#also i have work tomorrow and it’s 12 am and i’m wide awake rip

[fakeoutbf]

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[collapsingintojupiter]

Sunshine and Stormclouds: Chapter 15

Catch up: Chapter 1  Chapter 1.5  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14

Summary:

It’s Roman’s birthday. Though his biological parents may not be there for him, his friends are. 

Characters: Roman Sanders, Emile Picani, Scout (oc), Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, (baby) Patton.

TW: This is little more than tooth-rotting fluff. You’re good (though of course, message me if you’d like me to put something here).

---

    It had been a long day; following an even longer night. Virgil slumped against the couch, eyes closed, his hoodie drawn up over his shoulders. Patton busied himself on the floor nearby, dressing up his bunny in a little blue doll’s dress. Several other stuffed animals that Remy had bought (though the pink bunny by far remained his favorite) lay scattered around him, and a few more assortments of doll’s clothing. 

    Remy said that Patton had a good fashion taste. Even Logan couldn’t disagree. 

    Virgil’s eyes were shut, but he was awake - unfortunate as that was - listening to Patton as he finished arranging the dress on his bunny. Once he was happy with it, he moved on to a puppy dog plush. This one he wrapped - awkwardly, with his chubby fingers - in a sparkly bit of pink cloth. Patton fiddled with that until he was content, talking to “Acha” as he arranged the scarf around the dog’s neck and body. 

    Then, a knock sounded at the door. 

    “Hrggyph,” Virgil muttered to nothing in particular, and slowly opened an eye. The bit of pale pink material he saw through part of the visible window was definitely not Roman’s, and Logan wouldn’t be caught dead in such a vibrant color. 

    So who...

    Wonder if they’ll go away, Virgil thought tiredly. A few seconds later, however, whoever it was knocked again. Dammit.  

He sighed. Slowly, he picked himself up from the couch, and Patton jumped up to grab his arm as he started for the door. 

    “Is Daddy home?” he asked, grabbing Virgil’s hand in one of his little ones. His dog plush dangled precariously from the other, the pink tip dragging on the floor.

    “I don’t think so, buddy,” Virgil said. Patton turned and held up his arms; his father smiled to himself as he picked the boy up. He opened the door. 

    “Oh, you’re home!” The excited voice belonged to somebody Virgil had seen before, but he wasn’t quite sure who. It was a younger boy, about Roman’s age, with crooked glasses, curly hair the color of rust, and soft brown eyes. He wore a pale pink sweater, black jeans, and a bright smile. Behind him stood another kid, though the last time Virgil saw them, he was pretty sure they’d been a pirate. Now however, they wore wearing a button-up covered in stars, ripped jeans, and converse that had been painted in a familiar style. Over all that, a too-big camo jacket that clashed with everything rested on their shoulder. 

    “Emile?” Virgil asked at last. “And...Scout?”

    “That’s us,” Scout answered with a nod. They nudged Emile, who started and blinked before nodding.

    “Right! Uh, Mr. Virgil, I think you remember us from that time we were at your house back on Halloween?” Virgil nodded, and his smile somehow got wider. “Awesome! Um, so...this might be a bit weird, but Roman’s birthday is tomorrow, and we’re...uh, we’re trying to plan something special for him. And he talks about you guys all the time, um...do you think you could help us?”

    ...forget sleep. Sleep could wait. 

    “Come on in,” Virgil said. He turned, gently setting Patton down so he could pull out his phone. Scout and Emile quickly knelt down, keeping his son busy as he placed a call to Remy. 

    “Hey, I need you over here stat,” he said as soon as the barista answered. 

    “Is something wrong?” he asked. 

    “Nothing bad, Rem,” Virgil assured. “Um, Emile and Scout are here; they told me Roman’s birthday is tomorrow. We’re gonna need your help.” 

    Remy’s response was instant.

    “Say no more, I’m on my way,” he said. Before Virgil could say anything else, he hung up. 

    “Who was that?” Scout asked as he put his phone back in his pocket. Virgil chuckled. 

    “You remember the Dragon Witch on Halloween?”

    “Yeah?”

    “He’s on his way now. Much better at this stuff than I am.” Virgil checked his watch, hid a yawn, then glanced at the two kids again. “My husband should be back in about an hour from school. He’ll also be more than willing to help. Don’t worry, we’ll get this figured out.”

    “Yes!” Emile grinned widely, wiggling in excitement. “We’re gonna make Roman so happy!”

    Virgil felt his heart warm as he sat down with the kids to wait, whereupon Patton came over and crawled into his lap. “Where is Roman now?” he asked, helping his son sit up. 

    “He said he had to help his mom with something,” Scout said. Their voice sounded tense; like they knew what he did - what he knew only because of the horrible nights he’d faced alone, with drunken laughter downstairs and his stomach cringing with hunger. Virgil shook his head violently, and a shiver twirled down his spine. He focused instead on staring at Scout’s shoes. They were black, spots of paint that looked like stars and planets. He bet it was Roman’s work.

    Soon enough, someone knocked at the door again.

    “The Dragon Witch!” Emile exclaimed, and jumped from his seat. The knock came again, before Remy flung the door open and strode inside with a grin and a wink. 

    “Well well well,” he said. “I hear there’s a birthday party we need to plan.”

    “Hell yeah,” Scout said, and Emile grinned. 

    “It’s Roman’s birthday tomorrow, and we wanna do something special for him,” he explained. Remy nodded. 

    “Good. He needs good friends like you,” he said. He looked at Virgil. “I think it’s time to go shopping. We’ll get the supplies…” he glanced at Scout and Emile, “...when you two get out of school tomorrow, I’ll pick you up. We’ll set everything up then for Roman.”

    “How will we get him over here?” Virgil asked. 

    “He’s your babysitter, you tell me.”

    “That could work.” Virgil nodded, taking Patton in his arms as he stood up. “Alright, so…”

    “We need to divide and conquer,” Remy said. “Decorations and preparation, and gifts.”

    “Logan’s very good at that,” Virgil said. “-Decoration, I mean, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to do it for Roman.”

    “I’ll text him. Scout, Emile - what do you two want to help with?”

    “I’m good at decorations,” Emile said. Scout nodded. 

    “That he is. And I know what he likes.”

    Alright - so Emile, you’ll be with me, then, and Scout will go with Virgil. Sound good to you?”

    The two kids nodded. 

    “Excellent! Let’s get this boy of ours a birthday party!”

---

        What the hell was so special about a birthday, anyway? Roman sighed, burying his head in his arms. At the front of the classroom, a history teacher droned on about something he didn’t remember; wouldn’t remember. Recently his mother had gotten a job, somehow, and was now even nastier than usual when she wasn’t drunk. Roman didn’t want to go home; he was tired; and everything ached. 

    At least...at least, he got to babysit Patton again today. Roman stared at his fingernails; at the chipped edges, and ignored his classmates. The teacher continued to drone. The clock was getting closer to three, but it wasn’t there yet. 

    Finally, the bell rang. 

    Roman let out another sigh; he got his backpack and slung it around his shoulder, and started tiredly for the door. 

    Outside it was frigid, and though his jacket was warm it wasn’t warm enough. He’d forgotten his warmer one. Roman wondered how the puppy was; how Emile was. Briefly, the thought allowed him to smile. Maybe Remy would be at Virgil and Logan’s house, and let him see Prince. That would be nice. He reached up, tracing the embroidered letters with his finger. Prince. 

    He didn’t feel like a prince. 

    He couldn’t feel much of his hands or face by the time he came to the street where the Sanders lived, kicking at stones as he passed Mr. D’s house. He saw the older man in the window, staring at him. There was something unsettling about it, that he couldn’t put words to. Roman shivered and continued. 

    He stopped at the familiar blue door, adjusted his backpack straps, and knocked. 

    “SURPRISE!” The enthusiastic shout ripped him out of his thoughts with a force that nearly knocked him sideways; as it was Roman jumped, letting out a startled yelp. 

    “Happy birthday!” Emile and Scout shrieked in unison, sharing excited smiles as they rushed forward to greet him. Roman’s eyes widened, and he found himself laughing as they hugged him - Emile’s gentle touch, and Scout’s bone crushing grip.

    “You-you guys knew?” he asked at last, overwhelmed by the streamers and people, and Logan and Virgil smiling at him...and was Remy holding a cake?

    “Of course we did!” Scout laughed and punched his shoulder, then grabbed his hand and tugged him inside. “C’mon, you gotta try the cake we made. Well, Emile made it. Either way it’s good.”   

    Something small and furry ran up to him, barking and wagging its tail. 

    “PRINCE!” Roman yelped. He dropped to his knees by the puppy’s side, and it leapt into his lap to enthusiastically lick his face. He cradled the pup in his arms, gently running his hands along its soft black and brown fur. Prince was already bigger than it had been when he’d found it, with floppy ears and a goofy smile.

    “We think he’s a mutt,” Remy had said. Roman didn’t care - he loved the pup regardless.

    “Happy birthday to you…” his eyes widened as the others started singing to him, and he scrambled to his feet with Prince still in his arms--holy shit, he thought. How did they all have such beautiful voices? Logan, the stiff teacher and Virgil...their voices swelled in a perfectly complimenting harmony, leading the group in the song. Remy’s voice followed, a pure tenor; and Emile - though his voice was softer than the others, he sounded just like an angel to Roman. 

    He tried not to cry but he did, and as the others stopped singing Scout grabbed him in a hug, letting him bury his face in their sweatshirt. There they held him until he was breathing steadily again, and they let go; the others had gathered in the kitchen and smiled at him. 

    “Hope you’re hungry Roman!” Remy announced, and gestured to the dining room table where several boxes of pizza and tubs of ice cream had been lined up in a neat row. Roman’s jaw dropped, and the others grinned. 

    “Everybody get your fill; then we’ll meet in the living room. We got a movie ready to play and presents ready to open.”

    “Presents!?” Roman blurted, then slapped a hand over his mouth. Virgil chuckled good-naturedly, and even Logan smiled. 

    “That’s right!” Remy said. “Just for you, my boy!”

    “Let’s get pizza!” Emile took Roman’s hand, and he felt himself melting into the other boy’s embrace as he pulled him towards the table. “Look, see? We ordered your favorite!”

    “Olive pizza!” Roman’s face broke into an open-mouthed look of amazement, and after gently setting Prince down he reached out and piled several slices onto his plate. Scout and Emile joined him; Remy followed with a wide smile, and Virgil and Logan took up the line in the back. Balloons crowded against each other on the ceiling; their strings dangled down in front of him. Roman looked up, and shades of gold and white and red looked back. He smiled. 

    “Guess what movie we’re gonna watch?” Emile asked as they sat down. Roman raised an eyebrow at him, unable to contain the happy expression on his face. 

    “What movie?” he asked. Scout sat down on his other side, yawning and leaning against his shoulder. Emile leaned against his other side, and gave him a look to melt his heart all over again. 

    “Beauty and the Beast!” he giggled. “Your favorite!”

    “How did you-”

    “I told him,” Scout said, grinning at the look of dumbfoundment on his face. They took a bite out of their mushroom pizza (ew) as Virgil and Logan entered. They took the other sofa, seating Patton between them with his little slice of cheese pizza. Remy was the last to come in, pepperoni his choice of the evening. He sat down, and Virgil got the remote and started the movie. 

    It was better than Roman remembered. The colors seemed brighter, and better, and warmer. Maybe that was Scout and Emile, leaning against him as if to chase away the cold that had settled into his bones, or Emile’s laughter that was soft and sweet like bells; like sugar pastries and autumn mornings where the sun’s warmth is gentle on your back. Scout’s, on the other hand, was sharp, like dogs barking in the dead of night and icicles shattering on the sidewalk. 

    He loved them both. 

    Roman knew what Scout knew though, that he was hopelessly in love with the Picani boy. He loved everything about him - his soft curls, and big eyes, and round glasses that always sat crookedly on his nose no matter how many times he fiddled with the frames. He loved his smile, and his laugh, and his voice.

    And when the other boy leaned against him, and gently reached out to hold his hand...Roman felt like he knew what Heaven was. 

    Scout glanced at him, chuckled to themself at his happy expression, and turned back towards the TV. Together they watched the story play out, laughing and joking and sharing goofy smiles with each other as they discussed the scenes. They all booed at Gaston, and agreed that the candlestick and clock were very much gay. 

    And then, all too soon, it was over. The credits rolled and Roman let out a soft sigh, feeling Emile’s chest rise and fall as he breathed - fast asleep against his shoulder. Their paper plates were stacked on the coffee table - the pizza long gone - and Virgil held Patton. The little boy had also fallen asleep, and slept contentedly in his father’s arms. 

    “I’ll go put him in his room,” Virgil said at last, his voice soft. “Then you can open your presents, Roman.”

    The presents! Roman realized, suddenly, that he’d forgotten all about those. Remy noticed the look on his face and laughed, which startled Emile awake. He muttered something under his breath, yawned, and looked up into Roman’s eyes. 

    God he’s so cute. 

    Roman smiled at him, and Emile smiled back. Then he reached up, and lightly tapped his nose. 

    “Boop!” he giggled. Roman felt his face turn an embarrassing shade of red, and he ducked to try and hide it - which would’ve been fine, had Emile’s hand not gotten tangled up in his hair. The next thing he knew they were both doubled over with laughter, and Emile was attempting to squeak out an apology in between gasps for air. When they finally recovered Roman saw Scout, leaning back and shaking their head; they were laughing too, and Remy and Logan shared a look that was both amused and affectionate. Virgil came back into the room, saw the spectacle, and let out a sigh. He too, however, failed to hide a smile as he sat down. 

    Emile struggled to compose himself with the others, one hand clasping Roman’s shoulder. His glasses looked more crooked than ever; his messy curls tangled and dangling over the rims. Eventually, he pulled himself upright. 

    “Present time!” he yelped, and burst out laughing again. Roman and Scout joined in, as the adults brought out a small collection of somethings and set it on the floor and coffee table in front of him.

    Once he’d finally calmed himself, Roman slid off the couch to kneel in front of his presents. Remy set Prince down and the puppy ran over to join him - his heart felt so warm and full he thought it might burst, looking over the shiny wrapping paper and the kind expressions in Virgil and Logan’s eyes. Gingerly, he reached out and took the first gift. 

From Remy, it said. He gently pulled away the red and gold wrapping, and his eyes widened at the colors upon colors upon colors of nail polish he found packed neatly into a black and red nail kit bag. On the top of the bag, his name was embroidered: Roman, in swirling gold type. 

    “I love it!” he cried, and gently picked up one of the colors - a shimmering beetle green - before putting it back. He couldn’t wait to try it out.

    The next present was...well, he knew Scout had tried, at least. Paper wrapping wasn’t exactly their specialty. Nonetheless Roman unwrapped it gently, and hugged the new sketchpad that revealed itself to his chest. 

    “There’s also some stickers inside for you,” they said - were they nervous? What a strange thought; but Roman couldn’t deny the slight tremble; the tingle of anxiety in their voice. He smiled at them. 

    “I can’t wait to draw in it,” he said. “This is the perfect size.”

    From Logan, read the third gift, tagged neatly with a sharpie. The wrapping paper revealed something soft, and something not - new gloves, in his favorite shade of red, and a book. It claimed to be a fantasy book, and Roman felt tears stinging his eyes as he looked over the cover. He imagined Logan, standing in the fantasy section of a bookstore, with no idea of what any of the books contained. 

    “This one was rated very highly,” Logan explained matter-of-factly. “I do...hope that you enjoy it.”

    “Thank you,” Roman said softly, trying to blink away the tears. The gloves and book he gently set aside - somehow, Logan must have realized that his old ones were worn. 

    Two presents remained. He picked up one of them; From Virgil, it said. The paper presented a box when he pulled it away; inside the box was a soft puppy plush that was black and brown just like Prince, with a red bandana around its neck. The word Prince was hastily stitched onto it in yellow, and as he looked up at Virgil the father glanced aside. 

    “I...I’m sorry you can’t keep the real one,” was all he said, in a terribly soft voice. There were tears in his eyes too, Roman realized. “I hope this helps.”

    “It...it does,” he said. He hugged the plush dog close, and sniffled; with his other hand he gently petted the real dog. “Thank you, Virgil.”

    “Of course.”

    The last present was Emile’s. Roman hesitantly reached for it; he felt Emile tense as he pulled the paper away - it was a beanie. A soft one, with stripes of blue, yellow, and pink. Roman’s eyes widened, and he looked abruptly up at Emile. 

    “You...you made this?” he asked softly. 

    “Yeah. I hope it’s okay? I tried to make it as close to your flag as possible, and I-” he was cut off as Roman crashed into him, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s shoulders and hugging him tightly. 

    “I love it,” he whispered, and now he really was crying. “Thank you...thank you all so much.”

    He felt the warmth of another body beside him, and Roman opened one eye to see that Scout had joined the hug. Then Remy came over, followed by Virgil, and soon even Logan joined the group. Though Roman sort of expected it to be awkward...it felt really nice, surrounded by everybody he loved and who loved him in return. He felt himself smile 

    Thank you guys, for the best birthday ever.

[mell-bell]

this is definitely practice (for raising our future children)

aka First Pet

THIS IS PART OF A SERIES. IT WILL MOST LIKELY MAKE SENSE BY ITSELF BUT JUST A FOREWARNING.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9

PART 10 PART 11 PART 12 PART 13

AO3

Cassian x Reader

Words: 2104      

Series Summary: Cassian and Reader Firsts – from meeting each other to the first time, first kiss, first fight, first “I love you”, to their (first) last breaths (maybe…that might be too depressing)

Time Cassian and Reader have known each other: 1 year and 10 months 

Chapter: 14/20

Prompt: Anonymous- “firsts” for cassian x reader please?!? (like first date, first kiss, first fight etc) :-))

Author’s notes: Alright so this is up early because I have work soon. I have an another unrelated fic that’ll be up tonight. Also, a few of you asked about if the Reader and Cassian had sex yet. The answer is yes they did! I just didn’t feel they I could do a whole sex scene chapter justice as quickly as I’ve been banging out these chapters. But after I finish up this series of 20 chapters I’m gonna do some bonus chapters (or literally just extend the series bc it’s looking like that may happen anyways) and I’m thinking I’ll do a “first time” chapter! Also if anyone wants to read any other particular “firsts” just send me a message and I’ll be glad to do it! Anyways hope you enjoy this chapter!

You woke up suddenly, your eyes blinking wildly in the dark. You groaned it was the middle of the night. You squinted your eyes trying to see anything through the room. But all you saw was darkness. Your hand flopped to your side expecting to hit Cassian, but the bed was empty.

A small squeak sounded behind you and you flipped around catching sight of Cassian scurrying out of the bathroom, shutting the door quickly.

“Cassian?” You muttered.

His head whipped around, his eyes wide and frantic. You sat up slowly taking in his fidgeting state in confusion.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Cassian ran over to you, “Nothing nothing. Everything’s fine.”

Meow.

Cassian began coughing loudly and your brows furrowed in suspicion, “What’s going on?”

“Noth-!” Meow.

You shot up and started towards the bathroom, flicking on the lights along the way. Cassian skidded in front of you, blocking your way.

“Alright alright. Just, please. Please.” He begged. You pushed him out of the way and opened the door.

A black blob shot out quickly bouncing around the room.

You froze and a moment of silence passed. “Cassian is that a cat?!”

“Um….maybe?”

You turned to him in disbelief, “Where did you get a cat? Why is it here? Do you really think we can keep that thing?”

“It’s not a thing,” Cassian said affronted, “It’s a she, and her name is Socks.”

“Socks?! You want to name our kitten Socks?!”

“Aha! So it is our kitten!”

“I…..it’s too late for this shit. I’m going back to bed. Find her and put her back in the bathroom until I can figure out what to do tomorrow.”

“We’re keeping her.”

You took in Cassian’s face and sighed, “Yes, of course. She’s ours now. But please Cassian, it’s 2 in the morning.”

Cassian smiled grabbing your face and pulling you in for a quick kiss before taking off after the hyper black blob.

You and Cassian had a cat now. A kitten to be exact. And she was a handful.

The first few days as Kitten Parents were interesting, to say the least. You and Cassian decided that letting Socks out of your room wasn’t a good idea. So you locked up her in your room. And she didn’t like that. She became antsy and testy, which made your life already crazy life more difficult.

Meow.

You groaned, rolling over and poking Cassian’s sleeping body, “Cassian it’s your turn.”

“No way I got up last night.” He mumbled into his pillow.

You scoffed, “Nice try.” You kicked him over to the bed and he fell to the ground with a thump, “That was me. Now scoot.”

Cassian stood up grumbling and trudged over to the bathroom to let Socks out.

Socks met people around the base in stages.

Somehow Socks kept escaping your room and you didn’t know how.

Socks Episode #1:

It had been a long day and you entered your room late at night. Cassian was sitting hunched over at his desk grumbling down at his mission report. You scurried over quickly dropping a kiss to his cheek before falling onto your bed with a sigh.

You screeched as your body made contact with something hard and sharp, and shot up quickly ripping back the covers. 

“Um, Cassian?”

Cassian’s head snapped up, “What?“

“Is there a reason why there are 20 knives under our covers?”

Cassian’s brows furrowed, “Knives?”

You grabbed one and held it up for him to see.

“Oh. Knives.”

Meow.

Your head shot over to the corner of the room where Socks was standing with a knife in her mouth.

“Socks. What have you done? Whose knives are these?”

Meow.

“Don’t you meow me, missy!”

She trotted over and jumped up onto your bed dropping the knife in the rest of the pile.

You sighed rubbing your face roughly.

A quick knock at the door sounded and you flinched, “Hey Y/N. Have you seen my throwing knives I’m teaching some students and it seems they’ve all vanished. I don’t know what happ- oh my god is that a cat?!”

She squealed and took off toward Socks who cowered into the bed sheets.

Mila picked up Socks and cuddled her close, “She is so precious look at her!”

Cassian scurried over and quickly plucked Socks out her arms.

Mila grumbled and tried to take her back, but Cassian danced out of her way going to hide behind you with an annoyed Socks in his arms.

“So can I babysit?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Cassian.”

“Fine.”

Socks Episode #2:

It took Nei a while to meet Socks. Though she heard stories from Mila, you, and Cassian, she stayed away. She swore she just wasn’t a cat person.

One day Nei was fixing a ship in the hangar. She had music blaring and wasn’t paying attention too much else.

She was under the ship just messing around with a few wires when a shot of black attacked her legs. She slid out from under the ship and swatted at the cat in annoyance.

Socks hissed and kept attacking her legs. Nei shouted at the black blob, but it wouldn’t stop until she had been pushed halfway across the base.

Nei grumbled staring at Socks who was growling slightly. She was just about to go get you or Cassian when a blast sounded and Nei dove to the ground.

She rolled over taking in the view of the blast. The ship she had been working on was on fire.

She had narrowly just missed it.

She looked over at Socks who seemed to be smiling?

“Oh, you’re my new favorite.”

Cassian and you came skidding around the corner to find Nei holding a purring Socks over her head.

“Socks didn’t blow up the plane did she?”

Socks Episode #3:

Socks caused everyone to believe that there was a ghost haunting the base.

One night Socks snuck out of your room and into Leia’s room while she was sleeping.

Somehow Socks got tangled up in Leia’s white dress, got spooked, and took off down the base’s hall.

It was 4 am. People were sleep deprived and half conscious. To say that a shooting blur of white was believed to be a ghost was definitely true.

One rebel caught sight of a flash of white rounding a corner, started freaking out, and ran around the base screaming of ghosts and demons. Cassian who had fallen asleep in his workshop was startled awake at the screaming. As he comprehended what he heard, he took off just somehow knowing that it was Socks.

He ran through the base trying to find her but she wasn’t anywhere. Then he heard screaming. As he followed the frantic shrieks he ran by your room and quickly flew in screaming at you to help him.

You shot up out of bed and ran out of your room trailing after Cassian without a question. He grabbed your hand and you both took off.

Just as you rounded the corner a shot of white slammed into you. You grabbed onto it quickly and Cassian pulled Socks free. You heard footsteps rounding the corner and Cassian looked at you in horror. And then shoved Socks down his shirt. You were left holding Leia’s dress with a confused look on your face.

You heard Socks meow pitifully and Cassian shushed her lightly as someone rounded the corner.

Leia.

She took in Cassian, whose stomach was a little too round and moving? And then her gaze turned to you. Her dress in your hand. You gave her a sheepish smile and her brows lowered in suspicion as she grabbed her dress and left you two.

Meow?

Socks Episode #4:

By far the best thing that Socks did was torment General Draven. A few weeks into having her Socks began to vanish every morning at the same time for a few hours. Neither Cassian nor you knew where she was going. You tried to follow her but she would always vanish out of sight. 

One morning, you and Cassian were walking through the base when you heard screaming from the intelligence office. You took off and opened the door to find General Draven screaming up at the ceiling.

Cassian coughed, “Um? Sir?”

Draven turned and pointed at you in accusation, “You! I know this is you somehow.”

“Um, you know what is me, sir?”

“Everything in my office keeps moving places. Or vanishing. There’s music coming from the walls. And banging coming from the ceiling! I don’t know how you’re doing it. But just stop. I lock the door, but somehow it keeps happening?!”

Meow.

A scratching sounded at the ceiling and your brows furrowed. You all looked up and caught sight of a vent. You looked over at Cassian realization dawning on your faces.

Cassian grabbed you around the waist and hoisted you up so you could yank open the vent. And then you pulled out Socks.

“That better not be a cat in your arms Y/N.”

“Um, well.”

Socks Episode #5:

Because of Socks, you and Cassian hadn’t had much time to be together. Socks was always interrupting the two of you. And you wanted a night alone together so you sent Socks to Mila’s for the night.

You leaned close to Cassian, his lips brushing against yours. You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer to you. His hands ran up under your shirt and he pulled it up over your head.

As his lips began to trail down your neck you both fell onto the bed. You straddled his waist pulling him flush against you and pulled his shirt up and over his head.

Just as his hands were reaching down towards your pants you heard a pitiful meow. You sighed dropping your head to Cassian’s shoulder.

You looked over to the side of the bed. And there was Socks in all her glory staring up at the two of you with doe eyes.

“Socks?! How did you even get in here?” You groaned.

“Didn’t you lock the door?”

“Yes.”

“And blocked the air vent?”

“Yep.”

Meow.

Socks fluffed herself up and then jumped up on you and pushed in between the two of you snuggling into Cassian’s chest.

“Well, I guess it’s a party of three tonight.” You chuckled. Cassian pressed a kiss to your nose and you smiled curling up with Socks and Cassian.

The weeks passed and everyone found out about Socks. She became the hit of the base. You didn’t even try to lock her up anymore. She got out anyways. So she was free to roam.

The children followed her around like lost puppies.

The older agents snuck her food.

And everyone kept giving her gifts.

One morning you left your room to find an excited Mila standing outside your door holding a purring Socks.

“Come on Kitten Parent!”

“What?”

She shuffled you along and you bumped into Cassian, who was being pushed by Nei.

He pulled you close and mumbled, “What’s going on?”

You shrugged and you continued to follow Mila.

When you arrived at the hangar she pushed you through the door shoving Socks into your arms.

“Surprise!”

You jumped and backed into Cassian who steadied you with a chuckle.

There was the whole base. Everybody was wearing party hats. And holding presents.

Socks meowed and jumped out of your arms going to greet everybody.

A huge banner saying, HAPPY KITTEN SHOWER hung across the hangar.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Socks changed you and Cassian (and everybody else) for the better.

Socks was able to calm Cassian when he was stressed.

Socks knew when you needed to eat and would push up against you until you were out the door.

Socks knew when you needed to be alone and would watch you from afar making sure you were okay.

Socks would cuddle with Draven when she wanted to annoy him.

Socks would wait excitedly in the hangar for you, Cassian, Mila, or Nei to get back from a mission.

Socks would follow around Nei when she was doing dangerous stuff to make sure she was safe.

Socks would make sure to steal every knife except for Mila’s.

Socks befriended everybody on the base.

Socks received more gifts than anyone. Beds, toys, food, treats, everything.

Everyone knew her by name and would stop to pet her and praise her in the hallway.

Socks was an honorary member of the rebellion.

Socks was family now.

A family that had started out small, but had grown to include so many people you couldn’t imagine your life without.

Tagged: @ly--canthrope @misswinchester221b @heyjess-marie @latenightbooknerd

Next up: I don’t need a present this year (because all I need is you)  aka First time celebrating a holiday together

PART 15

[fashiontrendin-blog]

How I Avoided Sunday Scaries Last Week: A Detailed Account

http://fashion-trendin.com/how-i-avoided-sunday-scaries-last-week-a-detailed-account/

How I Avoided Sunday Scaries Last Week: A Detailed Account

This Sunday Scaries diary starts in the middle of the night…

4:30 a.m.

I wake up to Avi getting out of my bed and leaving the room. I presume he’s moving to the couch, which he occasionally does when he’s having insomnia and is nervous about waking me up. I lay awake for 30 minutes, mind turning over the previous day. When I hear him stir, I say that I’m awake too, and he joins me back in bed. We talk for the next hour about life — what’s keeping us up, what’s exciting us, getting us down — and eventually both drift off to sleep.

9:50 a.m.

I wake up to Avi’s voice: “My mom’s flight just landed.”

“What time is it?”

“9:50.”

“She’s early.”

“Yeah. I gotta go. I’ll call you.”

He pulls on his pants, kisses my check and is gone.

10 a.m.

I lay in bed and consider falling back asleep. I had a rough couple nights of sleep and have been playing catch-up. When I realize it’s not going to happen, I succumb to the blue light and check my phone. It’s dead. The memory of last night returns: My charger wasn’t plugging in properly, as if there was something stuck in the inlet. I grab my phone, my sewing kit, and make my way to the couch.

10:21 a.m.

I’ve been using various tools to dig something out of the charging port of my phone for 20 minutes. It looks like cookie dough. I’m squinting and trying to see inside. I don’t test it until I’m confident it feels clean. When I finally try the charger, it works. Hurray! Blessed be the fruit.

10:24 a.m.

I decide to make myself a smoothie bowl, which have a reputation for being snooty and expensive, but which I think might be the hidden secret of breakfast. The ones I make are cheap, healthy-ish, delicious and don’t require fresh food. Here’s how I make them:

-One frozen banana (I keep a bowl of them in my freezer at all times) -A big handful of whatever frozen berries I have on hand (usually blueberries, strawberries and raspberries) -A few glugs of almond milk (I buy cartons two at a time and they last forever) -A tablespoon of flax seeds (or chia seeds, or whatever seeds) -Blend until smooth -Top with honey, gluten-free granola, goji berries

As the blender roars, I make up a story in my head about my neighbors hating the all-too-frequent sound and having an inside joke about how much they hate me. When it’s done, I return to the couch with my bowl. I reach for the remote but stop myself and grab a book instead. I’m reading Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh.

“Reading makes me happier than TV,” I announce to an empty room, like a weirdo.

10:45 a.m.

I’m still reading Eileen. It’s good.

11 a.m.

I suddenly occurs to me, mid-page, that there were two Man Repeller stories I was supposed to finish editing on Friday but didn’t. I drag my computer to the couch and get to work on editing what will eventually become 12 Home Decor Tips I Can’t Stop Thinking About and Why “Black Girl Magic” Doesn’t Always Sit Right With Me.

11:22 a.m.

My brother Andy FaceTimes me mid-edit. He’s smooshed into his couch too. We rehash the picnic we had last night at Transmitter Park. He had to leave early and wants to know what he missed. He has a general existential fear of missing out, which always makes me laugh because I don’t know anyone who does as much fun and interesting stuff as he does.

12:35 p.m.

I finish editing and suddenly remember I’m supposed to be recording my day today for Man Repeller’s Sunday Scaries franchise. I spend the next 15 minutes documenting the above. Now I need to rush to get ready to meet up with Avi and his mom for lunch.

12:55 p.m.

I shower off but decide not to do anything with my hair as it looks fine. For my skin, I put on EasyDew Active Soothing Serum mixed with The Nue Co vitamin-C power to start, followed by Honest Beauty Nourishing Lotion, then Glossier sunscreen mixed with a drop of Drunk Elephant bronzing liquid, and finish with Glossier Cloud Paint in Haze. Then I move to my closet to get dressed.

1:19 p.m.

Omg. That took me forever and I don’t even like my outfit. I panicked! How does one dress for a day with one’s boyfriend’s mother when one has no idea what the day entails? After trying a basic dress and sandals and realizing I felt entirely unlike myself, I put on navy blue wide-leg pants I haven’t worn in a year and a black puff-sleeve shirt. I feel very whatever about this outfit but I have no further time to deliberate or I’ll be late!

1:25 p.m.

IT IS VERY HOT. Why am I wearing pants? Why am I wearing such dark colors? I’m fired.

1:42 p.m.

I arrive at Avi’s looking so hot and sweaty his mother immediately dotes on me — bringing me water, sitting me in front of the air conditioner, etc. It’s very sweet. Avi says he’s calling a car because we’re going to Jackson Heights! As they put on their shoes, I run downstairs and buy myself an iced coffee.

1:58 p.m.

Avi, his mother Rita and I are squeezed into the back of a car on our way to Queens. Rita and I are discussing how chubby Avi was as a baby. She says her doctor put him on a diet at six weeks old! Apparently he was taking down double the milk he was supposed to. This delights me to no end.

2:25 p.m.

We arrive at Sri Maha Vallabha GanaPati, a Hindu temple in Queens — said to be one of the first Hindu temples in the U.S. (Also, did you know some people call Queens one of the most diverse places on Earth? The whole neighborhood is incredible and feels completely different depending on where in the borough you are.)

We remove our shoes before entering the temple and I take note of a sign that says shorts and ripped jeans are prohibited. I’m suddenly thankful for my full-coverage outfit. Avi and I walk around looking at the shrines, leaving his mother to pray on her own. I’m struck by one of the plaques that reads: “When I study, grant me success (by means of right understanding) always.” I make a mental note; I like that definition of success.

2:53 p.m.

After we leave, we head to the temple canteen for lunch, which Avi heard serves the best Dosa in New York. The canteen is underground, looks like a cafeteria and smells delicious. We order too much food, confirm it is indeed the best dosa, and spend the meal discussing Indian politics, Avi’s mother’s argument with Avi’s father about what car to buy next, and Avi’s mother’s similarities to my mother.

4:09 p.m.

After a long lunch, we head out. Next we are going to Patel Brothers, which is the largest Indian American supermarket chain in the U.S. It’s a mile away. We decide to walk because it’s beautiful out. I’m not worried about a thing, except that my brother missed out on lunch. (He’s been talking about going to Jackson Heights for months.)

Avi and I are laughing because we can’t seem to get 10 feet without his mother stopping to identify a plant and discuss its properties. It’s very charming.

Avi: “Mom, you’re too Michigan. Have you ever walked a mile straight?”

Rita: “This is the simple life, Avi. You should learn it.”

4:28 p.m.

We arrive at Patel Brothers. I follow the two of them around like a puppy, laughing in delight as they argue about things like whether Avi needs a 50-pound bag of rice. At times I can’t tell who is trolling who.

5:04 p.m.

All done! When we walk outside, it feels like it’s going to rain, so I call us a car home. The train would take double the time, unfortunately. When it arrives, we pile in for a 40-minute ride back to Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, where we both live.

5:32 p.m.

On the drive home, I feel a vague fondness for driving on the highway. I don’t do it much. The car is lulling me to sleep. Our middle-of-the-night antics are catching up to me.

6:11 p.m.

We are home! Took much longer than expected. I immediately crank Avi’s A/C unit and put on one of his sweatshirts — I’m in the mood to be cozy. Avi puts on a Michael Bublé holiday music video as a joke to tease his mom, who he claims loves Bublé, which she denies. We pretend it’s Christmas for three minutes while Rita makes us tea.

6:40 p.m.

Tea’s up. Avi puts on Jaws for our afternoon nap time, for no discernible reason.

6:57 p.m.

Wow, the aesthetic of Jaws is amazing. The whole thing looks like it’s been run through a Huji filter, and the clothes are on point too. Avi gets up to cook, leaving me and Rita on the couch as she critiques every scene aloud, which is making me laugh.

Rita: “This is bad direction, no?”

7:47 p.m.

The light is dwindling outside. The house is filling with the smell of garlic. Tomorrow is Monday. I wish tomorrow was Sunday instead.

8:38 p.m.

I decide I would watch any movie with Rita commentary turned on.

8:45 p.m.

Jaws ends right as Avi brings us plates of food: sesame wings over rice with pickled carrots (a recipe he’s been perfecting this month that he found on Smitten Kitchen). He puts on cooking videos while we eat. He’s a good TV host — always picking random entertaining things to put on during downtime. The three of us watch a video of a person making cheesecake, and then cookies, and then a home-made iced latte. During the third one, as the guy goes to great lengths to roast his own coffee beans, Rita expresses her disapproval:

Rita: “No way.” Avi: “What ma?” Rita: “Why would you do all this? You can just buy one.” Avi: “He’s not doing it because he wants a coffee, he’s doing it because he wants to do it.” Me: “He’s stopping and smelling the roses!” Rita: “I think he needs to go to a third world country and see what’s really important.”

Fair enough.

9:17 p.m.

I wash Avi’s dishes as a thank you for cooking for us and then pack up to head home. My eyes are stinging, I think from the sunscreen I put on earlier that morning; it’s making me feel exhausted. Or maybe I’m just genuinely exhausted.

9:27 p.m.

Avi walks me to the train and waits on the platform with me until it comes. We chat and reflect on the day until the very last second, at which point I kiss him and run onto the train car. He watches me go. It’s all very old-timey.

9:41 p.m.

Hello home! Hello Bug.

10 p.m.

I put on PJs, brush my teeth and do my skincare routine right away because I know if I sit down on the couch now I’ll never get up. On my skin, I use Paula’s Choice cleansing oil to start, then Glossier face wash followed by Peach & Lilly toner, and then finish by mixing Caudalie face cream with a couple drops of Drunk Elephant face oil (I’ve been dry lately).

10:11 p.m.

I sit down on the couch and solve the Rubick’s cube on my coffee table in under three minutes, my latest party trick. Someone sent a Rubick’s cube to the Man Repeller office this summer and I took it home because I’ve always wanted to learn how to solve one. About a month ago, Avi and I decided to dedicate an entire night to learning. Hunched over a Youtube tutorial we figured it out together, and we’ve spent the last few weeks trying to beat each other’s times.

10:35 p.m.

I’m in bed now. I set my alarm for therapy tomorrow morning. I normally go on Friday mornings but I was sick last week so my therapist kindly rescheduled. I grab Eileen to read myself to sleep.

10:37 p.m.

Wait! I forgot to meditate. I open Headspace and do a five-minute session laying down, which I think is cheating. It’s a miracle I didn’t fall asleep.

10:42 p.m.

Okay, now it’s actually bedtime. Night!

23 PHOTOS click for more

[voiceofangst]

I start my new job tomorrow and I’m so excited, except I start @ 5am - I have t worked for a week so I’ve been indulging and haven’t been going to be until 3/4am so my body clock is fucked and this going to sleep at a reasonable hour is out of the question.

If I intentionally go to bed telling myself I *meed* to go to sleep my body turns into this evil beast and is like “oh you NEED to?! THEN YOU WONT” like I’m not one of those people that can just fall asleep, I don’t know maybe it’s got something to do with the fact that my mind is always going a million miles and hour and I’m always stressed.

On top of that, the worry about waking up in time was setting my anxiety off 😂 imagine all these scenarios in which I don’t wake up in time and what wakes me up is a phone call from a manager or something asking me where the fuck I am. Plus having no fucking where to go, waiting around for someone to get someone else who can show me where to go - everyone being like “who’re you?” “Oh, you’re new?” Etc etc (I even imagined a scenario someone falling onto a fucking knife ~context: I’m working in the restaurant~)

It’s 12:30 and my alarm is set for 3:30.

I have a headache and feel a little sick. I’m wide awake. Bored. Stressed. Anxious. Wide Awake but I just want to be asleep but I can’t force myself to go to sleep.

I haven’t woken up before midday in a week. Sorry there was one day I woke up @ 7 bc I was having a really nice dream (ft the new bad boy from stranger things s2) and of course I woke up, as if my mind would let me enjoy something like that.

I don’t know, I’m just gonna fap and see what happens. Good luck but also RIP

[opepin]

nov: week one

06: i was not feeling motivated to work out this morning. my back ached and i was still sore from the massage and maybe a bit of whatever i did yesterday. kevin woke up early for work and i left to work out when he woke up. i did 30 minutes of cardio abs and kevin stopped by the yoga studio to say goodbye. (: then i got back, did a bit of work, showered, and made myself a smoothie for breakfast. we bought some sour patch kids + watermelon because it was 50% off at roche bros and now i want to eat them all the time but i feel like crap after i eat them lol. the sour and sweet makes my stomach feel real acidic. anyway, i snacked a bit and then snacked on edamame before eating lunch. i microwaved the leftover seafood pasta and finished off my shakshuka. i worked on creating training stuff today and then comcast had an outage lol. the website was real slow so i worked with it as best as possible. i could watch youtube videos just fine though o__o’ it got fixed after stand up ended and i finished up my training stuff and created a to-do list for tomorrow. i felt sluggish all day and wanted to nap.

i hopped into bed and ended up watching youtube videos until 5 pm and then i went to the yoga studio and did abs and a bit of cardio. i took a nice long shower when i got back and then made myself a smoothie. this peanut butter powder is nice and all because there’s less fat, but i don’t feel full after drinking my smoothie anymore. i might opt for real peanut butter in the morning and then powder after my evening workouts? hmm. anyway, after i drank my smoothie, i microwaved pulled chicken leftovers and made a english muffin with pulled chicken and leftover slaw for dinner. i still felt hungry but i made myself wait it out to see if i was actually hungry lol. i did eat a small square of chocolate though. then i spent the rest of the night watching anime :3 i watched 9 episodes (srs LOL) of season 2 of ‘kimi no todoke.’ i watched that much because i did not want to stop when the couple was still having misunderstandings. omg, i was so frustrated LOL. kevin got back at around 10:30 pm from his dinner with haoqi. he brought back leftover pulled pork and also got me banana pudding <333

i brushed and then hopped in bed with him while we just talked about our days and kind of future plans. i was pretty tired and he wanted to shower and eat dragon fruit lol. so i went to sleep. i woke up at some point to pee because i drank a lot of water before sleeping lol. i kind of scared kevin apparently ;P

07: man, i always wake up before my alarm rings nowadays. it’s not even consistent! i wake up at 7:15 am sometimes or 8 am sometimes, but i always wake up before it rings. -__-” sigh. well, i was wide awake before my alarm rang at 7;15 am today but i fell asleep and got up at 7:40 am. then i did some cardio hip hop because why not exercise the way you want to even if it’s not super intense? i’m backtracking on this whole doing hiit and weight lifting thing. it’s making me feel terrible. lol. i showered and then made myself a smoothie for breakfast. kevin was awake so i talked to him for a bit before heading out. no one was in the office on the product team side today. lol at least i’m in the office, right? the day went by fast then super slow. i wasn’t super busy during the day but i was pretty productive. i also managed to multitask and finish watching ‘kimi no todoke’ while working :DD this anime makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. i stopped by cole and john’s office and we talked about staying up late because of gaming / anime LOL. then i went back to work.

everyone left at around 4 pm or before 5 pm. i was the last one in the office because i had a client call from 4 pm to 5 pm. it got so dark outside so quickly x__x; the call ended right at 5 pm so i packed up and then headed out. i met with kevin at the train station and then ‘moderate delays’ hit. so many people were lined up to get on the train... we waited about 30-40 minutes to finally get on a train and it was hella packed. our commute home took more than an hour @_@; when we got back, we received our food52 zwilling ceramic skillet! ahhh, it’s so nice! we chilled for a bit before both of us cooked dinner. then we watched two episodes of yakitate! japan and then ate delicious beef stroganoff while watching! the sour cream in the stroganoff is probably what made me gassy later on in the evening lol. anyway, i talked to my mom for a bit and then kevin played a game of dota with jon. i stretched while watching the latest episode of ‘jane the virgin’ and then i just assumed i wouldn’t be gaming with kevin because he was playing dota for a long time lmao.

oh, i also enrolled into my employer benefits and then chilled on the couch for the rest of the night. i got really tired for some reason? i went to bed pretty early at 11:30 pm. i think i watched a bit of youtube in bed before ko��ing at around 11:50 pm. oh, i was actually looking at instagram and getting negative thoughts and feelings about it so i stopped and just went to sleep. haha. 

08: i tried doing a 1 hour leg work out again. i also included some glute activation moves before i even used weights. by the time i was done with my workout, i was exhausted D: i don’t know if i like this... we’ll see. i got back and then kevin left for work. then i cooled off with a smoothie and then i showered. i felt very unmotivated in the morning but eventually got to working on recreating the pdfs for training. then i ate lunch while watching ‘gamers.’ :D it’s an odd anime so far... then i got on stand up and phil gave me an urgent task. i worked on that for the rest of the work day. kevin came back early after he ate lunch and got his flu shot. he brought me back some bark thins <333 then he went to get a haircut. the day went by super quickly. i got my new cushioned bombas in the mail and i hope they don’t rip T__T we’ll seee... kevin and i continued working until the end of the day and then i watched ‘GAMERS!’ while doing some personal errands. i don’t think i like this anime... everything is a big misunderstanding @_@;

kevin went for a run and then showered. i made rice... or i thought i did. we realized i didn’t hit ‘cook’ when kevin was almost done cooking the curry. lol. i got hungry before we even made dinner so i chugged my protein powder with water. the cocoa flavor is better than the vanilla but still kinda grody to drink with just water. anyway, while kevin showered, i cut the carrots, potatoes, and onions. then he cooked and i continued relaxing and whatever. then we ate dunner while watching an episode of yakitate! japan and finally, we got to game with ryan and terence! we played gauntlet together after they troubleshooted their black screen :33 i got mad midway because everyone kept taking all the gold while i was killing things T^T i just continued killing things for the rest of the night lol. kevin comforted me and then we figured out that i did have a sort of dash but i wasn’t aware of it... i wouldn’t have gotten so angry if i knew i also could “dash” towards the gold. lmao, i’m so emotional when it comes to games and “unfairness.” shout out to my boyfriend for being so caring and understanding of my odd emotional ways when it comes to gaming <3 i super super super appreciate him so much T__T <3 after gaming, i went to sleep... well, i went on my phone and then went to sleep at 12:30 am. oops.

09: i decided to do my complete arm / back workout after work today. so i got up, drank my breakfast smoothie, changed, and then left for work. joe was in the office today and i guess that dave was still in new york. it was a pretty chill day. i had a few meetings but nothing stressful. i did some testing in the morning and then had lunch while watching an episode of ‘GAMERS!’ and then hopped into my calls for the rest of the day. i met up with cole at around 3 pm to get starbucks with him. i don’t usually get starbucks but i wanted to get something other than boba today. we walked over to the closest one and then ordered. he got an iced chai latte and i got the praline chestnut chai tea latte... or so i thought. they actually got my order wrong and gave me the coffee latte version, but it was too late to to tell them because cole got a text about PAX badges and we ran like crazy back to the office so he could get to his computer lmao. i was running with coffee in my hands x__x; we got back to his office and then he got into the queue on his computer. he was already in on his phone. he then realized that the PAX twitter notified everyone a few minutes earlier than the text so he knew he wasn’t going to get the 4-day badge. he frantically messaged his friends. cole kept saying this was the first time he was away from the computer when they announced badge sales. T___T i apologized profusely.

he ended up buying single day passes for each day :( but he calmed down after. with a bit of cole’s persuasion, i also bought PAX badges for saturday for me and kevin. it’ll be my first convention and i’m so excited! i’m ready for you, april! :P while cole was calming down, i took our new t7 member, edwin, to the 8th floor to get his badge. noelle didn’t put his name in the system yet so i picked up a package and then headed back down with him. he seems like a really cool and chill guy! he has a switch and wasn’t afraid to charge it in the room and he talked with us about conventions and stuff. :D ahh, i love the nerds in t7 ahah. i went back to the office to do a final check on imports and then i packed up. i was supposed to leave at 4 pm but then i felt like i needed to work on that before. i still ended up leaving at 4:30 pm with cole and edwin. the train wasn’t packed and i got home fairly quickly. i picked up my ae packages and then tried everything on. i think the hoodie is a bit too long but kevin helped me decide to keep it. i want the dark blue version as well so i’ll get that in a smaller size.

after trying on stuff, i got myself into the yoga studio and did an hour of arms and back. i could tell it wasn’t going to be my best performance. my chest presses always feel wrong lol and doing a good amount of them for an hour didn’t help my form. i ended my workout doing some lower back exercises and called it a day. i got back and showered and prepped the rice cakes for dinner and drank my protein smoothie. when kevin came back from climbing, i boiled the soup with the rice cakes, made each of us fried eggs with the new ceramic pan <3, and plated everything for dinner. we started watching game of thrones because we will be going to iceland in february and we kind of wanted to appreciate the location and its ties with the series? LOL. well, i watched the first season already so it was mainly kevin watching. he was half watching tbh. after dinner, we might have played a bit more gauntlet to grind for more $$ to get more upgrades and gear... and/or i watched ‘GAMERS!’ i finished the series and i was not impressed. i think i’m going to take a break from anime right now. i’ll continue watching my series though haha. i got sleepy pretty quickly so i hit the bed at like 12:30 am. zzz.

10: hello, fourth day of pto at home! i enjoyed sleeping in today, but it got to the point where i just felt really crappy about myself. i’ve been feeling mentally tired about exercising. i think it’s because i’m not feeling any better and not seeing much of a difference after adding in free weights to my workout. i just laid in bed with very indecisive thoughts. it doesn’t help that for a while now, i wake up bloated af and/or with stomach pain. i feel like i have a cleaner diet now but i don’t know :/ i just feel like the choices that i’ve made haven’t really been what i want or need right now. i’m not entirely sure. i managed to get my butt out of bed and stop thinking about these things for now and pick up the new kobenstyle casserole post we bought from food52. it’s very sleek and the right size for what we need. :) 

to get myself out of the whole exercising pinch, i’ve decided to work out less so it doesn’t become a stressor in my life. it’s been stressing me out even though i wouldn’t put it that way if you had asked me in person. i do schedule my life around working out right now and i think my sleep has suffered because of that and not knowing what i want to do with my spare time. so i’m just going to work out when i feel like it and for less than an hour each day. i’ve been trying to hit an hour or more each day and with the stress i’m feeling, it’s not going to work out. it’s a bit frustrating talking to other people about this because i don’t think they think i work out hard enough and/or think i’m wimping out and/or i’m not doing it right. well, at least that’s what i think. i may not be overtraining but i’m definitely doing something wrong if i’m feeling this way about exercising right now. anyway, i did some hip hop cardio and i realized that i love dancing as my cardio. doing hiit workouts is fun too but in moderation.

i felt better afterward. i showered and then drank my protein smoothie. i may have watched some anime and then kevin came home. i made rice and then i started reading ‘the rules of magic’, my book of the month, while waiting for the rice to cook. we microwaved leftover curry and ate that for dinner before hopping on steam and gaming with ryan and later on, terence! we played gauntlet and finally got past the level where we kept dying haha. we played until 11 pmish and then kevin washed dishes while i got ready for bed. kevin stayed up gaming and i think i went to sleep. 

11: we woke up pretty late. i keep waking up at around 8 or 9 am and then falling back asleep because of pto or it’s the weekend. :P we ate scallion pancakes with egg for brunch while watching the new try guys’ video on baking bread without a recipe. the ending of that video is ridiculous. then we meal planned and went grocery shopping! we stopped by bj’s and got kevin’s parents ugly christmas sweaters and ofc groceries. then we went to kam man and i got some new pocky flavors! they both taste pretty good! then we stopped by roche to get a few more things like hot cheetos (kevin we craving them and then i was too T__T), burger buns, and i’m still looking for the dairy-free halo top but no dice. we got a lot of snacks for some reason... kevin was in a munchy mood. hmmm. our pantry is stocked for winter though haha. we got back home and put everything away. i ate some leftover pulled chicken and one of the buns for lunch. kevin went to game with friends so i continued reading ‘the rules of magic.’ after a bit, kevin came to game with me and we played some battleblock theater. we played only for a little bit because the levels are so hard now D: we also needed to prep for dinner.

kevin started making the stock and then we both headed over to the fitness center :) i did some hiit cardio w/ abs and he ran on the treadmill. it was nice working out together. we didn’t do the same things, but it was nice being with him while i worked out. we stretched together and then headed back and showered. right after, we finished cooking the korean rice cake soup, plated it, and watched the rest of episode 1 of game of thrones. kevin doesn’t really like it. it’s really slow he says. lol i agree. i made it through season 1 but rq’d right at the beginning of season 2. he didn’t even want to watch the next episode and we watched the greek olympiad try guys video instead hahaha. we cleaned up and then i think kevin went back to gaming while i continued reading my book until 1 or 2 am? then i hopped into bed and ko’d.

12: we got up at 12 pm and then started our very chill day. we ate the cinnamon raisin thomas english muffins we got from bj’s wholesale for breakfast. we did some morning reading together and i took some pictures of us, which turned out to be cute failures ahha. then kevin went to game while i finished reading ‘the rules of magic.’ it was a very nice book! :) i love alice hoffman’s writing. i took short breaks to get more water and to snack a bit. then kevin played something else on the tv via steam while i watched him. he started playing ‘don’t starve’ and it was lulz. i started cleaning while he played and then we cleaned the kitchen together and i vacuumed our bedroom before he took over vacuuming and swiffering the rest of the apartment. kevin started cooking dinner after while i watched some youtube videos while walking. i was sitting for a while today so i felt like i needed to do some walking. we ate dinner while watching a stream of ‘don’t starve’ and then we played some battleblock theater together. omg, level 6 is so hard, but we made it through! after digesting our food, kevin went to run and took the ipad with him so i stayed in the apartment and did some cardio dancing. i didn’t particularly like the video that i was doing... so it’ll be in my queue but i probably won’t do it again for a while.

i also did some cardio hip hop and focusing on keeping my core tight the whole time. i did a set of ab exercises and then called it a night. kevin was taking a pretty long time so after drinking my protein with cashew milk, i went outside and saw him walking back. he said he decided to do a longer run :P then we showered and i tried calling it a night except that i was on my phone until 1:40 am / when kevin went to bed. o___o” i really should not be on my phone when i get into bed. i need to build better habits nowadays. :/ i spent some time looking online for a gratitude journal. i might just take a break from tumblr and write in that instead. i feel like it’s become a task just documenting my days here. i need a little bit of a new perspective.