#*bathroom sorry
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get MOLTED, idiot
#genshin impact#venti#jean gunnhildr#zilly art#could he just use the wind to help? probably yeah#is he smart enough to do this? absolutely not#he either always got dvalin to lick it better. or liyue's water system get clogged#venti tries rubbing himself all over morax like a cat trying to get burs off but that rarely works#rip diluc's place would also be covered in feathers and a whiny archon#venti excuses himself to the bathroom mid-performance at angel share and promptly tells diluc he's got a mess to clean up in there#goes back to singing and drinking#diluc frantically stuffing feathers in a bag#he and jean ponder if they could make pillows with the down? sorry the pillows curse your dream with The Edlritch Horrors
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Steddie soulmate AU where Eddie is a famous musician, everyone assumes he doesn't have a soulmate. Eddie was just smart and doesn't confirm, doesn't want to go through rabid fans who claim to be his soulmate. He's had too many show up wearing his initials they tattooed on themselves even before he was asked about soulmates in an interview.
Enter Steve Harrington who works as a nurse. Just casually on his third nightshift in a row in the ER. Sipping some coffee trying not to fall asleep when they get the call about some confidential patient coming in.
Eddie comes in for some injury. Steve has 0 clue who he is, just says "You look familiar, did we go to school together?" And Eddie practically falls off the stretcher at Steve's feet. Goes all googoo eyes at him. Steve being mildly concerned because Eddie's heart rate keeps skyrocketing (its because Steve is touching him).
One of the other nurses can't help but try and get the gossip from Steve, who is very much confused as to why she cares about this random patient. She tells Steve who Eddie is, and he's just like ???? Okay???
Steve doesn't admit it but the picture she shows is HOT. It's Eddie, flipping off the camera, tongue out. He's covered in tattoos, including the word 'sorry' written in a weird script on his middle finger. He's shirtless and his pants are so low that Steve can see the dip of his hips creating a v and-
Steve has to walk into the supply room to get himself under control. Pretends it doesn't mean anything and goes back to his job as his heart thuds rapidly in his chest.
Eddie tries not to pass out when they draw his blood, Steve holds his hand. It feels right. Eddie can't help wanting to ask," Hey, do you have a soulmate?" But he hates being asked that question, so he won't.
Until Steve bends over, his scrub top lifting up slightly. Eddie can't help glancing at his ass, but then he can't breathe. Because on his lower back is the initials EJM.
"Steve G. H?" Eddie asks as his voice goes up an octave. Steve turns, bewildered ," How did you-?" "Edward James Munson." Eddie whispers.
Oh
#Eddie uses a temporary tattoo to change the G to look like an O and the H into a weird looking R#Adds the other letters for the word Sorry and just is like cool looks good I guess#Anytime anyone asks about soulmates he just raises his finger and everyone assumes he doesn't have one and is rude#He's just being honest!! He is showing his soul mark!!#Steve is like “excuse me” goes to the bathroom used only for meltdowns and stares into the mirror#It's his third night!!His hair isn't even styled!! His scrubs have a stain on the top!! And THIS is what he looks like meeting his soulmate#Steve knows Robin is somewhere cackling at this he just knows it#Soulmate AU#Steddie#Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington#Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington#Jade is Talking#Also idk if we know their middle names but this is fanfiction I control the characters now
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uno reverse
#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#sorry to postin so much feel like im breaking some sorta unspoken rule but i gotta or i will forget to post it at all#mw#my art#recruits in the bathroom sobbin in confusion at soaps 180 in the mornin after drills. brutal. judgmental. no remorse.#sneerin dead eyed stare he oversees em with so unforgivin and cold to minor missteps#ghost is the nice one who seems to be glowing. bc the first time he exp'd soap on a bad day he nearly had a mental break down#thinkin he did somethin to piss him off but nope soap just borrowed the stick up ghost's ass for the day#eye black smears on fingies as a treat to myself#feel like im forgettin somethin wonder what it is hmm maybe its my lack of sleep 24hrs awake thas prolly it ye
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<3 thinkin’ bout kisses that tingle my spine
#<3#also thinkin bout chocolate and getting railed but oop#messy bathroom messy life#my typical mirror selfie so sorry
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we're cooked
#sorry if someone already pointed this out like i said i'm at the store right now. in the bathroom fksjfks#*#phan#dan and phil
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Can’t stop thinking about trying for a baby with Bakugou.
You[7.05PM]: I’m ovulating.
Bakugou raises a brow from across the room after reading the text you’d just sent him. A bottle of beer perched in his other hand as Sero and Kirishima continue their conversation either side of him.
Since having the discussion about trying for a baby, neither of you had managed to find any spare time together to try. Your conflicting work schedules paired with social engagements had meant that time together was few and far between, seeing more of him on the news than in real life as of late.
“What?” Bakugou mouthed to you as you tilted your head towards the bathroom, narrowing his eyes in confusion.
You tried to take a sip of your drink, motioning towards Mina’s bathroom as your friends continued to chatter around the living room.
Deciding to send another text to your perplexed boyfriend as you made a scene emptying your glass, downing the liquid as you motioned that you were going to grab another drink before leaving the room.
You[7.10PM]: Bathroom now.
There was a slight rap against the door as you opened it, tugging your boyfriend into the pink room in haste. Your hands poised on his arms as he kept you pinned between his body and the counter inside the small downstairs toilet.
“What the fuck are you doin’, woman?” Bakugou couldn’t hide the amused smirk on his face as he motioned towards the door, “You actin’ like a randy teenager or something?”
“We can’t waste time,” You practically whined, moving to paw at his jeans as you noticed in amusement that he was already half hard, “Now’s the best time to try—”
“How’d you know?” Bakugou didn’t stop you from unbuckling his belt, letting the leather hang in the loops as you moved to attack the zipper.
“I downloaded this app to help track my cycle.” You replied as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“There’s an app for that?” He snorted.
“Yeah,” You grinned, “It tells me the best time to try and conceive.”
“You don’t need that shit,” Bakugou scoffed, moving his large palms against your hips to turn you to face the mirror. Crimson eyes staring back at you in your reflection as he gave you a smug grin, “You really think I need help fuckin’ a baby into ya?”
#you know it would take ONE TIME and he’d be done#ONE#thinking about fucking bakugou in bathrooms sorry not sorry#soft bakugou#Bakugou x reader
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Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.
"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."
translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"
It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!
very this
#red said#it's just. I'm obsessed.#everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong#this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT#because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION#i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this?#why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered#but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances#then she left and nothing else occurred'#if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING#i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened#because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all.#a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman#b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening#c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that?#you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much#it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'
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something about their feet intimacy here and Oscar not personally being a touch love language guy but !! smiles and happiness when ppl want to touch him - and these tiny movements by Lando into his space (and how for the sprint podium video you can see them looking down and Lando consciously doing it bc ohhhh did Lando need to have his big strong boy, who is smiling and making sure everyone knows he's not sulking or blaming Lando bc he knows everyone's dogpiling on either one of them over team orders and between his smiles and Lando's touches can they transmit how much they are okay w each other ???)
a-amvryllis
and then this moment bracketing Oscar in and their faces sweetly so close and all for no reason they could’ve done this standing opposite each other
and Lando cuddling into Oscar to stay warm and Oscar then posting it proudly
and somehow this tying into Oscar always wanting Lando to take what he needs bc Oscar is personally so content with simply expressing his care and attention by Looking and Watching and Attending but !! that doesn't mean it's what he's expecting from anyone else and that as we fully well know the reason why Oscar Attends to certain people is that he wants to be there and offer whatever they need (touch, warmth, reassurance, protection, help with finding words or difficult words, little we're okay, yeah?' moments)
bc if the person he cares about wants that from him and takes comfort in getting it from him, then isn't the happiness it brings Oscar it's own touch love language as well <3
#landoscar#inchidentallyanessay#I'm so sorry if my posts are extra jumbled lately just no o o o time to myself when it's not on mobile hiding in bathrooms
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not my usual kind of posting but i genuinely hate how unpleasant having chronic gastrointestinal issues makes your life. even if it was more socially acceptable i would still be in excruciating pain every single day of my life just for doing something that's necessary to live. the fact that it also makes other people think you're disgusting and embarrassing just compounds the misery.
#🐉#sorry i know youre supposed to try to look at these things constructively#but it fucking sucks!#and its not even technically classed as a disability. youre just Guy Who Always Needs The Bathroom.#like. i feel like im going to puke every day of my life but its haha funny because toilet humour.
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The greatest proof of Macdennis canon isn't all the psychosexual shit the two of them have going on, but the fact that Dee and Mac's relationship is best characterised as "siblings-in-law"
#iasip#macdee#macdennis#adjacent that is...#i love the dynamics of the three of them to death#makes my brain buzz#bathroom problem line is from bloopers btw sorry#but i love it#OC
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weird & random saw headcanon i have:
danica scott from saw 3 & mallick scott from saw 5 are siblings
my reasoning:
obviously they both have the last name scott which is where this whole hc came from but let me go into detail on the other thing
saw is known for it’s awkward dialogue & line delivery & one example of this that i’ve always loved was mallick’s “It’s Jigsaw. I knew this was gonna happen to me!” i’ve always thought this line was really funny, mallick is so overcome with guilt that he frequently worries that he’s going to be jigsawed.
mallick is the only character in the entire saw franchise who ever makes reference to expecting to be picked for a trap, so my explanation for this weird reaction is his sister being a previous victim.
if danica was mallick’s sister, he would be intimately familiar with jigsaw & everything to do with his victims. you couldn’t go through a tragedy like losing a loved one to a jigsaw trap & then be unaware of why, it adds context to his outburst if he were to experience something like that.
when he burned the building down & didn’t face justice, his guilt told him that he was going to meet the same fate danica did, instead of like.. something normal like getting arrested
#this is so dramatic i’m sorry i over analyze every line from these movies#obviously not all characters with the same last names have to be related i just like to give characters i like worse backstories#mallick scott#danica scott#saw 3#saw 5#saw#saw franchise#sawposting#sawtism#my sawtism goes further than the bathroom boys
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yes buddie marriage yes buddie endgame but you know which fucking fanon hd I will never move on from? buddie fucking in 2x01 right after their pissing match and being unable to keep their hands off each other bc they want each other so badly and it’s messy and nasty and disgusting and so fast GOD
#just eddie being so fucking done with buck that he pushes him against a wall and what’s your problem man#you’re my problem#yeah? I’m about to make it your problem#and he basically grabs him by the throat and kisses him so hard and bucks so hard already but he’s barely just registering it#and god they’re both so sweaty and salty#and they literally fight to top the other and oh my god#buck would be so fucking eager he’d suck Eddie off until he’s dry#and he’d eat it all up then spit it back in his mouth#and then Eddie would win the top fight and fuck buck nasty in a bathroom stall yes at the firehouse idgaf and buck is so loud Eddie has to#bite down on his back and keep his hand over his mouth#anywayyyyyy sorry guys lmao#911#911 fox#911 abc#911 tv show#evan buckley#evan buck buckley#buddie#eddie diaz#buck x eddie
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RE2 lethan AU where leon finds ethan hiding under a desk in the racoon police station
#ethan winters#leon kennedy#resident evil#rebhfun#resident evil fanart#resident evil 2#lethan#i cant decide if loen finds him hiding in a bathroom stall#or under a desk#they r both funny#he baricades himself under the desk with computers lol#leons finds him on accident and shoots him in the wrist on reflex#sorry ethan has to get at least a minimum of 2 hand injuries a game#this also applies to made up AUs#camera shy photographer is also funny#'haha say cheese leoonn'#'haha ok ur turn'#and ethan shatters his camera on the floor#'oops haha looks like we cant take anymore photos'
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what about Daniel and Max never being big on pet names, especially Daniel only using pet names in a joke-y way. But then he starts noticing that Max does use pet names, just not with him? He will call the cats sweet things in both english and dutch, he calls his nephews liefje and he has heard him call his gaming buddies "darling" more than once. Max also talks to himself and to inanimate objects a lot, and one day he hears him say "thanks babe" to the fridge after getting a beer.
And it's not like he's jealous or something, he doesn't care, but it still makes him feel a bit weird. And yeah, maybe he's a little bit jealous, because that's not really fair, is it? But it feels embarrassing to tell that to Max, they're not that kind of cutesy couple, so he stews on it and gets a little bit more annoyed every time it happens.
Max notices that he's acting a bit weird, but he doesn't remember doing anything wrong or any kind of fight, so he assumes it's something Daniel related and not Max-and-Daniel related. He cuddles a little closer at night and does ask once if anything was wrong, but Daniel tells him nothing so he leaves it alone.
And then one night, after Max is done gaming he goes to the couch where Daniel is very clearly angry and is like uuuh did something happen? And Daniel tells him "no, nothing, just my boyfriend liking me less than anything else in his life" because he's hurt and embarrassed and annoyed and he knows he's not being fair, but at the moment he doesn't care. Max is hurt, because how could Daniel even say that? They weren't even fighting that he knew of! Daniel hadn't been ignoring him or slamming doors or calling names, so how could he know he was mad at him? It's all really unfair, so obviously he gets immediately defensive and somehow it degenerates in a fight that doesn't make sense because Max doesn't know why they're fighting and Daniel is embarrassed and increasingly angry at himself.
At some point Max just grabs his keys and phone and leaves to cool off and Daniel feels super bad, knowing it was all his fault and he should have just said something instead of blowing it all out of proportions. When Max comes back Daniel is already in bed but he's awake and Max asks him if he wants him to sleep on the couch and Daniel is horrified because first of all, no, and second of all it's a sign Max thinks he has been doing something wrong and should be sent to the couch even if he doesn't know why. Finally, that's enough and he just blurts out "it's because you never call me darling".
And Max is like ??????? because he wasn't aware Daniel wanted to and also all this for that???? so he sits down and tells Daniel to explain and Daniel explains. He's looking down at his hands and keeps picking at his fingers until Max stops him and he hates how embarrassed he is the whole time, but he explains and it feels extra silly after putting it all out there.
When he's done, Max tells him he was being very silly and he will of course call him anything he wants, he just likes calling him Daniel because Daniel is already a word that has all the love in it and Daniel maybe sort of dies there.
And then they kiss and Max calls him schatje and Daniel for sure must be dead.
Max still doesn't love being called pet names, but uses all the ones he knows for Daniel and Daniel loves it every time until Max moans baby during sex and Daniel comes on the spot. He's still very embarrassed about that one.
#welcome to: things i think about while cleaning the bathroom#it all started because i told my vacuum sorry darling when i bumped into it#anyway the endings keep escaping me these days so this one is also meh but we move#it's just a ramble anyway#my writing#maxiel#i have NOT reread this if there are typos no there aren't
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Art
#alycia debnam carey#from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat from the dining table to the bedroom#from the bathroom sink to the shower from the front porch to the balcony vertically horizontally#quadratic exponential logarithmic while i gasp for—#her in knee high boots just does something to my slutty side sorry
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I have a new uquiz for you, go on a pilgrimage with me. discover who you are.
#don't you want to go on a nice medieval pilgrimage?#don't you want to rest a little? answer some questions? learn something about yourself?#this was originally a pentiment medieval quiz and now it's this#it's pretty good imo though. i had a lot of fun researching it#yes there really is a biblio. ill write it up soon but its parts of the pentiment biblio plus some stuff i found myself#really thank you to everyone who made pentiment. you know how sometimes you find a piece of art at exactly the right time?#well i discovered pentiment just as my interests perfectly intersected with it. (those interests being history historiography and grief)#have fun etc. tag your results#that's always great#quiz#uquiz#pentiment#medieval#mine#sorry for being absent for a bit. holidays kind of suck#sorry abbie i couldnt fit the saw bathroom in thisone. i couldn't think of a way to do it naturally#i listened to SAVED! and SINNER GET READY the entire time i was writing this so yeah there's a ref. sue me
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