#i got this idea at 6:30 am on a bus ride i had to make it real or an angel wouldve died

[alpacacare-archive]

HOW did it take me so long to realize im probably autistic

[inbabylontheywept]

So. So. I have a horrific backlog in my inbox, and past attempts at answering it have generated more asks. Generally at a higher rate than I could answer the asks. Exceeding escape velocity. And I've been mulling over how to solve this, and my idea was to create a super-bus answer post. It'll be a little lengthy, so, you know. Click read more at your own risk. Roll them dice.

Well, you clicked it. God speed and god bless.

--- @meowserita says

I feel obligated to tell you i stayed up till four am reading a bunch of you stories, because they're incredible. Also feel like saying that the only other times ive stayed up this late in recent memory is when i was binge reading one piece so take that as you will. We'll see how much i regret this but odds are i wont like i didnt regret staying up reading one piece

Hahaha! Ha! Oof. I am extremely flattered and awed and impressed but also, my stories are going to be there tomorrow, and the next day, and maybe forever depending on how this whole "civilization" thing pans out. So. Sleep more. But also thank you for being a mega fan.

I had like, a week long binge of Naruto in middleschool that was awful. I didn't even like the show that much. People recommend anime to me now, and I feel like a former alcoholic turning down drinks at a party. No thank you, there's a 99% that will simply help be relax after work one day and a 1% chance that will ruin my life and I'll catch myself unironically saying "believe it!" years later, and I just can't take that chance. I have too many people depending on me.

---

Anonymous says

i see you are also from Utah. do you have a favorite swig menu item

No. I've never actually been into a Swig. There were a few soda shops back in AZ, but I never really got them either - I'm still not sure how a gummy shark in a blue soda is supposed to make it taste better.

My poison is generally gas station stuff. Slurpees are amazing, and I also like their little pickled sausage snack things. Probably literal poison, but they call to me.

---

Anonymous says

four more messages in my head. four more tests of sanity.

hm. troubling. hope you pass.

---

Anonymous says

yooo “fireflies infinity mirror room” mention!!! i lived in Tempe for a few years…one time i was making my way down the escalator from the PHX skytrain and there was a group of like 20-30 Mormons (?) at the base of the escalator waiting there to welcome out-of-state Mormons to some sort of Mormon convention in…well, Mesa, presumably? google is now telling me it may have been for the Easter pageant.

That does sound likely. My grandpa was actually in charge of the easter pageant for a few years down there - I actually broke my arm on the little pony Mary rides to Bethlehem. I was trying to keep my little brother and sister on it by using my arms as a seatbelt, but when they fell off anyway, I just had to kids land on my arm from 6 foot drop and got blessed me with a third elbow. I had some crazy ideas on how to become a professional baseball player with it, but my dad insisted we go to the hospital to do drugs, and when I woke up they fixed the damn thing. Could've gone pro.

---

@synapticwanderer says

hello! just wanted to say I'm a big fan, your stories make me laugh and sometimes cry and sometimes both, sometimes at once. when my partner asks me what I'm laughing so hard at I read them to them, and sometimes I just go read them to them anyway. thank you for sharing your delightful way with words with us, and I hope you don't mind that I've got notifications on for your posts (you and I think three other writers at the moment) anyway, have a great day!

I don't mind! I hope I haven't ruined that privilege, actually, I shitpost more than most people think. I like mixing happy and sad as well as silly and earnest. But. Yes. A lot of shitposts.

Anyway, thank you for the comment! Happy trails.

---

@funnynamedottxt says

I kept hearing about your wrestling post, and then I saw the word “bisexual” when you were talking about it, so, needless to say, I sought it out immediately.

And, while this isn’t technically part of the actual post, in that reblog where you were talking to that one dude about sexism and societal issues and shit, you made some pussy joke about Lake Michigan and that may just be the best thing I’ve read all week.

Sorry about the run on sentence btw, I know it probably deeply hurts the writer in you, but I find it funny and am too lazy to self-censor sooooo

I'm glad you had a good time reading it. I don't know which gender I'd imagine the great lakes as to be honest. I just know that their thing with Michigan is beautiful and would be very distracting should I ever become an astronaut. I don't want to make fun of people for wanting a better world, and I would actually say I did a botch job on my response. Didn't realize it until several hundred people got mad at me. I know I write well, and the catch .22 of that is that people assume that my ability to read the room is probably higher than it is.

Anyway. I don't fault them for getting mad. Not my finest hour.

And I'm not a snob about run on sentences by the way. English teachers want to make rules about how you write and rules to follow, but that's because they need to grade by rubrics for it to be fair. It turns an art form into something mechanical though. Just make it natural and the rest comes after.

---

@00x7 says

Hi. I hope you're doing well.

I had read your wrestling story. I had not laughed so hard in a great many years. I thank you for this, though I am also sympathetic to your misfortunes.

There was enough going on that I was naturally curious if you were or are Mormon, a curiosity born from being someone who grew up as such myself (something that being queer doesn't really bump up nicely against, though you hardly would need to hear such a thing from me), and which visiting your blog quickly answered for me.

Of course, scrolling down for two seconds immediately had me realize that you were also the kid with the grandpa and the worms. I had read the worm story before, but visiting somewhere and realizing it was you was a nearly transcendent experience. My third eye was rather forcibly opened. What a storied life you have had.

Anyway, as an amateur writer, I'm very happy to have found your blog. We don't know eachother, but your words resonate with me.

Whenever you read this, I hope you have a good one. Thank you.

Oh! That's my favorite thing - when people like two different stories with very different tones. It's kind of a would you love me if I wasn't beautiful sort of question - would you like my writing if it wasn't purely silly? And it makes me happy when the answer is yes.

I actually wandered through your blog to try and find your writing, but I didn't have much luck. I'd love to see some, if you're willing. Send me a link if you keep it on another platform. I couldn't do a critique if I wanted to - all my writing knowledge is just gut level stuff that I don't know how to share - but it's just a fun way to know people. And sometimes, I see a style and I go ah, I can pick a few shiny bits off this and wear them around.

---

@turtletotem says Your bio says to tell you if we write, so, new follower here, and i write! Lots of fanfic (links in bio) and also original fiction under Shelly Greene and Elizabeth Belyeu (both on Amazon). Feel free to check it out, but I won’t take it personal if you don’t, lol.

I checked your pages on AO3 for this, and alas - No snippets for me first. You write books and novels, which is something I've always aspired towards, and never really suceeded at. I had this view when I started writing short stories that I'd eventually writer longer stories and serials and in fact I just got better at writing short stories. Which isn't much of a tragedy, actually, but it's a road I haven't really moved forward on yet. Writer to writer.

As a reader, I already have several books I've promised to read people. If you have any shorter works (less than 5k words?) lob them my way though! c

---

Anonymous says

Just read your post about Atlas Shrugged (my condolences, comrade) and I must, simply MUST ask if you've ever heard of The Cobra Commander Dialogues? It asks the very important question "what if Cobra Commander was there and found this all at best inane and stupid, and at worst it offended his villainous sensibilities?" As someone who hasn't read the book OR watched the cartoon I found it very entertaining!

I just took a peeksies at those - they're beautiful. Dialogue is a great weakness of mine, and it is hard not to be a little envious of this writer. Thanks for sharing this with me.

For the curious

---

Anonymous says

Your story about the breakup and the olives and the Slim Jim's and your dad made me cry -- not like, tear up, but an actual good cry for a couple minutes. I don't totally know why I reacted like that but I definitely felt better in some way afterwards. So, thanks. I think I'm gonna remember that story for the rest of my life.

The story stuck with me both because everyone involved was good. My ex's dad, the neighbor, my dad - everyone was doing their best. And it was true, wasn't it? Brains are good at remembering bad things. It's a breakup. And it hurt like hell. But the pain of that memory carries with it this feeling well, even when things suck, people don't. I also liked this view of my dad parenting so consciously. It wasn't a background thing to him. He thought a lot about what he was doing, and what he was saying, and how he was treating me. I owe him big for that.

---

Anonymous says

What did you do with the left shoes after your date?

So, I think teenagers like being able to convey fuck you, I do what I want through their clothes. There are punk scenes for that, and goth, and other things. My way of doing that was just dressing aggressively badly. Mismatched plaids and sports jackets meant for people half my height and twice my width, purchased from goodwill, and basketball shorts mixed with knee high socks and on and on. That was part of my teenage rebellion.

Anyway, I added the shoes in and just wore mismatching shoes to make the outfit worse, both because it was a fashion crime, and because it was a litltle inside joke with my friends who knew the story. I wound up losing them over the years because I would use the left sets as makeshift projectiles.

---

@galapagos-spinch says

I just wanted to compliment you on your story about wrestling a girl in middle school, you're a fantastic writer

Thanks. I have some regrets about that story, but it was fun to write, and it from a craft standpoint, i am proud of it. I appreciate the comment. :)

---

Anonymous says

equality is when young boys aren't allowed physical boundaries i guess

Eesh. We're getting to wrestling asks. Look, when we all signed up for wrestling, we signed up to wrestle girls. It's part of the sport. If your boundary is to not wrestle girls, the way you maintain it is by not signing up for wrestling. The point of my response, which I did not convey clearly enough, was to ask for forgiveness for failure. A middle school boy falling short of the right thing is different from a middle school boy seeking to do the wrong thing, and as a bar, it's...

It's the kind of thing I'd hope people would go, Well, they're shits, but I can't hate them over it. Don't defend us as having done the right thing - we did not. Just, have some grace for the weakness of teens. They're still growing, and if you put too much pressure on them, they'll crumble. And we crumbled.

---

Anonymous says

Hey there! Sorry, not actually a question, just wanted to say I've seen posts of yours reblogged before on occasion and I finally started following you because you're a gifted storyteller and your stories are hilarious, poignant, or both!

Oh! A relief. This is so nice. Thank you. Hopefully you read this. Maybe I should turn anonymous asks off or something going forward if I set myself on doing more of these super-bus replies.

---

Anonymous says

i am crying with laughter at your stories. the way you tell them is perfect, please never stop

I'll try. I had a several month period of no writing after burning out on HFY. Wasn't sure how to make a genre change. I'll probably have more periods of quiet like that, but to be honest, my writing is probably my favorite thing that I do. I like engineering, and I'm pretty good at it, but I love this, and I am very good at it, and in periods where I don't write it feels almost painful.

---

@auronlu says

just sending you some gentle love from an older queer person.

My parents moved to Utah after I went to grad school. I am eternally grateful that my dad turned down that promotion the first time, when I was about to enter high school, because I didn't want to lose my friends and move to Utah and go to school there in the 80s.

So I escaped, but I've seen a little bit of what you had to go through and I've heard from some of my mom's friends that she's made there how hard it is when you don't conform. I'm glad you were able to escape and that you have your own life now.

I bet that girl remembers you and that when these topics come up, she's not as willing to throw people like us under the bus without question.

you did the best you could in a very difficult situation, and by being you, you helped some of the next generation realize the lines they're told about queer people may not be true.

There may have been a closeted or questioning kid in that class, reassured by your example or simple refusal to show prejudice. you don't know what positive impact you had on those kids, but you went in with the best intentions you could and I have a feeling you did more good than you know.

take care and have a good life

( note: my main blog is actuslly @sepdet )

This is actually one of the earliest asks that I didn't want to answer because I didn't want to lose it. For anyone else looking, they're talking about a story I told about teaching primary as a Mormon.

I hope she does. I don't think anyone in the ward ever actually knew I was bi - I kept that very close to my chest. Even after I left. The kids certainly didn't. But they knew that I loved them very much, and they apparently felt strongly that I was a good person. I think the lesson I gave them was that a person can leave the church and still be good. I hope that serves them well.

---

@karmaajr says

UR A FUNNY GUY 🫵

aw yissssss

---

@abisexualfrog says

Hello, I just wanted to say that I really like your stories and the way you write, your style

Sometimes I’m in a bad mood and then I go read a few of your stories -I especially like the ones at your work- and it cheers me up because of how funny it is. (The fridge story? So good)(oh and the water balloon and and and… endless)

Im not super good at compliment because well English isn’t my first language and all that but I figured I could still tell you, can’t hurt.

So yeah I really really enjoy your writing!! It’s so good!

And not just the stories of things that happened to you, the other ones too, they are also very good

This is another one of the ones I kept because I didn't want to lose it.

Thank you for reading my stories. Your english is fantastic. And it is rare to get comments on my old fictional sci-fi pieces - those were kind of my baby's-first-steps. If you read those you are in deep, and I am incredibly touched.

I'd hug you if I could.

---

@rockinhand says

the red bun on those burgers was actually dyed via Beets. i tried it when it was around and it was unremarkable

I know what this is referring to. Surprisingly. But I will leave it be and just enjoy have this remain esoteric bordering on arcane.

---

@newkittypoom says

i saw your reblog on that falin fanart and i was like "wait. this is the 28 eggs snake guy?" and i came from the post about your wrasslin days and i saw you answer an ask about being ex-mormon and well. im definitely following the blog for your writing. thanks for sharing these stories!

thanks for commenting! It's flattering to get recognized online. Means my writing voice is distinct. Got a little niche and I'm thrivin' in it.

---

Anonymous says

I'm sure someone must have pointed this out by now, but you weren't dating just because she thought you were dating. If that wasn't the kind of relationship you thought you were in, you weren't dating. She was just being presumptuous. You didn't "accidentally date" someone. You can't. Dating is a mutual, consensual thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Phrasing and all.

--

@nbspacegay says

(1)

Hi I read your dating stories they are hilarious. I am spiritually holding hands with you because I too am terrible at dating. I accidentally pterodactyl screamed at my boyfriend when he told me he loved me once. I did also love him. I just panicked, screamed and then quite literally sprinted away. I also did not have the excuse of being in high school because I was in university.

(2)

if you so choose you can publish that last ask, i sent it becuase i thought you and your followers might find it funny

(3)

also sorry for sending you three messages like a lunatic, but also feel free to ignore it

I haven't been ignoring this, it just got buried and then I panicked and it has been crushing me like an ancient marsh, squeezing out all my peaty-bits until all that was left was an ultra-flamable bed of hydrocarbons.

Pterodactyl screaming at your boyfriend is a power move. You should do it more often. I am going to answer more questions that way. I had a customer with a masters in geology ask me why I could not provide their specified sample rate, sample times, and sample counts, and I had to explain to them that you can actually only pick two of those numbers, and the third just happens, and that the numbers they gave me did not work that way. It's like saying "I need to drive 50 miles, and I want to drive at 15 mph for two hours." I'm like, yo, go faster, or drive longer, but you have given me a multiplication problem that does not work. And they kept arguing with me, despite the actuall oscilloscope screen telling them, hey, bozo, that math does not math, and I kept trying to reason with them, when in fact I should have just pterodactyl screamed.

---

Anonymous says

When I saw your blog title my first thought was that it's a reference to psalm 137 (it's on my mind since it was just tisha b'av) and was wondering why a nonjew would do that, but then I realized you're a fan of Babylon so it's probably a reference to that. And then I googled it and apparently its also a song. So which one/which combination are you referencing?

Also your blind date story was a fascinating read, it made me laugh. Very impressed by your chutzpah

Oh nvm, saw that you answered the above in another ask, feel free to ignore

No, I totally get it. Mormonism robbed and scrambled the iconography of a lot of religions, but the two it yoinked the most from are the Masons and the Jews. Like, it is my culture now, but I will acknowledge that my culture is what would happen if you asked a 14 year old conman from NY to skin your culture and wear it. I can't imagine how weird it must be to hear us talk.

Glad to have you approval on the blind date story though. That was a nightmare.

---

@conkreetmonkey says

Personally I think you should do the egg thing again just for the hell of it. I honestly would because you made it sound fun, but eggs be expensive around these parts

My budget is a liiiiittle bit tight for the next month because my wife is doing occupational therapy, but there's a grocery store nearby that sells quail eggs, and to celebrate her finishing that, I am going to be a dozen and shotgun those bad boys. Hell yeah.

---

Anonymous says

bulking must be so easy if you can effortlessly consume 15 raw eggs

No, for two reasons.

The first is that it was not effortless. It was effortful. I had to sweat to get them down. I had to fight them into me. I have a very vivid memory of finishing the eggs, and then leaning over to tie my shoe, and feel the eggs start to actually tip out of me, not even as like, puking, but like emptying water out of a boot. I actually had to sit for a half hour after that for the eggs to actually stay.

The second reason is that eating is easy for me, but gaining muscle mass is not. If I work out like crazy and lift weights, I get very wirey, but I never actually get big. I tried bulking one time, and my muscles stayed the same size while the 20 pounds I gained just went right to my belly and I looked like a grape on a toothpick. Very wild experience. Made my peace with being a skinny nerd.

---

Anonymous says

just letting you know that you can sterilise raw eggs by keeping them at 130°F for a few hours, you can do this with a sous vide and eat them with no salmonella concerns

I love tumblr so much but all the people that read a story about some idiot eating 15 raw eggs on an impulse and then went ah, yes, this man clearly owns a sous vide machine and is willing to use it are crazier than I am. Get some realistic expecations of the world. Know your audience. You are setting your bar too high, and will find yourself endlessly disappointed. Stop it. This is why left leaning people are so fucking sad. They read the egg story and think they can solve my life with a sous vide, instead of reading the egg story and realizing that there is nothing in this world that could possibly save my from myself. I am not a stupid person. I am a highly motivated clever person who enjoys doing stupid things. There's no stopping that.

---

@brambledboneyards says

Hey OP I just wanted to let you know I was informed when I was younger that farm fresh eggs will not give you salmonella. I would recommend fact checking this, but if it does remain true I hope you can date the cravings once more

This is actually good advice. I know several people who own chickens down here. Bless you.

---

@queerdo-mcjewface

Some stores sell pasteurized eggs for recipes that require raw or undercooked eggs

Alas, they only sell egg whites down here, which are flavorless. I want the whole egg experience. The slime, the yolk, the cracking open - I appreciate the advice, but no, it's just not visceral enough.

---

@decentmonster says

you'd probably love quail shooters tbh, you can get them at most sushi restaurants and theyre served raw and are really good (also safe to eat)

Also farm-fresh eggs are less likely to have salmonella!!

Two months time, I will eat a dozen raw quail eggs.

---

Anonymous says

I want you to know the egg story is literally one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life. I laughed so hard I woke up my husband

I think that was the first little life-short-story thing I posted. Maybe? I'm glad you had fun reading it.

[laurenetuttle]

Japan Day 5 (September 10, 2024)

Well, today was quite the adventure! Liz reported that she had the best night sleep of the trip. I personally am glad to be done with the firm beds of that first hotel. We both woke up before our alarm clocks sometime around 6 AM. We slowly got ready for the day and packed up all of our stuff. And we enjoyed one last breakfast at the hotel buffet. The hotel that we stayed at was very nice and I would highly recommend to anyone traveling to Tokyo. It was in a quiet neighborhood and right across the street from a subway station. And the hotel itself seemed very new with lots of modern architecture and spacious rooms. we enjoyed having the provided slippers and the heated toilet seat.

After breakfast, we checked out and grabbed all of our belongings and headed to the train station. We both packed all of our belongings in a backpack and tote bag so that we wouldn’t have to deal with roller bags cross all of the flights of stairs with public transit in Tokyo. I had done some souvenir shopping so I also now have a third bag so it’s a little rough all the walking around with all of our stuff. But it’s ok. #worthit. We took the subway over to the main Tokyo station. We had an idea of where the bus terminal was, but didn’t exactly know. We followed signs to the bus terminal. Unfortunately, when we got there, we realize that we were in the wrong spot. Apparently there are multiple bus terminals at Tokyo station. we asked a security officer for help and he helped direct us to the correct location. We were thankful that we built in extra time to our schedule just in case something like this happened. We gave her an extra 30 minutes to make sure that we found the right spot. so after making it to the wrong terminal, we finally made it to the terminal and thankfully it wasn’t too far away. And we pretty easily found the correct platform. The bus showed up maybe about 10 minutes prior to departure. And we had assigned seats and was very comfortable with a bathroom on board. Then headed out for the 2 1/2 hour bus ride to Fujiyoshida. Was a very pleasant bus ride through the countryside of Japan. We went through rolling hills of lots of trees and greenery. I listen to a podcast on the bus and Liz listen to some music specifically Taylor Swift.

Upon arriving in Fujiyoshida, we realize that there were multiple bus stops in the region. The hotel had told us to get to Fujisan station and they would send a free shuttle to come pick us up to bring us back to the hotel. Unfortunately, apparently there are more than one station with this same name. And I had booked the bus ticket to the other station with the same name. When we went through the correct station, it was actually named Mount Fuji station so we didn’t get off the bus there. Shortly after we’ve passed that stop, but we realize that that was actually the correct stop and we were heading past where we wanted to be. So we discussed, which do we want to get off at and the likelihood of us being able to find a taxi to take us to the hotel. of the bus stops we’re kind of in the middle of nowhere. We ended up getting off the bus at the stop where I had booked for us to get off the bus. Amazingly, they dropped us off on the side of the lake so it was beautiful. There was also a 7-Eleven there where we were able to go the bathroom and pick up some lunch. I tried my first egg sandwich, which are very popular in Japan. I also tried my first onigiri, which was tuna and mayonnaise flavored which was pretty good. Liz had cup of noodles. And we both enjoyed some apples. Even though we were lost in this region outside of Mount Fuji, we happen to be dropped off right next to a taxi station. So after we quickly ate lunch, we walked over to the taxi station. We were able to easily get a taxi to take us to the hotel. Thankfully, we weren’t lost for very long and didn’t have to struggle for very long. It can’t be memorable trip without some mishaps. We are very thankful that we ended up getting off the bus where we could get food, the bathroom, and easily find a taxi.

We subsequently made it to the hotel maybe around 1:15 pm. Our rooms weren’t available to check in until 2:30 pm. So we decided to explore the complex. There are massive gardens on the backside of the hotel. It’s all very Zen. Lots of Koi fish and water features and plants. We then went to the tea house for a tea ceremony. They gave us a sweet gelatinous snack and Matcha to drink. And we drink this while overlooking the river and hearing the rushing water. We then took another walk around the garden and explored further. We cross the bridge over the river. This whole area is so beautiful. we explored the inside of the hotel a little bit more. We walked around some of the ballrooms. I think that they host a lot of weddings here. Also the souvenir shop and walked down some of the hallways. We were able to check in and someone took us to our room and pointed out all of the important Spots. We’re staying at almost the top floor of this resort. We have a very spacious room. There are free drinks in the refrigerator, pajamas, sandals, for walking around the resort, and tiny towels. We then decided to put our bathing suits on and had to the pools outside. We put our feet in the foot onsen outside, which is basically a hot bath just for your feet. We then decided to go over to the pool and hang out in the pool for a little bit. Thankfully the pool was a little bit cooler. Everything that we’ve done so far is just been very hot. Thankfully, the area around here is a little bit cooler and Tokyo. Also, during most of the day today we did not see any other guests at the hotel. We were the only ones in the garden and the only ones in the pool. It’s all very zen. We then headed back up to the room and we have a hot tub/onset on the porch. So we both got in and had a relaxing afternoon overlooking the sunset and the fields. The porch also looks out towards Mount Fuji. Unfortunately, clouds obscure the view of Mount Fuji all day today. Tomorrow, we’re gonna try and wake up early to see if we can catch a glimpse of the mountain before the clouds roll in.

After our relaxing afternoon, we rent off and went and picked up free yucatas to wear around the resort. We then headed down to dinner. Dinner was a multicourse traditional Japanese meal. We sat in our own room for this multicourse meal. The meal was very heavy on fish both cooked and uncooked. There was also some soup and tofu and rice. One dish was Wagyu beef with mashed potatoes. I am proud of both Liz and I for having tried a lot of new foods today. Though I don’t think either of us left dinner feeling very full. The last dish was dessert which was a sweet potato thing and grapes in gelatin. Japan seems to be obsessed with grapes and gelatin. We have had a lot of both on this trip. overall I’m really glad for the experience for the dinner. Though I wouldn’t say it’s been my favorite meal here.

After dinner, we watched a Japanese drum show put on by the hotel. It was cool to see a cultural show here. After the drum show, they put on bingo for the guests. It’s hilarious to say that we came to Japan and played bingo. Unfortunately, neither Liz nor I won bingo. However, we still had a great time. After bingo, we went into the wine lounge. There they had snacks and wine all for free! So we had some cheese and rice, crackers, and chocolate, ice cream and free wine. It was the perfect end to a fabulous day. We are now getting ready for bed. We hope to wake up really early tomorrow morning to see if we can catch the sunrise with Mount Fuji. Fingers crossed there are no clouds tomorrow morning. And then we leave here to make for Kyoto!

[australiablog]

6/7

Today was a very, very early morning. I’m going on a hot air balloon ride during sunrise! So pick up time was 5:46, so my alarm was at 5am. I needed to check out of this hotel so I had already packed my suitcase and only had to pack my pajamas and toiletries. The drive to where the balloon was taking off was only 25 min, so we were not that far out of town. The balloon was already on its side and just about to rise, so we only had to wait a bit before we could climb into the basket. Since I’m solo I was first and then the big group behind me split up into 4 groups. The basket could hold 20 people, but we weren’t with that many so it was only 4 to a compartment. It was divided into 5 parts, the middle part for the pilot and then 2 parts on either side of that. It was only 5 degrees when I got up, so I am nearly wearing all the clothes I brought. I was very glad I did because Lordy it was cold. When everyone was in the basket they went around and took pictures for us. When we got up, it was honestly amazing. I’ve done it once when I was a kid with mum and dad but I honestly don’t remember that much. This was so magical. I had my phone in a death grip the entire time, I had a phone cord with me but it wasn’t allowed, I even had to take off my scarf. Very weird but I’m not making the rules, just following them. It was a bit cold in the beginning, we started when the sun was just coming up and you could see a faint glow over the horizon. It was truly beautiful. This was such a once in a lifetime experience. It wasn’t cheap but I’m really embracing the yolo this vacation, probably a bit too much. But in the end it’s only money and memories are forever. The balloon ride was about an hour and I was really sad when we went down, I could have happily stayed in the air for a few hours more. When the sun came up, it was a lot warmer, which I wasn’t expecting. We didn’t really go above 450m/1500ft which was a shame I would have loved to be that high. I took a gazillion photos, probably 20 of the same thing but my opinion is better too much as not enough. When we came down the pilot made the basket wobble on purpose and nearly tipped us over. It was hilarious! They came around asking if we wanted another photo so once again I handed over my phone for one. We had to go out one by one and then hold on to the basket so we didn’t go up again. When the balloon was on its side on the ground again we could go inside of the balloon. It was so cool, the balloon kinda feels like the nylon we use in our shop, I mean of course I touched it, how could I not. Took a couple of videos inside as well, I mean I sure as hell don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance again. When the balloon was about ⅔ deflated all of us had to help get the air out. So basically we had to go from the bottom of the balloon and start folding it in, while one of the crew tidied it after us. This was quite the workout! After we made a gigantic balloon snake we had to form a conga line and take it under our arm and carry it to the trailer and start loading it in there. I really didn’t think it was gonna fit, but when the crew started jumping on it to my big surprise, there was even space left. After all that hard work there were muffins, cheese+crackers, cookies and fruit on a table. On the first ever balloon flight they had brought champagne with them, so now it’s tradition to drink it when you come down. Got to say champagne at 8:30 in the morning was a new one, even for me. On the bus ride back to the hotel one of the women next to me was saying that a visit to the desert park would be a fun idea for me to do since today nothing is open *again*! So after I got my luggage and dropped it off at the other hotel that’s exactly what I did. It was 7 km outside of Alice Springs so not too far a drive in the taxi. The park was basically a self sustaining ecological zoo, which I had never heard about. On special times during the day there were animal talks. I was just in time to hear the emu talk, and watch the bird show afterwards.

[umichenginabroad]

Burn it. Did I say stand there and look stupid? No. I said BURN IT.

* for everyone that doesn’t know what the title is, its a tiktok haha

Las Fallas. Ridiculous. Actually had no idea what to expect and was not prepared at all. I'll try to set the scene:

For some context, Las Fallas is a festival in Valencia on the last Sunday in February to commemorate Saint Joseph. It is a week-long event to celebrate each neighborhood's year-long work of making a construction called a 'falla,' which consists of several 'ninots' (a Valencian word for puppets). On the last Sunday of February, 'La Crema' occurs, where each of these fallas are burned. A year's worth of work burned!! I learned about the event in my Spanish culture class and was hyped up by a bunch of Spaniards who apparently all love to go to Valencia during this time. 

I also booked this trip two days before on a whim. It was organized with this event planning group that partners with the school and was 40 euros for the bus ride there and back. 

Storytime: 

We leave the buses at 9 am and get off at 1:30 pm. The drivers announce that La Mascleta is happening at 2. We don't know what that is. But it's a 20 min walk. And so we should run. By the way, I've just woken up, so I'm very disoriented already. We are speedwalking to this plaza when we finally run into the crowd. The clock hits 2. We are around the corner from the plaza and can't fully see it. Then the loudest 'boom' sounds start going off, and smoke starts filling the air. 

Anyways, we found out this celebration called 'La Mascleta' happens every day during Las Fallas at 2 pm, where they set off fireworks and smoke at the town hall plaza. Look up pictures- it's ridiculous.

After La Mascleta, we get breakfast and start walking around the city, looking at the beautiful fallas every few blocks. The detail in these sculptures is just incredible, and many of them are satirical in nature as well. 

We head next to the parade. We are lined up on the street, waiting around the corner of the start. A small drum line emerges, and we are a bit underwhelmed, thinking, 'this is it?'. Then we hear what sounds like an ambulance. People start running around the corner in devil costumes with fireworks strapped to their heads, moving in a circular motion and spraying into the crowd. Honestly, I have no idea how this was legal or safe, but it was crazy. 

I would describe the burnings of a couple of other fallas, but the one you need to hear about is the 'Big Falla':

Finally, the Big Falla. We are in the plaza across from the falla, and the clock hits 11. For a second time paused, and it didn't seem like the celebration was starting. Then an incredible fireworks display started, and we knew the time was coming. After one of the best fireworks shows I've seen in a while, everything goes dark. Then the fireworks spark around the Big Falla, and the crowd goes CRAZY. The Big Falla lights up with fire. It was kind of scary how suddenly the fire began and how ridiculously big it was. I could literally feel the heat standing so far away, so I couldn't imagine how hot it must have been for the people in the front. 

After the fire ended and the firefighters doused it, people started singing the anthem and celebrating. We pushed our way out of the crowd and headed back to our buses after a quick pit stop at Mcdonald's. 

Of course, 450 kids after 12 hours of celebrating was not going to be organized, and we barely made it on our bus after everyone mobbed them. We left around 2 am and got back at 6:30 after a long ride of someone snoring behind me and the AC blasting at full strength. 

I've never experienced as much chaos in a short amount of time. It feels like a fever dream, and I still need to sleep some off, but wow. What an experience. 

See you next week with Rania 2.0 (aka Priya, my sister, haha) and me in Granada and Sevilla!

Rania Uppal

Computer Science

UP Comillas - Madrid Spain

[justgillespie]

Missing (2/?)

Summary: Your next door neighbor, Luke Patterson (a.k.a. your longtime crush) has gone missing, and you think you could help finding him.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: none!

Author’s Note: Hey, it’s me again! So I’m back. I noticed that I didn’t mention before that the reader is a dancer! So I hope that didn’t bother anyone. And I’m sorry there’s not much in this part, but I’ll try to upload the third part as soon as possible xo

Part 3

•

You came up with a few rules, if you were willing to do this. Rule #1: You would not think of Luke as the boy you have a crush on until you know for sure that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Rule #2: You were taking Max with you wherever you needed to and whatever you needed to do. Rule #3: You would do as much as you could to find Luke. Rule #4: Find Luke.

The information Tamra gave you was enough for you to wait impatiently for school to be over the next day. The bookclub’s meetings were on Thursdays at 6:00 p.m.

Today was Thursday.

You talked to Hannah at lunch, asking her about the bookclub. She told you about the book they were reading and the social environment, but she didn’t mention the band. You didn’t make any specific questions either, since you didn’t really want to tell her what you were actually doing. Hannah also offered you to take you the library. But you politely declined. You were just taking the bus with Max. For which he complained, later on when school was over and you both were heading to the library on the bus.

“She OFFERED to take us there, in a CAR, and you said no?!”

You rolled your eyes.

You were all dressed in your dance uniform, wearing a comfortable sundress on top of it and some shoes that you randomly picked. And you had your dance bag, seated at your feet. Your dance class was at 6:30, but you weren’t worried about the time. You calculated that if the band had to set up their equipment, then they would definitely be there earlier then the rest of the bookclub members.

“First of all, she offered ME a ride. Not us. She didn’t know I had company.” You said, checking up the watch on your wrist. 5:25 p.m. You looked back at him. “And second of all, if you weren’t too afraid of driving, then maybe, we could’ve given that car of yours some use.”

Max told you that the car parked in his garage was his, and was given to him on his seventeenth birthday, months before you moved to the neighborhood. Since Max was afraid of driving, his mom was the one using the nice car.

“Uh, yeah? Why don’t you try driving then?” He said, cheeks flushed.

“I did. Several times.”

You just weren’t perfect at it yet. Not that you were desperate to drive. Your sister would always drive you wherever you needed to, so what was the rush? You didn’t need a car yet. You just couldn’t ask her to take you to the library today because she had to recover a piano lesson she missed a few days ago.

“Then why-?”

“Oh my gosh, Max, let it go. Tamra’s picking us up once we’re finished. Geez.” You said, frustrated. This guy could complain and argue for hours if he wanted to.

“Sorry.” He said rolling his eyes. “So what are we doing?”

You snapped your head at him. “Didn’t I tell you anything yet?”

“I know it has to do something with Luke, because of what you asked me last night. And that we’re going to the library... Now that I say it out loud, we’re going to that bookclub they play at, right?”

You definitely forgot to explain. Your so focused on getting started with your plan that the only words that came out of your mouth that afternoon when you called him were: “Come with me to the library.” He didn’t asked much in that moment either, so it was on both of you.

“That’s right. How could you just jump in with me without even knowing what I was dragging you to?”

“Because I was waiting for your call. You said you were gonna tell me what you were up to, so I just linked everything to that. You still didn’t explain yourself, by the way.”

So you explained to him. That you were on sort of an adventure/investigation about Luke’s location and that he was your Watson.

“I am Watson?! I gave you most of the information you know now.”

“It was just an expression, Max.”

Soon after, you were both standing in front of the big public library. Once again, you checked the time.

5:37.

“Come on. They’re probably there already...”

“Wait a second.” Max grabbed your arm, stopping you in the middle of the steps. “Luke ran away from home, right?”

“Yes, that’s what Mrs. Patterson said...”

“Well, don’t you think that a performance in a bookclub full of people would be too... I don’t know, noisy? I mean, if he ran away, it means he doesn’t want to be discovered. I don’t think hey will perform today if that’s the case.”

You stared at him for a second before you hit him in the arm.

“Hey! What was th-?!”

“You couldn’t have said that before coming all the way here for nothing?!”

“I just thought of that! And you could’ve thought about it too! Don’t blame it all on me!”

You frowned and walked down the stairs.

“Where are you going?!” Max asked.

“Home. Dance. I don’t know.”

“Don’t be dramatic. We’re already here. We can still do some research. They probably have their information here. I don’t think they would even let them perform if not. And besides, we don’t even know if I’m right about before.”

You turned back to him, this time, embarrassed. You were being a little dramatic.

And maybe a little too optimistic.

No, you stopped yourself before any negative thought clouded your mind, no one’s ever too optimistic.

And you couldn’t back up from the investigation in the first day. That was basically breaking rule #5.

You walked back to Max and without saying anything, you walked into the library together.

As much as you wanted Max to be wrong, he actually was right: the guys didn’t show up. And maybe it was also because of what Max said, but it was not the reason the people at the library told you. You asked about them and most of the workers frowned immediately at what you said, either confused or mad.

“Those guys aren’t allowed to play here. They just showed up a couple of times, but trust me, they won’t come back.” The librarian told you.

Therefore, Max’s backup idea didn’t work either.

Ten minutes later, you and Max sat on the steps outside the library, not knowing what to do next.

Your watch ticked 5:50. Tamra said she would be there at six.

You said hi to Hannah when she got there. She asked if you were going in.

“Not really.” You sighed, and decided to tell her the truth. “I came to do some research on that band... It’s named Sunset Curve. Tamra told me they played here the day she came with you.”

“Oh, yeah! I almost forgot that happened.” She chuckled. “I didn’t come to the meeting prior to that, so I wasn’t aware that a band would be playing in our bookclub. That’s why I forgot to tell you about them, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Did you get to talk to them?”

“A little bit. They stayed for the whole meeting and then ate almost all the snacks on the table. We just talked about music for a bit. Well, Tamra did. I was just standing next to her having no idea of what were they talking about... But if I see them today I can try to get more information, if you want.” Hannah offered when she noticed the disappointment in your face.

“They’re not coming today. Or ever, again. I already asked. But thanks, Hannah, I really appreciate it.”

She smiled at you sweetly and squeezed your shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll get something soon. See you guys around.”

You checked your watch for the hundredth time now. 6:04.

“When you said that Luke’s band plays at a bookclub.” You said to Max some minutes after Hannah left. “I thought you meant they play here OFTEN. You didn’t mention they played here TWICE before and weren’t even allowed to do so!”

“I didn’t know that either! I just supposed...”

“You supposed?!”

“Well, yes! I heard the other day at school... some of the Math Club members attend this bookclub and they said that Luke’s band performed there so I just guessed they might just play here often!”

“I can’t believe you sometimes.” You felt mad. But tried to calm down. You would get nothing by reproaching him.

You decided to stay quite. Otherwise, you might yell at him.

“So what are we doing now?” Max spoke after a while.

“I don’t know.” You said honestly.

Another silence.

And then, you had the most simple idea, which, you thought, you should’ve come up with way earlier.

“Can’t you ask a friend if they know more about Luke’s bandmates?”

Max blushed, and you thought that was suspicious. “Don’t think so. My friends are... busy.”

You frowned. “All the time?”

You said, more than asked.

“Y-yeah...”

“Every single one of them?”

“Yes, Y/N.” He rolled his eyes, but his nervousness was still visible.

“Max.”

He looked at you sideways and then sighed. “Fine, I... don’t have many friends at school. I don’t make much of an effort to make more, either.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I’m just not the social type.”

“But you have friends?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I have friends. Well... one friend. His name is Ian. We’ve been classmates since first grade. And we moved together to the same high school.”

“What about the guys from the neighborhood?”

“Well yeah, them too, I guess. We’re just not too close.”

“Like Luke.”

Max scoffed. “Yeah, with the only difference that Luke could be close with everyone if he wanted to. I am not close with anyone because, again, I’m not exactly sociable.”

“But you could be.” You insisted.

“I guess. It’s not that easy, you know...?” He then gave you a look and shook his head. “You don’t know. You are sociable. Like Luke.”

You weren’t sure of what to say, so you just stayed quiet.

“Speaking of which, why are you so invested on finding him, anyway?”

It was your turn to blush, but you were saved by Tamra, who stopped the car in front of you.

“Let’s go.” You said, and he followed you.

So today’s mission didn’t go exactly as planned, but you had lots of clues. It was impossible not to find anything. This day had to end on a good note.

Tamra left you at your dance studio before going back home with Max. You told him you would call him later.

During your dance class, you managed to distract yourself for a bit. But you came back to trying to come up with something as soon as you got out of class.

“I’ll use your landline! Call me when dinner’s ready!” You said once Tamra parked in the driveway.

You said hi to your parents and ran to your room to pick your notebook and then go to your sisters’ room.

So you did come up with something.

You decided to call every kid from the block that knew Luke, and try to get more information. Your last alternative was to go to the Patterson’s house and talk to Emily herself, although you were kind of nervous at that idea and you weren’t too hopeful about it since Max mentioned she didn’t know much about Luke’s band.

“All she knows is he has a band and that she doesn’t like the idea.” He’d said that afternoon.

You took the phone and dialed the first number: Amy Campbell.

You decided to go straight to the point with everyone, just to not lose any time and call Max as fast as possible to update him.

“Hello?” You heard Amy on the other line.

“Hey Ames! It’s Y/N-.”

“Y/N! You’re coming to my pool party, right?”

You blinked. A pool party?

Something clicked in your head. Amy’s pool party, of course. It was this weekend. You forgot to ask permission to your parents.

“Of course I’m going.” You said, even though you weren’t actually sure. Amy cheered.

“Awesome! Almost everyone already confirmed they’re coming, except for... Luke.” She said, and you rapidly took the opportunity to ask her about what you originally called for.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you about him, um, don’t you happen to know anything about his band?”

“Oh my gosh, are you helping to find him? That sounds so much fun!”

You faked a chuckle. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Well, I don’t know much, but... I saw them perform in front of this club once, when I was going out for dinner with my family. We stopped to watch them along with some other people. Before they were kicked out. Oh, I also know his parents don’t love the idea of him on a band.”

“Do you remember the name of the club?”

“Oh, not really... but I can tell you it was close to that restaurant... Delish Japan? Yeah, I think that’s how it’s called.”

You wrote that down.

You thanked her and hung up. So your first call went well.

Although the rest of the calls were pretty similar. Most of the kids said they saw the band playing either in front or in the back of different clubs. One of them mentioned they saw them play at another bookclub.

“Any news?” Max said once he answered your call.

“Kind of.” You checked the names of the clubs written in your notebook. “Almost every kid said they saw the band playing in some club or bookclub. It seems that they do that, without asking.”

“You mean playing in places people might see them?”

“Yes. They know it’s not easy to book a gig at any place. Especially since they don’t have a manager and they’re just teenagers...” You sighed. “This information is pretty much useless, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t want to say it but... yes.” You groaned while Max kept talking. “I mean I guess we could go check those clubs but one, we’re minors and two, they just set their stuff, play and then they get kicked out. I don’t think any of those places have their personal information.”

“My other idea was to go and talk to Mrs. Patterson but... I don’t know if it’ll be useful. I don’t know what else could I do anyway.”

“Me neither.”

You already thought of something else, actually.

You sighed again, this time more dramatically.

“If someone around here at least went to the same school Luke does... That way we could ask some people about him and his band...”

“Come on.” You could practically hear Max rolling his eyes. “I don’t wanna do that.”

“Max, this could go faster if only you took the courage to talk to people. I’m not asking you to go out with them. Just ask them about Sunset Curve...”

“Y/N. I told you before. It’s not that easy for me-.”

“Y/N! I’ve been calling you for half an hour now! Come down for dinner!”

You heard your mom yelling from downstairs and you froze. You said you were going the first time you heard her but you didn’t realize it’s been half an hour since then.

“I’m coming!” You yelled back, and then said goodbye to Max.

You frowned while jogging down the stairs. You told Tamra to tell you when dinner was ready. Now your mom would be mad at you.

After your mom reproaching that she called you “a million times”, you defending yourself that you asked your sister to call you and her saying she never actually agreed to doing so, your dad stopped you. Silence flooded the room for a few minutes.

“Tamra told us you went to the library to do some research on Luke.” Your dad talked. “Did you find anything?”

“Not really.” You said, finally letting the disappointment get into you. “Any of our plans worked.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m sure you’ll get something soon.” Your dad squeezed your hand and you smiled at him.

“Let us know if you need any help.” Your mom added.

You slowly nodded.

When you finished your food, you decided to stay and just listen to your parents’ conversation.

“Are you done?” Tamra asked then, and you frowned.

“Why?”

“Just- Yes or no?”

“Yes, I’m done.”

“Good. Come with me.”

You and Tamra thanked for the food and she guided you to her room. You sat on her bed while she started looking through the mess.

“What are you doing?” You asked, and she didn’t respond.

“Here” You heard her say before stretching down to take a purse from the floor.

She then went through it and took a piece of paper out of it, which she gave to you and you looked at it closely. A phone number was written on it.

“It’s one of the band members’ phone number. Not sure who, but he was flirting with me the day I went to the bookclub with Hannah.”

Your face beamed.

“You’re not gonna need it?”

“Pff, no. I have a boyfriend, remember? And he was not my type anyway”.

Actually, you forgot she had a boyfriend. They started dating just a few months ago but Tamra hasn’t taken him to the house yet.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?!” You said.

“I forgot I had it.” She shrugged.

You were too excited to get mad at her. You hugged her and asked to use her landline again. She agreed and left you there.

As fast as you could, you took the phone and dialed the number.

[kittyknowsthings]

A Nice and Accurate Timeline of the Apocalypse (and its Aftermath)

As shown on the Good Omens TV show

Happy birthday to me, a gift for myself and the entire Good Omens fandom.

MONDAY

Hastur and Ligur check on the Hellhound

Warlock and his mother argue about his birthday party while Aziraphale and Crowley watch.

Crowley suggests Aziraphale could kill Warlock. Aziraphale suggests they go to the birthday party instead.

WEDNESDAY

Warlock's (and Adam's) 11th birthday

3 pm - Hastur and Ligur let out the Hellhound

Sufficient time later for a thorough cake fight:

Aziraphale and Crowley have to admit they've got the wrong boy since the Hellhound, who should be there by now, is not showing up.

(The Hellhound had to get to Tadfield instead of London, it's a bit of a trip, I suppose, since it must be some time later when:) The Hellhound arrives in Hogback Wood between 3pm and 5:00pm, assuming Agnes Nutter and Deirdre Young define teatime the same, but with definitely enough time for

Crowley (back in his usual outfit) and Aziraphale (who had time to get changed and wash the cake off) to have decided to have a drink over their failure at Aziraphale's bookshop (where they have returned, presumably by car, though to be fair, the Ambassador's residence to Soho, which is about 3 miles, at Crowley's typical speed is a matter of a couple of minutes, really) when Crowley announces the Hellhound has been named

Newton is fired, meets Shadwell, is told to show up at his place at 11 o'clock the day after

Anathema is implied to arrive in the UK either Wednesday or Thursday, but a bit difficult to nail down - did they show it chronologically, in which case Anathema arrived before Newton meets Shadwell, or did they alternate the scenes to juxtapose Anathema and Newton more clearly, but Anathema's outfit, make-up and hairstyle are still the same when we see her move into the cottage on Thursday

THURSDAY

Gabriel and Sandalphon show up on Aziraphale's shop to corner him

(The scriptbook implies Crowley stayed at the shop through the night and is only now sneaking out, nearly caught by the Archangels, but it wasn't shown, so follow your bliss.)

Hastur and Ligur check in with Crowley and say their "operatives in the State Department" have arranged for the boy to be flown to the Middle East

The Postman delivers the Sword

Anathema moves into Jasmine Cottage in Tadfield and gets to work

Crowley threatens his plants

Aziraphale is on the phone with someone who wants to buy the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter

Newton comes to Shadwell's and is initiated so we can assume it is now 11 o'clock

Aziraphale calls Crowley with the idea to check the convent, they take the Bentley together 

(If we're assuming 90 mph is Crowley's standard speed, and Tadfield is in about the middle of Oxfordshire, we can assume it took them about 40 minutes. So, either they left later, or Crowley actually bothered to slow down on occassion.)

Anathema meets the Them while scrying for the Antichrist

Aziraphale and Crowley meet Mary Hodges, interrogate her, and ignore the police blockade to leave the former convent at sunset

Shortly after, Anathema is scrying by yet a third method (poor girl)

Anathema's bike and Crowley's Bentley collide, they give her a ride

by the time they arrive at Jasmine cottage, it is fully dark

Anathema has a video chat with her mom

Aziraphale and crowley discuss the possibility of asking a human for help with locating the antichrist over cake

Adam is starting to be reached out to when asleep by infernal forces

Back in front of the bookshop, Aziraphale finds the book and blows off Crowley to read it

FRIDAY Crowley calls Aziraphale to check in

If we are assuming Aziraphale's office clock is correct, it is about 6:45 am when he calls the Young's home phone, the Young parents are having breakfast, and Adam is training Dog

Aziraphale attempts to script an explanation to Gabriel

Anathema invites Adam in

Crowley meets with Shadwell

Aziraphale meets with the Archangels and realizes they have no intention of averting the war, Michael states "The other side are currently transporting [Warlock] to the plains of Megiddo"

Aziraphale claims, to the Archangels, not to be sure about the Antichrist's location even though we saw his notes on the matter include his address

Aziraphale calls in Shadwell, who ignores Newton's quite accurate recognition of the oddness of Oxfordshire's weather

The scales are delivered to Famine

At about 7pm, Crowley calls Aziraphale and suggests the meeting at the Bandstand in "15 minutes"

(When they are actually meeting, it's sunset, but given filming schedules and stuff, I will leave it to you if you decide Aziraphale is really late or the sunset is just early)

During the night, Adam starts actively affecting reality

SATURDAY

Aziraphale intercepts Gabriel jogging at Battersea Park

Michael presents pictures and gets Gabriel's tacit permission to check in downstairs about Aziraphale and Crowley and calls Ligur

Crowley goes over possible escape locations 

Lesley delivers the crown to Pollution (the sun is still rising) and the message that it's time to Death

Newton gets sworn in by Shadwell and sent off to Tadfield, he has the accident Ligur talks to Hastur who is supposed to be leaving for Megiddo about his suspicions of Crowley, they decide to find proof

Hastur gets to Megiddo

Anathema is well-prepared for Newton's arrival

5 hours and 48 minutes to the end of the World

Newton wakes up

The Them separate for lunch, agreeing to meet up again after

Warlock is at Megiddo Hastur confronts Crowley, who was having  a pity party at a cinema

Anathema catches Newt up, it's about 13:15, and "about 4 hours and 15 minutes" to the apocalypse

Crowley tries again to convince Aziraphale to come with him, fails 

Sets up the holy water booby trap

Crowley melts Ligur

Aziraphale appears to have taken a short walk to clear his head, as he is on his way back to the bookshop when he is accosted by the Archangels and the horn is sounded

Adam is starting to really scare his friends

13:30

Anathema and Newton are about to leave, but are stopped by a storm

They start making out under the bed

When the pin in the map starts sizzling, Shadwell realizes he may have sent Newton into danger, and Tracey convinces him to go after him, but Shadwell refuses her money and instead resolves to ask Aziraphale for an Advance

Newton has scruples and asks if he shouldn't buy anathema dinner first, but she quickly dissuades him

Aziraphale contacts Heaven in a last-ditch attempt to ask Her for help, the Metatron quashes his last hopes of Heaven's assistance

Shadwell goes to Aziraphale's shop, sees the late end of the Metatron bit through the letter flap,

Aziraphale calls Crowley but Crowley hangs up on him to deal with Hastur.

Shadwell picks the lock

and Aziraphale, trying to keep Shadwell safe, accidentally steps into the circle, discorporating himself.

Shadwell slams the door on his hasty way out, shaking the ground hard enough to kick over one of the candles in the communication circle setting the shop on fire.

Parallel to this, Crowley finished dealing with Hastur and makes his way to Aziraphale

14:30

Crowley, on his way to Aziraphale's shop, tries to call Aziraphale,

the store is already very on fire

Crowley goes in and tries to find Aziraphale, rescues the book

Adam announces his "new" friends - the horsemen - will be together soon and are on their way

Shadwell arrives back home and is put to bed by Madam Tracey

Aziraphale argues with the Quartermaster and decides to go back to Earth without a body if he has to

4 pm -

Anathema is getting dressed again

Crowley has gotten really quite drunk, having downed an entire bottle of Talisker and asking the bartender for a second by this point

Aziraphale finds him at the bar

The Seance starts

The Horsemen meet up at the café

Aziraphale crashes the Séance and quickly wraps it up so he can get Tracey up to speed

1 hour and 43 minutes to the apocalypse

Crowley is stuck in the traffic jam due to the M25

Shadwell wakes up, Madame Tracey and Aziraphale make him tea

The M25 lights up with Crowley still inside

Lisa from the call center accidentally frees Hastur, who thanks her by eating her and her colleagues

Aziraphale recruits Shadwell, who packs the Thunder Gun

Hastur appears in the car, prompting him to brave the fire out of sheer spite

Adam chases away Dog and the Them, whose rejection makes him snap back to himself. They resolve to stop what Adam started, and to "meet back in 5 minutes"

Anathema and Newt figure out they have to go to the airbase

Aziraphale makes the scooter fly

The Horsemen arrive through the official entrance, pretending to be a surprise inspection

Anathema and Newt sneak in through a hole in the fence a fallen tree has made

Adam and the Them meet up again

31 minutes to the end of the world

RP Tyler delays the Them 

The Horsemen take over the base, starting ... everything, basically

17 minutes to the Apocalypse

after asking RP Tyler for directions, Crowley hurries

The Scooter reaches the airbase

Aziraphale argues with the airbase

Crowley arrives making his heroic entrance

(of course Adam and his friends do the real work)

The Bentley explodes

Aziraphale sends off the guard off while Crowley is having a moment

Crowley takes care of the next load of soldiers

When the Sergeant chickens out, Aziraphale attempts to use the gun on Adam, but Tracey stops him

Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale take out War, Pollution and Famine

Newt breaks the system by trying to fix it 

Adam confronts Death

Anathema and Newt walk on

Crowley returns the book

Aziraphale receives the prophecy

Gabriel and Beelzebub arrive

Aziraphale and Crowley rules-lawyer them into cancelling the war

Satan shows up

Aziraphale threatens Crowley to never talk to him again, so Crowley stops time, giving Adam enough time to think

Adam rejects Satan, declaring that that is not his father, so Arthur Young appears

After Nightfall, Aziraphale and Crowley wait for the bus, sharing a bottle of wine

Lesley picks up the horsemen's items

Aziraphale and Crowley take each other's hand as they sit down in the bus

SUNDAY

Crowley, already in Aziraphale's body, investigates the restored bookshop

Aziraphale, in Crowley's appearance, is happy to find the Bentley restored

Anathema and Newton wake up together

Crowley and Aziraphale meet at the park and are abducted for each other's trials.

Madame Tracey and Sergeant Shadwell agree to retire together

Agnes has the next book delivered

Anathema decides to burn it

The Them check in on Adam, who is sure he'll be grounded for "years and years", but his parents will have forgotten by tomorrow - his powers to affect reality do not seem entirely gone.

Summer is ending.

Crowley and Aziraphale are sitting on a park bank, they swap back and agree to go to Lunch

They dine at the Ritz to romantic music and toast To the World.

[spaceskam]

Inspired by @aewriting's fic because oh my goddddd

ao3

Michael knew a lot of things. He was smart and aware and was sufficiently sure that his species better than the entirety of the human race so there was no point in giving a shit.

Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't stop grinning as he looked at the assigned rooming system for their class trip.

 Michael," Max hissed as he leaned over, his own copy of the syllabus and rooming system in his hand, "We need to request to room together instead."

"What, why?" Michael said, struggling to tear his eyes off the 4D - Michael Guerin, Alex Manes written on his paper. The idea of watching him get ready in the morning and seeing how long it took him to put on his makeup had Michael squirming for some reason.

"Because," Max said, eyes wide like he should've pieces it together, "What if something happens?"

Michael frowned. "Are you still having issues?"

"Yes!" Max insisted, "So we need to both request room changes."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say for why I want a room change?" Michael scoffed. He didn't say that he really, really didn't want a room change. Alex was easily the most interesting human being he'd ever seen. If Michael was going to have a human friend, he'd be it. This felt like a good excuse to get to know him.

Max scanned the page to see who Michael was rooming with.

"Easy, it's Alex. Say you're not comfortable rooming with someone who's, you know," Max said, shrugging to fill in the blank. Michael's eyebrows raised.

"Oh, fuck off, I'm not pretending to be a homophobe so you can get off in the shower to the idea of Liz Ortecho's shampoo without worrying someone might see a power outage," Michael told him, shaking his head, "You can go a weekend controlling yourself. And, if not, Iz can work her magic."

"You're a terrible brother."

"Love you too."

-

By the time they were loading onto the bus, Michael's excitement had bled into nerves.

Sure, he was better than humans, but humans were also notorious for thinking they were hot shit. Would Alex be a shitty roommate? It was only a couple days, but that was still hours where they'd be alone in the same room together. Would they bond? Would he piss Alex off? Would they get in a fight?

They'd both been in a lot of fights.

While everyone else packed towards the back of the bus, Alex sat up from behind the teachers. He'd already put his headphones on from what Michael sound see, ignoring every glare Mr. Rowe gave him for it as he tried to give them a big, preparatory speech. Subsequently, Michael didn't hear much of it either.

Most of the ride was like that, actually. It was a long 3 hours, but his eyes kept drifting to the only boy who sat alone with his eyes closed. He was bold and didn't give a shit which Michael was envious of. As much as he tried, he always cared a little bit, at the very least what Isobel and Max thought of him. But Alex didn't. And, to make matters more distracting, the sun seemed to hit his face in just the perfect way that it seemed he was torn out of a goddamn magazine. Another thing to be envious of.

"Will you stop staring at him?" Isobel scolded from beside him, "People are already going to be asking you if you're sleeping with him after you're alone with him every night, are you really trying to make the rumors worse?"

"Would it mean I get to punch someone in the face?" Michael asked. Max scoffed from where he was leaning over the seat behind them to join the conversation.

"If you do that, you're going to be in a lot of trouble."

"I'm already always in a lot of trouble, might as well have a good reason," Michael suggested, shrugging his shoulders. He smiled as his siblings shook their heads.

He let his eyes drift back to the godlike, Michelangelo-sculpture-esque man that was Alex Manes.

-

Mr. Rowe passed out each the key cards to everyone, giving a speech about being responsible. No parties, no drinking, no leaving past curfew, no this, no that.

Michael’s eyes followed the way Alex’s slender fingers grabbed the key card before slipping it into the back pocket of his tight jeans. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak, and he simply embodied the vibes of every dull bad boy that popped up in shitty YA books. Except he wasn’t dull. That’s what made him interesting.

Alex must’ve felt him staring though because he looked over and Michael looked away so fast he almost hurt himself.

“You’re going to piss him off if you keep staring at him,” Isobel scolded, pinching his arm. He glared at her, rubbing the skin she’d attacked. “The last thing we need is you getting in a fight.”

“I’m not going to fight Alex,” he insisted, sneaking another look over at the boy he’d be spending the entire weekend with, “I promise.”

“Well, make sure you keep your phone on you so you can text me if things get weird,” Isobel said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Everyone has their keys? Okay, then we should be set for the night. Go find your rooms, get settled, and we’ll head down for dinner at 6:30, alright? Then back to your rooms for the night. Make sure you’re taking showers, we’re going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow and the last thing I need is anyone smelling like they haven’t bathed and they’re baking under direct sun,” Mr. Rowe preached, inciting a few whispered laughs and accusations about who he was talking about. Michael knew it probably wasn’t directly at him, but he shifted uncomfortably anyway. “Again, have your alarms set. I’ll knock on doors in the morning, but we’re all meeting down here at 7 in the morning and if I have to go hunt you down, we’ll have problems. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

Eventually, they all started making their way towards their rooms. Isobel, Max, and Michael all opted for the stairs along with a few other students while the rest waited for the elevator. They made it to Michael’s room first and both Isobel and Max gave him wary looks.

“Jesus, you both seem to forget I have more control than you,” he said. They shared a look.

“Yeah, but only in one way. I just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Max said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Stop parenting me.”

“Okay, fine,” Isobel said, holding up her hands in defense and subsequently becoming more parental. Michael rolled his eyes and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he said, pushing into the room and closing it behind him.

He didn’t mean to slam it as loud as he did and he definitely didn’t mean to startle the boy who was already in the room. Alex had seemed to jump out of his skin and looked at Michael like he’d lost it. Michael gave an apologetic smile and tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time they’d ever been alone. Hell, this would be the first real conversation they’d had. 

Actually, he couldn’t remember a time Alex Manes had ever spoke outside of throwing insults at jocks or when they were forced to debate designer babies in 10th grade. Alex had been the only one who was anti that didn’t play the God card. He’d gone on a long spiel about how it wasn’t a guarantee, about how parents paid all that money to have a child exactly how they wanted, but what happened if it didn’t work that way? Nature vs. nuture, he’d said. A baby could look the part, but if it didn’t act the part, they had parents accusing them of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. That was the moment Michael knew he was more than a YA bad boy.

For a moment, he wondered if Alex thought he was the YA bad boy. They both fit different sides of the same profile. Alex was punk and hardened, Michael was thrown through the system and had a stint in juvie the summer before, and both of them had been in more fights than necessary. Oh, God, what if Alex thought he was bland?

“I felt each bed, I took the one that makes less noise,” Alex said simply, voice deeper than Michael remembered. Was it hot in here?

“Why? Don’t wanna wake me when you sneak out?” Michael asked, trying to act normal. He wasn’t well versed in making friends, but he knew staring at them like a deer in headlights was not the way to go about it.

“More like don’t wanna wake you when I stay up all night,” Alex responded, not offering a smile as he focused back on the bed. He had a duffel bag and he pulled out a long wire, kneeling on the bed and reaching over to plug it in the wall. His shirt slid up as he did so, revealing a small patch of tanned skin on his back that Michael found inexplicably interesting.

“Well, good news, I don’t really sleep either.”

“Seems like that’s why we got roomed together,” Alex said, dropping onto the bed after he plugged it into the wall and then plugged the other end into his phone, “Same answers on the questionnaire.”

“Seems like it,” Michael agreed. Alex paused for a moment, looking over at him with dark, curious eyes.

“And you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Are you gonna kill me in my sleep?”

“You just said you don’t sleep,” Alex said. Michael raised his eyebrow at the lack of an answer. It earned a small smile from Alex that made Michael’s heart skip a beat. “No, I’m not gonna kill you.”

“Then we’re all good.”

“And the rumors don’t bother you?” Alex prodded. Michael dropped his bag beside the other bed and laid down, grinning mindlessly as it groaned under his wait.

“The rumors about me don’t bother you?” Michael shot back. Alex eyed him for a moment. Michael fully expected him to elaborate on the rumors about himself to get his question across. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think Michael just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter how smart he was: you look homeless, people treat you like you’re helpless. But Alex didn’t fill in any blanks.

“As long as you don’t kill me in my sleep,” Alex said with a shrug, falling against the pillows and putting his attention onto his phone. Michael watched him for a few extra seconds before he shook his head, pulling out a book to pass the time.

He was definitely going to get a friend out of this. Who knew?

-

Michael was dead weight on the bed.

They’d had a full buffet for the students and Michael had eaten more than he’d eaten in a long time. As good as it was, he also felt like he was about to succumb to a food coma. So much for staying up all night.

He ended up waking up bright and early anyway, though. The birds started chirping before the sun rose and he rolled over in irritation. Alex was laying on the bed, curled up and asleep with his phone screen still on and shining towards the ceiling. Michael laid there for awhile, fading in and out of sleep until Alex’s alarm went off at 6.

Alex woke up with a pout and a sigh, stretching his limbs out and arching his back. Michael watched him mindlessly, watching his legs shake at the tense muscles before he slowly dragged himself up and Michael pretended to be asleep. The first step to making friends was decidedly not watching them while they slept.

Michael stayed in bed as Alex quietly grabbed his makeup bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Was it weird that Michael was a little sad he closed the door? Yes. Yes it was weird. What the fuck.

Around the time one of the teachers knocked on the door to tell them they should be awake, Alex reappeared all dolled up. His makeup was in full force, his hair done in a skillful way, and sporting black jeans and a black t-shirt. His cheeks seemed extra sparkly, though, and Michael nodded in approval.

“Nice face,” he said simply, grabbing a pair of jeans. Alex blew air from his nose in response.

“Okay.”

“Mhm.”

They both went down for breakfast and to gather to load the buses and head to the Grand Canyon. Alex, despite his friends, sat at the front of the bus by himself again. Liz and Maria sat towards the back and behind Kyle, leaving him alone. Michael felt bad.

“While you aren’t required to be on a strict buddy system with your roommate, I definitely suggest staying close by them because you will be needing to do check-ins together. We’re not trying to have anyone run off, alright? Understand?” Mr. Rowe announced.

“Yes, sir,” they all agreed and it seemed good enough for him, signalling for the bus driver to go ahead.

“So, did you cause a power outage in front of your roommate?” Michael asked Max.

“How would he have done that?” Isobel asked. Michael offered and filthy grin and moved his hand in an obscene gesture, his tongue poking in his cheek. She looked slightly horrified at the mental image and slapped his arm, instantly making him laugh. Max just sunk into the seat behind them with an embarrassed groan.

“Guess not,” Michael snorted. 

“Well, what about you and Alex Manes? How’d that go? No fights? No gay awakening?” Isobel prodded. Michael rolled his eyes, his mood tampering at just how dull the night had been.

“Sorry to disappoint. I took a shower as soon as we got back from dinner and he took one after and I was asleep by the time he got out, so nothing special,” Michael said with a shrug. He was admittedly disappointed. What was the point of putting two troublemakers in the same room if they didn’t raise a little hell? Instead, he ate too much and fell asleep like an old man.

“Okay, well, do something because it’s only been one night and I’m already over Carly’s long discussion over Kyle Vlaneti’s cheekbones. Like, I get it, he’s hot, but there are much more important things to talk about,” she scoffed. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ll do my best to do something more interesting.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that interesting thing would be, but he could definitely try.

-

That interesting thing happened when he and Alex were walking back after their routine check-in.

“This is so fucking lame,” Michael said, gesturing the canyon that failed to impress him no matter how many signs he read, “It’s a big hole in the ground.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of nice,” Alex responded. Michael raised an eyebrow at him and they both came to a stop.

“Nice?” Michael repeated, “What’s nice about it?”

“Look, come see,” Alex ushered, grabbing his arm freely and pulling him to an area that was pretty empty. They were far away from the rest of the group by the time Alex let go of him and he honestly got a little worried as Alex stepped so close to the edge that his toes were hanging off. 

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you feel small?” he asked. Michael watched as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The sun seemed to find him and he was glowing. “Like nothing matters. Years of horrible things that built this country never stopped the natural flow of things enough to take this. No matter who we are, what we do, there’s always something… else.”

Michael licked his lips. Like what, he thought, aliens?

Alex breathed in deep.

“I could do anything. I could jump or I could kill someone or I could commit every atrocity, and the world would keep turning,” Alex whispered, “And some people do that. Because it doesn’t matter so they don’t care. But if we’re all horrible, every last one, who will notice the small things? Like… this. Us. I am nothing, but doesn’t that make us everything?”

“You lost me.”

Alex laughed softly and opened his eyes, turning towards Michael. Then he gestured for him to come closer. And, like all idiots with superiority complexes, Michael obeyed and let his toes hang off the edge without a thought.

“The only kind thing left is Mother Nature.”

“Mother Nature kills,” Michael pointed out. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be cynical, think about it. There’s nothing selfish in nature, not really. You take what you need.”

“Some species would disagree.”

“Just humans,” Alex sighed, “Fuck humans.”

Michael huffed a laugh and couldn’t help but admire him and agree. For a guy who wore all black and had punched a few jocks hard enough to raise talk of expulsion, he was apparently a lot more positive and logical than everyone else. 

“Fuck humans,” Michael agreed, turning his face towards the canyon. He thought it looked a little better now. “Fuck humans!”

“Yes,” Alex laughed cupping his hands around his mouth to amiplify his voice, “Fuck humans!”

“Fuck humans!” 

“Alright, boys,” Mr. Rowe sighed from somewhere behind them. Alex jumped at the sudden new voice and, on instinct, Michael grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the edge just as he lost his footing. 

They ended up a few steps away from the edge, Michael still holding onto him while he caught his breath from the short moment of fear. But through it all, Alex was smiling at him. Not just the normal, irritated smile, but a big one that rivaled the sun that shined just for him. And that smile was targeted at Michael specifically. Wasn’t that breathtaking? 

“Alex, are you alright?” Mr. Rowe said, voice actually concerned as he jogged closer, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Um, yeah,” Alex said, slowly taking a step out of Michael’s hold and that cold demeanor started to slip back up as he remembered they weren’t alone, “I’m good. Just made me jump.”

Mr. Rowe looked between them and nodded. “Right. Just be careful, we don’t need you falling off the side no matter how angsty you feel.”

Michael laughed, “Sure thing, we’ll be careful.”

“Yeah,” Mr. Rowe said, looking between them a couple more times, “And you two are good with sharing a room together?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Michael said, looking over to Alex. His smile was fully gone now, the hardened face back in place, and he shrugged.

“Haven’t killed him yet.”

“Comforting, Mr. Manes, thank you,” Mr. Rowe sighed. He gave Michael a pat on the shoulder before turning and walking back to the group. 

“Yet?” Michael asked once their teacher was out of ear shot. A secretive little smile slipped back onto his face.

“Never say never.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting with my class trip buddy.”

Michael grinned shameless as he got settled in the bus seat beside Alex in the far front. They were heading back to the hotel and Michael, still high on the moment he’d had with Alex on the cliff’s edge, wanted to be close to him again.

“Okay,” Alex agreed, eyeing him skeptically. Michael just gave that smile that he knew was charming. It was his specialty. Alex rolled his eyes and sat back into his seat, but the tiny smile tugging at his lips didn’t go unnoticed.

“So, whatcha listening to?” Michael prodded, leaning into his personal space to see what was on his phone. Alex elbowed him away gently, but he picked up the spare earbud to hand to Michael. He accepted it. “What is this?”

“Ska punk.”

“Huh?”

“Ska,” Alex said, grinning at Michael’s lack of understanding, “Like, No Doubt? Sublime?”

“You’re just trying to confuse me today, aren’t you?” he said. Alex rolled his eyes but turned up the music.

“It’s a mix between classic alt and ska which is basically, like, reggae influence,” Alex explained, “In my superior opinion, it’s the best genre.”

“Why?” Michael wondered. Alex raised an eyebrow and turned up the music a little more as if that would explain it. 

“Because it’s a perfect mix between chill and ‘fuck the man’ music. Like, when I take over the world, I’m gonna do it with ska punk blaring all the time,” Alex explained. Michael sputtered a laugh, unable to find him uninteresting in the slightest. 

“You plan to take over the world, huh?”

“So, here’s the plan, right,” Alex said, turning in his seat. He looked around as if someone might actually overhear and leaned a bit closer. Michael followed his lead, listening with pure interest. “I’m gonna write a musical, right, and it’s gonna take the world by storm. People are gonna love me and I’ll get the unbridled support by the world of theatre when I run for president at 30.”

“Oh, we’re jumping straight to president?”

“Hell yeah, I don’t waste time,” Alex said, waving a hand and looking deadly serious the entire time, “Anyway, I’ll be technically too young, but the overwhelming support will get me my win. Then, then, I’ll spend about two years in office learning all the government secrets and then I’m gonna whistleblow all of it before I go into hiding.”

Michael nodded, on board with every word.

“Liz and Maria are gonna stay in America to lead the true revolution while I go hide from American officials in Russia for a few years,” he explained.

“How are you gonna hide in Russia?”

“I figure I’ll seduce someone in power,” Alex said like it was easy. And, honestly, Michael believed him. “Anyway, then I’ll go to the Vatican‒wash, rinse, repeat, whistleblow that bitch. Then the Pope will probably try to have me assassinated on live TV, but it’s fine because I’ll survive.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael laughed. Alex eyed him, judging him until he feigned seriousness to match Alex’s. Still, he found it ungodly amusing that the guy who had just been saying how small and meaningless everyone was also had a plan to overthrow the government.

“Yeah, I’ll come back to America and I’ll be the face of the revolution. Enter ska punk to the masses. The chill vibes will give them no choice by to agree with my political ideology and feats,” Alex said, shrugging a shoulder and raising an eyebrow, “Easy.”

“Easy,” Michael agreed, not even caring that they were incredibly close at this point.

“Save the good people, destroy the bad. Eat the rich,” Alex said simply. Michael agreed without hesitation.

Sadly, before he could enjoy anymore of Alex’s existence, the bus came to a stop and Alex took his music back.

“See, I got you on board with just a little bit of No Doubt,” Alex said, sliding past Michael without a second thought and being the first one off the bus.

Michael knew for a fact that Alex was better than everyone.

-

The day was long and Michael could still feel a layer of sweat on his skin as he sat on the floor beside the hotel bed. Alex was taking a shower and he was recounting the day’s events. Screaming into a canyon with Alex, walking through a national park with Alex a few feet in front of him, deciding to sit beside Alex on the bus ride back and sharing his music, and rolling his eyes at all the questions Isobel was sending him to ask why he sat with Alex. 

Michael: I’m making friends fuck off

Isobel: well are you abandoning me at dinner too???

Michael: no i’ll sit with you and max 

Michael: maybe alex liz and maria can sit with us too

Isobel: two trios don’t make a happy family, Michael

Michael: fuuuuuck off

Isobel: 😘

Michael dropped his phone and tilted his head back, grinning to himself as he thought about how good it felt to scream with Alex. Maybe, if anyone was on par with his species, it was him. That would make sense, right? Alex seemed to get it. 

The bathroom door opened and Alex Manes walked out in a cloud of steam and Michael’s brain stopped working. Things slowed down and Alex walked out in slow motion, shirtless with a pair of sweats low on his hips. He was pulling on a shirt as he did so and the glory of his bare chest was gone too soon, but it didn’t stop Michael from staring slack-jawed and stupid.

“What?” Alex asked, snapping him out of his haze. He was eyeing him like he was being really fucking weird. Which, he was being really fucking weird. But he couldn’t help it. Alex was... was...

“Sorry,” Michael said, scrambling out of bed so he could take his own shower. Alex nodded slowly, heading over to his side of the room. Michael couldn’t help but watch him as he put his dirty clothes in the duffel bag and then stretched. His skin was red-tinted from the hot water and Michael wanted to touch and see if he could feel the heat.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It wasn’t until he was in his own shower, this one much colder than the one Alex apparently took, and seeking the scent of the other boy’s body wash that it dawned on him what might be wrong. He froze for a solid five minutes, staring blankly at the wall as he thought about things and Alex and the fact that he was seconds away from doing exactly what he’d mocked Max for. 

Michael took a steadying breath and licked his lips. Out of morbid curiosity, he closed his eyes and took himself in his hand, picturing Alex Manes and the millisecond long glimpse of his bare chest and the way the sun hit his face and the way he smiled and the way he screamed and the way he lit up when he described his plans for world domination and the way his long fingers looked curled around his phone. He ended up biting down on his lip so hard that he drew blood, out of breath and more confused than ever.

Maybe that was a fluke or Alex was a weird exception. He was undeniably pretty and relatively feminine and clearly more interesting than the rest of the human race, so maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe it was his own unconfirmed but also not denied sexuality that had Michael’s curiosity sparked. It was normal for teenagers to get a little confused, right? He’d always assumed his species was above that, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just confused. He knew he liked women, that was undeniable and he knew he wasn’t faking it.

But the more he thought that he was just a little confused by Alex in particular, the more he realized that maybe it wasn’t normal to let his eyes linger in the locker room. Maybe it wasn’t normal to work so hard at keeping his eyes straight in juvie. Maybe it wasn’t normal to not be grossed out when he found himself focusing on the guy in porn.

Or maybe it was normal. Maybe it was okay.

He left the shower feeling ungodly drained and overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He’d expected a lot of things from this trip, but jacking off to his class trip roommate wasn’t exactly on the syllabus. The biggest discovery this weekend was supposed to be the visual of the Grand Canyon. 

He swallowed hard as he tried to remember how to act normal, but Alex looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but feel the urge to test his budding theory on his own sexuality. Would Alex welcome it if he tried? Would that fight everyone seemed to expect happen?

“Dude, what did you do to your face?” Alex scoffed, sitting up and taking a step too close. Every hair on Michael’s body stood up at his close proximity, stupid teenage hormones not knowing when enough was enough. “That’s gonna scab.”

“Sorry,” Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and then huffed a laugh.

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s your mouth,” Alex said. But his eyes lingered on Michael’s cracked and swelling bottom lip and that seemed to confirm all of Michael’s brand new theories all on it’s own.

They stared for a moment, too close and too aware. Michael could see confusion sift through Alex’s eyes like he was trying to gauge if he was reading things correctly. Perhaps his own face betrayed that he absolutely was. 

“We should probably go down for dinner,” Alex said softly, mechanically. Michael nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he said. 

Twenty-four hours in and he was already questioning his entire self.

-

“Anything interesting yet?”

Michael snorted, eyes flicking over to Alex and the way he elongated his body in his chair. He was smiling fondly at Liz and Maria as they laughed about something over dinner. It was easy to see that he loved them and Michael’s stomach twisted with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He supposed it had to do with the only people who ever gave him any semblance of love were Isobel and Max. Maybe he was jealous Alex could give it so freely to his friends who weren’t his intergalactic buddies.

“Yeah, actually,” Max said, clearing his throat. Isobel and Michael both raised intrigued eyebrows, giving him their attention as they leaned forward. “I think I’m gonna ask out Liz.”

Isobel and Michael both groaned and fell back into their chairs. Max just laughed.

“I’m serious this time! I’m gonna do it!” Max insisted.

“C’mon, man, what’s the point? We’ve got a couple months left of the school year and then the summer and then she’s going off to get a fancy degree or seven,” Michael said. Isobel shoved his shoulder, but he didn’t waver. Max shook his head.

“Nah, you don’t get it. We,” he paused, sighing happily, “We had a moment.”

“A moment?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah, like… one of those moments that are totally worth risking it all for, you know what I mean?” Max clarified.

Unwillingly, Michael’s eyes drifted over to where Alex was already looking his way. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red as Alex didn’t look away like most people did when they got caught staring. Instead, Alex raised his hand to his face and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. Michael involuntarily copied and discovered he was bleeding again. Alex gave a cool smile and mouthed ‘fuck humans’ before turning back to Liz and Maria.

Chills covered his skin as he looked back to his own dinner companions.

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I know those moments.”

-

Night two alone with Alex Manes proved much more difficult than night one.

Tonight, Michael was aware of a deep seeded desire to touch him and listen to him speak. Tonight, he struggled to keep his eyes to himself as Alex traded his jeans for sweats in the middle of the room instead of going into the bathroom like the night before. Tonight, had to sit on his hands to keep from requesting permission to do something he shouldn’t‒like seeing if he was as good at getting another guy off as he was at getting himself off. It felt like the question for the ages. And to think he’d bothered questioning his alien origins when he could’ve been questioning what Alex’s mouth could do. How foolish of him to ignore that.

More importantly, how had he ever ignored Alex? He was smart and funny and gorgeous. How had he missed the attraction before? Maybe it had to do with Alex being smart and gorgeous. He was going to get out of here and do good shit. Michael still, even with that scholarship waiting for him, taunted him and reminded him he wasn’t going to do much. 

“Are you okay? Did you get sun poisoned? You’ve been zoning out since we were on the bus,” Alex asked, “Got worse after your shower.”

Michael looked up at him from where he was seated on his bed and Alex was standing between the two. He was so fucking hot. Without thinking, Michael patted the bed beside him. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and didn’t move for a few seconds but slowly, slowly came to sit beside him.

“Jokes aside,” Michael started, mind still thinking of Max’s lack of hesitation when it came to Liz’s plans, “What do you actually want to do in the future?”

“Um,” Alex said, shifting slightly, “Getting the fuck out of Roswell is my only real goal. I hate it there.”

“Same,” Michael agreed.

“Yeah…” Alex said, “Guess that makes sense. We’re the two people with the most amount of fights in Roswell High history.”

Michael snorted, “You’re lucky. Your dad definitely used that fancy little title he’s got to keep you from being sent to juvie after you shattered Mason Glenn’s face.”

“Lucky,” Alex repeated, shaking his head, “I’m not lucky. Not with my dad.”

“Well, if it helps, I’m not lucky either,” Michael sighed, thinking about his shitty track record, “That fight I got into last year, almost deafened the guy in his left ear. Got me a couple months in juvie. Which, you know, maybe I am lucky. Most kids like me don’t get out that easy.”

“So the rumors are true then?” Alex asked. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Why are you so set on the rumors?” he wondered, turning to face him, “‘Cause it depends on which ones you’re talking about. I’m not sleeping with Iz if that’s the one you’re asking about.”

Despite his attempt at lightening the mood, Alex didn’t let him. His intense gaze wandered over Michael’s features and Michael clutched the sheets in his hand.

“The one where you live in your truck,” Alex stated bluntly.

“Okay, then is the one about you true?” Michael shot back, tilting his head, “Are you gay? Is that why you think about taking over the world? Is that why you like feeling small?”

Alex didn’t react in any type of physical way, but Michael wouldn’t have been surprised if Alex had started a fight then. Most of Alex’s fights started with someone calling him gay. Granted, it was usually yelling slurs at him to do so and not asking, but still.

“Is that why you wanna get out of Roswell?” Alex asked, ignoring his accusation, “Because here everyone turns a blind eye to a homeless teenager? Because it’s easier to say you live in a truck than to say you’re homeless?”

“Is that why you want to get out of Roswell? Because here everyone turns a blind eye to bullying? Because it’s easier to say you’re just other than to admit they’re in the wrong?”

Alex stared at him and Michael stared right back, both of them unwavering and serious. It was totally different from on the bus or on the cliff or standing close after a shower. This felt real. This felt… more. If those were moments, what was this? Because whatever it was, it was suffocating.

Then Alex was leaning forward.

Despite Michael’s prior thoughts and interest and despite how badly he wanted to, he jumped off the bed before Alex could do anything. It didn’t make that intense gaze feel any less all encompassing.

“I-I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” Michael said, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He was going to be kissed and he fled. That was definitely a first.

Then again, he’d never been faced with a boy trying to kiss him. Not just a boy, but a hot boy who seemed just as aware of the fucked up reality as he was. Which, again, made no goddamn sense. How the hell was Alex so aware and still able to smile and make jokes? For Michael, he knew there was more. He knew he was better. But Alex… Alex didn’t know that. He just thought humans were as good as it got. And he was still calling Michael out, still trying to force him to say something. He wasn’t turning a blind eye.

Michael gulped and stared at his reflection. He really would’ve liked to go back to the fun revelations.

By the time he exited the bathroom, the light was out and Alex was curled up in bed with his back towards Michael.

-

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Michael asked. Isobel was eyeing him with that knowing gaze as he sat beside her at breakfast. Alex had already been in the bathroom when Michael woke up and, when he came out, he made no mention of the night before. He’d given his good morning and then left the room. He didn’t seem angry. So why did Michael feel so guilty?

“I know that face,” she said, “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Michael sighed, “I just think I pissed Alex off.”

“Why? What’d you do?” she wondered. Michael sighed, looking to where Alex was notably not looking at him. He couldn’t tell her Alex went in to kiss him and he chickened out.

“Nothing, we just… talked, I guess, I don’t know,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders. Isobel looked at him oddly.

“You’re 17, Michael, why are you acting like an old man?” she asked. He scoffed, ready to argue, but even he couldn’t deny that it was particularly weird that they had a conversation like that. But, then again, it just brought him back to the conclusion that there was something about him. He wasn’t like the rest of the human race and he wasn’t like the limited knowledge he had of his own species. He was… other. In a good way.

His eyes drifted back to Alex for a moment. Could he be a teenager with him? Was he worthy of sloppy kisses and self-discovery with him? Could they be kids and not have every conversation be laced with the underlying truths of their reality?  

“You ever wanna take over the world and bring all the alien-destroys-New-York movies to life?” Michael asked her instead. Isobel sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Isobel said, leaning closer, “Apparently, Kyle Valenti stole a few bottles of alcohol from the kitchen. We’re gonna have a party tonight in his room after curfew since it’s the last night away from home. You should come, everyone else is.”

“Wasn’t one of the rules no parties?” Michael asked, “And no drinking?”

“Again, old man, when did you become against breaking rules?”

Michael licked his lips and looked over at Alex again. True. Since when did he have shit holding him back from doing what he wanted?

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll break rules.”

-

Just like the day before, it was hard to find anything interesting in where they were.

In theory, he could appreciate a national park and a museum, but Michael didn’t really give a shit. He would’ve been much more interested if they went to the Houston Space Station like was originally debated. But that was too expensive and going to national parks just wasn’t. 

Unlike the day before, though, everyone was buzzing when they got on the bus to go back to the hotel. Everyone was texting and whispering about this party they were planning. Michael was considering going if things went badly with Alex, but that’s it. Only if things went bad with Alex.

This was the last night they were here, this was his last real shot at getting him alone. He wanted to try. 

Besides, if Max made a move on Liz before he made a move on Alex, well, then they were all fucked.

He watched him throughout dinner, trying to think of what exactly he wanted to say. Maybe he could just tell him he thought he was hot, keep it simple. Or he could explain that, thinking about it, he’d actually liked him for a lot longer than he realized because it suddenly made a lot of sense why he’d been watching him for two years. Maybe Alex would take his confusion about his sexuality as a good enough answer and they could make out to help solidify that this wasn’t a weird boy crush. Not that he thought it was. He was confused about what this meant, but there was no confusion about the way Alex made him feel like his skin was being lit on fucking fire and like his mind was melting.

When they got back to the room, Michael quickly went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and make sure he didn’t smell. Everyone was getting ready for Valenti’s party. Time to prepare for his own.

“Hey, Alex, can we talk?” Michael asked as he stepped out of the bathroom. Alex looked up from where his phone and eyed him, nodding slightly.

Michael stepped closer, trying to find at least one of the starters to the plethora of conversations he’d had in his mind. He should say he liked him. He should say he didn’t mean to pull away. He should say that he accidentally had a second sexual awakening to seeing him shirtless. He should say so, so many things.

And instead he said none. Instead, he lunged forward and kissed him.

It was a short, chaste kiss, but it was enough for pieces to fall into place. That was definitely how that was supposed to feel. It probably had to do with Alex being superior. Where was a pedestal when you needed one?

“Um,” Alex said, taking a shaky breath as the kiss ended. Michael blinked a few times and pulled away a little more. Had he misread something? Alex licked his lips, looking at him like he didn’t get it. “Are-are… Is this a set up?”

“Huh?” Michael asked, furrowing his eyebrows. How the hell did he come to that conclusion?

“Is this one of those things where you kiss me and then ask me out and then I agree and then you stand me up and make fun of me with your friends?” he asked, hesitant rather than angry. Michael’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“What? No, oh my god, who did that?” Michael asked, voice soft. Alex shook his head dismissively, still eying him like he didn’t get it.

“You just kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I really wanna keep doing it too if you do.”

“There’s a party.”

“I’d rather we have our own.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.”

“So you know I’m into guys and you’re questioning?”

“No,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders, “I know you’re smart and beautiful and funny.”

Alex looked him up and down and that hesitance in his eyes slowly but surely bled into something else. His eyes darkened just a little and Michael’s stomach twisted. Alex slowly stepped back into his space, idle fingertips touching his elbows and slowly sliding up his arms and over his shoulders and over his neck and into his hair. He hadn’t even gotten another kiss and Michael felt like his brain had melted.

Alex cradled his head as he pulled him in for another kiss, this one packing much more of a purpose. He parted his lips and welcomed Alex’s tongue against his own. His hands reached for Alex’s hips, pulling him closer as he tilted his head to kiss him a little deeper. His tongue deliberately slid over his sore bottom lip, letting him know he was being careful not to kiss him too hard. Which would’ve been fine, but he didn’t actually care.

Michael pressed in harder and Alex smiled, tugging on his hair gently. Add that to the list of things to make his mind run wild.

They kissed for a while just standing there, both of them too hesitant to move in case they pushed a button that wasn’t willing to be pressed. But the kisses got more sloppy and the touches got more desperate, both of them swaying as they tried so hard to push in closer. Michael couldn’t remember a time he’d been so desperate to touch someone. Suddenly, there was no confusion at all about anything. It was just this, just them.

As Alex’s hands slid beneath his shirt, it reminded Michael of his little Grand Canyon speech. You take what you need, he’d said. Did this count? It felt like it counted. The more he kissed him, the more he realized he’d wanted to do this for a long time. He just… hadn’t let himself think that.

Michael pulled away to remove his shirt, diving back in for another kiss. Alex breathed a hot breath against his mouth as his hands raked over his bare chest, taking in every inch. No one had ever touched him like that. He wanted more.

“Wait,” Michael breathed. Alex snatched his hands away quickly, still breathing heavy as he pulled away to see what was wrong. Michael gave a reassuring smile. “Do you, uh, like, do you… know how to… like…”

Alex smiled at him in a way that could’ve been condescending, but distinctly wasn’t because it was him. He placed his hands on Michael’s chest again.

“Yeah,” he said, “Do you?”

Michael licked his lips and looked down between them. Alex was still fully clothed, but he really, really didn’t want him to be.

“Not, uh, not with a guy,” he admitted, swallowing as he met Alex’s eyes again. There was no judgement. “Kinda lost on how exactly that works.”

“Well, I can explain it to you,” Alex said, “If you want.”

Michael involuntarily moved forward, kissing him hotly. “I want.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed, smiling as he moved his hands up to fiddle with his hair. Michael felt like putty in his hands and he enjoyed every second of it. “But we don’t even have to go, like, that far. I don’t really have any… Like, I didn’t bring lube or anything, didn’t really anticipate this, so maybe we should just stick to the basics.”

“Basics?” Michael repeated. Alex nodded and gave him another kiss.

“If you want to,” Alex told him, “With me.”

“God, Alex,” Michael laughed, shaking his head, “I literally have never wanted anything more than you in my entire life. I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I have never liked someone as much as I like you and it’s really made this weekend impossible to enjoy anything that wasn’t you.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before he softly nodded and pulled him back into a kiss, but this one was a little different. This one was slow and held every goddamn secret in the universe. Yes, they were small, but yes, they were everything.

“C’mon,” Alex said, grabbing his hands and tugging him towards the bed.

Michael followed him with a lifetime of anticipation.

-

A knock sounded on the door to signify that they should be awake.

Michael groaned and went to reach for his phone, but paused when he realized he had the weight of another body on his back. Every moment of the night before all rushed into his mind and he smiled to himself, both excited that he’d been bold enough and disappointed that they probably wouldn’t get the chance to do anything like that again any time soon.

But, then again, he had a truck waiting for him.

“Alex,” Michael said, carefully turning so as not to crush him or throw him off, “We gotta get up. Bus loads in like an hour.”

Alex sighed and lifted his head, looking up at him. Even in his sleep-hazed state, he grinned.

“You’ve got sex hair,” he said. Michael snorted and ran in hands through Alex’s hair.

“Haha, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex teased, pushing himself up to kiss him again. That one led to another and another and they only broke when more persistent knocking came.

“Michael!” Isobel said, “Open up! I need you or I’m gonna die!”

Michael sighed at her dramatics and looked to Alex with a pout.

“Get dressed, we’ll pretend nothing happened,” Alex said and Michael nodded easily. They both got up and Michael had to brace himself against the wall, feeling a little off-kilter. Alex gave him a filthy grin. “Sore?” he asked innocently, waving two fingers at him. Michael huffed and held up his middle finger.

Eventually, they pulled themselves together and answered Isobel who didn’t seem to notice anything as she headed straight for Michael’s bed.

“She’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” Isobel groaned, “I can’t wait to get home.”

Michael spared a glance at Alex who went into the bathroom to pack all of his shit.

“I don’t know, I think I could entertain this trip for another night or two.”

“Yeah, well your roommate isn’t annoying,” Isobel scoffed. Michael grinned to himself.

“Yeah, you got that right.”

The ride back to Roswell was more than agonizing. Alex sat at the front and Michael sat with Isobel, the only contact they had being over text. It wasn’t enough. They still hadn’t really talked about what happens next. God, he wanted to know. He wanted everything.

He could imagine it easily: the two biggest troublemakers at Roswell High hooking up. They’d be an unstoppable team. The idea made him grin.

When they got back to the school after the multiple hours of trip they endured, Michael went to his truck and waited. Everyone else had their parents pick them up or drove their own cars back home. Things would just go back to normal. It was just a normal class trip. 

Except Alex Manes didn’t have anyone pick him up and he didn’t have a ride. Instead, he just walked up to Michael's truck once most everyone was gone and took a deep breath.

“We should talk,” he said. Michael licked his lips and nodded towards his truck.

“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked. Alex grinned easily.

“Hell yeah I do.”

They definitely did a little more than talking.

Who knew the Grand Canyon could be so great?

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding On  Ch4: Full Steeb Ahead

Summary: Frank is determined to get Fliss to hear him out. But will she believe him?

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Frank Adler x Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Hopefully after this @sweater-daddiesdumbdork will stop chasing me. As always, thanks to my unofficial beta @icanfeelastormbrewing​ for the usual inputs and opinions.  Chapter Song: Man Who Can’t Be Moved by The Script

Series Masterlist //  WIYPT Masterlist

People talk about the guy that’s waiting on a girl. There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world.

Frank woke early the next morning, well, maybe woke was an exaggeration seeing as he probably managed about an hour of straight sleep, if that. The rest was spent in small dozing periods of 20, maybe 30 minutes at a time.  His neck was stiff from laying on the couch, as was his back and deciding he would give up trying to get comfortable he sat up, stretching his muscles out before he ran a hand down his tired face.

It was still dark outside and he reached for his phone. It had just gone 6 am, which meant he had an hour or so before the house started to wake. Standing up, he grabbed the shirt he had discarded the night before and shoving it on he located his sneakers. Once they were on his feet he grabbed his keys and as quietly as he could let himself out of the house, locking the door behind him as he headed down the little pathway which led to the main one through their little estate.

He walked down past the harbour and the little garages which were starting to open, nodding to a few of the guys he used to see knocking around when he had worked there, continuing past the little row of bait and tackle shops, past the small café, before he reached the path that led along the rocky sea defence. He followed the sandy pathway down to the boardwalk along the beach and continued for as long as he could, his feet treading over the well-worn wooden slats, some of which were loose in places, before it ended and he hit the soft sand. He headed onto the beach, it was almost deserted apart from a few early morning dog walkers, which suited him fine.

The ocean always calmed him. He had no idea why, but it had done ever since he was a kid. He’d adored those family holidays taken before it all went to rat shit, memories of him, his father and his sister playing on the sand whilst his mother read a book shaded by a parasol, every so often looking up to observe what was going on before returning back to whatever latest theory she was reading up on.  And then at night, they would eat with a family, late walks on the beach were always a treat, watching the dark water as it lapped against the shore, his dad making up random tales about Peg Legged Pirates searching for treasure which was always buried not far from where they were stood.

He’d done the same with Mary, telling her the same tales he could remember and making up new ones when he couldn’t. She didn’t buy them anymore, she was far too old for her age, but he couldn’t wait to tell them to Bean when he or she arrived, see their little face light up as they glanced over the ocean searching for ghostly ships or dug in the sand for imaginary treasure.

He reached the water’s edge and looked out at the horizon for a few minutes taking in the detail of the sky which was lit up in hues of purple and orange as the sun hovered a few meters or so above the place where the sea hit the sky and he took a deep breath, trying to calm his mind. He was in a mess, a mess that was entirely his own doing, and he felt utterly powerless to fix it. If he couldn’t get Fliss to listen to him…well, he didn’t even want to think about that. But the more he tried not to, the more he did. He couldn’t lose her, not over some stupid misunderstanding like this. Pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ease the tension headache that was already forming behind his eyes, not helped by the lack of sleep, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to re-centre himself. He finally had everything he hadn't even realised he needed and losing it was not an option. He had to fix this. With one last deep breath he turned to take the 15 minutes or so walk back home.

The house was still quiet when he got back in but he could hear the sounds of the shower meaning Fliss was up. He headed into the bedroom, Thor raising his head from where he was led on the bed, and he bent over to give the dog a scratch behind the ear. He pulled out a clean pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of boxers, tossing them down on the pale blue bed covers, his head turning to face Fliss as she walked into the room, towel wrapped around her, hair piled in a messy bun on her head. His heart gave an instant pang as he took in how tired she looked, the guilt flooding over him as he knew it was his fault.

“Where did you go?” she asked him, her voice soft. “I heard the door.”

“For a walk.” he said, “Just to the beach. Needed some air.”

She looked at him for a moment before she nodded and moved to the dresser to pull out her clothes for the day.

“Can we talk?” he asked her tentatively and she stopped, straightening up before she looked at him.

“I told you last night, I’ve nothing to say.”

“No, but I have.” he pressed, “Lissy please…just hear me out, let me explain.”

She licked her lips and took a deep breath before she sighed “Fine, when Mary’s gone to school. But I have clients at 9 and I need to pick Rupert up so I’m leaving here at 8:15 no later.”

“Ok.” he nodded, giving her a small smile before he headed into the bathroom for a shower.

Breakfast was a little subdued, but he had to give Fliss her credit. She was polite and civil to him, even if she wasn’t affectionate. But it didn’t fool Mary. She asked him as he walked her down to the bus stop what was going on, and not being one to lie to her, he told her truthfully that he’d been an idiot over the weekend and needed to apologise to Fliss. At that she shot him a filthy look.

“You better fix things or I will kill you and hate you forever.” she said before she turned and stormed towards the waiting bus.

You and me both, Short Stack.

When he got back Fliss was waiting for him like she said she would be, sat at the table. She looked at him as he sat on the seat at the end, so he was to her right and facing her. She glanced at her watch “You got 15 minutes.” “Lissy, those photos…” Frank dove straight in, he had not time to waste and even if he did, he didn’t want to. This was eating him up inside “I know they look bad…”

“No shit sherlock…”

“I swear to God, nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened.” She repeated, looking at him and he shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“Then how the fuck did she end up on your knee Frank?”

He took a deep breath “In all honestly I only know from what Simon and Greg told me.” he said, “I was drunk, I’d already pushed her away earlier in the night and she came over with her friends, one of them was getting into one of the guys Jake works with and she just sat on my knee. Apparently it took me a while but in the end I told her to get lost. I was quite rude to her, so they say.”

“You look fairly comfortable with her on your lap in the photo.” Fliss said after a moment, her voice quiet. The hurt in her tone made Frank feel even more like shit, as she wasn’t screaming or shouting which to be honest he was fairly sure he would have dealt with a whole lot better. “And in the other photo where you look like you’re about to kiss her.”

“Baby, I swear to you seconds after that I told her no. I’d just bumped into her and she was falling so I grabbed her to make sure she didn’t as that was the second time I’d nearly kno-“

“The second time?” Fliss looked at him and Frank closed his eyes, letting out a groan. “So you accidently nearly kissed her before.”

“No, that’s not-“ “Keep digging Frank, because that hole you’re in is getting deeper and deeper by the second.” she shook her head, looking away.

“I nearly knocked her over before.” he said, “Round the pool. I’d just finished talking to you, turned round and bumped straight into her.” “Right, and she just happened to be there in the club then after you ‘bumped’…” she framed the words with her fingers “…into her?”

“Again, full honestly, no, I don’t think she did” he shook his head “She was flirty. Made some comment or other when I said I’d watch where I was going about how she hoped not, and then we saw them on the Friday night too in one of the bars…”

Fliss looked at him and shook her head “The irresistible Adler charm eh?” Her voice carried a note of sarcasm, and Frank shook his head.

“Baby I’m just being honest here, telling you the truth. She was with a group on a 21st and I think they just saw a gang of guys and…” he shrugged “I dunno…they screwed Aaron, Chad and Jeff out of plenty of drinks so...” Fliss licked her lips and looked down, her hands fiddling with the now empty glass in her hands.

“Sweetheart, I get why you’re mad, I really do…and maybe I should have told her to fuck off sooner…”

“Maybe?” “Alright, not maybe, I should have but…I swear to god I didn’t kiss her, I didn’t sleep with her…nothing happened” He reached for her hand, his fingers gently squeezing hers “I love you, more than I can even begin to explain, and our Bean…the thought of being with anyone else never crosses my mind.”

She looked at him, then down at his hand which was over hers before she took a deep breath. Her head was a mash. Half of her wanted to believe him, his face and his words were so sincere and he’d never lied to her before, ever. But the other half…those damned photos. And either way, whether he had kissed her or not, he had been far too close, and she’d sat on his fucking knee long enough for someone to get a picture.

“You do believe me, right?” Frank asked, his eyes locking onto hers.

“Honestly?” she asked.

“Always.” he nodded.

“I don’t know what to believe…” she said, before she pulled her hand away and stood up, “I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”

*****

“Hey Titch…” Steve greeted Fliss as she walked into the annex and instantly frowned when he saw her face “You ok?”

“Yeah…I’m fine.” She shrugged, not wanting to talk about what was happening anymore. She was tired. “Where’s Roo?”

“He’s out back.” Steve frowned “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit nothing.” he said, looking at her. She looked away as the tears filled her eyes and she turned to her brother shaking her head.

“Just Frank…and…”

“What’s he done?” Steve asked

“I don’t know.” Fliss said, her tears trickling down her face. “That’s just it…”

Steve put the coffee mug he was holding down on the side and swept his sister into his arms. “Hey, come on…”

She pressed her face into his grey t-shirt as his arms wrapped around her and she simply cried the tears she’d been holding back all morning. Eventually Steve pulled back and looked down at her, letting out a soft sigh. “What’s going on Lissy?”

She moved to take out her phone and wordlessly scrolled to the offending photos which she had saved and handed the phone to him. “There’s another one…” she said, as she saw her brother’s face darken. Steve swiped across and let out a huff through his nose.

“Ok.” he nodded “They don’t look great. What’s he had to say about them?”

Fliss swallowed “That he was drunk, and moments after the first one he pushed the girl away and on the second one…well, he says he told her to get lost too but…” “But you don’t believe him?”

“I don’t know Steve, that’s the problem.” she shrugged “I want to believe him, and he’s never lied to be before…and then there’s the message he sent me about being in someone else’s room and…”

“Hang on…someone else’s room?”

Fliss nodded and explained the whole mix up, about how he had been with Simon but even that she was having her doubts about now and Steve listened, his hand running over his beard as he took in her words.

“Have you talked to any of the other guys that were there?” he asked and she shook her head.

“Bonnie tried calling me before but, well to be honest they’re all gonna cover for him, even if he did do it aren’t they? I mean fuck…, seeing those damned photos…it was humiliating and…”

Steve sighed, handing her the phone back. “Look, Lissy, I’ve been in this position before. Some woman all over me and Sian getting the hump. Photos are a snap shot in time, they never tell the whole story…you know that as well as anyone.”

“Yeah, but the same girl is there, on his fucking lap Steve…”

“I know, and yes, regardless of what he did he shouldn’t have let that happen but…fucking hell, he was in Vegas, pissed out of his brains.” Steve sighed “I’m not excusing it, before you start, and I’m not dismissing your worry but…I dunno Liss, just don’t jump to any conclusions ok? Give it some thought.” “I can’t think about anything else.” she murmured. “God you’re just like dad.” Steve chuckled “Could be worse people to be like. Look, go to work, get your thoughts straight and if you’re adamant at the end of the day you still don’t believe him then just come here for the night and we’ll take it from there ok?”

Fliss nodded and wiped at her face “Thanks Steve.” “What are big brother’s for huh?” She smiled and then eyed him a little “You’re not gonna do anything stupid are you?” “Define stupid?” “Like go round there and punch him?” Steve shook his head “I promise, no punching.” Satisfied he was telling her the truth she whistled for both dogs who came trotting over, bid her brother goodbye and headed out to her jeep.

****** With nothing else much to do on his day off, Frank was busy scrolling the internet looking at realtor pages. Whilst things were still up in the air, it was helping him focus on being positive, because being anything else was not an option. So far nothing in particular had grabbed his eye but still, it was keeping him occupied as he tried to push the fear he was harbouring to the back of his mind.

He was pulled from his browsing by a knock to the door. Setting the laptop to one side he stood up and headed down the hallway and no sooner had he opened the door someone had gripped the collar of his shirt and shoved him harshly into the wall. It took him a split second to focus and when he realised who it was he gripped the front of them man’s shirt and pushed back. There was a little scuffle in the hallway until Frank managed to free himself from the man’s grip before he stood there, glaring at him, chest heaving.

“Fuck off Steve…” he glared at him.

“I warned you.” Steve looked at him “I told you what would happen if you hurt her Frank…”

“Yes, I remember what you said.” Frank looked at him, shaking his head.

“And yet you still did it…” “Oh get fucked, this has nothing to do with you…” “Piss off Frank, it has everything to do with me.” Steve snarled “She turned up this morning for the dog in a right state. Showed me the photos.”

Frank sighed and hung his head. He should have expected this.

“I told her not to jump to conclusions, trying to keep her calm but I gotta admit Frank…they look pretty damning.”

“I’m aware of that, thanks.” Frank bit back “And you know what, I don’t need this. Things are enough of a mess as it is without adding a brawl with you into the equation.” he turned back to head into the living room “Close the door on your way out.”

“Look me in the eye, tell me you didn’t…” Steve said to his back and Frank stopped, shaking his head as he turned to face him.

“Of course I didn’t. I’d never do that to her.”

Frank met Steve’s glare with one of his own and he could practically see the man’s mind whirring. Eventually he took a deep breath and jerked his head in a stiff nod.

“I had to know Frank.” he said, his tone less confrontational, and Frank knew Steve well enough to understand that was as much of an apology as he was going to get. Frank didn’t say anything, simply turned away once more and headed into the lounge.

“So what happened?” Steve asked following him.

“I was shit faced, that’s what happened.” Frank sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. He turned to look at Steve once more “The girl was part of a group that we’d bumped into a few times. She was a little flirty and yeah, I talked to her, but… she was a fucking kid they were there on a 21st party.”

Steve arched an eyebrow slightly as Frank pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

“She tried kissing me in the bar, I pushed her away. I don’t even know how she ended upon my lap but I told her to get lost and…” he shrugged and looked at Steve “There’s nothing more to it…”

“And the morning after when you woke up elsewhere?”

Frank let out a groan “I was in Simon’s room. I passed out…we both did. Liss called me that morning, she even heard Simon on the phone…” Steve watched him carefully as Frank simply shook his head “I’ve explained all this to her…”

“I know.” Steve said “I just wanted to hear it for myself.” he took a deep breath “Any coffee going?”

Frank looked at him and Steve gave him a small smile, causing Frank’s spirit to lift somewhat. Her brother believed him, which was the best thing he could have hoped for in the circumstances.

“Sure…” Frank nodded and headed to the kitchen, Steve following. He made them both a drink, not another word spoken until he handed him a mug and Steve took a sip, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“Look, Frank, I don’t think she believes you cheated, not really. From what she said to me I think she’s more upset really about how she found out.”

“She wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for those damned photos because there is nothing to find out.” Frank shook his head.

“When she told you about John…did she ever mention his little photo stunts?” Steve looked at Frank and Frank paused, frowning a little as he racked his brains, and then a conversation one stormy night as they lay in bed suddenly flashed into his mind.

“He used to go out and deliberately let women paw at him, and instead of hiding any photo evidence he used to simply flaunt it, splash it all over Facebook. That’s why I de-activated all my social media until recently…”

“Fuck.” Frank groaned, shaking his head.

“Manipulation.” Steve said, his jaw set “He would never do anything with the girls but he made Lissy think he had and would then accuse her of being jealous, and paranoid. Was his twisted of getting her to come off social media, another way to isolate her, keep her in line.”

“She doesn’t think that’s what I was doing?” Frank looked at Steve, a horrified expression on his face.

“God, no.” Steve shook his head, “She knows you’re not that man…but Frank, as happy and as safe as she is, those scars are gonna be there for a long time.” “I know.” “And I know that the fact that ass hole could still be casting a shadow over everything you have, especially now he’s well out of the picture, is basically really shit, but…” “I should have remembered.” Frank shook his head. “But, well, to be honest I’ve never had to explain myself like that to any girl, let alone the one I want to spend my life with and I was so caught up in getting her to believe me, I didn’t even consider any of that. Looks like I just fucked things up even more.”

“She’ll come round.” Steve looked at him. “Just give her time.” “I hope you’re right.” Frank shrugged “Because if she doesn’t I’ll never forgive myself.”

****

Fliss groaned as she looked at the caller ID on her phone. It was Bonnie again.

“Fucks sake…” She grumbled, before answering, deciding to get it over and done with.

“Finally!” Bonnie said, “I’ve been so worried about you…”

“Look, Bonnie I’m really busy…”

“Just 5 minutes…hear me out, please.”

“If you’re gonna start pleading Frank’s case…”

“There’s no case to plead. Simon told me everything last night, apparently about 30 seconds after she’d perched on his knee Frank suddenly realised what was going on and told her to fuck off.” “Well he would say that, he’s his friend…”

“Oh come on Fliss…” Bonnie made an exasperated noise “First off I can tell when Simon is lying, and he wasn’t, and second off, do you really think Frank would cheat on you?”

“I’m sick of everyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t think.” Fliss practically snarled “I don’t have time for this.”

She cut the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket, her hand gently sliding over her bump.

“You know, people are only trying to help Titch.”

Fliss spun round to see her brother in the doorway to the office and she let out a groan “I thought you were over to do work…” “I am…meetings start tomorrow.”

“Right, well, go and find something else to do. I’m busy.”

“Don’t get shitty with me…” Steve frowned.

“Steve just…fuck off!” Fliss exploded “I can’t deal with…” she stopped and shook her head “Why can’t everyone just leave me alone.” “Because they’re trying to help.” he said softly

“Well they’re not.” she sniffed

“Titch…look at me.” Steve said gently and she raised her head to meet her brother’s eyes, her own watering with tears.  “Do you hand on heart believe he would cheat on you…seriously?”

“I didn’t…”

“So why do you now?”

“I don’t know if I do…it’s just those photos and…” “Fuck the photos.” Steve said, his voice a little sterner. “You know full well they never tell a full story.” Fliss swallowed as she looked at her brother, as he continued.

“Do you truly think Frank is the type of man who would, after everything you two went through, jump into bed with some tramp in Vegas whilst this pregnant fiancée is at home, looking after his niece?”

Fliss looked down at the floor, her tears falling down her cheeks.

“Because I don’t Liss.” Steve continued “Especially not now he looked me in the eye and said he hasn’t.”

At that her head jerked up and she frowned. “You went round?”

“Yeah.”

“Steve you promised not to!”

“No, I promised not to punch him. And I didn’t.” he shrugged, not a shred of apology in his tone. “I talked to him, asked him straight to explain to my face.”

“And you believe him?”

“Yeah I do believe him, completely. I think he was drunk, and at worst potentially indulged the girl a little over the days they were there, which, ok, he shouldn’t have done but at worst he’s guilty of nothing but allowing some 21 year old kid to flirt with him a little.  And if that’s a crime then, fuck, you better shoot me along with half the population now.”

Liss looked away, her brother’s words ringing in her head. Truth was they hit home. She had always been a flirty person by nature, it was just the way she was…well, had been until John beat it out of her. But Frank, well, Frank had never bothered about her talking to other men before because he knew she was his…

“Is this really about him, or is this all to do with that fucker again?” Steve asked.

Fliss gave a snort and looked up at Steve. “Can you read minds?”

“No, you just get this look on your face whenever you think about him.”

She stayed silent.

“Frank isn’t John” Steve spoke gently.

“I know that Steve…”

“So stop comparing the two.”

“I’m not.”

“Ok, really? So tell me honestly when you saw those photos your mind didn’t go to his party trick of being photographed with every girl he could manage to on a night out to rub your nose in it, whether he cheated or not?”

“I know that’s not what Frank was doing.” she shook her head. And she did, truly. Frank would never manipulate her like that but she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it, and how shit it made her feel “I just…”

“You’re waiting for something to come along and fuck everything up for you.” Steve said, looking at her.  “Which I get, I really do Titch because of everything you’ve been through but you need to stop looking over your shoulder and worrying about what you think is gonna happen, and simply look at what is, because if you don’t then eventually you’re just going to fuck it all up for yourself.”

Fliss turned away from her brother, his words cutting her to the core. He was right. She was, whether consciously or not, constantly wondering when her happiness was going to shatter around her because all she had ever known in a relationship was pain and anger. Some days she would wake before Frank and lie there, watching his face as he slept, committing every single detail right down to those freckles that spattered his nose and cheek, unable to believe how lucky she was. Engaged to a man who asked her to marry him because he loved her and didn’t merely want to possess her. She had a home, not a house, a surrogate daughter in Mary, days filled with laugher and happiness, and a baby on the way. It was a dream for most people, including her and she was perpetually scared one day someone or something would take it all from her. Just as they always had before.

“You know, Frank told me that he’s never had to explain himself to a girl before…” Steve gave took a deep breath “He’s now petrified that being honest with you has just made things worse. Doesn’t that tell you something?” Fliss looked at her brother, taking in his words. This was all unchartered territory for Frank too. What they were building together was new. He wanted it and more importantly he wanted it with her. As that realisation washed over her so did another one, the understanding that he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise what they have.

“Look, what the pair of you have is special. Don’t let something as stupid as this ruin it all because you both deserve better than that.”

The tears in Fliss’ eyes began to spill down her cheeks and Steve sighed, pulling her to his chest, gently rocking her to and fro, simply allowing her to cry.

****

When Fliss got home Frank wasn’t there, but there was a Pandora Gift Bag sat on the coffee table. Curiosity got the better of her and she undid the bag, opening the box inside. It was a small stroller charm and she swallowed, placing the box back in the bag. She heard the door open and turned as Frank appeared in the doorway.

“Before you ask…” Frank nodded at the bag in her hand “I didn’t buy you that as a sweetener. I got that in Vegas before any of this kicked off.”

“I didn’t…” she shook her head, placing it back on the table “That wasn’t what I thought.”

He gave her a nod and she studied him for a second, before Mary bounced into the room.

“Hey!” Fliss smiled at her, “You had a good day.”

“Yeah, it was ok.” Mary nodded “They were all doing math today but I did some of my uni work whilst they did the times tables. Have you and Frank made up yet?”

Liss hesitated and Frank gently dropped his hand to the back of Mary’s head.

“We talked, and we still need to talk some more.” he said “Any chance you can give us some space?”

She eyed him for a moment before she shrugged “I got homework, I’ll be in my room.”

“Thanks Stack.” he smiled and she turned and headed back out of the room. Once she was out of ear shot Frank turned to Fliss.

“So I had a visit from Steve…”

“I heard.” Fliss said “I’m sorry I told him not to.”

“He was just being a big brother.” Frank shook his head “But I’m not gonna lie, he scared the shit out of me.” “Well he came to the yard after, fighting your corner. As has Bonnie…”

“Honey, I didn’t ask them to…”

“I know.” she said softly. There was a moment of silence before she sighed and shook her head. “Frank, I’m sorry…”

“Liss…”

“Let me finish, please.” she shook her head and Frank fell silent, his hands falling into the pockets of his jeans. “If I’m honest I don’t think I ever thought you’d really cheated, I guess…well I saw the photos and…” she trailed off, shrugging “I’m sorry for not believing you, but I’m still pissed at you for getting yourself in that position in the first place.”

Frank hesitated for a second. He was about to protest that he was just drunk, point out that he hadn’t meant to get himself in any position at all,  but then he stopped himself. She was angry and hormonal, and he’d rather have her pissed at him for being an idiot than believing he was unfaithful.

So instead he nodded “Ok that’s fair. I get it. And I’m sorry.”

She looked at him for a moment and he stepped forward to give her a hug but she simply moved back a little and gave him a small smile “I’ll start dinner…”

“Sure…” his voice was quiet. He wanted nothing than to hold her in his arms, run his hand over the place his baby was growing, her bump seemingly even bigger than it had been that morning but he also didn’t want to push it. She hadn’t left, she believed him, but she was pissed. However, Frank knew she would get over that in time…which he understood he had to give her, and respect the boundaries she set too. So, with that in mind he took a deep breath and followed her into the kitchen.

“Do you want me to help or…”

“No, it’s only stir fry.” she shook her head. “Did you already feed Mary or…”

He frowned and looked at her, and then realised what she was referring to. They hadn’t been home when she arrived.

“Oh, no…I picked her up and then ran my suit into the dry cleaners.” he said “It had something all over the front of it…god knows what.”

She nodded. “Ok, well it won’t be too long.”

“I’ll set the table then.” he nodded. He moved around, careful not to step into her space as he gathered the various items around and carrying them into the dining room. Once he had completed that he headed out telling Fliss he was going to wash up and tell Mary to do the same.

Fliss acknowledged him and continued with cooking, when suddenly she felt a really strange sensation in her stomach. It was like a fluttering, almost as if she had bubbles inside her belly, and then she realised instantly what it was.

Their baby had moved. And she’d just felt it for the first time.

Pausing what she was doing her hand fell to her bump as the tiny little sensations flooded her and she felt a smile creeping over her face.

“Hey Bean…” she said softly.

At that point Frank came back into the room and saw her, her hand on her bump, stood perfectly still, looking down at her belly and he frowned.

“Lissy?” he looked at her as she raised her head to look at him “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I just felt Bean move!” she smiled, her eyes bright and Frank let out a grin.

“Really?” he stepped forward, his hand out but he paused. Fliss looked at him and he locked eyes with her. Fliss understood instantly, he was waiting for her to say it ok after she told him last night not to touch her.

He was asking her permission.

Instantly her heart melted towards him, she loved this man, with everything she had. And he loved her. She gently took his hand and pulled on it softly, and he closed the distance as she pressed his palm to her stomach, leaving her hand resting over his.

“I doubt you’ll feel it…it was just like bubbles, not really a kick or anything.” she said as he looked down before he raised his eyes back to her “But they can hear you now though, according to Mary’s extensive research.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. Frank took a deep breath and knelt down, both his hands resting on the side of her belly as he grinned “Hey kid…you cooking well?”

Fliss felt the flutters again, a little stronger this time and she smiled, her hand running into Frank’s hair “They just did it again. They clearly know your voice, daddy.”

He glanced up at her, his eyes watering “I love you both so much.”

“I know.” she sniffed “I love you too.”

Frank stood up, his hands sliding up Fliss’ thighs to her hips and as he did, hers fell from his hair to his shoulders. They both stayed still, simply looking at one another till Frank leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss.

“This doesn’t mean I’ve completely forgiven you.” she muttered against his mouth and he smiled.

“I wouldn’t dream of suggesting it did.” he shrugged “But is it at least enough to get me off the couch? My back is killing me.”

“You wanna compare back ache?” she arched an eyebrow.

“No, no, not at all, obviously yours is far worse than mine could possibly be…”

Fliss narrowed her eyes. “Is that sarcasm?”

“Absolutely not.” he told her sincerely, shaking his head. His eyes, however, told her a different story. Those azure blues she knew and loved shone with humour, utterly betraying him.

“Hmmm, well I’ll think about it.” she said, her hands moving to pat his chest. “Now get lost, I need to finish dinner.”

Frank turned away, a smile on his face. As he always told Mary, an I’ll think about it wasn’t a no.

[daleisgreat]

Speed

Today’s entry will mark the first official 4K home video release I am writing about. I already own a few other 4K UHDs, and a couple of months ago, I watched my first 4K video at home with 2001’s The Fast and the Furious. However, I already covered that movie’s BluRay release here several years ago, so I will not be dedicating another entry for it, other than to say that the 4K upgrade pops and makes it look like a new release. Today’s entry is for 1994’s Speed (trailer). Before diving into this movie, I noticed one of the tracks from this film’s score repeatedly used throughout sounds awfully like one of the main themes I primarily associated with the Metal Gear Solid franchise. I have no idea if this was pointed out before, and I just overlooked it all these years, or maybe I am grasping at straws. Click or press here to take a listen and decide for yourself. 1994 was a hell of a year for Hollywood movies primarily transpiring from a highway with The Chase, Speed, and the OJ Simpson Bronco chase….oh wait (although I highly recommend the ESPN 30 for 30 on it, simply titled: June 17th 1994). The majority of Speed has a straightforward premise: serial bomber and local madman Howard Payne (Dennis Hopper) planted a bomb on a bus rigged to explode once the bus drops below 55 miles per hour. Police officer Jack Traven (Keanu Reeves) is alerted to this by the bomber himself to exact revenge on Traven after successfully rescuing hostages from an elevator Payne armed at the beginning of the film.

From there, for the middle hour of this nearly two-hour film, the action almost entirely takes place on the bus. Traven makes a grand entrance onto the bus by commandeering a Jaguar and having its owner (Glenn Plummer) take the wheel so Traven could heroically leap onto the bus and save the day. It would not be that easy of a rescue mission as Payne has eyes on the bus, and Traven has to play by his rules and get him his $3 million ransom to disarm the bus. Without question, the middle hour on the bus is the best part of the film. The opening half-hour is an excellent appetizer with the elevator hostage crisis that Traven and his partner, Harry (Jeff Daniels), successfully foil. However, once the action shifts to the bus is when Speed takes off. Shortly after taking control of the bus, one of the passengers freaks and inadvertently shoots the bus driver, and a fellow passenger, Annie (Sandra Bullock), takes over the wheel. Throughout the film, Annie and Traven have wonderful chemistry, and I could not help but root for the duo throughout. Every couple of minutes, there is a new potential conflict to overcome to keep the bus going over 55mph. The film wisely peppers in brief dialog exchanges to let the movie breathe just enough before the next hurdle makes itself present.

The film's standout moment is the major obstacle for the bus to overcome when it encounters a stretch of unavoidable highway under construction and missing a hearty chunk of the road. Traven’s solution is that since that stretch of a road is on an incline, they may clear that gap if they build up enough speed! That epic stunt hits all the right notes, and I got goosebumps all over again re-watching it, and odds are, I bet you did too if you have seen this movie. If you have not, then watch this scene and see for yourself by click or pressing here. A lot of the critical discussion in the aftermath of this movie was if that jump was realistically possible. The best thing I can do is to compare it to another film, Road Trip, which is likely a better indicator of what could happen when attempting such a feat. Once the middle bus portion of the film is over, there are still about 20 minutes left where Traven tracks and chases down Payne in a subway station. The movie felt over once the bus portion had such a satisfying conclusion that it almost feels wrong to keep sticking with the film by this point, but I recommend you do since there is a satisfying payoff in the form of Payne’s demise. I have to share a story now when I first saw this film at around 13 or 14 on VHS. My dad’s VCR had what seemed to me at the time was a revolutionary feature where if I kept pressing the pause button repeatedly, it would slowly, frame-by-frame, play the film in super slow-motion. At that age, I thought this was a fantastic way to get the most out of the biggest stunts in action scenes. My favorite moment exploiting this feature was seeing Traven and Payne wrestle around on the top of a subway train until Payne was not watching his field of vision, and a warning light lead to his sudden beheading. I slow-motion replayed that sequence countless times in my awkward, early teenage years. Suffice it to say, Hopper plays the out-of-his-mind bomber perfectly, going so far as to make sure he receives his appropriate cinematic comeuppance.

The director ensures the many passengers on the bus maximized their minutes to the point I where it feels like you are right there with them!

Two audio commentaries are the only extra features of the 4K disc in this 4K/BluRay combo pack. One is with the director, Jan de Bont, and the other is with producer Mark Gordon and writer Graham Yost. Props are to whoever decided to subtitle the commentary tracks. I very much appreciate it! I first started to bounce back and forth between the two commentary tracks, but Bont was way too relaxed and had too many pauses to hold my attention, and I finished up with his track within five minutes. However, Yost and Gordon are very much engaged from beginning to end and have fun cracking jokes and sharing memories throughout. Some quick takeaways I got from them were how they wanted to film a major scene outside of a sports arena, dealing with critics poking holes at how unrealistic their stunts were, and how watching the movie felt very different at the time of the commentary recording just two months after 9/11. The BluRay disc contains the remainder of the bonus features. Inside Speed is a four-part feature lasting just under an hour breaking down the visual effects, stunts, and location sequences, but half of it also contains an HBO First Look special hosted by Dennis Hopper that hits all the right kinds of cheesy mid-90s EPK nostalgia that it is worth checking out. Aside from 12 minutes of extended scenes and a Billy Idol music video that seems totally off base with the tempo of the film, there are a couple of Action Sequences mini-features breaking down some of the stunts. I highly recommend watching the one dissecting how they did the bus jump, as it shows raw footage of what really happened when they shot it, and showed footage of some of the specific safety measures they instilled to make that stunt as safe as possible and had some eye-opening interviews with the stunt driver before and after.

After watching that old VHS copy nearly a dozen times, Speed wound up being one of my favorite action films I got burnt out early on and never bothered upgrading to a DVD or standalone BluRay. Watching it again in 4K all these years later breathed new life into it for me. I am not an expert at breaking down video quality by any means, but watching the 4K disc on my 4KTV gave the impression of this having far more current production values. The editors somehow managed to remove all the old film grain defects for a smooth 4K upgrade. If you have not seen Speed yet, then it has everything you could want out of a mid-90s action movie with explosions, gripping thrills and stunts, dramatic rescues, plenty of zinger one-liners…..and a Billy Idol theme song. Pardon me while I attempt my best Dennis Hopper impression here, “Pop quiz, hotshot, which 1994 blockbuster that takes place primarily on a bus is a perfect candidate for beer and popcorn movie night at home?” Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Endgame The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve The Clapper Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed I & II Deck the Halls Detroit Rock City Die Hard Dirty Work Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Grunt: The Wrestling Movie Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hell Comes to Frogtown Hercules: Reborn Hitman I Like to Hurt People Indiana Jones 1-4 Inglourious Basterds Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jay and Silent Bob Reboot Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Justice League (2017 Whedon Cut) Last Action Hero Major League Mallrats Man of Steel Man on the Moon Man vs Snake Marine 3-6 Merry Friggin Christmas Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpions Revenge National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets Nintendo Quest Not for Resale Old Joy Payback (Director’s Cut) Pulp Fiction The Punisher (1989) The Ref The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VIII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery Scott Pilgrim vs the World The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Slacker Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Sully Take Me Home Tonight TMNT Trauma Center The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild The Wizard Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

[unproduciblesmackdown]

even more prompts catchup

April 5th: What was school like for you, or what is it currently like for you if you are still in school? Elementary, high school, post-secondary?

i Hate/d school lmfao......like i do Like To Learn and Know Shit, and of course Sometimes / on some occasions it was like, hey i'm having a good to pretty great time at school, but those were usually Special occasions or teachers going out of their way to give us you know, fun projects / go beyond the Standardized Testing curriculum, which natch they couldn't always do / did require sort of going Above & Beyond, rather than being the constant, guaranteed experience of like hooray for school......it's like, oh hooray re: the Play Scenes my fourth grade english class did that was like, an Extra thing, where we got to audition and i just had a great time like oh right, clearly Theatre in retrospect, or hooray re: the field trips, or projects we did In Class, since i hated homework.......i was always that accursed (i mean, not accursed for Me, but) combination of "really a terrible student but also gets great grades" lmao i forever do things Last Minute but like, when i was At school, in class, i'd just power through whatever work there was then & there usually, and in middle school would sometimes do hw on the bus, as i was the last on the bus route to be picked up in the morning or dropped off in the afternoon, but as soon as i got home i was in Home Mode and yknow. didn't just sit down and continue School Stuff asap. also hardly ever Studying unless it's the night / morning before a test lmfao but i had a great memory for that stuff, so studying that last minute was like "yep, i Do remember this from going over it 2 seconds ago" so yknow, despite hating school / no good Study Habits(tm) or anything, i did fine. i also read a ton, at home or at school and at any other point. so i was also like, quiet and generally ~well behaved~ or whatever lol (the like "how are kids (or anyone) supposed to stay focused and on task for 7+ hours a day..." thing), segue into next paragraph

i also remember like, 3 day a week preschool being the first time i was, you know, in some sort of School and also around other kids that much, i did have this sense that like, somehow there were Rules that i wasn't following, not re: Classroom Rules or something, but wrt socializing with peers, like that everyone else had something going on in how they interacted which i wasn't gonna get right, & i had this sense of like, not really being Allowed to interact lmao, even being 4 years old i have a few distinct memories re: this of like, a) choosing to play by myself in the classroom or when outside, and b) my "best friend" being the one person who just like, chose to hang out with me lmfao, but i was like oh cool Having A Friend lmao, like i didn't Not want to have friends, i was just already aware of like, i don't feel like i can just up and interact w/these people and i don't feel like they want me to, and c) re: that being aware of whatever Rules Of Interaction existing and that i wouldn't meet them / abide by them and thus there'd be some kind of repercussion for not meeting those rules, and not being allowed, i remember that like. there was this other indoor playspace in the lower level and there were toys i wanted to play with but Refrained from, and it was like, why did 4 yr old me get the idea i Wasn't Really Allowed, and most of what i can theorize is that it was like, well other kids might want to play with that, and the Normal / Better kids should get priority lmao, and/or being nervous that it just might otherwise lead to some sort of Interaction i wouldn't feel ready for.....and d) sitting at a table with like whatever 4 or 5 other kids or something and amongst ourselves someone was like "oh put your foot in the middle if you're [x]" and i tried to join in on a technicality lmfao and also just in, you know, active efforts to be Participating with these other kids on their terms, and it did not pay off, something that repeated uhhhhh, forever i guess lol. insert that post like can allistic people be normal for 5 seconds.....

like in elementary school i wasn't really making friends either, incredibly, i was Amicably Tolerated by many people then & like, again also at any point after at least lmao (and it helps that i was generally in teachers' good graces, not that i narced on anyone ever, but i had like, my Niche as the Academically Successful One, and also i was the kid who draws, another shoutout to some post and tweet about how being The Drawing Kid was like, some measure of respect but also disdain lmfao...) and sometimes people would again like. choose to interact with me repeatedly, and i'd sort of be nonplussed at best b/c it's like, okay thanks but in this situation i didn't Choose this any more than i choose [Trying to be in the group but being rejected/excluded], so it's kinda weird, i was friends with someone for a few years in elementary school but we just were Coincidentally in the same class for those years, when we were in different classes in 3rd or 4th grade and just weren't seeing each other it fizzled out, in middle school i made another couple friends where we were all being Funny lmao, but i didn't go to high school, so once again we weren't seeing each other, and [At School] was where i always had most Interactions with people, didn't see people much outside of school even if we were hanging out / being friends During school, for [a whole tangent] reasons, so. guess the good news is i'm still in touch / friendly acquaintances with some people from school from college, but even then, there was Some more social success or whatever, but not all That much, and i was still unhappy like, not having many friends, often being like "i'm going to the cafe a block away b/c i have no social occasions here and i want to get out of the dorm / be around people," that if i was with more than one other person i could end up the third wheel friend lmao or nobody is paying attention when you talk or oh no i put myself out there hanging with a friend group but maybe people thought you were a joke or something, thanks. smh

and that like, speaking of college, i went early but this was, for my part, truly primarily driven like "well i hate school so if i can Not go to high school, okay" and like, while i got in and everything it was still like "tf is college, i've never known what i Want To Do so i wonder if i'll figure this out, but i'm not expecting to last past the first semester / year b/c this is college and i'm a terrible student actually lol" but then turns out i kept doing well enough like A's & B's like oh woops i guess i'm still here, then, hope i can figure out what tf "credit hours" means (finally did lol).....then sophomore year was a bunch of just Agonizing over "what tf do i major in," something i never figured out, wherein i might bring something up & it got parentally shot down like "never heard you talk about that" like what tf Did you hear me talk about? are you thinking i had my life figured out by age 9, b/c i didn't think that, i'm only 15/16 even Now, even being the Regular college age it's like, nobody's figuring their life out then. also i didn't tell my parents things, so. and then i settle on something that sure, Might've been of interest, but also it was like, a) a program that barely existed and req'd taking classes at a like 30 min away campus and also the head of department had Just retired and the most heinous teacher in the related fields was now in charge, brilliant and b) the sort of thing you'd just wanna start taking prerequisites for like as soon as you set foot on campus, like, great. and c) i was like, hardly feeling all the Academic Ambition anyway b/c i never had, b/c i hate/d school, and b/c i still didn't Know what i wanted to major in, and i was stressed n depressed and also realizing oh right, i'm not cishet, and oh right, i'm never going to get along with my family b/c [long tangent] reasons and that's kind of concerning, here i am impending Being 18 and like, how do i get out of this b/c it's becoming clearer that i'm not just gonna start getting along with the 'rents now that i'm not an elementary schooler and also now that i'm realizing the Reasons being at home sucks. guess i learned stuff in college lol but also it was like, the experience of getting to be Away From Home and existing every day without parents literally / figuratively over my shoulder at some point every day, and getting to do shit on my own and figure things out while Not At Home.....i also had a lot of fun taking a couple classes from this one music prof lol. he was this weird really enthusiastic and really knowledgeable guy lmao like great, these evening classes where we go over to the arts building and he plays things on the piano off the cuff and tells a lot of tangential stories while we're learning about like, beethoven technically, or folk music. didn't need those classes but they were great, i've had these teachers who were totally into whatever they were teaching and had a great time with that

also acknowledgment to the fact i was a No Extracurriculars person all through school, k thru 6 and college alike really, although i took dance class for that k thru 6 period, just that was separate from school actually (and another fun "being away from home" thing and Theatresque performance thing i enjoyed) but besides that it was like, how do i figure out what i want to do without committing to joining this whole thing, i don't know How to sign up for stuff really either, and it'd probably entail "asking for stuff" and needing to coordinate more rides and etc and that's just a hassle, and i wanna go home from school asap anyways, and then like, when it came to college, i was again at first thinking like "well idk what i'm doing and i hate homework so i'll probably mess it up in this first year anyways" and figured that doing anything Extra outside classes was just gonna be too much, and also, it's like, i've never been in these kinds of groups before and why am i gonna start in college, where there'll probably be all these people who Have done this stuff before, and are also 18? e.g. even though it was like "hey you're away from home and don't have to ask/tell anyone else anything to do this club stuff or whatever!" supposed ideal environment for trying stuff out, it was like, maybe i'm theoretically interested in auditioning for the fall theatre production, but the last acting experience i had was like, "2 month drama class in middle school" or "that 4th grade [section of a] play" so like, not really Any education or experience or Training re: any of that stuff, and a bunch of 18 yr olds who might've, or [age peers] who were theatre people who had already done stuff so they weren't getting Lead Roles or anything but they were getting cast / taking classes / joining an a capella group while i'm like right on, i'm over here with some sort of Grade Honor Society (??) saying my gpa qualifies me to join and be able to experience some further academic rigor/requirements lmfao and i'm like absolutely not. get away lol. anyways so bit of a chaotique Post K12 Zone Education Experience there lmfao, all kinds of things i'd Like to Learn and even take classes on, but didn't like, right i love learning languages but never took classes, love math and shit but only got to a certain level of calc and even then seemed to miss some Lore, never did anything re: theatre, etc and so on. so you wonder if some advantages re: high school would be like, more chances for those extracurriculars (or regular curriculars) but, as though i wouldn't have the same qualms about getting in on any of it, and as if i wouldn't've still hated school but also still been at home, F. and i think people can be a lot more normal to each other when it's college and you're Not stuck in one building together 8 hours a day lmao, got some gentle "occasional Bullying style attention" in middle school, but had juuust enough like, [that Niche of good grades / kid who draws] and people who Were friendlier to me that it was you know, unpleasant, but didn't have to be that huge a deal, and then i was outta there soon enough. also, in college many people are 18 or older, as opposed to 11 to 13. anyways the rest of my school story was that in the end the problems were "i don't know what i want to major in and also now's a worse time than ever b/c i've realized my existence At Home is untenable, and naturally i am quite depressed & stressed about things, and i gotta say absolutely virtually every adult presence was either totally unhelpful to Counterproductive here lmao, like, not much anyone could do really but it's helpful when someone is like, i'll treat you like a person vs simply just going 'uh why are you not doing the academic stuff good enough'" lmfao like. the whole time Not having friends i'd wanna talk to through class and happening to get good grades in part b/c i somehow Could as easily as i did and also i was afraid of getting C's or worse b/c "tfw i wasn't even yet in a grade that gave you A thru F grades yet but my older sister caught shit for getting a C

like :/" and etc means adults are like My Student Is Fine, and also, what are you gonna do even if they aren't, i guess. i just had to figure out completely for myself Why and How i really wasn't Fine and that was quite difficult and also took a long time. then there was a mutual prank of "i drop out of college at the tail end of things" and "now i have to be at home with parent/s more resentful of your obvious Waywardness (insert: not being cishet, and the fact it occurs to me that my being autistic was always causing 'problem' behavior i was getting shit for like, the whole time lmfao, even if nobody knew / labeled it like oh this is for ND reasons, or if it was both true i tried to come out (smh, thought i Had to b/c that was part of Not Being Cishet) and it was simply ignored / unaddressed and yet it sure fueled further specific resentment of my not Performing Gender properly, or "worse," so that went well, in that i eventually abruptly left and did not maintain contact, in the interest of "the levels to which i was thriving was like, that if i bailed and like died 50 hrs later it'd still be what i want to do," true to that i did not / don't regret it. and what do you know, i was first able to bail to a relatively nearby friend from college's home, whose family also liked me lmao. shoutout to school still being where i made Any friends, except a friend i made who was a coworker of several years. and Online Friends, which, another school connection, that like, i can more readily Connect w/people via talking about interests, something that happened Sometimes at school in person lmao but not much, but also that i Talk About Interests in a way through Drawing, which, well shoutout to doodling in the margins of papers throughout school lmfao, it didn't hurt! that's my saga.

oh and that footnote, i also really enjoyed the "in middle school you either take language classes or 4 Electives you rotate through each year" and those electives sure featured some more varied and hands on activities i had a great time with. shoutout to like, cooking, and to shop class, my Car Designs were great apparently, idk how. shoutout to my Intuition re: engineering or something lmaoo.....very fun to just end the schoolday in that big garage space where you could actually open that garage door right to where all the buses were, beautiful. Oh, and that's another footnote, when my last class of the day in 8th grade was english, i'd sometimes finish work early and my teacher would let me go to our spacious library, with the v nice librarian who'd recommend books to me she thought should be checked out more often b/c she knew i liked to read that much, and also just generally had teachers / other adult staff kinda wandering in at the end of the day, talk about "i don't really relate to other ppl my age" where i did generally prefer to be around adults, so that was fun. oh and also shoutout to hating school lmao wherein during like, middle school when the schoolday started at like 7:30am or smthing disgusting and i just learned to like, view whatever time it was in a "at least it's almost [x]" like well okay, first period is math and that kinda sucks but at least once it's over this hardest part of the day will be over, then next class is kinda more chill at least, and then it'll be the last period before lunch, etc etc etc where i could sort of keep up that stamina like telling myself at any point it was Almost [a more encouraging time of day] lmao like. kinda fucked up to have to be dragging yourself through the weekdays like that, but

Oh! goddamn and i didn't even get into that if i ever got in ~trouble~ in elementary school it was stuff like Not Paying Attention, but where half the time that might be some other kid beside me messing around lmfao and i'm not gonna be like "uhhh follow the rules!!!" (and that even when i was In Trouble like go sit in the chair where you have to be quiet there for like 10 min i might say something to some other kid in that zone and they'd be like "um it's the quiet chair you have to be quiet!!" or "uh we're getting into the next lesson and you have to put that book back asap" like wow these other kids are dweebs about Rules lmfao) and there'd just be times like, it's 1st grade and i know how to read pretty well already but we're going over the alphabet like stoppp i know the Phonics already........or the ways ND people can kind of Intuit some stuff more successfully, like in third grade learning multiplication i neverrrrr studied but just broke it down like, okay i remember the Fives b/c of telling time, i know the 2x table and stuff, i know the commutative property, if we're all the way at the 8x and i haven't Memorized stuff, i can still like, break it down to say, [5 x 8] + [8 x 2] or something when i see 8 x 7, even if it takes a second lmfao.......and stuff like the tragedy of when i Did make a friend in like, 2nd grade, who i think we didn't even talk to each other ever?? i was playing legos or smthing by myself once during Indoor Recess and she just started playing agreeably along with me, aka someone socializing on My Terms apparently as our Introduction, and we just were friends past that but one time, not even during a Lesson Session, we were messing around quietly making each other laugh as the incredibly important process of "put papers in your folders" was going on, and since we were Not Paying Attention for some reason the teacher made a whole example of it where i had to carry my desk across the classroom for the Shaming Element of it and also so that i had to permanently sit way further from that friend, so that was kind of discouragement re: interacting at all. thank you to that teacher, who'd later once Gesticulate to me from across the gym that i should put my arms down at my sides rather than being crossed (we were rehearsing some class performance) & i had no idea what she was trying to convey, so afterwards she told me i had to have Reduced Recess Time or some shit because of Ignoring her instead of putting my arms down lmfao. and i was irritated at having been misinterpreted / my Intentions dictated to me and punished like that, but i was also used to it from adults lmfao and did not bother explaining myself lol like yeah god forbid i left my arms crossed on purpose and now i have to read some more during recess. tl;dr school has so much nonsense & i def had some Times re: being autistic & also just being someone who hated school forever lmao, think it was Also 2nd grade where one arbitrary sunday night i just cried out of frustration at having to go back for another normal school week. classic. oh and that also, while i wasn't like "oooo booksmart people who hate not having a Definitive Correct Answer to things &/or ohhh autistic ppl So Good at math, in a way everyone hates and disrespects, but they suck at Literature/Arts which requires you to reflect on humanity and shit," like, not only was i the drawing kid but i was also apparently ahead of the curve as it were at like, Literary Analysis lmfao where there was a few times in elementary school i'd be the kid providing the Interpretation like "what's this poem about / what's the theme or Symbolism in this story," but from elementary school to college it's like, for god's sake don't ask me to come up with a story / work with some really open ended prompt, i don't Invent in that way, and when i try to draw on Inspiration i'll get stuck on some specific source and be unable to do anything but just rip it off really lmao. but then again i was prolific in "it's 1st grade and you write and illustrate a little short story or smthing in these booklets

that we then have a simple little binding process for" like ohhh fancy, i got a tootsie roll lollipop at Awards Time for writing a shit ton of those lol. but that's like, when you're too young to have that much of a Creative Process anyways lmao. but then, my older sister, whose Thing was writing, has an incredible 2 Volume like, noir mystery saga from those elementary school times, it's a classic lmao. anyways once again so much to say about School lol closing the door after meandering on that one for this long lol

April 6th: Are you able to drive? If so, was it difficult to learn? What was difficult about it? If not, do you use any alternatives?

i did learn to drive, tbh just universally it's like, at any point you're driving there's A Lot to pay attention to at once, even if you think you're Good At That or whatever, which i sure don't think i always am lol, and it's pretty wild we just, you know, let everyone go around as fast as they want in machines that can kill you or someone else, and this is also Unnecessary b/c like, let's have accessible & reliable public transit so that everyone can travel without Needing to have a car / someone else who will drive them. i didn't think i had too much trouble learning to drive, but it had to help that i just took it very seriously from the start lmao like, well, i'm quite aware i could kill someone with this. the driving classes i took were alright, i remember the instructor being pretty chill and friendly lol. rip to the fact i could be tense when driving with parent/s, when driving a manual i'd always like screech the tires when accelerating out of a Stop, until all at once it was like "and i'm driving that manual car alone on a road trip & wouldn't you know it, only literally once did i have that issue of not getting out of a stop smoothly enough" lmao like the Anxiety......really like yeah i had an alright time learning and think i'm solid enough at driving / like doing it, theoretically, but Driving Is Wild just in general and let's have that public transit

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

i think i Usually get what people mean with these Devices but i can't really say lol, but anytime you know, someone is being more Implicit in what they say, plenty of times i can infer one implication and only later realize they probably meant a different one, or yknow, i make whatever initial inference i make and can be stuck like "???" and have to like, mentally run diagrams about the interaction lol......meanwhile i'm not always remembering that like, if i'm shifting context mentally that's necessarily able to be inferred by whoever i'm talking to lol, whether it's about getting into some adjacent topic or like, i don't think it tends to be very clear even in person when i've started being sarcastic lmao, like i know that can be true for anyone but it's like well, guess i gotta make it clearer i'm doing a bit......flipside of that or something lmao that people are more Obvious than they think they are sometimes about like, idk, when someone is sort of making some sarcastic remark to you but the sarcasm is also sort of only to themself, aka just like okay i know you mean this more dismissively / disparagingly than re: what you're saying just at face value lol like. just always fun >:/

[tofascinate]

twenty-twenty reflection

The year is 2020. I distinguish this year from the others. And there will be more. There might be many! I want to remember, if ever asked upon myself, that my year of 2020 was distinct from the mash of living. From the accordion of living, perhaps. From the “bellows” of my accordion life, here is my layer of 2020:

January

began with a visit from Kellan, the preparation for a long-anticipated trip to Hong Kong with Rohit. I was living at Momma’s. I had been working for her since I graduated in 2019, while I applied for job positions in cities and graduate programs in Europe and the West Coast.

In January I spent almost 2 weeks in Hong Kong with Rohit and his family. This was a life-changing trip. This was amazing. I felt so taken care of, and each day filled with exploration. And snacks. For the first time, Rohit helped me with Cantonese – every single time I asked, which was a lot, considering my personal goal was to learn as much casual Cantonese as I could while there. I recorded all my new vocabulary and phrases in a list on the plane ride back. Here I met Rohit’s family in their home element, spent an afternoon with Rohit’s mom, accompanied Rohit to friend meetups, and experienced a Chinese New Year family celebration (!!). I hiked the most exhausting and thrilling mountain of my life, called Lantau Peak (the second highest peak in Hong Kong). I felt some of my biases melt on this trip, and some of my interests open up and blossom.

I left Hong Kong as the coronavirus became an issue in the Eastern Asian world. I spent a night in Tokyo, not with Rohit, but with my nourishing airport snacks and exhausted schedule until my flight left the next day for the U.S.

February

In February life moved quickly. I applied to all 4 master’s programs, I had a second interview for a serendipitous job position in Philadelphia (the only job among many that wanted an interview!), I helped Rohit find an apartment in Norwalk, I left Rohit at his apartment in Norwalk, I accepted the job in Philadelphia, I found a place to live in Philadelphia (more magic was to come of that 2-weeks-before-moving FB find), and I moved to Philadelphia!!!

March

My momma helped me move here. To the city I’d never before been to, but in which I was about to find the happiest home. The first 2 weeks of this month were extremely memorable. I worked in the Comcast Technology Center building (a wow) as a LaunchCode teaching assistant for a 12-student, 14-week intro to computer programming and web development intensive course. I took every opportunity to explore the building, the surrounding city. The first week of connection with students was special. The idea of working the rest of the course remotely was ridiculously unlikely.

On March 14th, the pandemic was real. On March 13th, my co-teacher took home the classroom’s bottle of Purell.

My second roommate, Channing, and her kitty Tycho moved in. Deeksha, Channing, Tycho, and I would become a mini family.

We were in quarantine times, but I hadn’t had so much social interaction, peer interaction, freedom, intellectual stimulation, and work to do since the end of college 2019. It was a blessing to be where I was.

April

I will use April to say that I loved this job. It was a pinch-myself moment all the way through. I still sometimes can’t believe that I rose to the responsibilities, leadership, and organization required of me. Maybe it’s like that with new jobs that push you outside of your comfort zone and give you so much room to grow. LaunchCode was an extremely supportive and inspiring company to work for. The community of students (Comcast workers transitioning into future software engineering roles) were admirable and kind in how hard they worked, and how they helped each other.

I realized at this time that I was experiencing the dream I had put intention towards. It’s not always obvious realizing this. In fact, at first I thought I was accepting the job because it was the next best and only option. On the outside I didn’t know how meaningful it would be to me once immersed in it. When things all came together, I realized here I was, in the freedom of living independently from my home nest, in a friendly family of roommates, in a new city to explore, with a working position that supported me financially, allowed me to save for grad school, that opened me up to the computer science industry world, that used my strengths and pushed me to grow, that used my creativity, and that felt like I was being paid to learn.

I am sooooo grateful for serving in this role. It served me tremendously.

Also to be noted, Philadelphia spring. And Tycho the kitty made me love cats more than I thought I could love cats (who are now sometimes allowed to sleep under my blankets too).

May

At some point here, Deeksha, Channing, and I got to be really creative and goofy together. This plus sharing food and Deeksha eating my desserts ♡ ♡ = start of roomie love. Channing’s surprise birthday scavenger hunt.

At some point, I got accepted and not accepted into master’s programs!

And how did it happen that my random roommate’s husband was living and working in Germany following his CS master’s program there? Or that my roommate-friend would eventually move there too?

June

Work program extended by a week = another week of pay = I justify more so staying in Philadelphia longer… and longer… Staying also meant more time in the magical family and incredible bit of life I knew would end eventually. Staying meant not putting my parents at risk, or having to stay inside to keep them from risk.

In June I saw 6 helicopters flying above the city from my rooftop. I filmed them one night and was captured fleetingly in their search light. I stayed home for 6 and 8 pm curfews. I read ideas and information, and observed the panicked passion of my social media a little hesitantly. I spoke with my family. I read more until I felt settled and inspired with the movement of change. I walked around the city. I saw society a little differently; I saw reasons to question how I saw almost everything. 

The Monday after the big weekend, my coworkers asked me and us all how we were doing, if there were protests in our neighborhoods. It was the first time I saw my coworkers as Black. I didn’t know if I was saying the right thing. 

My co-teacher told me I was “lucky” I’d be moving out of the country. I told him I still wanted my home country to be a welcoming place for all. He was not so confident.

And! Rohit visited for a week :). I had fun and we both couldn’t wait to go back to having individual spaces to be ourselves.

July

At one point, with my job ended and Channing in North Carolina for most of the month, I was met with the pressure of everything I could do in the calm before the storm of change, and everything I wasn’t doing. A little rough. Oh to be leaving a place that has already been leaving you.

August

I moved in with Rohit in Norwalk! Took all my Philadelphia belongings in a car with not-friends Deeksha and Channing, and drove (Channing drove) to Norwalk. I was so grateful to them for that trip. We got a glimpse of the no-parking beaches. Specifically, we parked for 15 minutes in the “15 Minute Parking ONLY” spot by the beach at cotton candy sunset while Deeksha and I ran to the warm water and the two of us dove in like happy water pups and not 23- to 30-year-olds. Next day was a rockier beach and I’m still wishing Channing her next sunny beach day. This month was fun and without-a-car adventurous, though the airbnb-turned-rented-apartment that was actually’s Rohit’s didn’t quite feel like my settling in home. My daily purpose was working for my mom again and preparing for my master’s program.

I loved running so much with Rohit.

I did not love figuring out how to acquire a car to stay in Rochester for a month. Haha (thinking about tears). But we did it! And then we packed too many of my things into the car with Rohit’s things and drove 6 hours to Rochester, NY. 

September

I think we each ran longer distances than we had run before along the river trail in Rochester. We were a little outdoorsy. We had an ample supply of local Chinese bakery goods (that reminded me of Hong Kong bakery items). There was sun, but not in the apartment. By the way, this apartment was a miraculous coincidence from one of Rohit’s (very tidy and kind) friends who hadn’t been living there for months but would have to move out at the end of October. So we could pay him rent!

Also surprise to AriaRay’s patience, calm, and going with the flow acceptance: as a bonus level to the desperately declared plan of packing ahead of time to avoid the overwhelming stress of the previous move, Rohit and I learned we would also be cleaning and clearing out our friend’s apartment first! 

In the end, I had to accept that it was Rohit’s leading responsibility. Whatever we could do would make the experience easier for our absent friend. We moved out and found donation homes for almost everything. We did it! 5 pm and out the door to Burlington! (Extra exclamation points for whirlwind desperation and relief.)

October

I spent my last day with Rohit in Burlington. Burlington was love. And glorious fall.

I packed for Germany, I found a place to live in Germany, I boarded a plane to Germany. I got on the plane to Germany and went to sleep in Germany and thought, “Haha, isn’t it funny that I’m in Germany? Who thought of Germany?”

A new country and a new day to day life! I was grateful to be finally there and in awe that I had gotten to this point. My childhood self said, “when I’m 23, I’ll be in Europe.” Well, here I am.

We’re still in a pandemic. Meaning my classes are online and my traveling is cautiously limited to grocery store treks and to walks or bus rides around the city.

I have 3 very nice (and extraordinarily clean??) roommates from Ukraine, Russia, Iraq. All studying. One speaks better German than English, which is sometimes amusing as I really do want to have a conversation with her anyway.

Birthday, Halloween. But sometimes I forget and think my last birthday was in 2019. Blurry.

November

Hmmm studying. It still feels unprocessed to reflect on this. My master’s program can be considered a computational linguistics degree, formally called “Language Science and Technology M.Sc.” because to be more specific, this degree covers broader areas of computer science for language, and linguistics for computer science, than only computational linguistics. 

I do love the subject. It is by far a synthesis of my linguistics and cs interests. I’m learning a little more than what my focus for here initially has been. Is this a good thing? Maybe a nice cushion of knowledge and perspective. Still looking for how to study and process spoken language, how to relate this to second language acquisition. 

I think I get it. My core lectures right now are foundations for this field. I will leap from them into my specific field of interest. My software project is a learning ground for tools and seeds for future ideas, practice with coding group projects again. My seminars are for thinking, reading, discussing, weaving ideas, hearing from others seasoned in the topics and those of my peers investing their newfound or nurtured interests. Three more semesters.

Where will I be next?

I think I should mention one Thanksgiving meal that we cooked for, and shared with the additional guests of Olha’s partner Gaston and his roommate...with a name I can’t place now...from Morocco. This was a widely, uniquely fun night.

December

Hello cozy holidays, the first, by myself. My roommates and I decorated a tree from our local grocery store. I made cookies and cards, sent 14 gold letters. I spent hours decorating and felt creatively festive. ‘Tis the season :). Hoping everyone can feel the love I’m sending. 

Surprises came after small gifts appeared from each roommate to each other. Olha made us all Christmas gift bags of gingerbread cookies. I strung a decorated card on the tree for each roommate and shared cookies and oranges. Uliana wrapped Russian tea and a scented candle in parchment paper, leftover gold glittered tree ribbon, and a holiday clothespin. She wrote “Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!” in each of our languages: Russian (well, not Ukrainian), English, German. Zhenas gave us each a gift bag of treats. So, there has been magic in my apartment this season.

Happy New Year, and thank you 2020, for all the joy, discoveries, and change you have brought me. Here’s to love in 2021.

♡ 

[purplesurveys]

816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse​ is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita.  10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

[sweet-cool-twins]

Thank you Inazuma Eleven & GO

Hey everyone, I do have an important thing I need to share regarding my absence both back in 2014 and 2019. Mostly 2019 after I uploaded my Raimon Junior High Chapter 4. I know people expect a chapter update on my Raimon Jr High fanfic, I’m sorry to disappoint on that. 

I haven't been feeling mentally well since 2019 cause I realised that it had been 9 years (back in 2019) since I joined IE and those times were the best days of my life. I got to show my creative side, my love for an anime, and made so many friends on FF.net and here. I was basically the happiest those times. Every break in school I had, on the bus ride home, or even resting at home, I would be thinking about new ideas for stories, or writing them in my phone notes, or just reading IE fanfics.

All those were lost when I went into high school (basically college in my country) and had projects with deadlines to complete which took up majority of my time due to my then pre-formed anxiety issue of not hitting deadlines. Then 2019 came and Idk how I came back to IE (i guess I wanted to watch Kusaka x Morimura, not too sure what happened really), I watched the last Galaxy episode and heard Ten Made Todoke! which is the GO first season opening song which is basically a nostalgia song for me, not just my preference, the tune and music itself would bring up some sort of nostalgia to everybody to be honest. And then they bought back Tenma's dribbles which was the skill Tenma showcased in the first GO season (Holy Road) but slowly lost it when he became captain and Chrono Stone season onwards as he matured as a captain.

Then I felt very mad and depressed cause I knew I lost all my creativeness and writer's sense (if that's what you call it?). I used to be able to picture how the characters would act in certain situations, how they speak (which are quite on-point judging by a review or message from a reader who I could not find the username, such a lovely person!), and these would just flow out of me as I sit in front of my laptop and type in docs page back then. The grammar and writing style was very childish and painfully cringy, but I had a lot of fun writing and it gave me a lot of hope and happiness just from reading the 3-5 reviews from readers (Bless u guys for favouriting, following, and reviewing my stories!).

Still, I sort of pushed myself to publish this Raimon Junior High fanfic as I was forcing myself to get back all the skills I had lost before I came back in 2019. Each time I review my drafts, I'm completely stumped and shocked by some of the phrases I'd used, even some of the conversations don't make sense to me anymore (and I know my past self's character's speech patterns are on-point as stated in the previous paragraph). My brain couldn't even think of those phrases and convos when I was writing this fic. So the depression, stress, feelings of loss, all lead me to slowly delay the update of this fic to practically leaving it hanging. It irks me by the way, to leave it like this. I just couldn't take it anymore and I guess the easiest way was to leave it.

Then my younger brother (I don't know if anyone knows this but yes I do have 1 sibling) and his girlfriend were watching Cells at Work! anime on Netflix and the main white blood cell voice actor is the same voice actor for Tsurugi Yuuichi in GO. Hearing him made me recall back the times I searched about the voice actor due to his singing capabilities (his singing was kyaaaaa (long time no type that lol) in the Onaji Yume Wo Miteru Tsurugi brothers character song) and also 'cause IE GO basically blew up many voice actors' fanbase as it was a pretty popular anime in Japan. So I checked back on IE GO again to hear his 2011 voice and sort of hear his improvements as a voice actor. I knew I was going to feel all the sadness and loss again upon hearing the GO first opening again (which it did), worse the Tsurugi brothers arc made me legitimately cry cause I sort of related to Yuuichi in a way better than when I was in middle school.

The feeling of happiness in the past and having to leave it for 6+ years until the present, to then realise you are probably too old to continue persuing the thing which you love back then (because to start to be a professional sports player, you have to be young like before 22 years old young, at least that's what I've heard of.) and the fact that you have to relearn everything which takes pretty much a long damn time, and even more if you want to do so professionally, is gonna eat up the years you have to pursue the job. This thought hit me so hard that I had a mental breakdown. Their character song (as I said I got back to IE GO and started relistening to the character songs which I've never heard in a lonnnnng time for Yuuichi's voice) added this depression even more. The first line by Tsurugi Kyousuke, "We always used to run together, chasing after a ball..." and the image of the two brothers flashed in my mind would break me to pieces as it was a happy moment for Yuuichi and it reminded me of my happy days here, although now he's stuck in the present with a disability similar to me being stuck with my depression and loss writer sense.

Which lead to me typing this long text out. I've reviewed the existing drafts of Raimon Jr High (they weren't automatically removed yet as 1 year hasn't passed since I updated on FF.net) and just felt I should just end this fic in a way with a plot plan at least because I know the me right now probably could not finish this fic. Please kindly read it and imagine the scenes you could possibly think of for the chapters. When I do get better, I want to edit some of the drafts to whichever chapter I am most confident in completing. The fic itself is following the GO season (1-20), then Chrono Stone (21-30), then Galaxy (31-50). I won't do Galaxy (i will explain in detail in the Galaxy Rant portion in a separate post) as I left the fandom during that time and aren't as close to the characters compared to the previous 2 seasons (to say it nicely).

I want to say, thanks if any of you read this till the end. I really appreciate it. It really irks me to leave this (or any) story hanging, yet I want to at least give a reason why, the process of it happening, and the fic plans for each chapter so you guys at least know roughly how Raimon Jr High fanfic would have ended. I'm still trying to find myself and love myself again like back then. Therapy is terribly slow and sometimes I feel better after a therapy, and then I encounter another negative thing in my life and feel all this sadness all over again (especially any past regarding IE). I dearly wish I could go back to the past yet time doesn't allow that and you have to move on. I don't know what to make of the future. I don't know if I will ever get better. I do hope what when I do get better and gain back the creativeness, I would have the time to continue this fic until the Chrono Stone 'season' ends as that was my main motivation for writing this fic. I do wish all of you the best and all the happiness in the world cause we all deserve it, even if you think you're normal or average. Cause I am average and aren't as happy as I was, and I deeply wish I could feel that happiness again. Thank you guys again! Hontou ni arigatou! (Long time no type that too lol)

[saltybaltic]

SALTYBALTIC 1K CELEBRATION!!!

🎉 🍾 🎊 🎈 🎂 🍻 🎁 💖 🥂

Firstly WOW. I am both touched and gobsmacked in equal measure. When I started posting these fics I mean ... I expected them to get read by a few people but it was more of a self indulgent thing than anything else. And the response and love and support has just been overwhelming. So without getting too soppy about it, thank you so much for all your kind words and the reblogs and messages and your requests that, let’s be honest, is what’s made it possible to get to this point.

So I decided since I’ve literally not been able to write something that wasn’t a request or a writing challenge recently, I’m gonna be writing a few short pieces if you guys want them, using the prompts below. Just drop one in my ask box.

There are no real ‘rules’ I guess but obviously I’ll only be writing for who I’ve written for before which is Natasha Romanoff X Reader or Natasha Romanoff X Carol Danvers. Just send in which prompt you want, who you want it for, and if you have a vague idea for what you’re wanting (fluffy, angst, plz don’t make me write angst I am too soft and sensitive for it smut, softness, a trope etc etc). Only one request will be done per prompt and I’ll mark them off as I get them!

I’m taking requests frooommmm RIGHT NOW, for the next FIFTEEN HOURS. And I’ll be writing from tomorrow morning until 5pm GMT. I’ll try and work through as many as I can, plz reblog this post if you wanna spread the word. And don’t be shy, I’m happy to hear from any and all of you! Special mention has to go to @lesbian-deadpool for being the MVP and not only helping me with this list, but also helping me with the final push to 1K

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again to all of you. Peace and love to all ✌️❤️

REQUESTS ON HOLD DUE TO A FUCKING OVERWHELMING DEMAND

lmao I dunno what I was expecting but it wasn’t this. This celebration is gonna take a while ...

-//-

1. “Realistically, how hard would it be to get you to just have sex with me right now?”

2. “I’m a better person when I’m with you.”

3. “That is the exact opposite of what I told you to do.”

4. “I didn’t say you could stop kissing me.”

5. “Who said she had feelings for me?!”

6. “Ew gross, there’s blood on this.”

7. “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

8. “We both know you want this to be more than it is.”

“And we both know that’s only because you’re too scared to let it be more.”

9. “You know I’ve been told I have pretty warm hands. If you wanted me to warm you up.”

10. “That’s not fair! You can’t say things like that when I’m in the middle of hating you.”

11. “Just once it would be nice to go out for dinner and not nearly die.”

12. “You really are hard work, you know that?”

13. “Call me crazy but it’s kind of hard to get turned on with a gun in my face.”

“Depends on who’s holding the gun.”

14. “What do you mean you want to be with me? I’m clearly a unstable.”

15. “Would you rather be stabbed or shot?”

“Why are those the only two options?”

16. “What if we snuck out for like five minutes so I could make out with you in that closet back there?”

17. “Did you just do an evil villain laugh?”

18. “Just so you know, I don’t think it’s ever not weird to turn up at someone’s apartment in the middle of the night with a gun shot wound.”

19. “Do you really even love me?”

20. “If you ever breathe a word of this to anyone then I’ll be forced to kill you.”

21. “I’m trying not to lose my temper so I really need you to get your hands off me.”

22. “I don’t usually go looking for trouble but I do enjoy getting into it with you.”

23. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll be forced to kiss you.”

24. “I’m gonna give you one chance to rephrase that.”

25. “If you were really sorry you’d take your shirt off.”

26. “It’s okay, I don’t need you to.”

“I want to.”

27. “I demand to be a part of whatever revenge you’re plotting.”

28. “I’m a bad person and that’s never going to change.”

“You cant honestly believe that?”

29. “You’ve got 64 seconds to explain what you’re doing here?”

“What? Why 64?”

“63, 62 ...”

30. “Honey, please don’t cry.”

31. “Never heard of that being used as a weapon before.”

32. “Do you trust me?”

“For some reason I do, yeah.”

33. “But we’re just good friends.”

“You had sex three days ago!”

34. “I love you but sometimes I feel like I don’t even know you.”

35. “If you don’t tell me the truth right now then this is over.”

36. “I seem to have completely misread the situation.”

37. “You got a little something for me?”

38. “Are you kidding me? We are not ‘fine’.”

39. “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”

40. “Let me take care of you.”

41. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this again.”

42. “I never want to hear you say that to me again.”

43. “Why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”

44. “Stop hesitating and kiss me.”

45. “I need you.”

“Do you really?”

46. “When did you become so clever?”

“When I stopped listening to you.”

47. “God how do you make that sound so sexy?”

48. “You ever kissed anyone in the rain before?”

“No, my life is more of a disaster movie than a romantic-comedy.”

49. “No matter how hard I try, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night.”

50. “Are you actually insane or just stupid?”

“At this point it could be both.”

51. “I will give you something to truly be terrified of.”

“I’ve already seen the Cats trailer, (Name). What more could there be?”

52. “What do we do?”

”Cry.”

53. “Why does peanut butter taste like it does?”

54. *Looks into the camera like The Office* “What the fuck are you looking at?!”

55. “What goddess bestowed this beauty upon you?”

56. “Why are you doing this?”

57. “You’re killing me. You know you’re killing me?”

58. “Why am I in the hospital?”

“You jumped in front of a bus.”

“Oh, okay... no, wait, wHAT?!”

59. “Do you wanna go get a coffee?”

“As long as ‘coffee’ is a euphemism.”

60. “(Name), what are your dreams?”

“Well I would say world domination but that seems to realistic to be a dream.”

61. “I’m so happy I wanna choke!”

62. “I think we should see other people.”

63. “Ooo, someone’s pissy.”

64. “I can’t hear you, I’m angrily chopping vegetables.”

65. “I don’t know. I was just along for the mentally exhausting ride.”

66. “I have had it up to here with your sarcasm!”

“You don't even have it up to there in height.”

67. “Will you be the Bert to my Ernie?”

68. “I’m way too tired to have sex with you.”

69. “You really need to cut down on the coffee.” *Visibility vibrating.*

70. “I love you.”

“Gay.”

[rich50g-blog]

Starting anew

Hi i am Richard i was married for over 30 years to a non loving woman, a month ago i decided to find a loving woman for the rest of my life. I am 67 so maybe not impossible thing to accomplish but will be difficult to find someone who would love an old man, I am not wealthy by any means i will tell why that matters later, I also moved to Kingwood Texas i worked here 30 years ago and loved all the trees and trails for biking and walking. New apartment took me a while to get settled in, when i first got here i started having some problems with my left knee and hip, my hip was pain my knee was weakness so much so if i put all my weight on it i would fall down, I know how to fall from past experiences with weak ankles, i mostly scrape a knee nothing too serious. So I have also signed up for several dating sights some are worthless some are ok, some attract scammers who love old guys to try and weasel money from them, that happened to me 8 times before i stopped using the site., then i tried Zoosk, and was attracting all the wrong woman i thought, mostly gray haired old sad ladies, I realize i am old gray haired old sad man but thought i could get someone a little younger and intelligent. i next joined Anastasia-date, mostly Ukraine with some Russian ladies thrown in, most liked my age and my pictures, so that worked out pretty well, i would do a search for a particular city, and height of the lady, nothing else was added, I am 6′2″ so liked taller ladies 5′8 and up. that was easy there are a lot of tall slavis women, then after a couple of chats i learned to search ladies with no kids, I have had my kids did not need anymore, i also looked for ladies over 35 because the ones under that all wanted babies or family. I have two grown daughters and after my youngest was born i had not one but two Vasectomy’s which was fun no. hehe So my search contained height, no kids, over 35, and i added different levels of English, I found out Intermediate was not good either the ladies did not understand a word i said or typed, they had to use a translator program so then i would add Advanced or fluent to my search, the advanced ladies knew moer English and understood me pretty much. So the only problem i noticed with the women here was the men there, every one mentioned how selfish the men were there and only wanted sex and no relationship, So i was getting more and more information into what these ladies wanted in a man and not wanted. So I fit my profile to feel their wants and needs, Wow I started to get some beautiful, intelligent women who preferred older men, they trust them not to be selfish, and conceded like most not all slavic men. I will not put all of the men there in the category but a lot are, some examples a pretty 30 year old lady with 3 kids from Odessa Ukraine, I mean she is gorgeous, intelligent and dumped by her husband who found a much younger woman, She raised 3 kids so far by herself for 10 years because her husband did not want the responsibility to bother him. What a loser and he has not seen his kids since he left with new girlfriend, ok anyway she is very nice and pretty but finding a lady with 3 kids was not my idea of life, so i told her goodbye, sorry i have to have somethings about the ladies taht i can live with. that was not one of them,  you won’t believe the next one, who was a stewardess living in Odessa, what a crazy bitch oh my, oh yea there is something called video chat, not all ladies have it, but this one did, she was pretty and tall ok and she was 30 with not kids again ok. She started stripping I mean to nothing, and playing with herself i was not prodding her to do anything my mouth was open in awe of what was happening, by the way video chat is very expensive. Next this crazy woman starts to talk about her mother, I go ok as she talks more and more about her telling me how pretty she is and stuff, again i know i should have left the chat but i wanted to see what this woman was going to do next, well next made me sick, this whole entire time she was setting me up to have sex with her and her mother, my gosh sorry that is sick to me, so now i have had enough I closed the video chat and blocked her from contacting me again, One thing i was starting to find out was none of the ladies i had talked to wanted to or thought of leaving the site, they said they felt safe, but me thinks that the site programmed them to never leave, because site only makes money if they get men to chat with them, So none of the ladies even mention it when i ask they change the subject. The thing is i came to figure out is this site and most of them do not want the people to ever meet, they make it so hard to meet it is almost impossible too, the women do not realize this or if they do afraid to leave the site because they live in old communist state and they were told to do everything and obey without question. That is why anytime i would ask a lady to leave this site to like Google Hangouts they would say maybe later i still have not made enough money on you yet haha here is another thing all chats are monitored and if you were to type the name of a free site the monitor would dot out what you typed. Again they do not want the girls to meet anyone they lose money if that happens., So I still talk to a couple of ladies just to chat and see how life in their country is.Most of them are still bad, but flights to Europe are opening up. Ukraine still has civil war going on and no body can fly there for obvious reasons they shoot down airliners. for the ladies to get to the area they have to take a bus to Kiev and fly from there, riding the bus through a bad area. So it is not easy, because of Covid I would talk to many ladies because the chance of visiting them was almost impossible because of borders closed.. Ok moving on i had two MRI’s last week and i was given a appointment with a neurosurgeon, they told me i have degenerative disc disease in spin lumbar causing pressure on nerves and spinal stenosis, but i did not understand it could be surgery or physical therapy and med . we will see. Ok while i was looking at the Europe dating site I had found the Asian one mostly Chinese women who are all very beautiful and good wife's they also think older men are better because the young ones they cannot trust, this site is owned and operated by the Europe one with same features, I found here that most of the ladies here do not want babies over 35, so again my search criteria consisted of over 35 at first but i changed that later for another reason. I would also in search add wealthy or rich, just to see how many women turned up,  hundreds of not thousands of ladies starting from 19 on up. and again they are looking hard for old guys they can trust. Most were business owners from very rich families. originally i was not in this for money but i got to think why not i am on SSN and a small Pension so heck yes. ok I first got a letter from woman 1 on July 9th, two days later her sister wrote one. Shes lady 2. lady number 1′s letter said she was a banker wanting to invest in the U S and moving their business here, yea what are the odds right? Well  when i got her sisters lady number 2 who told me their family where heirs to the Qing Dynasty, i  did my research and found that their family is one of the oldest and riches family in China. So wow, this is the arrangement the sisters wanted to make with me, I would marry one of them and the other would be my concubine. What the heck? So now i have to chose between a gorgeous 27 year old or the other sister a beautiful 19 year old, who are promising to fly here in private jet. ,Oh yea i have set up a call to the girls next week and supposed to talk with Dad as well. No pressure right? Now i am getting a little nervous the girls are telling me that their father wants me to take over the family, because Dad wants to retire,I was a manager and engineer for ATT for over 30 years but this would be managing the wealthiest family business in China. Yes it is getting very real now, oh yes on the dating site on my search for rich or wealthy or business owners thousands of ladies profiles appeared I talked to some but very immature would in first chat say they have loved me all of their life, this was common with most of them i talked too, The younger sister is cute but i can tell is very immature so chances are i am going to chose the older sister who owns several banks, and wants to move her business to the U S which allows me to live where i want too, my choice is San Diego, i grew up there and love it there, by the beach both girls seem excited about that.Well its 5 in the morning my hip will not let me sleep but i am going to try again, night all till tomorrow for more Richie