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phanfictioncatalogue · 4 months ago

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(TW) Alcohol Masterlist

30 Days To Fall - kawaii-kanai

Summary: Dan’s scraped by in life, never really enjoying it due to persistent bullies, stern parents, and loneliness. When a mysterious man from his past tells him he only has 30 days left to live, he finally takes the initiative to make the best of what time he has left.

All I Want (ao3) - det395

Summary: Prompt: It’s Christmas, Dan/Phil is alone and doesn’t have anyone to spend Christmas with, so one winds up drunk and passed out in the snow, the other finds them and brings them back to their apartment to make sure they’re okay and not dying.

All I Want for Christmas is You - scifiphan

Summary: It’s almost Christmas and all it takes is a cup of mulled wine for Dan to realise he has been in love with Phil all along.

Angel Baby (ao3) - bestelitecouple

Summary: Daniel Howell is tired of being seen as a Baby, especially because it’s been his given nickname ever since it became well-known that he skipped an entire year at university. He’s not someone who needs his hand held or a dummy in his mouth, and yet everyone who knows him seem to think so, if they even know him at all. He decides that if he wants to get rid of his child-like image, he’s going to have to change. But just how far is he willing to go to clear his name? And what does a certain boy who’s far too cool for him have to do with it?

a thread to hold - waverlysangels

Summary: Phil wanted a sensible life, a fireplace and a picket fence, and Dan was a wrecking ball he could simply no longer afford to keep around. But once you care for someone, it never really goes away, a constant thread between the two of them.

Climbing The Ladder (ao3) - kawaiikanai

Summary: Punk!Dan and Punk/TattooArtist!Phil both struggle to find themselves after past event that have shaken their trust in other people and in themselves.

drunk words are sober thoughts (ao3) - bombshellphil

Summary: The opportunity of a life time comes in the form of Phil Lester actually showing up at a party, all tattoos and bright blue eyes. Dan's been crushing on him for far too long, so getting the chance to play Never Have I Ever with his crush? Yeah, he can't pass that one up. What could go wrong?

Drunken Anons (ao3) - maetaurus

Summary: In Dan’s drunken state of mind, he decides it’s a good idea to send suggestive anons to Phil. The only problem, Dan forgot to click the anon button.

Drunken Conclusion - passionfruitwriter

Summary: | Dan gets drunk while Phil is away and accidentally buys a wedding ring

Empty Double Cups (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Dan and Phil are in a relationship, but you wouldn’t think it. They attempt to surpass their first milestone as a couple – their first house party, where everyone would see them together.

Feeling Good - birdyhowell

Summary: Dan steals alcohol and brownies from a party his brother was holding (who I made older in this fic) and meets Phil at their favourite meet-up place. Best friends for years, they get really drunk for the first time and learn that the brownies they had were actually weed brownies. Cue young Dan and Phil confessing some feels and start hooking up.

Hiding Truth (ao3) - ineffabledaniel

Summary: Badboy, Heartbreaker, Demon. These are all words that perfectly discribe Daniel Howell. Dan’s parents stuck him in a boarding school full of humans. It was going pretty grest for a little while. Until a tall dark haired boy ruins his perfect world by becoming his roommate.

I’ll Hold Your Flower Crown (ao3)- kitchen_sinks

Summary: Small pastel!Dan gets drunk at a party and throws up all over punk!Phil and his leather jacket

Of Love and Demons (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: “Everything can love, Dan.”

“Don’t think so.”

“Well, I do.”

Dan looks at him - properly looks at him - the earnest twist of his eyebrows and his unbearable eyes. Maybe that’s what makes him say it.

“What’s it like, then?”

In which Dan, a demon, learns about love. Good Omens inspired AU.

Ride Sharing (ao3) - phansparent

Summary: Phil hates the drunken idiots who troll the streets of London on his commute home. He doesn’t mind ones named Dan who share his cab and spontaneously give him blowjobs.

Settling Down (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Dan and Phil go to an arcade and get to talking about kids and commitment. They then get drunk with other YouTubers, who force them to reconsider their relationship.

Snakebite Heart with a Bubblegum Smile - dark-days-dark-nights-xx

Summary: Phil didn’t want to be there, he really didn’t, but his parents had insisted Uni would benefit and he was determined to hate it. That was until he met his roommate, a guy whose wardrobe consisted of pastel jumpers and flower crowns who made Phil admit who he really was. (Punk/pastel Uni! AU)

Stuck In A Moment (ao3) - jedinow

Summary: Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) is stuck in a time loop. Unfortunately, his flatmate and best friend Phil Lester (AmazingPhil) is not stuck in the loop with him. Dan explores many activities and experiences a wide variety of emotions as he searches for the key to finally breaking the loop.

Terrifying Truths And Drunken Dares (ao3) - thejigsawtimess

Summary: It's late, they're both drunk, but there's vodka and each other, and hey - you know what sounds great? Truth or frickin dare.

The Bet (ao3) - Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters

Summary: Dan was drunk, he shouldn’t have even considered it but… “How much?”

“£100.” Jack grinned, hiccuping and taking a swig of his beer. “Deal?”

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot (ao3) - auroraphilealis (peachrayne)

Summary: Dan has never been a fan of frat houses, and after Phil comes onto him at a frat party and then pushes him into a pool, Dan can’t help feeling vindicated. Phil, on the other hand, just wants to apologize.

The Iron Hoof Cattle Call (ao3) - phangelica

Summary: Dan is a hitman going town to town trying to run away from his past and Phil is a bartender who just wants to help. Set in the late 1800s in the Arizona-Mexico border.

The Torture of OCD - wishicouldunreadthat

Summary: (tw) “We’ve just completed the full assessment of Dan’s behaviour and regret to inform you…” The doctor leaned forward in his chair and watched Phil, eyes full of heavy sympathy. “We believe Dan is suffering with OCD.”

to roll with what comes (ao3) - symmetricdnp

Summary: But Phil had thought those were just stories. Stories that people would stumble upon online or hear from a friend, that’d make them think of how lucky they were that it didn’t happen to them.

Phil's comfortable yet decidedly average life gets turned upside down when he ends up bonded to a barista that he's exchanged about three sentences with.

we have more in common than i thought (ao3) - pseudofangs

Summary: bad boy!dan has a bit of a secret crush on nerd!phil, and when grouped with him in class he uses the opportunity to convince him to come to a party. (what happens next will shock you!!) (not really, no shocks don’t worry)

featuring a latin class, a party, becky&jessica, flustered drunk boys. and more softness than intended.

You and I Against The World (ao3) - my_happy_little_bean

Summary: Dan and Phil are top MI5 agents, partners, and best friends. But when a party goes wrong and Dan is kidnapped, Phil is thrown into a chaos only he can get out of. Between mysterious clues, vengeful friends, hidden feelings, and sleeping with your bestie, he believes his social life may be harder than his actual job.

You're Easy to Crack (ao3) - TheUKAmazingDan

Summary: dan and phil are both cocky frat boys that love beer almost as much as they love each other. dan, drunk and horny, challenges phil to a game of beer pong: whoever wins, tops. may the games begin.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #masterlists #tw #alcohol tw #alcohol #alcohol masterlist #drugs #drinking #drinking tw

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caffedrine · 2 years ago

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Keith Howell - Dramatic Epilogue - Summary

I pretty much have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t trust me, and you shouldn’t either. This summary is not guaranteed to be accurate, it’s mostly written for myself to follow along with the route.

Sometime after coming to Jade, Emma notices something unusual in Keith’s room. Keith had left on official business that morning, leaving Emma alone. She thought she would help him out by doing some light housekeeping that morning and watering his plants, and that’s when she finally noticed it.

(Can you spot it?)

Just behind the mirror and tree is an outlined depression in the wall. Knocking lightly on it, Emma thought that it sounded hollow like there was a room behind it. Maybe it was a secret passage, similar to the one Emma and Keith had used to sneak into the castle to confront Fernand and the king?

If so, this was probably a secret only the royal family would know about. Additionally, Keith had been hiding it behind his mirror and tree, giving it a mysterious and secret atmosphere. Emma is curious about it, but maybe it was a cultural thing to not talk about it?

Try as she might, the secret in Keith’s room occupies her mind often.

~~~

Leaning against a large tree in a secret forest bathed in sunlight, Alter!Keith grumbles about being a surprise therapist. He looks directly at him, his gaze blunt and exasperated.

Yes, but this is important, it’s about Emma. She’s been distracted lately, but when he asked around about it, there didn’t seem to be any problems. Maybe there’s a different kind of reason, an internal reason.

Alter!Keith asks him to explain.

Maybe Emma has realized that he’s gloomy, ill-mannered, and is now tired of him. As much as he’s tried to change, his improvements are slow and hard. Maybe, now that they’ve been together for a while, Emma has realized that he’s nothing more than a weed that’s good for nothing but feeding mushrooms.

What will happen if she tries to break up with him?

Oh no, but he can’t let her go no matter what she wants. If she tries to leave him, he’ll just cling to her and cry, and hope that she feels some smidgeon of pity.

Alter!Keith groans, he now feels disgusted after hearing all of that.

Right? He hates this part of himself too, but he’s so desperate. Without Emma, he’s not sure if he can even breathe.

With a flat, deadpan voice, Alter!Keith agrees that breathing is important. Okay, so he’s strangely considerate of everyone around him but can’t seem to comprehend Emma’s emotions. It’s really strange that he can’t comprehend what’s really bothering Emma.

Clouds flow forward, blocking the sun and covering the forest in a cool shade. He’s also easy to understand.

There is a solution. Alter!Keith asks if he’s prepared to show Emma everything.

Yes, he doesn’t want to hide anything from Emma. Why, what is he planning?

Well, he just said that he wants to solve Emma’s dilemma, right?

~~~

One night, Alter!Keith abruptly asks if she wants to know about the secret of his room, helpfully pointing at the half-hidden depression. Emma is surprised at this question, and wonders if she had glanced at it too often and admits that she kinda sorta is curious. At Alter!Keith’s look, she admits that she might be more than just a little curious, maybe even what someone would call ‘very’.

Alter!Keith tells her next time just to come out and ask about it. Emma points out that it’s hidden, so she’s not sure if it’s something he wants to talk about. Alter!Keith assures her that she can ask him anything; if it’s her then he’ll explain anything she wants to know.

Standing up, Alter!Keith heads towards the secret, warning Emma to brace herself. He quickly moves the mirror and tree out of his way, before pressing a hand against his wall. Suddenly Emma realizes that it’s a hidden door, opening with a loud noise.

Courteously, Alter!Keith holds out his hand to Emma and invites her inside. Accepting his hand, Emma steps inside the secret room.

(Ta-da!)

The first thing that hits Emma is the smell of books, and she can see the small area lined with shelves upon shelves of books. It’s a dim room, lit only by the candle Alter!Keith has produced, and the moonlight streams through the skylight above.

It’s like a secret base, small and closet sized. To Emma’s eyes, it looks like a treasure trove of books, with even a small reading desk to sit at. Alter!Keith explains that it’s their study, where they can read and write without being bothered. Emma is impressed, it looks like it is free of distractions, and if one looks up at night, they would be able to see the stars. It’s perfect for Keith. Casually, Emma looks to the side at the bookshelf, hoping to investigate the books.

On the left, the shelves are lined with dossiers on national politics, reports, and even some fictional novels.

The books on the right have no title.

Emma asks Alter!Keith about these books, peering at them intently. Alter!Keith explains that they are the diaries he and Nice!Keith used to communicate until recently. Helpfully, he adds that the oldest ones are on the far right, with the newer ones on the left. He helpfully reaches out and pulls out the oldest of the diaries and presents it to Emma.

Emma asks if he’s certain it’s okay for her to read it, and Alter!Keith assures her it is. This is the other reason that he brought her here, so she can get to know them and their past as quickly as possible.

Accepting the diary, Emma looks over the cover. There are fine scratches in the leather, showing its age and its heavy use. Very carefully, Emma opens the book and gently turns the pages, worried about breaking them.

(What can be more fun than reading the private thoughts of someone else?)

The handwriting suggests two different authors

~~~

Keith (?) 1: Who are you? What have you done without my knowledge?

Keith (?) 1: The way everyone was looking at me was strange, they were saying things about me that I don’t understand.

Keith (?) 2: I can do whatever I want with this body.

Keith (?) 2: It looks like I did your job for you. You should thank me; you were very bad at it.

Keith (?) 2: You don’t remember what happened during my time? Then I’ll write down what happened for you.

Keith (?) 2: It’s only a matter of time before everyone acknowledges you as an excellent prince.

Keith (?) 1: Those achievements are yours, not mine.

Keith (?) 1: Your very existence scares me.

Keith (?) 1: Please, I’m begging you, get out of me. This is not normal!

Keith (?) 2: Where do the people disappear to when they are told to go die?

Keith (?) 2: Your fears and confusion mean nothing to me.

Keith (?) 2: Why does this bother you so much? Isn’t it good? All your problems are taken care of while you close your eyes.

Keith (?) 2: Besides, you yourself also want to disappear. So, you go away and disappear instead.

Keith (?) 1: Yes, you are the better one. You’re completely different from me, the failure prince.

Keith (?) 1: As long as you’re here, I can disappear at any time.

Keith (?) 1: How can I make myself disappear?

Keith (?) 1: What should I do-

~~~

Emma slams the book closed, unable to read anymore. The last few lines were blurry, as if the author was crying while writing them.

In her hands is the journey of two different authors trying to understand and know each other. It took them the length of the room to build their relationship into what it is today. Now, both Keiths have accepted each other as a matter of course. However, it never occurred to Emma how hard and frightening it must have been in the beginning.

It must have taken them time to accept reality, and even afterwards, their hearts must have hurt. It breaks her heart to think of Keith handling this insurmountable problem by himself, without having anyone else to depend on.

How many wounds has Keith suffered to get to the point he is at now? And those wounds could not have all healed yet.

The hand holding the diary trembles as Emma considers the weight of all she has learned.

Alter!Keith notes that as much as Nice!Keith has rejected him, he’s also the first person to try to understand him. OF course, Emma never rejected him, even at the beginning. He’s not normal, but he’s beginning to think that neither is Emma.

Emma tells him that she’ll consider that a compliment.

She returns the diary to the shelf and looks around the room again. At the far end of the room is the reading desk, where a brand-new diary is placed. She asks if they’re still keeping a diary, even though they can now speak with each other.

With a grin, Alter!Keith reaches out and opens the diary. Well, it’s not necessary these days, but Nice!Keith has been using it to write about his uneasy feelings from time to time. He flips to a specific page before handing it to Emma to read.

~~~

Nice!Keith: Emma has been acting weird lately, have I done something?

Nice!Keith: I’ve asked if there’s anything that has been bothering her, but she just says that it’s nothing.

Nice!Keith: I don’t know what to do in this situation. I’m thinking about it too much, and now I feel like mushrooms are growing in my head.

~~~

Oh, so Emma has been making Keith feel so uneasy. Emma laughs at how light the worries of this diary are compared to the first one she had just read.

Alter!Keith complains that he is such an idiot. It’s better to talk about this directly with her, rather than write it in a book that no one will ever see. Emma can’t help but agree.

Alter!Keith continues; Emma should tell him that he doesn’t need to keep a dairy anymore. He has tired, but that guy won’t listen to him. Looking up at Alter!Keith’s expression, Emma can see a soft gentleness to it. She assures Alter!Keith that she will handle it, she’ll keep Nice!Keith so busy that he won’t have enough time to sneak off and brood. Hopefully, he will one day choose to share his problems with Emma instead of just his diary.

She wants to be Keith’s refuge from the world.

As Emma looks at the new diary, Alter!Keith suddenly picks her up, pulling the diary from her hands. For some reason, he places Emma on the reading desk, standing between her legs. Emma asks what brought this on so suddenly and Alter!Keith only complains that he was growing bored.

(It actually isn't that fun watching someone else read the diaries of a mad man)

With a grumpy face, Alter!Keith leans forward and captures Emma’s lips, hard enough that it felt like a bite.

Emma tries to tell Alter!Keith to stop, or at least not do this in a place that’s so important to him and Nice!Keith, but she can’t with Alter!Keith’s mouth blocking hers. She grabs onto Alter!Keith’s broad shoulders, thinking to push him away, but instead finds her skirt flipped up as if in revenge.

When she tries to close her legs, Alter!Keith pulls her lower half closer to him, blocking her. Starting from behind her knees, Alter!Keith’s palms begin to run up her legs.

With a noise, Emma is finally able to wrench her mouth away from Alter!Keith’s. Innocently, he asks if she wants to beg him to do more to her.

No, the opposite, actually. Emma gasps as she tries to calm her breathing. This area is important to both Keiths, and she doesn’t want to sully it with this.

Suddenly Alter!Keith is in a bad mood, and he complains that she’s only thinking about him, isn’t she? He’s the one here in front of her, so she should focus on him instead. Emma points out that he’s the one who started talking about Nice!Keith first.

Alter!Keith grumbles at her to stop and steals another kiss from Emma. His hand moves from her leg to her innermost part, touching and stroking it.

Emma feels her face grow hot and she covers her face the moment the kiss ends. Alter!Keith complains that he’s doing this on purpose, and he doesn’t want her to hide her expression. Emma responds that he’s asking for the impossible.

Really?

The fingers that had been stroking her change and start pressing inside of her, and their movement makes Emma tremble. The hungry pain in her lower abdomen clouds her mind and soon she is unable to form coherent thoughts.

Very gently, Alter!Keith holds her to him with his free arm. Is it just him, or doesn’t everyone want to see all kinds of expressions on the one they love? He kisses her face, time and time again, his hand continuing to move between her legs. Alter!Keith will show Emma this expression of his, so she can see how jealous he is when she thinks of him instead.

Alter!Keith is enjoying this. Emma is frustrated since she feels like she’s being manipulated, but her heart is genuinely happy. No matter how many problems either Keith gives her, her love for them just grows. Just as she has touched the heart of Nice!Keith, she wants to touch the heart of Alter!Keith as well.

Giving in, Emma cups Alter!Keith’s face in her hands. She tells him that she understands, from now on she will watch Alter!Keith so much that he’ll grow to hate it. Don’t get so upset in the future.

When she initiates the next kiss, Alter!Keith kindly accepts it. In a room where anger, fear, confusion, and a painful past were started, she and Keith will repaint it with sweet love.

#ikemen prince #ikepri #keith howell #main route

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cloudcountry · 1 year ago

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OKAY first thoughts on Ikepri men

Leon: Awoo I think I know who I'm choosing like oajbsdijb. He has a beautiful smile and beautiful hair and he's good with kids! Also dang his outfit looks so good! I want him. That one. That's mine.

Chevalier: He's cold but I'm kinda interested tho?? Like I don't know why but I like him?? Like he's so cool but he also put a sword to my throat which wasn't as cool. But I'm kinda interested in him and want to know more

Yves: LMAO I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. I'm sorry but I need to fix his hair because I can't take him seriously. He gives me wet cat vibes and I think it's so funny. But he's a sassy tsundere so that's cool I guess

Nokto: Ah yes, the classic otome game character that immediately flirts with you. I can't look at him without seeing Zen from Mystic Messenger in more ways than one. I'm not very impressed by someone who can't even remember if I was a fling and immediately tries to flirt. Keeping him at a distance

Licht: Edgy man. Idk much about him because he's quiet but he's kinda cool I guess?? He's pretty and has nice fluffy hair but he gives me sleepy boy vibes and lone wolf. I'm not too interested in him but more so than others

Clavis: My first thought is woah so pretty :O but then I found out he's mischievous and a trouble maker and I can't deal with that. He's pretty but not for me. Would love to brush/run my hands through his hair tho. Also his belts confuse me

Jin: LMAO he looks like a normal guy and acts like a normal guy. I'm sorry he just looks so average. I can't get much of a read on him tho so it kinda reminds me of Trey but idk aside from that.

Luke: :O Woah another pretty man?? He seems fun and I like his outfit a lot I mean the little animal is so cute! He's adorable and I want to hug him but idk about romance

Sariel: ;-; no. Get away from me. His hair, his outfit, his threats, his attitude and personality...please keep him away from me. He scares me but also like he gets on my nerves? Idk how to describe it but he feels off and shady. I usually trust demons but nah not this one. Also giving heavy Jade vibes

Rio: did they make a golden retriever into a person?? I love how he's actually referred to as a dog/pet and he says nothing about it. But he's a major simp for the mc and I'm not a fan. He looks better as a butler but idk he's too obsessed with me for me to be interested. Also I can't read his name and not see that blue bird

Gilbert: ...I've only read his description but I love him. Pretty, mysterious, edgy, and he's feared? Sign me up. Also that outfit, like slayy man. I'm going to steal that cape and wear it. Awooga this man he's so edgy but danggggg

Keith: All these fancy names and then there's Keith. Idk he's soft and cool sure but not for me. Too soft for me. Also his hair and last name makes me think they tried to put Dan Howell in the game. It says he has two sides so I guess that's cool but not for me

Silvio: Cruella De Vil wannabe...okay but he's pretty but no. His whole throw money at things to solve problems is no. He's wearing lots of jewelry which makes me want to imagine me as a peacock robbing him. Yeah that fits. Rob him and wear that cloak around and act smug in front of him. What's he gonna do? Throw money at me?

PLS leon is really nice!!! he's more like an older brother figure to me personally but i think hiss hugs would cure my depression LMAO

ASJGDFFAJS STOP I LAUGHED REALLY LOUD WHEN I READ WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT CHEVIE.,,.,.,. HES SO SILLY apparently he's really sweet ocne you get to know him but hes a biit prickly at the beginning (but hey, isnt that the same for half the love interests?)

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON HIS HEAD FOR YVES. HES SO WET CAT CODED. his route is so sad but sosososo sweet its so adorable. i want to hug him. he's like a bestie to me tbh i would fight anyone that looks at himw rong FR. HE DESERVES THE WORLD AJHSGDAJ

okay i'll admit i didn't like nokto at first because he's the flirty type but. he doesn't really give me the creeps anymore? now that i know why he does that./ he's kinda just there for me but he looks a lot liek zen from mystic messenger HELP

LICHT IS SOOOOO RPETTY and hes the reserved type. i am foaming at the mouth. I WANTED TO PLAY HSI ROUTE FIRST but yves was probably the better choice for my frist route since his route os apparently super heavy ^^;

CLAVIS IS SO GOOFY his relationship with the mc is honestly so adorable if you pick him as a love interest,.., theyre so teasinga nd wholesome towards each other and if my future relationship doesnt look like tehres I DONT WANT IT.

jin scares me but yorue right about him being painful;ly average. i got that impression too but apparently his route punched people in the gut KASHGD

OMG YES. I ADORE LUKE. ive only played yves's route so far but luke is so kind. hes so sweet. hes so godo at talking peoplee down from anxiety and even though he has a temper himself hes so good at regulating emotions??? i want to hug him so bad. he was so nice to mc in the beginning of yves's route too.

SARIEL'S HAIR BOTHERS ME TOO LMAOOOO I GET IT!!! he has a sprite with a whip and i hate it. umm he's kinda nice sometimes but i dont really have an impression of him yet!!

RIO IS TEH SWEETEST :((( I WOULD DIE FOR HIM. he is so kind to mc and i know the whole obsessed thing isnt for everyone (it put me off at first too LMAO) but really he just loves her unconditionally and wants her to be happy its so cute im gonna die

THE WAY I SCREAMED WHEN YOU SAID YOUW ERE ALREADY IN LOVE WITH GILBERT you and the whole ikepri fandom tbh. may i introduce you to his weird ass gloves and their unexpected appeal. also he has a cane which is silly. his coat is weird. i am picturing that diagram vio made for his outfit ITS RIDICULOUS.

keith's hair looks so soft i want to run my fingers through it in a very bestie way. he gave me a weird vibe when i saw him first but the second he opened his mouth teh weird vibe disappeared. he just seems so sweet and gentle :((

i do NOT like silvio next

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS RY I HAD SO MUCH FUN ANSWERING TI GIGGLINGA ND KCIKING MY FEEET AJSHDFJA

#🦚! ryker #auburn talks ikepri <3

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nadiajustbe · 5 months ago

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@callonpeevesie

THANK YOU.

Honestly, no contempt for movie-only fans, but this guys can be... pretty funny with about zero understanding of the book characters besides what they read once in a TikTok comments. Movie is so different from the books that they're just NOT comparable, when you don't want do point out the difference or/and make a joke. Really, Howell Jenkins is not your "that's my girl" perfect fantasy guy with an American accent, just...have him and leave peacefully, no one tries to take him from your bare hands. Movie is beatiful and charming as it's own story. You can love the story without trying to justify it in book-only (or mixed) fans, trust me, we're good/nonneg.

(Sometimes I'm also sure that the guys who says so either didn't read the book or have read it once five years ago and also the same guys who try to point out Howl's "red flags" like the worst person in the world. Just. Reread it. Pls. Not everyone has to be perfect, in fact, no one is perfect. That's not that big of a deal, that's what good about book Howl)

YES THEY DID MAKE HER A VILLAIN IN THE MOVIE. Moreover, they mixed her and Ben (and partly the King) into a character called ms. Suliman, wich is...what was wrong with ms. Pentstemmon? You have already made her into an old Howl's mentor, that's basically her just evil. I know this name is difficult to pronounse, but let's be honest — we can all just call her "ms. P" and move on. And also yeah, Howl loves ms. Pentstemmon as a mentor (and maybe even partly mother-like) figure, she was the first person to meet him in the new world, the only person to get his "painfully ordinary name" right AND she is the one who gave him everything he wanted to learn. He would make her a hero, but def not a villain.

OH YES. Everytime I heard this part of the quote I thought it was about her "seeing" the story and narrating it this way — after all, it's her POV written there, but If they mean that it's how she would tell the story, like, to someone else? Using fist person pronoun? God, no. She was already a unreliable narrator, putting as much of her personal thoughts in a third person POV, trying not to give readers any info about her feelings for Howl. They think If she had a chance to actually tell she wouldn't be even more unreliable??? They think she would sit there and sincerely say:

"Yeah I accidentally charmed Howl's suit to attract ladies and though it worked really really good on me but turned out he was just hot and I was so angry because of it, that I threw a bucket of weed killer onto his head and almost unalived him..."

HOWL is the one who's gonna tell that, in every possible detail, lovingly and mockingly using Alice in the Wonderland references no one understands. Sophie is the one who's gonna avoid it at all costs. She would be, in fact, so pissed because of her long denial phase I doubt she would touch on this at all, resulting people asking where all this live story Howl was talking about at.

She would add that he gave him a flower field and she appreciated it as much as she could with all his "horrible ways" (because don't tell me she wouldn't use the opportunity to of her retelling mock Howl as much as he mocked her in his, describing all the layers of dust on his bed and repeatedly noting that he couldn't play the guitar.), but would not mention that her first thought of "apprecation" was "This flowers smells like Howl right from the bathroom)

(Probably the "annoyed but loving" expression was the main thing to convince the audience that she in fact DOES really loves this horrible man, and there was a love story. Like she tries but she can't hide it. The main problem of Sophie throughout the book is that she really down bad for this man and not like something can change it. Is she gonna tell about it in all the details? NO LOL.)

She is the girlfailure and girlboss. Howl, in contrast, is just a failure. And a loser. Don't let him trick you with his cool wizard carer, it doesn't change anything. Too bad she loves him. Too bad they actually do suit each other in their flawed insanity.

But yes. The book is how Sophie narrates the story, def not how she would tell it. This is two really different things.

Don't think I'm finished on "Movie is how Howl tells the story..." statement. Because it's fundamentally wrong.

Look, I get it when you want to say that the hmc movie is its own story with an original plot — because it is, mostly, the only things that remain are the concept and some hits given here in there that lead to nowhere. However, movie is absolutely not how Howl would tell the story. It is, in fact, pretty opposite of it in some aspects.

Even when talking about Howl self-image, wich started it all, I think people keep forgetting how self-aware Howl can be. He knows he's vain and cowardly and an absolute loser and he doesn't want to be respectful whatsoever. He even tells Michael that, quote

“I know I’m slapdash, but there's no need for you to copy me"

And the whole ending sequence is just him being honest with Sophie and telling her the truth about who he thinks he is and his weaknesses. He pretty much states all he flanks are weak — he knows it, and it is true. Would he try to make it all more romantic and cool and so he would make himself seem less of a loser? Yes, absolutely. Would he make it by erasing absolutely everything about his character being unique and standing out turning it into a whole-blown "love peace not war" story? Absolutely not.

He may not mention him getting with another women every week, that's true. But he wouldn't leave out his stupidly-"romantic" nature while he was doing so, and he would not leave the guitar courting stuff out just because it's connected to it, gosh, he thinks it's cool.

Yes, he is quoting Shakespeare and John Dohn and he is poetic and sometimes overly romantise thinks to make it more dramatic, but that does not mean he's gonna achieve it by leaving out all his shenanigans whatsoever. Also, note, he does not want to be seen perfect by everyone, just by ones he thinks is important to him or his life or his stupid decisions. After all, he was the one who started the rumors about Wizard Howl being a heart-eater. He was the one to ask Sophie to blaken his name — to show him in the worst light possible.

"He wants to be seen perfect by everyone" is such a... mediocre analysis of his character, honestly, it might work with appearance, in Ingary at least, but personality wise. He want to be seen so only when it benefits him and people he thinks highly of. When he thinks that too high thoughts about him would bring him into trouble, give him unwanted attention or make him actually works, that his last wish ever. That's the whole subplot of the book — Howl does not want to be seen too good by the king because it's gonna lead him somewhere he doesn't want to be. Hell, he even denies doing something just because he wanted to help, saying that he "did it for money".

(it doesn't mean he wants people to see him as someone great, it's just that's pretty selective and his "perfect" persona is as fake as his "horrible wizard one)

Movie!Howl might be Book!Howl propaganda, but definitely not ALL of him. Some parts, some scenes, some moments might work (and that's actually the most accurate thing out of all statement), but I don't personally think this is the EXACT way Howl would tell his character.

Him telling about Sophie is the whole other thing. He LOVES Sophie for how crazy and stubborn and nosy and moody she can be — there's NO WAY he's not gonna give weed killer a half an hour or screen time just to talk about what haos of a woman his wife is. Yes, some of them might not fit into his "perfect picture" but he loves Sophie, and he loves what she does with this "perfect picture" and he's gonna give another hour on them bantering just because Sophie is being Sophie. He's NOT gonna leave out everything he loves about Sophie making her kind-hearted quiet protagonist with one mean line, the ones she was supposed to be the opposite, the caricature of.

There's also no way he would make Michael into a... white about six years old child? He may see him younger than Sophie does due to them growing up in a different environments, true, but 1) not that much 2) the whole thing about Michael is that he's the most responsible adult-like person in the whole Castle, despite being the youngest of all them, and Howl also KNOWS that. Also there's no need to change his skin or hair colour, as well as making him having no role in the story. I don't think he'll mention Michael trying to catch a star because of his nephew's homework — this is embarrassing, after all, but there's so MUCH more of Michael than that.

He's not gonna may ms. Pentstemmon a villain of any kind. Letting alone mixing her with Ben for some reason (who to hell is ms. Suliman, seriously?? W H Y). He highly respects her, to the point he's ready to attend her funeral even If it's gonna make him dead. If anything, he's gonna show her figure even more heroic than she is, maybe adding a whole sequence with her heroicly fighting with WoTW and loosing with an epic SGI. But making her a villain? No. Just not. There's no reason for that.

There's also no WAY he wouldn't mention Wales. He LOVES his country, he outright states it with "I love Wales but Wales doesn't love me" quote. Yes, there's jokes about Megan being a war metaphor, but Wales is not just Megan — it's also Mari, Niel, his old rugby team, his childhood and teen years, his memories and his experience. He would not make that portal If there was no things he wants to go back for — it's such an obvious weakness of his that WoTW notices it right away. He may not mention getting drunk before a fight, but he's gonna mention Wales.

(also I think people exaggerate Howl's hate for Megan. Yes, their relationship are far from perfect, but they still talk, she lest him go into her house announced and her family is what triggers him to fight with his evil ex in the first place. They may not be on a good terms but they DIDN'T cut off their connection. And "hate" is def not the word for that. Don't forget his first reaction to Sophie being in danger in CITA is "send her to Wales to his sister". He sees Wales as safe and reliable place, this is his first solution for dangerous situations. Even when he's not the biggest fan of his sister herself.)

He's also not gonna leave the sister subplot simply cause it was funny. He may change WoTW because he doesn't like her but he's not gonna make her live with them and feed her with a spoon, for the God's sake, that's disgusting. Him making himself Ingarian is the last thing he would do. He would NEVER.

(he's also not gonna leave out Shakespeare quoting in the sake of "romantise sequence you guys are talking about.)

Also, he could not care less about the war. I've seen a war with my own eyes, and... this is really, eh, too optimistic image of it I might say. Somehow realistic in showing it, but not by the way it provides solution, honestly. "Let's all just create love and King's gonna cancel war" IT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. NO.

When he did attend war in CITA, he literally have won it by bringing IBUPROFEN onto the war field. Ibuprofen and bandages. What a "all-giving" reckless hero, really.

Book!Howl is a caricature to everything Movie! Howl is, and otherwise would not tell the story providing cliches he himself is the opposite of. He's a loser and an idiot and we love him for that.

It's two completely different stories. There's no need to connect them. Please.

#I can't even add anything more #your tags are real #this quote is so wrong it hurst #also that's probably controversial BUT #I don't know how people are actually in love with movie Howl?#Idk this like being in love is the perfect Prince Charming from an early fairy tales it's just...meh #there's not much of a personality #If you want to compare #because comparing to the book there REALLY not much of a personality #like why are you guys looping this 'that's my girl' quotes for 3383833 of times?#I'm genuinely concerned it scares me a bit I'm worried abt them #like yes movie Howl is perfect and romantic and cool but that's the reason why I can't like him as much #I'm sorry #(also giving a guy named Howell Jenkins an AMERICAN ACCENT is a crime)#howl's moving castle book #hmc book #hmc #book sophie #book howl #analysis

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zenlesszonezero · 14 days ago

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As the conspiracy reaches its finale, the Void Hunter joins the fight.

Uncover the Conspiracy in Zenless Zone Zero's All-New Version "A Storm of Falling Stars", S-Rank Agent Hoshimi Miyabi is here! With S-Rank Agent Asaba Harumasa Limited-Time Giveaway! Pre-register to obtain additional rewards.

#Zenless Zone Zero #Miyabi #Harumasa #HoYoverse #zzzero #zenlesszonezero #Mobile Game #Anime Game #Gaming

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maandarinee · 4 years ago

Note

what are all the podcasts you listen to?

anon I'm so glad you asked

Since it is a pretty long list including synopses (stolen from the podcast feed or website because I'm Bad at summaries and in some cases it's been a while since I listened) I'm going to put it under a cut.

I've separated the list into "Complete" (either finished or cancelled) and "Ongoing" podcasts. Some have additional comments by me. Current favorites are marked orange. My eternal beloved are Our Fair City and Wolf 359.

Complete

ars PARADOXICA: "When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe."

Blackwood: "Five years ago, Molly Weaver, Bryan Anderson, and Nathan Howell started a podcast focused on the local legend of a monster called The Blackwood Bugman. Quickly, the investigation grew out of their control, as they discovered that, not only are the legends seemingly true, many people in Blackwood have turned up dead or disappeared without a trace." --> [this feels like the Blair With Project, but as a podcast. Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

Dreamboy: "Dane, a spun-out musician spending the winter in Cleveland, Ohio, has two main goals: keeping his job at the Pepper Heights Zoo and trying not to waste all his time on Grindr. What he doesn’t expect is to get swept into a story about dreams, about forevers, about flickering lights, about unexplained deaths, about relentless change, and about the parts of ourselves that we wish other people knew to look for. Oh, and also a murderous zebra." --> [very NSFW; does cool things with music! Didn't get a second season due to no funding, but it works as a standalone]

King Fall AM: "...centers on a lonely little mountain town's late-night AM talk radio show and its paranormal, peculiar happenings and inhabitants." --> [cancelled after 100 episodes, ends on a huge cliffhanger]

Our Fair City: "A campy, post-apocalyptic audio drama." --> [I know the description sounds like nothing but just trust me, I love it so much]

Steal the Stars: "...is a gripping noir science fiction thriller in 14 episodes: Forbidden love, a crashed UFO, an alien body, and an impossible heist unlike any ever attempted."

Stellar Firma: "...a weekly Science Fiction, Comedy podcast following the misadventures of Stellar Firma Ltd.'s highest born but lowest achieving planetary designer Trexel Geistman and his bewildered clone assistant David 7. Join them each episode as they attempt to take listener submissions and craft them into the galaxy's most luxurious, most expensive and most questionably designed bespoke planets. However, with Trexel's corporate shark of a line manager Hartro Piltz breathing down their necks and I.M.O.G.E.N., the station's omnipresent and omniinvasive stationwide A.I. monitoring those necks to within 3 decimal places, they'll be lucky to make it a week before being slurried and recycled into raw human resources." --> [semi-improvised, I thought I'd have a problem with the improv bit because that's not usually my thing, but no, I absolutely devoured this]

TANIS: "...is a serialized docudrama about a fascinating and surprising mystery: the myth of Tanis. Tanis is an exploration of the nature of truth, conspiracy, and information. Tanis is what happens when the lines of science and fiction start to blur." [+ spinoff The Last Movie] --> [I have no clue what the hell is going on here]

The Black Tapes: "...is a serialized docudrama about one journalist's searc for truth, her enigmatic subject's mysterious past, and the literal and figurative ghosts that haunt them both."

The Magnus Archives: "...is a weekly horror fiction anthology podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join new head archivist Jonathan Sims as he attempts to bring a seemingly neglected collection of supernatural statements up to date, converting them to audio and supplementing them with follow-up work from his small but dedicated team. Individually, they are unsettling. Together they begin to form a picture that is truly horrifying because as they look into the depths of the archives, something starts to look back…"

Time:Bombs: "...a new audio drama podcast about the hilarious world of bomb disposal. Ride along with EOD technician Simon Teller on the busiest night of the year for him and his team - when business is, quite literally, booming."

Wolf 359: "Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. He's stuck on a scientific survey mission of indeterminate length, 7.8 light years from Earth. His only company on board the station are stern mission chief Minkowski, insane science officer Hilbert, and Hephaestus Station's sentient, often malfunctioning operating system Hera. He doesn't have much to do for his job other than monitoring static and intercepting the occasional decades-old radio broadcast from Earth, so he spends most of his time creating extensive audio logs about the ordinary, day-to-day happenings within the station. But the Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that." --> [starts funny, turns very intense]

Ongoing

Alba Salix, Roya Physician (+ The Axe & Crown): "A witch, her apprentice, and her fairy herbalist treat the ills of a fairy-tale kingdom." + "Gubbin the troll tavernkeeper deals with his clueless new landlord, his shady niece, and some new competition."

Archive 81: "A found footage horror podcast about ritual, stories, and sound."

Arden: "A (fictional) true crime podcast about cold cases and the reporter and detective who try to solve them."

Brimstone Valley Mall: "The year is 1999. Lurking somewhere between Hot Topic and the food court, five misfit demons from Hell kill time inciting sin in a suburban shopping mall. When the lead singer of their band goes mysteriously missing, the demons only have two weeks to find him before they play the biggest gig of the millennium - or face the wrath of Satan herself."

CARAVAN: "First rule of Wound Canyon: No one who gets in, ever gets out. So when a brilliant, ghostly specter flies through the sky amid the rain and lightning, Samir stumbles off a steep cliff and into a hidden world, one in which demons, vampires, and all other manner of paranormal creatures take sanctuary." --> [also pretty NSFW and horny in general]

Death by Dying: "The Obituary Writer of Crestfall, Idaho finds himself deeply in over his head as he investigates a series of strange and mysterious deaths… when he is supposed to simply be writing obituaries. Along the way he encounters murderous farmers, man-eating cats, haunted bicycles, and a healthy dose of ominous shadows." --> [I had to stop listening to this in public because it kept making me undignified laugh and snort noises]

Desperado: "Blood magic, Voodoo magic, old gods, new gods: We've got it all! Follow the story of misfits from all over the world, as they try to survive and protect their heritage from modern-day crusaders."

EOS 10: "Doctors in space, a deposed alien prince, a super gay space pirate and a fiery nurse who'll help you win your bar fight."

Girl In Space: "Abandoned on a dying ship in the farthest reaches of known space, a young scientist fights for survival (and patience with the on-board A.I.). Who is she? No one knows. But a lot of dangerous entities really want to find out. Listen as the story unfolds for science, guns, trust, anti-matter, truth, beauty, inner turmoil, and delicious cheeses. It’s all here. In space."

Janus Descending: "...follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place. Told from two alternating perspectives, Janus Descending is an experience of crossing timelines, as one character describes the nightmare from end to beginning, and the other, from beginning to the end." --> [absolutely harrowing horror]

Love and Luck: "...is a fictional radio play podcast, told via voicemails and set in present day Melbourne, Australia. A slice of life queer romance story with a touch of magic, it follows the relationship between two men, Jason and Kane, as their love grows both for each other and their community." --> [soft and gay, feels like a warm hug]

Potterless: "Join Mike Schubert, a grown man reading the Harry Potter series for the first time, as he sits down with HP fanatics to poke fun at plot holes, make painfully incorrect predictions, and bask in the sassiness of the characters." --> [the only non-fiction podcast on the list]

Primordial Deep: "When a long extinct sea creature washes up on the shores of Coney Island, marine biologist Dr. Marella Morgan is contacted by a secret organization to investigate the origins of the creature’s sudden and unnatural resurgence. Soon, she and a team of experts find themselves living on the research station The Tiamat, traveling along the abyssal plains as they search for answers far below the waves. But there are dangers in these ancient waters. Reawakened, prehistoric monsters are rising from the deep -- jaws wide and waiting, and in the darkness, something is stirring."

Red Valley: "No one at Overhead Industries wants to talk about defunct research station Red Valley, and account man Warren Godby is out of his depth. When he meets Gordon Porlock, a disgruntled archivist with a bag of tapes from the station’s last known occupant, they will begin a journey to the limits of experimental science, confront horror and trauma from the past, present and future, and try to remember the cheat codes from Sonic the Hedgehog 2."

Rusty Quill Gaming: "An actual play podcast following a mixed ability group of comedians, improvisers, gamers, and writers as they play through the extended, tabletop roleplaying campaign Erasing the Line, an original game world of the GM’s crafting." --> [took me a while to get into because I have trouble focusing on non-scripted things, but eventually I got really hooked on the plot and attached to the characters. This podcast is really fucked up at times if you think about it]

SAYER: "A narrative fiction podcast set on Earth’s man-made second moon, Typhon. The eponymous SAYER is a highly advanced, self-aware AI created to help acclimate new residents to their new lives, and their new employment with Ærolith Dynamics." --> [feels like Welcome to Night Vale but narrated by GLaDOS from Portal]

StarTripper!!: "Join Feston Pyxis on a road-trip through the cosmos, as he leaves behind his old life in search of the best and wildest experiences the galaxy has to offer!"

The Amelia Project: "...is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand new identity! A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa."

The Big Loop: "...a biweekly anthology series. Each episode is a self-contained narrative exploring the strange, the wonderful, the terrifying, and the heartbreaking. Stories of finite beings in an infinite universe." --> [I don't like anthologies, except this one]

The Bright Sessions: "Dr. Bright provides therapy for the strange and unusual; their sessions have been recorded for research purposes." --> [think X-Men, but with therapy instead of a school]

The Deca Tapes: "Recordings have surfaced of ten people that are locked into the same space together. We don’t know where they are, or if they'll get out. But the answers must be somewhere on these tapes."

The Silt Verses: "Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories."

The White Vault: "Follow the collected records of a repair team sent to Outpost Fristed in the vast white wastes of Svalbard and unravel what lies waiting in the ice below."

Tides: "...is the story of Dr. Winifred Eurus, a xenobiologist trapped on an unfamiliar planet with hostile tidal forces. She must use her wits, sarcasm and intellectual curiosity to survive long enough to be rescued. But there might be more to life on this planet than she expected." --> [think The Martian, but on a water planet]

Unwell, a Midwestern Gothic Mystery: "Lillian Harper moves to the small town of Mt. Absalom, Ohio, to care for her estranged mother Dorothy after an injury. Living in the town's boarding house which has been run by her family for generations, she discovers conspiracies, ghosts, and a new family in the house's strange assortment of residents."

VAST Horizon: "Nolira is an agronomist tasked with establishing agriculture in a new solar system, but when she wakes up on a now- empty colony ship, the whole of her plan disappears. The ship has been set adrift, with numerous mission-critical problems requiring immediate attendance outside of her area of expertise. Nolira is aided by the ship’s malfunctioning AI, which acts as her confidant and companion during the fight for survival."

Victoriocity: "Even Greater London, 1887. In this vast metropolis, Inspector Archibald Fleet and journalist Clara Entwhistle investigate a murder, only to find themselves at the centre of a conspiracy of impossible proportions."

We Fix Space Junk: "...follows seasoned smuggler Kilner and reluctant fugitive Samantha as they travel the galaxy, dodging bullets and meeting strange and wonderful beings as they carry out odd jobs on the fringes of the law."

Welcome to Night Vale: "Twice-monthly community updates for the small desert town of Night Vale, where every conspiracy theory is true. Turn on your radio and hide."

Within the Wires: "Stories told through found audio from an alternate universe."

Wooden Overcoats: "Rudyard Funn and his equally miserable sister Antigone run their family's failing funeral parlour, where they get the body in the coffin in the ground on time. But one day they find everyone enjoying themselves at the funerals of a new competitor - the impossibly perfect Eric Chapman! With their dogsbody Georgie, and a mouse called Madeleine, the Funns are taking drastic steps to stay in the business…" --> [one of THE funniest podcasts I have ever listened to]

#ask #anon #please talk to me about podcasts at all times #podcasts #podcast recommendations

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dustedmagazine · 3 years ago

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Listed: Dummy

Dummy, from Los Angeles, is a five-piece band situated somewhere between Stereolab and No Age, which is to say, their sharp guitar riffage is submerged in a warm amniotic bath of buzzing drone. In her review of Mandatory Enjoyment, Jennifer Kelly observed, “Their songs offer a weird, intoxicating mix of judder and solace, like Clinic on a micro-dose.” Here all five members kick in a couple of cultural artifacts that make them happy.

Joe

The White Vault Podcast

I've been super into a couple cosmic horror podcasts recently, this and The Phenomenon have been favorites. The White Vault has four seasons, and is currently airing the 5th, and final season. The care in the production value with the voice actors, sound design and script are fantastic. The first season's opening credits get me every time. The story is kinda hard to explain, but it's very Lovecraftian, you care about the characters, and the reveals are all intriguing. I listen to this when I'm in bed getting ready to fall asleep. I just love it.

Time Wharp — Feel No Pain

I've found myself really drawn to Time Wharp's music recently, between the recent singles on Leaving records and her album Feel No Pain. The Leaving singles have been leaning more into the kosmische realm which I'm super into and very excited for an album length release of this vibe. Feel No Pain is much more ambient, new age and mellow. My husband (Alex, Dummys drummer) and I listen to it in the mornings while drinking coffee, but I've also listened on solo drives and walks. It's a beautiful, peaceful and contemplative listen. The textures and sound design are cosmic and very easy to let envelop you in bliss.

Mark

Ithaca — A Game For All Who Know (1973)

youtube

This album was created by a group of friends at their home studio where they produced records by their semi fictitious bands for the fun of it. Together Peter Howell, John Ferdinando and Lee Menelaus wrote A Game For All Who Know as Ithaca. A Game For All Who Know flows stylistically through baroque pop, folk and psychedelic rock with apocalyptic theming through a DIY soundscape. I find myself coming back to these recordings during wintertime in Los Angeles.

Mark Tester — Super Hiss (2020)

Mark Tester's Super Hiss is a delightful trip through home recorded psychedelic soundscapes akin to Kraftwerk's Ralf & Florian. Super Hiss is perfect for cleaning your room, organizing your belongings or just to sit and listen to. No matter how many times I put this on I always find new textures and patterns that jump out and resonate with me.

Emma

PBS Eons YouTube Channel

I’ve gotten into a habit of watching the videos on the Eons channel lately as I’m winding down for bed. It feels good to watch something genuinely educational. Paleontology and Biology have always been fascinating to me, but past high school, I had never taken it upon myself to educate myself more on those subjects... save for the occasional nature documentary. The hosts of this show have a wholesome, genuine, teacherly quality and the content doesn’t seem dumbed down. There is so much content out there specifically designed to entertain, or to make you laugh, but I think every single person on earth could stand to be a little more educated.

CathodeTV

For anyone into bizarre foreign films, B horror, found footage, lesser appreciated gems, etc. This is an online TV channel that live streams all of the above and more, continuously, 24/7. They often curate their days of programming around a single theme. Today, for example, is Time Travel. I’ve discovered a lot of cool things on this channel, and it’s just nice to know it’s always there. We can’t help it much now, but I’d rather not let algorithms curate what I watch. I trust CathodeTV to show me new and interesting things. Highly recommended.

Final Fantasy 7 OST— Nobuo Uematsu (1997)

youtube

JRPG soundtracks hold a special place for me. I believe this one is the most precious. I grew up playing through this story a few times and would always find myself passing time in different scenes blissed out to the music. The soft midi sounds and beautifully emotive compositions blend perfectly to match this story of this eco-terrorist group trying to save the world. A beautifully depressing masterpiece.

iPod Touch by Apple (2007)

Earlier this past year I found myself more annoyed and disconnected than I've ever been with how I keep and listen to music. I had been brainwashed by the Spotify corporation to listen to playlists they'd curate for me every week and I noticed myself falling into a deeper hole of unappreciativeness from all the terrible songs I'd heard. I ended up getting an iPod from Joe's stash and began a new chapter in my life. It really helps me keep music separate from the monotonous feeling of cell phones and the attachments we have to them.

Alex

Inoyama Land/Takashi Sekiguchi — Heart (2000)

youtube

I had never heard of this album before listening to it, stumbling on it while listening through the Inoyama Land catalogue. I don't know much about it. There's very little to find written about it online. Only ever released on CD, no reissues. And yet it's one of the most stunning ambient works I've ever heard. It floats effortlessly between glistening FM synth-scapes and ethereal organic strings and mallets. I've returned to it so much over the last couple years. I highly encourage you to find this and listen to it, and enter the dreamworld.

Solange — When I Get Home

youtube

When it originally came out, I felt somewhat underwhelmed by this record. But I had a funny feeling that I was missing something about it. So, when I put it on earlier this year after not hearing it for months, I was blown away by its deliriously surreal tone. This record does not hold your hand, it just opens the door for you to enter its murky, intimate world. Melody circulates through the songs but the understated instrumentals offer little popification. Instead, abruptness and dynamic shifts are embraced. It's a brilliant musical vision and it cements Solange as one of the greatest artist working in music today.

#dusted magazine #listed #dummy #the white vault #time wharp #ithaca #mark tester #PBS eons #cathode tv #final fantasy vii #inoyama land #takashi sekiguchi #solange

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melonnlordd · 5 years ago

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I have so many opinonsss

She-Ra Season 5 SPOILERS up ahead.

I'm going to start with the following:

This is my first original post. So, yay. It only took me 7 years to muster up the courage.

I understand and accept that people may have opinions/thoughts that are different from mine, and they're obviously just as valid.

I am up for friendly debates and exchanging of thoughts and opinions. Eg. "hey, catradora was so cool. But I don’t think I like the idea of Glimmer and Bow." To which I would respond saying "Why, yes friendo. Catradora was so cool. And while I ldidn’t thinkg Glimmer and Bow would be canon, I actually like them together."

I honestly don't expect anyone to read any of this, but I really needed to get this all of my chest because my lack of friends - who share my interests. I have friends. The three of them are great 👍😬👍- and the overall loneliness that's accompanying my quarantining was driving me crazy.

Hello, brave soul! If you read all that ^ and still want to see what I have to say, thanks bud! Without further ado, I present my mad-man ramblings and thoughts from various points of the day:

The part where Micah called Glimmer a failure and then she "sees" Angela and gets up again and does that badass mini monologue? First came the goosebumps, then came the free-flowing tears.

I kid you not, at that part with Adora’s future dream/vision? I couldn't breathe at all. And omg babies! They grew up so much!

I was half yelling affirmations throughout the whole thing! And full yelling at Horde Prime: "LEAVE THEM ALONE! THEY'RE KIDS!!"

Omg I love how Bow didn't really trust Catra all that much but he integrated her into the Best Friends Squad so quickly. I love their interactions. Bow and Catra would make such a great duo. I see it as like a Rosa and Terry type duo (from Brooklyn 99). And I died with episode 8, "Shot in the Dark". It's probs one of my favourite episodes.

Oooooooh my god. Wrong Hordak is me. I am Wrong Hordak. Best character ever 👌👌👌. And that episode where he learns to wink and he even tries imitating Bow when he's trying to be all innocent and question a shop owner person in Erelandia? The. Best.

Wrong Hordak is goaals. I one day hope to be cute as him.

Also, did anyone else think of Dan (as in Daniel Howell) with all the inappropriate winking and existential crisis and overall adorableness. (Tangent: I miss him)

Shadow Weaver? Duuuuudes when she took off that mask I choked on my tears!

Catra and Glimmer's interactions on Horde Prime's ship? Pulled at my heart stings👌👌👌👌

And duudes! Adora and Catra!!! The BIGGEST BEST THING EVER. I've high-key shipped them for soooo long. And Glimmer and Bow too! Although, I wasn't sure if that would ever be canon. They're cute and good and they deserve good things.

SEAMISTA! They were just so darn adorable! I love them.

Episode 7, "Perils of Peekablue" was amazing. Not only cause of Double Trouble and Scorpia’s singing, but those outfits!!! They were soooo cool! Mermista's in particular. I aspire to be that well put together, nail polish included. Speaking of outfits, Catra's ensemble in Adora's future dream/vision was awesome! As a nerd who loves suits and blazers, I will be trying on the down low to get these looks for myself. And if I manage to pull them off, you bet I'll be wearing them out as much as I can. (excuse me, I'm busy imagining myself hitting up McDonald's looking hella fine)

Adora’s new look.

I was so scared going into this season. I was scared they'd ruin Catra. Or pull a Legends of Korra at the end (I love Korra VERY much, so I feel a little weird about bashing it). BUT NAHHH! THEY DID US RIGHT! Nothing felt forced or unnaturally sped up to me. Catra and Adora BELONG together.

The whole time I was very scared they'd pull an Endgame and kill off someone and/orrr kill off their personalities/characters.

I'm not someone who's big on stuff where they push some sort of token character just for the sake of having it (eg. The token gay character), but I tend to I look past it. I’m also not someone who intentionally seeks out things that are known for doing it well. (Not sure if I’m making sense anymore, so haha) But THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS SOOO IMPORTANT! I actually feel represented in so many ways!! The levels of diversity are amazing and realistic and I love it. I get these characters. I see them everyday, in my friends, family, and definitely in myself. They all feel so real. I’m very pointedly not thinking about how season 5 was not only the best, but also the last.

Every time Catra had to face Horde Prime, I was sooo anxious for her!

And dudes, Kyle and Rogelio? Even that bit with them at the end. Love that there's no loose ends.

I want a Melog. Someone give me one. Melog is great.

That part where Bow sends out that mass message to all of Etheria? I felt soo proud! And there's even that shot where Bow's dad's are watching the message and it's amazing. Bow was so brave. They were all brave. Brave Babies.

And oooooohh god. The theme song. THE THEME SONGGGGGGGG.

I usually don't click with a protagonist. They're so righteous and nice and kind and good. I just couldn't relate to that. But I love Adora, and I understand her. I see where she's coming from and I see her reasoning. I love her so much and she's been through so much and I really want her to be happy. And I never found her annoying or bland like some protagonists are. She was so much more than the Hero. She was human and relatable.

I am feeling soo many things. Happiness. Melancholy. Giddiness. Sleep Deprived (the season was released at 3am for me). It’s been a great day.

#she-ra #she ra #spop #spop s5 #spoilers #spop spoilers #spop s5 spoilers #catradora #glimbow #glow #seamista

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dvp95 · 5 years ago

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quiet on widow’s peak (15)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 3.2k (this chapter), 49.6k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"So," Phil starts, and then pauses. He has no real idea how to say this.

His parents wait patiently for him to gather his thoughts and his mum mutes the telly. Having their undivided attention doesn't really help, it just makes Phil sweat a bit. He can't even bring himself to sit down, too wired with anxious energy as he is.

The video has only been live for a day, but it's already one of Phil's most popular. People are clamoring in the comments for more; demands for proof and simple curiosity about what could explain his experiences. He's already had a call from Martyn about the benefits of going back and doing an update, but PJ and Sophie have put their two cents in as 'absolutely not'. Chris offered a don't care and then asked for Phil's mum's lasagna recipe.

Phil wants to stay. It's not so much about the mystery, for him, but he's pretty sure his friends and maybe even his brother already know that. He's got his own reasons for not buying a train ticket the moment the video went live and asking his divisive audience what they wanted him to do. Yeah, he'd been sort of hoping for this outcome.

He's not sure if he wants to stay for himself, for the stagnation that being here allows him, or if he wants to stay for deep dimples and a nice laugh. Probably a bit of column A and a bit of column B, if he's honest with himself.

"I uploaded the video on this case," Phil tells his parents. "And there were a lot of, um, unanswered questions. Because of that whole thing with the footage."

"Phil," his dad says, exasperation in his voice already.

"And that means more money from one case," Phil presses on, "because I don't have many expenses here and the ad revenue was really good in comparison to my last five videos. Martyn really thinks I should look into this some more. I promise I won't be here for months or anything, I just - just give me another week. Please, I just need a week."

Money talk usually gets his parents to back down a bit, but they exchange a long look between them that convinces Phil it isn't going to work this time. His mind is already whirring quickly, trying to settle on arguments that it thinks might win him this battle. He considers telling them that this is more than just a video to him, that his whole future feels like it's resting on this one mystery, but he has a suspicion that they wouldn't be very impressed with that lack of foresight. He's ready to bring out specific numbers when their silent communication breaks and his mum gives him a small smile.

"Phil," she says, echoing his dad with a bit more warmth and a lot more pity. "You know we need to talk about this, dear, why don't you sit down?"

He shakes his head and shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets so they don't see the trembling. He's not scared, he's just anxious, and his brain and body are conspiring to make him feel like he's going to die if something unexpected happens.

Phil doesn't like change. He doesn't like seeing his childhood house like this, he doesn't like having his career up in the air, and he doesn't like the way his parents no longer trust him to do what's best for himself. The worst part is that he's not even sure they're wrong - Phil knows he isn't thinking logically right now, that Martyn is the one who even mentioned ad revenue while Phil was busy wondering how best to prove himself.

"I'm good," says Phil. He hopes that the nerves aren't as palpable as they feel to him.

"Okay, well," his mum says, briskly rearranging things on the coffee table like she has to be doing something with her hands while they talk about this. He's reminded a bit of Dan in the coffee shop, of Chris in the attic, and he wonders what it is about him that makes people need to split their focus like that. "Your dad and I have been talking."

"About how I need to grow up?" Phil offers, heart in his throat. It feels like he might laugh or cry at any moment. "Yeah. I've noticed."

"We're retiring, Phil," his dad says. That's not exactly news to Phil - he knows why they're selling the house, after all - but he bites his tongue and lets his dad speak. "We've understood the... unstable nature of your work for several years now, but we can't keep bailing you out whenever you have a bad month. You're a smart man and you've got a good degree, you should have something steadier under your belt."

"We love how creative you are," Phil's mum chimes in. It almost sounds like they've practiced this. Phil bites down harder. "And if you can channel that creativity in a way that isn't so dangerous, you'll have our full support."

Phil kind of wishes that he already had their full support, but he's already had this conversation with himself. The work isn't fun for him anymore, and the risk of getting arrested for trespassing isn't a low one. It's almost not worth it when he doesn't have that full-blown excitement about a case.

He doesn't need every haunt to have a nice ending wrapped up with a bow, but he does need to like the content he's producing. Otherwise there isn't any point to it.

Still. It sucks to hear.

Phil deflates a little bit. His automatic defensiveness that springs up whenever his parents start questioning his many bad decisions in life is fading to something that feels like bone-deep exhaustion. The anxiety is still there, thrumming under his skin, but there's nothing he can really do about that. The truth is that he's been feeling listless and defeated and trapped for a lot longer than he's been back in his parents' house. There's no real point in pretending otherwise.

"Give me a week," he repeats, quiet. "I want to finish this project either way, y'know? Just let me stay for the rest of this week and - and if it doesn't pan out, if I don't find anything new, then... then I'm done. I'll stop. I'll find something else."

"Are you sure, sweetheart?" his mum asks. The relief that pulls at her shoulders and her pursed lips is enough for Phil to be sure.

"Yeah," says Phil. He gives them a little shrug. "I'm comfortable with what I'm doing. I like making videos and exploring places with cool stories, and even talking to people has been getting better. But you're... you've got a point. I can't keep doing this forever. Not at the pace and quality I like to maintain. If this video goes well, it might help me break into a more diverse and less dangerous niche, which would make everyone happy, I think."

His dad nods at him. "Okay. You can stay until Sunday, because that's when we're going to the Isle. You can do whatever editing and post-production stuff you need to when you get back to Brighton. We'll expect a call when you know for sure what you're going to do, Phil."

Phil swallows, clenches his fists tighter in his pockets. "You'll be the first to know."

Nobody asks Phil to leave, but he can't stay in the aggressively neutral version of his parents' house and field their 'casual' questions about what sort of things he might want to do if YouTube doesn't work. He escapes to the city again, sending a message to Dan on the bus. Instead of asking if they want to hang out with him, he simply asks where he can meet them today. As if it's a given that they're going to be spending time together.

Maybe that's presumptuous of him, but Dan uses an exclamation mark when they reply, im at home!, so Phil thinks it's probably fine.

Dan meets him at the door this time, mid-ramble about the broken dishwasher in their flat as if social niceties are no longer expected of them. That suits Phil. He grins back at Dan and joins them in the small but tidy galley kitchen, letting Dan talk his ear off while they scrub at some discoloured Tupperware.

"Sorry," Dan interrupts themself, turning big and apologetic eyes on Phil like they've just registered that he's standing there. "I'm having a weird brain day. Bit all over the place, you know."

"That's fine," Phil says honestly. He smiles, because Dan doesn't look all that convinced by it. "No, really, I don't mind. I like listening to you talk."

The blush spreads across Dan's face too quickly for them to hide by turning away. They try, anyway, and Phil is left looking at their face in profile, turned down and rosy as it is. "Normally I at least break for breath. What's new with you?"

"Since two days ago?" Phil teases. Dan's dimple makes an appearance right before the smile splits their face, and Phil has to twist his own fingers together so he doesn't reach out and poke at it. He's still working through some stuff, still doesn't want to make any decisions about this without thinking it over carefully, but he's never been good at resisting temptation either. "Uh, not much. My parents are still on my case. I'm getting good feedback on the video, but you probably know that already."

"It was a good video," says Dan. They pause as they dry their big hands on an old tea towel. "I... appreciate you saying that stuff about me."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Dan meets his eyes again, almost stubbornly ignoring the colour in their own cheeks. "I can appreciate things that you think are true, dingus. Take the gratitude already."

Phil grins. "Never."

There are snacks after that and some video games that Phil loses spectacularly and some good ferret snuggles. As the afternoon turns to evening, Phil watches Dan rearrange some titles on the bookshelf as they chatter about one of their science-y classes, no longer self conscious about how much they're talking. He's sitting on Dan's soft, unmade bed with Pixel, who keeps rolling around in the sheets like she's trying to get comfortable.

Phil is already comfortable. It's hard for him to ignore that Dan's bedroom feels so much like a safe haven in the way that his old house no longer does.

At some point Dan gives up on whatever system they were trying to implement. They pick Tofu up off the floor and flop onto the bed with Phil, wiggling around in almost the exact same way Pixel had. Phil presses his lips together tightly so he doesn't laugh.

"I think that things can be improved," Dan is saying, and Phil tries to figure out if they're still talking about the environment or if Dan has picked up the loose thread from their earlier rant about Bethesda. Pixel and Tofu are both running around like Dan and Phil are just bony jungle gyms, and Dan barely even stutters when one of them steps on their nose. "Of course they can be improved, it's not something you just give up on when things get tough, but the problem is that the people in charge have to implement the changes that are necessary for improvement, and - ow, that's my ear, don't bite that - and, uh... where was I?"

"You were telling me about climate change," says Phil. "Or potentially Todd Howard's ambivalence towards a quote-unquote 'perfect game'. I honestly lost track."

For a moment, Dan is quiet. Phil's anxiety rears its head for the first time since he got here, but luckily he hasn't stuck his foot in his mouth this time - Dan starts laughing, more or less cackling, and they roll closer to Phil to bury their face in a pillow.

Phil grins and reaches out to tug at one of Dan's curls, fascinated by the way it just springs back into place. He's done this to PJ once or twice or six times, but he's usually had a couple drinks before he resorts to it. Dan comes out of hiding with tears of laughter welling up in their pretty brown eyes and their dimples in full force, grinning up at Phil like he's the funniest person in the world.

"Those are both really important issues," Dan says, trying their best to sound deadpan when they're so obviously gleeful.

They wiggle around again and Phil says, "You look exactly like Pixel when you do that."

He's pretty sure that Dan honks at that, but he's immediately distracted by a ferret trying to bite his eyebrow.

This is good. Phil likes this. He's trying to dig himself out of the mindset that he'd backed himself into when he first started noticing Dan, because PJ might have had a point. Okay, so PJ definitely had a point, and Phil has been a bit of an idiot.

He won't know for sure how Dan feels about him being gay and uncompromising about that fact unless he asks, and he doesn't think he's ready to do that just yet. But there's a rainbow flag on Dan's wall and they don't consider themselves not not a guy, so... Phil thinks that maybe he's been assigning a strictness to Dan's own relationship to gender and sexuality that isn't actually there.

Dan is talking again, to their ferrets this time, and Phil is almost overwhelmed by the force of affection that washes over him now that he isn't trying so hard to hold it back. Dan's leg is pressed against his own and they're holding Pixel up like they're playing airplane with her and Phil likes them so goddamn much.

"Did you want to," Phil starts, interrupting Dan's musing about what goes on in a ferret's tiny brain. Dan looks up at him with such genuine happiness on their face that Phil's words stick in his throat. He should be asking if Dan wants to go out for dinner again or if they've seen whatever blockbuster action film is playing in cinemas this week, but that's not what comes out of his mouth. When Dan raises their eyebrows quizzically, what Phil ends up asking is, "Uh, come spend the night in the haunted house with me?"

Great. Real romantic.

Dan doesn't make a secret about how much they hate this plan. They say it over and over, but they don't take any of the outs that Phil offers them.

"I hate this plan," Dan says as they make a bunch of sandwiches. It seems like way too much for just the two of them, but Phil isn't about to say no to having a near endless supply of peanut butter and bread when they're stuck in a dusty attic again. "This is stupid. You should have just left it at the first video, Phil, that was fine."

"You don't have to come with me," Phil reminds them for the umpteenth time.

Dan glares. "No, I'm coming."

"You're a very complicated person," says Phil.

With a heavy sort of sigh, like they've been dealing with Phil for years instead of a week, Dan finally sets the peanut butter down. "Look," they say, pointing the dull knife at Phil for emphasis. "I can hate this plan and still want to make sure you don't get fucking arrested or possessed or trip down the stairs or something. PJ knows where I live."

"I think he'd be in the camp of me deserving it if I died in the Wilkins place," Phil says, his lips tugging into a grin. "But thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," Dan mutters. "Will you at least tell me why we're going back? I know you're fucking stubborn and all, but I didn't figure you for someone who beats dead horses."

"Oh, that's a terrible idiom," Phil says, mostly to himself. He reaches out to squeeze Dan's shoulder when he sees them get all huffy at the apparent avoidance. The tension leaving Dan's body under his palm is frustrating to feel, because there's nothing Phil wants more than to lean into it. The problem, of course, is that he really does need to talk to Dan before he starts trying to hug them in their own kitchen. Phil lets his hand drop awkwardly between them and shrugs. "Well, uh. This is the first time in a long time I've actually been excited about a project. And that makes me think that maybe I've worn out my welcome here. Not... not here like Manchester here, but here like... my job, here."

Dan leans their hip against the counter and looks at Phil with their brow all furrowed. "This is an ultimatum," they say. "Like, to yourself."

"Yeah," says Phil. "I need to solve this - or at least find something else that I can show to people. Because if I don't, then I need to actually look at myself and admit I'm not doing something I like anymore."

"It sounds like you're already looking at yourself," Dan says quietly.

"I guess."

"No, you are," Dan insists, their voice stronger now that they can assert an opinion. "Trust me, I'm a pro at unproductive self-reflection and existentialism. Who am I, what does it all matter, I know the song and dance. And I don't think that getting more footage is going to erase what you're already thinking, Phil. Tell me if I'm out of line, whatever, but if you want to do something else with your life then just do something else with your life."

The automatic defensiveness threatens to make Phil snap back at Dan that this isn't any of their business, but he's had a lot of practice in keeping his negative thoughts to himself. He gives Dan a little humourless smile and shrugs his shoulders.

"You're twenty-one," Phil says. "And a student. I don't really expect you to get it."

Dan puts their hands on their hips like they're settling in for a proper row, but instead they just say, "I know. I don't know what you're going through, sure, I doubt anyone knows what anyone else is going through at any time. And, yeah, I've got another year before I have to worry about my career. But I've made some fucking tough decisions in my life, mate. I dropped out of my law course after two lectures. I don't talk to my family anymore. I've tried on so many different names and labels that it would make your head spin. You don't like your job anymore, and one video isn't going to change that."

"Yeah, probably not." Phil looks down at their little collection of sandwiches, feeling lost and stubborn and a bit scared about how much Dan sees him. "But I have to try, y'know? I can't just give up. I have to try."

There's a long moment of silence. Then, Dan sighs.

"Okay. Put these in a container, we don't use unnecessary plastic in this flat. Just whatever they fit in. I'll make some coffee for the road and find our Scrabble board."

#quiet on widow's peak #words words words

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welcometophu · 4 years ago

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Not Your Guardian Angel: Chapter 23

Marked Book 3: Not Your Guardian Angel

Chapter 23

[ Previous | First | Next ]

By the time Pels makes it from the car up to her room, she’s exhausted. She sinks onto the bed, letting Dad hold her up. “Fuck,” she mutters under her breath.

“Language,” Mom says, but there’s no heat behind it. When Pels looks, she almost seems to be smiling slightly as she looks around Pels’s room. “It’s not as tight as I thought it would be with three of you.”

“We’ve got the largest room on the floor,” Pels tells her. “Which is why it’s a triple, I think. Lately Nikita’s never here, and Jennifer prefers to study at the library, so I get a lot of time on my own. And I already told Jennifer that I’m not going to stay here for a little while, so she’ll pretty much have a single while I’m at Jess’s.”

It’s easier that way. Jess has a first floor single, and she’s more than willing to share. Pels is hoping that with fewer stairs, she’ll be less exhausted and achy. And maybe Jess will be nice and bring her breakfast in bed.

Of course, she has to pack a bag and get it all the way to Jess’s dorm, first.

Why is being a human so exhausting?

She flicks her fingers at the room. “Dad. Pack. Be helpful.”

“I’m not a servant,” he reminds her.

“God, I know that. Just. Be useful,” she whines. “I’m tired.”

“Is your dad ignoring you? I’ll help,” Cheyenne offers. “Where’s your stuff, Pels?” When Pels waves a tired hand towards her wardrobe, Cheyenne pulls open the doors, and finds the duffel Pels has stuffed in there for travel. She pulls it out and starts out by shoving in underwear and socks before she starts filtering through the clothes and laying out actual outfits.

It’s exhausting watching her, too.

“You don’t need to be that careful,” Pels tells her. “I can live in a t-shirt and jeans and hoodie.” She ignores the look Mom gives her, pleased when Mom doesn’t try to contradict her. “Seriously. You guys should go tour the campus while you’re here. I’ll take a nap or something, then we can head over to Jess’s after that.

“That’s not a bad idea. We didn’t get to move you in, so Cheyenne hasn’t seen the campus. And it’s been….” Mom’s voice trails off, and when Pels pushes to her elbows to take a good look at her, Dad’s standing by Mom’s elbow, almost but not quite touching her.

Something twists in Pels’s chest.

“I’m pretty sure that if you go walk around, you won’t get lost,” she says, a sudden frog in her throat making her hoarse. “I’ll send Dad along to keep track of you. Just. Follow your instincts.”

Mom freezes, looking around her. “I….”

“He won’t hurt you. He takes care of me. He’s always taken care of us,” Pels assures her.

“We can’t take too long,” Mom says, as if she’s talking to Cheyenne. “We have a long drive ahead of us.”

“Mm-hm.” Cheyenne bunches up the pile of outfits she’s picked out and shoves them into the duffel. “You need some of your high tops and one pair of your cool boots, and you’ll be fine. I’m going to go look around. This campus looks pretty cool.”

Pels falls back on the bed, waving at the door. “You should do the whole college tour kind of thing. I mean, it’s early, but why not? Stop at VIT on your way home, too.”

“Yes!” Cheyenne says loudly. She grabs Mom’s hand and pulls her to the door, stopping when she opens it and TJ is right there. He smiles that quick, charming smile full of bright teeth, and Cheyenne makes a low squealing sound as if she’s just bumped into a pop idol. “Hi!”

“You must be Pels’s family.” TJ stands out of the way, motioning them into the hall. “I just wanted to see how she’s doing. I’m TJ Howell, the RA for the floor. I wanted to make sure she has everything she needs.”

“I’m good,” Pels calls out. She doesn’t want to move right now, not when this bed is so soft and cushy and nothing’s beeping at her. “Mom. Cheyenne. Just go look around. There’s a good place to eat in the basement of the Madison student center if you get over there. They take cash. Cheyenne wants a cookie. Trust me.”

“It’s a four hour drive.” Mom hesitates, moving as Dad nudges her and Cheyenne pulls. “I guess we’ll take a quick look around. And get lunch.”

“I definitely want to stop and see VIT while we’re here. I mean, it’s forever until I graduate high school but it’s still really cool to get to see the campuses! Hi!” Cheyenne greets someone in the hall. “Wow, you’re tall.”

Alaric? Rory? Jackson? God, there are a lot of them on the hall. No wonder Pels always feels so damned short.

Well, she is short. But still.

TJ turns away. “Hey, Jackson. Can you show these guys around campus a little bit and make sure they get lunch at the ‘Skeller?”

Ah. Jackson then. Pels can’t hear his response, but she assumes it must be affirmative since she hears people on the stairs after that, and TJ is freed to slip into the room.

Pels closes her eyes.

“Did you need to sleep?” TJ asks. The scrape of a chair as he sits down.

“Mm.” Pels waves a hand. “If you realize I’ve fallen asleep just close the door on your way out. I’m awake for now.”

“I really did just want to make sure you’re okay. We heard about the accident, and I know Pat made it over there yesterday, but—” TJ’s voice cuts off abruptly.

He sounds far too choked up. Pels rolls onto her side, opening her eyes as she snuggles into her pillow. “I’m okay. It was a pretty bad accident but—” She takes a long inhale, trying to read TJ’s guarded expression. “I have a guardian angel after all. He made sure Jess and Shane were okay, and he helped make sure I didn’t break my neck completely when I flew. Or maybe I did, but it didn’t kill me, and they brought the Healers in.”

“My parents died in a car accident,” TJ says quietly. “They were coming to see me dance, and the car went off the road. Wrapped around a tree. No one drives much in the city, but we kept a car so they could go out to Jersey when they felt like it. I just took the train out when I needed. So I heard about the accident—”

“And it made you think of them.” Pels pushes up on one elbow. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

TJ blinks at her like he’s surprised she’s there. When he smiles, the sun shines into the room, his eyes crinkling. “I’m just glad to hear you’re okay. I’ve talked to the people on the floor who are around, but some of them went home with Alaric this weekend. Do you need anyone to help you out with anything? How long are you going to be out of class?”

Pels makes a face. “They said I should go to class tomorrow, but take it easy. Luckily it’s GM week so there won’t be much going on on campus, so taking it easy shouldn’t be that difficult. But they want me up and moving around.”

TJ’s expression eases from sunshine into something more serious. “Are you going to be okay with that?”

“I’m moving into Jess’s room for a little bit. She’s closer to the academic building, and she’s got a single on the first floor, which should help,” Pels admits. “I just need to finish packing—Cheyenne started—and carry some things over.”

There’s a knock before her door eases open, and Pat pokes his head in. “Oh, hey, TJ. Jackson yelled something about showing Pels’s family around campus, so I figured I’d—”

“Check in on me?” Pels finishes dryly. “I’m really okay. I swear.”

“She’s going to need help carrying her things over to Jess’s room, when she’s ready to go,” TJ says.

“I have Shane and Jess. I don’t need your help taking care of me,” Pels protests.

“This is what friends are for.” Pat sits on the edge of her bed and pats her head. “You’re stuck with us now. Besides. Sera’s away and I’m bored. Entertain me.” He whines at the last, but she can tell it’s for effect.

It makes her laugh, and from his grin, that’s what he was going for.

“I promise, I really am okay, but I’m thinking about taking a short nap before I go over to Jess’s,” Pels assures them both. “Maybe if you really feel like you need to do something, get in touch with Jess and Shane and tell them to show up here in an hour, then close my door so I can rest. Okay?”

“Okay.” Pat’s hand rests on her shoulder a moment before he stands. “I’m just glad you’re back.” He glances at TJ, who rises as well. They turn off the light and close the door on their way out.

The room is far from dark—dorms don’t seem to have curtains or decent blinds—but it doesn’t matter. Pels closes her eyes, and when she opens them again, Dad’s sitting in the chair on the other side of the room, and Shane’s just pulling back from brushing a kiss against her forehead.

“Hey,” he murmurs.

“You can turn the light on.” Pels sounds hoarse, but she feels more awake than she did earlier. She sits up, rubbing at her face as if she can erase the pillow crease from her skin. “Are you here to pick me up?”

“Not literally, unless you really do need a piggyback across campus,” Shane says. “Although I can’t promise I won’t drop you. I’m a little unsteady myself.”

Her gaze flicks to where his cane rests against the wall by the door. “Nah,” she says. “I wouldn’t do that to you. We can both lurch across campus arm in arm or something. Pat says he’s willing to play pack animal to help bring things there.”

“He told us that, too.” Shane offers a hand, and when Pels accepts it, he pulls her into a hug as soon as she’s on her feet. His arms go around her, holding on tight, his face pressed into the side of her head. “It feels really good to be able to do this,” he murmurs. “Not just because I like you, but because I’m just glad you’re here.”

Pels carefully slides her arms around him, letting her head rest against his shoulder. “I keep saying this, but I really am okay. I’m a little achy, and I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Like that thing when you get the flu and instead of getting congested you just want to sleep all day.”

Shane pulls back, one hand cupping her face. She looks up at him, watching the way his gaze drops to her mouth.

Oh.

“Unlike with the flu, I am pretty sure the tired isn’t contagious,” she says.

Dad snorts in the background, and she twists one hand so she can give him the finger behind Shane’s back. He can just shut up right now.

Besides.

Nothing really matters when Shane’s cradling her face so carefully, his lips just barely brushing hers. She tingles from head to toe, her mouth opening slightly, because oh, that really is nice. Different from Jess, yes, but still so very nice. When he pulls back, she reaches up, pulling him back down to her so she can chase another kiss from him.

He makes a low, pleased sound as he obliges.

Maybe this is a thing that will work.

The kissing is nice, anyway.

A book falls off her desk, and she startles at the sound of it hitting the floor. Her skin is flushed and warm as she slips back, putting space between them. “Maybe we should, uh—go?”

“Are you packed?” Shane asks, and Pels realizes that no, she really never did finish that.

It doesn’t take long to make sure her books are packed up for homework and classes, her laptop neatly stowed in the bag. She puts in some options for shoes, then fails to zip the duffel closed. It doesn’t really matter; it’s only for a few days and she feels like Cheyenne packed enough for a week.

Shane texts while Pels packs, and by the time she’s finishing up, Pat’s at the door and taking her book bag away from her. “You do nothing except walk,” Pat says firmly.

“Jess is at the room, but she and I are going to go out after we get you settled,” Shane says. Pat lifts the duffel and slings it across his body opposite from the books, while Shane offers Pels an arm.

By the time she makes it down the stairs, she’s grateful for the assist. Maybe she’s more tired than she thought.

Dad’s a help, too—a steady presence behind her when she feels like she could waver backwards. Between them all, Pels manages a slow pace across campus to Jess’s room. She collapses on the bed as soon as she’s there, falling backwards. She waves her fingers in the air. “Just go,” she suggests.

“I can stay with her if you guys want to go get whatever you were going to get,” Pat offers.

“I’m good,” Pels says. “Seriously. I just… want to close my eyes again for a little bit. And I’m hungry. And thirsty.”

Jess sets a water bottle on the bed next to her, then pauses to touch Pels’s face lightly. She hesitates, and Pels reaches up a hand to tug on one auburn strand of hair. “Go for it,” Pels says, and Jess closes the distance for a light kiss.

Yep. That one’s still good, too.

She closes her eyes and hears footsteps before the door closes. “They gone?” she asks.

“Is there a reason you want to be alone?” Dad asks.

“Not really. I’m just… tired. That wiped me out more than I expected and I do not know how I’m supposed to get to class and then stay awake through it tomorrow. Calculus is going to be horrible this week,” Pels whines softly. “Get the light. I just want to lie here for a while.”

Dad laughs. It’s a low, fond sound. She’d object, but he turns off the light and the pressure behind her eyes immediately eases. There’s a buzz from somewhere, and a thump on the bed next to her.

“Mm, thanks.” She reaches out blindly, fingers wrapping around her phone.

Okay, so, PHU was cool, right? But VIT IS AWESOME. Like, Pels, this PLACE.

It’s funny how Cheyenne’s texts read exactly like her voice.

You toured here before you left, and you’ve already seen VIT? How long did I nap? she sends back.

We’re grabbing dinner at some dive diner around the corner from VIT and mom’s complaining about how late we’ll be getting back home, Cheyenne tells her. Dad’s pissed. She had to walk out to talk to him, but I heard him first.

Pels can imagine. She presses her lips together, and doesn’t say anything, hoping that Peter doesn’t do something to take it out on either Cheyenne or Mom. Don’t let him make your life miserable, she sends.

I could make his life miserable in return.

Pels winces. Yeah, no, don’t do that. So. You liked VIT?

IT IS AMAZING. They have this really cool theater. And I saw posters everywhere for a ballroom dance club and I want to learn ballroom dance. I looked online and they have a gymnastics club. It’s not like a really competitive team but I could still do it. This campus just really feels like home, Pels. Like it’s a home I’m supposed to be at.

Pels can’t argue with that one. She didn’t come see PHU before applying, but she hasn’t regretted it. Despite how difficult it is to deal with people sometimes, this place does feel good to her. It’s nice being somewhere that accepts… everything. I get it.

I figured you would mom’s back gtg bye

Well, that’s abrupt. Pels wonders if Mom’s in a sour mode, and hopes the drive home isn’t miserable.

She lets her hands fall out to the side, the phone warm and heavy against her palm.

Oh.

It’s Sunday.

She was supposed to do something yesterday.

She opens up a different conversation and sends, I missed your meet. I’m sorry. We got in an accident.

You what? Are you okay? I’m calling you, let me just get out of here, hang on.

Her phone rings seconds later, and she picks it up quickly. “I’m okay, Nate, I swear. Mostly, anyway.”

“I didn’t even know.” He sounds breathless and she can imagine him pacing, and the distress in his expression. “I wasn’t looking in the stands yesterday. Cass wasn’t there because we were all out in Haverhill for this thing at Alaric’s parents’ place. Dax and I drove back for the meet then went straight back out there. It’s been a crazy weekend. No one told me you were in an accident. I had no idea.”

“Some idiot crossed the yellow line to pass and we couldn’t avoid the accident. Jess and Shane are totally fine. I got tossed and spent some quality time with the Healers, but I’m doing okay now. Out of the hospital and everything,” Pels assures him. “I don’t think they would’ve let me leave if they were still worried. It happened Friday night.”

“I missed everything,” Nate mutters. “It’s been—it’s been kind of chaos here. I came because I wanted to be moral support for Dax and Cass. I’m not sure I even know what’s going on, fully. It’s something about those guys Nikolai and Seth, from that other world, and something about healing the Split.”

“Is that what Professor Szczek’s been so wrapped up in?” Pels asks, because that part seems like it might be right. “And something to do with what happened to Nikita?”

“Yes, exactly.” There’s a moment of silence, then Nate says quietly, “They talk about it like they’re going to save the world. Apparently it’s ending?”

“I—” Pels opens her eyes and looks at the room around her. It seems solid enough. “I hope not. I’m only just figuring out how to live in it.”

“Glad to hear that.” She can hear the smile in his voice. “I’m sure they’ll make sure it sticks around for you. How are things going with Jess and Shane?”

“I may have kissed Jess,” Pels admits shyly. “I’ll send you a picture of the mark sometime. It’s different. It’s all still very weird, and we still have a lot of talking to do. Figuring things out. How are things with Dax?”

“Heartbreaking.” His tone is light, but she feels the weight of the world. “It’s okay. I know where I fit into this, and if he’s my friend, that’s fine. I’m getting along better with Cass, so that’s good.”

“Good.”

Pels slowly manages to work her way into a sitting position. She’s less tired now, just from resting a few minutes, and she feels like she could even get up and go do something if she had to. Instead she sits cross-legged and puts the phone down, on speaker. “Okay. So. Talk to me, Nate. Tell me all about your weekend. What’s it like out there?”

“So many Clan, and I feel like I was the only non-Talented person around for miles,” Nate admits. “Settle in, Pels. I have so much to tell you.”

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #not your guardian angel #phu marked #marked

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phanfictioncatalogue · 11 months ago

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House Party Masterlist

An Experiment Gone Right - phansomedevil

Summary: At a party, Phil suggests an experiment to test if he and Dan really are 100 percent platonic. What, after all, would happen if they kissed?

Angel Baby (ao3) - bestelitecouple

Dan and His Butterflies (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Very basic: Dan is terribly in love with Phil (the sporty jog). So much so, that Dan joins the school's sports team to be closer to him. As Dan awkwardly stumbles around, Phil starts to take notice of him. A party takes place and who knows what a drunk Dan might do...

Don't You See Me? (ao3) - jfcmartin

Summary: Phil is terrified of confessing his feelings for Dan, but will he find the strength to do so in a room full of drunk and horny teenagers?

Empty Double Cups - cafephan

getting something out of nothing (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: Unfortunately, the anxiety comes back almost instantly when Dan asks his next question: “When’s the first time you figured out you liked guys?”

he must've forgot to close his door (ao3) - deletable_bird

Summary: The room is dim, Dan is drunk, he’s got lipstick in his hand, and Phil is sat beside him, nearly in his lap. What is he supposed to do? Fluff, 1.1k

Kiss Me Hard (ao3) - Lesterlockian

Summary: It all started at a house party when a drunk Dan made a move on a boy named Phil. They meet again but can Phil trust this boy to love him, or is he just another game?

Lost Love (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil used to be the best of friends, both harbouring intense feelings for each other, but when they went their separate ways for university, they drifted apart. Six years later, Phil still has a slither of hope that he will see his best friend again one day. When Phil's friends drag him to a party, fate seems to be on his side.

No One Has To Know - phan-panda

Summary: A house party takes an interesting turn for Dan and Phil when they are dared by a rather rude party-goer to play a game of 7 minutes in heaven together.

No They’re Not (ao3) - bandhoez9194

Summary: Against Phil’s better judgement, Dan goes to a small house party with friends. He had been assured by both Dan and the party host that there would be no alcohol after all.

Unfortunately, someone else has a change of plans and gets Dan drunk anyway. Which makes him start talking about buttholes and storage places.

When Phil picks him up though, things get soft, steamy, and bendy, just like the spaghetti he left on the stove.

Our Wildest Dreams Came True (Not One of Them Involving You) (ao3) - roryonice

Summary: Based on Misery Business by Paramore. Dan has a crush on Phil and always flirts with him at parties, and Phil hooks up with someone else to make Dan jealous.

Party (ao3) - xDeathMelodiesx

Summary: A shooting breaks out at a house party while Dan and Phil are locked in a closet, fearing for their safety.

Party - for good boys only - elliesfics

Summary: Dan and Phil are reluctant stepbrothers soon to be strangers. When Dan’s father decided to marry Phil’s mother, no one could have predicted the marriage ending in flames only a few weeks later. The two boys who avoided each other at all costs during the marriage are brought together one last time before they part ways forever. Phil hates Dan. Dan can’t stand Phil. But what happens when a house party goes terribly wrong and they end up needing each other more than their parents ever did?

Phil Lester's One Rule (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil Lester has a rule. He never cheats. But it doesn’t seem to count when there’s alcohol and Dan Howell involved.

Tastes Like A Sonic Boom - literaryphan

Summary: there’s a house party and there’s dan and maybe the combination of those two things isn’t such a good idea, and also, maybe the term wish i was invisible gets a literal twist.

Tequila Makes His Clothes Fall Off (ao3) - philcantwerk

Summary: Dan and Phil go to a house party and all escalates from there (smut)

Unexpected Moments (ao3) - PhancyPhandom

Summary: A self indulgent Teenage AU oneshot for my first fic posted here!

Dan meets Phil at a house party, and while he usually doesn't look for anything more than a quick hookup, Phil might be making him feel things he hasn't felt, ever.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #houseparty #houseparty masterlist #party

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dyxnamicart · 5 years ago

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my stupid highschool oneshot thing

look im not a writer, (I used to be when I was fourteen, haven’t done it since then so ya know, you dont use it you lose it lmao)

Anyways this has been highly requested that I post it, im a bit mad because its not exactly how I wish their dynamic was, I’m not great at writing banter (or anything i’m an artist now plewse) but ya know Also DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction, it in no way reflects real life Dan and Phil (In fact my au switches up their personalities a fair bit) and do not tag them okAY P E O P L E They dont wanna see it and I dont want them to see it (Even if this isnt a particularly shippy piece lmao people are getting very angsty as of late) I also don’t have an editor so sorry for any mistakes Anyway here ya go heathens

Dan didn’t notice the opposing teams jock barrelling towards him, not until his leg had swept under his own, causing him to fly through the air, ball no longer in his possession.

In fact it all flew by in a matter of seconds. Dan didn’t really have time to process exactly what was happening until he felt the shock of pain that travelled up his wrist and down his arm as he landed heavily onto it, crying out as he rolled once or twice before coming to a stop… He couldn’t really tell. There was a whistle blow, but the bustling around him seemed dull in comparison to the loudness of the pain in his wrist.

He hissed as he was righted, pulled up and put steadily on his feet, being ushered to the benches, it only felt like five minutes before the game was back on course, bar Dan to be left on the sides, a few claps on the back from his teammates as he let his head come down from the spinning it was doing.

The nurse on staff did a pretty shoddy job of bandaging, but to her credit she did ask if he wanted an ambulance. If his dad knew an ambulance was called because he hurt his wrist... he didn’t even want to imagine the searing look of disappointment he would receive.

So he just declined.

The game was one of the final ones of the season, they were playing against the local private school, which had a surprisingly amount of suspiciously beefed up kids, though with private school money Dan wasn’t surprised they probably had some ins with the law and extra ‘help’.

He really wanted to play in the final, in fact his coach had even been considering him for the team, not that Dan was amazing at football, but he wasn’t the worst. He was passable at best, probably why his parents weren’t here right now to witness the semi, something he supposes he should be counting his lucky stars for now he had an injury as mediocre as a sprained wrist, but now there was a nagging pull in his gut of his own disappointment.

He waited out the game on the bench, figuring he should at least be there for his team for the results, even with a sprained wrist he didn’t want to run away without at least talking to a few of his mates afterwards.

Phil didn’t see the tumble.

He was perched up in the bleachers, trying to ignore the way the mild and darkening sky had began to stew whipping winds that tore right through the threads in his sweater, by sketching insurmountable things he could see.

He didn’t usually go to games, not only was it not his scene, but he would either end up insanely bored or find his eyes following Dan Howell’s god damn limber body. But this was the semis, and he totally wasn’t here to occasionally glance at a certain panting number 91, he at least wanted to show his support for the school. It wasn’t his fault this game was boring and his sketchbook looked far more inviting.

He only looked up when there was a big murmur and gasps coming from the crowd around him, and he couldn’t see who it was at first, but there was a boy sprawled on the ground.

It didn’t take long to figure out it was Dan, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply, closing his sketchbook and shoving it into his bag. He ended up walking down a few rows in the bleachers, just trying to see if the daft idiot was okay, and he sat down again much closer. The nurse did an awful job at bandaging his hand, he could see that from here, and he would have to fix it after the game. Well.. he didn’t have to, of course, but he figured Howell was too much of an airhead to fix it properly and as much as the other grated on him he at least wanted him to be comfortable.

When it came to the end of the game, Phil’s school lost, and there was a brief celebration for the other school as they paraded off the field, while Dan’s team just huddled around to talk to the coach and then walk to the locker rooms, obviously trying to act casual even if they had essentially just been eliminated from the finals.

Looking around, a lot of the families and students were milling out, many of them disappointed by the outcome of the game.

This was their star team, and there had been a surprisingly large turnout for the event, to have it all end this anticlimactically felt a bit wrong, if he was being honest, even if sports definitely weren’t his thing.

Phil headed down towards the locker rooms, some of the boys were already heading out, chatting and bumping into each other as they walked. Boys were talking, over half of them shirtless. He tried to avoid looking at them, while Phil had come to terms with his sexuality internally, he wasn’t out to his school, despite the obvious digs lots of the jocks and ‘cool kids’ would make. He wasn’t exactly subtle.

Dan hadn’t noticed him, he was sitting on a bench and chatting to a teammate, but some of the boys closer to the entrance had.

“Ay! It’s Danny’s little bitch, what’s new Lester?” A boy Phil knew as Jason laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders, leaning heavily on him.

Phil grunted, and shoved him off. “I’m not anyone’s bitch. Especially not Howell’s.”

There was an ‘oo’ that rippled through the boys, and it was safe to say that Dan had noticed him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and stood up.

“A teacher told me to help Dan.. carry his stuff with his hand like that.” He faltered off, because that half baked excuse really did make him sound like someone’s bitch. But by this point people were beginning to lose interest and ended up either packing up to leave or going back to chatting amongst themselves about a hot girl or something Phil honestly couldn’t care less about.

Phil walked towards Dan, throwing on a mastered look of indifference and annoyance.

“What are you doing back here?” The brunette sighed deeply, running his good hand through his hair. “As if I don’t already get clowned on enough from seeing you during actual school hours.” He said dryly.

Phil rolled his eyes. “I saw that sad excuse for a nurse ‘wrap’ your hand. I’ve seen children under the age of 4 wrap toilet paper around themselves better.”

Dan groaned as he fell back to his sitting position on the bench. “Good deed Lester huh? You aren’t a guardian angel you know.”

“Are you going to turn down actual help with that wrist, Howell. Seriously.” He dropped his bag on the ground, and knelt down, ignoring the few whistles he got from the people still in the room.

Dan rolled his eyes as he looked down at Phil, arched eyebrow and holding his injured wrist with his hand, like he didn’t trust him. “Fine.” He sighed, setting his hand down on his leg, looking down at Phil with a suspicious and unless he was imagining it, flushed face.

Phil carefully lifted the brunettes injured hand, frowning at the small pang of guilt he felt when Dan hissed in a sharp breath, quiet, as if being a little louder would shatter his reputation in one fell swoop.

By now the locker room had basically emptied out, Dan’s mates sauntered away, hefting their heavy gym bags over their shoulders as their voices echoed down the hallway and slowly faded into the cool night air.

Dan and Phil sat in silence for a few moments as Phil examined the bandage. Dan seemed to relax a little, and he allowed the feeling of calm to wash over them now there was no eyes examining their every move. The indifference and hostility seemed to drain from the air.

He didn’t know if it was the late night game or the lack of people, but he felt as though he was back before highschool, back before their fall out. Before their life became a series of quips and tension seeping into the fond memories he once had for the boy in front of him.

“Why do you play, when you end up hurting yourself like this?” His question was genuine, none of the concealed fire that was usually behind his voice when he talked to Dan.

Phil used his other hand to unroll the bandage. He had seen the first aid kit it came from, the contents being the single bandage, two band aids and a single cotton swab. Not the most ideal for a sport like this, hands on and physical, but their school wasn’t really known for their state of the art resources.

Dan looked unsure of whether or not he should give a witty response or answer seriously. In the end he seemed too exhausted to spit out a clever one liner. So he opted for the truth.

“I don’t know..” Dan huffed a breath out of his nose, like he was out of practice with talking about his emotions. “The guys are cool.. people like a jock you know?” He pauses for a moment, like he was struggling with whether or not he wanted to continue. “And I kind of want my dad to be proud of me? You know my dad. I want him to think.. I’m one of the lads. One of the boys.. not a royal screw up son.” He snorted, good hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to play off his words as ridiculous.

But Phil didn’t laugh.

“Proud of you?” He repeated, slightly quieter as he slowly started to wind the bandage around Dan’s stiff wrist.

Dan shrugged, looking away and seemingly focusing on a spot far across the room, like he was trying to be anywhere but here, talking to a friend who had been distanced by time and change.

But Phil remembers, he remembers his curly brown hair bouncing around when he was excited, when he was jumping around playing cops and robbers, he remembers his loud and boisterous laugh and the way his cheeks dimpled and filled with colour. He remembers a time when he knew the boy in front of him more then he knew anyone in the world. When he thought Dan was his forever friend and that nothing would ever change that.

Guess something changed.

“You know I’m proud of you,” He continued, not looking up from bandaging. He could feel Dan’s eyes on him now, he could feel the incredulous and doubtful eyes bore into his skin, see into his soul. He didn’t seem to have expected an actual answer in response. “I’m proud of you when I see you play piano. When I see your eyes light up and when you lose yourself in the keys. When you recite dumb Shakespearen poetry and when you are on stage commanding the spotlight, when the only person who matters is you. That’s what I’m proud of. That’s what makes me think, THIS is Dan Howell. THIS is who he is meant to be. Not a shallow jock with a sharp tongue and attitude. I’m proud of the real you.”

He clipped the bandage pin on the end of the roll, now safely locked on Dan’s wrist, and he went to pull his hand away but was stopped by a hand placed over his.

Dan’s eyes were how he remembered, not in way they were for the past two years, glazed over as he tried to cram his way into a puzzle he didn’t fit into, but filled with an unfathomable tenderness and something he couldn’t quite put his finger on

They didn’t need to exchange words, the soft smile Dan gave him spoke a thousand words, making up for time that felt lost before now.

He stood up, finally dropping Phil’s hand and grabbing his jacket off the bench. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

Their silence was welcoming as they walked down the hall towards the exit. The last few years had been full of quips and jabs, fast insults and banter that sometimes toed the line as not quite friendly. This silence, it was new, but it felt right. Dan couldn’t quite understand, but there was a shift that felt comfortable.

Dan had known Phil a long time, longer then anyone in this god forsaken school. He was quiet and reserved and he enjoyed painting and drawing. He was creative, and he didn’t care what people thought of him. He was unapologetically himself, and that was something that he only wished he could be.

For the longest time it was him and Phil. Dan and Phil against the world, playing Mario cart and watching shitty movies, always at each other’s houses like they belonged together.

Then high school happened.

The desire to fit in hit Dan like a ton of bricks. While Phil was content to remain a Mario kart loving geek, Dan couldn’t stand being the butt of the joke. He couldn’t stand his dad being disappointed whenever he brought Phil home to do something nerdy. As the years went by it became a sort of crutch for him and Phil to make snide remarks at each other as they passed in the halls, glaring across the halls and that’s how it stayed.

Don’t get him wrong, he loved to see Phil riled up. He loved to see his eyebrows furrow together and his eyes roll. His arms crossed and his posture unimpressed. If anything that was his favourite part, the way his voice flooded with heat and passion, as he stared at him with the intensity of a bonfire. He loved to tease him and play his surprisingly short temper like a fiddle.

But he wasn’t attracted to him. No way. Phil wasn’t a pretty girl. He did NOT find his eyes pretty and the way his hair sometimes fell into his eyes and his hands didn’t itch to run his hands through it.

He was straight. He had to be.

His heart dropped a little, and he couldn’t explain why, but he looked over at Phil, who was walking beside him.

They were outside now, and it was raining, not too heavily but enough to get you fairly wet. Despite the fact Phil was wearing a sweater and long overalls, he could see him shiver, the fabric of the sweater probably allowed the biting wind to nip tight through it.

He shrugged off his jacket, and gently wrapped it around Phil’s shoulders, forcing them to stop momentarily. The street light cast a soft light over them, and his eyes met the other boys, and for a moment they stared at each other, Dan watching as raindrop followed the contours of Phil’s face, a drop following his cheekbone and the slope of his jaw.

He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck again as he started walking. “Okay okay, lets get you home, Lester.”

“Are you sure you aren’t cold?” Phil enquires inquisitively as he sped walked a bit to catch up with him.

He shrugged. “Still running on adrenaline I guess.” It was a lie, he was slightly cold. But it felt right, and he continued to walk with him in silence.

Phil was holding the jacket around himself as they approached his house, and they stopped just under the porch, the light flickering on to illuminate his face.

Dan stuffed his good hand in his pocket, and he clicked his tongue as Phil went to shrug off the jacket to give back. “Nah, wash it first, don’t want your nerd germs on my clothes.” Despite the insult, he found himself smiling warmly, and Phil too just chuckled.

“Alright, I’ll give it to you on Monday or something, Howell.”

Dan saluted as he turned to walk away, and he could feel Phil staring through his back as he walked back into the rain. They were only a street apart, but he knew that was going to be one long walk.

#mine #stick to drawing Hayley u idiot #ur right i should #but this only spawned at like 2am so im sorry #highschool au

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paradisobound · 5 years ago

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Sail Away With Me

Summary: It was a fluke. Dan shouldn’t have ever gone with Sam to a party on a yacht. He shouldn’t have trusted her to go. But in a chance encounter, he ends up in bed with Phil Lester, a billionaire CEO of a luxury clothing company. When he thinks he’s screwed up enough, he realizes he’s in way too deep. Because Phil Lester has fallen in love with him. The catch: Dan gave Phil a fake name and all Phil has to remember Dan by is the tattoo on his hip and the necklace he left behind.

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Brief drug and alcohol mentions and an explicit sex scene

Pairing: Instagraminfluencer!dan and CEO!Phil

This is a chaptered work. Updates every Monday around 1pm EST

**Masterlist | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad**

Dans POV:

It was just after midnight on July 22nd. The stars were shining bright over the Amalfi Coast and Daniel Howell was stood at the railing of a yacht that he didn’t even know existed until two hours before. It’s rocking, a constant back and forth motion that was actually calming for his nerves.

Maybe he was out of place being here. He kind of felt it.

His indie brand swim trunks and last year Gucci shirt was enough to show that he didn’t quite belong in the same scene as the new Versace and Dolce and Gabanna swim suits everyone else was wearing. Even the ones that opted on just wearing the bottoms and not the tops. Dan doesn’t believe he’s seen so many naked females in his life until tonight.

Was this normal?

He wasn’t entirely sure.

He had a drink in his hand that he didn’t even want and the air was kissing his skin just enough to make him feel cold. He found this ironic. How could he be chilly in July in Italy?

Just for that thought, he takes a sip of the drink and winces at the strong taste of coconut and rum. He doesn’t even like coconut. He doesn’t even remember why he grabbed it. He just knew he needed a strong drink to make it through the night if his friend Sam was dragging him to this lavish party.

Speaking of, Dan doesn’t even remember where Sam went. He looks around both sides of his shoulders and takes note of how he doesn’t see his redhead mate standing anywhere near him. She’s probably off making connections with other men—or women. Sam wasn’t picky but yet again, Dan wasn’t really either.

Although, his plans tonight didn’t include fucking some random bloke on a yacht with the hope he might become his sugar daddy. As much as he would love to find a rich guy to pay his way through life, Dan is doing semi-fine with his partnerships on Instagram. Although they’re not paying nearly as much as he needs to help furnish his lavish trips.

The yacht is still slowly moving along the coast and if he looks out, he can see the lights of the houses and hotels blinding him in the distance. He lets out a long sigh, breathes back in the air, and finishes the rest of his cocktail in one gulp, wincing at the taste as it goes down. He’s no longer finished with the empty glass when another server is coming up to him, taking the glass, and giving him a new one.

This drink is peachy colored. He takes a sip and smiles. It takes like mango and melon with a hint of something strong. He much prefers this.

The music is still banging on the yacht and if he looks around, he can see the strobe lights of the boat bouncing every which way. Maybe if his anxiety hadn’t told him he needed fresh air, he would be downstairs with everyone else and maybe he could find Sam before she made some mistake that would surely be on a tabloid tomorrow morning. In fact, he’s sure if he looks on Twitter now, it would be a new moment saying ‘Paumpau Hotel Heiress, Samantha Pamupau seen partying on CEO Phil Lester’s Private Yacht’.

Dan doesn’t even know what Phil Lester looks like. He knows that sounds probably unbelievable but Dan doesn’t pay attention to much news. He doesn’t follow anyone other than top celebrities on Twitter. When Sam mentioned partying on a billionaires yacht, Dan just agreed and purchased his first Gucci shirt that night—ironically the one he is wearing currently.

He jumps just as soon as someone shouts something in Italian in the other direction and then a loud moan follows and fuck he needs a drink again. He takes a long sip and fights the cloudy feelings filling his head.

He reaches up and twists his necklace in his fingers. He always did this when he got anxious. It was just a small chained necklace his grandma had bought for him as a child. He’s had to replace the chain over the course of a few years but he’s never parts with it. It’s a part of every outfit.

Dan steps back from the railing long enough to head back inside the second story of the yacht. It’s not as busy up here, but he does take note of the person sitting on the couch with a bunch of other people, hunched over the table in front of them as they snort up white powder. He just looks the other way and continues on downstairs.

Dan sees Sam in the corner with another female, both of them handsy with each other as they down the rest of there cocktails and he pretends to not notice that Sam’s hand is essentially down the bottoms of the other but he’ll just turn the other way again and walk off.

As he turns, he slams into something and gasps as the cool liquid of his drink splashes against his chest. “Fuck,” he murmurs. This was his good Gucci shirt and now it’s covered in orange liquid. If he wasn’t slightly tipsy, he might have tried to find an unoccupied bathroom to wash it off.

“Are you okay?”

Dan lets out a sigh. He’s sobered up a bit now and he’s suddenly realizing how uncomfortable of a situation he’s probably just put himself into. He’s on a rich guys yacht and he just ran into someone and fucked his shirt up. Not to mention he thinks the glass just shattered on the floor—and yep, it has he confirms in his head as he looks down at the broken glass at his feet.

Of course his luck would run this way. And he didn’t even take any photos from tonight either to post on his Instagram. Go figure.

“I mean, my shirt is ruined,” Dan says, his words a mumble under his breath.

“It was last years anyway,” the man says, his voice a bit high pitched. “I’m sure you can get a new one tomorrow that is from this season.”

Dan just shrugged.

“Do you want help getting cleaned up?” He continued, lending out his hand. “I have a private bathroom this way that you can wash up in. Get the smell of the Peach Bellini from your shirt.”

Oh. It was a Peach Bellini…oops.

So much for the mango and melon he thought he tasted earlier.

“It’s not a problem,” Dan says. “I don’t need to clean it off. It actually looks a bit cooler this way.”

The man lets out a snort and reaches up, running his hand through his hair.

“Such a shame,” the male continues. “My plan didn’t work to get you half-naked.”

Dan looks up from where his hands are trying to smooth out the wet patch on his shirt. He cocks an eyebrow up and looks the man up and down. Sharp pants, fully ironed Versace top, clearly this seasons. Glasses sit prettily on his face that’s a sculpture of sharp, jutted cheekbones.

“Why? Is that something you’d want?” Dan asks, deciding to play along.

The male was beautiful, actually quite breathtaking. He knows he said earlier that he wouldn’t want to sleep with a random bloke but maybe plans change. And maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t mind crawling into bed with this random bloke.

“Is it something you’d want?” The man asks, reaching out his hand again and touching Dan’s arm with the lightest touch.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Where do we go?” Dan asks, biting his lip with a smirk playing on his lips.

“Follow me.”

Dan follows the man down a small path until they reach a set of doors and Dan swears he doesn’t believe he’s still on a moving boat and he’s not in some penthouse somewhere in London. The male pushes the door open and he’s being lead into a bedroom with beautiful decor and a round bed in the center, covered in pillows and various other decorations.

But it was nearly pitch black. All that he could see or make out was from the light of the windows from the yacht and the moon in the sky hanging over them. When he looks up at the male, all he can see is the reflection of himself and the blue eyes staring back at him.

The man turns Dan and suddenly he’s on the bed on his back and his shirt is being removed and tossed to the floor as their lips connect quickly. It feels real, it feels right. He feels the fire burning under his skin and the itch crawling up his spine.

As the man lowers his shorts and leaves him fully naked, he touches a spot on Dan’s hip and Dan hears him speak softly. “This is the prettiest little tattoo although your skin is much too pretty to be marked up forever.”

Dan forgets about his tattoo most of the time. If he’s being honest, he regrets getting it in a lot of ways. But when he was 18 and a few drinks in, he thought getting a tattoo of a delicate rose on his hip was a great idea.

“I was young.”

“How young?”

“Eighteen.” Dan answers, letting his words get lost against the other males.

“And how old are you now?”

“Twenty five.”

“Still young.”

Dan just chuckled against his lips and connected them again as they got more and more heated.

Maybe in hindsight, this was never Dan’s best decision. He should know better than sleeping with a random man at a party. But when a man this attractive begins to swoop in and steal him over, he can’t help but be ready to spread his legs and let the man do what he wants to.

So that’s what he does.

He moans louder than he should. His breaths get caught in his throat and the male is just so good at this. Good at sex. The way he moves, the way he touches. Dan has never felt so good in his life and he begins to feel a bit addicted to the feeling. He presses all of Dan’s buttons in the best way possible. He’s relentless, his thrusts not stopping in rhythm.

When he climaxes, his whole body feels it. His back arches and his arms go rigid as they grip at the sheets. His mouth opens in a silent moan as it’s caught by the mans expert mouth. When it’s over, the man fucks him a bit longer before pulling out and finishing across Dan’s stomach.

It’s dirty. It’s raw. When it’s over, Dan doesn’t feel as great as he did when it began. Guilt and shame begins to eat away at him at how easy he was to fall into bed with this random stranger who he will never see again.

The man kisses him for a little bit longer than Dan would like but he can’t deny that the sparks aren’t still there. It’s like fireworks are constantly going off above his head and he’s feeling the electricity in his veins.

But then when it’s over, it’s over. And Dan collects his soiled shirt and swim trunks and leaves the bedroom as the man begins to put his own clothes back on. He’ll probably bring another person into the room after Dan leaves and for some reason, that thought leaves Dan feeling a pit of vulnerability in his core.

Just as he’s about to open the door, the man stops him. “What’s your name? I didn’t get it.”

Without even thinking, Dan looks at the man and says. “Ethan.”

Then he opens the door and walks out. Ignoring the pang in his chest that told him it was a mistake giving the man a fake name.

The yacht is docked when he gets out and he manages to find Samantha outside against a railing with another handsy female. He wrenches her away from the girl with an apology and she shoots the girl an apologetic glance as they leave off the yacht and make their way past all of the people staring and getting photos of the party that was still in full bloom.

When they’re safely away from the water and about to get into a cab to head to one of Sam’s many family homes, Sam asks him, “What made you leave so fast? Something happen.”

Dan shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. His shirt was no longer wet but it was definitely stained and it definitely reeked of bad alcohol now.

“I saw you go to bed with Phil Lester.” Sam said, hitting his arm. “Were you not going to tell me this?”

“I didn’t go into bed with Phil Lester,” Dan counters. “I don’t even know who he is.”

Sam turned to him, her eyes comically wide. “You’re yanking my leg.”

“I’m not yanking anything!”

Sam suddenly pulled out her cell phone and unlocked it to do a quick google search of ‘Phil Lester’ and as soon as his photo popped up, Dan’s mouth fell open and he felt like he was going to cry. “Fuck, Sam! I had sex with Phil Lester!”

“You guys fucked?” Sam asked, her vulgarity coming out through her disbelief. “How was he? Was he hung? Was he lame? All the rich guys are normally rigid as fuck.”

“He was bloody amazing,” Dan said. “But that’s not the point. I fucked up Sam.”

“How?” Sam asked. “How could you possibly have fucked this up? You took fucking Phil Lester to bed.”

The taxi pulls up and Sam opens the door to get in but Dan’s words stop her in her tracks.

“I gave him a fake name.”

Sam turns her head, her mouth agape. “You’re a fucking idiot!”

“I didn’t know!” Dan cried. “I didn’t know that’s who he was!”

She slapped his arm and he let out a soft ow as he rubbed where she just hit. “I still don’t understand how you’ve never seen Phil Lester.”

“Because I never paid any attention to him, Sam.” Dan moaned out. “He was never on my list of people to research. He makes clothing that’s too expensive for me to even touch.”

“So even when I told you yesterday we were going to a party on his yacht, you never once googled who he was?” Sam asked, her voice a bit incredulous.

“Being honest, no,” Dan said. “I just… fuck.”

Sam nodded. “I can’t believe you fucked this up.”

Just then, the taxi pulls up. But it’s not really a taxi, it’s a small black cab that Dan knows Sam’s family paid for. The driver gets out and opens the door for them and they get into the back. He reaches up and rubs over his face, down his neck, reaching for his necklace to twist but suddenly, he feels nothing.

“Oh my god, Sam!” Dan cried, sitting up, running his hands all over his chest. “My necklace is gone!”

“Your necklace?” She clarified, looking up from her phone long enough to make eye-contact with him. “The one your grandmother gave you?”

Dan nodded, feeling tears spring to his eyes. This night couldn’t have gone any worse and now he’s about to start crying over the damn necklace that was supposed to be around his neck. Fuck, it must have fallen off somewhere.

“Yeah!” Dan said. “I don’t have it on.”

“Did you take it off somewhere?”

Dan shook his head and the car sped off down the narrow road towards the cliffs. “No,” He whimpered. “I don’t know what happened to it.”

“Did you lose it in his bed?”

Dan leaned his head back against the seat and let out a loud groan because fuck he probably did. It’s probably laying in the middle of Phil’s sheets right now and he’s looking like a fool because of it.

“If you want to try and find it, we can turn back and head back to the party?”

Dan shook his head. “Phil’s probably fucking someone on it right now.”

He knew his words sounded bitter after everything that happened but he felt like he had to be bitter for a moment. It felt like the natural reaction to how his night has went.

“Hey, don’t get like that, hun.” Sam says, putting her phone into her Louis Vuitton fanny pack and comforting him. “I’ll get someone to contact Phil tomorrow and ask for the necklace. It’s not big deal.”

Dan nods and closes his eyes.

It’s not a big deal. He repeats in his head. It’s not a big deal.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic #fluff #smut #angst #princesslexi763fics #sail away fic

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antiadvil · 5 years ago

Text

I Don’t Care

~1k, PG13

Summary: Youtube parties suck, but at least they're not alone. Title after the song by Ed Sheeran.

A/N: It’s also part of the @phanworkschallenge advent calendar thing. It’s v cool, go check it out. Thanks to @sudden-sky for the beta!