#i guess the good thing is that because i don't really care it isn't That scary

[tarraxahum]

This was gonna be a reply to a reply but I thought maybe I should just make my own post. Yes this is about Vi again.

It's no secret that "Vi should've fought for Zaun" and the expectation of her being Vander's prodigy and feeling like the plot dropped the ball on her in that regard and the betrayal at the fact that she's living comfortably in Piltover now are. Frequent sentiments in the fandom. Which I get, but also I feel that this line of expectations is. Diverging from who Vi actually is by the end and what she was realistically capable of.

Vi in season 2 is basically running on fumes and because she has no other options. It is a well known thing in irl activist spaces that to participate in any kind of fight for justice you need to take care of yourself, otherwise you won't have the energy to be any kind of useful to your community. Ekko also says this - "It's not enough to give people what they need to survive, you have to give them what they need to live". Vi has been surviving and not living in any shape or form for years, she's exhausted and broken in places. That's no mental state to fight for Zaun or make any kinda change. I think it's extremely realistic and human and hardly a flaw of writing or the character if by the end the only thing she was able to do was collapse into the safety and peace she was offered for the first time in forever (aka Caitlyn). It's clear that in her last scene she's still recovering mentally - Cait seems to be excited to have any sign of life (singing) from her at all, and the "Are you still in this fight?" question is very loaded. (But it's indicated that Vi is very much still in the fight, so? It's really anyone's guess what she'll do once she's healed and remembers how to live. And don't bring up LoL's Vi brutality thing, it's clear they're different characters).

I think in wanting to see Vi stand up for Zaun or be Vander's prodigy we often deny her the flaw of being a breakable human and forget just how much she's held together by duct tape. Just because she was full of this 'fuck Piltover' fire as a kid doesn't mean she is still capable of matching that energy. Sometimes after lots of trauma humans grow up into tired adults who just want to sit down and feel safe regardless of where it happens and how questionable it might look (re: living in Piltover). Not to mention, that even as a child Vi's main reason for fuming at the Topside was wanting safety for her family and herself. Well, now she's all out of family, she's estranged from the community of Zaun thanks to being in prison for 7 years and Silco changing the place so much, and the only person who's offering her safety and not more fighting (which she's exhausted and thoroughly burnt out from!) is Caitlyn, so. How is where she ended up any kind of surprising or a failure of her writing/character?

Yes, a lot of people wanted a revolutionary, no, Vi isn't one. Dare I say, never really was one. At her lowest, when she's got no one left to protect, she's not trying to fill in that void by taking on protecting Zaun and becoming a vigilante or something, no, she spirals. That is not something on her radar, that's not something she's visibly cut out to do, she cares so so much but on a smaller scale. Even the whole shimmer factory debacle was less about Zaun and more about her desire to hurt Silco personally for what he'd done to her family. If Jinx agreed to run away with her back at the tea party Vi would ditch the entirety of Zaun (potentially leaving it to Silco forever since he's still alive at that point) in a heartbeat to keep her sister and save Cait in one move. She puts on an enforcer uniform BECAUSE she cares for Jinx (through convincing herself that at the very least she should take her out of her misery herself rather than leaving it to people who don't care, yes) and Cait both.

Perhaps a hot take, but not becoming a leader despite being good at taking hits to the head and caring about people in general and being a daughter of one does not make Vi a badly written character or a bad person. It just makes her a person. And a character whose arc culminated in choosing herself. And choosing yourself sometimes means leaving the fight to others (perhaps temporarily, considering the final dialogue). And that's okay.

Arcane is tragedy about flawed people, not a feel-good story about a successful revolution and rich people paying for their crap, and it was never going to be. Ergo one of our main character isn't an upcoming hero in shining armor who was allegedly robbed of her potential. She's just a broken young woman who barely knows how to keep her own little life together and her biggest victory by the end is allowing herself to take a breath and live for once. Yes, while her home down there is still in shambles. Yes, that sounds selfish. For some people a bit of selfishness is the greatest thing they can ever learn for themselves.

[whatremained]

actually keep writing reactions i love reading them

and sorry for responding again. i really like this musical and ... just like talking about it when i can.

with you saying that me reading connor as autistic is a real take, i giggle. i mean i believe it, but i haven't heard many other people read him that way, and it's nice to see someone who agrees. and i do also argue a lot the cast is neurodivergent, and i would say... the main three characters we NEED to be focusing on and thinking about throughout the story (evan, zoe, connor), are all autistic.

though the authors grossly say that evan isn't autistic because "he wants friends…" obviously they don't know what autism is. most autistic people WANT friends, just like how most PEOPLE want friends. we're no different. evan… quite literally is read as autistic, not only to neurotypical people, but also neurodivergent people. (so much so that when i attended the show with my brother who had never seen it before, he turned to me after act one and directly asked if evan was autistic. he is neurodivergent, and it wasn’t an insult by the way he worded it and the way he expressed it. 😭) it REALLY sucks that the writers of the show said shit like that, but it doesn’t change how most of the audience perceives evan.

zoe just reads as autistic to me because of her very set mind and how she views the world. also... zoe can come off as bratty at times! and how she acts can be mistaken for genuine brattiness when she's just... trying to make a point, or say something. ex. her sounding pissed when evan was in connor's room, asking him why he was there. she wasn't hurt or anything, she just wanted to know. but it comes off as very sharp and harsh. she definitely does not understand tone and… i also don’t so yk! zoe's potential autistic-coded being so ignored messes me up. "women getting ignored in the mental health field" quota filled with this musical/book's fandom i guess. good lord, zoe is genuinely such an interesting character, and it pains me that she’s just… ignored all the time. it’s the fact that she’s so obviously a main character. i mean in the playbill, at least the one i have… the way the actors are listed, assumably, is by their status as characters, as in… main lead, and leads. and then supporting cast (as well as understudies & such).

(photo evidence of the listed cast lol)

(touring cast of this year. michael fabisch plays evan, hatty ryan king plays zoe, bre cade plays heidi, caitlin sams plays cynthia, alex pharo plays connor, jeff banks plays larry, gabriel vernon nunag plays jared, makena jackson plays alana… the rest are understudies & the voices we hear when social media posts appear. this… order objectively makes sense for character appearances imo. zoe is… in a bunch of the story and is a very important character. just rambling here though.)

zoe is a character that has a huge story in the show and… she’s ignored because??? idk? she’s a woman? and people in this fandom don’t care about women it seems!

i could go on for HOURS about connor because his symptoms really replicate mine, and it's VERY easy for me to point out, but i'll give my small little rant. from the very start, described by evan in the book, he knew connor from previous classes as children. obviously they were never close, but he saw him in grade school. he describes just knowing connor as basically the kid who… cried a lot. now crying a ton isn’t a neurotypical vs neurodivergent thing. it happens to both kinds of people. but the reason for crying may lead to the realization of “oh! this character might be autistic!”. for connor, as a younger child, we see the cause in one story for why connor may have cried a lot in school. this is the infamous “mrs g” story mentioned in the musical. he cried and got angry because he wasn’t line leader that day, mostly because of the fact he WAS supposed to be line leader that day, and the fact he wasn’t subverted his expectations. for a lot of autistic people, and for me, when things don’t go routinely, they tend to get upset. it’s smart to assume the crying would come from that, feeling overwhelmed day after day.

honest to god; i was going to type a lot more after this but i have about no energy to. my shortest explanation is read the book, connor’s parts. explains a LOT on why i think he’s autistic. i could probably tell you more later but i don’t want this ramble to sit in my drafts for five weeks so.

i also see how people could argue that alana & jared are autistic, but there’s the fact that we don’t really get to hear from them as characters all that much, so we can’t full determine it from there.

but alana i will go out and say, yes, she probably has autism. like her character really reads as autistic person trying their hardest to mask but kind of just… failing somewhat?

jared…? idk. he’s… i could care less man. i don’t want to analyze that asshole more than i have to. i can see the point people try and make with jared, and i can go “sure! yeah!” but. i don’t want to talk about him. he’s the bane of my existence i swear.

anyways yeah that was my little autism ramble i. am so sick and tired of typing rn 🙏

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[egginfroggin]

I usually try not to get too negative on my blog, but I have to say that one thing that I'm worried about with AI art is the possible accusations that could be placed on people with certain artstyles (surrealism, hyperrealism, etc.) that are more prone to the "uncanny valley" effect, or even just artists who are in that midway point where most of a piece looks great but there's a few things that are anatomically questionable.

I think it's fine for people to have suspicions, but I'm worried that people will come to expect things such as progress videos or shots as a given, and that this will intimidate young or new artists, making them feel incredibly pressured to provide things that they shouldn't have to. And, speaking from experience, pressure does not do good things to the creative mind.

I'm worried that people will start seeing inconsistencies or awkward anatomy and immediately react with accusations of AI. It's happening on other platforms, and probably also on Tumblr, and as much as I dislike AI, I think that people need to learn to slow down and really look at something before making that accusation.

What good will stamping out AI with vigor do if innocent artists get caught in the crossfire and stop creating out of fear? What good will it do if the next generation of artists is too scared to share and inspire each other?

Genuinely, I would personally rather deal with AI images existing while still being able to freely share my actual works than I would deal with tiptoeing around very real people who would dismiss my hours of work (and musculoskeletal pain) as worthless and not real. Let artists still be free for goodness' sake.

I can be more thoroughly worded later if anyone asks, and this will probably be sorely misinterpreted, but I just need to get this out and I'm tired.

TLDR: It's fine to be against AI-generated images, but please check yourself and be careful who you accuse of using such technology before you get someone innocent caught up in it. AI-generated art isn't great, and neither is putting down someone's hard work as fake.

[anonyanonymouse]

🙈

[wolpatinga]

[eastofedean]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[tardis--dreams]

It's kind of a given but can i just say that i detest job interviews. I have one tomorrow and it's ruining my whole day because i have no interest in the job and yet have to pretend like i give a fuck

[not-poignant]

if ur still doing the writing meme (i've liked all ur answers even the 'unpopular' ones a haikyuu fic i loved once got rewritten and i'm still sad i never saved the first one because i didn't realize the author didn't like it and i wish i'd commented more or sth to make them know we loved the og so much) -> 13 and 34 plz

Ahh I'm sorry you went through that anon re: the Haikyuu! fic. Please don't guilt-trip yourself for it. Authors have lots of reasons for rewriting a fic, or deleting a fic, and sometimes even when it's had thousands of kudos they will still do it.

It sounds like you commented in general (since you say 'commented more' instead of just commented) which is like... really awesome. Who knows, maybe the author thought they were giving you the better version! You can always leave a comment and ask if they still have the original chapters on file somewhere if that author's still active, and if they'd be willing to share them with you somehow.

Now to the meme:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I was going to answer this with 'easy, everything I don't write' lmao because I just avoid the stuff I find hardest. But that's kind of...not the point. So in all seriousness:

Big ensemble scenes with big ensemble casts. I don't know why I insist on writing these a fair bit, but anything that has more than two characters in a scene is a struggle. More than four is like 'OH GOD.' It's just a lot of work in a different kind of way.

Happy endings. It's not that they're difficult to write, exactly, it's that I'm often...kind of sad to be letting go of the story and I feel like I've already let it go at the point that I'm writing the happy ending. Like, I am not happiest when I'm writing the happy ending, though I want it to feel really really good for readers. I love happy endings, but I also get really noticeable lag and slow down a bit towards the end of stories, because I have less motivation. An ending means letting go of that version of the world, or that installment, and my brain is like 'dun wanna.'

Beginnings/openings. I don't really enjoy the first few pages of a first chapter and I know I'm not often good at beginnings which further preys on my 'everyone is going to hate this story' insecurity I have at the beginning of a new thing.

Action scenes used to be in this but they're not as much anymore. But I do really struggle with sex scenes too! And I think that's a reason I don't write them as much as I used to. It's not a bad thing, one of the reasons they're harder is because I want them to be good and I just don't want to do carbon copies of previous sex scenes and I've now written like 200 of them.

As for things I find easy, hmm. I'm going to go with broadscale characterisation and dialogue. I also think generating character and place names is really easy, and inventing species to populate a new world is easy. I also think describing nature is easy for me, though I sometimes feel silly or like...I'm boring people when I describe it, so I try not to do it toooo much.

I'm bad at writing description but hilariously I don't find it difficult. x.x Maybe that's why I'm bad at it.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

*takes a breath*

Since you don't mind unpopular opinions I hope you don't mind this one: I fucking don't rate the Oxford Comma and try to avoid using it wherever possible. It's really easy to avoid some of the errors an Oxford Comma can prevent through context, and frankly, the Oxford Comma can create its own issues which can be prevented through not using it. You can avoid or introduce ambiguity whether you do or don't use it, basically, one solves some problems and introduces others, the other solves some problems and introduces others.

In that sense, it's understandable why it's not mandated in many style guides. It is preferable in US English, but damn, I'm not from the USA. And the Oxford Style Guide recommends it but the Oxford Style Manual recommends against it. Australian Style Guides, including the one issued by the government, generally oppose its use, but it's not mandated, so it's really at the author's discretion.

I've tried using it. Like, I've sat down and thought 'right I'm going to give this a good shot' and I just really don't like it. So you'll see a handful here and there in my writing where I thought 'okay let's try it' and then just been like nahhhh.

I have no problems with other people using it, and those people can have all the extra commas I'm not using because damn, they'll need them. :D

--

From the Weird Questions for Writers meme!

[running-in-the-dark]

today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)

I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).

first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.

when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!

[doggytail-duck]

Watched the MLB movie finally! While I had a few Notes, all in all I enjoyed it, the animation was so pretty and I was really impressed how they condensed so much stuff into one movie

[direscrowley]

been caught in one of those terrible "not good enough" spirals about my writing lately

[scienceismygirlfriend]

Reading asks:

2. Flops! Or 9. Compels me tho

2. flops! i consider this one a flop because i really wanted to like it BUT. i did not enjoy Things In Jars. it had a great premise, and i love a ghost sidekick as much as the next guy, but it just did not come together for me. and the most frustrating this is that the things i didn't enjoy about it don't seem to be the things that bothered anyone else who didn't like the book so i didn't even get the cathartic release of reading the two star reviews of the book!!

9. compels me tho: this is maybe a goofy answer but i read the first dinotopia children's novel (Windchaser) while on a road trip and it's pretty simple and predictable but DINOSAURS THOUGH. i don't know why i never read this as a child (i devoured A Land Apart from Time) but i know i would have been soooo annoying about it if i had. it's cute!

[ellstersmash]

things i learned today:

solas could've avoided this whole mess and probably had enough free time to take lavellan on a nice little date if he just took up archdemon hunting instead of all the rituals and the other dastardly deeds

lucanis won't romance rook if they go to minrathous but will romance neve because despite saying he's cool, he's not cool

everyone's nice and no one has slaves or anything because *checks forearm* the blight

all your companions get along with you and each other because also the blight

even though he's like, really manipulative and uses people all the time, solas accumulated but then gave up an entire army's worth of spies and agents because he decided he wasn't ready for a management position

red lyrium isn't really around because—and you are not gonna believe this—the blight

solas just lies. all the time, outright, to everyone. so I guess he was actually only super careful to not ever actively lie in Inquisition as like a fun little challenge to himself

tying the veil to his life force (you know, the guy who couldn't even take down an archdemon on his own and actually just got his ass beat so is not in great shape in the best ending) fully repaired the veil! \o/ don't ask how you wouldn't understand it it's not a big—

everyone near minrathous is cured of the blight! but @ everyone else you may be entitled to compensation 🥀

the only ritual solas has ever gotten or will ever get right is cleansing the idol into the ritual dagger. good thing too bc it was way more dangerous than this one. other than that, wrong about everything ever

elven magic is like not that big a deal, dude

the griffons are, unfortunately, long-term fucked

the elves don't see the crossroads differently anymore because uh.. because....... war

spite does not get involved in rookanis sexytimes. so perhaps him spreading his wings was actually just in preparation to leave bc ew they're kissing gross

NO ONE cares about the goddamn spirits

[rubys-domain]

bruh...

i still need 250 more reputation exp to unlock the bounties. and the second act alone took over an hour to finish. this is gonna take forever...

[oblique-lane]

Spy tf2 and his identity

Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)

What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.

At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?

What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?

For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?

While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?

Let's start from the beginning.

Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?

Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.

The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.

Well, probably because he really does not.

Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.

At least, not those who were born into wealth.

Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.

(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)

Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.

If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.

So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.

Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?

Oh yeah. The Great Depression.

See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.

Unavoidably, it leads to crime.

Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.

In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.

And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?

His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.

It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.