#i guess i shouldn’t feel guilty for not knowing when I didn’t have access to know but still

[welcometohighwater]

now that i’ve been able to really hook up to power for a bit (my brother’s house got it restored) and take a look at the news? jesus. yeah counties in the upstate had 100% power outages, but wnc. my god. asheville, yeah, but also the more special little places, hendersonville, lake lure, chimney rock, boone. they’re gone. those people have lost everything and more. i still can’t find out as much as i want because still no wifi but what i have seen is so, so much worse than i realized. we’re still waiting too to hear from my uncle about his home (fortunately i guess they were out of town, so at least they’re safe)

[sluttywonwoo]

instead of you [part eight] || l.mh

pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 

warnings: swearing, mentions of sex (18+ mdni), nausea (but no getting sick)

word count: 3.1k

a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!! ; i know minho is the chef of the group but just suspend your disbelief for this series and pretend it’s jisung

series masterlist | early access to the next chapter on ko-fi

You froze like you had been caught doing something you shouldn’t have, even though what was happening was completely innocent. Wasn’t it? Minho was acting like it was. He hadn’t even faltered in his work, still lathering sunscreen underneath the band of your swimsuit like nothing was happening.

Jisung stepped into the light, one hand shielding his eyes from the sun.

“What did I miss?” he repeated, staring directly into your eyes.

Minho spoke before you got the chance. “Nothing. Want to take over?”

“Gladly.”

Jisung’s older brother stood from where he had been sitting behind you and wiped the remaining sunscreen from his hands onto your shoulders so that Jisung could finish rubbing it in. The two switched spots, and you relaxed the tiniest bit when you felt Jisung settle behind you. His warm hands replaced Minho’s cold ones as he began covering the spots his brother had missed. They were both gentle, but you didn’t feel the same spark of energy underneath Jisung’s fingertips as you did Minho’s. Instead you felt comfort, familiarity, and the tension started to subside from your body.

“Make sure you get my neck,” you reminded your best friend quietly, still feeling slightly guilty about what had gone down just moments before.

“I know what to do,” he replied, a hint of amusement edged into his tone. “You don’t think I forgot about how easily you burn, do you?”

“You’re one to talk.”

Jisung put a hand to his chest, feigning offense. “My own girlfriend, so cruel.”

You shrugged. “You knew what you got into when you started dating me. You know I’m not nice.”

“Being nice is overrated,” he said simply, hands traveling down to your lower back. “You may not be nice, but you’re kind and that’s what’s important.”

You wished you could turn to see his face, but you were stuck in the position you were in, facing away from him.

“What’s the difference?” you asked.

“You know, like Ellen Degeneres is a nice person, but not a kind one? And some people say Gordon Ramsay is kind, but we all know he isn’t nice.”

You thought about it for a moment. “I guess that makes sense.”

“Of course it does.” Jisung tapped your arm twice. “All done.”

“Do you need me to do you?” you offered.

“No, I put some on before coming out here.”

You nodded, unsure what to do now that you were all coated in sunblock. Then it dawned on you. This was the perfect opportunity to turn your fake relationship up a notch in front of Jisung’s family. Nothing too dramatic, just some casual intimacy.

You began to lean backwards and Jisung took your cue, stretching out on the lounge chair behind you so that you could rest on top of him. You laid your head on his chest and pulled your book back out of your bag while Jisung threaded his fingers through your hair.

You listened to the steady beat of his heart and the sound of the waves crashing against the side of the boat as you read, both eventually fading into the background as you lost yourself in the pages of your book.

-

You hadn’t even realized you had drifted off until you were being shaken awake. Strong hands gripped your shoulders, shook you once, then let go.

You opened your eyes to see Minho standing above you, hands on his hips and a smile on his face.

“Wanna play a drinking game?”

“Wha-” you sat up and looked around. You were alone on the chair, you weren’t sure when Jisung had left. “Where’s Ji?”

“He’s helping with the dishes.”

“The dishes- did I miss dinner?”

“Kinda, but we saved you some leftovers.”

You rubbed your eyes, trying to focus on Minho. It had gotten dark so it was harder to see. Pink and purple hues still lingered on the horizon but they were quickly being overtaken by the stars and their inky black cloak.

“Why didn’t anyone wake me up?”

Minho shrugged. “Jisung told us not to,” he replied. “So are you in or not?”

“Yeah, sure I’ll play,” you agreed.

“Great.”

Minho held out a hand to help you up and you accepted. He hoisted you up with more force than you were expecting, so much so that you were falling in the other direction. He caught you before you slammed your face into his bare chest, thank god. As if you hadn’t already had enough awkward encounters with your best friend’s brother.

“Easy, there,” he chuckled.

“Sorry.”

“You can’t be falling over before we’ve even started drinking!”

You just laughed and let him lead you down the steps to the lower deck. There was a ping-pong table on one side of the enclosed patio and a foosball table on the other. In the middle sat an outside dining table littered with half-full glasses of various beverages. Felix was seated there scrolling on his phone, but he smiled when he saw you and pocketed it.

“Long time, no see,” he said with a smirk. “Did you get sunburned?”

“No, Jisung reapplied her sunscreen before we played soccer, remember?” Minho answered for you.

He had? You had no memory of that, obviously. And they had played soccer? Damn, you had really underestimated your ability to sleep through everything.

“Oh, right,” Felix said, sounding a little disappointed. Jerk.

“I can see you got some sun, though,” you shot back, returning his little grin. He covered his red cheeks self-consciously and glared at you. “Now I can’t tell if you’re blushing or not.”

“Jisung, your girlfriend is bullying me!” Felix hollered through the open sliding glass door.

“Good.” You relaxed a little when your best friend appeared in the entryway. He grinned at you and his twin. “Glad to see you two getting along.”

You joined Jisung by his side and kissed him once on the lips. He tensed the tiniest bit, imperceptible to everyone but you, the only indicator that gave away his surprise. He recovered by pulling you closer and wrapping an arm around your waist before breaking away.

“So,” he said, keeping his hand on your hip nonchalantly, “what are we playing?”

“Fun Facts.”

“What’s that?” you asked.

“Everyone gets a few strips of paper and writes down facts about themselves that no one else in the group knows,” Minho explained. “We crumple them all up, put them in a bowl and each take turns picking facts out and reading them out loud. When it’s your turn, you have to match the fact to the person who wrote it. If you’re right, they drink. If you’re wrong, you drink.”

“That’s not fair, you guys have known each other all your lives!” you complained.

“And we don’t know anything about you,” Minho countered, “aside from Jisung. I think that levels the playing field.”

“Whatever,” you mumbled.

“She’s competitive,” Jisung added with a squeeze to your side.

“Couldn’t tell,” Minho mused with a smirk.

You took a seat at the table across from Felix while Jisung made you both a drink. Minho sat next to you and when Jisung returned he sat on your other side. Felix folded sheets of notebook paper into thin sections and ripped them up before passing them around the table along with a pen for everybody.

As soon as everyone had a drink and some paper in front of them Minho set a timer on his phone and everyone began brainstorming their facts.

You tried to think of things about yourself that Jisung didn’t know, but came up short. You had no filter when it came to him. You always told him everything, even when he didn’t want to hear it.

He knew about your dating life, your sex life, your daddy issues. You texted him updates every time you got a UTI. There was practically nothing he didn’t know about you so you knew you had to dig deep. Minho and Felix were done with theirs before you had even gotten to your second fact.

At least you could take comfort in the fact that Minho was struggling too. His pen hovered above an empty strip of paper like he was waiting for the answer to write itself. He had two folded and off to the side already, but had reached a breaking point.

You both also had to consider what you couldn’t tell his brothers. Things that would mess with the timeline you had so carefully constructed or create suspicion about your relationship.

Minho’s timer went off and he looked up at you expectantly. “Everyone ready?”

The rest of you nodded and passed Minho their slips. You could only hope the facts you chose were good enough, and that they wouldn’t get you into any trouble. He grabbed the decorative glass bowl from the middle of the table and replaced the ceramic pieces of fruit with the crumpled paper. He mixed the contents with his hand and then offered the bowl to you.

“Guests first.”

You took the bowl from his hands and plucked a fact strip from the mix.

“I cried on my first date.”

You scanned the faces around the table, trying to see if their expressions gave it away, but they were unreadable. The boys were smiling at each other, making faces, it was impossible to discern who it could be about.

You ruled out Jisung because he had told you about his first date before. The details were fuzzy, but you knew he didn’t cry. All you remembered was that he had gotten to touch the girls boobs, but then her mom walked in on them and kicked him out.

That left you with either Felix or Minho. You didn’t know much about either of them so you decided to go with your gut.

“Minho.”

He looked at you with wide eyes. “How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess.”

“Bro, come on,” Felix chided, shoving his older brother.

“Okay, this is why I didn’t tell you guys. I knew you’d give me shit for it!”

“Yeah, because you deserve it.”

“In my defense, we went to see a Pixar movie,” he explained. “I was done for before the title sequence even played.”

“That’s your fault for picking Pixar,” Jisung insisted.

“Trust me, I know.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Minho?” you asked. He gave you a blank stare, blinking at you in confusion until you made a drinking motion with your hand. “Drink up.”

“Right. Cheers.”

He raised his glass then took a big sip. You passed the bowl to Jisung. He picked one from the top and read it aloud.

“I didn’t read a single book that was assigned in school. Easy. Felix.”

“Hey!”

“Drink. I’m right.”

“How’d you know it was me?” Felix demanded.

“We took all of the same classes, dumbass. You were always cheating off of me.”

Felix reluctantly took a sip of his drink and grabbed the glass bowl from Jisung.

“When I was in sixth grade my mom caught me looking up ‘boobs’ on the family computer.”

“Classic,” Jisung said while his twin brother shook his head. “Rookie mistake.”

Felix surveyed all of the players before picking. “Minho.”

Minho shook his head. “I was never caught.”

“So who is it?”

You smiled sheepishly and raised your hand. “It was me.”

“What?”

“Not proud of it, but yeah,” you admitted. “That’s not even the only time it happened to me either.”

“What do you mean?” Jisung cried. “Please tell me your mom didn’t catch you twice.”

“No one taught me how to erase your search history!” you said defensively.

“But you didn’t learn your lesson the first time?”

You ducked your head. “No.”

Jisung was doubled over with laughter at that point and you were sinking further and further in your chair. So far yours was the most embarrassing one and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to live it down.

“What was the other time?” Minho asked boldly.

You muttered the answer under your breath.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Looking up ‘girls kissing’,” you mumbled again, this time loud enough for them to hear.

“You’re fucking kidding,” Felix gasped in awe.

“I wish I was- anyway, Felix drink.”

The bowl was passed around the table a few more times and you finally got to drink on Jisung’s turn when he correctly guessed that you were the one to have slept with a nightlight until you graduated high school. You knew that drinking on an empty stomach was probably a bad idea, but you’d also been going to college for enough years to know your limit. So you thought.

It was your turn again. The game was down to the last four slips and Minho was winning by one. This was your chance to tie the game.

“I slept with a girl whose name I never learned and still don’t know,” you read before answering automatically. “Minho.”

He made the most sense to you, he was the movie star. You were sure he’d have to have done it at least once, if not multiple times. But he shook his head no.

“What?”

“Drink up, babe,” Jisung said, smiling almost victoriously.

“What the fuck?” Your anger slipped out before you could stop it. Jisung was always chastising you for sleeping with strangers but apparently he had been doing the same thing all along. You chugged the rest of your drink bitterly to make a point. Perhaps it was a bit too fast for your own good, but you didn’t care.

You knew Jisung was tired of picking you up from one night stands, tired of warning you of the dangers of going home with someone you didn’t know. You knew he worried about you and that he had your best interest in mind, but you couldn’t help but feel judged every time you were on the receiving end of one of his lectures. Sure, it was more dangerous for women to have casual sex than it was for men, but that didn’t change the fact that Jisung was taking part in upholding the double standard.

“It was before we got together, obviously,” Jisung reasoned. His smile had fallen from his face.

“I should hope so!”

“Baby,” he whispered, reaching for your hand. You fought the urge to pull away. “Y/n, it was a long time ago.”

“It’s still an asshole thing to do.”

He knew you weren’t talking about the name thing anymore. You wondered if his brothers had caught on too.

“I know.”

You stared at him for another moment, ignoring all of the things he was trying to tell you with his eyes. “I need some air.”

You stood from your seat and made your way back up the stairs to the top deck. You had already been outside, but you needed to put some distance in between yourself and Jisung before you said anything you might have regretted.

You leaned against one of the railings and watched the dark water churn below, thinking about what might lie beneath the surface. The salty air was refreshing, just what you needed. You took a few deep breaths to try and slow your racing pulse. You didn’t think you had ever been so mad at Jisung, and the thought frightened you. It was over something so… arguably inconsequential too. Something that had happened years ago. Why make a big deal out of it?

Most of the lights on the boat had been turned off by now, making the stars look like they had been multiplied tenfold. You had gone stargazing with Jisung and your other friends a couple of times back at home, but none of those experiences compared to this. You remembered packing up Jisung’s car with blankets and booze one of you had bought off of an upperclassman, maybe a joint or two if you were feeling fancy, and driving out to the lake near campus. Your friends called it Corpse Lake because one time detectives had found a body in it. It was only once, but it was enough to earn it the nickname.

You and your friends were the only people ever there in the dead of night, laying your blankets in the sand and drinking cheap beer as you listened to music and got high. You liked it because of how dark it was. The closest lights were all the way across the lake which made it an ideal spot for stargazing. You remembered thinking no night sky would ever beat that one. Boy, how you had been wrong.

The sound of footsteps approached behind you and you turned around, ready to tell Jisung off, but it was Minho.

“I, uh, wanted to check on you,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

He’d changed out of his swimsuit into sweats. Meanwhile you were still wearing your bikini and it was starting to get cold.

“Did Jisung send you?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Does it matter?” he asked. “One of us cares about you.”

You sighed. “I know I’m overreacting, and I feel bad for making a scene-”

“Hey,” Minho interrupted softly, “you didn’t do any of that.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I’m not just saying it,” he insisted. You didn’t respond. “I promise. You have every right to be upset. Jisung was out of line.”

“Why do I feel like there’s going to be a ‘but’?”

Minho smiled. “Because he’s my little brother and I have to defend him even when he doesn’t deserve it. But you know that happened a long time ago, and I think he’s not that kind of person anymore.”

“I know he’s not,” you agreed.

“Oh.” Minho sounded surprised.

“It’s just…” I am.

“It’s just what?”

You knew you couldn’t tell him. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to tell him even if you weren’t supposed to be dating his brother. Old feelings, old secrets, the shame associated with sexuality and sexual expression were threatening to surface again and you felt it was something you needed to hide. You had gotten so good at talking openly about it, so good at embracing it- but now you were forcing yourself back into a box based on what you thought a perfect girlfriend was. You felt dizzy.

“Y/n?” Minho prompted when you didn’t answer, concern etched across his features.

“I’m, um, I’m actually not feeling very well,” you admitted and clutched the railing even harder. “I think I’m going to throw up.”

Minho’s eyes widened in both panic and realization. “You never had those leftovers did you?” You shook your head. “Alright, c’mere,” he said and peeled you off of the balcony, slinging your arm around his neck like you were a wounded soldier. “Let’s go to the kitchen and get you a snack or something.”

“Okay,” you agreed quietly and let him lead you back inside.

sorry for the break! lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

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[ray-ray-writings]

Visiting Hemlock-Dream

This is a Dream x gn!reader in the dreamsmp! Small thing, hemlock is another type of poison. It is actually the poison that the Greek philosopher Socrates was forced to consume after he was found guilty in his trail. 

Masterlist here

This is a part two to Sweet as Cyanide (here), so if you haven’t read that yet you can check it out . Don’t worry. I’ll wait…..

All good? Okay here we go!

Y/N is finally able to visit Dream in prison. 

Y/N’s POV

“Are you sure about this? You know no one would blame you if you never wanted to see him again,” Niki questioned, a soft hand resting on my shoulder. I had to force myself not to roll my eyes and scoff. Instead, I settled for a fake shy smile and a small head nod, “I know Nik. But I really want to see him. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it,” I explained, hoping desperately she would leave it at that. Niki gave me a pitiful smile as she nodded, giving my arm a tight squeeze. “I know what you mean… I’ll be right here when you get out,” She assured, wrapping her arms around me in a quick hug before taking a few steps back. “Thanks Niki. I’ll see you in a bit,” I claimed softly before turning toward the prison. I took a deep breath before making my way to the entrance. 

I let out a deep breath as I reached up and pressed the button, letting Sam know I was there. A noise sounded letting me know I could enter and pass through the grid. I was greeted by Sam at his desk.  “Hey Y/N” Sam greeted me, holding a stack of papers. “Hey Sam,” I greeted back, my eyes scanning around the place. “This looks really nice,” I complimented the warden on his build. “Thank you!” He beamed, handing the papers he held to me. “These are just waiver you need to sign. They basically say that you release the prison from all responsibility if you get hurt and that that responsibility falls on the prisoner you are visiting.” He explained, handing me a pen. I hummed and quickly scanned the documents before signing them. 

Sam quickly took them and tucked them away in his desk before standing up and moving out from behind the desk. “Alright. We’re good to move on.” I followed him out of the room and into a room full of chests. “Please put all your things in this chest here,” He asked, motioning to a chest near the door. I gave him a nod before quickly emptying my inventory. Once I was done, I turned and proved to Sam that there was nothing left on my person. Sam gave me a smile and a nod before we moved on once more. 

My excitement grew as we walked down the path I had only been down once before. My hands seemed to shake at the sight of the lava wall that hid my boyfriend from my view. “Hey, if you’re too nervous to do this, you can turn back around. You don’t have to see him,” Sam comforted, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. He was taking my excitement as nerves… good. I took a deep breath and gave him a shy smile, “I’m okay Sam, really. I want to see him,” I assured the tall man. “Okay… Do you want me to stay here with you or go back to the cams?” Sam questioned, still unsure if he should leave me alone with ‘the monster’. “You can go watch on the cams. I’ll be fine, even if something were to happen you could be back here in a flash,” I claimed with a small smile. 

Sam gave me a small nod, “Alright, here you go.” Sam reached over to the wall and pressed the button that controlled the lava. Slowly, the lava stopped falling, revealing my love. I felt my breath catch in my throat at the sight of the blonde boy that had my whole heart. The iron bars fell allowing me free access to Dream. Sam gave me a pat on the back before he disappeared out the door. 

I wasted no more time and ran to Dream. A smile, a real smile, formed on his face as I raced toward him. Our bodies crashed together with the swift motion, my arms wrapping around his neck, his around my waist. I squeezed him tightly as I buried my face in his neck. I couldn’t help the tears that fell from my eyes and onto his skin. “I missed you so much bub,” I cried into his neck. “Shhh, love,” he murmured, rubbing one hand up and down my back, holding me close. 

“I missed you too. I’ve been so lonely here. I’ve missed your sweet words, your gorgeous face. I miss waking up next to you every morning. I love you so much,” he muttered into my ear, pressing a kiss to my temple. His words shocked me a bit. Yes, I love Dream and he loves me, but he almost never acted like this. “I’ve missed everything about you. I miss your kisses and cuddles. I miss the way you’d threaten everyone for even looking at me in the wrong way. I’ve missed going to sleep next to you, cuddling and waking up the same way. I love you so much too,” I muttered back. 

Dream pulled away slightly, just enough to face me before crashing his lips into mine. My eyes fluttered closed as I completely melted into the kiss and into my boyfriend. I missed my love so much. I missed feeling his lips on mine. His gentle touches, his sweet smiles, his manipulation of everyone around us. He’s mine and I am his, no matter what and no matter where. 

Dream was the one to pull away from our kiss. “God I’ve missed that,” He announced, grinning from ear to ear. I couldn’t help but giggle and return the grin, “I’ve missed that too.” Dream slowly unwrapped himself from me, but quickly reached out and took my hand. He walked me over to his bed. He let go of my hand before sitting down on his bed, resting his back against the wall. I raised my eyebrow at his actions but he simply patted his lap telling me to sit down. I giggled and rolled my eyes at the action, but obeyed. I quickly moved my legs so that there was one on either side of his thighs and I sat on his lap. Once again, my arms moved to wrap around his neck and his came to wrap around my voice. 

“So,” Dream began once we got settled, “How’s it going out in the free world?” Dream asked, teasingly. I could tell that he was both asking about the server, but was also making a joke about the fact everyone thought that I was now ‘free’ from his control. “It’s all fine, I guess. You were right. Everyone began coddling me the second that prison door slammed behind me. I’ve been staying with Niki because they think going back to our house is too painful for me,” I informed Dream, who simply scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

“The more important thing though,” I started, lowering my voice a lot as to not have it picked up by the cameras, “I can’t get a hold of Technoblade. No one has seen him, or at least not that they’re telling me. I went to his house and he wasn’t there, I went to Phil’s house and he said he hadn't seen him. But I’ll keep looking. I’m going to get you out of here.” I promised my boyfriend quietly. Dream’s brow furrowed, “That’s really odd. Especially since Philza hasn’t seen him… He must remember he owes me that favorite. But you have my full trust, love. I know you’ll make me proud.” 

My heart swelled at his words. It was so comforting to hear that. Even though weeks ago, he promised me it wasn’t my fault he was here, I could help but still feel guilty about it. Especially because I had to pretend that I was happy he was gone. I didn’t respond with words, instead leaning forward and pressing my face into the side of his neck and pressing a small kiss there. “I love you.” “I love you too.” 

The rest of the time we spent together was in that position.  I told him about all the new structures that were being built around the server. I told him about how everyone was working together but there was definitely still some tension. Dream didn’t seem surprised at that at all. Dream told me about his days at the prison. He had a small clock gifted to his by Sam. He admitted to me that he would sometimes throw his clock out of his cell into the lava so Sam would come in and bring him a new one, allowing Dream to have some form of human contact. He got three meals a day, but he claimed none have ever been good as my cooking, that made me blush. Dream spent most of his day thinking about me and the things he would be doing if he wasn’t locked up. He kept a little journal in order to keep himself sane. 

In a much quieter tone, Dream also told me of the little things he’s noticed about the prison. How the lava always takes a few seconds before it begins its descent. Dream told me he knew that the redstone sometimes would misfire and Sam would have to take the time to fix it. Sometimes it only took a few minutes but there were also times he’d be gone for many hours. Dream also spoke of where he thinks the elder guardian that causes mining fatigue was being held. I listened very carefully to what he was telling me. Sam is an excellent builder, even better engineer, but nobody was perfect and it sounds like to me that Dream was slowly but surely finding Pandora’s Achilles heel.

It felt so good to be in Dream’s arms again though, even in this circumstance. In the many years we’ve been dating, I’ve never been away from Dream for that long before and it was really hard. Which explains why I was so excited for this visit… But alas, all good things must come to an end. 

“Times up Y/N…” Sam called softly from the platform behind us. I looked over my shoulder and gave the man a nod in acknowledgement. I turned back to Dream, leaned forward and pressed a swift kiss to his lips. “Goodbye my love,” I whispered to the blonde man, tears threatening to fall again from my eyes. A smile appeared on his lips, “Goodbye love,” He returned at the same level. I slowly got off of my boyfriend and walked away from Dream. Once I was out of the cell, I turned back around to face Dream, who had also stood up from his bed “I’ll be back soon,” I promised the blonde boy who remained in his cell. A small chuckle left his lips as the iron bars enclosed him once more, “I’ll be here.” 

With that, I took a few more steps back to stand next to Sam. I gave my boyfriend a small wave as Sam pressed the button to make the lava begin pouring from the ceiling. I could see Dream's sad smile as he waved back at me and then he was gone. 

“You okay?” Sam asked gently, a hand resting on my shoulder. “Yeah,” I sniffed, reaching up and wiping at my eyes, “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Thank you for letting me see him,” I thanked, changing the topic. Sam gave me a soft look as he nodded, “Of course. You’re always welcome to come back. I can even show you around to other rooms if you ever want.” I nodded at his words. “That sounds really cool. I’d love to see them. I’d love to see this whole place,” I told him as cooly as I could. The one thing I could not do right now was raise suspicion. “When we get back to the front desk we can set a time and date!” He offered cheerfully. Once again I nodded, this time a bright smile beaming across my face. “I’d like that. 

I couldn’t help but mentally chuckle at the situation though. I don’t know why after all this time everyone still thinks I’m just so sweet and innocent. Sam offering to show me around like a father would show his child around his work place on bring your kid to work day simply confirmed that thought even more. Little does he know how hard it’s going to bite him in the butt. I’m going to get my boyfriend out of this Pandora’s Vault…. If it’s the last thing I do. 

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! If so, be sure to leave a like! Maybe even reply or a reblog?

[professional-idiocy]

To be Forgotten

So uh yeah I wrote a tiny little thing based on this prompt by @the-three-whumpeteers. Took some creative liberties and we now have a naïve Superhero and said Superhero is the reason Supervillain is there in the first place :3

CW: non-con drugging, implied starvation, a pinch dehumanization, institutionalized whump, shitty authorities, torture referred to as a way to "help" someone. Just a lot of shitty things.

Superhero was curious how these rehabilitation centers worked, the results were always advertised as amazing or some other positive adjective, but he’d never seen how they worked.

Superhero came to a halt when the hallway split into two, the left one was an unnamed hallway leading elsewhere, but the right one was labeled as “special care” and Superhero couldn’t help but to be curious. The director told the news how Supervillain, his nemesis, who he had arrested a year ago. Director said he would be here and in good hands getting the help he needed.

He took the right and continued on. The halls looked plain reminding him of a hospital with less life and more like a storage unit. But that was probably temporary. The doors on each side held a nametag and a number. Most were empty until he stopped at the one labeled, “25 – Supervillain”

He took the card he’d been given at the desk that gave him free access to look around before carefully opening the door. The room was so empty and lifeless, just like the halls. Maybe Supervillain hadn’t gotten to decorate it yet. Superhero mused only for his eyes to land on the small pile in the corner. He got closer only to see it moving before freezing in shock.

The pile in the corner was Supervillain. He’d never seen Supervillain look so lifeless before. He was always dramatic, witty and energetic, but this felt wrong. Maybe Supervillain was just sleeping. That didn’t explain the lack of furniture or him not even having a simple blanket or a bed.

He walked over and crouched next to Supervillain who didn’t even react, he was always so alert when they fought. He tried to shak­­­­e supervillain awake only to get a pained groan in response. This wasn’t normal.

What had happened?

Was Supervillain sick?

Wouldn’t they have taken him to the infirmary if he was?

Maybe he’d gotten sick recently and no one had found out yet.

But shouldn’t they check up on him?

This wouldn’t just come in a few hours.

Supervillain needed medical help because this wasn’t normal. He tried to pick Supervillain up only to see small puncture marks accompanied by bruises, some old and some new. Usually, you’d see that on drug users… but Supervillain wasn’t one and even if he was, he wouldn’t be allowed access to them here.

There was something wrong.

He picked the dazed Supervillain up, surprised at how light and bony he was. Supervillain struggled weakly nearly making Superhero drop him. Only for him to hold Supervillain tighter and closer, making him go pliant with a grunt of pain before a slurred apology slipped out, from Supervillain of all people.

Superhero rushed out of the room trying to find the infirmary to get supervillain help, only to freeze at the realization.

They weren’t helping Supervillain at all.

They were only keeping him drugged in a small cell, even lacking the necessities.

Supervillain was kept drugged up under the guise of helping him.

He needed to save his nemesis.

Superhero ran through the halls following the path he’d come from. He couldn’t believe they were doing this. They were supposed to help villains integrate back into normal society. No wonder many never got out of here. They were stored away in here, to be forgotten. No one cared about them and he- he had helped them do it.

“Well, I never guessed you’d react like this. Then again, you were always a naïve, goody two shoes. So, I really shouldn’t be surprised” Director said making Superhero turn around. Director stalked closer watching him like a hawk, her laugh sending chills down Superhero’s spine. He tightened the grip on his nemesis protectively, who only mumbled in response.

Superhero took a defensive stance, before speaking up. “I’m keeping him and if you won’t let me. It won't be pretty”

“Did you know he used to tell me you would save him? He trusted you to rescue him. It was adorable, a monster thinking they deserved to be rescued” Superhero looked shocked clutching his nemesis closer. Supervillain had believed he’d rescue him? Most importantly, Supervillain had trusted he'd rescue him. He had left Supervillain here for a year.

“Feeling guilty yet?” She asked as Superhero felt like he'd been shot. He had failed. He had let Supervillain down. “Thought so. Tell you what, you can keep Supervillain if you don’t speak about this”

“Yes, but I’m a hero and I can’t let you get away with this” Superhero said steeling his resolve holding onto Supervillain protectively, ready to fight if needed.

“You can always try, but when you fail. That’s when the real fun starts”

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Chapter 9

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

He meets her in the hallway just outside the autopsy bay. She’s changed from scrubs into jeans and a green t-shirt with cap sleeves and his heart leaps when she enters his line of sight. He stands up a bit straighter, buoyed by her presence. He wants to hug her, but he stuffs his hands in his pockets instead. Off limits, he keeps reminding himself. Unavailable.

“Hi,” she says with a nervous little smile.

“Hey,” he responds with a broad grin. “Shall we?” he says as he tilts his head toward the exit.

It’s a wonderfully mild day and they walk the four blocks to Cafe Adamo, the orange Tooms file tucked neatly under his arm. They are mostly quiet as they walk, enjoying the warm breeze and lack of traffic noise. Scully lifts her hand to hoist her purse strap up on her shoulder and his stomach lurches when the sun catches on a large diamond ring on her finger. The ring finger of her left hand. It shouldn’t matter, unavailable is unavailable, but knowing that she’s getting married takes his already dashed dreams and stomps them into dust.

They sit at the same corner table they had on their previous visit and this time she orders an iced coffee, much to his relief; he’s not sure he can sit still through more foam-licking. He orders a drip, and as soon as their waiter leaves the table he has to say something.

“Looks like congratulations are in order,” he says, gesturing towards her hand with his chin.

She looks down at the table and startles a little, as if she herself hadn’t known the ring was there.

“Oh, yeah, um, thank you,” she replies tersely, avoiding his eye.

“When did that happen?” he inquires, morbidly curious.

“Uh, in late June, the twenty-first.”

His eyebrows lift a little. He’s sure she wasn’t wearing a ring the other times he’s seen her.

“That’s, uh, that’s great. Do you have a date set?” Why the fuck is he asking her about this? Right, because that’s what a friend would do.

“Yes, as of recently, it’s October thirteenth, this year.”

He chuffs a laugh, his head dropping close to the table.

“What?” she asks, her eyebrows knit in confusion.

He lifts his head to look at her with an ironic smile. “That’s my birthday,” he says flatly, and pink immediately rises to her cheeks.

“Oh,” she says as though she’s committed an embarrassing faux pas.

“Here, check this out,” he says, changing the subject and sliding the orange file across the table to her. “Eugene Victor Tooms, a seemingly typical, if not a little strange, man who was in fact a liver-eating mutant. He would eat his victim’s liver to sustain his own life, and then build a nest from newspaper and bile where he would hibernate for thirty years before repeating the pattern.”

“Bile? As in stomach acid?” Scully says with a doubtful tone that matches her expression.

“Yes ma’am, I had the unfortunate experience of coming into close contact with it and I can attest to its authenticity.”

“Mulder, humans don’t hibernate, much less for thirty years.”

“Well, Eugene Victor Tooms was hardly human, Scully. At one-hundred-twenty-one years young, he was on a steady diet of three livers per hibernation break.”

Their coffees are dropped off, but the conversation continues despite the interruption.

“The oldest human who’s ever lived is one-hundred-nineteen years old. On top of that, even if someone were to live to be one-hundred-twenty-one they certainly wouldn’t be healthy or fit enough to murder people and eat their livers, then have enough energy left over to build a bile-nest.” She’s animated, her hands punctuating her statements as her face quirks into an ‘I can't even believe I’m even having this conversation’ expression, and he can’t help but smile.

“Okay, if you don’t agree with my conclusions, Scully, then tell me what you think happened,” he says gently.

She pulls in a deep breath and lets it out in a huff, her shoulders deflating. “I don’t know, Mulder. I’d need access to the biological materials, to analyze them in a lab. We’d need to do a full physical work up on Mr. Tooms, genetic testing.”

Mulder bobs his head. “Well, that will prove difficult seeing as Mr. Tooms met his end under the teeth of an escalator,” he replies, and her eyes go big for a moment.

She shakes her head, closing the folder and sliding it back across the table towards him. “Didn’t it bother you, to work all these cases and never have any real answers?” she asks.

Mulder shrugs. “Yes and no. For me, it isn’t as much about the answers themselves as it is the journey towards the one great truth. Doors are opened along the way, avenues cleared, and it all lends itself towards moving me further along on my quest.”

She’s looking at him with soft, affectionate eyes. She’s really listening and it feels so fucking good. It’s not very often that anyone really listens when he talks. Really hears him.

“What do you consider to be your quest?” she asks gently.

“If I were really to narrow it down, to find my sister. Or to understand what happened to her.” His hand is sitting on top of the closed file and he startles a little when she reaches out and rests her palm against his knuckles. She gives him a sympathetic smile and then pulls it back, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat and busying herself stirring her coffee with a straw.

“Priscilla misses you,” he says, changing the subject again, and her delighted smile makes his heart swell.

“How can you possibly know that?” she replies skeptically, even though it’s clear that she wants it to be true.

“You think I can’t communicate with my cat?” he asks in mock offense, “what kind of roommate would I be if I didn’t learn to speak her language?”

Scully shakes her head, the smile still playing on her lips. “So how’d you end up being the one to keep her, anyway?” she asks, “she’s such a sweet cat, I’m surprised your ex was willing to part with her.”

Mulder takes a sip of his coffee before continuing. “At the time that Valerie, that’s my ex, moved out, she was planning to spend some time bumming around Europe so she really couldn't take Priscilla. I think by the time she got back, she felt too guilty about taking her away so she just let me keep her. Prissy always preferred me anyway, so I think she was satisfied with the custody arrangement.”

“So, you’re still in touch with her, then? Your ex?” She’s not making eye contact, trying to act casual, but he can tell she’s curious to know if they’re still involved. He’s curious to know why she cares.

“Oh, yeah, we’re on good terms, always have been. We don’t spend a ton of time together, but I would still consider her a close friend,” he answers honestly.

Scully frowns a little. “Then why did you break up, if you get along so well?”

Mulder sits back in his chair, considering the question for a moment. “I guess there just wasn’t a spark, you know. We looked great on paper, very compatible technically speaking. She was my best friend, a great partner. There was just something missing, for both of us. I loved her, still love her, but not in that way that makes you go ‘shit, I could spend the rest of my life waking up next to this person.’ And we both wanted that, and thought maybe we could have it with someone else, so we broke up.” He leans forward again, elbows on the table top, and takes in her stoic expression.

After a moment of contemplation, she speaks. “How would you know, if you had ‘the spark’ as you call it? What does that even mean?” There’s a mild defensiveness to her tone and it confuses him.

“I think...I think you just know,” he says, meeting her eye. She swallows and then drops her gaze, picking up her cup and sucking noisily at the last drops of coffee that cling to the ice.

[tommyspeakycap]

Would you write for John McGinn? anything at all for him haha

you got me

a nasty breakup brings you to the door of the aston villa player, ready to welcome you once again with open arms full of love.

Whistling to himself as he walks from his bathroom to the kitchen of his home, John towel dries off his hair when his doorbell sounds through the house. His immediate reaction is one of question. He tilts his head, furrows his brows and wracks his brain for a memory of potentially making plans that he had then completely forgotten about. Instead, he begins to wonder if there was a chance he had leaked his address and would be met with paparazzi or fans standing on his doorstep. The villa player draws blank on both of those thought processes, and is snapped from them when the a harsh knocking accompanies the sound of said doorbell.

His feet hurry him towards the door, taking the opportunity to look at the doorbell footage he could access from the little alarm box on the wall just next to it. His eyes are met with you standing on his porch dripping from the rain, shivering in soaked clothes and very possibly crying.

He reaches for the door immediately, tugging the heavy thing open with eyes wide, "Bloody hell, you have a key!" He exclaims, ushering you in as he removed his hair towel from around his neck to drape over your shoulders while you close the door behind you. Your lips are a little blue from the winter chill that had blown the cold rain through your clothes. "Forgot it." You chitter, entire body shivering with the painful force to try and conserve some form of heat.

John grabs a bigger towel, one that's much softer and warmer. "Strip off," he orders hurriedly, turning his back to go back into the kitchen and see if he left any clothes in his dryer from the load he put in earlier. "Sh-shouldn't you take me t-t-to dinner first?"

Your half hearted, shivering attempt at a joke doesn't make him laugh like it usually would. He turns around to shoot you a disapproving scowl. "I'll get you some warm clothes, get dried."

You do as told, or attempt to. It's hard when you can't feel your fingers to get a grip on anything more than the zipper of the zip up hoodie you'd had on. You try to shake the material from your shoulders, but your whole body is stiff with the tight muscles that the freezing temperatures had inflicted upon you.

"You'll end up with hypothermia," John rushes, dropping the warm clothes down on the cabinet by the door where you still stand, surrounded by a puddle of rainwater. He works quickly, but carefully to shed you of the zipper, then looks to you for permission to lift your t-shirt over your head. He hands you the warm, dry towel to cover yourself with so he can unclip your soaked bra. Shoes off next, he discards them off behind him as water literally pools from them. You keep that towel around you, patting at your skin as he tries to get your leggings off as painlessly as possible, but every touch still hurts. Your pants, you insist on doing by yourself even if it is a struggle while John holds up the towel.

He didn't bother to even make an attempt at pulling the hair bobble out of your hair, John just snaps the thin black band wordlessly, easily between his fingers before he orders you to flip your hair so he can tied it in another warm towel.

"Why were you out in that?" He asks as he sits you down in his cosy living room with a new, drier towel. You're still chittering, which is worrying but John had learned a lot from coaches behaviours towards the teams when they come off after games played on nights like these. "It's negative 6 degrees."

Warming up was the most important thing, just not too quickly.

You avert your eyes from his, chewing slightly on your lip. "(y/n)," John presses, moving to occupy the space on the couch next to you. You sit forward on the couch so you both sit shoulder to shoulder, his head turns to you while yours faces the floor. "David kicked me out, I didn't have my keys and my phone wasn't charged so I couldn't call you. Busses were off for the weather and the snow covered the train lines yesterday, plus I don't have any money with me so I was scuppered there too. I did some grovelling at the door then I walked here when he wouldn't let me back it."

John's jaw all but hits the floor as anger infiltrates the worry coursing through his veins.

"Don't..." you sigh, trailing off as you stand up with a loose shake of your head. "Don't look at me like that John. I'm gonna go get changed."

The sound of your bare feet padding off through his house holding the warmed pile of his clothes he gave to you was one that he would certainly like to get used to, but you had both done this dance so many times he knew it wasn't something he could count on. Usually you'll call him though, or he'll go and pick you up after a mutual breakup. You've never come on no notice and it's never been because of something like this. John hadn't heard from you in a few weeks either, you had his mind reeling.

Even more so when you reappeared, dry hair tied back out of your face with his grey joggers and black t-shirt drowning you in its size. They were him homebody comfy clothes, so they were bought to be even a little big on him. He had to admit they looked a lot better on you, though.

In the time you were gone, John had made hot chocolate and brought through his biscuit tin to sit on the couch between you both. Words weren't deemed necessary to find a movie he knew you would like. That and he knew you didn't want to talk, so even if he tried it would have been like trying to have a conversation with a brick wall.

He keeps looking over at you, trying to do so discreetly by flicking his eyes over in your direction. Those little giggles at Hugh Grants exasperated facial expressions while James Can disposes of a body in a trunk in the 1999 rom com you loved so much. The movie is good, but your reactions to every time you watch it just like each time is the first time. John can't understand why a man would ever do anything that would wipe that little grin off your perfect lips. How anyone could ever put anyone out on their doorstep in a  storm like that, but least of all someone who was supposed to love you. If it were up to John, you would have been wrapped in a blanket the second the rain pour started, curled in his arms falling asleep to the sound of the thunder rumble and the rain pattering against the street. That was his dream, the one he couldn't keep a girlfriend because of. All he wanted was you and nobody else ever lived up to that.

He wishes he could scream at you, tell you that those very sorry excuses for men that you end up with and what you have with them isn't love. Or maybe you do love them, but they do not love you. They like the idea of you, someone free spirited and always ready to fall in love.

It truly seemed as though you could fall in love with anyone but the one man who wanted you the most.

Watching you fall asleep on his couch, head resting on the high armrest with knees curled up and his blanket still tucked around you with a tiny little bit of chocolate on the corner of your lip sends his heart racing a mile a minute. It feels so right to have you there. He feels guilty for enjoying it. Your heart was broken even if you wouldn't say a word about it and here he was enjoying it.

He uses his foot to push open the spare bedroom door just along the hall from his room. John lays you down carefully on top of the duvet, letting your head nuzzle into his plush pillows as your eyes remain shut in soft sleep. He grabs another blanket for you and makes sure the heating is right up in the room before he leaves you there with an ache in his chest.

He goes to check on you in the middle of the night, finding you not in the room but instead standing in his kitchen still shrouded in blankets with crazy sleep hair and tired eyes.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, startling you ever so slightly. You shrug, moving to take a seat at his kitchen island. “Woke up and got all messed up thinking about how i have literally nothing.” You mumble in response, your voice thick with the desire to burst into tears. It breaks his heart to see you so defeated, your eyes never meeting his as they stare pointedly down at the marble surface. “I’m sorry.” John says, “Really. He’s an arsehole. I can go round and grab some stuff for you tomorrow if you want.” He offers, his apology as sincere as they come. But you shake your head with only a quick glance up at him. John isn’t hot tempered at all. He’s mellow, easygoing and funny. Never quick to anger and never the type to get into a fight but by god is he protective of you. You worry about the kind of blow that would come to his career if he gets an assault charge against your ex when he inevitably doesn’t let John into the house to get any of your stuff while probably barraging you with insults.

“It’s not worth it.” You admit. “It’s less physical. Just leaves me empty, i guess. ‘Cause i gave everything to that relationship and how i have nothing left to give.” The heartbreak and the weight of your words will weigh on John’s mind probably for years to come. How someone could do that to you he will never understand. There’s nothing he wants more in this world than for you to be his to love. He wants to shower you with praise, make you realise how strong you are and remind you every single day that he loves you. That’s what you deserve. You deserve kindness and encouragement and support. He wishes more than anything to be the guy who could give that to you instead of watching you enter into relationships with the worst men he’s ever known only to see you torn down at the other side of it.

“You’ve got me.” He offers. He knows that’s probably not what you want to hear and it might not give you the kind of relief he wishes he could give. But you smile softly and stand up, shuffling over to him under blankets and his warm clothes until you reach him. You don’t really hug him, just lean against him with your cheek on his chest. John wraps his arms around you tightly and feels you sigh contently. He’s your John. The burly Scottish lad who makes you laugh when you feel like crying, who looks after you and keeps you pushing forward when life feels like it’s stacked against you. “Yeah. I love you, John.” You hum softy. John can feel the small smile on your lips against the thin material of the shirt he wore to sleep in because his house was like a sauna with the heating to keep your warm. He can tell you’re about to fall asleep there because he supports most of your weight. He holds you to him, rubbing your back soothingly as you nod ever so slightly against him.

“Even when i’ve got nothing, i’ve got you.”

[thalergetic]

prompt: sugar daddy adora. as a birthday treat 😌

as a birthday treat? of course 😌

As far as Catra knew, most grad students didn’t have closets full of Gucci, Dior, and Louis Vuitton.

They didn’t have a chauffeur that would take them wherever they needed, whenever they needed.

And they certainly weren’t sharing a bed with one of the most powerful businesswomen in the country.

Adora Grayskull, who made the 30 Under 30 list at age 21, had been promoted to COO of Horde Industries about three months before she met Catra, and she was only on her way up.

Catra wasn’t sure exactly what her job entailed — Adora had tried explaining it a few times in bed, but nothing had ever stuck — and wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

After all, that wasn’t something their... agreement had covered.

Catra met Adora when she was in the first year of a grueling PhD program at one of the best schools on the West Coast.

She’d been waiting tables in a fairly high-class restaurant, trying to make enough money to cover her first tuition payment, when Adora walked in.

She had been with a client, Catra remembered, but it didn’t stop her from staring the whole time.

When her client left — in some fit of rage, if the way he stormed out was anything to go by — Adora had sighed and put her head in her hands.

And, well, Catra wasn’t immune to someone that attractive in a well-tailored suit.

She brought over a glass of the scotch Adora had ordered earlier and placed it gently beside her.

“On the house,” Catra said, watching Adora’s eyes flick over to it. “You’re Adora Grayskull, right?”

“Guilty as charged.” Adora looked up at her for a moment. “Care to join me?”

Catra knew she probably shouldn’t, but it had been a slow night, and her manager was too busy micromanaging the hostesses to notice her.

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded, and pulled up a chair across from her. “What was that guy’s deal?”

Adora sighed a little, looking towards the door before her eyes met Catra’s. “I had to fire him.” When Catra’s eyes widened a little, Adora continued, explaining, “He’s— he was in charge of our Boston branch.”

“Not anymore, though, I guess,” Catra said. “Rough way to end a night.”

“Considering he spent the last two quarters doing coke and fucking his secretary, I think he probably should’ve seen it coming.” Adora took a sip of her drink to hide a smile as Catra let out a surprised laugh.

Adora swallowed, then nodded toward Catra. “My turn to ask a question. What brought you here?”

“Here, like, to LA? Or to the restaurant?”

“Both,” Adora shrugged. “Either.”

Catra gnawed at the inside of her lip for a second. “I’m a grad student at UCLA,” She said. “I just started a PhD program.”

Adora’s eyebrows raised a little as she nodded, impressed. “In what?”

“Mechanical engineering and applied physics,” Catra answered, watching Adora’s eyes widen even further. “Y’know. Basic stuff.”

It was Adora’s turn to let out a surprised laugh. “No shit,” She said, propping her head up on a hand. “Tell me more.”

Somehow, Catra did. She talked — slow and hesitant at first, then with increasing enthusiasm that led her to drawing a diagram on the back of a receipt — about her work, her interests, and her concentration.

The whole time, Adora watched her face with an awed expression. At the end, her only question was, “So why the hell are you waiting tables?”

“I mean, the tuition isn’t exactly cheap,” Catra said. “I got a partial scholarship, but I’m already up to my neck in loans. This doesn’t cover all of it, but...” She shrugged. “It helps. Plus, the food’s not bad.”

Adora nodded a little. Her face clouded with an expression Catra couldn’t place. “Means you have less time to do your actual work, though.”

Catra nodded. “It does. But, I mean, it’s whatever,” She said, shrugging again. “That’s life. What can you do, y’know?”

“Well, I—” Adora cut herself off with a shake of her head. “No, that’s not— never mind.”

Catra frowned. “What?”

As if to give her some courage, Adora finished her drink. She began to run her finger around the edge of the glass as she said, in a careful, halting voice, “If you needed some help, I would...” She cleared her throat. “I would be happy to, um...”

She was blushing, Catra realized. Why would she be— oh.

Oh.

“Um,” Catra started, eyes widening. “You— but, I-I mean, I just met you.”

“True,” Adora agreed. “So obviously you’re under no obligation to accept, but—” She let out a small sigh. “You know you’re the first person I’ve been able to have a normal conversation with in years?”

Catra blinked. She wasn’t sure what to say, and all her brain could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Adora nodded. “And you’re so, so smart, Catra. You should be able to spend as much time as humanly possible doing what you love, not—not giving glasses of Johnny Walker to random CEOs on a Tuesday night.”

Catra was pretty sure her mouth was hanging open. “So, to be clear, you would be, like... my sugar daddy?”

Adora cringed a little at the words, but nodded anyway. “If that’s what you want to call it, then... sure. But we don’t have to discuss it now,” She said, reaching into her suit jacket.

She pulled out a sleek, neat black wallet and pulled one, two, then four hundred-dollar bills from inside it.

“When are you free to talk about it?” Adora asked, sliding the money across the table. “I’ll send a car for you.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can take the bus.”

“If that’s what you want, that’s fine,” Adora said, putting her hands up in surrender. “But if it makes things easier for you, I’m happy to do it.”

In the end, the temptation of a plush, fancy car was too much for Catra to overcome, and she relented soon after.

Later that week, when she and Adora went over the terms of what they’d refer to as the agreement, Catra found herself blushing when she asked the question that had been lingering on her mind for days.

“So... in exchange for the money,” Catra said hesitantly, watching Adora’s expression shift ever so slightly, “What... would I be doing?”

“Right. Um.” Adora started, swallowing thickly. “I know that usually in these types of relationships, there’s—” She cut herself off, letting out a small laugh. “I don’t know why I’m blushing,” She said, shaking her head. “Um. But there’s a sexual component.”

Not trusting herself to speak without it coming out squeaky, Catra just nodded. Her face was on fire.

“If that’s not something you’re interested in, that’s completely fine,” Adora said, raising her eyebrows a little. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

Catra nodded again, clearing her throat. “And, um. If... I was interested?”

Adora’s eyes widened a little, and Catra swore she saw them darken as her jaw pulsed. “If you’re interested,” Adora said, her voice dropping a little deeper, “I’m more than okay with that.”

Feeling her heart rate jump a little at the sudden change in demeanor, Catra blinked rapidly. “Um. O-okay,” She said, nodding again. “Yeah. Cool. We need to—to talk about it more, though, right?”

“I need to know any limits you have,” Adora said, nodding. “Anything you’re absolutely not willing to do.”

“Okay,” Catra nodded. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Adora offered a hand out for Catra to shake.

After a second’s hesitation, Catra took it.

“Then it’s a deal,” Adora said, giving her a smile. “You’ll have access to a car service, my credit card, and the penthouse,” She said. “In return, I would just ask that you keep this between us.”

“Uh. Of course,” Catra said, remembering the very detailed text she’d sent to Glimmer after their first meeting. “Um. I-I can do that.”

“I-I mean, I don’t know what you’ve told people,” Adora said, frowning a little. “Just, you know. Try and keep my name out of it. Not that I’m ashamed of you, or of this, but with the company—”

“Easy, baby,” Catra said, putting a hand on her arm. She began to rub soothingly at it, feeling hard muscle under Adora’s dress shirt. “I get it.”

Adora blushed again. “You—you called me baby,” She said dumbly.

“You’re paying for my tuition,” Catra said, raising an eyebrow. “I feel like it’s the least I can do.”

The words seemed to remind her of something, and Catra swallowed hard. “Speaking of tuition,” She said. “When do you... want me to start?”

“Start wh— oh.” Adora’s eyes widened. She looked behind her, where the door to her bedroom was open, before turning back to Catra. “Are you busy tonight?”

Catra blinked, trying hard to tamp down her blush. “Not at all.”

“Well, then,” Adora said, taking a step toward her. Slowly, so Catra could see and react to it, she moved her hand up so her thumb was resting on Catra’s bottom lip. “There’s your answer.”

Catra opened her mouth a little, feeling Adora slide her thumb inside.

In a second, Catra decided that if she was going to do this, she would do it right.

Putting a hand on Adora’s to steady it, Catra began to suck gently on the finger in her mouth, watching Adora’s eyes fly open as her lips parted.

A few moments later, Catra released her finger with a pop, leaving Adora much less collected than she had been minutes prior.

With a wink, Catra moved past her slowly, dragging her fingers lightly along Adora’s shoulder as she walked behind her into her bedroom.

Catra stopped at the doorway and looked back. “If we’re doing this, there’s something you should know,” She said, watching Adora frown in a mix of concern, confusion, and arousal.

“What?”

Dragging her eyes up and down Adora’s body, Catra gave her a grin. “I bite.”

[mrs-tsunderemeitantei]

According to your theory on Bourbon and Haibara, I find it weird that Bourbon doesn't know anything about the past of Ai when she was in BO, don't forget that he was in BO long time ago, while Sherry at that time is still a kid and in USA for study at least. It is strange to me if he didn't investigate about her thoroughly at that time while on his mission. However, when they meet sooner or later, she will despise him even more when she discover that he is from PSB, and had intention to use her.

Heyy! Tbh, I don't think he was in the organisation any longer than she has. If we ignore the fact the she was born into the syndicate, I’d say they technically joined around the same time. He probably joined 5 years ago around the same time when Akai also joined. At the time, Shiho was 13 when she started working on the research and became Sherry. 

As for him not investigating her thoroughly, I believe he just didn’t have enough outlets to help him investigate her. Yes he knows she is Elena’s daughter and that’s not surprising. The BO has a database of all its members listing all their information. When Haibara first met Conan and they went to retrieve the disk that got mixed up in Akemi's holiday pictures, Conan got excited when Haibara told him the disk did not just have the drug's data, but also sensitive information about some BO members.

Another instant is when Gin told Pisco he can look up Shiho's data on the organisation's computer when they suspected she was going to Haido City Hotel. So I'm pretty sure Bourbon would have easily accessed the same database for his mission to capture her as per the organisation's demands.

By that logic, he’d have looked her up in the database to know what she looked like, her family, where she lived, etc. Butttt I don’t think he knew any more than that. Why? Well, I have a bunch of reasons why I think so, and it might get confusing but please bear with me 😂:

1. While in the organisation and after her escape, Shiho herself did not know anything about her family except for what she was told by the organisation, so how would Bourbon know anymore than her? It wasn't until she visited her father's childhood house and got the tapes that Akemi left for her when she learnt the truth about her family's past.

2. There aren’t a lot of people for him to provide him with information about Shiho (except maybe Gin and Vermouth). By nature, Shiho is reserved and was more of a loner (her sister was the only person she was close to). She barely interacted with anyone outside her department and when it comes to her lab-mates, I highly doubt they knew the pressures her parents endured before joining the syndicate.

3. When it comes to Gin and Shiho, we don’t know yet the extent of their relationship. And let’s assume they were romantically involved. I don’t think he’d know about her family’s past because she herself was oblivious to her parents’ past and Gin is not that good at remembering people who died anyway. And regardless, Gin and Bourbon don’t like each other. Gin even said he neither keeps tabs on Bourbon, nor does he like to share information with him. Also, since Shiho kept to herself in the organisation, it’s unlikely other members (including Bourbon) knew of her possible relationship with Gin. 

4. As for Vermouth, she seems to know the most about Shiho because of her mysterious link to the research and blatant hatred for Shiho and her parents. Now, there are two possible scenarios:

Vermouth knew the Miyanos' history before joining. She may have been kept in the loop to help with pressuring them so they could join. I'm basing this on her history with emotionally manipulating and tormenting people into doing things for the organisation (Itakura Saguru and the murderer who killed Fukuura Senzou in the off-season halloween party case are prime examples).

Eventually she clashed with them when they joined the organisation just like she clashed with Itakura Saguru later on.

The second (less likely situatuon imo), is she was unaware the organisation bullied them. She probably thought they willingly joined when they shouldn’t have, and she hates them because of their research.  

So, if Bourbon learnt from Vermouth that Shiho’s parents were forced to join the organisation, why was he still willing to hand Shiho back to the organisation? (I mean I don’t want to believe he’d stoop that low. Even if he had a plan to get her out later, I don’t think he’d risk exposing himself after handing her knowing she’ll only be killed or forced to complete the drug). And if the second scenario was true, it would explain why why he wanted to return Shiho to the organisation. But I don't think she told Bourbon anything and I'll explain why in a bit.

Based on all that, my theory is this: Vermouth played a part in getting Shiho’s parents to join the organisation. Later on, things didn’t go according to plan with the research so she began feeling animosity towards them. She never shared any of that with Bourbon because she didn’t want to risk him finding out about the drug’s de-ageing effects (he definitely doesn’t know otherwise he would have figured out Conan and Haibara's identities). And because he doesn't know the truth about her parents, he didn’t feel guilty about handing Shiho back to the organisation. 

5. Finally, when we look at Haibara talking about the White Dove pharmaceuticals, she suddenly became so knowledgeable about her parents' history when initially she knew nothing. She revealed all this information AFTER she got the tapes. That’s why I’m convinced it was Elena’s tapes that got her to know everything. Haibara probably also lied when she said it was her sister who told her. It is less likely for that to be the case because Akemi wouldn’t have been born to know what happened 30 or 25 years ago. And even if Elena spoke a little to Akemi about what happened, Akemi would have still been too young to understand. The only thing Akemi knew was the drug her parents were making was supposed to be a Silver Bullet of Justice.

So in conclusion, I feel the strongest pieces of evidence to prove Shiho and her parents were forced into that life would be the tapes and Vermouth. Rei never had access to the tapes nor does he know they exist. I’m guessing if he gets his hands on those tapes, they’d be a valuable lead that can help him link Vermouth to the Miyanos and somehow confirm everything.

I know this was reallly long and probably exhausting to read but I hope it made sense.

And yes, she will definitely despise Rei and she has every right to. Not just because he is PSB who planned on using her as a pawn, but  because of his relationship to her mother. I have a gut feeling Elena even mentioned him in her tapes (it is very likely since she too loved Rei) and once Shiho realises the boy from the tapes and Rei are the same person, it will leave her feeling gutted.

Again these are all just my theories and I could be very wrong but I can’t wait for everything to be revealed 🙌🏻

[runrundoyourstuff]

Seasons

(A Steven Universe Fic, 2632 words)

Written with love for a holiday exchange with the wonderful @mimik-u !

Prompt: Steven teaches one of the Diamonds about something beautifully mundane (a la Peridot learning about rain.)

--

It’s almost comical how the Dondai pales in size when compared to the Arm Ship—and the magnitude of the difference only grows as Steven descends the ridge. There are some items, both of human and Gem origin, that seemed larger when he was smaller—when he was younger—when everything mysterious in the world, every new thing he learned about himself, filled him with wonder. The Diamond ships, however, are not among these items. They’re as large now as they always seemed to him, if not quite as foreboding. As are the Diamonds themselves, and he is reminded of this, as Yellow disembarks from her spacecraft.

She doesn’t see him right away. Or if she does notice the car, she doesn’t have the frame of reference to recognize it as his, and even after he parks it beside the ship and gets out, it’s several moments before she turns around and acknowledges him standing there.

“Steven!”

“Hey, Yellow.”

“When I called, I hadn’t realized…” She sputters. “Your...your family returned my message to inform me that you were leaving on a conquest—”

“A conquest?”

“Yes, they said that you were going to travel—”

“Yeah, but not on a conquest!”

“Of course, of course, a scouting mission, then—”

“No! Nothing like that! Just a trip! I just...needed to hit the road for a while. Figure out what’s next.”

“I...right, of course. Your—I mean, the Pearl said that you would be taking a hiatus from your Diamond duties…”

At this, Steven chuckles. “Pearl wants me to.” But then he becomes serious. “I shouldn’t laugh. She’s trying to make sure that I take care of myself. She—all of them really, want to make sure I know that I don’t have to be involved in any Gem stuff if I don’t want to. That it’s my choice. And ya know, it’s true that I don’t want it to be my whole life, not like it was when I was a kid. And because there’s no hierarchy anymore, I do want to give other Gems a chance to manage things on Earth if they want to—to show them it doesn’t always have to be a Diamond, and I’m not a Diamond anyway—but I do want to be involved, ya know? Or at least know what’s going on! I put so much work into everything, and not all of it was bad. I was really proud of a lot of what we did, and the Gems are my family…” A pause. “Anyway, that’s all to say that I routed some of the messages from the Base to my phone.”

“I see. I…” She pauses. “I didn’t intend...You did not need to come. I merely called because I didn’t want to catch you off guard. Give your...our...Given my history, I thought if I showed up on your planet unannounced—”

“It’s not my planet.”

“No, of course not. I meant the planet on which you reside. I’ve already...I did not intend to make you feel that…that you needed to come fix—”

Steven raises a hand. “I know. I just happened to be in the area, so I thought I’d stop by. Say hi.”

“Ah. Alright.” The silence resounds. Yellow’s eyes flit away.

“So,” Steven says after a moment—looking for something, anything, to cut through the quiet. “Why Zona?”

“Is that what this place is called?” Yellow glances around. “I needed an area of the Earth where I would cause the least disruptions, where I could dig a sufficiently large hole such that I could access the Cluster. I initially planned on going to one of the Kindergartens, as we’d already irrevocably destroyed all hope of organic life thriving there—I thought I could minimize the destruction. But each already has a fairly extensive subterranean framework that makes it impossible for me to dig deep enough.” She sighs. “I realize this place isn’t perfect. My digging will certainly disrupt some of the plant life. But it appeared at least that there were few humans in the vicinity…”

“Mm.” Steven leads against the hood of his car. “I’m surprised you brought your ship out here and didn’t just Warp. We’re not that far from the Beta Kindergarten, and there’s a Warp there...”

“Those Warps weren’t built for us. We’re much too large.”

“I guess that’s true, but you could always shapeshift.”

“Hmm. I suppose. But there was also the equipment to bring.”

“Equipment?”

“Yes, I...There are...billions of shards in the Cluster. I figured...if I am going to dismantle it and reconstruct each of the Gems whose shards it conatiend, it would likely be easier for me to do it on Earth, rather than bringing all the Shards back to Homeworld. I don’t want to risk losing any of them or damaging any of them even further in transit…And while I may need to ultimately to transport some of them back to Homeworld to locate all the pieces, and though it may be disconcerting for the other Gems to reform on Earth...I…” She leaves the syllable hanging in the air, turns her head away. Steven can just barely make out her tense jaw as though she is gritting her teeth. Sparks radiate from her skin.

“Yellow? Are you...okay?”

“I’m fine!” But then she bows her head, inhales and releases, murmurs: “I apologize, Steven. I am not angry with you. I simply…It has been difficult enough for me to face each of the Gems I have reconstructed on Homeworld. Once they recover from the shock and the terror, they have each looked at me with such disdain. And those Fusion experiments, while they were certainly terrible, pale in comparison to the Cluster. I can only imagine what each of the Gem’s contained within it will feel. And I will deserve it. I hurt so many Gems in the service of the Empire.”

Steven opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Yellow continues, speaking ever rapidly, ever louder, as though desperate to expel the words. “Do not try to assuage my guilty conscience! That...is not your responsibility. I shouldn’t have just put you in a position to think that it was.”

Another tentative backpedaling, Steven thinks. A walking on eggshells moment, like he’s witnessed with the Gems and Dad over the past several months. And difficult though it is for him to sometimes believe, it’s not as though Yellow is wrong, at least not if he trusts his therapist. But there is a distant look in her eye, a panicked tension in her cheeks, which, when coupled with the fact that this is the first time he’s seen her since his breakdown, makes Steven wonder if she is remembering that day on the beach.

His own memories of it are fuzzy-to-nonexistant; he remembers the pain, and the panic, and the anger he’d held despite knowing that he shouldn't. Then, he has a vague impression of multiple embraces, of Connie kissing his forehead, of crying hot, cathartic tears...And then he’d woken up in the Cluster’s hand, with the eyes of most of the people he loved and almost everyone he’d ever fought all on him.

Despite his own lack of recollection, however, Connie assures him that she’d given everyone—the Diamonds included—something of a blunt talking to that day, a rallying speech, but she won’t elaborate on the specifics of what exactly she’d said. Might that—whatever its contents— be behind Yellow’s hasty assurances now?

“Okay,” Steven responds finally. “I won’t try to make you feel less guilty. But can I show you something?”

Yellow furrows her eyebrows. “Very well.”

“It’s just on the top of the canyon.”

They deliberate for a few moments on the details. Yellow offers to carry him, but even if she’s not White, Steven declines being held in a Diamond’s hand, and while she could shapeshift to fit in the passenger seat of the Dondai, she ultimately elects to simply follow behind the car as Steven slowly drives it up the cliff.

They reach the plateau just as the sun begins to dip in the horizon, casting a golden glow over the grass, over the Autumn leaves, just starting to paint themselves with the vibrant shades that return year after year.

Steven opens the door and steps out. “You never spent much time on Earth, did you?”

Yellow considers. “No.”

“Do you know what I think my mom fell in love with about this planet?”

“Organic life, of course. Humans.” She gestures to Steven. “Obviously.”

“Well, yeah, but not just them. Us. I think it was this stuff too.”

Yellow squints. “These weeds?! These...dying outgrowths?!”

“With things that change. Things that grow. There’s so much of it here.”

“Hm.”

Steven paces over to the grass, then sinks down onto it so that it brushes against his bare calves. It’s mostly soft on his skin but there are dryer patches too, scratchier places on the ground as some of the longer areas start to dry out for the season. The sun dips lower in the sky, and it leaks hues of pink and orange onto the daytime canvas of darkening blue. Yellow looms behind him.

“Feel this.” He pats the ground next to him, and tries not to wince as Yellow’s gargantuan hand settles down on the grass. “You might not be able to tell, but it’s growing. Even right now. By the time the snow—frozen water that falls from the sky—starts to cover it in a few months, it’ll probably be a few inches taller than it is right now. And then it’ll take a break for a while, but when Spring comes next year—when the weather gets warmer again—it’ll start again.

“The trees too. Look out there—they grow taller every year, and every year the leaves change into those beautiful colors you can see. And the shades are similar every year, but never exactly the same. Then the leaves fall off, and then bud again and come back. And the trees keep getting taller. And every time the leaves return, the whole tree is a little bit different too.”

Yellow hesitates. “These are familiar to me. Someone, I believe a Peridot—your Peridot—”

“She’s not my Peridot, but I know who you mean.”

“Yes...Well, she brought some of these...trees...from Earth to Homeworld, and determined how best to make them grow there. I’ve been gazing at them through the windows of the palace ever since, but I hadn’t realized how elaborate, how ever-present, their growth cycles were…”

“I’ve lived on Earth my whole life, and I only just started thinking about it recently. It’s easy to take for granted, but it’s really incredible when you stop to think about it.” He angles his head upward. “And it’s not just the plants. Look at the sky. It changes like this every day.” A pause. “Well, it’s really not the sky that’s changing—Connie told me that it’s an effect of how the planet moves around our sun. But from down here on Earth, it looks like it’s always changing. In a different way every day. I don’t think it’s like that on Homeworld.”

Yellow settles next to him at last, squatting, and then kneeling. “It isn’t. Things are constructed on Homeworld—not grown. We have a sun, but our sky does not transform like this.”

“Exactly. And I think that’s why my mom fell in love with the Earth so much. She was so in awe of how everything naturally grew and changed here.” Steven sighs, clenches him gemstone beneath his hand. “I’m still angry at her a lot of the time, but, like, I get it. She saw herself as this monster.” Here Steven pauses, glances away for a moment before finally letting the words return. “And she didn’t think that she was capable of growth or change. All she thought she could do was pretend to be someone else. And then she found herself on this planet where all anything did was grow for real, and she wanted to be a part of that even in some small way, so she made me.”

“Steven…”

“But the point is, she was wrong. She could have grown as herself. I think she did, even if she couldn’t see it. And she and I aren't the only Gems that grew. All of my friends and family have. None of us is the same as we were when I was a kid. Maybe it just took coming to Earth to see that, ya know? Gems can grow and change, just like the trees can, and the grass, and the sky.

“So yeah,” Steven continues. “White hurt you, and you hurt Mom, and Mom hurt Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst and Spinel and you, and everyone she hurt hurt me, and I hurt Jasper and Dad and a lot of people and could have hurt a lot more, and you hurt all the Gems who were corrupted, and who became the Fusion experiments and the Cluster...and that’s all true, and we all have to deal with that and make the things we did wrong right the best that we can. And it’s hard, and it sucks. But the ways we’ve been hurt and hurt other people aren’t all we are. We can grow and change too. As ourselves. I think the Earth is just one big reminder of that.”

Yellow’s brows are once again furrowed, her jaw agape. “I…”

“So, yeah, it’s going to be hard to face all the Gems in the Cluster as you put them all back together. But it’s the right thing to do. And if it ever becomes too much, you can always come up here, and watch the world change and grow to remind yourself that you’re growing too. You’re better than you were, and if you keep working at it, you’ll keep getting better.”

Then, without waiting for Yellow to respond, Steven stands, walks back over to the Dondai. “Now, I gotta hit the road. I want to get to Vegas by tomorrow. It was nice to see you, Yellow.”

“You as well, Steven.” Yellow rises to her feet.

“Good luck,” he calls out the window as he pulls away, and glancing in the rearview mirror, he sees Yellow’s arm raised in farewell, something like a small, apprehensive smile on her lips.

Six months later, after a sojourn up and down the West Coast, Steven returns to the ridge en route back to Beach City for a visit. He pulls up just as the sun is rising over the canyon, glinting off Yellow’s arm ship, and off of the chest and arms and backs of the little gaggle of Gems gathered next to the ship and the adjacent hole. Yellow is not among them, though. She stands on the crest of the cliff, gazing at the trees, at the little buds beginning to spring into being on each branch.

“Steven.” She turns to him in greeting as he gets out of the car.

“You’ve been busy!”

“Yes, we’re progressing nicely.”

“We?”

Yellow nods. “Some of the Gems I reconstructed from the Cluster decided to remain here to help. Then others in Little Homeworld—and even a few on Homeworld itself—learned about what we were doing, and traveled here to volunteer.” She pauses. “They’re here for the sake of the Gems inside the Cluster, not for me. Still, it is nice not to be alone.”

“Mm.”

Yellow turns from the trees to the canyon, in the direction of the rising sun. The growing orange light catches her Gemstone too, and it glimmers in it. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

“Yeah,” Steven says. “It is.”

[ao3]

[jaskiersvalley]

Please, Just Once More

@fontegagrilledcheese and @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde you wanted a cry, didn't you? Maybe this will help. It has some Lambert/Eskel and Lambert/Letho with off screen major character death, grieving and dash of an unhealthy relationship. Mature content ahead!

CW off screen major character death.

Please, Just Once More

A Witcher's lot in life wasn't exactly much. For decades, almost a century Lambert raged against it. He hated it, vehemently cursed it and wished he could have been anything but a Witcher. But, then again, if he hadn't been, he would never have met Eskel. Or, if he had, he would have probably been just as shitty to him as other humans were. As much as Lambert wished he was different, he knew himself well enough to know he'd have spat and sneered like the rest of the world. Having Eskel was the one small solace of his existence.

They had a rhythm worked out over the years, meetup points to see each other. It wasn't always glorious, muscle aching sex. Some nights they just needed a cuddle, a warm body who could be trusted to sleep next to. Those nights were Lambert's guilty pleasure. And the times Eskel growled and manhandled him. There weren't many people out there who could make Lambert feel small. In fact, other than Eskel, nobody had managed to do that. It was a wonder in his eyes, an indulgence that neither of them ever acknowledged but still actively sought out.

Another little while passed while Lambert was alone on the Path. Some nights the only thing that kept him going was the knowledge that soon he and Eskel would meet up again. This time, it was in a little backwater village where one of the old crones allowed them use of her barn for a few nights. It was only after Eskel had cleared a rather cheeky hirikka out who kept stealing from her vegetable garden that they were allowed access to the barn. She's had no other way to repay Eskel. So now, once a year, they spent a few nights there.

Finally, it was time for Lambert to make the trek to the barn. Usually Eskel was there half a day before him and got things ready. So Lambert was surprised and a little disappointed to find the barn locked and dark still. At least it allowed him the chance to make things ready for Eskel's arrival for a change. Getting the key from the old crone, Lambert got started trying to make things as homely as possible.

The next day Eskel still wasn't there. Lambert did his best not to get antsy or angry, Eskel wouldn't forget him, wouldn't break his promise or their traditions. By the following day, Lambert was restless. Disappointment was hidden under a fiery wall of rage. He was going to give Eskel a piece of his mind when he finally turned. The bastard had probably gotten lost in another fisstech filled orgy and forgot about their arrangement.

On the fourth day the old crone threw Lambert out.

Anger fuelled by fear had Lambert blazing through the next couple of months with a vengeful violence. He seethed at the thought of Eskel skipping out on their meeting. As if Lambert hadn't made it obvious enough just how much they meant to him. It was rare to get a good fuck on the Path and Eskel had been providing that service. If Lambert kept telling himself that, his heart wouldn't break in two and he wouldn't throw all his training out the window in favour of tracking down Eskel to make sure he was okay. Eskel was one of the best Witchers out there, of course he had to be okay.

Another meeting spot, this time a clearing in a forest. Lambert made the fire, set out his bedroll and caught two rabbits. In the morning, the rabbit Lambert had left on the side, carefully bundled up was still there. Eskel hadn't arrived in the middle of the night and, feeling peckish, eaten it. Just out of spite, Lambert had the rabbit for breakfast, even if he was nearly sick afterwards. He had been foolish to think Eskel would come. As if he could have arrived in the middle of the night without waking Lambert anyway.

After a week in the clearing, Lambert was well and truly sick of catching his own meals. If Eskel couldn't be bothered to make an appearance then Lambert would teach him a lesson and not turn up at their next one.

He did go, despite his vow of petty revenge. Eskel didn't turn up there either.

Two more meeting points where Lambert spent as long as he could, waiting for Eskel to arrive. Twice more he was let down. Come winter, he all but charged up to Kaer Morhen, more than ready to chew Eskel out for being a dickhead. He could have at least sent word that he wouldn't be there, that Lambert shouldn't waste coin and time on a foolish matter of the heart.

The only problem was, Eskel never made it to Kaer Morhen before the pass closed. For the rest of winter, Lambert paced like a caged wolf, almost out of his mind with anger. The coward was just avoiding him, unable to look him in the eyes after standing him up. Well, Lambert would make the bastard pay. As soon as the snow eased and the path down the mountain was clear, Lambert was going to hunt Eskel down and give him a proper Witcher bollocking; with signs and all. In all his scheming, Lambert never saw the pitying glances the others sent his way. Or rather, he chose to ignore them because Eskel was alive, if only so Lambert could kill him as soon as they met again.

Spring was just around the corner, there were still patches of snow and ice but Lambert needed to go. He was going back to the first place where Eskel had left him alone and would track from there. It was one of the things Lambert excelled at, sniffing someone out and finding them; it wasn't all that different to tracking down a monster or a creature.

Working backwards, Lambert didn't have to go far. Two town down the road he heard of a contract that had been difficult to fill in one of the nearby hamlets. So much so, it took more than one Witcher to complete it. It had to be Eskel who finished off the contract, Lambert was certain. There was nobody else who could take on a difficult contract and come out victorious. If Eskel couldn't handle it, then the whole Continent was fucked.

The ground was just starting to come up green again after winter as Lambert stepped into the hamlet. He was given wary glances and people scurried out of his way. It suited him just fine, there would be no obstacle between him and the person in charge of the settlement. Knocking to keep an air of politeness, Lambert didn't wait to be permitted to enter, he barged in.

"I want to hear about the Witcher who completed the contract last year."

The woman gave him a shrewd stare, obviously weighing up her options. In the end, she shrugged, "Not much to say about him. Short chap for a Witcher. Didn't much fancy his chances after the big one failed."

Lambert's world stilled. Surely he heard wrong. He tried to smile and shook his head.

"I'm sorry. Did you say short? And that the big one couldn't complete the contract?" By human standards, all Witchers were large. It didn't mean anything that this woman referred to the one that failed as big.

He was given another once over.

"The little one warned us not to melt down or sell the swords or medallion. That someone would be by for them." Her eyes landed on Lambert's medallion. "I'm guessing that's you."

That was not at all why Lambert had come. He wasn't there to ferry some random Witcher's shit back to their home. Fuck, if it was a Viper or a Cat then he'd have weeks of travel. Before he could protest, the woman stood and walked to a chest. Opening it, she pulled out a carefully wrapped bundle that clinked as she set it on the table. Lambert had no time to refuse, frozen in time while the world rushed by him as the cloth was flipped open. Two swords, one silver and one steel stared at him. Running up the almost familiar blades, his eyes settled on the pommel that he knew all too well. Wrapped around the handles, holding them close was a medallion, a snarling wolf angrily glaring up at Lambert for his failure to come find Eskel sooner.

"What happened?" His voice was hoarse, a hand reaching out to run a finger over the sharp edges of the medallion.

"Big brute, scarred to Nilfgaard and back, took the contract but never came back. After three days, his horse was getting restless so a few men ventured out. Found him propped against a tree, still warm but without breath in his body." The woman didn't seem all that bothered by it and Lambert wanted to rage. She should have been devastated that the world lost a good man. "Probably wasn't quick enough. The other Witcher came along not too much later, said we should burn the body, accepted the horse and the dead one's packs as payment. Left the swords and medallion though, said he had no use for those."

Logically, Lambert knew that Eskel was dead before he even got to the barn. But he couldn't help but feel like he should have gone looking. Shouldn't have assumed Eskel was fine, should have believed the little voice in his head that whispered that Eskel wouldn't ever deliberately forget him. Rage surged through Lambert, he wanted to slaughter the whole hamlet for now helping Eskel, for not going to find him sooner. Humans always claimed they were better than Witchers, but they hadn't gone searching for Eskel either. They were just as bad as Lambert, true scums of the earth.

Wordlessly, Lambert wrapped the swords up again but he took the medallion, tucked it into one of his pockets. The last bits of Eskel. Whatever bastard had the rest of his things, had Scorpion had better never cross paths with Lambert because the only way they'd part way was with one of them dead.

Turning to leave, Lambert marched out of the hamlet, kept walking, no destination in mind. He just wanted to reach the edge of the Continent and fall off the rim. Eskel was gone. There was no good left in the world. Nobody to cuddle close against, no broad chest to press into and feel small. Bereft, Lambert sat in the middle of a forest, heedless of what went on around him. Grief stole everything from him, almost as though Eskel had taken with him all Lambert had trusted him with. His heart was cold, there was nothing left in the world that Lambert cherished.

With no purpose, Lambert wandered the Continent. He took contracts without argument, without thought. In a way, he wished that the creature that had bested Eskel was still around, just so he could kill it. Instead, every other monster met their end on Lambert's swords and signs. No kill brought him any closure though. The rage gave way to numbness which eased into indifference.

"Hello little wolf," a low voice growled at the edge of somewhere South. Somewhere Eskel had never been, so no memories could taint it for Lambert. "You're far from your usual hunting grounds."

The Witcher was large. Far larger than any other Lambert had seen and he'd seen a lot. Snarling, he bared his teeth, protecting his pack, keeping Eskel's swords safe. He should have taken them and the medallion back to Kaer Morhen but that would mean letting go of the last of Eskel. Lambert wasn't ready to do that.

Laughing, the other Witcher shook his head. "Don't worry pup, I have no use for your knickknacks. The name's Letho."

"Lambert."

A Viper who seemed all too entertained by Lambert's very existence. He was probably all too confident in his size being to his advantage but obviously he'd never met Lambert who thrived on defying the odds. Within moments Lambert had a dagger at Letho's throat and was met with a delighted chuckle.

"So feisty. Okay, let's play!"

It wasn't much of a fight, more of a tussle but Lambert landed in a few good blows before Letho's bulk overpowered him, broad chest against slender back, all that weight. Lambert couldn't help but go pliant, remembering Eskel's weight against his back. It wasn't the same, too broad, too heavy, too much muscle but it was the closest Lambert could get.

"Oh, it's like that, is it?" Letho purred.

Not that night, but three nights later Lambert found himself naked with Letho in his bed. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend it was Eskel again, the heaviness of a large body making the bed, dip. But the smell was wrong, the fingers too thick, callouses in all the wrong places. Scrunching his eyes shut, Lambert tried to will his memories into reality.

"You're going to feel so good split open on my cock."

It was the wrong voice and Lambert growled, "Shut up. Just fuck me already."

"Eager. I like it."

The cock that sank into Lambert was big, too big. Eskel had been large but not to such a degree. Wrapping his arms around too broad shoulders, Lambert's fingers brushed against oily skin rather than hair. Nothing tickled at his face either, no hair that escaped from being tucked behind Eskel's ear. Huffing in frustration, Lambert shoved at Letho.

"Hands and knees," he declared. It would be easier, he wouldn't have to smell Letho's scent, feel his muscles or miss the tender, crooked kisses he and Eskel used to share.

In the new position, Lambert could almost feel Eskel behind him. But the hands on his hips were too large, the cock not curved just right for when Lambert angled his hips just so. Still, he could pretend, even if it was for just one last time, that this was Eskel and this was their goodbye.

Once they both spilled, Lambert panted, head on his arms while Letho cleaned him up with his tongue. Not something Eskel would have ever done, his stubble too chafing usually for Lambert, no matter how great the idea of it all was. Instead, that weirdly smooth Viper buried his face between Lambert's cheeks, a hand sneaking between his legs. Lambert came again, whimpering at the oversensitivity of it all. There were bites and kisses left on the insides of his thighs, across his hips, chest and neck.

They fell asleep, Lambert small and tucked under Letho's chin. Even his dreams betrayed Lambert though, as much as he wanted, he didn't dream of being back in Eskel's arms.

Come morning, the bed was empty and Lambert sighed in relief. He stared down at his body, littered as it was with bites and bruises. Even those were wrong. Eskel used to leave crooked marks, the notch in his lip making the shape of his kisses so unique. Pressing on them, Lambert wanted to cry at how wrong they looked on his skin.

"Not to your liking?" Letho asked as he stepped back into the room.

Lambert shrugged, not bothering to cover up. It wasn't like Letho hadn't seen it all the previous night. It wasn't Eskel, never was and never would be again.

"They're not the ones you wanted, are they?"

The question had Lambert stilling, blinking up at Letho. Finally, he managed a small head shake. "You're not him."

Eyes glancing towards Lambert's pack, the two swords still covered, Letho nodded.

"I know."

[wisteria-lodge]

burnt snake primary + bird secondary [model?]

Hi! I have been aware of the Sorting system for a long time now but I always get stuck in typing myself. I was wondring if you could shed some light on the process.

If we go by what I score at the test, it's usually a tie between Snake and Lion primary (most likely Bird last) and Bird/Badger secondary (most likely Lion last).

Internal primary / Built secondary, I can work with that. 

If we go by the "favorite characters" test then most of them are Snake primary and/or Bird secondary. I also have found that Lion doesn't exactly mess well with me, most character with a Lion anything get on my nerves but that's not a constant.

Fictional lions can be exaggerated in a way that works as a power fantasy for real lions... but I’m mostly just interested to see if the ‘favorite character’ test works out. 

I've also come to realise in real life that i absolutely hate deception or betrayal especially if it comes from someone I trust/close to me. 

I mean... is there anyone who is like ‘yes, I’m totally cool with people I trust betraying me.’ 

I also have an issue with loyalty and honesty both so I can understand why Snake/Lion is tied for my primary. My issue with Snakes is that I don't think I have this "no matter what" support. I bond with people a lot but if they don't treat me right I will push back, I will cry, I will tell them off 

Snakes might have more trouble than Lions when it comes to breaking with people who mistreat them... and they might feel more conflicted and “sticky” afterwards, since being loyal to people is the base of their morality. But they will absolutely do it. 

Think about a Lion changing their mind versus a Bird changing their mind. They both *do* it, but since a Bird has access to all the levels of their system, it’s all very consciously constructed, and they’re used to poking at it - change isn’t usually *that* big of a deal.

But I’m a Lion. If I’m going to change my mind, I need to smacked over my head with the lesson, usually multiple times (although I’m getting better about that...) I’m going to have a mini existential crisis (those things clear out the cobwebs.) And then I’ll be emotionally recalibrated. Snakes are internal primaries just like Lion, so their process is more like that. Dropping people is hard and emotional and sticky, but when they are dropped they are dropped. Badgers, since their *reasons* for whether or not they are responsible for someone are much clearer and more accessible, have an easier time writing people off. 

if I don't get the level of intense I'm looking for I will translate that as "not caring enough" and I'll break up or if that's not possible for whatever reason i'll be miserable.

You certainly want to get Snake loyalty directed at you, and if you don’t get it, you’re miserable. And the fact that something like that would make you miserable... is making me think Snake. This is very Snake-flavored angst.

A huge sourse of pain in my life had been some things that happened with my father that I translated as him probably loving himself more than me. I always see that Snakes stay loyal to their close ones no matter what and I'm like: why would I stay unwavering to someone that hurts me? 

You wouldn’t. You shouldn’t. No one should. 

I didn't abandon my dad when he was sick but I'm pretty sure I was Burned and resnting him 24/7 (sorry for the heavy stuff).

Being a caregiver is INCREDIBLY hard (there’s a reason you can hire people to do it, and they’re payed so well.) Being a caregiver to a family member is even harder, and being a caregiver to a family member who’s hurt you is probably one of the hardest things a human being can do. It’s really, really not unusual at all to resent the sick person, and you should not feel guilty about it. 

You also mention that Snakes understand other Snakes when they put their loved ones first and maybe in real life I do it but I have a huge example of me watching a Snake primary character not cutting off his love interest when she was awful to him from my perspective (emotional manipulation, choosing others before him, rejecting him, generally not loving him) and being LIVID about it.

I guess what I would say to you... is that even though the other primaries show their love differently, it does not mean they love any less intensely. A Badger choosing someone in need instead of you does not mean they are *not* loving you. 

Generally I tend to prefer couples that have things in common and two Snake primaries together will most likely be my favorites, most of my ships are like that.

There is something very attractive about two Snakes in a relationship together, but remember that all these different primaries and secondaries do balance each other out. I tend to think that *exact* house matches make unfortunate romantic pairings. They re-enforce each other’s negative traits, get too extreme, and sometimes get stuck because they’ve only got the one way to approach, and solve a problem. 

I have been very adamant about my friends not giving manipulative people the 'get go' to do whatever they want with them because I can see the indiference and the manipulation. 

Manipulation is a problem solving strategy, indifference is a motive. They’re not the same thing.

I get mad when they don't listen to me eventhough I turn out to be right. Most of the times I have cut off people from my life is the reason I said preiously, that I don't think they give as much support as I do to them and they end up after a point on my "I don't need you in my life anymore" list.

I’m starting to think you’re a Burnt Snake. You are clearly Snake, and you want to distribute Snake loyalty to the people around you. But it doesn’t feel safe (probably because of baggage left over from your dad - he hurt you, so you’re scared that they will too.) So you’re hyper sensitive to anything that doesn’t feel like the most extreme devotion. And just like a Burnt Badger rejecting people preemptively, before they have a chance to fail them... you’re rejecting people because it hurts less than them rejecting you. 

I think Lion gets up high because I can understand the need for following a 'cause' but in my case it's not exactly a moral cause, it's simply that I always wanted to be an actress and generally expand my knowledge on cinema/TV/theatre so I studied it. I wanted to be succesful in my job and get better and better and better. I am interested in prizes but only if they come as a recognition of my skillset (if that makes sense). I always thought that people were my priority even though the goal of achieving my dreams was always guiding me but as I grow older I'm not so sure anymore. I just know I couldn't be walking through life all alone.

This sounds like a Snake with no people (who wants people.) Without people, Snakes take care of themselves, and that often look likes job, money, prizes. (It’s where the old stereotype of “ambitious” comes from.) 

When I was thinking about what I wanted to do for a living, I wanted something that would wake me up in the mornings and make me feel that my time at a job won't be wasted. 

As do we all.

But I also needed for everything to be a real job, not charity for the "cause" eventhough I have worked A LOT just because I love doing some things and not ony to get paid. But I guess these things are fueled by my love and I don't see them as "profession" per se. 

People? Until in we live in the Star Trek socialist utopia, you need to be paid for the work you do. Even if you’re working for a charity and even if you’re doing something you love. 

Another pointer towards Lion is that I do identify with the thinking of systems and how they play a part in people's lives and how they should be changed. But I'm not sure I always did this. I think I've been Burned as well at some point (not sure if I still am) so that makes things difficult.

Yeah, you’re Burned. And sometimes Burnt Snakes will latch onto a Lion Cause, the same way that Burnt Lions will latch onto an individual’s morality. That’s actually pretty common.

The secondary thing is pretty simple imo, I think I'm a Bird but I might be Burned? I don't know if that "useful/fun" situation makes a difference for me because I always think that whatever I have collected is actually useful to me and if I got new skills, they would be useful to me as well at some point.

I don't know what else to write really, I think it's quite a lot to read already. If you have an inclination about my type I'd like to hear your opinion.

You haven’t talked at all about how you solve problems. Which might relate to burning, or it might not. But if you tend to collect skills and tools, that’s at least a Bird secondary model. <3

[givemeweasley]

Scapegoat

George Weasley X Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: mentions of blood (nothing serious), Umbridge ew, angst

A/N: thanks to @i-padfootblack-things​ for the request :) This is my first request so thank you again and I hope you like it!!! Also here's a link to the request for those of you who want to know what it was! 

Request

-----

“This is a bad idea.” You whispered in George's ear. Fred was hidden behind a pillar across the corridor smirking as he glanced down the hall.

George let out a small laugh before turning to you and kissing your cheek. “All our ideas are bad ideas, love. At least for the people they happen to be about.” He winked and turned back around. You hated that heat rose to your cheeks, but you couldn’t help it. You loved him.

Yet that love didn’t entirely erase the feeling that this prank was going to go bad.

“Here she comes.” Fred's voice rang out through the Extendable Ears.

And with a flick of his wand, George’s half of the prank came alive.

You watched as Pansy Parkinson took an unknowing step into the puddle of goo that George had charmed to be like instant cement. Instantly, she began to struggle but the more she struggled the more the goo climbed up her legs.

You peered over at Fred who was snickering before waving his wand for his half of the prank.

Suddenly, a Blast Ended Skrewt fell from it’s frozen place in the ceiling and landed in front of Pansy, who was full on shrieking.

“Time to go, princess!” George laughed, grabbing your arm and tugging you away.

But Pansy was still struggling, the goo was at her waist and steadily climbing higher.

Fred began jogging to meet the two of you. “That’ll show her not to mess with you.” Fred winked your way.

But you felt awful.

Tugging your arm from Georges, you took off down the hall to find the goo at Pansy’s neck with the Blast Ended Skrewt firing away at her.

She was missing her eyebrows and the ends of her hair were simmering.

You pointed your away at the creature and shouted. “Immobulus!” The Skrewt seized, but froze in its place. “Stop moving, Parkinson! It makes it worse!”

But she screamed in frustration. “I should’ve known it was you! You filthy disgusting-”

“Y/L/N! What is the meaning of this?!” Professor Snape's billowing robes flowed behind him as he appeared from seemingly nowhere.

You stood frozen, wand still in the air pointed at Pansy. You knew it was useless to try and say anything but still you wanted to try.

“Sir, I was just trying-”

“She did this to me, Professor Snape!” Pansy shrieked, the goo now at her chin. Snape glared at you but not before waving his wand to remove the goo that had been steadily encasing Pansy. He then pointed at you menacingly.

“Detention. For a week.”

“But-”

“Starting now.” Snape turned on his heel and you knew he expected you to follow.

-----

For the next several hours you were forced to count Flobberworms, clean spare cauldrons, reorganize shelves, etc. until Snape decided he was tired.

You were covered in Flobberworm goo, your bones were aching and you had a headache. You wanted nothing more than to crawl into your warm bed. Actually, that was a lie. There was one thing you wanted more. You wanted to punch your boyfriend. And his brother for good measure.

They left you there. To deal with Pansy and Snape alone. And while they were the masterminds behind the prank, it was you who got in trouble for it. Neither of them even bothered to check up on where you were. No saving you from detention or making some wild excuse that McGonagall needed you that instant.

They’d quite literally fed you the snakes.

The march back to the Gryffindor tower didn’t make you feel any better. The neverending flights of stairs made you ache more and the dark quietness of the corridors only fueled your anger.

“You look-”

“Balderdash.” You muttered, not wanting to hear the Fat Lady’s comments on your attire. You knew you looked gross.

Sighing, she swung her portrait to allow you access.

You clambored in, ready to get to the shower and then collapse in bed. Your eyes were locked on the dorm steps when someone spoke up.

“Hey.” George was sitting on the couch looking at you with a guarded expression. You blinked at him, before deciding you didn’t care and turned back to make your way up the stairs. You weren’t in the mood to talk to him. “Wait, princess!”

In a moment, his hand was wrapped around your forearm before it was immediately snatched back. “What the hell is this?” He sounded just as disgusted as you currently felt.

You whipped around. “It’s a lot of things. Flobberworm goo, Longbottoms failed potions, Moly dust, would you like me to continue?” You snapped.

George had the grace to grimace and look guilty. He wiped his hand on his pants. “Y/N… about that-”

Hot tears sprung to your eyes before you could help it. “You left me there! It wasn’t even my idea to prank her! Yeah, it hurt that she called me what she did but I didn’t want her to get seriously injured!” You pushed him. “And instead of helping me help her you just ditched me, like the coward you are.”

You were about to turn on your heel and march right back up the stairs when George put his hands on your cheeks, and gazed at you so earnestly your heart stuttered.

“That’s not entirely true.” George held up his hand, traces of blood still evident despite his obvious efforts at trying to wipe it away. I will be obedient.

The color drained from your face as you looked at the words etched into his skin. You forgot all about your detention and were suddenly focused on what happened after you left the twins.

“What happened?” You whispered, clutching his scarred hand in yours.

George flinched as your fingers brushed over the raised skin. “Me and Fred were running, I thought you were behind us- Umbridge was coming around the corner and decided we were up to no good. I turned back to tell you to run while we distracted her, but you weren’t there. Thank Godric.” His other hand tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “We spent the better part of our night writing in our blood.” George's hand slipped from your cheek and slowly grazed its way from your shoulder to your hip, pulling you close. “That doesn’t mean I’m any less sorry that you got caught by Snape.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Although I’m glad you're covered in- whatever this is- rather than your own blood.”

You looked up at your boyfriend, your heart swelling in your chest with love for him. “I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have called you a coward.”

George laughed as he descended to press his lips against yours. “No harm done, princess.” His arms wrapped around you tightly as yours lifted to curl around his neck and pull him infinitesimally closer. The feel of his lips draining whatever anger was left in your heart. It was difficult to be mad and stay mad at George Weasley.

Finally, you pulled away breathless. “I love you, Georgie.”

“I love you too, princess.” He glanced down. “So much that I don’t mind being covered in- Flobberworm goo.”

You raised a brow and began to pull out of George’s embrace. “Well, I guess that means I should go shower.”

George winked before grabbing your hips and lifting you until you were wrapped around him. “I’m taking that as an invitation.”

You laughed as he carried you up the stairs towards the dorm bathroom. “Then consider yourself invited.”

Taglist: @huffledor-able541​ @sarcasticallywitty15​

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep13

The true mystery of this show is trying to figure out how to even talk about each episode without just repeating myself or talking about other parts of the franchise, lmao.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus probably spoilers for both Umineko and Ciconia.

I’m not even sure where to begin talking about the fundamental issues this show has at this point, lol. It’s easy to just say that Sotsu on it’s own is bad, but I feel like it’s highlighting the fact that right from day one there were problems with the show’s structure and it’s intentions that have just become more and more of an issue as time’s gone on.

At the very least, I think that it was a huge mistake for them to have the gun cliffhanger happen midway through Gou, and to then spend so much time on backstory stuff and answer arcs. That just cast a negative shadow over all of those arcs because everyone was just impatient to get back to the cliffhanger. At this point I think they shouldn’t have even had Nekodamashi be in Gou to begin with. If they transitioned straight from Tataridamashi to Satokowashi then you could keep the general cliffhanger of revealing that Satoko’s the culprit without making people so impatient to go back to it and see what happens afterward.

But there’s also the issues like how Satokowashi revealed everything we needed to know about the howdunnit of the mystery, or how the whole gimmick of reusing the same scenarios as the VN in order to play both sides and make it technically accessible to new fans really wrote them into a corner and forced them to spend more time on the answer arcs than they needed to.

If we at least assume that the whole story ends in this arc, I think you easily could have condensed it all into one 2-cour season if they’d just committed to aiming this at old fans.

I guess there’s still a chance we’ll get some sort of continuation, but at this point I feel like the only way to get that much more content is if it ends up mostly retreading Satokowashi from a different perspective, which might actually drive me insane, lol.

In general it just feels like we’re already at the climax of the story one way or another, and there’s not many ways to keep it going for much longer without it seeming super forced. Like, Eua and Hanyuu are having their big confrontation with each other, and now Rika and Satoko are both on the same page, so they’re going to basically be stuck in a stalemate until one of them gives up. There isn’t really any mystery left to answer aside from giving more info about what’s going on between Eua and Hanyuu, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and not drag this out.

We also know from TV listings that a different show is going to taking over Sotsu’s time slot next season, so unless it changes time slot for some reason, we’d probably have to wait until at least January to get a continuation, and I just dunno if that’d even be worth it.

I’ve already gone over my general ideas for how I think this will end, but I still think it’s entirely possible to wrap things up in just two more episodes. At the very least, if we get another full cour out of this then that’d probably just end up only having a few more episodes of actually new content, so my point still stands, lol.

I don’t think this episode did much to change my mind about where this is going, but it did at least clarify a couple of things. Like how Eua explicitly calls Hanyuu a ‘part of her’, which means that I’m probably right about my interpretation of them being two halves of the same being. There’s still a lot of different ways they could explain it, but at this point it’d basically still just boil down to the same idea of them being two parts of the same person.

It’s also more clear now that Rika more or less didn’t really know about Satoko being the culprit until the last minute, and was starting to get flashbacks to the end of Tataridamashi. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that. It’s kinda hard to believe that Rika wasn’t at least suspecting Satoko by that point, but I do like the implication that Rika wasn’t fully dead when Satoko arrived, since that at least feels like pay-off for Satoko being so cocky and openly monologuing about how evil she is when she thinks Rika’s dead and can’t hear her.

I guess this episode also shows that there wasn’t anything particularly special going on with how Takano decided to confess to Rika in this one specific loop, which is also kinda underwhelming. Basically it seems like it just boils down to her feeling guilty about all of the stuff she remembers doing, but it’s still kinda weird that she didn’t confess to her in any previous loops. One of the weird issues with Gou/Sotsu’s storytelling is that Rika seemingly put no real effort into trying to investigate Takano even though she remembered her being the culprit, and I think that could have been really easily resolved if there was a scene like this in Onidamashi where Takano confesses her sins to Rika and leaves the village, since that would at least give a reason for her to not try and investigate them, and to assume that somebody else is behind these new loops. They could have even just had that happen off-screen and only be shown in Oniakashi if they didn’t want to spoil new fans. It just seems like a really easy change to make that would have made Rika’s passivity and hopelessness in this series way more understandable.

I think we’re also meant to assume that Satoko reacting to the box in this episode was just her faking it, since there’s no real indication that her conscience has returned or anything. But I’m not really sure why Satoko would go out of her way to fake that, when the trap box hadn’t even come up in that timeline. Maybe it would have made more sense if we saw her inner thoughts in that scene, but it kinda feels like they had to come up with some sort of scenario where Satoko would accidentally display knowledge that only a looper would know. Compared to how she’s been almost overpowered and hyper-competent in this series compared to Rika, it has a weird vibe of her being stupid because the plot demands it, lol. Either way it just seems kinda weird and contrived.

We also ended this episode on the gun cliffhanger again, which I saw coming, but it still kinda stings, lol. Hopefully the payoff is worth it. Realistically I think Satoko will just immediately shoot Rika, and we’ll cut to them having a proper confrontation in the meta world. With how they compared it to the ‘miracle’ scene with Takano in Matsuribayashi, it’s possible that they’ll somehow stop Satoko from shooting her, but I dunno. The stuff Hanyuu said about how this ‘isn’t the world that Rika fought for’ makes me think we’re probably not gonna stick with this loop for very long anyway, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and get to the part where the two of them fight it out in the fragment world once and for all. Which at least seems to be what that one part of the OP is teasing at.

On that note, the only other mysterious part of the OP [and the key visual] left is the older club members in new outfits, which still feels like a bit of a loose thread, but it’s entirely possible that it doesn’t really mean much. For one thing, it could be as simple as it being related to an epilogue scene back in the Matsuribayashi timeline where they’re in different outfits to the ones we saw them wear last time we saw them. Either way I don’t really think the other club members are going to be super relevant to how this all ends, so one way or another whatever that stuff is related to could still just come up in the next two episodes.

Basically the question is just how exactly the big conflicts are gonna get resolved, and what note we’ll end things on. Which also ties into the larger question of whether or not this is genuinely meant to tie into Umineko [and maybe Ciconia] like they’re indicating, or if that’s some kind of elaborate troll.

I know i’m biased, but I think all the Umineko and Ciconia stuff is totally sincere, and Ryukishi really is using this as a way to start tying the wider WTC-verse together in a more concrete way, so that’s what I’m basing my theories off of.

With that in mind, I still think this will end with Rika and Satoko officially abandoning their humanity and becoming witches together, with the sword maybe being an in-universe plot device to depict that process. And with the reveal that Eua and Hanyuu are for all intents and purposes two parts of the same person, I feel like their side of things will probably end with them merging together in a way that creates Featherine, which would at least explain why Featherine’s personality is more mild than Eua’s, and also why Bernkastel is her miko, and why Featherine’s whole name is a giant pun about Hanyuu. It’d also fit with the whole religious motif that Hanyuu has going on if she basically ‘sacrifices’ herself to neutralize Eua. It’s at least the closest I think we’ll get to seeing Eua be ‘defeated’.

And on that note, I don’t really think this will end with anyone like Eua or Satoko being used as a villain who everyone else defeats so they can go back to their happy ending, since that’s the exact sort of thing that Ryuukishi regrets doing originally, and is why we’ve gotten so many redemption arcs for people in Gou/Sotsu. So I think at most we’ll see Eua get turned into Featherine so she’s less actively hostile towards everyone else, but I think this will ultimately end with Rika and Satoko reconciling and mending their relationship.

Over on the Matsuribayashi timeline side of things, I feel like this is gonna end up paralleling Nekodamashi a bit, and we’ll find out that Satoko ended up planning to kill herself in the Saiguden, but Rika and the club will show up at the last minute and she’ll choose not to. Then we’ll probably see her and Rika talk things out properly, and maybe Satoko will find out that Satoshi woke up from his coma or whatever, and that way they’ll all still get their happy ending, while also simultaneously we can still have Rika and Satoko split off their witch selves into separate entities that become the Bern and Lambda we know in Umineko.

It’s possible they’ll do something with the idea of Satoko losing her game and being sent to a world without Rika, but that also might just not happen at all. So who knows.

If they really lean into the idea of this directly setting up for Umineko, then it’d be neat if we also see Satoko and Rika meet Ikuko in the future of the Matsuribayashi timeline.

There’s also the Ciconia teases to think about, but they seem to be going in the direction of Ciconia taking place before all this even happened, so I think that’ll be kept kinda nebulous and unexplored until Ciconia itself finishes. Ryukishi might announce a release date for phase 2 after Sotsu ends, but I think it’s way too early for anything like an anime adaptation of it. I’d rather they wait until at least after it’s finished before they do something like that.

On the other hand, Umineko’s been over for like ten years, so it’d be much easier to do something like a remake for it after this. I have a lot of thoughts about how that might go if they do that, but I’m gonna wait until Sotsu ends and then make a separate post about it.

Anyway I guess now I just have to wait and see what happens next week, lol.

[ampmiscfiles]

To Us You’re Worth Everything: Chapter 12

Start From The Beginning

"Jesus, kid!" Clint winced, looking Peter over. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Not the time, Clint." Steve said, slowly moving forward, not wanting to upset Peter.

The boy's eyes were wide with emotions, none of them anything Steve wanted to see. Peter hadn't done anything wrong.

"It's ok, Peter." he said evenly. "Let's get you inside and cleaned up. Tony will be here in just a few minutes."

Peter's eyes darted between the three Avengers as his feet shuffled.

"I wouldn't consider running, baby spider." Natasha smiled, openly sincere.

"You're one of us now."

Peter looked up at her. He wasn't sure how to feel about her easily given sentiment. He didn't know why they were bothering trying to make him feel comfortable. They could see him. They could see the blood.

The blood that clearly wasn't his.

"Come on, Peter." Steve said easily, moving slowly forward so as not to alarm the teen.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

Peter looked between the three. His anxiety was rising as the understanding of his current state was setting in.

"Let's go, Peter." Natasha smiled, breezing past Steve's cautious form and placing her hand firmly on Peter's back.

"You'll feel better once you've gotten cleaned up and in fresh clothes. Things are going to be hectic when everyone gets back, so I suggest making use of the relative quietness in the meantime."

Peter just started up at her as she left him inside and towards her room with Steve. It probably would have been better to take him to his own, but given Peter's severe apprehension to everything that had happened the last few hours, letting him know a room had already been set up for him probably wouldn't be the best move.

Gently, but firmly, she guided him towards the bathroom. Without speaking, she grabbed a towel and wash rag and laid them on the counter.

"Just use the soap and shampoo that's in there." she said before turning and looking him over.

"You're a little on the small yet precious side, but I'm sure we can find you something to change into."

She grinned at him once more before turning and walking out, shutting the door behind her. Peter waited, listening to the sound of her footsteps getting further away.

Once he could no longer hear them, his eyes locked on the window. Moving across the bathroom, he placed his hands on the glass and inspected the window.

"I have been given temporary audio access to the bathroom, Mr. Parker. I am to inform you that I have placed the windows on lockdown. You will not be able to open them."

Peter jumped at the sound of the AI speaking.

"H..how did you.."

"I detected pressure applied to the glass. Given your last visit, I made the assumption that it was best to go ahead and warn you against trying to exit that way."

"Of course." Peter mumbled as he moved back to the shower.

Turning on the water, he began to strip off his heavily soiled clothes. Of all the ways he could have pictured the day going, showering in Black Widow and Captain America's bathroom hadn't been a part of it.

Sliding under the warm spray, Peter did something he hadn't been able to do in years.

He shut his mind off.

No thoughts of anything. Just the feeling of the warm water hitting his skin.

Soaping up the rag, he watched in a detached way as the tinted water made it's way down the drain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where's my kid?" Tony asked, walking into the common area.

"Taking a shower. He was filthy." Natasha said, looking up from her book.

"What happened to him?" Clint asked, concern on his face.

"Not sure." Tony sighed, flopping down on the couch.

"I still can't believe you put him in a suit and sent him here." Steve said, shaking his head.

"You saw him." Tony defended. "He didn't need to be out wandering the streets period, but much less looking like that! He tried to run from me, you know. The kid needs help and unfortunately, I don't see him just accepting it."

"You can't force it, Tony." Steve frowned.

"No, but I can give him every opportunity to take it."

"You're going to have to have a serious talk with him about what you've done." Natasha said, looking him in the eye.

"I'm well aware." Tony groaned. "Not just with him, but Pepper too. I'm sure that, if FRIDAY doesn't. one of you will rat me out."

"Where have you two been?" Clint suddenly shouted, jumping up from his place on the couch.

Everyone turned as Wanda and Pietro stood frozen at the entryway.

"We...just needed to get out for a little bit." Wanda stuttered.

"There's been a lot going on." Pietro shrugged. "We just needed a moment."

"That's fine, but next time, you need to let us know you're leaving."

Natasha smiled as she stood up and walked to the twins.

"We need to have a talk before-"

"Ms. Romanoff?"

Everyone turned as Peter's voice called out, closing in on where everyone was.

"Thank you for the clothes but I think they're a little bi-"

Peter stopped abruptly as his eyes scanned the room. Not only had Tony finally arrived, but so had Wanda and Pietro.

The three held eye contact, and Peter suddenly felt very uncomfortable in his slightly to large, borrowed clothes.

Clothes that were obviously Pietro's.

Still, beneath the awkwardness, the flame of the soul bond ignited once more. It spread its warmth throughout Peter's body, slowly pushing away at his tenseness.

Oh no.

This wasn't supposed to happen!

DO NOT RUN!

Peter flinched slightly as the voice boomed in his head.

A throat clearing finally broke the stillness as Tony stood up and made his way over.

"Hey, Pete. I'm guessing you might want to-"

"Peter!"

Peter spun around as a sobbing Pepper darted into the room.

"I was so worried!" she cried, pulling him close and tight.

The two stood with Pepper clinging to him a few moments before she pulled back and cupped his face between her hands.

"Oh, Peter." she laughed wetly. "I'm so glad you're safe. When we got to the home and you were gone, I didn't know what to do. Then we heard about-it doesn't matter. I was so afraid you had been hurt. Thank goodness you're ok."

Peter stood, frozen in Pepper's warm embrace. He didn't know what to do. Genuine concern for his well-being and safety wasn't something he had experienced since Ben and May.

"I should ground you good, Mister." Pepper sniffled again. "Keep you inside and in my line of sight at all times."

Peter couldn't even remember the last time he had been grounded.

No one ever seemed to want to give him a reason to be around.

"And you two," Pepper said, addressing Wanda and Pietro without letting Peter go. "I better not hear about you two just disappearing again either. Now, get over here."

The two grinned, rushing over and sandwiching Peter in between them.

Despite himself, Peter felt his body relax.

Physical affection.

He secretly craved it, but had long since buried the idea of ever getting it.

"Can I join in?" Tony grinned, only to have it fall as Pepper shot him a glare.

"Are you going to trap us in a suit to do it?"

"FRIDAY, you traitor." Tony mumbled, backing away from the little group cuddle.

After taking a steadying breath, Pepper pulled back. Wanda and Pietro remained in contact with Peter, their bond demanding physical confirmation that Peter was actually with them.

"A suit, Tony, really?" Sam said, walking up behind Pepper with a raised eyebrow.

Huffing, Tony threw up his hands.

"I needed to make sure he was ok!"

Peter lowered his head as the others joined in on chastising the billionaire for his choice. Even though he shouldn't, Peter felt guilty hearing Tony be yelled out when he was just trying to help. He just wanted to make sure Peter was ok, and now he was getting fussed at for it.

Just another person suffering because of him. Tony never would have done that if he hadn't ran.

"Peter?"

Peter jumped at the voice suddenly in his ear. Turning his head, he looked into Wanda's worried face.

"Are you ok?"

"Do you want to go some place a little less....crowded?" Pietro asked.

Yes.

"I....I..." Peter struggled to speak.

Say yes!

Why was this stupid voice so insistent? Nothing good would come of this move.

“Boss,"FRIDAY interrupted."The police are on the line."

Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Pep, I think we should both take this one."

Pepper nodded, moving to give Peter one last squeeze before following Tony out of the room. Once they were gone, there was an awkward silence for a moment before Steve broke it.

"Don't worry Peter, we'll get everything sorted out."

Peter looked into the comforting face of Steve Rogers, a contradicting sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Well, I don't know about all of you, but I'm starving." Sam said, making his way to the kitchen.

"That's a fantastic idea!" Clint grinned, following behind.

"Are you hungry, Peter?" Wanda asked, turning him toward the kitchen.

"Sam's the best cook here." Pietro grinned. "You do not want to miss out."

Hungry!

The voice shouted, and despite his anxiety at his location, Peter had to agree. Besides, it would do him good to keep his energy up.

"Y-yes. A little."

"Good." Natasha said, coming up behind the three. "You're to skinny as it is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well, that was fun." Tony said, leaning back against his desk as the call was ended.

"Well, at least we get tokeepPeter this time." Pepper replied with a sigh.

"They should have let us keep him in the first place." Tony huffed. "He was better off here anyway. The adoption papers were already filed and there's are serious charges filed against his former gu...I refuse to finish that."

"We'll need to keep a close eye on him. He ran from us here once, then from the home. No doubt he'll try again." Pepper said, moving to stand in front of the large window.

"I should inform you Boss that Mr. Parker attempted escape from Mrs. Romanoff and Mr. Roger's bathroom earlier. I have the windows on lockdown as programed."

Pepper looked back at Tony with questioning eyes as Tony gave a little smirk.

"Protocol Glass Jar." he shrugged. "Can't have our little spider escaping on us."

"Glass Jar, Tony? Really?"

"Well, it was better than Protocol Bug Box."

Pepper made to respond before stopped with a pinch of the bridge of her nose.

"You know what, it's fine. It keeps Peter safe."

"I knew you'd come around to it.

"Don't push your luck, Stark."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter watched with fascination as Sam moved fluidly through out the kitchen, Dish after dish of food made it's way to the table

Why haven't we already been eating like this?

It's not like I had many options.

Peter grumbled in reply to the accusation in the voice's tone.

You need to eat. We are hungry!

You will wait! These people are heroes, they need to eat first. We shouldn't take so much from them.

We. Are. HUNGRY!

Peter angrily pushed back against the voice. This wasn't his home, so it wasn't his food. He shouldn't be taking anything from them really, but he wasn't stupid either.

Yes you are.

Shut-up.

You said they get to eat because they are heroes. We are a hero.

Spider-Man is a hero. I gave up the suits. We're not a hero.Not now.

The voice's angry rumbled under his skin as he was directed to a seat between Wanda and Pietro. The two smiled happily at him as they both piled food onto his plate

"We gotta put some meat on you." Pietro grinned at him.

Peter nodded back, a warmth crossing his cheeks.

"Go ahead and eat, Peter." Wanda smiled warmly. "We don't do shy at this table."

As she said that, Clint moved to steal a piece of bacon off Natasha's plate, only to have his hand slapped and his own bacon stolen.

"Hey!" he shouted in indignation.

"You should know better by now." Natasha gave him a pointed look.

"You could have just slapped my hand. You didn't have to steal my bacon."

"You obviously won't learn from words alone."

The two continued to bicker as small talk took over the rest of the table. Peter looked around at the smiling faces. Everyone seemed so happy and at ease with each other.

Was this what a healthy family looked like?

He remembered meals with Ben and May. They were always happy times, even when May burned the food.

But that had been so long ago it seemed. Almost like another life. He hadn't seen this type of family meal in a long while.

I don't belong here. Everyone is so happy. I'll only ruin things for them.

HUNGRY!

The voice shouted, snapping Peter out of his thoughts. He looked down at his plate, his eyes widening at the amount of food before him.

Eat. Now.

Picking up a piece of bacon, Peter bit down, letting the flavor wash over his tongue. For years now, he had been living off bland foods since he wasn't valued as being worth any of the good food. Now, something a simple as bacon was the best thing he had ever tasted.

Baffling once again, his brain shut off as he dove into the food with an eagerness he hadn't had in a long while.

Delicious! More!

Peter continued to eat, missing the smiles around the table as everyone was happy to see the to thin boy eating to his content. No one bothered to try to include him in talk, not daring to disturb him and risk him completely stopping.

Occasionally, Wanda or Pietro would run their hand through his hair or brush up against him. Without even thinking, Peter would lean into their touches, an action that didn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table.

The unfamiliar feeling of fullness began to settle in Peter's stomach as his plate emptied.

"Tell me you saved us some!" Tony's voice cut into the room as he and Pepper entered.

Peter looked up at the two as everyone assured them some had been set aside before telling how they had just wanted to make sure Pepper had some.

"Ha ha. I'm kicking you all out." Tony huffed.

Everyone laughed as Pepper rolled her eyes and the two sat down.

"Everything ok?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. We're all good." Tony replied, throwing a smile Peter's way.

Conversation picked back up around the table, even more relaxed than it had been after Tony's words.

Peter wondered what had happened that had changed things so quickly.

Slowing down his eating, Peter studied Tony Stark.

The man had been supportive of him, yet he had also betrayed him on multiple occasions. How could he sit there, acting like everything was fine when the only reason Peter was even there was because Tony had basically kidnapped him.

He hadn't run because he wanted to, he had run because he had to. He had to leave. He was meant to be alone. Always alone.

Otherwise, the people her grew to like got hurt.

Tony had brought him into their home.

Tony had doomed them.

"Peter?"

Peter looked over as Pepper smiled at him.

"Once you finish, let's go talk, ok?"

Peter nodded, unsure of what else he could do. He was essentially trapped here until he could figure out how to bypass the AI system.

We want to stay. The food is good.

Peter grumbled quietly as he finished up.

"I'll take that Peter." Wanda smiled, scooping up his plate.

Peter watched her walk to the kitchen, a sadness at the loss of her closeness flittered over him.

"Come on, Peter." Pepper said, ushering him out the room.

"We have a few things to talk about, sweetheart. Things that are very important for you to understand."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter followed Pepper down the hall and back into the very office he had stood in only hours ago.

"Have a seat, Peter." Pepper said, gesturing to one of the large chairs.

Peter shuffled over, sitting down slowly.

Nothing had been going how he had planned or thought it would. He was supposed to be gone, alone somewhere far away from the Avengers and his soulmates. They weren't supposed to be welcoming him into their home as though he was worthy of being there.

"I wanted to let Wanda and Pietro come with us, but I think you and I need to have a talk alone."

Peter swallowed. Maybe he wasn't as welcome as he was beginning to think.

"I'm going to start by saying, you're not going back to the group home. You will be staying here."

Peter's head snapped up to look at Pepper's face.

"Everyone is in agreeance, thathereis the best place for you. We got some......serious news while on our conference call with the police. The Matthews have confessed to all the charges that were going to be placed against them."

Peter's eyes widened in shock. Kathy and Kent had.......confessed? Confessed to what?

To your abuse.

I wasn't abused.

Peter replied.

They treated me how I deserved to be treated.

The voice hissed angrily, a tempered rage.

You were abused!

"Peter?"

Peter jumped as Pepper's voice cut through his silent argument.

"Y-yes?"

"I said, some....other accusations have been set against the Matthews. Accusations that don't pertain to you, but due to your placement with them, it's important you understand how necessary it is for you to stay here and avoid the city for a while."

Peter frowned. If the charges against the Kathy and Kent didn't have anything to do with him, then what did it matter?

"The media already know they had a child in their custody. It won't take long for them to figure out who you are. We're trying to bury your involvement, but we can't account for everything."

Peter frowned. Nothing was making sense. Pepper's words didn't sound like Kathy and Kent were facing any charges against his conditions while living there, so what had they confessed to?

"Don't worry any more about them, Peter." Pepper said as though she could read his mind.

"They're no longer people you should concern yourself with. You'll never be seeing them again."

Peter nodded cautiously at Pepper's definitive words.

"Now, despite the extreme circumstances, there have been a few things in our favor. Since we applied for your adoption prior to the arrests of the Matthews, the courts are going to allow us to proceed with things. They are hoping a quick adoption will also offer you more protection from the press. It's no contest that you're safer here with us than at a public group home."

"Then, why was I sent there?"

Peter froze.

Why had he asked that? It didn't matter that he had been sent there! It was where he needed to go to be able to leave! Now he was here, and there was no way to leave!

Pepper smile softly at him.

"At the time, the allegations against the Matthews were just that, but now, they have been confessed to. Now they are official charges. Before this, the protocol was for you to go to the group home until a time that your adoption could be addressed."

You ran. They are afraid you will do it again.

And he would. He knew he would.

He had to.

"You'll be staying here as your adoption is getting pushed through. A social worker will be out tomorrow to discuss some things with you and us." Pepper paused, studying Peter's hunched form.

"I need you to listen carefully to me, Peter."

Peter nodded slowly, his stomach churning.

"You are now considered a flight risk. Security on you will be tight until we can assure the state you won't run. If, and we really do hope it won't, your picture gets out, people will be keeping an eye out for you. They'll want to know your story of your time in the house."

Peter swallowed hard. The more Pepper spoke, the worse it got. He was causing them all so much trouble.

"I know this is hard for you, Peter." Pepper sighed. "A lot has happened in such a short time and you haven't been given any real chance to process things. I want you to know though, you're safe here. No one feels put out by you being here. quite the opposite really. I think they'd be upset if you left us."

Peter looked away as Pepper spoke. He knew she was just saying those things to make him lower his guard. They didn't really want him there. Maybe they wanted Spider-Man, but not Peter Parker.

Spider-Man was gone though.

He is not gone. He is us. You can't get rid of him. You are being stupid.

A knocking on the door stopped their conversation though, something Peter was grateful for.

He suddenly wasn't as Tony Stark strolled into his office.

"Sorry to interrupt Pep," he started. "But I think this would be a good time to talk with the kid myself."

"I don't think it would be." Pepper frowned, crossing her arms. "After the stunt you pulled today, you're lucky I'm letting you anywhere near my son."

Peter gasped as he his head shot up to look at Pepper's defensive pose.

Her son?

"Or our mate." Wanda huffed, her and Pietro storming in behind him.

"What is this? Gang up on Tony day?" Tony grumbled.

Peter watched as the four bickered amongst each other over his state. The last time anyone had fought over his feelings was when Ben and May had fought over which flavor would make him happiest in his birthday cake.

"He's a chocolate boy May!" Ben had stated confidently.

"No, he likes the traditional yellow cake." May had argued.

"Chocolate is what will really make him smile."

"You're insane Parker. My boy is a yellow cake man."

"We'll compromise, dear. Chocolate center, yellow frosting." Ben grinned.

"Nice try. Yellow center, chocolate icing."

Ben sighed in mock defeat.

"Very well, dear."

"That's what I thought." May grinned and giggled.

Peter had been more thrilled over the silly argument than the actual cake, but they hadn't need to know that.

Peter shook the thought away. It had been the last "argument", if it could even be called that, the two had had before Ben's passing.

"You can talk to him another time Tony." Pepper said, no room for argument in her words.

"After what you pulled today, I doubt he wants to talk to you anyway."

"Fine." Tony scoffed, throwing his hands up and marching out the door.

There was silence before the three turned their attention back to an uncomfortable Peter.

Arguments were something he tried to avoid when he could. They never ended well for him and he was always proven how in the wrong he was.

"I'm sorry, Peter." Pepper sighed. "Tony can be...."

"Pushy."

"Thoughtless?"

Wanda and Pietro offered.

"Sometimes." Pepper agreed with a little fond smirk.

"Anyway, how about we go see your room."

"M-my room?"

Peter looked at them, not sure he was understanding their words.

Why did he have a room? He knew they weren't actually going to keep him. This was only because they were also involved in the Matthews case because of him.

Just another inconvenience he's caused. They should have just left him alone.

"Yes, your room!" Wanda smiled grabbing his hand and pulling him up.

"Wanda spent most of yesterday arranging things like a mad woman." Pietro grinned, ruffling Peter's hair.

Peter felt his cheeks heat up at the attention.

"Let's go then." Pepper smiled, leading them out.

Wanda laced her fingers with Peter's as Pietro wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

They followed Pepper to an elevator that was tucked off to the side. The ride was quiet but surprisingly comfortable.

"Here we are." Pepper said, stepping off into a large living area. "The bedrooms are off this way."

Wanda, Pietro and Peter, still wrapped together, followed behind her as they walked down a spacious hallway, stopping in front of a black door.

"This is your room, Peter." Pepper smiled widely, pushing open the door.

Peter's eyes widened as he looked around the large room. His room at the Matthews 'could easily fit inside this one. Against the wall was a large, king size bed, covered by a deep blue comforter and more pillows than he had ever seen on a bed.

Against another wall was a large dresser, with all the drawers in proper working condition.

There was a bathroom attached to the room, as well as a walk-in closet.

A large window looked out over the green lawn surrounding the compound.

Empty shelves lined the walls and the empty bookcase stood waiting for anything to fill it.

"We wanted you to have space to add your own touches." Pepper smiled. "We don't know what kinds of books you like, or toys or anything, so we wanted to provide you with some places to put them once we start shopping for them."

"The dresser and closet already have clothes for you." Wanda grinned, opening up one of the drawers.

"We used FRIDAY's measurements for your suit to get your clothes." Pietro said, hoping to calm any fears the clothes may have given Peter about his privacy.

Peter moved over to peer inside the drawers, catching sight of the science pun on the front of the top shirt.

They were spending money on him.

Money he didn't deserve to have spent on him. He hadn't done anything to deserve the clothes. They had put themselves out for him and he didn't deserve it.

"I had no idea Tony would do what he did, so I hope things aren't to awkward with letting you know that our room is just down the hall. This is our private floor so you don't have to worry about anyone barging in on you."

Peter's head snapped up, looking at Wanda and Pietro before he spoke.......without thinking.

"I don't get to stay with you?"

There was complete silence.

Peter felt as if his whole face was on fire as what he asked sank in.

How could he ask that?

Why would he ask that?

Having his own room was the best option while he was here. Why was he basically begging to be with them?

Pietro and Wanda snapped out of their frozen states and surged forward, pulling Peter to them.

"We didn't want you to feel pressured." Pietro said, rubbing his back.

"We would love to have you with us." Wanda smiled, eyes misty. "But it's your decision, little spider."

She cupped his face, bending slightly to place a kiss against his forehead.

Peter felt his body warm up with comfort of the physical connection with his soulmates. His face continued to flame as they showered assurances upon him of their desire to be with him, but wanting him to feel comfortable and have some private time to adjust.

Deep down, despite how hard Peter tried to bury the feelings and thoughts, he wanted to be with them.

He felt loved.

He felt conflicted.

He wanted to cry.

Why did they want him?

What had he ever done to deserve them?

He had, over time, began to question if Ben and Mayhadreally been victims of their love for him. That loving himhadkilled them.

His parents.

Ben and May.

They had all loved him.

They were all dead.

Stop thinking. You are annoying.

Peter shut his eyes against the sting, and leaned into Pietro's chest. He felt Wanda's cool fingers run through his hair.

Slowly, as if of their own accord, he felt his hands lift and grab ahold of both of their shirts tightly. A silent plea to continue to hold him.

The two didn't move, only held him a little tighter.

His eyes grew heavy while embraced in their warmth. He hadn't had any sleep since yesterday, and the excitement of the past two days was catching up to him. He just wanted to sleep. He was warm, and safe, and....relaxed.

He closed his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pietro caught Peter as he slumped against them.

"He must be so tired." Wanda frowned as Pietro scooped the small boy up and carried him to the bed.

"Would it be weird if we stayed with him?" he asked, chewing his lip.

"I don't want to leave him alone somewhere strange." Wanda said without hesitation as she crawled onto the bed, tucking Peter in to her.

Peter let out a little breath as he snuggled up to her in his sleep.

"We can always slip out before he wakes up. He seems pretty happy with things right now. Come on." Wanda smiled, motioning for him to join them.

Pietro smiled, slotting himself in on Peter's other side.

He couldn't remember ever feeling this content.

"We have to make sure we're out before he wakes up. We told him we didn't want to pressure him. Waking up with us in bed might be to much." Pietro said, running his fingers through Peter's curls.

"We will. Until then, I plan to enjoy having him with us. I feel so....right."

Wanda smiled down at Peter's peaceful face. He looked so relaxed and unguarded. She could only hope they would get to see him wear the expression all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter blinked his eyes open slowly. The room was bathed in the pinks, reds, and oranges of a setting sun. He pulled the blanket that had been thrown over him closer, missing the warmth he knew he had been feeling when he fell asleep.

Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and looked around. He stared blankly around the room, trying to figure out why nothing looked familiar.

"Where am I?" he shouted, jumping up, panic running through him.

"You are at the Avengers' compound, Mr. Parker."

Peter yelped in surprise, tangling his legs up in the blanket and face planting on the floor.

Get up. You are embarrassing us!

"Shut up."

Peter muttered, pulling himself to his feet. He looked around the large room again, the events leading up to being here playing through his mind.

"Wh...what time is it?"

"It is currently 7:00. You missed lunch and supper, but food was set aside for you to have when you woke. I have alerted Ms. Potts that you are awake."

"Ms. Potts?"

"I have been given strict instructions not to involve Boss in anything pertaining to you, Mr. Parker."

Peter blinked in surprise. Pepper Potts had the ability to override Tony Stark?

She really was the one in charge.

Peter looked over as the door opened, and a smiling Pepper walked in.

"Hello, Peter. Did you sleep well?"

Peter nodded. He had slept well. He hadn't slept so deeply in a long time. He had just about forgotten what a good night's sleep was like. He was so used to sleeping lightly, ready for any form of attack.

Yet here he was now, awake from a sleep so deep that he hadn't remembered he had even fell asleep to begin with!

"I...I did. Thank you."

"Good. Come on, honey. We saved you some supper. I'm sure you're starving."

As the words left her mouth, Peter's stomach rumbled loudly.

Pepper chuckled, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and ushering him out the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep right on through to tomorrow, baby spider." Natasha smiled as Pepper led Peter into the empty kitchen.

Peter ducked his head as Pepper sat him down at the bar and began pulling out plates from the refrigerator.

Natasha frowned as she took in Peter's slightly hunched form. She had only meant to tease him a little, yet Peter's entire demeaner told her he had taken her comment very seriously.

Peter acted like she had scolded him.

Things were worse than she thought.

Hoping to ease Peter's nerves, she slid onto the stool next to him.

"So, how do you like your room?"

"I...it's very nice." Peter said softly. "It's big."

"That's because Tony Stark doesn't understand the meaning of moderation." she grinned.

"He walks a thin line between it being endearing and a character flaw." Pepper chuckled, setting a plate baked chicken, potatoes and green beans.

Peter looked down at the plate of food, once again amazed at the portion size.

"Steve said we should keep an eye on your portions. He figures your metabolism is probably faster than a normal person, which is why you're so thin."

"I've always been thin." Peter replied hesitantly.

"As you'll most likely remain." Natasha shrugged. "But you're thinner than you should be right now. Eat up."

EAT!

Who even are you?

.......You ask us now?

Peter couldn't argue with that question. Instead, he began to eat as Pepper and Natasha talked.

"Peter! You're awake!"

Peter looked up as Wanda bounded over to him cheerfully.

"Did you sleep ok?"

Peter felt her warmth, as warmth he was almost positive had felt traces of when he had woke up.

"Yes. I...I did."

It wasn't a lie.

"Good." Wanda said with a nod. "You looked so tired when we showed you your room."

Peter felt the blush cross his cheeks as she brushed a few stray strands of hair off his forehead.

"Is everyone still in the common area?" Pepper asked, refilling Peter's glass with juice.

"Yeah. Clint and Pietro are currently competing for Mario Cart champion." Wanda said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you play, Peter?" Natasha asked.

"No. I..I never had the chance. I wasn't very good at them anyway."

"Well, that settles it." Natasha said with a smirk. "You're my favorite, my pебенок паук."

Peter looked at curiously. He wasn't sure what he had said, but her tone didn't suggest anything wrong.

In fact....it sounded rather fond.

"Oh no you don't." Wanda huffed, wrapping her arms around Peter and tugging him close.

"You have Clint's kids. You can't have Peter."

"Is that a challenge my little witch?" Natasha grinned, tossing her red hair over her shoulder.

"Um...I'm right here." Pepper grumbled as everyone looked at her.

"Yeah. Me. Peter's soon to be mother. I think I have a claim on him."

"He's my soulmate!" Wanda cried in exasperation.

"Semantics my dear." Pepper replied before Natasha could.

Peter sat, frozen in Wanda's hold.

Were they.....were they.....fighting over him?

Why?

Why would anyone fight to have his attention?

Who would want it?

He wasn't special and his attention didn't mean anything.

"He's mine." Wanda huffed. "He's mine and I'm taking him."

Peter felt himself pulled off his stool and shuffled to the doorway. His mind was whirling, desperately trying to process what was happening.

There was no way they were fighting over him.

No one fought for him.

People just fought him.

"Come on, Peter." Wanda said, backing out of the kitchen, keeping Pepper and Natasha in eyesight as though they might come to try and take him.

Wanda's possessive stance and feelings shot through the soul bond they shared, washing over Peter. His face colored and his breath hitched.

What was this?

His hands twitched, wanting to reach up and hold on to her.

No! Don't get attached!

He scolded himself for nearly losing his senses. He couldn't encourage that kind of behavior. He wasn't going to stay.

You are conflicted. It's annoying. It makes us want.....control.

Control?

The voice didn't answer, just festered under his skin. Like an ache to act. On what, he didn't know.

Wanda led him toward the door outside.

"I figured you might not want to be around everyone right away." she smiled at him.

"So I thought we might take a walk."

Peter felt his nerves spark. Being alone with Wanda? That was a dangerous step to take. It implied the desire for intimacy that he couldn't afford to have.

It wasn't like she was doing this for any reason outside the bond. Wanda pushed open a door and led him out into the last moments of sunset. The lights outside the compound were turning on, bathing the sitting area in a soft light.

"I want to get to know you. The real you. I want to know Peter Parker."

No you don't.

"I've gotten to spend time around Spider-Man, and as much as I like him, he's not Peter."

You should be grateful he's not.

"I bet Peter is just as good."

He's really not. You'll be disappointed if you continue this.

"So, tell me about yourself."

He didn't know what to say. There wasn't anything to say. He had no friends. He didn't do anything outside of school and Spider-Man. His hobbies weren't something he had indulged in in a long time.

He wasn't even sure he'd still like them.

Maybe if I tell her the truth, she'll realize what a loser I am and let me go before things get to far.

"There's really nothing to tell." he said, looking to the side.

"I don't have any friends, or any hobbies. You...you already know about Spider-Man, but outside of him, there's nothing else."

Wanda frowned as Peter refused to meet her eyes.

"Just because you haven't had opportunities, Peter, it doesn't mean there's nothing special about you."

Peter frowned. That was exactly what it meant. He wasn't special. Spider-Man was the only good thing about him, and he couldn't tell anyone about that!

Spider-Man was a secret!

Besides, no one would believe Peter Parker was Spider-Man anyway.

"There really is nothing to tell. I'm boring. I know it."

"Peter!" Wanda gasped, turning him towards her. "You are not boring! You're so strong, and that has nothing to do with Spider-Man! Nothing that happened to you in that....place," she hissed. "Was your fault. You didn't deserve any of that and you kept going! Your grades are perfect, Peter. With what you went home to everyday, that's pretty amazing. You were on your own Peter, and you've held yourself together better than you think."

Peter pulled back, looking at her sternly.

"You shouldn't talk about things you don't understand. You don't know what it's like being around me. You haven't spent enough time with me to know how terrible I am! You'll learn soon enough if you make me stay here though! You'll all learn, and you'll hate me just like everyone else! If you don't find out how worthless I am, you'll end up dead like my parents or Aunt May and Uncle Ben!"

Peter felt the tears sting his eyes. He knew he shouldn't be yelling at Wanda, she had only been nice to him, but he couldn't stop.

"People hate me because they should! I only cause trouble! I get thrown into the lives of people who never wanted me, but have to take me! I disrupt everyone's lives! No one ever gets to be happy when I'm around! Just do yourself a favor and leave me alone! Send me away! Send me somewhere you'll never run the risk of seeing me again! Just let me go and leave me alone!"

Peter turned sharply and ran towards the compound. Tears trailed down his face and he could feel Wanda's hurt and sadness course through their bond.

She would get over it though. They would send him away for sure now, and she and Pietro would get over it.

Once she told everyone how he had yelled at her, that would be it.

He somehow managed to find his way to the elevator and up to his room without being noticed. Hurriedly, he checked his bag that had been dropped off. Guiltily, he shoved a few of the clothes in the drawers into the bag. Once they sent him away, extra clothes would come in handy.

Now he was stealing.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks as he closed his bag and stood.

"Going somewhere, kid?"

Peter jumped, spinning around to look at the door. He swallowed as he took in the form of Tony Stark.

"I..."

Tony raised an eyebrow as Peter struggled to form words. Sighing, Tony walked in, placed his hands on Peter's shoulders and led him to the bed.

"Come on kid, I think it's time for you and I to have a little chat. If you're going to be yelling at anyone here, it should be me."

Peter flinched. How did he know?

"There's cameras all over the place here, Pete. I've been keeping an eye on you since Pep refused to let me see you."

"Of course you were." Peter grumbled.

"There we go." Tony grinned. "That's the attitude I wanna see, not that self-loathing one I saw you unload on Wanda."

Peter looked, anxious as to what Tony had to say.

"Look kid, I know I haven't been exactly.....trustworthy where you're concerned. I'm actually well aware of the lines I've crossed when it comes to you, but I can't say I'm sorry about it."

"Then why did you do it? You don't know me. You barely know Spider-Man if we're both being honest." Peter frowned, surprised by his own forwardness.

"I think I'm generally a pretty good judge of character kid." Tony smirked. "Spider-Man is already a better hero than I started out as. Spider-Man is devoted to being there for those in need. He doesn't go around showing off for the sake of it. He's a true hero, but he can't exist without you Pete."

Peter glared down at the floor. He wondered briefly where the strange voice was, why it had chosen now to remain silent.

"You still lied to me. You lied to me about finding me, and then you forced me to come back here. You put me in a suit against my will!"

"Admittedly, not my best decision, but what did you really expect me to do? Kid, you were covered in blood and already on the run. The police were out looking for you and whoever's been committing those murders struck not far from the home. I couldn't just let you be out on the streets."

Peter's hands clenched.

"I would have been fine! I could have handled myself!"

"Really? That bag was pretty lacking in supplies."

"You went through my bag?" Peter shouted, jumping up. "Who told you you could go through my stuff? You act like you can just do anything you want when it comes to me!"

"Considering the fact you shoved two very expensive Spider-Man suits under a bathroom cabinet, and I didn't immediately call you out on it, I think I should be given a little bit of a break on your privacy invasion. If you can even call it that."

"Of course you can call it that!"

"I noticed you didn't address the two suits." Tony deadpanned.

Peter hesitated. He didn't want to talk about the suits. This was about Tony crossing a line!

"I'm gonna stop you before you start, Pete. I do understand the fact things won't be the same between us for a while now that I know why you really didn't want me to find you. With that said though, I'll be talking with your mother about mandatory therapy sessions. I don't want to see another outburst like with Wanda."

"You...you can't do that!" Peter shouted, completely missing the fact Tony had called Pepper his mother.

"Look kid, I know all about self-hate, kid. In fact, no one is harder on me than me. I've gone to therapy for it, and although I'm loath to admit it, it's helped. After everything you've been through kid, you need it."

Peter growled, his anger rising despite the absence of the voice.

"You can't fix me! There's nothing to fix! This is who I am and everyone who gets involved with me learns that fact real fast."

"No, you've been made to think that way. As far as the real truth goes, you're just afraid of this being just like every other home you've been in. You're afraid that a pretty picture has been painted, only for it to be terrible once the dust settles. The real truth is that buried deep down, you know how you've been treated was wrong and that, no, you didn't deserve it and it scares you to acknowledge that fact because somewhere along the way, you suffered greatly for it."

He is right.

Just...just shut up! 

Peter cried, covering his ears.

He felt the warmth of tears as they rolled down his cheeks.

“Why fight the truth?”

“It's because you're lying!”

"Oh, I'm a liar? Isn't that your area? Arn't you the troublemaker here?"

Peter's eyes widened, snapping up to meet Tony's calm gaze.

Neither moved as Peter's heavy breathing filled the room. Tony knew he was being jerk, but he was fully prepared to be the villain if it led to Peter's path to healing. He'd take the abuse from the entire team if it helped his kid.

"I...I..." Peter struggled.

"I tell you what. I'm just gonna go. Why don't you take some time to really think about things. Think about how you've been treated here so far, and really think about the words everyone has spoke to you. Also, you should apologize to Wanda. She loves you." Tony said, brushing past the teen as he headed for the door, leaving without looking back.

As soon as the door closed, Peter collapsed to the ground in tears. He hated Tony Stark! The man thought he was so smart but he had no idea what he was talking about. He was just an asshole who thought he knew it all!

As Peter fumed over Tony, the voice took note of his lack of self-blame. Never once in his fuss did he put himself down. He focused on how Tony's treatment of him crossed the line, but never once considered the, what would have been normal, thought that he deserved it.

Tony Stark may have been as ass, but for the first time in years, Peter didn't blame himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do you feel proud of yourself?"

Tony jumped as he came out the hallway to find Natasha waiting on him.

"I could hear the yelling from here."

"You gonna rat me out to Pepper?" Tony asked, rolling his eyes.

"That depends. How do you feel?"

Tony stood, looking at the ground but not really seeing it.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I feel pretty numb at the moment. I guess I'm just waiting for Peter's response."

"My guess would be anger."

"Yeah. I'm anticipating that. No, what I'm looking for is what he does with our argument. How will it, or will it at all, affect his way of thinking."

"You really should let Sam handle this kind of stuff. It's his area of expertise." Natasha sighed.

"I told him he's going to therapy."

"Oh, I'm sure that'll go over well. Forced therapy rarely works, Tony."

Tony shrugged.

"If you think he would have talked either way, you're not the super spy I thought you were."

"Of course he wasn't gonna talk, but Sam wouldn't antagonize him either. That little stunt could have set him back."

"You just told me you heard us yelling!" Tony huffed, crossing his arms. "The kid fought back. He didn't cower and let me just push him around. Thats a pretty far jump from what we've seen."

"Just.....just don't try anything like that again, ok?"

"Fine." Tony said, looking off to the side before continuing. "I saw what I needed to."

"What was that?"

Tony grinned proudly as he looked at her.

"The fight hasn't been beaten out of him yet."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wanda sniffled as she lay on her bed, dried tears staining her face.

Peter had yelled at her.

He had yelled at her and ran.

"He's just stressed sweetheart." Pepper soothed, rubbing her back as Pietro wet a rag in the bathroom.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it."

"I...I know he's....he's going through a lot, but....but it's like he's....he's purposefully trying to ignore our bond." Wanda sobbed, looking up as Pietro tilted her chin and carefully wiped her face.

"He might be." Pepper agreed, shocking the twins. "He's lost a lot of confidence. The amount of affection he's getting here probably seems fake to him at this point."

"But....he should be able to since our sencerity through our bond." Pietro frowned.

"Yes, but it doesn't mean his mind believes it. It's going to be a process, so it's important you keep trying. Try not to get discouraged. The soul bond doesn't lie, Peter just has to get over his fears."

"Should we give him space?" Wanda asked.

"No. I don't think so." Pepper replied, shaking her head. "I'm not saying to crowd him, but he needs to see that nothing he says if going to push you away. In his mind, he's protecting you and himself from disappointment. Showing him that you're still going to stay with him will be very important."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Anyone heard why Wanda ran through here crying?" Clint frowned, his eyebrows furrowed.

"No, but my guess would be it had something to do with Peter." Steve sighed. "I wish we had found him sooner."

"Well, we can't change the past." Sam said, patting Steve's shoulder. "All we can do now is work on the future."

"I'm gonna go call Laura." Clint said, getting up and walking out the room.

"Think he'll leave? I know this whole thing has been hard on him, having his own kids." Sam asked.

"Honestly, I don't know. I know he cares about the twins as if they were his own, but Peter's went into the system young. Him and Nat have been pouring through Peter's files, and from the few I read, I'm really shocked that Spider-Man's been on our side and not the other. Given everything in his files and his age, it would have been understandable if he had turned to crime."

Sam frowned. He hadn't seen any of Peter's files, but if he was going to counsel him, he needed to get on it.

"Where'd they put his paperwork?"

"It's in our room. I suggest you take it to your room to read. We don't want Peter to know we have them." Steve said, standing up and leading Sam towards his and Natasha's room.

Entering the room, Sam waited as Steve entered the closet, rummaging around for a moment before emerging with the overly thick pile of paperwork.

"Jesus." Sam gasped. "All that's on Peter?"

"Yeah. It's a hard read, trust me."

Sam speechlessly took the files from Steve, a feeling of dread settling over him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter curled up on his large bed, hugging himself tightly. His anger at Tony hadn't left him, but other thoughts had started creeping in.

He felt guilty over yelling at Wanda. She hadn't done anything wrong. All she had wanted to do was get to know him, and he had yelled at her for it. He had yelled at someone who was being nice to him! All the people he had dealt with who had hurt him and shouted at him, he had never raised his voice against, yet Wanda speaks sweetly to him and he practically bit her head off.

Exactly why I should be alone.

You are overwhelmed. You need to work off this feeling. I am ready.

Peter frowned. He didn't know what the voice was talking about.

It was ready for what?

We need to leave for a bit. The streets are dark.

What did that matter?

I can't leave. You heard Tony.

I will take care of it.

And with those words, Peter's eyes closed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Returning to the common room after dropping off the files, Sam looked as everyone, minus Wanda, Pietro and Pepper were staring intensely at the tv.

"What's going on?"

"A strange development." Steve mumbled.

Walking over, Sam focused on the news broadcast.

"After their arrest only yesterday. The couple, Kent and Kathy Matthews confessed to multiple serious accusations from their hospital room. The two had been found having been victims to a brutal home invasion before being taken in by authorities after a call came through suggesting they go check on them. According to reports, the Kents were found with evidence surrounding them of cases of child abuse and human  trafficking.

Authorities confirmed the Kent's had been extremely forthcoming in details of their crimes.

We have no news as of right now when the court proceedings for their case will occur, but with this confession, it's likely to happen very soon.

It had also been reported that the Kent's were in custody of a teenage child at the time of the arrest. While the child has been removed from the home, it is unknown if he will testify against them for his own abuse case at this time."

Natasha frowned as she looked at the tv.

"I know what you're thinking." Clint said, looking over at her.

"They were gone a while." she replied.

"You don't think..." Steve started.

"Wait, wait, wait," Sam said, shaking his head. "I know where this is going. We all know those two were missing for a bit, but you can't possibly think they had something to do with this."

"If they did," Tony smirked. "I want details."

"Tony." Steve sighed.

"What, I'm only saying what everyone else is thinking." Tony shrugged.

No one argued.

[reddeadbread]

Fortunate ones

Javier Escuella x reader

Part 5

Summary: You recover from your first job with Javier.

Notes: this is another long chapter frick I’m sorry, this had been mostly written for days but here it is at last.

warnings: blood/guns?? SFW as always yall

word count: 2093

last chapter - next chapter

There was a loud thud of a body hitting the floor as the smoke cleared. You stared at the stranger you had just shot, shock taking over for a second that dragged on for an age. He didn’t die right away, and his co-workers wailed in terror while he writhed in pain. “fuck.” This was the best word you could come up with to summarize your current emotions. There was so much more blood than you thought there would be, his expensive tailored waistcoat soaking up all that red. That was a close one. It could have been you shot, or Javier. Oh christ, Javier. You whipped your head round to check on him.

“Mierda!” The victim’s gun had gone off as he went down but the bullet had thankfully only grazed Javier’s arm. Still not exactly how you wanted your first job to go.

“Javier!” you rushed to his side carelessly, anyone would think the bullet had hit his chest the way panic saturated your words.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” he whistled for the horses hastily. Those gunshots had drawn too much attention and anyone nearby would of heard it, you needed to move and fast. Both the driver and the passengers were too busy cowering to even dare try and attack either of you again and they didn’t move from their position, whimpering by the corpse of the man you’d shot when you snatched all the cash from the lockbox and crammed it into your saddlebags. “We need to move.” Javier pressed and you quickly mounted up and followed his lead. The thundering of the horse’s hooves matching the thundering in your chest as white-hot adrenaline coursed through your veins. It felt almost euphoric, or at least it would if you weren’t so worked up about Javier and about that man you’d gunned down.

The both of you bolted from the scene before anyone could so much as investigate, never mind alert the authorities, so it was safe to say you weren’t followed but that didn’t stop you from taking the long way back to camp. As soon as you were out of sight of passer-by and into the trees outside horseshoe overlook, you came tearing off your horse to his aid. “Let me see! That moron, I saw him reaching for his gun and I just-“ you cut yourself off mid-sentence and shook your head, as if trying to shake the thoughts out of your mind. He dismounted slowly, ready to insist he was perfectly fine until you caught him off guard again. Oh, so carefully you took his arm to examine the small wound, your touch as gentle as ever. Javier had been through a lot in his life, far too much as had most members of the Van Der Linde gang, but people were rarely so concerned for him. As long as he wasn’t dead it didn’t matter, you kept moving forward. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me. It looks like it hurts.” The guilt of it all hit you and the weight of it was crushing.

“I’m fine, Just a scratch. We got away, you got the money, right?” this was of more importance than him, at least that was the way it always had been. The life of an outlaw, life as one of Dutch’s boys. It was dangerous but that was how it was for him, he wouldn’t even concern himself with a near miss like this for a second. Still, he didn’t pull away when you took his arm, it felt nice for someone to be so tender.

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault, you could have been really hurt, or killed!” You frowned as you looked at the blood on his shirt. It was really true when you said you wanted your first job to be with him because he was your favourite, you trusted him after only a few short weeks and that was rare in this life.

He looked at you, it was obvious you were upset, and he didn’t want you feeling so terrible over something so silly. He rested his free hand over yours, it lingered there for a moment before he spoke “I’m really okay, y/n.” he smiled at you, moving his hand to gently tilt your head towards him to press a kiss to your forehead. He had acted on impulse, he wanted to make you feel better. Normally if he flirted it was all just a little game to make you blush, and normally because he was drunk and had a soft spot for you, but this was just kindness. Maybe that wasn’t the most obvious trait Javier displayed but he had a good heart just as you thought you did and this small gesture made that weight much less heavy.

“no nicknames? Now I know it’s serious.” You joked and he smiled, you felt better when he smiled. You hesitated for only a second before wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He laughed a little and wrapped his unscathed arm around you. You had a spark about you, enough grit to survive but enough heart to not be warped by all this.

“Javier? y/n? you finally back?” You heard Bills voice and pulled away, a little sheepish as you looked at him, wandering out here for guard duty. “oh, am I interruptin’?” he spoke mockingly, and you were surprised he was even intelligent enough to mock anyone.

“we’re back.” You responded flatly, taking your horses reins to lead her back to camp. Bill tried to give Javier a knowing look but much to his dismay he was ignored.

Of course, when you arrived back in camp Dutch wanted to know how it had gone and you handed over half of the money just as you were told. He didn’t ask anything else once the money was in the box. He didn’t even ask why there was blood on Javier’s shirt. Upon arrival into this gang you had wondered why people did whatever Dutch said but already you noticed that you were doing the same. He spoke so confidently, every word that slipped past his silver tongue was dripping with charisma and you did as he asked without even stopping to think whether or not it was a good idea.

Javier was ready to leave and volunteer for guard duty again before you stopped him, taking his good arm and pulling him back towards you “hey, come.” You dragged him along to one of the tables and he reluctantly obliged, bewildered as he may be. “let me see,” you waited expectedly, and he stared back at you blankly. “what? You want it to get infected? You want to lose that arm?” you’d had your moment of weakness, but you were concerned for him now. Harmless as it may be this injury surely hurt. “so let me see.”

“so you want me to take my shirt off?” he looked bemused still, not expecting his own personal doctor over this tiny injury.

“don’t get shy on me now. I promise not to faint.” You quipped, skimming through the exceedingly lacking medical supplies you’d found once you’d paid your pound of flesh you owed to this gang into the chest, but you wouldn’t need much. The wound was minor, just a scratch as he said but you took your responsibility for it.

He glanced around camp, not many people were around anyways, it was early afternoon and the sun was still high in the sky. Most people were out at this hour. “Well if you really insist Chiquita. Do your worst.” He slipped off his shirt to give you access to the small would on his left arm.

Your eyes drifted down to his body for a moment, you couldn’t help yourself, but you tried to keep your focus on the task at hand. You noticed a few more scars on his body that were previously hidden under his clothes and pondered how he got them all.

You looked at the small gash and dabbed alcohol on it as gently as you could but he still sucked in air through his teeth, he was pretty sure this was more painful than leaving it to get infected but he went against instinct to keep his arm still to humour you.

“sorry,” you apologised when he flinched, easing off to give him a moment to adjust before continuing on. You were no doctor, but you knew to keep wounds clean and covered so that’s what you did. He watched you closely, not accustomed to this attention but enjoying your touch and observing the focus on your face until you were done and looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. “I guess now I owe you two, once for this mess and again for saving me up on that mountain.”

“that was Dutch,” Javier corrected you, he had happened to be the one to find you but around here Dutch was boss, he was the one who allowed you to stay. He was quite sure that he was the reason you stayed too, Dutch was the glue that kept everyone together and there wasn’t a man or woman here who didn’t trust him with their life.

“I don’t think so. Besides, you’ve been kind to me since I arrived.” you spent more time with him than anyone, something about him drew you to him right away. “I mean, every person here has been nice to me. Other than maybe Micah but I don’t think he has a kind bone in his body.”

“ah, Micah doesn’t count as a person.” He joked as he slipped his shirt back on and pulled out cigarette paper to begin carefully rolling a cigarette. He gave you a sideways glance as he did “y/n? Today…was that the first time you shot someone?” when he asked you this your smile quickly vanished which almost made him regret asking.

He was too blunt, and you stammered in your response. “uh…yeah. First time killing someone at least.” You looked down at his hands fiddling with the cigarette paper to avoid the steady gaze of his deep brown eyes. Killing was something he was perfectly accustomed to but as he looked over to see you shuffling uncomfortably in your seat, he realised that was not the case for you. He offered you the neatly rolled cigarette as if that would be helpful now but you shook your head and he set it aside.

“are you alright?” a stupid question really but what else was he to say? He could hardly remember what it was like to kill for the first time.

“I’m alright.” You were lying really but you’d get used to it. Everyone else already had after all.

“you know he would of shot me if you hadn’t shot him. You shouldn’t feel guilty.” He offered, watching you carefully still as if he was worried you might break. You had been rather fragile when you had arrived back at camp.

“I know.” You paused, not wanting to talk about this despite Javier’s good intentions to console you, “why are you looking at me like that? You gonna kiss me again?” your smile was just a little less bright after that particular topic had been discussed but you couldn’t resist throwing this back at him again and it made him laugh as he lit up his cigarette.

“maybe I will, Princesa. Would it make you feel better? I can if you really want me to.” he took a deep drag of his cigarette before exhaling the smoke slowly. You felt yourself blushing a little and turned your face away.

“you wish,” you were still lying but you at least managed to play off your reaction as a dramatic eyeroll. Javier laughed as he took another drag of his cigarette. You’d never liked the smell of tobacco before but on him you did. “next time I should go out alone,” you announced after a few seconds of admiring the man in front of you. “then I won’t get anyone hurt.”

“no.” he replied too quickly “no. That’s too dangerous. Dutch wouldn’t allow it. If you want to go out again come find me.” He was uncertain if he used Dutch as an excuse, either to save face and not embarrass himself in front of you or to save face and not admit to himself that he liked you more than even he was saying. Either way it didn’t matter, he had signed himself up to stay by your side and you gladly agreed.

“Okay. I’ll find you.”

[patandpran]

Hard to Say Good-bye

What if Pang hadn't gone to Namtaan in the last episode and went to see Wave on their rooftop instead?

Aka the fix-it fic that has been living in my brain for weeks. Sometimes you just have to take things into your own hands.

Written for Day 8 of #thegiftedWeek for the ‘other’ prompt.

Pang looked out the window of the classroom and observed the school courtyard below. Looking back, so much had changed during his time at Ritdha and he had learned so much in such a little time, about himself and about the world.

He couldn’t believe he had to say goodbye.

In his pocket, Pang’s phone buzzed. He pulled out his phone and saw a text from Wave:

Rooftop.

Pang immediately felt a wave of anxiety roll over him. A smile tugged at his lips as he charged from the classroom to he and Wave’s secret meeting place. The shared space was their safe haven. It provided them an oasis among all the madness that they had experienced in their time in the Gifted Program and at Ritdha.

He bounded up the stairs and burst out onto the rooftop. He paused at the threshold of the doorway and saw Wave staring out at the campus stoically. Wave was always so still when Pang felt like he was constantly in motion: they were perfect opposites, as always.

“Wave.”

The calling of his name made Wave stir and turn to face Pang, leaning his back against the edge of the rooftop. Pang used to worry that someone might topple over the side of the building but that fear had long been extinguished. Although it was the first time he had been up to the roof after seeing Korn jump from the window and this realization momentarily sent shivers down Pang’s spine.

A welcoming smile spread across Wave’s lips as Pang approached him. This melted any nerves that Pang was feeling immediately. There was something about Wave’s presence that felt Pang was being wrapped in a warm blanket every time he saw him. Wave made him feel at peace, even in the most chaotic of times.

Wave turned his head to the side curiously, “I didn’t know where you were.You weren’t in our dorm room or the Gifted Headquarters. I figured that you’d be up here but… you weren’t here either.”

“I was just kind of wandering aimlessly to be honest.” Pang explained as he leaned his elbows down onto the edge. “I have a lot on my mind after everything.”

Wave’s gaze softened slightly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

Pang breathed out a long breath and forced a smile to appear on his lips. “Wave. We’ve been over this a million times. I’m fine.”

“Well, it’s the million and oneth time and I still don’t believe you.” Wave continued and leaned forward to mirror Pang’s stance so that their shoulder brushed together.

The contact made Pang still slightly. He had been so eager to come find Wave and now that he was here, everything that he wanted to say seemed out of place. They only had a few days left together and Pang couldn’t seem to form one sentence to share about how he was feeling with Wave. He had never been particularly eloquent with words but this felt different. All of the things that he wanted to say would change everything and he wondered if it even made sense to say them out loud when they had such little time remained.

Pang looked out at the school grounds and was flooded with memories of his time in the Gifted Program. They were some of the happiest moments of his life but some of the most troubling as well. He tried to look back at every experience he had endured as a learning experience but some of what the Gifted students had been subjected to because of Director Supot wasn't something that you could chalk up to a life lesson.

Thankfully, through everything, someone had been by his side.

A constant that kept Pang’s head above water when he felt like he was seconds away from drowning.

Wave.

While Wave and Pang had not exactly seen eye to eye for most of their first year in the Gifted Program, Wave had still been a force to be reckoned with that kept Pang driven and engaged with his lessons. Wave’s brutal honesty had been a great source of inspiration for Pang to work diligently to discover his Potential. When they finally realized that they ultimately had the same issues with how the Gifted Program was functioning, all of the energy that they had used being in opposition to one another was quickly fuelled into a working partnership.

It didn’t take Wave and Pang long to realize that they made much better friends than enemies.

When Pang lost his memory, it had been a trying experience for both of them. Wave had wanted to approach Pang and beg for his friend back every time they crossed paths but Ohm thankfully kept Wave on track. When Pang finally regained his memories, Wave had never been more relieved.

But nothing they had faced in the past prepared them for their final year at Ritda. For every small victory they gained, there had been much more damage to follow. Some of the which they thought was fatal for a time.

When Pang was forced to disappear, Wave felt like everything faded to grey. Of course, it didn’t take long for Wave to find Pang but the time where Wave was unsure of where Pang was had been torturous. During that time, the Gifted Group had scattered to the wind, and both Wave and Pang’s only solace was found in each other. This had only made their bond that much deeper.

But Wave could not be by Pang’s side all the time, especially in the final moments of Supot’s takedown. There was no way for Wave to know what Pang had witnessed throughout those separated moments but he knew that Pang’s scars from such encounters would take a long time to heal.

Their plan relied on Supot believing that the Gifted Gang was broken so, even though they thrived as a united front, they all had their own roles to play to make the Director believe they were all apart. Everything had been so unpredictable but the important part was that they had ultimately succeeded.

“It’s in the past.” Pang shared and stood up to his full height. “What matters right now is the present. That’s all I want to focus on.”

“If that’s what you want.” Wave nodded slowly. “I guess we have all the time in the world to talk about the past when you’re ready.”

Pang’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Wait… what do you mean? School is over in a few days.”

A panicked look passed over Wave’s face and he bit his lip as if he regretted what he had just said. He stood up and nervously adjusted his glasses before shoving his hands into his pockets. “Uhh…. never mind… I guess I shouldn’t assume anything.”

“Assume what?” Pang’s mind was reeling. What had suddenly made Wave so uncomfortable?

A smattering of pink appeared on the bridge of Wave’s nose as he avoided Pang’s imploring gaze. The tech wizard started to rock back and forth on his heels, a habit that Pang knew was an indication Wave’s nerves.

“Wave.” Pang urged gently and reached out for his friend’s wrist. Pang guided one of Wave’s hands out of his pocket and squeezed it light. “Just like you said before, you can tell me anything.”

Wave let out a small sigh before he relaxed slightly. “Do you remember the conversation that we had the other day about university?”

Pang’s mouth grew dry. With everything going on with the Gifted Program, Pang still had done nothing about applying for university. Life was too crazy and every time he had opened up the applications, it had felt much too daunting to take on. He figured he would just take a gap year and figure it out from there, even though his family would not be too happy with that reality.

“I…haven’t done anything about applying for schools.” Pang admitted and immediately felt guilty. “I know we talked about going together but it’s just been too much…”

Wave seemed quite calm about Pang’s response. In fact, he didn’t seem surprised at all.

“Wait… Wave.” Pang blurted out. “What did you do?”

“I, uh, may or may not have taken the liberty of using my Potential to help us both apply for every university that was remotely appropriate for our grades and interests…” Wave explained slowly.

Pang’s eyes grew wide and he dropped Wave’s hand in surprise. “Wave…”

Wave winced and started to ramble. “I knew I should have asked you first but life was getting so crazy with Supot and there were deadlines and it literally took me no time at all to access all your transcripts. You know how important it is to me for us to be together… anyway I’m sorry… I should have asked you first and I can retract all of them, even though we both got accepted a few places which means we definitely would be together and I just think that’s for the best and I don’t know how I would handle university without you and… Ultimately, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know where to start.” Pang muttered. “With the fact that I think I just heard you apologize for the first time ever or with the fact that I actually got accepted to university. But actually… the thing that sticks out to me the most is the fact that you want us to stay together… What does that mean Wave?”

Somehow Wave’s blush grew even deeper and he leaned his elbows down onto the edge again. “You know what it means, Pang.”

Pang wished that Wave would look at him as it would maybe help him to confirm what Wave was actually implying. Pang didn’t want to share what he hoped Wave meant if that wasn’t how his friend was actually feeling.

In that moment, Pang decided to take a risk. He had endured so much uncertainty in the past few years but there was one thing he was sure of… how he felt about Wave. He constantly wanted to be near his friend and over the past few months, his feelings had only grown stronger.  

They were on their rooftop. Their safe space. If Pang was going to boldly share the true nature of his feelings for Wave, this was the place and time to do it.

Pang reached once again for Wave’s hand but instead of taking his friend’s wrist this time, he gently took both of Wave’s hand in his own. There had been many moments that Pang had felt the urge to hold Wave’s hand but he had never acted upon the impulse. He was glad he had been brave enough to follow through on the instinct this time.

“I hope I’m right about what you mean because this will be embarrassing if I’m not.” Pang murmured as he lightly squeezed Wave’s hands.

Pang heard Wave’s breath hitch in surprise but he continued on anyway, “I can’t speak for you but I know how I feel about you… maybe I’m reading this all wrong but I just know that I want to be around you all the time and when I’m not, I feel this pull in me to find you again. I want us to be together next year too.”

“Just next year?” Wave blurted out but then a self-conscious look appeared on his face.

Pang chuckled fondly at Wave’s response before answering, “Well, longer than that… if you’ll have me…”

A smile stretched across Wave’s lips and he seemed to relax slightly. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about that.”

A comfortable silence fell between them. Pang studied Wave and saw that Wave’s gaze had fallen toward his own lips. The realization made Pang have the urge to lean forward but he still wasn’t completely sure if his and Wave’s feelings were the same.

“When I say I want us to be together.” Wave’s eyes met Pang’s once again. “I hope it’s clear that I mean as more than friends.”

The elation that instantly spread throughout Pang set him slightly off kilter. He was glad he was holding onto Wave’s hands to anchor him to something - to keep him grounded. He was struggling to keep his composure and to string together a response that was either coherent or appropriate for Wave’s confession.

“And… if that’s not what you mean, I’ll back off.” The hurt was evident in Wave’s eyes and he pulled his hands away from Pang’s.

Pang began to panic. He couldn’t lose Wave over something like this and he knew how damaging it was to Wave to believe that someone was leaving him. Wave had often opened up to Pang about how difficult it had been to learn to trust again after so many significant people in his life had betrayed him or disappeared from his life.

“Wave.” Pang blurted out urgently, advancing upon Wave and gently taking Wave’s chin in his hands. “Of course I feel the same way. How could I not? I mean… you’re you and I’m me… it just makes sense.”

The look of relief on Wave’s face was palpable. Both Pang and Wave quickly became aware of how close their faces were together. The proximity made Pang’s hands tremble and everything seemed to come into perfect focus.

“Pang.” Wave’s voice was shaky. “Just kiss me.”

Pang didn’t have to be asked twice. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Wave’s. It was as if, in that moment, everything fell into place. Every shred of doubt, anxiety and negativity dissipated and all that remained was: Wave. Wave. Wave.

When they finally separated, both Pang and Wave couldn’t stop smiling. Wave turned away and looked out at the school campus.

“You know, weirdly, I’m going to miss this place.” Wave murmured. “I hate good-byes.”

Pang slung his arm over Wave’s shoulder and shared, “Good thing we only have to say good-bye to the school. We still have each other.”

“I forgot how corny you can be.” Wave rolled his eyes.

“You love it.” Pang responded before sticking his tongue out playfully at Wave.

“I hate that I do.” Wave scoffed.

Both Pang and Wave stared out at the Ritdha campus. There was so much that had happened while they were there and they had survived it all because they had had one another. Pang doubted that they would have been able to get through it all if they had been forced to face it alone.

“Can we just stay like this for a while?” Wave questioned quietly. “I’m not ready to go yet.”

Pang nodded in agreement and Wave rested his head on Pang’s shoulder.

While there was so much that Pang wasn’t sure of, he was sure of one thing: he would never say goodbye to Wave, no matter what came their way.