#i genuinely want to get the translated version and compare it to mine

[schleierkauz]

Reblogging this post to say, yeah, my silence will continue another month.

Regarding The Color of Revenge:

Please, please, PLEASE tag your spoilers! The American version doesn’t come out until November and so far, I’ve been able to avoid spoilers by blocking the TCoR tags specifically. I would hate to have to block the main fandom tags as well, but I’ve been waiting 20 years for this and I would really appreciate not having it spoiled for me! Thank you!

[ssnakey-b]

FF8 English-French translarison, part 25: Four years later

Well, it only took four years but the translarison is back, baby! I told you I didn’t give up on it. That said, looking back, I found it amazing that some people seemed to follow it closely and get genuinely excited for new updates, and I have to admit I feel a bit bad to have disappointed these people. So to all those who have been following the Translarison from the start and were saddened to see it gone, I offer my apologies. If you’re still around and still excited for it, you’re real ones. Now, on the off chance that some of you stumbled upon this post with no idea what I’m on about, hi. I’m Ssnakey-B (fun fact: it’s short for SsnakeBite!), a French native and Final Fantasy VIII-obsessed weirdo. So, just a... short while ago... I decided to bring these two things together and start a playthrough of FFVIII where I would compare the English and French translations of the game, partly because I’m a bit mental, but mostly because I noticed quite a few differences between the two that I feel give a different view of the characters and various moments in the game, which i think highlight the importance of translation in how audiences perceive a work. So you see, it’s a translation comparison; a translarison, if you will. I also take the opportunity to analyze and comment on various moments from the game. Oh! And I go through this assuming people are already familiar with the game, so beware of spoilers. And whether you’re an OG or a newcomer, if you need to catch up, why not check this convenient list of links to every part published so far that I put together? Anyway, time to finally get back into it. Last time, we finished the CD 2 content with the second and final battle against Edea, putting an end to the Battle of the Gardens. And so, we return to find Squall moping in bed, because that’s what he does when faced with stressful situations, which is a mood and a half.

“So it’s all over, then.”

French Squall, no!! We literally just returned! Now’s not the time to give up!

Okay, joking aside, we do have quite a bit of difference right off the bat, as in English, his inner monologue goes as such:

(is it over...?)

(What happened...?)

(Rinoa......)

(What happened to Rinoa......?)

Whereas in French, it goes like this:

(So it’s all over, then)

(When it comes to Edea, at least...)

(But... for Linoa?)

(This story has only just begun!)

So yeah, very different tone I would say, with the French version sounding more determined, less confused. I’ll leave you to decide which one is more fitting given the circumstances. I think an argument can be made for both, depending on whether you believe it’s understandable for someone in his situation to be lost and confused, or if this lighting a fire under him reflects his character development.

Also, not entirely sure why the English version is going so crazy with the ellipses......

After a quick visit to the infirmary, Squall is told by Quistis over the intercom to visit Edea as she is back at the orphanage. Since we get to visit Balamb Garden again, let’s take the opportunity to check on the various NPCs before that, shall we?

First, we’ve gota small difference with this kid who runs around the hall all the time. In English, he says “Come on! ... Take the pain! One more!” whereas in French, he says “I want to beat my endurance record!”. So in both versions, we get that he’s training hard, but we have a slightly different take on it.

Next, we have he cafeteria ladies, the unsung heroines of Balamb Garden. The one on our left mentions students being obsessed with their weight in both versions but interestingly, the English one says a bit more, joking about how “They won’t be able to get a tummy like mine! Ahahahahaha!” which is absent from the French version entirely. Speaking of, the French cafeteria lady doesn’t just say that students are concerned about dieting but that she thinks they’re “more obsessed by calories than their exam”. MA’ AM.

THEY JUST FOUGHT AN ACTUAL BATTLE AGAINST AN ACTUAL ARMY.

THERE WERE HOCKEY MONSTERS.

I think that deserves SOME credit towards their graduation.

Anyway, that’s about it for differences with them although do keep in mind, in the French version, they’re all out of pretzels, not hot-dogs. This is a crucial difference.

We’re not done with the cafeteria, however, as we get to this group, which I’m sure some of you have been looking forward to. And really, it IS interesting since you can’t directly translate the ifnamous “SaaD” pun (which i assume wasn’t in the original Japanese anyway). So how does it go? Well, shorter, mostly. Check it out.

First, here’s the English version:

“I must say, we’re pretty tough.”

“Word... I thought it was the end for me when we had that fight with the other Garden.”

“We’ve accomplished quite a feat. The fighting inside Garden, the battle with the other Garden... That wasn’t training. It was the real thing!”

“YEAH! There were lots of casualties from both sides, but we’re still alive!”

“YEAH! YEAH! We can DO IT!”

“But... We still aren’t SeeDs...”

“...So, we end up complainin’... SaaaaaaD...”

“SaaaaaaD...”

“Sometimes, I actuallly enjoy complaining... SaaaaaaD...”

And now, the French take on it:

We were brave on this one.

I thought we were going to die for sure!

There is a big difference between classes and a real battle.

Yeah! We managed to make it out alive!

We’re not that bad, after all!

But we’re still not Seeds...

That’s true. What a catastrophe...

How sad.

We truly are pitiful.

Again, you’d think being part of an actual battle would at least earn them some credits. I gues sit still wasn’t enough for them to pass already. Either that or the pun from the English team caused them to have some points docked.

You’re probably wondering if there’s anything interesting in what the Quistis simp Trepie ins aying. The answer to that is not really, although he doesn’t call her “sinful” because it’s somehow her fualt he isn’t getting any sleep.

There isn’t much difference in the dialogue between these girls (in fact, it’s surprising how closesly it matches) but I did want to bring it up because it just occured to me that they are likely talking about Linoa, and I think it says a lot about her that in her short time in Balamb Garden, she apparently managed to make friends with some people to the point they want to go visit her in the infirmary.

I suppose it IS possible that they’re talking about an unrelated friend who could’ve gotten injured during the battle of the Gardens and there are more beds that we don’t get to see (it would be weird if there was aonly one) but at the same time, there’s no indication of that in either version of the dialogue. Although with that said, I did notice that there’s usually a group of three girls chatting around and here there’s only two of them, so who knows?

There are a couple interesting things here. The dialogue with Zell is almost identical (also, always found it weird that he’s sometimes in his civlian clothes and sometimes in his cadet uniform in this bit. What a weird thing to put extra work towards), but this little girl’s lines couldn’t be more different. In the English version, she wants reassurance, asking “Is the scary stuff over? It’s over, right?”. But in French, she says “So the warm-up is over? I was just starting to have fun.”

So not only did this little girl apparently take part in the fighting in the French version (which contradicts Squall’s orders, BTW), she’s clearly developed an insatiable thirst for battle that can only be shortly quenched by the blood of her enemies. Terrifying and also great potential for a sequel. Just sayin’, Square-Enix.

We also have a slight difference in tone with this guy. In English, he sounds still shaken yet thrilled by the battle, going “I...I fought too. And...and, victory was mine!!!” while in French, he’s much collected, going “I fought too. And I suffered no injury!”

Next, we head to the library. This student explains that it is taking request for new books and weirdly, the line in the screenshot above is not in the French version. Another weird change is that he then says that he is “all for fiction” whereas in French, he says that he prefers news. The girl also says in English that she wants mystery novels and in French, she says she wants crime thrillers/whodunits and nothing else.

I guess mystery and crime novels aren’t mutually exclusive, but I feel like “mystery” is a much broader category, so that’s the kind of detail that once again hints at the translations being done independently rather than based on one-another.

Next we have these two and this one is very interesting. First, in English, the girl on the left asks “So I guess we won?” but in French, what she says is more along the lines of “So I take it we won?” which is really weird because it makes it sound like she wasn’t there and doesn’t know what happened.

But more importantly, the one on the right replies with the above line, which is excellent, but in French, it becomes “You never really know who wins... But yes, I think we did.”

Yeah, the French version dropped the ball on that one IMO.

And finally there’s this bizzarely rare NPC who I don’t think i’ve ever seen before and had to go back and forth multiple times to get to appear after switching to French. She’s sad in both versions but not quite as much in French, where she just laments “oh, this is all so sad” rather than outright crying like here.

I believe that’s it for the first floor, let’s get to the second and meet Selphie! There’s an interesting little difference as she specifically says that the Garden’s BBS is fun, whereas in French, she calls it the “network”, even using the English term, which is surprising considering for once, it’s not a anglicism that we use in this context, really.

You may also have noticed that she’s wearing her cadet uniform, well she adresses that and interestingly, in both versions she calls them “regular” uniforms which might imply it’s not actually a cadet-specific uniform? Squall does keep it in his room even after graduating, so I guess that makes sense. But what’s really interesting here is that in English, she says those are nice for a change as you stop wearing them once you become a SeeD.

So I guess those ARE cadet uniforms but wait, she’s wearing right now so clearly they don’t stop wearing them and I’m way overthinking this, aren’t I? What I meant to talk about is that in French, she kind of has the opposite stance saying that while these uniforms are pretty neat, she prefers the SeeD ones (and she doesn’t mention anything about no longer wearing them).

Quick stop by this guy to mention that he only breakes the fourth wall in the English version, which is surprising considering so far, the French one has been the one to have some fourth-wall breaking jokes.

There’s no real difference here (other than the English version sounding more excited due to a liberal use of exclamation marks) but I did want to point out that this is the only NPC so far to acknowledge Squall as his boss.

And that wraps all of the interesting bits I could find within Balamb Garden. Time to get to the orphanage! And here we have another example of how nearly identical phrases can have a different vibe in different languages. Here, in English, Quistis says “...I feel uncomfortable seeing her” while in French, she says “I am not very comfortable at the idea of seeing her again”.

Now maybe it’s just me, but I feel like the English take on it makes it feel more like Quistis is uncomfortable seeing Edea at all, as if her very sight made her uncomfortable, whereas the French one feels more like she’s talking specifically about hos strange it feels to go visit her after they nearly killed one-another. Small, but crucial differences.

The difference between Irvine’s lines is much more pronounced. In English, he says “There’s so much we want to ask the Matron” and in French, he says “It’s weird to go see someone we fought” (which of course mirrors Quistis’ feelings).

Since the characters not in your team are standing in this area, we’ve got different lines depending on what your party is, so let’s quickly go over them. In English, Selphie says “I���ll go after you, Squall. Ok, ok?” and in French, she says “You speak first, OK?”.

Now that’s a very interesting one because I feel like the French version makes Selphie sound a bit more nervous and relying on Squall to break the ice, which goes to show they’ve come to trust him as their leader, even when interacting with Edea.

As for Zell, in English, he goes “We’re meeting the Matron... M-Man, I’m nervous”. His French counterpart is more calm, saying “It’s a bit stressful seeing the governess after what happened”.

Small thing I noticed, Cid tends to nervously chuckle a few times, which doesn’t happen in French, making him seem a bit more eloquent. For example, here he says “I’m sorry” in the French version.

There is also a small difference before he asks them to forgive Edea where in English, he says “I don’t care about myself... But...” while in French, he says “I know I disappointed you”. Again, one of those small things that does change the overall feel of the scene a bit.

Interestingly, as they start talking with Edea, I noticed that this is a rare (possibly unique) occasion where some of the lines are the same for multiple characters, although it’s all variations of “We attacked you even though we knew you were our Matron” in both versions.

There isn’t a huge amount of difference in Edea’s speech at first, the only somewhat notable one being that in French, she explicitly tells them that she could become possessed again at any given time while in the English version, she trails off after saying “At anyime, I may...”.

Also interesting is that each character has a different line if you try to leave before Edea is finished, which is admirable attention to detail, but also not so great if you’re some sort of fool who for some reason decided to compare two translations of the same video game and has to reboot the game each time to try different party combinations, only to find that the unique lines aren’t different enough to mention anyway.

Something I want to point out is another example of the difference in how text is formatted in both versions, as we’ve seen in some of the pre-hiatus entries. As you can see, in the English version, “Sorceress Ultimecia” is highlighted in blue, which is not the case in the French translation, where the name isn’t different from the rest of the text.

We eventually reach an interestng divergence in the speech. Nothing major but in English, Edea explains that "There was no way I was going to let Ultimecia get a hold of Ellone. The only thing I coud do was... ..Surrender my soul to ultimecia and lose control my mind”.

Note how the way she says it here sounds like she willingly let Ultimecia take her over so she couldn’t go after Ellone. Meanwhile, in the French version, Edea says that she “refused to let her bewitch Ellone. In revenge... I am the one she possessed”.

So this one makes it sound more like Edea somehow stopped Ultimecia from possessing Ellone, and Ulti taking Edea instead was a punishment. Quite a different take on the story.

This difference seems to be confirmed a bit later in the English text, where Edea says that if Ultimecia tries to take her over again, she’ll “make a stand this time”, implying she didn’t resist initially. This distinction is absent from the French version.

Another interesting small difference; in French, Edea tells the group “I need you, children” when mentioning the fact that they may be forced to fight again, in contrast to the English version, where she refers to them as “Young SeeDs”. One sound smore like she’s appealing to them as the children she raised, one as the soldiers they’ve become. Once again, it’s a small detail, but one that I think allows for a different reading of the situation.

And now, we get to the part where Edea mentions Adel for the first time.

Ah, crap...

Well, I would have had to mention it sooner or later.

So, the French version did something weird with Adel. Now we all know, Adel is an unusual character in that despite being a woman, she has a clearly masculine body (and I don’t just mean because she’s muscular. Women can be muscular, but she has other masculine characteristics). And I guess the French translator was confused and decided to turn her into an intersex character.

To my knowledge, the French version of the game is the only one to have made such a change and er, yeah, once I found out, it was pretty awkward, and it hasn’t gotten better in modern days where trans, non-binary and intersex representation and rights are a much bigger concern, or at least a more mainstream one. I also want to mention in passing that they use the term “hermaphrodite” which isn’t exactly proper these days, but I want to remind everyone that back then, the word “intersex” wasn’t commonly used (in fact, I’m not sure it existed at all), so I won’t hold that against them at least.

Now, I guess that change in itself wouldn’t necessarily be a huge issue (although it does kind of break the rule that only women can become sorceresses, especially as they usually refer to Adel using male pronouns from what I recall), a bit awkward but ultimately not that big a deal...

... but what makes this so much worse is that, while one variation on how the characters react to Edea asking if they know about Adel, one of the lines (which are shared across multiple characters, at least in the French version), isn’t too terrible, referring to Adel as a “half-man, half-woman being”, there’s one where the character, either Zell or Irvine, uses a term which... well, I don’t know if to call it an outright slur is quite right (it doesn’t help that French people aren’t quite as offended by slurs as English-speaking people tend to be), but it’s not exactly a respectful term for someone who likes to crossdress.

Look, I’m not even gonna bother trying to find an English equivalent, it’s not necessary and that’s one can of worms I am perfectly happy leaving closed. I just wanted to bring it up because I feel it would be unfair to you to hide it. I don’t even think the translator was trying to be insulting to anyone, it was just a very poor judgment call that ended up messing with canon and creating an unfortunate situation for no reason. Know that we here at the Translarison say “Trans Rights!” and “Intersex Rights!” and I know damn well that the FFVIII cast does as well, awkward translations be damned.

With that out of the way, back to business. Edea mentions that she received her powers at the age of 5. This seems to confirm that she was already a sorceress before reciving Ultimecia’s powers. There is also a difference in translations as in English, she says that she received her powers from “the previous sorceress” which sounds like there can only be one at a time (which is immediately contradicted by them bringing up Adel).

Next, when Squall brings up Linoa, his English self says that her body was called and she wasn’t moving, so no wonder Cid took it to mean that Linoa died. However, his French self says that she “fell into a deep coma”, which IS accurate, but also makes it weird that Cid still has the same reaction.

Speaking of him, his reply to Squall sounds more tactful in French to me.

English:

“Squall, I understand how you feel. But you are in a position of leadership. The other students at garden have a right to know the outcome of the battle and what’s to come. Take whatever information you can get here, back to Garden. Remember, it wasn’t just Linoa. Everyone fought.”

French:

Squall, I understand that all this is emotionally exhausting for you. But think about your role as leader. The BGU students are relying on you. You mustn’t forget about the fate of your comrades. Linoa’s life isn’t the only one on the line.

And after Squall says “I understand, but...”, Cid still comes off better in French, as English Cid retorts “But, but, but... that isn’t something a leader should say...” which sounds horribly dismissive, while French Cid says “No ‘buts’. A true leader forgets his personal issues...” which not only feels less dismissive IMO, but also seems to refer back to his own actions, as he had to train SeeD to fight Edea in spite of his own feelings.

Oh, and when punching the wall afterwards, French Squall thinks “...... Fool” and I’m honestly not sure if he’s referring to Cid or himself.

There aren’t many differences while Edea explains Ultimecia’s goal and Squall reminisces about Linoa, but there is an interesting one. In English, when someone asks what would happen to the world if time was compressed, someone else answers “I can’t even imagine a world where time is compressed!”.

In French, Edea (presumably) clearly answers “If time is compressed, we will all plunge into nothingness.

And as the game fades back to Balamb Garden, we end with Xu a.k.a. Shu. In English, she tells Squall “I don’t want to say this in front of Quistis and you, but... I don’t know if some people will be so forgiving”. In French, she doesn’t actually speak directly to Squall, whispring to herself “Squall and Quistis are too king with the priestess. I’ve got the feeling that the others won’t forgive her so easily”. And yes, it’s a whisper because it’s not using the transparent text box.

Well, that is it for our first entry back. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did (the weird Adel stuff notwithstanding) and that you’re looking forward to more, I know I am. Don’t hesitate to let me know what you think of it and if you have any questions, my asks are open and of course you can leave them as a comment if you prefer.

Take care and I’ll be seeing you for part 26. No promises on when it’ll be out, but hopefully before another four years.

[butwhatifidothis]

Shortened Lifespan: Edelgard vs Lysithea

Now, technically, I’ve already made a post like this before, but I wanted it to be it’s own thing (brought about by a mutual tagging a post of mine and me wanting to go more into depth with it lol).

It’s been very widely accepted by the fandom that Edelgard and Lysithea both go through the expectation of living a shortened life due to the blood experiments done to them, with this partly being used as part of the defense/reasoning for Edelgard going to war instead of doing something more peaceful. She thinks she’s on a timer, like Lysithea, so she hard-starts change to work around her short-lived clock. Makes sense, on the surface. 

But like I’ve mentioned on here before, I personally just can’t buy it. Nothing besides the immediate connection of “Edelgard and Lysithea both went through experimentation” suggests that Edelgard has the same shortened lifespan that Lysithea is suffering through. 

More under the cut

One thing that immediately stands out, to me, are the differences between their stat spreads and growths (focusing on stats on this post). 

Here are Edelgard’s (note: Statues not applied - add five to the stats if you want the true max values):

They are extremely good, especially for a default armor unit.  Str and especially Mag are very high, average Dex and Spd (though notably good for an armor unit), good Def, amazing Charm. Her Luck and Res are the only things that are even kinda bad - it’d more accurate to say they’re below average, tho again, 47 Res on an armor unit is fairly high. In fact, of the units that lean towards armor, Edelgard has the highest Res, and even beats out some units that aren’t armor-leaning such as Claude and Felix. Even her seemingly low HP (for an armor) is mitigated by the fact that it’s still some of the highest for a female unit overall (the fifth highest, beat out by Petra, Rhea, Manuela, and Hilda)

What are Lysithea’s, in contrast? (blacked out everyone above her for easier reading):

...Uh. Yeah. In contrast to Edelgard’s far more even spread, Lysithea’s are skewed to fuck. The best Mag in the game and the second highest Dex (losing only to Claude’s 89), and some nice Spd, sure, but everything else takes an extremely large hit. 48 HP is the lowest in the game, pitiful Str and Def, and mediocre Luck, Res, and Charm. This girl is held together by toothpicks, Elmer’s glue, and God’s mercy.

So right off the bat, there’s a huge difference between the two of them in this regard, but I decided to go even further; just how off are Lysithea’s stats, actually? Some things make sense, like low Str and Def, so how different is she compared to others in her class type (magic users).

The magic users of the following factions have the Str stat underlined. First, BE:

BL:

GD:

CoS:

From what we can see, 30 Str isn’t actually out of the norm for a female magic user. The outliers are Rhea and Manuela with their Str in the low 50′s being not just the highest of the women, but of all the main magic users period, though part of that could be contributed to their age (vs Hanneman who is both older - in terms of physical age at least - and who does not focus on physical strength like someone like Gilbert) (Rhea being an older Nabatean could also attribute to this - notice Seteth’s stat spread which also has notably high Mag for a Wyvern Rider unit and Flayn’s, who is younger and who also had only recently woken from a centuries long sleep that she fell into after nearly dying, more odd spread). Following them for the women is Annette, who as we know lugs around a giant axe (Crusher’s weight is 11, making it heavier than most swords and bows and a good few lances - fun fact, it’s heavier than Areadbhar!) which likely lends to her having above average Str for her gender and unit type combination

Now, here’s the fun part: let’s look at the same unit’s Res stats

BE:

BL:

GD:

CoS:

Here’s where an interesting pattern shows up that’s fairly consistent: if a magic unit has bad Str, they have good/great Res to compensate, and vice versa. Annette’s above average Str (remember, for what she is) coincides with her bad Res, same as Manuela’s, and all the magic units with their ass Str have at least a respectable Res to go along with it. The only ones who break this rule are Rhea, due to her Str and Mag being fairly even with a lean towards magic (and also not being playable lol)... and Lysithea. Who has both a shit Str and shit Res stat. Even amongst her magical peers, Lysithea still stands out as particularly fragile and physically weak.

HOWEVER

Do note, for all of the above in terms of going over stats, that they aren’t necessarily the best indicator of anything in particular when it comes to a character; there is no version of me in the multiverse that will ever believe Manuela is stronger than Rhea or that Lorenz has the same amount of stamina as Dimitri, for example. But it is something to note when looking at Edelgard and Lysithea, due to them going through the same experiments and yet one is very clearly doing better in terms of damn near everything and the other very clearly lagging behind in damn near everything

Moving on, we have their Banes and Boons. Edelgard’s Boons are Axes, Swords, Heavy Armor, and Authority, with Banes in Faith and Bows. Of note, Edelgard will say in a Study Request that she believes it is her specifically having two Crests that allows her to be able to shrug on armor like it’s nothing, and her defaulting to an armor class with an axe as her default weapon makes her the literal heaviest she could theoretically be. On top of that, her Banes point to nothing about her physical health hindering her ability to do physically laborious feats.

Lysithea, on the other hand, has Boons in Faith, Reason, and Authority, with Banes in Swords, Lances, Axes, Heavy Armor, as well as Clearing Rubble as a Group Task activity. She has a budding talent in Swords - the lightest of the weapons she’s bad at and some of the lightest weapons in the game - that gives her access to a Combat Art that lets her use something other than Str to give Mt to her sword-based attack. Lysithea, in terms of Banes and Boons when compared to Edelgard (or anyone, really), is very clearly unable to do physically demanding things very well - it’s something she’s actively bad at doing and is a consistent fact about her that crops up in not just her stats and Banes and Boons, but also her supports. Edelgard’s situation is the same.

Edelgard has her supports with Ferdinand, as well as Ferdinand’s supports with Byleth, that showcase her being exceptionally good at combat in terms of physical fighting (as in, no magic, and having a talent in doing feats that would require a good amount of stamina). She beats Ferdinand in combat with one strike, and she is able to take on a Demonic Beast by herself while still fresh in the academy. There are no mentions of her being winded or tired from fighting, and she is more than once praised for her battle prowess.

Lysithea, meanwhile, has at least three supports (Byleth, Lorenz, Cyril) that indicate less than stellar stamina, health, and strength (she straight up faints in Byleth’s supports). While characters looking out for her health can maybe be somewhat attributed to her being one of the youngest students in the cast, the difference between and, say, Cyril, who’s even younger than her, is that she genuinely shows signs of ill health when she pushes herself too far, vs Cyril who is fine even with how much he works. When talking about her prowess in battle it is only ever in regards to her magical capabilities, not anything else, and she is seen constantly working on those capabilities.

And then lastly, there are their endings.

Edelgard has no endings that mention needing to be rid of her Crests - save one, which will be looked at in a bit. In particular, she has an ending with Hubert that indicates she lives on to her “later years,” which is usually attributed to a fairly old age. It is not, in this case, referring to Edelgard’s specific later years (for example, a person who lives to 30 can say their mid-twenties was the later years of their life), because it specifically says that she and Hubert live to their later years, which more likely points towards a longer life.

Lysithea in contrast has multiple endings that either has her and/or her lover actively looking for means to get rid of Lysithea’s Crests, or explicitly say that she dies young. There’s... not much more to add to that lmao

But! There is one ending with Edelgard that mentions her getting rid of her Crests, and it even says they restore her lost time! That’s proof positive, isn’t it?

Well, funnily enough, this is her ending with Lysithea that mentions this, and it... appears to be straight up incorrectly translated. As has been pointed out by others, the JPN ending doesn’t specifically mention restoring their lifespans, it simply says Edelgard and Lysithea “discovered a way to exchange the crest’s power for the restoration of a lost lifespan.” While, if we look at the surface level “Edelgard and Lysithea both had Crests implanted into them” similarity, it makes sense to attribute this restoration to the both of them, looking at everything else leans towards this statement mostly being for Lysithea. Which, given that this is the only ending - or really, the only place period - Edelgard has that even mentions her wanting to be rid of her Crest, let alone actively working towards it, it makes sense that this isn’t for her. 

Now, all of the above isn’t directly pointing towards anything - it’s a lot of speculation, since nothing about Edelgard herself having a short life is ever explicitly said in the game. But when looking at all of the differences between Lysithea and Edelgard, when looking at how badly Lysithea stacks against everyone else vs how amazing Edelgard stacks, at how often dying young is mentioned with Lysithea vs Edelgard, at how much Lysithea focuses on her lifespan vs Edelgard, I personally just can’t believe that they’re similarly afflicted with a shortened life. 

There’s almost nothing in the game to suggest that other than the one thing they have in common, which is the experiments themselves - if they do, then Edelgard simply doesn’t care as much about it as Lysithea, and/or it isn’t nearly to the extent of Lysithea, to the point where she feels no need to mention it anywhere. And this is the same character that brings up her ten dead siblings in the first support with the player character, so something as big as “oh yeah and I’m going to die relatively soon and young” feels like something she would similarly mention as something one should know about her, which she doesn’t. This seems, to me, to be just a popular fan theory that isn’t really all that supported in the game itself.

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC '21 (semi-final two)

Good afternoon folks, and welcome to the second part of Undo my ESC – my annual quest to make the year’s Eurovision better (at least, for me xD) by making a feasible change in each country – it could be something as small as altering a lyric or a staging detail, or as big as a different artist entirely winning the NF. Semi-final one was here so let's jump straight into SF2!

🇸🇲 San Marino: We're thrown into the deep end here with a fan fav that doesn't do at all for me. I'm one of maybe 5 people on the planet who prefers Freaky by far, I guess? I'm happy for Senhit to be getting so much love and for the diminutive serene republic to finally have a shot at a good result - but I'm not so keen on the way it's been done. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me because my favourite thing about Adrenalina is Flo Rida's rap, but I don't like the idea of bringing in famed American artists like "ringers" to elevate a song above one with "only" local talent. I would be so tempted to give the rap part to local artist IROL instead to spit some hot bars in Italian.

🇪🇪 Estonia: I had hope this year, I really did, for my era of absolutely adoring Estonia at ESC to be revived after 4 painful years. There were so many good songs at this year's Eesti Laul, like those of Ivo Linna, Egert, Gram of fun, Heleza - but ultimately, my huge favourite was, as expected, Jüri Pootsmann. Anyone who followed this blog back in 2016 knows how much I adore Jüri and was desperate to see him get a redemption arc at ESC itself. Magus melanhoolia was one of the best songs of the season for me and one of the best stagings. As much as I prefer '20 artists to get their shot in '21, problematic Uku with his toxic ex vibes song will have to step aside and let the Jüri renaissance happen here.

🇨🇿 Czechia: I really dig Benny Cristo - he has personality, presence and his own enjoyable style. At first I was kinda disappointed with Omaga because I was expecting something more in the vein of Kemama, with more pronounced Afrobeat influences. But it has grown on me a lot too. My change? Add more Czech than just one blink-and-you-miss-it line, mate! (Article continues below)

🇬🇷 Greece: I see this being talked up as potential televote top 3 and I just don't get it. Maybe it's the way the chorus rhymes dance with itself three times (and uses the term rockin' romance unironically); maybe it's the way that there are better 80s-inspired songs both in ESC and many fallen tributes in the NF season... it just leaves me cold. I actually preferred Supergirl and my change would be for Stefania to bring something with some actual Greek flair.

🇦🇹 Austria: I’ll echo what I said last year about Österreich – how did they go from Conchita to a guy who wished he wouldn’t have gay kids like this? I find both of this guy's songs insipid in different ways and I would invite Pænda back instead to avenge her getting robbed with the beautiful Limits. Or give a second shot at glory to the incredible Cesár!

🇵🇱 Poland: Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love The Ride, and I feel bad for Alicja, but I much prefer it to Empires. What started as an ironic fondness for Rafał's cringy uncle vibes ended up being genuine appreciation - it's one of the few 80s-inspired songs that sound like they actually could have come out of that decade rather than like modern pastiches. And Raf actually does have an awkward charisma. My change - insert some Polish! Poland does so well with natural sounding bilingual efforts in JESC, they should bring it to the main contest too!

🇲🇩 Moldova: I was lowkey prepared to be disappointed by Moldova - I actually enjoyed Prison a lot and the news that they were going in a completely different direction didn't sit so well with me. And yet, I also love Sugar. Natalia's power! My changes: get rid of that weird scene with literally egg on her face - too on the nose for me. And incorporate a bit of the stellar Russian translation, Tuz bubi, because I'm always going to be advocating for more linguistic diversity xD

🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr can literally do no wrong with me. Whilst it doesn't have the same intense extra-fandom hype that Think about things did, I think I like Ten years even more. Nothing to change here.

🇷🇸 Serbia: It's no secret that Hurricane were far from my favourites at Beovizija 20, and that I find this a downgrade for Sanja compared to her powerful '16 song. And yet... Hasta la vista grew on me a lot, and so has Loco loco. It's something that is definitely scratching an itch at this year's ESC and the burst of anarchic energy it'll provide will be amazing. I am seriously tempted to change to the acoustic version, though, which has all the attitude of the original but is more beautiful for me and lets the girls' voices shine more.

🇬🇪 Georgia: Georgia keeps serving acquired tastes, and as a patron saint of marginal genres and I love them for that. This year, they've gone for something that even many fans of Tornike find hard to swallow - gone is the roaring rock of last year, replaced with a much more contemplative, soft effort that reminds me a little of Lou Reed. I enjoy both songs, but I can't deny preferring 2020. At the same time, I admire the chutzpah required to send something so different. I just wish there could be a moment to properly showcase T's powerhouse vocals.

🇦🇱 Albania: It was an odd Festival i këngës this year, outdoors in the freezing cold and without the orchestra that makes the songs soar so much more for me. Karma is a perfectly respectable winner, albeit one that lacks the immediacy and rawness of Shaj, Ktheju tokës and Mall. In my ideal alternate reälity, Arilena Ara would have been invited back. She'd bring a song as beautiful as Shaj - and not do a revamp into English that removes its edge this time.

🇵🇹 Portugal: 2015-2020 was a full on Portugal stan era for me. I want to believe that this year is an aberration and that in 2022, our lusitanian neighbours will produce the goods once again. Because ending a colossal streak of not sending songs that don't include Portuguese for this? I am baffled. I wanted the anthemic Joana do mar, produced beautifully by Luísa Sobral, or the timeless Contramão, which sounds like it escaped a Nouvelle Vague soundtrack. Saudade, Por um triz or a number of others would have been grand too.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: I wasn't expecting much from Bulgaria - I really didn't and don't like TGS and the majority of songs in Victoria's NF-but-not-really aren't my cup of tea. I was happy she got her second chance, but resigned to not liking the song much that would get picked. And then, my fav, which was last in many community ratings, ended up being her pick. I adore GUIGO and believe it has the possibility to do very, very well at Rotterdam and be one of the 'moments' of the evening.

🇫🇮 Finland: CRIMINAL how YLE treated Aksel - it felt like he wasn't the defending champion, and that Erika Vikman had won the previous year. They also - I believe, deliberately - split his vote by making his just one of a number of ballads, so of course what stood out most were the two decidedly non-ballady songs. Finland only two years ago had a single-artist UMK. They could and should have brought it back for Aksel. I'd hope Hurt would win it, because that song is stunning.

🇱🇻 Latvia: I was, and am, delighted that Latvia stuck with Samanta Tina. The lady lives and breathes ESC, even wrote a university thesis about it, and if she tried so many times, finally won and then DIDN'T get to go to ESC, I would have gone to LTV headquarters personally to remonstrate. I really like both her songs. The moon is rising is poised, powerful and like nothing else this year. The only thing I'd change is adding some Latvian because it's a gorgeous language and we've been waiting for ages to hear it again.

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Gjon's song is once again not really my cup of tea, or tears - but I enjoy it better than last year's and I'm glad he's back. Highkey wish it did include Albanian or Romansch like confused commenters last year thought it did.

🇩🇰 Denmark: There is literally no excuse for Denmark's treatment of Ben & Tan. I'm not even a big fan of their music at all, out to not even allow them to compete in DMGP to defend their win with Iron heart? Even though there are songs that competed in DMGP that I prefer a lot, most notably Står lige her, I would probably have let them have a proper second chance.

And the automatic qualifiers voting in this semi -

🇫🇷 France: For me, France had an absolutely enthralling, sincere, perfectly Gallic entry that hit me so hard in the feels. And whilst I respect Voilà, no, that wasn't it. It was Pourvu qu'on m'aime, easily one of the best songs I heard all year inside NFs or out. I find Voilà a little too mannered and affected, whilst PQM is a shot straight from Juliette's heart into mine. In my dream, it'd have won CVQD and be receiving the same love that Voilà is right now.

🇪🇸 Spain: Whilst it is getting next to no love in the fandom and seems quite forgotten, I find Voy a quedarme one of the best songs sent from this country in several years - and I say that having preferred Memoria. I am proud of Blas and love that he had a hand in writing this song. My change? He said recently that the staging in Rotterdam won't be inspired by the poignant music video despite wanting it to be - I would incorporate elements from it in the live.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Frankly, I think almost all the Big 5+1 brought it this year, with the notable exception of Germany. Embers is the banger that I never thought was coming from James Newman, and it's been one of the biggest earworms of the season. I wouldn't change anything about it - I'd just ensure that the staging replicated the energy of the video as much as possible!

[gayregis]

tbh as a polish person genuinely vibing with any kind of mostly english speaking witcher fandom is kinda hard bc theres just. so many small mistakes and just a feeling of Wrongness in the translation that couldve been fully avoided? like using womanizer instead of whoremonger for dandelion or saying comrade instead of friend etc and like im mad bc with some more effort it couldve been done way better and actually carried over more of the og atmosphere for international readers And It Didnt

i agree with you from the ‘can only read the english translations’ side. i feel like definitely the official UK translations shifted a lot of the meanings, of course i do not know how it is in every single scene, but from the lengthy posts i’ve read on reddit, some posts i’ve read on tumblr, and conversations i’ve had with mutuals over discord, plus just generally reading the books and saying to myself “wait, this doesn’t sound... cohesive?” i agree that are are a lot of changes that shift the perspective. 

one part of this is the deliberate mistranslation of general vocabulary used with the intention (i think) to give a more “medieval-ish fantasy” vibe to the work. i feel like david and danusia really went for some british slang that gives it a more “english medieval” feel (or at least, how medieval england is conceived of in the modern english-speaking imagination), when more widely-known words without such specific connotations (for the speaker and for the subject) would be more appropriate. 

for example, i have heard that a lot of the translations of “maiden” or “wench” are more akin to “girl/woman” in the original text. another example is “comely lad” VS “pretty boy,” two translations (the former official, the latter fan-translated) that mean the same thing essentially but the former one is “brit-ified” (to me, at least). and i know that sometimes the translators chose specific words to keep a “peasant-speak” vibe with the usage of specific language, for example, with milva, but instead of being confined to peasantry, it extends across a lot of characters. 

another part is figures of speech that don’t translate over due to being polish-specific idioms, or being reliant on the polish grammar structure. imo the translators are too eager to replace these with english figures of speech/idioms. a lot of the time when polish fans have pointed this out and said, this is different in the original text, the original idiom is so-and-so, which basically means this-and-this, i am able to understand the translated idiom, when it is in context. 

for example, i believe that in the english version of baptism of fire dandelion says to regis, “was it just you and your shadow?” and regis replies, “worse, i don’t even cast one.” but in the original text, the exchange goes something more like “were you drinking to the mirror?” “worse, i don’t even show up in mirrors.” the idiom “drinking to the mirror” meaning drinking alone does not exist in english, but it would have been at least a little obvious to me as a reader what the meaning of the idiom is. i suppose it is up to preference, but i would prefer to have the original figures of speech kept intact, with a little footnote at the bottom included for explaining context / what its meaning is.

another part is cultural references and history that end up getting lost. references to other works, etc. 

an example is in the edge of the world when torque says “good night” at the end to geralt and dandelion. without knowing the phrase, “where the devil says goodnight,” this is completely meaningless. and context about polish/broader european history is mostly also lost on a non-polish audience, because it is not something that is basic knowledge.

it doesn’t just extend to polish references, for example, regis quotes cicero quoting one of the seven sages, “omnia mea mecum porto,” basically “all that’s mine i carry with me,” which ig is a nod to how regis is a philosopher and lives simply, is a humanist, etc.

and this isn’t even beginning to touch all of the arthurian stuff he put in there.

mostly, i end up being clueless because i do not know what the original text was, and i know that if i could see the original text, i would not understand it and would need it explained to me. 

i guess a positive side of this is that i like uncovering what was originally said and hearing it explained, scouring the internet for someone who has addressed a specific passage or something... it helps foster some conversation, kind of like two kids comparing christmas presents - what’s in your translation? what’s in your translation? what’s in the original text? - it is fun to see everyone start posting pictures and screenshots of their books, like trying to unravel a mystery as a group, and i enjoy that, especially when there are more international translations than just polish original and english translation, i like seeing the czech, russian, spanish, french translations and then learning things from these languages/cultures/countries because they showed up in the text.

on the other hand, it hinders discussion because if people are operating on different translations, they will have widely different perspectives of the characters based upon what the characters said or how they were described. you are not the only person i’ve heard express this sentiment, and agreed that it’s difficult to “genuinely vibe” across language barriers regarding the series. polish geralt is a totally different character from english geralt, from what i’ve heard, to summarize it.

and even if you do research as an english-speaking person to find out the mistranslations, the meanings behind certain phrases or references, etc., you still will probably never understand it fully, nor will you uncover everything there is to uncover. 

i dislike leaving it like this, but it kind of “is what it is” with the language barriers and translations. a lot of the original atmosphere wasn’t and possibly will never be fully translated over (in some cases, it may be impossible). i would say don’t feel like you “have” to engage with every fan of the witcher books, if you feel you don’t vibe with english speaking witcher fandom that is okay and i hope that no one would judge you for it, everyone should hang out and talk with who they want to hang out and talk with. but i also get the disappointment because you want to connect, but there is just a lack of understanding. it shouldn’t be the burden to fall on you to be like, hey guys actually in the original text this scene is different / you’re misinterpreting this-- but if you ever want to say or make posts like this, i think this would be great and a contribution to the community. i would also say idk if it is possible if the interpretations are extremely different, but some broader themes like family, love, humanity, etc. imo do join the fans of the books in some way or another, big or small, despite how wonky the translations get. and finally, i want to say i am not here to give advice or consolation, because i certanly don’t know what can be done about this, i just want to respond to this and say that you’re not alone.

[booksonablog]

A Fresh Start: Harry Styles Imagine

Prompt: You took a break from a rough go of it and decided to take a trip to Paris. Upon going, you meet Harry Styles

    The last couple months was a rough one for you. You had broken up with your boyfriend who you were truly in love with, in fact, he had been your first love. He broke your heart, this was the first time you ever dealt with a broken heart from a relationship. You were shattered in every possible way, and while you had broken up with him because his true colors of jealousy, trust issues, short temper and much more started to show very quickly. You tolerated much more than you should have, but in your defense, you thought it was a relationship worth fighting for, and you did exactly that, giving him many chances till the last straw broke. To top it off, within the week, you found out he was already on dating apps and had been supposedly seeing a girl from the gym you shared. You found this information through friends and it crushed everything in you. You knew you made the right decision, for many reasons, however, as much as you wish your last tear for him would be your last, memories of the two of you and the thought of how quickly he moved on broke you down into a fit of depression. Additionally,most of your family met him and after going to a family gathering you had to muster up the courage to answer them when they asked how he was doing But you couldn’t, so you shook your head and gave a half-smile when they left their mouth agape, shocked at the thought of you two not being together. He was an asshole to you now that you knew who he really was, but you remained emotionally because of how much it meant to you and how little it meant to him. Everything would remind you of him in some way. You also lived in a small town, now living in fear of seeing him. And for these reasons, you decided to dig into your travel fund and go on a solo trip to Paris.

***

Here you were walking the streets of Paris looking adorable and feeling refreshed. Of course, those feelings didn’t totally go away, but where you were now compared to before just gave you so much hope. You had just landed a few hours ago and you were already having a sweet time. The air was fresh, the smell of delicious gourmet food wafted over from the local bakeries and cafes. As you were on your stroll you watched the locals around you. Every now and then bikers would pass, zooming by, some glancing towards you and nodding with a smile. People chatting as they shopped or ate their lunch. It was so warm and beautiful. 

You had spotted a vintage hole-in-the-wall shop so you walked in, greeted by a nice older french gentleman. You weren’t completely fluent in french but you had taken classes back in high school and you had brought a pocket-sized translation book you studied prior to your trip that now sat cozy in your purse just in case. The shop was cute, like a vintage grunge. The walls were painted pink but most of it was covered with old music posters and records. Fairy lights hung from the ceilings as well as those star lights you had wanted from IKEA. The workers conversed in the corner, all young and very fashionable, each uniquely different aesthetics. You casually skimmed through the racks of clothing and admired the taste of fashion the french had. You had similar styles at home but these were much different, more original. 

You turned the corner to look at another rack of beautifully designed vintage jackets. There was a boy in the aisle, you didn’t see his face, though you peered over, admiring his sense of style. Very vintage pastel MacJagger vibes. Kinda like Harry Styles. Your heart skipped a beat, he looked a lot like Harry. You would die if it was him, but he never turned, so you dismissed the thought, determined to check if he would turn around. You continued looking at the jackets, pulling one out and holding it up to admire it. 

“Nice jacket.” you heard. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, looking over to - Harry Styles.

You froze, Harry kinda froze too, until flashing a sweet smirk that woke you from your trance.

  You felt your cheeks turn red and moved the jacket down and close to yourself as a new security blanket. You moved a piece of your hair back nervously before saying “Hi,” shyly.

  He chuckled, thinking your reaction was very cute. he would usually ask a fan if they wanted a picture or ask them questions, to be more comfortable but this time he decided to ask out of genuine curiosity, because to him, you seemed like a girl that wasn’t from here, but belonged here. You seemed shy but had this glowing positive aura about you that he genuinely wanted to learn about.

  “Are you new here?” He asked, leaning slightly over a vintage table. 

You tried to act calmy, after all, he was still human like the rest of us, just...popular. “Is it that obvious?” You smiled, still not making eye contact.

  “Not exactly.” He smiled. This time you looked up at him. He was breathtaking yet enlightening. You felt your body take a small step forward, naturally radiating towards him, you stopped yourself. You looked down again, picking at the sleeve of the jacket.

  “What brings you to the lovely city?” He asked. 

  You shrugged, unsure of the short version. “A fresh start.” You gave a small smile, hanging the jacket back.

  Harry adored your answer. He wanted more but didn’t know what else to say, being just as taken back as you were. 

  “How long are you in the city for?” He asked

“Two weeks.” You smiled at him, feeling your cheeks grow red again every time you looked at his gorgeous facial features.  

  Harry felt a little disappointed - a cue to take action on this new peculiar feeling. He stood up, his figure taller. “I don’t suppose you’d like a tour of the area?” He asked with a smirk, this time looking away from you, nerves kicking in because of his own forward intention.

  You were stunned but quickly answered, accepting that you sounded way too eager. “I’d love a tour!” You winced at yourself, looking back at the rack beside you, making him chuckle.

"Wonderful." he smiled.

***

The two of you left the shop and continued walking down the street. Nervous was an understatement of how you were feeling, however, you were keeping your cool very well. He began to tell you about this street and the infamous vintage hole-in-the-walls that he enjoyed shopping at. He sounded calm but enthused about the area, eventually calming your nerves.

"Have you had any macarons yet?" He asked with a bright cheeky smile.

"No, but I love them!" You jumped, earning a cute laugh from him.

"C'mon then," he gestured to this small bakery in between two other buildings. "They have the best in town, you'll absolutely love them!" He exclaimed, practically skipping towards the building.

***

At the shop he had scanned the glass debating on what to get before choosing cookies & cream. He looked over at you peering down at the array of sweets. "What would you like love?" He smiled. "Surprise me." You said quickly as to shield your blushing cheeks. He smirked and stuck his tongue out before ordering, admiring your response.

***

The two of you continued down the street, the macaroon box swinging from his wrist as you both took bites out of your treats.

"Mm," He moaned rolling his eyes dramatically, "Delicious." Making you laugh. "How's yours?" It was sweet and savory, absolutely delicious. But you were bold and wanted to tease him playfully. You looked at him and grimaced, his eyes widened and mouth agape, "What?! You don't like it?" You started laughing. He chuckled with a confused look on his face. "It's fantastic!" You exclaimed. He sighed in relief, "Very well done." He laughed, "I thought I got the shittiest flavor I was gonna give you mine!" The two of you laughed.

***

The town near your hotel was fairly small but you followed Harry's lead. "What are you planning to see during your stay?" He asked. "Museums, the Eiffel Tower, a lot of touristy stuff but also hole-in-the-wall shops and foods." He nodded. "I know it's impossible to do everything in two weeks, but I'd love to soak up as much of Paris as I could." He smiled, looking up at you. "And why's that? Why Paris?" You thought about it, looking at your beautiful surroundings, the color of the sky was starting to grow pink, making the scenery look just like a painting. "Because, as cliche as it may sound, Paris is the city of love and beauty. I wanted to surround myself with lovers, dreamers, and an artistically rich environment in hopes that I can mend myself back together and perhaps discover something new." A smile crept on your face at your own words. You felt this warmth in your heart that brought you hope, reassurance that you would be okay. You looked over at Harry realizing the silence in between you two. "I'm sorry," you apologized sheepishly, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear, "Was that too much information?" You giggled nervously. He shook his head, his expression was sympathetic and intrigued. "Not at all. I think that was a lovely answer." He spoke truthfully. You smiled at the ground and nodded, still a bit embarrassed. "What about you? What brings you to Paris Harry?" You asked, peeking at his reaction. He looked forward and grinned, nodding in recognition. You smiled, "C'mon, one of us had to mention it." You smiled at him politely waiting. He nodded, still smiling at your smooth gesture. "I realized I hadn't taken a trip by myself, even prior to One Direction. So I decided why not now, so I packed my bags and decided I'd stay out here for about a month or so, visit some friends of mine and enjoy this - independence." He gestured with his hands, shrugging at his own words. "How long have you been here so far?" You asked. "About a week I think." "You love the city." You smiled. He smiled, "I do. It's a lovely city. Couldn't have described it any better than yourself." He smirked. He wondered if he should elaborate on "who he is," wondering if she had questions and if it would make a difference, you wondered the same. Neither of you spoke about it afterwards, continuing your walk.

***

He bought the two of you lunch at a pop up fresh market the two of you found. You walked with him through the fresh market pointing at all the different foods and treats, even speaking to the locals, some English and some French speakers. He was shocked when you spoke a bit of French and even understood some. He spoke some as well as understanding the locals, it was smooth, maybe because of his accent but it sounded very elegant and made him even more attractive. Little did you know he thought the same of you.

"You speak french?" He asked before taking a bite of his sandwich. You smiled, pulling the strand of hair back behind your ear again. "A little bit. I studied the language when I was in high school and studied a bit afterwards." "You nearly sound fluent." He smiled, covering his mouth as he continued chewing. You smiled at him, "Thank you. You're pretty fluent yourself." He nodded, "During One Direction, the boys and I had to study languages with professional translators because of frequent travelling." "That's pretty cool." You grinned at him, finishing your food. "It was, we got to learn a hefty amount of the basics for each language, we wanted to communicate with our fans. We each learned more on our own, gradually, as we travelled during tours. It was lovely." He smiled, throwing away his wrapper, offering his hand to throw away yours as well. You smiled at him, placing the wrapper in his hand.

***

The two of you had spent the day casually walking the local town that you didn't realize how dark it was getting till the sky had turned a very dark electric blue. "I should probably head back." You spoke, wanting to cry at your words. Of course you didn't want your dream-like day to end, but reality set in and you figured there wasn't much else to do about it, shutting down the idea of food and dessert simply because the two of you had eaten late and were no longer hungry. Harry offered to walk you back to the hotel, so the two of you walked back and continued your conversation all the way back.

***

The two of you were so wrapped in conversation you didnt even realize that both of you were heading to your room till you were in the elevator. Your laughs dispersed upon the realization as the elevator went up to your floor. The two of you walked all the way to the front of your hotel room door. You untucked your lip from between your teeth and turned to face him. He was already smirking at you, realizing the sad awkwardness between the two of you. His hands were behind his back, he looked like a sweet handsome gentleman and you wanted nothing more than to gently brush your fingers along his jawline and plant a soft kiss on his cheek, but you didn't dare. "I had a lovely time with you Harry. Thank you for the tour and the treats along the way." You smiled. He chuckled. "Of course." The space between the two of you started to diminish the longer you stared at each other's eyes, but Harry was the first to break it. He turned his head before looking back at you.

 “Do you mind if I get your number?” he asked, resisting the urge to apologize for being so forward.

  You stood stunned before swallowing, "Yeah, of course.” You scrambled for a pen and paper in your purse, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. He noticed yet again, gathering that it was something you did when you were nervous or embarrassed. You took the pen out and searched for a piece of paper in your bag. Harry turned to see a table in the hotel hallway with a pad and pen on top. He casually leaned over before casually tearing off a piece of paper.

  “Shh, we won’t tell.” He smirked at you, making you giggle. He handed it to you. You reached to grab the paper, your fingers lightly brushing against each other. His fingers were painted a vibrant pink and green, yours were a soft yellow.

  “I like your polish.” He admired.

  You shyly thanked him, “I like yours too.” You smiled, looking down at the piece of paper as you wrote your number neatly, along with your name. You handed it back to him.

  “Y/N.” Your name smoothly left his lips, making your name sound sweet like honey. “Beautiful name.” He looked at you directly with a serious subtle smile. You smiled back, growing red, internally begging him to stop before you throw up and die right in front of him. “It was lovely to meet you y/n.” 

Perhaps there will be a part 2...I enjoyed writing this one, hope you guys enjoyed it as well, lmk if you’d like to see a part 2.

[harostar]

Before the Dawn

Okay, so a summarize of key points from the novel.

Theodore is the greatest thing ever. Just...I need this flamboyant, middle-aged Shonen Idiot hero in the series proper already. His glee at wanting to PUNCH THINGS is just amazing.

Rumpole is very interesting, in terms of being so incredibly secretive that not even Theodore knew her first name. I know it’s primarily about her inspiration, but at the same it’s interesting that she is such a secretive and mysterious woman. Bad Bitch Club with Glynda, you know it.

Yatsuhashi is a precious soul and must be protected at all costs. He’s going to hold Velvet’s flower while she breaks faces.

Team NDGO are the Mean Girls in every school, bitchy and catty and petty. I noticed that indeed, we never see them in scenes during the Battle of Beacon. So yes, those bitches heard Ironwood’s rousing speech about fighting to protect the people......and then got on the first fucking transport out of there. They ran and they aren’t even remotely ashamed or apologetic about it.

Nolan x Scarlet when?

Man, Nolan’s situation is just....really dark. Like we knew people died at Beacon and saw one of his teammates get carried off by a Grimm. But to find out his entire team DIED fighting, and he’s just a broken wreck over it is painful to watch. 

Honestly, I was surprised that The Crown had nothing to do with Salem. At least not directly, as they are oblivious to all that. They’re compared to the White Fang, in terms of being a terrorist group that wants REVOLUTION.

In this case, we get a stronger picture of how Vacuo views the rest of the world. Their kingdom was strip-mined by Mantle, completely devastated and then further destroyed by the Great War’s final battle. The kingdom harbors so much resentment towards the other 3 kingdoms for exploiting them. This translates into resentment towards the Refugee Students, who are seen as not committed to Shade or Vacuo. They’re outsiders that just want to use Vacuo, to get strong enough to go home.

That seems to be a major theme throughout the story: Home. What is home? The Crown represents a colonized people that want to return to the “old ways” through violent revolution, as taken advantage of by a delusional asshole with a complex. But their primary victims are their own people, who they exploit as brainwashed foot-soldiers or kidnap to use as Aura batteries.

Jax and Gillian are.......a piece of work. And honestly kind of scary, but in a way that it’s good Salem didn’t manage to make use of them. Jax’s Mind Control is very scary stuff, and his abusive relationship with Gillian is so tragic. He kinda honestly deserves what he got, being mind-wiped by Yatsuhashi and Gillian.

Gillian....oh girl. She has a lot of parallels to Jaune that are really interesting, and I wonder if we’ll meet her during the Vacuo arc. She believes in the stories of her royal lineage and feels called to honor that legacy with heroism. But it’s corrupted by her brother’s ambitions and jealousy. And her Semblance is a very dark version of Jaune’s Semblance -- Aura Amp, having a vast pool of Aura to share with others for healing or support vs Aura Siphon, a psychic vampire that can steal Aura and transfer it around. She can empower others, and for this her brother uses her as basically a living battery. Even her finally turning on him and stopping him for good is still ultimately about loving the abusive prick, because she doesn’t want him to die.

So Neptune’s hydrophobia is no longer funny. His Semblance allows him to control water by touching it, but he nearly drowned himself and his brother when they were children. So he’s genuinely terrified of touching water, because he’s afraid he won’t be able to control it. 

Okay so Vacuo Arc villain is the Nome King? Yes?

We have “Dorothy” with his Ruby Gloves, Silver Boots, and the Silver Belt that in the books belongs to the Nome King. We have Ozma and the Scarecrow coming to Vacuo. And we have a kingdom that resents the theft of its mineral resources. AND! AND! In the books, the Nome King was once an ally of Santa Claus -- aka Nicholas Schnee. 

[wordsinwinters]

Then Again, Part 24  (Peter Parker x Reader)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 25,

Summary: After an intense argument and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else. 

Slow burn fic in which all characters are included and their dynamics explored; multiple character POVs. 

Total word count: 43,528

Betas: @girl-tips-from-satan and @fanboyswhereare-you

Masterlist (with AO3 links)

Without further ado,

Then Again Part 24:

(Words: 3,391)

After clarifying to Flash that it was not like that, I return to my and Michelle’s room, ice bucket in hand.

It’s brighter now. The light on the nightstand is on and Michelle’s sitting up, eating Twizzlers from a bag she keeps upright with her feet. Her hair is tied back too. On screen, Bella analyzes her bruises and Edward starts an argument.

“Holding out on me, huh?” I ask, gesturing to the candy.

She shrugs and smirks. Another good sign. A great one even, after a long day like today.

“I planned on bartering for some ice, but I waited for forever and there was no one to trade with. What was the hold up?”

I make a pretend distressed face and blow out a long breath as if the story physically pains me. Walking over, I put the ice on the nightstand between our beds and sit on the edge of mine. Peter and Ned’s side of the wall still hasn’t settled: the t.v. noise continues flickering, now at a faster pace. One of them is undoubtedly trying to annoy the other into picking something to watch, and the exchange of incoherent voices seems to support that assumption. 

Part of me wants to check in on them and hang out for a bit, but I need to focus on my current task: explain things clearly to Michelle and give her Flash’s apology. Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s too tired to stay up much longer and I doubt she’d want to be left alone (even if she assures me otherwise). 

Either way, it’s time to tell her about my conversation with Flash.

“You know how, um--” I pause, wondering where the best place to start is. She knows what Flash did, there’s no need for extensive exposition. She raises a curious eyebrow at my hesitation and glances pointedly from the bag between her feet to me as if to say, You can have a Twizzler once you spill. A fair and simple trade. Better to dive right in, then. “You know how Flash blackmailed me this morning? To give up my spot?”

Michelle’s head tilts to the right.

“No?” Her eyebrows scrunch and her lips press together. “I think you forgot to mention that.”

We stare at one another, mutually perplexed and frozen.

Huh. I was certain she had put it together. 

Behind us, Ned shouts muffled words and laughs loudly while his and Peter’s t.v. volume begins to increase. 

“I, uh,” I start, tilting my head too. “I thought you knew.”

“Yeah, I got that from the, ‘You know how’ part of your sentence.”

A beat of silence passes between us; I can tell that’s not the end of her sentence, so I wait. If she had more energy, maybe she would be frustrated with me. Right now though, all she can muster is a look of stunted disbelief, an emotion I’d label the tame, languid cousin of scandal and outrage: a gentle but honest really?, with the edge of a potential eye roll. She plops two ice cubes in her water, takes a sip, then continues.

“How would I know something like that when you never said anything to me?”

The wall gets louder behind us. The boys have resumed their argument it seems. It’s playful, probably, but the t.v. volume is increasing at the same rate as their voices so I can’t distinguish any words to really tell. Michelle notices my distraction. She gives an abrupt smack to the wall as a warning to them.

Her eyes remain level with mine, though, questioning.

“Because,” I say, “you always notice things without people telling you.” 

She pauses again, looking thoughtful. Unable to deny it, she makes an eh sound which translates to true enough, I’ll give you that and her shoulders relax as her eyebrows smooth back into their usual place. She reaches over and extends a Twizzler like an official olive branch. To complete our silent agreement, I move on to exchange my end of the bargain: I tell her the rest of my story.

The sound behind us stagnates right around my second or third sentence, which is an unexpected relief, seeing the boys rarely halt their ridiculousness when they make up their minds to annoy one another. While trying to ignore them and stay on track, my phone buzzes a couple times. Probably Flash, now that we’re on better terms. It’s probably a meme. Unimportant.

Quickly rambling on with only a couple short moments of respite for chewing or sipping water, I go over the rest of the incident. I explain how I ran into Flash, everything we said to each other, his apologies (one for her, one for me) and, of course, how unsettling it was to see him in such casual wear as pajamas. As I talk, tracing back once or twice to recount my version of what happened -- or what I thought had happened -- this morning (and shooting my phone annoyed looks when it buzzes again since it must be him), Michelle eats her licorice as if on autopilot, keeping her face deliberately blank even though I can tell she’s picking through the strings of her old assumptions and matching them up to my own version to compare narrative split ends. 

“You know,” she says after I finish, a half eaten Twizzler dangling from her hand as she waves it to gesture. “You could have double-checked with me this morning, to make sure I actually knew. You would’ve been on that stage with us today if you had. I would’ve confronted him and gotten to the bottom of it all. I would never have just let it happen.”

Fortunately (or unfortunately, I haven’t decided which), I’ve already come to terms with this fact. It was an incredibly stupid mistake to have made -- to have misread both Flash and Michelle -- but it happened and the consequences are over. Today has been irreversibly stamped into the short timeline of my high school career and nothing will change it now. The opportunity was missed. And at least there’s next year. The less I think about it, the better. It’s done.

“True,” I shrug. “But who knows if I would’ve gotten all those questions Flash answered right. Maybe the way it played out was for the best.”

That might as well be true, why not? I offer a devil’s advocate smile and she shakes her head, finally giving into a full eye roll. 

“Don’t remind me. But really, I doubt that. He was good today, but you would’ve been better.”

Would I have been? After all those… distractions from the previous 24 hours, I have no idea if my concentration would have been up to par. All the same, it doesn’t matter anymore. The two of us are on the same page at last and that’s all I have room to care about tonight. We can relax completely. No more tension, no more unanswered questions. No secrets. Well, aside from my teeny tiny stupid one.

I start to move backward, further onto the bed. Then I stop. 

Just because it did work out though, that never really had anything to do with my behavior or the choices I made. I had no idea what would happen. There were multiple reasons I let Flash take my spot this morning, apart from the real fear of nonexistent blackmail, but I still shouldn’t have given up so easily.

I turn and look at her. 

“Really though,” I say, realizing the truth of it, “I’m sorry for bailing. If Flash hadn’t come through, if he froze up like last year, I know it could’ve been... things might not have ended up as well as they did. I hate flaking on you, especially when you worked crazy hard this year. I promise, next time I’ll come to you first.” Michelle’s posture stiffens and she has her subtle, trademark backed into an emotional corner face, the one she makes when someone unexpectedly gets too sincere. Try to make it a little funny, at least. “And, naturally,” I add, leaning back, “I’ll never trust your infinite wisdom and analytical skills again.”

Michelle smiles then. Whether it’s from relief or amusement, I can’t tell, but it’s still the lopsided one I know is genuine. Infectious, I can’t help but return it like a reflex. The final drops of my own relief rush through my veins, rivers of warm comfort settling under my skin. 

“First,” she says, holding up a finger, “there’s no need to doubt me. Technically you were never blackmailed which is why I didn’t catch on, so you can keep faith in my deductive skills. Two,” another finger goes up, “I highly doubt this scenario will happen a second time. Third,” and another, “don’t sweat it.” She waves her hand away.

“But what if it does?” 

Egging each other on is vital to our friendship. Previously unsure if we’d get back to that level of normalcy by tonight, I’m practically perfectly happy knowing we actually have.

“I’ll kick your ass. Naturally.”

Yet again, she offers a Twizzler, this time with a promissory bow. 

Now less hungry and far more relaxed than before I left, we both shuffle back against our headboards and turn our attention to the movie. Leah tells Jacob to get over Bella, and he angstily rants to the younger boys about how relationships are all but prisons. I try to get more comfortable, sliding an extra pillow up behind my back. After a few minutes, my phone vibrates. Oh yeah. I’d almost forgot to check it. I reach over, surprised to find that it hasn’t been Flash.

Peter, 11:03 p.m.:

“Hey. Update: still alive.”

Peter, 11:04 p.m.:

“You?”

Peter, 11:10 p.m.:

“shit... are you dead? have you been kidnapped??”

Peter, 11:12 p.m.:

“:(”

Peter, 11:17 p.m.:

“If you don’t reply soon, beware. Ned is being dumb and annoying. the worst.”

As I read, another pops up:

“You know. like always.”

I hear Ned shout a complaint a second later, though it’s too blurred from the t.v.’s interference to hear his exact words. My lips tug upward a bit. 

The housekeeper interrupts Edward and Bella’s makeout session, staring at him with a mixture of fear and hatred, and they breathe-laugh until she leaves. 

I type back: Alive, safe and sound. I consider writing, But barely. I ran into Flash a few minutes ago. I don’t though, knowing it would only aggravate him without purpose. Plus I don’t want to go over it again, especially the particulars. It’s boring at this point. It was boring to begin with, and now after verbalizing it once, it would be exhausting. Instead, I type: It sounds loud over there. How come? 

His bubbles spring up immediately.

“See above.”

“Ned = annoying.”

There’s a small crunch from their room, like a water half empty bottle hitting someone.

Knowing those two, Peter probably read the insult aloud to Ned as payback for their t.v. argument, if Ned wasn’t already reading over his shoulder.

I reply: “Ned? Never. He’s an angel and we’re thrilled to have him.”

As expected, a few seconds later I hear a distant whooping sound and the shadow of Ned shouting something grateful and co-conspiratorial to me.

In reply, Peter sends back three eye rolling emojis. 

At the same second I send a shrug, his bubbles turn into: “btw I have a really great idea”

An idea? For what? Even though the wording is positive, it makes me nervous.

“?”

Four messages follow, one after the other, as quickly as he can type them.

“Okay so hear me out”

“I know you don’t like Freud…”

“BUT”

“Operant. Conditioning.”

The bubbles disappear. 

What? 

This makes no sense to me. Is it supposed to? We haven’t discussed operant conditioning in Psych for months. And, now might not be the time for me to point it out, but he’s mixed up in the first place. 

Unable to resist and not knowing what else to say, I send back: “You mean Skinner?”

The bubbles start up, then stop. Twenty-ish seconds later:

“You got me there. +3 points! but what do you think?”

Despite the background noise of Bella vomiting peanut butter chicken legs into a toilet, the “+3 points” nearly makes me laugh. We haven’t played that game (if you could even call it a game) in months.

“Peter,” I type. “Context is important, remember? No clue what you mean”

Figuring said context will take a few minutes, I put my phone back down and look up at the movie. Maybe I imagine it, but Michelle’s head seems to twitch when I do. It might’ve been a small jump from seeing the kick in Bella’s stomach matched with the suspenseful music.

Buzz. Pause. Buzz. Longer pause…. Buzz.

Three is usually Peter’s go-to, so I check it.

Peter:

“I know you’re going to say you’re not mad at me anymore, but you deserve to be and probably are a little bit subconsciously or unconsciously (idk which is which so +2 to you before you correct me)” 

“so in order to get our friendship back to normal I think we should try operant conditioning” 

“Like me doing nice stuff when I see you so you think ‘oh wow I get to see peter today! how cool! love that guy, he’s the best!’ when really it’s just me pyshcologically tricking you into positive associate by giving you snacks when you come by my locker”

Another pops up: “Psychologically* Im dumb”

And another: “I’m*** smh”

I stare.

That’s possibly the worst idea I’ve ever heard. The last thing I need are more reasons to look forward to seeing Peter. I mean, the part he quoted isn’t all that far off from how my brain usually reacts when I see him. Simplified, for sure, but a similar sentiment nonetheless. 

I wrack my brain for a response, trying to block out Edward’s shaky Portuguese begging. “Sure, you can try your best.” No. Sarcastic and challenging is definitely the wrong approach here. “Maybe. Talk about it later?” That could work. It might also mean he brings it up on the bus tomorrow, potentially resulting in unpredictable reactions from anyone who overhears. I’d rather people not know so much about our personal post-fight dynamics. “I’ll think about it.” That one’s neutral enough.

Still... it’s basically a promise to talk about it soon, which means I have to think about it now and knowing myself, I’ll likely try to puzzle out his plans, imagining dozens of scenarios before I can sleep tonight, allowing his general plan to start working before it even begins, given that I’m fully aware of how considerate and generous he can be when he decides to make an effort. If I spend tonight creating stupid Peter clumsily attempting to display kindness and affection scenes in my head, it’ll just end up… being overwhelming. It’ll worsen this inconvenient, impossible crush.

Or, maybe my expectations will simply go too far and that’s how I’ll ruin it. I’ll agree to this idea now, and by the end of the week or month or whatever the timeframe is, I’ll be disappointed at the reality. Yes, that’s most likely. I’ll read too much into it, as always, and my brain will make it all more painful than necessary.

So instead, I type: 

“Subconscious. Unconscious would be trauma related, memories your brain hides from you and whatnot. You weren’t *that* awful. And I think you mean classical conditioning?”

Sent.

I’m the worst, sometimes. 

I wait for his response with a taste of guilt. His bubbles appear immediately, then evaporate. Again, Ned and Peter’s voices mingle with the t.v. flipping sounds, trampling heavily over the somber music and hum of Jacob’s motorcycle coming from ours.

Just say you agree, part of my brain argues. It’s not that hard. Or say no flat out. Explain yourself to some degree, otherwise you’re an avoidant coward.

I lift my phone, about to type. 

Then, a plastic crunch hits behind my head. Either Peter or Ned definitely just threw a water bottle at my side of the wall. 

Michelle turns to look at me, left eyebrow raised in amusement. Her eyes flit from me to my phone to the headboard.

“What’d you do?” she asks.

Before I can open my mouth to speak, music blasts at a deafening volume behind us: someBODY ONCE TOLD ME, THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME. I half jump from shock, phone flying out of my grasp, and Michelle immediately hits the wall with her open hand. I AIN’T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED. Ned’s laughter is the only thing I can hear besides the Shrek soundtrack. SHE WAS LOOKING KIND OF DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB--

As I hop off the bed and retrieve my phone from the floor, Michelle speedily unlocks hers.

The song continues pounding for about eight seconds. Thankfully, however, by the grace of god (or Michelle, I suppose), it lowers. I’m about to text Peter when Ned appears on her phone directly across from her face, his own face turned, half out of frame.

“Come on, Peter!” he shouts, head shaking in melodramatic pity. “Turn it down, seriously! You’re so obnoxious!”

Peter makes an indignant noise.

“That was all you!” he protests, his voice more distant in the background. “You’re the obnoxious one!”

Ned rolls his eyes and turns back to face the camera.

“Anyway,” he says with his usual grin and cheerful charm, “hi MJ. How’s it going? We’re just--”

“Guys,” calls Peter’s voice, “I swear I tried to take the remote from him!”

“-- hanging out,” Ned continues, bulldozing on, “you know, over here. Chilling, one might say. Celebrating.” 

Michelle squints at him as if mentally weighing the value of continuing this conversation. 

“What if,” she suggests, “you did that in a way that doesn’t tempt me to report you two to Mr. Harrington?”

Ned starts to respond in a fake scandalized tone, but Peter jumps into frame and shoves him to the side for a chance to speak, the camera shaking as he fumbles and grabs it.

“Again, just to restate, I didn’t do anything-- Ned was the one messing with the t.v. the whole time.”

Ned pushes Peter’s face with one hand and yanks his phone back with the other, Peter disappearing momentarily before popping right back up behind him just as the camera steadies.

“You can ask your roommate,” Peter says to Michelle with his arms open wide in surrender. “I’ve been texting her for the last ten minutes. I couldn’t have been messing with the t.v. at the same time.”

The mention of our conversation jolts my pulse a smidge. 

Michelle looks my way.

“It’s true,” I say. “But I don’t know if it irrefutably proves he didn’t do it, seeing as he has two hands and all.”

She nods and looks back at them. Her face, only minutes ago full of sly joy (and the rollercoaster of emotions with which she reacted to the Flash story) remains unamused.

“Overruled.”

Ned ha!’s in his face, but Peter barely seems to notice aside from a distracted shoulder shove.

“Actually, can you point me in her direction?”

Michelle does, and I sit up a bit straighter, feeling strangely unprepared.

He inhales as if he’s about to say something longer and more serious, but instead, after a short pause, all he says is: “You suck. Minus ten points.”

The screen goes black. Whether he or Ned ended the call is hard to tell.

Knowing exactly what he means though, I reach for my phone to text him a real answer to his question, hoping to minimize my guilt and satiate his curiosity. 

“Should I ask?” Michelle tosses her phone onto her bed.

Might as well explain it now rather than later.

“It’s not a big deal,” I say, partially to convince myself that it isn’t. “Peter pitched an idea to help fix our friendship. He wants to psychologically condition me to look forward to being around him. Snacks or something.”

Her eyes widen slightly before rolling. I realize my word choice is poor (though accurate). 

“And?”

I lean my head back against the headboard.

“It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Part 25

Next update: ... next Friday? Let’s hope.

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[popculturebuffet]

Excalibur #1: “The Accolade of Betsy Braddock”

As the magic of Krakoa seeps into Otherworld and puts Morgan Le Fay in a genocidal mood, Betsy Braddock tries to find her place in the new world while also dealing with her idiot brother.. but you know instead of Paul Rudd she has a reality warping man child with mental instablity. Meanwhile Apocalypse adopts an unprouncable name and a new misson statment as a wizard man, Gambit suppresses the urge to kill him and Goldballs tries a new somehow even worse name out.

Welcome back. Due to yesterday being kinda nuts, and the last review being more taxing than planned, this one is kinda late. But better late than never as dawn of X continues it’s win streak with Excalibur, back and better than ever. And thankfully this time, the exposition is all really easy to bake in as we go compared to my last few reviews, so without any delay, it’s time to forge the sword once again. This is Tini Howard and Marcus To’s Excalibur.

We open on a long info page revealing that when Xavier gave his big “While you Slept the world changed” or, to put it more acuratley “All I wanted was to love you , to help you to save your asses and all you did was either try to kill us, look away while others did, or make a token effort at best to help. Fuck you, we’re taking what’s ours bitches. “ speech, Apocalypse gave his own, in a sense telling Humankind “Magic is ours to take back now.... “

We cut to the present where Morgan Le Fay is in Otherworld, basically the court of king arthur, the source of Captain Britan’s power, and a realm created by the british public’s collective subconscious. I don’t get it either. But Morgan Le Fay, Arthur’s evil sister and long time pain in the ass of the Avengers in the 616, has taken over in his absence and nearly drowns one of her minons upon finding something in her well.. a weed affecting it.. and since the x-men have a plant motif and apocalypse made a big MINE NOW speech to the rest of the world.. it’s easy to see Krakoa’s involved. Nice work Apocalypse, your on Krakoa one week and you’ve already pissed off the neighbors.

After the opening titles, we cut to Braddock Academy, basically the british version of Xavier’s and Avengers Academy and unsurprisingly a pet project of Brian’s. Since the school is also the Braddock ancestral home, Betsy’s been crashing here while sorting things out after getting her original body back. Yeah for those of you not that familiar with Psylocke, which I am not but know at least this much, was body swapped with the Assian Kwannon. That was reversed shortly before Dawn of X, which in order to help smooth the transition has given each their own starring roll. And really it is an intresting thing to explore: Betsy spent 5 or 6 years in a body that was not her own, living her life, loving, and doing bloody awful things in the name of the greater good. So it’s no suprise being put back in her old body after all this time and the implications of having basically lived her life in someoen elses skin with the other person now having it back and being understandably pissed about it, having only not gotten it back sooner due to dying of the Legacy Virus. Thankfully this issue dives deep into it and we’ll explore it more as we go.

The child loudly complaning is Margaret, Brian and Meggan’s daughter. Margret is one of the few things Mark Guggenheim’s run on X-Men did that was all that intresting as, probably thanks to a combination of her dad’s magical man juice and her mom’s already shifting genetics, can already talk in full sentences and comprehend stuff at the tender age of 1. Betsy is of course heading to Krakoa but much like Kitty last week, she’s unsure. But it still works: Kitty was unsure because Krakoa, for whatever reason, basically rejected her and staying would just make her a ghost again. For Betsy, she’s gone from living in a stranger’s body and back again and is understandably frazzled and unsure of tommorow.

But as Brian escorts her to the portal on his property, a touch I like as Meggan is a mutant herself and Brian is a longtime ally so it makes perfect sense to put a portal down there both for his mutant students to depart and for Meggan to visit without having to leave her husband behind, he encourages her. This is something I love about the issue: most x-runs I see betsy in kinda forget she has a brother and Uncanny X-Force turned him into an asshole. Here, their close bond and past, she was a supporting character in his book first after all, is shown beautifully as Brian , while happy to have her back, wants her to move on with her life and knows she’ll do great. 

As also seen above Betsy wishes their brother could join them though Brian isn’t so sure. I didn’t really get into Jamie in the other review, and i’m pleased as punch to get here there. Jamie is their older brother.. and also has schizophrenia and the power of god, two tastes that instead create a rancid punch that threatns all life as Jamie dosen’t think anything else is real. Despite this, Betsy wishes he’d be there to see it and hopes it’d make him better. After all if Apocalypse can find a new start here why not him? They literally have worse people on the island.

Speaking of the devil, after Betsy makes her awkward entrance, we cut to Apocalypse who’s of course standing out a window watching everything meancingly, because even when he’s on the good guy side and no longer plotting horribly Darwinian crimes.. he’s still a super villian deep down and old habits die hard. He’s visited by Trinary, a fairly new x-character introduced in X-Men Red, she’s a technopath, as well as one of the brain trust running Krakoa’s computer network. Also as you can see apocapse want’s to be called by his weird Krakoan name.. i’m just going to stick with Apocalypse as I assume it’s the same thing and even Tini Howard herself has flat out admitted she dosen’t have a translation for it and just scripts him as Apocalypse still. He also gets dagger eyes from everyone’s faviorite Cajun as he makes his villianous rant.

Remy does however have more reason than most to hate the man: He was one of Apocalypse’s horseman once: he attempted to go under cover, but underestimated how good the horseman process was and would up having to go to Mr.Sinister of all people to get himself back to normal. So yeah, having the guy who turned you into a monster that tried to kill your future wife, KINDA makes you not willing to have a ham sammich with the guy.  Trinary came to fetch Apocalypse to check out a new gate that opened.. to otherworld.. the problem is Morgan sealed it, and thus Apocalypse , not being a moron, decides they need “a champion” to break it. And since Hercules is on a three month no pants cruise of the bahamas right now, he’s going to have to be less literal about it.  Meanwhile MOrrigan is an asshole to a coven of sorcerers decreeing that they failed her by.. letting mutants exist. Yeah the one weakspot I have with the book thus far is the opening villianess: Morgan Le Fay simply isn’t that intresting and while she’s had a good storyline or too here she’s pissy because.. mutants found magic again. It isn’ t a terrible motive but her steroptical villaness “take my anger out out my minons” stuff is just tiresome and not at all entertaining. She’s the right level of threat for this book, just not fleshed out about enough and is the one real dry spot in this issue. 

Back on Krakoa, Betsy runs into Kwannon and it’s.. about as awkard as you’d expect as you can see.. and really isn’t helping Betsy’s unease. And I actually, despite not having read a ton of comics with Betsy in them get why she’s so uneasy besides the obvious problems of having the woman whose face you stole around all the time: she has no idea what to do. Everyone else on Krakoa, for the most part at least, is fully on board with the new plan, rairing to go. Sure some understandably object to their old foes being there… but theirs a sense of optimism and wonder and happy.. that just dosen’t go with someone who has so much blood on her hands she looks like she took a guys heart out with her bear hands, is in a body that hasn’t been home in years, and has to look the person who’s body she stole, intentional or not, and didn’t put any effort into bringing back from the dead or once she was back giving her her body back in the face. She’s just not in a great place. Thankfully even if her old pal Jubilee dosen’t pick up on this she does get Betsy could probably use some booze. Unfortunatley pressing matters keep her from finding out if krakoa can pour mimosa’s directily into her mouth via some kind of hose bush:

It’s your pal and mine goldballs, one of the five mutants able to raise the dead (but the car is fine). Or Egg I guess but I’m not calling him that. For one goldballs is a far better name just for the ridiculous factor. For another, just call yourself goldeggs. It’s still dumb but egg is somehow dumber. Even add a Z if you want no one cares. Your one of Krakoa’s own personal jesus’. You could rip a person’s throat out and no one would care… though granted that’s also because death is now meaningless for mutants. But yeah as you can see he has a problem and it’s Jamie.

And yup Jamie is back, alive and while not trying to kill everyone, is still kind of a weird asshole. Also I do not want to know what he did in there but I presume he fucked at least one person. Maybe he made them out of thin air, maybe they just came in. Maybe Sinister decided why not. Either way he’s fouling up the pods, and soon puts his foot in his mouth by saying Betsy’s classic look reminds him of better times right after their parents died. However in a nice little character bit he quickly apologizes, showing he has genuinely changed thanks to his resurrection on some level, and admits that the real reason is because they were all together then and all happy. As for why he’s a nusiance, it’s simple: while ressurectees DO need time to recover from you know, the whole being dead thing, it usually takes about ten minutes for the shock to wear off. And while there’s clearly no shock left Jamie is just farting around. Betsy’s response is to treat him like a ten year old. 

It..actually works.. but unfortunately Jamie has about as much intrest in seeing Brian as Brian does in seeing him. And I see why: before he went insane, Jamie was still a supervillian and still hunted brian out of jealousy, while Jamie.. is just kind of a dick. He’s like Krakoa’s own discord: he’s not an apocalyptic godlike threat to the world any more but he will fuck with you just for cheap laughs. Betsy tries using her telepathy to force him to go but Fabio stops her, as it upsets the eggs apparently and decides to drag Brian here, something even Jamie can see as a bad idea. And when the naked man whose been back for all of 5 minutes can see the holes in your plan, maybe you rethink things. But I also get why Betsy is trying so hard at this: She has almost no stablity left and Brian has been her rock, past and present. But Jamie is still her brother and now has the potetinal to do good and while still a loon, is no longer a genocidal madman and is stubbornly refusing to reconcile because he’s decided to swear off humanity. She just wants her family whole and her brothers not trying to kill each other, but is in too bad a state to recognize they need time and may NEVER get along. it’s how it is with family. Dosen’t mean she has to choose one or the other. Brian wouldn’t make her and frankly Jamie isn’t dumb enough to try that.  Thankfully apocalypse interupts Betsy’s extrodinarly bad plan to ask her about the gate.. and point out that Brian himself would be the best way and that, even as a half human, he’d be welcome here in this crisis. He probably get some leeway since apparently the captain britan thing makes him half otherworlder and he is a cosmic champion versus just some joe who wants to enjoy a paradise he hasn’t earned thorugh hard work or nearly dying a bunch. 

Betsy heads to Braddock Manor where Brian is already planning on going to Otherworld to fix this and is naturally not all that inclined to listen to Apocalypse. So as seen above Betsy goes with plan B: She’s going with him even if it’s a trap because fighting alongside her brother doing the right thing is better than moping around an island trying to dodge Kwannon. This also gives me a nice opprotunity to bring up Betsy’s approach to their former enemies. She’s far more accepting than the rest, even Logan outright objected, but I also easily get why: She’s former black ops, having served on one version of X-Force and lead the one right after it. She understands the need for pragmatism and is a pragmatic person. It’s probably why she’s so willing to forgive Jamie: yeah he did terrible things, but at his worst he was mentally ill, and as established by X-Men #1, Krakoa has terrific healthcare and telepaths and empaths to help him work through his issues. He may not WANT to of course, but he’s more likely to and him slowly improving in paradise is better than her brother just being dead to her as a genocidal mad man.  They encounter Morgan who, being basically a 50′s disney villian, expects Brian as otherworld’s champion to start drowning his own sister.. because fuck subtley. 

Back on Krakoa we meet up with Rouge and Gambit. As a tiny bit of exposition for you lapsed ex fans the two are now married. The two reconciled in the excellent Rouge and Gambit mini series, hashing out their long and messy history. Then X-Men gold happened.. see there was SUPPOSED to be a wedding of Colosus and Kitty.. but their reconcilation was so terribly forced no one wanted the wedding and editoral had gambit, of course, steal The Wedding. So the two are in a happy place, though Rouge dosen’t want to use her power dampener on paradise, understandable as said dampener is a repurposed anti-mutant thing and it’d be like brining a pile of nazi gold as your present to a jewish wedding. Rouge then decides , as shown above ot bring up the idea of having kids but before Gambit can say “of course”, Trinary summons them for apocalypse. Apocalypse needs Rouge as he figures her absoprtion power might allow her to serve as a gateway, and a way to retrieve Betsy. Remy, Understandably, dosen’t want her to do this But Rogue is willing to take the risk to save her friend. Remy , now tenativley on board, suggestings bringing in Jubes since she was the last one to talk to Betsy, but A-Train is way ahead of them. 

Naturally, having talked to her all of one sentence, she has nothing. Also curiously apparently Apocalypse wanted Jubes to bring her son, adopted if you didn’t knokw about him, Shogo with her but shockingly she didn’t want to bring her son to see the scary blue man who had no trouble trying to do a murder on a child when she was younger. However Apocalypse really needs her as a bridge between minds: Rouge will touch the portal to break through it and Gambit will keep watch and is all too happy to. As a side note i’d lvoe to see apocalypse babysit “So you see small infant, after that I cleaved the flesh off his skull and put said skull on a pile as a warning to my enimies. You always want to get the flesh nice and clean off.. .the bits create more of a smell and you need to think of the smell. Speaking of the smell I think someone needs a changie!” 

I would too, but i’m pretty sure Remy would be a ground smear, but I think Apocaypse does respect his willingess to try anyway even if he dosen’t take gambit serious as a threat. 

Back in crazy magic lady town Morgan is slowly corrupting Brian, and despite Betsy’s best attempts to stop it, is quickly turned into a warped dark knight who’s trying to shove the amulet of right in her face for some reason.

But with Apocalypse plan in motion, she figures out what’s going on and destroys the portal.. unfortuantley for Rogue this causes to feel weird and then well.. this is the end result.

What exactly the fuck dosen’t even begin to describe this.

Back in King Arthur’s House, Trinary’s words not mine, Betsy tries to kick Morgan’s ass but Dark Brian blocks her… before the above happens.. and it’s clear WHY he was cramming the amulet down her throat... Morrigan has full control of him, he can’t do anything to stop her.. but he can pass it on so she can hopefully stop her or , if he can’t be freed, destroy him before he harms anyone else. He sends her back to the real world as Betsy wails> This scene is damn powerful, as we’ve seen before Brian was one of the few people who understood she was going through some shit and offered her his full support... and now he’s gone, no idea how to rescue him, leaving a wife and daughter behind. 

Back on Krakoa things arne’t much better wirth Rouge int he flower cocoon I showed earlier and Gambit ready to blow Apocalypse’s head off.. and as you can see Apocalypse is like “Fine i’ll come  back from it stronger, but can you please wait? We’ve got a lot of shit going down. But before Apocalypse can pound Remy into a Cajun Corpse, the assembled group is distracted by a returning Betsy. 

And so we end on Betsy, now fully crowned once again as Captain Britain, wondering what the fuck is up with Rogue. We get a quick Epilogue where one of the covern from earlier joins a cult based on the same one related to apocayplypse and we’re out. ‘Final Thoughts: Excalibur #1 is a good start. While some things don’t quite gel, Otherworld isn’t explained at all for those who have never heard of it (raises hand), it feels fresh and makes me invested in Betsy’s struggle, the tragedy Brian goes through, Remy’s fury and Apocalypse, who for once gets to serve as a wise sage instead of a warrior and it’s an intresting role for him, as well as him clearly being set up to mentor Betsy as she rises higher than ever before with her new role. It makes you want to see what comes next and the only real drawback is that Jubilee is basically a tagalong while Rictor is entirely absent, but both I suspect will be fixed with time. As fhte first part of a story, and the first Dawn of X Comic to be part of an arc since the two mini series that launched it, it works well setting things up. As I said the comic suffers from a lack of exposition on Otherworld and from a weak villain, but it’s not enough to distract from this fun, well crafted fantasy and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Until next time, hail to the queen baby.  

[skammovistarplus]

S01E03C06 - Eva and Jorge

Okay, so before I start, I'll admit my bias here: I am hardcore into Eva/Jonas. Like I've said many a time, Eva is in my top 3 along with Isak and Sana, and I would never be able to rank them further. And, for personal reasons, I love Jonas. I think Eva and Jonas are well-matched, but I won't ship a remake Eva/Jonas if the remake puts me off them.

I'm not really an Eva/Penetrator Chris shipper, and I don't feel Skam ever really tried to sell the viewer on it. Skam tried VERY hard to sell the viewers on Eva/Jonas.

So I wrote this as a spontaneous response to a friend saying they'd seen Jorge being compared unfavorably to Marlon (Skam Austin) and Kes (Skam NL), after clip S01E03C06. I’ve cleaned up and added details to post as tumblr meta.

I was not expecting Jorge to say what he said in the clip, about Eva and Inés. In case someone is reading this and didn't see subs yet (mine won't be out for a while, if you're even able to find them, heh), here's the full context of the comment:

Eva: Tío, es que de verdad, cómo que feo. Feo. ¿Desde cuándo te llama feo? Jorge: ¿Y tú? ¿Tú desde cuándo eres así? Eva: ¿Así cómo? Jorge: Pues así. Como Inés.

Eva has found a text from Inés to Jorge that says: "uglyyyy!!! what's up on monday in the end?" (I am being super careful with the wording, because I don't want there to be little nuances in the translation that might influence the way people read the rest of my comments.)

Eva: Dude, I mean seriously, what's with the ugly thing. Ugly. Since when does she call you ugly? Jorge: And you? Since when are you like this? Eva: Like this how? Jorge: Like this. Like Inés.

Again, to my knowledge no Jonas has ever said something like this to an Eva, and especially not at this point in the season. Jorge is saying, first, that there's nothing between Inés and him. Because he can't stand Inés. If he could, he wouldn't make that comment about her. Secondly, he's saying that if Eva turns into an Inés, there's going to be nothing between Eva and him either. A friend interpreted this as a threat on Jorge's part. There's definitely a bit of a threat implied, especially in Jorge's body language. not a physical threat, mind, but a threat that breach of privacy is a CODE RED for him.

I found this interesting, because we don't know a lot of what the other Jonases make of the Ingrids. What do the respective Jonases think of the Ingrids, as people, once they've moved on and gotten together with the Evas?

There's a hint of conflict in some versions. Og Ingrid is big into Russ, Jonas isn't. Tom may or may not be French Ingrid's brother, and also Yann's dealer. Leonie wants to organize the Heroes Party, whereas German Jonas doesn't want to work for people who might be proto-Nazis. Giovanni regards the Villa boys with full scorn, and Laura happily parties with them. Marlon seems to dislike everything Abby stands for, although he will deal Adderall to her.

But we do know what Jorge makes of Inés. He can't stand her as a person, he's only putting up with her for reasons that will be revealed later. Skam España has been making so many changes that it's really up in the air what Jorge and Inés' deal is about.

It's not just that he can't stand her as a girlfriend. He can't stand her as a person, because his walls go up completely when Eva throws the "ugly" nickname on his face. At this point, Jorge and Inés are not together, but Jorge still dislikes her enough that he very empathically does NOT want to discuss this "ugly" nickname business. That's the point where he's done with the conversation and leaves.

I also think this dislike of Inés is something that has been hinted at earlier. As we saw in S01E01C02, Inés and her crew do the Mean Girls walk and give Eva a Look. Unlike other Jonases, Jorge is fully aware of Inés' power move, he notices it and takes it in. His reaction? He makes a point of kissing Eva while they're standing there in Inés' line of sight. This is a show of solidarity with Eva, of course. But, with today's info in mind, you can argue that he's also sending a message from himself to Inés. "You don't get to be possessive over me."

Now, Jorge as compared to Marlon and Kes. I love Eva/Jonas, but I won't ship their remake counterparts if the remake gives me very good reasons not to ship them.

I still ship Eva/Jorge. For the time being, and this is just episode 3 (of 6? of 8?), I believe he's genuinely in love with Eva. Unlike Marlon and Megan, Jorge is not shitting all over Eva's extracurricular activities. Yes, Jorge does have his own agenda when it comes to wanting Eva to find friends of her own, and also his own agenda in asking how the meeting went. On the other hand, he still seems genuinely interested in and engages with Eva about the girls' first meeting.

Jorge is also fully aware that Eva has been invited to a party by a dude who wants to hook up with her, but he displays no signs of jealousy. In fact, he even seems impressed that Eva scammed this rich ass dude out of an invite. Despite acknowledging that Cristian probably wants to hook up with Eva or one of her friends, he doesn't feel like he has to be there to preserve Eva's chastity. Even though Cristian's vibe doesn't mesh with his, he's also not opposed to Cristian on an ideological level (like many Jonases about the respective Penetrators). He thinks Cristian's party is a decent enough weekend plan, and agrees to tag along when Lucas tentatively agrees to it. That is, Jorge is not attending in order to impose on Eva and her friends and ruin their style. His plan was going with his friends and doing his own thing, alongside Eva, but not with Eva.

Now for Kes/Isa. I actually really enjoy both Kes, Isa, Lucas vdH and even the peeks we've gotten of Jayden. I believe Kes is fully into Isa. He's a bit dickish, but there wouldn't be a plot if the Jonases weren't dickish at this stage. My concern is that, whatever Kes is using, is making him physically dangerous towards Isa. And that's a much bigger issue than Jonas smoking pot and being too stoned to attend dinner with Eva and her mom. You could argue that Jorge lashing out at Eva about Inés was done while Jorge is completely sober, whereas Kes only wrestled Isa to the ground while he was high on whatever. But. Shit. As much as Jorge did a whole turnaround from his usual chill self in S01E03C06, he was still just angry. He was not physically threatening. And if he was, I would be getting off this ship immediately. No amount of love for Eva/Jonas is going to make me ship Marlon/Megan, and physical abuse would be well above Marlon's crimes against Megan.

As a final note, I'd like to bring attention to the fact that, so far, Jorge has had absolutely no issues with Eva's new friends and what they do for fun. Jorge's issue with Eva SO FAR is that Eva is becoming too much like Inés for comfort. This is in stark contrast with previous Jonases, who were immediately on the defense upon hearing that the Sanas wanted the Evas to break up, and also had issues of ideology towards Russefeiring and the various adaptations of it. This might change as the storylines unfold, but for now, Jorge's issue has more to do with Eva's past than the changes Eva's friends are bringing into her life.  

[mrlnsfrt]

...then the end will come.

On September 11, 2001, 19 militants associated with the Islamic extremist group al Qaeda hijacked four airplanes and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon just outside Washington, D.C., and the fourth plane crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Almost 3,000 people were killed during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which triggered major U.S. initiatives to combat terrorism and defined the presidency of George W. Bush. - History.com

I was a sophomore in high school, sitting in the music room when choir practice was interrupted by an announcement over the speaker system. The principal informed us in a grave tone that there had been a terrorist attack in New York. I don’t fully remember what he said after that. I had been living in the United States for 5 years at that point and never in my wildest dreams imagined that anything like that could ever happen. Meanwhile, my extended family in Brazil was freaking out. Some of them could not remember if I lived near Boston or New York, (I lived near Boston) and they could not reach us at our home, apparently communications were down for a while after the attack.

Eventually, I got home and turned on the news to try to understand what was happening. Nobody seemed to know for sure. Over time we also managed to contact our extended family in Brazil and reassure them that we were okay and that we were not living in New York. They all begged us to come back to Brazil, it was clearly the beginning of the end. Surely World War III was about to begin and there would be persecutions and famine and we had to leave the US and save ourselves.

For the first time in my life, the reality hit that Jesus could return in my lifetime. Sure, I had grown up knowing that Jesus would come soon, but I had never experienced the emotional impact of that reality. I remember feeling that everything was about to change. I remember wondering how I should live my life, would I ever get a chance to get married? I had started dating the girl who would one day be my wife. Was I ready for Jesus to come? Would I be able to face persecution?

Nightmares

Growing up as a pastor’s kid in the Seventh-day Adventist Church I became aware of end-time events very early on. I was familiar with Daniel and Revelation, I had seen the slides of the beasts, the charts, and I knew that Jesus was coming soon. Interestingly I was not afraid of ghosts or monsters under my bed, I knew those were fake. Interestingly, I was more concerned about the antichrist and the mark of the beast. I do not blame my parents for this. They probably did not realize that I was paying attention during the prophecy presentations and seminars. Also, I didn’t ask them questions at first. Once I began to ask questions my parents were able to put my mind at ease.

What placed my mind at ease was Jesus’ great power and great love for me. It is my intention to also put your mind at ease in this post, but do not confuse that with making you comfortable. That is not my goal.

The Big Picture

I do not intend to zoom in on the specifics of Daniel and Revelation and details concerning end-time prophecies. In this post, I will take a step back and look at the big picture and what Jesus had to say regarding last-day events. It all began with a comment Jesus made regarding the temple.

Then Jesus went out and departed from the temple, and His disciples came up to show Him the buildings of the temple. And Jesus said to them, “Do you not see all these things? Assuredly, I say to you, not one stone shall be left here upon another, that shall not be thrown down.” - Matthew 24:1-2 NKJV

The temple was the greatest architectural wonder in the Middle East at the time and the disciples marveled at its grandeur (cf. Luke 21:5). Jesus, however, immediately redirects their attention to its transience and predicts what seemed inconceivable at the time, that this magnificent building would one day be entirely destroyed.

Imagine Jesus and His disciples, as they continue east across the Kidron Valley and climb the slopes of the Mount of Olives. This place was already resonant with apocalyptic overtones as the place of the Messiah’s coming to judge his enemies (Zech 14:4). Picture the disciples resting on the hillside, probably looking down on the temple below, the temple is so impressive they naturally begin to question when and how such a catastrophe could occur, the destruction of the temple seemed impossible.

They ask Jesus two questions.

Two Questions

Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?” - Matthew 24:3 NKJV

The two questions the disciples asked were probably meant as one. In their minds, the only event that could possibly cause the destruction of the temple must be the end of the world. However, when we read Jesus’ answer we must keep in mind that Jesus is answering two questions. The words of Jesus that follow will be describing both the destruction of the temple and His second coming. This is one of the challenges of interpreting Jesus’ words in this instance since He seamlessly transitions between talking about the destruction of Jerusalem and the His second coming.

Don’t Be Deceived

And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you. - Matthew 24:4 NKJV

I take this to be the main idea. Jesus is not giving us hints in order for us to know the date of His second coming or the destruction of Jerusalem. His main concern is that we are not fooled regarding spiritual things. Jesus’ main concern is the salvation of the world. Regarding end-time events, Jesus’ main concern is that His followers are not deceived.

Signs?

For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows. - Matthew 25:5-8 NKJV

I like the way that the English Standard Version translates this verse 8. “All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.” (bold mine) With this in mind consider that the appearance of false Christs, wars, and rumors of wars, famines, pestilences, and earthquakes are all similar to birth pains.

Like a woman’s contractions before her labor and delivery, these preliminary events remind one of the nearness and inevitability of Christ’s return. But just as a woman may experience false labor and just as genuine contractions still leave her uncertain about the exact time of delivery, so too the events of vv. 4–8 do not enable us to predict the time of Christ’s coming.

- Blomberg, C. (1992). Matthew (Vol. 22, p. 354). Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers.

The disciples clearly asked Jesus “when” these things were going to happen. But Jesus does not seem too interested in the when. Instead, Jesus gives them “signs” that will remind them that He is coming, that Jerusalem would be destroyed, but He is not too concerned about helping them figure out the exact time. Jesus tells His followers what will happen. This is helpful because when these things take place we are reminded that Jesus predicted them, when we hear of wars and experience pestilences we are reminded the Jesus is coming and this helps us to make better decisions presently. But more on that later.

Anything else?

“Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake. And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.  And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come. - Matthew 24:9-14 NKJV

This ties in with what I wrote on A Storm is Coming faithfully following Jesus does not make life a bed of roses. According to Jesus, life in this world will not improve, quite the opposite, it will get worse. By most measurable qualities we are living in times of unprecedented prosperity, health, and safety. Literacy rates are higher than ever in human history, technology has made life easier, large segments of the global population do not have to worry about access to clean water and food. Yet how much happier are we compared to our grandparents? How much happier is a teenager living in a first-world nation than a teenager living in a third-world country? I wonder about these things. Apparently advances in technology, education, and medicine, great as they are, have not been enough to invert the predictions Jesus made. I am not against progress, I am all for it. I have dedicated my life to helping others. Even though I celebrate the good, I am also aware that overall our existence on this planet seems to have its days numbered.

Despite all the good, there is also so much evil. There is so much suffering in the world that is caused by us, humans, afflicting each other, and no government is able to fix it. I don’t want to get into politics except to say that no party or philosophy has the answer. Many views have valid points and flaws, and if we could just take a moment to listen to each other we would see that there are well-intentioned intelligent people on both sides. We have so much more in common than we realize, but we prefer to focus on our small differences to the point that it becomes almost all that we see.

What should I do?

What should I do with all this information? I feel like just giving up, despairing, I feel scared and helpless, what would God have me do?

What should I do when something terrible like the 9/11 attacks takes place?

What should I do when there is a virus that I can’t fully understand making life difficult?

What do I do in the face of wars and pestilences and hate?

But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come. - Matthew 24:13-14 NKJV

According to Jesus, in a very practical sense, I focus on two things.

Enduring to the end.

Preaching the gospel of the kingdom.

Enduring to the end sounds a lot like abiding, which I talked about in my post The One Thing. Another way of thinking about enduring to the end is thinking about not giving up. All you have to do is not give up on Jesus.

Preaching the gospel is very similar to bearing fruit. Discussed in The One Thing and also in Tutti Frutti. It happens naturally when you are in Christ and when His word is in your heart. We preach the gospel in the way we live our lives, in the way we interact with one another, and in the way we talk. That is how we make disciples, we follow Jesus in a way that others can follow us. Sharing our beliefs and telling the story of Jesus are also a part of preaching the gospel and are especially powerful in the context of a life that matches the gospel we preach.

Making it Practical

In my personal life, I have found that the best way to not give up or to endure is to make sure that I am intentionally preaching the gospel or making disciples. When I am involved in ministry I automatically spend more time connecting with God. When I am serving, interacting with others, teaching, helping, I become more aware of my need of God and of the needs of those around me. It takes the focus away from me and my needs and my woes, and focuses my energies and resources on what I can do for the benefit of another.

The best way to make sure your faith in Jesus is strong is to be involved in ministry. To actively look for ways to help others learn about Jesus, to expose the world to the gospel. What can you do to reveal to others God’s great love for them and the plan of salvation?

I would love to read in the comments sections what are some things you are willing to do this week that will facilitate the sharing of the gospel in your sphere of influence.

[iasonag-fmp2]

Project Evaluation

I started this project by keeping focus in Unreal Engine, I learnt a lot about the ins and outs of Unreal and all the different aspects of Games Design in just a few weeks, I did a lot of research into the Blueprints feature and learnt more about how nodes work and their applications, I then translated this into my own work by using the motifs of some code in my own features, which is a big change compared to my last projects in which I didn’t learn too much in Unreal, but I feel like I’ve had a better experience this project and in future I would like to try and follow guides less and build a better understanding of the Engine on my own using my knowledge. 

I dabbled in the Widgets and HUD aspects of Games Design, which also moved into the User Experience and gave me the wider view of player audiences and who could play the game, I feel like in future I should learn to keep accessibility in mind during the start of the project and how the game feels for people to play before I start building up the fundamentals, this is because it will let me build the game on top of the accessibility foundations, rather than building the accessibility around the gameplay.

I also used the Material feature a bit during development, and learnt about Instancing and how it can be used to save time and also make changes in-game, I feel like I learnt a lot about the materials in the Engine, but in the future I would definitely like to learn more about how more nodes work and how they can change how a game looks.

I spent some time in Photoshop creating some crude art assets, while I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know in terms of techniques, I learnt not to spend so much time on assets, as long as they can convey what I want them to in as little detail as possible, then it worked for me. In future, I would like to try to mix gameplay and art together more symbiotically so I can learn more for each and use these skills together.

I spent the last few days of the project in Maya making some 3D art assets, which in the end I wish I didn’t use due to how low quality they are and the lighting issues they caused. In future I have learnt not to spend time on art unless I have enough time to do so, and to make sure I always save old previous versions of my project in case problems like that arise again.

I spent a lot of my time exploring Unreal Engine and it’s blueprint systems so I could make sure that I created a realistic parkour system. I feel like in the future I want to spend more time planning an idea, because in this project I didn’t get my final idea after about 2-3 weeks, but I would like to make sure that I don’t waste time making a game that I won’t enjoy, and end up using less effort in my process and missing out on features.

 In the end I felt like I was limiting myself by taking so much inspiration from LittleBigPlanet and felt like I was going to need a lot of assets to make the game fun. I then began looking into a 3D Free Running game in which I paid no attention to art and instead let the gameplay be the main focus of the project. I had a few problems during development, such as being too ambitious with features such as combat and style points, which I realised would not be possible in the time I had, thankfully I didn’t build the game and the levels around these features so cutting them out wasn’t too much of a problem, in future I want to make sure that I allocate more time to each feature so I don’t spend my time doing nothing, but I will also make sure not to bloat my game in future and only make the important parts of the project, and possibly allocate some time to testing newer features.

I think in terms of gameplay, I have met my expectations and at a push, exceeded them a little! I am really proud of how smooth the movement is and the aesthetics of the menus. I learnt to love the developer art that I made in the end and I wish I didn’t try to change it last minute. I genuinely feel like I have fulfilled my project this time and I really would like to work on it in the future. 

However, there were a few issues I had with my actual process, I started off with keeping up with 10 blogs a week, but as the time went by I fell behind due to the fact I struggle to work from home, and I was in college less and less due to the unfortunate timings of Bank Holidays and half terms, in the end I fell behind a lot and spent the last few days trying to pick up the pieces. I also lacked a decent amount of research, but this was due to my thought process being extremely sporadic and I find it hard to retrace my train of thought.

In conclusion, I spent a lot of time practically on this project and made one of the best games during this entire course. I actually spent more time than ever on blog posts in this project compared to older projects and I went into a lot more detail than usual, but in terms of quantity, I am lacking. I’ve never found a good way to work from home and it has always been a personal issue of mine. I would like to find a way to fix this in the future because it holds me back and will affect me during Uni.

I also learnt the importance of time management when it came to development, and spent as little time as possible doing art and focused more on how the game plays and feels, this is something I’ve been trying to fix during college and it feels great to know I’m making steps to better myself.

I genuinely would like to continue working on this project in future because it’s been a joy working on it.

[anauthenticlifeblog-blog]

When did twenty become the age to be an inspiring success?

I’m nineteen and I feel like I’ve done nothing with my life. I look around me at other people my age, other young adults and I see aspiring models and actresses, professional bloggers, photographers, artists, and entrepreneurs… and they are all barely in their twenties! If this is the path we must jump on to be successful, I am screwed! I am nineteen, penniless, jobless, and currently living in my childhood bedroom for the summer. You see I thought your twenties were all about figuring “it out”. Apparently, I missed the memo and I was supposed to be doing that in junior high. Now, Our twenties are for being wildly successful.  Since when was getting out of your parents’ house and graduating college all before your thirties not enough to constitute you as a success? I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to climb the ladder of success all while figuring out life and obtain my college diploma terrifies me. No. I’m not trying to be dramatic either. The thought of not only having to be successful in the next five years, but having to find something I can be successful at is the reason I have not gotten a full night’s sleep for months. Sure, I have aspirations, passions, and so many things I am good at. But at TWENTY I do not have the means nor the vision to know what I want to pursue, never mind if I could do it in a lucrative manner.

The reason I am writing about this is because I know for a fact I cannot be the only one who is struggling to feel like they do not measure up in a society that functions in this manner. In a society SO focused on being successful it was only a matter of time until this pressure was pushed down upon us young adults. As young adults I think we fall into two main categories: those who are still trying to figure it out and those who have it all together and are wildly successful (If that’s you we would all love to know your secret). If I was to draw a pie chart of what that might look like: 90 % of the circle would be filled with those who are trying to figure it out, 7% would be those who have a slight clue, and the remaining 3% would be young adults who have their lives all figured out. The problem is, society only portrays that 3%. So instead of looking around and feeling reassured that it’s okay because the rest of us don’t have a clue either. We look around on social media, tv, and at the students being spotlighted on our campuses and see the successful, together, and seamlessly perfect 3% of twenty-year old’s. That is when we start to compare and feel inadequate. For me, this happens when I scroll through my social media feeds and begin to look at famous designers and bloggers who are all in their twenties. I then start not only doubting my talents and my designing abilities, but also my future. If these individuals are all wildly successful now, will there even be room for me in such a competitive industry? I am sure your doubts and worries differ from mine, but at the root they all come from the same lies.

You see, society has fed us this lie that success looks ONE certain way. KNOWN. No matter what industry you are pursuing: law, acting, designing, photography, teaching, success is the common factor that remains the same. Being successful, means people know who you are, but more than that it means having the ability to affect others on a grand scale. Success=recognition, but it also equals influence. When we think about the people (either in our job fields, in our lives, or even in history) who we most want to be like usually these individual’s success is based upon recognition and influential. For me, I think famous designers, writers, or activists, all people who were KNOWN for effecting change on a grander scale. Then I compare myself to them and I realize I may never be able to establish the influence they had, let alone by the time I am in my twenties! Again, I am left feeling inadequate. What is my life worth if it is not influential nor successful?

When I begin having these thoughts, I know I need to reexamine my idea of being a success. I think the word success is not only way over used (especially in this blog post), but also has not been properly defined. Everyone’s version of success should be different, especially as young adults. For some, success may be making it through a year of college and only having to retake a couple of classes. For others, success may be choosing not to go to college at all and instead pursing a different dream even if you fail five times before you succeed. For many, success may be remembering to put pants on in the morning. Societies outdated, unobtainable definition of success should not be what we base our lives upon. Because not only is our definition of success going to change depending upon the chapter of life we are in, but also because success is not this overarching rainbow into a world of happiness.

I think Augustus Waters said it best in the Eulogy he wrote for Hazel (But maybe that’s just because I am a diehard TFIOS fan). “See the thing is we all want to be remembered. But Hazel’s different. Hazel knows the truth. She didn’t want a million admirers. She just wanted one. And she got it. Maybe she wasn’t loved widely, but she was loved deeply. And isn’t that more than most of us get?” At this stage in our lives, being young adults with so much ahead of us, so many life altering decisions yet to make, is when failure and oblivion seem so unavoidable. However, oblivion is inevitable and success fades. Your millions of likes and followers don’t translate in to genuine love and relationships. Not everyone will be known widely. However, if you are lucky (like hazel grace) you may get the privilege of being loved deeply and in the end, that’s the only measure of success that never fades.

So, give yourself a break! You are in your twenties and despite what society may try and portray to you being twenty is about figuring life out. You do not have to be a famous actress or successful entrepreneur, you have your whole life to accomplish those goals or make new ones. Even if all you do today is crawl out of your parent’s basement, put on pants, and write a blog post (or something like that) … YOU ARE A SUCCESS!

...

Check out my latest blog post at https://anauthenticlife.wixsite.com/mysite

[jeanjauthor]

I like promoting artists and art as well as the writing stuff...and this is awesome. Flat-out awesome.

The people who put this movie together are artists.  They are art historians (yes, comic books have/need art historians!) and art physicists (you try keeping all those buildings in perspectives at different angles!), and art fans (not fanboys, that’s a perjurative these days) who genuinely care about trying to translate the feel of comic books into an animation style.

I’ve told y’all before that books and movies are different. You can do things in a novel that you cannot do in a movie.  You can do things in a movie that you cannot do in a novel.  But so are comic books.  They’re not novels. They’re not movies. They’re not static art--yes, I know the art just sits there on the page and doesn’t move, but the story inside the comic book, or the graphic novel, etc, etc, that is not static.

Everything you see being done in the clip was a deliberate choice made to evoke a specific experience and/or feeling in the viewer.

I’m thrilled they won the Best Animated Movie Oscar, and I really do think this movie will stand the test of time through the ages for its outstanding animation.

Of course, you can take that with a pinch of salt, because I feel Tron (the original) is still an outstanding example of computer animation...but then I remember the earliest days of computer images, so that’s my benchmark, and for its time, Tron was frikkin’ groundbreaking, and we wouldn’t have Into the Spider-Verse, or Frozen, or Aladdin or Jurassic Park or the Transformers movies--say what you will about any of these, but you’d be lying if you don’t admit Tron paved the way--not because it was the first movie to use computer-generated images (it wasn’t), but because it was the first big movie to popularize it, wowing the audiences of the day.

But honestly, it isn’t the best films that should be lauded for how they stand the test of time, but the first of the best films. Because they paved the way for better things to come.  If you look back at Star Wars (ep IV, A New Hope), it, um...it’s a 1970s film. I love it, and it was frikkin’ groundbreaking in so many ways...but the latest ones do have the higher production quality, if you tried to compare it against them.

However, if you compare it against its contemporaries, it’s no wonder it captured audiences worldwide (and spawned a lot of mediocre to downright craptastic imitators, before finally getting better stuff out there).  It blew a lot of movies right out of the water with how imaginative and creative it was.  Just like Tron did, and--arguably--just like Christopher Reeves’ Superman rewrote the book on superhero movies...even if they really didn’t get going again on that until over 20 years later when the tech to do superhero-y things on screen in a way that audiences could believe started to come true, via Iron Man, kicking off the MCU. (It was because of films like Tron and the Star Wars & Jurassic Park franchises, etc, etc, etc, that all of this became possible.)

And yes, the original Jurassic Park blew everyone out of the water with its CGI dinosaurs, too.  That’s what groundbreaking films do.  I remember hearing the “whooaah!!”s from the audience when we all first saw, along with the main characters in the Jeep, all those brontosaurs, stegosaurues, etc, in the pasture/grasslands. (Do not assume I know perfectly what they were called, I’m talking about the audience reaction, not the nitpicky details of which dinosaurs were in the movie.)  I looked quickly to either side and saw dozens of dropped jaws just like mine.  ...The latest movie in that franchise blows the first one out of the water, but there had to be a first one.

Into the Spider-Verse is one of those films.  It’s blowing everything out of the water.  And I do honestly hope we can look back on it and have the luxury of being able to roll our eyes...but I fear it’s going to be more like Tron and Superman than Star Wars or Jurassic Park.  That it might take decades to get anything close to this again...unless we support movies like this.  Unless we support artists, unless we support writers, unless we support...with money...studio producers, executives, etc...well, they love money.  So they’re going to try more of the things that they think people will continue to buy.

It’s worked for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, after all.

...And yes, we were all feeling super bummed at the end of Infinity War.  But you know what?

We were all feeilng bummed at the end of Empire Strikes Back too, back in the mid 1980s.  We just didn’t have social media (outside of chatting & panels at conventions, and covertly distributed fan’zines, the pre-internet version of fanfic archives) to share and find healing in in our mutual defeated-in-the-middle-of-the-trilogy-syndrome/misery.

The Lord of the Rings had something of this, as did The Hobbit...but those stories we already knew weren’t always happy stories.  The books have been out so long that all the tropes are heavily embedded in our cultural mythos, even if only periphrally (since actually not all that many people have managed to wade through the books; Tolkienn’s writing isn’t exactly reader-friendly to the 21st century audience). 

But things like Star Wars and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which stated from the onset it wouldn’t be following any of the comic book plots exactly?  We’re venturing into the parts of the maps that say “here be dragons” and we aren’t talking Smaug.  He’s a known dragon.  We’re talking dragons we haven’t even met yet. (How to Train Your Dragon was another groundbreaking film in how it treated dragons, btw.)

So...long story short:  Artists, do what you gotta do.  Do what you want to do, too.  And practice. Like, LOTS.  Because they employed 177 animators at one point on the Spider-Verse film, as opposed to just 27 for Toy Story (another ground-breaker, fully animated full-length feature film in 3D computer graphics animation). 

One day, some of you are going to create something groundbreaking, either solo (think Matt Groening and The Simpsons, and yes, it was groundbreaking when it first aired, because it wasn’t The Flintstones...which was groundbreaking all on its own, but decades between them, like Superman versus Iron Man), or in a massive group, like what Into the Spider-Verse needed.

But don’t think those of you who don’t create something groundbreaking aren’t doing worthwhile work, either.  There were a lot of animation-inclusive films that were awesome, great, inspiring, intriguing, frustrating, aaaalmost made it, etc, in between the groundbreaking ones and the outstanding ones. Who Framed Roger Rabbit broke trail for Space Jam, which while not exactly highbrow cinema was still highly popular, for example.

The point is that usually people also enjoy the stuff that follows, even when it isn’t groundbreaking.  The groundbreaking stuff gets them to search for other, similar stuff...and similar stuff to that, and on and on.  And somewhere in there, they’ll find you.

And for that viewer, that reader, that audience?  You just might be groundbreaking on a personal level to them.

Take the creator of the webcomic Love & Capes.  Superhero fiction, yup.  Cartoonish “easily drawn” style, yep. Romance in the storyline, sure.  But this was a comic book storyline that followed the romance far more than the superhero stuff.  There are others out there I’m sure...but it was groundbreaking to me.  (The archives are complete, and the link to the first page can be found here: http://loveandcapes.com/comic/love-and-capes-strip-1/ ...I do recommend it, because it pokes fun at its own genre’s tropes, and yet it also flips several tropes all throughout the overall storyline.)

Artists, you are part of a long, wonderful, glorious tradition.  In fact, as far as we know, you’re literally older than writing; you were telling stories long before we had official written languages.  And you’re part of a tradition that includes animation masterpieces like Spider-Verse.

Take a few moments to take pride in that fact.  Even if you’re only on day 2 of learning how to draw...you’ve earned it.

[isearchgoood]

The SEO Elevator Pitch - Best of Whiteboard Friday

Posted by KameronJenkins

This week, we're revisiting an important topic for SEOs everywhere: how to show your value. In the wake of everything that's happened recently with COVID-19, being able to describe your worth to potential clients or stakeholders is an integral skill. In this favorite episode of Whiteboard Friday, Kameron Jenkins shares how to effectively and succinctly build an SEO elevator pitch that highlights the value you bring to a business and three warnings on what not to do.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high-resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hey guys, welcome to this week's edition of Whiteboard Friday. My name is Kameron Jenkins. Today we're going to be talking about creating an SEO elevator pitch, what is it, why we need one, and what kind of prompted this whole idea for an SEO elevator pitch.

So essentially, I was on Twitter and I saw John Mueller. He tweeted, "Hey, I meet with a lot of developers, and a lot of times they don't really know what SEOs do." He was genuinely asking. He was asking, "Hey, SEO community, how do you describe what you do?" I'm scrolling through, and I'm seeing a lot of different answers, and all of them I'm resonating with.

They're all things that I would probably say myself. But it's just interesting how many different answers there were to the question, "What do SEOs do and what value do they provide?" So I kind of thought to myself, "Why is that? Why do we have so many different explanations for what SEO is and what we do?" So I thought about it, and I thought that it might be a good idea for myself and maybe other SEOs if you don't already have an elevator pitch ready.

What is an SEO elevator pitch?

Now, if you're not familiar with the concept of an elevator pitch, it's basically — I have a definition here — a succinct and persuasive speech that communicates your unique value as an SEO. It's called an elevator pitch essentially because it should take about the length of time it takes to ride the elevator with someone. So you want to be able to quickly and concisely answer someone's question when they ask you, "Oh, SEO, what is that?I think I've heard of that before. What do you do?"

Why is this so hard?

So let's dive right in. So I mentioned, in the beginning, how there are so many different answers to this "what do you say you do here" type question. I think it's hard to kind of come up with a concise explanation for a few different reasons. So I wanted to dive into that a little bit first.

1. Lots of specialties within SEO

So number one, there are lots of specialties within SEO.

As the industry has advanced over the last two plus decades, it has become very diverse, and there are lots of different facets in SEO. I found myself on quite a rabbit trail. I was on LinkedIn and I was kind of browsing SEO job descriptions. I wanted to see basically: What is it that people are looking for in an SEO?

How do they describe it? What are the characteristics? So basically, I found a lot of different things, but I found a few themes that emerged. So there are your content-focused SEOs, and those are people that are your keyword research aficionados. There are the people that write search engine optimized content to drive traffic to your website. You have your link builders, people that focus almost exclusively on that.

You have your local SEOs, and you have your analysts. You have your tech SEOs, people that either work on a dev team or closely with a dev team. So I think that's okay though. There are lots of different facets within SEO, and I think that's awesome. That's, to me, a sign of maturity in our industry. So when there are a lot of different specialties within SEO, I think it's right and good for all of our elevator pitches to differ.

So if you have a specialty within SEO, it can be different. It should kind of cater toward the unique brand of SEO that you do, and that's okay.

2. Different audiences

Number two, there are different audiences. We're not always going to be talking to the same kind of person. So maybe you're talking to your boss or a client. To me, those are more revenue-focused conversations.

They want to know: What's the value of what you do? How does it affect my bottom line? How does it help me run my business and stay afloat and stay profitable? If you're talking to a developer, that's going to be a slightly different conversation. So I think it's okay if we kind of tweak our elevator pitch to make it a little bit more palatable for the people that we're talking to.

3. Algorithm maturity

Three, why this is hard is there's been, obviously, a lot of changes all the time in the algorithm, and as it matures, it's going to look like the SEO's job is completely different than last year just because the algorithm keeps maturing and it looks like our jobs are changing all the time. So I think that's a reality that we have to live with, but I still think it's important, even though things are changing all the time, to have a baseline kind of pitch that we give people when they ask us what it is we do.

So that's why it's hard. That's what your elevator pitch is.

My elevator pitch: SEO is marketing, with search engines

Then, by way of example, I thought I'd just give you my SEO elevator pitch. Maybe it will spark your creativity. Maybe it will give you some ideas. Maybe you already have one, and that's okay. But the point is not to use mine.

The point is essentially to kind of take you through what mine looks like, hopefully get your creative juices flowing, and you can create your own. So let's dive right into my pitch.

So my pitch is SEO is marketing, just with search engines. So we have the funnel here — awareness, consideration, and decision.

Awareness: Rank and attract clicks for informational queries.

First of all, I think it's important to note that SEO can help you rank and attract clicks for informational queries.

Consideration: Rank and attract clicks for evaluation queries.

So when your audience is searching for information, they want to solve their pain points, they're not ready to buy, they're just searching, we're meeting them there with content that brings them to the site, informs them, and now they're familiar with our brand. Those are great assisted conversions. Rank and attract clicks for evaluation queries. When your audience is starting to compare their options, you want to be there. You want to meet them there, and we can do that with SEO.

Decision: Rank, attract clicks, and promote conversion for bottom-funnel queries

At the decision phase, you can rank and attract clicks and kind of promote conversions for bottom of funnel queries. When people are in their "I want to buy" stage, SEO can meet them there. So I think it's important to realize that SEO isn't kind of like a cost center and not a profit center. It's not like a bottom of funnel thing. I've heard that in a lot of places, and I think it's just important to kind of draw attention to the fact that SEO is integrated throughout your marketing funnel. It's not relegated to one stage or another.

But how?

We talked about rank and attract clicks and promote conversions. But how do we do that? That's the what it does.

But how do we do it? So this is how I explain it. I think really, for me, there are two sides to the SEO's coin. We have driving, and we have supporting.

1. Driving

So on the driving side, I would say something like this. When someone searches a phrase or a keyword in Google, I make sure the business' website shows up in the non-ad results. That's important because a lot of people are like, "Oh, do you bid on keywords?"

We're like, "No, no, that's PPC." So I always just throw in "non-ad" because people understand that. So I do that through content that answers people's questions, links that help search engines find my content and show signs of authority and popularity of my content, and accessibility. So that's kind of your technical foundation.

You're making sure that your website is crawlable and it that it's index the way that you want it to be indexed. When people get there, it works. It works on mobile and on desktop. It's fast. So I think these are really the three big pillars of driving SEO — content, links, and making sure your website is technically sound. So that's how I describe the driving, the proactive side of SEO.

2. Supporting

Then two, we have supporting, and I think this is kind of an underrated or maybe it's often seen as kind of an interruption to our jobs.

But I think it's important to actually call it what it is. It's a big part of what we do. So I think we should embrace it as SEOs.

A. Be the Google Magic 8-ball

For one, we can serve as the Google Magic 8-Ball. When people come to us in our organization and they say, "Hey, I'm going to make this change, or I'm thinking about making this change.Is this going to be good or bad for SEO?"

I think it's great that people are asking that question. Always be available and always make yourself ready to answer those types of questions for people. So I think on the reactionary side we can be that kind of person that helps guide people and understand what is going to affect your organic search presence.

B. Assist marketing

Two, we can assist marketing. So on this side of the coin, we're driving.

We can drive our own marketing strategies. As SEOs, we can see how SEO can drive all phases of the funnel. But I think it's important to note that we're not the only people in our organization. Often SEOs maybe they don't even live in the marketing department. Maybe they do and they report to a marketing lead. There are other initiatives that your marketing lead could be investigating.

Maybe they say, "Hey, we've just done some market research, and here's this plan." It could be our job as SEOs to take that plan, take that strategy and translate it into something digital. I think that's a really important value that SEOs can add. We can actually assist marketing as well as drive our own efforts.

C. Fix mistakes

Then number three here, I know this is another one that kind of makes people cringe, but we are here to fix mistakes when they happen and train people so that they don't happen again. So maybe we come in on a Monday morning and we're ready to face the week, and we see that traffic has taken a nosedive or something. We go, "Oh, no," and we dive in.

We try to see what happened. But I think that's really important. It's our job or it's part of our job to kind of dive in, diagnose what happened, and not only that but support and be there to help fix it or guide the fixes, and then train and educate and make sure that people know what it is that happened and how it shouldn't happen again.

You're there to help train them and guide them. I think that's another really important way that we can support as SEOs. So that's essentially how I describe it.

3 tips for coming up with your own pitch

Before I go, I just wanted to mention some tips when you're coming up with your own SEO elevator pitch. I think it's really important to just kind of stay away from certain language when you're crafting your own "this is what I do" speech.

So the three tips I have are:

1. Stay away from jargon.

If you're giving an SEO elevator pitch, it's to people that don't know what SEO is. So try to avoid jargon. I know it's really easy as SEOs. I find myself doing it all the time. There are things that I don't think are jargon.

But then I take a couple steps back and I realize, oh yeah, that's not layman's terms. So stay away from jargon if at all possible. You're not going to benefit anyone by confusing them.

2. Avoid policing.

It can be easy as SEOs I've found and I've found myself in this trap a couple of times where we kind of act as these traffic cops that are waiting around the corner, and when people make a mistake, we're there to wag our finger at them.

So avoid any language that makes it sound like the SEOs are just the police waiting to kind of punish people for wrongdoing. We are there to help fix mistakes, but it's in a guiding and educating and supporting, kind of collaborative manner and not like a policing type of manner. Number three, I would say is kind of similar, but a little different.

3. Avoid Supermanning.

I call this Supermanning because it's the type of language that makes it sound like SEOs are here to swoop in and save the day when something goes wrong. We do. We're superheroes a lot of times. There are things that happen and thank goodness there was an SEO there to help diagnose and fix that.

But I would avoid any kind of pitch that makes it sound like your entire job is just to kind of save people. There are other people in your organization that are super smart and talented at what they do. They probably wouldn't like it if you made it sound like you were there to help them all the time. So I just think that's important to keep in mind. Don't make it seem like you're the police waiting to wag your finger at them or you're the superhero that needs to save everyone from their mistakes.

So yeah, that's my SEO elevator pitch. That's why I think it's important to have one. If you've kind of crafted your own SEO elevator pitch, I would love to hear it, and I'm sure it would be great for other SEOs to hear it as well. It's great to information share. So drop that in the comments if you feel comfortable doing that. If you don't have one, hopefully this helps. So yeah, that's it for this week's Whiteboard Friday, and come back again next week for another one.

Thanks, everybody.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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The SEO Elevator Pitch - Best of Whiteboard Friday

Posted by KameronJenkins

This week, we're revisiting an important topic for SEOs everywhere: how to show your value. In the wake of everything that's happened recently with COVID-19, being able to describe your worth to potential clients or stakeholders is an integral skill. In this favorite episode of Whiteboard Friday, Kameron Jenkins shares how to effectively and succinctly build an SEO elevator pitch that highlights the value you bring to a business and three warnings on what not to do.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high-resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Hey guys, welcome to this week's edition of Whiteboard Friday. My name is Kameron Jenkins. Today we're going to be talking about creating an SEO elevator pitch, what is it, why we need one, and what kind of prompted this whole idea for an SEO elevator pitch.

So essentially, I was on Twitter and I saw John Mueller. He tweeted, "Hey, I meet with a lot of developers, and a lot of times they don't really know what SEOs do." He was genuinely asking. He was asking, "Hey, SEO community, how do you describe what you do?" I'm scrolling through, and I'm seeing a lot of different answers, and all of them I'm resonating with.

They're all things that I would probably say myself. But it's just interesting how many different answers there were to the question, "What do SEOs do and what value do they provide?" So I kind of thought to myself, "Why is that? Why do we have so many different explanations for what SEO is and what we do?" So I thought about it, and I thought that it might be a good idea for myself and maybe other SEOs if you don't already have an elevator pitch ready.

What is an SEO elevator pitch?

Now, if you're not familiar with the concept of an elevator pitch, it's basically — I have a definition here — a succinct and persuasive speech that communicates your unique value as an SEO. It's called an elevator pitch essentially because it should take about the length of time it takes to ride the elevator with someone. So you want to be able to quickly and concisely answer someone's question when they ask you, "Oh, SEO, what is that?I think I've heard of that before. What do you do?"

Why is this so hard?

So let's dive right in. So I mentioned, in the beginning, how there are so many different answers to this "what do you say you do here" type question. I think it's hard to kind of come up with a concise explanation for a few different reasons. So I wanted to dive into that a little bit first.

1. Lots of specialties within SEO

So number one, there are lots of specialties within SEO.

As the industry has advanced over the last two plus decades, it has become very diverse, and there are lots of different facets in SEO. I found myself on quite a rabbit trail. I was on LinkedIn and I was kind of browsing SEO job descriptions. I wanted to see basically: What is it that people are looking for in an SEO?

How do they describe it? What are the characteristics? So basically, I found a lot of different things, but I found a few themes that emerged. So there are your content-focused SEOs, and those are people that are your keyword research aficionados. There are the people that write search engine optimized content to drive traffic to your website. You have your link builders, people that focus almost exclusively on that.

You have your local SEOs, and you have your analysts. You have your tech SEOs, people that either work on a dev team or closely with a dev team. So I think that's okay though. There are lots of different facets within SEO, and I think that's awesome. That's, to me, a sign of maturity in our industry. So when there are a lot of different specialties within SEO, I think it's right and good for all of our elevator pitches to differ.

So if you have a specialty within SEO, it can be different. It should kind of cater toward the unique brand of SEO that you do, and that's okay.

2. Different audiences

Number two, there are different audiences. We're not always going to be talking to the same kind of person. So maybe you're talking to your boss or a client. To me, those are more revenue-focused conversations.

They want to know: What's the value of what you do? How does it affect my bottom line? How does it help me run my business and stay afloat and stay profitable? If you're talking to a developer, that's going to be a slightly different conversation. So I think it's okay if we kind of tweak our elevator pitch to make it a little bit more palatable for the people that we're talking to.

3. Algorithm maturity

Three, why this is hard is there's been, obviously, a lot of changes all the time in the algorithm, and as it matures, it's going to look like the SEO's job is completely different than last year just because the algorithm keeps maturing and it looks like our jobs are changing all the time. So I think that's a reality that we have to live with, but I still think it's important, even though things are changing all the time, to have a baseline kind of pitch that we give people when they ask us what it is we do.

So that's why it's hard. That's what your elevator pitch is.

My elevator pitch: SEO is marketing, with search engines

Then, by way of example, I thought I'd just give you my SEO elevator pitch. Maybe it will spark your creativity. Maybe it will give you some ideas. Maybe you already have one, and that's okay. But the point is not to use mine.

The point is essentially to kind of take you through what mine looks like, hopefully get your creative juices flowing, and you can create your own. So let's dive right into my pitch.

So my pitch is SEO is marketing, just with search engines. So we have the funnel here — awareness, consideration, and decision.

Awareness: Rank and attract clicks for informational queries.

First of all, I think it's important to note that SEO can help you rank and attract clicks for informational queries.

Consideration: Rank and attract clicks for evaluation queries.

So when your audience is searching for information, they want to solve their pain points, they're not ready to buy, they're just searching, we're meeting them there with content that brings them to the site, informs them, and now they're familiar with our brand. Those are great assisted conversions. Rank and attract clicks for evaluation queries. When your audience is starting to compare their options, you want to be there. You want to meet them there, and we can do that with SEO.

Decision: Rank, attract clicks, and promote conversion for bottom-funnel queries

At the decision phase, you can rank and attract clicks and kind of promote conversions for bottom of funnel queries. When people are in their "I want to buy" stage, SEO can meet them there. So I think it's important to realize that SEO isn't kind of like a cost center and not a profit center. It's not like a bottom of funnel thing. I've heard that in a lot of places, and I think it's just important to kind of draw attention to the fact that SEO is integrated throughout your marketing funnel. It's not relegated to one stage or another.

But how?

We talked about rank and attract clicks and promote conversions. But how do we do that? That's the what it does.

But how do we do it? So this is how I explain it. I think really, for me, there are two sides to the SEO's coin. We have driving, and we have supporting.

1. Driving

So on the driving side, I would say something like this. When someone searches a phrase or a keyword in Google, I make sure the business' website shows up in the non-ad results. That's important because a lot of people are like, "Oh, do you bid on keywords?"

We're like, "No, no, that's PPC." So I always just throw in "non-ad" because people understand that. So I do that through content that answers people's questions, links that help search engines find my content and show signs of authority and popularity of my content, and accessibility. So that's kind of your technical foundation.

You're making sure that your website is crawlable and it that it's index the way that you want it to be indexed. When people get there, it works. It works on mobile and on desktop. It's fast. So I think these are really the three big pillars of driving SEO — content, links, and making sure your website is technically sound. So that's how I describe the driving, the proactive side of SEO.

2. Supporting

Then two, we have supporting, and I think this is kind of an underrated or maybe it's often seen as kind of an interruption to our jobs.

But I think it's important to actually call it what it is. It's a big part of what we do. So I think we should embrace it as SEOs.

A. Be the Google Magic 8-ball

For one, we can serve as the Google Magic 8-Ball. When people come to us in our organization and they say, "Hey, I'm going to make this change, or I'm thinking about making this change.Is this going to be good or bad for SEO?"

I think it's great that people are asking that question. Always be available and always make yourself ready to answer those types of questions for people. So I think on the reactionary side we can be that kind of person that helps guide people and understand what is going to affect your organic search presence.

B. Assist marketing

Two, we can assist marketing. So on this side of the coin, we're driving.

We can drive our own marketing strategies. As SEOs, we can see how SEO can drive all phases of the funnel. But I think it's important to note that we're not the only people in our organization. Often SEOs maybe they don't even live in the marketing department. Maybe they do and they report to a marketing lead. There are other initiatives that your marketing lead could be investigating.

Maybe they say, "Hey, we've just done some market research, and here's this plan." It could be our job as SEOs to take that plan, take that strategy and translate it into something digital. I think that's a really important value that SEOs can add. We can actually assist marketing as well as drive our own efforts.

C. Fix mistakes

Then number three here, I know this is another one that kind of makes people cringe, but we are here to fix mistakes when they happen and train people so that they don't happen again. So maybe we come in on a Monday morning and we're ready to face the week, and we see that traffic has taken a nosedive or something. We go, "Oh, no," and we dive in.

We try to see what happened. But I think that's really important. It's our job or it's part of our job to kind of dive in, diagnose what happened, and not only that but support and be there to help fix it or guide the fixes, and then train and educate and make sure that people know what it is that happened and how it shouldn't happen again.

You're there to help train them and guide them. I think that's another really important way that we can support as SEOs. So that's essentially how I describe it.

3 tips for coming up with your own pitch

Before I go, I just wanted to mention some tips when you're coming up with your own SEO elevator pitch. I think it's really important to just kind of stay away from certain language when you're crafting your own "this is what I do" speech.

So the three tips I have are:

1. Stay away from jargon.

If you're giving an SEO elevator pitch, it's to people that don't know what SEO is. So try to avoid jargon. I know it's really easy as SEOs. I find myself doing it all the time. There are things that I don't think are jargon.

But then I take a couple steps back and I realize, oh yeah, that's not layman's terms. So stay away from jargon if at all possible. You're not going to benefit anyone by confusing them.

2. Avoid policing.

It can be easy as SEOs I've found and I've found myself in this trap a couple of times where we kind of act as these traffic cops that are waiting around the corner, and when people make a mistake, we're there to wag our finger at them.

So avoid any language that makes it sound like the SEOs are just the police waiting to kind of punish people for wrongdoing. We are there to help fix mistakes, but it's in a guiding and educating and supporting, kind of collaborative manner and not like a policing type of manner. Number three, I would say is kind of similar, but a little different.

3. Avoid Supermanning.

I call this Supermanning because it's the type of language that makes it sound like SEOs are here to swoop in and save the day when something goes wrong. We do. We're superheroes a lot of times. There are things that happen and thank goodness there was an SEO there to help diagnose and fix that.

But I would avoid any kind of pitch that makes it sound like your entire job is just to kind of save people. There are other people in your organization that are super smart and talented at what they do. They probably wouldn't like it if you made it sound like you were there to help them all the time. So I just think that's important to keep in mind. Don't make it seem like you're the police waiting to wag your finger at them or you're the superhero that needs to save everyone from their mistakes.

So yeah, that's my SEO elevator pitch. That's why I think it's important to have one. If you've kind of crafted your own SEO elevator pitch, I would love to hear it, and I'm sure it would be great for other SEOs to hear it as well. It's great to information share. So drop that in the comments if you feel comfortable doing that. If you don't have one, hopefully this helps. So yeah, that's it for this week's Whiteboard Friday, and come back again next week for another one.

Thanks, everybody.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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