#i got motivated after finishing the next written piece for this. which you know. i have to draw for hahaa

[fizzing-imagines]

Can I have a fic where reader is pregnant by her ex and Robin is the mother who stepped up?

Teen Pregnancy Series | Robin Buckley x Reader

Notes: Of course! I had so much fun writing this. I don't think the ending is quite what you imagined, but I like happy endings way too much. I hope you enjoy it regardless :)

Warnings: None, I think

Word Count: 3.8k

You really didn't know who else to turn to. Unfortunately, nothing was more important to you than your social status, and if you were to talk about it with any of your friends that would be ruined. It already took a blow after your ex-boyfriend Chance dumped you, but that was bearable. Being pregnant would be your ruin.

"Hey, do you have some time to talk?", you asked Robin who stood behind the counter of the video store she worked at. Robin wasn't particularly a close friend, but you considered her a friend since the band kids and cheer squad were close enough. Plus, you two worked on a good amount of presentations in middle school and high school, and it always went well. Plus, you had a ton of fun together once the work was finished. "Uuuh...sure, yeah. Steve? Steve!" She yelled for her coworker and friend Steve Harrington to take over before taking you to the back.

"What's up?" You were both sitting on a very ragged couch that was for the staff to take their breaks on. "I don't really know how to say it, so I'll just show you." You took three positive pregnancy tests in a ziploc bag out of your pocket and put in on the cushion between you two. "Wow, oh...okay.", Robin stuttered. She was really bad in social situations to begin with, so this was a whole other level. "Does, uh...Chase know?" She then continued to ask. You shook your head no. "He's the last one I wanted to tell. He wasn't exactly kind when he broke up with me, so this will be worse."

"Why'd he break up anyways?", Robin asked, now curious. News spread through the school like a wildfire, but the reason as to why was kept hidden. "Robin, you're going to think I'm an awful person, but I promise I had a good reason." As much as Robin hated to admit it, she loved hearing gossip even if she didn't want to be included in the actual drama going on. "He was kind of...a casualty to get popular.", you admitted. "And he found out I was only with him for popularity, but I promise Robin, that was a lie and I used it to cover a better reason." The confusion was written on her face as she pieced together the information. "Wait...what?", she finally asked. After a deep breath in, swallowing down tears, you started explaining. "I got together with Chase to cover up a secret. But I also kind of did it to gain more popularity, even though that wasn't my ulterior motive. But he thinks I only did it for popularity, which is why he broke up." Her face showed that she had a hard time processing the information you were giving her, but after a while it seemed to make sense in some way. "Sooo...what can I do for you?"

"I...don't really know. Just needed to talk to someone I guess...I couldn't even tell my parents yet..." She thought about her next words for a while. "Maybe I can...come with? If you want?" It was clear that it would he an absolutely awkward moment for her, but she truly wanted to be there for you. And in all reality, she's had a minor crush on you since middle school, so this also seemed like a selfish but working way to get to know you more. "That would actually be nice...although I should probably see a doctor before, because they'll think it's a prank otherwise."

"Then we'll do that. I'll come with."

"Really?", you asked. That was too much to ask for, but Robin seemed determined. "Yeah, I'll come with and we'll look at the..." She did her best to find the right word. "Baby inside you. Whenever your appointments is."

"Thank you, Robin. That's really sweet of you." And that rung in her ears for the rest of the week.

"There's the head...and the feet..." your gynecologist showed you on the ultrasound. "And here's the hands. Very normal for five months." Your eyes went wide in shock. "Five months?!" Robin and you shared a look that read the exact same thought: How the hell could you not have known for four months?

"What, I mean...how? I had my period and everything, and my stomach is still flat as ever." She gave you tissue to clean your stomach from the jelly with while explaining. "There can be many reasons. If you've had irregular periods or take birth controll pills, it can go unnoticed. Especially with your first pregnancy, since you don't know what it feels like to be pregnant. And to not showing, that's not uncommon too and has many reasons." She typed on her computer a bit and you heard a printer going on. "Listen, you're still young. At five months, there's nothing anyone could do to help you out of it. But I can provide you with resources for help." You nodded your head while silently pulling your pants back up. "Thank you.", you said to her before leaving the doctors office with Robin and your sonogram in hand.

"I'm so screwed.", you mumbled after both car doors were closed. "I have four months to prepare for a whole baby. I'm so fucked, Robin." You started chewing your bottom lip, a bad habit you always had when you were anxious. "Stop that.", Robin said with a light tap to your chin. "I'm not the most optimistic person, maybe even very pessimistic sometimes." Robin quickly realized that this wasn't helping. "But it's gonna be fine. I have a feeling. Trust me."

Against all odds, it was fine. While your parents were shocked, they saw your tears, how lost you were, that you had to go this by yourself. All they saw was their little girl who needed her parents.

"Thank you so much, Robin.", you mother told her while pulling her into a very sudden hug. "Truthfully, I'm so glad she has you. You're an angel." You stood by the door, carkeys in hand waiting for your mother to finish. Since Robin didn't have a car or a licence, you told her you'd drop her off at home. "Mom.", you said in an slightly embarrassed tone. Eventually, you did her Robin into your car and started it.

"I'm so sorry about her, she does that sometimes." But your friend just laughed. "It's fine. I'm really happy that they were so nice about it." Her house wasn't far from yours, so the drive only took five minutes. "If you need help with anything else, I'm always here. Like, with the nursery. We can make such a good nursery for whatever your baby will be. I might not look like it, but I'm really, really good with decorations." She went on and on about how she could make the perfect nursery with you, but you felt bad. That secret you've been keeping would be a reason for her to stay away from you, or even gossip about it. But she deserves to know before getting too involved with you and your baby. Meanwhile Robin, she was feeling ecstatic about being so close to you right now. Not just on a physical level, but mentally too. She went to see your baby with you for the first time, told your parents, and now you're making plans about a nursery. Like a real couple would.

"Robin, I have to admit something.", you said as you parked outside her house. Her head turned towards you. "I'm only telling you this because it would be unfair for you to get too involved in all of this without knowing. And since I'll be an outcast anyways, it doesn't really matter if people know anyways." After a deep breath in, you started explaining: "The secret I was trying to cover up with Chase is that...I-I don't actually like guys...you know, that way." It was music to Robins ears. In fact, it was so great that she started grinning.

"We're in the same boat, (Y/N)."

"No Steve, you don't understand.", Robin went on. "She's involving me like a stepmom. We talked about baby names and that she wants me there when she finds out the gender." She hasn't stopped talking about you to Steve ever since you told her you like girls. He kept telling her to just ask you out, but she insisted that it might ruin the friendship if you didn't like her back. Robin was so deep in her vent that she didn't realise that you walked through the door.

"She took you shopping for maternity clothes and had you in the changing room with her. In which universe is that not a clear sign?", Steve said to her in a slightly aggravated tone. "If I tell her I like her, I might ruin everything. And she needs someone to help her with the baby!", Robin argued back. By now, you were standing behind the counter with Robins back turned to you. "A girlfriend would be even better for the baby.", you said shamelessly. Robin turned around and looked at you in horror. "Where did you come from?" was the only thing she could get out. You laughed a bit. "I would love to go out with you. If you're fine with a baby being part of the deal."

Robin ran around the counter and pulled you into a hug. You did have a slight bump at this point, but not big enough to be too much apart from you.

"Yes, absolutely! There's nothing I would love more than that!

"You just...tell him.", Robin suggested while brainstorming ideas on how to finally tell Chase. "Helpfull.", you commented while resting the back of your head against your carseat. "Well, what do you want me to say? Because realistically, there isn't really another way to do it. He's not happy with you right now, and I doubt he ever will be. Plus, you said you have nothing to loose anymore, so you might as well take the blow now." You knew Robin was right. "Alright, let's go."

She stayed with you when you walked up to Chase. For once, he was alone by his locker. But he quickly closed it and tried to walk off once he saw you. "Chase, please, just a minute.", you pleaded as you caught up to him and held him by the arm. "What?", he asked in an aggravated tone. "I don't expect anything from you, but I'm pregnant.", you blurted out. He remained quiet and starred at you for a good minute before speaking again.

"How far?"

"6 months."

"You kept that from me for 6 months?", he asked in disbelief. "No, Chase, I didn't find out until a month ago.", you defended yourself. He scoffed a bit. "I can't even believe you that it's mine.", he said before walking off.

"Well, that was something.", Robin said. You nodded your head. Although this went better than expected; you were sure he was gonna yell at you. "Come on, let's go.", you said before walking to class with Robin.

"Hold still.", you said to her as you smeared a face mask on her face. Robin kept making faces at the unknown feeling of the white paste on her face. "Why is it so cold?", she asked, getting some paste on her lips on the process. "Robin.", you said while swiping your thumb across her lower lip to clean it. Your baby bump came fast, and it was big at this point. Bending over to apply the mask was hard enough, having to fix it was even harder. "Sorry.", she whispered once you were finished. "For someone who uses chapstick once every 3 months, you have really soft lips.", you said while leaning back to give your hips and back a break. Truthfully, it was just an absentminded comment, but it made Robin impulsive. She leaned forward and put her lips on yours. A bold move on her end, but you two have not spend a day apart since you said you want to take her out. Kissing you was ought to happen. And you thought the same, so you happily kissed her back.

Once you two parted lips, Robin and you both started laughing; she did because her face mask was all over your nose, chin and side of your lips, and you because those parts came off of her mask and made her look funny. Robin used a wet whipe to carefully fix your face. The whipe landed in the small trashcan next to your bed and since Robin was already leaning foward, she took the chance to take your hands.

"Sooo, are we like...uh...you know..."

"Girlfriends? If you want to." You smiled at her and let your thumbs run across the back of her hands. "I absolutely want to. I've actually had this massive crush on you in middle school, but then it kinda got less but it really came back lately, and there's really nothing more I want than being your girlfriend." She always talked so much once she started, and you loved it. "I'd kiss you again, but you've got something on your face.", you giggled.

"Whipe it off then."

You couldn't tell anyone that both of you were together. Not your parents, not your friends, nobody. Only Steve was made aware, and he was ecstatic for the both of you. Everyone else was told that you two were just best friends who'll be raising the baby together. And for safety reasons, you liked it that way. Besides, nobody needed to know what went on behind closed doors.

"Would you like to find out the gender?", your OBGYN asked you. "Yes, please.", you said with a smile. The initial fear was gone, the nervousness because now it was all replaced with excitement. Robin was gonna be the child's mother with you. "Alright, so you see here." She pointed at the screen. "There's a penis, so it's going to be a boy." Robin and you grinned at each other. "We're having a boy!", Robin squeaked with excitement, which earned a weird look from your doctor. You hastily said your excuse. "She's my best friend, and helping me raise him since the father isn't in the picture." Her face went from confused to smiling. "That's very nice of you.", she said to Robin.

Once in the car, Robin looked a bit concerned. "What's wrong, honey?", you asked her. "Can he still call me mom if everyone thinks we're just best friends?" You haven't thought that far, but there really only was one simple reply. "He'll call me mom and you mama. Sounds good?" Her face turned into a wide grin.

"Yeah, that's good."

"Winnie Pooh wouldn't have been my first choice, but you really made it work.", you told Robin as both of you looked at the finished nursery. Your girlfriend moved in with you at your parents house, under the disguise of her wanting to help, and your fathers office was turned into a nursery. He happily gave it up for his grandson. Plus, Robin was allowed to move into your bedroom with you. Your mother didn't even catch suspicions at you two being okay with sharing a bed, since best friends did that all the time anyways.

"I loved that weird little nudist bear as a child. I think he'll love it, too.", she said with a smile. Robin put her hands on your bump and felt small kicks. "See? He likes it." Both of you laughed and, since the door was closed, shared a quick kiss. "I'm really tired now, though." Both of you walked into your bedroom and laid down on the bed for a nap. Even though Robin didn't fall asleep, she kept you company until you woke up again.

"Okay, Steve, listen.", you said to him while he was sorting movies. "(Y/N), I have to work.", he told you. "It's your least bussiest day, get a grip.", you replied. Ever since you and Robin graduated, you had all the time in the world. "Okay, so, Matthew."

"No."

"Vincent."

"We're in the 80s, not the 1800's."

"Ocean."

"What?", he gave you a confused look that made you laugh. "That was on there to see your face, Dingus.", Robin said with a small laugh. "Rowan?", you asked Steve. He didn't seem to be hating that one. "We're mostly between Rowan and Nicolas.", your girlfriend explained. "Rowan? Is he, what, a wizard?", Steve joked. "Nicolas sounds good." He turned to Robin. "Finally a good decision." She rolled her eyes at him.

"(Y/N) was a good decision."

"Alright, yeah, I'll take that."

You laughed at their antics until there was a sharp pain in your abdomen. "Fuck...", you groaned. Both turned their head to you as you leaned against the counter. "Hey, what's wrong?", Robin asked in a panicked tone. You took a deep breath in and out before being able to reply. "I think he really likes his name and doesn't want to wait." Robin did freak out as much as you'd imagine she would.

"Steve, you need to drive us!", she yelled at her best friend. He hastily got his keys and rushed both of you out of the store. "Come on, let's go!", he said while unlocking the car. Robin got in the backseat with you while Steve started the car. She barely closed the doors when he started rushing to the hospital.

"He's so tiny. Why is he so tiny?", Robin asked with some tears in her eyes as she held your son Nicolas. He's two days old already, but she couldn't help but tear uo every time he was in her arms. "All babies are tiny.", you said with a small laugh. Admittedly, Robin never held a baby before. She was an only child, and her family lived too far away to visit when her cousins were still babies. "But he's extra tiny.", she cooed.

"18 inches is typical, honey."

Robin never looked this happy. The love in her eyes was unmatched. She cherished him as he snored in her arms. The moment was interrupted by a knock on the door, and Steve walking in. "Hey.", he greeted with a smile on his face. One of his hands held flowers while the other held a small box. "Hey Steve.", you said quietly, smiling as well. He walked over to your bed and put the flowers in a vase. "I got these for you, but I didn't know which ones you liked most." You were still smiling. "Thank you, Steve. They're beautiful."

"And I got this for Nicolas. Again, I didn't know what he'd like.", he joked. It made you and your girlfriend laugh a bit. "Maybe you wanna hold him while Robin opens it?", you asked him. Steve loves babies, you knew that, and you knew that he wants six of them. "I'd love to.", he replied. Robin made him sit down and showed him how to properly hold Nicolas. "He's tiny.", Steve commented.

"That's what I said.", Robin agreed with a small laugh. She took the small box from your nightstand and opened it. "It's adorable.", she said with a grin before taking it out of the box. It was a Winnie Pooh rattle. "That's so thoughtful, Steve.", you said with a grin. Meanwhile, Nicolas was waking up in Steve's arms. He had beautiful, big dark brown eyes that looked up at Steve. Something inside him made him very emotional.

"It's unfortunate I can't ask my girlfriend for a baby yet.", he commented. Robin and you shared a look.

"Girlfriend?"

Nicolas was fast asleep on top of Robin from swimming all day. Your four-year old was so hyped for the trip to the Hawkins swimming pool and even packed his bag by himself. After hours of action, he asked his mama for a cuddle just to fall asleep on top of her. And Robin being herself was now sleeping as well. You were packing up towels and toys when you noticed someone approaching.

"(Y/N)?", Chance said.

You looked up at your ex-boyfriend through your sunglasses. "Hey.", you said. His eyes wandered over to your girlfriend and son, especially your son. "He looks like me."

"I know.", you said. "I didn't lie." Chance looked back at you with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I should've been there." You made space for him next to you. "Come on. They sleep for forever, we can talk." You could see it in his eyes, he really needed this. There was just...something. Something he needed to tell you.

"I know why you did it.", he said. "It's clear to me now." You felt panic raise inside you. Robin and you did such a good job at convincing everyone that you two were just best friends raising a child. You barely even kissed in front of Nicolas so he couldn't tell his classmates. And now your ex figured it all out?

"(Y/N), I figured it out because I'm like you." Your eyes went wide in surprise. "But with boys.", you whispered. He nodded his head. "Me and Andy. You remember Andy?" How could you not? He was a dick

"We're moving in together next month. It's better there for us." You smiled at him, happy that he was so open and honest. But it still raised a question. "You never loved me?"

"I thought I did. But I realised I just really liked hanging out with you, more than anyone else." That made you happy, even though you still felt bad for using him. Even though he understood, it wasn't right. "I don't expect anything from you.", Chase said, unintentionally quoting you from five years ago. "But I'd like to be in your life again. And..."

"Nicolas."

"And Nicolas life."

You looked over at your sleeping girlfriend and son. The three of you, despite the challenges, had a peaceful life. Would suddenly involving Nico's bio dad ruin it for him? "I'll talk about it with Robin. But the two of us can always hang out." You looked through your bag for a notebook, where you messily wrote down your landline number. "Here. Call me tomorrow and I'll have an answer for you." He happily took the piece of paper from you. "Thank you.", he said with a smile.

"Come on, Nico!", you yelled from the bleachers as your son took the final shot to bring Hawkins to victory. His team made it to the finals, and if they won today they'll win the championship. He took the shot, landed and the entire gymnasium erupted into cheers. The first thing Nicolas did is run up to you, Robin and Chase for a group hug. "I'm so proud of you!", Chase said to his son. He was soon pulled away by his teammates to celebrate their victory.

"He's amazing.", Robin said before pulling you into a kiss. "Our son is amazing!"

She also hugged Chase. They became good friends over the past years, especially after she saw that Chase was doing an amazing job as being a father to Nico. Your son didn't start calling him dad, but he does say he's 'His Chase', and that's good enough for him. But most importantly: Nico has a good life.

And so did Robin.

[set-wingedwarrior]

You And Me just hit 300 kudos. This makes it my fourth fic with most kudos, the second if I only consider one-shots.

The only one to beat it would be Phantom Pain, which is actually the very first fic I wrote and posted, right after I finished watching RWBY for the first time and fell deeply in love with the show and the bees.

So, considering also the timing, that makes You and Me the fic that got the most kudos in the least amount of time.

I am... so grateful. I really am. This story means a lot to me, both in terms of the emotions that I wanted to convey, but also for the timing. It's still beyond me how the universe decided that the year of canon bees should have also been the one where my story would open the Big Bang! What an honor (and pressure) it has been. Maybe it would mean nothing to anyone else, but it does mean a lot to me.

I am still baffled, and I am sure you can feel that from how I am expressing myself right now. It's just... wow.

This is also the last thing I wrote, I haven't written in a while due to lack of both time and motivation. But despite that and despite my inability lately to answer the new comments I get, I just want you to know that I see and I do cherish them, all of them.

I also remember all the people and blogs, long deactivated and forgotten, that used to like and comment, and who claimed I was their favorite author. I didn't forget you, and I hope you're all having the best lives.

So, thank you for loving something I made, this little piece of me, and thank you for the support.

As usual, see you next time :)

[ruvastuon]

Writer Questionnaire Tag

Thanks for the tag @renasdoodles !

What is your absolute all-time favorite idea you’ve ever had?

I really don’t know honestly, there have been so many that I’ve been scared to touch for years at this point. I couldn't pin down a favorite though, my top favorites are all there for different reasons.

Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes? 

‘Are you a cat person or a dog person?’ This one always gets me conflicted because by all accounts I would say a cat person because I am far closer with them, but I also really like dogs. It’s a bit of a stupid question to keep thinking on, but it keeps popping back in my head at the most random times. 

What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

I love being able to write the stories that I want to read, sometimes I go back to a draft that I abandoned months ago and re-read it to find that I'm really interested in what happens next, and that's a really fun experience. 

What I don’t particularly enjoy is probably when I leave notes for myself to fill stuff in later and it really isn’t enough information to know what in the world I was intending to write. 

What is your greatest motivation to Write/create? 

When It comes down to it I really want to be able to reach a point where I can write the stories from my mind in a way that does them justice. I also want to be able to draw the things that are rattling around in my head.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever heard or been given as a writer? 

First drafts aren’t meant to be perfect, you are just getting the ideas down on the page and setting the ground work for your story to start solidifying your next steps. I particularly struggle with this one since I want to have everything perfectly in place but for my writing style that just isn’t realistic. 

What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

Don’t be scared to ruin your stories, just write them. If you get to scared to even try working on something it will die in your mind forever unspoken and for me that is worse than failing because I gain almost nothing from the wasted creativity.  

What is your favorite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Honestly, I’ve disappointingly only been able to finish a couple of fan fictions since I developed a really bad habit of abandoning story ideas out of fear for the results. I’m trying to get myself back on track but it’s just a bit of a task to keep myself in line. ;-; Sometimes I wonder if the writer part of my brain got switched with that of a hyperactive child. Of the Fan Fictions I've managed to post on Ao3 'A Bit of Clean Water' Fandom: Vampyr (Video Game) is short little story that I'm pretty happy with.

Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you particularly feel about their ideals? 

I won't mention the character but their mindset is that people are inherently weak short minded creatures that are incapable of governing themselves. No matter how great a thing they might make it can be devastated in the span of a generation because their will could not be inherited by their successor. The character believes that because of this people are inferior and do not deserve to stand at the top of the food chain.

I personally understand some of where he's coming from because it is pretty scary how easily something great can be destroyed by a bad successor no matter how great the founder might have been, but I feel like this character is a bit to critical of the race and extreme with his execution.

If you when you first started writing met you now, what would younger you think? 

Probably be a bit horrified at first, but the first story I wrote before I was ten ended with the main character dying in a car crash after someone cut her breaks for a petty reason, so I like to think that my younger self would at least somewhat understand where i'm coming from with my writing. As for my personality... That would probably be a much harder sell. (Younger me could barely play mobile games that had any community features, knowing that I put my writing out for people to see might give younger me a heart attack)

No pressure Tagging:

@kuebiko-writing @wyked-ao3 @creatrackers @davycoquette,

@somethingclevermahogony @laisley-writes @flurrysahin @zaynabameen,

+Open Tag

[soracities]

I need advice pls & i hope u can help me.I have important exams coming up for which I need to be working extremely hard and practice everyday,so that I able to score well in them to get into a good college but I feel frustrated and tired and then end up procastinating and using my phone and wasting sm time.Like before last week,I was doing so well and then then since last week,whenever I try to sit down and solve all these math problems basically,it feels very annoying idk if it makes sense.I mean I haven't even worked that hard or for long enough to have a burn out .I'm sorry that you have to listen to this random person on the internet rant also seeing your posts and reblogs do motivate me to read more and idk but u seem like a very intellectual person tbh.I aspire to be like u. I also want to read more and stay consistent and disciplined in doing so - being disciplined and consistent is a struggle for me TT

I think discipline and consistency is hard for anyone, especially because there's nothing easily romanticized about it--but at the end of the day, intimidating as it all feels discipline and consistency are also nothing more than a series of small, individual tasks, repeated one after the other. I think if you spend all your time looking at all the things you still need to do, all the lists you haven't checked and counting the achievements required to get there you will overwhelm yourself to the point of inaction (or procrastination). But they are all only a series of little tasks, in the end.

I don't know how much help this will be for you, but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got when I was younger was to never underestimate the impact of small term goals. It's so easy to get caught up with a mythical distant future with a daunting list of demands, but try asking yourself instead: what can I do today that will help me the most tomorrow? Not a week from now, not a year from now--tomorrow. So if, for example, you have 10 maths questions to do over the weekend, instead of worrying about the fact that you have 10 maths question looming over you over the weekend, break them down so that you are only looking at each individual task.

To do the first question for example you only have one task: Read the question. And now that I have read the question, I only have one task: write the sum down. Now that I have written the sum down, I only have one task: find the first requirement. Now that I have found the first requirement, I only have one task: work out that requirement.

And so on and so forth, for each step. And when you have finished the first question, that means you have one thing less to do for tomorrow (or even just for the next hour).

It's been a very, very long time since I had to sit down and study, especially for exams, so while I absolutely understand the pressure and sympathise with you so much, anon, I know there is a limit to how much insight I can give beyond this. All I know, all that has stayed with me, really, is the importance of allowing yourself to try as much as you can to focus on what you can do and what you have done instead of everything that you feel is still waiting for you. I don't know when your exams will be but it they are the most daunting to you right now, then break them up into their little tasks, and break those up into timelines for you to focus on--a week, two weeks etc., Sending you all my love and support and believe me, there is more than enough time for you to become the things you envision for yourself 💗

[swanimagines]

AN UPDATE ON MY POSTING SCHEDULE

I have written 7 pieces so far, but I decided to publish only 5 of them during this month (like I originally promised and said "maybe more" without promising) because I also decided that starting from January 3rd 2025, I will be posting once a week, every Friday at 4pm EET. And to kick that off, I put those 2 extra pieces to publish on 3rd and 10th.

Also another change:

AO3 is my primary posting place and it gets an "exclusive pre-access" from now on with my fics as it's the only site that doesn't have a schedule function. To put it simply, it means that fics will be published there before any other platforms, usually a few days beforehand.

Tumblr is my secondary publishing place, so fics come here second in line.

Wattpad is my third posting place, and the schedule system is unfortunately botched when I have so many books. I get it that it's not meant to be able to manage dozens of books at once, but yeah, unfortunately it also means the fics will come there much much later and really randomly because I got so messed up with schedules, please don't eat me for that if you prefer reading in Wattpad.

Through Christmas time, my "special" fics will be published in Tumblr on these days:

Today, 11th of December: Regina Mills, gn reader (you try to have a normal date but something always interrupts)

Next Tuesday, 17th of December: Morpheus/Dream of the Endless, fem reader (he stands you up on your 4000th anniversary because of Calliope's imprisonment)

20th of December: Kurt Wagner + Warren Worthington III, gn reader (they both have a crush on you and have a verbal fight over you)

23th of December: a Christmas special fic with Pin Hawthorne, fem reader (everyone thinks he likes Zoe and is going to ask her to Mistletoe Ball, which makes reader jealous but also insecure of herself)

26th of December: Kaz Brekker, gn reader (Prompt A6. “Ugh, people are so weird.”)

After New Years, these fics have been queued:

3rd of January: Jaskier, gn reader (you think he has feelings for Yennefer because the two have befriended)

10th of January: Luke Patterson based on "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" from One Direction, gn reader

A word of warning that it's pretty angsty/bittersweet. My next JATP piece will be fluffier, promise!

I have no active wips going on right now but I'll start working on the next one soon (which will come out on 17th of January), I'll try to write as many as I can before Sunday because after that I may not be able to write much (or not being able to finish anything) for two weeks as I'll be at my mum's and my laptop is over 4 years old so its battery is half-dead.

Also a little note about my posting pace because I know some of you may think it's too slow: this may or may not be temporary. It depends on how much I'll be able to write and within what timeframe. If my queue has fics for the next 5 weeks, I won't have to stress about being late on the schedule because I'm trying to get myself back to writing regularly after a long slough because I finally have motivation again, even when I'm kinda struggling with writing and constantly change up words, write sentences again, erase, write the original one, erase, write the second one, erase, erase the whole paragraph, altering the scene. I KNOW most writers have this exact same problem but it wasn't my problem earlier, my writer friends have always admired me for that, how I've been able to write good text with minimal editing and now editing takes twice as long as writing 😅

But yeah there will be times when I can't bring myself to write because of one reason or another, especially when it's likely that after I come back from London in March, I will be pretty convention-depressed and may not have much motivation to write, and it would be nice to have time to readjust by having my queue safe and I won't have to "stress" about writing immediately. I know that all my non-toxic readers understand that me writing for free means this isn't a responsibility and I can do this as much or as little as I want, but it brings me peace when I know there's fics coming up and I have schedule that's on a sturdy ground. I'm still regretting how I ended up spamming all my 2022 autumn-2024 January fics here in February because of that one angry ask about wanting to see new stuff instead of fics they've already read, that I'm clogging their dash with my old stuff and then my resolution was just spam them all at once so it will drown under all the other posts soon enough, a genius plan endeed... (sarcasm). A lot of people blocked me that day, so won't be doing that ever again 😅

Though, depending on how much I'll be able to write before the con, I may schedule a few extra fics for that week 👍🏻 (3rd of March-10th of March) But again, not promising anything until I can be certain I can handle it.

[my-dear-philo]

So, I just finished Carnival Row season two. Here’s my thoughts (spoilers ahead).

I really liked it at first, but it just kept going downhill. Season one had a twisty storyline, but pretty much all the pieces fit together in the end. This season felt way more convoluted and much less character driven. They tried to do stuff with characters’ motivations, like exploring Philo’s guilt over suppressing his fae heritage and “siding” with humans. It’s just that none of it felt as authentic or compelling as it did in the first season. As a writer myself, there’s a difference between “the characters did this” and “the writers made the characters do this.” It’s a hard difference to explain, but this season felt like the latter. Stuff just happened because it could, with little attention paid to actually exploring character depth in meaningful ways. Overall it felt too rushed and convoluted.

Other points:

If you’ve followed this blog for a while, you’ll know I love Philo. This season, however, he felt far less humanized (which is ironic, because the writers were trying to do just that). His arc in season one was so focused on helping people — he was so defined by his compassion — and I really didn’t feel that was present in season two. He felt significantly less sympathetic.

I couldn’t bring myself to ship Vignette and Tourmaline. Their relationship was a major focus in season one, and it was established that Vignette chose Philo, and that she and Tourmaline were better as friends. I just really hate it when a show establishes two characters as a couple and then totally changes direction in the next season. Philo and Vignette were written as endgame in season one, including the finale, and this season totally erased that. It felt like narrative whiplash.

Why did they bother establishing a connection between Tourmaline and Darius and setting them up to be a cute couple to then do nothing with it? And then just kill him? Lazy writing. Make it flow.

I actually really liked Imogen this season. Her growth in season one was great, and it was cool to see her spunk and competence this season especially in the last few episodes. Also, having her kill Ezra felt narratively fulfilling. He had it coming based on how he’d treated her, and I didn’t feel sorry for him at all.

I will never forgive this show for killing Sophie Longerbane. She was 100% the most interesting character on the show, and just as she was getting even more interesting, they killed her. Let smart, fascinating, ambitious women live, thank you. Seriously. Her arc was so good, and I was so excited to see what she’d do next, and then she DIED. How dare you.

Honestly, the show was more interesting before Sophie and Jonah were killed.

What happened to Philo’s “I’m Breakspear’s son and I’ll be chancellor to help people” plot line? It disappeared after like episode two and only appeared again in the epilogue. For a show about fantasy politics, this season almost totally ignored the most interesting political stuff in its own plot.

Speaking of the epilogue. I like what it did, but holy crap that was too rushed. I need at least a few more episodes to explain how everyone got to that point. I love happy endings, especially to stressful stories, but this felt like a cop-out from actual storytelling. I want the story of Philo revealing his parentage and becoming chancellor. Do Imogen and Agreus get married? I need way more development for Vignette and Tourmaline’s relationship. I just need more. The middle of the season felt like a lot of filler; they could easily have cut that and done a couple more episodes to ACTUALLY wrap up the show.

As always, the costumes and sets were STUNNING. This season had better win awards for that.

[jmagnabo92]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thank you so much for the tag, @lovelymasks!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently, 187, but I'm probably going to add like 10 more by the end of the month - most of these are Prongsfoot Microfics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

729, 900 words. Well, damn. That's a lot of words. For it's for basically the last two years of writing on AO3.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently on AO3, HP and Ghosts CBS, but I have some writing in word docs for other fandoms if i ever finish them (like Once, Charmed, PLL, CM, ect).

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Take Care of Me (655)- Sirius/Harry One shot for Sirry stockings in 2021. Sugar Daddy Fic.

Companionship (570) - Sirius/Harry longfic where Sirius gets out of the country before Harry's fifth year and they meet again when Harry's an escort 9 years later, not realizing their identities, fall in love.

Return From the Veil (533) - Sirius/Harry Ongoing fic where Sirius comes back out of the veil minutes after dying de-aged to sixteen and they bond and finish the war together. I actually need to update this one.

Path to Recovery (404)- Sirius/Harry After the war, Harry raises Teddy in the muggle world and he truly begins his path to recovery when Sirius returns from the veil ten years later.

Soulmates (307) - Sirius/Harry Soulmate AU One Shot for Sirry stockings in 2021.

LOL - Over 100 fics for Prongsfoot (of my 187) and ALL 5 are Sirry. It's probably because they've been up longer, but that's too funny. Although number 6 is Rebuilding :) Which is Prongsfoot.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, as long as they aren't hate, I make a point to say thank you or engage with questions or discussions.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh god. I'm not sure - I like Happy Endings, but I would say either -

72 Cemetery - Sirius/James with James having died and Sirius trying to say goodbye to the tune of "Give Heaven Some Hell" since that whole being at a cemetery saying goodbye to the love of your life is angsty as hell.

A Dream Come True - Trevor focused Ghosts AU. Based on discussions and comments, while I thought it ended on a positive - they have futures again - vibe, the idea that the ghosts would go their separate ways because they are alive again was angsty rather than happy. I maintain that the ghosts gaining their freedom and a second chance to chase dreams as a happy ending.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, all of my fics have happy endings. But, the happiest?

Rebuilding - Sirius/James - it was the first of a series, but the ending with them getting together and a hopeful future (which is seen in the next pieces of the series) feels the most happy to me.

The Gentlemen's Club - Trevor/Hetty - this one had a very fun time for them as they got to travel and the ending leads to the chance for more traveling and coming out to the house, which feels happy and hopeful to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have - I usually complain to my friends on Discord and delate the comment. I always say "If you LIKE it, please let me know" - I absolutely do not understand who hates on what fic writers do in their free time for no money. And I wish those people would stop - although it doesn't happen often, it can truly kill motivation and it makes me want to hit something.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. I have entire fics that are just smut - not even just one-shots! I am still writing Peaceful Life which is a Sirius/Harry smut fic and I have started a fic entitled "Trevor's Horny Jail" that will pretty much be all smut.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have written one Different Magic, Sam Found Family- it was for HJP week this year - HP/Once and I intend to write a couple of other HP/Once fics. I love Emma and I think her and Harry would be great together given their similarities.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone has asked, but I don't know if they ever did.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I want to co-write a 'Read the Books' story with someone on discord, but we haven't talked about it in a while.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Oh, god. There's so many ships in the world, but I guess I'd have to go with Sirius/James - Prongsfoot. I mean, I have written (IN THE LAST YEAR, ALONE) over 100 fics for them and intend to catch up on ALL of the microfics prompts, write those longer fic ideas, and join in on Prongsfoot Bingo so...

I mean, seems obvious that they must be my favorite, I think.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Probably that PLL rewrite. Damn it, I had to stop thinking about it and fixate on something else because It's just so hard to balance having six mains - the storylines that were good (and I wanted to keep) and make sure I don't give any plotholes. SPECIALLY with the hell that is never-ending November and fixing that. I still want to write it, but I don't have anyone to talk about it with so it's easy to let it fall into the abyss. Especially I haven't started posting it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love a good timeline. Like if you read my fics, you will always be able to follow the timeline and not get confused.

Additionally, I think I'm pretty good at writing emotionally charged scenes with comfort at the end. Mainly the comfort.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm obsessed with timelines - so it can easily screw me up if I got lost in - wait, what day is it? Did that already happen? And having to reread and confirm one way of another and then totally fall off track.

I also tend to be too wordy. I focus so much on gushing happiness that I pepper in probably too much fluff that isn't really needed.

In RFTV, we're 14 chapters in and we're only just now getting to the end of the summer and it's been like 72K. Because I like the bond and building that, but I probably put too much bonding in there - and hot damn, man that's a lot of words.

Additionally, sometimes I lose the plot in the fluff. And forget that it isn't just fluff.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Oh, uh, I don't do it unless it's something easy like Ciao - everyone knows Ciao or Hola - to me, I would only do it if it's obvious what the word is without knowing the language. If I have to look it up (writing or reading) I'll just get annoyed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

H2O just add water. I've got 2 fics on FFN.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh, god. I don't think I could pick just one, but currently - Probably Mirror Talks - it started off as a one-shot for Sirius and Harry Saturday on Tumblr and it literally spiraled into basically Sirius raising Harry fifth year and beyond semi-canon compliant re-write of books 5, 6 and 7. I get to hash out my issues with those books and I get my favorite genre of story - Sirius raising Harry (no wolf star).

AHHH this was very interesting to answer. Thanks again!

Tagging ummm. @wembly @padfootastic, @roalinda and @creative-girl No Pressure!

[sojournerstales]

Belle's 2022 Wrap-Up Thingie.

Hello! I've been quiet on here lately, equal parts due to a new fixation and simply that a lot of my output has been spread across a bunch of different Works-In-Progress as opposed to focusing on finishing just one.

I don't think I'm procrastinating. I think the days are short and cold and these are not conditions in which I am the most productive, so I do what I can, work on things that don't have the pressure of polish, of showing and telling.

Still, that doesn't mean I can't have doubts over how much I'm getting done, how much I've written, so I'm doing this post to take stock of what I did get finished this year and maybe some quick thoughts on them.

If you're a writer and we follow each other maybe this'd be a fun thing for you to do too! (Or don't, I'm not a cop.)

Also some of this stuff won't be in any particular order as memory is fake, timelines don't matter.

SOJOURNER'S TALES, VOLUME 1: WE FEEL AT NIGHT.

5,200 words.

So I released We Feel At Night at around April time, it was the first project I put up on itch dot io and was a bit of an experiment as to whether that would be a format I enjoy. Each story was originally released on a single Carrd, hosted only until the next one was finished. Something a little eerie, a little ephemeral.

The stories within are In The Dark We Look Like Monsters, All I Am Is An Alley Cat, and Late Night Make-Out Sessions, along with I, II, III, IV and an Epilogue.

In The Dark We Look Like Monsters is a moody little look at the night-time rituals of a group of neighbours who all struggle with sleep, and the passing headlights of a car lost on their street. It has a guest appearance from Jackie, ostensibly my mainstay OC who is in a bunch of stuff I write. I think this is a really nice piece? It's about touching someone's life without ever knowing it at all. It's about freaking yourself at night with the shadows in your house.

All I Am Is An Alley Cat is probably everyone's favourite of the bunch, it seemed to touch a lot of people with its shapeshifting genderfreak main character. Alley Cat is a cool dude, guy, girl, creature who doesn't know what they want for themselves, and only just knows what others want from them, and they change themselves to fulfil those desires and to feel a little something. I'm really proud of this one.

Late Night Make-Out Sessions is the longest of this collection - though it is a short collection. It was important to me here to include a non-monster/creature/supernatural non-binary character. I so often write about non-human characters, like Alley Cat, and I didn't want to just relegate any non-binary character I write into the stereotypical shapeshifter, or alien, or robot. The story isn't really about gender, it's about making a friend who is so much braver than you, knows so much more than you, who teaches you strange rituals to reconcile horrible, unfixable memories. It's also about kissing in the dark.

I, II, III, IV are a series of personal ghost stories, each one appearing between the stories above to act as a little breather. They detail my personal, limited experience with ghosts. No, that's not strictly accurate; The stories are me detailing my personal thoughts on ghosts as I try to deal with the loss of my mother, the woman who has me believing in this stuff, the woman who got me into horror. I miss her a lot.

And the Epilogue is just a personal essay about my motivation to put the collection together, what themes I'd hoped to achieve, meeting strangers at night who showed me concern and made me realize that the way the world perceives me has changed. It's thoughts on trans success, I suppose.

A SERIES OF ROOMS

Some amount of words.

So some time after finishing Volume 1 I become enamoured with liminal spaces. I've always been into the quiet eeriness of the backrooms, or empty shopping centres, or roads at night, and I always see these things limited to a creepy, visual medium. I wanted to translate the eeriness of the backrooms into prose, and so what we have here as an experimental exploration of the backrooms. It's best viewed on desktop devices, I never tested the layout for mobile.

It's short, sweet, creepy, and I really dig what I made here.

SOJOURNER'S TALES, VOLUME 2: PARTICULAR MOMENTS IN VAGUE PLACES

11,000 words. Give or take.

So I published this around August time, it's a continuation of my fascination with liminal spaces, but here I marry the eerie horror of them with queer romance - my favourite flavour of horror. The idea I wanted to hit on is that I've always found the typical liminal space comforting. I've fallen in love in an airport, I've snoozed comfortably in the back of a car rattling around dark country roads, and there are so many places I'd love to be alone with a friend in.

I also did something with the titles of the stories here that works best if I write the chapter list out:

(What if-)

Waiting For D5

(-we kissed-)

On Sundays +1

(-between-)

Just Off The A48

(-the walls?)

(What if we kissed between the walls?) is a series of bumper-stories that again act as a breather between each story, and they detail a couple getting lost in the backrooms, this is where I lay the imagery on the thickest of impossible spaces, yellow halls, chlorinated pools. It's all alright, they have each other, these are great make-out spots.

Waiting For D5 is my love-letter to Birmingham airport. Or a love-letter to my partner. We started long distance, but that was okay because the flight was quick and I enjoyed the romance of Burger King at 5AM waiting for my gate to open. It's about travelling together, it's about being about to travel together. These stories are about liminal spaces, but they're also about liminal states of mind, states of being. Waiting For D5 is about holding onto that moment between where you were and where you are going and getting to share that moment with someone you love.

On Sundays +1 was the toughest to write of the bunch. Not emotionally or anything like that, I just struggled with the presentation and plot the most. It's about a girl who keeps waking up on an extra day that exists between Sunday and Monday, and only one other person is experiencing that with her. Together they explore and abandoned version of their hometown, getting to know each other totally separated from the realities of the world, from other people. Like their own private chat. It's about making friends online, in undefined spaces, and the anticipation of bringing that into the real world. It's also about all the transmasculine people in my life who I so often fall madly, platonically in-like with. I adore them all. On Sundays +1 is for them.

Just Off The A48 started off as a complicated beast. It was going to be about this pub in the countryside that every now and then is visited by someone who has just recently died. It was going to be about hitting it off with a woman at the bar and going to bed with her and refusing to turn around the following morning just in case she was gone, just in case she was never there to begin with. I tried so hard to make that story work but everything about it needed way more space than I was willing to give - I wanted each story to match the other in length, so instead I wrote something complete different that fleshes out the ideas of the Volume so much better. Instead JOTA48 completes the triumvirate: Liminal spaces with a romantic partner. Liminal spaces with a friend. Liminal spaces with a stranger. I once again get to introduce Jackie to one of my collections, and this time she helps a frustrated teenager get their car unstuck from a muddy ditch in the road. It's more than that, it's no more than that, it's being in the right place at the right time.

THE LONG FINGERS

I wanna say like 5k words?

Oh boy, The Long Fingers. I wanted to write something scary for October. I finished this in November. That's how it always goes! It's okay, I still managed to write something scary. I remember fretting over whether it was super boring, sending it to a friend who I rely on so often for test-reading, and being sent back:

"Jesus Christ, Belle."

The Long Fingers is about a shame spiral, it's about depression, it's about letting your hygiene slip, your house fall into disarray and mess, and being unable to ask for help because what if they judge you?

Shame is a long fingered thing, and as dire as this story is it is not meant to be without hope, it is meant to be a cautionary tale.

Fun fact! I still get nervous when I take the trash out at home because I based the apartment building in this story on my own home and I scared myself with it! Even so, I'm extremely proud of this work. I made something scary and meaningful and freaked a bunch of my friends out.

It's one of the last things I finished before winter came on strong and my productivity slowed down, I hope to finish a couple of other similarly themed stories to release as Volume 3: Siren Songs, but we shall see about that!

THE OBLITERATION PIT

Maybe 1,5k words?

This one was scary to post, but I wanted to post it. I wanted to post something to affirm that hello I am a lesbian trans writer, which is a shallow reason for posting something so personal I know. I just wanted to get off my chest some thoughts about dysphoria, non-physical dysphoria, the sort of dysphoria you feel in your heart and your brainstem and the bottomless pit in your stomach.

I'm doing good though.

THE WORKS IN PROGRESS

There are so many text files, I'unno like 4-5k words among them?

Between Volume 1 and The Long Fingers I have a whole bunch of things that aren't yet finished, that are only just conceptualized, that have half a chapter written and saved.

There is HERO-99, TRANSGENDER SCI-FI ACTION, a sort-of riff on the vibes of action cartoons aimed at teens, centered around a canonically transgender super-heroine in a cyberpunk city, DIY'ing her hormones and fighting against an evil scientist (and capitalism). I've been structuring this around the idea of lost episodes of a cancelled TV-show before it ever left production and have written the pilot, half of episode 3, and the first half of the finale. Will this ever see the light of day? Probably not. I'm writing this for me. It's so indulgent.

THE KNIGHTS ERRANT, my foray into sword'n'board fantasy writing. I've made a good start on it, motivated by a friend who is desperate for some good dark fantasy that isn't so, y'know, like that. This one probably will see the light of day!

ISTE BY THE SEA, hopefully this will be a part of Siren Songs, and I'm going to remain relatively tight-lipped as I'm likely to finish this within the next couple months.

FANFICTION. Nothing too exciting, just pornography and maybe a little something for Vi League Of Legends because watching Arcane has filled me with that classic spite-fuel. (I won't get into it here. I WON'T get into it here.) Oh, and some Warframe fanfiction too. Don't get me started on Warframe, I owe it my life and more.

There's probably one or two things I'm missing. I haven't mentioned A WARM FIELD or KALIEDOHOUSE because I haven't committed anything to a text document for them yet (though I do have some scenes and chapters handwritten in my notebook, I highly encourage this habit of scrawling some things out somewhere they can't be backspace'd). Taking stock of everything makes me realize I've had a good year for my writing. I got burnt out a little bit after I finished my book - BY THE WAY I FINISHED MY BOOK A WHILE BACK - and so it's feeling good to be back in the saddle and not crunching.

I'm still shopping around GIRLS AND GHOSTS to various publishers, but it's hard to find someone willing to bite on a first-time-author of a weird queer-horror-romance-anthology. It'll happen someday, I'm sure of it. It's a really good book.

Thanks for reading!

[lynnesgalaxy]

Time to continue this! Their arrival to mainland is a bit of a messy one, hiding from everyone, trying to get their lives back on track... Emilette is no different, trying to adjust to the changes she knows she has to make.

Post-Snaktooth:

Going Home

Previous - First - Next

—

Everyone was hopeful. Despite what they had all gone through, now that the airship had safely arrived at the mainland, everyone was wearing big—although tired—smiles. And understandably so, since despite what her head had told her during those terrifying moments just barely hours ago, everyone had managed to stay in one piece.

While she had been participating here and there with the group, adding in her own commentaries as everyone did their best to conceal their snakified bodies, her eyes were heavy, and soon after everyone was ready she found herself simply listening in silence. When the journalist handed her a piece of the balloon's remains, all she could do was grunt in response as she covered herself with the cloth. The battle from before had taken a toll on her, not being used to moving around so much, but she knew she still had to keep herself awake. At least, until everyone was home…

Her eyes shifted from grumpus to grumpus. Everyone had a place to call home, right? Wambus and Triffany had mentioned the old house they used to live in and how it should still be in good condition; Filbo mentioned something about staying with the journalist; Shelda mentioned her family waiting for her; Snorpy and Chandlo still had enough to afford rent; Floofty, Creetus…

While Wiggle had offered to the few that didn’t have a place of their own to stay for a while at her mansion, Emilette had shied away from the opportunity. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to accept, especially considering how luxurious it sounded, but… she couldn’t bring herself to. After all she had done to hurt everyone, she couldn’t make them put up with her on a daily basis until who-knew-when.

So, as the gentle sound of the waves faded away and the chattering of the other excited grumpuses filling her ears threatened to lull her to sleep as they walked together, she let her own mind drift away. She never had plans to come back to the mainland; the prospect of leaving everything behind forever had been far too tempting to put too much thought into it at the time. Of course she regretted it now, but what else could she do? The damage was already done, and now reality had once again come back to hit her where it hurt the most: in the end, she was all by herself. Alone.

It took her a moment to realize the group had stopped moving, and goodbyes and see-you-soons were being exchanged. She shook her head in an attempt to keep herself awake enough to respond, and watched the first members of the group leave. Then a few others. Then others.

By the time the limousine arrived, only Wiggle’s group was left. The tall, orange grumpus approached her with a concerned frown, “Darling, are you sure you don’t want to come with us? There’s plenty of space to share.”

Beffica was barely a few steps behind, catching up to the conversation with ease, "Yeah, you're missing out. Wiggle said she has this huge pool and I'm dying to chill there till I'm all wrinkly. You should totes come with."

Emilette waved a paw dismissively, her smile betraying the sick feeling in her chest, “I’ll be fine. You guys have fun, I’m sure Gramble’ll love the ducks or whatever you said you have. And Cromdo’ll be thrilled living the rich life. I'll just…" she gestured to the cloth she was holding around her, "I'll raid that pool once I'm all done dealing with this.”

Wiggle smiled back at her, amused, “Swans, dear, not ducks. But alright, suit yourself. You know where to find me if you need where to go.”

Beffica didn't seem as convinced, frowning instead. "Hey. Keep in touch."

"Y-Yeah…" Emilette replied, unsure on how to react to her concerned expression. Whatever jumped inside her stomach in that moment, she made sure to bury it as deep and quickly as she could. Grump, they had to leave soon before she couldn’t hold herself back anymore.

Cromdo was already in the limousine, admiring the details on the inside, while Gramble stood quietly, waiting for Wiggle. After a quick nod at her, Wiggle turned away and got into the car with him. Beffica took one last glance at her before waving a paw and getting inside with the group.

Emilette watched in silence as the vehicle left, letting her tired smile finally drop to her usual frown. The weight on her chest only increased. Was she truly doing the right thing? She didn’t know the first thing about being a good person, but this was for the others’ sake, right? Even if that ended up putting her directly on the streets.

Maybe she could get in contact with her parents. She could try to find a phone… although remembering their number was another story, not to mention if it was still working at all, or if they cared to pick up. But the situation was desperate enough to try-

“Hey.”

Emilette nearly jumped out of her skin. “Grump- Dude!” She put a paw on her chest, glaring at the source of that trembling voice she recognized well, “You gotta stop doing that.”

Frankley scratched their chin with an apologetic smile, “Sorry. It’s just...” They looked away for a moment, looking for the right words, “Do you... really have somewhere to stay?”

She blinked at them. “Yes- No- I mean-” she clicked her teeth together. “I’ll figure it out.”

Frankley frowned, letting a few moments pass. After realizing Emilette wasn’t going to say anything else, they spoke again. “Why did you tell Wiggle no if you have nowhere to go?”

Emilette huffed, then stopped herself. Instead, she took a deep breath. She had to control her temper, wasn’t that part of the issue? “I… don’t know. I don’t want to be a bother, I guess.”

“But she… offered. And she didn't seem to mind.”

"Please," she rolled her eyes, "she didn't mind because she was already inviting the others in. She had to invite me out of courtesy, too. Or pity, at least."

Frankley looked down the road where the car had gone, pondering, "She and Beffica... really seemed concerned for you-"

“Shit- Listen,” she gestured around her, “I’ve hurt you all enough already, okay? They don’t have to put up with me just because I’m homeless now. That's why I said no, get it now?"

Frankley opened their mouth to reply, but quickly closed it when she continued, now glaring at them. "Why are you here anyway? Why didn’t you take her offer either?”

This time, however, Frankley didn’t miss a beat to reply, “I have a place to rent.”

Emilette's glare dropped, instead now simply replaced by disbelief, “...You do?”

They shrugged, “I always had it just in case, as a backup if I ever had to leave the island. I mentioned it earlier, remember?”

“Oh- Right. Sure, yeah, I remember.” The small grumpus mumbled. She vaguely recalled the conversations from earlier, but could only remember the details of a few in her groggy state. She had no idea Frankley had even spoken at the time, so it came as news for her. From seeing them desperately clinging onto that snak back at the island or following every single word anyone said, they had always seemed the more impulsive kind in her mind, so them having a plan in case of something unexpected was… surprising. Then again, she had never truly bothered to get to know them before.

They noted how she had once again fallen silent. Her eye bags were understandably heavier than usual, but they couldn't help but feel the deepness in which they truly went. It wasn't just the trip that had her this exhausted.

"What if…" Frankley mulled over their words, "What if you stay at my place for a few days?"

"What?!" Emilette snapped out of her thoughts almost immediately.

"I-I mean- just for a bit, until you can get back up on your feet!" They waved their paws, taking a step back at her outburst.

"No- No, no, no, no." She pointed at them. "You of all grumpuses don't get to be nice to me after all the shit I put you through. No."

"But you apologized to me..." Frankley replied.

"That- That still doesn't make it okay! Dude! I just-" she gritted her teeth, "That was exactly my point! You can't just act like nothing happened after what I did! You think I would've been able to say that if I hadn't been drunk?! Don't pretend you like me because I said sorry once. I'm garbage, you can't just let that go for one weakass apology."

"I-" Frankley gulped, "I never said I liked you." they replied.

That was enough to shut her right back up. She stared at them. After everything they'd told her back at the island, she expected as much, but hearing them say that outloud still made something awful stir inside. 

"But just because I don't like you doesn't mean I'll leave you to die out there." The yellow grumpus continued. While their voice still trembled, they looked at her with conviction.

Emilette looked away from them, grumbling under her breath. 

"I-It's my choice, okay?" Frankley continued once again. "I know how it is to have almost nothing, and I don't want someone I know going through it too. A-and you already rejected your only other option, so…"

Curse them and their kindness. Curse her prickling eyes, threatening to blur her gaze. "Ugh, I should've taken it."

Frankley scratched their chin, "...Yeah."

She didn't look at them again, instead nodding with a small hum, but that was enough response for them. They gave her a small smile. "It's this way," they began walking down the street.

Emilette looked at them for a moment, moving further away with each light step. They were still too naive. Too sweet. Too trusting. Too nice. They were an idiot to offer her a chance when she hadn't done anything to deserve it. But the first signs of a headache were forming due to her exhaustion, and the weight of her own sleepy body was threatening to throw her against the floor at any moment… she wasn't in condition to say no again.

She caught up with them, her gaze refusing to leave the ground. She rubbed her arm, noticing its shape was almost back to normal under her clothing. After a few moments walking side by side in complete silence, she mumbled in the lowest voice she could muster, "Thank you."

Frankley looked down at her, tilting their head. "What was that?"

"Fuck you." Emilette corrected herself out loud, not bothering to look up.

The tall grumpus frowned, disappointed, but stayed silent. The next few days with her around were definitely going to be a challenge.

[fic-writer-and-enjoyer]

Something Bad (Part 4)

Summary: "Through the fault of her golden heart, the reader gets brutally raped. Leaving marks not only on her body but also in her mind" Pairings: Dean!Brother x Sister!Reader, Sam!Brother x Sister!Reader

Warnings: Sexual assault, Rape, Blood, Swearing, Mentions of nudity A/N: "If you want to be added to the tag list of the next part of this series, message me or comment!" Word count: 1000ish

First Part

You were sitting on your bunker bed, staring at the blank wall. Sam’s loose shirt and big jacket wrapped gently around your bruised skin. His too-big sweat pants warmed your legs and feet, securing you.

Now all you wanted was to just be by yourself. But even through it all, you needed a piece of your older brother with you. Not his sweet, useless motivational speeches or worried looks... But his warmth and smile.

His.

Not theirs.

You wanted your brother, not your brothers.

Dean’s clothes smell of alcohol. His eyes are cold and green. And his deep voice. Each of these things reminded you of him. He brought back every touch, push, and all that you wished to forget.

When you closed your eyes, your abuser reminded you more and more of Dean than a blank, faceless figure.

What if?

No, no, just that thought was ridiculous.

He wouldn’t do that! Right?

He was at the bar with Sam...

Wasn't he?

You were fighting with your thoughts. You didn’t know if you could trust your own memories. Your brother wouldn’t have done such a thing to anyone, especially you.

But you could’ve sworn that it was him this night.

Tiredness took control of your wounded body, letting your concerns fade away with every heavy blink. After a little while, you fell asleep.

A flutter of wings from the hallway woke you up completely.

“Y/N?” A familiar tone cranked you up.

“Come in,” you said with a hoarse voice. The door opened slightly, and a tall man in a long trench coat approached you. He looked worried and tired, like everyone around you.

“What are you doing here, Cas?” You asked while yawning and rubbing your swollen eyes.

“I’m here to heal your wounds... And see if you’re okay.” You nodded while he crouched next to you.

“Can you... can you somehow make me forget about what happened?” Cas looked at you with flack written on his face.

“Y/N, do you remember closing Lucifer in the cage by your brother? After he got his soul back? It was so damaged that those visions of hell could kill him. Dean made a deal with Death so he would erase his memories of hell...”

You nodded, and he continued.

“And even this wall in his mind made by Death himself. It didn’t save him from what was hiding there... I’m just a fallen angel with broken wings and a lack of grace. I’m not capable of doing that, but I wish I could.”

You nodded, trying not to move too quickly, not to hurt yourself. The man put two fingers on your forehead and closed his eyes.

The pain slowly declined, making you lose the tension in your bones. You smiled at him because you felt better.

Castiel gave you a confused look and drifted away from you.

“What?” You asked while your smile was fading away. “What’s wrong?” You furrowed your eyebrows and got up from bed. “Castiel-“

Before you could finish, the angel disappeared, leaving you standing confused in the middle of your room.

***

After a few hours of trying to fall asleep and waking up from nightmares, you had to leave your room to wash off yourself, yesterday’s dirt and blood, which was still covering your skin.

You left your bunker room and gently closed the bathroom door behind you. Meeting your brothers was the last thing on your wish list.

You took a long, hot shower, washing every inch of your body. You let yourself focus on the sound of running water while forgetting, just for a moment, about yesterday’s events.

***

After you dried yourself with a towel, you wiped off steam from the mirror.

Swelling around your eyes became less visible. All the bruises and cuts were gone, but you could still fill them on your skin.

Seeing your naked body made you shiver. Looking at it reminded you of what you were through. Touching your skin reminded you of hands grabbing it just a few hours ago.

‘What if he got me pregnant? Maybe that was the reason Cas was so upset?’ You felt light-headed, and your legs gave out under this thought. You sat on the toilet, desperately trying to catch your breath.

Anxiety built up in your chest as you grabbed your throat, desperate for air.

It can’t, no.

This wasn’t your fault, you knew it, but guilt that crept around your mind made your heart beat faster.

You? Teenage girl having a baby.

Panic took control over your whole body. Shivers ran down your spine as you desperately tried to cover yourself. You tried to calm your breathing down for a good few minutes.

***

You got up from the bathroom floor after a while. You were about to grab a towel when you heard a loud bang followed by a man’s moan.

You quickly wrapped a towel under your arms and grabbed a gun you always kept near yourself. Without hesitation, you rushed to the bunker’s major library, which was the source of the sound.

You brushed silently through the dark hallway close to the wall. You hid in the shadow. Your heartbeat was so quick that you could hear it rumbling in your own chest.

Everything you were thinking about in the bathroom was meaningless right now. One thing that counted at the moment was protecting your brothers.

When you carefully came into the room, you saw your eldest brother tied to a chair. Blood was covering his face and shirt.

Sam was standing right in front of him. His brother’s blood covered his knuckles. He was panting from tiredness.

He raised his hand, preparing for another hit. You looked at him in panic and screamed, trying to stop him.

“Sam! Stop, you’re hurting him!” You dropped your gun and rushed to your brother, trying to get his attention.

Sam looked at you in shock. Before he could say anything, someone behind your back interrupted him.

“No, he isn’t” A familiar tone made you jump and turn around immediately.

You saw your oldest brother standing behind you, with anger in his eyes.

Next part.

[introvertguide]

Abuse of Children Portrayed in Film

I like to use movies as an escape from the harshness of the real world and one of the things that I have learned about in my education is the effects on children when they are mistreated. I have a Masters Degree in Developmental Psychology and one of the hardest classes for me to handle was Abnormal Development in Children and Adolescents. We covered everything from dealing with dyslexia and ADHD to surviving severe abuse and loss at a very early age. We had guest speakers that ranged from people who had escaped genocide as children, to individuals who had been sold into prostitution by their parents, to people who had suffered severe abuse from their parents or guardian. I have heard stories that will stick with me forever and that is nightmare fuel that I don't want to share.

Because of my background education, I take note of the treatment and behavior of children and adolescents in the movies that I watch. There have been many great movies over the years that have depicted the suffering of children and it has always been difficult for me to deal with. There are more well known examples of films that focus on suffering but throw in more of a "sometimes we all suffer, even the children" message that demonstrate that kids aren't immune to great travesties (basically any film about The Holocaust). There are also well known films that show children "coming of age" through hardship (Annie 1982, Oliver! 1968) but end perfectly. There is a more current series of films that focuses entirely on a boy discovering a fantasy world that was robbed from him when his parents were murdered by a tyrant (Harry Potter series). But in this list I want to review some lesser known films that show examples of abuse. Even after all that I have seen and heard, the following list of films have affected me personally for one reason or another. Sometimes the children in these films endure and overcome their situation in the end. Sometimes these children do not survive or sadly remain in their misfortunes. To me, this can make the movie all the more powerful because of the incredible amount of pathos that endangering a child character can add. It can also make it a heart wrenching experience that is painful to watch. Here are some powerful films in which children suffer and the struggle is one of the main plot lines of the movie:

SPOILER WARNING AND VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISORY!!! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE PLOT TO THESE FILMS AND IT SHOULD GO WITHOUT SAYING THAT SOME OF THE PLOTS ARE DISTURBING!!! EITHER WATCH THE FILM IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS OR CHECK OUT THE FOLLOWING SUMMARIES IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST HEAR WHAT HAPPENS SO YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT TO WATCH OR NOT!!!

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Sybil (TV Movie) 1976

I just recently saw this film after I had heard of the story in my abnormal development class almost 10 years ago. It is the story of a woman who developed multiple personalities to deal with a childhood in the care of an undiagnosed schizophrenic mother. The movie stars Sally Fields and is based on a true account of Shirley Ardell Mason and her treatment by psychologist Cornelia Wilbur. The acting in the film is overdramatic at times, but it definitely reminded me of some of the actual old videos of Shirley Mason and her sudden strange switches in personality when she was scared or anxious. Dr. Wilbur used hypnosis to actually introduce Mason to her alternate personalities and she was able to recognize her disassociative identity disorder and overcome it. It still hurts me to think that this person was mentally wounded so deeply by her parents that it basically shattered her into pieces in an effort to make sense of things.

Leon: The Professional 1994

I mention this film a lot because it is a heartwarming story of an assassin teaching a young orphan how to murder. It is the breakout role for Natalie Portman and it is just amazing. Leon is a "cleaner" that lives next door to an abusive and addictive family with a troubled girl named Mathilda. The father gets in trouble with the mob and some enforcers come by and slaughter most of the family while Mathilda is getting groceries. She returns during the massacre and realizes what is happening so continues next door and pleads for shelter. Leon takes her in and teachers her the trade and protects her from the men who want to finish her off. The movie was written and directed by Luc Besson and stars Jean Reno, Gary Oldman, and Natalie Portman. The suffering that this girl endures because of her parent's addictions hurts me, yet I have seen and enjoyed this film many times. I recommend watching when in the mood to be deeply affected by the trials of a little girl and the killer who protected her.

Kids 1995

This film came out when I was early in high school and bothered me greatly. It is a story by Harmony Korine, and one of his many attempts to capture the hopeless lives of unmotivated and unsupervised teens. These are young teens having unprotected sex, stealing money to do drugs, and attacking people in the park. I did not really go to these kinds of parties when I was that age (or ever really) and it has bothered me to think that adolescents would partake in this kind of behavior. It is hard for me to believe that these kids had the ability to mentally comprehend the consequences of their actions and some of the characters end up contracting HIV from each other. I would not recommend the film because it is a depressing day in the life that no youth should have.

Gummo 1997

I would not call this a good movie and I wouldn't really recommend it. It is another work by Harmony Korine and really details the depravity that can occur with unsupervised youths living in low socio-economic conditions. This movie is just depressing and motivated me to find something to motivate me into action. I got into both psychology and teaching, which has served me well for the past 20 years. It was this film that showed me how low the bar for quality of life could be, and I guess for that I am thankful. However, I still wouldn't recommend it.

Happiness 1998

This movie I didn't see right away but noticed it at the video store on many occasions. I final watched it when I was about 25 on the recommendation of a friend and one particular storyline greatly disturbed me. It is basically the story of 3 sisters that feel they should be happy and project a face of happiness, yet they are miserable and have horrible lives. One sister in particular is married to a psychiatrist who turns out to be a pedophile that rapes the friends of his young son. At one point rather early on in the movie, this man confesses to his son that he raped the boy's friends and that he would do it again. The son is so confused that he asks his father why he never raped him. It is so disturbing to me because I know the boys that were assaulted will be forever damaged and this boy who was not actually raped will be mentally scarred as well. The fact that there are people in the world that would harm children that way, recognize what they had done, and then know they didn't have the self control to stop themselves from doing it again is horrifying to me.

Lilya 4-Ever 2002

This film is deeply disturbing and I highly recommend never watching it. I will spoil it for you now so you never have to see it if you don't want. A 16-year-old girl named Lilya lives with her mother. The mom gets a boyfriend and the couple move to America and abandons Lilya with a neglectful aunt. The aunt movies into the old apartment of her sister and Lilya is forced to move out and become a prostitute to make money. A boy comes along and convinces her to move to Sweden to escape her life. When they arrive, this boy sells her to a pimp and she becomes a teenage sex slave. She almost escapes, but is then captured and beaten almost to death. She escapes again and this time commits suicide so she won't be recaptured. This movie is awful and changed my mind about giving every film a chance. I wish I could forget this film, but I can't. Perhaps it is just not for me, but this film presentation is definitely an experience that you won't soon forget.

The Kite Runner 2007

I read this book in my twenties and saw the film in my thirties and both affected me greatly. A well-to-do boy and his friend are in a kite battle competition and the friend is beaten and raped when he goes to retrieve a fallen kite. The well-to-do boy denies knowing what happened to his friend (he does know) and basically shames and abandons him. This action haunts the well-to-do boy for the rest of his life. How the boy who was raped is basically falling prey to blaming the victim is heartbreaking, and the lifetime of guilt of the other boy is pitiable. Neither boy was the actual attacker yet they both were the ones that suffered.

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There are many other examples of movies along these lines and could be found if you feel like suffering. I can't say that I would recommend them because they are very difficult to watch. Beyond just dealing with the content, it is rare to find child actors who can actually portray somebody who has truly suffered. The mix of bad acting and a depressing plot can make for a terrible movie going experience. The genre of movie involving suffering does exist, though, and it could be enjoyed (?) by some. Just not generally by me.

[bravetemptation]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2022

It’s December 31st, and here we are. What a YEAR. Let’s take a look:

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 7

2. Word Count posted for the year: 247,189 words (holy shit 😅)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry/Louis; Liam Payne/Oli Wright; Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

6. Kudos: 491 - From This Moment On

7. Bookmarks: 149 - From This Moment On

8. Comments: 58 - From This Moment On

9. Work I’m most proud of and why: A Little Twist of Fate - this fic is so long, probably one of the longest I’ve ever written, and it’s fantasy, which is my favorite genre. Even though it has the least interaction, I don’t think I wrote a better one than that this year.

10. Work I’m least proud of and why: I don’t really have one - I think everything I wrote this year was pretty good 😂

11. Share or describe a favorite review you received: every comment I get is a blessing - I don’t usually get a lot of them, so when someone takes the time out to even say three words about how the fic impacted them, I feel very pleased.

12. A time when writing was really really hard: I would have to say in June and July, when I had four WIPs going at the same time, which my beta will tell you I NEVER DO. I’m a one fic at a time type of person. I couldn’t figure out which one to write or where to take any of them. Thankfully they all got done and published 😂 that and right after my first Harry residency show when I got Covid and it knocked me out for two weeks 😂

13. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: All of the Zouis content I did in A Little Twist of Fate, because it came off so realistic that @daggerandrose thought it sounded like a zouis fic and I was completely unaware that I could even write any pairing other than Larry.

14. A favorite excerpt of your writing: The first time Harry and Louis touch properly in Your Gift Is Wasted On Me:

“Come on, come on,” he heard Harry mutter, and he completely agreed. But finally, they were doing it.

“And the winner …”

Louis held his breath.

���Of this season of the Great British Bake Off is …”

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, squeezing it tightly as he waited the agonizing three seconds.

“Marge!”

“Fucking yes!” Louis yelled, jumping off the sofa and dancing around. Niall was on his feet too, but as Louis turned to Harry, he found him sitting there, his mouth open slightly, staring at the screen as though he wasn’t even seeing it.

“Harry, what …”

“You held my hand.”

15. How did you grow as a writer this year? I allowed myself to just write. In years past, I kind of did maybe two stories a year just because I wanted them to be different, I wanted the perfect prompt, or I was just lazy as hell. But this year I was pushing out fics every few months and it felt GREAT.

16. How do you hope to grow next year? I hope to possibly enter a fest or two so that I can get a little more traffic on my fics (as well as querying in real life for my finished book and finish writing the new one I’m working on - that’s going to be super exciting)

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer? (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc) Every person who helped me work through plot holes and major mistakes and read my work before it was even out - especially @sunflowersometimes @daggerandrose @chloehl10 . They’re my main source of motivation ❤️

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? Not specifically, though I like to think I put a piece of myself into every fic and every character, and if you know me really well, you’ll be able to catch it. But I wrote a fantasy fic which is literally what I want my real life to be so I THINK I’ll go with that 😂

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers? Write. Write every day, even if it’s only three pages or three sentences or three words. Write from your heart. Don’t let the interaction - or lack thereof - of others dictate how you feel about your work. Ask other writers to beta for you - it’s more fun when you work with someone else.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? I have several projects in the works: The Dear Devoted Delicate Series (one mini fic for every year they’ve been together); If There’s No You (an amnesia fic); If We Can’t Stop The Bleeding (a vampire fic); and Place In Me (a 1D reunion fic). I’m sure there will be more but that’s all I really have planned at the moment. Hopefully you’ll get to see them ALL 😘

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. Anyone who wants to do this can - I’m sure most of you have already been tagged 💞

[dreamescapeswriting]

I Hate To Admit ~ Bang Chan [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.6K

PAIRING: Chan x GN!Reader

GENRE: Angst, fluffy

A/N: I made it a fluffy ending I cant help it.

The longer that Chan sat there listening to the rain outside the window the more he began to grow uneasy about everything he had done that day. It was his turn to release an Skz-Record and he'd written something from the heart, something he'd been holding back on for so long that he needed to get out. Now it had been out in the world for almost eight hours and he was already wondering about you, had you seen it yet? What did you think about it? Did you even know that it was about you? Would you even care that he had done something like that?

The clock on his desk began blinking as it reached midnight and he knew he was going to have to head back to the dorms sooner or later but he didn't want to. As much as he loved being around the boys he needed some time alone, time to think about everything he had lost and he didn't want to go back yet. The boys all knew who the song was going to be about which meant they were going to have a million and one questions about you, why you had left in the first place, why he'd written such a sad song and why Chan would never tell the boys what had truly happened to you. Going back to them met admitting that he missed you and he did, he missed you every minute of every day but he could never say that out loud to anyone but himself. There were times where your voice still echoed in the back of his mind and being at the studio was one of the moments he still felt as though he was close to you. Imagining you sat on the chairs behind him waiting for him to finish one of the pieces he was working on. He still pictured you waiting up for him at the dorms, sitting in one of his shirts playing video games or passed out on the sofa so tired from waiting for him but you would always be there.

"Chan? You ready?" He snapped out of his daydream as he glanced over at the door, his manager had been watching him for a few minutes debating about interrupting the young man's thoughts.

"No, I'm...I'm going to work on this a little more," He lied as he turned back to the blank laptop screen, he was already so tired it wouldn't matter if he stayed in the studio that night he just didn't want to go home yet. Not to an empty bed where he couldn't sleep, he couldn't sleep without you by his side which is why he had begged you to stay with him but you didn't.

"You told me you would never leave! You promised!" He yelled out as you stood across from him in the dorms, throwing your clothes into a bag as you tried to leave as quickly as possible. Tears welling up in your eyes as you tried not to look at him, looking at him you would see how much this was hurting him but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and you couldn't give it up. It was your life's work and someone was finally taking you seriously, your dream was to be a writer and now that was finally able to come true he wasn't willing to let you go?

"I'll be back Channie, I need this." You breathed as you placed your bag over your shoulder, heading towards the exit when he took hold of your hand. The familiar spark you always felt jolted through your body only making you cry harder at the thought of leaving him. The two of you had spoken about it before, you'd managed a long-distance relationship when he was away on tour, it would be no different. You would be back sooner than he could think about it but he was set on never letting you leave.

"I'll be back...I need this, you know how much this means to me." You tried to let him know gently that this was your dream but he was blind to everything, all he could think about was the promises you had made that you were now breaking.

"You lied to me. You promised that you would never leave and now you're leaving." His voice cracked and you turned to look at him, tears rushing down your face as you reached your hand up to touch him. You hadn't seen Chan this upset since the survival show and it broke you to see him with his eyes so red and tears staining his cheeks.

"You said you would support my dreams." You reminded him but he stepped back from you, shaking his head as he let you walk out of the door, leaving everything behind without trying to fix it.

Chan never should have let you leave the way you did, it was one of the biggest mistakes in his life. He should have made up with you before you got on the plane and left the country to be far away from him, he didn't have to be as selfish as he was but he couldn't see a world without you in it and to this day he still couldn't. How could he ever forget the way you were, how could he not remember all of the little things you did that made him smile and even things that would annoy him but that he still loved about you? He always regretted never responding to the texts and calls you left him when you landed for your new job, he ignored you, ghosting you and telling the boys to do the same.

"Fuck," He mumbled as he looked down at the photo of you he had on his desk, he'd never moved it from the moment that he put it there. It was a photo of you and him together after the boy's first award win, you were holding onto him tightly as tears rushed down both of your faces. You had the photo framed so that you could prove to Chan every day how much you supported his dream and how much of an amazing achievement he had won in the past to keep him motivated but now? Now it felt like a person torture device sitting on his desk, painfully reminding him that although you had supported him he hadn't done the same for you.

Staggering into the dorms that night he stripped out of the drenching wet coat he was wearing and hung it up on the coat rack to dry for the next day. He scratched the back of his neck as he walked through the hallway and into the living room, glancing over at the sofa as he saw you sitting there. 

"I'm too tired," He mumbled as he began rubbing his eyes thinking that the image of you sitting there, in his shirt was just all in his head but as he glanced back over you were staring at him. Two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table as you waited for him to come and sit down. 

"You wouldn't be so tired if you got some decent sleep," You quipped as you moved over on the sofa, Chan's mind raced as he stared at you. He must have fallen asleep in the studio it was the only explanation for you to be sitting there so calmly as if nothing had happened. 

"Channie, please...We need to talk." You whispered as you waited for him to go and sit beside you, he hesitantly walked over and took the drink from the table, sitting down expecting everything to fade away as he woke up. 

"The song." You whispered again placing your hand over his and that was when he knew it was real, that you were truly sitting across from him and touching him. That you were back. 

"The song," He repeated, placing his hand on top of yours as he waited for you to say something else but no words could express what you were feeling. You had been on the plane flying home to see him when the song dropped, making you rethink everything in your relationship if there was even one to go back to. 

"How did you know I was coming back?" He questioned as he looked at you and then to the time, it was almost 2 in the morning and he never would have expected to find you here. 

"I came as soon as I landed...Felix let me in and I slept in your bed for a while...Then I figured you'd probably come home at some ungodly hour like you used to," You laughed softly remembering all the times he would come home late like this, it never once bothered you because you knew how much he adored his word and you would always make sure he slept when he came in.

"But...Why are you back? I thought the job was what you wanted," It had been everything you wanted but it was awful, you were completely miserable the whole time because it wasn't as fun as they had made it out to be, promising you all these amazing opportunities only to make you an errand-runner. Not having Chan in your life made it all the worse, with Chan by your side you felt like anything was possible.

"I didn't want the job if it meant I never got to see you again...Plus...They kind of sucked, I became an errand-runner." You mumbled as you laid your head on his shoulder and just like that it was as if nothing had changed. The four months you spent apart never happened and Chan was just glad to have you back in his life and in his arms where he was never going to let you go without telling you how much he supported you. 

"We'll find you something good, something better...I will support you...I promise." He whispered as he laid a small kiss on your forehead, you hummed tiredly as you relaxed against him just happy to be back in his arms once again.

Tagline: @taestannie​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @sw33tnight​ @mwitsmejk​ @acciocriativity​ @minholuvs​ @anxiousbobatea​ @justbangtanthingz​

[stxleslyds]

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.

[harrysweasleys]

tender, love and care // s.w

summary: patching sam up after a mission 

warnings: injury, language 

word count: 1.4k

a/n: here’s another cute little (unrequested) sam piece to kind of re-motivate me to write!! i haven’t written in a while and i do miss it, so here’s something cute i hope you guys enjoy! (gif by @jamesbuckybarns​) 

—

No matter how many times Sam had left on missions, taking off left and right no matter what time of day, it really never got easier. Half the time, you really had no idea what the hell he was going off to do — something about confidentiality or whatever — and it only multiplied your existing worries. 

Sam could be gravely injured, or worse, and you’d really have no clue until the mission was complete and someone stopped by to let you know. He couldn’t contact you at all once he was out that door and kickin’ ass, and it was brutal.

Which is why you were more than relieved when Sam, thankfully, came home relatively early. The mission was supposed to last about a week according to Fury, so Sam coming home just four days later was the most pleasant of surprises. He carried his suit in a briefcase, and you could tell he was exhausted as he practically dragged it through the front door. No amount of training and working out could ever fully prepare someone for going out into the field. Not even an Avenger.

You rushed up from the couch, feet carrying you to the front door faster than you thought you could even move. He didn’t smell nice — blood, sweat, and some kind of vinegar? — but you threw your arms around him anyway, resting your head on his shoulder. He dropped the case in his hand, engulfing you right back. His skin was sticky, but you knew he had rushed home. He rarely ever stayed at the Avengers facility once finished with a task, so he definitely hadn’t showered yet. He probably hadn’t showered since he left, if you were being honest.

“Missed you, princess,” Sam muttered against your skin, causing butterflies to flutter in your chest. How many years of dating now, and every time he would tell you how he really felt, you’d be a pile of mush in his arms. Even four years on.

“Are you injured?” you asked, pulling away yet keeping your arms on his shoulders. Your eyes scanned his face, and in the light of the entryway, you could spot a few small cuts and bruises littering his cheekbones and jawline.

He shrugged, “Just a little bit of accessorizing, but I’m okay.”

You gave him a look as if to say ‘nice try,’ before linking your hand in his and beginning to drag him to the bathroom, leaving the briefcase and his shoes by the door. He knew you were going to clean him up, and he really didn’t mind. In fact, he usually enjoyed it. He’d say it was a way to be close to you, and he’d take any chance he could get to do that. But this time, you knew he probably was okay, and just wanted to get to sleep.

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” you mumbled once you reached the bathroom, leaning down under the sink to collect your first aid box. You used to have just a tiny kit of tweezers and gauze, but the longer you dated Sam, the bigger your medical collection got.

“Why can’t we do this tomorrow?” he groaned, sitting on the edge of the bathtub anyway, “I really doubt they’ll get worse, and I really just want to sleep. I missed having you next to me, and I don’t want to wait much longer before I can have that again.”

You let out a small laugh as you laid out your disinfectants and tiny bandages, “You make it sound like I’m going to take hours. It’ll only take five minutes tops,” you turned to face him, dabbing a bit of the disinfectant onto a cotton pad, “Besides, what if they get infected? You might have to get your face removed.”

“I really don’t think that’s how it works,” he chuckled softly, tilting his head up to the light so you could begin to tap it gently onto his skin. He didn’t wince, nor did he rush you. Of course, he was used to it by now and the pain probably barely registered to him, but you were always impressed with how patient he’d be. No matter the mood, no matter the injury, he would sit there and let you patch him up.

You weren’t even sure it made a difference, and he was most likely evaluated by SHIELD medical personnel beforehand, but it made you feel better. Made you feel like you were helping. And because of that, he’d never turn you down.

“How would you know?” You asked, raising an eyebrow, “Have you ever had an infected face?”

“Have you been watching more serial killer documentaries?” His voice was laced with amusement, “You’re getting gruesome.”

Tossing the cotton pad in the trash and picking up the bandaids, you gave him a small smirk, “That’s neither here nor there, love. Don’t you worry, you won’t get infected. I came to the rescue. Who’s the real superhero here, huh?”

His eyebrows rose as you began to place tiny bandages on his skin, “Oh, clearly you. I don’t know why I’m the one who’s always on the news, because you’re the true life saver here, princess.”

“Damn right I am,” you pressed a kiss to his forehead as you placed the last bandage on his skin, looking over one more time to see if you missed anything, “What even happened to you? How did you get so many tiny cuts on your face? Did you fall asleep on a crumpled piece of paper?”

He chuckled, standing up and pressing a kiss to your temple, “Do you want the truth or do you want the fake, tough guy version of the story?”

You finished tossing wrappers into the trash, cocking an eyebrow and crossing your arms over your chest, “Oh, do enlighten me with both.”

He laughed, helping you put your first aid tools back into your box, “The truth is that I fell face first into asphalt. It’s very rough on the skin. I was kicked from behind and tumbled over. But, the story I’m going to tell is that I was attacked by ninja-stars.”

Shaking your head with a laugh, you finished cleaning up the counter and put your bin back under the sink. Despite the horrors that Sam had seen in his life, his sense of humour never faltered. You really didn’t understand it, nor do you know how he came up with stuff half the time, but your relationship was never dull. And that was something the both of you could appreciate.

“Now is it time for bed?” He asked, leaning against the doorframe with a smile on his lips. You could see the exhaustion in his eyes, in the slouch of his shoulders. 

“You don’t want to take a shower first?” You asked with a tilt of your head, “You’re covered in ick. I don’t want that in bed. Especially not if you’re going to be snuggled up to me like a koala bear.”

He rolled his eyes, letting out yet another groan, “Fine,” he dragged out the word dramatically, walking over to you and placing his hands on either side of your waist, “But, you know, you were touching my skin, so you should probably shower too, princess. To be safe. Wouldn’t want you to get infected, right?”

You nearly smacked his arm due to the way he was looking at you. Nearly all signs of exhaustion were gone at the smirk of his lips, the teasing glint in his eyes. You honestly don’t know how he went from nearly falling asleep standing up mere seconds ago, to flirting with you just a moment later. 

“Oh, are you sure you’re up for that?” You teased, one of your hands moving down his arm, “Wouldn’t want to keep you up later than necessary. You’re looking pretty tired.”

He gave you a look, “Believe me, I’m never too tired to shower with you. Never. I could be on my deathbed, and if I heard the sound of the water turn on, I’d be crawling over to join.”

You leaned your head against his chest, letting out a laugh. He really was quite the charmer.

“Fine, but it’ll be quick,” you faced him once more, trying to be serious but failing to hide your growing smile, “No funny business, Wilson. We need to get you caught up on sleep.”

“Yes,” he saluted, placing a light kiss against your forehead before rushing to turn the shower on. 

Something told you neither of you would be getting sleep anytime soon.

—

[ezrasarm]

Morning Coffee

Pairing: Javier Peña x gn!reader

Summary: In which we pretend you’re a morning person

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: one swear word? Subtle implications of sex but not necessarily with reader, fluff

A/n: I’m back babyyyyyy! I’ve had this kicking around in my WIPs for ages and I figured it was finally time to polish it off. It’s been a looooong while since I’ve written for Javi and I’m not exactly certain what brought this on but I hope you enjoy it!

Masterlist

Javier was still fast asleep when you sat yourself down on the edge of the bed next to him. “Morning sleepyhead,” You hum, although you’re still only met with soft snores and shallow breathing. It makes you smile for a moment. It’s not often that you get to see him this relaxed. He certainly wasn’t last night when he came barging up to your apartment in the wee hours of the morning livid about something Steve had done that could’ve gotten them both killed on their stakeout.

He felt bad the moment you threw the door open, half asleep, hair frazzled and in your pjs. He’d woken you up. He hadn’t even been thinking when he came over. All he knew was that he had to see you. There had been a pause when he finally processed what he’d done, throwing a thumb over his shoulder awkwardly and going to excuse himself to leave.

You caught his wrist and dragged him inside before he even had a chance. You’d managed to keep your eyes open long enough for him to apologize for waking you up and to hear at least the start of his rant on what an awful day he had but eventually your eyelids grew heavy and dropped into your line of sight. Before you knew it it was eight in the morning, blinding sunlight was pouring in through a crack in the curtains and there was a cat peering down at you waiting for food.

“Javier,” you murmur, pushing his bed frazzled hair off of his forehead so you could press a kiss to it. You don’t get much more than a groan in return when he shifts underneath you. “Javier, you're gonna be late if you don’t get up soon.” You say, pressing a kiss to his lips this time instead.

You’re almost convinced he’s still asleep until just as you’re shifting to pull away and reassess your human alarm options he leans up and catches your lips with his. “What about the alarm?”

“You came in so late last night I turned it off when I got up cause I knew you needed the extra sleep.” You explained, brushing your fingers through his hair again.

“What time is it?”

“Nine fifteen.”

“I still have time.” He grumbles, settling back into his pillow more when you feel the telltale squeeze of his arm around your waist. Just as he’s about to tug you down beside him you let out a squeal.

“Coffee! Hot coffee in my hand, don’t you fucking dare!” At that, he finally cracks an eye open. Figures, coffee would get his attention.

“You brought me coffee?” He asks softly and you nod. There’s something in his eye, foreign to the drowsy squint from the sunlight and hazy croak of his morning voice. Surprise?

“How long have you been up?”

“An hour or so. The cat needed feeding.”

“Stupid cat,”

“You know you like him.” You tease and you manage to catch the slight quirk to his lips at that.

“He could be worse.” He shrugs, finally shuffling over in the bed to take the mug from your hand as you squeeze in beside him, folding your legs over his and leaning over to reach for your own mug on the nightstand.

“I could get used to this.” He sighed after his first sip. There was something about being brought coffee in bed that warmed the heart and made him feel so incredibly cared for in a way that felt completely alien to him. He swore it tasted better like this.

“Yeah well this is the kind of treatment you get when you bother to stick around in the morning.” You tease.

“I stick around in the morning!” He squeaks out defensively. You don’t think you’ve ever heard his voice that high and it almost makes you lose your coffee when you fail to suppress a laugh.

“Mhmm? For five minutes,”

“It’s more than I can say for…” he cuts himself off and you roll your eyes.

“I know, Javi.” You weren’t oblivious.

“I haven’t- since things between you and I have started getting more serious, I haven’t… y’know, wanted to.” His tone has evened out again, a lower whisper as though he’s almost afraid to say it out loud.

“More serious,” you hum “Is that what we are now?” You smile but you knew he was right. He’d come over last night with no ulterior motives than to sleep next to you instead of in his own empty bed and for Javier Peña that’s about as serious it had gotten since Lorraine.

You finish your coffees in relative silence, the odd remark about your plans for the day and an exclamation when the cat decides Javi is the chosen one this morning and curls up in the most awkward position possible on his ankle. An odd sense of dread grips your heart when he finally shifts to start getting ready to go to work but you manage to force it down until you’re at the door bidding him a good day and forcing the set of keys he’d almost forgotten on your nightstand into his hand.

“No letting Murphy drag you around sketchy areas tonight. I don’t need you taking a bullet for his stupidity.”

“It was the heat of the moment, he didn’t even know where he was going.”

“That’s exactly what I mean Javi, I need you back in one piece.” And suddenly you’re the one feeling like you’ve said too much. Being a little caught off guard he decides to side step the implications of that sentiment for just a moment. Javier had never been one for relationships, but with you they didn’t seem so bad after all.

“I’m riding the desk today anyway. Gotta do a proper debrief over last night.” He assures you, dropping his hands from where they had been running up and down your upper arms so he can open the door.

“I’ll see you tonight, yeah?” He says and you nod, leaning into him so you can press a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’ll see you tonight.” You smile and with that he’s contented as you shut the door behind him. It’s not until he makes it down to his car that he notices something on his key ring. He almost thinks you’d given him yours by accident until he takes a moment for further inspection. It’s an extra key that you’ve wrapped a sticky note around. In your own messy scrawl are the words “so you don’t have to feel bad about waking me up next time.”

Next time. He thinks to himself, a proud half smile as he keyed into his car and one that remained the entire drive into work and loomed in the back of his mind for the whole day to follow.

Masterlist

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