#i great find from my gif-making adventures

[wing-ed-thing]

From puppy to gremlin in .2 seconds

[newobsessionweekly]

Rays of hope

Main masterlist | The Rookie masterlist

Tim Bradford x wife!reader

Fandom: The Rookie

Summary: Your son is kidnapped and you and your husband, Tim, do everything you can to get him back.

ANGST | Hurt to comfort

Requested: Yes - here

Warnings: Kidnapping, kid being held hostage, description of being shot, injuries, losing consciousness.

A/N: I LOVE WRITING ANGST. I've worked so hard on this one and I absolutely love how it turned out. I won't say anything else, I'll let you enjoy it. I have so many ideas and I seriously make it a full time job writing everything.

Words: 6.1k

GIF not mine, credits to the owner.

As the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, the Bradford household stirred with the promise of a new day. The aroma of brewing coffee mingled with the gentle sounds of morning chatter as you and Tim bustled around the kitchen, preparing for the day ahead.

Evan, your bright-eyed three-year-old, bounced around the room with infectious energy, his laughter filling the air. Tim knelt down, scooping his son up into his strong arms, showering him with tickles and kisses.

"Hey there, little man," he chuckled, his voice infused with affection. "What adventures are you up today?"

Evan giggled gleefully, wrapping his tiny arms around his father's neck. His response was a jumble of words, excitement evident despite his struggles with forming coherent sentences. "Catch the bad guys like mommy and daddy!"

Tim chuckled, planting a gentle kiss on Evan's cheek. "That's right, buddy. Just like Mommy and Daddy" he said, his voice gentle as he tousled Evan's hair affectionately. "But first, how about some superhero breakfast?"

Tim's presence seemed to illuminate the room even more. He approached you with a tender smile, his eyes reflecting the depth of his love as he enveloped you in his embrace. His arms wrapped around you securely, a comforting shield against any worries or doubts.

"Morning, baby," his voice, like a soothing melody, whispered into your ear, sending shivers of warmth down your spine. "How are my two favorite girls this morning?"

In that moment, as his hand brushed over your bump with such tender care, you felt an overwhelming rush of love and gratitude for the man standing before you. Tim's gaze lingered on you, his eyes filled with an unspoken promise of unwavering support and devotion.

"We're doing great," you replied, leaning into his embrace, savoring the feeling of being held so close.

Tim pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, his lips lingering there for a moment as if to convey all the love he felt. "You look absolutely radiant," he murmured, his voice filled with awe and admiration. "I swear, every day you glow even more."

As Tim settled Evan into his chair, you couldn't help but admire the sight before you. Tim embodied strength and tenderness in equal measure. Dressed casually, his rugged charm shone through effortlessly. With every movement, his love for you and your son was evident, his hands deftly helped Evan eat breakfast while his eyes sparkled with warmth. Watching him with Evan, you couldn't help but feel a wave of adoration for the man who filled your home with love and security.

"Uh-oh. We have a problem," you announced, your voice tinged with concern as you glanced down at your phone. "Nanny just texted me. She can't make it today."

Tim's brow furrowed slightly as he considered the situation, his mind already working on a solution. "What about your mom?" he suggested. "Can't she babysit Evan today?"

You shook your head regretfully, a sigh escaping your lips. "I don't think so. She's outside LA now," you explained, your thoughts racing to find an alternative. "Maybe your sister?"

At the mention of Genny, Tim's expression darkened slightly, "No, custody battle today," he murmured, his voice tinged with a hint of worry. "We'll figure something out, baby. Don't worry."

As you and Tim exchanged worried glances, Evan piped up from his seat, his innocent voice breaking the tension in the room. "Mommy, Daddy, no worry," he declared, his eyes wide with determination. "Evan help!"

You stepped into the familiar hustle and bustle of the station and Evan's eyes widened in wonder at the sight of officers in their crisp uniforms bustling about their duties. With a gleeful tug on Tim's hand, he eagerly dashed around, taking in every detail with unbridled enthusiasm.

"Daddy, look! Cops!" Evan exclaimed, his words a jumble of excitement as he pointed at the officers. "Lots and lots!"

Tim chuckled softly, his heart swelling with pride at his son's eagerness. "That's right, buddy," he affirmed, his voice warm with affection. "This is where mommy and daddy work, with all their friends."

Your son darted around, his boundless energy matched only by his excitement, he greeted each familiar face with enthusiasm, his words a mixture of gibberish and genuine attempts at conversation.

"Hi, Lulu!" Evan exclaimed, flashing Lucy a toothy grin as he reached up to give her a high-five.

Lucy laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. "Hi there, little buddy! If it isn't our favourite visitor!" she replied, returning the high-five with a gentle pat on the head. "You've grown so much since the last time we saw you!"

Evan beamed at the attention, his chest swelling with pride. "I big boy!" he declared proudly, his words punctuated by a triumphant grin.

Next, Evan turned his attention to Angela, his eyes alight with recognition. "Hi, Auntie Angie!" he chirped, reaching out to tug on her sleeve.

Angela's heart melted at the endearing nickname, her smile softening as she crouched down to Evan's level. "Hey, champ," she said, ruffling his hair affectionately. "He's the spitting image of his mother." she said to Lucy, shooting you a playful wink.

Evan beamed at the praise, his chest puffing out with pride. "I grow big like Daddy!" he declared, his words filled with confidence.

Nyla and Nolan watched the exchange with fond amusement, their own smiles widening as Evan made his rounds. You watched your son with amusement, glad he's terrorising your friends and gave you and your husband a moment to catch your breath.

"Don't forget Nyla and John." Evan eagerly nodded at your words, making his way to Nyla first.

She joined in, her face breaking into a wide smile as she crouched down to Evan's level. "Hey there, buddy! You remember my name?" she extended her hand for a handshake.

Evan shook her hand vigorously, his eyes shining with excitement. "You Nyla! I Evan, I help mommy and daddy catch bad guys!" he announced proudly, his words punctuated by a giggle.

Nolan chuckled, ruffling Evan's hair affectionately. "Looks like you've got quite the little helper there, Tim," he remarked, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Evan saw the opportunity for more attention and he grabbed Nolan's pants, "John, look!" he exclaimed, pointing at something only he could see.

Nolan chuckled, crouching down to Evan's level. "What am I looking at, buddy?" he asked with a grin.

Evan giggled mischievously, his eyes dancing with mischief. "You funny!" he declared, wrapping his tiny arms around the officer's neck in a spontaneous hug.

Then, in a burst of excitement, Evan's face lit up with a newfound revelation. "I meet baby sister soon!" he announced, his words tumbling out in a rush.

The officers exchanged surprised glances, their expressions shifting from amusement to shock at the unexpected news. "Baby sister?" Angela echoed, her voice tinged with disbelief. "Congratulations!"

Nolan grinned, clapping Tim on the back in hearty congratulations. "Well, Bradford. Looks like you're in for double trouble," he teased, his tone affectionate yet teasing.

Amidst the chorus of well wishes and congratulations, both you and Tim couldn't help but feel a swell of gratitude for the supportive community they had found within the station.

"So, what's the little guy doing here?" Angela inquired, her brow furrowed in concern.

Tim sighed, running a hand through his hair as he explained the morning's events. "Well, nanny bailed on us last minute," he admitted, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "We didn't have enough time to find someone else to watch him."

Nyla nodded understandingly, her expression sympathetic. "I can call James," she offered, already reaching for her phone. "He can take Evan with him for the day."

Meanwhile, Lucy's eyes lit up with an idea. "And Tamara's here for a school project," she added eagerly, gesturing towards the young woman across the room. "She can watch Evan in the meantime."

Tim's shoulders visibly relaxed at the offers of help, gratitude flooding his heart. "Thank you, both of you," he said sincerely, his voice filled with relief.

You felt a wave of gratitude wash over you, touched by the kindness and support of your colleagues. Despite the unexpected hiccup in their morning routine, you couldn't help but feel reassured knowing that you had such caring friends to rely on.

As Evan bounced around the room, his excitement palpable, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of your son surrounded by so much love and warmth.

Tamara returned from the restroom and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of the empty break room. Evan's toys lay abandoned on the table, but there was no sign of the energetic three-year-old. She left only for a moment, assigning Smitty to keep an eye on Evan but she couldn't find any of them.

"Evan?" she called out, her voice tinged with concern as she scanned the room frantically. "Where are you?"

Panic began to bubble up inside her as she rushed out into the hallway, calling out for Evan at the top of her lungs. "Evan!" she shouted, her voice echoing off the walls of the station. "Come on, kid! This isn't funny. We didn't agree to play hide and seek!"

Her heart pounded in her chest as she raced through the corridors, her eyes darting from room to room in search of any sign of the missing child. The fear gnawed at her insides, threatening to overwhelm her with its intensity.

"Y/N's gonna kill me," she murmured under her breath, her mind racing with worst-case scenarios. She couldn't bear the thought of facing you and Tim with the news that your son was missing on her watch.

With each passing moment, the weight of responsibility pressed down on her shoulders, driving her to search even more desperately for Evan. She prayed with all her might that he was safe and sound, waiting to be found somewhere within the station.

Tamara's heart raced as she rushed to Angela's desk, her hands trembling with fear. Her eyes widened at the sight of Tamara's panicked expression, immediately sensing that something was terribly wrong.

"What happened?" Angela asked, her voice filled with concern as she reached out to steady Tamara.

"It's Evan," Tamara blurted out, her words tumbling out in a rush. "I don't know what happened. He—uh, he's not in the break room. I can't find him."

Panic surged through Tamara's veins, threatening to overwhelm her as she struggled to catch her breath. She couldn't shake the feeling of dread that gripped her heart, knowing that Evan was missing and she was responsible for his safety.

Angela's eyes widened in alarm as she grasped the gravity of the situation. "Okay, okay, let's stay calm," she reassured, though her own heart raced with fear. "Let's go to talk to Grey."

Together, they hurried to Sergeant Grey's office, their steps quickening with each passing moment. Angela explained the situation to the sergeant, her voice urgent as she described Evan's disappearance. He wasted no time in springing into action, dispatching officers to search the station up and down and the surrounding area for any sign of Evan.

Returning to Angela's desk, they accessed the security cameras from the station, their hands shaking as they scrolled through the footage. With bated breath, they watched as a figure dressed in black approached Evan in the break room, his face obscured from view.

As they watched in horror, the figure took Evan's hand and led him out of the station through the front door, disappearing into the bustling city beyond.

Angela's stomach churned with dread as she exchanged a horrified glance with Tamara. "We have to find him," she said, her voice trembling with urgency.

You and your rookie arrived as backup for Tim and the day seemed like any other—filled with the usual hustle and bustle of police work and the consuming thoughts about your son now more than ever. It wasn't about that you didn't trust Tamara or James, it was more the fact that your son was in a not so familiar place.

When Sergeant Grey's voice cut through the radio, your maternal instincts kicked in, suddenly feeling something was not right.

"7-Adam-19, 7-Adam-100, please return to the station," he commanded, his voice terse and filled with an unspoken sense of dread.

Immediately, you and your husband exchanged a look of concern, your hearts pounding in your chests as you hastily wrapped up the call. Questions swirled in your minds, but you could sense the urgency in Wade's voice, driving you to act without hesitation.

Rushing towards the station, your thoughts were racing with a million terrifying possibilities. The atmosphere was charged with tension, officers scurrying about with grim expressions etched upon their faces. You and Tim shared a look of mutual fear, your hearts pounding in your chests as you braced yourselves for the worst.

"What happened? Where's Evan?" your voice trembled with fear as you approached Sergeant Grey, your eyes searching desperately for any sign of reassurance.

Grey's expression was grave as he met your gaze, his own eyes filled with sorrow and sympathy. "Please sit down," he urged gently.

But Tim couldn't bring himself to comply, his chest tight with anxiety and dread. "Don't do that," he interjected. "Just tell us what happened."

Sergeant Grey sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping under the weight of the news he had to deliver. "Fine," he relented. "Evan's been kidnapped. We're waiting for the security footage of all cameras around the station, but Detective Lopez might have a lead."

The words hit you and Tim like a sledgehammer, leaving you reeling with disbelief and anguish. Your sweet, innocent son had been taken from you, and you both were powerless.

The weight of the situation settles over you like a suffocating blanket, "Thompson" the name escapes your lips in a whisper, heavy with the burden of past encounters with the man.

Memories flood your mind—the chilling threats, the sinister promises of retribution, the menacing glint in his eyes as he swore vengeance upon you and your loved ones.

Tim's expression darkens with a mix of anger and concern, his mind racing as he processes the implications of Thompson's involvement. "I didn't know he got out," he admits, his voice tight with frustration and worry.

Your eyes fill with tears, heart aching with the unbearable fear of the unknown as you grasp your husband's hand tightly. "We gotta find him, Tim. We need to find Evan," you plead, voice trembling with desperation.

Tim's jaw clenches with resolve as he pulls you into a tight embrace, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the storm of emotions raging within you. "We will, baby," he vows, his voice a steady reassurance in the face of uncertainty.

He holds you even tighter, his touch a silent reassurance amidst the chaos that surrounds you. With gentle strokes of his hand along your back, he tries to soothe the trembling of your body, his touch conveying more comfort than words ever could.

A wave of despair washed over you both as you sank into nearby chairs, minds racing with a whirlwind of emotions. In that moment, your world shattered into a million jagged pieces, leaving behind only a gaping void where your son's laughter once filled the air. Both of you were consumed by a sense of helplessness and grief, your hearts heavy with the unbearable weight of uncertainty.

Tim feels your trembling body in his arms, he knows that mere words can never be enough to ease the crushing weight of your fear. With gentle fingers, he brushes away the tears that stain your cheeks, his touch tender and comforting. Each stroke is a promise—a promise that he will do everything in his power to bring your son home safe and sound.

In the depths of his heart, Tim feels a surge of pain and helplessness, knowing that you, his wife, are bearing the weight of your son's disappearance with every fiber of your being. His own worries and fears are pushed aside as he focuses solely on providing comfort and strength to the one he loves most in the world.

Tamara rushes to your side, her usually composed attitude shattered by panic and guilt. Her face is pale, her hands shaking as she struggles to find the words to express her guilt.

"Y/N, Tim... I'm so sorry," she stammers, her voice quivering with emotion. "I was only gone for a minute, I left Smitty with him. I... I don't know what happened. When I got back, he—uh, he was gone. I'm so sorry."

Your heart breaks for Tamara, knowing the weight of guilt she must be carrying on her shoulders. Despite your own anguish, you reach out to embrace her, offering comfort and solace in the midst of the chaos.

"It's not your fault, Tamara," you reassure her, voice filled with compassion and understanding. "It's okay. We'll find him."

The tension in the room reaches a fever pitch, Angela breaks the heavy silence with a sense of urgency in her voice. "Guys, I think I've found something," she announces, her eyes darting between Tim and you.

Tim's heart leaps with hope as he strides over to Angela's desk, you close behind. "Show us," Tim demanded, his voice tight with barely contained emotion.

Angela quickly pulled up several surveillance footage clips on her computer screen, the images grainy but unmistakable. "Look here," she pointed, her finger tracing the path of a rusty van leaving the surroundings of the station.

Tim's jaw tightened with determination as he surveyed the footage, his mind already racing with plans and strategies to track down the van and bring Evan home. "It's worth a shot," he declared.

Your heart swelled with gratitude and relief, eyes shining with tears as you leaned in closer to the screen. "We have to go after it," you insisted, voice trembling with desperation and determination.

Tim nodded in agreement, his resolve unwavering. "Alright. Let's get airship support and all the surveillance footage we can find. We need to know every move that van makes," he commanded, already reaching for his radio to issue the orders.

Before you could finalize the plans, Tim's hand shot out to stop you in your tracks, his expression wrought with concern. "You should stay behind," he insisted, his voice soft but firm, his eyes pleading for you to consider your safety.

Your heart sank at the thought of being left behind, your fear for Evan overwhelming any sense of self-preservation. "Not a chance," you declared, your voice trembling with determination. "I'm coming with you. We need all the help we can get."

Tim's gaze softened as he looked into the your eyes, his heart swelling with love and admiration, "Y/N, please. I need to know you're safe. I need you and the baby girl safe," he confessed.

Your resolve only hardened at Tim's words, determination unyielding in the face of adversity. "And what about our boy? What about Evan? I need to find him," you insisted, voice filled with desperation.

In that moment, Tim knew that there was no arguing with your determination. With a heavy sigh, he relented, his heart heavy with worry but his resolve unshaken. "Alright," he murmured, pulling you into a tight embrace. "But promise me you'll stay close. I can't lose you too."

You nodded, your heart swelling with gratitude for Tim's understanding and support. "I promise," you vowed.

With a sense of urgency driving forward, you quickly arrived at the last location where the van was seen. The air crackled with tension as you surveyed the surroundings, the weight of the mission pressing down on you.

Tim's voice cut through the silence as he commanded the team to split up and patrol on foot, his words echoing with authority. "We need to cover every inch of this area," he instructed. "Lucy, Nolan, take east side. Nyla, Angela, cover west. We'll take north."

You nodded in silent agreement, eyes scanning the area for any sign of movement. With each step you took, your hearts hammered in your chests, minds racing with a thousand terrifying possibilities.

Together, you moved cautiously towards the building, the footsteps echoing in the eerie silence of the abandoned street. Tim's hand brushed against yours, a silent gesture of reassurance as you approached the looming structure.

Around the corner, you caught sight of the van parked haphazardly in the alleyway, its doors hanging open as if inviting you inside. Tim's grip tightened on his radio, the other one squeezing your hand even tighter, as he relayed your location, his voice steady and controlled despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

"7-Adam-19, we've located the van. Requesting immediate backup at the north entrance," he spoke into the radio, his words precise and urgent.

With bated breath, you entered the building, hearts pounding in your chests as you navigated through the dimly lit corridors hand in hand. Every creak of the floorboards, every flutter of movement in the shadows, sent shivers down your spines as you pressed forward, determination unwavering in the face of danger.

Your hearts stopped as you took in the sight before you— your precious son, bound and gagged, his eyes wide with fear, and the kidnapper, a sinister glint in his eyes as he held the gun to Evan's head.

Evan's small body trembling in fear as he stared up at both you and Tim with tear-filled eyes. The sight of him, helpless and vulnerable, struck a deep chord within you, igniting a firestorm of emotions that threatened to consume you whole.

The knots that bound Evan's wrists and ankles were tight and unforgiving, cutting into his delicate skin and leaving angry red marks in their wake. The sight of your son restrained like a prisoner sent a wave of nausea crashing over, your stomach churning with a mixture of anger and helplessness.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you took in the sight of your son, heart breaking with every whimper and cry that escaped his lips. It was a sight you had only imagined in your worst nightmares—a sight that would haunt you both for the rest of your days.

You attempted to approach Evan, heart pounding with desperation and fear as Thompson responded with a chilling gesture, taking off the safety of the gun and pressing it even more firmly against Evan's trembling head. You froze in your tracks as you watched in horror, helpless to do anything but stand by and pray for a miracle.

Tim maintained a facade of indifference and purpose despite the pain and anger that consumed both of you. His face was a mask of determination, his eyes burning with a fierce intensity as he faced down the kidnapper. Inside, however, his heart was a tornado of fear and worry, his mind racing with a million worst-case scenarios.

Your heart felt like it was being crushed in a vice grip, your breath catching in your throat as you struggled against the overwhelming urge to protect your child.

Evan's whimpering pierced through the tense silence, his small voice tinged with confusion and fear as he struggled to understand the gravity of the situation unfolding before him.

Tears streamed down your face as you reached out a trembling hand towards your son, desperate to comfort him, but Tim's firm grip on your arm stopped you in your tracks.

"We can't risk it," Tim whispered urgently as he pulled you back to his side, his eyes never leaving Evan.

Your heart felt like it was being torn apart as you watched Evan's innocent whimpering, your own fear for your son threatening to consume you whole.

"Please," Tim pleaded as he addressed Thompson, his hands held up in a gesture of surrender. "Let him go. We can talk about this. Just let him go."

But Thompson's face twisted with anger and resentment, his grip on the gun tightening as he protested vehemently. "You think I'm just gonna let you walk away after what you did to me?" he spat. "You think I'm just gonna let you go back to your perfect little life while I rot in prison?"

Your heart sank as Thompson's words echoed in your mind, "What do you want?" you asked, your heart breaking at the thought of what Thompson might demand. "I'll give you anything. I'll do anything, just please let him go."

His eyes narrowed with hatred as he glared at you, "I want you to suffer," he snarled, his words like daggers in the silence. "Just like I did."

You and Tim tried to talk Thompson down, your hearts pounded in your chests, every second feeling like an eternity as you desperately sought to keep the kidnapper occupied. With Lucy and Nolan slowly approaching from behind, you prayed that they would be able to disarm him before it was too late.

Nolan positioned himself strategically behind Evan, ready to act as a shield if needed, while Lucy positioned herself behind Thompson, her muscles tensed and prepared for action.

"You're making a mistake," Tim stated firmly, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with the kidnapper. "You don't want to do this. Let my son go, and we can figure this out."

Thompson's eyes narrowed, his grip on the gun tightening as he glared at Tim with undisguised hostility. "You think I'm just gonna let you walk away after what you did?" he growled.

Tim's jaw clenched with determination as he met his gaze head-on. "We made a mistake," he admitted, "But that doesn't mean you have to make things worse. Let's talk about this like rational adults."

The kidnapper's expression remained cold and unforgiving, his finger twitching on the trigger as he glared at Tim and you with a mixture of anger and resentment. "You ruined my life," he spat, his voice filled with bitterness. "Now it's time for you to pay."

Tim's heart sank as he watched Thompson's finger inch closer to the trigger, every fiber of his being screaming to protect Evan at all costs. "Listen to me," Tim urged, "This isn't the answer. Let Evan go, and we can work this through."

But Thompson's eyes burned with a fierce determination, his grip on the gun unyielding as he leveled it at Evan's head. "It's too late for that," he snarled, his voice filled with rage. "You took everything from me. Now it's time for you to suffer."

Your heart sank at his words, the weight of his hatred crushing you beneath its suffocating grip. "We're sorry," you whispered, "We didn't know..."

Thompson cut you off with a bitter laugh, his laughter echoing off the walls of the empty room. "You didn't know?" he scoffed, "You didn't know that because of you, my wife and daughter are dead?"

Tears stung your eyes as Thompson's words hit you like a punch to the gut, the guilt weighing heavy on your conscience. "We're sorry," you repeated, "We didn't mean for any of this to happen."

His expression remained cold and unforgiving, his gaze fixed on Evan with a mixture of rage and sorrow. "You think your apologies can bring them back?" he growled, his voice laced with bitterness. "You think your words mean anything to me?"

"Even if you take our son away, it won't bring your wife and daughter back," Tim interjected, his voice steady despite the tension in the air. "Don't make things worse for yourself. If you let him go, we won't say a word. You won't go back to prison."

His words hung heavy in the air, a plea for reason in the midst of chaos.

But Thompson's patience wore thin, his grip on the gun tightening as he grew increasingly agitated. His eyes gleamed with malice as he surveyed the scene before him, a twisted smirk playing on his lips.

"Maybe you're right," he sneered, his voice dripping with venom. "Maybe your little bastard isn't the solution. Your whore of a wife is. And pregnant with your daughter. She's perfect."

The words struck like a dagger to the heart, sending a wave of agony crashing over you. Tim's jaw clenched with barely contained fury, his hands curling into fists at his sides as he struggled to maintain his composure.

When the kidnapper's attention shifted towards you, pointing the gun in your direction with a menacing glare, it created a window of opportunity for Lucy and Nolan to intervene. In that harrowing moment, your heart skipped a beat as the barrel of the gun leveled towards you, but amidst the terror, a glimmer of hope flickered to life.

Lucy lunged forward, her eyes focused solely on disarming the kidnapper before he could harm Evan any further. She reached for the gun, her muscles tensing as she prepared to wrestle it from Thompson's grasp.

But in the chaos of the moment, his finger tightened on the trigger, the deafening sound of gunfire shattering the tense silence like a thunderclap. Your heart stopped as you watched in horror, a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins as the bullet struck its mark. Pain erupted through your body, but in the heat of the moment, the adrenaline dulled the sensation, allowing you to push through.

Every second felt like an eternity as you and Tim rushed to your son's side, the adrenaline coursing through your veins driving you forward. With trembling hands, you helped Nolan loosen the knots, your fingers fumbling in your haste to free Evan from his restraints.

As the last knot came undone, Evan let out a whimper, his tear-streaked face turning towards you and Tim with a look of desperation.

"Mommy!" he cried, his voice trembling.

Your heart shattered into a million pieces at the sound of Evan's voice, tears streaming down your face as you gathered him into your arms. "I'm here, baby," you murmured, your voice shaking with emotion. "Mommy and daddy are here. You're safe now."

Lucy pressed on, pinning the kidnapper to the ground and she swiftly secured him in handcuffs, effectively neutralizing the threat he posed.

Tim knelt down beside you and Evan, his movements were a blur of frantic yet tender gestures. With trembling hands, he pulled you both into his embrace, holding you close as if his mere touch could ward off the looming threat.

"I've got you," he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion as he pressed kisses to your foreheads. "I've got both of you. Everything's going to be okay." His words were a fervent mantra, repeated like a prayer as he desperately tried to reassure himself as much as you and Evan.

You found solace in Tim's embrace, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a soothing lullaby against your ear. Despite the pain coursing through your body, his presence offered a sense of calm amidst the storm, grounding you in the midst of chaos. With each tender touch and whispered word,exhaustion began to overtake you, the weight of the ordeal bearing down on your weary body, sleep beckoned like a siren's call.

Your eyelids grew heavy with weariness, the pain fading into the background as you surrendered to the embrace of sleep, trusting Tim to keep you safe.

Tim's heart clenched with fear as he felt you grow limp in his arms, panic surging through him like a tidal wave. "No, no, stay with me," he pleaded, his voice thick with emotion. "Don't you dare leave me, Y/N."

But despite his desperate pleas, unconsciousness claimed you, your body going slack against him. Evan's worried voice pierced through the fog of Tim's panic, the little boy shaking your hand with his tiny fingers. "Mommy?" he called out.

Tim's heart shattered at the sight of you lying unconscious on the ground, your face pale and peaceful in sleep. With trembling hands, he scooped Evan into his arms, shielding him from the sight of his mother's still form.

"It's okay, buddy. Mommy's just resting, that's all." Tim whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he held Evan close. But inside, Tim's heart was gripped by fear, his mind racing with worry for you and your unborn baby.

Tim's shouts for help pierced through the chaos, his voice trembled with desperation, tears streaming down his cheeks unchecked as he held Evan tightly in his arms. Each cry for assistance was a desperate plea, a fervent prayer for the help that he so desperately needed.

As the paramedics rushed to your side, Tim watched in horror as they whisked you away on a stretcher. Fear gnawed at his insides, a cold dread settling over him like a suffocating blanket, his chest tightened with every step they took, each moment stretching out into an eternity of agonizing uncertainty.

Angela rushed at Tim's side, and with trembling hands, he handed over Evan into her care, his voice shaking with emotion as he tried to reassure his son in the midst of his own storm.

"It's okay, champ," Tim murmured, his voice choked with tears. "Go with Aunt Angela. Daddy's going with mommy to make sure she's okay." Despite the weight of his own fears bearing down on him, Tim forced a small smile for Evan's sake.

Tim sat at your bedside, his fingers gently tracing patterns on the back of your hand as he watched over you. Evan was nestled against his chest, his soft snores filling the room with a comforting rhythm.

"How are you holding up, Tim?" Lucy asked, placing a reassuring hand on Tim's shoulders.

"Hanging in there." he whispered, caressing his son's hair like it was an anchor that kept his sanity at peace.

They took turns checking on you, their concern palpable in the air as Tim greeted them with a weary but grateful smile. With each visit, Tim's heart warmed by the unwavering support of his fellow officers and friends.

"Thanks for being here," he offered, his voice tinged with exhaustion but filled with appreciation. "It means a lot."

Angela's gaze softened as she placed a reassuring hand on Tim's shoulder. "We're here for you, Tim," she reassured him. "Whatever you need, just say the word."

As you began to stir, Tim's heart skipped a beat, his gaze never wavering from your face as you slowly blinked awake. "Hey there," he whispered softly, a tender smile gracing his lips as he brushed a stray lock of hair from your forehead. "How are you feeling?"

You returned his smile weakly, your voice barely above a whisper as you replied, "Better, now that you're here." The weight of the past few hours pressed heavily upon you, but the sight of Tim's presence beside you brought a sense of calm that you desperately needed.

Tim's heart swelled with relief at the sound of your voice, his fingers intertwining with yours as he leaned in to press another gentle kiss to your forehead. "I'm never leaving your side again," he vowed, his voice filled with conviction as he gazed into your eyes.

Evan stirred against Tim's chest, his sleepy voice calling out for you. "Mommy" he mumbled, his little arms reaching out in search of you.

Tim's heart melted at the sight of his son, his love for both you and Evan swelling within him like a tidal wave. "Shh, buddy," he whispered, his voice soft and soothing as he gently lifted Evan into his arms. "Mommy's right here."

Evan's sleepy eyes widened with delight as he caught sight of you, his face lighting up with joy. With a sleepy grin, he reached out towards you, his tiny fingers curling around your hand as Tim helped him to gently crawl onto the bed beside you.

You couldn't help but smile at the sight of your son, his presence bringing a sense of warmth and comfort that washed over you like a gentle wave. With Tim's steady hand guiding him, Evan nestled against your side, his sleepy gaze meeting yours with an expression of pure adoration.

"Love you, Mommy," Evan murmured, his voice filled with sleepy affection as he snuggled closer to you.

"I love you more, sweetheart," you whispered in reply as you pressed a tender kiss to Evan's forehead.

Tim's eyes glistened as he looked down at the two of you. With a tender smile, he leaned in to press a kiss to both your foreheads, his touch a silent affirmation of his love for you both.

"I love you both," Tim whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he held you and Evan close, "More than anything in this world."

[officallunar]

A deity and A man

This fanfic will be on deity!reader and just Lnd man’s because..I have yet to see anyone do this as often and maybe I can give it a try🙂‍↕️…

(I’m sorry yall i suck at aesthetics😭😭)

Warning:All fluff!

Sylus x Reader , Zayne x Reader ,Rafayel x Reader,Xavier x Reader! (All seperated)

Fanfic under cut!

The first time you encountered Sylus was unforgettable, mostly because he strolled into your quiet sanctuary like he owned the place. You were sitting on your favorite cliff, enjoying a rare moment of peace, when he appeared, his presence as bold as his white hair and piercing red eyes.

"So, you’re the deity I’ve heard so much about," he said, that cocky smirk plastered on his face. "I expected someone more... awe-inspiring."You arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. “And I expected a little more humility from someone who clearly just crashed the party.”

He laughed, unfazed. “Touché. But really, what’s a powerful deity like you doing out here all alone? Don’t you have realms to rule or something?”

“Watching over mortals is a bit boring,” you replied, crossing your arms. “But it seems like you need to work on your entrance.”With a playful glint in his eyes, he leaned closer. “I think my entrance was just fine. You’re the one who needs to lighten up.”

---

Now, weeks later, he’s become a regular visitor, showing up as if it’s his right. Tonight, as you sit under a sky full of stars, he slides down beside you, settling in with that same familiar grin.“Another night of solitude, huh?” he teases, nudging you lightly. “I hope you’ve saved some entertainment for me.”“Only if you can keep up,” you shoot back, the corner of your mouth twitching up in a smirk.He laughs, leaning closer, the playful challenge hanging between you. “Oh, I like a good challenge. What do you have in mind?”

You ponder for a moment, then say, “How about a little wager? If you can make me laugh before midnight, I’ll grant you one wish.”His eyes widen with intrigue. “And if I can’t?”“Then you have to leave me alone for a week,” you counter, enjoying the game.“Deal,” he says, and the tension shifts, both of you aware of the stakes.

As the night unfolds, Sylus starts pulling out his worst jokes, ranging from terrible puns to absurdly exaggerated stories about his ‘adventures’ in the N109 Zone. You try your best to hold it together, but each ridiculous tale has you laughing harder than the last.“Alright, you win,” you finally admit, breathless with laughter as midnight approaches. “You’re better at this than I thought.”

He grins, triumphant. “Now, what’s my wish, oh great deity?”You lean in, a mischievous glint in your eye. “How about you start by never calling me ‘great’ again? It’s just cringe.”He laughs, a deep, genuine sound that fills the night air. “I think I can live with that... for now.”

I’m sorry guys this is the only gif I found🥲🥲

Your first encounter with Xavier is when you floated through the abandoned warehouse, doing a routine check on the realm of humans when you stumbled across a familiar sight: A weird man , sprawled out on the floor, snoring softly. His greyish-white hair glowed faintly in the dim light, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Is this really how Deepspace Hunters do their jobs?” you said, voice smooth and teasing. He cracked one eye open, blinked at you, and promptly went back to sleep. (Sleeping beauty core??)

“Hey! Wake up! There’s a Wanderer nearby!” “Mmm, five more minutes…” he mumbled, rolling over. You sighed, shaking your head. “If you don’t wake up, you’re going to become its breakfast.” He jolted awake at that, leaping to his feet. “Why didn’t you say so?” He grabbed his sword and looked around, still half-asleep.

You couldn’t help but laugh as he took down the Wanderer with a flurry of sleepy strikes, yawning between swings. It was a chaotic dance of light and snoring, and somehow it all worked out.

- - -

Fast forward to now, you find yourself lounging in his apartment, a divine being sharing space with a hunter who’s currently napping on the couch. You watch as he shifts in his sleep, mumbling about “no more Wanderers” and “just five more minutes.” You lean over, poking him. “Xavier! Time to wake up!” He opens one eye lazily. “Is it a divine emergency?”

“Only if you consider missing breakfast a crisis.” He grins, stretching like a cat. “Good enough reason to wake up. What’s on the menu today?” “Pancakes, if you can manage to stay awake long enough to eat them.”

“Challenge accepted,” he smiles, and with that, he sits up, looking more awake but still a bit groggy. You can’t help but smile at his half-asleep charm. “Just promise me you won’t nap through the cooking.” “Only if you promise to keep the pancakes divine,” he replies, and you both laugh, the playful banter filling the room as you start breakfast together.

(Ah..next one,my favourite..I swear I’m not bias🥹👍)

The reason you visit Dr. Zayne Li—or rather, insist on popping into his life at the most inconvenient times—is a bit… unconventional. As a deity, you’re technically there to “watch over” him. After all, every mystical Foreseer needs a divine overseer, right? Or at least, that’s what you tell him when he raises an unimpressed eyebrow at your appearances. You’re meant to ensure he doesn’t stray from his destined path or, perhaps more accurately, doesn’t “forget” to relay prophecies or handle those icy, mystical duties Astra assigned him in the Tower of Thorns.

But, in truth, it's not just about cosmic obligations. There’s something about Zayne’s rigid, always-in-control demeanor that just begs for a little mischief. Maybe you’re a bit of a troublemaker (for his own good, of course), or maybe you simply find it amusing to see a doctor—always so precise and serious—dealing with the unexpected interruptions of a deity who shows up to “check on him.”

Sometimes, you claim it’s to make sure he’s managing that balance between mortal work and mystical duty properly. Other times, you vaguely mutter something about “divine energy alignment” while he just stares at you, unamused. The truth is, you’re always a little curious about this stubborn, hardworking doctor who treats his patients with such dedication but himself with nothing short of reckless neglect.

Though you’ll never admit it, seeing Zayne unphased by both heart surgery and celestial visits from an actual deity gives you an odd sense of calm—even if that calm comes with a side of his barely-suppressed eye-rolls. So, you keep dropping by, claiming to ensure he’s fulfilling his duties. And maybe, just maybe, you’re checking on him for reasons you’d never confess to his face.

The first time you met Rafayel, you were just a deity wandering around as usual, doing whatever it is deities do between one world and another. And honestly? You were a little bored, as any immortal would be after centuries of staring at endless ocean waves and making sure they didn’t get rowdy.

But that day, you saw something unusual: a young Lemurian, barely more than a kid, washed up on the shore like some bedraggled fish. He was tangled in seaweed, sputtering and swearing in a way that—if you were being honest—was more adorable than intimidating. You crouched over him, tapping his cheek with a finger, and asked, “You look like a drowned fish, kid. Need a hand, or should I start looking for some lemon slices to go with you?”

In response, he cracked open one eye, scowling like a wet cat, and muttered, “Who’re you calling a fish?”

Fast forward, and you had him propped up against a rock, offering him your limited (but highly entertaining) medical expertise. “Pretty lucky I was in the area,” you said, taking full credit for an accident of fate. “What’s your name, kid?”

“Rafayel,” he said, with as much dignity as a sea-sodden kid could muster.

“Cute name. Sorta like ‘fish fillet’,” you mused. He made a sound like he was trying not to laugh—or choke.

And just like that, Rafayel became your first-ever Lemurian “friend.” Over the next few years, whenever you were in the mood for company, you’d find him, or he’d find you. He’d grown out of his fishy awkwardness and into a young god of mischief himself. The Lemurian civilization saw you both as mythical, larger-than-life beings—until, of course, humans got involved, greedy as usual, wanting the blood of Lemurians for eternal life and all that jazz. You saw Rafayel change, his trust in humanity hardening into something darker, his artistry taking on a sharper edge.

But somehow, he never lost his humor or his bratty attitude with you.

- - -

The next time you run into him, it’s pure luck—or destiny, if you want to give it a fancy label. You’re strolling through Linkon City, admiring the odd human inventions they’ve come up with since you last paid attention. And just like that, you find yourself at Whitesand Bay, standing outside a sleek, modern art studio with a pretentious name you suspect he came up with in the middle of the night. Mo Art Studio,the sign reads. Classic Rafayel. You shove the door open and walk in without a second thought.

He’s perched on a ladder, painting the highest reaches of a canvas, looking like he just stepped out of an angsty artist’s dream. His purple hair’s mussed, and he has paint smeared across one cheek, which, you note with satisfaction, he hasn’t even noticed. You clear your throat, and he almost loses his balance, swearing under his breath as he catches himself.

“Well, if it isn’t the original fish out of water,” you say, crossing your arms with a grin.

He slowly turns, narrowing his eyes. “You.I thought you’d finally gone off to meddle with someone else’s civilization.” He smirks, hopping off the ladder, wiping his paint-streaked hands on his dark pants. “I see some things never change.”

“Neither do you,” you retort, making a show of studying him. “Still look like a kid I’d throw a fish at just for fun.”

“And you still look like you don’t belong on dry land,” he shoots back, with that tsundere spark in his eye. “You realize you’re disrupting a masterpiece in progress, don’t you?”

“Oh, is that what this is?” You pretend to admire the half-finished painting behind him. “Looks more like a disaster in progress, to me.”

His grin twitches. “What would a storm deity know about art? Stick to making trouble for fishermen or whatever you’re doing these days.”

You step closer, tapping a finger against the crimson coral in the corner of the canvas, looking at him knowingly. “This coral… it’s still soaked in blood, isn’t it?”

He raises an eyebrow, unbothered. “You catch on quick.” Then he leans forward, lowering his voice. “Let’s just say it’s a way of reminding certain… patrons of their crimes.”

“Not a grudge,” he says lightly, flashing that roguish grin. “Just selective justice.” Then he pauses, tilting his head at you. “I’m curious—what brings you here? Did the ocean get boring without me?”

“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes. “I just wanted to see how you’re holding up. Maybe witness the mess you’ve made of ‘modern’ civilization.” You give the painting another once-over. “I gotta say, Rafayel, revenge art? Bold choice.”

You grin. “Still holding grudges, I see.”

He shrugs, crossing his arms. “Art’s about making people feel something. And if it happens to make a few insufferable humans lose their minds, well… maybe that’s just a bonus.”You laugh, reaching over to ruffle his hair—just to annoy him. “Still such a brat, aren’t you?”

He swats your hand away, cheeks flushing just a bit. “And you’re still an annoying deity who doesn’t understand personal space.” He clears his throat. “But since you’re here, maybe you’d like to see what real art looks like up close.” He gives you a sly look. “Provided you can keep your opinions to yourself for once.”

“Sure, I’ll give you a free critique.” You wink, settling on his studio couch with exaggerated nonchalance. “Just don’t cry if I’m too harsh.”

(I’m sorry yall I had a bit too much fun)

[magics-neptunes-things]

Williamson Holding

Hi guys!

Sooo this is a request from @holly-wallis and honestly it's massive. Like more than 14K words. It took me forever to do it, that's why I haven't post as much as before those last days/weeks.

I really hope that you will enjoy it. I proofread it two times but it's so big that I might have forgot some faults.

TW : Angst, Jealousy, Break up, One-side love, Game lost, mention of Covid. Reader is Leah Williamson's sister.

Gif credit for Caitlin’s one at @teenwolf-theoriginals

______________________________________________________________

You were an accident. Not really wanted at first, you were born 354 days after Leah, the 18 March 1998. Your parents weren’t ready to have a second child so early after the birth of their first daughter, but you never felt anything but love from them. People joke sometimes that they used the same recipe for Leah and for you. It’s true that you look a lot like her physically and for the character you have definitively some similar points too. You both are determined, loyal, funny, and very close of your family. But the person you are the closest is definitively Leah.

3 years after you, your brother Jacob is born. You like to joke about it and saying that they finally weren’t to traumatize by you more than that. Jacob is your brother, and you love him very much, but your relationship is different from the one with Leah. You like having time with him, but with him being away in Australia now, it’s a little bit harder.

Oh, and like Leah and your mother you’re an Arsenal fan, obviously.

You started football together, but you played the goalkeeper, letting Leah practicing striking and dribbling. You weren’t bad to be honest, but they was to many competition to be a goalkeeper and you decided during your teenager period to go for study instead of football.

You were great in it honestly; Leah sometimes asked you to do her homework when she came back too late from training. You’ll do it with pleasure, happy to help your big sister who paid you generously in candy. Or dried mango, your great passion.

On day after Leah turned 17, she made her big debut with Arsenal senior team. You were so proud of her, cheering her from the stand with all your family. It was very different of what it is now, but you already knew that she would make something amazing in football. And how much were you right.

It was at this period that Leah and you talked about a company that you could make together. Leah was studying accounting in case of her career wasn’t successful and you were very interested in marketing, publicity and human relations.

The Williamson Holding Corporation was founded in summer 2016, when you finished your tuition. You learned several languages (French, Spanish and Mandarin) during your free time and thanks to Leah and your parent’s financial help, you were able to start this adventure. Your company always were able to have a good profit every year. You were able to repay your parents already and Leah always refused, so you made her a founder, just like you.

Through the years, your company get a sponsorship with Arsenal and in particular Arsenal Women, obviously. Along the years, you managed to travel a lot to make your company known in other countries and find other financials, but you always managed to come back to see Leah play. You never missed one of her games, as crazy at it sound.

February 2020 – When you properly met Caitlin for the first time.

“Y/N! Sorry, can I borrow my sister for one second?”

Leah doesn’t wait for the answer to your interlocutor and takes your arm to drag you somewhere else. You let her though, secretly happy to have to finish this uninterested discussion with that weird man. You note mentally to be sure not to invite him to the next gala.

“Where’s the dead body?” you ask your sister who rolls her eyes.

“Don’t joke about it, we’ll get catch by Covid otherwise.”

You roll your eyes yourself, but don’t say anything. You just wait to your sister to stop at some time, for what she almost kidnapped you. You end up right in front of Caitlin Foord, the new signing for Arsenal. You already saw her to the games, you smirked when you caught her looking at you two time before realizing that you weren’t Leah, the first time she saw you. To her point, you were wearing Leah’s jersey.

“Cait, my sister. Sis, this is Caitlin.” Leah introduces you, before leaving you both to catch someone else.

“Uh, hello?” Caitlin mumbles with surprise, apparently not advertise that Leah were going to introduce you both.

“Hi” you giggle. “Nice to be properly introduced to you. Please excuse my sister, she isn’t the one who studied human relations.”

Your giggles and your joke help Caitlin to relax and you’re happy to see her smiling too.

“I can see that” Caitlin answers with her Australian accent.

You had a small talk with her about Australia, a country where you never been for now. You really looked to it though, and not only to have the opportunity to make your company bigger. Jacob and you always talked about going there for holidays. And after talking to Caitlin, you will definitively go to the east part of the country.

You were joined by Katie McCabe and the three of you started talking for a long time after that. Caitlin asked you several questions about your company and seems surprised to learn the amount of work you are putting in it.

“She’s a natural” Katie smirks “Everyone comes eat in her hand, she can make people do whatever she wants.”

You smirk back, raising an eyebrow while crossing your arms on your chest at the same time.

“Not everything with everyone.”

Katie doesn’t have the time to answer anyway, because Leah is back with her Williamson’s frown.

“No flirting with my teammates Y/N!”

“I wasn’t! I wouldn’t have any problem with Irish mafia.” you answer, thinking about Katie’s girlfriend.

You raise both of your hands to prove your innocence. Katie and you aren’t really flirting, it was more for fun and for joking with each other. Katie laughs while Leah hums for any answer and changed the subject just after that, training you, Katie and Caitlin in the discussion.

The night went great, and you are happy to be able to have some time with Leah’s teammates who are also your friends, especially the ones who are in the team since a long time. You get along pretty well with Caitlin too, who would accept really quickly to at least make a photoshoot and a sponsoring for your company. Unfortunately there is suddenly the lockdown and you weren’t able to do it before that.

October 2020 – The shooting

“Hi Y/N!”

You smile to the employee who greats you when you enter the building where the photoshoot for Caitlin was attending. Being at every single one is something you do every time, so your employees aren’t surprised to see you coming. You great them back, asking around if everything is fine with everyone. It seems to be, so you go to find Caitlin.

The Australian girl is just coming out of the room where she changed her clothes and find herself right in front of you.

“Oh hi! I didn’t know you will come.”

“I like to be here for this kind of things” you answer with a smile. “How are you?”

“I’m fine thank you” she smiles back.

“Y/N are you ok if we start?” the photographer asks.

“Of course. I’m going to sit here.”

You look at your phone on the way, answering a message from one of your managers before sitting on a chair some meters away from the different cameras. Caitlin doesn’t seem to be at ease at first, but soon she finds her way. You have a perfect and entirely trust in your team, but you have already red too much time how people can make other bad with their comportment, and you clearly don’t want that in your company. That’s why you don’t have a lot of employees too. That and the fact that you love have the control on everything.

After several shots, the photographer decides to make a break and you come over to see what the pictures look like. They are great to be honest.

“I really love this one” you smile, pointing one of the pictures.

Caitlin’s blue eyes are really showing in it. You haven’t realized how blue they are since now to be honest. You then raise your gaze on the girl, just to cross the same blue.

“I think this is my favorite too.”

You hum, before congratulating the photographer for her job. It’s the first time she does it for you, but you will certainly ask her to work for you again. She’s young, like you, and you like the idea to help young people to start in their life. Provided they deserve it, of course.

They take other pictures after that, and you choose five of them to post on the social media.

“Do you want to go to eat something?” you ask Caitlin when everything is finished.

You don’t always have the time to do it with everyone, but when you can, you do it. Like you said before, almost every girl in Arsenal is your friend. You know some of them more, like Jen Beattie, Katie McCabe, or Lia Wälti who are the closest to Leah to be honest. But you like all of them. You didn’t have the time to meet Steph Catley for now though. It probably will be coming soon.

Caitlin accepted your offer, and you take her to one of your favorite restaurants.

“I didn’t expect to eat at Nando’s to be honest” Caitlin smiles after you sat at your table.

“Oh” you answer, looking up from the menu you know by heart. “We can go somewhere else if you want, I thought – “

“No, it’s perfect here. I like it. I used to go there with my Mum and my sister a lot back in Australia.”

You smile softly, relaxing a little bit. People seems to forget sometimes that you are still a young woman who can enjoy eating burger or fries with her fingers.

“How are you settling in London?” you ask after the waiter came to take your command.

“Good, actually. The rain is something else, but the girls are great.”

“I heard you especially like the Swiss part” you smirk.

You laugh when Caitlin blushes. Leah told you about Lia and Caitlin relationship several weeks ago, when they start to date officially. You don’t have to tell Caitlin how you know it though; the girl understands it really quickly.

“Leah talks too much” she smiles nevertheless. “What about you? Are you seeing someone?”

“Not for now” you shake your head, adding when you see Caitlin’s questioning look. “I mean I had some dates slash fling with someone but it’s hard to be in a relationship while working so much. Girls seems to have a hard time understanding I will pass my family and my job before something else. I can understand though, so it’s better for me to be single for now.”

“I didn’t know you were into girls too. You really are Leah’s copy.”

“Maybe” you smile.

Your sister is your favorite person ever. You will never be upset to be compared to her. In your eyes, she’s the most amazing person in the world.

“I am lucky to be able to see her so much. I won’t be able to deal with it as good as you do.”

“It’s very hard sometimes. Because of the lockdown and all I wasn’t able to go back to Australia. I haven’t seen them for almost a year now…”

You wince at the sadness suddenly present in Caitlin’s eyes, regretting to have point this. You are interrupted by the waiter and your meal coming for you, but you excuse yourself anyway.

“I’m sorry to bring it up. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know, don’t worry” Caitlin smiles softly. “I will see them soon now.”

You look into Caitlin’s eyes for some more seconds to be sure that she’s saying the truth, before nodding slowly. She seems to be honest, and you are really relieved. Starting a friendship like this would have been the worst way. You finally smile back and report your attention on your plate just after Caitlin did.

The following of the conversation is a little easier, talking about Arsenal helps a lot. You talk to Caitlin about all the little things she maybe didn’t know for now and learn a lot of things about her and her past. She talked to you about her childhood and the financial difficulties her mother had, raising two children as a single mom. That makes you realize one more time how lucky you are to be where you are now. This kind of stories remember you about it and it’s never enough in your opinion.

October 2021 – The surprise

Unlike Caitlin was hopping, she wasn’t able to see her family as much as she wanted. She went in Switzerland with Lia though and told you that it was a very great time. You thought about her sometimes, remembering the trouble her eyes did to you, but you erased this kind of thoughts very quickly. Caitlin was in a happy relationship and there is no way you even look at a no-single lady.

You managed to build a friendship with her though and you sometimes went out with her, Lia, and Leah. You had a great time every time and you decided that it was perfect for you like this.

Caitlin opened herself to you about missing her family, but the tickets to come in London from Australia were expensive and you know that she doesn’t mean it like that, but you don’t think twice before contacting Caitlin’s sister and offering to them the tickets. They refuse at first, but you managed to find the good words. And, not for the situation being strange, you included Lia in the surprise.

After all, Caitlin was your friend and Lia was her girlfriend.

The Swiss woman went to the airport to take Jamie and her mother back to Caitlin home. Leah asked the team to put some interview or media things for Caitlin at the right time, to let you and her decorate Caitlin’s house with the most too much decoration ever. There is a banner writing “Surprise” on it, yellow and green balloons, an Australian flag, and you even managed to find a kangaroo balloon who is floating around the living room.

“That’s so kitsch. I love it” Leah smirks.

You giggle while looking around. You have to admit that you made a great job together. Two seconds after, Lia and the two Foord were coming inside the house. After some greetings and hugs, they looked at the decoration and approve it too.

“So, I guess this is our time to leave.” Leah says while looking at you.

You nod and prepare yourself to take your things to leave. It was without counting on Caitlin’s mother opinion.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Simone asks with her Australian accent. “You helped to do that; you’re definitively staying.”

“But – “ you start.

“No but.”

You see Jamie, Caitlin’s sister, rolling her eyes at her mother antics, but you don’t have time to say something else because Lia comes, running from the entrance where she was looking outside.

“She’s here! Hide!”

After a moment of panic, Jamie and Simone hide behind the couch while Leah and you went to the kitchen. Two seconds later, the door is open.

“Lia? You’re home?” Caitlin asks.

“In the living room, Love.”

You hear the characteristic sound of keys dropping on a wood furniture and Caitlin walking to the living room. You can’t help but peek in the room, Leah doing exactly the same thing a second after, her head above yours.

“Surprise!”

Caitlin probably had a heart attack, but you can’t help but smile seeing her face. Lia is doing the same thing while Jamie and Simone went to hug the shocked girl. You smirk seeing Leah getting emotional, what’s coast you a slap on the head. You send her the Williamson’s glare, but she doesn’t seem to be impress by at for a single second. Which probably make sense.

After some tears and explications, Leah proposed to serve the Champagne she choose to celebrate the reunion. Your sister and you try to escape one more time to let the Foord in family, but Simone doesn’t let you one more time.

It’s a little bit later that you find yourself alone with Caitlin, while you were looking for something alcohol free to drink.

“Lia told me what you did. I don’t have the words to thank you enough.”

Of course, Lia isn’t the kind of girl to take credits for something she hasn’t done. You smile and shrug at Caitlin.

“You don’t have to. I was happy to do that for you.”

Caitlin bites her lip and looks in your eyes.

“You know, when I mention that the tickets were expensive…”

“I know you weren’t saying it for me to do that, Cait. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“Ok.”

You smile again and were ready to go back to the living room, but Caitlin surprises you by giving you a hug. You weren’t expecting it to be honest, but it’s still pleasant. You hug her back, tightening her briefly against you.

“Thank you” she mumbles.

“You’re welcome.”

Spring 2022 – The Breakup

“Caitlin and Lia broke up”

“What?”

You stop your movement, your chopsticks between your mouth and your plate. You were having dinner with Leah in her house, like every Monday when you are in London. Leah snorts when the noodles fall back in your plate, making some sauce splash your shirt, but that’s not what you are concentrating on.

“What do you mean they broke up?”

Leah shrug et finish her chicken before answering you.

“It happened this weekend, Lia called me Sunday evening.”

“What happened?”

You were shocked. Lia and Caitlin seem to get along very well the last time you saw them.

“Nothing much. Lia said they just went apart and that her relationship was more comfortable than passionate now.”

“So, they’re ok?”

“I don’t really know for Caitlin. But Lia was still very upset about it. They are still friends and care for each other obviously, but they aren’t a couple anymore.”

You frown only, not really sure what to do about this information. Lia was a good friend of yours and you kind of have avoided Caitlin since you make her family come to England. You realized that day that you were too impacted with her happiness to be only a friend. In your mind, she was with Lia and this relationship would be like forever. It was to protect yourself too, falling for someone who isn’t single isn’t really your thing.

“Did you have news from Caitlin?”

“No” you answer, eating again. “I mean I saw her at the last games but that’s all.”

“Mh.”

“What?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing.”

“‘k.”

Several hours later, you were on your bed, your phone in your hand and the conversation with Caitlin opened. It wasn’t used since your birthday, Caitlin sent you a message to wish you happy birthday, but nothing since that.

Writing to her isn’t a good idea, even if she’s single now, she still in a middle of a breakup. But you still can be a good friend to her, right? You just have to put your feelings away.

From You Hi Caitlin, I heard about your breakup by Leah. I just wanted to tell that if you need someone to talk or something, don’t hesitate to call or write me, ok? I hope you’re ok. Take care of you.

You feel stupid to send her something like that after reading it again. It’s kind of cliché and you hate it. But surprisingly, Caitlin answers you relatively quickly.

From Caitlin Hello, thanks for your message. I will do and I hope you are ok too.

You bite your lips, not really happy about the answer. But in another way, what could you have expected? You didn’t really talk since last year and you were avoiding her like the plague. It’s only your fault.

After that day, you keep checking more frequently with Caitlin, asking her if she needs anything and how she is feeling. From what she answers, she was around a lot with Jordan and Katie. Your sister broke up some weeks ago with Jordan after longs years together, so that’s maybe the explanation of why Leah stays a little away of Caitlin.

You start to talk a lot and when Caitlin starts to be the first to write you can’t help but feel a strange something in your stomach. You also went to eat or drink something, your friendship slowly beginning to start again. You have to admit that you missed her. But she never said or show you anything to make you think that she missed you the way you do.

You think it’s better to have her in your life as a friend than not to have her, though.

Autumn 2022 – The New Season

You never missed a single match from Leah’s team since she plays for Arsenal, so there was no way that you will miss this one too. It’s the first game of the new season and you just came back from your holidays. You went some days with Leah in Ibiza before flying to Dubai with a friend.

You just have time to go home, take a shower and put your Arsenal jersey before coming to the stadium.

“Here she is!” Leah says happily when she sees you.

She hugs you like you haven’t seen each other in months and not ten days. But you hug her back, kissing her cheek before she releases you.

“Someone got a tan” she smirks, taking a step back to have a better look at you.

Unlike Leah, you have the ability to tan. Leah just gets red when she exposed herself without protection. You roll your eyes but don’t respond anything, your attention being catch by a certain Australian striker coming in your direction, five steps away from Leah now.

“And you’re not with your girlfriend?” Leah asks, a teasing smirk always on her face.

“Girlfriend?”

By now Caitlin is just next to Leah and was able to hear your sister. You roll your eyes at her antics before answering.

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s a friend.”

You frown when Leah snorts and left saying something like “yeah sure”. You watch her leave several seconds before turning to Caitlin.

“She’s not my girlfriend” you say again.

You don’t know why you feel the need to assure that to Caitlin, she probably doesn’t give a single shit about it. In fact, she smiles at you and pass an arm around you to salute you. You didn’t talk a lot a lot during those ten days, the different timetables were insane.

“It’s good to see you” she says before letting you go.

“Good to see you too. How is the comeback from Australia?”

“Still a little jet lag, but I’m fine.”

You smile at her and take the time to really look at her. You don’t do it a lot, scared to fall for her again. I mean, harder. Because now that you have thought about it a little more, you remembered that Leah always told you not to even flirt with one of her teammate. Falling in love with one of them would be worse than everything. You know that she will react very badly to you in a relationship with one of them. You are scared to lose her; Leah will probably never forgive you if she learns that you are in love with Caitlin.

“You look good” you smile sincerely at her.

“Thanks”

You both hear someone calling her on the back, the drills are going to begin, and she has to go.

“Hey, are you still in London tomorrow?” she asks suddenly.

“Yes, why?”

“There is a new place near mine, and they are making brunch who look stunning. Do you want to come?”

“Sure” you smile. “Text me the address and the time.”

After a nod and a smile, she’s gone where she’s needed. The game went great, they got an easy win. And you try to stay impartial when Caitlin got carded.

Christmas 2022 – The New Delivery service

You were at your parent’s house with all your family, without counting Jacob who stayed in Australia this year. Your mother was sad but thanks to a long video call during the moment when you all opened your presents, she seems a little less sad about it. You eat way too much, drink maybe a little too much too. That’s why your mother more or less forbade you to take your car to go home.

Leah stayed too and you are both chilling in one of your parents’ couch with a hot tea. Some Christmas movie is on TV, but you are in a food coma and can’t really focus on it to be honest. You are cuddling against Leah who is playing with your hair.

“Have you heard from Caitlin those days?” your sister asks suddenly.

“We said Merry Christmas to each other this morning, but I guess she’s sleeping now given the time. Why you ask?”

The friendly relationship you have with Caitlin is known by a lot of your friends and family now. And despite all your efforts, you are now deeply in love with her. Seeing her at least both a week don’t help, but you can’t help yourself. When you’re not asking, Caitlin proposes you something and you can’t say no to her.

She told you during autumn that she doesn’t feel very well in her life sometimes, so you made the statement to keep an eye on her.

“She asks to have a mental break. I’m not sure when or if she will come back from Australia. She will miss the first trainings for sure.”

“She didn’t say anything to me” you frown.

She doesn’t have to, to be fair. You are just friends, you’re not her best friend or her sister. She doesn’t owe you anything. But you are still worried.

Later, in your room, you are thinking about a way to send her a message. You don’t want to accuse her of anything or make her feel more pressure. You don’t want to take a place you don’t have too, you sometimes wonder if she’s not having something with Jordan, which would be a little strange maybe. But once again, she doesn’t owe you anything.

From You Hey, I’m sorry if you feel that it’s not my place to ask. But Leah told me that you needed a mental break, so I was wondering if you were ok?

You wait some minutes before thinking again and realizing the stupidity of your message.

From You Forget my question, it was stupid. You asked for a mental break, of course you’re not ok Can you forget those messages please?

You stop there not to look even more strange. You cringe when you throw your phone somewhere on your bed before deciding to go take a long and hot shower. You roll your eyes when your father menace you to make you pay their hot water bill but don’t say anything other than a “Sorry Dad”.

You smile when you hear Leah laughing from her room, before going back to your childhood bedroom. You have a double bed since you are eighteen so you can lay down crosswise it in your towel and look at the ceiling how you want. You soon start to think about how weird your messages to Caitlin were, so you take your phone again.

Just to see that you have two missed calls from Caitlin.

You call her back without waiting a single second, putting your headphone while you wait for her to answer. You realize that it was a FaceTime call only when she answers you with a black screen.

“Hello” she says in a sad voice.

You may be only imagining that because you learned about her need of a mental break only two hours ago.

“Hi. Sorry I missed your calls.”

“Don’t worry. Were you in the shower?”

“How do you know?” you frown.

“You literally are in a towel?”

You lower your eyes on your body and facepalm mentally. If you had one pound every time you humiliate yourself in front of her, you would have been way richer by now.

“Oh shit. Can you wait for a second?”

She hums and you put your phone on the bed to put a shirt and some panties, mentally insulting yourself. You take the time to take a big breath before going back in your bed and taking your phone in your hand.

“Are you still in bed?” you ask, curious about the black screen.

“No, I’m still in my room though. I just… I don’t know. It was stupid to me to call you in FaceTime.”

“Don’t worry. How are you feeling?”

“I’m tired. Like mentally tired. Being at home made me realize that I don’t have a lot keeping me at London right now.”

That hurt. But you don’t say anything, planting your nails deep into the skin of your palms.

“What are you talking about? You have friends here; the girls of the team love you. And the fans too.”

“The fans aren’t really happy of me right now, I’m not able to score a lot and making my job right. I keep disappointing everyone.”

“You have the right to feel a little uneasy, that doesn’t take away from you what you achieved those last months, you know.”

Caitlin doesn’t answer, but you hear her sight a little bit. You don’t know if it’s something to hide some tears and you feel your heart break a little imagining that. You let several seconds pass before talking again.

“What can make you feel better right now?”

“For real? One of the brunches we eat.”

You smile hearing that. The place next to her house became one of your favorite spots to eat together. You really love it too, maybe because you share a lot of secrets and laughs here.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Nothing.”

You are lying. An idea had already pop in your head and you feel your brain running while you’re planning something in your head. Caitlin knows you enough to realize that you are up to something. You hear some shuffling, and you imagine that Caitlin just sits on her bed.

“What are you thinking?”

“Nothing” you answer, smiling.

“Y/N. Don’t you dare do something stupid.”

You did. The morning after the call, you went to the restaurant, took Caitlin usual command, and jump in the jet who belongs to your company. You don’t usually use it for long trip like this, but you wanted to be in Australia as soon as possible.

You feel a little bit stupid with your suitcase and the bag where Caitlin’s food is. You ask for it to be wrap carefully and explain that you want to take it on a trip, without mentioning it was a very long trip. Thanks to the fridge, you are sure that you won’t poison Caitlin.

You told to Leah that you have an urgent meeting somewhere in Australia with a possible investor that you can’t ignore. She’s a little bit gutted not to be able to pass New Year with you, but you promised to bring her some Lamington to eat with her tea. In fact, you’re not really lying, you do have someone who is interested by your company in Australia. You just aren’t really obliged to travel here to talk to him.

You swallow with difficulty when you are in front of Caitlin’s porch, hopping that you won’t have to face her mother or her sister. You didn’t mention to Caitlin that you were coming, so if she wants you to go away, you just will. You still have some things to do in Australia, you weren’t totally lying to Leah. You just hide the fact that your priority was to see Caitlin.

You take a big breath before knocking on the door. This is a bad idea. Maybe the worst idea you never had. Why are you so good in your job and so stupid when it concerns the girl you are in love with?

But you don’t have the possibility to stress even more, because soon the door is opening. Caitlin looks at you like you are a hallucination or something.

“Um. I have a delivery for miss Foord?”

You let your suitcase in the car you rent, so you just have the bag with the food in your hand. You lift it to show it to her and it doesn’t take her more than a second to recognize the logo.

“Y/N, what the hell?” she mumbles, taking it in her hand.

“I… Uh. Well, I have stuff to do in Australia for the company and I thought that because I’m on this part of the globe, it could be great to please you.”

You’re lying. And very bad. Caitlin is looking at you like you are crazy, and you can’t blame her, you made a 24 hours journey to take her some breakfast and see her. She’s not supposed to know the truth, but you feel like she has some suspicions. You feel yourself blush and offer her a small smile.

“I better go. Enjoy your food and see you later.”

Maybe you’ll go let yourself die in the middle of the Australian’s desert. With a little luck, some snake or scorpions are going to come to bite you and you will die in atrocious suffering.

“No, wait!”

She grabs your arm with her hand, and you turn in her direction. She’s looking at you with a strange gaze, that you don’t know from her.

“Do you want to drink something? We don’t have Earl Grey, but I still can make you a tea if you want to.”

“Ok” you smile softly.

Caitlin doesn’t let your arm go and took you inside. It’s very quiet and after several seconds you ask her if her mother or sister are here. She answers no, her sister is now leaving with her fiancé and her mother is working today. You nod, secretly relieved to know that you won’t have to face Simone for now. You’re pretty sure that she understood when you saw her the last time the real feelings you have for her daughter.

“Where are you staying?” Caitlin asks while you look at her making you a cup of tea.

“At Park Hyatt”

“In Sydney?”

You hum and she frowns while giving you the cup of tea. It’s fuming and because you are drinking a lot of tea, she knows that you like it with sugar and milk.

“And you wanted to go back in Sydney just after giving me the brunch?”

“Brunch that you aren’t eating, by the way.”

Realizing it, Caitlin takes the bag one more time before taking out the different packages. She still looking at you discreetly, but you busy yourself by drinking your tea.

New Year 2022-2023 – The New Beginning

Caitlin proposes to you to stay at her home and not to go to your hotel, but you refused. You don’t want to bother Caitlin or her mother. That doesn’t mean you don’t see Caitlin; in fact, you see her every day for several hours.

She even invited you to come to the party her friends are making for the New Year. You accepted, after asking her several times if she’s sure that you won’t be a burden. The third time you ask, she threatened to knock you out with her vegemite pot, so you stopped.

And when you’re not with Caitlin, you work. You don’t have the possibility to see your brother who is on the other side of Australia. You almost lost consciousness when you learned that it takes 41 hours by car to get to Perth. So, you promise Jacob that you will see him before going back to England. Still with your jet.

You call Leah and your mother every day, but you are still focused on your goal to make Caitlin comes back to London with you. She seems a little down to be honest, but she seems to be better day after day. It gives you hope.

“Would you like to stay her to sleep tonight?” Caitlin asks on the 31th December while you were sitting next to her on the couch.

“Oh… I don’t know, I still have my hotel room.”

“Come on, it’s like 2 hours from here. And if you drink, I would rather that you stay here. My Mother will sleep in one of her friend’s houses anyway.”

“Yeah, ok” you mumble. “Wouldn’t let you all alone I case you’ll be scared.”

You can see Caitlin’s smile from the corner of your eyes. You hate the pleasant feeling with the fact that she seems to care about you. One thing is sure, this trip doesn’t help you about how in love you are with this girl.

You never talked so much with Caitlin before now, and you never were so close of her. Like right now, you are watching TV and Caitlin’s legs are on yours. You put your hand on the knees of the Australian like it’s nothing, mechanically drawing shapes on it. Sometimes she put her head on your shoulder, and you have to concentrate yourself to stay cool about it.

You grab something to eat before going to take a shower and prepare for the party. You know that they would have been pictures of the night so you tell Leah that Caitlin invites you to pass the night with her and her friends, you know your sister would have been worried to learn that you are alone tonight. Or sad. And you don’t want any of it.

To be honest, you haven’t taken an outfit for the party, you thought that you would be alone in your hotel room. So, you have to shop in Sydney to find the right one. You were getting ready in Jamie’s old bedroom and were looking at yourself with skepticism when Caitlin comes to knock on the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Yep” you simply answer.

She enters the room, and you want to cry. You always had something for her with her hair down and with the outfit she chooses, she’s just breathtaking.

“You look stunning” you say, without thinking about the consequences.

You are surprised to see her blush and hide your smirk by finishing to style your hair.

“Can we take a picture for my sister?” you ask to the Australian woman.

She nods and you briefly hesitate between a selfie or a mirror picture. You choose the second one, posing with a smile and the V-form with your fingers while Caitlin is sticking out her tongue.

You send the picture to Leah with Caitlin looking above your shoulder. The proximity makes your heartbeat faster, but you try to keep it cool one again.

“Are you ready to go?”

You follow Caitlin outside and in the Uber you command to go to her friend’s house. Knowing you both will be drinking, it’s safer this way. You already met some of Caitlin’s friends during your stay and they all are very friendly. But tonight, they will be more of them. The house is pretty crowded already when you arrived, and you are relieved to feel Caitlin grabs your arm.

“Stay next to me, yeah?”

You thank the World for Caitlin being a little shy at first and making her able to understand that you might not feeling ok surrounded by a lot of stranger people. You take the excuse to cross the house to slip your hand in hers. Her hand is soft and warm, and you miss the feeling when you have to let her go.

Caitlin introduces you to some of her friend’s you haven’t met for now. And if you notice the interested and non-subtle look of one of them, you act like you don’t realize it at first. But then, she starts to talk to you so much that you almost don’t have the possibility to pass time with Caitlin.

At some point, you even lose sight of her. And you don’t like the idea, what if someone get close to her? In the way you dream of it? You don’t know if you would support it to be honest, not after being so close of her.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Julia tells you, taking you away of your thoughts.

She takes you on the part of the house being dedicated for the dancefloor and you follow her without saying anything. You look around to see if you can see Caitlin, but it seems like she’s not here. You distract yourself by dancing with Julia who is a pretty good dancer to be honest.

At some point, she comes closer to you to be able to be heard through the loud music. Her hand is on your hips and her mouth right next to your ear.

“It’s a shame that you live so far away. I really would like to know you better.”

You sigh internally, wondering how someone can flirt with you with such facilities when you can’t even make a hint for Caitlin to understand how much you care for her. You don’t have time to answer anything, because there is suddenly someone taking your arm and you recognize the softness of those hand before turning around.

“Mind if I take her back?” Caitlin asks.

Julia raises both of her hand in sign of surrender with a smile. She says something like “Talk to you later” but you don’t really listen to her, your eyes being plunged in Caitlin’s one.

She looks upset, but her voice is calm when she speaks to you.

“I’m going outside. Would you come with me?”

“Sure” you smile softly.

She hadn’t let go of your arm, but you pass your other around it to be sure not being separated from her during your journey to the door. You feel pathetic but you’ll do anything to be able to be close from her. Everyone seems to be here by now and the house is very crowded. With the music, the laughs, and the discussions, going outside is finally a good idea.

There is no one in the garden and the fresh air makes you shiver. But you prefer to be concentrated on Caitlin who has a wrinkle between her eyebrows from frowning. She sits on a low wall, and you follow her to stand next to her, looking at the moon to forget how much you want to touch her.

“Are you ok?” you ask after several minutes of silence.

“I am” she only answer, looking at the horizon.

It seems to you that she is not, but you don’t say anything else. You thought that she asked you to come with her to talk or something, but it seems like you were wrong. Caitlin doesn’t stay silence for long though, turning suddenly in your direction.

“No, in fact I’m not.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m trying to figure out things, and I can’t. And I really need to do it now because otherwise I think I’m really going to become crazy.”

She seems angry and desperate at the same time. She’s talking with her arms, a thing that she usually doesn’t. Hopping to help her to relax a little, you come near her, putting your hand on her knee.

“You can tell me everything, you know that right?”

She sighs, passing a hand on her face. You have the feeling to understand what she think, and that it’s the fact that she doesn’t know where to begin.

“I just… You came here from your appointment but you brought me food just because I mentioned the day before.”

“Yes” you confirm quietly.

It’s maybe better for you not to precise that you went to your appointment because you came here. This feels maybe a little creepy.

“And you told me that you start writing me and talking to me more because you heard by Leah that I was struggling after my breakup with Lia.”

“Yes” you say again.

“Why did we stop talking by the way? It looks like suddenly we grow apart?”

You shrug only, not knowing what to answer to her. You obviously take care not to cross her eyes when you answer.

“Why did you come back anyway? After my breakup?”

“Because I care for you” you answer, looking at her carefully.

“I think I need to know how much you care about me” she says slowly, and you are happy to be in the dark because your cheeks are bright red. “Please, Y/N. Because sometimes I feel like you like me as a friend and sometimes, I feel like there is more than that. But when I tell myself that, you kind of back off and everything is strange and blur again. Just like tonight, I thought that we would pass the night together, but you kept dancing with Julia and I understand because she’s fun and beautiful. But I hated to see you with her, and everything is… blur. And I really need to understand.”

It's your turn to stay silence, because where the hell could you start. You are not closed to answer to her questions, but you are scared because what you have seems so fragile to you.

“Are you interested in me more than a friend?” she finally asks.

Well, maybe you should have talk before because this question is very difficult to answer. Not because you don’t know the answer but because it can change anything. You swallow your saliva with difficulty before answering. You can’t lie to her.

“Yes. I am.” you mumble.

You hear Caitlin taking a big breath before expiring and you just can’t look at her. You hear the people inside getting excited and you wonder if it’s because it will soon be midnight.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Caitlin asks quietly.

“Because I care about you! At first you were in a relationship, and you seemed so happy in it and why in the world would I be between someone and their happiness? Then you broke up with Lia and you seemed so sad and so lost, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you in any way.”

You were talking fast, and loud, the feelings of all of it taking over the rest. You were struggling too, so much, but it was easier anyway to keep all of those feelings inside.

“And now? Why didn’t you say anything?”

You sigh and shrug. You just admitted that you were basically in love with her since day one, what can be worse than that anyway?

“Because I prefer to have you in my life as a friend than to take the risk to lose you.”

There is a moment of silence and just before Caitlin start to talk again, you hear the other people starting to count the seconds before midnight and the New Year.

“You are an idiot.”

10… 9… 8…

You hear Caitlin talk and even if the words could have been harsh, you have the feeling that she is smiling. You just have to look at her to see that she actually is, not her big toothy smile, but the small one. Her smirk.

“What?” you ask.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N Williamson.”

7…6…5…

Caitlin jumps from the small wall she was sitting on to come closer to you. You are frozen, you just watch her move to be right in front of you. You can smell her perfume, see how much her eyes are blue. She looks at your eyes too, before that her eyes drop on your lips.

4…3…2…

She cups your jaw with her hand, so tenderly that you just want to melt only with that gesture. Your heart almost went out of your body when you realize that she’s leaning to you, still letting you the possibility to back off if you want to.

You don’t want to.

1…0

Just when your lips met, the firework of the city irrupts in the sky, being a pretty good metaphor of what you’re feeling inside right at this moment. You are finally kissing the girl you are in love with and she’s kissing you back. She even put her hand in your back to press you against her while her other hand left your jaw to be on your neck.

When the air became an issue, you press your forehead against hers, without being able to suppress the big smile on your face. When you open your eyes, you see that she’s looking at you, offering a shy smile.

“Do you want to go home? To talk about all of this?”

“Talking?” you smile softly.

“Well, maybe kissing too, a little bit.”

16 August 2023 – The World Cup

You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s the semi-finale of the Women World Cup in Australia and your national team, England just won it place for the finale against Spain. You distractedly prevent your sister from jumping from excitement, so as not to make her knee injury worse. You would probably have been happier about the results if Leah were on the pitch, to be honest.

You are looking at your girlfriend’s silhouette, sitting on the floor. You can’t express how much you would like to go on the pitch and hug her tightly. You know how much this game meant for Caitlin and the rest of her team. Seeing her away from you from only several meters when you weren’t able to see her from almost two months is hard too.

You chose to hide your relationship with Caitlin to anyone around you, except Caitlin’s mother who definitively can read way to easily into people. So, you weren’t able to explain to your sister why you felt so moody those past days, the distance between you and Caitlin being hard to deal with. You can’t explain how much you missed her. Even if you call each other every day, it wasn’t the same.

You were busy helping Leah with her injury though, taking her to every single of her appointment, letting Lia Wälti doing it when you weren’t able to. Since Caitlin left, you went to live to Leah’s. And when your big sister told you that she was coming to Australia to the match, you came too. You even were able to see your brother this time.

After the game, Leah took you to the locker room to meet her teammates and you hug the ones playing to Arsenal. And Alessia Russo, who is coming for the new season too. You were talking to Mary Earps when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. Excusing yourself, you get out the locker room to answer when you see Caitlin’s ID on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Are you still in the stadium?”

“Yes. Where are you?”

“I just went back to my hotel room. Everyone is so sad, I can’t look at them right now.”

You pout, hearing that said sadness in Caitlin’s voice too. You can easily imagine her on her bed, still her Matilda’s jogging.

“I’m so sorry Babe” you whisper in your phone, looking around you to be sure that no one is around. “You played great and I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks” she mumbles before adding “I miss you.”

“I miss you too, so so much. When are you going back to London?”

“Two days after the game against Sweden. They still want to make a celebration about all of it in Sydney. Are you still staying to watch the finale?”

“Yes, Leah got us tickets. I’m going back the day after though; would you like to go back with me instead?”

She hums only and you’re not sure that she really understands what you ask her. You are not angry or hurt anyway, you know that she has to deal with the lost and the sadness of it. You just want to make her feel better.

One hour later, you were waiting for her to answer to you in front of her door. You managed to sneak inside the hotel and left Leah with Keira and Georgia. You are not sure that she realized you were missing, so happy to be able to pass time with some of her closest friends.

You knock again when you realized that no one is answering, not too hard. You don’t want to attract anybody’s attention. You were tense, scared to be seen by someone. Thanks God, Caitlin finally opens her door and looks at you like she’s seeing a ghost.

“Are you alone?” you whisper.

“Yes, but…”

Just like her mother would say, no but. You entered the room and immediately pass your arms around her neck to kiss her. Caitlin needs several seconds to realize what is happening before kissing you back.

“What are you doing here?” she asks gently when you release each other.

“I missed you. And you are sad and being just dozens of meters away from you without being able to talk to you killed me.”

Caitlin smile sadly, taking your hand to make you sit on her bed. Unlike you were thinking, she changed her clothes and is wearing a short with a hoodie. It feels very soft when you take her against you to hug her. You close your eyes, letting yourself invade by her sent.

“I was looking at you every time I was able to. You are hot in a jersey, but yellow would have suits you better than white.”

She pulls gently on the white t-shirt you’re wearing, a number eight with Williamson on the back, of course. You smile softly, kissing her temple. She snuggles closer to you, passing on of her leg on your own.

“Have you eaten something?” you ask.

“Nah. I’m not really hungry for now.”

“What about a bath?”

“I already took a shower.”

“Ok, I’m asking the question again. What about a bath with me?” you ask after a sigh.

You feel her smirk against you, and she sit on the bed to be able to look at you.

“You mean I’ll have the possibility to get you away from this horrible jersey and having you naked against me by the same move? I’ll be crazy to say no.”

You roll your eyes and throw a cushion at her before getting up from the bed. You then go to the bathroom to start running the water, waiting patiently to find the right temperature. You check your phone just to be sure that Leah isn’t looking for you when the tube is getting filled, and then you go back to Caitlin in the room.

“It’s ready when you are Babe.”

You give her both hands to help her to get up from the bed, which she doesn’t hesitate to take. But, as she gets up from the bed, she’s not following you to the bathroom like you thought she would. She passes her arms around your shoulder, holding you tight against her.

Understanding what she needs, you hold her back, even firmer against you. You are higher from several centimeters from her, not so much though. But you like the way she can easily hide her face in your neck without taking strange position. You rock her softly, kissing her cheeks and her hair several times, only to release her when she’s ready.

“Thanks for coming here for me” she whispers against your skin.

“Every time” you smile sincerely, looking tenderly at her.

She smiles back and cup your chin with her hand, before following you to the bathroom this time. You try to make her go alone in the tub; you really just want her to relax. But you finish with her in it, massaging slowly her back.

You know her team has special masseurs and that they are definitively way more skillful that you are. But seeing how your girlfriend has her eyes closed and let you do whatever you want, it must not be unpleasant. Except that the moan and whispers she’s making are making you think about something else, and please everyone forgive you, but you don’t had sex for two months and your girlfriend is naked in front of you.

“Why d’you stop?” Caitlin mumble with a pout.

You are glad that she’s sitting in front of you and that she can’t see your face, because you are bright red once again. You don’t want to take advantage of her, she’s upset and tired. You kiss her shoulder though, getting her hair out of the way. You love her with her hair down. Have you already mentioned it?

“Isn’t it time for great footballer to go to bed?”

She groans and turn around to face you. You are trying hard to just look at her face and not being distracted by everything else. But then she sits on your lap, and you have to get out of the water right now.

“Why are you so tense?” she frowns. “You may be the one needing a massage.”

You laugh softly and decide to be honest with her since not talking about your feelings made you lost time before. And you are a very bad liar. You bite your bottom lip before answering.

“I haven’t seen you in like two whole months, which mean that I haven’t touch you from two months, Caitlin. And you are naked on me and I’m really trying to be a good and caring girlfriend without sinful ideas because I know how much disappointed you are, but you make it very hard. Plus, the water is getting cold.”

The realization appears on her face, before being erased by mischievous smile.

“We still can put hot water in it.”

In the end, you add hot water on the tub several times. When you emerge from the bath, you are as tired as Caitlin, and she doesn’t need many pleas to make you stay with her. You were planning to go back to your hotel room that night to be honest. But you don’t. You answer to Leah who wrote you to tell you that she’s sleeping with the team and asked you if you want to go with her before going under the cover next to your Aussie’s girlfriend.

You lie face to face with her and smile when she starts to stroke your face.

“You are so beautiful.”

You roll your eyes and smile.

“You need to sleep Foord; you are starting to get delirious.”

She frowns and hit your forehead before leaning to kiss you. You smile against her lips and when she turns around to let you cuddle her from behind, you don’t need more than several seconds to fall asleep.

Hours later, you are waking up of your peaceful sleep by a deep voice with an Australian accent.

“Caitlin Foord what the hell?!”

Caitlin jumps next to you and you groan, hiding under the cover. Before you understand what is really happening, your girlfriend took Mackenzie Arnold by the arm to take her with her in the bathroom.

“Why the hell is there Leah Williamson half naked in your bed?” Mackenzie whisper-shout from the bathroom.

You roll your eyes, rolling on your back to grab your phone. It’s more than 9 in the morning, you really should have put an alarm on your phone. Thanks god, there isn’t message from Leah for now.

“It’s not Leah” you hear Caitlin answer.

“I have bloody eyes you know?”

Now that you realize what is happening, your heart is pounding. Mackenzie isn’t a close friend of Leah, but you know that her girlfriend is a good friend of Alessia who is a good friend to Leah. And you. But more to Leah. And you obviously can’t let anyone near Leah know about your relationship.

“It’s not Leah! … It’s her sister.”

There is a moment of silence and then

“You are in so much trouble. Leah is going to kill you.”

“I know! That’s why you have to shut your mouth Macca, even with Kristy.”

Mackenzie snorts and even you can’t see it, you easily can imagine Caitlin’s imploring look. There is a sigh, and you sit on the bed.

“Alright, I’m not saying anything. But you really should have chosen someone else to get over the lost.”

“It’s not just… We are together, actually. Like in couple.”

“Oooh that’s why you are always glued to your phone?”

“It’s not really the time to talk about that right now” Caitlin points.

She’s right, but you can’t help but smile at this. You are happy to have a good abonnement though, otherwise you will probably be poor because of your phone’s bill. There is some more noise, and the door handle goes down before the gesture suddenly stops.

“Not a word to Alanna too, please.”

“Promise.”

After that they are both out of the bathroom and you smile awkwardly to Mackenzie before she waves at you and get out of the room.

“I’m so sorry.”

Caitlin looks so tense that you almost feel sorry for her, but you are really stressed too. You shouldn’t have stayed the night here. Sighing, you get up from the bed to look for your clothes.

“It’s not your fault.”

Caitlin hums and while you are getting ready, a question pops suddenly in your head. You look up at your girlfriend who is sitting on the windowsill, looking outward. She’s still in her pj’s with her bed hair.

“Cait?” you call her softly.

She just turns her head in your direction. To distract yourself a little bit, you braid your hair while asking the question bothering you.

“I shouldn’t be concerned about Mackenzie coming in your room at random hours of the day or night, right?”

Her face goes soft, and she breaks the few meters between you to stop right in front of you.

“You don’t have anything to be worried about” she answers, slipping a rebellious lock of hair behind your ear. “No one is in my mind apart from you. Plus Macca has her own girlfriend.”

“Ok.” you smile before hugging her.

You stay in her arms longer than usual. Saying her goodbye is hard even if you know you will see her again in several days now.

April 2024 – The Fight

It was several months after the World Cup that Caitlin mentions for the first time to talk to Leah about your relationship. You were still hiding at that time, just like you are still doing now. You refuse to do it, saying that it was too early and explaining to her again why you can’t do that for now.

She understood your place but then she talked about it again in January, when you had to wait for several days to have a date to celebrate your first anniversary. The date being the First of January, you were obviously passing the day with Leah and your family. You gave her the same answer, it’s too soon and you don’t want to fight with your sister when she’s about to come back on the pitches from her injury.

But now, Caitlin is talking about it again and you can feel how much she’s frustrated about it. You try to make everything to distract her from that idea. You took her on trip just the two of you, using once again your jet to gain time. You are sleeping at her house every time you can. In reality you would love to be open about your relationship, in front of your friends and family at least. But you can’t take the risk to lose or disappoint your sister.

“It’s been a year and three months, Y/N.” Caitlin is saying, frowning like never before. “Leah is back on the pitch; we won the finale against Chelsea and your last deal went well and there is nothing holding us now. Well, except you.”

You sigh, pitching the base of your nose. You don’t want to fight with her. It happens almost never to be fair, only when you are talking about this.

“I can’t do it now, Babe. I just… I don’t know how Leah would react and I can’t take any risks.”

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I can’t, Caitlin.”

She snorts and cross her arms on her chest. She’s hurt, you can see it. You try to take a step to touch her, but she backs up from two steps where you took one. Your arm falls stupidly against your hip.

“Come on, you can’t ask me to choose between you and my sister. I told you since the beginning why we can’t talk about it to people.”

“Why are we even together then?” she asks coldly.

The question hurts but you decided to ignore the feeling to stay honest to your girlfriend and make her understand your statement.

“Well I don’t know, because I love you?” you answer, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t feel like it’s really the case right now.”

“Don’t say that” you frown too. “You know that I love you.”

But Caitlin is shaking her head and starts collecting her things around your living room. She’s shaking and you try once again to make her stop. Your arguments have never been deeper.

“Baby, please…” you start but she cuts you.

“No. I can’t do that anymore. I can’t stay with you if that means we’ll never evolve in any way. I just can’t.”

You feel numb when you look at her putting her shoes and taking her vest. You follow her like a lost puppy in the entrance, trying once again to grab her arm. You are successful this time and she stops her movements.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Let go of me now, please.”

You just obey, slowly releasing her arm. There is a lump in your throat when you talk again.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Your voice is hardly even a whisper, but Caitlin doesn’t miss it. Her blue eyes cross yours when she looks up over her shoulder.

“Talk to you soon.”

And then, she’s gone. You try to call her of course, texted her too, but she never answered. It’s with puffy red eyes and tears on her face that Leah finds you under your covers in your bed several hours later. She got scared when she doesn’t receive any answer to her text and just come to your home.

She hugs you at first, helping you to calm down to be able to talk and explain what is happening. You hesitated at first, before telling her everything. Well, almost everything because you never mentioned Caitlin’s name or the fact that she knows Leah.

“Tell me her name and I will go on her to make you cry like this.”

Your big sister managed to take you out from your bed to go to the living room and made you drink water and eat something. There are still tears running on your face from time to time, but Leah takes the time to wipe them gently each time.

“She just broke up with me. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Leah makes a grimace before taking you back against her for a new hug.

“If she can’t wait for you, it means that she didn’t deserve you, Love.”

“Can we stop talking about her? Please.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

Leah puts the TV on, starting a random show and you try to concentrate on it. You can’t really, but you are still so thankful for your sister. The way she listened to you talking, holding you while you cry like a crazy woman without pushing you to know anything else makes you think that maybe she wouldn’t have scream if you talked to your love for Caitlin. But it’s too late anyway. Caitlin doesn’t want you anymore.

********

Two days after, on Saturday, Leah took you to the game. She almost hasn’t left your side, only to go to training. You are still working though, losing yourself in work. Like you always did before Catilin.

“What’s happening to your sister?” Lia asks Leah during the training.

Your sister turns in your direction, watching you several seconds before sighing. She’s aware that Caitlin isn’t far away from them, but she doesn’t know where your problem comes from, so she answers anyway. Caitlin is supposed to be your friend after all.

“She’s navigating through her first breakup” Leah answers, still looking at you.

Your mother is sitting next to you, she has her hand on your shoulder. Leah explained to your parents what was happening to you and of course your mother is looking for you like you are dying. You are looking at the pitch, but Leah can tell that you aren’t really looking. Unless you’ve discovered in yourself a passion for corner posts.

“Oh? I didn’t know she had someone.”

“Me neither” your sister sighs. “She’s like this since Wednesday but she doesn’t want to tell me who she is.”

Next to your sister, Caitlin gulps nervously when she crosses Steph’s gaze. Caitlin is a mess since Wednesday too. She took the decision to leave, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for her. She almost called you a thousand times. She missed you and wasn’t able to hide her sadness with the people who know her the best. Steph Catley is one of them.

“What?” Caitlin snaps at her teammate.

“Nothing” Steph answers, still looking at her suspiciously.

Caitlin went back to the bench nervously to grab something to drink, looking discreetly in your direction. Now your mother is talking to you, and you are looking at her, but Caitlin knows you very well and realizes how destroyed you look. Of course, it made her sadder than ever, but she still has her point. She wants to move in with you, be able to talk about her girlfriend to everyone one, she wants to take you on date in London and not only seeing you in one of your apartments. She wants to be able to walk holding your hand where you both live, not in the other side of the world. She wants to be able to take a plane without needing to hide in the airport.

You were hopping that Caitlin will be benched today, but she’s starting just like Leah. Which means that you will have to look at her for 90 minutes, knowing that you lost her.

It’s a great game to be honest, and while your mother feed you with fries and chicken nuggets (it’s a family thing) you are able to distract yourself enough not to cry while watching your ex-girlfriend.

Leah is sub at the 78th minute and Caitlin is still playing. You would have preferred for her to go on the bench too, particularly when she got hurt five minutes after that. The tackle wasn’t clean at all and you know right away that Caitlin is hurt. Like really hurt. You don’t need to see the stretchers coming for her, you don’t need the concerned looks of her teammate or Katie shouting at the girl taking Caitlin down.

You are up of your seat instantly, trying to have a better look of what is happening. They take longs agonizing minutes to get Caitlin out of the pitch and you run in the locker room in hope to be able to see her. But you just run into Leah.

“I’m going to the hospital to be with her” your sister explains to you. “I’m not allowed to go with her to the ambulance so I’ll take my car.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure.”

You are relieved that she doesn’t question you, but once again Caitlin and you are supposed to be friends. Even close friends. You follow Leah to the parking, and she’s ignoring the fan calling her name for the first time. You are so nervous that you want to throw up and you are glad that your sister isn’t talking, otherwise you are not sure that you will be able to contain yourself.

One of the Arsenal’s medics is waiting for you when you arrive, and he takes you into a private waiting room. From now, you just have to wait. Sitting next to Leah, you put your head on her shoulder and are glad that her cuddle instinct is so high when she passes her arm around your waist to hug you. You really don’t deserve her love; you were lying to her from months now.

Leah was scrolling on her phone for what feels like hours when someone comes in the waiting room.

“Are you here for miss Foord?” the medic asks.

“We are” Leah answers while getting up. “How is she?”

“Right. So, her leg has a doble fracture, but those are sharps break so she normally doesn’t need any surgery. She’s in a lot of pain though, so we give her something to help her. She also has a big bruise on the knee, but it will resolve itself. Would you like to see her?”

“If it’s possible, yes” Leah nods.

“Only one person for now.”

Your sister turns to you and you shrug, trying your best to smile at her. You would kill to be able to see Caitlin right now, but she doesn’t know that you are here. And you’re not sure that she wants to see you. Probably not.

“Go. I’ll text or ring her mother.”

Leah nods once again and follow the male nurse to Caitlin’s room. There are strange machines in the room, but Caitlin is up.

“She’s under drugs. She might be a little out of it” the medic whispers to Leah before leaving the room.

The noise of the door makes Caitlin turns her head in Leah’s direction. The blonde gives her a smile and take a chair to sit next to her.

“Oh. Wrong Williamson.”

“What?” Leah laughs softly while sitting up.

Caitlin is speaking like she’s half-asleep but when she looks at Leah, your sister feels like she knows very well what she’s saying. At least that the words are real.

“I would rather see your sister.”

She shrugs and wince, the drugs making her head feels fuzzy.

“Well she’s here, I still can ask her to come if you want” Leah proposes kindly.

“She’s here?”

The surprise on Caitlin’s tone is astonishing to Leah, who frowns a little while looking at her friend. She knows how much time you pass together, well for the brunch or this kind of things. Not really that you passed almost every night together when you are in London. Unless it’s a Monday and you are at Leah’s.

“Yeah?”

Caitlin stays quiet for several seconds, before sighing and looking at the window. The view isn’t amazing to be honest, just the parking lot of the hospital.

“She wouldn’t want to see me anyway. I fucking broke her heart.”

“What are you talking about?” Leah frowns deepens.

She doesn’t mean to take advantage of Caitlin under drugs, but it’s about you and you are the person who is the most important in her life. It’s not a one-side thing, you are Leah’s person as much as she’s yours.

“We had a fight Wednesday because I wanted to tell you about our relationship or at least that she really thinks about telling you. But like usual she had excuses, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I love her so much it’s hurt. I just want to be able to hold my girl in public and tell the world how wonderful she is. Who travel the world to bring someone fucking pancake? We were amazing and now we are nothing and a fucking prick just broke my fucking leg and I just want to her to hug me. But she can’t because I fucking wasn’t patient enough with her.“

Leah is stunned. And not only because of Caitlin’s unusual use of swear words. She never though a single second that Caitlin and you were more than just friends. Or that the Australian was the reason of your tears for the last days.

“I know that she loved me, but she loves you even more Leah. She was so scared to lose you. But now I lost her. And I’m really tired.”

“You should sleep a little maybe” Leah mumbles.

Caitlin sighs and close her eyes.

“I’m going to see my sister, will you be ok alone a little bit?”

“Yeah” Caitlin breath before opening her eyes. “Will you tell her? That I love her?”

Leah hesitates some seconds before nodding and smiling softly.

“Yeah. I will.”

She watches the Australian woman closes her eyes and falling asleep as soon as her eyes are closed. Her mind is running, trying to understand what she just learned. She feels like she isn’t really here when she finds you still sitting on the waiting room. You immediately spot her concern look and get up from your chair.

“Is everything ok? I just wrote to Caitlin’s mother that she will be fine?”

“Yeah, she just fell asleep.”

You let a shaky breath pass your lips, really relieved. Your sister still looks pale, but maybe it’s because of those white walls?

“She has a message for you though, that she asked me to tell you.”

“What is it?”

You are curious to know and look at your sister who cross her arms on her chest while looking at you.

“She asks me to tell you that she loves you.”

Well now you might be whiter than Leah. Your big sister watches you become paler than ever, she watches your eyes widen too and how you open your mouth several times to talk without anything coming out.

“What were you thinking Y/N, really?”

You could cry right now. You passed months perfectly hiding your relationship to Leah, giving you probably the onset of an ulcer due to anxiety, and some drugs from a public hospital is going to break all the efforts you made?

“Leah, I’m so sorry” you began, begging while looking at her. “Please, I never wanted to hide something to you, I swear.”

You were panicking. You just lost your girlfriend and now you are about to lose your sister too. The two most important people in your world, sorry to your mom.

“I just don’t understand” Leah says, shaking her head.

You probably are going to have a panic attack.

“I…”

“I don’t understand” Leah cuts you “How you might have thought that I will be mad at you for being with someone who made you happy?”

You don’t understand and you probably don’t look very intelligent with the way you are looking at Leah. She’s still frowning, but you realize that she isn’t mad at you, she just seems lost.

“You said several times that I wasn’t allowed to flirt with one of your teammates, Le” you point, whispering.

“I said flirt because I didn’t want some of hormonal footballer taking advantage of you! Being in love is something else.”

“You are not mad at me?” you ask shyly.

“Of course not, you idiot. I love you more than anything, your happiness is what comes first.”

Leah rolls her eyes and reach out to you. You don’t hesitate to go in her arms, relieved by the unexpected turn of events. The nose in her hair, you whisper :

“I’m sorry for keeping things away from you.”

“It’s ok” Leah says softly, squeezing you a little harder. “I’m sorry you were in so much pain.”

She kisses your cheek and let you go, not without taking you by the shoulders to have a better look at you.

“We are going to make things better between you and Caitlin now, if it’s really what you want. Ok?”

“I’m not sure she’s still interested. She really is mad at me.” you shrug.

“Please. She told me I’m the wrong Williamson, if she doesn’t take you back, I’ll send her back to Sydney.”

********

When Caitlin wakes up almost three hours later, the sun was gone and the room is almost in the dark. There is a small light on the nightstand, and she needs some seconds to remember where she is and why her leg is hurting like hell. She groans and try to roll on her side, her back sore to have been in the same position for hours now. But her leg hurts more, and she opens her eyes, grimacing slightly.

Then she sees you and froze several seconds.

You were already looking at her, like you were doing since you entered the room. She doesn’t seem really peaceful while sleeping and your heart hurt to see her in pain.

“Hi” you whisper, in case her head is hurtful.

“Did I really told your sister than I’m in love with you or was I dreaming?”

You look at her several seconds, trying to see in her eyes if she’s stressed or anxious before answering.

“You ask her to tell me that you love me, but I guess it’s the same thing.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok” you say, coming closer to the bed. “It’s not what bother me now. How are you feeling?”

“Ok, I guess. Thanks god we are at the end of the season. The doctor said I will be ok to play for the Olympics.”

“That’s a good new”

Caitlin hums and you look at your hands, lost in your thoughts. It’s maybe a good think that she hasn’t ask you for now to get out of her room, but you chose not to push your luck too much.

“I uh, I’ll let you in peace now. I wrote to your mother and your sister to reassure them, but Beth came with your phone and other stuff like one hour ago” you explain while getting up. “You can write to them if you want to.”

“Oh… No wait, please. Can you stay? Just a little bit?”

You hesitate for several seconds, looking at Caitlin before answering anything. You want to stay, of course. You finally slowly sit down again on the chair.

“Thanks” she mumbles. “Look, about what I said to Leah…”

“It’s ok” you say again, shrugging. “She isn’t mad.”

“No?”

You shake your head, playing with your nails and fingers without looking at her. Caitlin knows how much Leah means for you so you’re pretty sure that she would have feel guilty if Leah was mad at you.

“Is she not mad because she knows that we are no longer together, or would she have been even if we were still together?”

“I think she would have been ok. If that was the case.”

You hear Caitlin takes a deep and big breath, making you look at her. You can’t read the feeling on her face, so you are happy to see her talking again. You don’t know what behavior you can have with her now, are you still able to ask her all the questions you want?

“I don’t know how to say that” Caitlin sighs. “But is there a chance that we maybe try to make things better between us?”

“Better like in being friends again?”

You see Caitlin rolling her eyes and you understand quickly that you haven’t guess right. You are surprised to see a small smile on her face despite the situation you are in.

“How can you be so clever when it’s about your company and so obvious when it concerns relationships?”

You roll your eyes too, used to being criticized about your lack of ease in human relations when they do not concern your job.

“Yes, because you are the most sociable and none-shy person in the world yourself.”

“Touché.”

There is a silence, during which you are looking at each other.

“Can you forgive me for running away the other day?” Caitlin asks softly.

“Only if you forgive me for believing during all this time that my sister wouldn’t accept our relationship and how I was wrong.”

She smiles again and you smile back at her. You get up when she asks you to sit next to her by patting the bed next to her. That place being the other side of her injured leg, you oblige.

“I don’t know how explain how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have left like this.”

“I get it. It wasn’t a pleasant situation. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or anything.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I am too” you whisper.

After one second of hesitation, you put your head on her shoulder, and you close your eyes when she put her chin on your head.

“So, what now that Leah knows?” Caitlin asks.

To be honest, you don’t really know. Today was a lot of feelings to deal with and you don’t even know where to start. Your girlfriend (?) seems to understand what is happening in your head, because she kisses tenderly your temple before talking.

“What about I get out from here first?”

“That sounds good” you smile softly. “And from here, you come right to mine so I can take care of you.”

“Perfect.”

You watch the Aussie laying down on the bed and you turn on your side to be able to look at her better. With your finger, you are tracing random patterns on her arm. You know that she’s falling asleep but you need to ask the question.

“Cait?”

“Mh?” she answers, without opening her eyes.

“Are we back together? Like, are you my girlfriend again?”

She snorts and snuggle closer from you, already half-asleep.

“Yes we are. Weirdo.”

[lokotrona11]

Gift kisses

Pairing : Peter Pevensie x Reader

summary : You go out with Caspian but Peter won't stop kissing you.

Word count : Less than 1k maybe 800

AN: The gif is not mine, I am not correcting what he published, and it is also taken from Casi angeles. I think nothing more.

----

Caspian knocks on the door to your room and you hold a mask in your hands. ''Please, let's talk''

He insists again but you don't move from the bed. 

''I don't want to talk to you Caspian, go away'' 

You are supposed to be angry when you see Caspian and Susan kiss during the night but that's not the case, you don't think about Caspian and his adventure, rather your mind only replays the moment when Peter kissed you with the mask you held.

Of course, Caspian didn't know and seeing him with Susan had given you the perfect excuse to excuse your lack of desire to see him.

You didn't want to do this to Caspian, you thought you loved him, but when Peter pulled you away from the dance to kiss you on the night you would be introduced to Caspian and it would be like an engagement, you world fell apart, the same night your boyfriend kissed Susan when he had to dance with her when he couldn't find you. 

''What's wrong with you, King?'' You say into the air, seeing the mask.

''I'm doing everything wrong.'' You force the mask into the box. ''everything wrong'' You scold yourself. 

A noise starts at your window and your neck almost breaks looking in that direction. 

Peter was coming through your window.

you squeal. ''What are you doing here?''

In a second you have Peter inches from you. ''What do you want?'' 

''Another kiss.'' He claims and kisses you, without asking permission or forgiveness. 

You want to refuse, but as soon as his lips touch yours your brain shuts down, your body gives up without a fight and you can only follow his rhythm. but then you gather strength and push him away.

''Stop, are you crazy?"

''Yes, yes, for you. ''He says throwing himself back into you. 

Manage to touch your lips before you brush it away, or well what you can

''No, no, no, you are Caspian's number one enemy, what you want is to take advantage of me...'' You throw him towards the window again. 

Peter doesn't seem to make any effort to return to your lips, cupping the back of your neck and you try not to melt.

''Stop, I don't like being shut up with a kiss'' 

His eyebrows bend. ''You love to be silenced with a kiss,'' he accuses. 

You laugh adjusting your hair. ''Who told you?''

''Look, I know you think this isn't right, but you don't love him, and I'm going to prove it to you.'' Take your face. ''I love you, and you love me''

They deflate you. ''Ha! "I don't love you at all, boy king."

Smile so hinoptic. ''Great king they tell me'' 

''don't correct me.'' You complain.

''You're leaving, you're leaving'' You try to throw him out. 

''How pretty you are'' He says, stealing a kiss from you, again. 

Your hands freeze in the air, your body sways as he wants and you only have control in your lips that follow his taste anyway. 

''No, really, go or they will discover you''

Peter smiles like a fool at your comment. ''Aww, you don't want to be discovered, you're cuter.'' He tries to touch you but you hold his hands. 

''That? It's not that... I don't want you... Go away, goodbye.'' 

''I'm leaving with one condition''

 ''Which?''

''We will see us again''

''No because... Well that's fine'' You scratch the back of your neck. ''But no..''

he shuts you up with a kiss. 

''Is it possible?''

You hear Caspian's voice again and you separate, you see Peter getting under the bed and you throw yourself on the mattress and at that moment you catch Peter's hand under your thigh without noticing it

The door opens when you bend one leg. 

''What are you doing?''

You squeak looking at him and undo your strange pose and Peter tries to remove his hand but you don't move, nor notice.

''I told you before not to come in, I'm doing my exercises.'' You raise one arm and flex your leg. 

Caspian approaches you ''My love, listen to me, I can't go to sleep like this'' He tries to explain.

You despair when you see your boyfriend so close to you and you throw a pillow at him which makes him stop. ''What do you want to talk to me? No, go away, I don't want to talk to you now"

Caspian steps back and clasps his hands. ''If I hurt you it was accidentally, forgive me''

''Well, bye.'' You throw another pillow. 

''Talk tomorrow?'' 

''Yes, tomorrow, Goodbye Caspian!''

The last pillow hits your door and falls to the floor as Caspian leaves. 

You sigh in relief. ''It was a second that I thought... '' You're rambling without seeing it. 

''The hand, my hand'' You hear it and only then do you see the situation. 

''Sorry!'' You screech, removing your body. Peter comes out from under the bed. ''What are you doing with your hand there...?'' 

Peter doesn't answer that, he just puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at you. ''Is this how you treat your boyfriends now?"

Your gaze hardens. ''Bye, you're leaving''

You demand and stand up.

''Are you going to wait for my message?''

''No, I'm not going to wait any.. emm.. goodbye.'' You look away from him. ''You're leaving, can you leave?'' 

''What do you have there?'' Peter touched your lips.

''What do I have?'' You say but before you continue Peter steals a small kiss from you and runs away. 

You laugh without grace and before I cross the window you speak.

''What time?''

Peter comes back to you and you kiss, this time without opposition. 

''Wait for it'' he says, walking away.

Peter leaves your room and you only have to sit on the edge of your bed, sighing. 

[officialstrawhat]

Rose of Dressrosa- Chapter 7

I love this chapter!!! Enjoy!

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary:

After King Riku is dethroned, Doflamingo takes you under his wing and asks you to follow only one strict rule, "do not leave the palace alone". However, your sense of adventure is too great.

Law had only one thing in mind... Revenge. And you seemed like the best way to do that.

Warnings: Betrayal, angst, fighting.

Gif is not mine. Not Edited!

Word Count: 1.6K

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

As darkness blanketed the world, a renewed sense of purpose drove you. You packed what little you could carry: a few outfits, an extra pair of shoes, and your well-worn “Tales of Grand Adventures” book, safely tucked away in your bag.

You took one last look around your bedroom, then, with a deep breath, headed to the door. But as you opened it, there stood Viola.

You wished you could say you were surprised, but a part of you knew this would happen.

"I know what you're planning to do," she hissed, stepping towards you. "Are you insane?"

“Please, don’t try to stop me.” You tried to slip past her, but she blocked the doorway, her arm stretched firmly across the frame.

“What’s going to happen when Doflamingo comes back and finds out you’re gone?” she challenged, her eyes fierce. “Do you have any idea what you’re risking?”

You avoided her gaze, not wanting to think about the consequences. It was the only way you could go through with this plan.

When you remained silent, Viola continued, “Do you not understand the situation you're in? Do you not understand the danger that comes with going against Doflamingo? I can’t always protect you.”

Anger flared in your chest, and your fists clenched. You didn’t need protection; you were old enough to make your own choices. “Why do you even care? You’re always in my business. You try to act like a sister to me, but you’re not! You’re just a sad woman with no family of her own!” The words escaped before you could stop them, and regret washed over you instantly.

Viola’s expression hardened, and after a moment she stepped aside. “Do whatever you want,” she said coldly. “I won’t fight you anymore.”

“Viola…” Tears pricked your eyes as you watched her step into the shadows of the hallway.

She paused, glancing back with a trace of sadness. “I hope you find whatever you’re looking for.”

Her words stung but you deserved it. Viola was one of the few people in Doflamingo's circle you actually trusted. But you couldn’t let yourself think about that now. You took a steadying breath and moved past her. Law was waiting for you, and there was no turning back.

Her words hit deep, but you knew you’d earned her ire. Viola was one of the few people in Doflamingo’s circle you trusted, maybe the only one. And you just rebuked her goodwill. But you couldn’t let yourself dwell on that now. Taking a steadying breath, you moved past into the hallway moving in the opposite direction of the dark-haired woman. Youre leaving this place and  Law was waiting, and there was no turning back.

OoOoOo  

The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silver glow over the abandoned tower. Shadows danced among the cracked stones as you finally reached the top, your heart racing with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. Law stood there, silhouetted against the moonlight, waiting just as he’d promised.

“How’d you make it up here alone?” you asked, moving closer.

He smirked “I have my ways. So, you're taking my offer,” he said, glancing at the bag slung over your shoulder.

“I am.” You took a steadying breath. “I want to come with you.”

Law’s gaze sharpened, a glint of something unreadable flickering in his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“More than ever. I can’t stay hidden in Dressrosa forever.” Saying it aloud made you feel free, lighter even.

Law took a step closer, his face inches from yours, his expression intense. “Then let’s not waste any time.”

His tattooed hands lifted to frame your face, fingers gentle against your skin. You felt your heart stutter. Was he going to kiss you? You closed your eyes, waiting for his lips to meet yours. But the warmth never came.

“Room.”

Your eyes flew open, a faint blue shield forming around the top of the tower.

“Law… what are you doing?” Your voice trembled as you instinctively took a step back.

“Sorry,” he murmured, his tone disturbingly calm. “I needed you to trust me. I need to know what Doflamingo is planning.”

Realization hit you like a punch to the gut. “You never planned to take me with you.”

A flicker of regret crossed his face, but it vanished quickly. “I did what I had to. Too much is at stake to stop now,” he said quietly, his gaze hardening. “ Now stand still, and this won’t hurt.”

He moved closer, and you reacted instinctively. With a swift motion, you tipped your soil bracelets, spilling their contents as you raised your hand. Vines surged from the rooftop, forming a thick wall of ivy between you and him, bristling with sharp thorns.

He stopped, eyeing the wall with faint amusement. “Impressive.” With a quick toss of a coin, he called, “Shambles.”

A powerful tug wrenched at you, and suddenly your surroundings shifted. His blade was already coming down as you dove, rolling over the stony roof just in time to evade his strike. He closed the distance, sword flashing toward you, but a thick vine shot up to intercept, absorbing the blow. Drawing on every ounce of your strength, you unleashed an onslaught of thorny vines to drive him back.

He spun, deflecting your attacks, but they kept coming. One vine whipped around, catching his arm, he cursed as he stumbled back.

“I didn’t think you actually knew how to fight,” he said, slashing through the plants.

Anger flared in your chest. “You’re just some scumbag after the crown. And if you think you can use me to get it, you’re wrong!”

He took a step back, his voice soft, almost as if speaking to himself. “Believe what you want. But I will defeat Doflamigo.”

You were done listening. It was time to end this. “Opituna! Infest!” you shouted, and out of the scattered soil a massive cactus tree rose, growing limbs as sharp as razors. 

“Is that all you’ve got?” he mocked, then he realized what you had done. The mountain of cacti moved as though it had legs and arms. It looked down at him with a faceless head and with its prickly arm swung now at him with a powerful blow. 

Law’s eyes widened as he dodged, the cactus claw narrowly missing him. But his momentary distraction allowed you to bolt toward the blue shield. You beat against it, frustration mounting as the barrier held firm.

“Nice trick.” His voice was close behind. You turned to see him, breathing heavily. You were satisfied that his good-looking face was scratched and bloodied. With a renewed burst of energy, Law charged, swinging his sword.

You ducked, twisting your wrist to send another wave of roots surging toward his legs. He leapt over them, but his split-second shift in focus was all you needed. You called forth a burst of flowers, petals sharp and luminous, exploding into a shower of color that filled the air between you. He hesitated, momentarily blinded, and you seized the moment. You lunged, summoning thick vines to surge forward and ensnare him. They wrapped around his arms and legs, binding him and lifting him up.

“It’s over,” you said, voice shaking with both exhaustion and defiance.

But Law wasn’t finished. With a grunt, he sliced through the vines with a precise stroke freeing one hand. “Shambles.”

Your vision blurred as the familiar pull took you. In an instant, you found yourself ensnared in your own vines, suspended in midair.

“You were saying?” he asked, breathing heavily.

When you freed yourself Law surged forward, pressing his hand against your back. Pain exploded through your chest as a cube materialized, and you collapsed to the ground, gasping for air.

What… just happened?

Footsteps neared, and Law knelt beside you, casually moving strands of hair from your face as he picked up the cube. 

“W-what” you managed to voice.

“It’s your heart,” he said coolly, watching your horrified expression.

Weakly, you reached out, but he pulled the cube away. “I think I’ll hold onto it.”

“Fuck you!” you rasped out. “Give it back!”

He smirked, squeezing the cube lightly. The pain was immediate, sharp, and overwhelming. 

“I’ll give it back—when you do something for me.” He tsked at your defiance. “Now, is Doflamingo on this island?”

“Go to hell!” you spat.

Another squeeze, and you screamed, pain burning your throat.

“Is he here on this island?” he repeated, tone icy.

This time, you weakly shook your head, relieved as the pain stopped.

Law nodded thoughtfully. “What does he want with Punk Hazard?”

“What…?”

He squeezed again, the agony quick and searing. “My crew tells me some of Doflamingo’s lackeys are sniffing around there. It’s been abandoned for years—why is he suddenly interested?”

“I don’t know,” you gasped. “He doesn’t tell me anything about his business.”

He studied you, brow furrowing. “Then why does he keep you around?”

“Is this interrogation over?” you managed to say viciously, eyes narrowing “If you don't mind I'd like to go.”

Law stood, releasing his shield with a flick of his hand. “You can go,” he said. “But this isn’t over. You’re going back to the palace and finding out what I need to know” He tucked your heart into his jacket pocket, smirking down at you. “I’ll hold onto this until you do. See ya ‘round Y/N”

With that, he turned and walked away as his room dematerialized, leaving you alone in the dark atop the tower, the weight of his betrayal pressing down on you like an anchor as you lost consciousness.

[radio-navlee]

Don’t Be Such a Jerk! (Draft)

Draft notes:

-Characters out of character

-NOT FINISHED PRODUCT!!

-outline of what future Fic will be about

-not my best work

-story line so far doesn’t make sense

-enjoy

(GIF goes here)

Lee: Jax

Ler: Ragatha

(summary here, hurt to comfort prompt)

(author note?)

WARNING!!!⚠️: TICKLE FIC!! self harm?(maybe)

Many people would describe their favorite lovable bunny rabbit as; jerk, asshole, annoying, and maybe even a dumb bunny. But Jax never saw himself as that, he saw himself as a rabbit who just knew what was really happening. The truth is, he just needs people to talk too.

Sure he finds it funny to pick on people to get a funny reaction here or there. But usually he’s just mad, mad that he can’t let anything out in fear of ruining the way people see him.

While strolling through the park outside the tent, Ragatha thought back right after their adventure. Caine did his speech, somebody made a comment, and everybody spilt up. Gangle went to her room, Pomni went exploring, Kinger went to find bugs or whatever, (Ragatha didn’t pay attention, she heard bugs and dipped) Zooble went back to their room as well, and Jax he… well… Ragatha forgot where he went, it was like he vanished as soon as they got back.

Strange, what a weird thing Jax would do. I don’t think Ragatha even remembers seeing him at Caine speech. As Ragatha connected the dots, trying to figure out why Jax was missing, she wondered father and father away from the tent. In the distance, she could see somebody huddled under a tree, laughing? No that’s not right, was it shaking? Anyways, she decided to get closer to see what it was about when she suddenly realized a familiar shape. Purple skin, bunny ears, pink overalls…. Is that Jax?

Jax on the other hand was not having such a great time. He tugged at his ears and had his knees up to his chest, he gulped air until he started coughing. He eyes watered with tears and lost in his own thoughts, he mumbled a mumble to himself only probably dogs could understand. His voice cracked with every groan he let out, and he was practically kicking up dirt with his feet.

With Ragatha getting closer he looked over to see a blue dressed red head coming closer, he ignored it until he heard

“JAX?” Shouted by Ragatha, causing him to snap back into reality. With Ragatha 3 feet in front of him now, he touched his face slowly whipping his tears, he regulated his breathing, and looked up.

“Jax? Are you ok?” The rag doll asked, holding out a hand. Jax looked mortified shaking his head.

“No, no, no… back up!” He insisted

“Jax I want to help!” Ragatha stepped closer

“Don’t come closer! I mean it!” Jax put his hands up to block her but it was no use as Ragatha sat infront of Jax.

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

“No! I mean- why am I talking to you!” Jax questioned

“Jax just open up!”

“I’m leaving!” Jax went to get up but-

“No Jax!” Ragatha grabbed and pulled his arm down. He sat cross cross Apple sauce infront of her

“Tell me what happened, I don’t think I would let my self brush this off!”

“Doll! Let me go it was nothing!” Jax furrowed his brows tugging at his arm

“Jax if you tell me what wrong I’ll leave you alone!”

“NO LET GO!”

Lord help Ragatha, she knew Jax was stubborn but jeez! Going back and forth with “Tell me!” And “No!”s Ragatha felt as she was just wasting time.

“You don’t understand!”

“I promise I will!” Finally, Jax opened up!

“I can’t believe I’m still talking to you!” Jax groaned

“Just spill!” Ragatha begged

“It’s stupid, but I… I- I can’t regulate my mind, my thoughts, everything I think get piled up in my brain, what little brain I have left and..” Jax voice cracked, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“It feels like I can’t think straight, all the things I say takes up so much effort to not come out in a jumbly mess, it’s so tiring..” Jax folded up his knees to his chest, laying his aching head against his knees and bringing his hands up to, again, tug on his ears.

“Jax, stop that!” Ragatha swatted at his fidgeting hands

“No, it feels good!” He raised his head back up to yell at her

“Jax the base of your ears are red! It looks like it hurts if anything!” Ragatha raised her hands from her lap to massage the base.

“..No!” Jax dodged the hands, putting his head back down into his knees. Letting out a soft cry, Ragatha stopped and pulled him into a hug.

Jax’s soft cry stopped, his eye widened,

“Stohop!” He cried

“No Jax”

“Please!”

“My answer is still a no!” God, has Jax never been hugged in his life? Why is he acting like this?

“Let me goho! (Inhale) let me go!” His cry’s stopped turning into a sob. Ragatha held his head close to her chest and used a free hand to pet his head

“Shhh, Jax I understand how you’re feeling, just let it out.” Ragatha soothed

“Phlehehease, (inhale) don’t treat me like this!” Jax was practically in broken pieces, sobbing, tugging on his pants, resisting the hug,

“Jax…” Ragatha whispered

Jax stoped complaining, now he was just sobbing

“It’s going to be ok!” Ragatha held his head and looked into his eyes,

“I don’t- I don’t wanna be like- (inhale) -like this! I wanna be normal! I don’t wanna cry!” Jax pleaded

“I know Jax, I know.”

“Mahake it stop!” Jax whined eventually just giving into the hug and leaning into the rag doll. Ragatha has never seen Jax so emotionally embarrassed in her life, she wished he wasn’t such a jerk the rest of the time.

“Jax there’s no need to feel embarrassed,”

“Nooo! Don’t tahalk!” Jax whined like a sad toddler

“Look Jax, now that I know you’re hurting, so I now empathize with you. I also can see right through you, Jax, you are probably only a jerk to others because you don’t want people to think you have feelings. Playing pranks and being mean to others just so you don’t expose yourself as emotionally immature.” Ragatha explained

“No! Please just stop talking! I don’t want to hear it!” Jax covered his ears with his hands and shut his eyes causing the remaining tears to fall from his face.

“Oh Jax,” Ragatha frowned, stroking the top of his head

Once Jax knew she wasn’t explaining his life decisions, he un cupped his ears and scratched at the red inflamed bases. Ragatha noticed this quickly and softly slapped at his hands,

“Jax’s I already told you to stop doing that!” Ragatha held his wrists

“Nggh! Let me- ugh! Let me do it!” Jax struggled against the grab

“Jax no you’re just hurting your self!” Ragatha said as she let go of Jax’s wrist and used her own hands to try to help Jax shake the fidgety feeling in his ears.

The sudden touch to his raw ears made Jax flinch a tad. Relaxing to the touch after a while until-

“Eh- Wahait!” Jax went to reach for the dolls hands and she moved up from her original spot

“What?”

“Doholl! Dohont change your spoAH!” Jax tweaked as Ragatha tested out new information and slightly tickled the tops of his ears

“ThahHAT wohorSE!!”

“Heh, you should laugh more Jax!” Ragatha said in amusement.

“Shuhut ihit!”

“Noho! Reheally! You have such a nice laugh, you need to use it more!” She chuckled

“GahaHAHa!!” Jax squirmed from compliments

Ragatha hummed above Jax watching his nose scrunch up every now and then, little barely noticeable snorts coming from it, as he hugged himself. With that the sun flipped with the moon and it was time for everyone to head back to the circus tent.

“Ohok ohok! Let’s go!” Jax giggled

“Jax…. Do you come here often?” Ragatha sighed

“What?”

“Is this your place to go to when you feel like what you felt earlier?”

“I’d rather not talk about that doll face,” Jax growled

“Jax, it’s just a question”

“I don’t need you to baby me!” Jax grumped, back to his usual self I see.

“whatever Jax, just know I’m here if you need to talk, ok?”

“Fine! Just don’t tell anybody about this!” He glared

“Your feelings are safe with me” Ragatha crossed her arms, as they both headed back to the tent.

(DRAFT! Which means they may be a little out of character🥲)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: April 2024

oh my god you guys I've read SO MUCH this month!!! I got BIG into reread N.K. Jemisin's tremendous Broken Earth trilogy and it's been jaw-dropping, and I have been reading a HEAP of comics and manga a

on the extremely off chance there's anyone following me who doesn't think comics, manga, graphic novels, etc don't count as "real reading" lmao lol get out of here??? you're on the Reading 1000s of Pages of Old Batman Comics blog. go feel the whimsy of reading a whole graphic novel in one afternoon and maybe you'll calm down.

ANYWAY!!! what have we been reading?

Earthdivers Vol. 1: Kill Columbus (Stephen Graham Jones, Davide Gianfelice, Joana Lafuente, 2023) - Stephen Graham Jones is one of my all-time favorite authors, and I was super excited to check out his first comic series. Earthdivers takes place in the wasteland of the 22nd century, where four Native survivors have hatched a plan to try to stop the disasters that are killing the world: use a time-travelling cave to send one of their number back in time to kill Columbus before he can launch the colonization of North America. it's a one-way trip, and the time traveler will have to be ruthless to achieve their goal. beyond the attention-grabbing hook of killing Columbus, this story dives (you see what I did there) deep into an exploration of what it means to sacrifice everything for a cause and find the will to be ruthless in pursuit of the greater good. I'm not 100% sure I tracked all of the twisting threads of time travel in this first volume, but the hook is compelling and Gianfelice's art is beautiful, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the series progress!

Spoiler Alert (Olivia Dade, 2020) - at this point I've written 8000+ words about this book on my patreon and it's becoming difficult to figure out what else to say or how to say it briefly. this book ties itself up in knots with its contrivances and makes both of its protagonists look dumb in the process. I don't like either of these people but - spoiler alert! - I still think April can and should do better. Olivia Dade please call me I just want to talk.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 1-3 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Yen Press, 2017) - I don't need to explain Dungeon Meshi. surely you've seen the gifs of Dungeon Meshi. all that matters is that I fucking love Dungeon Meshi, this shit rules and it's going to be so hard to hold off on reading Volume 4 while I try to prioritize some other books first. this world is great, the characters are a delight and a joy, and the way that Kui is so fascinated by the food and biology and exploration of adventurer fantasy tropes in her world makes my brain go wheeeeeeeeee!!! I'm having so much fun.

The Fifth Season (N.K. Jemisin, 2015) - historically I've very seldom reread books, but I'm starting to think that I need to change my stance on that. revisiting the Fifth Season years after I first read it, with the time to really enjoy it and also the maturity and perspective to actually appreciate what Jemisin is cooking, has enhanced the experience immeasurably. a thing that really struck me this time was how artfully Jemisin depicts the way orogenes are conditioned and groomed from the jump to be subservient and scared and willing to settle for life at the margins of society; it's not something that I could totally understand the nuances of when I read this book fresh out of my first year of college. this novel and its sequels are so brilliantly devastating, I cannot say enough great things about them.

My Pancreas Broke, But My Life Got Better (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2022) - I did it, I'm officially caught up on all of Nagata's works that have been translated into English! and man, I'm still worried about her. the experience of reading My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness hasn't quite been replicated for me; I think that was a once in a lifetime event, although I've certainly found a lot that I relate to in Nagata's subsequent struggles to sort of out anxiety, independence, art, and figuring out what kind of relationships she event wants to have in her life. at this point I feel like I'm just reading the illustrated life updates from a friend I haven't seen in a long time who stresses me out because her life is a mess. which is still interesting! but god I hope something good happens to this woman soon.

The Obelisk Gate (N.K. Jemisin, 2016) - The Fifth Season is a book about the end of the world and of one woman's personal apocalypses that happened prior to that. its sequel, the Obelisk Gate, is a book that's extremely preoccupied with the tedium of figuring out how to run a halfway-functioning society in the midst of the apocalypse, which is genuinely fascinating stuff. and it's also a book about the fear and desperation and sheer levels of exhaustion that might drive someone to decide that, fuck it, maybe the world should end and we should be done with all of this, actually. it's also a book about devotion and dependence and destruction and devouring people you love in a VERY literal way, which it must be said is pretty sexy. the stuff that pops off between Essun and Hoa in this book makes me think of Octavia Butler in the best way; I think she would have adored them. I'm so excited to get to the final book and see how this all pays off, because the first time I read it I barely understood a single goddamn thing that was happening.

I Hate This Place Vol. 1-2 (Kyle Starks, Artyom Toplin, Lee Loughridge, 2022-2023) - a short and spooky comic series that wraps up in two tight little volumes. I have some gripes with the pacing, but it makes for a fun afternoon read. a mid-tier streaming service is going to adapt this into a live action series within a couple of years, mark my worms. personally I'm fancasting Mackenzie Davis as Gabby and Samira Wiley as Trudy.

[therobotmonster]

In honor of he who died and rose after three days in the grave and now grants life ever lasting to his followers I thought it only right I got into the spirit once. So Dracula, this one's for you:

Just look at it.

You have what appears to be (and is) an accountant being menaced by boobalicious vampire women twice his size, so he's got Ethan Winters beaten to the punch by 34 years. But don't be fooled. One glance into his 30-yard stare and its obvious why only Mr. Weems can stop these sinister She-Vampires:

Weems is dead on the inside yet still living, where the she-vampires are animated from within with life, while dead.

He is their antithesis.

So yeah, a pile of jank with a fun name crossed my path, and now you all have to hear about it. If you're not hitting 'J', you have no one to blame but yourself.

Released on a scad of systems, but mostly the ZX Spectrum and the C64, The Astonishing Adventures of Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires is a sort of 'Gauntroidvania'. It's also trying to push the limits of how titillating a pre-NES era game could be, though the C64 port's interface missed that memo.

The hacked c64 version was the one I played, but giantbomb had a lot of gifs from the ZX verison that I've upscaled for demonstration purposes.

The only bit of story is from the back package. Weems wants to feel something, so he's decided to take on the Great She-Vampire or die in her buxom grasp. Fair.

This game is not recommended for people with epilepsy, dignity, or in general.

Mr. Weems has a garlic gun to defend his ever-dropping blood supply (vampire hunter is an odd professon with anemia) and destroy the baddies...

All three of them, which are all introduced on the first screen!

You've got bats, they pop out of pots and attack you.

The manual says these guys are Frankenstein's' monsters, but they're clearly the giant from Twin Peaks trying to warn you that you've bought a dud.

On the C64, the lesser she-vampires are clearly based on Dracula's brides, whereas on the ZX, they're more like ghosts with big naturals.

Which means that to get both kinds of vampire babe from the secondary cover, you'd have to buy a cassette for your c64, and and for your ZX. And I don't mean a cartridge, I mean a, Cassette tape.

If you manage to stalk your way all the way to the end and find the gear you need to destroy her, the Great She-Vampire awaits:

There's no boss fight, but there is a 1 pixel nip, at least on the ZX spectrum.

From there you book it back the way you came, only every screen now has a she-vampire chasing you in a murderous rage. Make it out, and you win. Or maybe you didn't, because just like the Dungeon of Fear and Hunger, you can never really escape Mr. Weems & the She-Vampires.

Only Weems increases the immersion by truamatizing you, the player. Mr. Weems is fine. You don't have to worry about the Weems.

So...

Is it a good game?

Not remotely, but that isn't the point in the slightest.

It's temping to say this is the Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies of video games, but that's not quite right. Weems has promise and ISCWSLaBMUZ doesn't make promises. It issues threats.

Mr. Weems has the charm of a concept that's all potential and zero execution. A dead-eyed accountant gunning his way in a Gauntlet-esq blitz through a vampire-babe infested castle is a fun idea, more-so with all the secret passages and 'gather items and backtrack to the boss' aspect. It's just everything else that goes wrong.

I mean, who doesn't want to hunt the Great She-Vampire to her penthouse for a good staking, I ask you?

[nacediscord]

Challenge and Rules

Hello and welcome to the HAND Remix: Burning Bride Edition! We're glad you're here, but we bet you have questions. Lucky you, we've got answers! Check out our FAQ below and feel free to ask any additional questions that you have. We're here to be your guides on this ghostly adventure. As long as you promise not to torch us!

Okay. I'm intrigued. What the heck is going on here?

This is a little thing we like to call the HAND Remix: Burning Bride Edition. The TLDR version is that you take a fanwork you yourself have previously created and you remix it to include Burning Bride vibes. Then between August 20th and 22nd, we'll ask you to publish it to our AO3 collection (if it's fic) and/or wherever you normally publish your stuff. We'll add it to our Tumblr round up post, along with a link to your original fanwork so everyone can enjoy both. Then boom, the whole fandom gets a fun little treat just in time for Nancy's (real) birthday!

For more info, keep reading...

What is a remix?

A fanworks remix is a lot like a music remix - you take something already created and change parts of it around to create something new! It is based on the original "We Invented The Remix" challenge. The HAND version aims to give the NACE and Nancy Drew CW fandom the chance to expand their horizons by remixing one of their own fanworks. Fanfic, fanart, videos, gif sets - anything goes! As long as you are remixing your own work, it's fair game! And yes, you can absolutely remix one kind of fanwork into any other kind of fanwork, if you'd like. Fanlore has a great list of Techniques and Conventions you can use for inspiration. A good question to start with is, "If I were creating this fanwork now, how would I add a Burning Bride feel to it?" Then play around and have fun! We can't wait to see what you come up with!

Does this remix have a theme?

Why, yes! Funny you should ask. If you haven't heard, it's pretty freaking hot for a lot of people right now. And what does being hot make us think of over in the HAND Discord server? Lust Butterflies! So what better way for you to remix your fanworks than to give them a little taste of one of our favorite ND episodes - The Burning Bride. Take this however you want - go wild! Just give your work Burning Bride vibes of some kind, and it totally counts.

Does "Burning Bride vibes" mean that my work has to be explicit? I'm not comfortable with that.

Absolutely not! We want you to take inspiration from absolutely anything that this episode has to offer. Maybe instead of focusing on Nancy being "boy-crazy," you want to incorporate themes of repression or control. Isn't that what the Lust Dress represented, after all? Or maybe you find a spark of inspiration in the way the Crew all comes together to help Nancy when she's under some kind of supernatural influence. Or you follow George's storyline from the episode instead. The world is your (powdered) oyster (pearl)! All we ask is that you try to incorporate something from the episode that fits the theme.

When is this due?

You will have approximately 5 weeks to work on your remix if you want to include it in our collection. So the posting window will be from August 20th - August 22nd, 2024. 

Where do I post my work when it's finished?

If it's fic, please add it to our AO3 Collection. If you remix your art or a video or something else and post it to Tumblr or Twitter or another platform, just please make sure to drop a link to it either in the remix channel in HAND or as a reply to our Tumblr post so that we can include it in our roundup at the end of the event!

Still thinking about how to get started? Come join us in the HAND Discord Server for brainstorming and more!

[lavendertales]

Sweet lies: EPILOGUE

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: two years later, the group's lives are drastically changed.

word count: 1.5k

A/N: big thank you to everyone who's commented, reblogged and supported this series!! ❤️ I loved sharing this personal story with you all and I thank you for all the love.

gif: @uuuhshiny

series masterlist | AO3

TWO YEARS LATER

“Told you we’d be late,” you scold him, walking hand in hand through the crowd.

“It’s only ten minutes. It’s called being fashionably late.”

“Well, you’re fashionably impossible.”

Frankie stops, smiling mischievously your way until inevitably you break into a smile yourself. He pecks your lips, grazing your cheek.

“You know this is your fault, really,” he tells you sweetly.

You make a shocked face, breaking free from his touch. “How is it my fault?!”

“Who told you to wear one of my favorite shirts?”

“I couldn’t find my red t-shirt and I was doing dishes!”

“I had no choice but to be all over you. It was impossible not to.”

You shake your head, the smile never leaving your lips, even as you continuously press your lips against his, even in the middle of all the people around you.

“Okay, so we’re a little late,” you cave in. “What’s the harm?”

“Glad you agree. There is no harm. I figured we’ve both done a lot of waiting.”

You notice someone waving at you frantically, and you realize it’s Rose. Excited, you both rush towards her, hugging her, and then Santiago. You then notice everyone else, and offer the appropriate greetings and hugs.

“How are you feeling, Mia?” you ask, careful how you move around her.

She presses a hand on her belly, smiling. “Excited for this to be over.”

“That’s what you get for having unprotected sex with the Ironhead,” you all hear Santiago’s comment, and you all burst into laughter.

All but Will, who decides to glare menacingly at Santiago.

“Don’t get me wrong, as much as I enjoyed the morning sickness and swollen feet, I am ready to meet our baby boy.”

“Have you decided on a name yet?”

“It’s a tie between Noah and Jordan.”

“Both are great.”

“I guess we’ll see when he gets here. Two weeks left.”

“You know, I hear Ben is also a good name. Benjamin, if you will. As a middle name, of course. We don’t want two Benny’s in this household.”

Mia chuckles, looking over at Will for some sort of confirmation, but the latter throws his brother the same glare as he did Santiago.

“What?” Benny asks him. “So I’m excited to be an uncle, sue me!”

“Don’t worry, once I figure out a way how to or why, I will.”

“How are you guys doing?” Emily asks you and Frankie.

The two of you exchange a look, your cheeks still flushed from the adventurous time you shared roughly half an hour ago.

“Good, good!” you answer. “We’re glad to be out of the house.”

“First time in months,” Frankie adds.

“Thank goodness our babysitter, Rebecca, could make it today.”

“Can’t believe Ava is two years old.”

“Tell me about it!”

“Now see, that’s what you get too for having unprotected sex with Fish,” Santiago adds.

Frankie does more than a simple glare: he follows his friend around, pointing a finger at him and making threats that do nothing more but cause the group a big chuckle.

“Don’t mind him, he’s just waiting for the right moment to throw in everyone’s faces that we traveled in ten different countries in Europe and had very safe sex in all of them,” Rose says, causing the girls to giggle.

“I hope that’s all he’s gonna throw in our faces,” you add.

“Okay but seriously now, how are you guys doing?” Emily asks.

“We’re good, honestly. It’s been… crazy. Good kind of crazy. I mean, not only did Frankie and I get together, finally, but we’re parents. We have a daughter! It’s crazy!”

“It’s normal, honey,” Rose reminds you. “You’ve been through so much and now you finally get your happy ending and it feels surreal to you. It kind of makes me cry.”

“Happy cry?”

“Of course happy cry, you’re my best friend, you idiot!”

You chuckle, taking the plate with the sandwich and salad that Emily hands you. You settle to listen to Rose’s stories about her and Santiago’s travels to Europe over the past four months, then you listen to everything Emily has to tell you about her and Benny’s house shopping and how they may have found “the one”.

Then, you see a couple headed towards your group.

Andrea and Mark make their way to all of you. Everyone goes out of their way to salute the couple, inviting them to sit down on one of the blankets splayed on the grass. Andrea unloads the basket she brought, filed with fruit and other snacks. When she sees you, she goes in for a hug that you gladly reciprocate.

“Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages,” she tells you.

“Since the wedding, actually. Whose fault is it for spending a month away?”

Andrea shrugs. “It was a great honeymoon package!”

You chuckle, seeing Frankie shaking hands with Mark. For whatever reason, you hold your breath, as if that will improve things. But the guys get along great, engaging into an immediate discussion.

“How are things with your parents?” you ask Andrea instead.

Andrea takes a deep breath, then clears her throat. The subject is still a bit sensitive, you notice, and you instantly regret the question.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” you say.

“No, no, it’s fine! It wasn’t easy at first, as you recall—“

“Yeaaaah.”

“But after I basically shouted at them that I wanna live my life my own way, not according to their plan… ironically, that’s when they calmed down. I think it helped them realize that I’m not a helpless kid, either. I mean, I’m doing pretty well, aren’t I?”

You smile at her. “You’re a hot-shot dermatologist with a great husband, great friends and a great apartment. Hell yeah!”

Andrea chuckles, glaring at Frankie and Mark, still talking.

“Looks like things worked out pretty well for all of us, huh?” she asks.

“Looks so.”

“You know, in all the years Frankie and I have been together, he’s never looked at me the way he looks at you.”

You frown at her. “Come on…”

“I’m serious! I mean, sure, it was half ‘I like you a lot’ and half ‘I also gotta stick with you to get my parents off my back’, but still.”

“And the way Mark looks at you… I see you really love each other.”

She smiles rather flustered. “We do.”

“And the wedding was beautiful!”

“Oh, by the way, how would you and Frankie feel about joining us for dinner next week?”

“As long as you don’t think it’s awkward.”

“Pshhh, what’s awkward? My ex fiancé and his current wife having dinner with me and my current husband? Please!”

You laugh wholeheartedly. “You’re right, nothing awkward. You know, if it were anyone else, I doubt I would’ve been able to be friends with you or Mark. But you’re just… too cool.”

“Stop it, come on! I don’t think I truly thanked you.”

“Why?”

She inhales sharply, smiling sincerely at you.

“You’re what gave Frankie and I courage to end things. Well, more him than me. But I do want to thank you for coming back here and basically unwrapping the blindfolds we had on this whole time.”

“Ever the drama lover,” a male voice coos.

You notice Mark coming over, leaning and pressing a kiss onto Andrea’s forehead.

“Oh, how’s the baby doing?!” Andrea asks enthusiastically. “Can’t believe I forgot to ask about her!”

“She’s fine. She’s with the babysitter this afternoon. We wanted to bring her, but she was exhausted so we figured we come here alone.”

“What did I miss?”

Frankie sits next to you, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek, nothing more. You look around, smiling at the sight of your friends’ banter and their happy faces. You finally feel content, like you’ve won the race you’ve unknowingly been participating in for over a decade.

“Nothing. I’m glad you’re here,” you whisper to him.

“Don’t start something else,” he warns.

You raise your brows. “Or?”

“Or… gonna have to show you when we get home.”

You feel your cheeks burn, but you keep it to yourself. You’ve gotten so used to everyone knowing about you and Frankie and having things out in the open that keeping some things to yourself feels taboo to a certain extent.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Francisco,” you warn back.

“Or what?”

“You’ll see.”

“Keep it in your pants, will ya?” Santiago murmurs as he’s walking by.

Frankie makes a face and threatens his friend some more, to which you chuckle. You finally feel at peace, happy.

Like you got everything you’ve ever wanted.

previous

[enriquemzn262]

TW: weeb shit

So, after the absolute bore that was the last season for me, with 0 series that got my attention (Helk almost did, but I forgot about it and never managed to catch up), I decided to see what this new season brought, and these are the ones that caught my eye:

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End

I’m a big fan of the manga, after discovering it around two years ago, and the adaptation, which so far has released 5 episodes, has been absolutely stunning, elevating an already superb story with its beautiful animation.

Undead Unluck

I used to follow the manga back when it began, but ended up dropping it about a year ago because it sorta became a mess story-wise. I still gave the first episode a try, and man if it reminded me why I actually liked this series to begin with! Plus it’s also gorgeously animated, and the VA for Andy is absolutely killing it, hopefully with this I can be motivated to actually catch up to the story.

Under Ninja

(couldn’t find a GIF)

I tried the manga a while back, the premise of a group of modern-day ninjas living in the shadows of our world sounded fascinating, but when in the first (second?) chapter, the MC was given an uniform and told to infiltrate a fucking HIGH SCHOOL, my exact reaction was

So I never went past beyond that part, but out of curiosity I still gave the anime a shot, and man, they know how to make an impressive first episode, jumping from a place months in the future to that very first chapter, and not gonna lie, I’m now actually interested, so I’ll be staying.

Uma Musume season 3

I like them racing horse girls, it’s a stupid premise played completely straight, and it somehow gets better with each passing season.

Goblin Slayer season 2

Big fan of this series for a good while now, and it’s great to finally see its return, a pity it began with one of the weakest arcs of the manga imo, the one with the screaming little brat that someone should have beaten up from the start, but it’s still a good story with a great ending, and looking at the trailer, it will also cover the ongoing story of the manga, basically catching up to the light novel I have yet to try.

My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer

(Fucking long name man)

Isekai in everything but name, the animation is choppy yet serviceable so I’m giving it a go, and I do like the idea of a daughter-father bonding story, but man if I ever see a hint of romance in it, since they’re adoptive family, I’m dropping this shit and will never give another shot to any generic fantasy anime ever again.

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump No.5

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! ! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today I’m talking whump with the wonderful @painsandconfusion! 

So good to have you here today, @painsandconfusion! Tell us a fun fact about yourself!

I'm a lawyer but don't seem like a lawyer at all - everyon'es always confused when I say so. I'm a fan of jumping between fluffy pink dresses, standard hipster vibes, emo styles, and who knows what else. It's different every day. I just like variety!

What does whump mean to you?

Oh dear, tricky to answer...

Whump is when a character is at their highest stress point (or...at least higher than average). I suffer from severe and vivid nightmares, but I found out that when I write whump, I can process my fears and anxieties through those characters and their experiences. I can only go about two weeks without writing before the nightmares start again. It's kinda amazing to see just how effective and healthy it is for me. I live vicariously through my whumpees for a moment, and they help my brain keep its shit together. Then I get to meet all these lovely people online and it just makes my heart so happy!

Wow, that’s really great to hear! Whump can be really cathartic at times. How did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I think this is a standard story, but I discovered the hero x villain community first, and it wasn't /quite/ my cup of tea, but it was close. After I saw a few people reblogging things with #whump, I checked it out. 

I have a vivid memory of skipping class for the first time in my life, just sitting in my apartment, all but crying as I scrolled through everything. I was so relieved to find that I wasn't alone. I spent so much of my life hating myself and hating whumperflies and hating that I was drawn to violence and not understanding why. After I found this community I felt so much more at home. 

I made a blog and started reblogging.

Then of course, I relapsed into hating myself and deleted it.

Then I made another. Started posting gifs I made from my favorite whumpy movies.

The kink community kinda took it over - which is fine and lovely and I'm happy to share content, but....they were the only ones who saw my blog. So everything I made was taken in a way I didn't mean and I felt very isolated and unheard.

So I deleted it again.

A couple years ago, I tried again. I started just reblogging, then I impulsively added to a prompt list in one of my reblogs and people really liked it? So I made more. And more and more and more- eventually I started posting scenes, and I've been having a lovely time here ever since! 

Do you think your view on whump has changed since you joined? Are there tropes you now love/hate that you didn't at first? 

Absolutely. Like. Wow so much. I used to dislike pain a lot and only enjoy the fear leading up to it. While I still prefer the suspense, nothing really squicks me out anymore. I used to hate pet whump but now I'm a fan. 

I have started making whump art as of late, which has been a fun new adventure! I picked it up almost solely because there's so many fantastic writers in this community who deserve some good fanart. I'm having fun working through a list of my favorite creators!

Tell us about your favourite whump trope!

Dear goodness, do I love a chin tilt.

No no...hmmm.....I get to run wild with this question and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Muahhahahhaaaaaaaa~

Okay so. Picture this.

Whumpee stumbling slowly backward, breath catching in their throat and burning at their lungs. Their feet drag against the ground as they stare up at Whumper, eyes shaking and sparkling with tears that cling to their lashes, refusing to fall. Not /quite/ yet. 

Whumper strokes a knuckle down their cheek, drawing a twitch - not quite a flinch, no no, Whumpee wouldn't dare to pull away. Whumper's hand flips softly as it reaches their jaw, pressing to their throat instead.

Whumpee finally lets a sound pass their lips, a soft whimper as their back hits the wall. The momentum topples the wetness from their lashes, and Whumper's eyes roam down to follow them as they soak hot into the fabric of Whumpee's shirt. 

Whumper's hand turns up just /once/ more, curling a finger under Whumpee's chin to tip their head up, drawing hiding eyes back into place.

Then they say something whumpy, I guess - you get the picture.

LOVE that shit. 

Intimate whumpers? Slow pacing? Vivid sensation? Yes!

Absolutely loving the detail in that! It’s all about the sensations! And speaking of favourites, do you want to share a piece you've written?

Hard Question!

First one that comes to mind is The Party. It's one of my favorites because my hands were shaking so hard while writing it. It was a great way to kick off that event (@thewhumperssoiree) which I'm inadvertently yet shamelessly plugging by answering with that piece I guess! It's very very fun, I loved what that piece created. Everyone who wrote for it did such a great job! (Event is still open, I don’t know why I'm talking about it in past tense)

Do you have a standard writing style/routine or does it vary?

I absolutely change up my paragraph style depending on the intensity of the scene or the place in the scene. I'm a big fan of elaborating and writing moment to moment so the oc's sensations and emotions bleed into the reader. I don't write much on visuals at all - almost entirely on sensation, which I think works well in this medium.

When I'm writing, I kinda forget everything else exists, so I don't have food or drink or if I do, it's neglected. If anyone tries to talk to me, tough luck to them, I'm in the Write Zone and I cannot hear them!

I write solely when inspiration strikes which.......is a lot!

Is there a noticeable difference in how easily you write things? Do the words always flow or do you have to beat them out sometimes?

There's characters who don't get in my head nearly as easily, and ones that are effortless. Getting fucking Alec in my head? Impossible. He's a bitch, then does bitch things once there. Ethan? Dream. Miracle boy. So easy to write that emo little shit. For clarification, the seven chapters of Alec's series vs the thirty of Ethan's. Alec is a bitch. End of story.

But, I also do much better describing little moments rather than full scenes. I'm good at scenes, but it takes so many spoons. Hence why I have three hundred or so random drabble posts or lists, but only like fifty total from my series. It just takes more effort to have to think about plot and pacing and all that good stuff. 

Fun? Yes. 

But hard.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment? Finalising the final chapter of your series? Starting a new au? Trying a different style of writing/pov? Revisiting fanfiction? Maybe you've really gotten into poetry....

Oh dear goodness, I'm working on everything all at once and I need to stop!

I also need to roleplay less and write more for you lovelies! I’m so sorry I’m just really distractible…

Give us some writing advice. Bless us with your wisdom!

I have posts for this but:

1. Keep your descriptions to the textured senses. Less visuals, more sensation. Caretaker has brown hair? So what? Tell me about how Caretaker's hair curled at the ends, just barely tickling at the corner of their eyes until they flicked it away with a twitchy shake of the head.

2. Personify the shit out of your nouns. Whumpee bled? No. The blood soaked through Whumpee's shirt. Make it an external factor that's affecting them. Much more engaging.

3. Pacing. Whumpee got dragged into the car, then into a house and chained in the basement? That's not one scene, that's at least three. OR. It's a two sentence summary that Whumpee is musing about while already in the basement. 

4. Speaking of, don't start with the boring, just get right into the action. You can weave the 'how we got here' bits in after a few sentences, but get your reader hooked right away. Don't start with "Whumpee got out of bed, glancing at their blaring alarm". Try instead "Their hands were shaking so hard they had to try three times to dial the number, fingers as clumsy as they were that morning, trying to slap their alarm off through the fog of blissful sleep." Or just don't mention it at all! Skip to the good stuff!

Lastly, let’s hype up some of your favourite blogs! Any friends, writers or just really cool people you want to shout out?

@whumblr was like my idol before I started! It's so cool just casually knowing her now? Still not over that, to be honest.

I always tag her but @distinctlywhumpthingmpthing is so good? Seriously, you want to see some god-tier writing, go over there. (minors read tws well please, its not all for you.)

@brutal-nemesisemesis is always a delight. Castys gives me life.

And of course,  I'm gonna give a shoutout to @wormwritinging, my beloved. We met here and as much as I adore this community, they're hands down the best part of it. 

Anything you'd like to add? 

I can't think of anything but thank you for doing this. This blog is so cool!

It’s been a honor to have you here, @painsandconfusion!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[saingirl101]

NeverAfter Ep 20 As Brian David Gilbert Gifs (FINALE SPOILERS!!!!)

i'm not ready for the series to be over Mr. Mulligan. God i cant believe how far i fell into this series so fast. I missed out on the previous D20 adventures because I just got hook only last November or Dec. I truly love every one of the PCs and many of these NPCs and i am terrified for their fates.

Should note physically I am unwell i somehow pinched a nerve so I am in great pain but trying to manage so apologies if I am late to posting this or miss something.

In any case without further ado enjoy my dramatic liveblog and as always:

Gerard getting Scheherazade up with a good berry:

Timothy starting concentration and hearing the arthurs in the ink and repelling their intent to turn them into paper:

TIMOTHY USING CUTTING WORDS TO HELP BABA YAGA KEEP CINDERELLA RESTRAINED:

Ylfa risking jumping up onto Baba Yaga, making it, and TAKING SHEHERZADE'S BOOK BACK, AND THROWS IT BACK TO SHEHERAZADE:

Rosamund summoning a bird to be PIBs mount:

Rosamund criting on the blue fairy and going into a new special form:

Pinocchio using strands of fate to give all the bookholders total cover:

THE INK BECOMING MASTER HAND FROM SUPER SMASH BROS:

PIB using the bird to send a firework at the fairies and pib attacking the green fairy:

brennan losing his godamn mind with that move by Zac:

Tom Thumb giving Mira a goodberry:

Pinocchio managing to convince the fairy with the turquoise hair to join destiny's children and then fucking diving into the ocean of pages:

GERARD BLEPPING OUT HIS TONGUE TO PUT THE FAIRY GODMOTHER IN ROSAMUND'S BOOK CONTINUING HIS REVENGE TOUR + the evil fairy i guess:

THE STEPMOTHER COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR AND BEING A PAPER MONSTROSITY:

BEAKY GOING DOWN ON A NAT 1 CON SAVE AND RIPPING THE HAND A NEW ONE:

Lou and Emily desperately trying to convince the orange top hat fairy and having to cobble together the stupidest pc creep to get her to leave the fight and she moonwalks straight into the sea of pages AND NOW YLFA HAS AN ORANGE HAT:

ROSAMUND CRITTING ON THE STEPMOTHER AND HAVING HER BURN A LEGENDARY RESISTANCE TO NOT IMMEDIATELY DIE:

THE STEPMOTHER BANISHING THE BABA YAGA:

PINOCCHIO GIVING THE STEPMOTHER MEGA DISAVANTAGE AFTER CALLING HER NAME "MINERVA":

ZAC CALLING HIS CRIT AGAINST THE HAND AND INSTA KILLING IT AS IT ROLLS A 7, FAILLING TO SAVE:

GERARD AND MIRA DYING and so many of the characters going down:

GERARD AND MIRA DYING and so many of the characters going down:

ZAC ROLLING AN 18 TO ALLOW THE SPELL TO TAKE EFFECT:

PIB STEALING BACK THE THINGS THE BABA YAGA TOOK:

EVERYONE'S FINAL MOMENTS OF THE LINES BETWEEN MAKING ME BAWL WITH THE BITTERSWEET SACRIFICES (ESPECIALLY GERELODY):

Everyone getting to write their stories down in the village of happily and find their own peace in their stories:

Brennan lee Mulligan as he sends us off to the next D20 campaign as the journeys of our cast continues:

SEE YOU IN THE STARS LOVELY NEVERAFTER FANS. AND LIVE HAPPILY YOURSELVES.

[swampgallows]

You recently reblogged a post of the "waifu bait" twitter post, and mentioned not watching modern anime. I tried looking up anime on your blog and you said you liked Tokyo Godfathers, so I trust your taste lol. Can you recommend some other anime you liked? Preferably movies, but this doesn't really matter.

OMG thats very sweet of you haha. my anime tag is actually "animu" but a lot of it is just aesthetic posts/gifs. i find i still gravitate toward anime from the late 90s - early 00s but not for lack of trying. what i like most about anything animated is the animation itself so i place a higher premium on anime that isn't mostly static intricate paper dolls with mouth flaps or is at least nice to look at. i prefer slice of life over action or mecha/sci-fi in any kind of media, so while i've heard really great things about ghost in the shell, gundam, etc. i've never seen them.

i also have a very low tolerance for most shonen ("h-his power level... it's over 9000!" playground battle tactics) and most sexual tropes/fanservice ("onee-chan let's compare chest sizes!" type shit). it's probably more accurate to say i like some japanese animation rather than "anime", if that makes sense. essentially anything rating fairly low across the weeb-ass-shit scale.

recs under cut cause it got long!!

= movies, in chronological order: obligatory ghibli favorites: my neighbor totoro (1988), kiki's delivery service (1989), only yesterday (1991). only yesterday is a little more obscure than the other two but ghibli films have pretty much a universal seal of approval so i doubt a pitch is necessary. onward!

little nemo: adventures in slumberland (1989): hey does this count as anime? i hope so. one of the pivotal founts of nightmare fuel from my youth (beaten only by brave little toaster, perhaps) this film has eluded seemingly everyone i know in my age group and i'm not sure why. while it's not nearly as inappropriate as its early 20th century source material it may have fallen to scarcity due to its "pg" content, like tobacco use and several frightening scenes, a la the failure of disney's the black cauldron. regardless, the animation is fluid, the songs are cute, the backgrounds are beautifully painted, and there at least a handful of shots that will flash in your mind before bed.

princess arete (2001): hits a lil close to home since it's about a girl named arete trapped in her room and yearning for autonomy, to create things with her hands, and to participate in the outside world. a bit slow paced and quiet but i think it adds to the atmosphere and immersive isolation, and it does pick up near the end a bit.

interstella 5555 (2003): obligatory. more of a feature-length music video than a film but still has a cohesive narrative. hope you like french house!

MIND GAME (2004): my feelings about mind game are fairly similar to my feelings about burning man: grateful i had the experience, but once is enough. i personally don't care for "trippy" stuff, but the animation itself does have some great visuals, switching up different styles and even incorporating live action footage and rotoscoping for an experimental "patchwork" feel. nishi, a down-on-his-luck loser, grapples with purpose and the meaning of life after a handful of near-death experiences, including being swallowed by a whale; anything "biblical" after that is all knowledge-wise. like princess arete, this one's also by studio 4C but is intended for mature audiences (lots of sex. and a rape, as a warning). if you liked tekkonkinkreet (another 4C production) or paprika (satoshi kon), mind game is worth a shot.

---

= series, in chronological order:

oishinbo (1988-92): almost like a shonen, but with gourmet cooking. as part of their cultural division, a japanese newspaper tasks two journalists, yamaoka and kurita, with creating "the ultimate menu" to broaden japanese culinary horizons. yamaoka is the estranged son of a highly venerated food critic and engages in a persistent rivalry with his father to both prove his expertise and to challenge the rigid traditions. kurita is an average working girl of the 80s providing the audience perspective as we learn the elaborate methods of the gourmet cooking world alongside her. nostalgic for its music, setting, and style, this was a big comfort anime for me, though despite its several seasons it never wraps up the story of the manga. also kurita has a unique outfit almost every episode, which is a nice detail. i only found out about it because of @/80sanime!

tenchi muyo + tenchi universe (1992-95): harem anime crossed with a feudal japanese space opera of sorts. i first saw the show on toonami as a kid, and what hooked me instantly were all the different personalities of the girls. if you're familiar with the cartoon the owl house, it's said that eda is HEAVILY inspired in personality, character design, and even voice by one of the main characters, ryoko hakubi, a space pirate hiding out on earth from the galaxy police. mostly comedy with obligatory hot springs and beach episodes, but has spaceship battles and magical sword fights too.

neon genesis evangelion (1995-6) + the end of evangelion (1997): i should not have watched this as a 12 year old. although i think anyone of any age who watches end of evangelion walks away permanently changed. (due to the nature of the series, it is unclear whether the "rebuild of evangelion" films are remakes or sequels, but i personally don't recommend them either way.) if you are somehow not familiar with evangelion: teens pilot giant robots against extraterrestrial threats called "angels". things become... much less about giant robots.

azumanga daioh (2002): this was one of the first series i had ever seen (western or japanese) about girls being friends that wasnt preoccupied with getting boyfriends or being "girly". still has the occasional fanservice tropes, but mostly comedic or quickly over with. since it was adapted from the 4 panel comic strips, it retains a lot of the short-form humor as quick vignettes or gags. not as exaggerated and boisterous as nichijou but similar, and way less insipid than k-on but still has sentimental and cute moments between the girls.

ashita no nadja (2003-4): nadja, an orphaned dancer in london, is on a quest to find her mother. she travels across (mostly) europe with the dandelion troupe, a group of entertainers with their own fraught backstories. she is intent on helping everyone she meets, sometimes to her own detriment, and learns lessons along the way about who she can trust, how a person's past can change them, and that not everything can be fixed with a smile and a song. meanwhile there's a kind of tuxedo mask thing going on between a pair of twin brothers, and nadja struggles with romantic feelings for both of them. overall very much a feelgood "girl cartoon", but i liked the dance sequences, the animation quality, and the evolution of nadja's character. i got to vicariously travel and dance alongside her, and i liked cheering on someone with a good heart working hard to make her dreams come true.

paradise kiss (2005): MAN i should watch this again. reserved overachiever high school student Caroline stumbles into the world of underground fashion and street culture as a model, blowing open the confines of her previously sheltered life. while she finds a home in ParaKiss she also has to confront the dark sides of fame, the fashion industry, and the strain it puts on their relationships. as a fairly introverted raver with model friends i related to a lot of it. also for queer points, george is bisexual and isabella has been praised as positive representation by trans women, especially for a series from the aughts. also WHATTT THE FUCK PATRICK SEITZ VOICES GEORGE IN THE DUB??? OHHH MY GOD okay anyway

the ancient magus bride (mahou tsukai no yome) (2017-2023): stunning animation, and a series i've yet to catch up with purely because i end up crying virtually every episode. it's a bit of a wish fulfillment thing (teenage girl discovers she has special powers and is whisked away from her abusive home life to a medieval fantasy world where she is betrothed to a tender monster-man) but has a lot of great worldbuilding and poignant storylines. it's ghibli-esque in a way but with more of an overarching melancholy and sense of foreboding compared to the average ghibli film. and just to get it out of the way for some inexplicable reason a few of the side characters have HUMONGOUS hungolomghnonoloughongous

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ive seen quite a bit of anime in my day but these are the ones i actually remember watching and enjoying. like i recently watched all of slayers and most of slayers next, and while it was satisfying in a 90s nostalgia way i wouldnt necessarily recommend it. also there are some very highly acclaimed films and series that i haven't gotten around to yet (full metal alchemist brotherhood, cowboy bebop [I KNOW IM SORRY], the animatrix, etc.) hopefully this is enough to go off of for now!

[alltheotherblogs]

I was asked what my favorite fictional world was...

And it's really not so cut and dry. It's actually hard to truly say. I like a world where virtually anything is possible, but with strict rules. That's kind of why I like JoJo's bizarre Adventure. The strict rules which everything has to abide by while also sharing the absurdity and possibility which the world has, it's always captivated me. My favorite part of JJBA is Part 7, because it shows another way to get a stand besides the alien disease on a meteor... It shows a religious miraculous origin. Religion. It's beyond interesting to incorporate Jesus into a world which isn't the bible, and do it in such a way. The mere idea of the parts of Jesus's body granting power, it's just interesting. Cause at that point you have to think... "Is all of JJBA part of God's plan?" hehehe. I think it's just awesome. But, I really really like religion. I find religious stories, myth, legend, all that stuff VERY fun and interesting. I'm no Christian but I really really like the stories of the bible.

But, Jojo isn't my favorite fictional world. Just one of many that I really like. That kind of segways me into worlds that I REALLY like... Mythos, legend, and religion. Yeah, seriously. All over the world, amazing stories are going under appreciated because people are gatekeeping these tales behind the veil of belief. But, they are on the internet, free for you to read at any time. And I really recommend it! You should go and explore some ideas in other religions that you may be interested in. I'm always learning more from religion. Those guys still knew how to tell a good story back then. How else would so many people be attracted to YOUR particular belief? Through ideology? Well yeah... But, also, I've heard that plenty of people have switched to Christianity AFTER they read the bible. I'm not kidding! Regardless, I think a lot of legend and myth sort of promotes this idea that you live in a world where anything is possible. And, really that is my favorite fictional world. A world where anything is possible.

(Gif unrelated I just really like Pingu)

I play D&D, and other TTRPG's. But, D&D is my favorite, I like almost all the editions. But, 5th is my preferred edition. I'm not the first to say this and I won't be the last, but 5th edition is just SO VERSATILE! 5th edition is at it's best when there is homebrew involved. Yeah, all the books are nice... But, I don't want to always tell THEIR story. I want to tell my story, I want to tell my player's stories. And, usually that means homebrew. With the world of D&D, and the rules of the game, it sort of comes together in this perfect merging of possibility with guidelines. You CAN do anything in D&D, but it will ALWAYS have an equal and opposite reaction. D&D is like utter magic fantasy which still somehow abides by real world laws, and it's great. The fact that I can pick up a tree, drop it on something, and it does a realistic amount of damage to that creature... It kind of makes D&D the perfect fantasy...

And just like that, it all comes together... The egg of the king. The birth of a new Godhand...

BERSERK. Those who truly appreciate art, appreciate berserk. and real fans of the series will often call it "The Fiction Bible." Because, it's a perfect example of the BEST STORY ON PLANET EARTH. Honestly, I thought I wanted more people to find and read Berserk, but as soon as I realized what that meant... I realized how wrong I was. A lot of poor unintelligent trash have come into contact with our beautiful tale of struggle. In general, I don't mind if you just don't like Berserk for a valid reason like "Oh, I just don't like the themes, dark fantasy isn't my thing, I don't like stories with such and such or violent stuff isn't really my jam... So on." But, the second you say something actually dumb and untrue like "It's bad because [Strawman argument or other logical fallacy]" Yeah, you and I can't live within 10 miles of each other anymore. If I see you, it's on sight. I'm serious too, I take Berserk very seriously. It saved my life, after all...

I grew up as Guts did, read as chapters came out, joked along with the english speaking community as more chapters came out and got translated. But, most importantly, I was struggling too. I'm sure we've all had hardships in life... But not all of you are as bad off as I am. I'm not going to go into it any deeper, but to say the least, you'll never have any idea what I've been through. Not many will.

Because of this probably unhealthy attachment, I can't respect anyone who has stupid wrong opinions about this masterwork piece of art.

I hate to break it to some of you, but narcissism is a plague on todays society. This results in a lot of people thinking that they are magically right about things! When in reality they are just too low IQ to realize they are wrong. In this instance, a lot of low IQ people are wrong about Berserk. It takes someone very smart to actually appreciate EVERYTHING about this work of art, after all. But, that's enough about Berserk. It's a pure work of art with no flaws, and anyone who personally disagrees with it I'm cool with. But anyone who pretends it is anything but perfection... I'm after you. Don't bother running. (SPOILERS FOR BERSERK BEYOND THIS POINT! If you haven't read it, GO READ IT ALL NOW. IT'S ONLINE FOR FREE.)

In the world of Berserk they so clearly present this idea of multiple universes, and how they can all overlap and have varying circumstances which makes certain things more likely than others... But the main thing is Belief. Belief in something can give it so much power that it becomes true. God, in and of itself, is just a Common Consciousness... It is the culmination of everything. And, as more sentient life is brought into the world, the more powerful God gets. This idea of overlapping realities to create the ultimate reality isn't actually a Berserk original, it's actually quantum physics. But, that's not what this post is about. Regardless, this idea of multiple universes is a STAPLE as to what makes a Fantasy world perfect for me. It ultimately means anything and everything is possible within the set rules... Which is why Berserk is almost my favorite fantasy world. As soon as Femto manages to trick skullknight into actually bridging the gap between the sort of "Fey" or "Mythical" world and the material world, it turns this world into this magical and incredible place where many things once thought myth or legend are now possible at the hands of perfectly normal mortal people. In fact, I actually believe that Guts' exposure to one of the deepest planes of the dimensional layers during the eclipse is what gave him his unrealistic and absurd strength. The world of Berserk is very difficult to explain to say the least. But, the basics are; It has a lot of layers, which the deepest is God himself. The deeper into these layers of reality you go, the more magical and fantastical things get, because you are coming into contact with base elements of our reality. Vague concepts like Elements, Energy, an Afterlife, what sentience actually means, so on. In Berserk, people can actually meet the conditions to slip into a deeper plane of existence, this is where Legends, religion, and myth sort of came from. I like the way this is handled, more than any other world.

It's kind of like this simulated Fractal. Layer after layer after layer, except, eventually, you get small enough that more layers can no longer exist. That's why my favorite fictional universes are the ones I make myself. Sure, I like a lot of worlds... I really like Soul Eater! The simplicity of the setting combined with the complexity and idea of there simply being a magic system intrigues me. I like Fullmetal Alchemist! Alchemy only exists because of this profound concept and extra-dimensional being... HOW?! WHAT?! What does that mean?! That means, that by the end of FMA, the limits of power are nearly infinite in this world. I'm constantly left wondering what other Gods could be born in a world like FMA. Hunter X Hunter has one of the best power systems in all of manga, with some minor rules which I disagree with... Hmm... I'm noticing a theme. Most of my favorite fiction is in Manga. Yikes... Yeah, well it's true. The West just isn't as good at writing stories as the East. I'm sorry guys... :( It's not even necessarily the case that "The west sucks at storytelling boohoo" it's just that, a wide majority of english speaking society happens to be idiots. I don't know why! Good well made stuff doesn't get popular here! It has lead to other places having a monopoly on GOOD STORY TELLING! It's absurd to be honest, and it's the reason Hollywood is crashing. Regardless, whenever I made a world, that world becomes my favorite. And I know, it's self centered, but if I had to pick any other world, it'd be Berserk! Why? Because it's cool idfk.