#will still excuse their behaviour

[running-in-the-dark]

today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)

I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).

first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.

when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!

[spilycoris]

no, really. you shouldn't have.

[hatsunevitu]

my favorite thing to do in a conversation with kyman haters is hear them go “but it’s bully x victim, that’s problematic!!” and respond with “yeah i agree kyle was a bully but i believe he can really change” and then watch them sit in total confusion

[aurorangen]

Since coming out of the hospital and learning of the spy, Vincent has been more vigilant of his surroundings. He felt uneasy that someone might still be following him...even in another country. After resting he was a bit more alert, so just to be cautious, he asked Jay if he had any hats to wear to hide his face, especially in the busy town centre.

Some paintings in the building caught Renee's attention and she took some photos. One stood out in particular. It had a plane statue and she could see some people in the background. Armed with weapons.

Transcript:

Renee: Jay do you know what these paintings are of? Jay: These are of Chestnut Ridge and the plane one…I dunno. Maybe the next town? Or made up? Renee: Oasis Springs doesn't look like that. I wonder if that's Strangerville.

[nayruwu]

we accept the love we think we deserve or whatever Stephen Chbosky said

[uncanny-tranny]

I promise you can speak about and denounce undesirable behaviour without attributing it to some in-born, immutable, unchanging trait that you must "civilize" away.

In this specific instance that inspired this, you really don't need to attribute bad behaviour that's done by a man with unchanging character traits. This isn't even solely about men, because doing this affects everyone, men included.

"Men needed to be civilized out of behaving this way!" Who are you expecting to be doing the civilizing and why? This is just defending the idea that women are responsible for training up men - the millenia-old idea that a man's failings are actually a woman's fault, not his.

As a man, I am responsible for my actions. You don't need to dehumanize me in order to preserve your misogyny and your need to hate a group of men. Don't get me wrong, this rhetoric absolutely is not good for men to face. It especially targets men who have experiences with marginalized identities. If you're on my page, you know that this is something I deal with personally, have personal stakes in that affect my life daily. I just also think we really need to remember that this issue exists in a context where women and other folks will inevitably be punished as a direct result of these ideas as well.

I need to make that last part emphatically clear: even if this rhetoric (somehow) only hurt men, it would still be wrong. It would still be wrong! I want to - as a man - remind people (especially those who already have decided to dehumanize entire groups of people) that nobody is safe from being exempt from punishment due to this rhetoric.

[askblueandviolet]

Are you two dating?

MASTER POST

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[defenestrationtactics]

Roman and the dog cage thing and then that conversation between Shiv and their mum thats like "well you could’ve had dogs" “no not with ur father, he never saw anything he loved that he didn’t want to kick it just to see if it would still come back" and romans constant need to prove himself to his father above everything else and in the end nearly always backing him and folding whenever he ever did something remotely nice. and then people always gaslighting him saying 'well you wanted it' (like the whole military school + dog cage thing) whatever and making him LITERALLY THINK HE DESERVED EVERYTHING!!

then there's the whole thing with the walmart shirt which is literally just showing how everyone always reduces him to being the 'baby' of the family. when he cried at the funeral and then kendall basically said 'nah he's not fit to be ceo because he's too immature and breaks down and can't handle pressure'. like babes. honey. that was your dads funeral. sorry if your a stone cold bitch with other very glaring mental health issues but it doesn't mean other people can't express their emotions. and then theres everyone making fun of him for being 'sexually stunted'. basically making him the baby of the family and saying he cant sit at the adult table when he's probably - trauma aside - more capable then anyone else in the family. like yeah. hes a bitch who either completely hides his emotions or cannot help but lay everything on the table and he does everything to prove that he's better to his father and that he can sit at the adult table actually. but like, also. y'all make fun of him every time he's the slightest bit vulnerable. how to you expect him to be able to regulate his emotions when you WONT LET HIM HAVE THEM.

anyway point is hes literally just trying to be loved everything he does is to prove himself to his father and all his shitty fucking choices can probably be linked back to that fact. he's kinda just morally fucked up. like who cares if this is good or bad - will my father love me?

[captainshorter]

Oh no im starting to really feel (sorry) for Ming

[amethystina]

Hello ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I hope you’re doing better, both physically and mentally. I know you’ve been through a lot recently, and I truly hope you’re finding moments of peace and comfort in this difficult time.

I wanted to reach out because I usually connect with your thoughts on The Devil Judge, and I’m curious to see if we align on this perspective as well. I've noticed that many in the fandom view Yohan as being kinder and more selfless than he seems, believing he truly cares about people and their struggles. But from my perspective, it feels different. I think Yohan recognizes others' pains, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he empathizes deeply with them or feels much sympathy.

What do you think?

it’s always a pleasure to hear your thoughts.

May the rest of your day be filled with moments of calm and joy.

Hi there 💜

Unfortunately, I'm not doing the greatest but, well, that's sort of the norm right now? It could be worse, in all honesty. Me and my wife have some friends visiting from our university days, though, which is lovely! But that also means I'm going to be even more absent from here this coming week. Just a head's up.

Anyhow! Since I don't really read fics or metas for The Devil Judge I admit that I don't know what the consensus of the fandom is on any given subject. Except, perhaps, what I can glimpse in comments on my fics or in the asks I receive here on Tumblr. This means that whatever opinions I express are usually my own without influence from anyone else, which makes them very subjective, pretty limited, and, perhaps, not as well-rounded as if I had spent time discussing them with someone else. And I just want everyone to remember that whenever I answer one of these asks.

These are my opinions but I'm not going to claim that I'm right or that my thoughts are the only valid ones. They might, in fact, be spectacularly wrong since I never run them by anyone before I express them.

So, with that out of the way: Yo Han is not a kind man.

That's not to say that he's incapable of compassion or empathy, but his ability to relate to other people is, at the very least, severely stunted. I know that some think that he must have an antisocial personality disorder but, personally, I'm not comfortable diagnosing him with anything. I'm just not qualified to make that kind of assessment.

But what I can say is that he's definitely not a very considerate man.

But, as with all things Yo Han, the subject is a little more complex than that — and stems back to his childhood and past trauma.

To make a long story short, I think that Yo Han is emotionally mature and intelligent enough to recognise right from wrong. I also agree with you that he can see when people are in pain and, in some ways, probably relate to them. But what he actually does with that information depends entirely on who the person is and what scale we're talking about.

Because, as we see in the drama, Yo Han doesn't really care what happens to the people outside of his small, chosen circle. He was clearly shaken when Han So Yoon was kidnapped and K died, for example, but the unidentifiable mass of "the Korean people" doesn't interest him as much. Yo Han is incredibly loyal, yes, and capable of a fierce, all-consuming kind of love, but it's reserved for a selected few.

As for everyone else?

Not his problem.

And while that's pretty uncaring — ruthless, even — I think it's in part because of his childhood. He was so isolated that he can't really relate to people, only made worse by the fact that his mind probably doesn't work like most people's do. So even if he deeply loves someone, his empathy is still a bit patchy. He's used to pushing through pain and heartache and doesn't quite seem to understand that other people aren't — or at least not to the extent that he does it. Yo Han is a master at compartmentalising but doesn't understand that he's an outlier in that.

And so his ability to relate to people and understand their pain is severely limited. Because he's not working with the same variables as everyone else. Something that will barely faze him is enough to completely break someone else and despite being so clever, I don't think he understands that.

And it's even worse when you look at it on a wider scale. He's even less sympathetic when it's people he doesn't know personally and, quite frankly, I don't think he wants to care about nameless strangers. Yo Han protects and sympathises with the people closest to him — the ones he can see and touch and feel — but he doesn't waste emotional or mental bandwidth on everyone else. In some ways, he might not be capable of that. Because, again, the isolation he was put through as a child probably left quite a lot of scars and made him unable to connect with people in a healthy way.

He's not like Ga On, who genuinely cares about the fate of the common man and their country as a whole. I think that Yo Han sees the suffering and clearly doesn't mind doing a kind act here and there when he gets the opportunity — like donating the prison warden's money — but I still wouldn't call him a kind or a considerate man. He can be but also chooses not to be more often than not.

It doesn't come instinctively to him the way it does for Ga On.

Again, that's not to say that Yo Han doesn't know how to be kind — of course he does — but I don't think he views it the same way most people do. It's almost as if he thinks that kindness is a finite resource and therefore hesitates to waste it on people he doesn't care about on a personal level.

So no, I don't think he genuinely cares about other people's struggles and pain to the degree most people do. But it's not necessarily because he's evil or anything like that, but rather because he's so guarded. I've touched on it a couple of times in Who Holds the Devil, but I think that Yo Han is very cautious to reveal what he wants or admit when he cares about someone, simply because he's afraid of having it taken away or losing the person in question.

And if he were to care about every suffering citizen in South Korea the way Ga On does? I don't think Yo Han could handle that. I think he's shielding himself from that kind of commitment out of sheer self-preservation because every time he cares about someone, he leaves himself vulnerable for heartbreak. And he's not really equipped to deal with that heartbreak should it happen (again: emotionally stunted and childhood trauma)

In some ways, I think Yo Han is too scared to fully care about other people and, even when he does, he's always bracing himself for what he thinks is the inevitable pain of losing them.

But he does want to connect with people. Which means that he can probably learn to be more considerate of people he doesn't love on a personal level, but, again, I'm not sure if he wants to. At least not during the drama or even shortly after it. I think Yo Han is perfectly fine with being the way he is. He doesn't want to be a hero and has no interest in philanthropy — aside from how it might boost his reputation or, alternatively, punish those he thinks are behaving badly (like the prison warden).

But a couple of years down the line if he and Ga On are a couple? I think that Ga On could wear him down enough that Yo Han regularly donates to good causes and such. But Yo Han would do it more because he wants to indulge Ga On than out of any feeling of responsibility of his own. Because, when it comes down to it, I think Yo Han doesn't have any love and devotion to spare for the people outside his immediate circle. Taking care of them is difficult enough what with his upbringing and struggles to understand relationships.

Just like Yo Han says in the drama: I don't care if humanity falls as long as I have you two.

That's what he cares about most and even if he's capable of kindness and compassion, he saves it for the people he thinks matter. But even then I don't think he can empathise as deeply as most people would. Because he just doesn't understand that not everyone has his ability to compartmentalise and briskly deal with their emotions and trauma. I suspect that he thinks that Ga On is a bit too emotional a lot of the time. And even if Yo Han loves Ga On with every fibre of his being, he also thinks that Ga On's inability to control his emotions is both impractical and annoying — maybe even silly. Because Yo Han just doesn't get it.

He can't put himself in Ga On's shoes or understand that some people are just more emotional and need more frequent outlets for said emotions.

So yeah. I don't think that Yo Han is a particularly compassionate or considerate person, and he struggles to fully understand the people he loves, too. It's easier for him to be kind to them, at least, but he can't really empathise with them, either. But I would argue that it's not really his fault so much as a result of his childhood, all the trauma, and how he is a person. And it doesn't mean he's incapable of love or taking care of people — he's just very selective and, sometimes, he'll stumble because he doesn't understand what the fuck is going on x'D

In short: He's a disaster, your honour.

[luaminesce]

Me, an Autistic, enby lesbian, watching my fellow (mostly white, cishet male) Autie folk defend Chuggaaconroy and dismiss Emily and Masae's accusations as "ableist":

[savethedots]

It’s interesting to have such a different view on things. I thought the sparks he were mentioning was their friendship because he’s described it that way before. They do have great chemistry as friends and I didn’t get the impression from his tone it would be anything more. I hope we’re both right

English isn’t his first language (and it isn’t mine either), so it could be very well a word used that doesn’t quite fit with the intentions he had while saying those things, but he also said:

“So maybe that New Year’s kiss will spark into something romantic, maybe not. I can’t say anything but i will keep you on your toes. You have to watch.”

Where he intentionally mentioned romance. But who knows… With how this season goes i wouldn’t rule out the possibility of it happening, tho (i would’ve during or right after s2).

[silverraes]

yes getting Babe PREGNANT surely is the best solution and won't have any long term consequences whatsover Way whAT THE FUCK

[apostate-in-an-alcove]

Trans men being misogynistic isn't some quirky, lovable trait; they're still being misogynistic pigs and I'm tired of people giving them a free pass to treat women like shit. Being trans doesn't make them an innocent darling incapable of harm for fuck sakes, grow a brain.

[iandarling]

Yes, Debbie is annoying and makes horrific choices but let us not forget how she grew up…

In the Pilot we see a 10 year old Debbie bring her toddler brother to school because someone needs to babysit him and Fiona’s got work.

In season 1 episode 2 Debbie is terrified her father has died and spends her day searching for her missing dad, and once he returns she wants to hear stories of his trip to Canada because she’s still a little kid

In season 1 episode 3 Debbie gains a maternal figure in the senile woman her family steals borrows from a nursing home. She spends a full 24 hours loving her and creating memories she never got to have with either of her grandparents or Monica. She knows this isn’t the real Aunt Ginger but she mourns her loss as if she was real

In season 1 episode 4 Debbie borrows steals a neighbourhood toddler because she was desperate for attention and no one wanted to bake a pie with her. She tells her family she misses aunt ginger and fiona responds “who?”

In season 1 episode 10 Monica returns saying she loves her and misses her, but she’s here to take steal Liam and “start a family of her own”. Fiona moves out of the house, and in the end Monica leaves her yet again

In season 2 episode 3 Debbie witnesses an old man die and is horrified to learn that her loved ones can also die and therefore leave her forever

In season 2 episode 9 Monica returns and Debbie is the only one worried about her dead grandmother laying alone in a hospital freezer

In season 2 episode 11 Debbie’s mother attempts suicide in front of her and her new nephew isn’t even Lips so she lost him too

In season 2 episode 12 Debbie helps break her mother out of hospital and she leaves her yet again shouting “i love you debbie!” as she drives away

In season 3 episode 1 her father has been missing for 140 days and she’s the only one in the family who cares while the others ignore her fear of loosing Frank

In season 3 episode 2 Frank destroyed her history project and her childhood with it. She finally understands who he truly is and she has now lost both parents

[leojurand]

also the fact that even in his calculated rage nicholas tells simon something like "i know you were forced to marry my mother and you were 15 and she was nearly twice your age but i can't excuse you denouncing her or me" :(