#i got into around the time the second ep in season three came out

[sleeping-at-sea]

Listening to Make Believe (By Jakeneutron, The Collector fan song) makes me wanna watch The Owl House again

[lolabearwrites]

Random things I would have loved for Voltron

-Keith never leaves w/ the BOM and stays the leader of Voltron (I have no problem with him being a blade, I actually enjoyed watching it, but I just didn't like him choosing them over Voltron)

-also! I wished we actually saw the "Galra Keith reveal" w/ the team. Such a missed opportunity.

-More of Lance being Keith's second in command. I feel like we didn't get a lot of that.

-Shiro stays dead. Look I love the man. One of my favorite characters. But after S2 it always feels like he just doesn't quite fit into the story like he used to.

-Very biased. But. Klance romance. Not the "will they won't they" shit. No. A actual relationship development. If it was written well I could see it happening maybe in s4/s5?

-Lotor and Keith friendship! Bonding over being mixed race and not fitting in.

-Keith learning Galra culture! Maybe through Lotor? Or BOM?

-Lotura. Pls. They were so cute.

-Oh, should have said this before the other three, but a Lotor redemption arc.

-A Keith and Lance ep. Because in eight seasons they never had an episode centered around them like they did for other characters. Klance had moments. But not eps.

-A Pidge arc !! She had a motivation (save her family) but not really an arc. The same could be said for Hunk.

-follow through with Lance's character development. Writers...you already set him up for it, you just had to follow through with it and actually do something with it.

-more found family fluff throughout the seasons. Because I felt like they never actually got to the level of "found family" if that makes sense

-change the armor color to match the lions. Mostly because I feel Keith wearing Shiro's armor for the first time when he takes over would also have an emotional impact.

- Coran being fleshed out. I know he's a comic relief. But I really love Coran! And I'd love to know more about him.

- I wish the team all had their own little quirks or interests, just something that didn't really have big significance to the story but made them feel more real, you know.

-okay, but It would have been amazing if team Voltron came to a planet that had no idea there was life outside their planet. Just like earth. Idk I feel like it would be funny XD

Anyway, that's my food for thought, feel free to add to this post :)

[feelbetterlove-books]

Okay I've rewatched episode 2 and I have some thoughts, forgive me if this has been done, but here's my take on how the Tommy Lands That Plane theory can still win!! Keep in mind I'm not a writer or a pilot 😅 I really know nothing, I'm just having fun, as del(o)usional as I may be. Putting this under a cut because it got long!

I've been thinking that this plane disaster honestly could have been wrapped up in one episode. I know it's a three part premiere but episode one had a different focus and episode three could have gone back to bees or done something else, imo there doesn't seem to be a huge reason to drag it out another 40 minutes unless they were going to do something big (for example, having Tommy pull a wild stunt like rappelling into the plane) (aside from the fact that Angela Bassett is arguably the biggest star and they're possibly dragging it out just to give her something cool and dramatic to do).

Here's why:

First, the bees, where did they go? They obviously caused the crash and they were in the plane when Athena first got to the cockpit, but then they disappeared?? We don't see them on the plane later on even through there's plenty of holes for them to come in through, and we don't even see them on the ground in Bobby's plot line or anything.

If they had wanted to cause more drama on the flight to extend the emergency with the passengers, there could have been bees on board, and maybe more people who were allergic. Instead, the disasters from episode one and two only overlap a little bit.

Second: the on plane emergencies. Only a few passengers were critically injured and they've been dealt with, all that was really left for them to do was wait and hope the plane didn't fall apart around them. They could show more passengers getting injured now, but at this point the 118 aren't on their phones prepared to talk them through it, they're on the move and ready to see the plane land.

The plane could crash and then we'd have plenty for everyone to work with, but idk they've already done a plane crash recovery and I think if it was going to happen, it would have been a better cliffhanger then the copilot going down.

I'm not sure, maybe Athena could still get the copilot back, but it didn't seem like it to me, and if she did idk what the point of him having a heart attack would be in the first place. Unfortunately, that man does not have Bobby's plot armor, and I really don't think he's going to be able to help with the landing. And if he can't, then they're pretty much back at square one as far as getting the plane on the ground goes.

Most of the episode we saw Athena reluctantly planning to go along with landing the plane herself, or working with Jem, who is much more knowledgeable, but I think if he was going to be able to land it, they could have shaved off some time from other scenes and it could have already been done at the end of this ep. The two of them and ATC have already worked together, tried, struggled, and ultimately failed to land the plane, and the situation is only getting more dangerous. I think they need a new idea and a new person to come in and help pull the landing off safely. And I think that person could be Tommy!!

For a start, I believe it has been confirmed that these episodes are in fact, inspired by Airport 1975, and my understanding is that the pilot rappelling from a helicopter into the plane is quite an important part of that movie, so it just makes sense that it could happen in episode three!

Now we might say, but Tommy flies helicopters, not planes! However, it is at the very least implied in season two that he can do both when Chimney called him to drop water on that neighborhood. And I'm choosing to believe for the sake of this theory and the invisible string, that it was really him.

We also know that the 217 is likely involved on the ground and it's possible that Tommy was working and he or someone else came up with this idea, and he got sent up. He's definitely brave and crazy enough to do it if the unsanctioned search for a cruise ship in a hurricane is any indication. Plus, he's becoming a part of the 118's found family, he has even more reason to do this than he did at the start of season seven and he'll be damned if he saved Athena then just for her to die now!!

Another main reason I think Tommy could land the plane is that one, it would remind the GA that he's a cool and competent pilot, and two, involving him in a big scene like this could go a long way towards establishing him not only as Buck's boyfriend, but also a character in his own right. One who can just fit into calls like Athena and Maddie do, one who could expand the range of what can be done in future episodes by linking the streets to the sky. We could even have a plot line with Buck taking those flying lessons. With the way they all get into accidents, it sure would be useful to have a certified pilot or two on hand to help the 118 as needed!!

Tommy might not be a main character now, but depending on how many seasons 9-1-1 has left, and taking into account how much Tim loves working with Lou, I mean, I think he could be one day and this would be a great way to set that up.

There's also the fact that Buck and Bobby are together on the site of where it seems the plane will be landing and this would give us the perfect opportunity for parallel Bucktommy & Bathena big dramatic kisses!! Plus there has already been reason to speculate that Lou was working with Angela and I mean just imagine it!! THIS WOULD BE SO COOL WE'RE THIS CLOSE TO HAVING IT ALL BUCKTOMMY NATION!! Tommy lovers, we could live off of this for years!! And I am going to keep my fingers crossed until we either fail to see Lou's name in the opening credits, or the plane is landed another way!

[thatunusualwriter]

𝙳𝙽𝙰 𝙸𝚜 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 (𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎)

Character pairing: (TMNT FF) Dark Leonardo/Leon x GN!Reader

Summary: If you had seen TMNT 2003, season 6 ep 23 and thought that some flavor was missing in it then we are on the same boat. Let me welcome you to a fan-made rewrite of that episode additioning a Reader as a savior of this story, enjoy your stay!

Warnings: hurt/comfort, injury

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⛓💙🍊🗡️⛓.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

It becomes less shocking when Cody Jones becomes a center of a strife for the umpteenth time over a period of time when you get to know him, and his terrapin friends weren't really the start of Cody's magnetic misfortune that always finds him.

But before the turtles appeared and became caretakers who put the red-haired teen out of trouble there were other people, Serling, Starlee Hambrath and Y/N L/N, his 'supportive' uncle doesn't really count.

And when Cody's family friend, Y/N, happens to be around when on vacation, then they came to terms that as a second adult in Cody's life and as a friend they hold a certain responcibility that comes with involvement in Cody's troubles. After the fiasco on the Moon he and the turtles executed when Y/N wasn't around for a moment, they became extra sharp at observing so nothing would get past them again.

When Serling contacted Y/N there's a rule that had to be made not to bring them to the highest stress levels; first, make it clear that no one is hurt if that is the case, and then explain the situation. Y/N was just out shopping when the loyal robot caretaker made a call about a shooting and an ambush at the penthouse and they have a 'guest' who needs some painkillers that was out of stock at home, it took thirty minutes to get to the drug store and back to the O'Neil Penthouse but the ride up the elevator felt like it took an eternity while Y/N paced back and forth with the bags still hanging from their forearms.

The elevator's ring was almost deafening and Y/N barged through the metal door once it was open sufficiently.

A medbay isn't that far away, it has a straight hallway to be saved from trouble of getting through many doors and rooms to reach it. It wasn't long until Y/N could easily recognize the voices through the open, ring-shaped doorframe.

Even though they were ready to see who the guest is, someone Donatello described in awe briefly that Y/N's ears picked up on, they didn't expect to see this big, blue terrapin almost at the same height and size of Serling himself.

"— There's barely half-a-dozen minor differences between Leo's and that thing's DNA sequences."

Y/N almost missed what Donatello said as they kept staring at the unconscious guest on a medical bed that monitored the health, and judging by the force field around the blue terrapin it quite enough told them that they should be cautious.

"But Leo's Leo, and that's a mess." Raphael retorted soon after his brother's finished sentence, sounding grouchy.

With a deep breath, Y/N pushed themself off the frame and began to descend down the three stairs, waving at their friends. "Hey guys, I got the meds." after everyone greeted back in their own way, they went over to the turtle in purple. "So, how's he hanging?"

Donatello offered a brief polite smile their way before looking back at the red screen in front of him, resuming his attention at the medical and DNA reports with Y/N also looking at the text over his shoulder. "The Auto-docs will mend his wounds as best they can, then he'll need rest."

"What?! A fifth turtle?!" Serling's nonchalant posture broke down, his optics nearly popping out, with tiredness as he began to hold his metal head. "Oh.. I need to sit down..." as soon as he was squatted Cody tried not to snicker at the robot's silly gloominess.

Raphael had something on his mind to say about that, and was quite ready to hurl himself bodily at their injured guest. "That thing can't stay here! He just tried to off us! Again!!"

The older terrapin in blue stopped him before he could make two steps forward, hand at Raphael's plastron. "What are we going to do? Drop him off at the hospital and tell everyone to watch their fingers and toes?"

"He's in a portable force field that the Hovershell would have a tough time busting through." Donatello took Leonardo's side when trying to reason with their hotheaded brother, who means well but sometimes lacks empathy. "We can keep him here safely until he's stable enough to move."

"And after he gets betta', then what?" Raphael grunted, staring daggers at his brother's doppleganger.

Awkwardly enough, everyone fell silent and avoided eye contact after sparing a glance Raphael's way.

"... Don't everyone answer all at once." Michelangelo butted in with his comedic wit, and Raphael might have hit his little brother like he almost always does if Y/N wouldn't be there.

The turtle in red got a slap on the head back every time he did it to Michelangelo and Y/N witnessed it, over the short stay in the future Raphael learned to watch his three-fingered hands in their presence.

Y/N let out a short laugh, trying to keep the mood tense-less. "Well, you could always let the guy go? Also, I think I need explanation on how this guy came to be- like, what's his name?"

"Isn't freak good enough name fo' this thing?" Raphael scoffed snarkily and didn't notice the not-so-subtle side-eye from Y/N.

Donatello took it upon himself to properly answer so their friend wouldn't be in the dark about this whole situation. Cody was most excited to tell Y/N about the part where he was saved by the blue turtle. His childish astonishment always makes them smile, it's good to see him being a kid that he is even with all that responcibility over O'Neil Tech.

Y/N kept their eyes on the unnamed turtle, a clone, the one who with other three clones ambushed the turtles for the third time and then he risked his life for Cody in one day, in a spawn of twenty-thirty minutes. It was suspicious, to say the least, but they should show some gratefullness towards the injured guest nonetheless. That's how Y/N feels.

The more they stared at the one-eyed terrapin, he began to look less like Leonardo in their eyes. He may be a clone, with some little differency of his DNA from the blue-masked turtle, but Y/N can see that this turtle is his own person(?) and shouldn't be treated no differently. Although Y/N can understand the incredulous caution that is controlled by fear from the others, they decided to try see for themself who this blue terrapin really is.

When Cody was sent to bed by Serling, Y/N walked to Donatello who is still by the Force Shield as an excuse to have a better look at the giant turtle.

He is, for the lack of better words, not that scary-looking as the others portrayed him to be. They wonders if he's blind on the left eye, a round metal device is in it's place instead. The mini doc bots scatter around the bulk of his body, that may indeed look intimidating to some, especially given his height. Noticing that his breathing is shallow and slow, and a lot of bandages are over his body and arms, the laser he was hit with must have been quite a sucker-punch of pain. The thought alone made Y/N slightly grimace and the turtle in purple noticed, of course.

"Nasty wounds." Y/N commented with affinity and Donatello hummed as an agreement. "I guess you guys will need all help there is with this guy, I will put my hand to the work, no problem."

Donatello blinked in genuine suprise, turning to face them. "But you don't have to, you're here on vacation to enjoy Cody before going back to the Moon."

Smiling back, Y/N gives his forearm a gentle pat. "I know."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Time flew by and day passed by day, until day fifth since their guest was hospitalized there arrived. When night coated upon New York, and the time approached at midnight, the blue turtle woke up with a startled gasp and immediately sat up, examining his hands.

"Hey, uh, guy?" Donatello called from the side uncertainly, waiting for him to look his way before continuing. He, his brothers and Y/N has been waiting for him to wake up for five days, many took shifts of keeping a watch over night until morning to feel more secure when having a clone of Leonardo over. They all were about to discuss who's up for a night shift until their guest finally regained consciousness, which was so sudden it slightly startled everyone.

"You've been unconscious for almost a week. How do you feel?" Donatello tried to sound genuine, even leaning in closer to the force field.

As expected, once their guest had a look around the unfamiliar enviroment and remembered the situation he's in, his perkiness turned into sour grumpiness. With crossed arms he made himself comfortable half-sitting on the bed and looking straight ahead, ignoring Donatello and his question with a light grunt.

Y/N looked over at Michelangelo that just came over with a tray that has food, medicine, and water. Leonardo at Michelangelo's left side had a remote ready.

"Here, um..." Leonardo slightly trailed off as he pressed and rotated some buttons until the tray began to levitate over to their imprisoned guest. "The force field is calibrated to accept that tray. Understand?"

"You're talking to him as if he's a pet..." Y/N sighed softly with a wry smile at the turtle in blue who only rubbed at his nape sheeplishly.

And, of course, Michelangelo couldn't help himself once more as soon as that tray entered the caged space; "Yum-yum's go innie, you, no come outy."

"Shut up!" the blue turtle growled, his raspy voice was dry and no doubt it was burning the inside of his throat. He was beyond agitated to be talked to like he's an idiot, and rightfully so. But he still caitiously leaned to the floating try, taking few, quick snifs while he scowled and glared at whatever his golden eye looked at.

"What's in it? Poison?"

"Poison? You think we'd save your life so we could feed you a ransid ham sandwich?" Leonardo almost sounded offended that his own clone would come to that conclusion when he should know him better than everyone.

"My brothers would." the blue turtle grunted and before anyone could pursue him into taking a bite he lifted his right arm, swapping the tray like a fly into the force shield that didn't let it pass through this time and everything fell to the floor. "Go stick it!"

Michelangelo covered his mouth with his hands and Y/N whinced at the sound of a broken plate.

"Oh, this is gonna be swell." Raphael rubbed at his head as he said it with utmost sarcasm.

And while Donatello tried to clean the mess with Michelangelo's help and Raphael observed like a hawk, Y/N walked to Leonardo and lightly brushed his hand to get his attention.

"I think you guys make him anxious." Y/N glanced over at the blue turtle that decided to turn his back on them all.

They looked back at the older turtle brother, who is still very much a teen kid to them.

"Let me handle it." they offered and Leonardo frowned slightly at the proposal. "I'll be careful. It's just food and medicine."

"I don't think this is- well... Safe."

With a sigh, Leonardo looked over at his unresponcive clone and at his brothers before looking back at his human friend, who has given him a little frowny expression instead of words that were not needed. He knows they'd keep asking with persuation until he'd have to give in. And he's certainly not ready to argue about anything today when he didn't get a wink of sleep from yesterday's night watch.

"Okay... Okay, go for it. But, really, be careful and don't get close." Leonardo rubbed at his tired eyes through his iconic blue mask, groaning with defeat.

Y/N beamed at him with a toothy smile and patted his shoulder. "Get some sleep, kiddo."

Nodding, the turtle in blue called his brothers and they followed after him with uncertainity but obeyed nonetheless.

Y/N was grateful for the silence after Michelangelo was pryed off of them when he tried to prolong their hug on his way out. Shaking their head and stiffling a giggle, and walking out of the Medbay to get some things.

The clone was left alone in the lighten room, the buzzing device of the force field was the only thing that broke the silence. And although he's glad to have shaken off the four turtles and the unfamiliar human, he indeed is thirsty and hungry and began to regret he didn't take that damned sandwich.

As some minutes passed, his beaten body began to ache all over that it was impossible to find the right laying position. He grunted and growled in frustration from the pain but as soon as he heard approaching footsteps he bit down on his tongue and stilled on his back. To be caught wiggling like a whiney street dog would be too embarrassing, it's bad enough he has to be locked up by his sworn enemies.

The blue turtle, however, didn't expect the human to be the one to come back, he rather expected it to be the red-haired boy.

He greeted them with a snarl, and observed them with squinted eye, when they looked at him.

Y/N expected nothing less, rather that they'd get yelled at, and although the tension began to make them more self-conscious about every movement they made because they were watched closely, they put on a brave face by smiling softly back at the terrapin.

"Sorry about those four, they can be... perky." apologetically chuckling from the sudden nervousness, Y/N re-arranged the things in their arms they got from the kitchen. They made their way to a table in medbay, that's right in front of the hospitalized terrapin where they put down the bread, butter, water bottle, a glass cup, and ham with an extra plate.

Registering that he's not answering, but still glaring while burning holes through them from all that staring, they understood that he may not be in the mood and they didn't want to push his buttons but when feeling a little awkward it's best to keep a conversation - even if one-sided - going. And Y/N is one of those who do just that instead of keeping their mouth shut.

"So— I don't know how you like your sandwich but I'll put more ham in it. Unless you do mind that, uh, hm..." their brows lightly furrowed as they mulled over something that invaded their mind in the middle of swapping some butter on the bread.

The blue turtle smelled a little fear from the human, and it was somewhat satisfying to know that, he watched now sat on the bed as they were making food that's apparently for him unless it's just a cruel taunting. But he saw nor smelled nothing fishy that could have poison.

"Say, I realized that I don't know your name, what are you called?" humming, Y/N finished the layer of butter on four bread slices and began to open the packs with ham.

Because Y/N didn't look this time they didn't notice the confused stupor the terrapin froze in.

A name? He is called many things, nasty names, but never have been given a name. Neither his brothers have names. Truthfully they never thought about getting one. They just call each other names like everyone does since their creation, they just went with that.

For once, that question made him feel... at unease.

"... I don't want to call out to you as; "hey, guy!" or "hey, man!" when speaking to you. It's just... not right. It's almost as if you're not a creature, but a thing." Y/N bit down on their lip as they perfectly placed four big slices on two breads before placing the untouched two slices at each bread, then they cut the two sandwiches in triangle shapes.

"Or if you just don't want me to know I can understand—"

"I have no name." the reply came out sharply.

Y/N was startled, still not used to the gruffness of his voice that always cut through the air with it's growling tone, that it almost made them spill the water over the glass. They were expecting to have just one-sided conversation because he looked uncomfortable with them there, this caught them off guard.

When they looked up at him, blinking, he just leaned back with crossed arms and glared down at them with disdain. "Monster or freak will suffice, or go ahead for something more creative, human."

Given the impression that he'd likey claw at them, if not worse, the idea if there wouldn't be the force field had Y/N shooketh. Oh, they had no doubt about that if he could, he would. This terrapin made it clear he's one hatefull fella and when someone feels cornered and/maybe injured they can become lethal and hostile, and sain person would rather keep their distance, this is no wild sewer kitten.

Y/N's question currently on their mind: is there a reason behind the spite? Normally, people, monsters and aliens alike have a reason caused by trauma or the way you're raised to be like this.

They did understood what their turtle friends had told them about the 'evil' clones and didn't took it lightly, but that's just one perspective to judge from, Y/N rather likes to have their own point of view on this from a first-hand experience when there's an opportunity. This blue turtle had yet to be scary to look frightening, so far he's rather intimidating and Y/N can't yet tell what exactly makes him tick so they would avoid that and avoid a tantrum — to put it lightheartedly.

With furrowed brows, they shook their head as if saying that what he said was silly and he returned that with his own frown. After Y/N filled the glass with water they put it on the tray next to the sandwich before roaming through the small packages to get his painkillers.

"Why would I do that?" they eventually asked and the turtle returned his gaze on their face, he couldn't respond because he had yet to come up with an answer. "You assumed that because I'm a human?" it may have, in honestly, made them sound a little offended.

Y/N put in some vitamin pills with the painkillers next to the glass of water before meeting his slightly distracted gaze. "Or is it because you were always treated like this and learned to accepted it?"

It was like a punch to the gut for the blue terrapin so he growled gutterly and turned his head to the side, refusing to respond and they didn't force him either.

"Sorry, sorry!" Y/N almost stuttered, they might have went too far. Perhaps it was unsensitive. "I didn't mean for it to sound so rude..... Sorry."

When it was silence that replyed to them, they picked up the tray and looked at the remote to the force field and immediately it dawned on them that they have no slightest clue about how it works. And Donatello might be asleep by now, Y/N would feel so bad and dumb to wake him up for such small inconvinience.

After spending a too much time figuring out which colorful button it is Y/N just pressed the one in the corner but instead of making the tray float and make the force field accept it instead the translucent, electric barriere dropped.

The futuristic technology isn't their strongest suit, they admitted they prefer things simple and almost retro, the only time they're hundred percent on Raphael's side is when he's on a hateful rampage about the tech...

Y/N paled when they first thought that they may have broke it and would have to wake up Donatello after all. But when the 'cage' activated once pressing the same button, weight fell from their chest and they confidently approached the blue turtle after the force field was deactivated once again.

He was a little weirded out by what they were doing the whole time that he couldn't help but stare and thought about calling them dumb.

And here they are. Face to face with no physical wall between them.

It's a little daunting that this creature is still towering over them even when hunched and sitting, and staring down at them. Y/N comes across very tall aliens every day so this is nothing unordinary. But this feels different. Somehow...

Ah, right, it's because they were told to keep their distance! But then again, they didn't actually promise Leonardo they'd do as he said but a part of Y/N still feels guilty, knowing how overprotective he can get.

Quirking their lips for the corners to lightly lift, Y/N presented him the tray proudly. As far as they know, they're an excellent cook and excells at home baking.

"Okay, Lee, you gotta get your pills first." when it was a heated growl that huffed into their face, they grounded their feet the best they can as they forced to lock gazes with him. "You'll feel better. It takes away the pain for some hours, you'll get a proper sleep. Also, no one will be in your personal bubble until you wake up." they went for the coddle tactic, it always works.

The blue terrapin, somewhat persued, took the medicine into his big right palm that has a darker pigment than the rest of his body, before registering their words.

Y/N was lifting the glass of water towards him before noticing he was looking at them with a frown that was far from sharp. "What?"

"Lee?"

With a soft flush in cheeks, they tried to fumble for sane words of an apology. They thought they offended him or something. "It just came out—!"

With a slight furrow of his bare brows and tilted head, he asked: "Why did you call me that?" it was almost chilling how calm and calculated he was now.

"I- uh! No... No reason, really... Just because." they muttered before hurriedly giving him the glass, and he understood the assignment.

After he drowned them down they put the trail on his lap and he began to gobble the bread like a starved man — which, starved, he probably was.

"Jesus, calm down! I'm not gonna steal it from ya." they couldn't help but laugh a little after the face he threw at them with a little rumbly growl, but surprisingly enough he ate slower.

After Y/N took another risk of leaving his side to drain the rest of the water bottle into the glass, they returned to exactly how they left him and he took the water greedily.

"Did you mind that?" Y/N gave him some time of quiet while he ate, but eventually asked right after swallowing the last bit of his third sandwich. "The nickname?"

"... Nickname?" he grunted with a mouthfull and watched with suprise as they sat down at the edge of the bed.

"Well, that's instead of a name..." Y/N hummed back, looking at their dangling feet and thought of how to keep a conversation going.

"I'll come up with other nicknames for you. Wanna hear them?"

The rumbly growl would have been a no but the slight nod that Y/N registered said otherwise. They took a mental note that he's one growl-y creature.

"Lee was one of those... Then I was going for Blue." when he said nothing but ate and grunted, Y/N continued. "There's also Leon... It's short for Leonid. It has a Russian origin, as far as I know." they looked back at him once noticing the way he perked up.

"But that's also a name they gave to a meteor shower, but it's called Leonids, it's around the Leo constellation. It happens around November, I think. And it's really, really pretty from the pictures and videos I have seen. But, sadly, they're also very rare."

"How rare?" the blue turtle wanted to kick himself to be this sincerely invested, and looked away from Y/N with a scoff.

He should be proud of himself to be showing interest that isn't forced, given what he has yet to do, but somehow this human had him hooked with the wonder of nature. Something you can barely spot in NYC, and especially when you live under cover you can't just go outside however you please, even though creatures and aliens are already walking among humans on earth for some years now.

Y/N watched him from his profile silently, smiling, before taking pity on him and stood up as they reached for the empty tray but they didn't register how stiff he became at their closeness. "They appear year but you need to have a good spot like somewhere far away from civilization to see it clearly in total darkness and, who knows, maybe we'll be able to see it this Autumn if we're lucky. I heard of some good spots in Europe where people go to watch the meteors nowdays."

The funny little plural pronoun they used in this sentence did such odd mess in the pit of his stomach, maybe something close to throwing up?

This unfamiliarity began to irk him.

Scoffing, and throwing the full piece of the sandwich, he nearly forgot about, into his mouth he made a lazy gutural growl. "I have no interest for such dumb things, travel especially!" he made himself comfortable on the bed and realized that no part of his broken body was aching. What a bliss.

Y/N looked at him knowingly over their shoulder, but said nothing.

When they walked back to the table to pick up the remote, they weren't feeling burning holes at the back of their skull for once, and it was nice. They turned the force field back on but when facing the blue terrapin they were met by the back of his dark shell. He fell asleep on his stomach, arms folded under his chin and softly snoring. After a good meal and comfy bed, he's out like a light. He looked almost too innocent now with how slightly curled up he is there.

"Like a baby..." Y/N chuckled to themself, turned off the lights and left the Medbay to clean the dirty dishes, they still can't let Serling do all the work around here, that poor, neat freak robot works himself up over the smallest things.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

"Morning, Leon!"

The big blue turtle, who had to look through the gap of his forearms that guarded his face from the sun, threw back a frown of confusion at the human who had joined them on the rooftop balcony. It's extra hot outside today.

"Y/N-san, it's almost past noon, you slept through the whole morning." an old rat softly chided Y/N without looking over at them, instead he continued to take care of his bonsai.

"Oh, yeah, heh! It happens sometimes... Are the plants doing well mr. Splinter?" they asked politely and passed by their injured guest over to the wise mutant rodent, observing the careful snips of scissors on the little tree branches and leaves with curiosity.

Splinter offered a small, quick smile. "Yes, and the garden looks way better than when we first came here. Some of these plants grow surprisingly quickly."

Y/N hummed, agreeing and looked towards the small but greener-than-before garden. "Let me help you." they walked over to the rest of the pots with bonsai trees before the humanoid rat could protest.

With a sigh, Splinter navigated them which pot they should pick up.

"Why do I have to be here?!" the blue terrapin made himself known to them once more, after being quiet all morning he decided to voice his irritation towards the blinding sun. He growled at the rat, quite sharp teeth bared, and used his palm to cast a shadow over his face.

"The air will do you well," Splinter replied with calmness, returning to care for his bonsai. "Not to mention the healing powers of nature."

"It stinks out here! Too bright!" he continued to complain, covering himself with his arms when trying to lay down on the side but the sun rays were everywhere. "Why didn't you let me rot?" he aggressively asked, springing back to sit up and glare at the rodent. "Too weak to stomach it when things get rough?!"

It sounded like he wanted to provoke a reaction, but he tried it on the wrong creature.

"Weak?" Splinter parroted, speaking just as calmly as before, as he made a perfected snip of an unruly branch before setting the gardening scissors down. "It requires no strength at all to destroy but creation, healing, that takes true might." he looked at him over before facing him with the little bonsai in his hands. "Would you prefered that we left you to perish?"

These questions are seriously getting on his nerves, it always hits a weak spot he didn't know he had.

Turning away from Splinter, who went to place the pot where it should be, he was rather met with a sight of Y/N who carried quite a big pot with its bonsai and it looked quite heavy. Although they sweated and had quite reddened cheeks, they showed no struggle as they carried it on the table where Splinter works on his plants one by one.

Y/N straightened their favorite shirt, and cleaned it from some dust and dirt at their chest, before looking up at their hospitalized guest that kept on trying to cover from the sun. With a slight jump in the step, they walked close to him until stopped by the translucent wall of a shield.

"So, how are you enjoying today, so far?" chuckling, they looked at him rolling about like a rowdy child ever-so-innocently, hands interwined behind them.

A growl bellowed from under the cover of muscular, blue arms with a tint of annoyment as he settled laying on his belly. And they couldn't help but take pity on him.

"... You thirsty, Leonid? It is too hot today, the sun may be good for your bones but it's important you drink plenty of water. I'll go grab a glass for ya."

"Hm?" he rumbled back but when he was about to look at them from under one of his arms, they weren't there. With a grunt, he covered the back of his head and nape with his big palm. Although the sun was fine at first on his skin, because he's not used to daylight, it began to burn on his scale-y skin. The big robot Serling was supposed to get him water, but something must have distract the robot nanny when he hadn't came back for quite a while.

But at last he had time to think, plot and schieme. But the name he was called again made his heart beat all funny.

A name that would belong to him, to make him feel a little more whole. A fallen meteor out of many from around a constellation which they were tributed to be named slightly similar after. An irony of what he really is; a clone of the real deal, a fraud that has been predestined to be impure.

Leonid... He does like how it sounds, especially the shorter version of it.

He, Leonid, among many other newfound feelings he still needs to decipher, finally felt like somebody.

* 6:30 pm *

Day had yet to come to an end, be replaced by the night and Y/N didn't mind they had to prepare dinner to their guest along with some meds for the second time. It's probably for the best, Leonid can barely stand the sight of Donatello playing a doctor at him and the longer all four stick in the same room as him that he can't leave there's a risk of a raging tantrum.

Leonid can't stand Raphael and his belittling and offencive remarks, but he feels the same towards Leonardo. At last Michelangelo and Donatello can approach just fine, if Mikey wouldn't talk all the time and Don wouldn't keep muttering his coded science discussion with himself. Y/N would take full care of Leonid would they know what to do when it came to broken bones and fractured spine and shell. But beggers can't be choosers, so he had to let Donatello be in his personal bubble.

Cody was about to get some snacks that his close friend, almost like an older sibling, sneaked in behind Serling's back the day they came over at the start of their vacation — two weeks ago.

Speak of the devil...

Young Cody Jones has yet to master his ninja stealth, when taking out some dorito chips from a lower cabinet Y/N suddenly appeared few feet away by his side, that wasn't hidden by the cabinet door.

Busted, red-haired thief grinned as innocently as possible when he stood up with the bag of chips behind his back. "Y/N! Hey, I thought you're still on the balcony with master Splinter and Leo's clone?"

Y/N looked away from Cody's hidden, folded arms and opened the fridge they stood next to. "Stealing my snacks again, little Jones?" they cooed tauntingly as they pulled a pot with leftover soup out of the fridge and onto the kitchen island.

"And I just came from there, I wanted to get Leon sunscreen but Serling and guys came to take him back to the Medbay. I decided to prepare Leon dinner, at last."

Cody seated himself at the other end of the kitchen desk, opened the doritos and watched them prepare the remaining soup and adding more flavor so it would taste better and not like old shoes. "He has a name?" he asked with curiosity.

Y/N with a ladle scooped every bit of the soup, bits of mushrooms, potatoes and meat included into a smaller pot. They smiled a little bashfully to themself and were glad that Cody was rather paying attention to the chips.

"Oh, yeah. It's Leonid, actually." at last they hoped he took the name, he actually didn't tell them not to call him that and he is one of those that voices something they don't like. If he won't own the name then Y/N will call him that as long as he'll be here, they refuse to call him 'a thing that's cloned from Leonardo' like others do.

"Oh, that's cool!" Cody enthusiastically chimed before stuffing his mouth.

"Did you thank him yet?"

Cody paused mid-chow before swallowing. "No... The guys don't want me to go near him."

Y/N faced Cody with a frown right after putting the pot on the stove to warm up the soup. "I see where guys are coming from— but he took a hit for you and almost died. He may be 'evil', as everyone keeps reminding us both, but that's no excuse to be ungreatful. Everyone deserves gratitude, even some bad guys — Darius doesn't count."

Cody hummed and looked up from staring inside the chips bag for a bit too long, cracking a little smile at the last humorous remark. "Even when he and his brothers attacked us?"

"Cody, just like I taught you, you are not forgiving him. You are thanking him for his willing aid, and sure - you let him in and it would be a good enough 'thank you', but there's no wrong in being humble and thank the fella directly."

As they looked at one another, holding their gazes, Y/N knew that they managed to get at last the thought that counts into his thick skull. Cody nodded, taking it to account and received a wide smile from Y/N and they walked up to him to pat the top of his crown.

"Remember, when you feel what you should do is right then don't be afraid to do it even if everyone would disagree."

Cody chuckled and leaned into the caressing. "I would like to be free-spirited just like you... But I feel like if there won't be someone to guide me, I would do something wrong."

Y/N's heart crumbled for the kid, their family. "You have to make mistakes to learn from them, how else can you progress further in life? You can't be afraid of making them, you'd just be stuck on the spot, and not always will be someone there to pick you up." sighing, they took Cody into their arms and he welcomed the embrace quickly.

"And there is no problem that my amazing, lil' Jones can't solve on his own." they cooed gently into his red locks and Cody smiled against their shoulder.

"Thanks...." he muttered before Y/N had to return to the pot and hummed a reply back at him, Cody left with his snack all the while thinking things through. His turtle friends - family - want the best for him and protect him, but Cody needs to become independent because, as Y/N said, they won't be here forever.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

* FOUR DAYS LATER, 12:03 pm *

It was quite late to be wandering about the Penthouse when everyone is asleep but Cody could hardly get a wink of peaceful slumber when he was bothered by his conscience, if he wouldn't do something about it he would end up without sleep that day.

But he took everything into consideration, to still be skeptical, while trying to the truth behind the heroic action Leonid pulled. He thought this all through for some time.

Raphael is the most cynical and Cody really wanted to dig more, not that he doesn't believe his family, and make his own opinion about their guest. Despite being told and coaxed into letting 'this thing' to be handled by his four terrapin friends.

He can't forever be told what to do! Doing this investigating made him feel a little more mature.

Y/N always taught him to be open minded and not to make hasty prejudices until knowing the whole context of a book — figuratively speaking.

The Medbay was almost empty, their injured guest seems to be fast asleep but from all that hrunting and squirming as he payed on his still healing shell Cody knew he's quite wide awake.

He knew that he shouldn't feel fear to go closer to Leon when the barrier is there to keep him in and the outside out, but he still had to muster up all courage he has to actually approach and talk.

Cody swallowed dryly and took a deep breath before he began to walk over to the force field to ask what has been bugging ever since the incident and only one creature in this Penthouse know the answer. "Why did you save me, I mean, you could have just not, you know?"

Leon, although awake, prerended he's unconscious. It was clear by the pointed silence that he intended to ignore the kid, pretend he isn't there, but he also knew the stalled chat was long overdue and he has to make some progress after being kept here for so long.

"Okay, forget it." Cody was ready to turn on his heel and return to his bedroom with defeat, and his head hung low.

"My fight isn't with you, it's with the four shellheads, then you went an' got in the way." Leon quickly blurted out before the boy could have left, but he refused to look at him as he grumbled and his hand flapped exaggeratedly high up while talking. And he didn't need to see to know that Cody didn't move an inch, neither left at all, but Leon could tell he was holding his breath to listen, and by smell he knew the kid was somewhat anxious.

Perhaps whatever Leon answers will be the key of the final decision, and if he were to answer right he could get closer to what he came for. Better play his cards right.

With a tired sigh, Leon opened his eye to stare down at his lap as his limb went limp by his side again. To be honest - which he hardly is - these questions about him are starting to be exhausting because he doesn't know the answer to them, but questioning his actions, that is easier to answer. Kind of like an answer he expected from day one and he studied the right answer. But every day it's something new, unexpected, new questions about whatever.

It just edges him more.

Being here actually made a mess of his brain, although he was prepared for whatever they got and was aware he can't crack under pressure, somehow they always poked under his shell even without intention.

"Look, I don't know, it just didn't seem right... Why I got asked so many questions!" Leon almost growled too loudly as he felt the need to be defensive and hide how confused he is himself and turned his shell at the boy to have the final say, which he achieved.

Cody, puzzled, went back to his room with a little more clearer mind and an idea.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Morning couldn't come sooner, everyone except Splinter and Serling - like any other morning - gathered in the big, open living room to discuss today's agenda that also regards their absent blue terrapin guest.

"It's been weeks!" Raphael began, jumping in on the chance of free space to discuss a matter important to him after all the ordeal of training schedule and whatnot. "We better start charging Mr. Happy rent if we're runnin' a hotel here."

Not one day passed that Raphael didn't bring this up, but it seemed that today he was extra pushy.

Donatello unintentionally mimicked Raphael's crossed arms while being next to him, and he sighed softly before adding: "His bandages come off tomorrow- a few tests and then he's outta here."

"Have you guys noticed...?" before Raphael could nudge further the matter of getting rid of Leo's clone, Cody stepped in a little closer after a brief glance at Y/N that sat between Michelangelo and Leonardo on the cough as if to gather some courage spiritually. "It's like... He seems to be struggling with something."

He looked at them all, arms open to get a sign if he may speak from his mind further and Leonardo did just that and lifted his chin towards his red-haired friend, even though Raphael wasn't happy with the way Cody started but said nothing.

"What are you getting at, Cody?" Leonardo asked eventually and leaned his elbows further into his lap, showing he's all ears.

"Well he did save my life," Cody, rubbing his head, began to feel a little shy considering what he's about to say may sound naive, but he finally gets a say in this matter. "I'm just wondering if we could help him not be so bad... in theory." he humbly smiled and lowered his head, keeping his gaze locked with the leader in blue.

And Donatello wasn't really opposed to the idea, on the contrary, he's glad someone brought it up. "Technically, Dark Leo does share significant genetic traits with our Leo. And the nature versus nurture debate raises some interesting possibilities."

Cody smiled at Donatello, as if thanking him for a slight support before looking at the others again beamingly. "Yeah! What if we stopped treating him like a monster and more like a regular guy, just like Y/N?"

Raphael looked startled and looked at every person in the room, back and forth before facing Leonardo completely and crouched down to seize his pointed gaze at the floor. "Okay.. When did this bus take a left into Crazy Town!? Leo, c'mon, you're not buyin' this are ya?!"

But by the silent and distant look from Leonardo, everyone knew his mind had already decided through Raphael's protests. Hook, line, and sinker...

Y/N smiled up at Cody and he mirrored it like a silent communication between the two, they couldn't be more proud of him.

That very same morning Leonid was brought to the dining room to have breakfast with them, but he had to promise he'd cause no trouble... which he did agreed to instead of behaving - by having table manners, which soon everyone dumbly realized that he has none. At last Y/N could say they aren't so put-off by it, but they were also the only one trying to teach some manners like one would to a toddler, like any patient parent and the guys enjoyed to watch that while Cody could almost say: "I been there and had my share of it, I know the routine, enjoy it buddy", with all the fond childhood memories.

Suprisingly, today Y/N also swapped seats with Michelangelo from the usual spot of being between him and Raphael to be at the edge and conveniently right next to Leonid. If Raphael noticed this and was rather unpleased then he kept it to himself. He and Y/N weren't the best of friends, he was usually scolded by them like some brat but he really didn't dislike them either. It was a bit complicated to put into words. But usually when they all dined together Raphael found their presence next to him... comforting(?).

Leonid wolfed down his food, almost taking a bite of the plate as well as it was held to his face. Cutlery be damned. Everyone knows pancakes are good but his enthusiasm by eating them made the pancakes look double delicious, maybe the messy eating of his can put people out of mood for food which is understandable.

Serling walks over to the table, setting down another portion of pancakes and fresh, hot biscuits along with a whipped cream tube and cocoa for Y/N.

Leonardo barely could get one slice of a warm pancake before it was snatched fight in front of him, no pancake was left, and the turtle in blue could only watch Leonid by his left side as he put the whole stack into his mouth.

The blue terrapin chewed just few, hasty times before swallowing and moving forward to the maple syrup that Michelangelo was just using, the movement almost costed Y/N nose because they are sitting between the two. Leonid squeezed the 'life' out of the bottle and used up every drop of the syrup before tossing the used bottle over the table where it bounced at lead two times, nearly bumped into Cody and everyone watched it fly. The other full plate of food was next, Raphael barely touched the crusty bread when all of it was snatched from the plate.

"An' t'ere go the biscuits..." the terrapin in red mask emphasized with repressed growl, staring right at their 'guest'.

"Have one of mine," Michelangelo exhaled into his palm, passing his one biscuit onto his brother's plate. "all of a sudden food doesn't have it's usual appeal..."

Leonid couldn't not hear that last part even through all his munching, shocked and even felt close to be offended by such words. How can one say that about food?! Something he and his brothers can't afford. It's so bad that they sometimes have to go great, morbid lengths to get something into their mouths and they're just glad that digesting raw meat causes no trouble.

"Where I live, you fight for food, eat what you can, when you can—" he suddenly towered over the youngest of the four green terrapins and his olive-coloured plastron made contact with Y/N's brow before they could lean back, it didn't hurt but it startled them. "Or you starve!" he exclaimed and then threw the last little bread into his mouth as he glared at poor Michelangelo like he was a kid that didn't know any better because he has a different, better life. The terrapin in orange mask leaned back in his seat as far as he could but also was too scared to move a muscle.

Being one of those few that always came to the youngest's aid, Y/N didn't sat by doing nothing this day either. Also it would calm the other three brothers and the rat father from feeling like Michelangelo is being threatened.

Minding the bandages, their spread palm placed gently on Leonid's upper chest, close where the edge of his plastron is (it would have been inappropriate to push a man's boobs, covered or not, they are not close friends - same goes to touching one's stomach if it can be avoided). Y/N was only afraid to push, not to cause him any pain and they were glad to hear his muffled gasp was far from pained. Leonid would have obliged by sitting back down but staring Michelangelo down felt like primal challenge of intimidation that has always been in him since his creation, not really a genetic perk from being made by Sh'Okanabo.

"Riiiiight..." Michelangelo weakly chuckled when holding Leonid's gaze without knowing the intention behind it or what is he trying to prove as he grasped the courage he has regained when his savior interfered between them, and slightly swapping the crumbs from his plastron.

"Well, here, looking out for one another is pretty much what we do." he grinned toothily, it was far from mocking or belittling, he was just proud to share the way his family is and the positivity thrown in Leonid's face made him befuddled and he backed off. "You know the golden rule- karma."

Although he was thinking things through, Leonid subconsciously noticed the warmth that left his chest and he didn't have time to be weirded out by it now. Blinking, his scoff was almost as if dismissing whatever Michelangelo said was nonesence so he decided to voice that opinion: "You're the dumb one, right. 'Cuz that's the stupidest thing I ever heard." he snatched another plate of food and didn't think one would reply as he began to wolf down the eggs and beacon.

Leonardo was the one who proved him otherwise, not letting the conversation to end there, pointing at him first to grasp his attention in the middle of eating. "And yet you're here in a posh New York penthouse enjoying a hot breakfast, because of something you did—" he gave Leonid another reality check to think about, something new that Leonardo noticed his clone doesn't like. He smiled knowingly, and leaned back with crossed arm behind his head as he played more on the strings of emotions. "Saving Cody. Still sounds stupid?"

The boy lifted his head from his plate where he was cutting his food just a second ago, he looked directly at the blue terrapin with a genuine smile.

He is being thanked? By his enemies? By the nice kid whose sadistic uncle is now an owner of his and his brothers?

Leonid was cornered now by his own emotions that had instantly bloomed when Cody's kind eyes of emerald color landed on him. The food in his mouth began to taste bile, but not necesarrily because of the food itself, it even smells poison-free and he has an excelent nose at scents.

This gratefulness doesn't seem right. He shouldn't be thanked and feel this way. Everything was going according to plan, the only thing that's rauining it is him and his inner turmoil.

Is this... Is this guilt?

For a moment he wondered what he should do. What is expected from him to do.

Frankly, nothing should be expected from him, he had already done enough to save a life. Everything is fine, Leonid is aware of the situation he put himself into, but perhaps his will wasn't strong enough to jump into lion's den.

When the four brothers that are binded to him with DNA shown barely any compassion, it were these two humans that shown kindness and patience with the likes of him. It actually made Leonid believe he deserves any of this.

A hope he would be freed...

But subconsciously remembering his three brothers and the last bitter imagine of Darius Dun coiled at his heart like a barbed wire.

Finally grasping a grip over the cruel reality check after staring at the fried egg long enough, Leonid spat out the unchewed beacon back at the plate before sliding all of it over to Leonardo's plate.

"How's this?" Leonid ever-so-innocently grinned, it's not like he tried to put effort into practicing what Michelangelo tried to enlighten him about. But at last he'd get a kick of seeing his clone grossed out.

"... Thanks." although shocked and disgusted, Leonardo didn't have it in him to be anything but polite.

While everyone looked away from repulsion, Michelangelo silently made fun of his oldest brother and Leonid relieved his stomach by the loudest belch that echoed in the room after he was finished. Y/N was glad they had enough pancakes to eat before the blue terrapin was invading everyone's plates.

Leonid had made a mess all over the table and all over his mouth as well, taking out a paper napkin from the pocket, Y/N stood up to reach the big turtle and wipe his face. Y/N considered having a ladder at hand for once if they'd ever need to reach this mountain of a male again, but their laziness didn't agree with that thought - would have been easier if he laid down, no? Hah! As if this big, blue terrapin would allow himself to be this mellow for them.

Y/N, while in their own little head space, didn't even bother to took into consideration Leonid could attack them for being in his personal space, truth be told they forgot he's dangerous because these few days they felt that he was anything but threatening. He was acting 'savage' at times yet he wasn't hurting anybody, and he had opportunities to do so, something this minor was overlooked by the four brothers because they might have felt secure that the blue turtle is intimidated enough not to try anything. They also immensely ignored any disagreements the four brothers had been having against the way they didn't keep safe distance, even if there always was the translucent shield between them.

Leonid was quick to school his body into stillness, over his stay and interaction with Y/N he noticed they became more bold with subtle touches such as this. The first time was when they checked if he has fever and they were very careful about it, also asking him first before touching his forehead. This whole thing was so odd but... not unwelcome. The gestures always made him feel that damn tickling in his stomach that he soon didn't mind much. Leonid actually looked forward to being touched now, and he was content when it was something quick and sweet, nothing too lingering that would be troublesome to his sensations.

Raphael scoffed at the baby-ing that's happening right now in front of them all, he earned a soft kick from Donatello to his shin because he was mumbling things under his breath without realizing.

The plates and cups were cleaned first by Serling along with wiping the crumbs and drops on the table away, Y/N battled with the sticky syrup on Leonids cheeks and nose in the mean time while giggling at the dismorphed faces they made his face pull and although annoyed he let them enjoy it all the while grunting with low growls. Only this once he'll allow it.

When Y/N finished wiping Leonid's face, both finally but also sadly for him, Serling took him back to the Medbay where he would rest before getting checked up on again. Everyone watched from in front of the open dining room as Leonid was being escorted with handcuffs that were for safety measures. Y/N at the meeting in the morning demanded he wouldn't have them during breakfast but couldn't talk them out of it when he was being taken back even though he was inside the force field.

Leonardo, from in front of the group, faced his brothers when his clone was out of sight. "Well?"

"Too early to say." Donatello was quick to reply.

"He's a lot less... scary than I thought he'd be." Michelangelo shared his oppinion, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Guys!" Raphael barked, irritated as he stepped forward from the back. "Reality check— he's evil. Give this guy an inch, he'll take a spleen! I ain’t buyin' it!!" he yelled loud enough, making sure it echoes and is well heard to the big terrapin.

"Well, he maybe wouldn't be evil if folks would treat him like he's no different!" Y/N raised their voice enough to startle the turtle in the red mask. Huffing, and shaking their head with disappointment souring their face, Y/N turned on their heel to walk off. "We, unlike you, are just being grateful, Raph, it's not like we're giving him the penthouse."

"Oh, really?! With th'a way yer motherin' him I'd beg to differ!" for Raphael's chastising Y/N would be quick to be twice as mean but decided it's not worth it with this knuckle-head.

"Whoa, dude, chill." Michelangelo rested his three-fingered-hand on his agitated brother's shoulder. "It's not like we weren't the victims of this treatment from momma Y/N either. That's just how they are—"

"Yeah, well that thing doesn't deserve it! We let him live, that's good enough of a payback after everything he and those other freaks put us through!" tearing his shoulder from his brother's touch as if burned, he left as well, having the last word.

* LATER *

When lunch time was over that day, Cody wraped up his training fast and with Michelangelo they went to collect Y/N from the rooftop garden for the purpose to lift their spirits after this morning. They proposed a card game, the rummy, under the condition that the turtle in orange can use a calculator for the adding of numbers. But Y/N had another idea that took a little persuation on Michelangelo from both them and Cody.

"If you want to use the calculator for the game, then he can play." is what they said.

Pure, mean chantage. But Michelangelo really wanted an upper hand with the calculator if he is to play against the gambling fanatic Y/N — and Cody must have been infected from them too, because the two are eager to win and Cody isn't usually contestant. Michelangelo just tagged along because he can't stand boredom.

They went to get Leonid into their little group, behind the other terrapin brother's backs and with Serling's help to transport him to the lower floors where is a room mix of a library and gaming place, not big amd open but not small either. It used to be Cody's bedroom.

Leonid wasn't told what they're going to do other than saying they're going to the fun room and didn't want him to be all alone, as Cody said. But Michelangelo joked that he'd like to have someone close to his kin by his side when he's about to play with the beasts. But Leonid wasn't about to be forced to play with them or anything, if he wished he could just take a nap on the sofa in there, they promised him snacks and will give him different drinks Leonid hadn't tried yet. The last bit was what had him perked, he can't say no to food!

"Games?" Leonid rumbled as he sat down on the sofa with a window behind it, the only source that allowed natural light in the room. He didn't question the fact they let him out of the force field and the sarcastic robot left, but he was cuffed.

Michelangelo moved a coffee table closer to the sofa and sat cross-legged at a pillow on the rug floor, opposite Leonid. "We agreed on a card game for now, who knows, maybe we'll try other games."

"If you'd like to join the game then we'd be more than happy if you did." Cody chirped with excitement and bravely sat down next to the blue turtle.

Y/N grinned while shuffling the cards and sat on a pillow on the ground as well, on the other side of Leonid, maybe a bit too close by his feet. "You can watch or rest, Serling will bring the snacks soon."

"I'll just... watch." Leonid grunted and paid attention to the complicated shuffling of a card deck, when from the split pile of cards Michelangelo searched for a joker card but got none, Y/N began to give them each twelve cards.

Cody cringed as he was putting his cards together in hand. "No luck for me today, I guess..."

"Don't lose hope, junior. There are good cards in the pack, you just gotta get to them." Y/N hummed, although looking very pleased with their cards.

Michelangelo wasn't shy to share the information of his fortunate cards he's about to play with. "I can't relate, guys, my card deck is looking pretty good I might just close the game in your face right now."

"Which is why we're not gonna let you win." Y/N scoffed at the young turtle but it wasn't heated but playful, something Leonid had realized after Michelangelo replyed with his own playfulness.

"Hah! Bold of you guys to assume I'd let any of you win!" Cody grinned at them and leaned back to be sure none of these would peak at his cards, Michelangelo likes to cheat when it comes to these games.

"You saying that with that God-awful card deck? I'll make you eat those words up, chump." giggling impishly, Y/N watched what kind of cards the two are throwing out and Cody's would have been enough for them to get rid of some cards. "Ah, what's the count?"

"Forty-two, like always?" Cody hummed.

"Nope, let's go fifty-one this time!" Michelangelo grinned from behind his deck.

"That confident, Mikey?" the boy snorted softly.

"Awe, just let him. That way his fall will be greatly amusing." Y/N smirked getting rid of a Queen card, a high card, and Michelangelo's snarky surface cracked a little.

Leonid was greatly confused because these three were just threatening and insulting each other but differently. Very different from how he and his brothers attack each other, verbally and physically. The threatening didn't feel threatening. But why? Everyone wants to be the winner, then why not go great lengths to win? For the life of him, he can't understand them sometimes.

After five minutes, when Serling gave them the - mostly healthy - snacks and drinks, and left them be for the rest of the day only because he has chores to finish, the game went on and they all had yet to reach the right number to start getting rid of the cards. Leonid had caught up with most of how the game goes but has yet to understand the goal.

Comfortably laying on his side while munching on some chips with paprika taste, he observed as Michelangelo did a double take on the calculator, counting, but with frustration he gave up one card.

As soon as Y/N took a card from the deck, their eyes looked almost like shining stars as they meaned at their cards, Cody immediately registered the slight shift of change on their face and groaned longly: "Noooo..."

"Huh?! Huh?!! No! Don't you dare!" Michelangelo belowed and leaned to Y/N, thinking the 'intimidation' would stop them.

With a wide, toothy grin, Y/N began laying some pairs of cards. High cards and one pair with a joker, the smaller pair was of small numbers but they reached a little over fifty-one in count. And two cards were left in their hand.

"A-HA!! We're finally getting somewhere!" Y/N cheered and reordered the remaining cards in hand before getting rid of one. They basked in the small, sadistic victory of getting their opponents withered for being the first one to lay down some good sets of cards.

"Man, I guess I won't get a win this week." Cody sighed at his cards after pulling a card from the deck and dispossed of it just as quickly, but still tried to smile not to damper his friends' spirits.

"Give it time..." Y/N reached over Leon's face, almost bumping his muzzle, to pat Cody's knee to keep the boy enthusiastic.

Michelangelo, after picking the card from the dispossed deck and double checking on the calculator, began to lay down some sets of his own but still had five cards left after. "Yeah, take as much time you need, so I can win!" he used his 'evil' laugh while wiggling on his spot with excitement, fist pumping in the air.

Y/N retreated their hand, but not fully until stealing some chips from Leonid's bowl. The blue terrapin was ready to growl, to guard his food, but Y/N forced the chip against his gritted, slightly sharper teeth. Leonid, startled, relaxed his lips around the treat before accepting it into his mouth. His growl was just a rumbly hum and watched Y/N take another chip for themself, he hadn't the time to react defensively and let it slide. Cody took the chance of their guest paying attention to Y/N to steal some chips for himself too, and grabbed a handfull.

"Do you like the chips... Leon?" Cody asked before stuffing his mouth. He tried not to be too obvious with how he's getting the hang of the new way the blue terrapin is called. The boy feels ashamed that it's a bit of a struggle, being used to call him either a clone or a thing had became a terrible habbit he hopes to get rid of.

Leonid chewed slowly, trying to map and memorize the taste and texture that he now knows he isn't so fond of, before he swallowed so he could answer. "I don't mind it..."

"Dude!" Michelangelo gasped, looking up from his cards as he nearly let go of them. "The chips are, like, one of the best snacks in the world! How can you not like it?"

"It's too dry." the blue turtle shrugged and briefly wondered why the orange-masked turtle made a big deal out of it. "But has good crunch."

"You don't have to eat it if you don't like it." Y/N chuckled softly and looked up at Leonid, just now realizing how close his head is to them, the poor terrapin barely fit on the sofa and almost his whole upper body hanged over the mattress' edge, with one elbow on the floor helped him with balance.

Refuse food? Not eat when you have the chance? Not take a bite of an edible thing when having it at grasp felt like irreverence against food. Even if the edable thing would taste horrendously neither he or his brothers couldn't afford not to eat when finally getting their hands on something. And what if it's the only food he will have today? They all simply could let him starve till tomorrow and then hand him over to the Beast Keepers. It could be the his last meal. Leonid doesn't trust them enough to be certain they wouldn't let him starve, but maybe the humans wouldn't allow it...

"Serling also brought tangerines, it's a sweet fruit, try that." handing Leonid a plate of the little orange, half-moon fruit slices and handing the bowl to Michelangelo, Y/N waited for their guest to take a slice to know if it is to his liking.

Leonid sniffed the fruit slice before putting it into his mouth, as soon as his fangs popped it a sweet juice rushed all over his mouth and the tangerine wasn't that hard to chow or swallow. After the sugary breakfast he's now certain that it's sweets he's more fond of and chewy things are second favorite.

He grunted and took more tangerine slices and Y/N pleased by their fulfillment of having their guest pleased finally continued the rummy.

When Cody was hanging on a slimmer of hope was when the luck finally came to him. He got a joker and was able to finally let out some sets from his hand and reach the right count even with those 'garbage' sets. Now he's the only one with one card in hand and it gave him a higher chance at winning. The boy was exhilarated by the turn of events.

Michelangelo added a king into Cody's set but that's as far as he could go, after getting rid of a card he looked at Y/N as if expecting them to end and win the game.

It was the opposite, actually. After a lot of thinking when drawing a new card and looking over the sets of others laid on the table, Y/N kept the card and got rid of a different one. Still having two cards at hand.

The boys eyed them with suspicion when all they did was twitch a corner of their mouth into a tiny smirk, but they didn't know Y/N faked that smugness.

Leonid became intruiged by the way they're against each other during the game, the switch of theirs to disconnected from preoccupying when something outside the game has to be addressed had left him impressed. Their attitudes change from win-obsessed to normal individuals without much difficulty, with Michelangelo it's a bit questionable but he was somewhat 'tame' when they had a small pause because of the chips.

Cody took a card from the deck, by sheer luck, and got an ace of diamonds that one of Y/N's sets needed. He wasted no time adding the card with suffocated excitement and the card at hand was slapped picture-down on the disposable deck.

"YES!! I WON!!" Cody cheered, jumping up to his feet to zoom around the room while Michelangelo drowned in his lost but Y/N applaused for the boy's win.

"Ugh, let's play Racing and Betting instead, yea?" pouting, the turtle in the orange mask stood up and went to look for the board game somewhere on the shelfs next to the door, Cody went to help him with the search.

The two cards that Y/N held before adding them on the card piles to start cleaning up didn't escape Leonid's sharp eyes, he leaned closer to them before interrogating: "You gave up your win. Why?"

Y/N was a bit startled of the whispery, growl right next to their ear as they were putting the whole card deck away into its box. They blinked at him owlishly, not prepared for their guest's interest. Also, they didn't took into consideration that he might not know of these small, silly sacrifices one does for the other.

"It made Cody happy, didn't it?" they asked as if pointing out the most obvious thing, their brow arched up.

Leonid tilted his head with a sigh that blew hot breath into their face, not understanding where they're going with that. "But you aren't, 'cause you lost."

Oh... Oh, now they understand. Y/N smiled slightly. "Joy is not permanent when you do something for yourself, but for others."

"That's....." licking his lips, his gaze casted down as he tried to remember the right word to use.

"Stupid?"

"Hrmm... Weird. Yer weird."

Leonid met Y/N's gaze again when their lashes fluttered almost as if suprised. Then Y/N huffed a chuckle.

"I hear that often..." they grin toothily, around their eyes was a little wrinkle from the squinting.

Leonid thought it's a bit odd that they're amused instead of being offended and his stomach did a weird flip feeling, but it's actually nice not to deal with a miffy human.

Michelangelo slammed onto the clear table a green box with a cover of horse racers for the dramatic effect of disturbing those two, he was satisfied by seeing those two startled, before finally letting Cody to prepare the game. This play was a little longer and time-killing, Leonid ended up either napping or watching while snacking before they ended it with the last horse bought and with no hurry they all ate the dinner there. Leonid was taken to his 'bed' right after that.

Some might say that in the blue terrapin's position they wouldn't be bored and he might not argue but there were some moments that were.... nice. It was also peaceful. Falling asleep that night was without pain, no meds required, and he was content even with what will come tomorrow noon.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

At eight a.m. Leonid was woken up by Donatello, the purple-masked terrapin, for an early check-up and getting rid of his bandages for good after nearly a month. Leonid was still too sleepy to put up any trouble for the small turtle who was more than happy by that coincidence, they were done before Leonid could rub off the little bit of sleep left in his eye.

A light breakfast was served per Donatello's orders, Y/N put together a toast, fried eggs and a glass full of lemonade. It is light enough for the big test, right?

Michelangelo joined them with his bread and jam he stole from the kitchen while Serling was preparing the usual Tuesday breakfast for everyone. Leaning onto Y/N's side, folded, green arm at their shoulder he watched midst finishing his breakfast how his older brother played a doctor at their guest while he himself tried to eat without interruptions. Donatello only wanted to prepare Leonid for the upcoming challenge which would determine if his health got better or worse, also as any doctor would, the turtle in purple gave him further warnings of how and about what he should be careful in the future since Leonid barely made it out alive a month back.

Leonid's answers were a series of grunts, huffs, and almost unnoticable growls but Donatello became hardly bothered when such a thing was replaying every time, since day one. He accepted that this is perhaps how Leo's clone is telling him that he doesn't want him near, Donatello's presence could make him uncomfortable and the small terrapin didn't wish to push his luck of walking off bruise-less. What he did notice is that the clone was more cooperative and less aggressive when Y/N was near, which is why despite others' disagreements he kept Y/N near whenever he was caring for their guest.

"Dude, aren't you excided? You're gonna be able to kick our shells again!" Michelangelo grinned widely, mouth full and nothing but crumbs on his cheeks was left.

"Don't tempt him." Y/N tsked softly, head shaking and Donatello at his table in the corner did the same with a sigh.

Snorting uncharmingly, the terrapin in orange walked up to the small table next to the medical bed and with a graceful jump he sat atop of it. "I'm just sharing his thoughts outloud, he's very shy~"

Leonid spared him a side-eye, chowing on his egg that he put on the last toast.

"Keep it up, and you may end up on top of the hit list, Mikey." Donatello retorted his chirp from his spot. Like any other morning, he worked on his stuff with his morning coffee. Michelangelo gasped, his hand flew up to hold his heart for his brother's cruel words crushed it.

A little smile betrayed the frown Y/N tried to keep on their lips, the back of their hand hid their mouth and let out a soft giggle.

"Okay, you diva, clean up Lee's plate, it might just save your life. If only for a few minutes." Y/N smirked playfully and walked over to sit by Leonid's feet, their legs swaying back and forth over the edge. Enjoying the moment without that annoying force field that was always between them.

After more of Michelangelo's dramatic antics, he did took the plate and the empty glass and walked off to clean it in the kitchen. Donatello was deep in concentration of his work, whatever it is he's working on.

"So..." Y/N began, open palms squished in between their thighs. They waited for Leonid to get comfortable, laying on his side and facing them with a folded hand under a pillow he laid his head on. "Are you? Excited, I mean."

Leonid was silent for a minute, thinking and his gaze travelled all around their face. He grunted with a shrug of his shoulder. "I'd be an idiot to think they would let me go with a wave an' a smile... They're gonna throw me to Peacekeepers. Can't let a freak roam free out there." his answer was bitter, he looked away to get away from their saddened expression.

"I'm sure they will do the right thing. You have a family to go to." Y/N tried to coax him into a positive space.

"Family? Why would that be the reason?" Leonid looked back at them with a frown.

"Your brothers— family is important in your life, they are the number one on the list of responsibilities." they answered just as quickly. "They need you, I'm sure you need them just as much. It has been a month, I take you haven't been apart for this long? They must be worried."

Leonid bit down with his fang on his blue lip before his gaze distanced. "They don't need me." he sharply hissed.

This was quite a weak spot they decided to poke.

Y/N didn't take that for an answer. "You can't know that for sure."

"Neither do you!" Leonid growled back at them immediately, nearly sitting up. Seeing he had them startled and (surely) afraid he settled down again, refusing to speak another word and Y/N understood he closed himself off again and they felt bad for being the cause of that when they were doing so well with opening up.

Y/N opened and closed their mouth for a few times, thinking of ways how to apologize with the presence of Donatello's awareness weighting them.

"It was wrong of me to assume." they finally said with their gaze casted down. "I just remembered something similar to your case... The last time my mom was at a hospital for a long damn time, it was very serious, I was freaking out. I was studying abroad and couldn't just up and go. When I got to the hospital I was nearly walking through walls to find her... Scared some poor half to death souls too because I was fuming." they let out a weak chuckle at the recalled memory. "I may have selfishly projected my own experience onto you. I'm sorry."

When Y/N looked back at Leonid to find him giving them full attention. "... Why were you angry?" he finally asked, the silence persuade him to want to know more.

Y/N looked ahead them, staring at the wall as they thought of a right answer as their tights squeezed at their folded hands. "I was angry, sad, worried... Everyone does that when they feel helpless, that they can't help those we love even with the slightest bit of pain they're in because you want to protect them the more you care about them. And I, like so many others, took my frustration on those who were around me.. doesn't justify what I'd done and said to those people, though, it wasn't their fault."

Leonid stared at them with the slightest frown of both ambivalence but also a bit of understandment. He got what Y/N tried to explain through their story, yet he can't recall if he ever felt such anger.

Sure, he is angry almost all the time, and he witnessed his brothers getting beat many of times by many foes, but did he even once felt such anger? Perhaps, when Darius Dun was taking his anger out on them, that dark and twisted feeling inside of him might have been just that kind of rage...

A warm, small hand landed on his, barely covering all three of his knuckles. It grounded him.

Y/N scooted closer to his upper body to reach his arm and hold it. The gesture of comfort was still an oddity to him. "Leonid..."

He met their eyes and bravely held his ground not to look away, not when their tone was laced with shyness. But why the diffidence? Did they want to ask something?

"Did you..." enjoyed your stay here? And my company? I think you look happier, are you?

No, no, Y/N couldn't bring themself to ask that. Although the curiosity is eating at them and tomorrow morning Leonid will surely be released from this bed and this Penthouse, and they will never see each other again, they also feared the answer. It's a simple question of a host but her words didn't want to articulate. How embarrassing!

"D-did you enjoy your breakfast? I made it, but I still don't know your tastes so— was it okay?"

If Leonid detected that there was more than that, he chose not to point it out.

He thought it over, again aware of the taste left in his mouth. It really was delicious but maybe it would have been his yellow little brother that would absolutely love it.

"Yeah." he eventually nodded idly. "Was just fine to me. It's food, that's good enough."

Y/N exhaled a dry chuckle at that, smiling. "I asked about your preffered taste in food. So I can do your last breakfast the way you'd like."

For some reason, he did not want to hear that, something in his stomach flipped. Leonid can't wait to get his time in custody over with, but...

Enormous, blue hand gripped gently back at the small fingers in his palm almost instinctively. "... Sweeter food. I think I like that kind." his answer was reluctant with a huff.

It was enough for Y/N and they smiled beamingly, one of those smiles that had his ribcage tighten and made it harder to breathe.

It was noon when Leonardo showed up, no words were needed to let them know why he's there. Donatello, expecting him anytime soon, already put the force field up and Y/N had to sat on a chair next to it to keep talking with Leonid. Y/N stood beside the two green, terrapin brothers while Donatello programmed the field to be mobile around their guest's movements to a certain extend. Leonid stretched his muscular arms above his head, joints popped, and he was ready to go.

All four of them walked through the hallways and took an elevator to one of the lowest floors. The Holo dojo. A turtle shell-like room built for the turtles to have their battle practice in, it provides a realistic battle simulation. This is where they held their health test for the clone and everyone else waited for them there already.

The metal machine looked like it belong to a gym, it was one of those where you sat and push at the bar above to workout your back muscles and arms, but in this case Leonid will be pushing it up above his head as far as he can.

"All right, here we are." Donatello annanounced as soon as the big metal doors hissed open, allowing them to enter, they stopped not that far from the machine. "Last stop before a clean bill of health. Your wounds are almost completely healed, I just want to test a few vitals and then—"

"Out of your cage and in to the Peacekeepers'." Leonid cut in almost a little too aggressively, he glared daggers at the two small turtles in front of him.

It left Donatello a little speachless, unsure how to answer even though he was there when his brother's clone and Y/N held a discussion about it not that long ago.

"Um... Let's just get through the test." Leonardo didn't want any awkward silence to stall them, and clearly avoided answering what is quite a very important to-be-fate of their guest. He and Donatello lead Leonid a little closer to the machine and Y/N joined Cody by their right side and far from Raphael who was leaning against the wall, they still hadn't talked since that one breakfast fiasco.

Although the slightest of Y/N's departure had left Leonid at unease he didn't let it show, and it's not like they were leaving, Y/N promised to stay until the very end of this test.

Donatello stood beside the machine, a remote in hand. "Push on the bar as hard as you can, but if anything really hurts just stop."

"Yeah, then we'll draw yous a nice bubble bath and get you a massage." Raphael drew out with dry sarcasm, his hand made a squeezing gesture like that of a shoulder massage.

Although Leonid shouldn't expect anything different from the turtle in the red mask, his prodding was not what he thought he'd do. He reciprocated Raphael's mocking with a scowl over his wide shoulder.

Y/N spared the terrapin in red a frown, Cody was just unsure how to react but he too thought it was a little odd. What irked Y/N the most that even the brothers or master Splinter, although confused, hadn't said a word back. Something like "shut up, Raph" would just be enough and it's not that hard to say. But Y/N knew that if they were the one to say that then the two would end up arguing, and then would be asked to leave which is something they can't allow to happen.

"Okay, so," Donatello cleared his throat and got Leonid's attention again. "You'll sit here but I have to drop the force field, can I do that?" he asked, and deep down he knew for certain that Leo's clone wouldn't try anything.

Leonid nodded without hesitation with a soft humph, as odd as it may be an attack is not on his mind right now and if his brothers were there they might think of him as a fool.

Leonardo was already ready and on alert, hand gripping at the hilt of one of his swords at his shell.

The force field went offline and it was clear in the air that only very few were worried now that he was free and in full health.

For a second he lifted his giant arms to look at his hands. Pushing the bar is easy as cake, but he's subconsciously aware that his ribs may till hurt like hell.

Here goes nothing...

With gritted teeth and a growled grunt Leonid sat down inside the machine, gripped the metal bar above his head and began to push.

The sudden weight his lazied muscles had to lift was uncomfortable, it burned from the inside a bit as he tried to stretch straight up his arms midst pushing, and his lower ribs on the right side were aching but it wasn't painful yet.

At any other time this would have been a piece of cake, but now Leonid's breaking a little sweat. It agitated him to look so weak in front of his enemies, his clone, the boy, and Y/N...

Donatello watched the raising numbers on the remote's screen, Michelangelo sneaking up closer behind him to have a look because he was curious to a fault. The turtle in purple rubbed one of his three fingers over his chin as he calculated inside his brain, thinking the situation over.

"By this time I expect more muscle strength." Donatello looked from his screen at Leonid to observe closely. "The mass is there but we may have to hold him a few more weeks just to make sure."

"Maybe we should change his diapers too." Raphael's snide remark was so sudden and unexpected that it brought back Leonid from his thoughts, he looked over with a startling gasp at the smaller terrapin that approached and he could feel his elbows momentarily buckle. "And how about a bottle while we're at it?"

Cody immediately grasped onto Y/N's arm with a slight tug as he watched the scene unravel, a silent plea for them to do something because he didn't like where this is going, that feeling was mutual on Y/N's side too.

Raphael went past his younger brother and his twin, right over to the machine and the blue turtle that is inside it, as if suddenly charged up with the pent-up emotions he had been bottling under his shell this whole time.

As soon as Michelangelo slowly backed up to Cody it was Y/N who took his empty spot by Donatello. Ready to interfere if no one else will, it just seemed like everyone was curious where this will lead to and what is Raphael's intent.

"SHUT UP!" Leonid growled as he snapped his desperate order as soon as Raphael got too close to his liking, he had to look away and squeeze his eye shut.

This made Raphael want to poke even deeper. "I mean, how old are you anyway? Just a few weeks out of the test tube? Then we shouldn't push the widdle guy so hard!" he gesgured at the clone and looked back at others, as if wanting allies on his side.

No matter how much Leonid wanted his brain to focus on the heavy weights to lift the small terrapin's mocking voice kept drilling into his ear, the helplessness and vulnerability he was cornered into felt unfair, making the rage slowly bubble up to the surface. The machine slowly and unnoticingly at first began to creak and groan.

And to mention his creation out of everything, something he tries to forcefully forget every night when falling asleep, to forget the pain and how afraid he felt.

But here is Raphael, spitting that into his face again, he doesn't even know what he's talking about! He wasn't there! He wasn't a damn lab rat to be made into a slave, nor his brothers!

Leonid didn't ask to be made! He didn't ask to be cloned!

Y/N finally snapped, having enough of him trying to ridicule their guest, this was down right cruel. "Raphael!"

"Raph! What are you doing?!" Leonardo shook off his stunned expression, although it still held some puzzlement under that strict frown.

A guttural, almost animalistic roar along with creaking metal shocked everyone. With groans and growls that wavered because of the struggle, Leonid began to push the bar harder, higher, and past it's limit quite quickly as he tried to let out his anger that began to pressure his shoulders and squeeze at his lungs — begging for it to be let out. It blinded him and with no care that the machine began to break down in a series of creaks and cracks and whipped electricity that buzzed and nipped down the bones of his hands, he kept pushing.

Donatello didn't like the sound of the alarm on his remote and he quickly pressed few buttons, to foresee the damage and see the health results. "He's definitely feeling better...!" he sounded alarmed, anxiety crawling up at his lungs for he didn't know what to do with that giant of a turtle that ignored his surroundings and really wouldn't listen to reason but the machine is not going to hold much longer if he keeps this up.

"Hah!" Raphael shouted with triumph, pointing at the clone with accusation before turning it into a pumping fist. "I knew you were fakin'! Playing possum so you can jump as later!"

Y/N inhaled sharply, trying to get every last bit of courage in their lungs as they stalked towards Raphael, grabbed him by his muscular shoulder with no care if their nails dug into the skin or the armor and turned him around, yelling into his face. "Enough! Stop it! You're worse than—"

They couldn't even finish their sentence when with Leonid's last cry of anger the machine blew up in a thick black smoke, whipping both Y/N and Raphael away onto the ground while others ducked down to avoid such fate.

Although it knocked the air out of their lungs, Y/N was alerted enough to see a metal, ripped piece of the machine incoming at abnormal speed. They quickly pushed at Raphael's chest by repelling from their kneeling by their toes to quickly close the gap, he fell onto his shell.

A burning, sharp pain ripped across Y/N's upper back and it felt like as if their bones were tingling. In their heroic attempt, they put themselves in danger and took the hit. But it was better than Raphael being headless!

Y/N yelled with bursting tears in their eyes, body curling forward and their forehead hit harshly against the cold floor once they fell.

They couldn't notice the falling metal collum of the machine, detaching from the whole thing, right at their curled and trembling form. But Leonid did. And in just a nick of time, with something squeezing painfully at his heart and his guts in a twist but the general pain as if numbed, he jumped onto his feet and in one wide jump closer he punched the heavy metal away with his left forearm that was supported by the grip of his right hand for a better strong-arm.

The threat was effectively disposed of and Y/N was partly unharmed. Leonid couldn't understand it but such sight in front of him made him feel..... so many things he couldn't name but knew were very negative, but there was also this strange relief.

Without a thought he fell on his knee and leaned to Y/N's curled body, their soft sniffles had his heart hurting. The back of their shirt stared to get soaked with their own blood. The metal panel wasn't that sharp to leave behind a clean cut.

He wanted to put his hand on their shoulder, comfort them the same way they did once when he was in pain and the meds hadn't yet kicked off.

But his hesitancy stopped him.

Maybe he would have done bigger damage than help.

The familiar anger surged through him again and he aimed it at the turtle by his left. Leonid, wouldn't he had a second for recollection, would have tackled Raphael while he was still down on the ground but he just towered over him with a rumbling, teeth-baring growl full of hate until the force field surrounded him again and Raphael was shielded from his wrath. And Leonid was grateful, he would have thorn the small turtle to pieces.

When Leonid pushed himself to stand, glaring down at Raphael with resentment, from the corner of his peripheral he saw Y/N being treated by Donatello with Cody by their other side as they tried to kneel up. And Leonid was really... really glad that they're alive. But he wasn't done with Raphael yet, and his other two brothers by his side aren't going to stop him.

"Think you're pretty smart. Think you figured me out." Leonid spat as he leaned just an inch over the sitting turtle, his wide and pent up shoulders casting a shadow over Raphael and he was clearly uncomfortable even though he tried to hide it behind his glare. "You don't understand anything about me!"

Raphael couldn't move a muscle, his brain didn't will it as he stared up at the blue clone that just saved his friend's life without hesitation and now he felt like he must be gaslit into thinking he's the bad guy here, he didn't like it but he had no words on his dry tongue to grasp.

"But it doesn't matter," Leonid's tone was a manifestation of defeat itself, his deep and growelly voice turned ever-so-slightly softer. "I'm just a monster." looking away, with his last words he walked back to the broken machine, just enough away from them to have a room to breathe without raising a suspicion that he's trying to escape.

Leonid just can't understand what came over him. It was none of his business if their human friend would've ended up squashed but his body acted faster than he expected. He could have wrung Raphael's neck before the shield came back online, but he couldn’t make himself to do it. Why? Had the month that he spent here made him go soft? Especially towards his enemies? He has a purpose being here and it would have been "two birds by one stone" situation. Perhaps it's better he didn't took the opportunity or he would have been way far away from the goal he's nearing.

But is Y/N really okay?

Closed fist collided against the already-broken-enough machine with a repressed growl in his throat. The tense pressure didn't go away. In fact, it got worse.

"Stupid human!" Leonid growelled those words with no spite and as silently as he could.

Y/N got themself hurt and now they're paying for the foolishness. But maybe if he hadn't lost his self-control in the first place...

Thinking of them in pain, curled up and bleeding had him more on edge. And why?! He's a sadist at heart! He should be laughing at their agony! Why is it just making him angry instead?! Is it because deep down, no matter how much he tried to deny that feeling, his consciousness had him in a turmoil of guilt?

There was always someone to blame.

He is to blame.

That's how he feels and thinks it's the most logical explanation.

It's his fault that Y/N ended up wounded. That his naive foolishness of letting them close enough to have his emotions affected like this, that he cares, now he has to deal with this blame of himself.

He hates it! He doesn't want to feel this way! Life was much simpler before he came here, before he met Y/N!

It's his own fault that he got himself into this, he detests—

A sudden approaching presence had Leonid look over his shoulder, startled. The turtle from whom's DNA he was cloned from stood behind him with an unreadable expression, but his katanas weren't drawn. But the clone didn't know what to expect now, he'd quite messed up.

Leonardo, with a simple order to his clone, took him back to the medbay and fortunately Leonid didn't had to see Raphael's face on the way back since everyone left before those two did.

Donatello and Cody were in the Medbay already, backs to the entrance, but the only thing that grabbed Leonid's attention like a stop sign was a long, open gash over Y/N's shoulder blades. The terrapin in purple already had it cleaned and was beginning to stitch it up, Cody held onto a little tray with doctor's instruments and the other hand was gripped by Y/N's trembling hand.

"You coming?"

Leonardo's voice grounded Leonid once again. He didn't even notice he stood like a statue at the open door and stared a little too long at Y/N's bare back, his clone patiently waited for him.

With a gruff grunt he descended down the stairs and automatically walked over to his bed to sit down while facing the big window, keeping his gaze at his two-toed feet. Leonardo used the remote to keep the force field in place so he wouldn't be able to roam around again before he joined the three, wanting to inspect the damage himself to have some sort of piece at heart, he was worried sick.

"Will you be alright?" the older turtle brother asked as soon as he walked over the desk to be face to face with his friend, hand gently placed at their knee.

Y/N was squeezing onti their shirt they held by one hand to cover their front for decency, avoiding being naked as a wee baby, fingers ticking at every prickle of the needle. They were grateful that Donatello went slow. Looking up at the blue masked terrapin, tugging on a lopsided smile was a failed attempt to soothe his worry. "Other than sleeping on my stomach for some time, and not to mention it will be itching like hell soon enough, I'll live."

Everyone actually appreciated that silly attempt of a joke, but it didn't sweeten Leonardo's distress that much. "Y/N..."

"I'm the one getting needled through, let me ease up or it will take the whole house to restrain me." they sighed with a little distress and discomfort, wiggling on the spot for a bit.

Leonardo's grip slightly tightened before his big thumb rubbed gently over their knee. "Alright, alright. But if it gets worse we will drop you off at a hospital, whether you like it or not."

"RogeEEEE—!!?" Y/N nearly jumped from their skin as the next stab of the needle was a bit too painful for them, their grip on Cody's hand tightened roughly and Leonardo put both hands on each of their knees to hold them down. "Ow! Ow! Ow...!" their yell became a whimper.

"Almost done." Donatello muttered, concentrated on his work.

"You're doing great, Y/N!" Cody tried to encourage them, voice slightly pitched for his hand still throbbed with slight stinging pain from Y/N's hold.

Although trying to keep good on his silent promise to himself, Leonid had to look over, Y/N's distress put him on edge and he felt... helpless.

And it made him all the more angrier.

It proved all the more that he became pathetically soft for worrying so much, but because of Y/N's personal story from earlier he at last had a clue about those emotions he's feeling and, partly, why.

Leonid looked out the window stubbornly, even had to force his muscles into obedience to turn his shell on them again.

"Ahh, tell me it was the last stab?" Y/N whined.

"You're making Donnie sound like a murderer." Cody chuckled wholeheartedly, rubbing his thumb over their knuckles, and it made Leonardo break into a soft smile.

"Oh, come on you guys, I'm not that twisted." Donatello tutted playfully, grinning slightly.

"Not yet anywa-AUCH!! Damn!!" Y/N yelped, little tears stinging the corner of their eyes. Thankfully, it was the last stitch, they registered it by the snap of the thread being cut.

"Sorry," Donatello murmured softly, placing the needle and scissors back on the tray Cody held. "I will have to bandage you to make sure you won't move, rip, or irritate the stitching. I think you two should leave, I can do this by myself."

"Right." Leonardo curtly nodded and patted Y/N's crown affectionately. "Come on Cody, let's check on others."

And by others, he meant Raphael.

After they left and it was certain they wouldn't return, Donatello picked out a roll of bandages from the small kit and Y/N already waited with their shirt on their lap and lifted arms from their sides.

Donatello tried to make it quick for their sake, but wasn't any less effective with his work.

"Man, was it always this cold in here?" Y/N weakly chuckled, watching goosebumps awaken and little hairs stand on their arms.

"Hmm, there's an open window in the hallway, the cold air could be coming from there." Donatello answered casually, the cold didn't really bother him since it wasn't freezing but perhaps this was a hint that Y/N wanted to have some privacy with Leonid for the last time. He didn't question it.

When Y/N's back was bandaged and some painkillers were handed over to them, Donatello left and they put their shirt back on carefully, any straining movement pulled at the stitching and was near painful. With an inhale of bravery, Y/N walked over to their quest, facing his dark-blue shell that has four sharp spikes growing from the edge of it, two each by the sides of his head. They added a certain charm to his look, Y/N did not stare at them all the time — nope. Not at all wondering if a minimal contact with the pointed end is sharp enough to make one bleed, noooo....

"Heya, Lee, thanks for that quick save. You didn't get hurt too, did you?" Y/N interwined their fingers, hands resting against their lower navel.

Leonid debated with himself what is the better option; talk or be silent. If he were to chose latter option it wouldn't make them leave, he's sure of that. But what is he to make out of their chirpful tone? He just saw that painful wound. That flesh-thorn, raw, nasty wound that was fatefully inflicted because of his temper.

But a human can't take such an injury this well, they're too fragile... That's the impression he got since the day he held one by their throat. Y/N may yet change another one of his views on life, a different perspective he hadn't experienced in his quick-birthed life with twisted views from the very origin of Sh'Okanabo's DNA.

"Why did you take th' hit?" Leonid forced himself to ask, teeth bared and rumbly voice low.

The question got Y/N slightly confused. Didn't they just talk about it this morning? But the fact he began talking back they didn't want to stall with an answer. "Raph can be a jerk at times but he's family. I'd risk my life even if it was someone else in his place."

Something twisted and flipped his gut. He did not like that answer. Y/N is way too kind, especially to those like Raphael, and it is why they get hurt the most!

"You could've been the headless one!" finally looking over his shoulder at them, voice raised a notch as his brows pinched into a frown lines on his forehead.

Without a bat of an eye, they answered; "I know. But it didn't happen."

Leonid was on his feet within seconds, irked, wide shoulders squared up and almost hitting into the force field that is in his way, preventing him from touching Y/N — not that he was about to hurt them but automatically he wanted to put his hands on their shoulder and kneel down to stare at them eye-to-eyes.

"You're so stupid!" he growled down at them but there was no heat of resentment behind those words. It was worry.

Y/N smiled sardonically for a second. Then they nodded before meeting his gaze just as sharply, yet gently at the same time while they came up with another creative comeback. "Yeah, maybe even insane, but I would do it again... Even for you."

Taken aback, Leonid straightened with a strangled inhale, golden eye wide open as he was fighting his speachlessness. "... Tch! Oh, please...!"

Y/N jumped into his retort before he could continue. "You saved me. And I owe you one! Besides, it's the least I can do for a friend. If you'd ever need help with something, feel welcome to ask me anytime."

"No... No, I won't! Because we. will. never. meet again after this. We are not friends! Freaks and humans don't do the pitiable bonding thing." Leonid argued back stubbornly with an echoing growl, hitting lightly the side of his fist against the transparent shield not to cause an alarm and leaned against that forearm.

Y/N watched his frown twist deeper, taut mouth exposing a half of front fangs. They took a step closer to the shield instead backing away like any other logical person would. "Why do you say that—"

"Look at me! You ain't blind not to see what's wrong with all- all this!!" Leonid leashed out, the raw rumble of his growl must have vibrated through the ground because Y/N could feel it their bones. It was a very odd tingling in a sense that it didn't made them feel any close to uncomfortable, quite the opposite. But the blue terrapin, unfocused on things around him as he kept on ranting, didn't even notice the slightest change of their demeanor.

Y/N watched his big hand gestues, flapping up and down by his plastron's chest of unnatural color close to a lime's peel, it was quite a contrast against the blue of his skin, the purple armor and the small pop of red here and there but it complimented his honey-colored eye.

"The only reason I helped was 'cuz I didn't wanna take th' damn blame, those small runts would have thrown it at me, but it looks like I'm still at fault even after saving your necks!— Guess where I'll be going? To jail! For the rest of my life, like any other freak! So, yea, you are welcome, Y/N!"

It felt like he has a baggage of emotions he had no clue what to do with, they could tell that he needs to let it out. Leonid was always the one who did the listening, now it was Y/N's turn.

"I-I don't care about you one bit! Because if I would— I would be the stupid, insane fool just like ya are for wanting to befriend a monster itself!!" there was something that wavered his tone, it wasn't anger, no matter how furious he tried to look.

Y/N gave him all the room he needed, they to each and every word his heavy heart spilled. Once he caught a breather after letting out out, Leonid was suprised with himself and hopelessly stared at Y/N as if he would have the confirmation that he either went insane or them confessing to not paying attention, a part of him didn't mind if it would be the second option.

But by the look of it they hang onto every world. "Shit."

Letting the silence settle for a little longer, Y/N swept their observant gaze over his face, maybe waiting if he would wish to continue amd what is it he fears to hear.

Leonid's attention dropped onto Y/N's lips that opened ever-so-slightly and with a gentle inhale the air filled their lungs and it felt like a preparation for another word that would punch out his own breath, leave him dizzy, and his heart will yearn to understand another new thing that he'd learned.

It makes him feel like a fool.

"Well... Well, I guess, it's a good thing you're no monster. They aren't capable of feeling, or just barely have one or two emotions." Y/N susurrated, trying to put them in a more lighthearted mood while not dismissing his feelings. They lifted their right hand and placed their palm on the transparent shield.

Leonid's face softened at the slight droop of sadness in their voice but looking at the welcoming openess of their hand had his limp left arm rise and his own three-fingered was invited to be placed over Y/N's. Although the force field was cold, and had an odd buzz sensation to the touch, he could feel the heat of their human skin that spread through him. He wished he felt that warmth the first thing he was let out of the lab tube, and for the rest of his days.

"... I wasn't born, I was made. So how can ya say I'm nothing close to a freak?" Leonid exhaled a little defeatedly, his forehead made a contact against the shield, bringing him that much close to them.

Without noticing, Y/N was a step closer to the force field too, staring at their hands and the contrast of how his is thrice the size. "You are still a living being before anything else. You deserve to be treated like anyone else, same goes to your family and I feel ashamed I can't do much with how others treat you with caution..."

There was a pang at his heart because of her genuineness, exhaling though his bared fangs and half-open lips softly created a fog puffle right in front of him.

Leonid blinked to consciousness from the staring before using his forearm to rest his forehead on instead on the harsh surface.

He opened his mouth, prepared to tell them they don't have to feel that way, that it didn't matter to him, that he didn't care but it would have only been half of a truth.

Y/N beat him to ask their question that had plagued their thoughts right after that accident at the Holo Dojo. "Why do you hate yourself so much...?"

Leonid didn't know how to answer that, nor if he should answer at all. "I just do" answer doesn't feel enough of a reason now that he had it on the tip of his tongue. He has so many reasons but it's hard for him to word, he didn't know how, and if Y/N takes everything to heart wouldn't it burden them unnecessarily?

Y/N watched him close his eye tightly, a deep frown pinched between his brows, his thin blue lips pinched is and they worried Leonid is forcing himself to answer when he doesn't want to.

"Don't- don't answer if you don't wanna. No one has the answer right away either, don't worry about it." Y/N softly tried to reassure him, tilting their chin just an inch away from the cold force field but subconsciousness denyed its presence there for a second. "And you still have time to learn about yourself, don't forget that." they offered him a smile.

Leonid looked back at them, holding in breath without realizing as he let the words sink in before he slowly exhaled, tension leaving his body and suddenly he felt a little tired. Their words were somewhat comforting.

Y/N took the time to discreetly jawn into their palm. The painkillers seem to have finally kicked in.

"Go rest..." Leonid gravelly voice had a softer tone, it was pleasing to listen to.

They stared at him before eventually nodding. "Alright, but right back at ya. I will prepare you the breakfast I promised, tomorrow." Y/N's smile was big and reached their tired eyes.

Leonid let out a small, throaty chuckle at which Y/N's eyes sparkled with glee once registering that sound. His responce was a nod with a rumbly hum. Their refreshing kindness always left him wonderstruck.

Forcing themself to push away from the force field but Y/N kept on looking up at Leonid with a graceful, yet a little silly, toothy smile. It was... the most adorable look he'd ever recieved in his life.

Y/N waved one last time by the doorway and Leonid watched them disappear into the hallway, straining his ears until he couldn't hear the sound of their feet on the polished stone floor then letting out a long sigh before sitting back down on his temporary bed and looked forward for another home-made, warm breakfast.

Leonid just didn't know that fate that night had other plans for him and he'd have to leave with his brothers' help without a proper goodbye to Y/N and the food they'd work hard on to make just for him.

Perhaps in the distant future, he would be able to visit the O'niel Penthouse with his brothers as guests and not enemies but not now when he still has to deal with Darius Dun's abuse. But not for long, he had enough to be treated like trash and witness his brothers getting bruised by that disgusting human male that like a coward uses a big metal suit to dominate over them. Soon that man won't even know what hit him and then Leonid and his brothers would be free.

[horsetailcurlers2]

a rough, addison-centric timeline of grey's anatomy/private practice

an anon sent me an ask about when greys/private practice took place and a rough timeline for addison. then i went to edit the draft and accidentallly deleted it. so, i'm sorry, anon! i hope you find this post lol.

okay, so, the grey’s universe contradicts itself multiple times when it comes to the timeline so this is my best approximation/what makes the most sense. i’m putting this in bulleted list format lol bc initially i had a long rambly paragraph that was me basically doing the math as i went. i also got way too carried away and this may be more detailed than you needed. 

Pre-show/establishing age

addison is 39 by the end of season three. this makes absolutely no sense considering her extensive credentials but shhh dont worry about it. in my head i justify it bc she canonically graduated college early, and in my head she skipped a grade or two

she and derek are heavily implied to have met their very first semester of med school. they married in 1994. So there is no official timeline on what years she completed her undergrad, when she graduated med school, or when she completed her residencies and fellowships. 

GA seasons 1-3 

the first three seasons of greys are all one year (they span meredith & friends' intern year)

i initially thought season one took place in 2005 (when the show airs) but in order for everything else to fit it must be 2006. the show contradicts itself about this a few times. personally, i think 2005 makes more sense because addison and derek were married in 1994 and they were married for 11 years at this point. but, they must have made allowances for the fact that three seasons spanned one year.

season one runs from summer to fall 2006. meredith spends two months with derek before addison shows up. addison spends those same two months with mark in new york. so her whole pregnancy/abortion/blonde-hair-for-a-minute all happens in late summer/fall, then she shows up in seattle at the end of season one and by her fabulous fur lined coat, we can gather that it’s fall.

season two picks up directly after season one with no time gap. We get christmas and thanksgiving episodes, and it stretches into spring 2007 (the hospital prom takes place during actual prom season for richard’s niece)

season three once again picks up directly after season two with no gap. addison and derek’s divorce is finalized pretty quickly into the season but i couldnt get the date. the season ends definitively around mid june, because that’s when cristina and burke’s wedding was meant to take place. the two part backdoor pilot for private practice spans the two episodes directly before the wedding/finale, so addison presumably visited L.A around late may/early june 2007 and then came back before the wedding

PP season 1 (+GA season 4)

season one of private practice aired concurrently with grey’s season 4 and the timeline runs directly parallel. there are only nine episodes and they make very very few references to time, so we have to extrapolate from grey’s.

they say that there's a short gap between cristina’s wedding and the start of their second residency year so, season four picks up around early/mid july, meaning private practice also starts around this time. 

grey;s has a halloween episode early on (episode five or six) and presumably runs through the rest of fall and winter. PP season one ends after the ninth episode, which aired before the ninth episode of grey’s. then, addison comes to seattle in GA S4 ep 13. in the episode directly after this, the article comes out about burke winning the “2008 harper avery award”, so i believe this visit is already early 2008. 

PP season 2 (+GA season 5)

seasons 4 and 5 of GA take place over one year, so pp seasons 1 and 2 must also be one year. there are very few time references, so we have to extrapolate from grey’s again. there is a few months long gap between seasons 1 and 2 (bc of the time during which grey's was airing but pp was not)

episode five of grey's takes place in october (so ep 5 of pp must also be around october)

GA 5x14 and PP 2x15 run parallel to eachother. addison calls derek at the end of these episodes. i'm pretty sure this is meant to take place in january or february 2009 (at this point the air dates are closely lined up with the in universe dates). this whole crossover arc spans two episodes of PP and one episode of GA and i’m pretty sure its meant to take place over just a few days.

2x18 of PP takes place over three months so im guessing its at least early summer 2009 by the time the season ends

PP season 3 (+GA season 6)

season three picks up directly after season two (violet’s attack). season 6 of GA also picks up directly after their previous season (george's death). but then GA 6x1 and 6x2 take place over forty days and PP 3x2 picks up a month after 3x1. So theres a lot of futzing and messing with the timeline to make up for gaps and cliffhangers between seasons already. 

they mention that seattle grace mercy west is established in 2009

PP 3x3 is a direct continuation of GA 6x5, for reference

the grey's holiday episode this season (6x10) spans from november 2009, to january 1st 2010. and then PP 3x11 is a direct continuation of GA 6x11. i am assuming it's still january 2010 at this point. (this is also directly after addison finds out the truth about bizzy and susan)

there's a valentines episode of greys (ep 14), so pp 3x14 is probably also february 2010

3x16 to 3x19 take place over two months but then i'm not entirely sure on the timeline of pete and violet’s custody battle

the two part grey's finale/shooting episode takes place some time in late spring or summer 2010 (the next residency year starts in july)

PP season 4 (+GA season 7)

i couldn’t catch the date on dell’s headstone but his death was definitly late spring 2010.

7x1 of GA takes place two months after the season six finale. The episodes where they have to treat the casualties from a college campus shooting (7x10 and 7x11) take place around christmas 2010

4x6 of PP takes place before halloween (pete and violet talk about lucas’s costume) so its october 2010

the musical episode (7x18) is sofia's birthday, which is in may 2011. the PP episode 4x18 runs exactly parallel to it.

callie and arizona’s wedding is 7x20 and its stated that sofia is 3 months old, thus this is three months after both GA 7x18 and PP 4x18

So to recap: private practice season four takes place from around late spring/summer 2010 to spring/summer 2011

PP season 5 (+GA season 8)

here where it gets more tricky bc they do some time jumps around amelia’s pregnancy 

the first episode of season 8 of greys takes place on july 1st 2011. the three episode arc in which teddy’s husband dies (eps 8, 9, 10) take place around mid january i think, based on what she says in the valentines episode (ep 14). the plane crash (the final ep of the season) takes place around mid may 2012.

season five of pp picks up right after season four (pete’s heart attack). the second episode jumps to a month later

episode 5x8 (amelia’s intervention) takes place 12 days after 5x7. assuming this lines up with greys, her intervention, ryan’s death, and her admission to rehab probably take place in late december 2011. then her episode in rehab (5x9) spans the course of fifty days, so the next episode (5x10) likely takes place in mid february

amelia is 20 weeks pregnant in 5x16. i’m going to assume that christopher was conceived very close to the night of ryan’s OD, so i’m guessing it's late spring at this point

5x19 is the episode where amelia gets the horrible news about her baby. There is a time jump. she is six months pregnant at the beginning and seven months pregnant at the end. She gives birth in the season finale. i'm guessing it's already late summer at this point, though somehow addison and amelia did not know about the plane crash. 

so based on the timeline of amelia’s relapse and pregnancy, plus the grey’s timeline, i'm fairly certain season five of private practice take place summer 2011 to summer 2012.

PP season 6 (+GA season 9)

this one's gonna piss me off bc they do so many time jumps in an attempt to tie up loose ends before the show ends

there is a bit of a time jump before season 6, but in the season premiere, amelia celebrates one year of sobriety. so it must already be late 2012. i’m leaving wiggle room with my guesswork for last season, because imo the canon timeline they’re establishing of the last season is a little iffy.

its implied that addison and jake have been together for these past few months between seasons

pete’s memorial happens in 2x2. addison gets the call that mark has been taken off life support, so this episode must run parallel to greys 9x1. there has also been a time jump between GA seasons. it’s unclear whether or not addison visited mark while on life support, but it had likely been a few months so it's possible. they state that mark died in 2012 so it's not yet 2013.

they jump back and forth in time too much over the course of charlotte's pregnancy, henry’s adoption, and vivian carlsmith’s death. the entire season was meant to be a finale, so a lot of episodes focus only on one or two characters and have events that happen concurrently with the events of other episodes and it gets all muddled. but i'm pretty sure episodes 1-12 span a little under nine months (charlotte discovers she's pregnant at the beginning of the season and gives birth in ep 12). so her pregnancy serves as a backdrop to all these other storylines that overlap in these 12 episodes.

there is some kind of time jump between the triplets birth in 6x12 and addison’s wedding in 6x13 but not a very long one.

there is a thirteen week time jump between addison’s wedding and naomi’s ultrasound, then a little longer before sam and naomi’s second wedding.

so from what i can gather, season six took place over the course of around a year, starting in late 2012 and ending in late 2013 (potentially early 2014?? at some point this season the timeline diverges from greys so that they can utilize all the time jumps)

[einsteinsugly]

When it came out that Leia was supposed to be a product of a one night stand; I had this aching suspicion that Callie was casted as Eric's daughter. Not Donna. It wouldn't surprise me if that came out as the truth.

I don't think so, as Netflix had rejected that proposal, and iirc, the creators described a son coming to Red and Kitty's door. And, I think casting came some time after that first proposal was scrapped and after the second proposal was put into motion.

However, I do think the remnants of that idea remained in their second proposal, and its execution. It is readily apparent, by how they cultivated Leia's character, and who they chose to play her.

1. Leia is firmly designed as Eric's daughter, with Donna's traits being an afterthought. She is pretty much a smarter Eric with Donna-ish interests (but cultivated in an Eric-y way).

This would be fine, as a whole, if the other new characters were unique entities, but all the other new characters were made in this way. With the intended OG character as an overwhelmingly obvious base, but with a couple of differentiating traits. Like Gwen is way more extroverted and dynamic than Hyde, Nate is a jock (unlike clumsy Kelso), etc. They did better with some new characters than others. Nate and Ozzie, in particular, are the worst of the bunch.

2. Callie can easily pass as Eric's daughter, but Eric's daughter with someone else. Not with Donna, because there are physical traits that don't mesh with both Eric and Donna being her parents, unless something from two/three generations back suddenly popped up. Her parents and grandparents all have light colored eyes; where did the dark brown eyes come from? Her parents and grandparents are very pale/cool toned, but she has olive skin that tans.

*****

Plus, the first proposal really illustrates how little the Turners care about the characters and the integrity of the OG show (minus season 8, which also had zero integrity). The second, fleshed out version we got is only marginally better, too.

Thus, I think T9S is a result of this weird mix of tunnel vision and adhering to real-life circumstances. With some Star Wars gimmicks sprinkled in for good measure.

1. The Turners were reminiscing about their daughter's Gen X teenagehood in the 90s, and they were willing to discard/contort canon (and ages, as they oddly attempted with Eric) to make it happen. When, obviously, the gang's kids (other than Betsy) would probably be Millennials. Duh.

2. Hyde was omitted (entirely?) due to DM. Jackie and Kelso were plopped together because of Ashton and Mila being together in real life. So JH and KB were likely retconned, as was most of the second half of the show, with only convenient, insignificant details/gimmicks from later seasons remaining. Except for JF and the last few eps, because Mila and Wilmer were putting up a stink.

Thus, T9S is a result of these two major factors, instead of keeping true to the characters. If they did, there would be a That 00s Show revolving around JH and ED's kids, at their houses, perhaps with Eric being a Mr. Feeny type and/or with Hyde being the owner of the kids' default hangout spot, Grooves. But that would never happen, for a variety of real-life reasons, and there's money to be made in an ill-conceived venture instead.

[winderlylandchime]

1/3 We are officially on season 3! And it is a lot and I’m not even sorry for how long this one is because he went through a rollercoaster. And it did start with me starting the ep and then yelling ‘WAIT NO IM MOT READY!’ And then he went to get him Team Brian shirt..this is my actual life now. Anyway: ‘I swear I didn’t touch the tv! I don’t know why it’s without color. (I let him know it’s the ep) oh, well now i feel silly. What’s going on? HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF SHIT AND HELL! HE JUST PUNCHED HIM! HE FUCKING DID IT! I HAVE WAITED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT! OH THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL! FUCK YEAH! FINALLY!! FUCKING FINALLY! *takes the remote and proceeds to rewind it three more times* Oh that was beautiful, i have never felt more alive than in this exact moment. What a beautiful punch! Oh i can tell he himself has wanted to do that for a while…wait why did he do it though? Hold up, i gotta calm down, this made my heart run a marathon’ He paused the tv on Mikeys face falling on the ground and is just staring at it while the biggest smile on his face and then very softly he whispered to himself “again.” ‘ohhhhhh Mad Dog Kinney? I fuck with that. BUT WHAT DID HE DO?! I mean what didn’t he do. But like what happened. Oh fuck, i forgot he narrates this thing…why is he doing that when nobody watches or cares for him? Should the actors who play Brian and Justin narrate? Can he stop talking? Yes please show me what the fuck just happened but now, do it in color!’ I’ve never seen him this happy. ‘NO NO NO NOT THE FUCKING PARTY AGAIN! HAVEN’T I SUFFERED ENOUGH?! Oh look it’s Brian *brian drives off* nevermind.’ The sound that just came out of this mans mouth at the sight of Justin in Ethans bed and the violin music is actually insane. ‘SHOVE THAT FUCKING TAMBOURINE UP YOUR ASS! *pauses tv on naked ethan playing violin and puts his head in his hands and elbows on his knees* UGHHHHHHHHH WHY GOD WHY ME?! *plays ep and ethan says he promised to serenade him awake, immediately hits pause again and burst into laughter and then plays it again* EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW..oh he got him a rose and chocolate for breakfast..what a fucking idiot. Oh he can’t believe he’s finally here? what a fucking weasel and a cheater! I hate them both right now. This *flaps his hand towards ethan and justin* is worse than…quick what’s something really bad? Well whatever! It’s worse than that’ He is sitting on the couch and he just started slowly sliding off of it and is hiding his his face behind his hand. (justin says he can’t stay) ‘haha nobody wants to be around you. He has to pick up his stuff. Where is he gonna live? Debbie’s? Is THAT HOW THEY GET BACK TOGETHER? *mocks ethan* what if he’s there..dude, you fucked him, you stole him and you’re STILL insecure.. i mean good but cmon. YOU DONT CARE CAUSE YOURE WITH HIM? Oh fuck you Justin. SHOVE THAT ROSE UP YOUR ASS! I would die if he stabs Justin with a thorn now. THEY DONT MAKE RAGE ANYMORE? FUCK YOU JUSTIN’ He genuinely sounds like someone is torturing him because he keeps groaning and going ‘ugh!’ Every few seconds. ‘Who do you think you are to just come into his loft? Oh he’s really gonna pack it away whi- OMG HES FUCK- wait that’s them. Didn’t that happen in season 1? Wait this looks the same but different, did they just make ice cream fucking part of their Tuesday nights? Dude, I said it back then and I’ll say it again: hot but yeast infection waiting to happen! *pauses on Brian* HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS? You will never have that with the pianist! Oh so they’re just gonna show me all the times they fucked before he fucked it all up?’ And he went out to smoke. Honestly, he lasted longer than i expected. ‘I forgot about Emmett and Ted. I…I dont think I like it anymore..*looks at me curiously* are all you lesbians like this? Not knowing how to mind your business? Because this *flaps his hand towards mel and linds* is annoying. Their whole thing in this show is cheating and not minding their business’

He had to get his Team Brian t shirt… like he’s watching sports!! (Don’t people wear their team jerseys when they watch sports? I, myself, am not a sports watcher.)

Oh I forget he narrates the thing - SO RELATABLE. Why does Michael narrate the thing? Who’s idea was that?

The cringe of seeing Ethan with Justin and (more importantly) Justin with Ethan is a whole thing this season. Buckle up, brother anon.

“I would die if he stabs justin with a thorn now” UM, so just like wait a handful of episodes and we’ll get to Justin being stabbed with thorns.

Hot but yeast infection waiting to happen. I forgot we didn’t get his reactions to the earliest episodes. But yes, do not put sugar things in your sugar bits and bobs.

HOW CAN HE LEAVE AND CHEAT ON THIS. Indeed, inquiring minds want to know.

Mel and Linds give lesbians a bad name. The representation of wlw on this show was the worst.

[meowkid1000]

Girl help I just finished season two of Sex Lives Of College Girls and no one in my life cares about it but me and I care So Much Rn

first off, starting with the fact I Never binge shows unless I really really really like them, j finished two seasons in 2.5 days. I watched all of season one two days ago, season 2 ep 1-7 yesterday, and I just finished the last few eps today.

Season 1&2 Spoilers ahead!! I’m not going to be articulate about this whatsoever

😭 ok so I just love how they did the characters?? And not just the main four roommates but like the side characters and the ones we don’t see that often?? I didn’t get the main characters names down till like. After I finished the first season, leighton kept eluding me! But like. I still loved them all, and I love how in the second season we got to see more of the side characters relationships to the main characters that they weren’t originally friends with?? Like Jocelyn being friends with everybody and I love how they did Canaan as Kimberly’s coworker first and then Whitney got with him (and then they broke up which I didn’t really care about then but now that kimbers with him I’m like BESTIE WTF ARE TOU DOING) and also I loved getting to see more of lila!!! I also like that the main characters do something shitty and then people are mad at them! Except the theta frat was weird at the beginning of season 2 to me?? Ik they held the fundraiser but also like a strip show fundraiser doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would be very good? And then the lady who came in who was like wtf forgave them too early to me but eh. But like bela being kinda a bitch to jorja? And that on top of bela not telling the journalist to do the group photo and editing the article, of course it makes sense the foxy wouldn’t want her to stay! She does love comedy but also she’s a little selfish!!!

also I love how they did leightons character, she’s like a popular bitch but also closet lesbian but then she meets The Gays tm and she comes out and people accept her and she doesn’t have to change who she is like she’s terrified of but also she does because she learns it’s okay!! And there’s injustice in the world and not everyone liked The Gays tm like when she was sticking up for people at the kappa thing!! And she had Very Internalized Homophobia and said fuck a lot at the beginning which was funky. I hope she gets to talk to her highschool friends again, it would be interesting I think to see in season three if they reconcile and or reconnect after her coming out, because that was a lot of the strain on their relationship as a trio iirc, they said they felt like they didn’t know her and that she was hiding smth all the time.

I wasn’t the biggest fan of Whitney with her coach, but I’m really glad she made up with Jena and then the coach got fired for being a creep! And her mom started laying off a little in the second season which I liked. I think her and Canaan made more sense than Canaan and Kimberly and I’m still kinda mad at Kimberly for that, because Jackson was RIGHT THERE but oK, but also Whitney didn’t tell Kimberly that she was going to try to make things work with canaan or something but also canaan and Kimberly are coworkers n shit like Lila said and girl code n shit like not dating exes so. Crazy stuff ig, I love Kimberly to death but she’s gotta stop whoring around /j

Kimberly and Nico were kinda cute tho!! Except that Nico had a girlfriend and didn’t tell her, that was not cool at all. I’m glad Leighton got pissed at him for not only cheating on her friend maya but also with her roommate kimber. I feel like I relate to much to Kimberly’s attitude towards like. Life generally but also she makes me mad sometimes. I think her and Jackson were going really well!!! They understood they were different but he was more than happy to be involved in her interests, but noooo!! She saw her coworker in a different light for a night and went ❤️🫦❤️ in 0.2 seconds!!! Bitch no u had a boyfriend!!!! Plus she Knows going for Canaan is a bad deal!!!!!!

I really liked bela too, and I’m glad that she’s getting consequences. I wish that she yk. Didn’t cheat on Eric with the comedian. Glad she remembers Eric existed, but also damn girl 1.8 gpa?? And also she wants to transfer?? Girlie that’s running from your problems!!! And also your roommates who love you very much!!! Although the whole ryan thing fucking sucked, she had a bit of a feminist arc in helping start the foxy but girlie no

anyways this probably didn’t make sense, thank you for reading this far if anyone did, and if you haven’t already go watch sex lives of college girls <3 I really liked it and as a current freshman in college I would like to say their fictional lives are very different from my own and had a fun time watching their drama

[vulpiximisa]

Me: i think im burnt out from idols, i should watch something else

Me also: oh boy colorful boys, lets go DreamFes

So the fact that Crunch only has the second season should have deterred me from even starting it, but I guess I didn’t want to watch anymore IMas Side M, so here we are.

I also did not look beforehand if there was any seiyuu I know in it, but this seems like the type of show that has Nobodies. Anyway, I’ve done this before with Futsal Boys, so I can handle this.

So if I thought UniteUp felt like a sports anime, this would be the more generic, played up straight up sports anime of idols. It’s preeetty much Futsal Boys but with idols. In terms of it selling something that doesn’t quite line up exactly for the target audience? I’ve never seen any of the Puri (not Cure) series or Aikatsu, but I’m assuming those are also “magical” transforming idols using cards? The most I’ve been exposed to costume changing cards is Happiness Charge Precure, which, I’m assuming was inspired by series like that. I’m not a fan of it, but I get what vibe it’s supposed to be. So like, sentai toys, but with idols. 

Anyway, not gonna lie, I binged the first three episodes straight up because it was entertaining enough. It’s not as deep as I would have liked, where Blue’s tragic backstory was Not the “I watched someone I care about commit suicide” that I thought it was gonna be, but I guess that was semi traumatizing for a kid. I can’t say the characters are necessarily deep, as Kanade’s reason for dropping soccer kind of pisses me off, and we could have gotten a little more something from Keigo before he left for the 20:32 train. (Why was this the make or break role? Was there an on going rivalry between Keigo and Shin before?) 

The pacing of the series is too fast but at the same time doesn’t really give information. I feel like it really is targeted towards 5-8 year olds with the way the story is written. (Why the characters kept dredging up 2032’s lyrics and talking about it like that. It just felt like it was written sooo simple-y.) Also the semi-repetitive lines/gags from ep 1 and 2, mostly episode 1? Felt like they were dragging for time at some point (a minute too much of Kanade handing out balloons, a minute too much of Kanade and Yellow competing)

Also, I love transformation sequences IF THEYRE NICE TO LOOK AT. The boy’s Dorika henshins are way too samey, so yeah I’m gonna be bored at them. I get it's so they have a generic enough pose so they can CG slap the DoriKa outfits on. The landing pose, dorika catch animations are nice and fun, but iunno, I guess I like my smooth 2D henshins where they are fun to look at.

I complained about IChu’s performances but I see that DF is going to try to cram a performance into each episode. I get it I get it. I think it works for DF though, even if I think the performances themselves are kinda goofy. I like the face model for the guys, but the rest of the body feels a little wonky. (Their hands look under rendered and blobby sometimes I don’t know.) Hold the Phone, this was from 2016, which was also around the time I7 came out. And these guys look leagues better than the first MonGen MV, sooooo I think I know who is winning in this category. 

I guess I can get to talking about the characters now? …I uh, I think Kanade is cute ngl. I like the ponytail and even though his seiyuu sounds unrefined in terms of vocal range/acting, I like the boyish tone. Everyone is generic as hell though, but I was semi pleasantly surprised that Kanade (Red) was butting heads with Yellow (Junya, if I feel like remembering it) instead of the usual Red vs Blue. 

Speaking of Blue, I can’t really say that Kanade’s reason for wanting Shin to stay was super developed but ngl man that chase scene and “I dont want to not see you” etc etc, that shit got to me. See, the tone could have been more serious, if Shin’s tragic backstory was about suicide, so Kanade chasing him thinking that Shin would have followed the same path because of the scandal, etc etc etc. Anyway I’m already writing fic about them in my head while watching the episode skldjflkslfk

Also ngl, Mikami grabbing Kanade and throwing him into the car saying he wanted him Sure Was A Way to Sell to Fujoshis. It’s me, I’m the Bitches. Mikami is supposed to be the fun old star, I guess, I like him, he’s fun. The DF president is also cute! Anyway, I’m looking forward to meeting the other veterans of Sankishi.

Uh oh, I accidentally looked at the seiyuu casting and I guess there actually Are notable seiyuu in here. That’s fine though, I like when they give newbies a chance, but it’s too detached when I know Nobody. (Futsal Boys.) 

Anyway, I guess I’m looking forward to Purple Sweets Shota and his maybe not so tragic backstory with the Black other Shota that might be his Twin, because we love twins. (Not me.) Also, I couldn’t tell if Keigo was also an idol in the opening or if it was someone else? Will also look forward to finding out. 

[petals42]

rest

I guess I write sambucky now?? short fic, set post-season 1 (though written before ep 6 airs), established relationship

It’s five months after New York, almost three months after they started being… them when Sam walks into his bedroom to see Bucky sitting on his bed, shirtless. And armless. It’s sitting on the bedside table next to him. He’s tense and almost glaring at it. 

“Is something wrong?” Sam says, stepping into the room fully and closing the door. “Is it broken?” Instinctively, he looks around. The last time he had seen Bucky without the arm, it was because the Dora Milaje had disabled it somehow and Sam has no doubt that they could get into this house if they wanted to. They could get into any house if they wanted to.

“No,” Bucky says. “No, it’s just-- it’s heavy, you know? I thought it might be nice to-” he waves at it, lying there, inert on the table. “If that’s okay with you.” He is not looking quite at Sam, but just off to the side like he’s waiting for an order. 

“Oh,” Sam says, surprised. He’d never thought about it like that. He figured with all the fancy technology and Bucky’s super strength... “Well--” 

“I can put it back on,” Bucky interrupts, reaching for it as if Sam’s fraction of hesitation was the answer he expected. “I know I look weird without--” 

“Hey, no, wait,” Sam says and he’s grateful for his training that he’s fast enough he can reach out and grab Bucky’s wrist before Bucky gets a chance to grab the arm. He squats down so they are eye-level. “Wait, that’s not what I was going to say.”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, just clenches his jaw as if bracing for bad news. Sam slides his hand up Bucky’s arm to press his hand to Bucky’s cheeks as if he can massage the tension away. 

“You do not look weird without the arm,” Sam says. “You look--” he hesitates. They don’t say words like beautiful or gorgeous in their relationship; it’s still mostly playful banter and laughter and Bucky-Bucky doesn’t like words like that. Sam doesn’t like to think about why Bucky doesn’t like words like that. “You look like yourself, man.” He knows he got it right when he feels Bucky relax under him. 

“Yeah?” Bucky says and he goes for casual but Sam can hear the relief in it. “You sure?”

“Same ugly mug I’ve been stuck with for months,” Sam says, leaning forward to peck Bucky’s forehead before rising to take off his own shirt and pants. From the corner of his eye, he watches Bucky stretch his arm over his head and roll his shoulders back and Sam can admit to himself that his eyes do catch on the lack a few times, the part where Bucky’s shoulder seems to abruptly end instead of shifting into the cool black of metal but he still looks like Bucky. And he does look relaxed, Sam realizes. He hadn’t thought about how much the arm would weigh or what strain that would put on Bucky’s chest or back, but the shield is heavy, he knows. Throwing it around all day is exhausting. He can’t imagine being literally attached to it all day. 

He has to laugh as he finishes brushing his teeth and gets into bed with Bucky still stretching and flexing, twisting around the bed like a contented cat. 

“Dude, you want a back massage or something?” 

“Mm, does it come with a happy ending?” Bucky says, rolling over to smirk at him.

“See, I try to be nice and your mind goes straight to the gutter,” Sam grumbles, like that’s not one of his favorite things about Bucky, the fact that the man is funny and witty and dirty and-- and still basically purring as he stretches again. Honestly, it’s almost enough to make Sam say yes to both ideas. “Jeez, Buck, when’s the last time you took that thing off?” Sam doesn’t remember seeing it off, really, and that’s weird now that he knows Bucky clearly enjoys it so much.

“Mm… it came off for a second in-”

“I know that one,” Sam says. “That doesn’t count. I mean, like this, like really took it off?”

Next to him, Bucky stops stretching. “I don’t know,” he mumbles. “I had it off a lot in Wakanda.”

“Wakanda?” Sam says. “Bucky, that was years ago.” A lot of years if you count the time they were blipped. 

“Yeah, well,” Bucky lifts one shoulder in a rough approximation of a shrug. “It’s… you know, it’s not safe, really. To have it off. If someone were to attack or--” He closes his eyes and stops himself and Sam knows he’s taking a breath and counting to five. Knows cause sometimes he has to do that too. “I figured, here, with you, it’s probably okay to-- we’re probably okay.”

“Um, excuse me,” Sam says, laughing and shoving at Bucky’s shoulder. “Probably? Man, your boyfriend is Captain America, in case you forgot. I am basically a super solider. I am faster than any human alive-- who hasn’t been superserumed, which is cheating by the way. Ain’t nobody gonna mess with this specimen of strength. This bastion of non-toxic masculinity. This--

“Oh my god,” Bucky says, punching him in the stomach. “Shut up.”

“I’m Captain America! I got you!” Sam says, still laughing. “I will protect you like you are the 51st state! Like you are a bald eagle! Like--”

“I’m going to kill you myself if you don’t shut up,” Bucky says. “With only one arm if I have to.”

“Psh, you couldn’t take me with both arms, old man,” Sam says but he settles back and Bucky rolls into his side, draping his arm across Sam’s waist and they are both warm and happy and Bucky feels safe and Sam feels the same way.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

overall killing eve season 4 thoughts--

so, i really did not like season four for the most part -- the tone felt so off to me right from the get-go, i remember getting on here after the first two eps and being like D: -- and i figured i’ll just document why just to get my Rage out:

it felt to me like this season was written by people who weren’t overly interested in eve and villanelle and didn’t really like the show, which is funny because laura neal was also around for s3, which -- despite its flaws and cracks -- i thought really did deepen the eve/villanelle love story in an authentic way. (and in episodes that she wrote!) season three made the leap to go “in spite of everything, their ability to really see each other is beautiful and a good thing for both of them,” it committed to the romance of that, and then season four put them back in such a weird angry, resentful place with 4x01. it did have some moments that still spoke to that connection beautifully -- a rainbow in beige boots -- but it didn’t seem interested in prioritizing that as the #1 most important thing about the show.

often even with the eve and villanelle stuff (both as separate characters and as a relationship), though it was all beautifully acted, it felt very surface-level in its writing decisions. i feel like i came out of season three with an extremely clear understanding of how villanelle had grown and changed throughout it, but if i was asked to describe her arc in this season, i don’t know if i can. season three was a problem season for eve as she got sidelined by the narrative, but i think i might have felt like i understood what she went through better there than here, too. re: s4, eve felt like she was doing a lot more, but not necessarily in a way that spoke to anything deeper. she was whizzing around onscreen doing a lot, but what did it allow us to know about eve?? this season’s writing seemed to have no interest in really digging into why eve was so into destroying the twelve, why eve got so lured in by helene, etc. etc. etc. i also really think the greatest mistake this show ever made was the villanelle-only ep (though it was a good episode); i always think that i would have immediately followed it with an eve-only ep as episode 3.06 to keep the show THEIRS, but the second-best thing you could’ve done was an eve-only ep this season. which i think would have made a lot of sense because, again, WE NEVER GOT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER BACKSTORY!!!!!!!! the fact that instead we got a black and white carolyn and konstantin flashback ep is gonna piss me off forever.

that brings me to: this show trying to be an ensemble show was a horrible decision. i hoped they’d correct that for their last season, but instead they swung even further in the ensemble direction. i don’t have to tell you guys this; i just like to profess my hate for it! i also really, really disliked helene as a character and super did not enjoy her getting so much screentime, though i know that isn’t a universal feeling. (on the flip side of that, i did find pam really engaging -- though idk that her character should have been there in this, the final season -- and i will follow anjana vasan anywhere! so excited that there’s more we are lady parts in the future!!! and if you haven’t watched that, you should, it’s so fun and we could all use some fun right now. it’s on peacock!)

i have, many times, been in the place where i’m trying to write and i’m just not inspired so i just desperately start making anything happen even though i know it’s the wrong thing and it won’t serve the story in the long run. in particular, when i was younger and trying to write SOME novel, ANY novel, i fell back on this a lot, and i still vividly remember the awful feeling of strain that came with it, where you didn’t know what you were doing but you were just flinging random ideas at the page just so there would be SOMETHING. that is the exact feeling i get from this season. like they didn’t really want to be writing it, and they were just flinging random ideas out there all throughout just so something could be written, like an assignment they had to turn in. i found this so frustrating to watch because i feel such an inherent kinship with these two characters and i just have a hard time imagining not wanting to explore them and their relationship. the idea of not wanting to really dig in baffles me and honestly breaks my heart a little bit.

like, i could have accepted villanelle dying if it was written well and paced differently. i get that death is horrific and random, and hits when you least expect it, but i don’t necessarily think that fact of life can be used to make this into effective writing, because it’s not. i’ve been racking my brains trying to find a way to make this ending feel more earned, and i was like, “well, technically, every season finale has ended with villanelle leaving eve: in season 1, she fled after eve stabbed her; in season 2, she left her to die; in season 3, she left because eve asked her to and it was an act of love. so maybe villanelle dying in the final season makes sense. and eve starting and ending the series screaming is bookends-y, i guess!” but like ... i already feel like, just in thinking that, i’ve put more thought into it than the writers did, you know?? i think the writers were just like “ha ha, it’s going to feel like they’ve won the day and they can be together but it’s a TRAGEDY so at the last minute villanelle will DIE HORRIBLY!” it’s just something i feel like anyone could have written about any characters, and if any characters demand and deserve specificity, it’s THESE TWO!

like, the whole thing about tragedy is that the outcome needs to feel inevitable based on the choices the characters have made. and i just don’t think that energy was here AT ALL.

anyway: i love eve and villanelle and the beautiful work that sandra and jodie did all season, breathing gorgeous life into what was usually absolute garbage, but this season can bite me.

they ABSOLUTELY should have had the whole season be “eve and villanelle, road-tripping wives on a hunt for the twelve”, and i at least thank this episode for proving that. ya done messed up, writers.

i do feel very happy that eve and villanelle got (in my humble opinion) the greatest first kiss* ever televised, however. who deserved it more than them after all these years?!?!??!

* first kiss not immediately followed by a headbutt

also: are we supposed to read into it that villanelle just killed a room of random people because carolyn sent them to the wrong place?? but also what boat wedding has a secret meeting room of scheming old guys?? I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHINGGGGGGGG! WHAT WAS THIS SEASON’S “PLOT”, YOU GUYS? [cue sobbing]

it’s so weird to think back to season one and then to everything that happened this season and be like “this is the same show.” what. (in some ways this makes me happy, like in the way that eve and villanelle have developed such genuine love for each other over the years. but in most ways, it does not.)

[rishi-eel]

thinking (yet again!) about the differences between the bad batch story reels and the season seven arc and like... some changes just blow my mind because all it did, really, was make the bad batch less likable.  

lets star with the whole “reg” thing. if i remember correctly, in the originals “regs” is said twice. the first instance is by crosshair when taunting jesse in the LAAT. the second is said by hunter: he tells tech (who’s hacking into the cyber center) that he and wrecker are going to “go get the regs” (i.e. rex and jesse). that is, hunter only used it among his squad when the others were not present (much like how cody informs that the bad batch are defective clones out of earshot. these words are descriptors, but there’s also an offense associated to being referred to by them). the idea that hunter has restraint referring to regular clones this way in their faces connects, i think, to how hunter was a tad more apologetic to jesse in the original script. “he means regular clones. don’t take it personal. it’s just that we don’t always follow protocol” carried an actual sense of hunter trying to convince jesse that it’s nothing to do with him.   

it’s interesting, i think, that in a context where you have clones and defective clones, that the bad batch (as defective clones) would find a way to talk about other clones in reference to themselves in a way that normalizes their own existence. it also introduces the idea that the bad batch experience a level of disconnect, and even animosity, in regards to other clones. all that can be conveyed by only using the word twice. the season seven episodes added three more instances, and in all of them the bad batch members comfortably throw the word around the clones who “are regs.” the sense of separateness (which, again, was already established/achieved by using it just two times) is only made stronger (thus more needs to be done to portray a sense of reconciliation or coming together. the reels succeed this to an extent because that barrier wasn’t built up as high). 

so yeah in the original... wrecker didn’t say “we always get shot down when we travel with regs,” he kept quiet as he helped people out of the wrecked gunship (in fact, wrecker lost a lot of subtlety going from the reels to the final eps, which i’ll get back to). hunter didn’t fake-compliment rex with a “not bad, for a reg”! and oh boy crosshair’s comment implying that echo is worthless and expendable because he’s a “reg”... yeah that was not in the reels either. in fact, not only does crosshair not call echo a reg, the meaning of his original dialogue was completely different.

in the original, after hunter voices his suspicions echo might be dead, crosshair suggests that if alive echo could be cooperating with the enemy, making him a traitor. rex takes this as an attack on echo’s character and crosshair explains that no, he’s not intending to insult echo, by saying: “oh i don’t blame him, if i were left for dead, i wouldn’t be so loyal.” and like!!!!! that’s such a radically different line of dialogue because crosshair seems to blame rex for having left echo behind, actually. if you betrayed the republic to survive, or even out of spite, i don’t blame you even if you now present a threat to myself and my family, is such an interesting, empathetic sentiment. and that contrasts with the lack of regard given to rex, making it read like he’s condemning rex for leaving someone behind. crosshair doesn’t seem to understand, as an experimental commando clone, the pressures rex as a legion captain is under, because he’s seen a less expandable (they’re a specially trained four man team, if one dies that’s 25% of the unit gone. is there a replacement for that member? you get the idea). so you’ve got a clash between different povs, but also crosshair being shown as having a set of morals, chief among them being that you do not leave anyone behind. so remember when rex says to move out and crosshair goes “commander cody is in no position to move” yeah i’d say that’s crosshair making sure cody isn’t being left behind. when crosshair saves anakin? that’s because he saw anakin go off on his own and followed him. because you don’t leave people behind. and like... the idea that yeah crosshair is an asshole. he’s unpleasant and that’s deliberate. he doesn’t care if people like him and he’s not trying to be liked. but that he values the lives of other people and looks out for them? that makes an interesting, flawed and multifaceted character. that got lost in the dialogue change because its no longer suggested that crosshair holds these values.

as for what i said earlier about wrecker: he lost subtle, nonverbal moments through the addition of lines that are either anticlimactic or only serve to make him seem loud or ditzy in an exaggerated fashion. he didn’t laugh when the LAAT came down. he was quiet as he helped people out of the downed gunship (no comment about regs!). he didn’t say “boom” when the ship exploded in the background after he flipped it over (the difference? a character moment that’s actually cool and impressive vs something that’s corny). when wrecker comes to crosshair’s aid by picking rex off of him, there was no quippy one liner. there was no need for anything to be said for it to be understood that wrecker is acting as a barrier and it trying to intimidate rex. when he’s afraid to get onto the elevator? that’s conveyed visually through camera angles and through hunter picking up on the fact that he’s scared. he doesn’t scream (if you can call a comical “aah what is that thing oh no its going to get me” a scream) when the organic decimator almost gets him. when they walk across the pipe? wrecker doesn’t whimper or talk to himself for comfort. he is scared of heights, that’s already been established, but he’s also a grown man and a soldier like he’s keeping that to himself? like we see wrecker hesitating to walk on the ledge but doing it anyway because he has to. in a piece of dialogue that was cut, tech said “does anyone want to know the odds of us making it across alive?” to which wrecker (who’s you know already having a bad time) interrupts with “don’t even think about it, tech” (if ur curious, this exchange was replaced with: wrecker: “keep walking tech!” tech: “that’s fine, but if you fall don’t take me with you” which???? uuh weird exchange). also, the fact that wrecker was mostly dealing with his fear silently means that when hunter tells wrecker to hold on because they’re almost there... that’s because hunter knows he’s scared and is checking up on him. basically... any kind of serious moment was cheapened by having wrecker talk in them. now i don’t want to say that DBB is a bad voice actor, but his expertise is making animal noises. he’s not able to do a realistic, deep voice, meaning that whenever wrecker talks he kind of sounds like a joke. it’s fine when wrecker is actual being lighthearted and jokey, but otherwise? the emotion just does not come across as genuine, which breaks the stakes or weakens credibility.  

and god the whole plot point about the bad batch being suspicious of echo was nonexistent in the reels. the “don’t worry, echo says he’s got a plan”/”that makes me feel so much better” exchange between rex and tech is in the original, but tech’s sarcasm isn’t from doubting echo’s allegiance, it’s because they’re planning to land on admiral trench’s ship and echo having a plan (that he himself doesn’t know) doesn’t exactly soothe his anxieties. rex acts like tech’s being a big joker and playfully shoves him, telling him to get on board. which is an interesting interaction because these characters are kind of starting to bond?? as for tech and echo, they kinda become nerdy friends really quick. like when tech warns echo not to send the signal right away because he first needs to make it look like it’s coming from skako minor, echo’s like “oh yeah good thinking tech.” and when echo figures out a way to shut down all the droids at once tech is impressed and lightly shoves his shoulder. again there is none of that “oooh maybe echo’s a traitor maybe he’s with the techno union” shit. like i understand that the writers wanted to up the stakes but it falls flat because the idea of echo being a traitor isn’t credible. it does not seem like an actual risk or possibility. so all it did was make the bad batch seem like assholes, cutting away at some very nice character moments.   

ok this is a long post and you might ask yourself “but tumblr user rishi-eel, why do you care so much about the story reels, this stuff isn’t canon now” and there are a couple reasons, first, i think it managed to tell a better story overall. so the question is: why is that? because you would expect that writers reworking the plot would add improvements and not downgrades. and to be fair, the s7 episodes had a bunch of upgrades, but not when it came to the characterization of the bad batch. another thing to consider is that changes were made in the context of setting the bad batch up as future protagonists of their own spinoff series (something the original arc was not intended to do because there were no plans for a bad batch series). were the characters made flatter and more archetypal to add to marketability? was the reg/defective clone rivalry (and dichotomy, even) amplified because this separateness serves a narrative in which the bad batch are heroes and the other clones villains?  

[yelena-bellova]

Safe Haven: tfatws!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader - Chapter Two

chapter one -Chapter Two: According To Plan - chapter three

Series Masterlist

Plot: Y/n and Sam leave for Munich, gaining the surprise addition of Bucky Barnes to their team. 

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader, Sam Wilson x platonic!reader

Warnings: spoilers for ep.2, language, violence, squint for fluff in between all the chaos, Y/n and Bucky ain’t feeling each other yet, protective big brother Sam, nobody likes Walker

Word Count: 7.5k (ya’ll, we had to split episode 2 into two chapters because I use too many words lol)

A/N: OKAY, thank you to everybody for supporting the first chapter. I didn’t really think anything would come of it but I was clearly wrong. Hopefully you enjoy this one just as much, each episode will probably be divided into two chapters if the rest of the season continues on like it is. 

----

The government hadn’t just failed Sam, they were rubbing his face in the fact that they thought their knockoff Captain America was a better candidate than him.

I followed my brother down the halls of the New Orleans air force base, trying to ignore the paraphernalia that hung on the walls. John Walker was everywhere you looked; the internet, televisions, posters were plastered all over the city announcing his new appointment. Each time I had to read the words ‘Cap Is Back’ I became a little sick to my stomach. Sam stopped in front of me once we’d reached the hanger to stare at one of the posters. Though he tried to keep his face neutral, the sadness bled through in his eyes.

“Seems like a good guy. You met him?” a man who I assumed was Sam’s military contact asked.

“No,” Sam answered before changing the topic, “Thanks for doing this on such short notice.” “Yeah, no sweat. I’m just finishing up the checklist, you two’ll be all good to go once you land in Munich,” he looked to me and reached a hand for me to shake, “Joaquin Torres.” “Y/n Y/l/n. Thanks for not making any noise about me coming along for the ride.”

“Hey, I trust an Avenger’s judgement on who to bring to a fight,” he smiled, stopping at the top of the steps to allow me to go before himself.

I elbowed Sam as we descended the stairs side by side, “Hear that? You’ve got good judge- why’re you making that face?” Before he could answer, a foreign voice announced its presence. “Shouldn’t have given up the shield.”

My eyes fell to the floor below us and climbed the looming figure waiting at the end of the staircase. I didn’t need to have any history lessons on who he was or why he’d come to talk to Sam about such a subject. James Bucky Barnes, the second 100+ year old man to walk the earth without a single wrinkle. The tragic tale of HYDRA’s bloodthirsty history. The man Sam had fought to protect and been sent to prison for.

“Good to see you too, Buck,” Sam passively greeted the man, swerving around his body to continue on our path to the jet. The hint wasn’t taken. 

“This is wrong.”

“Hey, hey, look, I’m working, alright? So all this outrage is gonna have to wait.” Bucky fell into step on the other side of Sam, pointing towards yet another poster of John Walker, “You didn’t know that was gonna happen?”

“No, of course I didn’t know that was gonna happen,” Sam’s tone became more emotional, “You think it didn’t break my heart to see them march him out there and call him the new Captain America?” “This isn’t what Steve wanted,” Bucky pushed. Sam was growing tired of the questioning, “What do you want me to do? Call America and tell ‘em I changed my mind? Huh? Yeah, right. It’s a great reunion, buddy, be well.” “You had no right to give up that shield, Sam.” I could no longer stay silent and let him try and make a good man feel guilty. “Okay, you’re out of line with that one, Barnes.” Bucky finally took a second to register my being there before looking back to Sam, “Who the hell is this?” “She’s none of your concern, but let me tell you what you’re not gonna do,” Sam stood in front of Bucky, “You’re not gonna come here in your overextended life and tell me about my rights. It’s over, Bucky. Besides, I have bigger things to deal with now.” Emotions I couldn’t fully understand took over Bucky’s face, “What could be bigger than this?”

Sam fished his phone out of his back pocket and held it up to the Super Soldier, “This guy. His connections with rebel organizations all over Eastern and Central Europe and he’s strong. Too strong.” “And?” Bucky asked, unimpressed.

“Well, he’s been connected to this online group called the Flag Smashers. Now, Redwing traced them to a building somewhere outside of Munich so that’s where I’m going,” Sam turned to me to signal we were walking again.

“Well, I don’t trust Redwing,” Bucky continued his pursuit, “Hold on a minute.” “You don’t have to trust Redwing,” Sam said firmly as we paused again, “But I’mma go see if he’s right. ‘Cause I have a feeling they might be a part of the Big Three.”

Bucky’s eyebrows lowered in confusion, “What ‘Big Three?’”

“The Big Three.”

“What Big Three?” “Androids, aliens and wizards,” I answered before Sam could. “That’s not a thing,” Bucky shook his head. “That’s definitely a thing,” Sam nodded. “No, it’s not.” “It really is,” I set my bag down on the ground and crossed my arms, there was no indication we’d be leaving any time soon.

“Every time we fight, we fight one of the three,” Sam insisted.

“So who are you fighting now, Gandalf?”

Sam inhaled to continue arguing before snapping his head back in surprise, “How do you know about Gandalf?” “I read The Hobbit,” Bucky answered confidently, “In 1937 when it first came out.”

“So you see my point?” “No, I don’t. There are no wizards.” I pointed to Bucky and tilted my head towards Sam, “Now there, I agree with him.” Sam looked offended that I didn’t automatically back him up, “You both are wrong…Doctor Strange.” “Is a sorcerer,” Bucky finished.

“Aah!” Sam laughed and poked Bucky’s firm chest, “A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat. Think about it, right? I’m right. I just came up with that, it’s crazy.” Bucky’s face read that he was thousand shades of done with Sam’s childish argument, even if he’d fought just as immaturely. I was beginning to see why Sam didn’t recount his brief time spent with the ex-Winter Soldier that fondly but I’d also forgotten how easy it was to push Sam’s buttons sometimes. There was some unwitting dynamic between them that I didn’t want to be in the middle of. “So glad we’re wasting valuable time on arguing over whether or not Harry Potter’s real,” I spoke up, tapping my foot out of impatience.

Sam was the first to snap back to reality, “That’s not the point. These guys aren’t magical, alright? They use brute force just like you, the incredibly annoying guy in front of me with the staring problem,” he reached down to grab my bag and hand it to me, “Let’s move.” “I’m coming with you,” Bucky called, the sound of his combat boots hitting the hanger floor behind us. “No, you’re not,” Sam answered harshly. “Oh my gosh,” I groaned before dropping my duffle bag again on the tarmac and spinning around to face the two men, “I don’t know how you two could have possibly saved the day as much as people say you have if you’re always like this! You,” I pointed to Sam, “Stop trying to do this on your own. You,” I moved my finger towards Bucky, “No more talking about the shield. If anybody needs me,” I wiggled my fingers and let the blue energy lift my bag into the air, “I’ll be waiting in the jet.” ——

Bucky and Sam stood speechless as they watched Y/n march across the tarmac, her bag magically floating behind her. “Who is she?” “My sister, Y/n,” Sam answered, “I didn’t know she could do that till today. She twisted my arm until I agreed to let her come.” Bucky’s eyes hadn’t left Y/n since she took control and ended Sam and his bickering. There weren’t many people who met him for the first time and didn’t give him a second glance. If she was Sam’s sister then she sure as hell knew about his past. Yet here she was daring to order him around and advocate for him to join Sam and her on their mission. It also went without saying that she was gorgeous. But she had proven that she didn’t understand the seriousness in which the situation with the new Captain America needed to be treated with, and that irked him. Still, his feet automatically wanted to carry him to the jet once she’d headed up the ramp and he’d lost his view of her. “Can’t decide whether I like her or not.”

——

Not having a suit to wear, I had changed on the jet from my sweater, capris and sneakers to a black shirt, jeans, booties and my favorite blue leather jacket that matched the blue that flowed from my fingertips.

When I stepped out of the jet’s bathroom, I expected to find Sam and Bucky fighting again. The whole flight so far has been filled with the same tension that had begun in the hanger and we’d been sitting in uncomfortable silence ever since. I was sure that the second I left, they’d be going at it again like children when a parent disappeared. Instead, they were quietly sitting on opposite sides of the jet with their eyes trained on one another.

“Can you guys quiet down for a second?” I sarcastically remarked as I walked across the room, “I can’t hear myself think.”

I deposited my bag in the corner of the jet near where Torres was climbing down the ladder, “One minute to drop off, Sam.”

I expected to turn around and see both Sam and Bucky up and preparing themselves, but the two men were still embroiled in a stare down. Sam and I had always cheesed each other off in a typical sibling fashion, but Bucky and his relationship seemingly consisted of nothing but that. 

Sam finally rose from his seat and Bucky quickly did the same, I brushed past him to stand on the other side of Sam. “So what’s the plan?” Sam ignored the question and handed me a small black device, “This is your comm, don’t lose it.” I nodded and placed the small ear piece in my ear, the faint hums of the jet coming through it.

With no direction from Sam, Bucky sat back down unhappily. “Great. So no plan?”

“Thirty seconds,” Torres shouted over the wind coming in from the open hatch.

“Enjoy your ride, Buck,” Sam remarked from beside me. “No, you can’t call me that.” “Why not? That’s what Steve called you.” “Steve knew me longer and Steve,” Bucky tilted his head to Sam, “Had a plan.”

I shook my head to shake off the ridiculousness of arguing nicknames at the moment. “I’m sorry, are we really playing the name game when we’re literally about to jump out of a plane? I get this is my first mission and all but- Bucky’s eyebrows shot up his forehead as he looked to Sam, “This is her first mission? What the hell were you thinking, bringing her?” “She,” I took a step towards Bucky, “Is more than capable of handling herself. First mission or 100th, I know what I’m doing, Barnes.”

“Fifteen seconds to drop!” Torres’ announcement ended any further arguing between me and Bucky.

“Listen to the woman,” Sam smirked as he put on his goggles, probably thinking back to a few hours ago when I’d body slammed him into the roof, “And I have a plan.”

“Really?” Bucky spread his arms out as we watched Sam walk away from us, “What is it?” Sam had already told me that he’d drop in first and I was to follow once he’d cleared the area. Bucky had not been privy to hearing that discussion and Sam had made no effort to fill him in. Without giving Bucky a second look, but winking at me, he dove headfirst out of the hatch and activated his wings, flying gracefully downwards towards the forest. I had never gotten to see him fly and felt a sense of pride as I looked out to see him glide above the trees.

“Where’s the chute?” Bucky called out.

“We’re at 200 feet, it’s too low for a chute,” Torres stated.

Bucky stalked towards the door, “I don’t need it anyway.”

“Neither will I,” I said, taking a step forward to see just how high we really were. I was confidant in my ability to keep up with Sam and wanted to prove my capability, but I was human. It went against every natural instinct to step out into the air and catch myself. Bucky moved to stand next to me, the two of us turning to face each other. This was the first time we’d actually made more than fleeting eye contact and I was finally able to get a good look at him. His features were sharp, his cheekbones and jaw were extremely prominent. Something more than scruff and less than a beard covered the bottom half of his face. His eyes were cerulean blue, just nearly matching the shade of my energy. Complete with a short, scruffy haircut, I wasn’t sure if handsome was a strong enough word for just how good looking James Barnes was. 

“Ladies first,” Bucky nodded towards our exit, never breaking eye contact, “Sure you know what you’re doing?” I smiled smugly, matching the amount of sass radiating from his words, “Do you?”

Not wanting to give him the opportunity to think up a come back, I turned away from him and threw myself out of the plane. An unavoidable scream flew from my lips as I free fell, somehow managing in the chaos to threw my arms out at my sides and expel my energy to control my descent. Once I got a hold on maneuvering the winds, the act actually became almost enjoyable. I found myself laughing as I weaved between the trees, until my laughter was accompanied by a fast approaching scream above me. A shower of branches began to rain down around me forcing me to swerve to the side just in time for Bucky’s figure to come crashing through. He landed harshly on his back, limbs spread out and a pained groan escaping his lips.

I floated directly above him, “I stand corrected, you definitely know what you’re doing.” “I have all of that on camera. You know that, right?” Sam’s voice came through our comms. Redwing flew up from behind us and zoomed in on Bucky’s face. 

“Get out of my face, Sam, or I’ll break it,” Bucky uttered, exhaustion filling his voice.

“Okay, head north. Come on.” I snickered at the exchange and lowered myself to the ground close enough to Bucky to extend him a hand. He accepted it and I helped pull him to an upright sitting position, trying to hide the fact that I struggled with his weight. “Thanks.” “Well, my mom taught me to always help my elders,” I said with a smirk, earning myself a scowl in response. “You’re as bad as Sam, aren’t you?” he moaned as he rose to his full height.

“Okay, okay,” I ceased my soft laughter, “I’m sorry. Seriously, are you okay? I know you’re a super soldier but still-” “I’m fine,” Bucky confirmed quickly, brushing the dirt from his jacket and turning north, “Let’s go.”

The two of us fell into a silence that wasn’t necessarily uneasy but certainly not relaxed. We weren’t enemies, we weren’t coworkers and we definitely weren’t friends. We’d spoken all of about five sentences to each other since meeting and none of them had been particularly chummy. “Sam only mentioned one sister,” Bucky broke the non-verbal spell.

“Sarah,” I stated, “We’re not technically related but they’re family. Sam told me he reached out to you and never got anything back. I think he was wondering how you were doing.” “Yeah, well…” he mumbled, stepping over a particularly large boulder and avoiding my gaze. 

I decided not to push the subject, not only were we nearing the warehouse, Sam could hear us through the comms and Redwing. But I made a note of the lightning quick wave of emotion that crossed Bucky’s eyes. Sam was definitely a trigger for him, but I had a feeling this was something much more complicated. Something I didn’t have time to get too curious over.

We made it out of the forest and Redwing led us to the back entrance to the warehouse. The graffiti and wrecked roofing made me want to believe that nobody had been there in ages, but Sam’s intel contradicted the setting. My brother, the esteemed military man, was also contradicting his age as he maneuvered Redwing just above us to provoke Bucky into taking a swing at him. “Oh-ho-ho, don’t hurt him,” he teased as Redwing quickly avoided the assault.

Sam stood in the next room staring down at the screen on his wrist, scanning the building through Redwing’s camera. He took a quick look at me to assess that I hadn’t been injured in the fall before turning back.

“You’re doing the staring thing again,” he commented without looking up. That one I’d give him, Bucky’s smoldering stare game was intimidating especially when he wasn’t saying anything. “They’re in there,” Sam tilted his head towards the nearest open doorway and stretching his arm out so Bucky and I could see what Redwing was seeing. There was a truck with two people loading in containers of something.

“Where’s the guy?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. I think they’re smuggling weapons though.” “Well, I think you could be right,” Bucky’s voice lowered. “Hmm,” Sam nodded.

“But there’s only one way to find out,” Bucky turned towards the doorway, “I see a clear path, I say we take it.”

As soon as his boot hit the ground in its first step, Sam reached for his arm. “We’re not assassins.” “Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, observe from a distance rather than attack straight away?” I offered.

Bucky’s eyes flicked to me when I spoke and promptly back to Sam, throwing away my suggestion. He probably thought me naive. “I’ll see you inside or not.”

He pulled his arm out of Sam’s grip and went ahead, leaving Sam chuckling to himself. “Hey, come on, man. I’m just messing with you, come back,” he called softly. “‘I’m just messing with you,’ the Avengers’ official slogan,” I dryly jested, “Here I was thinking we were doing serious work. Is Redwing still surveying?” “Yeah,” Sam was still smiling to himself as he turned to watch Bucky stalk down the hallway, “Look at you. All stealthy. A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther.” 

“It’s actually White Wolf,” Bucky responded in our ears.

“Huh?”

When we lost visual on Bucky, Sam snapped his fingers and nodded towards the hallway. We made our way through the various openings until we’d caught up, Sam held up a finger to his lips as we caught sight of Bucky and our steps became even softer.

“All right, I’m inside. Therefore way ahead of you,” Bucky bragged, turning back to where he thought we waited, “It’s not great but very doable.” His peripherals must have caught the red and white of Sam’s suit, he turned to see the two of us at his side. “Hello. How are you?” “Good. What did we miss? Nothing,” Sam replied.

“All right, let’s go,” Bucky moved to step forward again.

“No, wait,” Sam protested.

Bucky held up his prosthetic vibranium arm I had heard so much about. “I got a vibranium arm, I can take them.” “And I can fly, she can make things float, who gives a shit? Wait. I want to see where they’re going.” Bucky pointed towards the truck that was still being loaded, “There’s two people.”

“You only see two?” Sam started. “That’s what I saw,” Bucky confirmed.

“Let me see what Redwing sees.” “All right…” “Let’s see what Redwing sees…”

I held two fingers to my temple and rubbed, “My gosh, it’s like working with children.”

Sam fiddled with a few controls on the screen and activated the x-ray feature on his beloved drone, “Oh, look at that. How many people you see now? One, two…Oh, here it comes again.” Bucky sighed, unhappy to admit he was wrong, “Four. Five.” “Yeah, five.” “So they’re strong, whatever,” Bucky brushed off not only the math but our group’s capabilities. “Let’s go.”

“Barnes, wait,” I hissed as Sam reached out and took hold of his arm, his elbow hitting the metal shelves we were hiding behind and rattling something.

“Shit!” Sam whispered, he pulled me to his side to block me while Bucky ducked down. The group turned to investigate the noise but disregarded it at the lack of visible culprits. The trucks started and their doors were closed, each person getting into their designated vehicle. Sam started tapping on Redwing’s controller again, “There’s an eighth person. I think they have a hostage.”

With one look from Bucky, the three of us snapped into action. I raised myself into the air ahead of Sam who took off slightly behind me, looking down to see Bucky running impossibly fast. “Y/n, with me,” Sam called through the comms, I listened and hung back until he’d caught up. Bucky continued on his way until he’d climbed onto the back of the truck. I followed Sam’s lead as we flew to the side of the road.

“Shouldn’t we be helping him?” I asked as the two of us landed.

“They’re stealing medicine, vaccines,”  Bucky’s voice filled my comm.

“He’s got it, we’re staying here and waiting for him to come back with the hostage. Then you and I are gonna keep following the trucks and see where they’re heading,” he explained, “I’m trying to keep you out of as much of the fight as I can.” “That’s the whole reason I came, Sam,” I argued, gesturing towards the road, “To help, to fight.”

“Bucky, talk to me,” Sam favored to ignore my desire to do dirty work, “What’s goin’ on?” 

“Found the hostage,” he reported, followed only seconds later by a loud exclaim of “Shit!”

Adrenaline set every nerve alight in my body, something had gone wrong. Without asking for Sam’s permission I took off running down the road. I used my energy to lift towards the sky and flew the same way the truck’s had gone. Distantly, I heard Sam yell my name but made no effort to stop. “Barnes, talk to me,” I yelled over the winds I was flying against. As I spotted the trucks I saw the small silhouettes of figures standing atop one of them. Once I got closer, I could see that the one being aggressively pinned by two of them was Bucky. I landed on the vehicle’s roof just in time to see someone leap into the air, grab Redwing and break him with their knee. Between my want to help Bucky and my second hand protectiveness over Sam’s gear, I was pissed. The masked figure looked up at me, two brown eyes peeking out of eyeholes and marched forward, making me their next target. I created a ball of blue energy and aimed it at her, knocking her down but only for a second. She leapt towards me and landed a punch across my cheek, I went down with a groan and cradling my cheek. Now I was really pissed…

I opened an eye to see the shadow of Sam’s Falcon suit above me, he touched down on the truck and landed a kick to my assaulter’s abdomen. He quickly helped me to my feet as our enemy rose again and took a fight stance. 

“Good of you to join the fight, Sam,” Bucky yelled before kicking one of his captors in the leg. 

The person who had given me the shiner threw Sam aside to the second truck like he was weightless. She was far too small to be that strong, it was inhuman. I decided to hold back a little less and raised my hands toward her, extending waves of the blue energy and raising her up into the air. She struggled to try and escape my hold, grunting and groaning as she flopped around in the air. I was about to throw her into the trees when I was tackled from behind. We skidded towards the front of the truck till the boot of one of the thugs holding Bucky down hit me in the shoulder. Another masked figure, this one I suspected to be a man, had his arms wrapped tightly around my abdomen. He flipped me over and raised his head to slam into mine. Luckily he hadn’t thought to pin my arms down and his mistake allowed me to throw them in front of my face and create a force field that even the thickest of skulls couldn’t penetrate. I looked briefly to see Sam being pinned down as well on the second truck but couldn’t free myself to go help him. 

And then, in a conflicting twist of events, a red white and blue shield came flying through the air.

As I struggled to keep the force field up and my arms locked, I made out an equally patriotic suited man throw the shield at the one who had punched me earlier. A second figure swung in from a helicopter and kicked her off the truck, leaving her clinging to the edge of the roof. The shield flew in the direction of the people holding Bucky down and hit one square in the back before bouncing back to its wielder. The guy holding me down was struck next and rolled right off of me, I sent a significantly bigger blast towards his chest that sent him flying off the back of the truck. Bucky reached down and helped me stand up, he pulled me out of the way when the shield came flying by our faces to hit his other attackers.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I panted.

John Walker stopped briefly to introduce himself to Sam, like he hadn’t been living rent free in our minds since that damned tv broadcast before sending the shield flying past Bucky and I again. As it bounced off our enemies and back towards Walker, Bucky’s metal hand snapped up to grab it only for Walker to retake it. The time for anger or sadness wasn’t now, though the forlorn expression on Bucky’s face said otherwise. I broke from him and launched myself across the gap between trucks to land near where Sam was being attacked. Bucky followed suit and we began taking out each person one by one till Sam stood and turned too fast, hitting and sending Bucky plus one of the masked thugs over the side of the truck. Sam and I turned to face our last attacker who was stalking toward us, Sam glanced over his shoulder quickly before looking back ahead. “When I say ‘now,’ you shoot up,” he ordered, “Now!” I blasted upwards and over the overhead road sign he’d known would hit our attacker. I was too high to drop down suddenly but watched as Sam touched back down on the truck to be punched off the truck, activating his wings and catching himself in the wind. I flew downwards and lined up with the side of the truck, searching frantically for Bucky while trying to dodge the cars to my left. Bucky was clinging for dear life to the underside of the truck. His attacker stomped his metal arm with his boot till Bucky lost his grip with it and it dragged along the road creating a flurry of sparks. 

“Sam, what do we do?” I yelled into my comm. “Now when I say ‘drop,’ you drop.” “Are you insane?!” I screeched, looking down at the asphalt and trying to calculate how fast I may be going. “DROP!”

Putting the most trust I ever had in Sam, I stopped the energy flow and was tackled mid-air by him. I twisted in his arms to wrap my legs around one of his and my arms around his back. Without warning, he flew us under the nearest truck before letting go of me with one arm and tackling Bucky. I readjusted my grip to have one arm around both of them. We dropped out of the air and crash-landed, rolling like a grunting and groaning wheel through a field of yellow flowers. Eventually we ceased our tumbling with Bucky on top of Sam and me to the side still clinging to both of them.

“Could have used that shield,” Bucky ground out tauntingly in Sam’s face.

“Get off of me,” Sam strained, shoving Bucky off with another loud grunt. I rolled to his other side and coughed loudly, having had the wind knocked out of me during the crash. The three of us lay on our backs trying to regain our breath, Sam and I more than Bucky but I chalked that up to the fact that he was just as strong as the people we’d just gotten our asses handed to us by. “Those were all Super Soldiers, Sam,” he stated in awe. 

“I know,” Sam confirmed, “You’re welcome, by the way.” He pushed himself up painfully on an elbow to lean over me, “Are you okay?”

I was finally starting to feel like I could get some semblance of a normal breath in. I’d have wished it was running around with AJ and Cass that would have showed me I was out of shape and not losing a fight to Super Soldiers. “‘Big Three’ my ass, Wilson,” I wheezed, making no effort to sit up yet.

“I said ‘might be’,” Sam weakly fought, “‘Might be.’ Clearly I was wrong.” 

“Will wonders never cease?” Bucky winced as he sat up, “We need to get to the airport and reformulate.” “Oh, do we now? Do we need to reformulate?” Sam mocked from the ground, “I hadn’t thought of that yet, Bucky, what an incredible-“ I groaned loudly and forced my torso up, “Dear God above, if you two don’t stop acting like twelve year olds, I’ll catch a Delta flight home.” “Good, that’s where I wanted you,” Sam reprimanded as he rose to join me, “I told you if you took some stupid risk, you were going back home and what did you do? You took off on your own towards those trucks!” “I was trying to help him,” I threw my hand out towards Bucky, “One way or another I would have gotten hurt, Sam, whether I’d have waited for you or not. And now that I’ve actually seen what we’re dealing with? No way am I going home.” I rolled onto my knees and got to my feet, my muscles aching with each movement I made to stand in front of the two men. “When you two decide to start acting like adults, I’ll meet you back at the jet.”

Holding in each groan that wanted to escape my mouth, I started my trek back towards the road, not making it very far until I heard two pairs of footsteps behind me.

We walked that way for most of the way, Sam and Bucky muttering something every once in a while to each other and me ahead of them trying to wrap my head around the situation. I had gotten myself tangled in the world of super soldiers, ones who weren’t using their advanced capabilities to save the world from one of the actual Big Three. Not only that but we’d had the displeasure of being rescued by the person the three of us had wanted to see least in the world. I had started the day out having coffee with Sarah on our back porch and by eastern standard time zone’s definition was ending it in Germany mid-afternoon with a killer bruise developing on my cheek. Whatever I had expected to come from joining Sam, it sure as hell wasn’t this.

A car honk summoned me out of my thoughts, an open roofed vehicle came up beside me and I was quick to identify the passengers. John Walker and the helicopter soldier. 

“So that didn’t go as planned, huh?” Walker attempted to make friendly conversation, specifically with Sam and Bucky but I could sense I was also welcome to answer. I didn’t cease my movements and neither did Sam and Bucky which only caused Walker to instruct the driver to get ahead of us again. “Look, at least we know what we’re up against now, huh? And we’re pretty sure it’s one of the Big Three, so…” “Aliens, androids, or wizards?” the unnamed soldier double checked with Walker, who responded that he was still almost certain.

“There’s no such thing as wizards,” Bucky grumbled from behind me, sounding like the old man he biologically was.

“Then it’s aliens, or androids,” Walker shrugged. “Or Super Soldiers,” Sam corrected.

“Shit, Super Soldiers, for real?” Walker’s sidekick asked before turning in his seat to face, “Do you believe that?” “I believe that you two don’t know how to take a hint,” I frustratedly smiled at him, “But yes, I do.”

“Wow. All right, well, then we gotta work together,” Walker said. Bucky scoffed, “That’s not happening.”

“I think we stand a much better chance if we all just-“ Bucky finally lost his patience and said the thing we all were thinking, “Just ‘cause you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.”

Walker was quick to defend himself, “Look, I’ve done the work, okay?” 

Bucky was equally as quick to prove him wrong, “You ever jump on top of a grenade?” “Yeah. Actually, I have. Four times,” Walker explained, “It’s a thing I do with my helmet. It’s a reinforced helmet. It’s a long story, but, look…It’s 20 miles to the airport, you guys need a ride.” A sudden cramp tore through my shin causing me to sharply inhale and grab the leg. Through the pain I managed to exhale and begin limping back along the path, “We’re good, thanks.”

“At least let us take her, she’s injured,” I heard Walker attempt to convince Sam and Bucky, knowing that I was probably a means to an end to get them in the car. 

I didn’t get very far before I felt Sam’s arm wrap around my waist, “C’mon…” As much as I wanted to fight him on it, I knew I wouldn’t make it more than a few steps before I was bent over again in pain. The adrenaline had worn off and my whole body was starting to ache deeply in a way that made even breathing hurt where it shouldn’t. I dropped my head in frustration and nodded, putting my arm around Sam’s shoulder to let him brace me. He helped me limp back to the car where Bucky gently handled my other side, the two of them lifted me into the vehicle where Walker and his friend tried to help me sit down. I shrugged off their unwelcome hands and used the roof’s poles to lower myself into a seat. Sam jumped in and sat on one side of me, gently lifting the leg that was really bothering me onto his lap to try and massaging my shin. Bucky climbed in on my other side and gave me a once over, trying to assess if I was in any further pain that I wasn’t letting on to.

“Okay,” Walker began as the car rocked to life again, “So we’ve got eight Super Soldiers on a bulk supply run. Why?” “They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during The Blip,” Sam explained, “Maybe they’re just trying to help.” “They had a funny way of showing it,” Bucky commented.

“That serum doesn’t exactly have a great track record,” Walker quickly looked to Bucky, “No offense.” I tried not to judge people too harshly upon first meeting them, but I had no problem deciding right away that Walker was an asshole.

“We need to figure out where they’re going,” Sam spoke up before an argument could break out, “How’d you track ‘em here? The Flag Smashers?”

“Uh, no, we didn’t track them. We tracked you, uh, through Redwing,” Walker’s friend answered, dipping his head down to avoid Sam’s stony gaze.

“You hacked my tech?” “Sorry,” Walker laughed, “It’s not exactly hacking. It’s government property,” he gestured to himself, “Kind of the government.” My lips parted and I tilted my head, ”Are you kidding me?”

“I’m sorry,” Walker extended his hand out to me, “John Walker, Captain America. And you are?” I glanced between his hand and him, “Not impressed.” He awkwardly retracted it and turned away from me to Bucky, “Does he always just stare like that?” “You get used to it,” Sam replied, suddenly he had no problem with Bucky’s habit.

“Okay, look,” Walker cleared his throat, “You know things have gotten kind of, uh…” “Chaotic,” his friend finished for him.

“Yeah. The GRC, they’re doing the best they can to get things up and running smoothly, post Blip.” “Reactivating citizenship, social security, healthcare. Basically just managing resources for the refugees who were displaced by the return.”

“The Global Repatriation Council does all that, I get that,” Sam said impatiently, “So why exactly are you two here?”

“Well, they provide the resources and we keep things stable,” the soldier answered.

“Yeah, violent revolutionaries aren’t usually good for anyone’s cause,” Walker said. “Usually said by the people with the resources,” Sam looked up from the work he was doing on my leg to look dead at Walker.

“We got a lot of resources,” he stated confidantly, “If you guys, if you joined up with us, we could-“ “No,” Bucky and I said in unison, now having agreed on two things. Walker was a phony and wizards weren’t real.

“I got mad respect for both of ya’ll,” Walker’s friend complimented, “You too, ma’am. But you were kinda getting your asses kicked till we showed up.” Bucky finally dragged his stare off of Walker, “Who are you?��� “Lemar Hoskins.” “Look, I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear, I need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins,” Sam commented.

“I’m Battlestar,” Lemar reintroduced himself, “John’s partner.” “‘Battlestar?’” Bucky echoed the ridiculous nickname, snapping his head suddenly toward the driver, “Stop the car!”

The driver obeyed and quickly halted in the middle of the road, giving Bucky the opportunity to jump out of the car. He raised his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for me to join him but I wasn’t about to leave Sam’s side. I held a hand up to him to which he responded by closing the back door and starting down the path that veered off the main road. 

“Look, I…I get it, okay? I get the attitude, I do,” Walker started, he couldn’t come close to understanding how insulted all three of us were for one uniting reason, “You don’t think that the shield was gonna end up here. I get it, Bucky,” even the call of his name wasn’t enough to make him stop, “And I’m…I’m not trying to be Steve. I’m not trying to replace Steve.” “Could’ve fooled me,” I snorted, removing my leg from Sam’s lap as he’d stopped rubbing it long ago. “I’m just trying to be the best Captain America I can be, that’s it,” Walker focused his eyes on my brother, “It’d be a whole lot easier if I had Cap’s wingmen on my side.” Sam scoffed and looked out of the corner of his eyes at me as if to make sure he hadn’t heard incorrectly. He hadn’t, and I was about two seconds away from putting my powers to good use and beating Walker with his own shield that he could never truly hold ownership of. “It’s always that last line…”

Sam climbed over me and hopped out first before helping to lower me to the ground. A defeated Walker ordered the driver to leave and we watched to make sure they actually left for good. “Torres said he’s nice?” I asked sarcastically as we resumed our familiar posture of Sam helping me walk. “Torres is young, impressionable and follows every order he’s given. Guys like Walker have a problem with anyone who doesn’t take their every word as gospel.”

“Well, your mom made us attend enough church when we were kids for me to know that right there,” I pointed back to the car that was now a dot in the distance, “Is a false prophet.” 

I trained my eyes ahead of us, Bucky hadn’t gotten too far and it looked like he had actually slowed his pace for us to catch up easier. While I was angry with the government for appointing Walker and the man himself, I knew that the pain Sam and Bucky were feeling was exponentially heavier to deal with. They’d already lost their friend and Walker was the salt being rubbed in the wound.

When we did eventually make it to the plane an hour later, I was biting back tears at how much pain I was in. Sam took notice of how I was trying to conceal them as we approached the tarmac and carried me the rest of the way. 

“I gotta check for any internal bleeding,” he said as he set me down gently on the seats of the jet, “And you’re going home.” “No, I’m not,” I moaned. “Yes, you are,” he scolded as he lifted up my shirt to the bottom of my bra so that he could get a clear view of my abdomen, “Sarah’s gonna pound my ass into the ground as it is for bringing you back bruised.” My eyes could no longer stay opened, further fluttering shut as I didn’t hear Sam state that he saw anything concerning. “Get some sleep,” he ordered, “I’ll take care of anything I find.” Just before I drifted off, I heard a second body kneel down next to Sam. “She okay?” “Yeah, she’ll be fine,” he answered Bucky, “I just should have never brought her.” 

————

When I did wake up, the plane was dark except for the minimal lighting towards the cockpit. I attempted to sit up, biting back a groan as I did. There was a blanket draped over my bottom half and my jacket was now folded underneath my head as a makeshift pillow. Sam was sleeping upright near my feet, arms crossed and snoring quietly.

“Glad to see you’re okay,” a quiet voice startled me, I turned to see it was Bucky. “A little out of my depth,” I remarked, rubbing one of my eyes, “But yeah, okay.” 

Bucky nodded and looked back down at his folded hands, for some reason the contrast of the gold and black metal meeting the pale flesh fascinated me. He must’ve sensed I was staring because he peered up at me through his lashes. I quickly looked away, “I’m guessing we’re on our way back to New Orleans.” “Baltimore, actually,” he replied.

“What’s in Baltimore?” I whispered, trying not to wake Sam. “Someone that Sam needs to meet.” “Okay,” I slowly swung my legs off the seats to properly face him, “Who’s in Baltimore?” Bucky gave me a tired look, “Just someone, you’ll meet him too.” I bristled slightly at his answer, shooting him a half smile. “You don’t trust people, do you, Barnes?”

I wouldn’t call what his lips did was a smile, but maybe a sarcastic knock off of one. “You ask a lot of questions, you know?”

“Only when people don’t give me any answers,” I fired back in a contradictorily easy tone, “Look, you don’t have to trust me. That’s fine, I’m going home after whatever surprise you have for us anyway so you won’t have to deal with me slowing you guys down anymore.” “Sam was endangering you by bringing a civilian to an Avengers level fight,” he quickly said, “That’s on him, not you. And none of us were exactly at our best today.” A supercut of the three of us each getting slapped around silly on top of the trucks played in my mind. He was definitely right, nobody could have predicted that we’d be thrown for such a loop. Not even the man pretending to be Captain America. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about Walker,” I offered as softly as I could, “I’ve watched him parade that shield around on tv for days and I’ve gotten angrier each time. Not saying it’s the same as what you’re feeling but…I’m just sorry.” Bucky didn’t respond, he actually looked away from me and back down at his hands. “You should get some more sleep, we’re still a ways out.” It was clear I wasn’t going to get anywhere with him, not that I felt any burning desire to try to get him to open up. I’d only tried out of politeness and the slight glimmer of curiosity I held when it came to what lay beneath his hardened surface. “Goodnight, Barnes,” I said, laying back down and rolling over so I didn’t have to look at him any longer.

----

A/N: Let me know what you thought and/or if you’d like to be tagged! There’s still a lot of surprises that are coming...

Safe Haven taglist: @tanyaherondale​ @wanniiieeee​ @asoftie4bucky​ @edencherries​ @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ @ttalisa​ @gcfty @withyoutilltheendofthismess​ @rinaispunk​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @felicityofbakerstreet​ @godlypotterwhodiaries​ @eternalharry​ @voguesir​ @mizz-kraziii​ @okayline​ @smellmymisunderstoodfluff @wanderin-stories​ @nicklet94 @intricate-melody​ @aesthethickks​ @stumbleonmywords​ @simplybarnes​ @21bruhs​ @lostinwonderland314​ @superbookishhufflepuff​ @themaddies-obx

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this is sappy but whatever. i wrote most of this before the season started (which is why i come off as reasonable and somewhat mentally stable about all of this) but felt appropriate to post it now as a thank you. ❤️

i have vivid memories from the night b99 was cancelled. the news came late evening my time, and i had been editing fic and checked twitter and there it was. loud and clear. i don’t remember which site it was but the picture was jake and amy with their wedding cake and that made everything feel even worse.

i remember freaking out even though i had been prepared, because those last days before the news hit on tumblr were... panicked. but i still freaked out to the extent that i ran outside in my pajama pants and hoodie and blue plastic slippers and called my mom, and then i walked up and down the streets where i lived in the darkness and cried in frustration as she tried to talk me down. i remember there were random guys with motorcycles out? but i was too hysterical to care. i’m pretty sure i screamed something to my mom about ”HOW CAN BIG BANG THEORY GET A BILLION SEASONS BUT THIS SHOW GETS CANCELLED????”

i know everyone who was in the fandom at the time has their cancellation story. what played the biggest part in mine was the fact that i felt like i hadn’t had enough time. really, i had only just become active in the fandom, only just started interacting with people on here and writing my first few fics, but i was absolutely loving it. it was giving me happiness again after a long period of emptiness and depressive feelings. when it was cancelled, what made me feel the worst was the fact that i’d had so little time – to make friends, write fic and react to episodes together. i felt deeply jealous of everyone who’d gotten more.

thinking about it coming to an end now has made me remember that night and those feelings of jealousy. because i did get more time. i got three more years. that night, i remember asking for just one, for a half, for anything, and i got three years.

and these three years have been a whirlwind of emotions and feelings and episodes and debates and discussions and gifsets and fanfic and asks and having this as my safe space while pretty much everything changed around me in the outside world, and i just want you all to know that i have never taken a single day of them for granted. this show could have been taken from me before i’d ever gotten the chance to grow with it and alongside it, and instead it was part of my life for three whole years.

i have a really, really good memory (four time quiz champion anyone? just me?okay <3), and i remember so much of it in such detail, and it's so weird to think about how long it's been when it also feels like yesterday.

i remember my first comment on peraltiago parenting experience, my first episode-related fic, the insane high after the renewal, staying up all night to watch the wedding live. i remember writing fanfiction on the beach while on vacation in greece, on a plane to berlin, at home on my parents balcony late late at night. i remember the honeymoon episode title being released, s6 starting filming again, the excitement over every little piece of news and finding about the cast directing. i remember labor fic and christmas fics and when i scroll back to pictures of my paris trip in january 2019 it's interspersed with a billion pictures of andy at the golden globes. i remember lighting my fairy lights in my little basement room and watching season 6 in bed at 2.30 am if it was a big episode, and watching it in the morning before fridays in high school most days. i remember writing post-ep fics during classes and on my phone on subways and trains. i remember the s7 news, and the casecation nerves and debates, and fucking kissgate. being named "the class amy santiago" by my friends when we graduated and getting a little silver paper plate to show for it. i remember the first fic exchange and inventing julian and simon santiago and i remember meeting @johnny-and-dora and eating wagamamas in manchester and talking about how simon santiago was DEFINITELY on the stairs and buying a little fake plant that i named andy plantberg (he's still in a box somewhere). i remember writing fic during slow hours in the ice cream shop i worked at. moving and putting up my framed b99 poster in my own apartment (very much still up). finding out about trying and everyone going fucking crazy. infertility fic. melissa's pregnancy news. s7 promo and standing outside my job the very first day and texting siân "AMY HAS TO PEE!!!!!???" because that was in the promo and we knew there were pregnancy tests involved in the first episode. the crazy happiness of s7 finally premiering. everyone going crazy about jake and amy deciding to start trying and how i could quote the scene verbatim the next few days. the week leading up to trying, what turned out to be the last normal week before the pandemic. the fucking MESS i was after that. the following week and ding dong and crying with happiness. being dizzy with hyperfixation joy the following day and barely feeling aware of the covid pandemic for the first few days because i was just thinking about jake and amy having a baby. getting through the first few weeks mostly because of b99. admiral peralta and finding out we were having a BOY and not even being disappointed even though the headcanon had been the opposite for years because it was perfect. the iconic b99 quizzes. lights out and mac being born. somehow managing 475 days before season 8, coping together when we got the news about the final season, watching the cast do their final day of filming. the first stream being interrupted by a storm warning and cutting out several minutes because of course. getting to see parents peraltiago and MAC and the insane speed with which those few seconds were giffed. more b99 quizzes. the vow renewal. the finale.

i remember all of it and so much more and as much as my heart is breaking, i’m trying to remind myself that i could have gotten none of this.

brooklyn nine-nine has been such an important part of my life. and it always, always will be, forever. i could have lost it all that night, and instead i got three more years. if i'd known that when i was walking the streets outside my house in the darkness in complete panic, i would have cried with happiness.

so thank you. all of you. for everything. ❤️❤️❤️ for the friendships, the joy, the asks, the debates, the fic response, EVERYTHING. whether we've shared three years or one or less, just know that i'm so grateful.

have some random pictures i found and screenshots from my private instagram (which is inactive so don't bother) from when i started this hyperfixation. jesus lmao 😭😭😭😭 i am less insane now. no i'm not. but i express it less on instagram.

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Tale of the Nine Tailed: Explanation of Lee Rang’s Death and Lee Yeon’s Ending Scene

Well folks...here we are once again. I did say that I would not write another TOTNT post unless there was anything worth discussing in the finale. I know many of you may feel utterly devastated or somewhat confused by how TOTNT ended, but I hope my post will be able to comfort you somehow. Anyways, let’s put on our thinking caps one last time for TOTNT!

Lee Rang’s Death

One of the biggest complaints many have had is the death of Lee Rang. Many said that the writer did him dirty while others wished that Lee Yeon and Ji Ah would’ve died instead. However, when we looked at his character arc’s as a whole, his death was justified. We mustn’t forget that he murdered hundreds possibly thousands in wake of his anger. 

Yes, he did do some good towards the end of his life such as taking in Yuri and Kim Soo, but that shouldn’t discredit all the atrocious acts he had committed in the past. Saving the life of two people doesn’t make up for all of the lives he had taken. Additionally, it is noted that Lee Rang did also assist the Imoogi’s group to bring the Imoogi back to life which caused for a slew of horrible events to occur in the first place. 

In the end, it was Lee Rang’s turn to sacrifice for the one he loved. Everything in TOTNT is cyclic if you think about it. First Ah Eum died to save Lee Yeon then Lee Yeon died to save Ji Ah. Therefore, it was only logical that it was Lee Rang’s turn to die for the one he loved which was Lee Yeon. 

Everything in life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, what matters is what you do despite being dealt a bad fate. Both Lee Yeon and Ah Eum/Ji Ah weren’t dealt with a particularly good fate, but yet they still remained good people. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for Lee Rang. Yes, he was dealt with a bad fate with having been born with a mother who didn’t want him, but he was also lucky because he had been taken in by a brother who greatly cherished him. Instead of appreciating the time he shared with Lee Yeon and remaining a good person even after the events of Lee Yeon leaving for the Samcheon River, Lee Rang still decided to take a turn for the worst. 

Over and over again, Lee Rang had escaped the punishment he so rightly deserved. For example, even after killing those villagers, Lee Yeon spared his life. Lee Rang had been basically living off on borrowed time. In a way, Lee Rang was lucky that during that borrowed time he was able to resolve the misunderstanding he had with Lee Yeon as well as have a small family of his own. Finally, if there’s anything TOTNT has taught us, it’s that if something is the will of the afterlife judges, it will be carried out eventually. One can’t escape their punishment.

In my opinion, things could have gone a lot worse for Lee Rang in the end. Meaning he could have been reborn as a shrimp. Instead, the afterlife judges granted him reincarnation as a boy who had a mother who cared for him and granted him his last wish which was to meet his brother again. He got all of wishes fulfilled. Thus, it was a satisfying ending for Lee Rang. 

Update 12/07/2020: Does Lee Yeon Meeting Reincarnated Lee Rang Indicate Many Years Have Passed?

No, it doesn’t. The team probably wanted to use the same child actor (Joo Won Lee; DOB: 05/03/2011) as to imply that Lee Rang had been successfully reincarnated. Sure, they could’ve used someone who was a few months old, but how then would Lee Yeon recognize Lee Rang ? Remember that Lee Yeon only met Lee Rang when he was around 9 years old. There would be no way for Lee Yeon to recognize what a few months old Lee Rang could’ve looked like. Get it ? Again, Lee Yeon meeting reincarnated Lee Rang happened in 2021!

Why Does Lee Yeon Still Have His Gumiho Powers?           

Initially, when I first watched this I was beyond shocked, left confused, and was rethinking my opinion of Lee Yeon as a good person. However, once I watched it with subs and then did a little research into how Gumihos can become human, the ending scene made sense. Again, everyone should’ve taken Jo Bo Ah’s advice of looking up myths and see to how they pertain to whatever happened in TOTNT.

Anyways, in legends, Gumihos can become human in the following ways:

1)    Refrain from killing and eating humans for 1000 days

2)    The human who found out a Gumiho’s true nature, must tell no one of its secret for 10 years

3)    Over a period of 100 days (other versions say 1000 days or ~3 years), Kumiho must not be detected by the human they are married to.  If the Gumiho fails on this quest, they will lose any chance of becoming human and will be a Gumiho for 1000 years

4)    Gumiho must consume the livers of 1000 humans over 1000 years. If they do not do this by the end of 1000 years, the Gumiho will dissolve in foam/bubbles

In particular, the ending scenes was in reference to #3. When Lee Yeon had came back to life, he was still technically a Gumiho hence why he could enter the Office of the Afterlife. I know you might ask well why didn’t Taluipa or Shin Ju sense he was still a fox? Because at the same time Lee Yeon was human, but only during the day or nights when there wasn’t a full moon (read further below for an explanation). Additionally, Lee Yeon probably didn’t tell Shin Ju because he didn’t want there to be any possibility that information would get leaked to Ji Ah. Better safe than sorry was Lee Yeon’s personal philosophy!  

Although, Lee Yeon did come pretty close to being discovered as a Gumiho when he let it slip that he knew that their child would be a daughter. This all goes back to the intro in Ep 1 where it is said that Gumihos have the “ability to see miles ahead”. Luckily for Lee Yeon, he convincingly tricked Ji Ah and played it off as he was just saying weird things.

Until his 100 days were up, Lee Yeon had to keep his Gumiho nature hidden from the only person who mattered which was Ji Ah. Let’s be honest here, it’s really hard to trick Ji Ah so Lee Yeon had to be super careful around her. Usually in legends, Gumihos fall short of reaching the 100 days because they are discovered by their betrothed. During Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional phase of becoming human, a situation arose that could’ve have caused Ji Ah to discover that Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho aka Mr Samjae entering into Ji Ah’s life. 

This caused a problem because whatever misfortune befell on Ji Ah it would also inadvertently affect Lee Yeon too. Meaning that if Lee Yeon didn’t get rid of the Samjae, it could cause Ji Ah the misfortune of finding out Lee Yeon still was a Gumiho, thus ruining his plan of ever becoming human. 

The only way anyone could tell Lee Yeon was still a Gumiho was to have seen him during a full moon. This was in reference to how in legends, werewolves (also in the same canine family as a fox) can only undergo transformation into a wolf when there was a full moon (symbolistic of metamorphosis). So while in the transitional state of Gumiho and human, Lee Yeon was able to take advantage of there being a full moon to be able to transform into a Gumiho. Subsequently, Lee Yeon then used his Gumiho abilities to rid of Mr. Samjae Spirit. Thus, Lee Yeon eliminated a potential threat that could have caused Ji Ah to find out his Gumiho nature before the 3 months of remaining undetected was completed.

Flash forward approximately 3-4 years later after Lee Yeon’s face off with the Samjae, Lee Yeon is now seen as having been successful at becoming a full human as well as having daughter with Ji Ah as seen here in the following pictures (family picnic). My only complaint is that the production/editing team ended up deciding to not include the following scene. I do not know whether it was their decision or the writer’s to not include this. There could be numerous reasons why such as they had wanted to leave the possibility of there being a season 2 or there was limited time allotted for the length of ep 16 or the writer had wanted to leave an open ending. Whatever the reason, I do hope we will eventually show this to us. In doing so, they would give so many of us the proper closure we needed for TOTNT!

Side note, it looks like Lee Yeon and Ji Ah did end up introducing their daughter to her adoptive grandparents. Awww!

Updated 12/07/2020: Timeline of Samjae + Lee Yeon’s Transitional Period

There were also a bunch of questions concerning when exactly the whole scenes with Ji Ah and Lee Yeon had occurred. This occurred in 2021.

Samjae is believed to occur over a three-year period, and follows calculations based on the twelve zodiac signs. The first of the three years is known as deulsamjae (Kor. 들삼재, lit. entering the three calamities), the second, nuulsamjae (Kor. 누울삼재, lit. middle of calamities), and the third, nalsamjae (Kor. 날삼재, exiting the three calamities). The first year in this three-year cycle is supposed to be the most unfortunate. 

Source: https://folkency.nfm.go.kr/en/topic/detail/4151

So doing a little math, one will be able to see what years the Samjae entered (deulsamjae), remained (nuulsamjae), and then exited (nalsamjae). So the Samjae entered into Ji Ah’s life in 1994, 2003, 2012, and 2021. The cycle of every 9 years refers to the time period from one Deulsamjae year to the next (not every 9 years from her year of birth). For example, 1994 + 9 = 2003, 2003 + 9 = 2012, and 2012 + 9 = 2021.

What the show was trying to convey is that when Mr. Samjae came into Ji Ah’s life, it also coincided at the same time as Lee Yeon’s 3 months transitional period. Additionally, there were some who asked, “Aren't we to assume that many years have passed because Lee Yeon did say first root canal, first picnic, first snowfall, etc ?”. No, I took that scene as him mentioning things he either already did or will eventually experience.

Anyways, I really didn’t think I needed to point all of this out because I had assumed you all would’ve put on your thinking caps by now!

Last Remarks.

I hope that this post was able to resolve any confusion many of you may have had about the last episode. The writer did truly keep us on our toes until the very end. But with a little research into myths as well as analyzing everything as a whole, one should’ve been able to understand where the writer was coming from. Again, I want to give a big thanks to the cast, crew, and writer for all their hard work to give us TOTNT!

[kaeyas-beloved]

Be You {Leviathan x Reader}

Leviathan x Reader (They/Them) || Obey Me!

Warning(s): None (Well, actually I make Levi bully Mammon for less than a paragraph)

Note: This was a request I received from someone on Wattpad!

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Finally, Leviathan’s done it. It’s been a long three days, hours upon hours having been poured into this playthrough. 

“Woop woop! Aren’t I the best!” he praised himself, smiling wide. He’s skipped meals, pushed assignments to a later date and avoided any outside interactions to finish this game. His sight may be blurry and his limbs numb but if those were the sacrifices he had to make to go full completionist then it was all worth it. Now, time to celebrate a well deserved win.

“I think this calls for some of Ruri-chan’s celebratory season 3 limited edition candy and-!”

A chorus of knocks on his door immediately snuffed out his joy. Levi scowled, turning to glare at his door from his chair, it’s gotta be Mammon. The third born is absolutely positive that it’s his scummy older brother - it always is - back yet again to mooch more money off him for a trip to the casino. The usual slander he and his brothers would throw at the second born was on the tip of his tongue, ready to fire at will. 

“Hey Levi? You there? It’s me....”

A voice that definitely doesn’t belong to the second born piping up and Levi, halfway through spouting the first syllable, shuts up all together. That’s his normie. A weight presses on his heart: he was just about to yell and insult his Henry… 

Clearing his throat in hopes of gaining some kind of composure (all previous anger having diminished) the usual “What’s the password?” came out in a stutter. The demon was only acutely aware of his heart beat. How it skipped periodically. How it raced like he himself just ran a marathon. Levi waits a moment for the human to finish reciting the TSL excerpt. His hands begin to shake, his palms exuding profuse amounts of sweat. Gah! Why was he so nervous? Yeah, he’s aware that he’s just some gross shut-in otaku but he shouldn’t be this anxious! It’s not like this is the first time the exchange student has hung out in his room... alone... with him…

“Yo Levi?”

“Yes MC?”

“You think you could open the door now? Please?” Snapped back to reality, Levi hastily opened the door, finding himself regretting it soon after.

“I, uh, MC? What do you…?” his voice trailed off, orange gradient eyes locked on their garments. Immediately he sputtered, taking a step back. A bright scarlet coated his pale cheeks. Levi tried to hide it with his hand, though it was proven useless. The sea demon's at a toss up; should he screech? Slam the door shut? Combust all together!? At the rate he’s going, number three is looking pretty probable.

On the other end of this exchange, the human stood almost timidly out in the hall, fingers fiddling with one another while their eyes darted anywhere but at the man in front of them. The words of the fifth born rang in their ears:

“You absolutely have to wear this dear! My brother would surely fall head over heels for you, even more so than he already is!”

Oh whyyyyy did they trust him? Cause he had knowledge in fashion and love? Yeah, that was it. Still, if this turns south Asmo is going to get a lecture worse than any Lucifer could ever give… Damn, they really should’ve never let the lust demon shoo them into his private bathroom and make them change into this girly outfit. 

And it hit them all at once: Levi doesn’t like it, what they’re wearing. What if he never talks to them after this? Maybe if they leave now then there will still be a chance they can forget about this.

Time went on slowly, like people who walk through mud are, and MC just about tuck tail and ran, what they had planned and gained courage for be damned. 

Levi had other plans though. 

Only now registering that the two were standing out in the open for all to see, in a blind and desperate attempt to save himself and the human from embarrassment, the third born latched onto their wrist, yanking them into the safety of his room. Unfortunately, demon strength is a funny thing and Levi had handled them with more force than he meant to, the human crashing into his chest - hard. 

Perhaps it was instinct -- a need to protect the fragile being within his grasp -- but the demon's arm found purchase around their form, pulling them almost impossibly closer as they tipped. The pair, balance long gone, toppled over, landing with a thud.

Somehow, just like in all the romance anime he’s watched, Levi found himself hovering over them, arms propped on either side of their head. Their noses brushed, both staring frozen into each other's eyes. It wasn’t everyday that either of them were this close to one another, the exception being when the duo falls asleep playing video games. God, with this kind of proximity he was sure that the normie could hear how fast his meek heart was pounding. If this went on any longer he might actually die.

“Levi?” They whispered, their voice so quiet that he almost missed the call of his name. He however did catch their whisper and tensed up before coming back to the here and now, catching sight of the ‘what’ that led to their current position. Standing, Levi’s face burned hotter than ever before.

‘It was all because of them,’ he thought, turning away turning away with tense shoulders as he still tries to mask the red that licked all the way up to his ears. ‘It’s always their fault when I start to feel like I do now!’

“S-stupid n-normie! Why are you even wearing that?” he asked, chancing a glance over his shoulder. Levi did have to admit… they looked kinda cute in those clothes… and it looked like something Ruri-chan would wear too… 

Gah! No no no focus Levi!

The ‘normie’ didn’t answer right away, instead raising to their feet and opting to grab a bag from beside the door. That wasn’t there before. 

“Asmo…” they sighed, turning back to face the demon, nervousness swirling within them. Now or never, “Asmo said you’d like it if I wore something like this” So this is Asmo’s doing? Damn him… “Anyway, here, take it.”

“Wha-?” A shimmering gift bag the same colour of the water Henry his goldfish swam in was thrust into his hands, whatever he was about to say dying in his throat. 

A present? For him? Oh why must a no good otaku like him have to go through such an intimate endeavor???? He just can’t take it! 

Then again, this was like that one scene from season 2 ep. 22 of this anime he binged: I Forget Important Dates all the time which causes me to get into really awkward situations. This time I forgot about my Birthday and my Crush handed me a bag before confessing their love for me!

So-! Spurred on by fictional characters and MC’s urging “go on, open it”, Levi tore the tape, presented with his spontaneous gift: a popular multiplayer game from the human world; one near impossible to get in Devildom.

“WHAOOO!” MC couldn’t help but think how much he’s acting like a kid on Christmas, the notion cute in their opinion. The human stood still for a couple minutes, allowing their friend to rant and gush over the game (and how cool they were for even acquiring it).

“But…” the purple haired demon calmed down, “why did you suddenly give me this?” What? Did he not know what today was?

“It’s… it is your birthday isn’t it!?” Don’t tell them Asmo lied to them about Levi’s birthday!

Levi pulled out his phone, his eyes widening to the size of saucers, “No, it is my birthday,” he assured. With all the gaming he was doing he must've failed to noticed, which is strange considering the last time his special day drew near he practically counted down the days. 

“MC.” He got their attention, looking them right in the eye, his words and actions portraying a sureness and sincerity, “Thank you and…” As quick as lightning strikes the ground, the human had themselves pulled flush against Levi once more, his head resting on their shoulder and nose buried in the crook of their neck. His hair, so soft and fluffy, left a ticklish sensation on their skin.

“And about what you said before. With Asmo. I do like what you’re wearing but…” he tightens his hold, “I like you just the way you are. I know you don’t usually dress like this and I want nothing more than for you to be comfortable, like how you make me. If that means dressing tomboy-ish then so be it. I want you to be you: the human only you can be: my Henry.” 

“I’m glad you feel that way…” They smiled, arms wrapping around his torso. They hope their gratitude is able to shine through in the hug, “Now, ya wanna play your new game?”

“Yes!” He smiled, pulling back and raising his hand. They return the grin, suppressing a chuckle seeing as the demon reminded them of the YES demoji. “Oh, but um! Would you like to change first? It’s not that I don’t like seeing you dressed like that or anything but like I said I want you to be comfortable but also I don’t think my heart can take it anymore… wait that’s not what I meant!” That made them chuckle though.

“Do I have to?” They teased, enjoying the reaction they got out of the third born. Levi gulped, ducking his head while whispering a small no. “Then maybe I’ll stay like this a little longer. It is your birthday after all.” Tugging the envy demon towards their usual gaming spot they let Levi set up the game before the two plopped down in their spots.

“Oh and Levi?” He hummed, tilting his head, the light of the screen illuminating the side of his face. They hugged him once more, “Happy Birthday”

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[Masterlist]

Thank you for reading!