#i got sleep and a break from my insane child yesterday

[sassenach082]

listen I need this writer's block to be banished so I will be answering these prompts (finally) and hoping that kicks my writer's block in the butt

[spacebaby1]

hiyaaa

Can I ask Rindou's reaction to the fact that his partner is expecting his child?

and for more drama (I'm a dramatic girl and I love drama) you could have Rindou's partner hide the situation from him

drama, angst but happy ending 😝

Hiii! Bestie, I got you! One thing about me is that I live for drama in writing 🎀😌🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 let's start!

You and Rindou never had an argument because he always listened to you, but that didn't last long. You couldn't even remember what escalated the whole conversation into an argument, which led to Rindou slamming the door behind him as he left you'd house last night. The whole night you couldn't sleep not until the sun was out and your eyes gave up from all the crying; you weren't even sure why you were feeling emotional usually it's hard to make you cry. Anyways, you fell asleep around the early hours of the day after shutting your phone completely.

All the crying tired your body to no end that you ended up sleeping until late afternoon. Around four in the afternoon you woke up with a painful headache and aching in your abdomen and before you could grab your phone you felt your stomach turned and you ran to the bathroom, throwing up for a good half an hour before you sat on the bathroom floor.

The memories of yesterday's argument came rushing to you after you were back in your room sitting on your bed with your head in your hands. You weren't feeling well at all and thought the argument took a toll on you so bad that you were about to get sick. You didn't question the vomiting because it was how you'd react if you had a heated argument; it was natural body response to you. Finally, picking up your phone, you turned it on only for Rindou's texts. Fill your screen, followed by numerous of missed calls:

My love: Baby are you okay?

Look, I'm really sorry for shouting at you. I just lost control. But it wasn't your fault. It was me. Please forgive me?

My love:Darling? Can I call you?

*missed call*

*missed call*

My love: baby please answer me, at least end the ringing so I'll know you can see my calls.

My love: I'm so soo sooo sorry

My love: I can't sleep after I made you upset, I'm an idiot! I wish I can hold you right now...

My love: Are you sleeping, sweetie? Good night, my beautiful baby.

12:23 P.M

My love: baby? Sweetheart? Please text back.

My love: at least tell me you're not hurt I'm fucking going insane!

My love: y/n! Baby, I'm sorry!

3:50 P.M

My love: I'm worried about you angel, text me! It's not your usual self to sleep this much.

My love: Can I come by? I'm sorry baby, please don't give me the silent treatment. I'm so sorry, and i would apologize a thousand times if it means you'll forgive me the thousandth time."

He must've seen you reading the texts, and before you could reply, he called you. You sighed and answered, "Baby? Baby, are you okay?" You heard his tired voice. It wasn't until you answered that you realised how sore your throat was, "hi," it came out almost as a whisper before your cough holding the phone away a bit. Rindou panicked at the sound of your tired voice and coughing, "I'm coming over-"

"No, please not now," you replied in a low voice, "I'm not feeling well, just-just- I nee-" you were crying again, he heard you snuffling. "D-dont cry," now he was crying, You shook your head as if he could see you, "I'm so sorry, I hurt you. "I'm so sorry and i would apologize a thousand times if it means you'll forgive me the thousandth time. Just let me see you."

"Please, Rindou. I need space."

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" He asked with a shaking voice. "No, Rin, I just need to be alone now." You heard his little sigh, "Okay, baby. Did you just wake up? You sound tired, let me order you some food-"

"No, Rin. I can-"

"No, please. At least let me do what I'm supposed to do as your boyfriend. Let me take care of you?" He sounded defeated, but you loved how he always took care of you No matter where he was. "Okay, I love you." You could almost hear his smile when you said that, "I love you more baby, call me if you need anything." You hung up and rubbed your forehead. The next two days were blurry because of how exhausted and sick you were. Usually, you'd let the fever go away, but it kept getting worse to the point that you couldn't put food down in your stomach.

On the third day you decided to visit the doctors and run some blood test to make sure it isn't anything serious and you wish it wasn't what you heard. "Miss Y/n? The blood test shows that everything is fine, just a slight changes in BP but it's normal at this stage."

"Huh? What do you mean at this stage?" You asked the doctor, and she looked at you confused then back at the chart that she was holding. "The pregnancy, you are three months pregnant, Y/n. Did you not know that?" Your eyes widened, and you could barely hear anything after that. Suddenly, it hit you. You were late, and you've been feeling so much different.

"I'm pregnant? Three mo-month?" You whispered more to yourself than a question to your doctor. The doctor nodded, "it explains that vomiting and the abdominal pain, are you okay?"

You got up, " Can you do an ultrasound? Can i see it?"

The doctor nodded, "Sure, if you'd want to."

You almost cried when you saw the screen of your ultrasound, "This is the baby." She pointed at the screen, and you smiled, forgetting the whole world the moment you saw your baby, "do you want the prints?" You nodded, whipping your happy tears away. It wasn't until you got home and saw the picture of you and Rindou on your phone screen is when your smile dropped; Rindou will not take the news well, you thought to yourself and you thought you were doing a good job at avoiding his texts and calls; it was a bad idea because he only grew more concerned about your relationship.

It was another day of you feeling absolutely horrible and vomiting all morning until your stomach was in knots. You heard the frantic bell ringing, followed by knocking on the front door. Groaning you got up holding your stomach with one hand as to you made your way towards the front door without asking who it was you opend the door slowly only to find Rindou standing there with tired eyes and looking panicked. He immediately gathered you in his arms making you yelp in surprise of how hard he was holding you; one of his hands on the back of your head and the other hilding you by the shoulder, "how could you avoid me for two weeks? I'm going insane thinking about you, baby. Why do you hate me so much? Fuck! I missed you." You gasped for air, "Ri, you are c-cruching me, I'm in pain-" He immediately let go and you almost fell on the ground passing out but he held you to his chest as you caught your breath, "you gonna crush me to death?" You asked in a low voice and groaned in pain holding your stomach. "Did I hurt you? I am so sorry, baby." He picked you up bridle style and headed towards your room, carefully placing you on your bed before sitting beside you and checking your forehead, "baby? You're burning." You shook your head, holding his hand in yours, "it's nothing, just an upset stomach. W-what are you doing here?" You asked, feeling yourself drifting to sleep. He sat on the floor next to the bed, kissed your hand, "you haven't text back for two weeks. I was worried, and you're sick yet you didn't call me?"

You shook your head, "I went to the doctors, it's nothing just a stomachache, it'll go by it's own." Rindou shook his head, "No, let me take care of you, do you wanna eat something?"

"I can't, I'll throw up, and it only hurt my stomach more, I just need to lay down." You said almost in a whisper before eventually falling back asleep, still holding Rindou's hands. "My baby," he kissed your forehead before running to get some cold cloth and place it on your forehead. Since you were sleeping, he decided to tide up your vanity a bit since you couldn't do it, and he noticed your things everywhere.

Rindou picked your make-up and placed them to the side, then your accessories which he put away in the box, and he grabbed your other things and opend the drawer to put them away only to find the ultrasound prints next to the results. His heart started beating fast as he took the picture in hand, eyes wide open he read it again and again making sure what he was looking at was indeed a baby and the test had your name on it. You were pregnant, and he felt his eyes blurred when he saw the date; it was a two and half week old test. He could hold back his sobs as he looked at the ultrasound prints. He was trying not to wake you up with his sobbing and he was shaking so hard that he had to sit down on the floor because he didn't trust his knees to hold him standing; he's gonna be a father? Did you even want the baby? Why didn't you tell him?

He sobbed for an hour before making his way towards you and softly kissing your forehead which made you wake up, and you blinked at him. He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand with tears falling from his eyes which made you immediately sit on your bed, "Rinny? Wh-why are you crying? What's wrong?" You cupped his puffy face in your weak hands as your eyes met with his hand holding the ultrasound prints in his hands as more tears fell from his beautiful eyes, "Why didn't you tell me? I'm I not en-" you hugged him closer feeling yourself about to cry, "Don't say that, please." You whispered and he hugged you.

You both stayed like that for minutes and on until Rindou whipped his tears and sat beside you on the bed, with you covered with the blanket and head resting on his chest while he couldn't stop smiling at the picture of your baby. "I'm sorry I wasn’t there for this." You shook your head cuddling closer, "you seem happy." He looked down at you and wrapped his arms around you, "I'm gonna be a dad, of course I'm happy. I can't believe it. I'm gonna be a dad. There's gonna be a mini version of our love? I hope it's a girl, then she'll look as beautiful as you. Did you check? Is it a girl? Or boy?"

You chuckled at his excitement, "No, I didn't. I was just terrified and happy to see the baby." He hugged you closer, "you don't need to be terrified. We'll be great, Mama and dada. I promise."

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Deadly Proposal: Part Five

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.5k

Warnings: angst, drug use (cocaine), heartbreak

Summary: Amber takes it a step too far when she throws a party at Dean's house. She crosses a line completely when she reverts back to her old self, and you are done breaking your back for her.

Deadly Proposal Masterlist

Square Filled: force feeding for @badthingshappenbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

The fight with your sister and Dean made it so you couldn’t sleep well last night. You slide out of bed, throw on something to wear that’s semi-appropriate, and head down to the kitchen. You’re not expecting to see anyone but Sonja, so you’re surprised when Amber is sitting at the kitchen island. She gives you a side glance but doesn’t say anything to you.

“I thought you were leaving.”

“I know you want me gone but my boyfriend didn't show.”

“I never said I wanted you gone,” you sigh. “I was frustrated yesterday, and I said something I didn’t mean. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever,” she shrugs. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

You sit at the kitchen counter and turn to her.

“Why don’t you and I go into town today and look for jobs? You said you were going to try.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do that later.”

“You need to do it sooner rather than later. Dean only gave you a week here.”

“What are you, my mom?” she scoffs.

She leaves her untouched food on the counter and storms to her room. Your shoulders sag in defeat but you don’t dwell for long. Sonja takes her food away and sets a plate in front of you with a kind smile on her face.

“Thanks, Sonja.”

As you eat, you think about Dean and your fight. Was it a fight? You know you’re not supposed to feel anything for him since you’re just a blood bag for him but the more he drinks from you, the more you crave him. Not just him, but his time and attention as well. You want to know so much about him but he doesn’t give you much to work with. He’s so mysterious and it’s driving you insane.

The thing with Amara isn’t sitting well with you either. You hated how jealous you got when she came over. She’s so beautiful, and may or may not have been involved with Dean. You subconsciously touch the wounds on your neck that have mostly healed. What did she mean when she said your blood was special? She said that she’d never smell anything like it, but doesn’t she smell blood all the time? No, that was carnal behavior. Dean talked to her but you’re not sure what he said to her. Does he even care?

No, screw this. You’re not going to sit here and continue to wonder. You’re going to get answers now. After you’re done eating, you walk upstairs to where Dean’s office is. Your hand hovers over the doorknob as doubt begins to creep inside your mind. Would he give you the time of day? Would he send you to your room like a petulant child?

“I can hear you breathing, you know,” Dean says from inside.

It’s now or never. You open the door and walk inside. Dean is sitting at his desk typing quickly on his laptop.

“What are you doing?”

“Nosy much?” he smirks.

“I can’t help it.” You shrug. “I’m bored and you’re not paying attention to me.”

Dean chuckles and leans back in his chair to give you his undivided attention.

“If you must know, I’m working.”

“You have a job?” you gasp in a teasing tone.

Dean shakes his head with a smile he can’t resist. “Yes.”

“What is it you do?”

“Nothing you need to know about.”

You walk over to his desk, sit across from him, and cross your legs.

“Do you realize you’re always brooding or does it come naturally to you?” Dean rolls his eyes and continues typing. “So, where’s your brother? I’m assuming you have one, right?”

“Are we doing this right now?”

“Fine.” You pause. “Do you have any parents?” He doesn’t reply. “I’m going to keep asking you questions until you answer.”

“Fine.” Dean groans and pushes his laptop away to pay attention to you. “You have five minutes. Go.”

“How old are you?”

“Over half a millennium. Seven hundred and sixty-two years if you want to get specific.”

“How did you become a vampire?”

“I was working a hunt when I was human. Vampires. They got to me before I could get to them. I’ll spare you the bloody details.”

“What do you do for work?”

“I help women escape their abusers.”

You’re taken aback. You did not expect that to come from him. You want to know more but then you’d use up your five minutes and you need to more about him.

“You made it sound like you had a family. Any siblings?”

“Dead.”

“Parents?”

“Dead.”

“Are all your friends dead, too?” Dean cracks a smile and looks away to try and hide it. Your smile fades slowly. “Are you going to kill me when you’re done with me?”

“No.”

“Why me? Why take me out of everyone you could have taken?”

“I already told you.”

“Yeah, my ‘special blood’,” you scoff. “What does that mean? Amara said I had special blood, too. What makes me special?”

“You remind me of someone I used to know. She had the same blood you did. In fact, you two are more similar than I’d care to admit. Maybe I don’t want to be alone anymore. Maybe she was the best thing to have happened to me in a long time, and I want to have that again.” Your mouth goes agape as you try and process his words. He clears his throat and pulls his laptop closer to him. “Times up. Now get out and let me work.”

That’s more than you thought you’d get so you won’t complain. You get up as he continues typing, and you walk to the door slowly. You look back at him but he doesn’t spare you another glance. Since you don’t want to see Amber and Dean doesn’t want to hang with you, you decide to hang out in your room for the next few hours either reading, playing video games, or browsing Amazon for new stuff for your room.

It’s nearing dinner time so you get out of bed to see what Sonja has made. When you open the door, you hear music blasting from downstairs and commotion that sounds like chatter coming from a huge crowd. You take the stairs down two at a time to see people filing into Dean’s house. Strangers who are already inside hold red cups filled with God only knows what. This is a party. Dean would never throw a party and you didn’t, and there is only one person here that would.

You push past everyone to get to the living room where Amber is sitting on the couch with two nasty-looking men. Unkempt hair, dirty clothes, and yellow nails.

“Amber! What the hell are you doing?!”

“It’s a party!” she grins. “I was bored of staying in this house with nothing to do.”

“Fuck, Amber! This isn’t your house.”

“It’s not yours either. Plus, Dean is almost always gone. He won’t mind, I’m sure.”

How did you ever think you could change her? How did you ever think she would be willing to change? You’re about to respond to her when you feel a hand wrap around your arm. Dean pulls you away from Amber and to an empty room nearby. He shoves you inside the room and slams the door behind him with a deadly glare on his face.

“Dean, I am so sorry. I didn't know she was doing this. All these people just showed up,” you stutter. “God, she always does shit like this. I shouldn’t have brought her here.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Dean glares. “Get rid of them.”

“Yeah, you got it.”

“I mean it, Y/N. I am a vampire and this party is filled with blood bags. Get rid of them before I do.”

Your eyes widen when you realize the threat behind his words. You leave the room and push through the sea of people that seemed to get bigger from ten minutes ago. You grab a few cups from people but they pass you by without another thought.

“Party’s over! You need to leave!” you shout over the loud music. No one is listening to you so you push your way to the DJ who is spinning the record player. “Hey! You need to stop. The party is over!”

“Get lost,” he says and continues playing music.

The control is slowly leaving your body and you start to panic. People are doing body shots off of other people, some are in the pool half-naked, and some are playing beer pong and doing drugs, among them is Amber. From the DJ stand, you can see over everyone’s head and to the couch where you left Amber. There are white lines on the table, one of which she sniffs up her nose. You don’t think anyone can hear your heart break over the music.

You jump off the platform and push through the crowd to get to her. She sniffs up another line of drugs when you yank on her hair.

“What the fuck?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Great, it’s the fun police,” she giggles with her friends. She grabs her alcohol bottle and takes a few swigs. “You need to lighten up, Y/N. Have fun. Get drunk. Get laid. Where’s Dean?”

Tears prick the back of your eyes. “This isn’t funny, Amber. This is my life. You come in and ruin everything! You’re poison and a parasite. I don’t even know why I helped you in the first place!”

Amber glares but she is too high to care enough to bite back.

“Let’s play Seven Minutes in Heaven!” she shouts. A few people cheer her on as she shugs the rest of her alcohol. Some drops fall from her mouth when she pulls the bottle away but she wipes it away with the back of her hand. “Y/N, you go first!”

“No, I’m not playing, Amber. Seriously, the party is over.”

Amber doesn’t listen and spins the bottle on the now drug-free table. The bottle spins and lands on a spot that’s right behind you, and she grins when she sees who is standing there.

“Dean, you gotta go in the closet with Y/N.”

You turn swiftly and see Dean standing there with an emotionless face. Shit, he looks pissed. Someone grabs your shoulder and pushes you and Dean into the nearest closet. The door closes before you can say anything. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper.

“I don’t care about the party, anymore.” Dean steps closer to you, puts a hand on the wall behind you, and leans in closer to you. “What are you doing to me?”

“What do you mean?” you whisper.

“I can’t get you out of my head. You’re so different from her.” You can only assume he’s talking about the woman before you. He’s so close that your heart is racing a million miles a second. He leans in so close that you think he is going to kiss you but he doesn’t. He’s stopping himself as if kissing you is the most horrible thing to do. You sigh in disappointment which Dean picks up on. “Fuck it.”

He turns back to you, grabs both sides of your head, and kisses you so deeply that your knees immediately go weak. He holds you close and takes complete control over the kiss. His lips mold to yours like they were always meant to be there. His tongue touching yours sends sparks flying down your body. Your head is swirling too quickly for you to keep up, and all you can smell is him.

He finally pulls away from you and you lean against the wall to steady yourself. Dean doesn’t say a word and leaves the closet since the seven minutes are up. You touch your lips with a shaky hand as you force yourself to calm your racing heart and mind. Amber is gone from the couch when you leave the closet but you don’t care about her. You storm over to the DJ who is taking a water break and snatch the microphone from the stand.

“Party is over. Get out. The police have been called and are on their way!”

That does it for most. They scatter like startled cats and the rest leave because everyone else is. Soon, the house is empty and covered with trash and empty bottles. You’ll clean this later but right now, there is one person on your mind who you need to deal with. It’s not hard to find your sister when she is vomiting her guts out in the downstairs bathroom. You don’t care if you get vomit on you. You yank her away from the toilet by her hair and pull her toward the door.

“Wait, Y/N, I’m sorry. Please don’t do this,” she cries.

“You’re done, Amber. You’re not living here anymore.”

“Please, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again,” she sobs.

You drag her to the front door and throw her out on her ass. She has tears running down her face and looks at you with a heartbroken look.

“Please, Y/N, don’t do this to me.”

“No, I am not doing this again. Go find somewhere else to sleep, and go find someone else who will give a shit about you because I am done.”

With that, you slam the door in her face. You start to clean the house from the partygoers but that doesn’t distract you from Amber’s cries on the front porch. You continue to ignore her until she stops which means she either fell asleep on the porch or she left. A quick check through the window tells you it’s the latter.

Amber stumbles from the house in tears and down the long driveway to the road. She has no idea where she is going to go but maybe there is a homeless shelter that might take her for the night. She pulls her thin jacket tighter against herself since it’s starting to get cold outside. She walks further down the road when she hears the rumble of a car behind her. Maybe she can hitch a ride to town.

She turns and puts her hand out to avoid being blinded by the headlights. The car slows down next to her, and the driver rolls down the passenger side window.

“Can I get a ride into town, please?”

“Hop in,” the man says.

Amber is quick to hop inside the car where the heater is gently blowing.

“Sorry if I seem like a mess. My sister just kicked me out of her life, basically. I know I’m a fuck up. I fuck up all the time. I understand why she would but she’s my sister. We’re supposed to stick together through thick and thin, you know? So I do a bit of drugs. So what?”

“You poor girl,” the man says. “I can help you.”

Amber looks up and sees he hasn’t moved the car since she got in. She glances over at him in confusion. He has a beer belly, hairy arms, a scraggly beard, and dark eyes.

“How?”

The man grins with sharp fangs where his canines should be. He grabs Amber and sinks his teeth into her neck. Amber screams for her life but no one is around to hear them. He’s right about one thing: poor girl.

x

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[passerine-writes]

Silent Sparks - Volt 16

Warnings: None :) Word count: 2061

Notes: Italics - Tsukare signing Bold italics - Family member/friend signing 'Italics with apostrophes' - Thoughts Masterlist

Volt 15 | Volt 17

"Excuse me! Young man, what's it like going to such a prestigious school?"

"What's it like to have All Might as a teacher?"

"What is the Symbol of Peace like in person?"

Multiple reporters asked me questions and I very much started to regret walking to school with Midoriya today. I think I said 'no comment' more times then I can count.

"Excuse me, you're a student here! How is-" My hearing cut out when a reporter placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Take your hand off of my student before I call the authorities." I looked up to see my dad standing there, very exhausted and uncaring towards the reporters. "Get inside." I scurried in and made my way to the classroom.

"Hey, Tsukabro!" Confused, I looked up and was greeted with a smiling Kirishima. I waved at him and saw Hitoshi already talking with Midoriya so I figured I'd give the lovebirds some space and walked towards the redhead. Him, Kaminari, Mina and Sero were all hanging around a few desks and I tiredly joined them. "Bro you look exhausted! Did you get any sleep last night?" Out of habit, I nodded and sipped on my coffee.

"Yeah, I got a few hours in. Can you believe all the reporters out there?"

"I know right! It's insane!" I looked to Kaminari as he spoke, even his voice was pretty.

"Yeah! And then someone asked me why I was pink! It makes no sense to ask me that!"

"Isn't it just part of your quirk?" I asked the pink girl and she nodded excitedly.

"Don't forget the horns! I don't know why since my quirk is acid, but I guess it's just part of it." I hummed and took another sip of my coffee.

"Hey, Tsukare, I wanted to ask you something about yesterday." I turned my attention to Sero, starting to feel slightly overwhelmed with the group conversation. "How did you learn to fight like that? Those were some crazy moves!"

"Hitoshi and I have been training and sparring together for a few years now, guess I just picked it up along the way." He nodded quickly, believing the half lie I told him.

I patted my pocket and realized I forgot my main fidget cube at home. I started searching through my bag, hoping to find one of the many fidgets I keep in there but soon realized I forgot to put them back in after rearranging my bag.

"Tsukare!" I looked up and saw a hand holding a fidget controller out for me. I looked up and met Kaminari's eye, gratefully taking the item from him and fidgeting away. "I saw that you started bouncing your leg and couldn't find your go to stash, thankfully I remembered mine today. Just give it back to me before our last class, yeah?"

"Thank you." He smiled brightly and I ducked my head as I started to blush again.

"What's that for?" I felt my nerves dissipate almost completely as I clicked the buttons and used the mini joystick. I wasn't too surprised by Mina's question.

"Oh uh, I have ADHD, so I have a hard time focusing and concentrating and stuff like this helps me do that. I just forgot all of mine at home and I'm still waiting for my meds to kick in."

"Ohhhh, okay!"

"Everybody! Class is about to start, please take your seats!" I rolled my eyes but sat in my seat at Iida's announcement. We learned our lesson on the first day and instantly quieted down at the sight of my dad.

"Decent work on yesterday's training you guys. I saw the video feed and went over each of your teams results. Bakugou. You're talented. So don't sulk like a child about your loss, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." I tried to resist rolling my eyes at his attitude. However something seemed different with him.

"And Midoriya. I see the only way you won the match was by messing up your arm again. Work harder. And don't give me the excuse that you don't have control over your quirk. That lines already getting old. You can't keep breaking your body while training here. But your quirk will be really useful if you can get a handle on it. So show a little urgency, huh?" I sent my friend a smile as he got excited by the backhanded compliment.

"Right!"

"Let's get down to business. Our first task, will decide your future. You all need to pick a class representative."

"Pick me, guys! I wanna be class rep!" Kirishima jumped up and yelled, followed in succession by Kaminari, Jirou, Aoyama, Mina, and Bakugou. I think I was one of the few that didn't raise their hand for this.

"Silence! Everyone, please!" I watched from my seat as Iida stood up and settled down the class. "The class representatives duty is to lead others. That's not something just anyone can do. You must first have the trust of every student in the classroom. Therefor, the most logical way to fill this position is democratically. We will hold an election to choose our leader!" I shrugged, not minding and just tuning out the classroom discussion. My dad went and took a nap in his bright sleeping bag, however I don't blame him. That thing is comfy.

After a lot of thought, I casted my vote towards Iida. He clearly had leadership abilities, intelligence, and a clear head on his shoulders.

In the end, I got six votes and Yaoyorozu got three, everyone else had two, one or none. I wasn't expecting to get the most, so I simply wasn't prepared.

"Okay you idiots, who voted for earbleed over there?!" I rolled my eyes at his aggression.

"Did you honestly think anyone was gonna vote for you?" I couldn't hold back my bit of laughter at Sero's comment.

"All right, the class rep is Tsukare, and our deputy is Yaoyorozu." I smiled, trying to hide my nerves. Public speaking isn't my forte.

"I have something I'd like to say." All eyes were on me and I looked down at the fidget that Kaminari lent me, focusing on that instead. "While I'm glad that a portion of you trust me and think I'd be best suited for this, I don't have a lot of leadership qualities. Which is why I would like to nominate Iida to take my place as class rep. I think he would be better equipped and proficient rather then me." I looked up and saw Iida staring at me with wide eyes.

"I trust his opinion, you all saw how he stuck to his guns with All Might yesterday, he wasn't scared to stick up for what he thought was right! He's super manly! So if he thinks Iida should be rep, then that's good enough for me." Iida stood and bowed, thanking me as we went back to our seats. Yaoyorozu saying something about points under her breath.

"Now that we have our new class rep, we can continue on with class today."

——————

I slowly sat down between Kaminari and Kirishima, after checking with Hitoshi, I took Kaminari up on his offer from yesterday.

"Hey Tsukare! I can't believe you gave your spot to Iida!" I looked at the blond beside me and nodded.

"Yeah, honestly public speaking and leadership things aren't really my cup of coffee. I know Hitoshi and Midoriya are two of the ones that voted for me but I don't know who else did."

"That, would've been all of us." I looked to Sero, shocked that all of them voted for me.

"Really?"

"Of course Tsukababes! It was actually Kaminari and Kirishima's idea!" I looked at the two and they nodded, with bright smiles. And then the alarm started ringing.

"Warning. Level three security breach. Students please evacuate the building in an orderly fashion." My blood ran cold, in all the time I've lived with my dads, this has never happened. Not once.

"I think we should go, like now." My voice wavered and we all got up quickly, rushing to the already crowded hallway.

People bumped into me left and right, the hallway felt like it was getting smaller and my ears started ringing. I tried my hardest to just breathe but it wasn't working. Kirishima was practically crowd surfing at this point, I don't know where everyone else went. Next thing I know I was half slammed into the wall and into Kaminari. We toppled over, getting pushed around in the hallway until we found a stable place against the wall. My back pressed snug against it, his chest almost flush against mine as he angled his body to block some of the crowd. His left forearm rested against the wall next to my head while his free hand rested on my hip. My breath got caught in my throat as I looked into his golden irises.

"You're okay. I'll keep you safe." I went to speak but got stopped by Iida. We looked up to find him floating and planted in front of the exit sign.

"Listen up, everything is okay! It's just the media outside. There's absolutely nothing to worry about. Everything's fine! We're UA students. We need to remain calm and prove that we're the best of the best." He yelled across the hallway. We all relaxed some, Kaminari let his shoulders slump as he eased up, but his hands never moved.

Once the hallway was mostly cleared out, he let go and sent me a blinding smile. My face was surely pink and warm after realizing the position we were just in.

"Thank you." He looked into my eyes for a second before stepping back, a coy smirk on his face.

"Yeah, no problem!"

Once back in the class room and everything was said and done, I noticed Yaoyorozu sulking a little with the other girls and I had a feeling on what it was about.

"Hey, Yaoyorozu?" She hummed and sat up straighter while she looked at me. "I noticed you were a little uh, off put about something. I-I'm not trying to pry or anything, but is it because I nominated Iida, even though you had two more points then him? I overheard you mumble something about that earlier but I wasn't too sure." She froze for a moment, losing her composure and the other girls looked at me in shock. "Can I take a seat?"

"Yes, of course." I pulled up the empty chair, noticing that Hagakure was standing instead of sitting and sat next to her desk.

"I didn't offer you up because I could tell that you need a break. You clearly work hard and strive to be the best, and I admire that about you already. However, something tells me that you're the type of person to go above and beyond for everyone else before yourself. So if that's the case, I wanted you to be allowed to take a break and breathe while still getting things done. If anything, I think you're overqualified for deputy." I watched Yaoyorozu's eyes begin to water and I worried that maybe I said the wrong thing or too much and just made it worse.

"Wow, that's actually really thoughtful Tsukare." Jirou chimed in, eyes widened slightly as she looked at me.

"I-I'm sorry if I overstepped or anything, I wasn't trying to." Yaoyorozu shook her head and tediously dried her eyes.

"No, not at all. Thank you. It truly means a lot to me." I smiled and excused myself, putting the chair back in place before finding my brother who was, unsurprisingly, talking to Midoriya.

"Hey." The two greeted me, the green haired boy a lot more enthusiastic then my brother.

"Hey Tsukare! I was just talking to Shinsou about you two coming over this weekend." I looked to my brother and nodded.

"I don't see why not, we'll have to talk to our dads though." He nodded excitedly, a bright smile on his face as his green hair flopped around.

"Okay! Just let me know!" I sent him a thumbs up as we started our trek back to the station. I couldn't shake the feeling like someone was watching us though.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Can’t sleep, mind going precisely 56 miles an hour, so I think I’ll finally get around to writing this.

Couples days back, I went ahead and finally psyched myself up to do the Zant bossfight.

Because I’d picked up where I’d left off yesterday, which was just before the boss room, obviously I was taken back to the beginning of the area. This gave the whole ordeal a trek, if a short one, what with the Palace of Twilight’s laughable length, and me more time to think.

I didn’t want to do this.

It sounds stupid, but I really didn’t want to do this. I’d cried the day before trying to psych myself up and failing, and I’d cried then, before the boss door, stalling by sweeping away the crystal-fog as best I could-- A meagre attempt at housekeeping, and a futile one. Of course I couldn’t. This isn’t that sort of game. This isn’t a game for failed attempts at kindness, at least trying to clean this awful, awful place for an awful, awful man going through awful, awful things. I was supposed to be a hero.

Heroes don’t make beds.

They don’t wash dishes, or hang laundry, or hold a rival’s hand,

They kill.

The trek didn’t stop past the door, either.

We still had to walk up the stairs. To the throne.

To him.

And I was there, laugh-crying, wishing I didn’t have to. That I could skip this pathetic ordeal.

I tried to turn around and leave.

Despite it only looking like a larger one of the many, many doors we’ve passed through this awful, nonsensical, poorly-designed excuse for a palace that no one could ever live in, it didn’t budge. There wasn’t any turning back. I had to go forward, because this is an action game, and violence is key.

The game takes the reigns. Link walks up to the throne, sword drawn, despite my deliberate decision to sheathe it. The narrative begins again. Midna sneers, and throws a taunt at him.

Zant sits, and smiles. Smiles like he thinks he still has some form of control, or knows full well he’s lost it.

You know, when I was working through the Palace of Twilight, I’d come to the realisation that... Zant locked himself in the throneroom. From the outside. Logistically, despite the good laugh I had over this guy locking himself in from the fucking outside, where his opponents can grab the key, he could get out easily-- teleportation and all. But even that aside, it still spoke to a level of hasty panic, that he would even keep the key outside, behind a waterfall of yet more shitty fog-crytals in the hopes that would deter them. Deter us.

How long had the guy been here, alone in that room?

We all know what happens next. Despite this being my first playthrough, I’ve probably seen this cutscene a dozen times. Zant has what amounts to an overly-dramatised autistic meltdown expositing himself and his motivations. That he was upset and felt like everything he’d worked for had been taken away from him. That he was angry, angry and fed up of being relegated to a half-existence. Midna retorts, Zant wails some more.

What gets me is that, when Ganondorf visits him, engulfs him in this flaming ball of fucked-magical-fuckery, he just. Stares. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything. Ganondorf speaks as though he’s already decided that, yes, you will do, we will make a pact and rule Everything together; I will live on through you.

Did Zant even agree to this?

I think, subconsciously or not, he accepted it, but it begs the question of whether or not Zant was capable enough to partake in it.

Whatever the answer, he’s clearly not capable enough to partake in this. This fight.

It’s laughable, that I’m expected to find victory in this.

The fight was a fucking slog, 90% of the time. Some of these boss-battles I hadn’t played in nearly two years thanks to the impromptu hiatuses I’m so fond of taking, so I didn’t know what the fuck I was meant to be doing half the time-- And when I did, it lagged to shit everytime this poor bastard fired projectiles, because I was playing on the gamepad, because why on earth would I play this on the goddamn TV? It was a sad, pitiful encounter that I had to laugh my way through and also mumble “what the fuck“ on several occasions because I guess somebody at Nintendo ate cheese before bed and the dev team were so desperate to patch something together for this guy’s sudden crisis that they threw it in-- I’m obviously having a good laugh, but What The Fuck.

I knock the guy down in the last phase of the battle, the only one where he isn’t mimicking something else and dizzies himself spinning like a hyperactive child, and the game takes the reigns again. Midna prepares her hair. I look away-- I’ve seen it before, many times before, and it’s cartoonishly grotesque for a game that relies heavily on somber semi-realism. Midna has her own crisis-- And yeah, yeah bossbabe, I feel it.

It cuts back, and there’s a Heart Container on the guy’s throne.

I.

I killed a guy, and now I’m collecting his lifeforce. I stormed into the bunged-up attempt of a fortress conjured up as a last defense by a man who’s fallen head-first into insanity, tore through any meagre security measure like butter, murder the guy when he’s having an episode, he dies a fucked up death, and then I collect his lifeforce.

Is that fucked up or what?

For all of Zelda’s endless violence, rarely do you actually kill “people.“ It’s the kind of stuff reserved for the end, for Ganondorf, or some other corrupted nigh-demigod on the brink of losing their humanity, or never having possessed it.

We kill Zant.

Zant barely puts up a fight, and we kill him. Zant gets summoned from the netherworld by Ganondorf in Hyrule Warriors; we put him there in the first place.

If we were to view this from a literal, like this shit actually happened and these characters are to be held accountable standpoint, then what we did was justified-- If not wholly, then mostly. Zant got power-hungry, committed what amounts to a bio-terroristic coup on the government, disfigured his rival, a woman notorious for her beauty, then proceeded to attempt the same thing with Hyrule, leading to the indirect death of at least the people who got transfigured into Shadow-Beasts in Kakariko, and attacks you first, then yeah, no biggie?

But I’ll be fucking real with you chief, I don’t find it... I don’t know, persuasive? Effective? Compelling, would be the best word, to think of it that way?

What Zant is, is a narrative tool. One that was set up to be this big, bad interloper who you need to Take Down and Save Everything, as per usual Zelda format. The justification for why we should hate him, if I’m going to be honest, feels contrived, most of the time. He does some bad thing off-screen, Midna gets pissed, Midna and everyone within a 12-mile radius explains why we should be pissed in a way that often feels borderline developer-hand-y-- And that’s. Well that’s how Zelda usually is.

It’s justification to commit violence.

--To be clear, I don’t say this in a political sense. I mean it in the very literal “hit/kill a guy“ sense. And in all honesty, that’s kinda inherent to the ethos of action games. We enjoy catharsis-- We enjoy taking down big things, it’s satisfying! I’ve played a little Hyrule Warriors-- Loved the feel of it. Violence is inherent to even the most benign of action games, and it is what it is.

Where it falls short for me, is that with Zant, I don’t feel like I’m taking down some great foe that I should justifiably hate.

I feel like I’m a clearly more equipped person breaking into a room, and bludgeoning a mentally ill person.

I’m autistic. I may slot in easier to NT society than most, but I am autistic, and it makes me deeply uncomfortable to see something I’ve fucking gone through be used carelessly as flavour for a prelude to violence. I have meltdowns. They’re relatively rare, and mostly in my room, alone, but I’ve also experienced one out in public. It was only sobbing, but there’s a special kind of horror, of humilation in knowing other people, strangers, family, what have you, are seeing it, and all you can think is how much you failed.

I can’t fully articulate why I cried so much during this, quite frankly, menial ordeal. I’m half-embarrassed to even talk about it-- Because then that means caring too much, and I can’t care too much over a poorly-justified character that wasn’t even intended to be sympathised with and that most of the fandom laughs at. And I can’t say I blame them.

I guess at the end of the day it comes down to the ever-present pity; some strange, childish commiseration I’d indulged in ever since I was six and cooing over Bowser and how awful everything was for him, that despite my continuous efforts, I can’t ever seem to explain.

I didn’t like the Zant fight. It felt empty,

And all did was sweep cobwebs and try to turn back.

[littlegiantposts]

movie night

pairing: todoroki x f!reader

warning: strong language probably. possible anime/manga spoilers! grammar mistakes :( I suck at writing

summary: It’s not that Y/n didn’t want friends, it’s just people always found her intimidating

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent lol sorry about that, so like yeah I’m gonna be saying y/n, but also i am deriving her personality, attitude, looks from a character that I’ve sort of made up in my head haha. also idk if this is like a headcanon, imagine, or like a scenaro....so sorry. And like, sort of a side note, I love making main characters that are like sorta op so y/n’s quirk and story is sorta insane, but you guys dont really have to worry about it too much because its not really in this so....yeah, i guess its just some context. I wrote this while listening to a playlist I made, titled, “ur a badass hero with class 1-a” on spotify so if ppl wanna hear it, I will post a link to it lol. OH and class 1-a are in their second year! That’s a lot, sorry! But, I hope you enjoy!

y/n’s quirk (if ur curious): controlling the 4 elements (aang from the last airbender vibe lmao); but she also got a companion named koda (think of Moro-no-kimi from Princess Mononoke for the look) 

Y/n was never good at making friends. It’s not like she didn’t try, because she did. When she was a little kid, living on Catalina Island, she made a lot of attempts to make friends with fellow children in her pre-school and middle school. It just seemed that they wanted nothing to do with her, talking bad about her behind her back or acting as if she just didn’t exist. 

It started to get exhausting for Y/n to keep trying and ending up always failing. So, when enrolling in the top hero school, UA, Y/n thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be different. 

Nonetheless, it’s not like she had absolutely no one. She had Koda! Her best friend in the whole wide world, well her only friend, which was her pet wolf. However, Koda doesn’t like being called a “pet”, let’s stick with her companion. They are quite the inseparable duo. 

Y/n looked down at Koda from her desk who was lulling herself to sleep on the floor as Present Mic was teaching an English lesson. Y/n wished she too can sleep at this moment, “It wouldn’t hurt if I just closed my eyes for just a couple minutes.” Y/n thought. Oh, she was wrong though.

“Alright! We are going take a short break since we need to get our new textbooks,” Present Mic’s voice rang through her ears with all his elongation and passion, “Y/n and Todoroki! What about you two go get the books from the library!” Y/n would have jolted at the mention of her face, but she was honestly too tired to do so. 

She nodded her head, got up from her desk, and looked at Koda if he was going to follow her. Of course, he perked up at the mention of her name and was going with her. A small smile was now on Y/n’s lips. Y/n was glad that she knew she can depend on Koda, always in her corner.

As she pushed her chair away from her desk, getting up and walking towards the door, she didn’t realize that most of the class was either looking at her or the half and half boy, for he had to endure the trip with the enigma that is Y/n. 

The class just doesn’t know Y/n that well. She was one of the new students this year, along with Shinso. However, they at least knew of Shinso from last year. Y/n was a  brand-spanking new addition to the class. Not to mention, her introduction to the class was nothing short of intimidating.

Aizawa knew Y/n had a lot of strengths. In fact, he used her skills as a type of learning lesson for the class. Not to mention, he completely singled her out during the “lesson” as he instructed the class that Y/n will have a bell that is tied around her belt. All they had to do was get the bell. Y/n, being the competitive person she was, didn’t back down at this challenge. Safe to say, no one was able to get the bell that day.

Y/n sighed at the memory. “Maybe, if you had some chill, you would be able to get a friend, Y/n” a voice in her head said, causing Y/n’s shoulders to shrink and her hands to be stuffed into her pockets. (Yes, she has pockets with her uniform. Yes, she’s still wearing the school uniform skirt. She sowed pockets into them for this very habit.) 

“Uh, hey wait up.” a deeper voice called, already identifying who it is.

Y/n turned to right, looking at Koda for a brief second. From far away, one would think he was just grimacing, but as Y/n was closer, she can see he was very close to full-on growling at the sound of his voice.

Koda doesn’t really like Todoroki and Y/n always found it funny. Koda found everyone else real entertaining. As much as Koda was a wolf, he really was a people’s person. If Y/n didn’t know any better, it seemed Koda had a better relationship with her classmates than she actually did.

Y/n adopted a tired smile as she reacted to Koda’s growling at Shoto. She then looked behind her, seeing Todoroki jog lightly towards her. Her small smile soon faded away.

“Even if you try again to be a friend, you know that people will always end up fearing you.” Y/n honestly wanted to bang her head against a wall because this annoying voice was truly the bane of her existence. 

Y/n stopped in her tracks. Koda made eye-contact with her, almost telepathically asking her, “Why are you stopping for him?!”.

“I may be aloof, but I have to at least be polite.” Y/n told her wolf companion. Koda only let out a breathe of frustration as he also stopped as well.

Todoroki soon caught up to the duo and was on Y/n’s left side. And the three began their trek to the school library.

There was some silence.

For Todoroki, it was so awkward. “Why don’t you say something to her?” he asks himself, “Or are you going to let another opportunity slip?”

You see, Shoto Todoroki admired Y/n. She was incredibly skilled with her quirk. She was confident, but not arrogant. She was an innovator, while still accepting old principles. She was naturally smart, but always open to learning. To him, she was so balanced. He couldn’t help himself as the admiration started to soon feel like a crush on the dark haired girl.

For Y/n, she didn’t think anything of the silence. In fact, she was grateful for the silence. More silence, means less time for talking. Less chance of Y/n making a fool out of herself.

“You seem more tired than usual. Trained a lot yesterday, I presume?” And Todoroki broke the silence that Y/n was trying to insist.

“Yeah, trying out a new technique with my water.”

Y/n was surprised.

She really could have been more blunt with her answer.

Theoretically, all she really had to respond with was a “yeah”, but she decided to add that last part.

Why? Why did she feel inclined to go into more detail? Now, Y/n was confused. 

“That’s cool.” Todoroki wanted to hit himself in the head. “That’s all you got to say? What a conversation this is” Shoto mentally sighs. He feels like his heart is going to burst at how fast its going. 

“I’m actually trying to freeze it, but that turns out to be harder than expected,” Y/n almost slapped her hand on her mouth.

Why is she going into more detail? This doesn’t make sense. She’s been quite blunt lately when people try to talk to her, so what gives?

Is it Todoroki, himself? “Maybe he put a spell on me or something.” Y/n didn’t think the “icy-hot bastard” would dabble in witchcraft, but things were just not adding up in Y/n’s mind. All these thoughts woke Y/n right up, ridding herself of her tiredness. 

As for Todoroki, his mind was going into overdrive. “She’s having trouble with freezing water? She must know that this is my specialty. Is this her way of spending time with me? Does this mean the feelings I have for her are mutual? Perhaps, we can train together and I can help her with freezing.” The mere thought of spending time with Y/n outside of class made his cheeks warm up. 

He was an absolute love-struck fool for Y/n. 

“Oh, we’re here.” Y/n stated the obvious as they stand in front of the school’s library, halting Shoto’s mental mumbling, which almost resembled one of Midoryia’s ever-present babbling. 

Shoto Todoroki immediately shot his arm forward to open the door for Y/n, but Y/n was thinking the same thing and they reached for the same handle.

Their hands touch. 

And Todoroki thinks he can die happy now. Y/n’s hand is so soft. Much to his dismay, Y/n immediately drew her hand back as if his hand was scalding hot water. 

Y/n mumbled a quick “sorry” and places her hand on the other handle as there are two doors to the library, she opens it and immediately walks through it as Koda follows in tow. Koda dawns an absolute confused look as he didn’t know what the hell that interaction was about.

The actual task of getting the books aren’t that hard. In fact, it was an easy and quick task.

So, why is this causing Y/n’s mind and heart feeling like they are overheating.

As they walk back to the classroom with stacks of textbooks, Y/n thought, “Okay, there’s no way in hell that he will try to talk to me again, especially after that awkward incident. Now, let’s breakdown why the actual hell you acted that way, Y/n.” She mentally scolded herself like she was a child. 

Todoroki, as always, had a different plan and decided to continue the conversation, “You know, if you need help with freezing water, I can always help you since that is part of my quirk.”

Y/n has officially short-circuited.

He is voluntarily asking? Voluntarily. Asking?

Asking if Y/n wanted to train together?

This has never happened before, and she doesn’t know how to respond. “I would like that. I typically train in the morning and sometimes after school” is what Y/n felt like saying. It is as if her mind and mouth were working against each other.

However, Y/n’s thoughts were cut short as she heard the chatter of some of her fellow classmates. They three of them were very close to their classroom as their door to the room was wide open. 

“Hey guys, if we’re having a movie night tonight, do you think we should invite Y/n?”

It was Midoryia who asked the question. Y/n, Shoto, and Koda stopped dead in their tracks at the mention of her name. Shoto and Koda looked at Y/n with a worried expression. For her own good, she probably shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help but be curious of her classmates’ plan in regards to her.

“It’s not that we don’t want her there. It’s just that, who is up for asking her?”

Silence. No one responded to the question.

Koda notices how Y/n’s grip on the textbooks tightened. Shoto noticed how your head was now titled downward, hiding your face.

“She’s just so intimidating. And not to mention that training exercise we did when we first met her. She’s sort of scary, to be honest.”

“Scary. You’re scary, Y/n. Terrifying.” She couldn’t help but repeat her classmates’ thought of her. She was just torturing herself at this point. No point in dwelling on first impressions, but as this is affecting her current relationship, or lack thereof, with her classmates, she couldn’t help it.

“Y/n-” Todoroki tries to interject before Y/n gets the wrong idea.

But, it’s too late.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for the offer though, Todoroki.” Y/n’s words were slow. As much as her brain was going a million miles per hour, her mouth was evidently slower as her breathing was heavier.

She wanted to disappear, or at least get swallowed by the ground. She kept her head down as she strode into the classroom. Her classmates being oblivious to Y/n’s knowledge of what they truly think of her, paying no attention to her.

Shoto was basically frozen in place, next to the door, but he gained composure and walked in the class as well, a couple seconds after. Y/n quickly placed her books on the front desk where Present Mic sat behind of, she sat back in her seat that was in the back of the class.

Y/n watched how Shoto was still standing in front of the classroom as he was stopped by his classmates. Now, they were just chatting, probably talking about the upcoming movie night.

Y/n felt jealousy bubble up inside her. She wished she can chat like how Shoto was effortlessly talking away to his classmates. Or how Midoryia stopped him with such ease to talk about a social event.

Y/n yearned for some friendly interaction. That’s what she wanted when coming to UA. 

She wanted to be normal. As normal as she could be. A normal teenager.

“Things don’t always go according to plan, huh?” Y/n pouted and placed her head on her desk and just waited patiently till the school day was over.

Koda worriedly looked at Y/n. “She’s going to want to train after this. And I bet she’s going to push herself harder because of today.” Koda knew Y/n very well. Knew her like the back of his hand, well, paw. 

And, Koda was right. Y/n was in gym gamma, completely exhausted. Sweat covered her body as her muscles were screaming at her take a break. Her labored breathe continued as her body was trying its best to keep up.

Y/n was frustrated. “Why? Why am I like this?” she kept repeating like a mantra.

“I want to be normal. Why can’t I be like them?”

“Why?”

“You’re a monster. It’s actually quite simple.”

Y/n threw a punch with her fist encased in water, and it wasn’t until after that punch was thrown, she realized that there was now an evident hole in the thick, solid concrete wall. 

Y/n fell to her knees. Koda hurriedly made his way to her, making sure she didn’t do anything too stupid. Once Koda was close, she was doing something unexpected. 

She was crying. 

Hot streams, cascading down her face. She started to hiccup, her breathing erratic. “A-am I scary to you, Koda?” her voice was so small.

Koda nudged his way in between her legs and nestled his head into her neck. Y/n, full on sobbing now, wraps her arms around Koda and her cries are muffled by his fur. Wailing and self-deprecating questions can be faintly heard from her if anyone were to enter the gym.

A couple minutes passed. Y/n’a breathing returned to a calm rhythm.

“Thanks, Koda. I needed that,” Y/n sniffles, “C’mon let’s go make dinner, I’ll whip you up something special for putting up with me today.” Koda’s tail immediately began to wag at the thought of Y/n’s cooking.

Y/n was an independent person. She likes doing things on her own as much as can. She doesn’t eat the food from the school cafeteria, instead, she opts for making her and Koda’s meals from the kitchen that is provided to them in their dormitory. And indeed, she made a delicious dinner for both of them. 

Now, the hard part. Because of how long her training took, showering, and making dinner, Y/n knew that her classmates were in the common space already, probably preparing to have their movie night. And, she had to pass them. It was a short distance, short walk, Y/n was trying to reassure herself. Just walk straight towards to the elevator and you’re safe.

Y/n takes a deep breathe and walks out of the kitchen. The chatter of her classmates emerges to her ears, but as she walks towards the elevator, the chatter dies down.

“Oh no.” Y/n’s eyes widened in fear. “Way to go on ruining the mood, Y/n.”

Thankfully, the elevator was quick and the doors slide open, making an easy escape for Y/n and Koda. She let out a breathe she didn’t even realize she was holding in as the doors slid shut. Y/n looks at Koda, who was already looking at her, “It’s better this way, anyway” Y/n didn’t know if she was telling Koda that, or herself.

On the other side of the elevator’s doors, her classmates collectively let out a sigh, “Well that was another chance we wasted.” Kaminari was the first to break the awkward silence.

“Tch. Like any of you have the guts to actually ask her.” Bakugo chimed in.

“Oh please, Bakugo, I know she intimidates you, too.” Mina fired back.

“Whatever.”

“She heard you guys.” Todoroki suddenly talked. Everyone casted their attention to him, “Earlier today, I mean. She heard you guys when you were talking about inviting her to movie night.” 

The once light-hearted atmosphere in the room was now tilted with guilt.

“She heard all that?” Midoryia incredulously asked, only imagining what you would be feeling because of their words.

“She must feel terrible.” Ochaco openly voiced her thoughts.

“She probably hates us.” Kirishima adds in.

“She means well, I promise. I think we just need to give her a chance.” Todoroki tries to reason with his classmates.

“First, we need to apologize.” Midoryia proposes as he looks among his classmates. His classmates collectively nod their heads in agreement

“You’re right. Well, good luck Midoryia.” Kaminari pats his back as encouragement. Everyone else either gives an encouraging smile or a thumbs up.

“Ha?! What?! You guys already decided that I’m going to be the one to apologize?” Izuku was flailing his arm around and was checking everyone else’s reaction.

“Well, yes. It’s your idea and you are one of the most apologetic people here.” Iida explained to an overthinking Midoryia.

After regaining composure, he realized that this was probably the best option, “Okay, I’ll, I’ll go now.”

Midoryia makes his way to Y/n’s dorm room. He was nervous. He only had very limited interactions with Y/n. So, he really didn’t know what to expect. Before he knew it, he was before your door.

On the other side, Y/n was chowing down on her food. She took a swig of her water, “So, how’s the food? I tried a new technique on roasting the veggies.” Y/n babbled on for a bit, but she realized that Koda’s plate was hardly touched. Her gaze landed on Koda who was sitting on her bed with a very obvious frown, staring at the door. Y/n immediately knew why.

“Hey, if you wanna go hangout with them, I can push the buttons on the elevator for you-”

Koda was irritated at how difficult Y/n was being, she can just ask them if she can join. It was simple. Koda used his mouth to latch on to Y/n’s sleeve and started to drag her to her dorm’s door. 

“H-hey Koda! Not cool, man! You know, I can’t go down there.” Y/n tugs her sleeve away from Koda. 

Koda turned to his last resort. He did his signature pout. 

“Oh, please. You know that stopped working on me awhile ago. Besides, we can have our own movie night, right?” Y/n tried to reason, but her reasoning just felt sad.

Before Y/n could step away from her dorm’s door, she heard a knock. The two quickly tuned their heads at the door as if something miraculous just happened.

Y/n took one step toward the door. 

“It’s Midoryia.” Koda began to wag his tail, “don’t get your hopes up too quickly.”

Y/n opened the door only a slit for her head to poke out, “Oh, hi Midoryia. Is something wrong?” she asks.

“U-um, no nothings wrong.” he responds as nerves start to take over and he doesn’t continue on.

“Okay.” With that, Y/n closed her door. Koda wanted to scratch his eyes out. This was her chance! For someone who was the top student in her class, she was so stupid. “He didn’t want anything. Sorry to disappoint, Koda-” another knock interrupted her.

She looked at the door, “It’s still Midoryia.” Koda rolled his eyes.

Y/n went to to open the door, again, only opening a bit, “Yes, Midoryia? You sure something isn’t wrong?”

“Uh, well I was wondering if we can talk for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah sure.” Y/n stepped out of her door, and shutting it.

However, Koda was right on her trail, but was shut out by the now closed door. He pouts at the door. And how holds his ear to the door, interested in the conversation that has yet to come.

“So, what’s up?” Y/n asked the green-haired boy.

“I, we, as a class, wanted to apologize for our words today.” Midoryia spoke in a remorseful and quiet tone.

Y/n was taken back. “So, they know that I heard what they were saying? Must have been Todoroki’s doing.”

“Look, it’s fine. I know I’m intimidating-“

“But it’s not fine. We shouldn’t have treated or talked about you that way.”

Y/n was stunned at his words. He took that as a sign to continue, “and we were hoping, if you’d be okay if we start over and become friends.”

Y/n remained cautious with her walls, “You know, friendship isn’t really a perquisite for this course.”

“Of course, I know that. We all do, but it doesn’t hurt to have them, right?”

Y/n felt like tearing up. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to put her trust in that last statement of his. 

“I’ll be be down in 5 minutes,” Y/n stated rather blandly, but it didn’t matter to Midoryia.

“Great! See ya!” He waved and started to head back to the elevator, before he pressed the button, Y/n called him once more,

“Midoryia?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” and nods his head. He couldn’t be more thrilled that this will all work out.

As for Y/n, she opened her door to her dorm, and closing it as she stepped inside.

As soon as she was in the comfort of her own room, she broke into her happy dance. Her fists clenched, eyes shut, shoulders scrunched, jumping in the air, squeals make their way pass her lips, with the biggest smile on her face

Koda felt a wave of relief of wash over him. He was glad that she was finally experiencing acceptance. 

After the moment passes, Y/n sighs and looks at Koda, ruffling his fur on the top of his head.

“Well, shall we?” Y/n said in an extravagant manner as she opened her door and bowed.

Koda, playing along, held his head high and strutted out. Y/n let out a light-hearted laugh and they made their way down, together.

Once Y/n actually made it to the common room, all of her classmates were looking at her, stopping their conversations as well. The confidence that Y/n help was long gone, feeling now awkward yet again.

However, the silence didn’t last too long as the class enveloped her in boisterous apologies, hugs, and pats on the back. 

To say Y/n was overwhelmed was understatement. She had never been around these many people, giving attention towards her. It was new territory she had yet to cross. 

“Guys, you should probably let her breathe.”

That was Todoroki. Y/n pried her eyes away from Mina who was asking what conditioner she uses, and looked at Shoto. Y/n mouthed a “thank you” and he simply nodded.

The class went back to their seats, muttering apologies again for getting in her personal space.

Now, Y/n faced yet another problem:

Where is she going to sit?!

She kept standing where she stood for a good couple seconds, scanning the area for any good spots.

However, there was actually only one spot open. And, it just happen to be next to Todoroki. 

Y/n mentally prepared herself and started her path towards him. Of course, Shoto knew this. He was the one who made sure he saved a seat right next to him just for this occasion.

But things don’t always go according to plan, right?

Rightly so, right before Y/n could take the unaccompanied seat, Denki was coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, plopping right down on the seat.

“Oh, hey Y/n! I’m glad you made it! You want some popcorn?”

“No, I’m good, thanks though.” Y/n was able to play it off as she chose to sit on the floor in front of the couch, which coincidentally was in front of the seat that Shoto resided. 

Shoto was irritated. He wanted you to sit next to him. For crying out loud, that was the whole reason he had this seat open in the first place. All he does is sigh, catching Y/n’s attention.

Y/n turns back to Todoroki, sending a small smile his way, but then turning back to the screen as her fellow classmates were arguing on what to watch.

Y/n put her hand to her chest. This is weird. Why is her heart rate so high? She’s not usually like this. Maybe Todoroki did cast a spell on her.

Y/n couldn’t think about it too much as the movie began playing.

[transmascfrankiero]

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

[isolenmlyswear69]

Collide [Teaser] ~ a JJ Maybank x OC fanfic

Warning: cursing, bad grammar, not prof read

A/N: I left tumblr for a while to take a break from everything and decided to write in my free time and came up with this, dont worry I’ll get right to answering your guys ask just wanted to share this

Paring: JJ Maybanks x OC

Word count: 18.1K

****************************************

The sun peeked through the curtains of the chateau,making me squint before rolling over and tucking my head deeper into the pillow groaning deeply as i heard a a low chuckle and John b’s voice echoed through the house seemingly louder then it was,

“Morning Sunny,” he said laughing at how I rolled myself deeper into the makeshift bed as he headed outside, most likely to chill on the hammock. I grumbel to myself and sat up, rubbing my eyes before I leaned back, stitching my back, hearing a couple of pops before sitting up and cracking my eyes open. Swinging my legs over the side of the couch, setting my feet on the trash covered ground moving an empty beer can with my toe so i could set my foot down. Standing up, letting my shirt that i had wore yesterday fall back over my jean shorts as i stretch my arms up above my head letting a small tremor roll through my body while my muscles finally woke up, i let my arms drop back down letting a small sigh out before shuffling into the kitchen, around the bar counter heading straight towards the fridge, pulling the door open leaning down before reaching my hand in shuffling around past the cases of beer looking for something a less likely to edge on the headache was already starting to form in the front of her head. I set my sights on the orange juice that was near the back of the fridge, grabbing the neck of the bottle dragging it out of the fridge,praying it isn't out of date. Knowing the boys it most likely was but hey why not be an optimist right? I turned leaning my hips onto the counter unscrewing the cap and bringing it to my lips, before tipping it up taking a big swig. I can say that was the worst decision i made that day, i quickly leaned towards the sink spitting it out as fast as i could quickly turning on the sink, sticking my face under the faucet bringing the water into my mouth swishing it around before spitting that out leaning back up head still tilting down towards the sink. I reached up my arm and shut the sink off before grabbing the bottle of orange juice and emptying it out in the sink. All i can say is fuck optomistic people they are crazy and dont know the fine line betwen optimisum and insanity. I let out a grumble as I worked my way around the chateau, thinking I could just take a walk to the store and grab a tea or something that was actually digestible. I grumbled to myself as i suffered to the guest bedroom in the chateau, before slamming my fist against the door a couple time,

“ i left my wallet in there so i'm giving you 3 seconds to get decent then i'm coming in for it “ i say loudly, my voice still scratchy from the lack of sleep i had gotten last night. thanks to the pogues party habits it was hard to get sleep during summer, not that i minded i'm always down for a party, the aftermath still sucks major ass let's be honest. I grab the handle turning it quickly pushing in the door and walking in the room quick heading straight for the dresser near the window spotting my wallet easily i swiped it off the dresser turning on my heels, my eyes were meet with the blue ones of jj, him and another girl, i hadn't seen this one before and i didn't really care enough to stay and figure out what she looked like. I simply smirked knowingly at jj before waving off his wink strutting out of the room, closing the door on my way out. JJ and i have a odd history i can tell you that, but that never stopped us from being close, we had a lot in common when we had first meet and had remained close ever since, maintaining a almost more than friendly relationship but never anything more than a flirting glace was ever shared between us. I head back to where i had made my makeshift bed, plopping down on the bead throwing my socks and shoes that i had put beside the bed on, placing my wallet in my back pocket and snatching my phone of the ground by the pillows before strutting out of the house, seeing john b. peacefully sitting on the hammock,

“Your going to poison people with the shit in your fridge, i'm going to the store to restock i'll be back in a little” i call out to him, seemingly starling him out of whatever thought he was in.

“Can you grab some skinny pop?” he called back sitting up, i put my thumb up in the air so he could see as i walked off towards the store already lost in my own thoughts. Before i knew it my feet had brought me to my destination, snapping me out of my tance of scrolling through instagram lost in thought. I looked up from my phone, tucking it in my back pocket and grabbing my shitty old leather wallet i had gotten from my dad for my 14th birthday decorated with pins from where he traveled do for his gigs, him being a famous musician and all he wasn't always home leaving me to do whatever i wished, he would text and tell me to be safe but other than hard drugs and teen pregnancy he was fine as long as whatever i did i did it safely or told him before or after doing it. He is just chill, and we got along great because of it. I pushed the door open causing the bells on the door to jingle, and a faint

“Hello, let me know if I can help you find anything” from the direction of the counter. I let out a small hum, giving a closed mouth smile in that direction, heading to the snack aisle, grabbing two bags of skinny pop, a bag of nacho doritos, and a bag of salted almonds, before heading to the drink aisle grabbing 6 arizona teas, and two snapples for myself knowing that a snapple can fix a hangover if mixed with a vitamin c packet, correctly that is. I shuffled back up to the front, gently putting everything up on the counter, looking up smiling at the boy at the counter, he smiled back before scanning my items quickly,

“wait “ i called out louder than expected making him flinch and look up, i quickly stuck my hand in back pocket pulling out the lump of yarn unfolding it revealing a crochet bag, widespread between each knots, holding it out the the young boy before smiling,

“Can you put my stuff in here? You know how bad the pollution can get with those plastic bags and the ocean” i giggled as he nodded slowly gently taking the bag from my hands, smiling a small smile at me before loading my stuff up and telling me a price, i fished out the money and payed him before grabbing my bag slinging it over my shoulder and walking out of the store, heading back to the chateau.

----------------------------------------

When I arrived back at the chateau, John b. Was still laying out on the hammock, i gently walked over to him , reaching into my bag and pulling out a skinny pop and handing it to him, before smiling as he tore it open like a starving child and dug in,

“Thank you” he said popcorn bits flying out of his already full mouth, causing my nose to scrunch up in disgust, i simply shook my head and headed back inside waving at him. As i walked in the house i saw kie still asleep on the couch, i giggled quietly at her before moving around the couch heading to the kitchen to find pope searching the fridge,

“Dude don't bother i already tied and got poisoned by the orange juice” i giggled setting the bag of snacks on the counter grabbing two arizona out and pushing the bag towards him, pope turned and examined the goods before grabbing the bag of doritos and a snapple, before smiling at me

“Thank you, you are truly and life saver” i giggled at the comment before heading back to the spare bedroom to see the door open, i strut in to see jj leaning back on the pillow hair a mess, no shirt just his boxers barely covered by the thin sheet on the guest bed, his vape in his hand.

“Sup loser, i brought you sum tea” i said to him strutting to the side of the bead he was on, holding a hand out with the tea in it, jj looked up, his ocean blue eyes meeting mine before a sly smirk spread across his face,

“Come ‘ere” he said grabbing my waist pulling me down onto the bed, both of erupting into giggles as i land on my back next to him his torso still leaning over me, his hair dangling down, framing his face perfectly, his dimples in his perfectly tanned face,his- NO damit sunny stop it he's your friend, i had noticed both of our laughter had died down and we were both just smiling at one another. I scrunch my nose up before dropping the Arizona in one of my hands before using it to shove it his face away from me groaning at the smirk he gave me when he leaned onto his side, raising his eyebrows at me.

“Just shut up and drink your damn tea” I said , handing him one. Grumbling to myself as i popped the lid of mine open and took a sip from it, i sighed laying back onto the bed and closing my eyes just enjoying the sounds of nature , and jj gulping down the cold beverage like no tomorrow, i sighed, rolling over to the side of the bed, swinging my legs over the side looking down when my feet hit something thin and soft. My eyes gaze down to see JJ's muscle tee laying on the floor, sighing. I reach down, swiping it off the ground and balling it up. Turning slightly to see JJ scrolling on his phone and a crushed, now empty, Arizona can sitting on the bedside table beside him. I ball up his shirt before throwing it with a little power behind it, it flew through the air and fan itself out as it plopped on his head causing him to pick off the piece of clothing on his head and give me a look of confusion.

“Get dressed i'm sure everyones ready to go out on the water for the day already and you're lagging” I say standing up and flashing him a smile before heading back to the kitchen to get some chips before the other pogues ate them all.

[a-singleboat]

Locked In

Word Count: 4.1k

Request: great! you’re a really good writer! could I get a Shayne Topp x Reader where they end up doing a bunch of romantic scenes together in a sketch, like slow dancing and a nice dinner and the cuddles, and you guys have been flirting constantly for months and after the shoot Damien, Court, Ian and everyone lock you two in a room because they’re TIRED of it not going anywhere - @mrtopphaasmyheart​

A/N: this actually turned out a lot longer than i thought it would... sorry not sorry!

It was Saturday night when they emailed out the filming schedules for the upcoming month. You were sitting at home, reading a book and being “insanely boring” as your friends had so eloquently put it. 

But as much as you had wanted to go out with your old college friends, that week of filming had really taken a toll on you and your body. Now, as a YouTube personality, you weren’t required to do your own stunts due to the fact that stuffed dolls could easily take your place for comedic effect. However, being a former stuntwoman for a few months during college, you loved the adrenaline crashing through a window or two gave you. 

As Smosh’s stunt coordinator, that meant you weren’t on screen as often as your coworkers. Which is why the upcoming month’s filming schedule shocked you. Aside from a Try Not to Laugh and a few Smosh Gaming videos, you were also scheduled in an Every Blank Ever. Namely, the Every Valentine's Day Ever video. 

Considering Valentine’s Day was a little less than a month out, it wasn’t weird that they wanted to get this video recorded and on its way to editing. What was weird was the fact that most of your filming blocks aligned with Shayne Topp’s. 

It wasn’t a secret that you were the group flirt. Next to Courtney, you were both the most notorious for flirting with your coworkers on screen and, in your case, off. 

But with Shayne… It started five months ago. Five months ago, your harmless flirting turned into something a little more than for-good-fun. 

Five months ago, the flirty little winks you sent in his direction meant more than something friendly and the words exchanged turned into something more than just words. But you were sure that was all you. 

There was no way Shayne felt the same for you. After all, he was an extremely friendly guy and he acted that way to everyone. That was your best defense. That he was just really nice. 

You shook your head as if the motion would shake the thoughts from your mind. You closed your book and laptop, shoving both items off to the side. You reached over and clicked your bedside lamp off, settling in for the night. 

You’d figure it out in the morning, you decided, closing your eyes and letting sleep take you off to another world.

The next morning, you met up with Courtney and Olivia for your weekly Sunday brunches. You had settled on a new place, rather than your regular brunch spot. The only difference was this place offered outdoor seating, which was nice despite the fact that it was still January and it was sixty degrees Fahrenheit. 

You guessed you could blame the warmer-than-average weather on global warming. 

“What’d you do yesterday, Olivia?” you asked as Courtney wrapped up her recount on the movie night she had with one of her many siblings. They had gone out to watch The Turning, much to her sister’s amusement and to Courtney’s torture. 

“I just hung out with Sam,” Olivia revealed, shrugging. “Wrote in my filming schedule in my planner.”

You took a sip of your mimosa, nodding along. “Yeah, I had a mellow weekend too.” 

Courtney kicked your foot under the table. “But did you see who you were paired with for, like, eighty percent of the scenes, Y/n?”

You shrugged, setting your drink down. “Shayne? Yeah, I saw it.”

Courtney poked you this time. “For the Valentine’s scenes. You know, the romantic stuff!”

She wiggled her eyebrows as you fought to keep the smile off your face. “We won’t even be shooting those until Wednesday.”

You and Shayne had about three or four romantic scenes in the Every Blank Ever, marked ‘Breakfast in Bed,’ ‘Dinner,’ ‘Proposal’ (which was a continuation of ‘Dinner’), and one unspecified scene. You figured they’d tell you what the unspecified scene was when it came time to film it. 

“So that means you have until Wednesday to fantasize all about it,” Olivia said, wiggling her fingers like she was a wizard spreading magic. 

You laughed slightly, shaking your head. You held up a hand and asked your waiter for your check. You thanked them when they brought over the little black book, shooing off your two friends as they tried to poke fun of you. 

As the baby of the group, you figured a little teasing was warranted. It came with the territory. 

But by the time Wednesday rolled around, you figured your status of the baby of the group wouldn’t help you much. 

Sarah Whittle, one of your bosses, stood near you as you did up your own makeup. She was waiting patiently for the curler to heat up so she could do up your hair, making you feel much like she was your mom helping you get ready for Prom night. 

“You ready for today's scenes, Y/l?” she asked in a teasing manner. 

You rolled your eyes and took a break from applying your mascara to stick your tongue out at the older woman like the child you were. 

“It’s the breakfast in bed scene first,” you complained as you nearly poked your eye out with the wand. “Why do I need to have my hair curled if I just woke up?”

Sarah picked up the curler after sliding on the black cloth glove that was designed so that she couldn’t burn herself too badly with the heated stick of metal. 

“Well, you’re going to be wearing a hair covering for this scene so your curls can set for the dinner scene,” Sarah explained before winking. “Plus, it’d be less work for me later.”

Since Sarah had already sectioned off your hair, it made it easier for her to curl the pieces and then pin them up with bobby pins to keep them secure. Once she finished, she reached over and grabbed a patterned shower cap and slid it on over the little bundles of curled hair. 

She explained that the residue heat would essentially act like one of those giant hair dryers that you would sit under at a hair salon, but with less health risks. 

After you were finished with hair and makeup, you were ushered off to costume where you were given a nightgown and a robe.

You thanked whatever deity was up there that you had been provided a robe before making your way to set, passing a dressed up Courtney, who waved enthusiastically at you. You resisted the urge to jokingly throw up the middle finger at your friend, instead choosing to wave back and give a tight smile that showed off your discomfort. 

Thankfully, Ian was the scene’s director, which immediately put you at ease. It wasn’t that you had anything against the others. In fact, you loved being able to work with Ryan. It was just the fact that since coining Ian as your Smosh dad, you found it easier to perform better in scenes like these if someone you had already been emotionally vulnerable with was the one behind the steering wheel.

“Okay,” Ian said, clapping his hands together. “Y/n, you’re going to wake up and maybe yawn a little, and then Shayne is going to come in with a tray of food. I want you to take a bite, and chew through it while pretending you like it. You got that?”

You shucked your robe, handing it off to one of the assistants that were on hand. You gave him a thumbs up before settling into the bed, moving down so it looked like you were sleeping. 

You waited, counted three breaths, before you heard Ian call, “Action.”

You waited two more breaths before ‘waking up,’ yawning and groggily rubbing your eyes. You sat up in bed, moving yourself so that your back was flush to the headboard. 

“Good morning, Sweetie,” Shayne said, pretending to have come through a door. He made his way over to the bed and set the tray over your lap. You smiled at him, imagining what domestic life with Shayne would actually be like.

“Good morning,” you replied, remembering that this was a scripted moment. “What’d you make for me?”

Shayne settled into the bed next to you, pointing at each item as he listed them off. “I made the pancakes I made you on our first morning together, as well as the scrambled eggs that I know you love so much, and I got you some orange juice in a mug with a heart on it that I found from our local flea market.”

You acted like it was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for you. Putting on a face that would read to the audience that you two were madly in love. “Oh, honey. I love it, thank you!”

You kissed his cheek, thinking nothing of it as you moved onto the next part of Ian’s directions to you. You put a spoonful of eggs into your mouth, making a face at the ‘taste.’

“Do you like it?” Shayne asked, still in character. 

You made a face that was halfway between joy and disgust, acting like it was the worst thing you’ve ever eaten. “It’s great, Steve.”

Ian called for a cut and you reached out beside you as the assistant from earlier rushed to hand you a bucket. You spat out the food, scraping your teeth along your tongue to get the residue egg out of your mouth. 

She handed your your robe next, to which you replied, “Thank you, Julia,” before pulling the article of clothing on. 

Shayne threw an arm around your shoulders as you got out of bed, pulling you back and wrapping his arms around you. You laughed, feeling your cheeks burn with half embarrassment and half oh-my-God-what-is-he-doing. 

“They got us up this early, they can give us a few minutes to nap,” he declared, settling his head atop yours the best he could in the awkward position he had put you in. It was nothing new, Shayne being touchy with you, but this time was different. You couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, but you knew something had changed. 

Maybe it was the fact that you had just filmed a scene in which you both were a couple. The fake engagement ring that sat on your finger reminded you of that. The fact that this was fake. 

“Come on,” Ian scolded, a laugh also written across his face. “The sooner you both get through the next three scenes, the sooner you can go home.” 

You wriggled out of Shayne’s grasp, laughing as he tried to tickle your sides. It wasn’t the fact that you were insanely ticklish, no. It was the fact that his hands on you felt so undeniably right, that your brain had thought of no other reaction but to laugh. 

“Alright,” you surrendered, “I’ll go. I’ll see you at dinner, Mr. Topp.” 

He kneeled on the bed, raising up from his sitting position. He bent at the waist jokingly, a goofy grin on his face. 

“Until then, Ms. Y/l.” 

You gave him a two-finger salute in farewell before disappearing from set, making your way back to hair and makeup. There, Sarah awaited you, anxious to take out the pins and reveal her ‘masterpiece.’

Once your hair was revealed, which did look insanely good, you set to work on applying a modest amount of makeup, knowing that the amount of lights on the set would even out your complexion. 

From years in show business, you’d learned that a healthy medium between your normal everyday makeup and stage makeup was the way to go when filming in a closed set. As far as you knew, you wouldn’t be filming outside or in any dark or enclosed spaces. 

When you were carted off to costume, you were glad to trade out your nightgown and robe with a red dress that really did flatter your figure in the best ways. You gave Lindsay a spin when she asked you to before being carted off to set for the second time that day. 

Luckily, you’d be in the same outfit for the next three scenes you had to film that day, which meant no more back and forth between departments. 

You thanked whatever deity was up there because ten minutes in and the heels Lindsay had put you in were already cutting off circulation to your toes. 

“Okay,” Ian said, and clapped again. It was a habit of his that didn’t look like it was going anywhere soon. “For this scene, we’re going to film the dinner and proposal all in one and splice it in editing and whatever. I’ll stop you if I want to give a little more direction, but you know what you’re doing and so does Shayne.”

You smiled at Ian’s attempt at easing up your nerves. No matter how fake, getting proposed to was always a nerve-wracking experience. 

Shayne walked up to set next, dressed up and looking a little extra fancy. 

You bumped his hip as they set up the scene, threading your arms through his. “You clean up nice.”

He smirked. “I could say the same for you, Y/n.”

You felt the heat rise into your cheeks, hating that Shayne could get any kind of reaction from you. 

You heard Ian call action and immediately started walking. The two of you gossiped about the “hot new Italian restaurant” your boss recommended before arriving at the entrance. 

“Hello,” Damien greeted them, an Italian accent gracing his lips. “Do you have a reservation with us tonight?”

Shayne stepped forward a little. “Yes, Copper. That’s C-O-P-P-E-R.”

“Copper,” Damien repeated, though his accent botched the pronunciation a little for comedic effect. “Ah, yes. C-O-P-P-E-R. Right this way.”

Damien ‘led’ you to your table, though in all reality, the cameras cut as the set changed slightly, the restaurant tables coming in and some of your coworkers coming in to fill the seats around you. 

Damien asked for your order in proper waiter fashion before dashing off to ‘fetch your drinks.’

You leaned in, tucking some hair behind your ear as to not obscure your face from the cameras. “Babe, this place is really fancy. Are you sure you can afford this?”

Shayne scoffed and brushed you off. “Of course, I can afford this!”

He made a joke loudly, and you laughed nervously, looking around and apologizing to the other patrons of the bar as scripted. 

“Babe,” you hissed. “Quiet down, people are staring!”

He scoffed again, doing his little bit before returning to the script. 

“Let them stare!” he announced, climbing onto the table. Your eyes widened as you held onto the table, even though you fully well knew that it was bolted down to the set. 

“Ramona, I am in love with you and have been since I first swiped right,” he declared, putting his hand to his heart. He jumped off the table and leaned over to another table, taking the engagement ring right off an extra’s finger. 

You watched as she acted offended, storming off with her fiance. 

You returned your attention to Shayne, who was down on one knee in front of you. “Ramona, will you marry me?” 

You looked around, acting shocked and repulsed by what had just taken place. You gave it a few moments, waiting for the comedic timing to line up, before bursting out into fake tears and saying yes. 

The crowd around you burst into cheers, you could hear your coworkers clapping and calling out congratulations as Shayne held you in his arms. 

Ian called cut but Shayne didn’t let you go, holding you around the waist with one arm instead of two. 

You saw Ian and Courtney exchanged glances with Damien, but thought nothing of it, enjoying the feeling of Shayne’s arms around you. You looked up at him, staring into his bright baby blues. 

“What do you think the next scene is?” you asked him, leaning into his side. His arm tightened around you.

“I don’t know but I hope it's something to do with dessert,” you said excitedly. 

Shayne cocked an eyebrow at you, causing you to realize the secondary meaning to your words. You slapped his pec, unsurprisingly meeting the hard muscle there, before slapping yourself in the face for not realizing it sooner.

“That’s not what I meant,” you insisted, separating yourself from him. You crossed your arms over your chest as he laughed at what you had said. You ended up laughing a little as well, walking away from the set and kicking off the heels. 

While they were absolutely beautiful, they also made your feet hurt like hell. The assistant, Julia, offered you your casual shoes and you took them, making a mental note to get the woman a gift basket or something sometime in the future. 

Ian came up to you as you were sliding on your Crocs, clicking the toes together happily as your feet were enveloped in the surprisingly comfy croslite. 

“You ready for this next scene?” Ian asked, taking a sip out of his mug. It was nearing lunchtime now, meaning they had less than an hour to film this next bit. 

“Does that mean you’re going to finally let me know what the scene is?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow. He chuckled and patted your back. 

“You’ll figure it out,” he said, clapping your shoulder. “It’s all improv but you’re both extremely great at that!”

You winced at his tone of voice, not believing him at all yet you allowed him to lead you and Shayne into one of the prop closets, already decked out with studio lights and everything.

The presence of the lights put your mind at ease and considering you were wearing a red dress paired with your bright yellow crocs, you crossed your fingers in hopes that they weren’t about to record anything past waist level. 

Ian pushed Shayne into the closet slightly, causing the man to tumble into you. He caught you around the waist while reflexively grabbing hold of a shelf fixed to one of the walls. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks once more, glad that his attention was more focused on making sure the two of you weren’t about to collapse onto the floor right then and there. 

Once he got the two of you back on your own two feet, you wheeled around, ready to confront Ian but was met with a closed prop door. 

You approached the door knob and twisted it, to find that it was locked. You shook it in hopes that this was one of the closets that would just slide open to no avail. You and Shayne were stuck in the closet with one of the hottest stage lights the company owned. 

“We’ll be back in thirty minutes,” you heard Ian call out, the sounds of Courtney and Damien snickering coming from beyond the door. 

“You’re dead, Hecox!” you shouted before resigning. “They’re not gonna let us out in thirty, minutes, are they?”

Shayne chuckled, trying to make the best of the situation. He had already made himself comfy on one of the wooden chests. 

Then, the stage light shut off and that’s when the panic set in. 

“Oh, my God,” you freaked, eyes going wide. The only light was now the half-dead emergency bulb in the ceiling of the prop closet, leaving the both of you in what was essentially the dark. You turned around and started to pound on the door, calling for your boss, Courtney, anybody. At one point, you found yourself calling for the assistant that had followed you around all day. 

“We’re going to die in here,” you lamented, leaning up against a wall. 

Shayne hopped off the chest and came over to you, grabbing your arm and pulling you into his chest. 

“We’ll be fine,” he comforted. “It was probably just a blackout. We’ve been getting them around the studios pretty often recently. They’ll probably come back for us in a few minutes when they realize that the building’s powerless.

You nodded, calming yourself down in his arms. He was right. The crew wouldn’t leave you in here during a blackout… would they?

You started to think about how much of a safety and fire hazard leaving the two of you in here would be and started to panic again. 

“Shayne,” you whimpered. “What if they can’t get back to us? If the building is on lock down then they wouldn’t be able to use their key cards to get us out and I don’t even think Ian remembers where he put the backup keys and--”

You were cut off by a pair of lips covering yours. You let out a muffled noise of surprise, before closing your eyes and leaning into the kiss. Your hands flew to his hair as he pulled you even closer, if humanly possible. 

Now, when someone tells you that the fireworks aren’t real, they probably weren’t doing it right because here, with Shayne, it was like the Fourth of July. You felt the lust, the passion, the absolute adoration for the man that held you in his arms well up inside you until you had to pull away for air. 

You pulled back, struggling to regain control over your breathing. You looked up into his brilliant baby blues and searched for a reason behind what he had just done. 

“Uh,” he licked his lips, “you were panicking and I had to do something so that you wouldn’t pass out or--”

You cut him off that time, standing up on your toes to meet him with another kiss, just as passionate as the last. 

“What was that for?” he asked, when you finally pulled back. 

You bit your lip. “I’ve liked you for a long time,” you finally admitted. “And it sucks that it took our coworkers locking us in a room together that I finally grew up and did something about it.”

Shayne glanced at the still-closed doors. “Yeah, those assholes. Forcing me to get kissed twice by the woman that I am deeply infatuated with.”

He kissed you again, laughing as your lips met. You pulled back and kissed his cheek and then down his jaw, settling one last kiss over his lips for good measure. 

“You know, we should totally fuck with them,” you proposed, a hint of playfulness behind your eyes. “And then go home and figure this out on our own terms.”

Shayne’s eyes met yours with the same intentions behind his eyes as yours. “Are you thinking that I’m thinking?”

You nodded before kissing him again, and again, and again…

It was forty-five minutes later until your coworkers came to your rescue. 

Putting your plan into action, you crossed your arms and turned your head away from him. You were sure there were still black tear marks down your face from when you had started crying earlier, after realizing the power in the building had gone out. 

Ian was the first to apologize upon seeing your disheveled state. Thankfully, he had taken the state of your hair and makeup as a sign you were actually distraught. He apologized, along with the others, for locking you in the prop closet in the first place. 

You told them it was okay and that you just wanted to go home after the ordeal you had been through. 

Surprisingly, you had managed to escape the building an hour later. You met Shayne by your car, giggling as he grabbed you around the waist. He peppered your face with kisses before setting you down, allowing you to unlock your car. 

He entered from the other side as you thanked whatever deity was up there for making today one of the days he had decided to carpool with Damien. His excuse was that he was just going to Uber back to his place, seeing as it wasn’t that far from the studio.

Although that was a load of bull, the two of you were heading back to your apartment to work things out. 

“Those idiots,” Shayne joked as you pulled out of the lot. “They were none the wiser.”

You laughed as you drove away from the building. “I’m sure they’ll figure it out by tomorrow. After all, I’m your ride in tomorrow.”

Shayne shrugged, reaching over the console to grab your hand. “I’m fine with that. As long as I get you all to myself for tonight.” 

“I’m fine with that,” you said, a grin on your face. You would spend an eternity with him if it meant you got moments like these in the future. And you were fine with that.

[maybedefinitely404]

American Dream

Genre: angst with a happy ending/fluff

Pairing: romantic Dukexiety 

World: just-out-of-high-school AU

Content: homophobia, threatened abuse from parents (no actual violence), extreme cold, getting kicked out, minor religious talk, getting outed, AIDS and death mention, fluffy Dukexiety because my heart needs it.

Word count: 2.3k

Comments: She doesn’t have Tumblr, but I need to give a shout out to my kiddo for proof reading and beta-ing most of my fics. She pushes me to write more, and even if she won’t see this, I just need to say it.  

This fic is inspired by the song American Dream by MKTO.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up… 

The night coolness spread through Virgil like a sickness. It was unforgiving, toxic, seeped with the memories of the evening that curled through his stomach in dark tendrils. Below his bare feet, the sidewalk burned in the way that only ice does, small pebbles digging into his soles. He would do anything for socks. God, why hadn’t he grabbed socks? 

Probably for the same reason he hadn’t grabbed shoes. 

Please pick up, please pick up, c’mon, pick up already!

His eyes hurt. They already burned with unshed tears that he’d still been too scared to release, and the cool air didn’t help. Crying on the street was a vulnerability he wasn’t ready to face. His lungs burned. He’d been sprinting non-stop for who knows how long. His own panicked gulps for air and the all-too-loud hum of a blinking streetlight were the only sound on the silent street. Virgil had been watching the moths swarm at the fixture for who knows how long, finding odd solace in the fact that at least there was still some life in the darkness. They were still alive, untouched, same as they were yesterday and probably the same as they would be tomorrow, unfazed by the complete turmoil his life had become. And that was somewhat comforting. 

“Virgie, you okay? It’s almost midnight!”

Thank fucking god. He opened his mouth to speak, to explain to Remus what had happened. Obviously, Remus would care. That wasn’t a doubt in his mind; that was the only reason he wasn’t anxious as all fuck right now… about the call, that is. He was anxious about approximately everything else. But as soon as the first noise made its way past his lips, the first utterance of a plea for help, everything that he’d been holding back burst forth like a broken dam. He clamped his hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the loud sobbing that he suddenly couldn’t contain.

“Shit. Virgil, what happened? I’m coming over. Are you at home?”

That’s the issue. “No,” he gasped, mildly surprised he hadn’t crushed the phone with the way his grip tightened, “I got kicked out.”

“What the fuck?!”

Virgil flinched. “Can… can you come p-pick me up? I’m at the corner of Jackson and Pullard. Please, please, come get me…”

“Yes. Absolutely. I’m on my way. Stay there, okay?”

Virgil hung up reluctantly after agreeing, not wanting his boyfriend to drive while on the phone, even if Remus gladly would have done it. In fact, he’d used to do it all the time; text, eat, do his makeup, all while cruising down the freeway. He’d only put a stop to it when he saw how much it affected Virgil.  

He counted down the minutes on his phone, always having been nitpicky with times, knowing that it shouldn’t take Remus more than ten minutes to get there. If he remembered correctly where he was at the moment, that is. Remus had gotten kicked out of his parents’ house in his senior year of high school after a bad fight. They’d never really been great parents, always showing favoritism towards his brother (amongst other things), and he was more than willing to leave. Virgil had tried to beg his parents to let Remus stay with them, but they’d downright refused, calling him a bad influence and a string of other insults that Virgil didn’t even like to think about. God forbid what would happen if they found out the two were dating.

…Well, they did now. And God hadn’t exactly forbidden what they’d done. 

But Remus hadn’t had a solid place to live since it had happened almost a year ago. He couch surfed for a while, bouncing between some old friends who had now gone off to college, or just lived in his car. He’d made it work, and had claimed to Virgil that he actually didn’t mind it that much. If he was telling the truth, Virgil wasn’t sure. He’d saved up some money and bought an inflatable mattress that filled up his back seat area, and Virgil was able to give him his family’s old camping stove by convincing them they lost it. It’s not like they’d gone camping since he was a kid, anyways. Last he’d checked, Janus was home for break and Remus was staying with him for the two weeks he was in town, but those two weeks were probably pretty close to done. Unfortunately, Virgil and Janus had never gotten along, so Remus didn’t bring him up. It was a mutual understanding. 

As soon as Remus’ car pulled up to the curb, ten minutes on the dot, Virgil basically flung himself into the passenger seat. The car was warm, so so warm, he almost cried again, this time in relief. Remus pulled back onto the road as soon as he was buckled on. 

“Vee, what happened?” It wasn’t hard to guess, there were only so many reasons his parents would have to kick him out. He’d narrowed it down to his parent’s finally having it with Virgil’s tattoo artist dream, or… well… 

“Someone at my mom’s work found my Instagram. She went up to my mom, basically started gushing about ‘how handsome I was with my boyfriend’. Specifically the picture of us at Pride from a couple years ago.”

“Ah.” Remus knew the picture well. He’d printed it out and it was pinned to the inside of his sun visor. 

“Yeah. Mom called my dad, they were both waiting when I got home. Had screenshots and everything. They grilled me about ‘dishonoring God’ and ‘throwing away my life’. Said I was gonna get AIDS. Die before twenty five. Ya know. The whole lecture.”

Remus didn’t. Surprisingly, him being gay was not a concern of his parent’s. His brother was gay too, and they didn’t give a rat’s ass about that. He nodded along anyways.

“They went on for so long. It was insane. Then they dropped the whole ‘you’re not our son’ thing-” Virgil’s voice cracked, but he swallowed around the lump in his throat and continued, “I figured this is where it was leading to, them kicking me out? I thought they’d give me time to pack, though. Except my dad started getting physical-”

“HE WHAT?!” Remus was tempted to turn the fucking car around and drive to Virgil’s house, just to give his parents a piece of his mind. He was fuming; fuck, he hadn’t been this mad in a while.

“Relax, Rem. I got out before he could actually land a hit. That’s why I don’t have anything with me. I had to run.”

“Doesn’t make it any better.”

“I know.” Virgil pulled his feet up onto the seat cross legged, trying to rub some feeling back into them. Luckily, they weren’t bleeding, just cold as hell. That was one less thing to worry about. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Of course, Vi,” Remus’ voice had taken on a softer edge that he rarely allowed anyone to see, and he reached over to take one of Virgil’s hands into his own, “Speaking of which, why were you on Jackson? That’s, what, three miles away from your house?”

“When I say I ran, I mean literally. I was scared they would follow me.” Virgil shrugged, as if the statement wasn’t the most heartbreaking thing Remus had ever heard. “I wasn’t thinking clearly, I just ran. That’s why it took me so long to realize I should call you.”

Remus sighed, letting his thumb run against Virgil’s knuckles. “You don’t have to act all brave, Vi.”

“I don’t think I ever saw you cry when you got kicked out.”

“That’s because I didn’t love my parents. I honestly didn’t. I know your parents mean a lot to you. And I’m sorry it went down like it did.”

It was the truth, but he honestly didn’t want to think about it right now. What kind of loving family kicks out their child? Virgil took a shaky breath in and mumbled, “Can we talk about it tomorrow?”

“Okay. Let’s talk about something else. What’s our plan?”

Virgil was quiet for a long moment, as if deep in thought. He watched the scenery fade from his suburban area of town to the darker, rural parts of the town’s edge, not knowing or caring where they were driving. The escape from street lights was nice. “Why do we need a plan?”

Remus’ eyebrows shot up at the sudden playful tone in Virgil’s words. “Oh?”

“I mean, is anything really holding us here?” 

“My, my,” Remus crooned, pulling into an empty lot and parking in the furthest spot from the street, “I thought I was the impulsive one.”

“I’m serious, Rem!” Virgil laughed, swatting lightly at Remus’ hand. The happy sound was like music to his ears. “I’m dead serious! What’s keeping us here?”

“Patton? Logan?”

“Both across the country. And you know they’re considering staying there when they graduate.” Janus’ name was an understood thing. They both knew his school was barely an hour from the other two. Even if Virgil couldn’t stand the guy, he knew that Remus and Janus went far back. Judging by Remus’ slowly brightening expression, he could assume that Janus would probably be down to stay there as well. 

“Work?”

“I work at Walmart. They won’t miss me. Try again.”

Remus scrunched his eyebrows almost thoughtfully, even though this was maybe the easiest decision he’d ever had to make. Plus, they both knew Remus didn’t really ‘think’ in general. “It almost sounds like you want to take a roadtrip, my little emo.”

Virgil scrunched his nose at the nickname, but let a wider smile spread across his tear stained cheeks. “I kind of do.”

Remus shut the car off, turning to his boyfriend with a shit eating grin. “I like this new side of you.”

“Well…” Virgil’s voice turned sheepish under the almost cheshire cat level expression, “Should we?”

“Let’s make up our minds tomorrow.” Remus stated, gesturing to the mattress behind him, “Sleep for tonight. You must be exhausted, coming up with ideas like this.”

Virgil grumbled under his breath, something about ‘not being a baby’, but clambered into the backseat after Remus, double checking the locks on the doors as he went. The air mattress was comfier than he thought it would be, and it was only made better when Remus pulled him in like a teddy bear, tugging a blanket over them. They both sighed in contentment, then promptly burst out laughing at the synchronicity.  

“Oh my god, what have we become?” Remus gasped, pulling Virgil in closer nonetheless. Virgil snorted in response, looking up to meet Remus’ eyes through a haze of sudden exhaustion and amusement. The laughter died down slowly as they both gave in to their fatigue, finishing the day with a slow kiss that left them both breathless. Virgil fell asleep with plans forming and circulating through his mind, the rest of the evening almost forgotten.

--------------------------------------------

His parents were at work, and Virgil knew their kitchen window didn’t lock properly, which was what led to him stuffing everything he could into a black duffel bag while Remus kept watch from his car. He wasn’t too concerned about the parents coming home, but it gave him ample time to look over the map he’d bought from the gas station that morning and plan a route. He didn’t want to admit that his leg was shaking from pure excitement. This idea had been somewhere in the back of his mind for a long time, but he knew Virgil valued his relationship with his family and liked being near them, so he never brought it up. Granted, the situation wasn’t great, but he considered this ‘making the best of it’. A twisted paradise. 

He barely flinched as his trunk was thrown open and Virgil threw his bag inside before hopping back into his seat.

“Okay, so how about we drive up to Maine, apparently the sea food is legendary! Then we cut back through Ohio. There’s literally nothing in Ohio, but we can cross it off the list at least! And then-”

Virgil laughed, cutting him off, “I thought we weren’t planning!”

“Well, we need at least a rough idea,” Remus said with a pout, “What we do there and how long we stay, that’s up to impulse. I was thinking we should try to get through all the states, wouldn’t that be cool?”

Virgil could only nod, leaning forward to kiss Remus again. “Sounds amazing,” he murmured, so close they were almost touching. They’d talked to Logan and Patton earlier that morning, and they were equally as excited for the two of them. Remus had called Janus while Virgil was packing, quickly explaining the situation (and also why Remus had disappeared in the middle of the night), and Janus supported it. Made sense, since he was almost as impulsive as Remus. Plus, he was going back to school in a couple days, so it didn’t make much of a difference. That said, they still didn’t have a time limit. Their friends were just starting second semester, meaning they could schedule themselves to arrive in California for summer break, or they could spend longer on the road. But schedules are for chumps. 

As they rolled out of the quaint neighborhood Virgil had grown up in, Remus reached down and took his hand again. “Say goodbye to white picket fences.” And god, the joyful expression on Virgil’s face was enough to make him melt.

By the time they hit the freeway, they were both nearly shaking with anticipation. Virgil stuck his hands out the sunroof, the wind whipping through his hair, and let out a whoop that was almost contagious. This was the start of something amazing, they both felt it. 

Cali, here we come.

[lyssismagical]

Boy, I'm so happy, we have been heaven-blessed

Parkner Week Day Eight: “Get some rest tall child” / cuddling / movie nights

 “Babe, babe, babe, babe-”

“Oh my god, what do you want?” Peter says. He sounds annoyed, but Harley knows better. “I’m trying to work, believe it or not.”

“I believe it. You don’t have to convince me on that.” Harley sits up on Peter’s bed, rolling his eyes for the thousandth time since he’d gotten to Peter’s dorm room. “Why am I here when you’re not even paying attention to me? You’re not even looking at me.”

“I don’t have to see you to know you’re pouting like a baby,” Peter mutters, scribbling some more words down into his notebook with his pen. He shoves the pen between his teeth so he could flip through his heavy textbook and try to find a page in the stack next to him.

Harley sighs dramatically. “But I’m your baby, aren’t I? Doesn’t that mean I’m allowed to pout?”

“Stop pouting and stop whining. I’m trying to work, Harls.”

“How do you know I’m pouting if you won’t even look at me?” Harley exclaims, throwing his arms up in frustration. It started out as a game, but now he’s starting to feel a little bit cast aside.

“Are you pouting?”

“…Maybe.”

Peter finally sets down his pen and turns to Harley from his desk, a smile gracing his lips. He looks pretty as always, but Harley can’t help but notice how tired he looks.

“Ned said he was going to move out if he found us in the same bed again,” Peter says instead of acknowledging their entire conversation. “I think he was serious. MJ’s roommate doesn’t live with her anymore.”

Harley rolls his eyes and dramatically flops back onto the bed. “When was the last time we went on an actual date?”

“We went out last weekend, Harley.” Peter’s still smiling, but there’s insecurity shining in his eyes, eyebrows creasing a little more than Harley would like.

“I just miss you.”

“You miss me?” Peter repeats. “Yet you’ve been literally lying a few feet away from me for the past two hours. I’m right here, Harley.”

Harley tips his head to the side, breathing in the soft scent of Peter on the pillow. “But I should be your number one priority.”

“Number one?”

“Mmhm, you’ll never get a catch like me ever again. I’m one of a kind, baby.”

Peter finally gives in and crawls into the bed beside Harley, unceremoniously dropping half onto Harley’s chest. Harley immediately wraps his arms around Peter’s waist, making sure Peter couldn’t leave even if he wanted to. Harley’s getting cuddles for as long as he wants them.

“You have no idea,” Peter mumbles, words muffled by Harley’s sweater.

Harley grins and presses a kiss to Peter’s hair. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Now, get some rest, tall child.”

*

“You know, I thought you were going to murder me when we first met,” Harley says, out of the blue on the next morning. They’re still in bed despite it being way past the appropriate time for sleeping in, even for a weekend. “I literally thought you were going to poison my food or something.”

“What?” Peter says, stifling his laughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I thought you’d be as jealous as I was, I just figured you’d act on that jealousy and murder me so you’d be Tony’s only intern.”

This time, Peter does laugh, hiding his flushed face in Harley’s shoulder. “You thought I would get so jealous, I would poison your food? You know how crazy that sounds, right?”

“I thought about killing you. I just knew it was an irrational idea, I didn’t know if you’d think it was irrational too.”

Peter bites on his bottom lip, trying to quiet his laughter. It makes his cheeks puff up a little bit like chipmunks, face rosy and eyes sparkling.

“I can’t believe you thought, even for a moment, that killing me was the appropriate reaction to being jealous.”

“I’m from Tennessee, Peter. Anything goes.”

Peter ducks his head again, muffling his laughter in Harley’s sweater. “That’s- I can’t believe you.”

“Tony thought so too!” Harley exclaims. Peter doesn’t have to see to know Harley’s rolling his eyes. “Maybe not that we’d kill each other, but he thought we’d hate each other.”

“No,” Peter says, voice dropping to a little more serious. “I knew from that first moment I saw you that this was going to be something special.”

Harley smiles, going all soft and mushy in a heartbeat. “I love you like an insane amount. Like I don’t think there’s anything I wouldn’t do if you asked. I’ve never felt like this before, and if I’m being honest, it really scares me sometimes.”

The younger of the two leans up to press a kiss to the older’s jaw. “You don’t have to be scared. I feel the same way, there’s no way I’m breaking your heart. It’s safe with me.”

“I know. Your heart’s safe with me too.”

“Good. Now that we’ve napped and talked, do you think you could let me get back to my homework now? I never got to finish it yesterday thanks to you.”

Harley laughs, relinquishing his grip on his boyfriend’s waist. “I should probably get going anyways. I’ve got a study group in a bit and then I’ve got a few errands to run in the city. Oh, and I think my sister’s calling to make spring break plans this afternoon.”

“You’re spending spring break with your sister?”

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten but Abbie’s going to UCLA. Her roommate’s boyfriend’s parents are super rich salespeople who are taking the roommate and boyfriend to Europe with them while they’re there for business. Abbie volunteered to housesit and pet-sit. Meaning…”

“Meaning she’s got a huge house to herself in California all week?”

Harley grins. “Precisely. If you want, I was thinking the two of us could crash with her all week. Morgan’s on her break too, and she’s offered to pay to fly us all out.”

“Morgan and Abbie in the same house for a whole week?” Peter repeats, rolling his eyes but the smile doesn’t even falter.

Laughing, Harley finally pulls away from Peter, stretching his arms. “Yeah, it’ll be interesting, for sure… I’ll let you get back to your homework. You want me to swing by again tonight?”

“Please?”

The one thing that’s been weird since they started school is that they have separate rooms. Harley lives on the other side of campus, closer to his own classes, so it’s normally easier for them to spend nights in their own rooms, despite being used to the opposite. Back in high school, May’s apartment was closer to Midtown than the Tower, so Harley would stay with Peter for conveniences sake, and weekends they spent together at the Tower.

Today’s a Saturday, though, so neither of them have obligations tomorrow.

Harley grins, leaning back to press a kiss to Peter’s forehead before he’s tugging on his shoes.

“I’ll stop at mine and grab some clothes and things, and I’ll be over this evening. Six?”

“Sounds good. Movie night?”

Opening up the door, Harley shoots a final smile over his shoulder. “I’ll bring snacks! I love you. See you tonight.”

“I love you too.”

The door shuts behind Harley and Peter falls back into his bed, breathing in the soft smell of Harley, boyish with a hint of the Tennessee smoke that he carries with him, and a bit of the cinnamon body wash he uses. He smiles up at the ceiling, feeling so warm with love and happiness.

* Late that evening, after Peter’s finished his homework from the week and cleaned his room and finished some laundry, after Harley showed up in a flurry of excitement and lit up joy, carrying a shopping bag of snacks for the night along with a few selections from his DVD collection, after they’ve made it through way too many snacks and a few movies, they’re curled up, trying not to fall asleep.

“I wanna marry you one day,” Harley blurts and then he laughs, no awkwardness or worry to it.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I wanna do one of those fancy weddings with all the components like the big, tiered cake, and the expensive suits, and the cute RSVP cards in the mail. Abbie and Morgan could be the flower girls or the ring bearers. Ned and Harry could be our best men and Cassie, MJ, and Gwen could all be our bridesmaids or whatever they’d be. We’d do one of those over-the-top bachelor parties, except we’d do it together because it wouldn’t be as fun to party without you. Tony would have to walk one of us down the aisle because May and Mom would want to do it. Or maybe Tony could officiate. And then we’d get on a plane the next morning for a crazy honeymoon.”

Peter smiles fondly, snuggling closer to his boyfriend and nearly knocking the laptop off their legs. “You’ve really thought about this, huh? Is this your way of proposing?”

“No,” Harley laughs. “I don’t have a ring and I’m going to do it right, when I do. The whole shebang. The expensive dinner, the dramatic speech, maybe I’ll do the stupid ring in the wine or something.”

He shakes his head against Harley’s chest. “I’d accidentally drink it. Don’t do that.”

Harley laughs again, peppering kisses over Peter’s face. “I just really want you to know that this is a forever thing, for me, you know? I want us to be forever. I want us to get engaged, to move in together, to get married, maybe we could think about kids. I’d even go for the white picket fence future if that’s what you wanted.”

“You’re such a sap,” Peter teases before he kisses Harley. “I want that too. Trust me, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina  @spidey-reids-2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed  @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester  @emo-girl10 @justme--emily  @hold-our-destiny @imalivebecauseirondad @spiderman-peterman @dykeragee @maryserrao @heeeyitskay @parknerandirondad @lilacsandlilies4 {Let me know if you wanna be added or removed}

[sunfloweradoring]

the one where five become four

masterlist

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone that has been following my writing recently, it’s absolutely insane to think nearly 300 people have read a couple of them! It means the world to me, so thank you <3 K xxx

word count: 2.7k

The boys had been on tour for a matter of months now; I couldn’t actually remember the last time I physically saw Harry. However, what got me through the lonely nights and long hours we couldn’t speak to each other was the knowledge I had - knowing he was doing what he loved and enjoyed above all else. There was only a few weeks of tour to go before they would all be home and with the people who loved them.

Everyone seemed just that little bit extra excited at this tour break because Zayn was to be getting married in this interlude. Perrie had kindly asked me to be a part of the wedding party, meaning me (along with many others of her close friends) had been beavering away back home, rigorously planning away from the wedding that seemed to be speeding towards us faster than we could process.

It made me so happy to see her so looking forward to the marriage - it was evident how she felt about him; and I couldn’t help but think about what it would be like for my own wedding. This year would be mine and Harry’s fifth together, and it only encouraged the small flame of excitement within me. Of course we’d spoken about marriage and the future we could have together, but he was yet to pop the question. I knew that it was definitely something I could do myself, but there was something in me that really wanted it to be Harry that asked me to be his wife - for the rest of our lives. 

I didn’t mind though, I was beyond happy where we were in our relationship currently. I felt so lucky to be a part of his hectic life and I loved to hear all the tour stories each time we got to sneak in a phone call or text. 

He really was the love of my life.

I couldn’t contain the smile that was threatening to come across my lips as I dialled Harry’s number and patiently listened to the dialling tone.

“Hello, love.” Harry’s gravely tone greeted me. Almost instantly, a frown took over my features as I pulled the phone away from my ear to quickly inspect the time. I’d been careful to leave my call late enough in the day to avoid waking him; yet his voice sounded like I’d done just that.

“Hiya, baby.” I gently responded. “Did I wake you up? I thought it was the afternoon or something there?” I questioned, leaning my body back against the pillows of our bed, my right hand absentmindedly stroking over his side of the bed as I spoke. There was a brief amount of shuffling on the other side of the phone before he spoke again.

“Y-yeah, it’s like three or something.” He replied. Now I was a little concerned. It really wasn’t like Harry at all to be so blunt on our phone calls - especially after so many weeks apart. Perhaps he was just feeling the distance particularly hard today, or recording hadn’t quite gone as smoothly as hoped. 

“You alright, Haz?” I was careful to keep my voice soft and smooth to prevent him from detecting my concern. 

“One sec,” Harry quickly replied before I heard his voice again, this time, though, at a distance from the phone. “Mate, I’m on the phone,” There was a muffled response from whoever ‘mate’ was. “No, I don’t wanna keep talking about it. We’re all in the same boat, here, I think we’ve talked about it enough for one day, don’t you think?” There was a brief moment of silence before: “You still there?”  I hummed in response, now completely confused as to what was taking place on his side of the the phone. 

“Baby...” My voice was met with a loud huff.

“Zayn’s thinking of taking a break.” He suddenly said. “He said he’s feeling too pressured and wants to go home for a week before coming back and continuing the tour.” Whatever I was expecting to be wrong, it certainly wasn’t anything like that.

“What?”

“He said we’ve been doing this almost nonstop for years and that he needs time to go home and breathe.”

“Oh my god.” I muttered, hand pushing the hair from my face. “Have you guys been talking about it all day? Is that what you just said?”

“Yeah; he just announced it at breakfast this morning and then just kinda shut himself in his room. He missed all the recording we were meant to be doing today. I don’t even know if he’s gonna come to the show tonight.”

“What are the others saying about it?” 

“Liam and Niall seem to having some sort of existential crisis about it. But honestly I’ve never seen Louis so angry before in my life.” As he spoke his words seemed to become more and more strained. 

“And you?” I spoke after he finished.

“What about me?”

“How do you feel about it?” His sniffles told me all I really needed to know but he did speak up after a minute.

“God I feel so conflicted.” His tone was a mixture of frustration, sadness and pure disappointment. I didn’t speak, allowing him time to continue. “This is like... the best thing that’s ever happened to me; this opportunity to go around doing things I love in different parts of the world, meeting fans, you know? And yeah, of course I understand the pressure he’s going on about; we’ve been putting out an album basically every year since X-Factor, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like a chore - it’s something I want to do. It’s something we all want to do!” Pause. “Well, I thought we all wanted to do it.” He added quietly. I really felt at a loss for words. I’d never heard Harry sound so manic before and I worried what would come of this new situation. 

“Are you coming home?” I asked.

“N-no. Well, at least, I don’t think we are. I think it’s just him.” Another silence came over the phone. I really didn’t know what to say to him that would make it any better. “Baby...” Harry trailed off.

“Yeah?”

“Can you come? I just... I just really need you here right now.” I could hear him feverishly fighting back tears.

“Do you want me to come?”

“Yeah...” It almost sounded like a child, desperately calling for the comfort of his mother.

“Of course I can, my love. I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

                                                    ----------------

I managed to get a late night flight out that same day, getting me in the next day, early morning for his timezone. The hours on the plane seemed to pass at a snail’s pace; I couldn’t contact Harry; I couldn’t see if there was any news about anything for that period of time - only fuelling my anxiety at the situation. 

Finally, though, the plane landed and I was able to get into the airport, through immigration and retrieve my bag without too much delay. My knee nervously bounced against the floor of the car the entire ride towards the hotel. Harry had already notified the reception that I was to be arriving, so they gave me a key to the room without trouble. I almost ran to the lift, pressing the button about four times; as if it somehow sped up the process. 

I scanned the numbers on the walls next to the doors as I made my way down the corridor; I was pretty sure that this entire floor was dedicated to the boys and their extensive team, but I wasn’t about to waste time knocking on a million different doors. As I came closer to the end of the corridor I could hear shouting from inside room 803. I quickly glanced down at my phone, open on the text Harry had sent me with the information for the hotel.

‘Mine is 803, they should give you a key but I’ll leave it open for you xxx’

I huffed out a breath, pulling my small suitcase to a stop as I reached out for the door-handle. Before I could pull it, however, the door swung open and a red faced Niall was stood in front of me. 

Since 2011 Niall had become one of my best friends. A part from Harry (obviously) he was the one I was closest to in the band. We shared many things and I’d often been the one he called for advice on girls, or even held him (in a purely platonic way, of course) as he cried about his most recent heartbreak. He’d also been my shoulder to cry on in the times Harry and I experienced a particularly tough fight and was always willing to help both of us out in any way he could. His surprise to be met with me was evident in the way he spoke my name.

“Hey.” He cleared his throat, rubbing his palm roughly against his face. “I guess you’ve heard, then?” He asked, stepping to the side to allow me to enter the room, seeming to have forgotten about his departure of the space.

“Yeah.” I nodded in sympathy, reaching out to rub a soothing hand up and down his arm. 

“I just can’t fucking believe he could do this.” Harry came into my view as Niall spoke, his eyes red rimmed. 

“He’s just stressed, I’m sure he’ll come round. Just let him go home for a few days and cool off.” I suggested, walking towards Harry to pull him into a hug. 

“Let him go home?” Niall repeated.

“She doesn’t know, Niall. She’s just got here.” Harry speaks, voice croaky. 

“Don’t know what?” I asked, keeping my arms around Harry’s middle as I pulled away enough to look up at him. 

“He’s gone.”

“Gone?” I spoke Niall’s words again, looking between the two men in the room in utter confusion. “What do you mean he’s gone?” Harry pulled away, taking my hand to lead me towards the sofa in the room as Niall pushed the door closed and followed us. Harry and I sat, legs touching, on the sofa as Niall sunk down into the chair opposite. 

“Well you know that I said he just made the announcement at breakfast yesterday?” Harry asked, leaning back in the cushions, arm slung over the back of the furniture behind me. I nodded, urging him to continue. “He just stayed in his room pretty much all of yesterday; he spoke to Lou before the rest of us left for the show, he didn’t come, even though he said he would.”

“He was gone by the time we got back.” Niall finished. 

“Oh my god.” I breathed, my head falling into my hands. “Well what the hell does that mean?” 

“We don’t know.” Harry replied. Both men looked in a right state; I wouldn’t be surprised if they told me neither of them had a wink of sleep last night. Both of their hair, usually pretty immaculate, was now roughly sticking out every which way as if they’d been pulling and pushing at it in frustration. 

“Has any of his family said anything?” I asked. “Perrie?”

They shook their heads in reply, looking down sorrowfully. Suddenly the door was pushed open and one of their body guards walked in. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” He started, shooting me an acknowledging nod. “There’s been some... developments.”

“What developments?” Niall asked.

“I think you should just come into Liam’s room, there’s a meeting.” He said, refusing to say anything and standing to the side of the door, watching the three of us. 

“I’ll stay here.” I offered, watching Harry and Niall get up.

“No, come.” Harry said, holding his hand out. I took it, following him as he pulled me towards him, his hand at the small of my back as we were led by Niall out of the room. Collectively we muttered a ‘thanks’ to the man holding the door open as we went to the room three doors down.

“One sec,” I said, feeling my phone vibrate in my back pocket. “I’ll meet you in there.” I slipped it out, giving them an encouraging smile and nod before answering it - not looking at who the caller was. “Hello?” I was answered by someone crying out my name. “Perrie?” Harry stopped, reaching out and grabbing Niall’s arm to stop him continuing into the room as they both spun around to watch me.

“It’s Z-Zayn.” She continued to cry.

“What’s happened? Has he made it home?” I asked, exchanging a worried look with Harry. As I spoke, Louis, Liam and their tour manager emerged from the room, all standing and watching me.

“What’s going on?” Liam whispered. Niall quickly explained.

“He just texted me. He said he’s back in London, but he said that was it. He wasn’t going back. The band is over for him. And so are we!” She hiccuped between each sentence, her explanation laced with sobs. My heart seemed to come to a juddering holt at her words.

“The band’s over? What do you mean? You’re over?”

“He’s called off the wedding!” 

                                                   ----------------

I sat in Liam’s room next to Harry as their tour manager explained the situation. “So he’s quit?” Louis asked after what felt like an eternity of silence between the seven of us. It was evident in his ton and body language it was taking every fibre in his body not to rage.

“What the fuck?” Niall cried, face falling into his palms. His shoulders were shaking, showing us that his tears were falling. Liam moved to sit on the arm of his chair, pulling him into a hug, but it was clear he himself was fighting tears. 

“And he’s broken up with Perrie?” Liam confirmed, looking between me and their manager. We both nodded. 

I was absolutely stunned. I didn’t know what was going on. The last twenty four hours and been a rollercoaster, a whirlwind, going from one thing to the next in what felt like a flash.  

“Christ... I can’t believe this.” Louis said. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to me that Harry remained silent. I turned my head to look at him; he seemed to be in a sense of shock. I gently squeezed the hand that was in mine. 

“Haz...” I prodded quietly, my other hand rubbing up and down his thigh gently.

“Can we go?” He croaked, averting eye contact. 

“Um... I think we’ll be right back.” I spoke up, standing and waiting for Harry to follow. The other seemed to have an unspoken understanding; all feeling this sense of numbness and loss. We made our way back to Harry’s room in silence. I pushed the door shut behind us, watching cautiously as Harry went straight to the bed and almost fell onto it, his gaze staring up at the ceiling. I slowly approached him, laying beside him without a word. Both of his hands were sort of cupped around his mouth, eyes welling with tears. 

“Come here, baby.” I whispered, pulling his body into mine as he let out a choked sob. His head rested on my chest as I wrapped him in my arms. Soon more sobs escaped his mouth, morphing into an almost continuous cry as his body shook. “Shhh, my love, it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. Just let it out.” I spoke gently into his hair as I kissed the back of his head. With each passing moment my heart was breaking more and more. Never had I seen him like this and it saddened me to no end. 

About half an hour had gone passed where he had uttered no words or sounds. “Thank you,” His voice was hoarse and muffled into my jumper.

“What for, my darling?”

“For coming, for being here. For just... being you.” He whimpered. I sniffled, a couple of my own tears falling from my eyes.

“Of course.” I replied, squeezing him gently. “Of course.” 

Neither of us knew what was going to follow this day; would the band continue? Would this be the end of the road for all of them? All I did know was that as long as Harry and I were together, we could weather any storm thrown our way, because we loved each other, supported each other, unconditionally. 

[smolbeandrabbles]

Winter Night - Malcolm Bench x Reader (Vertical Limit)

Holiday Fic 2! ⛄⛄

@wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​

Author’s Note: @mandy23b​ I know you still have to get to the end of this week to finish your finals. But Congratulations on your graduation! 🎉

I’m so proud of you - And I know I keep telling you that, but I’m just going to keep telling you!

Thank you for requesting - here’s some Malcolm for you, as a treat 😉😘

Disclaimer: Vertical Limit Not Mine / Basically a massive excuse to have 4000 words of banter / you better believe I got Tom McLaren in here / gifs and lyrics not mine

Premise: Malcolm Bench is back from K2 for winter break. You love snow, having to work in it 24/7 he does not - today you’re determined to change his mind...

Words: 4133

Warnings: swearing / sexual connotations

____

Have you seen the mistletoe? It fills the night with kisses Have you seen the bright new star? It fills your heart with wishes Have you seen the candlelight? It shines from every window Have you seen the moon above? It lights the sky in silver

Have you heard the boys all sigh When all the girls are skating? Have you heard the sweetheart's cry For all this time they're waiting?

Green is in the mistletoe And red is in the holly Silver in the stars above That shine on everybody Gold is in the candlelight and Crimson in the embers White is in the winter night That everyone remembers

Have you seen the children playing? Tiny hands are frozen! Have you seen them hurry home When suddenly it's snowing!

---

Waiting for Malcolm to return home from K2 was always painful, especially at this time of year. People liked their winter climbing getaways - but he liked to come home when it was a little too dangerous out on the mountains. He also wanted to take breaks to be with you: although wintertime was not always his favourite period to do so… because he saw snow 24/7 at work. He didn’t need to see it at home with you too. There was always the fear that it would be too dangerous for him to come back, and it wasn’t just the weather patterns there that mattered, but where you lived too. There had been plenty of times when his flights had been delayed, or he’d had to spend time in the airport overnight, because no planes were going to move under any circumstances. Luckily yesterday the plane home had at least taken off, and although the weather reports were all threatening snow storms here & the air was cold, the sky had been clear all day and not a flake had fallen yet. You prayed it would stay that way at least until you got him inside the house. But then you liked the look of the blanket of white across your front yard and the roads. Especially when it was freshly fallen and no-one had walked or driven through it yet. How it looked so crisp and sparkled in the sunshine; it always felt like you were a child again, when you used to play out in it for hours without a care in the world. Nowadays the cold got to you a little quicker, but that didn’t make it any less magical to you. As you drove to the airport, the weather again was interrupting your favourite tunes to warn of a particularly bad storm front coming. You didn’t think you’d greet Malcolm with this information - he’d probably grumble and turn right around to get on the flight back. 

 You received a text that he’d landed before you’d even reached the arrivals waiting area, which meant you wouldn’t be standing around too long for him. Bonus! But as you leant against the barrier you couldn’t help but watch everyone with their brightly coloured signs - awaiting the arrival of family and partners. You thought back to the day previous; all the girlfriends of everyone up on K2 had their own texting group and you all found it fairly cathartic to fret together (luckily that was seldom necessary) or share K2 news, or climbing photographs (at least one of you was up there every so often), or whatever you felt like really. And Tom McLaren’s girlfriend had texted you yesterday to let you know her man was back home, with a little note ‘And yours tomorrow! x’. If Tom was home then it really must have been end of season. They were due to get married soon - and their engagement often had you poking fun at Malcolm and subtly dropping hints as to when and where he was going to pop the question. Only for him to narrow his eyes at you and scoff and say “Well, I won’t be doing it like Tom fucking McLaren, that’s for sure!” You could only laugh. You had to agree though, the picture-perfect life of the Colorado Kid was not for either of you. Seeing Malcolm again always made you nervous, and you tapped your foot to a silent beat, taking controlled breaths - you supposed it was the effect of him being so far away for so long. Almost like figuring someone out all over again - as much as it was like no time had passed at all; always so giddy, like it was the first time you realised you had a crush on him. You received relentless teasing about that - probably because the Bench brothers were the two biggest idiots on K2. BUT they both had an insane amount of climbing knowledge, it made for an interesting combination; and you were definitely dating the sweeter of the two. You stood straight, on high alert, as the arrivals doors opened and Malcolm walked through, backpack slung over his shoulder. You were just going to give him a casual wave and let him walk over but his eyes scanned the crowd, looking fairly tired from his long-haul flight - and as soon as they locked on you, he lit up completely. And that cheeky little smile of his had you running - Malcolm stopped, bracing himself for your hug. “Ooof-! Geez, Y/N! Okay I get it! You’d think I’d be away for MONTHS!!!” He laughed so loud people started turning towards you but you didn’t care, you’d missed this goof like heck. And damn, that Australian accent. “Just let me miss you for 5 seconds dammit!” You pulled back with a smile, “Okay flight?” “As good as can be expected.” He checked his watch, “Annnnd that’s your five seconds, so I suppose within the hour you’ll be wanting to get me on the first plane back!” Your face burned; that was a joke one time and he’d never let you get away with it. “Weather permitting.” You placed a hand over your mouth, misremembering that you weren’t supposed to be saying anything about the snow. “Oh.” His face fell, “I knew it was all a little too good to be true.”

“Well, I suppose I should get you home before you grumble anymore…” He gasped, “You mean all that way and I don’t even get a kiss-!?” “Malcolm!” Okay, you took it back, his voice just had to be that loud, “I was getting to it!” You still had your arms around him and pulled yourself back to his lips. It was gentle and sweet and he wound his arms around you too, running a hand through your hair. Although when you pulled back you were a little shy, looking into his big brown eyes, “...Welcome home.” “Glad to be back!” He grinned, stepping out of your arms to take your hand in his, “Ah, civilisation!” You noticed the Colorado accent he put on and snorted, “Is that what you think he says when he gets home!?” “What, Mr. Fucking Perfect? Prince Charming of K2, Tom McLaren? Oh yeah.” “Well,” You shook your head and kissed him again, “I much prefer my little Australian hot mess.” There was a small smirk on his face, “Oh, you think I’m hot? I knew it!” “For sure! You can melt the snow all on your own-!” You winked, knowing he’d love that tease. “Ah, Fuckin’ have it-!” *** He was out of the car and bounding up to the front door before you’d even switched the engine off; you could do nothing but chuckle and roll your eyes. “So eager to be stuck in a house?” “Well,” Malcolm looked up at the outside for a minute, hopping from foot to foot and craning his neck, “it’s stuck in a house with you, ain’t it?!” He turned with a grin as you unlocked the front door, “I mean there’s plenty you can do stuck in a house…!” You gave him a sideways glance, “Give it a couple of days you’ll be screaming and wishing that you’re back in the great outdoors on top of a mountain.” “NOOOO-! Give it at least a week! I get to sleep in a proper bed!” “Mal, every time you come home you spend at least the first few days sleeping on the floor because you can’t get used to sleeping in a bed-!” “A’right, just pin me there-!” You blinked at him a few times as he leapt into the house, “I mean don’t tempt me, but I’m gonna need to tape your mouth shut too.” “Kinky, but I’d do it for you…!” He winked before hurtling towards the stairs and taking them in twos. You sighed, head in your hands. Why did you miss this? Maybe you’d be the one wishing he was back on a mountain… You glanced up at the ceiling - he also hadn’t noticed all the winter decor yet. But you supposed you’d give him time. You always liked theming your house for the season - not just the holiday within the season - and you always liked sending Malcolm aesthetic pictures, where he would graciously (if he was homesick) tell you that he wished he was there, and how pretty they were. Or sometimes just ask ‘what the heck is that!?’ and you’d have to put your phone down for five minutes whilst trying not to give up and throw it all away in a huff. When Malcolm trudged down the stairs slowly you noticed him looking around, although you broke the silence, “Did your brother get back okay too?” You knew Cyril was heading back to their hometown for the break. “Uh, he’s probably still in the air somewhere!” Malcolm leant around the banister, “I’m glad there’s no fake snow.” “Why have fake when you can have the real thing?” ���Please no.” “Mal, I already told you the weather forecast says it’s on the way.” He pressed his lips together in his best attempt not to grimace; “Why can’t it be tropical when I get home?” “Babe, it’s wintertime, if you want a tropical vista you shoulda said and I’d have booked a vacation-!” Or he could have asked you to meet him in his native Australia, you knew it was summer there. He froze suddenly - so you knew he wasn’t listening - and when his face lit up you knew he’d spotted it; hurling himself over the banister Malcolm dropped to the floor none too gracefully - leaving you with your head in your hands one again. “My house isn’t a mountain face.” “Duly noted…” He pointed to the ceiling, “That’s mistletoe!” Yes! And mostly because he was coming home. “There’s mistletoe in here!? Come make out with me----!” You laughed as he joyfully whined the last word, and you were only too happy to walk forward into his arms, “Promise no more griping about snow?” “I’ll make no such promise.” You huffed. “Can’t blame me for trying…” He wound his arms around you and pulled you into a short sweet kiss. You were already giggling a little as you looped your hands around his neck, running them through his hair. You supposed it was just because you were giddy about him being home - getting to hold him this close again. With Malcolm’s body pressed up against yours, you were surprised his hands were staying so respectful; but there was time yet! The kiss was slow and soft, his tongue running your bottom lip gently, almost cautious about it. If you weren’t so caught up in it you would for sure have teased him about whether or not he’d forgotten how to kiss. This was your first ‘real’ intimate moment with him for months and months, and you were right, it was about getting to know each other again; even with the familiarity of this feeling. Like a jigsaw piece being put into place once more. You knew you fit right with him, you were happy to be back where you belonged. *** Inevitably his hands didn’t stay put, and you ended up laying back on your couch, his hands roaming over your body. You knew that it would be a few days before you actually slept together: you weren’t joking about him sleeping on the floor. If Malcolm slept in bed he was restless, and there was too much to get used to. Room temperature, mattress, sheets and you… sharing a bed with someone else. There’d be a lot of suggestive remarks and a bunch of almosts, like this one. Or forgetting himself for a moment over morning coffee, where he’d push you up against the kitchen counter - but you had to let Malcolm ground himself back on… well, the ground - a normal altitude - before he’d really be up for anything like that. Still, you weren’t about to lie - you kinda wanted to take that shirt off him when his hands were cupping your ass or grazing your bare skin where your own shirt had ridden up. You’d missed him a lot, and besides having him back, you had none of that other ‘normal’ stuff to get used to. You knew you had to be patient; but steamy making out on the couch was a good substitute, for sure. As you’d been doing this, the weather outside had been steadily changing; and you’d noticed the light changes in the room, but both of you had been far too absorbed in other things. However, when you paused for breath for just a second, both panting - clearly just not able to get enough of each other after months of waiting to kiss again (especially when the lingering memory of the last one was always the kiss goodbye, and hurt like hell) - you looked up to the window and immediately gasped. Flakes of snow were already falling; although not so thick yet, you could already see it settling over the grass and sidewalks… and on the road. You leapt off him, excitement rushing through you as you ran to the window. Immediately full-on child-like wonder. Malcolm stared at the snow for a minute and grimaced, hadn’t he just left enough of this? Why did it have to follow him here!? “What!? You’re kidding right!? You could be making out with me!” “Mal! Malcolm!!! Oh my gosh look-! LOOK! It’s settling!!” Snow had never lost its charm with you. It made you think of too many good memories: staying out in it and playing with your friends and family until your face was red and fingers and toes freezing, long romantic walks you had taken with past lovers, and ice-skating, you’d had skiing trips too, and some of your best snow memories truly were half way up a mountain with the Bench Brothers. But snow meant so much more: cuddling up under blankets with hot drinks and watching trashy movies - or good ones - both with family and the person you loved the most. And you loved those quieter moments with Malcolm too, even though he was so high energy. Those moments where there was nowhere to go, and nowhere to be but than with each other. You were grinning to yourself as you sprinted out of the room and up the stairs. Malcolm sighed to himself: “Oh my god- Y/N! What are you doing!?!” “Getting dressed!” You yelled back, rushing around to pull on a good coat, hat, scarf, boots and gloves. (Only because you knew Malcolm was about to lecture you on safety precautions, even when he sometimes sat out there on K2 in literally nothing.) As you finished getting ready and approached the window again the flurry was crazy - and you could barely see out of it for flakes of snow, building up nicely on the ground. That only made you even more excited, Malcolm looked from the snow to you and back. “Now before you go crazy, just remember, it may look nice but it’s a death trap!” “Malcolm. I’m not 10,000 feet up a mountain in thin air with no oxygen, will you stop lecturing me!?!” “You haven’t seen what I’ve seen! There is nothing good about that white stuff-! Even if you think it looks pretty!” That gave you pause for thought for a second - though truly only a second - had he seen bodies out there on his expeditions? Had he seen people die out there…? You shook that thought clear of your mind, now wasn’t the time to think on things like that. “- Then there’s frostbite! Hypothermia-! Heck, even a common cold is a bad thing; I don’t want you to get sick!” You reached for the door and he wedged himself between you and it, “What about when it pelts you in the face, huh!? Cold and painful! What about when your skin gets all dried and cracked and you start bleeding-!?” “Malcolm. Will you please shut up! I’m not listening…!” You yanked the door open, moving him, “You don’t have to come out, but you’re not spoiling it for me!!” By the time you had run to the end of your drive the cold air was already filling your lungs and you couldn’t help but laugh, tipping your head back to catch the snowflakes on your tongue. The neighbourhood kids were all outside now, parents on close watch, also shrieking and laughing and enjoying the first - but certainly not the last - heavy snowfall of the year. You didn’t know what Malcolm was getting at - couldn’t he just see the good side of snow, for once? You were a far cry away from what he was used to; out here everything was safe. You had a nice warm house to return to, what was his problem? Malcolm stood in the doorway, shaking his head at you and still grumbling to himself about the falling snow, before he closed it to keep the cold out and returned to the window to watch you. But as you stayed outside, admiring the scenery and greeting your neighbours, and passers-by - some of whom were asking how Malcolm was, considering they’d seen him come home (and of course you’d been talking about this day for the entire week) - you started walking up and down, and talking and laughing. Some of the kids were even throwing snowballs at you and you had no trouble joining in once or twice. That laugh was so infectious to watch, the way you lit up like that, the unbridled joy of being able to once again be stuck in a pretty winter scene and reminisce, the cold heightening the red in your cheeks. Malcolm found himself smiling and knew he was immediately done for. “Aw. Shit.” He laughed to himself, “Dammit… she’s gone and done it now…” Trudging outside and pretending that he wasn’t just so happy to see you happy, Malcolm put on his best grumpy face. You ran to him, but couldn’t help laughing at the fact he was dressed like he was about to attempt a summit climb. “Sooo it’s not all that bad huh!?” His eyes narrowed, “You’re kiddin’, I’m worried about you! Helloooo, bad things happen in the cold, weren’t you listening!?” “No. Not at all.” You gave him a teasing grin before trying to kiss that grumpy look off his face. It half worked, and Malcolm couldn’t help but grin before he tried to make himself look stoic again. You looped your arms through his as you walked slowly to the end of the drive and he also watched the kids rolling around in the snow and shrieking and having a good time. Growing up in Australia he didn’t have a lot to compare to this, but he could draw enough comparisons from other childhood memories to know what this must feel like for them. You nudged him; “See! The kids enjoy it, why can’t you!?” He pretended to grumble again, “Yeah, they’re kids. They’d hate it if they worked in it too!!” “I bet if you asked them, they’d love your job.” He laughed, “Great, they can have it and I’ll stay here with you-!” “Well, if you could be so persuaded…!” You leant into him and Malcolm turned to you with an eyebrow raised, ‘just jo-king.’ Although you caught that tiny smile lifting at the corners of his mouth as your joy bled into him. Malcolm could only admit, he was very happy to be out in the snow with you. The way the snow fell and settled on your coat, the tiny flakes in your eyelashes, and where it was melting and leaving sparkles on your skin. You were admiring the same on him; how it settled in his dark hair, and how the ones in his eyelashes were really bringing out that deep brown in his eyes, that were already getting accentuated against that white background. You looked back to the neighbourhood for a moment, glad that the cold could hide your blush. It was very cute; this winter scene just looked like one of those little painted postcards you’d often seen sold around this time of year.  

You didn’t get to admire the cold for long and almost screeched in surprise as you were hit in the face with just a little bit of snow. The cold against your skin was shocking. You spluttered as you turned back to your boyfriend; “What was that for!?” Malcolm smirked, raising his eyebrow slightly, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked snow!?” You shoved him, which only made him laugh. “Not when your boyfriend is throwing it in your face like that!” “Just admit I’m right!” You swayed backwards, arms folded, look on your face set hard: “To you?! About snow!? Never!” This scrabbling around in the snow continued for a few minutes, until you were both flushed and giggling. You wiped droplets of water from your face, still not ready to concede his point about snow. He knew you weren’t going to either, rubbing the ice from his own cheeks - he was still right about it hurting as it pelted your face, though. You couldn’t help but sigh wistfully as you turned back to him, voice barely above a murmur. “I’m so happy you’re home to see this. And the good things about snow.” Malcolm’s smile almost became a knowing smirk as he hesitated for just a second: “Yeah yeah, what do you really want?” With the snow falling around him like that and the little look on his face, now his cheeks were flushing too you couldn’t help but take the tiny step to kiss him once more. He was only too happy to reciprocate and you shuffled a little closer to his body warmth, already looking forward to getting cozy back in doors afterwards. Even if he’d probably give you some kind of ‘I told you so!’ lecture. Right now you got to kiss him in snowfall and it got to be romantic - no-one's brother yelling at you to get a room, or other idiots at camp wolf-whistling at you (or getting emotional at not having their other halves right there. Which Malcolm said he never did, but how were you to know. You bet he did, secretly.) You just got to kiss him and enjoy the moment, and the soft snowfall. Suddenly you realised that Malcolm had snaked his hands under your coat and your shirt and he didn’t have gloves, AND he’d just been throwing snow around. And you shrieked as his freezing fingers touched your warm skin. “MAL! NO!” But it was too late, he grabbed you, laughing, putting his cold hands on every bit of skin he could possibly reach. You were screaming at him, but also howling with laughter as you tried to wiggle from his grip. “OH GOD! STOP!” You wouldn’t be surprised if the whole neighbourhood was watching you now and shaking their heads, muttering ‘crazy kids’. “Only if you admit snow is bad-!” “Shut up, you are so enjoying this!”

He dropped you back to the floor, chuckling, before he cleared his throat and folded his arms. “A’right. I concede. Probably about as appreciative of snow now than I’ve been in years.” Your face lit up again and you opened your mouth, taking a deep breath for your loud ‘I KNEW IT’ but he held his hand up to stop you, “But only because you’re here.” You immediately deflated, and knew you couldn’t fight him saying something so sweet, instead you punched his arm, “You sap.” Malcolm’s face became unnaturally serious; “You best be careful, Y/N, my hands are still cold!” “NO!” You were screaming again as he grabbed you, but this time he simply lifted you up into his arms, “You drop me in the snow, Malcolm, I swear to god.” “Pretty sure you wouldn’t have a problem with that-!” He grinned; but you weren’t about to let him win twice. Instead you looped your arms around his neck once more touching your nose to his. “Ah-! Now you’re cold-!” But he reciprocated. “I best think about getting you in doors.” “Just shut up about how bad the snow is, and kiss me already!” “Aw, the snow isn’t that bad… really… If I get to share the infectious joy of it with you. And maybe get you warm every so often.” Malcolm grinned, with a cheeky wink, before once more obliging you with a sweet kiss. Oh, you were so glad to have him home.

---

Thank you for requesting!! Thank you so much for reading! 😘😘

[thesatellitegrl]

Yesterday I went to sleep thinking about how we are still discussing individual and personal choices as a public thing, like vaccinations and abortions. The abortion thing is what gets me the most because, well, I am a woman and this affects my daily life since I was taught that I can become pregnant eventually but no, I can’t terminate it if I don’t want or have the means to take care of another human being.

I was maybe 9 or 10 when the first wave of panic took over my body, because it was when I understood how young my mom was compared to the other mothers, and exactly why I exist. It’s because a 16 years old girl on birth control got pregnant due to a medication failure and had no choice other than give birth as a result. That’s why I was born. And it imploded the life of a young girl who aimed for greatness and had so many plans for her life, but had to bury all of it because of a medication failure. She was just 16 and had no choice.

I was 15 when my period started and I began taking birth control pills less than 3 months later. Better lose a leg to thrombosis than have a baby before I have the means to give them a better life than I had as a teenager mom’s daughter. I don’t regret it at all, birth control is so damn important and I am glad something like this exists, and it’s in my control. I like it. But I should be able to rest my head at night and sleep well without toss and turn thinking about how if the pill fails, or if the condom breaks, or if any other shit happens and I get pregnant despite all my efforts, I have no choice.

I am 25 now. I’m married and waiting for my next period to get an IUD. I managed to not get pregnant until now, but I still worry about it. Not a single day has passed since I was 15 in which I haven’t panicked a little about the possibility of getting pregnant on birth control. Not. A. Single. Day. And I shouldn’t, because I am taking care of myself, I’ve been on birth control for 10 years, I use condoms and I do everything as I should. But there’s no guarantee, and if everything fails I should have a last resort, but I don’t. Last week a friend of mine had to take a fun trip to the ER because she was bleeding heavily. Her IUD had dislocated and had to be removed. She now has to wait for the appointment with her doctor to discuss what to do next. No need to say she will have no choice if her condom breaks during this period of time. I guess I still won’t have peace of mind, even after my own procedure. Seeing her bleeding and in pain won’t stop me either, better a perforated uterus than a baby I can’t take care of.

People tell me I’m insane and should not worry because if a person is on birth control and uses condoms they won’t get pregnant. Right? 17 years ago my parents were using birth control and condoms on top of it because they already had 2 kids, and things were so hard we only had enough to eat everyday because of family donations. They simply couldn’t have another child, but one day the condom broke while my mom was transitioning from one pill to another. Oops. Shit happens. I’m sorry, no other choice here.

Seeing people urging each other to use birth control because of the Texas abortion law makes me so fucking mad. Birth control should ALREADY be in use, you absolute morons! Abortion is not birth control, it’s a last resort option people should have when birth control fails. Because it fails. It fails all the time. I’m surrounded by babies born out of birth control failure, I am one. I’m surrounded by women who have no choice if their birth control fails, and I am one of them too. And it’s not fair. People talk so much about the ones who don’t prevent pregnancy when talking about abortion, but what about the ones who does try to prevent it? What should they do? Just suck it up? Oops, shit happens. That’s it? It just isn’t fair, and this whole discussion shouldn’t even exist. People should have the freedom to do what’s better for their lives considering their own situation, not have this freedom taken because other people think abortion is a way to prevent pregnancy. It’s not fair that I am punished because of the bad choices of others. That’s the point. I don’t deserve to be a collateral damage of a law made to take the choice away from people who abuses this option. My mom didn’t deserved it. No one deserves to have their freedom taken, not even the ones who takes freedom to it’s limits.

[chaletnz]

Furano Trip

To make the most of my two days off I decided to drive to Furano after finishing work, to ensure I would be able to see the lavender first thing in the morning. I packed up the car and had a shower, then headed off. About 5 minutes after leaving home, I approached a cat sitting calmly in the middle of my lane, I screeched to a stop and the cat didn’t run so I rolled over the top and then it must’ve slunk away. It was enough to give me a fright, I drove a little slower from that point on since I was still in town. Well, after clearing Kutchan town I was on a country road on the way towards the mountains and the second cat was not as lucky... He darted out from a farmhouse and I saw his little ginger face in the split second before he bounced into the right front tyre. There was a bit of a thud but no bump. He ran off into the bushes. Very shakily I pulled over and went to investigate, there was a woman there who could speak English and she said she had seen him run down into the bushes surrounding the farm. I left with an eerie feeling that maybe I should go back home and drive tomorrow, like these cats were meant to be a sign. I drove on for about an hour, my lights on highbeam and my eyes on high alert – I was more concerned about deer now. I pulled over after another hour or so and sent a message to my mum just in case the universe was conspiring, and then the spookiest part... As I was sitting in the car recording my message, a third cat came running towards me! In the middle of nowhere! Very carefully I drove around it and back on to the road and that was thankfully the last cat I saw on the drive. After that it was smooth, I stopped for a late night McDonald’s at Chitose and then drove on until I found a nice big parking lot with a 24 hour toilet. There were bugs everywhere in the heat of a warm summer’s night, flying around the lights of the toilet building. I slept quite well all things considered.

The next morning I woke up around 6am when the heat in the car simply became too much to bear. It was gearing up to be at least 30 degrees today. Somehow the exact time I wanted to use the bathroom there was a cleaning crew surrounding it and I could just quickly brush my teeth and wash my face before leaving. I started by visiting a large campground park that I had intended on staying at last night but didn’t quite reach there, and luckily I hadn’t because it was a crowded carpark with a far worse toilet! I drove up to the first lavender field of the day, Choei Lavender Farm. There was a winding road up the back to reach a mountaintop viewpoint overlooking the lavender and the Kamifurano township. I battled to take some videos with my GoPro that seemed to be struggling in the heat already – by 8am it was already 28 degrees. Japan doesn’t do daylight savings so it means that sunrise is about 3am in summer so the hottest part of the day is earlier in the morning than you would expect. I parked down at the bottom of this farm and took a few more photos although it wasn’t possible to get a good angle of the word “Kamifurano” spelled out in Hiragana in large lettering filled with colourful flowers. I decided to get some gas because Kimbo was already thirsty again, and then arrived at Farm Tomita just before 9am. As Google maps directed me there, she made sure to inform me “this destination will be closed when you arrive” but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to wait for 10 minutes in the carpark. Well it seemed that the Japanese had the same idea! The main parking lot was already full and the parking attendant waved his lightsaber to guide me right down to the back lot. Furano has great flower fields but not much shade so poor Kimbo had to suffer in the sun while I went for a walk around. By now it was 30 degrees and humid. Japanese people carried umbrellas and wore full length sleeves in the heat. Many people were dressed up in their Sunday best to take family photos in the lavender with a bouquet purchased from the gift shop for 500 yen. Dogs were posed for photos and then taken back into the shade where they could lie down. I took my photos and walked around the perimeter but it was far too hot for me so I had to browse in one of the air conditioned gift shops to cool down. I tried to walk up the side of one of the more shady lavender fields but it was deceivingly steep and I struggled to get halfway! It was time for an ice cream break by 9.30am, and of course I had to try the lavender ice cream again. It was a soft purple colour, with a mild taste and started dripping immediately. Luckily there was a shady seat to sit and eat it and appreciate the views of Kamifurano and the mountains in the distance. In winter Furano is also a hugely popular ski resort that is often paired with Niseko for longer snowsports trips. To distract my thoughts, a child squeaked in with those annoying shoes that sound like you’re standing on a plush toy squeaker with every step. All heads turned to look at the child, who promptly trips up and starts scream-crying uncontrollably. And now my relaxing ice cream break was ruined. I walked around a little bit more and bought a few postcards and lavender things to send home then sat down for a drink and a potato croquette for an early lunch. I had been waiting around for a bit because I wanted to visit a café nearby that opened only at 12pm. It was relaxing anyway to sit and watch Japanese people enjoying the lavender and trying to get the best photos when the entirety of the scene is purple!

I drove to Kamifurano town and parked at the post office as I couldn’t find any free parking lots near the Polar Coffee café, I withdrew some cash and then walked there as a loud alarm sounded through the city – presumably a test as no one seemed even mildly concerned. On Instagram yesterday I’d seen that my colleagues Tim and Nick had come to this café which is owned by a Taiwanese guy (they’re also Taiwanese) and it had a good vibe from their photos so I was determined to try! It was even better than expected, I ordered a flat white and it was not only very Instagrammable but also cheaper than anywhere in Niseko. Cooling down in the air conditioned café was also a highlight. After my coffee I made the long drive to Asahikawa to see a rice field. But not just any rice field, one planted very carefully with different varieties of rice that had coloured shoots. The reason I made this long drive just for a rice field is because the second half of July is the perfect time to view such rice fields - the rice shoots have grown in and are brightly coloured at this time. I was very proud of myself as I directed myself to the field. Although a lot of people online said it was so hard to find, I had no trouble at all. Actually my Google map would have led me exactly there but I followed some signposts instead that said “tanbo art” on them in Japanese, and the reason I was so proud – I could actually read what it said! I was the only person there so I parked where I pleased and climbed up the viewing platform to see the art. Unfortunately the field was so wide that it was hard to take a photo of the entire thing, even with panorama! The design changes each year and this time it was a couple of anime characters, there was also something written way off to the left that wasn’t really visible from the platform and I could only see “2021” and some squashed Japanese characters from the ground. Anyhow, it was a very unique attraction and I was glad I had made the trip to see it. My next destination was the Ningle Terrace; a series of log cabin-esque boutique shops arranged along a wooden walkway in the forest. If my phone wasn’t so terrible with capturing greenery then it would’ve been another Instagram-worthy place to see but other than a cool photos the souvenirs were quite expensive and many of the shops were closed anyway. I took a long drive from Furano to Obihiro for tomorrow’s adventure and stopped at a mall for a KFC dinner. Usually Japanese KFC is great, but this one had unfriendly staff and they gave me a half frozen burger which I had to send back for a fresh one. I bought a few supermarket supplies and then drove towards the small Obihiro airport once it was dark to find a suitable parking space for the night. I passed the airport parking lot as it there were too many floodlights which would make it hard to sleep, further up the road there was a small shoulder so I stayed there in the pitch black instead, with a nice forest on either side. I got out of the car to change into my shorts to sleep but I heard rustling in the bushes and freaked out! Instead I changed inside with the doors locked. I felt a little uneasy falling asleep as there had been searchlights beaming around the sky that I’d assumed were to find intruders sneaking into the abandoned Gluck Kingdom theme park and I worried someone would knock on my car window and tell me to move on. Of course I didn’t want to get caught on my urban exploring but I thought “you would have to be absolutely insane to venture in there at night”. As it turned out though, the lights were for the airport perimeter security and nothing to do with the theme park coincidentally located about a kilometre opposite.

[purplebass]

Nightmare // Kelila

Hi! Since yesterday was Lila’s fictional birthday, I decided to write another quick one shot about this. It’s something fluffy. 💜

Couple/Characters: Kell Maresh and Lila Bard, Kelila Rating: T AO3 Link: Nightmare

Kell couldn’t sleep. He lain awake; his eyes focused on the person sleeping peacefully by his side on the small bed in their cabin on the Night Spire. It was partially because of her that he hadn’t been able to rest. A few days before, they had briefly returned to the palace for a day. Kell had been ecstatic to see Rhy again, and Lila seemed to be enthusiastic to take a short break from their travels. After docking and settling in Kell’s room, she went to see Alucard. Kell hated to admit it, but he was one of her closest friends. He didn’t mean to spy on them, but he couldn’t help but eavesdrop when he heard them talk in the gardens as he was going back to the palace.

“The king wants to know your birthday, Lila,” Alucard told her.

“The king… or someone else?”

Alucard rolled his eyes. “I don’t care about these things. I’m just doing what Rhy asked me to do. He says that he wants to send you something when it’s due.”

“He shouldn’t bother, really,” she brushed the idea off, and put her hands in her pockets dismissively.

“Come on. Now you make me want to know too.”

Kell was standing behind a tree not too far from them. He saw the indecision in Lila’s eyes, as if she didn’t want to tell him. Maybe the thought of her birthday made her uncomfortable. That was probably the reason she didn’t tell him either. Nor that he asked, but he wanted to know. Damn, he should have asked her.

“It’s on the 23rd of this month,” she revealed. “I’d rather not have this information spread.”

Kell’s heart sunk in his chest. Why didn’t she want him to know? It was just a date. What could that date possibly hold? Kell didn’t know what to do. Should he ask her why? Should he buy something for her? He decided to leave them to their talking and went to Rhy. He had time to decide what to do, even if not much. The 23rd was in less than a week, and they got back on the ship on the following morning. He didn’t know if he should intrude, so he just tucked the information in his pocket and weighted in his options.

His decision-making skills turned out dull, and he ended up not doing anything. The day had eventually arrived, and all of his thinking had led him to this. He was tired but he couldn’t will his eyes to close and to embrace sleep. And to embrace Lila either, because he felt guilty that he didn’t have anything to give her, not even a souvenir from another London.

His eyelids drooped in resignation, but he told himself he shouldn’t beat himself up. He didn’t know about it, right? And if he didn’t confront her about it, she would never know he knew. How hard it was to make a decision, even more out at sea, when you couldn’t go anywhere else to think. He should stop thinking about this issue, anyway. Unless she would tell him, he wouldn’t ask.

Kell’s never ending thoughts were interrupted by Lila herself. Her hand clutched his tunic as if she wanted to drag him somewhere. He didn’t think much about that gesture. She was sleeping, and the bed on which they slept was not too large. It wasn’t unusual for Lila to snug closer to him in her sleep, and she had done it thousand times during their trip. But this time, he noticed that her lip was trembling, and her body shook with shivers. She was dreaming, perhaps. He tugged the covers over their shoulders and placed his arm behind her back to warm her up.

This didn’t stop her from saying things in her sleep. “No,” she whispered. “Don’t do it, please,” she begged, her upper lip curled and she winced as if in pain. This must have really been a nightmare, because Lila never begged, not even in her sleep. Fear crossed her features and she gasped. “It hurts,” she cried, and leaned into him.

He could feel her hand on his skin, because it had slipped underneath his tunic. She dug her nails into his flesh, but it didn’t hurt. She had also drawn blood, but Kell’s attention wasn’t focused on that. Lila’s face was damp with sweat, and he glanced down at her to see her hair plastered on her forehead. Now she was shivering even more, despite being on a set of thick covers that would have made anybody comfortable in a matter of minutes. She was sweating, and he decided that it wasn’t warmth she needed in that moment. At least not the heat a blanket could provide.

He removed the covers and wrapped his arms around her, rocking her body as if she was a little child. Lila didn’t say anything for a while, but he heard her cry, and he felt her tears wet his chest.

“Don’t go, please,” she sobbed silently, pleadingly. “Don’t leave me alone.”

He didn’t know whether she was awake or not, but he replied anyway. Maybe she would wake up if he said something. He didn’t know what to do, and felt even more helpless than he did before, when his main worry had been about her birthday.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he told her, and raked a hand through her hair, then kissed the top of her head. “I’ll always be here.”

“You promise?”

“Yes,” Kell replied. “I promise.”

She stirred in his arms after that, and lifted her chin. There was a candle on a table near the bed, and it lighted up her face. He saw the traces of fresh tears, and the confusion in her eyes.

“What… did you…” she asked, a bit groggy. She rubbed her eyes and then glanced at her hands. “Did I do… something?” she wondered cautiously. She couldn’t remember.

Kell went for honesty. “You were having a nightmare, Lila.”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and a grimaced. “Did I say something?”

“You were in pain,” he just said, and Lila replied with a sigh. “You also asked me to stay.”

“Did I?”

He nodded. “Do you want me to go instead?”

“No,” she said firmly, too quickly. He knew that it was the truth. “It was really that nightmare, then.”

“Can I help?”

Lila decided to sit, and Kell followed her, letting her lean her body against his. With his arm behind her back, they both settled against the pillows of their bed, and Lila started talking.

“I have to be honest with you, Kell,” she began. She was playing with the hem of the blanket as she spoke, and Kell thought she must be very nervous about it. He listened. “Today is my birthday.”

He feigned ignorance. “I wish I knew.”

A sneer escaped Lila’s mouth. “You’re right, I should have told you, especially considering…” she sighed, then continued, “especially after things got serious.” She didn’t say between us, but Kell knew that it was implied. They both knew that what they had between each other was a relationship based on mutual respect and trust, and also affection. “But I couldn’t bring myself to do it, because something happened on that day. Something that I can’t bear to remember.”

“You don’t have to tell me,” he told her, although he was curious.

“No, I need to tell you. I’m trying to… trust you, Kell. And I…” she paused for a moment, and he squeezed his hand on her hip. “I lost my other eye on the day of my birthday.”

“I’m sorry about that,” and he really was. He knew that if he had been the antari born in Grey London, he probably would have suffered the same fate.

“I still have a good eye, don’t I?” Lila giggled, but it didn’t look too cheerful. “That was also the day I started this life on my own.” She didn’t have to say it outright, but he understood that she meant that she was abandoned on the same day.

“When you were having the nightmare, I told you I’ll always be here.”

“That’s insane,” she grunted, as if she didn’t believe it someone would ever promise her that.

“Coming with you on this ship was insane. But I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Correct.”

“So, what do you want for your birthday?”

“I want to sleep a little more. Tomorrow we dock in a new port and we need to stock on food,” she yawned, and started sinking back on the mattress.

“Wish granted,” Kell said, then went back under the covers with her. He kissed her lips and then he finally fell asleep.