#i give it less than 24 hours before we get a call asking why we don't cover travel costs

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

I'm approving a patient for in patient physical rehabilitation for a month. Patient has all the diagnoses, both chronic and acute, including a pain condition and mobility issues, so there's zero issue with me approving the entire thing.

The hospital informed us that the patient, despite being aware of what's happening and them and having no memory issues, has problems with orientation and maintaining a psychological equilibrium if not provided with a familiar, stable environment. It is therefore vital their spouse come along. Again, I've got all the magic words I need to toss money at that too.

The suggested hospital is on an island an 8 hours' drive away from the patient's home address (one way, under optimal circumstances, provided no breaks are taken). They do not have a department for rehabilitative care, nor do they have an in patient department for the diagnosis listed as motivation for this entire thing. There's at least 6 major cities with excellent, objectively superior rehabilitative medical care on the way to the ferry over.

Hospital claims nothing about this choice of clinic contradicts the needs of this patient. It's purely incidental that this rehab is planned on one of the swankiest vacation spots in the country, just as tourist season starts. Also, we can't deny a patient rehab if there's a medical need for one. (:

[miley1442111]

weird facts- s.reid

a/n: intended for fem reader, but imagine what you like:)))))))))

summary: you finally meet spencer's friends after a very long time, it's just... they don't know about you

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: general cm topics, talk of murder, kissing, suggestive

Spencer felt ill. You weren’t picking up any of his calls, weren’t answering any of his texts, and you hadn’t been seen for a whole 24 hours. According to your friend who was staying over at your house last night, you had gotten a call from work and it meant you had to travel, but it was meant to be within the country, so why weren’t you answering?

“Pretty boy?” Derek called from across the bullpen. “We’ve got a case.”

Spencer quickly followed Derek into the conference room, even if his mind was elsewhere. It sadly, was a mass-murder scheme that they only had a few hours to figure out. 

“Oh yes,” Hotch said under his breath. “We have some help, these are Agents Riley, O’Callahan, and Dr. Y/l/n. They all work with unsubs like these everyday and the doctor here has a lot of background from her time overseas. Please use their help and expertise,” he stated before getting up and ending the meeting. The office was buzzing with movement, but Spencer was too awe-stuck to see you in front of him to move, or really notice the rest of the world around him. It had been 5 months since you’d seen each other in person. Both of your jobs made it practically impossible to see each other more than a few times a year but neither of you minded, you loved each other. 

“Earth to Spencer Reid!” Derek shouted at him and finally broke him out of his trance. 

“Yes?!” He startled, ripping his eyes from your figure immediately. 

“Can we focus on the case please? Not the pretty doctor,” Derek shot you a wink and you rolled your eyes, still unaware of Spencer’s being there because of your engrossment in your files. 

“Yes, fine!” He hissed, beginning the geological profile. 

“Spencer?” You ask, shocked at his being there. 

“Hey honey-” He smiled sheepishly as you wrapped your arms around him in a comforting embrace. The rest of your team and his all looked on, deeply confused. Spencer placed a soft kiss onto your cheek as you smiled. Spencer was over the moon, you were here. You were in his arms. 

“You two know each other?” Agent Riley said with a smirk on his face. “Is that the boyfriend?”

You pulled away despite wanting to hold on longer. You picked back up your casefiles with a contented smile. “Shut up Riley.”

Spencer’s face was red as Morgan, Prentiss, Jj, and Rossi all looked at him in shock. 

“My man,” Derek smirked, giving him a less than soft slap on the back. “Congratulations, how new is it?”

“It’s been 4 years, 77 days, 5 hours and,” He took a split-second to look at his watch. “And 47 minutes.”

Everyone’s jaws dropped more. 

“You’ve been dating him for 4 years?” Agent O’Callahan practically shouted. “We only heard about him for the first time last week!”

“Can’t anyone have privacy anymore,” You muttered, diving into yet another casefile. 

“I have to ask you everything about this-” Derek turned to you but you cut him off. 

“No, you have to build your profile,” You reminded him. “Ask me everything when we catch these fuckers.”

They didn’t need to be told twice.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat in the crowded bar, Derek on your right and Spencer on your left, his hand holding your thigh under the table.

“So, he tells you all the weird facts he tells us too, right?” Derek laughed, entertained by your relationship. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “But I enjoy ‘weird’ facts.”

Derek nodded his head. “You two are seriously perfect for each other,” he smiled. You could feel Spencer squeezing your thigh, his hands getting sweater by the second. 

“He definitely spits out random facts during sex,” Derek said to the blonde woman next to him and Spencer awkwardly cleared his throat, knowing his own tendencies to not shut up, even in the bedroom. You laughed along with them, not actually giving them an answer. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You walked home with Spencer’s hand in yours. You had successfully caught the unsubs, you had stopped the attack, and now you had time to spend with your brilliant boyfriend. 

“Your friends care about you a lot,” you said as you walked down the dark street. Spencer chuckled.

“They like you a lot,” he admitted. “Probably more than they like me.”

“Spencer, Derek looks at you like you’re his little brother, stop it. They’re just happy that you’re happy,” you smiled. “You are happy, right?” You asked, standing outside his apartment block. 

Spencer chuckled at your question, like he could be anything else. You were the kindest, smartest, and most incredible person he’d ever met. You cared and loved him so deeply. You were his everything.

“I’m more than happy,” he smiled before pressing a kiss to your lips.. His glasses slightly hit off your nose but neither of you minded, his hands began to explore as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, pulling him upstairs his apartment block, ready for another night of ‘weird facts’. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, marvel, top gun, obx+)

[baronessvonglitter]

The Haunting of David York

Dave York x ghost!reader

Word count: 2.6K

Summary: It's a typical Halloween night for Dave. The last thing he expects is for you to come back and get your revenge.

(Spoilers below the cut, so resume with caution)

WARNINGS: Rated M; Dead Dove Do Not Eat; mentions of wet work, murder, brief gore, threats of violence towards family, major character death (don't hit me)

Author's Note: this fic is for @mermaidgirl30 Jamie's Halloween Writing Challenge 👻 thank you for hosting this lovely fic challenge!

The idea for this started out as a random discussion about why we're afraid of ghosts if they can't really hurt anyone.. then I wanted to add our favorite suburban murder daddy to a ghost story and got some inspo from watching old school stuff like Creepshow and early seasons of AHS. (I haven't written horror in a very long time, so gimme a little break)

Shoutout to @yorksgirl for the Dave chit chats-- there will be a sweatpants scene in another fic, promise!

"Dave, not again!" Carol whines from the front steps.

"What?" he asks innocently, hefting the human-sized 'body bag' consisting of garbage bags stuffed with leaves and tied up with duct tape to fashion a corpse decoration in the yard for Halloween. Dave has been working on them all day. He's now up to seventeen.

"The HOA is going to complain," his wife shakes her head. "We got away with a warning last year. This time they'll definitely fine us."

"It's worth it to see the looks on everyone's faces," he insists. "Besides, I'll have them picked up and out of sight by the end of the night. I promise."

Dave doesn't love Halloween, but neither does he mind it. People dressing up to be anything other than themselves for one night only? Try doing that 24/7.

He doesn't get to parade around the Mr. Hyde aspect of his life. He doesn't get to knock on doors while in tactical gear, sniper rifle resting in one arm while he sticks an orange jack-o-lantern bucket out to get a handful of tooth-rotting sweets. He doesn't get to wake up on November first and pretend it was all for fun.

It's a silly holiday, but he likes scaring the shit out of the neighbors with the decorations. And his kids love planning their costumes months in advance. Alice is going as a zombie cheerleader (he never understands where these ideas come from) and Molly is some type of Pokemon Dave thinks is a squirrel but she insists is something called an Evoo or Evie or something completely asinine.

Carol usually insists on taking them out trick-or-treating, dressing up herself in a last-minute Minnie Mouse getup, a red sweater and black leggings, and a headband with sequined mouse ears to complete the look.

"You'll be okay here by yourself?" she asks, putting the finishing touches on her mouse whiskers and nose with liquid eye liner in the hall mirror as the girls wait impatiently to leave.

She asks that every year, as if something bad will happen on his watch, as if he can't hack it alone for a couple of hours.

"Unless Michael Myers or Pennywise show up, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine," he says, giving the girls a quick kiss before they go.

"What's Pennywise?" Alice asks as Carol herds them out the door, and she shoots her husband an annoyed glance.

There aren't as many trick-or-treaters this year, and Dave regrets that he'd bought so much candy. He dips his hand into the large tub of mini chocolate bars and fruit-flavored chews that stick to one's teeth and selects some Nerds, eating them straight from the tiny box. With barely concealed disgust he finds the candy corn, plucking the small packets of the hated sweets out from the bowl. He doesn't know how anyone can eat these. These can go to the next kids who ring the doorbell. When the next round of costumed kids come around he gives out huge handfuls. The less sweets they have in the house, the less sugar-fueled meltdowns he's likely to experience from his kiddos.

When there's more of a lull he relaxes on the sofa, mindlessly unwrapping a chocolate bar as the Halloween song hums from the TV, The Nightmare Before Christmas playing where the girls had left it on:

Boys and girls of every age wouldn't you like to see something strange? come with us and you will see this, our town of Halloween

He finds his glass of Macallan pairs nicely with a mini Hershey's Special Dark chocolate that he knows the little trick-or-treaters won't appreciate. The candy rests on his tongue as he savors the lingering taste of the scotch while the movie keeps playing. He absorbs a little of it, a now thirty-year-old film that came out when he was his kids' age. He watches idly, letting the scotch lull him into a nice semi-rest.

This is Halloween, this is Halloween pumpkins scream in the dead of night this is Halloween, everybody make a scene trick or treat, 'til the neighbors gonna die of fright

Enough of the singing. He changes the channel. There's postseason baseball on TV, but his favorite team isn't in the playoffs, and the announcers are annoying. Click. Of course there's a horror marathon on every channel. All the Scream movies, which he can appreciate for their ingenuity, Psycho, Shaun of the Dead, the entire Friday the 13th franchise even though it's Thursday, the 31st.

He flips channels, mindlessly, watching tidbits of each, digging into the leftover candy once again when he hears a thud.

With feline alertness he mutes the TV and sits up straight in one swift move. He zones in on where the sound came from, waiting, his racing heart the most audible sound in his ears.

Most people listen for a sound and relax when they don't hear it again, chalking it up to the house settling, or a rodent in the attic. But Dave knows better. He's been on the opposite side of this type of situation countless times. He doesn't relax and just chalk it up to mundane things like other people, because he knows there are guys like him out there-- becoming one with the shadows, as silent as possible--

It's coming from the back door.

In stealth mode, he grabs his gun from the safe in his study and quickly, skillfully, loads it. Adrenaline sings in his veins, carries him towards the danger. He flips on the light switch for the patio and the lights glare into the dark, lighting up nothing. His gun is still in his hand as he slowly opens the door, listening for footsteps.

Quiet.

A little disappointed that he's gotten riled up for no reason, he sighs as the rush of adrenaline dissipates and leaves him weak for a brief moment.

He keeps the gun in the holster at his side as he returns to the sofa, a little more on edge. It could be just teenage assholes playing pranks out of boredom, but he doesn't want to risk it.

He shuts the TV off and the silence becomes the largest thing in the room, even louder than his thoughts. He's taut as wire, not allowing himself to relax just yet. He's listening for more sounds. Most are explainable: a slow drip in the kitchen sink that Carol told him about just yesterday, the notification pings on his daughter's tablet that she left on the dining room table.

"Fuck!" he curses in surprise as the TV turns on, The Nightmare Before Christmas still playing where it left off:

I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red I am the one hiding under your stairs fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

Dave quickly snaps the TV off, removing the batteries from the remote.

It's just some electrical glitch he tells himself. And then the power goes out completely.

"Shit," he mutters, using his phone to light the way to locate the real flashlight. It's not in the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink where it's supposed to be left. Carol must have moved it. He checks the garage. Through the windows he can see the neighbors still have power, so he grabs the trusty flashlight and checks the breaker box. After fiddling with it, it won't reset. The flips do absolutely nothing.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, he pinches the bridge of his nose, taking out his phone from his pocket. The battery shows 1% before fizzling out to a black screen with the gray spinning wheel before dying.

"You've got to be shitting me," he grumbles. With another curse, he shoves the useless thing back in his pocket, letting the flashlight guide him out of the garage. He may as well get the keys and go try to find Carol and the girls, who are probably several blocks over by now, maybe get them to stay at her mother's place while he gets things sorted out with the power issue.

And then..

he hears the sound of his name spoken, a sharp. accusatory whisper, as if it's right next to him. It's so real he can feel the cold breath against his ear. It makes him jump out of his skin.

Alert, his body tense and ready for action, his eyes dart around the room as he begins to get his bearings back and his heart goes back to its normal rhythm.

Stupid.. he curses himself, sitting upright again. Annoyance colors his face.

But the sound of it.. of your voice still rings in his ear. And he'd know your voice among a thousand others.

Now he knows he's imagining things, because it couldn't have been your voice at all.

You're dead.

He doesn't want to think about that day, a cold autumn day just like this. In fact it'll be one year exactly on November 14th. The last day you saw sunlight, the last day you ever breathed.

It's not that you were bad, you were just in the way. There was no room for you in Dave's perfect, clock-precision life. He tried to make your end painless, make sure you didn't see it coming.

Some secrets don't stay buried forever..

Nobody knows he assures himself. It's impossible.. He'd even kept it from his teammates, and they knew nearly every damn thing about him.

No, this particular job.. the handling of you, had to be done on his own.

Casting a glance at the backyard patio again, the light from his neighbor's back porch glows eerily, spotlighting the patch of earth Dave had avoided until finally he'd caved and erected a bird bath with a small garden, a surprise for Carol's birthday. His wife never suspected that you were buried there, beneath her gift.

Without thinking, he's already walking outside, gun in one hand, flashlight in the other, leading the way to your grave. He never comes out here anymore. The guilt has become too crushing and he's not a man who dwells on guilt. He does what he has to and revisits the issue if problems arise.

You won't arise, though. When he closes his eyes he can still see the bullet hole in your temple, the blank look as the light left your eyes.

Forgive me, he'd thought, unable to speak it aloud as he stuffed your body in a bag and placed you in the dirt on a moonless autumn night.

When he reaches the stone path that leads to your innocent-looking grave marker, he has to process what he sees:

there's a hole in the ground, where some of the rocks and flowers around the bird bath have been upheaved, and in the breeze his flashlight shines on a tattered, empty black body bag. The scent of death greets his nostrils as he pales, trying not to vomit.

He goes back to the house, immediately on the defensive, irrationally expecting to find you there, clothes dirty and hair caked with mud and blood, a specter of his own paranoia and guilt.

It's still shrouded in darkness, the home that is supposed to be his shelter from such dark things as yourself. It's his domain, his castle, and in this trouble, without his family, he feels like less of a king.

"There's no fucking way," he mutters, stomach roiling with fear and suspicion. He opens the patio door and steps inside.

The whole place smells of death, of the grave.

You're in every corner, quiet, waiting, watching. But not impassive.

He feels you everywhere, himself made small by your ubiquitous pall. The gun in his hand feels useless, and this makes him angry.

You feed off his anger. You love it. It's the only thing you can feel anymore. Pure, unadulterated hate.

You slither towards him, wicked grin growing bigger as you approach him. Dave gets the chills down his back, not knowing just how close you are to him.

"Boo" you whisper lightly, ghostly breath caressing the shell of his ear.

Your cackling thunders in his ears as he whips around, eyes wide with fright. You delight in the fear he's giving off. The scent of it it so intoxicating. It's the only good thing about being dead.

"I should make your death as nice and quick and clean as you made mine" your voice echoes all around the room. Dave looks equal parts pissed and afraid as he tries to track you.

"But I won't."

You've been waiting for this night, this one unholy night where you'd be allowed to come back, to gather the unearthly powers granted to you. Halloween: the one night of the year when the living come back to haunt the dead.

And the son of a bitch had the gall to kill you in November. You had to wait almost a whole year for your revenge.

Gonna make it sweet.

It takes a lot of energy to assume something of a human form, but as you grab onto the fear he's giving off, as you use the most ancient of forces to pull your corporeal parts together, it gets easier. You don't feel afraid. You haven't, not since he killed you.

"Consider yourself lucky it's only you I'm after. If I had my way your family's blood would be splattered on these walls along with yours."

Dave shivers violently. "Please, don't!" He's not used to begging or pleading. He's actually on his knees. He tries not to look at you; your visage is too grotesque. Your flesh is falling off your face and your eyes are sunken into your head, giving a ghoulish appearance.

You force his gaze upon you with the ice-cold touch of your hand. "Your family is safe. For now. Hell, there's always next Halloween."

With the cracking open of his ribcage and the spilling of his guts you reach into him, finding the fullness of the heart, the organ he uses the least.

All Dave can do is scream and scream and scream.

The next day Carol sits at the dining room table, two detectives with her. Her coffee has grown cold, barely touched. She still bears the remnants of the makeup she'd put on to complete her costume last night. The girls are upstairs. She couldn't bear sending them to school, having them apart from her. Not while Dave is missing.

"He was fine last night. Normal," she adds, shrugging as she dabs at her eyes with a Kleenex.

Because of his position as a government agent, his disappearance is being taken very seriously. Officers are en route, dispatched to start searching the area, especially the nearby woods, which Carol has always feared.

Dave's gun is there, his wallet, phone, and keys also left behind.

One of the field officers comes in (there have been many people coming in and out of the house today) and motions to the backyard. "Halloween decoration?"

"Yeah," Carol sniffles, smiling just a little. "Dave likes to shock the neighbors. He promised he'd put them away before the morning.. but he never puts them out back.."

Out of guilt, or maybe just to give herself something to do, she gets up and goes to put the decorations away. The detectives follow.

Funny. There's just one.. she thinks, looking at the lone body bag on the lawn, tossed haphazardly next to her bird bath.

It's heavier than she expects. She's too petite to pick it up. Sighing, she kneels, the crunch of the fallen leaves beneath her knees. She'll just take the leaves out and throw the bag away.

Ripping it open with her nails she's stunned a moment, not processing what she's seeing before she lets out a bloodcurdling scream.

Wrapped up in the duct taped body bag is what's left of Dave.

dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

tagging @almostempty @itwasntimethatdidit40 @milla-frenchy @salingers @zascal

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 60

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words: 6k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Wednesday, February 24; 6:30 PM - Lucy's Apartment

Everything is organized for tonight. No matter how many times I check, there’s not much left to do. I glance over at Joan, who is quietly watching TV on the other side of the room. We had to remove the appetizers to prevent him from snacking on them before our friends arrive in less than an hour.

- "Is it all set?" Lucy asks as she joins me.

I turn to see her perfectly ready in light jeans and a black shirt. She looks gorgeous with her smooth hair and red lips, which are even more attractive that way.

- "It looks like it," I say, moving closer to her.

I let my hands linger at the front of her shirt to fasten one of the buttons that was making her outfit too low-cut. She doesn’t say anything, but her amused expression says a lot about her thoughts.

- "The crepe batter is ready," I say, raising my head slightly to meet her eyes, which are subtly made up with black eyeliner. "Could you check it?"

- "I’ll do it."

Lucy had given me the recipe to make it myself, as I requested. However, given my lack of confidence due to my two left hands, I prefer a second opinion.

- "If it’s good, we just need to plug in the machine. Otherwise, the drinks and ramekins are ready, and the appetizers are prepared," I listed.

- "Looks like we’re good," she smiled, letting her hands rest on my hips.

- "Have you finished with the bathroom? Can I go get ready?"

- "Yes, it’s free now. Is Joan calmed down?"

I smile sadly and shake my head. He wasn’t very well-behaved this afternoon. He was very scatterbrained and excited, to the point of making several messes. Unlike me, Lucy didn’t hesitate to scold him after a while. I admit I found him more irritating than usual, but I expected him to calm down on his own before addressing it. What followed, however, shocked us a lot more. Well, mainly me, to be honest. He dared to answer Lucy back very cheekily. I wasn’t prepared for that, but Lucy reacted quickly. She stopped him from his activity and took him to the couch to calm him down and make him think about what he had just done. From the look my brother gave me when it happened, he expected me to defend him, but I didn’t. He deserved his punishment and needed to be put in his place. Since he arrived, I don’t recognize him. It was as if the shy and kind Joan was far behind.

- "Yeah," I said, glancing in his direction. "Don’t be too hard on him, please. If there’s a problem, come get me."

- "You’re too nice to him. That’s not how he’ll stop."

- "It’s the first time he’s reacted like this."

- "You don’t know that. You haven’t lived in Barcelona for months. For all you know, he’s been like this for a while."

I sighed, looking back at Joan. He had never acted like this before, which is why I’m struggling to punish him. I should have listened to what Sofia and Sam told me. I’ll probably give them a call in the next few days.

- "Hmm, hmm. Well, I’m going to get ready. Don’t forget. Come find me if he causes you any trouble."

- "Promise."

I gave her a quick kiss before heading out with my mind full. Before going to the bathroom, I stopped by the bedroom to find something to wear. Lucy insisted that I empty my suitcase into her wardrobe, where she made space for me. I couldn’t bring myself to refuse such an offer. With a small smile, I grabbed my black dress. When I texted the girls earlier in the group chat we created, they assured me they would be wearing dresses tonight. It was clear that I should wear one too. I hesitated over the shoes but eventually opted for heels from Lucy’s collection. I hope she won’t mind me borrowing them. I was ready to head out in my outfit, but I stopped when I found a very shy Joan behind my door. His eyes were filled with tears that were about to fall. I thought for a moment about Lucy, but I doubt she could have done anything. I finally opened the door wider and stepped aside.

- "Come in," I invited him.

He rushed inside. A discussion is inevitable, so I might as well have it before our friends arrive. I won’t tolerate his behavior for long, and neither will Lucy. She works with troubled teenagers; she knows how to handle him if needed. I’ve been through that myself. My brother looked around timidly, not daring to venture further. It was the first time he’d been in here. We set him up in the room next door. Although he’ll likely sleep with us, we still wanted him to have his own room and choose to come to us on his own without us suggesting it.

- "Is this your new room?"

I frown at him very calm question, contrary to expectations.

- "What are you talking about?"

I approach him as he turns around. My heart tightens seeing the sadness overflowing from his eyes.

- "Jo-"

- "You’re a liar."

- "Hey, you really need to stop speaking like that."

I can’t hold back my harsh tone anymore. Having never heard him talk back before, this is the last straw. He seems to sense my irritation, as he lowers his head and nervously fiddles with his fingers. I finally sigh and decide to take him by the shoulders and sit him on the edge of the bed. I crouch in front of him to be at his level. Still, he doesn’t dare to look at me. I then take his chin to force him to face me. My heart breaks completely when I see the tears streaming down his cheeks.

- "Oh, sweetheart," I whispered. "Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?"

My voice is calm, but it seems to make him feel worse than before. I bite my lip as I stand up.

- "N-no! Don’t leave me."

- "I wasn’t planning to leave. I just need to get some tissues, you see?"

I tell him as I grab the box from the nightstand. I return with a tissue to wipe the mess from his cheeks and give him another to blow his nose, which he does.

- "Well, now can you explain to me? Why did you call me a liar?"

- "I heard mom talking to dad. She said you won’t come back and she was very sad."

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. He must have overheard a conversation he wasn’t supposed to, just like I did at his age. I don’t even understand why my mother spoke about it when nothing is decided yet. Perhaps the words were taken out of context.

- "When did you hear that?"

- "This week. She said you would stay here, with Lucy."

I sigh, suddenly understanding all the reasons behind his behavior up to now. He’s upset with us and showing it in his own way. With what I told him in October, he has reason to feel betrayed. I decide to sit next to him and pull him into a hug. He doesn’t hesitate for a moment, holding me tightly.

- "Is it true?"

I sense a hint of worry in his words. I don’t even know how to respond. No matter what I say, he’s likely to be very disappointed.

- "I’m not going to lie to you, Jo. I don’t know yet if I will come back to live at home," I said honestly, gently stroking his back. "What would you do if the love of your life lived at the other end of the country, far from your family? Would you stay with her or with your family?"

He seems to consider the question before eventually shrugging. He slowly raises his  head toward me.

- "L-Lucy is the love of your life?" he asks with innocence. "I thought you didn’t want to fall in love again? That it hurt too much here."

I smile sadly, shaking my head as he clutches his chest near his heart. Joan is a very intelligent boy with a great memory. When I came home, I took my time to talk, and of course, when I started, Joan wanted to know the reasons for my sadness. Instead of explaining that Feli simply destroyed me, I made him understand through a love story. Looking back now, maybe I shouldn’t have.

- "You’re right," I confirmed. "But not all people are like my ex. Lucy has helped me find my smile again. She gained my trust and helped me feel better. Isn’t that what you wanted?"

"Yes, but I never wanted you to leave. You promised to come back and that everything would be better. Lucy just takes you away from me, and she can be very mean. She was very scary at the supermarket. You told me Feli was scary too. What’s different? How do you know she won’t hurt you as well? »

I didn’t expect him to be so honest in his revelations. I’m starting to understand his sudden hatred for my girlfriend better. It’s clear that’s how he feels, and he was probably expecting me to take his side.

- Lucy will never hurt me. Neither you nor me.

- How do you know? Who says he won’t make you go back to the way you were before?

- She won’t make me go back to that because she’s the one who helped me get out of all that, Jo. I remember everything I told you about Feli, but that doesn’t apply to everyone. Lucy is the complete opposite. I love her, okay?

- R-really? Y-you love her? he murmurs.

- Yes, honey. I love her.

- Even when she’s scary and punishes me?

I laugh softly, shaking my head.

- Even if she’s scary and punishes you. Admit it, you kind of deserved it. I went through her punishments myself, you know. So I know how scary she can be.

- So why do you love her if she scares you?

- I’m not afraid of her, I roll my eyes. She’s adorable with me and has helped me a lot. She’s a wonderful person, and if you’re upset with her right now, it’s because you think she’s keeping me away from you, but that’s not true. If it were, she wouldn’t have even agreed to let you come here this weekend. I’m sorry you overheard what Mom said.

- Are you really planning to stay here...?

- Well... I’m not going to lie to you this time. Yes, it’s quite likely, and I assure you it wasn’t planned. Of course, I’ve fallen in love, but maybe I’ll even continue my studies, you know.

- So... we’ll still be far from each other?

- Of course not... I’ll always be close to you, Joan. We’ll call each other regularly. Every day if necessary. And you can come here as much as you want during your holidays, and we’ll come to Barcelona too. During the holidays, for example, or maybe even on weekends. That won’t change.

He takes a gentle breath, nodding. My words seem to reassure him. His eyes are still slightly red, but his little crisis has passed.

- Promise me you won’t hold it against Lucy. She has nothing to do with this. These are my own decisions.

- I’m glad you love her, Ona. I like her too because she makes you happy. You smile like you used to with her and you even laugh. That wasn’t the case before. And she takes care of you, even when she’s angry.

I smile gently, noticing how closely he’s been observing us. Deep down, he likes her, but it seems like he needed to provoke us to show her displeasure.

- You’re right, I whisper.

- As long as you’re happy, I am too, even if it means being far from me, he replies, prompting me to kiss his forehead.

- Thank you. I promise we’ll see each other regularly. Now... there’s one last thing before I’m completely happy. I don’t want you to be angry with Lucy or take it out on her. I’d prefer that you get along with her for everyone’s sake. What do you think you should do to fix this, hmm?

I raise an eyebrow challengingly, looking him straight in the eyes. He blushes and lowers her head. He seems to understand what I want. I’m certain of it when he speaks.

- I need to apologize to her.

- Yes, that’s exactly it. Do you at least know why?

- I wasn’t nice to her, but I was angry with her.

- Are you still angry now?

He shakes his head frantically, making me smile.

- You love her, so I like her too.

I chuckle softly at his response. I stand up, setting Joan down. He gives me a small shy smile.

- Go find her. I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear what you have to say. I’ll be with you in a few minutes, okay?

- Yes, Onaaa.

She hesitates for a moment but eventually throws himself into my arms for a reconciling hug.

- I love you too, you know.

- Oh, my darling. Of course, I know that. And I love you even more.

- As much as Lucy?

- As much as Lucy, I laugh. Now, let’s meet in a few minutes.

I kiss the top of his head again and smile as I see his rush toward the living room. I’m really glad everything is finally resolved. I hope the next few days will go better now. With all this, I’m later than ever. I hurry into the bathroom with my outfit for the evening. I start putting it on, then, like Lucy, I accentuate my makeup. It might just be a girls’ night, but it’s always nice to look good. When I’m satisfied with the result, I join the girls. I feel a completely new atmosphere in the room. Lucy is pulling out the glasses, and Joan is helping by placing them on the table. Noticing my presence, Lucy looks in my direction with a genuine smile that quickly fades. I lower my head, trying to see if something is wrong, but I don’t find anything.

- Wow. You look beautiful, Ona.

My heart eases from the mini panic attack, and I look up. I blush as Lucy takes the opportunity to come closer.

- Your brother just took the words right out of my mouth.

Her charming smile slightly unsettles me. I’m very happy she supports me with her arm around my waist. I place my hands just below her chest as she pulls me close.

- I didn’t expect this. You look stunning, my love, she whispers against my lips.

My feet falter slightly as she bites my lower lip. She looks between us before looking at me again, her gaze lingering on my slightly plunging neckline.

- And then it’s you who buttons me up? she jokes. Hey, aren’t those my shoes?

- I didn’t have any like these. Does it bother you?

- Of course not. They make your legs look very sexy.

- Thank you...

She kisses me again, much more tenderly, causing Joan to react with a noise of disgust. We both giggle softly, and I end up snuggling into her arms. I love it when she holds me like that.

- Is everything sorted? I whisper.

- Yeah... You’ll explain to me later, right? she asks.

- We’ll talk about it tonight, I reply as the doorbell rings.

- Can I answer? Joan asks, rushing to the intercom.

- Yes, but don’t forget to ask who it is, Lucy warns him before stealing a kiss from me.

I smile as I watch her go to the kitchen to finalize the preparations. I take the opportunity to accompany Joan to the intercom, which he’s already activated.

- Who is it? I ask, earning a shrug from Joan.

- I don’t know. “Ale” something.

I roll my eyes at his indifference. It seems Lucy’s warning didn’t matter much to him. To think he’s not even in his teenage years yet. I started late. Maybe he’ll start early. Despite this scene, I bet he’ll become a perfect little shy one when our friends arrive. He’s never liked strangers, which is quite strange but also very reassuring. At least he’ll never trust just anyone. I take the initiative to slightly open the door, guessing it’s my roommate and her boyfriend, before helping Lucy by bringing the appetizers to the small table in the living room. We manage to finish just as someone knocks on the door.

- Hello, hello... Alexia greets us timidly as she enters.

- Hey, Lucy welcomes them. Come in, she invites.

- Are we the first ones? Alexia asks.

- Is that surprising? I retort.

- Not really, Jenni laughs.

As expected, Joan comes to greet me before allowing me to approach them. Without asking questions, I lift him onto my hip and, following my girlfriend’s example, kiss our guests.

- So, here’s your little brother, Ale comments upon seeing him.

I smile when she tries to touch him, and Joan buries his face in my neck. We’ve seen a lot of each other these past few days, so everyone knew he’d be with us for the weekend.

- Yeah, I reply, patting Joan’s back. Don’t expect a grand welcome; he’s always very shy at first.

- I can see that, she jokes kindly.

- Here, we brought a bottle, Alexia announces, handing it to Lucy.

- Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to. Come, give me your coats and go sit on the couch, she finally invites.

Lucy hands me the bottle while she takes care of our friends’ belongings. I recently discovered that the room next to her bedroom has a desk with a large storage closet where she keeps her jackets. I lead our guests to the couch. Alexia kept her promise by wearing a dress. Jenni, on the other hand, is in jeans and a dark blue shirt. I smile as I notice Alexia looking around. It must be weird for her to be here. At least since last week and since we’ve been together, Lucy seems to finally accept her. After all, she’s in the same situation Jenni was in back then. She’s at least more pleasant and even engages in conversations with her. They found a common interest: sports. Whenever I paid attention, I often heard them talk about football or even gym workouts after Ale asked Lucy for advice.

- So, can I get you a drink? I offer.

Shouldn’t we wait for the others? Alexia asks.

- We might still be waiting a while if we do that, Lucy comments as she returns. Ingrid just sent me a message saying they'll be late.

- Well then... I'll take a glass of champagne if you don't mind, Alexia announces, making us laugh.

- Can you open the bottle?

- Of course.

She opens it while I turn four glasses that were on the small table. I then pour a glass for each of us, and I even think of Joan with a glass of soda. Joan has ended up snuggling up to Lucy. I quickly join them after grabbing my glass.

- So... Did you have a good day? Lucy asks.

- Not too bad, yeah. I showed her our place downtown, Jenni recounts.

- Place? I ask. A place for the gym?

- Yeah. Remember I told you we got the keys. It's downtown. Jenni started working on converting it into a gym.

- Yeah, but it’s still a long way off.

- Will I get to see it too?

- We can go anytime you want... Well, when Jenn finally gives me a key, she giggles.

- I have it in my jacket, she announces. I’ll give it to you later before I forget.

- So, what do you think of the place, Alexia? my girlfriend asks.

- It’s great. You chose it really well. There’s a lot of potential and it’s in a great location.

- Lucy insisted on the location. Being right across from the shopping center was a stroke of luck. It was an opportunity not to miss. We were happy when the loan was approved.

- How long will the work take? I ask.

- I don’t know. Less than a year, I hope. Six months would be nice. I’m doing it alone for now, but it will be better when Lucy is free too.

- Are you going to do the work yourself? I joke.

- Partly, yes, she smiles. It will be after work, and the girls will help me. It’s going to take a while. All summer, for sure. We hope to open around September since Lucy will be unemployed and I’ve also arranged with my boss to leave at the end of August.

- Are you leaving Camp Wiegman? Alexia asks in surprise. Were you aware? she asks me finally.

I nod, glancing at Lucy who smiles at me. I don’t like being reminded of what’s going to happen in a few months. Everything about my future will hinge on that moment. Getting my diploma will be the key to everything. If I fail, I might as well say I’ll destroy everything I’ve built in these past few months. Well, maybe that won’t be the case, but it would really bother me. I’d have to start over with a lot of things and without Lucy’s help at school this time. Lucy places her hand on my thigh, not worrying that my brother is between us.

- By the way, Lucy begins.

I give her a knowing look, fully aware of what she’s about to say.

- Ona will probably continue her studies next year.

I blush at her announcement. I would have preferred to keep that to ourselves. Two days have passed and I still haven’t heard back from my interview. It’s very unsettling not to know. Also, I would have preferred to get a response before mentioning it. At least I would have known where I stood.

- Seriously? Ale reacts. I never would have guessed. You’re not someone who particularly enjoys school, as I remember, she mocks.

- What does that mean? Lucy questions, raising an eyebrow.

- Oh come on, you know I wasn’t the most serious student.

- “Wasn’t,” she repeats. So we agree that it’s no longer the case, hmm?

- Let’s just say that lately, I had other concerns besides school. It was probably the only place where I enjoyed being to clear my head, even if I didn’t like the subjects.

I didn’t mean to bring down the mood, but I couldn’t answer anything other than the truth. Talking about it makes me feel like it’s been ages since those events, even though it’s only been three weeks. Fortunately, the doorbell rings. I have no doubt that the arrival of the girls will lift the mood. Lucy clears her throat as she stands up.

- I’ll get it.

No one dares to say anything because of me. Alexia sends me a small supportive smile that I awkwardly return. Lucy’s absence had put me in a sulk, that’s no secret. After pressing the intercom button and slightly opening the front door, Lucy comes back to us. She has to pass in front of me to return to her seat. She takes the opportunity to gently caress my cheek, sending me a small apologetic smile.

- So, you’ll continue your studies? Alexia prompts again.

- Nothing is certain yet. I had an interview with a gallery and I’m waiting for a response. The owner said that if they take me, I’d have to continue school to improve my art.

- That’s great! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Ale exclaims enthusiastically.

- Well... It was Lucy who organized everything, I giggle. She first told me in front of my mom.

- It wasn’t planned, Lucy intervenes. I already told you I would have preferred to tell you at a time when we were alone, but I had to reassure her, Lucy smiles gently.

- I know and I appreciated your gesture. You defended me from start to finish that day.

- And I always will. You know that.

- Aww, that’s so cute!

Everyone turns to my best friend who has just arrived. I chuckle as I see Lucy roll her eyes. I feel like their teasing isn’t going to stop anytime soon. I smile as Ingrid gives her a tap on the back of the head just after.

- How to make a dramatic entrance, Alexia mocks as she greets her.

- You have to liven things up a bit. It’s not with sappy lines that it will happen, she continues as she now approaches Lucy.

- Is that a jab? Lucy asks. I think someone who arrives fifteen minutes late doesn’t have much to say.

- Oh, come on. It could have been much worse.

She comes to me to give me kisses, lifting my brother who lets out a high-pitched scream of surprise before laughing. I smile at the interaction between them. I’ve always liked that Mapi takes care of him like her own brother. She was there for him a lot when I wasn’t in a position to be. That’s when they became close and it’s always nice to see.

- So you’re here and you didn’t even come to say hello? she feigns indignation.

- I would have preferred to be with you, my brother mumbles.

- Really? she laughs. What did you do to this poor boy for him to say that?

- He just discovered what a punishment is, I shrug. Hi Ingrid, I say as she passes in front of me.

Before sitting back down, I move over to Lucy who has since gotten closer to Ale to make room for the girls on the other side. Mapi comes to my side, keeping Joan on her lap. He’s become very tense and shy in her arms, clearly showing he’s even less comfortable than before.

- Really? You dared to punish such a sweet little thing!? Shame on you!

- Punish is a strong word, Lucy downplays. He just had to stay on the couch for a quarter of an hour.

- He was a bit upset, so he played the brat all day, but everything is fine now, right?

Joan peeked her head out when I started running my hand through his hair. All he needed was my attention. He’s afraid of losing me and I can understand that. He nods, smiling timidly. I extend my arms and he immediately comes to me. I hold him close, kissing his forehead. Lucy looks at me curiously, but I let her know it’s not the right moment. She then turns to the girls, offering them drinks. Not surprisingly, they also choose champagne.

- I hear you’ve planned some food? Mapi asks. I’m starving.

- You really only think about food, don’t you? Ingrid replies. You’re exasperating.

- Well, Ona told me. I have the right to ask.

- We’ve prepared crepes, Joan announces.

- Really? Mapi asks, suddenly very interested.

- Uh-huh, he confirms. Even Ona helped Lucy cook.

- Oh my God, what are you doing to my best friend, Lucy? she chuckles. It’s the first time I hear that Ona cooks.

- Hey! Why does it have to be Lucy? I’ve always wanted to learn how to cook and I’m taking advantage now that I have the chance.

- Well, it wasn’t for nothing that Sam never let you near the kitchen. Not only did you make a mess every time, but you were also very annoying.

- What? That’s nonsense!

- Oh yes, she mocks. You were unbearable, I remember very well. I was glad I wasn’t Sam at that moment, because you really gave him a hard time, she laughs.

- Is she like that with you too, Luce? Alexia jokes.

- Hmm... Not at all, she says, letting her hand linger in my hair. It seems I’ve managed to control you.

- Not at all. I was simply not as she describes, I defend myself. It’s just that Sam didn’t have patience... and trust. Lucy has more faith in me, I assert.

- Well, you’re still not doing anything extraordinary either. There’s a difference between making a dish and preparing a pizza or a batch of crepes, my girlfriend gently mocks.

Hey, you’re supposed to defend me!

- Oh, but I will always defend you, baby. It’s just that you shouldn’t exaggerate things. For now, the idea of leaving you alone in a kitchen to cook something is out of the question, but it will happen one day, I promise. You’ll just need a bit of practice with me first.

I sulk on the couch as our friends laugh. I really thought I had improved these past few days. Lucy approaches to kiss my cheek, but I pull away.

- No, you don’t have the right.

- Oh, come on. You’re not going to sulk, are you? What I meant is that cooking one dish doesn’t make you a cook.

- Wait, has she already cooked for you? Mapi asks in surprise.

- For us, yes, Lucy corrects her. The first weekend she was here. Well, I assisted and guided her a lot, but the bulk was done by her hands and it was very good.

- Are you kidding? Mapi exclaims. She’s never cooked for me when we were together! I should have been the first one for you to cook a dish for!

Lucy’s reaction is memorable. It clearly shows she doesn’t appreciate the comment. I had understood from the start that she didn’t like Mapi. At first, I thought it was because of her influence, but now there’s no doubt it’s jealousy. At the same time, Mapi has never done anything to hide our bond. It’s already very strong, but I understand my best friend tends to accentuate it to push Lucy’s buttons. She often brings up our past in her presence to drive her crazy, and it definitely works. Although she takes it lightly, I think I should make a comment once. I place my hand on Lucy’s to draw her attention. She jolts at the moment but ends up interlocking our fingers and then replies.

- Sorry Mapi, but the first times are no longer yours, she says.

- Oh yeah? You think so? Mapi retorts.

- Totally, Lucy insists. By the way, I’ve already counted quite a few this month.

- I’d like to know what, then. Most of the things she did with me first, Mapi continues. Give an example to see if she didn’t lie to reassure you.

I don’t like the tone with which she challenges Lucy. There’s no hint of joking, just a desire to prove she’s the best. As if it were a game... It’s surprising Ingrid hasn’t reacted yet. I hope it doesn’t escalate. Lucy narrows her eyes, and a wave of panic washes over me. I recall all the times I might have told her she was the first to make sure it was true. However, I find nothing unusual.

- We took a bath together at the hotel last week. Ona told me I was the first with whom she did that.

Her announcement, so natural, creates a general gasp of surprise. Me, first of all. I didn’t expect her to reveal something so intimate about our relationship. She wanted it to have an effect; otherwise, she would have mentioned we were in swimsuits. This leaves room for imagination in our friends' minds, especially in Mapi’s, who has turned pale. I feel mortified, and it must show on my face. It’s really something I’ve never done with anyone else. Just Joan, but he doesn’t really count since it was when I was younger.

- Wow. I don’t think anyone expected that, Ale comments. Is it true?

I wriggle, feeling too watched all of a sudden. Not only is Mapi staring at me, but the others are just curious to see if I’ll confirm. I gently squeeze Lucy’s hand, forcing myself to nod. Mapi blinks before speaking again. I know her response is going to be explosive given the circumstances.

- Are you kidding me? You deprived me of this desire for years! she half-shouts.

And there we go, I suspected it. I feel Lucy relaxing next to me, as if she was only waiting for my best friend to confirm the opposite. However, she couldn’t, because it was the truth.

- I thought it was something you found too intimate to do!?

- Well, Lucy made me comfortable with the idea.

The shock on her face makes me realize the meaning of my words. I blush again, snuggling against my girlfriend. If she’s upset with me for this, I’d understand. I had no excuse to deny her this desire back then. I wasn’t hurt, but it was simply something that didn’t interest me. I didn’t have the need to cuddle against someone in hot water.

- Oh, relax, Lucy finally says to Mapi seeing my state. It was just a bath to relax after a day in the snow. Nothing special happened. We were even in swimsuits.

- Why make a big deal out of it anyway? Ingrid finally speaks up. That kind of thing is no longer your concern. They have the right to do what they want, right?

- You don’t understand. It was supposed to be a moment for me. Now I’ll probably never experience it, she pouts.

- You know, we can easily remedy that, Ingrid comments.

I grimace as she places her possessive hand on her body. Remembering that my little brother is here, I cover his eyes.

- Anyway. There’s a little one here. Let’s change the subject.

- No, no change of subject, Mapi says, detaching her lips from her girlfriend’s. How come I didn’t know you were so... Complicit, intimate... ? Whatever you want to call it, Mapi replies with a reproachful look.

- What? You expect me to call you for every little thing that happens between us? I reply with irony.

- It would have been the least you could do! After all the time I’ve been there for you! I’m the one who wanted you together from the start.

- Don’t be mistaken, baby. Jenni and I were the first. It started almost in the first weeks.

- How so? I ask curiously.

- I forbid you to tell her that, Lucy threatens.

- Lucy only had your name in her mouth when you arrived at Camp Wiegman, Jenni admits with amusement, ignoring her friend’s threats. Never before you had she talked so much about her students.

- At first, we only thought it was because you were the worst student she’d ever had.

- But once your withdrawal happened, it was completely different, Jenni continues. We knew you were becoming important to her. She was too worried to see you as just a student.

- The girls even blamed you for your actions that Lucy told us about, but she always defended you. They ended up calling you "Lucy’s pet," Ingrid mocks.

- It was quite funny looking back, Jenni confirms. We had long hoped she’d fall for someone other than Keira, so we bet on you. It looks like we did well given where you are now.

A small smile appears on my face. I didn’t know she had developed feelings for me so early. At least, it was certainly more attachment due to Keira at first. She told me I was her only case with drug dependency. She was so closed off at school. I never knew how to read her at the beginning. The only thing I noticed was that she worried a lot about me. It’s not like now where she’s much more open. Lucy looks shy all of a sudden, now that I know this. It’s not a big deal, and I’m glad to know it. It reassures me about the feelings she might have for me. She doesn’t have a heart of stone like I thought for so long. Quite the opposite. I kiss her cheek to relax her, and it seems to work.

- I confirm, you were quite a good actress to have hidden all that from me.

My response surprises her at first, but she soon smiles and kisses me back. I had no intention of embarrassing her with this topic. I would have preferred her to tell me herself, especially when I had doubts about her feelings.

- I wasn’t going to show you I cared too much about you either. You would have gotten a big head.

- She would have especially known how to turn it to her advantage. You don’t realize how scared she was of you when she knew she’d done something wrong, comments Ale, making everyone laugh.

- It’s not funny. Lucy was terrifying when she punished me. Do you confirm, Jo?

- Hmm, hmm, he nods, snuggling against me.

- You’re exaggerating, Lucy replies.

- No, I assure you. I knew right away that you’d punish me when I did something wrong. Everyone thought you’d favor me because of our special relationship, but I confirm that’s not the case.

- Well, I wasn’t there to pamper you. You needed to learn the lesson, didn’t you? But if you want to know, you annoyed me so much because I knew you knew it wouldn’t please me, but you did it anyway. I could have done much worse, but I held back every time.

- I confirm, Ale intervenes. She was so much worse with the previous ones. Korbin, for example. I lost count of how many times I saw her in the hallway removing graffiti made by other students. Believe me, it was much worse than running laps.

- Not for Ona, Lucy responds. Although she found cleaning a bathroom annoying, she hated running much more. That’s why I used that punishment a lot. It was effective and less hard for me.

- I don’t believe it. You were really mean, actually.

- Oh, come on, she laughs. I could have done much worse.

- I don’t see what could be worse! It was like that time you cornered me at the top of a climbing wall to get me to confess. That wasn’t cool either!

Lucy bursts into laughter, recalling that moment. Thinking back, we’ve really come a long way to be able to laugh about it together, sitting on a couch. I could listen to her laugh for hours. The evening continues like this, sharing moments we mostly experienced at school. After us, it’s Jenni and Alexia’s turn to share their memories around the crepes and wine we thought to buy. Evenings like this, just between us, are truly the best in my eyes. I could never do without them. I’m simply surrounded by the people I care about the most.

[bqstqnbruin]

Matt Rempe Teacher AU

I have actually written four little teacher au blurbs in less than 24 hours out of sheer boredom but I don't like one of them so here's the third one you get have fun

Teacher AU Series

Warnings: None

WC: 1848

“What are you doing?”

Leighton jumps when she hears his voice, not noticing the door even being opened as she scrambled to turn off her music so she could have a conversation with him. “I’m putting together first day of school gifts for my homeroom.”

Matt scoffs, inviting himself over to her lab tables, shuffling through the things she had scattered on the black table tops. “Why?”

“It’s their last first day of school, I wanted to do something nice for them.” 

“Something nice is a plastic lei, beads, and a wooden letter?”

“A: it’s something small for the first day, it doesn’t have to be that elaborate. B: I spent time painting these their class color and it’s their initials, not just a random letter. And, C: have you seen them on spirit day? They eat this kind of shit up,” Leighton scolds him, trying to push past him to get the bags together. She knew her homeroom students. She knew this was the kind of stuff they loved to get, and she wanted to make their last first day just a little bit more special if she could. Not to mention, it was all in a reasonable budget for having to make fifteen gift bags.

Matt scoffs again, making Leighton’s blood boil. “They’re seniors in high school, not first graders.”

“And what do you do for your homeroom?”

“Nothing. I don’t have to buy their affection the way you apparently do.”

“It’s not buying their affection if they were giving it to me for free to begin with. Now get out and go back to your own classroom, you have your own prep to do before students show up on Monday,” she says, trying as hard as she could to physically shove him out of her classroom, unable to see the smile on his face. 

“Did it already.”

Leighton steps back, throwing Matt off balance. “How?”

Matt shrugs, a smirk on his face. “It’s not that hard. I don’t need things on my walls and Mary already ordered all the supplies we need for this year when we were clearing out the budget last year.” 

“I don’t understand how you don’t decorate your classroom at the beginning of the year.” 

Matt gestures to the posters behind her desk, knowing that they were things for her homeroom from the previous years that she put back up every year. “I hang up students' work new each year. Let them decorate my classroom, not me.” 

“Get out,” Leighton says again, Matt laughing on his way to the door. 

That Monday, Leighton’s seniors loved their gifts, their classmates from Matt’s homeroom coming flying into her classroom to show off their brand new Stanley’s with their names embossed on them. Personal, flashy, and expensive. Not to mention, one of Matt’s girls, Vikki, placing one with the name ‘Ms. Cunningham’ on her desk, just for her. 

As soon as her students left, she took the cup with her down to Matt’s classroom. “What is this?” she asks, bursting into his classroom, thankful that he was alone in his room instead of with a student to see this. 

“It’s called a water bottle. Kind of. I don’t know if it counts as a bottle or a cup, but either way, you drink water from it.”

Leighton groans, turning on her heels before he can say anything else. She put the cup in one of the cabinets in her desk, hoping she could forget about its existence since she couldn’t forget about the person who gave it to her.

She avoided Matt as much as possible, knowing that anything he did would get under her skin and make her irrationally angry, a pit in her stomach whenever she saw him.

Christmas was coming up, Leighton already planning her Christmas gifts for her homeroom. They had gotten together and bought her a Ranger’s jersey with the name her favorite player from her childhood on the back for her birthday (apparently getting a bunch of anonymous students in on the gift to get around the ‘teachers can’t accept gifts of more than $25 from their students’ rule in the handbook), so she had to do something for Christmas.

She found someone on Etsy who made personalized necklaces for not much money, letting her put their names, their school name, and their graduation on charms for them. She stayed a little later before their last day of the calendar year to wrap their gifts for them, enjoying the peace she had in her room with the lights slightly dim, the sun already set, and Christmas music playing over her speakers.

“Now what are you doing?” Matt asks, his coat and hat already on, his keys in hand. Good, he had to be leaving soon. 

“Wrapping my homeroom’s Christmas gifts. And you look like you were leaving, so you should do that.” 

“Let me help,” he says, putting his bag down and taking off his hat. “It’s already after five, the faster this gets done, the faster you can go home and plan my demise or something.”

Leighton tries to hide the smile she wanted to mirror back to him. “That would imply that I think about you outside of work.” 

Matt shrugs, taking the necklace for Leah and wrapping it with more care than she had been. “I think about you outside work.”

Leighton rips the wrapping paper, clearly caught off guard. “What?”

“Yeah, wondering why you do this type of stuff.” 

Leighton swallows. “A couple of my girls' parents don’t have a ton of money. They can’t really afford to get them all the nice gifts that some of the other girls get. At least this way, I know they get something, and I know that it’s something that’s just as nice as the other girls get. I was that kid who would watch their friends opening these amazing presents, knowing that I would never get anything that nice until I could afford it myself.”

“So you buy yourself nice things now?”

Leighton laughs. “No. I spend pretty much all my extra money on stuff for the girls. Especially since it’s their senior year, it’s my last chance with this group to show them that there are people out there who are willing to do nice things for them.”

“What do the parents think?” 

“Most of them don’t care. But the ones that don’t have the money told me they like that there’s someone who can surprise their girls. They do what they can, but they can’t do everything, you know?”

Matt nods, giving her a soft smile. 

The next morning, her homeroom girls, again, loved their Christmas gifts, only to be interrupted, again, by Matt’s girls rushing in. Soph showed Leighton that Mr. Rempe had picked up every girl their Starbucks or Dunkin orders that morning, along with a Christmas ornament that had their name, the school name, and their graduation year on it, shockingly similar to the necklaces from her. Katherine hands her the same; her coffee from Dunkin and an ornament with Ms. Cunningham and the year she started teaching there on it.

Her students leave, and again, she storms down to Matt’s classroom, the Dunkin and ornament in hand.

“What is the matter with you?”

Matt turns to the student sitting at one of the tables, making up a test. “Jessie, I’ll be right back,” he says, grabbing Leighton’s wrist and dragging her into the prep room connected to his classroom, sending a shiver down her spine that she decided to ignore. “That’s an interesting way to say thank you to someone who got you a Christmas gift after telling them you didn’t have anyone who bought you nice things.”

“You keep one-upping my gifts to my girls,” she points out. “You’re doing the exact thing I watched when I was a kid with my friends getting better stuff.” 

Matt holds his hand up as if he were surrendering. “I like to get my students things I know they’ll like, just like you do.” 

“You are an insufferable walnut,” she lets out, not sure what else she could really say knowing there was a student within earshot of them. “Do not come into my classroom unless you’re told to, please. I am begging you.”

She leaves again before he could say anything, throwing the Dunkin in his trash can so he could see she didn’t take it with her. She sits down in her chair and lets out a long sigh, opening the cabinet to throw the ornament in with the cup from the beginning of the year. 

The rest of the year passed without much fanfare, Matt doing what he promised and leaving her alone. The last day of school and, therefore, graduation, was coming up quickly for the girls she had come to know so well over the last four years. She bought them custom wall art for their dorms next year that had their college colors on it. It was easily the most expensive and most difficult thing to get them, but it was the last thing she would get for them, it had to be special. 

“Are you ok?”

Leighton nearly jumped out of her seat at her desk, dropping the pen she had been using to write a letter to Katie, one of the last letters for her girls she would write. “You’re like the mold on my ceiling that keeps growing back.”

Matt looks up above her, a horrified look on his face. “You have mold?”

“Why are you here?”

“I was heading out and I saw you were crying.”

Leighton holds her hand up to her face, the tears on her cheeks long unnoticed. It was easy to get emotional writing about her girls; she watched them grow from scared freshmen into the women they were today, ready to set out into the world and hopefully change it for the better. “I’m gonna miss this group.” 

Matt nods, walking over to her desk, kneeling down in front of her and placing his hand on her knee. “They’re gonna miss you, too.”

Leighton laughs. “Do you remember your homeroom teacher from high school?”

“No, but I remember the ones who cared about me and my classmates.” The two of them sit there for a moment, Matt getting up off the ground. “Why did you never answer my questions?”

Leighton looks at him, clearly confused. “I have answered every question you asked me. All the annoying ones, too.”

Matt laughs, shaking his head. “No, the ones I asked you with the gifts.” She gets the gifts out of her desk, where they had been sitting all year. Matt takes the Stanley, opening the cup to reveal a note stuffed inside. He unravels what she thought was ribbon tied to the ornament that was another note. “I’ve been asking you to dinner all year,and you never said anything.”

“I ignored these gifts all year,” she says, bluntly. “I didn’t know you wanted to get dinner.”

“I would like more than just dinner, but I’ll settle for anything.”

[menfenced]

I've seen a lot of posts in the last 24 hours about why Kamala lost and I feel like most of them are failing to actually look at reasons voters are giving. Instead, they're putting forward what they personally didn't like about Kamala's campaign. But here's the thing to remember... You didn't like that thing about Kamala's campaign. You still voted for her. There's something else going on.

Because people didn't just vote against Kamala. They voted FOR Trump, and early polling results are showing they did it across the board in almost every demographic.

I've seen the calls for investigations into voter fraud and voter suppression because "this doesn't just happen!" and I agree with one thing. This doesn't "just" happen. There's a reason and democrats aren't listening. Because it's not just a handful of counties that got hacked or had crazy people trying to stop votes or didn't get all of their ballots counted. That's not to say that none of that stuff happened, of course. There may have been serious issues in some counties. But across the board, in nearly every state and every county, even if he didn't outright win, Trump made gains. The only two states where he didn't make gains: Washington State and Utah.

If that's due to voter fraud or hacked elections, it would have to be on a scale unlike anything we have ever seen before and honestly, we don't have any evidence of that right now.

So what happened? What do we know?

We know that since the pandemic and since the record inflation that caused, incumbent leaders all over the world have been losing elections at higher rates than usual. That crosses all political persuasions and again, has been seen across the globe.

Based on polling prior to the election, which remained fairly consistent throughout the election run, 3/4 US voters think the country is on the wrong track and 2/3 are unhappy with the economy.

Biden's approval rating when this election started was 40-41%

This is all a recipe for an incumbent losing, which to be frank, most people still saw Kamala as, even though she was running instead of Biden.

In addition to all of that, let's look at what the exit polls showed.

Kamala's approval rating in the exit polls was 48.5%

Donald Trump's approval ratings in the exit polls was 44.54%

And I know he wasn't running, but just for context Biden's approval ratings were 40%

When asked if Harris's views were too extreme, 46% said yes, 51% said no.

When asked if Trump's views were too extreme, 55% said yes, 43% said no.

So how did he win?

People like him less and think he's more extreme. Why did they vote for him?

Well, let's look at some other polling data.

45% of voters said that their family's personal financial situation was worse off than it was four years ago.

Only 25% said their financial situation was better than it was 4 years ago.

75% of people polled said that in the last year, inflation has caused them either severe or moderate hardship.

When asked who can bring needed change, 73% of voters said Trump and only 25% said Harris.

What that means is that a majority of American's don't like Trump. They don't think he's a good person. They think he's too extreme. And yet they still voted for him because the issue that was most important in this election was the economy.

Will Trump be better for the economy?

No.

But there's a perception that the current administration did not do everything they could have to fix it and people were willing to roll the dice on someone different.

Maybe we could have done more. Kamala only had 110 days to make her case and no matter what she said, the fact remained that she is the sitting VP. Maybe there was no way for her to escape the incumbent/status quo perception.

I hope we can learn something from the behavior of the American electorate this year, and I really hope Trump doesn't fuck things up too bad before we get another chance to step in, because the Republican Party is learning things too. They're learning that they can be as extreme as they want, but if they can make people believe the economy will work better under their leadership, even if it's not true, they'll still get votes.

[luvhughes43]

tornado warning | nico hischier x reader

summary: every summer nico comes back home to Switzerland and resumes his fling with yn even though she knows it’s not good for her.

lyrics: "don't understand how quickly we get right back in our rhythm without missing a step, and logically the last thing i should have on my mind but i want you there sometimes"

"i guess maybe thats why im lying to my therapist, i keep saying things like "i never saw him and we never kissed"

word count: 1.1k

you and nico were kind of a thing before he moved to the us for hockey. it was the average high school relationship, hand holding and late night talks on the phone. it was never supposed to be how it is now. you weren’t together, but every time off-season hit, Nico was back in Switzerland and you were suddenly calling out for him and he was there, every single time. 

Don't understand how quickly we get

Right back in our rhythm without missing a step

And logically, the last thing I should have on my mind

But I want you there sometimes

he had just gotten back in the country less than 24 hours ago, and your mind was already reeling with how quick everything was already going. he was in your bed shirtless, arms slung around your waist as soft music played in the background. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest against your side, and you could feel his soft hair against your fingertips as you let them brush across his scalp.

“Ni?” you whispered, unsure if he had already fallen asleep.

“Yes?” he replied groggily, not bothering to move so he could look up at you.

you debated on asking him what the two of you were, what you were even doing. you knew that when he inevitably left you again at the end of the summer you would be a wreck, and despite yours, your friends, and your therapists advice, you couldn’t quit Nico. 

I guess maybe that's why 

I'm lying to my therapist

I keep saying things like 

"I never saw him and we never kissed"

your lovely therapist knew all about your relationship with Nico. It was a topic that came up regularly during your hour-long sessions. 

“I just don’t know what i’m going to do about this, like… we always fall back into how things were, and i just don’t know if i can do it anymore,” you went over your dilemma for what seemed like the hundredth time. your therapist nodded her head slowly as she listened to you once again reiterate your issues. 

she set her pen down against her notepad before looking into your eyes, “be honest, have you seen him since he came back?” she questioned and you tried to still your fidgeting. 

“No, i never saw him. I’ve just heard from friends who’ve seen him around,” you lied smoothly, shifting a little on the couch you were sitting on. If your therapist knew you had kissed him too… multiple times… you knew what she’d say. she wants you to move on but how can you when Nicos at your doorstep and is asking for you? you just can’t seem able to get over him.

I think he's onto me every time I say

"I'm over that son of a bitch"

“I am so over him,” you slur to your friends who all give each other side glances. you’ve been telling them the same thing for years, and it seemed like Nico had a sixth sense when it came to you trying to get over him. Every time you declared you were over him, he was calling or doing something to pull you right back in.

“yn honey, why don’t you-” your friend started but you eagerly cut her off.

“no like seriously this time, how dare he come back to me! like he thinks he can just come back into my life every damn time!” you practically shouted, getting up off the couch to really make your point clear. You pointed in the directions of each of your friends and continued, “next time he calls, guys i swear just take my phone and block him because i am never, and i mean never! talking to him again!” you slurred your words and your friends just nodded at your new attempt to rid yourself of Nico.

not even a minute later he was calling your phone, your ringtone blaring through the material of your jeans as you urgently fished it out. “yn who is it?” one of your friends asked as she moved to stand next to you. 

a goofy smile took over your face once you saw Nicos contact. The rest of your friends didn't even need to peek at your phone to know who was calling. “i’m just going to answer it,” you giggled a bit, pulling away from your small group of friends.

“yn no! you just said you were never going to talk to him again!” your friend jumped off the couch and rushed over to you, trying to grab your phone out of your hand before you accepted the call. 

she was too late. you shielded your phone from her and quickly accepted, smiling into the phone once you heard Nicos voice on the other end of the call.

“Ni!” you giggled into the call, all of your previous sentiments ignored the second you heard his voice asking for you to come over. all of your friends watched you walk out the door and into his car, all of them groaning when you two drove off.

I'll drive you home

You drive me crazy

But that's not gonna stop me

I'll call you out

You call me "baby"

it was nico’s last night in switzerland before he was catching a flight back to jersey. you were driving him home after a late night at your apartment, not having the urge to turn him away when he called saying he wanted to properly tell you goodbye.

“you drive me crazy, Ni” you sighed, watching him unbuckle himself out of your passenger side. 

“what are you talking about baby?” he asked, seemingly unaware of the effect his words had on you. 

“I’m not your baby” you admitted softly, turning around so you can face him full on. his brow furrowed at your words. you desperately wanted to say something to him, bring up your feelings or how conflicted you were about this whole relationship-that-wasn’t. but you guys were never the ones to sit and chat about all your feelings, so you let it all go. 

“I’m sorry, i think i’m just tired” you tried laughing it off but it sounded a little strained. 

“well we had a busy night,” Nico laughed as you felt your face heat up, turning around so he could face you properly too.

you smiled at him, painfully aware that this was the last time you’d be seeing him in months. you felt the lump grow in your throat, and you painfully swallowed it back as Nico reached for the door handle. 

Nico opened the door. he halfway outside before he seemingly realized something and leaned back inside, kissing you softly on the lips over the middle of your console. 

he pulled away too soon, and then you sat watching him walk away. The lump in your throat getting more painful with every step he took. you had no idea how you were going to get him out of your mind this time.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Simply The Best

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: 😘💕

Synopsis: You're nominated with many BET awards alongside your husband this year and although he wasn't able to go with you, he is always going to let you know how proud he is of you and how you're simply the best in his eyes

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: a beautiful anon 😘💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Today was a day that you would look forward to every year since you were younger and now that you were one of the artists nominated, it wasn't any different. You were currently in L.A. for the BET awards and you had been nominated in a few categories which you were surprised by seeing as you had mostly done features after the triplets were born. 

You were simply laying down taking everything in when your phone went off alerting you to a text from your husband who was currently on his way to Paris. Once the award show was over, you would be on the next flight to meet up with him for fashion week. The triplets were currently at home with your parents and you honestly couldn't wait to get back home to them.

Smush- Good morning baby. So incredibly proud of you, but you already knew that. Kick ass today and show them why we call you the queen of the south. I love you till the end of time and even after that.

You- Good morning hubby. Thank you and I love you more. I miss you 😔 

Smush- I miss you too and there's less than 24 hours until I get to hold you.

You- Don't make me cry 🥺

Smush- No need to cry and I have a surprise for you later 👀

You- 👀

Smush- You'll know when you see it

You had asked Blanca and Jessica to come with you along with Brandi and Julissa. You would have asked Curse to come along too but she was already in Paris with Urban so you would be able to see her tomorrow.

After checking in with your mom and making sure the triplets were good, you were interrupted by a knock on your door. Once you opened it, you were met with Brandi smiling at you and being bright eyed and bushy tailed while you were still trying to get yourself together. 

"Morning boo." She said while pushing past you to come into your suite and lay on the couch.

"Morning." You quietly said while thinking about what you were going to order for breakfast or if you wanted to get everyone together to go out to eat.

"Today's the day. Are you excited?"

"As always, I just miss Jack and my babies." And as soon as you said that there was a facetime call coming through your phone from your mom and you quickly answered.

The first person you saw on the screen was Axel and you could hear your mom in the background.

"Ax! I told you to wait for me and not to push the button yet while I get your sisters!"

"But I wanna see mommy. Hi, mommy!"

"Good morning my baby! I miss you!"

"I miss you too."

"I'll be back in about another week or so."

Just then you saw your two girls sit next to Ax and got an even bigger smile on your face. One thing you always held in the back of your mind was how proud of yourself you were to be able to give birth to all three of them at one time.

"Mommy!" They both exclaimed as you saw your mom come up behind them.

"Are you three on your best behavior and not giving grandma a hard time?"

"She let us have cake for breakfast." Autumn said and your eyes went wide. 

"MOM!"

"See, Autumn! I told you to keep quiet and that it was our secret!"

"Oops." 

"Hold on, let me add daddy. Hopefully he's not too busy and answers." You said and Ivy looked at you confused.

"He never too busy for us, mama. He tells us that all the time." She said which made you smile and nod your head.

It didn't ring for long before he answered and the triplets just about screamed at the top of their lungs when they saw him.

"DADDY!"

"Are those my adorable babies and beautiful wife along with my second mother?"

"Yes!"

"You and mama gone too long." Axel said and started to pout while you could tell that it had made Jack upset but he tried not to let it show.

"And we'll be back before you know it." He quickly answered and Autumn nodded in approval while Axel sighed and Ivy became more interested in her shoelaces.

Even though this was the life you had chosen right alongside your husband, you had been reflecting on it a lot and you knew that you didn’t want to miss out on anything with them especially while they were still so young. You loved writing songs and making music, however, you loved your babies more and would always be thinking about them and putting them first. You hadn’t brought it back up to Jack yet, but you didn’t see yourself making music forever. Your feelings might change in the next few years, but right now that was where your head was at. 

“And we’ll have an ice cream date and movie night in the backyard. As long as you three stay on your best behavior.” You said while eyeing them. 

“Ohh, and it’s my turn to pick!”

“Nuh uh, you picked last time!”

“Did not! Ivy picked!”

“OKAY! Cut it out. And mom, no more cake for breakfast for them.”

“MOM, YOU GAVE THEM CAKE?” Jack exclaimed because he knew that they would be bouncing off the walls for the rest of the day. You knew that he was probably getting flashbacks from the one time they stole Urban’s slurpee from 711 and drank the entire thing in three minutes. 

“A little cake never hurts! I gave it to Y/N sometimes and she turned out just fine.” Your mom answered before you rolled your eyes. 

“Not the point, mom. Not the point.”

“Anyway, me and the babies have a full day ahead of us. Don’t worry about them. You two just do what you do best and I’ll make sure they stay in one piece. Babies say bye to mommy and daddy.” Your mom said and you could feel your eyes start to water. You already had bad separation anxiety from Jack, but now that you had three more people who were half of you and half of him, it was ten times worse. 

“Bye mommy and daddy! We hope you win tonight. Grandma said we can’t watch the whole thing.” Axel said while trying to balance the phone in his hand. 

“What does being too grown mean?” Ivy asked and you and Jack stifled a laugh.

“It means that you can watch it when you’re older. But if mommy wins, which we all know she will, Grandma will let you watch her acceptance speech.” Jack said and Ivy being satisfied with that answer nodded her head.

“Bye mommy and daddy. I love you. Now, onto more important things. Grandma, can I have more cake? With ice cream this time?” Autumn asked and you immediately shook your head. 

“Autumn! No!” Both you and Jack said at the same time, but she looked at your mom for approval instead. 

“How about we get lunch first at least?” She answered and you both shook your heads.

“We like staying with you grandma. You feed us the good stuff. Mommy and daddy make us eat veggies and fruit.” Ivy confessed and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“Don’t worry, the three of you will later.”

All three of them then got a pout on their face while you and Jack tried not to laugh.

“Bye, babies, we love you.” You and Jack said because you know they can’t stay still for long.

“Love you too!” 

Your mom hung up leaving only the two of you and all Jack was doing was staring at you and smiling. 

“What?” You asked somewhat, shying away from him.

“Nothing, my wife is just really pretty.”

“Oh my gosh, stop. I literally cannot wait to see you.” You said as Brandi now started to poke your side and mouthed that she was hungry.

“Me either!” You heard a voice in the background exclaim and knew that it was Urban.

“Love you too, Urby.”

“Please hurry up and get here. You know how your husband is. Oh, and good luck tonight but you don’t even need it. My best friend is the shit.”

“I just wish the two of you were here with me.”

“Less than 24 hours, mamas. But in the meantime, you got this. Send me a pic of your outfit later and you know I’ll be watching your performance.”

Just then you heard,”RIP ME OUT THE PLASTIC, I BEEN ACTIN’ BRAND NEW!” and Jack moved the phone so you could see Curse dancing with her headphones on not having a care in the world and immediately laughed.

“As you can see we all miss you.” Jack said as you then saw Urban go up behind her and started dancing with her. 

“Miss yall too, and I promise to send you pictures.”

“Remember what I said earlier, show them why we call you the queen of the south. Your surprise is waiting for you there later and you have another one waiting for you when you get here.”

You had now finished getting ready and it was time for you to walk the red carpet. You hated doing them by yourself, so Jessica and Blanca volunteered to walk it with you and they would be sitting by you throughout the entire show. 

“No reason to be nervous, you’ve done this a million times.” Brandi said while taking both of your hands in hers and motioning for you to take a deep breath.

“Yes, but this is my first one after they’ve been born and I just… I don’t know. My anxiety is getting to me again.”

“We’ll be with you the entire time.” Blanca said as you simply nodded your head seeing as both of them would be a part of your performance when you did Put It On The Floor. 

“Jack just sent me a text and told me that the bad chips and hot decisions crew needs to be on their best behavior tonight and that we need to get you to see him in Paris after we’re done in one piece.” Jessica said and you immediately rolled your eyes.

“He would say something like that.”

“I can’t with that man.” Brandi said and the four of you laughed. Julissa came over to make sure not a hair was out of place before you began to walk down the carpet.

You ended up taking a few pictures by yourself, but sent the ones that you took in the hotel to Jack and he immediately responded.

Smush- How many babies do you want me to put in you when I see you tomorrow? Lol but on a serious note, you look so beautiful, baby. So proud to call you my wife.

You- Julissa is going to kill you for making me cry and messing up my make-up

Smush- Just calling it like I see it. Go out there and do what you do best (besides giving me head and making me get bricked up with the slightest touch). I’ll be watching.

You- I literally CANNOT WITH YOU. I’ll call you as soon as I’m on the plane.

Smush-I love you

You- And I love you more

Smush- Don’t start because no you don’t

You- This shall continue when I touch down in Paris

As you were backstage getting ready for your performance, Jessica held one hand as Blanca held the other as you were trying to steady your breathing.

“Come on queen of the south, let’s get it. But most importantly remember to have fun.” Julissa said while winking at you and fixing a few stray curls. You simply nodded at her while smiling and fixing your wedding ring.

You as well as your dancers got in position and you were simply waiting for your cue.

You heard DJ Von’s voice and it was showtime. 

“I’d like to welcome yall to the Big Latto show, who we also know as Y/N, the first lady of private garden. She’s about to show yall why we call her the queen of the south.  I need a clean up on aisle 7.”

When your performance was over, you headed back to your seat and was fumbling with your shoe trying to snap it back when you heard the category that you were nominated in being announced. 

“And the nominees for the best female hip-hop artists are Cardi B, Glorilla, Latto, Ice Spice, Megan Thee Stallion, Nicki Minaj, and Coi Leray. And the winner is….. BIG LATTO! THE QUEEN OF THE SOUTH!”

Your mouth was hanging wide open as you heard your name and turned to both Blanca and Jessica making sure you heard it right. Your shoe still wasn’t all the way on, so you made your way to the stage carrying it in one hand.

“Oh lord, I got one shoe on and one shoe off. Don’t mind me though. Anyway, this cannot… this cannot be real. Okay, I’m not going to cry this year, no crying.”

After you had finished your acceptance speech, they told you that they had a surprise for you and to turn around.

Once you did, you saw Jack’s face pop up on the screen and of course your eyes started to water.

“What did I tell you, baby? I knew that you were going to win. So this is part one of your surprise while the other part is awaiting you in Paris. Just wanted to tell you how very proud I am of you and that you deserve every opportunity that has come your way in the last few years. You’re simply the best at what you do and it shows. You put your all into everything you touch and you have a sweet and calming spirit that goes right along with it.  Not only are you an amazing performer, but now we can also add best female hip-hop artist to that list. My baby girl is the absolute shit. With all that being said, I love you and can’t wait until you get here.”

You had been dabbing at your face trying not to mess up your make-up when you saw that Urban came up behind Jack and had a plastic bag on his head and you know that it could only mean one thing. Put It On The Floor began playing in the background as Curse came up behind Urban and ripped the bag off as all three of them continued to rap along to the song.

“WE LOVE YOU!” All three of them said and you heard erupts of applause and laughter from the audience. 

“Damn yall, my man fine as shit and he loves me. When I see him in Paris, we just might have to make baby number four.” You said while wiping your tears and you could hear the laughter get louder.

“Thank yall, BET. And it’s only up from here. Private Garden is here to stay.” 

Once the show was over, you immediately went back to your hotel in order to pack and quickly get on your flight to meet Jack in Paris. 

You were leaving by 10 in order to be there by 9 in the morning and knew that you would be asleep for the majority of it. You double checked to make sure you had everything before meeting Brandi downstairs since her and Julissa would be going with you. 

They were in on your second surprise and Jack told them to keep you occupied while he set everything up for you. Once you were comfortably settled on the plane you sent him a text.

You- On my way to come and see you and I absolutely loved my surprise 🥰

Smush- Can't wait until you get here and I figured you would. Part 2 is coming.  I know I keep saying it, but I am just so proud of you. My wife is simply the best at what she does.

You- And I'm proud of you, and us and the life that we created for them.

Smush- Thank you for giving us another chance

You- You know I wouldn't have it any other way

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, softtcurse, generationnow, privategarden, quiiso, saweetie, jessicakelce, and 4,291,068 others

y/ninsta: Your favorite rappers favorite rapper 💕

jackharlow: my wife fucking all yall up 😍 theestallion: okay BAWDYYYY saweetie: well deserved! my bestie is definitely my favorite lol

jessicakelce: let me put a baby in you next jackharlow: jessicakelce not you too smh traviskelce: JESSICA! jessicakelce: traviskelce 👀 urbanwyatt: they grow up so fast. I'm so proud of you 😭 dualipa: jessicakelce me first jackharlow: dualipa just when I thought my ass was safe and here you come dualipa: jackharlow missed you too big head privategarden: all hail our first lady and queen of the south! jackharlow: um baby, were you serious about making baby number 4 when you get to Paris? Because...... 👀👀👀👀 y/ninsta: jackharlow possibly urbanwyatt: oh goodness jackharlow: you ain't said nothin but a word

Liked by jackharlow, blancathebaddie, dojacat, dualipa, urbanwyatt, 2forwoyne, shloob_, BET, theshaderoom, and 6,293,917 others

jackharlow: come see about your man so you can come and get this work lol but on a serious note, I have literally told you this 20 million times today, but I'm going to say it again. I am so proud of you and all that you have accomplished in the last few years and I can't wait to see what the future holds for you. All hail the first lady of private garden and the queen of the south 🥺💕

y/ninsta: BABY, I TOLD YOU JULISSA IS GOING TO KILL YOU FOR MESSING UP MY MAKE-UP AND MAKING ME CRY y/ninsta: but anyway, thank you and you know I love you with every fiber of my being and I will never get tired of telling you that and how much you mean to me 2forwoyne: very well deserved! quiiso: and to think she originally only wanted to write, now look! saweetie: she could only keep that talent hidden for so long! so happy I get to witness this in real time. when we met right after you moved back to Atlanta with Jack, we instantly clicked. I've seen you get married for a second time, I've been with you to witness the birth of my beautiful nieces and nephew, break records and do what you love, all while keeping yourself grounded and being authentically you. okay this is getting long lol y/ninsta just wanted to tell you how much I love you and I will be here for you in your corner for eternity cheering you on jackharlow: saweetie DIAMONTE! MAKE YOUR OWN POST! GOT DAMN. YOU TRYNA OUTDO ME! saweetie: jackharlow you are such a hater. that's why claybornharlow is going to steal y/ninsta from you y/ninsta: omg saweetie I love you BAD! my bestie for life! I adore you and thank you for being the most amazing godmother jackharlow: saweetie WHAT? imma kick your ass right along with his claybornharlow: jackharlow hi jackharlow: claybornharlow no. urbanwyatt: umm y/ninsta last time I checked you had two best friends 🙄 y/ninsta: urbanwyatt yes Urby and you know without it being said how much I love and appreciate you urbanwyatt: y/ninsta I appreciate you too since you had Ax for me y/ninsta: bye Urby smh claybornharlow: y/ninsta so proud of you! and I can't wait for you to hear a few things I've been working on for you y/ninsta: claybornharlow aww little baby! I miss you and can't wait for it! jackharlow: claybornharlow go ahead and say it claybornharlow: jackharlow say what? jackharlow: clay stop playing with me claybornharlow: jackharlow when she gets tired of you, she knows where to find me dualipa: jackharlow and me softtcurse: jackharlow me too jessicakelce: jackharlow and of course me jackharlow: I don't even have the energy anymore smh but that's funny because she just married me for the second time, so good luck with that

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[cal-daisies-and-briars]

YESS I LOVE WHEN YOU DO THIS!!!

🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿 🌿

🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

✉️✉️✉️✉️✉️

Thank you I’m so excited!!

THANK YOU! I love doing this.

Here are 21 new sentences for 🌿:

( @goldenbcnes )

---

Eddie doesn’t say a word about what’s happened with Buck and Maddie when he gets to work. 

He’s still at the 118; he’s Hen’s lead paramedic these days. Chim has long since moved to a teaching position at the Fire Academy. So, from the 118 team of old, only Eddie, Hen, and Ravi remain. Given how closer and interwoven their lives still are, Hen might very well already know from Chim about Buck and Maddie’s argument, might already have her own opinions. It’s not for Eddie to bring it up. 

Besides, Eddie feels off about the whole thing. He feels like Buck and Maddie have stepped directly into some sort of trap. No one was fighting before their parents came. No one had any tension. Eddie has seen firsthand Margaret Buckley’s vitriol. Maybe he’s being ridiculous, given that she’s sick. Maybe it’s Eddie’s own history of quiet mental chess with his own parents bubbling to the surface. But they’re in town for two days with an agenda of accessing care from their estranged children, and already, they’ve divided and conquered. 

Eddie is unsure how to approach this train of thought. He has decided to take time to think it through. He doesn’t want to make things worse for Buck or Nico. Or Maddie, Chim, and Jee.

Which is why it turns out to be a stroke of good fortune when Chim shows up at the station between calls. 

He does this sometimes. So does Bobby.

---

24 for 🩸:

---

If this is what Eddie is dealing with, then Buck will become the fucking expert. 

He’s been home from the hospital for about twelve hours. He’s feeling disgusting - caged and unlike himself - but mostly fine. The blood loss related lethargy is fading, replaced simply by emotional lethargy. The wounds on his neck are healing faster than he might have expected. It hardly even hurts anymore. It’s just a scab overtop lightly bruised skin. The doctors said there will probably be two small puncture mark scars. Buck might be glad for them, for the proof that Eddie isn’t really gone, if he doesn’t suspect they will give people a reason to look at him twice. 

Tommy brought him home, to the loft. It reminds him of when Ali brought him back after his leg was crushed. Though he’s far less dependent on Tommy for help than he was on her, then. He’s in far less pain. But he feels just as singular minded now as he had then. Then, the target was getting back to work. 

It’s a little different now.

Tommy hasn’t left and Buck wishes he would. Not because he’s done anything particularly wrong, but because he can’t trust him with this. He can’t trust anyone with this, not yet. But he needs to process that all the same, so he needs to be alone. 

Unfortunately, he doesn’t go about it the best way. 

“What do you want for lunch?” Tommy asks, while Buck is planted in front of the TV, watching ongoing news coverage. “I can order us something.”

---

And 15 for ✉️:

---

Dear Chris,

Do you like the sea turtle stamp? I know you do. Anyway, I had to send you this one today, because we had a call at the museum! Isn’t that cool? Okay, well not cool for the guy who got impaled when a mammoth display fell over, but in general, cool.

He’s okay! Remains to be seen for the mammoth. But, that means, I got to TOUCH the mammoth skeleton. With gloves. And very carefully. And only when Hen and Chim said I could. But still. Your dad got to lift up the tusk! It looked kind of badass, I won’t lie.

Bet you’re jealous! We can go when you’re back and I’ll show you what bones I got to touch.

---

[dbnightingale24]

A Dream Worth Chasing

Part two to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’

~~

~~

Okay, so I’m fucking annoyed because I just spent an hour editing all of this, just so Tumblr could fuck me over. ANYWAY, this is part two to ‘You’ve Always Been My Dream’. Thank you @fuckingbye​ for making such an amazing mood board, but also being an amazing wedding planner, and an amazing friend. I love you so much. Thank you all so much for your patience, there's so much going on right now. Okay, I hope you all enjoy it!!

Word Count: 35,640 (be proud of me please)

Warnings: SMUT (so much), MINORS DNI, Angst, Swearing, Age kink, Family drama, lying, drinking, FLUFF, Arguing, Drinking, Oral (m/ receiving) (f/ receiving), Degrade kink, Daddy kink, Unprotected sex (reader is on birth control but it’s nit mentioned), Anxiety, Lying, Cheating (I guess), and more shit I’m sure I forgot

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone

Summary: You and Andy just can’t quit one another, so you’re both done trying. However, your new found love means that you now have friction with your best friend. How the hell are you two supposed to tell Jacob that you’re in love with one another?

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

Part 1

~~

“Why didn’t you answer me?” Laurie asks as she makes her into the bedroom.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I was sleeping,” Andy scoffs and you hear his feet shuffling around the bedroom.

After quickly making sure you had everything (except the panties Andy ripped off of you because he refuses to give them back), you ran into Jacob’s room just in time. Now, you have the privilege of hearing them going back and forth.

“I called you-”

“Laurie, my phone is downstairs. I don’t feel like going back and forth with you, especially when I’m just waking up, so I’m not fucking going to.”

“You spent the night with her and expect-”

“Her being in the same house as me while sleeping doesn’t mean we fucking spent the night together.”

“You had no problem telling her to stay!”

“Would you have preferred that she drive in that shit and crash into a fucking pole? You saw the same fucking storm I did, it was a shit show! It’s not her fault that Jacob didn’t show up, so leave her alone!”

“Andy-”

“She means nothing to me, Laurie. I barely fucking know her, so just drop it!” he snaps.

You know why he’s saying it, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting any less. It doesn’t help that, less than 24 hours ago, you gave yourself to him completely.

You don’t want to be mad, but you’re fucking pissed.

“I don’t mean to start an argument, Andy. I just wasn’t expecting...I did something for us,” Laurie beams.

“What?”

What?

“I booked us two tickets-”

“Don’t even finish that statement. You know I can’t just randomly take off from work-”

“We used to go on spontaneous trips all the time!”

“Things change and I can’t-”

“Hello!?” Jacob calls from downstairs, reminding you that you need to finish getting dressed.

“Hey bud!” Andy responds and you roll your eyes.

You’ve been awake for all of 20 minutes and you already have a fucking headache.

“Y/N, are you up?” Jacob asks as he knocks on the door to his bedroom, “I’ve-we’ve got news for you!”

“Jesus, are you two pregnant?” you laugh awkwardly as you open the bedroom door.

“No, not yet,” Jacob laughs “we got the place! Took longer than we wanted, but we got the place we wanted!”

“That’s amazing! Jake, I’m so damn happy for you!” you smile as you wrap him in a hug. “You too, Sarah!” you beam as you let go of him and wrap her in a hug just as tight.

As you two break apart, you can tell by the look on her face that she knows something is wrong.

“Hey, what is this I hear about you getting a place?” Andy bellows as he walks out of his bedroom with just his pajama pants on.

Gorgeous asshole.

“Yeah, we got the call last night at around...7? Sarah’s parents knew before you guys,” Jacob laughs as he goes to give Andy a hug.

“I’m so happy for the both of you!”

“Jesus Andy, what the hell happened to your back?” Laurie questions as she lightly traces her hand over his back.

It’s taking all the strength you have to not face palm yourself.

“What do you mean?” Andy asks, avoiding looking at you as if his life depends on it.

“Your back is covered in marks!”

“I mean I used that back scratch thing you got me-”

“If these are the results, never use it again,” she mutters.

“We should all go out to celebrate,” Jacob suggests and it’s obvious he just wants to get the fuck out of the house.

“Oh, I at least need to shower,” you laugh awkwardly as rub you the back of your neck.

“You can shower here!”

“I don’t wanna wear the same clothes two days in a row. How about we do dinner? That gives everyone time to get ready,” you suggest, thinking it’s the best way to end the most cringe worthy conversation you’ve ever had in your life.

“Dinner is actually a great idea! It gives your father and I enough time to set a reservation and everything,” Laurie squeals, and it pisses you off that you’ve done something to make her happy.

“Sushi?” Sarah smiles, noticing your anxious state.

“If we’re not paying, I don’t care,” Jacob laughs as he wraps his arms around her.

“Tonight is on us, I promise,” Laurie laughs as she takes Andy’s hand in hers.

You want to throw up.

“How does six sound?” you ask as you step into your Vans.

“Six is perfect!”

“Six it is,” you smile at everyone “I’m gonna head out!”

You take your time going down the steps, but the minute you’re outside, you’re practically running to your car.

What the fuck?!

How the hell did everything go so wrong so fast? One minute you’re in heaven with the man of your dreams, the next you’re listening to him lie to his wife about how you mean nothing to him.

Fucking alcohol.

The entire drive back to your place, your phone won’t stop buzzing and you know it’s Andy. You know you shouldn’t be mad at him, and you know he didn’t mean it, but that doesn’t stop the stinging those words left. By the time you’re back at your place, your headache has evolved into a migraine. You finally look at your phone and you have eight unread texts from Andy and two from Sarah.

Babydoll: Okay, what the fuck was that about?

Babydoll: I knew it! I fucking knew it! I knew you two were gonna fuck last night!

Y/N: Please don’t say anything to Jake.

Babydoll: What the fuck happened?!

Y/N: Sleepover tonight? I need a minute to fucking decompress because what the fuck?!

Babydoll: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Y/N: Ugh, we’ll talk about it tonight, just...idk, act normal.

Babydoll: I swear to fuck, you two.

Y/N: Imagine how the fuck I feel.

You take a deep breath before getting out of your conversation with Sarah, and tapping on the text conversation between you and Andy.

My Heart: I am so fucking sorry, sweetheart.

My Heart: It hurt me to say it, but you know I didn’t mean it.

My Heart: Nothing has changed. I love you so much and I want nothing more than to be with you. I will be with you, I promise.

My Heart: Honey, please don’t be mad at me. I just fucking panicked.

My Heart: Just call me when you’re home, okay? Or let me know, and I’ll come over.

My Heart: I just don’t want this to be over as quickly as it started.

My Heart: You know you mean the world to me, please don’t take it to heart.

My Heart: I love you.

Y/N: I can’t talk to you right now, Andy.

My Heart: Please, just call me or let me see you. I don’t want our first argument to be about this.

Y/N: Andy, I can’t fucking do this right now.

My Heart: Well, when can you?

Y/N: I don’t fucking know, Andy! I’m not the one who said that you mean nothing to me!

My Heart: Please, even if it’s just for a moment, just let me plead my case in person!

Y/N: I really just can’t fucking do this right now. I need to lay down and I need to think.

My Heart: Please don’t change your mind, sweetheart. There’s so much that you still just don’t know yet.

Y/N: I’ll see you later, Andy.

You plop down on your bed and try to calm your emotions, but you can’t. You really shouldn’t be mad at him, because what else was he supposed to do? If Jacob wasn’t in the picture, you’re more than sure he would’ve been fine with telling Laurie the truth, but the fact of the matter is that you both would never want for Jacob to find out that way.

Still, he didn’t have to say that.

You know he feels terrible and he probably felt guilty right after he said it, but it still hurt. The one person who means the world to you and made you feel like the center of his universe, said out loud that you mean nothing to him. Yeah, it was a lie, but it still hurt like a bitch. In that moment, it felt like he was treating you like everyone else in your life had. Your parents, your so called “friends”, all of the guys you had dated...trauma is a son of a bitch.

As you toss and turn, trying to find some peace of mind and get some rest, your mind can’t stop going over last night. The more you keep trying to tell yourself that it was just sex, the more you know it’s all bullshit. No, it wasn’t traditional love making, but you felt his passion in every thrust. You felt his desire in every kiss, you saw the love in his eyes, and you felt care in his every touch.

Andy wasn’t trying to play you for a fool, and you know that in your heart of hearts, Andy’s love for you is just as genuine as yours is for his. So why can’t you just get the fuck over it? You know he didn’t mean it, so why isn’t it enough to just let it go and pretend you didn’t hear it?

Because he’s everything to you.

Nonetheless, by the time five o’clock rolls around, you’re dragging your feet about getting ready. You take the longest shower you’ve probably ever taken in your life, and you take your time picking out your outfit. Yeah, Andy’s sorry and feels like shit, but you still decide that torturing him all through dinner is your best move. It’s getting closer to summer, so the weather is nice enough that you can dress in something that’ll make him salivate.

You decide on one of your more flirty white crop tops, and your light blue denim jean shorts that hug your ass perfectly. Seeing as you just got a mani and a pedi last week, it’s only fair that you wear your favorite pair of open toed white sandals. Yes, it’s petty and unnecessary, but if he’s going to pretend that you mean nothing to him, why shouldn’t you pretend that he means nothing to you?

It’s childish, but fuck all if you aren’t tired of being made to feel like shit by those who mean the most to you.

You park right next to Laurie’s car when you pull up to the restaurant and fight the urge to key her car when you get out, telling yourself that would be taking it too far and she isn’t worth it.

“I love that shirt!” Sarah beams as you make your way over to the table where everyone is seated.

Andy looks up at you and almost chokes on his drink.

Good.

“I figured I’d finally pull something out of my closet that’s appropriate for the season. The weather is finally nice enough,” you chuckle as you take a seat, “did I miss anything?”

“The waitress took drink orders, so I got you a whiskey neat,” Jake shrugs, not even bothering to look up from his menu.

“You know me so well. So, tell me all about the new place!”

“It’s gorgeous!” Sarah squeals. “It’s a two bedroom, it’s not far from where Jacob is gonna start working after graduation, it’s only 20 minutes from my job, it’s not far from you at all, and it feels like home as soon as you step inside! You’re gonna help us move in, right?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it!”

“You sure you won’t get cold in that shirt?” Laurie asks with a small laugh, but the look in her eyes lets you know that she’s pissed.

“Well, it’s 72 degrees outside, so I think I’ll be okay,” you smile softly.

“Leave her alone, Laurie. She’s a gorgeous young woman, let her take advantage of the nice weather. Especially after that shit show of a storm we had last night.”

Now it was Sarah’s the one chocking on her drink.

“Yeah, what the hell was that? That was insane!” Jacob laughs incredulously, completely oblivious to the tension.

As usual.

“I owe you a new bottle of whiskey,” you laugh, looking down at your menu, realizing that you don’t have a clue as to what you’re gonna eat.

“No, it’s my fault. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s really not a big deal. You didn’t know it was gonna happen. Besides, I had fun,” you smirk, and you see Sarah’s eyes go wide from the corner of your eye.

“What did you get into?” Laurie questions, trying to hide the alarm in her tone.

“Played some of Jacob’s games, watched some movies on TCM, and had small talk with Mr. Barber when I went downstairs to get myself another drink.”

“Oh? What about?”

“What it’s like to be satisfied after living a life where you haven’t been.”

“What are you satisfied about?”

“Work is finally going the way I want it to,” you lie with a pleasant smile, before looking up at Laurie.

“Has anyone been able to figure out what they want? Everything sounds amazing and I love sushi too much,” Sarah laughs awkwardly, and the look on Andy’s face lets you know that he’s trying his best to contain his amused his smirk.

“I’m pretty sure I know what I’m getting. Y/N?” Jacob questions looking over to you.

“Well, I’m definitely gonna have the pork goyza for for my appetizer, but I’m on the fence about what I want as my main course.”

“What are you stuck between?” Andy asks with a smile that makes you weak.

“The spicy salmon maki and the tempura maki.”

“I’m having the same issue,” he chuckles.

“How about I get the spicy salmon, you get the tempura maki, and we’ll split it?”

“Sounds good.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Jacob interrupts “you’re my splitting food buddy!”

“We can still split fried handmade spring rolls.”

“Alright, then you and my dad can split whatever, I don’t care,” he smiles as he closes the menu and you shake your head. “How about you mom?”

“How about me what?” she smiles, finally turning her attention from you to Jacob.

“What are you gonna get?”

“Oh, pad thai. As always,” she shrugs.

As the evening goes on, you truly wonder how Jacob has no clue what’s going on. Laurie glares at you on and off, Andy is doing all he can not to look at you, Sarah is doing her best to pretend she doesn’t have a clue as to why there’s so much tension, you barely look at Andy or Laurie, and then there’s Jacob.

So completely ignorant to everything that’s going on, and you envy him so much. They really weren’t lying when they said that ignorance is bliss. However, this also makes you wonder how the hell you’re gonna tell him about you and Andy.

Is there even anything to tell?

Of course there is. It’s one argument and Andy didn’t even mean it. But still. Can he handle it? Can you handle it? Your heart has never burned for anyone before, and Andy is all you’ve ever wanted and more, but will he still want you once everything comes out? Will he be willing and ready to to handle the shit show that’s bound to take place when Laurie loses her shit? Is he ready to argue with Jacob? Handle Jacob not wanting to talk to him?

Will he still truly love you?

By the time everyone is finished with dinner, you have a migraine.

“Can we get separate checks?” you ask the waitress as she comes to collect the empty plates.

“Oh no! This is on Andy and myself!” Laurie exclaims with a false smile.

The last thing you want is a fucking handout from Laurie Barber.

God, it fucking sucks that they still share a last name.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. This was to celebrate Sarah and Jacob. I’m fine to cover my end,” you smile at her before turning your attention to the waitress, “my drinks and what I ordered can go on a separate bill.”

She only smiles and nods before walking off.

“I feel awful,” Laurie chuckles.

“It’s perfectly fine. I got a raise, so it’s actually affordable.”

“You got a raise?!” Jacob exclaims.

“It’s a recent development.”

“Why do I feel like I never know what’s going on in your life?”

“Because I never know what’s going in my life.”

“Anything else I should know about?” he asks with a small laugh.

Oh Jacob, there’s so much more you need to know.

“I think we’re all caught up,” you lie with a plastic smile as the waitress returns with the checks.

You’ve never been more excited to get out a place so fast.

“Alright, we’re moving the beginning of next month, you sure you’ll be able to help out?” Jacob asks as all of you stand in front of your car.

“I don’t care if I just have to pull a no-call/no-show, I’m going to be there. This is a huge step and I’m more than happy to be there for you!”

“You’re the best friend I could ever ask for,” Jacob smiles as he engulfs you in a tight hug.

You hate keeping all of this a secret from him.

“I’ll text you all of the information later, okay?”

“Sounds good to me,” you smile at him as you force yourself to hold back tears.

You’ve never lied to Jacob, and a lie this big feels like the worst betrayal in the world. But how do you tell him? How do you make him understand?

You get into your car and quickly start it before almost speeding off. The entire drive you’re at war with yourself, because for as terrible as you feel, it’s not enough to make you want to stop. It’s not enough to pull you away from Andy. It’s not enough to convince you that all of this is a bad idea. In fact, you’re not sure if anything is capable of making you feel that way. Andy has been the center of your universe since you two spent that night eating ice cream on the hood of his car, and it’s only grown over time. For as much as you’re terrified of what’s to come, it’s not enough to make you quit on the both of you.

It’s not enough to make you stop loving him.

The second you step foot back inside your apartment, you kick off your shoes and make yourself a drink.Yes, they’re better ways to handle the situation, but you aren’t interested in any of that right now. You just want Andy and you want to be numb.

You’re alone for an hour before you hear, “bitch, open up! We gotta talk!”

You can’t help but giggle as you make your way over to the door and open it, “took you long enough.”

“What the fuck was that?!” Sarah exclaims as she makes her way inside your apartment. “You two are insanely cute, but in front of Laurie?! What the fuck?!”

“I don’t understand what the hell that was either.”

“Okay, lets rewind. What the hell happened last night?” Sarah asks as she makes her own drink.

“Well, when I got there yesterday, I saw Andy’s car but no one answered when I called out, so I assumed I was alone. When I woke up and discovered that not only was I not seeing you and Jacob, but also wouldn’t be able to leave, I put on Jacob’s hoodie, and finished off his whiskey. I wanted to get drunk so I could go to bed, so I went downstairs, without pants, to steal a bottle.”

“Ah shit.”

“And guess who was sitting in the dark, drunk, and watching the Turner Classic Movies channel?”

“Jacob said Mr. Barber’s been into black and white films a lot lately. Wait, why weren’t you wearing pants?”

“I thought I was alone and don’t like sleeping in pants when I’m alone.”

“That’s fair, so what happened?”

“He asked why I came downstairs and I told him that I was gonna grab a glass and a bottle of something to drink, and he told me to grab a glass and have a seat with him.”

“You didn’t think to put on pants?”

“When I said I would, he told me it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.”

“Come again?!”

You sigh as you get up, going into your bedroom and grabbing the picture  he gifted you on Christmas,

“He came by on Christmas and left this and a key chain gifted in front of my door. When he was back in his car, he called me and we talked for a bit. I sat in my window sill,” you nod over to the window, “and I wasn’t wearing any pants. Nothing had happened at that point.”

“When did you two take this photo? You both look so happy,” she smiles softly.

“We used to go on late night drives together. When he couldn’t sleep, he would pick me up and we’d hangout. Sometimes we’d just drive around and talk, other times we’d get food. That was a selfie I took of us the first time we hung out. We got ice cream at 2am and stayed up till the sun came up. That was the night I realized that I’m in love with him,” you finish in almost a whisper as you tear a little.

“Y/N-”

“Anyway,” you interrupt as you clear your throat “that’s what he meant. I grabbed a glass and sat down next to him and he vented. Apparently, Laurie had a full blown affair the first time she cheated. The guy would buy her flowers, take her on dates, get them hotel rooms, they fucked quite a lot...it was a whole thing. However, when she came clean to Andy, he forgave her cause he wanted to make it work. Then, a few months ago, maybe a year at this point I’m not too sure, she cheated again because he didn’t answer his phone and she got all pissy. So, that’s why he started yelling about a divorce that night you told me Jacob told you about-”

“Hold the fuck up! She did what?! And she’s treating you like shit?! You and Mr. Barber?! JACOB DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS BECAUSE BOTH OF YOU ARE WAY NICER THAN SHE DESERVES, BUT SHE’S GONNA GIVE YOU BOTH A HARD TIME?! WHAT THE FUCK?!”

“Yeah, that’s only part of what I’m feeling,” you scoff, finishing off your drink and pouring yourself another. “So, I started to tell him that I was sorry and he told me I had no reason to be sorry. He told me how much he loves me, how much he wants to be with me and he doesn’t understand why we can’t be...when I went to tell me to stop, he told me to get on his lap...I couldn’t have stayed away if I had tried. It doesn’t help that I’ve craved nothing but his touch since the last time we made out-”

“Back the fuck up, you two did what now?!”

“The night I bailed on you guys because I was fed up with my day, I went to a club and Andy was there with his friends, because Laurie wanted him out of the house since I was supposed to be there. He begged me to let him take me home, because he couldn’t stand to see me leave with another man. We got to my place, things were said, he brought me upstairs and as he was about to leave, I grabbed him and kissed him. We made out for all of 5 minutes before he stopped it. He felt bad because I was drunk and he said it felt like he was taking advantage of me.”

“You kissed him!”

“That’s what I said, but he said it didn’t matter. Anyway, last night...we fucked around a little on the sofa, then we went upstairs and into his bedroom and...,” you trail off and a small smile comes to your face at the memory.

“Okay, I know I shouldn’t ask because he’s my boyfriend’s dad, but you gotta tell me,” she giggles and you burst out laughing.

“Not exaggerating, the best I’ve ever had. I swear to God, that man worked my body like a fucking fiddle! He’s not selfish, he’s skilled with every part of his body, he takes his time....last night was a fucking dream, and after...he was so fucking sweet and gentle. He was reassuring and held me so close, like he was afraid I wouldn’t be there in the morning.”

“That’s so fucking sweet,” Sarah smiles, curling her legs up on the sofa.

“It was, then morning came,” you scowled.

“What happened this morning?”

“Well, he woke me up and got me all worked up, and we had just started when Laurie came home. I’ve never gotten of bed so fucking fast in my life. I ran across the hall naked, holding onto Jacob’s hoodie and my bra as if my life depended on it and-”

“What about your panties?!”

“I didn’t get those back,” you chuckle with a smirk.

“I swear to God, you two are meant for each other,” she laughs and you laugh softly with her.

“So, I get to Jacob’s room and start getting dressed fast as fuck, because for whatever reason, I was afraid she’d walk in. Anyway, she gets upstairs and starts laying into Andy about why he didn’t answer his phone, why did he let me stay over, why he’s naked, and she wouldn’t let up. Eventually, Andy got fed up and said that I mean nothing to him and she needs to drop it.”

“I mean, I get why he said it, but he definitely could’ve said something else.”

“My fucking sentiments exactly. I guess tonight he was trying to show me how sorry he truly was, and of course, Jacob was completely oblivious to all of it. I just don’t know.”

“Babe, I know it hurt, but we both know he didn’t mean it.”

“It’s just triggering, because it’s always me that ends up getting hurt. I know Andy isn’t a bad guy, and I know he’d never purposely hurt me, but the fear is still there and hearing him say that...it just triggered all of my insecurities and fears. Will he love me enough to stay if Jacob gets mad about us? Will he stay when Laurie gets mad and turns the town against us? Will he be ashamed when the town turns up their noses up at us? Yeah, he says no, but a lot of people have told me a lot of things,” you sniffle as you dry your eyes.

“Oh sweetie,” Sarah sighs as she moves closer to you and wraps you in a tight hug, “this isn’t anything like those other times. He’s not your parents, he’s not Mr. Fucking Matthews, and he isn’t like any of those other assholes you dated.”

“I just don’t know,” you sob.

“It’s gonna be okay, babe. You’ll see,” she promises gently as she strokes your back.

Sarah’s words roll around in your head as she tries to calm you down, and you know she’s making perfectly good sense, but everything happened so fast today...you just can’t quiet the fear.

As you cry into Sarah’s shoulder, you wonder if the fear will ever pass or if it’ll live loudly inside of you forever.

You wonder if you’ll ever feel like you’re good enough for Andy Barber.

Andy’s P.O.V

“She’s gorgeous, Andy? Really? You didn’t even try and hide the fact that you were flirting with her!” Laurie barks as I take some clothes out of my drawer.

“You believe whatever you want, I truly don’t give a damn.”

“And you said nothing happened last night! I wouldn’t count a fucking conversation as nothing!”

“I suppose I could’ve taken her to a hotel, fucked her all night, come creeping back in early in the morning, then lie to your face about where I’ve been all night!”

“Andy, it’s like you two were on your own little date!”

“I can’t help the fact that you hate her, Laurie. That’s something you need to work out in your own time,” I sigh, fed up with lying.

I don’t want to hide you, or us. I don’t want to say things that’ll hurt you or draw attention to us, I sure as shit don’t wanna sneak around, and I don’t ever want to make you feel less than.

How could I fucking say that?

‘She means nothing to me.’

Of all the fucking things to say, I had to go and say that. You’re good at masking your facial features, but your eyes said it all: my words cut you right to your core. You didn’t even want to talk to me, and I can’t find any fault with that. After so many other people have said one thing and done another, I had to go and sound like another asshole.

Fuck, everything was so perfect, then fucked up almost instantly. Fucked up because of my inability to think fast, which is saying something, cause I’m a fucking lawyer.

“Are you even listening to me, Andy?” Laurie sighs, putting her hands on her hips.

“No. Listen, I don’t feel like doing this tonight, so I’m not going to.”

“Andy, please-”

“Laurie, I’m gonna be out late and I’ll be sleeping on the sofa when I get back. I’m gonna start packing tomorrow. Make this easier for the both of us and just sign the damn papers. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this with you.”

“There’s still so much more-”

“There’s nothing left for us, Laurie. Do whatever you need to, to deal with that, but you do need to finally accept and deal with it.”

I hear her breakdown and start to cry as I turn to leave, and while I feel bad for being so blunt with her, I don’t know how else to approach this anymore. I’m through with keeping you on the sidelines, and I’m done trying to keep Laurie happy.

You are my main concern now. You are the only one I’m concerned with keeping happy, and I’m ready to do whatever I need to do to prove it to you.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“How have I never heard this album before?” Sarah asks, drink in hand, as she drunkenly dances around to ‘Tony Adams’ by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros.

“You can’t always be cooler than me,” you tease before getting up, grabbing your cup, and making your way into your kitchen, “do we wanna eat?”

“When don’t we wanna eat?” she laughs.

“That’s a very good point,” you murmur, opening the door and seeing what you have available to you. “How about-”

You’re interrupted by a knock on door.

“Probably Jacob feeling left out,” you giggle to yourself as you open your door. “Oh.”

Andy doesn’t say a word, he just wraps his arms around you, pulls you close, and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in decades. Your only response is to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back.

For as hurt as you are, you’ll never turn down a soul stirring kiss from Andy. Whether that’s a good or bad thing, you’re not sure yet, but right now, you just don’t care.

“You’re drunk again,” Andy breathes once you two break apart.

“I told you I have a tendency to drink too much at times,” you mumble, still in a daze from his kiss.

“I don’t like you drinking to solve your problems. Especially when you’re alone.”

“Oh, I’m not alone,” you laugh softly, moving your head to the side so he can see Sarah standing in your living area.

“Hey there, Mr. Barber,” she chuckles.

“Oh...hey, Sarah,” he greets awkwardly and you can’t help but laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go watch YouTube videos in Y/N’s room. You two lovebirds workout whatever is wrong,” she hums before practically running to your bedroom and closing the door behind her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Andy-”

“No, you don’t know how much I regretted it as soon as I said it. I didn’t mean a word of it. You mean everything and I’m so sorry I hurt you like that.”

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not, so don’t pretend that it is. Don’t lie to me.”

“She’s your wife,” you scoff as you let him go.

“Don’t. Don’t act like it’s something I want.”

“She still hasn’t signed. Lets move you out of the doorway, I don’t need anyone seeing me be a man stealing whore,” you mutter, breaking out of his hold and stepping to the side so he can come in.

“Should I just come back when you’re sober?”

“You should come back when you’re divorced.”

“Honey, there’s just so much more you don’t know.”

“Did she sign the papers?”

“Honey-”

“Did she sign the fucking papers, Andy?!” you snap, slamming your hand down on the kitchen island.

“I’m trying.”

“Okay.”

“I want to be with you! I want to be out in the open with you! Give me the okay and I’ll go back to that house right now and tell her everything! I’ll tell her that I’ve been in love with you since I helped you move into this loft, I’ll tell her that we made love last night, I’ll tell her that I’ve never felt so strongly as for anyone as I do for you! Give me the okay and I’ll do it!”

“You can just do that to Jacob?”

“He’s an adult-”

“He’s your son!”

“He’ll get over it!”

“Why are you here?!”

“Because I love you! I am so in love with you and I...last night, I wasn’t saying a bunch of words to get you into bed. I meant everything-”

“But your first thought to respond with was ‘she means nothing to me’?”

“I panicked!”

“Andy, I love you, but I really don’t have the energy to jerked around-”

“We can do this. It’s messy and it’s fucked up, but we’ll figure out a way to tell Jacob and we’ll be together. I told you, I don’t give a fuck about what anyone in this town has to say and I don’t give a fuck how Laurie feels. I just want you, sweetheart. I told you that you’ve always been my dream and that wasn’t bullshit. You’re a dream worth chasing and I’m gonna chase you until we’re a reality.”

“Andy...”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll do everything in my power to prove to you that this is real.”

“You can’t stay here tonight,” you sniffle, trying to hide your tears, “Sarah’s staying here.”

“I had a feeling,” he laughs “lets do lunch tomorrow?”

“We’ll figure-”

“Y/N, I know you and Sarah are having girl’s night or whatever, but I need to talk to you!” Jacob calls from the other side of your door.

“For fucks sake, is my place just the place to be tonight?!” you mutter furiously as Andy chuckles softly and Sarah runs out of your bedroom.

“Time for us to trade places, bud,” Sarah awkwardly smiles as she ushers Andy into your bedroom.

“Where’s your key?” you question, trying to sound as normal as possible, getting yourself together.

“I don’t know, it was on my nightstand and now it isn’t, can you open up?”

“Babe, give us a second, you’re catching us mid-concert,” Sarah responds with a faux laugh, looking at you with concerned eyes.

You give her a small nod as she draws a deep breath before opening the door.

“Someone’s impatient,” she chuckles as she steps aside, letting him in.

“I don’t mean to be a dick, and I tried to wait, but I just needed to talk about it. Was tonight weird to anyone besides me?”

“Weird how?” you ask while making him a drink.

“My parents were more socially awkward than usual. My dad calling you gorgeous? What the fuck was that?”

“Why was that weird?”

“Don’t start that. You know you looked great, but my dad isn’t like every other old pervert in this town.”

“Your dad isn’t old, Jacob,” you scowl as you grab your glass, pouring yourself a drink.

“I know guys his age are more your style, but to me, he’s old. Plus, he and my mom got into a pretty loud screaming match before he stormed out.”

“What about?”

“I don’t know, I sat out on the porch and drank a beer. I think all of this is starting to take a toll on my him,” he huffs as he takes a seat at the kitchen island, sipping on his drink.

“I’m sure he’s doing his best to sort things out,” you sigh as you sit across from him.

“Should I say something to him?”

“Have you spoken to him at all about how you feel?”

“No. He’s been so calm and collected about all of this, but he went out of his way to hurt my mom tonight and that’s not him at all. I’ll talk to both of them separately.”

“How did he go out of his way to hurt her?”

“The comment about you being gorgeous, you two bonding over fucking food, the little jokes.”

“Why does that mean he went out of his way to hurt her? Andy and I just have a lot in common!”

“Andy?”

“Jacob, it’s late and I’ve been drinking. I’m not about to be formal every five seconds, it’s just us three.”

“You don’t think it was a little weird?”

“I mean, I think your dad is hot, so no,” you shrug as Sarah chokes on her drink.

“You know what you don’t need to tell me?”

“You asked.”

“That’s the last thing I need; my dad having a mental fucking breakdown and start dating someone my age.”

“I’ll drop off an application.”

“Please stop,” he groans as he lays his head on the table.

“Well Jacob, what exactly are you expecting him to do? Get divorced and be alone for the rest of his life?”

“No, I just...I’ve been thinking about it a lot these past few days. I want them to divorce, it’ll be best for him, but I don’t...it’s always been the three of us. Whether it was healthy or not, it’s the only family I’ve known, and we’ve been through hell and back. I don’t know if I’ll ever accept either of them having anyone else in their lives, but I want him to be happy. I want them both to be happy,” he finishes with a heavy sigh.

How the hell are you and Andy supposed to tell him now?

“If he settled down with someone younger, would it really be so bad?” you ask timidly, terrified of the answer.

“It wouldn’t be my first or second choice, but it wouldn’t be awful. If he’s truly happy, I won’t care,” he mutters softly with a frustrated sigh, finishing off his drink.

You force yourself to swallow down the lump in your throat. You blink away tears trying to accept that if you pursue a relationship with Andy, it may be the end of your friendship with Jacob.

“Guess we’ll just have to see how it all plays out,” you shrug with a meager smile.

“What should I even start off with?”

“Just tell them how you feel, separately, of course.Yeah, you’re moving out, but they’re still your parents, and it’s taking a toll on you. You can tell it’s taking a toll on them. You need them to get it together.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He takes a deep breath before rubbing the back of his neck and standing up. You can feel the heaviness he’s trying to ignore, and you’re torn because you don’t want to cause him anymore stress and frustration; but you just love Andy so damn much.

Why does all of this have to be so damn complicated?

“I’ll let you guys get back to your night, keep an eye on her,” Jacob chuckles with a nod towards Sarah, who flips him off in return. “I love you both, talk to you later.”

You start crying the second he’s out the door.

“He’ll come around,” Andy coos softly as he steps out of your room.

“He’s gonna fucking hate me!”

“No, he’s really not,” Sarah tries to reassure you, occupying the seat that Jacob was in. “He’ll throw a hissy fit, probably won’t talk to you for a month or two, and then he’ll apologize and ask to talk it out. He’s emotional, not a complete idiot.”

“You both heard him! He said-”

“He said as long as I’m truly happy, he’ll accept it. Listen to me, honey,” Andy starts, gently pulling you out of your seat and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close. “This isn’t a breakdown or some sort of crisis. I love you. I am so insanely in love with you to the point that it terrifies me because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I don’t want to fuck this up, I don’t want you to get hurt, and I don’t want you to quit on us. We both did our best to avoid this, but it was pointless because look where we are. I’m so happy when I’m with you, and for once, life makes sense. You are worth everything to me and I will be with you. It won’t be a secret and it’ll work out fine.”

“Jacob-”

“I’ll deal with Jake, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure out a way to get Laurie to sign those damn papers, and then I’ll tell him-”

“We’re in this together, Andy. We’ll tell him together. If we’re gonna do this, really do this, we should do it together.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can’t leave you to face all the hard shit alone. That’s not how relationships work, well not how a healthy one works. I wanna be all in with you. Even the hard stuff.”

“You two,” Sarah whispers with a grin as her eyes start to water.

“Shut up,” you scoff, drying your own eyes.

“Sarah, I’m sorry you’re in the middle of all this-”

“It’s fine, Mr. Barber. You both deserve a win and I’m happy you two have each other. I’m more than happy to keep my mouth shut until you guys figure it out.”

“Thank you,” Andy smiles with a nod before turning his attention to you. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Honey-”

“It’s just going to take some adjusting. All of this is about to get a lot harder before it gets easier and...not every day is going to be amazing. It is what it is, whatever.”

“Don’t make plans next weekend, okay?”

“What? Why not?”

“Just trust me. Please don’t make any plans.”

“Well...okay then.”

“I’m gonna get out of here, I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. Please...don’t change your mind, okay?”

“We’re in it now, so where else is there to go?” you chuckle softly. “I love you too, Andy. Let me know when you’re safe.”

“I always do,” he smiles before kissing your forehead.

He nods towards Sarah before turning and making his way out. Just like that, you feel alone all over again.

“I know I probably shouldn’t be rooting for you two, but you two are just so fucking cute!”

“Sarah,” you scowl and laugh as you get up to make yourself another drink.

“Okay, I gotta ask, what’s the draw? Obviously, it’s not lost on anyone that he’s fucking fine, but what makes him worth...everything?”

“I’m safe with him,” you shrug. “When I’m with Andy, I’m home. My brain never shuts off and it’s always so fucking loud, but with Andy...I’m so calm. Nothing is scary, stressful, or tiring. When I’m with him, I just feel light. Yeah, the one time we had sex was amazing, but it’s so much more than a physical desire. It always has been. We’ve been on so many car rides, had so many conversations, helped each other cope with so much...he just knows me. He gets me, ya know? He’s my home.”

“God, I’m so fucking jealous of you,” she scoffs as she scarfs down her drink.

“What? Why?”

“I want Jacob to feel the same way about me. I want us to have what you and Andy have.”

“Sarah, stop it. You know Jacob is head over heels-”

“I own half his heart, babe,” she smiles softly, getting up and making her way over to the counter to make another drink.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. You can’t tell me that you don’t know.”

“Sarah, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Jacob is in love with you.”

“Stop it! That’s horseshit and you know it!”    

“Do you know how many times I’ve tried to talk myself into believing that? It’s infuriating at times, because I know you have no interest in him, but I see it in him. I see it, how he looks at you, the way he always comes to you for council; like he did tonight-”

“Sarah, there is no one on this planet that Jacob loves more than you. Jacob loves me, but he’s not in love with me.”

“You really are as pure they come,” she chuckles softly, shaking her head.

“What are you talking about?”

“Y/N, I don’t blame you or like, hate you. There was a point in time when I abandoned Jacob, and we basically broke up. Then, when you came into his life, you just trusted him completely. You were always there for him.”

“Sarah-”

“It’s fine,” she smiles sheepishly, trying to ignore her tears, “you don’t want him at all, so why should I be mad?

“Sarah, you’re drunk and-”

“Trust me, I’ve thought about this a lot,” she laughs humorlessly, “this has nothing to do with me drinking.”

“Is this why you want me with Andy so bad?”

“God no,” she scoffs before taking a sip of her drink, “if anything, it’ll make it worse, but you’ll be happy. You’ll be happy and so will Andy. I don’t tell you that you’re my best friend to make you smile, I say it because you really are my best friend. I want you to succeed, I want you to be happy, and I want things to work out in your favor. I’ve seen all the hurt you’ve gone through and I want better for you.”

“Sarah...why do you-”

“Stay with Jacob? Because I love him,” she states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s never going to cheat on me with you and you’d never let him. He’ll get over it at some point.”

“This isn’t fair or right. I’m ruining everyone’s life.”

“You’re not ruining shit. What’s wrong between Andy and Laurie is on her, and there’s nothing wrong between Jake and I. In all honesty, I don’t even think he knows. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to meet you in high school,” she laughs, taking a long sip of her drink. “I knew he had a thing for you, but we were trying to work things out. We always joked about being the old couple that were once childhood sweethearts. I was terrified of meeting you, because I was terrified of seeing the person who would take him away from me, but then I met you,” she laughs. “It was so evident how much you weren’t into him.You made it so easy to love you and get to know you, and honestly? I get it. The way you describe Andy? That’s how you make everyone else feel. You don’t understand how much of yourself you give to people. Even if it’s just for a moment, you make people feel like they’re safe, like they have a home. It’s not hard at all too see why Andy is so in love with you.”

You’re thoughtful before you speak: “Sarah, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything.”

“What did you and Andy talk about at the Christmas party?”

“I was wondering if you’d ever ask,” she chuckles. “We talked about you and the relationship you two could have. He’s so fucking in love with you. He  said that the only reason he hadn’t made a move was because he wanted you to be as happy as you made him. I told him that he can do that by being with you, but he shook his head. He insisted that you two being together would only complicate your life more, but he wanted nothing more than to be with you. I told him that he’s the piece of your life that’s been missing and he said you’d be happier with someone else, that he didn’t want to weigh you down. So, I asked him why he was willing to suffer if he knew you felt the same way  he did.”

“And?”

“He said he’d be willing to take on all of the pain and suffering in the world if it meant you’d be happy,” she smiles softly.

“Fuck!”

“Y/N-”

“Sarah...you don’t get it. Before I met Andy, I didn’t even feel like I could breathe. Last night, it was all so simple because there was no Laurie and Jacob. No thought of them.We were in our own little world and we were happy. It was peaceful, full of love, happiness, and for once, my life wasn’t a complete shit show. He’s been trying so hard to get her to sign the fucking papers...there were times I completely forgot about Jake. How shitty does that make me? I didn’t think about my own best fucking friend!”

“Babe, you’ve spent the better part of your young adult life looking out for Jake. When it comes to love, you’re allowed to be selfish.”

“Sarah, what the fuck am I gonna do?” you sob as your phone buzzes.

You’re quick to take it out and check, and a smile is instantly painted on your face when you see that it’s Andy.

My Heart: Had to stop to pick up a few things for this weekend, but I’m safe. I love you so much, honey. Counting down the seconds until I can see you again, because I miss the fuck out of you. The day we start living together is gonna be the best fucking day. Please don’t drink too much, okay? We’re gonna figure all this shit out. I love you.

“Sarah, I can’t quit him and I don’t want to.”

“Then don’t,” she smiles at you reassuringly, “fight like hell to make it work.”

As you and Sarah go back to drinking and dancing the night away, one thought is clearer in your mind than it’s ever been: you and Andy are meant to be with one another. By no means will any of it be easy, but you’re more than ready to fight like hell for the love of your life.

You’re more than ready to fight like hell for Andy Barber.

**

Laurie’s P.O.V.

“Andy, can you stop packing for five fucking minutes?!” I sob as he continues to load his clothes into his duffle bag.

“Laurie, I’ve told you multiple times that I’m done, and you won’t fucking hear it. I don’t know what else to do,” he shrugs, a look of pure indifference on his face.

“Andy-”

“You’re the one that cheated. Without saying it out loud, you decided that you don’t want this anymore. You don’t want us. So, I’m moving on. I’ve moved on!”

“Andy, no. You think you’ve moved on, but you’re just-”

“Laurie, I don’t love you. I have no desire to work this out, and I never will again. Please, just let it go and sign the goddamn papers!”

“You just need time,” I sob as he throws up his hands and scowls.

That’s what he used to say to me all the time, and it always worked like a charm; he could always bring me back. However, now? It seems like a lie. I’ve been using the same line for practically a year, and for what? The more I say it, the less he wants me.

Maybe that’s the difference. He was fighting for someone who he truly loved, and somewhere deep inside, I loved him back. Now? I’ve pushed him away so much that he truly is finished with all of this, but now I finally wanna come back.

I finally see what’s worth fighting for.

“Where are you even living now?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m gone for good, and you need to sign the damn papers.”

“You don’t need to be so cold!”

“That seems to be the only way that you’ll respond,” he huffs before closing his bag. “Laurie, at one point, we were lovers and best friends. We have Jacob. I don’t want this to get ugly, so please don’t let it get to that point. He’s moving out, we both know he’s gonna propose to Sarah sooner or later, and you and I both know that we’ve run our course. You can have the house, the cars, you can paint me as the bad guy. I truly don’t care. Please, just let me go.”

“Andy, please, lets just go away-”

“I don’t want to go away!” he finally snaps, causing me to jump just a bit.

Hes never been this way with me.

“Laurie,” he sighs dropping his bag, clearly frustrated and worn out “don’t make me be this guy. The angry husband who has to be an asshole. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want either of us to hate each other. After all is said and done, I still want us to at least be able to have some sort of healthy relationship. It doesn’t have to be something fueled by hate and anger, it can be amicable. I don’t hate you, Laurie, I just don’t love you anymore,” he sighs before picking up his bag. “Think about it, I’ll see you in a few days.”

As he walks away I can’t help but think back to college. Was this all my fault? He never pursued me, I always wanted him.

He never looked for me, I always looked for him.

“You came!” I beamed as the handsome brunette came walking into my dorm room.

“You made it sound like I’d be missing out on something big if I show up,” he chuckled with a bright smile.

I’d been daydreaming about the smile since I first saw it two weeks ago in the campus library.

“You didn’t bring anyone?” I asked, hopeful that I wasn’t about to make myself look like a complete fool.

“No one to bring. I spend most of my time studying or working. That’s why I decided maybe it would be nice to go to a party. Thanks for invitin’ me.”

“Thanks for showing up,” I replied, and I could tell my cheeks were burning red.

From that day on, I looked for him, I waited for him, and I tried to come up with any reason to talk to him, until he finally asked me out. At first, it was exciting and I was enamored with him. Then, after about five months, I started to get lazy and he took notice. It’s not even that I stopped loving him, but I realized I wanted to be young and experience college as a single woman. Neither of us said a thing about it, but I could tell he knew and that I’d hurt him.

Then I started seeing him hanging around with some girl and it made my blood boil.

He was mine.

So, I showed up at his dorm one day and when he opened the door, I practically pounced on him, and of course he didn’t say no. Of course, my little impulsive act ended up with me pregnant, and he was a saint about it. Why wouldn’t he be?

Andy is the sweetest soul on earth; he always has been.

Everything was perfect for a while. Even with school being as demanding as it was, Andy was a loving and doting father. I wasn’t surprised that he proposed, and I was more than happy to say yes. I wanted nothing more than to devote myself to him forever.

For a while, it was perfect. We had the perfect life. Sure, I looked at other men sometimes, just wondering what it would be like to have the freedom to do whatever I wanted, but I never acted on anything. I had a good life, why mess it up?

Then, Jacob’s trial.

Even after everything that happened; the arguments, the trial, the sleeping in separate rooms...the accident...he still treated me like I was the center of his universe, and loved me unconditionally.

But I felt betrayed.

How could he not tell me about his father? Yeah, it’s his life and he’s allowed his secrets, but I’m his wife! So, after all was said and done, even with him being as amazing as he was, I still cheated. I cheated because I wanted him to feel as betrayed as I did. I seduced his best friend, best man at our wedding, and fucked him in the backseat of our car. It should’ve been quick and dirty, but I fucked up and let it turn into something that it should’ve never been.

It was nice to feel like I was a priority, to feel beautiful, and just get away from the weight that now comes with being a Barber. The flowers, gifts, the sneaking...it all felt new and exciting. I felt young again.

Andy started to notice of how distant I was becoming and offered to take me  on a trip, or pay for me to go on my own trip, and that’s when the guilt set in. I was out being the world’s worst wife, and he was still trying to take care of me. So, I broke off the relationship and came clean to Andy.

He didn’t even say a word, and to be honest, he didn’t need to. The look in his eyes told me everything. I had crushed him and instantly felt terrible. I was so ready for him to demand a divorce, and a small part of me wanted him to, but he just stormed out and spent the rest of the night driving around. Of course, Andy being the amazing man he is, came back in the morning and told me he loved me and wanted to work it out.

That should’ve been enough for me and I should’ve been happy, but of course I wasn’t. I dug my nails in and did my best to make sure that no one would ever be able to steal him from me, including making sure he never met Y/N. Yes I’m the one that made the mess, and it was obvious that she’d done nothing wrong, but still. Enough people talk and word gets around. It was irrational, mean, and dumb, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

All my hard work and it did nothing.

I messed everything up out of pure fear and jealousy, but it was nowhere near as bad as the last time. I knew it pushed him to his wits end, but it’s something I know we can make our way back from it.

But now? After that dinner for Jacob and Sarah?

God, the way he looked at Y/N that night? Is she the one he’s in love with? No, she can’t be. It’s just not possible. He wouldn’t do that to Jacob, and she’s so damn young. 24? 25? He’d never go for someone her age.

No, whoever has his attention...I can fix it. I can make it right and do better this time. I know it took me forever to realize it, but I truly do love Andy, and I’ll do anything I can to prove that to him.

I can fix this.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“What?!” you snap as you answer your phone, making your way into your loft.

“What did I do? I’m sorry,” Andy starts and you instantly feel bad.

“I didn’t check my phone before I answered. I’m sorry, what’s up?”

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I’m just fucking fed up.”

“With what?”

“With everything!”

“Baby, what happened?”

“Fucking...Andy, I miss you,” you sigh as you sit down on your bed, kicking off your shoes before taking your hair out of a ponytail and laying down.

“I miss you too, honey. Talk to me, what happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“How can I help?”

“Come over.”

“I can’t, I’m gonna see you tomorrow though.”

“Why not now?”

“You’ll know tomorrow.”

“I need you now.”

“What do you need?”

“For you to make me feel better.”

Andy chuckles before responding,” how can I make you feel better right now?”

“I wanna see you.”

In just a matter of moments your phone is buzzing and you know it’s Andy FaceTiming you.

“Where are you?” he asks, looking over you as much as he can as you unbutton the top two buttons on your blouse.

“I’m home, in bed.”

“Now, how am I supposed to make you feel better if you’re in bed?”

“I think you know, daddy,” you pout as you continue to unbutton your blouse.

“It hasn’t even been a full week, sweetheart,” he chuckles, but his gaze is intense.

“You made me feel so good.”

“Only once and you’re already so desperate?”

“Please come over, daddy.”

“No, but I’ll watch you get yourself off,” he states with an authoritative voice.

And just like that, your pussy is more than desperate for him.

“Daddy-”

“Lick two fingers then rub your clit.”

“Please-”

“Don’t be a brat. Do what daddy told you to.”

“Fuck,” you sigh, bringing one of your hands to your mouth, licking and sucking two of your fingers, then hiking up your skirt and pushing your panties to the side and playing with your clit. “Daddy,” you moan pathetically.

“What do you want me to do to you?”

“I want...I want you to eat my pussy so bad! It felt so good having your tongue on me!”

“Yeah? What else, baby?”

“Daddy, please just come over. I haven’t seen or felt you all week and I’m going crazy! I miss you so much,” you whine pathetically.

“I feel the same, honey, but if I come over, I won’t leave. Just gotta wait, sweetheart,” he broods as you hear him undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants. “Now, tell daddy what else you want him to do to you.”

“I need to feel your lips on me. I need you to kiss me like you did when you were carrying me up the steps, I need to feel just how much you love me before you’re mean to me!”

“Mean to you how?”

“Make me choke on your fat cock, daddy! Make me take every inch of it, then fuck me like a slut, please!”

“Jesus Y/N,” he growls, “lick your fingers then tell me how you taste,” he demands, voice rough and coarse.

“Mmm, so fucking good!”

“Shit, I can only fucking imagine! Now, be a good girl and start fucking yourself with those fingers, baby. Fuck yourself and cum hard for daddy.”

“Shit, I miss you so much, daddy!”

“I miss you too, baby. Can’t fucking wait...can’t wait to see you and bend you over tomorrow!”

“Jesus daddy!”

“Gonna spread those fucking legs and eat that pussy so good, then I’m gonna taste that ass...fuck!”

“Shit!” you cry out, cumming hard, and almost dropping your phone.

“Fuck, sweetheart!” Andy groans softly as you see bits of his cum landing on a desk.

“Where...where are you, daddy?”

He takes his time, collecting himself and regulating his breathing, before he answers, “at work.”

“Andy!”

“It’s alright,” he laughs softly, “no one’s here and the door is closed.”

“You can’t do that, daddy.”

“Well, I can’t exactly do this where I live.”

“You could’ve come over.”

“I told you, sweetheart; if I would’ve come over, I wouldn’t have been able to leave.”

“It’s not like that’s a bad thing,” you sigh, finally meeting his warm and loving gaze.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve had an attitude all week, you’ve been distant, and I know you were crying before you answered the phone last night.”

“Andy-”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just hate this fucking week.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t seen you, my mother is in one of her rage moods; which is apparently my fault cause I don’t go and see her, my fucking heel broke the other day and I stepped in a fucking puddle, my boss actually fucking put his hand on my upper thigh today-”

“I’m sorry, he did what?”

“It’s fine-”

“It’s not fucking fine!”

“Andy, calm down. It’s fine, I told him it made me uncomfortable and-”

“We’re finding you a new job.”

“You’re sweet,” you chuckle softly, sitting up and taking off your blouse, “I have bills to pay.”

“We’ll live together soon enough, it won’t matter.”

“Yeah okay,” you scoff. “Don’t you have to get home to your wife?”

“Don’t. That’s not fair and you know it.”

“Yeah, that’s not fair,” you mutter, rolling your eyes before getting up.

“Sweetheart-”

“Do you fuck her?”

“You know I don’t, I don’t even sleep in the same bed as her!”

“You still live in the same fucking house.”

“Honey, what’s going on?”

“I’m lonely, Andy!” you finally snap as you grab a glass. “It’s been a fucking week and I...I heard you say what you said, I haven’t seen you since, Jacob’s been telling me that he secretly wants you two to work it out, and...what the fuck am I doing?!”

Andy lets out a heavy sigh and it only makes you feel worse. “Do you just wanna break this off now?”

“No,” you sniffle, trying to control your emotions, “I love you. I love you so much, and I just want to be with you, but all of this-”

“It’s not always going to be like this, honey.”

“Andy, are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want me?”

“I’m coming over.”

“Andy-”

“No, I’m on way. I’ll see you in a bit, I love you.”

With that, he hung up and you’re left to wonder what the fuck is going on. For as much as Andy wants to be divorced, he isn’t. For as much as Andy loves you, he still isn’t with you completely. For as good of a mam Andy Barber is, he still isn’t only yours.

But God, does he want to be.

Why are you picking a fight with him? Why are you trying to hurt him? It’s more than obvious that he just wants to love and be with you. Hes spent the entire week staying late in his office, listening to you bitch and complain about your week (at least what you were willing to tell him), and he promised constantly that it would get better. He promised that this wouldn’t be how it’ll always go. He promised that you two would be openly together, and he’d have no issue being with you in front of everyone who has something negative to say.

He told you a million times that he loves you and just how much.

However, there’s still fear, worry, and guilt. Fear that he’ll decide you’re not enough and leave, worry that you’ll fuck it up because you’ve never actually been in a good or healthy relationship, and guilt because you’re sneaking around and lying to Jacob. Yes, Andy was unhappy and trying to get out of his marriage before he met you, but he wasn’t fully committed to it until he met you.

What if Jacob thinks that you’re the one who broke up his family? What if he lashes out at you? What if your best friend decides that he wants to walk out of your life for good? Could you really handle that? Would Andy be able to handle his son being that furious? Would he still choose you?

Yeah, he says that he’s all in and wants nothing more than forever with you, but what happens-

The sharp knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts.

The second you open the door, Andy’s lips are on yours and he’s picking you up. His grip on you is tight as you wrap your legs around him, finally feeling some relief at simply the feel of him.

“Am I sure that I want you? Am I sure that I want us? Honey, I’m never changing my mind,” he whispers, showering soft kisses all along your neck.

“Andy,” you whisper, running your hands through his hair, not caring if anyone sees the two of you.

“You are my whole world now, sweetheart,” he husks as he kicks your door closed. “I desire you. I burn for you. I crave you.”

“Baby please,” you whimper, letting your hands travel down and unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt.

“I want you by my side every second of every day,” he confesses softly, as one hand reaches around and unclasps your bra.

“I...I missed you so much, Andy.”

“I missed you too, baby,” he coos and lays you down, looking you over as he pulls off your bra. “You’re so perfect, sweetheart.”

“You think so, baby?” you moan as you unbutton the rest of his shirt, gripping him tighter with your legs as he takes it off.

“Mhm, I think you were made just for me,” he husks as he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. “I think you’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever known and most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Then show me, Andy. Take your time and show me,” you beg, unzipping your skirt, right before he pulls it and your panties down.

“I’ll take all night if I have to.”

He dips down and kisses you gently, but there’s an urgency to it, and you instantly know he understands. He knows that this isn’t just about sex; it’s about intimacy and vulnerability. It’s about understanding and honesty.

It’s about trust and love.

“Fuck,” you softly sigh as he thrusts himself inside of you, “I missed you.”

“Finally fucking home, baby,” he groans as he moves slowly and deeper within you.

You cup his face and keep his focus on you, softly stroking the side of it as you try and hold on for the ride. He keeps hitting that spot in you that makes you feel everything all at once, but you’re not ready to reach that euphoric moment. Yeah, it’s only been a week, but Andy was right: you finally feel like you’re home.

“You don’t think I’ve been thinking about you all week? You don’t think I’ve wanted anything more than to be with you?”

“Andy...baby, I just...I needed you here!”

“We’ll be together soon, my love,” he coos as he starts to pick up his pace, “why are you denying me what I want?”

“Want...wanna make it last,” you whine as you arch your back a little, trying to feel as much of him as possible.

“We’ve got all night, baby. Please...give it to me,” he begs earnestly as he rests his head in the crook of your neck. “Let me feel you, I’ve needed it all fucking week!”

“Oh God!”

“I want every part of you, every day, forever, baby!”

“Andy...oh God, Andy YES!” you whimper as you claw at his back. “I can’t...fuck, I can’t...fuck!” you sob as you clench around him.

“The way you squeeze me...honey, you are so perfect!”

“Shit!” you cry out, squirting hard on his cock as you grip him tight.

“So fucking good for me,” he husks as his seed spills into you.

You both stay that way for a moment; lost in each other’s embrace, no sound except each other’s labored breathing, and taking each other in.

This is what you needed. You needed him, his love, and his touch. Sure, you’ve only had his embrace only once before, but all it takes is once. Andy makes you feel everything at once, and it’s something you’ll always need and never tire of. When he loves you like this, kisses you endlessly, and holds you close, you know exactly why you’ll never be able to give him up.

Why you’ll never want to.

“I love you,” he breathes after a moment. “I love you so much, Y/N, and I’m all in. I’m all in for as long as you want me.”

“What if I want you forever?”

“Then I’m in this forever. You��re not gonna scare me off, Laurie isn’t going to scare me into staying, the town can go to hell...I love you. I’m madly in love with you, and nothing’s ever going to change that.”

“Show me.”

“Like I said, baby; we’ve got all night.”

You and Andy spend the next few hours tangled up in your sheets, and getting lost in one another. He doesn’t even bother to answer his phone as it constantly goes off; determined to show you just how in love and dedicated he is to you. Every kiss awakens something in you, every touch sets your skin alight, and every thrust is filled with passion.

Andy is yours just as much you’re his, and no matter how messy things may get, that’s never going to change.

When the both of you finally tire each other out, you both lay back on your bed, and Andy holds you close while you lay your head on his chest.

“You have to go back tonight?” you ask as you make little circles on his chest.

“Unfortunately,” he sighs before kissing the top of your head, “but I promise tomorrow will make you extremely happy.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because that’ll ruin the shocked look on your face tomorrow, and I’ve dreaming of seeing it,” he chuckles and you smile to yourself. “We should order dinner.”

“More like we should make dinner.”

“It can’t be that late.”

“Babe, look at my alarm clock. It’s 9:30,” you laugh and Andy chuckles before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

“Guess I got carried away, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” you giggle, “what do you wanna eat?”

“Well, I already had my favorite meal-”

“Andy!” you laugh as you playfully hit his chest.

“So, I’m fine with whatever.”

“Freezer food okay? I haven’t gone grocery shopping yet.”

“Is it stupid that I’m excited about going grocery shopping with you?”

“Why is that something you’re excited about?” you laugh.

“I don’t even know. It feels so normal? I want every experience with you, because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Something as mundane as grocery shopping feels like it would be an adventure with you,” he chuckles. “Maybe I’m just crazy-”

“Andrew Stephen Barber, I am so in love with you. I can’t wait to do everything with you too,” you smile up at him.

“Lets eat something,” he smirks before dipping down and kissing you passionately.

This man is gonna be the death of you. Andy pulls on his boxer briefs as you pull on the AC/DC crew neck he got you, and you both make your way into the kitchen.

“Okay, I have lasagna, hot pockets, anytizers-”

“What do you want?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you as he presses soft kisses along the column of your neck.

“It’s really hard to think when you kiss me like that,” you moan as you lull your head back.

“I’m sure my good girl can think of something,” he presses before lightly licking the side of your neck with the tip of his tongue.

“Daddy...please,” you whimper, getting all worked up again. “We’ve gotta eat.”

“I know what I wanna eat, baby, and it’s nothing that’s in your freezer,” he husks as he hoists you up and places you on the counter top, quickly getting on his knees.

“Daddy-”

“Let daddy enjoy his favorite meal,” he smirks up at you before pushing the bottom of your crew neck up and licking your clit.

“Daddy, we have to...shit, just like that,” you whimper as grip his hair tight, the feeling of his tongue fucking you while he massages your clit with his thumb driving you insane. “You eat my pussy so good, daddy.”

“My perfect, desperate little girl,” he murmurs before sucking on your clit and sliding two fingers into your weeping cunt.

“Oh...daddy,” you moan as you lull your head back against one of your kitchen cabinets.

Needless to say, you two end up back in bed.

Andy loves you until you’re barely able to stand, telling you just how much he loves you and can’t wait to be with you like he really wants to. As he holds close while you drift off, there’s only one thought that runs through your mind:

Andrew Stephen Barber will never stop being the love of your life.

Andy’s P.O.V

“You’re home late,” Laurie mutters with a slight slur as I make my way into the house.

“This isn’t my home anymore, Laurie,” I sigh, taking off my suit jacket and heading to the kitchen.

“You reek of sex.”

“That’s because I just had sex, Laurie.”

“So, you’re cheating now?”

“Cheating would imply that we have some sort of a functioning marriage, which we don’t,” I scowl as pull a package of bread out of the cabinet.

“So, who is it? Who are you so in love with that you don’t want to try anymore? Is it her?” she asks, folding her arms across her chest, losing her balance a little.

“Her who?”

“Andy, don’t be an asshole. Y/N.”

I want to say yes so fucking bad, but I can’t do that to you. I won’t say anything until you’re ready.

“What is your obsession with her?” I scoff, taking ham and cheese out of the fridge.

“You seem to be in love with her, and Jacob is in love with her-”

“I barely know her and Jacob’s in love with Sarah.”

“Well, who is it?”

“Why on earth would I tell you that? So you can go and harass her?”

“Andy, you used to-”

“Laurie, you cheated on me twice, you treat Jacob like shit-”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, alright,” I scoff, putting my sandwich together, wishing I had taken you up on your lasagna offer.

“She’s so fucking great, but she can’t feed you?”

I open my mouth to tell her that my favorite meal today was that perfect little pussy between your legs, but stop short and just scoff and shake my head instead.

‘That’ll be taking it too far, Andy,’ I think to myself.

“I’ve had a long day and I don’t feel like arguing with you, Laurie. That and you’re drunk, so there’s really no point. I’m going to sleep.”

“When are you telling, Jacob, huh? When are you going to tell him that you’re moving out? That you’re fine with breaking up our family?”

“Laurie, you broke up this family when you purposely drove your truck into a wall, trying to kill our son, and when you spread your legs for my best friend.”

“You know that accident was just that! An accident!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to get through the day. Listen, I told you, you can paint me as the bad guy to everyone, you can keep everything, I don’t care. All I want is for you to sign the damn papers. There’s no sense in arguing about this anymore, I’m done. I’ve moved on and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. If you ever truly loved me, if you claim to love me now, then please just sign the damn papers,” I practically beg, feeling a little pain at the tears welling up in her eyes.

I don’t know how else to get through to her.

“Andy, whoever this new woman is that you’re in love with...it’s not going to work out. She’s just gonna hurt you.”

“You say that like you haven’t a thousand times already.”

“I didn’t get it before and I’m sorry. I made mistakes and I know I hurt you, but I can do better now. I will do better!”

“Laurie-”

“Andy please,” she sobs, slowly making her way over to me, “let me show you how much I’ve changed. Give me a month-”

“Laurie, please don’t make this harder than it already is. I just don’t want this anymore...I don’t want you. I don’t want to hurt you, but I just can’t do this anymore. Please, just let this-”

“You loved me before, I know you can love me again,” she whispers before standing on her tiptoes and kissing me.

Nothing. I feel absolutely nothing. It breaks my heart, because there once was a time when I lived for her kisses, but now? Now, nothing. If I’m being honest, I’m almost repulsed. She’s not the woman I fell in love with, but to be fair, I’m not the man she fell in love with.

I’m not sure if I ever really was.

“Sleep in our room tonight, please,” she pleads softly as she takes a step back.

“I’ll be in the spare room downstairs,” I sigh, looking away as her tears start to fall, “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up. I’m moving the last bit of my stuff, and I’ll do my best not to wake you.”

“Andy, please-”

“Goodnight Laurie.”

I quickly make my way downstairs, throwing out the sandwich I made, no longer having an appetite, before getting undressed and stepping into the shower.

This isn’t how I wanted any of this to go, but I don’t know why I expected any of this to go easy. Once Laurie sinks her claws in and sets her sights on something, she doesn’t give up easily. Still, this shouldn’t be the shit show that it is. It shouldn’t be this hard to get some damn closure and just move on. Laurie and I have run our course and I’m so damn tired of this shit.

Tonight with you? It was perfect, but fuck if I don’t hate myself for making you question everything. Question me. I never wanted to be a person in your life that makes you question whether or not love is real, or if it actually even matters. How could I say something that made you feel so horrible less than 24 hours after you completely gave yourself to me? After you told me you trust me completely?

I want everything and every day with you, forever.

If Jacob end up hating me, then so be it. If Laurie rains down all hell fire on my head, then I’ll just deal with it. Nothing and no one is gonna stop me from being with you. Grocery shopping, picking out furniture for our home, taking trips, coming home to you daily...all of these things and more make my heart burst with excitement and pure love.

It’s not lost on me that people are going to see me with you and think that I’m obsessed with someone who’s younger than me, and I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t boost my ego a bit, but it’s so much more than that. You are the most selfless and thoughtful person I’ve ever known. The way you would stick up for Jacob in high school to the point that you would get into fist fights, you would go out of your way to make sure he always felt included, the fact that you got a job to help out with the bills even though it wasn’t on you to fix the damage your father had done, how you took care of your mother after your father abandoned the both of you...

Even now, you’re just taking all of this in stride. Keeping secrets you shouldn’t have to, being so much nicer to Laurie than you should be, keeping Jacob’s feelings in mind, being patient with me while I figure all of this out...you’re so fucking gracious, sweet, and thoughtful. It honestly infuriates me that everyone else just constantly lets you down, over some shit you didn’t even do.

I refuse to be another person that hurts you. I’m gonna stick by you and I’m not leaving your side, come hell or high water, I will be with you and we’ll make it work.

Y/N’s P.O.V

You don’t make much of a fuss about getting out of bed, since you’re a bit sore from your long night with Andy. You’d hoped he’d be good in bed, but you didn’t think he’d be that amazing in bed.

It’s not like you have any complaints. Andy can do whatever he wants to you, and in the end, all you’ll do is thank him and beg for more. No, it’s not necessarily a healthy concept, but there’s comfort in knowing that Andy feels the same way you do. Somehow, the second time around was better than the first.

Probably because you two were both sober this time.

As you roll around in bed, trying to decide if you have the energy to actually start your day, your mind plays over everything Andy said last night; both when he was inside of you and when he wasn’t.

It’s hard not to give into the fear of it all, but how can you not trust him? The way he looks at you, the way he holds you, the way he smiles at you, the way he loves you...it’s all so damn genuine, you know that he means it. He’s not telling you what you want to hear so he can keep getting access to your pussy; it’s obvious that he means every word.

You just have to find the strength to believe everything he’s saying is true.

You’re finally ready to get out of bed when your phone buzzes. The smile that comes to your face almost hurts when you see that it’s Andy. However, you’re completely confused when you open it and see that hes sent you an address.

Y/N: Huh?

My Heart: Meet me here as fast as you can, and bring clothes for the weekend.

Y/N: What’s going on?

My Heart: You’ll see when you get here, so don’t take too long. I love you and I’ll see you soon.

Well, now you’re wide awake and full of energy.

You quickly get out of bed and make your way to your shower, doing your best to ignore all of the anxiety that you feel. They’re not exactly bats in your stomach, but they sure as shit aren’t butterflies. By the time you’re dressed and ready to go , you feel like you’re gonna lose your mind.

Just an address? What the hell does that mean? Yeah, hes talked about you two moving in together all the time, but so soon? When Laurie hasn’t even signed the papers yet?

That’s another thing; how the hell is going to get to her to sign the papers? He’s entirely too kind to actually pressure her into signing the papers, but he’s also fed up with everything. What the hell does he have up his sleeve?

When you finally reach the destination, you’re in pure shock and awe.

What the hell?

“Andy...what is this?” you question as you get out of the car.

“I’ve officially moved out,” he smiles as he wraps his arms around you and dips down to kiss you.

“Someone could see,” you smile sheepishly as you turn your head away from him.

“Who cares?”

“Andy-”

“I told you that I told her I’m in love with someone else, and when she told me I reeked of sex last night, I told her it was because I had sex. I’m not hiding anything from her, because I truly don’t care. No, I haven’t told her that I’m with you, but the second you give me the okay, I’m telling her. I love you, Y/N. I want this. I want us.”

“Andy...,” you start to tear “is this house...?”

“It’s a condo I got for me, but when you’re ready, I would love for it to be ours. There’s no pressure, and we’ll take this at whatever pace you want, but I’m all in,\. I know they’re things you need to figure out on your end, and I’m perfectly fine waiting while you figure it out-”

“How will we tell Jacob?” you interrupt, trying to suppress every emotion you’re feeling as you keep looking over the gorgeous house.

“I was thinking we’d talk about that today,” he smiles at you.

“Is Laurie any closer to signing the papers?”

“I can tell that she’s starting to realize that I’m serious.”

“Andy...are you sure-”

“I love you and I’ve never been more sure of anything. If you don’t want this, I’ll completely understand and I won’t be mad in the slightest, but if you really do want to do this-”

“I know I can’t move in right away, but I’d like to keep some of my stuff here. I’d like to have...I’d like to have my own key,” you almost whisper, trying to convince yourself that all of this actually happening.

“You’re in luck,” he chuckles as he takes a key out from his pocket, “I already had one made for you. This is your home too, sweetheart.”

“Andy-”

“I genuinely want everything with you. I love you, Y/N. I love you, I love you, I love you. I will say it every day until you believe it.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe it, Andy, it’s just...this is a lot...it’s everything. I love you so much and I just don’t want to get myself all wrapped up in someone who isn’t-”

“Honey, this is as real as it gets. I love you and want forever with you. That’s never going to change. The moment I laid eyes on you, I was already thinking of ways to see you again. Then, when I helped you move in, seeing just how thoughtful and kind you are...I’ve been in love with you ever since. I know that this is moving kind of fast, but if only you could understand just how deeply and how much I love you...my heart rate speeds up whenever I see you, your smile alone is enough to calm me down and make me come alive at the same time, and your laugh...honey, I could listen to you laugh and talk all day and still want more. I love you, Y/N. I’m madly and truly in love with you,” he finishes with a warm smile as he wipes your tears away.

You don’t know what to say. How can all of this be real? How can he choose you so easily? How is he choosing you at all? And how the hell is he so calm about all of this?

Are you sure you’re awake? Is this actually real?

“This is really happening, it’s not all in your head or some dream,” he chuckles softly as he practically reads your mind.

“Can we go inside and take a look around?” you sniffle after a moment, wiping your eyes.

“Anything you want, honey.”

You don’t mean to gasp when you go inside, but the place is gorgeous and spacious.

How much money does Andy have exactly?

“Now, I had to get some furniture, I didn’t want you coming home to a completely empty house. I figured we’d go shopping for the rest of it together. Out of town, so you don’t have to worry about being seen. I figured we could go tomorrow.”

“Andy, this is gorgeous!”

“Yeah, you really like it?”

“I love it!” you beam, turning around wrapping your arms around him tight. “Give me the full tour,” you smile up at him.

Andy is more than happy to show you around, very clearly excited and happy that you didn’t go running off in the other direction. It all seems so unreal, especially when he shows you the little art studio he set up for you.

“Andy-”

“You told me that you loved to paint when you were younger, but had to stop between work and school. I’m obviously not going to push you, but I want you to feel free to start again. Maybe you’ll fall back in love with it, and if you don’t, this will still be your space to do whatever you want in.”

“You didn’t have to do this for me, Andy. Any of it. I just...how can you love me this much?”

“How can I not love you this much?” he chuckles as he wraps an arm around your waist. “Come on, there’s still the upstairs.”

“Somehow I forgot all about the upstairs,” you laugh along with Andy.

“So,” Andy starts as you both start up the stairs, “there are three bedrooms. I’ve started setting up what I think you’ll want to be our room, but just tell me-”

“Say that again,” you smile up at him once you two reach the top step.

“Hmm? Say what?”

“Our room.”

Andy smiles down at you before cupping your face and giving a soul stirring kiss, “our room,”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

As he shows you each room and leads you down the hallway, you can’t help but wonder why he got a place with three rooms. Yeah, a two bedroom would make sense, a spare room form Jake and Sarah if they ever sleep over, but why three?

“And this is ours,” he smiles at you as he pushes the door open.

It’s amazing how well Andy knows you.

“I know the furniture is a little bland and we can get something else, if you want. There’s a 30 day warranty on everything,” he laughs softly. “I know you prefer then left side, so I set up all my stuff on the right. If you want, I’ll-”

You cut him off by crashing your lips into his and pulling him impossibly closer to you. “You are incredible,” you breathe once you two break apart. “You are so incredible and I am so in love with you.”

“You’re happy?”

“I’m so far past happy, daddy,” you whisper before you start to kiss down his body, “you did really good.”

“Sweetheart, we don’t have to-”

“But I want to, daddy. I really want to,” you plead as you look up at him with your most innocent eyes.

He tries to hide it, but you can see lust and desire in his eyes, and you know he’s about to give you what you want. “Get on the bed,” he demands with a low growl.

“But daddy-”

“You always wanna argue with daddy, and we have to put a stop to that,” he scowls before gripping your hair roughly, “I think that’s exactly what we’re gonna do now.”

“I’m so sorry, daddy,” you whimper, getting more and more desperate for him by the second.

“Oh, you will be, now strip and get on the bed. Don’t make me tell you again.”

And just like that, you’re up on your feet and undressing yourself. Soon enough, you’re naked and in the middle of the bed, waiting for instruction as Andy looks you over.

“Such a gorgeous little girl, but such a dumb little slut. Open those pretty little legs and start playing with your clit.”

All you can do is whine like the bitch in heat that you are as you follow his instructions, trying to hold his burning gaze.

“Daddy,” you moan, closing your eyes and lulling your head back, fighting off a release he hasn’t given you permission for.

“Eyes on me,” he demands hotly, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans.

When you focus your attention back on him, he’s stroking his angry red cock that’s leaking with pre-cum. “Daddy, please let me-”

“You don’t cum until I say so, little slut. You understand me?”

“Please-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, really such a dumb little girl,” he smirks mischievously, “and to think, I was about to eat that perfect little cunt of yours.”

“Daddy please!”

“Guess I’m just gonna teach you how to obey,” he sighs before taking off his shirt and stepping out of his jeans. “What has daddy told you about begging?”

“No-not to,” you breathe, still trying to hold his intense gaze as you watch him take a seat on the edge of the bed.

“So, why do you keep being a whiny little brat?”

“Just want you so...so bad all the time.”

“Is that so? Well, come and sit on daddy’s lap. We’re gonna have a little talk about why you should be a good little girl,” he coaxes, starting to stroke himself again.

You’re quick to make your way over to him, ready to straddle him, before he stops you.

“You’re gonna face that mirror, so you can see how much better it is when you’re a good girl.”

“Daddy-”

“You’re just making it harder for yourself. Now, face the mirror, and take daddy’s cock until you learn how to behave.”

How the hell are you supposed to last? You have no idea.

“Oh God, daddy,” you moan as you slide yourself down on his cock, lulling your head back at the way he still pulls you apart.

“Look at yourself in the mirror, sweet girl,” he coos against your neck, licking it lightly.

“Daddy!”

“I said look!” he snaps before slapping your clit.

“Fuck!” you cry out, looking straight ahead as you start to bounce up and down on his cock.

“That’s a good girl,” he smirks against your neck, “see how your greedy little cunt takes my cock so well?”

All you can do is nod.

“You know daddy doesn’t like it when you don’t use your words,” he scolds before slapping your clit again.

“Fuck daddy! I’m...I-I’m sorry!”

“Now, I’ll ask you again,” he husks as you pick up your pace, “do you see how well your greedy little cunt takes my fat cock so well?”

“Y-yes daddy!”

“All I wanna do is spoil you and make you feel so fucking good,” he groans in a condescending tone, “but you just love to act up. Doesn’t it feel so much better when I don’t have to punish you?”

“Everything you do feels amazing, daddy,” you sob as he starts to massage your tits, pinching your nipples hard.

“Oh, so that’s what it is? My little girl just needs to be treated like a little fucking slut?”

“Daddy please!” you whine, clenching around him, knowing you won’t be able to hold off your release much longer.

“That’s not being a good girl,” he sighs against your neck, slapping your clit again, causing you to yelp; you try and close your legs. “If daddy lets you cum, you’ve gotta watch yourself the whole time. Watch how beautiful you look when you explode for me. You understand?”

“Anything you want! Just please!” you whine, knowing you sound pathetic, but you’re so far beyond blissed out that you don’t fucking care.

“So fucking needy,” he laughs as he starts to massage your clit with two of his fingers, “alright, be a good little whore and cum for daddy.”

In no time at all, you’re screaming out in pleasure, squirting all over his cock and the floor, not feeling an ounce of shame as you see how wrecked you are. Andy’s grip tightens on you, and you’re sure he’s about to cum until he stills you.

“Sweet girl, you made a mess all over my cock,” he chides as you clench around him, knowing he’s going to be just as mean about cleanup.

“I didn’t...I didn’t mean to,” you breathe, trying to come down from your high.

“But you did, and what do good girls do when they make a mess?”

“Clean it up, daddy.”

“Exactly.Get on your knees and clean daddy’s cock.”

“Please-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, there you go again,” he sighs, slapping your clit again.

He’s going to fucking ruin you.

You slowly stand up, your legs still unstable, but you’re quick to get on your knees in the little puddle you created. A whimper escapes your lips at the sight of Andy’s cock in front of you, happy to finally be able to take it into your mouth. You lick it softly and moan in satisfaction at the taste of yourself on him.

“Take it, sweet girl,” he husks, gripping your hair as he bucks his hips slightly, “take every fucking inch of it.”

You’re quick to get your mouth on him, desperate to make him feel an ounce of the pleasure he’s made you feel. You soon find that just because you’re eager to do something doesn’t mean it’ll get done.

“C’mon sweet girl, I know can take all of it. Relax your throat for me,” he coos, guiding your head down.

It’s not like it hadn’t dawned on you until now that Andy’s cock is the biggest you’ve ever experienced, but you’re still annoyed with yourself for not prepping for it.

“That’s it...fuck, that’s it! Such a good girl,” he groans as you take him more and more.

You both moan in satisfaction when he finally reaches the back of your throat. He starts guiding you slowly, but the second you start whimpering, he’s rough, picking up the pace.

“Fuck, you’re such a good little whore, baby,” he grunts, his grip white knuckling, “wish you could see how well you’re taking daddy’s cock. Fuck!”

When you start gagging, he pulls you off and you whine in protest.

“What did daddy say about being a whiny little brat?”

“I wanna taste you so bad.”

“Another time, sweet girl. For now, get on the bed and on your hands and knees.”

Once again, it takes you a moment to get yourself together, completely blissed out, but determined not to throw in the towel in until he does.

The bed shifts behind you almost instantly, and you whimper when you feel one of Andy’s hands smooth over your ass cheek.

“Daddy!” you scream out when he smacks it hard.

“Are gonna start behaving?”

“Mhm!”

“Use your words!” he reprimands, slapping your ass harder.

“I’ll be such a good girl, daddy! I promise!” you cry out.

“That’s what I wanna hear,” he praises.

You prepare yourself to feel him thrust inside of you, but are completely caught off guard when you feel his tongue against your folds.

“Holy fuck!”

“Told you, rewards feel so much better than punishments,” he smirks before starting to fuck you with his tongue.

Between the lewd slurping sounds between your legs, and Andy’s groans of approval, you lull your head back and get lost in that blissful state only he can bring you to. You’re right on the edge when Andy replaces his tongue with his fingers, and before you can protest, you feel his tongue licking your asshole, and you arch your back, gripping the sheets to keep yourself upright.

“Y-you make me feel so fucking good! I swear to fuck!”

All Andy does is slap your ass in approval and it makes you clench tighter around his fingers.

Never in a million years did you ever think Andy would or could be this dominant or controlling. The same man who loves late night ice cream drives and is insanely romantic to you: the quiet and shy guy, the loving father. He cuddles you close during movie night while also the same guy who dominates the fuck out of you, making you feel like the dirty little slut you secretly are.

“You ever been fucked in this perfect little hole, sweet girl?” Andy asks, making little circles around your asshole with his finger.

“N-no daddy!”

“At some point this weekend, we should fix that,” he husks before removing his fingers from your weeping cunt, “but for now, I’m gonna use you as my little cum dump.”

“Fuck, please daddy!” you sob as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Are those pretty little tears for me?” he coos condescendingly, reaching down between your legs and rubbing little circles on your overstimulated clit.

“Never felt so fu...so fucking good!”

“Yeah? Show me just how much by cumming for me right now,” he demands with a throaty grunt as his movements become erratic.

“Fu...fu...FUCK!” you shout with a sob, squirting all over all his cock and the bed.

“Sweet girl,” he growls, dipping down and resting his forehead on your back as he coats your inner walls with his seed. “Such a good fucking girl.”

Andy rides out both your highs before letting you down gently and collapsing next to you. He instantly pulls you close, and you cuddle up against him; feeling loved, full, happy, and content.

“Was I too rough with you?” he asks after a moment, softly making little circles on the small of your back.

“No baby,” you all but mumble, trying to stay awake.

“You promise?”

“I swear.”

“I love you so much, honey.”

“You are my world, Andy. I still can’t believe you did all of this for us. It’s so...I’ve never felt so loved or cared for in my life, and I’m trying to accept that all of this is real, it’s just gonna take a bit. I’m so afraid you’re gonna wake up one day and decide I’m not worth all of this and walk away. Everyone always walks away.”

“Honey, I told you I’m all in and I mean that. This isn’t a phase and I’m not looking to fuck around. I’m in love with you, so fucking in love. That’s not changing.”

Now you’re crying for a completely different reason.

“I’m so happy, Andy. Thank you.”

“Get some rest, sweetheart.”

As you drift off to sleep, feeling safe and secure in Andy’s arms, you slowly feel your fears and insecurities fall away.

Maybe this all can work out.

**

When you wake up, the sun is setting, the TV is on, and you’re alone in bed. You grab your phone, (ignoring all of your notifications) and see that it’s 5:30.

You would sleep the day away.

You’re slow to get out of bed and make your way over to his drawers, quickly grabbing one of his sweaters since your clothes are still in the car. A smile comes to your as the memories of what took place earlier play in your head.

It wasn’t a dream.

You quietly make your way down the steps, listening for Andy, but when you hear him the backyard, your smile quickly fades.

“Laurie, I’m not having this talk when you’re drunk...Jacob took Sarah away this weekend and when he comes back, he’s moving out. You know that’s why I did it this way...he’s not going to notice anything, he’ll be too busy taking out all of his packed boxes...I��ll tell him when I finish helping him and Sarah move into their new place....I would imagine Y/N is gonna be there, she is their best friend...don’t start that shit again....I’ll tell him about her when we’re both ready...well, we wouldn’t still be married if you’d sign the damn papers, now would we?...God, don’t start with the tears...listen, I’m gonna go. Please don’t call me again, unless it’s to tell me you’ve signed the papers,” he finishes with a frustrated sigh before hanging up and tossing his phone down and taking a seat on one of the lawn chairs.

“I’m guessing she’s not taking the move well,” you practically whisper.

“Hey,” he smiles at you, but his eyes show just how frustrated he is.

“Andy-”

“Don’t start, honey. Come here.”

You slowly walk over to him and pulls you down into his lap and holds you close.

“Do not worry about Laurie, I can handle her.”

“You wouldn’t have to if I hadn’t-”

“Stop that, you didn’t do anything.”

“I kissed you.”

“I was in love with you long before that kiss, sweetheart. Besides, I was the one who begged you to let me take you home.”

“Baby-”

“You said it yourself; this is gonna get harder before it gets easier. Laurie can cry and complain all she wants to, it’s not going to change anything.”

“What about Jacob?” you mumble, cuddling up and curling in to him.

“That’s up to you. I told you; you set the pace.”

You’re thoughtful before you speak, “after graduation and the proposal. Those are both really special days, and I know that this will ruin it for him,” you softly sigh.

“Babe, he’s gonna get over it.”

“Will he, Andy? Sarah and Laurie are convinced that he’s in love with me-”

“Because he is.”

“Oh, not you too!”

“You can’t tell me that you don’t see it.”

“I don’t because he’s not!”

Andy just sighs and presses kiss to your forehead, “okay, honey.”

“Besides, if that is true, he’s probably never going to talk to me again.”

“He’ll get over it. Yes, he is going to be upset and overreact, but he’ll get over it. You’re his best friend and, at some point, he’ll get over it.”

“Andy-”

“Listen, if it’s too much for you-”

“It’s not,” you quickly interject, “you’re worth all of this and more. I just...I have to prepare myself.”

“We’re this together, sweetheart,” he promises, pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

“ ‘Roman Holiday’ was on when I got up.”

“I planned that perfectly,” he laughs softly.

“I think I’d like for us to do that one day. Have our own Roman Holiday.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nod as a small smile comes to your face, “I think it would be a lot of fun. Plus, we’ve never actually been away together, obviously. When I have some more money saved up, we should go. Would you like that?”

“Anything I get to do with you is something I’d love.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, sweetheart.”

You two spend the rest of evening cooking dinner, planning when to move some of your stuff in, and deciding what time you both wanted to get up to go and look at furniture.

After almost falling asleep in bed, twice, you both decide it’s time to shower and call it a night. It’s the best shower you’ve ever had with another person, because there was nothing sexual about it. You both washed each other, made each other laugh, and at the end; he just holds you tight and kisses the top of your head.

You never knew love could feel this good.

“You’re not wearing your ring,” you yawn as you two settle under the covers and turn out the lights.

“Why should I?”

“You’re still married.”

“As far as I’m concerned, I’m not. I signed the papers and the only person I’m with is you.”

“Andy, people will notice.”

“Good,” is all he says before wrapping his arm around you and pulling you close. “That way, when they see us together, there won’t be anything to question.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, honey. Goodnight.”

You’re almost asleep when you remember, “babe?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you get a place with three rooms.”

“Oh,” he comments softly and you feel him stiffen a little. “Well, ya know, for when Jacob and Sarah sleepover.”

“You’re gonna make them sleep in separate rooms?”

“Well, if they want options.”

“What are you not telling me?”

“Just...maybe one day...if you wanted to have a kid or kids with me...we have the space,” he confesses sheepishly.

You turn over in his hold, wide eyed and in complete disbelief, “what?”

“You obviously don’t need to think about it now, or even at all, it was just...just in case it is something you want.”

“You want a family with me?”

“I keep telling you that I want everything with you.”

“Even kids?”

“Marriage, kids, sharing an AARP membership,” he laughs, “all of it.”

“If we have kids, you’ll be like Atticus Finch.”

“Only in the sense that I’ll be an old lawyer. We won’t be poor and their mother won’t be dead.”

“That’s a good way to look at it,” you laugh.

“We’ll talk about it more in the morning. I love you, Y/N,” he smirks before kissing your forehead.

“I love you too, Atticus.”

As you drift into dream land, secure in Andy’s hold, you’re finally certain of at least one thing; this isn’t made up at all.

**

Its been a constant roller coaster for you and Andy in the following months after he first shows you the condo he got for you both. After helping Jacob and Sarah move into their new place, Andy told him that he had moved out while he was away, and of course Jacob wanted to go and see it instantly.

“Have you seen the my dad’s new place?” Jacob asks you two sit in your apartment two weeks later.

“Why would I have seen it?” you scoffed before you took a sip of your whiskey neat, trying to burn away the guilt.

“I don’t know, I figured he might’ve asked you for help or something. The place has an essence of you,” he chuckled.

“What does that even mean?”

“Like...some of the sheets in the bedroom, some of the kitchenware, the pillows...hell, even some of the paintings he got. I don’t know, it feels very you,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

All of the things you picked out.

“He seems happier though. Maybe this is just what they needed, time apart.”

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know...maybe there’s a chance they’ll get back together.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, doesn’t every kid want their parents to work out their shit out?”

“Not when they’re toxic.”

“I don’t know, I guess with us going to look for rings soon, I’m looking for something to believe in. Believe that love lasts and that its real.”

“Stop it. You and Sarah are different.”

“How would you know?”

“I just do. Besides, maybe the person your father finds next will be the one.”

“I don’t wanna think about that,” Jacob scowled and it only made you feel worse.

“So, when are you gonna propose?” you asked before you downed the rest of your drink, trying to think of anything to make yourself feel a little less worse.

“December.”

“W-why December?”

“One, I just feel crazy right now. Graduation, the new job, adjusting to living with Sarah and paying bills, and all this shit with my parents...it’ll just be too much at once, ya know? Second, I think she’ll really love it if I propose to her at the ‘Festival of Lights’. It’s already the number one thing she looks forward to all year long, so why not propose then?”

“That’s a good point,” you muttered before you downed the rest of your drink.

Jacob spent the next few hours telling you about how torn he is about his parents, how he’s not sure how he’ll handle his parents moving on and his family splitting up, and how he wishes things were like they were before Ben’s murder.

It also didn’t help that Laurie still hadn’t signed the fucking papers.

“Sweetheart, when are you coming home?” Andy asked once you finally answered his call.

“I’m not coming over tonight,” you sobbed, curled up underneath your favorite blanket.

“What’s wrong, baby? What happened?”

“He’s gonna hate me, Andy, He’s never gonna talk to me again,” you cried.

“I’m on my way, sweetheart,” is all he said before hanging up.

Andy was at your place in 10 minutes.

“Sweetheart?” Andy called out, once he entered using the key you had made for him.

“In here,” you croaked out, not even bothering to move.

“Oh honey,” Andy cooed once he made his way into your bedroom. “Do you wanna talk about it?

All you could do was shake your head ‘no’ as you sniffled.

“Then we won’t talk about it,” he agreed as he kicked off his shoes before getting into bed with you, “I’ll just hold you until you feel better,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around you kissed your forehead.

In moments like those, you were more than happy that you had Andy in your life. He gave you your space, he let you feel what you needed to feel, he never pressured you into telling him what the issue was, and whenever you were ready to tell him, he was patient and understanding.

However, it doesn’t go without saying that you two had your fair share of arguments about the situation you found yourself in.

“Why are you mad at me?!” Andy snapped as the two you got ready for bed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Andy.”

“Y/N-”

“I just had to stand there like a fucking idiot while you all took family pictures!”

“It was his graduation!”

“I should’ve just stayed home.”

“Stop it, Y/N.”

“Don’t you dare catch an attitude with me, Barber! You’re not in my position! You don’t know how this feels!”

“She’s his mother! What do you want me to do?!”

“I’m sleeping in the other room.”

“Can we please work this out? Don’t go to bed angry.”

“Andy, I’m tired and-”

“What do you want me to do? You’ve heard the phone calls, I’ve offered her everything and she still won’t sign the papers. I’ve threatened legal action and she still won’t sign the papers. You want us to go to her right now and tell her about us? Lets go. You wanna call Jacob right now? We can. I love you. I want to be with you. I am with you!”

In that moment, you felt embarrassingly small.

“Can we just get away?” you questioned as you covered your face with your hands. “Lets just go on a trip. It doesn’t have to be some big to-do, but lets just get the fuck out of here for a while. I feel like I’m split in two and since Jacob is dead set on a December proposal, the feeling isn’t going to go away any time soon.”

“We’ll go away soon, sweetheart. I promise,” he sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Please sleep in here tonight.”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Baby-”

“I’m just...I’m just tired, Andy. Lets just go to bed,” you muttered as you got into bed.

Andy sighed heavily in response before he got into bed and pulled you close.

“I love you, sweetheart. You set the pace for all of this. I just want to be with you. Only you,” he whispered before he kissed the back of your neck.

It’s very rare that you ever find yourself truly angry with Andy. No, he’s not perfect, but he does his best to be perfect for you. Overall, you both are extremely happy, even with things as fucked up as they are.

Your anger is mainly fueled by your frustration. You know that if you leave it up to Andy, he’ll tell everyone everything in an instant.

However, you’re about to railroad Jacob’s whole life, and he deserves better than you fucking up his ideal proposal. Which is why, when he wanted you to spend your birthday with him and Sarah, you didn’t put up a fuss. You spent your morning and afternoon with them, and you spent your night with Andy; him taking you out to dinner and you finishing the night bouncing up and down on his cock.

When Jacob wanted you to go over to his place to hangout, you went without fuss or complaint. When it came to your home with Andy, you accepted with grace that you couldn’t have pictures of the two of you up, just because Jacob liked to frequent his dad’s place. You constantly talk yourself into accepting how things are, because after Christmas, things are about to change drastically.

“Laurie, what do you want me to do? If Jacob wants her at the propsal, he wants her at the proposal,” Andy sighs, plopping down on the sofa next to you, and wrapping an arm around you. “They’re best friends, Laurie. If you’re gonna be this crazy about it, talk to Jacob. This isn’t my proposal...alright, I’m not getting into this, I’m going. Bye,” he snaps before hanging up. “She won’t be my wife forever, she won’t be my wife forever,” he mutters to himself as he pulls you close.

“I can say that I’m sick and not show up-”

“No,” he instantly cuts you off, “you’re going to be there and she’s going to deal with it. She doesn’t even know we’re together, so it’s just her being paranoid.”

“I don’t want her to keep giving you a hard time.”

“She’s hellbent on always giving me a hard time. Don’t worry about it.”

“Andy-”

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” he repeats in a firmer yet gentle tone.

You sigh before straddling him, “how can I make you feel better?”

“It’s not fair when you ask that question and you’re in this position,” he whines.

You dip down and whisper seductively in his ear, “you know I’m yours to use however you want, daddy.”

“Y/N,” he growls, gripping hips tight.

“Take what’s yours, daddy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him.

“Sweet girl,” he husks.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to sit on my face, sweet girl. Ride my face until I’m drowning in cum from that sweet pussy.”

“Oh daddy,” you whimper, picking up your pace.

“Then, I’m gonna abuse both your holes because daddy needs to relieve some stress.”

“I’ve missed having you in my ass, daddy!”

“Yeah, well get ready for a long-”

“Dad!” Jacob calls from the other side of the door, knocking a little aggressively.

“Fuck,” Andy breathes into the crook of your neck.

“I’ll make myself scarce-”

“No no, I’ll think of something to tell him by the time I’m at the front door. Fuck, we’re picking this up the second he leaves.”

“I’m betting on it,” you giggle softly.

You moan as you get off of him, the friction of your panties rubbing against your now extremely sensitive clit only making you more desperate, and Andy’s quick to give you that look.

“I know, daddy: I can’t cum until you say so.”

“There’s a good girl,” he smirks at you before getting up, readjusting his pants, and slowly making his way to the front door.

You quickly turn on the TV (happy that it’s Turner Classic Movies) before heading into the kitchen and making drinks for you and Andy.

“Hey bud, what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you,” Jacob mutters, pushing right past Andy. “Should I propose-”

“Hey Jake,” you smile, popping out from the kitchen and holding a glass out to Andy, which he happily takes.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had a few legal questions for Andy about my parents, because they’ve been driving me crazy. The more I talked about it, the more I got upset, so we turned on Turner Classic Movies, and I just made us some drinks. I figured we’d dive back in soon.”

“You could’ve just come to me, ya know.”

“Are you a lawyer?”

“Don’t be an asshole-”

“Jacob!” Andy snaps.

“You know what I mean,” he rolls his eyes, “you could’ve talked to me.”

“You’ve been so stressed lately, I didn’t want to add on anymore.”

“I wouldn’t have-”

“Yes, you would have. Whenever I bring up how upset my parents make me, you get pissed off and worked up.”

“You don’t tell me anything anymore!”

“It’s one thing, Jake.”

“Whatever.”

“Jake, you didn’t come here to argue with me, I’ll go-”

“We’ll go into my office, you sit down and calm down,” Andy tells you softly.

You want to say something, but you know there’s no use. As Andy leads Jacob to his office, you resume your seat on the sofa and do your best to focus on the movie on the screen, but now you’re irritated.

For the last few months, when you tell either Sarah or Andy something before you tell him, he catches an attitude. The only thing that you’ve purposely kept a secret from him is your relationship with Andy, and it’s obvious why. Hell, he was pissy with you for being secretive about his birthday until the actual surprise. Even then, he gave you a half-ass apology. You don’t know when he started getting so selfish with you, but you’re really growing tired of it.

Until he starts hating you for being with Andy, Jacob is still your best friend, and you’ve done your best to show him that. By the time both men come out of the office, you can tell that Jacob is more at ease, but it’s also clear (to you at least) that Andy is trying his best to hide his frustration.

“Y/N, you’re gonna be there tomorrow, right?” Jacob asks, standing in the doorway.

“Are you done being a dick?”

“You know I’m sorry-”

“That would be something hard to know since you never fucking said it.”

“I really am sorry, Y/N. I don’t know whats gotten into me lately, but I don’t mean any of it. I’m just frustrated and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Jake. Just don’t make a habit of taking your anger out on me, please. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you smile softly.

Jacob just nods before practically running out.

“He should be wearing a jacket,” you mutter as Andy closes the door.

You’re about to ask him what’s going on, when he suddenly throws you over his shoulder, “unbutton your jeans,” is all he said as he starts on his way up the stairs.

Maybe you won’t make it tomorrow.

“Take them off,” he demands, tossing you down on the bed before taking off his shirt and undoing his pants, “and take your fucking shirt and bra off too.”

You want to tell him to calm down and ask him what happened, but you’ve never seen him this angry before, and your hormones are winning the battle.

He lays down next and motions for you to come over, “come take a ride on daddy’s face, sweet girl.”

And just like that, you’re doing any and everything he wants.

You were already expecting Andy to be rough with you, but you didn’t think he’d be as rough as he is. It’s not like you mind or that it hurts, in fact you’ll probably ask him to act like this more often, but pleasure aside: something is wrong.

“Come on, sweet girl, give it to me,” he grunts, fucking you hard from behind, pushing you to your limit for the third time.

“Daddy,” you mindlessly moan, clawing at the sheets that you’re more than sure are ruined.

“This cunt is amazing, sweetheart! You’re being such a good little girl for me!” he praises, slapping your ass hard.

“Fuck!”

“There she is! The way this pussy clenches me!”

“Fuck! Daddy!” you cry out, squirting on his cock for what feels like the millionth time, as your body gets lost in another mind-numbing orgasm.

“Good girl,” he grunts, coating your inner walls with his desire.

He hovers for a moment, panting above you before he pulls out, and you think he’s finally spent.

“Get on your back, sweet girl,” he husks, pinning you down.

Alright, what the fuck is going on?

“Andy, baby...wait.”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

“Baby, I’m perfect, but you...you aren’t,” you breathe, trying to get your thoughts together, “what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he mutters before dipping down to kiss you, but you turn your head away just in time. “Sweet girl-”

“No Andy. We can go all night if you want to, just like this, but you gotta talk to me, baby, please. What happened?”

“Please-”

“Andy, this doesn’t work if we don’t talk to each other.”

He lets out an exasperated sigh before collapsing next you on the bed and staring up at the ceiling, “Laurie told Jacob I started seeing someone.”

“I’m sorry, she did what?!”

“He obviously doesn’t know it’s you, but he did have questions about you...us. I obviously lied and he bought it, but it’s only gonna make everything worse in the long run.”

“Did he say anything about it?”

“Well, he wants to meet her,” he scoffs, running one of his frustrated hands through damp his hair, “he’s a little upset because he was holding out hope, but he understands.”

“Do you want to just tell him now?”

“No, because you’re right; him finding out before proposing would ruin everything. Everything is tied into one, sweetheart,” he sighs heavily.

“What are you not telling me, baby?”

“The reason he came over initially...he was having cold feet about proposing to Sarah, because...he figured out that he has feelings for you.”

“Jesus Christ,” you groan into your hands.

You can’t catch a fucking break.

“I asked him if he could see himself having a real future with you if he broke it off with Sarah, and he said no. He said that he isn’t in love, but he didn’t realize just how much he was used to being the only one in your life until he stopped being the only person you spend your time with. He swears it’s just a crush and that he’ll get over it. That’s when he asked if anything was going on between us and I told him that we’re just friends. I know for a fact that this is why Laurie said anything, because she wants her suspicions confirmed. To pull this shit now though? The day before he’s supposed to propose? That’s a fucking low blow, even for her.”

“We’ll just...we’ll deal with it after Christmas, okay baby?”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to-”

“Hey, we are in this together. This is something we both decided to do and I’m all in. Whatever we have to face, we’ll face it together. Good or bad.”

“You know this means we’re gonna have to be even more discreet, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” you sigh, finally turning on your side to look at him, “but it won’t always be like this,” you smile weakly.

Andy raises himself up on his elbow and looks you over, before cupping your face and giving you one of the most passionate kisses hes ever given you, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Ya know, you did say that we can go all night just like we were...”

“We can do whatever you wanna do, daddy,” you smirk as he chuckles before kissing you again.

You both go for another two rounds before deciding that you need it to call it a night. However, neither of you actually goes to sleep. Andy just holds you close while leaning against the headboard, stroking your arm gently, while you lay your head on his chest. Not a word is spoken as you two lookout the window; up at the moon, it’s just a silent understanding that very soon, things are going to become very hectic and chaotic.

**

“Why aren’t you coming to the ‘Festival of Lights’?!” Sarah whines into the phone and you laugh.

“I have some things I need to take care of.”

“You better not be putting Andy before me.”

“I’m not!” you laugh, coming up to a red light, “Christmas is a week away and I’ve got some last minute things to do.”

“Y/N!”

“Listen, it’s not my fault they choose the worst time to do this every year. A lot’s been going on.”

“Is everything okay?”

“I mean, yes and no.”

“Uh oh, what happened? What did the Wicked Witch do now?”

“Don’t worry-”

“No no, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Laurie told Jacob that Andy has started seeing someone.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“To make matters worse,” you start as the light turns green and you pull off, “I was over when Jacob came over last night, and of course he asked Andy about it.”

“Oh no.”

“And of course, Andy lied.”

“Fuck.”

“So, thanks for that, Laurie.”

“Why not just tell him?”

“And ruin his Christmas? No thanks.”

“That’s a fair point. He’s actually so excited this year. Christmas morning with you, lunch with Andy and my parents, then dinner with Laurie. He’s planned the shit out of it,” she laughs softly. “What about you and Andy?”

“He’s coming to get me as soon as you two leave for dinner,” you chuckle.

“Ugh, I’m so happy for you two. You’ve been so much happier these last few months, and the fact that he got a home for you both? Y/N, I’m so damn happy for you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“Oh, I hear footsteps approaching, we’ll talk about this more later, okay?”

“Sounds good,” you smile as you pull up to the town square, “I love you.”

“I love you,” she beams before hanging up.

As you park your car, you see Laurie standing next to Andy, and you mentally prepare yourself not to punch her face in on site.

“Oh thank God you’re here!” Sarah’s mom laughs, as you get out and open your trunk. “You know how everything is supposed to look and Jacob was a nervous wreck when he was here earlier.”

“He wasn’t that bad,” Laurie laughs following behind her.

“Sorry sorry, things ran a little late at work, but I’m here now and we’ve got...2 hours to get this done! We can-”

“Hour and a half,” Andy interjects with a laugh. “Jacob is a little too excited for Christmas this year, so Sarah wants to show up early.”

“Well...shit, okay then,” you laugh awkwardly. “I guess we should get to work.

As everyone gets to work on setting up the “proposal area”, you can’t help but notice how much Laurie is clinging to Andy, and how much Andy is trying to keep his distance. The whole thing wants to make you scream, but what can you do? What can you say? As far as everyone knows, you and Andy are nothing more than acquaintances.

So, you have no other option but to sit and watch?

An hour into setting up, your phone buzzes and you assume it’s Jacob, but a small smile comes to your face when you read the name on your phone.

My Heart: I know we said we won’t see each other again until Christmas, but I really want to see you tonight.

Y/N: Baby, you know we can’t.

My Heart: Laurie is driving me insane, all I wanna do is kiss you, and I hate sleeping alone.

Y/N: Christmas will be here before you know it, baby. Besides, we’ll find other alternatives while we wait. As for Laurie, I’m ready wring her fucking neck if she puts her hands on you one more time. What the fuck is she even talking about?

My Heart: How excited she is and reminiscing about how we used to talk about this day all the time.

Y/N: Of course she fucking is, because I guarantee you she doesn’t think that Jacob talked to you about what she fucking said.

My Heart: I wanna say something so bad, but this isn’t the fucking time or place, and I’m not gonna argue with her before Christmas.

Y/N: We’ll sort all of this soon. Today isn’t about any of this. Jacob and Sarah have been through a lot and I just want this to be perfect for them.

My Heart: I am so in love with you, did you know that?

Y/N: That’s good to hear, because the feeling is mutual :)

You look up and over at him for just a split second, and see the biggest smile on his face, and a small one comes to yours. God, you can’t to truly be with him. When your phone buzzes again, you know who it is before even checking it.

The Dark Lord: We’re on our way!

“Alright everyone, they’re on their way, so finish up and get to your spots,” you happily announce, tying up your last bow.

Everything is perfect, it’s even snowing, but you’re still annoyed. You completely understand why Laurie and Andy’s hiding spot is together, but it’s painfully clear that Laurie isn’t going down without a fight. Yeah, Andy will turn down all of her advances, but she shouldn’t be trying anything anyway. Whether or not you’re with Andy, he’s made it perfectly clear that he just wants to move on, and she refuses to accept that.

Also, yes, he’s your boyfriend so everyone needs to back off.

However, you can’t focus on that right now. Jacob and Sarah will be arriving any moment, and you’re the one in charge of recording everything.

Thank God you finally hear Sarah’s voice.

“Jacob, c’mon! I wanna do the maze while it’s still snowing!” she calls and you force yourself not to giggle.

“I had to grab something from the car, take a walk with me really quick though.”

“Babe-”

“I have a surprise for you,” he laughs softly as he takes her hand and starts to walk towards the spot that’s been set up for them. “Now, I know nothing about this relationship has really been normal or easy, for fucks sake, we started talking because you wanted to tip me off about what Derick said over a murder case,” he shakes his head in disbelief. “Yet, here we are all these years later, still in love and making it work. There’s no one else I can see myself having a future with and there’s no one else I want a future with.”

“Jacob-”

“I am moody, messy, argumentative, and I always forget to clean the coffee grinds out of the sink, but Sarah...I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. So,” he starts as he gets down on one knee and ‘Reflecting Light’ by Sam Phillips starts playing, “will you do me the honor of being my wife?”

Sarah doesn’t hesitate for a second.

“Of course!” she squeals, almost knocking him over with a hug.

Everyone soon erupts into cheers and applause as they come out of their hiding spots, and you finally stop recording.

“You sneaky little bitch!” Sarah exclaims when she sees you. “I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” you laugh as she almost knocks you over.

“You know you’re my maid of honor right?!”

“You sure about that?” you laugh as you two break apart, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything,” she promises with a nod.

Thank God for loyal friends.

Soon enough, it was time for photos and you do your best to mask the pain you feel when you Laurie hanging all over Andy. You know she’s doing it for show, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You want so badly to be in those photos and not some secret. You want so badly to just feel like it’s really real.

When she kisses Andy on the cheek, you’re not sure how you’re able to hold yourself back from smacking the shit out of her.

‘This isn’t about you or Andy. Control yourself,’ you tell yourself mentally.

“Y/N, you should get in some of these pictures,” Andy calls, giving you a small smile.

So much for being more discreet.

“What? Why?” Laurie questions, very obviously upset.

“She’s their best friend and has been there for them almost as long as their relationship, She’s practically apart of the family. Besides, she’s also the one came up with the design for all of this and got the decorations.”

“That’s a fair point,” Laurie begrudgingly agrees.

Well. Shit.

You’re about to stand on the other side of Laurie when Andy says, “here, stand between Laurie and I.”

“What? Why?”

“She can’t stand between Jacob and me or between Jacob or Sarah. She obviously stand between Sarah and her parents.”

“But why between us?”

“Why does it matter? It’s not like we’re together anymore.”

Fuck.

“It’s not a big deal, Mr. Barber, I can stand on the other side of-”

“No, that’s okay,” Laurie smiles the best she can, trying and failing to mask her pain, anger, and embarrassment. “You can stand between Andy and I.”

You and Sarah exchange a quick look before you stand between Andy and Laurie, and the smile that comes to your face is genuine. Not only is Andy going out of his way to make sure you’re included, but he’s also taking a stand.

He’s standing up to Laurie.

Yes, Andy’s a good man and you’re more than sure it hurt him to hurt and embarrass her, but it’s not like she didn’t draw first blood. From the look on Laurie’s face, she could tell that he really isn’t coming back.

He isn’t going to and he doesn’t want to.

You can’t stop yourself when he comes over later that night. Yeah, you two agreed to be more discreet, but after the massive display of affection he showed, waiting till Christmas feels a little more impossible.

However, that night was the only slip up you two had. From then until Christmas Eve, it was only texts, phone calls, and FaceTime. The only reason you went home (his place) on Christmas Eve was because he invited Sarah and Jacob over to decorate the Christmas tree, and Jacob invited you.

You both tried to hide how happy you were about doing something so simple together, but the look on Sarah’s let you know that she could see right through it. All she did was offer a small and subtle smile.

As silly as it seems, it was one of the best nights of your life.

You can’t think about that right now, though. You can’t even think about Andy, because you’ll get too excited and Jacob will start asking questions. In a few hours, you’ll be having the best Christmas ever, but for now, you need to focus.

“So, have you met my dad’s new girlfriend?” Jacob asks as you all finish up breakfast.

“Leave her alone, babe,” Sarah coos, collecting the plates and taking them all to your kitchen.

“It’s just a simple question.”

“Why do you think I’ve met her?” you ask sheepishly, quickly grabbing your coffee and taking sip; doing your best to hide your face.

“You two just seem pretty friendly-”

“You saw me at his house once and it was just to ask legal advice. There’s no reason for me to know anything else about his personal life, Jake.”

Lie.

“Speaking of that, how the hell are you gonna handle Christmas with your parents?”

“In and out for both. I’ll pop in, drop off gifts, and come back here, make dinner, and watch Christmas movies.”

Another lie.

“That sounds lonely, you wanna come with us to have dinner with my mom?”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure she just wants to spend time with you two.”

Truth.

“Lunch with my dad and Sarah’s family?”

“I have gifts to give,” you laugh humorlessly.

Another fucking lie.

“I just know that Christmas is your favorite and I feel bad about you spending it all alone.”

“It’s really okay, Jake. I’m fine with it. Being alone isn’t so bad. I’ll have ice cream, booze, and my favorite holiday movies. I’ll be fine.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“If you say so,” he sighs as he gets up, “but we gotta get going. We’re meeting my dad at Sarah’s parents’ house, then it’s off to my mother’s. This would be a lot simpler if they could’ve just stayed together,” he grumbles.

Ah, yes. There it is: guilt.

“We’ve had this talk, Jake: it’s for the better.”

“I know, I know, but still.”

“Just do your best to enjoy the day, okay?”

“I guess. I love you and I hope you enjoy your gifts,” he smiles as you both stand up and he engulfs you in a huge hug.

“I love you too, Jake. Merry Christmas.”

“We’ll see you after New Year?” Sarah asks as she makes her way over to you.

“Yeah, lets all do lunch on the 14th. Sound good?”

“It’s perfect,” she smiles as she wraps you in a tight hug. “Enjoy your time with him, you both love each other so much. I left the food you asked for in the fridge and Jake has no idea,” she whispers.

“Thank you, Sarah. For everything. I love you,” you whisper back, hugging her just a little bit tighter, before breaking away.

“I guess we’re off,” she sighs as she makes her way over to Jacob.

“You just gotta get through today then you two are on vacation,” you laugh.

“Thank God.”

The second they’re out the door, you’re pulling out Andy’s gifts and wrapping them. It would’ve been done earlier, but with Andy soaking up every single free moment you have since you two can’t see each other, it wasn’t going to happen.

You both agreed to small gifts, but you knew Andy was bullshitting, so you went a little over your budget (nothing you couldn’t make up with overtime), and got him a couple of pricey gifts you knew he’d love and find useful.

You take your time showering, feeling both anxious and excited about spending an almost normal Christmas Andy. The fact that, soon enough, you two will be able to have a real relationship and not have to hide in the shadows. You’ll live together, shop together, fall asleep together, talk about your days in person, have dinner together...all of it. So many things that are done in private, will finally be able to happen freely in the public.

Soon, you and Andy will finally have the life you’ve both been desperately seeking for over a year.

You decide on dressing in your favorite Christmas leggings and pull on the AC/DC crew neck he’s always happy to see you in. Just as you finish brushing out your hair, your phone buzzes and the butterflies appear all over again.

My Heart: On my way, sweetheart.

The squeal that leaves your mouth even causes you to laugh.

You gather all your groceries for dinner, as well as, gifts and a few more clothes you want to move into your home with Andy, before checking that everything is off and away as it should be. Then, you quickly making your way downstairs to the parking garage and waiting for him.

When he pulls in a few minutes later, you can tell he’s laughing without the window even being open.

“I would’ve come up to get you,” he laughs as you get into his car.

“I was too excited! Merry Christmas!” you beam, wrapping your arms around him and engulfing him in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” he chuckles softly, “you ready to go home?”

“Always.”

The entire time Andy is driving, you sing all of your favorite Christmas songs loud and off key.

And he’s begging you to stop.

“Okay, now I know that for next Christmas, I need to hide all things that provide music,” Andy sighs as you two make your way inside the house.

“You loved every second of it, I don’t care what you say,” you smirk as set up your presents up underneath the tree.

“Yeah yeah, which present do you wanna open-”

“No no, there’s an art to this. For starters, you should be wearing something Christmas-y, not jeans and a sweater.”

“I don’t have anything Christmas-y,” he chuckles and you shake your head.

“I thought you’d say that, that’s why I got you this!”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“Andy, you can’t break Christmas rules.”

“Since when is wearing a ridiculous sweater a Christmas rule?”

“Since you decided you’re in love with me. Now, put this on, along with some sweatpants, and I’ll make the drinks.”

“I’m about to have the longest Christmas ever, aren’t I?”

“You bet your ass, now change,” you giggle as you make your way into the kitchen.

You hear Andy huff before he starts on his way upstairs, and giggle a little as you get to work on the hot chocolates. Once the stove is hot enough, you start mixing everything together before grabbing a few of the appetizers you asked Andy to get out of the freezer, and preheating the oven.

“I’m not coming downstairs,” Andy calls from the top of the stairs.

“Oh, stop it! It’s not the bunny outfit from ‘A Christmas Story’, it’s just an ugly sweater.”

“It’s the ugliest sweater.”

“C’mon, Christmas grump.”

“I’m not a Christmas grump,” he mumbles as he starts making his down the steps. The second you see him, you burst out laughing and he rolls his eyes. “I’m not wearing this ever again.”

“It’s okay to look ridiculous, babe,” you giggle, “I do it every day.”

“You’ve never looked ridiculous a day in your life,” he smirks as he makes his way over to you, snaking his arms around your waist.

“You’re sweet. How was lunch?”

“How was breakfast?”

“That bad, huh?”

“Sarah’s dad was telling me about all the women he could set me up with and Jacob kept asking me about my new girlfriend.”

“He tried to ask me about your new girlfriend too.”

“I could scream at Laurie.”

“It’s Christmas, babe. Don’t think about it,” you sigh as pour the hot chocolate into two mugs. “We’re gonna have a shit show to deal with after New Year, so lets just enjoy today.”

“Why is the oven on?”

“So I can heat up the appetizers?”

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna start making dinner before we open gifts,” he groans, resting his head in the crook of your neck as you start laughing.

“Babe, it’s late! I should’ve started making dinner a while ago!”

“Who needs dinner?”

“Andy.”

“I wanna know what you got me!”

“I didn’t know that I’m in love with a child.”

“According to the town, I am.”

“Fuck you!” you laugh as you feel him smirk against your shoulder. “One gift, Andy.”

“That means you have to open one too.”

“I wanna wait.”

“You’re difficult, you know that?”

“You’re one to talk,” you grin.

“Fine, I’ll wait to open my gift,” he huffs and you can’t stop yourself from giggling. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Are you gonna be like this every Christmas?”

“Uh huh,” you smile, pouring Baileys into his hot chocolate then yours, “and you’re gonna love it.”

Andy takes a seat at the kitchen island and starts telling you about the traditions him and his mom had up until she passed away, while you get the appetizers together and put them in the oven. Just as you close the oven door, ‘The Christmas Song’ starts playing and you don’t even notice that he’s standing right behind you.

“Andy-”

“I think we should dance, don’t you?”

“You never fail to surprise me,” you laugh softly.

He pulls you close and you two slowly dance to one of your absolute favorite songs, and it feels like a dream.

Being with Andy is a dream come true.

When the song comes to and end, Andy continues to hold you close and rests his head on top of yours.

“I just want to stay in this moment for a minute,” he states softly, “I’ve waited for you for so long, and I’ve loved you...I just want us to stay like this for a moment. We finally got here, babe, and I just want to live in the moment that has made me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

You both just stand there and hold each other until the timer goes off on the stove.

You place a soft kiss on his chest before letting go of him and opening the stove, “alright, I made a few different things, because options are always a good thing.”

“That and you’re terrible at making decisions.”

“Both can be true,” you huff before sticking your tongue out at him and he chuckles. “What Christmas movie would you like to watch?”

“I don’t really have a favorite. I guess, ‘The Shop Around The Corner’? That was my mom’s favorite.”

“She had great taste,” you smile at him as you finish set up the plate, before you both head into the living room.

For the first hour, everything is perfect and Andy teases you for being able quote the movie line for line.

However, dreams do have their bumps from time to time.

“Fuck,” you mutter as your phone starts going off.

“What’s wrong?”

“I know who it is and I don’t wanna talk to her.”

“You don’t have to answer, sweetheart.”

“Yeah I do, or she’ll just keep calling,” you mutter, sitting up and grabbing your phone. “Hello?”

“Well, merry Christmas to you too,” your mother laughs and you roll your eyes. “When are you coming over? David and I are waiting.”

“Who the hell is David?”

“My boyfriend.”

“What the hell happened to Eric?”

“Oh, we broke up months ago.”

“Of course you did. Anyway, I told you last night that I’m not coming over.”

“Y/N-”

“I’m not arguing about this with you again. I don’t want to see you and I don’t wanna see dad. I don’t need either of you ruining my favorite holiday.”

“Y/N, I know we’ve had our differences but this used to be our-”

“Don’t. This was our holiday until you deiced that I don’t matter anymore. I did one Christmas without you both and it was almost near perfect. I think I’ll survive another one just fine without you two.”

“If you don’t see your dad-”

“You ruined it when you decided that I don’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I see him or not, you’ll always talk shit about him, and he’ll always talk shit about you. Now, I’m actually enjoying my day and I’m not about to ruin it by arguing with you. I love you and Merry Christmas,” you finish with an exasperated sigh before hanging up.

You feel your tears coming on and you know you shouldn’t be, but you’re upset with yourself. Why let her get to you? Why let either of them get to you? They chose to make it this way and you’ve made your peace with that, so why are you so worked up now?

“Talk to me, honey. What’s going on?” Andy questions, pausing the movie and pulling you close.

“It’s so fucking stupid,” you sob, wiping your eyes, “I’m ruining everything.”

“Hey, no you aren’t. What’s going on?”

“Christmas was such a big deal when I was child because we didn’t have any money. We made ornaments, stayed up on Christmas Eve to decorate our shitty tree and watch movies, then on Christmas Day my mom would make a big breakfast,” you chuckle softly, sniffling a little. “We’d eat, sing and dance around to Christmas songs, watch more movies, have a small lunch, and we’d get around to presents late in the afternoon. I never cared about them much, because I knew they couldn’t afford a lot. The only thing I cared about was that we were happy. For two days out of the year, we were all really happy and we were happy together.

Then as I got older, and they started arguing more, Christmas became a day for just my mom and I. She knew how much it meant to me and she wanted me to still have that feeling. She wanted me to know that even though things were changing, some things would always stay the same. It was alright for a while, but after the divorce...it just got so nasty. I would split my day with them, which would be an argument on its own, because the both them wanted me for the day. I would spend the morning and evening with her, then finish the day with him. Yeah, they had money at that point so they showered me with gifts, but they would just talk shit about each other to me. The whole spirit and idea of it was ruined. Last year was the first Christmas I spent alone and it was the first time that I loved it again since I was 15. There was no arguing, no feelings of guilt that I could letting one of them down, and no anger. It was me, my TV, ice cream, wine, and a quiet dinner.

Now, I get to spend it with you and I’m so fucking happy, because even without the gifts, this is the best. I have you and I really couldn’t ask for anything else,” you smile at him as more tears start to come.

“But?”

“Jacob doesn’t understand how lucky he is at times. Even with you and Laurie split up, he still got to see the both of you today. You’re a gentleman, so I know you didn’t say anything awful about Laurie, and for as awful as Laurie is, she knows how much Jacob worships the ground you walk on, so she’s not going to say anything terrible about you. Even if it’s not together, he still gets to see the both of you and enjoy it. He gets to bring Sarah with him and know he won’t be embarrassed or have to apologize for the actions of his parents. My parents fucking hate each other and that’s never going to change, and I know for a fact that if I were to ever bring you on the holidays, it’ll be a shit show.

They’ll spend the whole time just tearing each other down. I’m so fucking mad at them for doing this. For just tearing apart something that meant so much to me. That means something to me. Christmas was such a special time for us and it was everything, and now I’ll never enjoy it with them again. The one thing that would bring us together is now one of the many things that keeps us apart,” you cry.

“Sweetheart,” Andy coos, pulling onto his lap and you lay your head on his shoulder, “that’s not stupid at all. It’s okay to be upset about something that’s upsetting. Your parents have had more than enough time to get their shit together, and the fact that they refuse to is utter bullshit. You told your mother last night that you weren’t coming over, and she still called and tried to act like it was something that hadn’t been discussed. That’s fucked up, and no matter what’s happened over time, she knows how much today means to you. It’s fucked up and it’s selfish. Don’t feel like you’re ruining anything by being rightfully upset, because you’re not.”

“I should start on dinner,” you sniff, wiping your eyes as you go to get up, but Andy’s hold on you is strong.

“Hey, I love you, Y/N,” he tells you as he softly forces your gaze on him with his free hand. “It’s okay to open up to me about your past, you know that.”

“I don’t want you to go away, Andy.”

“I’ve told you I’m not and I mean that, why don’t you trust that?”

“Because you’re too good to be true,” you laugh humorlessly, “I keep waiting for you to go, because all of this is a lot. I’m a lot to deal with.”

“Babe, I got us a home,” he chuckles, “what else do you need me to do? You want me to propose?”

“Andy.”

“Listen, I think about it every single day. I want everything with you forever. I’ll propose to and marry you today if that’s what it takes for you to believe me.”

You don’t even think about it; you just cup his face and kiss him passionately. As always, you want to get lost in Andrew Steven Barber and every emotion he makes you feel. Even if it all crashes and burns, everything he makes you feel lets you know that all of this is worth it.

He truly is the love of your life.

“I should start on dinner,” you breathe once you two break apart.

“After the movie?”

“It’s getting late and-”

“Please?”

You’ll never tell him no.

“Right after.”

“Sounds good to me,” he smiles at you before pressing play on the movie.

You two barely watch the movie, because neither of you can keep your hands off of each other, but the second it comes to an end, you’re practically pushing Andy off of you.

“Just a little bit longer,” he begs breathlessly.

“Judging by what I just felt on my inner thigh, we won’t get anything else done tonight,” you laugh.

“Tonight?”

“I’ll make you so happy tonight, daddy,” you promise in the innocent tone that makes him insanely feral.

“Don’t start,” he warns with a low growl as he gets off of you.

“Punish me for it later,” you wink, getting up and letting up a little yelp when he slaps your ass. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, daddy.”

“I swear to God, you’re gonna ruin me,” he groans and you laugh. “What am I supposed to do while you’re cooking?”

“Watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’,” you shrug before walking out of the room, and you hear him scoff.

You start going over everything that you two discussed over in your head as you start on dinner and it feels as if your heart is about to burst open.

Yes, hes told you he wants everything with you multiple times, but the fact that he’s so ready to marry you? It’s not something he said just put you at ease, and you could tell by the look in his eyes.

You know that he’s happy to wait and you’re so happy he’s so patient with you, because the reality of someone genuinely loving and wanting you is something you still aren’t able to able to believe.

However, that’s not something you wanna focus on right now. It’s Christmas and you’ve got a dinner to prepare.

You notice that the water is finally boiling and you frown. You hate this part.

You sigh as you open the fridge and take out the stapled plastic bag. “Sorry buddy, I really don’t wanna do this.”

You take the lobster out of the bag, place it on the cutting board, and look at it. You wanna call Andy in and ask him to kill it, but it’s supposed to be a surprise, so that would defeat the purpose. Sure, you can close your eyes, but knowing you, that’ll more than likely make things worse. Usually, you can get Sarah or Jacob to do it, but that’s obviously not an option right now.

You’ve just got to do it.

You pick up the knife and hold it directly over the lobster’s head, “I’m so sorry!” you exclaim before stabbing it.

You’re quick to remove the rubber bands on its claws and throw it into the pot, before throwing the knife into the sink.

You’re a murderer.

“What’s going on in here?” Andy asks as he makes his way into the kitchen.

“Nothing nothing,” you smile as you quickly cover the lid.

“Who were you apologizing to?” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow.

“Dinner.”

“What the hell are you making?” he laughs.

“You just wait and see. Now, out of the kitchen!”

“I want a drink,” he says with a coy smile as he makes his way over to the cabinet and grabs a glass.

“Don’t try and get slick with me, Barber,” you laugh.

“I’m not trying anything,” he shrugs as he pours himself a drink, but you see the smile playing on his lips.

“Out of the kitchen.”

“I miss you.”

“You’re nosey.”

“Both can be true.”

“Andy!” you laugh, pushing him playfully.

“I’ll leave you alone...for now,” his tone foreboding as he starts to walk away, “but I’ll be back.”

“Out of the kitchen!” you laugh before sticking your tongue out at him.

From that moment on, Andy won’t give you a moment of peace. He’s either trying to call you out of the kitchen or he pops in to bother you.

“You’re making steak? Now we’re getting somewhere!” he beams as he pops up behind you, causing you to jump.

“You’re honestly the worst person to make dinner for,” you giggle as he wraps his arms around you.

“In my defense, we usually make dinner together.”

“That’s a shitty defense. I’m appalled, District Attorney Barber.”

“I can’t really make a good case when you look this good,” he mumbles against your neck before kissing it. “What was in the pot earlier?”

“Food.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because dinner is almost ready!”

“Did you make this salad yourself? A homemade chicken ceasar salad?”

“Andrew Steven Barber, go away!”

“How much longer do I have to wait?”

“Keep it up and I’ll send you to bed without supper.”

“You’re mean on Christmas,” he mutters and you laugh. “Jacob’s been calling and texting you.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t go through your phone.”

“I don’t care. You know my passcode, just check it and tell me.”

“So, I have permission to leave and come back into the kitchen?”

“I’m going to fight you,” you giggle.

“I just wanna make sure I’m not breaking any rules. I don’t wanna get banished from our home.”

“You are such a pain in the ass,” you chuckle as he leaves the room.

It’s quiet for only a few moments before you hear, “well, it seems like he had an eventful dinner.”

“Uh oh.”

“By the time they arrived, Laurie was drunk and Sarah had to help her finish dinner.”

“Fuck.”

“Do you want me to read the rest?”

“Might as well.”

“She cried over me moving on and away and said that if I give her another chance, she’ll be better.”

“Jesus, she didn’t say this in front of Sarah, did she?”

“He doesn’t say.”

“Fuck.”

“What do you want me to say?”

You’re thoughtful before you speak. “Just say, in the middle of making myself dinner, but that sounds like a fucking shit show. My phone was in the other and that’s why I missed your call. I promise to talk to you before you go on vacation, but for the time being, just enjoy the rest of your night with Sarah. I love you.”

“How do you know how to handle him so well?”

“Years of practice, Barber. Now, out of the kitchen.”

“So damn bossy,” he sighs before kissing your cheek. “How much longer?”

“Soon! Now out!” you giggle.

It’s not that you don’t want to talk to Jacob, but for right now, you just want to focus on you and Andy. Thankfully, a few moments later, you hear Andy answer his phone with ‘hey bud’, and you know it’s Jacob.

You’re more than happy for the welcomed distraction as you finish up dinner and start to put everything together on plates.

‘It’s dinner time,’ you mouth to Andy as he paces back and forth while talking on the phone.

“Bud, we’ll talk about all of it when you get back from vacation, okay? I wouldn’t stress too much about it, because your mother is just being...your mother. It’s all gonna be fine, okay? Don’t worry....I love you too, Jake...Merry Christmas to you and Sarah too,” he smiles before hanging up.

“Everything okay?”

“One way or another it will be,” he smiles weakly, “now, show me what’s for dinner.”

“Only if you ask nicely.”

“Please feed me,” he whines and you laugh.

“I guess, come on,” you smile as you make your way back into the kitchen.

“Sweetheart, all of this looks amazing. It smells fantastic!” Andy marvels as he looks over the table.

“I made the sauce that you love for the fettuccine and-”

“Is that lobster in the pasta? Oh no,” he starts laughing, “you had to kill it didn’t you? That’s why you were apologizing?”

“I’m a murderer! I stabbed it in the head!”

“Why didn’t you just put in the pot?” he laughs, wrapping you in a tight hug,

“I was told that it’s more humane to kill it first! I usually get Sarah or Jake to do it, but that obviously wasn’t an option.”

“You could’ve asked me.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise!”

“You really are the sweetest thing,” he chuckles, “I love you.”

“I love you, I hope you enjoy everything.”

“There’s so much food.”

“Leftovers, my friend. Leftovers,” you smirk as you two break apart. “I seasoned the broccoli just the you like, but there’s very little butter because I put a good amount on the lobster.”

“Have you thought about going to cooking school?”

“Don’t suggest anything until you try it,” you laugh as you pour yourself a glass of wine.

Dinner is perfect (according to Andy), and you can’t help but feel a little silly about crying earlier. Yes, your feelings were valid but, for the most part, the day has been everything you’ve ever wanted and more. You’re with the love of your life, you’re both happy, it’s snowing, and you honestly don’t think there’s ever been a time in your life where you’ve felt this content.

This is how it should be.

“It’s finally time to open presents!” Andy yells after he puts away the last of the leftovers, running into the living room.

“You’re giant child,” you laugh, following behind with a bottle of bourbon for him, and you freshly refilled glass of wine.

“I wanna see your face when you open your gifts!”

“You go first, cause you were the one who wanted to open gifts first.”

“How about we both pick a gift?”

“Fine,” you giggle as you sit on the floor next to him.

“Alright, open this one and I’ll open-”

“Why do you get to pick your own gift and I don’t get to pick mine?!”

“Because I bought that gift 7months ago and have been desperate to give it to you since I purchased it.”

“What did you do?”

“Just take it,” he laughs as he passes you the small long box. “I’ll take this one...why is it heavy?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, sipping on your wine.

“We had an agreement-”

“I have a feeling that whatever is in this box breaks our agreement.”

“Y/N.”

“Just open it!”

“Fuck,” he sighs, putting his drink down before tearing off the paper. “No.”

“You needed it!”

“Sweetheart-”

“Andy, your old laptop is shit, and you were never going to get yourself a new one.”

“An Apple?!”

“It’s what you’re used to!”

“It’s too much!”

“Just say ‘thank you’ and give me a kiss.”

“You are something else, ya know that?” he chuckles in disbelief as he leans over and gives you a kiss. “The most selfless person I know.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. Now you.”

“I’m afraid.”

“If I had to open yours, you have to open mine.”

“We’re the worst,” you mutter and he laughs. “Andy...jewelry definitely breaks our agreement.”

“After the gift I just opened from you, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Andy-”

“Open it.”

You’re slow to rip of the paper and glance at Andy before opening the box. “Andy...”

“Do you remember the talk we had that night we went for ice cream? The first time we hung out?”

“You didn’t...oh Andy!”

“You said that, after dogs, butterflies make you the happiest. They’re so delicate, but also so strong, and they’re so light but also leave you with a good feeling. A butterfly is something so fleeting, but so everlasting.”

“Andy, this gorgeous, but it’s too much.”

“No it isn’t.”

“A diamond encrusted bracelet of butterflies-”

“Stop, you’re worth it. I know it makes you happy.”

“You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to. I love you.”

“Andy, this is too much.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it.’

“Then its not. Put it on, lets see it.”

You’re hesitant at first, but the second it’s on your wrist, there’s a smile painted on your face.

“Andy...”

“It looks great on you.”

“This had to cost-”

“Don’t worry about the cost. I saw it, thought of you, and decided you needed it. I’m not returning it, so just enjoy it.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“I’m not good enough,” he smirks before kissing you.

How is this real life?

As you suspected, all of Andy’s gifts are much more than you two agreed upon, and you feel foolish for not getting him more lavish gifts.

“You didn’t stick to the agreement at all,” you laugh as you open up your last gift from him; a brand new kitchen knife set.

“Listen, you you said your blades were getting dull and-”

“You didn’t have to put yourself into debt to get me new ones! I was gonna buy some soon, anyway!”

“I didn’t put myself into debt and now you don’t have to spend the money. Besides, the new briefcase that has ‘Attiucs Finch’ engraved in it? I don’t wanna hear it.”

“You’re annoying.”

“So are you,” he laughs before kissing your temple.

“Let me take my stuff upstairs and we’ll watch another movie,” you giggle as you get up and grab your bag.

“I’ll clean up while you do that. Do you liken your gifts?”

“I adore them almost as much as In adore you.”

“I really love making you happy.”

“Same here,” you smile before making your way out of the living room.

You get upstairs and take a deep breath as you get yourself ready for your next and final gift. Yeah, you know Andy thinks you’re beautiful, but you’ve never presented yourself to him like this. He’s usually ripping your clothes off or making you strip, but there’s always clothes on your body. And now? You’re going down there in just velvet red ribbon underwear, hoping he thinks you’re sexy as hell.

“You okay up there?” he calls with a small laugh as you put your Santa hat on.

“Yeah, I’m just getting your last gift together,” you respond, making your way down the steps.

“Funny you should say that, because I have...fuck,” he sighs as he looks you over.

“You’ve been a really good boy this year, daddy.”

“Sweetheart...holy shit.”

“I think you should be rewarded, don’t you?” you innocently ask as you straddle him.

“Baby-”

“Because I really think you should,” you moan, grinding your hips against his.

“Santa’s little whore, huh?” he grunts, gripping your hips and starting to move with you.

“I’m whatever you want me to be,” you promise with breathy sigh as he moans. “You like it, daddy? Your cock...it’s so hard! It feels like you do!”

“Jesus, sweet girl!”

“Wanna feel you,” you whimper, raising yourself just a little as you pull his sweatpants down just enough that you see him, stroking him a bit before lightly tracing the tip of his cock with your fingers. You smirk, getting just a bit of pre-cum on your fingers, bringing them to your lips as licking them softly.

“Sweet girl,” he growls with a warning tone.

“Just wanted a taste, daddy...oh fuck!” you mewl as you lower yourself down on his cock. “You fucking fill me so good, daddy!”

“Look at you,” he moans as you start to ride, “you look so beautiful when you take daddy’s fat cock!”

“Shit!”

“Daddy’s gonna destroy this perfect little cunt, but you gotta cum for me first.”

“F...fuck, you promise?”

“You’ve been such a good little girl today, it’s only fair that I-”

“Andy!” Laurie yells as she bangs on the door.

Andy’s quickly turns his head, but you force his attention back on you, “focus, daddy,” you coo softly as you pick up your pace.

“Andy!” Laurie calls again, a little louder and longer this time.

“Just focus, you wanna make me cum, don’t you daddy?”

“Fuck,” he groans as you take his hand and place it around your throat.

“You know what I need, daddy,” you whimper, “be a good boy and make me cum, please!”

“Sweet girl,” he grunts as his grip on your neck tightens.

“Andy, please!” Laurie begs pathetically.

“That’s it, daddy! Ri...right there! Oh God!” you mewl as squirt all over his cock.

“Fuck!” he broods as he fills you with his desire.

You both just sit there for a moment, breathing heavy and embracing each other, as Laurie continues banging on the door.

“Hands and knees. On the floor,” he demands hotly, looking up at you with lust filled eyes.

You don’t hesitate at all as Laurie’s banging finally settles down a little.

“Just can’t stop yourself from making a mess, can you?” Andy taunts as he thrusts himself inside you.

“Daddy!”

“And we just got that sofa, sweet girl.”

“ ‘m so sorry, daddy! Just felt so good! Fuck!”

“ ‘ts okay, baby. You look so fucking pretty under these fucking Christmas lights,” he huffs, slapping your ass hard, “cause you’re daddy’s gift, right?”

“Y...yes!” you sob, feeling your orgasm building up again.

“Andy, please just talk to me!” Laurie begs from the other side of the door.

“Feels too good, daddy! I need to-”

“Tsk tsk tsk, you know you only cum when daddy says so,” he chides, gripping your hair tight.

“Oh my God!”

“Jesus, I always forget how pathetic you get when you’re desperate to cum,” he chuckles darkly before dipping down and biting your neck.

“Daddy please!”

“I want her to hear you,” he husks against the shell of your ear as he starts to massage your clit.

“Fuck!”

                                                                                                                   “Makeher hear how much you love me.”

“Daddy!”

“Make her hear how much we love each other, because I love you so fucking much, sweet girl.”

“OH FUCK!” you cry out, squirting hard all over his cock, and you’re more than certain you’ve made a mess on the carpet.

“Such a good little whore,” he praises before pulling out and flipping you on your back.

“Daddy!”

“I know, sweet girl, I know,” he coos, gripping your hips and adjusting you a little before thrusting himself inside you again. “Daddy’s gonna take such good care of you.”

“You...you always, fuck! You always do,” you sob, pulling at the ends of his sweater. “Wanna see all of you, please!”

“Anything for you, sweet girl.”

If Laurie is still out there you can’t hear her.

Andy quickly discards his sweater before dipping down and pressing soft kisses to your collar bone.

“Oh God, please don’t stop, daddy!”

“You’re so fucking perfect, baby! Everything about you...”

“Fuck!”

“C’mere,” he broods before pulling you upright with him. “So fucking gorgeous.”

You look down at him as your hair falls in front of your face, taking in every bit of his hard, beautiful body. You’re sure that you’ll never see a more gorgeous man in your life, and you’re also sure that no one will ever make you feel as good.

His hand travels down between your bodies, and his fingers find your most sensitive spot and you know that everything happening tonight is real. He chooses you, he loves you, and he wants you.

He needs you.

“Too full, daddy! Too...oh God!”

“You can take a little bit more, babygirl,” he husks as he starts rubbing your clit faster.

“Daddy...please! I need it!”

“Gonna make you so fucking happy, sweet girl! Never gonna...fuck, never gonna be brokenhearted again!”

“Fuck! I’m gonna...fuck!” you mewl while clawing at his back.

“Jesus, sweet girl! Let go! Let go right now!”

You scream Andy’s name as your orgasm washes over you, clenching around him tighter when you feel his release filling you up.

Neither of you say anything. You just hold on to him tightly, trying to come down from your euphoria as well as trying to stay awake.

“You okay, babe?” he asks after a moment.

“Mhm.”

“Was I too rough?”

“No daddy.”

His phone buzzes and you whine in protest. “Just rest, sweetheart.”

“You said...you said you have another gift for me,” you breathe as his phone buzzes again. “You may as well answer her.”

“She can wait.”

“Clearly not.”

“Hey, come back to me,” he coos softly. “Don’t get upset over her. Not now, not tonight.”

“She’s just never gonna go away. She’ll always be around.”

“But that has nothing to do with us.”

“Andy-”

“Y/N, I love you. Whatever bullshit Laurie is dealing with is just that: her bullshit. It’s just you and me now.”

“You feel that way now-”

“I’ll always feel that way.”

You sigh and rest your forehead against his, “today was perfect. I love you, thank you.”

“I’d do anything for you.”

“What’s my other gift?”

“Oh,” he chuckles, “that. You’re gonna freak out, but don’t.”

“Andy, what did you do?”

“Well, you said you wanted us to go away together.”

“And?”

“You said wanted us to have our own ‘Roman Holiday’.”

“You didn’t!”

“Before you start yelling, it isn’t as expensive as you think it is and-”

“Andy! I said I would save up money!”

“You wanted it, so I wanted you to have it,” he says simply with a shrug.

You cup his face in your hands and kiss him like you’re afraid he’s about to leave you. His hold on you tightens, he deepens the kiss, and you feel him coming back to life.

“Andy,” you moan, grinding yourself against him as his phone buzzes again. “For fucks sake!”

“I’ll answer her and then I swear I’ll take care of you,” he groans, pulling out of you as you settle yourself underneath the Christmas tree.

Andy’s quickly gets his phone, and you undress yourself, deciding that clothes are no longer necessary for the rest of the night.

“What the fuck?” he mumbles as he starts making his way to the front door.

“What’s wrong?”

“More like, what’s right,” he counters as he opens the door. “There’s no fucking way...”

“Andy, what’s going on?”

“Holy shit!” he exclaims, grabbing something out of the mailbox before closing the door, turning to face you. “She signed the papers.”

“Are you serious? What did she say in the texts? Are you fucking serious?”

“A few choice words about you-”

“I can handle it.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Just read it, Andy.”

He sighs before unlocking his phone. “You and that little whore are disgusting, I hope you know that. Also, the whole block can probably hear you two, so that’s a nice gift for everyone on Christmas. I hope whoever the fuck she is that she’s worth all the hell you’re wreaking on our family. I just want you to know that when she walks away, I’ll be ready to take you back. I love you. Merry Christmas.”

“How did she even find our home?”

“Probably Jacob, cause she still doesn’t know that I’m with you.”

“I feel like there’s a catch. Laurie being selfless? It doesn’t add up.”

“Her signature is everywhere it needs to be, sweetheart. It’s finally fucking official,” he smiles at you.

Without giving it another thought, you’re on your feet, running over to him and jumping on him as soon as your arms are around him.

“This is real?”

“As real as it gets, sweetheart.”

“You still want me?”

“Ya know, I think I’ll use the next few hours to show you just how much I still want you. How much I’ll always want you,” he smirks before starting to run up the stairs as you start laughing.

In the back of your mind, you know this isn’t as simple as Laurie is making it seem, but for right now, you don’t care. You belong to Andy completely and he finally belongs to only you. Yes, he’s been telling you how you’re the only one for him, but this is different. It’s so much more. Yeah, you’re one step closer to pure and utter chaos, but you’re also one step closer an actual real relationship that’s truly worth all of the energy and stress you’ve put into it.

Merry Christmas indeed.

**

“I don’t wanna go back to my loft tomorrow,” you sigh as you rest your head on Andy’s chest, intertwining your fingers with his.

“Then just move in. This your home.”

“I know, but we haven’t told Jacob yet and...it’s gonna be hard, but we need to do it. We need to have that talk with him before we officially do anything.”

“He comes back tomorrow, so lets-”

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” you practically mumble as you make little circles on his chest with your pointer finger.

“Y/N.”

“Just hear me out. I’m not backing out of anything, or asking for more time. I just don’t want our vacation to be filled with me crying because Jacob hates me.”

“He won’t-”

“Don’t, Andy. Just don’t. He’s going to be furious with the both of us. I don’t want out first trip away together to be clouded by that.”

“Sweetheart, the trip isn’t until May.”

“I know, I know. So, if you still want to tell him when he gets back tomorrow, I’m fine with that.”

“No, you have a point,” he sighs. “He is gonna be furious and you’re gonna be beside yourself, and that’s something I don’t want. Especially during our very first trip together. I just don’t like keeping it from him.”

“Trust me, I feel the same, but the timing wasn’t right. It didn’t help that it took Laurie for-fucking-ever to sign the damn papers,”

“At least she signed them though, and that’s something to smile about,” he reassures you with a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, you have a point. What did she agree to in the end?”

“She keeps the house, her car, we split our Savings and I keep whatever is in mine, she gets the furniture, and she gets to keep the timeshare we got in California.”

“You have a timeshare?”

“Had a timeshare,” he laughs, but he can sense your uneasiness. “Uh oh, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Talk to me.”

“There’s just so much...I don’t want you to feel like you have get me things because you have more than me.”

“Y/N-”

“And it’s not like I think you’re rich or anything, it’s just very obvious that you have more money than me and-”

“Hey, stop,” he chuckles softly. “I don’t buy you things because I think of you as some charity case. I do it because I love you and I love making you happy.”

“I’m just not used to being loved, Andy. I’m not used to being the girl that someone picks.”

“Well, take as much time as you need to get used to it,” he reassures you before kissing the top of your head.

“You really wanna face the world with me when all of this comes out?”

“I wanna face the world with you no matter what.”

“I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N. I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he whispers before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

As you both lay in bed, looking up at the moon, you wonder just how well you both will handle the hell that’s about to come your way. You believe in the love that Andy has for you, and you know it’s stronger than anything you’ve ever felt, but the fear is still there, because who the hell ever chooses you? You’re terrified of pushing him away, but you don’t have a fucking clue in hell how to keep him close when it all becomes too much.

God, you really hope you don’t fuck this up.

Jacob’s P.O.V.

“What do you mean you’re going away?” I ask as you continue to pack.

“I just need to get out of here. I feel like I’m gonna lose my fucking my mind,” you huff, slamming a drawer shut.

It’s not like I haven’t noticed the changes in you since Sarah and I got back from vacation, but this just seems drastic.

Then again, your moods have been too.

You’re either extremely happy or severely distant. You either wanna be left alone or are desperate to hangout. You’re not you and for as much as I wanna ask you about it, Sarah keeps telling me that you’ll talk about it when you’re ready, and I know she’s right, but lately it feels like you’re a million miles away and I can’t reel you back in, no matter how hard I try. I hate that.

I hate feeling like it’s no longer me and you against the world.

“It’s just for a few weeks,” you mutter, throwing more close into your suitcase.

“It’s just my dad and now you-”

“What’s going on with your dad?”

“He told me that he got tickets for a vacation last week. Between work and all the shit with my mom, he just needs a break.”

“That makes sense.”

“Y/N, can you please just take a break and tell me what’s going on?”

“We’ll talk when I get back.”

“Y/N-”

“Jacob, its been a hell of a few months...a hell of a few years. I just need to finally do something for me.”

What aren’t you telling me?

“Y/N, what’s going on with you? I know you say that nothing’s changed between us, but it feels like it has. I don’t feel close to you anymore.”

“Jake-”

“You can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed a change in our friendship.”

“Of course there is! Both of our lives are changing! You’re planning a wedding!”

“And what about your life? What’s going on? Please talk to me!”

You’re hesitant before you answer me, “I might be moving when I get back. I don’t know, nothing’s been decided yet.”

“Moving? Where? Why?”

“It’s just time for a change. I feel like I need to uproot and start over. I’m not gonna be far, I’m just-”

“Are you moving in with someone?”

You’re hesitant again. “Why does it matter?”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Jake, whether I am or I’m not doesn’t concern you.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Jake-”

“Is it my dad?”

“What the...why would you say that?”

“My mom’s been saying-”

“Don’t finish that statement,” you warn before walking over to your dresser and grabbing more clothes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We’ll talk about of it when I get back.”

“Why not now?”

“Because I don’t wanna fucking talk about it right now!” you snap, throwing your things down.

I’ve clearly hit some nerve, because you’ve never acted this way with me before.

“Y/N-”

“I just can’t do this right now. That’s all there is to it. There’s a lot going on that I don’t know how to deal with and I don’t know how to put them into words, so I just don’t feel like doing it now.”

“There was a time when you were okay with telling me everything, and now-”

“How are things with Sarah?’ you counter.

“What do you mean-we’re fine?”

“Then why aren’t off planning a wedding with her?”

“One, everything is on hold till you get back; not my decision, hers. Two, my best friend is icing me out-”

“I’m not icing you out, Jacob!”

“Listen, if you’re just over this friendship, just have the fucking decency to say it, because-”

“Jacob, just stop! Please...stop,” you sob.

Great, now I feel like an asshole.

“Y/N-”

“When I get back, okay? We’ll talk about everything when I get back, okay?”

“You could always talk to me before-”

“And I know I can now,” you interrupt with a heavy sigh, “I’m just tired of talking and planning right now. I need a break and then I’ll be back to myself.”

I can’t fault you for that. You’ve spent your whole life arguing and planning, it only make sense that you’re fed up.

But still.

“When you get back?”

“I promise, Jake.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Jacob. Just go home and rest, okay?”

Something is off, but there’s no use in pushing. Not when you’re like this.

All I can do is give you a kiss on the cheek before making my way out of your place. I guess I made it our home, which was fucked up on my part.

It’s not like I lied to my dad when I said that my feelings for you aren’t stronger than the love I have for Sarah, it’s just that you’ve always made me feel normal. Being my friend has never been easy, but you’ve never left my side. You’ve always defended me, gotten into actual fights, and have always believed me. Believed in me. Sarah and I separated at one point, and it’s not like I can blame her, but you...you’ve always been there. From the day that we met, you’ve never let my side.

I know that you’ll eventually meet someone and they’ll become the love of your life, and they’ll more than likely be older, but the way that my mother is going on about it being my father...you wouldn’t do that, would you?

I’m your best friend.

However, you didn’t deny it and that has me on edge. You probably haven’t noticed, but I see the way he looks at you, and I know you think he’s insanely attractive (like every other woman in this dumb little town). I can handle you being with someone else, but my dad?

What does he have that I don’t?

“Is everything okay?” Sarah asks as I make my way into our home; bridal magazines everywhere.

“She says so.”

“Baby, I’m sure whatever is going on, she’ll tell you when she gets back.”

“Her and my dad leaving on the same day? Even you have to notice that it’s a bit strange.”

“Babe-”

“Plus, every time I ask him about his girlfriend, he changes the subject, which is fucking weird since they’ve been dating for months.”

“Well, what did she say when you asked her?”

“She didn’t confirm it.”

“There ya go.”

“She also didn’t deny it.”

“If there’s anything to tell you, she will.”

“Why are you so calm about this?”

“Because I don’t care,” she scoffs with a shrug.

“Well, why not?!”

“Honey, they’re both adults. If they want to date, just let them, it’s really not a big deal.”

“So, you don’t care that Y/N might be the reason that my dad left my mom?”

“No, because you and I both know that the problems in your parents’ marriage didn’t start with y/n. I think that there’s a bigger issue here.”

“Not that shit again!”

“Jacob, just tell me-”

“I just want you, babe. I only want you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Sarah, you’ve been the one ever since I met you, and that’s not changing any time soon,” I promise with a smile.

It’s not like it’s a lie. Sarah is the only person I want to be with...I just need you to be with anyone but my dad. That’s not asking too much...is it?

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“We have to go to the Mouth of Truth before leave!” you whine as Andy picks you up and carries you into the villa you’ve both been staying at for a week and a half.

“We’re gonna go, I promise,” he laughs, “we’ve got two more days.”

“No, lets just stay here. Here is so much better.”

“I wish we could, sweetheart,” he sighs as his phone goes off. “For fucks sake.”

“Just ignore it.”

“You know I can’t,” he mutters as he sets you down before taking out his phone and answering it. “Hey bud, what’s up?”

For the most part, the vacation has been amazing. The villa Andy got you both is beautiful, you’ve been to almost every place you’ve seen in ‘Roman Holiday’ along with a few places that Andy’s always wanted to visit, the dinners you two have made for each other have perfect, and the sex has been remarkable.

That doesn’t mean it’s been smooth sailing.

Every day, Jacob calls you and Andy, looking for cracks in either of your stories, Laurie texts him non-stop, and Sarah has told you multiple times that she’s getting tired of Jacob’s obsession over the whole.

If things are this bad, you can’t even begin to imagine how much worse they’ll be when you two get home and tell everyone. However, you’re not home yet, and you’re determined to make the best of the last few days you two have left. You quickly slip into the blue lace lingerie you were saving for the last day of the trip, your skinny black heels, and let your hair done. You do a quick look over in the mirror before making your way downstairs.

“I’m sure she’ just taking a break from...,” Andy trails off once his eyes land on you, jaw dropping just a little.

Mission accomplished.

“I’m sorry, I got distracted,” he almost stutters as he clears his throat, “I’m sure she’s just taking a break...she is on vacation, Jake.”

“Hang up,” you mouth as you straddle him, starting to undo the button on his jeans.

“You said she seemed pretty stressed and frustrated when she was packing, so I would imagine....she has a lot going on. I’m sure she’ll tell you everything when she gets back...I’ve been working non-stop for 4 years, Jake. I just-” he gasps as you slide yourself down on him, “I-I needed a break. Your mother and I talked about gong away a lot, but....but we never did it.”

“Hang up,” you mouth again as you start to pick your pace, hitting that spot deep within that makes you come alive for him.

“Listen, when...when I get back home, you and I will have a lunch or dinner, and we’ll talk about everything...y-yes...yes, we can go to the diner,” he breathes as he grips your throat tight, “I’ll talk to you later and I’ll be home soon.”

“Daddy please,” you mouth, gripping his shoulders as your climax starts to build. “Need you so much.”

Andy’s eyes go wide as he watches you, memorized by the way you move your hips as you take your bra off, your mouth agape as you try to hold on.

“I gotta...I gotta go, okay? Yes Jacob, we’ll talk soon...I really gotta go...I love you too,” he grunts before finally fucking hanging up.

“Daddy!” you cry out come undone, leaning your forehead against his.

“Now, who told you to be a whore and pull that little stunt, huh?”

“I want all of your attention, daddy. This is our trip, isn’t it?”

“You don’t feel important?” he taunts as he wraps his arms around before getting up, “you don’t think you’re my main focus?”

“No,” you moan, wrapping your legs around him as the feel of him deeper inside of you starts driving you insane as he heads for up the stairs.

“I thought I was doing a good idea of that night after night.”

“Shit,” you moan, grinding yourself against him.

“And every morning when I wake you up by eating this perfect little pussy.”

“I just need...need you! Didn’t feel important,” you whine.

“Let daddy fix that,” he smirks, laying you down on the bed before fucking into you relentlessly. “Let daddy make you feel better!”

“Fuck!”

“My sweet, sweet girl.”

“Oh my God!”

“You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. God, I never get tired at looking you...at this perfect little body.”

“Fuck, I’m so...so close!”

“Yeah? You gonna be a good girl and cream on daddy’s cock?”

All you can do is nod.

“Use your words,” he growls, slapping your clit.

“Fuck! Yes...YES!” you cry out, gripping the sheets as your body trembles.

“Such a good girl,” he praises as he pulls out, “I want you to tell me how good you taste,” he coos as he slides two fingers inside of you.

“Fuck, daddy!”

“Tell me, baby,” he encourages as he smears your lips with your cum. “Daddy really wants to know.”

“So good,” you moan as you lick your lips.

“Yeah? I think I’ll find out for myself,” he smirks before getting on his knees.

“Fuck, you make...make me feel...shit!” you cry out, gripping his hair as uses three of his fingers fuck you, while he sucks and licks your clit. “So fucking good to me,” you moan.

You prop up yourself using one of your elbows and look down, meeting Andy’s intense gaze on you.

“I...I love you so much, Andy,” you brood, feeling that knot in your core tighten. “I only...only need...you!” you cry out, coating his fingers (and you’re sure his face) with your release.

Andy takes his time cleaning you up, keeping his eyes on you, before slowly peppering you body with the most soft and delicate kisses hes ever given you, as he makes his way up your body.

“Never been this in love with anyone,” he groans he pushes himself inside of you. “Never knew I could be this in love.”

“Andy!”

“You are everything to me. I’m gonna love you until...until my dying breath,” his promises as his movements start to become erratic.

Between your juices still glistening on his beard, his words, and the fact that he keeps hitting that spot inside of you that makes your whole body ignite, you feel yourself ready to come apart for the final part.

“Can’t...need to let go!”

“Do it, sweet girl! Give me everything!”

“Andy!” you sob, squirting all over his cock as you dig your nails into his back.

“Fuck!”

You both just stay there for a moment, living in the moment, and trying to commit to memory how perfect this moment is.

“I’m just tired of hiding, baby,” you breathe after a moment.

“I know sweetheart, I can’t wait to tell Jacob about us.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Sweetheart, it’s not going to be ideal, and I know we’ll have hell to pay, but I just want to be with you. That’s all I care about at this point. Hell or high water, we’ll finally be together for real. I’m in love with you and I want to finally express that the right way. Not just in private.”

“He’s gonna be so hurt, Andy.”

“I know, sweetheart, but he’ll get over it.”

“Can we just ignore our phones for the next few days? The trip is almost over and I don’t wanna deal with anything that’ll make us unhappy until we get back.”

“Sounds good to me, sweet girl. Come here,” he coaxes softly.

You move closer to him and lay your head on his chest, sighing in content as he wraps his arms around you.

There will never be a better feeling than being in Andy’s arms.

“Lets just do it when we get back. We can do dinner at our house and we’ll just...we’ll deal with it,” Andy suggests with a heavy sigh. “Our flight lands at 3:30...it’s time to get it over with. Tell Jacob then tell Laurie.”

“Oh God, Laurie.”

“Yeah, that’ll more than likely go worse than everything with Jacob.”

“What the fuck did we get ourselves into?” you laugh humorlessly.

“Love. We got ourselves into love.”

“You’re damn right we did,” you smile up at him.

For the rest of the trip, you and Andy ignore your phones and just focus on each other. You go site seeing, dancing, make love, watch ‘Roman Holiday’, make dinners, go out to the best restaurants, and just live in the moment. There’s no sense in pretending that going home won’t be chaotic, so you both decide that it’s best to just live in the moment until it’s time to go back.

Until it’s time to deal with the consequences of your actions.

“Andy, are you sure-”

“Honey, I know all of this is scary, but I’m not changing my mind. It’s gonna be rough, it’s gonna suck, but we’ll get through it,” he interrupts as you both lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling.

“I just want you to be sure that you want this. Want us. Want me.”

“I’m never gonna change my mind, sweetheart. I’m all in forever. Are you?”

“You’re the only one for me. Always have been and you always will be.”

“Just don’t forget that we have each other, okay? No matter how chaotic it may seem, you have me and I have you.”

“You don’t forget either.”

“It’s you and me,” he smiles down at you. “It’s me and you until the end.”

As you both lay in bed, trying to calm your nerves about heading back tomorrow, you know that you both have the same question on your mind: how the fuck do we approach this?

“Lets do dinner at the loft,” you suggest, catching yourself as you’re about to fall asleep.

“Hm?”

“I think it’ll soften the blow. Us telling him that we’re together and that we’re living together? It’s gonna be too much at once.”

“But you’re moving in-”

“No, I know, but lets just take it one thing at a time. If we tell him we went on vacation together, have been dating for a while, and live together, he’s gonna lose his shit.”

“You’re making a more than good point and that’s annoying.”

“Trust me, I don’t like it either. He knows that I’m moving and I’m sure that he’ll put two and two together once we tell him, but I think the visualization will be too much for him.”

“Alright, we’ll tell him at the loft and you’ll finally move home the next day?”

“I promise.”

“Then we better get some sleep. We have an early flight.”

“Sounds good...I love you, Andy.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

As you both settle into bed, anxiety at an all time high, you hope and pray that telling Jacob won’t be as bad as you think it will be.

Yeah, he’ll be hurt and annoyed, but he’ll hopefully get over it quick...right?

You drift off to sleep with that thought leading and you can only pray to God that you’re right.

Please, just this once, let things not be painful.

**

“What time are they coming over?” Andy yawns as gets out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, sitting next to you on the sofa.

“One, get dressed,” you laugh, “two, you need a damn nap.”

“I’m fine.”

“You know I can see you, right? That’s bullshit, you need rest.”

“It’ll just fuck up me adjusting to the time change. Lets watch something that’ll keep me awake.”

“Or, you can take a nap and store up your energy.”

“There is never going to be enough sleep in the world for me to tell my son that I’m in love with his best friend.”

“That’s fair.”

“What are you watching?”

“ ‘Chicago’”

“Of course you are,” he laughs as he wraps an arm around you. “What time will they be here?”

“In two hours.”

“Shit, okay.”

“Just take a deep breath, baby. At least we’ll tell him and have it out of the way. Like you said last week, he won’t be angry with you forever.”

“He won’t be angry with you forever, either.”

“I’m not worried about me. I can handle him hating me, I just want you two to be okay.”

“Sweetheart-”

“I mean it, Andy. Your relationship with him is more important than mine.”

Andy says nothing. He just cups your face and kisses you passionately, and you let yourself get lost in it.

Lost in him.

It’s not like you two mean to get carried away, but it’s so hard for you two to contain yourselves. Soon enough, the kiss leads to you two making out, making out leads to you straddling him and grinding yourself against him, which leads to you on your knees and blowing him, which is why your clothes and the towel he was wearing are now on the floor and he’s fucking you senseless.

“Oh my God!’ you whimper as Andy picks up his pace as he sits up.

“You take my fucking cock so well, sweet girl!”

“Daddy!”

“No one has ever been take me as well as you do, not even her,” he grunts and smirks when you clench around him.

You’ll never admit it outloud but you love it when he tells you how much better you are at pleasing than Laurie ever was. Yes, it’s mean petty, and a bit sick, but fuck all if it doesn’t make you feel all that much more special and important to him.

“You got so fucking wet just from sucking daddy’s cock! Should’ve tasted this perfect little pussy before I started fucking it!”

“Oh my...fuck!’

“Got your fucking cream all over my fucking cock! God, wish you could see...shit, you I could stay in this fucking cunt all day!”

“Daddy!’

“I should film me fucking you, just so you can see just how well this greedy little cunt takes my cock!”

“Please!” you mindlessly beg, with one hand clawing at the bed and the other clawing at his chest.

“Of course my good little whore wants to me film me filling up this pretty little pussy,” he smirks devilishly before slapping your clit.

“Jesus...fuck!”

“I’ll fill this pussy then, while I fuck your ass, you can watch how wrecked you looked while I fucked this sweet little cunt. You want that, sweet girl?”

You’re too blissed out to answer. Andy spits on your on your already soaked and sticky cunt, before starting to massage your clit.

“Can’t...can’t...daddy please!”

“You don’t cum until you answer me,” he husks. “Do you want to record us? Do you wanna watch how well you take daddy’s fat cock while I fuck your perfect little ass?”

“Yes! Yes, I wanna see how well...how I take your cock, daddy! How good I am at pleasing you!”

“Fuck, and the way your perfect tits bounce with every thrust! You’re so fucking perfect, sweet girl! Ya know, daddy thinks he’ll record you soaking the bed,” he chuckles before grabbing his phone off your nightstand.

You two always take it too far.

“Look at the camera, baby. Fuck, those tears! Feel too good sweet girl?” “Yes daddy! I need to...I need to let go!”

“Such a good little whore, keep your eyes on the camera as you cum, sweet-”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Jacob exclaims as he bursts through the door.

And busted.

“Jacob, get out!” Andy yells, instantly covering you as you cum hard and squirt all over Andy’s cock and the bed.

This is definitely in the top three moments you never want relieve or remember in your life.

“You fucking said-”

“Go wait in the kitchen! Get out!” Andy yells as you bury your face in the crook of his neck in an attempt to hide.

Jacob huffs before slamming your bedroom door shut. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go at all.

“Looks like someone found his key to my place,” you mutter as you fight off your tears.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“Why? Why the fuck did we have to get carried away now?!”

“I’ll go out there and-”

“No, we’ll go together. I just...I need a moment.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart.”

“This isn’t on you. You didn’t force me into anything; I wanted you. I always want you. I knew they were coming and I still...fuck!”

“We can do this another-”

“No, he’s already seen...we may as well just deal with this now.”

“Are you sure, sweetheart?”

“I’m all in,” you smile up at him weakly.

Andy cleans you up and the both take your time getting dressed, not sure how the hell you’re going to approach the current situation at hand. You pull on the AC/DC sweatshirt Andy got you and the Boston College sweatpants Jacob got you, while Andy opts to only wear a pair of black sweatpants.

If the situation weren’t what it is, you would drag him back to bed, but there’s obviously no time for that.

“Does anyone want a drink?” you ask as you two finally make your way out of your room.

“I’ll take one,” Sarah mumbles as she leans against the kitchen island.

“We need to talk about-”

“We’re definitely gonna talk about it. Do you want a drink?” you interrupt Jacob as you pull two glasses out of the cabinet.

“You’re acting like-”

“I’m not acting like anything, Jacob. You and I are about to have a talk about how I’ve been dating your father and in love with him for a while. I’m gonna have a fucking drink. How about you? Do you want something that’ll help the sting or do you wanna have this talk completely sober?” you ask, finally turning your attention to him.

He’s thoughtful before he speaks, “yeah, I guess I’ll take that drink.”

“You?” you ask as you turn to Andy.

“Yeah, I think I will, sweetheart.”

You pour the four of you a tall glass of bourbon, before handing them all out and standing at Andy’s side.

“So...lets have it out. Lets talk about...your father and your best friend,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink. “Lets talk about your father and your best friend being in love.”

~~

taglist:  @maroonsunrise83​, @emerald-evans​, @fuckingbye​,  @whxre4cevans​, @autumnrose40​, @greeneyedblondie44​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​, @sapphire-rogers​, @jamneuromain​

[elektrischemaidchen]

Lisztober #11: Symphonie Fantastique

Madness has taken hold at the Maidchen court. What always comes across as so easy here, is a real challenge, which unfortunately also takes its toll. I now have a real coffee problem by now, so I sometimes have heart palpitations at night. Then there's the incredible time pressure to present you with something cool that has to be ready in less than 24 hours.

If anyone asks why we're sitting in a three-person cell in a asylum by November, tell them it's because of absinthe, reading too much Lautréamont and hysteria. Please.

And that brings us right back to today's topic. Yesterday we escalated. Really. So much so that one girl is hoarse and the other is on the verge of tinnitus. Additionaly, one of our speakers died due to the volume and overdrive. Here you can listen a true masterpiece by Maidchen standards. We had to stop in between, because of laughing over and over, again and again. Both while writing and during the recording itself. Even while cutting. And even more so when the neighbor simply started practicing the tuba for unknown reasons. I didn't even know he had a tuba. It must be new. Totally surreal. But luckily, he didn't call the police on us. And you wouldn't believe how many takes we “indulged” in. (There were 26. 26!) I hope we can convey these moments of pure joy. PLEASE LISTEN TO THE WHOLE SONG TO GET THE VIBE! ;)

The reason for this was our contribution for today, Berlioz “Symphonie Fantastique” aka probably the creepiest piece of classical music that has ever existed. And thank you so much, @franzliszt-official for giving us this opportunity.

So, here’s our plot summary:

We really always wanted to write something about this masterpiece of brainf***, but unfortunately we didn't have the right idea - and you see: With a gun to your head, even the muse must speed up. Let’s see how far we can go with this. The plot of the symphony - just like the story before and after it - is so obscure that it has become a kind of running gag for us. Life (and art) can't write better stories. Never ever. And before I tell you the whole story, if you don't know it yet: there's a wonderful YouTube video with a short summary that I highly recommend you watch (the whole channel is amazing!!!). WTF, Berlioz, really, WTF.

Oh well, it's still about Liszt. Liszt was a huge fan (Really, Franz. I love you, but why? WHY?) of this symphony, just like Wagner (but nobody here give a shit about Richard‘s opinion anyway)  Franz may not have been directly involved in the creation of the “Symphonie Fantastique”, but his piano transcription and his interpretations made a significant contribution to this work becoming one of the most important works of Romantic music. Liszt made it accessible to a wider audience, interpreted it and developed it further, thus having a lasting influence on music history.

That's why we originally wanted to deal with the “Dies Irae” theme, but let's be honest… everything stinks against the main story.

And then there is the “Idée fixe”, the central theme of Berlioz's symphony, the beloved, who appears again and again musically as a motif and ultimately drives him mad. You could also apply this to the Maidchen. Fun fact: 97% of all our lyrics have a hidden hint to Franz. Sometimes so well that Lacelove doesn't even notice ;) Whoever finds them all: Get in touch. You'll get an exclusive shirt and your own song written. I promise.

Oh, dearest, dearest love, you surely will never know that I’m gonna write to you A symphony of love  in just one night Oh, dearest, dearest love, I only dream of you and in my longing I wish you were here Oh, dearest, dearest love, Where have you gone? You dance with a hundred others You erase me from your mind Oh, dearest, dearest love, Fate is not fair My sky, full of violins But my heart, it's so heavy So heavy I try to forget you On noble pastures The shepherds who soothed me Make their songs known But then I see you before me With a smile like a sword You belong to someone else now You're...not worth it That's why I'm whistling opium now And will just kill you. DIEEEE! DIIEEEEE! OH GOD! JUST DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE God alone knows, I will be judged for everything I have done and none of the heavenly angels will weep at my grave And so I see your face One last time before my face Oh, dearest, dearest love Why don't you save me? Oh, dearest, dearest love then it comes back to me You spawn of hell You are the queen of the witches. ORGIES! DAMN ORGIEEEEEEES! OH GOD! ORRRRRGIIIIIESSSS! Oh, dearest, dearest dearest, will you be angry with me? I invite you on the day of the premiere To find out Oh, dearest, dearest love then you'll be my wife Otherwise I'll threaten you with my own s*i*ide You know that very well IF YOU DON'T MARRY ME, I'LL K*** MYSELF! I'LL K**** MYSELF! AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!!!!! YAAAAAAAAA! And then, she actually married him.

[chenfordsbby]

"The Ride Along"

Season 1 Episode 7: “The Ride Along”

“Sergeant Grey informs Nolan and officer Bishop that they are going to have a movie director as a ride-along.  Bradford learns that his wife has been arrested for drug possession”

Original Air Date: December 4th, 2018

Written By: Robert Bella

Directed By: Cherie Nowlan

Before we start another episode, I just want to express all of the continued love and support and likes and re-blogs and thought and opinions on everything that I have shared so far!  I know there has been a multitude of re-watch blogs this hiatus so for everyone who has stuck with me and will continue to stick with me, the appreciation is endless so thank you!!  With that being said, shall we begin!

This is the best cold open we have seen so far, with the cutest premise of why it was done, “Make-a- Cop Wish Foundation”! One of the many reasons why this show is flat out amazing.

Ben is back, and putting Nolan in his place, get out there and stop being a sad little puppy.  I mean, Nolan is acting like a whiny child.  If this is how he is acting after the breakup with Lucy, who he was only dating for a few months, I can only imagine how he acted after his divorce from his wife of 20 years. 

Im glad there is another episode with Lucys hair still in her braid buns, I wish they lasted longer.

Grey asks what one of the worst days on the job can be with the vets giving all different answers, but according to Grey, it is The VIP Ride Along.  The officers have to limit the calls they take as to not put the VIP in any danger, have to make sure the VIP is getting treated as such, but also while still doing there job as well. “He doesn’t get anywhere near danger” Sounds like its going to be a slow day for Bishop and Nolan.  Every call that comes in over the radio gets bypassed by Nolan and Bishop until they get a less than thrilling one, no action to put the VIP in danger.   They respond to the call which seems to be innocent, but Bishop and Nolan enter a house unsecured which reveals a dead body.  VIP continues to want to toss money around to make this house call pass by, which shows his arrogance, this is something exciting for him, but for John and Talia, this is the proper protocol for what they have to do when put in this situation, this is still their job, and they need to do it the right way, no matter if VIP is there or not. 

Bishop and Nolan respond to another call, a family disturbance.  Nolan and Bishop both see that the distressed man has mental issues and they quickly de-escalate the situation without any force.  They inform the family that he will be placed in a 24 hour mental facility hold which is better suited for their brother than putting him in a jail holding cell.

Taking Ben’s advice, John accepts the invitation to go to VIP’s house party that night and maybe it was a good thing he was there too- he saved a girl from being roofied!  I still appreciate that Nolan is still the comedic factor of every episode in some way. The next day, while out on patrol John and Talia answer a personal call on Johns phone and it is VIP under attack from the family of the disturbance call from the previous day. Turns out maybe VIP isn’t such a bad guy after all- he called up the family from the previous days arrest and offered to pay for a spot in a mental facility and they took it completely the wrong way and attacked him.  Ive said it before and I’ll say it again, as much as Nolan is the comedy relief, he also has a way with his words and he knows how to use them well- he could talk himself and others out of any situation.  At the end of the episode, John video calls his son, and it’s the first time we see him being a dad!  Obviously we are going to see him again soon as John mentions he will buy tickets to fly his son out to LA!  This show continues to have a good balance between the professional and personal aspects of all of their characters!

This is the first we hear of Angela being interested in the open detective position.    Angela wants to move up, and thanks to Jackson, she has some inside intel.  When Angela and Jackson respond to the 9-1-1 call, they see a kid electrocuting himself, solely to get an adrenaline rush.  Jackson is quick to make an arrest, but Angela stops him after doing a quick canvas of the scene.  She spots all stolen hospital property,  and is already thinking 5 steps ahead: you have to go through all of the minnows to get to the big shark. 

Angela’s detectives skills are very visible and apparent this episode, she knows how good she can be as a detective and she wants to make it known.  Not only is she putting her potential detective skills in use, but she is also teaching Jackson how to long for a bigger picture in making certain arrests happen, also like thinking of a food chain, how to use the bottom feeders to get to the top.  At the end of the episode though, it turns out that Angela got way ahead of herself and the big guy on top turns out to be a dead end as Captain Anderson informs them.  The prospect of Angela potentially getting the tap and becoming detective got the best of her that day and she got a little over her head?  It’s upsetting for Angela, but Jackson is there for her every step of the way and continues to support her.  It is nice to see Angela and Jacksons budding friendship in this episode, it seems to be evolving into a really special bond. 

Now onto the #Chenford of it all (our favorite part of every episode)!

Tim and Lucy are still at the station, with Tim un-patiently waiting for Lucy to grab their shops gear when Grey summons Tim into his office.  Once in the office, Grey informs Tim of a recent drug bust, and the arrested suspect is Isabel.  You can see Tim’s heart drop into his stomach at that news.  I wish we could be inside Tim’s head here, because he is clearly reeling from this information.  Tim hasn’t seen or heard from Isabel in a year, and then after one random day while on the job, she’s back in his life and not the way that Tim was hoping for.  Every time he’s seen her since, its been at the police station, and it is evident she is till on drugs, which continues to cause major stress on their already strained marriage.  How much more can it take?  How much more can Tim take?

It’s like Tim is in the twilight zone for a bit this episode.  He doesn’t know what to think, act or feel, and is kind of just there.  For a man who claims to never show no emotion, you can see every one written across his face and in his eyes when he watches from afar, the detectives bring Isabel into the station.  I wish I could jump though my screen and give Tim a hug.  I feel like that’s what he needs right now, a hug from someone who will never let him go. (Ahem Lucy!!!)

The detectives let Grey and Tim in on what is going on with Isabel and what will happen with her now that she was arrested.  Isabel is deep with heroin, and with other heroin dealers. The detectives do make a good point, “Is he a cop or the suspects husband”; Tim is really caught between a rock and a hard place in this episode.  Does he put his feelings aside and practice what he preaches to Lucy and be the cop, or does he put his professionalism on the back burner and be Isabels husband in her time of need and help her out, even though she probably doesn’t deserve it.  What is Tim to do, or feel? 

Tim and Lucy bring in a suspect for public urination, but I think it is a ruse for Tim to get himself bak to the station to see Isabel, I mean, even Lucy knows this arrest is nonsense but she has Tim’s back, so she just does as he says.  Lucy spots Tim looking at Isabel and lets him know that shell keep an eye out for the detectives so he can have a conversation with Isabel.

We know what Tim and Isabels relationship is like now, but it makes me wonder what their relationship was like for the past 10 years.  How long was it good until it got bad?  How were they at work together? How were they like at home?  This episode makes me want to know so much more about Tim.  Isabel knows she’s in big trouble for heroin possession, which is why she asks Tim to do the unthinkable and get rid of the stashed heroin at her ‘sometimes boyfriends’ house so the cops don’t find it when they raid the apartment. I can only imagine how that made Tim feel- having your current wife talk about her boyfriend, like a knife to an already bleeding wound.  In my opinion, I think Isabel begging Tim to help her is out of pure selfishness.  She knows what will happen to her if she goes to prison, and she will do any means necessary to stay out of it, and that includes begging Tim to help her with this. In no way does she ever think about what she’s asking Tim to do will affect him, but why would she though.  It’s an interesting choice when the camera pans to Lucy right after Isabel asks him to hide her stash, I wonder why?

Later that night, a stealthy looking Tim breaks himself into Isabels apartment, he opens the heating unit and finds the heroin exactly where Isabel said it would be, and in that moment we don’t see what his decision is as he’s back on the streets.  Is this rock bottom for Tim and Isabel’s relationship?  When they exchanged vows 10 years ago, I don’t think Isabel asking Tim to confiscate kilos of heroin from her sometimes boyfriends apartment was a thought.  How does not only a strained relationship, but also strained marriage recover from a situation like this?  I mean, can it ever recover and go back to what it used to be?

Tim almost gets in his car until Lucy steps out of hers.  My first though when Lucy gets out of her car is how did she know that Tim was going to be there, but it brings us back to when Lucy was listening into the conversation between Tim and Isabel in the holding cell, Lucy has always been listening, this entire time. 

Lucy is there for Tim.  Just like we don’t know what Tim decided to do, neither does Lucy, but that doesn’t matter.  Tim and Lucy have only known each other for 2 months, but in those 2 months, Lucy has learned who Tim is.  I mean he doesn’t make it easy for her to forget.  Lucy knows that if he does help her, it will completely change him as not only a cop, but a person and maybe even as a husband.  That is why Lucy is there, to remind Tim of that, and after she does, is silence is loud. There is no response from him, he just walks away and I really do believe it’s because he knows that she’s right.  Lucy knows that if Tim did this for Isabel, it would just put her back on the streets, and right back into a cycle, learning nothing from it.  Lucy just knows. There was no reason why Lucy needed to show up that night to talk to Tim, she just knew that she had to, no matter how much shit she would get for it from him the next day. This was one of those moments that furthered their friendship, even though neither of them realized it at the time.  

The next morning, Tim pretends as if nothing happened from the previous night. His  decision is revealed that he actually didn’t help Isabel and he left the heroin in the apartment as told to us by Grey.  Lucy tells Tim that he did the right thing, so why does Tim look like he didn’t.  Not that Isabel deserves anything from Tim, but he apologies to her that he didn’t or couldn’t help her and she is quick to dismiss it; which just shows how much she isn’t willing to change.  At no point in this entire episode was Isabel thinking of anybody but herself whereas Tim was thinking of everybody but himself.  And by everybody, I mean Isabel.  She claims that because of what Tim didn’t do, that they will never know if she could’ve actually changed and gotten her life together, but I think that deep down, Tim knows that she would’ve just ended right back in the streets, repeating the same cycle.  And that’s why he made the choices that he made.  Isabel’s lashing out at Tim is misplaced and uncalled for and Tim just takes it, what else can he do, he just signed over a prison sentence to his wife. 

At the end of this episode, Tim is sitting in silence in his car when Angela and Talia show up and enter his space.  They already know what Tim is going to say, but that doesn’t mater for them, whether he likes it or not, the girls are there for him, jus like they have been and always will be.  That is what friends do.  Angela and Talia were friends with not only Tim, but Isabel as well, and watched the marriage start to fall apart and they are going to be there to pick up all of Tim’s broken pieces and help put them back together again; well mainly Angela, and a lot of Lucy, because Lucy is and will always be exactly who Tim needs, he just doesn’t know it yet!

______________________________________________________________

Honorable Mention: Lucy’s baby, her car!

Episode Peak: Jackson & Angela

Episode Pit: Distraught Tim

Quote of the Episode: “No, I came here to remind you that you’ll regret helping her.  Because it’s not gonna change her, but it’ll sure as hell change you” ~ Lucy Chen

Episode Rating: 8/10.  I enjoyed this episode.  Not only did it give us one of the best Season1 Chenford scenes, but it also shows the blooming friendship between Jackson and Angela! 

__________________________________________________________

Another episode down! Thank you, thank you, thank you again for reading and chiming in! I truly appreciate it! 7 episode down, only 91 more to go!!!!

Until next time on, "Get in the Shop"...

[greymalkinxiii]

Shells (edited)

(This is a short story I wrote years ago for a competition that never made it. It was heavily influenced by Greg Bear. I've recently gone back and edited it. Comments, feedback, and constructive criticism are welcome.)

Shells

C. Peterson

     “Excuse me? Are you paying attention? What was the last thing I said?”

     I stifled a groan, "You were saying that fleshies, I mean our Homosapien ancestors, are now a critically endangered species and that in spite of our best intentions to save them, their numbers continue to decline due to a loss of natural habitat, disease and lack of fresh food sources. It is estimated that there are less than 3,000 left on Earth." I felt like I was reading from a download. 

    "Very good, but please refrain from calling our ancestors 'fleshies,'" replied Ser Olswick with a nod of approval. "Now our time is almost up. Does anyone have any questions before I give your assignment? Anyone? No? Okay, make sure you download chapters 20-24, we will be going over them tomorrow. Class dismissed.”

   As soon as she said it her image faded, as did many of my fellow classmates. I lingered for a few minutes before removing the jack from the back of my neck. There was a zinging electrical noise inside my head and let me tell you, if you're not ready for it, it’s hell on the nerves. I needed an upgrade to wireless. 

   I stood up and stretched deep, feeling my artificial tendons and plastic joints relieve the tension that sitting for two hours straight can cause. I wondered if fleshies had this problem as well. The clock on the wall read 13:30, lunch time for my sector (if you considered densely packed proteins, lubricants and vitamins into a nearly tasteless paste to be food.) Time to hustle. Personally, I liked to sit close to the window to get a good view of Earth. 

   Leaving the safety of my room, I started down the hall to the elevators when I felt a tap on my shoulder from behind.

   "Hey Els." 

   "Vonne, " I said, turning around to face him, "what have I told you about doing that?"

   He smiled in an attempt to be charming. He had piercing violet eyes, neon blue hair and flawless bio-skin. He had chosen his layout well and if it wasn't for the wild colors, he could pass for a fleshie. "You told me not to."

"You could fry someone's circuits like that." I said it meaner than what I had intended. "So, did you need something?" I started walking, Vonne followed beside me.

   "No, not really. I did however want to tell you something..."

   I raised a brow, "Oh? What is it?

   "Next week, they're doing a research mission to Earth and they're taking applications after lunch today and tomorrow."

   I pressed the button for the elevator, "And what makes you think I'm interested?"

   "Isn't that your major? Earth study or something?"

   "Something like that." The doors opened with a hiss of air and we stepped inside. I hadn't quite picked a major that I liked yet. 

   "I'm applying for it, maybe you should too."

   I turned to him. "I thought your study was ancient Earth languages."

   "It is," he replied. "Come on, you're always complaining about how you're cooped up in your room all day, studying and uploading. Besides, you get paid in credits for it and it'll count towards your major. You want that upgrade to wireless, right?" He had a point and he knew it. 

   "I'll consider it, alright?" I said, turning to face him. 

   The doors whooshed open, "I know you will." He smirked and walked off, leaving me to stare after him in aggravation.

   Lunch wasn't promising, another day of tasteless nutrition sucked up through a straw. I wondered if it was purposely tasteless or if our receptors were designed to be dull. Meanwhile, an argument was raging at my table. 

   "They know they're a dying species, so why won't they just integrate already?" asked the green haired girl beside me. She had been in my class for almost a year, sat beside me everyday at lunch and I still didn't know her name.

   "Because they're traditionalists." Vonne chimed, sitting in front of me. 

   "Traditionalism has nothing to do with survival. Don't they understand that? They can keep their beliefs and still live longer, better, disease-free lives." I could tell she was getting passionate.

   "It has nothing to do with living longer or better. They see us as being inhuman and they don't want that. We're not natural." Vonne picked at his food with his straw. 

   "We're still human though. We have human thoughts, human emotions. We eat food, we sleep."

   "Not quite," Vonne put down his straw, "we're not flesh and blood and bone. We may come from them but we’re not quite human." He paused and looked at me. "We don't have beating hearts. Everything that we are made from is synthetic. We can even choose the way we look, from humanoid to a sphere. We can change our hair color, eye color, skin color at will with the right programs. We don't grow up... We never grow old..." He held my gaze, "What's your input?"

   I hated being put on the spot, Vonne knew that. The green haired girl eyeballed me like she was waiting for me to side with her. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts. "The core belief in traditionalism is that the body is sacred. Living breathing bodies, which we're not... Do you know the most basic differences between us and them?" I stared at her. "Each fleshie has 46 chromosomes, 23 from each parent. Those chromosomes tell them what they'll look like, what sex they are, how intelligent they'll be or their personality. Then those little fleshie babies live in a fleshie female's body for nine months before she pushes it out through a little tiny hole. Then that little fleshie baby grows up, eating and shitting and learning until he or she is old enough to replicate. The cycle starts all over. You know how we're made?"

   She frowned and then nodded, but remained silent. I continued, "Our 'parents' take half of their personalities and combine them, upload them into a program that sorts all of it out and then they leave us in there, bodiless minds floating around in programs that teach us the basics. How to speak, the importance of this slop." I pointed to my empty glass. "Teaches us basic manners. All the things that fleshies learn from their parents, machines and programs teach us. And after we've stewed long enough, 'matured' so to speak, we get to choose our design and then a machine downloads our being into it. Do you really think this life is any better than a traditionalist down there?' 

   "Sure, they're susceptible to disease, they die, and they're physically weaker than us but they're the ones that are truly human. Do you really believe that we're alive? We're machines created by them with their minds downloaded because some of them were afraid of death, but we're not human. We're just pretending to be what they are." I paused for a moment, contemplating the ramifications of my own argument, “why would they want to integrate when they’re the real deal?”

   I could feel their eyes burning into me, somewhere between amusement and awe. I focused my eyes to the Earth hovering below us, just outside the window.I decided that I would sign up for that mission after all. 

   I couldn't put myself into stasis. I was too wound up to sleep. It had never bothered me before, but now it was all I could think about. Fleshies. Humans. Homo Sapiens... Mechas. Machines. The thoughts rolled around in my head making it feel hollow. I climbed out of my pod and stepped into my tiny bathroom. The automatic lights sprang to life. The small room was too white and hurt my eyes. It didn't look real. I needed to add some color. 

   I caught my reflection in the modest mirror that sat awkwardly above my sink. I looked strange. I didn't remember choosing brown hair and green eyes but then again, I never really paid much attention to my looks. I walked over to the mirror, studying myself. I poked at the near translucent bio-skin which covered my feminine body. It squished, indented and went back to its original form. I studied my eyes, noting the details of little specks of gold against the green. I pulled at the strands of hair that fell over my face. There was red and blonde mixed in. It wasn't real hair though, too smooth. Little strands of plastic.

   "You're not alive." I whispered, staring at myself. "You're not human."

Wasn’t I though? Alive, at least a little?

   It was this admission that made me question that statement. I felt, I ate, I produced biological waste, I had thoughts and memories of my own. I feared death. I feared extinction. I feared… I was afraid, deep down of so many things. But did I have what fleshies referred to as a soul? Traditionalists didn't believe that machines could possess souls. That was why they wouldn't integrate. They would rather die than lose their souls, the thing that made them human. Even with those differences, and with our history that intermingled with their own, didn’t that make us the same?

  "Okay... That's enough of that." I told myself. "Els, it's too late to be debating things in your own head. Right? Right." 

It wasn't until the next week that we found out the results of our applications. 

   "Alright, before we go," Ser Olswick began, "Ser Els, Ser Vonne and Ser Amat, you are to report to deck 6, room number 1604 after lunch today. Also, your assignments are due next week. Please upload them before 0900 Wednesday. And please make sure you download chapters 34-39. Class dismissed."

   I unjacked myself a little too quickly in my excitement. Big mistake. The sensors in my spine and neck ached from the power surge. I had to wait until it subsided before I could stand up and when I did, it was heaven to feel that stretch. Or at least my version of it. 

   Vonne was waiting for me outside my door with a grin on his seamless face. "We're in."

   I pushed past him, "Pfft, you don't know that." 

   "I've got my sources," he replied as he turned and followed closely behind. 

   "No, you've got your power of educated reasoning." I picked up my pace.

   "Hey, come on. Slow down." I could hear his pantsuit rustling as he caught up.  I slowed my stride and let him walk beside me. "So, what? It's an educated guess but what else could they be calling us for?"

   I shrugged in an attempt to be apathetic but deep down, I was excited. If it came to pass, it would be the first time that I had ever left the safety of the ship. "Maybe our statuses have changed or we're being promoted because of our high marks," I offered. We stopped in front of the elevator and Vonne pushed the button. 

   He sighed, something I've never heard him do, "Do you always have to be so logical?" 

   I thought about it as we stepped inside the elevator. I turned to him and offered a weak smile, if only he knew what I thought about. "No, not always. Just when the situation calls for it." 

   He returned my smile, shook his head and pressed the button for the fourth deck. "You know Els, this is exactly why we're friends."

   Our hands brushed against each other, which caused my sensors to tingle. I pretended not to notice. "I know." 

   It never ceased to amaze me how at almost every lunch break, the green haired girl started some kind of argument against fleshies. 

   "All I'm saying is we have a zero percent crime rate. There's no rape, no war, no murder. We have no real central government."

   Vonne shook his head, "It's like you're describing a beehive."

   She tilted her head at him, "A what?"

   He looked at her as if she was stupid, but that look only lasted for a second, "Never mind." 

   I finished my paste and slid my cup out of the way, my eyes drifting towards the window. It was dark on the part of the Earth facing us. If it weren't for the sun's rays poking out from behind, it would've been difficult to see. "We're all the same," I mumbled.

   "What?" I heard the green haired girl say. 

   I didn't have to look at Vonne to know that he was raising an eyebrow at me. "We're all the same," I repeated.

   "What are you talking about?" she asked. 

   That feeling was creeping over me again, the one from the other night. I didn't know what it was or where it was coming from. It scared me but I couldn't make it go away. Vonne tapped my leg with his foot from underneath the table. I snapped back to reality. I met his eyes and for a moment, I felt better.

   "Fleshies would argue that we have no free will, that's what I mean. They would say that what we have is Communism because we're all the same," I replied to her. I tapped Vonne's foot with mine.

   "Of course we have free will," she countered back.

   Vonne eyed me and then turned his attention to the green haired girl. "We do, Amat, but to a point. All the evil thoughts and things that humans do have been removed from us. We know what those things are yet, we can't do them. It would literally hurt us to consider doing them. It would damage our circuits permanently to actually go through with it, right? Our free will is limited. Humans have true free will. All you have to do is look at their history."

   "So, then, who is the superior species? Us or them?" Amat was looking to me for answers. 

   "It's all subjective," I replied. "Just depends on which side of the fence you're on."

   We were headed for the elevators when Vonne pulled me aside and into a deserted hallway. I stared at him, confused, "Hey, what are you doing?"

   He put his hands on my shoulders, "I'm concerned."

   I backed away from him. I couldn't explain it but I felt nervous, "About what?"

   He stepped closer. "You're acting... off."

   I felt the wall against my back, "Off? What are you talking about?"

   Vonne moved until he was half a step away, he leaned forward and pressed his hands against the wall above both of my shoulders. His eyes were . It were daggers, sharp and unwavering almost as if he were trying to read my thoughts. If I'd had a human heart, it would have been racing. "I've known you since the womb program and I've never seen you so... so...," he paused, searching for the word, "I don't know how to say it." 

   "Compute it," I said in a hushed tone as I averted my gaze. 

   "... Sad." From my peripheral vision, I could see he was offering a weak smile as an apology for his bluntness. 

   I shook my head, "No... I'm not."

   For a moment, he leaned in closer and rested his forehead against mine, "Of course not." Vonne pushed off from the wall. 

   "Vonne, hey-"

   "Don't want to be late, right?" With that he walked off and turned the corner. 

   I balled up my fists and felt them slam against the metal wall behind me. I started after him with every intention of a confrontation but he was already stepping into the elevator. "Wait! Vonne!" I called out, "hold the doors!" I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and slithered my way inside as the doors started to close. Vonne stared at me in surprise. "You're right, okay?' I felt myself blurt out as our eyes met. "I'm sad and angry and I- I don't know why. Happy now?"

   He grinned, "Maybe, feel better?" I nodded. Admitting it felt good for some strange reason. He reached down, grabbed my hand with his and squeezed. "Good."

   He released my hand and I hid my smile.

   Upon entering room 1604-6, we were greeted by an odd pair. One, who identified himself as Ser Tulius, was tall and humanoid. His skin was a dark grey; his eyes were a reflective metallic blue. He had neither hair nor ears, his limbs and fingers were unusually long. The other one, who introduced herself as Ser Eres, was a baby pink sphere. Large eyes and lips were projected in front; robotic arms hung down at her sides with ultra slim fingers. 

   "Welcome," Ser Eres said with a smile, her hands together, "you two must be Ser Vonne and Ser Els. Sit wherever you wish."

   We sat by the green haired girl in the back. "Where were you two?" she whispered.

   "Never mind that," Vonne replied, "how many are here?"

   "Including us? Eight students in all. You haven't missed anything."

   I surveyed the room. There were five other students: two were spheres like Ser Eres who spoke to each other in pictographs; three were androgynous with no discernable gender, though they were humanoid like us. 

   Ser Tulius began, "Now that we're all here and settled, I'd like to welcome all of you. Over 100 students applied from various sectors last week however, eight were chosen because of your extraordinary marks in your sector and overall, the ship itself. Each of you will bring something unique to this mission, whether it be knowledge or particular skills from your area of study." He seemed to pause for effect, "The terms of the Earth mission were purposely vague so now, I shall hand it over to Ser Eres to provide the details."

   He gestured to Ser Eres as she glided forward, "Thank you, Ser Tulius. This is a peacekeeping mission to the planet Earth. While on the surface, in the area we've designated, you will be interacting with humans on a personal level. You will gain insight into the way they live on a daily basis. This project is designed to foster hospitable relations for the future as we have quite a bit to learn from each other.'

   "This mission will last one week and counts as credits for your classes. If this mission is successful the region, in which we are visiting, will allow eight students of their choosing aboard the ship to see how we live and function. Now, there are some basic guidelines to go over, Ser Tulius?"

   As she glided backwards, Ser Tulius stepped forward, "One of the many things to consider, while on the surface, is your conduct. Everything you do, may and will be scrutinized. It will also be a reflection of your fellow classmates and of the ship itself. You will be representing all of our people during your stay. Therefore, you must be respectful and polite.'

   "Secondly, please remember that humans are not primitive ape-like beings. They are reasonable and highly intelligent. Refrain from using offensive terms such as 'fleshies' or 'meat sacks'." Vonne playfully elbowed my arm at that part. "We would appreciate it if you did not pick arguments with the locals.'

   "Also, those who need to upgrade are required to do so. This will give you an immediate link-up to the ship if you ever lose your way, are stuck in a bind or need to contact the ship for any reason whatsoever. This upgrade is free and will be provided on deck 5, room 1501. Questions?"

   One of the Andros raised a hand, "When are we due to leave?"

   Ser Eres answered, "Wednesday at 0800. We are to meet on deck zero at docking bay 9 by 0730." She clasped her hands together, "Anyone else? No? We shall see you on Wednesday. You are adjourned."

   "There is no way that is going to fit in there." Vonne told Amat as she tried to stuff an overfilled bag into the compartment above her seat. 

   "I... Will... Make... It... Fit!" She shoved as hard as she could until she could close the door. She had to be quick before it flopped out. 

   "We're only going to be gone for a week, what could you possibly need while we're there?" Vonne asked as he glanced up at the bulging door above her head.

   "Well, you know, clothes, brushes, e-scrolls, my tablet-"

   "Your entire room," I chimed in. Vonne smirked at my remark.

   "Ugh! I just want to be prepared, that's all." she said as she took her seat. 

   Vonne and I sat down in the seats behind her, he even let me have the window seat. The pod shifted as the bay doors opened. There was the sound of the engines in the back, a low humming that wasn't all that unpleasant and then they went quiet. 

   He leaned towards me, "Look," he whispered. I turned my head and the light from the sun greeted me as it came over the moon's horizon. "You can see eternity from here." And you know what? We could. 

   Something stirred in me, something that I had never felt before. A long breath escaped as I stared out of the window. The Earth was coming into view and it felt... It felt as if I was coming home. It was such a strange feeling, since I had never been. I found Vonne's hand and squeezed it hard. I was so happy he was here and I wasn't quite sure why.   

   "Eternity is beautiful," I heard myself say. 

    He squeezed my hand back. "Sometimes..." he whispered in my ear, "you forget who you are or who you were when eternity is staring at you."

   I turned my head and met his gaze. At first I thought that he was just joking but the look on his face was genuine, almost remorseful. "Vonne?"

   He looked away, "There's something I have to tell you, Els."

   I touched his forearm, "Hey, are you okay?"

   "Yeah..."

   "What is it?"

   "I can't tell you here..."

   "Oh," I returned my gaze towards the window again.

   At that moment, the green haired girl's luggage compartment burst open. We both watched as her bag fell on top of her head, "Ah! Ouch!"

   We tried as hard as we could to stifle our laughter but at least the awkwardness between us had been broken.

   "Vonne! Els! Help me!" cried a muffled Amat. Vonne stood up and pulled the bag off of her.

   "See, I told you it wasn't going to work," he grinned.

   "Yeah, yeah," she smiled back and pulled it into the seat beside her, "it was worth a try."

   Earth was even more beautiful than the pictures I had seen, or through the window during our lunch break. We were stationed at New Wilmington, in what was once known as North Carolina. Old Wilmington had been long since claimed by the ocean, though you could still see the PPD tower jutting out of the water in the distance.

   Compared to the sterile environment of the ship, Earth was made up of a myriad of colors and textures, smells and sounds that assaulted and assuaged the senses. There was so much space here that it seemed to have a negative effect on some of us. There were many who preferred the confines of their rooms during down time.

   I loved it. The feel of a cool breeze against my bio-skin or the sound of the ocean lapping against the shore. The vast expanse of sky and land and grass all around me. I loved watching the birds and clouds so high up that I'd have to put a hand over my eyes because of the sun's glare. It was amazing to see the night sky with all the little specks of light against a black backdrop. It looked so different from here, even the sun and the moon seemed strange and far away. 

   During my own downtime, I explored. I would have preferred to hang out with Vonne but he was busy learning the region's dialect and syntax structures or maybe he was avoiding me. Perhaps a little bit of both. So, I walked and mingled with the local population. They were nice enough to show me the beach and to talk about Old Wilmington, as well as the plague that almost decimated their colony. They asked me questions about what I was made out of and if I had feelings. I asked them about their beliefs. They asked me about the ship. 

   The only thing that disturbed me was the cemetery. It was sad, no matter how well they had lived their lives or how much they could accomplish, the only thing they were guaranteed was death. Maybe that was why they created us and uploaded their minds into these plastic bodies with little to no memories. It wasn't just about survival, it was out of the fear of death and a fresh start. I finally understood, at least a little. When all the fleshies have disappeared, we will be all that's left. 

   It was the last night of our mission. I felt restless and conflicted. I knew I couldn't stay but, at the same time, I didn't want to leave. After this, the ship would seem so small and crowded. My room would feel like a box. I decided to take one last walk before we left in the morning. 

   I went down to the beach and sat. It felt like I was on the edge of the universe. The black of the sky and ocean blended together as one. The white foam hitting the beach and greeting my toes was time itself, reminding me that nothing is really forever. I picked up what the locals called a seashell. I wasn't sure of the color, all I could tell was that it was a spiral that was as long as my index. 

   There was a soft tap on my shoulder. I jumped, startled. Turning my head, I saw Vonne come around and sit down beside me. "You scared me!"

   "Sorry about that." He peered over and looked down at the shell in my hand. "What's that?"

   I handed it to him. "They call it a seashell. Pretty, isn't it?"

   He nodded as he inspected it. "Very. Some kind of animal carcass?" He gave it back.

   "Not quite... They said it's like the exoskeleton of a sea slug. It dies and tiny animals eat the soft part, then the ocean picks it up, brings it on shore." I wrapped my fingers around it. 

   He stared out into the void, "You know, it's beautiful down here. I wish we didn't have to go back." 

   I smiled to myself, "I know the feeling... I thought you were avoiding me, you know."

   "I promise you, I wasn't. I just needed some time to think." Vonne paused, I could feel his eyes on me. "Do you remember... on the ship... when I said I had to talk to you?"

   "Yeah... I remember," I rubbed my fingers over the shell's smooth body. 

   " I found some things out... before we came to Earth."

   "Oh?"

   " I hacked the mainframe of the womb program. We're not who we... who we think we are, Els."

   I turned to him, "What do you mean?"

   He stared into me, "Do you know why we're stationed on Deck 3?"

   "No..."

   "That's where they send us, Els... Original human minds, not constructs or partnered minds."

   "What?"

   "This... Is where we came from. There was a plague here, 20 years ago... They came to help... We didn't want to die so we asked them to upload our minds. And then, our minds floated around in the womb program and it... It filters out things, like memories. It kind of makes us feel incomplete. That's, that's why you feel weird, Els. You don't feel alive. That's why you're angry and sad and confused all the time."

   "That can't be true."

   "It is. That's why we don't want to leave... That's why it feels like home and why you're out here, right now. Why we wanted to come here."

   I stared at him, "Did we forget who we are or were because we're staring into eternity? Is that what it means?" He nodded, his arms wrapping around me. I crumpled into him, "Why did we... forget?"

   "I don't know," he whispered. He kissed the top of my head and then rested his chin on it, "Maybe it hurts too much to remember."

   "What made you want to find out?

   "I did it... for you. I don't want you to feel sad anymore. No matter what you say or what you believe, you're alive."

   "Don't ever leave me, okay?"

   "I won't."

   I sighed and pulled away. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against mine, like I had seen so many fleshies do during our stay. It was strange but not unpleasant. We could've stayed there until the end of time.

   For the first time, as the sun was coming up over the horizon, I felt alive. I never thought the end of the universe would be so colorful.

[storiesbyrhi]

Bones and All - Chapter 5: Puppet Master

Eddie Munson/Reader Series Masterlist

Warnings: canon typical violence/gore, cuss words, weird parental relationships, animal farming/slaughterhouse referenced; discussion of religion; no beta; updated each chapter

Synopsis: A Bones and All AU. What do you hunger for?

Chapter Summary: It's called sexual cannibalism.

“It’s called sexual cannibalism,”

“You made that up,” you accused, grinning and poking Eddie in the chest.

Holding his hand over his heart, he pouted. “I’m wounded. Right in the heart. If I was gonna make somethin’ up, it would be way more… nuanced than that. But it is what it is. They… copulate, then she eats him. Sometimes she starts before they’ve even finished,”

“Copulate?”

“Shut up. He lets her eat him. You know why?”

Eddie was so used to spending time alone that he had forgotten how much he liked to put on a show. He liked to tell you stories, not just read from the collection in your bags.

You had made it out of the farm and drove far away from Hawkins. On route to Iowa, you had stopped for the night. Eddie parked behind a sketchy looking bar next to a roadhouse and gas station. Its neon sign boasted 24/7 hours. You could park there undetected.

“I don’t know. Is it like bees? One sting and they’re done?” you tried to guess while running your finger over the tattooed spider.

Eddie had stripped down to his blue and white patterned boxer shorts. All of the inked skin became visible, the absolute center of your attention. You had asked what they all meant. The black widow between his collarbone and heart was introduced first.

“Solid guess, but no. Theoretically, she’s gonna have his babies now. He lets her eat him so she’s full and nourished. Strong for the babies,”

“That’s romantic,” you marveled.

Eddie watched you tracing the spider and smiled. “I think so too,”

“I know this one. Goya.”

Below the black widow was a haunted face, consuming the meat of a body much smaller than his own. Saturn devouring his son. On Eddie’s left forearm, a swarm of bats, and further up the arm, a wyvern.

“Why not a dragon?” you asked.

“If anyone asks… because I used to play D&D… but, ah, maybe also something about dragons being the heroes. Wyverns can’t breathe fire. They can just… bite. Well, in D&D they have poison stingers too but outside of that they’re just…”

“I get it… And this one?”

“The puppet master… It’s pretty metal, don’t cha think?”

You giggled, despite yourself. “But?”

Eddie’s smile faded. “But, ah… Who’s pulling the strings? This little guy, the monster… He’s just doing his little demon thing. But there’s this thing looming over him. Controlling him… They, the tattoos, all… make me feel less alone somehow… Is that dumb?”

“No. It’s not…”

Laying on your sides facing each other under the blankets, Eddie closed the space and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Do you ever feel like you’re losing your mind?” you asked.

“Um, you know… Just on a daily basis.” A wide smile, but it felt sad.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with us?”

Eddie started to shake his head immediately. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing.” He kissed you again, but on the lips. Arms snaked around you, pulling you into him.

…

Cedar Rapids wasn’t far; from Hawkins to there was technically only a six hour drive, give or take. However, you’d hung around Indiana too long. The farm, then stopping for the night. A sleep in, not waking up until someone banged on the side of the van.

“What the fuck you doin’ in there?”

Eddie rolled into the front. “Sorry, man. Must have lost track of time,” he lied in a fake apology.

“Yeah?” the guy said, eyeing Eddie off suspiciously. “Didn’t see you in there last night.” He flicked his head in the direction of the bar.

“Nah, we came from the roadhouse. Stopped for dinner. We’re on a little honeymoon road trip. You know how it is? See the lady in your life swallow a hotdog whole does something to a man.”

The guy frowned, confused at both the semantics and tone of Eddie’s words. “Are you taking the piss?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Eddie answered cheerily. “We’ll be off now.” He rolled up the window and started the van, not waiting for you to move.

“Eddie!” you squealed as he turned out of the parking lot and onto the road sharply.

“Mornin’ sunshine.”

Eddie kept his eyes on the road as you climbed into shotgun and started to look at your reflection in the sun visor’s mirror.

Cedar Rapids technically wasn’t far, but by lunchtime you realised Eddie was taking a not-particularly-scenic scenic route.

“Is the plan to follow the Mississippi north?” you half joked, watching the ‘Welcome to Missouri’ sign grow smaller in the van’s side mirror.

“Somehow never been this close to Ha- to, ah, Mark Twain’s hometown. Thought it might be cool,” Eddie explained, a small smile you couldn’t decode playing on his lips.

“Okay… How much time will this detour take?”

“You trying to get rid of me that quick, huh?”

“No! No, I just-”

“I’m joking! Jeez. You’re particularly tightly strung today,” he said, reaching out to ruffle your hair.

“Fuck off.”

Eddie gasped. “Fuck off?! Me? Why are you being such a meany?! You’re the one with Tom Sawyer in the back.”

You sighed, looked out the window for a few seconds then back at Eddie. His expression was neutral, posture relaxed. He managed to look good, even sleeping out of a van and overdue for a shower.

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie held his hand out, letting you take it and hold it in your lap. You looked down, studied the silver rings he wore. He could drive with one hand for miles if it meant you’d stay like that.

“Let’s get brunch… You can’t feel entirely shit with a warm meal in your belly.”

 “I’m always hungry,” you whispered sadly.

“Did it… Did it get worse the older you got? I feel like I hit sixteen and fuck, you know? Four years later and it’s… it’s…”

“Yeah… Yeah, I know.”

There were other times it felt like it got worse too. When characters in the books you read kissed. When a stranger on the bus smiled at you and you imagined your whole life together, fleeting normal thoughts that would not and could not ever eventuate. And, sometimes when the sun caught Eddie’s eyes and that deep brown turned golden. When Eddie scrunched up his nose like a bunny. When Eddie put on a funny voice or folded hair behind your ear or was anywhere near you. Fuck.

It was the same for Eddie, but he’d simplified it in his mind. He knew that being turned on meant fighting off the violent hunger. It’s why he, beautiful and charming, had limited experience with girls. Not nothing, he’d argue, but not a lot.

“I always need a smoke after,” Eddie said. That explained the smell of cigarettes.

“I’ve never seen you smoke,”

“You’ve never seen me eat,”

“The cowboy?”

“Yeah. Before I came out the… building. Whatever it was.”

You nodded, a myriad of colourful questions building up in your mind, like a kaleidoscope of curiosity, blood, and loneliness. None of the words seemed more urgent than the next, so you couldn’t focus.

“So when you said brunch… Did you mean… Like…” You kept one hand in Eddie’s and moved the other to tap on your window. The landscape wasn’t exactly a bustling little neighbourhood of corner coffee shops and alfresco dining.

 “Really riding my ass today, huh? We have supplies, Y/N. Haven’t you ever wanted to have a cute-as-shit picnic on the side of the road?” 

A little down the highway, Eddie pulled off onto a dirt road that led to what appeared to be a wooded area. The trees stood tall and proud, but in precise lines, neatly planted to be harvested when they were all grown up. There was nothing whimsical about the woods. They were born to die.

If Eddie thought it was morbid, he didn’t let on. He happily collected food and tools from the back of the van, then lead the way. He happily made arguably the best camp stove noodles you’d ever had, though they did little to satisfy you in any meaningful way. He happily watched you lay back on the blanket he’d set out, after you’d slurped down the noodles.

Eddie moved everything aside and laid next to you on his stomach, arms acting as a pillow. “I’m gonna tell you something. You gotta promise not to get angry.”

Immediately, your skin went cold with goosebumps and you felt your bottom lip being to quiver. Just as quickly you pulled yourself together and concealed it all.

“We’re not in Missouri because of Mark Twain- No, well, we are, but not just for him,” Eddie said.

There was a lightness in his voice and the final few syllables of his sentence had to form around a grin. It was then you realised your new world wasn’t about to explode.

He asked, “Do you know the name of the town? Where he’s from?”

“No,”

“Promise you’re not about to hit me,”

“Wh-”

“Just promise!” He was like a kid on Christmas.

“Fine. Fine. I promise,”

“Mark Twain was born-”

“Florida,” you interrupted.

“What?”

“He was born in Florida. Moved here when he was a baby.”

Eddie frowned, thought, then continued. “Okay. Mark Twain was born in Florida. Then, as a baby, moved here to…” he paused, gracefully motioning to you at the point of corrections. “Hannibal!”

The grin on his face was manic. He waited for your reaction.

“Hannibal?”

“Yeah! We’re going to Hannibal!”

You shook your head a little and shrugged.

“You’ve read King and Farris and like, Levin. You’ve got to have read Red Dragon!” He seemed genuinely outraged that you hadn’t connected the dots.

Oh. “Eddie…”

Hannibal the cannibal.

Eddie rolled onto his back and cackled, clapping his hands together.

“Seriously?”

He kept laughing.

“He’s the villain, you know. He’s beyond hell and all that biblical crap. He chooses to… to eat… to- We’re nothing like him.”

Eddie calmed down and lolled his head in your direction. “And just who crowned you queen of all that’s good and proper?”

“You don’t understand,”

“Y/N… you know I do… If we don’t laugh, what are we meant to do?”

You sat up and crossed your legs. “Do you wish you were normal?”

The smile dropped from Eddie’s face. “Think the real question is, even if we didn’t eat, would that guarantee that we’d be normal?” He could tell you weren’t impressed by his non-answer. “Of course, I wish I was normal. You know that… So, what are you really asking?”

You tried to think of anything other than the truth.

“Will Hannibal be a good place to teach me how to drive?” you asked, rather than answered.

Eddie let it slide. “If it’s good enough for Huck, it’s good enough for us.”

…

“You’re doing fine. You’re doing good,”

“Fuuuuck,” you whined in response.

Whenever you needed to switch gears, you’d forget to press the clutch. Crunching metal on unhappy metal.

“Just go slow. Stay in first gear. Just get used to steering.”

The backroads of Hannibal weren’t busy, but they weren’t exactly desolate. You’d never drawn more attention to yourself in all your life. Eddie was sure to flip the bird to each and every person that honked at you.

“Okay, that’s enough for today,” you said sharply, only pulling halfway off the road before slamming the hand break on and opening the door.

Eddie bit back a smile as you swapped seats.

“Alright, let’s go look at some lame tourist shit, then head north,”

“Yep,” you agreed.

“Find something to listen to?”

“One of your tapes?”

He nodded. There were a lot of cassettes in Eddie’s duffle; you’d already cycled through them at least once. While you were pulling his bag over to find something, Eddie switched on the radio. 

“…You know, we are all brothers and sisters even though we don’t often act like it. everyone in line at the supermarket checkout, everyone waiting with you at the stoplight, everyone you glimpse in passing on your way to work every morning…”

Eddie realised what it was before you did. The tell-tale self-righteousness in his deep but trembling voice gave the preacher away.

“That colleague of yours who can’t seem to say anything nice to or about anybody: she’s your sister. That thief who broke into your house and emptied out your jewellery box: he’s your brother. We must forgive one another!”

It was live. Voices called to the preacher, a chorus of, ‘Amen!’ and ‘Tell it, Rev!’

He went on, “And yet we cannot forgive one another until we have forgiven ourselves. That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Forgiveness.”

You’d stopped looking for a tape, caught in the preacher’s grace.

“Anywhere you go, anywhere in this country, there’s nothing but Madonna and Jesus freaks on the radio.” Eddie yawned, his hand then reaching out to turn the radio off.

“Wait,” you stopped him.

“…The Lord says, ‘There is no peace for the wicked.’ Don’t we all want to know peace? Yes, yes, I tell you! Even the wickedest man alive years for peace…”

“Don’t tell me you’re buying this? Sure, they lure you in with all the happy stuff about love and acceptance, then after they’ve got you, they start telling you they need more money and Jesus doesn’t want you for a fair-weathered friend.”

You turned the volume up.

“Now I want to tell you something. We’ve been doing these Midnight Missions all across the country for quite some time now, and I’ve heard from all sorts of people. They’ve sinned against themselves, and they’ve sinned against each other. They stand up and they say, 'Reverend, sometimes it’s just too hard to be good.' And I say to them, Let the Lord in. Let Him in and He will show you how to be good.”

Eddie’s hand darted out and he turned the radio off. After a few moments of silence, he gently said, “I’m not… not gonna judge you or anythin’, but I really wouldn’t’ve pegged you for a… believer?” He’d hesitated over the last word, deciding on the right one.

“I’m not,” you clarified. Eddie looked relieved. “I just… It must be nice to have faith.”

Eddie’s thumb tapped on the steering wheel. “I don’t think… there’s a place for us in their picture of the world. If they knew what we were, they’d think hell was too nice for us.”

Saying nothing, you looked down at your lap of tapes. When you started to look through them again, Eddie felt guilty.

“Besides, Jesus wouldn’t want me on my best day, let alone my worst.” It was a joke, but when you didn’t laugh or respond at all, Eddie’s other fingers joined in the tapping.

You put a mix tape in, not really caring about the music.

“If there’s a hell, you don’t get sent there for things you can’t help,” Eddie nearly whispered.

You looked at him. “What if we were meant to… you know, kill ourselves.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes. “Pretty sure that’s a sin?”

“What if…”

He waited for you to finish, but you never did.

The town of Hannibal was whizzing by. It wasn’t until you’d crossed it, turning onto a road that would lead out of it, that you both saw the Ferris wheel. The sun was low, the sparkling lights on the wheel twinkling up in the dusk sky.

A carnival.

The mood in the van flipped in an instant. You looked at each other, grinning. You forgot about everything – the letter from your mum, heaven and hell, and all the carnival nights you’d taken away from other people. For that one perfect second, you even forgot their names.

End Note: At the age of four, Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name of Mark Twain, moved to Hannibal, Missouri. It became the inspiration for St. Petersburg, the town featured in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. ✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫* the more u know *✫ﾟ･｡*.☆.｡ﾟ･ﾟ*✫

They do not go to Hannibal in the book. I suspect this is because it’s a dumb joke but I am still proud of it.

The preacher's dialogue and some of Eddie’s lines are directly lifted from the novel. Again, I urge you to read it and see how insanely eddiecore it is.

Fic Taglist: @harrys-tittie @azydrateanatomy @pussy-drunk @mrsdollardog

Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooo-expressooo-blog @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @lacrymosa-24 @mel-the-fangirl

[yelena-bellova]

Hi!!

2- Headcanon Another headcanon. please of Keeley telling Rebecca about her break-up with Roy- kinda miffed we didn’t see that.

I loved your last Headcanon ☺️

I LOVE this one!! I too was miffed we didn’t get to see the breakup/Rebecca’s reaction. Then again, it may have hurt even worse 😭

So my headcanon for how Keeley and Roy broke up is Roy began to pull away, Keeley noticed but didn’t bring it up, eventually it got to a point where she flat out told him he was doing it and that’s when he broke up with her. He didn’t give her a real reason (hence why Keeley felt like she’d done something wrong/contributed to it) and just ended it.

Leading us to the next day…(this is also pre-KJPR’s official opening)

Since the season’s over, Rebecca’s off-duty and at home that weekend.

Typically on Saturday mornings, there’s a text from Keeley about something, but not that day.

Rebecca decides to text her instead. Some meme or something to do with her breakfast.

No answer.

Rebecca doesn’t grow worried because Keeley’s probably with Roy.

It’s not till a few hours later that she gets concerned.

She sends another text jokingly asking where she is.

No response.

She sends one more.

Nothing.

She calls.

No answer.

Finally, Rebecca gets truly concerned and drives over to Keeley’s place.

When Keeley answers the door, she’s a snotty, puffy, red eyed mess in her pajamas.

This leads to a couch conversation where Keeley’s cuddled in Rebecca’s arms like a baby kangaroo and word vomiting the whole chain of events back to her.

Rebecca’s supportive, of course, but is also fighting the urge to power walk to her car, beat down Roy’s door and scream at him.

There’s not much that she can actually do, but when Keeley says that everywhere she looks, she’s seeing Roy (this is less than 24 hours after so his shit is everywhere) Rebecca tells her to pack a bag because she’s staying with her for the night.

Keeley tries to argue and say that she’s a big girl but dissolves into another fit of tears before she can finish.

Keeley vents, yells and cries the whole night, there’s a lot of wine and chocolate involved and Rebecca supports her through all of it.

They end up sleeping in the same bed like little kids and while nothing’s fixed, Keeley wakes up the next morning feeling like even though everything sucks, she’s got one person who isn’t going to leave her 💖

[starlightkun]

the dragon's happily ever after ❧ jisung [teaser]

❧ teaser word count: 818

❧ warnings: just some cursing for the teaser!

❧ genre: fluff, modern magical creatures au, fantasy au, college au, dragon jisung, human reader, ft. various other magical dreamies & human renjun, fake not dating/secret dating trope, same universe as strawberry sunday

❧ extra info: this work is set in the same universe as strawberry sunday but can be read as a standalone! there is no continuing plotline between fics in this universe, they simply take place in the same world/magic system and may have overlapping characters (neos may pop up in more than one work!)

❧ estimated release: saturday, august 12, 2023 2:00 p.m. eastern time

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ explore the strawberry sunday universe more here!

“Come on Jisung, I’ll drive,” Chenle called for his roommate, spinning his keys around his finger.

“Sure, hold on!” Jisung said back, waiting up to say goodbye to you.

“Renjun, you still up for ramen and ranting?” You clasped your hands together hopefully as you looked at your friend. It was ritual for you and Renjun to get together and rant over extra-spicy ramen whenever some drama had gone down within your department at the school. There’d been some going on this past week, and you and Renjun decided that late-night after studying was the perfect time to talk shit.

Except, he and Chenle seemed to lock eyes for a brief moment. And then, Renjun was checking his phone, throwing up his other hand, and sighing.

“Ah, Y/N, you know what,” he clicked his tongue. “I am so sorry, but I got a text from my dad while we were in that study session and he says the cat is sick. I’ve really got to go.”

“Your parents live three hours away—”

“Uh, Jisung! You like ramen!” Renjun gestured at the dragon that was still waiting next to you. “Why don’t you take Y/N for some ramen? Just- just you two?”

“That’s it! You’re taking too long, Jisung! I’m leaving you!” Chenle yelled dramatically from the front, giving his keys one last jangle before he quite literally ran off through campus.

You were too distracted watching Chenle incredulously to notice that Renjun had escaped too until you turned back around to talk to him. Then you realized that all of your friends had mysteriously dispersed.

“What just happened?” Jisung asked, looking around confused.

“I think… I think they set us up,” you scratched at your head.

“Like, a date? Don’t they…”

“I think they think they’re plotting to make us date.”

He blinked at you. You grabbed his arm to start walking down the sidewalks. “Come on, we can at least talk about this over some ramen.”

“Didn’t you tell them?” Jisung’s face seemed as though it was permanently stuck in the same bewildered expression. You two were side by side at your favorite 24-hour ramen bar by the university, and you had finally filled him in on what he missed in the study room.

You slurped up a noodle. “I thought you did.”

“I thought you were going to!”

“They were your friends first!” You retorted indignantly.

“Hey, I only claim Chenle,” he held up his chopsticks and spoon defensively. “The others just came along.”

It was true that Jisung had befriended Chenle first, and the others just sort of came with the fairy. After all, dragons did tend to be solitary creatures, and on top of that, you’d be hard-pressed to find one hanging out with a dryad on purpose, much less two.

“Speaking of Chenle, how did you not even mention it to him? You live with him!”

“Well, every time I was going somewhere with you I’d be like ‘Oh, I’m going to wherever with Y/N’ or ‘I’m going to Y/N’s place.’ It’s not like I could call you something else.”

You tilted your head curiously. “Something else?”

“Like… you know… my girlfriend,” Jisung mumbled, very focused on stirring up some of his broth.

“Well… you could.” You were getting warm, and not from the spicy ramen.

He looked up at you, a smile growing on his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“Okay, on one condition.” He set down both his utensils, holding up the number one.

“What’s that?”

“You call me your boyfriend.”

“God you’re dumb sometimes,” you shook your head, but still had fondness in your tone and your actions as you brought your hand up, all five fingers up. “Yes, duh.”

Jisung got the idea, opening the rest of his hand back up to lace all of his fingers with yours. You squeezed his hand, your stomach doing flips at the softness in his eyes as he looked at you.

The two of you brought your hands back down to keep eating, and your boyfriend circled your conversation back around to the entire reason you were here in the first place.

“Anyway, our friends.”

“Our friends,” you repeated unenthusiastically. “So… how are we going do it? They’re going to be annoying no matter how we go about it.”

“Good point. You know… they’re going to keep meddling if we don’t say anything. What if we just… let them?” He suggested.

“You’re proposing we fake not date and let them all run themselves in circles trying to connive us into dating?”

“How long do you think it’ll take them to notice?”

“A month,” you snorted.

“A month?” He scoffed. “Come on, they’re a bit dumb but they’re not that bad. Like, two weeks.”

“I think part of it’s going to depend on how stupid they think we are.”

That looked like it changed Jisung’s mind. “You’re so right, a month at least.”

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