#i gotta fertilize my plants too

[oceanlovingcommunist]

i did so much work on setting up my bedroom yesterday and it’s FINALLY feeling Mine. it feels so good

[sysig]

Go play, ambassador, go play ambassador (Patreon)

[brn-t]

Thermotropism

TAGS:

eyy where my plant fuckers at? 👀🌱🌿 you can read it on AO3 here

I don’t think I should have taken this plant home…

Like, when I saw it baking in the sun in that alley outside my building, it’d looked like it had a lot of potential! It was all shriveled but the leaves branched out from a thick basal stem like a monstera almost and there were these bright red blotches on its roots that looked super cool!

When I brought it in (heavy!!) I could tell just by looking how root bound it was, so I popped it out of it’s cheap decorative planter (poor thing was probably never repotted) and yup, there were more roots than dirt.

I had no idea what the hell it was. Inatural had no frickin clue. It looked like a tropical plant with it’s broad green leaves and knobbly aerial roots, but the ground roots were so thick they looked like tubers!! 

I have to admit I was fascinated, but I should have gotten rid of it then…

It spent uh, a couple weeks underneath my shitty little plant light, the one in my room. I was quarantining it in there until I knew it didn’t have any critters on it, but it seemed happy with its repotting and daily soakings for the most part.

The thing really liked water

Like, I started off watering it once a week, and it did perk up, but it didn’t really change much until I started dousing it every morning before work.

And man when it started goin off, it really went off.

It seemed like every time I came home it had sent out a new aerial root or new leaf! The thing was voluptuous as hell! When it got too big for my pathetic little plant light I moved it to the window sill next to my bed. 

It was kinda nice! Like a natural blind or something once it got its runners going up the screen.

I didn’t mind, it was always hot as hell in my little apartment and my landlord couldn’t be arsed to install an AC. I just had to be careful not to accidentally crawl over the little shoots it was sending out all over when I got into bed.

I guess where I fucked up is when I found out about.. its uh.. nutrient preferences

I swear it was a complete accident the first time!! 

I had just gotten home from another 10 hr day and I was tired and smelly and needed to jerk off pronto. I hosed myself down and threw myself into bed, still steaming from trying to scrub off the smell of fried food from my skin, and cracked open my laptop.

Now, fun fact, there's this thing that plants do where they move towards things. Most of the time its towards light, but they can also be attracted to heat! It’s called thermotropism. So I dunno if it was the heat from my ancient laptop or the steam off my skin, but just as I'm about to nut I feel something brush against the head of my dick.

It took me so much by surprise that I came right there, frickin coating a leaf in my jizz. The thing had turned completely around from facing the window above my bed to nearly touching me with its broad soft leaf.

Even for a tropical plant that’s shockingly mobile.

So I cleaned it off as best I could but I guess some of my spunk got absorbed into the soil, I dunno, I passed out shortly after that. I didn’t wake up until nearly nine o clock the next morning because the room was still completely dark thanks to the density of the wall of leaves covering my window. The plant had frickin doubled in size and the terracotta pot I had repotted it in had some fresh cracks in it where the aerial roots were exploding out through.

I didn’t have time to freak out about it since I was once again late to work, but I gotta admit, I was digging the jumanjI vibes it brought to my otherwise very dull room 

So.. I may have started jerking off into it every night?

What! It’s like, natural fertilizer, or whatever!! And the plant seemed to like it? 

I even got it to flower!! It started putting out these crazy flower stalks that closed up during the day but unfurled at night giving off this crazy floral fragrant scent.

It made me remember being a kid and running around in the woods behind my stepdads rental cabin, so I let it keep spreading.

I realize now, this was not the smartest idea, but fuck it, my landlord all but explicitly told me I wasn’t getting the deposit back unless I sued him for it so when it started putting its roots into the drywall, I let it.

It was nice honestly, coming home after seeing nothing but concrete grey for hours and then throwing myself into my little tropical nest. And the smell of the flowers really set the mood when I was jerkin it.

Embarrassingly I think my mind started associating the smell with orgasm because I swear I walked past a florist shop the other day and had to walk bowlegged to the 7D train.

The trouble really started when it started sending its roots in my direction .

Now, I ain’t proud of it, but I more often than not just sleep on a bare mattress. Its got one of those memory foam layers on top and I just couldn’t be bothered to put a fitted sheet on it half the time.

So when I started feeling a bump underneath me as I lay in bed, I just thought it was like, a sock  or something that had gotten shoved underneath there, nbd, until that night… 

I was feeling particularly pent up and kept grinding my ass against that spot on the mattress. I don’t know why I did it, I just wanted more friction and the blooms on the ceiling above me were gettin me wound up with their heavy fragrance. Anyway, it feels like there's a soft tear below me and suddenly something hard and Wide and cold is pressing right against my gooch.

I kinda jump (because it’s cold!!) and look down to find that the frickin plant has grown into the mattress !!

And it was a fat root too, no idea how I didn’t notice it more earlier.

It was kindof freaky to be honest how fast it had grown, the thing really must have liked my semen, but at that point with how humid the room was and how dizzy the flowers were making me feel… I went with it.

 I ground my ass into it and when the thick ridge popped in past my ring I swear I came harder than I ever have in my life dude

I felt like I blacked out a little at the end there because the next thing I knew, it was morning and I'm absolutely painted in my own cum. I guess at this point I should have realized what was going on but I think the pollen those flowers were putting out were scrambling my brains a little. When I woke up, there was a network of thin bright red roots crisscrossing my body, sending out these feathery little things, absorbing the frankly ludicrous amounts of cum I had shot out last night. They pulled at my skin a little as I tore them off but part of me was still a little horny. So I cleared them away and and pulled out my phone.

Fuck it, right? It was my day off and I had no responsibilities that day anyway.

I just rolled over and started going to town on my morning wood.

My ass twitched around something and that's when I noticed...

The fuckin root was still in my ass from last night!!!

I'm trying to use one hand to milk my dick while the other one shoots down in between my legs and sure enough, that fuckin root had buried itself who knows how deep! I tried in vain to pull the thing out, but it was rooted in the mattress after all and didn’t budge. So, humiliatingly, I had to pull myself off of it.

I have to admit, I came a little just from feeling how much of it was inside of me, there was a good 7 inches of thick knobby root dragged out of me, grinding against my prostate as I pulled myself off of it.

I just lay there breathless, staring at the root, sticking straight up out out of my mattress now that it was no longer buried in my ass. My inner walls twitched and contracted, trying to close around the space it had carved out in me.

I guess I still had some sense then because I did actually prune the plant after that

I pulled the root out of my ruined mattress and trimmed all the stalks and roots near my bed. I started jerking off in the bathroom and yea the leaves wilted a bit but that was too much for me, you know?

Well, I don’t know if plants can get pissed but I must have pissed this one off because it responded to me suddenly not “fertilizing” it by sending out these little sticky climbers that got everywhere.

I woke up one morning to the fuckers wrapped around my tiny nipples. I went to sit up and yelped because they got yanked by the fuckin things, pulling my chest to the side. I tried to pull it off as delicately as I could, but the thin stems snapped in half, bleeding a reddish sort of liquid all over my chest!

It sort of burned but I just yelled at the plant, wiped it off and got dressed for work.

Now, I don’t know if I was allergic or something, but for the rest of that day my nipples stayed hard and puffy, poking out visibly from underneath my thin uniform shirt and earning more than a few snickers from the girls up front.

Good thing I had a vacation week coming up.

It had been asked for months in advance, and was the first one I’d had in a decade. I was supposed to drive out to the lake across the state to hang with a buddy of mine at his parents bougie lake house. Well, that night was the night before I was due to head out, and I went to bed in my travel clothes so I could just pop out of bed in the morning. Not wanting to ruin my clothes, I watered the Plant like usual and saved the jerking for when I got to my buddies place.

I was just on the edge of unconsciousness when I felt something moving up my shirt sleeve. I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming it or not so I just laid there, feeling the thing slowly snake its way up to my chest, resting on the sensitive swollen bud there 

I only really tried to react when I felt a second tendril branch out from the first and start oozing that same irritating sap over my OTHER nipple!

Groggily I straightened up, falling for the same headphones on the doorknob trap as last time, but this time it felt a lot better.

My nips hadn't really gone down since that last time so when they got yanked I thought a yelp of pain was what was gonna come out of my mouth, so imagine my surprise when a full bodied moan slipped out instead.

I immediately got super red in the face and yanked off my shirt.

This, unfortunately, snapped the thin tendrils stem, causing it to bleed more of its spicy sap all along my side and chest as I shucked off my shirt.

It left an angry red trail of raised sensitive skin, swelling my nipples far beyond what was normal, and they stuck out of my chest like two puffy toilet plungers out from my swelling pecs.

I tried to pull the tendrils off of them but they were too tight and my nipples were too big now.

I looked up from groping my chest to see how many of the plant’s flowers had opened up above me, showering me in who knows what.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I was openmouth panting, inhaling the perfume and palming my shorts which had at some point started to fill out. I ripped my shorts off too, and only after a few strokes realized how deeply I had just fucked up

If you guessed “that idiot just smeared a sap he’s clearly allergic to all over the most sensitive part of his body” you would be correct...

I was howling in pain as it started to burn, but after a minute or two I was thrusting into the air and moaning like a whore, the fire had turned into an electric storm of pleasure.

My dick was swelling way past normal hardness and I could only continue to try and fuck the hell out of my hand.

It was entirely too humid in that room, everything felt wet and sticky, so when I came finally, I barely even felt it on me

I screamed so loud the neighbors probably thought I was dying I probably did die a little... I think I shot into my own mouth at one point??  I collapsed immediately after, and when I woke in the morning, the whole plant looked shiny and glossy, like it was gloating over the fact it’d gotten me to come for it yet again.

I know it was just a plant but I got mad

I jumped out of bed, completely ignoring the tendrils still wrapped around my nips, put a thick jacket over my shirt and left the room with my suitcase while flipping it the bird.

I felt bad that I would be gone for a week but I’d set it up with a slow release watering pitcher, so I figured it’d be fine without me.

What I didn’t plan on was how I would do without it.

What should have been a great vacation turned into the worst case of blueballs seen this side of the Mississippi.

Not only did my nipples constantly pulse and throb against the tendrils, but I found out later when I went to go use the bathroom that one had slipped around the base of my dick as well, which had also refused to recede back to its normal size. The woody chord was a bit thicker and it wrapped around the base and balls, completely blocking any and all attempts to even get hard.

So instead of focusing on the boat ride or my friends stupid alcohol choices, I was stuck in a constant struggle of being aroused by my throbbing nipples and being unable to address it at all. I was actually filled with relief when the final day came and I was saying goodbye to my hosts.

I flew home after that in my tiny little beater car, shifting uncomfortably at my seatbelt rubbing directly against my chest. I practically kicked the door in, shedding all my clothes in a line to my bedroom and threw myself into bed.

I yelped when I landed on several thick somethings beneath my body creak under my weight, poking me through the thin layer of foam.

The Plant was the worst I’d seen it since I brought it home, with several dead leaves deposited on the bed and an explosion of fuzzy white runners running the length of that bedroom wall.

The roots jabbed into me like it had planned this.

“Ow!” I’d said, “ I'm sorry ok? I just needed a break!”

As a response, I watched a giant cream white flower slowly expand and burst open, sending a shower of shimmery yellow pollen floating down directly over my face.

Things uh, got a little out of hand after that…

The tendrils had finally loosened enough around my dick to where I could pull them off but that just led to all my pent up semen literally dumping into my balls as soon as the tie was removed. I moaned as I could physically feel them growing heavier as a weeks worth of pent up jizz dropped into my balls. They felt like leaden weights.

It was almost painful how quickly I got hard, and it didn’t take more than a stroke or two before I was yelling and releasing said load all over myself and the plant.

You could visibly see it perk up, opening up more buds, showering me with pollen and dusting the bed. The two substances got mixed by my frantic motions and soon I was lightly cheeto dusted with the stuff,

My skin was on fire but it also.. uh, felt really good somehow... So once the high of the first orgasm died down, it wasn't long before I was rarin to go for a second round.

I palmed my recovering erection and was just about fully hard when I felt it.

Again, at my ass!! Was one of the plant’s thick basal roots!! Except this one looked a little weird..

First off it was tremendously thick, about the width of my wrist, and secondly it was covered in all these little backwards facing ridges, like a drywall sink

Man, I don’t know what wires go crossed but between the way my ass was twitching and the pollen I was huffing, I put my ass right against that thing

It must have reacted to my bodyheat because it felt like as I was pressing down on it, the thing was pushing into me as well.

It was intense, there was no give to its turgid walls, so I had to stretch myself out around it to get it past my ring.

Once it was properly seated inside me I started going to town on my dick, which at this point was leaking like my kitchen sink maintenance had refused to address for weeks.

I swear I could feel the root get deeper and deeper inside me as I jerked and spasmed around it I was panting and moaning like a bitch, I can’t believe how horny I was

at some point I felt something at my mouth and wouldn’t you know it, an equally thick tuber had been drawn to my hot breath and was poking at the corner of my lips

I was way past the point of rational thoughts at that point, I just leaned forward and let it creep into my mouth.

The further it got the hotter I felt. My tongue swiped across the underside and that’s when I tasted something sweet

Was this root leaking sap??

Turns out the itchy nectar tasted amazing so I ended up suckling it as I frantically jerked my dick. The root inside my ass had reached my prostate at that point and thats when things got really hazy for me.

I remember exploding all over myself, I would have been screaming if not for the thick root tunneling its way down my throat

I was jerking and spasming to the best of my ability but the roots were getting a little out of control, they were budding from the base of the main roots and expanding all over my body, and every couple of inches they would plant a sticky little node like a command strip onto my skin and keep going, until I could barely move.

The only part that hadn’t been covered was my right arm, which was moving too fast jerking myself off for the tendrils to colonize.

The root in my mouth seemed to expand further, and suddenly I realized that I could still breath despite it feeling like it had reached my guts almost.

My tongue felt a small hole on the underside and sure enough, I could breath just fine.

Good thing too because that’s when I noticed the two thinner roots making their way up my nose, expanding into my nostrils and plugging them completely.

The root in my ass must have had the same idea...

At this point I was slowly starting to realize, like, “oh shit, I really can’t move” and started trying to pull things off of me to escape bu t I honestly couldn’t budge. My left arm was completely rooted to the mattress and my right arm couldn’t be lifted above my waist, just enough to reach my dick but not enough to reach my face.

Leaves were starting to branch out from the tendrils, and with them came more flowers.

They were visibly crawling all over me now, moving fast enough for me to track with my eyes, and I watched in horror as several thin tendrils spiraled up my cock.

I wish I could have broken away but I was quite literally rooted to the spot watching these tendrils poke at my leaking pisshole and worm their way inside.

I screamed and cried but the progress was unceasing, it steadily tunneled into my dick until it hit the base and pinched my prostate against the root in my ass, which at this point must have reached high up into my guts.

I screamed against the root as I came, but no semen escaped my completely plugged dick.

I could feel it making its way inside my through my internal passages, rooting itself straight into my balls, 

At that point I really did pass out, whether from lack of oxygen or overstimulation I couldn’t tell.

Well, I'm awake now and I am utterly fucked, the roots have expanded into nearly every available orifice, even trying to fill out my belly button and uh.. they might have broken through the skin...

I can see ridges beneath my skin.. little hard lines were they’ve penetrated me.

I'm being constantly milked and I can’t even move as they constantly grind against the inside of my cock

I'm not even thirsty or anything, the liquid being drip-fed down my throat fills me up and I'm just kept in a constant state of bliss.

I dunno what to do bro, I have my phone but even texting is getting hard with one hand and roots slowly crawling down my fingers…

you’re the only one close enough to me, theres a key underneath the mat..

you gotta help me man before it's too la

[tomorrowsgardennc]

Seed Sourcing Guide: An Opinion

i was listening in on a seed saving nerd zoom meeting last night when one of the best quotes ever said was said said: "the best seed 'store' is your own backyard." and the lady is totes right. downside is... you gotta source the seeds before you start saving them. with it being seed buying season, and a lady totally saying the best quote for any and all seed nerds to fuel my drive to finally sit down and write this, i have come up with:

tier list for seed sourcing websites NOT SPONSORED BTW

✨ top tier best tier ✨

ok so, i never really heard of true leaf until last year. but i have been sourcing almost all of my seeds from them since! they're not the same grow zone as me, but utah has some of the best soil in the nation so maybe that's why their seeds are the absolute best when it comes to germination. they also have a huge variety of seeds, all gorgeously designed in a quick-to-understand format (like their icons for heirloom versus hybrid, container friendly or not, etc.) their information is all legit and comprehensive as shit. my microgreen farmer friend gets all his microgreen seeds from here, too. couldn't recommend them enough!

if your looking for tomatoes specifically, then tomatofest is legit the best. they were recommended to me a few years ago by my farmer mama, and legit they are the best for any and all tomato types. if i ever need a new tomato variety, this is where i go no matter what. if they don't have it, then must not be worth growing. germination rate is always high, the plants come out great, and always fast with shipping.

i have not met a home gardener or farmer friend who doesn't have hoss in their seed library. their selection is small and their website is mid, but damn do they have the best germination rates out there along with the healthiest looking plants i ever did done see or grow. and tbh that's really what matters at the end of the day - not the germination rates, or shipping, or quantity, but rather how the vegetable or fruit plant thrives and produces. and hoss ticks off all those boxes beautifully.

😐 middle tier is mid 😐

eden brothers is mid tier only because i have attempted to germinate about 12 different seed types from them over the past 5 years and never have i ever gotten anything better than 10% germination rate. but their BULBS, their bulbs are absolutely amazing! if i need a flowering bulb to add to my cut flower garden, then this is where i source them from. never any issues with molded bulbs, and they grow true to what they say they will and how (so information is accurate). just... don't bother with the seed section.

i really truly and honestly and want to put renee's garden seeds in top tier... but i have tried over 20 different herb seeds from renee's and the herbs just never germinate. ever! the flowers, amazing. the vegetables, pretty good. selection, absolutely amazing. but the herbs, bro i don't know where they're sourcing their herbs from but it ain't happening. at least for me. maybe others more north would have better luck.

grow organic is great for supplies such as fertilizers and such, but not so much for seeds. i sourced my California softneck garlic from them and they were wonderful. i've had another farmer friend say she gets all her onion starts from them as well and her onions are phenomenal. but i've tried only 3 seed varieties from them with decent germination but didn't live long at all. if you're looking for tubers or vegetable bulbs, then totes. otherwise, be weary of the seeds even if the germination is great. (me thinks they save seeds regardless of how the plant lived, compared to saving seeds only from healthy plants.)

💀 worst tier don't bother 💀

johnny seeds used to be my go to for seeds when i was only focused on transplants. this was because they're the only one who sells in bulk, and honestly that's the only perk for them. you have to buy their seeds in bulk to get any decent germination out of them. but if you want 200 basil plants, then buying 500 basil seeds from them will be just fine. if you just want 2 basil plants, then don't even look at this website. they have one of the best seed starting soil mixes, but the shipping costs more than the soil. and they have some nice supplies. but this is a seed tier list, not a supplies tier list.

hopefully the fiasco with the purple galaxy tomato in January of 2024 has shed some light to how bad this company is, but if not then i'm including them on this list. they were pretty bad before that, but at least they live up to their name. i have sourced a few vegetables from them, but only because nobody else had them. which honestly should be a red flag. BUT c'est la vie, i bought seeds from them 3 years ago and haven't gone back. they're overpriced, germination rate is OK but considering the price tag their germination rate should be better and they're not. they try to pull themselves off as the "small guy" when they're clearly not.

https://www.burpee.com/

burpee seed company is legit the worst. they're so bad that a link to their website breaks tumblr and makes my tier list look ugly. they might lure you in with their gorgeous website, and with the huuuuge variety they have. but the website NEVER works, the varieties are almost 99% hybrids that don't grow or produce well, and the germination rate is abysmal. yes, they sell in all major and minor box stores but that's because capitalism, not because they're the best. stay. away.

🏅 honorable mention 🏅

so first off, let me say i have never bought from this website. but i have been gifted many seeds from them from several people. not sure if that's good or bad, hence the honorable mention category.

the seeds i've been gifted from 3 different farmers, and they're all winter varieties. and they've all done amazing!! i did buy some flower and herb seeds from the local hardware store, and the seeds were acceptable for germination rate. i do not blame that on the company, though, since that hardware store is so old school that they don't even have A/C inside. creaky wood floors, smells like old metal, that kind of hardware store. so not the best environment to store seeds in. but i will be buying some for this year to try out directly from their website, seeing as how if 2 year old seeds germinate pretty good and ones stored in horrible conditions are OK then fresh from the source MUST be great!

📝 let me know who i forgot and where you would rank them 📝 plz thnx luv u

maybe i'll do a tier list for even smaller seed companies, like my size seed companies?? whatchu think?? i've only tried a few so it would force me to try out some more!

[twintravelers]

need me someone to do a haikaveh animatic of them w/the song lemon boy. i swear it fits them so much… i have my own interpretation of it below the cut !! (it's a bit long but bear w me.. tldr if u dont wanna read it: i think lemon boy nicely fits hkvh's progression in their relationship from their academia days to current times + they kiss at the end as a treat)

verse 1: There once was a bittersweet man and they called him, "Lemon Boy" / He was growing in my garden and I pulled him out by his hair like a weed

alhaitham thru kaveh's eyes, hkvh meeting at the academia (alhaitham is lemon boy), start of arguments

And like weeds do he only came and grew back again / So, I figured this time I might as well let him be

recurrent arguments+debates, slowly become friends

chorus: Lemon Boy and me started to get along together / I helped him plant his seeds / And we'd mow the lawn in bad weather

start hanging out/studying tgt !!

It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him / So, I got myself a citrus friend

become real friends / lowkey crushing?

verse 2: But soon his bittersweet started to rub off on me / You'd think smelling like lemon zest would be pretty neat

some more scenes of younger hkvh hanging out tgt :3 imagine what u want

I found out that my friends are more of the savory type / And they weren't too keen on compromising with a nice lemon pie

kaveh talking to some ppl who don't like alhaitham, argues w them (in alhaitham's favour) n leaves (maybe w alhaitham eavesdropping? lol)

chorus: So Lemon Boy and me, we just gotta get along together / I helped him plant his seeds / And we'll mow the lawn in bad weather

hkvh CUTE/fluff scenes working on the infamous project tgt

It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him / So, I got myself a citrus friend

maybe some more obvious crushing here idk.. i just love to think of them pining but not saying anything in their academia days... 

bridge: But what if I run out of fertilizer? / What if the clouds run out of rain? / What if Lemon Boy won't grow no longer? / What if beaches dry of sugar cane? / Oh well

/the/ fight. kaveh leaves. they grow apart, the years passing by. alhaitham finds kaveh drunk at the bar.

The whales start to beach themselves / Tortoise shells tear away from their spines / It happens all the time, it happens all the time

after listening to his ex-friend woes, alhaitham takes his jacket, puts it over kaveh's shoulder, and brings him back to his home, offering him a second key to the house in the morning

pre-chorus: Lemon Boy and I, we're gonna live forever / Like Snufkin and Little My, we'll get around wherever

kaveh slowly getting settled in his new home w/alhaitham <3 

chorus: Lemon Boy and I, we're gonna live forever / Like Snufkin and Little My, we'll get around wherever / It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter boy like him

them slowing hanging out tgt again, bickering w each other, little fond alhaitham moment w a small smile when he looks at kaveh arguing w him

outro: 'Cause we're the bitterest boys in town / Yeah, we're the bitterest guys around / And I got myself a citrus friend

alhaitham slowly approaches kaveh while he's complaining and kisses him to shut him up (heheheh) on the last line and it ends w kaveh being flustered but bringing alhaitham in for another kiss

OKAY IM DONE... hope someone read until the end if u did ily

[hecatemoon87]

ABCs of Smut with Tom Hardy Characters

It starts off smutty - no minors allowed.

Part II

Angry sex with Alfie

"Now, what did I tell you about being a needy brat, eh? You come in my office, straddle my knee and grind that perfect cunt on me thigh? I'm in a fucking bad mood, luv. And I'm going to take it out on your poor cunny."

Bondage sex with Bane

You wiggle with anticipation as Bane wraps a black silk cord around your wrists. His muscles bulge as he settles in front of you. "So it's the darkness in me you wish to see, hmmm? Well, I'm going to give you a taste of it. Now open your mouth like a good girl. Let's see how much darkness you can swallow."

Erradic sex with Eddie

"I'm sorry, I just gotta have you again." He whines gruffly against your ear. He is behind you, his strong arms holding you against his chest, his pant covered erection grinding over your bottom. You two are rival journalists. You should be competing, not fucking. But, god, you want and need him too, don't you? So go ahead, relax and let Eddie’s thick cock glide up your cunt as he sets you on top of your desk. You were after all, supposed to have a meeting.

Fertility sex with Forrest

Forrest doesn't like to fool around. He wants to settle down and have a family. He's traditional, no sex before marriage. But as soon as you become his wife, he's your sugar bear between your legs. "You're beautiful, baby girl. Mind if I fill your sweetness up? I'll be gentle. You'll be such a good mama."

Freaky sex with Freddie

"Bloody hell, baby. I knew you'd look sexy as fuck wearing that." Freddie gazes upon you with lust as you walk into the bedroom dressed in a French maid outfit. He likes to fuck you in every position he can think of, and that outfit just adds to his kink. He's all about domination with a touch of humiliation. But that's just fine, because you enjoy everything he has to offer. "Why don't you spread those gorgeous legs for daddy, you little slut."

Hedonistic sex with Heathcliff

This man has utter disregard for society. He likes to push boundaries and the limits of other people. It means he does the same in the bedroom. He likes to indulge in kinky sex on occasion, but mostly, he enjoys teasing your clit and nipples until you're a trembling mess. Your cunt will be aching and your honey will be coating your thighs. You will beg him for cock, and you'll have it...when he's good and ready. "That's right, darling. Beg you little slut. You've reached your limit, haven't you? Good, let's push you some more."

Intimate sex with Ian Eames

No doubt this man can deliver some delectable intense sex. But he's a bit of a stickler for the intimate side. He likes thrusting at a slow pace as he gazes down into your needy eyes. You think he does this to tease you. As you badly desire him to rail you. But the slow burn, the build-up of his lovemaking has always delivered some explosive orgasms. So just lay back and enjoy his cock between your legs and his tongue inside your hungry mouth.

Jesuitical sex with James

James doesn't often speak. He is a thinker, a man of action. When he does something, it needs to have a purpose. You have a purpose, a use for him. You weren't exactly certain what that was until he has you naked in his bed, covering your quivering body with hot, wet kisses. "You are part of my soul," he whispers as he enters your tight little core.

Lazy weekend sex with Leo

Leo works hard during the week. When the weekend comes, he wants nothing more than to stay in bed with you. His agenda is to spend time with you, especially between your legs. "Please, malyshka, say it again." He moans as his cock is planted firmly in your cunt. You tell him what he wants to hear, "I love you, my lion."

Tantric sex with Tommy

Tommy is a bit naive when it comes to experimenting with sex. He knows how to do it the good old-fashioned way, but when you tell him about tantric sex he wrinkles his nose. "That some sort of new age stuff?" You laugh, then proceed to show him how it's done. Through sensual kissing, touching, stroking, and petting, you are successful in getting Tommy hard as a rock. "When can I be inside you?" he almost whimpers. "You don't," you whisper against his ear and kiss his temple sweetly. "What?" He is very frustrated. "It's all about our aura and sensual contact, baby boy." He stares at you in disbelief, causing you to laugh again. "Just kidding!" "Oh, I'm so gonna give your bratty pussy a good pounding." He says.

[solarpunkani]

Hey do you happen to know of any resources for someone in Iowa looking to get into native plant gardening? Thanks in advance! (Love your blog btw)

*cracks knuckles* sorry for keeping you hanging since November 3rd, homie, but I'm back home and down to get started!

Before I do, a special reminder that I'm not based in Iowa! I don't think I've ever even set foot in Iowa. I'm a Florida girlie lol. However, I will do my best to give you my advice and find some resources for you!

In my experience, many native plants grow slowly from seed. This could be because I mostly prefer perennials (I am way too lazy to replace an annual every year), but they can take awhile to germinate and an even longer while to size up. I've gotten seeds that say to wait upwards of 3 weeks to see any germination, and that's often after waiting a month or more for proper cold stratification! All of this is just to say--you gotta have a bit of patience when it comes to all gardening, but especially with native plants!

If you can get your hands on some seeds now, they'll likely need cold stratification. Fortunately, cold stratification is happening right now--put the seeds where you want them to grow, and let chilly winters do the work for you! Needing cold stratification basically means the plant has evolved to know it needs to wait until after winter to start germinating, so as things warm back up in spring, your seeds'll start growing!

Once they start growing and get established, they'll really start going--if they're in their perfect conditions, they'll be more than ready to take over a bit and manage on their own! Keep an eye out for watering needs, but generally I find native plants don't need much when it comes to fertilizer and pesticides. If you don't want things to spread a lot, you can always choose to grow certain plants in pots instead--or if you're really determined to grow a plant your soil isn't quite right for, a pot does wonders. My soil isn't very moist, so I grow a good chunk of my swamp milkweeds in pots to keep a better eye on their care.

Iowa's got a handful of growing zones going on, so knowing what the zone for your region is will help you pick the best plants! You can also pick plants known to have grown historically well in your region--I've seen plant range maps break things down by counties for my state, which helps give a good idea of whether it's a good idea for me to grow something touted as a native to my state. It's entirely possible for something to be native to your state, but not your half of the state, for example!

Browsing through a couple of sites, I hope these'll be helpful to you!

This is a link to Iowa Native Plants, which has a nice primer on the importance of native gardening as well as a few guides to native plants in their Finder tab! They also seem to sell a hanfdul of books on native gardening that may be an interesting read for you!

My Home Park appears to have a lot of information on native plants, and sells native plants that can be shipped to your state! I can't say I've ever had a plant shipped to me before, let alone from them (they don't service my state) but it could be worth a shot! If anything else, could be a good source of information! They also have a blog, and a feature that lets you mock up a garden to see what it'd look like (I didn't try it though). They also seem to service North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Maine.

The Tallgrass Prairie Center links to a ton of resources on learning about native plants, planting them, landowner incentive programs, and organizations you can join that are full of others who are passionate about native plants! The Tallgrass Prairie Center itself aims to establish and protect native plants, restore ecosystems, and increase awareness and appreciation of the Tallgrass Prairie Ecosystem. I think their site's definitely worth a look-through, or you can use it as a bouncing off point to find other sites full of info!

The Iowa Native Plant Society is a nonprofit organization full of people who are enthusiastic about native plants! They host field trips, workshops, have a newsletter, and more! It could be a fun way to learn more about native ecosystems on their trips, and if they're anything like the native plant society for my state, the calendar on their site will probably start lighting up with different chapters' native plant sales as we get closer to spring, so keep an eye out! They've also got books and lots of resource links on their site!

Oftentimes when I look up information on how to grow a particular plant in my state, the university extensions office is one of the best resources. As such, I think the Iowa State University's Extension and Outreach website is likely to have some good info for you about gardening! I've also in the past emailed some staff from various offices questions about native gardening and gotten good answers, so they're definitely a resource to be utilized!

I almost forgot to link the Xerces Society! The Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation has a primary focus of protecting insects in the US, but that often goes hand in hand with native plants, so they're a great resource for learning about plants and the insects that rely on them! Especially helpful is their Pollinator Conservation Resource Center, which has lists of plants and suppliers by region! You can also find just their plant lists here!

Speaking of plant lists, The National Wildlife Federation has a list of keystone plants by ecoregion! Keystone plants are highly important, as they're vital to the lifecycle of many species of insect, which then help feed birds and other creatures--you get the picture. I used the National Wildife Federation a good bit when I was writing my Biodiversity Saga on increasing biodiversity in your yard/on your balcony/in your area on a budget.

iNaturalist is a fantastic website for cataloguing the cool insects you find in your new native garden, as well as learning about the variety of plants, animals, insects, etc. that are in your area! Make an account and just vibe around!

Books can be a great resource! Unfortunately, my attention span is frequently lacking when it comes to books, and I definitely haven't read any that focus on Iowa's native flora. However! I've got a few general books that are nice reads, so you can definitely see if you can find these in a library or online (I'm including Thriftbooks links because fuck Amazon).

Hellstrip Gardening by Evelyn J. Hadden is a book I read last month that honestly inspired so many new projects out of me that next year is gonna be busy. Might as well get a healthy dose of inspiration now so you can do some planning and be roaring and ready to go come spring! I liveblogged it on my gardening blog, and shared some of my favorite notes as well!

Attracting Native Pollinators by the Xerces Society is a book that offers a generalized view on why its important, ways you can utilize native plants at any scale from swaths of farmland to a school garden or a small yard, and provides lists of plants that can be good for your region near the end! They also have Gardening for Butterflies, which I honestly haven't read yet, but I checked it out from the library so Mayhaps Soon. PS: you can buy Attracting Native Pollinators and Gardening for Butterflies from the Xerces site directly, and support their work! However. Hoo buddy, the pricing.

(Psst, here's the plant list from Attracting Native Pollinators, don't tell Xerces)

My final message to you, young padawan, is to grow milkweed. If there's a milkweed native to your state, grow it. If there's several native to your region, grow a ton of it. Milkweed is the host plant for Monarchs, but it's also such a high-value nectar source for so many other insects you've just gotta try and grow some in my book. Also a lot of the sites I saw for your state had pictures of blazing star and black eyed susans and let me tell you. Plant those. You'll have so many happy pollinators.

I can't think of anything else. If any Iowa gardeners wanna chime in with their favorite resources and such, feel free to!

[leafyztar]

There once was a bittersweet girl and they called her, "Lemon Girl" She was growing in my garden and I pulled her out by her hair like a weed And like weeds do she only came and grew back again So, I figured this time I might as well let her be

Lemon Girl and me started to get along together I helped her plant her seeds  And we'd mow the lawn in bad weather It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter girl like her So, I got myself a citrus friend

But soon her bittersweet started to rub off on me You'd think smelling like lemon zest would be pretty neat I found out that my friends are more of the savory type And they weren't too keen on compromising with a nice lemon pie

So Lemon Girl and me, we just gotta get along together I helped her plant her seeds  And we'll mow the lawn in bad weather It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter girl like her So, I got myself a citrus friend

But what if I run out of fertilizer? What if the clouds run out of rain? What if Lemon Girl won't grow no longer? What if beaches dry of sugar cane? Oh well

The whales start to beach themselves Tortoise shells tear away from their spines It happens all the time, it happens all the time

Lemon Girl and I, we're gonna live forever Like Snufkin and Little My, we'll get around wherever Lemon Girl and I, we're gonna live forever Like Snufkin and Little My, we'll get around wherever

It's actually pretty easy being nice to a bitter girl like her 'Cause we're the bitterest boys in town Yeah, we're the bitterest guys around And I got myself a citrus friend…

I LOVE THIS SONG :D it's so sweet... I love the message too :3 of course YOU would like the message. SHUT UP, this isn't about you >:(

[sanddusted-wisteria]

Earth and Sky, Ch. 4

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“Wis. Wis, Wis, Wis.” Heidi circled around, putting her hands firmly on Wis’s shoulders. “You just moved to one of the most inhospitable places in the whole Alliance! Now, I’m a native, so I don’t quite mind this place, but that’s ‘cause I have a home! A nice home an’ a nice office! When you’re out in a place like this, you gotta make yourself a nice, welcomin’ home! ‘Cause if you don’t got that place to go to when the goin’ get tough out here, it’ll be real rough on ya!” She let go of Wis’s shoulders, her expression softening. “An’ I know that ‘home’ looks different to everybody…but it looks like to you it has a big, beautiful garden! My job might be ‘architect’ on the business card an’ all… But I think I like buildin’ people homes the most! So I’m gonna help ya, and that’s that!” Wis blinked. Such a heartfelt speech…all because of a catalog page.

Also on AO3

------------

The bright midday sun was only intensified by the massive glass windows and the shiny metal surfaces of the Moisture Farm. It probably would’ve hurt Wis’s eyes, had it not been for the colossal man standing in front of her and Mi-an, blocking most of the light behind him.

“So. Planting.”

Wis and Mi-an stood at attention as Zeke handed both of them a funny-looking tool with a metal square at the end.

“You’re probably used to how they do things in more temperate areas. Not only is there more water, there’s more nutrients in the soil. Not here.”

He crouched down towards the planting plot in between him and the builders, laying out some straw around the edges. “Even if we use raised beds, we still gotta protect seeds from the environment and give them extra nutrients to grow. So we line our seeds up in grids and line them with straw. It’s the Straw Grid technique.” He stood up, lined his own weird square tool up with the edges of the soil grid, and drove it firmly into the ground. The straw was buried, the ends standing up like a mini fence.

“Oh…so if a sandstorm comes by, less of the soil gets blown away…” said Mi-an.

“Yep. And as the seed grows, the roots will hold the soil together a lot more. Which is good, since the straw decays eventually. And that matter gets recycled into the soil for nutrients. So this way, over time, we revitalize the soil to be more fertile for future growing.”

“Interesting…” muttered Wis. “We can’t just add fertilizer?”

“We can, but this way allows us to grow even when we don’t have fertilizer.” Zeke took some more straw out of the bundle that he had brought over and handed some to Wis and Mi-an. “Here. You try laying down a grid.”

Zeke made it look easy. Not only because he was far larger, but also because he’d probably done this thousands and thousands of times. It was hard to get the straw in deep enough, and evenly. Wis ended up hopping on her square shovel with both feet a few times like a pogo stick, which ended up working far better than just shoving it down like Zeke could. Mi-an, who was also struggling a bit, copied her.

“It gets easier with practice,” Zeke said, flat as ever, though Wis swore she could see a glint of amusement in his eye.

The grid laid out, Zeke took a packet of seeds out from one of his pockets. “After the grid gets put down, it’s fairly standard stuff. Bury the seed, but not too much, then give it a good amount of water.” The builders held out their hands, and he dropped several grains of unmilled sandrice into each. “Sandrice. Staple crop all across the Eufaula. Grows faster than a lot of the stuff we have, so it’s a good place to start. Both for you, and for the farm again.”

Wis was no stranger to planting, after years of chores on her Pa’s farm. Dig little holes with your fingers, drop the seeds in, and gently cover them back up.

“That’s pretty much all there is to it,” Zeke said when they all stood up again. “I’ll give you some seeds and a little water, and you’ve already got your planting kits. You can give it a shot when you’ve got the time.”

“Nice!” said Mi-an. “Thank you so much, Zeke!”

“Yeah, thanks. Haven’t gardened in a while, but this is interesting,” said Wis.

Zeke hummed, handing the two the promised sandrice seeds and a small bottle of water. “‘Course. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work. Still a lot of work to do with all these plots to fill.”

------------

Wis waved goodbye to Mi-an when they stepped off the yakmel cart at the train station, turned to head for home, and immediately froze in her tracks. She groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead. How could she forget?

Her property was tiny.

She could barely fit two of every type of machine into her yard and still have enough room to safely walk around. Anything she planted would either be perpetually in the shade of her house, or caught on fire by one of the furnaces.

Entering her yard and dropping her new planting kit off in her storage area, she looked around at the space she had (and didn’t have). Maybe…she could ask for a land expansion. Move the fence out beyond the southwest corner. Then she could move some things around, and set up a little planting area out in the back!

And all that lingered on her mind as she counted up 1000 gols and talked to Heidi a few minutes later about getting that expansion done. Abuzz with anticipation as Heidi was next door at City Hall getting the paperwork ready, Wis’s hands tapped and twitched, itching for something to do.

A furniture catalog on the table caught her eye. It would be a while before Wis had the means to expand her house itself and make room for more furniture, but hell, she was on a streak of dreaming up her dream home. No harm in browsing a little.

Inside were lots of nice furniture sets, from rustic to cute to almost industrial. But what caught Wis’s attention was the outdoor furniture section. First and foremost, a beautiful ivory pergola, pictured standing tall over a lush, wooded garden.

…A garden.

Wis hadn’t planted anything properly for ages. Sure, she took care of a couple houseplants back home, but a whole garden…small trees and bushes providing some much-needed shade, colorful flowers lining one entire edge of the yard, herbs and fruit and veggies fresh for the picking, a nice table and chairs under the pergola, covered by lush vines or ivy, or…

“Ooooh, plannin’ a garden?” A sheaf of papers gently set down on Wis’s shoulder. She looked up to see Heidi, smiling down at her.

“Heh. Just getting ideas. For now I should see if anything can grow at all out back.”

“Hopefully it does! Not too many people outside the Church folks and Zeke do a whole lotta planting out here, so it’d be nice if we can get even more greenery in this place.”

Wis hummed, and moved to shut the catalog to handle the paperwork, but Heidi quickly reached out and pointed at the page that Wis was just looking at. “Ohhh, that pergola’s real nice lookin’! Reckon if you get a lotta plants growin’, it’d make a great centerpiece! You wanna get that, too?”

“Ah…it’s a little…pricey,” Wis said sheepishly, eyes trailing down to the price tag: 1600 gols. Even more expensive than the land expansion. “Maybe later.”

Heidi hummed, brow furrowed. “How’s this? This catalog is for an Ataran store, so I place orders for folks. I can cover, say…a quarter the price?”

“W-what?” Wis’s eyes widened. “No, no, no, that’s fine, I’ll wait until I have enough for it.”

“Wis, c’mon! Your very own garden! You gotta have some good furniture in there to sit and admire all your hard work!”

“S-seriously, I’ll get it eventually. You shouldn’t need to pay a single gol for my side project…”

“Wis. Wis, Wis, Wis.” Heidi circled around, putting her hands firmly on Wis’s shoulders. “You just moved to one of the most inhospitable places in the whole Alliance! Now, I’m a native, so I don’t quite mind this place, but that’s ‘cause I have a home! A nice home an’ a nice office! When you’re out in a place like this, you gotta make yourself a nice, welcomin’ home! ‘Cause if you don’t got that place to go to when the goin’ get tough out here, it’ll be real rough on ya!”

She let go of Wis’s shoulders, her expression softening. “An’ I know that ‘home’ looks different to everybody…but it looks like to you it has a big, beautiful garden! My job might be ‘architect’ on the business card an’ all… But I think I like buildin’ people homes the most! So I’m gonna help ya, and that’s that!”

Wis blinked. Such a heartfelt speech…all because of a catalog page. “I, uh… Th-thanks. I’ll…pay you back then, when I get it…”

“Wis…” Heidi groaned, before standing tall over her and fixing her a hard stare. “I’ll say it again. When you get started on that garden, you will order that pergola, and you will get a 25% discount, and you will get the garden of your dreams. Am. I. Clear?”

A shudder ran down Wis’s spine. Her lips pursed. “Um. Y…yes! Understood…!”

In an instant, the warm smile was back on Heidi’s face. “Good! Now, let’s handle that paperwork, shall we…?”

------------

Dear Ma and Pa,

Sorry I couldn’t write last week. Things have been kind of hectic. Had to repair a watering machine for the local farm after it got attacked by a bunch of lizard…men. It was wild. Luckily that’s all settled down…not sure about the lizardmen, though.

But in other news, I learned how to plant stuff! Yeah, even out here in the sand. The growing technique’s a bit different than fields and greenhouses, since you need to account for the rough environment. Not sure what exactly can grow in someplace so arid, but the farm here’s got a bunch of different kinds of seeds that they’ve grown here for ages. Might try and experiment!

Hope you guys are well. Say hi to Nia for me if you see her.

Love you,

Wis

------------

Hi Honey!

Those lizards sound scary! We saw some pictures of them in the paper, but they were all from really far away. I hope you’re not fighting those lizardmen…be sure to stay safe! But wow, the farm situation sounds even more dicey! Not surprised that you need the oomph of a machine to be able to grow enough to feed an entire city out there. But that’s just the thing for you, isn’t it? It’s great that you’re finally being given lots of good work!

Wow. It doesn’t look right, seeing that little seedling just…in the sand. Incredible that the Sandrock settlers were able to survive that long without having to rely on imports. Nia happened to be over when we got your letter and pulled out the photos, and when she saw them, she immediately lit up! Apparently she and Prof. Luo are busy cooking up some seeds that are supposed to be hardier! Looks like the desert’s perfect testing ground for that. She says that she’ll write to you ASAP once she gets her hands on some seeds to send you.

In the meantime though, we’re sending over some of Pa’s berry seeds! Plus some snacks, of course. A nice, familiar taste of home. Well, assuming that you manage to grow it out there. Let us know how they grow! Hopefully your Pa won’t want to have you start selling crops out in Sandrock… Take care out there, okay?

Love,

Ma

------------

Wisty!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi hi hi!! I told the professor about how you started growing stuff out in the desert! He thinks it’s interesting! There’s not a whole lot of documentation on Sandrock’s growing techniques…guess no one else really cared about how the Sandrockers survived out there… Which sucks!! That stuff’s important to the Alliance’s history! Sandrock might be a tiny part of it, but it’s still a city with a lengthy story!

We still had some grant money left over for our seed project, so I’m gonna send you some of our stuff! And guess what…we have wisteria, too! So now you can go outside whenever you like and point at it and cackle and say that it’s you >:) (Still avoiding that corner of the Botanical Gardens out of pun-repulsed instinct…)

I’d say it’s a present, but since it’s on grant money I think I’m obligated to say that it is strictly research material. Uh-huh. Totally. Not a belated housewarming gift for my bestest friend. It totally is don’t worry about it

And I know what you’re gonna say, and NO, you don’t need to get me anything back. Well, nothing like a gift, anyway. All I need is some notes and pictures every week on how all the plants are doing! That locks it down as all research, and it’ll be on our grant’s tab!

I hope that everything grows! Maybe it’s the madness of finals, but all these plants and their seeds are kinda like my babies at the moment. But if not…well, that’s science, baby…

Your parents are both doing good, by the way! Went to your place out of habit last Saturday…brain still thinks we hang out all the time. Your Ma’s cooking’s still really good. Wish we could just pack a bunch of lunchboxes and ship them to you…without having them spoil in the burning hot desert…

Stay safe, okay? I keep hearing things about bandits and lizard creatures out there from the newspaper… Don’t go diving straight into trouble!!

XOXO,

Nia

------------

Wis, sweetie,

Another package for ya! I saw your Aunt Solanum and Aunt Mentha the other day at the market, and they asked me how you’ve been holding up! Well, I told them about that garden of yours that you’re planning, and they just about jumped for joy! They asked me to give you some of their seeds too. Pomatoes should do just fine, they can grow in garbage dumps…but maybe the desert sands will finally be the thing that tames the almighty mint. Or maybe not…best to still keep it in its own quarantine pot.

I thought that’d be the end of it, but then Solanum went ahead and talked to your Grandpa…and then Grandpa wrote to just about the entire surviving branch of the Cyprens family to get seeds… So you’ve got a lot of ‘em on your hands now!! Sorry for front loading you so much…tried to get all of them to send it to ya in batches, at least. It’s not like you’ve got the time or water to get everything up! But hey, at least you won’t have to worry about any more food shortages, hahaha!

Love,

Pa

------------

Hi Ma, Pa, Nia…

Thank you for all the seeds, but…I think I have enough now! It’s really generous of you and the rest of the family, but (and I say this as politely as I can) can you guys…not send any more?? If you could spread the word to the family too, that’d be great. I only just got my homestead expanded by like a couple dozen square feet. It’s not a proper farm! I don’t all of these to go to waste…

But I’ll plant a couple of these to start! Some of these I know already can be grown here from what I saw from what our farm has in stock. We’ll see how it goes…

Love,

Wis

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Two whole crates.

Two whole crates full of seeds, bulbs, and starter kits.

Ripping open her second cousin’s latest package of tulip bulbs, Wis regarded the crates with a sigh. She had enough to start a proper botanical garden with a farm on the side, and yet she only had the confines of her yard to deal with.

She’d already planted the sandrice that Zeke had given her, and it was taking well. The only question was what to plant next. Certainly not starved for options. The line of soil that Wis had tilled and gridded would only hold a fifth of all her seeds at most.

Reaching an arm in and shuffling around randomly, Wis picked out a seed sachet. Parsley from her aunt. An herb patch sounded nice…just about the only readily available seasoning around these parts was salt. Everything else had to be imported from elsewhere, and Owen and Arvio both sold them for a markup. Wis reached back in and grabbed a few more of her aunt’s seeds—rosemary, thyme, peppercorn, oregano…that was a good start. Two plots each.

Shuffling around some more in the crates, Wis pulled out a bag of daffodil bulbs. Nice colorful flowers on either side of the herbs… Out came the latest bag of tulip bulbs and a bag of hyacinth bulbs, and into the soil the bulbs went.

Next up was a bag of…wisteria seeds. Wis let out a snort on instinct. There she was. She put it back into the box. This absolutely had to go on the pergola. When she could get it. Plus, it would be a bad idea to have to deal with one of the most aggressive growers a gardener could have without any kind of dedicated structure for it.

On and on she went, shuffling through the crates and planting whatever chance had her pull. Most went into the ground plots, others went into pots that Wis carried inside. By the time she figured she had enough, one of the two crates was almost empty. She crammed everything into a single crate and dusted off her dirty hands. That should certainly do for now. She grabbed her watering can and opened the spout of her water tank. It filled only about three-quarters of the way before the glugging of the tank fell silent. Hm. It had been a while since the last refill.

Wis decided to empty the can first before deciding how much more she needed. She only managed to fully water three of the plots…of a dozen. Plus 7 pots. And with her machines, she was going to need—

“—35 units of water comes out to…800 gols…!” Burgess said with a strained smile as he typed everything into his cash register.

Wis flinched. “Ah. Well…maybe take out 5 of those…?”

“That brings it down to around 686… Are you sure you need this much?” Burgess’s brow furrowed. “I know builders need more water than most people, but this is a lot!” His eyes widened. “N-not that I’m accusing you of anything, of course! M-maybe it’s just a leak in your piping or something! I-I just want to make sure that not a drop of water gets wasted!”

“Eheh…I’m just trying to start a garden,” Wis said sheepishly. “I thought I was gonna start small and all, but I guess I just lost track…”

In an instant, Burgess brightened back up to his usual sunny self. “Oh, how lovely! More greenery is always great! No wonder you need all this. If I could, I’d give you a discount to incentivize growing and stuff, but that’s against the rules. And what kind of water supervisor would I be if I let anyone break the rules?! But for that garden, I hope you know that you have my full support!”

Wis waved a hand. “It’s fine. I’ll just take 20 units for now and start growing like half of them.”

“Right-o!” Burgess punched the new numbers in with gusto. “470 gols, then! Oh, but by the way…”

Wis looked up from fishing the change out of her wallet. “Hm?”

“It won’t get you a whole lot, but you can maybe make a dew collector or two to get a lil extra water! It adds up over time, trust me! And you’re a builder, so you can get one up lickity-split!”

“Dew collectors… What are they, exactly? Moisture extractors?”

“No…not quite like the Hydrogel in the moisture farm… It’s more like a tarp that dew settles on in the morning! Director Qi should have a diagram for it…he said something about having the ‘most optimal surface area’ for it, I think.”

“That does sound useful,” Wis said, handing over the gols. “From what I can tell, I’m gonna be needing a lot more water…”

“Seems so! A-and you shouldn’t have to be spending a bunch of money every week just for that… It supports the town, but you should support yourself, too!”

Wis let out a chuckle, loading a barrel of water onto her dolly. “Hopefully not! At this rate, my plants are always gonna get fed before me.”

“Ack-! U-um!” Burgess yiped. “Don’t—don’t starve yourself, please! Plants can always handle a little underwatering but—”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Wis exclaimed, waggling her hands. “D-don’t worry. But I’ll see about that dew collector…”

------------

“Builder.”

No hello, no greetings, no pleasantries.

Qi was working away at something, again. Always working. Sequestered away in this monolith of a building. He looked up when Wis pushed the front door open, still every bit as inscrutable as every time before.

But just as Wis was about to open her mouth, his brow raised. “Ah, right. The Hydrogel has been assembled, correct?”

Wis nodded. “Got it up two days ago.”

“I see. Everything in order then?”

Once again, Wis was just about to respond, but Qi plowed on anyway. “Actually, don’t answer that. I know my designs are flawless. There shouldn’t be any issues. Thankfully it was but a minor diversion from my main project,” he said nonchalantly, waving a dismissive hand.

Wis suppressed the urge to scowl. No thanks from her for the diagram, then. Clearly he could thank himself enough. Best to just press on, then. “Uh-huh. Well, I need a diagram. Burgess said you had one for a dew collector?”

“Oh, that? Yes. Five disks, then.”

Wis counted out the data disks as Qi held out a hand. “I got a bit overzealous with planting and—”

“I need not know the purpose of your request,” the director cut in. “Just give me the disks, and I shall fulfill it. This exchange needs nothing extraneous.”

Wis snapped her lips shut. Alright… Try to make idle conversation? Extraneous. But stand around in a dangerous ruin and blabbing about robots and time travel…?

She let out a huff as she passed the disks to Qi. The blip of irritation seemed to go unnoticed by Qi, who just gave her a curt nod. “Good. This will be in your mailbox tomorrow morning. Now, if you please…” His gaze flickered toward the door behind Wis.

She didn’t need to be told twice, shouldering her bag and turning to leave. “Yep. Thanks,” she muttered.

She shook her head once she was outside and well out of his view. Why was he always like this? Despite the relationship between researcher and builder being nothing less than pure collaboration, this one guy seemed to think that he was above it all. Everything seemed to bother him; everything seemed to be a waste of time. Everything except space and robots, evidently. Whatever scraps of civility he had were buried under a thick veneer of unspoken judgment, a ruling that no one outside of a place like Vega 5 would be able to pass. If he didn’t make such precise diagrams, including super important things like the Hydrogel, Wis would call into question the necessity of having someone like him in the town at all.

Returning to her yard, she slid her bag off next to her workbench with another sigh. That was just the way Director Qi Heng was, she supposed. From the way things sounded, he was a fixture of this town, despite how little he participated in it.

Wis took a deep breath in, and out, trying to let her simmering blood cool off. Patient. She needed to be patient. She just got here, and she was already getting huffy over someone that wasn’t immediately friendly. Maybe he was an ass, but if she was an ass as well, that wouldn’t help anything. She just needed to focus on building. And the people that actually seemed to care about her. Get Science Man’s errands done and over with, and stay out of his way.

Looking over her new garden patch, she pursed her lips.

She had better things to do than try and win the favor of Science Man, anyway.

------------

A/N: *Always Sunny episode title card* Wis attempts to win the favor of Science Man

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[cozmicclown]

Welcome Home Secret Audio Tapes Transcribed (Accurately): Tape #4 Frank & Barnaby

Still posting these because the secret invisible transcripts under the audio tapes aren’t 100% accurate, and I like things to be exact. I may be motivated to post more of these if I spent less time doing them up nice. I’d also be WAY more motivated if I could find that special specific American typewriter font with the rounded Tuscan serifs used in the real WH script pieced together on that secret page. I’m beginning to suspect that’s a CUSTOM font.

Yes I know the last one I posted was audio tape #2, I’ve got #3 written out but not done up/aged, but I had this one finished and if I didn’t post it now it would be harder for me to get to it later.

Full Written Transcription Under Cut

Page 1

EXT. FRANKS FRONT GARDEN - DAY

SCENE FADES IN, AS FRANK FRANKLY, HOMES MOST STUDIOUS AND DETAIL-ORIENTED NEIGHBOUR, IS CAUGHT MID SENTENCE EXPLAINING SOME FINE DETAIL OF HIS METICULOUS GARDEN.

FRANK

“Blue, don't actually have any blue pigmentation. They have to grow in soil that is basic as well, so the pine straw should be left for the other beds-“

BARNABY B. BEAGLE, LARGE, BLUE, STAND-UP COMEDIAN CANINE (WHO GETS AROUND A LOT FOR A SUPPOSED LAY ABOUT), INTERRUPTS FRANK AS HE STROLLS UP THE PATH TO FRANKS FRONT GARDEN.

BARNABY

“You're tellin' me that these flowers are liars, Franky?”

FRANK

(Exasperated sigh as he notices Barnaby approaching.)

“Urgh, I'm not telling you that these flowers are liars, Barnaby. I'm talking about how these flowers are specially selected to look this way.”

FRANK GESTURES TO HIS CORNFLOWERS IN THEIR POTS.

BARNABY

“Eh, bein' blue isn't anything special, pal. Don't ya know that blue is all the rage nowadays?”

FRANK

“I don't think people are painting themselves blue, frankly. Are you saying your fur color isn't natural?”

FRANK SUGGESTS THIS WITH A SLIGHT CHUCKLE.

BARNABY

(Feigning insult.)

“I beg your pardon!? I'm a natural beauty, as far as you know.”

Page 2

FRANK

“Heh. I doubt you're any sort of beagle. I've never seen any blue dog before in my life! Now, if you don't mind, we'd like to continue tending to my flowers in peace.”

BARNABY

“You're gonna have to do more than tend to 'em if you want 'em to grow up nice and big. You know what they say: you gotta entertain your plants to make 'em happy.”

FRANK

“Heh, That's true... but I'm not going to let your snappy patter poison my petunias

I'd hardly call your material entertaining, much less fertilizer.”

BARNABY

(Subtle standup tone.)

“Oh, don't you worry, Frank. The last thing I'll do is overwhelm your orchid. Your plants all seem clover it.”

FRANK

(Annoyed groan before taking a deep breath.)

“Uuurrggggh. Not with these puns again. You're going to make all of my hard work wilt! Your humor is too dry for my impatiens.”

BARNABY

“Hey, hey! Not a daisy goes by where you don't get impatient... but hey, I'm just pollen your leg.”

FRANK

(Another deep breath and annoyed groan.)

“Uuurgggg. Will. You. Just. Get. Out of here!? My plants don't need your ridiculous jokes to grow; go find an audience for your silly gags somewhere else.”

Page 3

BARNABY

(Starting walking away backwards.)

“Alright, alright, I'll grow... But every dogwood has his day! I'll still poppy in from time to time, even if you're still a little rough around the hedges!”

FRANK GROANS AND FUMES AT EACH PUN AS BARNABY GETS FURTHER AND FURTHER AWAY.

FRANK

“Hrrrrr, hm. Urgh, honestly with him! I don't know how you can stand to be around him, Wa//=Y.”

End Scene

[magick-musings]

Hey!! How do I transmute energy? Like from someone’s hex on me? Or overall how to do this? Do u have any resources or recommendations or anything 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

So... here's the thing. I'm an intuitive and eclectic practitioner, and pretty private about my personal workings (as you should be too. Can't be giving out the blueprints and schematics of your lair with all the secret passages circled in red ink. There's a reason this shit was supposed to be kept on the down low). All I can say is that there are no crystals and jars lying around my house to break or steal or otherwise render useless. Maybe someone else can point you to an obscure grimoire or a shiny crystal to spend big bucks on to solve all your problems, but that's not how I do things. I don't have a spell for you, only theory.

Hopefully you know the basics of energy work and warding and aura manipulation, and a general understanding of animism and alchemy and whatever divination method you use to receive messages from the many types of incorporeal. Experience in astral workings would also be good too honestly. If not, you can search em on my blog there's definitely more than a few master posts here to get you started.

As we've all heard, good defense is the best offense so start with banishing, cleansing and warding, followed by a recharge. This is a good time for any aura/energy manipulation on yourself as well as your spaces. Gotta start with a blank canvas. If this is gibberish to you... girl idk get to studying bc transmutation is not beginner shit. If you got all that down tho...

First off, having the outer layer of your ward be 'sticky' is a good start. Instead of energy bouncing back, it gets stuck, trapped. this can turn into a layer of grime though, so you have to have a purification process for it. Think like... how plants take in CO2 (deadly to humans) and give us oxygen (life sustaining) and in the same vein, what we exhale is what they inhale. Or oysters, filter feeders in the ocean who take in detritus and sustain themselves off of it while returning cleaner water to the ecosystem. Chicken manure is used as fertilizer for crops that feed us. Spiders catch pests in their webs.

If you're into animism, nurture a symbiotic relationship. Feed the harmful energy to something that lives on it, and in exchange for nourishing it, the 'waste' it gives off is something helpful to you. There are a lot of ways to go about this, I encourage you to use your imagination. Look around at what you got, and do the best you can with that. Transmutation is all around us if you just know where to look.

Either way. Once it's purified, you can apply it to whatever you want. Wards are a great start though. A self sustainable ward goes a whole long way towards peace of mind.

My main piece of advice is never do the transmutation inside your own energetic body. (Well, not never, but that's mad advanced and if you have to ask this you're not ready for all that). (This is said with love and care and concern not condescension). (Exceptions made for shadow work, or any working done with your own energy. That is also transmutation, also related to the aura and astral work i mentioned above, and a whole other beast entirely). Externalize it, separate the malignant energy from yourself if it isn't already (aka caught in the wards before it could get to you and/or banished etc), and then host the purification process outside of yourself. Also, dont be scared to ask your spirit guides/gods/ancestors/etc for help, if you work with any.

Trust your intuition, ask your guides for, yknow, guidance, and don't be too scared to actually try something new or experimental.

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hi! I’ve been following all your AU’s since they started and I love all of them! I think my favorite is actually turning out to be the Kaiju au though. Seeing as that’s my favorite, I wanted to ask something about it.

So, you said that the fruit and even the soil on the island is overly fertile and nutrient filled, will Yuu, who is still only a teenager, get affected by their long term stay on the island?🤔 Like, will they grow differently, have their DNA or abilities altered at all? I would see them growing bigger than average, growing faster, getting stronger, just all of the human possible abilities that the Top Evolved of humans can achieve! Like being less affected by extreme weather, better eyesight, better hearing etc.☺️

I love your writing and am waiting very excitedly for more stuff to come out!😄🥰

If they aren’t taken can I either be 🍄 or ❄️ anon please?😊 Stay healthy and get plenty sleep! And don’t forget to drink your water! 🥰💙

Hello there, 🍄 Anon! :D ( ❄️ Anon is also acceptable since those hadn’t been taken yet)

That means a lot to hear that you love all the AUs, and that you’ve been following them since I started working on them! ;;v;; And I get it! The Kaiju!AU is starting to turn into one of my favorites, though I love all of them. >v<

Anyway, I did indeed say that the soil was very rich. It may not be kaiju related (though still has giant monsters), but I drew inspiration for the island from the game Monster Hunter World and how the island’s environment is constantly changing and growing with vibrant life with the migration of the Elder Dragons like Zorah Magdaros. If you’ve not played the game or beat the main story before it goes into the Iceborne expansion, I don’t want to spoil it too much because the mystery and discovery of it was the fun part (at least for me)!

Anyway, the soil creating such a nutrient rich environment for plant-life was developed through the magic influence of the kaiju that lived on the island over the years to sustain themselves. Yes, they do eat the prey species that dwell on the island or in the water (and as MIRA mentioned in the second chapter, kaiju can eat one another to grow stronger), but for the most part it’s easier for them to consume the fruits, berries, roots, etc. across the island as it gives them the same amount of energy—if not more—than just consuming meat.

That doesn’t exactly mean Leona in this AU is more inclined to eat his veggies though! 😂

Now, as for the effects that it has on humans themselves…well, you’ve also gotta keep in mind normal human biology. In most cases, boys will stop growing around 16-18 years old whereas girls will stop growing around 14-16 years old (according to Google, so now you know why Riddle looked up to see if he would still grow! 😆). However, you do raise an interesting point that there would be long term effects to Yuu (or any human) dwelling on the island for a long period of time the more they consume the food grown from the soil.

That being said, however, I’d imagine that because the long-term effects of the food are largely unknown to the researchers, they likely would have started cultivating their own food sources using soil they brought from the mainland. Sure, they have eaten the food on the island, but for the most part it was in emergencies as only select few are willing or even potentially testing to see the effects it has on the human body. Meanwhile, some people didn’t care and just went for it because hey, giant food that tastes great? Why not!

Effects wise though, the amount of nutrients that a human would gain from said island’s bounty would be akin to a “super food” times ten. Health wise, those who might have had problems either physically or internally would find themselves essentially getting “repaired” from the inside due to the magic/energy that essentially flows through the island’s ecosystem. The reason being for this is that—much like how Crowley said that rest and maintaining a healthy lifestyle can help clear the built-up blot—the food on the island essentially helps to purge the blot in kaiju after a territorial fight. Hence, why the food can purge toxins and other unhealthy things in a human’s body—it treats it the same way as it would blot!

Now, it’s not a “be all, cure all” sort of deal, but pretty darn close given how tiny we are compared to the kaiju themselves!

Speed, strength, sight…it does help improve it in humans for sure, behaving like the super foods would and essentially leading their systems and body to a healthier lifestyle like having more energy to move around and do things and increasing cell regeneration to heal the body faster while they sleep. However, scientists have been observing the DNA samples of those who consistently consume food from the island and noted that the strains seem…healthier. Segments that once suggested a history of biological health issues have been either replaced by a new healthy strain or are simply…no longer there, filled in by a strange energy (hint: it’s magic, but there is a very, very, very small chance of the person developing magical abilities like the kaiju and may manifest in the family tree somewhere. In Yuu’s/reader’s case, though, you’re free to have fun with that as one of the lucky ones if that’s what you want!).

Yuu is definitely going to start developing some new physical capabilities the longer they’re on the island surrounded by kaiju and eating the food available, that much is true. But…that’s only the beginning behind what I have planned for our intrepid main character/reader. One I shall delve into lore wise as I progress in the chapters and random little skits~ >w>

That’s all I’ve got off the top of my head, and some things may adjust as ideas come to me! I’m still developing this world as I go now that I’ve got the base worldbuilding concepts down, and you guys are the ones who ask the interesting questions that get the ol’ noodle doodle brain thinking. It’s fun, and it delves into the speculative biology/evolution aspect of worldbuilding that I love so much! Keep throwing more worldbuilding questions at me, and I shall be a happy faun~! >w<

Thanks again for stopping by, remember to drink water and eat good food! :D

Also, in case you guys have never heard of it: speculative evolution focuses on hypothetical scenarios in the evolution of life, and a significant form of fictional biology. Think of it as how writers speculate the type of environment that an animal or a being lives in as well as how their biology allows them to survive and adapt to it or how they developed/evolved natural resistances over time! Like how giraffes developed long necks over generations to be able to reach the leaves in the tall trees, or how apes developed the use of tools to obtain food easier. 

[rainmustfallts4]

Rain Must Fall (Reaper’s Rewards Special) ◇ #005

⊶⊰Information & Index⊱⊷⊶⊰Ep. 1⊱⊷⊶⊰Chronological Tag⊱⊷

Reaper’s Rewards Special: ⊶⊰Latest⊱⊷ ⊶⊰From the Beginning⊱⊷ ⊶⊰All Reaper’s Rewards Posts⊱⊷

─────────────⊶⊰◇⊱⊷─────────────

Week 2 is here baby!! I actually didn’t realize it was time because it feels like it was only a couple of days since the first one lol I only found out because it started while I was working on another challenge c:

These are our tasks for this week:

Step 1: More plants! I already had an apple planted but that doesn’t count.

Just doing that was enough to unlock these pants!

I went for the striped swatch. What do you think? c: (note: I forgot to change when I got these so this picture is from after I finished this week up)

Because the new plants are trees, I had to extend the garden (twice) because there wasn’t enough room and they kept spawning outside of the greenhouse whenever she planted them.

Fert fert fert, fert fert fert, fertizile~ FERTILIZE~

So, I got these potions from last week without realizing it. I was hoping it would fill her motives but it literally just makes her happy lol

Huh, I guess even celebrities are getting in on this event. I gotta get a move on, no way am I gonna let Judith Ward beat me D<

Look, they are ready to be caught!

How many [FISH] does it take to get to the center of [A REAPER EVENT]?

One – Two – THREE!

“Aren’t too shabby” how dare you game. My fishing skills are amazing!

Oh, the mail lady has lost her mind again lmao Sorry, but I don’t think my mailbox likes you back. You should just accept it and move on.

They better not be charging me for these letters.

Satisfaction points? 😮 Oh right, I think I need the potion of youth for it, I forgot. I also forgot to take cuttings lol Hopefully, they add that as a mission later because I’m not gonna remember.

[ayarnofpearls]

Since Alastor is girlie pop:

I needed to draw them bonding and kicking legs together. They are bonding over favorite body disposal methods during a sleep over.

(UH so I'll info dump about these under the cut lmao bc I love talking about death too much. Plus relationship dynamics!)

I need to work on Scurris feet more, because as a squirrel she can totally do shit like this:

And a lot of that has to do with the feet, which is part of why I draw her bare foot a lot. Part of her thing is that she's only really a physical fighter- she does lightly use her magic but girlie has to get good. Meanwhile she's gonna crawl up walls for pouncing advantage.

And yes Alastor still has his monocle on, (Scurri took her glasses off) He...might sleep with it on. I can't decide what'd be funnier. 🤔 this actually might be before this doodle now that I think about it.

@sunstar-of-the-north

I like to think given the time period Alastor knew where the hog farms were for body disposal. There's a bunch of old tales about pigs that they will eat anything in their pen and if a pig tastes human blood you gotta put it down because it'll get aggressive and try to go after people idk about the second one but pigs will absolutely eat humans! A lil prep before hand and well nomnom.

The gator bait is more of a joke because I don't think they are that effective at complete consumption but if he plotted it right he maybe could fool authorities that it was a gator death. Forensics wasn't as good back then.

Dinner is dinner, though it's not said if he was a cannibal in life or if he started in death.

My favorite body disposal method is tossing that body in a hole and planting a tree over it actually but what I mean by fertilizer here is the nitrogen gas frozen body then pulverized version. However composting does yield lovely fertilizer as well.

Aquamation is using water for cremation type effect leaving only bones behind for later powedering in a cremulator.

Funeral pyre is like you think, only instead of the 'viking funeral' which will burn out before cremation it's more of an open air bonfire with the body in the middle. Loved ones or hired people will continually feed the fire until completion. These can be lovely ceremonies as loved ones can bring flowers or other burnable memorabilia to add to the fire.

...

This actually all futher plays into the opposite but complementary nature of Scurri vs Alastor. Alastor of course thinks of the dead in terms of meat vs Scurri thinking of them in terms of meaningful disposition. Design wise I like that they are two sides of the same coin.

Scurri has to be a physical brawler vs Alastors magic allowing him distance in fights, he can dip dive dodge but could you imagine him kicking someone in the face? Highly unlikely. Scurri has to dress for fighting whenever possible and Alastor is afforded his sense of style that would otherwise make fist fighting difficult. Scurri being my self insert would actually like to wear delicate clothing but isn't afforded that luxury yet. Same with her short hair. Her tail is huge weak point I joke with my friends it's a 4 feet long handle attached to her spine so she keeps her hair short, dont need ANOTHER thing for opponents to grab onto. Vs Alastor who if he has a tail it would be comparatively shorter. Fucking try grabbing his tail. You can't because you're dead for trying.

Alastor is a prey animal that has completely overcome his form, Scurri is doing her best okay.

So why do they hang out and eventually become queer platonic partners? They make each other laugh. Yeah Jessica Rabbit said it best. Ace icon she is.

"What do you see in that guy?"

"He makes me laugh."

Anyway this wandered a little from the point BUT I do plan on actually writing a profile. Usually my inserts are just me in hats but I reworked Scurri and then you know, she did kill a guy to go to Hell which (knock on wood) I have most definitely not done. So she's both me and not me. Love that for her.

I have a whole lore background and she doesn't even go to the Hotel until her 3rd year of being in Hell due to finding a found family (tm) and such.

[victorluvsalice]

-->Okay, that’s enough Build/Buy shenanigans – time to actually get the trio DOING stuff! Smiler got sent to the new barn basement to put away their nectar, clean the maker, then squash up some more grapes, while I told Alice to lick herself clean and finish up her delicate bracelet and Victor to clean up the pet poop on the back porch and then head upstairs to bed. XD After taking a moment to check the calendar (and to cancel the pop-up holiday “Neighborhood Brawl” as it just isn’t my scene), I checked in on Alice – she not only finished her bracelet at “excellent” quality, she also developed a Like for Gemology in the process! Right after pinching her finger working the wire, so you know she was serious. :p I got her a Crystal Charging Grid and put her new bracelet out there to charge (it has the crystal that reduces negative moodlets faster, so we want it charged up), then had her go and stop Shock from eating chicken feed. Fortunately, one scolding is all it took for Shock to finally learn that she shouldn’t eat trash, and she and Alice had an adorable bonding moment right afterward. Awwww~ It’s nice when the pets actually behave!

Anyway – after opening up the MySim capsule she picked up a couple of sessions ago (just another Chef Gino; I promptly sold it), I had Alice scavenge (she found a couple of common upgrade parts) then head to bed to top up her energy. Smiler, meanwhile, after finishing up their nectar, got put on “make mechanisms” duty for a bit because I’m still working toward that Servo, damn it. Once they were done with that, they fed Toothy the cowplant, repaired a broken water collector, recycled the resultant trash pile (plus some more wraith wax) and played with Shadow…

--->And then 5 AM rolled around, and the farm chores could begin in earnest! I woke Victor up to tend to his greenhouse – only to discover he had spoiled food in his inventory and instead sent him to take care of that (and clean out the fridge too while he was at it). Smiler, as usual, got put on chicken duty, spreading a little feed and cleaning the coop, while Alice got sent to harvest the prairie grass in Moory’s pen (finding a hematite crystal – the kind that makes your Sim functionally immortal when charged – and a bottle of energy nectar in the process; the latter went into the aging racks downstairs). Victor rewarded himself for a good clean-up job with a Minty Mocha cupcake breakfast, then I had him get in his “gardening” outfit and sent him into the greenhouse to plant some fresh oversized crops and tend the garden. Alice moved on from taking care of the prairie grass to taking care of Moory (the cow needed a thorough clean today), while Smiler did a quick sort of the trash (gotta get those recyclables) before heading back to the chickens to chat with them and gather the eggs (three normal ones, two hatchable ones – the latter got sold as I’m not interested in more chickens at the moment). I then had Smiler join Victor in the greenhouse to apply some super vitality fertilizer to the new oversized crops, while Alice cleaned out Moory’s shed –

-->And then, out by the recycle machine, transformed into a werewolf! Because it had been a little while since she hung out in Beast form, and I figured it was about time she did some werewolf stuff. Like marking her territory in the front yard. XD I was THEN going to have her do some more scavenging and the like –

[solarpunknow]

A weekend in a solarpunk future

Today was quite the busy day- and it was spent almost entirely outdoors.

This morning was the monthly 'get to know the plants around you' meetup. The idea behind this group is that 3 people (This time it was me, A., and C.) who are very familiar with the native plants around here and their uses, as well as the invasive species around here and their uses, lead a group through one of the local parks, and we teach the new comers what we know. We get a lot of people who have just moved to town and aren't yet familiar with the local ecosystems, those who didn't grow up foraging or working with plants, and of course some retirees who are looking to connect with nature in a way that they couldn't during their working lives back in the 2010s and 2020s.

We started by going over plants that get confused by beginners a lot (western bleeding heart vs herb robert, mahonia vs holly, that sort of thing), then moved on to the most common and vigorous native plants, and how each of us uses them in our lives (stinging nettle for tea, pesto, soup, the fiber for cloth, etc). We finish out the meetup by identifying the most... shall we say, vigorous of the invasive plants, and how to safely remove them (I mean, some have sap that can hurt you, so it's good to point those ones out). Some make tasty food, but we discussed how to safely compost the rest of them.

Gotta be honest, turning a problem (invasive species) into a resource (fertilizer) fills me with a sense of satisfaction like no other. C. usually takes the ones that are good for making fertilizer (invasive buttercup, bindweed, Hyacinthoidess, etc); I'll take the English Ivy and Himalayan blackberries home because my pet goats love to eat them. They also love bindweed, but I can share.

Anyway, we show the new folks how to identify and remove them, and then we put their new skills to the test. It's really starting to make a noticeable effect in the areas we visit, and I have to hope that every one we teach keeps practicing on their own.

Of course, removing the invasive species is only one part of the solution, but that's a whole different post.

This afternoon was a work party at the community/foodbank garden, which is always a good time and opportunity to connect with others. Back in the day I would've been confused by what a "community/foodbank" garden was, but honestly, it works. People who can, come and work in the garden and take what they will use for the next week. People who aren't able to donate their physical skills come by the food bank and are able to get the food they'll use in a week. It used to be that people thought there would be too many "takers" and not enough "workers", but it turns out that working in large groups, in close connection with the land, knowing that you're helping not only yourself but others in your community is hugely motivating for a large segment of the population. It's also awesome because the people who run the garden are super passionate about sustainable gardening and figuring out how to make gardening accessible to everyone in the community who wants to, so people feel comfortable coming to learn and then taking the knowledge and skills back to their neighborhood hub/commons gardens. Really, in the past ten years, the number of people who have started incorporating native plants, started mulching, stopped pulling out plants that support native insects, built rainwater and grey water irrigation systems and so on has really blossomed. The city is so much greener (and cooler) than it used to be, both metaphorically and literally.

Speaking of greywater, that's tomorrow's project. This evening is for listening to the chorus frogs and relaxing on the back porch.