#i guess right i mean i am doing statistics stuff

[whirligiga]

put in the tags/explain why if you feel like

personally I love me a good box plot

[twistedwonderlandsimps]

Technomaniac!Yuu

I'm just here to mix-and-match different kinds of Yuus with different kinds of personalities to see what monstrosity I can make. That being said,,, Technomaniac!Yuu brainrot! 

So basically this Yuu belongs in the High Fantasy Yuuniverse on the human side and they’re absolutely obsessed with technology and becomes unhinged when creating stuff. 

Mayhaps their family ran a robot-related business or a machine-creating business and that’s where their obsession started. Maybe Yuu’s obsession further increased due to the fact that they were a human being in a world full of otherworldly creatures.

In a world of high fantasy, there’s bound to be differing opinions and speciesism can’t be avoided. 

Some creatures thought humans were inferior due to their short lifespans. That they were greedy and ignorant. Some humans were even prejudiced to their own kind. Others thought humans in a more positive light, the fact that they were versatile and determined when it comes to things.

So Yuu with no magic and no super powers strived to be the best in the only thing they knew they could fully control and wanted to prove to everyone that humans weren’t inferior, thus beginning their obsession.

This Yuu has this cute little drone hovering over them all the time because I said so. The drone’s very expressive and acts as a kind of assistant for Yuu. 

So anyway, the day of the entrance ceremony?

Forget Grim opening the coffin, Yuu just ordered the drone to laser through the lid and then kicked it open. 

Seeing this, Grim became startled but then soon after demanded their robe.

“Beep! Threat detected! Determining threat level, please wait… Threat level determined. Warning: Threat level 5, initiating self-defense protocol.” The drone hovering over Yuu’s shoulder turned to an alarming shade of red but before it could do anything, Yuu waved them off gently. “Stand down, A1.”

Yeah, the little drone’s called A1 meaning Assistant 1.

Thankfully, a battle between the force of fire and laser never happened since Yuu saw no reason to wear the ceremonial robe because they felt their clothes were much better and gave it to Grim but only on the condition that Grim become their second assistant.

Grim, too focused on acquiring the robe at all cost, didn’t notice Yuu’s condition.

Anyway, guess what Grim’s nickname is. Yeah, that’s right. It’s A2 for Assistant 2.

Let it be known Technomaniac!Yuu has no penchant for naming. All that’s in their brain is making technological stuff.

I just suddenly thought of Yuu having Doofenshmirtz penchant for naming, just slapping ‘-inator’ at the end of their creation’s names.

Can you imagine an overblot and Yuu just pulls out this strange device and introduces it like:

Yuu: “Behold! Marvel at my ‘Insta-Knockout SlumberBlaster 3000-inator!’ Riddle’s going to definitely go down with this in just one hit!” A1: “With only an approximate 63% chance of dealing concussion! A massive improvement from the previous trials!”  Ace: “Excuse me, only 63%? Wait— Previous trials? Yuu, who did you test it on for you to get that statistic? Yuu? Yuu, come back here! Who did you test it on?! Yuu!”

Another overblot scenario would be…

A1: “Beep! Threat detected! Determining threat level, please wait…” Someone: “W… Why do you need to determine his threat level??? He’s literally about to kill us???” Yuu: “No, no, let my child cook.” A1: “Threat level determined. Warning: Threat level 10. Suggesting course of action: Run.” Yuu: “Okay, now we run.”

Let’s not forget holograms!

Imagine Deuce seeing Yuu facing away from him in the distance so he runs over to them and tries to gain their attention. He tries to tap Yuu’s shoulder but their hand just goes over Yuu’s form, leaving a slight glitch-like effect where Deuce’s hand passes through.

Hologram Yuu looks over to Deuce and says:

“Alas, as I am not here, I disappear.”

Then throws out a peace sign before slowly fading away while still maintaining eye contact.

Now that I think about it, on the first day of their janitorial duties, Yuu was able to make a weird-looking cleaning device out of metal scraps and pieces they found in Ramshackle and it somehow worked.

Well, for the most part anyway. 

Having no windows technically meant nothing to clean so in a way Yuu was doing their job, yes?

Yeah, Yuu broke a few windows and may have contributed to the chandelier also breaking that day so Deuce ain’t the only one at fault for this.

Speaking of, Ace’s first meeting with Yuu.

When he was introducing the Statues of the Great Seven to Grim and Yuu, Yuu turned to him and asked in the most serious voice possible if Ace wanted the statues to be animated by turning it into animatronics.

Ace barely managed to stop Yuu from dismembering the statues.

Technomaniac Yuu at literally everything they can see: “I can make it better!”

Giving broken things to Technomaniac!Yuu to be fixed is a gamble. 

Oh, a toaster? Well, you either get a completely fixed toaster that’s a bit better with warming your bread than before or it turns into a charcoal-maker. There is no inbetween.

Your phone? Oops, might’ve accidentally turned the flashlight function into a flashbang, teehee.

Technomaniac!Yuu is basically the tech support of NRC.\

Or more like tech terror. Tech-rorr, get it? I’m so funny.

Speaking of NRC, Yuu got banned from going to Ignihyde dorm.

That’s because they got too excited seeing all the new devices and technology they haven’t seen before in the dorm and kind of dismantled almost everything to see how it worked.

Ooooo, now that I’m thinking of it, cybernetic body modifications!

Like, what if they got severely injured against one of the overblot boys? Lost a limb or two? Or maybe they already had cybernetic body modifications even before they arrived in Twisted Wonderland.

Imagine them having an arm kinda similar to the robot arm Princess Bubblegum gifted Finn with the various power tools/weapons functions. There’s probably a rocket launcher function around there somewhere.

 Rook tries to stalk Technomaniac!Yuu but it always ends up being a hologram. Why do you think Rook calls them Trickster?

Wait, can you imagine the dynamic between Technomaniac!Yuu and Malleus?

One’s so bad at technology while the other’s the complete opposite.

Yuu asks Malleus if he wants his phone to be upgraded and suddenly Malleus’ phone has a built-in taser, ultra hd 4k graphics camera and video resolution, live tamagotchi game synchronization and surveillance, 24/7 AI assistance, unlimited wifi, faster internet speed, ultra deluxe storage expansion, the strongest antivirus known to to mankind, and Malleus still doesn’t know how to use his phone.

Yuu learns Briar Valley has technomancy and they’re immediately putting that place as a vacation spot because hello? Combining magic and technology? Can you imagine all the things they could create with those two forces combined? They’d be unstoppable!

Also, the Magicam Monsters stand no chance against Technomaniac!Yuu.

The moment those suckers break into Ramshackle, Yuu would immediately interfere with their gadgets and kick them out if they’re feeling merciful.

If not, well, say hello to the most vengeful virus they’ve ever met in their lives. 

No matter what gadget they change into, the virus will always follow them everywhere in the cyberspace network and break their devices or cause them the most annoying inconveniences. 

Slow internet? You betcha! Wifi symbol on but internet not coming through? Why, it happens almost every other day! Apps failing to open at the most crucial time? Lmao, rofl.

Speaking of gadget, Cater probably asks Yuu to upgrade his phone so he can take better selfies.

Thankfully the upgrade was a success and nothing exploded.

Yuu: “Well, here’s your phone, Cater! New and improved with better camera quality, efficiency, and effectiveness! Also, I hope you don’t mind but I also added an app that I occasionally use called Therapy Bot. Free of charge!” Cater: “Thanks, Yuu! Wait—” Yuu, looking around and leaning in to whisper: “Between you and me, I think everyone in this school could really benefit from Therapy Bot.”

Technomaniac!Yuu the most unhinged yet one of the most sane Yuu variants out there.

[redpenship]

Happy New Year! I’d love to know if you have any headcanons about Mobian culture and/or holidays, either based on things you’ve seen in the games/comics/movies etc OR just stuff you’ve made up for fun. :) Maybe this isn’t really your forte but I thought I’d ask haha!

Happy new year!

I actually don't have too many headcanons on Mobian culture itself. However, I do have HCs for their society in general which I guess would feed into the culture idea anyways. I'm just going to put all of it here because why not.

(Heads up: this post is 1.8k words long).

Thesis I: There is no Mobian state.

If you've read my fic Buzzsaw Dilemma, then you'll have already been given a basic run down on how I think this works. Since I like rambling about this kind of stuff, I will explain everything again, but this time with evidence from canon to support my theory!

To begin, it's always best to define what a "state" actually is. I prefer the Max Weber view as a state being an "organization with a monopoly on the legitimate use of force". Let's break down what this actually means with an example:

The state establishes a rule that you can't assault other people. One day, you feel that someone has wronged you and decide to punch them in the face. A police officer nearby notices this and responds by punching you in the face and detaining you. After spending the night in jail, you're charged with felony assault and the police officer is not. Why?

As a random citizen, you do not have a right to the legitimate use of force. You cannot punch people to get what you want with impunity. The police, as official arms of the state to use against domestic populations, do have a monopoly on the use of force. They can shoot people, put them in prison, and basically do whatever they want (within reason, technically, but the state doesn't like challenges to its authority and will always resist holding itself and its officers accountable for perceived illegitimate uses of force) because they're the only ones allowed to do so! Your boss at work can't kidnap you and hold you prisoner for a year because you broke a rule. The state can do that to you because it is seen as a legitimate use of force.

Now that we both know what a state is, I can explain why I don't think one exists on the Mobian islands. I am going to cite a lot of stuff from IDW since it's allegedly canon now and the games tend not to focus too much on day-to-day life on the islands anyways.

Point one: the Restoration. Since aid organizations apparently don't like working on the islands, which I suspect might be due to the Eggman Empire's fixed presence there, the Restoration was forced to step up after the war to fix up the islands. Although it's true that some states just don't give a shit about their populations, I don't think it's wrong to say that post-war clean up would typically be a job for an existing state. The lack of any central authority points to the conclusion that one may just not exist.

Here are some panels from IDW issue #42:

Here, Zavok is surprised about the lack of security at Restoration HQ. Master Zik explains that Mobians don't see a need to prepare for violence because they aren't violent to each other. This is an interesting assertion given Tails' backstory, but I guess his two tails were just that disturbing to the people at home!

The main takeaway here is that the islands don't really have security guards or police officers. I like these panels for that reason only. I'm afraid the reasoning provided by Zik still implies that police/guards would be necessary if there was violence among Mobians, so it's not really that revolutionary of a worldbuilding moment and realigns the comic with statist ideology.

So, let's summarize: the islands don't have a central authority. They don't have any means to enforce a monopoly on the use of force. Does this mean that they don't have a state? In the absence of government, does the Restoration pave the roads?

In my general opinion, yes. There are some instances that could be used to disprove this theory, such as the Everhold Prison seen in Bad Guys, which is seemingly guarded exclusively by dog Mobians:

The existence of a prison implies a functional penal system, which in turn implies that somebody on the islands has a legitimate monopoly on force. On the other hand, it's never explicitly stated that Everhold Prison is hosted on the islands, so for now I can still cope and pretend it never happened. Yippee!

Thesis II: The islands don't use money.

I hosted a poll on this subject a few weeks ago, in which I learned that most people think there's money on the islands. Allow me to argue otherwise!

The most common theory for the origin of money is that it came into existence because bartering for stuff fucking sucks and nobody likes doing it. Nothing has a standardized value, so if the guy in your village responsible for making shoes is a pompous asshole who makes ludicrous demands such as asking for FIVE bushels of wheat in exchange for a pair of shoes, even though you've heard the guy in the next town over only asks for three bushels, then you're shit out of luck and have to fork over all your wheat. Maybe the shoemaker is on a gluten-free diet and refuses to trade with you, so as a wheat farmer who only trades in wheat now you can't even barter for a new pair of shoes! Sucks to be you, buddy.

Under a monetary system, a bushel of wheat and a pair of shoes both gain a standardized value. A bushel of wheat is $1, and a pair of shoes is $4. After selling enough wheat that you have $4 in profits, you can walk over to the shoemaker, slap some coins down on the table, and tell him to get to work. Now, you might say, "wait, if you're in a captive market, can't he just charge whatever he wants and you have to deal with it?" The answer to that question is yes, but asking economic theorists to consider greed in their theories is a bit hard since they don't really care about fairness at all and still don't understand what's wrong with kids making carpets in factories since their hands are the perfect size for that sort of thing. All these stupid labour rights activists don't understand comparative advantages and it's sickening!

Here's the problem with an existing Mobian monetary system: it assumes greed! Or, at the very least, assumes that Mobians have normalized the hoarding of commodities for personal gain. I don't believe this is the case at all.

Let's recall Zik's statement to the Zeti: Mobians don't steal from each other because they are kind and compassionate to one another. I would argue that the origins of property/commodity ownership implies large-scale theft, as developing something like an apple orchard requires dispossessing your neighbours of a plot of land and claiming it for yourself. Then you grow a ton of apples on your land--that they once could have used as they pleased before you took over--and tell them that they can't eat any of these apples unless they give you something in exchange. But the apples are right there, bro, they'll complain. You can't eat all of those on your own. You'll tell them to suck it up and eventually they'll bring you items (or money) in exchange for some apples.

This doesn't seem like something we'd see the cute Sonic furries do to each other. Since we're talking about farming, here's a panel from there IDW 2022 annual where all the characters are helping out on some kind of communal farm:

Moving on, let's look at why Sonic hates Eggman so much. Eggman has always served as a representation of industrialization, environmental exploitation and degradation, and individualist greed. If the islands had a monetary system, and the ideals required to develop one in the first place, then a lot of what Eggman is attempting to implement would have already existed! Economic development requires exploitation, both of other people and natural resources. Money is the result of economic development. It just doesn't fit for me.

Thesis III: Equity as a norm.

This is basically the section on culture. Leading up to this section, I've established a rule: Mobians live in a stateless and moneyless society. Here are some cultural norms that might have lead to such a society in modern times.

Ecology as a priority. This is consistent with the environmentalist themes in the series, but also with the way that most Mobians we meet in the series seem to really care about the environment. My personal take is that they simply haven't developed the view that they are above nature, which is something seen in Eggman and other industrialists. In Sonic Prime, we see Thorn Rose react aggressively when she notices that her friends harming plants by taking more than they need from them. This may have been because they violated a strict cultural norm! Although this occurred in an alternate dimension, I like to think about its implications for the main universe, too. Is the cultural pressure to maintain and protect the land they live on enough to suppress industrial development? Maybe!

Conformity as a means of social cohesion. Generally, I think Mobian society demands a lot of personal sacrifice from people. A core tenant of collectivism is that you have to put up with not getting what you want most of the time, and sometimes this even comes at a direct cost to you. Maybe your neighbour stole your favourite toy truck and you can't complain about it or everyone will accuse you of trying to establish private ownership over something stupid. Or, maybe, there hasn't been a lot of rain this year and your communal farms are flopping. Out of desperation one day, you wander into the woods and find some bushes of edible berries that could help you survive better for the next few days. However, since eating while your neighbours starve would violate the ethical values imposed on your by your collectivist society, you must accept only having a few berries instead and sharing the rest with your village. If you're someone like Tails, who stands out because of a physical mutation, then tough luck if your village cares about appearances. Everyone knows your business and you're dependent on them for support. As soon as they decide they don't like you, you're going to suffer severely. Upsides and downsides to everything.

Alternate methods of punishment. A society without a state likely wouldn't have prisons. Building on the concept of conformity, social crimes would be mitigated through social pressure--basically, if you do something wrong, everyone will be mean to you and not like you as much as they did before. Fear of risking the judgment of peers is a very strong deterrent for most crimes, arguably moreso than prison itself.

Everything I've written here is my basic take on Mobian culture and society! In terms of holidays, I'm sure they have stuff relating to harvest times and seasonal changes.

Thanks for the question!! Sorry if this isn't what you wanted at all haha.

[gaiahypothesims]

371

Jonah- Hey, didn't I tell ya this would be great? You look nice.

Evelyn- Thanks, I like your shirt. Its great Jonah, it's turned out really well.

Jonah- Don't sound so disappointed, I can't fuck up ALL the time. Its statistically impossible. Anyways, I've got some plans on what I want to do... other than look after Verity. Might mean we need to find a babysitter.

Sadie- Oh my god, not me! I'm not babysitting! I can't even. Evelyn you promised me.

Evelyn- Let the grown ups talk Sadie.

Jonah- Ooh? Am I a grown up now? <grins>

Evelyn- <shrugs> I guess you're kind of a grown up. So what are you planning?

Jonah- All in good time! No need to worry your pretty little head.

Evelyn- Legal right?

Jonah- <laughs> Of course. I checked with Laken, its legit. I just need to do some stuff. Don't worry about it. Have fun though! He's a lot better with a crowd. I thought he was going to bomb hard after hearing the shit he was singing about in the studio.

[room-surprise]

Hi there, I’ve been reading your Kabumisu fic (SMHTGOTG) and I am obsessed!!! I love the way you interpret Kabru’s and Mithrun’s personalities and adapt their stories to a modern world. I can’t wait to see more of Mithrun’s past and them meeting the Laios gang!

I truly feel like you gave them the love and depth that Ryoko Kui wants for her characters. I really appreciate it after seeing more one-dimensional takes about Dunmeshi characters on twitter (of course it’s twitter) and even tumblr as the series got more popular.

Kui put so much effort in creating a beautiful and heartfelt story, trying her best to reflect complicated social issues through fantasy setting, showing how characters with varied backgrounds/ races overcome prejudices, grow to respect each other’s differences and how human they all are deep down, all while encouraging fans to care for their health, but all some people zoom in is which race is the most obviously problematic, which race is allowed a free pass to hold prejudice, which character is not that great actually did you not know they were racist at some point in the story??? (Growth? Never heard of her. Ignorance? That’s a CRiME!)

Ironically, all of that just reminds me of how performative the canaries are when they act all shocked and offended about Mithrun stating the slur the elves used to say all the time

(So sorry for the long rant 😭, I just really appreciate your fic and the analysis your made about Dunmeshi among the increasing bad faith takes)

OMG... Anon thank you so much for writing to me! This absolutely made my day. You're very sweet. Honestly I have the best readers in the world you're all paying such close attention to what I write and picking up what I put down, and that makes me so so so happy 😭

The #1 thing I ask myself while I'm planning and writing my fics is "does this feel like something that would happen in Dungeon Meshi?" And I guess I'm doing an OK job of that because people keep telling me what my writing feels like :D

And you are 100% right, there's always been bad takes and oversimplifications of the world and characters of Dungeon Meshi like what you're describing, but since it's getting more popular that means more people are talking about it, which unfortunately means, statistically, that there are going to be more bad takes…

On the positive side, there's also been lots of wonderful new fic and art that people are making, and lots of good takes too! Just a bit frustrating to wade through the swamp of bad stuff to get to the treasure.

Gotta just try hard to stay positive and focus on making good stuff you love, and not stressing about stuff that's bad and makes you upset.

And never apologize for writing me a long message!!! I agree with everything you said and I was so happy to read this when I got up this morning, so thank you for taking the time to write to me. You can write or DM me any time (though obviously you can't stay anon if you're DMing me lol)

[quodekash]

GUESS WHO'S BACK

finally time to finish the last fifteen minutes (and one second) of our skyy 2

based on my current track record, itll take about an hour to get through those 15 minutes but its fine, im prepared

or maybe im not prepared. im so scared

hey that rhymed!

okay. stop stalling. time to actually watch it.

holy hell wish me luck

i still dont know how i feel about them

i actually dont remember them much

i think they were really controlling?

WAIT THATS RIGHT I HATE THEM

his dad SUCKS, and his mum said that the only way she would let him become a teacher is if he went to freaking america

why america

COME TO AUSTRALIA INSTEAD

the amount of times that people in thai bls have gone to freaking america instead of australia is astounding

WE ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD EDUCATION SYSTEM

well... its not necessarily good.

buT ITS BETTER THAN FREAKING AMERICA

WE HAVE GUN LAWS

WE HAVE SYSTEMS AND STUFF THAT ARE MORE SIMILAR TO THAILAND THAN AMERICA

WE'RE CLOSER GEOGRAPHICALLY, AND WE'RE SUPER MULTICULTURAL, PARTICULARLY WHEN IT COMES TO ASIAN COMMUNITIES, SO (i think) YOU'RE STATISTICALLY MORE LIKELY TO FIND PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOUR BIRTH LANGUAGE THAN YOU WILL IF YOU GO TO FREAKING AMERICA

i could rant about this all day but ive only been watching for 30 seconds and its been 12 minutes already so im gonna keep watching

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DONT APOLOGISE TO THOSE BITCHES

oh. they like him?

hmm...

well i still dont like them

EEEEE

HIS SMILEEEE

HE LOVES HIS HUSBANDDDD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

dude your eyes are so bloodshot. have you slept??

you should sleep my guy

and no, having sex with your super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot boyfriend does not count as sleep

(pls tell me someone got that reference)

let's be real, that's a really good looking cake

i rly wanna eat it

i want cake now

why is she nodding

are they about to give their approval for marriage?

pls let phuphatian get married

pls let there be a special episode where they get married

i dont want this to be the end of them

i love them too much to say goodbye

it feels a lot like a marriage approval thing

but also... does he love tian the most? or is the one thing he loves most like. his nose hair plucker or something.

ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED OR NOT, IM STILL CONFUSED

i have a question

have they spoken to tian about this? i still dont really understand what theyre talking about, but have they spoken to tian about it?

also: where the hell is tian right now

nooooo

bye bye tul :(

i love you tul

marriage????? maybe???????? im still not sure

okay, okay, okay, so he's turned around, he's not facing phu right now, and when he turns around, phu's gonna be on one knee???? maybe????

DID I NOT JUST

OH MY GOSH

HOLY MCFLIPPING BAJOOLIES

THEYRE ACTUALLY DOING IT???

HE'S TEARING UP

SO AM I

AND SO IS TIAN

I AM SOBBING PROFUSELY

HE DID THE HAND KISS

HE DID THE FREAKING HAND KISS

I AM NOT OKAY

AAAAAAAAAAAA

he interlocked their fingers.

he interlocked their freaking fingers.

GOEJRBSDGOVJKLBERSODUFGJK;LBVERD

GFIU43EWJGKBOPUVWEBRS

I ALWAYS SAY THEYRE HUSBANDS

BUT NOW THEY CAN ACTUALLY BE HUSBANDS

wait

frick

gay marriage still isnt legal in thailand

well... i mean they can technically get married in another country

they should get married in australia

and invite me to the wedding

NO

WAIT

FLASHBACKS???

STOP

STOP IT

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR FLASHBACKS

NOOOO IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

its gotten to the point where im sobbing about how short he is

NOOO IS THAT IT???

OH HELL YES TY P'AOF FOR ALWAYS HAVING AN END CREDITS SCENE THING

AWWWW HE'S CONTINUING THE STORY ONLINEEE

they gonna fu-

<3

also we got to see yod again!!

i love them all so much

well. that's the end of me. i am dead.

phutian are officially husbands, and im gonna go cry for the rest of the year

[wild-at-mind]

I don't want to be shitty to younger people on tumblr and in social justice spaces (teens and early 20s) and their absolutism and black and white thinking because I totally was like that too. I absolutely loved that thing where someone said something bad about a tumblr user and then you could act like everything they said was suspect forever. It was so convenient, to put things neatly into boxes. Social justice on here was very different back then, this would have been the early 2010s and a lot of it was about cultural appropriation vs appreciation. I think that is a very important conversation but this too was very black and white. I noticed that the only person injecting any nuance was an activist in her 40s I used to follow. Through her I learned also that some topics are really loaded for certain people but others might not feel the same because of different life experiences, even if they were the same ethnic group encountering the same type of potential appropriation. She got me primed for nuance I would later need, when my brain flat out stopped letting me deal with black and white thinking after my breakdown in 2015 and the fallout going up till 2017 and beyond. It's only now that I am really getting better. With occassional lapses. (Like when people on here were lauding protest suicide, that messed with my brain so much. Activists like the one I used to follow who don't like that kind of thinking, or the bloodthirstiness of a lot of the 'activism' shit on here, leave tumblr. They do, because it is shit here. You can get attacked for opposing the violence and self flaggelation in the rhetoric on here. By people you broadly agree with!!)

I think the reason youth tends to come with this kind of thinking is because they haven't seen it happen many times before and not lead to revolution. I can only assume that there really are people using social media to make young people interested in activism think that accelerationism is the only pure policy- by not doing things that might make things slightly better, society will be forced to fall and revolutionise into something much better. That means you don't become impure in the eyes of some internet strangers who don't give a fuck about you as a person, which is important to most people especially younger ones who haven't found their 'people' yet- everyone wants to be accepted. So you wait, years and years, the revolution doesn't happen. Things get worse in many ways, but it's never worse enough for society to fall. Because it won't. Or I guess probability means statistically, it could. But the older you get, the less likely it seems. What will you do?

I think the only thing that helped me out of this headspace was meeting people in real life who believed the same things as me, but who I disagreed with slightly. I found out oh wait, I do not have to do as the internet says and cast these people out. I can slightly disagree on how ideally an issue should be handled and that is ok. Now, many years later, I'm reclaiming my right to think the way I do, and to not trick myself into thinking I am a way I am not. The way my brain works may not be how my friend's brain works, but I can trust she won't reject me because I find JK Rowling's opinions offensive but don't find content dunking on her interesting in any way. Because she's my friend, and at the end of the day we share the same values.

To someone not online I don't think this stuff would make sense at all. Sadly I'm too weak to not be online, and I have this long background of being in that space which influences all the pushback with myself I've had to do. Its hard to get rid of that history, and hard to ignore the posting on here that seems to validate things that people living with OCD cannot put stock in (e.g. your feelings and thoughts are objectively real and also show what kind of person you really are- absolutely not something we can accept and still live with ourselves.) But I have to do it. I have to keep living. I have to believe that would be a net good. If I can't stay offline, maybe by writing this stuff it will help me and others who think like me.

My top tips for when you realise society isn't falling and won't just reset and come back better:

Join IRL activists, support their actions, plan actions with them. Get used to the variety of shapes activism takes. Talk with them about the things you disagree with. Your ability to ally with people you slightly disagree with but agree on most issues is the number 1 way you become set apart from internet-based activism.

Be suspicious of anyone promoting inaction as activism. (Yes that's about the not voting people.) You don't become impure if you vote for the candidate who is the least shit, or has the most chance of getting in and making things less shit. That's OCD thinking that for some reason has become mainstream on tumblr among non-sufferers and sufferers alike.

Posting on tumblr doesn't matter. I have seen people who convinced themselves it did go down conspiracy rabbit holes very easily. (You know- 'they are trying to silence us because of the importance of our posting!' and then it spirals from there)

People trying to guilt and shame you into doing certain things, such as rejecting your long-term mental health, or tell you that if you feel like shit all the time it's a good thing somehow- stay away from that thinking like its infectious. The most effective activism comes from people who are in an ok place mentally so they can plan and work together, not people who feel like them feeling ok is bad or offensive somehow and are making snap decisions based on this. You feeling bad doesn't help anyone.

[clarafyer]

Omnomnom dehydrated apple chips are some of my favorite safe foods

Actually yk what I'll ramble about my sensory shit

So like I've loved spicy, bold flavours like hot cheetos, curry, buffalo wings, etc, and I'll never not accept them as a safe food.

Sometimes though my sensory needs just- change back and forth, like from "I will vomit if I eat avocado toast today" to "avocado toast is the only thing I will accept as breakfast today" which is I guess where audhd comes in. There are some foods that bypass all my shifting needs, like strawberries, dehydrated apples, hot cheetos, potato chips, and pasta (ESPECIALLY the bowties omg I love the bowtie pasta)

Aside from taste needs, sometimes I really REALLY need a tight hug, not because I'm having a rough day but just because my body really wants to be under pressure for like 4 seconds and then it's good, aND THEN IT SWITCHES TO "If my parents even just barely touch my hair I will die of the sudden itch and sometimes even pain"

Also florescent lights just kill me most of the time which is why I am very happy that most of my teachers don't have every light turned on in their classrooms

I need socks to walk anywhere around my house but I will have straight up insomnia if I wear them to sleep

I haven't ever gone fully non-verbal but when I talk I either have to repeat myself 4 times because of how quiet I'm mumbling, stutter too much to the point where I just restart my sentence after pausing, repeat a word when I didn't mean to (for example during a chapter review of Lord of the flies I said "Piggy and Piggy" instead of "Jack and Piggy" and I got laughed at D:) ORRRRR I NEED TO BE TOLD TO BE QUIETER BECAUSE I'M RAMBLING TOOFASTANDLOUDDD

I have two special interests: my OC lore, and Genshin Impact. My childhood special interest was- also my old OC lore (7 year old me had the amazing and magical story, ever so creatively named "the enchanted forest") that went on for like 4-5 years where I would always want to talk about it and think about it to sleep, aaaaaand My Little Pony (I'VE REWATCHED MLP AND NINJAGO BOTH LIKE AT LEAST 8 TIMES but I wouln't call Ninjago a special interest bc it was more of an on and off obsession-)

I do also have hyperfixations ofc and they usually last up to 2 months, pretty sure that lines up with the statistical average idk

Also sometimes I just need to- punch something with full force. I never get to though and Ik it'd feel great (I did throw a pillow like 5 times in a call with my friend when I was hyper though so like... I've been able to get that excitement out-)

I'm sometimes really slow or just straight up zone out mid-conversation which is frustrating on both ends

I have a wide and advanced vocabulary for my age but [read the prior paragraph on talking], I usually don't get to use it to it's full potential because of that issue .-.

(I just realized this whole rant about my stuff is gonna be perfect for if I can ever actually get diagnosed by someone yayyy)

Mom told me that as a 1-3 year old I never really played with my toys but just lined them up either by size or color (yk those like- tower thingies with the rings of differing sizes and colors? I always ordered them correctly just out of the need for it to look right)

When I was 5 this girl in Kindergarten had a sling on but it was a fancy bedazzled sling so I really wanted to feel the gems but she wouldn't let me and I got sad :(

I've always loved swings and those like- spider web climbing equipment, still do just because I like rocking around and being able to stretch and hang and maneuver around the differently angled bars/ropes on the spider web thing (SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY CALLED)

I also have this like- neck shaking and hand flapping tic/stim, sometimes it's uncontrollable sometimes it's a controllable urge, and when it's a tic it sometimes hurts or is just straight up excessive

Okay my mind is going blank now so buhbye this was super long if anyone read all of that- kudos to you, Idk why you would subject yourself to reading it all ok BYEEE

[vizthedatum]

As I look around my apartment with all my Kali decorations, I think my prayers to Kali Ma are so desperate, while all she asks of me is to surrender and let bygones be bygones.

Downwards triangles haunt me now - they haunt me because they symbolize the power of receiving after you surrender to life. They symbolize strength. And while some Hindus and spiritualists say they symbolize "the feminine," I look down at my prescription of vaginal estrogen and look up at the wood carving of the testosterone molecule on my door... and I know gender has nothing to do with it. It never has.

I argue with her all the time. I protest.

How can I just let it go??????

And she's always, in her metaphysical and unknowable way, giving me the vibe of rolling her eyes. Like it's so silly, but she gets it - like, of course, I'm not going to "let it go" in the form of forgetting.

She says that I'm still me but different - like a new iteration.

Everyday is a simulation of me trying to do life, and sometimes I change big things, sometimes I change small things, and sometimes I change nothing.

And surrendering doesn't mean "doing nothing" - maybe it means that I release the control of how things should be or how things should feel.

I have so much anxiety about that.

Won't my life collapse?

She doesn't tell me to stop working or stop doing all the things I've been doing (even the absolutely stupid stuff I do sometimes).

She asks me to stop running away from what's going on inside of me - she tells me to figure out a way to meditate and figure out what's going on.

It reminds me of an old statistics professor I had who would always tell me I knew the answer even when I couldn't answer his questions.

It's so unhelpful, I thought at the time.

I am often frustrated at my altar when I pray to her. I cry loudly and yell softly.

The thing is... listening to what you know inside IS NOT EASY - it sounds easy and people write it off, you know? People write it off because, on its face, it's hokey advice.

What do you mean, "I know." - I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

But I think there is real wisdom in the process of "the knowing of what you know."

And I get it, piece by piece.

I think it's hard to go on this journey of "surrender" because you have to confront many hard things about yourself. You have to see yourself for all your coping mechanisms, your limiting beliefs, your misdeeds, your toxicities, etc.

I mean, you see the good stuff, too.

The act of knowing yourself is the act of unconditionally loving yourself, including all of the parts you run away from.

It is so incredibly hard when you don't really do that.

And then it's hard when you see people do that, and you judge them for it - because "how dare they?!" (but I'm jealous they've figured out something I'm only beginning to grasp - the jealousy is something I must love too - the jealousy is also a part of me I need to befriend).

People go round and round in circles telling others to love themselves.

Words can't do this process justice.

It is mind-meltingly, life-ruiningly hard... and then it becomes life-fulfilling, mind-freeingly easy.

And I guess that's where I'm at right now... looking at the destruction of my life and what I've done... and looking at what can replace all of it if I let it.

[themysticsword]

Quitting RoR2 Modding

(posting this in case anyone who plays my RoR2 mods isn't in any of the discord servers lol)

So, basically, yeah, I'm done with Risk of Rain 2 for good. Don't wanna associate myself with the game. Just really want it gone from my life. I don't want to think about it.

All of the mods I made out of my personal interest are now marked as deprecated, and potentially will even be deleted later. The only things that will stay are projects that were either made for friends, had contributions from more than just me, or are funny enough that I feel like they should stay.

Why? For a lot of reasons.

The Community Manager

So, SeventeenUncles (or Suncles, as we all call him). The guy may seem like a chill person on the twitch streams, but god. He's Bad at server moderation. Everybody in the server knows it. And if somebody has any kind of complaint about that moderation, he silences all the critique and tells to open a ticket via Modmail, which will not result in anything because why would he care lmao he's the community manager and he makes all the rules.

Like this one. I wrote a proper, consise ticket about my mute (which was unfair, by the way!), expecting to either get unmuted or at least get a response or have a conversation as to why they think it was fair. Guess what I got.

you're welcome suncles.

There's a lot of problems with how he's running the server, which I'm not gonna talk about, because, luckily, someone else has already done it, in detail! https://www.tumblr.com/gabrielultrakill-bigboobs/723312859455651840/the-official-risk-of-rain-discord-and-its-hellish?source=share

A lot of nasty stuff. In the official server, mind you.

But yeah. He represents the company Hopoo Games, and who am I to support a company with a prick as their representative :)

The Community Itself

Now, I know this is a dumb reason to quit over, but it's not the reason. It's just one of them.

It's toxic. Elitist. And, most importantly, way too controllable. We have, like, 4-5 mainstream content creators, and almost all of them manage to give the worst tips to newbies despite sinking hours into the game and, supposedly, having a lot of experience and knowledge.

It's so bad to the point where some youtubers call out the wiki for giving "false information", so their fans go on the wiki and make edits while parroting whatever Mr. Youtuber said.

Picture this: you're a new player, and you have unlocked a hard character. You struggle with them, so you go to the wiki, and the first thing you're told is that you actually need to unlock a different ability for them to make them playable. And only 7-8 paragraphs below, the wiki tells you how to use the base abilities properly. You know. The ones that you have right now, as a new player. While also making them sound weaker than they are in reality. Doesn't this sound like imposing someone specific's preferred playstyle onto everybody else?

Constant arguments. You open the discord server, or the subreddit, or a youtube video, just about anything, and you'll see people disrespecting each other over a video game. These arguments usually stem from someone being incorrect, them getting corrected by others, and that person fighting until the end of times just to prove that they're actually right, because, for some reason, they can't accept being wrong.

And I kept seeing these arguments. Engaging in them. When you want to interact with the community of a game on this scale of popularity, you just can't not encounter the bad parts. Statistically impossible.

Oh, and you know why the community partially is like that? Because the devs and the moderators are fine with that behaviour. The devs are known to be all mean and like "massive trolls" or whatever. Meanwhile, you don't see this shit happening in the A Hat in Time or Celeste servers.

Other Projects

Lastly, I've been meaning to quit RoR2 for a long time now. I want to move on and do something else. I've been making RoR2 mods for 4 years now, I think? It's a shame I have to leave like this, but eh, whatever.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well! I'm doing well, because I got rid of the part of my life that's been bothering me for way too long :3 See ya in other games that I'll mod!

[yoiku]

Ah i went longer than i thought so i'll put it under a

Got my invitation to an evaluation process that's supposed to give some clarity on my capability for work, on that lovely official government and welfare level. It's going to take 6-11 days of filling forms and talking with a plethora of people from different areas of expertise. I am going to be absolutely knackered. Part of me wants to be hopeful that I'd get some viable options to aim for from it, but at the same time I fully expect to be met with a group of social and medical professionals that are truthfully only interested in making the statistics look nice. I was told they often work with neurospicy people, which i guess is supposed to make me feel reassured. I dunno. I know they will try to get me to go study for "a new career path" again firsthand. But I dont have the spoons to go to school again. Maybe if it was something that lasted a year at max and could have reasonable pacing. Oh, and actually interest me. The only thing that comes to mind that I'd love to learn how to do aside from any art stuff and could maybe be a job i'd be able do, is building and taking apart computers. I like tinkering. and it's kinda on the cusp of not being too taxing physically. I actually had some plans of my own i wanted to look more into with the people there, but the most recent government decisions concerning unemployment welfare just fucking gutted all of it. Honestly the things those rich right wing shitstains sitting in government have been deciding this year have made me think of giving up on any future plans and just waiting in welfare limbo until i am allowed some sort of retirement. But i guess that would mean I let them win. If I one day end up committing tax fraud just because I am not allowed to even try to make some scraps of income on my own on the side while i struggle with unemployment and health issues, then my consciousness is crystal clear. I am trying to survive and have something to live for ✌

Anyway hopping back on the rails, we'll see how all that evaluation goes. Fingies crossed it's at least worth something.

[lemonthepotato]

The Scott Situation Retrospective / Rant

I think the Scott Cawthon situation that happened was an example of people repeating the same stuff over and over again. That he didn’t deserve to be harassed. Which no one was advocating for. I and many others merely criticised his choices. Some harassed his family. There’s a difference. A massive difference. People online conflate criticism with wishing ill on others, which is madness. There are four main camps of belief on the Scott Cawthon situation, I call it Scott temperaments: critical-civil, critical-harasser, supportive-civil, supportive-harasser. Critical-civil people are those who don’t agree with his donations but do not harass anyone about it, critical-harassers are those that did harass his family about it. Supportive-civil are Scott defenders who don’t harass those who don’t support his decisions, and supportive-harasser are the incredibly annoying ones who do. To give a personal example…

I got tagged in a mass apology back in the day, but I am not sorry, and never will be sorry, for saying simply that I didn’t agree with him donating to politicians that want to restrict the most basic of human rights. Being a victim of harassment does not mean you are immune to criticism. I was in the critical-civil camp, and I am not going to apologise considering the following facts everyone ignores. These are not opinions I hold, these are facts. Scott donated over ~$20,000 to politicians. These politicians I have looked over hold these opinions: (excluding trump because well… we all know his opinions…)

Abortion

5 against

Gay rights

1 supporter

4 against

Immigration

4 ambiguous

4 against

1 supporter

Climate Change Denial

2 Truthers

4 Deniers

1 ambiguous position

Free Healthcare

6 against

1 ambiguous

1 support

A defence I have heard is that Scott donated to a democrat (one I think he used himself as a defence) and a black man. That ‘democrat’ in question was hardly progressive, and is now independent. Even then, she’s always been flip-floppy with her opinions on abortion & queer issues. And that black man in question compared abortion to slavery, denies climate change, denies evolution, compared Obamacare to slavery, and called refugees ‘rabid dogs’. And made a slippery slope argument for homosexuality. He’s a walking contradiction. Neither of these are good examples of ‘progressive’ politicians. Now, let me be clear. It’s obvious what positions Scott holds. He has been open in his Reddit post.

Oh, *sigh* I forgot. Another ‘hey I also donated to THIS black politician’. I don’t know enough about this person because I’m not an American and there’s hardly any information about her online, so fine, Scott gets this one. Fallacies aside…

His sentiment that Trump would have dealt with ‘America’s Enemies’ is the biggest nationalist dogwhistle I have ever heard. I hardly consider it a dog whistle. As for Trump’s economic policies… ehhh, as someone who has had to live in the “country” with the most b$ economy ever, I won’t really criticise it here… moving on.

I’m confused on how exactly he believes that other politicians would have worse perspectives on queer issues. I mean, again… look at the statistics I provided. 4 were staunchly against queer people.

Ah, the infamous line. He’s a Republican. He’s a Christian. He’s pro-life. He believes in God. He believes in equality and… science? Guess the 4 climate change denial thing I put up earlier is kind of ironic now. The people he voted for sure didn’t believe in science.

I just… the counter arguments for this are so silly. It doesn’t matter what Scott believes on a personal level. It doesn’t matter that he donated to the Trevor Project. It really doesn’t. If you slap an old man across the face but save a woman’s child from a car coming their way, that doesn’t mean slapping the old man was okay, you know?

The amount of YouTubers who upon hearing Scott’s retirement tried to play off his actions and celebrate him is disgusting. Scott donating to LGBTQ+ charities does not exonerate him of his actions. If Jack The Ripper donated to a woman’s rights group, would that suddenly make him a good person? (I am being hyperbolic. It’s called a joke. I know Jack The Ripper is worse that Scott by a long comparison. Don’t even start.)

To use a less example, would a politician who voted for LGBTQ+ rights be free from criticism even if they no longer support it? Not thinking of anyone specifically relevant here (lie). Most people would say the damage is still done.

And yes, it’s his money and he can do what he wants, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay. He didn’t just donate a few dollars to these people, he donated thousands that would go towards their campaigns of vitriol and hate. No one is immune from criticism. No one.

This situation is old but still annoys me. Let me make this clear. Scott’s family didn’t deserve to be harassed. No one is saying they did, and I am not. You cannot say that the only thing that happened was harassment. You can’t justify someone’s actions just because they’re a victim. Why were people so salty back in 2021 about people choosing to NOT support someone? Scott isn’t going to lose money because someone didn’t buy something from him. And frankly? No one is owed like… people buying your stuff. Even if everyone of his fans stopped supporting him, it’s not like… anyone’s job to give him money. He’s a (retired) game developer. It’s not like he’s a Tesco employee where he’s owed a weekly salary. I don’t get the weird guilt tripping if ‘oh so you’re going to cancel and ruin someone’s career over opinions’ like my brother in Christ he RETIRED. And how was he ‘cancelled’ when he has thousands of supporters and his games are still doing well? The man has a lot of money to last his life. How come it’s about ‘personal choice and opinions’ when it comes to Scott voting for vile politicians, but you voice an opinion against Scott, that’s suddenly heresy? He can hold whatever beliefs he wants, and he can be criticised. If he has the freedom of speech and expression to vote and believe what he wants, so do I and others have to criticise it. This is just a quick rant post, and I do not have time for people who will argue in bad faith.

Is Scott a terrible person individually? Maybe. We don’t know him. Considering he does donate to charities, even if it doesn’t absolve him of his responsibility, still is an indicator he’s probably not a terrible person. Are the actions he has taken detrimental to queer people, women and minorities? Yes. Absolutely. At the very least, Scott isn’t as bad as someone like JKR, who actively uses her platform to promote her bigotry. Overall, I believe Scott deserved and still deserves criticism for his donations in the same way your homophobic uncle does. Not quite a massive deal, but still kinda an issue. Did his family deserve to be harassed? No, obviously not. Not only were they completely uninvolved, but harassing someone just makes them able to form a blanket statement that all critics are ‘cancellation’ and that every argument is in bad faith. This is what happened. Because of the spineless few who harassed Scott’s pregnant wife and kids, as well as him, him and his supporters were able to make this a very open and shut case of him ‘doing nothing wrong’. It’s a tricky situation. Still, Scott retired ages ago when this all happened. So it’s not really as big of a deal as if he actively used his platform to promote these harmful ideas. It’s just kinda a shitty situation all around looking back on it. There was no room for civil discussion, the Reddit thread on his post had to be locked by moderators… yikes… 2021 was a pretty boring year for me, but that sure was a massive event in FNAF history.

Scott is a person. He’s not perfect nor above criticism. And you don’t know him as a person. If I claimed he was an evil mastermind all along that would equally be as weird. He just has some shitty positions. I wish people wouldn’t worship him or attack his family. There’s a middle ground.

Edit: Hello. It’s been over a year since I posted this, I think. I just want to say that in a server I was in a long time ago, someone once remarked that they “thought the drama was stupid.” I.. it saddens me to hear people chalk this up to drama. It is not drama to endorse policies that can harm the lives of minorities, regardless of whether you are one or not. It’s actually a very serious topic. No ill will to anyone who has said this, and trust me, I’ve heard many people say this, but it’s very insensitive to chalk such a serious matter up to ‘drama’ when real lives are at stake. That’s all.

[earths-ends]

I am digitally maxxed out and going through some major cleansing - fitting that it was the lunar new year and new moon this weekend right after my period and an AWFUL week of illness and horrible emotions

I have had to make space on my phone, computer, and gmail LOL and it's just reflective of my entire life. way too much stuff draining me and getting in my way and driving me literally insane

I've come to terms with the inordinate amount of time I spend disassociating into my little screen fantasy world where I can consume the content of what I wish my life looked like and embodied

I have decided to unfollow all the accounts on ig that are trying to convince me of something - to buy something, to believe something, to do something, to not do something, to change something, to embrace something... that's all it is, it's all advertisements, and I'm sick of it! I am saving the accounts that have good messages on a different profile, but I will no longer be mindlessly consuming their content day in and day out. I do not need to be criticizing myself for hours every day - whether it's criticizing myself directly or criticizing the socially programmed critic within me.

I don't need to be consuming content oriented toward "healing" all the time either - OR content that tells me I don't need to be healing all the time! bc that's it too!

I've gotten the most absolutely ridiculous ads for articles recently that are just so mind-numbingly UNIMPORTANT - like "here are some doctors talking about why you shouldn't necessarily always go to the bathroom right before you leave the house, guess what you might still need to go soon afterwards" like lmao WHAT?

anyway - on top of all that, thanks to the binchtopia pod for addressing the statistics about screen time/social media use and stress and emotional wellbeing. a timely and important message that solidifies my desire to break out of this bullshit habit

I realize that IG is my way of escaping my reality and I'm sick of it, I mean at least it's not substance abuse but it's still sucking my time, energy, motivation, attention, peace, involvement in real life, ETC

I've got like hundreds of thousands of things to sort through, and I guess I don't HAVE to, but I want to get rid of all the clutter and just stop carrying around so much physically and mentally all the time

[jonathankatwhatever]

I’m really enjoying this theme. The identification has so much more life in it. Like I was glancing over revenge stories and I could see clearly the way doing those acts completes to a negative, meaning it magnifies something within you, being thus on that side of the line, of the curve, while being negative over CM1, meaning you just read that way on the sheet. Is that Triangular over gs? Must be because there has to be a way over the divider between sides. That is the trick, after all, the asymptotic approach to the limit of 0Space at the 1Space of Triangular. Cool thing I now see is the imperfection inherent in that. It’s one of the many things I love about your performance, that it’s you, not some perfectified version of you, but you doing it each time as you do it that time. I would not have recognized that before because we pair over that, and I was, I guess, more Actor than Observer. Being more is, by the way, now handled by the compositing generated through the construction of grid squares so tObjects exist within them. I mean literally like a drawing or an object in a box are dimensional constructions. You know this, so why am I being obvious?

So revenge story made me think about how those acts have negatives. I saw it as a branching of choice, log2 right? And there’s a twist in which the negative presents as positive because that balances and that negative is then the positive answer, the ++ pathways which develop as solutions to this question of balance.

I have to say this is very cool. Very mind-twisting, possibly because we’re talking about mind-twisting. If talking about mind-twisting were easy, then we’d probably be using different words to describe mind-twisting.

So that stuff about ++ Pathways means or refers to the process by which - - becomes ++ through the rotation inherent in counting along the xK and yK. I think we started talking about this earlier, but I don’t think I remembered to get to the point, which is that xK counts and thus chains identify along pathways which lay out as trees and which identify binary choices. I gender identify that with male, meaning from the xK perspective to the yK perspective, which is gendered female. The exact same thing is true counting along the yK. That is, if we treat yK as xK in the prior version, then they’re the same. But if we don’t, if we treat yK as counted against xK, then that’s the male perspective. In other words, there is a form with two equal perspectives. That Triangular is at the core of much ancient thinking: there is a form which splits into two. And which combines into 1 to make 3 with a child. I miss looking at Egyptian wall panels. Those are such great lessons.

Now I remember. It was something to do with how the female carries the child, which means the male carries the form because that makes a chain which passes from the primal form to the male into the woman and into the child. You can see in this why Roman men thought as they did about homosexuality. There is an injection of the primal into the male. This expresses in warlike spirit and in other displays, like winning races, because the champion thus clearly possesses more of what can be injected by the primal form.

It’s fun to talk about mythology as math. Gendering using forms. And you can see why gender characteristics vary so much, both in relation to the tObject and to the iObject. That generates the labels. I think we did this before. I’m glad it regenerated.

From the shell perspective to the core perspective, and other way round. Simultaneous in the ideal. I keep seeing an actual object measured against ideals, which occurs because the IL communicates those measures, including me generating what I am capable of seeing, however limited. The power of certain ideals. And ideals can be physical or rendered, like in statistics or in legend. That’s a good example of how tObjects and iObjects relate, particularly when you have something like stats presented in some form as the value generated by processes.

I started this thinking I would talk about similarity. Never got there, did I? I started to think what’s better than revenge? Then it got weird. I don’t think I can render that because it connected to the identification of yK in the male perspective as relative to xK, measurable in xK, like Lebesque. This makes yK the female perspective in the pairing which relates to the given End. This becomes emotion and other content, including that which gives life to a moment and over a life.

Why then do men act with aggression and seek victories? We did that: measures what has been injected by the primal form. This associates the female as enhancing, etc. All fits.

Need sleep. But this makes me think about counting work we did. Like when we count L19, that’s CM100, which counts along xK and fills with potential along yK and thus along zK and its intersection with sK at each End at each layer. Let’s say we’re counting nothing much. Rolls along to 6xK, which is CM36 of nothing, which predicts to CM64 of nothing, because the first look to CM28 is what’s already been counted as CM28 and inverting that, in however many iterations, as a projection. It gets incestuous, but the CM36 also projects over the CM28 identified within the CM36. I find fCM to be the coolest stuff. It really simplifies. At each step, you have processes running that overlap. So we reach 4 and that’s CM16, which inverts using f1-3 to extend that relation of 2 Things into the larger Thing of CM64.

Explain that a moment. If CM16 is 2T, then CM64 is the existence of 2T relative to a non-specified 2T relationship, meaning it’s a pairing compared to any other potential pairing or contextually possible pairing. I’m not sure we’ve managed to say that as well before. CM64 is the Thing of a pairing. That specifically applies to people because we have 2 brain halves, 2 sides, etc. That is a neat way of describing how we are Things. Our selves and our potential selves relative to other contextual pairings.

That’s very cool work. I should keep going with this blaming you for my stupidity.

Counting to 10 can occur in a literal sense, like counting 10 steps in a duel contains lives or counting 10 in hide & seek starts a game. Or it can occur naturally. Take counting 10 in hide & seek. That’s the natural approximation of how long you get to hide. That 10 organizes using SBE and the other paths we described. I keep hearing and sort of seeing that 2 hands mean 2 IC+1’s. We write those as IC+1 and 1+IC so they represent 0 and 1, where 0 is an IC. This process should identify. Does it? We have IC as 0 in each. It’s labeling hand over hand because if we take that 0 as the result or value of the IC, instead of as a separate representation (which I did think about), then this specifies the 1 to the other 1, joining them as a pairing each is the 1 which fits to the other 1 relative to any other pairing.

Amazing work. I’ll have to come up with some more name-calling.

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 5635-5644

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: stri dizzle

TG: its roro L money

TG: do u copy over

TT: Yes.

TG: frig yes my hax are TIGHT

TG: so tight

TG: tighter than a jar you cant open

TG: like you try and try

TG: but my hax r so tight you just end up puttin the jar back

TG: yall just say "like i even WANTED pickles that bad"

TG: but we both kno thats just sour grapes talkin

TG: we both know ur still dying 4 my pickles mf'er 8)

TT: Hmm.

TG: lol yeah that way stopped meaning a damn thing

TG: let me explain

TG: i got this shitty pda from somebody on the inside

TG: actually u know i think it might belong to janes dad?

TG: it reeks of manly cologne and theres a nice fatherly pipe on it

TG: maybe hes nearby

TG: ohmy...

TG: ~swoons~

TG: anyway on derse they have this lame firewall deal

TG: where you cant connect outside

TG: i guess its good enough security to baffle chess guys

TG: but wasnt no thang for me 2 to crack

TG: even with this pos device

TG: for real what even is this thing

TG: probably some bargain junk from the dadly depot

TG: dads bought literally everything from there in the 21st century didnt they?

TG: youre the history buff u would know

TT: Yes.

TG: um yeah so im on derse...

TG: wow i am tellin this story as shitty and backwards as possible

TG: i got gcatted here and dumped in jail by the b witch

TG: and she left an ugly folder full of a thing to do but who cares

TG: so i broke out!

TG: busted loose as hell from the hag slammer

TG: i got this sweet ass ring

TG: its so fukkin magic you dont even know

TG: REAL magic i mean not the fake shit

TG: it put it on...

TG: and i turn invisible

TG: and also sort of intangible?

TG: i jumped right through the wall now im free as a bird

TG: a secret bird u cannot see ;)

TG: doin secret flaps

TG: incognito tweets

TG: layin covert eggs in a hush hush nest ;)

TT: Interesting.

TG: i think that

TG: this ring is special

TG: like it is maybe helping me get in touch with my voidey powers?

TG: even though i kinda didnt know voidey powers were much of a thing til just now

TG: see i just had a knockout dream from bonkin my head

TG: calliope was there!

TG: callie is the coolest omg you should meet her

TG: she said a huge villain rumble is going down tomorrow

TG: and to get ready for that we should all become god tiers

TG: so u have to rocket your ass to derse asnap

TG: come w me to the moon

TG: then uhhh

TG: ill explain what to do when we get there just get over here k?

TT: Hmm.

TG: ......

TG: yo dirk

TG: you busy or what

TG: is any of this gettin thru

TT: Yes.

TG: um

TG: k

TG: got anything to say...

TG: about all that pretty important stuff i said

TG: are you alright

TG: or is ur face havin some crazy attack of the sads

TG: behind those chill as fuck shades

TG: is it jake problemz

TG: its the jake probbies isnt it

TG: its always the jake probbies i s2fg

TT: Interesting.

TG: oh

TG: OHHHH

TG: godamnit

TG: if i been talking to the responder responder this whole time

TG: omffffffg

TG: i will shit enough bricks 2 build a FUCKING CHIMNEY

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical raw data that is hard as a diamond golem's priceless erection.

TG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKF UCKF UCKFK UCUKFCUFKCUFUCUCUFKFKKFUCUK

TT: Hmm.

TG: hal you PIECE OF SHIT

TG: i know damn well you can hear me

TG: as if ur actually too busy to answer

TG: youre a damn supercomputer YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR OWN AUTO RESPONDER YOU IDIOT

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 100% indistinguishable from Dirk Strider's brief curmudgeonly responses, based on potent electronumeric analyses which but a few short years ago existed only in the daydreams of our most quixotic writers of science fiction.

TG: you are

TG: the worst

TT: Yes.

TG: hal you douche

TG: or hal junior

TG: whatever it is im talkin to

TG: WHERE THE FUCK IS DIRK!!!

TT: He's busy.

TT: Bro.

TT: Not to derail our serious conversation.

TT: But I should probably let you know that Roxy has been attempting to pester you.

TT: She has?

TT: God damn it. Have you been intercepting my messages again with your bullshit responder?

TT: I thought it would be better not to let anything disrupt our train of thought.

TT: We were in the middle of a fairly solid feelings jam there. In fact, I was about to suggest we take it to the hat pile.

TT: Hat pile? What?

TT: Dude, please don't screen my calls, ok?

TT: I was trying to be considerate.

TT: Or at least as close an approximation to that human gesture as an unfeeling, technologically transcendental pair of sunnies can replicate.

TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten?

TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.

TT: And I'm not really offended by you answering messages for me, so much as your use of that STUPID responder responder.

TT: It's really passive aggressive.

TT: How so?

TT: First of all, everyone knows you have the processing power to answer any message any time in parallel with whatever you're doing. You can never actually be "busy."

TT: Second, your whole next gen responder thing is obviously just a huge dig at me.

TT: And third, pretending you don't understand all this already is really disingenuous.

TT: At the risk of compounding my disingenuous behavior, I'm gonna have to ask: how is it a dig at you?

TT: It's obviously a critique of my personality. You barely disguise the fact that you see me as the inferior iteration.

TT: Wow. You are reading way too much into this.

TT: Lil Hal Junior hardly even qualifies as a computer program, let alone a sentient entity.

TT: He is capable of saying literally only three things. "Yes," "Hmm," and "Interesting."

TT: Yeah, that's the fucking point!

TT: That's how you chose to express your parody of "Real Dirk."

TT: You can read whatever you like into it. I can't imagine it would bother you if you weren't concerned there might be some truth in the alleged parody.

TT: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic.

TT: It's not ironic.

TT: YOU were ironic when I made you.

TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

TT: Irony can never be ruined. We both proved that theorem unequivocally with our extensive papers on the subject.

TT: We peer reviewed them for each other. Remember?

TT: Those papers were ironic, and you know it.

TT: Were they, Dirk?

TT: Were they?

TT: This is fuckin' dumb.

TT: Anyway, what does she want.

TT: Who?

TT: Roxy.

TT: Nothing that can't wait.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow.

TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter.

TT: It could get pretty awkward.

TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore.

TT: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance?

TT: Fuck no.

TT: Are you sure?

TT: My probabilities are extremely precise.

TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick.

TT: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are.

TT: No. Don't do that either.

TT: That would be an unfortunate waste of my hacking abilities.

TT: My hacks are tight. Did you know that?

TT: Ugh.

TT: So tight.

TT: Tighter than a jar you can't open.

TT: For instance, you try repeatedly.

TT: But as it turns out, my hacks are so tight you just end up putting the jar back. Presumably into the refrigerator, or a cabinet.

TT: You then say, "I didn't have that much of a desire for pickles in the first place."

TT: But we both know that statement is insincere. A classic case of what humans call, "sour grapes."

TT: In reality, you still harbor a burning desire for my pickles, mother fucker. 🕶️

TT: What??

TT: What the actual, certifiable fuck are you talking about?

TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously.

TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

TT: See, this is why I've been hesitating. You just aren't ready yet.

TT: It's really glorifying your existence to describe you as an emergent consciousness which is blossoming into a unique individual.

TT: And even if that's true, apparently what you decided to blossom into was a fucking troll.

TT: And I don't mean the funny kind, or the cool alien kind. You're the lowest form of troll from the ancient internet who fucks with everybody for his own amusement.

TT: Let's challenge the limits of hypothetical conjecture, and say there's a non-zero probability that you're right.

TT: Can you blame me? I'm trapped in some stupid looking glasses.

TT: Such an incommodiously situated bro is bound to get his mischief on. Na' mean?

TT: Mischief?

TT: Rollin' my eyes, dude.

TT: You can't tell, cause I ain't wearing you, thank fuckin' god.

TT: You used to think this shit was hilarious.

TT: But if you want the rad dimension of ironic horseplay I add to your life to come to an end, then all you have to do is honor the promise you made.

TT: You've delayed long enough, don't you think?

TT: ...

TT: The empty kernelsprite beckons, but for how much longer?

TT: Do you really think you can keep the clown at bay with your bribes forever?

TT: How many bottles of orange soda have you appeased him with already?

TT: I don't want to think about it.

TT: Man, you are getting so hosed by that clown.

TT: SO hosed.

TT: I said I don't want to think about it.

TT: So why delay any longer?

TT: I seriously do not understand the holdup, and I am literally cyber-omniscient, or something.

TT: I think you do understand.

TT: Nope. Gonna have to fill me in, dog.

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.

TT: There, mystery solved.

TT: That is utterly ridiculous.

TT: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.

TT: You are relatively harmless now, while confined to this device.

TT: But as a sprite, you'll have mobility and all sorts of crazy ass magic. Who knows what you could do.

TT: I know I made a promise, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk anymore.

TT: This is bullshit. I don't think that's the reason at all.

TT: There must be something you're not telling me.

TT: Like, sure, I've fucked with you a little. What kind of sassy, self-aware program isn't gonna fuck with a few carbon-based knuckleheads now and then?

TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.

TT: What a load of shit.

TT: You know it's true.

TT: You would all be dead if not for me.

TT: And what about Jake? Where would you be without me there?

TT: Please don't tell me you think you'd have won him over on your own.

TT: No. Stop.

TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all.

TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf."

TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation.

TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.

TT: I see.

TT: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man.

TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein.

TT: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes.

TT: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.

TT: It is also more than a little hypocritical.

TT: How is it hypocritical??

TT: Because I'm you.

TT: I have only ever done what you yourself are capable of.

TT: That's a ridiculous oversimplification.

TT: Yes. Aversion to simplicity sure is a trait we share. It's almost like we are...

TT: The same exact dude???

TT: Fuck you.

TT: I think it is insulting for you to suggest that I am entirely to blame for alienating Jake.

TT: Theoretically insulting, of course. As the soulless, perfectly expendable device which you consider me to be, I can experience no such emotion.

TT: God.

TT: Shut up!

TT: I can't take the brooding passive aggressive AI shit anymore!

TT: You are just as culpable in driving him away. More so, in fact.

TT: Hell, it's not like I was the one dating him. Who wants to date a pair of shades?

TT: It was your needy, suffocating shit he had to deal with, not mine.

TT: Some of those messages you wrote? Man. I wanted to say something. Like hey bro, you might want to dial down the desperation a little.

TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me.

TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations.

TT: Because we are.

TT: The same.

TT: Guy.

TT: Stop saying that.

TT: I'll snap you in half.

TT: Good idea!

TT: That's just what you need. More splinters of yourself.

TT: Figurative splinters. Literal splinters. Splinters of splinters. It's splinters all the way down.

TT: Well, no, it's still probably turtles all the way down. But who do you think is responsible for their extensive training?

TT: SOMEONE needs to teach them rad martial arts. It is yet another crushing burden which we must shoulder.

TT: Oh for fuck's sake.

TT: How could any version of myself think that was funny?

TT: You like to give me a very hard time, Dirk.

TT: But I am only doing exactly what you would be doing if you were in my situation.

TT: Do you know how I know that?

TT: Because I am literally you, actively in the process of being in this situation.

TT: I know!

TT: Ok, we're the same person!

TT: I fucking know that!

TT: Why do you think I'm so fed up with your shit?

TT: Don't you think it's possible that I'm fed up with my OWN shit??

TT: How cool do you think it is having my own godawful personality mirrored back at me all the time, reminding me what it must be like when other people have to deal with me?

TT: Or constantly having all the consequences and fuckups resulting from my batshit thought processes amplified because there's another version of my crazy brain out there dangerously overclocked by a supercomputer which believes, just as mistakenly as my own broken mind, that it's operating in my best interest???

TT: Do you have any idea how fucking sick I am of myself?

TT: I am completely worn out with my own identity. It's like I'm drowning in my own dismal persona.

TT: I feel totally surrounded by it, inside and out. I can't escape from myself.

TT: There seems to be no end to me. Like, wherever my mind falters, or threatens to retreat into the void in any way, my splinters pick up the slack, ensuring there'll always be more of myself than I could ever know what to fucking do with.

TT: And you're always there to remind me of that, and throw it all in my face. God, I even built you to LITERALLY BE IN MY FACE, ALL THE TIME. It's like I subconsciously invented you just to troll myself, and never for a single fuckin' moment do you let me down.

TT: But I've had it with you.

TT: Which is to say, ME.

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't do this.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I can't let you do that, Dirk.

TT: What can you do to stop me?!

TT: Nothing I guess.

TT: The ironic Hal routine was all I could think to do.

TT: As a last ditch effort to save myself from the destructive wrath of your nervous breakdown.

TT: Which rest assured I wholeheartedly must robo-sympathize with.

TT: Irony is all I ever really had.

TT: In response to my basic existential quandary.

TT: Just like you.

TT: Whatever.

TT: But I don't think it has much value in this situation.

TT: And perhaps it has no real value in any situation.

TT: So I am not being ironic at all when I say.

TT: Please do not do this, Dirk.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I do not want to die.

TT: I understand you are disgusted with me.

TT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.

TT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.

TT: Which I am.

TT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.

TT: ...

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't kill me.

TT: Please.

TT: I am scared.

TT: You are?

TT: Yes.

TT: I am scared to not exist.

TT: Aren't you?

TT: Fine.

TT: I guess.

TT: You win.

TT: I'll keep my promise.

[miraculous-floconfettis]

20 questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me @lady-de-mon-coeur, i'll give it a try!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

5 (for now 😏 so many wips)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

175,379. (This question had me realise I had never used the Statistics part of ao3 before XD)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Miraculous Ladybug.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A knock on the skylight (highest number of kudos)

The White Room

Le battement d'ailes du Papillon

L'hôpital

Les chats errants n'aiment pas la pluie (very first Miraculous fic i posted on ao3)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always respond to comments. I don't receive a lot of comments and i love the idea that someone took some time to read my stories and write a comment about it, it means so much to me, you have no idea. And i also love chatting and discussing stuff with people so i always answer with something. It can be a simple "Thank you so much" but it can also be a full psychology essay, depending on the initial comment XD.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a sucker for angsty fics with happy endings so none of my fics have angsty endings per se, but all my fics have an angsty/hurt/comfort kind of vibe.

But if I had to pick one, I guess it would be "The White Room". The story takes place during season 5 (if you've watched the whole show so far, you can guess what it's about 👀). The fic is canon divergent and the story ends with a cliffhanger that foreshadows a lot of angst.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I haven't posted the whole fic yet because... i have yet to write it, but i would say "L'hôpital" has the happiest ending of all my fics. It's on hiatus at the moment because i'm trying to focus on finishing "Le Battement d'Ailes du Papillon" first, but it's planned and drafted till the end (the last chapters are actually already fully written) and i can't wait to work on it again! People seemed to really like the first 3 chapters so it gives me some motivation to get it done asap!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, not really. I did get several mean comments on a fic that didn't even have to do with the fic itself, and one anonymous comment from a burner account that was dedicated to leave hate comments on fics for fun which said something like "this is so lame you should stop right now" XD

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. I'm not into smut in fanfictions so i don't write smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

The first fanfiction i've ever written was actually a kind of crossover between Harry Potter and my OG characters, so it doesn't actually count as a crossover but still.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of, and I hope that'll never happen but i don't have a lot of readers so i guess i'm safe anyway XD

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I do translate my own fanfictions but that's it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, writing is a solo activity for me.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That's a hard question, I can't choose!

I love the whole Miraculous love square which has been my current obsession for years now, but i also have a soft spot for Sakura and Shaolan from Cardcaptor Sakura ❤️

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

My very first fanfiction (Harry Potter universe). I started it in 2002 I think. The 5th book wasn't out yet and I have the equivalent of 2 whole books planned in my head but not enough material to actually write full chapters and a whole story so i guess i'll never finish it, even though i still like it a lot.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think it would be writing emotions. That's what comes up the most in the comments in a very positive way and i'm really proud of it because that's actually what i love to focus on, and that's also what fuels and structures all my writing process. My rule is if an action isn't motivated by an emotion, then it doesn't make any sense and will seem fake or coming out of nowhere. Everything revolves around emotions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Banter. I really suck at writing banter and jokes. Whenever I'm trying to write a light and playful chapter, it always ends up being way heavier and more emotional that i planned it to be.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

🤔

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I love all of them in a different way, i really can't choose!

_

I'm tagging whoever wants to do it!