#i got an ask about matt in this ep and i wanted to talk but i deleted it by accident

[lollytea]

I love this fucking thing

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter sixteen: "What do you mean Wheels up?"

Summary: Stephen's death and Emily's kidnapping are a hard blow to the team. Spencer and his wife haven't slept in over 48 hours and fighting is the only way to go, apparently.  Word count: 6.074 Warnings: Cursing, spoilers of Criminal Mind Ep S13 01, angst A/N: The Reids need a break from everything. And no matter wht you say, the "wheels up" scene is the cringiest moment in the entire show. Try to prove me wrong. 

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(Y/N)’s point of view

We waited for a few minutes in the hospital hall until our friends got there. We had called their family and let them know what was going on. Spencer seemed to be in severe pain, and there were too many reasons: lack of sleep, stress, hospital lighting… the fear our friend had been hurt, Emily was missing and Stephen was dead. My husband was clearly having post-traumatic stress syndrome, with no time to deal with any emotion he might have to face.

It got worse after talking to Rossi. He was refusing treatment until he spoke to Luke, Spencer, and me.

- “First, you, go through my pants pockets and find my keys. There's a little one there in a file cabinet in my office. You following me?”

The man had hit his head, was still bleeding, and looked at us like he was about to give us the secret location of the holy grail.

- “Yes, I’m following.”- Luke said, holding the keys.

- “Inside, there's Chicago Bears season tickets. When you get them, you call Matt Simmons. I promised him those tickets.”

So Rossi hit his head harder than we had anticipated. We tried to convince him he was under any drug effect, but he got so mad he called us “assclowns” and forced us to go to the BAU and do as he asked us. It was the only way he would accept treatment.

- “I can’t arrest him.”- Spencer said as we reached the bullpen. Luke and I turned to him as he covered his eyes with one hand for the hundredth time in the last half hour.

- “What are you talking about?”- Alvez asked him.

- “Scratch.”- my husband explained and made an effort to look at us- “The second I see his face, I am going to kill him.”

- “Reid, come on! No one could blame you, we all wanna end that bastard.”- Luke tried to ease the mood, but I knew Spencer meant it. He wanted to add something, but he covered his eye with one hand with a painful expression. I wanted to hold him and take him away from all that pain, but we needed to help our friends.

- “What's wrong with me?”- Spencer whispered as I kissed his hand. Neither of us had rested a lot, and his crazy hair showed how little time he had had to take care of himself in the last 48 hours.

- “I’m pretty sure it’s PTSS. You’ve been in hyper-vigilant mode for the last 48 hours, we haven’t slept, eaten or rested, and shit keeps going south.”- I replied and rubbed his arms. - “I would suggest you take some time off to deal with this, but we both know…”

- “I don't have time to process my emotional state.”- Spencer added and I just nodded.

- “That's exactly when you make time, right? You ask for help. There's no shame in that.”- Luke tried to help, but Spencer’s attention was lost.

- “Rossi's office.”

- “Yeah. I'll handle that.”- Alvez tried to continue talking, but Spencer stopped him as he started walking away.

- “No. There's someone in Rossi's office.”

My husband was right, Penelope and Agent Simmons were in the room when we walked in, and they immediately gesticulated us not to make a sound and to give them our phones. Once they put them in a little wooden box filled with Cuban cigars Rossi had on his desk, Pen finally explained:

- “Ok. Now that we are secure, I got that for Rossi last year. Not only is it a cigar case, but it's also a Faraday case. It blocks all radio and cell signals. I think Scratch might be listening to us with our cell phones, even when they're off.”

I felt naked as soon as I heard that. What had Scratch heard…

- “That explains why Rossi was so cagey in the hospital.”- Luke added- “All right. Let's find these tickets.”

But as soon as he opened the drawer, all we could see were files about Scratch.

- “What is this?”- I asked as I grabbed one and went through the pages.

- “Stephen was brought on board for one reason. That was to catch Scratch.”- Simmons explained- “That is his entire investigation into him. He kept all his records off-site, updating Prentiss and Rossi through hard copies.”

- “If it's off the cloud, Scratch can't hack it.”- Spencer added, making it sound so obvious it hurt I didn’t realize it sooner.

- “Have you guys read it?”- I asked immediately.

- “No. Prentiss ordered it compartmentalized, eyes-only clearance, but she also felt there should be at least one failsafe who wasn't part of the BAU who knew about it just in case of emergency. That's why Garcia called me.”

Emily fucking Prentiss was the best, no questions asked.

- “All right. Let's dig in. I mean, this may be our only chance at stopping this bastard.”- Luke grabbed a few files and started passing them around. I followed him and got ready to read and find my best friend. We had to bring her back and make Scratch pay for what he had done.

Spencer’s point of view

It wasn’t a good day, let's put it that way. The fact Stephen was dead and that it could have been anyone on the team was too painful to start analyzing. It got real. I had always been, but it reminded us we could go through the same any day on the field.

Monica, Stephen’s wife, called Luke and asked him to go with her to the hospital to see her husband for the last time. It broke my heart to even think that that could be my wife, visiting my corpse.

But I didn’t have time to think about it. We had to find Prentiss.

I knew my wife was trying to focus as well, but tears kept falling down her cheeks as she read the files from Stephen’s investigation. I wanted to comfort her, but again, we had no time to process, to feel sorry, to feel at all. We were against the clock, and every minute Prentiss was away was a minute I knew she was being tortured.

All I could do was read file after file and make a major effort to find a lead.

Until I did.

- “What? Prentiss texted Hotch?”- (Y/N) asked as she read the print I had found. Garcia stood by her side in the conference room and read the paper over and over again, still not believing what I had found.

- “According to Stephen's documentation, yes.”- I replied.

- “It must have been a coordinated attempt to share intel. Would Hotch have exposed himself like this?”- Simmons asked, looking confused.

- “No!”- me and my wife yell at the same time.

- “And neither would she!”- I added and continued talking as I wrote the last message on the board. - “I mean, she wouldn't rely on a hackable app, and she sure as hell wouldn't write, “A.H.,” in a text. That defeats the purpose of compartmentalizing the investigation.”- I rambled, starting to feel very irritated by the slow pace we had figuring out where Prentiss was.

- “It was a smoke screen.”- Garcia whispered, shocked.

- “Prentiss knew they had to triple watch their backs because Scratch has always had eyes and ears everywhere.”- (Y/N) added and crossed her arms on her chest, looking upset and tired as well.

- “Stephen had a background in counterintelligence. He must have designed this. He faked the Hotch side of the conversation to entice Scratch to make a move.”- I nodded at Simmon’s words as I turned and looked at my team.

- “The size and scale of which indicate desperation, a desperation he hasn't shown after a year of hiding, so why now?”

My question hung in the air for a few seconds, until (Y/N) said.

- “It’s clear that the last text hit a note on him. We know Scratch has been obsessed with Hotch ever since the very beginning. He has to be trying to get his location from Em.”- that didn’t help keep me calm at all, but I knew she was right.

- “(Y/N) is right, A.H. is a pretty big red flag. Maybe that's what brought him out.”- Simmons added.

- “Well, they used Hotch's initials in other texts before.”- Garcia suggested- “Maybe that’s not it…”

- “Then they found something else, something they knew would rattle him.”- I turned to read the message again when my wife asked.

- “What’s B-cap?

- “Geography maybe. I mean, it's mentioned in relevance to DC.”- I heard Simmom’s theory, but it didn’t feel right. To make it worse, my eye was still bothering me, I was feeling anxious and I couldn’t focus.

- “Maybe it’s a code name for a partner.”- (Y/N) suggested.

- “I can't see it.”- I whispered, annoyed. That shouldn’t be that hard. There had to be something there to help me decode those letters, and I couldn’t see it. It was so frustrating and irritating I had to deal with it alone before I snapped in front of my team. And my wife.

- “Hey, no. Why don't we kick it over to the team? Maybe they can suss out…”- Penelope was still talking when I started pushing her and Simmons out of the room.

- “No. No time. Get out!”

- “What?”- Garcia looked at me like I had just asked the most random thing on earth, but I kept gently pushing her and Simmons out.

- “Get out. Sorry. You too, chipmunk, please.”

- “What? Why me?”- the way (Y/N) stared at me was both hurt and confused.

- “I'm sorry, but get out.”- I kissed (Y/N)’s forehead as Garcia grabbed her computer, Matt took the folders and I closed the door behind them.

I needed to be alone and focused. I was exhausted, but there was no time to rest. Prentiss was in danger and I had to make an effort and figure out that message as fast as possible.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I stared at Spencer pacing in the conference room for almost an hour. It was killing me because I knew how much he was pushing himself to get the right answer. He felt responsible, he was taking the burden all alone, and it was painful to know he wouldn’t even let us help.

- “Did he even sleep?”- Garcia asked and held my hand, trying to comfort me.

- “No more than an hour. Morgan stopped by with donuts.”

- “Yeah, he told me he wanted to catch up with him.”

- “I didn’t get time to hug him. I really need a hug from Morgan right now.”- I whispered and Pen held my hand tighter.

- “This I might be able to help with.”- Matt Simmons said and pointed at the text on the screen- “Prentiss’ last text had to do with Honduras. Scratch's last known sighting before tonight was Honduras.”

- “Right, and we thought Scratch fled there.”

- “Right. Prentiss asked the IRT to contact our Central American sources just to see if we could find anything. Now, we never did. We also never stopped to ask why Scratch was in Honduras in the first place.”

- “Clearly, not for the baleadas.”- I whispered and stood up. I needed to move to keep my head focused because I was both falling asleep and losing my mind sitting there.

- “Reid will figure this out.”- Garcia said with such conviction I felt hopeful for a second.- “He's really amazing at this kind of thing.”

That was the moment my husband picked to toss a book against the window, shocking us all. He was like a madman inside that room, with crazy hair and crazy weary eyes. I ran over and stormed into the conference room with Matt and Garcia. But before I could ask Spencer what the hell had happened, he started talking:

- “B-cap is short for Banisteriopsis caapi.”

- “What the hell just happened?”- I asked, but he ignored me and continued explaining.

- “It's a plant, specifically a hallucinogen that's found in a tea called ayahuasca.”

- “We worked on a couple of those cases, I think. If I remember, it's like peyote.”- Simmons added and my husband nodded and continued talking.

- “Yeah, in multiple ways. They're similar legally in that taking them is considered a religious practice, and pharmacologically, they're similar in that both drսg cause you to hallucinate intense, geometric patterns and vomit a lot.”

- “Ok. What does this have to do with Scratch?”- Garcia questioned, still looking shaky after the book-throwing scene.

- “Well, Scratch has a cocktail of disassociative drugs to induce delusions, but a mathematical mind like his would always be looking for ways to tweak and improve the formula.”- my husband explained.

- “Ok, so he wanted to get this B- cap and use it against his victims?”- I asked him and he nodded.

- “Exactly.”

- “So he went to Honduras to look for it. He then brought it back to DC to experiment with it. Stephen and Emily came to the same conclusion and tried to pretend like they were hot on his trail.”- Simmons summarized Spencer’s idea as my husband came up with a plan:

- “We need to track down all practitioners of the ceremony in the district... Shamans, gurus, overnight religions that just hung their first shingle. He could be using one of their volunteers as a partner, either witting or unwitting.”

Penelope, Matt, and I nodded, but none of us moved. Spencer frowned and stared at us confused.

- “What?”- he asked us.

- “You threw a book at a window. It was jarring.”- Garcia whispered, still shocked.

- “It took me sixty minutes to deduce what should have taken me sixty seconds, and if Emily dies because I was too slow, I'll be throwing a lot more than books.”

And just like that, my husband stormed out of the conference room. But I wasn’t gonna let him throw a tantrum and make me feel bad about it. So I followed him.

- “Stop it!”- I whispered/yelled and grabbed his hands to force him to turn and look at me, as he reached his desk in the bullpen.

- “What? Working? I don't think it’s a good idea, all things considered.”- Spencer hadn’t snapped at me at work in a very long while, though it didn’t surprise me. He was exhausted, but so was I, and I wasn’t throwing things around.

- “Stop trying to do this on your own, Spencer! We are a fucking team!”- I raised my voice ‘cos I didn’t have any more patience to deal with him.

- “I know we are, but I need to focus! This is the kind of thing I am good at, and I am failing!”- Spencer’s voice was hard, he was almost yelling and I was glad the bullpen was mostly empty.

- “You are failing at being a team member! We are all worried sick about Em, not just you!”

- “Don’t you think I know that?! I am worried about JJ, Rossi, and Tara too! And they are not here to help us solve this case, so it’s just us two, who have barely slept or eaten, plus Garcia and Simmons!”

- “Exactly! Not just you! So fucking let us help!!”

- “I need to do this!”- Spencer argued and I nearly lost it.

- “Why don’t you take a trip to Mexico behind my back again then, maybe that would help!”

- “Oh! you were waiting for a chance to throw that to my face!!”

- “Stop it!”- Penelope grabbed our hands and forced us to stop yelling at each other.- “I love you both, and I know you are not at your best, so please, for your family’s sake, stop arguing right now!”.

- “Can you tell him he is being a jerk?”- I replied and Penelope nearly gasped. - “He is! You know he is!”

- “So are you!”- my husband argued and Garcia was now officially shocked.

- “You are making me act like a jerk!”

- “Time out! Both of you!”- Garcia raised her voice- “You are going to sit in the conference room and fix your problems while me and Simmons are going to find the ayahuasca dealer who is covering Scratch, and we won’t talk to you until you have talked like adults and not the annoying brats you are being!”

- “We don’t have time for this!”- Spencer argued as Garcia started pushing us to the conference room.

- “Then make time for this!”- she said and slammed the door behind us. She locked us there, forgetting (or overlooking) the other door in the room, wide open.

- “This is crazy, we should be after Scratch!”- Spencer complained as I sat at the conference table and stared at him, pacing back and forth the room.

- “We? Don’t you mean you, Spencer?”- I crossed my arms on my chest and stared at him as his face changed.

- “Why are you making such a big deal about it? I am good at figuring things out! Period!”- my husband stared at me, crazy hair, weary eyes, exhausted, and angry. I was sorry I was being mean, but I couldn’t hold it. He was in so much pain he kept covering his right eye with one hand, still struggling with his vision. And yet, he refused to stop and ask for help.

- “I know you are good at it! You are good at fucking everything, Spencer! But that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out all alone! You can’t just throw us out of a room ‘cos you need to think, and you can’t fucking slam books at a window and not expect us to be worried!! What the hell were you thinking?!”

I stood up and waited for his answer. He looked at me and simply raised his arms, like asking me a question.

- “You know this is not our regular case! This is not a normal situation! We are worried, frustrated, and exhausted!”

- “Spencer! I know that!”

- “Then why are you nagging me?”

- “Because I am tired of feeling you keep pushing me away when things get hard like I can’t handle shit!”- I yell and finally take the anger off my chest- “You don’t ask for my help! You wanna solve everything on your own! I know you wanna keep me safe, but it’s so frustrating ‘cos I know I can help you and you don’t fucking let me! Ever!”

- “You know I trust you! You are an amazing SSA!”- Spencer tries to explain, but I don’t let him go on. I groan in frustration and shake my head.

- “Not here! At home! You are your own island! I know things haven’t been at their best lately! I know having your mom has been challenging and I feel incredibly guilty because I told you it was ok to bring her home with us! But I just want to help! And you never let me in!”

- “(Y/N), I’ve had to deal with my mother alone my entire life!”- Spencer yelled like it was groundbreaking news.

- “Not for the last ten years or more, Spencer!”- I replied and felt almost insulted.- “I’ve supported you, loved you, and helped you with Diana since we were friends! I’ve loved her since we met!”

- “But she is not your mom! She is my problem! My burden!”- Spencer’s voice shook as he finished that sentence, and covered his eyes one more time.

- “We are not married just to fuck and raise our kids! We are married to share the good and bad things! I’ve told you a million times, that we are in this together! Whatever “This” is! Stop pushing me away or I’m actually gonna go away! Is that what you want?”

Spencer stared at me after I finished shouting. He seemed hurt, not angry, not upset, he looked at me as if I had just shot him, and he had never seen it coming.

- “I love you with my life, but we can’t go on like this.”- I whispered and took a few steps closer to him. Enough yelling, we really had to start moving in that conversation and fix things- “This whole situation showed us how much work we still need.”

- “(Y/N), all I’ve ever wanted to do was to protect you.”- my husband sounded so wounded as he said those words, and I felt guilty for having that conversation, though I knew we needed it.

- “I know, but ironically, you keep hurting me in the process.”- I replied and took another few steps closer to him. He held my hands and rested them against his face, cradling his cheeks.

- “I know I’m stupid when it comes to feelings… I’m sorry.”

- “Were you planning to tell me about Mexico or did you actually think you could keep it from me forever?”- I asked him and he took a deep breath before replying.

- “I really wanted to tell you. I've felt like shit since it happened.”

- “Did it just happen once?”

- “Yes. I planned a second trip but never made it.”

- “Why didn’t you? You felt guilty?”

- “That, and the kids got sick that weekend. I could never leave you alone with them.”- Spencer confessed and he closed his eyes as if the thought brought him pain. He looked ashamed. - “I’m so sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around Spencer and he held me so tight against his body, I had trouble breathing for a second.

- “I hate when Cat Adams gets into my head.”- I whispered against his chest and my husband kissed the top of my head.

- “It was my fault, I let her get too close this time.”

- “Fuck yeah you did, she even sat on your lap.”- I looked at him and he caressed my cheeks carefully and slowly as he stared into my eyes.

- “I did what I could to get my mother home safe.” - Spencer’s voice was so apologetic my chest tightened as I heard him.

- “I know… but it doesn’t mean it was nice to hear, or watch.”

- “You know you are the only woman on earth for me.”- he added quickly as he raised my chin with his index finger, forcing me to lock eyes with him.

- “Derek might add other planets to that list as well, Space Boy.”- I teased and Spencer sighed, nodding.

- “True.”- he held me a few more minutes, letting the whole argument sink in.- “I don’t want to push you away.”

- “I know… it comes naturally when you are under pressure. You shut everybody out.”

He didn’t say anything else, I knew what he was thinking. A part of him wanted to apologize, the rest of his brain kept thinking about Emily. I sighed and looked at him, as my hands tried to fix his messy and crazy hair a little.

- “We’ll figure it out. Now let’s bring Em back.”

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I were still reading some of the files with Scratch’s intel Stephen had collected over the recent months when our cell phone rang. We both read the text, it was an address. Matt and Penelope had a location. They were on their way.

- “We are ten minutes closer.”- I whispered and my wife dropped the file on the table.

- “Hurry!”

We both knew we shouldn’t be doing that, neither of us had slept, I could barely see with one eye and my mental health was… unhealthy, to call it somehow decent. I was ignoring all the signs of burnout, anxiety, and panic attacks because I didn’t have time to deal with it. And my poor wife was unquestionably exhausted.

I kept the AC ice cold, trying to keep (Y/N) awake as she drove. The cold could help her stay focused, because it has a stimulating effect on your body, helping to counteract drowsiness, as well as improve mental clarity and alertness.

- “I’m fucking freezing.”- she whispered.

- “I’m trying to keep you awake, chipmunk.”- I replied and rubbed her leg.

- “I’m about to start singing all the Frozen songs.”- I chuckled remembering Raven would force us to watch that movie at least once a week back then. Even my mother knew some of the songs.

- “Did you double-check your bulletproof vest?”- I knew I had checked it myself, but I had to ask again.

- “Yes, you?”

- “Yes.”- she parked and we basically jumped out of the SUV.

- “You take right, I take left.”- I suggested but my wife shook her head even before I was done talking.

- “We are not splitting. We walk in together and walk out together. Is it clear?”

- “Yes ma'am.”

We rushed inside and less than a minute later, we heard the first gunshot. The place was a three-floor warehouse. We ran toward the sound, in hopes of finding Emily. My wife was right behind me, both our guns pointing around us the entire time.

And then, I saw her, Em, running up the stairs as Scratch tried to catch her.

- “FBI!”- I shouted and pulled the trigger. But I didn’t get him, I couldn’t even focus my gaze. He shot back, and I had to take two steps back, pushing my wife behind me to keep her safe.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as she nodded.

- “Are you?”

- “Yes, let’s go, Emily is on the run.”

We went upstairs but didn’t find anything. Instead, we heard Alvez’s voice from the first floor and decided to regroup with him.

- “Prentiss!”- I yelled as soon as I heard another gunshot. I was on edge, ‘cos I knew at the sight of Scratch I wasn’t going to talk to him, I wasn’t hoping for an interrogation or even to see him rot in jail. No. I wanted to be the one to put a bullet in that man’s head. I needed to see him bleed and get cold to be sure no one else in my family was ever going to be threatened by him.

- “Lower your weapon, damn it!”- Prentiss whispered as I found her and Matt behind some boxes on the first floor.

- “Where is Scratch?”- I asked immediately.

- “He is upstairs.”- Em whispered.- “Tag in here, Simmons and Alvez can box him in.”

- “No, I need to go find him.”

- “No, no, no, Spence. Please. I need someone I know is real right now, all right?”- Emily begged me and my wife moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. Simmons took his chance and ran away to catch Scratch. When my wife moved from Emily, I wrapped my arms around Prentiss and held her close to me.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as Prentiss nodded and tried not to cry.

- “Do you wanna go to the car?”- (Y/N) asked.- “This whole floor is clear. Scratch was alone here. Cocky bastard.”

- “Yeah, I need to get out of here.”- Emily replied. I held her and helped her walk as my wife grabbed her from the other side and supported her weight too,-

- “Scratch is down.”- we heard Alvez’s voice on the monitor a few seconds later.- “I repeat, Scratch is down.”

And though the nightmare was over, I didn’t feel relieved at all.

- “He fell, trying to escape.”- Luke explained to us as we stood next to the body. It made his death real, but it didn’t help with closure. It felt oddly wrong. The bastard was dead but all the pain he had caused was still here, hunting us. Knowing he was gone wasn’t enough to make it go away.

Coming back home to our kids was all we needed. That day, after visiting the team at the hospital, and dragging Emily along for a check-up, we went to Sofia’s and spent the rest of the day with our babies and my mother. Raven was so happy to see us she didn't let either of us go the entire day. Not even for nap time. (Y/N) held Vincent most of the time, she didn’t want to let him go, even when our 22-month-old wasn’t very excited to be stopped from running around.

- “We need time off from work.”- my wife whispered as we both lay on her old bed, holding our sleepy babies close to us.

- “We do.”- I replied and moved my hand from Raven’s back to my wife’s leg, rubbing it carefully a few times.

- “Maybe permanently.”- she added after a few seconds. But I didn't have an answer for those words. Not yet at least. So I just closed my eyes and sighed, ready to fall asleep.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Stephens’ funeral was something I wasn’t ready to deal with. I still felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened, and I didn’t feel prepared to face Monica, his wife. When I saw her sitting with their two kids, I kept seeing myself instead, crying over Spencer’s casket.

I didn’t know how to deal with the angst that that image produced me. I just held my husband’s hand tight as we stood next to Penelope and Simmons. Speeches were said, and people spoke about Stephen’s incredible career, his brilliant mind, and his good heart. All the things we were never going to share with him.

Somehow, Emily was strong enough to say some words at the ceremony. Being in a cemetery wasn't doing any good for anyone’s mental health at the moment, but we loved Stephen too much not to be there to say one last goodbye.

- “We never get to say good-bye the way we want, and when we deal with a loss so sudden and cruel, our emotions can overwhelm us.”

Prentiss’ voice was clear and strong. I bit my lips to stop crying, and Spencer wrapped an arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

- “Stephen Walker was a good agent, but he was a better man. He made the world a better place, and we can honor him by doing the work he never got to do.”

He never got to watch his kids grow. He never got to kiss his wife one more time. He didn’t get to retire, have a life, catch Mr. Scratch, and watch how he made the world a better place. There were too many things Stephen didn’t get to do, and all that ‘cos a psycho killer murdered him. I just sobbed and hid my face in Spencer’s shirt. He held me tight and didn’t let me go during the entire ceremony.

I couldn't even talk to Monica, I was too affected. However, I watched Emily and JJ talking with her, so after they lowered the casket and most people were gone, Spencer whispered in my ear:

- “Ready to go?”- and I just nodded.

- “Prentiss asked us to meet her at the BAU.”- Mat announced to us as we started walking. I didn’t want to go there, I wanted to go home and be with my kids. But I knew if Em wanted us to go to the BAU, it was serious. It wasn’t a meeting at Rossi’s after something had emotionally affected the team, it was formal.

When we walked into the conference room, Emily was waiting for us. She stood alone, like taking the room in. God knows how fucked up she was after being taken by Scratch, we had very little time to talk to her. We had little time for anything and everything at that moment. Rossi stood by her side as we all heard her saying to Matt.

- “I wanted to thank you for all of your help.”

- “Well, it was good to be of help. Ever since the IRT went down, I've been sitting on my hands waiting for a new assignment.”- he replied with a short smile.

- “We should sit down tomorrow. We can talk about that.”- Em suggested with a nod.

- “I'd like that.”

I don’t know why knowing there was a chance Matt joined the team made me feel better about my constant thoughts of leaving. Maybe ‘cos it meant someone else could step in and take our place.

- “So we all need to discuss what Peter Lewis' death means for this team.”- Emily was in full chief-of-department mode. Spencer, who was standing by my side, held my hand and intertwined our fingers as he kept looking at Prentiss.

- “It means that Hotch can come back.”- Penelope suggested, which I hadn’t thought about to be honest. Would he like to come back to this job? A job I didn’t know if I wanted anymore?

- “Yeah. We spoke to him. He was relieved that he and Jack were out of danger. They're out of Witness Protection, but...”- Rossi paused as if he didn’t want to break our hearts with the truth.

- “He's not coming back, is he?- JJ finished his sentence and David just nodded.

- “He loves being a full-time dad.”- Prentiss added- “He never got to do that before, and, let's face it, in this job…”

- “There's always gonna be another Scratch, and he's lost enough.”- Rossi’s words were somber, but filled with honesty. Of us all, Aaron Hotchner was the one person who had been forced to sacrifice too much for the team, for the victims, for the benefit of the Bureau. He deserved a life out of that madness and just be happy. Who knew? Maybe Beth could take him back after all those years.

- “We all have.”- Tara pointed out and looked at me. Of course, she knew I was a mess. But to be fair, we were all destroyed after those last couple of days.

- “Yes. We have, which is why the director has ordered us to take some time off from handling cases.”

At that moment right here, I felt like a whole brick wall had been lifted from my shoulders.

- “But before we all leave, there's one last thing I need to say.”- Prentiss continued talking. - “Scratch got deeper into my head than I care to admit, and the only way I was able to stay sane was by repeating a mantra, two words. You know what those two words were?”

- “Fuck you?”- I asked, but Prentiss shook her head.

- “Wheels up. It saved my life when I wasn't sure I was gonna make it because it reminded me that you were out there fighting, so take your rest... You've earned it. But when we get back, wheels up, Matt.”- Em turned to Simmons and he looked at Rossi for a second before answering:

- “Wheels up, Emily.”

- “Wheels up, Tara.”- Prentiss asked and I closed my eyes for a second, feeling the anxiety filling my body. My friend was about to ask us all one by one if we committed to the team after our weeks off and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life.

- “Wheels up.”- Lewis replied with a short smile.

- “Wheels up.”- JJ said before she was asked to answer,

- “Wheels up.” - Penelope did the same, and her voice cracked slightly.

- “Wheels up.” - Luke added

- “Damn right, wheels up.”- Rossi gave it a twist and then turned to my husband. His hand was still holding mine and I gave it a little squeeze. He looked at me and then at the people around us and finally nodded as he replied.

- “Wheels up.”

And then, they all stared at me. I didn’t know what to answer; I was feeling my peers’ pressure. So I opened my mouth and before I knew it, I heard myself saying.

- “Wheels up.”

And I immediately regretted it. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

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[danwhobrowses]

Critical Role C3 Ep 118 - Initial Thoughts

Well guys I maaaade it

It's 8am (well 9 now) and frosty in England and I had like, 1 hour light snoozing, I'm currently basking in the delusional energy being sleep deprived sustains until the inevitable crash but for now, an episode happened!

First of 2025, first I could watch in full thanks to PTO and willpower, shivering with nerves all day so let's cover the thoughts I remember at least (was staying as still as possible to avoid making noise for the others sleeping, so couldn't do the clickety clacks - and as you can tell by my use of 'clickety clacks' that my verbage may be as loopy as a rollercoaster at times)

Spoilers for the episode

Adorable abnormally named animals that looked more like a pupper and a gerbil, Bandit was true to his name

Oh geez more fucking monologuing, even Sam had the cup thing for it XD

Remember that fanart of Laudna, Orym and Ashton kicking Liliana after verbally dressing her down? Well that but this time with Ludinus, loved the pressing

Got some mini Ludie backstory and it was 'my family died as collateral in the Calamity', it's so hilariously basic at this point he deserved every bit of Ashton's 'get the fuck over it'

Part of me also couldn't help but think of Istho, the reluctant to die Paladin of the Lawbearer imprisoned at the Bloody Bridge literally a year ago, they had the same mantra

Would've been cooler to get a bit more Lawbearer sauce before in this campaign but fairs enough

Fearne just wants to give everyone cupcakes and candy and treats being the vessel of the God Eater like winning the lottery and I love her for it

It's not lost on me as an Ashton fan that Ludie never asked them what they wanted. There's a gist yes of controlling your own fate but still, got a lil' under your skin didn't they?

Chet no, don't try to open the cascade of sigils!

HA! Poofed out of his second monologue

Braius don't call him, you're gonna call him aren't you?

FUCKING LYING WHORE CHEATER BITCH Azzy, how's the family?

Brennan is untouchable but Matt's Fucking Lying Whore Cheater Bitch Azzy M still gives me the feeling of 'you know all the right things to say but I can still hear your manipulation'

Family, Braius, is right here! I get he's been around longer but first it's 'chase away and I'll remain' now it's 'don't let it out', mixed messages

I probably would've laughed to death if Ludie got distracted by the toy, though I do wish it was an Intuit Charge

RAVENOUS VOID OFF THE FUCKING BAT?? I was literally looking at that spell a few days ago

The aoe and save was so fucking high too, and I could've sworn Ashton can't be moved in Titan form, and resists all but Force Damage

Oh shit the neck! The neck comes back around!

God the cast rolled so badly for so long, and he kept saving and using his resistance

Not the neck ladies, the body, da body!

PATE I LOVE YOU

Pate noooo!

IRAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU!

MISTERRRRRR! I LOVE YOU!!

ASHTOOOOOOOON I LOVE YOU! That is my motherfucking barbarian tank killing the concentration

OH MY FUCKING DAYS POWER WORD STUN IMOGEN I FUCKING LOVE YOU!

I was counting the damage, once you knew it was below 150 all it needed was the math

Bless Ashley for wanting to go big but couldn't because of aoe

It had to be Orym, IT HAD TO BE ORYM, how's that for resolve?

Ira laughing in Ludie's face was cathartic too

'I don't want to hurt anyone, or kill anyone' - SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE ASHTON HATERS IN THE BACK!

We were so fucking close though, so close to the 'we can't absorb it but it can't stay here' point, we could've had an option C like sending it to a Demiplane

Surprised me how much Laudna pushed for pro-Predathos, given Imogen's reluctance, and Orym just unable to argue it because it's been argued to death

Oh god is he not dead? Fuckery duck, Laudna you have that ghost tracking thing right?

'What did you do to me, I used to be fun' - you still are you just have mushrooms planned with Fearne for after

Imogen you talked a lot about being free to decide your fate and now you're literally walking towards what 'fate' planned out for you

We are LITERALLY approaching what Ludinus wants to do

Child's voice is a nope, like an absolute nope

Like a 'Guys did we not learn from the Dominox?' nope

Because GUYS DID WE NOT LEARN FROM THE DOMINOX??

Orym insight checked a God Eater, got a whisper, stepped between it and the Ruidusborns, and that was not a red flag??

The collective 'ohhhh' though

Like, I get hearing it out, trying to see if we've simply been misinformed, but the proof is kinda in the pudding and it is dessert time

It knocked Chet into a wall for opposing, that's a nope

Hey Matt don't you think the Primordials partly responsible for this cage would have some resonance with it since we're getting clips of Tengar and Orym's Wildmother vision for all to see?

Imogen and Fearne NO

Predathos the nice hot faun lady told you to wait

Fearne YES but IMOGEN NO!

Fearne Yes! ...right? Answer the question cliffhanger! RIGHT?

I mean she heard her, that's something, are we gonna have to give Imogen her first death in the campaign? Can that staff factor in at all?

Definitely peeved that Imogen went and pulled a Frodo right at the last moment, but like the One Ring in Mount Doom she is being lulled by Predathos muddying her instincts, so I can kinda see why she thought it the kindest option, also le drama I suppose, Laura Bailey had to put her own third wedding one-shot in jeopardy

I have to be at work next week and there's a likelihood that the worst ending happens and Ludinus didn't get his ancient elf ass handed to him permanently ;_; so the stage is different, the health and spell slots are lower, but the fear is the same and I can't stay up for it

Contrary to others though I do still want a happy ending, the Hells aren't bad or evil for what they were attempting; the intentions was still good it was just not right. Someone else would've come, if not Ludinus then someone else with the same plan, but this is why we should've discussed alternatives earlier, this is why a united goal is important and why the Arch Heart fucking up the plan with his visit rubbed me the wrong way

At least now the Hells are gonna be on the same page with Predathos, it's about saving your people - so, save your people

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Hello!!

I'm back to crack posting about my favourite shows and/or characters! =D

We Are ep 8 was gold. It had comedy, friendship, silliness and romance in the absolute perfect amounts.

Warning: long post 😊😅

This scene with Peem and Matt is peak comedy. I rewatched it so many times hehe

Phum: I'm gonna ignore every inch of space to stand right beside you. <3

Peem: *bombastic side eye*

Also Peem: *leans into him*

Khaofang woke up today and chose violence 😭👍🏼

Let's be honest though, that was not the sibling we'd expected to throw fists.

Meanwhile, Toey: that's my hia Fang 😊

Isn't that the million dollar question Mick 😭

If they got together already, how would the series run for 16 eps 😭

Toey with his hias ^ (also Matt edging him on like he's in a competition I'm dying 😭)

Toey with his P'Q:

However savage Q may be, he still shares the same braincell with his friends 😭👍🏼

IT WAS SO MEAN OF THEM TO MAKE MATT PAY WHEN THEY'VE HARDLY EVEN TAKEN A SIP! T-T

Peem before, when Phum even touched him: LET GO YOU ASSHOLE

Peem now: *fond, indulging smile* what do you want to do?

*shakes head with a sigh* boys in love ay

The motorcycle 'hold me tightly' trope being reused with a bicycle aka how to make them sit even closer

Peem saying so-so when Phum asks if he looks handsome: Peem, babe, you were the one who called him handsome first remember? 😭

What secretly. Phum was about as subtle as a football directly hitting your painting (yes I think I'm very funny).

With all due respect, please get the f out and let my boys be. Please and thank you. :)

^This is the answer to any question about Pun. 😭👍🏼

This scene is so, so beautiful. I am absolutely loving how they’re giving friendship/platonic love as much importance as romantic love because yes. I've been waiting for a bl like this forever (or at least since I got into bls hehe-). Bad Buddy and MSP came close, but We Are took the trophy. They love each other so much. Kill for each other? Nah, they'd go together and make that person's life living hell, and that would make my day.

I really really love that they're still so silly with each other in college, and are close to and comfortable enough with each other to be able to be childish and play in the middle of the day, to be each other's safe space.

This friendship is so precious and close to my heart. Even more than the romantic parts of the story, this is what makes me want to watch this series every week to see what new shenanigans they've got up to.

I love them. So much.

Beer is me, I am Beer.

Smiling at them so softly. Oh, he knows. And he ships. 👍🏼

This scene was also so beautiful.

They've finally started acknowledging that there's something between them.

I think more than Phum being unable to express himself, he's taking small steps to guage how Peem reacts. He wants them to be on the same page before he takes the next step.

Like with the kiss, he didn't hesitate to talk about it, to tell how much it means to him and then kiss Peem again. But he waited until Peem kissed him first, and till he was sure that Peem wanted to talk about it.

I really like this about him. He's not taking a step back per se, just making sure that when he takes a step forward, he's not leaving Peem one step behind.

Phum explains again and again how Peem is his safe space (his dialogues this time reminding us of Peem's little speech to his own friends and Fang talking about why he likes Tan with Phum), to make sure Peem knows.

It's already been told to us how alone he's been most of his life, so Peem and his ragtag group of friends is very new for him, but it's fun, and it not only brings him closer to Peem but also a friend group - a support system he didn't really have before. Sure, he has Fang, Beer and Mick, and Tan, but it's nothing like this silly little group that puts paint on each other then plays with water and gets almost black out drunk on a regular basis.

Also, did anyone else notice the two matching rainbow coloured jars behind Peem here? No? 👀

Simp. (affectionate)

I always love these call scenes where one of them somehow travels through his cell phone to land in the other's bed hehe

Peem is so done with Phum and his branded fashion outfits 😭😭

"You were born in Thailand."

Pond and the "I'm Thai" meme 😭

wait.

A bl lead realising he likes someone (his romantic interest) all on his lonesome??

Colour me surprised!

I actually didn't think I'd get to see this happen ever in a Thai bl, but good for him lol

So that's that for this week! If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a bubble tea 🧋

[human-sweater-vest]

okay so we’ve seen glenn and ron so far in season two and they’ve been kind of what I expected.

glenn is pretty much the same as he was season one. it makes sense, he’s set in his whole thing, he’s vibing in hell with morgan and is sporting the same chill stoner vibes as before. the notable thing with him was that there wasn’t really animosity between him and nick (which also makes sense given their whole deal in season one). he’s always been far removed and it makes sense that in season two he’s still rockin with it.

ron then was a really touching surprise because he continued to grow as a person (insert beth may snickering here). he connected easily with scary and hit me like a fucking freight train with the line about him being sorry that she didn’t realize that losing terry jr. was her loss too. he’s this strange intermediary between the men in their family because willy took advantage of her needing someone to validate her pain, terry jr. was seen as a cause of it and therefore couldn’t help ease it truly (until things were too late), and then ron is here being his odd little self and extends sympathy to her because he also lost terry jr. and can understand. kudos to beth for ep. 41 because she rode the line between comedy and genuinely heartfelt and deep emotional moments like a champ.

and now here’s where we turn to speculation:

I’ve seen a lot of folks saying they’re worried about henry (and I feel like he’s probably going to warrant that because duh, it all comes back to the oak family when it comes to the doodler). however! my first point here is that we shouldn’t ignore darryl.

I feel like we see the most thought going into the oaks (and again, rightfully so, will and anthony are serving us trauma and drama on a platter) and I think one of the sacrifices with that comes at the extent of the wilson boys. the darryl/grant arc was the first time I really, truly got what dndads was all about. specifically, matt’s incredible line where darryl is replying to the other dads saying that he should showcase vulnerability to grant with darryl snapping and saying that he can’t be fully honest because he’s putting on a brave face because he doesn’t know if they’ll make it out and if he and carol will even stay together if they do. that line then contrasted later when he says that if grant asks him a question he’ll do his best to answer truthfully which allows for the big emotional connection they were lacking.

the wilson father/son relationship hinges on the idea of not being able to love the pain away and we see that extend into the next generation in a deeply tragic way. grant can’t make his mental illness magically disappear by loving his son despite how badly he clearly wants to. he can’t “we’ll talk about it later” his way into a healthy relationship where he’s able to offer his son both stability and truth. he’s fucked up and traumatized and never fully dealt with things and he’s dealing with the ramifications.

so how do we think darryl feels about that? how do we think darryl would feel knowing that he couldn’t love away grant’s mental illness (which isn’t something you can do, but he feels immensely guilty about in season one) and seeing the disastrous effect it had on the relationship between his son and grandson to the point where linc no longer refers to him as a dad? I personally really do think that he’ll act as a balm between the two and finally provide that space for them to become father and son again.

there’s truly so much I could say on the wilson family because I’m fascinated by the transition between the most stereotypically masculine family dynamic to a queered one (in both senses of the world) and how the thru line for the generations is this idea of not being able to 1. disclose the truth out of a sense of protection (see: frank hiding his marital and monetary issues, darryl hiding his martial issues and fear of not surviving faerun, and grant hiding who he is and what he does) and 2. love away the pain/illness.

and now we turn to the oak boys. I’m operating on the assumption that henry will be the last dad that they seek out because 1. glenn and terry jr. are in the same spot which means we get a two for one combo deal in hell 2. lark and sparrow clearly have a bad or at the very least strained relationship with their dad and will be less likely to jump on seeking him out and 3. the oak family started the whole doodler thing in this show so it makes sense that they’ll end it.

and for the sake of transparency: here’s where my bias comes through. henry was my favorite season one dad. normal is my favorite season two kid. will campos if you’re reading this, I want you to know that if I could simultaneously give you an academy award and sue you for emotional damages, I would.

the oaks have the most literal device explaining their generational trauma. hildy was ripped from her world after her companions were brutally killed in front of her, barry is a piece of shit, henry has the weight of both his father and having to be a father despite not having a role model, lark and sparrow are fucked up beyond belief in a manner of ways that starts at fucking their twin’s spouse and ends with starting the literal apocalypse. and then there’s normal. bearing the brunt of it all when he wasn’t even given the support to. he’s been carrying the weight of expectation since birth. his sister is hero, he’s normal and yet he’s anything but. that’s a whole other essay (catch me writing that when it’s not 2am).

back to the twins and henry though. from their view it’s bad right? lark hates his dad and destroyed the world. sparrow was an accomplice. I can’t imagine that things were easy after the doodler was released in the oak-garcia household. ESPECIALLY — and this has had me uncomfortable since we learned it offhand in episode 29 of the season — because henry and mercedes had another kid. first things first (and this might just be a me and my cultural background thing), but a minimum decade age gap between your first and second kids is A Lot. especially given the context here that henry struggles with being a father for the aforementioned reasons and his children literally Ended The World. I dunno about you but I think that I’d avoid having more kids at pretty much all costs at that point. but he and mercedes don’t. and hey maybe birdie/birdy was an accident. but my suspicion here (and I very much might be reading too deep into something mentioned in a literal “see you again” parody) is that birdie was a second chance kid. which would fucking blow if you were the aforementioned dad-stabbing—eldritch-creature-releasing child because it would look like your dad had gone “okay well that didn’t work out I can’t find a way to make these kids work so let’s try another one” which would justify the distance and dislike of henry from both of the boys.

I’m a very big fan of henry. he’s fucked up in the exact way I like my fictional men and also reminds me of guys from the city I grew up in which is both appalling and endearing. however, this is absolutely a move I could see him justifying to himself which morally makes me wanna walk into the sea and from a character/story standpoint makes me wanna jump up and down in glee. I really, truly am hoping that things pan out like that and we see a henry who loves his beautiful boys very deeply, but also gave up on them in exchange for a do-over.

I’m especially excited to see how he interacts with normal because my first instinct based on season one without my fucked up and evil birdie theory is that he’ll love normal and make him feel special and seen while my second post-birdiegate instinct is that he’s just not going to care anymore and therefore do fuck-all for normal. he has the energy of a man who eventually just stops trying because he can’t ever make everything better. will campos, if you deliver on that, I’ll figure out how to sneak the oak family into an academic paper.

finally (for now), I’m predicting that the familial reunions will reflect the how the anchors broke. glenn, ron, and darryl will be love while henry will be hate. I think there’s a lot of possibility there that I can break down when it’s not almost 3am. thanks for reading! lmk what you think, I really want to discuss this with folks and get your takes!!

[natemares-weird-ask-blog]

Master Post

Hello!! Here I roleplay as Mare from Nwtb's music video Mangled. This blog doubles as an ask blog and just regular role-playing. If you want to see me drawing Dawktrap and making my own fanmade Youtuber egos then you can follow my main blog here! @the-matpat-ever and if you wanna roleplay with dawko egos @manic-n-panic-rp

Boundaries~ I am a minor, talking about or role-playing nsfw are off limits. The only thing I'm comfortable with is gore or eldrich horror type deals. If you wanna roleplay with me you can dm me or give me an ask(I have anxiety reaching out to people first so be aware, being very clear with what you want to rp or talk about helps a lot). Any shipping asks or rps are fine as long as they're legal

Now heres some rp info about my sillies:3

Mare

Pronouns~ He/It

Gender~ This thing don't got a gender

Age~ Mf doesn't age

Sexuality~ Pansexual

Height~ 6'

Other~ Bro fr kidnapped Matt because he was bored. He treats him kind of like a pet. He holds grudges on others like no other, especially since he's not human, which lets him eat inedible things like chalk and paint. Also, Phantom is like an annoying, all "righteous acting" older brother to Mare. Mare absolutely despises him. Skilled at fighting but he's very messy. Very possessive of his things.

Personality~ Anger driven, keeps to himself, sarcastic, arrogant, acts before thinking, messy, mysterious, mischievous

Matt

Pronouns~ He/Him

Gender~ Cis Male

Age~ 32

Sexuality~ Bisexual

Height~ 5'7

Other~ He had worked many jobs in retail until he got a job at Freddy's. He worked the dayshift and nightshift whenever he could. While he was getting shit faced at a bar in town he was kidnapped by Mare. He is quite freaked out by it but at least he's not being tortured...physically anyway. He's not very well with blood and will probably faint upon seeing it. Mare seems to think they're buddies sometimes and Matt cannot stand it.

Personality~ Awkward, stubborn, gets freaked out easily, no bullshit kinda guy even though he creates the bullshit, quite lazy and acts like an angsty teen when drunk[think of Ragatha in the 4th TADC Ep.]

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

I watched seven seasons of vampire diaries well half of season 7 .. close enough.

. Caroline /Katherine Pierce were my fav girls. . caroline had a major glow up/ plus her hating DAMON is valid and its so shitty she had to apolgize for tlaking shit about him in s4 cause elena was sirebonded and it made her upset.. s1 elena would never..

Katherine was just fun.. and intriquing your left wondering does she care about anyoen but herself? i think she did like stefan.. and him giving her a happy dying dream was very sweet no wonder she want stefan.. He's a nice guy at his core.

Stefan/Tyler were my fav boys. I really liked Stefan when he embraced vampirism too he was fun.. and from what i saw of paul thats actually closer to pauls snarky personality ..

Stefan/elena now him stalking her creepy as shit.. butohwell

i think they were actually close to Girl can fix boy but done better than delena for the 3 seasons.. i think elena brought out the best in stefan while damon brought out the worse in elena.. plus what the heck was the sire bond about? thats not epic love that just weird. .

delena maybe could work if he hadn't kill her brother.. but .. sometimes.. i got sib vibes from them. whenhe wasn't beeing creepy anyway.. but he also never really respected her choices or her boundaries .

i felt the writers kept him grom growing too..

as much as i detested damon he got so many good JOKES.. I met a squirel he asked me my name today i told him it was joe that lie will haunt me forever. ..

adored him with Bonnie Ian/Kat chemistry was amazing its acutally interesting knowing he dated nina they broke up and boy did it show in the show cause the chemistry died down after that break up ..

least fav was ENZO im glad STEFAN killed him but im annoyed he was dating Bonnie cause when did he even talk to bonnie? plus he was just so annoying with how he kept trying to ruin stefans life ..

bonnie had the best chemistry with damon and the Heretics i was rather bummed they killed off the lesbian herietics. .. julie/caroline plec suck so those ships could never happened.. cause bonnie/one of the lesbian girls i forget her name but i rem thinking i dig this chemistry with them..

julie/caroline these two women were def living through delena the way they treated it as epic l explains why it was so bad

.. what interview with vampire got right was how to write toxic romantic relationships vd got it so wrong. it also helps louie was 33 a full ass adult man so its not creepy vamps flirting with teenagers.. i learned the guy playing matt was shitty to kat so thats a bummer cause i did enjoy matt/caroline for what it was.. and the alaric guy i heard him talk in intervies and he gives me the creeps.. but how he mentions the idea of dating bonnie.. i wonder if he pitched alaric dating caroline. either way whoever came up with that ship is a FREAK.. cause.. That's HER TEACHER/ Elenas sorta Father figure 40 year old 17 year old .. no thank you.

Stefan/caroline could have possibly worked but it felt like stelena 2.0 .. i did vibe with their joker/harley no humanity plot for a bit.. i

shipped matt/caroline/caroline tyler/ now klaus .. he like killstyler/ nearly killed caroline/ drowned tylers mom i dont think it was ic for her to have anything more than maybe Pity for the lonely hybrid.. and i dont mind them as friendish.. but man how tyler/caroline end is bogus and ooc ...

..id say after ep 3 of s4 elena is also ooc because of that damn sire bond..

the show is best ended at s4 ep 1 but i was a glutton for punishment i went on till s7..

[aceofwhump]

Hi! Do you have any favourite recovery fics??? Like Buck recovering from any one of his mishaps (or Anthony Bridgerton, or Matt Casey, or Mike Warren, etc) where they cover the process (the part that shows always skip where in one ep things are absolutely fucked and in the next they’re absolutely fine I’m looking at you and your rebar 9-1-1)

Thanks!!!

I have a TON of good recovery fics. Recovery fics are some of my favorite things to read! Especially really long ones where the character is recovering from a trauma. If you don't mind other fandoms I've got a ton of recovery fics to rec. Not a lot for Anthony Bridgerton or Mike Warren in terms of recovery fics for canon whump sadly. Actually there's not a lot of recovery fics for them period. But I hope some of these other ones will sate you!

The Witcher:

Hold On by CaptainRex_ika

It has been months since that day on the mountain, a day that left Jaskier alone. Now, he finds himself a captive of Nilfgaard, who just want Geralt and that child surprise of his, and they believe Jaskier is the way to get the White Wolf's attention. After all, he is known as the Witcher's Bard. Jaskier believes that this time Geralt won't come for him...not after that day.

warming of a heart by Alexlively88

tws: A/B/O, past rape/non con, abortion/discussion of abortion, rape recovery

Killing a rusalka is just a normal day in Geralt's life. It's just his job. What isn't his job is rescuing abused omegas. He does it anyway. Or, Jaskier is done with life. To his disappointment, life isn't done with him just yet.

If You Ask Me for My Fire (Just Watch Me Burn) by DigitalSaiyan

tws: past rape/non con, rape/noncon, rape recovery,

Jaskier has zero intention of sharing the degrading experience of getting tortured. Ever. He’ll bury the memories and someday they’ll be as scabbed over as Caingorn was. Which had been completely, absolutely, fine. And the only reason that wound is bleeding a little now is because Geralt came out of nowhere—after the most humiliating experience of his entire life—and reopened it. But that’s fine because he’ll leave and return to the terror of his smuggling work and forget about Geralt all over again. There's nothing hard drink and the constant danger of execution won’t get his mind off. There’s something therapeutic about fearing for one’s life that makes anything not of immediate concern go away. So yes, things were just fine before Geralt showed up. Two years post-Caingorn, Geralt rescues Jaskier from jail and sends him with Ciri to Kaer Morhen. However, Geralt starts to suspect Jaskier is hiding serious trauma.

Panic Attacks by AllTheQueensHorses

Jaskier, captured by Nilfgaard and tortured for weeks, has panic attacks because no one knows where he is and no one is coming to rescue him. Basically a giant whump fic with plenty of angst and hurt but no comfort until later. Trigger warnings throughout the whole story for panic attacks.

Broken by GonEwiththeWolveS

In which Geralt finds out Jaskier was tortured. Or, the self-indulgent hurt/comfort fic.

What am I, if not a bard? by Mi_chan

Geralt knows something happened to Jaskier. He doesn't know the details, but he knows he needs to do something to help the bard. Jaskier is stubborn and refuses to talk to him. Geralt doesn't give up that easily, though. ~ Since the series totally downplayed Jaskier's trauma, here's the fix. The bard is hurting, he's scared and doesn't know what to do with himself, but Geralt is there, acknowledging his pain. ~

an incessant burning by 1derspark

“Jaskier,” Geralt prompted after a while. “Can you look at me?” He shook his head and hoped that his mumbled "no" would be heard. Geralt sighed but didn’t try to move him. His hand was running a comforting trail up and down Jaskier’s back. Eventually, he spoke again. “Yen, she told me some things, but I didn’t realize…” He trailed off, and Jaskier could hear him swallow. A click of guilt in the throat. He reached over to Jaskier’s arm. When he didn’t startle or protest Geralt took his arm. He rubbed a gentle finger over the wax burn. It was a barely-there thing, nothing to get all riled up about. But even having his arm exposed made Jaskier want to crawl into a hole. (Or Jaskier’s newfound aversion to fire, and the comfort he deserves.)

Hand in Trembling Hand by PenAndInkPrincess

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier whispers at last. Geralt shifts so he can look at him. “I’m sorry I’m…like this, now.” “You don’t have to be sorry.” (Jaskier has a hard path to walk while he's healing. Geralt and Yennefer help him with this part.)

Ted Lasso:

an excess of warmth or coldness by bartonbones 

When Jamie is seriously injured during a match, Roy and Ted are reminded how much they care about him--as a son, or as a younger brother, or as an exposed nerve. Jamie is reminded what it's like to have people care when his face gets knocked in.

Lemons and Lavender by LivingProof

He peels his eyes open. Shit, they really must be giving him the good stuff, cause he could swear he knows that dark figure lurking in the doorway, where his old man came in a few minutes ago. He blinks a few times, waiting for it to vanish. It doesn’t. “Roy?” he croaks. He blinks again, and Roy…or whoever…is standing beside him, 'cept Jamie still can’t tell, cause he can only see his back, cause whoever it is isn’t looking at Jamie, he’s looking across the room. Towards that window. At Jamie’s dad. “The fuck do you fucking think you’re fucking doing here?” Yeah. That’s Roy.

Barn Raising by altschmerzes 

After the locker room disaster in Manchester, Roy drives Jamie home. The chaos they find when they arrive at the house swiftly proves it is not a safe place to spend the night, forcing a change of plans and a reroute to Roy’s own home. The following day Jamie experiences, in this order: The most bewildering breakfast of his life, a penalty kick clinic with a seven-year-old, and an overwhelming display from his teammates that brings him face to face with the fact that not only has he been accepted back in Richmond it’s also possible he might be, in a way he can’t remotely process or understand, loved here.

The Same Story by altschmerzes

It would've been traumatic enough for Jamie's father to ruin Richmond's most recent victory in front of the whole team, but when the confrontation turns violent in front of a gaggle of reporters, the ensuing social media firestorm is even worse. Over the next two and a half weeks, Jamie will have to navigate the charges against his father, walk a gauntlet of publicity that he never asked for, and prepare to give the interview of a lifetime.

Sandman

Bones Don't Rust by not_whelmed_yet

The same capture & rescue fic everyone has written, but playing off two ideas: - I wanted to see Dream’s physical recovery take long enough that he could begin his mental/emotional recovery before heading back to the Dreaming - There’s a lot of ways to hurt an anthropomorphic entity without taking them out of their snowglobe

I will find you in your dreams by Salmaka

A story where Dream, confused and weak from his time in isolation doesn't make it back to the Dreaming but ends up in Hob's house instead.

To Learn to Breathe Again by ironlin

Upon returning back to the Dreaming, Dream finds himself struggling. Thankfully, Lucienne is there to help.

9-1-1

To Be Loved by Scribbles97

Buck knew he was spiralling, that the dread that had been shadowing him since leaving the hospital should have left when the doctor had given him the all clear. Yet, he can't help but feel like he's still missing something. Eddie hadn't been able to give him the answers, but maybe Bobby could. Calm, dependable, reassuring, Bobby always had the answers and helped him through stuff.

Goosebumps by Princessfbi 

Everyone kept telling Buck he was supposed to rest, but he didn’t know how he was supposed to do that when the cold was an incessant prickling under his skin. Five Times Buck Struggled to Stay Warm After Being Struck By Lightning and Put Into A Coma and One Time He Didn't.

Don't (Wanna) Know Who I Am by altschmerzes

Buck takes a nasty fall out on a job, and when he wakes up, he can't remember anything. Not what happened, not who the people in his hospital room are, not even his own name. The next two weeks he spends being passed from house to house every few days, Chimney, Hen, and Bobby taking turns keeping an eye on him while he tries to remember his life. The way back is slow and hard, and begs the question - who actually is Evan Buckley, and is he someone worth remembering? (Luckily, the rest of the 118 is there with an answer, if not to the first question, then at least to the second.)

Once Upon A Time

puppet strings by bewilderedmoth

Having technically died on more than one occasion now, having finally put all that trauma behind him and settled down in Storybrooke, August had hoped his troubles were long gone. When Gold returns to town in his quest to find the Author, hopes of a trouble free life in the sleepy town crumble away to dust. (A whumpy re-write of August's torture in S4, Ep 16. Set within the 'mess is mine' universe, but not actually canon to that AU)

they are mine by Lil_Redhead

Killian is still trying to deal with his emotional pain after returning from the underworld and all he needs is a motherly touch. Takes place after 5B season finale.

Unforgotten by NothingImpossibleOnlyImprobable

Killian went through so much in his centuries of life, especially in the Underworld. Nightmares were to be expected. This is canon-compliant with my Undefeated story, and it will eventually be a part of a larger collection of works dealing with the aftermath of everything he's survived, and some he didn't.

You can take the boys out of Neverland by WinkyCutto

The Lost Ones don't like having to live by the rules and Henry and his family are about to find out that bringing them back to Storybrooke may not have been the best idea... Hook whump galore, you have been warned.

Superman & Lois

Path to Recovery by Beth4LC

It’s been a month since Clark lost his powers and there are still no clear answers to when he’ll get them back. In the meantime, he focuses on connecting with the members of his family.

Powerless by Beth4LC

Clark is home and recovering after Ally’s near-fatal attack, and he starts to adjust to his new reality.

Lucifer

Deal by hearmerory

Chloe didn't spend five years being best friends with the Devil just to let him go back to Hell. But recovery? Relationships? These are not things Lucifer has ever found easy. In the weeks after Lucifer's return from Hell, he and the humans, angels and demons who surround him find out how long, hard and traumatic those roads can be.

Crystals by OkamiShadou98

After seeing Lucifer's scars, Chloe searches for the truth about her partner and his shadowed past. In doing so, she comes face to face with the psychological demons he shields himself from. Recovery is a long, twisted road for the Devil and his Detective. Eventual Deckerstar.

The Man From Uncle:

Agents, Missions, and Hospitals by Tallihensia

Getting hurt on a mission is enough to make a partner’s blood run cold. The aftermath and recovery, though, is almost as bad. Caring and trust makes it better.

The Martian:

Waiting in the Sky by midnightradio

Mark is back on the Hermes but getting rescued isn't quite as easy as it seemed. Fighting for your life is easy, but living with what you had to do to survive is harder.

I Win, Mars by chuckisgod

You didn't just have to save him. You have to put him back together, too. Ares 3 was in time to save Mark's life, but not quite his mind. The Hermes has hundreds of days of space travel before they all get back to Earth. It's a ship running without maintenance, and the primary engineer has the world's most severe case of PTSD. What happens? Canon-compliant.

Just Keep Going by chuckisgod

"And this is how this story ends. The story of Mark Watney is the story of a man who was stranded on Mars, and instead of giving up he did everything he could to make it back to Earth, because that's the point." What would being abandoned on an entire planet do to someone? A window into Mark's emotional state on Mars. A sincere attempt to stay true to the real-life health effects of solitary isolation.

Life on Earth by watneykingofmars

A series of drabbles and one-shots about Mark Watney readjusting to life on earth.

Avatar the Last Airbender:

Hearth and Home by lets_support_frogs

After his Agni Kai, Zuko flees the Fire Nation without Iroh or his crew. He finds himself stranded, alone, and injured in the Earth Kingdom when taken in and raised as a healer and farmer by an Earth Kingdom couple. He finds new ways to use his bending and to influence in the changing of the war with new understanding of himself, his bending, and the war. As someone with new perspectives and influence he is able to provide a greater understanding of being a teacher, warrior, and friend when meeting the gaang.   or Where Zuko gets to recover before using anger to protect himself when he is adopted by a nice Earth Kingdom family

[panderp123]

C3 EP 78

•

•

•

⚠️ SPOILERS CR ⚠️

The Lost Children

Seeing Bells Hells aftermath of the shard rejection and how Ashton has brought down those walls. The group goes off in different directions to come to terms with Ashton doing a selfish thing.

The moment…of all characters to say this…Delilah tells Laudna

“He’s a child…”

Which sparked Laudna to make one of her quirky dolls and pulled at my heartstrings.

But before this happened Fearne was so upset she had a somewhat childish tantrum about Ashton almost dying. Three of the party members have severe childish tendencies all different but wow!

Fearne doesn’t know how to handle anger because in EXU she got scared of being evil or turning. Which resulted in her having silent storm-offs or unusual lashouts. It’s very Fearne and how much isolation she’s had from being protected by Nana Mori. A being of the Feywild, Fearne is a delight but it’s so heartbreaking when something scary happens she becomes this little girl. Or a difficult decision such as reviving Orym earlier in the campaign.

Once Fearne storms off and as predicted Chetney goes off to console her. Ashton became this small thing and the walls were all gone. Some moments caught me by surprise.

“I…just want my parents.”

“I wanted someone to blame other than myself…”

“I don’t like myself very much…”

These are important points because I think Ashton…never really left the desert. Their inner child is constantly crying out for their missing parents. This also concluded my point before that the Greymoore home wasn’t as great as it should have been.

To link back to the doll Laudna makes later in this episode, Ashton sees Laudna and apologises. He didn’t betray her. He just did a dumb thing and that triggers Laudna’s childish tendencies. Laudna doesn’t understand the difference between betrayal over doing something dumb in a selfish manner. However, when the doll is handed to Ashton they start to cry.

Holding it and looking at it which a new look at their mistakes. Ashton is just this broken child deep down.

“I’ve never had a doll before…thank you.”

The fact Ashton had never been given a toy shows you how messed up their time must’ve been at the orphanage. Before they plain jump he tucks the Ashton Doll on his person.

Now on to Laudna, the weight of the events pulls her closer to her patron Delilah. As much as we don’t want her to awaken more I’m kind of glad Laudna had her to talk to for this as I feel Imogen would have sugar-coated it too much.

Delilah albeit dark, evil and narcissistic did make an effort to console Laudna. Not only that but Laudna defied her when Delilah suggested she take the shard.

The childish nature of Laudna is due to her traumatic past. So she clings to her inner child Matilda as those memories are not overshadowed by her time in the castle or with the Brairwoods. By all means this isn’t healthy at all! However, it is character growth.

Naming off all the sad things of her friends' pasts or her own Laudna finds a way to mend Ashton’s inner child by making a doll out of graffitied wood, a chipmunk skull & quartz. It’s simple but it made the tough punk cry so it must have worked.

I’m glad the ice was broken before they took respite in the Feywilds. Despite being homesick Fearne didn’t want to be selfish like Ashton in asking could they go. Given that the group are not mentally stable to face Ruidius they all agreed a needed R&R is needed due to lack of communication.

I like how Matt added Birdie & Ollie at Nana’s because the whole group needs a loving parent unite to help.

Things I’d like to see upcoming:

• Chetney is the Grandpa of wisdom of the group & there’s no BS so more of that. (Be funny if he hit on Alura more just for a laugh xD)

• Laudna & Ashton connect on a wholesome level with childish joys (toys or puppetry)

• Ashton & Fearne reconcile more. No romance but more fixing the foundations before anything happens

• Birdie has a secret 👀

• Allura becomes a more Mother like figure for Imogen in regards to her power.

• Orym gives Ashton a stern talk (Liam was AFK so it be good to see what happens there.)

• Nani Mori knows what to do with the shard 🔥

[aylwyyn228]

I was just rewatching campaign 2 ep 79, and the bit with Essek is so funny to me. At no point did they say they wanted to be in the middle of the forest. They just kept talking about marsh that they'd seen.

I know that they probably expected Matt to infer what they wanted from all of their cross-talk, and it just got lost (because I would have assumed the same as Matt from what they were saying), but the fact that it played out in game is hilarious.

I'm just imagining being Essek, and these arseholes turn up asking you to taxi them around, and don't even know where they want to go. Then they stand around and argue and debate for a bit, talking about a swamp and pointing out a bit of marshland on a map. And by this point you're bored and frustrated and they're looking at you expectantly, so you take them to the damn marsh.

And then they start bitching about actually wanting to be in a completely different place, that they never even mentioned.

And against your will, you STILL love them enough to take them the rest of the way.

[marvelousmatt]

What We Do in the Shadows Showrunner on Nandor/Guillermo "Boundaries"

What We Do in the Shadows Showrunner/EP Paul Simms on Guillermo and Nandor setting "boundaries," the vampires "helping" Gizmo, and more.

Published Mon, 09 Sep 2024 15:37:09 -0500 by Ray Flook

When we last checked in on how things were looking with the time we have left with Laszlo (Matt Berry), Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), Colin (Mark Proksch), Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), Nandor (Kayvan Novak), The Guide (Kristen Schaal), and their friends (and enemies), we were getting some very interesting intel on the sixth and final season of FX's What We Do in the Shadows. With the series set to return on October 21st, Showrunner/EP Paul Simms is sharing even more pieces of the puzzle. Having moved out of the Staten Island mansion after turning down the opportunity to be a vampire, Simms notes that Guillermo and Nandor "have established some boundaries. He realizes that now he's got to go out in the real world and start his own life."

That new life includes a new job – another aspect of Guillermo's new life that has the vampires concerned. "The vampires are so concerned about his ability to function in the real world that they follow him to his job to quote-unquote 'help him out,'" Simms added during an interview with TV Line – which can only end well, we're quite sure. Admitting that originally, "we had no idea how we were going to end" the long-running show, Simms shared that "I'm really happy with the ending… We didn't want to get too bogged down in trying to tie up every loose end or get too sentimental about it. We just wanted to make another super funny season and have the ending proceed logically from that, and I think we've done it."

What We Do in the Shadows Final Season: New Vamp, Doc Crew Involved

Heading into the show's San Diego Comic-Con (SDCC) 2024 panel, Simms offered some very intriguing intel on what's to come – including Guillermo starting a new life and Colin looking to help Laszlo build a new familiar/best friend. During the SDCC 2024, Berry, Proksch, Schaal, Novak (via Zoom), Simms, and director Kyle Newacheck were on hand to screen the first episode of the final season and tease what's still to come. The three big takeaways? We're introduced to our vamps' original roommate, Jerry (Michael Patrick O'Brien) – and let's just say that his reawakening (they forgot to wake him since 1976) has an impact on the house's dynamic. In addition, we learn where Guillermo's living now and what he's been up to. Finally – and especially interesting – the vampires begin calling into question the whole documentary thing.

Speaking of the documentary crew, Newacheck noted that the story of our usually unseen supporting cast "does get opened up towards the later end of the season in a very meta way that was fun to make." In fact, the director even had a chance to get in on the action. "I will say that I did get to play a director in the show at a certain point while I was directing the show, which was the most meta thing I've ever been a part of. So stay tuned, y'all. It's gonna get wild and weird," Newacheck added.

As an added bonus, you may have noticed at the opening that we mentioned Novak checked in via Zoom – but that wasn't quite right. Novak checked in as Nandor – and had a pretty graphic response when asked if Guillermo was going to come to terms with his feelings for Nandor. "I have to keep my voice down because Guillermo is in the next room, jacking off into his pillow," Nandor shared, saying to someone off camera who was supposed to be Guillermo, "What? No, I wasn't talking about you. Shut the fuck up!" Here's a brief clip of Nocak from today's panel:

[2ndstringloser]

I want to talk about EJ and Ricky's friendship. I kinda have mixed feelings about it. I liked their scenes together this season and especially the one where EJ gives him advice is really emotional and both Josh and Matt did an incredible job in that scene (and the writing for that scene was amazing). I can say it's one of my favourite scenes in the entire show and it proves that this friendship had so much potential. It could've been so great if it was done right. My pb with their friendship was that there wasn't a buildup. EJ randomly calls Ricky his brother at the end of s3 and most fans agreed at that point that they were nothing like that. There was no buildup for that. Most of s3, both EJ and Ricky barely showed signs of friendship. The only time I can remember a good scene between the two was at the end of ep 2 and kinda that's it (from there their friendship only went downhill in that season). And now, in s4, there is still sth I didn't like. Ricky came to see EJ only to ask him for advice. To me, the friendship would have seemed more genuine if the show implied that Ricky had visited him before and this time he came for advice. I wanted to see reasons why EJ considers him his brother. Ok, for Ricky to call EJ his brother after EJ was there for him at his worst, I can say it makes a lot of sense. But EJ saying that in s3 doesn't make any sense to me, bc I need to see the reasons, or at least, a little buildup. I don't need a lot of scenes with them. One meaningful scene is enough for me. Anyway, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy their friendship, and again, I really liked their scenes, but if there had been a buildup for all of this, their friendship would've felt really authentic to me and I could've enjoyed it so much more. I think the thing that upsets me is the wasted potential of this friendship. It had great potential and only a small part of it was used in the show. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for what we got: their scenes were really good and their duet was chef kiss (I'm so happy that EJ FINNALY got to sing an emotional song). 

youve got a point for sure. i think the main problem isnt that theres no build up because theyre friends very often, its that we go from besties to enemies right back to besties only when its plot convenient. them finally reconsiling and becoming true friends has to be my favorite thing the show has ever done but it was for sure weird. although its pretty true to the source material. sharpay was everyones best friend at the end of every movie and then we come back for the sequels and its all "i must put a stop to troy and gabriella" like girl yall just did a whole song and dance not a few months ago chill out.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 32 Week 1: That Was Interesting

So because this is so late getting up and I wasn't exactly blown away by the vast majority of the couples, I'm going to do this review a little differently. I am going to separate the folks into 3 or 4 categories of my feelings. I'll decide by the time I finish typing this up. Now first of all, the show NEVER needs to be two and a half hours ever again. That was ridiculous. I'm not sure what the reason was as it was just 14 couples and we've been able to do it in 2 hours before. But that was too long on Tuesday. Julianne was nice as a host. Kinda boring. She'll grow into the role though. It takes everyone time to figure out how to host. I like that they renamed and redesigned the MBT in honor of Len. That was really touching, especially when I saw the little bowtie on the bottom of the trophy. Also, I want to remind you all that I will be allowing Jamie Lynn and Adrian (and Mauricio cuz I got a bone to pick with him) to just exist on this show and not get into their controversies unless it comes up on the show. Doesn't excuse it. Doesn't make it any better. But they're on the show. There's nothing we can truly do but just not vote or decide not to watch. I especially say this because they might be good and stick around for a while. So ignoring two people that might be major players doesn't make sense to me.

Okay, now let me address the elephant in the room. Matt and Koko's departure. It was bs. There was no reason for Matt to be tied for the lowest score of the night when it was a middle of the road performance. He should've gotten a 16. Also let's talk about the scoring. Alyson is a very nice lady and she's trying. That dance should've gotten a 10. Harry seems to be nice and I do like him. He should've gotten a 9. Neither Tyson nor Matt should've tied for the bottom of the leaderboard. Do I think Matt's elimination was orchestrated? I do. And I think it's because he would bring bad press to the show for deciding to move forward with the premiere while being a WGA show, as the strikes were still happening. You gotta remember folks, they didn't reach a deal until this past Sunday. They should not have been planning for this premiere for this week. Because Matt was the only one that stepped away briefly, he would obviously be asked about it in every single interview outside of the show for however long he was on the season. That is a BAD look for DWTS. So I think that the entire night (low scores, dance order, etc) was orchestrated (allegedly) to get him out of there and shut him up. Cuz outside of the exit interviews this week, who is gonna interview Matt Walsh? That would be the show's thought, not mine. Now, who is to say he won't end up on more shows to be interviewed beyond this week. I'm not sure if they fully thought that through, but we shall see. I didn't see what Matt said in his elimination speech (I will watch that piece pretty soon here), but I heard what he said and that makes me think that's truly what was happening. The man is smart. He's been in the industry for a long time. He knows how these things work. But if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. He has to know that people are very proud of him standing for what was right and not just going along to get along. I don't know much about him but I've gained a lot of respect for him as a result. I also, am not a fall for anything type of person. It comes with consequences, but hey, somebody has to say something. The show is trash for that though. And they oughta be ashamed of themselves. They won't be though, cuz I've learned that even though Conrad is probably the best person to have back as EP, he's still the lesser of the evils of all the EPs (in practice, not just name) we've had over the course of this show. The man is still slimy though. Don't think shit is sweet cuz you're not Andrew.

Potential Frontrunners (The Good)

So we have a group of celebs that I can see potentially being great. There's like 6 of them that have frontrunner and dark horse potential.

Charity was probably the best of the night and not just because her score said so. She moves across the floor with ease and is very confident. I also think Artem created a great routine. She is someone that I think will do well in any dance style.

Ariana was great. I think she's the only one that rivals Charity right now. My biggest issue with them was 1) the choreo was kinda weird in my opinion and 2) the Bravo audience is kinda fickle. If the Vanderpump Rules fans are more like RHOA and less like RHOBH and RHONJ, then I think Ariana can go far. She's def the best Bravolebrity that has been here. But with a pro with an untested fanbase and a dubious fanbase coming in, she might suffer a "shocking" (but not so shocking) elimination. Glad to see her thriving after kicking Sandoval to the curb.

Jason was shocking to me. I was not expecting him to be as competent of a dancer as he was. I was expecting Andy Grammer. You know, awkward, lacking musicality and struggling. But instead, we got a trip back to early DWTS when the boy banders used to get out there every season, and turn it out, week to week. I'm excited to see him with Daniella. I think we're gonna be in for a treat.

Lele wasn't a huge shock to me as she kinda has been giving me "look out for me" vibes in all her preseason stuff that I've seen. But I will say that like Jason and Barry, she has something that is unique to her and will work well in this competition. She is a super strong and dynamic performer. It's almost reminiscent of Sabrina Bryan. But it's so different from how Brandon moves. I think they complement each other really well, cuz it doesn't look like a struggle. It's like two sides of the same coin dancing together. I think she can really go far though. Just point those toes. Cuz what an eyesore those were. And make sure you reign some of that power in.

Barry was a complete joy and actually my biggest shock of the night. Most of the older men are not that good on this show. But, Barry was extremely light on his feet, fun and didn't just rely on charisma to take him far. The man can actually dance. He's got some technical things to work on, but I think he can go far and might have a shot at winning if his Latin is any good. Oh and Deena, this is why you put campaigners on the show.

Not Too Sure But You Were Fun to Watch (The Meh)

Xochitl was good. She's got a lot of potential. But she's got balance issues and needs to work on that. I'm not too sure about her fanbase coming in though and how she'll come off to the general audience. She's nice and great. But we had someone that was similar to her be an early elimination (Willow Shields as a young movie star in a blockbuster movie series). I see her being compared to Zendaya and Laurie and I just don't those are the most like her situation. Willow is much more similar.

Adrian was cool outside of his face. I think he has a lot of potential. He's gotta work on refining things and being lighter on his feet. Right now, he's stomping through the dances and that's not cute. Not sure how the audience will vote for him though.

Mira has got everything she needs to be amazing. Long limbs. She places them well for the most part. She stayed on time. There's a sense of rhythm there. She's got it all. Her biggest downfall is her pro lol. I'm sorry but it just is what it is. Gleb has had so many diamonds in the rough and didn't care because he had to work to turn them into the diamond that they could be.

Jamie Lynn was kinda where I thought she would be. She's definitely scared out of her mind and out of her element. But I think she's not giving herself enough credit. There is a lot there with her. Alan has to work on her nerves and on her just being able to accept herself as she is. This is going to be a different type of journey for her (think Kelly Osbourne, Kirstie Alley, Candace Cameron Bure and Bristol Palin) and I don't know if Alan has the chops to handle it with the care that it needs.

Mauricio was a lot better than I thought he would be. He was also a lot more fun that I was expecting. I'm not the biggest RHOBH fan, but of the seasons I have watched, he is not the liveliest person. So it was nice to see this side from him in this jive. The dance was competent. He has potential. I just don't see him going any further than week 4 (and that's being nice). Everything I said about Ariana's fanbase? That's doubly true for Mauricio. The one thing that would save him is Emma's fans.

Tyson was actually not that bad. I think Jenna needs to figure out a way to break the model habit that he falls into. He makes beautiful pictures with some of his poses. All the in-between is kinda ugly though. But there is potential. The moonwalk, his hips and that split at the end showed me that he can be good. It's just gonna take work. I'm not sure if Jenna is up to the task though. I think back to Karamo and how much she kinda stank that up. So hopefully she's learned from the mistakes of the past.

What Was That? (The Ugly)

Alyson, girl, I'm sorry but that was not good. And Sasha's choreo kinda sucked. I don't typically say choreo sucks, but that did. It was very juvenile and there was an arm move at the end that I wasn't sure if it was a mistake or if it was choreographed that way? I was confused. I hope that she does better next week with those first week jitters out her system. How much better, I'm not sure. But I just want her to understand rhythm.

Harry seems like a cool guy. I liked the little friendship he's got going with Tyson. It's cute to see them connect with their bad scores and then just have a good ol time. And it was nice seeing Rylee out on the big kid stage. That being said, he's bad. She did the best she could with him and he did the best he could. But it wasn't good. That being said, he's not a no hoper. When the shirt got undone, he loosened up a lot and the dance did get better. So whatever that feeling was, Rylee needs him to sustain it through the entire performance. And maybe, he might really play spoiler for quite a few folks (cuz the personality is definitely there).

So that's it. We're back y'all. Hopefully this season goes better than this first week went. Let me know what you all thought of the premiere and I will catch y'all next week (or in my inbox this week, answering questions and things).

[spurgie-cousin]

Follow up to an ask I sent a few weeks ago about kitchen table cult pod—I’ve been listening more or less in order from the beginning while doing chores and driving etc. and have gotten pretty far in (I’m in the second season now, like 9 episodes into season 2). I definitely stand by my initial thoughts to a degree, but after adjusting to the conversational style a bit I think it’s definitely worth the listen if you’re patient with it and don’t expect it to be what it isn’t. Both hosts have irked me at times…one more than the other as I go further into it. Just in the same sense of like. I could see myself potentially being friends with this person, but I would often be annoyed with their mannerisms and some blind spots they’re boldly overlooking on personal segues. There’s several episodes I get frustrated with and skip over when I’m part of the way in. I’m not obsessively rewinding to catch things I’ve missed when I forget to pay attention nearly as often as other pods I’ve tried (I’m new to podcasts generally as I’m not great at auditory processing (autism/adhd) and used to find it wayy too taxing to try to take in media that way, but I digress). BUT I’ve learned about a lot of topics for the first time listening to it, and I’m pretty in the weeds on fundie stuff and cults generally etc., and that’s led me to go off on my own research tangents to explore the new info further which is cool. It’s also super interesting listening to experience of other homeschooled evangelicals that were outside of IBLP (and most of the other big movements people are aware of on here…they talk about vision forum sometimes but they don’t seem to have been deep in the weeds with any particular subgroup we talk about). IMO it’s been a pretty interesting listen so far, even if a lot of it isn’t super meaty or new. I will also say it’s clear an effort is being made as they go to be slightly more professional and structured.

Experience/substance wise I might compare it a little to why I found it worthwhile and interesting to watch alll the backlogs of the 19kac and counting on and bates shows episodes. Most of it is crap, but you got little windows of insight into things where the shows were actually really revealing without necessarily intending to be. Like it’s not all intensely thought provoking, but still interesting enough to keep going. (Sidebar for my unpopular opinion that I think Kelly was actually much much much worse…at least back in the day…than many people seem to think she is, based on watching all the bates shows esp. older episodes and how the older kids talked about her in talking head segments etc.)

Figured I’d give the update. Might send in some of the specific things I learned about while listening later TBD. For now I’ll note that the Matt Shea episodes in season 2 are particularly worth the listen. Thanks for listening to my unsolicited and lengthy review lol.

I appreciate the review/recommendations! I also struggle with absorbing information from audio/podcasts unless it's super compelling to me for whatever reason, and I remember that definitely being a thing when I listened to a few episodes of this pod. I wasn't familiar at all with the hosts and they had a super informal structure for the conversation which I remember you warned me about, and no shade to them at all for that because they were new to it (in the eps I listened to) and that also just works for some people. But they weren't great at giving context or background for anecdotes and that made me lose attention.

I'll make a note of the Matt Shea episodes and give them a listen next time I get a chance. The topic itself is completely interesting to me, for all the reasons you mentioned above, so I get frustrated that my brain has to have everything a certain way before it will focus on the information in a podcast lol. I totally want to hear from homeschooled evangelical kids about their experiences from all different kinds of backgrounds, esp not IBLP-related because I feel like I've heard a lot about that in the last few years.

Maybe after the Matt Shea episodes I'll try some of the more recent ones where they've hammered out a structure a little bit. I'm currently balls deep in one about faith healing that I think will take a minute to finish, and I've been pretty hungry for cult content lately.

[kendrixtermina]

No.

I never rly got how ppl talked about "mystery vs character" those are two separate, opposed things

Those things are connected.

The mystery means that we're not sure about the specifics how & why, but at the same time it has a pretty clear & straightforward meaning on a character/emotional level:

She saved his life & he's grateful. He though she was dead but she may be alive.

He's suspicious because he has actual questions, but also because he's jaded & cynical after the loss of the Ponds & no longer quite trusts that something good might just fall in his lap, like there must be some trick or catch because there's always a catch. That's as much about his jadedness as the plot element (any good plot element is mostly about what it means & how the character's react to it, besides or in addition to concept coolness.)

He's also fascinated, yes, because big questionmark, but also because of her actual personality (that the intro episodes make a big point of blasting in our faces. ) It's all part of one thing.

There were ppl (me included) who loved her in Asylum of the Daleks before the arc was even suggested.

In her first couple of eps, comes in with her blasting defiant music, the story of her mom's souflé, a longer history, right away she's cocky, steadfast & intelligent, & effs a bit with the usual dynamic: In her debut episode she gets to outfox the Doctor a bit (& Jenna was explicitly cast cause she could talk faster than Matt Smith). In the second she's taking charge, grabbing his hand to make him run along, investigating him & getting in his business, we also see her being protective of youngsters, being reckless & having a sort of double life... we're introduced to the idea that she always wanted to go travel the world but put it off because those kid's mom died.

Also, it's not at all true that she "just thinks he asked her along because he likes her" - she's super onto him, questioning his suspicion & trying to find out what his deal is. It's very much a mutual fascination & intrigue, both because ?? and pure personality reasons.

She asks follow up questions & doesn't let him get away with vagueing (eg. when he says she reminds him of someone by way of simplification, she confronts him & tells him she won't be no one's replacement goldfish)

It's also his general thing that while he's apprehensive & jaded because everything he went through, he's also fundamentally ruled by curiosity & appreciation for the world (of which Clara is just one example) & so he always winds up getting attached again because the angst can't quite snuff out the curiosity & appreciation. That's why he keeps going...

The setup also has the effect of throwing this character who usually operates in one way into a situation he's not used to.

For example, from Bells of St. John Onward he's put in the role of the active pursuer, which he normally isn't. (esp not with the love interests) - normally plot throws him at ppl, they hit it off, & usually the other deuteragonists have complementary skills to the Doctor's (like down to earth ness, common sense or kindness) - which is generally how you design a core cast so every protag has something to do.

But in a long running show there's some value in experimenting around with ideas & trying out something different here & there; Just throwing some different kinds of characters together & have them react.

In this case, Clara's profile of skillsets & flaws is kind of similar to his: She's smart, confident & steadfast, with the corresponding downsides of that sometimes veering into calculating, hubris & having overly high standards for oneself.

& i mean, we've had smart & competent companions before, it's really the calculating & cockyness that stand out.

She doesn't like not being in control (which is also why she tells herself not to act on her crush beyond a playful way)

Far from her life revolving around him (at least not right away and not in the "satellite character" kinda way) she markedly doesn't drop her current pursuits but tells him to show up on her schedule (which isn't to bash the characters who hop in the TARDIS right away - Bill is shows as having big curiosity, Amy's adventurous (& at first, scared of commitment), Donna & Rose had very much fleshed out lives that were, however, rather meh at the start of their stories so running off for adventure is an obvious improvement, etc.)

People don't talk enough about how fascinating Elevenclara were. Like on the surface they seem like a very cutesy couple, they're sort of in the 'honeymoon phase'. But really the doctor sees clara like a puzzle to be solved, their relationship, as much as I love it, is actually a little fucked up.

Even one of the most popular "whouffle quotes" is a sign of this, "you are the only mystery worth solving". Clara thinks the doctor just asked her to come along because he liked her, and that's not entirely false, but its clear the main drive for him in series 7 is finding out who she is.

Meanwhile we also see the start of clara trying to prove herself to the doctor, putting herself in danger for him and taking charge when he is unable to. This obviously continues a lot in series 8-9, this is what I see people talk about as "doctorification".

But what's also interesting to me is that in series 7, the doctor seems to be Clara's only friend. The only other people we see her interact with outside of adventures is the kids she's nannying, and even they end up getting into trouble bc of the doctor. It creates an interesting dynamic where it seems like both their lives revolve around each other, and neither is trying to change that, in fact they're both driving it harder.

[perkvpsvcho]

cr c2 ep9

lucky bitch.

os ads do sam são hilários, pqp

acho que é esse o ep em que a laura berra irada I'M PREGNANT enquanto sai da mesa? lmao

feeling sad. good thing i have cr right

look at them cheating as a team, so wholesome

laura being competitive IS SO FUNNY

unpleasant one & obnoxious one

MARISHA E TALIESIN SE COMPLEMENTANDO AO BATEREM NA PORTA SOS THIS IS A REAL FAMILY

fjord master class in charisma - student: beauregard

HE SAID ENTHUSIASM!

kkkkkkkkkkkk dois botões, Nott!!

a focus ford

a tiny little fiesta

nott disfarçada de fjord TEM QUE TER NA ANIMAÇÃO

YAAAAAY MY BABY HAS ARRIVED and yasha is just there, in a hot tub, looking all cool as usual sigh so hot

[jester asking about molly's tattoos] what about the Prince Albert? KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

aw she's so sleepy poor baby

poor ashley whatever she goes is body tattoos [blindspot oi]

same, beau/marisha. same [thirsting over naked yasha]

we made 60 gold in 3 days nott: I STOLE 2 BUTTONS! yasha: oh... how nice... travis losing it:

it makes me sad that yasha doesn't count herself as part of the team, she keeps saying you and stuff, not being included ): SHE'S A MIGHTY NEIN TOO

OH OH OH THATS RIGHT YASHA IS A BARBARIAN AND ASHLEY STILL HAS NOT HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO START WITH HER CUTE LITTLE I WOULD LIKE TO RAGE omg i'm gonna die evey time she's so freaking adorable

NOT NOTT LEARNING HOW TO SWIM LIKE A DOG FOR FUCKS SAKE LMFAO

the single most precious baby

THE ANNOYING MISTRESS..? THE KNOWING MISTRESS!

mds a yasha só não é pior que o caleb pq ela tenta kkkkkk cute baby

[yasha not feeling comfortable enough to talk about her religion] nott: we can see your vagina! dm:

AS A VICTIM OF CAMPAIGN ONE, IT HAS TO BE KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK yes everything is a milk bath

NO ONE FUCKING TOUCH ME

they go "hi" and "hi" to each other and taliesin whispers something to her and she comes close and they just

yasha: pretty spectacular that [the rucy of the sea] is your mother beau: she has her own single [LAURA SHAKING HER HEARD NO] KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Ô CARALHO DE NOVO NAO

BEAU E FJORD MOM AND DAD DO GRUPO ENSINANDO A NOTT A MERGULHAR EU VOU MORRER DE AMOR

meanwhile nott volta debaixo d'água berrando que vai matar todo mundo

shoot your shot, beau

yasha: he [shakaste] called you baby a lot? beau: yeah i was kind of into it, i dind't feel demeaned by it. makes me feel good, makes me feel safe [no but same here pls]

gahd, it's good to see you [molly/taliesin pra yasha/ashley sou eu]

BEAUYASHA BOTH WAITING EVERY ONE TO GET OUT FIRST

askfjkfadkfkkkkdsjdsksksjaksjksk idiots]

laura: who gives up first? marisha: we're in hot tub chicken right now

yasha: i dont care to show anything, beau: NO? yasha: i just wanted to see everybody else naked first beau: it's kind of my thing ISTFG THESE TWO IDIOTS

yasha sai da água marisha pro dm: do i get a nice view? matt e ashley: yes PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN

hihihih fjord doesnt want to be away from jester is that i'm getting here????

UGGHHH JESTER I LOVE YOU

yasha socially awkward such a baby

aff ashley e esse pirulito enorme vou mmt

omg are they gonna fight? IS SHE GONNA RAGE???

yasha: i sense a little sarcasm in you, sir dmpc: it's a dwarven thing. i've got resting bitch voice

YOU PEOPLE HAVE LESS THAN 30 MINUTES TO LET ME HAVE ASHLEY SAYING I'D LIKE TO RAGE. DO NOT FUCK THIS UP

it's not happening, is it? i'm gonna be so sad

laura looks like a proud mama

YOU KICKED HIS CAT INTO OBLIVION!!! dm: i didn't

jester by herself is already the cutest, but when she talks to the traveler.... ugh. too much

matt: will be going to kentucky marisha:

AND ASHLEY WILL BE BACK ON THE NEXT EPISODE!!! 10000% CHANCE SHE'LL SAY I WOULD LIKE TO RAGE[

everything hurts and i'm dying but i want more ashley i want more yasha i want more mighty nein