#i guess people don't like that he doesn't want to leave and tries to succeed here (which is currently working semi-well)

[pedripics]

I have a question: Why don’t people like and, in a way, hate Ferran? I know the number one reason is obviously his performance, but some also mention his personality and character. Personally, I don’t know… As a player, he doesn’t impress me either.

i have absolutely nothing against him as a person, so i don't know. he seems like a genuinely nice guy off the pitch. he annoys me a lot on the pitch sometimes (even though he does occasionally have his moments, i just wish he had them a lot more regularly)

[asksythe]

I want to write an LB6 Oberon x Gudako x PHH Vortigern story.

The other day, I told @erimies that I wanted to try my hand at writing a dark romance story.

I don't often write romance, and even when I do, I view it less as shipping and romance and more as the continuation of characterization. So, if I feel this is how this character would behave or potentially change in a certain direction, I would follow that logic to its conclusion no matter how I personally feel about it.

But the thing is... despite how Oberon Vortigern would like to portray himself, I don't personally think of him as a truly evil kind of character. You see it in the way he conducts himself in canon LB6. There was a lot of things he didn't have to do, but he did (like teaching young Castoria and giving her a short time of respite from her loneliness and ostracization).

There were also a lot of things he could have done were he truly evil, but he never did. I'm talking about his relationship with Riri during the early part of the Lostbelt. Almost every night in the early part of the story, they were alone with each other. Almost every night. Whether it was him climbing in through the window of her room in Mike's tavern, or when he sent Castoria away to gather woods or create a bounded field, leaving him to sit alone with Riri by the fireside. They didn't do anything. They just talked.

I don't think it's possible to overstate how emotionally vulnerable Riri was at that time before she met Mash again in Norwich. Someone as smart and socially savvy as Oberon should have been able to twist Riri's heart and mind like a pretzel in that situation. He might not have been able to pull the wools over her eyes for long, but he absolutely could have done devastating damage or primed her in a way that would benefit him more. I'm fairly sure there are some kinky hentai doujins out there that explored this very scenario. But the fact that Oberon never even tried spoke volume.

Then there's his wet sock of a fight at the end of LB6. Like, sir, can you be more half-assed in your big villain speech and fight?

Summer 2023 on JP server more or less cinched the deal. Oberon is just... a wet cat... and really really really (embarrassingly) down bad for Riri.

Hah!

My point is, I don't think regular Oberon cuts it for a truly dark romance kind of story. Not against someone whose heart is so resilient like Riri. So I thought of exploring the Vortigern side.

As it so happened, I acquired the novella Garden of Avalon, in which PHH Vortigern is featured as the villain.

Having read it, I... have thoughts. PHH Vortigern seems to exhibit the same kind of put-upon, enforced evil as LB Oberon. Again, his actions gave him away. He usurped his brother Uther's throne via violence... and yet let Uther go with his life and limbs fully in tact. And that's how we arrived at the canon Artoria, who is a dragon in human form... because Uther took one look at Vortigern's dragon aspect and thought. I would like me a big freakin gun just like that and he went on to do really skeevy-sounding human experimentation (via way of Merlin), resulting in Arotia....

...Bruh...

And people wonder why Artoria felt so inhuman as king... Well, if her purpose of existence was only to defeat Vortigern and never to succeed Uther as King, then it kinda makes sense, doesn't it?

Even when he was defeated, Vortigern still worried about the fate of the world and his own niece (in the usual tsundere snarky way).

Well, I guess Oberon really is an alternate version of PHH Vortigern. There's a good bit of similarities between them. Implied and not. In any case, that's where the PHH Vortigern x Riri comes in. Because I thought, there are things worth exploring here.

....

Nineveh 2461

... is the name I gave this story idea.

...

On the eve when the two brothers, splintered now in blood and heart, part from one another, the aggrieved people of Albion proclaim. 

We do not want to be fought over by either dragons or wyrms, for whichever one prevails, the little men will lose regardless. 

And so a plan is hatched alongside Uther’s dream to birth a dragon in human form. Is it not customary to proffer a greedy dragon with a virgin? A tribute shall be gifted to Vile King Vortigern, so that he would be sufficiently distracted and thus turn the worst of his evils from them. This shall be no ordinary virgin. Nothing that the Vile King himself could clutch from the populace. 

No. 

This one shall be crafted to specifications. A vessel shall be made. A ritual shall be enacted to call forth that which he desires but may not touch. 

One who can withstand his savagery. One whose burning hurt will endure even the Vile King’s frozen embrace. 

...

Ritsuka is summoned into a ‘vessel’ during the Arthurian cycle in PHH, singularity style!

Core story is a flip on the classical wicked dragon and imprisoned princess tale. 

An exploration of what book Vortigern means by a ‘dark paradise where humans cannot step foot on.’

It’s less that Ritsuka is imprisoned and more that she’s enjoying domestic life, taking care of cantankerous dragon man Vortigern.

This tragic, weirdly domestic romance is doomed because, regardless of how she feels, she has to resolve this singularity and return to Chaldea.

The climax is Ritsuka’s servants aiding the local Artoria and coming to her rescue. 

Oberon Vortigern is among the rescue team, spearheading it. 

Final battle involves Oberon Vortigern against himself. PHH Vortigern against a version of himself. 

[buccini555]

≡ Headcanons of what it would be like to be in a relationship with Takeomi (NSFW at the end)

⌕ H e a d c a n o n s !

♡...𝑭𝒕. Akashi Takeomi

♡ Takeomi is extremely needy at times, he likes it when you direct your attention only to him, he feels jealous but doesn't show it, since he knows you belong to him.

♡ He tries to be romantic, and often succeeds, even though he is extremely rude and arrogant with the other people he lives with, Takeomi is affectionate and behaves like a sly boy when he is with you.

♡ Takeomi likes to give you expensive gifts, he likes to flaunt jewelry and spend a lot of money on you, even more so when this flaunting is intended to show how powerful he is to other gang members.

♡ Despite having been very flirty in the past, he only keeps his eyes on you and, incredible as it may seem, he is faithful, he wouldn't trade you for anyone, Takeomi considers you as the most precious thing he can conquer, for that reason, he does anything to keep you by his side. (He loves you so much!)

♡ Takeomi always carries your purse or whatever, plus he opens the car door for you, buys you flowers in all their variety, roses, sunflowers, lilies or whatever you wish to have, besides jewelry, clothes, shoes and other luxury items.

⚠︎!! smut, mention of sex, blowjob, petnames (baby), sugardaddy, fetishes like: humiliation, suffocation, among others, mention of cigarettes, smoking, creampie and I guess that's it...

♡ Fast and deep, that's how he likes to fuck you, despite being big and considerably thick, he knows how to measure his strength so as not to hurt you, even if he likes to be violent sometimes, he wouldn't hurt you.

♡ "Cum for your fucking daddy, little dirty bitch" He loves to tell you that while he fucks you as fast as he can, Takeomi likes to hear you moan and makes sure you make enough noise so everyone knows he's fucking you, he really doesn't mind everyone hearing you.

♡ He gets extremely turned on when you give him a blowjob in the car, Takeomi makes you stick his dick up to his throat, after you make him come, he forces you to swallow it all by holding your face. "Isn't that what you wanted, stupid whore? Now suck it, I told you to suck!".

♡ He usually smokes cigarettes while you have sex, especially when you're sitting on him, it makes him extremely naughty, making him lose his pity for you and leaving you without feeling your legs for a few minutes after the act, plus he loves crempies so he doesn't mind cumming inside you, "You like it when I pour my "milk" on you, don't bitch? Say you like to see it dripping, baby".

♡ He is not usually romantic in these moments, he just wants to guarantee your pleasure and his, showering you with slaps, squeezing your neck, cursing you and being totally sadistic at times.

[binnylia]

OMG I FORFOT I HAD A TUMBLR ACCOUNT UHHHH

Inanimate Insanity thingy I guess-

Sane Siblings!

Sane Siblings is an II au? Characters? Idk what to call this???

MePhone4 was gonna make one of those double trouble episodes cartoons have when they're out of ideas, but he felt it was too unoriginal, so he scrapped it. After the season 2 finale, everything gets restored! And so do the scrapped siblings! MePhone4 sort of has to explain to all the contestants that they have siblings now! The only ones exempt from this are Yin-Yang, Salt and Pepper.

Lemonade: He's very sour. Literally. Piece of shit to everyone else.

Envelope: He tries his best to be good enough for his brother! He doesn't understand why his brother seems to ask so many questions about him though, they grew up together anyway!

Burrito: Unaware of everything Taco's done and how she feels about herself. He tries to see the good in her, and dislikes the fact almost everyone on the show seems to distrust her.

Megaphone: Acts as a mother figure to Microphone, but took pity on Taco and basically adopted her too. Very loud, can't turn it down like her sister.

Blade/Pocket Knife (I DONT KNOW WHAT THOSE THINGS ARE CALLED-): Most cunty queen ever.

Cucumber: Very cagey around Taco, she's watched the show... atleast the first season, she stopped watching after that. Confused as to why Pickle seems nervous around her.

Laptop Bag: Glad to help! Giddy even! ...she's gonna mess up. But she'll atleast try to help!

Conical Flask: Acts as more of the stereotypical "shy girl that rarely speaks" type. But don't be confused, she's just as smart as Test Tube!

Fan: ...not much to say about him. Goofy as hell.

Soap Bar: The emo older sister of Soap. Soap gets very annoyed, as Soap Bar leaves some sort of residue everywhere she sits.

Chest: Chest. Okay but actually, it's just actually an inanimate object. He is not a corpse, MePhone4 just thought it'd be funny for the episode, as when he thought it up Box was still sort of dead.

Palette: The peacemaker! Although she seems to annoy Paintbrush even more when she tries to calm them down. She succeeds at almost everyone else though!

Flashlight: Less of an autistic dumbass, but their special interest is secretly screwdrivers. Don't let them go on for too long though! They could talk about screwdrivers for hours!

Tissue Packet: Also has the CondishAWn! But they actually just quarantine themselves instead of infecting people like Tissues.

Ice Cream: The cherry on top (get it) of the Cherries! Doesn't like heat, at all. So fires a no go! They just stay in the walk-in freezer all the time. Although they give people scares every time someone wants to get food from the freezer.

Green Apple: Just sort of sad most of the time. Although she's very bitter sometimes.

Hot Chocolate: He is very sweet (ba-dum-tsh) to everyone around him! Although he seems to be very distrustful of Bow.

Long Balloon: People trust him more than Balloon, but he tries to get them to trust Balloon. He still has faith in Balloon after all!

Cent: Self-conscious about his height. Blade doesn't help him much, she calls him shortass.

I have to make a part 2 to this post so uhh

Link to Part 2

[onwhatcaptain]

hi i didn’t know what Star Trek was until i came across your fic it’s so. Real. poor McCoy bruh nobody’s gonna know what he went through …I guess it’s not entirely gone, but still. He didn’t get the three socks metaphor.

YOU TRICKED ME. canon divergent LIEEE LIEEEE

The way you omit time travel as a tag is craaazyy (I love time travel) AND AND THE SUNMARY BEING

“About men who love each other” LIKE NOT TWO MEN but all THREE

I do have one question though. If McCoy said “tell him you missed him” and set up the holo night, then in the first timeline had McCoy already gone back at that point and failed?

Hi! So I saw your comment on AO3 (please forgive me if it takes a moment to reply, I have an enormous backlog of comments to get around to after I took a break when the fic ended!) and I knew I absolutely had to ask you these burning questions: how did you find my fic if you didn't know what Star Trek was? What inspired you to read it?

I am beyond thrilled that you enjoyed the story and so touched that you read it all the way through without having seen Star Trek, but I absolutely have to ask what the story behind this is if you're willing to share with me!

It's definitely still canon divergent in a sort of way! At least in my figurative and literal book if you know the episode that inspired this novel, it would definitely be considered divergent:) I wanted to keep things as spoiler-free as possible to retain the surprise and emotional weight of the story, so I made the decision early on to not tag where the plot or ending was going, which definitely threw a lot of people off! Sorry for the trickery!

I ADORE that you pointed out the summary. I was actually shocked when I was reading this ask, because it was absolutely intentional and a huge part of the foreshadowing, but you're the only reader to my knowledge that has consciously noticed that choice, and you haven't even seen Star Trek!! Amazing!! I have such a big smile on my face right now!

More below because I realize this is getting long already!

As for poor McCoy, it is truly tragic nobody will know what he went through. In Star Trek, a lot of fans (rightfully) emphasize the love between Kirk and Spock, which I feel is only kept alive because of McCoy's quiet love for them both in the background as he takes care of them. In a way, it's a tribute to love that goes unnoticed, unseen.

With regards to your question, it's a great question! And I don't have a perfect answer for it, because it's entirely paradoxical. The first half of the story can only happen if the second half happens, because Kirk and Spock would not act on their feelings without the existence of the holo night and McCoy's intervention. But in the original timeline, they still die even though McCoy's actions in the latter half of the novel seem to exist. It's totally circular. It's expounded on somewhat in Forever and a Day, where McCoy tries to make sense of the same question and concludes that even if he does succeed, they will still die.

McCoy tries not to think about the horrifying implications. The knowledge that no matter what he did, he could not undo their deaths. To live, they would always need to die.

This doesn't necessarily mean that McCoy has gone back before, but it raise some serious questions about metaphysics and leaves a lot unanswered, because the two events now cause each other, and they also contradict each other. I actually took a stab at explaining the metaphysics in way greater detail in the fic originally, but my beta reader (correctly) told me this would confuse readers. So because it's confusing, I later just wave my sci-fi authorial wand to try and convince you to go along with it! :)

"And I like how the paradox makes no sense.” “I reckon it’s not meant to. They never do."

I do have to say, I recommend giving Star Trek a watch if you were interested! I think it's an amazing show. Again, thank you so much for taking the time to read a whole novel about a show you had no idea about!!

[foster-the-world]

Onward and Upward

Last day of school. Onward to 3rd grade, 2nd grade and 4K. Can't believe she's going to be a "big kid" in the 3rd grade. They grow up so fast, its goes too fast, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.

They were happy this morning. Certainly no learning will take place today. Bee's teachers is bringing her 9 and 13yo. Bee loves, loves, loves the 13yo. Our flight to my parents house is 8pm tonight. Got an email that we could change for free due to bad weather. It looks like maybe the storm is coming in later. Fingers crossed.

The girls had their awards ceremony last week. Disappointingly 2nd grade only did "you completed 2nd grade" awards for everyone. Lame. 1st grade had individual awards but they were generic - leadership, academic excellence. Rebel won both big awards because she's a teachers pet type. I had to miss because I don't have vacation hours at work. My husband said all of the kids were really excited for each other. I loved, loved Bee's teachers awards last year. Every kid got two very specific awards. They were very, very sweet and captured each kid beautifully. The kids tried to guess who she was talking about and they were 100% correct because the teacher really understood each kid so well. I had tears in my eyes. One of my favorite things is to see my kids being known and loved by other people. I wondered if it would be less so with a kid who has much more challenging behaviors. But nope. Baby boy was very well loved and known this year also. His teacher sent me a long text message about how much she is going to "miss her boy." She also sent a ton of pictures that capture him really well. Bee wrote "You are a great teacher. You treated me like family" in her teacher's card. So sweet. Teachers gifts sent off (flowers + gift cards). Feeling relieved to have all of the end of school year stuff over with.

I'm enjoying Clair Lombardo's books. I got a bunch of new books for baby boy on hold at the library. Found some about personal space. He's more of a crasher into other people so I'm not sure it will translate but let's see. His social skills class finished yesterday. If insurance paid we would keep sending him but I don't think its worth the steep price for what he got out of it. He understands social rules he just doesn't always follow them. They have a summer camp - nice to know for future reference.

The ADHD parent coach has given us some good suggestions we are trying out. We mentioned taking him to stores is difficult. He wants to run around and touch everything. I think it would work better in the suburbs where they have carts. In NYC we try to hold his hand while holding all of our purchases. Stores are smaller so less space for him. Anyway, he suggested we try it when we don't actually need to buy anything. That way we have time to set rules for him (stay near us, don't touch everything) and can leave if he's not following through. We are also going to put him in charge of finding one item. He can then buy/keep the item if he follows all of the rules. He gets three warnings. Normally we only take him when we have to buy something so we can't follow through with the threat of leaving if he doesn't listen. Not sure why we didn't think of this before. Fingers crossed some practice will help him/us out.

His sitter said he is interested in reading the pamphlets/how to's from the ADHD parent coach. Which is appreciated. Once again thankful to have so many people who want my kid to succeed.

His sitter owns a backpack company. Such a cool idea. They are really high quality: https://shiftbackpacks.com/ I'm really hoping they go viral at some point. I suggested he try to get in the NYC private school circuit. Those rich people have money and are all about letting their kids express their emotions.

Bought my husband (and I) tickets to Sturgill Simpson in October for his Birthday. Birthday present done and I get to see a concert = yes, please.

[adozentothedawn]

Fic Wrap-Up Meme: 2024

I saw this and I actually did some writing again this year so hell yes, I'm doing it. Thank you @dragonologist-phd for the template! (Also anyone inspired feel free to consider yourselves tagged.)

FANDOMS: Rogue Trader (That was this year?? Damn), Pillars of Eternity, Dishonored. Just. So much Dishonored. 3 FANFICS WITH THE MOST KUDOS IN 2024 -

Magnetism (17)

It starts out small. The group of kids congregating around him as he shows off his skills. (Honestly this is kind of hilarious considering I wrote the entirety of it in 15 minutes on discord. I only posted on ao3 because people on tumblr seemed to like it so I thought why not, it works as a drabble.)

The Many Meetings of Death and Death (16)

Daud is a wreck. Corvo is a player avatar. Neither of them is happy about it. Well maybe the Outsider is. (Corvo is living the worst fucking groundhog day ever and Daud doesn't know but is confused. Also sometimes dead.)

From a Friend (13)

Corvo Attano, disgraced Royal Protector, has been in Coldridge for three months. Three months of enduring torture and his own all consuming guilt as he tries to simply stay alive. As the days are drowned in pain and anguish there is one thing he is forced to acknoweledge. Someone is sneaking him food. Hadria Granville meanwhile, ten years old and now abandoned at a foreign court, is terrified but determined to help. (The thing that jumpstarted my mildly manic Dishonored wiriting. I wrote this in 3 days which is insane considering my normal writing speed. But yeah man, Hadria just wanted to get involved i guess.)

The Words We Speak (13)

Corvo finds Jessamine's letter to Emily. (What it says on the tin. Corvo is just so fucking sad, man.)

FAVORITE OPENING LINE FROM A FIC IN 2024 -

I kinda have to go with "Daud is a Wreck." (The Many Meetings of Death and Death) considering that I used it 3 times for the chapter and will use it a fourth time before the year is over.

FAVORITE CLOSING LINE FROM A FIC IN 2024 -

Gonna nominate three for that actually, two depressing and one wholesome:

He never learns that the worst injury sustained by the Whalers is a broken ankle from falling out of a transversal when the bond breaks. - The Many Meetings of Death and Death chapter 3

The children slept, the adults did not, the warm fireplace threw flickering shadows on the wall, and for a while happiness reigned in Dunwall Tower. - The Height of Friendship

You have to succeed, so you don't care, you don't think, you don't feel, you simply stay silent and unseen, a shadow haunting the Tower, a ghost of past happiness who would suffocate the lies now living where your heart used to be. - The Words We Speak

FIC I’M MOST PROUD OF IN 2024 -

Man thats hard. I guess I'll say The Many Meetings of Death and Death? Mostly cause its a multi chapter fic and I am so close to actually finishing it, which is special for me. I do like the The Many Conquests of Daud though, I need to do more explicitely ace stories. I will defend this canonically ace character with my life, i need to fill this tag more.

NEW THINGS I HAVE TRIED IN 2024 -

Dishonored fanfic. Other than that like I said I finally started doing another proper multi chapter fic that I am not leaving out to dry like my poor Readceras children who have been waiting for like four years for an update, oops.

GOALS FOR 2025 -

I will continue writing Dishonored fic. Probably for 2 at this point then. Also I really need to write the second half of that two parter I started (They Had to Die) which I absolutely will do I'm just not sure if I can do it this year still. At latest in january I should be done, I was just bewitched by the existence of Daud.

I also, as stated, need to fill up the ace Daud tag, it is my holy calling, there's not nearly enough in there.

[anotherfanaccount]

A long (spoilers included) review of Dunki.

Because I think I should just write it all out.

Starts with classic Hirani flavour. A main character on a wheelchair plotting an escape. And they succeed. Mannu runs away to meet her lawyer to ask about her visa condition. The answer is negative but she's desperate to be back home now. So comes the names of Hardy, a guy who she hasn't met in 25 years now.

Cue Hardayal Singh Dhillon, in all his greys and old age cramps running a race and also winning it but well a call from Mannu, who cares about a damn race. He answers no I'm not coming to get you and she smiles saying 'kand' ho gaya hai. And how can the 'Banda' refuse.

This was the introduction of a tale so simple, yet so real. Why do people leave their homes? The homes even with the poverty still has the warmth and love. But what could be more glaring than poverty for unemployed youth. Sometimes it's heartbreaking love, a love so powerful that people decide to end themselves instead of trying to survive through. That's Sukhi and Jassi's subplot, which only propels Hardy to decide on the donkey route, a decision that'll change all their lives forever.

And so starts the dunki, shown very aesthetically if I might say the horrors and the dangers. But you know your leads survive so you hold on. They wade underwater, scared and tired. They hide in freezers, cold. They walk through the desert among skeletons and evilness. Mannu has a cathartic experience here. And you wonder what exactly is the point of going through all this trouble without any guarantee. But they manage to reach their destination.

And now awaits another horror. Immigrants are looked down upon. They aren't humans in the eye of the citizens and don't get the dignity to live like humans either. Toiling through odd jobs, sending fake pictures to assure their families and to give them a better life is their only cause now. But Hardy doesn't have any of that. He's there for Mannu, so he starts the point of going back. But necessity is larger than lives for some people.

So they get caught and the rest seek asylum but Hardy can't lie, won't lie that it was his country that's unsafe for him. So he's sent back.

Fascinatingly dark that deported people get to travel safely back to the places they tried so hard to escape. It's along the same line as punishing people attempting suicide. This helps no-one.

Anyway 25 years pass offscreen. We get to know in passing that the families back home are doing well enough but our 3 asylum seekers are not getting the visa to return home. But trust Hardy, he can do it.

And Hardy does, with a bit of cunning and so much old man charm, the old man does it for his Mannu. But Mannu is dying. And ah well. What beats a tragic love story.

What beats a movie with so much heart and love and pain underlying the humour and constant laughter.

You just end up sitting a bit longer in the theatre and hoping to gather your thoughts because there's so much and yet there's this numbness. Is it because you saw the best movie, maybe. There's no best movie as per me honestly. Is it because this topic is way too real but so far from your reality that it shocks you a bit more. Is it because you love the man frontlining these moving images and you can see no fault.

Honestly I don't even want to conclude. If I could I would like to hug Sukhi right after the phone call, and Hardy after the court and at the terrace. But I'm guessing Hardy will be fine. Wo sambhal lega apne ko. Mannu I hope you had happy moments, even if they were the bare minimum.

[plutobutartsy]

What songs make you think of briar, nate, and Evie?

ohhh that's a great question!! i narrowed it down to 3 each but they're all fairly angsty, my bad 😭

also this ended up bein a lot longer than i intended fcf

Briar

Are You Satisfied? by Marina

[High achiever, don't you see? / Baby, nothing comes for free / They say I'm a control freak / Driven by a greed to succeed || It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide / And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die]

this one is pretty self-explanatory; he's an overachiever and a perfectionist and pushes people away so 1. they don't see his flaws and 2. he can focus on becoming the best™

ILYIS pt. 2 by Mel Bryant & The Mercy Makers

[I love you, you're so selfless / I'm sorry, I'm so selfish / I love that you're so gentle / And I'm sorry I'm so hellish]

the best way to push people away is to mistreat them in some way, shape or form and Briar knows this. unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from feeling incredibly guilty about it. and then he feels guilty about feeling guilty because he chose this, so he has no right to be unhappy about it, right?

Alien Blues by Vundabar

[I need to purge my urges, / Shame, shame, shame / I need an alibi to justify, / Somebody to blame]

this one applies in two ways. for one, it's very much about his eating disorder and the shame he feels around his need to feed. but it's also about how he hides who he really is in order to project this image of perfection.

Nate

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber

[Tears falling down at the party / Saddest little baby in the room / Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started / I get a little grey hair for every scare you share]

allthough they wear this cheery mask, if you look closely enough you can see that Nate is pretty much always sad. no matter how many people he has around him, he's always the saddest and most lonely person in the room! :D

Fifteen Minutes by Mike Krol

[What if I told you that the world was gonna end / And you had fifteen minutes to spend with me or your friends? / I guess we don't even need to use the phone / I don't need your answer, I'll be spending it alone]

since he does his best to shut off all of his feelings, all his relationships are veryyy surface-level. Nate is convinced that they'll never be anybody's favourite person or first choice.

i'm your man by mitski

[So, when you leave me, I should die / I deserve it, don't I? || One day, you'll figure me out / I'll meet judgement by the hounds || You believe me like a god / I betray you like a man]

oh he feels so so guilty for this fake persona he's putting on. they think they're unlovable (like their father) and like they're deceiving everybody atound them, tricking them into liking him.

also dog mention 🐺🐺🐺

Evie

Shame by mitski

[I never was very good / I haven’t been so good / But right outside the door nobody knows / They’re right outside the door and they don’t know how it / Feels so good] alright, so i've already established that Evie feels a lot of shame surrounding, well, everything. she feels like she's just so incredibly average at everything she does, no matter how hard she tries. she also feels incredibly guilty and ashamed over how she knocks others down to climb the social latter. the last two verses relate to her specifically in regards to her self harm :).

summer depression by girl in red

[Pretty face with pretty bad dreams / No one knows I cry in my sleep / Waking up feeling like shit / It's a normal thing to feel like this]

honestly, this whole song is Evie all year around but summer is similar to her birthday in the sense that she's painfully aware that she should be doing things with her friends like other people her age, except she has no friends. additionally, she does everything in her power to keep her depression from her family because she thinks she's "not sick enough". she's convinced herself that feeling awful 24/7 is normal, that everyone feels like this and she's just being a crybaby about it! yay :3

Lovefuck by Dream Nails

[You'll love and fuck / You'll love and fuck and love again / Your world is growing bigger every day / I know you don't believe me]

ending this on a hopeful note! this is very much Evie once her mental health gets better and she realizes that life isn't so bad and that she still has all the time in the world to find happiness :D

[halfeaten-mantou]

🧁 old-fashioned YanShen cupcake | Chapter 4/10 | ao3

The pancakes arrive. To Yan Wushi’s untrained tastebuds, they taste okay—just very, very sweet.

Also very sweetly, Yan Wushi gets treated to a free veggie smoothie from his subordinate.

(Thanks to the contract, Yan Wushi tries his best again to get the hang of being like a schoolgirl over the next few weeks. He succeeds at almost everything, maybe except the sugary food.

Shen Qiao worries about his boss's impending fate of either diabetes, or a glucose overdose.

In the end, Yan Wushi doesn't develop diabetes, but he does develop...something else.)

(Continue reading here or under the cut!)

The pancakes were okay—not bad, but definitely way too sweet for Yan Wushi's tastebuds. On the other hand, Shen Qiao was eating them so deliciously that Yan Wushi thinks, with some mirth, that he really should have given his own portion to him.

"Seems like you really weren't lying when you said you didn't dislike pancakes." The small lilt in Yan Wushi's voice carries a tinge of mirth at the unexpected fact, but Shen Qiao is unaffected, and instead earnest in response.

"I certainly don't dislike pancakes. I've always preferred food of the sweet variety, compared to savoury," is Shen Qiao's straightforward answer. "How about you, Mr Yan? You seemed to struggle a little. Are you okay?"

"Needed two cups of black coffee to get them down, but I guess I'll be fine with some practice." Yan Wushi chuckles. "Which brings us to our next topic—what fun things should we do next week?"

"I don't know much about having fun, but I can do a bit of research after today to gather what people usually think of as 'having fun'." Shen Qiao is silent in thought for a moment. "Maybe you can also think about what inspired you to have this idea in the first place. What gave you this idea? Sometimes, revisiting the source of the idea may give birth to more ideas."

Wushi resists the urge to poke fun at the overly-serious but sincere Shen Qiao in front of him—this sort of interaction is way too precious; the initially-reticent Shen Qiao seems to finally be cracking open his shell, even initiating conversational topics now. Yan Wushi decides that maybe it'd be wise to continue holding back on the teasing a little.

"What inspired me…" Yan Wushi strokes his chin, thinking seriously for a moment before he remembers the answer—simultaneously simple but cringey.

"Schoolgirls."

"Schoolgirls…?" Shen Qiao's brows furrow in confusion.

"Yes, schoolgirls, and no, not in a horrible indecent way." Yan Wushi rushes to clarify on seeing Shen Qiao's expression—Shen Qiao must have gotten wind of some horrible indecent untrue rumours again. "Don't worry, I was talking about schoolgirls on the morning news."

"Don't worry either, Mr Yan." Shen Qiao laughs a little at Wushi's uncharacteristic frustration. "I wasn't thinking of any horrible indecent things. I just never expected young girls to inspire such a rich and powerful conglomerate like you."

"Haha, good. Anyway, what I mean is I just saw schoolgirls eating pancakes on TV and started thinking how deprived us old uncles are, compared to them." Yan Wushi sighs. "Can't believe a fifty-year-old wise guy like me actually wants to try doing schoolgirl things."

Aptly enough, two young women walk past, giggling as they chat happily and drink their beverages. Behind them is a fruit smoothie stall, and as Shen Qiao's eyes brush past it, a lightbulb lights up in his head.

"Give me five minutes, Mr Yan." Shen Qiao turns and walks towards the smoothie stall, leaving Wushi in some confusion—is he thirsty?

Turns out it wasn't that Shen Qiao was thirsty, because he places the green frothy drink he’d just bought into Yan Wushi's hands instead.

"If you're sincerely wishing to learn from the schoolgirls on what to do to have fun, it is only right that you emulate their actions precisely." Shen Qiao's voice is somewhat sagely as he says this—almost reminiscent of an old Taoist priest, an ironic contrast to his youthful appearance…as well as the slightly disconcerting contents of his sentence. "Also, I have heard from television programmes that vegetable juice is good for anti-aging purposes. In another perspective, your mission to have fun can also be viewed as a type of 'anti-aging therapy'. Mr Yan, please take your medicine."

Yan Wushi doesn't know whether to laugh or cry—on one hand, he's overjoyed that Shen Qiao is not only reciprocating his silly proposal to do 'fun youthful things', but even going the extra mile, thinking of new ideas way beyond his job scope. On the other hand…it's sort of embarrassing, hearing someone articulate all this age-related jazz out loud for you.

He takes a sip of the green thing, bracing himself a bit in case it tastes like alien blood. Unexpectedly, it's absolutely fantastic.

"Whoa, never thought vegetables tasted so good in liquid form," Wushi marvels. "Even fifty-year-olds learn something new every day."

"That's right. Longstanding neuroscientific research has already proven that the human brain is well-equipped with the capacity to learn something adaptive everyday, anatomical age notwithstanding. And consuming vegetables is good—good for the body, and good for the environment." Shen Qiao smiles, and it's all warm and sweet and caring, and despite the weird professor-like stuff he’s saying about human brains and eating vegetables, Yan Wushi is feeling rejuvenated—both by the green drink, and by the man in green.

He also realises that said man in green didn't actually get a green drink for himself, so he pushes the drink into his hands and the straw into his mouth.

Shen Qiao looks at him, confused.

"You don't have a drink. That's unfair, right?"

"I'm not thirsty." He removes his mouth from the straw.

"What, you're saliva-conscious?"

"No, it's not that." Shen Qiao's face starts turning slightly pink, but as if to prove himself, he takes a sip. "You're right, it's good."

"Good, right? Drink half."

Just then, the taxi Yan Wushi has ordered arrives, and he walks off to accost the car, leaving a surprised Shen Qiao in his wake, wondering why his boss seems like a different person from how he'd treated him the first two days when they'd first met, as well as how he's been rumoured to be.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next Friday night, Shen Qiao receives a short text message with a Google Maps link.

The location for your next overtime assignment. See you there tomorrow at 10.

He clicks, and it's a shop selling ice cream on crepes. It looks delicious, but he remembers that Mr Yan already could not handle the pancakes previously, and he's wondering if his boss might be forcing himself to ingest things in the name of schoolgirl emulation.

He’s feeling rather impressed at his boss's sense of mission.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Friday nights later, Shen Qiao receives the next job location with a Google Maps link.

The crepes last week were very enjoyable; he'd gotten matcha ice cream topped with sweet Japanese red beans, while Mr Yan had gotten the standard Neapolitan chocolate, strawberry and vanilla cream. He'd eaten them very deliciously, but his boss not so much—he was struggling to finish them, looking a little green as he did.

This time, it's a waffle joint famous for chocolate-coated Belgian waffles and homemade whipped cream.

Sense of mission aside, he starts to worry if his boss might be pushing himself too far.

Three Friday nights later, Shen Qiao receives the expected text message. He clicks, and it's a shop selling 'sugoi-kawaii', 'super-Instagrammable', skyscraper-tall chocolate mint parfaits.

The boss hadn't lasted very long into his waffle before he started cringing.

The waffle was a small, short square. In comparison, their next mission is…a mountain that Shen Qiao doesn’t think his boss can scale.

Seems like the boss has really decided to challenge himself this time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"…are you really sure you want to go ahead with the parfaits, Mr Yan?" Shen Qiao queries, brows knitted in concern. "I noticed that you’ve been finding only sugary places to visit, even though you did say that you much prefer savoury food."

"I ran out of ideas," is Yan Wushi's slightly sheepish response. "Also, I thought you might appreciate them since you like sweet things."

(Yan Wushi doesn’t tell him, but it’s really more of the second reason.)

Shen Qiao is slightly silent—his facial expression is a mix of shock and worry. He's also looking somewhat apologetic.

"…Mr Yan, I'm sure you're getting something wrong here. We're not here to help me have fun. We're here to help you have fun." He leans slightly forward onto the bistro table, looking extremely serious. "And we're here to help you have fun. Not torture you. I’m sure we can find many ways to 'have fun' that don't involve sugar.”

Hearing this, Yan Wushi feels…somewhat conflicted. Yes, he's weak against things which are too sweet. But the past few Saturdays were actually pleasantly spent despite the potential for diabetes—watching Shen Qiao eat sweets happily; living vicariously via the way his eyes light up when he delicately spoons small mouthfuls of dessert in the neatest yet most delicious manner…

...and perhaps he doesn’t even know it himself yet, but if he’d been any more aware of the feelings brewing in his gut, he'd realise that he’d gladly die of a glucose overdose.

"Aww. A-Qiao is caring for me." Wushi puts his head on his hands, grinning as he tilts his head to the side in an annoying gesture, though he's really just trying to divert the topic, really. Unfortunately, Shen Qiao's unfazed—he’s not buying the topic change.

"This needs to change, Mr Yan. If you're not opposed, I will take charge of the research on places to visit from now onwards, and try to include a varied mix of locations that are safe and healthy," Shen Qiao smiles. "And, good for anti-ageing purposes." The extra emphasis on the word is subtle, but Wushi hears it anyway.

"Ow," Wushi fake-grimaces, but he barely manages to suppress the grin escaping his face. "Never knew this A-Qiao had it in him to make fun of old folks."

Truth be told…Yan Wushi really does feel like he's been getting somewhere lately. For starters, he's managed to let Shen Qiao let his guard down and relax, at least a little. At least enough to make small banter, and to not recoil at being called affectionate nicknames like 'A-Qiao'. He wonders how he'd react if he now moves on to calling him 'my A-Qiao', like that time when he'd accidentally transgressed the boundaries.

Except that thought makes his own heart hurt a little, because any idiot with a brain would know that Shen Qiao isn't his.

These past few weeks have been fun, but he has had a nagging sense of discomfort about their current situation, and whether it was really appropriate. Yes, it's an official work contract that they'd both signed, and he was getting paid overtime plus getting fed, so he didn't have to feel all that bad about siphoning away Shen Qiao's time on Saturdays—but to be certain, was he in fact disrupting any of Shen Qiao's plans?

Specifically, Shen Qiao's date plans?

He'd overheard the office ladies talking about it the other day—about how Shen Qiao was "at the prime age to marry and start a family", and "definitely did not have to worry about getting a pretty and kind wife because he was such a good catch". He'd even overheard some of them making plans to set him up with their friends or children. And in this judgmental collectivistic society that is China, starting a family isn't just a personal issue—it is a concern that even outsiders find normal to pry their noses into, and gossip about endlessly, as if it were their own family they were talking about.

While Yan Wushi may be an asshole who's never thought of starting a family, he wasn't so much of an asshole that he'd literally prevent someone from starting a family—that would be some life-wrecking business. Yan Wushi is one to wreck businesses, but he isn't one to wreck lives.

And the irony is that all the ‘fun stuff’ they've been doing the entire time were exactly the things that couples do on dates. Wouldn't Shen Qiao feel way better to be doing all these cute things with a pretty and kind young lady? Wouldn’t it be better for his future—for the future he might want to build for himself, with a future spouse, and prospective future children?

Yan Wushi has rarely, if ever, been worried for other humans. In fact, he's always been renowned for causing worry for other humans. But now that this kind, pure soul has dropped into his life like a snowflake on a spring day, he gets his very first taste of this emotion. And it hasn't been the sweetest taste to experience.

The parfaits arrive, and he pushes his worries to the side for later—they've got other things to conquer at the moment; specifically, a skyscraper-tall parfait of strawberries and cream.

"You're right—I do need a bit of a sugar detox for the next few weeks." Yan Wushi admits to this, but he wasn't one to back down from a mission he'd decided to take on. "I’ll gladly take you up on that offer to stop with the sweets. But for now, our last sweet mission will be to eat these things, and before that…I think they said we're supposed to do something like take ‘wefies’ and put them on ‘Instagrammable’ or somewhere. The recommendation blog said it’s a waste to buy such expensive parfaits without posing with them…or something."

Shen Qiao laughs softly.

"What, did I say something wrong? Anyway, I think this is the most difficult challenge so far, because I'm so going to become the laughing stock of the century. Imagine me, an old man, taking a picture with a cherry-topped parfait." Yan Wushi facepalms—he hasn’t forgotten that everyone else exists around them.

All of a sudden, Shen Qiao whips out his own phone, turns to face the back, and lifts the phone into the air.

"3, 2, 1," Shen Qiao says, and Yan Wushi is caught like a deer in the headlights.

Before Wushi can process what's going on, Shen Qiao is appraising the wefie he'd just taken, nodding and smiling, visibly satisfied at the end product.

Yan Wushi is stunned—both at the proactive way Shen Qiao has willingly taken the lead to do silly things together with an old guy over the past weeks, and how happy he looks doing this now.

"…I can't believe you're willing to do all these silly kitschy things with me."

Shen Qiao looks at him blankly for a moment, and Yan Wushi starts regretting saying what he'd just said—strange, uncharacteristic things that may well make him retract his willingness. It is then that he sees the gaze in Shen Qiao's eyes—it's conviction, reminiscent of the time weeks ago they'd tried to topple more than five companies together, Yan Wushi for his own selfish interests and Shen Qiao for the good of the people.

But this time, this conviction to be good to people is directed at him, of all people. And Yan Wushi doesn't know what to feel—after all, he’s never been good to people, and naturally, people haven’t been good to him back.

He'd never expected that even at the ripe old age of fifty, meeting just one person could really catalyse a whole storm of new experiences.

"I'll be happy to help you achieve the happinesses you'd missed out on previously," Shen Qiao's voice is soft and firm as he smiles. "I'd meant it when I said that on the first day we signed the extra contract, and I still mean it now."

Yan Wushi wishes he deserved all of this.

All of this, and Shen Qiao.

>>>>> Continue to Chapter 5: tumblr | ao3 >>>>>>>

[theink-stainedfolk]

Trouble (Close To Him)

Everyone said... "He would bring you trouble" he was someone who I shouldn't be close with.

He entered the school on the day I wasn't present. On the day I had attempted to get rid of myself and my pains. The next day, I saw people staring at the boy seated in front of me, with his head down as his arms shielded it from the curious glares from the whole class. He had bandages on his arms and fingers.

"So similar yet so different" I thought as I gripped on my sleeve that hid my scars and walked to my desk quietly.

The teacher entered the class with a scowl on his face.

"Crazy wife, crazy kids and now I have to go through this crazy class!" I went through his mind. Guess he didn't have a good day at home. After a few minutes of teaching he noticed something.... Me..? Or so I thought... It was the boy in front of me.

"Mr. Rioz.... Mr. Rioz!..... ORION WINTRINGHAM RIOZ!!" even the people who weren't sleeping jolted from his loud voice. The boy... Tarquin, I suppose, lifted his head very slowly in a very relaxed manner.

"what?" he groggily asked.

"I suppose you were too busy with your 'business' yesterday. However, this doesn't mean that you will sleep in class... That is also mine! If you want to sleep, please get out and arrange another place for yourself, for this class is the place for people who wish to succeed in their life! " he said.

Orion got up with some books and a pen in his hand " Aight.... " and left the class leaving the students and the teacher speechless. The teacher took a deep breath and calmed his anger.

" At least, the problem is gone from here. " he said and continued teaching, but I couldn't focus ever since he left.

I suppose I shouldn't be getting close to him... Because he brings trouble....

He got detention 2 times a week since the first day I saw him. He talked back to Mrs. Mcgee. Which in my opinion he shouldn't have. And the second time was because he fought with the higher class student named Edmund Houston. He is the class vice president. But Orion claimed that Edmund insulted his family. But why would anyone even bother listening to the school's bad boy?

The school principal called me on a chilly Tuesday morning.

"Miss Raven Nunez. How are you?"

"G.. Good morning... S.. Sir... Wh... What have you.... You called me... Me here for?"

"I believe that mister Rioz is in your class?"

"Ye... Yes"

He intertwined his fingers together and sighed. "You must be very aware of his shenanigans. That boy is out of control."

"yo... You must be thi.... Thinking of me to gui... Guide him... Am I.... Am I right sir?"

"... Absolutely right..... But Raven dear... I'm not pressuring you into doing this. But please consider this. I can't think of anyone else other than you. You have good grades and you are really sweet and you don't get angry quickly. You even tamed Vania Dunn. And I know that you can do this too. "

But I can't speak.... I can't speak like a normal person and I have continuous break downs and suicidal tendencies.... How can I help someone when I can't help myself?

" I will think..... Will think about it.... "

" Thank you so much Raven. "

I walked out of the room. I bit my lips and dug my nails into the skin of my hand. I probably need to go to the washroom again.

I looked at my wrist, it had a fading scar. I took out the blade from my pocket with trembling hands. I gulped as I tried to calm myself down. "One last..... last time..... One last time." I whispered to myself as I pressed the cold blade on my skin and watched the warm blood dripping down my wrist. I sighed. But the loud bang of the washroom door opening caught me off guard and I hid my hands behind my back.

"Va.... Vania..." I smiled at her "I was searching for.... For you".

"And I knew that I'd find you here Ven." she said as she strode towards me.

"Why we.... Were you looking for... For me?" I nervously spoke.

"Show me." she said.

"Sh... Show what?"

"The blade...." I widened my eyes. How could she know that?

"What... Do you mean?"

"Cut it out Raven! I know what you were doing! Pull it out!"

I dropped the blade in front of her and showed her my hand. 'This girl..... I fucking swear to god I'll kill her before she does more harm to her body.' I went through her mind. She had her eyes closed and she tucked her bright red locks behind her ear. As her green eyes bore a hole on my head, I quickly looked away.

"Sit on the sink.." she said. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out bandages and medicines as I sat on the sink.

"God dammit...." she grumbled while applying the medicine on my hand "if it weren't for you I wouldn't have carried this extra load in my bag"

I stared at the floor. "So..... Sorry."

"For what exactly?"

"Fo... For making you wo.... worried..."

"Yes! You should apologize for making me worried! You should apologize for doing this to yourself and you should also apologize for thinking that you deserve all of this? What the hell makes you think that you do not deserve love like any other people?"

"But I do.... I don't.. Dad says that no.... Nobody would love a stuttering fool like..... Like me... And that I should be.... Be more like Jocelyn...."

"That bitch should be more like you! That s$#&!! Walking around the campus like she owns the school! And stupid boys following her around! Such dumb f#c&$!!"

"You shouldn't.... Shouldn't curse so much Vania.... It is no.... Not good for your health!"

"And bathing in one's blood is good for health?!"

She may be right..... Maybe I am the stupid one.... Maybe I am dangerous for myself. Suddenly, Vania gripped my shoulders tightly and sighed.

"Raven, you just need to be yourself. You don't need to live on other people's opinions and expectations. You know what's the best for you. Even if he doesn't love you, there are many people who do. I am your best friend for a reason. And it is because I found you amazing. And not the version that wants to be the best, but your real version. Your true self. I want you to realize how important you are. It doesn't matter how long it takes for you to realize it but one day..... I hope you do. Raven I can guarantee you that I can not find anyone better than you. I will never choose that Jocelyn bitch over you. "

I smiled at her. " Th... Thanks Vania.... It will... Will really help me.. "

'I hope it does.' she thought and helped me get down.

" Why did you come out of Mr. Castro's office? Did something happen? "

" It's nothing, He asked.... Asked me if I could help him gui..... Guide Orion. A classmate. Because he is.... Is a troublemaker and I technically ta... Tamed yo-"

"You did Not tame me! I just began seeing you as my best soulmate and I'm an untamed dragon flying freely in the sky nobody dares to-"

I chuckled at her words.

"Alright... How about you try and see.... If he is really out of control then you just drop him.. It's not like he will resent you for it." she said and stopped in front of my classroom. 

"What if..... If he does? If I can't do a work pro..... Properly, such a minor task, then won't..... Won't he think I'm use..... Useless?" I looked at my feet..... That's what everyone does. That's what 'he' does. I'm useless to him, Jocelyn is everything to him. He might as well kill me for being useless. 

" No." I can sense her glaring at me. " If you can't then you can't. Nobody can force you to do something that you can't. He asked you to do this and if you can't then drop it. And even if he does hate you then I'll kick him out of the school for eternity. "

"Okay. Thank.... Thank you Vania. See you tomorrow." I said and went inside the class and waited for the class to finish. I knew that the teachers would never ask me the questions. They don't have time to waste on me.... A stuttering fool.

Finally the school finished. 

Orion sat on his seat waiting for the detention teacher to come. His deep blue eyes were dull, his brown hair tousled and his freckled nose and cheek had bandages. Even though my heart was thumping loudly against my chest, I walked up to him. 

"He.... Hello...."  a shiver went up my spine as his dull blue eyes gazed at me. "Sir Castro asked me-"

"I know" he cut me off. "Old man told me this morning" his gaze went back on the black board in front of him. After a few minutes of silence I spoke

"My name..... Name is Raven Nunez. Nice to.... To meet you."

"Orion Wintringham Rioz....." silence filled the class once more.

The teacher entered the class

"Miss Nunez.. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I... I was just going out to see... See you later."

Before I went out, it went through his mind 'Mrs Mcgee was it.... I'll make sure she goes through hell along with me'

His words made me laugh.. I guess sometimes, the day gets better.

Weeks passed by, the scars on my hand increased. Vania tried to stop me. But I couldn't help it. Today I was at the library, with Orion. He was reading a poetry book. Which was very unlikely of him. And he asked me to tag along with him. Which was even more unlikely of him. Sir Castro said ever since I was assigned to him, he has changed. I don't know if he was saying this to motivate me or if he actually has changed. But come to think of it... He hasn't been going to detention lately. Nor has he been getting into fights, as the bandages that used to be on his face for like forever are nowhere to be seen now.

'It is so easy for me to love you that it frightens me. 

I've never been good at anything. 

But I've never wanted anything so much as 

I want to hold you' 

I get lost in the head of Orion . His voice was musical. With his brown hair and freckled face and when he puts his glasses on, he looks more like a sweet nerdy guy than the loner bad boy. Even though I admired him for being able to say no and being able to do whatever he wants regardless of the people's opinion, he would never like to be friend of a freak like me.

I tune back into his head and read along.

'every walking minute 

And every night while I sleep. 

The question has ceased to be 

"How do I love you?" ' 

Then he stops, looks me in the eye and finishes the last line. 

'and has become 

"How would I ever stop?"

Because the bond we hold is as unbreakable as the thoughts we share in the stubborn mind of ours.'

I stayed there in utter shock... My eyes widened as I tried to process what he just said to me. In my head I whisper. 

' Can you hear me?... '

He whispered back a faint 'yeah' with a small smile on his freckled face as if he was scared to answer. I don't know whether to feel embarrassed or to feel happy.... That I'm not alone in this world. All I could do was give him a smile and he smiled back. The silence around us was like a warm hug to me. I've never had a comforting silence in a while. 

I know I shouldn't be close to him because he brings trouble ..... But I can't help it..... I can't help but get close to him. I'd rather fight all my troubles along with him..... I'd rather be..... Close to him.... 

[aajjks]

To that anonymous coward who keeps pestering Alina and saying that she doesn't deserve Jungkook:

Listen up and listen well.

Do you think you deserve Jungkook, you asshole? If so, sorry to break it to you, but very few people do, and you're definitely not one of them. He deserves someone with a heart of gold just like him. He deserves someone that won't hurt other people's feelings, because he would certainly never do that intentionally. He deserves someone that knows how to keep their cool and stay chilled, instead of lashing out on the internet.

Imagine what Jungkook would think if he saw you pestering Alina. You should be ashamed of yourself. You sound like a spoiled brat whose mother didn't teach them manners. And if your mother tried teaching you manners, she clearly didn't succeed, so I pity her. (Sorry if you take that as an insult to your mother. I don't intend to stoop as low as you.)

What would Jungkook do in your situation, huh? If he saw something that he didn't like on the internet, he wouldn't be bothered by it. He would just keep scrolling and move on with his life. He doesn't care about his haters, to the point that he doesn't even bother to sue them. So why are you so bothered with a blog on Tumblr?

I'm sure you've heard about that person who spread false rumors and spoke shit about Taehyung. Yeah, well, they're sitting with a lawsuit on their hands and pleading for forgiveness at the moment. They were trying to be a big bad bully, but now they're probably sitting somewhere fearing for their life in the future because they don't want a criminal record to prevent them from studies and jobs. They tried to wreck someone else's reputation before considering the consequences on their own.

Alina might not sue you, although it would be entirely reasonable if she did. You totally deserve it at this point, after all you've said and done. You're hiding under the banner of anonymity, so she couldn't sue you even if she wanted to. Regardless, I wouldn't blame her if she did want to. Even if she had the chance to, and chose to show mercy on you for some weird but admirable reason, you're still heading down a similar destructive path with the attitude that you currently have. I suggest that you take some time to reflect on how you're affecting another person's life before something drastic happens in your life and you find yourself dealing with a legal case. Rather learn the easy way now, before life has to teach you the hard way. Learn now while you're just harassing some strangers on the internet, before your immaturity costs you in your real personal capacity.

It's going to come back to you in some form of karma, just try and minimize the severity of it while you still stand a chance. One day, you'll regret it. So start regretting it now and have some human decency to leave Alina alone and let her be. It's her blog. She can do what she wants to with it. Let her feel comfortable in her own space just like she's made us feel so welcome. Stop looking at her blog if it makes you frustrated.

If you're so hell bent on 'Alina not deserving Jungkook' and insisting that she 'deletes every trace of him off her blog,' then I'm guessing that you probably have some sort of obsession or possessiveness over the real Jungkook based on your obvious need to defend or protect him in your own psychotic way. If you don't find yourself emotionally attached to him (which I'd find hard to believe), then, surely you have some form of awareness about Jungkook. Not a fictional Jungkook. The real one that doesn't give a fuck. One that let's haters be and doesn't retaliate against him.

I'm not saying that Alina is a hater. She is not. She's an amazing, creative and caring soul that would be so sweet and nice to you if you didn't try to bring her down all the time. However, if for some reason, you see Alina as a hater in your opinion (which in my opinion, she is not), just take Jungkook's example and move on with your life.

Even if Alina were guilty of all the things you accuse her of like being a hater (which she's not), just move on with your life. Please. Thank you.

I hope you find peace or go fuck off. Either one will do. Whether you come around, change your attitude, join the party and actually participate and have fun on this blog, or whether you go cry and curl up in a hole with the guilt and embarrassment of what you've done, either one will do the trick. The job is done if you bid farewell to your current attitude. People have the capability to change, so rather change for the good, because surely you weren't born this bitter.

So, for whichever one you choose, good riddance or welcome to the family bitch!

Oh my goodness, you have no idea how happy I am right now at least some people are intelligent on this blog, let me clarify something because a lot of people are misunderstanding.

I do not hate him I can never. I guess that I used to have a crush on him and it was hard for me to deal with all of the changes but I’m slowly starting to get used to them and I’m trying my best because I know it is very immature of me to be behave like that and I’m ashamed of my behavior.

But this bitch keeps on bothering me. I fucking hate this anonymous bitch. There are obsessed with the idea of me being obsessed with him.

I shouldn’t have to clarify anything to anyone. This is so frustrating and trust me if I could sue this person I would I’m still looking for ways to do that though.

Maybe one day I’ll find something and teach them a good fucking lesson.

It’s really easy for people to hide behind anonymity and threaten others, it’s very very easy I could do that too. I mean I could just turn the anon button off and they would fuck off.

Which i choose not to do because I know a lot of people love to interact with me behind the protection of anonymity. But I do not like being lectured on how I should react to something.

I’m working on my flaws.

I love you so much. Thank you for taking our time for writing all of this and sending this to me. Your support means so much to me. I appreciate you so much. I’ll always remember this.

[saxandviolins77]

*spits water*

SOUNDWAVE WINNING? KICKBACK WITH ZERO VOTES? FREAKISH AND CONCERNING!

I'm starting to think y'all voted by fandom popularity and not by realistic standards.

So here's my honest opinion. I'm not the arbiter of truth when it comes to analyzing which character would be more fit to be a Twitch streamer and would HAVE SUCCESS in it.

What I personally think makes a streamer successful is personality, relatability, marketing strategy, and luck.

For me, streaming is unlike any other modern form of content production; it relies heavily on you and the streamer having an emotional connection (whether you notice or not), hence why many people talk about the quality of content a streamer has and say, "it's like talking to a friend." Also why so many people are prone to forming parasocial relationships with streamers. Yes, it happens to most big content creators, but streamers tend to have an environment that makes it so much more likely to happen. Ever seen Jerma's fanbase? Creeeepy. Of course, a streamer must have a little Mr.Beast living inside of them to know how to market themselves and to know if their stupid merchandise is going to sell. I'll spare you guys the "business" talk, but keep that in mind.

SO, TRANSFORMERS. WHO'S LIKELY TO SUCCEED AND WHO'S GOING TO FLOP?

FLOP

Starscream (21.9%) - One of those characters that got far because some people thought this was a popularity contest. Starscream is simply too grating for viewing; yes, negativity sells, but his lack of knowledge and uninterest in human culture would make it only possible for him to talk about personal nuisances. I guess it would be funny to see him ranting about how unfair it is that Megatron beat him up for merely carpet bombing his "honorable leader". Too self-centered. I also don't think anyone wants your homemade and overpriced Stanley cups with "Starscream, leader of the Decepticons" written on them, but that's just a personal opinion. I read someone say Starscream would do those sex-appeal female streams... If he did that, his already small viewer and subcount would plummet; remember, real world, the 2D robot is sexy/cute/handsome but in real life he is an alien robot with an unknowable number of uncountable metal parts... Think how Don Figueroa drew them in Transformers (2009). Also... It would be pretty in line with the franchise if Starscream failed miserably.

Megatron (1.1%) - Uses his Twitch stream to spill Decepticon propaganda (that wasn't adapted to appeal to humans) and to deny everything Optimus said on national television. Addresses every viewer by: "Inferior earthen creature." The moment his channel starts to grow (the good ol' Megatron charisma), Twitch takes it down (I'd assume it was the CIA, but they wouldn't let you know.)

Soundwave (38.9%) - Uuuuh... I think the ballot was rigged. IMO, I don't think SW has the personality nor interest in being famous; like, why would he? I also didn't understand why most people thought he would do Let's Plays. I don't see it. I DO see Soundwave logging in daily with his music equipment, doing his thing, and leaving. He doesn't show his face, doesn't talk, and does not interact with his chat; he doesn't even have merchandise; what is the point? Maybe >30 subs if we're being kind.

Thrust (0%) - He really wants to be famous, LIKE REEEAALLY. But it doesn't happen because anything he tries keeps mysteriously flopping!! Like, he already rebranded 10 times, and it never works out! C'mon, he should be the most popular Transformer to ever set foot on Twitch. WAIT IS HE BANNED NOW?? *cries on his gaming PC* 

MAYBE

Shockwave (3.9%) - "ASMR: Disassembling and Mutilating Disgusting Autobot Scum ^_^", "Cleaning The Command Center ^_^", "GRWM: Megatron Is Going to Call Me!!!!!! (It's been 6 earthen months)". He's so fucking booooring. But the novelty of it being recorded on Cybertron and the fact that Shockwave's voice is so relaxing would make him likely to gain a substantial number of subs. I also think he'd live off donations rather than merch (imagine the logistics of selling merch from Cybertron without a middleman; Swindle is there, but... Old grudges.)

Scrapper (0.4%) - A nice, charismatic handy DILF? What is he? An industry plant or something? His streams are mostly him working on a sculpture or showing off some of his past work and commenting on it. He really likes interacting with viewers and talking about his art (heartwarming, an artist getting attention ☺️). Nobody questions his building materials because he's just that charismatic. One of the things keeping him from getting really big is that he's inconsistent regarding when he streams and for how long he'll stream; his modesty also keeps him from monetizing his art; he doesn't like seeing it commodified like this, but he still accepts donations because that can go back to his team. (If the Constructicons got on his case, he'd start thinking seriously about monetizing.)

LIKELY

Swindle (17.7%) - UH DUUUUUUUH!!! The money-crazy robot is good at making money out of anything that exists, OBVIOUSLY! He’d succeed in the grift; he’d INVENT new forms of grifting! Does he care about what he talks? Not one bit! But he understands the system and understands how any species thinks. He’d make the craziest, most absurd rage-baiting streams and advertise his “get rich quick ”course every 15 minutes.He’d also succeed at being a social media manager for a smaller (dumber) streamer.

Drag Strip (3.9%) - Hear me out!! Drag Strip not only has the drive to be famous, but his experience with earthen culture (built on Earth, probably never went to Cybertron) would put him above his Cybetronian peers. I also think aside from his massive ego, he does have that relatability factor. It also would be hilarious if his subs recommended him a souls-like game and he absolutely fumbled it and raged, breaking his room in the process. That level of teenaged patheticness and overreactions makes him endearing and entertaining to watch. (SIDE NOTE: He should preferably hire a social media manager.)

Kickback (0%) - He has that crazy charisma and also no qualms with manipulating people for his own gains. I think unlike his peers, he’d keep vigilant watch over his mouth so he isn’t canceled. Massive number of subs and a dedicated fanbase of fans willing to give him their possessions. Does anything that’s in the Twitch meta in said day, but most of his streams are just him talking or going about his day in some menial task. Maybe the fact that he is only tangentially affiliated with the main ‘Con team helps his popularity.

Has a mukbang channel with the other insecticons, but they aren’t allowed to talk because they’re insane.

Blitzwing (7.4%) - I put him in thinking he had no chance, but the Asmongold person opened my eyes to the truth. Yep, he is one of those channels that thrive off negativity, but unlike Swindle’s artificial hate, Blitzwing’s hate is genuine and fervent. His streams focus on sports (American football), so it is a space made for someone hotheaded and foul-mouthed like Blitzy. I think he mostly reacts to live games, rages, and ends his streams by swearing off every single one of the humans on the opposite team and their fans. Any time he gets it on his head to give his opinion on football news and/or controversy, it’s just misinformation and statistics from his ass.

N/A

Reflector (1.1%) - C'mon.

Honourable Mentions

Rumble and Frenzy

Notes:

Since I only have a limited number of options here, I'm choosing the main 4 'cons, and for the teams, I am choosing the one most likely to succeed (based on their bios and cartoon appearances, like I am not putting Mr.Breakdown in front of a camera and expecting this to be fair.) Of course, it is all subjective.

Since these are all varied characters, I am letting this be very ambiguous about the content of said streams. Maybe most of them would be just chatting streams or commentary/drama; some of these would do reacts, some would play games, and some would talk about their specializations. That being said, I am imagining them doing what they would be best at and feel more comfortable doing.

When I say successful I am thinking SUCCESSFUL, I'm talking sponsors; I'm talking a dedicated fanbase and I'm talking merchandise with their ugly mugs on it. Not some niche micro-celebrity.

[letteredlettered]

Draco was wiping the counter when Harry Potter came into the shop3

(I love how long this title is)

Two people already asked; I guess because you can tell it's H/D. The document title is named that because that was the first line of the fic and I couldn't be bothered to come up with how to save it.

Anyway, this is a coffee shop AU, except not really an AU because it's EWE and otherwise canon. The premise was that Draco works in a Muggle coffee shop. It's not that far from the Ministry of Magic and Aurors start getting coffee there. Eventually Harry comes to check it out because he hears Draco works there; although there was an alternate version where Harry first discovers Draco there because a suspect was spotted at the shop or something similar and Harry comes to investigate.

The fic was really supposed to be about Harry's sexuality; he's struggling with Ginny and they break up, and then for a while he's very confused because he thinks he's supposed to be dating but isn't really feeling it. Then he starts thinking he might be gay but really feels like he has no idea how to tell.

Draco meanwhile has been in lust with Harry since like first year and has tried to do some very healthy things to get over it, such as throw away a very vast, heavily labeled collection of memories he puts into his Penseive to get off on, and become so proficient and Occlusion that he doesn't even know when he's Occluding most of the time. So when he hears Harry is struggling with his sexuality he VERY CASUALLY (as is Draco's wont, because of the Occlusion) offers to show Harry the ropes, as it were.

Harry has been coming to the coffee shop a while now and almost thinks of Draco as a friend; Draco has this bartender role a bit where Harry will talk about cases and then later personal issues and Draco nods and listens and offers encouragement. So when Draco offers VERY CASUALLY to sleep with him Harry is like well why the hell not.

So they kiss and maybe touch a little and Harry pretty much instantly knows HOLY SHIT I'M SO GAY and also we the reader know but Draco remains oblivious and Occludes so hard that he actually manages to succeed in acting like it means nothing to him. And then Harry wants to do more and so of course Draco says yes and Harry is right off the bat extremely intense and passionate and into it and it's obvious to the reader that he's pretty much fallen head over heels now that he understands more about his sexuality, and Draco acts like it's nothing.

And this goes on for a while and eventually Harry is like look, I care about you, and Draco acts like it's nothing. He kind of assumes it's a phase and Harry will get over it, best to protect himself.

And they continue to sleep together for a while and at last Harry can't stand it and is like, I'm not sure I can really do this anymore because I'm so in love with you and I know you don't care about me, and it's killing me. And Draco opens his mouth to say he does care--but can't.

Like he literally can't; he's Occluded so much that he's actually magically fucked up his ability to share his emotions even verbally; and Harry is like "say something" and Draco is like "I can't," and Harry is like "ok but why can't you" and Draco can't explain that either; the Occlumency has fucked him up so much that he actually can't stop Occluding against even explaining the situation.

So Harry eventually leaves and we are very sad and Draco gets therapy and Harry eventually starts dating Michael Corner or somebody and maybe they're even going to get married or something and Draco finally unfucks himself up enough to be able to tell Harry what was happening like two years ago and Draco knows it's too late but he's loved Harry all along and happy ending.

[beardedllamaoafwombat]

This idea and its further development.

For me, a good villain for Kai should be with a similar past, who goes to bad deeds for the sake of a loved one.

Just imagine how the ninjas are trying to catch a guy who steals huge amounts of money, and Kai is captured by him.

The villain tries to take Kai's power, while Smith tries to find important information about the thief's plan.

Kai often talks to him and after a few days of silence, the villain begins to respond.

Their communication with the "prisoner-thief" slowly transforms into "Bro, I understand you."

The villain turns out to be a poor guy with a sick younger brother who needs money for treatment.

And Kai sees himself in the villain.

He became a ninja for his sister, the guy became a thief for his brother.

They both had a poor childhood without parents, trying to raise a younger brother / sister in well-being.

I envision their dialogue like this:

Kai: You know, I first soaked things in water, then rubbed them with sand and stone for a long time.

Villain: And I dipped things in water and covered them with sand. Half an hour later I was digging things up and rinsing them in the river.

Kai: Also a good way.

Villain: and then they smelled of seaweed

Kai: Oh, yeah!

Or how:

Villain: Does it often piss you off that letters are required to be written with a pen?

Kai: Of course! I always wrote letters in pencil so that I could later erase and write a new letter on the same sheet.

Villain: Oh yes! And you're still trying not to put too much pressure on the pencil so that you don't leave a lot of spots on a beautiful sheet later. The postmen confused the address of my letters several times when I did not erase the old addresses on the envelope.

Kai: By the way, how many years have you been using the same envelope?

Villain: About five years, I guess, but I had one envelope that could last me another 20 years if it-

Kai: the brother didn't throw it away with the words: "What kind of junk? You can buy a new one!"

Villain: Yes! You too?

Kai: I have an envelope that I have used for over 10 years and my sister threw it away. It's good that she hasn't found my old stamps yet.

Villain: Bro

They tell each other about their past and Kai tries to convince the villain of stealing other people's money, warning about the result of this decision.

And he doesn't succeed.

Kai: You will be put in jail, you will not be hired, go to university, it will be difficult for you to find a girlfriend.

You can't even see your brother outside of prison, after all.

Villain: Please, Kai, don't. For brother's health, I'm ready to do anything... You also became a ninja just for the sake of Nya.

Kai:...eh...there are other ways..

Villain: Yes, but I've already decided everything. And, I'm sorry, can you, please, look after my brother while I will be in jail.

Kai:.....

Kai: ok.

Villain: Thank you! Really, thank you.

When the ninja rescue Kai from captivity, and the villain is imprisoned, Smith fulfills his promise and visits the villain in prison, telling how his brother is recovering after paying for expensive treatment.

Such a villain will help Kai talk a little about some of the problems of his childhood and reveal his character from the other side.

And ninjas will start taking care of Kai.

Yes, I want to see how they together hug Kai.

[charliedawn]

How would they react if you were to marry someone else? (Warning : I love writing sad stories)

" I'm so happy for you. I hope that you'll have the best life together. You deserve it."

He smiles and pretends that it doesn't hurt him as much as it really does. After having spent so many times doing it, faking perfect happiness has become easy for him. He loves you, he always loved you..but now, he has to see you at the arm of another man/woman and it takes all of his willpower not to cry. He knows he can't do anything, but he still wishes that you would see..see how much he cares and would do anything to be that person by your side. But, he will not be as selfish as to tell you how he truly feels. He wants you to be happy. He thought Peggy would be the only person that he would ever want to see smile everyday, but that was before he met you. He wants you to be happy, this is why he doesn't want to be selfish and deprave you of that wonderful smile by actually saying how he truly feels. However, when the music starts and you don't find your husband/wife anywhere, he decides to step up. He stands in front of you with a gentle smile and a welcoming hand.

" May I ?"

You smile back and nod in agreement before taking his hand. You start waltzing and many people leave the way, as if they know..they know that this man is the one you should have married. Unfortunately, it seems that you hadn't gotten the memo in time, as you were the only one who understood too late..But what hurts the most ? It is that he seems genuinely happy for you. That smile tortures you. He wipes your tears away, tears that you hadn't felt rolling down your cheeks. He smiles again and you close your eyes, everything to stop looking at that smile..Suddenly, you feel someone tapping your shoulder. You open your eyes wide to see your husband/wife that addresses you a soft smile before glaring at Steve that glares right back. He crosses his arms, but finally says with a stern warning.

" If you hurt her/him..I will hurt you."

He simply states before turning around and walking away. You look at him walking away and can't help but chuckle as you remember something that Tony had said long ago.

" That is America's a**"

Your husband/wife looks at you with widened eyes, as if you had gone crazy and it only makes you laugh harder. Maybe you had ?

" This is quite the ceremony..In my 107 years on this planet, I don't remember ever being invited to a wedding."

"Too bad that my first had to be yours", he wants to add, but he had promised himself to behave today. He sits down and hangs his head low, not finding the strength to look at you again. He is afraid of what he'll find there..worse of all, he doesn't want to see pity..Nothing is worse than pity. Because, he knows he doesn't deserve it. However, your hand appears in his peripheral vision and he is forced to look up at you.

" Bucky Barnes, may I have this dance ?"

You ask and his eyes widen in surprise, looking around for your husband/wife to intervene. But, you're alone for now and he takes your hand. You yank him out of his seat and he finds himself smiling as you laugh when you both nearly fall under his weight.

" Come on, Barnes. Help me here. Get up !"

He laughs before finally getting up and you smile before dancing with him. At some point, you tenderly get some locks out of his face behind his ear and he grazes his lips over the top of your hand, a simple kiss that has more meaning than everything you had experienced so far. However, your husband/wife arrives and shatters the moment by taking your hand for a dance. Bucky has just the time to whisper something in the shell of your ear that makes you feel cold to the bone.

" I lost.."

He simply says, staring right at you with tears in his eyes and a small sorrowful smile. He feels terrible and knows that if he had acted sooner, you would have been his. But, he waited too long. He doesn't want to let you go without you knowing what he feels about you. He lost..He will never be the man who you will run to in your darkest moments, he would always remain Bucky, the best friend. You look at him, he looks back at you and you know..You know what those words mean. You smile sadly. Maybe..It could have been. But, it is too late now, and Bucky knows it. He smiles back too with tears rolling down his cheeks that he quickly wipes away. Nobody understands in the room, not even your husband/wife, but you do. You do. And, that's enough for him.

Many thought Tony was crying because he was moved, little did they know..Tony Stark was crying because he hadn't realized until you showed up in your wedding dress how much of an idiot he had been for not acting sooner. He could convince himself and others that he was a genius..but at that moment, he felt like the dumbest of them all. He wants to be that person that is holding your hand and kisses you gently while you exchange rings. He thought he had time, even when you said that you were getting engaged..He thought it wouldn't last. He had even tried to pay the man/woman to leave you alone. But, it is over now. He knows that there is no turning back. You're gone..and you would never be his. This is why the great Tony Stark was crying. However, he forces himself to smile now and laughs as he stands up to make a toast.

" I guess it's my turn. To Y/N L/N, the woman/man that is always willing to go the extra mile. The heart of the team. The person that always sees the bright side in people. You are one of a kind and nothing less than special. My only regret, is to have not noticed it sooner.."

He smiles at you and chuckles before raising his glass.

" I wish you nothing than what you deserve. Happiness. Happiness for now and forever."

You smile and raise your glass as well. The music soon plays and your husband/wife takes you hand to have the first dance. However, somebody else grabs it first and you turn around to see Tony that winks cheekily to your partner.

" Too slow. Don't worry, I may borrow you lovely bride/groom for five minutes, but you'll have them for the rest of your life."

You smile as your partner reluctantly lets you go. You follow Tony that succeeds in surprising you with his moves. He notices and chuckles.

" Didn't know I had moves like that, huh? Guess I can still surprise you.."

You shake your head and laugh while arking an eyebrow at him.

" Surprised that you know how to dance ? Nah. I've seen worse. In fact, I'm surprised you didn't crash my wedding with an helicopter screaming "I object !" before kidnapping me. Ah.."

The scene is so detailed that Tony wonders if you had imagined it, wished it even ?

" Would you have followed me ?"

He asks seriously, in a almost hopeful voice and you smile, almost dreamily, but your answer is as serious as his question.

" To Hell and back.."

Another proof that Tony Stark is an idiot: he had thought of it. He had thought of crashing your wedding and carrying you bridal style out of this downright ridiculous wedding..but he had hesitated. He is about to tell you that the alternative is still possible when he sees your husband/wife making their way to you. He closes his mouth. He has no right to take you away from them. He smiles one last time before kissing your forehead.

" Go back to your prince/princess, sweetheart..They deserve you the most."

" I'm fine..I'm fine."

He says to whoever asks him, so much that he starts actually believing it. However, it is another story when he sees you walk the aisle and can't help but have a lump in his throat as he contains his tears. Here you are, as beautiful and surreal as the first day he met you. Your kindness radiating from you so much that it almost hurts him to see how perfect you are. He wants to chase those thoughts from his head, he wants to stop loving you..But he can't. Just one look at you, and he knows that he is not fine. He is far from fine. His other half wants to get out an rip the man/woman that dared take you away from him, but he won't let him. He is not a monster, and he won't allow you to see him as anything else than nice inoffensive little Dr Banner, especially today. It is killing him to see you with such a smile that seems so genuine. To think that it is supposed to be your happiest day, and it is his worst. It only gets worse when you ask him to be your first dance..He is not a good dancer, he knows it. But, for once, he'll go beyond his safe zone and let you bring him to stand up and dance with you. Thankfully, you mostly take the lead and go slowly. He doesn't know what to say, so he just stays silent, admiring you. You look up at him and he can't help but smile back. Soon, the song is over and he opens his mouth to finally admit what he has always felt for you. But, other words come out.

" Congrats, Y/N..I'm happy for you."

Lies. Lies. He is not happy, he is miserable. But, he won't admit it, not when you smile at him and embrace him tightly like that..He finds that he has trouble to breathe. He knows that Hulk wouldn't let him, but he truly feels as if he is dying. He forces himself to smile as you take a step back and walk towards another guest. He follows you with his eyes before walking away. He should have known, who would ever want a monster like him ?

" You have a mighty warrior by your side. The best of them all. Be sure to make them happy and Y/N? I wish you many great adventures and..and.."

For once, the great Thor is lost for words. He is happy for you, but something in his chest burns. He should be happy as it is a joyous moment, but he can only fix his cup with uncertainty. You are one of his best friends..He should be happy for you, the words of encouragement and congratulations should flow from his mouth. Thor is not one to pass on good wine, but still, he is as sober as he ever remembers himself being. He can't drink, his lips are parched, and still..He feels as if he is drowning. He glances at you and sees the same uncertainty in your eyes.

" I love you.."

The words get out before he can ever register them and the whole assembly falls silent at his confession. Both you and your partner open your eyes wide in shock at his confession. You are about to say something when Thor starts laughing and shakes his head.

" I love you as a brother/sister and I wish you all the best that this world has to offer !"

The whole assembly seems to buy his last minute addition, including your partner that seems to relax beside you. But, you are no fool. You've spend enough time with the North god to know when he is lying. However, you don't know what you would have said, you were so eager to respond..but in truth ? You don't have a clue on what the good answer would have been. You stand up and face Thor that seems taken aback when you take him by the hand to the dancefloor. When you're sure that nobody would overhear your conversation, you whisper.

" What the heck were you thinking ?! Confessing like that today?! Out of any days?!"

He wants to deny, but he only lowers his head in shame.

" Forgive me, my friend..I shouldn't have said anything. It was selfish on my behalf. Forget I ever said anything. I wasn't thinking straight, too much wine.."

He quickly adds at the end, hoping that you would buy this excuse. For a moment, your eyes seem to scan his face for any clue that he was lying..But then, for a second, he sees a glimpse of disappointment that quickly disappears, replaced by a smile.

" I see.. No worries. Everyone makes mistakes."

You finally say before walking away. His heart tightens as he watches you leave, going back to him/her. That person that he shall never be..He forces himself to stay stoic in front of the many guests that wanted to talk to him, but he can't help to steal quick glances at your beauty, from afar. Thor is not one to cry, he is a hero, heroes don't cry. But, he can't help but shed a few tears as he knows that this is what he will ever be allowed to do now, steal glimpses at your infinite beauty that blinds him every single time. Funny, he always thought that Asgard was the most resplendent thing in the galaxy..guess he was wrong.

He wouldn't come. He can't. He is a mess since the day you told him. He would stay locked up in his room and only follow the ceremony on a TV screen.

" It could have been me..It should have been me !"

He screams before punching the screen and finally leaning down on his bed. He cover his eyes with his hands to hide his tears from the world. He dreamt of the day you would be dressed in the most beautiful silks, but for him.

" Oh my sweet..To think that those tears of joy are not for me to admire..Tell me, if I had had the courage to ask you ? Would you have said yes, little Midgardian ?"

He asks the broken TV screen wistfully and laughs humorlessly before looking at his shaking hands. Suddenly, he closes them into fists and screams at the top of his lungs, he screams his regret and the pain he feels at knowing that you would be happy without him. When he stops, he feels his sore throat and hiccups a laugh that turns into a maniacal laugh. Who is he hoping to fool ? You wouldn't have said yes..Who could ever say yes to such a monster ? He closes his eyes and makes a clone appear at the dinner. He thought you wouldn't notice him among the crowd, but you do and he freezes. Finally, you smile warmly at him and make your way to him through the crowd. He hadn't planned on talking to you, he just wanted to see you one last time. However, he still forces himself to smile courteously and takes your hand to kiss the back of it, like a prince in those fairytales that you used to read him when he was in his cell..

" You haven't changed, prince Loki..To think 5 years passed already. I thought you were dead, I mourned you.."

You say in an almost accusative tone, but he only answers with a small shrug and a smile.

" Timelines, my dear..A very complicated thing."

You nod absent-mindedly at his answer before wrapping your arms around him. He takes a shaky breath before slowly raising his hand to gently pet the top of your head.

" I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you.."

" I'm sorry too."

You reply with a sad smile that makes his heart sink. But, before he could ask what you were sorry about, you partner comes and asks for a dance. You smile apologetically at Loki before taking the hand of your husband/wife. Loki stays still, the question still lingering in his mind..Sorry ? Sorry for what ? He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. It doesn't matter. It is too late now..He is too late. His clone vanishes and Loki comes back to his room, sad and now, destined to be alone forever..

" You look so gorgeous/handsome. I can't believe you're getting married. He/She better treat you right, alright ?"

Scott would be happy for you and hide his sadness behind a smile. He would look at you with tears in his eyes, thinking of how you look truly amazing in that dress/smoking/whatever suits your boat. He would act like you best friend until the end, even walking you to the aisle if you ask him. He's so proud of you, but at the same time can't help but feel a pang in his chest, knowing that he is not the one waiting at the end of said aisle. He would also stay by your side afterwards during the dinner.

" Was it like that with Cassie's mother ?"

You ask him and he takes a shaky breath before answering you with a small sad smile.

" Oh no..It wasn't so fancy. You got yourself quite a deal with that one. He/She seems to be an extremely good catch."

You laugh a little before turning your head away to discreetly wipe your tears.

" I guess I should consider myself quite lucky then, huh ?"

You both laugh, but it sounds so fake and unnatural that you immediately stop. You then look around for your husband/wife as the music starts, but do not spot him among the crowd. However, Scott stands in front of you with his hand outstretched towards you.

" I may not be the best dancer, but would you do me the favor ?"

You look at his hand for several seconds before taking it with a genuine smile.

" Of course."

He smiles back and you start dancing around. However, when you finally stop, you realize that you've been staring too long at him and him at you. For a moment, you think he is about to kiss you, and you would have let him..But then, your husband/wife arrives with a smile and wraps their arm around your waist possessively. Scott understands the message and smiles one last time at you before taking a step back and letting go of your hand. You open your mouth to talk, but quickly close it..What could you possibly say ? But, he doesn't seem angry, he just sniffles and makes it sound like it is the emotion of finally you getting married.

" Oh wow..I guess I overstepped, huh ? Sorry..They're all yours."

Scott then walks away, his heart shattering even more with each step he takes and you sigh while your partner leads you away.

" I guess that congratulations are in order."

He says while flying down next to you and taking your hand. You smile up at him and he seems to not find his words. He had repeated them. But, just looking at your face, and other words fall out of his mouth.

" I'm sorry. I can't seem to be able to find any will in me to congratulate you."

You snort. Of course..

" You have an awful lot to learn about humans, Vision..But, I don't blame you. I wouldn't be able to find the will to congratulate myself either."

He frowns, confused, and tilts his head to the side, trying to decipher your words.

" But..It is your wedding day. The happiest day of your life."

He replies while slowly dancing with you in the air until your husband/wife asks him to get you down.

" Is it ?"

You reply before laughing humorlessly while staring right back at him with your eyes glassy, as if you're about to cry. However, you only smile one last time before following your husband/wife that leads you to another guest. Vision watches you leave and feels his brain working, still trying to make sense of your words. Suddenly, he seems to understand and closes his eyes, feeling something painful in his chest, even though he knows nothing is physically wrong with his body.

" I see.."

He finally says. He doesn't know for who he says it, maybe you, maybe himself ? For a being whose name is Vision, it took him a while to see the truth.

" You're the father of the bride/groom ?"

One of the guests ask him as he saw Dr Strange walk you to the aisle. He doesn't want to be rude, it's your day. He fakes a smile before nodding half-heartedly.

" Something like that.."

The guest is obviously not a close friend, or they would have known that your father had died/wasn't there. He glances at you and finds you staring at him. You quickly look away when you understand that you've been spotted. He wishes his feelings could be only translated as fatherly/brotherly/friend-related love..But, unfortunately, his heart had decided to play with his emotions. He had hoped for so long that his heart would listen to his brain that was finding every possible reason for him not to crash the party and take you away..He had had many occasions to lose his mind, falling head over heels for you isn't the one he thought would finally break him. It is eating him alive. He is so absorbed in his thoughts that he doesn't see you, making your way to him. You gently tap him on the shoulder and he turns around to see you with a Cheshire-like grin.

" Shouldn't I have my first dance with my father ?"

He rolls his eyes dramatically at the last word before he retorts.

" You heard that, huh ? But you still don't hear me when I tell you to wake up for your training each morning.."

You laugh before taking his hand and leading him to the dancefloor. He can't help but smile when you start laughing at the sudden change of music..

"Beyonce. How convenient.."

You mimic his voice and he sighs loudly in fake exasperation.

" I should have known..This is why you wanted me to be your first dance. You had planned it all, you little devil."

You laugh mischievously before it slowly quiets down and you look at your shoes as you admit.

" That..but I also wanted you to be my first dance..You're the only family I have left, Strange. You, and the Avengers."

His heart beats a little too fast for his liking at your words and he admonishes his heart for being so sensitive..He takes your chin between his thumb and index to tip your face up, in order for you to look at him. When he sees that you are crying, he feels his heart stop and his mask crumbles. He allows himself to cry as well and you open your eyes wide in shock. Doctor Strange. The man that had gone through countless hardships such as a car accident that made him lose the practicality of his hands, wars, a face to face with a god, who had literally died, is now crying at your wedding. The irony..You hide your face in his cloak that seems to understand and hides the both of you for a moment. You feel safe in Strange's arms and want to stay hidden in his cloak forever, but you then hear the noises coming from outside, the voice of you partner among them. You force yourself to smile and wipe your tears. You then look up at Strange, but he doesn't need you to ask, he lets you go and you leave the safety of his arms to return to the ones of your beloved partner. Stephen can just stare at you until you both disappear among the crowd. He is still crying and his cloak tries to wipe them as well, but he shakes his head.

" Don't..It is the only thing I have left from her/him.."

Hawkeye doesn't know why he came..He knew it would break his heart to see you in someone else's arms..But, he still came. Thankfully, he has Natasha by his side. She stays next to him and he laughs bitterly as he tells her.

" My arrow didn't work it seems. The right speed, but not the right target.."

She smiles sadly at her best friend before putting her head on his shoulder compassionately.

" Don't sell yourself short. One of them hit right."

He looks up at you and laughs humorlessly at Natasha's way to comfort him.

" I don't know what is worse ? Her/Him marrying someone else or her/him not marrying at all ?"

Natasha laughs, but it is as fake as his.

" Who knows ? Maybe it wasn't meant to be ?"

Clint nods, even though he can't help but disagree with Natasha. From the first moment his eyes fell on you, he knew you were the one. Unfortunately, he had to compete with super soldiers, geniuses and gods..Who was he to ask you for a chance ? A guy with arrows..The answer is so obvious, the reality so brutal that it hurts. But what hurts the most ? It's that at the end, you had chosen another human, a human with no superpowers, no inhuman strength, not even arrows..Only human. To add to his shame, your smile that seems so genuine as you make your way to him.

" Barton, may I have this dance ?"

You ask and he looks at Natasha for help, but she only busies herself with her drink as she stands up to leave.

" Have fun you two.."

" You traitor.."

He mouthes at her while you have your face turned and Natasha barely surpresses a laugh. He then puts a smile back on when you face him. You smile back as he takes a the lead and starts waltzing around with you. You seem so happy, he feels as if tears are about to spill from his eyes. He bats them away just in time. He couldn't let you see him like this, not now, not ever..

" You know, Clint..There was a time where I thought it would be you.."

He opens his eyes wide in shock at your admission as he looks down at you, unsure if he had heard you correctly. But, you nod in confirmation.

" You heard me..I really thought you would be the one wearing a tuxedo and sweep me off my feet. But, it seems Robin Hood only exists in novels and I am no damsel in distress.."

He doesn't know what to say, so he only lightly squeezes your hand to urge you to continue. He knows it won't change anything, but he wants to know nonetheless. However, you only smile sadly before looking up at him with eyes prickled with tears and stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

" Girls/Guys can dream, right ?"

You then walk away and leave him dumbstruck as he processes what you had just admitted. Not only would you have been satisfied with any human beings, you would have been satisfied with him. The knowledge hurts more than anything and he can only sit down on a nearby couch, tears rolling down his cheeks now. One single thought running on loop through his brain : he could have been enough. He could have been enough..

Bonus : Your reaction

You wait a little bit before walking towards a room where you could finally be alone. You stay with a smile plastered on your face on the way there, keeping the facade for the sake of convenience until you are in said room. Your smile slowly turns downwards and you lean against the door, letting a big sigh out of your mouth as you look at the ring on your finger. Here. It was done. But then, why does it feel so painful ? You slide down and bury your face in your arms to sob as quietly as possible. He had danced with you, he had nearly confessed to you..but didn't. And the worse part is ? If he had asked you to follow him, even then, you would have followed him without any hesitation. You had once thought that he would be the one by your side forever..Guess you were wrong ? You sniffle before opening the locket hanging from your neck where a small picture of him is hidden. You smile tenderly at the picture before taking the locket off and pondering what to do with it now ? You have to forget. He is only a dream, a beautiful dream..but a dream nonetheless. Heroes like him belong to the world, not you. You take a shaky sigh before wiping your tears away and smiling again. You had married someone that loved you and that you loved, you should be happy..But then, why does your heart seem so eager to prove you wrong, beating wildly in your chest out of protest ? You close your eyes and let one single tear roll down your cheek one last time before letting the locket fall from your hand on the floor as you stand up. You then put on your fake smile again and open the door to step out.

I had to listen to so many sad songs to do this. Hope it was worth it.