#i got up less than half an hour ago so i’m still half asleep

[randum-famdoms]

Man the jumpscare I got when I saw I’d been mentioned in a post by someone I don’t know lol.

In case you’re still curious, I did in fact get my number by first searching Goncharov and then clicking on the official fandom tag - both while logged in. No filters were used, just the number under the official fandom tag. Also it was on mobile, an iPhone and I’m in America and NOT using a vpn. Idk if that affects anything tho. Sometimes country borders make shit weird.

Here’s a screenshot I took less than a minute ago using the same exact process as when I made my original post. Seems like no new fics have been posted in the fandom tag in a long while.

Also, here’s some proof that no filters were used to make the number smaller:

If I had to guess, then the higher numbers were probably through just slapping Goncharov into the search bar like prev deduced - which while useful for gauging its general levels of cultural awareness and memetic spread/longevity, is not a good gauge for putting the amount of fics in a fandom into relative perspective.

To test this, I have done exactly that. Peer review and all. These screenshots show what it looks like when I simply type Goncharov into the search bar:

You can tell that there are no other filters and I’m not in an official tag or fandom based on the text under search results and the fact that the button below that says “edit your search” and not “filters”.

The number is much higher, and it matches up with the previous higher numbers people have listed. It fits within the projected growth, which I did not calculate but rough estimates are good enough for his bullshit and I should have been asleep over an hour ago; I am not doing more math for this.

The screenshot shows that using this second method fics in completely different fandoms will show up - such as a miraculous ladybug fic, just because Goncharov is tagged despite it not being a Goncharov fic. It’s like if you tried to include people who took adderall at a party one but who don’t have adhd in the statistics for how many college students have adhd just because they took adhd medication one time.

Basically, it completely defeats the point of the Goncharov index - which is meant to compare fic amounts between fandoms. Including other fandoms in the gonch side of the index is literally the opposite of scientific integrity.

Anyway it’s now an hour and a half after I intended to be asleep, so imma go now. This dumb index has made me willingly engage in the scientific method/math late at night twice now and I’m not happy about it. Bye.

people trying to insist a fandom is tiny when it /only/ has a few thousand works on ao3 meanwhile my current fandom is a sixteen book series and has several hundred fewer works than goncharov, a movie that, and i cannot stress this enough, doesn’t even exist

[multifandomgirl08]

Be Something You'll Love and Understand [Mini Verstappen Series]

Dad!Max Verstappen x Daniel Ricciardo (Platonic)

Summary: He knew that he should have called his mom yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around the idea of being a father.

Warning(s): N/A

A/N: This is set the day after the Prologue.

Title taken from Simple Man originally by Lynyrd Skynyrd covered by Shinedown.

Words: 1.6k

Previous Part → Next Part Mini Verstappen Masterlist

Max had never felt more sleep-deprived in his life. Even staying up for a 24-hour endurance race had never made him this tired.

Daniel had been at his apartment last night helping him with Nico. He helped Max order formula, clothing, and diapers. Most of it would be delivered today. Both he and Daniel had to look up instructions on how to make the formula out of powder and warm water, and then how to put the bottles together so that Nico could eat.

Right now he was running on less than 8 hours of sleep, and Daniel was sitting on his couch with Nico who was finally asleep after a diaper change and a bottle that he didn’t end up screwing the portion size up.

He pulled his phone out of the front pocket of his pants and dialed his mom. He knew that he should have called her yesterday but he was still wrapping his head around this whole thing.

He let the phone ring in his ear for a few seconds before he heard the dial tone come to an end. “Mum?” He asked.

“Max?” She questioned back. The sound of her voice made some of the tightness in his shoulders go away.

“I… I need your help.”

“What’s going on Max?” He could hear the unmistakable sound of concern in her voice. It was something that he was still growing used to at times after not having remembered much of the time that he got to spend with her when he was a child.

“You remember Amelia?” Max’s eyes fell over the open letter that laid face up on his coffee table. Her scribbled words ran through his head. You’re the best thing for him. He had taken to finally reading it when Nico had managed to fall asleep around 4 am.

“Yes,” She started to say.

“She, she was pregnant when we ended things. I didn’t know, she never told me.” He started with. He was trying his best not to break down into tears. “Mum, she left me the baby.”

Sophie said nothing to him for a few moments before he heard, “Oh Max.”

“I don’t know what to do. Daniel has been helping me since I found out yesterday.”

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” She calmly said. “I’m going to pack a bag, and then I’m going to take the first flight that I can to get over there.”

Max just nodded even though his mother couldn’t see. “Has the baby eaten?” She asked.

“He ate an hour ago, Daniel finally managed to get him to sleep.” Max could hear the distant sound of typing through the phone.

“That’s good. Let him sleep for as long as possible. You and Daniel can take turns with him, and nap in between until I get there.” 

“Mum?” He half asked.

“Yeah, Maxy?”

“Thank you, I love you.” She was dropping everything to fly to Monaco to help him with this. She didn’t have to do it. She could have just stayed home and tried to help him with this from a distance.

“I love you too, I should be there in a couple of hours. My flight should get in by 4, I’ll take a cab so you don’t have to pick me up. Okay?” Max tried to find the clock on the wall and saw he would only have to wait 5 hours until his mother would be here.

“Okay.”

After getting off the phone with Sophie, Max was able to get some sleep. It wasn’t much, he had been awake when Daniel had gone up to his apartment to grab a change of clothes, Max’s eyes started to feel heavy as he was lying on the couch. At some point he woke up, forcing his eyes open to see Nico still on his chest, and the clock read 4:29 pm.

He could hear the sound of keys banging against the front door to his apartment before the door opened fully.

“He’ll be happy to see you.” He heard from Daniel. “He’s out of his element with this.”

He couldn’t hear his mother’s response, but he did see her dark hair from where he was lying on the couch.

“He was still sleeping when I went to let you in.” Max could hear the wheels from what he could only assume was his mother’s suitcase.

“Max?” Sophie asked, looking out into the living room. He tried to move up the couch without moving Nico. As he tried to sit up, Nico let out a disgruntled whimper.

He met the eyes of his mother and could see the shock in her eyes. It was one thing for him to tell her that he had a child but another to see him with a baby swaddled into his chest.

“Hi Mum,” He did his best to move Nico into the crook of his arm. He didn’t want to wake him, but he did want to sit up on the couch.

Sophie made her way over to him leaving her bag by Daniel. She moved to sit next to him before peering into the bundle of blankets to see the little boy sleeping. She said nothing as she looked at Nico.

“Can I hold him?” She asked.

Max didn’t even have to think about moving Nico into her arms. He saw her lean back into the couch and then placed Nico into her arms. He could tell from the look on his mom’s face that she was a little shocked to be holding a baby that he had a part in creating.

In the background, Max heard Daniel mention something about putting Sophie’s bag in the guest room before leaving the two of them in the living room.

“How are you managing?” She asked. Max couldn’t help but slightly shake his head.

“Not well,” If his mother wasn’t holding Nico he would have put his head into her lap. He wanted to tell her what Jos had done, but he also didn’t want more bad blood between his parents. It was only in the last few years after he turned 18 that his parents had finally managed to co-exist with each other peacefully.

“What are you not telling me?” His mother knew him too well.

“Dad…” He tried to start saying, “He knew about Nico. He tried to pay Amelia off so I wouldn’t know about him.”

Sophie said nothing, she just kept rocking Nico in her arms for a few moments.

“Was it because of her… or was it about you racing?” Max knew that she didn’t really have to ask.

“You already know the answer.” He said flatly.

“Well, I’m sure to him he was doing what he thought was right by your career.” Max knew that his mother didn’t have to defend Jos or take his side on things. Was Max horrible for wanting her to tell him that Jos was out of line for making choices for him? Max was 23, he didn’t need his father going behind his back and making choices for him that he didn’t agree with.

“But what about what’s right for him?” Max gestured to Nico.

His mother gave him a soft smile, “Well, as his father. It’s up to you to figure out what you think that’ll be as he grows up.”

Max felt like he could start spilling all of the things that he didn’t want to do as a parent, every possible insecurity that he had, and the concerns about how all of this was going to work in the long run.

Max was grateful that Nico was in Sophie’s arms while the thoughts were running through his mind.

“How’s he doing, sleeping, eating?” Sophie gestured to her arms. Max started to talk about Nico’s odd sleep schedule. Every three hours almost on the clock he needed to either eat or sleep. 

Max talked about the formula mishap, he had given Nico only three ounces, then he was still crying because he was hungry. Max made more but Nico only drank a bit not finishing the rest of the bottle.

When Nico started to get fussy, Max moved to the kitchen assuming that he wanted to eat, but instead, Sophie stuck her nose right up to Nico’s diaper and declared he needed to be changed. Max pulled out the diaper bag that Nico came with, finding the last two diapers left. Sophie had asked for a soft towel since they would be changing Nico on the couch since Max didn’t have a changing table.

Sophie oversaw as Max changed Nico’s diaper, only suggesting to not strap him into it so tight, after all, it was a diaper, not a racing seat with five-point harness. Max got it right leaving a two finger space in the front before snapping the bottom of Nico’s onesie back in place.

“Have you figured out how you are going to manage your schedule and him?” Sophie had asked after Daniel had offered to order all of them dinner.

“Not yet, I thought a nanny for when I am not home but for now, I can take care of him until I have to leave for promo in February.”

“That’s smart,” Daniel said. “Gives you a few months with ‘em before the season.”

Sophie gave Daniel a soft smile.

“I’ll stay with you until you find someone you like.” Sophie was quick to offer.

“Mum, no.” He immediately protested. Victoria just had Luka and his mom should be back in Belgium helping her, not worrying about him.

“I know what you’re thinking, but Victoria has Tom. You need me right now, just until you find a nanny and figure out a schedule for my grandson.” Sophie looked over to the couch where Nico was lying between a few pillows. He was fast asleep for now having just finished a full bottle of formula at the correct portion size.

He wanted to protest again, stating that he could figure it out. Sophie gave him a soft but stern look that he read as, I’m not leaving, deal with it.

Mini Verstappen taglist: @karmabyfernando, @barcagirly, @sachaa-ff, @iamahallucinationnn, @musingsbyshreya, @glow-ish, @nonsensical-nonsence, @fanboyluvr, @champomiel, @gothicwidowsworld, @lighttsoutlewis, @itsalwaysgay, @minkyungseokie, @mynameisangeloflife, @ursforever129, @aundercover, @bborra, @mindless-rock, @cixrosie, @barcelonaloverf1life, @taylorslovesswifties13, @konsti081, @mellowarcadefun, @smnthnclj, @brekkers-whore, @lpab, @thedecalcomania-blog, @xoscar03, @em-gvf01, @haikyuen

[betterbooktitles]

"I’m certain I’m not the only millennial who feels we as a nation have taken a dizzying turn when it comes to drugs. I remember a uniformed police officer showing up once a week in 5th Grade (a year before Sex Ed) to explain how to avoid buying and taking drugs. Luckily, I already knew the dangers of the drug trade because I had seen The Usual Suspects. I knew cocaine was a bad thing to buy, sell, or steal, especially from a drug kingpin. The D.A.R.E. program, however, let me know how important it was to say no to anything fun, including alcohol. At least until I understood a little algebra first. We did role-playing exercises where we walked one by one toward the portly police officer and he casually asked if we wanted to hit a mimed joint with him. All we had to do was say “no” and walk to the other side of the room, defying the only rule I knew about improv. We wrote essays about how important it was to preserve our pristine bodies and minds, obviously unsullied since we had yet to take the class teaching us how puberty was going to defile them both. I’m still mad that my friend Nicole’s essay beat mine in a contest, and she got to read hers in front of the whole school all because she had the benefit of an older brother who took too much acid and sat in her room all night talking about why the existence of light proved God was real. My essay about a time I saw my friend’s dad drink a beer and then drive his truck somewhere was also good! We signed pledges to enter the new millennium drug-free. We took the red pencils that said “Friends Don’t Let Friends Do Drugs” and sharpened all of them down to say “Let Friends Do Drugs,” “Friends Do Drugs,” “Do Drugs,” and simply “Drugs.” Despite that little rebellious act, my friends and I spent a solid six months swearing we’d never put any harmful substance into our bodies besides every form of candy available.

Imagine how I feel now as a D.A.R.E. graduate becoming my dad’s drug dealer. It’s less thrilling than I thought it would be. Between my father’s warning not to hang around one specific neighborhood in Cleveland as a kid and nearly every TV show about drugs, I thought I’d always be buying marijuana from an intimidating dude who definitely had a gun and would use it immediately if he thought I was wearing a wire. Instead, I now buy marijuana from a well-lit storefront that looks like the Apple Store. I’ve even gone to a place where a guy with an iPad explained what each available strain would do to me. I buy what sounds good with all the confidence of a man pointing at items on a menu written in a language he can’t read. I put it all in a cardboard box. I place a book on top. I mail the box to my dad from my local post office. I tell myself the book is to hide the contraband crossing state lines, but in truth, the book is what clears my conscience. I want to send my dad something edifying while also sending him the drug that all of America worried would make me unable to read if I tried it once. The unrequested book is a red herring to distract from the vice, like when you were young and didn’t want to buy condoms outright at the store so you cushioned them between a pack of peanut M&Ms and a magazine. Hmm, what else did I need, — right, while I’m here — might as well pick up a few condoms.

Right as marijuana becomes legal in most states, I’m about done with the drug. I’ve had three good times on edibles, and one of them was when I felt nothing and fell asleep at 9:30 PM. I’m flabbergasted that my dad likes edibles. He seems to be a man free of anxiety. Case in point, I once brought him some THC lozenges to our summer holiday in Chautauqua, and around dinner time I told him “You might want to only take half of what I gave you” to which he replied, “I took it hours ago.” He was stoned and no one noticed.

While I’m stuck in my head, stoned or sober, wondering why I didn’t take some acting gig 15 years ago, wondering if I’ll ever make enough money, worrying I’m doing everything wrong including in this moment as I write this sentence, my dad is enjoying himself.

Judith Grisel, the author of Never Enough: The Neuroscience And Experience of Addiction, describes using marijuana as throwing “a bucket of red paint” on your brain. She was approaching the stimulant clinically in terms of how it differed from the laser focus of other drugs (THC reacts with many receptors in the brain, cocaine focuses on one), but now every time I smoke, I think of the red paint metaphor. While other people seem able to crank an entire joint and do insanely complicated stuff like function at their jobs, I am reduced to a gelatinous blob, on top of which my eyes and brain are navigating a dream state that, like many dreams, isn’t all that interesting the next day. Mostly, I get high and can’t decide what I want to watch on TV or what video game I want to play, I realize how hungry I am, and then I fall asleep with cereal still stuck to my teeth. Pot, for me, is like the squid ink hitting the screen in Mario Kart: I can still see where I’m going, but everything gets a little harder to do, and the panicked half-blindness makes everything slightly more chaotically fun."

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An essay on Claire Dederer's book Monsters and movies made by monsters.

Writing inside a Toyota Service Center.

Writing mistresses.

[darksigns-exe]

a thousand flowers could bloom - noah sebastian x f!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: swearing, dry humping, big feelings

note: by request from an anon <3 im so sorry that it's taking me FOREVER to get to these.

masterlist | read pt 2 here | taglist sign-up

Finding Noah in your apartment like this isn’t unusual. Over the course of your friendship, you got used to Noah taking full advantages of the spare key you had given him. Most of the time he announces himself with a quick text, but on occasion he’ll already be there by the time you come home from work, the store or some social obligation. 

Today was one of those occasions. He’s stretched out over the length of your two-seater when you unlock the door, feet dangling over the edge of it. It’s fairly late, and he seemingly hadn’t even bothered to turn on the lights before he’d made a home for himself on your sofa. Noah is so fast asleep that he doesn’t notice you moving around the room, he only stirs when you find a place for yourself amongst his limbs. He stretches with a stifled groan, blinking up at you, still firmly held in the grasp of sleep.

“When did you get back?” he asks, voice still a little rough. 

It’s so awfully domestic. 

There’s really no denying it. What you feel for him can’t be just friendship. Moment’s like this make you feel as if you’re about one step away from your relationship becoming more than that, but at the same time you know how difficult it can be to be with someone like him. The touring and the other demands of his line work already make it difficult to be his friend. And even then, you don’t even know if he wants you like that. 

Realising that you’ve been silent for a moment too long, you shake yourself out of your silence. 

“Half an hour ago, maybe?” you reply. 

He squints at you for a moment before breaking into a smile, “I had to get out of the house for a bit, hope I didn’t interrupt any plans?”

In a way he did, but Noah doesn’t need to know about that. 

“You’re good.”

You adjust your position as he sits up, giving you a little more space. 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Noah announces then. 

As if you’d expect anything else from him, the boy is somehow always hungry. 

“I’m surprised that you didn’t order anything before I got here.” you counter, “Our usual place is closed today, so you’ll have to settle for something else.” 

From the sigh he lets out, you’d think that the greatest of tragedies had just struck him. Eventually, he grumbles out a resigned fine, and you’re so sure that you can see him rolling his eyes like a petulant child. You settle on a different restaurant but realise too late that this place has an expected delivery time of almost an hour. 

You decide to put a record onto the turntable while you wait and settle on a favourite of yours. 

Dummy by Portishead. 

The soft pulsing beat of the opening track settles you into a comfortable mood. With your legs thrown over Noah’s lap, you’re more than comfortable. Your idle chatter is interrupted when Noah’s phone dings with a notification that lets you know that your delivery will be delayed by a good twenty minutes. 

The delay quickly flees your mind when his hand settles a little too high on your thigh. The touch is innocent enough, really, and maybe it’s only the music that makes it feel like more than it actually is. But you can’t deny the warm feeling that spreads throughout your body. 

The conversation steering into a more intimate direction doesn’t exactly help your situation. It’s not uncommon for the two of you to talk about your relationships, although you’ve noticed that Noah has talked less about seeing people in recent months. When he would sometimes tell you about the people he went out with, he’d been suspiciously silent on the matter recently, and you can’t help but wonder if he isn’t seeing anyone or if he’s just not telling you about it. 

“I don’t know, it just feels like everyone’s a disappointment, you know? I don’t know if my expectations are too high or if people are just shit.” you conclude your rant about the state of your love life. 

Noah eyes you for a moment, “And what do you expect?” Your breath catches in your throat when you look at him. He’s never looked at you like this before – or if he has, you’d never noticed. His eyes are blown wide, lips caught between his teeth. Somehow, you already know that whatever you’re about to tell him will change things between you. 

“I guess I just want someone to want me, if that make sense? I don’t think I’m asking for too much with that.” 

Noah clears his throat. His hand pulses on your thigh, and you’re acutely aware of how intensely he’s pinning you down with his stare. “Oh, absolutely not.” his hand wanders up your thigh so tentatively, “Maybe you’ve been looking in the wrong place.” 

Your heart thumps in your chest. 

Surely he isn’t insinuating what is spinning around in your head. 

“Do you think so?” 

You sit up, but don’t quite detach yourself from him yet. Your palms feel awfully sweaty, and you have to force yourself to take deep breaths. 

In the moments before he answers, you feel yourself spiralling through all kinds of scenarios. 

“I don’t know, maybe you should look a little closer to home.” 

His hand settles above your hip. It doesn’t feel foreign, you’ve always been a bit more tactile with each other. You know that part of what has been holding you back from falling into bed with just anyone has been the high expectation you have for your first real sexual encounter. Sure, you’ve made out with people, but it never turned into more. Something had always felt off. 

Something you don’t feel right now. 

“Noah?” you ask quietly, afraid to break this delicate moment. 

“Yes?” his reply sound just as trembling as you feel. 

You can’t find the right words then. Suddenly, everything you could say feels so out of place, so insignificant. 

Thankfully, Noah seems to sense your predicament. 

“Look at me for a moment, will you?” he says softly, drawing your attention to him, “Nothing has to happen here unless that’s what you want. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. We can just put a pin in this and come back to it when you’re ready for it.” 

As much as you appreciate his concern for you, right now your mind is set on a single track. You don’t know where the confidence suddenly comes from, but you’re glad that it finds you. It takes Noah a moment to catch up when your lips meet his. A second later, his hand finds the side of your face. When you part, his cheeks are tinged bright pink. 

You can’t stay away from him for long, though. Y0u scramble towards him, coming to rest atop his thigh. His arms wrap around your body, keeping you close to him. Noah pushes his thigh upward, bringing it into contact with your centre. It’s just a small touch, lessened by the fabric of your shorts, but it still sends a spike of heat up your spine. 

You feel a little out of your depth with this. In theory, you know what you’re supposed to do, but in practice it feels so daunting. And when you pull away from his lips, Noah’s face immediately twists into a concerned furrow. 

“Is everything okay? Too much?” 

His hands settle on your waist, as he fixes you with just so much worry. 

“I just don’t know – I don’t know what I’m doing.” You admit feeling a little more foolish than you’d like to admit. 

The concern fades into something softer, “Do you want me to help, love?”

You nod, unable to find your voice. 

“Alright. Okay.” you can tell that he’s sorting through his thoughts, “Tell me if something doesn’t feel good, okay?”

“I will.” 

A faint smile plays on his lips, “Good.”

With his hands still holding onto your waist, he brings his thigh back into contact with you. The rhythm he helps you find is slow enough, and you find yourself taking over fairly quickly. Noah keeps one hand on your waist, while the other moves up the side of your body, creeping up towards your ribs. His thigh shifts beneath you, drawing a hitched breath from you. 

“Is that good?” he asks softly, his gazed fixed on your face. 

You can only nod, feeling much too overwhelmed to vocalise how you feel beyond the soft sighs that have been pouring from your lips. 

Noah pulls you close to him, wrapping his arms around your body once more. Your hips move against him seemingly on their own. It’s so dizzying. If you already feel like this with this many layers of clothing separating you, how good will it feel when you can actually feel his skin against yours? 

You feel Noah bury his face in the side of your neck, shifting his body, allowing you to feel how much this affects him too. He moans against your skin when you move against him a little more intentionally. 

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” you speak into the crook of your neck, lips barely lifting from your skin. 

Your fingers twist into his hair, trying to keep him there as best as you can. The sound he makes when you tug at it a little makes you shiver. 

“Noah.” you sigh. 

The pleasant sting of him sucking a bruise into your skin makes your head spin even more. That knot in your middle feels so tight already, even with so much separating you. 

“Lie down for me, love?” 

His face is so soft, cheeks flushed, lips spit-slicked. 

Noah helps you shift onto your back and covers your body with his as soon as you’re resting against the cushions. He hovers above you for a moment longer, gazing down at you with an impossible softness. And just as he leans down to kiss you again, the aggravating sound of your doorbell tears through the moment. 

His forehead drops to your shoulder as he lets out a heavy sigh. 

Noah presses a quick kiss to your lips before he lifts himself off you again. Your eyes fall shut for a second as you try to make sense of what just happened. 

I’ve wanted this for so long.

The words spin around your head. He wanted this – you. 

When you open your eyes and sit up, Noah is still talking to the delivery person. He returns to you a moment later, placing the bags on your coffee table. He sits next to you, wringing his hands together for a moment before he turns towards you. 

“We should talk about this.” he sounds so awfully hesitant, “I don’t want us to feel weird – I really don’t want you to feel as if I’m forcing something –” 

Instead of letting him ramble on into oblivion, you take the initiative and press a chaste kiss to his lips, effectively shutting him up. 

“Or we could eat and finish this later. You’re not the only one who’s been waiting for this.” It takes a second for your words to reach his head, but when they do, he gives you an almost wicked smile. 

“Oh, we will absolutely finish this later.”

taglist: @deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

@malice-ov-mercy @chels3a-smile @ferduttini @somebodyels3 @itsafullmoon

@shilohrosechicken @poisongirl616 @mysticdoodlez @agravemisstake

[storm-angel989]

Fix it, Vox. (Valentino x Daughter)

SHOUT OUT TO absolut3lyn0t  for all the help with the Spanish and for being a FANTASTIC human in general. You are AMAZING!

The weight of her body jolted him awake. A tiny head against his chest, and muffled tears. The bright red clock flashed on his nightstand. Three thirty. He had literally gotten to bed less than a half hour ago. He tried to ignore the aching in his head as he struggled to talk to the sobbing child. 

“Beibita, what’s the matter?” He mumbled as he wrapped his arms around the crying toddler. “Shush. Papi is here, niñita. Vuelve a dormir.”

“Papi, will the angels come and get me?” She choked out. “Daddy, I’m scared. I don’t wanna get ex..er…”

Now he had her full attention. ¿De que ella habla? What was she talking about?

“Princessa, no one is going to take you away. Who told you that?” He asked, trying to mask the fury in his voice. “Papi is here, bebita. Shush.” He rocked her as gently as he could as he tried to bite back his exhaustion.

Of all the weekends for her mother to go out of town. 

“The tv said so, I heard it! I…I…” She sobbed. 

God fucking damn it. He told that son of a bitch. He told him his daughter wasn’t asleep. He warned him not to change the channel for another half hour until they could be sure she was safe and sound in bed and not about to try to sneak out to curl up with them or try to con him into letting her watch just one more episode. After all, she did it every single night. But no, Vox  insisted he put on the news right away. He insisted it would be fine. And now here Valentino was, paying the goddamn price. 

“Shush. Papi won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” He said softly as he sat up. “Come on, bebita. Papi will make you a warm bottle and you can sleep with me, okay, pequeño amor?.”

She cuddled closer into his chest and he lifted her up effortlessly. He carried her cradled against him to the kitchen. With one arm supporting the weight of his daughter, the other carefully warmed up a bottle of milk and flicked it on his wrist before trying to hand it to the toddler. 

“Drink up, mi amore.” 

She refused to take it. “I want Mommy! “And Uncie and Auntie! The angels are gonna get them! Papi, we have to do something!” She burst into another round of tears.

God fucking damn it, Vox. He silently cursed as he set the bottle off to the side and tried to sooth the hysterical toddler. “Mommy will be back tomorrow night, shush,” he replied softly as he bounced her soothing

He looked at the clock. Four am. There was a good chance Vox was up and in his office. A twinge of anger made its way through Valentino. If Vox was awake, it was only fair that he helped clean up the mess he made. 

“Let’s go see if Uncie Voxxy is awake, alright mi amore? Your mommy will be home tomorrow and Auntie Velvette is sleeping.” He shifted her weight and pressed the bottle to her lips, willing her to take it. A full tummy was the key to getting her to sleep- he learned that when she was first born. “Come on, bebita.”

She refused and he sighed in frustration. He nabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and walked towards the elevator, hoping that by the time they got to Vox’s office she would have at least settled down. 

No such luck. 

The sound of a crying, screaming baby tested every single bit of Valentino's last nerve. Even if it was his daughter, and he loved her with every single beat of his heart, he was absolutely at his wits end.  There was no reason for her to be this afraid; it was absolutely uncalled for. Vox should have listened and then maybe, just maybe he would still be asleep. By the time he walked into Vox’s office, every single part of him struggled to maintain control. He stormed from the elevator and stomped over the shark tanks. 

“You broke it, you fix it,” he growled as he tried to hand reader over to Vox. “I told you not to put on the news. I told you she wasn’t asleep yet, and now look!” 

The anger in her fathers voice only triggered more tears. Desperately she clung to Valentino’s neck and dug her hands into his shirt. “Daddy!” 

Valentino put a protective hand on her back and glared at Vox. 

Vox was up on his feet in a matter of moments. “Woah. Alright, take a breath Val. What happened?” His eye began to swirl. “Babygirl, why are we crying? Come here, Val. Take my spot. Sit down. Breathe. You relax. She’ll relax.” He took the bottle from Valentino’s hand and set it off to the side. 

“The angels are gonna get us,” Reader sobbed into Valentino’s shoulder. “I saw it on TV!”

Valentino shot Vox a look and guilt spread across Vox’s features. 

“Shit. I mean, fuck. Sweetie. Baby. It wasn’t real, I promise. It was a story. Like..” he struggled for a moment and then his expression lit up. “Like a bedtime story your Daddy tells you. It was just a scary story, it’s not real. I promise. Now come to Uncle Voxxy, let me hold you sweetie.” 

She reached up to him and Vox wrapped her in his hold as he rocked her. She heaved a hiccup and Vox gently tilted her head up to meet his eye. “Who controls the television, my sweet baby girl?”

 “Uncle Voxxy….” she answered tearily. 

“Right, sweetheart. So wouldn’t I know best?” He asked as he stroked her hair. “Uncle Voxxy, and Daddy and Mommy and Auntie Vel won’t let anything happen. I promise babydoll.” He picked up the still warm bottle and guided it to her mouth. 

She sucked on it gently as he continued to rock her. Carefully, Vox handed her back to Valentino. Valentino carefully laid her head over his heart as Vox wrapped her in the blanket. 

“Duerme bebe niña papá está aquí,”  he said softly. “You’re safe, we’re safe, it's okay.”

To both their relief, she fell asleep almost instantly, soothed by the beating of Valentino’s heart, a full tummy, and the feeling of security. Vox caught the bottle as it fell out of her hands and set it on the desk.

“Are you okay Val?” Vox asked softly. “You look like shit.” 

“I’m exhausted, Vox. I went to bed like thirty minutes before this all began,” he replied tiredly. “I need you or Vel to watch her this morning- I’m begging you.”

“Just call me when she wakes up,” Vox replied quickly. “Or you can give her to me now. I can work with her in my arms.” 

“No, I can take her for a few hours…”

“Nonsense. Give me the baby. Take a breath. And get some sleep.” Carefully, Vox lifted the bundle to his own chest and laid her head carefully against his heart. “She won’t wake up now that she’s out. Go get some rest, Val. When you wake up you can take her back.”

Grateful, and with one last kiss on his sleeping daughter's forehead, Valentino made his way back upstairs. In his control room, Vox adjusted the little girl against his body as little as he possibly could. Guilt washed over him as he worked. Valentino had warned him she wasn’t asleep. It was his own fault for scaring her so badly, and for his friend to be pushed beyond the point of exhaustion. 

“I’m so sorry I scared you. It won’t happen again,” he said quietly to the sleeping toddler. He kissed her on the forehead. “And I promise we will always keep you safe.”

Against him, she snuggled closer and he leaned back in his chair as he held the sleeping toddler. He closed his eyes for a moment and let out an exhale. To his surprise, she did the same. He felt something stir deep in his chest. Love. Protectiveness. The desire to never let this sweet little girl feel afraid again. 

“You’re safe, babygirl,” he whispered as he held her carefully. “I promise.”

[sscieloz]

Hi! I just found your blog and I’m looking forward to your works. Could I request a Seulgi angst fic; where you and Seulgi have been in a happy, loving, fulfilling, committed relationship for the past 3 years, but one day when she came back from practice with the girls you two got into a heated argument about how she’s always canceling dates with you because work related things come up that she “can’t miss” and she ends up bringing up something that you had confided in Her about awhile ago and uses it against you; to which she immediately regrets and tries to take back and can you take it from there? Thank you! I look forward to it:)

Missing you

Kang Seulgi x reader

Warnings: toxic!relationship, angst (dw it’s all good now)

Word count: 3.7k

Notes: hi!! sorry for taking long <3. I kind of struggled to think of a motive of them arguing bc it kept getting too dark (as in they wouldn’t be able to get past this lol) and I kinda wanted a happy ending. I hope this is to your liking!! Kisses mwah mwah.

Your gaze flew to the clock for the 30th time in a spam of five minutes, making you sigh in defeat. Seulgi had promised you she’d meet you at your favorite restaurant for dinner, as a way to make up to you for being so busy over the past weeks. Yet there you were, sitting alone with a glass of bitter wine for over two whole hours before you finally gave up and went home, realizing she wouldn’t come. Again.

Babe <3

Hey baby, rehearsals are going up until late since we still have so much to work on

I won’t make it to dinner. Sorry.

Next week, though? I’ll make it up to you. I promise.

I love you

You got into your apartment just as her message lit up your phone. You threw it over the sofa, preparing yourself a long bath to try to relax. You took a deep breath before entering the warm water, the bubbles and the silence easing your tensed muscles. You tried not to think about your girlfriend or your relationship, knowing it’d only make you even more upset, but your thoughts didn’t seem to let you rest.

You and Seulgi loved each other, you knew that much. You’ve never loved her any less in those three years you’ve been dating, but it pained you to see how much you’ve drifted apart lately. You felt like you were the only one trying to spend time with her, and it wasn’t like you weren’t busy yourself: being an intern in one of Seoul’s top hospitals while studying for residency was tiring and difficult, specially since you’ve always been a bit behind your colleagues, having to push yourself harder than the most to simply be at their level. Still, you always made sure to make some time for Seulgi. Why couldn’t she do the same? Were you not important to her?

Those thoughts made you sigh, your body immersed in the water until it went limp and the water grew cold. Part of you wished you could be somewhat more imposing: demand more from her, confront the woman over your issues, telling her how you felt. You couldn’t, though. You were too weak for that. Which was the reason you dragged yourself to bed, rolling over to set your alarm on your phone before allowing your body to be dragged by sleep.

It’s ok.

Next time, then

Gnight love

Seulgi’s reply came hours later, although you were fast asleep.

Sweet dreams, dearest.

-

To say you were having a bad day was a euphemism. Your preceptor had given you the biggest, shittiest lecture over nothing (so what if you couldn’t get the stupid procedure done at the very first try? He had no right to scream at you to get out of the OR like that, let alone yell at your face for over half an hour about how dumb and unprepared you were, compared to others. Preposterous piece of crap). You nearly fell down the stairs on your way to lunch and, to make it better, your umbrella broke, making you run all the way home after being dropped at the bus stop to try to get less soaked. It didn’t work, and you entered your place with chattering teeth and the feeling of the wind carved deep in your bones. Your body was trembling so much from the cold and the stress, you dropped your keys twice before you managed to open the door, finally sighing in relief.

That relief, however, ended just as you spotted your girlfriend’s silhouette leave your kitchen and enter your living room, smiling as if she hadn’t fucked up hard by leading you on for so long.

“Jesus baby, you’re soaked.” She frowned, giving you a peck on the lips. Your body went rigid at her touch, exhausted from everything, which made Seulgi confused. She was finally able to make some time and come see you, so why weren’t you happy?

You simply murmured something along the lines of hello and so nice to see you, before hurrying to your room to get rid of the wet clothes that clung to your body. You took the hottest shower of your life, trying to wash all the discomfort away, which didn’t work in the slightest.

You loved Seulgi so much it hurt, but the last thing you wanted for the day was to see her. You felt drained, your body ached, and you so desperately wanted to hide under your sheets and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t want to talk about your day—about anything, specially not to her. It’d demand too much energy to explain what was going on with you over the past few weeks, since you never seemed to properly talk to each other, anymore. You had no energy for that.

And you’ve always sucked at communicating, anyway.

You forced yourself to leave your room, dragging your feet in tiredness, and found Seulgi setting up the table for two. You sat down, still silent, and watched as she put some Tteokbokki for herself.

“I’ve already eaten at the hospital.” You told her, returning her stare with a shrug. Seulgi sighed at your pettiness; perhaps you did get mad at her for canceling on you on the prior week, unlike you’d told her. And the week before that. And-

Ok. She might deserve a bit of your cold shoulder. But you simply had to understand her: she was working so hard with the girls to prepare for their comeback, and there were still many things to be adjusted. Their expected date was approaching, and you’ve always been so comprehensive. Sure, she knew you often masked your feelings or simply dismissed them to try to please others, but she’d asked you about it so many times. If something was making you uncomfortable, you’d sure tell her. Right?

“So,” She grunted, adjusting herself in the chair. “How was your day?”

“It was fine, thanks.”

“Okay.” Seulgi murmured, not touching her food either. She was beginning to get irritated at your distance now. Sure, she knew being a doctor was exhausting and time-consuming, but it wasn’t like she wasn’t having one hell of a week, either. Her fingers twitched under the table, and she no longer stood the awkward silence between you. Rolling her eyes, she added, “Are you just going to be a bitch all night? Because I got here straight from practice, I’m tired as fuck and the last thing I want is for you t—“

“What are you doing here, then, Seulgi?” You interrupted her, feeling the anger rise on yourself too. “Don’t you have rehearsals and recordings to be too busy with? Or should I just be so fucking grateful that my girlfriend decided to grace me with her company? Am I not paying enough attention to your liking?” You usually tried your best to not be rude to others, keeping your sarcastic thoughts to yourself, but your sudden anger flared up and forged a cloud over your mind, making it hard to see clearly through it. “Should we call the others, then? The girls you spend all fucking day with?”

Seulgi rose from the table, her face heating up at your words and suggestions. You played low at that, you both knew it, but now you’ve gotten her way too pissed to think about consequences.

“What the fuck, Yn? What’s gotten into you?” She screams, leaning forward so you two were face to face, “I know it was not ideal at all to skip our dinner.” Multiple ones, you both knew it, but neither pointed it out loud. “But you know I can’t miss work. Please understand.”

Seulgi was just so mad and frustrated. Her times with you were always stress-relieving to her, but lately all you’ve been doing is either argue about minor stuff or simply not talk at all. It was taking a toll on her when it shouldn’t, not with her comeback so close and her stress levels already escalating. It wasn’t good for you either, with your crazy work routines and weekly exams at the hospital. She knew that.

But you couldn’t seem to make it work.

“What’s gotten into me?” You stood up yourself, too, towering over her. Since you were always so sweet and patient, Seulgi would often forget how much taller you were— in fact, it was one of the things she first noticed when you first met; it had gotten her attention instantly. She hated it now, though— how small it made her feel. “What’s gotten into me is that it seems like I don’t even have a fucking girlfriend anymore! You ignore me all the time like I’m just some friend and not someone who matters! I don’t even know what you’re doing half of the time, with God knows who.” You threw your hands in the air, exasperated.

Her expression turned into a scowl, and she rolled her eyes, palms curling into fists to shake the urge of grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking your insecurities away. Seulgi hated when you implied such things. You were the love of her life, and she’d never, never cheat on you, no matter how distant you were. But you were (deeply) insecure, and she knew that. She was also so, so enraged and stressed.

“Jesus, why are you always so fucking dramatic?” she was quick to snap back, defensive. “Acting like I’m going to leave you for the first person I see in the stree…” Seulgi’s words died on her mouth, immediately realizing the power of her words, making both of you gasp. She tried to reach out to you, but you pushed your chair roughly to get away from her.

Your body went rigid, countless memories of you crying to her flagged your mind. You’ve confessed to her many times about how much it bothered you to not have her around as much. You missed her deeply, and even though you trusted her completely, your mind was always playing tricks on you — not only about her, but with everything: how you weren’t enough at University, always behind your friends in grades; not interesting enough to make long last friendships, as you often saw in big groups of friends; not pretty or talented enough for your girlfriend, who was constantly around so many amazing people. That’s just how your mind worked 24/7; constantly wondering.

And now, Seulgi made sure to tell you just how much she hasn't forgotten any of that. Any of the things that made you deeply insecure.

“Get out.” You told her, hugging yourself to hide the urge of running straight to her arms.

Seulgi took a step forward, but it only made you back away twice as much. “Baby, I’m so sorry… listen, I—“

“I said get out!” You screamed this time, the tears you were fighting so hard to contain rolling freely on your face.

All the sensations you were suppressing all week erupted, boiling over your surface as you brushed past the hallway to try to get to your room, to the bathroom, anywhere small were you could be confined and finally let it all go. You were straight up sobbing now, your body hot from moving roughly alongside your heavy breathing. You were so sick of everyhting. Work, your friends, her. Her words hurt, and all you wanted was to disappear. You didn’t quite feel your body as the tears clouded your eyes, and suddenly very light, delicate hands were lifting you up —you now realized you’d simply sunk in the middle of the hallway, hugging your knees as strong as you could— and guiding you to your bedroom. Seulgi helped you to get under the covers as she lay down beside you, careful to not overwhelm you even more. When the older woman saw you’d settled down a bit, she opened her arms, making you cling onto her immediately. You knew you shouldn’t, but it was so comforting, and you loved her so much… You’d allow yourself just that, only for a few moments.

“I-I don’t want to do this anymore.” you muttered against her neck, wetting her shirt with your tears. “I’m so tired, Seulgi. I can’t.”

You felt her tense before you for brief seconds before her soothing touches went on, kissing your forehead ever so gently— almost as if you were made of glass. You certainly felt like it, at the moment. Like you were a glass full of cracks, threatening to shatter.

“Shh, it’s ok.” She cooed, running her hands under your shirt to draw small circles on your bare back, as she knew it soothed you and made you sleep almost instantly. “You’re too tired right now. Sleep, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up, then we’ll talk.”

You didn’t like the idea of talking things out with Seulgi. It would be too tiring, and maybe, just maybe… you were postponing it for so long because you feared what the outcome would be.

You were too afraid to lose her. So you’d rather leave things as they were, no matter how broken and uncomfortable they might be.

Your eyes, however, were already closing on their own, the warmth of her body making it so easy to just give in and rest.

“Okay.” You whispered, hugging her closer. “Tomorrow.”

You fell into a sleep without dreams soon enough.

-

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how messy the right side of the bed— Seulgi’s side was. You’d missed the wrinkled sheets and how it always looked like a hurricane had passed over your bed whenever she came over, from how much she moved in her sleep. It made you smile to yourself as you got up, bare feet on the ground, while you hesitantly looked around for her, too scared to call her name out loud and find her gone.

It wouldn’t be the first time she broke a promise, after all.

You’d forgotten how much all the little things with her made you happy.

“…Hello?” You asked— secretly relieved, at the sight of your girlfriend kneeling on the ground, little wrinkles adorning her face as she tried hard to shove too many clothes on your washing machine.

She looked up, startled by the sound of your voice, but quickly smiled. “Hi. Did you have a good sleep?” Seulgi sounded genuinely concerned, making you curse yourself silently for worrying her.

Are you ok? She wanted to ask you. Seeing you so distressed had gotten her so guilty and concerned. She hated to see you like this, and it killed her to know she was to blame. I care.

“Yeah, I did, thanks.” You shrugged it off, standing awkwardly at her sides. “You don’t have to do my laundry, you know.”

“Well, someone has to.” Seulgi scoffed, rolling her eyes as she finally managed to close the machine’s door, even if with a bit of an effort.

You opened your mouth, faking being offended while bringing your hands to your heart. “I was going to do it, okay? On…”

“Saturday.” You both finished, together. Saturdays were laundry day for you, though you rarely followed your schedule through. It made you smile, to know she remembered it, and you said nothing, trying to not break the nice moment you were having.

“So, do you want to have lunch? We can go out, if you’d like.” Seulgi suggested, her tone careful as she fidgeted the hem of her big sweatshirt.

You simply stared at her, confused. Lunch? Had you really slept for that long?

“You slept for 13 hours, babe.” She clarified, looking at your confused face, making you quickly check your phone to confim the truth: it was, indeed, nearly lunchtime.

You’ve never been so grateful to be on your day off as much as you did now, or else you would’ve sure missed your pre-rounds at the hospital.

“Oh, ok.” You answered, a bit ashamed for dozing out for so long. “Let’s have lunch, then.” You realized she must’ve been skipping work, too; which was why you added, frowning. “Don’t you have to be in the company? It’s ok if you do. I can wait until nigh—“

“Don’t worry about it.” Your girlfriend clarified, motioning for you to get ready. “Let’s just have lunch, ok?”

You took a deep breath, knowing what she meant; it was urgent for the two of you to sit, talk and solve things. Giving in, you followed her, changing from your pajamas and fixing your hair as she grabbed some of your clothes (that were too big on her, as always. she loved it.) to go out.

“Ok.”

-

You played with your hands, sitting in front of Seulgi at a local restaurant near your house as you waited for your food to come. The cozy atmosphere didn’t do much to easy your discomfort, and you tried hard to not bite your (already deeply bitten) nails off. Seulgi’s eyes were trained on you, making you feel as if hundreds of tiny needles were piercing your skin through her gaze. To your surprise, not once had she checked her phone, unlike all the times you’ve been together over the last few months. Instead, her sole attention was on you, like you dreamed of so many times in those last weeks.

Now, however, her current focus only makes you want to throw up, from the nerves of the situation.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself.” She expressed, as a matter of fact. It was true, but her accusation made you defensive, eyes snapping to her as you took a deep breath.

You were tired of arguing, and this was one of your favorite places: you’d rather not cause a scene. “Seulgi.”

“Am I lying?” Your piercing gaze was enough for her to roll her eyes, hands up to show you she wasn’t looking for a fight either. “Ok, let’s not go there.” Her tone dropped an octave, “I just worry, ok? You seem to be having it pretty tough.”

She wasn’t pressuring you to say anything before the two of you actually discussed your issues— you knew it as much. It as just hard for you to express yourself, now even more to do so without crying. And you didn’t want to cry in front of her.

“This rotation has been tough, like I already knew it would be.” You told her, refusing to meet Seulgi’s eyes. “It’s ok, though. It’s nearly over, now. Things will get better, then.”

You’d talked about it before your rounds started, Seulgi remembered. Flashes of you, worried, flashed through her mind, with herself assuring you she’d be by your side to help you on each step of your journey.

The memory made her want to throw up, too.

“Look at me, baby.” You heard her say, yet you still refused to meet her eyes. Instead, you felt her hands holding yours, her touch firm. “Yn, look at me.”

You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for whatever was about to come, a few quiet moments amidst the storm of both of your minds. When you opened them, she was ready to welcome you. “I’m sorry, ok? I truly am so, so sorry for those last couple of weeks— hell, these couple of months. I’m such an idiot for leading you on like that and for not treating you like you deserve it. I love you, God, I fucking love you more than anything in this world, Yn, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Her grip went tighter, but you didn’t care. You could only listen to her words. “I promise I’ll do better, to show you how much you matter to me. I’ll be here for you, just like you’ve always been, for me.” She murmured, taking your hands to your lips as she kissed them gently.

Little droplets of tears still threatened to fall from your eyes as your voice faltered, a bulge forming in your throat. You loved Seulgi and needed her like the air you breathed, and sure missed her every second of the day, when you weren’t together. But her distance had hurt you, deeply.

She was crying, too. You realized you’ve actually never seen her cry, in the 3 years you’ve been dating.

“Your distance really hurt.” You managed to voice it to her, between hiccups. “I-I felt like I was doing something wrong all the time.”

“You weren’t. You’d never, baby.” She reassured you, running her hands through your hair to get it out of your wet face. “It was my fault. You’re mine and I’m yours, ok? We’ll start over, and I’ll show you how much you matter to me. I won’t fuck up our relationship anymore.” She looked at you timidly, adding, “And I’m sorry for what I said yesterday, too. It was not my place to use something you confined at a moment like that. I was such a huge bitch.”

“It’s ok.” You muttered, though still hurt.

“No it’s not.” She exclaimed, serious. “It was horrible, and I’m deeply sorry for that. It’s not going to happen again. Ever.”

Instead of answering, you lunged forward, kissing her urgently— fuck the restaurant and etiquette. Seulgi kissed you with equal fervor, savoring your taste. God, she’d missed you so much.

“I love you.” You told her, smiling as you ended the kiss, leaning on the chair. She pouted, but opened a big smile as she saw yours. “And I don’t want us to end. We’ve been through so much. I want to be by your side, with anything that comes.”

“I love you more, Yn. We’ll be together, always. Nothing will fuck us up anymore. No rehearsals, recordings… nothing.” Her hands brushed your lips as she stared at your face, enamored, before adding. “Now tell me about everything I’ve missed. And I mean everything. Don’t save your words.”

You laughed at her, nodding as you quietly started from the beginning: you’ve told her every bit she missed, and Seulgi told everything about herself, too. You ate your food with content, exchanging every single moment with her until hours had passed, and you’ve decided to return home.

And as you walked in the park together, the windy breeze calmed your soul, and with your love by your side, you felt much, much better.

As it should always be.

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Eat The Acid II

Summary: It had been 14 months since the fight, the worst 14 months of her life and finally she thought now was the right time to share her side of the story but all she can think about is the return of CM Punk at survivor series not even 48 hrs ago. What happens when she reminds him of the fact he's going back to a promotion that fired him on their wedding day?

Word count: 2,538

Warnings include: Swearing, violence, toxic relationships, manipulation and those kinds of things 

Part 1 Part 3 Main Masterlist CM Punk Masterlist

Inspired by "Eat The Acid" by Kesha

Survivor series 

I knew I would keep quiet when all of the news of what happened at All Out went public. I knew I would say something stupid or let my emotions get the best of me. I can’t believe I stayed out of it for over a year, this was me breaking my silence. Phill and I had filed for divorce months ago, only now getting the paperwork started. I felt anxious as I sat in the chair, it reminded me of the one that got thrown during the fight. Renee Paquette invited me on her podcast to talk about my career and how things were going. She knew about the divorce before Phill got served so with my permission we would talk about the situation. Figuring it had been the right time to finally hear my side of the story. At this point everyone knew, in fact they couldn't stop talking about it. Dying to know my thoughts, feeling bad for me after what happened. We both knew what could happen, how this would backfire, but I told myself I would never speak bad about Phill, sure he was my ex-husband but I could never say the things he said about me, about him. 

“So Y/n, I know you have some things you would like to get off your chest” Renee said “The floor is yours” 

I felt my heart rate increase, I grew anxious. It wasn’t like this was a live recording, this was me and Renee in the comfort of her and Jon’s home. Sitting with two microphones, creating a recording we could do multiple takes of or even cut things out. I looked at Renee and she gave me a comforting smile, assuring me things would be ok. 

“So, I’m sure by now you must have heard that CM Punk and I are getting a divorce” I knew we were getting divorced, but every time I said it outloud my mind couldn't comprehend that it was real. “This was a really hard decision but I really didn’t know what else to do Renee. I tried, I tried so hard…I..I just can’t do it anymore. It’s unfortunate because I really loved Phill and a part of me will always still love him. The whole situation ruined my family, I can’t even look at him the same after what happened. I really didn’t want to get a divorce but it was the best option.” 

I looked to Renee who said nothing, offering a warm smile encouraging me to continue but I couldn't focus. All I could think about was the event that took place less than 48 hours ago.

I woke up feeling like I got hit by a bus then rolled over by a train. My body was sore, I wrestled Full Gear a few days prior and felt fine despite having one of the most grueling fights of my career. It wasn’t until I woke up Thursday morning after I wrestled on Dynamite the night before that I felt it. It was weird walking up in Chicago alone, I spent many years here with Phill, it just felt wrong without him. I knew survivor series would be happening in a few days, finding it funny how AEW and WWE were both in Chicago less than 3 days apart. I decided to stay the week in Chicago wanting to catch up with old friends I haven’t seen in years.

Half asleep and in pain I heard my phone ring. After struggling to find it, lost in the mess that was my hotel room I answered the call half asleep, not even bothering to see who it was before I picked it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi” the voice on the other line was soft, so quiet that I almost didn’t hear the response 

“Who is this?” I responded, climbing back into the warm sheets 

“It’s me” the voice said a bit louder this time 

“Oh hi, Phill. What’s up?” I asked him, oddly calm, almost like nothing happened between us

“I need to talk to you, It’s important” He said quietly 

I didn’t know what was going on but I knew it must have been important. “Is everything alright?” I asked 

“Can you stop by sometime today, this is an in person type of conversation” I agreed to his offer, deciding to go to our once shared Chicago home to figure out what was going on. 

***

I stood on the steps of our once shared home, debating whether or not to ring the doorbell. It felt weird, like this was a foreign space despite all of the memories I’ve had here. When I entered the home I noticed it looked the same as it did the last time I was here. The only thing different was my missing items. I sat down on the couch agreeing to a coffee as I watched a very anxious Phill Brooks make two coffees. “So, tell me what’s bothering you” I told him honestly as I grabbed the mug from his hands, placing it on a handmade coaster I made years ago. A smile on my face noticing he kept it. “I’m coming back” was all he said and I knew exactly what he meant.

I didn’t know what to say, my throat was dry, my brain unable to form a thought. “No one knows, only Hunter and I know. I thought you should know about it and in person” He said softly trying to read the non existing expression on my face. He didn’t say anything waiting for me to speak knowing how I can struggle with expressing my emotions. 

“I don’t know what to say. How is this even possible?” I asked unable to comprehend how after everything he would return to a promotion that made him want to kill himself. “I remember when they fired you on our wedding day. Do you remember that, how that made you feel? How you swore to never wrestle again, never mind return to the enemy? You shit on WWE for years, not even six months ago you were talking about how horrible that place is and now you're coming back?” 

“I can’t believe it either love, if Hunter and I can make up I have hope that we might be able to make things right. I promise I will explain everything but I don’t even know what’s going on.  I know you don’t love me and that’s fine but I just thought you should know about it”

I could feel the tears fall from my face, I didn’t know why I was crying but I was. I felt betrayed, I felt like this was personal even though I knew it wasn’t. I had been by his side for the past 10 years. I remember when he told me he was miserable at work, I remember when he called me in the middle of the night when I was in Japan to tell me about the pipe bomb he dropped. I remember how they fired him moments after we said I do, I remember being by his side when he told me he wanted to start UFC, I remember being so proud of him despite his loss, I remember the tears we shared as I mended his wounds. I remember when he told me he wanted to start wrestling again, I was by his side through his whole stint in AEW. So hearing he was going back to a company that almost killed him, killed me, feeling like I had been living a lie. 

All I wanted to do was cry, over what I’m not sure exactly. Maybe it was the return, maybe it was about the fight, maybe it was the fact that he didn’t fight for us. I felt like a small child, I just wanted to cry and have Phill hold me like how he used to but that was wrong. That was then and this is now, when I looked at the man who sat across from me I saw the old Phill. Something inside him had changed, his hair starting to grow out, the gray in his beard returning, the love in his eyes. This was the man I fell in love with. 

I could tell that he wanted to hug me, he still knew me and he knew what I needed, he always did. He didn’t know what to do so I did it for him. “Can I have a hug?” I asked him softly ashamed of how vulnerable I was. “Of course love”

We stayed like that for a while, holding each other in a loving embrace, in a comfortable silence, neither one of us wanting to let go but knowing it was wrong. There was something so comforting about it, being back in the place I called home, with the man I onced loved, lying on an old couch that was falling apart but neither of us wanted to replace. It was like old times, I felt at peace, I was scared, terrified but this told me that things would be okay. 

Phill was the first to break the silence “You have no idea how much I missed this” he said softly as he began to draw shapes on my back, something that never failed to calm me. If anything it made things worse, it was too much. Everything felt too normal. He must have noticed that I had gotten more upset as he let go. “I’m sorry, this is too much isn’t it?” he asked. I didn’t respond. 

“What’s wrong Y/n?” He knew I was thinking about something. “What if I made a mistake?” I told him truthfully. To be quite honest up until this very moment I was still mad at him. 

“This doesn’t feel real Phill. Up until half an hr ago I still hated you but us sitting here in a home we used to share, this old couch, fuck you even kept all of my artwork. This feels too normal. You know that things can never go back to the way they were, I’m sorry but I can’t forget that fight. Do you even realize the long lasting effects that has left on me and everyone involved. You know I don’t care about that Perry one, you know that I thought he deserved it but for god sakes Phillip I watched you beat the shit out of my own brothers. There is something about this that feels too good to be true. It feels wrong, I miss you, I miss you so much, but I also hate you so much that I fucken love you. You just had to fight The Elite, why not The Dark Order or JAS, why me? Why after 10 years of loving it is all being thrown away after a silly little fight you started?” 

With every word I said I could see the guilt in his eyes, it was almost like he wanted to cry but didn’t want to show the vulnerability. “My love, I have tried everything to make things right, I know neither of us truly want this divorce but like you said it’s what's best. I’m sorry I didn’t fight hard enough for us, I thought it would have made things worse but by me doing nothing created damage I can never repair. If it means anything I will personally apologize to both Matt, Nick and Kenny, fuck I’ll even apologize to your dad. I know he always hated me”

“What about Adam?” I cut him off “This whole thing started over your hatred for him. You never once apologized to him.  Did you see his match with Swerve? That’s what he has to do to get the fans back behind him after you destroyed that cowboys career for no reason” 

“Y/n?......Y/n?.... You alright?” Renee called out, breaking me from my trance 

“Oh yeah I’m fine. Just thinking” I responded 

“We can wait, we don’t have to do this now. I know there’s alot going on” She told me reassuringly 

“I’m just still trying to process everything that has happened Renee” I told her as I looked at the grandfather clock that sat across from me reading 7:40 pm. “Raw’s on soon, do you think I should watch it, see what he has to say?” I asked Renee as I began nervously twisting my hair. 

“It’s up to you. I don’t want to be rude when I say this or anything but we both know he will probably talk shit about everyone during whatever it is that he has to say” Renee was right, Punk had a thing for shitting on his former employers and friends, I know this time would be no different. Knowing that The CM Punk would be on Raw tonight just felt weird, it was almost 10 years since he was fired. Even though I knew about his return it was way different hearing him say it then seeing it with my own two eyes. 

Since I  knew about the return, why was I in such shock once I heard his theme play. It was indeed real, the fans going crazy as the impossible was made possible. Chicago's son was home, home in the WWE almost 10 years later. My emotions were all over the place, on one hand I was excited, so proud of him like I always would be. The other part was scared, scared of the impact this would have on AEW, sure ratings were down but how could you compete with the return of Randy Orton and CM Punk in the same night. Part of me felt betrayed, after everything I did for him for what All Elite Wrestling did just to get stabbed in the back and join the other place. Another  part of me wished I was there, hidden within the crowd, in some disguise being able to immerse myself within the crowd, getting to experience one of his returns in person once more. Looking into his eyes you could tell that this is what he needed, he was truly home. He was happy, still in shock himself that he was back in a company that not even six months ago still had him banned.

I thought about what Phill told me earlier, ‘If Hunter and I can make up I have hope that we might be able to make things right.’ After that talk I couldn't get him off my mind. I knew if  he wanted he could just use that Chick Magnet charm and I would come running back but I needed to remind myself of the pain he caused me. How the past 14 months of my life had been an absolute hell. Everyday I look in the mirror and am shocked that I made it out alive, how somehow I was strong enough to tell that little voice in my head to shut up. I knew that chasing the feelings that were coming back was a suicide mission. I knew I shouldn't watch Raw but here I am getting home just in time to find my ex lover on the screen. I mean how bad could it be? 

[razorblade180-heated]

Early Christmas Gift

[Warning, smut. Like the whole thing]

It had been a looooog day for Jaune Arc. The end of a crazy mission that had far too many explosions, the loss of his wallet for half the day which forced him to miss his boat, and finally, bad turbulence on a flight all the way back to Vale. Now it was the dead of night and he was wheeling his luggage down the sidewalks. At least he didn’t vomit on the ride, this time.

“Note to self, Vacou kids are amazing pickpockets.” He mumbled aloud. Thank goodness Ren was quick on his feet and that Nora could be as scary as she could be sweet. If not, things could’ve been worse. Now that he was back in the city, his Scroll was practically blowing up with messages. Notably, his girlfriend, Yang, called a little more than Ruby. Before he could finally return a call, his scroll rang with Yang’s name.

He laughed nervously and smiled, preparing himself as he answered. “H-”

“SO YOU ARE ALIVE!? WHAT THE HECK MAN!?” The blonde yelled, relieved and annoyed.

Honestly, less aggressive than he expected. “Hi baby. I’m sorry.” Jaune deflated as he spoke. “Today has been a day.”

“That’s putting it mildly. Weren’t you supposed to be home seven hours ago? Did the mission go south? You didn’t get hurt did you?”

“No, the mission was pretty Nora core. All and all we made good time but then someone stole my stuff, missed my boat; lots of other very, very exhausting stuff. I’m walking home as we speak.”

“Wow. That’s…definitely a lot. Wait, you’re walking? It’s nearly midnight. You could’ve called me or someone to pick you up from the port.”

“I figured everyone was asleep.”

“Get real. Do you really think I’d be sound asleep before I knew you were okay?”

Those words warmed his heart greatly. “Thanks Yang. I’m fine though. Vale isn’t some ghost town at night. I am sorry though. We had plans to meet today. You must’ve been waiting a while.”

“You…could say that.” Yang laughed sheepishly. “Here I was, ready to see my boyfriend after we finished our missions and his annoying personal challenge was achieved.”

“A month without sex is a test of will and power.” He defended.

“November is the time for good food and being thankful. Anything else is wild. Besides, we’ve both gone years without fun stuff. Why add a month?”

“Heh, I don’t think being a single or a virgin counts. You’re just opted in at that point. How did your mission go by the way?”

“Got home on time.”

“Ouch… where’d the warmth go?” He teases.

“I know you’re fine now. If you want warmth then…maybe I should see you?”

“You’re an island away. Even if you caught the final flight I’d feel guilty. Though if it makes you feel better…I’ve been missing you all day.”

“…Always the charmer. I’ve definitely been missing you too.” She said, a little more bashful than usual.

“There’s always tomorrow. I’m definitely not going anywhere. Aside from grocery shopping.”

“Have you eaten?”

“My apartment should still have something edible. I’ll probably grab a snack, bathe, and crash.” He finally reached his building’s street. “Anyways, I’ve officially made it home safely. Just several feet away. Now you can have pretty dreams knowing I’m safe.”

“Nope. Not until you go through your front door. I’m not hanging up until you do.”

“Okay, okay. Heh, honestly with my luck something crazy would happen if I hung up early.” He laughed.

“Please don’t jinx yourself.”

Jaune made his way down the hall, up some annoying stairs, and to the front of his door.

“Kay, now you are free to sleep.”

“Have a wonderful night, handsome.” Yang made a kiss noise over the phone and hung up.

Just like that, Jaune felt the warmth again. She was so good to him. He’d definitely have to treat her to a dinner or some kind of club date. The man found his keys and went inside his home at last. Instantly his nose was greeted with wonder and bliss. That was…odd. He put down his belongings and walked over to the kitchen; a flick of the light revealed a hot box of pizza. Jaune had to do a double take to make sure this was his place. He then noticed Yang’s emblem drawn in orange on the box.

“Ah, that’s why she asked if I ate.” He smiled before quickly going back to being confused. How was the pizza hot? Yang had a key to his place but when was she over here? Did she leave briefly before he called? Unless…

Jaune looked towards the absolute darkness that was his living room and squinted. Not that it helped with the balcony blinds shut. “Yang?”

His call was answered with snickering. “Hehehe, I do love watching your brain at work. Although…” She pulled the metal lamp string next to her to light up the room. “You’re also cute when it’s derailed.

And derailed it was. There his cute girlfriend was, sitting on his black leather recliner his family had bought him. Her smile was cheeky as well as ear to ear. She sure caught him by surprise, but the real shock was her outfit. A silly little Santa hat on top of her head jingled while the only thing on her body was a red tube top with white frills that was fighting for his life, a matching miniskirt that barely went halfway down her thighs, and very, very long red stockings that compensated for the skirt’s lack of…well, skirt.

Jaune’s mouth went dry and his eyes embarrassingly wide. It was as if Yang had knocked the exhaustion out of them. He wasn’t quite sure where he should’ve been looking at first, but then noticed despite how confidently the lady sat there with her legs crossed, her cheeks were branded pink and her gaze, while excited, was also avoiding complete eye contact.

“For the record, I’ve been in this for quite awhile.” She said, breaking the silence. “It took guts to commit to this surprise.”

“Now I’m curious what you would’ve done if I had called you to pick me up!”

“Then Remnant would’ve gotten a hot Mrs. Claus on a motorcycle.” She smirked. “Although I’m actually very relieved that was not the case. It’s cold out there!”

Not the issue Jaune thought she was going to say but he rolled with it. Not that he had much choice. Yang finally stood up and slowly walked towards him, draping her arms over his shoulders and giving a more endearing grin despite her obvious flustered face. “Welcome home. As you can see, I missed you.”

He nodded, “Yeah, I can feel the yearning. Hehe, you look…wow. Talk about an early present.” His hands automatically went to hold her waist.”

Yang got on her toes and gained a very sweet and joyful kiss. She’s glad her efforts paid off, but she could tell Jaune really had a long day. “Go grab a slice and unwind yourself. I’m not going anywhere so- mmph!?”

Her offer was outright denied, thrown to the side as Jaune pulled her body closer and back into a more passionate kiss that fluttered her heart and stole her breath. The longer kept her in his arms, the more she found herself melting into the embrace to the point her knees buckled before he allowed her to breathe again.

Frazzled, Yang found herself stammering and chewing on her bottom lip. “I um- I uhh can wait a while longer for you to rest.”

“I’ve made you wait long enough.” He said with yearning and restrained lust as he pulled her back into a kiss that took custody of her tongue.

Yang felt herself rise up onto her toes as Jaune’s hands found residence on her shapely rear. He didn’t think twice about squeezing it as he picked her up and allowed her legs to wrap around his waist. It didn’t take long before her man went a step further in sliding his hands under the provocative skirt. Jaune quickly ended their kiss to gaze at her as her face grew red from his curious expression.

“No underwear huh?” He said, sinking his digits into warm flesh. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Funny. I was wondering the same thing.” Her hands rubbed his broad chest. “Come sit on the couch for you me will ya?”

He followed her quest and sat right in the middle of the couch. Yang was about to get off him for the next step, but was clearly taken by surprise when his teeth tugged her tube top down, freeing her massive chest before ravishing them. A jolt ram through her spine as his warm tongue lapped around her nipples. His hands kept her waist pressed down on her lap to the point she had no choice but to feel his pulsing cock through tight jeans. Nevertheless, Yang couldn’t stop her hips from grinning along it, dampening the fabric severely.

“H-Hey…wait! I-mmm” Her voice shook, feeling him sink his teeth into her. Jaune leaned forward, putting Yang on her back as he continued devouring her body. “Jaune! Hold on~ I…had a whole routine~” Yangs mewls only served to make him more daring. His tongue trailed up her neck, causing her entire body to arch as he met her lips again for another kiss. Yang was overwhelmed with the scent of the boy and his rough day, which she increasingly found more and more dulling to her senses. She didn’t even notice Jaune had unzipped his pants until she felt his buring hot tip rubbing along her folds. “Mmmph”

Jaune could already feel her lips quivering as they coated his cock. To get this excited so quickly; he wasn’t one to talk though. He began pushing his hips continuously into the molten warmth.

“Aaaaah!” Yang felt the wind leave her body as Jaune’s thick cock spread her body apart and filled her inch by inch until she felt the weight of his balls against her ass. He slowly began dragging himself out halfway before plummeting back in as he grunted. “Ah fuck!” Yang gripped his forearms as her body tripped to adjust.

“Gods, I missed you. You’re so wet.”

“Who’s fault is that!?” Yang’s breathing became sharper as Jaune started moving. “Nng, too big. Rock solid too~”

“It has been a long month. I’m dying for a release.”

“How do you think I feel!? It hasn’t been easy for me either.” She pouted. Suddenly she felt his movements slow. “Jaune?” He raised himself up and looked down at her with a shocked look from between her legs. “What?”

“Are you telling me you didn’t touch yourself the entire time?”

Yang felt heat rush to her face. Looking at him became a lot harder so she turned her head to the side. “What would be the point? Even if I used a toy, I just wouldn’t feel as good as you.”

A brief silence fell on them. Yang awaited his response when she suddenly felt him twitch inside her. Jaune’s hands held her waist tightly and raised her lower body off the couch with ease, causing her to look his way. “What are you-” was all she could manage before seeing Jaune thrust his hips forward, causing another series of jolts as he began to go all out.

Yang’s mouth fell open and stayed that way as voiceless, broken cries left her throat until a scream finally broke out. “AAAAGHN~” her brain became a mess, her eyes fluttering at the sight of jaune mercilessly fucking her pussy until their sex became loud and wet. Her stomach felt like fire as her hips became numb with the pleasure of being turned inside out. Each deep rub made her gasp for air she couldn’t gain while her chest bounced to the rough rhythm. “B-baby. Baby! Aaah!” Yang reached for him and he gladly returned to her embrace. She knew despite her pleas, his pace would not falter; nor did she want it to. Their pleasure had built too quickly to turn back now. With a final raise of his hips, Yang felt the man bury himself deep inside and release a rush of heat that made her body squeeze him for more as her vision blurred momentarily. When she recovered, Jaune was already pulling out slowly and giving both of their bodies a break. Still, if you were to go by appearances, Jaune’s body hadn’t calmed down in the slightest.

“Looks like all of you missed me.” Yang huffed, sitting up as her legs gained some feeling. “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were trying to have a kid.”

Jaune watched the woman run her middle finger along her slit to pick up some of the lust he left dripping in her. Yang looked him dead in the eyes as she lapped up the naughty taste, making him blush.

“I had an entire routine planned out and you threw it to the side. Not that I mind.”

“You can’t say the things you said a

and wear this without expecting me to get riled up.”

“Heh, touché.” Her gaze fell on his erection, the near seven inches of solid flesh was still ready. Might as well start her plans now, Yang thought. She leaned forward, crawling on hands and knees until she was in the perfect spot to lower her head.

Jaune shuddered as he felt her hot lips wrap around his length to lick him lavishly. Now he knew Yang was horny for sure. Giving head was never her favorite activity in this fun process, but now her face was happily burying itself in his lap repeatedly. His left hand brushed the blonde bombshell’s hair aside for an unobstructed view of her work.

Yang ran her tongue up and down the girth base, polishing it while making faint moans and wet smacks to turn him on more. She must’ve been losing her mind because the way his taste and smell overwhelmed her senses in the best way possible. Her grip on reality only came back when Jaune's hand struck her rear suddenly, his middle and ring finger slipping inside her body to stir her desires harder.

“Mmmm~”

Jaune couldn’t stop his smirk. “Oh you like that?”

“Mmhmm~” Yang readied herself and pressed down in one motion to feel this man in her throat before coming up for air. Yang could feel his digits grow relentless as they sped up. Unable to focus, she freed Jaune from her mouth in a fit of panting and mewls. Her hips couldn’t stop shaking, pushing against his hand to feel each knuckle rub deeper. “Gods, why is this so good?”

“Cum if you need to. Let me see that pretty face.”

“No~ I…I wanted to use my tits on you. But now I…I’m…” Yang let out a long, heartfelt sigh. How did things get this messy so fast? “Put it back in me. I want it.”

Jaune retracted his fingers and did his best to regain his own composure; a difficult task when the love of his life not only pleaded, but brazenly kissed along his shaft in a stupor of want and desire. “Ngh, Yang, get on my lap if you want it.”

Yang got on her knees then swung her right leg to the other side of Jaune’s waist. The boy wasted no time massaging and kneading her chest, riddling it with bits as Yang cooed. Her body dropped slowly, piercing herself onto Jaune’s flesh.

“Aaaaghn~” her hands ran up his chest and gripped his shoulders as Yang started bouncing on his lap, putting all her weight down each time to feel her womb get knocked on. Jaune’s mouth stayed busy where it was but his hands returned to her rear, molding it like clay as he helped push her down to the base. Her hips buckled. “Fuck!”

Heavy, wet smacks echoed every time her ass slammed onto Jaune’s lap. The man couldn’t believe the tightness that surrounded him; the way it clung it his length and coated it with ecstasy that reached his thighs. Engulfed by Yang’s heat, Jaune finally took a second to separate his lips from his body and removed his shirt. Yang’s arms all but sprang out towards him right after, pulling him into a feverish kiss while her hips moved on their own before his hands returned.

“You’re so in love with my ass tonight.” Yang hummed.

“I’m in love with it every night.” He continued kneading it, his fingers rubbing all of it. “Hey, so how much did you prepare for today?”

Yang didn’t get the question at first, until she felt a single finger tracing her asshole. Yang couldn’t hide the state of blushing red he put her into with his pesky intention. To make it worse, her body already gave him the answer to the question. Yang buried her face into the crook of Jaune’s neck and quivered as the naughty middle finger pressed into her slowly. A moan came from her throat and her hips worked over time on his cock as Jaune began to play his little game.

He could already feel her walls frantically twitching but he knew he could make Yang go crazy. He wanted to make the month of emptiness mean everything. He nipped at her ear as he continued fingering her. “You’re such a good girl, you that? Doing all this for me; allowing me to cut loose~” he thrusted up suddenly.

“AAAHH!” His nipping turned into feverish licks as well. Yang tried staying strong but now he was meeting her thrusts and pumped his finger into her more quickly. Her body became repeated jolts of pleasure to the point Yang could only bite her lover’s shoulder as a way to soften her growls.

Jaune’s only panting became like a drunken breath as he approached his end. “Good girl~” he cooed, leaning right into her ear and whispering it one more time. “Gooood girl.” He pressed her hips down against his waist, going as deep as possible. “Here’s your reward!” He grunted, cumming for the second time.

Every muscle in Yang’s body tensed all at once. She was certain she’d scream, yet the immense rush of pleasure stole voice, leaving nothing but a silent yell as she clung to him like a girl on a wild roller coaster. Pulse after pulse, she felt her insides get marked by Jaune. The dork was brazen enough to call it a “reward” and she had half a mind to thank him for it. They were going crazy. Not that she hated it for a second.

Yang felt Jaune relax under her body while she found the strength to set up after his hands finished toying with her. “Wow, that was- hmm” Yang stopped short as she witnessed Jaune struggling to keep his eyes open. Poor guy was spent! It was almost hard not to laugh. “Pfft, gee, looks like someone should’ve eaten.”

“I was hungry for other things.” He groaned, wrapping his arms around her torso and resting his face in her chest. “But now that pizza sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Oh what to do with you?” Yang giggled, her hands combing through his hands. Truthfully, she wanted him to stay inside like this a little longer, but the last thing she wanted was her boyfriend withering away. Yang kissed the top of his head. “I’ll go fix you a plate.”

“You’re wonderful.”

“And you’re outstanding. My hips are still floating.” She said, embarrassed by her own honesty.

“Let’s wash up together after we eat.”

“Only washing?” She teased, only to feel him twitch inside of her. Yang gasped a little. Jaune raised his head to look into her eyes with a gaze that made her chew on her bottom lip again. Tonight was going to be a long night. “Welcome home.”

[graciegoeskrazy]

Neeeeeeed more of Marty’s daughter and George! Was thinking of their bond/dynamic when George was taking care of her while Matty was sick plssss

is there somebody that can watch you?

george daniel + niece!healy!reader

warnings: fluffffff, being sick, i think that’s all????

a/n: Hi! i like this one it’s adorbs. ty anon!!!

You never heard the quiet footsteps coming into your room. It wasnt until the slight sinking of your bed and the gentle hand on your shoulder that you finally woke up.

When you opened your eyes you were greeted with George.

“George?”

“Hi, Bubs.”

“Daddy is sick. He doesn’t feel well, so you’re gonna spend some time with me. Okay?”

“Is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. He just needs some rest.”

George got a text from your father less than an hour ago. It was only 7 in the morning at the moment.

‘Just woke up. I feel like shit.’

‘Alright?’

‘I need you to take care of baby girl for the day. I don’t want to get her sick.’

‘You know you don’t need to lie to get me to hang out with your kid. She’s more fun to hang out with.’

‘I’m not lying. I’m sick.’

‘Mhm…’

‘Mate I have a 102.2 degree fever.’

‘Ew stay away from me.’

‘Christ can you just come and pick up my kid?’

‘Hehe yeah i’m on my way.’

Next thing you know, George was in front of you waking you up, packing up a couple changes of clothes because it was very likely you would be with him for a couple days, and picking you up and heading out the door.

Matty was lying on the couch in his robe and an array of blankets drinking a cup of tea. You and George walked into the room and headed to the front door. George was carrying you with one arm and your mini suitcase with the other. You noticed your father called for him.

“Daddy?”

“Hi, darling.”

He looked like shit. He could tell by the look on your face that you were worried about him and it made his heart swell. That and the fact that you were still half asleep was a recipe for absolute adorableness

When George walked into his flat you were fast asleep in his arms with you head lying on his shoulder. Charli walked out from the bedroom when she heard the door open in close, and smiled at the adorable sight in front of her.

“Look at my little baby!” She whispered.

“Poor girl is passed out.”

She smiled and kissed her fiance. “Any plans for the day?”

“Yeah. hanging out with little Healy.”

…

Cut to a few hours later, Charli and you were sitting in the living room floor coloring notebook pages on either side of the coffee table. George came in with drinks for the wo of you and sat down next to Charli.

“Whatcha drawing babe?” He asked you.

“Princess.” You said.

“That’s a beautiful princess.”

“Do you like it?” You held the picture up to Charli.

She smiled. “I do. I love her dress.”

“Me too. I want to get married in it.” You said, continuing to color.

“No boys till you’re 30,” George said.

“That’s okay. Boys are gross.”

“What?! I’m a boy, does that mean I’m gross?”

“Yeah. You messy.” The couple let out a laugh.

“Hey!” George said.

Charli readjusted. “Boys can be fun! You can go on dates with them and hang out together and marry them.”

“Yeah. When I get married I want a pretty, silver ring and a big, white, puffy dress. Like Cinderella.”

George eyed Charli. They had just gotten engaged a little less than 2 weeks ago and hadn’t yet told you the news. “You know…I know someone who’s gonna get married.”

“Who?” You asked not looking up from your work.

“Auntie Charli.”

Your head shot up which caused the couple to laugh a little but. “You?” You asked. Your jaw was hund wide open. Charli nodded. “With Bubba?” You asked, pointing.

“Yep!” She said.

You ran around the table and hugged her tight. She did the same.

“Isn’t that exciting?!” She asked with a smile.

“You’re gonna look like a princess.” You said while pulling away. George just watched with a smile.

“I know! And you and your daddy get to come and we’ll get you your very own dress to wear so you and I can be princesses together.”

You smiled wide and big.

[peonierose]

How are Bryce and Luna coping during the first month of being parents, and to twins no less?

”Love Me Tender“

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Bryce Lahela (M!MC) x Luna Auclair (F!OC)

Words: 2,428k

TW: None. Mentions of breastfeeding.

Summary: Bryce and Luna are newly minted parents and weren’t prepared of struggling to put their twins to bed. Will they succeed?

A/N: Thanks so much for your ask @liaromancewriter it inspired me for two fics actually. ”Love Me Tender“ is one of them 🥰 The Title was inspired by one of the greatest artists and hot guys who’s ever lived, Elvis Presley 🩷

Bryce

It was 4:35 in the morning, and both Lunes and I were still awake. Trying to put the twins to bed. 

I sighed. 

How‘d my life come to this? Don’t get me wrong. I love our girls more than anyone I could ever love, but getting them to sleep is a real struggle. 

We put them to bed hours ago and put them on the mobile, letting pretty stars and moons go by, but their sleep didn’t last long. 

They woke up two hours ago and won’t fall asleep.

What happened to peace and quiet? One week prior, everything was great. They didn’t mention this quick transition in the pregnancy books I read. Maybe I read the wrong books? 

Well, I guess they covered other stuff, but not what to do when your kids wake you up at 4 a.m.

Luna suddenly sits up with Kehlani and walks her around the room. With Alaia in my arms, I go and get the bunnies they got from Ethan, their godfather, hoping that’ll soothe them into sleep. 

They hang onto the bunnies for a few seconds, but they’re still fussy. It didn’t work. Alaia's little face was still red from crying. 

So maybe plans c or d could work? Damn, we could really use Keiki’s help, but she’s on a field trip with her study group. 

Luna’s voice brings me back into the moment. 

”They’re not hungry, right? We changed them, and now what?“ Luna asks while I’m holding Alaia close to my chest. As I place kisses on top of her head, her soft blonde hair smells of lavender shampoo. 

I read somewhere that babies like skin-to-skin contact. So that’s why Lunes and I are basically standing in the middle of the room in our underwear. 

”I don’t know. Honestly, I’m close to crying with them. Then it’ll be a duet.“ Luna says it with a sigh. 

I exhale a long breath I’ve been holding in because I’m frustrated too. God, I‘ve never appreciated sleep more than I do now.

”What if we show them a video with marine animals? They seemed to love that last time.“ I suggested it, and I could see Luna’s shoulder droop in relief.

”Let’s give it a try.“ Luna adds, and we walk downstairs and sit down with the twins as I turn on Disney+ and select a nature documentary about marine animals, one that’ll last for at least two and a half hours. 

Soon, both twins' eyes are glued to the screen. 

We didn’t want to start them too early on screen time, but sometimes you have to in order to function as a human being and get some rest. 

After 30 minutes or so into the documentary, I saw both their eyes drooping, and they fell asleep.

”You’re a genius.“ Luna whispers, scared to wake them up.

"Well, this genius is too scared to move.“ I say frozen in place.

Luna sighs.

”Is now a bad time to have to pee?“ She says it with a guilt tinge in her voice.

I close my eyes. 

"Oh, come on, Lunes. Couldn’t you have peed before they fell asleep? What if we wake them up? Look how long it took before they fell asleep.“ 

Luna softly moves around.

”I’ll be quick, I promise.“ She says this and gently places Kehlani on the couch. As soon as her feet hit the floor, Lani stirs and starts to cry. Rosie isn’t far behind. 

”I hope your pee is worth waking the twins over.“ I'm trying to massage their little backs, hoping it’ll soothe them. 

Twins are funny in that regard. They have a special bond, especially if they’re identical twins, like our girls. 

But the downside is that as soon as one is ill or cries, the other does as well. 

They’re creepily in sync. Hopefully, it won’t stay like this forever—the crying, I mean. I know Kehlani and Alaia will turn out wonderful.

I turn to my wonderful girls.

”Why don’t you stop crying? Daddy would really like to get some sleep. So I can wake up pretty.“ 

They look up at my words and then continue crying. 

That’s when it hits me amidst the crying. I remember when Keiki and I were little, my mom used to sing to us »Love Me Tender« by Elvis Presley; it always calmed us down. Maybe we can try it with the twins. 

As soon as Luna is back from her bathroom break, I gently take the twins into my arms.

”I think I have an idea.“ I say the idea for the song is taking root. 

We walk upstairs, and Luna eyes me skeptically. 

”You know how to brew a potion that will make them sleep for seven hours straight?“ She asks excitedly. 

I gave her a sideways look. 

"Yeah, that was a little bit unrealistic.“ She shrugs, and I laugh softly. 

”Let’s try singing »Love Me Tender« by Elvis Presley.“

”Why that song?“ She asks as we reach the twin's bedroom. 

I breathed out, and as I laid the twins in their beds, I turned towards Luna, who never looked more beautiful. 

With wild hair, just in her underwear, illuminated by the light from the hallway. 

I put a strand of her hair behind her ear, and she smiled tenderly at me. It’s these moments I treasure the most, even with the twins crying. 

I pulled her closer as I told her about the idea I had. I want to reveal a bit more about myself and my childhood, which I don’t talk about nearly enough, but I should, because whether it was good or bad, memories are important to talk about. 

”My mom used to sing that song to me and Keiki all the time. Whenever we were sick, or when we were sad and had a hard time, it just always made things a bit easier.“ I explained.

Luna‘s smile reached her tired eyes, and she cupped my cheek to give me a soft kiss. 

”Let’s give it a try. I think I’ve still got my ukulele somewhere. Let me go grab it, and we’ll try singing that song. To be honest, it’s one of my favorite songs by Elvis. He was such a hot guy and so sweet. And what a voice, my god! They just don’t make them like that anymore.“

"Hey, I’m trying to save the world, and you’re calling another man hot? Shame on you, Lunes.“

”You didn’t let me finish. They don’t make them like that anymore, but you are the exception.“ She grinned. 

”You were always my favorite.“ I smiled and slapped her butt, making her laugh out loud as she went to look for her ukulele. Her laughter was still echoing from the walls, making me grin too. 

After a minute or so, Luna came back with her pink ukulele, adorned with flowers, hearts, and moons. She sat down in front of the twin beds and played the first tunes.

”I had no idea you played the ukulele.“ I was surprised to see her play the ukulele like a pro.

”I learned it along with Hula dancing.“

“Can I get this as a late birthday present?“ I imagined her in a hula get-up. The best image ever. 

Luna sighed.

"Really, that’s where your mind went to?“ She chastised me.

”Don‘t blame me. I’m tired and horny. And I’m not sorry.“

She shook her head, grinning. Soon the first tunes of the ukulele joined with her soft voice, and the twins stopped their crying. Too fascinated by what’s going on to keep crying. 

Yes, I pump my fist in the air; it looks as if the plan worked. Luna and I fist-bumped each other because our plan turned out better than expected. 

As the last note echoed in their bedroom, they soon fell asleep, and it looked as if we could go and catch some sleep too. 

”Thank God for our parents, who had good ideas.“

Luna nodded. 

We put on the mobile with the moon and stars spinning around softly and didn’t close the door entirely as we went to our bedroom. 

When we were lying down in bed, Luna turned to me, and I put an arm around her to pull her closer to me. 

”Let me guess you have a million questions.“ I said, and she elbowed me in the side. I laughed and kissed her on top of her head. 

”You miss her, don’t you?“

I don’t even try to act as if I don‘t know who she’s referring to.

"Yeah, I do, more than I care to admit.“ I turn around, so we’re lying face-to-face. 

”Maybe you need some love me tender too.“ Luna says this as she’s leaning into me. 

”That would be nice.“ I smiled against her lips.

Two days later...

Luna

We’re both leaning on the kitchen counter, bleary-eyed, and with our eyes half closed. 

”This is the second time in a row we haven’t slept.“ I mumbled. 

Bryce doesn't even look up from his coffee. 

”I mean, we knew this was going in, but it still stinks sometimes.“ 

I nodded and almost missed my mug in front of me.

”Damn. I never appreciated coffee as much as I do now. I love our kids, but I’d give my left kidney for two hours of sleep. Not even night shifts are this bad.“ 

”Come on, we'll get through this.“ I tried to sound more cheerful but just ended up sounding tired. But from the smile tugging at Bryce’s lips, I could still make him smile, which is a win in my book.

I’m about to take another sip from my juice since I‘m nursing when our doorbell rings, and I just grumble. 

”I’ll go get it.“ I said, and Bryce just mumbled incoherent words. 

I opened the front door, seeing my cousin Skyler, or Sky for short, stand in front of me.

”Good morning, sunshine.“ He looked well rested, with no dark circles under his smooth tan skin. His piercing dark blue eyes shone as if he sprang from the youth fountain. It’s so unfair how good he looked compared to my tired self. 

I groaned again and shielded my eyes from the glaring sun coming inside our house.

I stepped aside, and Sky walked in. 

”Is it a good morning? Huh. It’s already morning, and the sun is shining. Gosh, I’ve lost all feeling for what time it actually is or what day.“

Sky turned my way and only raised his eyebrows.

”You’re being weird.“

I sighed and joined Bryce in the kitchen. I grinned as Bryce held on to his steaming coffee mug, half asleep. 

”I came to the rescue. I thought I’d have to send a search party after your radio silence.“ 

”Please make him stop saying words.“ Bryce groaned.

”Come on, I’m good with kids, and I’m offering to help.“ Sky grinned. 

”So they sent you?“

”B!“ I exclaimed.

”Look, man. I’m really sorry. I’m just so fucking tired.“ Bryce sighed.

”Me too.“ I joined in while taking a sip of my mango and pineapple juice. 

"Yeah, Luna too.“ Bryce said while smiling tiredly. 

”No hard feelings. It’s all good. You‘ll get a free pass. This once. I know mom and dad struggled with us; you know, we're triplets, so I thought I’d help you out.“ Sky explained. 

Bryce’s eyes were tired from being up all night helping me change the twins and trying to make them fall asleep. 

We’re exhausted, and it’s only been four months since we brought the twins home. 

Sky looked from me to Bryce.

”You guys look as if you’ve partied all night. And it was a weird theme party.“ He teased. 

"Yeah, if you count changing, breastfeeding, and getting the twins to sleep, and it takes almost all night? Yeah, then we partied real hard.“ I sighed.

And then I added. 

"Damn, breastfeeding really hurts. Who knew? I really hope the pain lessens a bit.“

”I’m even too tired to make a dirty joke about breasts and make you feel better.“ Bryce sighed and smiled softly but tiredly.

”I don’t need to know about your…uhh…anatomy. Or your female body parts.“ Sky winced. 

”Who’s being weird now?“ I smirked.

”Fair.“

We were all startled when we heard the baby monitor on the kitchen counter squeak. 

Both Bryce and I groaned.

Sky smiled.

”You know what? Why don’t I check up on the little angels? While you guys do whatever it is you do, make out or something.“

”We’re way too tired to make out.“ Bryce and I said it at the same time. 

The fog in my brain lifted, and it hit me. 

”Wait, are you here to babysit?“ 

Sky shrugged. 

"Yeah, why not? I have the next two days off, so I thought I’d take over, and you can go and do whatever it is you’re doing.“

”You’re an angel, and I love you.“ I smiled and hugged him tight. Sky grinned and hugged me back. 

Yep, he’s my favorite cousin. At least right now. 

”She doesn’t mean it.“ Bryce commented with a mischievous glint in his eyes. I grinned, so that’s where Lani and Rosie got it from. 

”Stop being mean.“ I said this to Bryce without any real heat behind my words. 

”Sorry. If you’re true to your word, I’ll go take a nap.“

I stopped hugging Sky for a minute to give B a look.

”Not even showering?“

”I love my bed more than my shower right now.“

"Well, I don’t. So let’s hit the shower.“ 

Sky looked from me to Bryce.

”You are weirding me out. I’ll go look after the twins.“ 

”Thanks Sky.“

”You got it.“ He yelled. 

Bryce and I walked outside to our shower while Bryce mumbled and was grumpy until the water hit his face. 

When we came back from our shower and were settled in our bed, Bryce checked the baby monitor, but the monitor was quiet. It looks as if Sky is a wizard when it comes to calming down kids. 

”It’s so quiet.“ I turned to Bryce.

”What did we do before we had kids? Look at me, sounding pathetic.“

”You don’t sound, and you aren’t pathetic. It’s a new routine for us. And I guess we just have to find our balance.“

We both nodded.

Bryce drew circles on my skin, and I curled up into him, and seconds later we were already asleep while holding hands. 

Life is good when you’re with the people you love. Whether you’re blood-related or not, cherish those moments. 

[birdwonder]

1am date | jason todd

【 ♥ 】 ⸻ you and jason eat mcdonalds @ 1am because there’s nothing more romantic than that. [ tw ;; swearing ]

“ You really know how to make a girl feel like a cheap whore. ” Those words were followed by four fries entering you mouth, the lightly salted flavour staining your tongue. Jason almost dropped the burger in his hands in that moment, his eyes snapping up to stare you, bewildered. The look on his face made you smile and raise a brow.

Significantly less amused, he was quick to ask, “ what the hell are you talking about ? ” There weren’t a lot of good things left in Jason’s life and even less great things, so for the one person he loved more than anything - you - he made sure to treat you as well as he possibly could. Picking up another fry, you waved it lazily in the air and used it to gesture to your boyfriend. “ All I’m saying is, I thought I was worth a little more than McDonalds at- ” You paused to tap your phone screen, digital numbers lighting up in front of a photo of you kissing Jason on the cheek. “ One AM. You hiding me from someone, Jason Todd ? ” Now looking a little more guilty, the said man realised where he may have went a little wrong by calling you up an hour ago and asking you to hop on his motorcycle. “ Aw babe, you know it’s not like that. It’s never going to be like that. ” One of his hands dropped down to cover your’s, gripping it with reassurance. “ I’ve just been so busy, I barely have time for myself let alone my girl. I just want you to know I still want to be with you, even if it’s at ungodly hours of the night. ” You understood. How could you not ? What time did a hero have on his hands ? Instead of him being faced with anger, you offered Jason a sympathetic look while lacing your fingers between his. “ I know hon, I know. ” A small sigh left your lips. “ I just wish we could go somewhere nicer and not be half asleep. But you got your work to do, I get that. ” You then playfully kicked him from under the table, not at all enough to hurt. “ As long as I get to see your stupid mug, I’m happy. ” He laughed back, bring your hand close to his face before planting a kiss on top of it. “ Soon babe, soon. I promise I’ll take you out somewhere better next time. ” “ Yeah you better, ” you teased, knowing full well you’d be happy to do this ten times over.

[joelsmorality]

EYES WIDE OPEN [3]

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader, platonic bonding with Ellie.   Summary: Somehow, you managed to find Joel and Ellie ending their journey just as you were beginning your own. After being captured in David’s resort and witnessing the horrors within, Ellie manages to save your life as she escapes and you end up staying with them for the time being at Ellie’s offer. Yet, things aren’t as they seem, and you’re also not sure if her gruff guardian won’t murder you in your sleep.   Warnings: Some mild angst, Joel being hardheaded, mentions of death.  Note: A bit of a shorter chapter this week, as I’m up to my neck in coursework but I had this half finished and wanted to get it out. Plus, the next one would be hard to split into two parts. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! Tag list (to be added just leave me a comment!): @daddysfavoritesexkitten​ @faceache111​​

Previous Part.

“We’re gonna need to stop for the night.”

Despite the light sleep you had fallen into, Joel’s voice cut through that like a shot. It wasn’t like he was shouting or anything, but the sudden shift back into reality was jarring to say the least. You had curled up in the back with your head resting on the window once you had left the abandoned gas station a couple of hours ago, the dim interior of the truck telling you that you had at least fallen asleep for some of that time.

The scenery had changed, too. Less highway and more like a sort of suburb–the setting sun at least allowed you to see the boarded up houses, weeds and overgrowth crawling up walls and over the long abandoned cars that lined the street. Which made it a bit of a challenge to navigate, you could imagine. Really, you weren’t sure about stopping for the night in a neighborhood you hadn’t checked out yourself, as much as you knew Joel and Ellie could certainly defend themselves.

Considering your lack of a weapon–and not from you refusing one–it made you nervous.

“...I know how to drive,” you offered up, voice a little sleepy but your thoughts had certainly woken you up enough. “I’m pretty rested, if you want to avoid a stop.”

“Not happenin’,” Joel returned, causing you to press your lips together in a thin line, “I’ll also need to get more gas before we leave tomorrow and we should eat.”

“Well, you’re the one running the show,” you muttered, relenting in the moment.

You could understand why they (or, more likely, Joel) didn’t want you carrying a weapon, but it felt like you were being dragged along. If it had been a relaxed drive, no danger, you wouldn’t have much of an issue with that, yet things hadn’t been that way in a long time. For you, at least. You wanted to comment that leaving you unarmed and just following along was more of a liability than giving you something you could use to defend yourself. In the days following your escape it had been fine, but now you could feel a pressure building at how…open you were.

While you knew some self-defense techniques and how to throw a punch, you knew it wouldn’t do much against gunfire and some of the older infected.

It was a frustration that you carried with you while things got set up for the night in one of the abandoned houses. The place had been picked clean, furniture collecting dust and some with faded stains on them that didn’t make you want to touch them. Still, it was closed off and protected against the air outside that still had a bite to it. It was good enough for the night, at least.

Despite everything, exhaustion still hung pretty heavily on you–even with the nap you had taken in the truck. It was what had you backing down from confrontation and just getting some food into you so you could curl up and try to go back to sleep. Ellie and Joel talked between themselves for a bit, though Ellie still seemed closed off and had a look in her eyes that gave you a pang of sympathy for her.

Your offer to let her talk about everything that happened still stood, obviously, but you certainly didn’t want to push her into it.

Really, everything was still so new to you and the situation was draining you somewhat. So, you were pretty happy to try to get some rest once it had gotten late enough.

Yet, you couldn’t explain why you lay on the floor, head propped up by a relatively clean cushion, and stared at Joel’s silhouette as he sat at a table near a window. He leaned back in the chair somewhat and appeared to be holding his side, but otherwise just seemed to watch the dark street below. You rolled over with a small sigh, wrapping your arms around your torso as you tried to make the best of your uncomfortable position on the floor.

It had been easy for you to nod off in the car–the seats were at least comfortable and the rumble of the car helped ease you into a light sleep. This, however, was not really cutting it. Which had your mind wandering, mulling over a number of different things before settling back on the current issue of your frustration at feeling like you were useless in a tight situation.

You knew that if Joel was just going to sit at the window for however long that night, you could try to at least reason him into giving you a gun or something. If your presence on this journey was already annoying him, you figured you didn’t really have to worry about pushing his buttons all that much. Plus, you were trying to be cooperative and prove that you weren’t interested in betraying them, but you knew that the paranoia would just make things worse for everybody in the long run.

With another sigh, you pushed yourself up to a stand with somewhat shaky movements. You glanced over at Joel, who hadn’t moved if he had heard you get up.

Though, he did straighten up somewhat when you moved beyond the table somewhat to pull a chair over to it. The room was dark outside of the light of the moon, fortunately, but you managed to catch the look he tossed your way when you sat down.

“I’m not exactly looking for company,” he remarked lowly, likely to avoid waking Ellie. Though, knowing she had listened in on your conversation with him in the truck, you wouldn’t be surprised if she heard this one too.

“Well, I really wish I could sleep, but I really want to discuss something with you,” you replied, folding your arms on the table so you could lean on them somewhat. “I am really trying to prove that I’m not your enemy here.”

“Never claimed you were an enemy,” Joel said, “You being here is just a complication that we don’t need right now.”

“I don’t want to be a complication, either,” you said around a huff, “Yet, you seem fine with dragging me around like some prisoner. No weapons, not allowed to do anything. I feel like a sitting duck.”

“Door’s open. If you hate being with us so much, you’re free to leave.”

“Are you always this stubborn?”

Despite the darkness not letting you see his expression too clearly, that did earn you the hint of an amused look.

“I’ve been called that a few times,” he replied, shifting somewhat as he glanced toward the closed door. You still noticed him holding his side somewhat–an injury, perhaps. If it was new or old, you didn’t know.

“...I’m really trying to get you to trust me here,” you said after a few moments, letting out a small sigh through your nose. “Just a little. You don’t have to like me. I’ll probably be gone once you guys get to where you’re headed. Just, in the meantime…I’d really like to be able to protect myself a little if you won’t let me help with anything.”

“You don’t get my trust by just askin’ for it.”

“If you want me to earn it, you’ll have to let me try.”

“I don’t want anythin’ from you,” Joel said, making you lean back in your chair somewhat as you had to shove down some frustration that cropped up at his bullheadedness.

“Before the resort…” you started, tapping a hand on your leg a little in thought. “I’m not looking to give you some sob story, this isn’t that, but I’ve been on my own before. I lost a lot of people during the outbreak and in the years that followed–family, friends, my fiance. Anybody who’d look out for me was gone before I knew it. I…know what things are like out here and I know how to defend myself. I’m only decent at hand-to-hand, though. I know guns the best.”

Joel didn’t say anything for a few moments, that tightness still sitting in his expression. What little you could see of it currently, anyway.

“I know it’s a lot to ask…” you continued, “We’re strangers, I get it. However, if you really don’t want me to burden whatever it is you’re doing, giving me a means to protect myself is the best way to do that.”

It would help with your paranoia and anxiety, considering you never really knew who or what could be lurking behind any corner. As much as you wished that getting Joel to give you some leeway wasn’t such an uphill battle, you could understand it to a degree. The infected were dangerous, sure, but it was always the people you had to watch out for in the end.

There was only so much trust you could give strangers, these days.

Though, you couldn’t help but notice the way Joel seemed to regard you for a few moments, a slight shift in his expression before he let out a small breath and glanced out toward the street through the window again.

“We’re gonna need to get some gas tomorrow,” he continued, “some supplies, too. We still have a long drive ahead of us, so I wanted to see if there’s anything in the houses around here. I’ll…see about letting you help. It’ll get us out of here quicker.”

You couldn’t help the small grin that crossed your face, raising your hands somewhat in, what you hoped was, a good-hearted gesture.

“That’s all I’m asking for,” you said around a soft chuckle, getting up from the chair, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

                                                                ***

The sleep you got was shit. That was expected, however.

You dragged that lingering exhaustion with you the following morning, though you were used to the feeling. Unfortunately. It was hard to tell when the last time you had a full night’s sleep, let alone in a good bed, but you knew anything was better than where you had just come from. Still, you were the last one to get up, knowing you were going to feel the ache of a long night sleeping on a hardwood floor.

You were…hopeful, however. It felt like you had made a couple steps forward with Joel, as much as you would hesitate to say you were particularly friendly with each other. Still, you just wanted to feel like you were doing something.

So, you were hopeful that he’d trust you enough to let you have something to defend yourself with. You hadn’t really been joking the night before when you said you felt like some sort of prisoner–no weapons, stay close-by so Joel could keep an eye on you, the suspicion at you attempting to offer a hand with anything. You weren’t planning on being best friends with the man, but you wanted to show that you weren’t looking to be a problem for him either.

At the same time, you could understand his hesitancy and you weren’t surprised to see it on his face once it seemed like they wanted to set out to dig around the neighborhood a bit that morning.

“There’s only so many bullets left in the clip, so make them count,” he said after a few moments, handing you a pistol with a sharp look in his eyes, “Don’t make me regret this.”

“...I wasn’t planning on it,” you replied in a mutter, weighing the weapon in your hands before watching as he approached Ellie.

It was almost night and day with how he treated you in comparison to her, considering the fondness in his tone, the concern that she brushed off with an eagerness to get back out on the road. You didn’t know what happened with them, but it was clear that they had bonded. You couldn’t exactly say you had made any close friends over the last handful of years (and then some, if you were being honest) but it was a strangely isolating experience. As much as you didn’t want to think about it too much, you knew that if David had succeeded, your death would have been easy to cover up.

Shaking your head, you let out a small breath as you headed toward the front door. Regardless of the awkwardness, it was still progress and at least you could feel somewhat better about being back out in the open again.

Tucking the gun away, you followed Joel and Ellie out into the street.

[genevievemd]

Valentine Blues

February 14, 2024

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Genevieve McClure) Word Count: 1189 Rating: G Category: Fluff, Partial Ethan POV Trope(s): 

Summary: There’s a change in their Valentine’s plans

Warnings: none

A/N: I started this an hour and a half ago... who am I? lmao 

She stumbles out of their en suite, wet washcloth on her neck and a gentle hand on her every growing belly. Gently falling onto her and Ethan’s king-sized bed with a groan. She had hoped, with her sixteen week mark just a few days away, that the morning sickness would begin to subside. Though it seems now that it was here to stay. 

She’s had days where its not so bad and days when it’s kept her bedridden and lingers well past the morning, and it seems like today may be the latter. 

And of course to make it all worse, it was Valentine’s Day. One of her favorite days of the year. 

She loved love, and was so excited to celebrate with Ethan. They’d been married for almost two years, and expecting their first child. It was supposed to be their best Valentine’s yet. 

If not for the monster that was morning sickness. 

“Why do they call it morning sickness if it lasts all freaking day.” Gen sighs as another wave of nausea strikes, moving as best she can to sit up against the headboard. 

“I wish I had an answer for you, sweetheart.” Ethan enters the bedroom, a remorseful look on his face. “Try some water. You need to stay hydrated.” 

“Thank you.” She takes the glass from his hand, taking a slow sip. “I don’t think I can manage the reservation for tonight.” 

“It’s already cancelled.” Ethan leans down, kissing her forehead gently and taking the glass form her hand. Putting it down on the nightstand before moving around to the other side of the bed. 

“I’m sorry for ruining Valentine’s Day.” She can’t help but pout, shuffling over to rest her head on his shoulder. “I had a whole plan to be all sexy for you tonight too, before I balloon to the size of a couch, and now it’s ruined because vomiting is the least sexy thing in the entire world.” 

“Lucky for me, and us, there are 364 other days for us to have a romantic evening.” 

“But it’s the day of love!” 

“And we have plenty more in our future, G.” Gently, Ethan rests his hand on her belly, this thumb softly stroking back and forth. “The most important thing is that you and our baby stay healthy.” 

“I know.” She sighs deeply, feeling the wave of sickness pass, snuggling deeper into her husband’s side. “Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Always, my love.” He kisses her head, breathing her in. “Why don’t you try and lay down and get some rest?” 

“Only if you stay until I fall asleep.” She moves away slightly, getting under the duvet and snuggling into her pillow. One hand reaching out to hold his. 

“Of course.” He strokes her hair with his freehand.

As disappointed as she is to be sick on her favorite day, at least she has Ethan. Willing to stay by her side and help her through it all. 

Ethan peaks his head into the bedroom, finding Gen still sound asleep in their bed. He felt terrible, wishing there was a way he could take her morning sickness away. Though, he was more inclined to call it “all day lingering well into the night” sickness. She was suffering and it broke his heart. 

And she was even more upset today, because it was Valentine’s Day. While, he still thought it to be an overly commercialized and pointless day, his wife did not. She had been so excited to go out, telling him all about the new sexy outfit she’d bought specifically for tonight. 

That was another thing he’d been noticing. She was already self conscious and worried about him no longer finding her attractive. 

Little did she know that Ethan believed her to be the most gorgeous creature he’s ever seen and she only got more angelic with every passing day as her belly grows. There would never be a day when he looked at her and thought she was anything less than stunningly perfect. 

Which was why he’d spent the afternoon cultivating everything he needed to make them a romantic Valentine’s Dinner at home. He had run to target while she rested, getting her the most comfy on theme pajamas he could find, and everything he needed to make her some homemade chicken noodle soup. It wasn’t the five star meal they had originally planned, but Ethan was certain it would be perfect nonetheless. 

He continues setting the table, using their wedding china instead of their everyday dishes. Even placing the coupes from that day on the table next to a bottle of sparkling nonalcoholic cider. The last time they’d used them was two years ago, when they bought their vacation beach home on the cape. 

Lighting the candles on the table and dimming the lights, he hears his wife shuffle out of bed. 

“Gen?” He calls out to her, worried she’s heading for their en suite for the umpteenth time that day. 

“I’m good. Just going to brush my teeth. No need to worry, Husband.” 

A few moments later she comes out of the bedroom, eyes wide at the site before her. The rose petals scattered around the table adding the final romantic touch. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, G.” He smiles, holding out his hand for her. 

“What’s all this?” She takes his hand without question, her eyes wet with tears. 

“I couldn’t very well have my pregnant wife sad on Valentine’s Day. So, while you were resting, I snuck out and went to Target.” He presents her a red giftbag, stuffed with glittering tissue paper. “And got you a few things, and what I needed to make you some soup.” 

“You’re…” She sniffles, taking the gift from him. “You’re the best husband ever.”

“Open your gift, Mrs. Ramsey.” 

“Right.” Without ceremony, she rips apart her package. Pulling out the tissue paper, and gasping when she sees the things inside. “You did all this?” 

“Of course. I got you some comfy pajamas, that bath bomb you love and some chocolate. As far as Valentine’s Day gifts go it may not be my best but –” 

She cuts him off with a kiss, hands on his cheeks as she kisses him. Lips moving over his with unrelenting passion and love. 

“This is the best gift ever. I’m gonna go change.” 

“Good. I’ll put dinner on the table.” 

Within five minutes, their sitting at their dining table, pajamas on and food set, staring lovingly at each other. 

“Thank you so much for this.” She picks up her glass, rocking happily in her seat as the sips on her cider. 

“You’re welcome. I won’t stand for my wife to have The Valentines Blues.” 

Her expression melts, soft eyes and even softer smile, reaching across the table to take his hand. “I’m so lucky to have you.” 

“And I’m just as lucky to have, Rookie.”

Gen gets up from the table, stepping around and plopping herself in his lap. As if it’s second nature, they wrap their arms around each other, foreheads pressed together. Silently  basking in their love, knowing there isn’t anything they wouldn't do for each other.

A/N: Hope you liked it! Next fic with be angsty. 

Tagging Separately

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Bound by Choice - Chapter 1

A/N: I need you all to trust me. Yes, I am aware this is utterly self-indulgent and that I have four other books planned out after this one, one of the future books being already outlined and ready to write. I know this is not what I usually write, but, again, I need you all to trust me.

Plus, this was really, really fun to write and I started it when I was in my Peak Pokemon Submas Obsession about a year or two ago now, so it's some of my favorite writing in a while.

Fandom: Pokemon (Black & White, All Media Types, Legends: Arceus)

Characters: Original Character, Kudari | Emmet, Nobori | Ingo

Rating: Teen Audiences

Summary: Andy has always been afraid of pokemon and what it is that they’re able to do, which makes their life rather hard considering they’re twenty-two, live in Unova, and work in Nimbasa City; which is known as the battle capital of their region. Their closest friend and semi-adopted mother being a former gym battle leader also didn’t tend to help matters.

A panic attack on a subway car they thought was empty, however, leads to them meeting the infamous Subway Bosses and learning that pokemon, while terrifying, weren’t the monsters they had grown up believing them to be. Getting sucked up into the lives of the two Subway Bosses and their best friend Gym Leader Elesa might be even more terrifying than the pokemon, however.

AO3 Link: Bound by Choice, Chapter 1

Chapters 2-5 Immediately Available on Patreon

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If you enjoy this story then check out my Writing Commissions.

…or, if you prefer, you can just buy me a ko-fi! ☕ …or, if you have a nice allowance, support me on Patreon! 🪶

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Chapter 1 - Andy

It wasn’t the lack of noise to show the office was empty that had alerted him, or the way his head jerked up from a half-asleep state for the third time, or even how all light in the office had switched from sunny filled glass windows to cheap, flickering overhead lights. No, what alerted Andy to the fact that he had stayed far too late for the third time that week was the slap to his back with the annoyingly bright and cheerful accompaniment of, “Andy! Do they got you pulling doubles again? And on a Friday no less!”

“No, Anthony,” Andy said, forcing himself to not push the words through gritted teeth as his back stung from the ‘friendly’ slap. Anthony wasn’t even a bad person! He was just vaguely dick-ish like every other office coworker who didn’t want to be there. “I’m not pulling doubles. Just finishing up some sheets.” 

“Man,” Anthony sighed, Andy closing his eyes and just barely resisting the urge to groan. That was Anthony’s ‘nostalgic’ sigh. “I wish I had the energy you kids have today.” 

I’m twenty-two, first of all, Andy resisted the urge to scream. And second of all, you’re only seven years older than me! Why in Arceus’ name-?! Andy pushed the thoughts away, focusing on the fact that he was definitely treating himself to something sugary and unhealthy for how much resisting he was doing when it came to maiming his coworkers. 

As it was, Andy simply began disconnecting from his station, nodding and humming in all the right places as Anthony began yet another one of his monologues. If nothing else, Andy could at least be satisfied with the fact that he had finished inputting all the data into the National Dex that his team was supposed to have finished that week. A quick look at his xtrans showed that mercy did indeed exist in the world. If he booked it, he’d make it just in time to grab one of the last trains of the night back home. 

Standing up, and taking a minute to let the wave of dizziness roll through him that came from sitting in a chair for six more hours than he had wanted to, Andy looked to Anthony. The man was still talking. “-really, at this point you might as well just transfer to the night shift with how often you’re here- Hey! We could be desk buddies!” Ah. Anthony was attempting to lead him into the realm of eternal torment. Not today. 

“Something to definitely talk to Lindy about!” Andy fake chirped, pitching his voice into something as cheerful as he could manage when it was almost ten at night and he had clocked in at nine that morning. “For now, though, I should probably get going before they nag at me about overtime. You know how they are.”

Andy faked a laugh, nodded along to Anthony’s own joke that was basically a rip off of his own, and slowly backed away with his bag. The second Anthony turned to bring someone else into the conversation, Andy booked it. 

There was a time Andy would have felt bad about that, but as it was, he could only feel tired relief as he made it past a gauntlet of elevators and into the locker rooms. It was his only safe haven as the night shift workers had already clocked in and all the day workers were long gone. Like he should have been. 

“‘Oh, Andy, I have my bachelorette party tonight! You just have to cover for me!’” Andy mocked under his breath, tugging and pulling his lab coat off of him — Why did they even use lab coats? They worked in data entry! — before tossing it into his too-small locker. “Pretty bold to have two bachelorette parties in the same month,” Andy grumbled, pulling at the tie around his neck.

A quick tug of the clip-on tie and the blue fabric soon followed his lab coat, Andy happily grabbing and squirming into his worn, familiar blue and white hoodie that already made him feel more his age of twenty-two instead of thirty-five. The next time he was given a job recommendation, he would sooner change regions. 

Throwing his satchel around his shoulders and pulling on his old black-and-blue hat he had found in a thrift shop advertising some pokemon tournament from years ago, Andy shot a glance towards the clock in the room and booked it back to the elevator. The trains — especially those of Gear Station — waited for no man. 

Thankfully he made good time through the rest of the building, stepping out of the elevator and onto the bottom floor when the reverabting bark of a Houndoom had him feeling like his heart was about to throw up, give out, or both. He knew — he knew — that the Houndoom was tamed and registered and belonged to the security guard behind the desk who was quietly hushing him, but that didn’t mean anything. 

It didn’t mean anything because as always — as always — he heard his mother’s words whispering through his mind, sharp and cold and so, so true.

Pokemon are dangerous, darling. You’ve seen how much harm they can do, haven’t you? Your friend, Mandy? She was out of school for two weeks because her Houndoom burned her… and they can do a lot worse than that. 

“Evening, Andy!” The guard called — Rupert, if Andy could remember right, which he wasn’t sure that he could. “Don’t worry about the gruff old boy here, you know how he is.” 

“Right.” Andy snapped out robotically, trying to tamp down on his shakes as the Houndoom looked at him and remember, darling, Pokemon are dangerous. You can never trust a creature that could hurt you so easily. “Have a good night.” 

Getting out into the main roads, Andy closed his eyes and took a sharp breath. The Pokemon in Nimbasa were never wild. They all belonged to trainers that could recall them and hide them away in pokeballs. Andy wasn’t in danger in a city this big. He wasn’t.

But what if a Pokemon disobeys its trainer? They warn young trainers all the time, after all, that’s why the Gym Challenge is so important. You can never trust a Pokemon, darling, not even a trained one. You should only fear them-

“Not the time,” Andy muttered forcefully, pushing the old thoughts and memories out of his head as he sped walked towards Gear Station. Every cry and scuttle of a pokemon that he heard had his heart rate ramping right back up, already on edge from something like a Houndoom barking at him. “Not. The time.”

He was getting better, as Lenora liked to point out. Andy didn’t always flinch when pokemon were near him, after all. He sometimes could handle being right beside them and not even feel his heart race! It was just… the bigger pokemon that still set him back. The dangerous pokemon. The battles… 

“Almost home,” Andy cut his thoughts off before almost shoving his glasses off his face with how hard he rubbed at his eyes. It, surprisingly, did nothing to help the headache that was forming. Damn screens. “Almost home and then I can sleep all weekend.”

Getting into Gear Station proper, and with his heart still racing more than he would have liked, Andy did his best to block out anything and everything that had to do with pokemon and battling. Considering he was in Gear Station which was home of the Battle Subway, it was harder than he would have liked. 

Still. He was nothing if not stubborn. He managed to focus on the sounds of the buskers over those of pokemon cries. He managed to keep his gaze on the ground, eyes skipping to the shoes and looking away quickly when seeing paws, claws, or tails. It was when he was passing by one of the battle cars that he resorted to burying himself in his xtrans, muttering under his breath as he flipped open the screen to the keypad and began drafting a message to Lenora. 

The woman may not have been his mother, but she sure acted like it when worrying about him. It was nicer than Andy would admit to most times. Still, a message letting her know that yes, he was on his way home and no, he had not been mugged and left for dead by Team Plasma holdouts was in order. 

Dodging the influx of people — because Gear Station, one of the biggest parts of Nimbasa City, even when it was so close to closing, was never not busy — and doing his best to avoid eye contact with any trainers or pokemon, Andy just made it onto his train before the doors were closing shut behind him.

“Cutting it close,” Andy muttered to himself, lightly rolling his neck and getting a few cracks out before collapsing onto a blessedly empty set of seats. The train car was fuller than it normally was on a Friday night heading towards Nacrene City, but all Andy cared about was that he was sitting down, his tired eyes were finally shut and resting, and the familiar overhead announcements all blurred together overhead. 

And then, of course, the pleasant greetings and reminders faded for, “And remember that the Battle Subway tracks run every day except Sunday and Wednesday! Detailed schedules for the battle cars can be found all across Gear Station or-”

Andy, deciding that when it came to pokemon and battling he did not want to think about it, dug out his headphones. He crammed them in before he even had them turned on, the sounds of the announcements already muffled.

Familiar motions had his blessed, wonderful xtrans playing his usual music set, an alarm ready to go to wake him up for when he would definitely pass out on the train like he usually did, and his emails from the Nacrene City Museum and Lenora pulled up. He was almost certain he managed to get a full two sentences in about the de-extinction program Lenora headed when unconsciousness hit. 

⁂

Andy startled awake by choking on an interrupted snore-turned-grunt as his back hit the seats of the bench he was sitting on, one earbud falling out as he blearily looked up at the ceiling of the subway. His first thought was that it was remarkably clean for being a subway car. His second thought was that the sudden stop of the train must have meant they were at one of the stops along the route — possibly his. 

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” Andy mumbled to himself, grateful his earbud headphones were the ones with a cord that rested around his neck. He did not want to have to go digging for a lost earbud- Ah, announcements. 

“-thank you for riding on the Yellow Line with us today and welcome to Gear Station. Please remember to take all belongings, items, and pokemon with you and have a safe journey to your next destination.” 

“Yellow Line,” Andy muttered, looking around the now empty car with utter bafflement. It wasn’t like the Gear Station trains to get their announcements mixed up and wrong. They must have, though, since Andy had boarded the Orange Line. “Weird.” 

Bringing up his wrist to check the time, Andy blinked at the empty screen of his xtrans, remaining black even as he prodded at the power button and tapped the screen. His xtrans was dead. Huh. 

Standing up, Andy shifted his satchel to rest more comfortably on his shoulder as he peeked out the door and looked at the outside of the train. Instead of a long, orange line that stretched out around the entire train, it was yellow. 

Another look around showed Gear Station, the normal Agents waiting to take tickets or standing at the counter no longer there. Stepping back onto the train, Andy slowly sat down and looked to the scrolling bulletin board above the doors to the next cart. It read their location, Gear Station, and the time, 9:48pm. 

“Huh. Alright.” Okay. Things were lining up and starting to click together. Andy had not boarded the Orange Line, but rather the Yellow. With how he had been avoiding the pokemon and trainers, he must’ve mixed up his trains since they sat right next to each other at the station. 

Another glance down to his xtrans, still dead, revealed why he must have not heard his alarm or any music, now that he thought about it. His xtrans had died due to a low battery. He vaguely remembered making a mental note to charge it before he left work. He hadn’t. Hence, no alarm to wake him up when he had drifted off.

Alright. That meant he was alone at Gear Station, which sat in the second busiest city in Unova, at night. It also meant his xtrans was dead and he had no way to contact anyone and, with the late night, he was most likely stuck there until morning. He had probably already missed the last train to Nacrene City. 

That meant he was stuck. He was stuck. He felt lost. He absolutely felt overwhelmed. There were no buses that went from Nimbasa to Nacrene, especially not this late at night. He didn’t have the money for any sort of cab service or hell, even a hotel room. He doubted his workplace would let him crash there for the night. He didn’t even know anyone in Nimbasa, let alone have anyone to trust to crash at their place for the night and-

He heard the cry of a pokemon from somewhere in the station, something large and loud and almost angry-The last coherent thing Andy was really aware of was his breathing speeding up, those familiar whispers seeping into his head and you really can’t do anything right, can you, dear? If you run off on your own like that, all those pokemon are going to just gobble you right up.

[densi-mber]

It’s Just A Coffee

A/N: This is set in season 2, when Kensi and Deeks were still very much in the process of figuring out how work together.

***

“Hey, Deeks, I’ve been waiting out here for two minutes,” Kensi said into her phone, not believing that Deeks had let her call go to voicemail. After getting a text to come into work early, she’d driven over to pick him up. By now, he knew better than to keep her waiting.

He hadn’t responded to her multiple texts, but she figured that he was busy entertaining one of his many, many lady friends. Kensi made a face at the thought, even though Deeks couldn’t see it.

Just when she was preparing to get out and drag him out, the front door swung open, and he emerged, shuffling down the sidewalk.

“Hey, thanks for picking me up,” he said, as he climbed into the passenger seat.

“No problem.” Kensi frowned as she took in his appearance.

He could be scruffy, usually a little disheveled, but he rarely looked this rough. Exhaustion lined his eyes, he lacked his normal agility as he forced his legs into the footwell, and his face looked washed out. On top of that, his hair was slightly matted, like he hadn’t even attempted to comb it.

Sighing, Deeks dropped his head back, eyes closing almost immediately as she started the SUV and pulled onto the street.

Kensi used the opportunity to examine him more fully. There was a dark bruise visible beneath his beard that she was 100% certain hadn’t been there when he left work yesterday. What the hell had he gotten up to last night?

“Rough night?” she guessed.

“You could say that,” Deeks muttered. He sounded two seconds away from falling asleep.

“So was it a stripper this time or a yoga bunny?” She didn’t try to hide her derision.

“Neither one.” Scrubbing his hands over his face, Deeks blinked several times, and sat up. If anything, he looked worse. Especially since he’d managed to fluff his hair into strange little tufts. “I spent all night undercover for LAPD.”

“I didn’t know you were approved for an operation,” she said, no longer amused. Deeks was supposed to be their liaison. She briefly wondered when she’d stopped thinking of Deeks as a temporary annoyance and claimed ownership. Brushing that thought away, she focused on Deeks’ answer.

“I wasn’t. This was a last-minute thing. My boss needed me to close a deal, and I happened to be available,” he explained.

“I’m pretty sure LAPD is supposed to run any work they want you for past Hetty. There’s no point in having a liaison if he’s gone all the time.”

“Your concern is touching,” Deeks drawled. He shifted his legs restlessly, failing to conceal a grimace. He held himself stiffly too.

“How dangerous was this job?” she asked more gently.

“I can’t really talk about it yet, but let’s just say there’s a lot less cocaine on the streets today than there were 12 hours ago.”

“You took down a drug ring in one night? Please tell me you had some kind of backup.”

“That kind of defeats the purpose of going undercover like I do,” Deeks said, not picking up on her outrage. He shrugged and yawned. It was telling that he didn’t boast about his superior skills. “Besides, there wasn’t really time. I had to be there half an hour after I got the call.”

He rubbed his thumbs over his closed eyes, squinting against the sun streaming through window.

“Do you need to get checked out o anything? We can stop by an urgent care,” Kensi offered when they stopped at a light. There was definitely a cut hidden by his bangs.

Deeks shook his head, sliding lower in his seat. “Nah. The takedown just went a little haywire at the end.” He gestured to his cheek. “I promise the other guys look way worse.”

Ah, there was the Deeks she knew. That reassured her a little. If Deeks could joke, he wasn’t in that bad of shape.

When she looked over a minute later, his leaned against the window, completely out. Eyeing the time, she made a snap decision, and pulled into the next parking lot.

Five minutes later found her walking back to the SUV balancing two cups of coffee, a paper bag, and a water. Deeks didn’t stir at all when she climbed back in, or as she quickly consumed an apple fritter.

Glancing over at Deeks again, she smiled despite herself. He looked kind of adorable when he was sleeping. Especially with the little curl of hair falling in his eyes. She felt oddly tempted to brush it out of the way. Before she could act on the strange impulse, Kensi nudged Deeks’ shoulder several times until her jerked away.

He inhaled deeply, eyes wild for a few seconds as he reoriented himself.

“Ugh, how long was I asleep?” he groaned.

“Just a few minutes. Here.” Kensi pushed the full coffee in his direction, and he took it hesitantly.

“You got me coffee?” Prying off the lid, he sniffed it, his brows raising. “Just the way I like it.”

“Even I wouldn’t torture a man who looks as bad as you do,” she said, uncomfortable with how appreciative sounded. He had that rare puppy dog look that she was sure got most women to do any number of things he wanted.

Deeks chuckled breathily, taking a long sip, and settling back with a sigh.

“Thanks.”

“It’s what partners do,” Kensi said, staring straight ahead. Definitely no other reason.

***

A/N: While writing this, I thought of the way Castle always brings Beckett coffee. And when he doesn’t, it’s an indication that something is wrong between them.

[readingslover]

Chapter 15

Previous chapter | Next chapter

After their evening activities, George and Amory flopped down next to each other, catching their breath.

“That… That was…” The girl stared.

“Great. Really great. Amazing.” The man said, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

“Yeah, amazing.” Amory let out a chuckle and turned to press a kiss on his lips, letting her head rest on his chest.

Before they could fall asleep in their blissful state their pagers went off. 

“911! We just worked a thirty-hour shift…” Amory whined, not wanting to get up.

“And I smell like… sex.” The boy said. They both got out of bed, hurrying to put their clothes on. Amory turned on the tv after getting a message from Cristina to check it out. “A massive train wreck occurred just outside of Seattle just minutes ago.”

~~~~~~

They both left the elevator that took them to the pit to find the rest of their friends whom they had left behind. Cristina as eager as always, Izzie looked as tired as the couple was feeling and Meredith drunkenly stumbled down the hall.

“I think I saw a pneumothorax. I hope I get a pneumothorax.” Cristina said as they put on their trauma gowns.

Just then Dr. Bailey arrived in a night dress and heels, making George let out. “Oh.”

“What are you looking at?” The resident complained.

“You look nice, Dr. Bailey.” The short girl let out.

“Thank you, Amory.” She turned to Alex. “Okay, you, go get me my shoes. Let’s move people.” She put on a gown and started walking to a door where Meredith was leaning beside.

“Hello!” Meredith turned to the woman. “I seem to be a little bit drunk. I was off duty…”

“So was I! Anybody alse half in the bottle?” The interns quickly shook their heads. “Alright then. Grey, just stay out of the way, I’ll deal with you later. The rest of you stick with me and wait for your assignment. I know you get all aquiver at the sight of blood and organs, but it’s gonna be a long night and you’re already tired. I don’t want any mistakes.” Once she finished, she opened the door to the ER, noticing the chaos that had erupted. Doctors, nurses, paramedics, and family members of those who got hurt in the crash were bustling all over the place. voices clashed together and there was not a single second filled with silence. More than two dozen people were bleeding and hurt, and more were still coming.

“I’m so not tired anymore,” Cristina commented.

“Me neither, I’m not tired.” George agreed.

“Tired? I was never tired.” Amory joked, her eyes scanning the room. People were groaning in pain and bleeding, hoping they could make it. The adrenaline in her form seeing all those wounded in the same room did make her feel less tired.

“Dr. Bailey, I’ve got a third-trimester burn victim here, I’m gonna need some help,” Addison informed and all the interns raised their hands.

“Izzie, go.” The woman told the tall blonde.

“Yes! Have a nice nap.” The model teased and Amory playfully rolled her eyes.

Tyler, from the bar, walked into the pit, still dressed in his casual clothes but when he saw Meredith he stopped walking. “Oh, hey! Joe told me to tell you that McSteamy came looking for you.” He passed on.

“You mean McDreamy.” Meredith corrected, a bit frazzled. “Joe said McDreamy came looking for me?”

“No.” Tyler shook his head, and for a second there Meredith deflated, but the rosa back up at what Tyler said next. “I’m pretty sure it was McSteamy, yeah.” He kept repeating himself as he walked away.

Just then, Derek entered the ER. “Does that mean he picked her?” George asked, confused.

“I don’t know…”

“If it does I’ve just lost 50 bucks,” Cristina complained.

“Cristina Yang!” Amory hit her friend’s arm. “What have I told you? We do not bet on our friend’s love lives.”

A paramedic rushed into the ER, human leg in hand. “I’ve got the leg!”

“I want that leg…” The Asian woman longed.

“Dr. Bailey, who do you got?” The Chief asked as he accompanied the man without the leg and, again, all the interns raised their hands.

“Cristina, go?”

As Derek walked by Meredith, he nodded to her. “Was that a nod?” George asked.

“Yes.” Both Meredith and Amory answered in unison.

“Do we know what it means?” He asked again, his hand on the small of Amory’s back.

“No.”

~~~~~~

As Amory got a page from Dr. Bailey, she entered the room. “Dr. Bailey, you paged?” Seeing two people impaled on a pole, she backtracked. “Oh.”

“Is this the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?3 The female patient asked her and Meredith, who was also in the room.

“Um… Yeah.” The short intern answered.

“Me too.” The patient answered, fear in her eyes.

George entered the room and the hurt girl called out for Burke who was standing alongside Bailey outside the room. “Excuse me?”

“Hi, I’m Dr. Burke.” The attending greeted when he walked in. “You shouldn’t move your head. You want to try and move as little as possible.” He advised.

“Oh, okay.” She slowly said. “So, are you gonna pull this pole out of us any time soon?”

“It’s a touch uncomfortable.” Tom, the other patient, admitted.

“I’m sorry, we can’t until we get a better look at what’s going on internally. But, I assure you we will work as quickly as possible.” Burke informed and Amory’s eyes roamed through the patients.

“Well, in that case, does anybody have a breath mint?” Bonnie asked, which made Burk smile while Tom furrowed his eyebrows in question at the woman in front of him. “For me, nit for you.” They both smiled. Burke already moved to exit the room again, but not before whispering something to Bailey.

“Uh, O’Malley, Madden, get them to X-ray.” The two interns shared a look of shock that quickly turned into one of excitement. Amory immediately gestured to Alex to untie her gown as Meredith untied George’s. “Move them extremely carefully.”

Amory nodded quickly and George seemed to panic slightly as he whispered. “They never would have picked me before the elevator…” Both Amory and Alex overheard this but only Alex responded to it by sending him a glare but neither George nor Amory commented and went ahead.

As they wheeled the patients through the hallways, Amory spoke up. “Is there anyone you’d like me to call?”

“They called my wife in the ambulance.” The man explained.

“And my fiancé.” The girl added. “They’re flying down from Vancouver together.”

“Normally Amanda would be a tad upset to find me pressed up against another woman, but in this case, I think I’ll get a pass.” The man joked, making both interns release a chuckle.

“You two aren’t traveling together?” George questioned once the chuckles died down.

“No… We just met.” The girl revealed.

“A but of an awkward introduction.”

“You have nice pores,” Bonnie said, making the man laugh.

Once they arrived at radiology, the interns noticed there was a long waiting live, so Amory walked ahead and cleared her throat. She got the intern’s attention, who looked at the patient and then allowed them to go ahead. Amory kept doing this until they were at the front of the line.

~~~~~~

In the X-ray observation room, Bailey, Amory, and George were standing next to each other, eyeing the many details on the scans. Burke was seated on a chair, looking at the scans on a computer screen while Meredith was standing off to the side with a banana bag IV connected to her arm, trying to sober up quickly. Amory wasn’t exactly sure why she was there, but she figured that Bailey wanted to keep her close in case she started wandering off in her drunk state.

“Is… is it going straight through her spine?” George questioned.

“It is. T8 is completely crushed.” Bailey answered, pointing at it with her finger.

Then, Derek entered the room and his eyes fell immediately on Meredith. The dirty blonde straightened and visibly tensed when she saw him. “What happened?” He asked, seeing the IV.

“Tequila.” She simply answered.

“I’m keeping an eye on her.” Bailey clarified before sending a look to the intern.

He moved to look at the scans and a surprised look took over his face. “Look at this… These people are still alive?”

“Still making small talk,” George answered.

“The pole is tamponading the wound as far as we can see,” Bailey informed the man as Amory leaned on the table to have a better look at the scans.

“It’s hitting the aorta.” Derek evaluated.

“Look at him,” Burke spoke up, looking at tom’s scans. “It’s right in line with his inferior vena cava.”

“but there’s a way to operate without separating them, isn’t there?” Amory hopefully asked although she should know better. She looked at everyone in the room hoping their expressions shared her hopeful one, but she realized there wasn’t a way.

Burke shook his head, while Dere actually said. “No.” Both of them shared the now mourning look that took over the girl’s eyes. George saw this and tried to comfort her by putting a hand on he shoulder and squeezing a little, letting her know he was feeling the same as her but also that he was there to talk if she needed to.

“If we remove the pole then…” George trailed off.

“They’ll both bleed out.” Bailey finished his thought.

“What if we don’t move the pole? What if we move on of the patients off the pole to get the saw in there? Then we can hold the pole steady on the other one. Move it very slowly and repair the damage as we go.” Burke suggested.

“Which one would you move?” Amory asked while Derek quickly glanced at Meredith who stared back at him.

“With her aortic injuries, her chances of survival are extremely slim, no matter what we do. But, if we move her, we have a real shot of saving him.”

“Well, I could argue since her injuries are so extensive we should move him. Give her the best shot we can.” Derek objected.

“So basically, whoever you move doesn’t stand a chance.” Everyone turned to glance at the dirty blonde, unsettled. “So how do you choose? How do you decide who gets to live?”

~~~~~~

“We have to make this call soon if we want to have a shot at saving either one of them,” Burke warned Shepherd as they walked through the hallway, interns, and resident behind them.

“I’d like to examine them before I weight in.”

“I’ll wait for your page.”

“Thank you.” The neurosurgeon turned to the interns. “Dr. Grey…”

“Dr.Grey needs to get herself a blood alcohol test before practicing any medicine tonight.” Bailey intervened, turning to the girl with the banana bag.

“What? No, I’m totally fine.” The girl started connecting her pointer fingers to her nose, making her blonde friend giggle. “See?”

“Right, okay. Dr. Madden, then.” The attending turned to the girl, which flashed him a smile back before they made their way to Bonnie and Tom’s room.

~~~~~~

Examining the two patients, Derek touched the girl’s foot. “Can you feel that, Miss. Krasnoff?”

“You’re a cute daughter.” She said, her voice sweet as ever, now seemingly a bit loopy. “Cute doctors can call me by mu name. That also includes you, Dr. Madden.” The girl smiled.

“Okay, Bonnie, can you feel that?”

“Can I feel what? Oh… I guess that’s a no.”

George entered the room, calling out for his attending for the day. “Dr. Shepherd? I’ve got the labs.”

“Great, thank you.” He thanked the boy.

“Can you wiggle your toed, Mr. Maynard?” He did it successfully, to which the female intern gave him a small smile.

“Are they moving?”

“tes, they are.”

The man laughed lightly. “Good. That’s good, right?”

“Yes, it is.” The neurosurgeon confirmed.

“What about me? Are mine moving?” The sweet girl asked hope filling her voice. George, Amory, and Derek looked down at her foot, but nothing was moving. Derek hesitated a little before answering with a white lie not wanting the patient to break down or lose her hope. “Yes, they are.”

“Yay, me!” The girl giggled in relief unknown to the looks that the doctors gave each other.

“Dr. Shepherd, is it?” Tom asked and at Derek’s nod, she went on. “Dr. Shepherd, Bonnie, and I… Are we gonna live through this?”

“Oh, that’s just morose, Tom.” Bonnie playfully scolded.

“I’m sorry, dear.” He looked back at Derek. “Doctor?”

“We’re gonna do everything we can, Mr. Maynard.”

~~~~~~

“Where are we?” Burke asked, entering the room with Derek, Bailey, George, and Amory.

“You were right. Vitals were erratic, pulse was weak, spine severed… I was hoping that it didn’t hit, but from that angle, it can’t have missed the aorta.” The neurosurgeon informed.

“What about him? Think he can live?” The resident questioned, looking over Amory’s shoulder.

“He’s got better ods.”

“Okay, let OR 1 know we’re coming.” The resident ordered George.

“And, O’Malley, close the gallery. We don’t need n audience for this one.” The cardio surgeon instructed.

The boy turned to leave but finally turned around. “She’s cracking jokes. How do you tell someone she’s gonna be dead in a few minutes when she’s sitting up cracking jokes?” He left, sighing.

“I hat this…” The small girl said shaking her head. “I hat that we have to choose who live or dies. It feels… wrong, counterintuitive.” She sighed, looking down to the floor.

“I know. But, sometimes, it’s the job.” Her resident put a hand on her shoulder in comfort.

~~~~~~

“This is hard because your body is in a certain amount of shock. It’s preventing you from feeling any pain, from feeling the extent of your injuries.” The neurosurgeon explained this to the patients.

“Dr. Shepherd? We have a metal pole cutting a path through out insides. I don’t know about Tom here, but I don’t expect to walk out of here anytime soon, so whatever it is you have to say, please, say it.” Bonnie pleaded.

“Okay, Bonnie. In order to operate on Mr. Maynard, we have to separate you two. In order to do that, we have to move you backward off the pole.”

“Can’t you just pull the pole out of both of us?3 Tom asked.

“No, if we do that, you’ll both start bleeding quickly. Making it much harder to work on either of you.”  Amory stepped up.

“Right now, the pole is plugging the wounds. Once removed, the organs will shift. And there is a great deal of damage.” Burke added.

“So, if you move me, I’ll die?” Bonnie tried to hold in her tears.

“Bonnie, we’ll do everything we can to…” The intern started talking but Tom interrupted her, and Bonnie’s tears fell. Amory moved closer to the table and held the girl’s hand tight.

“No. no! If anyone has to go it should be me. You just move…”

“Mr. MAynard.” Burke started. “Mr. Maynard, your injuries are less extensive. If we pull the pole from you, as we operate around it, we have a better chance at repairing the damage.”

“It’s not right…” The man whispered. “It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not. But it is our, your, best shot.” Amory tried to explain, trying to not get too emotional.

“Tom, it’s not fair either way. “ The blonde reassured him. “Is, um… Is my Danny, is he here yet?”

“There are delays at the airport.” George informed her.” The storm…”

“We could wait,” Bailey suggested. “But the longer we do, the bigger right of infection for…”

“No, no,” Bonnie reassured, grabbing Amory’s hand tighter. “This is better.” She managed to smile through her tears. “Danny, he wouldn’t understand. I’ve had a couple of hours to even… process all of this, but if he… if he had to see me, talk to me like this… I just think it’d be too hard.”

~~~~~~

In the ER, Bonnie spoke to Tom, Amory still holding her hand. “Can I ask ou a question?3 The man made an affirmative noise and she continued. “Do you believe in heaven?”

“I do. Don’t you?”

“I want to.”

“Bonnie… I just want to say…”

“She shushed him. “I know, I know.”

“This is Dr. Addams, out anaesthesiologist,” Derek told them. “When you’re ready, he’s gonna put you to sleep.”

“So it’s not gonna hurt?” The girl asked, tears still in her eyes.

“No, it’s not gonna hurt. It will feel like you’re sleeping.” Amory told her, squeezing the girl’s head. Tears forming in her own eyes.

“That’s good…” The girl said softly. “Amory?”

“Yeah.” The girl whispered, trying her best not to cry in front of the girl.

“You’ll be there when they talk to my Daniel, right?” She asked, her voice softer than ever.

“yes, I will. What would you like me to tell him?”

As the patient whispered her message into Amory’s ear, she allowed herself to spill the first tear of the day, quickly wiping it away.

~~~~~~

After separating both patients and verifying Tom as stable, the team moved to work on Bonnie.

“Grey, Madden, get in here and retract.” The short girl moved to do her job.

“Retractor. Quickly, please. Give me some sponges. Lap sponges.” Derek said as the attendings worked.

“Her aorta is shredded. She’s gonna bleed out.” Burke realized, shaking his head, knowing there was a slim to no chance that she was going to live.

“Doctor, he’s losing pressure.” The anaesthesiologist monitoring Tom warned them.

“He’s bleeding, let’s go,” Derek ordered and everyone started moving from one patient to the other. It pained Amory to have to leave the girl bleeding out on the table, but she knew there was nothing they could do.

“What about her? We can’t just abandon her.” Meredith yelled as her smaller friend changed gloves.” We can’t just abandon her!” The dirty blonde refused to move.

“I’m going in. Scalpel.” Burje started on Tom as Amory moved to help the team.

“Let’s go Dr. Grey.” Bailey urged her.

“Meredith,” George called out.

“What about her?! We cannot abandon her! We have an obligation.” She seemed to panic slightly.

“I have her.” Amory moved to comfort her friend. “Mer, come on, there’s nothing we can do. There’s too much damage, okay? I know it’s awful but she’s gone, Tom’s still got a shot.” She tried to hold her tears.

“Time of death 3:49.” Dr. Bailey called out, referring to the girl.

“Come on, Tom needs us.” She nudged her friend with her elbow and both quickly moved to help out with the surgery.

~~~~~~

Several hours later, the surgery was over. Derek had offered to inform Bonnie’s fiance about her death, but Amory made a promise to the patient, which she fully intended on keeping.

“Did she suffer?” The fiance, Danniel, asked trying and failing to stifle his tears.

“No.” Amory answered instantly.” Her injuries prevented her from… no, she wasn’t in any pain.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Daniel, Bonnie… she asked me to tell you that…” Amory started, having to clear her throat as she held back her tears. “She asked me to tell you that if love were enough…” She felt tears well up in her eyes. “That if love were enough, she’d still be here with you. Um, excuse me.” The girl excused herself and strayed a bit from the group.

As her resident and attending finished talking to the man, they entered the elevator. The silence was almost unbearable, as Amory closed her eyes and took deep breaths, attempting to calm herself. Suddenly, she felt the elevator stop and opened her eyes to see Bailey had stopped it, as Derek went to the back of the elevator and let his tears fall. Seeing the man in such a state was the last straw, and she let a few tears fall, before decomposing herself and wiping them away. Her resident placed a hand on her shoulder in comfort, as the neurosurgeon joined the group again.

“You okay?” Bailey asked both of them.

“Yeah.” They answered in unison and the levator started moving again.

~~~~~~

As she entered the locker room, she sat by her friends, right next to George, letting her head rest on his shoulder.

They sat in silence for a second, before the youngest girl spoke up, her voice cracking slightly. “I suggested it. I came up with the idea to save one of them… Is, is this my fault?”

“Of course not, Amy,” Meredith told her, reaching out to grab her hand. “There was nothing we could do.”

George pulled her closed into him and she nuzzled against the crook of his neck, as he kissed the top of her head.

Dr. Bailey enters the locker room to find a row of exhausted interns. “Better get cleanedup. Rounds in… five minutes.”

They all got up, leaning on each other for strength. Amory’s day had been awful, but at least she knew she had her friends with her.