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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years ago

Note

hi steph!! hope u had a lovely day :>

do you have any teenlock/unilock fics where john is captain of the rugby team?

Hey Nonny!

Here are the ones turning up in my tag search on my MFL list! Feel free to add your own, Friends! :)

TEEN / UNI AU with RUGBY JOHN (MFLs)

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock (I have read this one only, it's great!)

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Eurus by Sini333 (T, 2,262 w., 1 Ch. || Teenlock AU || Trans!Sherlock, Rugby John, Bullying, John Wants to Help) – Sherlock has begun transitioning from female to male, the rugby team is a bunch of bullies, and John just wants to help. Part 2 of JohnLock One-Shots

the anonymous wall (teenlock) by godmolly (G, 3,638 w., 1 Ch. || High School AU || Fluff, Gay) – There's an anonymous confession wall in their school. And one day, amongst all of the weird or shameful admissions, there's a message most interesting to a certain Mike Stamford. "I'm gay and hopelessly in love with the rugby captain" If only John's heart weren't already taken by his shy lab partner.

Open or Closed? by dragonQuill907 (T, 8,038 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock || Mystrade, Hoopford, Truth or Dare, Ballet Sherlock, Rugby John) – In which they're all in uni, Irene's having a party, and they decide to play truth or dare.

Wishing You Were Somehow Here by Mssmithlove (E, 10,158 w. || Teen/Unilock || Long-Distance Relationship, Rugby John, Bullying, Sexting) – While John chases his dream of becoming a professional rugby player, Sherlock is stuck at University, wishing he'd come back and prove that he is, in fact, Sherlock's boyfriend since no one on campus seems to believe him. Part 15 of the Happiness Awaits series

Are You Being Careful With Your Heart? by Mssmithlove (E, 12,379 w. || High School AU || Underage, Teenlock, Nerd Sherlock, Greaser John, Rugby John, Virgin Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Pining Sherlock) – There's a new boy in school and for quiet, shy Sherlock Holmes, that is proving to be a problem.

The Dancer and The Captain by Mssmithlove (E, 17,313 w., 1 Ch. || Teenager AU || Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Rugby John, New Relationship) – Ballet has always been Sherlock's first love, but when a certain rugby captain starts hanging around, well, that may just change.

Quo Fata Vocant by prettysailorsoldier (E, 18,115 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock / Teenlock || Librarians, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Time, Tattoos, Valentine’s Day, Secret Admirer, Matchmaker) – Sherlock is enamored with one of the employees at the university library, wiling away hours of his days just to catch a glimpse of the dynamic John Watson: captain of the rugby team, event manager for the LGBT society, and third-year medical student. Of course, being only a first-year, it's unlikely John will ever notice him. At least, until fate (and a little well-intentioned meddling) intervenes.

Forces of Nature by Ewebie (E, 18,369 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock || Rugby Captain John, Hammock Sex, Bad Jokes) – Sherlock watched as the man pushed himself out of the water and onto the floating dock constantly anchored in the middle of the lake. Oh. He was… He was quite tanned. Broad shoulders sloped into a narrow, muscular waist and tapered hips that disappeared into the navy swim trunks. Somehow the breadth of the shoulders made the thighs and legs that appeared out of the bottom of the trunks look delicate. Tanned in their own right and powerful, but oddly proportionate to the shorter stature the man seemed to possess. Sherlock watched the water run off of him, down his back, tracing a path along his spine and through the pleasing fossae lumbales laterales and lumbar lordosis into the waistband of the trunks. Sherlock swallowed. Shit.

Pas de Deux by shevrlock (T, 20,341 w., 14 Ch. || Teen Balllet / Rugby AU || Fluff, Angst) – Sherlock Holmes is a gifted ballet dancer in industrial, unforgiving 1980s Newcastle, bullied and teased for doing what he loves. One day, as he and Molly leave the dance studio, her boyfriend Greg is waiting outside accompanied by his new rugby captain: one John Watson. Surrounded by hate and homophobia they find themselves drawn to each other, using love to escape the harsh reality of life growing up with prejudice. Ballet!lock/Rugby!john inspired by Billy Elliot.

Just a Touch of Lips by Salambo06 (E, 21,313 w., 20 Ch. || Unilock AU || SPANISH AVAILABLE || Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Texting / Time, Misunderstandings, Developing Relationship) – Two weeks ago, Sherlock kissed a blindfolded John Watson, captain of the Rugby Team, during an university event and left before he could see his face. Neither have been able to think about anything else since.When Mike mentions a certain student in his Chemistry class who could help John find his mysterious kisser, they both find themselves in a situation they hadn't expected.

Reach My Eyes by thelittleboffin (M, 23,151 w., 8 Ch || Teenlock || Drama, Romance, Abuse, Language, Sex) – Rugby captain John and troubled teen Sherlock are Youtubers who make their way to fame and find love along the way.

Feeling Seen by jadztone (E, 30,177 w., 9 Ch. || University AU || Ballet!Sherlock / Rugby!John, Demisexuality, Virgin John, Experienced Sherlock, Toplock, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Background Molly/Irene & Greg/Sally) – Rugby player John is starting over at a new university, with the help of friends Molly and Bill. Few people know that John is demisexual, but ballet dancer Sherlock Holmes deduces right away that he has no interest in sex unless he’s fallen in love. John finds this strange genius intriguing and would like to get to know him, but Sherlock has a self-cultivated reputation for only wanting casual sex. John has reason to believe that’s not really true, but he’s not sure he wants to risk his twice-fractured heart to find out.

Love, SH by Lola_hyuga (M, 34,571 w., 15 Ch. || Teenager / Love, Simon AU || Smut, Fluff, Emails, Secrets, Blackmail, POV Sherlock, Slow Burn, High School, Rugby Captain John, Bullying, Pining, Secret Identities, First Time) – Sherlock shares anonymous emails with someone he very much enjoys receiving attention from. Problem is, he has no idea who. Bigger problem is, someone finds out and blackmails him. He compromises himself, just for an opportunity at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy's he's ever "met".

Roll Away Your Stone by foxxcub (E, 39,463 w., 1 Ch. || Downey Holmes || Boarding School AU) – Seventeen-year-old John Watson is set to finish his final year of school with a flourish, until the headmaster assigns John as a "tutor" to an arrogant, yet brilliant new student named Sherlock Holmes. Holmes is not about to be put in his place by this popular rugby football player with the too-blue eyes, and John isn't going to let this impulsive fifteen-year-old get away with anything. Neither expects to become friends, but a series of unexpected events and a possible murder mystery bring them closer together than either of them thought possible.

Capturing Perfection by Breath4Soul (E, 41,296 w., 13 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Nude Modelling / Photos, Dev. Rel., Sherlock Loves John, Rugby John, Compromising Positions, Drunken Love Confessions, Possessive John, Drunk John/Sherlock, Oblivious Sherlock, Flirting, Grinding, Protective / Meddling Mycroft, Dirty Dancing, Seduction, Virgin Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Friends to Lovers, Tickling, Embarrassed Sherlock, Blow/Hand Jobs, Oral, Frottage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Sexy Times) – Rugby Captain John Watson and science-minded photographer Sherlock are classmates at uni. Sherlock has a class project where he needs a nude model. He asks the only boy that intrigues him, John Watson, to be his model. The more time they spend together the more they realize there is a perfect attraction between them. Part 2 of the Tumblr Made Me Do It

Blond Barista Seeks Dashing Ballet Dancer: Inquire Within by prettysailorsoldier (E, 43,847 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock Coffee Shop AU || Rugby/Barista John, Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Fluff) – Between classes, his job at a local cafe, and being captain of the rugby team, John Watson's life is plenty stressful enough without the addition of a mysterious ballet dancer he can see through the windows of the dance studio across the street, but, somehow, he can't bring himself to mind.

Seducing Sherlock Holmes by orphan_account (M, 51,338 w., 19 Ch. || Teenlock AU || First Kiss / Time, Fluff and Angst, Angst with Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Rugby John, Smut) – It started out as a dare. It ended up being so much more.

Spinning by Minxchester (E, 67,845 w., 14 Ch. || Teenager AU || Drama, Foster Care, Rugby John, Abusive Relationship, Age Difference, Romantic Friendship, Oral Sex, Rimming, Guardian/Ward Relationship, Victor Trevor) – The lottery exists to allow poor and struggling families to place their children in the care of wealthy patrons, who will provide for them until they come of age. When medical bills leave the Watson family in trouble, seventeen-year-old John is assigned to the care of Sherlock Holmes, a man unlike anyone John has ever encountered.

A Study in Movement by Supernova12 (E, 69,869 w., 21 Ch. || Teenager AU || Balletlock, Rugby!John, Drawing, First Time, Texting, Angst, Happy Ending) To improve his drawing, John has to study the movement of ballet dancers. One particular dancer seems to be the perfect candidate.

My Heart Is True As Steel by prettysailorsoldier (E, 316,207 w., 29/? Ch. || Teenlock || WiP || Case Fic, Rugby, Fluff, First Kiss/Time, Past Drug Use, Anal, Blow Jobs) – When Sherlock and John become roommates at a prestigious sixth-form college, they both get a lot more than they bargained for. Between Shakespeare, rugby, and not a small amount of murder, it promises to be a very interesting year, but there is much more going on than meets the eye. A noose is tightening around the duo, darker and more dangerous than anyone realizes, and it will take everything they both have to unravel it before they lose everything they've found.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #rugby john #teenlock #unilock #johnlock fic reqs

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dragongirlmesilune · 2 years ago

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Stealing Fire

(I wrote this for my friend @ibrithir-was-here it's based on their Endless Heirs AU, plus the recent 'The Sandman Universe: Nightmare Country' comics, which I feel would fit into their AU quite well, as it seems a certain golden eyed anthropomorphic personification is messing with their older brother YET AGAIN. Also, Daniel is about 18 in this.)

The last thing Madison Flynn remembered was her dead friend Kells snapping her neck on the orders of two murderous gimps, while said dead friend was being stabbed by a man with teeth for eyes who was apparently not only a serial killer, but also a dream, and now she was in some unending white void, probably dead, and her only remaining friend Robbie would probably be joining her momentarily.

She was pretty sure the situation could not get any weirder.

She was quickly proven wrong.

"Um... Excuse me? Madison Flynn?"

She whirled around at the sudden voice- and came face to face with a guy about her age.

Or, at least, it had the general shape of a guy about her age.

It- he, really, was white, unnaturally white. From his skin to his hair (which seemed to float about in defiance of gravity) to the robe he wore, everything about him was as white as a piece of paper. The only exceptions were the emerald that hung from a chain around his neck, and his eyes, which were black voids dotted with pinpricks of light.

Stars. Madison realized.

He has actual fuckin' STARS inside his fuckin' EYEBALLS.

The being seemed to notice her discomfort and took a step back, a slightly worried look on his face.

"You- you don't need to be scared. I'm not gonna hurt you..."

It took her a moment to find her voice. "Am... am I dead?"

"Unfortunately."

"Are you death?"

He snorts a bit at that. "No, I'm not Death, thats my auntie. I'm Daniel. Cori asked me to talk to you."

It took Madison a moment to realize who he was talking about. "The Corinthian?"

"Yeah. He kinda works for my Dad, and he asked him to save you. Except, Dad is a bit... intimidating, so he decided to let me do the talking instead."

"Who... Who exactly is your Dad? What exactly is he?" Madison had a feeling the answer was going to be something big.

Daniel smiled gently. "Dad has a lot of names. Lord Shaper, King of Stories, Kai'ckul, Onerios, The Sandman... the name he uses most often is Morpheus, but his true one is Dream of the Endless. As for what he is... well, I think of him as a very polite Lovecraftian eldrich horror- insanely powerful, but you can't perceive his true form because your mind would melt into goo."

"I... see." Madison said, even though she really didn't. "And what does that make you?"

"I'm... complicated." Daniel scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "You ever seen that movie Wolfwalkers, where the people's spirits become wolves while their bodies sleep? I'm kinda like that, except instead of a wolf, my spirit turns into... this." He gestured to himself.

Madison was silent for a moment, before she finally responded. "So which one of you is responsible for those bullshit dreams about my middle school bullies apologizing to me?!"

"Actually, neither of us is." Daniel said, his voice grave. "And that's a huge problem."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Whenever a being dreams, they come to a place called the Dreaming. But when Dad examined your body, he discovered you hadn't been there since you were little. Somehow, something has taken your ability to enter the Dreaming and has been feeding you false dreams in its place. And this 'Smiling Man', this waking nightmare you keep seeing who looks a little like Cori? Neither Dad nor I made him, and we've literally made every dream and nightmare there is. And it isn't just you either. There have been at least fourteen other people who've seen the Smiling Man- and most of them have died horribly in the past six weeks. Cori wants to hunt it- and whoever is behind it- down, but he wants your help doing it. I'm probably going to be coming along too, just so he doesn't start eating eyeballs again. And before you ask, no I won't be looking like this, like I said before, I'm a human when I'm awake."

"So, my options are to help a serial killer and a demigod solve the mystery of my death or just like... fuck off to heaven or something?"

"Pretty much."

Madison thought about it. From what Daniel had said, someone had been messing with her head for a long time, and whoever had done it was not only responsible for her death, but the deaths of multiple other people and judging by the way they had torched her dormroom and butchered Kells, they didn't care about collateral damage.

She had every right to rest in peace... but she couldn't.

Not when innocent people were dying and she could do something to stop it.

She stuck out her hand. "I'm in."

"Great!" Daniel said, grabbing the offered appendage. "Now hold still, I've never made a once-living person a new body before, and I don't wanna mess up."

"Wait- 'New body'?!"

Everything went white.

-------

The door to Limbo opened, and the Prince of Dreams stepped through, into the bloodstained living room where his Dad, Matthew, and the Corinthian stood waiting amongst several sleeping humans.

"So?" Dream asked.

"How did it go?"

Daniel smiled. "See for yourself."

There was the sound of wings, and a raven came to land on the floor. Unlike Matthew, however, this bird had plumage as white as Daniels robes. The raven glared at Daniel with black eyes for a moment before opening its beak to speak in Madisons voice. "You could've said I was gonna come back as a bird!"

He shrugged. "Well I couldn't exactly bring you back in your old form could I? Walking around with a dead person tends to draw unwanted attention, and this way you can go between the Waking and the Dreaming without my help. Plus, now Matthew doesn't need to run himself ragged trying to keep an eye on both me and Dad."

"Well I still would've preferred a warning! And who's Matthew?"

"That'd be me."

Madison let out a squawk of fright as she laid eyes on the tall, eerie figure of Dream, swathed in night colored robes with flame-licked edges and with an omen of death perched on his shoulder.

No wonder he let Daniel do the talking.

"Madison, meet my Dad, Dream of the Endless, and his raven Matthew."

"Hi."

"Greetings, Miss Madison." Dream nodded before looking at his son.

"She is white, Daniel."

"Hey, it was my first time! And I think I did a pretty good job, all things considered."

"I was not criticizing your work, merely stating a fact."

"Uh, my Lord?" The Corinthian said.

"I don't mean to alarm you, but Agony and Ecstasy are gone."

Sure enough, despite Dream having put them to sleep, both murderous gimps had vanished without a trace.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Daniel shook his head in disbelief.

"Interesting..." Dream mused. "It would take a considerable amount of power to recall them without my notice."

"Narrows down the suspect list, I'd imagine."

"Indeed. I suggest we return to the Dreaming for now, to formulate a plan of action."

"Sounds like a plan to me Dad."

"W-Wait! What about Robbie?"

Dream shook his head. "I can do no more for him, unfortunately."

"If its any consolation, he'll probably think this was all a dream." Daniel said.

"Hes holding my dead body!"

"... mostly a dream."

"Enough. It is time we leave. I trust you will be right behind me, Daniel?"

"Of course Dad."

"Good." Dream pulled a worn leather pouch from within his robes and opening it. "Corinthian, Matthew, with me."

"Of course, my lord."

"Sure boss."

Sand began to swirl about the three like a tornado, engulfing them completely until it stilled, revealing an empty space where they had been moments before.

Madison just stared. "... wow. That was... something."

"You get used to it." Daniel said, tilting his head away from his left shoulder.

Madison let out a caw and flapped her wings, steering herself towards Daniels open shoulder. "It's funny."

"What?" The young demi-Endless asked as she settled herself.

"I just remembered an old story I heard about a white raven." She said as he pulled out his own pouch.

"Apparently Raven was originally white and had a beautiful voice, but when the gods took fire away from mankind, he flew up to the sun with a twig in his beak to bring it back. His feathers were charred black and his throat was half cooked, but he returned to earth a hero."

"Well then," Daniel smirked as the sand began to swirl around them.

"Let's go steal fire from the gods."

#the sandman comics #the sandman

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luverofralts · 2 years ago

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Arkhelios University

Nathan surveyed the group of dancing couples and sighed. His mother was certainly dancing pretty close to Launce. The two of them looked like teenagers, twirling around on the dance floor like they were completely alone. Nathan averted his eyes when he saw Launce drop his hand far lower on his mother’s back than he was comfortable watching. He’d seen demons do unspeakable acts of violence, but somehow seeing his mother be groped by her boyfriend in the middle of their backyard was worse. If things kept up like this, he’d no doubt be forced to participate in another wedding sometime soon. After watching his mother heckle and bully his siblings about their own weddings and grades and salaries, Nathan couldn’t imagine how his mother would act as a bride herself.

That was one disaster he wanted no part of. He’d seen his parents’ wedding pictures and the immaculate bride she’d once been, glowering at all those who failed to produce the wedding of her dreams. His favourite photo in that old album was a snapshot of his mother tearing into her father for some reason while his own father tried to blend in with the curtains to avoid the scene. Nathan wasn’t sure why he was drawn to the image. He barely remembered what his father looked like and he had no memory whatsoever of his grandfather. It was comforting in a way to see what had come before him. It made him feel like he was a part of something greater, something eternal. Abraham Sr had come and gone, just as Abe Jr someday would too. What would the Helios family look like when Theo was his age? Would Nathan still be a part of it by then? Would he be running the family as heir with a little heir of his own?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Unlike his siblings, Nathan was going to graduate school without a kid of his own to slow him down. If he chose to graduate at all. Maybe one day, he’d just disappear from Arkhelios entirely. His mother could find a new heir to play along with the stupid games in Arkhelios and he could do...well, something. He’d come up with a plan later. The important thing was to remind himself not to get too attached to the people here. He’d almost certainly be much happier without them.

“What is Roman doing? He’s going to start rumours! I don’t think anyone here really knows who Claudia is, but if a picture managed to get out of her pressed against an engaged former lover in the middle of a party, I’ll be dead. My grandmother will murder me! I’m supposed to be watching her.”

“Former lover?” Abe repeated, processing the words carefully. Maura had rushed him onto the dance floor without a word, only to position herself directly behind her cousin and Roman. From the look on her face, Abe could see that she was just as impressed as he was about Roman dancing so close to an unmarried monarch. “Wait, so did they actually date? I thought he was just using her to make me jealous and she needed the publicity. You’re telling me that Roman was at one point positioned to become the prince consort of Pleasantview? Roman?”

Maura made a dismissive noise.

“Of course not,” she replied quickly. “If it was love between them maybe, but she moved on pretty quickly with a string of rich playboys and some kid she grew up with. She has a kid with one of them, god only knows who.”

Abe tried not to look jealous, but from the look Maura was giving him, he probably failed.

“And even if she loved your stupid fiance, I’d never let her get hurt the way Adrian did,” Maura continued, blame and anger written clearly across her face. “He tried so hard and lost so much all because of you and the hold you have on Roman. I’ve lost one cousin to Roman’s obsession with you; I won’t lose another. I won’t.”

Abe tried not to wither under the suddenly fierce look the princess was giving him.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he reassured her. “Roman’s going to be my problem permanently pretty soon, and I’ll be sure to steer him away from your cousin.”

While Maura angrily tried to spy on her cousin while dancing with Abe, someone else was entering the dance floor.

“I’m cutting in.”

One moment Claudia was holding tightly to Roman and the next she was on the ground, staring at the man who’d taken her place in Roman’s arms.

“Hey!”

“Hi Nathan. It’s so good to see that you have the same lack of boundaries as your sister. What do you want now?” Roman sighed.

Maura pounced on the opportunity to shoo her cousin off the dance floor, while Abe went to get a drink. If his brother was planning something nefarious, Abe knew that Roman could handle himself. At least the rich, beautiful woman was away from his fiance.

“Just saying hi,” Nathan answered, aggressively trying to take the lead in the dance. Roman countered his movements easily. “Is there something wrong with dancing with the father of my nephew?”

“If that’s what this is,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. “I’m not really sure what you seem to want from me these days.”

“Nothing important,” Nathan lied. He looked over at his fuming brother standing by the house. “Just making sure that marrying you is in his best interests. I wouldn’t want him to lose out on being the Helios heir after marrying someone he can’t divorce.”

Roman fought the urge to groan. Did Nathan overhear a conversation with Lucy or had she just started telling everyone in Arkhelios about the true nature of Abe’s upcoming wedding? In a place as small as Arkhelios, everyone knew each other’s business, and it drove Roman up the wall. It was okay to have Ulyssa gossip about her brother’s problems, but when it came to his and Abe’s private business, that was different.

“Yeah, this isn’t concern about your brother,” Roman sighed, lifting Nathan’s wandering hand back up to his hip. “You’ve apparently heard the news about us and you still think that your creepy flirting is going to get you somewhere with me? Abe and I are going to be linked forever. Not even the sovereign herself could break the bond we’ll have. Even when I was just holding his broken contract, I could feel the beating of his heart when I closed my eyes. The emotions he felt lingered in my own heart until they became one and the same.”

“You can’t possibly think that you can compete with that. You’re nothing, Nathan. Nothing at all.”

Nathan matched Roman’s steps as best as he could. He heard the familiar whine of his dog, Libby as she begged for his attention. Ulyssa had clearly cranked up the music, as all Nathan could hear was the pounding of the bass line in his ears. He closed his eyes and felt the ever present whisper of something unspeakably dark slither around inside his head.

“I’m better than Abe could ever be!” Nathan shouted, pinning Roman against the wedding arch to assert his dominance over the demon. “You can’t even understand what I can do! Everyone likes me better! I’m better than Abe. I’m more dangerous than Lucy. Even you can’t-”

“Oh my god, stop before you embarrass yourself. You’re a little too old to actually believe all this edgelord shit.”

With one smooth motion, Roman easily side stepped Nathan’s weak pin on him, and sent him flying towards the ground. Nathan sputtered angrily as Roman effortlessly pinned him to the ground, waiting for him to calm down.

“This isn’t who you are, Nathan. You’re not a demon, even if you were possessed by one. You were always the quiet, rational Chun sibling growing up; don’t let what my grandfather did change who you are. He’s out of the picture and you’re free. Don’t throw your life away because of past trauma. I’ve been there, and I’d hate for you to fall into that mess.”

Nathan scowled and started to protest against Roman’s condescending words. He wasn’t free from Dorhack. At this point, he would probably never be. Besides, he was dangerous and dark and edgy. Staying away from Cindra was his gift to her. Unlike Abe, he was protecting the ones he cared about from the darkness inside him.

“Roman? What’s going on?”

“We’re okay Elaine! Nathan just tripped! No one’s hurt!”

Roman motioned to his future mother in law that he was about to help her son stand up. As soon as her attention was off of them though, Roman changed from the worried, wise brother in law he’d just spent the better part of five minutes convincing Nathan he was. He pressed more of his weight into the knees that were holding most of Nathan down in the dirt.

“Whatever little game you’ve been playing ends now,” he hissed, his face suddenly switching to the monstrous visage Gareth had broken down trying to describe to Nathan. The cuddly, mature image Nathan saw his mother fall for again and again was gone. In its place was something dark and intense; a perfect mirror for the feelings that stirred inside the youngest Chun. This was what he’d been waiting to see. This was Kamalani’s son.

“You are never going to hit on me again, understand? Whatever little parlour tricks you think you can do are nothing compared with what I can do to you. I’m sure your little boyfriend told you what I did. I can do so much worse to you, believe me.”

Nathn tried to push Roman off of him, but the demon hybrid was stronger.

“If I see Abe hurt or embarrassed again by some stunt you pull, we will be revisiting this conversation,” Roman warned, his eyes looking black against the sunny sky. “I’ve been trained to deal with actual demonic threats to protect your brother. He is under my protection, and I’ve defended him from far greater threats than you.”

Roman shifted more of his weight against the potential threat to Abe’s happiness and Nathan fought hard not too wince.

“This isn’t even me trying, Nathan. Even if it was, believe me, this is nothing compared to what my son can do. Don’t piss me off, or I might just have him use you as target practice.”

Roman stood quickly, his face now returned to its usual cheerful state. He extended a hand towards Nathan to help him up, but Nathan angrily batted it away.

“Make sure you grab a piece of the cake before it’s gone,” Roman called out as he began innocently walking in the direction of his fiance. “I made it from scratch.”

#sims 2 #arkhelios university #arkhelios #roman bellamy #nathan chun #sim: Claudia Goldman #sim: Maura Siew #claudia goldman #maura siew

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daydream-disposal · 3 years ago

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Wormhole

Steve is laying on his bed wearing his pyjamas, his eyes droopy and his mind hazy with tiredness but still, he insists on texting his friends. A normal tuesday, it appears.

Until suddenly, a big blue ring light starts to shine out of nowhere in the middle of his room. Steve sits on the bed, eyes wide. Suddenly a person gets out from inside the light. A boy about his height, his big honey eyes hiding behind his dark hair that was covering almost all of his freckled face. He was wearing black pants, a white button up and a coat. He looked drenched but still, he looked very handsome.

Is Steve too sleep deprived? Is he dreaming? Is he imagining this? He doesn't know.

"Oh thank god, it's you" the boy holds Steve's shoulders and kisses his cheek quickly, dropping a little device on the bed beside him.

"Um. Hello? W-who are you?" Steve freezes, trying to understand what just happened. He's not imagining it then, since the kiss felt very real. He would've blushed if the situation wasn't really scary.

"What? It's me. I guess I might look a little different, I've been traveling around for a while. Ugh my clothes are gross. I'm just gonna change real quick, okay?" the guy rambles walking to Steve's closet and opening the door. He searches for something, getting all his clothes out of the way. Steve frowns. What the fuck is this dude doing?

"Did you move my stuff again?"

"I literally don't know what you're talking about." Steve slowly gets up and walks towards the door.

"C'mon Steve, stop messing around, they were right here" he half laughs and keeps searching. A shiver goes down Steve's spine. He knows his name. Is he a spy? An alien? Is he here to harm him? Steve grabs his bat carefully and places it on his neck.

"I'd appreciate if you stopped messing with my stuff and left. I don't know who you are and why you're here! Just leave me alone!" he says with a rough voice.

Eli turns to face Steve, ready to laugh and ask 'what is this, a prank?' but his smile drops as soon as he sees Steve with the bat and a serious expression.

"Steve, calm down! It's me, your best friend, Eli Pepperjack. Do you seriously not recognize me?"

"Wrong! My best friend is Jim Lake and everybody knows that. I've never seen you before in my life!"

Steve and Jim being best friends??? Something is definitely Not Right. Eli looks around in disbelief. Now that he notices, Steve looks... younger. The room looks different too. It's the same style, but the colors are all wrong. He peeks outside the window and the street is slightly different too. Oh my god.

Did he just travelled to a parallel universe? One that Steve doesn't know him? He knew the wormhole could do that, but only on command! How did it malfunctioned so badly??

Steve adjusts his hands on the bat, getting Eli out of his thoughts.

"Wait! Wait! I can explain! I can prove that I know you!"

Steve considers, still not moving from the position he's in. The boy seems scared but somehow his eyes are shining, inviting. Steve sighs.

"Ok. Go on." he raises an eyebrow, curiously.

"Your favorite color is blue. You favorite food is pancakes. You can't have spicy food. You had a crush on Claire Nunes"

"Those are really basic and you could easily be lying. Or spying on me! And everybody had a crush on Claire!" Steve shouts, losing his patience.

"Okay, look." Eli reaches for his back pocket, taking out his wallet and handing Steve a picture of them hugging and smiling, doing the Creepslayerz hand gesture to the camera.

"You like nerdy movies like Gun Robot and Earth Invaders in secret because you don't want people to know. You don't know basic math but that's alright because you're a really great actor and you're very good at sports. Sometimes you let your insecurities get to you and that's why you act like you're superior to everyone else. But you're actually a really nice person. You care a lot about people, so much that you saved my life a thousand times before. You're funny and brave and I love you for that" Eli blurted out without even thinking.

"Wow, okay, that's scary. How is all of this possible?" He puts the bat down and stares at the picture, not believing what he's seeing.

"It's possible because I was traveling through that thing" Eli points to the wormhole device on the bed. Steve reaches it and throws it his way.

"Thanks. It's a wormhole, it's extraterrestrial technology. I've been living in another planet but I try to visit as much as I can. It malfunctioned this time. I'm guessing I ended up in a parallel universe" Eli says matter of factly, clicking the device on his hand. A blue hologram appears in front of them. Steve doesn't recognize the language on it.

"Hold up, are you telling me I'm dating an alien?"

"I literally just told you I'm from another universe and you decided to focus on that?"

"Well yeah" he shrugged.

Eli sighed, smiling.

"No, I'm human. I'm Earth's ambassador on the planet Arkiridion-5."

"Ok but are we dating...?" Steve blushes at him.

"Yes. We are."

"Oh sweet! Point for the Palchuk!" He punched the air. Eli laughs through his nose, shaking his head but still focused on the device.

"Can I ask you some questions?"

"Yeah, go on"

"How did it happen... How did we even... do it?" Steven didn't know how to ask this, but as if he was reading his mind, the brown haired boy answered quickly.

"Well, when we started getting close people just assumed. But our families are okay with it, if that's what you're asking"

"Cool. Alright." Steve knew he was bi for a long time now. He was just afraid of telling his family and friends. What if they got disappointed? What if they couldn't love him? What if he was left behind?

"How will I know if they're like this here too?" Steve asked in a quiet voice after a few seconds of silence and just the bleeping of the device.

"I'm pretty sure they love you in every universe. I know I do." Eli sinceraly stated, not even looking up. Steve had a hard time believing someone cared about him and loved him enough to say something so soft like that. He looked at the picture on his hands again. They were sharing a smile so genuine, their eyes meeting in such a sweet way, like they meant the whole world to each other.

"And how did we meet?" he leaned on the closet, crossing his arms. Eli just kept clicking away.

"At school. We didn't like each other at first, but we figured it out" he exhaled. "Took a while, but we did."

"Why? What happened?"

Eli thought about the years his Steve used to be mean at him and shove him into lockers. It was sad, but he knew there was good in him. Maybe this Steve could do it differently.

"Just... be nice."

"I am nice!" Eli stopped what he was doing, raising an eyebrow on Steve's direction. "Alright, I'll be nicer."

"Good. What year is it?"

"2018"

"Woah, okay, I'm so far off." he clicked a few more times, the big blue ring light popping up in the middle of the room again.

"Wait, you're leaving already?"

"Yeah. My Steve is waiting for me at home."

"But I still have so many questions!"

"Don't worry, it's gonna be alright. Nice to meet you. I hope I see you soon." And with that, he disappeared with the light, leaving Steve alone in his room. He looks down to his hands, still holding the picture strongly. He smiles.

"I hope so too."

Steve didn't remember his name. He tried to think back but at the time he was panicking at the thought of "CUTE BOY IN MY ROOM!" and focusing too hard on the fact that said boy was from another universe. So of course his ADHD brain would forget his name.

But this didn't keep Steve from looking. He was never this excited to go to school before. He started paying more attention to his surroundings, hoping he would spot the mysterious boy somewhere.

Instead, he spotted a fight. "Just be nice" he thought. The older boys being mean to the smaller ones does seem like a good moment to be nice. Also, it was just not fair.

"Hey, why don't you pick someone your size?" Steve approached the bully, tapping him on the shoulder with his eyebrows pinched.

"Ugh. Why do you always have to ruin the party, Palchuk? You had potential but you insist on being on the wrong side" he tries to push Steve, asking for a fight. Steve scoffs and holds the boy's wrist.

"Just let them go. You know you can't win against me." The bully grunts and shakes his wrist from Steve's hold. He nods to his friends and they leave, muttering amongst themselves.

Steve turns to help the other boys out of the ground, offering a hand. The first boy refuses, getting up fast and running away. And that's when finally, Steve sees him. He looks smaller than the boy in his room, his hair is shorter and he was wearing nerdy glasses. But it was definitely him. He would recognize that smile and those eyes anywhere.

"Thanks. Steve, right?" the boy said, holding his hand and getting up. Steve was at a loss of words. He nodded, smiling.

"That was very nice of you. I'm Eli, by the way." he shook his hand. He was real and he was right here, holding hands with him. Ok, this is happening!

"Nice to meet you. That was no problem really, if you ever have any trouble with them again just tell me" Steve blunted out nervously, scratching his neck. Eli smiled, picking up his books and leaving.

"Again, Steve?" the teacher asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm starting to think you're not even trying. Go to detention!"

Steve sighs, walking with his head down in shame. But this time, when he enters the classroom he sees someone that make his eyes light up.

"Eli! Hi!" Steve sits on the table behind him, excited.

"Oh, hey Steve"

"What are you in here for?" he asks confused.

"I was breaking in. And you?" Eli says as if it's a normal occurrence.

"Woah what???"

"I was trying to study at the lab during recess."

"I didn't know that wasn't allowed"

"Well... I kinda was using their equipment to try and communicate with aliens... Which isn't allowed..." Eli says a little embarrassed.

"Oh" Steve laughs, finding the story very endearing. "So you like space, huh?"

"I do. Imagine if I got to do it. It would've been so cool!" he exclaims, and Steve has to hold back the urge to tell him about the parallel universe.

"It really would. Don't lose hope though" he winks at his direction.

Eli smiles and keeps working on his assignment.

"Y'know, I didn't expect you to be here. You're very... um... nerdy?" Steve admits after some minutes of silence.

"Oh so we're doing stereotypes? Alright, jock. Why are you here? Got into a fight?"

"What? No. I'm a nice person! I just didn't do my homework. Again."

"Because you didn't want to or...?" Eli asked confused, tilting his head. Steve had a genius idea. He felt like those cartoons when a little lamp lights up.

"I'm having a lot of trouble, actually. Are you any good with math?"

"Of course. Why?"

"What do you say you help me with homework and I help you by staying on look out when you're in the lab?"

Eli considered, as he heard the bell ring. He gathers his books and hands Steve a piece of paper before leaving.

"Sure. Text me later so we can talk about it"

"Sounds good" Steve smiled. If this went anything like he wanted to, he better start cleaning some space in his closet.

#hello! its me! again #just a silly little thing that came to me and i rolled with it lol #i kinda like it tho! enjoy!#steli #steve palchuk x eli pepperjack #creepslayerz #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #my writing

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tr4nsi3ntgh0ul · 3 years ago

Text

dream

I had a horrible dream last night. It started out as me being a young dark skinned boy, going tto meet my friend-as it was his birthday. The trip there was weird, everything looked weird and colorful. I went on a tram that had multiple levels, and looked like a casino from the inside. When i got there, i saw he lived in a tall building. There were three boys at home- my friend and two others. At first we got along well, but then the other boys started bullying me. I wasnt afraid of them, and i tried to intimidate them, but they grew more and more agressive. They started beating me up, really badly-i got scared and i (stabbed?) one of them. I cant remember more details. In my dream i got scared and ran away to the lift, but i heard the yelling of my friends mother- i broke something pricey, and she was furious, she was running after me with a shoe in her hand. She got into the lift with me and started beating me up. Again i was overpowered and beaten, but somehow i got ontop of her. As the lift descended, the doors suddenly opened, and her head got stuck between the floors-and she died. I killed another person. I was shaken after these things, and started going home-to my dorm. I was “myself” again-me being a woman. As i was walking home i saw a huge red field a few hundred meters away from the tall building of my dorm. It was a bright red and had a rubbery texture, a woman was walking around and putting up table tennis boards. The whole field was lit up by small garden lights. I went further to the building and saw a man dressed in a white suit that had silky white patterns on it. He was wearing a purple tie-or dress shirt . He looked very anxious, and asked me if i could help him. I listened to him. He told me he was about to meet his girlfriend, but he was scared she wouldnt like his outfit. I reassured him that he looked nice, and i would be happy to have a bf like him. I walked into the dorm building. It was a lot bigger then irl, and more colorful. It was really tall, and had a huge lift. I went into the lift, but instead of pushing the 6th floor button; i pushed the 10th floor. When i got out of the lift the hall was too narrow-it felt uncomfortable. It was also very colorful. There were three girls in traditional hungarian clothes dancing by me. They were only a flash of color. I looked the other way, and the corridor was long and dark-afar i could only see another girl in traditional clothes, but she looked creepy-like a bug (from mimic). I hurried into a room, and i found a friend from high school. She is usually a very strict and conservative, clean person; yet in my dreams she was dirty and creepy. Her room was a mess-she told me her bf broke up with her, and she tried keeping a pet cat in the dorm, but as it is illeagal, they took the cat away from her. i was very uncomfortable staying with her, and i tried to make her feel better, but i left with my old clothes she told me to take with me. While i was going to my room, i met some boys who are my bf’s friends. Together we enterred my room with the bags full of clothes. In the room was my “roommate”-a friend from university. He was watching something on his computer and he looked really serious. I went over to greet him, but when i looked at his screen, i saw that he was watching a weird medieval porno video. I tried to joke about it, but felt really weird, so i left with the other guys. We were walking down a wide street when i met my bf and his mother. We were all laughing and hangin out, when a weird scater came along. He was riding his board while being on his stomach, and he was pushing himself foward with his hands. I was really creeped out. My bfs mother wasnt angry, but she told him (and the other scaters around), to be more careful, cause they might run over a pedestrian accidentally. The situation grew more uneasy when people from both sides started shouting, clapping and booing at each other- while i was in the middle of it, quiet. The situation escalated, when we met a dark skinned woman on the street, who shouted something to my bfs mother. To this, my bf pushed the other woman to the floor and started shouting as well. I was very scared at this point. The womans husband came over nd threatened to beat us up, but somehow my bf made peace with him, while his mother was crying on my shoulder. After these events, i woke up

#baby witch #traditional witchcraft #witchcraft #witchblr #help #dream #lucid dreaming #dreams

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moon-stars01 · 4 years ago

Text

~Sugar Rush~

Hoshi x Reader

Author:pseudomint

Summary: Kwon soonyoung finds himself becoming a regular customer in a local ice cream shop after meeting mingyu’s cute co-worker. Sounds normal—unless you leave out the fact that he dislikes sweets.

Pairing:Hoshi(Svt) x reader

Gene:Collage/University,Ice Cream polar,attempt at humor,flirting,Smitten Hoshi,Mingyu third wheeling,Jun and his pick up lines

Rating:Teen and Up Audiences

Word Count:6100

———————-

~SUGAR RUSH~

Hoshi stares at the cute, pastel building, decorated with stickers of ice cream illustrations on the big, glass windows and door. He checks his phone screen once again, only to see the exact picture of the building he found on the internet glaring back at him mockingly.

This is the place. He finally knows where Mingyu’s secret workplace is. Don’t ask him where he got the address from (he might have.. owed a certain pink haired devil named Jeonghan). All he has to do now is to storm inside the ice cream shop and make fun of Mingyu for all it’s worth.

Being friends with that guy for a long time, Hoshi has a vague idea of why would Mingyu hide his workplace. The guy has always been vocal about his worship for anything hip-related, evident by his love for classic Pop, several ear piercings, and fashion style. He’s studying art so that he can become a tattoo artist. Moreover, he has a history as a delinquent back in middle school.

So, working in a local, cute ice cream shop near their campus might not be included in Mingyu’s list of Top 10 Dream Jobs, even as a part-timer.

Hoshi stifles a grin as he pushes the door open, earning a chime from the bell above. The shop is quite vacant, save for three customers, minding their own businesses in three different seats, the ice cream on their plates or cups half-eaten. One of them is bobbing their head to the popular pop song that is heard through the wall speakers. As Hoshi continues to scan the pastel themed shop, his eyes finally land on the glass display, filled with various flavors and colors of ice cream.Hoshi can already feel a toothache—he’s never been a fan of sweets, after all.

Noticing the absence of the employees behind the counters, Hoshi spots a bell placed beside the cash register. His hand hovers above it, uncertain whether calling the shop clerk with a damn bell is even polite—obviously, this isn’t some kind of five-star gourmet restaurant. Not that Hoshi has ever been into one.

Thankfully, before Hoshi could dive further into his impromptu crisis, an employee emerges from the back door. He’s wearing a pastel blue uniform shirt and a pink apron with the shop’s logo on the left side of his chest. Such soft colors, contrast with the dark scowl on his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here, bastard?” Mingyu snarls, clearly aggravated by the mere of Hoshi’s presence alone.

And Hoshi can’t hold it back anymore. He laughs, folding his body in half, one hand clutching his gut as the other supports himself by gripping the counter. Fuck, this is funnier than he initially thought. No matter how he imagined it, the image of Mingyu and a cute ice cream shop just can’t be merged. Yet, here he is—the reality presented right before Hoshi’s eyes.Hoshi wheezes again.

“Stop fucking laughing,” Mingyu hisses, hands clenching on both of his sides. His face is flushed from anger with a mixture of embarassment. “This is why I’d never fucking tell you about this place!”

“Oh, it’s never about the place, ‘Mingyu,”Hoshi replies, wiping a tear from the corner of his eyes. “It’s always been about you.”

Mingyu growls. “I’m seriously gonna kick you out.”

“I’m a paying customer,” Hoshi smirks back. “Treat me like one.”

“Then act like one,” Mingyu snaps, folding his arms across his chest, frown deepening. “Though I bet you can’t even handle the sweetness.”“Gimme the menu.”

“There’s one behind me, written on the chalkboard, asshole.”

“Wow, brilliant customer service,” Hoshi deadpans. “Don’t you have the printed one or something?”

“Aren’t you spoiled?” the hipster grumbles as he magically pulls out a menu, printed on a laminated paper from behind the counter. He doesn’t miss the opportunity to slap it against Hoshi’s chest.The act, however, is caught by one of Mingyu’s co-worker who’s suddenly coming out of the back room.

“Mingyu-oppa! Why did you do that to a customer?!” She screeches, horrified at her oppa’s rude behavior. She’s way shorter than Mingyu, and shorter than Kazuya. She has a (h/s) (h/c) hair that somehow looks soft and fluffy as the strands bounce everytime she moves.When their eyes finally meet,Hoshi’s lost the ability to speak.

Now, Hoshi’s never been one to believe in love at first sight, albeit having heard the idea of it in many sappy romance films. Hoshi’s also met many girls he considers as good-looking, but that’s it. There were no imaginary flowers or love-shaped bubbles or sprinkles of glitters around them, like a typical page of shoujo mangas. He didn’t feel his heart pounding harshly against his ribcages. He’s positive that he had never blushed at someone without any good reason.But his cheeks have never felt warmer than this moment.

The girl in front of him is unbelievably cute; she has an air of innocence around her that makes Hoshi want to scoop her up (no ice cream puns intended) in his arms and pinch those slightly chubby, round cheeks. Her cute button nose is perfect for a nose boop, and oh, how Hoshi wishes to nip her pink, plump lips.The girl’s tongue darts out to lick the very same lips, before she opens her mouth.

“Um.. are you okay? Is my co-worker hurting you?” She asks, brows furrowing in worry. Hoshi forces himself to look at her in the eyes, which is apparently a bad decision, because for the love of baseball, he’s never seen someone having such beautiful, molten e/c eyes—

“He’s fine,” Mingyu answers, shooting Hoshi a knowing look. “Sadly, I gotta admit that he’s a friend of mine, so don’t worry about him, y/n.”

“Oh!” Y/n brightens up, giving Hoshi an impression of a cute dog perking up its ears and wagging its tail. “Finally this l/n y/n gets to meet one of Mingyu-oppa’s friends!” She says joyfully with a voice a bit too loud. “May I also have the honor of knowing your name?”

Hoshi briefly glances at Mingyu, as if asking whether he should be concerned of Y/n’s odd, archaic way of speaking, but Mingyu’s expression works as a wordless assurance that it’s nothing to be worried about.Then, after eyeing Y/n’s extended arm as an offer for a handshake, Hoshi takes it firmly with a smirk.

“The name’s Kwon Soonyoung but you can call me Hoshi,” he purrs, his thumb tracing a circle on the back of Y/n’s hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you, Y/n.”His smirk broadens when a blush blooms on the girl’s cheeks.

“Uh—likewise!” Y/n retracts her hand too quickly. “Um, I’ll let you proceed with your order with Mingyu-oppa—“

“The thing is,” Hoshi cuts her off, leaning on the counter, showing a feigned, saddest expression on his face. “Mingyu was bullying me,” he sighs. The said guy promptly sputters a series of denials. “And this is my first time here. I think I deserve a discount for the bad customer service, don’t you think?”

Y/n lets out a scandalized gasp, giving Mingyu a nasty, chiding glare for treating their customer poorly, even if they’re ‘friends.’ “Then you have my approval!” She declares, jabbing a proud thumb at her own chin. “Don’t worry! I’ll tell boss about the discount later! Now, please pick any flavors!”Hoshi’s mouth twitches as a bubble of laughter arises from his chest. This kid is so gullible, so genuine, so interesting. He almost feels bad for tricking him.Mingyu kicks Y/n’s legs, “Idiot! Can’t you see that he’s tricking you?!”

When y/n shoots a puzzled look at Hoshi, Hoshi’s laughter breaks free from his mouth. In return, he gets a bristling y/n who goes out of her way to be on the other side of the counter just to shake Hoshi’s collar and send him colorful insults. Not the most professional thing an employee should do to a customer, but it’s worth for Hoshi’s own entertainment.In the end, Hoshi’s the one who gets kicked out of the shop before he causes more commotions.

Hoshi comes back at Mingyu’s next shift, mentally convincing himself that he’s here to annoy the hell out of the hipster, not because Mingyu accidentally reveals the fact that y/n has the same schedule with him.Yeah, right.

He peeks over the big windows, and hesitates. The shop is more crowded than his last visit, as expected from weekends. It’s mostly filled with couples and giggling high school girls. Hoshi decides to sit on the unoccupied outdoor seats by the window, waiting for the beeline to lessen.

Fortunately, it doesn’t take long for the patrons to decrease. By the time he enters the shop, the jingle of the doorbell earns him an automatic response from y/n who’s not even looking at the door. “Welcome to—“ she glances at Hoshi, then frowns. “—oh, it’s you.”

“Oh? Do I see another bad customer service?” Hoshi smirks, strutting closer the counter.

“I’ll show you customer service,” Mingyu threatens, glowering at him.

Hoshi holds up his hands in defense, grinning, “easy there, ‘Mingyu”

“So, are you going to order, Kwon Soonyoung?” Y/n squints at him in suspicion. Pushing aside his inner glee of noticing a mundane detail such as Y/n remembering his full name, Hoshi ponders of giving her an honest reply or not. Will they kick him out once again if he admits that he can barely handle sweet things?

“Hoshi?” Y/n’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, and his previous scorn is replaced with an owlish blinking. It makes Kazuya more aware of how y/n’s long eyelashes brush her cheeks whenever she closes her eyelids for a brief second.Pretty.“Hoshi!”Hoshi coughs and answers distractedly. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll order something.”

Mingyu stares at him like he’s grown a pair of horns, but it’s more like that he can’t seem to grasp that Hoshi, of all people, agrees to order something sweet.

“You sound uncertain, but worry not! The ice cream here will change your mind,” Y/n chirps with an eye smile. Hoshi can feel a thousand of cupid arrows piercing through his fragile, gay heart.

“Right, because Hoshi absolutely loves ice cream,” Mingyu mutters under his breath beside his co-worker with a blatant sarcastic tone.Y/n doesn’t seem to hear it, much to Hoshi’s relief.

“So...” Hoshi drawls, scrutinizing the menu near the cash register. “Do you have a flavor that isn’t too...” he grimaces at the next word, “sweet?”

“That’s impossible, go home.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Mingyu.”

“I can recommend you some,” Y/n replies, ignoring Mingyu and Hoshi’s glaring contest. “We have wasabi flavor, bitter melon flavor—“

“Some extreme recommendations you have there,” Hoshi sweatdrops.

“Hey! They taste fine, I guess,” Y/n looks hesitant herself. Hoshi wonders if the girl even understands basic marketing strategies—she could’ve at least pretended to be confident with her promotion. “I mean, I’m sure they’re better than natto flavored ice cream or anything.”

“You hate natto?” Hoshi smiles in amusement, inwardly happy to know one fact about Y/n.

“I despise it!” Y/n huffs, not even bothering to conceal her disgust. “Anyway! If you’re not interested with our out-of-the-world flavors, maybe you’d love our triple shot espresso ice cream! If you’re still not convinced, we still have a variety of diet frozen yogurts that are guaranteed to be low-sugar!”Hoshi hums at the mention of anything caffeine-related, “triple shot espresso ice cream doesn’t sound bad. Get me the smallest cup, y/n.”

“Roger!” Y/n beams, giving a military salute before she busies herself with Hoshi’s order. Her moves behind the counter are swift, practiced, and surprisingly not clumsy. Her hips sway a little to the beat of the music—whose great idea it is to play a suggestive jazz music at a fucking ice cream shop in Saturday afternoon?—but Hoshi’s not really complaining. In fact, he enjoys the show a bit too much; he doesn’t even realize that he’s been propping one arm on the counter to support his chin while watching y/n with a mushy smile.“Wipe that disgusting expression off your face,” Mingyu comments, unimpressed.“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah? As if I could overlook someone who looks like they’re seconds away from jumping my co-worker in public!” Mingyu hisses this time, still considerate enough to lower his volume.“Don’t worry, I’ll do that in private,” Hoshi winks.

“That’s not what I—“

“Do you want any additional toppings, Hoshi?” Y/n unintentionally interrupts their bickering. She’s now holding a small paper cup of a coffee-colored ice cream, head slightly to the side in an adorable manner, waiting for Hoshi’s response.

Although Hoshi’s brain is already short-circuited due to the amount of metaphorical sweetness that Y/n radiates, he still manages to croak out a reply of “almonds are fine”, in hoping that if the ice cream is still too sweet for his liking, the almonds would be able to balance the sugar.

Mingyu handles the payment without initiating any arguments with Hoshi for once, probably wanting to speed up the process of Hoshi leaving the shop. Either way, Hoshi has to leave indeed. He has other things to do, too.

“Thank you for purchasing, please come again~” come a chorus of synchronized phrase from Mingyu and Y/n; the former sounding bored and forced, while the latter sounding more cheerful.“I will,” Hoshi retorts jocosely, then flicks his gaze over Y/n, “if Y/n calls me her oppa, too.”

“Okay, Hoshi-oppa,” y/n breathes out without missing a beat. Her face instantly bursts into a myriad shades of red, complemented by a small, shy smile etched on her lips, and-Hoshi suddenly thinks he has a severe case of heart palpitations.

He inhales sharply, and turns his heels towards the door. “It’s decided, then,” he chuckles over his shoulder, giving his last smirk towards y/n, and exits the shop.

(He eats his ice cream on the way to his apartment and is genuinely surprised at the rich taste of coffee instead of sugar.It adds one more reason to visit the shop again.)

Hoshi’s next visit includes an unwanted guest, much to Hoshi’s distaste.

For a better term, he was following Hoshi in secret. Usually, Hoshi would easily sense something behind his back, but the particular street that the ice cream shop is located at is always busy. It’s to be expected from a street that connects commercial, academic and several residential buildings. That being said, the crowd of people makes it hard for Hoshi to notice whether someone is following him or not.In the end, Jun makes his presence known loudly by the time he enters the shop.

“Oi, Hoshi! You refused to hang out with me just to buy some ice cream?!” he stomps his foot on the ground. “Wait, I thought you don’t like ice—“

Hoshi, who’s currently leaning on the counter right in front of Y/n, automatically massages the bridge of his nose and quickly interjects the purple haired before he spouts something unnecessary. “Jun, did you really follow me all the way here?”

“Does it matter?” the purple haired shrugs, sticking his nose up in the air. “I’m here now. That’s what you get from ditching me.”

Hoshi sighs in exasperation, “I did not ditch you. I told you to reschedule our hang out.”

“Same thing,” Jun scoffs stubbornly.

Mingyu bashes his forehead on the counter, emitting a depressed aura all over the shop. “Great. There goes all of my peace at work.”

“Oh, Mingyu! Fancy meeting you here!” Jun greets with a grin. “So you’re the reason why Hoshi’s here?”

“No,” both Mingyu and Hoshi say flatly.

“Um, are you going to order?” Y/n, who’s been observing the situation, speaks up, attracting a pair of black orbs towards him. Then, Jun regards Hoshi and Y/n, back and forth, in a thoughtful manner.

“Oh ho? I see now,” he grins wickedly, elbowing Hoshi to the side and takes over his place, resulting in the dancer stumbling and hitting the glass display of ice cream. Paying no attention to Hoshi’s heated glare, Jun leans over the counter and brings his face closer to Y/n. “You’re pretty cute, I guess. Hoshi has a good taste.”Y/n makes a choking noise from her throat, and Hoshi’s left eye twitches.

“Who the heck are you?” Y/n scrunches her nose, taking one step backwards defensively.

“Wen Junhui, but you can call me darling,” Jun smiles flirtatiously. Y/n only stares back with a palpable discomfort on her face.

“...Then, are you going to order?” She repeats hesitantly.

“Sure. As long as you’re included as the bonus.”

“Uh,” y/n frowns deeper. “May I know the flavor of your choice?”

“Anything would do,” Jun answers, “but if you were an ice cream, you’d be my favorite flavor.”

“What?”

“And I know you’d like me too,” jun then lowers his voice into a whisper, like he’s going to tell the world’s deepest secret, “because I have an 8” popsicle down there.”

Mingyu’s shoulders are shaking from laughter, finding the whole situation amusing and ridiculous. Any other day, Hoshi would, too, but right now, he only feels a second-hand embarassment from Jun’s abhorrent pick-up lines. Even y/n looks utterly unimpressed by Jun’s flirting.

“Alright, Jun, that’s enough,” Hoshi interjects impatiently. “No one wants to know about your nonexistent 8” popsicle dick.”Mingyu laughs louder.

“Tch, you’re no fun, Hoshi,” Jun glares at him childishly, then whirls his body towards Y/n crossing his arms in his usual bossy manner. “Fine, I’ll order something. Get me a big cup of butterscotch and vanilla ice cream with marshmallows and oreos on top.”

“...Coming right up,” slightly taken aback by the change of attitude, y/n mutters and wordlessly scoops the ice cream into the cup, while Hoshi is inwardly cringing from the amount of sugar Jun’s order has.

The purple haired pays and finally leaves the shop, not before gesturing a V-sign to his eyes and then to Hoshi’s—indicating that their conversation isn’t over.

Hoshi shakes his head. “There’s nothing to be discussed in the first place,” he mumbles under his breath. Jun dragged himself into this situation. Then again, Hoshi’s known Jun long enough to tell that the purple haired wasn’t seriously flirting with Y/n. The dancer could properly make his fangirls swoon if he wanted to.

Looking back to his prior act, however... it’s almost as if he was testing Hoshi, because his eyes were holding a familiar knowing gleam—the exact glint in Mingyu ’s eyes when Hoshi first met y/n.

“But seriously, who is he?!” Y/n fumes. “I can’t believe he made a dick joke straight to my face!”

“He’s Hoshi’s ex,” Mingyu grins, nudging

y/n with his elbow. The younger blanches, mouth gaping upon hearing the information.

“Yup, and I’m totally dating you, Mingyu,” Hoshi rolls his eyes.

“R-really?!” Y/n’s eyes grow as wide as a saucer. Hoshi bites back a grin, almost forgetting how gullible Y/n is.

“Relax, we’re lying,” he snorts. “Can I take my order now?”

“Oh, right!” Y/n straightens her back, although she doesn’t seem to be convinced by Hoshi’s reassurance.

Hoshi selects the exact menu he ordered on his last visit, although this time he chooses a cone rather than a paper cup. He also makes a mental note to try another variety of topping next time.

“You two looks close,” y/n comments all of a sudden as she works behind the counter. It doesn’t take a genius to know who Y/n is talking about.“Jun’s my childhood friend,” Hoshi

smiles, quirking an eyebrow at Y/n’s pout. She’s sulking, for some unknown reason, albeit Hoshi has a silly, vague (and hopeful) idea of it. “Rest assured, there’s nothing between us,” Hoshi continues, watching how Y/n subtly relaxes her shoulders. “That goes for me and Mingyu, too,” she adds as an afterthought. Mingyu has never nodded so aggresively.

“That explains why you guys are on a first name basis,” Y/n says abashedly, avoiding Hoshi’s gaze. “B-but! Your relationship is none of my business, of course! This

l/n y/n was just curious, please forgive me for prying!”

Still blushing, she shoves the cone under Hoshi’s nose. Hoshi chuckles and takes it, purposely brushing their fingers together, deepening y/n’s blush. Satisfaction sprouts inside his chest—even without any cheesy pick-up lines, y/n’s naturally a blushing mess around him.Adorable.

“This is sickening to watch,” Mingyu groans, “now pay up, bastard.”

Out of reflex, Hoshi gives him another snide remarks about bad customer service (again), to which Mingyu retaliates with another empty threats.

The doorbell jingles as two chatting customers enter the shop, and at the same time, it’s Hoshi’s cue to leave. He looks back at Y/n, who’s unexpectedly staring at him in silence, and grins cheekily when Y/n flinches due to being caught.“See you next time,” Hoshi says in soft tone, before he playfully boops y/n’s on the nose.

Y/n doesn’t—can’t—reply because she has to serve the next customers, but she manages to send a meek smile towards Hoshi’s direction.

Fuck, Hoshi thinks later, as he ambles back to his place. He can’t believe he finally had the balls to nose boop y/n. He can’t erase y/n’s blushing face from his mind. He can’t stop smiling giddily right now—passersby are probably whispering about him, but he couldn’t care less.All he cares is that he’s honestly in some deep shit.

~~~~~~

Hoshi spends the next few weeks coming to the ice cream shop. He sometimes misses a day or two, partially due to being exhausted by dancing practice or just college in general. Another reason is because he’s fed up with eating ice cream (no matter how much he’s come to tolerate it a little ever since coming to the shop) and his diet as an athlete doesn’t allow him to overeat anything sweet. Which is ridiculous, since he doesn’t have other excuses to see Y/n; visiting the shop frequently without buying anything would be weird. Though, as days go by, he becomes more creative with his orders, like switching to low-sugar frozen yogurts or an iced Americano float (with the float being removed, much to Y/n’s confusion). Soon, he also finds out the existence of food—such as toasts and grilled sausages—in the shop’s menu.(“You need to stop ogling at Y/n and pay attention to our menu instead,” Mingyu once chastised wryly.)

Regardless, Hoshi enjoys most of his visits. Y/n is a fun person to talk to; Hoshi is often swayed by her personality and ends up being more talkative than he actually is, earning a frown from Mingyu. Later, Y/n reveals that she’s a dancer at Hoshi and Mingyu’s rival college, and she has jokingly asked Hoshi several times to dance against her.Hoshi’s never given an outright answer, however. As much as he wants to meet up with Y/n outside of the shop, he wants it as a date.

And that’s where the problem lies. He doesn’t know how to properly bring it up. He could ask Y/n in the shop, right beside Mingyu, but getting rejected in public would be awkward. In the end, that thought is always buried to the back of his mind.

Today is no different. Hoshi visits the the shop again—after being absent for a week prior—with no intentions of bringing up the date. As usual, he only wants to see the dancer. Even before stepping his feet inside, his heart thumps in anticipation to Y/n’s welcoming smile. So, as soon as he pushes the door open only to notice the absence of one of the workers behind the counters, his face falls.

“Asshole, I should’ve gotten offended of how disappointed your face is when you saw me instead of Y/n,” Mingyu scowls, to which Hoshi grins sheepishly. “She’s gonna be late today. I know what you’re thinking—she’s fine. There aren’t any dangerous emergencies or something like that, calm down.”

“I am calm,” Hoshi replies, burying his hands into his pockets. “I know she’s gonna be fine. She has such a caring co-worker after all,” he smirks at Kuramochi, who huffs in slight embarassment.

“Shut up. Who knows what stupid thing she’s gonna do,” the hipster’s lips curl downwards, an attempt to hold back his smile. “Anyway, since she’s not here yet, I can finally interrogate you.”

“What is there to interrogate?”

“What is y/n to you?” Mingyu ignores his words, giving him a pointed look instead. “If you’re only playing with her, Hoshi, I swear – “

“Oi, can’t you trust me a little?” Hoshi sweatdrops. “Do I look like some kind of heartthrob? You know me better than that, ‘Mingyu.”

“With your face, it’s easy to become one.”

“Very flattering.”

“Anyway, I’m being fucking serious right now,” Mingyu glowers at the dancer solemnly. “Tell me what you want from her.”

Hoshi eventually sighs, and briefly scans the whole shop. Luckily, it’s one of the weekdays, so there aren’t many customers inside. Besides, they’re too engrossed in their conversations or electronical devices to eavesdrop on Hoshi and Mingyu.

“Look, I don’t want anything from her,” Hoshi begins slowly, but he’s only rewarded with a skeptical look from Mingyu. “Okay, maybe I’ve been meaning to ask her on a date, but—“ he narrows his eyes at the hipster. “Wait, she’s single, right?”

“Isn’t it a bit too late to be asking that?” Mingyu purses his lips into a thin line.

“Oh, Hoshi, you’re here!”

Both the hipster and the dancer whip their head alarmingly to the familiar voice. There stands y/n with her trademark grin, her bag slung around her shoulder. Panic blossoms inside of Hoshi’s chest—he didn’t hear the jingle of the doorbell, and judging from Mingyu’s startled response, he didn’t, too. They don’t know how long has the dancer been standing there. It’d be bad if Y/n managed to hear their conversation.

So, Hoshi studies y/n’s facial expression, searching for something, but the dancer only looks perplexed—probably due to Hoshi’s sudden stillness.

“Hoshi?” Y/n blinks up at him, making Hoshi more conscious of their height difference. Eyes trailing down to her neck, the pastel-colored collar of the shop’s uniform peeks out of her oversized sweater that falls until her mid-thigh, with the sleeves covering up her whole hands.

Sweater paws, Hoshi’s mind shuts down as tiny Hoshi’s inside his brain run in circles, screaming “ABORT! ABORT!” with high-pitched voices. She’s fucking wearing sweater paws.

“Hoshi-oppa!” Y/n frowns, successfully drawing Hoshi’s attention. “Don’t zone out like that, you’re scaring me.”

“Right, sorry,” the dancer mutters as he watches Y/n disappearing into the back room, before she shows up again without her sweater while tying the apron on her lower back.

“I see that you haven’t ordered something!” Y/n grins brightly, this time placing both of her hands on her hips. “So, what are you here for today, Hoshi?”

Hoshi, still distracted, racks his brain to all of the menu he’s ordered in the past. Triple shots espresso ice cream with almonds. Iced americano float, but without the float. Wasabi ice cream because he was feeling adventurous. Hazelnut spread and sliced banana on toast—

No, that’s not What hoshi wants all of this time. He wants—

“You,” he blurts out, mumbling, unaware of Mingyu choking in the background. However, when he notices the lack of response from the dancer, the haze in his brain suddenly dissipates, and everything becomes crystal clear again. “Shit, I mean—“

“Okay,” Y/n says, e/c orbs shyly peeking from underneath her lashes towards Hoshi.

“I was—huh, what?” Hoshi pauses, dumbfounded.

“I said okay,” Y/n averts her eyes, playing with the hem of her apron. “You can have me.”

Hoshi stares and stares, trying to process Y/n’s affirmation. That sounds too suggestive—too good to be true. Maybe his brain is tricking him. Maybe this is only a scene that he unconsciously creates inside his mind which is brought to life in a form of hallucination.

But when Y/n starts to fidget under his gaze, Hoshi lets his brain register the fact that this is, indeed, a reality.

As the gears inside him begin to work again, Hoshi doesn’t pass the chance to poke some fun at Y/n’s answer which basically serves as a free teasing material for Hoshi to use.

“Oh? How bold,” he then comments, smirking in satisfaction as he observes how realization gradually dawns on Y/n’s face.

“I didn’t mean to phrase it like that!” the dancer exclaims defensively, her cheeks now tainted with red. “Y-you were the one who blurted out weird things in the first place!”

“Sorry, sorry~” Hoshi grins unapologetically, to which Y/n pouts at. “But, as tempting as it sounds, you should let me take you on a date first, y’know,” he continues, his playful grin faltering a little due to slight nervousness.

To his relief, Y/n utters a timid “okay” and nods, a tint of pink still decorating her cheeks. At that, Hoshi doesn’t bother to hide the ever-growing smile on his lips and an excited glance to Mingyu who’s pretending to read a magazine and acting all disinterested, albeit the small curl on the corner of his mouth tells otherwise.

The next thing Hoshi knows is him exchanging phone numbers with the dancer and discussing their date in a short stretch of time due to the arrival of a group of customers.

Hoshi doesn’t get any ice cream that day, but he does get something—someone—sweeter in return.

~Three months later~

Hoshi sips on his hot, black coffee, the steam fogging up the lenses of his glasses. He steps aside when a patron comes out of the shop hurriedly, but he manages to halt the door from closing with his right knee. Hoshi then opens the door big enough for his body to get inside as the familiar chime of the doorbell greets his ears. The shop is silent, empty without customers, highly caused by the “CLOSED” sign on the door with a red, thick font.“I’m sorry, we’re already closed—“ Y/n says from Hoshi’s left side while stacking some brochures. When she finally turns her head towards the door, a beatific smile appears on her face. “Oh! Hoshi.”

Hoshi smiles back, placing his coffee on the counter and leans towards Y/n, to which the latter eagerly closes the gap between their mouths. They share a quick kiss as a greeting, before Hoshi withdraws slightly.

“Hey,” he murmurs, lips brushing over

y/n’s. He steals one or two more kisses, just because he can’t help himself.

“Hi to you too,” Y/n whispers, giggling. Hoshi cradles his lover’s cheeks with one of his palms, prompting Y/n to nuzzle against it. From here, he can also make out Y/n’s e/c eyes twinkling in delight—so captivating and blinding that it stupefies him.

“For someone who’s on her last day of work, you sure look happy,” Hoshi comments, arching an amused brow.

“I am happy!” Y/n replies, pulling away fully to finish her tidying duty. She moves swiftly behind the counters, the sole of her shoes creating noisy sounds against the tiled floor. “But not in a way you’re thinking.”

“Enlighten me, then,” Hoshi says, bringing the paper cup of his half-drunk coffee to his mouth and takes a sip.

“I like this job,” Y/n confesses, finishing her work and untying her apron. “My co-workers are nice, and my boss is generous to give me discounted ice cream.”

“I think the latter plays a bigger part,” Hoshi teases, knowing Y/n’s sweet tooth.

“Shut up,” the dancer juts her tongue out. “Meeting you here is what makes this job more special,” Y/n casually states, offering a smug smirk at Hoshi’s flabbergasted expression.

“Wow, Y/n,” he breathes out, before whistling with a shake of head. “You sure become bolder with your words nowadays.”

“Wh-what’s that supposed to mean?!”Y/n questions, pupils turning cat-like.Hoshi hums. “Well, you used to blush so much around me—“

“That’s – “ as if on cue, red creeps up to y/n’s cheek. “That’s because you always gave me those kind of eyes and used that kind of voice—!”

“What about now?”hoshi smirks, revelling in the way Y/n gets all worked up because of him. A nasty personality he has, indeed.

“Ugh, I’m not gonna talk about it!” the dancer scrunches her nose, a habit that Hoshi’s taken to notice whenever Y/n is frustrated. “Anyway! I was talking why I feel happy to quit work! It’s because I can spend more time with you now!”If Hoshi’s heart pulsates rapidly due to the abrupt swarm of affections in his veins, he does a great job of hiding it. “The real reason why you quit is because of the upcoming dancer season. We’d still be busy, either way,” he points out instead.

“Must you be so pessimistic, Hoshi?” Y/n pouts, looking a little dejected. Hoshi exhales guiltily.

“My bad,” he chuckles, ruffling the crown of Y/n’s head. “You know that I’d always try to make time for you, right, Y/n?”

“Of course you do, you whipped asshole. Only you would come to a shop that sells something you dislike.”

“Mingyu-oppa!” Y/n jumps due to

Mingyu’s unannounced appearance from the back room, before gawking at his revelation. “Wait, what? Does Hoshi not like ice cream?”

“Ask him yourself,” Mingyu shrugs.

Y/n immediately whirls towards Hoshi, displaying her best puppy face to lure the truth out of her boyfriend. And concede Hoshi does, not before shooting daggers at a snickering Mingyu.

“Yes, y/n, I don’t eat much sweets. You happy now?” he admits reluctantly, tugging the collar of his jacket in embarassment.

“Oh my god, Hoshi!” Sawamura bounces on her feet. “After all of this time, you didn’t come here for the ice cream?!”

Hoshi sighs, not before downing the remnant of his coffee and throwing it in the nearest trash bin. “I don’t see what the issue is. It’s not like I exactly loathe ice cream, I just can’t handle it if it’s too sweet—“Y/n, however, wastes no time to approach Hoshi on the other side of the counter, circling her arms around Hoshi’s neck and kisses him hard on the mouth.

The hipster groans in agony, covering his face with his right palm. “This isn’t the outcome that I wanted,” he bemoans, lamenting in his misery.

Hoshi laughs nasally, eyes closing in pure mirth as Y/n continues to pepper kisses on his face. It eggs Mingyu even more as he seethes in irritation.“Okay, stop it, Y/n! Why the fuck are you so pleased at the idea of Hoshi trying to get himself diabetes for you?”

“Oi, that’s too exaggerating, don’t you think?” Hoshi sweatdrops.

Y/n ends her ministration and frowns at Mingyu. “But Mingyu-oppa! If I were in Hoshi’s shoes, I’d do the same! But currently he’s not working in a natto-based restaurant or something, so I shall reward his bravery in some other way!”

“Don’t do it here,” Mingyu snaps, “I’ve cleaned and locked all shit in the back room while you were busy with that idiot. Grab your bag and sweater and just go home.”Teary-eyed, Y/n beams brightly, “I express my sincerest gratitude for you,

Mingyu-oppa!” She exclaims, before dashing to the back room to collect her belongings.“Yeah, yeah,” Mingyu waves her off, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t read too much into it. It’s my last day too, figures I’d do more than usual.”

“Aw, it wouldn’t hurt to admit that you care for her, ‘Mingyu,” Hoshi coos.

“And you!” Mingyu then throws the dancer a resentful look. “You owe me for all of the time you’ve made me into a fucking thirdwheel, bastard!”

At that moment, Y/n has come back, already clad in her warm, oversized sweater, and proceeds to stand next to Hoshi. That’s when an idea strikes him.

“Thirdwheel?” Hoshi asks, tilting his head at Mingyu in a faux innocuousness. He pulls his unsuspecting girlfriend closer by the waist, to which Y/n lets out a soft gasp. “Whatever do you mean by that, Mingyu?”

“Huh?” Mingyu croaks out, widening his eyes when Hoshi lowers his head to Y/n’s face with a shit-eating grin.

“What are you – shit, don’t you two dare making out again – give me a damn break, I’m trying to close the shop here! If you two don’t stop right now, I’m gonna kick out both of you with a fucking broom – oi, did you hear me?! Alright, for fuck’s sake, Y/n, save the moan for later and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE—“

#hoshi-x-reader #hoshi #kpop #seventeen #stories #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #hoshi fanfic #kwon soonyoung

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embeanwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Finding Home (Gavin Reed x Reader)

Chapter One

I couldn’t believe I was back in Detroit. I honestly never planned on coming back after everything that had happened between me and my dad. I left Michigan to go get my PhD in Sociology from (dream school). However, my dissertation was over android and human sociological relationships and the moment I was approved, Wayne State University in Detroit recruited me and offered me an amazing deal for a brand-new professor. It made sense since Detroit was at the heart of the android revolution, which would make research even easier.

I moved into a basic apartment in June and now it’s early July. I had been avoided seeing old friends and family, telling them I had to unpack and work on my new class, SOC 345: Android and Human Relationships. Which wasn’t a complete lie, but I have been watch an unhealthy amount of cute cat videos and eating a lot of peanut butter toast alone too.

I told my dad I would meet him today, Monday, at the station so we could get lunch with his police partner, Connor. My dad had always hated androids, I still had a hard time believing he had basically taken Connor under his wing and from what Tina tells me, he treats him like a son.

I took a deep breath and walked into the DPD. I couldn’t help but feel anxious. I hadn’t seen my dad in over 10 years. When him and my mother divorced, he tried to stay in touch, but after my half-brother, Cole, died he pretty much disappeared from my life.

“Hey, dad!” I said, a little too enthusiastically as I walked towards his desk. Immediately the android in the desk across from him stood up and gave me a goofy smile.

“You must be Lieutenant Anderson’s daughter! My name’s Connor.” He reached out his hand for a handshake which I accepted with a smile.

“Hi Connor, I’m (y/n). It’s nice to finally meet you!” I looked over to my dad, who had awkwardly shuffled towards us.

“Hey, (y/n). How’s Detroit been treating you?” I reached over and gave him a short hug.

“It’s been good. Doing research is a lot easier here than back in (old state). Plus, WSU gave me a pretty nice office.” I rubbed my shoulder; my dad was about to ask another question when another voice interrupted.

“Dr. (L/n). I’ve read some of your research and wanted to introduce myself. People here call me Nines, but I am an RK900 from cyberlife. If you ever have time, I would be interested in discussing some of your theories with you.” Nines kept his hands behind his back. He looked a lot like Connor, but taller and more serious.

“It’s nice to meet you Nines. I always have time to talk about my theories. Not many of my peers do similar research so any chance I get to talk about it I’ll take it.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw a man in a leather jacket with a hood, blue jeans, and what looked like a permanent scowl on his face.

“Hey Tin Can! We have a case to solve!” Nines whipped around to look at him and I moved from behind him so I could glare at this rude stranger.

“Excuse me? Who do you think you are? You don’t get to talk to people or androids like that.” I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t help myself. I hate bullies, especially people who bully androids. I marched over to the man with my arms crossed my chest. He’s about 6 inches taller than me with a scar running diagonally across his nose. He snorts and looks down at me.

“And who are you pipsqueak?” He chuckled, for once I was glad, I looked younger than my age. Nothing beats giving your full title to assholes.

“I’m Dr. (Y/n) (L/n), a professor at Wayne State University studying sociological relationships between humans and androids, and it seems you fall under the category of ‘asshole to everyone’.” Keeping my glare on him, he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. He mumbled a ‘whatever’ under his breath and walked away. I smiled to myself and turned back towards Nines, Connor, and my father.

“I apologize for my partner, Detective Reed. He sometimes forgets not everyone shares the same opinions as him.”

“No worries, Nines. But you shouldn’t have to deal with that, I mean-“

“(Y/n), Reed has a lot of problems, but is mainly just an asshole.” My dad interrupted me, “but we should really get to lunch.” I nodded.

“Well it was nice to meet you, Nines. Please feel free to stop by my office anytime. I’m pretty much there every day until classes start.” Nines gave me a short nod and walked towards where Detective Reed had gone as I followed my dad and Connor out of the precinct.

“Lieutenant Anderson said you like sandwiches, so I found a local restaurant that is highly rated.” Connor said as we all buckled up in my dad’s car. Connor had given me the passenger seat and he sat in the back.

“I do like sandwiches.” I turned back to look at him, as my dad started driving. “So, Connor, how do you like working for the police department?”

“I was made to assist law enforcement, although I do prefer working for the DPD over Cyberlife.”

“That’s fair. What about you, dad? How do you like working with Connor?” My dad snickered at my question.

“Well, he’s the only partner I’ve been able to stand. Although I wish he would stop putting evidence in his mouth, it’s disgusting- “

“He has a forensics kit that can analyze samples in real time.” “I have a forensics kit that can analyze samples in real time.” Me and Connor said at the same time, causing my dad to groan and me to giggle.

“Damnit now there’s two of you.” My dad said with a short laugh.

“(Y/n), how do you know that?” Connor asked, I noticed in the rearview mirror he tilted his head.

“Shortly after the android revolution I interviewed one of my old contacts who use to work at Cyberlife. Plus, you’re the one saving my dad’s butt out in the field I wanted to know what you were capable of.” My dad quickly glanced over at me. I could tell he was surprised that I knew that, or maybe he was surprised I kept tabs on him.

“That makes sense.” Connor said shortly, his LED changed to yellow for a short second and then looked back at me through the rearview mirror. “Lieutenant Anderson forbade me from looking you up and learning more about you before meeting you. I didn’t know he allowed you to do research on me.”

“Connor, two things, I’ve told you a million times you can call me Hank, especially when we’re outside the precinct. Second, (Y/n) looking you up for her research is different than you scanning a ton of databases and learning everything about her.” My dad said as he pulled into a parking spot.

“That’s fair, Hank.” Connor said as we all got out of the car. The restaurant wasn’t very busy, and we got a table right away. Me and Connor sat on one side of the table and my dad sat on the other side. He kept nervously looking at me and the menu.

“So, how do you like your new apartment, (Y/n)?” My dad asked me while staring intently at the menu.

“It’s a little small, but it’s just me so it works. It’s only a ten-minute walk from the university which is really nice. You guys should come see it sometime. I’m pretty much fully unpacked.”

“Do you have a dog?” Connor asked quickly, I couldn’t help but laugh.

“No, I’m more of a cat person, but I have missed Sumo.”

“Sumo’s going to go crazy when he sees you. He refuses to let anyone take one of the blankets you left still. He’s always hiding it around the house. He’s so much bigger now.”

“I didn’t know that that blanket belonged to (Y/n).”

“Yeah, Sumo and (Y/n) were really close.” My dad said softly. I felt an ache in my heart. For a moment I thought of telling my dad I wished I hadn’t left, but that wasn’t fully true. Luckily the waitress saved us from sitting in awkward silence. She cheerfully took me and my dad’s order and walked away. “I’m surprised Nines walked up and introduced himself and asked to talk sometime.”

“He seems nice.” I said softly, somehow, I felt I’ve stepped over a boundary. Maybe I should’ve met them at the restaurant instead of going into the precinct. “I’m sorry for yelling at that man, it wasn’t my place to talk like that in a police department.” I stared down at my lap until I heard my dad burst out laughing.

“You have to be kidding! I love seeing people put Gavin in his place. He’s an asshole,” my dad said. “Pointed a gun one time at Connor even.” I gasped.

“What? Why? Connor are you okay?” I grabbed his arm and he jumped a little in surprise.

“Of course, it was when I was first assigned to the DPD. I did knock him out later, which was…satisfying.” Connor said, I let go of his arm and felt myself blush. “(Y/n), may I ask a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Why do you care so much about androids? Even before the first reports of deviancy you were publishing papers fighting for android rights.” I had expected Connor to ask me that at some point, but I thought it would take longer than this.

“I don’t know I’ve just always felt that we were equal. Why does it matter that our blood is different colors? Androids have helped push society so much further than expected. I just…it never felt right to me. The way people treated androids.” I couldn’t help, but shiver thinking about some of the horrific stories I’ve read. I looked over at Connor who was staring at me intently. His LED was spinning yellow. “Can I ask you a personal question, Connor?”

“Of course.”

“Many androids have taken off their LEDs, why have you kept yours?” His hand raised up to his LED, which was still yellow.

“There’s no reason I should be ashamed that I am an android instead of human, so why would I hide the fact?” My dad snorted and I quickly turned my head towards him, tilting my head slightly.

“I’m not laughing at what he said. It took a month of me trying to convince Connor to stop wearing his Cyberlife uniform.” I couldn’t help but smile, looking back at Connor. A light blue blush spread across his cheeks.

“It was comfortable.” He said, his LED finally turning back to blue.

“That’s fair. In middle school I wore the same sweatshirt every day.” I said, as the waitress sat down our sandwiches. I took a bite, not realizing how hungry I was. “Mhmmm, Connor you picked a great restaurant, this is delicious!” He beamed a smile. I looked back at my dad, who was looking at both of us with so much happiness. “Dad, do you think you and Connor could stop by my office sometime this week? I really hate where they’ve put my desk and couch and I could use some help moving them.”

“That’s fine with me, Connor?”

“I would love to help, maybe after you can come over and visit with us and Sumo?” I looked at my dad who immediately looked worried, I could tell he wanted to take fixing our relationship at my pace.

“That sounds really nice. Does Friday work for you guys?”

“Yeah, that should be fine. Fowler’s been telling Connor he needs to take time off anyway.”

“Which I don’t understand. I’m an android. I can work every day and be fine. Our cases have a high success rate.” I let out a laugh.

“Connor, he isn’t asking you to take time off to punish you, he wants you to be able to enjoy the world outside work! Have you picked up any hobbies?” I asked him.

“I like to take care of Sumo.” He answered quickly.

“Okay, well how about one day me and you go to a local dog shelter and walk some of the rescues?” I offered.

“Really?” He was practically jumping up and down.

“Yes of course! It’s great volunteer work and those dogs need some love.”

“Hank, would you come with us?”

“That should be you and (Y/n)’s thing. We can do something altogether some other time.” I couldn’t help but notice his hesitant tone.

“I think that would be really nice, Dad.” He didn’t look up from his sandwich, but I could see the small smile on his face.

Chapter 2

#gavin reed x reader #gavin reed #rk800 #rk900 #dbh nines #detroit become human #fan fic #sumo #connor #hank anderson #connor is like a son to hank

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beauty-grace-outer-space · 4 years ago

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1 and 9?

1. what is/was school like for you?

School was apparently stupidly easy throughout elementary school. In kindergarten, I’d finish the work before the teacher finished explaining the assignment because I could read faster than she could talk, and then I’d want to help the others or go do something else. They had a counselor come sit in on the class to observe me after a while (and the teacher complaining) and he promptly informed everyone that he was absolutely certain that I had ADHD, and that the solution was not to medicate me or switch classes, but for the teacher to step it up and keep me engaged.

After that, they wanted to move me to third grade, but I was only five years old so instead, I did first grade half in English, half in Japanese. But the Japanese teacher really did not like me (because I was younger than the other students) and despite doing well in the class, she refused to teach me. She called me “the baby” and made me sit off to the side and “play” instead of lessons most of the time. Halfway through the year, they moved me back to an all English first-grade class, and I had the meanest teacher I’ve ever had. I got in trouble a lot.

In second grade, my teacher was a gem and instated a rule that I could move around however I wanted, and sit in whatever position I wanted... as long as I could touch my desk. She incorporated singing into the lessons, which I found fascinating, and had a lot of student participation which helped. I have been reliably informed that this was the point when other students started to bully me, but I have very little or no memory of it. I asked a friend about it once, and she has vivid memories of it all. When I asked her why, she said, “People thought you were really weird”. I just said, “I am really weird.”

In third grade, my teacher gave out “points” for good behavior, and had a separate area of the classroom for play once work was finished. She kept legos and other fun toys on hand which was great, and I started trying to build up good behavior points to buy little gifts for my mom in the student store. That year, I made student of the month for the first time and cried.

In fourth grade, I broke my wrist and the boy next to me got mono so I sat alone most of the year. My teacher liked to read to us from The Hobbit or the Chronicles of Narnia. Not many memories from that year.

In fifth grade, my teacher was a tiny amazing woman who encouraged me to write stories once I had finished my work. My friends and I formed an author’s club and a book club, and that’s when I really started writing in my free time.

Sixth grade was the first year I had multiple teachers (in middle school you change classes). It’s also the first year I remember struggling with math.

Past that point, it’s really hit or miss. Sixth grade was the year I was formally diagnosed with OCD and major depressive disorder. It’s very common for folks with ADHD to hit a breaking point and suddenly struggle immensely, and most of my memories of middle school are of sitting at the dining room table in tears, radio on in the background because I needed a dual focus point, trying desperately to do my math homework.

For the first time in my life, I felt stupid. I had always been “the smart kid”, the “gifted child”. As I failed to comprehend basic math concepts, my self-esteem plummeted. Something in my brain interpreted this as a loss of control, and I started washing my hands until they bled. I started self-harming. I wasn’t sleeping well. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, and all I could see was that everything I had ever thought myself to be was a lie, and everyone was going to be so disappointed that I failed to live up to all that supposed potential.

My mom found me a therapist (whom I still see to this day). We figured out how to keep my hands from looking like desert battlegrounds. I joined student government, but for the first few years, people didn’t like me much. I made the National Honor Society but had to drop out in tenth grade because I couldn’t make an A in math class. I was on track for the College Prep. Honors diploma, but I missed it by (you guessed it) one math class.

I found choir and theater, and I excelled in English. I struggled a lot, but I found my niche, and I threw myself into art subjects with everything I had. My graduated class was really small, so we all go to know each other really well and I got along well with basically everyone (though I was still very weird. I just knew how to own it and roll with it).

I couldn’t afford a university (my family went through a really hard financial patch), so I applied for community college. I had a lot of angst about that because, at 17, it felt like failing somehow. (It’s not, and don’t let anyone tell you it is. Community college is dope, valid, and budget-friendly.) I did great in my classes... but bombed math. Totally failed it. Straight “F” for the first time in my life. And I burnt myself to the ground.

In nine months I did six stage productions and 20 classes. I got to school around 7AM and left after midnight sometimes. Other unfortunate circumstances occurred (cough trauma cough) and I ended up leaving the school for a gap year, but I was suicidal and struggling a lot.

A year later, I made it into my dream school and I moved out of state to attend. One of the first classes I had to take was a math class, and I was distraught. But something about this teacher, and the way he taught, and the type of math it was... it clicked. I passed the class with a B+, and it fulfilled my math requirement forever. I called my mom sobbing.

I had a great first year, went back for the second... and burnt myself out again. More unfortunate circumstances occurred, and between the harassment, the social abuse, the verbally abusive director I had for the show I was in that year, and a roommate who wouldn’t speak to me, I burned myself out again.

I dropped out after that year. It took five years to gather up the willpower to try again. Last year, I finished my degree via online classes. Somewhere in there, I stumbled upon ADHD characteristics and got curious. Asked my mom and turns out they had me unofficially diagnosed when I was five and no one informed me. They did their best to help things along, though. My mom interviewed and hand-selected my teachers where she could. The administrative staff was onboard to work with me instead of against me. I just had no idea.

TL;DR: School was interesting, I had no idea I had ADHD and just kind of muddled along wondering why I was so weird/couldn’t shut up half the time. Gifted kid burnout, college blew up in my face, lots of mental health stuff and pain later, ta-da! AA.

(If ya’ll could see the face Grammarly is making at me because of the tone and wording of this post... it’s like O_O-- “bitch is you ok?”).

9. favorite stim / one you do most often?

I only very recently became aware that I stim. I’ve always done it, but again, I was not aware that I had ADHD until last year. Most common ones are leg bouncing and-- if I’m playing an instrument, reading, or thinking-- rocking. I do think there’s something to be said for... I don’t know how to say this and not make it weird, but... having something to chew/suck on? Because I bite the inside of my mouth a lot, and if I have a lollipop, I’ll first finish it, then chew on the stick, etc. but I won’t seek things out to... put in my mouth, if that makes sense? I also sing basically constantly if I’m alone. There are more, but they don’t come up as much.

#long post #sorry #i just woke up #adhd

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softgrungeprophet · 4 years ago

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i liked agent venom when i read it, partially because it actually had a discernible plot and a story that wasn’t just half finished and abandoned from constant cancellations, but at the same time i hate it. i hate it so much.

i hate that flash became venom and suddenly, all of his relationships were completely erased except for like, betty and sometimes peter and that was it. mj and harry who? childhood friendship with liz? no she’s just going to... blackmail him for some reason even though they’ve known each other for literally like 15 years

i hate the agent venom origin slott wrote, i hate flash being pissy about peter confiding in MJ, who they are both friends with, because if you’re dan slott you can’t talk to girls unless you plan on fucking them, i hate how gung ho slott is about the military propaganda and the fucking american flag behind flash in superior spider-man, even though superior (a comic i don’t ever plan to read in full) actually had a good moment with flash and “peter” and flash’s tenseness in a domestic argument situation

(i also hate that that one pre-agent venom web of spidey comic could have been good, actually had good assistive devices, but then... the entire villain plot is about some Mysterious Terrorist or whatever who nonetheless congratulates flash for “constructively” letting out his anger on faceless middle-eastern soldiers, and this is played straight--disgusting)

i hate all of it even the things i like because they took a character who actually was fairly complex and flattened him into a football-loving, gun-toting, all-american patriot who loves god and his country, at odds with the previous 30 years of character development, at odds with the flash who when asked if he liked being in the army (after being DRAFTED into fucking vietnam) said that there is no liking the army, only dealing with it, and i hate every bro who thinks agent venom was the coming of the great whatever and acts like flash was completely nothing before then and that only in agent venom did he have any character when the opposite is true and agent venom trampled out every bit of nuance he had to focus on alcohol and football and nothing else (at least bunn finally put him back into a school again, had him working with youth again (andi in this case))

i hate, unrelated to agent venom, the fact that flash the complex character has been further and further stretched and distorted to have been a horribly violent schoolwide bully as a teenager rather than what he actually was--an obnoxious kid with a fucked up home life trying to fuck with one specific kid--to the point that even in the college stuff, even AFTER having “become good,” he’s the only one who gets repeatedly and purposefully excluded from official works and fan works alike because everyone thinks of him as nothing more than a bully, that every movie appearance of flash sucks except TASM (which is still barely a flutter but you can tell thought was actually put into his character by the actor himself), the fact that he’s the only living member of the friend group (because i assume gwen is dead) who doesn’t get more than a single-line mention in the ps4 game (but at least it’s positive, and i like to pretend that MJ was checking on him when she went to the veteran’s center since we know he works with veterans in the game, even if we never see him) (i still want to be able to go to coffee with mj, flash and harry all together)

i don’t like the bullying flashback in the bunn AV run (even though i liked the comic as a whole, especially with andi, and how bunn and shalvey moved away from the military stuff more toward neighborhood protector stuff), i don’t like bunn’s take on high school flash (he also wrote a different spider-man comic with high school flash a little bit before then)

i hate that flash’s growth wrt his disability, which he came to accept as a part of him that he didn’t need to find some miracle cure for, was completely thrown down the toilet so they could do their stupid supersoldier agent venom shit, which flies directly against the SPECIFIC endpoint of the stages of grief comic, which SPECIFICALLY used superserums and bionic military limb testing as the thing he did not need in his life--and then dan slott runs over like teehee here’s some bionic supersoldier military testing shit :3c

hate that he was killed for the stupidest reason by norman fucking osborn, hate that the disabled abuse survivor was killed by the man who killed one of his best friends, who abused another, who manipulated HIM, who drove him into a fucking building after force-feeding him hard alcohol, hate that norman got to “win” against flash one last time, hate that norman is now being treated as this fucking “couldn’t help it” case while harry is Actually Bad, and still, flash is what? a dream symbiote dragon? fucking stupid and i hate it, i don’t want any of it

every new thing i see about new spider-man and venom comics wrt flash makes me wish he would stay dead lmfao

but it’s not like there weren’t already a ton of bad comics about him but at the very least... i would like something that isn’t just about the Patriotic Soldier Boy who never actually fucking existed

the football thing is a really fun one--and i love that the TASM movie made flash play basketball in that movie because if you look at comics from the 60s through to the early-mid 2000s, preceding agent venom... flash stopped playing football after high school and started playing basketball instead. started doing other sports, probably stopped football because, gee i can guess who told him to play football in the first place, but somehow agent venom happened and decided that his entire life was just Football and Guns? when he hadn’t touched a football in literally like... 10 years in-universe

(TASM best live-action spidey adaptation)

there is not purpose to this rant i just needed to get all this shit out of my head

i am very On Edge the past few weeks and idk why, just ADHD brain shit I guess but everything makes me tense lately (probably why i played through 77% of the spidey game in literally four days by virtue of doing absolutely nothing else in my free time) (i’m taking a break for the sake of my hands but maybe i should go keep playing lol)

i know some people like the dragon and i’ve added it to my “flash trans” list but in the context of stories about flash over the past ten years i really am not interested, and this coming from someone who read eragon 9 times in middle school and grew up reading mostly high fantasy and dragon books. i just. don’t want it. not by the writers currently going at least. maybe if it was someone else or if i knew it would be anything more than a future of soldier boy alcohol football crap lmfao

#nadia reads comics #anyway if anyone has recs for pre-2000s issues that focus on flash i would like that #i have read the prom story though i like that one... nuance...#not interested in the hobgoblin comics either i think those fucked up his character #flash: calls sha shan a wench #me: literally who the fuck is this cause it's not flash

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summerspn · 5 years ago

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Felicity

Tv series (1998-2002)

Spoilers...

I’ve gradually been watching Felicity for the past few months & have completed watching the series. I gotta say it’s charming & oddly addictive.

At the beginning of the series Felicity (Keri Russell) is an extremely shy & introverted character. She’s adorable. We see her proudly graduating high school but also feeling some trepidation about it. Naturally.

She sees her high school crush, Ben Covington, (Scott Speedman) at their high school graduation & decides to just go & talk to him. She regretted not getting to know him before. So she fixes that. Her yearbook had some sort of printing issue so they gave it to her on graduation day. So she asks Ben to sign her yearbook.

Surprisingly he sits down & writes a very thoughtful message to her. It’s sweet & inspiring. She decides to follow him to New York & she gets into NYU.

In tv land one can get into school in just a couple months - ya know completely ignoring the hundreds of people waitlisted lol That made me chuckle when watching. No big deal though.

Felicity gets to school & realizes Ben was just a nice guy & wasn’t in love with her of course. So she gets a bit of a reality check.

She makes a few friends & lives in the biggest dorm room on the history of planet Earth!

My room in my old dorm was ‘big’ and it had 3 feet of space between the beds...much bigger than my sister’s dorm lol

Felicity is likeable because she’s sweet, smart, shy & confused & just trying to figure her life out. All she knew is she didn’t want med school as her parents kept trying to shove it down her throat.

Ben is a nice guy who struggles with feeling stupid sometimes (though is actually really smart). He struggled with some of his classes & lacks a clear path for his major.

Occasionally Ben has these lines & that message in the yearbook which made me stop & go ‘you’re a writer’. I kept thinking he was going to become a writer...then in season four he decides to be a doctor. Okay...it was an alright decision & I like his academic plot lines in season 4 so no real complaints there.

We meet Noel Crane (Scott Foley)who is super dreamy. He’s smart, nice, outspoken but sensitive. A straight laced student & Resident Advisor (RA) who becomes Felicity’s friend & has a crush on her.

Throughout the series that’s the love triangle. It was interesting but there was far too much emphasis on it. Often it overshadowed the more interesting storylines on the show, IMO.

Noel pines for Felicity & loses sight of his life then soon graduates without a plan then later develops depression. I thought that was a great storyline. Noel’s family history of depression was compelling & how the character described it was very well done.

Back then tv shows didn’t talk about mental illness but this was handled delicately.

Noel gets help & gets better. He gets his life back on track, pursuing his dream of graphic design. There’s a line where he gets teased for liking computers...ya know as only ‘nerds’ like that stuff 😂

Felicity’s roommate Meghan Rotundi (Amanda Foreman) is a bit of a goth/Wicca practitioner. Every other character wear clothes I assume that are from The Gap so Meghan looks very different in her black mesh clothes & dark makeup. Nice contrast but I feel like Meghan’s development was overlooked for the most part of the series. She’s very blunt, unapologetic, sometimes mean...but she also cares for others even though she’ll deny it.

In her romantic life there’s growth but not academically. It’s only in the end of the last season does she realize she wants to pursue psychiatry. I think there were some missed opportunities there.

Though I will say I like that her uptight parents accept her for her quirks & clothing choices.

Sean Blumberg (Greg Grunberg) ...I have mixed feelings about his character. He’s an ambitious inventor & sort-of businessman. He owns a loft where Ben sublets /shares with him. Sean’s nice, caring & excitable. He’s also several years older. Around 5 or 6yrs difference I think.

His age difference was brought up several times, as if it were supposed to be important. In my last year of school I lived with a woman who was 15 years older than me. So what? Not a big deal. I’m not sure why the show kept pointing it out.

The only issue with his age is that at one point he’s 27 and STILL has no steady job. None! He’s all-in with his inventions that make no money & his family isn’t rich so how does that work now? He has a loft in New York with zero income? One episode talked of him owing money but come on, get rid of the loft, downsize then get a job, even if part time. *sigh*.

At the start of the series I liked Sean but then they turned him into a pathetic leech who gets mad & throws tantrums easily. He became incredibly annoying.

When I was near the end of the series I started to think that Sean would actually make a good salesman. Imagine him trying to sell cars, just the right amount of pushy. Though they put an episode in that made him look like a buffoon when making a sales pitch. So I feel like the writers were confused or trying to sabotage his character because he still ends up leeching off his buddy Noel & they end up business partners. 🤷‍♀️

Sean & Meghan date & eventually marry. I thought they were cute together at first but not as long term. I feel like Meghan would murder him due to being sick of his shit.

Elena Tyler (Tangi Miller) becomes a good friend to Felicity. All the ladies care for each other a great deal. Elena is very intelligent & a hard worker. She had a few romances & nearly got married. But I’ll be honest I found her boring. Not sure why. I think the most interesting part of her character was that she chose not to marry her fiancé Tracy. I thought it was a very smart move. And I found her background with her mom interesting but they didn’t do much with that.

Richard Coad starts out as an annoying member of the dorm. He & Noel become friends then later gets befriended by the group. Richard is a neurotic, blunt talking mess. He’s somehow still kinda adorable though does have some rough spots. I really liked him up through season 3. Season 4 he was in much less and then the writers turned him into a racist moron. Even if he had those thoughts I feel like his character would be more subtle & not as rude due to his overly developed sense of self preservation. Plus he’s not stupid, just blunt & a bit disconnected.

He did apologize but still it felt just so...wrong. Out of character even.

In any case I think the writers should have made him a little more like Rob Benedict, the actor who played him. Rob’s loveable.

Javier Quintata (Ian Gomez) is the owner at the coffee shop Dean & Deluca. He’s the boss but becomes very close with everyone, especially Felicity. I really liked him at first. Eventually his personal favours become outlandish & his stories started to make my eyes roll.

He & his devoted husband break up over non-issues. Why? It added nothing to the plot. Javier also wants to pursue acting at NYU. He’s really not good so it came off as a dumb idea & all scenes in acting class become annoying. I feel like the writers didn’t know what to do with him. I’d have preferred if he pursued a different dream- one that made sense. Like maybe all the years working with coffee & pastries inspires him to want to be a chef? 🤷‍♀️

Felicity. Throughout the series she’s shy, gradually getting more of a backbone. She admits to loving art & wants to pursue it. Her parents constantly pull her down , try to talk her out if it, even bully & manipulate her. She is for the most part uncompromising. I loved that! She held her ground & from a person like her, who always kept the peace at the expense of her own happiness, that’s amazing.

We see her grow though she spends far too much time angst-ing over Ben & Noel. Often she seems tortured with very few moments of being free & having fun.

I loved how in season 4 she befriends fellow artist Owen. I feel like that was huge. I loved how they went to galleries together & talked about their art & life. It was refreshing. I love that Felicity’s honours art class was so important to her & everything around that plot.

I hated however, how she always put others first.

So...I have to mention Felicity’s haircut from Season 2. I didn’t find it that bad...but apparently Keri Russell got death threats from it. Complete insanity!

Though I do think as it was 1999 back then, people were more uptight with personal style. If she had dyed her hair pink instead people would have flipped out too.

I do think there were better hair styles to choose from though. I think if she had a cut her hair to chin length & straightened it it could look pretty & still have a big impact. Something like that.

But honestly it’s just hair. I had a horrible haircut one year in university but it grew out on a few months & was fine. No big deal....but I wasn’t on tv so no one cared I guess 🤷‍♀️

In the ‘series finale’ , Felicity abruptly chooses medicine. Why??? That uncompromising love for painting just gone....And back to medicine? I wanted her to be an artist!

Every artist has a day job to support them. Felicity was acting like she was going to starve because she couldn’t sell her paintings.

I wish they found her a day job she really liked to support herself. I wanted her to be all-in.

Or they could find her a middle ground. That internship at the architectural firm, she could have realized she wanted to be an architect or something. Something other than medicine.

I really like though that she chose herself finally. Then Ben follows her to school. That was perfect. I just wished she didn’t want to be a doctor. I feel like that goes against everything she wanted.

Overall a great series. I love how they approach mental health - Felicity’s too. She was getting therapy regularly. It was nice to see. Very healthy.

I like JJ Abrams’ work but I (like everyone else) question the last several episodes. Nonsensical & out of place.

Personally I think the show should have put less emphasis on the romantic relationships & drama & more on self discovery by all characters. That’s more interesting...then sprinkle in a few moments here and there. A few episodes on love etc each season. We didn’t need the constant longing looks & drama of Will they won’t they.

I know I’m in a minority when it comes to such things but I feel the media - tv & movies especially focus WAY too much on the romance.

Then of course people like me who are borderline Asexual (except when it comes to fictional characters lol), I find it exhausting to always be bombarded with romance from all angles. However, if Felicity (and other shows) just used it occasionally & not every single episode I wouldn’t mind.

It’s just hard to care about a show if it just feels like it’s only about relationships and not much about life. But that’s just me.

The storylines that had me intensely interested in this show were:

- Ben’s relationship with his dad

- Ben gaining self confidence & realizing he’s actually smart

- Noel’s graphic designs & career

- Noel’s mental health

- Meghan’s rebellious nature & wanting to see what happens when she gets over the need to rebel (though we didn’t see much of it).

- Felicity’s parents’ attitude - I wanted them to see that they were wrong & admit it to her (though they don’t) 😞

- Wanting to see Richard find something he was really interested in & good at (which never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to have fun! Random silliness or parties...they rarely partied or did weird outings to things like paintball or bowling. College is for doing a million things. I wish tv land would do more if this

- Wanting Felicity to stop making decisions because of her love interests

- Wanting Felicity to go on a summer trip or internship to Europe on her own (never happened)

- Wanting Felicity to choose art (also didn’t happen) & support herself with either a job she simply likes (dog waking, tutoring, retail etc) or something in the art field (art therapy, illustrator etc)

To me these should have been the priorities & add romance occasionally...

But overall the series was good. The acting was really good from everyone. Even minor characters had pretty good actors. So well done!

The actors are great in other projects too. Keri Russell was in The Americans, even the Rise of Skywalker. Never saw them but I heard great things. Personally I really liked her in Austenland, August Rush, Mission Impossible 3 (small but great role), and I LOVED her in the movie Waitress.

Definitely give the actors a watch in other projects, even if you have mixed feelings about them in Felicity. They’re all good.

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shadowbanki · 4 years ago

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More Shiro-Sora things

I haven’t uploaded these tidbits to tumblr yet.

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—Catchphrases— Iroha says “nyaa” at times SeeU has a habit of saying “meow” Dex says “woof” sometimes Nigaito’s verbal tic is “gyuu” Miki says “Chun chun!” A lot... to be cute. Haku tends to say “Uwaah!” A lot. Uta’s catchphrase is “Yare yare...” (“Good grief...”) Taya’s catchphrase is “Is that sou, desu ne?” (“Sou desu ne” is basically “Is that so?” in Japanese. I combined the two. —Quirky behavior— Lapis carries around a toy wand and pretends to cast spells. Anon is just... chaotic neutral, in the way Luana and Isadore (OCs) are. She does things like eating Lunchables in the bathtub at midnight in the dark to prove that Lunchables float. Why midnight, and why in the dark? Because she doesn’t want dust bunnies to see her boobs. She’s also a very skilled mime. Kanon is wacky, and chaotic good. Like Luana and Isadore (OCs) but in a different way than Anon. She’s the type of person to immediately press a random button she found that says “Do not press.” She likes to annoy people with sound effects from her slide-whistle. She also likes playing dramatic kazoo. She also has clown skills, like juggling, and the ability to ride a unicycle. Teto is like Fuuko (Clannad) Taya is smart and dignified but... very clumsy and naive as well. Uta is badass, but kind of “chaotic dumb” in certain ways. Sometimes she forgets to do her homework while doing her homework. Don’t ask. Taya loves sweets, and his favorite is strawberry shortcake. He is also a good pastry chef... Uta is horrible at cooking! She is so horrible, that she makes things mega-explode! She is so horrible, she needs Taya to cook for her just so she can get by! Gakupo has some pretty sick ninja skills, just saying. Miki sometimes slips into “animated mode,” where she begins to act like a cute shoujo anime protagonist. Miki also sometimes runs with bread in her mouth when she’s late for school. When Ruko was late for school, she ran to school with an entire plate of breakfast in her mouth! Taya gets completely drunk after just a few sips of alcohol... Haku sure can hold her alcohol. She can beat everyone in a drinking contest... Nigaito is endearingly moe. He likes drawing pictures. Miki sometimes lends him cute manga about hamsters, his favorite animal. Ruby likes starfish for some reason. She always assumes every star-shaped item is supposed to be a starfish... Taya’s recorded voice has a tendency to break headphones. Nobody knows exactly why. Ruko is a very big eater. Akari likes stars. Ruby likes starfish. Piko likes stargazing. Yukari likes star celebrities. Nigaito likes the Big Dango Family song. Ruby tries to convince him that starfish are cuter and proposes the Big Starfish Family. Taya and Momo get into a rather heated argument over whether strawberries or peaches are better. Uta asks herself why she’s surrounded by airheads. Uta buys Taya a strawberry Squishmallow for his birthday. In no time, Taya is able to think of a personality and an extensive backstory for his new plush friend... Uta is impressed. Yukari fakes being mysterious and sophisticated to impress IA. It doesn’t work. —Funny Moments brainstorm!— Group chemistry! Misunderstandings... One time Taya tried playing Uta’s violin instead of his usual cello. He played an earsplitting tune and ended up breaking the violin. Not only does it just break, it comically explodes into little pieces! 46 of them to be exact... Taya mistook one of Akaito’s spicy habanero peppers as a new type of strawberry. He ate it, and it was so spicy that he temporarily lost the ability to speak.

“He’s just standing there... menacingly!” -Len, talking to Rin, referring to Kaito “Why did you set me on fire, Uta? Why didn’t you just write your essay?” -Taya ”Qingxian, I used your clarinet to unclog the toilet...” -Taya ”I am the darkness, I am the edge! I got this bruise falling from the ledge! Oh yeah!” -Zatsune “My voice is just naturally bass-boosted, I guess.” -Akaito ”You make the bass drop in my heart! I want to be together, with you.” -Yuuma, to Mizuki, in front of... everyone ”People all look the same to me. They all have two eyes, a nose, a mouth, arms, and legs. But Taya... you’re different. I can tell your soul apart.” -Uta “Take my hand... I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen.” -Taya. He was practicing lines from a short play he wrote himself. This captures Uta’s heart... “Take my hand... I’ll take you to a place where miracles happen... Now, shall we go?” -Taya, this time for real. He is reaching his hand out to Uta. He is trying to comfort her after an emotional moment. Both of them are about to cry. This is right before he confesses his love to her at the top of a hill under the stars.

—————

Random details- Taya is very polite, and selfless. He's always willing to do favors for people. He speaks in polite language. He bows at many occasions (Even in this universe that takes place in the USA, and not Japan.) He is humble as well. These may seem like quirks or obsessions as first, but it stems from his feeling of obligation to do things for people and "not be a burden," because he had friends and teachers who treated him like a burden before. When his anemia caused him to faint or miss classes, everyone treated him as a burden. When he starts hanging out with Uta, she comments on how he feels like a butler and tells him to loosen up, it's okay to be a bit more relaxed, and selfish even. Uta is pretty sarcastic, blunt, and sort of kuudere, so it'll be interesting to see her with the pure Taya Uta just lost her passion to depression, but that's touched on eventually/later She's all like "I hate life" but that's because of depression Taya tries to help out Uta and make her smile but... he ends up upsetting her... When Taya finds out how depressed Uta really is he starts crying for her and saying "I'm sorry..." and Uta is like "Why are you crying? Nothing is your fault..." And Taya apologizes again and says it's a habit that he feels responsible for his friend's sadness. Uta hugs him. "I haven't been able to cry for years, so I'm a bit jealous..." She says. "But... I still don't want you to cry though... I like to see your smile, ok?" Well I think the day Uta finally cries is when something bad happens to her but Taya comes and saves her and then confesses his love for her And then come the waterworks, from both of them! ——— There are magical moments where all 46 characters come together and do or create something. Such as a musical play. Do all 46 characters eventually become a gigantic group of friends? Imagine the 46 of them renting out an entire restaurant... and all taking turns performing karaoke! ——— List the backstories, secrets, sad hidden depth, tragedies, stories... and quirks! The quirks are how we grow to fall in love with these characters before we reveal the sadness. In the novel, it all ends happily... If it ever becomes a game, well... there would be a possible “good end” and possible “bad end”... ... Haku Yowane- Haku’s story is that she’s been lonely and insecure for most her entire life. Neru Akita- Neru’s story is that she has found herself alone and misunderstood for most of her days due to her temper. Miku Hatsune- Miku’s sincere, earnest dreams are crushed and she falls into a deep depression when she is diagnosed with an illness that will progressively damage her vocal chords. Miku never sang for selfish reasons. She sang out of love. She sang to connect others. She now compares herself to a caged bird, or one with broken wings. She wants to write a song about it... but she would rather have her final song be a happy tribute to all those who have helped her. Luka Megurine- Is Luka slowly fading away from this world somehow? Teto Kasane- Is Teto a spirit or something or other? Gumi- Gumi was bullied a lot since she was young, which traumatized her. Now people show her the tiniest bit of dislike, she panics or cries. Meiko Sakine- Meiko’s parents were neglectful, leaving her to have to mature on her own. Lapis Aoki- Is Lapis simply a wish fragment? Merli Aoki- Merli is still traumatized by the tragic death of her parents. Lily- Lily wants to change her image to someone more tame. She originally became a delinquent in middle school due to her parents’ constant fighting. IA- IA’s parents are divorced. It started after her mother had a miscarriage. She would’ve had a little sister named IO. Yukari Yuzuki- Yukari feels very insecure a lot... Uta Utane- Depressed, and doesn’t see much in life. Usually bored and glum. Once a bright girl with lots of dreams. Deep inside, she is passionate and caring, really… Can it be restored? Miku Zatsune- Insecure and hates Miku Hatsune for being more popular than her... Rin Kagamine- Rin has a mysterious connection to Len. Whenever Len is sick, Rin gets sick too. If Len were to die, Rin will suddenly die as well. Len Kagamine- Len has a mysterious connection to Rin. Whenever Rin is sick, Len gets sick too. If Rin were to die, Len will suddenly die as well. Kaito Shion- Kaito is actually an adopted child... not from this world... and doesn’t belong... Akaito Shion- Dell Honne- Dell is usually in a bad mood. He currently lives with a father who barely acknowledges him. He tends to keep it all inside, and he’s really just lonely and needs to find someone to vent to. Gakupo Kamui- Yuuma- Piko Utatane- Piko is a shy and compassionate person, but whenever he opens his mouth, he sounds very strict. He is bad at socializing and making friends, which leaves him quite lonely. On top of that, he is sickly and absent from school often. Piko wishes to make a friend. Mizuki- Nigaito Shion- He is sickly and is usually under the weather... Dex- Daina- Ruby- Taya Soune- Thinks of himself as a burden... Longya Yuezheng- His younger sister Ling nearly got into a tragic accident when they were younger, traumatizing Longya. Ling Yuezheng- She feels lonely that she doesn’t have many friends and is devoting her life to studying. Momo Momone- Is always passing out randomly... SeeU- Has a mysterious illness. Ruko Yokune- Ruko was always insecure about their height, six feet and two inches tall. They always wanted to be petite and feminine, but their body wouldn’t stop growing. Ritsu Namine- Ritsu used to be a bully. He remains to have a tsundere attitude... Deep inside, he has an earnest wish to apologize to everyone he ever hurt. Ruko is one of the few people who understands and knows this about Ritsu. In his childhood, he bullied Gumi for being a “coward.” Now he wants to apologize, but... Miki- Miki is too idealistic. She sees the world through rose-tinted lenses... but what happens when those lenses shatter? Aku Yamine- She wishes to have magic... she hates the state of the world. She hates evil, which is ironic... considering her name is pronounced like the Japanese word for evil. She wishes to cast out the darkness... which is ironic because her last name has the kanji for dark. Because of this, and because she tends to be a nuisance, Aku feels as if she is just a curse. Bruno- Bruno’s mother died when he was young. Clara- Clara was bullied a lot as a child. Iroha Nekomura- Yuu- Wil- Kyo- Akari Kizuna- Cheerful and sweet, and wants to make others smile… even though many heavy thoughts are hiding behind her own smile. Qingxian Mo- Being self-absorbed, Qingxian eventually begins to take advantage of Taya’s generosity and inclination to do favors. She may seem a somewhat spoiled brat, but she is lonely... Anon- Kanon- ——— College dorm antics... ——— Supernatural elements? Does the world have magical properties? How about the characters?

List them here...

All 46 characters mysteriously acquires a crystalline “star fragment” sometime during their journey. There are 46 pieces in total. Each character mysteriously acquires one when they are fulfilled. The fragment is from their heart. At a climax scene where all 46 are present, all the pieces are put together to form a beautiful kaleidoscopic star in 46 colors. This crystalline rainbow star can grant a grand wish, any wish... What will everyone agree will be their wish?

#Shiro-sora #my writing #vocaloid #utau #fanfic #life of pastell #brainstorm

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workofmark · 5 years ago

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Na Jaemin as your Big Brother

[a/n: i’ve been watching jaemin compilations all day send help. also, if you wanna see another member as your older/younger sibling just let me know in my ask box!] / master list

na jaemin would be the most dramatic person ever to live with

like he literally has to complain about everything

“mom, why do i have to babysit? they can see over the counter, can’t they? therefore, they don’t need parental guidance.”

“jaemin, thEY’RE SIX”

“do i have to wait for them?! i’m late!”

“jaemin, you still have an hour before school!”

but even though he complained a lot, he was still a very good brother to you

he played well with you growing up and was affectionate enough

had a thing for squishing your face/pinching your cheeks/ruffling your hair

only made you cry like once in his life because he hates to see you upset

the kind of brother that lies a lot to you

and not like a “i stole your money” kind of liar

more like

“of course faries exist.”

“the tooth fairy is gonna leave you a pretty penny for this tooth!”

“santa is coming tonight so make sure you go to bed early, okay?”

when you were younger

but when you start to get a little older, he starts to hide more things from you

like how your family is struggling a lot financially

but somehow jaemin always got you what you wanted

jaemin had the same pair of shoes all throughout middle school as well as a backpack that was falling apart but you never had to worry about getting a new uniform or school supplies

probably picked up small jobs when he was younger to get you that expensive jacket you wanted for christmas

and then picked up a part time job when he was in high school working late hours to help your parents out

you never had to worry about money because jaemin always took care of you

even goes to community college so that he could save for you to go to the university of your dreams

you could always tell jaemin what worried you and he would always listen

until one night

you were getting ready for bed when you looked out the window and saw jaemin sitting in the backyard

and it looked like he was crying

he just had a rough week at work and at school and listening to his parents fight again over money that it just all came crashing down on him at once

so when you catch him crying in the backyard, it sort of startles you

“oh!” he’ll exclaim as he wipes his face

then tries his best to pull off his best smile “i thought you were in bed. why are you up so late, kid?”

“na jaemin...why are you crying?”

“ah, don’t worry about it. i’ll be fine. come, let me tuck you into bed.”

but you stand in your place

“jaemin.”

because it’s not fair that while you’re peacefully asleep, jaemin is fighting a war on his own. jaemin would never let you cry yourself to sleep and you won’t let him do the same either.

“we don’t keep secrets. remember?” you raise your eyebrows at him

because it’s true

you and jaemin didn’t keep secrets

you knew all of his friends, he knew all of yours. you knew about past relationships, bad grades, wrong decisions...

so when he whispers, “but what if you get angry at me?”

that’s when you start to realize all the things jaemin has done for you without you even realizing

like when he beat up those bullies who were giving you a hard time at school last year but swore him and jeno were just play fighting at his house

or how he always slipped you something to eat when you were running late and swears it’s just left overs

or how he always makes two packs of ramen so that you can eat with him and “complains” when you ask him for some

or the countless late shifts he took so that he could help his parents out so that you’d never have to worry about anything

you’ve never really realized it but jaemin...he’s a really good brother

even though you guys argue all of the time

even if he gets under your skin

even if he tells you to shut up and go to bed on time

even if he seems like he doesn’t care sometimes

he just wants to protect you

he wants what’s best for you

“jaemin, if things were this hard, why didn’t you just tell me earlier?”

and he’ll just wipe his tears and laugh, “because. i just...couldn’t take that fairytale away from you.”

“jaemin, i’m not a child anymore.”

but then he frowns. “i know,” he says. “but i was scared.”

“scared of what?” you ask

jaemin stares at the ground, fumbling with the corner of his sweater. “i spent my entire life taking care of you. and i’m scared that if i let the fairytale of it all slip away...that you might slip away.”

and you gawk at him.

“you know, most boys your age would be living to know that their younger sibling in independent and doesn’t need to be dragged around with them all the time”

“not me.”

and you smile, “jaemin. i’m always going to be your little sibling. and i’m always going to need you. no matter how old i get, no matter what i learn, i’m always gonna need you to have my back. and nobody will ever change that. got it?”

and jaemin will smile at you. “got it, kid.”

“i love you, big brother.”

and he’ll ruffle your hair, “yeah yeah i love you too kid.”

#workofmark nct #workofmark na jaemin #na jaemin #na jaemin fanfic #na jaemin one shot #na jaemin imagine #na jaemin scenario #nct #nct dream #na jaemin nct #na jaemin nct dream #na jaemin au #nct au

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deadlifts-and-derrida · 6 years ago

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Learning to Grow

There's a scene in the 90's animated Spider-Man where Eddie Brock, the human host of the Venom symbiote, is lifting weights in his run-down New York apartment. He's shirtless, bench pressing what looks like an impressive weight. The camera runs over his arms and torso as he recites, between grunts, a litany of wrongs, imagined and real, that Spider-Man has visited upon him. There are brief flashbacks with each item on the list, played out semi-opaque in front of his sweaty muscular torso. As each one fades and we see him clear, his muscles appear to pulse and swell. He's getting bigger and bigger as the scene goes on, muscles engorging with each repetition, each up and down of the loaded bar he's bench-pressing.

This scene captivated me as a child. Any time this episode came up in re-runs I'd be glued to the TV, would find some excuse to go into another room and sneakily turn on a separate television, away from my family, even if it meant watching it on a smaller, less modern set.

I knew I loved muscle before I saw this scene. I even doubt this was the first time I saw a depiction of where muscles came from. This first aired in 1994. I would have been 11. Surely I knew muscles came from working out before I saw this. But it felt like some previously unconnected parts of my brain were suddenly wired together.

If you want to have muscles you have to lift weights!

My mom had two blue dumbbells at home. I think she bought them to use at the Step Aerobics class she went to every Thursday night in the gymnasium of the local elementary school, the same school I attended. They were 5 lbs each. I'm sure they would look small to me now. They looked big to me then.

They came with a folded up paper diagram of exercises you could do with the dumbbells. It featured a line drawing of an absurdly muscular man (these are FIVE POUND DUMBBELLS and he looks like a professional bodybuilder!), shirtless, wearing a pair of short shorts. Of course I was attracted to this line drawing. But I remember taking these little blue dumbbells and trying to use them to get bigger and stronger. I tried to use the piano bench to do chest flies. I did lots of bicep curls. I don't think I ever did anything for my back and my legs - classic clueless young man, only exercising the muscles he can see, the ones that look good in a t-shirt.

I didn't go about this in any regimented fashion. They were sporadic attempts. I didn't yet realize how frequently you had to work out to see results. I didn't realize how to organize a weightlifting session at the gym, how to program it to achieve hypertrophy (or, in lay terms, bigger muscles). I thought of it like it was a role-playing game, like if you lifted weights you'd add a little EXP to your STR bar, and eventually it'd level up even if you weren't systematic about it.

So of course I don't think mom's two blue 5 lbs dumbbells did much for me.

There was no commercial or public gym in my hometown, nor one within a 100 km drive. There were some private gyms, in people's basements and such. My little hometown, which had about 5,000 people living in it when I was in my early teens, somehow produced four provincial bodybuilding champions to my knowledge, including Newfoundland's only internationally successful professional bodybuilder to date. Fewer than 1% of the province's population. We certainly over-performed in this aspect.

And then there was me. Absolutely nothing to look at. But burning with a desire that I felt ashamed of, felt like I should keep it hidden. Bodybuilding was all around me and I didn't say anything, didn't give any indication that it interested me. Two of those four provincial champions were my next-door neighbours, one of them a year older than me, one of them a year younger than me. It never occured to me to even try to train with them.

I was an awkward nerd. I knew I was gay. I hadn't told anyone. But bullies called me every word you can call a gay kid, because, well, they were bullies.

So I didn't connect with the budding bodybuilders around me. I never lifted in one of the basements where so many successful bodybuilding careers began.

I did pushups sporadically in my bedroom and hoped it would be enough.

Of course it wasn't. Forcing the body to build more metabolically expensive muscle tissue than it absolutely needs is one of the most difficult things to do. A few pushups in your bedroom and a protein-poor diet (I was vegetarian but I wasn't one of the "good kind" who research proper diet) won't cut it.

In my second term at University, the Field House opened. This was a new athletic facility. There was some controversy in student circles that we were all being levied a $40/semester fee to pay for the Field House - but in return, we all had access to the facility. We just had to show our student card.

Stress, bad eating, and a post-exam bout of mononucleosis had left me about 145 lbs at this point. I'm 6' tall. There was no muscle on me to speak of - though skinny, I had no abs, no definition in my arms and legs. My arms measured 10" around.

So, although all my leftist friends were angry about the Field House levy, I was secretly happy about it. Finally, I had access to a gym.

I didn't research what to do. I didn't ask for help in making a plan.

For weeks, I went in and ran on the treadmill.

I remember an article by another gay writer about body image, muscles, and exercise. He describes running on the treadmill while dreaming of himself as finally having that muscular body he's long wanted to have.

Now, I want to give the guy a shake and ask him what the hell he's doing on a treadmill if he wants muscles. That's like practicing piano and hoping it'll make you a better cook. But back then - I was that guy.

There was a little alcove in the Field House next to the cardio room that had some air-powered resistance machines. I started to use those. I doubt I used them well. No one taught me form. I didn't look it up. This was 2002 - YouTube, a great resource for this kind of thing, was years away.

But it was better than nothing. My diet, still appalling and low in protein, did get a little better as my palate expanded and I learned, on a semester in England in 2003, that I liked and could prepare chicken and fish.

My arms were 12" around. This is still small. It's nowhere near Eddie Brock. But it's better than 10".

I was like a timid deer slowly being tamed. Toward the end of my undergraduate degree, I began going to the Strength and Conditioning Centre, in the basement of the old Phys Ed building, where the actual lifters and bodybuilders on campus went.

But I was not yet either of those things.

I was still ashamed of my desires, couldn't bring myself to ask anyone for help, to acquire the practical knowledge I needed if I was ever going to achieve the kind of progress I wanted.

So even though there was a freeweight section full of huge burly men lifting impressive weights, I kept to the machines and the dumbbells. Lateral raises (probably done badly), cable flies (probably done badly), tricep pushdowns (probably done badly), dips and pullups (almost certainly done badly), lat pulldowns (I only ever felt these in my forearms). I never did a bench press. I never did a squat. I don't think I even knew what a deadlift was.

I ate like I was lifting big weights and having gruelling workouts, though. So, in other words, I got chubby and my muscles more or less stayed the same, after those newbie gains earned in the alcove of the Field House with the air-powered machines. I did not look like I lifted weights. I certainly didn't look like a bodybuilder.

My mid and late 20s were full of periods where I had no gym access. I ran during those times, every second day. I got fitter, my body firmed up, I felt better. I was also physically suited to middle distance running. But I was smaller, during those times, and I wanted to be bigger.

When I did have gym access I continued to lift poorly, without doing any compound movements (bench, squat, deadlift, overhead press, etc). And I ate to grow, but it was a lot of low quality food. So, during those times, my body got softer. I told myself I was bulking, but my muscles didn't get bigger. My arms were still about 12" or 13", depending on which of these two modes I was existing in.

I still lived in dread of someone discovering how much I wanted to be a huge muscular freak. How I fed my imagination on a steady diet of enormous bodybuilders, folders with thousands of jpgs saved from the internet, treasured memories of the rare times I'd seen a truly huge muscular man out in the wild, in person. Walking in the mall, lying on a blanket in the park, in the checkout line at the supermarket.

I would sometimes fantasize about finding some almost empty bottle of steroids in the locker room. Maybe just one or two pills left. At the time I erroneously thought all steroids were pills - I didn't know anything about steroids at all, at this point. I just knew they made guys big. In this fantasy, I would take the one or two pills I found, and it would make me slightly more muscular than I was. Perhaps 5% more. And that would be enough to make me happy without anyone realizing anything. Of course, it doesn't work that way.

I wasn't entirely clueless. In 2009, I started a PhD at the University of Toronto, and had access to its excellent gym facilities. By then I knew I had to do compound movements like bench press and squat. I started to learn how. I didn't seek out help, though, and I definitely should have. Also, a PhD is very demanding on your time. I was following a "split" (how you organize your workouts through the week) appropriate for someone lifting 4-5 times a week, but I was lucky if I got in 2 or 3 times (which, frankly, isn't enough to see much progress regardless of your "split"). 10 or 12 days would go by between chest workouts, between back workouts, between leg workouts.

I suppose I made some progress. Not much. I may have deluded myself into thinking it was more than it was, because I had been going to the gym, in some capacity, for 7 years, and I wanted to have something to show for it.

In early 2012, me and my then-boyfriend drove to his father's in South Carolina. I had just turned 29. I was planning on using the fact we were traveling to buy steroids online. I was paranoid that my IP address could be tracked if I did it at home and it would be safer to do it from some hotel room in Pennsylvania.

I realized, when in a hotel room in Pennsylvania trying to buy steroids online, that I didn't know enough about any of that to actually go through with it. I hadn't done my research. Looking back, my naivete is laughable. Now, if I encountered someone like the person I used to be trying to buy steroids, I would try my best to discourage them for a large number of reasons. One, you, past Michael, clearly don't know how to train and eat to grow; that being the case, all steroids will do is upset your endocrine system's natural balance and increase some health risks without actually giving you the benefits you want. Secondly, you don't know a thing about them. What kind are you going to buy? The answer better be testosterone enanthate or testosterone cypionate; test only for a beginner's cycle. Do you know proper injection technique? Don't even think about an oral-only cycle! Do you know what an AI is? It's an aromatase inhibitor, a drug that prevents most of the negative side effects people associate with steroid use, which ironically come from elevated estrogen, a side effect of elevated tesoterone - you did know that, didn't you? Do you know what PCT is? It's Post Cycle Therapy, drugs people take once they have finished their cycle of steroids to help restart their body's natural hormone production, which is disrupted by steroids. You knew steroids would shut down your natural testosterone production, right?

Luckily, I realized I wasn't ready, and didn't go through with my plan. I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, did I think I could just type "buy steroids" into google? OK, yes, you can actually do that, but it's not a good idea. There are plenty of people out there willing to make a quick buck selling snake oil to idiots like me, and even if they sold me legitimate gear, I wasn't ready for it and had no idea how to use it safely and responsibly, as outlined above.

In January of 2013, my parents, always solidly middle class, suddenly became very wealthy, and they passed some of this on to me. I had never made more than $25,000 in a year, and suddenly twice that was sitting in my bank account, with more to come.

One of the things I splurged on was a DEXA scan. It cost $125. You lay still on the bed of a device, and a mechanical arm slowly passes over your whole body twice. It takes about ten minutes. it is the most accurate body composition scan currently available.

I wanted to know how well my efforts in the gym had paid off.

Not at all, it turned out.

I was 184 lbs. This was in the "normal" BMI range for someone 6' tall. But I was 25.1% bodyfat. For a man, obesity is considered anything over 25%. I was the opposite of a bodybuilder. Bodybuilders have obese BMI but very low bodyfat percentages. I had normal BMI but an obese bodyfat percentage.

My lean body mass was only 138 lbs. If I was lean like a bodybuilder, I wouldn't even weigh 150 lbs. I had been going to the gym for 11 years and I had almost nothing to show for it - maybe 10 or 15 lbs of muscle gained from the underfed just-over-a-bout-of-mono 19 year old who first stepped into a gym in 2002.

This was a kick in the pants. Luckily it motivated me. I reformed my diet. No more pizza and burritos except as very occasional treats. Cut way way way back on the booze. Running in the morning every second day, lifting weights every day I didn't run.

I got married in June. I weighed 170 lbs and my bodyfat was down to 19%. I was losing fat without losing muscle, possibly because there was very little muscle to lose.

We went on an extended summer wedding tour, had wedding parties on both coasts. I relaxed a little but didn't give up fully.

And that September, enabled by having some money, emboldened by finally achieving a little success, spurred on by turning 30 and realizing that if I didn't start to do this right then my dream of being a bodybuilder would never come to pass, I hired a trainer.

And on our first meeting, I told him: I want to get as big as I possibly can.

And he said let's get to work.

#me #writing #self #working out #bodybuilding

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