went yet, don’t look so down.” Newt said softly as he walked over to you and crouched down beside the couch, stroking your hair back. You sighed, closing your eyes as you leant into his touch slightly still not tired of his loving touches. “It went terribly though. I couldn’t remember a single useful point. He thinks I’m a fool.” you muttered, still not opening your eyes.

You sat up quickly a second later, feeling guilty for moping around when you had both agreed to put work matters aside for the evening and just enjoy each other’s company. You pressed a gentle kiss to Newt’s temple when he too got to his feet, smiling apologetically up at him. “Let me just go and shower and freshen up and then I’ll get started on dinner”, you said, squeezing his arm before you disappeared into the bathroom in your shared apartment.

Newt smiled after you and shook his head as he suddenly realised how to cheer you up. He grabbed his coat and slipped it on before he walked out of the apartment and apparated to the nearby markets where he quickly grabbed some supplies to make your favourite meal, stopping in at your favourite florist before he apparated back to the apartment all before you finished in the shower.

He set to work preparing dinner after he had carefully set the dozen sunflowers into the finest vase he had and set it in the middle of the dining table in the other room. You frowned at him when you entered the kitchen a short while later “Oh Newt you shouldn’t have. I promised I’d cook tonight”, you murmured though you were incredibly touched when you recognised him plating up all your favourite foods.

You went to go and set the table, already feeling much better from Newts thoughtfulness and you paused when you saw the sunflowers adorning the table. Your face instantly broke out into wide smile as you walked over to the flowers, lightly touching them as you admired them. Reminiscing over all the other times Newt had surprised you with the same flowers.

You startled slightly when you felt Newt’s arms wrapping around you from behind, his hands settling over your waist as he pressed a series of feather light kisses to your jaw. “You always know how to make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world”, you breathed, tipping your head back against his shoulder and sucking in a breath when he began pressing kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck instead.

“I will always do everything in my power to make you smile,” Newt whispered into your ear, kissing down from your ear and stopping at your collar bone “because you are my everything and seeing you smile does things to my heart.”

You twirled around in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck lazily and gazing into his eyes with a soft smile before you leant up on your toes and kissed him deeply. You slowly pulled back from the kiss as you gently toyed with his hair at the base of his neck, smiling teasingly as you pressed your body flush against his “dinner can wait don’t you think?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

About a year after your wedding you were waddling through the apartment heavily pregnant with your first child, searching for your husband which lead you towards his case.

You were surprised when you were actually able to open the case since Newt had put a locking charm on it months ago when you first began showing. You had had many arguments since then over the fact that Newt would no longer let you into his case to see your creatures but he just never seemed to budge. This was very out of character for him since Newt had always previously crumbled at your pleading. Usually all it would take was one look and a carefully timed bat of your eyelashes and Newt would cave like putty in your hands.

“Newt, I’m pregnant I’m NOT fatally wounded!”

“Y/N, I know that and that is precisely why I can’t let you back into the case until after the little one is born!”

“The creatures would never hurt me or the baby! They never have before. You’re being ridiculous! I just want to see my babies.”

“Y/N,I am not discussing this further, it’s a no and that’s final. No! Don’t you dare make the puppy dog eyes at me they won’t work this time!” He said firmly, crossing his arms as he squared his shoulders and stared back at you with an expression you’d never seen directed at you before.

You huffed and stormed away from Newt, sitting down on your bed and sighing loudly. Your love and adoration for your husband had never wavered, even after years of being with him but his stubbornness was doing your head in right now! You understood he was protective of you and the baby, but you weren’t used to seeing him so firm with you and in your very hormonal state it was all the more frustrating.

Now months later he still hadn’t shown any inkling of relenting in his over-protective ways, in fact he seemed to be hovering around you even more lately like you were going to break any given moment. He’d been basically following you around like a lost dog all morning, stepping in to do things for you that he decided were too taxing on your body and as much as you liked to pretend that it irritated you, you secretly found it rather adorable.

So now when you were able to open the case you couldn’t help but do a little victory dance before you went to step inside the case. You rolled your eyes in annoyance when Newt suddenly appeared from inside the case. “Uh uh uh”, he reprimanded as he waggled his finger at you and you frowned at him ready to put up a fight, raising your eyebrows when he held his hand out to you.

“I’m not just going to let my very pregnant wife try to navigate the staircase she has slipped on more times than I can remember on her own now am I?” he said before he smiled lovingly at you and lead you down into the case, taking the utmost care while you just stared at him like he had grown two heads.

“The creatures aren’t really the reason why I wouldn’t let you come down here. They love you far too much and they’ve always been exceptionally careful with you because they know there’d be hell to pay if they ever did harm you”, he explained, squeezing your hand as the creatures all rushed over to greet you.

The Niffler climbed up onto you and nuzzled at you happily while the rest of the creatures followed suit, nuzzling into you too. You blinked back tears as you pet all the creatures happily, having not realised just how much you had missed them all. You looked back at Newt with a frown “then why?”

Newt took a moment to admire you, standing there with one hand cradling your stomach and the other petting the creatures who were loving on you. It was a vision he never wanted to forget as he was reminded of all the years he’d spent pining over you and now here you were, your stomach round with his baby as you embraced his creatures.

Newt was shaken out of his musings when you repeated your question and he smiled again, making his way through the crowd of creatures and taking your hand “patience my love, I’m getting to it.” He teased, looping his arm with your own and guiding you through the case at a leisurely pace, taking his time because it amused him to see the mixture of impatience and confusion on your face.

You tipped your head aside curiously when you recognised that he was leading you towards the greenhouse and field he’d made for you the previous year, choking oh your own breath when you saw the new field he’d obviously planted, filled with rows upon rows of flourishing sunflowers “Newt”, you gasped, lifting your hand to your mouth.

You had tried several times to grow your own flowers over the years but none of your attempts had ever taken much to your dismay because magic simply wouldn’t work. So the first time Newt had seen you cry because of your pregnancy hormones he had made up his mind that he would grow you a whole field of them himself.

He’d had to read up on many muggle gardening books in preparation and had spent the last several months toiling away at the soil, checking on the seedlings every day between tending to your greenhouse of plants as well since he hadn’t allowed you into the case to care for them yourself. There had been many times he’d nearly given up in frustration but he persevered imagining how happy you would be when the flowers finally did grow.

Of course, the surprise was a big factor in keeping you away from his case but he also just wanted to keep you from over exerting yourself which he knew you would, wanting to help him out as much you could. Now you were so far along into the pregnancy and allowing yourself plenty of rest Newt figured he could let you back into the case and you would take it easy.

“This must have taken you months, Newt”, you breathed out, leaning into him as you looked around you in awe. “Well, I know you’ve been feeling a little emotional with all the changes happening to your body and I knew this would make you happy.” Newt murmured, smiling down at you “I’m quite proud of myself really. This is all by hand.” he said before he lead you over to the small stone bench he’d build, sat under a Rowan tree that was almost identical to Pickett’s home tree that you both used to sit under back at Hogwarts.

“And I thought this would be the perfect spot for you to sit and relax with the little one when he or she finally comes,” Newt explained, pulling you to sit down next to him. “Oh, Sweetheart”, he murmured, wrapping his arms around you when he noticed you had begun to cry, gently brushing your tears away and chuckling lightly. “And to think you were about ready to slap me just a few minutes ago,” he teased, pressing a kiss to your temple.

You sniffled and lay your head on his shoulder, holding his hands tightly in your own. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you. This is...I can’t believe you’ve done all of this. It’s perfect Newt, I couldn’t have even dreamt this in my wildest imaginations,” you murmured, your emotions eventually settling down again, allowing you to enjoy the moment properly.

“I can’t believe you’ve put up with all of my tantrums these past few weeks just to keep this a surprise”, you murmured, shaking your head at him and Newt chuckled again, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. “Oh they’re hardly tantrums. Plus, I find you especially adorable when you’re mad”, he said, grinning widely when you frowned in response.

“See! You get this cute little pout and you think you’re so tough. It’s quite entertaining really.” Newt teased you more, his fingers lightly tickling your sides and you grabbed his hands, the retort dying on your lips when you felt a sudden kick in your stomach. Your eyes widened and you quickly pulled Newt’s hands to rest over your stomach “do you feel that?”

Newt’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open into a little ‘o’ when you both felt the baby kicking again and he smiled widely, lowering his face to your stomach and pressing a kiss there. “Oh, hello little one, are you feeling a little restless in there?”, he murmured, keeping his hands on your stomach as he lay his ear against you and listened intently, unshed tears shining in his own eyes.

You smiled down at your husband and reached down to gently card your fingers through his curls, shifting a bit when the baby kicked again but keeping your eyes trained on Newt. “I can’t wait to meet you. I bet you’re going to be just as beautiful as your mother,” Newt murmured lowly, looking up at you through his lashes and smiling lovingly at you.

You smiled and sat like that with Newt sat at your feet, leaning against your thighs with his head propped carefully against your stomach and your hands thread together. You both watched the sunset in the new garden sanctuary Newt had built for you and you knew you would always be happy and loved so long as Newt was beside you.

PLEASE SEND ME PROMPTS! -MASTERLIST HERE-

#newt scamander x reader #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander #fbawtft #fantastic beasts and where to find them #newt scamander x you #jealous newt #protective newt #harry potter #eddie redmayne #drabble

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artificialqueens · 4 years ago

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Modern Love, 1/12 (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex) - Ortega

fic summary: Brooke Lynn is a 23 year old graduate writing boring, uninspired pieces for the fashion department of a newspaper and living in a city all her friends have moved away from. Silky is living at her parents’ house and spends her days applying for jobs she’s promptly rejected for. Nina and Monet are struggling through their first year as teachers whilst being sickeningly adorable girlfriends. Akeria is pursuing her dream of being a badass lawyer, even if her master’s degree is slowly crushing her soul. Plastique is acting like the second coming of Paris Hilton, so nothing there has changed. Scarlet is overworked and Yvie is underpaid and their relationship isn’t all it appears from the outside.

And Vanessa? Vanessa is nowhere to be seen.

(A story about a holiday, a breakup, friendships and relationships in a post-graduate world, careers, navigating life after university, figuring out what it means to be an adult, and coming to terms with the fact that we really are not nineteen forever.)

a/n: welcome to the sequel to Not Nineteen Forever!!! i should say it’s not *~ mandatory ~* to have read the original before this but it’s encouraged huehue xo hope u enjoy and please feel free to reblog, like and send love!!

***

Brooke felt the all-encompassing sense of dread wash over her as her alarm went off, the sounds of the radio that were gradually fading in doing nothing to make the experience of waking up for another day of work any more palatable. She groaned loudly as she stretched, her arms flying out to the side and hitting the edge of the double bed. Brooke starfished a little, stretching her legs out as long as they would go and trying to put off getting up and showered for as long as she could.

Rolling over in bed she reached for her phone and stopped when she saw the rose-gold rectangular frame beside her on the bedside table. It caught her by surprise every day, almost a sort of routine in itself. A picture of her and Vanessa from when they first moved in, standing at the doorway having just popped a bottle of champagne. Brooke’s face was in a funny contorted sort of smile as she yanked the cork out of the bottle and Vanessa was clapping her hands in excitement, a brilliant white moonbeam painted across her face. Brooke remembered the day well. Monet had taken the photo with Nina beside her, both of them still in their work clothes after they’d visited straight from a hard day full of teaching. Akeria, Silky, Plastique, Scarlet and Yvie had all been inside, shuffling through the huge variety of Domino’s pizza boxes that had just arrived at their door like a deck of cards. That night had been so special. Whatever had happened since then, Brooke would probably treasure that memory forever.

In spite of herself she smiled as she looked at the photograph, then turned her attention to her phone screen.

No notifications. She didn’t know why she expected anything more.

With a cloud over her head that matched the ones in the uncharacteristically grey June sky, Brooke brushed her teeth and peeled her pyjamas off before stepping into the shower and adjusting the dial to somewhere between tepid and warm. Vanessa’s shower gel sat in the corner, the tropical fruit and mint one with little tiny sloths all over the front. Brooke found herself hurting as she looked at it, still loath to use it as she took her own from the opposite side and splatted a huge dollop into her shower puff. Sometimes she used it indulgently, like a secret she shared with herself. She didn’t know whether she’d buy more when it ran out. That was something she still needed to think about.

Once she was clean Brooke briskly dried herself with a towel, sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in it as she carefully blow-dried out her hair. She picked out her outfit: smart black work trousers with a fabric belt that pulled her in at the waist, a black and white patterned shirt, black stiletto heels. As she painted some minimal makeup on her face in the hope it would make her look less like a sleep-deprived zombie and more like she had her life together in some way, Brooke checked the clock and cursed as she realised she was running behind.

Leaving lipstick for the moment, she grabbed her bag, shoved her feet in a pair of black pumps, and left hurriedly for the train. Breakfast wasn’t a priority; she knew she could grab an iced coffee and a croissant from the cafe in the station in between changing trains, as it took her two to get into work. It was times such as these that she wished she knew how to drive like Monet, Plastique and Akeria, or had learned since uni like Nina or Scarlet. But then again, cafe food for breakfast was one of the very few perks of public transport.

Brooke eventually arrived at the huge concrete block with windows that held her offices, taking the elevator up to the fifth floor, clocking in, shooting a lacklustre “hi” to the girls she sometimes chatted to and settling herself in at her desk. As office positions went, Brooke supposed it wasn’t awful- it was beside the window looking out onto the streets of the city below and it provided some much-needed light to her day. Logging on to her work laptop, she checked her emails (one from her boss about the article due for Friday, and one from Cheryl about money for flowers for somebody going on maternity leave that she’d never met or heard of and might not even have worked there).

Her working day had started.

University hadn’t prepared Brooke for graduate life. It hadn’t prepared her for the fact that friends moved away for jobs and houses and flats, internships and apprenticeships and postgrads and masters. It hadn’t prepared her for the fact that her group chat, once flooded with about a hundred messages if she so much as left it for five minutes, gathered dust as everyone’s lives took over. It hadn’t prepared Brooke for the feeling of missing out on something…Christ knows what. Perhaps living, making memories instead of simply swiping through ones already made on a Saturday night spent alone in bed with a bottle of wine to herself. It hadn’t prepared her for the yearning, the regret at having taken those days for granted when they were the happiest of her life and she hadn’t even realised it. If Brooke had known how soul-crushingly boring her life would be once she got that rolled-up piece of paper in a little tube she would’ve been dragging the girls out every single night. The all-encompassing sadness and longing for something better hit her harder on days like these, sepia ones with big clouds that hung ominously in the sky but never gave her the satisfaction of raining. She supposed that feeling had only been exacerbated by…

She didn’t need to remind herself of that.

It was ten o’clock in the morning and Brooke was staring out of the small office window stupefied with boredom when her phone vibrated. She jumped, pouncing on it as she always did whenever a notification went off. Her phone hadn’t been on silent for a full month. It hadn’t been the person she’d wanted or expected, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

Silk: HEY GIRL LONG TIME NO SPEAK! I’M GONNA BE IN TOWN THIS AFTERNOON FOR AN INTERVIEW BUT I’LL BE FREE AFTER AND I’VE GOT A COUPLE HOURS TO KICK ABOUT UNTIL MY TRAIN. YOU WANNA GRAB DINNER? XXXXXXXXX

Brooke frantically made plans as if she was under a time limit, as if the moment would slip through her fingers like sand in an hourglass. She suggested some restaurants that she knew wouldn’t eat into either of their fragile graduate salaries and they settled on an Italian in the city centre, where the portions were big and the meals were tasty.

Brooke spent the rest of the day looking forward to meeting her friend. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Silky. Maybe it had been as long ago as New Year. Brooke smiled as she remembered the occasion; all of them cramming into Scarlet and Yvie’s flat to see in the year. Silky and Akeria had got too drunk off prosecco and screamed along to JLS, Scarlet and Yvie had both made a buffet to rival a hotel’s, and Nina, Monet, Vanessa and Brooke had all been tangled up in an almost relationship-ruining game of Articulate. Plastique had brought her new girlfriend Naomi to introduce to everyone and the girl had looked ever so slightly alarmed by the sheer chaos of everyone put together, but she’d laughed and joined in all the same.

That had been another happy memory. Those seemed to be hard to come by these days.

Work dragged. It always did. Brooke managed to write three sub-par articles that she sent to her editor at the end of the day anyway because hell, it was their job to turn carbon into diamonds. So when she hopped on the train back into the city, Brooke felt a little buzz in her veins that she hadn’t felt in a while.

It took her until she saw Silky standing outside the restaurant- hair in a bun full of flyaways, eyebrows still Sharpied on, in a pair of smart trousers and a floaty top- that Brooke realised that part of the reason she was so excited was because she’d been so lonely for such a long time. Well, only really a month, but it felt like a year. It had taken her living on her own to realise just how boring her life was without all her friends so constantly part of it, and now they all had their own lives and schedules it only served to show Brooke how empty her own was without…

Well. Without her.

As soon as Silky looked up from her phone and spotted Brooke her face lit up, and she fixed her with a smile and a screech that Brooke never thought she would have missed hearing but by God, she had.

“BROOKE LYNN!” she screamed, followed by lots of squealing and babbling as she wrapped the taller girl in a tight hug and refused to let go for at least twenty seconds. Brooke didn’t mind and she found herself clinging back, Silky suddenly the loudest anchor she’d never known she needed. When Silky finally pulled away she grabbed Brooke by both wrists, shaking her back and forth a little. “Oh my God, BITCH! Oh my God. FUCK! It’s so good to see you. How the fuck are you?”

Brooke appreciated that- Silky asking how she was. Yvie tiptoed around Brooke’s feelings when they texted and Brooke tiptoed around her and Scarlet’s perfect domestic bliss, both of the subjects too touchy for Brooke and the pair of them instead choosing to communicate via meme. Nina barely had time to breathe these days let alone text back, and Plastique…well, Plastique wouldn’t get it.

None of them would, she supposed.

“I’m…I’m surviving! I’m being an adult, I guess, and this is what life is now. How’re you?” Brooke swiftly moved the conversation on, and Silky took the hint and dropped both her wrists, pushing open the door.

“I’m on cloud fuckin’ nine girl. C’mon, let’s get some vino an’ I’ll catch you up on the world of Ms. Ganache! Think of it as a free episode of the reality TV show that is my life.”

“Let’s be real, Silk. If anyone’s life’s like a reality TV show right now, it’s mine,” Brooke raised her eyebrows, not quite committing to her own attempt at being lighthearted and instead couldn’t have sounded more bitter if she’d eaten an entire lemon with its rind on.

Silky, for her part, shrugged and let out a small sigh. “You ain’t wrong, girl, you ain’t wrong. But the offer of wine still stands, so let’s get sat. Where the damn hell is a waiter?”

They eventually got shown to their table and the conversation flowed frantically and excitedly, mirroring the wine. Silky filled Brooke in on every last detail of her life- most importantly, Brooke thought, was that Silky’s parents who she was back living with had adopted a cocker spaniel puppy called Pooch. Graduate life had been tough on Silky; she still hadn’t managed to get a job and so therefore couldn’t afford to rent a flat, so she’d moved back to her sleepy and uninspiring hometown. Living with her parents, she’d groaned, was beginning to chip away at her; the constant pressure they put on Silky to find a job, move out, get a boyfriend, and lose weight was beginning to grow wearing in the extreme, and Brooke didn’t blame her for being fed up.

“You know you’re always welcome to come chill at mine, you know. If it’s getting particularly rough,” Brooke suggested not-quite-casually, glad of the fact that loneliness didn’t have a scent because if it did she’d be reeking of it.

Silky gave a bashful smile, looking down at her half-eaten plate of spaghetti bolognaise in front of her. “You’re a doll, B, but you know I can’t do an hour on the train any time my Mama tuts at me buying a size XL of anything. In fact therapy’s probably cheaper than a train ticket here but realistically I don’t got the money for either, so…thanks, but in the words of Simon Cowell, issa no from me.”

“That’s okay. I get it, Mums are simultaneously the worst and the best people,” Brooke pulled a face. Thinking about her Mum made her wonder when the last time she texted her was. She felt a little ashamed for not knowing off the top of her head. “But hey, at least you got that interview, right? How did it go?”

“Alright,” Silky muttered in a non-committal way. It was the most un-Silky response Brooke thought she’d ever seen her friend give. It was weird and unpleasant; the Silky from uni would’ve yelled the place down about how she’d aced it, how they’d make her the chief editor right there and then, how she could write an article for them entirely in Wingdings and it’d still be the best thing they’d read all day.

Seemingly picking up on Brooke’s discomfort, Silky gave a small laugh. “I don’ know, boo…I used to be so sure of myself, I used to be so set in the fact that writing was somethin’ I was good at. When I was a kid I used to write these fuckin’ huge stories…pages an’ pages long that my teachers would pull big overexaggerated smiley faces at an’ squeal over an’ put big glittery star stickers on. I thought I was somethin’ special. An’ then uni, y’know…I was a small fish in a big pond- hell, a big fish in a big pond- but I still thought I was the shit even when I got bad grades. I thought my markers just didn’t get it, that they were the ones that were wrong. But now it��s like…”

Silky heaved a sigh and put her fork and spoon together neatly on top of her half-full plate. “…I can’t even get a job at a fuckin’ local rag, so why the hell am I even tryin’ with the big city offices?”

There was something about it all that made Brooke’s heart break all over again, the way that life after uni had worn Silky down to the extent where she didn’t even know if she was good at anything any more, didn’t have much visible self-worth left. Silky had always been the heart and soul of their group; she, Akeria and Vanessa, and in the time it had taken between now and graduation Akeria had become the polar opposite of Silky- so completely embroiled in her quest to become a barrister that she barely had time to reply to any of them any more.

And Vanessa…well. She knew where Vanessa was. Or rather, she didn’t.

Greece was a big country.

“You’re trying because you’re Big Silky Nutmeg Motherfucking Ganache,” Brooke said with a determination she’d not felt in a while. “Come on Silk, you’re you. If grad life has broken you then what the fuck hope is there for any of us?”

( Any of us sounded better than me , Brooke thought.)

“Kiki’s doin’ okay for herself,” Silky shrugged, her downtrodden tone counteracted by the way she picked up her fork again and twirled a single strand of spaghetti around it, eating it once she was finished speaking.

“Kiki’s vagina-deep in a hellish and all-consuming masters degree that’s probably eating her up from the inside out just as much as everybody else’s jobs are. I mean, are any of us doing anything we actually like?”

“Nina an’ Monet? They’da quit by now if they hated teaching so much.”

“Nina West would join the fucking scientologists and stick it out just so she could say she didn’t give up. She’s the final boss of the term mama didn’t raise a quitter . They’re having a hard time, Silk. We all are. It’s just tough because we’re all so busy and shit at keeping in touch that everybody thinks each others’ lives are perfect but…they’re really not.”

“Yvie and Scarlet seem pretty happy.”

Brooke’s face took on an involuntary look of distaste, so irritated and bitter was she at the image of them and their perfect flat and their perfect jobs and their perfect coupley life. “They’ll have something up, nobody’s life is that perfect. Maybe their relationship’s secretly falling apart or…something, fuck, I don’t know.”

There was a beat of silence in which Brooke finished the last little pocket of tortellini she’d ordered and Silky twirled another mouthful of spaghetti around her fork. She chewed, then shrugged thoughtfully, her head tilting a little. “Y’know we should go on holiday. Fuck all this shit off for a week, get away from it all.”

Brooke’s eyebrows raised in appreciation of the idea. She and the girls had never been away together before and the prospect of lying on a beach doing absolutely nothing under the blazing sun was an inviting one. “What, a girls’ trip? Like in Sex and The City?”

“Mhm. ‘Cept we go on an all-inclusive to the Med ‘stead of Mexico ‘cause ain’t none of us can afford that shit.”

“Except Plastique.”

“True. Fuck that bitch. She could prolly buy Mexico.”

Brooke laughed and for the first time in a good few months she felt a little flicker of excitement lick at her heart, so much so that she could see her pulse race at her wrist. She couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. “Oh my God. I’m so in. Let’s do it.”

“We have to get all the girls on board, though. Otherwise there ain’t no point.”

“Definitely. Where should we go? Spain’s always good.”

Silky had her phone out and was typing furiously. She paused as something presumably loaded, then her face lit up. “If we go the week after Nina an’ Monet finish up school for Summer we can get flights to Crete for £20 return.”

“Twenty, what the fuck? That can’t be right,” Brooke screwed up her face in disbelief, and Silky cocked an eyebrow at her as she showed her the proof on her screen. Conceding, Brooke shrugged. “That’s so good. I don’t want to know what that plane’s like though. They probably just stuff you all into a tin can and ping you into the air with a giant rubber band.”

Silky howled with laughter and thumped the table so hard that the wine sloshed about in their glasses, little tiny red tsunamis. As Brooke snorted in response purely to Silky’s own mirth, a small thought set off a little drip of dread that threatened to put out the excitement that had only just begun to burn in her chest.

“Where is Crete again?”

Silky let out an unimpressed breath from her nose. “Bitch, you got all the geography skills of a Love Island contestant. It’s just off the Greek coast. Kinda near Turkey too, but it’s Greece.”

Brooke felt her heart drop, Alton Towers Oblivion all over again. She blinked quickly, tried to hide her discomfort. “Well, we’re not going there.”

Silky gave a small sigh, a little hint of resignation or long-suffering to it that Brooke didn’t appreciate. But when she reached over the table and patted her hand on top of Brooke’s, she felt a little bit more understood, a little bit more validated.

“B, Greece is a big place.”

It was the exact same thing Brooke herself had thought earlier, except now it didn’t seem true. Now, with the prospect of going there, it seemed like the tiniest microcosm of society. The world was simultaneously too big and too small, and Brooke felt the cold drip in her heart get worse. “Silky…”

“Look. We ain’t exactly gonna pick the same place she’s at, are we?”

Brooke put her head in her hands and sighed. “She’s not there anymore.”

“What?”

“I phoned the hotel a week ago to try and speak to her. I was going to fly out, try and talk to her and fix things. They said she didn’t work there anymore. So I don’t even know where she is at all.”

Silky huffed, frowning and concerned. “I’m sorry, Brooke, this shit must’ve been hell.”

“You’ve got no idea.”

There was a pause as Silky pushed her food around her plate. “Crete’s small, but it ain’t that small. We still got a one in a million chance of bumpin’ into her if we go.”

“That’s still too small for my liking. Both the island and the chances.”

“Aight, one in a billion. Trillion. Point is, it ain’t gonna happen. An’ besides…” Silky waggled her eyebrows, flashing her phone screen at Brooke again. “Twenty pounds for the first week of the school holidays. This shit’s like gold dust.”

Brooke smiled slowly in spite of herself. Maybe Silky was right. And maybe it would be fun to swan around Greece, eat seafood and pretend to be in some knockoff version of Mamma Mia. Scratch that, it would be fun. She’d get to spend a week surrounded by her friends in the sun, which was what she badly needed at the moment.

Brooke was nodding before she knew it. “Okay, fine. Crete it is.”

“YES, bitch!” Silky cheered, loud enough to be heard by the entire restaurant and possibly the chefs in the kitchen too. “Now let’s get dessert. All this wine needs soaked up by a big slice of sticky toffee puddin’.”

It was easy to feel optimistic with Silky back being her loud and just-the-right-side-of-obnoxious self, and with a plate of tiramisu in front of her. But after they’d finished up, paid their bill and she’d hugged Silky goodbye at the train station, Brooke found the endorphins wearing off as she got back to her dark flat and into her cold bed. Maybe it was because she was finally coming down from the high of meeting up with a beloved friend, maybe it was because she knew she had another monotonous, greyscale day of work to get through tomorrow.

Or perhaps, Brooke thought as she turned over in bed, caught sight of the familiar rose-gold frame and blew it a kiss, she was simply missing her girlfriend.

If she could even call Vanessa that any more.

#rpdr fanfiction #s11 #modern love #ortega #n19f #branjie #background scyvie #background ninex #lesbian au #angst #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #silky nutmeg ganache

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just-my-sickly-pride · 5 years ago

Text

The Night Comes Down || Brian May x fem!Reader x Roger Taylor

summary || one of the first rules you’d ever made with brian, your friends-with-benefits, eight months ago, was that anyone could back out of the arrangement at any time, for whatever reason, and then everything would go back to normal. back to how it was. and that’s fine. you have no problem with that. you’re fine. you’re so fine. it’s... fine.

rating || no smut, but some implied explicit content. warning: there is a brief scene where reader is being heavily pressured into kissing someone at a party.

word count || 9.7k

author’s notes || all good things must come to an end! so i’ve been working on this series for over a year. how did that even happen?? anyway yes this is the end of the try series. no it’s not a happy ending. i debated back and forth for a long time whether to end the series or not, but it felt too weird not to. and i couldn’t figure out any reasonable ‘happy’ way for it to end. a big big big thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me for this entire journey, or part of this journey, or even if you’re just tuning in now - thank you! and if you’re still somehow invested in this little ’verse after all this time, don’t abandon me just yet 👀 p.s. i think i’ve ironed out most of the timeline issues but don’t look too closely. this series is not my proudest in terms of continuity

masterlist

tag list: @the-huttslayer @scorpiogemini @redspecialty @supersonicfreddie @killer-queen-xo @a-night-at-the-0pera @rogerscupboard

Part of you had known it was inevitable. Another part of you liked to pretend that it wasn’t. But it was.

It still felt like it had come out of nowhere, though.

Brian was watching you cautiously, adjusting the grip on his laptop and workbook. “Did you… want to say anything, or…?”

“Um…” You blinked a couple times, and shook your head. “Uh, no, I’m just… surprised?”

“I feel like I’ve mentioned her a few times,” Brian said.

“Once or twice, maybe,” you said. “I didn’t know that you and her…”

“Yeah.” Brian scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, we hooked up, like, two weeks ago, and then again a few nights ago, and we’ve been talking every day, so.”

“Oh.” It sounded twisted, wonky, but you forced a smile onto your face, wondering why you felt so… uncomfortable hearing about this. “That’s great. And you like her?”

“Yeah, I really do,” Brian said, and his voice sounded warm, and he had a little smile on his face, and something ugly and strange twisted in your gut. “And I want to take her on an actual date, but obviously, I’d feel a bit weird about it if I still had, y’know. A, uh, side arrangement. But you’re all right?”

“Of course,” you said brightly. Side arrangement. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? That’s great, Brian, really. I’m – really glad you’ve found someone.”

“It’s been a while, that’s for sure,” Brian said with a chuckle.

“Are you going to tell Rog?”

Brian frowned a little. “Um, no, I don’t think that’s necessary. I never had – anything with him. And he’s already met Dani, so.”

“Oh!” Ah, Christ, that had sounded dreadful, even to your own ears. “Where– Where’d he meet her?”

“The other day.” Brian gave you a sheepish smile. “The morning after. She ran into him in the kitchen.”

You pushed a strained laugh out of you. “Oh, right, yeah, great.”

Brian chuckled as well. “Yeah, it was a little awkward, but what can you do, right?”

You swallowed, and nodded. Your face hurt from smiling.

“You’ll love her,” Brian said. “She’s wonderful. She’s so smart, and funny, and she’s so pretty. I mean, so pretty. Absolutely beautiful. Completely knocked my socks off when I first saw her. Can’t believe she fancies me.”

“Great,” you said. You were saying great too much. “She sounds–” Don’t. “–so great.”

“She is.” Brian beamed. “You’ll have to meet her soon.”

“I’m sure I will,” you said.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Brian said. He sighed happily. “Well, I should head off.”

“Yeah, course,” you said. “Me too.”

“I’ll message you,” Brian said. “We can arrange a dinner at the flat or something.”

“Can’t wait!”

Brian smiled, nodded in satisfaction, and then said, “All right, see you later.”

“Bye!” You turned around and hurried away, in the opposite direction you needed to go.

Hmm. Huh. Right. Okay. So. Brian just. He just.

You went to the food court and sat down at the first available seat you could find.

You took out your phone and immediately went to message Veronica.

Brian just

Your thumbs paused.

He just what? He just found someone he wanted to date, and ended his arrangement with you. On paper, not that big of a deal. It was part of the unwritten contract of it all: any person was allowed to end things for whatever reason, and there would be no consequences. A rule you had written yourself, all those months ago.

Side arrangement. Side piece. Dirty secret. Not as good as the real thing. Not as funny or smart or pretty or wonderful or beautiful as Danielle.

You froze. Whoa, where had that come from?

You weren’t jealous. You couldn’t have been jealous. You’d never wanted to date Brian. You still didn’t want to date Brian. You didn’t have a crush on him, and you never had. Brian didn’t break up with you.

So what the everloving fuck was going on in your head right now?

You put your phone away. Nope, you couldn’t go crying to Veronica for no damn reason. This had always been bound to happen, and now it had, so you just needed an hour or so to process it, and then things would be fine. You’d go back to normal.

Your idea of ‘normal’ seemed to greatly differ from Brian’s.

You didn’t hear from him for a week. Whereas before you’d talked every other day, he went almost totally radio silent. Every meme or message you sent was either seen and ignored, or responded to with a vague Haha or a thumbs-up.

You met up with Roger on your usual catch-up night, but you hadn’t gotten very far into anything before he stopped and said, “You’re not really feeling it, are you?”

You made a face. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He passed your shirt to you, and he fetched his from the floor and slipped it on. “So… Brian has a date tomorrow night.”

You frowned. “He does?”

Roger nodded. “Yeah, he didn’t tell you about it?”

You looked down at your hands. “Um, no. He didn’t. I haven’t heard much from him, actually. After he… ended… things.”

“Whoa,” Roger said, climbing onto the bed. “Wait, really? With you?”

You nodded, and suddenly felt your throat close over. But you were not going to fucking cry about it, Jesus Christ. You swallowed it down, and gave Roger a mild look of interest. “Yeah. I didn’t even know he liked Dani, and then I ran into him at uni last week, and he just sort of said, ‘Hey, while I’m here,’ and then that was it. But I didn’t know the date was tomorrow night. He didn’t tell me.”

“I’m sure he was just distracted,” Roger said. “He gets like that with a girl he likes.” He shook his head. “Damn, he must be serious about her.”

“Yeah, must be.”

Roger paused, and then said, “Are you… okay?”

You shrugged. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno, it’s a pretty big… thing to have ended.”

“No, I’m fine,” you said lightly, giving him a smile. “We’re still friends. And I’ve still got you, right?”

“Yeah,” Roger said, although he didn’t sound entirely convinced.

“Yeah. So I’m good.” You sighed, willing away all the gross mess of emotions you were feeling. “I’m not really feeling going all the way, but making out sounds good, if you’re down.”

Luckily, that immediately distracted Roger, and he didn’t ask any further questions. And you poured everything you had into your kisses, hoping it would distract you, too.

You were hoping things would settle down for you, emotionally, over the next two weeks or so.

But that didn’t happen. Everything grew to be so much worse. Exponentially. You didn’t know whether you hated Brian, or Dani, or hated them as a couple, or if you just hated yourself. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as the two of them, and you hadn’t spoken more than ten words to Dani. The thought of trying to be friends with her turned your stomach. She wasn’t particularly annoying, and she wasn’t a bad person in any way, but just something about her face and her voice and her fucking presence in your life just infuriated you.

You couldn’t get the idea out of your head that she looked like a mouse. Or a rat. Small pointy nose, big dark eyes, slight buck teeth. She was curvy, and at least a foot shorter than Brian, although it was hard to tell with the heels and platforms she always wore. Her hair was browny-blonde and long and thick, and she wore it slicked back in a pony, like Ariana Grande. Her ears glittered with delicate piercings. She liked to draw on freckles.

She was pretty. For a rat.

You did your best to hide how you felt about her. You thought you should’ve gotten a freaking Oscar for how well you hid it. At least from Brian. On the rare occasion that Dani wasn’t by his side, you let him talk about her, and did your best to seem encouraging.

There was a part of you – a bigger part than you wanted to admit – that believed they were going to break up soon enough. Then things could go back to normal, and this weird hiccup could be forgotten.

But they didn’t break up. They stayed together.

And so you ended up ranting about it all to Veronica. You knew you were really going on about it, and somehow you kept finding things to say about the situation when you knew there was nothing really more to say. Veronica listened, to a degree. But her advice was sensible and responsible and mature and you really didn’t feel like being any of those things. You wanted to throw a goddamn tantrum.

So you turned to Roger. Thank God for his high sex drive.

He wasn’t completely clueless. You had an air of desperation about you that you knew he could sense, and knowing that was almost enough to make you draw away from him, too.

Almost. But he always took such good care of you. It was selfish to keep asking him to meet up, but you felt like you would explode if you didn’t.

About a month after Brian and Dani had started dating, you and Roger were making out on the couch. It was rough, as sex frequently had been these past few weeks, and Roger’s grip on your waist was bruising as you rocked against him. Things were moments away from moving to the bedroom, when the front door opened unexpectedly.

You quickly looked up, a deer in headlights, and your stomach dropped.

“Oh, sorry,” Brian mumbled, ducking his head.

“No, it’s fine,” you said, and you’d tried to go for nonchalant, but your voice came out too sharp.

Roger tilted his head back. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Brian said. You watched as he kicked his shoes off and chucked his keys on the kitchen table.

“Sorry,” he said again, shooting you a quick glance. “I’ll just, uh…”

He hurried to his room.

There you were, looking already thoroughly debauched, on his couch, in Roger’s lap, and Brian had just ducked his head and ran.

You stared after him, your heart twisting around itself. He hadn’t even… He didn’t…

Once, he would have taken one look at you and pounced on you. He would’ve begged to kiss you, would’ve torn your clothes off.

Now, he acted like he’d walked in on Roger having a one-night stand with some girl he’d picked up at a bar. He acted like he’d never even been attracted to you at all.

Was it really so easy for him to move on? Were you really that forgettable?

“You all right?” Roger asked, his thumb touching your bottom lip.

You snapped to look at him. Shit, how much had you let on? “Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Just lost in my thoughts, nothing important.”

“You sure?” Roger asked.

You bit your lip and nodded. “Mm-hm. How about you take me to your room and fuck all those stupid little thoughts out of me?”

Roger paused for a moment, like he wanted to say something more, but your tongue darted out, lapping at the pad of his thumb, and you kept your eyes on his as you licked his thumb into your mouth. You watched, half excited, half relieved, as his eyes glazed over, his gaze fixated on your lips around his thumb.

It sickened you to even think about it, but you definitely had a little voice in the back of your head that hoped Brian could hear Roger fucking you.

“We should hang out,” you said to Brian. Just over a month, now. Final exams were breathing down everyone’s necks. It didn’t help your situation. “I feel like I never get to see you anymore. You’re with your girlfriend all the time.”

You’d run into him at uni. That was almost the only way you got to see him these days. And he no longer hugged you hello or goodbye, just kept a firm, amicable amount of distance between you.

He didn’t often look you in the eye these days, either. He shifted about whenever you talked, like he wanted to be somewhere else.

“Mm, yeah, maybe,” he said.

You swallowed down the hurt. “How about a movie night? Or we could just hang out, just the two of us.”

“Um.” Brian scratched his nose. “I’m pretty busy at the moment. Maybe we could do a group thing? That’d be fun. Me and Dani, John and Veronica, you and Rog.”

You frowned. “Me and Rog?”

“Yeah.”

“We’re not together.”

Brian shrugged. “I just thought– Well, I think it’d be nice. You two suit each other.”

“We don’t want to be a couple, Brian. What are you on about?”

“I just think it’d be good for you, that’s all. Being in a relationship is, well, really nice, and I think maybe you and Rog should at least give it a go.”

You were gobsmacked. You wanted to throw something, yell a stern reminder of, Hey, are you fucking stupid? Do you not remember the past eight months of our lives where you seemed perfectly content to not be in a relationship? Remember how many times the two of us were hounded by our friends about dating? You fucking hypocrite.

But you didn’t say any of that. There was an unspoken rule that neither of you ever brought up your old arrangement. It was as if it had never existed.

Most of the time, it seemed like Brian wished it hadn’t. Like it was some embarrassing secret.

“Well, we don’t want that, so you can mind your own business,” you said. “And where does Freddie fit into your little equation, anyway?”

Brian shrugged again. “He could bring a date along as well, I don’t know.”

“We’re not going on a– a quadruple date. Jesus.”

“Just an idea,” Brian muttered.

“You can still hang out with friends without your girlfriend, you know.”

Brian sighed. “Okay. Well.”

You sighed as well, gathering yourself. You tried again. “What about a party, or something? We haven’t been to a party in forever.”

Brian hesitated. “Well, one of Dani’s friends is having a party this weekend.”

Not exactly what you’d meant. “Maybe a little group of us could go?” you suggested. “If Dani’s all right with it? That could be fun.”

Brian nodded to himself. “Yeah,” he said mildly. “Yeah, that could work. I’ll ask her.”

“Great,” you said with a smile that you most certainly had to force onto your face. You began making a quick retreat, not waiting for him to formulate an excuse. “Text me, okay?”

“Yep,” he said, and you could tell he was already forgetting about it completely.

But, to your surprise, that weekend, you got a text from him. Dani said it’s all right if you and the others want to come along.

Your lip curled. It hardly sounded like Brian wanted any of you there. great, you replied. pres at yours?

I’ll actually be having pres at Lachlan’s, Brian sent. He’s one of Dani’s friends. But I’ll send you the details of the party and I’ll see you there.

But no one else wanted to come.

“No thanks,” Roger grumbled. “I’ve met some of Dani’s friends. They’re all complete wankers.”

“But I don’t want to go alone,” you whined.

“Ask Freddie. He’s always down for a good time.”

I can’t darling, Freddie texted. work early the next day. they said if I turn up hung-over or still drunk one more time they’ll fire me

u don’t have to get that drunk, you replied hopefully. just drink a bit and then go home early

then what would be the point of going lol?? Freddie sent.

“Sorry,” Veronica said. “Studying.”

You sulked. “You can’t afford to take a break just for a couple hours?”

“No. And, honestly, I don’t want to enable whatever thing you’re going through right now. I think getting drunk around Brian would be a bad idea.”

“I’ll be fine,” you said. “I just want an excuse to hang out as friends, okay? That’s all. It’s not enabling, it’s supporting.”

Veronica made a sound that told you she disagreed. You huffed and gave up. What did she know, anyway?

“Hey, Dea–”

“I’m not going to that party tonight,” John cut in smoothly, not even looking up from his textbook.

“But–”

“I’d rather sever my own foot.” He glanced up at you, giving you an apologetic half-smile. “Sorry. I just can’t stand being around Brian and Dani. They’re insufferable.”

At least that you could agree with.

everyone else is busy, you texted Brian. You bit your lip, debating whether to ask, but, damn it, fuck it all – can I come to lachlan’s pres and go with u guys?

It took him two hours to reply. Yeah, sure.

You felt sick. This was a bad idea.

It was by far too much trouble for what it was worth to get to Lachlan’s. You were terrified of turning up before Brian and Dani, so you arrived two and a half hours after when you were meant to be there.

That was better. It was easier to rock up when everyone was already pissed.

And they were very much pissed. Lachlan answered the door. He was tall and stocky, with brown hair and blue eyes. The sort of guy who looked like he’d played some kind of contact sport in high school, probably football, but now didn’t have a regular training schedule, and so was slowly losing the muscle he’d once had, replacing it with beer and burgers. The sort of guy who’d lose all of his hair by the time he was thirty-five, and get married so he’d have someone to get his beers for him when he was watching the game with the boys. The sort of guy who wanted kids because he liked the thought of telling people he had a couple of boys, rather than actually wanting to be a father.

Or maybe you were making a snap-judgement.

You introduced yourself, and he gave you a lopsided, skeezy grin, letting you into his place. “You here all on your own?” he asked.

Your shoulders tensed. “No,” you said. “I’m a friend of Brian’s. Dani’s new boyfriend.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, I know that. But you don’t have anyone to bring along with you?”

“Not tonight,” you said vaguely. “Busy schedules. Finals aren’t too far away, and all that.”

“Yeah, sick,” Lachlan said, looking you up and down. “Well.” He gestured with his beer to the crowd. “Make yourself at home.” He shot you another grin that made your hands grow clammy. “I’m glad Dani brought you along. Can’t wait to get to know you.”

You gave him an uneasy smile in return, and frantically looked for Brian and Dani. You found them – Dani was sitting on Brian’s lap, yuck – and fled from Lachlan.

“Hi,” you said.

“Oh, hey,” Brian said, and you could tell right off the bat he’d had a bit to drink already. His hand was splayed over Dani’s thigh, holding her to him, and you couldn’t bear to look at it. “Thought you weren’t gonna come.”

“I’m just late,” you said. “Hello, Dani.”

She gave you a polite smile, but didn’t try to engage in conversation.

Brian didn’t even notice. He squeezed Dani a little bit closer. “Well, you gonna drink?” he said.

Yes. Yes, you were. You held up your plastic bottle filled with Sprite and too much vodka. “Yep.”

Brian gave you a thumbs-up.

Dani turned to him. “Just need to go to the bathroom, baby,” she murmured, tapping his hand.

“All right, baby,” Brian murmured back, and you only just stopped yourself from making a face. The word baby sounded clunky, uncomfortable coming from Brian. “Be careful.”

Dani leant in for a kiss, and you turned away, uncapping your bottle and taking a decent swig, grimacing at the burn.

Brian didn’t like pet names. You knew he didn’t like pet names. And yet this ‘baby’ thing had sprung out of nowhere, and it drove you up the fucking wall.

You listened until the sound of Dani’s heels against the floorboards faded before you spoke. “‘Be careful’,” you muttered.

“What?” Brian said.

“She’s just walking to the toilet,” you said. “Not like she’s gonna get assaulted on the way.”

Brian looked mildly annoyed. “I just don’t want her to trip and fall over and hurt herself. She’s a lightweight, and she’s wearing heels. I’m just… trying to be a good boyfriend.”

You sighed. “Yeah, okay,” you said, not wanting to hear a word of it. You took another hefty swig of your drink. “I think I’ll, um, join the rest of the party.”

So much for hanging out with Brian. You wanted to be near him, wanted to talk to him, but you couldn’t bear it for more than five minutes.

You knew what it was – you wanted to talk to him how you used to. But you couldn’t do that anymore. Instead you had some weird, watered-down version of the Brian you knew.

You joined in half-heartedly with a few drinking games, but quickly discovered that you weren’t really in the mood for getting smashed anyway.

Brian and Dani stayed in their own little corner, giggling and whispering with each other, kissing and cuddling and being generally disgusting.

You didn’t even think they’d bother coming to the actual party. But they did, and the group of fifteen or so people in Lachlan’s sharehouse all staggered along the street for about ten minutes to get to the main event.

You’d managed to get along well enough with some of the girls, and Lachlan wouldn’t leave you alone, so you had no choice but to socialise. Which was good, in a way, because you lost Dani and Brian as soon as you walked into the party.

Not that you particularly liked the girls you were talking to. Everyone just had such a weird vibe, like they weren’t sure if they could be bothered to talk to you, but also felt obliged to make you feel welcome. They kept bursting into laughter and you had no idea why, and no one bothered to explain the jokes. But then they complimented your outfit and asked you how your day had been, and they listened with encouraging nods and wide eyes of interest when you answered. Until someone said something that they found more interesting, and then they turned away from you when you were halfway through a sentence. It was off-putting, to say the least; you couldn’t seem to find your footing.

Lachlan, however, was the icing on the cake. The sour, out-of-date icing on the stale cake. He flirted with you incessantly, either not picking up your clear signals that you weren’t interested, or just ignoring them. The others weren’t helping, either, egging the two of you on. A whole lot of wink-wink-nudge-nudge that you were not enjoying at all.

You should’ve just gone home. You didn’t know why you didn’t just leave.

But, for some reason, you stayed. Maybe you hoped that Brian would see your discomfort and come and talk to you – not that you’d seen him for the past hour – or that this strange group of people would want to talk with their friend Dani, and you’d be able to swoop in and catch up with Brian without Dani hanging around awkwardly.

Whatever it was, it was a stupid reason.

And then came truth or dare.

You didn’t want to play, but you were roped into it regardless. There was a rule, you found out, that you were allowed to back out of one truth or dare, and you had to drink if you did so – but only the once, so you had to choose wisely. Someone dared you to show everyone what underwear you were wearing.

Needless to say, you drank instead.

You could tell that no one was very impressed with any of the dares or questions you came up with, even though your friendship group loved your questions and dares. This group seemed to like the brainless shit – if it was gross, or sexual, or nasty in any way, they were all over it. Barely anyone chose ‘truth’.

Then it was Lachlan’s turn, and he turned to you. He grinned, and your stomach sank to the floor. “Dare you to kiss me,” he drawled, and the crowd gasped and ooh’d dramatically.

You didn’t even hesitate to snatch up your cider, but Lachlan quickly said, “You’ve already drunk, you can’t do it twice.”

“Well, I’m doing it twice,” you snapped, and took a swig.

You received jeers and boos for that, and Gina, the girl beside you, took your beer from your hand and said, “You can’t do that!”

“You gotta kiss me, that’s the rules,” Lachlan said above the sounds of everyone else.

“I don’t want to,” you said, your voice wavering.

“You have to,” said Savannah. “You have to, you have to, it’s the rules.”

“Come on,” said – whatever her fucking name was. “Stop being such a pussy, just get it over with.”

Lachlan was starting to look a bit pissed off by now. “Fucking hell, just come and kiss me,” he said. “Don’t be a bitch about it.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could feel your hands starting to shake. “Jesus – no, all right? I don’t want to,” you snapped.

The room felt too loud, too stuffy, too overwhelming.

“Lachlan, just think of something else,” you said.

“Okay, fine, whatever,” Gina complained. “Just do something else.”

“No, I gave you a dare already,” Lachlan said sourly. “It’s not even that big of a deal, like, I don’t even know what the problem is.”

“If she doesn’t want to-”

“That’s the fucking rules,” Lachlan said, throwing his hands in the air like you were the one being unreasonable. “Is that not the fucking rules? Goddamn.”

“Okay, then just kiss him already,” said whatever-the-fuck-her-name-was, waving you over. “Whatever, just hurry up.”

“I’m fucking bored with this shit already,” Savannah said. “Just kiss him or don’t kiss him, whatever. God, this party sucks.”

“It doesn’t suck, she’s just being a bitch,” Lachlan protested.

“Don’t call me a bitch,” you said.

“I’m just teasing,” Lachlan said, crawling over to you. You shrunk away from him, your heart beating like a cantering horse, and he grabbed your wrist. “One kiss, c’mon,” he said, his voice light and friendly, like you were happy to play along.

But you weren’t happy to play along. You didn’t know if everyone was too drunk to notice your obvious discomfort, or they didn’t care, but this was crossing the goddamn line.

“Fuck off, Lachlan,” you said, trying to pull your wrist back. You’d wanted your voice to be tough, to be assertive, but it was small and weak, and then Lachlan leant in for a kiss.

You turned your face away. “Lachlan–”

“Just fucking kiss me, for God’s sake, woman,” Lachlan growled, and grabbed your face with his other hand.

You pushed his hand away, and, without thinking, blurted out the one word that your panicked brain told you would stop everything in its tracks: “Nickleback.”

“What?” Lachlan said, and, good fucking God, of course that wouldn’t work, you were such a fucking idiot, and now you had no back-up plan, nothing else to do, and that word was supposed to stop things, why wasn’t it stopping things–

But then Lachlan was gone, and you felt a hand grab your other wrist and yank you up from the floor, and you unthinkingly leant into the body the hand belonged to as you were led from the room and into a bedroom, and the noise around you became muffled as the door closed behind you.

Then Brian was setting you down on the bed and sitting beside you. In an ideal world, he would have wrapped his arms around you and you would’ve been able to breathe again, like in a movie, but instead there was an awkward amount of space between you as he gingerly asked, “Are you all right?”

You barely even snuck a glance at him. You were humiliated by what had just happened, humiliated by needing him to rescue you, humiliated by your desperate craving for his touch, his comfort. You stared at the floor, curling in on yourself, and you nodded silently. Your hands still shook from adrenaline, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

Brian sighed. “I’m sorry about them. I didn’t know…”

You shook your head. “It’s fine,” you mumbled.

Brian said nothing for a while, and then he reached over and patted you on the back. So achingly unfamiliar, and you felt your shoulders grow even more hunched than they already were. You didn’t think he’d ever touched you like that. Like you were a complete stranger.

You ducked your head, squeezing your eyes shut. Don’t you dare fucking cry.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Brian said, “Yeah?”

You glanced up to see Dani poke her head in, and you quickly looked away again. “Hey, baby,” she said.

Your stomach crawled.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Brian said.

“All right,” Dani said. You could feel her hovering awkwardly.

Brian said your name, catching your attention, and then said, “I’ll just… let you have some time to yourself, all right?”

You said nothing. You did nothing. And Brian stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

“What happened?” came Dani’s voice from just outside the door.

“Lachlan was harassing her,” Brian said.

“They were just playing,” Dani said. “They’re all drunk, it’s just truth or dare.”

“No, I know, but…”

“You didn’t have to run in there like there was a fire and pull her out of there like that. Everyone’s going to ask me what that was all about. Where did that come from?”

Your ears were straining to hear Brian’s response.

“I… I just knew she needed to get out,” he said eventually.

“She could have left if she was uncomfortable.”

“She gets really anxious sometimes, she just freezes.”

You realised, then, that he must’ve heard you say ‘Nickleback’. He must have heard it and immediately known that something was wrong.

You groaned quietly to yourself, covering your face with your hands. Your ex-friend-with-benefits had heard you yell out your old safeword in the middle of a party, and had felt obliged to rush in like a knight in shining armour to swoop you to safety. Jesus Christ.

“She’s an adult, baby,” Dani said. “I’m sure she was fine.” You heard someone sigh. “It’s sweet that you guys are friends, but you don’t have to…”

“What?”

“Look out for her that much.”

“What do you mean? She’s my friend.”

Dani was silent for a while. “Did you guys used to…?”

The air was sucked from the room. Your ears strained to hear every word.

“What?” Brian said, clearly thrown.

“Did you used to date? It just seems like…”

“No,” Brian said quickly. “No, we never dated.”

“You’re not lying to me?”

“No, baby. I promise you, we never dated.”

You grimaced.

Someone sighed again. “Okay,” Dani said. “Good. The last thing I’d want is for you to be friends with an ex.”

Brian chuckled. It sounded forced. “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m glad we agree. Gimme a kissy?”

You could’ve thrown up right then and there. A kissy?

You could hear them murmuring to each other, and Dani’s voice had a particular whiny, baby-talk tone to it that made you want to ‘accidentally’ open the door into the both of them. But then they left, and you were even more alone than before, and you lay down on the bed and curled into a ball, feeling sorry for yourself.

It was time to go home.

By the grace of God himself, Brian offered to wait outside with you, sitting beside you on the kerb, while you called a ride home. Dani stayed inside with her friends.

“I’m sorry about… what happened,” Brian said, and you went still as a statue.

“What do you mean?” you said softly.

“Lachlan, and all of that.”

You let out a breath. “Oh,” you said. “Yeah, that. It’s fine.”

Silence. It wriggled under your skin like cockroaches.

You wanted to touch Brian. You wanted him to touch you. You wanted Roger there, too. You wanted them to want you, like they used to. You wanted to be allowed to want them like they used to love.

But Roger wasn’t there. And Brian barely was, either.

“Brian?” Dani called from the front door.

Brian twisted around. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Oh, okay. Just checking everything’s good.”

“Yeah, we’re fine. Still waiting for the car.”

“Okay. See you inside.”

“Yep.”

“Miss you, baby.”

Brian chuckled. “Miss you too.”

You waited until Brian had turned back around to face the road, and then blurted out, “Why do you let her call you that? You hate pet names.”

Brian frowned, looking to you. “What?”

“Pet names. You hate them.”

“I don’t hate them,” he said.

“You don’t like them, at least.”

“According to who?”

“According to you,” you said. “You told me. And you never–” You never called me anything but my name when we were fucking. “You never said you liked them.”

“Well, I do,” Brian said. “And why do you care, anyway?”

“I just think it’s weird,” you said, and you were aiming for casual but you knew you sounded brash. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

“I’ve never had a girlfriend the whole time we’ve known each other,” Brian said. “You don’t know what I’m like when I’m in a relationship.”

“You shouldn’t change who you are when you’re in a relationship,” you said. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m not changing who I am,” Brian said, his face pinched. “What has gotten into you?”

“Nothing,” you said harshly. “I just think you’re lying to yourself. You don’t like calling her baby, and you don’t like being called baby, and I just think it’s weird that you wouldn’t just say that.”

“Well, I just think it’s weird you think you have the right to comment on my relationship,” Brian said. “I like calling her baby. And I like it when she calls me baby.”

“But you don’t,” you insisted. “I can hear it in your voice.”

“What?” Brian exclaimed. “What the fuck are you on about?”

“I know you, okay?” you snapped. “I know you far better than she does. And I know you don’t like pet names, but you won’t tell her for some reason.”

“I won’t tell her because I like them,” Brian said. “And she knows me, too, you know.”

“She’s known you for, like, two months! Less than!” you said. “That’s nothing.”

“Why…” Brian floundered. “There isn’t some – time limit on these things. You can’t judge if someone knows someone better just by how long…”

“I just don’t get it,” you said. “Maybe that’s my fault, but I don’t get how someone can just walk into your life and suddenly they’re the most important person you’ve ever met when you’ve only known them for five minutes.”

“You’ve clearly never fallen in love,” Brian said snootily.

“Oh, fuck off,” you scoffed. “You’re not in love with her.”

“How would you know?”

“You’ve only been dating a couple weeks! Come on, Brian. You can call each other baby all you like, but I know you.”

“I like pet names,” Brian said, his voice hard. “I just never called you one because, in case you’ve forgotten, you were never my fucking girlfriend. So, for the love of God, can you stop acting like a jealous ex.”

It was like a stab to the gut and a twist of the knife all at the same time. All you could do was sit in stunned silence.

Brian looked at you, almost like he was waiting for a response, and when he never received one, he sighed, stood, and left.

Your chin wobbled, your vision blurred, and you scrabbled for your phone in your handbag.

Roger opened the door. “Hey–”

You leapt onto him, kissing him furiously. He stumbled, but kept his balance, one arm curling around your waist and the other groping for the door, pushing it closed. You spun him around and backed him up, pressing him against the door, and ducked your head to suck at his neck, palming at him through his sweatpants.

Roger jumped. “Oh, God, okay,” he said with a surprised laugh. “You’re really…”

You nodded, and captured his lips again, nipping at his bottom lip. “I want you so bad,” you breathed. “I want you to fuck me hard, Daddy, please.”

You didn’t wait for him to reply, and kissed him. You slipped your hands into his underwear, and he tensed underneath you, surprised again.

You needed him to fuck you, to bruise you, to bite you. To make you feel wanted, needed. To mark you up, to make you scream, to make it hurt. You needed it so badly that your hands shook.

Roger put a hand to your collarbones, and you thought he was going to choke you, but instead he pushed you back, just enough to stare into your face.

“Are you sure you want to call me Daddy?” he asked unsurely. “You seem a little…”

“What?” you said.

“Not yourself,” Roger said. “Are you– Have you been drinking?”

“The fuck does that mean?” you said. “I just really need you to fuck me hard, does that not sound like me?”

“I don’t–”

“Roger,” you cut in sharply, and then quickly softened your tone into something whinier, needier, more enticing. “Daddy. I want you. Please.”

Roger’s frown never disappeared. “I don’t want you to call me Daddy,” he said.

You blinked, taken aback. “Um, okay,” you said. You could still work with that. “No Daddy.” You went to kiss him again, but he held you away.

You resisted huffing in frustration. “Roger…”

“This is about Brian, isn’t it?” he said.

“What?” you said. “No. Why would it be about Brian? I want you.”

“You’re drunk and upset and jealous, and you want me to fuck you how he used to fuck you, because you miss it.”

A slap to the face would’ve hurt less. Your hands fell limp at your sides. “What?”

“Is that not what’s happening right now?” Roger said, his hands dropping as well. “Is that not why you’re over? You went to that party, got yourself all worked up and upset, and now you want to be fucked how Brian used to fuck you?”

You blinked. “N– No,” you said, and you meant it, but the more Roger said it, the more you thought that maybe he was right, and you hadn’t even realised.

“Because it’s what it feels like,” Roger said. “It feels like I’m just an outlet for you. It’s not even about you and me anymore, it’s about you and him.”

Oh my God. You hated to admit it, but he was right. You covered your mouth with your hands, horrified at yourself. “Fuck, Roger, I…”

“I’m ending the arrangement between us,” he said simply. “It’s not fun anymore, and it’s definitely not healthy. You need time to… I don’t even know. But you need time, and I don’t really feel like being collateral damage. Especially not with end-of-year exams literally just around the corner.”

No. No, no, no, fuck, not this, anything but this.

“No, Rog, please, I’m sorry,” you said. “I wasn’t thinking, I– I can’t–” You felt tears welling up in your eyes. “Please. I…”

Roger sighed, and pulled you into a hug. You clutched onto him, and, finally, cried. “Jesus Christ,” he murmured sympathetically, stroking your hair. “This whole thing has really messed you up, hasn’t it?”

“I c– can’t lose you t– too,” you sobbed into his shirt.

“You’re not losing me. We’re still friends. It just… won’t be with the benefits anymore. For now, at least. Maybe forever, I don’t know. See how things go. But I’m never going to stop being friends with you.”

Your body shook as you cried, and Roger rubbed your back, letting you ruin his shirt.

The Bee Movie played on the TV, but your heart wasn’t in it. You leant against Roger, a cup of tea in your hands, and one in his. You were exhausted from crying, and you almost found yourself nodding off. Normally there was nothing more fun than enjoying the trials and tribulations of Barry B. Benson with Roger, but now not even casual bestiality was enough to cheer you up.

Roger didn’t say much, either. You had no idea what he was thinking, although you were pretty sure he wasn’t really watching the movie, just staring at the screen.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your voice breaking a little.

Roger sighed. “It’s okay,” he said, giving you a soft, sad smile. “I know you’re going through a tough time right now.”

“I don’t even understand why,” you said, your bottom lip trembling. Not again. “I never liked him like that, not ever. I know I never liked him like that. I didn’t want to go out on dates with him, or be his girlfriend, or any of that. So I don’t get why it – hurts so much.”

“Your thing went on for a really long time,” Roger reasoned. “And now it’s gone. I can’t blame you. I…” He bit his lip. “I… kinda miss it too, to be honest.”

You frowned at him in confusion. “You miss… Brian?”

“I miss…” Roger took a sip of his tea. “I miss the dynamic, I suppose. We actually got a lot closer because of it. And it was fun, you know? Especially the threesomes, those were really fun.”

You managed a tired laugh.

“It was just nice to have… a thing, that was ours,” Roger said. “Us three, I don’t know. This thing that was ours. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“No, it does,” you said. You paused, and then said, “You and Brian aren’t as close now?”

Roger shrugged a shoulder. “Not… really?” he said unsurely. “We haven’t really hung out a lot recently. I mean, we’ve been studying a lot, so I haven’t really seen much of anyone as of late, but, like, for a while, me and Brian hung out a whole lot, just the two of us. Guess you end up feeling closer when you have to talk about your feelings all the time. And when you see each other naked every so often.” He shot you a smile, and you smiled back. “But now it’s sort of in a weird place. I mean, none of us have seen him a lot, he’s just with Dani all day and night. Which makes sense, they’re in their honeymoon phase. But I do miss… that.”

You nodded in understanding. “It doesn’t even feel like he wants to be around me,” you said in a small voice. “Like I’m not even friends with him anymore.”

“You are,” Roger assured you. “You just… both have to learn how to be… normal friends again.”

“And us too,” you added.

Roger blinked, but nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, us, too.”

You didn’t want to say it, you knew you shouldn’t say it, but the alcohol had loosened your tongue: “You gonna miss me?”

Roger’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he took a big breath in and out, shaking his head. “Damn,” he muttered.

“Sorry, ignore me,” you mumbled. “I’m just being sad and pathetic.”

“You’re not sad and pathetic,” Roger said. “But I’m not gonna miss you, you’ll still be around.”

“You know what I mean,” you said.

“Yeah, I know,” Roger said. He sighed again. “I don’t think… it would be good for either of us if I answered that.”

You said nothing. It felt like Roger wanted to say more, but he didn’t.

“But…” You looked to him, and he looked to you. “Can we still be friends like before?” you asked him. “I mean, just – with Brian, he won’t even hug me hello or goodbye, he barely looks at me, he doesn’t want to be near me, I just–” You shook your head. “I couldn’t stand it if you did that, too. Can we at least just be friends?”

Roger nodded. “Of course,” he said.

“Yes?”

“Yes, of course,” he said again. “I promise you, okay? I like hugs just as much as you do.”

You nodded, reassured. “Thank you.”

Roger threw his arm around you and gave you a squeeze, then took his arm back.

A month and a bit ago, he would’ve left his arm there, around your shoulders. You would’ve pressed closer into him. Probably eventually would’ve lifted your head to kiss his neck, or maybe your hands – or his hands – would’ve gone wandering.

But a squeeze was something, at least, and you were grateful for it. You told yourself you were grateful for it.

Three-ish months later

The air was just starting to cool, and, for the first time in a while, you pulled on a jacket.

It had been a while since you’d seen your flat. You’d gone home for the summer – not for the whole time, you still had rent to pay and you didn’t want to waste it, but for a few weeks – which had been a welcomed change of scenery.

After how your previous semester of uni had ended, the last thing you’d wanted was to hang around the flat.

It had been an uncomfortable summer. The mid-year break, last year, you hadn’t gone home. You’d told your parents it was because of the rent thing, but in reality, it had mostly been about Roger and Brian. A month off uni, and your flatmate Lucy had gone home for the break, meaning you had a free house? That had been a wild couple of weeks.

You shook your head. Stop, you reprimanded yourself. It did you no good to reminisce. You’d had an entire summer to sort things out for yourself, to reset, and it was a bad idea to let yourself slip. You’d barely spoken to Roger or Brian all summer, just to give yourself some space.

You’d missed them. A lot. Maybe cried once or twice. Maybe more. But that was only for you to know.

You doubted that they’d missed you.

The thought still felt like a stab to the gut, and you squeezed your eyes shut, shaking your head at yourself. Stop it. Stop.

There was a knock on the front door, and you were momentarily surprised – but you knew it was Veronica. You took a moment to get your thoughts together, then hurried to the door to let her in.

She greeted you with a joyous cry of your name and a warm hug. “It’s been so long!”

The two of you rocked from foot to foot, and you breathed in her familiar smell. You hadn’t seen her since before Christmas.

When the hug eventually ended, Veronica sighed happily. “Can’t believe I’ve missed you,” she said, and you laughed, giving her a backhand slap on the arm.

“Cow,” you said.

“So you’ve kept the same place?”

“Yep,” you said.

“Lucy still your flatmate?”

“Yeah. It works well, so.”

“No, no, she’s lovely,” Veronica said with a nod. “Did she want to come to drinks tonight?”

You glanced towards Lucy’s room instinctively, even though you knew she wasn’t in there. “She’s not coming back until Wednesday, I think.”

“Ah, well, answers that question.” Veronica gave you a smile. You could tell there was a question on the tip of her tongue, and you just stood there, waiting for her to ask it.

She sighed again, resigned. She knew she’d been sprung. “I wasn’t going to ask. I– I wasn’t sure if I should.”

“I’m okay,” you said. “I’m fine.”

Veronica squinted at you unsurely, like she wanted to press you for further information, but wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “Fine?”

“It’s been a bit rough, but I’m okay,” you said.

You’d tell her the truth soon enough. You had no willpower when it came to Veronica. But you weren’t in the mood for a whole conversation right now.

“So you’re all right for tonight?”

You rolled your eyes. “Am I capable of getting drinks with my friends? Yes, I think so.”

“Even though Dani will be there?”

“Brian and Dani have been dating for, like, five months now – and don’t say it like that. Brian isn’t my ex.”

“Roger’s dating someone,” Veronica blurted.

Your heart leapt into your throat. Stop. “Oh?” you said, and it sounded warped and wonky. “Since when? Good for him. Have you met her?”

“Once,” Veronica said. “Just last week, when I dropped by the flat. Her name is–” She let out a laugh. “Actually, this is really funny. Her name is Freddy.”

You laughed. “What?” you squawked. “Freddy?”

“Freddy with a Y,” Veronica said. “Roger made that very clear when I met her. As if that changes anything.”

“God, I bet that’s confusing in bed,” you said.

“Yeah, well, I’m guessing the ‘with a Y’ part makes all the difference for Roger.”

“Freddy,” you mused. “What’s it short for?”

“No idea. But she’s not as hot as you are.”

You shot Veronica a mock glare. “Roger isn’t my ex either.”

“Still,” Veronica said lightly. She hesitated, and then said, “Have you spoken to either of them recently?”

“No, not really,” you said, as casually as you could muster. “Look, Ron, could we just… table this conversation for later? I’m not really up to it.”

“Yeah, of course,” Veronica said, waving a hand. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll keep my nose out of it. Let’s just go. Are you ready?”

You took a steadying breath. “So ready,” you said, hoping you sounded more confident than you felt.

Arriving at the local pub felt like coming home. The smell of beer, the roar of conversation, the bundles of people crowded around tables. The floor was sticky, there weren’t enough places to sit, and the prices up on the chalkboard on the wall were far too high.

You scrunched your nose. Coming home sucked.

“I forgot how much I hate this place,” you yelled into Veronica’s ear. “We need to find somewhere less popular, Jesus.”

“I know,” Veronica said. “I’ve mentioned it to John; he thinks the same.”

“Next time.”

“Yeah, next time.”

You said that every time.

Veronica corroborated her instructional texts from John with the view in front of her in order to find everyone else. They were tucked away in a corner booth, crammed into the space.

You’d had enough trouble as it was, trying to fit everyone into a booth. You couldn’t even imagine how you were going to make it work with two new people in the group.

Veronica took your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze as you neared the table.

There was John, at the end of the booth, facing you – his eyes lit up when he spotted Veronica, and began shifting over to make room for her beside him. At the end of the table, on a chair, was Freddie. He noticed John’s line of sight, and he turned to you, his smile wide.

You couldn’t really see the others. Just the back of Brian’s head. But that was hard to miss.

Freddie stood up to give you a warm hug as Veronica tossed around a few ‘hello’s and slid in next to John. “Darling!” Freddie said. “I haven’t seen you all break.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you said.

Freddie waved you off. “It’s fine,” he said. “I understand.” He glanced towards the other occupants of the booth.

“Don’t start,” you muttered, and Freddie gave your arm a swift pat.

“Speaking of which,” he said, turning. “Roger, Brian, you remember our dear friend, I’m sure?”

You resisted elbowing Freddie in the side, giving Brian and Roger tight smiles.

At the same time, your eyes landed on Dani and her browny blonde Ariana Grande ponytail and her mouse face and her curvy body pressed into Brian’s side. And beside Roger, tucked under his arm, was a blonde, tanned girl. Blue eyes, like Roger, but hers were light, strikingly so, and a perfect full face of make-up. Her brows were dark and bold, and her lips looked pouty and soft.

‘Not as hot as you were’ your arse. This girl looked like she modelled in her spare time.

Your jaw clenched. You resisted dragging Veronica away by her ear and having a word with her.

Stop it. Stop it.

“This is Freddy,” Freddie said.

“With a Y,” Roger added quickly.

“Yes, with a Y,” Freddie said dryly. “Roger’s new flame.”

“Hi,” Freddy said with a smile. Her teeth were very white. She lifted a well-manicured hand to fiddle with the silver chain around her neck.

You could see the discolouration on her knuckles. Well, at least you knew her tan wasn’t real. That was something. Wasn’t it?

No. It wasn’t. She looked incredible anyway. Didn’t even matter that she was wearing fake tan. What a stupid thing to think.

You introduced yourself.

There was a pause where no one really knew what to say next.

“Hi, by the way,” John said.

Relieved, you gave him a smile. “Hi, John, how are you?”

“Not too bad. Do you want to find a chair?”

God bless John Deacon. “Let me help you,” Freddie said, and you both began wandering through the crowd together, knowing there was no way in hell you’d be able to find a chair.

“How are you?” Freddie asked. “Actually, sod the fucking chair, let’s get a drink.”

“Sounds superb,” you said.

“Try again,” Freddie said when you’d gotten in line. “How are you?”

“Fine,” you said. “And you?”

“Good, fine,” Freddie said. “Lonely. I want a boyfriend. Everyone else is in a godforsaken relationship, so I only think it’s reasonable. Look at me, the token lonely, single homosexual in a group of straight people. Right out of an early 2000s chick flick. I may as well start wearing skinny scarves and a vest and talk about how much I love shopping. Do you think I’m sassy enough?”

“Stop it,” you said. “If you start wearing skinny scarves, I’ll strangle you with one.”

“If I start wearing skinny scarves, I’d practically be begging you to,” Freddie muttered.

“I’m sorry you’re lonely,” you said. “I could be your wingwoman, if you like. We could go out together.”

Freddie gave you a smile. “Yeah, I’d like that,” he said. His eyes scanned the chalkboard, as did yours, but it was more habit than anything else. “What did you get up to during the break?”

“Slept,” you said, and Freddie chuckled, nodding in agreement.

“Ate too much,” he added.

“Yep, that too,” you said with a laugh. “Never left the house.”

“Except to buy more booze.”

“Or take the bins out.”

Freddie laughed. “Isn’t summer wonderful.”

“Oh, it’s just perfect,” you said, and it came out so bitter, with such a sneer in your tone, that Freddie cracked up. A few heads turned, but they usually did, with Freddie.

“Did you stay here or go home?” you asked.

“Both,” Freddie said. “Mostly here, though. Just wanted to see the family for a while, but I’m far more comfortable here.”

You nodded.

“Did you talk to Brian and Roger much?” Freddie said.

You shook your head. “No.”

That was all.

“Well, shit,” Freddie said. “That’s all just completely fucked, then?”

“It’s fine,” you said. You reached the front of the line, and went to order. Freddie followed you.

You ordered a cider, then Freddie ordered a pint. “What do you think of Freddy with a Y?” Freddie asked as the bartender poured your drinks.

“I’ve barely met her,” you said. “Didn’t know she existed until Ron told me just before we left mine.”

“Jesus,” Freddie said. “You really haven’t spoken to them.”

“No,” you said. “And Roger doesn’t post much on social media, either, so. And Brian posts far too much, so I know way too much about him and Dani for my liking, which is wonderful.”

“I’m sorry,” Freddie said. “God, I’m sorry it’s all gone to shit, I really am. That’s miserable, darling.”

“It’s fine,” you said. The bartender set your drinks in front of you, and you and Freddie collected them, weaving your way back to the table.

“Did you… get around to dating much?” Freddie asked.

“Wasn’t in the mood,” you said.

Freddie said nothing. Message received.

You arrived back at the booth. While you’d gotten a drink, you hadn’t solved the seating problem.

You bunched up next to Veronica. It wasn’t comfortable, but it wasn’t unbearable.

You met Brian’s eyes across the table. He gave you a warm smile. It hurt. You hated that it hurt. “I haven’t said hi yet,” he said, like you hadn’t just gone three months without seeing or speaking to each other. “How you going?”

“Good, good,” you said, and took a swig of cider. “You?”

“Yeah, great. Get up to much?”

“Not really. Did you?”

“Not too much,” Brian said. “Dani and I took a little trip south. That was nice, wasn’t it, baby?”

“So nice,” Dani said with a cheeky, knowing little grin at Brian.

He shook his head at her, and she giggled, then reached up for a quick kiss.

You knew about the little trip south. Everybody knew about the little trip south. Brian had waxed poetry about it on Instagram for every single day they were away. “So lots of sex, then,” you said.

Veronica choked on her water, and Roger burst out laughing.

You hadn’t realised he’d been listening to the conversation.

Dani’s face was turning tomato-red, and she hid her face behind her hand. Brian managed a good-natured chuckle, albeit a slightly forced one, and you could tell he was rubbing Dani’s knee under the table.

“What, what was the joke?” Freddie said immediately.

“Nothing,” you said, and turned to Roger. “So, Freddy, with a Y, how did you and Roger meet?”

“Bumble,” Freddy said, unabashed. “About a month ago?”

“Yeah, about that,” Roger said.

“Yeah, Ron said,” you said. “That’s nice.”

“So there’s…” Roger licked his bottom lip. “There’s no one you’ve got your eye on, then?”

“No,” you said, uncomfortable. Why would anyone want you? You were messy, you were too much. You were demanding. You were easily replaced.

You took a sip of cider. Stop.

It had been three months, for God’s sake. Three months of no contact, and still you were left with an ugly, twisted feeling in the pit of your stomach after everything that had happened.

None of it had even mattered. You’d always known it had had an expiration date. You were just…

You hated feeling like this.

“Hey,” Veronica said suddenly, raising her glass of water. “Let’s make a toast, shall we? To the new year. To– to passing our classes, and to ramen, and to… fresh starts.”

Everyone raised their glasses, saying something along the lines of cheers, and began clinking their glasses together. You took a moment longer, but joined in.

Veronica met your eyes to clink her glass to yours. “Fresh starts,” she said with a small smile.

You couldn’t quite say it back, so you smiled and nodded, then took a sip of your cider.

You could feel Brian’s and Roger’s eyes on you. You pretended to be interested in something happening across the room.

God, you couldn’t wait for this chapter of your life to be nothing but a bad dream.

#try series #try verse #my writing #queen fanfiction #roger taylor x reader #brian may x reader #rpf #angst

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sincerlypadfoot · 4 years ago

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Seconds (3)

~During the time of the order of Umbridge and the dumbledore army, you have no problems summoning your Patronus, doing it on the daily, watching the dragon fly around your room, but once you see someone who catches your eye who has troubles, you’re determined to find his happy moment

Word Count-1983

Send Requests Here

My eyes flung open and excitement rushed through my body, quickly flooding away with the sound of my alarm cloak humming my whole room. “It’s Christmas,” I whispered to myself leaning over and shutting my alarm off.

I didn’t get out of bed or move around, I just enjoyed the quiet of the house, before everything went to chaos in a couple hours.

“Good morning,” Ryker whispered walking into the room, not knocking. “Millys asleep but do you want anything to eat before our family comes over with the kids?” He asked.

“Please, I’ll take whatever your cooking, Merry Christmas Ryker,” I smiled tossing my blanket over me. “I’ll be here admiring the snow outside,” I chuckled watching the slow melt hitting my window.

“I’ll start cooking, Merry Christmas to you too,” I said to Ryker crawling out of my bed and opening my window. “Hey wanna do me a favour,” I cooed at the owl that laid outside on the tree. I turned around and grabbed a wrapped present that laid in a bag carrier. “Neville Longbottom, it’s his Christmas present,” I placed the carried in the owl's claws, watching the black owl fly away quickly.

“Wanna match?” Milly croaked walking in, she walked in holding a purple and blue short Christmas dress. “You’ll just need a belt, it’s an earlier Christmas present from me,” She smiled walking into my room.

“Purple, I know blues your favourite colour,” I said walking over to Milly and pulling her into a hug. “Merry Christmas Milly,” I whispered.

“Merry Christmas Lia, go have a shower, your family will be here soon,” Milly said plugging her nose. “I can smell you from my room,” She joked smiling and walking out of the room.

I shook my head and walked towards the bathroom, getting caught up and wasting time. “Thank you!” I shouted at Milly hearing her in her bedroom just beside the shower, I heard her knock on the wall, I chuckled and continued washing my hair.

“Goodmorning,” I cheerly said to Ryker and Milly who were placing a couple things under the tree before everyone had gotten here. “How do I look?” I asked spinning around for the two.

“Like a million dollars,” Ryker said smiling. “You both look like a million dollars,” He smirked planting a kiss on Milly's cheek. “Cooking is almost done, family will be here soon, presents are planting, everything is perfect, just mom and dad won’t be here this year,” There was a hint of disappointment in his words.

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon Ryker,” Nothing in my voice helped any better when I walked over and wrapped my arms around my brother. “I’m sure,” I whispered in his ears.

The door knocked, breaking the both of us from our strange thoughts. Milly didn’t say a word but walked over to the door, leaving Ryker and I alone in the living room.

“Merry Christmas!” Luna Lovegood called out catching me off guard, I looked at her and smiled, running over and wrapping my arms around her. “Your clear of Nargles,” I heard Luna say taking a glance around my house.

“Merry christmas,” I chuckled smiling. “Where is your dad?” I asked looking around, a tall blond man who walked in. “Hello uncle Xeno,” I smiled happy wrapping my arms around him.

“Hello little one,” Xeno Lovegood smiled hugging me back. “Merry christmas,” His arms loosened and a tiny wrapped box shaped present laid in his hands. “Open it, your gonna love it,”

I took the perfectly wrapped present from my uncle and opened it up, a deathly hallow necklace laid infront of me, I smiled and took it out. “I love it,” I smiled hugging my uncle once again.

“I know you would, ever since I had met you when you were just a wee girl you loved my necklace, and I had to you your own,” Xeno said smiling. “i’m glad you like it,” he placed his hand on my head smiling down then walking away with Luna, followed by Milley.

I smiled walking towards our fireplace watching green sparks fly out, a woosh of green flew out and a plumped old woman walked out followed by three teenagers, recognizing them from schools.

“Oh my Lia, you look just the same as you did years ago,” My grandmother Lucille chirped wrapping her arms around me. “I heard about your parents, what a shame that they won’t be here this year,” I felt angry as the words came out of her mouth.

Ryker wrapped his arms around my shoulder before I could say anything else. “Hey Mema,” He said letting me go and wrapping his arms around her. “Missed you,” I heard him say, my anger left and I had felt a bit better.

“Come on, dinner should be ready soon,” I said to the group that stood infront of me, I didn’t wait for them to finish talking but walked away to our dining room were Luna, Xeno and Milly all were talking amongst themselves.

“Hey,” Milly greated pulling out the chair beside her. “Sit, we were just talk about your favorite topic, school,” I rolled my eyes and smiled, walking to the sit beside Milly and sitting down, placing my hand on my necklace that I had just gotten moments ago.

“Oh yes my favorite topic,” I mocked sitting down and having a drink of water that sat infront of me. “Continue your conversation,”

“Well,” Xeno started to say. “I hear that you made friends with that Longbottom kid Milly was saying,” My hand started patting my leg nervously.

“Yeah well I thought making new friends would be nice, I brought him to the carnival, I looked for you two but didn’t see you,” I smiled at the thought of Neville and if he had received my present yet.

“We didn’t see you either, must have missed each other,” Luna said smiling. “How is Neville, are the Broom Flies getting to him?” She asked making me tilt my head but I went with it.

“No I think he’s okay, no Broom Flies have gotten to him, how are you doing Luna?” I asked changing the topic from Neville to her.

“I’m doing good, though my shoes have gone missing again, suppose that the Nargles will have something to do with it,” Luna was the laid back cousin that I admired, she was calm and I had never seen her angry, and she always saw the good in people before the bad.

“Dinner shall be served,” Ryker happily said walking into the room, food appeared on the table and our Mema and her two grandkids we hated.

“So,” Lucille said breaking the silence at the table. “Good afternoon Luna dear and Xeno,” she nodded her head taking a bit of her food. “Any boyfriends?” her face turned to me.

“No don’t need one, I like it that way,” I bitterly smiled taking a drink of my water. Ryker kicked my feet but I hadn’t budged.

“Shame, i’m sure you parents want you to get married, have you thought about marriage yet?”

Before I had been able to answer the doorbell rang and I shot up from my seat. “I’m more than happy to grab that,” I smiled looking at Ryker and Milly then making my way to the door. “Nolans residence,”

“Lia,” Neville said catching me off guard, I double looked then smiled. “I ugh Hermione told me where to find you, thank you for the snowglobes, I brought you something,” His voice trembled as he had pulled a present out from his back.

“Neville,” I smiled stepping outside and shutting the door. “You didn’t have to,” I picked my nails a bit nervous.

“My grandma insisted, open it,” Neville pushed the gift a bit closer, I took the gift in my hands, feeling it a bit flat instantly knowing what it was and putting a bigger smile on my face.

I tossed the wrapping paper on the porch and looked at the picture frame in my hands, Neville grandmother must have taken a picture of us, I watched as Neville and I walked up the stairs with my big stuffed animal in hand, at the end with both hugged.

“I love it,” I cried out holding the picture tightly in my hand and using the rest of me to wrap my arms around Neville.

“I’m glad, I was a bit nervous, didn’t think you would like it,” Nevilles arms wrapped around me and we just stayed still for a couple seconds.

“Lia dinners getting, oh hello,” Rykers voice shot me up and I turned around looking at him. “I think we have a extra chair if you’d like to stay,” my cheeks went red.

“Neville’s grandma is waiting for him,” I started to say but stopped looking at Neville.

“Actually she’s gone visiting my parents for the night,”

“Perfect, Neville come on let me introduce you to everyone,” Ryker happily said tossing his arm over the poor boys shoulder and bringing him in the house before I could decline.

“Ryker,” I hissed picking up the wrapping and walking inside stopping the pair before entering the dining room. “Mema isn’t the nicest person, you really don’t think this through,”

“Fine,” He huffed taking his hand off Neville. “Whenever you two are ready dinner won’t be paused,”

I placed my hand on my forehead listening to Ryker walk away. “Sorry, my brother is just dumb,”

“It’s okay, you’ve said that a lot,” Neville chuckled facing me. “So, dinner sounds nice,” he smiled a bit.

“I’ll show you around first, my Mema isn’t my favorite person, I can go a bit, but Lunas here, she’s my cousin,” I turned from the dining room with Neville and walked up the stairs towards my room.

“Weird I never knew that, I guess her mom was your aunt?” Neville asked following me up the stairs.

“Yep, she was my moms sister, Luna and I were never close until hogwarts, now we’re like sisters,” I stopped and turned to Neville catching him off guard. “My room isn’t the best also, didn’t expect anyone to come in,”

Neville and I walked into my room, my owl Uni sitting on my desk asleep making me smile knowing he was already back.

“Trevor isn’t nearly as cool as your owl, look at her,” Neville said walking over at Uni who opened her eyes, cooing excitedly at the sight of Neville. “I saw her this morning at my window,”

“I just thought a snowglobe would be a nice gift, something simple,” I paused walking over to my shelf and clearing a spot. “I really do like this picture, we look nice,”

Neville walked over and stood beside me, we both looked at the picture, admiring each other. “I do too,” his eyes grazed from the picture to the corner of my bed where the pink stuffed bear laid. “And that,”

I laughed rubbing the back of my neck. “Well I guess i’ll have to face my grandmother sometime, im warning you, she says whatever she likes without a care, so i’m sorry in advance,”

Neville smiled and nodded his head, we both walked down the stairs, my hands started piking at my skin but warm hands leaned into my palm and I stopped and felt a sense of calm.

“We have a extra dinner guest,” We walked into the dinning room, everyone shot their heads in our direction, Luna and Milly smiled, she was already moved beside Ryker saving a seat for Neville and I.

“Hello Neville,” Luna greated, we sat infront of her with the food already served and on our plats. “Glad you’ll be joining us tonight,”

“Neville is it,” Lucille said leaning forward a bit and putting her hand out. “Nice to meet you, I hope your treating our Liana here very well,”

“I am,” Neville smiled shaking her head. “This looks really good, thank you for having me,” he nodded his head and started eating the food.

I smiled not helping myself, glad that everything was okay and food was infront of me, Neville I took one more glance at each other letting out a chuckle then eating again.

#neville longbottom #NevilleLongbottom x #NevilleLongbottom x you #nev #NevilleLongbottom #neville longbottom x reader

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theonewiththefanfics · 5 years ago

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The List (one-shot)

Synopsys: The Reader and Tom have been best friends for years. When she finally gets time off of Uni and comes to visit him and Harrison on the set of Spider-Man: Far From Home, she becomes great friends with all of his co-stars, much to his delight. But when he overhears a conversation between the Reader and them, he can’t help the jealousy that fills his heart. And maybe that was the final push needed for his crush on her to be revealed.

Pairing: Tom Holland x f!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT

Warnings: SMUT (thigh riding, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, y’all), overstimulation), swearing, and the usual stuff you’ve come to expect from me

Word count: 5636

“Okay, okay,” Y/N laughed before resting her head against the couch as the group waited for her answer. “Let me think…. Okay… In no particular order – Catherine Zeta-Jones… I mean I’d let that woman do anything she wanted to me. And when I say anything, I mean anything… Zac Efron, ‘cause that look in Hairspray did things to me.” To that Zendaya snorted. “Dude, I can introduce you two.” “And you’ll say what – hey this stranger like millions of others wants to fuck you ‘cause you’re on her list? If you’re down, of course.” Cackling at Y/N’s answer ‘cause it was true, Z motioned for her to continue. “Michelle Pfeiffer, because Queen.” Z, Harrison, Jacob and Angourie all nodded in unison. Jacob pressed on. “Two more.” “Okay,” Y/N chewed on her lip for a moment before settling on the last two people. “Ben Hardy ‘cause Bohemian Rhapsody was a look,” she emphasised the last word, and Anguorie groaned in agreement. “And Sebastian Stan,” Y/N finished. Z’s eyebrow raised. “Really?”

“Okay, listen, have you seen his thighs? Like… I’d ride them into the sunset if allowed. And he seems like such a sweetheart, and he cares so much about his fans, it’s the most endearing thing ever,” Y/N gushed because to be fair, she had been a fan of his since Once Upon A Time, and his version of the Mad Hatter had struck a chord. So, the fact that Tom worked with him, and they had a banter-like relationship made her heart beat faster. Just like with her friend, she was incredibly proud of him because Y/N knew how it felt to be an outcast, and having heard his struggles of integrating into a complexly new society at the horrible age of twelve made her feel for Sebastian. Teenagers were shitty people. Besides, the fact that there was a possibility she could meet him through Tom, also didn’t help with the slight obsession she had with the Romanian and his thighs. As the conversation started to dissipate, everyone chiming in on who’s on their list, Tom who’d been standing right outside the door of the trailer finally came in; his hair a completely dishevelled mess, and face a mask of calm with a small smile playing on his lips to mask the jealousy. “And what is everyone talking about?” Tom asked entering Zendaya’s trailer and flopping down next to Y/N, putting an arm behind the couch. On an instinctual level, she leaned against his side making his heart flutter before all the butterflies were squashed when Zendaya elaborated. “Her list,” Z said with a smirk pointing at the girl next to him before sipping on her drink despite it having gone stale. “Oh really?” Tom’s unruly eyebrow quirked up. “Do tell.” “Catherine Zeta-Jones, Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeffer, Ben Hardy and Sebastian Stan,” Y/N listed off the names while rotating her head from one side to the other and gave him a pointed look of ‘was that good enough? Happy?’ “Ouch, Y/N,” Tom put a hand over his heart in mock hurt, though there was some real pain mixed in there as well. “And no me?” The girl snorted and rolled her eyes. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know you have hordes of adoring fans that would love to get into your pants,” she patted his leg, “which means you are famous, but to me… you’re just Tom. The same guy I’ve known since being six, and the same guy I had to rescue from a spider two weeks ago… and I have a phobia from them.” “It was huge!” “First off, that’s what she said. And second – you call me for help?!” she exclaimed through a laugh. “Do I need to remind you of the zoo incident?” Angourie’s eyes sparkled at that. “Wait, what’s the ‘zoo incident’?” “We went to the London zoo a couple of years ago, and in the tropical house one of the big hairy spiders had somehow gotten loose, and Y/N found herself with it on her shoulder,” it was hard for Tom to keep the laughter away at first, seeing as everyone was howling, but remembering the state his friend went into, all happiness evaporated. “I had a panic attack,” Y/N expanded, shrugging as if it hadn’t been truly terrifying. She didn’t mind the others laughing about the event. Looking back on it, as much as it made her shiver, she knew there was no harm in their reaction, but Y/N would be lying if she said Tom and Harrison not laughing didn’t comfort her a bit. They knew her struggles, so it was nice of them to keep it to polite smiles. “Like to the point they had to call an ambulance because I wouldn’t stop screaming and hyperventilating,” she chuckled, but to elevate Tom’s mood ‘cause he had been so distraught that day, she nudged his shoulder. “Why do you think Spider-Man’s my least favourite superhero?” Y/N teased looking at Tom and waiting for his usually snarky response, but instead, this time all she got was a roll of his eyes as he diverted his attention to Harrison and bit down on his lip. Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at that. Obviously, she didn’t mean it, and Tom knew it. Just because she didn’t have an affinity to the eight-legged spawns of Satan, didn’t mean she hated Spider-Man, let alone Tom as the character. She couldn’t be prouder of him if she tried. “Tommy, you okay?” Y/N leaned in closer so that only he could hear her. “You know I didn’t mean it, right?” There was such concern and care in her gorgeous Y/E/C orbs that he had no choice but to melt and push down the jealousy. “Yeah, darlin’. I know.” He pecked her forehead and gave his full attention to the rest of the group. But deep down a coil of jealousy started to unfurl.

***

The next day Tom walked into the gym in a sour mood, so much so both Anthony and Sebastian stopped to look, as the boy walked over to the treadmill with slumped shoulders. So completely opposite of how he usually greeted the two with a cheery smile and handshake. Of course, all the teasing they did was in good fun, no one took it to the heart, but after Y/N had so freely talked about wanting to ride Sebastian’s thighs into the next year, all those things they'd staid kinda stung. Especially because he hadn’t been on the list, and she kept referring to him as her friend. “What’s gotten the baby in such a bitter mood?” Mackie teased as he added more weights to Sebastian’s bar. “Girl trouble?” “Actually yeah,” Tom confessed putting the water bottle in the holder, and then he groaned. “Massive girl trouble.” He heard his two fellow actors sigh. A loud ‘clank’ echoed through the room, and then they were next to him. “Spill,” Sebastian nudged his chin in Tom’s direction, making him huff and cross his arms. “Well, she came to visit me while we shoot the movie,” he started leaning against the side of the treadmill, “and she’s getting along incredibly well with everyone which I’m totally happy about, but then last night, Haz, Daya, Jacob, Angourie and Y/N-“ “She the girl?” Mackie needed clarification. Tom nodded and then continued. “They were hanging in Daya’s trailer waiting for me to finish up, and as I was walking over to them, I heard them talking about her… list...” “Five celebs she’d do if given the chance?” “Yeah,” Tom confirmed, and Mackie nodded like it was the most understandable thing. “And the thing is… well, I’m not on the list… but Sebastian is.” A teasing smirk pulled on the brunet’s mouth. “I am?” “Yes, and I’m not going to go into detail, ‘cause I don’t need those flashbacks,” the Brit immediately said before either man could open their mouths and start pressing for the nitty gritty info. “But when I asked why no me, she said ‘cause I’m ‘just Tom’.” Anthony shrugged, the water in his bottle sloshing around. “And what’s so bad with that?” “I’ve been flirting with her for the past three years. We’ve even kissed! And we both were sober when we did it!” Tom groaned throwing his head back in frustration. “I just don’t understand it...” Anthony had a sympathetic look on his face, because again – all the teasing came from a place of love and respect, but there was nothing fun in seeing Tom so helpless and beaten down. “Have you considered that she just might not see you that way?” “Like a celebrity? Yeah, no she said she doesn’t care about this whole Marvel shit and all, that I’m just Tom to her, but…” he huffed, “that’s what’s bothering me. I’m ‘just Tom’ and I don’t wanna be ‘just Tom’. I wanna be more.” “Or,” Sebastian raised his eyebrows at Anthony in a way that said ‘don’t completely crush the kid’, “she could be completely oblivious to what you're doing. Listen,” he straightened out and wiped away a trail of sweat from his forehead, “I was once trying to flirt with a girl, a friend of mine, much like Y/N is yours, and I thought I was being very obvious. Which I was, but the problem wasn’t with the hints, it was that she was totally clueless. It took me actually saying to her face ‘hey, I really like you, and I wanna take you out for dinner, and maybe have a relationship with you’ before she caught on.” Tom bit at the inside of his cheek before looking up at the two men. “Do you really think that could be it? That she’s just not picking up on the hints?” “I dunno, man,” Sebastian shrugged, and Mackie had the same unknowing look on his face. “What do you have to lose though?” With that said, the two retreated to resume their workout but kept a close eye on the boy. “Her,” Tom whispered under his breath as he thought over the advice and got prepared to run. “I have everything to lose.”

***

It was almost two weeks after the conversation about the list, and Y/N’s time in Austin was running out before she had to get back to London and Uni. Which meant Tom’s time to confess was running out as well. Who knows who she could meet while back in England, and while he was stuck filming? Once again, they were all hanging out, now with the addition of Tony, which didn’t help Tom’s mood despite everyone relaxing. Y/N’s list had been brought up again, and although the two were gushing over Catherine Zeta-Jones and how Michael Douglas should watch out, all Tom could think of was how she had practically drooled over Sebastian and his thighs. “We should all go out clubbing!” Z suddenly exclaimed jumping up from the couch and grabbing her purse, bringing Tom out of his wallowing. “And that’s my cue to leave,” was Y/N’s response to the invitation. A plethora of ‘no’ and ‘boo, you bore’ and ‘what!’ rung through the room, but she just shook her head with an affectionate smile. “Clubs are not my scene, like whatsoever. Just ask Tom and Haz how many times they’ve tried and failed to get me out on a Friday night.” Everyone’s expecting eyes befell on the boys. Harrison was the one to respond. “All of them.” Y/N just raised her shoulders. “I’m a bore, what can I say.” While a few of their gang still tried to coerce her to join, she was steadfast on going back to the hotel and getting some sleep. As she stood up from where she had been nestled in Tom’s side, her hips and spine popped making her release a satisfied groan, but that also drew Tom’s attention, specifically to how her bright yellow sundress rode up her body a bit. It took everything in him not to moan at how soft the back of her thighs looked, but ever the good friend, he stood up as well and told her he’d drive her to the hotel. “Come on,” Y/N sighed giving him a smile, “I can just call a taxi. I don’t wanna keep you from all the fun, just because I’m a buzzkill.” Tom just shook his head, dead set on getting her there. “I invited you all the way out here. What kind of a best friend would I be if I let you just leave on your own?” “A normal one that doesn’t want to miss out on all of the fun with his other friends?” “Or a normal one that wants to make sure his friend gets back to her hotel safely?” Y/N chuckled as the two of them made their way downstairs and to his car. “And a taxi wouldn’t do that?” “Nope,” Tom smirked and skipped ahead opening the door for her. But that’s where the light-heartedness ended. The second he was in the car and the ignition was on, a tense atmosphere rolled over them. He wouldn’t speak to her, instead just kept pursing and biting his lips while Y/N kept glancing at her friend, but he wouldn’t even spare a second. She had talked to Harrison about Tom acting a bit off the past couple of weeks, and although the two were best friends as well, she was definitely closer with the brunet than the blond. “I dunno,” Harrison had shrugged. “He’s acting off, I won’t deny that, but he hasn’t said that anything’s bothering him.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Of course, something's bothering him.” “But what can we do unless he talks about it?” Harrison shrugged. And he was right. If Tom wouldn’t say what was wrong or why he was pushing the two of them away, she didn’t know how to help. So, when he stopped in the car park of her hotel, the two moving up to her room with that awkward silence still between them like a wall, she had had enough. “Are you okay?” Y/N asked biting her lip and crossing her arms after she dropped her purse onto the sofa. Tom had gotten her the VIP suite much to her chagrin, but even being as exhausted and upset as she was now, the bed seemed lumpy and uninviting. “You’ve been pulling away, and I don’t know what I did wrong, but I need you to tell me so I can fix it.” “Nothing’s wrong,” he mumbled brushing a hand through his hair. “I dunno what you’re on about.” Frustration was boiling in her veins. “No there is something wrong. You’ve been off since that night in Z’s trailer.” And then it dawned on her. “Tom, you know it was a joke, right? About hating Spider-Man.” Y/N was terrified he had actually taken the comment to the heart. As she was about to reach out for him, wrap the boy in her embrace he took a step back. “You think it’s about that?” his eyebrows shot up so high in his forehead they almost disappeared in his hairline. “Un-fucking-believable.” Y/N scoffed. “I’m not a fucking mind reader. So, unless you tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help.” “You know what,” Tom closed his eyes and raised his hands in dismissal, “forget about it. Doesn’t fucking matter.” “Of course, it does! We are best fucking friends!” she exclaimed unable to comprehend why Tom was pushing her away. “And I care for you! We tell everything to each other, so fucking talk to me!” “I don’t wanna be your best friend anymore! I’m fucking in love with you!” A small, soft ‘you what now?’ fluttered through the air as Y/N stood in front of him with her mouth agape. “I’m in love with you!” Tom cried. “I’ve been in love with you for five years now! And for the past three years, I’ve been flirting with you, but I can’t take it anymore. I can’t do this! Why can’t you see it?! Why can’t you ever see me?!” With every spoken word, Y/N was moving closer and closer calling out his name, but he wouldn’t stop. Years of pent up emotions were finally flowing freely, and you can’t stop a river from rushing to the sea. “I’m always there for you! I’ve always been there! When it’s a broken heart, a broken arm or just a shitty day, it’s always been me that makes you feel better! And yet you’ve never been able to fucking see me!” his hands went up to pull at the messy curls, eyes shut as tears rolled down in an endless stream. “And I can’t take it anymore! I need you to know, I just-“ his chest rattled as he pulled in a breath, completely unaware that Y/N was right in front of him. “I can’t keep living with this pressing down on me, when I know we could be happy together, when I know I can love you like no one e-“ “Tom!” she yelled right into his face. As he slowly lifted his gaze, two tears streaming down his high cheekbones she wiped them away with the tenderest of touches. “Stop talking and just kiss me,” the plea was barely audible, but he heard it. He would’ve heard it over the howling of a tornado or the crashing of waves. It was a plea he never thought would ever be uttered, but there was no way in hell he’d ignore it. For a moment he was stunned, brain processing the fact Y/N had actually said that he should kiss her, but then she moved forward more, Tom’s hands wrapping around her waist on instinct. “Kiss me,” her lips brushed right against his, and that’s when his mind cleared from the fog, and his mouth was on Y/N’s. It was messy, a clash of tongues and teeth as years of hidden love spilt over the surface and into the heart of the other, filling them to the brim like wine filled a cup. They were grasping at one another in a desperate manner, trying to touch everywhere at once. Stumbling back, Tom flopped down on the edge of the bed, bringing Y/N to straddle him. “I wanna ride your thigh,” she moaned as he nibbled on her neck leaving purple marks in his wake. “Really?” the question was muffled from where his mouth was attached to her skin. “You sure it isn’t Sebastian’s thigh you wanna ride into the sunset?” His sass wasn’t something she wanted to deal with, especially as the ache between her legs became more and more and more unbearable, so she bit out, “keep talking like that, and it will be.” The rough grasp around Y/N’s hips as he flipped her leg over his and ground his knee upwards towards her crotch was enough of an answer as to what he thought of the statement. “Not a chance, darlin'. Not a fucking chance.” “I’m just saying,” Y/N moaned out as Tom’s hands rolled her hips forward and backwards on his thigh, “you just spilt out your heart to me, and then come after with the sass?” He groaned as her teeth latched onto his shoulder before her tongue soothed the bite. “You deserve it for not realising what’s in front of your eyes.” Tom could feel the wet patch of where Y/N’s arousal had soaked through her panties and onto his jeans, and that just made him flex the muscle more, making her moan his name into his ear. “Feel good, love?” All Y/N could do was sigh in pleasure. Slowly, gently as she was still grinding against his thigh inching closer and closer to the inevitable release, Tom took his hands away from her hips and placed them at her back to unzip the dress. It pooled around her sides like a pond of sunshine, and when he lifted his gaze up, his knee jerked quite literally, giving Y/N that final push that made her tumble over. As she rode out the waves of her first orgasm, Tom’s mouth watered at the sight before him – her completely naked chest. In complete awe, his palms trailed up Y/N’s waist sending another shiver down her spine, as they skimmed across her ribs, under her breasts before cupping them and rolling her nipples between his fingers. He was so enamoured with bringing Y/N to the edge, that he didn’t even notice how much he needed to cum himself until she palmed him through the black jeans while his mouth had been covering her collarbones with hickies. “Shit,” Tom hissed as Y/N unbuckled the belt and opened the zipper and the button alleviating some of the tension. Lightly she raked her fingers down his stomach, over his abs and left red marks on the skin of his hips before dipping below the waistband of Tom’s boxers to grab at his length. Another hiss made its way into the air as Y/N scraped the nail of her thumb against his tip smearing the precum down his cock. Tom attached his mouth to her neck sucking against her sweet spot as she slowly worked her hand over him, just enjoying the moment. It felt surreal for both of them. Not for a second did either think they’d end up in a position like that – with Y/N moaning Tom’s name as his lips travelled down her collarbones and to her breasts and with Tom doing everything possible as to not cum in his pants because her hand was pure magic. “You keep going like that,” he whispered and bit at the underside of Y/N’s boob as his fingers gave a harsh tug on her nipples, “and it’ll all be over right now.” She moaned at the sting of where he’d bitten her but was now licking the pain away. “And we don’t want that do we?” her voice was hoarse already. Tom couldn’t wait for what was about to become of her. Pushing away from him, Y/N stood on the floor and let the dress drop, leaving her in white cotton panties. They were definitely not sexy or even remotely attractive. In fact, they were the most basic ones she had because she totally did not think that’s how her night would go, but Tom didn’t seem to care one bit. His chocolate eyes, already dark from the lust, became like a void looking at Y/N. A black lace thong or waist-high period ones with stains – he didn’t care. His shirt practically flew off of him as he stood up and smashed his lips against hers, needing to have that constant contact, and while his hands roamed and dipped all around her body, fingers brushing against her clit through the fabric, Y/N got rid of Tom’s jeans. She was just about to push against his chest to make him drop on the bed and take off his boxers when he slid down onto his knees in front of her and placed open-mouthed kisses to the inside of her thighs. “Shit, Tommy…” Her hands wove into the brown locks and pushed them away from his face so she could see his eyes that never left her face. “Let me make you feel good,” he mouthed the words against the inside of her thigh inching his way closer to where Y/N needed him the most. “Let.” Closer. “Me.” Another inch. “Make.” One more. “You.” Almost. “See.” Right there. “The stars.” And he placed his lips right on her clothed clit. By that point, Y/N would’ve been a sobbing mess from the neglect if not for the need to keep her body upwards as to not crush Tom. “Please,” she whimpered brushing his hair away from his forehead, and that one little word was enough for him to roll down her underwear, mouth still latched onto the supple skin of her thighs. It was enough to grab her by the waist and pull her down to sit on his lap as he quickly discarded his own offensive piece of clothing. It was enough to make his member violently twitch against his stomach at the thought of her dripping cunt wrapped around him. Gently Y/N rocked back and forth to coat him in her slick, mouths entwined in a dance when his eyes sprung open. “Wait, wait, wait, condom,” Tom took his lips away from Y/N’s, but she was quick to bring him back by saying "it’s okay. I’m on the pill and clean.” “Are you – are you sure?” there was such worry in his gaze, her heart skipped a beat. “Because we can wait, we don’t have to do anythi-“ Her lips interrupted his ramblings once again. “Make love to me, Tom.” “Okay.” Internally he scolded himself because ‘okay? Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with?’ though the gentle smile on Y/N’s face calmed his thundering heart, and as he muttered out an “I’m also clean”, and she replied with an “I trust you” while climbing in his lap, he swore his heart was on the verge of giving out. The sigh both of them let out was filled with pure relief. Relief that the ache was about to be quenched, relief that they were together in this, relief that they both felt the same way. Relief that it was all out on the table and there was no turning back. One of Tom’s hands rushed up to his curls and fisted them, eyes squeezed shut as he strained to stay composed, to give Y/N time to adjust to the intrusion. “Fuck,” he whispered as she leaned down and rested her forehead against his peck, trying to accommodate to the size. “You good there, darlin'?” “Give me a moment, just a bit more,” Y/N’s breath was shaky as she whimpered. “As much as you need… we don’t have anywhere to rush to,” and that brought a small smile on his lips. They had all the time in the world. Another minute passed before Y/N rolled her hips a bit, startling Tom with the sudden movement and eliciting a whimper from his throat. All of it was unhurried and soft, the movements deliberately slowed down so the two could feel the other. She moaned at how full she felt; all of the ridges and veins of Tom perfectly fitting inside of her and not just that. As he intertwined their hands together bringing their lips in for a kiss, all of the pieces just fit. Every time they would hang out and hold hands, Y/N would marvel at how natural and good it felt. How easily her heartbeat synched up to his during their Friday movie nights when her head rested on his chest. And that one time when they’d kissed at a bar, his lips had moulded to hers perfectly. They were perfect for one another, and Y/N wanted to scream at how oblivious she’d been. As much as he wanted to close his eyes and just allow himself to feel everything, Tom couldn’t. His mind screamed to not even blink, to not miss a second of what was happening, to take in the full spectrum of the gorgeous sight on top of him. But he was just human, and sometimes pleasure could be overwhelming. The way Y/N clasped and fluttered around him, her soft breaths echoing all throughout the room like a symphony made Tom squeeze his eyes shut and rest his head against her chest. Her fingers carded through his hair, pulling at the strands as if to get him closer than he already way. Tom’s hands had most definitely left imprints on Y/N’s hips, and they became harsher as he felt himself near his peak with every single thrust. But she wasn’t there yet. And he wasn’t about to finish without her tumbling over first. Detaching his lips from the valley of her breasts, Tom licked the pad of one of his thumbs and sneaked it between their moving bodies, pressing it ruthlessly against her clit. Y/N choked on a breath at his touch because it was the thing, she needed to release all over his cock. The incredible tightness Tom felt made a groan rumble through his chest, and with two more thrusts, he spilt all of himself inside her. They were trembling as they helped one another to ride out the waves of pleasure, and once Y/N came down from her peak, she slumped over in his hold, a soothing hand running up her shivering back. Gently, Tom helped her roll to the bed and off of him, not once detaching his mouth from her neck, words of praise and love being whispered in her ear. He was just about to stand up from the bed and go to the bathroom to grab a damp washcloth and clean them up when his eyes trailed to her core and fixed on how his seed dripped out of her. “Fuck, you look so good like this,” Tom moaned leaning back down, a finger slipping over her folds and mixing up the white and clear liquids. “But I bet you taste even better.” And then he dove in. Despite Y/N’s core spazzing around nothing from the overstimulation, he didn’t let her shimmy away. Instead, his biceps flexed, and his hold became as strong as iron, as he pulled her harder against his mouth and kept on his assault. Expertly his lips wrapped around her clit creating an airtight seal as he sucked on it, sending Y/N spiralling. Her back arched up from the bed, both hands grabbing at the pillow behind her head for some sort of support because there was nothing left to tether her to the real world. Her mouth opened in a silent scream, Y/E/C eyes that had been locked onto Tom during the whole ordeal rolled to the back of her head as she cummed for the third time that night. As the euphoria rippled through her veins, Y/N was finally able to find her voice and the most guttural scream of Tom’s names split the night air into two, a hand fisting in his hair to keep him there between her legs. Tom’s whole jaw was a mess as he crawled up Y/N’s body leaving sloppy kisses all over before he could plant a passionate kiss on her lips. She was still floating, still somewhere in space, but had enough consciousness to grant his tongue access and wrap her hands around his neck, as the taste of him and herself invaded her mouth. “Been wanting to do that for a while,” he muttered letting his lips kiss her chin and cheeks while his palms soothingly rubbed her quaking thighs. “Well, you're welcome to any time,” Y/N chuckled, mind still completely dazed. She let herself relax for a moment, and in the meantime, Tom laid down beside her. With both of them still completely naked, he brought her in his embrace and burrowed his nose in her hair, just to stay in the blissful moment. “Tom?” Y/N hummed turning her head to the side. “Can you let me go for a sec? I need to pee; don’t want a UTI.” Reluctantly he pulled his arms away from her torso, but not before giving her boob a playful squeeze making her swat his hand away. Y/N stood from the bed and immediately collapsed onto the floor. He was jumping to the rescue instantly. “Shit, are you alright?” But Y/N was full on laughing, hands clutching her stomach and legs curling up to her chest, tears streaming down her face. “O-oh my god! I’ve never been unable to fucking walk after sex!” An adorable cherry blush rose and spread over Tom’s chest and cheeks at the remark. Knowing he was the cause of her happiness and also her inability to walk after their escapades, made his heart stutter, and he had to mask his exhilaration and shyness with a chuckle. “Can you help me get up?” she extended both hands out to Tom. “I still need to pee.” He climbed out the bed and grabbed Y/N’s palms that fit so flawlessly in his and gently pulled her up. “You good?” he watched her take two steps while still holding onto her. But she seemed to have regained some control over her limbs so with a small “yeah, thank you,” and a peck on his lips, she went into the bathroom. After doing her deed and having thrown a damp towel to Tom, Y/N scrambled back into the once lumpy looking bed that was now like a cloud, mostly because of who her pillow was. “So,” he smirked looking down at her, trailing a finger over her bicep, “am I on the list now?” “Nope,” Y/N popped the ‘p’ and cuddled up closer to Tom. “Still don’t consider you a celebrity. Besides… those people are on there for a theoretical ‘what if they were down for it and I had the chance’ scenario… hopefully, this wasn’t a one-time thing, and you’ll be down for the rest of our lives.” Tom snorted, a lightness filling his chest. “Darling, now that I’ve finally made you understand that I’m in love with you, I intend on making sure you remember that.” Y/N couldn’t help the quirk of her lips, and she pecked his chest. “So,” she breathed out, “who’s on your list?” “You,” Tom answered in full seriousness. “Just you. Have been since well… since like five years ago when I fell in love with you.” Y/N slapped his shoulder and shook her head as she laughed. “I’m calling bullshit on that one.” But he just shrugged. “Games or not,” his lips skimmed over hers, “‘what ifs’ or not. The only one I need or want is you.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan@nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae

A/N: sooo, I’ve been working on another Endgame fix-it-fic and it’s around 8k words rn... and it’s barely halfway done :) I feel like I’m going to combust. Sorry for the absence, it’s just a lot to write as was this one, but I hope you liked this :D

P.S. tell me what you think :)

P.S.S. my tags are always open/ requests are closed

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