#i guess i'm passionate (?) about this
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Both Kabu and Larry have resting grump faces but they're misleading! Kabu's very friendly and laughs easily, and Larry is polite (if very tired) and even treats you to a meal after you beat his gym. It's just very cute to me.
[patreon]
#pokemon#pokemon swsh#pokemon sv#kabu#larry#z art#z comic#i'm sorry they're eating my brain right now i can't predict these things#i guess this technically isn't larrykabu but i was THINKING it#larry is just quietly puzzled when you say you like him#he's not rude or grumpy! he's just tired and complains about his work at times#kabu in comparison is very passionate but also can be very thoughtful and nice#understanding! gentle! he uses boku for himself which is also cute
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this is giving me a couple thoughts that seem opposite at first but i don't think they are
- on the one hand, you are unique, and so is the combination of the things you know and the way you relate to them, and so making something based on those means you can combine things in a way that only you can think of
- on the other hand, sometimes an idea like "what if [thing i like] but..." is enough of a drive to make something different enough to be its own thing. your takes are your own and if you make your own take on something that's still creating
i think the main thing here is that creating isn't about finding truly new and original things, since those don't really exist, but rather it's about you taking things and making something else with them. it's self expression of your ideas and it's about putting a touch of you in the things you make and put out there in the world. if they're you, they're unique, because you're unique in your own way.
it's funny how my mind is just kinda a natural at "remixing" ideas
like i'm really good at taking elements of one thing and adding it to another but coming up with something entirely new basically requires a divine spark lol
like i can write a concept for a bug fables sequel or some mix of a song or a game inspired by a bunch of different things but at the end of the day i can trace back every little inspiration to a source and usually it feels very evident
and this isn't really a complaint! there's definitely value in a remix, it's just a funny observation
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Hey, what makes a character a 'plot device but not a character'? And how do you not do that? I'm trying to do it on purpose but also I need to still make them interesting because it's on purpose, yknow?
A good skill to pick up is to learn to criticise criticism itself. A "plot device" is simply a thing that moves the plot along, it's a neutral literary analysis term! Usually, when people are angry that "a character has been used as a plot device," it doesn't mean they hate plot devices. It means they're gesturing at something deeper.
Runningwind and Bumble are equally plot devices in their deaths. They are both killed by the antagonist to escalate political tension. Runningwind is rarely "accused" of just being a plot device, and yet, we're talking about Bumble for the same thing.
So, why?
Well, Runningwind is just a background character, but in life, he was a part of the community. He was characterized as impatient but responsible. Yet, he wasn't SO important that he died with a bunch of unresolved plot threads.
He is mostly an extension of the entity of ThunderClan. His killing by Tigerstar, and the fear and paranoia that settles on the group after this, feel like a progression of the story insteas of something forced.
Bumble, on the other hand...
Is hated immediately by Gray Wing, when she's established as Turtle Tail's friend. Bumble's abuse at Tom the Wifebeater's hands invites even MORE investment. The rejection is shocking and upsetting. There's a story there about our main characters being imperfect; jealous, bigoted, and judgemental.
But, she is simply killed off. Everything they set up for this character is gone with little personalized fanfare. It's not a tragedy with a lesson about cruelty, or something anyone regrets.
It's just... plot. Gray Wing whinging that no one will like his shitty brother now that his body count is 2.
More than that, in the discussion of women in particular, "Fridging" was coined to give a name to the way women characters often don't get their stories told at all. There is a CULTURAL trend of female characters facing disproportionate violence, for the sake of advancing male plots.
Bumble has a lot going for her. Petal had a lot going for her. Turtle Tail had a lot going for her. Bright Stream had a lot going for her. When they died, they took their potential with them.
It's not always wrong to kill off a character of high potential, mind you. In Gurren Lagann, Kamina's death is sudden and shocking, leaving a massive hole in the hearts of the cast that never heals. Grappling with that loss, but also letting his memory fuel them, is a major theme of that story.
All that to say... there's no formula for avoiding it. You've gotta identify what the deeper issue is, in your specific narrative.
I can't say for certain what that will look like for your story, but here's some things I keep in mind;
When you make characters who exist to die, make sure they're people before you axe them.
Ask yourself; what about them does the cast miss?
If they just miss them because they were (pre-existing relationship), go back to the drawing board.
Fluttering Bird as an example. Who was she? Dead sister. Why do they miss her? Dead sister. No traits until after her death.
Runningwind was short-tempered and helpful. Kamina was a valuable leader who made people believe in a brighter future. Swiftpaw was fiesty and desperate to prove himself. The better characterized, the more profound the loss usually is.
If this is a female character who is dying just to serve the plot, be aware of cultural bias and tropes. How is the gender ratio looking in your cast? Is this happening disproportionately with your girls?
Note how Quiet Rain's litter had both a boy and a girl, but the girl was chosen to be "weaker" and wither away.
And how most of the time in DOTC, whenever a man had to be upset, a girl would get killed for it.
If you ever feel like the character on the chopping block is NOT a full character, ask yourself why it needs to be a character at all. You don't need to spend narrative time building out someone when a literal object of high value might suffice.
"My sister died when I swore to protect her and I can't face my family" = Old. Tired. Ive seen this.
"I lost my heirloom sword when I swore to protect it and I can't face my family." = Fascinating. Why was the sword so valuable? Will they really not take you back? How did you lose it?
When you do kill off "high value" characters, try to make sure you're not leaving too many plot threads hanging. Or at least make a point of how they will never get closure.
#Bones gives advice#These questions can be hard for me to advise on because making characters is one of the easy parts for me.#It's more the “working them into a story without overwhelming it” part#But making characters that are fun and interesting has always come naturally to me as a writer.#I just work out some fun dialogue and fill in what their wants and desires would be based on backstory#And the rest kinda fills itself out as the message and themes of my narrative forms.#In fact the thing that makes BB so easy for me to work on is having an existing “story template” in mind#I don't have to chart out the long term events in advance because I do have a full picture of what leads where#And what I want to say with each rework.#I've always been told I'm really good at killing off characters though#Especially in my RP days. I remember I singlehandedly turned a pretty standard 'escape from evil lab' plot into--#--a painful story about loyalty and suffering. I was the main villain and the escapees knew he would never give up.#Because he loved their master and believed fully in the idea of 'sacrifice for the greater good.'#Always friendly. Passionate. Would have been a dedicated leader in a slightly different setting.#They knew he would never want to actually hurt them so they had to trick him into trying to “coral” them with his fire powers on ice#He didn't know it was ice and melted through#I guess the thing I do is just... make them cool lmao. It's hard to give advice on this#''Draw the rest of the owl 4head''
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They are all literally just a little Desert family
(Because they're both from deserts (Australia and the Artic)
Look guys, they're all one big family and you can't convince me otherwise
Let me explain
First you've got the father-daughter relationship between Natquik and Dashi. They go on so many missions together and Natquik adores Dashi so much. He's even got a photo of her hanging up on the wall in his den!
She's always out there doing supply runs in risky weather, doing Artic research and they even set out on a lil mission with just the two of them to check out seismic activity! It really helps affirm the father-son relationship with Natquik and Barnacles. Look at how happy they are when dropping him off.
They're just like "Bye Dad!"
The way Dashi and Natquik always talk to each other out of genuine interest/concern as well! For example when Natquik's calling about the fox situation and Dashi says "What the Captain meant to say is how are you enjoying your vacation" or when Natquik calls them to check that dashi got home safely and had some hot coco. They are just the cutest!
Second, you've got the Koshi and Barnacles big brother-little sister relationship. These two are such a wholesome duo because I feel like these two are just on the same frequency. Also the fact that Koshi is always stealing Barnacles's mannerism (e.g. pose/catchphrase) very much reminds me of younger sibling behaviour.
The way Koshi is able to talk to Barnacles like they are equals and call him out on stuff makes their dynamic a lot more fluid.
Barnacles is definitely able to take off his "children serious" filter and can be a little bit more like himself around her. For example, in the raven's episode where he says "A conspiracy, you mean they're plotting against us?!?!" and Koshi says "Nah, you know that's what you call a group of raven's."
Also when they do their little bluff with the raven's it's so funny because two aren't naturally the best actors (ngl Barnacles's acting is abysmal have you seen the bald ibis episode).
These two have definitely got something wrong with them but they are also so obsessed with learning and understanding other behaviour and I think they have an unspoken bond over that which I think is really neat.
Third, we've also got this rarepair Tracker and Koshi duo! They lowkey give me “omg it’s my favourite cousin” vibes because they instantly click really well. These two get an entire episode together (the billabong mystery) and they are such a good combo. Between their shared excess knowledge and wits they work well together.
Koshi invited Tracker to go and study Australian birds (also I love that she knew that he loved birds) and they both end up causing a bit of chaos. Koshi also helps Tracker by showing him the ropes of Australia is great to see.
The "Home Run" moment for me in terms of their dynamic was when Koshi gave Tracker her mystery sister's notebook to write their adventure in. This book means a lot to Koshi, she takes it everywhere and she usually uses it to write about her adventures with Dashi. So for her to give it over to Tracker meant that they’d formed a pretty strong bond.
Tracker taking the time and care to write their adventure in her notepad shows that he really likes Koshi as well. These two are the duo I never knew I needed.
Fourth, speaking of Tracker admittedly, he and Dashi haven't had a great deal of interactions, most of them being computer calls. Their relationship is definitely one that's formed around mutual friends. If I were going to put a label on it I'd say they're giving off that "third cousin that I see once every few years but also happens to know everything about me" vibe.
Their most notable interaction was their first call in the deep freeze special. Tracker definitely takes a liking to Dashi (as to what type of liking that is based on his tone...) but generally, they seem to have positive interactions in the calls they do share.
Tracker said it was “really nice to meet you” and honestly it would be really nice if these two get an episode together in the next season of Above and Beyond.
Fifth, obviously we've got the Dashi and Barnacles power duo here. Their bond is probably the foundation of this little desert family. Ironically I also don’t want to put a label on it because theirs so many ways to go about interpreting it (I could go into a deeper dive for them but that’s for another post…).
These two have genuinely been in the trenches together. They were quite literally parenting the original squad in the original series and they now share major leadership roles in above and beyond. They’re got each others backs, they’re keeping everyone (including each other) alive and managed.
They express so much genuine concern for each other and are usually there as when the other is in strife. Barnacles is literally having a full on mini meltdown when Dashi first flying to Natquik, clearly they mean something to each other. Whether it’s a “trauma bond so strong we founded a family” or “Bestied so hard our families combined” situation these two are like this 🤞.
There are also other examples I could talk about like Koshi and the cubs hanging out and getting along nicely or characters that aren't probably going to get a chance to interact like Koshi and Natiquik since Natquik never leaves the Artic and I highly doubt Koshi has a reason to go there but my point still stands. These two "families" of characters have had several interactions and entire episodes dedicated to them to the point where it could almost be interpreted as a deliberate choice. Nearly all above-and-beyond episodes with Professor Natquik feature Dashi. Tracker and Koshi got an entire episode dedicated to them despite having limited interactions before. There are also several episodes that feature a 2 artic + 1 aus trio or 1 aus + 1 artic in them.
The nail on this coffin for me personally for the desert families was definitely the "Artic Blizzard" episode with "Billabong Mystery" further solidifying it.
For example, take this scene where Dashi's first priority is making sure that the cubs are ok once the wolves are scared away instead of running to see if Barnacles is ok. She understands that the cubs are vulnerable and highly protected members of the "Artic family" hence genuinely worries about them despite them not being her own "Blood" family, which is what most of them are more naturally inclined to do.
She's worried about their safety throughout the whole thing and has to entirely place her trust entirely in Natquik and Tracker as most other options are not viable due to the nature of the Artic.
(Also off topic, Dashi driving into the wolves honking at them and shouting on the speaker to get away from the polar bears was so in the character of her I genuinely giggled)
Thinking about this from a practical perspective, some octonauts/agents would be far better suited to handle missions in the Arctic, yet Dashi is chosen by the writers reoccurring in these adventures which I think is a great way to allude and represent the struggles of family. The trusting in them to show a new culture, to get you to safety, the fear surrounding unfamiliarity and anxieties surrounding acceptance when you are completely out of your depths is illustrated through the forming the "desert family"
This idea is then continued in the Billabong mystery episode where it's Tracker having to trust Koshi in an alien environment. Furthermore, the episode is told through a flashback, which gives Tracker the power of having the dominant narrative voice. His recalling of the events, despite being filled with mishaps and miscommunication leading to problems is generally positive. This episode can give insights into the importance of forming strong and positive connections with others when learning to adjust to the many complications and quirks that come with families. By being able to create a sense of belonging for others within the preexisting family structure in an organic way (e.g. by using commonalities and demonstrating both the highs and lows), the idea of the "desert family" being an intentional choice.
Also, I love how the stronger bonds with the "desert family" structure are upheld throughout the group interactions. They had all three of them lined up and proud of the cubs during the badge ceremony. They could've left them out and made it a personal thing with just the cubs and barnacles but they instead chose to celebrate family achievements with the whole (which we love to see). Furthermore, looking at the snowball fight, for example, they all instinctively split up into teams (Dashi+Natquik) vs (Tracker+Barnacles) vs (The Cubs) which I think is just stinking adorable and has also been repeatedly shown as a strong duo with "familiarly connotations" in previously episodes.
So that's why I think these guys are a "Desert family" and I think that this should be appreciated more.
I have a method to the madness. No this is not some delirious delusion, but I think an intentional choice in order to educate others on complex topics in accessible ways and further develop the characters.
Now, all thats left to do is hope for an episode of all of them together!
Peace out!
<3
#octonauts#desert family#oh geez that was alot#fair dinkum literally 1600 words#Look I'm just really passionate about this and it's NOT a “polictical” subject within the octonauts community#so I just wanted to explain my perspective and reasoning#I guess for future things I'd like to bring up and explain#octonauts dashi#octonauts barnacles#octonauts tracker#octonauts koshi#octonauts natquik#octonauts ursa#octonauts orson#But yeah guys did we enjoy this please let me know#cause that was a lot of effort and this isn't even that artciualte#the real reason I take english advanced#I didn't wanna generally say this and sound like a schizo#LIVE LAUGH LOVE DESERT FAMILY
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[152] Rewatched some jojo episodes today :-)
#152#xisuma#xisumavoid#daily xisuma#hermitcraft#technically I also watched some yesterday but shhhh#I forget how insane fizzy is. like oh my GOD#also oh yeah I totally don't call anyone but dio (and also gappy but that's because gappy isn't real to me) by their actual name#this happened because before I started watching jjba I hated it with a burning passion and one thing led to another#I don't actually remember why I remembered its existence. I got here via jojo fighting game my beloved (I'm so bad but I will become great)#I play as watermelon :D#but anyway yeah I watched a couple part 2 and a couple part 4 episodes#go duck's hat I guess. I think about it sometimes
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Thinking about Disco Elysium and stars. Something about communal experience and simultaneous isolation, hope and idealism, fear and beauty and terror and burning. The inherent horror in the vast romantic starscape of the sky, the melancholy and loneliness inherent in the untold distance, a communal experience of something too enormous to fathom. Stars bear witness to humanity, to the millions of tiny people crawling on the face of Elysium. They watch the people, and the people watch back, and make up stories about the stars. Stars symbolise love, hope, something unreachable and unattainable.
The way that the light of the stars reaches every single being in Elysium, from human to phasmid, but no matter how far it reaches it is still a cold and distant glow, always on the verge of going out. A moral brilliance, a holy light to strive towards, something always at risk of burning out, but there's a dichotomy too. A duality between the stars as brutal unfeeling observers, moralists even, like the aerostatics flying overhead, tiny dying lights that watch impassively over every terrible thing in the world, and the flipside; stars as the burning kernels of hope, furious burning flames that parallel Harry and his golden-orange forest fire nature. Stars as the light of communism, the star-and-antlers. They're hope and dreams- a million years in the stars. Rockstars and superstars. The light of a brighter future (however short-term that future might be) coming towards them at the end of the tunnel. It makes me think of Sacred and Terrible Air and the light pollution in Vassa- ending light pollution as the world ends. "You may laugh at this, but in the evening, when the big world in the distance swells into a bloody maelstrom, families come out into the street in Vaasa and are insignificant together. Only distant explosions disturb the deep peace of the winter night, its flawless starry sky. Everyone watches, heads tilted back." The stars are a shared experience. Something that everyone watches, insignificant together, when there's nothing more that can be done. Light in the face of darkness, community in the face of inevitability. Togetherness. The stars are there in the church with the ravers. They're there watching Harry and Kim together. Insignificant together. In dark times, should the stars also go out?
#i'm collecting quotes for another thing and i just like all of these together idk#disco elysium#de rambling#my brain is so full of cotton wool rn so sorry if this is. garbled sddjjdsk#long post#i am really sorry for the incessant longposts#sacred and terrible air spoilers#pjõl spoilers#i guess? also very much oversimplifying there#i just. idk. i have feelings about that bit#it's the team ibex translation btw#stars manage to encapsulate both moralism and communism lol- inaction+distant observation versus fire and passion and feeling
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i do love (hate) it when Twitter users willingly misinterpret the most basic things like even though Relvin said to Imogen 'i think about you a lot' 'i hope wherever you are, you're happy' and 'horses miss you as much as i do' just because he did not outright say 'i love you' that means he sucks balls and NOT that he doesn't have to say it for Imogen to know he does
there's obvious things he could've done better with Imogen but it's pretty obvious that over the course of the campaign Imogen has come to understand that he tried his best given that he's already someone that tends to keep his emotions to himself AND Lilian just left (probably making him keep even more if himself to himself)
in conclusion i wish people would look at things with Relvin from a less black and white perspective. he's obviously not the best dad but at the end of the day it's clear he really loves Imogen. he's just not good at saying that.
#critical role#critrole#critical role campaign 3#campaign 3#imogen temult#relvin temult#relvin temult defense#i guess???#i didn't even think he would need it#but people are stupid#critical role c3#campaign 3 bells hells#bells hells#i'm not even too passionate about this#but tbh i find it constantly weird how some hate on Relvin but defend Liliana's every action#as if Liliana didn't leave Imogen when she was a baby (iirc#they're both equally complex characters#who are much more than just good or bad parents/people#but some people just want to boil them down to relvin bad liliana good
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What inspired you to make Eyhm?
..... y'know since i don't have to spend several hours putting more effort than necessary into drawing a Cat for this i might as well answer it already lmao 😅
but, well, i KINDA have gone into it before, long story short she's an OC i've had for a long time that i really like putting into other media i like, just for the fun of it really! plus i'm just a really big cat person so, of course i'm going to make an OC based off of my favorite animal 🤗but Pizza Tower's kinda the first time i feel like i've really made her fit into the universe she's in, so much so that i've basically shoved the non-AU version of her off to the waywide, and now the Pizza version of her IS her, more or less! plus i'm just really proud of the design i made for her, i feel like there's a lot more personality than the simple design i had for her in the past.
there's been a lot of changes and other stuff i've made for her over time as well, of course, i'll share a couple silly things here just because i feel like it. (putting under a readmore because, eh, i don't feel like bothering people who couldn't care less heh 💧)
well, i do have what i think is the second(???) time i ever tried drawing Eyhm in Pizza Tower's art style, you can tell the original design i had for her was a lot different though 😅 (also behold one of my first times drawing Peppino, i still didn't know how the heck i wanted to draw this Italian Man yet)
(... and yeah, some old backstory stuff i had for her that's a lot different than it is now, mostly the fact that she KNOWS that she used to be human more than anything. but i won't get into all that here 👍)
speaking of backstory stuff, fun fact. i was inspired to change up the lore and backstory ideas i had for her a while back, partially because i didn't like it, and also in part because i had a weird-ass dream with her in it. i barely remember much about it, besides one very important detail: it had Pizzahead running Eyhm over in a car.
no, i don't know why this is important. but i did make an edit of it. here you go.
is this important to her backstory at all? no. but for some reason it inspired me to change her. thank you Pizzahead Hitting a Small Cat with a Car Dream.
..... okay maybe i got a little off track here. but that's the price you pay for asking me about my Funny Little Guys 👍👍 anyways, back to trying to draw other people's Little Guys for the rest of the month, so long 👋
#whew. hello there. uhhh i get real passionate talking about my Little Guys i guess.#probably doesn't help that i've been writing again. my brain is filled to the brim with Pizza ideas 👀💧#am i sharing any writing on here? oh hell no. but rest assured i have Many Pizza Ideas buzzing around my head.#so uhh. cats. yeah. take them i guess.#don't let your cats outside or else a sentient pizza slice will run them over with his car 👍#eyhm stuff#uhhh i'm not tagging this as art. mostly because i am. not that happy with how i used to draw Pizza stuff 😓
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
#I'm ALSO going in and out of the hospital these past few weeks so im just bawling and crying and crying over losing this project just now#because it was due 3 days ago#and i cant finish it becvause i loste verything#im sorry to everyone reading this i just feel like an insane person#like if i tried to explain this to someone theyd just tell me to stop crying and to get over it#anyway cannot recommend adobe after effects any fucking less#never join advertising/film industry i guess?#im so miserable right now. AE is a constant crasher#i also got a new computer with 18RAM instead of 8RAM and it still did this#does anyone understand why i cant stop talking about this#it makes no logical sense that our industry relies on adobe THIS fucking much that a program that is KNOWN to crash often#is an industry standard i hate it here#its been 3 months of this#im in so much fucking physical pain thats why im going to the hospital and then i come home to this constantly#guys im so tired i hate Adobe with a passion i hate it so much#mod stuff#from kris p#may delete later but i have bad memory so ill forget and just never do that#when i say its fun im lying to you for masking/show. im lying
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years. YEARS!! of having garrus related banners, and mr mortadella broke the streak??? what has he done to me
#brought me joy and peace in life despite the horrors?? perhaps.#reinvoked the passion itself for making art?? perhaps....#but seriously neither blackwall or alistair or owen or gale got that honour but he made it??#i'm not about to add another name to my url (in all honestly I've been considering shortening it) but damn sir well done i guess#anyway yes that's what i call him for shits and giggles but i have another nickname for him that will be revealed with cursed art eventually
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This fandom is getting weirder and weirder and that is not a compliment.
#gp#sometimes some stuff should not be okay and should be left alone#it’s not about morality or policing but some shit should just…not be done.#sometimes there’s a line I guess#some stuff IS weird and not in a good way I'm sorry#because the people behind the screens are also not nice about it#this series is a curse and brings out the weirdest shit in people tbh#it’s not even that good to deserve this much passion and I enjoy those books a lot lol#but pls read something else and get back to reality I promise it’s okay lol#these characters are not even the best out there and again I love them#your fanon of these characters has made them into OCs at this point. we've deeply lost the plot in this fandom tbh.#idk what it is about this series that brings out unhinged energy from people but it’s not that deep. it doesn’t need all this#fandom wank
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Had a lot of easy and okay convos w my mom today (things did go well 👍) and one of them was passing by MECA (Maine College of Art) and her going "I always thought you'd end up going there" and like. A bit of lmfaoing at the idea I mean I barely managed to graduate highschool. Also that shit is expensiiiiiiive. A brief discussion about scholarships occurs but again I did not perform even decently academically. I barely could show up at all and when I did I was fighting for my fucking life. Nevertheless. I told her "Eh I make a lot of art on my own time, anyway!" and she goes "I'm sure you do" in sort of a wistful thoughtful tone and I tell her "I've kinda gotten more serious about comics lately" and she got nostalgic and enthusiastic like "I thought you'd end up doing that! You've always been doing that, since you were little" and it's a really really beautiful moment maybe but in the back of my mind I can't help but think. I'm just really autistic and weird about Alfonse Fire Emblem. And Sharena my friend Sharena. And I guess I have a lot of stories to tell about Moe and Mani and that IS something I'm extremely passionate about, but both are like inseparable like intrinsically intertwined by the fact that I'm just insane about the Askr siblings from hit mobile game Fire Emblem: Heroes.
#this isn't me talking down about it but like. well.#i. actually don't know what i'm trying to say. esp bc i wouldn't have moe and mani any other way#literally and also in my heart.#maybe it's just a weird mixture of going to the museum and like. like that convo happened on the way home#and the way i'm just constantly extremely passionate about any and all the art i make.#like. i have a lot to say. it's very important to me. but it's also important to me that like.#i don't know. i'm just having fun. i'm doing things shoddy at times. i'm fucking around and finding out.#idk age old 'if only you applied even a quarter of this level of interest at xyz' nagging at me. and i get it. i get it.#but at the same time. my art isn't meant to go in a museum or be evaluated by a professor#my art is meant for me first and foremost and secondly it's for like minded strange individuals on tumblr dot com.#only saying strange bc it's. kind of a prerequisite. to enjoy my work. i think. you have to be kinda odd. guessing. maybe.#or at very least okay with me being odd.#idk i've just always been chronically doing my own thing. to my own detriment. but i literally cannot be any other way.#i really have no idea what i'm trying to say i don't wanna seem like i'm talking down artists who manage to do All That either#like. obviously. it's an impressive feat. evocative. ect. really really cool.#but man. i also just have never lasted more than three weeks in any art class. i have ALWAYS immediately#dropped any and ALL art classes i've been in.#i have hostile stubborn asshole autism. i fucking guess. i have to do it my way or else autism. evil autism.#i really really don't have a point here. don't expect anything from me. ever.
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i think there's something to be said about what exactly it means to be "non-human" in a story that is as much about humanity as wolf 359 is, where even the dear listeners are defined less by their own perspective and more by what they fail to understand and therefore reflect about the human perspective - to the point that they don't even have their own voices or faces or identities that aren't either given to them or taken from humans. they speak to humanity as a mirror.
even pryce and cutter are "very much humans" - pryce defined by her resentment of and desire to transcend its limitations, and cutter by his aspirations to redefine and create a "better" type of human - and find the idea that they might not be human laughable. it's interesting that they have distinctly transhumanist aspirations when their goal is the narrative opposite of common science fiction fears: that we will expand the definition of humanity so much that we'll lose whatever it is that makes us human. pryce and cutter's transhumanism narrows the definition of humanity to the worthy and the useful, as defined by them; "there will still be a humanity; it'll just be our humanity."
in direct opposition to that, i think it's meaningful that the show instead expands the definition of humanity in ways that include lovelace and hera, who in another show with different themes might be considered (in the descriptive, non-moralistic sense) non-human. i will always make a point of saying that personhood and humanity are two often-related but meaningfully distinct concepts, especially when talking about sci-fi and fantasy. i am talking about humanity.
the question of how hera identifies, and what social pressures influence that, is a complicated one. i've talked about it before and i will talk about again. what's important for the purposes of this post is that i think the show considers her fundamentally human. think about her role in shut up and listen - consider jacobi's lion example and the concept of different paradigms - that even things that are close to humans, comparatively speaking, understand the world in different ways. whatever differences hera may have from the others, it's primarily in experience, not fundamental understanding. she shares their emotions, their concerns, their values, their thought patterns. she has an appreciation for music, which the show considers a hallmark of humanity. she fits within the framework of humanity as the show defines and is, in her own words, left feeling "uneasy" about how difficult it might be to communicate with beings who don't. and it's significant that this takes place in shut up and listen, of all episodes, specifically because the way she is clearly and unambiguously included in the show's understanding of what it means to be human highlights the ways she and lovelace are othered by eiffel's careless comments that suggest otherwise.
(i don't want to get too into these details for this particular post, but it's worth noting that hera will refer to 'humans' as a category, often when she is upset and feeling isolated, but has never said that she 'isn't human' - she has never been upset that people are treating her 'too' human. i've seen it said about the line "you need to get it through your heads that what goes for you doesn't always go for me", but that's a frustration related to ability and safety, not identity. far more often, she will refer to herself in 'human' terms - referring idiomatically to experiences or body parts etc. that she doesn't literally have - and is upset primarily with comments referring to her status as an AI. it does not diminish how being an AI influences her perspective and experience, but again, so much of that is in terms of ability that it feels almost inseparable from a discussion about disability.)
lovelace's humanity and hera's humanity are so interlinked and directly paralleled in the text that i think it's impossible to really argue one of them is "not" human without making implications about the other. in desperate measures, lovelace tells kepler he's "not human" and he responds "you're hilarious. on a multitude of levels." later, defending lovelace against kepler's repeated dehumanization, hera very pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." in out of the loop, hera says she's never met anyone who "worked so hard at being inhuman" as jacobi, who says "what do you know about being human?" hera very emphatically responds, "i know plenty." later, defending hera against jacobi's repeated dehumanization, minkowski pointedly uses the phrase "that woman." with the care taken towards language and the way scenes and turns of phrase will parallel each other, that's not a coincidence. it might seem strange to have the "non-human" characters be the ones to express criticisms based on perceived "humanity" (something hera will do in other contexts as well - "we don't have funerals for animals" etc.) but in the broader context of the show, i think it's the point.
so, whether hera would ever call herself human, or be comfortable with that, is a complicated question for another time and depends on a lot of other factors. but wolf 359 is a show about humanity, it includes her within its definition of what it means to be human, and i wouldn't be comfortable definitively saying she's not human because of that. it can't be a neutral statement within the particular context of this show.
#wolf 359#w359#hera wolf 359#there are so many concepts here that could be posts on their own#but this is already too long. sorry.#i think it's also worth noting how often i see the discussion of hera and humanity conflated with the discussion of#whether hera would want a body and while i think there's some degree of influence in that. if she has human experiences without human form#there's something uniquely isolating about that that could influence her decision. BUT. the form she exists or doesn't exist in#is separate from whether the show includes her within its 'in group' of humanity. which thematically it does.#hera can be considered equally human without ever having any type of physical form. that's part of expanding the definition#and i think that's an important distinction.#anyway sorry i'm kind of passionate about this it just. doesn't quite sit right with me i guess#in a lot of cases i think it's important to acknowledge that non-human characters have different experiences from human ones and#a lot of science fiction will (or should) decentralize the human experience. but it's core to the themes of wolf 359. it's different.#i think hera is so interesting as a take on the 'human AI' character because. the mistake a lot of them make is having a character#'learn how to be human' and it feels patronizing. but hera is. a fundamentally human person who has been told she isn't#and internalized that. and i think that's much more complex and. well. human. i know she's just a fictional character but#i can't help but feel a little defensive sometimes#it's also part of a larger discussion but feeling inhuman is a not uncommon human experience. it is within those bounds
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🌈 🫘 for the writing goal ask!!!!!
🌈 What research do you plan on doing for your writing?
I have been reading so much more about horses and horse care than I need to. And I'm not a complete stranger to horses.
I'm also always looking into what technology existed and what didn't in the bronze age, including things we don't think of as technology. I've given this example before, but the reason they used chariots is because they hadn't learned about stirrups yet, because the Chinese hadn't invented them yet. What foods had been invented is also something that I always end up in a rabbit hole about. It's not just about whether trade existed--had that cultivar been domesticated yet? Had they already learned the process for making whatever? The Greeks had an old, old form of pasta that would eventually evolve into lasagna, but pasta as a common dish as we think of it now wouldn't be imported from the East for hundreds of years even though they had the necessary components.
🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?
You know, one thing I like about writing is I don't know what's coming my way. I have four major WIPs to finish, two that are very close to the end, but who knows what inspiration will strike next? I certainly didn't see Broken Oaths coming at the beginning of last year. I also wouldn't be opposed to finding a new obsession to write about, and how can I anticipate that?
#the thing is if I'm passionate about a project I'm writing it RIGHT NOW#idk how people save projects for the future#my brain doesn't work like that#I guess I hope whatever new project overtakes me waits to find me until I've finished one of these WIPs
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New job jitters never really go away, do they?
Sunday was my last shift at the job I've been trying to get away from for over a year & a half, and today I start a new (but in the same field) job at a place I've been trying to get my foot-in-the-door for just as long lol.
Technically I'm ridiculously experienced in what I'm going to be doing starting out, but HA HA OH BOY that really doesn't reassure the anxiety brain gremlins.
#🎃 Cryptid sighting#I guess I just would have assumed I’d feel more confident about all of this at my age :/#It's partially why I've been more scarce around here lately#Well … *even more* scarce#The old job was so abrasive & demoralizing (thanks to upper management bs) that it was really wearing me thin#I mean there have been a lot of things going on that have been zapping my social energy but that was a big one#I'm going to miss the crew I worked directly with- including a couple of my favorite direct supervisors ever#But this job at least has the potential to get me closer to the sort of natural sciences work I want to do by proximity#So a step in a better direction if not the right direction#Also the work environment has most of my previous jobs beat :)#I’m hoping the change of scenery & hopefully being around people who are passionate about *anything* will inject some life back in me
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i could never get into the mm ships, i just don't care. always stood out to me bc my friend group before high school was all weebs and yaoi was basically their sexual awakening. i literally could not be less impassioned about men's penises touching
#i guess technically i'm passionate about their right to touch penises but like the act itself means nothing to me#ohhhh i finally just looked this up. they are fujoshis. i see
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