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a-aexotic · 6 months

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✫𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒏𝒆, i can see you.

✫ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | fighting, swearing, tristan being an asshole, breaking things (not too graphic promise LOL) ✫ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | hey yall, i'm back! i hope everyone enjoys! also i tagged everyone who seemed interested, i'm sorry for the VERY late update. i'm back, mwahhh. also planning a nate archibald series, who'd be interested? lmk! ✫ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | @colbybrocks @weepingwitchofthewest @shady-writtingtalk @zulpix-blog @wheelerslover @dogmom600 @damnhati @remussbitch @yourmumstoyboy2-blog @1-800-starkindustrie

The front door opened suddenly and she whipped her head to make eye contact with... Tristan Dugray? Oh, so that's where she's heard that name!

Y/N couldn't control as her mouth flew open. She also couldn't control the words that came out of her mouth as she saw him. "Oh, you've gotta be shitting me."

After Y/N had locked eyes with Tristan she whipped her head to face her father. "You're engaged to Tristan's mother?!"

Her father and Kristan looked surprised — they both exchanged glances before they looked back at her. "Yeah, I guess I am?"

His answer sounded more like a question rather than a straight up reply. He didn't know why she was now seemingly opposed to the idea of him being engaged to Kristan simply because of Tristan.

Y/N looked shocked, her jaw practically on the floor. "You're engaged to Tristan's mother." Instead of a question, it sounds more like a statement.

Before any of them could reply, Tristan spoke. "Oh, hello step-sister." You could practically hear the smirk in his voice. He was enjoying see your shocked expression. Tristan's smug remark only fueled your growing frustration and utter disbelief. You shot him a glare that could freeze lava before turning back to her father and Kristan, your mind racing with a whirlwind of emotions.

"So, this is what you meant by wanting me to spend time with my old 'friends'?" Your tone was laced with sarcasm as she addressed her father. "You conveniently forgot to mention that my 'old friend' is now my soon-to-be stepbrother?"

Her father shifted uncomfortably under her accusing gaze, realizing he had failed to properly prepare Y/N for this bombshell. "I... I thought it would be best to tell you in person."

Your frustration mounted with each passing second. "Well you thought wrong, Dad."

Kristan interjected, her voice gentle yet firm. "I understand this is a lot to take in, Y/N. But we're all going to be a family now, and I hope we can find a way to make this work."

Y/N fought the urge to roll her eyes at Kristan's attempt to diffuse the tension as she gave her a sarcastic smile. "Right, a family. How convenient."

Tristan leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed with a smirk still playing on his lips. "Well, this should be fun. Welcome to the family, stepsis."

Y/N resisted the urge to launch herself at him as she shot daggers with her eyes. "Don't call me that."

Kristan shot a glare at her son as she turned to you once again. "We didn't realize it would be such a shock to you,. We should have handled this better."

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me. You knew you couldn't blame her father entirely, but the whole thing still felt like a betrayal. "I just need some time to process all of this," Y/N muttered, her voice tinged with resignation. "Excuse me."

"I thought that went great." Tristan mumbled as his mother shook his head, your father pulling her in closer.

You turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, leaving your father, Kristan, and Tristan as your retreated to her old bedroom, you couldn't shake the feeling that your carefully constructed world was crumbling around you, and you had no idea how to pick up the pieces.

You stepped out of the car, dramatically slamming the door as you took in the school: Chilton Prep School, where she would be going to school from now. She heard footsteps from behind her, she already knew who it was.

"Welcome home, Cromwell." Tristan's voice rang. You gritted her teeth at the sound of Tristan's voice behind you. You turned slowly, fixing him with a glare that could cut through steel.

"Save it, Dugray," you snapped, your tone dripping with disdain. "This is hardly my idea of home."

Tristan raised an eyebrow, his smirk never faltering. "Well, get used to it. Looks like we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other from now on."

Tristan raised an eyebrow, his smirk never faltering. "Feisty as ever, Cromwell. I'm just offering a friendly welcome to our new classmate, no need to get all... bitchy."

You narrowed your eyes at his remark, resisting the urge to roll them. "I'll take that as a compliment, Dugray. And I don't need your welcome. I know my way around just fine."

Tristan's smirk widened, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of you. "Oh, come on, Cromwell. Where's that famous New York charm? You're going to need it to survive in this stuffy place."

"I'll manage just fine without your help," you shot back, your voice dripping with determination. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than stand here and listen to your bullshit."

You turned away from Tristan, walking into Chilton. You already hated it, everyone looked so pretentious and elitist, just like Tristan. But you weren't going to let that intimidate you. You had faced down Manhattan's elite, and you could handle a bunch of snooty prep school kids. You had grown up with these kids, they couldn't be that hard.

As you made your way through the halls, you couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. The students eyed you with curiosity, whispers following in your wake. But you held your head high, refusing to let them see any hint of insecurity.

Chilton was a far cry from the bustling streets of Manhattan, and you couldn't shake the feeling that you were in for a rough ride. But you were Y/N Cromwell, and you didn't back down from a challenge.

With a flick of your hair and a confident stride, you made your way to your first class, ready to show Chilton Prep that Y/N Cromwell was a force to be reckoned with.

"Where are you two going?" You popped a grape in your mouth as you watched Kristan grab her purse from the chair as your father tightened his tie.

"I told you earlier, we have a date."

You raised an eyebrow at your father's response, a hint of skepticism in your voice. "A date? You two are acting like lovesick teenagers."

Kristan chuckled, smoothing down her blouse as she shot you a warm smile. "Well, your father does know how to sweep a lady off her feet."

You rolled your eyes as Kristan and your father shared glances. You all knew what that meant, you had to be left alone with Tristan. You had barely managed to tolerate his presence since arriving at your father's house, and the thought of spending an evening alone with him was enough to make you want to crawl out of your skin.

"Well, have fun on your date," you forced out, the words tasting bitter on your tongue.

With a quick goodbye, your father and Kristan headed out the door, leaving you alone, turning around and seeing Tristan in the spacious living room. He caught your gaze and his lips curved up into a smile.

You felt a shiver run down your spine as Tristan's gaze met yours, his smirk sending a wave of irritation coursing through you. You knew exactly what he was thinking – that he had you right where he wanted you, trapped in his company for the evening.

Suppressing a sigh, you turned away from Tristan, refusing to let him see how much he was getting under your skin. Instead, you busied yourself with anything that would distract you from his presence – flipping through a magazine, checking your phone, anything to avoid acknowledging him.

But no matter how hard you tried to ignore him, Tristan was a persistent presence in the room. You could feel his eyes on you, his smug smirk burning into the back of your skull.

Finally unable to take it anymore, you turned to face him with a glare. "What do you want, Tristan?" you snapped, your patience wearing thin.

Tristan's smirk widened, his gaze flickering with amusement. "Just enjoying the view, Cromwell," he replied casually, as if your irritation was nothing more than entertainment to him.

You let out a bitter laugh as you shook your head. "Real classy, Tristan."

Tristan's smirk only widened at your remark, his amusement evident in every line of his face. "Oh, come on, Cromwell," he said, his tone teasing. "You can't tell me you're not used to being the center of attention. You were in New York for five years and you're telling me you didn't have the boys throwing themselves at you?"

You narrowed your eyes at Tristan, refusing to let his words rattle you. "I don't need validation from boys like you," you retorted, your voice dripping with annoyance. "Unlike some people, I have more important things to focus on than relationships."

Tristan's smirk faltered slightly at your cutting remark, but he quickly regained his composure. "Touché, Cromwell," he replied, his tone laced with amusement. "But don't act like you're immune to a little attention. I've seen the way you strut around like you own the place."

"And you don't? Please, I see the way every girl at Chilton looks at you. And I know you well enough to see how much that strokes your already, inflated ego." You paused, your voice laced with sarcasm as you leveled a pointed gaze at Tristan. "But hey, who am I to judge? If you want to bask in the adoration of your fan club, be my guest."

"Oh, I will, Y/N." Tristan let out a laugh as he watched you get all heated. He continued you watch you as you scoffed, turning your head back to the magazine.

You could feel his eyes on you, his amusement practically palpable. But you refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing you squirm. You weren't about to let him see how much he was getting to you. With a determined flick of your wrist, you closed the magazine and stood up from the sofa, shooting Tristan a glare.

"I have better things to do than sit here and listen to you," you declared, your voice laced with determination. With that, you turned on your heel and marched out of the room, leaving Tristan behind with his smug smirk and his insufferable ego.

You refused to let him drag you down to his level – you had bigger things to focus on than his petty games, like actually getting back to Manhattan where you belonged.

As you walked away, Tristan's amusement turned to frustration. He wasn't used to someone challenging him like this, especially not someone like you. With a determined stride, he followed after you, catching up just as you reached the hallway.

As you stormed out of the room, Tristan's smirk faded into a scowl. He watched you go, frustration bubbling up inside him. How dare she walk away from him like that? Without a second thought, Tristan followed after you, his footsteps echoing in the hallway as he caught up to you just as you reached the foyer.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" Tristan called out, his voice sharp with annoyance.

You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him with a glare. "Away from you," you replied sharply, crossing your arms over your chest. "I can't stand being around you for another second."

Tristan's jaw clenched, his own temper flaring. "Oh, please," he scoffed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Like you're any better. You're nothing but a spoiled brat who thinks she's better than everyone else."

The words hit you like a slap in the face, igniting a firestorm of rage within you. "At least I'm not a narcissistic asshole who gets off on belittling others," you spat, your voice rising with each word. "You think you're so much better but you're not."

Tristan squared his shoulders, meeting your gaze head-on. "I want to know what your problem is," he replied, his tone angry. "You've been acting like you a complete bitch when I'm all trying to do is be your friend."

You scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. "Oh, spare me the act, Tristan," you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "We both know that's not what you're after. You just want to play your little games and stroke your own ego."

Tristan's jaw clenched, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "And what about you, huh?" he retorted, his voice rising in anger. "You act like you're too good for everyone, like you're above it all. Well, let me tell you something, Y/N – you're not as special as you think you are."

"You know what, Tristan. I don't care about you or your stupid games because all I'm trying to do is get back to New York. All this shit is just a rock in the road," you spat as you turned around, walking away.

"Oh really? What about your obvious drinking problem, that's why your mom sent you away, right?"

You stopped in your track as you took in Tristan's words. Fury was etched across your features as you spun around to face him, your fists clenched at your sides. "How dare you," you seethed, your voice trembling with rage. "You stupid asshole!"

You pushed him as hard as you could, causing him to trip and fall into a table. You heard a loud shattering and both of you just stared at each other before looking down to see glass everywhere.

"Shit, that's my mom's vase." Tristan's eyes widened in shock as he glanced at the shattered remains of the vase on the floor.

Your chest heaved with anger as you glared at Tristan, your fists still clenched at your sides. "You deserved it," you spat, your voice thick with venom. "You had no right to say that."

"Y/N, this vase is like two grand. It was my mom's favorite vase," Tristan scoffed as he stared down at the ground. "She's gonna be fucking pissed, idiot."

You stared back at him with anger but you knew that you needed to figure something out. Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you clenched your jaw and met Tristan's gaze head-on. "I know I messed up," you admitted begrudgingly, your voice tight with frustration. "You shouldn't have been a bitch."

"Well you shouldn't have pushed me, like an psycho." Tristan's voice was sharp, but there was a hint of surrender beneath his irritation. He knew that pointing fingers wouldn't solve anything, but he couldn't help but feel defensive in the face of your accusation.

"Well I'm not apologizing-"

"Y/N, we need to figure out what to do before they come home."

And right on cue, the front door opened, revealing your father and Kristan, who froze in shock at the sight of the shattered vase and the two of you standing next to it.

Your father's expression hardened as he took in the scene, his disappointment evident in his eyes. "What in the world happened here?" he demanded, his voice a mix of frustration and disbelief.

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junkissed · 1 year

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behave!

member — jeonghan x f reader genre — smut word count — 2.1k synopsis — you like misbehaving, and jeonghan likes putting you in your place. even more so when you know you're being filmed. smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, mean dom jeonghan, hannie is a sadist but reader is a masochist so it works out, hate sex (spoiler: it's pretend!), heavy degredation mixed with praise, oral (reader receiving), some fingering, edging, one (1) ruined orgasm, sexual acts on camera, choking, marking, begging, spitting in reader's mouth, reader is a capital b Brat, some borderline pet play (??), maybe kinda bulge kink but only for a second, nicknames (slut, whore, bitch, puppy, angel, good girl), hannie is called sir a couple times, everything is shown to be consensual beforehand!! implied established relationship, aftercare, playful banter between hannie & reader, the ending is soft notes — this is payback for @duhnova and @onlymingyus because i love torturing you both. i wish i had more notes to say about this but i literally wrote it at 3am after i told yall i was going to sleep oopsies (also tagging @lovelyhan because you need to suffer too!!)

“smile for the camera, baby,” jeonghan grins mischievously, holding his phone in one hand as he traces his fingers over your stomach.

“fuck you, jeonghan!”

he tsks, index finger circling around your belly button. “you won’t get to, not with that attitude.”

you stay silent and give him a glare, watching as his fingers slowly travel lower, ghosting over your skin. he’s teasing, and both of you know it. but although there’s nothing you can do to stop it, you don’t even really want to.

he presses his hand flat against your stomach and automatically you let out a whimper, feeling the tension already beginning to build in your core and you’re not even halfway undressed yet. he relishes in your involuntary sounds, knowing that no matter how you pout and pretend to be angry with him and try to hide them from him, he knows your body like the back of his own hand and it won’t be long until he’s got you screaming his name.

he pushes harder and your hands grab at his wrist, unclear whether you’re trying to push him away or hold him in place to add even more pressure. you can’t help the way your legs slide further and further apart, wordlessly begging him to do more than he’s already doing, because it’s not enough.

“you feel that, baby?” he says, pressing the heel of his palm into your abdomen. “feel how empty you are?”

you keep your mouth shut, determined to continue being a brat as long as he’s got his camera out. you already know that watching this recording back the next time you’re horny will be a damn treat, and you’re enjoying riling him up just as much as he enjoys you doing it. misbehaving is half the fun, after all; and when the reward is so sweet, how could you resist?

jeonghan clicks his teeth, tsking at your lack of a response. “if you aren’t gonna talk, then i might as well just put this away and go on with my day. but i know my little whore wouldn’t like that, would they?”

“and why should i say anything to you?” you spit back at him, and your stomach jumps in anticipation when you see his eyes light up at your words.

his nostrils flare as he sets his phone down on the table, giving it no more than a half second of thought on whether or not he’s propped it up properly before he’s bending over you, face to face in a split second.

his hand is still flat against your stomach, and the tip of his nose presses against your cheek with how close he suddenly is to your face. his breath is warm on your lips, and your heart races as you try to guess what he’s about to say to you.

“because, i can just leave you here, soaking wet and painfully horny and it wouldn’t bother me one bit,” he says, “i know your adorable little panties are ruined right now and you’re dripping onto the fucking sheets. i could smell you a mile away like a bitch in heat, that’s how bad you want me. and if you keep acting like a fucking brat, you aren’t going to get any of me. is that clear?”

you nod without a word, knowing it’s not the reaction he wants and purposefully not giving it to him as a final act of defiance. you know him well enough to know he’s reaching the end of his patience, and you can’t keep up being a brat forever. not when you can see how thick the bulge in his pants is, not when you can see the veins popping out in his arms, not when you can see that look in his eyes when you know he’s going to fuck you so hard you’ll be feeling it for days afterward.

he sits up and his hand on your stomach flies to your chin, gripping it tightly. on instinct your lips part in compliance as he forces your jaw open and puckers his lips, violently spitting into your eagerly awaiting mouth.

he wipes the remnants of spit from around his mouth with the back of his free hand, still holding onto your jaw with his other. “when i say speak, i mean speak, bitch. if i say bark, you bark. use your words like a good puppy and i’ll reward you, but disobey me and i’ll make you regret every second of it.”

jeonghan lets go of your mouth and you exhale a shaky but excited breath, this time quick to give him an answer. “yes, sir.”

he leans over you to adjust his phone on the nightstand, eyes narrowing with a sly smile. “now that’s a good girl. see how easy that was?”

“yes, sir,” you answer again. you know this part of the routine; he doesn’t do rhetorical questions, and you know better than not to answer him now.

when he’s satisfied with the camera’s placement he leans back down over you, his lips just centimeters above yours. this time you can’t hide your whines, and he coos. “aw, sweetheart, did it hurt when i grabbed you? want me to kiss it better for you, my little angel?” there’s just enough sarcasm in his tone to know he doesn’t care whether or not it hurt, and he won’t kiss it better, no matter what your answer is.

again it’s a trick question, and again you know exactly what response he’s looking for. “no, sir,” you whisper, barely enough space between you and him for you to move your lips to speak. “i liked it. sir.”

he grins sadistically, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth anyways. “what a good whore,” he praises, “taking what i give you so well.”

he moves on to your neck, biting roughly at the skin below your jaw and sucking for so long you’re sure he can feel your pulse jump each time a new bruise begins to form.

“jeonghan—” you gasp out his name as he moves lower to your collarbones, teeth scratching along your skin as he stares up at you through his pretty long lashes, never breaking the eye contact despite how you writhe beneath him.

“that’s a good girl,” he says, his mouth hovering over your nipple as he looks up at you. “let me hear all those pretty sounds you make. need to hear how good i’m making you feel.”

his tongue laves over your breast and you arch your back up into him, struggling to keep your voice from breaking as you reply with another “yes, sir”.

you’re aware that he’s still teasing you as he works his way down your body, taking longer than necessary to get to where you really want him to be. but the feeling of his mouth covering every inch of your skin is too good to pass up, despite the way your cunt throbs and the uncomfortable feeling of your ruined panties sticking to your soaked folds.

but finally, mercifully, he must decide that even he’s had enough teasing for one night, because he slides down in between your legs, pressing a kiss to your clit over the fabric of your underwear.

you exhale as tears begin to form in your eyes, already exhausted from being edged and denied and he’s still barely done a thing. “god, fuck— hannie, please, more, please give me more, please—” you babble, your hands gripping the sheets below you until your fingers begin to numb.

usually when you piss him off it’ll take a lot more begging than that to get him to cave, but he must be feeling generous today because he just smiles, fingertips hooking into the waistband of your underwear as he slides them down your legs. “sound so nice when you beg, angel. now look at how you get rewarded when you behave.”

“wait, jeongha—”

and that’s all the warning you get before he dives in. his hands pry apart your thighs, roughly pinning your legs to the bed as his mouth wraps around your clit and he begins to suck as hard as he can. your vision goes black for a second as you struggle to process the sudden stimulation, and your brain can’t catch up quick enough with how fast and rough jeonghan’s tongue moves against you in unpredictable patterns and movements.

you open your mouth to tell him that you’re right at the edge, you’re close you’re so fucking close it feels like you might die, but your breath catches in your throat before you can say a word and you feel yourself start to crest into your orgasm without warning.

until jeonghan pulls away, and your pussy clenches hard around nothing but air. the sudden change in pace is jarring, but it’s already too late to stop yourself from falling over the edge; except the edge is gone, your orgasm ruined at just the right moment.

your chest tightens and your lungs burn, gasping for air as your orgasm crumbles away into nothingness. each pulse of your cunt sears through your entire body and your veins feel like they’re on fire, the usual pleasure from your high stopped short by jeonghan taking it away from you.

in the back of your mind you realize that of course he could tell you were close, of course he kept going and of course he knew exactly when to stop so that you wouldn’t get a single ounce of pleasure out of it, because he just knows you that well. even if you had tried to hide it, you wouldn’t have been able to: whatever jeonghan does, your body listens and obeys.

the tears finally spill down your cheeks, eyes squeezed shut as you scream in frustration, every nerve in your body on edge and every muscle tensed.

when you regain your breath enough to open your eyes again, you see jeonghan sitting below you looking smug. “oops,” he says nonchalantly, and if you had any energy left in your body you would’ve slapped him.

“god, i hate you so fucking much,” you rasp out, and he grins contentedly and presses a little kiss to the inside of your thigh before he sits up.

“you know you love me,” he giggles.

he reaches over to the table to turn off the camera and set his phone facedown before he moves out from between your legs. you close your eyes again and sigh, your whole body feeling like jelly as you breathe in and out, slowly coming back down to earth.

“you just wanna take a break, or are you done for tonight? that sounded rough,” jeonghan says, and when you open your eyes again he’s sitting next to you on the bed holding a glass of water. with a groan you force yourself to sit up as he holds the glass in front of your mouth to help you drink.

“if i could move my arms right now, i would splash this right in your face, hannie.”

he laughs, thoroughly used to your post-orgasmic insults by now. “and honestly, i’d deserve it. that was a little mean even for me, huh?”

you snort, leaning your head back against the headboard. “yeah, it was. asshole.”

he smiles, his eyes much softer now than before. “but it was hot, though,” he says excitedly. “i can’t fucking wait to watch that video. it might be my new favorite.”

you glare at him, eyebrows knitted into a pout. “i was literally on the verge of death and you thought it was hot?”

“oh, shut up. you thought it was hot, too, and you know it. that’s why you do your little brat routine every time i start recording, because you know you love it.”

you don’t have the brainpower to come up with a comeback for that, because he’s right. rough and nasty and fast is exactly the way you like it, maybe even more than he does at times. but once that feral side of you is satiated with an orgasm powerful enough to nearly knock you out, it leaves you to better appreciate the other things he’s good at: like holding you close and making you feel safe and loved, or kissing you all over and making sure he didn’t really hurt you with anything he did, or helping you drink water when your bones feel like mush.

you huff and roll your eyes at him. “can you just fuck me now, please? i’m still mad at you. start making up for it.”

he sets your empty glass down on the table and climbs back over you to gently kiss your lips, still dry from how much you were moaning. “mm, of course i can do that. your wish is my command, angel.”

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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xecutivecucumber · 6 months

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Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch 03x09!

Spoilers under the cut

Apologies for this being late, I worked overtime and then immediately went to rescue my sister and her kids from a car breakdown. I got overwhelmed pretty quick.

I really liked this episode, but as I was in a not great mood when I watched it, I didn't absorb as much as I normally do. (My mood really affects how much I enjoy something, regardless of quality. I was in a foul mood when I first watched Faster and was fairly critical of it. I was wrong.)

This is really the first time we've seen not beautiful weather on Pabu and that's terrifying.

CROSSHAIR IS PART OF A COMMUNITY!!! Have yall considered that he's never been a part of a community before? Like yes, he's has his family, but a community?

'Does it matter? We're not giving her up.' This man. I love this man. If Tech did not already reign Supreme in my heart, I think Crosshair would be my favorite character in Star Wars.

ASAJJ VENTRESS MY QUEEEEEEEEEN

Oh Omega, that story fell apart faster than Hunter's resistance to adopting you.

They leave a space for Tech 💔

Apparently those blood tester things that Qui Gon had were Jedi issue only.

YOU CAN DO IT OMEGA!!! Wrecker, honey, if Omega CAN do it, that means her life gets WAY harder.

They one hundred percent sent Crosshair to look at Tech's data because Hunter and Wrecker can barely do it.

'Go get a flower kid, I gotta beat up your dads'

Okay, I honestly think Hunter doesn't have the time for romance and could honestly see him as asexual, but-

HIS WAIST IS SO SLUTTY. HOW IS IT SO SLUTTY.

I don't think we've seen such well choreographed hand to hand fighting in animated Star Wars. Except maybe that time that Rex absolutely destroyed those Zygerrians. But I might be biased about that.

'SHE'S A WAR CRIMINAL OMEGA' Okay now I need to know what defines war crimes in this universe. Did they have space Geneva?

You know, good thing Echo's not here. He'd probably be WAY more pissed than these three.

'You're naive' says the man who was changed by the child saying people can change.

I love Crosshair's 'oh shoot she's right' face.

Wrecker's little gasp when Ventress looks at them is AMAZING.

I love it when Star Wars is using the Force to connect with animals.

I'm sorry, Hunter girlies, I guess we getting wet hair everyone except Hunter. (Though Ventress looks SO GOOD)

VENTRESS YOU QUEEN I LOVE YOU YOU'VE COME SO FAR (I haven't read dark disciple but my sister has, and she informed me that Vos' Dark Side training by Ventress culminated in him summoning a water monster and killing it. This is such a beautiful parallel that she calms it.)

Crosshair helping Omega on is my everything.

I really love that Crosshair has decided to give Ventress a chance, because he was given a chance. (And also I lowkey ship them in a one night stand kinda way. Crossajj is such a good ship name too)

DAD DUO.

I don't think Ventress is lying when she says Omega isn't Force sensitive. Omega doesn't show ANYTHING in this episode that implies that she's sensitive. Yes, she uses Batcher, but she'd trained Batcher with normal friend methods. I think that Ventress stops the testing prematurely before she can be more sure, because she sees the possibly unhealthy attachment the Batch have. It might also be to protect Omega to not know for sure. My personal theory is that Omega is slightly more sensitive than the average clone, but not to any natural talent degree.

Oh gosh, I'm so scared for the next few episodes. Ventress gives them such a clear warning. This episode did such a good job of getting the tension tight again.

I know some people call this episode redundant, but the characters NEED this in order to catch up. We as an audience knew that M Counts meant midichlorians. But the Batch had no idea. Sometimes, we need to let the main characters catch up with us.

(This is also why Tech as CX-2 works on a reveal level because the mystery isn't for us, it's for the characters)

But yeah, a great episode! I'm terrified for everything and everyone!

A quick note- I've seen people say that it's too late in the season for Tech to return. I'd like to remind you that it took exactly two episodes in season 2 to get us behind Crosshair's redemption. They can do a lot in a few episodes.

#the bad batch #tbb #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb spoilers #tbb omega #tbb s3 spoilers #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter #asajj ventress #tbb tech #tbb echo #tbb batcher #tech lives #take a deep breath #things are going to go downhill from here

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tunaababee · 6 months

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gonna get really sappy and DEEPLY tmi/personal about twenty one pilots on main so im gonna put it under a cut. i am cringe but i am free and clancy tour coming up is giving me Feelings

i've been a top fan since 2016. i initially had some resistance to them bc it was when Stressed Out was at its peak and like, yall know how oversaturation goes. even if its good, its fucking annoying by proxy. all the 12/13 year olds at my high school were into it. i was turning 17. and it was a really fucking rough year.

i've been deep into homestuck since i was about 14/15, but by age 16 i had branched out into text-based rp and met a guy from italy who i kind of had a situationship with i guess?? at the time?? idk if that's what the kids call it. (whenever i describe how many relationships ive had, i count this one as a 0.5) anyways. it eventually got to a point where he was emotionally abusing me for a period of about four months. it was brief, but intense, especially since im a fucking lovesick lonely teen at this point who doesnt know any better. he lovebombs me, talks to me and acts like i am his girlfriend, gets jealous and shitty if i talk about other people, but then the moment he goes and does the same shit i get told i'm the reason he was depressed, im the reason for his problems, etc. until he calmed down and placated me and won me over again. over and over, regularly, for four months. it was a lot for my little developing brain to handle.

i know people have had it longer, have had it worse, but it really left a lasting impact. i was left with a litany of abandonment issues, and self-esteem and image that was already bad was buried dead in the fucking ground. i wanted to die every single fucking day for those four months. he even told me, as i began to question my sexuality properly, that i couldnt be bi 'because i liked him'.

but he LOVED twenty one pilots. would quote their shit regularly. wore the merch. all that stuff.

by 2016 i'd managed to see clearly enough and have enough support from friends that i felt comfortable cutting him and his circle off permanently. and it was fucking hard. i didn't have a lot of irl friends at the time and it felt like my only support network. after i finally left, i was desperate to feel some semblance of control, take something back, my own personal little 'fuck you' i could carry in my heart.

with all the hype around them, i gave top a try. slowly eased my way in. i knew i was hooked when i heard Holding On To You for the first time. it made me feel like i could take back that control and find a light at the end of the tunnel.

i consumed everything they had put out after that. i saw them live at emotional roadshow sydney 2017, i was turning 18. i made so many new friends. i felt such hope in my heart. i sobbed so fucking hard when they played HOTY. they weren't the only reason i made it through, itd be naive to contribute everything to them when i've done a lot of work and so have the people around me, but they were like a lifeline to hold on to when things were hard.

i went and saw them again in 2018 for the bandito tour. i made my own outfit and was surrounded by people who had done the same. i made more friends, had more adventures. i was dropping out of high school the year that Trench released due to having the worst mental health i'd had probably since my abuse and felt so lost but it helped me feel a little more stable and grounded. like that light was still there.

a lot has happened since. i'll be 25 when i go see them in November, once again at Qudos Bank Arena in sydney. i'm in a happy relationship with someone i love who respects me. i'm doing things that make me happy. i'm happy. i've felt and experienced and lived and loved and lost and done so so so much since i was a scared 16 year old hearing them for the first time. i've gotten piercings and tattoos, something i never thought i'd do, and put their work permanently on my body. i'm so proud every time i see my tattoo on my arm. i genuinely love and accept myself exactly as i am, which is something i NEVER thought i'd do.

having Clancy come out nine years to the day from blurryface, an album that has been so deeply important to me in a lot of ways, gets me real misty. this entire tour gets me so misty. i didn't think i'd live past 18 at BEST. but i'm here and i'm fucking happy.

genuinely cannot emphasise how much this album and this tour means to me. i plan on getting a Clancy tattoo once the album comes out and i've had some time to sit with it. it feels very full circle, i guess. hearing Next Semester has just had me thinking about this constantly and all weepy all the time haha. but a good weepy.

i cannot fucking wait to scream in a stadium full of people again in a way that heals my heart.

#twenty one pilots #tw suicide mention #tw abuse mention #i wasnt kidding when i said i get real fucking tmi in here #my household already has to deal with me rambling about them all the time lol so tumblr gets the deep and meaningful

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voulezloux · 9 months

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annual writing self-evaluation

thank you lou @nouies for the tag! having to do self reflection is hard yall

also i wrote this on a google doc so ignore the fact everything is properly capitalized

1. List of works published this year:

One chance (kiss him you fool)

Nights like these

Your right now, your forever, your last call, your whatever

Defying stars

Always had that heart of mine

Part time soulmates (full time problem)

It’s the summer of our love

If it feels like love (then it must be love)

Make my wish come true

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Defying stars! I’ve always wanted to write a marching band au and i finally got to do it. I’m also proud of part time soulmates (full time problem) because it was so much fun to write

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I am not very happy with how one chance (kiss him you fool) turned out. I had so many idea for it and none of them came to fruition. I wish i spent more time working on it and i wish i could describe things better than i can

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From part time soulmates (full time problem)

Harry nods, continuing his tirade on a table. “Why don’t you want to bond?”

Louis freezes mid throw. “What?”

“You said you didn’t want to bond when we first found out. What makes you not want to bond?”

Louis throws the plate on the ground. “That’s a bit personal, innit?” He laughs. “My mum.”

The air is filled with a sad smell, obviously coming from Louis. Harry resists the urge to wrap his arm around the omega, to comfort him. His stomach is turning in a bad way, and he wants to take back the question.

Before he can, Louis continues, “My mum was bonded three times, twice it failed. Watching her go through the pain of breaking a bond was awful, and I had to protect my siblings from seeing the worst of it. I always…” He sighs. “I always thought I’d be an alpha so I could control when I would get bonded. But then I presented as an omega and I, I don’t know. I guess everything changed and I didn’t want to go through the pain an omega would have to go through if a bond was broken.”

Harry is left speechless, and it’s harder now to not want to console the omega. “Louis…”

“No, don’t do that,” Louis points the plate in his hand he was going to throw at Harry. “You’re not about to feel bad for the poor omega who has trauma. You’re going to smash this plate and you’re going to be mad.”

I always love strong, independent omega louis and this is by far one of my favorite examples of this

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I always love when people respond to my author’s notes at the end. Idk it makes me feel like people actually care about what i’m writing and i’m not just screaming into the void. I have a lot of issues with feeling like my works are liked and/or loved and that people care about what i’m writing, so when people read and respond to my author’s notes, it makes me feel seen.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Whenever i get close to a deadline, i start panicking even if i have the fic most of the way finished. So, deadlines man.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I wrote two rare pairs this year and one of them included ryan ross! Writing ryan was a challenge since i’ve not written anything that wasn’t larry or phan in years, and i’m very happy with how that fic turned out.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have no idea. Someone tell me how i grew as a writer bc i’m los

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Hopefully more fics that are of my own will (meaning non fic fest fics, all but one of my fics this year was a fic fest fic, and the one that wasn’t from a fest was an exchange). I have ideas that have been put on the back burner due to fic fests.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

All of my friends, but especially rei (they don’t use tumblr anymore). I met rei during phandom big bang one year (they were my beta) and, even though they are into kpop and i’m into 1d, rei always listens to my coked up ideas for fics i wanna write and even the fics i read. Love you bro (even though you won’t see this) (jk i'll show this to them)

Bonus mentions for fandom friends are lou (@nouies) and andi (@tommokat). Lou because she is a wonderful person and always gasses me up when needed and andi because she lets me bounce ideas off of her and helps me with my fics.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! Defying stars i stole a lot of things from that fic from my real life in high school. Biggest example from that fic is the marching band show from my freshman year, which was also called starcrossed!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Do not get discouraged if a fic you are excited about doesn’t perform well with readers. Fic in it of itself is self indulgent and as long as you like it, it’s worth writing. If people also enjoy it, then it’s a bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m writing in my first ever 1d big bang! I don’t want to give out too many details (it involves a non conventional character and i’m deathly terrified of backlash) but it’s a labor of love. I’ve been wanting to write this kind of fic for a long time and i’m glad i have an opportunity to write it.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read!

@tommokat @larryatendoftheday and @alwaysxlarrie

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

#o posts #my fic #thank u lou for the tag!#self reflection is hard but i enjoyed it

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knightyoomyoui · 2 years

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Sana x M Reader- “Ikaw Pa Rin” (It’s Still You)

Happy 24K reads and and also a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR SHIBA INU, BUBBLY SQUIRREL, GIRLFRIEND COLLECTOR, SANAKE, ULTIMATE BIAS WRECKER, MS. SHY SHY SHY, *inhales and exhales* DUALITY GODDESS AND ONCE'S ROYAL PRINCESS, Minatozaki Sana!

As a commemoration of her special day today and being true from what I mentioned on my announcement I gave days ago, HERE'S A TRIPLE UPDATE FOR YALL READERS!

But beware, this has an angst also just like the female reader featured one yet don't worry cuz the additional special one-shot will be FULL ON FLUFF.

Also, as you can see in the title ... it's in a different language called Tagalog (which is my native language and yes, I am a Filipino) so I guess you guys have a clue already on what you would encounter in this story, but don't worry... I tried my best to translate although it's not a bit perfectly accurate.

Lastly, these three new updates will be my final ones for this year and also to finally close Set 4 before I go on to my indefinite hiatus.

(This story is based on a Filipino song titled "Ikaw Pa Rin" by mrld. Go and give it a listen because I swear the song is so good!)

I wish you all again A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

---------- START ----------

You were standing in front of the altar with your friend and the priest nearby.

All of the visitors were staring in the same direction as you through the closed huge door.It suddenly opened. A dazzling light from outside greeted everyone within the church initially, until a figure slowly enters, highlighted by the light behind her.

Minatozaki Sana, the love of your life, finally enters the chapel in her white wedding gown. She had everyone's attention, even yours.

Of course, who can resist looking at how stunning she looks in white?

As she gradually began to go down the aisle, each step she took and her presence drawing closer to you reminded you of all the memories you shared with her, dating back to when you two first met.

(25 YEARS AGO - 1997)

You were 8 years old when you went with your Filipino parents to a friend's wedding at Manila Catheral in Intramuros, Manila, Philippines.

You were standing behind your father, who was now conversing with some of his associates, when he spotted you glancing around, quiet and unsure of what to do or why you were staying with him.

He kneeled in front of you and placed his hand on your shoulder. "Nak, huwag kang magpapalayo ha? Dito ka lang, babalikan kita kapag malapit na magstart okay?" (Son, don't get too far. Just stay here, I will return to you when it's about to start, okay?), your father Mr. Torres, told you with his small smile in the end of his words.

"Opo, papa.", you nodded at him before he patted your head.

"Good, sige dito ka lang muna ha? Puntahan ko lang mga ibang bisita natin.", (Good, all right, just stay here first, right? I'm just going to see our other guests.) you nodded your head once again before your father walked next to a group of people standing near at one of the statues of the saints displayed inside the church.

You decided to walked into the front of the church and sat at one of the steps in its staircase.

Pulling out your phone in your small bean bag, you opened it and pressed some installed game of yours to play with.

During your playtime, you suddenly heard someone crying near at you which got curious.

You tried to ignore it but it just seems to keep on getting louder. It raised your concern.

"Kanino yun?", (Whose is that?) you asked to yourself.

You paused your game for a while, putting it back to your bean bag as you stood up from your seat.

You turned your body and slowly walked to the side where some benches near the barricated plants are placed.

It made you saw that a girl sitting at the last bench, looking down on the ground while crying.

Worried at this girl who was exactly the same age as yours before, you slowly walked up to her and looked at where she's looking at.

There, you noticed that a melted ice cream was on the ground in front of her.

"Hey, bakit ka umiiyak? Anong nangyari sayo?", (Hey, why are you crying? What happened to you?) you asked the girl wearing a plain purple dress designed with an image of Betty Boop character on the chest.

She only glanced at you with a puzzled expression when you questioned her.

"Nani o itte iru?", (What are you saying?) she said. It made you furrow your eyebrows instantly as you didn't understood what she just said... however, that language sounded very familiar to your ears.

"Eh?"

"I- I said I... don't know much Tagalog...", she stuttered as she translated for you on what she meant to respond at your question.

"Oh... sorry. You speak English and...? Wait, are you a foreigner?", you started to speak English the same as her since she does look like she can speak with it after all too.

"Yes, Japanese.", her tiny voice declared her nationality. That confirmed your initial thoughts after hearing her familiar language, though you're confident that you're right.

The advantages of playing multilingual video games, you thought.

"Woah, so you're from Japan? Cool.", you said in awe, shocked that you just met a foreigner too early in your age. "I am a Filipino though."

"Me too. I- I'm half.", she revealed to you the reason why she can atleast understand a bit of Tagalog words, making you gasp. Her mom was actually a Filipina while her father is a Japanese, hence giving her a half Filipino- half Japanese race.

"So, why are you crying?"

"Ice cream... nahulog? (fell) Was that the word?", she asked you, wanting to know if the Tagalog word she picked to explain was accurate.

"Yeah it is.", you answered, impressed and confused that she can somehow learn how to use some words she knew already well.

"Ohh... now I know. Is that your favorite?", she only nodded while pouting her lips. She looked really cute.

You went silent as you think of a way to cheer her up.

"Wait, stay here and I'll be back.", you said to her after finally gaining an idea to do so. She mouthed okay while continuing to wipe out her tears as you left her for a minute, returning back inside the church.

Afterwards, you returned with money on your hand. You went towards Sana who is still silent and sniffling as she cleaned her reddish wet eyes from crying.

"Follow me, I'm giving you something.", she just listened to you although she hd no clue what are you're planning to do for her

You and her went to the ice cream truck parked in front of the chapel. Her eyed shined as she was now back at the truck where she bought her wasted ice cream.

"Pabili po ng isang strawberry at isang mango. Eto po bayad.", (Can I buy one strawberry and one mango. Here's the payment.) you said to the ice cream vendor man who followed your order.

He started to prepare it, scooping two three times on the chosen flavor and putting it on the cones.

All finished, the vendor gave to you the two ice creams you bought.

"Salamat po." (Thank you.)

After receiving it, you gave the mango-flavored ice cream to Sana who is still staring in surprise at you.

You observed a while ago that the flavor of the ice cream she dropped was mango so you just ordered the same then.

"Take it. It's yours.", you said to Sana, lending the mango ice cream to her.

"B-but... I don't have any money to give back...", she shyly looked away, swaying her body back and forth slowly.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine.", you shook your head. "It's my family's money and I wanted to get some ice cream too so... to be fair, I just bought us one each."

Enough to be satisfied at your defense and just let you do what you want since you assured her, she accepted it. "T-thank you."

You licked at your chocolate flavored ice cream before asking and introducing yourself to her. "I am YN, what is your name?"

"Sana.", she smiled, her fluffy cheek inflated with it, contributing to her cuteness.

"Okay, nice to meet you Sana...", you gave your hand to her for a handshake gesture which she unreluctantly accepted. " Uhh do you want to sit with me and watch me play games on my phone?"

"Yes!"

And because of that, Sana officially became your first childhood friend, starting a long impressive strong friendship with her.

She sat beside you on one of the steps in the staircase in front of the entrance door as she watched you beat down the boss of the level in the game you're playing on your phone.

(20 YEARS AGO - 2002)

You and Sana both entered high school in the same school also at 13 years old.Joining her on your first day of class, each sought on your respective classrooms where your section is assigned.

"Here is my room, my name is on the list.", you said to Sana after locating your name on the list posted at the wall beside the door of your classroom.

"Kimi wa dōdeshou? Samahan kita maghanap?" (How about you? Should I assist you on searching?), you asked her since she haven't found her room yet.

"It's fine, kahit huwag na YN.", Sana tried to reject your offer. She can also speak Tagalog now since you've been helping her Filipina mom to speak your native language for 3 years after she got to know about you being Sana's new found friend. You also want her to speak more comfortably and easier to understoood each other.

"May 20 minutes pa pala bago magstart.", (There's still 20 minutes left before it starts.) you said after looking at your phone. "Halika, hanapin nalang natin muna yung sayo.", (Come on, let's find yours first.) you didn't mind her declining anymore as you decided to initiate on your own to help her instead.

You and Sana proceeded at the next room adjacent to yours. Just like what you did, Sana tried to find her name if it belongs with the other names listed inside.

"Take your time."

Sana was gliding her eyes up and down while searching until it stopped when the surname initial M on the girls list caught her eyes.

Reading the full name, she immediately recognized it as hers.

"OH YN! YN, LOOK!", Sana excitingly called you as she points on the list. You followed where her finger is leading you and there, you read Sana's imprinted name; confirming that she now had a section and a room to enter everyday to participate in the class.

"Looks like we won't take us longer to find, magkatabi lang naman pala tayo ng room.", (Our rooms are just next to each other.) you chuckled.

"Mabuti nalang." (Thank goodness.), she stated, sighing in relief. "Sā, jugyō ni ikimashou, malapit na rin dumating teachers natin.", (Come on, let's go to class, our teachers will also come soon.) she bid goodbye to you for a while, stepping away from your side as she waved her hands.

"Okay. See you later sa recess Sana!"

"Okay!"

After the end of the class, you and her walked together again on your way home while eating your favorite street food with as both stopped by to buy some.

Before entering your house, you invited Sana to play together tomorrow since it's weekend. As her suggestion, she wants you rather to teach her how to ride the bike as she admitted that she kinda felt jealous seeing you few days ago bringing your newly bought bike with you into your house.

Since that's what she wanted to do with you, you were eager to oblige and granted her request; setting a different plan on your time with her tomorrow.

The next day, you lived up to your words as you taught her by letting her borrow your bike for tutorial. As you keep on teaching her the techniques and tips to help her focus and balance riding on the bike, Sana attentively listens to her friend's lessons.

"Ulitin natin?" (Let's repeat again?), you asked her, still holding her to support her posture for balancing. Shenodded her head as a yes in response.

"Okay... 1,2,3 Pedal!", you let go of her as you gently pushed her to some minor force, allowing Sana to do the work as she started moving her legs to drive the bike.

She observed that she wasn't falling yet as she just kept continuing on pedaling the bike, maintaining the wheels to stood straight while rolling across the road and guiding her away from you. "YN!!!", she shouted in glee as she's getting a glimpse of success on what she's doing.

"Yan sige tuloy lang! (Yes, go keep on going!) Keep your eyes straight!", you reminded her by yelling, forming your hands like a megaphone to echo your voice for her to hear.

"AAAAAAA YN!"

"Anatanara dekiru! (You can do it!)", you cheered her more before you were satisfied enough at her progress.

"YES! STOP, STOP THE BIKE NOW, SANA.", she listened to your direction, pulling the brake to lessen the speed of the bike. She slowly hopped out from the seat as she ran in front of you.

"Oh my God, nakita mo yun YN?!", (Oh my God, did you see that YN?!) she asked you with those huge gorgeous grin on her face.

"Yup, malinaw na malinaw.", (Yup, very clear.) you said confidently to her.

"AAAAAA MARUNONG NAKO MAGBIKE!", (I KNOW HOW TO BIKE NOW!) she squealed, raising her pair of arms and wiggled it in joyfulness. You just calmly laughed at her actions.

"HAHAHAHAHAH see? I told you na madali lang. But keep on practicing okay? Para masanay ka talaga lalo.", (I told you it's easy. But keep on practicing okay? So you can really get used to it.) you said to her, presenting your hands forming a thumbs up as your another way to inform her that she did a good job.

"Gusto ko umulit pero siguro bukas ko nalang itutuloy.", (I want to repeat again but maybe I will just continue it tomorrow.) she lets out a slightly dismayed expression.

"Why? Pagod kana?", (You're already tired?) she nodded her head while pouting her lips to tell you silently that she is.

"Oh sige, pahinga muna tayo dito bago tayo umuwi.", (Oh well, let's rest here before we go home.) you said as you sat on the sidewalk in front of your house while she took the space beside yours, drinking the water inside her tumbler.

After a few minutes, you saw the sky about to turn dark for the sun the start setting down and let the moon in for nighttime. Both of you decided to return in your respective homes.

"Oshiete kurete arigatō (Thank you for teaching me), YN-kun", she gave her gratitude to you after you escorted her in front of her house.

"Daijōbu (No problem),-sana chan.", you smiled at her.

"If masanay na talaga ako, pwede bang sabayan moko mag bike?" (If I really get used to it, can you always join me on riding our bikes together?)

"Yeah, sure. Gusto ko yan.", (Yeah, sure. I like that.) you accepted her favor. "Another way of bonding narin natin." (Another way of our own bonding together.)

"YAYYYYY!!! SALAMAT ULIT YN!", (THANK YOU YN!) she exclaimed again in excitement and happiness. You just laughed at her before it halted in a snap when you just experienced for the first time what she did next to you that completely transformed your perspective on your childhood bestfriend.

She leaned her against face closer against you and planted a soft kiss on your left cheek then releasing it with a tiny smooch sound. Your eyes sprung wide in astonishment when she did that unexpectedly.

"BYEEE HEHE", she said goodbye to you before sprinting ahead inside her house.

"B-bye... Sana.", you only spoke that under your breath, unable to make her hear as she already closed her door quickly, leaving you standing alone still in disbelief at the kiss she just gave you.

If you could have seen your reflection at that moment, you would have noticed the heavy blush created around your cheeks, particularly in the spot where she kissed you, which troubled you for days as you gradually began to grow fascinating profound affection for Sana while thinking whether did that kiss meant something else.

(15 YEARS AGO - 2007)

You and Sana turned 18 years old and both were still studying at the same school as seniors.

It was the month of February and Valentines Day has arrived. You just left the auditorium where your club just held a meeting and ended it exactly in recess for the members to have lunch before returning to your classes.

Walking down the hallway, you encountered Sana who was walking too along with some... gifts in her hands that she's carrying with. It made you became suspicious on whoever gave that to her.

"YN!!!"

"Hey, Sana," you said to her. You cast a downward glance at the paper bag and flowers in her hands. She hadn't even responded yet, but you had a suspicion you wouldn't like what she was about to say, which made you uneasy.

"Ano iyang mga dala mo?" (What are those you're carrying?)

"Well... hehe eto?", she looked down on the gifts she's holding, her smile seemed embarassed and fluttered which got you gulped nervously.

"Ahh may nagbigay sakin." (Ahh, somebody gave these to me.)

Just like that, your smile immediately shrinked down.

"Woah... seryoso? May nagbigay sayo ng Valentines Gift?"

"Yup! Shōgeki-tekidesu yo ne?(Shocking, right?)", she giggled. "Hindi ko nga ineexpect na may magbibigay sakin eh pero... heto." (I didn't even expected that there will be somebody who will give to me but... here it is.), she reached the thing inside the paper bag, which revealed to be a squirrel plushie.

"Ang cute diba?!" (It's cute, right?), she asked you as she gripped it tightly.

You can see in her face that she was really happy with the gift she received, but that wasn't supposed to make you happy for her because... it should've been you who had to make her feel like that.

You were now having a crush on Sana since 7th grade where the kiss she gave to you on that weekend awakened and bloomed something different in your heart that you never felt before when it come to her.

And that is none other than this crazy little thing called love.

You started to act more active whenever you're with her, giving her some hints or signs that everything you've been doing for her holds a different reason with all of it.

But unfortunately, her heart was too blind to make her see it all. Her kiss that she gave to you back then was just nothing but a false hope.

That is because she was the polar opposite of you, she doesn't see and think of you more than just a friend. She only stays like that for you.

Most importantly, how could she even develop a loving fond to you if she wasn't even interested at all to you? Instead, her attention is all set on this other unknown guy that she found probably from the other class who was the same mysterious person that gave her these precious gifts for Valentines.

"A-ah... oo." (yes), you agreed. It really does cute, also looks like same as her because for sure that guy knows also that Sana has a similarity and considers hamsters as her spirit animal.

"Ang sweet naman ng nagbigay sayo. Baka naman... c-crush ka nun?", (Whoever gave you that is so sweet, could it be... that one has a crush on you?) you tried to tease her but that only left a bitter taste in your mouth when you said it.

"S-sana nga... (I hope so)", she hoped. It hurted you, hearing this girl that made you fall in love with, wishing that the other guys she prefers than you would want her too.

It's almost as if you felt like she doesn't even need your love at all because she has this one that she would likely glad to have more of.

"O-oh sige, balik nako sa room ko.", (O-oh okay, I'll go back to my room.) you excused yourself to her, only to escape this conversation you're having with her because you don't know whether you could insert yourself to it much longer and hear more inappopriate story about that guy who gave her the gifts. "Need ko magreview konti sa quiz namin." (I need to review a little on our quiz.)

"Okiii goodluck YN!"

"Thanks.", you solemnly said before entering to your classroom and went back to your seat.

You sat down as you sighed off the pain that you were enduring after what Sana commented regarding your teasing.

You unzipped your bag hanging in the back of your classmate's seat and there, what contains inside made you grimace completely in remorse.

Inside your bag was supposed to be your Valentines gift you were about to give to Sana today. But after what you just witnessed and heard from her, you guessed that it would rather need to be cancelled instead because someone already went ahead of you already of doing so for Sana.

"I guess this wasn't needed anymore. May nauna naman na sakin.", (Someone has already made it first before me. you muttered to yourself before closing again and laid your head to your armdesk, spending the whole 10 minutes break remaining for a short nap in loneliness.

As you went home with Sana, you regretted pulling off a cold treatment to Sana throughout the rest of the walk as she tried to share her stories with you about what happened to her today, including the full summary about her admirer giving her the gifts you examined a while ago.

When she spotted your blank expression, you just reasoned that you weren't feeling well. She wished you to get well and hugged you before entering her house, earning atleast an uplifting moment from her today to recover from earlier.

"Hi Ma", you greeted your mother who is sitting in the couch, scrolling on her phone.

"Musta ang klase anak?", (How is the class, son?) your mother Mrs. Torres, asked you as you gave her a respectful bless by the hand after walking closer to her.

"Okay lang naman po.", (It's just okay.) you lie but thankfully it was enough convincing for her to accept.

"Good, kikilos na muna ako sa kusina at nang maipagluto na kita ng paborito mong ulam ngayon.", (Good, I'll go ahead for now in the kitchen so that I can cook for you your favorite dish today. ) well that atleast made your mood brightened up a little bit.

"Yey! Patawag nalang po ako, ma. Magpapahinga lang po ako sa taas.", (Yay! Can you please just call me, mom? I'm just going to rest upstairs.) she got it understood as you made your way upstairs.

Entering your bedroom with your uniform still around your body, you laid down on the bed. The smile you're wearing in front of your mother disappeared.

You opened your bag and took out your supposed to be gifts for Sana: a flower and a box of chocolates. To keep it handy, you planned to give it to your father later as an additional Valentine's present for your mother when he returns to home instead.

You opened his phone and saw a new message notification from Sana's account.

You clicked to look at its contents which made you saw two recently sent pictures, one is the gifts Sana received and one is her picture with the guy who gave her gifts, which revealed to be the most popular guy around the campus because of his intelligence and good looks in your batch year named Seth.

You closed again your phone and placed it beside you, staring through the ceiling as you felt saddened that you already considered yourself defeated knowing that you have no match against someone like Seth.

(10 YEARS AGO - 2012)

You and Sana both graduated and finished your four years of college education. In recognition of your accomplishment with her, both of your parents agreed to attend dinner together, where they showered you two with praises and congratulatory notes.

Not forgetting about your own ways of having fun with Sana, she urged you to join her and Seth tomorrow going outside to hang out.

Yes, Seth unintentionally became your friend just because when Sana introduced you to him. There was no uncertainty that some girls would fall for him based on your observations of him. He actually embodies what a woman's ideal man might be in reality.

Although he is a pure Filipino just like you, his appearance seems like he is a foreigner just like Sana, his facial features might even reach and qualify to the standards of men's looks in other countries.

You wanted to say no ofcourse because you know that these two both share the same mutual strong admiration towards each other.

And you don't want to take the VIP pass just to see them being lovey-dovey throughout your whole time being with them while you're still having a crush wth Sana, considering it as a torture to your heart.

But, not wanting to disappoint Sana that you declined the opportunity to spend time with her and also to your friend Seth, you just accepted her invitation and there you are with them in the park, sitting on the bench as you used your phone for a while to entertain yourself while waiting for them to return.

Sana approached you while holding two hamburgers on her hands.

"YN!", she called your name, grabbing your attention away from your phone. You looked up her and saw her giving you the other wrapped burger she had in her right hand.

You took it from her willingly. "Thank you."

"May binili pa si Seth kaya pinahatid niya nalang muna sa akin yung sayo.", (Seth still bought something else so he sent yours to me first.) she said, pointing her thumb backwards.

"Drinks?"

"Yeah."

"Lawak ng ngiti mo ngayon ah.", (Your smile is so wide today, huh.) you said after spotting her apparent big grin pasted on her face. That grin that never fails to melt your heart when you see how captivating it is.

"Anong iniisip mo?", (What are you thinking?) you asked her teasingly, wiggling your eyebrows while smirking.

"Aah... oo nga pala, a-ano kasi... nag-usap kami ni Seth kanina.", (Aah... yes, by the way, what... Seth and I talked earlier.) she said sheepishly.

"And?"

"Tinanong niya ako kung gusto niya ba daw akong maging girlfriend so... (He asked me if he wanted me to be his girlfriend so...)

... YES sinagot ko agad siya.", (YES I answered him immediately.) she said that one word that rang into your eyes annoyingly.

Your heart felt like it just stopped beating when you heard it. Body frozen, breath stolen, heart clenching. All of that happened simulteanously because of that single statement.

A game where you are completely dominated by the final boss leading you to a game over. That's exactly what it felt like when Sana said that one yes to do, confirming your biggest fear when it comes to her.

That game is called "Race For Sana's Heart", you were the challenger and the final boss was none other than Seth who just beat you easily, claiming the victory you tried your best to fight for.

It was unfair if you will look on the other angle, because Seth has the advantage already since that prize he's chasing for chooses him to be as the rightful possessor more than you.

"O-oh... so... kayo na?" (Oh, so... you two are now together?), your smile shifted into a fake one. Every pound of your heart to your chest was getting heavier and intense in pain the more you look at her happy state you know who's capable of doing that to her every single day.

"Hai,-sōdesu. (Yes, we are) Boyfriend ko na siya.", she nodded with a smile.

You tightened your lips and sighed. Eyes were blinking rapidly, fighting the urge to cry in front of her to avoid worrying her because of your stupid crush issue. "W-wow... nice. C-congrats sa inyong dalawa, Sana. Di ko inexpect h-ha?" (W-wow... nice. C-congrats to both of you, Sana. I didn't expect it huh?)

"Yah, sorry. Kita ko nga sayo na gulat ka.", (Yeah, sorry. I can really see that you are surprised.) she chuckled, slapping your arm that made your body broke out in its frozen form.

The sting came from the impact of her hit didn't do much damage to you because you are completely numb as of the moment due to your heart shattering in half.

"Masyadong out of nowhere. Puntahan ko lang ulit siya ha?" (Too out of nowhere. I'll just go back to him, okay?)

"Sure.", you nodded your heard, giving her the permission to return back to her now-proclaimed boyfriend Seth.

Watching her shrink from your sight, you wandered your eyes around at the park to distract yourself just so you won't be bawling your eyes out in tears after learning that your crush was now successfully claimed by someone else.

(6 YEARS AGO - 2016)

You spent your day-off and what better way to do so than having your childhood bestfriend Sana on your side throughout the entire day.

It was 9PM at night and drove her home by using your car after you ate with her in a restaurant and leaving the mall where you two went shopping together.

Parking the car just in front of the gate of her house and opening the headlights to light up the street, you turned your head to Sana who is sitting next to you on the drivers seat.

"Koko ni ita, (We're here) Sana", you informed her. She stretched her body posture, removing her back away from leaning onto the car seat.

"Oh... thank you, YN."

She was about to exit the car but you haven't pressed the button to unlock it, preventing her from going out because you remembered the main reason why you decided to bring her with you everywhere like the usual thing you do together since childhood.

"Wait... Sana, uhm... bago ka lumabas may sasabihin lang ako.", (before you go out I just want to say something.) you said, alerting her.

She glanced at you, curiousity struck her. "I'm all ears, YN. Sorehanandesuka? (What is it?)"

"May rason ako kung bakit talaga kita inimbita ngayon na lumabas tayo.", (I have a reason why I really invited you today for us to go out.) you looked away from her, setting your gaze to the steering wheel where you're holding at, tapping your fingers uneasefully.

"Uhm... kasi..." (because)

"Kasi ano?" (Because what?)

"Gusto ko munang magbonding tayo bago ako... umalis.", (I want us to go bonding together before I... leave.) you bitten your lower lip, closing your eyes as you felt the immense sadness you're feeling knowing that this would be the last time you'll get to meet her again for now.

"Umalis? Wait, YN... s-saan ka pupunta? (Leave? Wait, YN... w-where are you going?", she crunched her forehead, eyebrows nearly connecting in confusion.

"Well... yung company na pinagtatrabahuan ko inofferan ako ng kontrata sa isang company sa Canada for 6 years.", (Well... the company I was working for offered me a contract with a company in Canada for 6 years.) you shrugged your shoulders, eyes still watching your fingers grazing and sliding through the texture of the steering wheel nervously.

"Naexplain nila sakin ng maayos na mas magiging mataas yung sweldo na makukuha ko and opportunity narin na matuto ng marami sa field ng engineering." (They explained to me properly that the salary I will get will be higher and I will have the opportunity to learn a lot more in the field of engineering.

"Inisip ko sila mama, papa pati mga kapatid ko kaya ayun... k-kinuha ko.", "Pati rin ikaw, gusto ko mang tanggihan pero mas kailangan ito ng pamilya ko." (I thought of my mom, dad, and my siblings so... I took it. You too, I wanted to reject it but my family needs it more.) your voice lowered at the end before you mentally said those words you wanted to say to her.

"K-Kailan alis mo?" (W-when is your leave?)

"Bukas." (Tomorrow.)

"At mawawala ka ng... ilan? 6 years?", (And.. you'll disappear for... how many? 6 years?) you just nodded in response to her clarification.

"Tagal rin.", (Still long too.) she muttered, heaving out a sigh then her lips formed a pout. "Bale magaantay ako ng ganun kahaba para makita ulit bestfriend ko." (That means I'll be waiting that long to see my bestfriend again.)

"Kanashīkedo dō shiyō (It's sad but what could I do), pangarap mo yan and ang magagawa ko lang is to support you." (That's your dream and all I can do is support you.) , she lets out a bitter smile.

She holds your free hand laying on your lap firmly as glanced at it, sending chills through your skin.

"Pero thank you, dahil kahit papaano ako agad naalala mo bago ka umalis. Sapat na yun para hindi ako malungkot masyado sa pag alis mo.", (But thank you, because somehow you immediately remembered me before you leave. That's enough for me not to be too sad when you leave.) she showed a smile that's indicating she was touched by it.

"Ofcourse, ikaw yung long time b-bestfriend ko and masyado na tayong malapit sa isa't isa... dapat lang.", (Ofcourse, you are my long time b-bestfriend and we are too close to each other... it should be.) you said, stuttering at the word you wished it wasn't just your role to her life.

You gripped her hand, bending all your fingers to lock her hand within your warm grasp.

She narrowed her gap between you and her, pushing her body forward to wrap you in a hug for comfort, knowing that you were probably feeling very low that you won't be seeing her around for quite a long time starting tomorrow.

"I will miss you, YN. Mag-ingat ka doon ha?" (Be careful there, okay?), you heard her clearly that she started sniffing, signifying that she's getting teared up at how sad she's feeling seeing her bestfriend need to be gone afar to pursue a part of his dreams to come true.

"Noted, Sana. Gusto ko pa kitang makita syempre." (I still want to see you of course.), you chuckled, she felt your body vibrated because of your laughter. "Thank you for spending your time with me today.", you whispered to her as you pushed her closer through your body, enjoying how it feels so good to embrace the woman that had got head over heels for so long.

2 minutes later, you found Sana sleeping peacefully in your arms after noticing that it's becoming awkwardly quiet now inside the car, no one taking the dare to break the silence.

"Pagod ka na pala pero pinili paring makinig sakin. Hays, di talaga ako nagtataka bat gusto kita sobra.", you murmured under your breath, staring at her sleeping face placed on top of your broad shoulder. (You're tired but still choose to listen to me. Sigh, I'm not really surprised that I like you a lot.)

You carefully carried Sana in your arms in a bridal style and entered her house, greeting and reminding Mr. and Mrs. Minatozaki that their daughter is now asleep. They understood as they let you bring her to her own room.

Placing her in the bed and tucking in the blanket in her body, you looked at her peacefully sleeping face and cupped his cheek one last time before planting a kiss on it.

"Goodnight, Sana. Babalik ako para sayo, promise.", (I'll be back for you, promise.) you whispered to her as you swayed some strands of her hair away to unblock the view of her unreal beauty before leaving her room, marking the start of your 6 years disappearance as you left Philippines to Canada to continue your work there.

(PRESENT TIME - 2022)

Back in the present, your senses revived, teleporting you back to reality as flashbacks in your head stopped.

You were still standing in front of the altar, facing the audience... but not as the groom of the bride striding down the aisle, catching everyone's attention as if an angel had just descended within the sacred place.

Instead, you were picked as best man, and the wedding that was held today was none other than Sana and her partner Seth.

Sana reached the end of the path, both yours and her pair of eyes connected at each other.

You walked closer to her as she did the same, hands placed in your pants' pockets.

"Thank you, YN.", she mouthed to you with a smile escaped at the end.

"Welcome. C-congrats again, Sana.", you nodded, providing a timid smile before passing ahead of her, returning back to seat as you let her go to the man she was destined instead to share her love for the rest of her life in this world.

A little recall, during your stay in Canada in the entire 6 years; everyday before and after going to work... your mind and heart was filled by the same and only woman you loved.

When you were feeling exhausted, all you had to do was check up her images on your phone to restore your energy.

When you were longing for her, you basically drowned yourself out of reality by rewinding every wonderful moment you spent with her, either by zoning out or by watching videos you filmed with her.

When you're feeling down, you just call or speak with her like you normally do to keep in touch. Just seeing and hearing her voice especially her adorable laugh as she responds to your messages immediately puts a smile on your face.

Summaring it all, everything is just her. Aside from your parents, your other purpose of living is because of Sana.

Without one of these two, that purpose would quickly fade to black.

Just weeks ago, after you returned back in the Philippines; she was the first person you wanted to see as you landed in the airport.

After you arrived in your house with your luggages on hand, Sana was standing along with your parents. She immediately ran and crashed her body to wrap you in a tight, longing hug that she missed for 6 years.

Your heart blossomed in bliss after you got to able to touch her and witness her beautiful face once again. Noticing her new hairstyle which she colored her hair brown, that sidn't do much difference to her appearance anyways since she remained the same as always: deadly attractive.

As you decided to catch up those last times with her, she informed you about a news during your conversation with her that switched your mood in an instant.

She told you that she was now engaged to Seth after he proposed to her few months ago during their vacation in Boracay. She even showed you the engagement ring she has on her finger that took your attention when you saw it as she held her phone, facing at you.

And what broke your heart even worse was that she appointed you as the best man, which was opposite of what you wanted to experience with her.

You wanted to marry her and be the husband of her family not that but you don't have any more choice but to accept her invitation.

She was taken anyways and you will never make her yours whatever you do, that's the truth and you cannot change it.

Now leading you to where you at right now, you painfully watched them sealed their wedding vow and end the event with a loving kiss to each other while feeling devastated and burdened with heartbreak.

You clapped along with the guests with tears flowing out on your eyes, mixed with happiness and sorrow knowing that Sana is now married but with another man.

(1 HOUR LATER)

The after-wedding reception is currently being held beside the chapel.

The guests including the newlyweds are having fun, eating delicious foods, chatting along with friends, families and relatives and dancing along to every song being played by the host and the DJ.

You on the other hand, walked out and seperated yourself away from the crowd after you saw that Sana and Seth are about to take the turn next for their slow romantic dance on the center, which is precisely what you wished to do with her...but now it only can be possible in your dreams.

You went in front of the chapel, holding the wineglass full of red wine in your hands, and sat on one of the steps to drink.

After more than ten minutes of being alone, you weren't even aware that Sana just appeared beside you, holding her white gown to support her steps and prevent her from tripping, since she was worried that it might happen due to her clumsiness.

"YN!", she called your name,which completely took you aback as she gave you a mini heart attack at her jumpscare.

"S-Sana.", you mentioned her name while caressing your chest, still fresh from your surprised state.

"Bakit ka nandito?" (Why are you here?)

"Ah... wala, nagpapahangin lang.", (Ah, nothing. Just taking in some air.) that was only a half-lie.

"Tara, doon tayo sa loob.", (Come on, let's go inside.) she encouraged you. "Samahan mo kami sa table, nandoon sila Mama lahat ngayon." (Join us at the table, they are all there now.)

You didn't listened to her as you only stared at her hand offering to assist you from standing up.

Drinking the last shot of wine in the glass, you placed it carefully on the surface before standing up on your own, tempting Sana to lower down her free hand instead.

You looked straight at her with your exhausted and powerless glare as you prepared yourself from what you were about to do tonight, with only you and her could know this secret you've been hiding from her since you two were little.

"Sana."

"Hmm?"

"Congrats pala sa inyo ulit ni Seth.", (Congratulations again to you and Seth.) she smiled at your greeting. "Seryoso, masaya ako para sa inyo na kasal na kayong dalawa." (Seriously, I'm so happy for both of you that you two are now married.)

"Arigato, (Thanks) YN.", she said, grinning. "Grateful rin kami lalo na ako na... inaccept mo yung invitation." (We are also grateful especially me that... you accepted the invitation.)

"Sabi ko nga sayo diba sasamahan kita sa ganitong okasyon kasama ng lalaking para sayo balang araw.", (I told you that I will accompany you on this occasion with the man destined for you one day.) you blurted, snickering a bit that caused her to let out a chortle. "Ngayon na nandito na tayo, tinandaan ko talaga sa sarili ko na gawing totoo yun." (Now that we're here, I really kept it in mind to myself that I will make it true.)

"Ang supportive mo talaga, YN.", (You are so supportive, YN. she grabbed both your shoulders and playfully shook your body while saying it to you with her groaning tone of amusement at her bestfriend's kind-hearted attitude.

"Shinpaishinaide (Don't worry), dadalo rin ako sa kasal mo balang araw.", (I will also attend your wedding one day.) she chuckled, patting you in the chest. Thankfully, she didn't felt your unique rapid heartbeat only her could able to do that. "Kaya ikaw, maghanap kana kasi ng babaeng sa tingin mo ay para sayo." (So you, you should look for a girl who you think is right for you.)

"Nah. Hindi narin naman kailangan.", (Nah. It's not necessary.) you chuckled bitterly. "Hindi narin naman mangyayari yung kasal na gugustuhin ko.", (The wedding I want will never happen anyways.) you glanced at her, sadness starting to form in her your emotion.

"Bakit mo naman nasabi?" (Why can you say so?)

"Kasi yung babaeng minamahal ko, nauna na siya sakin.", (Because the woman I love, she has gone first before me already.) you smiled weakly and looked at her devastatingly.

"At nakatayo ako mismo sa harapan niya ngayon." (And I'm standing right in front of her now.)

"H-huh? YN?", she was puzzled, unable to comprehend what you were implying to convey.

You stepped closer towards her, roaming your eyes around her admirable face that charmed you no other women could ever do the same for you.

You stroke her long hair from behind, she remained staring directly at you monitoring your actions.

"Sana, di ko alam kung may sense paba yung mga susunod pang mga araw, buwan o taon para ilihim ko sayo to.", (I don't know if the next few days, months or years will make sense for me to keep this a secret from you.) you started your revelation as she continued listening on what you're trying to tell her.

That's why naisipang kong sabihin ko nalang sayo agad to and alam kong hindi sa tamang oras itong gagawin ngayon, but I just want to say it to you already so that I couldn't make myself suffer any longer and to let you know finally about this secret I've been keeping within me for years. (That's why I decided to tell you right away and I know it's not the right time to do it now, but I just want to say it to you already so that I couldn't make myself suffer any longer and to let you know finally about this secret I've been keeping within me for years.)

Sana... masaya ako sa inyo ni Seth. Masaya ako na nakita kitang ikinasal na pero... masakit sakin dahil ikaw yung babae na gusto kong makasama sa ganitong sandali.", (Sana.. I'm happy for you and Seth. I'm happy to see you finally got married but... it hurts me because you're the woman I wanted to be with at this kind of moment.) your voice became shaky as body shivered from your emotions about to urge yourself to began crying in front of her.

You sniffed before and snorted some fresh night air before finally saying those three words to confess to her at long last.

"Sana, mahal kita." (Sana, I love you.)

Sana just stared at you, speechless for her longtime bestfriend who just admitted his true feelings he developed only because of her.

She swallowed some pride to speak in response for your confession although still dumbfounded that she just heard it loud and clear to the man she never thought would fall in love for her too.

"YN... s-seryoso ka?", (YN... you serious?) she asked you in a low tone. You nodded as an alternative way to say yes.

"Yup. I've been admiring you for way too long already. Simula pa noong buong childhood natin.", (Ever since our whole childhood.) you replied to her. She just sighed heavily and tilted her head in disbelief, gasping.

"Ewan ko rin ba, nagsimula lang naman lahat nang makakuha ako ng unang halik mo sa pisngi ko.", (I don't know, it all started when I got your first kiss on my cheek.) you pointed to your cheek where she did that to you many years ago.

"Nagagandahan narin ako sayo nun sobra pero doon ko lang narealize kung bakit ako nagkakaganon lagi pagdating sayo." (I always found you to be so beautiful but that's when I just realized why I always act like that when it comes to you.)

"Gusto kong umamin sayo dati pa kaso hindi ko magawa. I gave you so many signs pero hindi mo makita, yun pala naunahan na ako ni Seth nang hindi ko alam.", (I wanted to confess to you before but I couldn't. I gave you so many signs but you couldn't see, that's why Seth had preceded me without me knowing.) you clicked your tongue in disappointment for yourself. She lowered down her head in guilt as she discovered her own fault for destroying your hopes and dreams you want to share with her.

You looked above and saw the towering structure of the chapel standing highly in front of you two. A memory flashed in your mind and it got you sharing it to her too since she's part of it anyways.

"Naaalala mo ba yung nagsimba tayo dito parehas kasama parents natin noong bata pa tayo?", (Do you remember when we went to church here together with our parents when we were kids?) you asked to her. Sana just realized that both you and her were standing exactly to your favorite spot here in this place where you also first found and met her as the girl who dropped her ice cream when you were just a kid back then.

"Oo. Ayun yung unang beses na parehas lumabas magkasama family natin right?", (Yes. That's the first time our family went out together, right?) you nodded in response, she looked up at you; now both her eyes were cooperating with her lips whose forming a frown right now in pity for you.

"Sabay nating inamin parehas na gusto nating ikasal dito sa simbahan nato, katulad ng parents natin.", (We both admitted together that we wanted to get married here in our church, just like our parents.) you recalled what happened in that moment.

"Doon palang na alam kong may gusto na ako sayo nun, at ang nasa isip ko lamang nun ay ikaw lamang ang gugustuhin kong babaeng ikakasal sakin balang araw.", (That's when I knew I had a crush on you, and the only thing on my mind was that you were the only woman I would want to marry me one day.) you then proceeded to hold her hands. She looked at it and thought that it could've meant more also for her if she wasn't ignoring those signals you've been trying to send her for years.

"Pero sinira ko yung tadhana nayun na gusto ko, lalo na't hindi na ikaw ang aking makakasama.", (But I broke that destiny I desired of, especially since you are no longer the one I'll be with.).that words hurted you so much that it was enough for you to let go one single teardrop to flow down in your cheek.

Sana saw it and her heart clenched knowing she was the cause of that and never intended to give you that.

"Kaya deserve ko rin naman to. Pinili kong maging duwag at iskreto sayo ng matagal. Nagmukha pa akong nagtatangkang sirain yung pinakamasayang araw ng buhay mo dahil sa mali ko.", (So I deserve it too. I chose to be a coward and kept it a secret to you for a long time. I even looked like I tried to ruin the happiest day of your life because of my mistake.) you said, referring to your confession tonight at the same time her wedding just ended hours ago.

Your arm raised, hand placed on the side of her face as you started caressing it. Sana just shut her eyes down, feeling the bittersweet effect of your touch through every nerves cursing around her body as her own tears started to rush out from her.

"Alam kong wala na akong chance Sana, pero... hindi na siguro magbabago isip ko.", (I know I have no chance, Sana but... I might not change my mind.) you shrugged your shoulders as you continued admiring her elegant facial features.

You grasped both her hands tenderly and stared deeply at her.

"Ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko. Bahala na kung araw araw na akong masasaktan... (It's still you I will choose. It's up to me even if I get hurt every day...)

... ikaw pa rin ang hahanapin ko dahil Sana Minatozaki, (It's still you I'll find for because Sana Minatozaki,)

ikaw lamang ang aking dahilan, ang aking pahinga, ang aking sinta at ang tanging ninanais... (you are my only reason, my rest and the only one I want...

... kahit na hindi ka naman sakin papunta." (... even if you're not going for me.)

Sana quickly hugged you, trapping you to her comforting embrace which was effective for you to finally release the heavy burden you've been carrying for such a lengthy amount of years you spent secretly admiring her from a far.

Your lips quivered, breathing intensified, reflexes gone weak as you cried harder in her arms, Sana felt your whole body shake so she hurriedly calmed you down by rubbing your back gently.

"Parang napakasama kong kaibigan, YN. Hindi ko alam kung magagalit, malulungkot o madidismaya ako sa sarili ko. Patawarin moko, sobra.", (It seems like as if I am a very bad friend to you, YN. I don't know if I will be angry, sad or disappointed in myself. Forgive me, so much.) she begged as her voice began cracking due to her cries of empathy for her heartbroken bestfriend and admirer.

"Hindi ko naman sadyang maging bulag sa nararamdaman mo sakin at saktan ka ng napakatagal. Kung hindi lang ako din naging manhid, alam kong may pag-asa sana na... magustuhan rin kita." (I didn't mean to be blind to your feelings for me and hurt you for so long. If only I hadn't been so numb, I knew there was hope that... I would like you too.)

"Napakabuti mong tao, YN... hindi ako magdadalawang isip na makasama ka habambuhay... pero dahil sa ginawa ko, hindi ko to magagawa nang higit sa kaibigan ang turing ko sayo.", (You're such a good person, YN... I wouldn't hesitate to be with you forever... but because of what I did, I can't treat you more than a friend.) she kept on pleading to receive your forgiveness for her mistake but you interrupted her at the end of her words to take the turn to speak in your part.

"Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo, Sana please. Hindi ko narin sisisihin ang sarili ko, wala narin tayong magagawa nandito na tayo.", (Don't blame yourself, Sana please. I won't blame myself neither, there's nothing we can do now since we're now here.) you told her. "Magiging masaya ka rin kay Seth, alam natin sa isat isa yan. Don't take this confession of mine and make yourself overthink about it too much to distract you from him, please." (You'll be happy with Seth too, we know that. Don't take this confession of mine and make yourself overthink about it too much to distract you from him, please.)

"Siguro nga, mas magiging higit pa yung pagmamahal niya kaysa sakin", (Maybe, his love will be more than mine.) you confidently said, since you knew that Seth is still quite the example of what a husband material should be.

"Kaya huwag ka magalala sakin, Sana. Basta tandaan mo lang na nandito parin ako lagi para sayo whenever you need help." (So don't worry about me, Sana. Just remember that I'm always here for you whenever you need help...)

"I will stay and remain here always as one of the most special person and the one and only first bestfriend you had in your whole life.", you assured her.

You released yourself from the hug. Pursing your head forward, you kissed her forehead with pure tender.

Sana knows that it was your usual symbolization to signify a perfect heartwarming message you created during your young days with her, so she smiled at your nostalgic act.

"My special kind of love and care will always kept reserved only for you.", you said, repeating the meaning behind that sweet gesture you did aside from using it as a way to express your respect for her as a woman like she is.

"Thank you sa closure, Sana. Makakahinga narin ako ng maluwag.", (Thank you for the closure, Sana. I can finally breathe in relief.) you chuckled as you started to wipe away the tears that might ruin her make up even more.

"Thank you rin for finally deciding to open up your true feelings for me, YN.", she formed a smile again, tapping your chest where it contains the source you used to pour out your words of affirming your admiration towards her.

You nodded your head before sharing a wide smile, this time it was sincere and unforced for the first time. It was such a relief you thought that you were able to finally let Sana know about it although the result you were orginally expecting to receive was gone already.

"Tara na, masyado na tayong nagtagal dito.", (Come on, we've spent too much time here.) you said, breaking the topic and returning the good vibes to make yourselves continue to enjoy the night.

Both of you chuckled as Sana also can't deny the truth that because of your confession, she had to stay with you alone longer just to hear what you wanted to say for her. "Inaantay na ata nila tayo." (They're probably waiting for us.)

You presented your hand for her to freely take it without hesitation. "Motto hayaku soko ni ikimashou! (Lets go there faster!)", she exclaimed.

Grabbing your hand along to hers, you reached for your empty wineglass before she pulled you with her as both ran back to the venue where the visitors are still celebrating.

---------- END ---------- - 🐹 -

#twicesana #twice #twicesanaxmreader #twicesanaxmalereader #twicesanaoneshot #twiceoneshot #twiceau #kpopau #kpoponeshots

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selamat-linting · 10 months

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so anyway, back to bitching again (i always bitch) yall know the women's group? the one i talked about? yeah so a little backstory first for the newcomers: this girl, she was a former member of a branch of my org. she was from another town. when she moved here, she's supposed to be helping my branch right? but no, she broke off with no warning, and started a women's group with her friends. thats the group im talking about. they focus on producing art / writing as a form of their resistance. with the occasional charity event in-between. its a very laid-back almost apolitical group. my girl plans to push her friends' left by meeting them on their own terms. doing resistance the way theyre comfortable with and hoping it would influence them to be radical.

suffice to say, it failed. my girl is kicked out of the group she founded, and when i offer her to go back here, she doesnt want to. claiming this town is too far gone for any meaningful resistance. my feelings on that loaded response is well documented on this blog but anyway. lets go to the present

this group is now doing another event, a talk show about mental health. now this would be good except the topic is this, "self diagnosis: valid or not" featuring a fucking psychiatrist.

i dont know, maybe because im a victim of (mild) medical neglect from a psychiatrist, and im firmly anti-psychiatry after seeing how lucky i got compared to my comrades with a more stigmatized disorder, but this is just wack to me. idc.

like, first of all, in what world that a discussion of whether self-dx is a special topic of discourse to be treated this way? girl look at the state of our healthcare system. look at how we lack a social safety net. look at how there's practically no help for abuse and bullying victims. we dont even have a homeless shelter in this town! look at how many mental health workers that still treats homosexuality as a disease or asks child abuse victims to forgive their parents. look at how the criminal system treats addicts!!! look at the prisons! by god look at the prisons!!! prison inmates are prime examples of men and women who is failed by the state over and over again and end up hurting and abusing everyone around them, fueling the cycle anew.

youre putting the cart between the horse, by discoursing about self diagnosis when you havent even talked about how bad society is falling apart and how inefficient and inaccessible the healthcare system is. and im not just talking about the money, i know treatment's free, but is it really treatment when you have to wait four hours every two weeks just to meet an out of touch doctor for five minutes who'd just tell you to forgive your abuser then dose you up with potentially addictive medications without telling you the side-effects or even listening to your concerns?

also wow, inviting a shrink for a self dx discussion. i would bet money their stance is that theyre against it because heyyy therapy is free and covered by national insurance uwu and its your personal responsibility xoxo. very neoliberal. i always suspect their politics is as progressive as a gay conservative since they decided not to make a post acknowledging pride month when they personally call themselves a feminist collective. how come a group of college-educated women could be this unserious? unprincipled? eugh. i expected better of them than the empty headed dumbfuck boys who made a metalcore concert for a day where at least a million people died by the hands of the state but turns out theyre just a different flavor of annoying and ignorant.

but i guess i have to act professional and nice around them since they did agree to help for the pro palestine campaign. i hate this fr fr!!!!!

#posts about my life #infighting and resentment tag #anti psychiatry #i guess?

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jyndor · 2 years

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Sorry but maybe it’s time to stop trying to find parallels between literally everything. Bix and Jyn are nothing alike, their relationship with Cassian are nothing alike and their arcs are completely different. How is Bix being tortured by imperials a parallel to Jyn being interrogated by the rebels? How is Jyn being sent to a labour camp a parallel to Bix getting arrested for informations? Yes I agree that people should stop this bullshit of comparing them, mainly because they have >nothing< in common besides having some kind of relationship with Cassian at some point at their lives. But they’re not defined by what they mean to some man, just stop it. Also these ‘parallels’ will just make people compare them even more, so if it wasn’t your intention you should reconsider what do you want with that

eat my asshole since you’re so far up it already anon

the interrogation wasn't the point, it was about how they're both hiding how they are actually resisting the empire behind the smokescreen of petty crime/black market business. don’t act like you care about the details of any of this, if you’re the same anon (and again anons don’t get a shred of benefit of the doubt from me) you’ve proven yourself to be uninterested in the film and its characters.

part of character analysis IS comparing and contrasting, just not the nasty ways that a lot of fans do it - in misogynistic, racist ways. ever heard the term foil? it's a character that contrasts with another character to highlight these characters’ traits. comparing and contrasting characters is not necessarily a bad thing - it’s about how are we handling it? for instance: i’ve seen some racist, xenophobic behavior from jyn fans through the years (and honestly i’ve not even seen the majority of the early fandom shit because i wasn’t on tumblr as often - i saw that later on) that makes me question some jyn fans’ thoughts on bix because i know how this shit goes. and of course shippers are incapable of respecting the fact that people can have multiple important relationships in their lives without devaluing them, and often women characters get backlash for being *barf* in the way~~ of their ship or whatever.

what they mean to some man. are you serious right now. first off i have critiqued andor for bix’s arc in particular being pretty shallow in comparison to other characters’ arcs, and how she suffers an extreme amount in the service of pushing a man’s story forward. but also... the show is about cassian andor. it’s his show. in some way each of these characters will be there in service of CASSIAN’s story.

a big part of andor's thesis is that cassian is a mirror to the lead from rogue one as well as a foil. parallels aren't necessarily intentional by writers or even real parallels, and fans have a tendency to point out like things where a writer is just unoriginal and call it a parallel (see: steven moffat’s doctor who lmfao). my guess is when it comes to bix, they aren't entirely intentional - except of course the shots that are similar to shots of jyn. i understand how some people might find it annoying to see people pointing out random shots and thinking the fuck the context is totally different - but i deliberately made the gifset with some meta in mind. like i’ve got explanations for all of those scenes. maybe i should have just included it in the original post instead of writing it on a reblog like i’m currently doing but whatever.

i’ve been trying to give a lot of space to bix fans on this because i’ve seen jyn fans act up and i don’t want to spark some bullshit or play on racist, xenophobic and misogynistic shit in fandom. and frankly some bix fans, or people who claim to be idk yall don’t get to claim anything if you take the cover of an anonymous identity, have been horrible to cassian fans and jyn fans, and its felt similar to the melshi/cass shippers who have been harassing wlw rebelcaptain shippers and...

idk some of you either need to learn to block people whose content you don’t like and/or blacklist tags you don’t want to see. i tag really carefully so if you never want to see jyn erso content, you don’t have to. you don’t have to see my content because guess what? you can block me. i won’t miss your ass. if you were someone who actually liked my content or my blog or whatever, you’d have dm’d me with your concerns privately. because i’m gonna consider criticism from people who do that a lot more thoughtfully than some anon. i get not everyone feels comfortable contacting people off anon, which is why i always keep it on because really lol most of the time even idiot asshole anons are funny to me. but in all seriousness if you don’t feel comfortable saying this shit off anon, then maybe you should reconsider who you feel comfortable following and engaging with.

#asks #anonymous #answered #andorshitpost #thats the tag for idiots now lol #fandom critical #ship drama is embarrassing bro

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a-complex-joke · 3 months

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Love resistance

MASTERLIST

Chapter 3 (Demons are pretty)

Kammy grabbed a knife out of her pocket cutting me loose, I sat still, my back still pressed to the tree "W-what just happened, you -they - how" I said trying to collect myself.

"Hey hun, I need you to calm down Damian, let me explain. I am a demon and almost everyone here died just now" she said like it was nothing, a look of concern in her eyes directed towards me.

she smiled and blushed "You think I'm pretty," she said swaying back and forth on her toes and heels. She skipped to my side and sat down beside me, eating her apple and putting her head on my shoulder, "why didn’t you kill me" I said looking at the corpse of Kris, her eyes would have been directly string at me if they hadn’t rolled into the back of her head.

"cause I love you too much," she said bluntly. “Plus you heard those three they didn’t care what happened to Ash or you, those three love birds only wanted the good old green.”

she looked over at me and smiled. "Come on, we better get out of here before the police show up," she said offering me a hand as she got up.

I hesitantly took her hand and we walked out to see flashing lights. "Help my friends th-there dead" Kammy called out to the police, she was a pretty good actress.

They ran over to us, "Oh lord you poor kids come on, follow me we'll get you somewhere safe" a younger cop said, guiding us to a car.

Ash sat there with a blanket wrapped around him before noticing us, “holy shit your still alive, why did my friends have to die but you lived"

“You're the one who made our friends go out to that dangerous forest, if I hadn’t known about your plan to murder Damian he would have been next.” she started to cry “Poor Kris, she climbed up a tree to avoid that bear that attacked them, and then…” she fell into my chest Crying?

It was hard to tell if these were true tears or those of a crocodile.

“You're leaning on this creep, he probably told his psycho cousins about our little prank, he’s the reason they're dead,” Ash said, grabbing her off me harshly.

“Hey you keep your hands off her,” I said, stepping between them.

“That's enough kids, I'll get your accounts of the accident made at the station, I think it best for now to separate yall until then,” an older and much more southern officer said, ushering us into separate police cars.

“Oh please sir I don’t think I can be alone after seeing that, could I please ride there with Damian, I swear I'll be good” She once again used her tears to convince the officers.

“All right but no hanky panky in the back seat, I still can’t forget the last couple I had in there” The officer jokes

The car ride was a short one but it still left time for Kammy to whisper about what we needed to say.

“Just tell them what I told you earlier, and how they kidnapped you, but say that you had the hood on the whole time so you don’t see anything, just heard noises, then I came after the wild animal had left and I freed you”

“Are you sure it will work? What about Ash’s statement ?”

“Two against one plus he’ll sound crazy talking about some demon showing up”

“Hey, I said no hanky Panky! That means no whispering too”

“Sorry officer” I apologized.

At the station, I luckily got to talk to the rookie.

“So, son what were you doing out in the woods?”

“I was taken there by Luka, Kris, and Spike, from what I know they were ordered by Ash to kidnap me.”

“And then what?”

“Well they tied me to a big tree, I had a hood on though so all I could do was hear a feel. They said they were gonna kill me, and then there were all these nocies, some growls some screams, I remember also the sound of wood breaking and something falling fast.”

“So how did you avoid this attack?”

“Well I guess since I was quiet at still it, whatever it is, didn’t notice me, or it could have been scared off by Kammy approaching”

“And how did she know you’d be there?”

“She was friends with the victims, they had told her about the plan, and she had warned me during lunch”

“And you didn’t go to anyone with these concerns?”

“Nope, in that school, someone could be killed in front of 1000 people on camera and still get away with it, a little threat is nothing”

“Alright Son looks like I'm all out of questions, we already called your guardian to come to get you”

“My brother right? Not my parents”

“Yup, A Dally right?”

“No Darry, but close enough”

“Alright, you can wait out there, your girlfriend should be there too” I almost blushed at the mention of her being my girlfriend.

“Oh Damian, I was so worried you were in there for so long,” She said hugging me

“Yeah I just lied through my teeth like a lot” I semi-joked

“Good, we wouldn't want our little secret getting out now would we,” she said, creasing my face.

“Damian! there you are boy, I got a call from the police station, nearly giving me a heart attack, come on” Darry yells pretty much pushing me out the door, Kammy just gives a little wave.

#original story #romance #demons

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ao3feed-crimeboys · 8 months

Text

Path of Least Resistance

by hellonearthtoday

“Anything happen to it recently?” Tommys’ eyes are dutifully glued to the thing as he unscrews its side panel, making sure to pocket each screw.

“Not anything big? Er, we did move recently…” The man almost sounds sheepish, and Tommy's gaze flicks upwards, urging him to continue. “And while moving it, it slipped from her hands once.” Thing about PC's, is that they fall apart like Legos too.

Tommy can’t help but wince. Dropping it: literally just the thing he was hoping didn’t happen. The man must see it, because he’s quickly going to try and make it seem better than it is.

“—But it wasn't from very high! The outside wasn’t even dented. It was only from around a foot or two.”

That absolutely did not help his case.

Or; Tommy, who might be the least enthusiastic candidate to be one, is unequivocally declared a vigilante by the news. Fuck him for giving a shit, he guesses. He doesn’t understand why they couldn’t have just given him the title of temporary firefighter. No, they had to jump straight to vigilante.

Words: 8561, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: Gen

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo, Wilbur Soot, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Alexis | Quackity, Dream SMP Ensemble

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) & Original Character(s), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson | Philza, Dream SMP Ensemble & TommyInnit, Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), i guess ill add shit as it comes up idk is this click bait yall

Additional Tags: Im ripping off marvel, more specifically AOS, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Vigilante TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Worldbuilding, Enemies to Friends, Civilian TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Not for long but take it up in court, Sleepy Bois Inc as Found Family, Attempt at Humor, Dubious Morality, Another love letter to humanity i got too many of those in my trenchcoat, ACAB, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, Legally not allowed to tag comedy because that's called lying, Minor Character Death, Speedster TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Thats a tag im stoked, Engineer Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Specifically computer engineer, Spies & Secret Agents, Government Agent Phil Watson, im straight up making up tags, A few more people are definitely government agents but im not saying who

#ao3feed #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #crimeboys #crime boys #crimebois #crime bois #mcyt #This is an automated process #If you see any fic that breaks boundaries #or the fic is yours and you don't want it shared send an ask #it will be looked at and removed if need be

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stressedemoblackbratz · 3 years

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what the hell pt. 4

pairing: euphoria characters x black!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of drugs and slight violence.

a/n: yall finna be mad as hell because i’m not making a sequel until season three :/ i am planning on doing a backstory though. possibly a few other things, but what the hell is completed babies.

words: 2.5k + not proofread

part one | part two | part three | how she came to be

all my life i’ve been good, but now i’m thinking, “what the hell?”

“andddd done.” you mumbled before spraying setting spray onto Lexi’s face. the play started in an hour and you had spent a lot of your time trying to calm Lexi down and texting Fez.

y/n: bro why the fuck i came in and first thing i saw was Ethan playing with his titties and him screaming it wasn’t what it looked like

fez: who is he supposed to be?

y/n: Lexi mama 😪

fez: IM DONE 😭😭

“are you sure your okay with this? i mean i had you upset at first so what about Cass-“ you stopped her rambling when you put your phone down and clapped your hands together.

“i was upset you had my break down a power moment for you. we fixed that up, but Cassie? Cassie can go to hell.” you told the girls sister. her eyes were wide with fear at the thought of her sister being mad at her.

“you’re showing them us…nobody told her to go and fuck Nate. boo hoo.” you shrugged.

“i just don’t want anyone to be mad at me or offended.” she said as she shrunk in her chair. you giggled at her worrying before getting up to leave. the girls were waiting for you outside of the auditorium.

“she’s been trying to gain sympathy for herself this entire time. maybe this will wake her up and guess what? sometimes the truth hurts.”

you walked towards the door, waving at Bobbi and Ethan on your way out.

“oh!” you called out causing Lexi to look back at you along with Ethan and a few other people.

“this is the part where i say break a leg. obviously don’t actually do that, but you better eat these bitches up.” you stated before leaving again, your platforms clicking away.

you resisted the urge to scream and punch Cassie and Nate in their jaws on your way to your seat.

“cunts!” BB called to the two.

you sighed sitting down in your seat beside Maddy. you were overly nervous. you knew Lexi was about to show her experiences with everyone and then some, that being said you were praying she didn’t reveal too much about you specifically.

Kat placed a hand on yours as the curtains pulled back and the first act started.

y/n: show time

fez: i’m coming don’t worry

you were so intrigued by how everyone was behind closed doors and apparently everyone else was too. you loved how Ethan played her mother and how he played Nate.

it wasn’t until an actress resembling you walked out did you mumble “she casted us perfectly.”. with that Maddy and BB pieced everything together.

“wait this fucking play is about us?!” she screeched before laughing at some of the portrayals.

you snorted and nodded before glancing behind you. Rue was smiling and even though you still felt some kind of slight resentment still, it felt nice to know she could find humor in this after all she’s been through.

Elliot’s facial expressions weren’t changing too much, but then again…his goofy ass wasn’t in the play.

Jules was into it and don’t even get me started on Suze. the entire room knew she was loving it.

it wasn’t until Cassie and Nate had both waltzed out of the theater for a moment after Ethan’s number that shit hit the fan. you turned around right in time to see Cassie fog up the auditorium doors glass.

“oh shit.” you and Rue mumbled to yourselves on opposite rows before roughly facing back forward.

Cassie walked up to the stage clapping and cursing at Lexi. Ethan tried to intervene and Suze tried to stop her daughter.

“is this apart of the play?” Micheal asked from across the room.

“how about the part where she fucked Martha’s boyfriend?” Maddy yelled out inciting a gasp from the crowd.

“they weren’t together!” Cassie cried as Maddy snickered. she kept going on and on before the crowd started screaming.

“racist!” somebody called from the crowd.

you did see some of Cassie’s points because yeah she did just literally expose you alls most vulnerable moments in front of everyone.

but honestly?

fuck Cassie.

the bitch was annoying and needed this moment.

and no matter what, Lexi’s truth would be Lexi’s truth.

and sometimes the truth hurts.

y/n: fez i don’t know where you are, but Cassie’s literally giving herself away right now. the bitch is breaking.

you put your phone down and enjoyed Cassie’s hollering on stage and pity monologue she created until she found out her sister knew what she had going on at the fair. literally everyone knew, but that set her off. the second she put her hands on her decoy you had had enough.

“ayo bitch!” you yelled standing up, Maddy standing too when Cassie’s head snapped towards you.

“rock her in her shit Mads.” you laughed.

Jules screamed out in laughter as Maddy ran up on Cassie, you in tow. phones recorded the mini fight before you, Kat, and BB followed Cassie and Maddy into the back, Lexi screaming behind you.

“nonono! Maddy no!” Kat screamed as you all chased Cassie to the back.

Maddy slammed Cassie’s head into the wall and you heard Lexi stop running and start sniffling behind you, you stopped chasing after that.

you let Kat and BB run on as you went to comfort Lexi.

“everything’s literally ruined. i fucked up.” she cried into your shoulder. you could faintly hear everyone cheering Lexi’s name from behind the walls.

“listen…” you said lifting her head. she quizzically looked at you before she sighed in recognition. they loved it. she laughed and wiped her tears away.

“they think it’s apart of the show and the shows gotta go on. go address your people. i gotta go fix “Cassie’s” makeup.” you snorted before going into the dressing room to assess the mauled actress.

you walked into the frantic backstage area. Ethan was pacing, Bobbi was reading over the script in confusion, the light people were reading a light manual, and the actors were huddled together.

“okay people get your shit together! we have a play to finish!” you yelled at them while making your way to the extra makeup kit.

“chair. now.” you said pointing at the blonde with smeared lip gloss and a loose lash.

“now get your ass on that carousel.” you mumbled before walking off back into the auditorium and hearing the last of Lexi’s words on stage.

“so even though he couldn’t be here with us tonight…this one’s for you.” she finished before disappearing.

“y/n!” some guy said making your presence known as you sat in your seat now alone. you felt a pat on your back and heard a few chants before someone came and sat right beside you.

you knew that smell. you smelt it everyday up until a few weeks ago. it kind of irked you, but you were trying.

“are you okay?” Elliot asked you.

now i know what your thinking.

why aren’t you pushing Elliot away? why aren’t you making a scene. you let Rue off the hook with a mini beating, but your cool now? so Elliot gets the same treatment?

well.

your dad had talked to you and honestly? moving on and forgiving, but not forgetting was way more peaceful than dwelling on it.

“you can hate them.” Ali told you. “you’re allowed to, but from here on out? what else you do is gonna determine your situation.”

you accepted their actions for what it was and forgiving wasn’t like you, but you were 18. you couldn’t cry then punch people forever.

when your dad told you Jules and Elliot both told Leslie about Rue using and her running away you felt your heartstrings pull.

you couldn’t imagine what it was like.

but that explained why a few weeks after you fought her at Fez’s house she told you she was clean. she was trying to get better. you wanted to be better too.

so you forgave her.

and if you could forgive her that meant you had to at least face Elliot.

“y/n please just wait!” he called out to as you stormed from Hayes’s office after Cassie’s impromptu attack with tears running down your face.

although Cal was long gone, his name ran long and his son still was able to pull strings. you had to promise to not press charges on Cassie and to never mention it again to get out of suspension.

she kept getting coddled and you hated it.

“Elliot please.” you tiredly mumbled. he stopped at your expression and the tears staining your face. the last time he saw you cry you had exposed him.

he didn’t like that expression on you.

“what’s wrong?” he asked in that caring tone he always had when you first started dating. you sighed before laying on the cold wall behind you and sliding down it.

you chuckled looking up at him as he looked down at your defeated frame.

“i exposed the truth and i’m still tired. i still can barely take it.” you let out a humorless laugh. “i should feel better.” you said looking at his cheek tattoo.

he crouched down and wiped the tears from your cheeks. you resisted the urge to lean in and push him away at the same time.

“i know me saying sorry doesn’t fix anything.” he softly said. “but i truly am sorry. when i say i loved you and i still do i mean it. i truly do. i treated you horribly and i’m sorry.” he sincerely said.

you took one big sniffle before nodding your head at him.

“…i know…and i forgive you.” a small smile broke onto his face before he grabbed your hand and squeezed.

you felt some warmth and had to force your small smile to go down. shaking your head and pulling your hand back to speak to him.

“i’m not ever going to forget what happened. i don’t have that luxury.” you stated. “that being said our relationship will never be the same. i don’t hate you, but i don’t think we’re ever going to be be close again.” you said struggling to stand with numb legs. you were ready to take a nap.

Elliot nodded at your words before he helped you up.

“at least i have something.” he smiled. you rolled your eyes before waving goodbye to him.

“Elliot.” you said in acknowledgment of the boy beside you as an actress that resembled you walked on to the stage again.

“Jade, Star, and i met the first day of preschool. i already knew Jade, but Star was new and gravitated towards us immediately. we were three very different people, but we were one.” Lexi narrated.

“there was once a time Star didn’t show up to school for around two weeks.” she added.

“she’s probably like, dead or something.” Jade said licking at her ice cream. Lexi smacked her shoulder and Jade quickly went to cradle her aching arm.

“don’t say that! she’s probably just sick. you know that orange chicken was green last week.” the audience laughed at her words. Jade let her arm go, nodded, and proceeded to eat her food. Lexi turns to the audience with a solemn look.

“the truth was Star’s mom had up and left her and there was no warning or reasoning why. Star hadn’t been to school because she had no ride. her food at home was running low, and there was not that much money left.” Lexi announced to the engaged crowd. your own eyes were watering as you were forced to live your truth again.

“Star never knew her father, but by a miracle the day before everything in her home was to be shut off, she was able to call him. he heard her voice and despite never knowing of her, he came running.” Lexi said walking into the darkness as the lights panned to another area.

Star was off to the side of the stage crying into a phone before Ethan appeared as her dad and took her away.

Star and Lexi laid on the ground staring up into the sky.

“she left me Lex…she fucking left me to die and he was right there, but she never admitted it.” Star cried into her chest. Lexi ran her hand over Star’s head.

“turns out her dad was close, but yet so far her entire life. her mom had her in the same town as her father, but never took her to him. little Star had so much to figure out. a new home, a new normal, once no dad and a mom to now, no mom and a dad.” Lexi sighed before continuing.

“Jade also had to figure things out too. a bit over a year later, Jade had to bury her father.” the curtain closed as they got ready for the last act.

the audience clapped as you sobbed into Elliot’s jacket. he patted your back and rubbed your head as you let everything out on him. you head was starting to hurt from the tears, but the show was starting back up.

“i was in the hall when you died…” Jade’s voice sucked you in.

you paid attention you looked at every little thing, including slightly laughing at the picture of you all at Rue’s father’s funeral. you stood up clapping and shouting as the cast bowed before the curtains closed for the final time in farewell.

Maddy and Cassie still weren’t back. Neither were BB and Kat. you felt bad they had to miss the rest of something so beautiful. you and Elliot walked past Jules who nodded at your and ignored Elliot, moving to go speak with Rue.

you went outside and waited for her. once she returned with no Jules you came to talk to her. Elliot was a yard away smoking a cigarette and watching you two.

“how are you feeling?” you asked her. she smiled and did a small squeal.

“i don’t feel…i don’t feel like a monster anymore. that play made me feel more human than I’ve ever felt these last five years.” she said smiling at you.

“i felt kind of exposed and overwhelmed, but it honestly was so freeing.” you said agreeing with her. you wish Fez could’ve experienced it.

little did you know the boy you knew who only wanted protect Fez and to make his money was laying on the cold floor, his entire life gone.

the same hall Fez first saw Ash was the same hall he saw Ash leave from.

“hey!” Lexi yelled running up to you two and giving you both a hug. Rue broke apart first.

“you’re a fucking genius!” Rue shouted.

“Julliard is needed now!” you shouted too.

she laughed at you two before gif and Rue joined in.

“you guys wanna go out and eat with me and my mom?” Lexi asked. She agreed, but you grimaced and sighed shaking your head.

“i’m going to Fez’s.” you explained. you needed to see what was up because you knew he wouldn’t miss this for anything minor.

“oh! tell him i’m not mad? i know something must have came up.” she rushed out as Suze called her name loudly.

“bye y/n!” Rue said as you started to leave.

“will do. i’ll see you later!” you called behind your shoulder.

y/n: i’m coming over :p

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