#i genuinely love working there and my personality reflects that so he told me to never change :’)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
townofcrosshollow · 2 years ago
Text
I've learned from my mistakes and grown from them. I've lent an ear to criticism, internalized it, evaluated it, put in the work required to do better. I'm on my way to a future where I don't have to worry about these problems anymore, because they've been dealt with and I have the tools to deal with them again. I'm learning to be kinder to myself, and that being kinder to myself involves admitting my flaws and working to improve them.
I truly believe that the best feeling in the world is knowing you've put in the work to get better ❤️❤️❤️
#i'm reflecting on the last time i went though a trauma like this#and how much the work i've been doing for months has prepared me to handle it better#i had a friend who abandoned me as a teenager to be closer friends with the person who assaulted me. knowing what had happened#he was the last person to abandon me. and that stung deeper than this. far deeper#but even though his judgement lapsed he still loved me. and he realized how he had hurt me.#and when he apologized i accepted it#and when i saw him at work a couple months back and i nervously said hi. and he didn't recognize me because of the testosterone#and i told him my name. full of trepidation#he gave me the most genuine smile i've ever seen. a smile that was full of so much love for someone who had become a stranger#and he told me i looked great. and i wanted to ask if the person with him was his partner and ask if he knew how much he meant to me#and i didn't. because he was at the grocery store with his partner and that would be inappropriate#but i think about it a lot. and i think about the effort he made for me.#i know what preceded it. i know the person who had hurt me hurt someone else. and i know that he might never have apologized otherwise.#but it still took him work. i know that. it was still difficult for him to admit to himself that he had treated me poorly.#and it's that work that means something. it's that willingness to change for someone that means something#he had to admit to himself that he had done something frankly... really fucked up#leaving someone to be friends with their abuser. after seeing the aftermath of what that assault and abuse had done to them#like that is. really fucked up#and i was in no way obligated to accept that apology of course. nothing could outweigh that action#but god i know how it feels and i knew then. the guilt i felt knowing that person had gone on to assault more people after me#and that maybe if i had said something then none of it would have happened#and i know that isn't true. because i did say something. and it accomplished nothing#but that guilt was something i had to use to heal. and he did the same. and i'm proud of him for being able to move forward#you just have to move forward and know that you might not always have done your best but you're doing your best now#maybe i'll tell him that next time i see him come in at work. pull him aside and say 'i'm still so proud of you for the way you grew'#'that apology meant the world to me then and means the world to me now'#'you've written an ending full of light into a chapter of my life with nothing but darkness and i'll never forget that'#but y'know. that would be inappropriate haha. he's grocery shopping
14 notes · View notes
sinterblackwell · 1 year ago
Text
my manager calling me “a breath of fresh air” in response to me squealing about a mahito funko pop i saw in the TREND section at my job <3
1 note · View note
coolemmasulivan2 · 3 months ago
Text
The Woman Next Door
Tumblr media
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader
Summary: After winning the Dutch Grand Prix, Lando returns home to Monaco, eager to prove his genuine feelings to his neighbor, especially after their bet.
Word Count: 4181
You're my downfall, you're my muse My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues I can't stop singing It's ringing in my head for you
Lando had been your neighbour for nearly two years, a friendly presence in the building. But with you, his charm seemed to intensify. He flirted casually, his eyes sparkling with a playful passion. "You're my type!" He'd always say. Yet, your heart remained unmoved. The women he brought home were a strong contrast to you: tall figures in designer heels, showing their immense beauty. You, however, were a simple person who preferred simplicity over expensive clothing and felt most comfortable in jeans and sneakers.
Lately, his flirtations had intensified. He always ensured you knew he was single and was waiting for you. His promises of making you happy and treating you right were sweet, but you weren't fooled. Deep down, you couldn't deny a flicker of attraction, but you kept it hidden. Lando was a handsome man, but you'd seen enough to know he was more than just a pretty face.
"How was your family?" Emily asked, turning to you as she drove. She'd picked you up from the airport in Nice.
You smiled. "They're fine! It was great to be back home. I missed them."
"You know who else missed you?" Emily teased, a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Who?" You asked, confused.
"Your hot neighbour! I ran into him yesterday at the supermarket and he asked about you."
Your eyebrows furrowed. "Did he?"
"Yeah! He said, 'How's Y/n? I haven't seen her for a while. The building seems quite boring without her.'"
You crossed your arms. "He didn't say that!"
"I'm serious! I told him you were coming back today, so maybe he'll be waiting by your door, ready to confess his feelings. And then... BANG! Happily ever after."
You couldn't help but wince at Emily's over-the-top dramatic gestures. Despite her tendency to go overboard, you couldn't help but love her for it.
"You've been watching too many films."
"You're going to end up together. Mark my words." She replied and you made a gagging sound that made her laugh.
As she dropped you off at your apartment building, you grabbed your luggage and thanked her with a tight hug. You entered the building and pressed the lift button.
As the liftdoors opened, you stepped inside, dragging your luggage behind you. You were admiring your reflection in the mirror when a hand stopped the doors, causing them to reopen.
You turned to see Lando, dressed in a McLaren white vintage t-shirt and black jeans. His curls were perfectly coiffed, and a smirk played on his lips. Like always.
"Look who's back!" Lando's voice filled the cramped lift. "Good to see you."
"Hi, Lando." You replied.
The two of you lived on the top floor, making the lift feel even smaller and slower. "How were the holidays?"
"Fine! Too short." You admitted, the tension palpable. "What about you?"
Lando studied you from head to toe, his gaze lingering on your face. "They were good. Family, friends, good weather. But I'm glad to be back to work." The lift seemed to be moving at a snail's pace. "And happy to see you again."
"Here we go!"
Lando chuckled. "What?"
"You know what! You know that flirting with me isn't going to work. I'm not interested."
"But I am!" He said. You quickly looked away, praying for the elevator doors to open. "I'm very much interested."
"To how many girls have you said that?" You asked, your voice laced with scepticism.
"None, believe it or not." Lando replied, his tone sincere.
As the lift doors opened, you stepped out and fumbled for your keys. Lando leaned against the wall beside you. "What can I do to convince you to go on a date with me?"
You took a deep breath, finally finding your keys. He was starting to make you nervous. "I don't think your fans would like to see you having dinner with a woman."
"That's not a problem for me." He said confidently. "I'll have dinner with whoever I want." As you unlocked your apartment door, he continued, "But if that's the issue, we can have dinner at my place, eat McDonald's in my car, anything to make you comfortable."
You pushed your luggage inside and faced him. "Lando…" You began, your voice soft but firm. "I'm not looking for a one-night stand. I want a relationship. A public relationship. I want to go out with my partner, have dinner, eat ice cream, have meaningful conversations on the balcony. I want trust, and I don't want to worry about being cheated on. I want kids and I don't want to wait until my thirties. Marriage isn't essential, but I want this person to be my last. If you want me to go on a date with you, prove to me that you're that person." Lando listened intently, his expression serious. "Bye, Lando!"
You started to close the door, but Lando's hand quickly stopped it.
"Uh, when was the last time you saw me bring a woman home?"
You swallowed hard, trying to regain your composure. "What?"
"I haven't brought anyone home since I told you I liked you. Four months ago! I never told you I was looking for a one-night stand. I've always been open about my past relationships and I've never cheated on anyone. I also want to have a family and I'll convince you to change your mind about marriage." You stared at him, speechless. "But if I have to prove myself, I'm up for the challenge!" He said, winking as stepped away. "Bye, Y/n."
You closed and locked your door, your heart pounding in your chest. Your cheeks were flushed. For the first time, he had left you speechless. You'd always dismissed his flirting as a joke, but now you realized that maybe it was more than that.
Later that night, you invited your friends Maria and Lisa over for dinner and a movie night. You didn't want to be alone with Lando next door, and you needed to talk about it.
"He's so into you!" Lisa exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "It's the classic boy-next-door story."
You set the popcorn and wine on the coffee table. Maria, already a bit tipsy from dinner, was making the most confident comments you'd ever heard from her.
"Just go on a date with him. He's handsome, rich, and lives next door. What more do you want?"
"I want stability, honesty, and someone who makes me happy and laughs with me." You replied.
"He already does that!" Maria insisted. "He was honest with you, you laugh with him, and I'm sure he'd make you happy, if you know what I mean." She chuckled, and Lisa joined in.
"You're drunk!" You teased.
"I am, but I'm still the wiser one." She retorted. "Why don't you just sleep with him? See how that makes you feel."
Your eyes widened in surprise. "You know I'm not like that. When I'm with someone, it's because I like them."
"But you do like him." Lisa argued.
You rolled your eyes and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom."
Lando was engrossed in a game with Max when the doorbell rang. He glanced at the clock, surprised by the late hour. He wasn't expecting anyone and it was unusual for someone to just walk into the building and ring his bell.
"Someone's at the door." He told Max, removing his headphones. The doorbell rang again. "Give me a second."
He was taken aback to see your friend, Maria, standing there. Her cheeks flushed and the scent of alcohol was strong.
"Lando, hi!" She slurred.
He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. One of your other friends was watching from your apartment door.
"Hi, Maria! What can I do for you?" Lando asked, his tone polite but curious.
"Quick!" Lisa whispered to Maria.
"Look, I'm going to the point. Y/n wants to go on a date with you, but she's afraid you only want to get in her pants." Maria blurted out.
Lando crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Is that so? Does she know you're doing this?"
You were nowhere to be seen, and he couldn't believe you'd ask your friends to do something like that.
"Of course not! But we're her friends and we know she really likes you. She doesn't show it, but she does." Maria insisted.
You dried your hands and glanced in the mirror, adjusting your hair before opening the bathroom door.
To your surprise, the girls were gone from the living room, but you heard giggles coming from the door. As you approached, you realized what was happening.
"So, about the date…" You pushed past Lisa, finding Maria deep in conversation with Lando.
You quickly stepped out and grabbed Maria's hand. "What are you doing?" You were panicking.
"I'm helping you!" She whispered, but everyone could still hear her.
"You're not. Come on!" You started walking her back to your apartment, but Lando stopped you by gently grabbing Maria's wrist.
"You can't take her now. She was about to tell me what I need to do to convince you to go on a date with me." He said, smirking. You resisted the urge to slap the smirk off his face.
"She's drunk. She doesn't know what she's talking about." You argued.
"She clearly does." Lando insisted.
Maria nodded in agreement. "Yes, I do. Lando, you just have to win."
You and Lando looked at her, each holding one of her wrists.
"What?" You asked.
"She'll go on a date with you if you win the next race." Maria announced.
Lando smirked and looked at you. You opened your mouth to protest, but he was quicker. "We have a deal!"
"No, we don't!" You said, but no one seemed to be listening.
Maria extended her hand for Lando to shake. "Deal! You better win, because I won't be able to help you again." She winked and went inside your apartment.
You looked at Lando, your arms crossed. "That's not going to happen, you know that right?"
"Why? Are you afraid I'll win?" He challenged.
"No!" You replied.
"So, let's do it. If I win, you go on a date with me--"
"And if you lose, you'll stop asking me to go on a date with me!" You added. Lando stood still, considering. "What? Are you afraid you'll lose?"
After a moment, Lando extended his hand. "Fine!" You grabbed his hand and shook it.
The weekend arrived sooner than you'd expected. Lando had qualified P1, making you question your decision to agree to the bet. You were a Mercedes fan, but deep down, were you rooting for McLaren? It was great to see him win again, but was this really the best time to root for him?
You sat on Emily's sofa between Lisa and her dog, Zeus, watching the race. You wore your Mercedes cap, while Lisa and Maria sported their Ferrari t-shirt. Neither of your friends was a McLaren fan, but today they couldn't stop shouting the name of the British driver.
"Oh my god, he's going to win!" Lisa exclaimed.
"Don't jinx it." Emily replied, slapping her arm.
You slumped on the sofa, unable to say anything. Only when the race ended did you let out a sigh you didn't realize you were holding. He had won the Dutch Grand Prix. He had actually won.
Your friends jumped in the air, celebrating his victory. You ran your hands through your hair.
"Guess who's going on a date with a hot British driver!" Lisa mocked, pulling you up from the sofa.
"You are!" Emily repeated, jumping around you.
An hour later, you were walking home alone. The Monaco weather was pleasant, and the streets were bustling with people.
As you arrived at the building, your phone vibrated in your pocket. You pulled it out to see a message from Lando.
Lando: Hope you're free tomorrow night! I can't wait for our date.
Fuck, you mumbled to yourself.
On Monday, you left the apartment earlier than usual. The night before, Lando had knocked on your door, hoping to talk to you, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer. The next day, you woke up an hour earlier and left for work, hoping to avoid him on your way out. But the universe had other plans.
As you were leaving the building, you bumped into Lando, who had been out for a run.
He chuckled. "Leaving earlier to ignore me?"
You cleared your throat. "No, I just have a big project going on… and have to go earlier."
"Okay." He said, clearly not believing you. "So, I hope you're excited for tonight."
"I don't-- I don't think I have time tonight." You stammered.
"Well, I already reserved our table, and I don't think you'd back out of a bet. So, I'll pick you up at 7 pm. Wear something orange if you have it." He whispered in your ear before walking away.
You'd been thinking about Lando all day, your mind racing with anticipation and nerves.
Upon returning home, you immediately took a long shower and emptied your closet to find the perfect outfit. A nice orange summer dress caught your eye. You couldn't remember the last time you'd worn it, but you recalled how flattering it was with your tan.
When you put it on, it looked even better than you remembered. However, doubts crept into your mind. What if he just wanted to get in your pants? What if this was all a joke to him?
Lando knocked on your door at 7 pm sharp, and a few seconds later, you opened it. Lando struggled to contain his astonishment at your appearance.
You were wearing a cute red dress and heels. Your long hair was wavy and you looked stunning. You always looked amazing, but tonight there was a special glow about you. It was a shame you weren't wearing orange.
"Wow!" He said, taking in your appearance. "You look... beautiful."
You blushed and looked away, trying to hide it. "Thank you." You whispered.
You closed your apartment door, and Lando called for the lift. The ride to the garage was silent, surprising you that Lando hadn't said anything flirty or teased you.
He guided you towards his Lamborghini Urus, and you muttered a silent thank-you that he chose the Urus. Of all his cars, it was the most "normal" on the streets of Monaco.
As you left the garage, you broke the silence. "Where are we going?" You asked over the soft music of the radio.
Lando glanced at you. He looked good in his black pants and white shirt. You loved a man in a white shirt.
"It's a surprise."
"I hate surprises!" You said.
Lando laughed. "You hate surprises or you hate my surprises?"
You looked away. "Look at the road, Lando."
After a minute or two, Lando spoke again. "You look really beautiful."
Once again, you blushed. Thankfully, it was starting to get dark. "You already said that."
He stopped at a red light, gazing intensely at you. "And if you allow me, I would say that to you every single day." For a moment, his intense gaze made your legs feel like jelly.
The tension was broken only by a car honking behind you. Lando raised his hand in apology and pulled away. Three minutes later, he pulled up at the marina.
"I agreed to a date with you, not to run off." He said, getting out of the car.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and Lando opened your door. He gently placed his hand on your back, barely touching it, and guided you towards a large yacht named Aurora.
"It's from a friend of mine." Lando said as he pulled you towards the yacht deck. "He named it after his baby daughter. He let me borrow it for a few hours." Your mouth gaped open in surprise at the sight of the table for two, beautifully set with roses and candles. "I thought you'd be more comfortable alone." He explained. "Without the prying eyes of strangers or paparazzi."
Once again, he'd left you speechless. The candlelight, the city view, the soft music, and the sound of the water hitting the yacht created breathtaking scenery.
"I didn't picture you as the romantic type." You said.
Lando put his hands in his pockets and looked at you. "I can be romantic… when I have to." You didn't respond, just stared at him. He had two buttons undone, revealing the tan of his chest and the necklace he wore. "Let's sit?" He suggested and you nodded.
He pulled out your chair, demonstrating his gentlemanly side. He sat down opposite you, and a moment later, a man in a black suit approached with a bottle of wine.
The man poured the wine for the two of you. You could tell it was a very expensive wine just by looking at the bottle.
"Cheers!" Lando said, raising his glass. You clinked your glass with his and took a sip. It was delicious. "Do you like it?"
You nodded. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
Lando chuckled. "Far from it. I want you to stay sober and experience firsthand how great of a date I can create for you."
"You're really taking this seriously!"
"When I like someone, I always take things seriously." He said, his face turning serious. "I fight for what I want. And it's no lie that I want you."
You swallowed hard, trying to hide your emotions. Before you could respond, the food arrived. It was a pepperoni pizza for you and a prosciutto one for Lando.
"How-- how did you know--?"
Lando smiled. "You order a lot of pizzas. Like… a lot. So one day, I stopped the delivery guy and asked him what you had ordered. He said you always ordered the same one."
You tried to suppress a laugh at his silliness. "Not creepy at all." You said sarcastically.
Lando laughed. "I know, I know. But I wanted to do something nice for you."
You kept on talking and eating, and you both laughed a lot. You had to admit that you had never felt so comfortable with someone before. After you finished eating, Lando and you walked to the car.
"I'll take you home." he said. He turned on the car but paused. "Unless you don't want to go home yet." For a moment, he seemed shy, which was unlike him, at least around you.
You thought for a moment. "I don't know..." It surprised you that you were considering spending more time with him than necessary. "I'm not going home with you if that's what you're thinking."
Lando laughed. "Well, I guess I'll have to call you an Uber if you're not going home with me. Like, to the same building." You blushed and let out a sigh. He loved teasing you. "Do you trust me?"
You gave him a side look. "No!"
"Wow, that was brutal. Let me rephrase the question: Can I take you somewhere, please?"
You hesitated, but eventually nodded your head.
Lando drove to the top of the hill, a spot he liked to visit when everything felt overwhelming. The view was breathtaking. Monaco looked beautiful during the day, but it was at night when the city truly took your breath away. He parked the car, and you both stepped out.
"This is beautiful." You said, looking at the view.
"It is. But it's not as beautiful as you," Lando replied. You blushed and looked away. You'd never blushed so much in your life.
You sat down on the bench and Lando joined you. "What do you really want from me?" You asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
"What do you mean?" He replied.
"I'm not stupid, Lando. You're an F1 driver. You're young and handsome. You could have anyone you wanted."
"But I want you!" He smiled. "You're smart, funny, and incredibly beautiful. And you're different from the women I've dated in the past. You're genuine. Like I've already told you, I like you. A lot."
You looked at him, your heart filled with a mix of excitement and uncertainty. "I don't know, Lando."
He squeezed your hand gently. "I understand that I'm not the easiest guy to be in a relationship with, but I'm willing to take things slowly. I just want you to know how I feel." The two of you sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying each other's company. "Do you want to go back?" Lando asked after a while.
You nodded. "I think it's time."
As you drove back down the hill, you couldn't shake the feeling that something special was happening between you and Lando. You were excited, but also a little nervous.
When you arrived at your apartment building, Lando parked the car in the garage, but neither of you made a move to step out. "Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed it." You said.
He smiled. "I'm glad you agreed."
"Well, I had no choice, remember?"
"Yeah. Remember me to thank Maria for the bet." He laughed, and you joined him.
"Yeah, yeah." After a while, you leaned in and kissed his cheek. It was a sweet kiss, and Lando closed his eyes as he felt your lips against his face.
As you pulled away, Lando hesitated, but after a second, he cupped your face and gently kissed you on the lips. Your heart raced, and you closed your eyes, quickly kissing him back and tangling your hand in his hair. He deepened the kiss, his lips moving slowly against yours. His touch was gentle, and you felt a warmth spread through you.
When you pulled away, you were both breathless. You looked at each other, your eyes filled with love and desire. "I've been wanting to do that, for a very long time." He said.
You looked into his eyes, your heart pounding in your chest. "To how many girls have you said that?" You teased him.
He looked at your lips. "None. And if you let me, you're going to be the only one." He said and he couldn't help but smile.
You smiled back. You couldn't help but think that your life had just taken a turn for the better. And so did Lando. Finally, he got the girl. The woman next door.
1K notes · View notes
pillowspace · 9 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
The Magnus Archives Fic Rec List
Press the read more for recommended fanfiction of The Magnus Archives! Never heard The Magnus Archives and are interested?
Current number of fics: 85
last updated March 18th, 2024
These are all works that I have personally read at least a couple thousand words of and enjoyed myself, so this list will reflect my own reading habits
If you are the author of a fic, you can request your work be removed from the list. Everyone should be comfortable
Table of Contents - 1. England Jonmartin-centric, 2. Scottish Safehouse Period, 3. Gen or Background Pairings, 4. Time Travel, 5. Highly Alternate, 6. Gerrymichael, 7. Other, 8. Updates (note: some categories tend to overlap. Only one will be prioritized)
Tumblr media
England Jonmartin-Centric
∘₊✧───────────────────────────✧₊∘
Full, Riotous Bloom by BigTed
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Statement of Martin Blackwood, regarding…” Jon looks at him. Looks at him. The look of a boss whose employee was late three times last week, the look of a man who was just busy doing something really important and now he’s here, doing this instead. “...why he stole a grieving family’s oven gloves.”
-
Martin has a run in with a deadly Leitner, leaving him choking on his unrequited love.
M | Words: 66,962 | Chapters: 13/13
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
fell in your opinion when i fell in love with you by Athina_Blaine
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“This is the Magnus Institute, not a creative writing course at university. If that doesn’t agree with him, he can leave.” There was a thud and the sound of rifling tapes. “He can take his bloody tea with him.”
Martin’s fingers tightened on the saucer. Oh.
-
Martin knows better than to talk about it. It's fine. He's fine.
Part 1 of it's only when i hit the ground it causes all the grief
M | Words: 18,987 | Chapters: 2/2
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Just a Little Bit Pet-tea by arthureameslove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin makes Jon tea for the first time about a week into his transfer. It’s horrible. Gag-reflex inducing. Somehow sporting all the wrong flavors.
For some reason, he does not have the heart to break this to Martin.
Little does Jon know that Martin actually makes wonderful tea. Just not for him.
G | Words: 13,335 | Chapters: 3/3
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Misshapes, Mistakes, Monsters by ZaliaChimera
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The Archives are his and stepping away from them, even for a night… it’s strange. Like he’s pretending to be someone else.
Like he’s pretending to be human.
Jon and Martin attend Jon's Oxford University Reunion.
T | Words: 7,969 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Say You Love Me (Learn to Lie) by iamcringebutiamfree
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
It shouldn’t have been surprising to learn that Martin hated him. He had been, he knew, a truly terrible boss - he’d treated Martin horribly, caused him to lose his home, nearly gotten him killed. Really, it had been ridiculous to ever think that Martin wouldn’t hate him.
Still, Jon had been trying, in his own way, to make it up to him. There wasn’t exactly a card at the drugstore that said, “I’m sorry I berated you for six months and caused you to nearly be eaten by a swarm of worms of potentially supernatural origin,” but he’d been trying. He brought Martin breakfast every morning, made sure the breakroom cabinets were stocked with his favorite blends of tea, and had tried to work some genuine praise into his feedback of Martin’s work. None of it was the direct apology that his conscience told him he really ought to give, but Martin had appreciated it. Or seemed to, anyway.
Jon wasn’t certain what motivated the decision he made next - whether it was guilt or spite or something else. He could, he knew, be quite petty when the situation called for it. Either way, he made up his mind then and there to prove Martin wrong. He was going to be the best fake boyfriend he could be.
A Fake Dating AU!
T | Words: 37,889 | Chapters: 10/10
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
a consideration of tropes by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Do you know much about cataloguing?” Jon asks, a little out of breath from the stairs.
Martin, mid-trolley, rolls his eyes. The gesture he makes at the shelves around him is only emphasised by the book he’s holding.
“What exactly do you think I do here, other than sit around and wait for angry patrons to yell at me?”
“Think of what you’re going to yell back?” Jon says, and Martin’s mouth twitches into a smile.
-
Asking the very important question: what if Jon and Martin had a gentle archives/library romance, and kept running into tropes? What if there was mutual pining involved? Only one bed? Fake dating? Hurt/comfort? Or perhaps, a soft and happy ending?
T | Words: 40,966 | Chapters: 8/8
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
It Serenely Disdains to Destroy Us by trill_gutterbug
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin gnaws his lower lip. “Do you think he’ll - I mean, do you think it’ll be…”
Melanie's smile becomes a little less of a grimace. She claps his shoulder. “Martin. It’ll be fine. It’s only temporary. He’s not moving in.”
Martin chuckles. “Yes. Of course.”
-
Jon's flat is being fumigated. He is not impressed. Martin offers his spare bedroom.
T | Words: 13,048 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
terror management theory by prismatical
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Melanie King & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Georgie Barker/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist (briefly)
“It’s a preexisting condition,” Jon explains, sipping more bitter tea. “I sort of got—hm. You know Spiderman?”
Tim raises an eyebrow.
“Heard of him, yeah.”
Jon nods, studying his tea.
“It’s sort of like that,” he says. “A spider killed and ate me when I was a child, and now I can’t stay dead.”
-
Resurrection isn't all it's cracked up to be.
T | Words: 36,587 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Clutching Daffodils by Gemi
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight.
It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs.
He always liked the idea of it.
And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.
NR | Words: 7,624 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
a little love, a little sympathy by Did
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
And then Jon is snarling into his face, demanding what are you hiding with a strange, bright-eyed intensity Martin has never seen from him before, and Martin thinks god, maybe he should just come clean about his CV, Jon thinking he's a fraud can't be any worse than Jon thinking he's a murderer-
Martin opens his mouth to speak. To his absolute horror, what actually comes out is: "I used to pretend to cry because I liked how nice you were to me when you thought I was upset!"
G | Words: 3,308 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
all resistance wearing thin by DivineProjectZero
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin Blackwood would do anything for Jonathan Sims. The Web made him that way, after all.
T | Words: 4,799 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Sam nie pojmuję, jak w twe zajdę progi by Mad_Maudlin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin's been acting odd since Jon came back. Well, odder than usual.
T | Words: 3,118 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Mundanity by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Inspired by @ themlet's post on Tumblr: Jon has to deal with normal human interactions. Martin helps (sort of). Featuring high school reunions, knitted sweaters, and conversations on the bus ride home.
T | Words: 3,097 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Musical Mechanism by Darblesify
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin has always used music to cope. One day he's playing music music out loud in the archive and Tim and Sasha realize the main singer's voice sounds familiar.
AKA Martin's favorite band might happen to be the one Jon was secretly a part of in college.
T | Words: 21,411 | Chapters: 8/8
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Misfiled and Misinformed by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Jon and Martin are married. Tim and Sasha know this. What they don't know is that it's to each other.
T | Words: 2,507 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
look no further by inkyindigo
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin just wants to keep Jon safe. Sometimes the easiest way to do that is to bodily remove him from harm's way.
or, a collection of times Martin picks Jon up.
T | Words: 15,145 | Chapters: 8/8
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Touch Me, Even if it Hurts by AuralQueer
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner
People don't really touch Jonathan Sims unless they want to hurt him. That's mostly fine. Jon has never been a tactile person, and he doesn't need anyone but himself.
Except the world is falling down around him, and loneliness aches, and sometimes he'll take anything - even cruelty - just to feel human again.
*A story set between s1 and s4, looking at Jon's relationship with touch, friendship, and his own humanity.
T | Words: 6,540 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
I'll bring the motion by callmearcturus
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
A long series of kidnappings and international flights leaves its own special mark on someone. Before the Unknowing, Jon is a mess.
Martin helps.
(based on this amazing art by linecrosser)
T | Words: 3,127 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
thanks for the company by lukeskqwalker
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin had been baffled by how easily he spilled his guts out to this odd stranger. Now, Martin is more baffled by the baggy My Chemical Romance t-shirt he's wearing, paired with tasteful plaid pajama bottoms.
Or, Martin gets a visitor in his dreams. Reliving the same 14 days of loneliness every night isn't as bad when you have company.
T | Words: 4,314 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
stranger, stranger by blueskiddoo
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Sure,” Georgie says, still laughing at him. At least someone is having fun. “Don’t you have assistants for that kind of thing?”
“Yes, but…” He huffs, scratching the back of his neck. “I wasn’t going to ask one of them to download an app called...Lover? Lov-rrr? I don’t know how you say it.” He flaps his hands dismissively. “There are--unions and such. It wouldn’t be appropriate.”
*
jon makes a fake account on a dating app to investigate a statement. tim sets martin up with fake account on a dating app to boost his self-confidence. it goes exactly how you might expect.
G | Words: 36,771 | Chapters: 11/11
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
i wanna find a home (i wanna share it with you) by heartshapedguy
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Have you got anywhere to stay?” Jon asks him, briskly. “Friends, acquaintances, maybe, who you could stay with…?”
Martin flushes, deeply. “I, I mean— n-no, not really,” he stammers, and then goes even redder. “Or, just, y’know not that I’d want to, to. Put in the middle of this. Put in danger of, of worms.”
“Ah,” Jon says, “No, of course, that makes sense.” Why drag anyone else into this mess? Seven people died during Prentiss’s initial hospitalization; the collateral damage of roping someone from outside the Institute into her orbit doesn’t bare thinking about. “In that case…” Jon feels like there’s some alternative solution, one he’s just not thinking of at the moment, but it evades him, and Martin needs somewhere safe to stay. “My couch is quite comfortable. You’re welcome to come and stay with me until you figure something else out.”
Martin is held hostage by Jane Prentiss for two weeks, and can't go back to his flat. Jon offers him a place to stay until Prentiss and her worms can be dealt with, and they can be sure he's safe.
T | Words: 65,951 | Chapters: 19/19
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
true kinda love by Did
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
So. Martin isn't expecting anything to happen. But then, one day, something...does happen. It happens when Martin is passing Jon in the hall, and stops to ask how he’s doing, because Jon always looks a little bit like hell these days, and it makes Martin feel like he has to do something, and useless small talk is pretty much all he can do, so that’s what he does. And instead of grunting or shrugging or mumbling something dismissive, Jon replies, with perfect, involuntary clarity, "Every part of me aches, and I would just about kill to have someone rub my shoulders right now."
There's a positively deafening silence as they both come to grips with this unprecedented turn of events. Then they both start talking at once.
"Ah," says Jon.
"Wow," says Martin, at the same time.
G | Words: 5,053 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
hey stranger by ennuijpg
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Tim Stoker
It’s a late night Tesco run, how eventful could it be? It’s not like Martin is going to run into his boss who’s wearing something absurdly different from usual and get the most acute form of whiplash possible from seeing him, right?
(Based on this post about alt jon on tumblr because it's all I've been thinking about of late.)
T | Words: 2,701 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Sun-kissed by Rauchendes_GNU
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alice "Daisy" Tonner
Martin doesn’t have any freckles. Jon has watched him and the others for a while now, and he knows that everyone has freckles. Tim is absolutely covered in them, and he seems to get more and more every day as Sasha seems very determined to kiss every part of Tim that is not yet covered in tiny dark spots.
Everyone has been loved by someone at some point. Everyone has been kissed, no matter if a platonic peck on the cheek or a heated kiss on the mouth. Everyone but Martin, it seems.
Or: Jon realises Martin has never been kissed. He rectifies that right away.
T | Words: 3,407 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
skin deep by isthepartyover
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims
“Hello, Martin Blackwood speaking.”
“Oh thank god-” a woman’s voice answered, rushed and panicked, and Martin immediately closes the folder he was leafing through absent-mindedly and snaps his head towards the door. “Sorry, oh god, I’m Georgie, I’m Jon’s friend, I don’t know what to do-”
(au where georgie calls martin post burn)
M | Words: 3,125 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Take Care of You (And I'll Take Care of Me) by Mad_Maudlin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
When Martin Blackwood met the new research assistant, his heart skipped a beat. Too bad Jonathan Sims seems to hate him.
(A soulmates AU)
M | Words: 20,386 | Chapters: 6/6
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Somebody That I Used to Know by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner (background), Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker
(Minor) SPOILERS FOR MAG 161!!!
Jon gets replaced by the Not!Them. Life goes on.
Tumblr media
T | Words: 6,358 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
a six-step process by bluejayblueskies
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin stands next to him on the train. His hand rests just beneath Jon’s where it grips one of the metal poles, and Martin takes care not to brush against him despite how crowded the car is. Jon considered telling Martin, when they first got on the tube, that it was okay—that his touch would be… well, it wouldn’t be bad. Not like Nikola's. But he’d stayed silent, allowing Martin to cultivate a careful space between them. They’ve been silent for the past twenty minutes as they’ve passed by station after station on their way to Martin’s flat in Brixton.
Jon adds 24 hours onto his mental countdown of the time he has left until he’s allowed to break down and tells himself that he can manage. It’s… important to have goals, he thinks. He splits this one into steps.
Step one: get to Martin’s flat without crying.
Part 2 of touch prompts
T | Words: 2,138 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
who's there? by bubonickitten
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Jon has a panic attack after Elias shows him exactly what happened behind the door after Mr. Spider took its victim.
Martin helps him calm down, and Jon tells him the story of his first Leitner.
Part 2 of thresholds
T | Words: 6,139 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Clothes Have No Gender by kristsune
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Jon wears a skirt to the Institute for the first time, and gets reactions he hadn't expected.
NR | Words: 1,846 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
northwest 6 to gale 8. rain. poor, occasionally good. by chewsdaychillin
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
A voicemail made up of a female robot and Jon’s professional work tone tells him to leave a message, but Martin hangs up before the beep. He’s not even sure he can speak, let alone put this into words.
‘Hi Jon, sorry to call at four fifty-two AM. My mum just died and I don’t know what to do or how to feel. Call me back when you can! Love you, bye!’
AUish where Jon is alive when Martin's mum passes away, helps him grieve and heal (and they maybe admit to being in love)
Part 1 of northwest 6 to gale 8
M | Words: 35,828 | Chapters: 9/9
Scottish Safehouse Period
∘₊✧────────────────────────────✧₊∘
Resigned, Though Not to Fate by inkfingers_mcgee
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“You’re really suggesting this,” Martin says, voice pulled thin.
“Yes.” No hesitation.
“You would- actually do it?”
“I would.”
“With me.”
“Yes, Martin.”
“Why?” Because love is blind, says something cliché and cruel in the pit of his gut. Christ, he never was much of a poet, was he?
Or,
When Jon asks Martin to Quit the Archives with him, Martin says yes. Things don't go as planned. In the Scottish Highlands, they hurt, and they heal.
(Re-written as of 22-12-27; see chapter 9 for more info.)
T | Words: 145,748 | Chapters: 9/9
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
nor any more youth or age than there is now by Ravenesta
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The local Primary school has a new teacher. He is, to say the very least, odd.
A series of statements regarding the interactions of the townsfolk with one Jonathan Sims, never formally given.
T | Words: 6,512 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
There's a 15th Fear, and it's Teenagers by captloverboy
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Georgie Barker & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Melanie King & Jonathan Sims, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Basira Hussain, Basira Hussain & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Helen | The Distortion & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Helen | The Distortion & Basira Hussain, Helen | The Distortion & Martin Blackwood
What if Jonah didn't ruin everything? Didn't send the end of everything statement? What do Jon and Martin do now? Get a job, I guess. A teaching job, for Jon, though it was hardly his first pick. But sometimes your boyfriend looks *really* excited when he suggests it, and I mean, you know literally everything. It can't be that bad, right? Right?
T | Words: 26,140 | Chapters: 14/14
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
the Teacher from the Magnus Archives by Athina_Blaine
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel. My name is Maggie Abernathy and today we will be continuing our investigation of the, uh, eldritch monster slash English teacher who calls itself Jonathan Sims.”
-
Maggie is determined to catch Mr. Sims via her channel, and then everyone would see how cool and smart she was, right?
T | Words: 5,993 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Please Don't Tease Me Like You Did Before by bazemayonnaise
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin is grinning at his phone when Jon comes home. This is not an unusual occurrence, but Jon can sense that the particularly smug smile being levelled at him means that whatever is entertaining the man has something to do with Jon.
“Yes?” he asks once he has dumped the day at the door. “What have I done now?”
Part 1 of Jon and Martin teach at a Scottish Catholic School
G | Words: 5,380 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
beloved of jon by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Oh,” says Jon, numbly. “You don’t. Remember? Um. It’s complicated. What… what do you remember?”
Martin seems to shrink in on himself a little. It hurts to watch, especially after how Jon’s seen him so painstakingly grow back into his openness over the past few weeks.
“I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t – I don’t.”
“But you remember me?” says Jon, and he tries to keep as much feeling out of that question as he can.
---
For no reason that Jon can tell, Martin forgets.
T | Words: 12,739 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
every good intention (is interpretation) by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
They’re standing entirely too close to each other in front of the hotel desk when the clerk asks them whether they’d like a double, twin, or two singles, and Martin absolutely bottles it.
‘Uh,’ he says, at exactly the same time as Jon says, ‘Oh.’
———
There’s a conversation that Martin and Jon need to have after the Lonely. Unfortunately, they are - historically - fairly terrible at putting stuff into words.
G | Words: 11,227 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
These words that make a home in my chest by arthureameslove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
The moment Martin leaves the Lonely is the moment he realizes that it has taken something from him. He is left with the realization that the Lonely fog had been the only thing keeping him whole, keeping him from feeling the aching hollows of his own sorrow.
Speaking makes it worse, so he doesn't. He almost expects Jon to leave, to grow tired of him, incomplete as he is. But Jon doesn't.
Or, Martin is mute after leaving the Lonely, and he and Jon learn how to be people again, together, in the comfort of the Scottish Highlands.
T | Words: 16,060 | Chapters: 7/7
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
hello my old heart by firebirdsuite
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.
Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.
T | Words: 15,864 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
i’m almost me again, you’re almost you by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
After a second Jon steps in towards him, close enough that Martin flinches, but all Jon does is put two fingers under his chin with his free hand and raise it until Martin can’t duck away. Jon has never touched him so casually before – at least, not until today, and it raises a lot of thoughts and feelings that Martin is trying very hard not to process.
Much like a lot of other things that have happened, he thinks. Not that it’s horrible or terrifying or numbing like everything else has been: it’s just another thing on the list of things he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with.
---
In the wake of the Lonely, there's a lot that Martin doesn't really want to think about.
G | Words: 12,928 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Prenons-nous la main by luftballons99
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.
or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.
T | Words: 6,027 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Diary by luftballons99
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.
or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.
Part 1 of showing your hand
T | Words: 5,178 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees
M | Words: 4,662 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
ready to call this love by yewgrove
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
How is Martin supposed to tell Jon that he panicked, stupidly, when the lovely old lady down the village asked him what they were doing in this part of the world? Got the shopping! Oh, by the way, we're married now! Whole village thinks we're on our honeymoon, hope you don't mind!
Part 1 of it is what you have.
G | Words: 5,650 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? by pantsoflobster
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Jon,” Martin said. “I have made a grave mistake.”
Jon whipped his head up, nearly tossing the elastic from his messy bun. “What? What’s wrong? What--what did you do?”
“I... might have invited guests for dinner.”
Jon stared blankly. “What, here?”
“Seeing as this is where we live at the moment, yes.”
---
In which a week in the safehouse turns into a fake-married sitcom, because they deserve to worry about social ineptitude instead of the apocalypse for a minute
Part 1 of this is not the house that pain built
T | Words: 5,391 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Bergamot, Buckskin, and Lace by Qpenguin98
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Jon's never been a touchy person.
T | Words: 3,061 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
be kind, i beg you by gauras
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“Fine,” Jon says, and he tries to ignore the sulky tone of his voice, “fine. What do you suggest?”
Martin pauses, like he’d not expected Jon to give in so easily. Jon’s never been particularly agreeable, but he still feels vaguely offended by the blatant surprise. “W-we,” Martin stammers, clears his throat, continues on much more confidently, “we go in together.”
Or: it takes close quarters and a full 24 hours to finally get them on the same page.
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
T | Words: 14,946 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
tides turning by gauras
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
There's more than one way to say I love you.
T | Words: 20,858 | Chapters: 1/1
Other Scottish Safehouse Period fics: see unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic in Other
Tumblr media
Gen or Background Pairings
∘₊✧────────────────────────────✧₊∘
a deeply annoying child by ajkal2
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker, blink-and-you-miss-it Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, BUT NO SLASH WHILE ANYONE IS A CHILD
Jon is hiding under the desk.
----
There's a child in the Archives, who shouldn't be there.
G | Words: 9,631 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Head in the Lion's Mouth by renwhit
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Danny Stoker & Tim Stoker, Danny Stoker & Jonathan Sims, Basira Hussain & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Danny Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Past Tim Stoker/Sasha James, Danny Stoker & Helen Richardson, Danny Stoker & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Danny Stoker & Melanie King, Basira Hussain & Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain & Danny Stoker
He fell into a deep bow, smiling the whole while. “I’m the ringmaster, of course.”
“Is that skin— Is it yours?” Old wood groaned as the Archivist shifted his weight. “Originally.”
“It is!” the ringmaster said as he swooped back upright. “Nikola decided I wore it well, so she let me keep it. Why do you ask?”
The Archivist gave him another once-over. “You just… you look familiar. Like someone I know.”
On relearning, reconnecting, and redefining.
Part 1 of Come What May
M | Words: 157,202 | Chapters: 17/17
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
reach inside (to find your heart is beating) by ivelostmyspectacles
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker
This is Tim, opening the door enough for his tired, careworn face to peer through the crack; Jon sees the genuine horror on his face as he takes in his boss, bloody on his doorstep, and he thinks– maybe– he thinks he might be safe here.
“Christ.”
Chapter two added January 17th!
T | Words: 5,774 | Chapters: 2/2
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Fractals Upon Fractals by cedarbranch
No Archive Warnings Apply, Michael & Helen Richardson
“There was never meant to be two of us,” said Helen.
Or: Michael and Helen play a game of chess, and work out what it means exist in duplicate.
G | Words: 1,652 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Other gen fics: see Time is Hard by Serazimei in Time Travel
Tumblr media
Time Travel
∘₊✧────────────────────────────✧₊∘
Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, x2!, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking.
The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him.
"I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
--------
Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.
T | Words: 53,319 | Chapters: 12/12
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Déjà Vu by CirrusGrey
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood & Sasha James & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Sasha remembers being unmade.
Tim remembers being Unknown.
Jon and Martin remember being unwound.
All of them think they're the only one.
--------
The S1 crew wakes up in the past with memories up till the moment they died.
T | Words: 37,652 | Chapters: 4/4
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Reflection by LazuliQuetzal
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Sasha James/Emma
Jonathan Sims, researcher at the Magnus Institute, is seeing a ghost. Of himself.
Of course, it’s not really him, no matter what secrets it knows, or how many arguments it brings up. So if it tells him to do something?
Obviously, he’ll be doing the exact opposite.
(AKA: Jon is an idiot, past and future, but somewhere along the way it all cancels out.)
(Expect general spoilers for S4 and specifically, MAG 158.)
T | Words: 51,527 | Chapters: 10/10
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Time is Hard by Serazimei
No Archive Warnings Apply, Michael | The Distortion & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Elias Bouchard & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Michael Shelley & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Gerard Keay & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Michael "Mike" Crew & Michael Shelley
The Eye isn't happy with how the end of the world turned out. Neither are Jonah and Jon. There is no other option but to rewind time and go down a different path. But time is hard for The Spiral and The Web likes to meddle.
This is how Jon finds himself back in his eight year old body with all his memories, some of his powers intact and a strange bracelet around his right wrist. Saving the world, Jon realizes soon enough, is much harder when no one takes you seriously.
Part 1 of Diverging Times
M | Words: 170,443 | Chapters: 60/60
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
The Cube Rule of Food Identification by bluejayblueskies
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Martin stands abruptly. His chair spins away from him, wheels squeaking on the cheap lino floor. The tension between him and Jon has reached never-before-seen levels. Tim could probably cut it with a knife. Or a particularly sharp spoon.
Then, Jon lurches forward and half-clambers atop the desk and kisses Martin, and Tim drops his sandwich.
.
Or, season one Jon and Martin receive memories from the future mid-argument, and Tim and Sasha receive emotional whiplash.
T | Words: 1,630 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
a map of what matters most by gruhukens
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“Is that a body,” Tim blurts before he can stop himself, rising to his feet. Martin looks, if possible, even more scared.
“He’s alive!” he hisses, almost defensively. “It’s not - it’s not Gertrude again, I didn’t kill him, he just – I don’t know what happened to him, I just found him in the stacks like this.”
“And you dragged him up here?” Tim says, and then registers several things at once – the build, the hair texture; the little round scars peppering a pair of thin hands and an awfully familiar face. “Wait, is that Jon?”
----
Jon stumbles back into an earlier Archive, looking for a way to fix the world. (Or, mom says it's my turn for the obligatory time travel au)
T | Words: 20,604 | Chapters: 6/6
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) by OllieoftheBeholder
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker
“So...you’re from the future. In the past. Why?”
“You want the short answer or the long one?”
“Short,” Martin says after a moment’s deliberation. “Until I decide if I trust you.”
The other nods, as if he expected that answer—which, well, if he really is Martin from the future, he probably did. “To stop the world from ending.”
They have one last chance to fix this - one last chance to prevent the Eyepocalypse, to save the world - to save their world. It all hinges on which is the greater force: greed...or love.
Part 1 of leaves 'verse
T | Words: 299,536 | Chapters: 60/60
Tumblr media
Highly Alternate
Alternate universes will remain in the other categories, but this category is for alterations that are especially notable in their severity. This will also include any fics where Jon has an important alignment with a different fear entity, whether that be instead of the Eye or in tandem
∘₊✧───────────────────────────✧₊∘
The Witch's Cat by Champagne
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
“That’s the Witch’s cat,” Tim says, and grins at Martin. “Jonathan Sims, the town’s Witch, said that he’ll marry anyone that manages to get the key from the cat’s collar.”
G | Words: 12,584 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
What Belongs to the Sea by TwoDrunkenCelestials, WhyNotFly
No Archive Warnings Apply, Elias Bouchard/Jonathan Sims, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
“My grandmother taught me about selkies,” said the tattooed man. “Said it’s good luck for them to grace your ship. To treat ‘em right, and they’ll guide you safe.”
It had seemed like a reasonable thing to believe.
M | Words: 126,367 | Chapters: 36/36
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
school's out for the summer by kiaronna
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Various Background Relationships, Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas
The thing is, Jonathan Sims is someone you’d call the police on if you saw him hanging around a school, those frazzled clothes and bags under his eyes, the frantic muttering and thousand-year stare.
Yet there he sits, headteacher of The Magnus Institute for Gifted Young Minds.
The name’s a bit misleading, it is. They’re in a bad part of town. The parents are either terrible or absent, and the kids—
“They’re monsters,” his new and handsome coworker grins, when Martin’s signature on his contract is barely dry. “Absolute monsters. Get too close and you’ll lose some fingers. Or maybe your mind.”
“They’re babies,” is all Martin can feebly manage, in reply, and Tim’s eyes narrow at the fondness in his voice.
“You’ll learn.”
T | Words: 26,088 | Chapters: 2/2
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World
No Archive Warnings Apply, Jonathan Sims & Simon Fairchild, Jonathan Sims & Michael "Mike" Crew, Jonathan Sims & Gerard Keay, Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims/Oliver Banks
When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.
T | Words: 59,336 | Chapters: 7/7
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
rituals by doomcountry
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/The Archivist, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.
T | Words: 8,492 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
ships passing in the night by Zykaben
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood & Tim Stoker, Jonathan Sims & Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Tim meets and befriends the new professor on the staff, Jonathan Sim. Tim has also been casual friends with Martin Blackwood for the past year.
It takes an embarrassing amount of time for Tim to realize that the two of them are married to each other.
T | Words: 5,027 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
all the flowers of all the tomorrows by ivelostmyspectacles
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker & Martin Blackwood & Jonathan Sims
Martin owns a flower shop.
He starts crushing on the guy from the Magnus Institute, but why does Jon keep needing so many flowers for workplace deaths, anyway??
T | Words: 13,745 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
The Good Ol' Days by SingingInTheRaiin
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
When Jon moves in with his grandmother he becomes fast (if somewhat reluctant) friends with one of the neighborhood kids, a boy named Martin.
Years later, they find each other again at the Magnus Institute, and whatever mysteries they uncover there, they will solve them together.
Tumblr media
T | Words: 107,489 | Chapters: 40/40
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
How Particular, My Fondness of You by cedarbranch
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Jon risks a glance over to Georgie, expecting sympathy, or perhaps a grave expression of solidarity. Instead, he’s met with a fond smile. “Oh, Jon,” she says patiently, reaching over to rub his back. “You poor thing. You’re lovesick.”
Jon recoils. “I am not,” he says accusingly.
-
A college AU in which the whole gang works at the library, Jon is emotionally repressed, and the anonymous Facebook page knows all.
Part 2 of Magnolia Verse
T | Words: 29,263 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
because light reverses, because the dead return by 1248, Tiili97
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
"Very well then, officer, take me away. And Martin?"
"Yes, Elias?"
Elias opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again with a shake of his head.
"Actually, never mind. I will see how it plays out."
Martin let out an annoyed sigh as Elias left. Always so goddamn cryptic.
Hopefully Jon and the others would be back soon to make sense of things.
-
Here's a hypothetical question: What would happen if no one noticed that Jonathan Sims survived the Unknowing?
What if they looked at his stopped heart and still lungs and decided he was dead?
What happens when you bury an Archivist?
T | Words: 9,491 | Chapters: 5/5
Gerrymichael
∘₊✧───────────────────────────✧₊∘
Echo Chamber by orphan_account
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
“Look, if you’re another, uh, avatar of a horrible eldritch demon god come to assassinate me in a spooky manner, could you get it over with quickly? I haven’t eaten all morning and I’m starving.”
The thing that calls itself Michael stares.
“And this sandwich cost most of my weekly salary,” Gerry adds after a belated moment.
Part 1 of Spirals and Eyes
T | Words: 21,439 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Break Me Like A Pattern by TheLibraryBat
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay & Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gertrude Robinson & Michael Shelley
The year is 2011. Michael Shelley is living his life in circles, blissfully unaware of the betrayal that awaits him in the summer. Gertrude Robinson has plans to enact and plans to destroy. Emma Harvey is hiding a book in the dark place at the back of a cupboard.
When Gerard Keay walks into the Magnus Institute - two years sooner than he was meant to - everything changes.
This is an (eventual) Archivist Michael AU, exploring how certain events might have played out, had one key player been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Part 1 of Archivist Michael AU
M | Words: 215,290 | Chapters: 40/40
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Choke Chain by dramatispersonae
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/The Distortion
Things Gertrude Robinson possesses: decades of experience killing, containing, and otherwise thwarting supernatural beings, an uncompromising drive to destroy the Rituals and the people who would see them completed, Gerry's loyalty. Things Gertrude Robinson apparently also possesses: a monster on a magic leash.
NR | Words: 14,814 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Make Me Feel Like I'm Lost by dramatispersonae
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/MichaelGerard Keay/The Distortion
Gerry meets a door that is not a door. And a person that is not a person. Remarkably, he does not get eaten. He would probably like to keep it that way. (Or, in the process of trying to avoid death by nightmare hallway, Gerard Keay accidentally charms the nightmare hallway)
Part 1 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 11,963 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Fill The Gap Between You And I by dramatispersonae
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Michael, like a cat, expresses affection with gifts of dead things. Gerry's trying not to be in the business of collecting strays.
Part 2 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 7,377 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
The Life Of Letting Go by dramatispersonae
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Gerry suffers a workplace injury. Michael has concerns.
Part 3 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 3,235 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Fever Dreaming by dramatispersonae
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Gerry encounters a plot by a nascent avatar of the Corruption. It should be straightforward enough to deal with, especially considering his apparently ongoing... "alliance" with Michael. But when have things in his life actually been as simple as they appear?
Part 4 of As One Door Closes
NR | Words: 42,284 | Chapters: 5/5
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Please Don’t Eat the Flowers by Sloane
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion, Razor/Wendy, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Instead of retiring to open a book shop, Gerry ends up working at a flower shop run by American lesbians in London. This leads to a brush with the Distortion, who just wants to buy some lilies, the Magnus Institute finding out he’s still alive, and... well, a normal life was never really in the cards for the likes of Gerard Keay, was it?
Oh, and those lesbians who run the flower shop? There’s more to them than meets the eye—bad Beholding pun intended.
(No knowledge of Maniac Mansion required; I take lots of liberties to slot it into TMA’s universe. UNDER MAJOR REVISIONS. Please see last chapter if you’re a new/returning reader for details..)
M | Words: 77,314 | Chapters: 33/?
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Ode to Joy: or, michael distortion's guide to naming yourself by fromthepinnacletothepit
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley
Michael Shelley is sacrificed to the Spiral before he has the chance to come out, even to himself. Now, as an avatar of the Spiral, his identity is even MORE painful and confusing. Alone and filled with pain he doesn't even know how to name, he searches for acceptance in the one person who ever really knew him-Gerry Keay.
***
“What do you want to be called then,” Gerry says and wraps his arms around Michael’s back.
This conversation hurts. This question hurts. Everything hurts, so long as no one knows about his gender, so long as he has to go on being someone he’s not, someone he just can’t be anymore. He doesn’t know how much longer he can stand it.
“I dunnooooo,” he says, grinning, but inside he knows his name isn’t Michael. It’s just not. He doesn’t have a name. He never has. And it’s absence is like a hole in his chest.
The creature that might as well be called Michael, it supposes, if you have to call it anything, thinks about this conversation while it sits on the ceiling of its hallway and slowly digs grooves into the plaster with its fingers.
Gerry, it thinks desperately. I have to find Gerry.
G | Words: 14,513 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Save That Heart for Me by cedarbranch
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael
Gerry has just filled up his mug with coffee when it hits him. It’s a faint but sharp pain, zinging through his left wrist. He exhales a puff of laughter. That’s the third time this week. Whoever his soulmate is, they’re having a rough time.
Tumblr media
T | Words: 5,577 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
call me your harbor by insertcleveracejoke
No Archive Warnings Apply, Gerard Keay/Michael Shelley, Gerard Keay/Michael
There was the matter of the owner. It could not be said that most people, when asked about their mental picture of what the owner of a bookstore should look like, would answer angry-looking goth covered in burn scars from the neck down.
He also had a terrible dye job.
Or: five times Michael went to Gerry's domain for help, and one time the opposite happened.
Part 1 of the bookstore AU
NR | Words: 4,488 | tChapters: 1/1
Other
Fic types I have not read enough of to lend it its own category. If I read more fics of its type, it'll be moved to a new category
∘₊✧───────────────────────────✧₊∘
unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Oneshot #54: home improvement: or: Jon and Martin vs. IKEA
Oneshot #55: united front: or: Martin helps Jon with his statement hunger . (Set 159/160)
Oneshot #56: evolution: or: There is an uneasy alliance at first, between Jon and the Archivist
(Short TMA JonMartin one-shots, individual warnings in chapter notes, now with a fully-functioning contents page)
G | Words: 73,687 | Chapters: 56/56
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
onto a vast plain by yewgrove
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
The world ends. They get married.
Part 2 of it is what you have.
T | Words: 10,313 | Chapters: 1/1
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
Out There, Somewhere by Artyphex
No Archive Warnings Apply, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
"I'm sorry, you were found alone."
Jon survived the apocalypse and now will go to the end of this new, unfamiliar world to find Martin again.
T | Words: 54,080 | Chapters: 8/8
∘₊🌟───────────────────────────🌟₊∘
enemy of my enemy by beeclaws
Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist/Tim Stoker, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Tim Stoker
Jon comes back from his time with the Circus a little worse for wear. Tim has some feelings about that.
M | Words: 6,263 | Chapters: 4/4
Tumblr media
Updates
∘₊✧───────────────────────────✧₊∘
a map of what matters most by gruhukens added to Time Travel - Mar. 8, 2024
leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall) by OllieoftheBeholder added to Time Travel - Mar. 8, 2024
How Particular, My Fondness of You by cedarbranch added to Highly Alternate - Mar. 18, 2024
call me your harbor by insertcleveracejoke added to Gerrymichael - Mar. 18, 2024
tides turning by gauras added to Scottish Safehouse Period - Mar. 18, 2024
a six-step process by bluejayblueskies added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
who's there? by bubonickitten added to England Jonmartin-centic - Mar. 18, 2024
because light reverses, because the dead return by 1248, Tiili97 added to Highly Alternate - Mar. 18, 2024
Clothes Have No Gender by kristsune added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
northwest 6 to gale 8. rain. poor, occasionally good. by chewsdaychillin added to England Jonmartin-centric - Mar. 18, 2024
446 notes · View notes
nomoreusername · 7 months ago
Text
Smile
Tumblr media
Newt x gender neutral reader
Summary:When Newt notices you hiding your smile he quickly makes everything better again.
I looked into the little piece of broken glass as I thought about what they said. It was only meant to be a joke. I wasn't supposed to actually believe them.
But I did. I've been looking at my reflection and seeing what it looks like when I smile. Despite not caring about their words at first it seemed to be nothing short of true now.
My smile was ugly. It was far too toothy, too wide, too much. I've been trying to find a way to fix it, trying to change it, but nothing was working. It was still so hateable.
That left me with one desperate option. Avoid smiling as much as possible. If I do I try to hide it behind my hand. It looks ridiculous, but apparently so do I when I grin.
"Hey,"Newt said, walking in. I shoved the piece of glass under my bed.
"Don't you know how to knock?"I snapped, feeling my face flush with embarrassment.
"Not with you,"He pointed out. That was true, but right now I can't stand anyone seeing me. Practicing how to smile is a hard thing to explain. Especially, to him.
"Out,"I instructed, pointing at the door. He was visibly confused as he left. I guess I would be too.
"I wish I could fix this,"I sighed, pulling out the broken glass one last time. If only.
♡ - - - ♡
I nodded my head as Minho kept telling his story. It was admittedly kind of funny. I felt myself start to smile but managed to stop it just in time. I covered my mouth with my hand just in case it happened again.
"Are you alright, love?"Newt whispered in my ear.
"Yeah,"I shrugged, leaning back. He didn't look convinced. If anything he looked more concerned. He can't be though, right? I technically haven't done anything bad or wrong.
"Hey. Follow me real quick,"He whispered again, standing up. We slipped away from everyone without a word. Nobody seemed to notice.
"Where exactly are we going?"I asked as we walked away from the others.
"Just trust me. It'll only take a minute,"He promised. I wasn't sure if I believed him but didn't stop walking.
Eventually, he turned by the cliff and sat. He looked back at me expectantly. I joined him.
"It's pretty, isn't it?"He asked, looking at the sunset.
"Extremely,"I agreed.
"It's enough to make anyone smile,"He added. I didn't say anything this time.
"It always made you smile. How come you aren't?"He questioned. I fixated on the ocean below me to avoid looking at him.
"Y/N, how come you don't smile anymore?
"I do,"I mumbled.
"Barely, and anytime you do it's not yours. I want to see you smile from ear to ear."
"Why?"I asked before I could stop myself. I cringed at my words and wished I could take the back.
"Why? What do you mean why?"
"Why do you want to see me smile?"I whispered.
"Because I like seeing you happy, and I know you're happy when you wear that bright, perfect grin."
The only sound for a while was the crashing of waves against rocks. What was there to say?
"You don't think your smile is perfect, do you?"He asked quietly. I didn't say anything which was an answer in itself.
"Y/N, do you remember how we met?"He asked out of the blue.
"Of course I do. You were the third person up in the Glade. I helped you out of the box and showed you around,"I reminessed.
"And do you remember how scared I was at first?"
"Yeah. Alby and I were worried you were never going to leave the box."
"And I might not have. There was one thing though, that told me everything was going to be okay,"He stated, pausing so I was left with a burning curiosity.
"What was it?"I wondered.
"You. You held out your hand and flashed me that brilliant smile. Suddenly, everything was okay because you were there. I didn't even know my name, but that if someone could have such a genuine smile I would be okay,"He admitted.
I looked at him and searched his face for any sign of a fib. Then, I realized who I was sitting with. Newt's a lot of things, practically all of them incredible, but a liar is not on the list.
"See? There's that contagious smile,"He remarked, making me recognize that I was practically beaming. It's so hard not to when I'm around him.
"Now don't you ever hide that amazing smile again. Good that?"He checked.
"As long as I have you then yeah. Good that,"I agreed.
"Good. Do you want to go back to everyone else?"He offered.
I didn't say anything as I placed my head on his shoulder which was another silent answer.
Right there I was perfectly content in that one simple moment. It was just the sunset, me, and the one person who never fails to make me smile.
237 notes · View notes
isuckatwritingsobenice · 3 months ago
Note
hiii saw ur requests are open for inside job 🖤 what about brett hand with a s/o who’s confident and assertive but also very kind especially to him?? like they would always be there for him whenever he’d have a panic attack, comfort him whenever he’s upset and defend him when someone’s being mean to him?? pls i love him he’s such a little meow meow
A/N: AHHH MY FIRST BRETT ASK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANON <333 I love Brett we need more people like him in this world.
Warnings: Mainly fluff all around, john from finances is my biggest opp atm 😒👎
Navigation!! // Masterlist ( coming soon )
Tumblr media
Brett Hand was usually the guy everyone loved—always optimistic, always eager to lend a hand. But the corporate world wasn’t always so forgiving. There were times when even his relentless positivity wasn’t enough to deflect the sharp edges of office politics.
It was late afternoon when you found Brett in the break room, staring out the window with a deep frown creasing his usually bright features. His posture was slumped, his hands gripping the edge of the counter like he needed something to hold onto.
“Hey, Brett,” you greeted him, your voice low and warm as you approached. You leaned casually against the counter beside him, your presence solid and comforting. “Everything okay?”
He glanced at you, his eyes reflecting a weariness you didn’t often see. “Just… work stuff,” he said, trying to brush it off, but the way he ran a hand through his hair told you there was more to it.
You tilted your head, giving him a knowing look. “Work stuff, huh? Is that why you’re hiding out in the break room instead of in your office?”
Brett let out a soft, bitter laugh. “Yeah, guess I’m not doing a great job at pretending everything’s fine, huh?”
You placed a hand on his back, rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades. “You don’t have to pretend with me. What happened?”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping even more. “You know that big presentation I’ve been working on? The one for the execs?” He paused, waiting for your nod. “It didn’t go well. At all. There’s this one guy—John from finance—he just… tore me apart. And not in a constructive way. It felt personal.”
Your brow furrowed, anger simmering beneath your calm exterior. “John, huh? The guy who thinks he’s everyone’s boss?” You shook your head, irritation clear in your tone. “Brett, that’s not on you. Some people get off on tearing others down to make themselves feel bigger.”
“I know, but…” Brett’s voice wavered, and he looked down at his hands. “It’s hard not to take it personally when you put so much of yourself into something, and then someone just… rips it apart like it’s nothing.”
You turned to face him fully, placing both hands on his shoulders and gently forcing him to meet your eyes. “Brett, listen to me. You’re one of the hardest working, most genuine people I know. John’s comments say more about him than they do about you.”
He searched your eyes for a moment, as if looking for something to hold on to. “But what if he’s right? What if I’m just… not good enough?”
Your grip on his shoulders tightened, a mix of firmness and tenderness. “Don’t you dare doubt yourself because of one person’s pettiness. You got where you are because you’re good at what you do. You care, and that shows in everything you touch. No one can take that away from you, especially not some bitter finance guy.”
Brett took a deep breath, some of the tension leaving his body. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You always know what to say.”
You smiled softly, your fingers tracing soothing patterns on his arm. “I’m always going to be here, Brett. I believe in you, even when you forget to believe in yourself.”
As you both stood there in silence, the weight of the day slowly lifting, you knew Brett wasn’t entirely free of his doubts. But he leaned into your touch, drawing strength from your presence. He had someone who saw him, really saw him, and that made all the difference.
Later, as you both left the office together, you noticed John across the parking lot. The sight of him immediately reignited that protective fire within you, but you kept your cool. As you walked past, John threw a glance your way, and you didn’t hesitate to hold it.
“John,” you called out, your voice carrying just enough edge to get his attention.
He looked over, a smirk on his face. “Yeah?”
“I’d appreciate it if you kept your critiques professional,” you said, your tone polite but firm. “We’re all working toward the same goals here. Tearing down a teammate doesn’t help anyone.”
John looked taken aback, but before he could respond, you added, “And for the record, Brett’s presentation was solid. You might want to rethink how you approach these things in the future.”
Brett squeezed your hand, a small, grateful smile playing on his lips as you both walked away.
“You really didn’t have to do that,” he said quietly.
“I know,” you replied, meeting his gaze with a steady look. “But I wanted to. You deserve better, Brett. And I’m not going to let anyone make you feel less than what you are.”
Brett’s smile grew a little more, the warmth returning to his eyes. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
You shrugged, grinning. “I try. And so do you, which is why I’ve got your back. Always.”
67 notes · View notes
stylesispunk · 1 year ago
Text
"would you kiss me under the mistletoe?"
Ceo!Joel Miller x f! Reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: Christmas is coming, and the annual party at the company might be the night you get to kiss your boss. Warnings: none. Just fluff. word count: 3k>
a/n: I wrote this one yesterday during my break, so since Christmas is around the corner I got inspired by the magical spirit, I hope you enjoy it 🤞💌 reblogs and comments are always appreciated.
masterlist
dividers by @/plum98
Tumblr media
Christmas wasn’t special for you. You had never celebrated the night over dinner surrounded by your family, at least not since you were a kid. 
The holiday season was just a reminder of the absence of belonging somewhere, to a home, and those sweat-warm nights with your family had been left behind, the laughter, and the joy of the anticipated wait for Santa was just a tear slipping down your heart, becoming memories fading away each passing year. 
But you still love it. You loved the twinkling lights, finding solace in the love filling the air, even in people losing their minds over finding an important gift to give to their loved ones. And you just loved the scent of freshly baked cookies, and the songs playing on the radio. You just found magic in the season in a certain way, creating your little bubble of coziness inside the four walls of your apartment. 
Even at work, the lights and decorations seemed to envelop the place into a festive atmosphere that made your heart melt. 
The days leading up to the company's annual Christmas party create the joyful spirit of the upcoming holidays in the atmosphere. Everyone around you received lovely greetings and well-wishes from your coworkers. You couldn't help but admire and smile at the picture because it was the closest you could get to being surrounded by a crowd during these days. Before returning home to an empty apartment with a tiny Christmas tree in the corner of your living room, next to a door and a picture of you and your mother who was thousands of kilometers away.
You were engrossed in your own self-pity and didn't notice Joel approaching you. He'd been your employer for the previous year and a half, and his cute face had been on your mind from the day you walked into this office for the first time, and his kind personality didn't help you get rid of the crush you'd developed on him.
Joel, seemingly oblivious to your internal struggles, flashed a warm smile. "Hey you”
You, shaken from your thoughts, managed a smile in return. “Mr. Miller”
Joel chuckled, “How many times I’ve told you just to call me Joel”
"I-I know, it's just... force of habit, I guess." You stuttered, feeling the red rushing into your cheeks.
Joel's laughter filled the air, and he leaned casually against your desk. "So, any exciting plans for the holidays?"
You sighed, glancing toward the horizon, almost picturing the small Christmas tree in your apartment, the twinkling lights casting a soft glow in the dark "Not really. Just the usual. Quiet night at home, maybe watch some movies."
He laughed, perhaps thinking it was just a joke.
“Are you coming to the party tomorrow, right?” he asked you, his eyes shone under the soft light of the day.
You hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I'll be there. It's a good time."
"Great! Looking forward to it," Joel said with a smile, the kindness in his eyes reflecting a genuine excitement “Besides, secret Santa tomorrow? Exciting!”
You beamed at him, lost in the urge to kiss him right now, and ending with the thoughts that had tormented you for over a year. "Yeah, I guess so," you said. "Last year I had Betty, I'm glad she liked the present I got for her"
"That's because you're attentive and nice," he explained, "and everyone here is aware of it. "This is why we all love you."
Your eyes widened, and your heart stopped beating.
"I mean, why do they love you," he clarified, clearing his throat.
He panicked when you didn't respond.
"And you're my best employee." he added, trying to dismiss the words that escaped from his lips "My favorite," he added, just to make you smile.
As Joel's words remained in the air, the hot flush spread across your cheeks.
"Yeah," you said, your voice a little lower than normal. " Thank you, Joel. I'm grateful."
He grinned, obviously oblivious to the effect his words had on you.
Then, the conversation shifted to work-related topics, yet the questions lingered.
Why does he appear more excited about my presence this time? You questioned yourself.
Tumblr media
The next day, the sharp winter frost made you shudder, and the frozen ground, now draped in a white cloak, rushed the coolness into your rose cheeks, leaving you with a soft blush of pink color on your skin.
However, soon you entered the workplace, you were embraced by the warm atmosphere of everyone gathered together, and all the cold bones in your body melted. The lights and laughter were buzzing with excitement for the approaching party.
As you approached your office, everybody greeted you with infectious smiles that made your heart skip a beat. When you arrived at your desk, your eyes were caught up by a small, carefully packaged gift placed in front of your computer. You couldn't stop yourself from being curious.
“I hope you wear these at the party tonight”
-Your secret Santa
The corners of your mouth curled in a smile. It was a nice gesture, and you couldn't help but appreciate the time and effort that went into selecting such an appropriate and beautiful gift for you.
You caught yourself stealing glances at everyone throughout the day, wondering who may be your secret Santa. All you wanted was for it to be Joel.
Amid your thoughts, one of your colleagues, Lisa, burst into your office with an animated expression. "Hey there! So, who's your secret Santa? spill the beans!"
Lisa's enthusiasm made you chuckle, a combination of enjoyment and a little embarrassment. "Well, Lisa, it's a secret. That is the entire purpose of Secret Santa."
"Hey, what's all this excitement about?" Joel inquired; his tone lighthearted as he stepped further into the room.
Lisa, unable to contain her curiosity, smiled at him. "We're attempting to determine who this lady's Secret Santa is!" "Do you have any ideas?"
Joel pretended to be innocent for a minute, scratching his chin as if deep in contemplation. "Hmm, let me think about it." Isn't it a real mystery?"
You flashed him a playful gaze, thinking he was hiding something.
"Oh, Joel, come on. You can't keep us waiting forever." Joel's face softened into a discrete giggle as Lisa demanded. "All right, okay. I might know something."
Lisa's eyes expanded with excitement. "Of course, you're in charge!
You lifted an eyebrow, meeting Joel's gaze. "How do you know this?"Spill it!"
Joel leaned in, his voice low, as if passing on an exclusive secret to you. "Well, I heard your Secret Santa got you something just perfect." Something that will make you happy."
You lifted an eyebrow, meeting Joel's gaze. "And how do you know that?"
He laughed. "Let's just say I have my sources"
Lisa giggled, fascinated with the enigma "So, do you have any guesses, Joel?"
Joel pretended to think for a bit, then smirked and pointed at himself. " We'll find out at the party, I'm sure." The secret will stay till then. That's our tradition"
Just as Joel was going to say something else, Tess's voice echoed from a distance, desperately calling out for Joel. Tess and Joel exchanged a few words before Joel excused himself to join her, leaving Lisa and you behind.
Once Tess and Joel were out of earshot, Lisa turned to you with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You know, those two would make such a hot couple, don't you think?"
Your heart sank a little at the thought, and you managed a weak smile, trying to brush off the sudden wave of emotions. "Yeah, they do seem to get along well."
It was true though, starting by Tess being Joel's business parter to her being gorgeous and closer in age to Joel, they had always gotten along. They had the same kind of fancy life, they had always traveled together everywhere and shared time beyond office hours. They were just made for each other, but that didn't mean it hurt you less.
Tumblr media
As the workday came to an end, you and Lisa couldn't get your minds off the upcoming Christmas party. The light interaction with Joel added an extra element of enticement, and the mystery surrounding your Secret Santa kept the optimistic mood intact.
When noon arrived, you and Lisa exchanged stressed glances before heading home to prepare for the evening's festivities. The excitement swelled within you as you went out into the cool winter air, and you couldn't help but wonder what surprises the night wold unfold.
So, once you get home, you carefully pick an ideal dress for the occasion. The dress you chose was a deep emerald green with delicate sparkles that would capture the light of the night. It moved with flow, reflecting the essence of the season. You paired it with the silver earrings your Secret Santa had given to you to wear tonight.
Tumblr media
Later that evening, as you approached the building, the bright lights and festive decorations revealed the start of a beautiful night ahead. The sweet smell of festive treats filled the air, and cheerful chattering boomed around the venue.
You were greeted by the warm glow of fairy lights and the enthusiastic energy of your coworkers as you entered the party. The area had been transformed into a winter wonderland, with the season's magic filling every corner.
Joel, dressed in a traditional black suit, stood near the entrance, smiling as he welcomed everyone. A small connection lingered when your eyes met his, in a timid exchange of smiles between the both of you, anticipating the red flush of your cheeks. 
Once inside the party, the atmosphere was electrifying. The sparkling bulbs, giggles, and music generated a happy atmosphere. Coworkers chatted while exchanging anecdotes and enjoying the festivities.
As the Secret Santa reveal arrived, you found yourself scanning the room for a glimpse of Joel. The mystery of the gift, as well as his fun demeanor, had piqued your curiosity.
Joel subsequently joined the guests, arm in arm with Tess, your heart tugged at the sight, however, his eyes met yours, and he smiled at you, timidly. 
You didn't mirror his expression, instead, you focused on what was happening in front of you instead, at the moment of Secret Santa reveals.
The room buzzed with anticipation as each person shared and received their gifts. You couldn't help but appreciate the effort and consideration that went into choosing each present, smiling at the thought of it.
When it was finally Joel's turn, everyone was expectant. Since he was the boss, all the employees wanted to know who was the lucky person receiving the gift of the head of the company.
He stood in the middle of the room, with a beautiful wrapped box. The anticipation in the room grew as you, along with everyone else, awaited the revelation.
Then, he walked toward you, handing over the carefully wrapped box. The entire room seemed to stop breathing, and all eyes were on you and Joel.
The room seemed to fade into background noise, and all focus was on this exchange between you and your boss.
You could feel the strong beating of your heart in your chest, leaving a way for blood to rush all over your cheeks.
"Looks like I got the honor of being your Secret Santa," Joel replied, his eyes twinkling.
You smiled at him, receiving the gift in your hands. A delicate friction between your hands sent shivers down all over your spine.
As you unwrapped the gift, you discovered a charming necklace, a delicate pendant that caught the light of the room on it.
Joel's gaze was drawn to yours, and a real smile flickered across his lips. It had a delicate beauty to it; the unspoken connection you and Joel shared grew in that right away, but only both of you could feel it.
Before you could utter a thank you, everyone in the place cheered, and Tess came, leaning over to Joel and whispered something into his ear as applauses kept feeling the room. He nodded in return, his gaze fixed on you, walking away with Tess. and you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at that.
Tumblr media
But the party had to continue, and you found yourself engaged in conversations with your colleagues, even when your thoughts kept d drifting back to Joel and his gift.
As the night progressed, you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you saw Tess, wearing a mischievous grin. "Joel's Secret Santa choice was spot on, don't you think?"
You smiled a hint of blush on your cheeks. "Yeah, it was a really beautiful gift."
Tess leaned in a little closer. "He put a lot of thought into it. You can tell. It matches your earrings"
Tess pointed out the matching elegance of the pendant with your earrings, and your smile widened. The subtle coordination hadn't gone unnoticed by you, and it offered a further level of appreciation for Joel's considerate choice.
Tess laughed, her suspicious grin persistent on her face. "You should know that Joel isn't just good with gifts." He's been talking a lot about you."
You couldn't help but raise your brows in surprise, and you couldn't help but feel a curiosity"Really? "What exactly has he been saying?"
Tess shrugged, her humorous look still on her face. "Oh, he just thinks you're pretty amazing at your job and stuff. However, you did not hear it from me."
After that, Tess went away, leaving you with an increased feeling of affection and awe.
Tumblr media
Later that night, while you were drowned in a sea of joyful beams and festive ornaments, you felt a soft tap on your shoulder. When you turned around, you saw Joel standing there with a real grin on his face.
"Hey there," he greeted, his eyes reflecting warmth. "I hope you're having a good time."
You returned his smile, the connection between you palpable. "Yeah, it's been great. Your gift was really thoughtful. Thank you."
Joel's eyes held a glint of appreciation. "I'm glad you liked it"
"It was really beautiful" you whispered, touched by the sincerity of his gesture.
"I just thought it would complete the set," he replied, his eyes holding yours.
Joel lifted his hand, and his fingers delicately tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, a soft heat spread through you. The air around you seemed charged with a different energy, and the festive lights of the party contributed to a magical moment.
"Thank you, Joel," you said, your voice barely above a whisper. The connection between you felt more profound with each passing second.
Joel's gaze lingered on yours, his thumb gently grazing your cheek. The world around you faded away.
“You look breathtaking tonight”
A warmth spread across your cheeks at Joel's compliment, his words adding a touch of sincerity to the already enchanting evening. The festive lights and laughter seemed to dim in comparison to the connection you shared in that moment.
"Thank you," you replied, feeling a genuine appreciation for his kind words. "You don't look too bad yourself in that suit," you added playfully, a smile dancing on your lips.
Joel chuckled, a twinkle in his eye. "Well, I figured a classic suit is always a safe bet for these occasions."
You nodded, the emerald green dress and silver earrings reflecting the joy in your eyes.
Joel's gaze held a twinkle in his eye. "Having a good time?"
"Absolutely. And thank you again for the lovely earrings. They're perfect."
Joel's smile widened, and he glanced around the festive atmosphere. "I'm glad you like them. It's the least I could do for my favorite employee."
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, you felt the weight of their meaning.
Joel, with a genuine smile, continued the conversation. "So, any exciting plans for the holidays? Family gatherings, maybe?"
You chuckled, a hint of wistfulness in your response. "Not really. It's just going to be a quiet Christmas at home. I've gotten used to spending it alone."
Joel's genuine smile faltered slightly, replaced by a look of surprise and concern. "You're kidding, right?" he asked, his voice laced with genuine disbelief.
You shrugged, trying to downplay the weight of your words. "No, it's true. Christmas has never been a big celebration for me. I'm used to spending it alone, just enjoying the quiet."
His eyes searched yours for a moment, a mix of understanding and something else you couldn't quite decipher. "Well, that's not right. Christmas is a time for joy and togetherness. No one should be alone during the holidays."
You appreciated his concern, but a part of you felt a little embarrassed for sharing such a personal detail. "It's okay, really. I find my own ways to make it special. Movies, maybe a good book, you know."
Joel nodded, and his smile softened, and he excused himself to make a call, leaving you momentarily alone in the midst of the festive celebration. As you stood there, a sense of vulnerability washed over you, wondering if you had shared too much with him.
As you stood there, waiting for Joel to return after what felt like an eternity, a sense of disappointment settled in. The celebration continued around you, but a subtle shift in the atmosphere made everything feel a bit less magical for you.
After about ten minutes of waiting, you couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that maybe you had shared too much, that Joel's concern had led to a sudden change in the dynamics of the evening. He may have felt pity for you and you debated whether to stay or make your way out, with a mix of vulnerability and disappointment.
With a heavy sigh, you decided to leave the party. The twinkling lights and cheerful laughter seemed to lose their polish as you made your way through the crowd toward the exit. Each step felt like a retreat, not just from the party but from the unexpected connection that had briefly sparked between you and Joel. But it seemed to be just in your imagination.
Once in the elevator, you decided to call it a night and head home, where the glow of your Christmas tree awaited.
Meanwhile, Joel couldn't get you to leave the party without saying goodbye. He felt a magnetic draw toward you, a want to be near you. He followed you outside, trusting his intuition, only to find you standing alone, staring at the city lights from the lobby. 
Joel paused for a beat before approaching you. As you glanced into the distance, looking deep in focus, the city lights shed a lovely glow on your face and he felt his heart squeeze at the sight.
"Hey," Joel said gently, breaking the silence. You turned to look at him, surprise and something he couldn't quite decipher in your eyes.
"I noticed you left without saying goodbye," he continued, his voice filled with a warmth that mirrored the glow of the soft light of the city.
You offered a small smile, "I thought you were busy. Didn't want to interrupt."
Joel shook his head, his gaze unwavering. "You're never an interruption, trust me. I was looking for you. Didn't want you to leave without a proper goodbye."
A quiet connection flowed between you two as you stood there. As Joel took a step closer, the city seemed to fade into the background, the space between you narrowing.
Joel's eyes moved up, and a soft laugh escaped him, as if on instinct. You followed his gaze to realize you were standing just beneath a mistletoe, hanging in the door of the lobby. 
He chuckled a genuine and welcoming sound that echoed through silence. "Well, would you look at that," he replied, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
You couldn't help but laugh along with him, the suddenness of the situation providing a magical touch to the night. The noise and bustle of the city appeared to vanish, leaving only the two of you standing beneath the mistletoe.
Joel took a deep breath, a vulnerability in his expression. "I've been trying to deny it, even to myself, but I can't ignore it any longer, you know?”
You listened closely, the air thick with anticipation. The city lights built a protective shell around you two, pointing out your fragility.
"I think I'm… kinda in love with you," Joel admitted, his voice echoing with devotion.
For a brief moment, time seemed to stand motionless. The revelation sat in the breeze, and you could feel the importance of his words. It was a confession that went beyond the cheerful mood of the night. It was a confession that contained a time of words held back. 
Joel's eyes were filled with both optimism and anxiety. "Would it be too forward if I asked to kiss you under the mistletoe?"
A soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you replied, "No, Joel, it wouldn't be too forward."
Joel leaned in, his eyes stuck on yours, under the soft glow of the city lights and the mute witnesses of the mistletoe, your lips touched in a tender kiss, and the world around you distorted.
Joel stared at you with pleasure and joy as you pulled away. "I've been wanting to do that for a while."
You laughed, your heart humming with new sensations. "The feeling is mutual."
"So, about tomorrow," Joel began, his voice soft, holding your face in his hands. "There's no way you're spending Christmas alone."
You looked at him, surprise in your eyes. "Joel, I appreciate it, but you don't have to—"
He gently interrupted, "No, I want to. Christmas is a time for love and joy, and I can't bear the thought of you spending it alone. If you're willing, I'd love for you to join me and my family for Christmas dinner."
The lights continued to twinkle around as Joel's gaze lingered on yours. A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes, and he leaned in once more. The soft press of his lips against yours sent a thrill through you, a continuation of the connection that had deepened under the mistletoe.
As he kissed you, his hands traveled from your face to your hands, interlocking your fingers. When he pulled away, a playful smile danced on Joel's lips. "Let's get out of here," he suggested, his hand still holding yours "I have better plans to spend the night."
Tumblr media
239 notes · View notes
gluion · 5 months ago
Text
serene (it’s what i hope for me) ➵ taesan
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
taesan (han dongmin) x reader
you should’ve known that taesan wouldn’t be the one.
genre/warnings ➵ angst, exes au, gender neutral reader, lowercase intended, shift between past and present to represent waves (hence the italics), the chilling realization of your suspicions always being right
word count ➵ 845 words
playlist ➵ california and me by laufey // you missed my heart by phoebe bridgers // oceans & engines by niki
a/n ➵ wrote this way back for eric, reread this drabble and rewatched niki's oceans & engines, and now i'm sobbing on the floor. mainly inspired by “california and me” by laufey. please listen to it! it genuinely resembles the feeling of ocean waves, hence the constant shift between past and present :3 and no, the ocean waves pics have no relation to this fic i just love ghibli aesthetics for the banner. i hope you all like this drabble! don’t forget to reblog and leave feedback!
Tumblr media
it’s not summer where you are, but you stand where the season lives; sand in between toes, sea meets the shore. you bask in the sunlight as you look at the expanse of blue while the breeze comes and goes.
it’s serene here, beautiful—but it’s lonely; not a single sight of another person here to appreciate where summer continues to live amidst all seasons.
“i’m sorry.” those are the words that first leave taesan’s mouth once you two arrive at the han river, the first words to confirm your suspicions of tonight.
you hold your breath. “w—what?” 
“i know, i—”
“did i do something wrong?” your glossy eyes shine like stars under the moonlight; you almost hope they’re enough for taesan to take those words back.
“no, no!” he attempts to reassure you but they’re meaningless after what he told you. “it’s not your fault. nothing is your fault.”
seagulls flap their wings, croaking out sounds of their whereabouts, finding their flock they may have been separated from. as you hear a similar sound in the distance, you watch the flock rush off.
the ocean runs to kiss the land every time it has to go, regardless of how long the two are kept away from each other. the deep blue rushes to bathe the pale cream, reassuring they will always return.
and while the beach is heaven on earth, you grow bitter. surrounded by instances of one coming back—choosing to reunite with the other—you wonder if that’ll ever happen to you.
“i—i could call you every night, or morning! maybe i can—”
“y/n, no,” he cuts you off. “we talked about this before, remember? we can’t do long distance, we’ve always hated it.”
your lips tremble. “you don’t even want to try?” 
silence settles between you two.
“i would try to make it work for us, but you wouldn’t?”
a sigh leaves him. his hand reaches to rub his temple. “but it wouldn’t be fair to us.”
your phone rings. you look at it to see your best friend calling, so you answer it, putting it against your ear.
“y/n, i have to tell you something.”
a chuckle leaves you. “i know.”
“huh? but how? he only posted that picture an hour ago,” sungho points out. “do you still follow his instagram?”
you only hum in disagreement.
“did you check his profile again?”
as you look down at your feet that’s consumed by the sand, a sigh leaves you.
“i thought we agreed to not look at his socials anymore! do we need to talk—”
“no, sungho,” you cut him off. “i didn’t look at any of his accounts.”
“then how do you know? you knew exactly what i was referring to. how?”
you close your eyes, letting the heat of the sun and the coolness of the breeze consume you whole. “i just know.”
you look away from taesan, allowing your eyes to take in the sight of the river stream continuously flow as it reflects the luminescence of korea—city lights and stars all together.
such a beautiful sight but such a shame that it’s been soiled by his words.
“you’re right,” you find yourself saying. “we’ve talked about it before, we could never survive in a long distance relationship.”
you look back at taesan. his go-to smile and the sparks in his eyes—all vanished in one night.
“i just wish we could.”
“i know. i do, too.”
your eyes peel open, greeted by the sight of the serene once more. you wish it could stay like this—tranquil, lasting.
“i hope you’re okay,” sungho says on the other line. “i’m sorry that this is happening.”
you bite the inside of your cheek. “it’s okay, i’ll be okay.” it sounds convincing to you but not to your best friend. “i’ll call you later, okay?”
he hums for a moment. “okay, i’m here for you.”
you drop the call. you stare at your home screen for a moment until you decide to open up instagram.
you shouldn’t be doing this, especially after sungho’s reminder, but your best friend's words have cracked the dam that held the water from pouring out.
you type his user like a password, discreetly, one you still know by heart.
in a matter of seconds, you see his profile pop up as a top suggestion. your thumb hovers over it, unsure if you should proceed or save yourself from reality. but you remember that it won’t change anything—nothing will change if you decide to look or not.
so you click on his profile, and your eyes land on the most recent post. from the preview in his profile grid, you already know that you were right. a bitter smile settles on your lips.
you shut your phone close and shove it into your pocket. your eyes land back to the ocean, glossy once more like that one night. it’s still a beautiful sight, but it’s a shame that it’s been soiled by one post.
in the same way the waves come and go, he always goes back to her.
Tumblr media
taglist ➵ @onedoornet @kflixnet
95 notes · View notes
prythianpages · 1 year ago
Text
ACOSM | The Night she played the violin for her Father
Tumblr media
azriel x rhysand's sister (oc)
warnings: angst
summary: Valeria has a violin solo that doesn't end as she had hoped. ft possessive Az
A/N: this is an imagine among my collection that follow Rhysand's sister, Valeria. while I'm still working on them, you can find the masterlist for it here. I was able to update this so quickly because I had already written this awhile back. I probably won't be able to update again until next weekend.
**
Valeria had never been nervous to perform. Music was second nature to her, it flowed through her veins. She loved it. She lived for it.
The announcement of her solo for the Night Court’s annual concert was exciting and thrilling. She had poured her heart into her audition, dedicating countless hours to perfecting her performance. The piece she performed was one composed by her grandmother.
It had brought those who were in the audience during the auditions to tears and the orchestra’s conductor had recognized the tune immediately. He was the one who told her the song was an ode her grandmother composed for her beloved son, Valeria’s father. One that many struggled to interpret and perform with the same emotion her grandmother would. Doubts of favoritism nagged at her, fearing she only secured the solo due to her family name. Yet, the orchestra’s genuine love and praise for her silenced those concerns. They were overjoyed to have her join them.
As the performance date drew near, the initial thrill morphed into a relentless anxiety, all due to the daunting prospect of her father’s attendance. She had casually reminded him a couple days prior and he had responded with a thoughtful hum–an interaction her heart clung to desperately.
Valeria had rehearsed her grandmother’s composition countless times after the audition. Every chord and note was etched in her heart. She was confident in her abilities yet, she could do nothing to ease her nerves. What if she was not good enough for the only person’s opinion she cared for?
She hated how much power her father had over her, the weight of his approval was heavy.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she reached to clasp her beloved necklace.
“Allow me.” A voice chimed in, startling her but her body relaxed under the familiar and warm touch.
“You’ve got to stop doing that.” Valeria exhaled as her gaze met Azriel’s through the reflection of her vanity’s mirror, referring to the way the dear shadowsinger had gotten into the habit of sneaking up on her.
Azriel shrugged with a smirk, his shadows swirling around him. “You left the balcony doors open.”
Valeria hummed in acknowledgement, realizing she had indeed left the doors to her balcony open. It had become an unspoken invitation between them–an open balcony meant Azriel was welcome, making his nightly visits easier with the assistance of his shadows. 
As Valeria remained uncharacteristically quiet, Azriel sensed her nerves. With a frown, he turned her around to face him. He grasped her smaller hands in his, noticing the blisters on her fingers as he gently held them.
She met his gaze, finding comfort in the way his hazel eyes radiated warmth and reassurance. “You’re going to do great today.” 
“What if he doesn’t show up?” Her bottom lip quivered, threatening to curve down into a frown.
“He’d be a fool not to.”
Valeria sighed, releasing her hands from his. “I should get dressed.”
“Why?” Azriel teased, his eyes raking over her form, barely covered by the thin and rather short night gown she wore. “I much prefer you like this…or with nothing at all.”
Valeria shot him a look. Her playful glare was overshadowed by the flutter of her heart against her chest. Judging by the smug look on Azriel’s face, she wondered if he could hear it.
Azriel’s shadows rose, the black tendrils undulating like a cat’s arching back, sensing someone’s approach.  Lady Yvaine. His eyes locked with Valeria’s curious one. His head inclined toward her door, a silent goodbye shared between them.
Before vanishing into the shadows, he gave a kiss to each of her cheeks, saving her lips for last.
Valeria was left blushing and flustered as her mother entered the room.
**
Valeria stood on the grand stage, her violin poised delicately in her grasp. The spotlight shined on her like the moon as she drew the bow across the strings. The first notes emerged, flowing seamlessly into the room.
Valeria’s eyes were closed for most of the performance, fearing to look at the audience and choosing to let the music absorb her completely instead. Her every movement was graceful, her passion intertwining with the melody she coaxed from her violin.
As the music surged, a tide of emotions rising and falling, she carried the audience on a mother's journey through joy, sorrow and love, unveiling a world of emotions that transcended words.
When the last note faded, Valeria slowly opened her eyes, her chest rising and falling in rhythm with the lingering emotions. A thunderous applause erupted as her eyes searched the audience. She found her mother, brother, Azriel and Cassian instantly, their wings standing out amongst the crowd. They, along with most of others, had risen to their feet.
Her eyes continued to scan the crowd in vain, searching for any glimpse of her father. But the one person she longed to see, dreamed to see among was the standing ovation was not there.
Her father had not come.
A wave of crushing disappointment washed over her, shattering something deep within so violently that she feared the entire audience could hear it. Her steps faltered backwards, tears welling in her eyes.
With a quick bow to the audience, she rushed behind the curtain and winnowed away, one singular thought echoing in her mind.
**
Worry washed over Rhysand as he witnessed the profound hurt etched across his sister’s face before she abruptly vanished from the stage. The audience around them were unaware of the shift in her face, attributing it to the emotion from her performance but Rhysand knew better.  He knew how much this performance meant to her and with each passing moment, he held onto hope that their father would eventually arrive. He turned to his mother, noting the shared look of concern.
“I need to go to her.” 
The words had slipped out of Azriel in a surge of concern that he forgot who was standing next to him.
Rhysand turned to Azriel, his gaze sharpening. There was something in the Shadowsinger’s tone that didn’t settle well with him. Something possessive, almost. Rhysand didn’t know what came over him next but he was stopping the Shadowsinger before he could disappear into his shadows.
“She’s my sister. My responsibility.” Rhysand firmly reiterated. “I’m going to find her.”
Azriel felt a burning sensation in his chest, causing his jaw to tense as he clutched the purple peonies he had picked for Valeria, the pressure making his knuckles turn white.
Cassian, sensing the tense energy between the two, moved himself into both of them. 
“We’re just worried too, Rhys.” Cassian said gently, extending both arms towards his brothers. “She’s like a sister to us…Right, Az?”
Azriel remained silent, though he made a conscious effort to relax. He could feel Valeria’s pain and wanted nothing more than to rush and soothe her.
Rhysand noted the silence but his priority was finding his sister so without another word, he winnowed away.
Azriel stilled when he felt Lady Yvaine’s hand at his shoulder. Her gaze was warm and loving as always, despite her concern over her daughter.  “Rhys will find her,” she reassured him with an ease that only a loving mother could provide.  “Do you and Cassian mind accompanying me back to the Moonstone palace?”
**
Valeria stood at the doors of her father’s office in the grand Moonstone palace. Her violin and bow were still clutched tightly in her trembling hands. She didn’t bother to knock, forcefully throwing the doors open with her powers. 
She had hoped to find him busy, drowning in his work and duties as High Lord. Her hope shattered into an overwhelming torrent of anger when she discovered him engaged in a casual round of chess with Keir. 
The words were bursting from her, charged with the weight of her dashed hopes. “Where were you?”
The High Lord remained fixated on the chessboard, seemingly uninterested in her presence, drawing a chuckle from Keir. Their indifference only fueled her burning rage. “Can’t you see? We’re in the middle of something,” her father replied, dismissing her without a glance.
“You said you’d be there–”
“I promised nothing.” His tone cut through her like a blade.
“I practiced so much.”
Tears blurred Valeria’s vision as her hands, singed with pain from the blisters, clutched the violin and bow fiercely. Her voice shook with emotion, the words she wanted to add–"for you”--hovering on the edge of her lips. Fear and anguish held them back.
It was Keir who looked up from their chess game, casting a mocking glance her way. “As expected.”
She glared at Keir but her attention quickly turned back to her father. Though she knew she should leave before things escalated, she was too overwhelmed by her hurt to turn away.
“I spent these past six months trying to meet your high expectations. I listened. I obeyed. I kept my mouth shut. I–I did everything I could to be the perfect daughter. I thought you’d be proud…”
It was then that the High Lord, her father, lifted his gaze, finally acknowledging her presence. His cold violet eyes met hers and with his next words, he shattered the remaining pieces of her heart completely.
“Proud?” His voice was laced with an incredulous tone that mocked her. “Over you doing what is expected of you? Over you learning how to play a mere instrument?”
Both the High Lord and Keir shared a look, chuckling darkly.
“That is no reason to be proud, you child.”
 His voice was venomous as he reduced to her nothing and she recoiled back at the sting.
“Daughters,” Keir said, rolling his eyes. “Always so entitled. It’s why sons are preferred.”
“If that is all,” her father said as he returned his attention back to their game of chess. “Then you may leave before you cost me this game.”
**
Valeria ran to her place of solace within the Moonstone palace–the moon gardens. It was only once she confirmed that she was alone that she released the tears in her eyes, allowing them to run down her heated cheeks.
Her violin and bow were still in her hands and at that moment, she hated them. All the blood, sweat and tears she had poured into her performance… She had been praised and applauded by her audience but she hated how the absence of her father’s presence reduced her hard work into nothing.
But this hurt went beyond her performance.
Valeria had exhausted herself over the past couple of six months to gain her father’s approval. When he had suggested she return to her etiquette classes, she did so with no hesitation. When she noticed he had a keen appetite for strawberries, she had baked the most delicious strawberry tarts for breakfast the following morning. When marriage had been brought up, she even humored the idea, despite her heart already having been claimed by another.
Everything she did was delicately crafted to ensure that she was worthy of being his daughter. Although her father was still not aware of her secret training sessions with the Valkyries, her practice became lacking as she shifted to activities that might please her father instead. The only sliver of happiness she allowed herself was her secret relationship with Azriel.
She was not happy with all these changes, but she did so for the High Lord, her father. She had desperately clung to their shared love for music–hoping that it would be the last piece of the puzzle to appeal to him.
Yet it meant nothing to him. She meant nothing to him.
Valeria threw her bow to the floor and stomped on it with her foot until it was also reduced to nothing. Nothing but broken pieces of wood and string. She felt as if she wasted her time with the instrument. Her violin went next. She raised it with both hands before slamming it down against the floor. It broke into two jagged halves at the impact. She directed her hands toward the pieces, using her powers to destroy it further. She didn’t stop until her violin was completely just as shattered as her heart was.
She didn’t even register the presence of another until she felt hands on her face.
Valeria blinked the tears away, finding a worried Rhysand right in front of her. Her breaths were heavy and jagged as the pieces of wood beneath her feet. Rhysand kept his hands on her face, his eyes searching her face and body in search of any injury. 
“Nothing I do is ever good for him.” She sniffled. “It is literally impossible to please him.”
“Val, I’m so sorry.” Rhysand’s voice was soft and full of compassion and when he confirmed that there were no physical injuries, he let out a small exhale and pulled Valeria into his arms.
“I don’t know why I care so much anymore.” She admitted, burying her head into her brother’s chest. “But it hurts, Rhys. I hate and fear him at the same time.”
And then the tears were falling again as she began to sob uncontrollably. Her tears drenched his shirt as his hold on her tightened. He rested his chin on top of her head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered once more, uncertain of the right words to console her.
Rhysand held her until her cries and sobs gradually came to a stop. When he pulled away, he led her to sit with him at the edge of a grand fountain in the heart of the gardens. After a deep exhale, Valeria spoke.
“You can light a candle and he’d be proud of you.” 
 There was envy in her tone but no trace of anger or resentment directed toward him
 “I can light a candle and he’d scold me for my candle being too dim.” She let out a humorless chuckle. “Even though it would be just as bright as yours.”
Rhysand frowned and said nothing, acknowledging her words. He hated the truth of the situation as much as she did. She turned her body to face forward. Her violet eyes were distant as she continued.
“I excel in everything I set my mind to but somehow, it’s never enough. I have to reach out and find my place as the High Lord’s daughter but never forget my place as an Illyrian woman. I have to always be grateful for keeping my wings unclipped but never forget how quickly they can be taken away. I have to be strong but I cannot train. I can never be rude, never be selfish, never show fear.”
Valeria let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and Rhysand’s heart broke. He knew his sister had been hurting for a while but he failed to realize the depth of her suffering all these years.
“I am always doing something wrong and somehow, it’s always my fault. I’ve been a failure since birth for something I had no control over. I should’ve just not been bor–”
“Oh, my sweet child.” Her mother’s voice interrupted, refusing to let her finish that sentence. She approached her children, kneeling before Valeria and coaxing her gaze to meet hers. “You’ve been nothing but a treasure and joy since birth.”
“I almost killed you.” Valeria spoke in a soft, subdued tone, her eyes reflecting that flicker of guilt she always carried with her. She had caused her mother so much pain at birth–something her father never failed to remind her of. “And the reason you can’t bear him another son.”
Lady Yvaine was shaking her head in protest, frowning slightly. She wiped the tears from Valeria’s face. “I give thanks to the Mother and Cauldron for your existence every day.”
She grasped both Rhysand’s and Valeria’s hands into her own, rubbing soothing circles onto the back of them. Warmth emanated from her brown eyes, filled with deep admiration for the children she had brought into this world. Her wings unfurled behind her, enveloping them in a motherly embrace as a radiant smile graced her face. 
“You two are enough for me. You mean everything to me and I love you both so much. Don’t you ever forget that.”
“We never will.” Rhysand finally spoke. “We love you so much.”
Valeria felt a flooding warmth in her heart. Her father may not love her as she yearned for but she was not alone. She had her doting mother and brother. They were enough.
She would no longer live beholden to her father’s expectations. She decided she was going to follow her own path to happiness, where she would live life for herself.
**
tag list:  @justrepostandlove , @kemillyfreitas, @thelov3lybookworm
A/N: sorry this one didn't have much of Az and Val but this is a pivotal point in Val's life. The last couple of imagines are building up to the storyline I have planned. But you got to see a glimpse of possessive Az and a suspicious Rhys lol.
idk if y'all are DPR Ian fans but he just released a song called "violet crazy" and I feel like it's a song that matches Val and Az so well. I added it to the playlist I made here. I listened to Billie Eilish's "what was I made for?" a lot while writing this as this imagine was inspired by the monologue in the Barbie movie.
202 notes · View notes
miffysrambles · 1 year ago
Note
hey, can i request wukong and macaque (sep) comforting a chubby reader (fem if possible) who often remember her past and the bullying she suffered? like a scenario where they find her looking at the mirror with a bitter face
Wukong and Macaque With a Chubby! Fem! S/O
(I'm plus-sized myself so this hit close to home :'3)
You undressed into your bra and underwear as you had gotten home, gripping the chub on your waist as you looked down at your torso. You had always been a bit chubbier than others and being in public today reminded you of that, you hated these days.  You have felt like this for quite some time now, it’s just something you deal with. But that doesn’t mean the thoughts banging in your head didn’t bother you. They would say things belittling you and your body, saying what you could do to make yourself thinner. You knew these thoughts were caused by real voices from your past, the things they would say to you were deafening as they boomed in your ears. You sighed as you finally looked up to meet your face, a look of pure bitterness and hatred reflected off the glass. You were so focused on your self-loathing that you didn’t notice your monkey boyfriend standing the the doorway of your bedroom.
Wukong:
Tumblr media
Wukong had walked into the room with a smile on his face to greet you after being out all day, he was about to walk up to you to give you hugs and kisses when he stopped in his tracks to see you grimacing at your reflection.
His eyebrows furrowed upwards as he slightly parted his lips, “You ok sunshine?”
You jumped as you turned your head to see your partner, putting up a fake smile as you nodded.
“Yep, just getting changed for bed Wukong!”
He knew this was a fake response, he knew your genuine smile like the back of his hand.
The way you practically lit up with a twinkle in your eye, oh it’s something he strived to see daily.
He walked up to you and caressed your face with his thumb, a look of loving concern made your stomach do flips.
“Hey, it’s okay if you’re not. I’m not gonna force you to talk to me, that won’t do any good, but I want to help any way I can.”
You leaned your cheek into his grasp as you sighed, “It’s one of those days… You know, the one’s where my head won’t shut up about my body… Some of the voices are things I’ve heard from old peers and those hurt the most…”
As you described what people have said to you in the past, his heart broke.
How could anybody say such awful things to you, his peaches?
His eyes softened more, smiling slightly to comfort you as he kissed your temple.
“Oh peaches, those days suck huh?”
You nodded, “So much it hurts…”
He wrapped his arms around your waist as he held you close, “I’m sorry they hurt, if it makes a difference I love your body just the way it is. I wouldn’t change a thing about ya’.”
You smiled as you kissed him on the lips, finally getting what he came into the room for, ‘It does, thank you.”
Tumblr media
Macaque:
Tumblr media
(I have a personal HC that Macaque loves plus-sized/chubby people hehe)
Macaque was following you through your shadow as you arrived home, looking for an opportunity to give you a light surprise as he told you he was gonna be held up at work tonight. 
(He had done this in the past and you both knew it was all good fun).
He was stopped however when you looked at your reflection with a repulsed look, making him back away as your shadow on the wall with a concerned look, rising from a portal in the doorway.
“M-Macaque? I thought you were gonna be home late tonight!” Your frigid voice asked him, you were clearly on the verge of tears.
A mix of concern and understanding was on his face as he approached you, “They let me go early, the play was rescheduled…” 
He took hold of your hands as he looked down at your interlocked fingers, “This isn’t the first time this has happened huh?”
You nodded slightly as he kissed the back of your hands, “Not even close…”
“Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked, not wanting to overstep your boundaries because he knew exposing your feelings takes a lot of mental strength.
“Just voices from my past booming in my head, y’know like run-of-the-mill bullies in school…” You described what you went through as a child, making his eyebrows furrow and his nose scrunch up in anger.
Just knowing you were in pain from other people, even if it was in the past enraged him.
He sighed as calmed down, helping you feel better even if for a second was his top priority.
He trailed soft kisses up your arm to your cheek, “I love your body because it’s you sweet cheeks. I love everything about you, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I know that won’t change the thoughts going through your head but it’s a start right?” He pulled his lips away from your cheek as he smiled, making your cheeks flush as you smiled and laughed at his displays of affection.
He nuzzled his nose into your neck, making you laugh again from the ticklish sensation.
“There she is, that’s my girl." He chuckled as he kissed your cheek once again. 
180 notes · View notes
whumpsoda · 8 months ago
Note
creeps in what if Nevan feels ugly and Adrastus personally takes him aside and thralls the behavior into blissful oblivion—it’s the only time they’ve stepped in on giving Nevan an actual permanent order/influence rather than just temporary stuff
WOHEO Masterlist
cw: hypnosis, conditioning, self degradation, intimate whumper
———————————————————————
“And what might you be doing?”
Nevan jumped, turning to find his second vampire owner heading down the hall in his direction, a joyous smile strung across their lips. Their tone was playful, yet didn’t fail to hitch his nerves.
“I… I, um…” he stumbled, catching himself staring as they sauntered up, and shifting his gaze to the floor. He did his best to compose his scattered thoughts, gesturing to the wall beside him. “Just… just looking. At myself.”
“Aw, at your pretty little face?” Adrastus cooed, gazing alongside him into the reflection of a mirror, sweetly pinching his cheek.
Nevan smiled back, expression forced and failing to meet his eyes. “I… I guess…”
“You guess?”
“Well, um…” What was he doing? He shouldn’t have even stopped, taking time away from his household work, and then daring to annoy them with his meager problems. Stupid, stupid, stupid. “I’m, I’m sorry Master, I’ll continue my chores, my apologies for… for getting distracted.”
Before he could scamper off, they caught him with a hand to his shoulder. “Hey.” They turned him back their way, pressing another palm to the other arm, keeping him from fleeing. “Darling, remember what I told you?”
“Remember…” his words became tainted with that of a hazy quality as he attempted to recall the memory, mind dazing by even the subtlest of their pleasant touch.
Of course, Adrastus already knew he was far too dumb to remember on his own. “You tell Master what’s on your mind or if anything is the matter, alright? Understand?”
“Tell… Master…” he mumbled, brain liquifying as he so easily slipped back into the trance they had previously held him in.
“Yes, dear.”
But he couldn’t tell them. What if they thought it was dumb, or they got upset for him worrying them with something so meaningless? Nevan couldn’t bear to get them upset. “Um… I suppose… I just…”
“Take your time, baby. I will gladly wait.” They assured, shining that heart warming, sweet grin of theirs that pulsed bliss through his brain.
“It’s just… my master always says how pretty I look… an’ how nice my features are… Malak, uh, Malak even said… so…” Why was it so hard to say? The words refused to leave his lips, his cheeks flushing with embarrassed heat. “But…”
“Go on.” The pressed.
One more time, he took a glance into the mirror. Staring into his own eyes, taking note of every feature and blemish.
Nevan bit his lip. “He tells me all that… but I don’t feel very pretty.”
Then, their face dropped.
He couldn’t look. He’d definitely upset them, they were probably so angry. “I’m, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He cried, the beat of his heart picking up pace and jumping inside his chest.
He’d disagreed with his master, and they were going to hurt him, he just knew it.
After a beat of silence and no response, no violence, he peeked a look at the vampire.
Their face was contorted into that of a genuine pout, eyes welling up. Almost as if they were going to cry. “Oh, love… how dreadful.”
“I’m, I’m sorry.” He stuttered, tears pricking at his own eyes as well. “I’m so sorry, Master. I don’t mean to be so bad.”
Adrastus shook their head. “Oh no, baby. Don’t you apologize for that, there is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for.” The grip of their hands only hardened, clutching to his arms. The touch felt good.
“I’m sorry that you would ever feel such a way.” They whispered.
After a minute of deep quiet, Adrastus took a long and thick breath, returning their composure and wiping the moisture from their eyes.
“Just calm, okay? Relax. Everything’s just fine. No reason to get so worked up.” They soothed, almost as if more so to themself than Nevan. Taking the chance to pacify the thrall themself, Adrastus hit him with a singular magical wash of bliss that fizzled out any distress in one sigh of air.
As his vision turned glassy, he meet their caring gaze that fluttered saccharine in his belly. “Now, Nevan. Listen to me.”
“Mmm… hmmm…?” He hummed, brain liquifying to ooze as they churned sensations of pleasure throughout him.
“Sweet, you are utterly beautiful inside and out. Absolutely and completely gorgeous.” Their tone was kind and mellow, mollifying to his ears. Easy for him to digest. “Repeat that for me, okay?”
“Nevan… ‘s beau… beautifulll…” he slurred, recognizing at least a bit of the speech as his lips faintly upturned. “Gorgeousss…”
“You think so too, don’t you? You do, Nevan.” The words flipped through his mind, soaked up like a sponge and plastered to the walls of his head. They said so, so he thought so.
“Think… too…”
“Only bad, naughty boys think such terrible thoughts. You want to be a good boy. Good boys think nice, happy thoughts about themselves. Nevan thinks pleasantly about himself.”
They were right. Adrastus was always right. Nevan wanted to be a good boy. And if good boys thought good things… then he would too. Simple as that. “Nice… thoughts…”
They patted him to the cheek, and as the contact lingered he nuzzled into their fingers. “Good, good boy. Such an alluring, ravishing boy. Simply fetching.”
Nevan couldn’t help but giggle, his usual, dopey smile returning. “Fetch… fetching…”
“Yes, darling. Don’t you ever forget it, alright?”
Nevan nodded along, eagerly. “Yes… no… forget…”
“If you ever begin to forget, come right to master, okay? But always know that you are no short of bewitching, love. Do not allow anyone to tell you otherwise.”
Before they finished, Adrastus leaned in for a moment, voice softening, hushed and low. “Not even Master Darius.”
“Oh… ‘kay…”
Fingers washed down his frame until they lingered at his knuckles, the vampire brushing in circular motions over his skin with soft thumbs. “Now look back at that charming face in the mirror. Magnificent, isn’t he?”
This time, as Nevan met with himself, he only beamed brighter. “Mhm… yeah…”
They filled his mind with glee as they gave him a similar look of satisfaction. Oh, how he loved them.
“I am so very glad you agree.”
———————————————————————
Taglist- @softvampirewhump @iys-cloud @battyfantasy @xx-adam-xx @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @mylifeisonthebookshelf
If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)
69 notes · View notes
yuurivoice · 2 months ago
Note
Hi Yuuri I just wanted to say I miss Howell. That’s all I hope you have a good day😊
I do too! There's still a lot about him I want to know and figure out. I was able to delve into him a bit more (and get some much needed closure) with some friends. I don't think he's really a character that I want to do various iterations of in different worlds and campaigns, because it's that specific story of his that I love. If it's removed from that world and story, I'd rather have another shot at a new character.
I was able to salvage a couple of relationships out of the rubble from the entire ordeal surrounding TnD, and I've got no beef with anyone who wasn't literal human trash, so Howell's place in my heart is unscathed in terms of being attached to a really shitty time and situation.
Reflecting on those days, that shit was a nightmare scenario. Obviously my own emotional turmoil pales in comparison to the literal criminal and victim in our midst, don't get that twisted because those most directly impacted by one asshole's actions should be the primary concern. It is a hell of a pill to swallow having something that dear to you go up in flames in such a public and grotesque way.
I don't blame anyone who feels any type of way about how it was handled and the aftermath of it. The truth of it all is, one person's really fucked up actions had widespread effects on a lot of people. The radius of that bomb was no joke.
Howell is very dear to me, and those Sundays were genuinely the favorite day of the week for me over that time. The backlash, anger, resentment, and then emptiness of it all really took its toll, as I'm sure it did on everyone caught in the blast zone.
The bad guy got got in the end, and I'm thankful for the folks who made sure that happened.
That year as a whole was really difficult. That wasn't the only heavy thing I had to work through that year. There was a stretch of six months that were probably the worst of my adult life in terms of interpersonal turmoil. The universe really took a bat to my kneecaps.
Saying ALLLLLLLL of that to say, if I had lost my love for Howell, it would have taken a significant toll on me creatively. I would not so freely share the parts of myself it takes to create the stories and characters I do now. I can pretty confidently say that something like Echoes or Shattered would never happen.
I struggled mightily with BitterSweet Chapter 3 for that reason. It was hard to want to carve out pieces of myself to share with the world, and certainly very difficult to work with anyone else out of fear that their bad actions could rob me of my passion even more.
But I learned a lot, and over that time I also think I was able to show my community how serious situations get handled while I'm at the helm. I hate that me and the team have been on the frontlines of a few really serious community PR nightmares, but I do think we've been able to exhibit an ability to treat things with maturity, respect, and direct action.
So Howell means a lot to me. We've been on two journeys, one fictional, and one real...and boy we've gotten our asses kicked more than a few times.
There is a chance, albeit a small one, that there's a DnD story to be told with Howell and some friends, for the world to partake in. Don't know if it'll happen, but the chances aren't 0%...
35 notes · View notes
asuyaka · 2 months ago
Note
Hiii, it's kind of a weird request so I totally understand if you ignore
Would you mind writing fluff with some comfort for Dazai with a trans male reader (ftm), when the reader is very transphobic (only) towards himself, because he doesn't want to be this way cause it's not something 'socially accepted?' the reader is rather chameleonic n generally cares a lot about how he's seen and if he fits in, going as far to change his whole way of acting based on who he's talking with or when he can't mirror someone's personality putting on a charismatic, playful, talkative facade. (Basically a social3 in detail but not manipulative if u know that term) because of his desire to climb social ladder and massive fear of lacking social acceptance, he tries to gaslight himself into thinking he's cisgender most of the time, which only makes him feel worse?? The 'all I want you to do is give me all of your love&applause and for return I'll be whoever you want me to be' type of performer.
Sorry for being picky but please don't write the reader as a submissive scared little thing that can't be assertive at all I hate that in comforts I beg u
★ - this hits so close t'home cause 've always struggled with my gender identity n'stuff then I realized there's a buncha labels, too many f'me to care about ! *^__^*
☆ - Dazai Osamu x FtM Reader!
♡ - really hope I wrote him well f'ya anon ! O(∩_∩)O | CW: copious amounts of misgenderin' (she/her & terms like 'girlfriend are used for the first half, please be warned !!) & transphobic language !
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Name] looked at his her the outfit in the mirror, a black body con dress with a slit that ran up [Name]'s thigh.
The longer [Name] stared at the reflection the more an urge to throw up formed. Dazai would be the door for their date, and every dress [Name] tried didn't sit right.
They were either too tight, not tight enough, too short, too long, or too boxy— the point was nothing worked.
It didn't matter if [Name] put on a skirt or a crop top, they made everything feel worse to the point [Name] wanted to call the date off, but that would make her a bad girlfriend, and she wanted to be good.
The doorbell rang. "Babe? You haven't answered your phone, are you okay?"
[Name] groaned and opened the door. Dazai glanced over her outfit with wide eyes. "Wow. Uh, nice dress, but what's the occasion?"
[Name]'s eyebrow raised. "What do you mean? I always wear dresses."
Dazai walked into [Name]'s apartment and plopped onto the couch. "No, you don't. You told me you hate dresses and skin-tight clothes."
She glared at her boyfriend, a deep frown on her face before scoffing. "Okay, well, I like them now. Girls like dresses anyway."
The brunette paused his actions and stared. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
[Name] rolled her eyes. "What did I say?"
"You're joking, right? You aren't a girl— I asked you out because you're a man, and I wanted a boyfriend."
Boyfriend.
The title made [Name]'s heart well, like a warm blanket draped over her body. It didn't cause that sick, gut-wrenching feeling like 'girlfriend' but they weren't a boy.
They couldn't be a boy.
[Name] gulped thickly. "...I'm not a tranny, Dazai. What would my coworkers think? My parents? I can't— I was born a girl, Dazai, I shouldn't... feel this way."
Osamu gently holds [Name]'s hands. "Baby, what are you talking about? You've always been my boyfriend, you being born a woman doesn't change that."
"But I... it's— Osamu, it's not right. If I act too masculine, I could lose my job and have my neighbors hate me, but I fucking hate having to act like somethin' I'm not." [Name] sniveled, wiping his cheeks at tears that began to form.
Dazai guided his boyfriend to the couch and cupped his cheek. "You shouldn't have to change yourself to make other people happy. You're my boyfriend, the only boy in the world I've genuinely loved, and I don't want to see you destroy yourself for the better of someone else—people who don't even know you."
"If you lose your job for being you, then you could work with me. I'm sure Boss wouldn't mind having a new employee."
With a gentle kiss, Osamu chuckled. "And I'd finally get some work done so I can relax with my perfect boyfriend in the world."
[Name] sniffed as his boyfriend pressed another kiss on his wet cheek. "...is it 'cause you're lazy?"
"Eh... not lazy, just... working smarter and not harder!"
"Not working at all doesn't count, Osamu."
Dramatically, Dazai held a hand to his chest and rolled on the floor. "Woe is me! My boyfriend keeps bullying me even after I call him perfect! What do I do?"
He lightly laughed and placed a soft hand on Osamu's hair. "Maybe take him on a date?"
The brunette immediately sat on his knees with sparkles in his eyes. "He still wants to go with me?"
[Name] kissed Dazai's forehead and smiled. Even with the thoughts swirling in his head, Osamu always had a way to make him feel better. "He'd be delighted to go on a date with you."
52 notes · View notes
yikessmicah · 9 months ago
Text
bloodweave
heres some bloodweave brainrot copy pasted directly from my priv twitter bc i was going insane at like 3am last night
// tw mention/brief discussion of astarion and gale's trauma, including sexual trauma. ill highlight it red so you can read the rest if youd like while avoiding the triggering part.
also obvious spoilers for part of astarion and gale's personal stories/quests.
AND DISCLAIMER this is my opinion and straight up brainrot u can ship whoever u want in bg3 idc <3
-----
sorry im having bloodweave brainrot because out of everyone in the camp i think gale Would be the objectively best match for astarion to be in a successful relationship with.
he wouldn't push him to do anything (tho i dont think any of the companions would, but ykwim) and since gale has his own form of relationship and sexual trauma (the fact mytsra groomed him since he was Literally a child and was only ever intimate with him on the astral plane therefore he's never had real physical human touch and intimacy) it would be overwhelming for him too!!
hed WANT to take it slow, he'd WANT to be as accomodating and like. he also has something on his body that represents his trauma the same way astarion does!! astarion has his scars and gale has the orb tattoo on his chest. i also think just. astarion's whole life as a spawn was only surrounded by people he Hated talking to. people who would spit insults and berate him, treat him like he was pathetic and disgusting - but gale? gale of waterdeep who never fucking shuts up?
gale of waterdeep who would gladly wake up and immediately shower him with compliments using words astarion had never even heard before? gale who would would describe astarion's features for him re: him not being able to see his reflection in such words and with such ease that eventually astarion starts to *like* the fact he doesnt have a reflection?
gale of waterdeep who would spend every waking moment of his day - that he wasnt spending talking to or being with astarion - working on a way to cure astarion of his vampirism or at Least a way for him to walk in the sun?
GALE OF WATERDEEP . who would gladly and without fucking question give up touching astarion ever again if he told him to?
gale of waterdeep who would answer every question astarion had? who would comfort his every dark thought?
gale of fucking waterdeep who would CARE for astarion so fucking well that he would genuinely start believing and KNOWING !!! he was worthy of love.
gale of FUCKING !! WATEDEEP !! who would vow to never shut up again if thats what helped astarion deal with the memories of sitting alone in a dungeon for months or YEARS at a time at the hands of cazador (not that that would be particularly hard with how me he talks already /pos).
gale who would gladly give up ever seeing the sun again and completely flipping his sleep schedule if it meant being able to walk the streets with astarion safely.
gale who would truly and wholly give nothing but his honest and real self. bare and beaten but NOT broken. show that astarion was the same. not broken. not something to be "fixed". simply something - SOMEONE - that needed to be guided a little. simply someone that needed safety.
gale of waterdeep who would do anything for his blood to taste sweet for astarion again. so he wouldnt have to fear where his next meal was going to come from. so astarion would never have to sink his teeth into a beast - let alone a sewer rat - ever again. never again would he let him have to hunt criminals in the night through the streets Alone. EVER AGAIN!!!
gale of waterdeep who would give up sleep to be by astarion's side as much as he could (since hes human and astarion is an elf). i just. he would do anything for him. Truly Anything.
gale of waterdeep who would wait weeks, months, YEARS - CENTURIES. if that's how much time it took for astarion to say i love you back. gale would say it 300 times a day and not once would it ring with the exigency of needing him to say it back.
gale....
71 notes · View notes
sunshine-on-marz · 1 year ago
Text
You are in love
Spencer Reid x reader (song fic)
@st4rgzer thanks for the idea hun!!
Tumblr media
One look, dark room. Meant just for you
“Are you ok Spence?” Your voice shook him from his trance “yea. I’m fine.” He smiles, that same little smile you’d grown to love so much
Time moved too fast. You play it back
You looked magical. Excitedly explaining your weekend to Morgan. “What are we talking about?” Spencer asks softly, he didn’t want to interrupt but he knew he needed to be apart of the conversation or he’d go insane. You smile and start your story from the top, this is Spencer’s idea of perfection in a person.
Buttons on a coat. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough
Spencer looked out of it. You hadn’t shown up to work that day and Hotchner wouldn’t say why. You weren’t answering anyone’s calls either. Emily walked over to his desk. “Go check on Y/N for me, will you Spencer?” She winks “I’ll take care of Hotch. Just go check on her” Spencer nods, practically running out of the office.
Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough
He’d knocked on your door at 5 in the afternoon, it was currently 12. You were in his car, on the way to his house. You’d told him you needed a mental health day. “I’m worried about you” is all he’d said back. “You probably should be” you didn’t mean to sound as desperate as you did, but your voice cracked when you said it. Before you knew it he was in the doorway of your bedroom as you packed a bag with something to wear in the morning. He’d practically begged you to come stay with him, but truth be told you didn’t want to be alone just as bad he wanted you to be with him. He pointed a bit, gesturing through the windshield to the moon. “It’s pretty” you say, he hums. There’s something behind his tone, but nothing you plan on focusing on, not right now.
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love
His heart was racing, he slowly reached over and interlocked his fingers with yours. You don’t say anything, just squeeze his hand with your own.
Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word. And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.
You’d figured he was lying when he said neither of your would work the next day. But he held true, you woke up at 11 to Spencer in the kitchen panicking a bit. “What’s wrong Spence?” You giggled from the sofa. “Burned breakfast” he mumbles. And you genuinely laugh for the first time in what feels like days. You walk over to him, silently, and hugged him. “Let’s go get something then” you smile.
You kiss on sidewalks
The walk to the bakery was short, but it was nice, his hand in yours, until he stops. “Hey Y/N?” He says softly “hi Spencer” you smile “can I kiss you?” He asked, his hand detangling from yours to find its place cupping your cheek, you nod. As his lips touch yours, it isn’t fireworks, but you didn’t expect it to be. It was gentle and quiet and soft. No part of loving Spencer Reid was an explosion, all of it was peace.
You fight and you talk
You two did fight sometimes, like all couples do, but fighting with Spencer is different. The two of you fight with the desperation you had to get together. You want it to end so you can be hopelessly in love with each other, and put back on the rose colored glasses that feel so heavy when they slide off the bridge of your nose. Every fight ends the same, crying and apologizing until someone’s asleep or laughing. That was the beauty of it.
One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says “You're my best friend”. And you knew what it was. He is in love
As you lay in his bed next to him, his half asleep face graced with a small smile as you run your fingers through his hair. “You’re gorgeous Spencer” you smile. “You’re the best thing in my life, you’re my best friend Y/N” he says, kissing your hand which had moved from his hair to his jaw. “Really?” You ask, your eyes tell a different story, your eyes flickering from his lips to the rest of his face, fruitlessly trying to read between the lines of what he’d said. “I’m in love with you Y/N. I want you to be more than just my best friend”. That was it. You can hear it in the silence, silence, you run your fingers up his jaw, stopping at the nap of his neck, gently pressing to make him move forward. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you remember it so vividly, they way he’d looked as he drove you to his place for the first time, now you know what that look meant. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. He gently pulls you against him, kissing you as he does. “Will you be my girlfriend?” He asks. You nod.
You are in love, true love
Tumblr media
This was so freaking fun I wanna do more holy crap I love song fics
88 notes · View notes
mynonclicheblog · 1 year ago
Text
One final Never Have I Ever love triangle thematic analysis
I've said this in one of my posts before, but the narrative is always going to favor what is best for Devi. A lot of what makes this show so juicy to dive into is because so much of its meaning is rooted in symbolism and higher concepts, not just the individual interactions you're looking at onscreen!
I think that's what doesn't work for some (not all) pro-Dxton anti-Ben folks. They see Paxton being respectful and kind to Devi, they see that he's the attractive object of her desire from day 1, and they see that the two of them genuinely do connect and help each other in certain ways. But when these same people look at Benvi, they only see Ben making obnoxious comments to Devi (+ others), they see childish behavior and mistakes being made, and they see them frequently butting heads due to their shared competitive nature.
And honestly? I get it. These conclusions are easy to come to when you're looking at the surface, but they don't take into account the full story that's being told.
Let's get into it. 😎👇
So I mentioned the idea of what is best for Devi. Not what is best for any regular person out there -- what is best for Devi Vishwakumar! Our girl expresses in no uncertain terms that she enjoys her hypercompetitive rivalry-turned-bond with Ben ("Ben's smart and we talk- mostly argue- for hours!" // "I don't want to break up with Ben. He really pushes me.") The fact that they fight and compete is not a detriment to their compatibility, it is actually the thing that makes him most desirable in her mind. She would not have wanted to be with him in the first place if this were not true. Their sharp-tongued communication style may not be the standard picture of a 'healthy' relationship for most people, but, well. Devi and Ben are far from most people.
Devi is an incredibly emotional, dynamic person who's always searching for another high. The competitive nature of her relationship with Ben is enough to satisfy her itch for novelty/excitement (her differences with Paxton don't hit this box), yet Ben's presence also provides a comforting long-term consistency in her life. He's seen the very best and the very worst of her and he always comes back. He frequently brings Devi back to herself, too, when she loses sight of what matters (friendships, family, sense of self, her goals, etc).
Then there's the dream vs. reality dichotomy that very much applies to this love triangle. Simple as it may be, it's accurate. I believe it was built that way on purpose because of how well it reflects Devi's relationships to Mohan and Nalini, which is the beating heart of what NHIE is all about. One (Mo/Pax) is more outwardly palatable than the other and provides an easygoing, self-soothing escapism that she needs in order to work through her grief. This person represents youth and the rose-colored past; Devi's tendency to idealize and indulge. The other person (Nal/Ben) is sharper around the edges, a bit harder to swallow, but pushes Devi to do better and supplies the support she needs. This person represents Devi's grounded reality; her time in the present and the woman she is growing into.
They are both important pieces in Devi's journey, but the themes of past vs present speak for themselves. The past is something we keep close to our heart- in this case, it's someone who has impacted us that we'll always carry with us. But the ultimate goal is to move forward from that. The central relationship of Never Have I Ever, in my opinion, is that of Devi & Nalini as they heal and grow together. In terms of Devi's romantic life, her relationship with Ben is the one that more closely shadows the series arc between her & Nalini.
I'd like to address some things by the individual season now. One of my observations watching s1 for the first time was that Paxton was usually aligned with bad things in Devi's life, whereas Ben was aligned with the good. e.g., Paxton was in some way the source of Devi's falling outs with El/Fab and Nalini; Ben is the one who repaired those relationships. These things aren't Paxton's fault, nor do I place any blame on him. They're just subtle narrative choices that send up unspoken flags saying, hey look, this isn't the right person for her. This theme was left behind in s1 for the most part, but given that it was NHIE's debut season, it planted several seeds for me about who the boys were for Devi and how they fit into her world.
Season 2 does a lot to sort out the difference in what Devi thinks she wants (Paxton) and what her heart truly wants (Ben). Yes, I'm going there, too: head vs heart. Devi's underlying preference for Ben > Paxton should be easy to spot as early as 2x01 -- if only for the fact that Devi finally bagged the hot guy of her dreams, and yet, choosing to be with him isn't easy for her. In fact, as both Devi and Eleanor confirm later, she wanted to choose Ben in the first place. Like... that is crazy when you think about it!!! Despite all the pieces falling into place for her and Paxton, and against her friends' shallow advice, she decides that she won't let go of Ben. Instead, she makes the misguided decision to date both. This isn't the kind of mistake she'll ever make again. It isn't Devi acting out because of Ben -- it signals a profound attachment to him when, all things considered, picking Paxton should have been a no brainer. That revealed everything I needed to know in order to understand that being with Paxton wasn't what she wanted in her heart of hearts.
Then, of course, 3x10 brings that all home with the stomach knots comparison. It tells us that, ever since Devi and Paxton moved into a place of genuine friendship, with him no longer on a pedestal, those romantic feelings (esp. on her part) have dissipated. As a bonus, Devi even explicitly states that Paxton was a dream! Ben, however -- her flawed reality -- is the one who still gives her butterflies. This is the result of Devi's slow awakening to her true inner self, the Devi who values realness and authenticity and loving through imperfection. It's a step closer to the complete acceptance of herself. (Notice as well that right after this point, it becomes more undeniable than ever that Ben is who she wants to be with.)
As long as Paxton was a romantic possibility for Devi, their relationship was tied to her feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Again this is not Paxton's fault -- he assures her of the opposite all the time -- but this is Devi's story, and we are shown over and over that Devi fears true vulnerability with Paxton (both sexually and emotionally). Compare this to the way she has always felt confident, seen, driven, and unabashedly herself in her relationship with Ben, even when they were enemies. At a glance Devi may appear to act more immature in Ben's orbit, but the truth is that she grows with him more than anyone else (besides Nalini) thanks to Ben's penchant for encouraging accountability and showing her that actions can have consequences.
Anyway, TLDR version:
Paxton = Devi's youth, Mohan, grief, distraction, the past, idealism, and the head (constructed ideas).
Ben = Devi's future, Nalini, healing, confrontation, the present, reality, and the heart (authentic truths).
Never Have I Ever's romantic story structure rests on the premise of these symbolic definitions. They are gospel, and while the characters will grow and change and become better versions of themselves, they will do so within the lines that are already drawn. The lines exist for a reason -- they are a narrative tool! These characters cannot and should not 'grow out' of their roles because those roles are their identities within the show's framework. The characters are exactly who they are meant to be right through to the end. They are symbols. If that's not your cup of tea then so be it! But there's nothing wrong with this writing style. In fact it's one of my personal favorites because everything is so neatly defined, yet fascinating to read into 🥰
The imperfect Ben had to be Devi's true love because her love interests are, in a way, reflections of herself. By no fault of his own, Devi always felt the need to be "perfect" for Paxton because that's how she viewed him; a false paragon of everything she wanted to be. That is the point of their story together. Her acceptance of the deep love she has for Ben (and Nalini!), despite his sometimes off-putting demeanor, is aligned with Devi's acceptance of her own imperfections -- that she is hot-headed, she can be self-absorbed, she acts without thinking and makes mistakes -- but that she is also brilliant and driven and caring and radiant, and she is equally worthy of receiving the love that she has to offer others.
Narratively speaking, it was never truly a competition.
163 notes · View notes