#i had a lot of fun with the article tho

[quartergremlin]

I've got all my patreon content for the next two weeks out! if you're interested in that -> support me?

[seiwas]

for writing game, iwaizumi + assistance <3

hope this sparks some inspo and thank you in advancee

hi there!! thanks for sending in a prompt 🫶

contains: friends to lovers (ish), halloween parties, reader is dressed as catwoman, expletives, iwaizumi is thiiiiis 🤏 close to murdering seijoh4 (jk)

iwaizumi + assistance

this is a set-up.

iwaizumi knows he shouldn't have fucking believed anything the boys "promised" him back when they assigned him this costume.

the suit is fucking tight, spandex digging into his groins and all other crevices that definitely should be aired out after after a few hours. he's had to constantly readjust his stance almost every few minutes, the black fabric compressing his thighs and torso, significantly constricting the range of motion his shoulders and arms are typically used to. if anything else, it could double up as a back brace from how rigidly straight it's kept his posture all night.

he'll give it to makki though; he did outdo himself sourcing this year's costumes―this batman set looks pretty damn legit.

except for one tiny problem.

there's no fucking pee hole. it's a zip-up, zip-down one-piece situation. and that normally wouldn't be a problem, except that oikawa "accidentally" knocked over a cocktail straight into his pants, the sickeningly sweet liquid now seeping straight into the fabric and past his boxers―cold and sticky as it touches his skin.

and so, the problem: his pants are wet, it makes him want to fucking pee, and coincidentally, the only vacant bathroom is across the hall, at your apartment.

this is why he believes this is a set up. that, and the fact that you're dressed in an outfit strikingly similar―just with cat ears.

he's been asked five times in this party if you're in matching couple outfits.

it catches him off guard, flusters him because of how badly he wants to say yes. but, you're just friends, and he doesn't even think you like him that way (despite mattsun and oikawa practically begging him to confess. makki tells him he thinks you're going to do it first).

so he politely smiles and says no, but you look good, your costume clinging to you in all the right places. thank fucking god he has a cape because he's pretty sure he spent the first 30 minutes in the party hiding his boner.

"hajime, it's fine, i swear," you stand beside him in front of the conveniently locked bathroom in oikawa's apartment. from the other side of the door, he's pretty sure he hears mattsun and his girlfriend mumbling. maybe fucking? who knows. "you can just use the bathroom in my apartment."

he glances at you before closing his eyes, contemplating, before finally agreeing to you.

"okay."

if he's being honest with himself, friends is definitely an incomplete label to what you are. as oikawa's neighbor, you are conveniently around all the time; and oikawa being oikawa, the ever-social butterfly, he's somehow managed to carve a space for you in the friend group.

(never mind the fact that oikawa's sniffed him out from the moment he first introduced you.)

you were a crush, then a friend, and now you're someone he picks up from work and drives back home three times a week, because he "has to train oikawa." you don't question it, even when you both know he stays over for dinner way past the gym's open hours.

"you know where it is," you open your apartment and urge him in.

"sorry again," he turns to face you.

"yeah, yeah, just pee!" you laugh, shoving him towards the bathroom door.

getting out of the suit is manageable, and he's able to wipe off a bit of the cocktail that's leaked to the suit and his boxers just to make sure it isn't gross and sticky when he gets home later. peeing is a big relief once he gets it over with, but it's when he has to suit up again that things become difficult.

stretching out the spandex one body part at a time is a workout in itself―the hardest task being when he has to pull it over his shoulders, adjusting it to fit properly over his arms and chest.

but then the zipper breaks.

and he truly thinks makki has fucked him over.

iwaizumi contemplates what to do next for a good, good while. he tries calling oikawa, only to no success every time; no way in hell is he calling mattsun in the middle of having sex. and calling makki isn't even an option; he'd never hear the end of it.

then you knock on the door, your voice soft and concerned as you ask, "hajime? you good in there?" you hit it spot on, too, "do you need help with your suit?"

iwaizumi presses his palms to his eyes. he's a rational man, straightforward and logical in thinking. there is literally no other option for him right now but to ask help from you. again.

fuck.

.

it's 30 minutes later when oikawa barges in your door, and the sight that greets him is iwaizumi in nothing but a hoodie (the hoodie you borrowed some time ago) and his boxers, with his hands on your waist as you hover your hairdryer over the crotch of his batman costume―cat headpiece off and all.

"you finally got together?!"

[john-get-the-salt]

Tight Leash w/ Roy Kent

Imagine: Roy has managed to keep his feelings for you to himself….until one night he’s unable to hold onto them any longer.

Contains: fem/reader, cursing, Roy losing his absolute shit in the best way, sexual innuendos

Warnings: none

“I can’t believe I ever let you convince me to wear this.”

“Babes you look phenomenal,” Keeley preened.

You might not have had the option to skip the fundraiser event you were about to enter, but you did have the option to wear something more….lowkey. You did tend to keep it lowkey, as one of the clubs media specialists. Keeley handed all of the flashy bits, the paparazzi and signings and public appearances. You tended to a lot of the background stuff; the sports articles and communications within the league, and the clubs various websites and platforms. Ever since you joined the team nearly a year go now you liked to work in the background, liked being unnoticeable.

Unfortunately you’d become best friends with Keeley Jones-the most noticeable person on the planet. And when you learned you had to attend some annual fundraising gala Rebecca was putting on, Keeley made it her life mission to convince you to wear something daring. And in a moment of weakness you’d agreed.

But now that you were present at the gala and it was almost your turn to walk to press carpet, you were having some serious regrets.

“Seriously Keeley, I feel ridiculous. One of the guys is going to see me and bust out laughing. This is something Rebecca would wear and pull off, not me.” Not to mention the carpet ahead was daunting. Cameras flashing constantly, held by shouting, viperous paparazzi.

“Hey,” Keeley pulled you to the side, forcing you to look at her instead of ahead at the walk into the hall. “No matter what mean things your brain are telling you right now, you look phenomenal. And when the guys see you, when Kent sees you-they’re gonna be lost for words.”

You flushed, because of course your best friend couldn’t resist mentioning the man you had a huge thing for. She never let it go after you let it slip one night. The two of you were just friends, no matter how much Keeley insisted that Roy was in love with you. You two had hit it off shortly after you started, appreciating each other’s dry sense of humor and love of cursing. Besides Keeley he was your best friend. But that was it-no matter how much you daydreamed of more.

"You've got this babe, i promise. Don’t forget-you are a badass bitch." Keeley gave you a final smile and quick kiss on the cheek before she was being called up. She left your side and stepped out onto the carpet. The photographers went wide, bursts of light exploding. You were officially next.

You took a deep breath, in and out. You just wanted to be inside the gala with your people, having fun with the club and Rebecca and Keeley. Unfortunately, this carpet stood in between you and them.

Just when you thought you had taken enough deep breaths and were finally ready, you heard a sharp inhale behind you. You risked a glance over your shoulder, finding Roy standing a few feet behind you. And you had to admit, he looked good. The all black attire did not surprise you but it did suit him. He was taking you in, slowly, from head to toe. Your outfit was all white, comprised of crisp high waisted pants and a corseted long sleeve top. (see visual below, I love a good visual, tho feel free to alter it in your brain to best suit you)

When his eyes finally rose to your chest he swore.

"Fucking hell."

"What was that, Roy?"

His eyes rose again, this time to meet yours.

Maybe it was Keely's words ringing around your head, or the way Roy couldn't keep his eyes off you, or the shot of whiskey you'd taken on the drive in. But regardless, you suddenly felt a smudge more confident. So with a final mental fuck it, you decided to embrace it. You relaxed your shoulders, straightened your spine, and as they called your name you smiled at Roy and gave a quick wink before you spun on your heel and took your first step out onto the carpet.

The cameras lit up, photographers crying for a spin, a turn, an angle, any bit of attention. You stopped a few times, allowing them pictures of you in different poses. The lights and the noises soon became too much however, so you kept it short before you strutted down the rest of the carpet and made it inside the gala building where Keely was stood waiting.

"Oh my god, you looked like a right model walking into a show," she gushed. "Those pictures of you are going to be jaw-dropping babe. And poor Roy's dragging his jaw against the floor."

You flushed as you let the excitable girl link arms with you and drag you towards the teams designated table. "I don't know what came over me, Ke. I just decided to go with it and channel my inner Rebecca. And I fucking winked at Roy. Who am I?“

"If he doesn't pull you away to ravish you by the end of the night I will."

You giggled with your friend, happily accepting the drink she got you.

"Ladies."

To your delight Coach Lasso approached, eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You both look down-right beautiful."

"Oh thank you Ted, you're looking quite handsome this evening."

"Well that's mighty kind of you. Now between the three of us, I was really just coming to let you know that Roy just stormed into the building like a starved man on a mission, demanding to know if I'd seen which way you went. The poor man looked so red in the face I was worried he was going to keel over."

You flushed, eyes suddenly finding the floor quite interesting.

"Now you two wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

"He's realizing that he's in love with her," Keely couldn't help but gush.

Eyes widening, you smacked her arm.

"Ow!"

"Keely! He is not!"

"Ah," Lasso hummed, chuckling a bit. "It's about damn time. The boys and I are getting tired of the silent pining."

"We are not- there is no silent pining." You argued, looking between your two friends.

“You two have been inseparable since you met. You spend more time with him then anyone else in the club, babes.”

“Kee, we’re just friends.”

"I don’t think he thinks that," Lasso gestured with his head and you followed his gaze, finding Roy stood across the room, staring straight at you.

Your heart skipped a beat as his intense eyes met yours.

"I need some water," you stated, the air suddenly too heavy to breath.

"I can-"

"It's ok, Kee," you interrupted, kissing her cheek. "I'll be back."

She nor Lasso argued, watching as you hurried away from the table and towards the bar. Roy was after you the next minute, speeding across the floor and past the table towards you.

"Those two...." Lasso trailed off as he shook his head.

"Idiots."

"Lovesick idiots."

-

You weren't really thinking straight when you rushed away from your friends. All you could think was that the weight of Roy's gaze was heavy, stifling, and you felt your chest constrict.

You stepped up to the bar and asked for an ice water, receiving it moments later. You thanked the bartender and glided over to a neglected corner of the room, where only a few stragglers buzzed around. It was quieter over here, and you could feel the ache in your chest ease slightly.

"Hey," a soft voice invaded your space.

You froze, turning.

Roy was stood there, looking down at you again with that intense dark gaze.

"Hi," you said softly, unable to stop your eyes from flickering down to his lips before quickly back up.

"You look....fucking beautiful."

A heat began in your cheeks, reaching down your neck and no doubt flushing your collar and chest as well.

"That word doesn't seem quite enough. Fucking....breathtaking." And the way he said it sounded like he was, in fact, breathless. His chest heaved, as he stood perfectly still in front of you.

The heat was beginning to prick at your stomach, and if Roy wasn't very careful it was going to continue to travel downward.

"Thank you. Everyone here looks pretty amazing."

"Sweetheart, I haven't so much as glanced at anyone else in here. How can I, when you look so...." he trailed off, lips parting silently.

"What?"

“I’ve been doing my best to keep what I was feeling on a tight leash. I never wanted to ruin…this. Our friendship. I don’t know what I’d do with it, but…”

You furrowed your eyebrows. He wasn’t making any sense. “What are you saying Roy?”

"Can I kiss you?"

Ok, the heat had officially traveled to your entire body. You felt like you were on fire, and all Roy was doing was looking at you. Never had you considered how much a simple question like that could affect you, but as you watched him wait in heavy anticipation, wanting to touch you but unwilling until you gave him permission, you became weak in the knees.

"Yes-" the word was barely out of your mouth before he was kissing you, trapping the word in between you. His hands cradled your face so delicately, like you were made of glass. You rested your hands on his chest, appreciating the muscle you felt under the suit.

His lips were so soft, and tasted faintly of the cherry chapstick you'd given him just the other day. He smelled of spicy cologne and his scruff tickled your face.

He pulled away, just enough to meet your eyes.

"I may be the most stubborn, selfish, miserable prick on this planet, but you make me feel like I'm so much more. And this may be the most selfish thing I ever do, but I don't fucking care anymore. I'm in love with you."

Your lips parted, eye searching his for any signs of deception. You couldn't find any.

"Im in love with you too, my miserable prick."

He choked on a laugh, his eyes glassy as he rested his forehead against yours. "God, I love you so fucking much."

"I love you even fucking more."

[p0rk-guts]

Niffty's finally here!!!! Was gonna post her earlier but I had brain worms. Alr comparison + breakdown time ⬇️

Niffty's another case where I feel like the pilot design was better; mainly with the colors.

I'll admit that my internal biases are definitely in play with these redesigns and opinions, but honestly her more warm hues probably would've helped separate her a little more from melting into the main cast & background red-pink scheme. Other than that tho I'm neither here nor there on either design

Once again, her design is one that shares very little about her as a character. The apron helped to convey she acts as a maid, but her supposed bug themes and the face that she died in the 1950's doesn't really come through at all. She's just. Some little girl!

Here's my Niffty in her unaltered state! Her hair isn't actually legs, it just naturally forms in these odd curl shapes. Usually it's tied back. She naturally has 4 arms (cuz she's roach inspired!) but she hides them bc she's very unhappy with her insectoid features. It's very uncomfortable. She's a fat woman but she's very self conscious about her weight and figure so she always cinches her waist with her apron. Also very uncomfortable.

Obviously has more bug features now. I'd say she's inspired by the Yamato cockroach, which I looked into, but. To be real wit u a lot of roaches look pretty samey. She's got the hair that I wanted to resemble cartoony bug legs a bit, hatched pupils, segmented limbs, the apron tie representing cockroach wings, and the hair tie representing antenna. She has no wings or antenna of her own tho.

Inspired her look off 1950's housewife attire, particularly this one pic I think I snagged off an article

Emulated the collar she has on, as well as added heels to her design bc apparently that's all the gals were wearing. Niffty's very traditional. She's also got cleaning gloves and a front pocket in her pocket for all her cleaning supplies! And I added her lipstick back in there bc it's saurr cute.

Edit: girl I forgot to mention her colors.AAAAAUGH. erm okay. SO. she's green and red now bc. Wrath and envy colors in my rewrite. Prominent sins in her I'm sure. Also just warmer in general bc... Well I liked the look. Also having her be mainly green adds some color diversity to the lineup + helps her stand out.

That's it fr! Here's the rest of the conceptualization page... As a gift

She was very fun to design hehe. Alright that's awl.... Hope u liked her....... Okay bye✌🏾🧍🏾‍♀️

[bucketslutz]

Don't Be Late (Professer Logan Howlett/Fem Student Mutant Reader)

Chapter Summary: Logan's behavior continues to intrigue you as you begin to struggle to hide your feelings towards him.

A/N: I've never churned out a chapter so fast before. i'm having a lot of fun writing this!

Warnings: Smut, 18+, minors DNI!!, unprotected p in v, dirty talking, logan talks you through it lowk, grinding, swearing, no use of Y/N, pet names for reader tho🤭

Word Count: 4,040

Chapter 2

The door to the classroom creaks open loudly causing you to turn your head abruptly from your notebook, finding Logan staring at you incredulously. Adamant to not repeat the same mistake as you did Monday, you arrived at class 15 minutes early this morning. You smile awkwardly and look back to your notes, trying not to pay him any mind, despite that familiar swirl deep in your stomach telling you to jump him right then and there.

“Early bird today huh, bub?” Logan chides, his sudden display of humor surprising you. You chuckle, unsure of how to respond.

“Yeah, getting used to that commute, Monday I was too late, today I’m too early, what can ‘ya do?” you reply, laughing lightly, not to Logan’s amusement, however, who glares at you like a horn protruded from your skull as he settles himself at the head of the classroom. You clear your throat and go back to your notes. So, he’s funny, but he doesn’t like small talk, got it. You think to yourself, becoming even more confused by his demeanor. You couldn’t find anything about him online last night, not a social media post, no articles, no information about his credentials besides a flimsy description on the school’s website that describes him as having a “masters degree in the history of american wars,” whatever that means. It doesn’t say where his degree is from either. Everything about this man is clouded in obscurity.

You jump slightly when Logan slams a piece of paper in front of you. Glancing upwards, attempting to meet his gaze, you’re confused to see he’s already turned away from you and walking to the front of the room. You look down at the paper to see it’s the attendance sheet, your name already has a check mark next to it. Before you can even mutter a thanks, people have already started to file into class and you swallow any more potential verbiage that may escape your mouth, not wanting anyone to perceive you.

…

“Professor Howlett, I’m not quite sure I understand,” a brunette in the front row pouts, “Could I see you after class?” she asks suggestively, flicking her hair and resting her pencil between her lips. Her attempt to subtly gain Logan’s attention almost makes you laugh.

“It’s Logan. And no,” he snaps, not breaking his focus from the dates he’s writing on the board. The girl scoffs in surprise and sits back in her chair in defeat, looking at her friends on her right and left like she couldn’t believe he would rebuff her like that. It’s not lost on you now that Logan is very attractive, at least, you’re not the only person who finds him attractive; maybe not the only person who has had a lewd wet dream about him either. Why that girl would attempt to be so bold is beyond you, seeing as Logan is so goddamn terrifying. Just one look from him makes you want to crawl into a shell and never come out again.

“Friday’s essay—I want you to write about independence,” Logan asserts, leaning against the whiteboard and nonchalantly crossing his arms. The room is quiet, some people even looking around for clarification, yourself included. The brunette in the front row raises her hand causing Logan to roll his eyes and nod in her direction, affirming her request.

“I’m sorry, like, do you mean what independence means? Or how it played a part in the revolutionary war? Or, like, what it means to maybe fight for it in the modern era?” she asks carefully, not wanting him to snap at her again. Logan considers her for a moment.

“Yeah, sure,” he concedes with a shrug of his shoulders. There’s still an air of confusion hanging in the room. You’re struggling to understand how this man made it past a vetting process to secure his position in the first place. Logan looks at his watch, sighing in relief. “That’s all I’ve got. See ‘ya Monday.”

Logan wastes no time in collecting his coat and briefcase and rushing out of the classroom. Everyone pauses, sharing glances of bewilderment. You avoid eye contact with others, opting to just quietly collect your things and depart with the one or two stragglers who’ve made the same choice you did.

…

It’s painfully slow at the store. You had hoped there was inventory that needed to be stocked, or a shipment, or cleaning, a robbery even. But there’s no action here. The only customers being two teenagers who bought candy and soda after school, an old man and a case of beer, and an old lady with a pack of smokes. That’s it. That’s all you’ve seen for the past 5 hours. The free time at least allows you to work on Logan’s essay for Friday. The vague topic gave you quite a bit of room to work, it’s a good thing you have a lot to say or else you would’ve had a much harder time working on this. The store’s door opens with a jingle, the bells hanging by the hinge shaking, the sound draws your attention.

You’re surprised to see Logan entering, broad shoulders tucked into a brown leather jacket. He scans the store and eventually makes eye contact with you. Your breath hitches when you notice the chest hair peaking out from beneath his wife beater, the tank top revealing slightly more of his chiseled physique than you’re used to seeing. You involuntarily clench at the thought of what he might look like without that tank top on…No. You shake the thought from your head, trying to keep your composure despite your growing arousal towards your professor; an arousal that only started from that damned wet dream.

Boots click against the linoleum tile towards the register you’re situated behind. Logan slams a case of Budweiser onto the counter as he rifles through his wallet for cash. You quietly ring him up.

“Get me two Arturos,” he instructs, rather impolitely. You look at him, he doesn’t even attempt to make eye contact. You decide to make a little joke, seeing as he was feeling so humorous this morning.

“What’s the magic word?” you coo, teasingly, through a friendly smile. Logan finally looks up at you through slightly raised brows.

“Go fuck yourself.” Logan was not in a teasing mood.

You purse your lips in embarrassment and defeat as you retrieve two Arturo cigars from behind you. With a sigh, you ring him up and tell him his total. He pays in cash. As you’re loading the bills into the register, Logan hesitates before leaving.

“What’re you doing working this far out of town? Aren’t there better stores to work at closer to campus?” he questions. You try to hide your surprise at his inquiry before answering.

“Oh, uh, I don’t live too far from here. It’s an easier commute when I’m not taking classes,” you answered, trying to be as matter of fact as you can possibly be. Logan chuckles.

“No offense, but how can you afford a place over here? Who the hell died and left you their place?” he asks, resting a hand on his hip. You swallow hard, not wanting to draw too much attention to the peculiarity of your living arrangement. Houses over here are expensive, there’s only farmland on acreage that can be worth millions. But sometimes a plot of land can be cheaper than a whole house, and a whole house is something that you can manage to manifest with your powers by consuming around 25,000 calories a day. You offer Logan the same answer you’ve prepared for anyone else who might question you this way.

“I used to rent here until my landlord passed away and left me the property. I’m just lucky, I guess,” you explained with a shrug of your shoulders, trying to hide your nerves. You tug at the hem of your polo, hoping that’s the last of his line of questioning. Logan just offers a simple nod of understanding, before turning around and heading towards the door.

“What about you?” you blurt out, shocking yourself with your own abruptness and sudden want to continue the conversation. Logan turns on his heel and stares at you in confusion.

“Whaddya mean?” he asks, narrowing his hazel eyes.

“I mean, it’s just such a hike from campus, I was just—I mean it’s a fair question. You asked me, I ask you, you know?” you explained clumsily, hoping he at least understood a quarter of what you were trying to say. He looks down at the floor and chuckles with a shake of his head.

“I do live around here, if that’s what you’re asking.” He turns on his heel and starts towards the door. “See ‘ya Friday.”

Your heart flutters in your chest, and you try not to watch his ass, framed by those tight, worn jeans, as he exits the store. Unsure if the feeling in your chest is caused by anxiety, or how you secretly want to bang your professor, you clear your throat in an attempt to bring your mind back down to planet earth.

Despite your own constant correction and policing of your mind, you can’t help but drift away; reminiscing in the way Dream Logan devoured your pussy like no one else ever has. The way he roughly grabbed and pawed at you, pleasuring you in a desperate, animalistic way. Why your subconscious brewed up this intoxicating cocktail, is beyond you. You’ve never been with someone who’s fucked you the way Logan did in your dream, nor have you ever watched any porn that portrays a man acting that way towards someone. No matter what you tell yourself, it felt so inexplicably real. You’re starting to believe that the way Logan acted in your subconscious was strangely true to how he really does act in real life. But no matter, you have an essay to write, for a class you cannot figure out whether or not it's happening on Friday due to Logan’s own vagueness and potential misspeaking.

By the time you finally get home from work, you have maybe a page and a half written of your essay. In an attempt to be as prepared as possible, you decide to finish your work tonight so you can proofread and edit throughout the day tomorrow. But you’re struggling to keep your eyes open at your desk. It’s 1:30 in the morning, and you have a class at 9 am, but you don’t want to pull an all-nighter tomorrow just to work on this stupid essay. It’s getting increasingly more and more difficult to focus. Your bed, just a few feet behind you, beckons to you. It’s so, so tempting. Maybe resting my eyes for just a few minutes wouldn’t hurt, you think to yourself, wanting to give in to your exhaustion so desperately. You lay your head back against your chair and close your eyes. Oh, this feels so good.

So, so good.

Your eyes, half slit, peek open to see a broad chest; you're barely awake as an arm hooks under your legs and behind your back and cradles you before lifting you up against the strong, firm chest. You hum gently, turning into the man’s touch and getting comfortable. You feel yourself being lowered down onto your bed and tucked in under your comforter gently before the bed dips behind you as you’re joined in comfort by the man that tucked you in so tenderly. His arms wrap around you and he pulls your back flush against his chest, meeting the curve of his pelvis with the protrusion of your ass. He’s so warm and firm against your back, cocooning you in an embrace so gentle that it almost makes you want to wake up and fuck him.

You sigh in contentment, circling your ass ever so gently against his crotch, hoping to feel a firm indication of arousal through the boxers of the man behind you. A rough groan emanates from behind you as the pair of arms draped around your waist tighten slightly. His breath is hot against your neck, his scratchy beard tickling you.

His hands move up your stomach and to your chest where he palms your breasts languidly. The grip on your tits causes you to arch your back into his crotch, finally feeling the stiff outline of his cock against your ass. You smile and hum as he trails kisses up and down your neck, biting the flesh there gently.

“Not so tired now, huh, baby?” Logan’s voice rasps from behind you, causing you to gasp quietly. He’s here.

“You’re hard to resist,” you purr, an inexplicable truth bleeding through your words. You turn your torso, facing him, “I missed you.”

Your fingers raise to run over the patch of stubble on his chin that’s nestled between his mutton chops. His eyes look hungry, desperate. His hands, still fixed on your breasts, now lazily stroke them through your shirt.

“Yeah?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, his mouth turned upward into a cocky grin. You nod in response. He places a gentle kiss to your lips, chastely.

“You know, I missed you too,” he whispers against your lips. He kisses you again.

“Yeah?” you ask flirtatiously, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip as he continues to kiss you repeatedly, gingerly making contact each time.

“Why don’t you show me how badly you missed me big guy?” you challenge against Logan's lips, your voice dripping in a seductive tone. He smiles against your lips before shoving you roughly onto your back, situating himself between your legs. One hand moves to your waist, the other pressed against the wall above your head to support his weight.

“I’ll do just that, princess,” his gravelly voice beckons to you from above, his breath fanning your face. A flirtatious smile spreads across your face, causing Logan to waste no time in capturing your lips with his. Unlike last time when you were pinned on his couch, this kiss is sensual and tender. His tongue dances with yours carefully, creating a specific pace with the move of his lips. You follow suit, matching his rhythm, allowing your hands to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. His hips grind down into yours, the two of you moaning into the kiss at the sudden friction. Logan’s hand moves down your waist and under your shirt, traveling up to your bare breast. His thumb circles your nipple softly as his hands knead your tender flesh. You arch your back into his touch, humming in contentment against the kiss.

You could be here for hours, Logan palming at your breasts, his stiff cock grinding against your pussy, the rhythmic swipe of his tongue between each expert kiss to your lips. You’re putty under him. Needing to feel more of him, you snake your hands down his back, and slip them under the hem of his wife beater. You hike the hem up his torso, incapable of moving it much further. Logan breaks the kiss and sits up before he pulls the tank the rest of the way off his body and over his head, revealing his bare torso to you. He’s unbelievably toned, chiseled like he was made by the gods. The veins in his chest and arms bulge with each breath he takes. You bite your bottom lip as you take him in, your fingers creeping up his abs, eventually sliding up his chest to stroke it tenderly. You prop yourself up on your elbows, looking at Logan seductively.

“Come here, baby,” Logan growls, snaking an arm around your waist before hoisting you up onto him. Your legs wrap around his waist as he spins the two of you around so his back is against the headboard and you’re straddling him. You can feel the full length of him at this angle as he’s aligned deliciously with your pussy, applying the most intoxicating pressure to your clit. Logan stares at you hungrily, pressing your chest into his, his hands firmly gripping your waist. You both moan as he grinds up into your pussy with his hand occasionally dipping down to squeeze your tight ass. You mewl at the feel of his hand there.

“Need more of you, princess,” he growls, taking no more than a second to grip the hem of your shirt and rip it up off of your head, you gasp with no time to react when he reaches down to the waistband of your shorts and tears them in half with ease. Both your shirt and ruined shorts tossed carelessly onto the floor.

“Logan!” you exclaim, trying your best to hide your amusement from him.

“Much better,” he drawls. He attacks your neck where he aggressively trails kisses and bites up and down the flesh, occasionally sucking and leaving purple marks in his wake. You throw your head back in ecstasy as you grind your naked cunt onto his cock, wetting the fabric of his boxers with your slick. His head dips down to your breasts, sucking purple bruises into your skin and leaving as many marks as he can before bringing a sensitive bud between his lips and sucking there as well. You moan throatily, gripping the back of his head and forcing his head further onto your breasts as he sucks, licks, and bites with animalistic need. You circle your free nipple with your fingers as he continues his onslaught, alternating with him when he switches attention between each breast. The feel of Logan’s clothed, firm cock against your clit as you grind against him is not enough. You need more of him.

“Logan,” you whine. “I need you. Inside me.” Your hand travels down to the waistband of his boxers, slipping them down as far as you can in desperation.

Logan responds by lifting you slightly off of him, allowing you to pull his boxers further down. You watch as his cock reveals itself, pressed firmly against his stomach. Your breath hitches at the sight. The girth shocks you, curious how it’d feel splitting you into two. You’re sure his length would take up entirety of your pussy once inside, most definitely pressing into your cervix no matter the position. A gasp leaves your lips as your hand wraps around his length, surprised at the difficulty in which your fingers have encasing the entirety of him. Logan hisses against your breast at the sudden touch, the grip on your waist growing tighter. He leaves one last lick on your breast before capturing your mouth in a feverish kiss. He attacks your mouth aggressively, his occasional bites almost making your lips bleed, his tongue thrusting into your mouth without a care. The onslaught of your mouth is so intoxicating, you almost don’t notice him lifting you up to position himself at your entrance. The tip of his cock prods your pussy and you whine into the kiss, driving your hips down as much as you can.

“We’re gonna take it nice and slow, baby,” Logan rasps against your lips encouragingly. Logan grips your jaw so you’ll look into his eyes, “You’re gonna take it all for me, won’t you?”

You nod eagerly as you squirm on top of him, so desperate for him to fill you up. He slides himself in about an inch further, causing your moan to turn to a wince at the delicious stretch he applies to your pussy.

“That’s it, princess,” Logan praises with a gravelly drawl that makes you melt. He groans as he spears into you a few more inches, your moans fanning his face.

“Good girl,” Logan encourages, making you fawn, “Just take a bit more for me, princess.”

Tears prick the corners of your eyes as he splits you open. He's bottomed out inside of you and already grazing your cervix. Your pussy’s stretched to its maximum around his girth. You can tell Logan is holding back, he’s tense beneath you, gripping you with such fervor that you’re sure he’ll leave marks.

“Logan,” you pant, “fuck me.”

He grunts as you raise your hips, allowing him the space to thrust up into you. The force of his thrust makes you groan in a mixture of pain and pleasure.

“That’s a good girl, take it,” he coaxes, thrusting slowly into you, acclimating you to his length. Slowly, the winces become replaced with needy, lewd moans. Giving Logan permission to hammer into you harder and harder with the progression of groans and moans that escape your throat.

His cock is so deep inside of you that it applies the most delicious pressure to your cervix, pinching it each time he bottoms out. The feeling is so full, so stretched, each ridge he passes making you moan in ecstasy.

“So tight…so, so tight for me, baby,” Logan growls, his face so close to yours that his beard scratches your face with each of his thrusts. “M’gonna pound this fuckin’ pussy.”

The feel of his breath against your neck makes you whimper. His mouth latching onto you and biting down possessively making you yelp in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Logan hoists you up off of his pelvis, supporting the entirety of your weight in his arms. To keep your balance, you grip his shoulders tightly gasping when Logan begins to hammer into you with such strength and speed you almost sob.

“Yes,” he drawls, his voice raspy and breathing ragged, “good girl, you take it so well for me.”

Your moans become unrecognizable to you as a pleasure unlike any other you’ve experienced ravages all your senses; Logan’s mouth on your neck, his cock surely bruising your cervix, his finger suddenly drifting down to your clit to rub circles into the sensitive bud. The pitch in your voice rises with each flick of your sensitive nub. If you were with any other person, surely you’d feel self conscious about the way you’re screaming—almost sobbing as you’re being fucked up into. But Logan draws this kind of unabashed pleasure from you that makes you forget where you are in the world and allows you to just focus on how fucking good he feels inside of you. How he can sustain this kind of power, force, and strength as he fucks into you, is beyond you, especially while supporting your weight with only one arm. Your cries of pleasure grow further and further together as the familiar swirl of heat and pleasure rises in your stomach.

“Keep going, Logan, keep going…don’t stop,” you plead as you desperately seek your release.

“You gonna come for me?” Logan grunts into your ear, sending shivers down your spine and making a whimper escape your lips.

“Yes, Logan,” you mewl, now cheek to cheek with him, his beard almost vibrating against you as he sustains the speed of his thrusts.

“You take it so well, princess, can’t wait to feel you come around this cock,” he rasps into your ear, taking a lobe between his teeth and nibbling gently.

Your pleasure swirls inside of you, building and building into white hot pressure against your clit, causing your breaths to quicken and thighs to clench.

“Logan, I’m—“ you warn.

“Look into my eyes when I make you come, babygirl,” Logan commands, pulling your head back to look at you.

“M-my eyes?” you question, a wave of realization washing over your face of what he might see if that happens, “No…I can’t.”

A gasp jerks you awake. Your chest heaves, your pussy clenching around nothing. A pain grows in your neck and lower back, due to the position you feel asleep in your chair. This one felt so much more real than the last one, a slight lucidity to your thoughts and feelings. How the hell are you supposed to look him in the eye on Friday? Everything just felt so right.

Doing your best to shake your feelings from your head, you check the time on your phone to see it’s only 1:45 am. You huff in annoyance, looking back to the essay you neglected for a wet dream.

...

A/N: i promise this will probably be the last chapter that ends like this, i just desperately need an excuse to write logan smut without compromising the plot too much🤭 hope you enjoyed. to view this work on ao3 click here

[irlnorthshaw]

CARS OF SUPA STRIKAS: a shameless thread 🏎️

did i spend too much time on this? sure... BUT IDK maybe you guys wanna write fanfics and need details. im here to help!! 😁😁😁

id also like to add a disclaimer that these cars are very stylised so obviously its not a direct representation of the real model. so, im basing all of this on what it resembles the most!! (also all of these prices are in usd)

THIS ONE’S A LONG ONE BC I ADD RAMBLING SO… BUCKLE UP!!! (pun very much intended)

SUPA STRIKAS::

shakes

and i thought i already did not like this guy... he already bagged all the baddies and now he has my dream car?? JUST BIG AND GREEDY!!

anyways i think this is his car, assuming bc he's sitting in the driver's seat!! always saw him as someone who hitched rides bc he cant be bothered w a license. bc if so SAME

yes... my dream car is a Ford Mustang. SIGHHHH!!! this one is probably an older model, think 60s or 70s.

the price on this one ranges from $20-70k– unless its a high-performance model like a Shelby GT500 which could reach $150k

el matador

oh boy this one's gonna be long... (not as long as skarra's tho... you'll see later)

a lot of this is also based on his section in the official wiki page of the series (not the fandom wiki dw!!) but nonetheless here's a rundown based on this image, left to right:

here is where im correcting the article. i dont think his car is a Rolls-Royce Ghost but a Phantom instead (more flashy and grandiose). which can range from $500,000 to… one million LOL imagine if i had that kind of money?? id be buying myself a hojicha everyday 😋

another correction, the wiki page says its a Lamborghini but i think that looks like a Porsche 911. which is around $100-$200k for variants like Turbo S or GT3 R

and so apparently, according to the page, bruno is not one but two cars!! bruno and his twin are both Lamborghini Gallardos, a Coupe and a Spyder – both of them? $200k. EACH.

left to right again:

i thought the Mustang hurt me... but this brought tears to my middle class eyes. that red babe is an Aston Martin One-77. brief xander car lesson!! this is a very rare hypercar, only 77 of these bad boys were produced. oh and it costs almost $2 million 🤑

the blue one is a Cadillac Coupe de Ville. which honestly shocked me?? considering El Matador’s character, but it does have a sense of historical glamor to it! price: $20-$50k

AND FINALLY!! a green McLaren 570S. ofc another sports car. not too big on mclarens myself but... depending on year and condition, at most its $400k

feeling extremely broke writing this out SO LETS MOVE ON

klaus

IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!! KLAUS' BUBBLE CAR IS SO CUTE AND ICONIC!!!

at first i thought this might be a BMW Isetta (bc of the classic shape). but by the looks of it, it seems very modern. so from that conclusion, i think this is a Microlino!!

these ones dont roll out in the states but you can def spot these around west europe!! these cuties can cost you around $15-$25k ish

fun fact: you can drive this on an AM license alone (basically for mopeds and such) since it's a low-powered vehicle. so no need a traditional car license, which explains klaus' preference to riding bicycles in "magnetic north"

so, fear not if you dont have a license yet in ur 20s because klaus most likely doesnt either!! (comforting myself here)

cool joe

FIRST OF ALL. I LOVE LOVE HIS CAR EUGH ITS SO NICE???

cool joe drives an american classic!! this is a Plymouth Barracuda, one of the earliest pony cars (like a Ford Mustang) so yes... it does match his old man aura

it compliments his interest in vintage stuff like yeah the guy still listens to vinyl and owns a brick phone. this car might as well be the cherry on top

but i gotta say. the white and purple is a nice combo?? like i... want to be him all of a sudden

price depends. as always. classic models are around $20-$50k but rare HEMI variants can go up to $500k

big bo

YES YES I KNOW ITS NOT A CAR but i had to include it!!!

also when i was researching i went yikes i dont know what tf that is cuz listen... bikes are NOT my area of expertise

like i know my Yamaha Mio's but this?? i have no clue

i wanna say its some kind of Royal Enfield but if any of you know bikes better please feel free to correct me– i only chose it bc it fits his old-school, grounded american vibe

"but xander, harleys are more american!!" yeah ik but its way too flashy for him

coach

icl this one stumped me because i cant see the whole build of it. for all i know its just a mysterious black sedan LMAO like?? it could be anything

WHATEVER IT IS THO. ITS A DAD CAR!! and not just any dad car. we're talking, golf on the weekends type dad.

others/misc

i remember mentioning this picture in another post because of the horrendous parking... but now that we know some of the guys’ cars, we can just assume the rest!!

Blue Subaru WRX STI. actually more on the affordable end compared to the rest, this one is around $40-$50k (if bought new). and i can tell u rn it’s definitely north’s car– how do I know? IT’S A RALLY CAR!! MR "ADRENALINE JUNKIE" FOR SURE RALLIES ON THE WEEKENDS

Purple Porsche 911… guys. this is actually el matdor's car (refer back to his section). but like his Gallardo is already parked beside it?? now im thinking someone definitely borrowed his car COUGHSHAKESCOUGH.

that makes a lot of sense.. no way shakes would own a Porsche bruv... also look at that parking?? yeah that may not be shakes’ car but he definitely drove it to Strikaland

Black Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon. if u could hear me whistle through the screen… DAMN!! A G-WAGON?? idk who owns this car, i can only assume it’s dancing rasta's, it has his energy written all over it

not sure what the silver one is… if u guys know. pls do tell!!

blok and tiger

from what i have searched (yes i watched thru a lot of eps for this post) we dont know what cars blok and tiger own/drive. but if you ask me?

i think blok would drive a Land Rover because he’s built like one!! those cars are absolute tanks just like him

and also just because im a geek for Supras… i will give that to tiger TEEHEE!!!

INVINCIBLE UNITED::

this one is just skarra i fear bc i cant seem to track the others' cars. but maybe in another part if i get a better look at it!!

skarra (divided into three sections)

and i thought i already wanted him bad... this motherfucker!!! also whoever was in charge of assigning their cars, i want to give u a raise personally from my own paycheck

by the hood stripes… this is a Dodge Charger. see– im very new to Dodge bc I was researching the Challenger yesterday but this is for sure a Scat Pack Charger

usually starts at around $50k for the base model itself. BUUUT including the HEMI Orange Appearance, it bumps up the price to $55k

"oh... i actually expected skarra to be more obnoxious with his cars, this one is–" let me stop you right there.

lets not forget his infamous... diss track

lets assume these are all his cars (bc imagine he rented it... #LOSER). also its rlly hard to tell but these are my best guess. left to right:

im actually not sure abt the blue one. maybe a Nissan GTR?? if so, thats about $100-$200k

Orange Dodge Viper. this for SURE looks like it. its $50-$150k. this is probably the most obnoxious in the lot… loud and aggressive, just ego on wheels if anything. very fitting for my wife 👅👅👅

Green Lamborghini Aventador. or... at least it looks very similar. the base model LP 700-4 starts at around $400k but other special variants can go up to $600k

also i cant be arsed to squint my eyes and see the ones in the back sorry not sorry

this entire garage runs on testosterone and midlife crisis!!! and to think his ride before was this...

based on the shape... it looks veeery similar to an 80s style Volkswagen Golf (likely Mk1)

honestly it makes sense for him in rs, its a pretty solid choice at the time but yk things change

and speaking of things changing. id also like to write a different post analysing skarra's cars over the seasons and what it says about his character arc so... KEEP AN EYE ON THAT!!

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

Do you have any Peso headcanons? :3

yep!

Peso is a bit of a stress cleaner! Clutter just tends to make him feel a bit more stressed and overwhelmed.

You might assume its cuz hes from the antarctic, which would be a valid thought process, but in my au penguins tend to have two "family" (for the entire community) homes they alternate between depending on the time of year. So it wasn't like they didn't have homes that got cluttered from kids and whatever.

It was more that well... everyone got into EVERYONES business and family and friends just.. ARRIVING at your house entirely unprompted was totally normal too. He didn't mind it, even if being an older cousin did mean he babysat more often (which he didn't mind he loves them and prefers to be with the kids than older adults).

It was really more just that having lots of people, lots of noises, lots of little kids to worry about getting hold of breakable/valuesble things, and etc. Yeah hes so autistic.

So everything being neat and tidy and perfectly put away just makes him feel a big sense of calm and comfort. This also applies to the medbay, which makes sense cuz he was also trained to be neat and tidy.

(this is how he draws himself)

this guy also freaking LOVES romance movies and stuff. Especially the dramatic ones... he'd used to go watch them to escape the world with his mom when he was little and it was like their little secret bonding activity. But now he's just so freaking invested. He and dashi watch them together <3 (he still talks to his mom about them and they gotta deal with a plot twist every week 🙏 its therapeutic probably)

Speaking of him and dashi they're actually pretty close friends lol. Whether it's just chatting and de-stressing, making fun of inaccurate medical dramas/zombie movies, just sharing whatever family gossip they have, (maybe venting about their relationships with their older brothers everyone in a while), or just windowshopping online.

Dashi also taught peso who to meditate and do yoga. Although him being a penguin that waddles- uh hes had various levels of success and failure, (penguin bones r kinda just in a permanent squat which is why they waddle) but its still fun and ends with them both laughing. Yeh they're very cute friends <3

peso would be so feral over chiikawa, those Japanese comics about like lil creatures that cry over every inconvenience but still have human struggles and are adorable or wtv. I think its be great for his anxiety.

you can't look me in the eyes and tell me he DOESNT STIM by flapping his FLAPPITY FLIPPERS. When stressed his flappity flippers can also become slappity flippers.

Peso also LOVES physical comfort and closeness alot! Its a big love language for him. So even just close physically proximity is very comforting for him, he loves movie nights and social dinners. Another aspect of his love language is making sure to listen to small details that people mention about themselves. He likes to give very thoughtful or homemade gifts. (Like his stickers <3 its one of his favorite hyperfixations) that also extends to food too! Well made food is such a love language.

Peso also, like shellington, puts glow in the dark stars on his ceiling to remind him of the night sky. He loves little trinkets and decor too, he and dashi love looking for different ones online I mightve already mentioned that tho.

They don't always have great internet and have to basically "download" pages, articles, and etc in advance to have stuff accessible when they don't have connection. Its hard to explain but eh.

Thanks for the ask btw <3 if yall wanna know more about the specific relationships he has with the other octonauts feel free to ask

Some more uh, heavy sad headcanons under the tag? Well not headcanons but just him in my au ig

also in my au pesos dad may have or may have no been extremely emotionally and financially abusive which mightve partially contributed to his career path, self doubt, and high expectations, but when peso was out traveling in training his dad may have sort of been eaten by a leopard seal and peso did not even feel anything.

He mightve even only managed to feel a small odd sense of relief and felt bad for his mom. Whoops. Also pesos canonical brother pogo, who hasn't shown up ONCE in the series, was kinda their dads favorite oldest son so yeah there ya go they don't talk much yeesh).

I didn't set out to make this happen but as for the type of person pesos dad is lets just say he was inspired by the experiences of some people ik, so this isn't meant to be some stereotype thing I just saw his anxiety and my heart screamed to do this to him. Sorry yall I shouldn't have been mean to peso and gave him a gaslighting, blackmailing, pos dad but its already too late.at least he doesn't have to worry about pinto going through the same anymore. It was tough being a middle child trying to defend his mom from his dad.Yikeeeessssssss. his dad was probably a narcissist or at least narcissistic ngl

He probably has complex trauma and an anxiety disorder at least.

[purplepeptobismol]

I absolutely love IWMOY it is something I wait for every single day and it was awesome, I found it on tumbler and I was so glad I did, it is honestly so amazing, now on to my questions

Super duper important questions about IWMOY trust, I was wondering if Butters/Vic or kenny(at this point any of the parents) liked to put the kids in baby animal onesies cuz I can just imagine 60 onesies in the closet and the baby looking annoyed every time they have to wear one

Um second question what would their Halloween costumes be?(I know Halloween isn't till a few months but it's going to take a long time to draw their costumes 😔)

Also who would take the most pictures of their kids like who would have a billion pictures on their walls and like show off all of their kids achievements and such

Sorry if my question are dumb, u just really enjoy learning about the kids and their parents dynamics (ch14 made me this way😔)

Mhm yes 🙂‍↕️ this is a VERY serious question that requires a very serious and deeply thought out answer! WHICH IS WHY IM GOING TO GO FAR AND BEYOND AND EVEN GIVE YOU MY HEAD CANONS FOR THEIR BABY CLOTHES AS WELL. This response is in fact sooo long, I'm gonna have to break this into multiple parts! So please bare with me!😫🙏

Let’s start off with our dear McCormick family!!! 

Baby Coop

So I think they would have a couple of animal theme onesies for Cooper, but not a huge amount compared to the Marsh-Broflovski’s (which I’ll get back to that in a second). I can totally see Butters putting Coop in one of these (especially the cow one!! so cuteeee!)

They’ll probably have fun with it too, and get a couple of silly colorful ones as well!!

As for Cooper’s actual baby clothes, i believe they’ll get a couple of clothes they consider fun and cute! Lots of them would probably have cute animals or typical bear or dinosaur designs as well. 

Ok but imagine Karen coming to visit, and she says she found a parka onesie similar to this one right here(👇), but in an orange color. And she thought it would be so cute for Cooper to have one and match with Kenny! 🥹🥹🥹

Self indulgent a bit, but I like to think that one day, Kenny was out shopping and he found this goofy ass caterpillar onesie for Cooper, and they DEFINITELY have like 20 photos of him in it ☠️☠️☠️

Baby Kate 

Kate would be given the same onesies Cooper had worn as a child (if they end up fitting her). The koala fit her the cutest tho 🥺���! But Kenny and Butters end up buying a bit more and get her some themed capes or jumpers since she was around 16 months when they adopted her. Definitely more on the girly side!

As for her clothes, she’ll be given more of knitted sweaters or things with tiny flowers. Very cute cottage-core type of aesthetic. It fits her overall vibe and she looks super cute in them too!!! Knitted sweaters end up being her favorite article of clothing! 

[BTW, she too fell victim to the caterpillar onesie 😔🙏 it’s just too funny]

[desadeness]

I drew (finally) about the Marquis de Sade topic again, and also i think i’ll talk a little about the Marquis de Sade’s wife.

This is how i imagine Renée de Sade and Marquis de Sade.

I’ve read a lot of articles about how did they really look like, except everything said something different, so i freestyled as how i imagined them to look like and their colour palett, but i love how the drawing overall turned out since i had a hige artblock the last few weeks

They got married because Sade’s father wanted him to marry a noble-woman, into a noble and rich family, and Sade had a girlfriend like that at the time, but his father did not like the family she was from, so they had to break up and Sade had to marry Renée de Sade. Surprisingly they grew a bond of each other, (Renée was one year younger than Sade) but Renée did not want to give in to Sade’s sexual fantazies, but she did nothing (especially after a while when she realized ahe can’t do anything) to really stop his husband from doing what he did, the things he got him into trouble. Now, even when Sade committed a crime with his male servant, kidnapping 6 children and locking them up to La Coste, using them and even each other for their own pleasure (they committed sodomy, nothing worse than that), Renée was there, and she did nothing serious about it. A girl’s father began to search for his daughter and in the end, Renée’s mother, Marquis de Sade’s mother-in-law reported the Marquis, that’s how she got him in prison, and Marquis new that his mother-in-law got him into prison. The 120 days of sodom was written than and there in 1785, and it was inspired by what he himself commited, except the 120 days of sodom is way more “creative” and “worse”.

Sade and his wife slowly grew apart, Renée grew sick of de Sade and that he ‘never changes’, and even tho they loved eachother, especially the letters Sade wrote to her from prison shows, that after a long while of being in that marriage, they both grew annoyed. (Note: i’ve read some letters by Sade from when he was in prison, and i searched some which were to his wife, i found them fun to read, he asked for things in them and also i saw very clear ‘fight’ scenes, except i only could read his side)

They ended up divorcing in 1790.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 12/3/2024

no tuesdaypost next week! some real martha stewart homemaking ass activities going on rn tho

listening

extremely rare musical fallow week, mostly bc i have not felt well enough to drive places or walk around my apartment complex. i have mostly been relistening to old Well There's Your Problem episodes, a podcast about engineering disasters (with slides).

of course this would fuckin happen in jersey

-

reading

im having a brain time related to an unpleasant anniversary and have been churning through my stacks of weird little paperbacks. i am in the bad habit of picking up cheap interesting-looking older scifi and fantasy and then not touching them for years on end. the trouble with loving scifi and fantasy as a genre is that most of it is not very good. u gotta wade through a lot of chaff to find one thing that sort of delivers on its premise.

unrelated to all of that, ive had a little stack of cold war and wwii spy paperbacks sitting around since i bought them in high school. these have been with me through So many moves. unfortunately i have only enjoyed one of them, Peter O'Donnell's Modesty Blaise novel I, Lucifer.

i did not know anything about ms. blaise before reading this sixties spy/thriller but it was catnip to me. it has not aged particularly well, but the stuff per chapter is very high. lots of the latest and greatest sixties Cool Stuff- amateur parachuting competitions, trained dolphins, paranormal and ESP cognitive tests, impersonating american tourists for fun and profit, packets of industrial diamonds. a genuinely fun and inventive ransom method. evil marionettes? the next time i am in a real used bookstore and not a half price books i will look for more of these little fuckers.

modesty is so much fun. she gets to sleep around and be her own boss and have fun but also have her own moral code. peter o’donnell is good at writing a fight scene, and good at setting up and paying off much later but unfortunately he is still subject to the social mores and orientalism of his time.

“I’m going to try and make the black couch a thing,” Gifford says as she arranges a selection of pumpkin decorations in her living room. “Hopefully that becomes identifiable as my couch.” It’s a sentence that would sound absurd on its own, but this is the minutiae that can preoccupy the minds of influencers — especially if they live in a constant state of unease, worrying someone else will copy their life. The fierce competition of this industry means you can’t be normal about your living room furniture.

“I’m going to try and make the black couch a thing,” Gifford says as she arranges a selection of pumpkin decorations in her living room. “Hopefully that becomes identifiable as my couch.” It’s a sentence that would sound absurd on its own, but this is the minutiae that can preoccupy the minds of influencers — especially if they live in a constant state of unease, worrying someone else will copy their life. The fierce competition of this industry means you can’t be normal about your living room furniture.

i think this was a longreads suggestion from the new tabs suggested articles on firefox?

-

watching

racked up eighteen things on letterboxd this week, mostly bc kanopy had a collection of thirteen betty boop shorts. the one that tickled my fancy the most was Bimbo's Initiation (1931). six and a half surreal and horny minutes about secret society and fraternity initiations. the ass slapping machine was a real thing you could buy specifically marketed toward initiations like this.

-

playing

bc i have nothing but time on my hands i compared a list of my hidden achievements in genshin impact with a list of known hidden achievements and have been knocking them off. some of them were embarrassingly easy and i do not know how i missed them. i do have a fat stack of commission-related hidden achievements (somehow the only nation whose commission-related hidden achievements i have completely finished is the new nation. i have been playing this game for almost five years since 1.0. augh). there are a ton of co-op achievements that i don't think i'm ever going to rack up bc i don't generally play co-op but like. that's fine. there are 1428 known achievements so i think 1273 is pretty fuckin good.

-

making

sometimes i have a problem: loose threads, hang tags, etc on clothes bother the fuck out of me but i don't do anything about it bc i can never find scissors and if the kitchen scissors leave the kitchen i will never ever remember to put them back in the kitchen. the solution is getting rid of the friction involved with finding scissors and remembering to put loose threads in the garbage where my cats can't eat them and remembering to put the scissors away. too many steps! too much friction! i have reappropriated a little garbage can from my office to the laundry room and added scissors on a command hook. this will also help stop lint from piling up on top of the dryer. the second set of scissors is inside my closet, where i have command stripped up a pretty tea tin for a tiny garbage basket.

another extremely annoying thing/minor problem: i've had to wash my couch covers a lot lately. this is fine. they are designed to go through hell. however, bc i made them myself from giant dropcloths and just kind of tuck them in, it is hard to tell what the correct placement is on the couch.

there are vanishingly few practical applications for embroidery. i initially stem stitched the SHORT and chain stitched the LONG and then hated how the stem stitch looked a little messier, so i ripped it out and redid it. front & back below, there are dabs of fraychek on the knots to help them survive the wash a bit better.

i'll do the other futon cover too eventually but the couch cover has needed more frequent washing lately and was a little more of a priority. these were all extremely minor things that felt very silly to do but they did solve minor annoyances. yay.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

here have a medley of miscellaneous timeskip pro team headcanons bc WOW i haven't posted in a while and this is my only stress outlet other than binging new series <3333

starting off strong with ejp raijin LET'S GOOOOOO

washio 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼suna 🫱🏼‍🫲🏼komori: being EXHAUSTED from carrying the pro team world on their backs

no no i'm kidding. mostly

they keep a tally of other pro team matches in which their former teammates go up against each other and are REALLY smug if their respective teammate wins. which means you get shit like this

komori, cheerfully: "so how about that hornets v falcons game last night, huh?" suna: "oh shut UP tell iizuna tsukasa that aran-san could kick his ass any day of the week you little SHIT - "

they ARE united on the jackals front tho. all three of them want the adlers to go down HARD.

is suna nursing a grudge against ushijima from high school? yeah. is he ever going to get over it? probably not.

only komori feels bad bc he is fond of kageyama, but, hey, family's family

they ask washio why he hates the adlers and he looks them dead in the eyes and goes "hoshiumi kourai . . . he is a man that requires constant vigilance"

actually wait i know we all saw everyone watching and talking about the game (which makes me wanna cry SO bad) but god. how fucking funny would it be if players from monster gen convinced everyone else on their very professional and very mature teams to take sides

ejp raijin captain, who's been friends with hirugami fukurou for like ten years: "okay so explain to me again why we need to blow our entire team budget on jackals merch when we're not even going to the goddamn game?" komori: "well, it started on a cloudy but beautifully crisp spring day in 2012 - "

SPEAKING OF TACHIBANA RED FALCONS

hakuba joins the team, sees aran, and IMMEDIATELY starts texting the old kamomedai group chat

altho tbh i don't think there's no way that the "who-from-where-made-WHAT-pro-team" news never breaches the high school circuit. like come ON you know everyone's keeping up with the third year stars when they graduate

by the time the first years are third years they've got everyone pinned down on a fucking MAP. they have a shared file where they update each other on EVERYTHING. it's way less creepy than it sounds they're just a really passionate bunch okay!!!!

well that AND they can't help but brag about their amazing upperclassmen

okay sorry back to it. so it really goes more like

hakuba: "HOLY SHIT OJIRO ARAN FROM INARIZAKI IS HERE" suwa: "hakuba, we already knew that. i linked the article when it first dropped, remember?" hakuba: "yeah but it's still so WEIRD like it's OJIRO ARAN from INARIZAKI" hoshiumi: "lol atsumu told me he talks in his sleep, go find out if it's true"

aran actually does recognize hakuba mostly because gin paid him a compliment ONE (1) time and then aran had to listen to atsumu complain incessantly about the "stupid wall of muscle with stupid hair and his stupid height and stupid arms" ever since

ALSO. i think people get hakuba and hyakuzawa mixed up a lot. they've both got a similar height and build and hairstyle and play the same position

(not to mention the similar backstories)

it becomes a running joke throughout the pro leagues and makes for a fun time with falcons v warriors matches

in the event of a hyakuhina hookup (which i feel like actually could happen) they somehow get onto the topic of "haha it'd be even harder to tell them apart with your eyes closed!" and hinata, without thinking, goes "well, i probably could" and everyone is like "WHAT"

he digs himself an even deeper hole by saying "no, i just meant - i know hyakuzawa's body really well!!!" and everyone immediately starts screaming

poor hyakuzawa is dying on the inside

i think shibayama (MY BELOVED) kind of occasionally forgets that he also has his own fanbase and is sort of semi-famous as the libero of tokai heavy industries esperanza bc. he knows kenma and yaku and lev and komi and yamamoto and fukunaga and, in general, a bunch of people that he believes are much more well-known than he is

he's always so flattered whenever someone stops him in the street to ask for a pic or when he sees posts online gushing about him

this is extra funny bc he never talks about his friends like they're famous so all of his teammates don't really know that shibayama is friends with all these other famous people

and then one of them, an avid kodzuken fan, spams their group chat when kodzuken's newest video is released and shibayama shows up in it

they're like "SHIBAYAMA!! HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH KODZUKEN??" and shibayama is like "i have?? i talk about kenma-san all the time??" and they're like "YOU'RE TELLING ME KODZUKEN IS THE SAME KENMA-SAN WHO RIPPED HIS HIGH SCHOOL JERSEY TRYING TO JUMP OVER A FENCE???"

(shibayama's second year. they'd been dealing with things. it worked out, in the end. even if they had to lie to nekomata and naoki about why all their jerseys ended up with holes in them.)

i love the pro teams you guys they're so fucking funny

[deadzonedenizen]

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

RAMBLING ABOUT OCS: GIBBY EDITION

BASIC CONCEPT IDEA:

Before we start with the rambling, we first need to start with the JTTW character she is based on.

According to this article, there are four monkeys of havoc, Wukong and Macaque making up half of them. Horse Monkey will be a ramble for another time. Right now, we're putting our focus on the gibbon.

Lots of space-themes going on with this little guy. When I first read this bit, you know the first character that came into mind?

Now you know the reason behind Gibby's Halloween costume. So anyways, that collector inspiration already gave me a basic idea of what I wanted Gibby to be as a character. Bouncy little kid that has too much power for her own good.

Other inspirations for her character include Mebh from Wolfwalkers, Young Eda from The Owl House, Spinel from Steven Universe, and later on Kingsley from Yaelokre. The first two especially influenced Gibby's hair design, the third tracks with her ability to stretch her arms, and the last with a good chunk of her personality.

DESIGN:

Probably the first thing you'd notice from Gibby design-wise is her giant hair. I've decided to give her that hair to give her a sort of silhouette that resembles a shooting star. With Gibby herself, she is somewhere around two-three lego heads tall. I mean- gibbons are already teeny, and especially the young by default, so of course Gibby's gonna be fun-sized.

With her color palette, I chose colors from the more pastel-y side to emphasize that childlike wonder that's basically associated with her. Fun fact, her hair is a reference to how she was born ;)

Her clothes, I wanted it to look like something you'd find a FFM monkey demon wearing, while still referencing Gibby's former job as the Jade Court's jester by adding what's basically a faded version of the Celestial Realm's signature turquoise and gold, and putting jester-like design bits like the little bells and mismatched colors. I also want the outfit to look like something she made herself.

NOTES FURTHER INTO DEVELOPMENT:

I can't really say too much without spoiling some bits of Ship In A Bottle, so I'll try to avoid anything that borders too close to that. Instead, I'll list each of the details from the JTTW Gibbon's description + how it's applied to Gibby.

'Seize the sun and moon'

Okay, so she can't literally manipulate celestial bodies all over the place. Instead, it's reflected on her flutes. Yes, Bell's flutes are actually hers, and are just meant to serve as Bell's training wheels with his powers. The flutes have a second form that resembles sunwheels (Though it would be appropriate to call the moon flute's wheel form a moonwheel).

Usually only one flute can be used in this form at a time. Which of the flutes can be used in its wheel form depends on whether it's day and night (moonwheel only for night, sunwheel only for day). The only time both can be used in their wheel forms is during an eclipse, or if the flutes are being used by two people. (Something I need to update in Ship In A Bottle 💀)

I haven't designed the wheel forms yet, but the sunwheel has its rays more emphasized, and the moonwheel's appearance depends on the moon's current phase. The sunwheel also resembles a suncatcher, while the moonwheel resembles a dreamcatcher with magpie feathers (for Ship In A Bottle readers, no you can't make oaths with them).

'Shorten a thousand mountains'

Ooooohhh boy, this is one of the more spoilery bits. All I need to say is...there was a reason they had to trap Gibby in the calabash. Gibby's abilities that aren't mentioned anywhere else here fall under this category. That's how you know these are her more...unstable abilities. Thankfully she'd need a good supply of power to source the energy needed for all of that. Otherwise it'd be really...disastrous. An ability I can safely mention without spoilers tho, is her ability to...literally shorten mountains. And by that, I mean cause chunks of land to break off from the ground and remain floating in air. A lot of floating islands can be contributed to her.

'Distinguish the auspicious from the inauspicious'

Or in Gibby terms, her gut feelings. AKA her intuition. There is a small legend about her, where if she appears in your dreams, it's a sign of that dream possibly foretelling a future event. So she's basically an omen, good or bad depending on the dream. Being a dream-hopper, she tends to be more attracted to dreams that likelier to be a sign about the future.

Another small legend basically makes her a wishing star-like figure. If you wish upon a star, you're inviting Gibby to visit your dream (dream, as in your wish in this context).

In the waking world, her gut feelings are a bit weaker. Simply put, the closer that specific event is to happening, the stronger her gut feeling is. For an event that could happen maybe a year into the future, Gibby would only get a slight gut feeling that she could easily just wave off. For an event that's a second from happening, Gibby gets literal vision flashes before they actually happen. This makes her a really good dodger, making her difficult to attack.

'Manipulate planets and stars'

Again she can't just play pinball with celestial bodies whenever she wanted (and believe me, she does). The planet bit is less referenced compared to the star bit (for a reason involving another oc).

Reading this far into my rambling, you already see a lot of star motifs with Gibby. Well another is her ability to manipulate stardust, which can put people to sleep if she's not careful. She generates stardust using her flutes, and the stardust is how she makes clones of herself, and even other people. The stardust can act like pixie dust too. Sprinkle a bit of it on something, and that's how you make that something float (remember the floating islands?). Yes, she can manipulate normal sand too (also a reference to her birth).

Stars and other celestial bodies also make up a good chunk of how she can tell if her gut feelings are a false alarm or not, since the position of celestial bodies can predict someone's d*stiny in Chinese astrology.

Gibby as a celestial primate

Whereas Wukong is the sun and Macaque is the moon, Gibby is the stars. Whereas Wukong is the hero and Macaque is the warrior, Gibby is the jester. I like to think that there's this sort of duality when it comes to pairs of celestial primates.

Wukong represents the unchanging sun, and the fact that it never stops shining. You just can't help but notice him, but even dare to make eye contact, and you might mark yourself as an enemy.

Macaque represents the ever-changing moon, its different phases reflecting in how Macaque is better able to adjust to different situations. You don't always notice him. Sometimes he shines brightly with a dramatic display, and sometimes he's blended with the shadows of the night.

Gibby represents the playful stars. Her head is in the clouds and she's almost always literally floating. She embodies the whimsies of childhood, the curiosity of youth, and the world through the lens of a child.

So you already have a bit of a hint about down-to-earth Mandrill's character, hint hint nudge nudge ;)

[dreambones]

Jake's Halloween Night Series fun/random fact and details

All of the plants in Reid's house are plastic except for the ones in his room, which are wilted and dying. Reid tried to copy Grin in different aspects but he lacks a "green thumb" and all the plants he takes care of end up dying.

2. Most horror movie references in the game were intentional: The yellow raincoat from IT, the door breaking for The Shining, the lake to Friday 13, etc. The key in the bathtub was an accidental reference, at the moment of designing the puzzle I forgot that's one of the keys in the Saw movie.

3. All the party guests in CHN have names of horror characters except for Catrina, Hope n Reid:

John - John Kramer/Jigsaw Mike - Michael Myers Pamela - Pamela Voorhees/Jason's mom Fred - Freddy Krueger Hope if you take the P is Hoe (the bimbo stereotype) Reid Harris sounds similar to Red Herring

4. Bellow the forest painting there is a small easter egg to The Mushroom Killer, the slasher game I was originally working on until I took a break in October to work on JHN. The painting itself is also a reference to the setting of the game.

5. I came up with the idea of Jake touching/scratching/picking at his neck scar after myself, I have the (kinda bad) habit of picking at my own neck or just scratching it when my hands have nothing to do.

This is also a habit he developed after dying :)

6. Jake colors are orange + green while Cat is the complementary colors purple + blue. At the same time orange + purple are classic Halloween colors, with Jake represented by a pumpkin and Catrina by a black cat. They are opposites but at the same time complement each other, they are tied together.

7. In JHN walking around the present house, you can vaguely piece together Jake's last night by following the bloody footsteps, stains, and broken furniture.

At the moment I made this post I forgot to include his bedroom, where he enters and writes a message to himself on the chest "keep keys safe".

8. Jake is left handed, but I haven't had much chance to show it aside with how he holds his ax. It's one of the random traits I picked when I first made him and the one that I have to pay attention to because I am right handed, so I always default to drawing all my characters right handed too.

9. A bit about Reid

10. For Jake's notes I wanted his handwriting to reflect his personality, so I tried to follow graphology articles to try to portray his personality in how he writes and then made a special font to keep it consistent. I don't know graphology, so I am not sure I did manage to portray him correctly tho.

11. I really enjoy putting lots of details that won't make sense until later in the series :) Especially in places where they seem gratuitous or just an aesthetic choice.

12. Looking for a name for the Final Girl I found out Catrina means "pure/virgin", but also La Catrina is a skeleton lady used to represent Dia de Muertos, which I see as a representation of the dead visiting the world of the living. Plus she can be Cat, with the symbol of a black cat tied to Halloween

13. A bit of foreshadowing for the third game (if everything goes according to plan).

That's all, hope you enjoyed <3

[wolvertooth]

can you plz hate rant about the deadpool & wolverine movie… saw it last week and i didn’t like it all… very refreshing to see that someone shares my opinion lmao

i got u man👍 most of this was in my drafts from after the movie came out, but i just never got around to posting it. i added some other opinions ive had since then, tho theres still a lot ive said over the past month that ive totally forgotten about lol

the intro sequence was fucking HYPE‼️ but then, part way thru the movie, u realize....it doesnt ever hit that same mark again. WHERE TF WAS THE HUGH JACKMAN SONG THEY PROMISED? the trailers showed 95% xmen origins clips. the movie didnt mention it once. no the brothers line doesnt count. false fucking advertising. deadpools sexuality has been confirmed since 2014. and now, 10 years later, its still being reduced to gay jokes. and people still eat it up like its genuine rep.

that guy at the tva who’s whole punchline was that he likes men. why. in 2024. why is that allowed. his whole character was a gay joke. i mean so was deadpool, but this guys whole thing was. That. can i say homophobia? can i say i felt that? is that reasonable? this movie felt like a fundraiser for the future avengers movies to make up for all the recent flops.

i watched this shit twice and yea. i was right. the plot was half assed. once u watch it once, thats it. thats the fun. its all just cameos. the jokes didnt even make me laugh again, since it was majority shock based humor. my second watch thru i was trying not to fall asleep in my chair. the way it lacks plot isnt in the Not Coherent kind of way, but rather 'this couldve been a 40 minute monster of the week episode'....or maybe even a 2 episodes if they wanted to get freaky with it it just felt so separate from the rest of the movies, like it wasnt even a sequel.

literally, the movie begins with them abandoning the previous timeline and wade moving to a new ‘better’ one.....almost like hes moving over to a more sacred timeline.........separate from fox.........which is dumb af cuz the movie couldve been him accepting that whatever happens in ur life u cant go back and change, and u have to make due with the good u already have. the previous movie ended with him having a family, he didnt need a new one. i mean, they did that for logans 'learning moment', why wouldnt that also apply to wade? paradox literally says ‘hey we brought u in cuz the mcu is dying, so u should come over to the sacred timeline’ and then after he changes into his costume THEY CHANGE THE PLOT. THEY THROW THAT OUT. WITHIN MINUTES. now paradox is like ‘actually just your timeline is dying, and i wont elaborate on how that works. and also u dont get to go to the sacred timeline. and i hate you.’ WHY BRING HIM THERE AT ALL THEN IF THATS THE PLOT U CHANGED IT TO? ITS DOESNT MAKE SENSE. even if the plot was that he had to go to the sacred timeline cuz his own was dying, WHY WOULDNT HE BE ABLE TO BRING HIS FRIENDS?

what was the vanessa plot? they never explain why she broke up with him? theres like a tiny flashback where she says hes been distracted ever since he got rejected, rejected from what? clearly not the avengers, since that happens after she leaves him. so wtf was the motive here????? the cameos felt like props. especially the deadpool corps, which i feel like they didnt even skim a wiki article for. they just went off google images. which hurt me. cuz i reallyyyyy like those guys....in the comics, theyre a group of deadpools(consisting of lady deadpool, kidpool, headpool, dogpool, and deadpool), who in their first series save the multiverse from being destroyed(sound familiar?). theyre the GOOD GUYS. why tf would they hear cassandra nova say ‘hey im gonna kill the entire multiverse’ and go ‘alright sure whatever’. why were they in the void to begin with? how’d they get there? isnt the void just for movie continuities anyway? why was cassandra also there? how does the void work? why does the void exist? will someone please explain literally anything in this movie? why not have them come in later to save the fucking day instead??

oh lady deadpool...how they massacred ur character... OH KIDPOOL.....HOW THEY MASSACRED UR CHARACTER...... god speaking of that. cassandra nova had literally so much potential and they watered her down to just Evil Villain. she hasnt done much in the comics, but one the things she did in one them was using her powers for therapy on the xmen(which deadpool also made a cameo in). she sort of does this briefly in that one scene, but it was just so.....basic. bland. why was there no b plot with the rest of the main cast. did they think the audience doesnt watch these movies for them? cuz i sure fucking do. i was waiting for the continuation of colossus and wades epic romance arc. side note, the gay jokes in the previous movies felt even less queerbaity then these ones. this movies queerbaiting was just....sad. marketing queerbaiting. this movie WISHES it couldve been deadpool 2 levels of queerbait(shoutout to the extended sex mimicking scene set to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel)

did anyone catch at the end when deadpool was narrating and when he said ‘friends’ yukio and negasonic teenage warhead were on screen. did anyone see that. they disney gal paled them.

i know wade is supposed to be the Funny Guy but man. thats literally all he was this movie. the other ones has ANGST they had him be HUMAN while this one was like 'logan was mean to me one time ):' bro. what happened. where'd the writers go.

this wolverine was like. the wolverine 2014 wolverine. which is when fox wolverine started to lose character and just become grumpy and mean. hes also like that in Logan 2017, but the reason why this kinda attitude works in that one is bcuz hes old, hes fucked up, hes tired, and every fuck that comes outta his mouth he means it. and yet....still manages to experience other emotions. what a concept. ive read literal satire comics that understood his character more(shoutout to the What The--?! series). it just had me waiting for the 'gotcha! this wolverine is actually 3 dimensional!' but it never fucking got there. it was amusing in the beginning, but by like half way in, i did not give a single fuck about this guy. they tried to give him some emotional moment(like. the only emotional moment in the entire film) but it just...lacked the emotion. just 'heres my sad backstory. are u sad now?' and then they did the SAME THING AGAIN no we get it man u were at the bar instead of with ur friends and u went on a classic wolverine style berserker rage. why should we care tho?

i mean, sure, they could use the excuse of being in the type of depressive state where ur emotions numb out(speaking as a mfer with the came curse), and yea hes not the kinda guy to open up about his emotions unless he really trusts someone(which he would likely distance himself from forming connections with others after that kind of trauma), but with cassandra nova right there there was a missed opportunity for elaborating on that. for digging deep into his brain and telling why this fucked him up so bad. imo, if i were to write it, with everyone he gets close to he puts upon the expectation for himself that hes at fault for anything that happens to them. that he needs to be the savior, even in a friendship. to prove himself to be worth something. especially after a life of being convinced hes a burden by just existing as himself, he needs to have use in order to make up for the fact that hes Logan.

but whos going to save him? isnt he struggling too? whos gonna help you? looking at all the other logans across the multiverse, who is the wolverine? why do you keep falling for the same patterns no matter where you are and who you are? deadpool called sabretooth queen and she/her'd logan within like 5 seconds of eachother. that was pretty good ig

final verdict:

yknow. i think i get now the way fans reacted the way they did tho.

the other night i was rewatching the movie Hackers with my mom, saying that it was obvious the creators mustve known a lot about hacking in order to do such a good parody of it, out of love for the craft….but my knowledge of hacking is pretty minimal, so i have no actual fucking clue if that assumption is accurate or not. im just going off of a ton of references to hacking. for all i know, real hackers couldve hated this movie.

and thats how the average non comic fan saw this movie. they saw a buncha characters and references and thought ‘damn, they must really love the source material’ without knowing how much of a kick in the face it felt like to watch them get used and butchered like that.

[quinnkle]

still a work in progress, will add onto this post when i get more done from wizardsfang' post!!!

Raccoon dogs are absolutely sick and u should know more about them!!

One of my sub-cladotheriotypes is a Raccoon dog, and for as far as i know not a lot of ppl know this animal, so here's one big summary of a lot of facts, photos, personal favorite things, affirmations, memes, personal experiences, music, gifs and a lot more related to this kin of mine :]

I made this post in response to the Niche Kin Appreciation post of @wizardsfang, which u should def check out after looking at this post :3

Introduction to my silly kin: Raccoon dogs

so here is my (not so) short summary of one of my fav kins which is actually super cool!

Raccoon dogs are a canine distantly related to dogs and wolves, they're a lot closer to foxes tho. They originated from Japan and continental east Asia (Siberia to coastal South-China) and are also known as Tanuki, that also being the name a lot of folklore and superstition is tied to.

For instance, in Japan it is believed they are able to shapeshift and posses people. The origin of their power is supposed to be stored in their balls, which is extremely funny to me. This is also why depictions of them in classical Japanese art show them with absolutely gigantic sacks, which is just hilarious imo, here is an example of what I'm talking about -> example :3 (TW genitals)

In the early 20th century Russian trappers took them to West-Russian fur farms to bypass the enormous distance they needed to travel to trade the furs of these animals, this was of course the dumbest idea ever. Some racoon dogs managed to escape into the wild, where they thrived in the large-predator slim environment.

They made their way through the whole of Europe driving some species to extinction, the furthest into Europe they've been spotted is at the border of France and Spain, which is a journey of around 2000-3000 km! in only a hundred years of travel that is a lot (I'm not a specialist on animal behavior so idk for sure but it sounds like a lot lol).

Although racoon dogs and raccoons look a lot like each other and their name suggests otherwise they aren't actually related, both just happen to be nocturnal omnivores with black spots around their eyes that happened to evolve in a very similar way.

PLAYLIST that give me the vibes of the silly dudes

*Big disclaimer, none of these songs are actually about raccoon dogs, they just remind me in some way, shape or from of them :3 its also just songs that give of the vibes I get whenever I'm shifting into this type, specifically "boss battle in a french cat cafe"

5 super cool fun facts about raccoon dogs >:3

In super Mario there is a power-up called raccoon Mario, even though its named after raccoons the ears and tail Mario gets actually depict those of a Tanuki/japanese raccoon dog. This power-up makes u able to temporarily fly, which stems from all the folklore around Tanuki's. there is also a Tanooki Mario which depicts Mario in a Tanuki onesie and gives him the ability to turn into a statue which doesn't take any damage but damages the enemies it falls on, this makes him able to hurt otherwise invincible enemies.

Some theorists think COVID 19 came from Raccoon dogs instead of bats, i had a hard time finding any actual research on this so i cant say if this is possibly true or not tho :( But here's a pretty interesting article about it tho -> article :3

In eastern Russia up to half of the raccoon dogs die to be being killed by a wolf, which is rlly conflicting specifically for me because one of my other types is a wolf lol

Raccoon dogs produce way more saliva than they actually need, they do this so they are able to eat poisonous frogs. The saliva dilutes the poison of the frogs to the point it cant harm the raccoon dogs anymore. This is so quirky to, they lit were just like, spicy frog? Ima just not care and become extremely thirsty for it :] AND IT FUCKING WORKED

The black spots around the eyes of raccoon dogs (and also those of raccoons) are there so that whenever they're in the dark and a sudden bright light gets turned on they wont get flash banged. The black spots absorb the light instead of reflecting it into their eyes making it easier for them to adjust to the light. Humans actually also use this trick, mostly by soldiers and hunters :3

Photo and vid dump :D

*ps, last vid is from here -> vid source :3

Sources

I'm such a good doggy for doing sources, always give credits pups, otherwise you're a bad dog >:(

Wikipedia.org: "Common raccoon dog"

Wikipedia.org: "Japanese raccoon dog"

Wikipedia.org: "japanse wasbeerhond" (dutch version of wikipage)

Youtube.com: "Tanuki: The Dog That Thinks It’s A Raccoon"

Treehugger.com: "8 Surprising Tanuki Facts" (it seems impossible to scroll on this page so if u rlly wanna read it u can ctrl+a and then copy and paste all the text into a text document to read it)

MarioWiki.com: "Raccoon Mario"

MarioWiki.com: "Tanooki Mario"

BBC.com: "Genetic ghosts suggest Covid’s market origins"

Wikimedia.org/commons: "File:Nyctereutes procyonoides viverrinus - Tobu Zoo - 2012.ogv"

[trekkele]

im sorry to bother you i just have a question. do jewish people have like superstition(?) to follow to banish ghosts or evil spirit or bad luck and the like? like christians do holy water, muslims do ayatul kursi, various indigenous religions burns herbs, what do jewish people do? im planning a fic involving ghosts and this far im not sure i can trust google tbh every article i read says different things..

Ooooh this is such a fun question! Ok so caveat, I’m Ashkenazi so I can only really answer from that pov, and even then every country would have had their own twists on folklore and traditions.

The reason you might be having a hard time finding something is that (and again, one jew, one experience, only one opinion) we don’t really have ghosts like that. By ghosts i mean a benevolent spirit whos a remnant of a soul, because souls always move on. Your options for “reincarnation” would be fresh new start as a baby, or reborn as an animal or object searching for the one person who can give you forgiveness and/or help you complete a vow/mitzvah.

So like, a popular superstition was that if a stray cat is following you, its really the soul of someone who wronged you and you should face it and say “mochel loch” (lit: i forgive you) three times, so that it can move on and leave you alone.

If you want an evil spirit, you dont have to use a Jewish method of banishment because according to jewish tradition spirits/demons can actually be any religion and the method of banishment would correspond with their own chosen faith. Mostly i think we used like. Conversation. To get them to leave? Ngl i dont know much about it, but the idea of the jewish kid sitting down and debating the demon into leaving is delightful.

Bad Luck, which we would call Ayin Hora (lit. evil eye) has lots of methods attached to it. Common one that pretty much everyone i know has heard of is these little red string bracelets. The origin is probably related to the yom kippur service but im not looking it up rn. Thats preemptive tho, you put it on new babies or cute kids or brides to ward off bad luck before it can arrive. Theres also lead pouring, which is very controversial because it doesnt really have a basis in anything.

Honestly i couldve given one answer and its “gather a minyan (group of ten Jewish adults (traditionally men)) and daven as a group in the place thats causing trouble”. Bring a rabbi if you think the demon is going to be good at debate, bring a yeshiva student if you just want to annoy it into leaving.

Also if you want to send me a specific article or idea you had i can totally tell you if it would/wouldnt work (based on my knowledge) (not that i have knowledge of banishing ghosts, but on judaism)

Also i know i mentioned this up top and i wrote all this from memory without checking anything, but one jew can really only give you one or two (sometimes three!) opinions. You can always ask someone else!