#i had another couple but i forgot them
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Canât, too busy flirting ⼠(Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#ZEX#FRICK I forgot ZEX's bruises lol#I drew them in the sketch even! It's why his left eye is closed rather than his right fjdsaklfdfds#Well DAX will probably have that ankle brace on him still by the time ZEX's face and neck are all healed up anyway *handwaves handwaves*#Anyway lol#I've been wanting to try my hand at the ''heartbeat'' style for a while now! Pretty sure this is my first ever attempt! :0#I guess that one blushy react I made a couple years ago for VLH could count? But that was with vectors so#Was mostly curious as to how long it would take and how tedious it would be with my tablet#Using my crayon brush for the lineart and colours made it more fun :) Very unconcerned with how ''clean'' it would look by the end#Which I think is how this style is meant to be approached - if it was too smooth or too aligned then it wouldn't move!#I think I like it well enough :)#I had another one I was thinking about doing first - even sketched up a while ago now - but this image hit me most recently#New shiny - you know how it is :P#And they're so cute how can I resist <3#Max being shorter than Dexter is So good and then ZEX nad DAX are in there and it's just jdkslafd#Extremely yes very much so agree#They're cute! I love them!#Someday I'll get really good at DAX's parade rest pose because I keep attempting to draw it correctly and haven't yet#But I haven't given up!! I'll get it someday!!!#ZEX is effortlessly adorable so that's easy lol#Even if I didn't get the bruises his blush was still real fun to texture :)
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bro what the fuck are they doing with my package
#fun story#i ordered 3 things from hot topic. they shipped but never arrived so a couple weeks later i messaged them abt it#and went back and forth with them for a while bc their customer service agents cant read apparently#before being told i had to call bc one of the things i ordered went out of stock and i was replacing it w smth more expensive#so i call and im on the phone for like a fucking hour missing the 15 minute window i have to eat between jobs#and being on the phone at work for a while lmao#i finally get it done and the guy fucking forgets my apartment number in the shipping address. it's in the billing address tho??#so i email them AGAIN and im like yo your man forgot my apartment number. they cancel that order and place another#the effect this has is that the $14 payment for the more expensive item is cancelled as well. bc again they don't read#so im like sick i will effectively get these $60 pants for $15 (im very good at sales and also manipulating customer service)#but apparently when they replaced the order they put ny apartment number not in the addressâ but as part of my name?????#so i think its fucking up usps. but it came in 2 packages and 1 has arrived so i still have hope. but thats not the end#yesterday guess who fuckin calls me. its hot topic. my original order arrived to the fuckin store in my local mall#and theyre like i think we fucked up bc we just found this package but it says you picked up your order already. do u want it#and i was like yes? not really sure what package to be expecting and its my ORIGINAL FUCKING ORDER#so once this package arrives i will have gotten 2 of the same shirtâ 2 kiki sign thingsâ a sweaterâ and a pair of pants for $40#and i figure i can return one of the shirts and one of the signs that i have duplicates of for store credit of their full price#so anyway yeah. thats been the past 3 weeks for me.
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apologies to the anons I forgot answering! sometimes your asks get lost in the askbox and keep piling up so I donât notice when I forget one. please send me another one if you think I forgot yours, I usually answer within a week, if not leave me another ask and I will check itâşď¸đ
#my ask box#anon asks#anon ask#I miiiight have found a couple old unanswered asksđ sorry to the cute anons I forgot!!!#⨠anon#or#đ¸ anon#just as an example#and I might have double booked the 𦷠anon- if the person that once had it (they/them pronouns) wants another emoji let me know!đ#bd/sm domme#bd/sm blog#domme/sub#bd/sm kink
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Hi okay it's me again. I started watching the bear and it's really good (although it's makin me stressed how stressed they are) The other two i will come to next, intriguing. I could have specified I'm only into fiction shows and not really stuff like Taskmaster but it sounds like you enjoy it which is cool. I remain open to any other suggestions!
Hello! I'm glad you're watching The Bear, yeah I think the show was made to stress people out lol! I would say even if you think it wouldn't be your thing, even just give a short clip from Taskmaster a chance its worth it, but thats the lasts ill push that. Other fiction shows is still a super broad category but let me think.
It's really popular right now, so you've possibly already seen it, or at least heard about it, but I'm lowkey obsessed with it at the moment so I have to mention it and that's Bridgerton. If you're unfamiliar its a romance/drama show in a stylized regency era. I really love it, but I would say skip season 1 and go right to season 2, its the better season. Like I will warn some people act like its regency porn, which its not, but there are some sex scenes that are a little more graphic then a lot of shows show, so just so you know if thats not your thing, but they're easy to fast forward through.
Lowkey inspired by the last suggestion, is Derry Girls, their is an actress in both this and Bridgerton that I'm a big fan of, so I've been rewatching this of recent. Its a comedy about a group of high school girls in Derry, Ireland in the 90s, and their teen mischief while in the background is the troubles going on in the country. And its a really funny show, great characters, and if your like me you will be trying to copy their accents cuz they're amazing.
School Spirits, it's a teen drama/mystery about a girl who becomes a ghost, and she's trying to discover how this happened to her, with the help of other ghosts shes meets and a living friend of hers who can somehow see her. I got really hooked on this show when I first saw it, and I need it's second season asap. I will say there is potentially triggering content so I'd recommend looking into that first if thats a concern.
Extraordinary, omg I don't know why I didn't think of this one sooner or for the first list, but it's another show I was hooked on when I first saw it. It's a comedy, where everyone has a super power except for our protagonist, and we see how she deals with that/her trying to discover her power somehow. It's a lot of fun to watch, some characters have absolutely ridiculous powers, where you think they'd probably be better off without a power.
I hope you maybe like some of these please do come back and tell me any thoughts you have on them if you check any out!
#my post#anon#show recommendations#the first 3 i watched on netflix the last one on hulu if you need help finding them#i hope these arent all things you already know#i mean bridgerton is pretty popular but i still felt like i had to suggest it just incase plus im kind of obsessed so just gives me a reaso#to mention it#like season 1 is fine if you do go in order i did cuz i watched since the show started#but season 2 man its just so good#a perfect main couple and my most favorite side couple that i need to be legit its a whole thing message me if you wanna know more#also like i hope its not annoying for me to mention that the shows could potentially be triggering#i guess in a sense any show could#but like i just dont want to send someone into a show totally blind#especially when ive heard people say/or i found moments triggering#and also i just think maybe its better to say go check#then for me to explain just incase i miss something important or not mention what is a trigger for you if you even have any#also i cannot believe i forgot all about extraordinary#i was obsessed when i first saw it another show i need the next season asap#also there is a surprise gay character this is tumblr so i figure its worth mentioning
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help why is youtube doing this
#like. the player being so big but the video inside it is small#like the scrub bar and the icons are all aligned to the video so its like theres a sidebar thats missing?#the white space goes away if i go full screen but i usually watch things this way and not in fullscreen lmao#im on firefox w a couple youtube related extensions#i turned off one of them and it didnt do anything but i forgot i had another#and ofc ublock origin#so i will do some more trial and error but this is so weird lmao#r.txt#like it looks like theres supposed to be ads there that are being blocked out tbh#i sure hope not!
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#not counting the japanese songs bc they dont remember ANY of those b sides you cant convince me otherwise#btw none of these songs are bad imo exo just has a lot of songs and most if not all of these they havent performed in several years#even including exploration in 2019 which at least 8 of them werent performed during iirc#also yes i remember when kyungsoo was at his birthday fanmeet and didnt remember how walk on memories went#thinking about that inspired this but i didnt include it bc i think theres more songs that they also dont remember lmao#and i will fully admit there were a couple of these where i had to listen to them again bc i didnt remember how they went just by title#i might make another one if anyone else has some suggestions for songs that are so forgotten that even i forgot them lol
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I never see enough Mad Scientist Aesthetic things, but its such a good aesthetic!! Beakers with glowing liquids, blacklights, goggles, thick black gloves, crazy hair, greens and purples, OUGH
Anyways I've been scouring the internet for mad science-y videos and... Mad Science lovers get ready for the queue After Valentine's Day, I made a bunch of stuff
#i've had a couple stimboard requests sitting in my inbox for a while#and i basically told myself that i wouldn't make ANY stimboard until I fulfilled those requests#but... i think maybe that just made the concept of making them altogether seem like another homework assignment. took the fun out of it#I still wanna make those requests !! The ppl who requested them probably forgot about them đ
theyve been there so long#one person who made a request deactivated before I could even finish the board... :(#I still wanna make them. and i will... but im gonna try and get into making stimboard again first#cuz i forgot how much fun they could be until I made this one :')#so there is a stimboard coming along w all the gifs i made#get ready for that <3#not stim#text post
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:( i think i just accidentally boiled a spider to death
#i usually do a quick sweep to be sure there's no spiders or centipedes in the shower but i was distracted#forgot my soap and razor too lol#and so i thought with my glasses off that this solid inch long black grass(?) spider was a hairball#because there are a couple of those in here and i only clean them out sometimes#alas. when i leaned over to grabthe shampoo the poor guy got sprayed real solidly with steaming hot shower water#i like my water to be like tea hot. like hot enough to hurt#so like he naturally started scrambling away like he'd been burned on account of i think he had#crawled onto my roommate's soap so i scooted him to the dry part of the shower#*bathroom sorry#and as soon as he was away from the water and calmed down he slowed Way down#now he's sitting sort of half under the bathmat#i think he might've come here to die anyway because it's about that time but still#very sad to see such a magnificent beast in such a state#man is huge#at least by the standards of the spiders i otherwise see here#and clearly a breeding male I've literally never seen such big boxing gloves on a wild spider in my life#...though to be fair he was like dragging himself along by them outside the shower bc i think his legs weren't working#poor guy. gotta be a miserable way to die#eta i took another peek and now he's atop the mat....but four of his legs are visibly not bending right#so yeah one way or another i've killed this poor guy#i'm gonna take him outside after i get dressed so he can at least be a snack for something else instead of just expiring on my bathroom#floor and jumpscaring my roommate in five hours
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#can i just calm down for 2 seconds please. can the anxiety stop for just a bit please#i'm gonna go buy bubbles#bubbles are nice. i can't do mindful breathing or whatever you call it on my own.#i'll literally panic trying to control my breathing. but. blowing bubbles. that makes me feel better#and it's the same thing but with bubbles. that used to be my go to method before therapy and zoloft#but today i'm just FREAKING out#a friend invited me to something and yesterday when hanging out with another friend i mentioned it#and i was like 'oh you didn't know about it? i'm sure they wouldn't mind. let me ask if you can come'#and that friend left me on read and then finally told me this morning that they weren't sure about it#because apparently someone or some people in the larger like... not friend group more like friend web#don't like this other friend and that's why they weren't invited. that and it was gonna be just a couple of us.#and after apologizing a lot and going back and forth being like 'i'm so sorry this is my fault'#and them being like 'no it's not i should be more inclusive i feel bad not including them'#and me being like no you're allowed to not invite people i shouldn't have mentioned it ahhhhhhhhhhhh#so i don't know where host-friend stands right now about the other friend coming#BUT that other friend invited me out tonight and i had said i would come but that was before all this chaos#so if i go meet them i'll have to avoid the whole invite thing and hope they forgot but i don't think they forgot#and i'm like who doesn't like this person and why because i think i know why and that it's a misunderstanding#and tonight i could casually be like 'hey you should text so-and-so about that thing and touch base' to fix it#BUT if i'm wrong and it's someone ELSE then i don't know why and just ahh i hate drama especially theatre people drama#and i feel extra bad for creating this mess ahhhhh. so now i've been a ball of anxiety all night.#hmm. venting and writing this out made me calm down a little. god i need to get back into journalling
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was up til 4 writing last night woohooooo :3
#just me hi#and i FINISHED what i was writing ! ! ! ! :DD#happy happy happy abt that lol !!#i was only like half-conscience for the last two full thirds of it (that's certainly an Experience btw lmfvshg) but it's not too bad either#i finished another short thing a couple months ago i think and i'd thought that was insane#turns out if you wanna get things done you just add easily achieved checkpoints. a thing i already knew but had not applied to writing ever#for some reason hkfsvhjg#like i finished it !! i finished the thang ! ! !#i rarely ever finish writing things cuz i don't think i have the network for that lolll - but i Did and ! ! ! :DD#and i didn't feel too bad waking up this morning so this is nothing but wins dude ! ! :D#ofc i'll have to go to bed earlier now tonight but yippeeee#i'm just really darn diddly pleased about it. yeah hbghfhs#//and what else..#drinkin strawberry lemonade rn !!! i love you strawberry lemonade houh <33#oouhhh one of my fave songs just came on hbghfs#wow i Am having nothing but wins today !! sick sick sick :D#//oh and since it's getting cooler i wanna go skating ! !#gotta mention that every now and then. i also love my skates hfbsh <3#they're crusted in mud (i am so sorry skates) cuz of that one time i hit the ditch (lmao) and i forgot to clean them so they've just been#Waiting for that Lol#i'll prolly get those cleaned later! hopefullyyyyyy gfhshv#yea also since i got bigger wheels than i'm used to (cuz i can't keep up w/ my siblings w/ dying wheezing lmfhsvhjg) i have to relearn some#stuff like it's Brand-brand new#but i Did master that one hill that spooked me (i went Flying dude i think it looked majestic hgkfsj) so we're making progress !! :D#hyped hyped hyped for thatttt#i miss that big empty lot in belle isle for this kinda thing but that's alright. tiny sidewalk we must join forces now#//i'm running out of tag space n i'm sposed to be doin stuff Hfhkhfjsv - toodles tooooodles :D !!
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Nature is healing.
I burned the Meadow a couple weeks ago. At first it looked like nothing but charred ashes and dirt, with a few scorched green patches, and I was afraid I'd done something terrible. But then the sprouts emerged. Tender new leaves swarming the soil.
My brother and I were outside after dark the other day, to see if any lightning bugs would emerge yet. We had been working on digging the pond. That old soggy spot in the middle of the yard that we called "poor drainage," that always splattered mud over our legs when we ran across it as childrenâit isn't a failed lawn, and it never was.
Oh, we tried to fill in the mud puddles, even rented heavy machinery and graded the whole thing out, but the little wetland still remembered. God bless those indomitable puddles and wetlands and weeds, that in spite of our efforts to flatten out the differences that make each square meter of land unique from another, still declare themselves over and over to be what they are.
So we've been digging a hole. A wide, shallow hole, with an island in the middle.
And steadily, I've been transplanting in vegetation. At school there is a soggy field that sadly is mowed like any old field. The only pools where a frog could lay eggs are tire ruts. From this field I dig up big clumps of rushes and sedges, and nobody pays me any mind when I smuggle them home.
I pulled a little stick of shrubby willow from some cracked pavement near a creek, and planted it nearby. From a ditch on the side of the road beside a corn field, I dug up cattail rhizomes. Everywhere, tiny bits of wilderness, holding on.
I gathered up rotting logs small enough to carry and made a log pile beside the pond. At another corner is a rock pile. I planted some old branches upright in the ground to make a good place for birds and dragonflies to perch.
And there are so many birds! Mourning doves, robins, cardinals and grackles come here in much bigger numbers, and many, many finches and sparrows. I always hear woodpeckers, even a Pileated Woodpecker here and there. A pair of bluebirds lives here. There are three tree swallows, a barn swallow also, tons of chickadees, and there's always six or seven blue jays screaming and making a commotion. And the goldfinches! Yesterday I watched three brilliant yellow males frolic among the tall dandelions. They would hover above the grass and then drop down. One landed on a dandelion stem and it flopped over. There are several bright orange birds too. I think a couple of them are orioles, but there's definitely also a Summer Tanager. There's a pair of Canada Geese that always fly by overhead around the same time in the evening. It's like their daily commute.
The other day, as I watched, I saw a Cooper's Hawk swoop down and carry off a robin. This was horrifying news for the robin individually, but great news for the ecosystem. The food chain can support more links now.
There are two garter snakes instead of one, both of them fat from being good at snaking. I wonder if there will be babies?
But the biggest change this year is the bugs. It's too early for the lightning bugs, but all the same the yard is full of life.
It's like remembering something I didn't know I forgot. Oh. This is how it's supposed to be. I can't glance in any direction without seeing the movement of bugs. Fat crickets and earwigs scuttle underneath my rock piles, wasps flit about and visit the pond's shore, an unbelievable variety of flies and bees visit the flowers, millipedes and centipedes hide under the logs. Butterflies, moths, and beetles big and small are everywhere.
I can't even describe it in terms of individual encounters; they're just everywhere, hopping and fluttering away with every step. There are so many kinds of ants. I sometimes stare really closely at the ground to watch the activities of the ants. Sometimes they are in long lines, with two lanes of ants going back and forth, touching antennae whenever two ants traveling in opposite directions meet. Sometimes I see ants fighting each other, as though ant war is happening. Sometimes the ants are carrying the curled-up bodies of dead antsâtheir fallen comrades?
My neighbor gave me all of their fallen leaves (twelve bags!) and it turns out that piling leaves on top of a rock and log pile in a wet area summons an unbelievable amount of snails.
I always heard of snails as pests, but I have learned better. Snails move calcium through the food chain. Birds eat snails and use the calcium in their shells to make egg shells. In this way, snails lead to baby birds. I never would have known this if I hadn't set out to learn about snails.
In the golden hour of evening, bugs drift across the sky like golden motes of dust, whirling and dancing together in the grand dramas of their tiny lives. I think about how complicated their worlds are. After interacting with bees and wasps so much for so long, I'm amazed by how intelligent and polite they are. Bumble bees will hover in front of me, swaying side to side, or circle slowly around me several times, clearly perceiving some kind of information...but what? It seems like bees and wasps can figure out if you are a threat, or if you are peaceful, and act accordingly.
I came to a realization about wasps: when they dart at your head so you hear them buzzing close by your ears, they're announcing their presence. The proper response is to freeze and duck down a bit. It seems like wasps can recognize if you're being polite; for what it's worth, I've never been stung by a wasp.
As night falls, bats emerge and start looping and darting around in the sky above. If the yard seems full of bugs in the day, it is nothing compared to the night.
I'm aware that what I'm about to describe, to an entomophobe, sounds like a horror movie: when i walk to the back yard, the trees are audibly crackling and whirring with the activity of insects. Beetles hover among the branches of the trees. When we look up at the sky, moths of all sizes are flying hither and thither across it. A large, very striking white moth flies past low to the ground.
Last year, seeing a moth against the darkening sky was only occasional. Now there's so many of them.
I consider it in my mind:
When roads and houses are built and land is turned over to various human uses, potentially hundreds of native plant species are extirpated from that small area. But all of the Eastern USA has been heavily altered and destroyed.
Some plants come back easily, like wild blackberry, daisy fleabane, and common violets. But many of them do not. Some plants need fire to sprout, some need Bison or large birds to spread them, some need humans to harvest and care for them, some live in habitats that are frequently treated with contempt, some cannot bear to be grazed by cattle, some are suffocated beneath invasive Tall Fescue, Kentucky bluegrass, honeysuckle or Bradford pears, and some don't like being mowed or bushhogged.
Look at the landscape...hundreds and hundreds of acres of suburbs, pastures, corn fields, pavement, mowed verges and edges of roads.
Yes, you see milkweed now and then, a few plants on the edge of the road, but when you consider the total area of space covered by milkweed, it is so little it is nearly negligible. Imagine how many milkweed plants could grow in a single acre that was caretaken for their prosperityâenough to equal fifty roadsides put together!
Then I consider how many bugs are specialists, that can only feed upon a particular plant. Every kind of plant has its own bugs. When plant diversity is replaced by Plant Sameness, the bug population decreases dramatically.
Plant sameness has taken over the world, and the insect apocalypse is a result.
But in this one small spot, nature is healing...
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protective ex-husband!simon, implied violence/break-in
âi know! and thatâs when i told her-â you paused, your hand halfway to the keys at the bottom of your purse. your apartment door was open, a menacing sliver of darkness awaiting you. âhey, iâm going to have to call you back.â you ended the call with your friend, slowly backing away from your door. shit. you knew you locked the door when you left for work, and no one else had a copy of your key. a creeping sensation came over you, like someone was watching from within. slowly, you retreated, taking the elevator down to your apartmentâs lobby as the anxiety crawled through your body. you wracked your brain, wondering if you should call the police. wondering if they would even believe you. there was only one call to make.
âcome on, pick up.â you tapped your foot impatiently as your ex husband took forever to answer the phone. it was all you could do to not think about your home being violated, about a potential stalker or date gone wrong.
ââello?â
âsi- simon, itâs me.â
âi know, lovie. thatâs why i picked up.â you let out a quiet sob of relief at his voice, the bottle on your emotions starting to leak.
âwhatâs wrong?â his voice changed, immediately hearing your silent tears. he could always read you too well. âi donât want to bother you butâ you hiccupped. shit. âbut my apartment door was open and iâm pretty sure i closed it, i usually do. i donât know if im being silly but now im in the lobby and im just scared, simon.â there was a fumbling sound, the echoes of simon zipping up his jacket and pulling on his shoes.
âgo to that cafe across the street, dove. go get yourself one of those overpriced hot chocolates. iâll be there in 15.â
9 minutes later, your shaking hands were tapping random patterns on the cafe table, unable to raise your drink to your mouth without spilling it. your eyes were locked onto the wood grain, counting lines to distract yourself.
suddenly, a gloved hand covered yours. you looked up and there he was, your ghost in all his glory. you forgot everything for a second, forgot the past arguments and the strained silences, and flung yourself into his arms. you breathed in his comforting scent of pinewood that masked his cigarettes, a cologne you got him four years ago for christmas. your face was wet, and as he pulled you back to check you for injuries, his thumb brushed a stray tear away from your face. you didnât even realize you were crying.
ââs okay, baby. iâm here now. give me your keys.â you fumbled for your keys, purse strap sliding off your shoulder as your hands shook too much to keep it balanced. simon caught it gracefully, finding your keys in the same pocket you always kept them. âstay here. iâll be back.â you nodded instinctively. only when you saw his figure retreat to your apartment building, clothed in all black like a figure of death, you realized you hadnât told him your new apartment number.
twenty minutes passed. simonâs presence had worked like medicine as your heart rate has now dropped back down to normal, your hands stable enough to finish your drink. any other person would be worried for simonâs safety, but you knew the only person you should be concerned for was your intruder.
âyouâre stayinâ with me tonight.â he was back, looking exactly the same. he wasnât even winded. âthank you simon, but donât be ridiculous. i can get a hotel. you live so far from my work anyways.â he approached you, crowding into your space as he leaned over you, even with a cafe table in between. âconsider it payment then.â he tilted your chin up with his left hand as he hid his other one, covered with blood, in his pocket. âone way or another, youâre in my bed tonight, dove.â you gulped at that. âand iâve got riley in the car. you wouldnât abandon him, would you?â of course he had gotten your cat when he checked out your apartment. riley hated men, but never simon. cheeky bastard.
âyou win.â
fast forward a couple of hours and you were getting ready for bed at simonâs, belly full from the meal he had made you. riley made himself at home on the living room couch, of course. âheâs in my spot.â you gestured to your cat on the couch. âwhaâ dâya mean?â your husband simon was now in sweats and sweats only, clean from the shower he had after you both got home back to his place. you pretended not to see him methodically wash blood out of his fingernails, reasoning quite easily with yourself that it was for a good cause.
âmy couch for tonight.â simon moved toward you and you avoided his eyes, trying not to stare at how beautiful he still was. muscular but thick, torso adorned with scars you used to trace on sunday mornings when you both stayed in bed until the afternoon. he gripped your chin, forcing you to make eye contact. âtoldâya you were in my bed tonight, dovie.â you swallowed and he watched your throat move, memories of you swallowing something else countless times rising to the surface.
âdonât be silly, simon. that would cross a line.â
âwhat line?â his arms were crossed now, drawing your attention to an unfamiliar tattoo right above his heart. a small dove.
âweâre not together anymore, simon.â
âyouâre still my wife.â
silence. he was always like this, pushing you until you broke. he was unwilling to compromise, even on the smallest of issues. usually youâd fight him, spit fire until you lost your voice. tonight though, you were reminded of how he was the only person you were able to call, the only one committing dark sins without asking, all for your safety. instead, you threw your hands up and walked into his bedroom, mechanically stripping as you put on one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. you felt his eyes on you, burning a hole through the fabric. you were tired, so tired of this push and pull.
âwhat.â you whipped around, all venom. his eyes were impossibly soft, holding yours with a peaceful caress. âyouâre as beautiful as the day i lost you.â your fire went out at that. âyouâre just trying to get me naked.â you mumbled, looking down as you fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. you watched as his body came into view, pressing your forehead against his bare skin.
âcould see you in a thousand layers and youâd still be the most beautiful person iâve ever seen, dove.â ever so slowly, your hands crept up his body to grab his shoulders and neck. he picked you up with ease, turning the lights off and tucking you both in bed. âwhen did you get the tattoo?â you asked in the dark.
â3 months and 12 days ago.â what would have been your 3rd year of marriage, your anniversary. you lowered your head and gave him a kiss right where the tattoo was. âcan we talk about it in the morning?â you snuggled into him, that familiar scent calming you once again. âalways, dove.â he kissed your forehead, smiling in the dark.
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idk why im obsessed with the break-in and simon to the rescue trope but its fueling me lately
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley smut#simon riley wife#ghost call of duty#tornadothoughts#ex husband ghost#fluff
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Iâm not even gonna lie, my grief over Mabel is making me insane
#every time i remember sheâs not here i hear this roaring in my ears and i just break down and cry#i keep trying to pretend sheâs just asleep in the other room but itâs not working#looking at pictures of her just makes me cry. the people who will be cremating her are going to take a clipping of fur and a pawprint from#her for me but i donât know what iâm going to do with those things. like where iâll put them#i know once iâm a bit more emotionally stable iâll regret not having them. i wish i had some of kimâs fur. i forgot the feel of his fur so#quickly and i always struggled with that. but i also know that having pieces of mabel wonât comfort me in the slightest right now because i#just want her back and i feel so so so guilty even though i know it was her time#sheâd gone so senile that she had a panic attack every time she went on a walk. it could last up to an hour. she was restless; refusing to#nap & barely able to sleep. she was riddled with arthritis to the point you could only touch her head; paws & maybe her chest#she bit if you tried to clean her or have her wear anything or sometimes if you put her lead on her. she never used to do that. that was a#new development that started in about june-july after she had two strokes. her little heart was racing and she was panting all the time f#she also had this growth in her mouth that may or may not have been infected or cancerous and she wasnât letting us examine it. we wouldnât#have been able to adminster treatment either because sheâd bite and thrash if we tried to look in her mouth#but she was still eating and drinking okay⌠drinking too much if anything. and she was more or less continent. and she would have some lucid#moments where she was wagging her tail at us and requesting pets. she could get in and out of the house no problem#it was just quality of life because i knew she was in pain & her brain and heart were both shutting down and she wasnât able to enjoy stuff#like walks that she used to love. and i knew she wouldnât survive this winter because she haaaated the cold#but i still feel guilty because i know she could probably have lived another month. but itâs also like. how much would that month of life#have stressed her out? sheâd already forgotten lots of people like my stepdad; my grandparents; my best friend and her kid. if sheâd have#forgotten me and/or the house she wouldâve been scared all the time and i never wanted that for her. i wanted her to have a good last couple#of days. and i think she did but thereâs part of me that still feels so guilty and wishes she was still here#even if she was just eating and drinking and sleeping. even if she stopped letting me pet her. but then i know iâd have been keeping her#around for me. i feel like i ended her suffering but i also potentially robbed her of some happy moments#i just canât get over the guilt of leaving her on that floor by herself. i sat there for ages waiting for someone to carry her out but then#i realised they were waiting for me to leave so i just walked out and it felt so wrong. she would have hated that she went to sleep on a#cold hard floor. she didnât even lie on the floor voluntarily. she slept on the dining room couch or in her bed#i canât stop crying whenever i think of it. i feel like shit and i donât know how to move on#i put all her things in the garage to be sorted out when iâm less upset. apart from her collar and her blankets#i put her collar around one of the stair bannisters and i gave her blankets to my friend for her dog#i donât know what iâll do when she comes back to me in an urn. scream and cry and throw up probably
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Not a request but NEW TRAITOR CHAP WHEN??? prioritize urself no rush Pookie just the ppl gotta know
part 7 is here đ
ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE
it was pouring rain as you slid from the taxi, the driver attempting to yell at you to shut the door as thunder rumbled overhead.
you paid him no heed; boots splashed in murky puddles as you pushed the door closed and moved towards the yellow cabâs trunk.
you could barely hear yourself think. the rain was battering the ground as if locked in a viscous war with the cracked pavementâ puddles forming as the asphalt resisted with all its might. it wasnât enough, water seeping into the ground and muddying the grass nearby, drowning it mercilessly.
you grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder before shutting the trunk. youâd barely stepped back from the car before it was speeding off, kicking up water and splashing your legs.
you didnât mindâ you were soaked through to the bone, anyways. besides, you didnât mind the storm. it was comfortâ a distraction from what lay ahead.
your new team. a small, covert operations group made up of the best of the best. two sergeants, a lieutenant, a captainâ and they wanted one more soldier.
the opening couldnât have come at a better time. youâd run your course with your old squad. theyâd been fineâ until they werenât. carelessness and ignorance from teammates almost resulted in your untimely death, and laswell hadnât questioned your transfer request after hearing the tale.
in fact, sheâd recommended the one-four-one to you.
you thought youâd be meeting them on base, but the captain had requested you meet them here, instead. a run-down old diner, with its bright, neon pink sign blinking down at you through the rain.
you inhaled, then exhaled. clenched your fists, then unclenched them. it was a habit youâd had since you were a child. it forced you to slow down and think, to overcome the emotions you were lost in.
you blinked. rain ran down your face, creating false tears as it streamed from the corners of your eyes. you were sure you looked a sight.
another inhale, another exhale, and then you moved towards the dinerâs door. you pushed it open, stepping inside and wiping your boots on the mat in front of the door.
âI think youâre gonna need to do more than that to dry off, sweetheartâ a womanâs voice calls to you, causing you to look up towards the counter. sheâs grimacing, looking you up and down. no doubt sheâll be following your path through the building with a mop in hand.
âsorry,â you tell her, trying to brush some water from your jacket. âforgot my umbrella.â
the woman gave a huff, waving her hand before turning and attending to an ancient-looking coffee maker.
you take the time to glance around the diner then, noting the substantial lack of customers. only two booths were occupied, one containing a young couple tangled in each otherâs arms, and the other containing a man wearing a baseball cap with the UK flag patched on it.
he looked up from his phone as you approached, seemingly unsurprised based on the grin he gave you.
âglad to see you got here in one piece,â he says as you shrug off your bag, placing it on the floor as you slide into the seat across from him.
âone drenched piece,â you say, and he gives a small chuckle.
âim kyle,â the man tells you. âdonât know what laswell told you,â he clicks off his phone and places it on the table. âbut im one of the sergeants.â
you nod. âcallsign âgaz,â right?â
he gives a nod of his own. his phone buzzes, the screen lighting up. his eyes glance down, scan the message, then meet yours once more.
ârest of the team got held up. price is in a meeting. johnny and ghost are on assignment, but theyâre due back any day now.â
âso youâre the welcome committee by default, huh?â you say, and he laughs.
âguess i am. have i scared you off yet?â
âdunno,â you tell him. âbut laswell sings your praises. the captainâs, especially.â
âshe sings yours, too.â kyle says.
you give a small nod, your mind racing at what laswell may have told the task force. you werenât bad at your jobâ you were great at it. a great shot, a reliable solider, a tireless sentry.
your emotions got the better of you at times, that was all. attachments and bonds that formed, linking you and your fellow soldiers together in the web of warfare. tying you around the wrist and dragging you along, for better or worse. little siblings or lovers evolving from what once had been just another set of boots on the ground.
this job was all you had. you found family where you had too, and it made you all the more loyal. but when you were spurned? when the fire leapt from the pit and scorched your skin?
you werenât quick to forgive, and you found that reasonable in this line of work. mistakes by teammates could get you killed. who could blame you for holding a grudge against an ally who had almost cost you your life?
itâs why you were here now. a new start with a new teamâ a team of the best, you included.
kyleâs phone buzzes again. he picks it up, the screen illuminating his face as the lights flicker overhead. the storm wasnât letting up.
âcapâs on his wayâ says heâll be here in less than 30.â
âprice, right?â you recall his name. kyle nods.
âdonât tell him I told you,â he leans in, a mischievous look in his eyes, âbut heâs been lookinâ forward to meeting you. maybe even more than johnny has.â
âwhyâs that?â
âsaid the one-four-one is overdue for someone else who can kick johnnyâs ass. wants you to knock him down a few more pegs.â
you laugh at that, giving a small shake of your head. kyleâs lips curl into a smile. ânah, heâs just happy to have some more hands on deck. always helps to have another person thatâll watch your back.â
as kyle starts talking again, you find your nerves settling.
maybe this team could be your new family.
you looked down at your hands, noting the slight shake of them. you donât think theyâd been steady since before everything happened.
your eyes glance to the ugly, scarred stump of the finger youâd lost. simon hadnât chopped it off prettily, and itâd been stitched up hastily. you couldnât blame the doctor, there had been more pressing injuries to attend to.
such as the bone-deep cut to one leg, growing infected from your time spent in the chair. the scar was long, stretching from the top of your thigh to your knee. it was still pink, a sign of your body still trying to put itself back together.
your torso wasnât much better. jagged scars and puckered knots of skin marred your image. both from before and from after.
your eyes met your own in the mirror. you barely recognized yourself. the anger within you still burned, but its flame had reduced to a simmer. exhaustion, apathy, and shame had taken its place.
perhaps that was a good thing. it saved you the energy of fighting the men you inevitably saw every day. despite your numerous pleas and demands for them to simply leave you alone, they seemed to have a hard time listening. it made you want to scream. to hurt them, digging your fingers into skin until they understood the pain behind your words.
a knock sounded at the door. you didnât move.
a knock again. you could hear the shuffle of feet outside the door. you wished whoever it was would leave you be.
another knock, accompanied by the soft timbre of kyleâs voice.
âlove, you alright in there?â he was saying. you still stood before the mirror.
things had been different since you attacked the doctor. it had only been a few days, but word spread quickly through base. if people had avoided you before, you were like the plague now.
and the shame you felt was insurmountable. the pain and regret and fury were building like a tidal wave in your stomach, rising and choking the air from your lungs.
you wanted to leave this place. get away from the men you once called family, the one you once called yours.
but leaving meant the end of your career. you just had to hold out until kate arranged your transfer, thatâs all. just a few more days, right?
and then this place and these people wouldnât be a constant reminder of what had happened to you. of what it had done to you, physically and mentally.
âgo, kyle,â you called out to him, breaking from your trance as you reached for the scratchy robe johnny had gifted you one christmas.
ânot until i see you breathinâ, love.â
you sigh, tying the robe shut and hugging the material to your body. you moved to the door, turning the lock before inching it open.
âbreathing,â you tell him, watching as his eyes flick away from yours. god, it made you want to strangle him.
to yell at him, to yell at all of themâ "you did this, and you should be able to look me in the eyes and see it.â
ânow go.â
he looks at you again, eyebrows furrowed in worry. âwill you let me in?â he asks, and you scoff as you move to slam the door.
âfuck off, kyle.â
but heâs quick, and his hand shoots out, grasping the doorâs wooden edge and keeping it from closing.
âwe need to talk.â
âwhatever you need to say, you can say it from there,â you tell him, and he pauses for a minute before he nods.
âdoc is asking about you again. sheâs up and runninâ around. said she wants to see you.â
your lips press into a thin line. you didnât deserve that womanâs kindness, not after what youâd done to her.
you hadnât been in your right mind, but that didnât excuse it. you had bloodied your fists; harmed an innocent in the war between you and your own mind.
you didnât want to see her still worrying about you when you had assured her you were fine. you had left her supervision, and then youâd attacked her. and you hadnât stopped until simon had pulled you away.
you wouldâve killed her, you know that in your heart. you wouldâve killed her, thinking she was one of the men who had wanted to kill you.
âtell her im fine,â you said, your hand tightening around the doorâs knob.
âi think sheâd rather see that for herself,â he says.
âim fine,â you repeat. âiâll be out of everyoneâs hair in a few days, anyways.â
kyleâs eyebrows lifted in surprise. âyouâre leaving?â
he knew this, they all did. perhaps they just didnât truly believe it. all of them, every single one, still thought youâd turn around and run back into their arms.
bastards.
âas soon as laswell gives the word,â you reply. âshould be soon.â
kyle doesnât speak. heâs obviously biting his tongueâ youâd seen the expression that was on his face enough to know when he was holding back, but you didnât prod like you wouldâve before.
let him keep his secrets, lies, promises, and sorries. you didnât need them anymore.
âdonât bother me again,â you said before shutting the door in his face.
you hear him sigh on the other side of the wood, then hear the retreat of his steps. you turn back to the mirror, snarl, and grab the alarm clock from your nightstand.
you throw it into the glass, shattering it to pieces. seven years of bad luck, you think.
well, it couldnât get much worse, could it?
kyle sighs, staring at your door for a second longer before turning away. simon looks down at him from where he was leaning against the wall, hidden from your view, his muscled arms crossed over his chest.
âsurprised?â simon asks as the two of them retreat down the hallway. he makes sure theyâre far enough from your door before speaking, so that you wonât hear his voice.
âwe knew it was happening, price said as much after that whole thing with johnny,â kyle replies, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. âjust thought this might change things.â
âchange âem how?â simon says. âif anythinâ, this speeds it up. theyâre a liability now.â
âtheyâre hurt, ghost,â kyle retorts, his eyes meeting his superiorâs. âthatâs ptsd. not everyoneâs as forgiving as the doc. they attack someone outside and thatâs a fucking felony.â
âthatâs not our problem, sergeant,â comes simonâs baritone reply, and kyle stops.
âyouâre a fuckinâ case yourself, yâknow that, LT?â he says, and simon stops. âwe all played a part,â kyle continues. âbut you? you wouldâve killed âem if we never knew the truth. i know you wouldâve. iâve seen you do it.â
the men stare at each other. simonâs expression is hidden underneath his balaclava, but kyle knows itâs unreadable regardless.
mean, old ghost. heartless bastard, loyal to the mission only. thatâs what the others around base whispered to each other.
kyle had seen proof to the contrary. yes, simon was loyal to the mission. but he was also loyal to his team, his family. you.
he was loyal to you.
âwatch yourself, sergeant,â simon speaks, his voice a dangerous rumble.
kyle scoffs and walks off, shaking his head.
simon watches him go, his breath steady.
kyle didnât understand him, not really. not the way you had begun to. and that was his own fault, he knows it. forever holding those close to him at arms length for fear of the worst.
heâd let you inâ let you invade that space he enforced so ruthlessly. and the worst had happened.
kyle doesnât know this is tearing him in half; none of the team does. they donât understand that simon wants you to stay because youâre you, but he wants you gone because he can see how this is killing you.
even when heâs the villain in your story, heâs still trying to look out for youâ in his own, twisted way.
he doesnât regret it. that is cemented in his mind. but as he grapples with his own emotions, his mind in its own turmoil, he knows he wants you to be okay.
âim sorry,â he had spoken to deaf ears.
sorry for the ripping apart of your life, but not sorry for what he had done.
deep down, he knew you would never forgive them. he knew that leaving this team would be the best thing for you.
he knew, he knew, he knew.
knowing and accepting are two different things.
hope this was worth the wait! i think the next part will be the end, unless my idea changes đ
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley#simon riley x gn reader#simon ghost x reader#john price#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley angst#cod modern warfare#captain price#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty fic#traitor!141!reader#traitor!reader#141!reader#141 x reader#task force 141#tf 141#johnny mactavish#captain john price#kyle gaz#kyle gaz garrick#kyle Garrick#simon ghost x you#simon ghost angst#ghost x gn reader#ghost x you#ghost angst#ghost call of duty
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Leoâs Little Love : ĚĚâ Charles LeClerc
summary: the birth of your daughter was supposed to be the happiest moment for you and charles, but both of you forgot about leo too
Your little family had almost been complete for quite some time. You, Charles and Leo. The perfect trio. Why fix something that isnât broke? Why add to the chaos of your crazy lives? Well, because you both couldnât wait to become parents.Â
It never was meant to be so soon, neither you or Charles had planned to fall pregnant quite so suddenly but your life had always been mayhem, and pregnancy was just another cog to add to the wheel of things that you needed to juggle together. Â
It had been touch and go for quite some time as your babyâs arrival loomed. With just two weeks to go Charles had never been happier to see the start of the summer break which meant at last he could be glued to your side and be there just in case anything happened.Â
Being at home was something that Charles very quickly got used to, laid out on the sofa with you tucked into his side. Charles didnât always get his own way though, with Leo snuggled just underneath your bump to block Charles holding onto it.Â
âI wonder how heâs going to be.âÂ
Your attention was pulled from your book when Charles spoke, following his gaze down to where Leo laid, snoring lightly with his eyes tight shut.Â
âWhat do you mean?â You asked him.Â
âIâm just thinking about when the baby arrives, do you think Leo will respond well to not being the centre of our attention anymore?â Charles questioned.Â
Your eyes flickered between Charles and Leo and your bump as you pondered Charlesâ question. Truthfully, it was something that you had never quite thought about before, but if there was one word that youâd use to describe Leo, it was definitely needy. Â
âI think heâll enjoy having someone else to be around,â you spoke after a few moments.Â
âHeâll definitely love an extra body to cuddle up to.âÂ
It was almost as if he knew that you were talking about him, as Leoâs head lifted up and his wide eyes looked at you both as if to remind you that he could hear everything. Â
âYou know, Iâve got a feeling that Leo and this baby might just end up being the best of friends, I definitely think weâre going to have trouble on our hands.âÂ
Ever since that conversation you pictured how your family, or especially Leo, would adapt to the baby, counting down the days until all those dream scenarios became a reality. Â
And just a couple of weeks later your little girl arrived. It was tougher than you could have ever imagined, but with Charles not leaving your side for the many hours that you were in labour for, your family was soon complete. Charles was an emotional mess beside you, but through his tears he knew that heâd just experienced the best moments of his entire life.Â
You mightâve been a little bit bias, but your baby girl was the definition of perfect. Straight away you were drawn to her bright eyes, a striking resemblance to Charlesâ. They captured your attention, just like Charlesâ had done many years ago when the two of you first met. Â
And as Charles held her for the first time and you got your first look at the two of them side by side, you knew you had a daddyâs girl on your hands. She was instantly besotted, settled and comfortable in Charlesâ strong hold, almost as if you were the one who was intruding on the moment between your husband and your child despite being the one to bring her into the world.Â
âItâs a good job weâve got Leo otherwise I think Iâd be outnumbered at home with you two,â you joked as Charles made himself comfortable. Â
You knew deep down though you wouldnât have Leo for long, as the two of you arrived home with your daughter. It had been a couple of days since he got to see you and Charles, unaware that a new arrival was waiting on the other side of the door to greet him too.Â
Together you took things slowly as you returned to your apartment, Charles took Leo into your bedroom whilst you settled in the living room with your daughter. Once you were sure that she was settled you called through to Charles who poked his head out from behind the bedroom door.Â
âAre you absolutely sure about doing this now?â Charles nervously asked you.Â
âCharles, weâre going to have to do it sooner or later. We might as well get it over with whilst theyâre both pretty settled.âÂ
He trusted you more than anyone, and so Charles decided to open the bedroom door and allow Leo to come out. It was as if nothing was going on as if strolled through the apartment, that was until his eye was caught by the carrier that sat on your living room floor. Charles came over and sat beside you, his hand on your thigh as Leo began to inspect.Â
Leo had a little sniff around the carrier as he familiarised with the something new that had entered his home. After giving him a moment you reached into the carrier and lifted your daughter out, holding her just in front of where Leo was.Â
It took a little while for Leo to stop fussing over your daughter, looking up at you and Charles. His eyes told the two of you that he approved of your little girl, walking away from her once he was happy with what was going on.Â
âSee, I told you there was nothing to worry about.âÂ
Your words were truer than ever though that night as Charles laid on your bed with his daughter laid just beside him. You walked through after taking an overdue shower, surprised to see that there was another addition to your bed. They say that three is a crowd, but not in this case.Â
Your heart felt like it could burst as your daughter laid between Charles on her left, and Leo on her right, his head almost touching hers as if to reassure her that he was right beside her too.Â
Charlesâ eyes knew exactly where you were looking. You were supposed to be annoyed that your side of the bed had been stolen, but instead it was a memory that you wanted to snapshot for the rest of your life.Â
You were sure that you had never seen anything so beautiful in your life, Leo had made sure your daughter was well protected and surrounded by love. Even Charles couldnât get as close to her as Leo was, firmly establishing himself as her number one.Â
Just like you, Charles couldnât fault the scene that was unfolding in front of you though. Things had gone better than either of you could have ever imagined, all of the concerns that Charles had had long been forgotten now that your family of four were all home together. Â
âWhy do I feel like weâre never going to be allowed near our daughter ever again?â Charles laughed across at you.Â
âI think out of the three of us, sheâs definitely Leoâs love before sheâs ours,â you added, unable to wipe the smile from your face. âI think theyâre going to be the best of friends.âÂ
Charles hummed in agreement with you, tilting his head down to watch them both once again. If he could pause time forever, he absolutely would. It was all that he had ever dreamt of, and so much more.Â
âWeâve got the two most beautiful children in the world.âÂ
ËËË đđđđđđđđđđ ! ´ËË
#f1#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x you#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#formula one#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc x reader#formula one x you#formula x reader#formula 1 drabble#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you
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Spell on You / Logan Howlett
pairing: bestfriend!logan x f!witch!reader summary: when logan finds out another man bought you a drink at a halloween party, your relationship changes word count: 2.2k a/n: scott is an ass because i just know movie!cyclops would love to mess with logan's love life ('97 scott stays too busy for this). this is a bit rushed but i hope you enjoy!! warnings: reader wears a dress and thigh highs (slay), alcohol consumption, mention of smoke, jealousy, fluff, classic bff to lovers trope
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The bum. bum. bum. of the music echoed throughout the establishment, vibrating against its walls and floorboards. The sea of bar-crawlers intent on having the worst of hangovers in the morning were shoulder to shoulder, bumping against Logan as he made his way through the crowd to you.
The room reeked of smoke of various kinds and if it hadn't been for the overworking of the fans above, Logan was sure he would've gotten high secondhand. But it was Halloween night- certain factors were out of his control.
Though, like a lighthouse in the night, Logan heard your voice beckoning him over to the bar.
"Boooooooo!" You shouted, glass in your hand. "You were supposed to dress up!"
Logan smirked at your complaint, leaning against the bar.
"Yeah?" He asked. "'Cause you're so original?"
Logan's eyes trailed from your thigh high boots to your dress to finally, a witch's hat. Being a witch yourself, the irony was unavoidable.
"Very creative, sweetheart."
You felt a heart skip a beat at your best friend's pet name.
In shock of many, you and Logan had become fast friends. The man who had always managed to have a perpetually grumpy demeanor about him had paired perfectly with you. You were able to brush off Logan's jokes, matching them with your own in a way that had escalated so far as to make your fellow X-Men wonder if the two of you had begun to speak your own language.
"At least it's a costume, Logan." You argued. "What are you meant to be?"
"-Oh I've got this one."
Scott.
Any inclination of joy written on Logan's face was quickly erased.
"A dick?" Scott said, slinging his arm around your shoulder. "I've gotta say Logan, you've nailed it."
Logan rolled his eyes, inching closer to the two of you as a couple nudged against him to order at the bar. Noting the drink in your hand, Logan shifted the conversation.
"I thought I told you I was buying tonight?"
Your eyes lowered from Logan's to the drink in your hand. You traced the rim of the glass as you shrugged.
"Oh this-â
Scott interrupted:
"Guy over there bought it for her." Scott said, a shit-eating grin on his face as he pointed to the opposite end of the establishment. "Told her he'd be back later 'to get to know her better'."
You felt yourself grow warm under Logan's gaze, refusing to meet his eyes.
Lately yours and Logan's relationship had become more complicated, blurring the lines between friendship and something more. Pet names like sweetheart and princess flowed out of his mouth without a second thought. You had stopped going on dates with new men- something about it feeling wrong when you and Logan had... whatever you had. He was your best friend, that you were sure of. But, with Logan's eyes burning a hole through you, you wondered if he still felt that way.
You had been hoping to keep the drink a secret and avoid speaking to the man later in the night, but you should've known that Scott and Logan's rivalry would make any chance of that impossible.
Logan's eyes trailed from you to the man Scott was pointing to across the room. He looked about your age, dressed with a cloak around his shoulders and a pair of cheap plastic teeth slipping from his mouth as he laughed with his friends.
Logan scowled, raising his eyebrow at you.
"You into... that?"
You shrugged, hiding your eyes beneath the rim of your hat.
"It's just a drink, Logan." You said. "He probably forgot about me anyway."
Holding his gaze, Logan slowly nodded, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"You want your usual?"
You furrowed your eyebrows.
"What are you talking about, Lo?" You asked. "I have a drink."
Logan shook his head, tapping his fingers against the bar to get the bartender's attention.
"I'm not gonna sit here and watch you have some other guy's drink." Logan said firmly. "Now, what are you having? 'Cause you either tell me, or I'm ordering for you."
You felt a burning sensation in your chest as your pulse quickened.
You were used to Logan's stubbornness and protective regard for those he cared about, but you had never seen him so firm with you before. You were someone who could handle yourself and as much as he worried about you, he had never claimed you in such a way as he did now.
If you hadn't known better, you would have thought he was jealous.
"My usual."
You watched as he leaned over the bar, ordering the both of your drinks from the bartender.
The lighting in the bar was dim. Most of the things that you could make out were highlighted by an array of multicolored LED lights that had been flickering throughout the room.
The light above Logan's head flicked from green to purple, showcasing the sheen of sweat that had begun running down his temple from the capacity of the party. His sleeves were rolled to his elbow, the veins in his arms protruding as he leaned against the counter top.
Sometimes you wondered what it felt like- to be one of the women who had the opportunity to touch Logan. You had had passing touches here and there but you wondered if you could feel the weight of his adamantium bones in your hand- whether his skin remained rough despite his regenerative abilities.
The thoughts were cruel. He was your friend.
But then again, were you really his?
Logan handed you your drink, leaning the small of his back against the counter. Gingerly taking the glass from his hands, your fingertips graced his skin.
The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, feeling the vibrations of the DJ's music against your feet. You listened to indistinguishable chatter rattle throughout the building.
"He said he liked the 'juxtaposition of my face to the costume'." You said, referring to the man who bought you a drink. "I'm not even sure that he used the word right."
A smirk rose onto Logan's face.
"What a dick." Logan scoffed, nursing his whiskey.
You laughed along with him, nudging your elbow into his side.
"He is, isn't he?" You joked. "I bet he's super pretentious."
Logan glanced down at you, noticing the small smile that graced your lips as you met his eyes.
God, he felt silly. He was over two hundred years old and yet, he found himself with a crush on a woman and unable to tell her. With anyone else, he would have made a move the second he saw them. But you were his friend- his closest friend.
You had a relationship that meant more to him than anything in his life. Did he want you? Yes, but he wasn't going to be the one to admit it and scare you off. It had to be you.
So Logan put out his feelers and afforded himself plausible deniability- calling you sweetheart, buying you drinks... sitting by your side after a mission went sideways. However, there was something about the two of you sharing a life in the mansion that made him forget that other men could see you the way that he did.
Seeing the multicolored lights illuminate your skin and the way your eyelashes batted as you smiled up at him, Logan was reminded that he didn't have forever.
"Not your thing?" He asked.
Logan asked it casually. He was still leaned over the bar, but his body had turned to encase yours- one arm snaking itself around your back while the other held the whiskey glass.
The space between you grew hot and you could feel his warm breath against your face. The scent of the cologne that you had gotten him for his birthday drifted up your nose as he hovered closer.
Sometimes you felt that Logan was off living a dozen lifetimes in his head despite standing directly in front of you, but here... now... his focus was entirely on you and you knew he was waiting on your answer with bated breath.
You don't know whether it was the liquor or the realisation that the wolverine had placed you at the center of his universe, but you gained a confidence you had lacked in the weeks since your relationship shifted.
Glancing at his empty glass, you flicked your hand, filling it up.
"No," You sighed as your eyes trailed up his body. "I like them a bit... rougher around the edges."
This, Logan decided, was your sign. You were pushing the boundaries just as he had done, seeing if he'd take the bait.
Logan's eyes narrowed as he leaned in further. The music in the bar was getting increasingly louder as the night went on and Logan's lips were now inches from your ear, sending goosebumps down your neck.
"That right?" Logan asked.
"Mhm."
Logan could hear your heart pounding in your chest and felt peace in knowing that his was doing the same. This wasn't the same as his other ventures- he wouldn't wake up in the morning to find an empty space in his mattress where you had been the night before. What you two had would be permanent, he told himself; a fixture in an otherwise chaotic life like his.
In the life of a man with regeneration, he rarely worried about what happened next. But with his lips grazing the skin of the woman he loved most, Logan could feel a drop of whiskey hit his skin- fallen from the glass that sat in his shaking hand.
Then, he felt your hands push gently against his chest. And his world came crashing down.
Your eyes meeting his, you shook your head.
"I love you, Logan."
For anyone else, this would've been confirmation. But Logan had heard these words from you a hundred times. You loved him... platonically. He felt the wind knocked out of him at what he thought was resignation.
Pulling away, Logan nodded.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Hearing him say it in the same voice he always did- the dismissive tone meant to mask any indication of care- you gripped his shirt, forcing him to look at you.
"No." You said firmly. "I love you. I'm saying this can't be a one night thing, Logan. I love you."
Logan saw the desperation in your eyes and couldn't hold back. He slammed his drink against the bar and held your face in his hands.
"Wouldn't dream of it."
His thumbs brushed against your cheeks, thinking that as silly as it was, what he had been waiting for was finally happening. No matter the amount of times he had touched you, this time was different. As strong as you were, he was afraid to ruin the precious object he was holding in his hands- you and your future.
Logan swore your cheeks were softer and the scent of your perfume had wrapped himself around your finger.
"Say it back, Lo."
The sound of his name rolling off your tongue was enough confirmation he needed. Pulling your face to his, Logan's lips crashed against yours.
Your fingers never left his shirt, pulling him closer to you as you hummed into the kiss. Logan's hands moved to lay against your waist. The noise of the bar fell away as Logan focused on your breathing and the skip of your heartbeat as he squeezed you tighter.
When he heard the familiar, hypnotic hum of your magic, he pulled away only slightly.
In the heat of your kiss, a forcefield had formed around the two of you. When you noticed the golden shimmer of your magic, you pulled your hands way from Logan, bringing the forcefield down with it.
"Sorry."
Logan smirked.
"Don't gotta be worried," He said, running his thumb against your cheek. "You're safe with me."
Logan wasn't sure if he'd be able to always keep you safe in the hectic life that you two shared, but he would be damned if he wouldn't die trying. You two fit together like pieces of a puzzle and although he wasn't sure how it would work, if one thing was for sure- you weren't losing him.
"I love you too."
Holding you in his hands, the knowledge finally settling in that you were his, this dingey bar was the last place he wanted to be.
And it was as if you read his mind.
"Can we get out of here?"
Glancing around the room, Logan noticed two things: one being that half the eyes in the room were on you since your accidental forcefield, and the other, Scott barreling over through a crowd of college girls towards you. These two things paired with the fact that the woman of his dreams was standing beside him, Logan was more than ready to, kindly, get the fuck out of there.
Logan wrapped his arm around your shoulder and guided you out of the bar.
"That's my girl."
author's note: thank you for reading! just a short lil oneshot for spooky season
#logan howlett#wolverine#the wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#xmen fanfiction#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine fluff#logan howlett fluff#logan x reader#wolverine x you
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