#i go back to school tmrw
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The urge to write another veluncy kidfic is strong rn
#grace muncy#joe velasco#veluncy#velascy#svu 24#law and order svu#why am i posting this#why am i this way?#i go back to school tmrw
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sick days ◎ s. winchester
summary: after multiple back-to-back hunts, the stress and fatigue gets to sam
pairings: established sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x gn! reader
word count: 3K
warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, taking care of sick! sam, barely edited lol
a/n: my last sam fic before i go back to college and get swamped with my course load. writing will slow down and be posted sparingly but i still plan to post if i have time!
as always, like, reblog, and comment on the fic! i always like hearing constructive criticism and love feedback <33 (also my last fic kinda flopped so give it some love please!)
𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵
It was rare for the boys to get sick. Surprisingly, they had very strong immune systems, and considering how well Sam ate, he would be the last person in the bunker to get sick.
But you guys have been running yourselves ragged with hunting, having gone on them back to back for the past month and a half. It was exhausting, and when you guys made it back to the bunker, you all but collapsed in your shared bed with Sam, not even bothering to get under the covers.
When you got up the next day, you felt significantly better, but exhaustion still riddled your body. You glanced at the clock on your nightstand. It was nearing noon. It didn’t surprise you that you slept that long; the three of you got back to the bunker well into the late morning. You began to get up from next to the sleeping giant next to you, but you were immediately pulled back by a strong arm wrapping around your lower stomach. You let yourself be dragged back into Sam’s body and let his warmth cocoon you.
You feel his jean-covered leg intertwine with yours as your chest hits his back, and Sam leaves a sleepy kiss to your pulse point as he nuzzled you, the scruff on his face from not being able to shave for the past two days scratched softly against your neck, making fond smile stretch on your lips.
“What time is it?” You heard the rasp of Sam’s tired voice whisper in your ear.
“Almost noon.” You told him as you traced shapes on his bare arm before interlacing his fingers through yours, your interlocked hands resting on your abdomen.
Sam let out a soft groan before nuzzling your neck further, making a soft laugh escape you. You reached your free hand to thread through his silky locks and ruffled his hair a bit.
“We should probably get up now.”
Sam mumbled something into your neck, but you couldn’t understand a single word he said.
You huffed an amused laugh through your nose. “Mind speaking up for the rest of the class?
His head raised slightly from your neck. “Don’t want to.” Sam grumbled out before his head fell back to his previous spot.
You smiled at Sam’s childlike nature. He could get grumpy when he crashes from a long hunt and doesn’t go on his morning runs.
“We should. We’re still in our clothes from last night.” Your nose wrinkled at the thought.
You weren’t a stranger to sleeping in your jeans or your hunting clothes.
Before even meeting the Winchesters and moving into the bunker when you started to date Sam, you had collapsed into a motel bed (or a hundred) with your jeans on. But considering you were used to having somewhere you considered home now, you more often than not slept in your pajamas, even if you were dead tired from a hunt.
Sam grunted and tightened his hold on you, shaking his head in your neck. You could only imagine what you and Sam looked like right now—having a 6’4 man completely wrapped around you. You mentally shook your head and managed to pry yourself out of his arms.
Sam let out a whine of protest as you left the bed but decided that he wasn’t going to get out of bed anytime soon, so he rolled over to his stomach and went back to sleep.
You saw his breathing even out, and you shook your head. There was a soft smile on your face as you rounded the bed to his side to kiss Sam on the forehead. He unconsciously smiled at the contact. You left his side to grab a change of pajamas from the dresser. You decided a shower was in order before you decided to cook up some lunch for everyone.
You doubted that Dean was even awake at the moment, but to check, you peeked your head into his room to find your suspicions to be correct. Dean was sprawled out on his bed, but it seemed that he was able to strip down to his boxers and a t-shirt. You closed his door quietly and shuffled off to the shower room.
Once you were freshly clean and refreshed, the shower having given you some energy, you padded into the empty kitchen and decided to whip up some food for you and the boys. You started the coffee maker and looked in the fridge to see it somewhat stocked, but you knew that you or Dean would have to make a supply run in the coming days.
You settled on making sandwiches for you and the boys, and when the coffee was done, Dean stalked into the kitchen. It looked like he was moving on autopilot, moving towards the mugs and coffee pot, pouring himself a cup before plopping himself down at the table. Dean hadn’t bothered changing; all he did was shrug on his ‘dead guy’ robe and his hair sticking up in different directions, having been mussed up from sleeping. You placed his just-made sandwich in front of him, and he let out a grunt of thanks before diving into his lunch (breakfast).
Soon enough, Sam stumbled into the kitchen. He also looked like he rolled out of bed, his flannel wrinkled, but he was able to tame his hair. Sam gave you a grateful smile as he sat at the table, and you placed a cup of coffee and his lunch in front of him. You grabbed your lunch and a water bottle from the fridge. You kissed Sam’s temple before settling next to him at the table, where the three of you ate in comfortable silence.
A couple of days had passed since you came back from the last hunt, and you made the boys take at least a week off from hunting since you had been going on hunts consistently and deserved a break.
You and Sam were relaxing in the library, Sam reading some lore book that he had yet to catalog, and you were reading a mystery/thriller book that you had been meaning to read for a while on your Kindle. The two of you were content in each other’s presence, but you noticed that Sam was clearing his throat more often today.
Sam eventually let out a cough that made you look up at him.
“Need some water hun?” You ask him with furrowed brows.
Sam shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”
You raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure?”
Sam just nodded at you in response. Your eyes lingered on him for a moment before they flicked downward back to your Kindle.
The day passed as it usually did, but the next morning was what you didn’t expect. For one, Sam was still in bed when you had woken up. You were confused because Sam was a stickler for his routine in the mornings. You glanced at the clock, the green letters reading 9:14 AM, which was a little later than you would usually get up, but you were still catching up on sleep.
You decide to leave Sam in bed, figuring that he needs to do the same thing and go to the bathroom to do your morning routine. When you came back into the room to change, Sam was awake, resting on the headboard, but he was sniffling and looked pale. You quickly rushed over to him.
“You doing alright there babe?” You asked as you made it to his side of the bed and sat next to him. You reached out to feel his forehead, but he leaned away from your touch.
“Don’t, I’m going to get you sick.” Sam’s voice was raspy and tired.
“I’ll be fine, I just wanna see if you’re running a fever.”
Sam didn’t seem to like that idea but relented, leaning towards your hand. The back of your hand hit his forehead for a moment, pursing your lips as you felt his temperature before cupping his cheek, your thumb caressing the beauty mark near his eye.
“You’re running a little warmer than usual, let me go see if we have a thermometer somewhere. Stay here.” You ordered him.
Sam huffed but nodded as he sunk back into the bed. You smiled, pinching his cheek before releasing it.
“Good boy.” You teased as you stood up.
Sam rolled his eyes at you, a tired smile playing on his lips.
You quickly made your way to the infirmary, hoping that the Men of Letters had a thermometer that wasn’t made of mercury, but you had an inkling that they didn’t. You passed Dean as you made your way to the infirmary, and he called out to you, seeing your hasty speed.
“What’s wrong?” He asked when he noticed you were going in the direction of the infirmary.
“Sam is sick and might be running a fever.”
Dean’s eyebrows knit in confusion and slight concern, now walking with you, abandoning the direction he was already walking in. “You’re telling Mr. Health nut got sick? How?”
“Not sure. But I have a feeling it’s because we had been running around on hunts and since we hadn’t been on one for a couple of days, the exhaustion and stress finally hit and this is how his body is reacting.” You explained to Dean your theory as to why Sam got sick, knowing how uncommon it was for them to get sick.
“I’ll go out and grab some stuff for him. I have to do a supply run anyway.” Dean said as you two left the infirmary, nearly turning the place upside down, trying to find a thermometer that wasn’t made with mercury. You highly doubted that Sam wanted mercury poisoning, and that was the thing that took him out instead of a monster (again).
You nodded. “I’ll text you a list.”
Dean patted your shoulder before the two of you parted ways, you in the direction of your shared room with Sam and Dean in the direction of the garage.
You made it back to your shared room to find Sam dozing off, sniffling, and clearing his throat. Sam’s tired eyes snapped to yours as you moved across the room to sit by his feet at the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?” You asked him gently, letting your hand rest on his ankle.
“Cold, and I can’t breathe out of my nose.” Sam’s voice was hoarse and sounded congested.
You sent Sam a sympathetic smile. “Dean’s out getting you some stuff right now, he should be back in a bit.” You gave Sam’s ankle a reassuring squeeze.
“Did you find a thermometer?”
You huffed. “Yes, but they were made of mercury and broken. I don’t think you would have appreciated getting mercury poisoning on top of being sick.”
Sam chuckled before it turned into a coughing fit. You cringed at the sound of his cough and stood up from your place on the bed.
“I’ll get you some water and tissues.”
You entertained Sam for about an hour before Dean came back. It looked like he bought the entire drugstore with the two bags full of medicine and other supplies that he thought you might’ve needed in the future. Well, at least the infirmary would be stocked with cough and flu medicine.
You whipped a quick lunch for Sam that he could stomach before taking the meds. After Sam ate the small lunch you gave him, you made him take some Dayquil and placed a cold washcloth on his forehead. You were expecting for him to make a fuss about taking medicine, having heard the stories that Dean told you of Sam when he was sick when they were younger.
You let Sam take a nap, knowing the only way that he would get better faster is if he just rested. You were planning on prepping Sam’s dinner while he slept, but as you walked into the kitchen, you found Dean at the stove cooking some veggies in a pot.
“I was going to do that, you know?” You said as you walked over to Dean and looked at the ingredients for tomato soup scattered on the metal countertop.
“Well, taking care of Sasquatch over there is a handful and figured you needed all the help you could get.” Dean looked at you with a shrug of his shoulder, but you could hear the undercurrent of fondness over the nonchalant tone that he had.
“Mmhm. Okay, well do you need any help?”
“You can start making the grilled cheeses’.”
A couple of hours later, there was a plate filled with grilled cheese sandwiches (most of which were for Dean) and piping hot tomato soup that was enough for a small army. You tiptoed into the low-lit room of Sam’s bedroom, who was still asleep, with a tray filled with food, water, medicine, and a thermometer (a digital one). You placed the tray on the nightstand on the side Sam was lying on and sat down next to him.
You looked down at the sleeping man in front and noticed how much younger he looked as he did. The crease in between his eyebrows was smoothed out, and stress wasn’t etched in his features as he breathed as evenly as he could with a congested nose. You shook your head in slight disbelief at how beautiful this man was even when he was sick.
You took off the now warm towel on Sam’s forehead and gently brushed back the strands of hair that were dampened by the towel. Sam stirred at your ministrations as he groggily blinked the sleep from his eyes.
“Hey sleepy head.” You said with a gentle smile. You were able to gauge his temperature as your hand brushed against his forehead for a moment before petting the long strands of his brunette locks.
Sam cracked a smile and your hand fell from his hair as he pulled himself up and rested against the headboard. He was still dressed in the white t-shirt and flannel pajama pants he went to sleep in.
“How long was I out for?” Sam asked as he cleared his throat slightly.
You gave him the water bottle from earlier. “Give or take a few hours.”
Sam took a sip of water, glancing at the alarm clock before capping his water bottle and nodding. He stretched his neck out with a slight groan before his head hit his headboard with a small thump.
“Still tired?” You watched him carefully.
“Yeah, and I feel like I was tossed around by a demon,” Sam said as he absent-mindedly cracked his knuckles.
You let out a small chuckle.” I mean, you did about a month ago.” You joked.
Sam shot you a glare, but it had no heat behind it as he was still looking at you through tired eyes. “Haha, very funny.” He said dryly.
You sent him a smirk. “Thank you, I’ll be here all night.”
“Unfortunately.”
You pointed a stern finger at him. “Hey, you should be nicer to the person who’s taking care of your sick ass or I’ll make sure you get mercury poisoning.”
Sam rolled his eyes at your empty threat. “I could take care of myself.”
You raised an unconvinced eyebrow at him, your mind immediately flicking back to all of the times you had to pry him away from researching in the library to sleep.
You hummed unconvincingly. “Sure you could big boy.” You quipped before reaching for the tray on the nightstand and placed it above his lap. The tray had legs, so it didn’t have to rest precariously on his lap.
“Enjoy dinner, Dean and I made it.” You smiled at him before petting his head.
Sam looked down at the tomato soup and grilled cheese before him. He couldn’t really smell it, but it looked delicious, and he felt his stomach rumble with hunger.
“Thank you.” Sam’s tone filled with sincerity.
“S’no problem love.” You winked at him before getting up from the bed.
You pointed down at the medicine and the thermometer. “I’ll take your temp after you eat, then you’ll shower, and then take your meds.” You instructed Sam as he began to slurp at the soup.
Sam nodded obediently. “Have you eaten yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Can you eat here with me?”
You smiled at Sam. “Yeah, let me grab my food.”
After you and Sam ate, you took his temperature, which was only at 100 degrees. You managed to get Sam out of bed and into the shower room, where you helped him wash off. He was practically putty in your hands as you washed his hair with the lukewarm water of the shower (he complained of wanting a hot shower, but you knew better than having him shower in hot or cold water when he had a fever).
Once he was clean, he all but stumbled back into the room and collapsed in the bed. Sam was about to fall asleep, but you made him take some medicine before he got under the covers and got swept under by the drug-induced sleep.
You were about to leave Sam’s side to sleep in your old room before you moved into Sam’s room when you felt a tug at your shirt, seeing Sam’s sleepy pout on his face.
“Yes, Sam?”
“Stay.”
“Thought you didn’t want me to get sick.” You teased softly, grabbing his hand from your shirt.
That was a bad idea because he grabbed you with strength that you didn’t expect from a drowsy Sam and pulled you into him on the bed, a yelp escaping your mouth. His arms immediately wrapped around your waist and nuzzled into your neck.
“Don’t care, need you.” He mumbled into your neck, his breath hitting your collarbone as you were chest to chest.
You huffed a small laugh through your nose, threading your hands through his long hair, uncaring of the consequences. “You won’t be saying that when I get sick and blame you for it.”
Sam didn’t respond to you, his breathing evening out before you even said your last word. You shook your head, a knowing smile on your face before you eventually fell asleep yourself.
A week later, Sam took on the caretaker role, and you guys weren’t able to go on a hunt for another two weeks until you felt better.
#daisy writes#the last fic before i go back to school tmrw#wish me luck lol#didn’t come out the way i expected it to but i might rewrite it again in the future 🤷🏻♀️#anyways enjoy!!#sam winchester#sammy my boy#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x gn reader#sam winchester x gn! reader#sam winchester x you#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester fanfiction#sam winchester imagine#sam winchester one shot#sam winchester oneshot#supernatural#spn#supernatural x reader#spn x reader#supernatural one shot#spn one shot#supernatural fanfiction#spn fanfiction#supernatural imagine#spn imagine
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new year new me (new spicynoodles fanart)
#this took 10 hours?? um i literally cannot tell u how#im just slow with everything ever#i go back to school tmrw this is my final hurrah as i hurdle towards burnout again#i love them so very much#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk fanart#lego monkey kid fanart#lmk mk#mk lego monkie kid#red son lego monkie kid#red son lmk#mk lmk#lmk spicynoodles#spicynoodles fanart#monkie kid spicynoodles#spicynoodleshipping#astersstuff
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#bioshock#fanart#digital art#julie langford#i <3 Julie#I didn't forget her glasses this time#Quick drawing cuz I go back to school tmrw so Idk if I'll be able to make a digital piece in awhile#Idk tho#bioshock fanart#bioshock 1#bioshock art
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I fear if I want anything too much that means it's not going to happen. Surely this is not an effect of anything in my early childhood development
#im finishinh applying for school tmrw which logically means ill go. but i dont believe i will#im textinh this girl who is hot asf and shes texting back so logically i have a chance. but i dont believe i do. it feels like bad luck#im getting my drivers permit at the end of the month but i just dont believe i will because it doesnt seem like it
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WHAT BOOTLEG SHOULD I WATCH TONIGHT GUYS?!???!!
#i started be more chill last night but ended up watching mean girls instead#i'll post my list of tbw musicals if wanted#tonight and tmrw night are the last two nights i can stay up till the crack of dawn without facing the consequences of my actions 😔#school starts WEDNESDAY#i'm gonna CRY i don't wanna go back to school pleaseeeee#anyways yeah 😽#musicals#musical#broadway musicals#musical theater#musical theatre#bootleg#musical bootleg#question#open question
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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Draw oc interactions or do homework so I don’t have to do it tmrw
#I just finished an 8 hr Shift and i got another one tmrw and the work is due . tmrw.#dude in highschool I would go to school 5 days a week#and then on weekends work two 10 hour shifts back to back#then still work 3 weekdays after school#meanwhile nowadays a single 8 hour shift has me completely dead .#chatterbox
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going to stream today at 2:30pm est! ^-^
#playing the mancuso save again!! im excited#also i might stream tmrw as well we'll see i guess#im going back to school so im trying to enjoy my free time as much as posible >.<
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🙄🫠
#yk when i said i'm back to being active on tumblr well yeah 😅#i had to write a seminar paper for uni and it hasn't been going well because i got sick and didn't get much done#well i got an extension luckily but it still was a struggle the topic was just rly difficult to write about#i'm almost done now at least some 300 words i still have to write and then proofread and work on better formulating but yay#i should get it done today but yeah i'll manage so i'll be back when i'm done the latest tmrw#but seminar papers are for real my least favorite part of uni 😅 it's so time consuming and can be a real struggle ugh#i rather write an exam lmao#but anyway i needed to rant ://#my money got stolen 🙃😫#sometimes life just throws some shit at you ugh#like having to write this paper and not having a social life anymore isn't enougj#i don't know how it happened? i mean i don't know for sure but i can't explain it another way#like the money was in my wallet the day before yesterday and yesterday the whole day i didn't use my wallet qnd then it was gone??#maybe while i was at uni football but that's crazy it was not some public place but in a school gym lockerroom??#or maybe someone stole it from my backpack on the street idk?? but i didn't notice#but that was money i got for my birthday from my dad and aunts 😪#and i wanted to buy something nice with it and ig i will anyway but it sucks :((#it was not a little no i had 150€ in my wallet 😭 at least my credit cards are still there ig#but i realize now how stupid that probably was to carry so much money with but i thought it was safe fr#like i have lived in austria all my life and this never happened to me 😫 and it was not like i was walking around with my wallet openly#i mean i will be fine it would be a lot worse if that happened to someone who is just barely getting by but i'm still upset#and my mom told me that apparently it happened to a friend of her as well when she was in my city but like i never heard that before...#from any of my friends ... or maybe it really is that more dangerous with thieves in my uni city but like i wasn't aware#bc i mean in general austria is like a very safe country comparatively and feels like it never was on my mind#maybe it's horrible bad luck but in the future I will be careful to carry any cash with me 🙃
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i love . puyopuyo .
#first art of 2023 and it’s this godbless#doodle tag#ignore that I’m suppose to be taking a break from art I’m literally gonna go back to it tmrw bc I have school I just NEEDED to get this out#of my brain bc it’s so funny in my head hfngnrncnnd😭😭#IGNORE THE WAY I DREW A NOSE NOT LIKE A SHAPE. I’m experimenting a little. idk if it’s noticeable here but I am.#puyo puyo
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i'd like to apologize for the ppl who followed me around pjotv time... ig you're stuck on smoshblr until im not going crazy anymore
#im unwell#smosh#smoshblr#shourtney#<- this is all ur faults#how am i supposed to go back to school like this#so grateful for my irl friends who like smosh#alr feeling sorry for them#they're gonna have to hear abt this all over again from me tmrw in person
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i don't wanna go back to school tmrw!!!
#i cant go back its fucking hell there#no one wants me there#no one cares abt me#no one there would care if i died tmrw and never showed up#they treat me like im an outsider DESPITE HAVING GONE TO SCHOOL W THE FOR HALF MY LIFE?@#like i dont belong. and i never will#im unloveable#vicki's shit
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Just got home from Band Day and immediately started reblogging Dale Dimmadome. Someone shoot me.
#i cant feel bellow my knees#i think an amputation would fix me#it wasn't even the marching that killed me#it was the walking almost 2 miles from the busses to the stadium and then back to the busses and back to the stadium and then#the busses again to go home#also didn't help i followed my friends around after our half time performance#i was kinda freeloading iff of them because i didn't have any money expet a 20 dollar bill but EVERYTHIBG WAS CARD ONLY!!!!!!#anyways i have school tmrw and i cant nap after only gettibg about 5 hours of sleep and then continuing to ride home#microwaved textpost#dale dimmadome
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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oh fuck i have to hit the slay button on a way tighter schedule than i thought. its ok i can do it
#thought id have til about six tmrw but i have until four. yes this makes a difference#at six im going to the kid's back to school noght#but tonight a friend who just got back to town offered to go for ice cream at four and then im not going back home until after btsn#the main concern is really nails. and i can perfectly well do them tonight i just dont super want to#and i dont want to do them tmrw bc it would take away from my clothes and makeup time#pussygator proclamations
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