#i guess the point is i wish i had more fun when i was younger

[mainfaggot]

i often get nostalgic for something i never had the chance to experience but only watched from afar, when i see teenage boys on public transport with dyed buzz cuts and skateboards

[the-dragon-girl-27]

u watch naruto?

nope and i have very minimal knowledge of it lol

[killergee]

Wrote this on my phone so sorry if the formatting is wonky. First fanfic since I was a teenager, so pls be kind and enjoy!

Soshiro x reader fanfic where you're cold towards him so he thought you hated him but you actually like him.

Summary: Hoshina thinks you're only out for his position but turns out you might not hate him as much as he thinks.

P1 P2 P3

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"I am grateful and honoured to be recommended for the position of Vice Captain for the second division. However, I wish to be only Captain Ashiro's Vice Captain. Until then, I am happy to remain a platoon leader."

Those were the first words Hoshina heard you say. The first time he met you was at the higher up conference. It was decided that you would be promoted based on your performance in the latest Kaiju attack. But in all honesty, he was barely paying attention as he stood in his position behind Ashiro at the round table. It was one of those monthly meetings that seemed to drag on and on, and he couldn't help but try to stiffle a yawn. It wasn't like he had a say in the decision anyway, so what's the point of listening.

His interest peaked slightly when you walked in. He had seen you around the base a couple of times and had heard your name every once in a while. But his mind was always on training himself, the rookies, and keeping them alive.

He would be lying if he said you weren't a sight for sore eyes. Your gaze was strong, and you held your head high as you presented yourself to the higherups. One of those ice princesses, he guesses, as he shifts his gaze to look at the clock.

Who would've thought you'd be so interesting.

"HAHAHA! It's great to have aspirations," one of the higher ups laughed at your rejection, "too bad Hoshina has already got you beat. You want us to replace Hoshina with you?" A series of giggles erupted around the room.

"Not at all," you said, and Hoshina swears he saw a small smirk break your cold facade. "Hoshina is a fine Vice Captain and one that Captain Mina personally appointed. Simply put, when the time comes and Captain Ashiro needs someone else, I just want to be ready for the call," you replied with what he thinks is a bit of mirth in your eyes. He also could've sworn your gaze shifted to him at the end.

Your statement was strong, ambitious, and slightly threatening even. You've practically announced that you were out for his position and if he is ever deemed unfit, you'll be the one who'll snag it from him.

He swears that was the moment he was hooked on you.

Yet, it seems it wouldn't be easy to see that break in your facade again. Well, at least not easy for him. Somehow it wasn't until this point that he noticed how popular you were. According to everyone else, you were cool, fun, and kind. So why is it that you're always so cold towards him? He's heard your platoon absolutely gush about you to everyone they've met. He's seen you crack an unwilling smile to some of the younger cadets on the training field from a distance. Hell, he's even eaves dropped on you joking with his own squad.

"Hibino-kun, I heard you wanted to stand beside the Captain," you said slyly as you sat infront of Kafka in the study room. You were resting your head on your hand and eyeing at Kafka in a way that makes even Hoshina gulp. Though, probably in a different way from Kafka. Kafka flushed and tried to look at anywhere but you, "y-yeah I'm gonna try my best to do so... I also heard that you, um, were also aiming for Vice Captain?" He scratched his head a bit embarrassed but you only looked even more amused as your gaze sized him up as if evaluating him and his ambitions.

"That's right" you said with a mischievous smile.

"So I guess that makes us enemies for now, haha"

"No. Not necessarily," you sighed crossing your arms on the table and leaning forward as if to tell Kafka a secret. "You know the saying, the enemy of your enemy is your friend. So you and I are friends."

"And who's the enemy?"

"Hoshina, of course."

Well, isn't that something Hoshina thought. At least Kafka was enjoying himself.

"I guess he is," he said shoulders slumping, finally loosening up and laughing.

"Once he's out of the picture then we'll be enemies and I'm warning you, you don't want to be my enemy," Hoshina heard you joke back.

"Is that so?"

"Vice Captain!" Kafka shouted as he stood up to salute him as Hoshina entered the room. You on the other hand, seemed to be taking your sweet time getting up to salute him.

"Sir," you said flatly, all the humour you once had vanishing. Your eyes bored into his as if you were looking at an ant beneath your boot.

Right. Not easy. Definitely not easy at all.

"Do ya really see me that way y/n-kun?" Hoshina said as he walked to stand infront of you. "Why, you're hurting my lil' ol' feelings."

He knew he was standing closer to you than you'd like. With how your cheek slightly twitched, he can't say he wasn't enjoying this.

"I apologize, sir," you mumbled as if it pained you to say. "If it pains you so much why don't you go on leave? Take as much time as you need to recover."

"Oh? And let you take over my position?" He responded with a growing smile that showed off his fang.

"Or Hibino-kun can," you responded bringing back Hibino into the conversation.

"Um!" Hibino squeaked and both you and Hoshino snap your heads to look at him. "I-I uh... Nevermind."

"That's 5 laps for you, Hibino"

"What? Why I didn-"

"You want to do 10?" Hoshina threatened as a sliver of his eyes opens.

"No, sir!" Hibino salutes before hurrying himself out of the situation—scared he'll upset his vice captain even more.

With only the two of you left in the room, your slight step backwards doesn't go unnoticed by Hoshina.

"And how many laps do you want me to run, sir?" You asked in a way that Hoshina knows that if he were to discipline you, you'd pull your rank and find a way to refuse. Or perhaps you'll do it anyways and exaggerate his cruelty as a Vice Captain. So instead, why not take this opportunity to interrogate you?

"None. Just wanna talk"

"But Hibino-"

"Hibino-kun this Hibino-kun that. Do ya like the guy that much?" Hoshina cuts in, irked in a way he doesn't really understand.

"Negative. Just thought you'd be more fair," you responded flippantly, your eyes sharp and questioning.

"And who says you'll go unpunished?" Your eyes widened at that—but just as quickly as it did—your face returned to its calm and collected facade. Enjoying seeing the briefest crack in your composure, Hoshina started to wonder what else makes you tick and what other expressions can you make.

With a smirk he leaned back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands clasped behind his back. "Say how long have you been in the force?"

The twitch of your eyebrow tells him you're thinking, what does that have to do with being punished. But you still responded, "six years, sir."

"Ahh so a little bit after me. No wonder. I would've remembered a face like yours in my cadet days." He said with a teasing smile. You seem to freeze a bit at his flirtation and it might be wishful thinking but did he see a small blush? Before he could think about it any further you responded, "yes, how very unfortunate we couldn't have entered the force together. Perhaps things could've been different if I had," insinuating something else.

"You're really out for my blood aren't you y/n-kun?" He chuckled lightly.

"Nope. Not really," you said nonchalantly seemingly finding his shoulder more interesting to look at. Hoshina leaned down to cut your line of sight. Face tilted at an angle, he leaned close to your face to force your eyes on him.

"Hmmm this is no good y/n-kun. We're supposed to be comrades, but where's the comraderie? How can we fight kaiju while bickering?"

"We'll survive," you said exasperated.

"Say, ya know what? I think I've thought of the perfect punishment for ya!" Hoshina exclaimed with an almost boyish excitement. He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms. "Since ya wanna be Vice Captain so bad, for your punishment ya have to follow me 'round and help me out with my duties."

"Like a servant?" You responded bewildered with his idea.

"Servant, slave, Vice Vice Captain. Call it whatever ya want. This way we can form a better relationship, which, hey, will set a great example for the kids," he joked only to be responded with your incredulous face that couldn't even bother to hide your grimace. "If anything, it'll benefit you too since you get to see what I do," he continued, shrugging slightly. "Maybe you can even find all my weaknesses and make a huge list to use against me to get my position," Hoshina chuckled at the thought.

After a beat of silence, Hoshina was moments away from taking it all back when you said, "okay, send me your schedule." This time, it was Hoshina whose eyes widened. He fully expected you to reject it. Hell, he suggested it in the first place because he wanted to see your reaction and how'd you go about rejecting him. Well, things are about to get fun.

His mouth curled into a grin. "Meet me at my office by 7am tomorrow," Hoshina said as he headed out of the room. "Get some rest, you'll need it."

"Whatever you say, your highness, bowlcut motherfucker," he heard you mumble under your breath as the door clicks close behind him.

Oh yea. This will be fun.

‐------------

It's been three weeks since you've been tasked to follow him around. Three weeks of teasing and getting to know each other. Three weeks of little change in your attitude towards him, Hoshina thinks sadly. He thought that he would've been able to win you over with this extra time together. Yet, it seems that he was the only one being won over.

He couldn't stop himself even if he tried. Your quick and witty comebacks. Your cold phrasing and comments that are unintentionally funny (or perhaps they are intentional and it's just your humour?). Your earnest efforts in completing the ridiculous tasks he's assigned you. The glimmer in your eyes and your attempts to stop a smile when you're trying to pretend he isn't funny. He couldn't help but be drawn towards you—basking in the light that you emit, the light you try to hide behind your cold facade.

He wonders if you could tell. If you noticed the glances he threw your way. If you saw how he lit up when you entered the room. If you could see how distracted he became when you sat and worked beside him. Shoulders only a hair's breath apart. So close that he could only smell your sweet perfume and watch your fingers fiddle with the edge of paper. He always had to stop himself from leaning closer until his nose rested in the crook of your neck—until he could breath you in deeper. Oh how he longed to close his hand over yours so that you could hold onto something more stable than paper. How he wished to distract you the way you distracted him.

Hoshina huffs out a sigh as he walks out of the captains meeting with the other divisions. Ashiro couldn't attend so he went in her stead—much to Captain Narumi's displeasure. He did take you with him hoping that after this maybe he could convince you to get ice cream with him or something on the way back home to base. He can already imagine how bored you were waiting for him and how that might higher your chances of saying yes. He remembers you were talking with some other recruit from the 1st division when he left you in the break room.

The sound of your voice makes him halt a couple of steps infront of the break room.

"Eh? No way you think Captain Narumi is cooler than Captain Ashiro," he hears you argue.

"I'm sorry are your eyes broken or something? He's so hot. You can't compare him to her like that. They're two different kinds of hot" the girl he assumes he saw earlier responds passionately.

"Sure I'll concede to that but not to him being cooler." That's not something Hoshina wanted to hear right after his hours long meeting. Leaning back against the wall beside the slightly opened door, he can't help but feel irked. He couldn't believe he's getting jealous of Ashiro.

"Ugh that's just cuz you haven't seen him up close yet, " the other girl responds. "But hey, at least there's one thing we can agree on."

"And what's that?" You ask and Hoshina can tell your interests has been peaked.

"That Vice Captain Hoshina is the worst of the bunch." Hoshina's eyebrow twitches and he has half a mind go in there and make the recruit do 200 push-ups or try to find Narumi and beat him into a pulp. He doesn't because he was more curious about your response.

"I saw you rolling your eyes at him before the meeting. It must be tough working for him," the recruit continues.

You let out a tired laugh, "oh yeah, he's the worst. He's got me running around like a servant!" You say with a sigh and you lean your head onto your crossed arm on top of the table.

"Really! That's crazy. I just can't get over his bowlcut."

"RIGHT! His stupid bowlcut. His stupid fangs. His stupid cocky attitude..." Alright, well. Hoshina couldn't handle anymore of this. He pushed himself off the wall ready to open the door.

"God, I want him so bad." Huh? Hoshina froze in his steps, eyes wide open. Did he mishear you? He must have misheard you.

"HUH?" The recruit repeats a second later. "But you were just calling his hair stup-"

"It is stupid. He should not look that hot with that hair cut," you ramble on seriously as if in a world of your own.

"Stupid little fangs. I hate the way he uses them to nibble on his lips when he concentrates. Why the fuck does he have fangs?! Is he a vampire? God, it's so distracting." Although you're saying all of this like a rant, Hoshina can't help but overheat in his uniform. Covering half his face with his hand he already knows he's red.

"What? Are we looking at the same person?!" The recruit exclaims exasperated with you.

"I think I'm losing my mind," you say running your hand through your hair trying to soothe yourself. "He's so annoying. Always teasing me and sticking so close to me. God I feel like I'm always a second away from tearing at my hair or tearing that stupid compression shirt off. Any tighter and he won't be able to breath. It's like he's doing it on purpose to show off his abs." Hoshina chokes on his own spit.

"You know what? M-maybe it's cuz you haven't gone on a date in a while. Maybe you just need to get laid." The recruit says with a touch of worry—genuinely trying to find any rhyme or reason to your attraction.

"Ughhhh," you say sliding down your chair. "Maybe you're right, I should get laid." There's a pause before you're suddenly sitting back up straight. You lean towards the recruit across the table, "maybe I'll ask Captain Narumi out."

NO "NO!! He's off limits don't you fucking dare!" The recruit screams standing up abruptedly and slamming her hands onto the table.

By the sounds of your maniacal laughter, Hoshina hopes you're only joking.

"Don't worry," you wheeze out, wiping a tear from your eye. "Your precious Captain is all yours." Hoshina hears the humour and mischief in your voice and he can't help but smile too. From the sound of your voice, he knows you're not done teasing the recruit.

"PLUS-" Ah, there she goes " Vice Captain Hoshina is much much MUCH cooler than Captain Snorumi anyways."

The scandalous gasp does well to hide his own snicker.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"That's just the truth, hun. We all know it," you say matter of factly as you lean back into your seat crossing your arms.

"You can't even compare someone who's only a Vice Captain to a Captain! Captain Narumi climbed the r-"

"Oh is being Captain all it takes to be cool? Well Narumi must've been a drag before he became Captain." You argue back defiantly and cheekily, clearly enjoying this.

"Well swords are powerless against a gun! He can't-"

"And yet he was able to be promoted to Vice Captain with his swords while some of us can't even become a platoon leader with their guns." Both the recruit and Hoshina gasp at that and Hoshina decides to interrupt before the situation escalates further. If only he was a little less responsible. He would've loved to see how far you'd go for him. Oh well, he has all the time in the world to corner you about it.

"Yoohoo! The meetings over y/n-kun- Ah, sorry, was I interrupting something?" He says with a grin as both your heads snap towards him scandalized. Well, the recruit appears to be scandalized. You seem to be mortified.

Your jaw dropped open and the red that was flushing your skin from the tip of your ears all the way down to your neck was so pleasing. To think that you yourself would be the downfall of your cool and collected image amuses Hoshina greatly. He can only stare and admire the mess you've become. Too cute. Way too cute for his heart.

"C-captain!" Your voice cracks. Oh, even cuter. "I uh- I, we were- you didn't interrupt anything at all" you say clearing your throat and trying to regain your composure.

"What's got ya all worked up l/n?" He asks with false innocence as he tilts his head, "were you talking about something you shouldn't be?" He teases with a slight lilt in his voice.

"Of course not!" Growing a shade brighter you add "Sir!" to try to save yourself.

"Well alright then, come on let's go, I'm over this place," Hoshina says nodding his head goodbye at the recruit and exiting the room. He hears you whisper shout your own goodbyes before running to catch up with him. You stop and walk slightly behind him and he can't help but revel in your embarassment. He wonders if he should let you off easy or see how far he can push you...

"So you think my hair is stupid?"

He swears he can hear you internally scream.

[kaibutsushidousha]

Kodaka April Fools tweets 2024

Lying just because it's April Fools' is so dull. Honestly painful to watch. Lying in general doesn't do you any good. In my younger days, I told every lie I could, saying some genuinely insane stuff about being a supreme leader of evil and whatnot, and thanks to that, now that I'm in my thirties, I got famous for all the wrong reasons and can't find a stable job because people think I'm associated with the yakuza... Sigh, I wanna deck my cringe younger self's face. Quit lying for fun while you can.

My classmates aren't doing great either. Thinking you're hot shit during your school days always comes back to bite you... My advice to my past self: slow and steady effort is worth more than any talent. Also, the part of life you spent larping with that silly horse laugh is not going to be one you'll want to remember later. I wish I could make that clear to him. White lies aren't a thing. Talent is never enough. My class is proof of that. Wanna know what my classmates are like now that we're in our thirties?

Akamatsu became a piano teacher. Her player skills capped off in her teens, it seems. But she's not that good at teaching so she's considered kinda mid at her job. And now she's struggling with the father of a student incessantly hitting on her. Tough world to live in.

Toujou opened a housekeeping company but she was too strict with her employees so everyone quit. And now she's doing everything on her own. Sucks to be in your thirties without any successors or employees. She's a prime example of how being so much better than anyone else doesn't do you any good. Well, she's always working for celebrities, so she's doing well financially, but I heard about some major court fight about a missing item under suspicion of theft from one of her clients. That can't be nice.

Yumeno got to her thirties still saying magic is real, so she's past the point of no return. She agrees that's an unhinged way to live, but she's too old to suddenly change gimmicks. Work takes her all over the country, but her gimmick doesn't allow her to publicly drink, so she has to get plastered alone in her hotel room after shows. I wish she could fix her life with real magic.

Harukawa? ...Haven't heard that name in a long time. Now she was a living edgy fantasy. The past tense was because I hadn't heard of her in a long time. I don't know the details, but apparently, she went to some war zone outside of Japan because her first love didn't want to date her. Takes some real edgelord to react to a broken heart like that, but if she's still alive, I have no idea how her thirties are treating her. My personal guess is that she's a mother of many.

Chabashira opened her Aikido school but is having a hard time attracting students. So she had the idea of starting an anti-sexual-harassment campaign that could double as advertisement, but thanks to her cluelessness when it comes to romance, she got canceled for mistakenly tossing men in regular couples. She's still doing the "degenerate males" bit in her thirties. Girl really needs to get on with the times. Rumor goes that she still downs huge packs of tequila bottles with Yumeno every now and then. Really don't think there's any salvaging her reputation.

Shirogane is an office lady still continuing her cosplay hobby on the side. She could be doing well if she knew how to keep her mouth shut but frequently rambles about cosplay history and etiquette, so no one likes having her around. Stay emotionally dependent on a single hobby long enough and your passion starts to close you off to others. That's her problem.

Angie was the most successful in the class! She made big money both on the art and the religion fronts. However, there were some controversies about her devotees selling counterfeits of her paintings at exorbitant prices and one magazine made a huge news coverage of it, which resulted in her catching the police's attention. She's been recently untraceable, with the rumors saying that she'll never be back to Japan.

Oh, and Iruma... Up until some point, she had the best life of all of us. She made big money off of her inventions' patents. So far so good. Things only started going off-rails after she married an ex-stripper. The two started a YouTube channel together. And later, her husband ran in last year's elections and lost big time. They got an awful debt from his election campaign and she had to get into side jobs to pay it off. And her husband? Disappeared. No word from Iruma herself about what happened. Tough world to live in.

No further updates from Kodaka in the past 3 hours, so I assume he went to sleep and will come back to tweet about the 7 remaining boys in the morning.

[takamiwife]

hawks x reader who was never allowed to celebrate Halloween growing up? - 🌕

so fun fact while writing the og version my app crashed and everything was deleted

lol.

not lol.

ANYWAYS

happy (late) halloween and thank you for the request! 🧡🎃

i love u pookies

mwah

Y/N’S FIRST HALLOWEEN

“goooddd morning baby” keigo cheerily greeted you as usual as he kissed your head, reaching for a coffee mug

“morning” you yawned, sipping on your drink, watching as he poured his own

“guess what today is?”

“uhh.. october first?” you glanced at the calendar

“mhmm, it’s the official start of halloween season!” he grinned

“oh, i’ve never celebrated”

you said it so casually he nearly dropped his mug. i mean, he knew your parents were … different, but not celebrating halloween?

“what do you mean you’ve never celebrated?”

you shrug “my parents thought it was demonic or something, i don’t know. so they never let me celebrate it”

when you were younger, every year you watched kids laugh and skip down the street as you sulked on your couch, watching them go by, wishing more than anything it was you. having the channel changed when a halloween special came on, having your eyes covered when walking past halloween decorations, and the lot. as you grew older, you just kind of ignored it. even in college, when you first started living on your own, you still stayed in. it was normal to you now. you didn’t think the holiday was ‘demonic’ or cover your eyes, but you figured it was too late for you to enjoy it now

but keigo wouldn’t let that stand

how could you not have experienced candy trading? trying to hit every house in the neighborhood before their lights went out? carving pumpkins? picking out a costume?

“well now we’ve got to celebrate! cmon, get dressed, we can go to the orchard, buy costumes, decorations…” keigo began to list things off

“keigo, you don’t need to worry about me, you can have fun with it, i don’t mind if you want to decorate the house or get a costume”

“but,” he crossed over the counter, standing in front of you. “i want to do it with you”

and you had to admit, the man had a way of getting what he wanted. his puppy eyes were no match for anyone

“okay, okay, we can go out and get some things” you say over your mug, taking another drink, still believing you just had to give up on the holiday until the day you possibly had kids of your own

within the hour, keigo was at the door waiting for you in an orange sweatshirt and black jeans. tis the season after all

you came out, slinging your bag on your shoulder

“first up is decorations”

he said as the two of you got into his car, settling into your designated passenger princess ™️ spot

just as promised, you arrived at the local department store, keigo beelining it for the halloween decorations. blow ups, signs, plastic graves, fog machines, and anything else you could think of was stocked on the shelves, and he immediately began throwing things in the cart. the man loved halloween, what could he say

to be honest, it was a little overwhelming and somewhat jarring. keigo seemed to be able to look at all of this with a bit of a nostalgic lens, and you were a little jealous of that. to you, this all seemed like loud, flashy, expensive pieces of plastic

but it would make him happy, so you continued on

you just mindlessly nodded along as he threw things in the cart, eventually helping him carry out the ten bags of things and toss them in the trunk

next up were the costumes, and you found one of his hero suit, suggesting you dress up as each other, to which he responded; “we both know i don’t have the ass to fill out your pants”

it seems that the two of you just couldn’t find a costume to fit; too basic, too obscure, oh, i think that’s a child?, “i don’t mind short skirts, but this is just…” “that’s the point, you’d look good too” “fine, you wear it” “baby, not to brag, but you of all people know damn well it’s not gonna fit under there” “tuck it” “…let’s find another costume”

after scanning the entire store, you still couldn’t find anything you agreed on. this whole thing was starting to become a bust

“don’t worry, we can check another store later, we’ve still got the pumpkin patch to do!” keigo grinned, still not realizing that you were not in fact enjoying this as much as he had hoped

so, after being handed cider that was too hot for the cup and a donut that split in half and fell on the ground, you piled onto the tractor ride, squeezed in next to absolute strangers all while pieces of hay poked your butt. you and keigo each chose a pumpkin, and you nearly gagged the entire time while gutting it; at least you could carve it fine, right?

well, when you went to stab into your pumpkin, your hand slipped and you stabbed into your hand, causing a small incision

“shit, okay, i’ll go find some banda-“

“can we just go home? please?” you blurted out, trying to hold back the tears, the emotions you’ve been holding in all day finally breaking free

“oh.. um, yea, yea, of course” keigo nodded, holding your hand both for comfort and to keep the wound from getting worse the whole way to the car

he reached into his glovebox, taking out his first aid kit and cleaning your cut, placing a bandage over it

“if i had to guess, something else besides getting cut is bothering you, hm?” he asked softly

“no, it’s- it was just that” you lie

“don’t lie to me”

“it’s gonna make you upset” you shake your head

“y/n,” he held your hand “i won’t be upset, okay? i promise. please just tell me”

“it’s just… all of this. everything. nothing has gone right today, and it’s all just been… overstimulating. overwhelming. just a lot. i.. just can’t help but think that im just not meant to.. enjoy it like everyone else”

keigo nodded as you spoke. he had been.. a bit much today. he hadn’t considered that it would all be a lot to take in, considering that you’ve never done it before

“i’m so sorry,” he sighed, holding your hands a little tighter. “i didn’t mean to make you feel like that at all. i guess you can’t shove twenty two missed halloween seasons into a single day, huh?” he smiled, cupping your cheek. “how about this. what do you want to do?”

you thought for a moment

and all you could see was little you, looking out the window, head in her arms as she watched the trick or treaters go by, or the glimpses of halloween decorations from behind hands. she wanted this. you wanted this. maybe just at your own pace

so throughout the next few weeks, you decorated your apartment, dialing down on the decorations about 75%. small plush pumpkins throughout the house, a few fake cobwebs here and there, and some witchy decor scattered about. over properly warmed apple cider and non-crumbly apple cider donuts, you and keigo carved pumpkins with a cut-safe carving kit, and while you went for a classic triangle-eyed, square-tooth grinned pumpkin, keigo’s looked something like this:

you baked pillsbury halloween ghost cookies, rewatched all the halloween episodes of your favorite childhood shows, watched spooky movies, and yes, you two did decide on a costume

when halloween finally came, you came home from work practically bouncing

“did you get the candy to pass out?” you ask

“nope” keigo grinned

“what? but- we’re supposed to pass it out and go to the party later!”

“i know, but i had a change of heart. go get changed. we’re going trick or treating”

“keigo, we’re too old for that. we’ll look ridiculous”

“will we?”

you roll your eyes with a smile. “fine, but i’m telling you, you’re going to be disappointed”

and so, you got into your costumes respectively; nick wilde (with cut holes in the shirt for wings) and judy hopps; and damn, did keigo love you in bunny ears and that adorable little tail

you came back a few hours later, dumping nearly a full sack of candy onto the ground. you were surprised (and secretly pleased) that keigo was right. apparently, all you needed was a costume, and vocal chords to utter the magic words. in truth, you had an amazing time, bouncing (no pun intended) from house to house, people complimenting your costumes, the exhilaration keeping your body warm while the air was chilly, it was all so fun, almost freeing

after trading your candy between the two of you, you two cuddled up on the couch to enjoy your candy and a movie before the party, but you barely made it through the first twenty minutes before falling asleep against his shoulder

you would miss the halloween party that year, but keigo didn’t mind a single bit. baby steps, after all

[ayrtonswnna]

ʚïɞ "a podium to celebrate", pt II. OP81

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⋮ fluff. word count: 1.4k. ʚɞ part I here.

⠀✧₊⁺ oscar piastri x aria giuseppe (red bull driver!female oc)

summary: aria and oscar late night after the hungarian gp.

warnings: pure fluff but badly written, i am sorry. taylor swift references, max verstappen as a special guest, could have ended in smut but the writer didn't feel like it should.

"Where are you going?"

Aria cursed under her breath as she heard the neighboring door creak open, revealing her teammate’s face, grinning mischievously.

"Fuck off," she whispered, her backpack light on her shoulders as she glanced back at the driver over her shoulder. "Go to sleep. I got more points than you today. Go mull over that."

"Calling Christian right now... Babybull is leaving the hotel, and I bet she’s headed to McLaren’s. Should I guess the room?"

Verstappen pretended to be on the phone, teasing the younger driver, making her step back and playfully swat at his arm.

They were good friends. Ever since Aria debuted in Formula One, Max had been someone she looked up to and a fun coworker. She knew he was joking as he watched her leave.

"It's easy to guess the room; you'd be the one sneaking into their first driver's. I've read about it on Twitter," she taunted, giggling as he rolled his blue eyes. "Fuck off, Max. Go to bed. Leave me alone.

"You'll be alone with the winner. Let me at least crack a joke!" he continued in a playful tone, watching her resume walking. "Wishing my mate Piastri good luck — you've got too much energy."

"I'm sure he can keep up," she quipped before heading to the elevators and out of the building.

Sneaking off was something both the Red Bull and McLaren drivers were used to doing; it was all fun when they had days off and could freely be around each other. But there was also the thrill of leaving their own hotels just to see one another, and that’s where Aria was headed now. A rented car waited for her just outside, and the drive to the hotel where the McLaren crew was staying was quick — nothing like a GP lap, but close enough.

She knocked softly on her best friend's door, which opened to reveal a soft smile before she jumped into his arms.

"Hello, Formula One Grand Prix winner... How are we holding up?" Her tone was sing-song, arms wrapped around the Aussie’s neck as he lifted her by the waist.

"We are actually... having pizza and drinking soda for the celebration, and... whatever else you might have in mind."

Aria giggled as he carried her through the suite, making sure to discard her backpack somewhere on the floor. They did this every now and then, even on nights that could’ve turned into wild parties. While the other RB-MC duo might be headed to the club, these two would be headed to the couch.

They had known each other since their karting days, when it all started with a humble Oscar and a small-but-fiery Aria. He had always been too nice for the go-kart tracks, and she had felt the same protective instinct around him; a special kind of care he sometimes felt unworthy of.

Then things grew, just like they did. Formula 2, testing in better cars, and finally, the dream became a reality. They were still there for each other, spending nights together, celebrating wins, or keeping vigil after losses.

A lot had changed since the beginning — not just the karts evolving into complex, expensive machines. Like the way their lips touched so naturally now. Aria cupped the Aussie’s face before pressing a quick kiss to his lips, a simple peck they always played off as a joke. They handled things better that way.

"Alright, Mr. First-Win, put me on the couch so I can lay down and watch our new edits. Let’s go." She tapped the boy on the shoulder, prompting him to carefully place her on the sofa.

"Taylor Swift songs as requested." he teased, kneeling on the couch, his knees on either side of Aria’s body before he laid his head on her chest, waiting only a second before her fingers found their way into his hair.

Physical intimacy — that was them. They had their moments with no clothes on, nights that vanished too quickly, or touching each other in ways that ignited a fire. But there was something special about moments like these, too.

Just existing around each other, finding comfort amid their crazy, rushed routine — being each other's safe place. That was it, simply put.

"Yes, yes. Taylor Swift songs. ‘Daylight,’ please, dear Lord. Let a teenage girl edit us to the bridge of ‘Daylight,’ please." Aria joked as usual, while Oscar giggled on top of her, watching her TikTok before she searched for their names in the search bar.

"This is just crazy. Do you ever think about it?" Oscar’s voice dropped at least an octave.

"About how cute we look on podiums? And talking to each other in the paddock?" she teased, her fingers tracing soft lines on his scalp as his hands rested on her sides.

"About how people think they’re making things up about us when it’s actually... real."

They had made a deal ever since their friendship started including kisses and waking up naked in each other’s beds. It was easier without the public's eyes on their personal lives. But still, people insisted on "making up" a relationship for them.

They did it with any two drivers who ever looked at each other, so why wouldn’t it happen to the one duo that was always together? Driver’s parade? Leaving the paddock? There was even a clip of Aria waiting outside McLaren’s motorhome as if she were Romeo waiting for Juliet.

However, she had only one thing in mind. "Real."

"So we’re real." A little smirk tugged at her lips, which Oscar couldn’t see, but there was no way he didn’t know her well enough.

"Stop smiling." he chuckled, his own lips curling up. "We were always real, Aria. Quit this talk."

"Real like... edits of us with that Zayn song? Look at us, look at us!" She shoved her phone in his face, the screen flashing edits of their moments earlier that day, set to the song.

But Oscar was quick to notice things, especially when it came to Aria. She ran from deep conversations and would joke her way out of anything, even if she had to joke all the way to heaven to avoid uncomfortable topics.

"Real like real. Real like really, really, really real." It had been on his mind ever since the cool-down room. It was.

"Hmm... Yeah." Aria mimicked the probable hours of footage of Oscar making these same sounds, and he couldn’t help but laugh softly as he raised his head just enough to see her. "What do you mean, Osc?"

Oscar was trying to get to three simple words.

But Aria made it so hard to get to that point. They had said it before, they did every now and then. The challenge was fitting the words into what they truly meant.

Not as a friend, not as someone who grew up with you, not as the fan they were of each other — none of that.

"You don’t?" He raised his head a little more, moving up her body in a funny way just to be closer. "Aria, you know I would’ve had a very, very strange first win if it wasn’t for you, right?"

"Nah, I just did the world a favor by soaking you in champagne. You won the race, remember?"

"Stop joking, Ri. I’m serious." His thumb caressed her chin, his eyes roaming over her face. "You’ve been doing this for me for years now — you’re always there."

"Because I always win." A forced, playful smile tugged at her lips as Oscar lightly rolled his eyes. "That’s what we do for each other, Osc. Stop. No need to say anything."

"Hmm?" At this point, he was lost, focused on how her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her lips moved with her Italian accent, and how it felt to be on top of her. Just existing. "You know what, Aria? I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a—"

No need to finish. There wasn’t a need to say it because they had always known. Her lips crashed into his like a car into a wall. Everything went silent as her hands found their way back into Oscar’s hair, caressing the soft locks as his body lifted slightly.

The kiss deepened, a rush of emotions pouring into it. A tender feeling, yet filled with passionate intensity.

He was still on top of her, but no longer lying down. One hand balanced on the sofa, while the other hooked around the girl's neck, their bodies pulled closer, as if afraid to let go.

Every second seemed to stretch, filled with the sweetness of the moment as they melted into each other, the kiss saying everything Aria didn’t let Oscar say.

"I know you love me," she whispered, still close to his lips as they both gasped for air. "Because I love you too."

ʚïɞ

[mschievousx]

now and then | b.b.

pairing: benedict bridgerton x ofc

summary: loraine silva always knew she was not normal. she loves unusual things. she loves her father's guns, horses, boxing, climbing a tree, falling from a tree, engineering, astronomy... oh, and a man eleven years older.

series masterlist

xii. twelve: let it go

benedict bridgerton has not left his room for days now. he laid down with his agony, curled on his sheets. his pillow wet in the tears that served as witness of this torment.

most people grieve for those who don't know what they have until it is gone. but, what about those who do know? those who tried their hardest to hold on, yet could only look on helplessly while they lost the thing they loved the most. isn't it so much worse for them?

how many sleepless nights now, he does not know. when they were together, he avoided sleep so he could have more time with her. and now that she is gone, he wishes to sleep more so he might know fewer hours of her absence, and perhaps, spend longer in dreams with her.

it took him days to even talk, forgetting his own voice as he got so familiar with his cries. he wanted to be happy but found it painfully hard as her love was his happiness.

yet, what if love is not here to make us happy? perhaps, it exists to show us how much we can endure.

but benedict did not want to endure anymore.

for the first time in a long while, he was terrified. oh, how terrifying to face the future without the one you planned it with. how can you wake up from a nightmare if you are not asleep?

someone knocked on his door, one that he has recognised as anthony's knuckles by the firmness of the sound. he did not want to stay on his bed forever, so he desperately pushed himself out, trying to see what has been of the others. he neared to open the door slightly ajar before sitting down on a couch defeatedly, his brother surprised by the turning of the knob.

he stepped in, noting the desolateness of the room. he wanted to be there for him, but losing a loved one you were never able to fully love was a different kind of pain—one that anthony was not familiar with at all.

so, he did the only task he was left with. he walked to him, giving the pad he has been holding unto to his younger brother.

"her journal," he maintained his voice in a serene one, seemingly afraid that anything higher would trigger something from the other.

benedict turned to him at that with shock. he did not know she writes. he often thought the girl preferred saying her thought out loud than put it to paper. he opened it, reading from entry to entry, word by word.

a small snicker left his lips when the most he could read about was how the young little silva had fun infuriating him. it was clear on her handwriting—the curve of the letters, the stretch of its end. she was full of excitement when she was writing this. it was written in her point of view. he turned the twelfth page over, only to find that no entry follows anymore.

"why did she stopped writing when she was eight?" he turned to the older, eyes still with traces of redness. it was around the time armand had snitched his daughter to benedict, saying that the girl likes him.

"she said there was no longer a need to write what she felt because she can say it to you directly." anthony offered him a small smile, leaning down to turn the pages to the last, "she wrote on the day she left for the parliament."

the viscount watched as his brother traced each word with his fingers, afraid that it would be lost before he even realises it. noticeably, this one is written in the way her words talked to him directly. anthony placed a hand on his shoulder before stepping back again.

"i guess she knew she could no longer say it to you again."

my artsy,

i think i have loved you since i met you. i just mistook it for curiosity.

there are so many forms of love, and although it may have begun unromantically, i knew you were someone special to me. i would like to apologize—for coming into your life just to break your heart to pieces and leave you in the night.

i really would have loved to be able to attend the astronomical convention with you. we spent a night talking about it. if i knew i will not even get to go, i would have rathered spent the time with my lips in yours.

and so, if regrettably, the gods had it planned that this life of mine will never be enough to show you all my love, i promise—i will find you in another. and hopefully then, i still wouldn't run out of love and continue to pester you on to the next, and next, and for eternity.

because my love, we were never a match made in heaven. i am afraid afraid we are made in both far ends of the farthest cosmos.

and i will search every star, every galaxy, every universe, and every timeline until i find you.

know that i love you, down to my last word.

until we meet again,

forever your loraine

he pushed the pad farther from his eyes, afraid that the ink would smudge and her words can no longer be read. he held his head down, anthony going to his side at once and offered an arm at him.

benedict leaned weakly to him. he had told her before, and now it became his reality. the young lady was a fire—his fire—and he does not find himself worrying even if she will burn him. despite her absence, she still set him ablazed. he longs for nothing but her. how many life does he have to burn before he lives with her? and he could almost hear a whisper.

a hundred more. just a hundred more.

and he almsot felt relieved at that. a hundred more would be nothing. he was even prepared to burn thousands. that was how bewitched he was.

she was lovely—extremely, completely, entirely.

yet, even if it is full of love, all a ghost can do is haunt.

━━━ �� ❘ ☽ 【❖】 ☾ ❘ ✦ ━━━

the following day, lady bridgerton could not hold it anymore. her son was spiralling away. she missed him. so, she ascended their stairs, aiming for the room of the said son.

anthony has told her that he was, at the very least, responsive. she did not want her son to be reduced as someone thankfully responsive. benedict has always been full of colors.

he was an art himself.

she knocked, turning the knob and was surprised it was not locked. violet entered slowly, seeing the figure behind a canvas.

she called out to him, "my son, come with us."

there was no response, continuing to walk towards the man. entering the room fully, she could see random sketches of the young silva.

picking up a paper, his mother commented, "she was beautiful."

violet could hear a small hum from her son, still not tearing his gaze away from the art he is currently working on, "she will forever be."

she warmly smiled at that. the son who has repeatedly told her before that what she and edmund had was rare, now utterly taken beyond mortal relations.

she placed an arm around his shoulders for comfort as she took a look at the painting, "you love her so much."

he added a detail on her features, "if i could say it in words, there would be no reason to paint."

her heart broke for his son she almost felt like it was her fault. maybe, that was why the two met each other and loved each other when they were still too young. they were not meant to grow older together.

she placed a peck on top of his head, "will you come out with us soon?"

benedict placed down his brush, exhaling defeatedly. nonetheless, he turned to his mother with a weak smile, "after i finish this."

violet nodded at that before giving him back his solitude. it took quite the days before he completed the artwork. the sun rose and set, yet the stars only dimmed.

on the night he finally finished the painting, the dead of night was clear and the stars began to find their shine once again. a hopeful thought graced his mind.

perhaps, someday, somewhere, at a less miserable time, they will see each other again.

he turned to his table, scrambling to get a paper and pen. he will not let the night go on as if it was just any other night. this darkness shined a light, one he only recognised when the girl was present. and maybe, you can call it a pathetic attempt of hope, it was the young silva watching him as his hand gripped the pen.

my loraine,

i will remember you longer than i knew you, and i will never come to terms with that.

thus, i will find you when you return, even if you are a thousand years late.

give me your permission and i will continue to love you in another. believe that i will run amock across the universe until i find you.

and so, when you see the world ending in the newspapers, trust that it is my work because i still have not met you again.

let us make us happen, some other time.

until we meet again,

forever your artsy

perhaps, they were right in putting love into books and poems—perhaps, it could not live anywhere else. they did say that everything will be fine in the end. and if it isn't, then it is not the end yet.

he has learned that grief is not accepting that she died. it is acknowledging that she is still alive in everything that he does.

and so he hopes—he hopes that all this grief stays with him because it is all the unexpressed love that he did not get to tell her. he will never let this go.

indeed, what is grief if not love persevering.

the pain will remind them of each other. when they meet later, if there is a later, they will recognise each other by it.

and just because this life is painful, it does not mean the next one will be.

taglist: @aadu2173 @imgondeletedis @pumkiinpasties @rebleforkicks @perseny @everavenclaw @datingbtr @peetahpahkah @myo11 @idek-what-to-put @aysamuka

[wishmaster]

Morning Wishmaster. I've just followed thanks to my attraction to powerful reality bending entities, wishing to see how magnificent you are if you can grant me this wish. It's quite simple, I think. There is this muscular jock that doesn't have a lot of smarts in the head, so he results to bullying nerds. I wish to merge with him completely, to the point that the past never knew either of us being separate.

Muscle Head

First off, thanks for the follow and I hope you enjoy my content, but I guess you do since you've come to me with a very detailed wish.

Your target is quite amazing to look at, though he is more brean than brain. And damn he loves showing off online. Though he does have the body for it. So firrst of all I want you to get him to wear soemthing of yours, maybe your glasees.

You give him an old pair before you got too dependent on glasses. He slips them on after calling you a dumb nerd and punching you in the gut.

Once on he suddenly feels your gut pain and you begin to feel strange as well, his body now seems to be sucking you towards it, once your ass hits his leathers panst you feel his hard on straining against the fabric, but soon, you feel the powers of his hard on as your two bodies phase in and out until you are totally absorbed by your jock crush. You feel powerful as you both suddenly realize what's happened, in order to make sure you don't end up in the looney bin, the dominate personality takes over which surprisingly is you, Jake always figured being big and strong he'd be a dominate personality, but he quickly folds as your brains merge with his memories. Suddenly your pasts merge, you remember when you were younger and the kids made fun of you because you were smart, so in middle school you started to workout and by highs school you had become this amazing looking muscle god. Once you graduated high school, you spent a few years modeling before heading back to school where you are currently studying to be a compute engineer. For extra cash you show off your amazing body, which you are constantly posting all over the internet.

You've become quite popular and in demand, you've even thought about pausing your studies and embracing your amazing body as your need to be even more appreciated in your new form grows. Suddenly the past forgets you were both separate individuals and now you've completely embraced your new muscled bro form. The more you embrace that side of your new life, the faster your years of smarts start to fade away. You thought you could have it all but the jock deep inside will make sure that's not the case.

[perfectlyoongi]

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who holds your favorite stuffed toy hostage until you return his clothes. when you gave Taehyung a spare key to your house for emergencies, you never thought that those emergencies could have a more material basis. it’s just that, whenever he noticed that a coat, sweater, anything, was missing from the closet, Taehyung knew perfectly well what happened and who did it. as such, and whenever he knew you weren’t home, he made use of the key you gave him and quickly went to your house to get your favorite stuffed animal. when you got home, on your bed there was a note from Taehyung asking for his clothes to be rescued or your stuffed animal would suffer the consequences. but for as many kidnappings as Taehyung had done, you had done many more, and you knew that it didn’t matter if he had your stuffed animal or not, you would never stop stealing your brother’s clothes. “you have 24 hours to give me my shirt and coat back. otherwise, your stuffed animal will suffer the consequences. if you contact the parents you will never recognize your stuffed animal again, so be careful with what you do.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who brags about all the places he visits, just to see the ones that make you most envious to take you there as a surprise. france or brazil, poland or vietnam, whenever Taehyung visited a different country or city he quickly filled your chat with as many photos as he could take. food, landscape, monuments, a whole mix of digital memories found your cell phone whenever Taehyung left the house and didn’t take you with him. but without ever admitting it, Taehyung always paid attention to your reactions, smiling when you insulted him for being in edinburgh, seeing hotels in peru for when you blocked him when you saw his plane ticket. besides bragging and having fun seeing you in that state, Taehyung would just be eager to go home and schedule a weekend or a holiday with you in that city that almost made you commit an atrocity with him. “guess who’s going to eat an original pizza from italy next week. and guess who’s going to just see pictures and wish they were there.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who bought matching necklaces for your 18th birthday. when you were still a kid, one of your favorite games was making beaded necklaces and bracelets to sell in your fictional store. you would spend entire mornings creating long or thick necklaces and various colorful or unique bracelets that you would put on display on your stall in the garden of the house. but that game was only special to you because Taehyung, your older brother, bought almost all the jewelry you made and wore it whenever he left the house. you were always overjoyed when you saw Taehyung wearing that necklace with white flowers or the purple and green bracelet — it was the highlight of your childhood. so, to return to more innocent times, wanting to remind you that he never forgot that favorite game of yours, Taehyung bought two matching necklaces to give you on your 18th birthday. “i took some of the necklaces you made as a kid for them to get inspiration from. i hope you realize that these necklaces only exist because you sold me a set of them when you were five.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who refuses to touch you in public. Taehyung was your older brother, and as an older brother, Taehyung couldn’t be seen, or associated, with you. i mean, where have you ever seen an older brother hugging or caring for his younger sibling? it’s totally a ridiculous concept! so whenever the two of you went out together, or were surrounded by more distant friends or family, Taehyung made a point of never being close to you. just because he loves hugging you and asking you countless times to massage his head, no one on the outside could know how important you really are to him. and you knew Taehyung just wanted to maintain an image as a tough guy who doesn’t need his little sibling. but you also knew that he could never refuse a hug from you or kiss on your forehead. so, in those times when Taehyung was on the other end of the world, you made it your personal mission to find Taehyung and ask for a little hug — it was a very fun game of cats and dogs for you. “i already told you to leave. i don’t care if you want a hug. can’t you see i was going ther— fine, okay. but it has to be quick. come here.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who looks for you on those tiktoks made by 12 year olds. ‘your initials like dog duos’. ‘your initials as iconic duos’. ‘your sign, your profession in the fantasy world’. ‘the month you were born and your magical pet’. honestly, practically any and all videos with these premises enchanted Taehyung and made him return to childhood times where he wanted to be everything and everyone. so now, as an adult and living far away from you, Taehyung kind of got addicted to these videos that showed all the lives he could have lived; and in all these videos, Taehyung was also looking for you, curious what life you got, wanting to know if there, just like in real life, you completed Taehyung’s life in some way. “i confess that i like to see those who have duos as their main focus. but i have so much fun seeing if i’m a knight or a jester, because almost every time you’re there completing me.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who stole all your childhood photos from your family albums. your mother always complained to you when she opened a family photo album and saw blank spaces where your and Taehyung’s portrait should have been. but you just laughed at your mother’s swear words and empty threats she made. she would never get those photos back, but she also didn’t care about trying to do so. those empty spaces in your family’s album were just early memories of a happy childhood. in all those photos, there was a little Taehyung and an even smaller you. in all those photos, there were your first steps holding Taehyung’s hands; the first time you tried Taehyung’s yogurt; the first time you played ball and scored in Taehyung’s goal. in all those photos, your growth was always accompanied by your older brother. “mom saved this photo in our holiday album. but look! it’s the first time you’ve been to school. you were so proud! of course i’ll keep it.”

OLDER-BROTHER!TAEHYUNG who still shouts ‘shotgun’ when you go out with someone else. you and Taehyung shared hundreds of stories and countless jokes, and although you are already adults and each one grew out of those games, the truth is that there was always, and forever, something that would never be changed or forgotten: Taehyung always had the seat next to the driver. it could just be to take out the trash on a rainy day or pick up bread on a warm afternoon, but whenever you and Taehyung shared the car with anyone else who drove, Taehyung would remind you, over and over, that he was the older brother: Taehyung was the one driving when there was no one but the two of you. Taehyung stayed in the passenger seat when someone was driving. Taehyung always sat behind the passenger seat when the whole family went out. it was him. and only him. and don't you dare steal Taehyung’s seat. he had a thousand and one pranks in a notebook since you were born — before you even met him, Taehyung already knew the respect you had to show him, whether you wanted to or not. “shotgun! again! man, don’t you get tired of never being able to beat me? do you have so much admiration for me that you prefer to see me from behind? ow, that’s actually very sweet of you, pet.”

[leoruby-draws]

Decided to post some more random, mostly minor characters from the DC universe, mostly ones that seemed they would be fun to draw. I guess technically these drawings are all based in my TrWh au, as always. Here they are:

Wanted to draw heroes with wings, I draw Vanessa quite a bit so I had to learn wings and feathers. Still working on it, but its fun. You can see Vanessa there at the bottom middle, looking a little menacing.

The girl with red wings is called...Redwing aka Carrie Levine. I thought she was a sweet kid, so her ultimate fate was pretty sad. Wonder if she'll come back to continuity at some point.

The guy with the mohawk is Northwind aka Norda Cantrell, part of Infinity Inc the earth 2 version of a Teen Titans group. He honestly didn't get a whole lot of focus in Infinity Inc, like the writer didn't know what to do with him. Maybe they should've made him into the magic fighter of the group, almost felt like thats what they were going for him before they wrote him off.

The girl in yellow is Dawnstar, part of the Legion of Superheroes. I haven't read much of LoSH, mostly some 90's issues. But her design is soooo pretty I had to draw her, her costume here is a mix of her various outfits.

Lastly, here's Bluejay aka Jay Abrams again, part of Justice League Europe. Kinda thought JLE was a bit of a letdown, I mean the team's made up of mostly americans not europeans! I think Crimson Fox was the only european, I thought her set-up of being two people was cool.

Little extra Infinity doodle, here's Hector Hall (Silver Scarab) hating on poor Norda, with Lyta Trevor (Fury) looking on with confusion. Hector's just a hater (tho there's reasons for it ig), an archetype you see sometimes in some superhero groups, like Roy Harper or Guy Gardner. The plot-line of Hector's resentment of Norda was kinda interesting, but like with most things in Infinity it didn't get the focus it should've gotten. Speaking of Infinity, here's some more doodles:

There's Rex Tyler (Hourman 1) with little Rick Tyler (Hourman 2), enjoying some father-son time. Apparently Rick's first costume isn't well liked (so says reddit). I thought it seemed cute but maybe it works better as a kid's or sidekick's kinda costume?

In the middle is Jack Knight (Starman) suffering as he interacts with Sylvester Pemberton (Skyman, formerly the Star-Spangled Kid) and Courtney Whitmore (Stargirl, actually she should still be S-SK but whatever). In my au he actually joins Infinity Inc, since everyone becomes heroes earlier he's actually around when the team's still running. I suspect his dad (Ted Knight) forced him into it. Also Courtney doesn't respect Jack at all, he's so annoyed at this. Look at her mini-staff, I presume Ted made it for her.

Also there's Beth Chapel (Dr. Mid-Nite) and Jesse Chambers (Jesse Quick) looking cool. Jesse also joins Infinity Inc in my au, will there be a love triangle going on between Beth, Rick and Jesse? Don't think Rick's gonna survive that, aw well.

Look at baby Jade and Obsidian, Alan is overwhelmed by their antics.

In another post someone asked if I could draw more of the Relative Heroes, a super obscure hero group. So @draculaura1660, this one's for you. Here they are:

I kinda had a hard time drawing this group, cuz their costumes are so complicated! I wished there was a reference/concept art for them cuz it was a struggle trying to figure out the details, the comic art did not help matters at all. You might have noticed I changed details anyways, I tend to simplify costumes for my au both to make it easier to draw and also to signify their younger ages. It's just fun to play around with costume design ig.

Some more characters!

Jinx, who looks very different between her comic and cartoon self. I did like her pink hair, so decide to see how it would look on her comic self. There's Kole, who also has different designs in comic/cartoons. I think her comic costume is so cool, esp that color pallet! But I love her pink hair in the cartoon, so she's got pink hair here! Just like pink hair a lot lol.

The other pink haired girl is Laethwen, love interest of Ray Palmer in Sword of the Atom. I think I made her hair more pink to better differentiate her from Starfire, also, again I just like pink hair. I wished she and her little kingdom didn't die, in my au Ray saves them! Maybe he relocates them to his backyard or something?

Little Donna and Vanessa doodle, did you know they never once interacted on panel? The closest is when Donna brings her stepsister Cindy to talk to Vanessa instead. I wonder how they would even interact, I know Vanessa wanted to be wonder girl (and resented Cassie for 'taking' it from her). Did she look up to Donna, or wanted her out of the way? Funnily enough Donna wasn't even Diana's sidekick when post-crisis started, due to both their origins being reworked and contradicting each other's timelines. It's all very confusing.

Anyways, some bonus doodles:

Had fun making a new outfit for Laethwen, I imagine she took some inspiration from indigenous groups from the Amazon, seeing as that's where her people crashed into.

Kole's costume is just so beautiful but so complicated, maybe that's why she got killed off so soon in Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Lastly, here's Bette bugging Dick with Barbara being super amused about it. I said in my post about her that I didn't really care about her crush on Robin, which is true, but I still wanted to doodle something making fun of it. Poor Dick is doesn't know how to get outta of this social situation.

Well that was a lot, hope you liked all that.

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 9, Part 10

Darwin: Are we going to game or what

Carson: Just let me send this selfie first

William grabs the seat by Onyx while Carson and Darwin get the spots in front of the screen.

Darwin: I can’t believe we have to have more classes with Mrs H

William: She is the senior teacher

Onyx: And the senior grump

Carson: I’m always worried she’ll give me detention again

William: I thought you were getting help for the OCD

Onyx: Don’t need to have OCD to be worried about her, I’m worried about her. Darwin you’ve got to try curb your antics when she’s teaching us

Darwin: Now where would be the fun in that

Carson: How about not getting your friends sentenced with detention by association

Darwin: Fair point. Oh come on, who threw that banana?

Onyx bursts in to laughter and Darwin throws a cushion at them.

William: Good game folks. See you all at school tomorrow

Onyx: Yeah I better see if my parents are ready to go

Carson: Any headway with Anya lately

Darwin: *sighs* I wish, she’s left me on read for two days now. How about your girl

Carson: *laughs* She’s not my girl

Darwin: She’s pretty, maybe she should be you know? It doesn’t matter that she’s younger if you like her, that's what I tell myself about Anya

Harvey: I think that dinner was a success

Kayleigh: So do I! Oh Reece called while you were doing the dishes and he and Samir are fine to come stay. Plus I let him know Carson and Charlie know about the werewolf business

Harvey: Did Carson faint with shock

Kayleigh: *laughs* No so I guess we were wrong about that

Harvey: We’ll have to keep an eye on him during the visit. Make sure he doesn’t get stressed about a werewolf being under the same roof

Kayleigh: Will you be stressed

Harvey: Not if he gives me grandbabies

After his normal morning routine Carson was delighted to see a text from Ariadne pop up on his phone.

Ariadne: Great news! They’ve opened the rink at school

Carson: How is that great news

Ariadne: Because I’ve been dying to go ice skating so bring your skates

Carson: They weigh a lot

Ariadne: Never let a little weight put you off! I like things with a little weight to them

Carson: Okay, okay, I concede

At school the news of the rink opening had gotten around and several kids had brought their skates. Carson found Ariadne at the edge of the rink looking at them with awe.

Carson: Have you ever actually skated before?

Ariadne: Carson, you're here! When I was little my grandmother took me a few times but... it has been a while

Carson: Maybe it’ll be like riding a bike and you’ll remember

Ariadne: I hope so. I'd rather not fall on my butt in front of everyone

Carson: So... got a sparkly costume hiding under the coat

Ariadne: *giggling* Do you

Carson: Drat. You told me to bring skates, not my leotard, it's back home

Ariadne: Always good to leave something for next time

Carson: *laughs* I mean you’d look much nicer in a sparkly outfit than I would

Ariadne: I think you look nice anyway

Carson: Oh, really?

Ariadne: We ah- we better get on the ice or we’ll be talking until class starts

Carson: Ladies first

Ariadne was first on the ice out of the pair with Carson close behind. He may be asthmatic but he didn’t mind something slow like ice skating. He did his best to keep up with Ariadne but he did slip over once or twice. Luckily he was behind her so felt pretty confident that she’d missed it. As the bell rang and he headed off the rink to class he missed her also wiping out.

In art class Carson was glad to see Mrs T back. She was always much calmer and knew a bunch about art. As she gave a rather detailed analysis of perspective in art he felt his skill grow.

Down the hall in social studies it was a different story.

Artemisia: *whispers* Hey Roger, yo mamas so lazy she has a stay at home job and is still late to work

Roger: Shut up Emi, you know she’s a social worker. I’m not getting suspended again because you can’t control yourself

Artemisia: Only my friends get to call me Emi. Hey Roger, yo mamas so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper

Roger: Don’t think being a girl will stop me from punching you

Artemisia: Go ahead. My Pa will sue you until yo mama is so poor the ducks throw bread at her, oh wait, she already is

Previous ... Next

[teyamloving12]

I read the foursome story and it had me in a chokehold how do you do it so well🧎🏾‍♀️🧎🏾‍♀️

Pt. 2 where the husbands go out again but plot twist: the wives want to make them jealous by “flirting” with other guys, and Ronal teaches the reader how to be a brat. The outcome is unexpected to them because not just Jake but Tonowari shows his rough dom side (bc Jake taught him after the first story and now he can act on it). The boys blindfold/tie the girls up and use them however they want (ex using toys, tail pulling, spit, daddy kink, overstimulation, edging, throat fucking, breeding, face slapping, marking, spanking, etc). Before they do that though they make Ronal + the reader get off on each other for what seems like forever. Then after the boys are finished they make the girls do the same thing because they like the sight of both of them dripping their cum

Frustrated Wives Part 2

Warning: brat taming, hard dom!Tonowari and Jake, spitting, spanking, breeding kink, f x m x f x m, daddy kink, etc.

Pairing: Jake x Reader x Tonowari x Ronal

Synopsis: Jake and Tonowari are gone again and Ronal wished to teach you something new.

@neytirishottie

Read part 1 here❤

Last night was a beautiful experience and now Ronal wants even more. You would be a liar if you didn't agree. It was an experience to remember. Were you both mad you shared husbands? No, in fact Ronal even encouraged you and Tonowari to try a little something once again.

Ronal swam around you, the rippling water tickling your sides. "Come on Ma Y/n, let's try something different today. I want to feel it again!", she exclaimed. "My husband?", you joked. She shaked her hand frantically. "Ok what do you suggest?", you asked your friend. "You see that man.", she pointed. He was handsome, devilishly handsome. Your eyes widened as you realized her plan.

"Ronal No! We can't! Well at least I can't.", you whispered. "Why not, Ma Y/n, let's live a little before they come back from the hunt.", she said. You knew how Jake was when he was angry. That's why you ended up with so many children. Out of his wrath, he fucked you like a dog in heat. He saw no one but her words were so convincing. We were just living a little nothing more, nothing less.

"Ronal I can't believe we just did that!", you yelled at her. She just shrugged. "But let's try something else!", she suggests once again. Ronal was crazy about last night, she want to happen on more time. You looked beautiful around her husband's cock. And Jake. Ronal has never been fucked rough in her life. You were lucky to have such a skillful husband that could please you anyway you wished in bed.

You listened to her plan while she smiled like a mad person beside you. Your eyes widened. You slowly recall when Jake did to Ronal for being mean to your son, Lo'ak and it was not good.

You kneeled behind her watching as your husband grabbed her by the chin aggressively. "You're quite a slut for someone that insults my son!", Jake spat dirty remarks in her face as she kneeled before him. "I mean he's not a real Na'vi, I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, 'Toruk Makto'.", she said back. Jake got angrier and pushed his cock down her throat. Poor Ronal. She reminded you of your younger self who you could barely take Jake in your mouth. In which you do still struggle.

Although it was a distant past now, you still got aroused from the situation. You tried to replace yourself with Ronal but you couldn't take it. The pleasure in your cunt got greater. She wants you to rebel aganist you, aganist your husband's words. You couldnt imagine being fucked like a whore. You obeyed his every command but why not have a little fun? You agreed to her plan and you learnt to be rude and say no when he wanted something. Now that were you fucked up.

Jake and Tonowari barged into the marūi furiously. They overhear a warrior saying how Toruk Makto's wife and the Tsahik were literally begging for his attention. You were scared. Tonowari walked over to you. "Is it true?", he tried to control his temper but it was clear this man was about to burst. He rubbed your temple hoping to hear a positive answer only to feeling you push your arms away from you.

"I'm a woman, I don't know you two telling me what to do when you're gone!", you said with your voice trembling a little. Tonowari looked to Ronal and tilts his head. He smirks. Tonowari grabbed your braids forcing you to look at him. " A woman you call yourself? No, only whores flirt with a man other than your husband.", he said with venom in his tone.

Jake glared daggers at the two women, especially Ronal. You were shocked he was not really angry at you. "You teaching my wife how to be a bitch, hmm?", he asked sarcastically. Ronal rolled her eyes. That's the exact reaction he wanted. Jake thought about something for a second, before you pulled a knife out if her side. You crawled before Ronal in fright. How adorable!

He used the knife to lift her chin up and smiled like a psychopath. "Take 'em off or I'll cut em off!", he barked in your face. Ronal slowly took off her clothes as if she was teasing him and you quickly did as you were told. You were trembling in fear. Jake threw the knife to the side and smirked. "You know what to do.", he said. "What?", Ronal spat. You tapped her shoulders and she immediately understood. "And what if I don't?", she protested. Your eyes widen.

"Don't worry this isn't your only punishment.", he said. Tonowari looked at you and smiled. "My wife is a bad influence on your beautiful mate.", he spoke up. "You and I will deal with her accordingly.", his voice boomed through his marūi. "What about me?", you whispered. "You're still getting punished, like probably 60 percent.", Jake laughed out. "Ronal is getting lesser than me!", you yelled. "Sweetcheeks, Ronal is getting 100 percent punishment!", he said.

"Chop chop, we don't have all night!", Jake hurried you both. Her hands slid down to your ass. She began to rub them gently and she increased in speed. Her fingers ran down to your wet folds. You moaned as you grabbed the mat. Jake and Tonowari got hard but you both were enjoying this way too much. Ronal grazed her head over your clit and smirks looking at you. "You nasty girl! You're not supposed to be wet, it's a punishment!", she laughed out.

She was one to talk because her juices soaked the ground. You pushed her head down because she was talking too much and grinded your hips into her face. She attempted to get out but you used your thighs to hold her down. You were god-sent. Tonowari was getting impatient. His cock was about to release itself on the women in front of him. Ronal's hands snuck in between her own legs and started to touch herself. Her fingers were soaked. Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as she pinched your puffy clit then taking it back in your mouth.

"Ronal please-- I beg you-- nnmgh-- I have to cum!", you said trying to hold back the moans from escaping your mouth. You looked to Jake. "Cam I cum for you daddy?", you asked. "Wari , did you hear that?", Jake asked in shock. "Such a good girl to ask for permission. Cum for us tìyawn.", he said calmly before you realized your juices all over Ronal's face. You both were exhausted not even noticing Jake and Tonowari coming closer to blindfold you both. Tonowari grabbed your hands gently and lifter them above your head with a rope and did the same for his wife.

You opened your eyes only to see darkness. "Its our turn to enjoy ourselves now!", you heard Tonowari's muffled voice. "Here's the rules of the game, one of us push our cocks in your mouth and you have to guess who it is. If you guessed right then we will slow down if not, our cock will overuse your slutty mouths!", Jake explained, pushing his thumb in your mouth enjoying his little time.

Let the game begin. You heard Ronal muffled a little bit. You were gagged on who ever was in her mouth. You were confused on who it was probably it was Jake or maybe it as Tonowari. While in thought, a cock was forced into your mouth. It was veiny and stretched out your mouth wider than ever. He continued to fuck your throat. You would to tap on his thigh but your hands were tied.

Your eyes rolled back in pleasure under the blindfold. He fucked your throat which left it sore and hoarse. He grabbed the back of your head and you choked on his cock. He came down your throat and slowly pulled out. His tip was on your lips, you french kissed the tip. It doesn't matter who it was. It was good but it certainly wasn't Jake.

You heard Ronal choked. She probably didn't process the fact someone just came in her mouth. "Guess who?", Jake asked. "I...I think it was Tonowari.", you guessed, whispering in his ear. Jake furrowed his eyebrows. "I was hoping you would get it wrong so I could have a go at you, baby girl.", Jake spoke out. "Its your turn, you whore. Guess who?", Tonowari asked his wife. "Was it you Wari?", she asked. "You guessed wrong.", Jake said. Jake forced himself into her mouth again.

Tonowari cut your rope from your hands. Your wrists were red and swollen. Tonowari kissed your wrists as a way of saying sorry. Jake looked back. "Don't spoil him Wari, she still needs to be punished.", Jake spoke out. Ronal's whimpers and moans on his cock make him go even deeper inside her mouth.

You snuck your way in between Jake and Ronal's legs to get a taste. "Ronal are you serious getting wet from sucking my husband's cock?", you asked as your tongue went even deeper inside of her. Jake looks at the women who bickering under him while looking at Tonowari with curiosity in his eyes.

Jake grabbed you by your hair. Ronal whined on Jake's cock wondering where the pleasureful sensation from her clit disappeared to. Jake ripped out her blindfold, only to see Tonowari lining up his huge cock with your soaked pussy. You ached your back giving his access to your cunt. You wiggled your ass for me making Tonowari lick his lips. Tonowari pushed himself inside of you. He grabbed your wiggling tail making you release a loud moan.

Ronal wanted to reach for her pussy but she was till tied up. Jake pulled out of her sloppy mouth. He sat her into his cock. "Moan and I'll stop!", Jake shouted in her face. Ronal bit her lip. Jake sucked on her neck and bit on the purple marks he left behind. Jake was fueled by anger and lust. The sloppy noises from the women's cunts made him go feral. Jake used one hand to push Ronal's hips on his dick and the other to cut down the rope.

She moaned out loudly from the harsh thrusts that slammed down on her womb. Jake slapped her across the cheek causing her to release a whimper. Meanwhile, Tonowari pushed your head down on the ground grabbing your tail for your hips to slam on her huge cock. "Say Jake how would you feel if I impregnated your pretty wife?", Tonowari asked. "Was gonna ask the same question!", Jake responded. Ronal was a whimpering mess which multiple hickeys on her teal skin.

Her fingernails sank into Jake's skin. She was coming. You watched as squirted all over your husband's cock while looking at you in the eyes. Jake came inside of her and pulled out. He walked over to you. His tip was on your lips asking for access to enter your pretty mouth. You licked him off clean. Tonowari was in full rage mode inside your pussy and without warning, he came inside of you. You smiled seductively and reached for Jake's balls and sucked them. Jake came on your face.

You crawled towards your exhausting best friend. You opened your legs and french kissed her clit before falling in beside her breasts. Jake and Tonowari smiled at this sight. "Wanna stay here forever Ma Jake.", you mumbled. He rubbed your cheek. "We will be fine, baby. I promise."

[star-centric]

I'm glad to hear you liked the older Nakahara prompt I sent! Hope you don't mind if I send another, I really like this idea as well. I was thinking of the aftermath of Chuuya learning about his siblings' amnesia and thought what if: Dazai got attached to Chuuya's sibling during the time they were together the same way he started to care for Oda and Ango in the future, basically genuinely seeing them as an older sibling. So now, he's constantly bickering back and forth with Chuuya (not that it's any different from Canon) like brothers and arguing over who's the favorite little brother. I say this because Chuuya's sibling would probably start to see him as a younger brother again, but in a sort of "I already have one baby brother, what's one more?" Type of way. They don't remember that he's their actual brother and think he's mistaken them for his actual sibling. They still think Dazai is their brother. I mean this in a funny way. They complain to Kouyou all the time about their "Little brothers who are constantly fighting"

CHARACTERS: Chuuya Nakahara and Older Sibling!Reader

NOTE: I guess this would count as a “sequel” (?) to this post, but that part doesn’t need to be read to understand this!

CW: strictly platonic/familial relationship, fluff, a teeny tiny bit of angst if you squint but it’s barely noticeable, mild language

“What am I going to do Kouyou?”

“I don’t think there is anything you could do.”

You sighed, already tempted to let your head fall on the table. You felt annoyed, confused, and more importantly- tired. Even when they weren’t around, you could still hear their arguments in your head.

You knew that Dazai and Chuuya had…friction between them. It wasn’t weird that they argue- you just didn’t think it would happen so much. It was tolerable at first, but now it’s getting to the point that you’re wondering what you did to deserve this. They may be two of the deadliest assets to the Port Mafia, but they’re still kids- and your little brothers.

“I mean, their fights don’t even make sense half of the time!” You whined. “I know that they’re teens and it’s bound to happen, but every single day? Don’t I deserve a break from this madness too?”

All Kouyou could do is chuckle and sip on her tea. You wish you could be relaxed like she was, even if she was being entertained by your pain at the moment.

“Of course you do- but I don’t think there’s any way for them to get along willingly outside of missions.”

“They can’t even get along during missions.” Which was true. The mission would be complete and you would come back with what was needed, but Dazai and Chuuya would still bump heads. Sometimes you wondered if your targets were grateful that they would be unconscious if it meant not having to listen to literal teens argue about whatever- you were a little jealous.

“They don’t realize how similar they are to each other- same with their goals revolving around you.”

“Which would be what?”

Kouyou was about to answer when you both heard a smash. Then yelling that was indiscernible at first until-

“See? That’s why I’m the favorite brother!”

“Like hell you are- you’re not even their brother!”

“That’s not what they think.”

You groaned while Kouyou watched on Dazai and Chuuya walked in, glaring at one another.

“Seems like that’s my cue to leave.”

“Wait Kouyou please-“

“I’ll stop by another time when you won’t be so…preoccupied. Have fun!” And with that, she walked off, heels clicking down the hall even with the growing yelling nearing your ears.

Dazai and Chuuya were already at each others throat, ready to hurl out more insults when you finally had enough.

You placed a hand on top of their hands, instantly silencing them.

If you didn’t care for them, you would probably both have them on the floor writhing in pain, showing the same mercy that you showed your enemies- which was none.

But you really did care for them- both of them.

“Hey, didn’t I say you two need to start being nicer to each other?”

“You can’t expect me to be nice to that dog-“

“And you can’t expect me to be nice to that bastard!”

You sighed- don’t know why you expected a different outcome.

“You’re both my favorites- so can you please stop now?”

You ruffled their locks, hearing them grumble under their breaths. You rolled your eyes- they can be so dramatic.

“You’re both my brothers, and nothing is going to change that.”

Chuuya snuck away from your touch, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. You’ve both come a long way from your initial meeting, and while there were some rockiness in the beginning, your relationship had gotten significantly better.

You really did see Chuuya as a brother.

But every time you said that, he would always look so…sad. So defeated, so bitter.

“I’m going to report to the boss.”

He sucked his teeth and walked away, not giving you a chance to stop him.

You thought you messed up any chance of a bond at first, but he gravitated towards you like nothing- so what was the issue? Even with Dazai trying to grab your attention, you couldn’t shake off your worriness.

You would try to get him to tell you what’s wrong, but he would just play it off like it’s nothing. The way his eyes looked just now told you a different story.

It bothered you that you couldn’t decipher what was eating at him. Your head would throb in frustration the harder you tried to dived into it. It was like an itch that you couldn’t scratch, the one thing that would linger on your mind each day.

It was like you were forgetting something.

[chimggukchim]

ep 3 was fun though was very different from what i(and i guess we all) expected. though i guess i can understand why many are disappointed by it, many are using it as a way to hate on tae and jk, aside from the hate jm usually gets from the cult. honestly, being in fandom spaces surely teaches you how stupid and entitled some people can be.

after knowing that tae planned to join only 2 days before, i couldn't help but think of how different the trip would be if he didn't come with them. jk did say smtg more than 3-4 times, implying that he wasn't completely onboard with tae joining them. but that doesn't mean he hates v, he just might be disappointed but it would never make him actively dislike tae because tae and jk do love each other a lot.

but this is making my anticipation levels rise more for sapporo. i just wish we have more ep of sapporo than jeju.

Agreed. I think once a third party enters a duo, the dynamics are bound to change. We now have 3 persons to interact with each other as opposed to two. It means 4 different variations of interactions as opposed to 1.

And we did feel and see the difference with episodes 3 and 4 so far. But it was still enjoyable nonetheless. Did I miss just having jikook playing off of each other? Sure. But having Tae there didn't really bother me. And you could say he was hardly interactive in ep 4, as he wasn't feeling well (slept early/didn't go scuba diving).

Like you and everyone else who isn't in denial saw, Jimin and Jungkook (especially) drilled it home in ep 4 that AYS is a JIKOOK show (at least this season). It was planned for just the two of them and Tae asked to come along to Jeju, he was not invited per say. And this is not a dig at Tae, I'm just stating what the boys themselves said.

And here's the thing - unlike Jimin, Jungkook cannot school his features to save his life. Our maknae wears his heart on his sleeve and his thoughts on his countenance, and says what he means. So by JK's own words, we can deduce that he didn't necessarily want Tae there with him and Jimin. We can also deduce from his comment about Tae being adamant, that he and/or Jimin probably told Tae no on more than one occasion until he maybe broke them down. I can see JK being more staunch than Jimin (he's definitely softer for his soulmate Tae bear).

Does this mean JK doesn't like Tae? It most certainly does not, like you pointed out. Jungkook, no matter what solos, antis and toxic shippers would like people to believe, LOVES ALL of his hyungs! And you could see in their interactions in ep. 3 that Tae and JK still have that cute, mischievous little devils dynamic they had when they were younger. Jungkook and Tae will have fun together no matter what and where they are, I have no doubt.

What I think it boils down to is Jungkook's cute little selfish streak he has (a FACT stated by him and the members on more than one occasion). Here's a guy that is enlisting in a few months, potentially going to spend 18 months away from his love. That's difficult for anyone. So Jungkook would naturally want to take any opportunity he is given to spend time with that love. And this show falls into his lap?! So at least from my perspective, JK not really wanting Tae to come was his selfishness coming out a bit and wanting to spend time with just Jimin. It had nothing to do with him disliking Tae or anything, but rather Jungkook wanting to be with just Jimin. Which is why I think Jimin was the ultimate decider there in relenting to Tae's puppy eyes.

And to Tae's credit, I do think he gave them enough time to be together anyway (away from the cameras).

At the end of the day, he's their 3rd musketeer, and he would have been there for them through everything. Some may say well if he really loved them then he should have left them alone. Well, to that I say to look at it from his perspective too. At this point, Jikook may not have known they got through with the buddy system, but Tae knew for a fact that HE would not be with his best friends for the next 18 months (just look at that Vmin embrace at Jin's release). And so, he would have seen this as an opportunity to not only be with them for a short time, but to give ARMY a little taste of the maknae line. Two birds, one stone. So I don't fault him.

Some jikookers may not like that take but that's fine.

Anyway, we have one more Jeju episode to go with VMinKook, and I am enjoying everything so far because I simply appreciate whatever content BTS/jikook chooses to give us.

And then we're off to Sapporo!!!...Where Jikook already knew they were enlisting together.

Should be...interesting.

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova's Notes - North and South - Chapter 3

Last time we saw our heroine Margaret, she had just received word that Henry Lennox had come to call on her. Let's see how it goes!

So, she is excited to see Henry, as she has just been thinking about him and his promise. Margaret is a little surprised though, since he's supposed to be off with Edith and his brother on their honeymoon.

*record scratch* Hold up, he was accompanying them on their honeymoon??? I know right! And not just him, but his uncle as well? What kind of monster is he?

Well, five seconds ago, I would've agreed with you, but I was able to find this article that points to this being a fairly common practice in order to ease the woman into the marriage (not exactly an academic source, but the first one I found). So, he's not intruding or third-wheeling, but instead helping grow the marriage. What a nice guy, right? Well...avid readers of this will know I'm not Henry's biggest fan, and in the first few sentences he -- again -- says something that raises my hackles a bit.

“'Oh!' said he, more lightly, 'our young couple were playing such foolish pranks, running all sorts of risks, climbing this mountain, sailing on that lake, that I really thought they needed a Mentor to take care of them. And indeed they did: they were quite beyond my uncle’s management, and kept the old gentleman in a panic for sixteen hours out of the twenty-four. Indeed, when I once saw how unfit they were to be trusted alone, I thought it my duty not to leave them till I had seen them safely embarked at Plymouth.'”

Oh no, our couple has done the horrible problem of -- *checks notes* -- having fun on their honeymoon...? If their version of a "prank" is ditching their relatives to get some alone time -- uh, yeah, I would too!!! I mean, I guess I can see where he's coming from on some of these points if they truly are taking dangerous risks, but it honestly sounds like they're trying to sneak in some alone time here and doing fun couple activities together. It's not good that the uncle is panicking, but his brother is in the army. Surely he's prepared for things like mountain climbing and saying they're "unfit to be alone" is quite ridiculous. If he's worried about them doing...other kinds of activities while alone...I hate to tell him, but they're already married so that ship has sailed (literally). If he's truly worried about "danger," how is he -- a lawyer -- more prepared to face it than his brother who's in the army? (Not that lawyers can't face danger, considering Jonathan from Dracula is a lawyer and he just climbed a castle wall not too long ago, but that's a different book/genre lol). Also presenting himself as a "Mentor" (capital M) is HILARIOUS to me considering a) he's younger than at least one of them and b) mentor to what? Being married??? Henry???? He probably means climbing or sailing, but my version is funnier -- just saying.

I guess he might also be kidding about some of this, which is something I should have considered but didn't because I don't pick up well on social cues (I'm like Margaret in that way: we'll get there :D). So if he is kidding, sorry about that, but if I'm to take what he's saying at face value here, he just sounds like a nuisance to the couple. He says he's now "relieved of many responsibilities" but it just sounds like he put those responsibilities on himself.

He then gives her a note from Edith and she doesn't want to read it in front of him because she "half wish[ed] to read it alone and unwatched". I find this interesting that she has to make up an excuse to get away from him here, just to do so! Is it because Margaret doesn't feel comfortable reading letters in front of people in general, or because Henry specifically causes the discomfort? Gaskell doesn't elaborate, but I'll keep an eye out for if she feels comfortable enough to read a letter in front of anyone else in a future chapter, because either could be valid.

Henry begins to look around the room in "his scrutinizing way" and notices how "poor" the place looks, even when the light is hitting it, which should make it looks its best. Then he says this (with a sigh):

"'The living is evidently as small as she said. It seems strange, for the Beresfords belong to a good family.'”

Oh, no! You've just activated a red flag!!! This whole reply is a red flag, but I want to highlight the main problem area (in my opinion) -- the "as she said". What's the problem with this?

To me, this indicates he didn't listen to her when she told him how small her living was the first time around. He assumed she was downplaying it and would come back to find something more like Harley Street. I suppose that was the fashion back then -- to act of more humble means than you were -- but here's the thing: Margaret isn't like that. She says thing as they are and if he knew her as well as he thinks, he would've taken her words at face value. I know that just from three chapters of reading about her!! If he doesn't believe this one thing she says now, how is that going to work later if they foster a relationship (again, we're getting there)? I also just don't like that Henry is pulling a surprised Pikachu face here!!! And while I know good family = wealthy in this time period, still not a great thing to say. Like, hmm her family is poor that's weird :/. He's acting like he didn't get what he wanted for Christmas or something. Definitely not the reaction I would want from a potential partner.

Margaret, meanwhile, is dealing with a problemTM. Namely, her mother. Apparently she gets into moods where everything is an Issue and Henry is considered an Issue -- so, she refuses to see him. This is a dilemma, because Margaret had told Henry that her mamma would LOVE to meet him and will meet with him shortly. I may not know much about etiquette, but I know this is a snub if she refuses to meet with him now. Plus, her dad can't help because he was already in a bad mood (seems like something we'll unravel later) and Mrs. Hale made it worse by commenting *once again* on moving, which caused him to ask her to please stop speaking against the place. So yeah, this isn't going well!

Margaret "listen[s] patiently", but she has to figure things out somehow, so she pulls a problem-solving move. She proposes that after a quick meetup with Henry and her mom (as for it not to look weird), she and Henry can go out sketching, which will mean less interaction for her mother to worry about. Then, even though they only have cold meat for lunch, they can still make that work for the meal, since light food was usually expected at the midday meal (from what I could find -- correct me if I'm wrong) and Henry will expect it that way. That's when Mr. Hale will join them, having had enough time between 10:30 and 2:00 to compose himself.

I love seeing this side of her! We've already seen glimpses, but I think it's the first time we've truly seen her go into what I would call a "problem-solving mode". I would definitely add that to her list of qualities!

"He evidently expected to be asked to spend the day, and accepted the invitation with a glad readiness that made Mrs. Hale wish she could add something to the cold beef. He was pleased with everything; delighted with Margaret’s idea of going out sketching together; would not have Mr. Hale disturbed for the world, with the prospect of so soon meeting him at dinner."

I wonder if it's apparent to everyone involved Henry wants to be asked to stay the whole day, or if it's just Mrs. Hale? It makes sense that he wants to since he said he would be checking up on what Margaret does all day. I don't know much about calling hours or social etiquette in the Victorian era, but from what I could find, he's making a "morning call". Usually a man in this situation should leave after 20 minutes. However, he's family, so I believe this allots for staying a few hours, including dinner (again, correct me if I'm wrong -- I tried to find sources for this, but there wasn't much available for a morning call from family). Does it seem interesting how eager it is how "pleased" he is by everything just after he thought about how poor the family is? Yep! But we don't have time to unpack all of that just yet.

"'Now, please, just stop here for a minute or two,' said Margaret. 'These are the cottages that haunted me so during the rainy fortnight, reproaching me for not having sketched them.' 'Before they tumbled down and were no more seen. Truly, if they are to be sketched—and they are very picturesque—we had better not put it off till next year. But where shall we sit?' 'Oh! You might have come straight from chambers in the Temple, instead of having been two months in the Highlands! Look at this beautiful trunk of a tree, which the woodcutters have left just in the right place for the light. I will put my plaid over it, and it will be a regular forest throne.' 'With your feet in that puddle for a regal footstool! Stay, I will move, and then you can come nearer this way. Who lives in these cottages?'”

I feel like this conversation parallels their awkward interaction from chapter one, though now the shoe is on the other foot. And by "shoe", I mean the whole "shutting down the conversation" thing. To be fair, this is probably Henry joking and being lighthearted, but again -- I'm having trouble reading it that way. She's trying to sketch two cottages that she thinks are pretty, but he's kind of mocking them for how decrepit they look. Fair, I guess, but the fact that she chooses to mock him by saying he's "come staight from chambers in the Temple" (which I believe is a reference to the Temple in Jerusalem and to me, signals she's mocking his loftiness) says she's not entirely happy with this either. Plus, yeah, he just spent time in the Highlands, shouldn't he be used to forest by now? And when she wants to make a "throne" out of a tree stump, he comments on the puddle on the ground. Chivalrous to ask her to get out of the way, but he's not playing along with her game of pretend like he seemed to want her to in chapter 1. I wonder what's up with that? Or maybe I'm reading this all wrong and they're both enjoying this banter -- I don't know, it's really hard for me to tell!! Keep in mind, I'm biased and don't really like Henry, so everything he says annoys me. It's a problem I'll try to work on 😂😂

She goes to talk to one of the men at the cottages, and Henry quickly takes his opportunity to add her to his sketch. Afterwards, she notices and comments on it. He replies:

“'It was irresistible. You can’t know how strong a temptation it was. I hardly dare tell you how much I shall like this sketch.' He was not quite sure whether she heard this latter sentence before she went to the brook to wash her palette. She came back rather flushed, but looking perfectly innocent and unconscious. He was glad of it, for the speech had slipped from him unawares—a rare thing in the case of a man who premeditated his actions so much as Henry Lennox."

I will admit, this is rather cute: him taking the opportunity to sketch her and then saying something without thought! It's a sweet moment and I think I would like the two of them together if they had more moments like this.

When they return back, both Mr. and Mrs. Hale are in much better spirits. Margaret sees her father and while she stresses that he's put aside his worries (they're not taken care of), she can't hide her pride at seeing him because he's always able to impress other people! What a sweetheart, love her for that.

Mr. Hale sees their sketches and when Mr. Hale sees the one Henry drew, Henry comments this:

“'I should say that a likeness you very much wish to take you would always succeed in,' said Mr. Lennox. 'I have great faith in the power of will. I think myself I have succeeded pretty well in yours.'”

I may not read social cues well, but this one I do get: I like you and want to draw you well. However, I know that because I've picked up on it after seeing Henry's inner thoughts. I'm not so surprised she doesn't get it because, as we'll see later in the chapter, she doesn't see him that way. So this compliment -- while nice -- wouldn't mean to her what he's trying to communicate. Why is this important for me to emphasize? Well, listen to what this guy says next:

“"A regular London girl would understand the implied meaning of that speech,' thought Mr. Lennox. 'She would be up to looking through every speech that a young man made her for the arrière-pensée of a compliment. But I don’t believe Margaret,'"

Lol, lmao even. HENRY, buddy, we've been over this -- you should know her better than this by now. I'm not trying to pull a "she's not like other girls" thing, but you started it. She doesn't have the same communication style as the "regular London girl[s]" you're thinking of! If you want to communicate something, you're going to have to be more blunt.

Also, if we continue with my thread of Margaret being neurodivergent-coded (and Henry being neurotypical-coded), this comment is something a lot of NTs often get frustrated by: that NDs don't pick up on the nuances of their interactions. This comment right here really cements this dynamic for me.

To me, it’s understandable she wouldn't pick up on this being flirting because it's subtle to begin with and ND people often have trouble picking up on social cues like this. I do find it interesting how he also expects her to be picking apart his speeches for compliments. Also "arrière-pensée" means "a concealed thought" or "ulterior motive", by the way!

Quick note: the quote is cut off deliberately like that for a reason, he doesn't finish his thought.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your view), he decides to try a different tactic. She has been gathering roses to "adorn her morning gown for dinner" and he takes this opportunity to help her with some she can't reach (relatable!) and puts a couple in his button-hole. While this isn't exactly a declaration of love, I do think this is another sweet moment. This could almost be a better show of affection than words for some.

Dinner is a very nice affair, with everyone talking very agreeably, enough so to make Henry forget his feeling of "disappointment" of Margaret's living being so small. Like she had told him. Ugh.

However, there comes a bit of a hitch when dessert comes around. Mr. Hale becomes fixated on the idea of dessert -- which must be pears from the garden. However, they already have dessert served behind him: biscuits with marmalade. Mrs. Hale worries that this pear idea will make their life seem "impromptu" and dessert "unusual" (which will not shine a good light on their living situation, I imagine).

Henry actually steps up with a solution this time: they should eat pears in the garden in order to give them the full experience. Though Mrs. Hale doesn't quite like this idea (she wants to end dinner the ceremonious way), Mr. Hale doesn't give her time to argue: he simply gets up. This shows me that Mr. Hale is probably still not in the best of moods, and likely put out with her as well for what she said in the morning. Either that, or he's so absorbed by his own worries that he isn't thinking of hers. Eep, not good.

So Mr. Hale, Henry and Margaret go out into the garden to enjoy some pears. While Mr. Hale grabs the ripest pear (to get over his anxieties -- relatable), Henry makes eyes at Margaret 👁️👁️. He then takes her to stroll while Mr. Hale sits on the garden bench. Oh no! What can this mean? Well, for Margaret, she just thinks this is a friendly chat. Hmm....

He immediately starts by idealizing her country life and scorning his "city life" (comparing himself to a Cockney), ending with insinuating he would want to live here as his "reward" for all of his hard lawyer work.

She replies by shutting down the fantasy (lol), that the beauty he sees isn't always there and besides, didn't he mock her village before and call it out of a tale? Once she makes it clear she saw it as disrespectful, he "warmly" states he'll never do it again.

I do like that she's comfortable enough with him to feel able to tell him she felt disrespected by his words: that's a good sign, at least. And while he doesn't exactly apologize, he does back down once he realizes this was genuinely negative to her. Gotta take our wins where we can!

""I could almost wish, Margaret——' he stopped and hesitated. It was so unusual for the fluent lawyer to hesitate that Margaret looked up at him, in a little state of questioning wonder; but in an instant—from what about him she could not tell—she wished herself back with her mother—her father—anywhere away from him, for she was sure he was going to say something to which she should not know what to reply. In another moment the strong pride that was in her came to conquer her sudden agitation, which she hoped he had not perceived. Of course she could answer, and answer the right thing; and it was poor and despicable of her to shrink from hearing any speech, as if she had not power to put an end to it with her high maidenly dignity."

I love this passage for so many reasons. For one thing, it has that relatable feeling one gets when you have that one guy friend who hits you with the "I have to tell you something..." and even when you don't know what they're going to say, you also know what's happening...

But I love that she has that scared moment and then she's like -- wait a minute? This is me -- Margaret Hale -- we're talking about and I will say what I want and it will be right because I make it so. I will not shrink from any speech coming my way and if I have to, will put an end to it with my high 👏 maidenly 👏 dignity 👏 . What an ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THAT!!!!! I aspire to be like her; why wasn't I told what an absolute girl boss of a role model this fictional character was? And I don't just mean like before I read this (I was given some notice), I mean like why isn't she given more love in pop culture just for this passage alone? (I could speculate why, but I don't want to get sad about that lol). If I didn't already love her, this right here would've made me love her. This passage is definitely something I will be remembering when I feel anxious about difficult conversations! Just, WOW, chef's kiss.

Forgive me, it's going to be a lot of passages from here on out, but I really want to analyze the exact wording here.

"'Margaret,' said he, taking her by surprise, and getting sudden possession of her hand, so that she was forced to stand still and listen, despising herself for the fluttering at her heart all the time; 'Margaret, I wish you did not like Helstone so much—did not seem so perfectly calm and happy here. I have been hoping for these three months past to find you regretting London—and London friends, a little—enough to make you listen more kindly' (for she was quietly, but firmly, striving to extricate her hand from his grasp) 'to one who has not much to offer, it is true—nothing but prospects in the future—but who does love you, Margaret, almost in spite of himself. Margaret, have I startled you too much? Speak!' For he saw her lips quivering almost as if she were going to cry."

Okaaaaaay, that escalated VERY quickly -- Margaret didn't even get time to put a stop to it!!! I can't blame her, he's not giving her the chance to speak. So, the fact that he grabs her hand so she's "forced to stand still and listen"? Yikes. Her heart is "fluttering" and she hates herself for it? Also yikes because I doubt it's fluttering from liking him. I could be wrong, but I'm like 99.9% sure her heart is like that out of nerves.

Not to mention his speech: Henry starts off by being upset she likes Helstone and seems happy there -- you know, the place where her parents are??? Her hometown???? The place he just yapped on and on about being the best place ever and seemed like a reward to him? What happened to that? Swift 180 turn to me. Oh, and let's not forget he doesn't like seeing her calm and happy -- uhhhh...ok?

Now I know what he's trying to say here: he doesn't like seeing her happy here in Helstone because he wants her to be so miserable that she'll want to come back to London (and be with him). If she's miserable, it'll show she cares for him. Here's the problems I have with that logic:

Who's to say she doesn't miss her friends and she's just hiding it? Some people are better at hiding their grief than others.

Margaret is a very "live in the present" type of person; it's not that she doesn't miss Harley Street, but tends to just kind of live in the moment. Him not realizing that -- or wanting her to be miserable despite knowing that -- shows that he probably doesn't know her or care for her as much as he says he does a couple of sentences later.

She hasn't lived with her parents for years and spent most of her childhood without them being a large part of her life (I'm assuming from the limited text we have). Why doesn't she have the right to be calm and happy while living with them? It's pretty understandable she would be more happy with them because if anything *they're* the ones she was probably "more miserable" without. I'm sure she was fine at Harley Street, but she really seems to love her parents and her first night at Harley Street as a child seemed difficult: I'm not surprised she's happy at Helstone! This guy has some audacity to be like "aren't you miserable without me though 🥺" when like -- SHE'S VISITING HER PARENTS???!!?!?! It's been three months, calm down dude.

Let's imagine a world where Henry's completely right (a world I'm glad we don't live in, personally) and she's totally miserable because -- oh, Henry's not at Helstone 🥺💔. Even so, when you visit your friends/crush/whatever that you've missed and you haven't seen for a while, do you act miserable and talk constantly about how much you miss them? I mean, I don't! I usually try to keep up appearances if I am sad, but I actually almost always brighten up around the person I'm with because they make my day better. I get excited and in my element; to the outside person, you'd never know I'd be totally upset when they left because that's how happy I am! Of course, I'd say I miss them or whatever, but I wouldn't make a scene like he seems to want her to.

Going off of that, if you truly cared for someone, wouldn't you want them to be happy? Like he tells her he loves her but starts off his whole speech before he gets to that point with "I wish you were less happy and more miserable because that means you'd miss me and give me a chance" and that's...I don't even know what to say to that. I didn't think you could get worse than Mr. Collins or Mr. Darcy's failed proposals, but I think that beats it. In Mr. Collins's case, at least he starts off with compliments (though they're backhanded and he doesn't really mean them, lol) and at least with Mr. Darcy, he starts off with "I love you" and lists the reasons before he starts insulting her family!!! I guess it's a "pick your poison" thing, but seriously, what a way to start off a love confession speech/proposal.

Then -- and this is what really gets me here -- he notices her trying to get him to release her arm: another sign she's not enjoying this. Now, she's doing this in a quiet but firm way, not wanting to make a scene -- but not backing down, either. Instead of doing the decent person thing and letting her hand go, he keeps his grip and tells her to listen more "kindly". He takes this as yet another sign she didn't "miss him enough" and WOW. Um...I don't have much to say to this; I think it speaks for itself. I will say, everytime I read it I'm filled with an immeasurable amount of rage, if that tells you anything.

He also ends his very touching and heartfelt speech (/s) with saying that he loves her "almost in spite of himself". Aaaaand we're back to Mr. Darcy with his whole "yeah your family is below me and an insult to the human race and I actually wish I could stop thinking about you but in spite of all of that I love you whoops". I think he means this in more of a "I'm not a feelings person, so for me to be in love with you is a big deal" (we'll get to that speech of his soon), but it still comes across wrong to me. If you're going to say that, please clarify what you mean!!!

And THEN -- as if that's not bad enough -- he sees her lips quivering as if she's going to cry and after asking if she's startled (not the emotion I'd be asking after, but ok), he commands her to speak. As someone who gets overwhelmed easily, I would actually hate someone doing that to me!

And if we continue the thread of Margaret being ND, what if she's not able to speak because she's too overstimulated from whatever the heck that just was? I know she just hyped herself up -- and that's amazing, don't get me wrong -- but it could very well be difficult for her to communicate using spoken language and the fact that he wants her to speak right now is a bit reminiscent of how NTs will often force NDs to "act neurotypical" in difficult situations (e.g. "make eye contact, speak on this" etc.) and it's heartbreaking to read using this lens.

Even if we don't read it in that vein, who sees someone about to cry and goes "Speak!"? Get a grip, man.

"She made a strong effort to be calm; she would not speak till she had succeeded in mastering her voice, and then she said: 'I was startled. I did not know that you cared for me in that way. I have always thought of you as a friend; and, please, I would rather go on thinking of you so. I don’t like to be spoken to as you have been doing. I cannot answer you as you want me to do, and yet I should feel so sorry if I vexed you.'”

I feel for her here: I’m glad she takes a moment to be calm, but I imagine it must cost a lot of emotional effort to do so. If I were in her shoes, I don’t even know if I could manage it!

Also, her speech itself is a masteclass in kind — but firm — rejection, in my opinion. Notice how she answers his last question first: that yes, she was startled. That is easiest to answer, so she focuses on it. Then, she expounds on it by letting him know she wasn’t aware of his deep feelings, which caused her to be startled.

That’s when the boundary-setting starts! She sets two of them: in order to “keep thinking of him as a friend”, he will need to discontinue his advances and then she states she doesn’t like the way he has been speaking to her — aka, all of the ways he just offended her in that last paragraph? Stop it immediately.

She ends it by affirming that she cannot give him the answers he desires, but does not want to “vex” him. Just to be sure I was reading her meaning correctly, I looked up the meaning of vexed:

“to bring trouble, distress, or agitation to”

So, she’s worried about troubling him. Yes, distress is in there too, but I think it’s interesting she uses that word to describe how he will take her not returning his feelings. Historically, women do have to worry about how men will react to them not returning feelings -- sometimes to an extreme degree -- and it can feel as if it’s more of a case of them being troubled/agitated rather than distressed. I can’t speak for everyone of course, but it sucks that women have to feel so responsible for men’s happiness to the point of saying “sorry for the trouble” if the feelings aren’t returned! (And yes, I know this issue can happen regardless of gender, but I’m focusing on this dynamic since that’s how it appears here.)

So, how does Henry react? Does he reassure her that he isn’t entitled to her feelings? Asks for space to deal with his own emotions, perhaps? Nope!

“‘Margaret,’ said he, looking into her eyes, which met his with their open, straight look, expressive of the utmost good faith and reluctance to give pain, ‘Do you’—he was going to say—‘love any one else?’ But it seemed as if this question would be an insult to the pure serenity of those eyes. ‘Forgive me! I have been too abrupt. I am punished. Only let me hope. Give me the poor comfort of telling me you have never seen any one whom you could——‘ Again a pause. He could not end his sentence. Margaret reproached herself acutely as the cause of his distress.’”

It’s interesting to me that Henry decides not to ask if she loves anyone else because he doesn’t want to insult “pure serenity” of her eyes. Some may call this nice, I call this asking for a punch in the face. It rides a bit too close to the “purity culture” line for me and I don’t like it. It seems as if Henry thinks she has too much good faith to ever be “unfaithful” to him by even entertaining the thought of someone else. Perhaps I’m wrong, but this is how it reads to me.

Then he asks for forgiveness and says he’s been too abrupt (ok, good start) but says he’s punished. Punished how? Punished for what? If you mean she’s punishing you for speaking to her a certain way by not returning feelings — just NO. That’s not what’s happening here!!!! She doesn’t return your feelings because she doesn’t like you, just accept it.

That’s when Henry really drops the hammer of “can you give me hope and return my feelings one day 🥺” which — oh, boy. On one hand, I can feel for him here, but it’s strange to me that he also wants her to promise that she’s never seen anyone that has caught her fancy. It’s a very “if I can’t have you, no one can” mentality. It even causes Margaret to get mad at herself for “causing” him to be so upset — which, again, he is not entitled to her feelings and she is not responsible for his happiness.

“‘Ah! if you had but never got this fancy into your head! It was such a pleasure to think of you as a friend.’

‘But I may hope, may I not, Margaret, that some time you will think of me as a lover? Not yet, I see—there is no hurry—but some time——‘

She was silent for a minute or two, trying to discover the truth as it was in her own heart, before replying, then she said:

‘I have never thought of—you, but as a friend. I like to think of you so; but I am sure I could never think of you as anything else. Pray let us both forget that all this” (“disagreeable,” she was going to say, but stopped short) ‘conversation has taken place.’”

Ok, so I’m going to take Henry’s side for just a second on this — hear me out. I think it’s a little mean for her to call his feelings just a “fancy” as if he thought of it one day and, on a lark, decided to confess his feelings. I don’t think that’s fair of her to say to him. You can’t help your feelings and it’s not entirely fair of her to expect him to keep it bottled up inside. While his confession speech has been pretty abysmal (sorry it’s true), I don’t blame him for having those feelings, just the way they’re expressed.

On the other hand, I’ve been in Margaret's exact same situation and have almost wanted to say the exact same thing! Like “we had such a good thing going and this came out of nowhere; what’s up with that?” I didn’t though, because I realize that’s kind of invalidating to hear. I also think that’s her being blunt and not filtering her thoughts, which is understandable given the heightened emotions (and even more so, if we read it in the lens of her being ND).

Henry insists on the point of her being able to love him romantically sometime in the future, to which she has to think about. I’m glad she actually takes the time to examine her own feelings before answering. She already knows the answer, but it’s good to be sure and honestly give it some thought.

That’s when she drops a hammer of her own: she has only thought of him as a friend, does so now, and is certain she can only do so in the future. She also wants to set this conversation behind them — almost calling it disagreeable in the process. She stops herself short, but I believe she makes a face or something in her demeanor registers it as such, because Henry picks up on it. Again, she’s being blunt, but this time she’s able to catch herself and spare his feelings a little.

“He paused before he replied. Then, in his habitual coldness of tone, he answered:

‘Of course, as your feelings are so decided, and as this conversation has been so evidently unpleasant to you, it had better not be remembered. That is all very fine in theory, that plan of forgetting whatever is painful, but it will be somewhat difficult for me, at least, to carry it into execution.’”

It’s telling that he becomes cold once he realizes she’s serious about staying friends forever. It’s sad that this 180 degree turn from Henry is still so relatable in today’s age! He does agree to her wishes, albeit reluctantly due to it being difficult for him. This I can understand; once you confess your feelings for someone and are subsequently rejected, it's a bit hard to just "forget" the entire conversation and go back to normal. Unfortunately, that's the consequence you have to face if you're going to confess to your friend like that; I think he was just so confident she'd return his feelings, he assumed this wouldn't happen.

“'You are vexed,' said she, sadly; “yet how can I help it?' She looked so truly grieved as she said this, that he struggled for a moment with his real disappointment, and then answered more cheerfully, but still with a little hardness in his tone: 'You should make allowances for the mortification, not only of a lover, Margaret, but of a man not given to romance in general—prudent, worldly, as some people call me—who has been carried out of his usual habits by the force of a passion—well, we will say no more of that; but in the one outlet which he has formed for the deeper and better feelings of his nature, he meets with rejection and repulse. I shall have to console myself with scorning my own folly. A struggling barrister to think of matrimony!'”

Her grief does cause him to realize that he needs to stop making her feel bad about this -- or, at least, broadcast a facade of good cheer -- if they're going to have any hope of keeping the friendship. After all, they're still in Helstone's garden with Margaret's dad not too far off!!!

However, he's not able to cover up his "disappointment" entirely and it shows as "hardness in his tone". He doesn't apologize for giving her grief, but instead asks her to make "allowances" for him. I don't like this for a lot of reasons (why does she have to make allowances for you when you don't seem to give the same respect back?), but what's even worse is that he says one of those allowances should be "for the mortification...of a lover..." UM??? If I’m reading this right, he wants her to allow for him feeling like he was her lover and now having to deal with her rejection of romance. Henry, let me break it down for you: you were never her lover -- ever. If you felt like her lover, that is your issue, not hers, to deal with. The fact that you're admitting that aloud is appalling and the fact you want her to allow for that problem is even worse. It’s almost like he kept up a pretense of friendship and all the while imagining they were lovers. That’s so weird!!! And again, remains relatable (unfortunately).

The other allowance, which I mentioned earlier, is that he’s not a big “feelings” person and since he got carried away by his passions, she should understand why he feels crushed that the one time he’s swept off his feet by romance, the feelings are not returned. I hate to tell you, Henry, but just because you’re more “worldly” than the rest of us doesn’t mean you’re going to get a girlfriend faster: just a pro tip!

Both of these allowances are quite silly, in my opinion. Yeah, so you have a crush for the first time and you thought of her as your girlfriend and the feelings weren’t mutual. What is she supposed to do, give you a cookie? I’m being facetious, of course, I know what he’s actually hoping is for her to change her mind and be like “I had no idea I was your first crush 🥺 wow, since I’m so special to you, of course I’ll court you!!! 😍❤️” which — ugh. I want to say he doesn’t understand how women work, but I’m hard-pressed to see how this would work on anyone!! Maybe in his head it would work on one of those “regular London girls” (which I’m beginning to think is just a made up notion in his head of women anyway), but I’ve said that Margaret is not one of those women (if they do exist) and never will be. The fact that he thinks he can make her be one or she will become one in time is concerning: what would he be like if they did court? Would she be expected to change for him? Or even if he does like her as is, would she be expected to “act differently” in front of his friends and other relatives? Again, reading this in a NT/ND lens really adds another layer of meaning to how this would affect Margaret’s mental health in the long term.

He ends this by saying he’ll have to “console himself by scorning his own folly” and scoffing at the idea of a struggling man in his job thinking of marriage. First of all, she has literally said nothing about your profession — you brought that up briefly before in your confession (I didn’t mention it because I didn’t have anything to say on it) — but she never said “I’m not going to court you because you’re a lawyer struggling to make ends meet”. Of course, you’re going to think that because it’s easier to think of her as shallow (only after men for their current money) and the “problem” as something you can fix (he can fix a money issue, can’t fix her thoughts of him being a friend), but really: how in denial can you be?

Secondly, this is the first time he’s brought up marriage. Of course, in the Victorian age that’s where courtships were supposed to lead, but still. It’s interesting that he waited until now to drop that last bit in; it almost seems like a last-ditch lament to be like “woe is me! How could I think anyone would ever marry me 🥺💔” which would pull at the heartstrings. Of course, I’m likely reading too much into this because I’m reading it in the tone of him doing anything to try to get her to court/marry him, even using manipulation and guilt tactics to do so. Is it likely he’s just upset and saying whatever comes to mind? Sure. But some people will do anything to get their way and so far he hasn’t shown himself to be very graceful in dealing with rejection.

“Margaret could not answer this. The whole tone of it annoyed her. It seemed to touch on and call out all the points of difference which had often repelled her in him; while yet he was the pleasantest man, the most sympathising friend, the person of all others who understood her best in Harley Street. She felt a tinge of contempt mingle itself with her pain at having refused him. Her beautiful lip curled in a slight disdain.”

I suppose I’m not the only one getting bad vibes from this last speech. Margaret sees the worst parts of him — the little things that had always bothered her about him — and while she still feels bad about hurting him, she can’t help but visibly show “disdain” for the way he’s talking to her now.

Suddenly, they come upon Mr. Hale and Margaret feels as if she's had an out-of-body experience, comparing it to an Eastern tale of a king who went through an experience of a lifetime just by dipping his head in a magical basin of water. In other words, she is not the same as she was when she last saw her father!

Of course, due to the amount of emotions with everything that has just taken place, she is quite unable to speak and lets Henry and her father do most of the talking. Henry notices her quiet and morose look and:

“"I am not so indifferent to her as she believes,' thought he to himself. 'I do not give up hope."”

Oh...oh no. Henry, literally just accept the no. She told you no -- JUST ACCEPT THE -- ok, I need to calm down. This man is fictional. The problem is there are men -- nay, people -- who think like this. Who will hear a "no" and then see the person's face and have such a cognitive dissonance IN THEIR BRAIN that they're like "nah, they actually totally want me, THEY just can't see the truth yet." As if they know better.

It's really hilarious Henry thinks he knows Margaret's thoughts and feelings better than *she* does considering he doesn't even know how to talk to her without her shutting him down because he accidentally disrespected her small town (rhyme not intended but a pleasant surprise). How does he think a relationship with a foundation like that? I realize they are good friends and get along in other ways, but it is sooooo telling to me that the *second* he flirts, she either becomes uncomfortable or straight up doesn't get it (or pretends not to, depending on how you read it). How could they be married like that??

So yeah, unfortunately, Margaret is not even allowed to look sad without Henry jumping on the chance that she'll want him someday. I'm almost 100% sure this would've happened regardless of the facial expression she had. Happy (from trying to keep up a cheerful facade)? "Oh, she's actually super happy I confessed my feelings and will love me soon, just watch." Mad? "She's actually mad at herself for refusing me." Confused? "She doesn't know what she wants, she'll choose me eventually." That's just the kind of person we're dealing with here.

"Before a quarter of an hour was over, he had fallen into a way of conversing with quiet sarcasm; speaking of life in London and life in the country, as if he were conscious of his second mocking self, and afraid of his own satire."

Ok, so this passage is really hard to decipher for me and I might need some help figuring ot out! From what I'm able to gather, he's mainly mocking both the country and London, but maybe in also a self-depricating way as well (this is the main part I'm stuck on)? What I do understand is why he's doing this; Henry is a man who's default is to mock and be sarcastic. It's his coping mechanism for when things get too "real". We haven't seen him be as such yet because he hasn't needed to be around Margaret. However, now that he's been thrown off by her rejection, his way of dealing with it is to slip back into empty sarcasm.

Mr. Hale notices this change and is quite put off by it, even being relieved when he has to leave. He notes the change from the "lighter, clever, more worldly man" he saw earlier and at the wedding breakfast. It's interesting how a lot of people tend to use sarcasm to seem more clever and worldy, but Gaskell sees through this and contrasts them as opposites in this chapter! What a callout! She's so real for that.

At the last moment, Henry Lennox’s real self broke through the crust. “Margaret, don’t despise me; I have a heart, notwithstanding all this good-for-nothing way of talking. As a proof of it, I believe I love you more than ever—if I do not hate you—for the disdain with which you have listened to me during this last half-hour. Good-bye, Margaret—Margaret!”

First of all, describing the weird sarcasm thing he was doing as a "crust" is funny and interesting to me -- I didn't know that could mean "harsh" or "surly": the more you know! Secondly, love that he calls out his own coping mechanism while still having done it -- progress, I guess? And third -- best of all -- Henry, my guy, my dude, why on earth would you tell her you love her while also saying you might hate her because she hasn't been happy with you for the past 30 minutes???? I am truly baffled. Has this man ever wooed a woman in his life? For the sake of the female population, I truly hope not because if THIS is how he does it -- YIKES!!!! Luckily, he probably hasn't considering his whole "i'M a lAwYeR wHo dOeSnT hAvE bIg rOmAnCe fEeLiNgS" speech.

And that's the way the chapter ends, so I'll end with a couple of points I want to make clear.

I know I've been super hard on Henry and -- to be fair -- I think he's deserved some of it. But I don't think he's a bad person. So far, Gaskell has written all of her characters with a complexity and depth that shows you're supposed to root for these characters (more or less), while also understanding their flaws. There were times I pointed out when Margaret wasn't at her best either; while she isn't entitled to return Henry's feelings, she was sort of trivializing them and I wouldn't like that either. I think the problem with Henry is that he's used to getting what he wants and when he doesn't get it, he gets upset and lashes out the way he did with Margaret. I do honestly think he needs to work on himself and not think of romance right now because it sounds like he has deeper problems going on; if Margaret's rejection causes him to act like this, it's not just her rejection that's bothering him. I noticed that he talked about how he's currently struggling in his job and I think that can also account for him getting upset -- perhaps he had hoped for this to be a "good thing" to focus on instead of his work that isn't going well. I'm glad Margaret didn't return his feelings in that case because having one person the sole source of your happiness is never healthy and running away from your problems won't fix them! So yes, while I'm hard on him I do still think he has good moments and can be better: we're just seeing him at his worst. Still, that doesn't excuse his behavior, just explains it.

I also want to clarify for those who think I'm being too harsh on Henry and am doing so because I "don't understand what it's like to be rejected romantically". As a quick personal aside: I've been on his side of a romantic confession and was also rejected by someone who was my friend. And it hurt -- badly. Especially because there were many "signs" I read too much into as romantic (flirting, holding hands, etc.) so said rejection was not what I saw coming, much like Henry. However, when I realized that this person only saw me as a friend and wanted to keep it that way, I immediately told them "ok, I understand" and then took some time to myself to sort through my feelings. These were mainly embarrasment, shame, sorrow, and anger -- not at the person, but at myself for potentially ruining the friendship over this.

My main problem with Henry is that he reacts to Margaret's rejection with disappointment, anger, frustration, and hurt. These don't seem like the kind of emotions that come with an unselfish love, I hate to say it. I know there is likely more feelings bubbling beneath the surface, but if he's going to react that way and realizes he's hurting her in the process (which he does), he should ask for space while he sorts himself out. I get that wasn't "the thing" back then so I guess it's a bit harder for me to say "oh, Henry should've just left!" when no, he can't just abruptly leave like that and "oh, Henry should just work on his mental health" when that was very much not talked of. I'm just trying to think of ways he could've better handled this situation; he can't help his feelings, but he can help how he acts on those feelings. And it's not fair to Margaret to continually pressure her into a relationship she so obviously does not want. Additionally, the way he makes his confession/proposal frustrates me too because he mainly makes it about himself and his feelings. He wishes she wasn't happy at Helstone, he loves her, he's not a romantic person so it's a big deal for him. I mean, he doesn't even talk about her good qualities or what he likes about her: even Mr. "and what excellent boiled potatoes" Collins did that!!!!!

As a final note, if you're reading Dracula Daily at the same time as North and South Weekly, you may have noticed a few parallels between this failed proposal and Jack Seward's failed proposal. I want to dive into them and why I respect Seward's more than Lennox's, but I don't want to do it here because this post might be my longest to date and I'd rather make it a separate post anyway!

So yeah, another great chapter, excited to see what happens next week!

[katarasmomsnecklace]

Someone was talking shit bout Katara again and I'm about to kill people

Warning LONG post sorry

EVERYONE always brings up the "then you didn't love her like I did" scene and you know what in Kataras angry vindicated righteous fury addled mind, that's how she feels

She heard Sokka say he can't remember their mom, that he can only see his YOUNGER sister when he tries to picture her

Katara is fucking fuming because she finally has a chance to hunt down the man that killed their mom and Sokka is trying to stop her and I'm sorry but Sokka CANT understand Kataras pain

While not outright stated, we know Katara knows why her mom died, she's known the whole time.

Her mom died in her place, that is something Sokka will never have to live with

Losing his mother obviously hurt him, duh I'm not going to devalue his trauma, but Sokkas trauma that gets explored in the show is not losing his mom, but his dad.

Another thing I hate is when people say, well Sokkas older so he spent more time with their mom, like way to fuck up your argument because you are saying their love of their mother can be objectively measured.

Also you're trying to tell me in a society dependent on gender roles Katara wasn't spending more time with their mother than Sokka yeah right.

Yall say she needed to apologize (which I completely agree with because at the end of the day it is an awful thing to say to your brother who while not impacted the same way was just as affected as you) but no one is saying Sokka needs apologize for making fun of Kataras waterbending (do yall not understand why she's so passionate about bending her mom DIED because Katara was a bender, Katara thinks she needs to prove that her mother's death wasn't in vain HER AND SOKKA ARE PARALLES Kataras trying to prove herself to their mom and Sokka their dad)

They are CHILDREN they deserve to talk about what they loved doing with their mom and how losing her hurt them differently.

Because they're kids, they can't grasp that grief is different for everyone. They were both so fucked up by her death but in almost opposite ways. Sokka represed that shit so hard it's insane please baby get therapy and Katara lives her life trying to ensure NO ONE forgets their mother's sacrifice.

Sokka forces himself to forget

Katara forces herself to remember

I wish Katara apologized because she was objectively wrong, Sokka did love their mom but he grieves differently. And once Katara returns she understands where Sokkas coming from. She was just angry he wasn't angry because she's a child and wanted to know her emotions and anger were valid but instead felt vilified by the person who was meant to understand.

I wanted to see Katara apologize to, because her and Sokka deserve to hug and cry and scream about how unfair the world is, they deserve to have a mother figure in each other (which they do, they basically raised each other) but I hate how yall say she's unforgivable for this.

Unforgivable really? Yall are too harsh on Katara, it was fucked up, like insanely fucked up but unforgivable?

I guess the point of this post was me asking yall to give Katara some slack especially yall Sokka stans cuz if you hate Katara for this I feel like you don't really get Sokka either.

Obviously they love each other and they love their mom they just have never had the incredibly difficult conversation about how her death still affects them.

Their relationship is everything to me, I just want Sokka and Katara to be happy 😭