#i got a little job for the summer at my uni it's not gonna pay much but it will be useful

[travestismo]

every day I have to do tasks. and even worse, every day I have to spend money

[cozy-mp3]

bro this has been on my mind for awhile IM SO READY

So modern!AU with Ellie x Black fem reader where Reader is a well known rockstar, shit like the runaways, the pretty reckless, KISS, all that stuff and Ellie is like their #1 fan and is such a simp for them just absolutely over them. Maybe one day reader is stressed over song writing and ellie helps them relax? (fluffy nsfw lol) i’m not sure if ur comfy writing for switch!reader but i’d like that for reader but if ur more comfy with sub that’s ok!! ILYYY❤️

word count: 4k (ish)

a/n: omg i had so many ideas when i read this tysm for prompting! this definitely got way more plotty than i intended, i hope u don't mind! this is another fic that i started off thinking it would be abt 2k words but it spiralled a bit lol. i tried my best with the switchy dynamics but i still feel like i'm not great at writing them, either way i hope i did ur prompt justice nonny <33

MINORS AND MEN DO NOT INTERACT OR I'LL CRY

you’re going to die in this room, you think. you’re gonna die in this stupid recording studio, on this stupid pleather chair that sticks to your thighs in summer, spinning in circles just to expel some pent up energy, watching your stupid mug of stupid coffee going cold on your stupid desk. you pause your aimless spinning and sigh, planting your feet on the floor so you can wheel back to the desk and run your finger down the side of the mug. it isn’t stupid and you feel a little bad for even thinking it, no matter how frustrated you’re feeling, it was a gift from ellie after your first tour had concluded. 

it’s from one of those online printing companies and is covered in pictures of the two of you she’d taken on tour, a selfie for every city she’d told you. it was cheap, because she was too busy with uni to find a second job and back then music wasn’t paying many bills, the printing has faded a little over the past three years and you’re pretty sure it isn’t supposed to go in the microwave because everytime you put it in there it comes out so hot you have to pick it up with the edge of your shirt covering your fingers. you love it though, she’d handed it to you a couple weeks after you’d come home and the excitement of playing a different crowd every night had been replaced with your part time job at the drugstore and playing to the same groups of regulars at the same few bars downtown.

you run the tips of your fingers over one of the pictures of her smiling face, it’s maybe your favorite picture of her ever, definitely top five at least. she’s wearing a shirt that’s a few sizes too big with crew printed over the front of it in big white letters, she’s smiling so wide her eyes are crinkled up and there’s lipstick marks all over her face from where you’d kissed her. you were into black lipstick back then, so they stand out against her pale skin, you’re more into red at the moment and she doesn’t let you kiss her face when you’re wearing it. apparently, there was a time she’d walked into a lecture with a lipstick stain on her forehead and she hasn’t been able to live it down, dina had told you the story since ellie had been too embarrassed to tell you herself. just when you’re about to start searching for your phone to shoot her a text to tell her you miss her, the door to your studio opens and there she is, as if you’d summoned her or something.

“how’d you know i was about to text you?” you ask, narrowing your eyes at her in suspicion as you take in her appearance. she’s wearing a shirt from last year's tour, your face printed on her left boob, below your band’s logo, she’s put on her batman pajama pants that she’s owned since before you knew her and she’s wearing crocs with tie dye socks. she looks like she’s just rolled out of bed and come over before she could get dressed in more appropriate ‘going outside’ clothes. she looks cute and soft, a little bit ridiculous and all yours.

“my girlfriend senses were tingling,” she tells you as she closes the door behind her, rubbing her hands over her arms to get rid of the chill she’d caught walking the short distance from the car to the door of the building, “you didn’t ask what i had for lunch or dinner and then i sent you three thirst traps while i was at the gym and you didn’t respond to any of them,” she says, waving three fingers in front of your face dramatically, “and then i tried telling you i was studying so you’d say you’re proud of me and i got nothing,” she continues, standing in front of you with her hands on her hips, “so i was laying in bed waiting for my ‘goodnight, baby, i love you so much, you’re the best ever’ text and when i didn’t even get that, i decided that i had to come to your last known location to make sure you weren’t being held hostage or, you’re not, like, mad at me or something, ‘cause i’m pretty sure i haven’t done anything wrong,” she finishes, she’s panting a little from talking so fast and it’s a testament to how much time you’ve spent around her that you understood every word she said.

“you didn’t do anything wrong, els,” you say with a smile, just to see her let go of the tension she was holding in her shoulders, “and i’m sorry i haven’t been checking my phone, i’ve had writers block for the past two weeks and i’ve been trying to work through it but i just can’t,” you sigh, holding your arms out and inviting her into your lap, when you moved into this studio you’d made sure to get a chair large enough to fit you both, not that you’d ever tell her that. 

“that’s rough, baby,” she says, her face is sympathetic as she climbs into your lap, her weight is warm and familiar and she’s kicked her crocs off to hang her socked feet over each arm of the chair, “‘m sorry it’s been hard, label been breathing down your neck again?,” she asks as she wraps her arms around your shoulders and tugs you into a hug.

“yeah,” you mumble into her chest, your cheek pressed right up against your own face on her shirt, it’s well worn and smells like the laundry detergent you use and the spicy perfume you’d gotten her for her last birthday, “they want the album done in three months and we’ve only finished five songs,” you say, a frown pinching your brows together. it’s frustrating, not being able to work at your own pace anymore, to be lectured if songs don’t do as well as they’re supposed to, to be told that you need them but they don’t need you.

“i’m sorry,” she whispers, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. there’s not much else to say, she’s heard you complain about the label before, about how the execs in their suits want you to change in ways you wish you didn’t have to. the contract had seemed like a good idea when you’d signed it, even with the cut they’d be taking you’d be able to support you both until ellie was done with uni, you’d be able to quit your job at the drugstore and spend all your time doing the thing you love the most with your best friends. those things were all still true, you toured the world and spent hours in the studio, you could afford a nice apartment with security and a bathtub so big it could fit you and ellie twice over, you just hadn’t anticipated the deadlines and restrictions, the way you felt trapped but the most free you’d ever felt all at once. 

“your hair smells good,” ellie says above you and your mind comes to an abrupt stop, you prop your chin up on her chest and look up at her face, she’s smiling at you with her sympathetic i love you and i’m sorry and i hate that i can’t fix it smile and you know her well enough to know it was an intentional change of subject. that she’s here and willing to listen if you want to share, but she’s also offering you an out, something to talk about that isn’t stressful and a little bit more painful than you’ve been able to admit to yourself until now, when you’re sat in the place you love most with the person you love most, feeling like you could cry.

“it was wash day a couple days ago, i tried a new shampoo,” you tell her and she smiles a little wider, shifting around to get comfy now the conversation is veering away from anything too serious, “the girl at the beauty store recommended it, it’s so fucking expensive but it works so well,” you sigh with an exaggerated pout, you can’t keep it up as ellie squeezes her arm around your shoulders, leaning down to kiss your nose.

“it’s daylight robbery, baby, i’m sure,” she smiles, not able to keep the amusement out of her tone as she looks down at you, one her her hands shifting to cup your cheek, “you’re cute,” she tells you, using her hand to squish your cheeks together until your lips pucker up.

“i’m not cute, i’m literally in a rock band, i can’t be cute,” you tell her, baring your teeth and furrowing your brows into what might be a scary expression if your cheeks weren’t still squished together in her hand. you know you must look ridiculous because ellie starts laughing, her head thrown back and her shoulders shaking with the force of it, her hand lets your face go to hold on to your shoulder again, squeezing you gently when you laugh along with her.

“sure, sweetheart,” she says once she’s caught her breath again, her eyes bright and happy as she looks down at you, “not cute at all, whatever you say,” she nods with a slightly mocking lilt to her voice, she’s glancing between your eyes and your lips and you lean up to kiss her before she can kiss you, your hands holding tight onto her hips.

she sighs happily against your mouth and shifts one of her hands to the back of your neck, stroking her thumb over your skin, you don’t let her take control when she tries, nipping at her bottom lip and smiling when she groans against you. the kiss lasts a little while longer before you notice her squirming each time your tongue presses past her lips and into her mouth, you shift your hands to her inner thighs, squeezing the soft little layer of fat she has there. she moans into your mouth and you pull away to show her your smile, one of your hands letting go of her hip to gently pinch her red cheek.

“i missed you,” you tell her as she leans down to rest her forehead against yours, her eyes searching yours for a moment before they still, “was looking forward to coming home all day,” you whisper, your own face heating up at the admission, you look down at your lap so you don’t have to look at her, instead watching the way her thighs tense when you squeeze her again.

“missed you too,” ellie says, scooching as far into your lap as the chair will allow, “i know you had a hard day, but we’ll work it out, ok?,” she says with an encouraging smile, squeezing the back of your neck gently and nudging your nose with hers until you meet her eyes again, “i believe in you, and i know you can do it on your own, but you don’t have to,” she tells you, “you have your bandmates and you could call that one producer who worked on your last album and you have me, and i’ll help as much as i can, ok?” she asks and she looks so earnest you feel like you might cry if you open your mouth so you just nod, pressing your face into her neck so you can close your eyes and push back the wave of emotion.

“i love you,” you mumble against her skin, not knowing how to express your feelings in any other way, you know she understands because she knows you like you know her, she knows that you feel warm and grateful and so much better than thirty minutes ago when everything felt so frustrating and hopeless. ellie’s hand is steady and warm and it doesn’t leave you as she slides out of your lap, her thumb brushing over the bump at the top of your spine.

“come sit on the couch,” she says, her other hand tugging one of your wrists gently, “i can’t cuddle you properly on your chair,” she tells you, pressing a brief kiss to your lips once you’re up on your feet, “how long have you been sat down? it’s bad for you to sit all day, you’re gonna get bad knees or something,” she says as she lays down on the couch and tugs you to lay in front of her.

“don’t act like you don’t sit on your ass for hours at a time too,” you huff, gently flicking the end of her nose and smiling at her scrunched up face, “but fyi, i got up a few hours ago to walk up and down the hallway, and a little while before you got here i got up to make coffee,” you tell her, pointing over your shoulder in the general direction of your desk. ellie’s lips quirk up when she notices the mug and she makes a wounded little sound before cupping your cheeks and kissing all over your face until you squeal and push at her shoulders.

“you’re so cute,” she tells you again, her brows furrowed like she can’t quite believe it and her voice a little whiny, “stop saying you’re not cute, you’re the cutest ever,” she says as she tugs you against her chest and squeezes, her legs tangle with yours so she can pull you even closer, until your breath is mingling with hers and your chests are pressed together. you open your mouth to argue with her but she presses her finger to your lips and shushes you, “stop being hard on my girlfriend, she’s super cute, no arguing,” she tells you, yelping and pulling her hand away when you try to nip her finger.

you lean forward and kiss her before she can say you’re trying to maim her or something, it also disguises the way you were starting to squirm from her attention, you know she’d only call you cute again and that’ll only make you squirm more. she sighs happily into your mouth as you cup her jaw and rests one of one of her hands on your hip, squeezing gently. you can feel every movement she makes, when she presses her leg between yours so there isn’t an inch between you, when her breath hitches, when she decides she wants more and uses the hand not attached to your hip to cup your breast. 

“you gotta scooch back a little,” you mumble against her lips, resting your forehead against hers so you can look into her eyes and smiling at her when her hips arch into yours and she whines in protest, “i wanna touch you, baby,” you say with an exaggerated pout, “i can’t touch you the way you want me to if you’re so close i can’t move my arms,” you chuckle, letting her kiss your pout away before she moves backwards, her body squeezed up against the back of the couch so you can get a hand between your bodies. 

the couch is a bit small for the two of you and you have to wiggle around a little to get comfortable again but it’s worth it to be able to tug her shirt up and slide your hand around to grip her ass beneath her pajama pants. you pull her back against you with the hand you have on her, squeezing the soft flesh beneath your palm, she’s more muscle than fat and fits into your hands easily when you grab her.

“why are you wearing fucking jeans,” ellie grumbles as she works the button of your pants open, her fingers fumbling since she can’t see what she’s doing. she fumbles for a second more before she manages to pop the button, her fingers making quick work of the zipper so she can push her hand into your pants and cup you through your panties. she doesn’t do anything more than rest her hand over the shape of you, her mouth attaching to your neck when you whine frustrated.

“i’m wearing jeans because they make my ass look good,” you tell her, using your hand that isn’t down her pants to cup the back of her head, holding her against you, “stop teasing,” you say, tugging her hair until she groans and kisses back up to your mouth, pulling her hand out of your pants so she can use it to tug your jeans down your thighs. you wiggle your legs a little to help her, having to be careful to avoid kicking her in the shin since she refuses to move her legs at all.

“ok, there we go,” she sighs after she’s tugged them low enough that your thighs can spread for her, “i won’t tease now your pants aren’t getting in my way,” she hums, kissing the corner of your mouth as she runs her fingertips over your panties, pressing lightly over your clit. she smiles when you moan and presses harder, rubbing wide circles until you pinch her ass in retaliation, her hips jolting towards you to try and escape your hands.

“you said you wouldn’t tease,” you tell her when she gives you a betrayed look, though you pat her butt in apology and pull your hands out of her pants, “i’ll show you how it’s done,” you say, having to hold back a laugh at the way she raises her eyebrows in disbelief. you open your mouth to continue speaking but she tugs your panties aside and brushes her fingers against your bare cunt before you can, any words you were about to speak replaced with a moan.

she smirks, the way she always does when she’s making you feel good and she knows it, you can feel yourself get wetter with each pass of her fingers over your lips until they’re making a slick sound each time she moves. you drop your head to her shoulder and close your eyes for a second, just feeling her hand between your legs and her arm looped around your shoulders to keep you close. 

it takes you a moment to pull yourself together, but when you do you push your hand back down her pants, the front this time. she isn’t wearing underwear and you lift your head from her shoulder to raise your brows at her, she only shrugs and blushes a little, not offering any more of an answer than that. you kiss her warm cheek and then her lips because she’s right there and you can, she moans into your mouth when you brush between her legs, she’s already wet enough to coat your fingers and you can feel the hair she keeps down there is damp with it.

you rub circles over her clit with the pads of your middle and pointer finger, you aren’t kissing anymore though neither of you have pulled away, your lips still brushing together. her eyes squeeze shut as you brush over her entrance and she mirrors the action on you, the pad of her finger pressing into you slightly as you clench around nothing. you whimper and press your lips back against hers as you push a finger inside of her, curling and stroking against her walls, she’s tight and hot and wet and it makes you clench your thighs shut around her hand. 

she chokes on a laugh that turns into a moan at your reaction, resting her forehead against yours as she pushes two of her fingers into you, curling them into your most sensitive spot and only waiting a moment for you to adjust before she begins to move them. her lips brush against yours again but she moans before she can kiss you, her brow furrowed with pleasure as you try to mirror the pace she’s set, though it’s hard to concentrate on how your hand is moving when it feels like she’s working you to an orgasm already. 

“i’m so close, els,” you sigh, you can feel yourself clenching tight around her knuckles, the sounds she’s drawing from between your legs only getting wetter. she nods as if she already knew, her fingers moving faster as you press your thumb to her clit and begin to rub in tandem with your fingers inside of her. her cunt clenches around you tightly and she’s wet enough now that you can feel it run all the way down to your wrist, you smile at her flushed face, moving the small distance to kiss her again though the two of you keep having to pause to moan and whimper.

it doesn’t take long before you’re bucking your hips into her hand and detaching your mouth from hers so you can moan into her shoulder, managing to pant out another warning before you’re cumming around her fingers. your pussy gushes and ellie coos at the blissed out look on your face, she says something about you being cute but you’re too far gone to do anything about it, your brows furrowed and your thighs shaking around her forearm. 

“lemme take care of you,” you whisper when you’ve ridden it out, ellie’s pulled her fingers from you but they're still between your legs, rubbing lightly around your clit and brushing through your folds as you shudder through the aftershocks. your fingers had stilled as you came, your mind too occupied with your pleasure to continue pleasuring her, you kiss her shoulder in apology and begin to move them again. your thumb slides easily over her swollen clit and she grinds her hips down against your hand so your finger presses into her deeper, your palm almost flat against her body.

“‘nother one please, baby” she moans, her nails digging into your shoulder though the fingers brushing over your cunt are still gentle, it isn’t enough stimulation to be uncomfortable so you don’t move to push her away, but you can feel how soaked you are and you hope distantly that you’re not staining the couch. you oblige her request and push a second finger inside of her, she opens up easily with how aroused she is and she groans as you curl both fingers towards your thumb, rubbing against her clit more firmly. 

you can feel as her pussy flutters and her clit throbs, as her thighs tense and her brows draw together before she cums, her release coating your fingers thoroughly. she pants into your neck as you work her through it, shifting your thumb away from her oversensitive clit but leaving your fingers pressed as deep inside as they’ll go, massaging her clenching walls. 

the two of you lay together in silence once she’s finished, her breath coming out shakily against your skin and your chin resting on top of her head. she presses her legs together until you get the message and remove your hand from her pants, her hand still between your legs, brushing over your swollen pussy as she finds her voice again. she likes to do it sometimes, feel the mess she’s made of you, how you wet you’ve gotten for her. 

“did you eat dinner yet?,” she asks, frowning and pulling back so she can see your face when you shake your head, “baby, you gotta take better care of yourself,” she sighs with a pouty bottom lip, you resist the urge to argue that she’s just as bad as you are at remembering to eat when she gets absorbed in a project, instead kissing her pout away and cupping her cheek.

“how about,” you start, the persuasive lilt to your voice so obvious that ellie shakes her head at you, she looks fond now, at least, “let me finish, els,” you tut, kissing her again and brushing your thumb over the apple of her cheek as you pull away, “how about we go home and order food from that mexican place that’s open late before bed, and tomorrow i’ll work from home,” you suggest, “maybe i need a change of scenery,” you sigh, your brows pinching together in thought.

“sounds like a plan, sweetheart,” ellie hums, using the hand that isn’t messy with your cum to smooth out the frown you’re wearing, “we gotta clean off first though, you fucking soaked me,” she chuckles as you groan, embarrassed, and bury your face in her hair.

[hecate-fem]

One of the issues in “Call me by Your Name” that I’ve only realised after going back to it (thanks Uni) is the poor characterisation of women.

Elio’s Mother for starters. We know virtually nothing outside of her role as “Mum” and that she’s also well-educated like the rest of them. We don’t know what she does for a living, or what sort of person she is outside of a source of comfort for Elio. You can try to argue that since the book is from Elio’s perspective, of course he’s going to see her as comfort but we know what the Dad’s job is. We know more about his life outside of family than we do the Mother’s. She also isn’t let in to the conversation all that much. In the film when Elio brags about how he almost slept with Marzia, when his Mother says something about it, his Father is quick to shut down the conversation. Again in the film when Elio asks his Father if his Mother knows about the relationship between him and Oliver, his Father says something like “I think she doesn’t.” Elio is shown to be quite comfortable with his Mother, being more physically affectionate towards her, and they are shown to have a close relationship. At least close enough for her to have the same chances of noticing him and Oliver together as Elio’s Father does. Say I’m reading too much into it, I’m a literature student idc, but her not being included in these conversations implies that she’s not important enough of a character to be involved.

You can argue that since this is from the perspective of Elio, of course he isn’t going to pay much attention to his Mother. Well, Elio clearly tells us what his Father does for a living and takes the time to talk about their education, why not tell us his Mother’s profession? Flesh out her character a bit more? You did it with the Father, what’s stopping him from at least briefly mentioning his Mother is something? Even if it’s just explicitly saying she’s a stay at home Mother (given the family’s wealth and her education I have my doubts).

Next up is Marzia. Who deserved so much better. When Elio breaks off their brief romance in favour of Oliver she forgives him. Sure, up to her, but this only really benefits Elio, it shows his feelings as the ones that are more important. It shows his feelings for Oliver outweigh any hurt he did to Marzia and they didn’t even have an in-depth conversation about it! She just sort of got hurt and then forgave him at the end of the book. It’s also evident that he’s using Marzia as a way to push away any attraction he has for Oliver, to help build the tension and raise the stakes. Problem is, when he and Oliver do get together he just discards her. Again, the argument of the book and film being Elio’s perspective and him being 17 means he’s gonna be a dick can be presented. But again, Marzia’s characterisation is extremely lacking. She isn’t anything outside of a plot device for the story. We know virtually nothing about her, what her personality is like outside of forgiving and attracted to the male protagonist. There seems to be a pattern here.

You have the housekeepers, who are also female and again, lack characterisation. You’d think with Elio being familiar with them, we’d get at least a little bit more on what they’re like but no. They’re just there to serve him, like most of the other female characters.

And then there’s the woman that Oliver seems to have a fling with before getting together with Elio. She’s objectified by both Elio and Oliver, evident when Elio says “She’s more beautiful than last summer.” Again, despite Elio being somewhat familiar with her, she lacks characterisation. She’s a woman who’s beautiful and is attracted to Oliver, giving Elio a reason to feel jealous. Another plot device.

And finally, the woman Oliver gets married to. I’m nitpicking here but consider this revenge for the gross fucking age gap. She’s only there to ensure the Happy End doesn’t happen, she snatches Oliver away for good and the only thing we know about her is in relation to her on-off relationship with Oliver. It’s something that could have been mentioned over the summer if they opened a topic about previous relationships, but that doesn’t fit the whole “romance in a bubble” vibe this story has so I get it. I just don’t like it.

And to people who still insist that this is all because it’s from Elio’s point of view and that I’m being too critical. Think back to the beloved book, after Elio masturbates into a peach, where he looks at the peach and compares it to a rape victim. That line wasn’t necessary, the author chose to put that line in and leave it. You would have still had a similar effect with the description of the peach being bruised, no need to make a comparison to rape. It’s fucking insensitive to say the least. And if you argue “it helps drive home Elio’s feelings of disgust at what he did” there were other ways of doing that! There were other ways of conveying Elio’s feelings without that goddam simile.

There are many other things wrong with this book. A seventeen year old dating a twenty four year old is a glaring one. And to those of you who say “well the age of consent in Europe is sixteen” Elio is also still a minor in Europe. And Oliver is American, so shouldn’t he at least be operating under the “eighteen is the consenting adult age” rule? Even if Elio was eighteen I’d still have issues, just because you turn eighteen you don’t magically become a mature adult. You’re still immature as shit in comparison to a twenty four year old. To conclude, I have many issues with this book and the author who wrote and defends it because that’s just really telling of what he’s like.

[loveislandthegamefan79]

Day 1: "Quizmaster Disaster" Part 4

Eddie and Ariella head to the swing to get to know each other in less than 30 minutes,let see who pays attention and who really just gonna play it by ear...

Ariella: How you doing babe? I wanted us to get to know each other better, but not like this...

Eddie: I'm doing fine beautiful,Yeah I know what you mean... it's day 1 and it's already been eventful...

Ariella: Well we better get to it,I imagine someone of the questions are going to be a little saucy...Do you mind if I start asking you some questions first?

Eddie: Sure go ahead I don't mind at all...

Ariella: How many brothers and sisters do you have?

Eddie: None, I'm a only child, What about you?

Ariella: I have 1 brother and 1 sister (I'll give a back story on Arielle life like job and family later on)...Ok,What is your favorite sexy position?

Eddie: I don't know if you heard of it before,but I call it side doggy….

Ariella: Oh wow,care to explain a little bit?

Eddie: it's like doggy style but we are on our sides... What's yours?

Ariella: Oh ok I believe I know what you mean by side doggy...And my favorite sex position is doggy but with a twist...

Eddie: Oh really....Care to share?

Ariella: Sure the only other person who knows what it is,is Suresh....but I lay flat on my stomach it's the best feeling ever...

Eddie: Sounds saucy to me...

Ariella: What do you do for work?

Eddie: I'm a model...what about you what do you do?

Ariella: I'm Doctor in training...I mean I have my PhD and all that...

Eddie: What field are you training to be in?

Ariella: I either want to be a surgeon or a psychologist...I haven't really decided on one yet...I'm actually doing a gap year from uni at the moment for personal reasons...

Eddie: I won't ask you,But whenever you're ready I'm here for you...

Ariella: I really appreciate that a lot...

Finn hollers from the fire pit for all the couples to start heading over...

Finn: Hey everyone 30 minutes are up, please head over to the fire pit...

All the Islanders head to the fire pit and sit in there couples, Shredded Quizmaster Finn stands in front with a stack of questions!

Finn: First challenge of the summer, beautiful people! I'm telling you these questions are absolute sauce.

Suresh: The naughtier the better, right Kat?

Kat: As long as it's with you sexy,Also maybe a little with Finn, sorry hun just keeping it real with you.

Suresh: It's all good Babe I love a girl who keeps it 💯...

Ariella: I got to keep it real too, sorry Eddie...but I wouldn't mind getting a little naughty with Finn myself...

Eddie: It's all good Babe it's only day 1 we got to get to know everyone right!

Finn: You might only need to imagine it until tomorrow, Beour sorry, Eddie...

Eddie: No worries my man...

Suresh: Well Arielle is only imagining it with you...But me her already now naughty each other are in the bedroom...

Kat: Really Babe? I am sitting right here....

Ariella: Yeah Suresh have a little ounce of respect...And for your information I wasn't even thinking about you or our past sex life..

Alfie: Burnnnn! Ouch need some. Ointment for that burn geezer.

Suresh: Well either way I'm well pumped to getting to know you all better!

Finn: Anyone in particular my man?

Suresh: That'd be telling wouldn't it?

Suresh glances at you,

Kat notices this...

Finn: My man here's playing his cards close to chest, Arielle!...Ok shall we start the quiz,then? Let's do it. Kat and Suresh you're up first.

Finn: Suresh, what is Kat's job?

Suresh: Club Dancer! All the way.

Kat brings Suresh to his feet and sexily dances with him, balancing on the balls of feet as she drops down in front of him! Suresh big moves of his own,giving Kat a sexy dance in return, showboating to everyone else.

Finn: Bonus points for Kat and Suresh!

Kat: I love a man who can move.

Ariella: You're not the only one.

Finn: All right Suresh, what is Kat's fave sex position?

Suresh: Um Doggy?

Kat: Omg Suresh we literally just talked about this, weren't you paying attention? It's Reverse cowgirl all the way!

Finn: I'm sure it'd be a booty-ful sight...Suresh, what's Kat's biggest turn on?

Suresh: Yes! I know this one...Tonguing inside of her ear.

Ariella: Sorry but that's freaking gross and not my thing...

Suresh gives a cocky grin, indicating he thinks he knows all about how to turn you on.

Kat: Don't knock it till you've tried it. Sends me wild every time.

Eddie: Yum waxy!

Finn: Kat it's time to see how well you know Suresh now...What does Suresh think his best physical features is?

Kat: He's way more than one...But after seeing his moves, I'm gonna say his bum?

Suresh: Sorry hun guess you wasn't paying attention either.... it's my quads. Never skip leg day, boys...

Finn: Kat, what is Suresh's party trick?

Kat: Juggling? Just don't juggle your eggs over too many baskets, babe.

Suresh: I wish I could juggle but I'd say my party trick is doing the work, it's a dance.

Ariella: Not working out as you'd hope is it? Kat!

Finn: Well here's you're final chance to pull it back... Kat, what is Suresh's biggest turn on?

Kat: I reckon he likes it when a girl gives his tongue a little nibble...

Eddie: I reckon you're the one who's into that, Kat

Kat: Maybe one of you lucky boys will find out.

Alfie: That sounds pretty tasty to me...

Suresh: Wrong again Babe, It's sex noises during foreplay, Arielle know what I'm talking about, Her sex noise drove me crazy every time...

Kat: Can you please stop Suresh? Like for real we're literally coupled up and all I'm hearing is Ari,Ari,Ari

Suresh: Sorry Kat, sometimes I don't think before I speak...

Finn: Ok, Moving swiftly on... Arielle and Eddie it's your turn... Arielle, how many siblings does Eddie have?

Ariella: None he's and only child...

Eddie: Nailed it, babe.

Finn: You've defo got only child vibes. Bet you're always first to the last slice of pizza 🍕.

Eddie: Way off mate.

Finn: I like getting what I want myself in all fairness.

Kat: I think you might be getting plenty of what you want in the villa babe.

Dana: You know you're coupled up with Suresh? You was just literally on Suresh about his basically crackin' on...

Kat: it's day one and we all need to get to know everyone, don't we?

Finn: The Quizmaster awkwardly moves on, so... Arielle, what is Eddie's favorite sex position?

Ariella: Side Doggy...

Eddie hugs Arielle, things are heating up between them!

Finn: Last up Arielle, what is Eddie's biggest turn on?

Ariella: He's a leg man...He told some long sexy well toned legs is a major turn on for him...

Suresh: I'm a leg man myself if I'm honest

Eddie: Yes babe you are totally nailing this...Goes to show you was actually paying attention and have good memory as well...

Dana: Yes girl you're smashing it...

Finn: Let's see if Eddie was listening like you were. No pressure, man.

Eddie I thrive under pressure, bro.

Finn: What does Arielle think her best personality trait is?

Eddie: Being kind.

Ariella: Being Loyal... Sorry babes...in all fairness we didn't discuss personalities...

Finn: what is Arielle's job?

Eddie: We talked about this...Social media influencer right?

Ariella: Babe! no don't have a job at the moment I'm in uni but currently doing a gap year...And before you ask my parents are pretty well off and gives me a certain amount of money every month to pay my bills and get by...

Suresh: Ariella? You loved going to uni and working towards your PhD and psychology degree...what happened?

Ariellea: I needed some time away for a while for personal reasons...

Alfie: What were you saying about pressure, geezer?

Suresh: Oh, I see...

Suresh clearly knows what she mean when she needed personal time...There breakup really hit Ariella hard,she went through depression for a couple months her parents mad her come home for a while to make sure she was going to be ok...

Finn: Last up, what is Arielle's party trick?

Ariella: Crap!

Eddie: It's ok babe... I'll take a guess... who knows I might get it right...I say party trick is.....I'm sorry babe I literally don't have a clue...

Ariella: Belly dancing while balancing something on top my head...

Finn: I'd pay to see that Ari...Sound real sexy I bet it would be better to see in person 😉😘...Ok time to move on to Dana and Alfie....

Finn: What's does Dana think her best personality trait is?

Alfie: Easy being Funny...

Dana: Yes babe...

Alfie: For real my girl got jokes...

Finn: What's Dana's job?

Alfie: She works in a bar...

Dana: Yes get it Alfie...

Finn: Ok last question Alfie...What is Dana's party trick?

Alfie: Easy, putting her first in her mouth...

Dana: Yes Alfie, I love that you paid so close attention...

Alfie: Beautiful, I will always pay attention to what you have to say...

Finn: Ok Dana, Time to get thrown into the deep end and see if you was paying as good attention as Alfie was...Dana, what's Alfie's job?

Dana: Easy, Carpenter...

Dana and Alfie high five each other...

Finn: Dana, what is Alfie's favorite sex position?

Dana: Doggy...

Alfie: Your proper nailing this babe...

Finn: Ok last question... What is Alfie's biggest turn on?

Dana: This is to eas...He told me he loves his chest being kissed, especially his nipples..

Finn: Didn't see it being that wow...

Alfie: Yes Dana, we smashed it...

Finn: Ok boys, it's time to make the most of tonight in your couples. It may be your last... Finding out these saucy deets has got me even more excited to get to know you gorgeous girls...Especially yours Ariella...Maybe we'll all hear it tomorrow...if I couple up with you.

Kat gives Finn sex eyes clearly thinking she's the fave for tomorrow's recoupling.The Islanders break into groups as they leave the firepit, the villa awash with nervous whispered excitement about how tomorrow's recoupling drama will unfold...Suresh and Finn hang back, wanting to talk to Arielle...

Suresh: Hey Arielle, Do you think I can grab you for a quick chat?

Finn: Sorry to be that guy, Suresh. But there's something I need to tell you Arielle..Mind if I jump in first please,Fella?

Suresh: I do mind, mate. I've got things I need to tell Arielle too...We never finished our conversation from earlier...

Finn: Well I want to get Arielle alone to say what I have to say...

Suresh: I guess it's up to Arielle to decide who she wants to talk to first...

Finn: You could stay and talk to both of us here that's if you wanna play it safe...Or if you want to talk to us properly,we could have a longer chat somewhere more private?

Alfie: I think we should do that, especially with tomorrow's recoupling coming up!...

Arielle: You've intrigued me,Finn. Let's head to the terrace...And then I'll be ready for you after, Suresh!

Suresh: I'll find you, Ariella. Believe you're not easy to miss!

Finn: Propy chuffed. I've been hoping for some alone time with you since I first saw you, Beour.

Finn gives you his arm as he leads you to the terrace...Suresh winks in anticipation of seeing you soon! You sit on the intimate, plant-filled terrace and steal a glance over the wall at the Islanders in the garden below...Finn scoots close to you and grins at you coolly.

Finn: Beautiful isn't?

Ariella: This view is amazing...

Finn: I wasn't talking about the terrace view...I was talking ing about you..Do you even know how beautiful you are?

Ariella: Why thank you Finn... You're very handsome yourself...

Finn: So what's the deal with you and your ex? It's seems like you have a lot of history?

Ariella: We do have history...And him being here and seeing him after all this time has my head totally gone...But I hope him by here doesn't put you off me?

Finn: Heavens no it doesn't, You're the main girl that caught my eye, I really want to get to know you... I know there was some stuff in the couple quiz...But I want to know so much more...Like what is your biggest turn on? Never got to find out in the quiz...

Ariella: I love my neck being kissed, it does it for me every time... what's yours?

Finn: Very interesting and very good to know...And mine is a little bit of nibbling?

Ariella: Really? Where do you like to be nibbled?

Finn: To be honest all over...I don't mean hard bites or anything...I like soft little nibbles...

Ariella: Hmmm...Very very interesting...Might have to test out that theory if you couple up with me,huh?

Finn: wouldn't mind if you did to be honest...

Ariella: So has any of the other girls intrigued your interest?

Finn: To be totally honest with you, your all really gorgeous,and I'm pretty sure that Both Dana and Kat will pull for chat's...which I guess is only fair, But if I'm totally honest with myself... You're the only girl that's peaked my interest...

Ariella: Well I'm totally honored, and you've peaked my interests as well...

Finn: Can I ask you a question? I know this might seem a little forward, But would you pie me if I tried to kiss you right now? I tried to fight the urge of wanting to kiss you, but those eyes and those lips are to captivating?

Ariella: No Finn, I wouldn't pie you...I can't lie I've been wanting to kiss you too...

Finn takes your hand and tilts his head slightly study your face taking all your beautiful features in and getting lost in your eyes, he moves closer to your lips, you two kiss passionately...You immediately feel a spark with with something that you haven't felt since your ex your hoping Finn feels it too...

Finn: WOW 😳 that was absolutely breathtaking...I immediately felt a spark...Girl,What are you doing to me already?

Ariella: Your not messing with me are your? I was hoping you felt something too!

Finn: Believe I felt it....You just got my head spinning right now, good lord women...

Ariella: Can I ask you something? I know I probably have no right to ask this of you tho...

Finn: What is babe? You know you can ask me anything...

Ariella: I know you've got to get to know all the other girls and everything... This is Love Island after all, But that kiss we just shared was really special to me...And believe I don't just give my kisses out to just anyone... I'm not that type of girl...Sorry I'm rambling...

Finn: No it's fine, I think I know what you want to ask... You don't want me to kiss the other girls right?

Ariella: Well yeah! Like I said I really don't have the right to ask you that...

Finn: Ari, it's not a problem you don't have to worry about me kissing the others...If I did that it would make are feel less special...And I don't want you to think I'm that type of guy...We have a spark a connection and we are vibing...If the other girls try to or ask to kiss me I promise they'll get turned down...

Ariella: That does make me feel a little better,Thank you Finn....

Finn: No problem Beour...

You two sit there just looking into each other eyes no words or questions need Finn leans in for another kiss... It's even more passionate and Steamy than the last...You don't want to leave him,but you know you told your ex he could have a chat...

Ariella: Damn Finn, mmm mmm mmm, your making not want to go have that talk with the ex...

Finn: Good, my plan is working, ha ha ha

Ariella: Your a goofball,but for real let's head down, I owe him a chat and I know the girls are probably dying to talk to you...

Finn: Suppose your right... But we'll chat again later right?

Ariella: Most definitely 😘...

You both get up and head to the terrace do, Finn stops you turns you facing him,Cups your face with his hands, just staring at you,he takes his thumb and runs it across your bottom lip, he leans in to kiss you for the last time,The kiss still feels out of this world...If he don't stop your going to fall over, your knees are getting so weak... You pull apart just looking into each others eyes...

Finn: I'm sorry I had to one last time, I couldn't resist...Oh you might want to stop in the dressing room and fix ur lip stick...we kind of kissed it all off...I don't want ppl to start to gossip already if you know what I mean!...

Ariella: Oh thanks for the warning, I'll make sure I do that real quick...

Finn: Oh beautiful I'll catch up with you later ok?

You wave at him and you look for the same color lippy you was wearing before, reapply it and adjust your clothes and hair...you head down stairs and go out and instantly see Suresh sitting by the beanbags, you head his way so you can have another chat...

Ariella: Hey Suresh, You wanted chat ?

Suresh: Yeah I didn't get to fully tell you everything earlier, Seeing you again has brought back all these emotions and memories, I don't what to or think...And I don't really know how your feeling about all this!...

Ariella: Honestly idk how I'm feeling either...We haven't seen each other for a good while now... It's Strange seeing after all this time,And I still have a lot of questions about what happened...But this is day 1 one and I'm not ready to get into that yet...

Suresh... It's ok, whenever you ready I'm here....Man Ari sitting here talking to after all e time, it just seems so right! I've missed our little talks we used to have,we would just talk about anything and everything, I miss our little mini vacations we used to take,We would have so much fun, Remember?

Ariella: Suresh, that what you're seriously gonna do walk us down memory lane? You know whatever special little moments we shared or special memories, there all tainted right?

Suresh: I know they are, but I can't help it after seeing you everything just came flooding back to me...You know we've always had loads of chemistry, especially sexual chemistry...We could have that again if you would or could ever forgive me and give me a proper chance... Sitting here right now it's taking everything thing to not want to kiss you... But I won't, Please promiser you'll think about what I just told you?

Ariella: I can't make any promises right now Suresh,But we'll definitely be talking some more...

Suresh: Good I'll be looking forward to it... Do you think I can get a hug please? If it's not to much for you?

Ariella: I suppose you can get a hug...

You stand up,Suresh grabs both your hands and helps you,As you doing all this you have some on lookers,Mainly Kat and Eddie....You go to hug Suresh, his arms and his wramp and that scent of his colonge,feel and smells all too familiar... Your thinking to yourself while wrapped in his arms... I've missed this so much and I've missed him, tears start to form in your eyes you pull away from Suresh...

Ariella: Suresh I need....

But before you can finish your sentence Kat comes waltzing over with fire in her eyes...Cause while in that hug Eddie pointed out to Kat that it looked like you and Suresh we getting a little to cozy with each others....

Kat: Suresh I need to talk to you now...

You go to walk away but Kat stops you...

Kat: This involves you too Ari...So just stay right where you are?

Suresh: Come on Kat it's not even that serious...All we we're doing is talking....

Kat: it looked like you were doing way more than that from where I was standing... Don't you see she still is holding a candle for you? Or are you blind?

Ariella: What the hell are you talking about Kat? All we did was talk and gave each other a hug....

Kat: Well in my opinion that hug lasted a little to long for my liking... Like seriously did you really have to hug him like that?

Suresh: Kat you need to Clam down....I asked Ari for the hug...You making unnecessary drama for nothing...

Kat: Unnecessary drama huh? It looks like Ari started this by accepting you and and it last to long...

Ariella: I don't have the head space to be dealing with this right now...So just back off will you? It's not like you care for him already you only been coupled up a few hours...and you were clearly flirting with all the boys in the couples quiz with someone of your comments...but any time Suresh was doing it you wasn't having it? I mean who do you think you are? God's gift to all men please!

Kat: How dare you talk to me like that?....You clearly don't know who your messing with Bitch....

Suresh: That's enough Kat leave Ari alone.... Let's just go and talk, ok?

Sorry looks at you and mouths "I'm So Sorry"

Kat: Ariella, just know this is far from being over....

They walk off, and you just stand there in complete and udder shock....

[lightupmyass]

Pairing: Professor! Namjoon x College Student! Reader

Genre: smut, slight angst, comedy and some fluff I think?

Warnings: unprotected sex, dirty talk, fingering, mentions of masturbation, slight soft dom Joonie, semi public sex, cream pie

Summary: Being the class clown is all fun and games, until you take things a little too far...

Word Count: 4218

You’ve been waiting for this for months. After a boring summer back home, you finally get to come back to school. Most people dread going back, but you loved it. Your hometown was so boring. You loved being at school, seeing your friends, meeting new people. It was exhilarating to you. You fix your hair one more time before grabbing your bag and heading to your very first class of the semester.

As you walk in, you smile wide when you notice a familiar face, and when you catch his eyes, he does the very same. “Yooo, no fucking waaaay.” You laugh, going up to your friend and high fiving him. “That’s my bitch! You didn’t tell me you had this class.” Taehyung laughs, pulling the chair next to him out for you. “Well you didn’t tell me either, man. Bro this is gonna be fucking great.” You smile. Taehyung has been one of your best friends since you started uni, sharing your sense of humor. He was the class clown everywhere he went, and you thrived together. You looked around, seeing a few other familiar faces, but no one you really talked to.

As you and Taehyung caught up, telling each other all about your summers, something else caught your eye. A man walked into the room, his blonde hair slicked back with a small strand falling onto his forehead, round glasses perched perfectly on his nose, and a dark blue button up shirt tucked into black slacks. He looked young, older than any other student, but too young to be the professor. You Tried to ignore him, but watched him out of the corner of your eye, seeing him set his things on the teacher’s desk and grab a marker from the white board.

“Alright, good morning everybody.” He turned to face the class, a small smile on his face, his dimples prominent, giving him an even more youthful look. “My name is Mr. Kim.” He says, writing it on the board. “I am your professor for English 3. Are their any questions before we get started?” He asks. One of the girls raises her hand, and he points at her. “Sorry if I’m being too forward, Professor, but how old are you?”  She asks, smiling at him. “Ah,” he chuckles, “I’m actually 27. I just graduated last year actually so this is my first year teaching.” He explains. Damn, he’s pretty young. “Any other questions?” When he asks that, you get an idea. You nudge Taehyung, smiling as you raise your hand. “Yes?” Mr. Kim asks, pointing at you. “Um yes, I have a question. Do you think busses in medieval times were just very long carriages, Sir?” You ask, Taehyung bursting with laughter the second you stopped talking, a few of the other students chuckling as well. Mr. Kim raised an eyebrow at you, putting his hands behind his back. “Do we have anymore questions about this class?” “Ooh, I have one Sir!” Taehyung raises his hand, a big, wicked smile on his face. “Can we do magic tricks in here?” Mr. Kim looked at him, a small part of his soul leaving his body as he realized what he had gotten himself into. Why did he become a professor? He may never know the truth. “Yes, you can absolutely do magic. In fact, if you keep asking me questions that waste my time and the class's, I’ll do one myself and make you disappear.” A round of ooohs echoed off the walls, Taehyung slumping down in his seat. For once in his life, Taehyung might’ve met his match. This made the young, handsome teacher all the more intriguing to you.

Over the next month you and Taehyung had stuck your claim as the class clowns, as you’ve been doing since the two of my met. You were a chaotic duo that made the best out of any boring lecture. You did ask a few more stupid questions in Mr. Kim's class, but he never acted upon that little “threat" he made on the first day. In all honesty, he didn’t seem like a bad guy. He was funny, sweet, and still super attractive. He was also very philosophical, always bringing up discussions in the classroom that were open for debate, which you gladly joined with complete seriousness. His face when you first spoke without making some joke for comic relief was one of shock, to say the least.

You enjoyed his class very much, but it wasn’t until one night that you really saw Mr. Kim for who he was. It was a night where you and Tae had decided to go out to a little bar that was off campus you two found during your second semester of school. It was quiet, relaxing, and intimate. Not many people from your school come in, so you don’t have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of fellow classmates (which you never worry about anyway but, you know). Tae had left you alone in favor of going home with a girl he had met, meaning that you were sitting at the bar, alone and bored. As you wave the bartender over to ask for another drink, you see a familiar, tall figure slouched on the bar, a big difference from his usual perfect posture, his normally slick blonde hair falling onto his forehead, looking as soft as a cloud.

Curious, you get down from your stool, making your way over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Mr. Kim?” You ask, grabbing his attention. He turns on his stool, his cheeks slightly pink as he straightens himself up. “Ah, Y/N. Didn’t expect I’d see anyone from school here.” He mumbles a bit, a slight slur in his voice. He must’ve been here for a while. “Yeah, uh, Tae and I come here a lot. Mind if I sit?” You ask, Mr. Kim nodding. Taking the seat next to him, the bartender brings you your drink. “Are you alright, Mr. Kim? You don’t look like yourself.” You ask. He stiffens up a bit, running his fingers through his hair, the action making his button up shirt tighten around his biceps and back. “Yes, I’m fine. Just kinda, drowning away the work week, you know?” He answers. “I’m sure being a professor isn’t easy. Especially with idiots like Tae and I.” You chuckle, Mr. Kim doing the same. “Nah, you guys aren’t that bad. I actually enjoy some of the things you two come up with. I mean, ‘who would win in a fight between a manatee and a praying mantis?’ like what?” He laughs loudly, making you feel good at the question you asked him just last week.

“I thought we annoyed you. You’re always so serious in class.” You admitted. “On the contrary, you guys brighten my day. Since this is my first year of teaching, I have to try and maintain a strict classroom in order to feel as if I’m actually doing a good job, but its always good to have a laugh every now and then.” He smiles at you, his dimples making your heart flutter. “Why did you become a teacher so early?” The question sneaks up on you, and you’re not sure if it was a good one or not, but you’re curious. “Honestly, I just needed something that would give me money while I wrote my book.” He answers. “Book? You’re writing a book?” He chuckles a bit, taking another sip of his drink. “Of course I’m writing a book. I’m an English major, its not like I can go get a CEO position in a big business with a paper that says ‘I know how to read and write good'.” He jokes, putting a smile on your face. “Well, Mr. Kim, I never expected you to be such a jokester.” You chuckle. “Please, we’re off campus. Call me Namjoon.”

For the rest of the night you both sat there, talking about his book, your childhood, pretty much anything that came up until the bartender called last round and you realized it was almost 4 am. “Oh, wow, I guess we should be heading out.” You giggle, the alcohol definitely running rampant through your system. You take your card out to pay your tab when Namjoon pushes your hand away. “Its okay. I got it.” You thank him, smiling warmly at him. “Are you okay to go home? Do you want me to walk you? Or call you an Uber?” He asks. “Well, we’re going back to campus, so I feel that an Uber would be better. Don’t want anyone to see us and get the wrong impression.” You point out, him nodding in agreement. He walks you outside, waiting with you. “You know, I have always wondered something about you, Y/N.” He says, catching you a bit off guard. “What’s that?” He stiffens a bit, putting his hands in his pockets as he props himself up against the brick wall. “You’re an amazing student, always turn in exceptional work, so why do you act out? Why not just go through school like normal and be great? Let your work and your character match?” The question actually surprises you a bit. “Well, I assume it could be related to the constant need for attention due to the lack of it from my parents, growing up as a middle child in a family of five kids.” You give him your honest answer. “That makes sense.” There’s a bit of a silence for a moment before he speaks again. “Tonight turned out a lot better than I expected. I normally drink alone, but having company was nice.” He smiles. “The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Kim. I had a lot of fun too. I saw you as an actual person for once.” You respond. There’s a moment when you turn to face him, his cheeks still tinged pink from the alcohol and his eyes hazy, his body leaning lazily against the wall. There’s a moment when your eyes meet, and the sounds of the last few people leaving the bar fades away, where its just the two of you, and you can’t help the way your heart races, an urge so strong you want to act upon. However, you don’t even need to, because before you know it, his lips are on yours, heat radiating between you in this moment, this moment of passion, where you forget who he is, what he is to you, where all you can think about is how soft his lips are, how his strong hands grip your waist, and how his chest feels pressed against yours. Before you know it, the moment is over, he pulls away with heavy breaths, leaving you cold with his taste still on your lips. “I-I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. God I’m such a fucking idiot.” He steps back, putting his hand on his forehead as he leans back against the wall. “No, no its okay. I didn’t mind-" You stop when you see him looking behind you, the light from headlights flooding where you were standing. “That’s the Uber.” He clears his throat, straightening himself up again. “Have a good night, Y/N. I’ll see you in class on Monday.” He says, and just like that, he’s gone, walking alone in the shadows in the opposite direction.

Another month passes by. You have to admit, there’s a lot of tension between the two of you ever since that night. However, the kiss has somehow made you even more dangerous to him. Not that he was afraid you’d tell someone, because for someone who was a loud mouth in class, you assured him you knew how to keep a secret. Yet the knowledge that he was attracted to you gave you more power in other ways. You started to dress a little different in class, hoping to tease him a little bit, the kiss making you crave more from him. Short skirts and sundresses were now your typical outfit, and you could tell that he enjoyed seeing them without him needing to tell you anything. Even after your chat that night though, you never slowed down with your stupid questions or remarks, keeping your title in the class. You liked pushing him a bit, trying to see where he’d draw the line. No matter how hard you pushed, he didn’t seem to waver at all.

Class started normally, just like any other day, Mr. Kim calling roll call and Taehyung answering with something stupid. It all changed when Mr. Kim asked “Does anyone have any questions before we start?” and oh boy did you have a great one for today. You raise your hand, the look of false annoyance already washing over his face. You know he loves your jokes, he just has to act like he doesn’t. “Yes, Miss Y/N?” Now is your time to shine. Maybe this’ll be his limit. “Ah yes, Sir, I would like to know, where do babies come from?” You ask, Taehyung immediately erupting with laughter as a few other student giggle, a few others groaning, sick of your bullshit. Mr. Kim nods a bit before responding. “Y/N, I need you to stay after so we can discuss your behavior in my class.” The seriousness in his voice scares you, the only thing able to come out of your mouth is a small “Yes Sir".

The rest of class drags on, the fear of what will happen after class making your stomach hurt. You wonder if you really did it this time, if you pushed him past his breaking point. The moment he dismisses everyone is the moment your heart drops into your stomach, Taehyung patting you on the back before leaving the classroom, leaving you and Mr. Kim alone. “Mr. Kim, I-" “Namjoon. Call me Namjoon now, Y/N. Its just us.” He corrects you, a bit of your worry fading away at the calm tone of his voice. “Namjoon, I’m sorry if I took it too far. I really am.” You apologize, and for once in your life its genuine. “Its alright, Y/N. Come up here.” He says, coaxing you to the front of the room with two fingers. You move quickly, something about the dominance he radiates right now overwhelming you. He gets up out of his chair, walking slowly to the door. “You know how much I enjoy your jokes,” he starts, locking the door, “but there is a limit. However, I do strive to be the best teacher I can be, Miss Y/N, and if one of my students needs help in a certain area of learning, I am willing to teach them.” He says, making his way towards you, the bottom of your ass already resting on his desk. “W-What do you mean?” You stutter, hoping that you understood him right. “Well, you asked me a question, darling. Do you want me to teach you?” He asks, his body now right in front of yours, towering over you as he presses himself against you. You can’t believe this is actually happening. All the tension between you two is at an all time high. You feel dizzy, the need for him to touch you in any way growing with every inhale of his scent, his cologne overpowering your senses. “Yes. Please, Sir.” You whisper.

Without hesitation, his lips find yours, the passion and hunger greater than that night, a newfound ferocity taking over as you wrap your arms around his neck, his hands gripping your thighs to lift you onto the desk. His hips nuzzle their way between your legs, your sundress riding up, making it easier for him to press against your core, your thin panties doing very little to conceal it. Small moans leave your throat, instantly swallowed by him, the kiss growing deeper and deeper by the second. Its not until he places his hands on your lower back, pulling you towards him to grind you against his growing bulge that you gasp loudly, tipping your head back and giving him access to your neck, which he gladly accepts, leaving wet, sloppy kisses all over he expanse of soft skin. You whine, moving your hips on your own in hopes of getting his attention. He hums against your neck, his hand moving from your back to your front moving your dress to cup your heat and rubbing you through your already slick panties. You’re speechless, the only response you’re capable of being whines and moans as he uses his knuckle to trace over your slit, pressing against your clit every now and then. Finally, you manage to form words, a small “please" escaping your lips. He pulls back, resting his forehead against yours as he looks down at your legs, slowly moving your dress up your thighs, your panties on full display for him. “And you’re absolutely sure this is okay?” He asks softly, tilting your head up by your chin to look him in the eyes, his other hand still rubbing your thigh gently. “Please, Namjoon. I need you. I’ve been craving you ever since you kissed me. I need you so bad.” You beg him.

“I know, baby. Me too. Seeing you in class every day dressed like this, wanting to taste your lips again, feel you on me, wanting to hold you and touch you and please you. Do you know what I’ve imagined? Hm?” His whispers in your ear, his fingers gently moving your panties to the side. “I've sat in this chair, teaching you and your classmates, just imagining how you feel. How you taste. Been dying to feel you around my cock, beautiful.” You gasp at his words, pure sin dripping from his lips. You can’t deny that you’ve thought about him too, your hand deep in your panties late at night as his name fumbled from your lips, imagining how nicely he’d stretch you out, how his soft lips would feel on your dripping cunt. Yet, as he slowly slide a finger inside of you, nibbling on your earlobe as he does, nothing could’ve prepared you for the feeling of intimacy you felt from him, the way he carefully pumps his finger in and out of you, twirling it around to make you feel all of it as he kisses your neck softly. This wasn’t the normal fucking you were used to. Even though it wasn’t the most ideal setting, you could tell there was something more. He leaned forward a bit, pushing you down to lay on the empty desk, your back arching as his finger reaches a new depth inside of you. His free hand roams your body, pulling the top of your dress down to expose your breasts, the lack of a bra delighting him. Another finger slips inside of you, his pace quickening as he grabs your breast, occasionally pinching your nipple, earning a needy mewl from you.

The way he curls his fingers in you has you losing your mind, your toes curling as your hips squirm, the slick sound of his movements making your cheeks red. His touch is driving you crazy, but you still crave more, the need to be stretched out even more unbearable. “Namjoon.” You moan, reaching down to grip his wrist. He stops, pulling his hand away from as he leans over your body, his clean hand ousting the strands of your hair out of your face. “What is it, baby?” He asks, concern laced in his voice. You sit up, running your hands over his chest, feeling the soft fabric of his shirt under your fingertips, the rigid lines of muscles hidden underneath tempting you. Curiosity takes over, your fingers moving to unbutton his shirt, his torso being revealed to you with every button. He stays silent, watching your movements as he rubs your thigh again, eager to figure out your next move. As you reach the last button, you pull the hem of his shirt out of his pants, now seeing the bulge in them properly, your mouth watering in anticipation. You’d love to have it in your mouth, but at the moment, you’re not sure if you have the patience for that. There’s always next time, right? “Need you.” You mumble, unbuckling his belt. A groan rumbles in his throat as you cup him through his trousers, his package a lot bigger than you had anticipated. “Well, I did promise to teach you where babies came from, didn’t I? What kind of teacher would I be if I didn’t follow through?” He chuckles, moving your hand away so he could pull his boxers down just enough for his cock to spring free, the large appendage bouncing as its released from its tight confines. You gulp, wondering if it’ll actually fit inside of you. You’re glad that you’ve been on birth control since you were 15, because right now you need to feel him inside of you.

He kisses you again as he grips himself, positioning himself at your entrance. “Are you ready, beautiful?” He asks, you nodding in response. The second he pushes into you is nothing like you’ve ever experienced. He moves slowly, the burn of your walls stretching around him making you lightheaded, but for him it was completely worth it. You wanted to be consumed by him, happy to let him claim you as his and not caring who knew. He groaned loudly into your ear, gripping the side of the desk as he fully sheathed himself inside of you. You’ve never felt like this before, never been so full in your life, and when he moves to pull back out, you bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from moaning loudly. “Ah fuck, you feel so good baby. Better than I ever imagined. Fuck.” He almost growled, pushing back into you as you gripped his shoulders, trying to steady yourself. As he starts to set a steady pace, you can already feel yourself losing control. He wraps his arms tightly around you, holding you as he pistons in and out of you, his gentle demeanor now gone as he fucks into you hard, leaving marks from his nails into your skin as you bite his shoulder, trying not to scream. “Fuck. So fucking tight and perfect. So fucking beautiful. Like you were -mmph- fucking made for me.” He groans in your ear, your whole body jolting with each  hard thrust of his hips. “Mm, fuck Namjoon. Feel so fucking good. Fucking me so good.” You moan into his ear, each sinful word giving him more bravado to give you exactly what you two have been craving since the bar. “Yeah? You like how I fuck you? What do you want, baby? Want me fuck you so hard you stumble out of this class room, huh? Want me to cum inside you so everyone can see the little trail of my cum dripping out of your dirty little pussy?” Holy fuck. You have never imagined that your uptight teacher was capable of such words, yet here he was, moaning them in your ear as if you were the only girl in the world as he fucked you senseless. “Oh, shit, please. I want it so bad. Wanna feel your cum. Fuck, Joonie.’ You whimper, your fingernails scrapping against his back. He lets out a loud moan, the nickname not going unnoticed as he grips your hips, pulling you onto his cock as he continues to destroy your insides. You can feel the heat building inside of you, his cock hitting your sweet spot perfectly. All you need is the small push over the edge. You lean back, reaching down between your bodies to feel your clit, rubbing it as he thrusts into you, the contact making you absolutely lose it. “Ah, shit, ah fuuuuck!” You whine, coming undone. It was powerful, washing over and making you see white. “Shit shit shit shit!” Namjoon grunted, pushing into you once more as you felt a warmth spread through you, his hips stuttering as he released into you. There was so much that with every slow thrust, small drips spilled out of you, leaving you a creamy, sticky mess.

You laid back on the desk, putting your hands above your head as you smiled, chuckling a bit at how good you felt. He leaned over you, resting his upper half on top of you as his cock softened inside of you. You wrap your arms around him, placing a kiss on the top of his head as he uses your breasts as a pillow, completely worn out. “Oh my god. That was, holy fuck.” He said between deep breaths, earning a giggle from you. “I know. Fucking amazing. Can’t believe I ever thought my own fingers could compare to that.” You joke, but he straightens up a bit, leaning on his hands, hovering above you. “Miss Y/N, did you touch yourself to the thought of me?” He asks, a cocky smirk on his face. “Maybe.” You tease, propping yourself up on your elbows. “Well then, I think next time you’ll have to show me how you did it so I can guide you properly on how to do it correctly.”

“Yes Sir.”

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of fics where Harry, Louis, or both boys come out during the course of the fic. We hope you enjoy! Happy reading.

1) Down On Your Knees, You Don’t Look So Tall | Explicit | 3445 words

Louis and Harry are friends, and best ones at that. Louis loves Harry more fiercely more than he's ever loved anyone, so he doesn't really have a problem with it when they start doing this thing. This wonderful, wonderful thing.

2) There’s Magic In This Life | Explicit | 7326 words

Harry comes out to the band as bisexual on a Tuesday.

3) Just Walk My Way | Explicit | 10271 words

Louis is a Victoria's Secret Angel, and Harry is the main act of the night.

4) End Of The World Tonight | Explicit | 12069 words

“You remember when you told me that you wanted to live with me for the rest of your life?” Louis asks. His voice trembles a bit, exposing exactly how much he hates what he’s about to do. How much he wishes that he wasn’t about to do it.

“I remember,” Harry says. His expression is a little lost, like he thinks that they’re about to have a fight and he’s not sure what they’re supposed to be fighting about. Louis closes his eyes because he has to, has to take a second to regain his courage. He can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep suffering, can’t keep killing himself trying to hide this. He’s ready. He’s been ready for a long time.

5) No Bleeding Hearts | Explicit | 12651 words

“I’m going to come out,” Louis says abruptly. His grip on the controller is tight, knuckles whitening. He doesn’t look at Harry when he says it.

“What?” Harry says. Louis sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“When we re-negotiate our contracts. I’m going to come out.” Harry fumbles with the controller and manages to set it down on coffee table without cracking it in half.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry says. Louis is still pointedly not looking at him.

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Harry,” Louis tells him. He leans forward and deposits his own controller on the table beside Harry’s before standing up. “I’m gonna go to the hotel.”

6) One More For The Stars | Mature | 16099 words

It's different, and Louis knows that, because Harry's got so much riding on this - a career and a future and his whole life. There's talk of him going first overall in the draft, of entering the NFL after only two years in college, of going to New York or Seattle or Green Bay, and Louis wants to be there for him, wants to support him and help him make decisions, but he also kind of wants to pin him to the bed and cry and scream, What about me what about me what about me?

7) Then We Talk Slow | Explicit | 20493 words

A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

8) Monsters At Home | Explicit | 21566 words

High School!AU. Everyone's eyes are on Harry, the beautiful, charming new student. Harry's only got eyes for the school golden boy: football captain Louis Tomlinson, whose homophobic father complicates matters a bit.

9) Brooklyn Saw Me | Explicit | 28537 words

In the cold and unforgiving city of New York, Louis doesn't have a home and Harry wants to give him one. But as their heartstrings become increasingly intertwined, and the snow continues to fall, home is getting harder and harder to find.

10) If Ignorance Be Bliss | Mature | 30429 words

Uni AU: Harry is too experienced, and Louis just wants to get to experience him.

11) Something Great | Explicit | 31064 words

In which a coincidence, instagram, a party, a piano and a planned coming out all come together to make two people fall in love. As it happens, it turns out to be a rather effective combination.

12) What Our Souls Were Meant To Do | Mature | 34106 words

All Harry’s father wants is for his son to marry as soon as possible and give their family another heir. All Harry wants to do is fall in love.

13) And Touch Me Like You | Explicit | 35971 words

The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

14) The Reason Is You | Mature | 37429 words

Louis is running out of time to find a summer job. His best friend offers him one that promises early mornings, late nights, long hours, and the best people he'll ever meet. Lucky for Louis, one of those people is Harry Styles.

15) The Sun Will Rise With My Name On Your Lips | Explicit | 37927 words

When Eleanor breaks up with Louis he finds it hard to keep pretending that Harry isn’t what he’s wanted since the day he first met him.

16) We’ll Get It Right In The End. | Explicit | 53612 words

Harry Styles is what the media is currently revolving around. He's young, he's attractive and apparently good at everything. A singer song-writer and the new face of Captain America soon encounters himself amidst a problem when he finds himself falling for the person he's not supposed to, an elite professional escort, Louis Tomlinson.

17) Cameras Flashing | Explicit | 81733 words

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

18) Electing Strange Perfections | Explicit | 84757 words

Back for the summer from university, 19-year-old Louis is faced with a massive problem: their new gardener is quite possibly the most gorgeous man he's ever met. Over the course of the summer, Louis and a 25-year-old Harry will learn that love can be found where you least expect it.

19) Here In The Afterglow | Not Rated | 88659 words

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

20) For Reasons Wretched and Divine | Explicit | 94655 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Ten years ago, Harry Styles was just a nerdy kid with one friend and a debilitating crush on the captain of his school’s football team. He thought the stars were smiling down on him the day he and Louis Tomlinson were paired for their end-of-term Literature project. But because Harry’s life is decidedly not a fairytale, the budding friendship quickly leads to the least happy ending of all time.

Now, Harry Styles is a household name. Barely twenty-seven with two Grammy nominations to his name, the singer-songwriter is poised to take the music industry by storm with his highly anticipated third album. So, what happens when the best producer in the business is also the only person Harry’s vowed never to speak to again?

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

kiss me in the d-a-r-k .epilogue iv.

monday night

masterlist

Warnings: dub con sex (oral, intercourse)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The reader has a late night.

Note: #ficdaddy #afterworkwriting #naughtythoughts #whatamidoing? Okay, so here’s more but might be a little break til the next because I’m exhausted and I’m thirsty but ya girl is also a disaster. Thanks everyone for your support and indulgence in my #pornfic lol🔥🔥🔥 I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply!

...

By the time you got off the subway, your fatigue had washed away your shock. The whole ride home, you felt him. Felt the afterglow slake away and the ghost of his touch. You swore it was a dream. A very vivid fantasy but you just wouldn't wake up.

You walked the block from the stop to your building with your hands tucked deep in your pockets. The city was overdue for snow. You shivered as your boots scuffed the pavement and you stopped dead just in front of the steps. There was a familiar car across the street. A rover, to be exact.

The horn tooted as your eye narrowed on the tinted window and the door opened. Steve stepped out and waved as he looked both ways down the street. You winced and tried to hide your anxiety. You were a terrible liar, worse with him. He saw through you like a window.

What was even doing here? You’d told him you were busy. How long had he been waiting? You sighed and dropped your shoulders.

“Hey,” You greeted him stiffly. “What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t help myself,” He reached out with a gloved hand and rubbed your arm. The gesture reminded you of Bucky. You gulped. “Tell me you’re not planning on turning in already?”

“I was planning on cramming for my exam,” You countered. “Not much sleep to be had these days.”

“I can help,” He smirked, “Keep you on task.”

“Really?” You challenged with a scoff. “I think I’m better off alone.”

“I swear,” His breath clouded in the frigid evening. “Come on, you can’t leave me out in the cold.”

“You really wanna hang around and watch me study?” You asked.

“Help,” He corrected you. “Come on, years of helping with homework has prepped me for this very night.”

“Alright, if only to get out of the cold.” You relented and dug for your keys. “I hope you don’t mind clutter. My apartment is...small.”

You led him to the front door. He was close enough that his warmth radiated over you. He climbed the stairs after you and you were out of breath by the time you got to your floor. He wasn’t. How pathetic you were. After a struggle with the janky lock, your door jolted inward and you welcomed him into your college nest.

“I know you don’t like coffee, but I can make you a tea?” You set down your bag as he closed your door. “I, uh, just toss my coat on that chair.” You laughed at yourself as you unbuttoned your jacket. 

“You know what, I could use a coffee,” He removed his coat and folded it over the patched armchair. 

You placed your jacket on his and pulled your boots off. “I was just gonna have some leftover pizza. Want a slice?”

“As gracious a host as you are a guest,” He looked around the small space. “Make your coffee. Get your books out. Tell me what you want. I’ll order in.”

“You really don’t have--”

“Ah,” He raised a hand as he pulled out his phone. “You have studying to do. Let me worry about dinner.”

You agreed with a nod and went about setting up the coffee to brew and dumped your text and notebook on the bed. Steve went through the options and you settled on Chinese as you poured milk into your mug and set it on the table beside your bed. You sat at the top of the mattress and opened your textbook.

He ordered and sat across from you. He pulled your notebook over and flipped it open. “What course is this?”

“Public discourse and Social Trends. Third tab.” You instructed and squinted at him. “What are you doing?”

“Helping,” He folded the notebook back and his eyes glossed across your writing. “Put that down. Quick review. Then you’ll know what you need to work on.”

You tilted your head and pursed your lips at him. “You should be in your hotel, enjoying the view, or the pay-per-views, or the minibar. You shouldn’t be in this hole helping me revise all this...garbage.”

“I am right where I want to be, sweetie,” He intoned. “Now stop stalling.”

-

It was just past midnight. You’d gone through all your notes and the cartons of fried noodles and sweet and sour chicken. Two cups of coffee as well. You sat with legs crossed as Steve reclined across the bed and closed your notebook. He yawned and tossed it atop your textbook. You leaned back on your pillows, his yawn was contagious.

“Alright, you’re free.” You said. “I feel...better.”

“Better? You got this.” He replied.

“I hope.” You muttered.

“Ugh, haven’t had a night like this since...since me and Bucky were in college.” He grinned. “Did you know we went to the same uni? I was in business, he was in Lit. That was his first degree, my last. He always was a do-gooder.”

You nodded. You picked at the corner of your textbook and kept your eyes to the bedspread. You could feel him staring at you. Shyly, you glanced up as the heat grew unbearable. “What?”

“I meant what I said...about Bucky.” He lifted a brow. “Would do him well to loosen up. You too.”

You swallowed and clenched your jaw. You chewed your lip, unsure how to divert the conversation. “I don’t…”

“Wait,” He sat up and the mattress shook beneath him. “You...already did it?” You looked at him, “That was your appointment?”

“Steve, I--”

“Oh, sweetie, that’s...wow. You see, you should enjoy yourself.” He reached over and squeezed your knee. His hand lingered. “Explore.”

“I wasn’t thinking. It happened so fast. I-I-I…” You huffed and hung your head. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t do that.” His hand crawled up your thigh as he moved closer. He pushed your books aside and sat next to you. “I’m proud, sweetie.”

“Proud?” You said confused. “For fucking my professor.”

“For being you.” He leaned in. “Tell me,” He kissed you and wrapped his arm around you as he pulled you close. “How did you do it? Were you on top? Was he?”

“Steve,” You warned and tried to wriggle away. “Really.”

“I wanna hear,” He purred. “Come on, tell me.”

You licked your lips and thought. You shook your head at your helplessness. You knew he wouldn’t let up. 

“We were in his office,” You started quietly. “I...kissed him.” You cringed as you recounted the scene. “I shouldn’t have but...uh, he kissed me back...Steve, I can’t…”

“Go on. You’re doing fine,” He urged as his fingers traced the line of your vee. 

“I was on the desk first and he...used his fingers.”

“Did you cum?” He rubbed just along the top of your thigh.

“Yes,” Your voice was raspy as your lip trembled. “Then he turned me around and--” Your lips moved but no words would come.

“He fucked you against his desk? Oh, Professor Barnes,” He mused as he picked your fly open. “How unprofessional.”

“I…”

“Did you cum again? While he was in you?” He asked. You nodded as he slipped his fingers beneath your jeans. “No panties?”

You closed your eyes as his fingers hovered just above your clit. “He came in them. I had too take them off.”

“Fuck,” He breathed. “That’s fucking hot.”

“It’s...I could lose my scholarship...he could lose his job.” You gasped as he flicked his fingertip over your bud.

“He has tenure and who’s gonna know? I’m not telling anyone,” He pressed his lips to your cheeks and rubbed you with his finger. Slow, tantalizing; enough that your thighs began to tingle. “It was nice, wasn’t it? The rush? Up in his office like that?”

“Y-y-yes.” You confessed.

“Like the summer? Kylie just down the hall...asleep. We could’ve been caught so easily,” The glimmer of guilt at the reminder was muted by the lurid thrill. “Oh, sweetie, you’re so wet already. Is it for me or him?”

You bit your lip and breathed through your nose. You shook your head. He stopped and you looked to him sharply.

“Tell me.” He demanded. 

“Y-y-you…” You blurted out. “...and him.”

“Tell me what else you want him to do? How do you want him to fuck you?” He tickled your cheek with his nose as he inhaled your scent.

His finger began to moved again and your eyes threatened to roll back. Your thoughts blurred together and the last of your willpower drifted away. Your lip quivered and your voice rose in gasps.

“I want his mouth on me. To feel his beard against my thighs.” You grabbed his wrist as the sparks flew and bounced around your core. “To drink me up until I cum.” Your voice thinned. “I want him to push my legs up and fuck me until I scream. I want him to be rough with me. To not stop even when I beg--” Your breath caught as the coil wound tight. “--when I beg him to--STOP!”

You slipped from his embrace and pushed yourself back against the pillows. Your thighs squeezed his hand and as you lifted your pelvis and came loudly. You shook as you dove over the edge and plummeted to the depths with a shout. Your hand rested on his as he stilled his fingers.

“Can I fuck you, sweetie? Like that?” He slowly pulled his hand from your jeans.

You nodded frantically and caught his hand. “Please,” You panted. “I want you. Not him. I want you right now, Steve.”

He smirked and bent over you to kiss you. He drew his hand away from yours and as he sat back he ran his fingers along your lips. You opened them and he shoved them inside. You tasted yourself on him and sucked on them with a hum. His eyes darkened at your reaction.

“Anything you want, sweetie.” 

He pulled his fingers away and climbed off the bed. His pants were tented with his arousal. You shoved your jeans down your legs and your socks caught in the bottom as you tore them off. You took your sweater off next and unhooked your ratty bra. You really needed a new one. You looked over as he rolled his briefs down his thighs. You liked to think none of the guys your age looked as good.

“Lay down,” He pointed to the pillow. “And don’t you move.” You laid back and he got back on the bed. “Bend your legs. Yeah, like that, now, apart. Very good.” He knelt between them and his eyes shone down at your pussy. “God, you look just as good as you taste, sweetie.

He bent and he slowly ran his tongue over your clit and along your folds. You gasped and reached down to touch his greying locks. He shoved your hand away and growled. You kept your hands on your chest, cupped your tits as you watched the top of his head, His tongue flitted up and down, each time faster, and he swirled around your bud so that your hips bucked.

You began to mewl. You sounded animalistic. Your legs closed around his head and his hands spread across the back of your thighs. He pushed your legs up until your knees were almost to your chest. He kneaded the flesh and purred as he lapped you up. You arched your back as he plucked at your deepest strings.

“S-Steveee.” You came with a drawn out moan. His name floated above you and he tended to you until you were breathless.

Slowly he lifted his head. You looked down at him as he deliberately licked his lips. He kept hold of your thighs as he got to his knees and positioned himself against you. His cock slid between your folds and along your clit. You shivered and reached out to him.

“Ah, keep those hands to yourself, sweetie,” He tilted his hips back until his cock poked at your entrance. 

His eyes fell between your legs and he watched as he impaled you an inch at a time. He pushed his shoulders back and sighed as he reached his limit. Your walls clung to him; longed for him. He pushed your legs until your knees were against your chest entirely. He rocked into you once and you squealed.

He did it again. A similar reaction. He thrust, each time waiting for your response. You got louder and louder as he sped up. Delving deeper and harder. His flesh clapped against yours between your cries and a bang came at the wall, warning you to quiet. But you couldn’t.

You stretched your arms out and grasped at the blanket. He snarled as he pounded into you. He had never been like this. Always decisive, but never rough. Never this carnal. This incensed. You bunched the bedspread in your fingers and keened as another orgasm tore through you.

You quaked as he didn’t waver. He had you pinned to the mattress, helpless. Not that you could’ve have pushed him away if you wanted to. His thick muscles bulged beneath his skin as he thrust into you. He didn’t fuck like an old man. At least, you assumed most men his age weren’t so ferocious.

It wasn’t long before you came again. The banging on the wall stopped. They’d given up. He had your ass off the bed, your back curled as he pounded into you. He found your clit and teased you as he drew forth yet another orgasm. You were dazed.

“Steve...Steve...please, no more, I c-can’t.” He slammed into you and chuckled.

Your words turned to murmurs. Pure gibberish as he ignored you and carried on. He grunted and his motioned stuttered. He bared his teeth and growled as he pulled out. He kept hold of one leg as he stroked himself with the other. He came all over you, the warmth seeped between your folds and along your ass.

Slowly he sat back and let your legs splay around him. You were both out of breath. You felt around blindly, felt his cum all over you as you spread it around.

He climbed over your leg and fell down beside you, out of breath. He smiled and closed his eyes as he caught his breath. You rubbed your forehead as your wits reassembled. What a long day. Both of them in less than. How had you gotten tied up in all this?

“Steve,” You ventured and he opened his eyes.

“Yes, sweetie,” He turned his head to look at you.

“Why are we doing this?” You asked weakly.

“I…” He clamped his lips shut and thought. “Well, I’ve done the right thing; got married, had a family, white picket fence. It’s boring. Fake. I don’t want fake. You get to my age and you realize there really isn’t any harm in doing what you want instead of what others expect of you.”

“Oh,” You considered his words carefully. “Have you done this before?”

“What do you mean? Have I fucked any of Kylie’s other friends? Of course not. Never even fucked anyone more than a couple years younger than me. Didn’t have the time, or the energy.”

You nodded and stared at the ceiling. Afraid to ask your next question. “Why me?”

“I...At first, I just thought you were cute. I don’t know what made me kiss you in that hot tub, or why I even invited you, but I knew that night, I needed you.” He traced circles along your stomach. “And you needed me. To show you before it’s too late that it’s okay to be more than cookie cutter.”

His words reeled in your head. You were surprised; that you asked; even more that he answered. And he sounded honest. And if he wasn’t being earnest, you’d learn another lesson from all this. 

All you could do was enjoy it while it lasted.

[nkp1981]

Part 5 of a story with an angry cook named Joe and a quiet book nerd named Nicky

Part 4 can be read here: https://bit.ly/3dP6OMw

The library became their own little world and they only left it, when they needed to take a shower, make some food,  take a walk around the block, which normally happened right after Joe came home from work, which Joe had started to hate even more now, but he knew that Andy would keep an eye on Nicky for him.

“Andy, can I ask you for a last favor?” Nicky asked, when Joe one day were forced to take a late shift at the diner. “A last one? That’s new.” Andy joked and looked up from her phone, but the look on Nicky’s face told her he meant it seriously. “Anything, kiddo.” Andy said and put her phone in the pocket. “Make sure that Joe is never alone again if anything happens to me.” Nicky said after he had searched to find the right words. “I promise you that, Nicolo. You have my word.” Andy replied and Nicky knew she would keep the promise no matter what, and Andy suddenly realized that Nicky for once had started to think about his future, which scared her, because she preferred the quiet boy with his nose in a book. “When is Joe back?” Andy wanted to know in an attempt to change the subject. “In two hours. Go, you got your own plans, right?” Nicky asked with a mischievous smile. “Stop it, young man, but first let us check your blood sucker, then I decide whether to leave or not.” Andy replied and took the glucometer. A half hour later Andy left and texted Joe, that everything was ok, and that Nicky had fallen asleep.

When Joe came home, he saw a plate with sandwiches on the countertop with a note from Nicky that said: “Never gonna be a great cook, but I do know how to make strawberry jam sandwiches.” Which made Joe smile, so he took one bite but had to spit it out, because his mouth was on fire. After drinking the last of the milk, he saw the jar, Nicky had thought was strawberry jam and started to laugh, because it was the jar with harissa paste and made a mental note, that he should probably start to translate, what was in every jar that had Arabic writing on it in case Nicky wanted to make more sandwiches in the future.

After having washed himself and changing the shirt, Joe made his way into the library, where he saw Nicky on the sofa, who was twisting and turning obvious having a nightmare, so he kneeled down next to the sofa, where he gently ran a couple of fingers through Nicky’s hair. “Hey, easy now. It’s only me.” Joe said in a calm tone, and when Nicky saw Joe, he clung to him and tried to breathe normally again. “What did you dream about?” Joe wanted to know and cupped Nicky’s cheek for the first time, which Nicky leaned into. “The shelter. I don’t seem to shake it off.” Nicky replied in a sad tone. “You aren’t going back to that place as long, I got something to say about it, so I truly hope that you will stay here with me.” Joe said with a small hope in voice, which only grew, when Nicky placed a finger under Joe’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss. “Sorry, I..” Nicky said, but before he could finish the sentence, Joe kissed him, before he leaned his forehead against Nicky’s, while they both giggled a bit like schoolgirls. “Come, I keep you safe.” Joe promised after a bit and pulled Nicky with him down on the sofa, where he took around Nicky. They once again found each other’s hands in the darkness, where they merged their fingers. “Nicky, do you want to go on a date with me?” Joe asked after a bit. “I thought, you would never ask.” Nicky replied and looked up at Joe with a smile in his eyes. “How were the sandwiches?” Nicky wanted to know and Joe, who’s mouth still was a bit on fire from eating harissa paste. “It was a culinary experience.” Joe replied leaving Nicky a bit confused over how strawberry jam sandwiches could be that. “But I suggest we eat out tomorrow.” Joe added and kissed Nicky again. “I got an idea, but it is a bit from here.” Nicky suggested with a secret smile, that told Joe, he was in for something good. “If you know the place, I’ll get a car, so we can get there.” Joe replied and started to run his fingers through Nicky’s hair, when Nicky laid his head on Joe’s chest. It didn’t take long before Nicky was sleeping, and Joe thought as the last thing, before he also fell asleep, that he had never been happier, and for the first time in their life, they both had a decent night's sleep.

In the morning Joe rented a car and they drove north until; they came to a small truck stop in the middle of nowhere. “This is your idea for a date?” Joe asked skeptically when he got out of the car. “Trust me on this.” Nicky replied with a smile and Joe followed inside, where they got a table in the half empty room. “Nicolo! It’s so good to see you.” A woman said in Italic when she saw them. “Likewise, Gina. Is it so that we can get two plates with your gnocchi and a box of sfogliatella with us?” Nicky asked and Gina nodded, before she headed for the kitchen. “Believe it or not but here you get the best Italic food in New York. You just need to ask politely.” Nicky said and took Joe’s hand. “With your personality it isn’t a problem.” Joe replied dried and kissed Nicky’s hand. “Thanks, but you aren’t as bad as you think.” Nicky said with a smile, that somehow made Joe believe in him. “So, how did you find an Italic restaurant in the middle of nowhere?” Joe wanted to know and caressed Nicky’s fingers. “I actually worked here the first summer when I got here just before I started at uni. Not as a cook but as the dishwasher.” Nicky replied and gave Gina a smile when she placed the food on the table. “Actually, I was hoping to get the job as the dishwasher in another diner, when an angry cook shouted at me and I gave up on that idea.” Nicky said after eating the first mouthful and it took Joe a moment, before he realized what Nicky was talking about, but before he could say something, Nicky placed a hand over his. “Don’t think about it anymore, because I know now that the angry cook actually is a very nice cook.” Nicky added and gave Joe’s hand a squeeze. “Tomorrow, I tell my boss, I’ve found a new dishwasher.” Joe said and returned the squeeze. “Bad idea it might end with, that you burn the food, because you can’t keep your eyes from me. No, don’t deny it, Joe. I have seen how your eyes follow me around the room, stalker.” Nicky replied in a teasing tone, that made Joe laugh so loud, that he almost choked in the gnocchi. “Thanks for that, love, I did deserve that, but what are your plans then?” Joe asked interested and drank the rest of the water. “I should really write the rest of my final paper for my bachelor’s degree, so I can get a job, so you don't have to pay for everything. I know, you see it as a way of paying it back for treating me so bad on that day, but Joe I don’t want your money, I want to me with you wherever it might be in the world, so when I’m graduate in August, you should quit your job and we find a place of our own.” Nicky said in a warm welcoming tone and held his hand out as an invitation, which Joe took without any hesitation. “That’s a deal and can’t wait. Actually, I think, there’s an old typewriter somewhere in one of the boxes if you want to use it.” Joe offered and caressed Nicky’s fingers again. “Well, it’s better than writing the paper in the hands.” Nicky replied, and they continued talking for hours and for them both this was the best date in their life. When they had eaten, Nicky took the box, Gina handed him. “Thanks, what do I owe you?” Nicky asked in italic. “Nothing, this is on me, but you can always come back and you can pay by washing the dishes.” Gina replied with laughter in her voice.

“Come, I got something, I want to show you.” Nicky said and Joe took the box from him, so he could take around Nicky as they walked. “This is one of my favorite places. It reminds me of a spot back home in Genova.” Nicky said, when they sat down on a log, where they could see New York in the distance. “What spot?” Joe wanted to know and took one of the sfogliatella, while Nicky found a photo in his jacket. “As a kid it was one of my favorite spots in the world, because you could see Genova in the distance. I sneaked into the garden and could spend hours sitting in the grass with a book, because it felt like a home to me until I got caught by the owner, who dragged me back to the monks, who scolded me, that I should show some respect for another man’s property. It’s a shame that the house burned down.” Nicky explained and leaned into Joe’s shoulder. “Promise me to show it, when we go to Genova.” Joe said and Nicky promised him it. They sat on the spot until the cold set in and went back to the apartment, where they made love for the first time.

They woke around noon the next day and after laying a bit adjusting to the daylight, before they took a shower, but when Nicky wanted to make a sandwich, Joe took the jar out of Nicky’s hand. “Not this one.” Joe said and handed Nicky another jar. “Why?” Nicky wanted to know, and reluctant Joe told Nicky, that it was harissa paste and not jam. “I’m really sorry.” Nicky said and looked even more sorry. “In a way, we’re even now. I put too much salt in the cake and you used harissa paste.” Joe replied and pulled Nicky in for a kiss. After eating breakfast, they started to search for the typewriter. “What’s in all of those boxes?” Nicky wanted to know when he saw the room had boxes from floor to ceiling. “The last stuff from my parents, that I never have gotten around to look through and my own stuff.” Joe replied and started to move some of the boxes. “No, no not that one.” Joe said frantic, when Nicky opened one of the boxes, but it was too late, because Nicky had found all the drawings Joe had made of Nicky. “Did you make these?” Nicky asked impressed and looked through them. “Can’t deny it.” Joe replied and explained it was his way of remembering Nicky. “Why are you cooking and not drawing? I mean, you should go to art school or something.” Nicky wanted to know, which was not the reaction Joe had expected from Nicky. “According to my father a man shouldn’t draw, because you can’t earn a living on it.” Joe replied and continued with looking through the boxes. “Joe, look at me.” Nicky said and it took Joe a moment before he did it. “You’re not your father but you and is it not about time, you stop listening to a dead man and follow your own dreams?” Nicky asked and it was the first time someone had asked the question out loud, that had been roaming around Joe’s head ever since his parents died. “I will do that when you graduate. Found it.” Joe replied triumphant over finding the typewriter. When Joe stood in the library, he realized that Nicky hadn’t followed him and it took a minute, before Nicky joined him. “I want you to draw, while I write or else you can sleep alone.” Nicky said and handed Joe some papers and coal. It was the first time anyone had made an ultimatum in Joe’s life. “Fine.” Joe replied, took the paper and sat down on the floor, while Nicky took one of the stools that were in the library and used the window sill as a makeshift desk, before he started to write.

Often during the next couple of weeks, Joe walked into the library after work to find the floor covered in papers, Nicky had written, while Joe was gone. “Don’t move.” Nicky said with panic in his voice from behind and started to collect the papers in an order, that didn’t make sense to Joe. “Are you writing a paper or a book?” Joe joked, because he had seen how the stack with papers had grown day by day. “Actually both. Did you get them?” Nicky wanted to know and looked briefly at Joe, before returning to collecting his papers and Joe held up the color typewriter ribbon. “Fantastic. You’re the best.” Nicky said grateful and gave Joe a smile. “You do know it took me the better of two hours to find them.” Joe complained without sounding sorry. “When I’m finished with this chapter, I’ll repay you.” Nicky promised and took the ribbons from Joe, before kissing him. “Can’t wait. I’m gonna make dinner, so you can get finished with this.” Joe replied and looked at Nicky, who was spinning around in the search for a page. 

That was the last day of the good days, because after that all Nicky wanted was to sleep. On the second day Joe got worried and called Andy, so she could check if they had done it correctly with managing Nicky’s diabetes and medicine. “Joe, he needs to go to the hospital. I think it’s his heart.” Andy said, while trying not to sound too worried. “I can call the ambulance if you want.” Andy offered and placed a hand on Joe’s arms, who was deep in his thoughts. “Let me. It’s better if it’s me, he is angry at for taking him back to the hospital.” And went over to sit next to Nicky and took his hand, while Joe made the most difficult phone call in his entire life. 

“Did you understand me? He might only have days left.” The Doctor said and looked at Joe, who was looking at Nicky. “Will an operation help?” Joe asked in a desperate hope, that it would mean he could keep Nicky a bit longer. “No sadly not. All we can do is to offer pain relief.” The Doctor replied and Joe nodded, before he walked into the room, where he took Nicky’s hand. “What are you doing?” Nicky asked in a tired tone when he saw Joe with the mobile phone. “Calling my lawyer so he can find a better Doctor.” Joe replied, but before he could make the call Nicky placed a hand over it. “Joe listen to me. You have to accept that money can’t buy you everything, you want, and I prefer to spend my last days without being a guinea pig but with you and Andy somewhere else than here, because I don’t want to die in a hospital.” Nicky said and cupped Joe’s cheek, who for the first time in his life started to cry. “Where do you want to go?” Joe muttered with a broken voice. “I want to see some water.” Nicky replied and Joe started to think like a mad. “Only if Andy says yes, ok?” Joe said and looked at Andy, who nodded. “I’ll help you.” Andy said and took the other chair. “Anything else?” Joe wanted to know and ran a couple of fingers through Nicky’s hair. “Maybe this is bad timing, but I want to marry you.” Nicky muttered, before he closed his eyes and Joe kissed Nicky on the forehead. “Off course, I will marry you.” Joe whispered and kissed Nicky once again on the forehead. “I could find the hospital priest if you want to, while you find a place for us, but remember it needs to be big enough for the medical equipment.” Andy said and Joe nodded, so while he made the call to Le Livre, Andy went searching for the priest.

It took only Le Livre a couple hours to find a house for Joe near the ocean with the promise that it would be ready the next morning with everything they needed. When Nicky woke a couple of hours, he looked at Joe and Andy, who were talking. “I hope it isn’t me, you are talking about.” Nicky joked, which made them both smiles. “We’ll be leaving, when the ambulance is ready, but first let’s fulfill one of your wishes if you meant, what you said about marrying me, because you need to know, that I’ve a habit of shouting and stalking people.” Joe joked, which made Nicky laugh. “I can live with that, but I don’t want to get married in a hospital gown.” Nicky replied and looked down at it with the same look in his eyes back then. “That’s why, I bought this.” Joe said and found the sweater Nicky loved. “Thanks.” Nicky replied gratefully and let Andy help him the sweater on before the hospital priest married them. That was the last time Nicky sat up.

They got eight days in the summerhouse, where Andy and Joe sat at Nicky’s bed taking turns to read books for him even though, he wasn’t much awake and when he was, they both promised to look after each other in the future, because that was the only thing on his mind, that they shouldn’t be alone again. “Hey!” Joe said with a smile when Nicky looked at him with a different look than before an early morning. “Andy? Do you mind opening the window?” Nicky asked tired and Andy stood up to open the window and looked out on the horizon.“Hey love don’t be sad; I’ll never leave you for good, and we’ll see each other one day again. Do you remember what I told you about the wind?” Nicky asked with a smile. “That it’s you, who stalks me for a change.” Joe replied and cupped Nicky’s cheek and took a firm grip around the other hand. When the wind hit Andy’s face the heart monitor made a sound that told them that Nicky had died, which left them both heartbroken in different ways. 

my creation         

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

agajsksns not gonna lie being 10 feet tall sounds awesome. i have no idea how tall that is because the only thing i know about feet (that sounds so wrong) is that google is telling me that i'm 5'6 (sorry to disappoint). which is. average height right? well it doesn't feel like it coz my best friends are giants. they're both 180+ cm tall and they constantly make fun of me for being short. but honestly i win because i can always make them reach things for me.

thank you! that's very sweet, i actually only saw your reply like 20 minutes before the new year so it was right on time! i loved writing to you and waiting to hear back as well, you're a really fun person to talk to!

i know you probably won't see this for a couple of weeks before going on holiday, but have fun!

i laughed really hard at the picture my brain conjured up when reading about you dropping the vampire act and starting to pretend to be a mouse, just straight up scurrying up to the houses on all fours in a bathrobe is hilarious. i'd pay to see that. and yeah! me either. the number of times i've gone outside at night is probably like 3. that's counting that time when i went for ice cream at 11pm to the store on the other side of the street in my pajamas and then had to turn back because it apparently closes at 10 pm. that was a pretty big disappointment

a halloween themed birthday party sounds awesome! it's sort of disappointing though that you can barely remember it. the only themed birthday party i had (or at least the only one that i remember) was princess themed because i was on my princess faze back then (i was 5 or 6 i think). i still remember the sheer joy i felt at being able to wear a long fancy dress. it was brilliant

oh yeah! i'm still slightly scared of blenders because of that time. now anytime i even put my fingers close to the blade i unplug it first. also i saw you got a blender? i think we have one that's similar to the one you described. so i have a couple of suggestions! i like to make banana "ice cream". you just cut up a banana into pieces and freeze it, (i have no idea how long it takes to freeze i just generally always have frozen bananas in my freezer) then you take them out, let them sit for 10 minutes (to not break the blender when you use it) and blend them. i sometimes add frozen berries or peanut butter too! depending on what i want that day. it's great, especially because i'm slightly lactose intolerant too and i absolutely love ice cream. you can also make smoothies as you said. i usually put in mine whatever fruit we have, generally apples, bananas and oranges or grapefruits. or if i'm making one for breakfast (which i know you can't, but this is just a generally more filling option i think?) i also add spinach. you can't really feel the taste but it's supposed to be good for you and it fills you up more (it does make the smoothie super green though!). but yeah i pretty much just mix and match anything i have! also: milkshakes. ice cream, berries (optional) and milk! super easy and my little cousins love it when they visit!

ohhh your grater also seems to be out to get you. i bet it's really painful if it actually falls on your feet, because like metal. on foot. ouch. especially if it hits you with a corner! and i would definitely also get surprised every time it happened no matter how many times it did! bifocal glasses do not sound fun either tho. i would constantly forget how to use them and probably would just get headache really fast too! i get a headache from my normal glasses when i wear them (i usually wear contacts) so bifocal ones would be even worse i bet.

exactly. i had no idea what "hot" means. i thought you were supposed to use it when you thought a person was aesthetically pleasing? or like you thought they look cute? i dunno. i used it a couple of times before i realised that was not what that meant and then i was just like uhhhh yeah i'm gonna delete that word from my vocab. yeah! i think that ace and probably aro too are pretty hard to figure out because it's the lack of something.

ahahsksns i can imagine tiny Lindsey waking up on Christmas morning and running to the window expecting snow in the middle of summer and it's so funny! i can't say anything though because we have this saying in lithuanian which is used essentially when someone does something unexpected and unusual for them so you say "it's gonna snow tomorrow". as in "wow, [name] did [something super unexpected from them], it must be snowing tomorrow" (because like those are equally unexpected things i guess? but it's said in winter too so it's just something you say whenever, i'm sorry it's hard to explain!) but yeah a figure of speech. and anytime i heard that, even in the middle of summer, the next morning i'd run to my window and look for snow and when there was none, i'd just stare accusatorily at my parents. like wow, i can't believe you lied/let someone lie to me

horse races sound fun, i've never been to one though! and a picnic luch sounds awesome! i love picnics but we have them very rarely, i definitely think we should have them more often

and yeah, i get that acid reflux more of an annoyance than a problem but still! i completely agree with you about peanut butter though. it's amazing, i could eat it everyday

I know exactly how tall 10 feet is purely because I’m 5 foot so two of me is 10 foot. I barely know feet but I got used to people being confused when I was like oh, I’m 155cm! so I learnt what my height was in feet but I can really only visualise heights when I put them into centimetres. Someone can be like I’m 6 foot! and that’s great but I don’t have the faintest idea how tall that actually is. 182cm on the other hand is easy. that’s just like one ruler above my height. I can picture that. 5 foot 6 is probably average but as a short person, I consider you tall. That really isn’t saying much at my height but still sdflshdfks. Biggest benefit of tall best friends is indeed making them reach high things though. 

And now we’re almost three weeks into the new year. Time seems to be flying this year. This is a very late reply indeed sdfjhskdfs. I did see this before I left but didn’t have time to reply, thank you though! I did have lots of fun. I had some birds try to invade the unit up in Orewa and I had a dotterel (I think) follow me along the beach at Ngarimu Bay playing some sort of red light green light game with me (it only moved closer and started following me again when I looked away) and I think a blackbird started some sort of mating performance at me which was flattering but uhhhh I’m a bit of a big bird mate. Maybe choose someone else. there was also beaches and gorgeous views etc etc but birds, y’know. birds.

i would 100% do that for money with no regrets. on one hand I could get a job and contribute to society. on the other hand I could do that as my main income. not a hard choice. hire me by the hour to freak your family and friends out. i have no respect for myself i’ll do it to anyone for the right price. damn. only closed one hour earlier. that’s a massive disappointment. i was out at night willingly for my high school prom and for a creative writing night at my uni and inside a car if that counts when I think my family was travelling back from the south island when I was younger. So three times that come to mind. Oh. And if stupid camp burma trails count then add a few times to that but those were not night outings I did willingly.

I can barely remember most of my life, I just assume it happened and I wasn’t just planted here at 12 years old as an alien spy. Anything’s possible though. I remember my birthday cakes more than my birthday parties to be honest with you. My mum always made the cake and when I was young she’d make fun designs. A bee, a bat, a swimming pool and a cat come to me off the top of my head. They were mostly just sponge cats but she cut them and iced them expertly. A princess-themed party seems like a very fun type of party for kids who like that. Kids always seem very happy to dress up in pretty dresses and cool outfits to attend those kinds of parties. I can imagine the joy. I know my little cousin looooves that sort of thing, and her brother isn’t willing to be left out either

thank god you unplug it first now sdfjhsdf that’s incredibly reassuring. Ooo thank you for those suggestions!!! this is great!! I was wanting to try something with bananas and that sounds easy enough. I had an apple and feijoa smoothie while I was away on holiday and all I want is another one of those. So I’m very very very interested in trying out fruit smoothies now because they seem like they can be very very tasty. Spinach seems like such an odd thing to add but I’ve heard that several times now so clearly it’s a thing. I don’t think I���ve ever even had spinach. I’ll keep it in mind though. I suppose if I just try whatever fruit we have on hand eventually I’ll get something that tastes good. I have dairy free ice cream and dairy free milk so it seems like this could work out for me in a way where I’m not regretting my entire life. Normally when I go near a milkshake I regret the day I was born.

It isn’t a super heavy grater but I have intense survival instincts every now and then so it hasn’t actually hit my foot yet. I go diving in the other direction. But I think if it did I’d probably curse a few times before moving on with my life. I don’t think it’d be THAT bad. But I live in fear regardless. oh no. do your normal glasses have a slightly wrong prescription or is this just a thing that happens when you normally wear contacts,,, I’ve never worn contacts because I fear touching my squishy eyeball and also I think my shitty eyesight is too awkward for contacts so I have no idea if that’s a thing.

oh yes haha hot has been solidly deleted from my vocab for many years except in terms of temperature. It has a word that has never naturally come to mind and I’m sure it never will. It just seems weird when I use it. 

I was a fool of a child and absolutely nothing has changed there! I mean I know how hemispheres work now but I’m still a dumbass at heart. Hahahahahaha oh nooooo. That’s incredible but oh noooo. I get what you mean by the saying though, that’d make a lot of sense here honestly since it never snows ever. Locally, at least. 

i think horse races are just a form of betting and losing money that is frowned upon less than actual buildings based on gambling and such. I mean I only ever attended those ones, idk if all horse races are like that, but I know there was buying tickets for whatever horse you thought would win, and if they did you got money, if they didn’t you lost money. I don’t think it was a whole lot of money ? just like a few bucks ? but maybe you could choose to bet more ? I really don’t remember how it worked, I just remember accidentally finding a ticket on the ground and handing it in only to receive some money because the horse won. I think it was like 5 or 10 bucks which seemed like a LOT to my kid self. picnic lunches are fun though. my family keeps a tartan blanket in the back of the car that we use whenever we have picnics and also whenever we get takeaways (we put it in the middle of the lounge floor as the rest of my family eats fish and chips and I eat sushi, normally). But we don’t have as many as we used to. They are fun though.

can confirm i do eat peanut butter everyday and it goes brilliantly.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

DRUCK reactions - s4 ep2

With special thanks to Michi ( @wodrueckts ) for looking over it to make sure I didn’t say anything glaringly wrong. 💛

CLIP 1: It’s hard out there for a hijabi

Here’s one thing I like about this episode: the shot of the tiara spinning in the air. That said, it’s kind of inexplicable. It’s been like a month since the Abiball, so what’s the tiara doing here? Was Amira holding onto it all this time? Did she have this vision of, like, sorting out her shit as she prepares to move out of her parents’ home, and remembering how her gay friend gave the tiara to her because he hated that his boyfriend was so hot he just naturally won all popularity contests? And she was like, “Imma do a solid for future Amira and get rid of this dollar store tiara right now”?

Anyway.

So far, Amira M.’s season has been the only Sana season not to drop during Ramadan. Seems like the Druck team thought they might not even get to Amira, and then they got renewed at the eleventh hour. So they needed to put that shit out quick because the character was set to leave for Australia and anyway it would’ve been really weird to do an Amira season in uni, and then go back to high school with the next gen. So this season is set in summer, and depending on what Wtfock does with Yasmina, it might be the only Sana season to do so.

I think setting this clip lakeside was pretty clever. Plenty of chances to show people in swimming suits or skimpy clothing, as well as people’s reactions to Amira’s burkini. It very quickly sets the stage for the season, same as the bus montage did for Sana in Skam.

I’m not sure how to feel about Sam thinking cunnilingus is boring. Is she sure she’s having it done right? I thought Abdi had a longer than average tongue.

And thanks to Michi, I discovered that this was a reference to Skam, which I didn’t even know because I still had the gdrive subs for s2, where Chris says getting eaten out in Gran Canaria was fun, as opposed to the new subs, where she says it was boring as shit and she fell asleep.

I can’t remember whether Sana’s prayer app ever went off in front of the girl squad. When Skam España did it, the girls immediately freaked the fuck out at the thought of Amira praying right in the middle of a street party. In this case, Kiki looks at Amira for a second. Amira turns the app off though, so we never find out what the girls would’ve done if Amira were to pray right there. Or if it’s happened before. (I’ve been told by Michi this has happened before but the girls didn’t have a reaction then either.)

“Girls, why does it always have to be about boys with you guys?” GO OFF, AMIRA. I remember when I watched the season live, I became exhausted at all the boy talk, so it’ll be interesting to see if I still get this feeling watching the episodes.

In comparison to Vilde, Kiki is also a good sport about Amira wanting this topic to be over. I mean, she laughs a little (perhaps knowingly?), but Kiki is always up for changing the topic to something else about her… Like her and Carlos’ house hunting!

And also, Druck has sent Mia off to Spain to reassure viewers that this Noora won’t take over the season like other Nooras. (Ahem.)

For lack of something to talk about, Amira brings up boxing. Kiki is immediately interested, since she loves working out. Amira is really not into the idea of her brothers getting to know her friends, so she uses Hanna’s reticence to shoot Kiki down.

Her mood has been spoiled all in all, so she stays back to feel alienated as the girls splash around.

She does look cute as hell in her burkini and sunglasses though.

CLIP 2: Am I a bet? Am I a fucking bet?

I really like the blink and you’ll miss it shot of (I think is) the customized snow globe with the Nadia and Amira pic.

Some other stuff in Amira’s room: A polisci book, a list of lodgings in Sydney open on her browser, and what I’m pretty sure is a save the date card from Nadia and her fiancé. This is a very smart way to set up Amira’s character for people who might not have been paying a lot of attention to her so far. It’s always fun to get a peek at a Skams character’s bedroom for the first time.

Amira’s season came after Imane’s, and one thing I immediately liked more about Druck was that they spent time with the prayer scenes. I remember ONE (1) scene where Imane prayed in Skam France, and we only got to see the tail end of it.

I’m pretty sure the game the Mahmoodis play doesn’t actually exist, which probably has to do with having to pay royalties to show a real game. Interestingly(?), when I searched Dr. Whoo and Chopstick on google, it led me to Doctor Who pages, so I wonder if it’s all an elaborate Doctor Who reference on the part of someone in the Druck team.

In Skam, Sana misses the shot because the balloon squad are talking throughout the whole song, but Amira loses because Mohammed literally leans into her line of sight to make eye contact. In general, Mohammed is a lot more suave and savvier than Yousef ever was.

CLIP 3: This apartment is gonna kill somebody

And on a similar note but related to Amira, she is set up as someone the other girls rely on for advice. Kiki needs her help with the renter, while Sam asks her for romantic advice. I think the reason for this might be that while the girls didn’t exactly rely on Sana for advice in Skam, Sana was the one with the ideas since the start. Amira doesn’t necessarily take charge of situations the way Sana did, but there’s this notion that without Amira, the squad would fall apart.

The Berlin housing market = shantycore goals.

I also like the bit of subtle social commentary in Amira’s speech, about middle aged people helping young adults get started with life, so the latter can support the former when it comes to pensions, etc.

CLIP 4: Huh.

So even though Amira didn’t want the girls at the gym earlier, they are here now.

The day before, Amira posted a story on ig reminding the girls about the boxing class, with no indication that she ever tried to get them not to come.

Hanna gives a quick bit of exposition when she mentions Stefan is already working full time (and in a job that presumably requires a uni degree) while she just graduated high school. Which she finds weird.

As in Skam, Essam calls Amira ‘slave,’ which Kiki and Hanna notice. Amira quickly says it has to do with a bet, and the subject gets dropped.

When the season was airing, I thought for sure this wasn’t the end of it, and it would be brought up again, either through Kiki, Hanna, or possibly Stefan via Hanna. But no, this is really the end of that storyline.

My question is, why? What is the point of recreating this storyline from Skam (even going through the trouble of setting up a week during the hiatus between episodes 31 and 32, where Amira wins and Essam has to be the slave) if you’re just going to drop it in the same episode? It’s bad writing because we’re still in the stage of the season where storylines are being set up for later. It’s bad writing because Kiki and/or Hanna literally never bring up this bet/slave business again after devoting several clips and a bunch of social media to it. It’s like the writers didn’t really want to adapt this storyline from Skam, but they also didn’t have a ton of ideas for this week. Or maybe they were going to go somewhere with it, but then they changed their minds because it made some character look bad, but they forgot to take it out.  

Like okay, fine, it wasn’t my favorite storyline in Skam either. It made Vilde look like an idiot at best, or a racist and a traitor at worst. But then why even have Kiki and Hanna overhear Essam? It’s not like they had to do it for adaptation reasons. Skam France didn’t.

It’s frustrating as fuck, and it won’t be the last time this season will pull this on the viewer.

Speaking of which, Sam thinks Mohammed is hot as hell (she ain’t wrong) and invites Essam, Omar and Mohammed to Jonas’ birthday party. This bothers Amira, because she doesn’t want her brothers to hang out with her friends. Even though she apparently just invited the girls to the boxing class that takes place at the gym her brothers attend.

[SIGH]

But anyway, Sam is being characterized as someone who is in charge of her sexuality (throughout the whole show, but specifically in this episode). While Amira is pining from a distance, getting flustered just from eye contact, Sam sees a hot guy and immediately creates an opportunity to see him again.

CLIP 5: Barbecue pining

There’s such a summer vibe about always finding reasons to hang out at a specific place because your friend got a summer job there.

I gotta give it to the writers. Essam is such a well-constructed younger sibling character. He’s a brat exactly in the way younger siblings are, and yet… That’s also the reason he’s so endearing.

And, on that note, Omar gives off such dad vibes. Not even older brother vibes. Every time I see Omar I feel like he’s thinking, “ha-ha! These little brats are acting out because they’re going through a lot! We just have to understand them!”

The conversation Amira and Mohammed have around the barbecue is so dumb, but you gotta love how pleased Amira is that she has Mohammed’s attention. Though she’s also unused to liking having a guy’s attention.

David and Matteo are back, and they’re still adorable! Good for them.

The way you could describe this moment as, Amira literally turned around for a moment and Sam was already touching Mohammed’s hair, and have it be accurate, sums up what they’re going for here.

Social media

There was a lot of social media content to keep people fed in the hiatus between episode 31 and 32. David and Matteo backpacked through Europe, Mia left for Spain and Kiki made a video about it, Stefan was invited to a game night with the crew, Kiki and Carlos looked for an apartment, and as I mentioned earlier, Essam lost a bet to Amira and had to be her slave for a week. I think that’s about it!

Abdi suggests that he and Carlos give Jonas supplies to make a protest sign as a birthday present and I almost lost it.

I think the piece of social media that most pissed off Skam purists was a chat where Jonas assures Amira he’s already thought of buying halal meat (as well as vegetarian and vegan options) for his birthday, because apparently Druck wanted to show up Skam or something, but like… It’s not like this storyline went anywhere on Skam either, like at no point do the girls learn to order pizza Sana can eat. So what does it matter if Jonas is already aware that Muslims eat halal meat.

I love that Hanna went to boxing class once, posted a bunch of stories about it and then never attended again. What a mood.

And to close the week, Kiki texts Amira that Essam started following her on insta.

FINAL THOUGHTS

When the season was airing, I found these clips cute enough. But on rewatch, I didn’t care for this episode and the reason is that so much of it ended being irrelevant to the season. What this episode did well was setting up the Kiki/Amira friendship, setting Kiki and Carlos’ apartment and the boxing class as recurring settings for the season and some character details. Essam is a really solid character from the get go, and I like the details in Amira’s room. They could’ve left out just about everything else.

[ohstylesno]

Hello 🌻 I was wondering how you found the process of job search after finishing uni? I'm trying to decide on where to work/what to do after uni but I feel so lost, my degree is very versatile (business management) and I feel like there is nothing that I'm a "pro" in, or that I have a passion for. Like, I have nothing in particular to highlight on my CV. How did you find out what you want to do and how did you find your job?

Hello sunflower 🤗So here’s my story: I had an internship at an agency for 8 weeks as I was wrapping up my bachelor’s degree. (It was a part of the bachelor) and the COO there was my boss and delegated tasks for me etc. After my internship was over, she said that she wanted to keep me but that they didn’t have an open position, BUT I could start working for this magazine that the agency owned the publishing rights to. So after I finished my bachelor's, I started working for this magazine. But it was freelance, and it didn’t pay all that well, so after about 4-5 months I was like, this is not enough. So I started applying for jobs, did an interview, got an offer - turned it down actually ‘cause I got a really bad vibe from the CEO there and those presumptions were confirmed once I started digging into the culture of the company and talked to people that had worked there.) I applied for a couple of other jobs and then went through a heavy interview process with a newspaper. I was offered the position and took it, even though it wasn’t a “dream job”. But I was very flattered that I was offered that position because it was as a digital marketer, and I didn’t have a marketing bachelor so I was like..... *nervous laughter* haha. So I relate to you, I have a versatile bachelor as well but I’m not a pro in anything. I still struggle a bit with that. But fake it til you make it is my motto 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

I’ve been there a little over a year now, and I’ve learned so much. They’ve also shown a lot of trust in me and given me a lot of responsibility for someone that was just coming out of uni - which is really nice ‘cause I’ve learned so much and become so much more confident in myself.  

BUT, also by taking this job I’ve learned that this job is not something I see myself doing for a long time. But now I have some experience, and one foot in the door in the media industry - which helps massively. So I’m gonna take some time after summer and really think about what I enjoy doing - and then go from there 😊🏄‍♀️My advice is to make sure you have a good CV that highlights WHO you are and what you can do. (I took some time in photoshop to create something that would stand out design wise and color wise), use your network, build a network, and just start applying. You can’t be too picky when you’re fresh from school but also, if something doesn’t feel right - trust your gut. I believe we’ll figure out what we enjoy doing after some work experience :) 

[letterstoseven]

Impossibilities to Possibilities

⇢ genre: angst, fluff, suggestive, sugardaddy!au

⇢ summary: some say that first love never dies but it hunts you.

----------------//-----------------

You were running late for your interview. The interview was supposed to be at 9:00AM but it’s already 9:30AM and you’re still at the bus only two blocks away from the company building. When the results came in, you were actually surprised that this company scheduled you for an interview. This company is known in the entertainment industry and they’ve been looking for young individuals who have passion, talent, and brains. It was your friend, Jaebeom, who saw their job posting on their social media accounts.

“I think you should try applying for this job. I mean, you’re really good at styling people. I mean, weren’t you always the best dressed at every party? And even the girls at uni gets jealous at you because you totally rock every style. I remember this one time you were wearing a unique top but everyone loved that and the following week, they have those tops already!” Jaebeom persuaded you. It was a little over-dramatic but you started thinking what if this is your break? I mean, it’s summer break at your uni and you’re looking for a summer job.

“But Jae, this company is super picky! They’re just hiring the best of the best. Although the majority of the people who work in this company are young ones who are really really great people.” You said that to him while looking at the website and portfolios of those who work in this company. “There’s no harm in trying, y/n.” He winked at you and proceeded to scroll his feed again. While your eyes were glued at the website, you wonder who’s the person behind this company. You wonder if he has the mind-reading skills or whatsoever magic trick that he’s had the great people under his belt.

And here you are, 9:45AM at the reception of the company. You got off the bus and ran to the company as fast as possible. Fortunately, the lady at the reception was nice and told you to wait for a while. You thanked the gods for letting you off the hook this time. While you were reviewing your portfolio, the receptionist called you, “Miss y/n? Mr. Park is waiting for you in his office. Please go to the 11th floor and turn left, you’ll see his secretary. She’ll let you know more about your interview.” She smiled at you and you smiled back.

While you were walking towards the elevator, you see the interior of the building. It was minimal yet elegant. Something you really want. It made you want to work here. The employees you’ve come across to were nice and made you feel to work here more. By the time the elevator arrived on the designated floor, you were surprised that you were the only one who was called by Mr. Park. You asked the secretary, “Hi, is this Mr. Park’s office? I’m y/n. The receptionist told me to go here.” You hand your curriculum vitae to the secretary, “Is the person who’s going to interview me is the boss?” You whispered to her. She chuckled, “Yes, Miss y/n. It was rare for him to interview the applicants himself. He must be impressed by your application. You may now come in.”

You being nervous is an understatement –– his secretary told you that it was rare for him to conduct an interview himself. When the secretary opened the door, you were shocked at how beautiful and sophisticated his office is. The design, the displays, and the name –– you stopped your tracks by looking at his name.

No way. You uttered, “Mr. Park Jinyoung?”

He turned his back and looked at you, “Hello, y/n. It was nice to see you again.”

“You?!” You dropped your portfolio and picked it up but boy, he was fast. He’s now in front of you, “Yes, it’s me. I had a hard time looking for you, love.” He smirked at you. “Why were you looking for me? We were done. We broke one of the clauses.”

“But you didn’t have to run off like that...” He stared at you and continued, “I got scared of what happened to you. After 6 months of looking for you, I stopped. Then the next week, I was looking at the portfolios sent by the applicants and I saw my photo but side-view. I knew it was me because you let me saw that photo, you were so proud of the result of your styling to me.” He looked at you while reminiscing the past, “Then I saw your resume, you’ve changed your phone number, you moved out of your apartment and you changed the color of your hair.”

This time, it was your turn to stare at him, “Jinyoung... it was what we’re supposed to be. You gave me what I need, the money, the luxury, my tuition, and in return, I give you my company.” His eyes were betraying him. You continued, “But then, I have to admit, I was falling for you day by day. You are a gentleman and a handsome young man. I’m scared that if we go on, we might not just break the clauses in the contract but also our hearts.” You hugged your portfolio.

He turned around and faced you again, hands on his waist, you can see he is frustrated, “You only have the say in this? You’re the only one who decided to leave me and break off! God damn, y/n! I confessed to you after we kissed that night!” It is now your turn to cry, “Jinyoung, I am not that girl for you. You’re handsome, bright, gentleman and more! I’m just a normal girl who drunkenly said yes to a dare to look for a sugar daddy who’s at my age in the club! We didn’t know it’d go far like this, you know that. And please, I’m here for the job and not for you.” Jinyoung, being frustrated, ruffled his hands on his hair and said, “Okay.” And you said, “Okay.”

There was a moment of silence and then, Jinyoung started looking at your resume, “I see that you’ve become a dean’s lister during last year’s semester, but the following semester, you were off the list. Why’s that?” You know that he knows why. He just wanted to come out of your mouth. You answered, “I had personal problems during that time.” Jinyoung looked at you, “If that’s the case, why are we going to hire someone who doesn’t know when to separate personal and work matters?” For the first time since meeting him today, you were surprised at how he can immediately shift his mood, “You know what happened and—” you got cut-off by him, “I’m talking to you as the CEO of the company not as your sugar daddy, y/n.” You got quiet and simply answered, “I’ve grown and learned from my mistakes. I learned not to let my emotions rule over me. At this point of my life, I’ve had many decisions that I did not like. In reference to my class standing, I’ve had to make sacrifices for the betterment of myself. Isn’t that what the company needs? Someone who’s up for commitment, even though there’s a lot to sacrifice.” He was internally shocked at your answer, he knew you could do well. “Ever since I’ve known you, I always know you could do well at everything you do.” You blushed at his comment. “Thank you, Mr. Park.” It wasn’t long until he told you that his secretary will just contact you if you’re hired or not.

When you got back on your apartment, you messaged Jaebeom.

y/n: you won’t believe what I’ll say!

jaebeom: what?

y/n: Jinyoung was the CEO of the company I’ve applied to!!!

jaebeom: Jinyoung? As in the guy whom you had a relationship as sugar daddy?

y/n: YES

jaebeom: it seems like you’re in for a ride ;)

You groaned at his response. You can’t say that you weren't that glad to see him but you’re ashamed of yourself. Your phone dinged and a message from an unknown number.

unknown: hey, y/n. it’s me, Jinyoung. would you like to have dinner or anything, or in a coffee shop?

y/n: wow, using your power as a CEO to get my number, I see.

jinyoung: please? i really missed you...

y/n: okay, you know where. same place, 7pm.

jinyoung: sounds like a plan, i’ll see you then.

As the night’s about to approach, you inhaled deeply and asked yourself, are you ready to see him again? I mean, if you’ll get accepted, there’s a hundred percent chance you’ll see him everyday. The next thing you knew is that you’re in front of your go-to restaurant. Jinyoung knew about this because whenever he asks you where you are, you’re here.m

You were looking for Jinyoung, and when you see him, you can see that he’s on his phone. He sees you too, “I’ll call you back tomorrow. Bring the files to me first thing in the morning. Okay, thanks.” He hung up the call and said to you, “Hi, you came.” Your lips curved into smile and seated in front of him, “Yes? What’s this dinner for?” Jinyoung chuckled, “Typical, y/n. Asking the necessary first before indulging.”

Both of you were tip-toeing in the conversation. Both of you were just saying only the tip of the iceberg and both of you knows it. When the bill came, you were about to pay but Jinyoung interrupted you, “No, y/n. I’ll pay. I was the one who called you anyways.”

When both of you got out of the restaurant, you said your thanks to him, “It was nice seeing you. I’m sorry about the attitude at your office awhile ago. I got shocked and all.” He smiled wryly, “It’s understandable. I mean, I won’t invalidate your feelings. Or if there’s any left.” he continued, “How are you gonna go home? Do you still have the car I gave you?” You choked, “Very nice of you but I returned it to your driver. You might have not seen it yet since you have what, hundreds of cars?” He’s more shocked that you contacted his driver instead of him, “Oh, so you do have my driver’s number? How? Anyway, don’t answer that. Come on, I’ll take you home. It’s dangerous at night, and you know that.”

The heavens must have been in favor of Jinyoung. When you got inside the car, it started to rain hard. “Oh my god. My place is kind of far away from here. It’s a 2-hour drive. I am so so sorry for this, Jinyoung. You could drop me off at the nearest bus stop.” He looked at you and said, “My place is near here. You could stay there until the rain stops.” You can see him ruffling his hair, “That’s very nice of you but I don’t want to impose.” Jinyoung chuckled at your reply, “I insist. Plus we could talk more.” You know what’ll happen if you go in his house, “If that’s okay, then okay.”

While he was driving, you glanced up to him. You missed him, but you feel like it’s inappropriate. You looked outside, he still lives at this secured place where majority of the rich people in town or in the country lives. As you passed the gates, you can see the familiar surroundings. It was still raining hard when Jinyoung parked his car, “Wait here, I’ll get an umbrella.” You stopped him, “No! I can run from here to your front door.” You did not realize how far his parking lot was until you reached the front door. You were soaking and literally wet from the adventure you had done. Jin young ran too, “We should’ve gotten the umbrella. Come, you can wear my clothes as we dry yours.”

When he opened the door, you smiled at the place. You and Jinyoung spent lots of time at his house. He once told you that he’s a homebuddy, that he rarely leaves the house. So, when you were here, you redecorated the place. It was nice of him not to change everything after that. “I’ll just wait here.”

When he came out, he’s already changed his clothes. You stopped yourself from drooling, how did you manage to get away from this handsome man? He was wearing his shorts and a shirt. “Here, wear this. The shirt’s mine but the bottoms were yours. You still have some of your belongings here, you know.” You blushed at him, “Okay, I’ll just change my clothes.”

You left your clothes to dry and went out of the bathroom. You still see Jinyoung sitting there and waiting for you. “You don’t have to wait for me though. You should take some rest too. I’ll just wait until the rain stops and I’ll leave.” You smiled at him.

“I know we’ve been avoiding this but I really wanted to talk about us.” He shifted and seated near you, “I don’t regret giving you all those things. It was voluntary. I wanted to give everything to you, even myself.” You replied, “We don’t have to talk about this now, Jinyoung. I insist. Let’s just talk about other things instead.” You don’t want to open the wounds that were just starting to heal or so you thought. “Okay. Is it okay if we move at the bar counter? We could talk there while I make some drinks. Coffee, Tea, Beer, Wine or water?” He stood up waiting for you, “Wine will do.”

Jinyoung asked, “you sure?” Both of you knows that you’re a lightweight kind of person. Two glasses of wines and you’re dead. You’ve catched up a little bit. Jinyoung never thought that he’d see you in his company. You asked him, “Am I accepted already?” Both of you lightly laughed, he said, “If you want the job, then you have it. I won’t deprive my company to have someone as great as you. Do you want it?” You shrugged, “Well, yes! You know me, if I want to achieve something, I’ll make sure to have it!”

You’re getting red already, you asked for the third glass and you feel dizzy already. “You know, you gotta thank Jaebeom. If it wasn’t for him, I won’t have the courage to apply there.” Jinyoung raised his eyebrows at you, “Ah, I remember him. Great guy. Forgive me if I ask, are you & him dating?” He was red, thank god you both were drinking or else you’ll notice the redness on his face. “No, were not dating! He’s like a brother to me. I haven’t dated ever since we met until now.” You smiled at him. “And you? Of course, as a CEO, you got to meet lovely ladies. Tell me more!” His eyes were dark and said, “I don’t just date around, y/n. I’m still waiting for you.”

A moment of silence passes and you asked him, “Why me? I mean, you were my sugar daddy! That’s—” He cut you off, “Correction, my love. I’m still your ‘sugar daddy’. We haven’t signed the closure agreement.” He smirked at you. You looked at him in surprise and thought to yourself, two can play at the same time. “Oh, really? So? What do you want?” You have to blame it on the alcohol. You’re now drunk as hell. And it was hot in the room. You pushed your shorts and now you’re just wearing your underwear and shirt because you left your bra to dry.

“You.” Jinyoung held your face. “Tell me if you want me to stop. Tell me.” He’s closer, and just like that he kissed you. And you kissed back. His hands roaming at your back and your hands on his hair. He’s murmuring, I miss you so much, in between kisses. When he pulled out, you whined, “Why did you stop?” He pulled you onto his lap and said, “Not now baby. You’re drunk. What we’ll do is we sleep. Let’s go now.” You insisted, “But—” He hushed you, “No buts!” He carried you into his room and got your shorts as well. The moment he placed you in his bed, you were already sleeping like a child. He said to himself, what do I do with your stubborn ass?

You wake up the next morning, your head aches so much. “Ugh, hang-over sucks.” You said as you turn to see Jinyoung still sleeping. You were staring at his beautiful face, your fingers running through his hair and then you stopped. When you were about to leave the bed, his hands snaked through your waist, “Don’t leave yet, please.” He whispered in your ears. You turned around to face him once again, now he’s awake, “Jinyoung, I want to end what we have.” You sighed, he replied, “W-what?” You stood up and seated beside him, “We have to end the sugar daddy thingy! I mean how are we supposed to move on from that?” Jinyoung sighed in relief, “Okay but please let me spoil you. You deserve it.” You’re now on top of him and you giggled, “No, love. We’ll be equals now. I can’t just let you spend things for me.” Jinyoung hugged you tightly and said, “Hmm.. Okay. Agreed! I gotta thank Jaebeom for encouraging you. You’re worth the wait, baby. I love you.” Both of you stayed there for a while. Jinyoung feels nothing but contentment and happiness.

[kiyokoks]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

i was tagged by @baqukou so let’s do this !!

1.  What is the color of your hairbrush? my main one is purple but i have a yellow wet brush for after i shower :P

2. Name a food you never eat? olives !! i can’t stand them, every time i get a beef empanada i personally stick my fingers inside and pull the olive out 

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm! i get hot super easily i’m like an overpowered space heater

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? playing animal crossing: new horizons on my switch lite !! i laid down the construction for the river bridge and am trying to build three new houses for arriving villagers :))

5.  What is your favorite candy bar? it’s not from canada so i can’t always have it but from peru aka where my mom is from but the white chocolate sublime bar w nuts !!! it’s so good i ration my candy from the motherland

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports event? yea! in jr high aside from playing basketball, i qualified for the edmonton public schools zones sports fest for running, though i can’t remember which dash in particular

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “voya ir a me cuarto” aka im going to go to my room in spanish to my mom

8. What is your favorite ice cream? mint chocolate chip! i love the sweet but spearmint taste

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee with sugar and almond milk 

10. Do you like your wallet? yes !! it’s a white coach wallet my mom bought me when we went to calgary cross iron mills mall it’s super cute

11. What was the last thing you ate? quesadillas for breakfast bc they’re easy to cook (i’m lactose intolerant but some things are worth the abdominal pain!!)

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i got two new shirts i ordered online from hot topic !! one of them is a black my hero academia heroes rising movie poster shirt, and one is a yellow bakugou t-shirt 

13. The last sporting event you watched? the haikyuu!! season 3 shiratorizawa match

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? caramel omg my mom makes the best caramel popcorn with nuts 

15.  Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend ally !! she let me visit her island yesterday to chop trees for that last bit of softwood i needed for timmy and tommy’s shop

16. Ever go camping? yea! my jr high had an annual fall camping trip for 3 days where we’d hang out and play games at night it was awesome i actually miss it a lot

17.  Do you take vitamins? yea lmao my mom always worries that i’m not eating well and need vitamins

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? i used to, but now i have a shift in the morning at w*rk every sunday so nope not anymore

19. Do you have a tan? you bet! my mom is from peru but she’s kinda light-skinned (by south american standards) but my dad is from el salvador and is VERY brown skinned so i have a very obvious brown tan all year round bc genetics !! it’s obvs darker in the summer tho 

20.  Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? chinese food all the way babeyyy !! dim sum is so fucking good i could never give it up, i even had my 18th birthday at a chinese hot pot restaurant w all of my homegirls

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? nope lolol i think i did once or twice at like a party

22. What color socks do you usually wear? usually pink or purple 

23.  Do you ever drive above the speed limit? i don’t drive but if i did i wouldn’t i hate reckless drivers so fucking much

24. What terrifies you? needles and gory medical procedures !! i remember when i watched the 100 and one of the season finales where they extract bone marrow was rough for me to watch i screamed very quietly 

25. Look to your left, what do you see? im sitting down at my desk so my switch lite

26. What chore do you hate? laundry bc if u fuck it up there’s real consequences

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? i have to hold myself back from laughing it’s so funny

28. What’s your favorite soda? another thing from the motherland but inca cola !! it’s kinda hard to find but when i do get it ohhh my goddd

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? typically im hanging out w my friends when i get fast food so yea we go inside 

30. Who’s the last person you talked to? my mami 

31. Favorite cut of beef? tendon!! it’s so fucking good in Vietnamese pho i sometimes pay for extra 

32.  Last song you listened to? boy with luv (feat. halsey) by bts

33. Last book you read? does fic count ?? bc if so chapter 28 of the devil ships zeku on ao3

34. Favorite day of the week? monday !! bc no w*rk and it’s the start of a new week

35. Can you say the alphabet backwards? god nope nope no i don’t have the brain cells

36. How do you like your coffee? with sugar and almond milk though idk how much sugar i just kinda match it with the amount of instant coffee whoops

37. Favorite pair of shoes? my red timberland boots !! they go with everything i wear and are super comfy for a long day at uni, plus they can take any kind of weather (this sounds like a sales pitch lmfaoofhf)

38. The time you normally go to sleep? pre-quarantine was like 10:30PM since i had to wake up at 5 to get ready in time for my mom to drop me off at the bus stop for my 8AM classes but quarantine bedtime is more like 1AM now

39.  The time you normally get up? usually around 7am or 8am, but for w*rk on the weekends around 6am

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!! they’re so pretty to look at 

41. How many blankets on your bed? four !! i sleep with four blankets at night so i’m ultra warm

42. Describe your kitchen plates: hmmm well they’re white with a nice flower pattern, but we also have some tiny plain white ones and then some multicoloured plastic ones

43.  Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? well i don’t like alcohol in general but the one time i did try it w my friends at a restaurant it was kinda sweet so that was nice

44.  Do you play cards? kind of ?? if someone brings a pack of cards im down but i never carry any myself

45.  What color is your car? i don’t have a car but black would be nice 

46. Can you change a tire? nope i don’t drive and on top of that i’m a dumbass HOWEVER if i do get a car i will learn how to !!

47. Your favorite province? British Columbia bc they don’t have dumbass, oil loving, neo-con war hawk fuckwits like we do here in alberta

48. Favorite job you’ve ever had? i pretty much hate my job with everything that is inside me but doing online grocery delivery has almost no customer interaction so i like that

49.  How did you get your biggest scar? hmmm well i have one on my left ankle from when i sprained it by being a dumbass and trying to ballet spin on my slippery kitchen floor with socks on but other than that i have no scars

50. What did you do today that made someone else happy? i let my little sister play on my switch lite for a bit with a different game and i helped my mom with her virtual farm on her ipad

thanks for tagging me !! feel free to do this if u want but im gonna take @thebakuboy @bakugobinch @detectivejigsawpines and @noticemedeku

[wewillwriteyou]

Friends Will Be Friends || Chapter 1

Prologue

A few elements from the main plot: A very special group of friends: early days, drama, laughter, booze, success, rock stars life, girl power, friendship, love, sex, music, misunderstandings, some more drama, family. Pairings in the tags

Summary Chapter 1: Introduction of some of the main characters (Melissa, Roger). We don’t wanna give away to much, just read it lol

Word count: 2.3K

Warnings: mention of alcohol, a little bit of swearing and angst (blink and you won’t see it)

A/N: We’re sooo excited to share with you the first chapter of our story. Please feel free to comment below and let us know what you think. If you need more information, click on the link at the beginning of this post. If you want to be tagged, our tag list is always open 💕

Giggles. That’s the thing that woke Mel that Saturday. Well, that and almost every other Saturday morning of the year, actually.  She slowly got up from the bed, rubbing her eyes and walked towards the source of the noise, which she already knew it to be some floozy girl sitting on the kitchen counter. And there she was, in fact, legs dangling on the counter and sitting on a stool right in front of her, Mel’s brother, Roger, the reason for the girl’s presence.

She was all giggly and flirty, while not so subtly caressing Roger’s arm and thanking him for the previous night and for the impromptu breakfast he had so kindly made for her. Meanwhile, Roger was literally on another planet: he was nodding along with what the girl was saying, barely paying attention and writing something on a scrambled piece of paper.

They were too busy to notice that Mel had made her way into the room and was now standing on the other side of the counter, preparing some coffee to go. She gazed at her brother, giving him a look that said I wish I woke up one Saturday not feeling like we live in a bed and breakfast for one-night-stands. He scrolled his shoulders and kept on writing. That was their way of saying ‘Good morning’.

They performed that same routine since Mel had started uni and moved in with him and his roommate. They grew up in a small city in Cornwall and since Roger moved to London to study biology, it seemed a logical decision for Mel to attend university in London as well. She was into Physics so her high school professor encouraged her to submit for a scholarship at the Imperial and that’s exactly where she ended up.

From where she was standing, Mel noticed a mass of wavy brown hair lying on the couch, feet on the coffee table and book on the lap, trying his best to concentrate on his reading. That was Brian, the third roomer of the apartment. He studied Physics as well but was almost four years ahead of her. He was one of Roger’s best friends and co-founder of a band named Smile, which the two of them had formed a few years before: Roger played the drums, while Brian was on the guitar. They had struggled for a while to find a new singer since their former one left, but eventually another friend of Roger’s, Freddie, joined and things started to work out okay again. The only thing missing was a bass player, but they were working on that.

“I think I should go, thanks again for last night Rog” the girl smirked at Roger “Give me a call sometime”

He smirked back at her as she went toward the door, but Mel knew he would not have called her. That’s just how Roger was like different girl every weekend, sometimes two, one incredible night of passion and then they would never hear from him again. Mel could not understand how those girls put up with him being such a jerk. Although she might have understood why they fell for him at first: he was actually handsome and he was in a band, so that did half of the work.

“Just when I think you could have changed and actually cared about that girl enough to make her breakfast, you ruthlessly shrug her off like that” she teased him.

Roger ruffled her hair passing behind her “There’s no hope for me, little sister” he said jokingly “and also, Brian made breakfast. Thanks mate, by the way”

Brian flipped him off without even lifting his eyes from the book, then added “What time do you get off work tonight Mel?”

“I have a shift from 9 am to 1 pm and then from 2 pm to 7 pm. As usual. Why you ask?” she said, already picturing the answer.

“Do you have any plans after that?” Brian said casually.

“Why. Do. You. Ask?” she repeated more forcefully.

“Well,” he said cautiously “we’re playing at the Riz tonight and you know it’s always kinda… well, it’s not popular, we were wondering if you wanted to come see us. You know, so that we have at least one person in the audience”

Mel snorted “No Bri, you know I hate that place: there are only middle-aged men that make unflattering comments to every young girl who enters the bar”

She didn’t have to look at him, she knew he was making puppy eyes at her, so she sighed “Fine! If – and I say if – my afternoon shift doesn’t kill me, I’ll try to stop by…”

Brian joyfully thanked her, and she excused herself to go get ready for her job.

She worked on Fridays, Saturdays and basically anytime she could at a local shop called Biba: they stored famous and expensive clothing, which she could only admire the beauty of, not being an expert on the subject. It was just a small job to make some extra money and help out Roger with the rent.

As she walked through the doors she was welcomed by her co-workers Mary and Chelsea: all three of them were hired on the same day and had been working there since summer. They often chitchatted during breaks but weren’t properly friends, well Mary and Chelsea were, but Mel never hung out with them outside of work, which was why she was surprised when Mary asked her

“What are you doing tonight?”

“I kinda promised a friend I would quickly stop by the bar where they’re playing, before heading home. But I have all the intention to blow them off in favor of sitting in front of the telly, watching Coronation Street” she answered, already picturing the warmth of the blanket and cup of tea in her hands. “You doing anything special?”

The two girls exchanged a look and Chelsea said:

“Well… a friend of ours is throwing a party near Ealing’s main building and he asked everyone to spread the buzz. Apparently, someone challenged him to gather the biggest number of people he could. There will be music and, hopefully, a lot of alcohol. You interested?”

She almost denied the offer, but she had to admit she was actually pretty tempted and then realized she hadn’t been to a party in a bit.

“I’m in” she finally said with a smile.

The three of them worked peacefully till closing hour and then headed to the party together. She had to admit they were quite good company and they seemed to get along pretty well.

The party was held in the exhibitions area in the Design department of Ealing College, which was unused at that time; Mary and Chelsea knew their way around since they both studied design there. The place was not that crowded but there must have been at least three hundred people, mostly students and half of them was already tipsy due to the pints of beer that were being distributed at the entrance. The girls grabbed one each and dove into the crowd, making their way towards the dance platform.

They chatted for a bit, laughing and starting to feel the alcohol inebriating their mind as they begin to feel the rhythm of the music. While they were dancing Mel felt someone passing behind her to reach Chelsea, grabbing her by the waist and almost making her spill her drink.

“Oh my God Tom I almost spilled all of this on the girls” Chelsea screamed.

He apologized quickly, gave her a kiss and offered to get rid of their empty glasses.

“Are you okay?” Mel asked, seeing the annoyed look on her face.

“No… Yeah… I’m sorry about Tom, he’s – well he’s my boyfriend but we’ve been through a rough time and I didn’t expect him to be here.” she said and thought I hoped he wouldn’t be here.

Chelsea didn’t exactly know how or when it had started but for the last couple of weeks, things between her and Tom had been… different. They had been together for almost three years and known each other since grade school, but all of a sudden, they were unable to communicate with each other without fighting. That’s why she had hoped to have fun that night, trying not to think about the fact that she was considering the idea of breaking up.

“Don’t worry doll, we’re gonna make sure you have fun tonight.” Mary said “C’mon, let’s dance” and she dragged both of them on the dancing floor.

They danced a couple of songs, then the band announced the end of their set, so the girls decided to go for another drink.

“Go find a place we can sit, I’ll go get the drinks” Mel offered, and she made her way to the counter and ordered three more pints. She thanked the bartender and fumbled to keep all of them in her hands when suddenly someone bumped into her back and she lost grip of one of the glasses, pouring the drink on the floor and on the shirt of a guy next to her at the counter.

“Hey would you mind looking where you’re going?” she furiously said. But the person who hit her was already mixed with the crowd.

“What a jackass”

Mel turned around to meet the eyes of the person who just spoke and realized that was the guy she had spilled the beer on.

Her eyes widened as she said “I am so sorry for your shirt”

She grabbed some towels from the counter and added “Here let me help you”

“Don’t worry I was headed home anyway. My band just finished the set so that’s a wrap for tonight” he said jokingly

She grinned “Wait you were playing just now? You guys were good! What do you play?”

“I’m the bassist” he said smiling “It’s very kind of you, but I know we’re not that good” he chuckled.

“Well my brother’s in a band and they replace the bassist almost every two months because they’re all shitty and I was there every time… So trust me when I say that you are actually pretty good”

He flushed and quickly answered “Well in this case, thank you”

They were standing really close, while she was dabbing the towel on his shirt and when she looked up he was looking at her.

He smiled at her and she could feel her cheeks flush bright red, as she smiled back, thinking he had the most handsome smile she had ever seen.

She was brought back to reality by the new band coming up on stage and making the crowd cheer.

“I should go find my friends” she said picking up the pints

His smile vanished and he tried to hide the disappointment “Sure, I think I’ll head home anyway”

She saw him smiling slightly before she turned on her heels and headed towards the tables. She was still smiling when she sat beside Mary.

“How come you only have two?” she asked.

“Oh, well I didn’t feel like drinking another one all by myself” she shrugged her shoulders, restraining a smile.

“What are you all smiley about?” Chelsea asked smirking.

Mel couldn’t help but picture his smile again and chuckled “It’s nothing, I think a drank too much of that stuff, I feel all tipsy” before realizing she hadn’t even asked him what his name was.

Chelsea was not at all convinced, but she decided not to investigate.

She was startled by hand over her shoulder and when she looked up she saw Tom, who said: “We need to talk”

She got up, already knowing how this would have ended up, but decided to confront him once and for all.

“I’m all ears” she said when they distanced themselves enough from the crowd

“What’s going on Chel? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks”

“I’m not avoiding you… I just – I just need a bit of time”

“What for? Don’t you trust me enough to tell me what’s bothering you?”

It was always like that with Tom. Everything was about him. She was so sick of that.

“No, Tom, it’s not you” she snorted “I just think I need a bit of time to sort things out”

“What does that even mean? Are you telling me you want to break up?”

“NO! I didn’t say that! Christ Tom, you are always pushing my buttons!” she yelled, scoffing and rubbing her forehead. She continued calmer “Look, I love you, but you can’t deny we’ve been fighting a lot recently and seem to have lost the ability to communicate properly.”

He looked her dead serious in the eyes and she cautiously carried on “Don’t you think we need a break? I don’t mean breaking up.” She quickly added seeing the look on his face “I just think – carrying on with our lives trying to sort things on our own and then maybe-”

“Maybe what Chelsea?” he blurted out “Are you suggesting we see other people? Oh fuck, is there someone else?” he said running his hands in his hair “Please tell me it’s not John” he added pointing an accusatory finger at her.

“What? No Tom no! We are roommates but he’s my best friend and yours too by the way.” She replied, hurt by his insinuation.

“Tom there is no-one okay? I just want to be by myself for a while, God why can’t you understand that!”

“Well maybe you should stay on your own forever” he spat out “I’m done with this shit. Call me when you’re back being yourself Chel”

He said that with a poisonous tone however she couldn’t help but think he was right. He left, and she felt tears stinging her eyes. She had to get out of there: she bolted through the crowd excused herself with the girls and rushed out in the hallway before they could catch her.

All she wanted to do was scream from the top of her lungs she had had enough. As she walked rapidly towards the apartment where she hoped to find John’s comforting arms, tears started to stream down her face.

Chapters: | next ⤑

[lowishigh]

20 Things I accomplished in 2019

I thought 2019 has been the shittiest year of my life. But then I thought about it again, this time thinking a little bit harder, and realized that it isn’t so terrible after all. It’s been a year of growth and transformation. Yes, it came with a lot of pain. I mean A LOT OF PAIN. But now I look back, it was worth the ride and I feel nothing but grateful for everything I went through.

Here are the 20 things I think I can really be proud of or content with accomplishing in 2019:

1. Work out regularly

This was my number one goal for 2019. I didn’t believe that I could persevere, especially not with exercising, but I actually made it a habit and I feel so much healthier and stronger now. The best thing about working out regularly is that it helps me to reduce stress and feel a lot more positive about my body. Most importantly, I’ve decreased my body fat percentage by almost 5%!

2. Overcome a breakup

I ended a 2.5 year relationship with someone who I really once believed that I could love forever. I got dumped with a really shitty accusation through texts and I wanted to kill myself when it happened. I didn’t think I could recover from it at first. I begged for that person’s love and another chance to show him that I can be good enough for him. In the first two weeks I couldn’t eat and felt numb most of the time. But gradually I regained my strength with the help of my friends and by focusing on working and engaging in activities. I found my inner peace and started to examine this relationship from different perspectives. The more I reflect on it, the more I understand that it wasn’t meant to be and I’m blessed that he at least was decent enough to let me go so I can have the opportunity to meet the next person who’s got what it takes to build a healthy, mature, and happy relationship that I deserve with me. This experience was priceless and I’ve learned so much from it. I feel like I know myself and what I want/need better now. And this grounds me for getting ready for a relationship that’s worth my best energy.

3. Undergraduate diploma

In fact, I’m not particularly proud of this but I still spent five years working on it and life could be a lot harder without a diploma so I still want to put it on the list to sort of celebrate it. It’s also for acknowledging the fact that I’m not a student anymore.

4. Let go of an unrequited love

This is a weird one, I know. How could I possibly be in love with someone else for over a decade while feeling like I was drowning in sorrow because of a breakup?

It dates back to a long time ago and we have a long history. I’m not gonna go into it but this person has always been really important to me and he always will. We missed each other multiple times at different stages of life because of a lot of things we weren’t in control of. And I had always wanted to tell him how I felt but never found the right timing nor the courage to do it. So it was a big step forward that I finally did it this summer.

I’m so glad that I did it and am even happier about our friendship growing stronger after having a brutally honest conversation about everything. I’m also really relieved because now I can really move on and stop wondering about the “what if”s. I’m forever grateful for the purest form of love he had displayed to me in the past and the continuous support he offers whenever I need it. Cheers to a lifelong friendship and honesty!

5. Scuba diving license

It was an exciting adventure and made me realize that there’re still so many fun things out there I want to explore and experience. I also got to see how beautiful my country is and spent some really wonderful time with my friends. Through getting this license, it really empowered me to get out of my comfort zone and feel excited about the unknown. This means a lot to me also because my ex boyfriend held me back from trying scuba diving in the past for his own fear of getting deep into the sea. I felt like in a way I was shaking off the chains he put on me when I finally got my license. It meant freedom and independence. 

6. Made new friends

2019 has always been a year full of new friends. These new friends expand my worldview and pour in fresh ideas to my mind. It’s amazing to review how many new people I have met this year and how much I have learned from each of them. I also received so much love and care from people who barely knew me but were generous and kind enough to offer help, support, advice, and guidance. I’m thankful to them for showing me the best side of human beings and I want to do this for others, too.

7. Reconnect with old friends

New friends are indeed fresh and exciting but catching up with old friends always makes me feel extra blessed. Especially with international friends, you never know when and where you’re gonna see each other again the next time, so it’s for sure the best feeling when you get to hang out together again. I’ve had several opportunities to do this with some old friends I made overseas this year and I’m truly grateful for this. It’s never easy to maintain contact with people far away from you but I always try my best. 

8. Travel

I love traveling and compared to the previous years, I haven’t done much traveling in 2019. But I’m still super glad that I got to spend 2 weeks in London and a week in Portugal this year. All the places I visited were amazing and worth revisiting. Moreover, London truly inspired me to do anything I can to move away from Taipei so I won’t feel stuck constantly. It’s a pity that I didn’t make it to Vietnam or New York like I planned to earlier this year. And I might not get the same luxury to travel so much like in uni as I have work responsibilities now and less money to spend freely. But I will definitely still try to do a trip or two every year in the future!

9. Joining VO1SS Taiwan

I came across this opportunity by randomly scrolling on Facebook. I got introduced to the founder and got the position of editor in chief of VO1SS Taiwan right away. It’s always really encouraging when people tell me that they immediately see my potential and think my personality is suitable for taking on an important role. Although this is an unpaid job at a non-profit organization, I truly appreciate having this opportunity to work with passionate and driven people with the vision of connecting people around the world together with a digital interactive media. I’m constantly learning about what it means to be a good leader in this role and I’m so grateful of all the advice and feedback I get from my teammates. 

10. Showing up for my family during the toughest time

We’ve had plenty of ups and downs this year in my family. When unexpected things hit, the only thing you could do is stick through it with your loved ones and react in the calmest, most reasonable way possible so you don’t hurt even harder with the train wreck. Each of the challenges was super tough for me but I did my best to show up for everyone anyway. I’m not saying that I did everything perfectly, but I did what I could do and what I thought I had to do to offer help and support. Most importantly, I also had to hold myself together and lower the impact of these things to my mental stability as much as possible. It really was very difficult for me and for everyone. Through these hardships, I learned that there’re always gonna be things that you have no control over in life and it’s okay to not always know what to do. It’s scary as f*ck which is why it’s important to have a strong support system and safety net with people who truly care and can offer good advice.  

11. Becoming aware of sustainability and cruelty-free

I started paying more attention to the harm of over-consumerism to the environment and also to our peace of mind after watching the documentary film “Minimalism”. I took a good look at how I was living, how much unnecessary purchase I made, and how much waste I produced obliviously over the years. So I decided to change my habit of consuming and reduce the harm of it as much as possible. I’m constantly looking for affordable, environmentally friendly, and cruelty-free products. I think twice before buying anything now. I’ve stopped spending money on things because I “want” them but because I truly “need” them or see the value of them. 

12. Listening to podcasts

For some reason, podcasts never really interested me up until this year. More and more friends around me told me that they’re listening to podcasts and each of them recommended something that they really love listening to. That’s how I got into the world of podcasts and I find a lot of the contents up there really informative and helpful. Now, instead of music, I sometimes listen to podcasts on health, spirituality, and language/culture learning during commute and shower. It has certainly opened another window for me to absorb knowledge and connect to the world. 

13. Doing online courses

Another thing that I really got into this year is online courses. Ironically, when I was still a full-time student, I could never really finish any online courses because learning was a mandatory thing. Now that I’m working, I find learning such a luxury and I’m loving every second of sitting down and learning something new for a couple of hours. I’m also really glad that I pushed myself out of the comfort zone to take the courses that contain some math and science which had always been something I was so afraid of in school. I even started learning how to code which is absolutely something I would never have imagined for myself a year ago. It feels really good to know that I can learn anything and that there’s no limit in learning. When I feel stuck in life, going back to learning always makes me feel alive again. 

14. Becoming  more responsible and careful with money (investment in funds)

I’ve never been so stressed out about money in my life like this time right now. I’m earning very little and don’t have much extra money to save up. However, I made up my mind to save as much as possible regardless of how little the amount might be. 

15. Discover my passion in public health

I was very lost, resentful, and disoriented when I graduated from university. It suddenly struck me that I was way too naive and didn’t seize the opportunity to better prepare myself for the challenges and predicaments in the world of harsh competitions, low salary, and limited choices. Meanwhile, a few things also changed my mind about working in films. For a very long time, I’d always thought it’s something I wanted to do, and losing grip of that left me in a very confusing situation. Luckily, through working on a project related to healthcare and medical services, I discovered that public health is a field that has a lot of potentials and interests me in various aspects. I felt like I have finally found my calling in life and it sets my purpose and direction for the future. 

16. Finished two scripts for short films

Despite my decision of not working in the film industry after graduation, I still want to continue writing stories and creating because it’s always going to be my passion and I believe in the power of storytelling. I was very lucky to have the opportunities to finish two scripts, although one of them wasn’t made into an actual film at the end. The creative process of writing scripts and shooting the movies really reminded me of how much I enjoy presenting a story visually.

17. Livestream talk show

Over the past few years, the idea of running a YouTube channel has crossed my mind several times. However, I never really persisted because I didn’t find a certain theme or topic of which I had so much to talk about. Starting this livestream talk show with my friend was indeed exciting for me because having someone on the show that can interact with me and exchange ideas with is much more interesting than recording content by myself. I wish to start doing podcasts in the coming year. 

18. Switch to a more positive way of using social media

A lot of people believe that a “social media detox” means that you have to be completely off it to regain your inner peace. This method is doable for some people, but definitely not for the majority of the population. We’re way too engaged in the Internet and the culture of media, after all. But there is an alternative solution. Earlier this year, I checked all the accounts I was following on social media and deleted the ones that simply did not “spark joy” for me anymore. I used to follow mostly accounts that feature fashion, beauty and celebrity news that encourage consumerism. After deleting the accounts that only made me feel that I was lacking of something instead of feeling inspired, encouraged, and educated, I started focusing on the contents about health, spirituality, and self-improvement. Right now, whenever I go on social media, I can always expect to learn something or get inspired. For me, social media isn’t a source of anxiety and depression anymore, quite the contrary, it introduces so much positive energy to my life every day. 

19. Healthier sleep routine

I used to have difficulty going to bed and getting up early. I used to always tell people that “I’m not a morning person”. But now I can really appreciate the beauty of morning and the benefits of starting a day early. I stopped staying up super late and I feel much more energetic throughout the day. I can make better use of my time and get more done in the daytime. This change of habit helps me stay focus and on track in life. I finally don’t feel like an irresponsible teenager that feels tired and lack of purpose despite sleeping 10 hours a day. 

20. Cut my hair short 

This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for many years. I didn’t do it because I wanted to avoid fights with my ex and I was afraid of other people’s opinions on my haircut. So I just kept sticking to what I’m used to. This November, I finally made up my mind and cut my hair short and I absolutely love how I look now. It’s like a ritualistic thing to do to say goodbye to my past. And I’m really glad that I made the decision purely considering how I feel about it, not anyone else’s opinions.