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compiling a far from comprehensive list of palestinian fundraisers i'm aware of that are far from their goal (less than 25% raised) and/or stagnating. i will try to update this post at least every couple days - please check the op for updates.
if you can donate at least USD $15 (€14, CAD $20, kr160, £12) and dm me proof, i'll offer a colored sketch commission akin to these drawings (more details here). [EDIT: not accepting new donation comms at the moment until i've worked through my backlog; check back in a week or two!]
even if you're not able to donate that much or at all, please share, and follow the links to the fundraisers - there's much more important information for each one than i'm able to quickly compile into one list.
(created aug 2, updated aug 15)
Hazem Khalil (hazempalestine) - vouched for by bilal-salah0, who has been vetted - €6,015/50k (USD $6,556/$54.6k) raised to evacuate 7 family members
Mohammed Haboub (mohammedhaboubsblog) - shared by 90-ghost - kr85,347/300k (USD $8,108/$28.5k) raised to evacuate 4 family members, along with paying for rent and medical expenses - URGENT RENT + MEDICAL COSTS
Walid Al-Qatrawi (waled-family, waledps) - shared by 90-ghost, instagram - €2,164/€50k (USD $2,362/$54.6k) raised to evacuate a family of 5 with a child on the way - GOFUNDME HAD TO BE CLOSED, DONATIONS STAGNATING SEVERELY
Bilal Abed Rabou (bilalassadabedrabou) - verified by 90-ghost - €7,169/80k (USD $7,814/$87.3k) raised to evacuate a family of 3 + living and education expenses
Israa Alazaiza (isra-elazaiza, sarah-family) - verified #236 - CAD $5,480/48k (USD $3,946/$34,593) raised to evacuate 9 familly members - DONATIONS STAGNATING
Abdelmutei Al-Habil (abdelmutei) - verified by 90-ghost - €8,985/50k (USD $9,794/$54.6k) raised to evacuate 7 family members
Heba Al-Anqar (heba-baker) - shared by 90-ghost - €3,170/60k (USD $3,455/$65,499) raised to evacuate 7 family members + provide for living expenses - DONATIONS SLOWING DOWN
Salahaldin Hor (salahaldinhor) - shared by 90-ghost - €5,032/40k (USD $5,485/$43.6k) raised to evacuate 5 family members + medical and education expenses
Mohammed Atallah (mohammed-atallah) - shared by 90-ghost, organizer's instagram - €11,542/82k (USD $12,581/$89.5k) raised for a bone grafting procedure + rebuilding family home
Fatima Alanqar (fatma93-gaza) - shared by 90-ghost - €4,730/20k (USD $5,156/$21.8k) raised to support a family of 7
Mohammed Matar (matarmoh) - verified by el-shab-hussein - €1,119/€20,000 (USD $1,220/21.8k) raised to evacuate 5 family members, including a 6 month old baby daughter
Mohammed Iwais (mohdiwais) - shared by 90-ghost - kr156,227/500k (USD $14,842/$47.4k) raised to evacuate 10+ family members
Ahmed Abu Shammalah (ahmed8311) - verified by el-shab-hussein - €12,051/100k (USD $13,136/$109k) raised to evacuate 8 family members and provide living expenses - DONATIONS STAGNATING
Wafaa Resh (wafaaresh) - shared by 90-ghost, tiktok - €26,122/100k (USD $28,473/$109k) raised to support 15+ family members
Musab Abed (musababed) - shared by 90-ghost - £3,780/8k (USD $4,838/$8.7k) raised for living and education expenses
Fadi Zakkout (burningnightgiver) - shared by 90-ghost - CAD $10,310/50k (USD $7,423/$36k) raised to evacuate children who have been separated from their parents; their daughter Wafaa needs insulin
Malak Dader (malakabed) - verified by 90-ghost - €5,646/€25k (USD $6,154/$27.2k) raised to support a family of 6 with living and medical expenses + education
Shymaa Taiser (shymaafamily) - #141 - USD $10,878/$50k raised to reunite a father with his children in Gaza and provide for medical expenses
Yousef Hussein (adham-89) - shared by 90-ghost - USD $11,001/50k raised to evacuate 6 family members - DONATIONS STAGNATING
Sujoud Al-Sarsawi (sojid222) - #155 - CAD $10,587/45k (USD $7,623/$32.4k) raised for a single mother and her 3 children - DONATIONS STAGNATING SEVERELY
Siraj Abudayeh (siraj2024) - #219 - CAD $36,515/82k (USD $26,291/$59k) raised to rebuild a family home
#some notes: will probably make a separate post w more commission details at some point depending on how many dms i end up getting.#i will try to regularly rb this post and update it every couple days - will continue sharing other fundraisers but these are the ones i'm#focused on for now. other fundraisers will likely have queued rbs to space them out a bit for engagement#i work 5 days a week and am often out of the house these days - will try to at least respond to any asks/dms day of or the next day#and get to comms within a week or two. thank you 👍
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kim seokjin, according to @aprylynn happy birthday apryl! ♡♡♡
#aprylynn#bts#btsedit#btsgif#dailybts#btsdaily#jin#seokjin#kim seokjin#dailybangtan#userbangtan#trackofthesoul#usersan#heyryen#annietrack#userpat#tuserandi#raplineuser#userdimple#rjshope#ksjedit#***#!!!!!!! happy birthday queen apryl !!!!!!!!#i just wanted to do something for you since you've done so much for me with your kindness and your support#and you deserve all the nice things in the entire world#and while i try to find all those nice things i can at least give u jins face u kno#and i had to use ur iconic tags bc you always make me laugh every single time i go thru my notes#ur just like me fr fr ur always in my brain i swear ;o;#ANYWAYS !!!!!! i hope u have the best day and i hope you are loved and cherished and that you get yummy treats and lots of presents#and are surrounded by people that love you and adore you uwu
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can pro-endo and/or pro-ship blogs interact with this post or follow us or send asks or something? weve been dealing with right-wingers & medicalists in our notes for like a week now and its been a bad time. and also we wanna make more mutuals on this blog <3
#you are invited to spam our notes as much as you want. enjoy#💿 red#🍒 cranberry#pro endo#endo safe#endos please interact#proshippers please interact#profic#proship#endogenic#if this post flops at least i tried ok -red#plural system#pluralgang#traumagenic#actually plural#actually multiple#multiple system#median system#proship please interact#anti anti#plural community#proshipping#anti radqueer#i am literally just tagging everything i can think of#we want to make more mutuals + also if i didnt have to look at n*zi bootlickers every time i opened my notes that would be great#i muted the post but you get the point i think#and yes i will block every rq i come across. but that is par for the course these days#hell even if you feel like sending us anon hate i will probably cherish it#its gotta be better than the rightwing echo chamber. i am going insane
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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Thinks about my next series again... I drew the icon for it!
I'm planning to have it launched within a year! I'm hoping for summer 2025. I want to make a prelaunch page before Time and Time Again ends so people can subscribe if they're interested, but I'm worried the series return would be too early...
#SORRY HAHAHA REPOSTING IMMEDIATELY#i. it. IM SORRY okay the.#i had 'im not interested in the comic' as an option but it immediately made me feel bad#DONT FEEL BAD IF YOU PICKED IT i put it there#i just realized its not really a helpful metric to me at all!#im making the comic either way!#so i just want to gague interest. disinterest doesnt do much for me. you can come and go as you please!#just wanting to retain readers as much as possible but without losing them due to taking too long#ahhhh the balance of marketing. a beautiful beast she is.#anyways yeah hoping to launch like about as tta is ending#or like at LEAST a prelaunch page by then#im also not intending for the prelaunch page to be like. announced...#moreso just a link i append on art for the series!#just so when a drawing of zagan gets 500 notes#people who are interested in what hes from can. see that...#anyways. sorry i haven't been posting work is wild im going 70+ hours a week again i am so tired#not much time to draw non work stuff#im hanging on by a thread of having multiple projects i can bounce between again#and sometimes thats this one! so heres the results of some mental health work variety#we were legion#polls#sorry for the instant repost. in my defense. i am exhausted.#i can not wait until im making a different comic that i can do a fucking. normal ass schedule with#where im not every week gasping for breath in some kind of bad at swimming metaphor.#anyways if youre not interested dont tell me. it doesnt matter to me. no offense but i just dont wanna hear it.#i want to make the comic and my audience as much as i love you all is not going to have any control over what i do with my art#im gonna make this comic if i only get it done on weekends after getting home from the fuckin movie theater#i am not working for webtoon again wnd im not forcing myself into the dirt for comics again#but im also never gonna stop making them. just need to build a healthier relationship!#FUCK I MADE IT A ONE DAY POLL.
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i did not realize going into this season i would come out shipping gorgug with three different people i was coming into this with the biggest donospring mindset and yet here we are
#crunchyposts#i miss zelda but gorgug and mary ann and gorgug and unit............#they can all date i dont give a shit#zelda is a purely emotional thing logically i know its good they broke up like normal teenage relationships#BUT i do also think gorgug dating both unit and zelda and/or mary ann would be a good extension of his character arc#melding barbarians and artificers !!!!!!!#the chill part of his personality (mary ann and zelda out of combat) and the more emotional side (them IN combat)#also his parents are swingers he knows polyamory i believe in my ship.#side note first time ive genuinely shipped more than two people very happy day for me !!!!#usually i just have one monogamous ship and some others that i am chill w but this time its like no. all of you kiss#d20#fh#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high spoilers#fantasy high junior year spoilers#WAIT CONCEPT. i like gorgug and zelda together but logically i feel like they just wouldnt get back together#in hs at least i still love them but thinking logically rn i think theyve done normal growing apart#concept before emotional brain comes up w ideas to get them back together. gorgug and unit and mary ann. and then mary ann and zelda#zelda learning from mary ann how to not give a shit and mary ann learning from zelda how to be a bit better to her friends#alright ive solved every problem i have making this headcanon lol#edit ok ive made up my mind. all of them date. i dont know unit well enough to see how theyd be good in the ship#just like date gorgug MINIMUM but mary ann and zelda and gorgug all dating each other. ive created the best case scenario for me lol
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replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”
#da#my posts#specifically the hostile ones hanging out in the hinterlands for no good reason.#at least they gave the crazy hostile templars a motivation. a really weak one but still. At least they have a goal.#‘kill at mages. don’t gaf about anyone else’ ok. fine.#‘kill everyone you see for some reason. we need to steal their belongings I guess????’ insane. what the hell.#the could have at least done some blood magic about it. it would have been a boring repeat of da2 themes but at least there would be themes?#it’s just so STUPID. especially coming off of a fresh da2 playthrough.#like there’s some dumb stuff in da2 to give you an excuse to fight both mages and templars as generic npcs don’t get me wrong.#but not this much. and unlike da2 you and your companions comment on it as if it makes any sort of sense lol#also I hate that they decided that the chantry explosion killed a bunch of people (which is not supported at all by either the environments#or dialogue of da2 btw. the game is mainly concerned about anders murdering elthina not randos lol)#but that will come in later.#anyway. every note I find in the game from the mages is so insane. just found the area where the templars burned down a house with mages#locked inside. but because both sides have to be bad for dai plot reasons#the mages killed the peasants that lived in the house for damn reason lmao. AFTER robbing them on the road earlier.#insane choices from the writing team on this one.#what were you trying to SAYYYY#like I’m ok with the mages being a bit brutal. that happens in war. but there’s like. reasons? usually?#like as much as orsino turning himself into a flesh beast is insane and weird both-sides-ism plot device.#at least they tried to give him a reason (even if it didn’t make sense in the context of hawke and co absolutely destroying the templars he#was so convinced were going to kill them all)#the hinterlands mages genuinely have no reason to attack random passersby.#ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING A MAGE.#like?????? hello I am one of you. how the hell do you even know I’m not one of the rebels.#sorry anyway I’m upsetti spaghetti.
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girl help im trying to fight the urge to consume problematic media
#at least i think its problematic? people on tiktok have said so a while ago#anyways.#wanna know what it is#its#ranfren#so uh tell me what to do#in the notes#do i consume the media and get weird or do i go on w/ life#the urge grows stronger every day and im fighting for my LIFEEEEE here#ok im done rambling. post#nevermind im not done ramblkng . im back bitches. i lived#i have the urge to scream just a little bit#the longer i go trying to suppress the interest the more it keeps fuckin me up#its like oobleck but worse and also can shape itself into something that hurts#like if oobleck had fists#the more pressue i put on it the more pressure kt puts on me#FUCKIN VOODOO OOBLECK#VOOBLECK??#voobleck#or voodoobleck??????#im not choosin. callkn g it both instead#anyways i have the song california gurls stuck in my head and its 4:21am and jm tired goodnihjt eveeyone hgnzghrfngzzzzzzhzhhhzhznzmmzbzz#snork mimimimimi#honk shoo honk shoo#etc.#gnightm everjlnhye#california girls were unforgettable daisy dukes bikinis on top syn kissed skin so hot well melt ur popsicle uouou o uououo#clifornia girls weee undeniable fune fresh fiefde ww got it ln loxk weat coast eepewse t how mur youy hand up uouou o uououo#etc. etc. yeag goodnight
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(crawls feebly into frame) i wasn't able to make a mini cover today like i wanted because UTAU-synth hates me but at the very least i have some barely touched renders to commemorate the occasion (hell beast release day)
UST file by UtauRezio
#just vocasynth things#happy 12th and simultaneously also 4th birthday crevan i got you none accent with left voicebank w#this vb was. uh. supposed to release today but#as of june last year i was still only about#(checks notes) about 53% complete with the oto#and would only be Fully complete with the oto if i fully oto'd at least 6 samples every day until#(checks notes again) this last december#long story short i would have died had i not tabled the project sdkfjhgldjf#one day i'll get things out there ! ! ! !#for now though future me is screaming and biting and killing me with hammers#the things i do to myself <33333#EDIT: (hits play and is immediately hit by the fact that i mixed this with my bad earbuds) oh my
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hi, I need help with finding the source of these pics..
Are they canon omake? Where are they from? Is there any more pics/context?
I can help with the source! The first one is from Harukawa's website:
The second one is from Higuchi's concept arts sheet in Rakugaki Note:
Also tried to take a photo from my physical copy, although I don't think there's any significant improvement in the image quality. The image is really small...
Unfortunately I can't provide further context, maybe someone can help translate the little writings... ?
#I wanted to buy and scan the anime illustration books (Koubou and Tsuki Niji) for my birthday this year#But in the end I don't think I will be abale to. I'm broke (╥﹏╥)#Came back from checking and yeah I don't think I can afford that lmao. Maybe some other guidebook who knows //////#people asks me stuff#The issue with Rakugaki Note is that it's too small (it's the same as a manga volume). It should have been at least A4 paper.#Tbh I pray every day we get a new manga illustration book it's been forever since the last one...#Also an Hoshikawa one with unreleased Beast illustrations please 🙏🙏🙏
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So, one of my Many hobbies is letterboxing (geocaching but with homemade rubber stamps). I love going out to the nearby parks and finding people's art hidden away in stumps and under bridges - it's also a great way to get some much needed fresh air an exercise. (If you're interested I recommend going to atlasquest.com, they have all the info you could ever want there.)
However. I am an overachiever. And chronically online.
So I carved twelve stamps to make a walking loop. Why twelve? One for each month, of course!
Now, I've seen a holiday stamp series before. August: Clown Week! November: Thanksgiving! December: Christmas! But I thought hey. What if I made. Tumblr holidays instead?
THE HOLIDAY LIST:
January 8th: Spiders Georg Day February: (okay we don't have one of those yet, so I chose a weekly one instead) It Is Wednesday, My Dudes March 15th: The Ides of March April 13th: Neil Banging Out the Tunes Day May 3rd: Dracula Daily June 22nd: Summerween July 11th-13th: Dashcon August 21st: Goncharov (original post day) September 8th: The Queen is Dead October 3rd: It's October 3rd November 5th: Guy Fawkes-Putin-Destiel-Election Day December: (all month) Gavlebocken Arson
I've made the stamps and put them in their boxes, but I was wondering if anyone would want to see them before I hide them? Since 99.9% of the people here won't be able to in person? I can also link their Atlas Quest page when I'm done so y'all can see my Beautiful holiday descriptions lol.
#letterboxing#tumblr holidays#stamp making#this is my magnum opus#atlast quest#I may post pics even if I get no notes#every day i wish more people knew about letterboxing#it's such a fun hobby#but with this I feel like I've hit Peak Niche Interest lol#tho i did find a blahaj stamp earlier this year#so at least One letterboxer in my area will appreciate this lmao
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Whichever anon sent me this today, thank you. There's no way you could have known, but a couple of days ago I suddenly and without warning lost a cat that I raised from the day he was born. When I saw this in my inbox I was confused at first, because what...checkmark...huh...but then I realized that it meant somebody had sent me something--out of the blue, just because--at a time that I really could use something good in my life, even something silly and fun. So, really, thank you. And green is my favorite "real" color, so having one of the checkmarks be green is pretty neat.
I've not really been able to draw anything worth anything lately, believe it or not, so here's the last picture I have of my Night Furry. He loved drives and walks, so earlier this summer on a road trip I took him to the top of the continental divide for a little hike.
(Yes, he's wearing a harness. He had an adventurous and independent temperament, so there was always a risk of him running off to explore someplace where he shouldn't go alone. I didn't just make him wear it because I'm a cruel and stifling cat butler.)
#yo somebody talked to me#/end classification tags#his name is toothless by the way#after the dragon in how to train your dragon of course#ALSO by the way#i would NORMALLY give myself time to actually process this sort of thing and recover because i'm pretty sure i'm in psychological shock#but i'm moving halfway across the continent in like two days (less than a week after he got sick) so there was no way to just#cancel that or delay it or something#so i'm having to just get over it or whatever#👍#the car ride is going to be lonely but at least i have one more cat to keep me as good of company as she can#even if we've never been as close as toothless and i were#a VERY IMPORTANT note to all of the pet owners who follow me: PLEASE check your yards for poisonous plants#regularly and repeatedly even if there wasn't anything dangerous there before#even if you're only staying in the area for a little while#even if you only let your pets out under close supervision#even if you trust your landlord/landlady (if you rent)#because i was all of those and this still happened#check every single plant out there and be 100% sure you KNOW what each one is#did you know that silverleaf nightshade looks nothing like other kinds of nightshade?#neither did i because i never lived in this area before#anyway sorry for the dump y'all#i don't generally like to share a lot of details about my personal life but i think i'm not quite myself right now#poor little guy hadn't even lived half his expected lifespan so i wasn't ready for this to happen for years#i've been kicking myself over it for days even though i know the blame doesn't TECHNICALLY lie with me and it's messing with my psyche#he was a very special cat#in korean the term is 개양이 and google says the english is puppycat#a cat that is friendly and acts like a dog#i will likely never get a cat anything like him again and that's an awful thing to realize#i would go broke and risk my future to have him back which is stupid i know but he was really something else
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damn i kinda dont like it here anymore
#will still post when i get back to skyblock but i've been on break for like a week now and Do Not wanna go back yet#and on the mcyt side... ew#keep getting gut-wrenching feelings every time i look at my notes and have to see your guys' icons#i take back what i said initially seeing wilbur makes me ill i want nothing to do with him#reblogs old posts etc NOTHING. im not mass deleting bc again archive or whatever but he will NOT be back here as of now#so like. yall with the c!wilbur icons. cut that shit out. please consider how it makes other people feel lmao#none of that separating the character and creator shit I Dont Want To See Him. ANY of him. i dont care if ''it's not him''#goes for other nasty ppl but sbi-adjacent ppl are more likely to be the ones interacting with me. so more relevant#you're free to do whatever YOU want im not saying you HAVE to change your icon. but you'll probably get blocked at least by me lol#idk how everyone else is taking it bc i follow like 2 mcyt accounts nowadays but that's how i feel. i dont want him here anymore#it's like this stuff keeps following me around it feels impossible to avoid while i run this account#ugh#maybe one day this account will finally get set to private and TRULY be Just An Archive
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i Do think it's funny how much dead bean drop has specifically like... been such a starting point of everything that's been going on in my mind but they really did just manage to hit a bullseye being all like "oh yeah and lumpus and slinkman went to camp together as kids" like Ugh. You can't just say that to me. Come on. look at this Stupid thing
"and there's so much potential there" - ME ABOUT PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING I'VE EVER GOTTEN MY HANDS ON
#talk#camp lazlo#i love his big silly hair so much#stuff i wanna clean up my thoughts and post about eventually:#slinkman's “pull yourself together; this is who you are” scene and how things like that tie into the rest of his issues#LIKE#sorry i can't even mention that and not go off about it but ohhh my god slinkman#LIKE THESE LITTLE CHARACTERIZATION DOTS FOR HIM ARE SO LIKE... CLEAN? I GUESS?#they really do all feel so connected#i seriously gotta just go and work on my notes though i just wanted to repost at least a little art#before i actually got into it all cus i'm still not sure how many people are interested#and it's a lot to go through like#Guys#i can't go a few days without amassing like another 6k words in notes which is actually kind of annoying!#and this is why every year i get sucked in for a while again because i'm just looking stuff over like#Okay... That's kind of Genius...#nauseous typing this and remembering ''what did YOU put in your time capsule scoutmaster lumpus? :)'' ''my youth 😒'' (beat)#or whatever#ANYWAY#i love this episode cus its a lot for me to chew on and also so crazy in so many ways honestly#and lumpus truly kills me when it's such a ''WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM'' thing but Oh. Oh i know exactly what's Wrong with him ❤️
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my best advice to anyone who's still in middle/high school is to make your teachers think you are the nicest sweetest purest little goody two shoes on the planet so that you can get away with breaking rules fairly openly bc your teachers either won't believe it or will view it as a very minor issue since you're the perfect student
#this is how i broke a kids leg and physically injured a teacher twice with 0 repercussions#also make best friends with the snarky english teachers theyll protect you if you can match their repartee#literally just be like im such a perfect sweet little angel who is so so interested in history class#i would NEVER play cards in the empty orchestra room during class with some other kids. never would i break a rule its preposterous#if you have at least one teacher who views you like this theyll go to bat for you if you ever actually get caught :)#also just be autistic as fuck your classmates will hate you but ur teachers will infantilize you into non agency#i almost got suspended for wearing a hat all the time after being told not to then i told one of my favorite teachers#and she told the teacher who kept getting on to me to leave me alone#another year i feel asleep almost every day in biology and my astronomy teacher told him i was having a really hard time (i was)#so he ended up printing out the slides for me every day and asking my table mate to give me his notes when i fell asleep#which was so so sweet of both of them and i really needed that kindness and ill never forget it#but i think a more disruptive kid may not have received the same level of kindness
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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