#i guess charles is one edwin is two and crystal is three

[flufallo]

I got bored.

[fellow-fandom-fruitifier]

I’ve seen so many alive!DBD au’s where Edwin and Charles meet first, or Edwin and Niko/Charles and Crystal meet first, but I raise you: Rich Payne and Surname-Von Hoverkraft families meet first. They are industry RIVALS, okay? They DESPISE each other with a burning passion and trade thinly veiled insults back and forth at every event they meet.

(More under cut cause this shit is atrociously long.)

At first Edwin and Crystal ignore each other or send glares, following their parents lead, but then they get older and Crystal starts acting out to get her parents attention while Edwin starts distancing himself from his. Both of them get the idea of, “What if I get to know the Payne’s/Surname-Von Hoverkraft’s daughter/son? My parents would HATE that.” So a friendship is formed.

In the beginning it’s toxic bitch levels of fake on both their sides, good lord they can’t stand each other. One day Crystal’s drunk off her underage ass and just starts openly venting and Edwin — the always sober guy and no it’s not cause he cares that’s preposterous!! — meets her tit for tat. Because, c’mon. Of course they’d drop random trauma on each other like fun facts.

Anyways they’re proper friends now, still appear the same — arguing is their love language — but there’s a level of solidarity now. Insert Edwin getting sent off to St. Hilarion’s for another year — Crystal threatens him to write her back per usual — and his classmates pull the prank. Not sure what 73 years in hell would be here, I’ve seen so many interpretations but I think kidnapping and torture is accurate.

While that’s going on Crystal gets a new boyfriend at her school. Any guesses?? She writes Edwin about David and Edwin does not hold back, he’s part of the reason Crystal tries to break up — it doesn’t go well, not sure how yet — and she writes Edwin about what happened craving comfort. Usually postal’s pretty fast, they aren’t that far, but she doesn’t get a response one day in. Two. Three… She finds out her best friends been kidnapped AFTER a news article has been released.

Turns out her parents knew the entire time but neglected to tell her. Crystal stops speaking to them. It’s 73 days later before she gets anymore news outside of, “The Police Are Still Looking”, and it comes in the sign of a knock. She hadn’t got much sleep that night — didn’t most nights — so she’d been wandering around her kitchen aimlessly. (As you do.) When she heart a soft rap on her front door. Curious, and too tired to care about danger or consequence, she opens the door.

Crystal doesn’t recognize him at first, he’s shivering and there’s so much blood on his- his everywhere but then a very weak voice croaks, “Crystal.” She screams. And sobs. Because what else do you do when your friend had to escape himself after 73 days of captivity and torture and the first safe place he could think to go wasn’t the police, or hospital, but you? Her parents are awoken by her scream and come rushing down because what the fuck is going on? And it’s all a blur from there — she refuses to leave his side and Edwin clings to her like a limpet.

It takes awhile of recovery and physical therapy — and regular therapy — after that but Crystal is holding his hand nigh every session, she’s there to bring him books and bicker and provide a sense of normalcy. Crystal forgets David for awhile, the only one to occupy her thoughts being Edwin because she knows he’d do the exact same. The two also get the satisfaction of watching their parents actually try to be amiable after this, it’s so stilted and awkward and they revel in it. And, yes, the tabloids somehow get ahold of the fact that kidnapped Edwin Payne fought his way to the Surname-Von Hoverkraft’s doorstep instead of literally anywhere else. Rumors pop up about his and Crystal’s relationship and the two make a teir list of their favs and least favs. Secret love child/half-siblings is their favorite, secretly dating isn’t even on the board they hate it so much.

College!!! The two decide against anything super fancy. And by that I mean they move to America together to find some community college to go to because neither want to be reliant on their parents who took a whole ass kidnapping to pay attention to them. Anyways, they share a flat above Tongue & Tail butcher shop with Jenny as their landlord. Crystal works as a freelance artist and tarot card reader (She’s really good.) while Edwin works as the librarians — Maxine’s — assistant.

Charles and Niko meet differently, Niko’s actually advertising her need for a roommate and Charles — who also moved to America to get away from his dad — takes it up. Fast friends don’t have a thing on these two. Niko gushes about this pretty girl across from them and Charles is man enough to admit, yeah, their neighbors are pretty fine. Too bad they’re dating.

———

Anyways more highlights of this AU in no particular order:

Crystal and Edwin physically recoil when Niko says something like, “Wait, I thought you two were dating?” Edwin puts his hand to his heart, too stunned to speak. Crystal fake gags and goes, “Why does everyone think that?! HE’S GAY!!”

Edwin discovers his sexuality at one of the clubs Crystal drags him to when Thomas King — older then them by a few years — flirts with him and he Panics™️. Crystal drags him away with a scathing look toward Thomas and asks if Edwin’s okay. He blurts out, “I- I’m gay?!” and Crystal goes, “You didn’t know??!?”

David tracks Crystal down to America and it’s a whole thing for obvious reasons, also because she forgot to tell Edwin about it in full — too busy helping him. This is how Crystal’s abusive ex trauma gets aired. (Charles maybe reveals some shit about his dad here too.)

Edwin and Niko go on a little faux-date together — cafe, library, just a chill day and night out — but Edwin leaves his flip phone at home and Niko’s dies. (Yes he has a flip phone.💀💀) So Crystal’s panicked as shit, last time she couldn’t contact him he was literally KIDNAPPED and TORTURED. Charles tries to calm her down before simply offering to wait up with her. When Niko and Edwin get back Crystal breaks down like, “You can’t DO that!!” This is how Edwin’s kidnapping and torture trauma gets aired.

Charles has a near death experience at St. Hilarion’s a few days after Edwin’s kidnapping. Turns out they went at the same time but Charles was a year under him and they ran in very different social circles. He gets chucked into the freezing lake and stoned still but a teacher catches them all and sends him to the hospital.

Niko’s dad died and her mom sent her to America to get away from the sadness, she caught a really bad illness and also almost died. Charlotte Knight was her Nurse. (Unrelated but she has Poliosis, which turns parts of your hair white.)

Esther is a serial killer and uses her son, Monty, to lure people in. Very brain washed Monty here sorry guys. She kidnaps Edwin who has several trackers on him — after the Niko Night Out incident Crystal and Edwin spent a night sewing them into each others coats and shoes — and the police arrest Esther and Monty.

Payneland and Palasaki of course, but this would probably be focused on Edwin and Crystal’s friendship. Yes, Niko and Charles get a shovel talk. “You know I adore you Niko and whilst I do not think you’d intend any harm, I will have to do something drastic in the event that it happens.” “Okay listen here dipshit. I have full faith you won’t hurt Edwin but if you do, intentionally or not, I will have to castrate you.”

There’s more I forgot lmfao, this is too long already😭😭 If I made any spelling mistakes no I didn’t

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

So, I've seen several questions about this, so I'm gonna try to do my best to share my explanation of the:

THREE FLIGHTS AND ONE FERRY RIDE LATER

FIRST IF ALL: THE DESTINATION

Port Townsend is a city, located at the Quimper Peninsula, in the Jefferson County, Washington, USA.

There's several ways to get there, and one of them is by ferry, in the following map, you can see the geographical location, and the ferry route (Coupeville – Port Townsend).

Now, let's go back to the start!

FROM LONDON TO WASHINGTON (THREE FLIGHTS, I GUESS)

Here, the questions are not about the route, but the money. For a lot of people, the logical and immediate answer is that Crystal used her powers to get into an airplane, but I think is plausible that she didn't use them exactly to avoid paying, and if she did, she felt very guilty about it (I'm gonna explain this later).

What is certain is that she used her powers to avoid security and registration at the airport (all the airports), because there was no way a minor was leaving the country, or jumping from one jurisdiction to another without documentation, a passport or an ID.

About the route, there's a lot of options here, but if I believe Crystal didn't use her powers to avoid paying for the tickets, is simply because there were better options than taking three flights, and if she was going to stole the tickets anyway, why no choosing a direct flight? Or at least, a faster one?

I mean that could have saved her a lot of trouble, because going from one airport to another with Charles and Edwin quarreling around her is not exactly the definition of a holiday vacation.

I'm sure she would have chosen any flight that could take her to Washington the fastest, the thing is that she didn't.

She got into a flight with two connections, and secured herself a headache too, so I guess she used the money she had on her, or most logically, her money + the money from the agency (let's give the boys some credit, at the end of the day, they're good at their job, and they care about getting paid).

Now, the route could have been something like this (based on a real flight itinerary):

London, GB -> Frankfurt International, DE

Frankfurt International, DE -> Calgary Intl Airport, CA

Calgary Intl Airport, CA -> Seattle Tacoma Airport, US

[I'm using ISO 3166 country codes, instead of the airports abbreviations]

Which translates into:

First flight: 1 hour and 30 minutes (+1h 30min)

First layover: 2 hours (+2h)

Second flight: 10 hours (+10h)

Second layover: 5 hours (+5h)

Third flight: 2 hours (+2h)

All of these sums up 20 hours and 30 minutes of dealing with Bert and Ernie, without a possible escape.

But the point is, that there are faster routes; a direct flight, or even a flight with only one connection, has a duration of 14 hours or less and is only €100 more than the journey of nightmares I just described, so why did she pick the longer flight if she wasn't going to pay anyway? quality time with the boys? weren't they supposed to be in a hurry?

Obviously, is possible that the flight they took was the first available, or even that they took a flight to a different state, and then travelled within the US, but in either case, I'm sure they didn't pick the fastest route available and the only reason for that is the price of the plane tickets.

Additionally to that, Crystal didn't have much money left to pay for rent when they arrived, and she was the most worried about getting money out of the cases all the season.

FROM SEATTLE TO PORT TOWNSEND: WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

There's no direct way to get from the airport to Port Townsend, they need to get to the ferry terminal in Coupeville first.

Don't worry, is not that hard to get from Seattle to Coupeville, is a two-hour bus ride and the buses leave relatively often, and you can take one from the airport.

So, here we are, back at the beginning. Welcome to Port Townsend, you will surely be enchanted by its beautiful Victorian architecture and the witch kidnapping little girls.

Isn't it the coolest small town ever?

FINAL NOTE:

Clearly, I just did this for fun, but if it is helpful for some of you, that's great!

Doing this also made me think about some headcanons, and I'm gonna be analysing them for the next three business days.

[cordelia-noir]

I have a DBDA prompt for you, if you're interested! I realized earlier today that in episode 5, when Crystal says something like "All three of us lost our lives to boys who went too far, that's a really shitty thing to have in common," she isn't referring to the boys, but to Maren and Shelby! She doesn't actually know the specifics of how the boys died! So my prompt is: what if Charles or Edwin had replied with something like "That makes the five of us, actually," leading into briefly sharing exactly how they died. ✨Trauma Bonding✨

This is definitely more of a gen prompt, but I thought I'd share anyway, in case it peaked your interest 😆 no worries either way, and happy writing!! Hope you feel better soon :D

I’m not sure if I agree with that reading of the scene. In context, I do think that Crystal is referring to her and boys, but the angst! I love this idea for a fic, so here we go!

Read on AO3

“All three of us lost our lives to boys who went too far, that's a really shitty thing to have in common,” Crystal said, glancing back at the police station where Maren had just confessed to her crimes. 

Edwin looked away and swallowed, though by all reasonable metrics he shouldn't need to. 

“I suppose that the same could be said of Maren and Shelby as well,” he said, still looking away, across the street and into the trees. “Though I agree that it is not a club in which I would like to see new members.”

Crystal shook her head.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked, looking between the two boys. “I was talking about Maren and Shelby, who are you talking about?”

Charles gave a short little laugh, though it didn’t sound even as joyful as his usual, self-deprecating laughs. 

“Well, I guess that’s all five of us, huh?” Charles said, clapping Edwin on the back. Edwin didn’t react at all, just kept staring into the distance. 

Crystal opened her mouth, then closed it again, struggling to find the right words. When words did finally come out, she was pretty sure that they were still the wrong ones. 

“Wait, how the fuck did you two die?”

Charles looked surprised. 

“Well I died of internal bleeding and hypothermia and Edwin got summoned to hell on a technicality, you know that.”

“Yeah, but neither of those things involve assholes who went too far,” Crystal said, willing it to be true.

Edwin huffed a laugh and turned to start walking toward The Tongue and Tail. Charles and Crystal followed mutely.

“Five boys from my school summoned a demon to “scare me”,” Edwin said, raising his gloved hands to do some frankly unnecessary air quotes, “While they tied me to a table and called me things I’d rather not repeat.”

“Jesus,” Crystal breathed.

“Though I suppose it’s different,” Ediwn continued, undeterred, “since they were also taken to hell, they ruined their own lives as well.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Crystal said when it was clear that Edwin was done speaking for the moment. “But what happened to you, Charles?”

“Some other boys beat me up and chased me into a lake,” Charles said with a shrug.

“In February,” Edwin added, “After saving another boy from a similar fate.”

“Shit,” Crystal said softly. “No wonder you had such little patience for my drama with David.”

That got Edwin to stop walking and do a dramatic turn back to face her. 

“I have dealt with many demons, Crystal,” Edwin said earnestly, “And while David is not particularly powerful, he is remarkably tenacious, even for his kind. I… regret being so dismissive of his actions toward you. I fear that my experiences have made me somewhat numb to the difficulties and I failed to take into consideration what it must be like to be going through it all for the first time.”

Charles moved closer to Edwin so that their shoulders bumped against one another. Crystal wondered vaguely if this was the compromise they’d come to over the years considering Edwin’s general aversion to hugs.

“Well,” she said, stepping up to Edwin’s other side and using her shoulder to bump his arm the same way Charles had. “It’s still a really shitty thing for us all to have in common.”

“Quite,” Edwin agreed. “Well I think that’s quite enough emotion for one day. I am unaccustomed to it. Shall we continue with our work then?”

[regretsofaghost]

Day 31- My love for you is true, I swear it is, it just will kill you in the end

AO3 link to chapter 31- here Tumblr link to chapter 30- here This is the final chapter :)

Thank you for reading and sticking around.

Word count- 1700

It was pure luck, that Edwin had managed to get rid of the Batibat. He was unsure if biting one’s thumb would simply ward it off, but further investigation had proven that it was gone entirely from the Albertson estate.

Charles had looked most displeased though, finding out that it was a necessary wound, unlike the other one on his hand.

Soft, angry, eyes looked up at Edwin occasionally, as Charles applied a salve and wrapped bandages around his hand.

Edwin stayed silent, for there were too many secrets uncovered, too many hurts exposed, to allow himself to brush off Charles’ warranted care.

Still, that meant they simply had to deal with the wraith.

Neither solved the case though, not really.

What had killed the Albertson siblings?

Elenor and Steven were killed by the Batibat. Suffocated in their sleep.

They might have survived, if it were not for that creature.

“I do not know if the wraith caused the parents’ deaths, but we should not rule it out,” Edwin said, the sunlight shining in his eyes as he walked beside Charles, a hand on the other’s offered elbow to help with the dizziness. “Though, neither the parents nor the children seem interested in having their death’s solved, more focused on the missing siblings and the rings. Getting a reading on the treehouse will give us better answers, and wraiths do not like the light. We should be perfectly safe in the daylight, and if not, then we simply think of happy thoughts and vacate the area.”

“Are you sure you should be out, Edwin? You really don’t look good,” Crystal asked, eyes flickering from Edwin’s face down to his hand on Charles’ arm.

“No more of that potion.”

“Charles, I have it perfectly under control.”

“Say that again.”

Edwin was forced to look at his mutilated hand.

“I-“

“No. More.”

“I’m perfectly fine.” Edwin shook his head slightly, “Just aftereffects of the potion. The sooner we get answers for the family, the better. They have waited long enough.”

He could feel both their eyes on him, Charles and Crystal.

They were not exactly trying to hide it.

It made him feel.

Some way.

Edwin did not know what though.

Charles stayed silent.

His polo was a burgundy colour.

“Just, be careful. After last night, we don’t know what to expect,” Charles said once they arrived at the treehouse, “You got the picture?”

A family, five children, two parents, smiling in front of their forever home.

“Yeah, just, keep an eye out.”

Crystal touched the tree, her head falling back, eyes turning white.

“You think-“

“I do believe.”

“Just need confirmation?”

“Yes.”

It was not long before Crystal’s eyes came back to normal, after some muttering as her powers showed her what happened to Theodora.

“I-“ Crystal wiped at her eyes, tears falling faster than she could wipe them away. “She’s, the rings- We need those rings-“

“Elenor was so kind as to let me keep them for safe keeping,” Edwin held out a hand with the three rings, “am I correct to say the three children are stuck in them?”

“Yes- The mom, she was a witch, she must’ve, cast a spell, in case her kids were ever in danger-“

“An inexperienced witch, I must say.” Edwin sighed.

“She must’ve cast the spell to save them if they were ever close to death, but, messed up the timing?” Charles carefully took a ring from Edwin, “I’m guessing the dad thought destroying the rings would free the kids?”

“Probable. The wraith must have gotten ahold of each of the kids, and with-“

“Both parents keeping mum about the supernatural, they didn’t stand a chance.”

“No, and with it being nighttime, and their young ages, they were easy pickings for a hungry wraith.”

“Think the Batibat had something to do with it?”

“It certainly did not help, with the atmosphere in the house being so hostile from its and the wraith’s presence, the family must have been fragile.”

“Why didn’t the dad tell us-“

“He didn’t realize the other two had been-“

“Yes, you said Elenor hid them till we showed up-“

“Alright, so how do we free them?” Crystal interrupted.

“The rings are essentially a cage, a container for their souls to stay in and conceal their presence,” Edwin said, “A clever design if it worked, to keep the children safe. As I do not have enough magic currently to free them, we will have to do it the manual way, Charles.”

“Already on it,” Charles began to pull out small bags from his backpack, hand digging deep inside.

“What does that mean?” Crystal asked, looking at Edwin.

“It means I get to mix up some chemicals and wave a wand-“ Charles grinned.

“Magical combustion will melt the ring’s metal, freeing the soul, which is the gem. That might have been why they were in the fireplace to begin with, most grimoires call for the destruction of the rings to free the souls. Often it is a poor translation, if the parents were successful, it is more likely they would have accidentally destroyed the soul as well.”

“And the wand-“ Charles held up a pair of blacksmith tongs, “Handy to have around, no iron in them, but long enough if we have to deal with iron. Or magical fire.”

“Of course.”

They made short work of it, and soon, the rings were little more than metal in a small crucible, the small gemstones placed safely in the grass, away from the fire.

“Just-“

A-F-E-D-E-D

A-F-E-D-E-D

F-E-D-B-F-F

Edwin swayed, as the magic left his outstretched hand and coated the gems in a soft blue light.

“Eds…” Charles’ voice quieted when three children, ranging from about 7-12, came sprawling out on the grass in front of them.

Edwin stepped forward, offering a hand to the who looked to be the eldest, while Charles and Crystal helped up the other two. “Shirley, I am to presume?”

“Yes, I… Why are we in front of the treehouse?”

“It is quite a long story I am afraid, but there are some people who have been waiting a long time to see you again…”

Charles stayed close to him, as they explained what happened to Elenor and Steven, after a tearful reunion amongst the siblings. Charles practically had to drag Edwin out of the house when Death came, weakened as he was by using magic without any energy to spare.

“Bloody reckless you are.” Charles grumbled, practically carrying Edwin back to the office after the job had officially been jobbed.

“It was the only way, you know this-“

“Doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it, mate.” Charles lowered Edwin down onto the couch with more care than his words would imply.

“I am sorry, for worrying you.” Edwin said softly, “But it was the only way to properly free them.”

“I know, I know…” Charles sighed. “Still, could’ve waited a day. Till you got your strength up again.”

“There is little point on having our clients wait another day when we could do something sooner.”

“Do you need to, I don’t know. Become an orb for a bit? You look properly knackered mate.”

Edwin looked down at his hand, “I suppose it would not hurt.”

“I’ll take care of you, I always do.”

“I know.”

Warmth, comfort, constant contact.

Muffled voices, none that Edwin could understand, not really.

They sounded gentle though, with care infused in every word.

“You’re properly missable mate, don’t stay gone too long.”

Edwin was reading his book when Charles came to sit on the side of the desk. He put the book down, already knowing what was coming.

“We don’t have to talk about it ‘Win, if you really don’t want to. But, I think it would be nice. To visit.”

“I do not wish to impose.”

“Can’t impose if no one can see us, and besides. Ghosts in a graveyard? What better place to be spotted?”

“We will be rather out of place, in Japan.”

“Hey, we can finally test out all those anti-ghosts wards they have, see if we can get past them. Go see Niko, then go sightseeing. We haven’t been in a while.”

“I suppose you are right.”

“… It’ll also just be the two of us. I know Crystal wants to visit, but with school. I think it’d be better, if we just went. Less logistics.”

A flutter went through Edwin’s heart.

“A day visit wouldn’t hurt.”

Charles held out a hand, and Edwin took it.

“I, already kinda figured out the closest mirror. Thought it’d be best, to make it as easy as possible.”

It felt like no time at all, before they were standing in front of a gravemarker with Niko’s name on it.

She had been cremated, as per her family’s wishes, no bones in the earth below them, but simply dirt and ashes.

It felt like too little, for the impact she had on all of them.

“Do you think she would appreciate if we had a small shrine for her, in the office?”

“To pay our respects?”

“And to remember her.”

“I think it would be brills, mate.”

“I’ll have to research it more, but it would be nice. We should ask Crystal if she can find a nice photograph on her internet of Niko.”

“Some sea glass too, she really liked the ones we found on the beach in Port Townsend.”

“Were you able to find that small bear token Tragic Mick gave her? We could place that on the shrine as well.”

“Can’t say I have. Been looking everywhere.”

They stood in silence, the graves around them proud and well taken care of.

Edwin did not have a grave, even if his parents’ had put him to rest, the grave would have probably been destroyed in the Blitz anyway.

Still, it must have been nice, to know that somewhere in this world, your body was laid to rest, away from prying eyes, away from harm.

"Charles?"

"Yeah mate?"

"Do you ever want-"

"Nah, I don't need to see it."

"Are you sure?"

Charles reached out and took Edwin’s hand into his own.

"Yeah. Got everything I need already, don't I?"

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Episode 5- The Case of the Two Dead Dragons

Episode Overview:

50 total, 14 different words said by 12 characters.

Charles: 2 Shit, 1 Bloody, 1 Bloody Hell, 3 God, 1 Prick, 1 Knob, 1 Tosser

Crystal: 1 Fuck, 4 Shit, 4 God, 1 Pussy, 1 Dick, 2 Screw

Jenny: 2 Fuck, 1 Ass

David: 1 Fuck

Niko: 2 God

Litty: 1 Ass, 2 God

Kingham: 1 Bitch

Maxine: 2 God

Brad: 2 Fuck

Hunter: 1 Fuck, 1 Shit, 1 Bitch, 1 Hell

Maren: 5 God

Twitchy Ritchie: 1 Fuck, 2 Shit, 1 Dick

Swears Per Character:

Charles: 10

Crystal: 13

Jenny: 3

David: 1

Niko: 2

Litty: 3

Kingham: 1

Maxine: 2

Brad: 2

Hunter: 4

Maren: 5

Twitchy Ritchie: 4

Uses Per Word:

Fuck: 8

Shit: 9

Bitch: 3

Ass: 2

Hell: 1

Bloody: 1

Bloody Hell: 1

God: 17

Pussy: 1

Dick: 2

Prick: 1

Knob: 1

Tosser: 1

Screw: 2

Lines:

Charles: I'm also bloody angry.

Crystal: Holy shit!

Hunter: Cops say it was alcohol poisoning at this party, but that's BS.

Niko: OMG it's…

Charles: With that prick demon and her missing memories, she isn't keen on starting anything.

Litty: Oh my god.

Litty: Is it the mystery of smelling like a grotty-ass fish?

Kingham: Little salmon-breath bitch.

Litty: Oh my god!

Crystal: Oh god. Cash and condoms. Thanks.

Maren: Brad was my boyfriend. God, I miss him so much.

Maren: God, I shouldn't have left.

Crystal: Oh, no it's porn, it's all just porn. Oh my god.

Twitchy Ritchie: They were dicks who treated people like shit.

Charles: Oh, bloody hell.

Crystal: Deep down, guys that make gay jokes are always the biggest pussies.

Twitchy Ritchie: The fuck is this?

Twitchy Ritchie: She got aggressive, making threats and shit.

Jenny: Oh my fuck.

Hunter: What the hell?

Crystal: Because all nice guys give their girlfriends date rape drugs to screw with their future.

Crystal: You walk around acting like the sun always shines, and then you lost your shit while beating the Night Nurse. Edwin and I are walking on eggshells around you instead of just saying 'what the actual fuck?'

Jenny: It wasn't my finest moment, but the guys at the fish market can be real assholes.

Maren: He was always bitching that Brad got him hooked on Adderall.

Maren: And oh God, they, they… ugh, they humiliated him any chance they got

Maren: Oh god I… I almost did it to you.

Crystal: I am really not sorry the world is short two toxic dickheads.

Charles: I've got some heavy shit that I need to sort out. I get it. Just… God, I really wanted them to be good guys

Crystal: Well I guess all three of us lost our lives to boys who went too far. It's a really shitty thing to have in common.

Maxine: God, I've always done this.

Maxine: I mean, I have to use my imagination to fill in the rest. Like… like what your pillow smells like. Oh god, I can't wait to smell it for myself.

Jenny: What the fuck, Maxine?

Crystal: Hey Jenny? Hey, what's with the fl- Holy shit.

Niko: What's happening? Oh. Oh my god.

Charles: You tossers really hurt some people. You were cruel just for the shits.

Hunter: Oh, fuck that, you whiny little bitch.

Brad: It's a fucking tragedy that we died, okay?

Charles: God, you knobs really don't get it.

Brad: What the fuck does that mean?

Charles: Oh god, I'm worried that maybe I'm like Brad and Hunter.

Crystal: No boy is screwing my life up.

David: I'm a demon! And I always get what I fucking want!

Crystal: I can't keep him out of my head. God, he just keeps coming, I don't… I don't know how to stop him. God, what if I can't?

Notes:

Charles’ “I’m also bloody angry” at the start of the episode is the same clip from the fight with the Night Nurse, remembered as part of Crystal’s nightmare.

Jenny almost has another one- it looks and sounds to me like she was going to say ‘bullshit’ at the end of her “I will take my wine and murder documentaries over this bu-“ but was interrupted by Maxine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[fire-bear]

First & Last Lines

So, I was tagged in this wee game on the 10th of December by @evenfallreads, but I was attempting to keep up with writing a story a day, so I decided to put it off until I'd finished.

But that does mean that my last ten stories are actually these short stories. So, I'm putting this under a read more so I can actually do two lists - one for my most recent postings, and one for the ten most recent that weren't part of the Christmas prompt stuff.

Brief warning! Most of the stories in the first list are so short that the last line is a massive SPOILER, so read at your own risk. Or, I guess, if you've already read them.

Also, I'm meant to tag a bunch of people to spread the game, but I can't be bothered figuring out who I should tag. Besides, it's Christmas Day, and I've mostly only got my laptop on for the Christmas music. (I just wanted to finish this off since I started this last night before I stopped to watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show - apparently that and Beetlejuice are Christmassy enough to be shown on Christmas Eve?

First off, the prompts:

Experience First: The party was fun, so far. Sure, Neil didn’t go to many Christmas Eve Eve parties, but he was smiling more than he wasn’t. Last: Neil laughed and pulled Andrew into the bathroom with him.

Lodge First: Neil had never gone on a school trip before and was very excited to be going on Palmetto High’s Christmas ski trip. Last: Andrew tried to leave, but Neil used his grip on Andrew’s hand to pull him into another kiss.

Shopping First: “So,” said Dan as she sat beside Neil in the staff room. “Have you sorted all your Christmas presents yet?” Last: As Andrew slid down to his knees, Neil idly wondered just how much wrapping paper he would need to cover himself for Christmas.

Ornaments First: Neil had been given a room all to himself when he started his Junior year at Palmetto Academy. Last: Neil was glad he hadn’t tried to decorate on his own; he would have missed out on this joy if he had.

Attitude First: Before she got pregnant, Mary Wesninski, née Hatford, had been a ballet dancer. Last: It was only when he was halfway there that he realised that his fists were still clenched and he was still holding onto the ballet studio’s key.

Quiet First: Edwin strode to the chair behind the desk, taking his jacket off as he went. Last: They passed an hour or two like that and Edwin was sure it was the best Christmas he’d ever had.

Whitechapel First: Andrew struck a match against his boot before holding it to the end of his cigarette. Last: It would be the last time Andrew would see Neil for the rest of 1888.

Family First: Aaron was stressed. When he and Katelyn had sat down to plan their Christmas out, the lists hadn’t seemed so long. Last: Neil laughed, and Andrew had a certain glint in his eye, but Aaron was the most relaxed he’d been since the start of the holiday as he closed the door behind them.

Party First: “What is happening?!” Crystal snapped. Last: And, as happened so often in their cases, all three of them began to run, dodging around partying people as they went.

Crash First: Charles wasn’t sure he should have been surprised when his friends all turned on him. Last: Even if he did feel a little woozy, the AoG was probably after him and Edwin, and the cold world they were on was going to do its best to kill them both before they could leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then the other stories:

Of Christmas Present First: They had been circling each other for months. Last: This was his Christmas present and he was going to enjoy it for as long as he could.

The Butcher's House (chapter 11) First (from chapter 1): Ever since the sale had gone through, Andrew had felt like something was off. Last (from chapter 11): Without a word, Neil turned and left. He didn’t flicker or fade once.

The Pretty Things That Greet My Eyes (there's only one chapter up so far) First: Damianos of Akielos was in the middle of something when he received the summons from his father. Last: The night was bittersweet, but Damen made sure that both of them enjoyed the taste.

Freedom From Libertia (chapter 4) First (from chapter 1): As a prince, Alfred was used to getting his own way. Last (from chapter 4): A crack appeared on the outside of the tube and Alfred stared, frozen, unable to move in the face of Francis’s fury.

Rooftop (part of the AFTG Bingo that I got a couple of lines for) First: The book from the library was very informative, Andrew found. Last: Orion’s Belt was the last thing he saw as he let the roof’s door swing closed behind him.

Keys (also part of the AFTG Bingo, chapter 2 - it's a second part in the same universe but which doesn't follow on directly from the first chapter) First (chapter 1): Neil trudged into the town and wondered where he could stay for the night. Last (chapter 2): Neil closed his eyes and thought of Andrew as he was dragged from the garden.

Things That Aren't Acceptable in Light (chapter 4) First (chapter 1): “Damianos.”  “Yes, Father?” “Do you remember your training?” Last (chapter 4): With that ominous declaration, Laurent took his leave and Damen slumped back onto the bed, closing his eyes in defeat.

A Thousand Dollars For a Kiss (another AFTG Bingo story) First: There was a vague, blurry memory that Nathaniel had that he had never been sure was real. Last: Neil smiled again, secure in the knowledge that he would be well rested in the morning, safe with Andrew so close.

Let's Go Hand In Hand (another AFTG Bingo story) First: Abram was five years old when his father started to hurt him. Last: Somehow, he found himself wanting to see more of it.

Not Just a Little Dead (chapter 4) First (chapter 1): It was Senior year. So Nicky kept telling him, at least. Last (chapter 4): He would let Nicky off the hook - but Neil was going to tell him everything when Andrew next saw him.