#i genuinely ship these two and i need to get hella people in this fandom on board with it PLEAASE

[beethefallen]

were they about to kiss-

[chaos-and-recover]

Sorry for all the info dumping but when I reread my asks and your answers I realized I did kinda make the story seem like this big crazy exciting tale but mostly it's just cringe. But I have a healthy group of friends now and a part time job at a daycare center, I'm dating a woman who has a few Real Person Ships in a normal healthy way. I didn't ever talk to my therapist about Larry bc I lost interest in it due to everything else going on, but I've talked about it with her and she's taught me how to healthily engage in fandoms whether fictional characters or real people. So everything worked out.

Here's the story and why I will eventually have to send out apologies but idk if I will be able to bc most of my friends and much if my family cut me put. My moral OCD mixed i think with my "justice brained autism" and ppl will think oh that's great but it's not. In high school ppl thought it was great I led GSA groups and parades, but whennthey git to know me personally it would end in screaming matches and sometimes even physical fights and I always left thinking they deserved it and I was the Good Guy and they were the Bad Guy so I did not need to introspect. I git kicked out of GSA and expelled from school but still felt like I was in the right. I would tell a very twisted up version of events that was basically a lie BUT I didn't realize I was lying because that's how I "felt." I got kicked out of GSA and expelled bc I sent the VP to the hospital bc she "thinks women deserves rape" bc she shipped Spike/Buffy. (I'm showing my age here.) I did not tell my parents my evidence, just that she loved watching men rape women and openly thought women deserves to be raped. Based on the fact she shipped a ship. I made a hella leap and thought that was fact. I genuinely believed that was all the evidence I needed. So ofc my parents believed me and supported me bc obviously if she denied it she was lying. Not like me. I'm a horrible liar. (I am. I can't lie to save my life. But I was very good at convincing myself what I thought and felt was true and therefore not a lie.) This repeated throughout my life. I moved away to go to college. Ans lo and behold not a lot of ppl want to make friends with ppl who genuinely believe someone is evil based off random criteria. If you listened to Michael Jackson, I would accuse you of support pedophilia. If you listened to The Beatles, I would accuse you if being a wife beater. If you watched South Park or Family Guy or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Bojack Horseman, guess what? You were literally evil and anything I did to you was deserved. Bc justice. I got kicked out of college and put in jail bc I threw a punch at a professor. My choice was a fine or community service. I chose community service.

Job as a waiter? Fired within 3 months bc while i made hella bank bc I could be very sweet "if you deserved it" all it took was a man who appeared older than his wife calling her Princess for me to dump his meal in his lap and call him a pig. Gas station attendant? Mother snapped at her child bc her kid was making massive scene. I refused service and tapped the sign saying I could bc she was a child abuser. She spoke to the manager. Dishwasher? I did lots of dishwasher jobs bc ans now I know it's lack of human contact that made those last longer than others. But someone would watch Game of Thrones or watch Sherlock (sexist) or Supernatural (homophobic) and I'd end up having a massive blowout screaming match. I'd do it enough that eventually that third write would come. During 2020 i got unemployment but when I had to get a job again it was hard bc I had so many terminations under my belt. It was a dishwasher job. Fired within a month. I used to be a big HP fan, ofc I burned all my books when we all figured JKR was a terf. One of the cooks had a DH tattoo and even though he said he hasn't bought any merch since, he didn't burn the books or remove the tattoo so I spent the next two weeks just verbally harassing him. He never said anything back. Pulled into HR. Fired for harassment of a transgender man. Had to be escorted out. Somehow got a job at a local coffee shop. Nonbinary and tran woman, both HP fans. Fired within a month for harassment of trans ppl. At this point I was evicted bc moratorium ended, had hacked up insane debt, and moved back home. We talked frequently but ofc I always told them MY truth. And when I moved back in they introduced me to a friend that had made and I, based off the fact they mentioned wanting to watch a Quentin Tarantino film they hadn't seen yet but liked his other stuff, demanded they leave my house. Made a scene. My parents sat me down and had this really hard conversation where they've been noticing a pattern in my life. I of course screamed and said they were evil people and fought my dad in the living room. They didn't press charges but gave an ultimatum. Therapy, or find my own place. Saved my life, tbh. I'm on medication and it isn't always easy but life is getting better. Moral OCD and "justice autism" sound so awesome on tumblr and ppl on tumblr especially trigger it and even encourage it. It's hard to explain about "having really intense morals and obsession with justice" is a bad thing esp when your online friends amp it up like damn u r a true hero!!1 and say they wish they had the guts. Well now I keep thinking about how many times security had to escort me from somewhere bc someone wore a Snape/Marilyn Manson/David Bowie/John Lennon shirt and i made a scene, or how many of those online friends eventually blocked me and warned everybody else about how dangerous I was, or how my mom had to write my cover letter and fill out my application for me to make it palatable to my current employer. I will be 40 soon and I feel like I'm in my early 20s bc I've lost my years to mental illness. I even hesitated to send this bc I feel like ppl will be like lol oh sure, silly little fandom drama, nobody cares, but i imagine Larry Shipper felt that way too bc "fandom drama is so dumb" like it's Not A Big Deal, and Nobody Cares That Much. And that's partly why I got as bad as I did bc ppl around me didn't think I was being serious. But in junior high I actually shoved someone down a small flight of stairs bc I found her ff.net profile and saw she wrote dramione fanfic. Nobody saw me do it and I thought it was the universe congratulating me. That or some ppl might post that good for her gif. Bc I got sent that gif a lot. They always think its great. Until I find smth about them. And there is ALWAYS smth.

Well this was a surprise to find in my inbox today, but anon I'm glad you sent it because I feel like the way you describe the consequences of moral OCD is really important. I've kind of wanted to grab a few followers/mutuals by the lapels and say "hey I think you might have moral OCD!!!!!" for a hot minute now because I have Seen Some Shit so I hope some of em might recognize themselves in this. I also have some mutuals I think who've been on the receiving end of this kind of thing.

Not that it will help because I'm not any kind of professional and don't have moral OCD myself, but if you (or anyone reading this who might recognize themselves in the story) take a moment to offer the benefit of the doubt, it can help. I know many people who have not fully and actively denounced JKR and HP and instead of believing they endorse her shitty, shitty views I just realize "oh. They're just not terminally online." Because lbr if you're not on Tumblr or Twitter you probably haven't seen all the bullshit she keeps saying and doing and might legitimately not know she's a full mask-off TERF.

Anyway idk how helpful that is. But also, I'll be 40 in a few months and also feel kind of "behind" without any major mental health setbacks. I almost feel like for our generation we straight up don't have the same trajectory our parents had. Most of my friends of a similar age aren't "where they should be" in terms of where our parents were at that age. I know like, three people in their 30s who actually own a home, and a lot more who struggle to find a job that a) they actually can tolerate, b) pays enough to live on and c) they can stay in long-term, whether because of their own health or just because employers are trash.

I'm not sure what my point is here except that I think you're doing fine and as long as you're taking care of yourself. You'll figure it out!

[honeyedhoseok]

8th MEMEBR OF BTS

• STAGE NAME: Kim Yvonne (김 이본)

• BIRTH NAME: Park Chanelle

• BIRTHDAY: December 31st, 1995

• HEIGHT: 5"9

• PROFESSION: K-pop Idol

• GROUP: BTS

• LABEL: Big Hit

• POSITION: Lead Vocalist, Visual,Sub-rapper, writer, producer.

• DEBUT DATE: June 13th, 2013

• FACE CLAIM: seunghwibaby on ig

• VOICE CLAIM: Madison Beer+Ariana Grande. Rap voice claim: Lisa (BP)

EXTRA INFO ABOUT KIM YVONNE

• NICKNAMES: vonnie, nellie, baby, Big Hit's princess

• TALENTS: can play drums, electric guitar and piano.

• HIDDEN TALENTS: can hold her breath for 4 minutes, is very felixible, excellent at volleyball and basketball.

• LOVE LIFE: is currently single, has 4 exes.

• SUBLINGS: 1 twin brother, Park Jongin.

• SEXUALITY: she's bisexual

• AESTHETIC: femme fatale

• HER PERSONALITY: she's the sweetest little thing ever. everyone's first impression of her was 'bubbly, adorable and sweet'. she's extremely selfless and is constantly putting others before herself in any situation even if she's at a disadvantage. very smart, a little introverted. can be really quite or really loud, no in-between. can seem cold on the outside but she's the warmest person on the inside. broken gen z humor. clingy baby, loves skinship.

• was diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive was she was 13, anxiety and depression when she was 19.

• is unsecure about her looks

• fake maknae

• has three awards on her solo project

• her voice is on the deep side but she can go really high

• MUSIC GENRE: loves pop, RnB and Trap.

• PETS: two chow chow dogs, Oliver and Sirius Black.

• TATTOOS: A sun and a Cresent on her hand, a cloud on her middle finger and ARMY'S shield on her ring finger, 'kookie'on her wrist, a heart in her palm, and a ⁷ behind her ear

• PIERCINGS: three on each ear, nose piercing.

• SOLO PROJECTS: 'Selenophilia' three singles and 10 songs in total.

'Venus Records' two singles and 9 songs in total

CELEBRITY CRUSHES:

• People Crushing On KYV:

• Jackson Wang (GOT7), Wooyoung and Seonghwa (ATEEZ), GRAY and Jay Park (AOMG), Jennie Kim (BLACKPINK), Chan and Han (STRAY KIDS), KAI (EXO).

• Crushes KYV has:

• Seonghwa (ATEEZ), Wonho, Jay Park, Hwasa (MAMAMOO), Jennie Kim (BLACKPINK), Madison Beer, Yeonjun (TXT).

A GUIDE TO THE SHIPS: withing BTS

VONJOON/RAPVON

• 45% family, 55% romance

• fourth biggest ship in K-pop.

• she's his baby, you can't convince me otherwise.

• she looks up to namjoon alot.

• king and queen of destruction

• writing duo

• calling eachother 'honey' platonically

• too many inside jokes

• can be annoying, because who ever is around them WILL third wheel.

• "BTS and the world third wheeling joon and vonnie for 25 minutes straight" videos

• back massages because carrying the music industry is painful

• they trust eachother so much

• will always spill to eachother about their worries.

• the respect is through the roof

• love for days

• vonjoon/ rapvon stans are either rock hard or soft af

• HUGS

• this man is a giant and the hight difference is just enough for him to scoop her up in his arms and squeeze the life out of her.

• they can carry smart conversations most of the time, but not all the time

• "joon, what's the difference between horses and donkeys?"

• "°_°"

• "deadass"

• wholesome relationship :)

SEOKVON/ VONJIN

• 70% family, 30% romance

• will babie her, he must babie her.

• he's so protective of his wittle vonnie

• is always checking up on her.

• he thinks she's the most precious angel in the world that need to be rocked to sleep and fed every couple of hours.

• gives everyone normal cups, but Yvonne get a sippy cup with sunflower prints on it.

• THEY LOUD AS HELL OH MY GOD

• one can spot their shenanigans from a mile away.

• a lot of "Jin and von being chaotic neutral" for an hour straight videos

• he taught her how to fish

• cooking buddies

• making cookies at 3 in the morning

• crackhead energy that fills up a tank

• will shamelessly stock up tampons and pads for her

• THE LOVE IS CONTAGIOUS

• INFECTIOUS LOVE

• sibling fights for no reason

• seokvon/vonjin stans are the softest ever

• wholesome babies

MINVON/ VONGI

• 65% family, 35% romance

• IS VERY VERY PROTECTIVE OF HER.

• has the biggest soft spot for her

• he's her little meow meow

• they go fishing together (w/ Jin)

• she has the passcode to his studio

• PRODUCER DUO

• the amount of unreleased tracks is insane.

• he pretends he doesn't like her hugs, but in reality he instantly melts in her arms.

• the only person he'll let cuddle him.

• deep convos

• stargazing

• sharing bandanas

• not a lot of skinship

• keeping eachother entertained during award shows

• WIGGLY YOONGI DANCE TOGETHER

• gummy smiles :')

• minvon/vongi stans are soft and well fed

• playing basketball together

• armys making "suga and yvonne being babies" compilation videos

• they're the type of duo who you be in a room doing literally whatever and someone you'd walk in, stare at them and slowing retreat thinking they just walked into some cult activities

• silently take care of eachother

• smallest acts of intimacy

• tiny babies

JUNGVONNIE/VONHOPE/HOVI

• 50% family, 50%romance

• team chaos

• THE ULTIMATE DANCE DUO OH MY GOD

• doing the weirdest things ever without questioning it

• compliments that turn into, "no u, no u, NO I SAID YOU"

• he's secretly her favourite

• yvonne and hobi are basically what its like to mix gummy bears, skittles, rainbow belts and honey. SWEETNESS AND HAPPINESS AND SUNSHINE ALL AROUND UWU

• THE VOLUME IS ASTRONOMICAL

• but like thank god one of them has an iq above 6

• the amount of "hobi and voni being rays of sunshine" for 30 minutes straight videos is insane

• Comfort Inn ™

• CUDDLES

• she will cling to him as if he's the last human alive.

• they're in their own universe almost all the time

• jungvonnie/vonhope/hovi stan are so soft if they see a video of hobi and voni laughing they will cry

• loveliest relationship

TAEVON/ 2V/ VONHYUNG

• 20% family, 80% romance

• third biggest ship in K-pop

• they get a little too hot on stage

• she's his favourite person

• she makes him feel so safe

• the walking memes

• GUCCI EVERYWHERE

• being weird together

• always teamed up in any situation

• DEEP VOICE DUO

• dog parents

• yeontan, Oliver and Sirius are literal siblings

• coffee 'dates'

• actual fashion icons

• king and queen of resting bitch faces

• skinship at its finest

• a new dating rumor every other day it's not even shocking at this point

• they are always taking naps somewhere, can be backstage, can during an award show, can be during practice, doesn't matter. naps.

• they're always there for eachother, mentally and physically.

• "tae and vonnie being adorable for 10 minutes straight" videos

• t r u s t

• are always playing with each others hair

• taevon/2V/vonhyung stans are either hardcore af or soft af

• sweetest relationship

( i can't add a jimin gif due to a limit in submitting)

JIVON/VONMIN/2PARK

• 2% family, 98% romance

• biggest ship in K-pop

• they're always together no matter what

• skinship to the literal max

• holding hands, cheek kisses, cuddling, hugs, sitting on each other's laps, all of it.

• matching hair colours.

• they're either being the tiniest babies together or everyone's OTP, no in between.

• 'power couple' at award shows, matching outfits, dance solos, harmonizing together, they got it.

• all over eachother on stage, as if no one is watching.

• Yvonne 'platonically' calls jimin baby, but he blushes everytime.

• him calling her noona

• they don't give the army the chance to breath, because they are never here to play

• they have the most iconic lines that genuinely sound like fake subs

• que the "jimin and yvonne being a married couple for 20 minutes straight" videos

• they are either really chill or hella energetic

• the jivon/vonmin/2park stans are probably the hardest stans in the fandom.

• sweethearts :')

( I can't add a jungkook gif)

VONKOOK/ JEONVONNIE

• 10% family, 90% romance.

• second biggest ship in K-pop

• golden maknaes

• vocal duo

• "_____ hyung won't scold us"

• they're banana milk addicts

• poutty bunnies

• she's literally kookie's role model

• he always has his head on her shoulder

• they have several matching tattoos (a heart on their palms, he has 'vonnie' on his wrist and she has 'kookie' her wrist, and a '⁷' behind their ears).

• they're always covering songs together

• crackhead energy is through the roof

• they are the chaotic good/evil

• hands all over eachother all the time

• on stage

• during practice

• on vlives

• awards shows, whatever

• fancams of their solo performances always tend to go viral

• whenever they're are in the same room, just know something is going to get spoiled. always.

• king and queen of highnotes

• "jungkook and yvonne being BTS' babies" videos

• they (+tae) are rapline's biggest fans

• the weird drunkies

• they are always eating something, can be ramen, can be an unpeeled banana, you never know.

the vonkook/jeonvonnie stans are the most confused turned on stans ever, but they are quite well fed.

( lmao I hope u liked this)

[vivithefolle]

About criticizing Hermione.

Personally I think Hermione should be criticized for everything that happened in the books, the facts speak of their own but there is a limit in how responsible a fictional character is for the actions the author made her do . It's not like she actually had her faith in her hands and she chose to be JKRs shelf-insert and make all her Shitty ideas her own.

Let's look at the bigger picture here, is Hermione realy being treated better than Ron from the phantom?

JKR trusted her characters to Kloves and he basically pimped Hermione. She is the most sexualized fictional character of the 21st century so far, he portraited her like an OP/sexi cosplay of the real Hermione. She became a top10 sex fantasy for every healthy and sick mind out there and JKR did nothing to stop It for like a decade.

Ron is being hated for being an 'unworthy' pair for her(actually they hate him just because he has Hermione) and she is being hated for choosing him and she must be punish for it. You said that if she was a boy everybody will call for his head on a plate and I apsolotly agree but she is a girl so they call for her vagina on a plate instead. This is how you punish an intelligent woman, you subdue her and then you sexualy demean her.

You know better than me what is happening in fanfiction. She's been paired with evreone from Harry to Hagrids dog and the giand squid. Hermione is a sex slave, a dominated toy, a sperm dumpster, a total slut, a cheating/cheated wife, she is been mercilessly raped and abused and portrayed like a young Bellatrix or umbridge.

She has earn as many nasty titles as Ron so I don't think her being a girl worked in her favor.

Unfortunately it seems there are a lot of people who think that Intelligence is a mark of higher character and superior maturity as you said but Hermione is not one of them. She is hanging around with Harry and Ron and his family not her 'intelectual equals' from Ravenqlaw book club and she is dating athletes not distinguished students. Intelligence isn't the most important thing for her and she never acted like different people are not worthy of her company or her attention. So let's not hold her accountable for those ridiculous ideas.

Anyway I don't know if I am ranting but I just believe Hermiones character has been damaged and shamed just as much as Rons has, just in bit of different way and she don't deserve extra hate because she is JKRs shelf-insert in the story.

That comment of yours 'Hermione is literally JKR' ruin my appetite for the day. I just imagine Ron doing things with her.... Buhh😫🤢

The major difference in fanfiction is that... many people legit think this is “better” for Hermione.

They write stories of her being abused by Big Bad OOC Ron and being rescued by heroic prince charmings like Harry, Draco, Snape, or whoever. And all the while, the shippers genuinely think this could be plausible.

They take this huge dump on Ron and everything he stands for as a character - your insecurities don’t define you; the people you love only ask for you to be there, not for you to always be a 5* badass; you don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself - then proceed to “reward” Hermione with the affections of someone they’ve deemed “worthy” of her.

Usually, a person with which Hermione finds herself in a more subservient position.

Harry Potter: Mr Save The World, super fucking rich, will forever outshine whoever marries him Draco Malfoy: aristocratic/nobility, super hella rich Lucius Malfoy (yes, Luciumione is very popular on AO3): same as above + MUCH older than Hermione Severus Snape: Potions prodigy who actually invented stuff while Hermione only ever stuck by the book, MUCH older than she is Viktor Krum: famous athlete, probably rich

And so on and so forth.

Many of the Hermione ships of the fandom have an inherent imbalance. When it comes to age gap ships like Snamione or Luciumione, people will justify themselves by saying “oh but Hermione is so mature for her age, she needs someone on her level!”

.......... I very much hope to never meet one of these people in real life.

Not only is Hermione nowhere as mature as what they believe she is but MATURITY DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR A GAP OF NEARLY TWO DECADES OF EXPERIENCE. (And can you imagine saying  “Hermione needs a mature man!” then pairing her with Snape, the teenager stuck in a grown man’s body? Talk about cognitive dissonance.)

Anyway, those ships usually take Hermione to pair her with, let’s say it in the worst possible way, a man of “more value” than her.

The Hero. An aristocrat. An older man and a teacher. A celebrity...

They’re not trying to look to match Hermione with an equal.

They’re trying to pair her with someone she can be subservient to.

Because as @lytefoot​ brilliantly put it:

A woman has to be all-around pretty good at everything, whereas a man has to be the absolute best in his area of greatest competence (surely better than any puny female!) with a help-meet there to compensate for his weaknesses. People are very, very uncomfortable when Ron and Hermione reverse this dynamic. Hermione is extremely intelligent and dedicated to intellectual pursuits, but is complete pants at things like self-care and people skills. Ron is bright enough to keep up with her and strong in her areas of weakness.

Even if Ron was as dumb as a sack of rocks (he’s not), his other virtues are more than enough to “justify” Hermione loving him. (Because she needs an excuse?) But no. A woman has to be with a man who outdoes her in her area of greatest strength.

But they’re completely convinced that they’re making a “better” match for Hermione because in their heads, they’ve convinced themselves that Ron’s “inferiority” (= his underrated qualities like his good heart, his humour, his patience (many of which are also coded as primarily feminine qualities); his poverty; his language; his tendency to stand up for himself even against his friends; his insecurity) is a sure sign he would be bad to Hermione. Because there are two types of people: those who are inferior and those who aren’t! /s

They sincerely believe they’re elevating Hermione when they’re using her as Harry/Draco/Snape/Aragog’s token to redemption/happiness. Because they genuinely think Hermione should be “rewarded” with a man that outclasses her in the aspects of her life she prides herself on (her studies, her academics, her social justice ambitions). At the same time, they build up this whole narrative about how Ron would “want her to be another Molly, barefoot and pregnant all the time” to convince themselves that they really are Good Little Feminists.

All in all: when people write Hermione as Snape’s sex kitten, they do it because they believe that’s the best thing that can happen to her. But when they write Ron to bash him, it’s because they genuinely hate him. They want the worst to happen to him. They delight in his misery. They love it. Because they’re so blinded by their own lies and so convinced that “hurmion 2 gud 4 ron durrhurrhurr” that they think he deserves the most painful, humiliating things to happen to him.

That’s the difference. People pair Hermione with the most horrible people out of blind adoration for her. Those same people bash Ron as retribution for “defiling” their goddess.

The kind of “Hermione bashing” you refer to is done out of good sentiments. But Ron? He doesn’t get that sort of bashing; he’s reviled and hated for things he didn’t even do, because people can’t fucking comprehend that just because he acted badly at times doesn’t mean those actions define him. The bashing comes out of hatred and an unfounded, unfair desire for “justice” that is unwarranted in the first place.

That’s why I turn the tables and judge Hermione with the fandom’s absolutely impossible standards they only seem to apply to Ron and a select few others (Dumbledore, some of the Weasleys). To prove that no fucking human being could even hope to dream to meet those standards.

[greenlightbulb-s]

Fic writer interview!!!!!!

~editing some bits by adding info!~

Since @irishseeeker tagged me (cheers for that! 💖), and it's the first time I've been mentioned to participate in this kind of questionnaire, here are my answers! 🤗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 12 (I thought there were less of them lol)!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

95,374

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

They're two: Bridgerton and Anne with an E/Anne of Green Gables.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Right Path (Bridgerton)

Still... (Anne with an E)

A spoon full of... what on earth is this?! (Anne with an E)

Blue-eyed Girl (Anne with an E)

And, what do I get in return? (Bridgerton)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Sure thing I do! However, it's true that I rarely reply instantly, as I never access Ao3 on my phone with my account (from where I always read all the fics) because I always forget the password and I almost never access Ao3 from my computer unless it's to post a story.

But yes, I always reply to comments. Just like authors (lol me an author!) like to spend our time writing, readers who spend their time reading what we write are more than deserving of our response to what they tell us.

Needless to say how my heart grows a little bit bigger with every comment and kudo from readers. Seriously, without the readers we would be nothing! They are simply the best. 💖

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I hate (seriously, I HATE) angst and that's why I never write angsty endings. Real life is already angsty enough to end a fic like that (that's my opinion, you may disagree, of course!)... However, I do write angsty scenes because I want to reflect that life is not always rosy.

Anyways, I'm currently writing a fic in which angst is assured in most of the plot! 👀

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t, and I don't think I'll do it! But never say never!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Luckily, I haven't received anything! And, taking advantage of this questionnaire, please, PLEASE! If you don't like a fic for whatever reason, don't send hate or unkind messages to the authors because the fic wasn't what you expected. Just stop reading, close the browser tab where you are reading the story and forget about it! And if you're feeling like dm-ing the author anyway, constructive and polite criticism is the only acceptable thing to do.

Simple, easy and for the whole family! ✌

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do!!!!! And it's hella funny! I'd say it's quite vanilla-like; I don't really feel comfortable writing about other sexual practices because my only "reference" is p*rn and THAT'S NOT REAL SEX!

Besides, it's heterosexual smut, as an a straight person it's the only sexual orientation which I can write in a way it's 100% genuine. Of course, I love seeing same-sex couples in fics/shows/films and them "talking" (in fics they can't literally talk 😂) about their activities, but I feel that, if I write about it, it wouldn't be right or I'd do justice to these people/characters.

And one last thing: when I write or plan writing smut, I write it in a way that's real; foreplay, laugh, talk about odd things whilst doing it, stopping when they're not into it... I hate when smut in fics is too cliché or is highly based on p*rn.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, no! And I hope I don't! I need to disable downloads/sharing tabs...

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, I don't think so! In fact, it's me sometimes who translates some big parts of my fics from my mother tongue into English!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven't! But that's about to change... 👀

13. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That's the big, big, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig question! 🤣 I have shipped many couples over the years and, if you ask me, I still love them even though I don't follow them anymore! For instance, Finchel from Glee, Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games, Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter, Gilbert and Anne from Anne of the Green Gables...

Right now, I'm a Kate Sharma (or Kate Sheffield if we talk about the books) & Anthony Bridgerton b*tch. Just a quick peep at my profile can assure you of that! And lately I'm obsessed too with Jily (Harry Potter's parents, for those who don't know lol).

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Sharma's Indian Cuisine. From tradition to your mouth series. I'm stuck on a crucial part in Part 2 and I'm unable to dedicate time to writing lately with all that is coming up in my life. I'll finish it, surely, but not as soon as I wanted.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I seriously have noooooooooooooo idea! I'd say it's the plots. I know they're nothing new under the sun, but they are the kind of stories, but I know they're the kind of stories that don't resemble what we're "tired/bored" of reading (it's not exactly tired or bored the right words, but we all know that plots, as much as we like them, can sometimes make us feel that way!). I don't know how to express this right; please, don't misunderstand it!!!!!

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Same as above. I have no idea, because I'd say all involved in writing! Perhaps, to put into words everything I want to express with my story: the scenery, settings, moods, sometimes the dialogues, concentration/creativeness for developing the plot further... And English. Although I'm fluent in English, I don't always express myself well in the language, and that's reflected in the story.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Planning on doing it in Part 3 of my series! I'm not *fully* fluent in the language I'm planning to write, but I'll be open to corrections if I messed it up heavily once I publish it!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Anne with an E. I love Anne and Gilbert dearly, and I want to write again about them... But concentration and creativeness are b*tches and I'm laking of ideas. 🤣

I know it's not related to the question, but I'd also like to write about James Potter and Lily Evans/Potter some time!

19. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I'd say And... What do I get in return?, Of Rain and Storms series and Bitter Sweet Symphony. I know the question asked for only one, but these three have a special place in my heart.

Feel free to do it yourself! Not tagging anyone! 😅🤗

[adorpheus]

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site. 

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic. 

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom. 

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom. 

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~. 

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die? 

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday. 

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life. 

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here? 

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

 god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!! 

[takaraphoenix]

04 fandom ask how about a show I haven't heard you talk about in a hot minute. Phineas and Ferb?

I kind of enjoyed you discovering the weird and wonderful cartoon most of the people under 25 grew up with. I think that's a good age range cuz I'm under that and I definitely grew up with it as a good part of my childhood but I'm also still well into cartoons in going in my twenties lol... my birthday was last month and I had quite the number of Elena of avalor presents. You can do that fandom if you want to but not necessary

Well, happy belated birthday first! And then thanks for playing! And also, yeeeah I haven’t been watching Phineas and Ferb in a bit, the 10 minute format asks a lot of concentration of me that I simply don’t have lately so it’s on the backburner. I got the tab open and I definitely wanna finish it because I like the show, but I just don’t have the space for it right now.

Phineas and Ferb:

the character i least understand: Baljeet? I mean, he is... best friends with his bully... that is such a weird dynamic, I genuinely do not understand it at all?

interactions i enjoyed the most: Heinz and Perry, for sure, they’re so weird

the character who scares me the most: Heinz, Phineas and Ferb like those three have the actual capability to destroy the world if they so deem but all three use this power for incredibly specific stupid silly things, like imagine what they could do if they actually tried to be evil? Terrifying

the character who is mostly like me: I really don’t think any of them tbh

hottest looks character: Vanessa probably?

one thing i dislike about my fave character: sometimes, Isabella is very passive-aggressive with Phineas when he once again completely fails at realizing something is/could be romantic, I feel like clearer communication would be the better approach and like that boy needs these things spelled out for him so just spell it out for him

one thing i like about my hated character: I... don’t hate any of the characters? Aside from maybe Heinz’s parents I guess? And like... the thing I like about them is that they... made... Heinz, I guess? xD

a quote or scene that haunts me: The fact that in Isabella’s head, Phineas is a centaur for some reason

a death that left me indifferent: no one has died (yet)

a character i wish died but didn’t: none, nope, this show doesn’t have such characters

my ship that never sailed: I dunno, I do think Vanessa/Candace would be hella cute and a great way to tie the two plots more together also queers in a Disney show that early, could you imagine

Elena of Avalor:

the character i least understand: Naomi when she went “well, your cousin who you love like a brother just betrayed you and is on the run and so are dangerous sorcerers but like I’ll just fuck off to travel the world now because that’s what I need”, like I understand that being a captain is what she always wanted but that timing was incredibly insensitive considering their friendship and her own commitment into being a council member? Like, the open sea doesn’t run away, it would still be there after they caught Esteban, but to leave Elena and Avalor like that, during times where she - as one of only two (2) people in the entire country who actually can read the freaking ancient language - would have been needed? That made no sense for her character

interactions i enjoyed the most: Elena and Naomi, Elena and Isabel

the character who scares me the most: None, I think?

the character who is mostly like me: Maybe Mateo, a little?

hottest looks character: Ash Delgado

one thing i dislike about my fave character: For a princess, Elena is really bad at deligating and like... even into the final season, she proves to be bad at that and at that point, she should have spent years learning to deligate, you can not run around and solve every problem yourself once you’re queen and you do have a big network of people you can trust

one thing i like about my hated character: error, redeeming qualities on Shuriki not found

a quote or scene that haunts me: okay so on a more complex level, the fact that Elena can see and talk to their parents and just didn’t fucking tell Isabel for forever, I get it is only one day a year that she can talk to them, but... she really just... forgot to tell other people that she could see ghosts, more specifically her dead parents, when there is Isabel and their grandparents and they all deserved a chance to talk to them too, even if just indirectly. So, it haunts me that the second Dias de los Muertos episode wasn’t just their family, together, and just... talking

a death that left me indifferent: Did anyone die, aside from the pre-dead parents? I don’t think so

a character i wish died but didn’t: Nope, not really

my ship that never sailed: Elena/Naomi. Y’all can say what you want but if that finale wasn’t queerbaity af, when Elena approached Naomi when she was supposed to pick a partner to dance with, while the boys puffed their chests out hoping they would be chosen and for a split-second even Naomi thought Elena wanted to dance with her? I really thought they pulled a “queer in the last second” there and I think they should. I am already eternally grateful that the show didn’t force the four main characters into two heteronormative couples, but can you imagine the raw power of Elena of Avalor, first queer Disney princess?

Send me a fandom and i’ll tell you

[owletarc]

Owley! Do you consider the whole Clover and Qrow thing queerbaiting?

i think it’s a complicated situation, because there are a lot of parts that contributed to this shit storm but lemme try & dissect this bad boy.

shippers.

we know ‘em, we are ‘em. mlm are given a raw fuckin’ deal in this fndm & a lot where they only really matter if it’s to get a dude away from a m / f relationship so the girl in it can usually be in a wlw relationship. rwby in particular is a majority female show & heavy with the wlw relationships in the fandom space, not so much in the show but it’s there more than it is for mlm.

shippers. are. rabid. they’re like cujo an hour into the movie with foam from the mouth & just nasty lmao. there are good ones but yeah. so people saw a potential ship in clover & qrow and ran with it but there was a hella sense of entitlement. like there is for a lot of ships in the show, and in fandom in general! viewers are hella entitled nowadays. however …

show / media engagement.

i will say straight up, rt is one of the most unprofessional companies i’ve ever seen in regards to social media & fan engagement. i have Never seen voice actors / actors in any regard or showrunners or official twitters act in such an unprofessional manner to the fans. they’re too close, they blur the lines because they want to be a family company and want to have that engagement with the audience. they want to be our friend. but in this day & age with fan entitlement at it’s highest ; that just can’t happen. it does more harm than good.

shippers feel entitled, toxic fans get emboldened, lines that were once drawn are now smudged & blurred.

rt’s official twitter is a fucking shit show. no one knows how to tell the va’s, especially the likes of arryn or barbara, how to shut the fuck up about things. episodes get overhyped and most pertinent to this ask ; validations are given that aren’t true.

just outside of this situation we’ve had people say nora is trans canon because a tweet was liked. toxic shippers are emboldened by tweets from their vas concerning the ships. neath promised a great v6 finale only to be hung out to dry when it was chopped up & fans felt gypped at the poor finale we did get. we have show runners endorsing abuse comics. people were mad that a dance didn’t happen because they thought they were promised it via a fucking emoji.

and now fairgame. the rt twitter teased it like they tease bumbleby and that for me is gross. that for me, is dangling hope of a prospective ship that the show seems to endorse, only to rip it away at the drop of a hat (or stab of a harbinger … )

seeing things that aren’t there, yet.

i have no strong thoughts either way with fairgame. i think it could’ve been cute, however if it didn’t happen, i wouldn’t of cared. i do think the way that shippers jumped right into shipping them from the moment they met ; even though the moment was an upsetting one for qrow as he was confronted with someone who was everything he isn’t, is very telling.

it’s no surprise that ships are a big part of fandom space. love is something that most people seek out, romance has been a theme of stories since storytelling existed. however i think it’s gone too far these days that for a lot of people ; it’s the only thing that matters. and it shouldn’t be that way. romance should support the story, not the other way round.

if there had been time, perhaps qrow & clover could’ve grown into something more. but as it was in canon, they were friends with paralleled flirting on clover’s part alone. nothing from qrow said it was reciprocal. there was nothing for an in canon basis of them being a legitimate romantic couple ; and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if it existed in a vacuum on it’s own.

but it didn’t.

these moments, combined with shipper entitlement & social media engagement lead to a firestorm that could only blow up in the end. and it did. people were hurt emotionally & i will say here. it is okay for this to upset or disappoint you. however, if it’s getting to the point it has genuinely distressed or emotionally harmed you ; that’s not healthy. that’s not a good engagement with the show and at that point i would say switch off and walk away. you have gotten too emotionally invested to a point of it being damaging and that is unhealthy because it has now blurred the lines of fiction and reality.

in my own opinion, i think fairgame wasn’t going to happen. i think that it was slated as a friendship that qrow desperately needed, not a relationship but that also feeds into the disturbing mindset of a lot of shippers where they confuse growth in a relationship with one partner fixing another, like another major ship in this fndm. they are not the same.

so, what now?

fairgame had a tragic end and eddy has commented that he will discuss the issues taken with the ending for them & treatment of mlm in the show into consideration. however the official twitter is still stoking the flames and i’m afraid that will only hinder rather than help in the end.

however there is also an issue with us, the audience. the entitlement of shippers has got to fucking stop because at the end of the day, you are blurring your own lines of what you want and what could happen and think the two are the same. this is not your story to tell, it’s only yours to consume. if you don’t get what you want, don’t throw your toys out of the pram in a titty fit. don’t threaten the showrunners, don’t act like a child jesus christ. a majority of this fandom is adults and yet the behaviour that’s been seen is one someone would expect from toddlers.

have realistic expectations. it’s okay to ship things off the bat, i do that to. but don’t expect things to become canon just because you want them to. don’t use your ship being canon as a battering ram to put down other ships because guess what, canon = / = good. don’t cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

for crwby i would say use this as a moment to realize that you need to start implementing some professional courtesy into your interactions with the fandom. there has to be social media managers for your twitter, for your va’s. stop allowing them to rile up the fndm because they don’t have to deal with it ; other parts of the fndm do. use this moment to realize where you need to improve & have that honest, open communication with the lgbt, especially mlm, members of your community. this hurt them. part of it was their fault but part of it was yours too. everyone lost here.

[know-the-way]

Sorry to bother, through your posts I learned that SRB had an IG takeover yesterday but I missed it Ç_Ç Can you pls tell me if she said something relevant or hopeful about Zelda/Faustus/Spellwood? When I say hopeful I don't necessarily mean them ending up together. I'm not delusional, Faustus went too far in his madness and authors clearly submitted to fan wishes of having Z in a lesbian ship (a total asspull). I meant them having a plot wise proper closure as in they share history together.

I’m sure you’ve already hunted down the info shared in the takeover by now, but imo – there were positive and negative things shared about Zelda/Faustus. The ‘negative’ would be that when asked if there was a chance Spellwood could end up together, SRB said, “No spoilers, but y’know - after you put someone under a Caligari spell and kill them in a separate timeline, you are in the dog house, mister!” Which I think is incredibly fair, but it hints that we are probably not headed towards a happy ending for the two of them.

However, there was… a rather decent amount of talk regarding their past/potential feelings they had for one another. SRB was asked if Zelda ever loved Faustus and her response was ~*interesting*~, to say the least – 1. Because she implied that if Zelda ever did love him, she probably did not realize it since she would have felt “forbidden” to love someone and 2. She brought up the idea of Faustus loving Zelda without any prompting and said, “to be honest, I think he did.” Which is like… the closest we’ve ever come to “confirmation” that either of them ever had any kind of genuine affection for the other.

Ultimately, if I had to guess – I would say we probably are going to get some more insight into their past and I am hopeful that includes closure for them, but I think – no matter what – it is going to be hella tragic and hella painful. So I would just… be prepared for that. lol

In regards to Zelda’s “lesbian” relationship – I genuinely did not read the relationship as fan service. I personally feel that if they were giving in to fan service, Madam Spellman would have been canon 10 episodes ago. Everyone’s welcome to their own opinion, of course, but I think Marie serves a very important purpose and is going to help facilitate a lot of growth for the characters. The witches in Greendale are just breaking free of centuries upon centuries worth of oppression and darkness, with what I interpreted to be a path towards night AND light now. Hecate is “The Dark Mother,” but she also allows her followers to love and be loved. Which is entirely new territory for Zelda’s coven. Marie is a wonderful bridge for them in this uncertain time as she is a steward for the path of light. In addition, she seems to have some sort of mystical connection to whatever is coming in the next season, so that may prove to be very useful for them when they start to combat the Eldritch Terrors.

AND, in learning how to process and accept emotions better through Marie, this may help uncover some feelings of the past that were buried a long time ago in order to properly process them now. *looks in camera like I’m on The Office* If you catch my drift.

Also, just gonna say – and this not directed entirely at you or any other one person - as a bisexual woman, I am bothered by the repeated implication that being in a relationship with a woman automatically makes Zelda a lesbian. As much as it would bother me if someone said her being married to Faustus inherently made her heterosexual. We don’t know what Zelda’s sexual identity is for certain, but it is incredibly discouraging to see the conversations about her sexual identity limited to such polarizations (gay or straight), when bi/pansexual is a perfectly valid identity itself (so is choosing not to identify at all). You can simultaneously be attracted to both women and men – can personally attest to that fact – so this could certainly be the case for Zelda, as well. Sorry to go off on a tangent, it’s just that I’ve seen too many people try to label Zelda one way or the other based on her behavior and not who she/the writers declare herself to be, and that’s disappointing as someone who often feels the need to defend or “prove” my identity pretty regularly because I don’t look or act a certain way.

I don’t think it’s anyone’s direct intention to be dismissive of bi/pansexuality in these conversations, but I just needed to express that the way these conversations often play out (across the entire spectrum of the fandom, tbh)... can be indirectly hurtful. :/

[too-many-kpop-hubands]

30 Day Fandom Challenge

Here we go again for my fandom challenge. You still with me? @domsberto I'd also like to nominate @jimonsprettyface

This next fandom is one that I have been a part of from the very beginning and it holds a special place in my heart. Hold on tight and for those who haven't seen it, spoilers ahead.

Day 2- Teen Wolf

(TV Show not Movie)

1) Favorite Character: Stiles Stilinski

Reason: I have a thing for adorable dorks apparently. 😂

Ok so I adore Stiles the most because he is the backbone and heartbeat of the group. Sure he's a spazz and a nerd but he also always finds a way to get the group out of sticky situations because of his intelligent and knack for looking at things from every angle (he truly is his father's son....it helps his Father is the Sheriff alot of the time). He is loyal to a fault and though he has a hard time trusting most newcomers, once you are in he will literally follow you to the ends of the earth. He is a hopeless romantic, as shown with how he is with Lydia and even Malia. He loves deeply and thought he tends to be a fuck up at times he always finds a way to make things right. He keeps the others in line and helps everyone that needs his help. As the only human of the group he takes his job very seriously and is damn good at keeping the group together even when he personally feels like falling apart. I adore him to no end.

2) Most Relatable Character: Liam Dunbar

Reason: Liam is an adorable, scared and confused little rage monster. Unlike the others on the show who had a few seasons to get used to the world of the supernatural, Liam was still new to the world and was often left scratching his head wondering what the hell was going on. I can relate to that because even in real life I don't know what the hell is going on most of the time. He is also the most relatable because unlike the others on the show, he actually acts his age for the most part and wasn't forced to grow up as fast as the others. Honestly, for a young Beta wolf he can be the most human of them all at times. He likes to have fun, he likes to hang out with his girlfriend and play lacrosse. He marches to the beat of his own drum, which I do most of the time. Another thing I can relate to is having a short temper. While my temper is not nearly as bad as Liam's (who as Intermittent Explosive Disorder) I still get how hard it is to calm down once that temper is triggered.

3) Most Underrated Character: Isaac Lahey

Reason: Besides Derek, Isaac probably had the most growth of all the characters on the show before his exit from the show. He had to shoulder alot of pain and loss in his life starting with his mom leaving and his brother dying, then suffering from years of abuse at the hands of his father. After being turned by Derek, he felt empowered to help not only himself but others as well and did all that he could to help people in need. He even found it in him to forgive his father for abusing him for so long, which takes strength all on it's own. He went from being a scared and abused little boy to being a badass who did everything he could to help people he cared about and those who were unable to defend themselves. I see you Isaac, I see you and I appreciate you.

4) Most Overrated Character: Derek Hale

Reason: Ok before I start this, let me just says that I love Derek Hale ok? He is all kinds of sexy and has some good qualities but of all the people on the show he is also the most overrated. Ok hear me out here before you come at me. Throughout the series Derek is hyped up as this big bad Alpha dude. Yes, he turned a bunch of teens into wolves and helped them, and Scott, learn the ropes but when it came down to a fight most of the time he either made things worse or just didn't show up when he was needed the most (example when they were fighting the Nogitsune, Dread Doctors, Ghost Riders, Alphas). Most of the time it was Scott and his pack that ended up saving the day. Sure Derek helped gather intel but as far as fighting goes, he didn't really do much for such a "Big Bad Alpha" who threatened to rip people's throats out with his teeth. Hell he didn't even kill the bitch that murdered his ENTIRE family, nor did he kill the Darach...instead he slept with her. Wow Derek, just wow. He ran most of the time, went MIA alot of the time only to make a dramatic entrance and knock a few people around when Scott already had things under control. I love Derek but.....some big bad Alpha he was.

5) Least Favorite Character(s): Tied Kate, Gerard, and Victoria Argent

Reason: First of all, Kate....She got away with murdering an entire family (minus Derek, Laura, Peter and Cora) and then manages to cheat death by turning into a freaky ass werejaguar when Peter ripped her throat out. How?!?!?! No matter how much chaos she starts she still ends up getting away. How is she not dead yet? Jesus! She was a manipulative person and honestly one of the most toxic on the show besides her shady ass who I will talk about next.

Gerard was a piece of work. He brainwashed Allison into trying to kill her friends, he praised Kate for killing the entire Hale family, he tortured and killed innocent supernaturals simply for existing and used Jackson in his kanima form to carry out his shady agenda. He was also a hypocrite. He hates supernaturals yet relied on Scott to help take away his pain when he was sick and dying only to turn around and train a new generation of Anti-Supernatural hunters to do his bidding. He was a piece of shit.

Victoria Argent was the Matriarch of the Argent family and even when her daughter (Allison) and husband (Chris) wanted to actually help the innocent supernaturals she did everything in her power to make sure they felt like shit for wanting to help. She freaking tortured and tried to kill Scott for no other reason than he was a werewolf that was screwing her daughter and then made herself out to be a victim when Derek came to save Scott and he bit her a few times after she attacked him. She refused to turn and killed herself instead of facing the consequences her actions lead to (her turning into the very thing she hated, a werewolf).

6) Favorite Canon Pairing: Stydia (Stiles Stilinski and Lydia Martin)

Reason: From the beginning when you first see Stiles and Lydia interact on screen you start to root for the spastic nerd to win the heart of the most popular girl in school. Stiles always saw the real Lydia that she hid behind her popular facade. He saw how smart she was, how much she actually cared for people despite pretending like she didn't. He had been in love with her since the 3rd grade and even when they dated other people, that love never died. The closer they got as friends the more you wanted them to just end up together. Several seasons later and we finally hear them confess their love for each other and finally FINALLY get together. Praise be to all things Holy! Stiles and Lydia manage to balance each other out and anchor each other. When Stiles has panic attacks, Lydia is there to help calm him down. When Lydia gets overwhelmed by her Banshee powers, Stiles is there to help ground her. Stiles saved Lydia more times than I can count but she saved him too on more than one occasion. Stiles and Lydia have a love that is beautiful and pure. I see them lasting forever and they should even now that the show has been over for a while now. They are beautiful and they are my OTP. I could go on forever but I will just leave it here.

7) Favorite Non-Canon Ship: Scisaac (Scott McCall and Isaac Lahey)

[Close Call Honorable Mention: Sterek (Stiles Stilinski & Derek Hale)]

Reason: Ok first of all this was a close race between my boys Scisaac and my boys Sterek but when I look back at both pairings, I love the purity of Scott and Isaac versus the almost toxic pairing that is Sterek. (I adore Sterek but come on! Looking back now they were hella toxic!) Now for Scott and Isaac they had their moments. They lived together and Scott always managed to find a way to help bring Isaac back to reality when he had moments where he would lapse into PTSD style symptoms and nightmares. They always had each other's backs and they always gave each other looks that went beyond that of just friendship. Hell Isaac even agreed with hearts in his eyes that Scott was the "hot girl". I believe that if these two had of both cut Allison lose and crossed the boundary of friendship into a romantic relationship they would have been just as strong as Stydia. A pure and passionate kind of love born out of genuine care for one another.

8) Least Favorite Pairing: Stalia (Stiles Stilinski and Malia Tate)

Reason: First of all their first hook up was in a freaking insane asylum so that right there is not a good start for any lasting relationship. Throughout their relationship, Malia took Stiles for granted and then had the nerve to get jealous when he paid more attention to Lydia (who he had been in love with forever at that point). Malia had the mindset of a child and was immature most of the time. Don't get me wrong, Stiles could be immature at time too but she brought out the worst in him. I don't dislike Malia. I actually like her as a character but not as Stiles's girlfriend. Plus this biggest reason I dislike this ship? It took longer for Stydia to finally happen. Let's not forget how she practically walked all over him.

9) Favorite Part/Moment: Lydia tells Stiles she loves him too.

Reason: Stiles had been taken by the Ghost Riders and everyone forgot who he was but before he was taken he told Lydia "Remember I love you." But she never got the chance to say it back before he and her memories of him were ripped away. When he finally came back there was a touching scene where Lydia said "I never got to say it back." And the two of them shared their first real kiss (not counting the kiss she gave him to stop a panic attack in a previous season). This was one of those moments that was several years long overdue and for us Stydia fans, we rejoiced when they finally got their shit together and actually became a couple. Praise!

10) Least Favorite Part/Moment: Allison is killed by the Oni

Reason: Allison Argent was a character you could sometimes love and hate at the same time. When they battled the Nogitsune and she sacrificed herself to the Oni to save Isasc, I sobbed like a baby. It was a way for the writers to write off the actress's character but one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the entire series. It is my least favorite because Allison died. It was a beautiful farewell as she died in the arms of her first love (Scott) but I can't even think about it without sobbing.

Thank you for sticking with me. Until tomorrow! ❤

[findmeintheafterglow]

A Guide to Every Single Newsie

There are way too many of those punks. If you’re new to all this come learn whom is who

Let’s start with some pictures, they’re blurry because it’s surprisingly hard to get a decent screenshot. There are lots of them but hopefully just seeing their faces a few times will help you. Recognizing them just comes with time trust me, I used to struggle to find Race and now I see a pic of someone's feet and am like “ah yes Finch my boy”. Also, I’m only covering the newsies live cast because that’s what you can legally watch and what most people are familiar with. Also, I didn’t want to do every cast member to ever be on Broadway or tour.

Please note some of the things I’m about to say may not be canon but are part of what I know is widely considered true within the fandom. As far as sexuality I may mention it with some characters/who they’re commonly shipped with just so y’all aren’t lost when you see fics and things.

Jack: You know Jack so I’m not going that deep into his character. He’s 17, full name Francis Sullivan, newsie nickname is Cowboy. He’s the leader of the newsies of Lower Manhattan. A charismatic asshole who really just wants meaningful relationships and happiness for those he loves. Undeniably bisexual. Played by Jeremy Jordan.

Davey: Full name is David Jacobs, newsie nickname is Walking Mouth though he’s only addressed by his nickname in the 1992 movie. The most educated, attended school until he was around 17 ish. He’s a doofy little nerd and also mom friend ultimate, I repeat bc this is a defining trait Mom Friend Ultimate. I’m not sure if this is canon but pretty much everyone recognizes that he and his family are Jewish. Played by Ben Fankhauser.

Les: Sassy angel child. Full name Lesley Jacobs. Albert calls him shortstop a few times but it’s not quite a newsie name tm. 10 years old(almost). Also pretty Jewish. He’s kind of an impressionable little firecracker, he looks up to all the newsies but especially Jack. He just has a lot of energy and wants to hang with the big kids. Sass master in training. Buckets of charm packed into about 4 feet of human. Played by Ethan Steiner.

Crutchie: Crutchie! You know him! You’ve already fallen madly in love with him! Lost use of one of his legs to polio. Last name is Morris for sure and a lot of people say his real name is Charlie. Jack’s closest friend. He’s often painted as a pure sunshine boy, he is a pure sunshine boy. However, he is also tough, streetsmart and ready to fight. Very kindhearted and eternally optimistic. Played by Andrew Keenan-Bolger(you may see it abbreviated as AKB).

Race: This boy has lots of names so strap in. Racetrack Higgins is his name, people mostly call him Race not Racetrack. He is also sometimes called Racer. I don’t think this is canon but as a fandom, I think we’ve determined that he’s aggressively Italian and his real first name is Antonio, you may also see Anthony or Tony. Best friends with Albert. Crutchie is Jack’s best friend but Race is sort of Jack’s second in command. Sprace, him and Spot Conlon, are pretty much the biggest ship in Newsies. He’s a gambler and has an affinity for betting on horse races. He sells by the Sheepshead Racetrack hence his nickname. Very easy to recognize because he always has a cigar. The definition of a disaster gay. He has good intentions most of the time but is also a chaotic piece of shit. Played by Ben Tyler Cook(BTC).

Albert: Albert DaSilva is his name, having fantastic hair is his game. Race’s best friend. Personality is similar to Race but a little less chaotic, like he still does dumb things all the time but isn’t nearly as loud. Prankmaster and Sassmaster ultimate. Lives on the lower east side with his dad and two older brothers but generally that fact is ignored and he’s lumped in as living in the lodgings.  His cap is on backwards most of the time which can help you recognize him. Played by Sky Flaherty.

Spot: Spot Conlon, the man, the myth, the legend. Leader of Brooklyn. Comically short but will also soak you without hesitation. Side note bc I didn’t know this for a long time: the newsies call beating someone up “soakin’ ‘em” because you beat them up so bad they’re soaked in blood. Back to Spot, he’s tough as nails but also cares about his boys in Brooklyn a lot. Played by Tommy Bracco.

Elmer: A smart yet small boy. Very good at math and science and somewhat interested in politics. He has 8 older siblings. Polish apparently? I learned this very recently?? A very friendly and sunshiney guy. The newsies make fun of him saying that he’s bad at selling papes. He’s a hardworker. This is definitely not canon but you may see his last name as being Kasprzak. This comes from Evan Kasprzak, the actor who played Elmer in the Papermill and Original Broadway Casts. People like writing about Elmer so they just kinda gave him that last name and it works. Played by Anthony Zas.

Jojo: Jorgelino Josephino De La Guerra where to begin. A good Catholic boy. He was raised by nuns in a cathedral in Harlem. A nice boy, a kind boy. Down for some shenanigans but is generally reasonable and doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Very ambitious and wants to be a big baller(in KONY he wishes for a solid gold watch I mean). Played by Joshua Burrage.

Buttons: Benjamin Buttons Davenport, what a guy. So I don’t know that he’s actually younger but he definitely reads as a little more youthful. He’s optimistic and easily excitable and overall kinda has this genuine hope and happiness that some of the other guys have lost to the street. He lives with his family and has at least a few siblings but I feel like he has hella. Not gonna be last in line for the tub tonight. Played by Chaz Wolcott.

Romeo: Will flirt with anything that moves. He has very distinctive bright red and blue striped socks if that helps you identify him. Is one of the younger newsies but makes up for it with overconfidence. Very lighthearted, we never see him get too serious. A charmer through and through. Still a very kind and caring guy. Played by Nico DeJesus.

Specs: Specs is a good one. He wears glasses obviously so you can identify him pretty easy. Definitely on the older end of the newsies. There’s no basis for this in canon but I feel like he’s been around longer than Jack. Kind of helps lead and run things with Race and Jack because he’s the most responsible motherfucker in that lodging house. Think kinda like Davy where he’s a bit of a mom but more easygoing, less cautious and more one of the boys. Generally a happy guy and so so sweet. Very forward thinking and genuinely likes selling papes. Played by Jordan Samuels.

Finch: Finch! A personal favorite please show him love. Full name is Patrick Cortes. He has a family(or at least a mom) but ran away when he was little. He carries a slingshot with him a good amount of the time so use that to find him. He’s sarcastic, funny, and always rarin’ to go. Tough but not in an “I’ll fight you” way. He will fight you if needed but it’s more like “Life’s a bitch but look how far I’ve made it”. Kinda like a cool older brother vibe but throw in a good handful of antsy. Played by my main man Iain Young.

Sniper: Mkay it’s time for the tough boi trio, these next three are fighters. Last name is Wah. His dad is named Sam Wah and owns a laundromat above Jacobi’s Deli. You may see him as a girl in fics or hcs because for almost all of the tour he was played by a woman. Boy has aim like no other. He is confirmed to be the quickest and strongest of the newsies. Also sly and cunning. Boy’s like a snake or a fox or whatever simile you prefer but regardless be scared. Has a reputation so people don’t mess with him. Would never hurt another Manhattan boy, he’s scary but he defends his brothers. Played by Daniel Switzer.

Tommy Boy: Don’t know a ton about Tommy Boy but here we go. He’s a man of few words, when he talks his answers are brief and to the point. Not in a mean way though that’s just how he is. Appears to be confrontational as he’s consistently seen stepping to a fight(before the world will know when Jack says “keep your shirt on” and when he scabs he gets in people’s faces). A good dependable guy but kinda mysterious, I would not provoke. Played by Michael Dameski.

Mush: Last name is Myers. First name is possibly Nick? In the real strike, there was a boy named Nick Myers so. He lives in Harlem?? But who cares about canon, ignore that. Mush is a ‘hattan boy. Has a lisp. He considers himself to be the muscle of Manhattan and will throw down for his brothers. When the strikebreakers show up, Jack literally has to hold him back because Mush is just trying to get to those hoes so he can protect the rest of the boys just yellin’ “Nah man I’ll get ‘em”. Very caring and very selfless. Boy’s got muscle but is totally a teddy bear with a heart of gold. I’ve always thought of him as your classic rough and tumble but clean-cut caring all-American boy. Played by Nick Masson.

Henry: Last name is possibly butler after the real life newsboy, Henry Butler but the only confirmed name we have is Henry. Became a newsie at 11 when his dad died and his family lost their deli. Has a mom who he still sees sometimes but doesn’t live with. Boy really likes food. It reminds him of the deli with his dad and also he just really. likes. food. Fairly easygoing, practical, and will call guys out on their bullshit(e.g. whom the fuck cares about being famous). Played by Michael Rios.

Smalls: Smalls! I don’t got much at all but here’s what I know. Very commonly thought about as a girl as Smalls was played by girlsies for all(?) of the Broadway run. Pretty firey or at least high energy. Sometimes headcannoned as being leader of the Bronx because in the normal not filmed staging he’s the one to yell “so’s the Bronx”. Played by Julian DeGuzman.

Mike: Twin brother of Ike. These guys are hard to tell apart because they’re played by actual twins but here are some distinctions. Mike wears a brown cap, a plaid shirt, and green socks. Played by Jacob Guzman.

Ike: Twin brother of Mike. Has a dark grey cap, a striped shirt, pin-striped pants, and brown socks. Both twins seem to be pretty fun-loving. They kinda rough house a lot and are often messing around. Played by David Guzman

Hotshot: A Brooklyn newsie, I don’t really know his deal? A typical production doesn’t have Hotshot in it but he was in the filmed version and was apparently there towards the end of the broadway run. Kind of arrogant and tough. Sometimes seen as Spot’s second. Has literally only ever been played by J.P. Ferreri.

Vince/Myron: Ok so for newsies live they just threw in some extra newsboys for the heck of it and this guy is one of those. I don’t even know his name because the actor who plays him also plays a strikebreaker. On the wiki cast list, it just lists him as playing Vince and Myron with no indication as to who’s the newsie and who’s the strike breaker. Just from the nature of the names I can guess that Vince is the newsie? A big tough Brooklyn boy. Played by Stephen Hernandez.

Willie/Bart: Same deal as Vince/Myron. I’d be willing to guess that Willie is the newsie. Another Brooklyn boy. Played by Andrew Wilson.

Kenny: Also thrown in just for newsies live but I actually know his name. A pretty sunny guy, as far as I can remember he’s always smiling. Not in any of the pictures because he’s not in any of those scenes. It’s the same guy who plays darcy so go to carrying the banner or once and for all and find the guy in the yellow suit. That’s Darcy, Kenny looks just like that but in newsie clothes. Played by Jack Sippel.

Am I about to throw Bill and Darcey in just for kicks? yeah I think I am. Ok so this is a last minute decision and I don’t have pictures for these guys but here we go.

Bill: Not a newsie. Son of William Randolph Hearst, owner of the New York Journal. Full name William Randolph Hearst Jr. Katherine and Darcey’s friend. A sophisticated, classy, educated boy. Not tough in a street way but is kind of cold/reserved or maybe just a bit calculating. You can definitely tell he’s a rich boy by the way he holds himself. Looks like Mush bc they’re played by the same actor. Blue suit. Played by Nick Masson.

Darcey: Not a newsie. Son of Whitelaw Reid, owner of the New York Tribune. Still high class but more excitable and interested in the newsies world. Very kind and always concerned of behalf of others. His sweetness does not equal weakness, when Romeo approaches Kath in Carrying the Banner, he’s ready to handle the situation. Yellow suit. Played by Jack Sippel.

so there we go that is every newsie I could think of and then some. I’m gonna attach the pictures I have of an old wikipedia cast list which is what I use for reference since the one that's on wiki now isn’t great

That’s it! If you actually read all this, God bless you. If I got anything blatantly wrong or if you have any questions please talk to me

[iamdeltas]

X, T and K?

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM This depends a lot on what I’m focused on at the moment (also, not all my faves count. Generally if I feel like a fave character has enough fans to defend them or whatever, I’m not gonna feel like I need to defend them. For instance, Elsa. Does Elsa have her haters? Sure. But she’s also crazy popular, so who cares if a few people hate her? That’s why she’s not on this list, even if I do like her.) but here goes, not in order tbh, just off the top of my head: Kamala Khan, always my girl, I adore her so much and I saw a post one day talking shit about her and I wanted to throttle OP. Anyway. Kamala is the best. I cannot wait for her MCU debut. Cassandra, from Tangled: the Series. I adored Cass right from the start, and of course, right from the start, I saw people shitting on her for, IDK, daring to *gasp* not like Eugene, I guess? Wow. So yeah, I’ll die defending Cass, she’s the best, even if she made some bad choices in s3 but hey. Who hasn’t stolen an ancient powerful artifact and gotten manipulated by a demonic Eldritch being, amirite? Della Duck, from Ducktales. I adore Della, she’s such an interesting and complex character who has made her fair share of mistakes but is also trying her best. The whole discourse post-”Timephoon” really showed me that she’s a character I’d die defending as well because holy shit were people shitting all over her for... daring to ground Louie, her son, for literally causing a spacetime disaster because he wanted to make money. Sigh. Anyway. I adore Della. Anna of Arendelle, from Frozen. Oh, Anna. So many people just flat out ignore you in favor of your sister, which is so unfair. Anna is wonderful and determined and optimistic and honestly such a badass? Like that (sadly deleted) scene said, her love could hold up the world. (Fun fact, part of the reason I desperately wanted my brain to get off the Frozen traintrack it was, ah, frozen on from June 2019 to January 2020 was because it resulted in me fixating on how much people flat out do not care about Anna, which wasn’t a fun time!) I am very glad she gets to be part of the bridge with Elsa but am sadly unsurprised that people continue to ignore that and just insist that it’s only Elsa who’s the Powerful, Wonderful, Most Amazing Fifth Spirit. Anna who? Granted, the movie could have emphasized that it’s Elsa and Anna who are the Fifth Spirit, together, but still. 

Alex Danvers, from Supergirl. Still my favorite character on the show! I don’t think she gets bashed as much as mostly just ignored? (I’d say poor Kara gets the brunt of the bashing. It’s very sad.) Unless Lena stans get confronted with the fact that their fave is doing some highly Unethical Things, then they start pointing to Alex for some reason and start saying, Yeah Well, Alex Works For A Shady Government Organization, So Who’s The *Real* Bad Guy Here? (Me: ....it’s still Lena, but go off, I guess.) I guess I just generally relate to her overwhelming Big Sister-ness and the high pressure she puts on herself because what a Mood, amirite? I feel that whole, anxiety that your parents will be disappointed in you because I feel that every day! I also adore how dedicated she is and how smart she is (something the fandom and the show often seem to ignore...) Connie Maheswaran, from Steven Universe. She’s the best! And she was totally the MVP of Steven Universe: Future, telling off all the Gems for making Steven’s problems about them because that was the last thing Steven needed! She’s practical and smart but at the same time so adventurous and brave and willing to stand up to protect the Earth! It’s very admirable. Steven Universe, from... you know. I’ve always liked Steven but I think Future gave me a greater appreciation for this kid. This poor kid has had to grow up so fast and basically play therapist for his Gem moms as well as for Gems who literally tried to kill him multiple times. His compassion is so admirable but wow did it result in him putting himself last! I have a soft spot for these types of characters, the characters who care so much about other people that they forget to care about themselves. (Alex Danvers is in this category also.) I know some people got mad about his downward spiral in Future, but honestly the complaints just strike me as being mad that Steven dares to have his own problems as opposed to being the Happy Boy Therapist Who Fixes Everyone Else’s Problems And Has Zero Problems Of His Own. Martha Jones, from Doctor Who. Oh, Martha Jones, you’re a star. I had a group of college friends who I watched Doctor Who with back in the day, and they hated Martha. (Most notable exchange: one of said friends saying that she thought Martha was just “too smart” to be relatable. Said friend was a physics major.) I hope the Martha hate has cooled down now because Martha always deserves so much appreciation. She had to put up with so much in s3 (incidentally, I think about s3 sometimes and I wonder why the fuck 10 is my favorite Doctor. Honestly, he’s such a dick in s3. Martha Deserved Better.), and I’m so glad she was able to be one of the few companions in NuWho with a nontraumatic exit. I hope she’s living her best life, wherever she might be now. Ninth Doctor, from Doctor Who. Gosh I love Nine. Those same college friends who hated Martha also told me to skip s1, and I’m very glad I did not listen to them. I’ve always liked Jerks with Hearts of Gold, and Nine definitely is that! I just adore how while he had such a gruff and battle-scarred demeanor, he was so sweet and genuinely kind. He’s a puppy in a leather jacket! And not only can he be genuinely soft and sweet, but he’s also just so silly sometimes? Absolutely not what you’d expect from his general appearance but he can be quite a goofball! I love that for him! And while I may not like Doctor/Rose as a ship (honestly I just don’t tend to like Doctor/companion ships at all), his relationship with Rose was so sweet. I also just enjoy that, underneath all the weariness and the surface-level cynicism, he is actually very optimistic.  Twelfth Doctor, honestly, same deal as Nine. I’m very annoyed with people who dismiss him as being the Grumpy Doctor because he’s just so genuinely kind and compassionate? He might genuinely be one of the most compassionate Doctors I’ve ever seen. He even extends kindness to his worst enemies. There’s something really beautiful about that. Being kind, even when it might ultimately backfire on you and might not even work, because why not try? He’s just a punk rock grandpa trying his best, how can you hate that? He’s got some sick guitaring skills btw. He should join a band. (I know Peter Capaldi is in a band, so that just makes me want 12 to be in a band even more.) Sometimes I think there should be a band in the Whoniverse made up of some of the Doctor’s regens but then I get stuck on who’d be in it besides 12. Maybe 2 can be in it, with his weird flute thing. Anyway. His relationship with Clara was great (mostly because of how destructive and codependent it was lmao) but I just genuinely adore his connection with Bill. I’m always here for found family, and Bill being 12′s Earth granddaughter just warms my heart so much! Thirteenth Doctor, but actually the opposite deal of Nine and Twelve. I once saw a post saying that most Doctors can be split into one of two categories: grump with a heart of gold or charming goofball with a dark side. And, despite the two characters I just listed being in the former category, I think I tend to prefer the latter? Mostly because I see plenty of Jerks With Hearts of Gold but I feel like I don’t see as many heroic charming goofballs with a dark side. Anyway, that’s absolutely what 13 is, and I appreciate the layers that she has and am constantly annoyed at people who only see her surface level cheeriness and think that’s all there is to her. I really love it when characters Aren’t What They Seem and 13 exemplifies that. To borrow a phrase from a post I saw a very long time ago, 13 is so facile. She’s so physical, taking up so much space and constantly moving, but is so touch-averse. She talks so much and is very friendly, but is incredibly emotionally constipated and keeps even her so-called best friends at an arms length. She talks a lot about hope and compassion, but boy can she be hella violent and feral! Love That For Her. T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything) Oh absolutely. Off the top of my head: Cassandra is a lesbian. And that’s that on that. 13 is touch-averse! (Also stop yelling that she needs a hug! She doesn’t want one! It’s okay to not want hugs, that’s not a crime!) Alex can cook. Cooking isn’t even that hard?  K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms Ooh, this is hard cuz there are a lot of people in any of my fandoms that I feel like I can say nice things about! Let’s go with Supergirl since I’ve been neglecting that fandom a lot. Uh. I adore @wizardofahz ‘s fics about the Superfam! I’m always craving more gen fic and she delivers! I love her characterizations of everyone, especially her characterizations of Alex and Kara. 

[fivefootab1tch]

allllllrighty~ here’s my tHING~<3 i recognize that i talk pretty fast (and i was also trying to be hushhush so i probably didn’t come out as clear as i wanted to) so i’m including a script under the cut~

Tagged by @momtaku, @laffitine, & @dirtylevi ~ ♡ //thank y'all smmmmm// Tagging @shuuhuu @madcapraccoon @matcha-castella @starry-raven​ & everyone else on here who needs an excuse to do it and wants to. i’ll share the love and peer pressure asdkjfnak

'Aight, so here's my stab at Mamataku's SnK Voice Meme 4.0! I wrote a script to try and keep myself on track, but... the fuck if I ever know how to play right, so here we go~

State your name and username. 『sal, fivefootab-i-tch』 Is there a story behind your user name that you’d like to share? 『it's from an o.g. fandom video called "More Sassy Levi (Ezekieru Outtakes)". this was way before i was more or less tumblr savvy and i've gone through variations of it before settling on this one to mimic Ezekieru's pronunciation of BITCH. i'd wanna have a completely hyphenless version of this url to make my presence easier for the tumblr system to SWALLOW, kkkk but it's taken. the version of it with a 1 instead of the i isn't though... so maybe i'll switch to that one, i dunno. what's a brand?』 Where are you from? 『i'm from the states, southern california, bordertown asscrack of the U.S. you might get that lazy, high as balls, surfer feel from my voice since i've been here all my life』 How long have you been a fan of the series? 『i'm about two years late from the anime release, and i only know this because i immediately started writing fanfiction after binging the series in summer 2015. so... coming on 4 years? damn.』 What is your favorite and least favorite Arc? 『my favorite arc is the uprising arc, a pretty popular opinion, for a lot of reasons: the sudden turn of events, levi's collarbones, levi as a kid, KENNY, the characters all having their own unique identity crisis as their morals are suddenly taking turns, historia reclaiming her identity... (which was something that hits a little too close to home for comfort, but what's a good series that doesn't rip your personal feelings to shreds?)』 『i'm not a big fan of the marley side of things, another pretty popular opinion. for me, suddenly switching to a new cast of characters and setting after so much was accomplished in the uprising arc and return to shiganshina felt like betrayal. i mean... they get to the basement, which was the whole ass goal of the entire series up to that point, then we suddenly screech to a halt to tell someone elses' story. i can understand it... theoretically? i guess? bbut the whole time i was still like "wait a minute, what happened with the main cast?" bits and pieces of it have grown on me since, but i still have a ways to go to invest myself. politically, i just realized... marley really grinds my gears. why did i have to realize this? i'm shook. i can't believe this. i'll process it later.』 Do you have a favorite moment in the story thus far? 『eren screaming "the world outside the walls is my birthright" for... reasons. historia reclaiming her identity for... reasons... i've found myself hyperinvested in this series for immensely personal reasons i hope to eventually see through in my own life. i wanna be free, too. i also liked the moment in the uprising arc when levi thanked armin for saving jean. it was rough, but something he needed to hear. also any moment levi praises people. it's really cute.』 If you could resurrect one dead character who would it be and why? 『kuchel, because not only does levi deserve his mother but i would've loved to see more of her and how she raised levi into the compassionate kind of guy he is now. that side of him survived the tough love kenny put him through, so she must've breathed hella life into her kid and that's something i'd love to have seen more of』 Who is your favorite character and why? 『levi, for a lot of obvious as well as not so obvious reasons.』 『obvious reasons: he's pretty fucking cute. his sass and one liners are hilarious. his sense of humor's a clusterfuck of bad shit jokes and dark takes the people around him don't understand half the time and that's pretty funny in itself. he's o.p. as hell but the way the story makes it not matter when it comes down to it (because the universe is just THAT fucked up) is really something. he's in a league of his own but the depth of his characterization and development shows that's only a small part of who he is. the story demands so much more of him and the ways he rises (and sometimes falls) to the occasion makes me really like him. he's showcased as Humanity's Strongest but he's still human and flawed as fuck.』 『not so obvious reasons: he says fuck gender roles. he's short and makes the trans guy side of me feel pretty good. that particular character trait isn't just a gag for me. he started from the bottom now he's here. he always sides with the powerless, the helpless. he (to his own personal moral code) uses the strength he has for good as opposed to using it to keep people below him, something he could very well do if he uncritically internalized everything kenny spoonfed him, and wanted to. he doesn't sit on a moral high horse. he's open minded and accepting of letting people decide things for themselves. he's humble. if he doesn't understand something, he'll look to other people and he does all that while remaining confident and assertive in his own abilities. he doesn't hold himself above doing the dirty work if he feels he's best suited to do it. he genuinely cares about people and does his best to talk them through their issues when they need it, even if he's clumsy while doing it. it's really inspirational and personally validating .』 Any OTPs? 『erejean hits me a certain way. they're everything "boys will be boys" is SUPPOSED to mean, and i still can't get over jean calling eren cool. they're just so funny and i love their dynamic. hange and petra hits too for a reason i don't really understand yet. i don't get super invested in pairings, but i do like seeing character dynamics being explored in different lights and stuff. **** i bonded with my partner over roleplaying an au ereri thread, so that pairing's pretty special too. i didn't ship it at first, but being open to it has led me to getting to know this amazing person, so... yeah.』 You are able to transport to the SnK Universe for a day. How do you spend it? 『helping out. i don't know what i'd be able to contribute, but i'd want to be doing something to make the lives of the main cast easier. they have it really hard, and so many times i wanted to be able to do something for them. so i write my original characters into fanfiction. on the other hand, if it's a world where i'm independent and free to live whatever life i wanna live, i'd wanna go absolutely apeshit first. see everything there is to see and live all the life there is to live. ****perform a strip tease at a scout party and have the officers stick bills into my boobs.**** THEN commit myself to some sort of social or military work for the scouting legion. ****be their comfort... if yaknoe what i mean. it's good honest work~♡****』 Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong or Eren Jaeger did everything wrong? 『eren jaeger is what eren jaeger does. i can't vouch for whether or not he's right or wrong because there's no way i can really put myself in the situation he's in. mass genocide is very wrong, without a doubt, but something tells me there's something else going on and his real intentions are more complicated. a pivotal point in the series for him was his tribunal, where levi played the role of the arrogant wank to save his life and beat his ass before the whole military court. i think there's something similar going on here. he could be playing a role too, but it still stands that i have no idea. i'm not so invested in condemning or glorifying him, because the things i enjoy about his character aren't really going to be influenced.』 What is your favorite song in the series? Feel free to sing an extract 『i love them all. hiroyuki sawano makes such amazing soundtracks and all the vocals are powerful and chilling as fuckall hell. some favorites i do have are red swan, Vogel im Käfig, Bauklötze, call your name, it's answer song call of silence, youseeBIGGIRL, the spanish version of so ist es immer. so uh... even though i'm not very good at it, i do really love singing, so... i'm gonna try and sing some for y'all. i know a lot more english, japanese, and spanish than i do german so... i'm sorry!』 ****『Like the scarlet night veiling the dark You can hide your fear Can lie, my dear Kono mama yume wo mite Chi darake no tsubasa Hirogete』**** 『Las sillas ya juntas están Charlamos toda la noche  Este lugar no esta nada mal  Y creo que nos llevamos bien ****Solo estamos nosotros  Siempre es nuestra luz  Cantando y bebiendo, puedes estar tu Bajo el cielo azul  Siempre estamos asi  Y largas son las noches aqui』 『Ist das der Zerstörer oder der Schöpfer?』**** 『one of these days, when i feel more bearable to listen to, i'll... try and do some full ass covers, if y'all would be down for that ♡』 Bonus: What would Erwin do? 『about... what? everything going down now? i dunno. all i can offer is a dream daddy reference. he's chilling in Margaritaville somewhere... 』 Say the following: Wall Maria, Jean Kirschstein, Reiner Braun, Ymir, Theo Magath, Onyankopon, Kiyomi Azumabito, Hajime Isayama, Shiganshina Trio, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shinzou wo Sasageyo

[childofsquidward]

Writing Tag!

@captstjohn​ said that they’re tagging anyone who wants to do this... and I’m someone who wants to do this, so clearly it was meant to be

Author Name: childofsquiward everywhere finally

Fandoms You Write For: I honestly don’t know... wait, hold on, I write for The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, Dil Dosti Dance and Kaisi Yeh Yaariyan... yeah that’s it for now I guess

Where You Post: ff.net, AO3 and sometimes I’ll swing by Wattpad just cuz’

Most Popular One-Shot: Ketchup & Maple Syrup which like, okay, this was a cute one-shot and I’m so happy that people liked it, but Bonnie & Damon is easily the only good thing I’ve ever written so I’m like, in shock that Ketchup & Maple Syrup was better (thank you for liking it though!)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: 

Little Witch on ff.net - I’m actually surprised that this is my most popular fic because I just thought that people didn’t like it. Also, I need to edit this fic and then finally update because it’s absolute trash and obviously this means I’m absolute trash because I haven’t updated this fic in YEARS

The Evolution of BonBekah on AO3 - I’m so happy about this because even it’s been over two years since I’ve updated, I genuinely love writing this fic, it’s my favourite fic to write, none of my other fics can even touch this one, they are simply not worthy and I did not put in nearly as much effort in those fics compared to this one 

Favourite Story You've Written: 

The Evolution of BonBekah for sure, as mentioned above, this fic is very dear to my heart and I am actually really happy with the plot I’ve come up with in my head. 

However, another story of mine that I love equally as much if not slightly more than TEOBB, is Falling In Love With Reyaansh Singhania which I believe that I have been writing for over 5 years now (I first posted it on February 2nd, 2015)? I started writing it in high school, probably Grade 10, and it will 1000% follow me beyond University. This was actually my first AU fic as well I think, so that’s I just poured heart and soul into it, and no one will ever see the original version that I posted because I have edited this damn fic a million times and I s2g one day I will finish it, I just don’t how long it will take me because I literally just take a simple idea (let Rey’s three love interests be more than his love interests aka they will get their own fucking stories outside of him before we deal with all that romance bullshit, and also, all three of them are best-friends because I say so - Diya said #SAATRIYA RIGHTS 2k15 until even after this hotmess has been completed because it’s what they deserve fucking fight me) and I just went fucking batshit crazy with it, just like I clearly did with this damn post.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: I was so nervous to post this oneshot - B-e-a-utiful - mainly because it is centered around Alya Saxena, one of the most hated characters on Kaisi Yeh Yaariyan, and although the fandom for the most part is lovely, ManikxNandini was THE ship of the show (I mean, I get it, they were great and I did like them a lot!) and Alya was always kind of not someone the fandom liked because she tried to come in between the main ship of the show, and even when I posted it, some people were all like, ‘where’s MaNan? why is Alya here?’ and I was like ‘this is a fic about ALYA, there are a billion MaNan fics out there, go read them and let Alya have this one thing jfc’. In all honesty, it was not as bad as I had anticipated, which is great because obviously this oneshot is now causing me to want to write a wholeass fic that I will never write because I suck.  

How Do You Choose Your Titles: I don’t know. I don’t really have a process or anything cuz’ all my titles literally suck.

How Many of Your Stories Are:

Complete: ZERO (if we could count oneshots though...)

In-Progress: ALL OF THEM!!! I have 8 on-going fics, so literally all the fics I mentioned above, plus like, one TVD fic, a KY2 fic, and like 3 other D3 fics and one of them is just me ranting about the extremely shitty treatment of one Taani we-didn’t-even-know-her-fucking-last-name-wtf-insert-one-of-the-many-last-names-I-have-created-for-her-here

Coming Soon: I’m trying to finish the ones I have going on, but also, what even is this ‘self control’ that you speak of? Idk her. Anywho... there are about 3 TVD fics that are in my drafts right now, and obviously all of them are Bonnie-centric. I also have 4 new D3 fics that are somewhere on my laptop, 2 of them are crossovers, and they are all hella Taani-centric because I adore Taani with all my heart.   

Upcoming Story You're Most Excited to Write: As of right now, Unwritten because I was actually just working on it when I decided to get distracted by Tumblr. I’m super excited about this one because one, I love fics where I can call people out on how shitty they’ve been to Taani, and two, it’s a fic where I kind try to imagine how everyone’s lives would’ve turned out after Taani leaving (obviously on bad terms with literally everyone) and how everyone would kind of change and I’m having a lot of fun writing certain dynamics that I have never tried writing before but I’ve always wanted to (ex: Taani & Simmi, Vicky & Aashi, Nilesh & Swayam, Sharon & Bharat, etc.) 

Do You Accept Prompts?: I would love to! They’ll suck, but please feel free to do so if you want to.

Tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this, please feel free, it’s so much fun

[thesoullessfuck]

Nygmobblepot Tho...

I’m not even sure if this will come out of my drafts or not but I needed to put it somewhere. I was going to go insane otherwise.

If I do post it, it’s gonna be hella long and hella personal. Some of you might relate though or it might be useful to some of you who also see yourselves in these characters like I do. Who knows  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Long ass post under the cut.

So... I have been legit trying to figure why exactly I had such a connection to this ship. This isn’t my first rodeo, obviously. I’m a 90′s kiddo. I grew up in the age of AOL chatrooms and forum boards talking about my favorite couples (canon and not) from The X-Files, Xena Warrior Princess, and The Vampire Chronicles. I was that kid.

But, for some reason, I really can’t shake my Gotham obsession. Like... for real. I annoy all of my friends. I bought a GODDAMN PENGUIN ONESIE.

Maybe it’s because the fandom is actually pretty darn great and all of the people I’ve spoken to in the Nygmobs tag are so, so incredibly nice and supportive. I haven’t felt this way since the aforementioned dark times of dial-up and AOL.

I’ve been rewatching the series in small bursts as I write my own stories and I’ve also talked a friend of mine into watching it with me from the beginning (Gotham Date Night is now my FAVORITE day of the week). But, I think I’ve finally pinned down why I love Ed and Os so damn much... I’ve mentioned before on AO3 that I relate to these two characters a lot. Both of them with their weird little insecurities and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Their penchant for manipulating people and just, in general, being horrible and toxic friends.... yeah. I legit can’t keep friends for long. I always end up screwing it up somehow and it’s really hard for me to get attached to people. But BOYO, when I do! All I want to do is spend time with those people and talk their ears off about anything and everything until, eventually, they get annoyed or I do something stupid and they inevitably leave. It always happens. No ifs, ands, or buts. The only exception to this is online friends... because I can edit away large chunks of my life and make everything look and sound more appealing. But even those friendships are painfully transient because people find new ships, new fandoms, new websites...

While we’re on the topic of transitions: I’m separated from my husband right now and it sucks. He’s probably going to read this and that also sucks.

I’ve been struggling to talk about it with my mom because she just... doesn’t get it. She understands why we’ve separated and even agrees that my husband and I have been horribly toxic to one another and definitely needed some time apart to sort out our lives. But, when I talk about making that separation permanent, she begs me to reconsider. She thinks I’m moving too quickly and that divorce is such a big deal that I shouldn’t just waltz into. And I get that... but I don’t really want to deal with it anymore. I don’t want to keep lying to myself, and my “friends” and to him anymore. My mom keeps telling me that I loved him and that I married him for a reason and that should be enough to keep trying...

But I am honestly wondering if I am even capable of that? And I don’t mean that in the super angsty “My heart is black and full of spiders” kinda way. I just genuinely don’t think I know how to love someone the way I’m supposed to. My dad was abusive, my mom is co-dependant, and my step-dad is a lazy bum whose only real contribution to my life was bringing my beautiful and wonderful siblings into the world (and he didn’t even raise them. I fucking did. That’s a whole other can of worms). So I don’t exactly have the best examples of love in my life. So I turned to books and TV shows.

I grew up reading YA romance novels and obsessed over the idea of soulmates. Twin Flames. All that jazz. I made myself believe that I was not a complete person without having that other half. And, because of that, I was terrified of being alone. I felt like my existence was somehow invalidated if I was single. Which, of course, landed me a pretty ugly reputation in school and also got me roped into some really dicey relationships.

My whole life was staged. I was never truly myself. Only a version of myself that I would curate for the people around me. I would bounce around from friend group to friend group and only get really close to a select few. And, inevitably, they would see me. The real me. And then they’d run.

And... honestly... I still don’t know why. I don’t know what it is about me that people just don’t like. I’m damn near thirty years old, I’m a teacher, and I don’t think I’m mature enough to figure it out. Aside from just accepting that I’m a bad person or something. But I don’t think that’s right. I refuse to believe that’s the answer, anyway.

I was re-reading Our Home in Gotham the other day to refresh my memory on where I left off in my story and it all just kinda came to me. Which is why I had to come on here and write it all down. I didn’t want to forget any of it.

Ed and Os saw each other. All of it. The good. The bad. The terrible. The selfishness, obsessiveness, and capacity for evil. Even if you take the inherent romance out of the equation and just look at their friendship it’s clear that they are so strongly bonded because of that transparency. They can be themselves around one another. And that’s just... enviable.

I relate to both of them so equally- and in ways that I am not proud- and it’s just so refreshing to write about them and pour myself into them and have them be seen. And, most importantly, accepted in spite of that ugliness.

No one has ever really seen me. Or, when they do, they run. I haven’t found that person yet (I don’t think) and doubt I ever will. So, in the meantime, it’s nice to read about it and write about it and watch it on repeat.

And I think that’s why this ship is so important to me and why my experience with it has been what it’s been.

[starryjyrus]

What Jyrus Means Too Me and Why I’ll Never Be Fully Won Over By Tyrus:

!!TW OF ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND DISCUSSION OF MENTAL HEALTH!!

The Summer of 2017 was by far the best Summer I’ve ever had, it’s kind of a shame it was followed by the worst Summer I’ve ever had..

Anyway, back at that time I had been really into SmurfVlogs (still am, I’ve been watching him since about 2015-16 I’d say) anyway, everyone had been mourning the loss of Girl Meets World and he had announced on his channel that Disney planned on making a show similar to GMW and that the pilot had been released on YouTube, I became hella curious especially when I had heard the rumor that there was a possibility of a gay main character and that there was supposedly going to be a gay love triangle between Cyrus/Andi/Jonah, this definitely peaked my interest considering Disney, outside of Good Luck Charlie and a few other cameo like characters/relationships spotted in different movies/series, like Finding Dory, hadn’t really had that. And a MAIN character? Possibly TWO main characters being LGBT? I obviously had to watch. I of course heard other things that made the series look good, ie the Teenage Pregnancy storyline, the diversity in casting and more, but this is what sold me. Thus started my obsession.

Anyway, I watched the show. I watched the first episode on YouTube and continued watching after that, I remember the break in between the middle of season 1 that was only like two weeks, I remember seeing missing scenes in the show that wasn’t in the original promo (their was a shot of the coming out scene in the season one promo, if it wasn’t obvious to some episode 1 of season 2, or at least the first half, was originally the episode 13 of season 1) and I remember the speculation around that and the reasoning as to why they had cut that scene out.

I was in love with it. The whole storyline was just so pure and the relationship between Jonah and Cyrus was the single best thing I’ve ever witnessed. I made a fan account on Insta for it, a Tumblr, edits and so much more. The whole community was so beautiful and it was so much fun and wholesome. I’d watch the show and remember how amazing the world could be, how something like the ‘friendom’ could exist haha. I was getting older and I know it seemed weird (I was going into my Sophomore year, possibly just ending my Freshman year of school when I started watching) to be so invested in a CHILDS show but I couldn’t help it. It was an escape from reality. A place with positivity and happiness which at that time I desperately needed.

I made some of my best memories of my life during that time of the show premiering and during the hiatus. And the majority was because of things in relation to Jyrus. I’ll never forget those times and what being connected into a fandom like that was like.

The friends, the edits, the Insta live-streams from casts, it was insane too see how happy they got from it all and how much of a new experience it was. Other things like the Asher ‘be you’ memes and Josh on here with his ‘persongoingfast’ tumblr made it great as well. Even if I’m not a big fan of Josh as a person now, due to reasons, (mainly with him seemingly making fun of or mocking Jyrus and stuff like that, considering I used to really look up to him and be a big fan to see belittle something I cared so deeply about hurt me on a level l cannot describe) him being so interactive then was still an amazing thing and helped make things so much more fun at that time, so thank you @joshua-rush for that. Sincerely.

Everything was so beautiful during that..until it lwasn’t.

My mental health got really bad due to some losses and such in my family around November of 2017 and I had to be hospitalized in a mental health facility for a few weeks. It was extremely scary but I found comfort in the place, mainly due to some fellow people inside that watched Andi Mack, relating to them and being able to talk about the show with people who actually watched it? It was incredible. No one up to that point (aside from my mom who I forced to watch with me) watched the show and could talk with me about it.

I got out and the support and concern I get from friends online was overwhelming, so many people cared about me while I was gone and worried about me. No one ever really did that, at least my friends didn’t, I remember opening my phone for the first time on the way back home when we stopped at a McDonalds and the amount of messages put me into tears. There were people online who I’ve never met and we only really knew each other through a ship and a show genuinely CARED about me? It was breathtaking. I have much more friends now that would be concerned and care about me, but at that time irl I really didn’t. And the fact so many did was unbelievable.

Everything slowly but surely was getting better and worse in some areas, my overall depression state was getting better, due to medication and such, but I had relapses a few times in bad areas like self harming as well. It was pretty back and forth for a while.

Then, the worst thing that could’ve happened, happened. A quick backstory is that I don’t live with my mom, I haven’t since 7th grade and instead have lived with my Great Aunt and Great Uncle. I was always very close to them for my entire life, especially my Great Uncle, he was for a long time the most important person in my life, he was like a father too me. Hell, he WAS my father for the majority of my life. And last year on July 11th, he had unfortunately passed away.

This was absolutely devastating and considering I already was struggling with mental health and depression in the first place..ya can probably guess the spiral that ensured.

For a while I was doing okay, and then one day I broke, it had been around the time of Cyrus confirming he no longer had a crush on Jonah and when everyone started to switch from Jyrus to Tyrus and Jyrus shipper hatred became pretty popular. People were sending a specific Jyrus shipper anons of saying they wished they’d die just because they shipped Jyrus, you couldn’t go on YouTube comment sections on videos about Jyrus because you had people shitting on it everywhere, people started commenting under Jyrus edits on Instagram about how Tyrus was better and how gross it was to ship Jyrus, I got DMs of people genuinely upset because I didn’t like Tyrus, I had friends leave the sites due to the bullying they were receiving, we had some Tyrus account going around saying Jyrus shippers were ped*philes, It was insane. Now, I of course was NO saint and I know I’ve done and said some messed up shit too and if I ever hurt anyone I am deeply sorry for that, it was not my intention. And I know Jyrus shippers are not all saints either but this was just out of control. Especially whenever it was hurting a lot of people who were innocent and making them feel wrong about something as little as shipping something.

And I had a mental breakdown. I had just lost the most important person in my life and now the place that I considered my safe haven was crumbling before my eyes and all I could do was watch. It was too much. I had people saying they wanted shippers like me dead, and finally I just couldn’t handle it and completely had a melt down. If you are already having thoughts like these and you have people reinforcing what you already thought and not making you feel like you belong, well, anywhere, it really does get too you.

I of course, came out alright. Thank you to the Tumblr creator that called the police that night for a lot of that.

I’m sorry this is so long but I’ve been holding this in for so long so please bare with me.

Anyway, I am doing much better now and I’m thankful to be here still. I’m learning to fight against the haters rather then take shit and bottle things up like I used too. I still have a lot of issues but since that awful night, I haven’t had any plans of suicide or many thoughts of it.

I’m going into my last year of high school and soon I’ll be a legal adult. It’s been such a ride to get here and honestly I never thought I would but I finally think I’m getting past all of the shit in my past and am moving on.

My main reason to make this post and to be so open about everything here was to try to explain a lot of why I’m always going to be for Jyrus and not so much for Tyrus. I have other issues then the fans when it comes to Tyrus, but it has always been a main one when it comes to me not wanting to ship it.

When I look at Jyrus, despite them being pure and amazing on their own, I see some of my last good memories, I see the best time of my life, I see a point where I felt the best and where everything was going really right too me, I see long lasting friends, I see beautiful edits, I see a community, I see love, I see loyalty and so much more.

But when I look at Tyrus, all I see is the bad memories I have associated with them and the shippers, in a lot of ways, Tyrus has been a huge source of my personal pain in life, I know it seems silly and it probably is, but I have such an emotional dependence on Jyrus and Tyrus messed me up in a lot of ways in regards to that. I lost the majority of my safe haven when they emerged as more then just a crack ship. All I see when I look at them is sadness and that’s all I’m probably going ever going to see.

I tried in numerous areas to get fully on board with the ship but I just can’t. I have no love for it in a way I do for Jyrus. It’s not a terrible ship, I know that, but throughout everything that has happened even if it had no flaws I don’t think I’d ever ship it a lot.

I know everyone has their own version of things and reasons why they ship what they ship or don’t ship what they ship or like some shippers but hate others, this is just my personal story on the matter and I hope it clears up some of why I act the way I do online sometimes and why I’m so defensive of the ship and shippers.

Sorry this was so weird, I just needed to get this off of my chest cause I’ve had it in there for so long and I needed to talk about it.