#i genuinely can't remember when i was this obsessed with something that it took over so much of my time

[adamusydneys]

wow can't believe the 2024 f1 season is done

[pseudowho]

"Fushiguro, be honest--"

Yuuji stood in a freshly pressed suit, crisp and ironed and combed, and held his arms out for Megumi's appraisal.

"--would I make a good first impression in this?"

"No," Megumi intoned, without even looking up from his manga. Yuuji groaned, turning on the spot, his fingers tangling in his peachy hair as he whined, beseeching Megumi.

"Awww, c'mon Fushiguro...Nanami called me. Today's the day."

Megumi stopped reading, looking up with his eyebrows raised. A moment of genuine excitement ran through him as he leaned forwards from his pillows.

"Today? Are you serious? Are they sure?"

Yuuji fizzled, pacing and ruffling his own hair, alight with nervous anticipation.

"Yeah, they're positive-- it started in the night-- I can't stop looking at my phone--"

Megumi interrupted, flat and not to be argued with.

"I'll drive you to the hospital, when Nanami calls you."

Yuuji breathed out a shuddering puff of air, grinning, feet tapping.

"Yeah...okay, yeah. Thanks, Fushiguro."

Only Megumi's eyes softened, at the thrill running off Yuuji's skin. He looked at Yuuji, silently appraising.

While Yuuji had the body of a man, he had not the emotional maturity needed to truly fill the suit and weave it to his soul. A suit is so incongruous on one who is not yet a man. Still, Megumi continued, softer.

"You'll make a good first impression. Not that they'll remember it."

Yuuji's lip puckered up, watching the summer rain patter as he leaned on the windowsill.

"Yeah...but I will."

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"Yuuji." A low, tired rumble on the phone. Yuuji was breathless with anticipation, his heart thick in his chest.

"Da--...Nanamin, is...is it...?"'

"They're fine, they...she's here, it's over, it's...its finally over."

Yuuji felt tears prickle in his nose, having never heard Nanami Kento sound so broken and so complete.

Yuuji took one great sniffle, and nodded hard, grabbing a bouquet of flowers from his desk. Megumi stood, listening intently and grabbing his jacket and keys.

"I--I'll come, I'll be right there, Fushiguro...Fushiguro is driving--"

"Good. Great, I..." Kento's voice sounded thick, and Yuuji's stomach twisted, wishing he could reach through the phone and hold him. Nanami continued, his voice hoarse.

"...I'd be grateful for the company, Yuuji."

The drive took a thousand years. Megumi was smooth, flawless. He was closer to manhood than Yuuji was, but waited for him to catch up with an outstretched hand. When Yuuji jumped out at the hospital atrium with nary a goodbye, white-knuckled around his bouquet and smart suit, Megumi simply smiled, watching him go.

Claggy-tongued and numb footed, Yuuji made his way through the hospital, rendered dumb with nerves. Bowing, and bowing again as a midwife allowed him into the ward, Yuuji's heart squeezed again as he saw your room number on the wall; Ward Seven, Room Three.

He raised a hand, and in the half-second before knocking, Yuuji's life flashed before his eyes; every trial, every agony, every loss and every near loss, every tear and every smile and every embrace and battle and war and fear and pain and love that he had lost and love that he had won, hard fought, and he could only hope that it was enough that he could be enough to fill the suit because he sure as hell wasn't man enough to fill it yet--

Knock knock.

"Come in."

Yuuji swung open the door, his eyes wide, and stepped over the threshold into his formative memory of the moment he became a man. The sound of rain, the distant tiny cries, the smell of petrichor and new life. The edges of this new memory were rosy, flush with pink and gold.

You, sat in bed, tired and shiny-cheeked and exquisite, pressing one hand over your lips and about to cry for the boy you loved.

Kento, with his back to the door, his shirtsleeves rolled up, and his broad shoulders rendered gentle by the obsessive, adoring love that sunk into every fibre of his being. He held something precious in his arms.

When Kento turned, time stopped. A wee baby girl, just hours old, yawned a chubby-cheeked yawn against her father's chest. She scrunched and squeaked as she stretched against the blankets, and Yuuji uttered an involuntary 'oh'.

Yuuji dropped the flowers to the floor, stepping forwards, instinctually reaching out for such treasure.

Kento looped a hand out, pulling Yuuji in by the nape of the neck and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"Yuuji...she's here. Your little-- if you want her-- little sister--"

Yuuji hiccuped. Gingerly, tenderly he accepted the warm, blanketed bundle pressed into his arms. He looked down, shaking and blinking away tears, placing one thick finger in a tiny hand. Nanami rubbed a hand down his jaw, another hand on his hip, and huffed a single wet laugh.

"Why...why the suit, Yuuji?"

"I just...I wanted to make a good first impression."

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Inspired by that old video of the guy wearing a suit to go and meet his new baby niece.

[soireegurl]

i have this idea for a fic but i cant write, lol so im dropping it in your ask box cause youre like the best yandere writer i know on here so here it is:

you running away from yandere!heeseung when you had the chance, then you encountered a nice guy (i imagine to probably be sunghoon) and then you tell him all bout you running away, heeseung, all that stuff. butttt here's the twist.. hoon has been stalking you for a looong time so yeah kind of like reader got away from a yandere just to end up with another yandere 💥

Omggg thank you for writing in! I'm so glad to hear that from you 😊 here it is sorry for the long wait! Hope you like it!

You’d been running for days, constantly looking over your shoulder, heart pounding. Heeseung, with his unsettling gaze and obsessive demeanor, was always one step behind. It was terrifying, knowing that someone so fixated was out to find you.

His words and actions are no doubt trauma for you.

It started all nice and romantic, Heeseung was the sweetest guy you've ever met and no doubt, you have fallen in love with this beautiful man. But things started to get handy.

Ever since you guys officially got together, he has been possessive. Like to an extreme amount.

To the point where you felt suffocated and scared. You tried to talk to him about it but he always turned to the same behaviour.

You couldn't take it anymore and decided to break up with him... Which obviously didn't turn out well.

"Heeseung... I... I'm sorry. I... Let's break up."

You said not looking at him. You didn't want to see any of that madness in his eyes.

"Baby... Was that a joke? Or..."

His tone wasn't warm.... It was cold. As if, if you said "no" the next second, he would tear you into pieces.

But you can't let fear over take you.

"No. I'm serious Heeseung. I want to break up with you."

And there... Boom!

You ended up in his basement for 3 weeks.

For 3 weeks, you have been trying to run. Of course failing almost every time.

But that day... You finally got out of his grip.

Then, amidst your frantic escape, you stumbled upon someone who seemed like a beacon of calm.

Sunghoon, with his warm smile and kind eyes, offered you a moment of respite.

You poured your heart out, telling him everything: how you’d been fleeing from Heeseung, how his intense obsession made your life a nightmare.

Sunghoon listened patiently, offering comforting words and seeming genuinely concerned. You felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe you’d finally found safety.

"I'm sorry to hear that Y/n... I'm here now... I will take care of you..."

But as the days went on, you began to notice little things. Sunghoon was always there, just when you needed him. It seemed like he had an uncanny ability to show up at the right place and time.

"Oh? Sunghoon? What are you doing in my house?"

"Here! I bought you some chocolate. I thought you might need this right now."

"Oh my god that's so sweet of you... How did you know that I am in desperate need of this right now?"

You smiled and took the chocolate from his hand.

"Every time you fail a test, you always get chocolates to cheer yourself up, don't you?"

He said with a proud smile.

But... You have never told him that... And you never told him that you failed your most recent test...

So... How does he know?

But at that time, you were too innocent to even notice this was odd.

Eventually, a year later, you and Sunghoon got into a relationship.

One evening, as you were looking through Sunghoon's phone, as your phone ran out of battery and you desperately needed a phone to do some research.

Curiousity got into you and somehow, you decided to open up Sunghoon's gallery.

you came across something unsettling. A series of photos you didn’t remember taking.

They showed you in various locations, from moments of vulnerability to everyday scenes.

Your heart sank as you realized these were taken by Sunghoon.

Confronting him, you saw a shift in his demeanor. His warm smile faded, replaced by a more intense, calculating gaze.

You sensed danger. Your body is telling you to run, and of course, you followed what your body told you to do.

You ran for your life.

Why have you never noticed anything?

“You didn’t think you’d escape that easily, did you?” he whispered next to your ears and he caught up to you.

"I didn't plan all this just to let you escape..."

He said and smirked.

"What... What do you mean?"

"You know... I could have just given you a backup phone... I'm not that stupid Y/n.."

"I want you to know how much I love you... And you should love me as much too..."

The realization hit hard. You had run from one yandere, only to fall into the grasp of another.

Sunghoon’s obsession, hidden behind a facade of kindness, was just as consuming.

The cycle of escape and obsession seemed never-ending, leaving you to confront the stark reality of your situation.

[north-kieren]

HII NORTH ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) do you know a lot about manifestation/how to practice it? if so what has ur experience been with it? i have a follow up question but i dont want to sound like im interrogating you 😭 ill probably ask it after this question/in the comments of this question

Honestly I'm not good at it all that much 😭 besides shifting and actively experiencing a change, I almost never try any other methods of it because of how weird/complicated I make it on accident while trying.

In my personal experience, manifesting is like boomerang, you throw out your intention and you receive it back physically. It's sort of unpredictable, like sometimes you experience results immediately, or not for a long time. Sometimes it's not exactly what you envisioned, or maybe it's EXACTLY what you envisioned - but it's not what you needed in that instance yk?

I don't do it a lot, because unfortunately I get demotivated extremely easily. If I don't see results immediately then the doubts make it almost impossible to keep faith in my own intentions. Which is why whenever I shift, I make sure to have whatever I desire in mind so that way I don't need to go through all of this trouble for it.

When I was a younger kid, I would listen to subliminal messaging RELIGIOUSLY. Like every single day for at least a few hours at a time. I did this for probably around 3 years, starting when I first found out about subliminals and not stopping until I experienced something that had kinda made me realize the gravity of doing so like I did.

Nothing bad, at least not this first experience anyway. I remember back then, I was obsessed with werewolves specifically from twilight. It crossed my mind every single day so of course I was willing to jump into anything that could promise my own experience in such a life as a twilight werewolf 😭. I looked and explored all over the internet for different subliminals made by different sources and different affirmations, and no results at all. Eventually though, I just found I grew extremely patient with the results I was waiting for, I found that I genuinely just enjoyed the couple 3 or 4 main subliminals I had found enough to listen to them without the anticipation in my belly making it hard to be in the moment. Of course, back then I didn't realize this, nor did I realize what happened because of this newfound relaxation until one morning I woke up and the teeth in my mouth had all changed shape entirely. I looked in the mirror getting ready for school and vividly remember just standing there with my mouth open and frozen in my spot. My teeth were absolutely a different shape before this morning. I had fallen asleep that night to a subliminal and coincidentally, one of the affirmations were fangs and sharp k9's. This took the relaxation and turned it into slight intimidation. Made me realize that whatever I was doing, was working somehow. It was intimidating.

Second experience, years later in 2020 I had picked up subliminals once again after a year or two break from it, and instead of wolf subliminals - it was shifting subliminals. I won't name the account because honestly I can't remember but they're extremely problematic. I'm not the only bad experience with this account and their subliminals. I had fallen into the same routine, falling asleep to the subliminals daily, everything was fine enough at first that I didn't realize anything was wrong. Just chalked it up to my brain being an asshole.

Over time, and continuing to listen to those affirmations religiously, I started to experience some scary shit back to back, more than normal. Nightmares that weren't lucid but felt more vivid than reality, where the contents were nothing but darkness and pure malicious invasion of my mind and dream state. It was disgusting. I stopped after I realized what the reasoning for these things was, and eventually even heard the same exact stories from other shifters who used that accounts subliminals.

I don't use subliminals at all anymore, but only because I know I don't need them. However, if I did, I now know for a fact that this shit is serious, manifestation is real and you need to take caution with what you're trying to make your reality. This was my second time being shown this, and now my main form of manifesting is just shifting, so I'm sorry if that's not helpful. Feel free to ask anything else!!!

[thetravelingmaster]

Convinced She Can't Resist

Female's Point of View - Conditioning - Hypnosis

His soft, irresistible tone effortlessly pulled my attention upward. I looked up into his eyes, I couldn't help but smile as I felt my will steadily be drained away with each bewitching word he spoke.

He was hypnotizing me again and even though I knew exactly why he kept doing it, I couldn't stop myself from instantly surrendering because his inductions are impossible to resist. The moment I even suspect that he is trying to trance me, I give myself over to the experience even if I know full well that every time I do, he deepens my utter surrender to his will.

And before you say anything, the reason for my helplessness isn't because I'm on board with what he is doing to me. In fact, I'm still very aware that it would be much more prudent for me to do everything in my power to prevent it. However, just like my inability to resist being hypnotized by him, I can't bring myself to complain about anything he does with me, nor can I take any action that would help me break free from his clever hypnotic hold over me.

It’s simply impossible…

So in spite of the number of times he wants to trance me, I always allow him to do it regardless of my mood. I’m well aware that from an outsider’s perspective, my willingness makes me look like a hypno-addict, but in truth, it’s less about my desire to be hypnotized and more about my inability to resist it. 

It might have taken me a while to realize he was changing things in my behavior and beliefs, but right from the start, I was lucky (or unlucky) enough to be aware that my trances did more than just relax me. It’s actually pure coincidence that I do though because you see, if I was the type of subject that didn’t remember her trances, I would honestly have been clueless that my new behavior and actions was all his doing. I would have been like those girls you read about in erotic mind control stories and thought that my new beliefs were my own epiphanies. 

But as it turned out, I’m the type of subject that always remembers moments from my trances. That’s why I know that during my first session, he took his time and eventually convinced me that his hypnosis skills were impossible to resist while I was deep in trance. I didn't know this at the time, but it turns out that whatever your subconscious can be convinced of while you are that deep in trance becomes part of you as a new truth you can't deny. 

I really should have been more cautious…

However, I didn't really believe hypnosis could do anything special so when he first offered to hypnotize me, I didn't see the harm in accepting his request. As a matter of fact, I was so convinced that hypnosis wasn't real that I was surprised when his words actually did make me sleepy. He told me his induction would make me drowsy and they did exactly that. His words pulled me deeper and deeper into new truths and before I knew it, I was in a deep trance.

I remember waking up a little confused as to what I had just experienced, but that quickly faded away and was replaced with genuine awe when I realized that it had worked. Which served to prove the truth of my new conviction because even if I didn’t believe in hypnosis, his induction had pulled me effortlessly down into trance.

I guess that same feeling of awe is why I didn't mind it when he began to trance me every time we met up. It wasn't something I could prevent or resist and since it admittedly felt pretty nice to relax my mind in that way, I didn't bother to worry about his sudden obsession. I'm not a completely clueless idiot however so eventually, I did start to notice that each trance I experienced seemed to bring me deeper and the deeper I sank, the easier it was for him to convince me about new things.

Copy this link to your browser to read the rest of this story

mc-diaries.com/diaries/convinced-she-cant-resist

Model: Reilly Sanders

[snakestardraws]

Felt like writing a post explaining all my special interests and hyperfixations. I was going to post this during Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, but I forgor 💀 Anyway, here's my massive infodump about all my interests (under the cut):

Current special interests: These are the big ones. The extremely intense, long-lasting interests that make up a core part of my personality. I define a special interest as something I'm constantly thinking about, talking about, and interacting with over a long period of time. To know me is to know these interests.

Pink Floyd - If I had to name a favorite special interest, this and reptiles would tie for the top spot. My interest in Pink Floyd is all-consuming. I can never properly convey how much they mean to me. I first got into them at age 12 when my mom bought me a Dark Side of the Moon shirt. My overly literal brain couldn't stand wearing a shirt without knowing the band, so I looked them up on Scratch (yes, the coding website lol. YouTube was blocked at our school). I clicked on Wish You Were Here, and my life was changed forever. It was a catastrophic extinction-level special interest canon event. I started consuming more and more of their music, getting what I couldn't find on Scratch through an MP3 download website. I read their Wikipedia page and started to genuinely care about the members and history in a way I never had for any other band. I took a specific liking to David Gilmour. I whispered the names of the band members to myself in bed to help me remember them, I walked around on the playground whispering the lyrics to their songs, I got an MP3 player and downloaded every song I could, I did my big 7th grade history project about them, I made atrocious plagiarized fanart of them, I wrote smut fic about David Gilmour with my best friend, I read Deviantart fics on the family computer in the early mornings. For the next 6 Christmases, I asked for only Pink Floyd merch and spent all of my own money on it. My collection grew from that one original shirt to 15 shirts, 16 vinyl records, 8 CDs, 3 pins, 4 posters, a keychain, a fanny pack, a tumbler, and so many more I can't even count. Pink Floyd was at my middle school graduation party and my high school graduation party. It was a bumper sticker on my first car. It inspired the name of my second snake. Their music followed me from insecure tweenhood to semi-confident early adulthood, playing out of crappy MP3 players and old cellphones and cheap turntables and CD players and car speakers the whole way through. I planned 5 different versions of my wedding to David Gilmour. I saw him and Nick Mason in concert and cried real tears both times. I had the best and cringiest interactions with other fans on Deviantart, AO3, Wattpad, YouTube, Amino, Discord, Reddit, Tumblr, and Instagram. Pink Floyd even got name dropped in my official autism diagnosis report 9 months ago. I could go on and on forever, but I should probably stop at some point. Thank you, Pink Floyd, for changing my life.

Reptiles - Where do I even start with my love of reptiles? I suppose the only place to start is when I was 11 years old. I took a Quotev quiz called "What snake should you get?" and got a corn snake as my result. I had never thought about snakes before and only took it for fun, but this made me start seriously considering them as pets. After months of research and begging my mom, I got a beautiful baby anery corn snake for my 12th birthday. I named him Lloyd and promptly set up a bare bones habitat. From this point on, my obsession would only grow. I watched an insane amount of YouTube videos about snakes, eventually branching out into other reptiles. I researched every species I could, upgraded Lloyd's habitat, visited every reptile event I could, talked about snakes constantly, and drew snakes in class all the time. I got a hognose snake named Algernon when I was 14, but he unfortunately died from cancer a year later. I later got a crested gecko named Milton at a reptile expo when I was 16, a hognose snake named Agnes at a reptile store when I was 17, a Kenyan sand boa named Bartholomew and a gold dust day gecko named Archibald at a reptile expo when I was 18, and a giant day gecko named Alexander from Craigslist when I was 18. They are my absolute favorite category of animal and my passion for them is evident to anyone who ever talks to me. I am forever obsessed with them and hope my collection continues to grow. Reptiles are the most gorgeous, adorable, fun, and interesting creatures I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Thank you, Lloyd, for starting it all.

Steven Universe - My friend first recommended Steven Universe to me when I was 11. I watched a couple of episodes, but didn't really like it and didn't look into it any more. Years later when I was 17, my favorite YouTuber Athena P talked a lot about how good the show was and I thought I might as well give it another try. After suffering through the messy first half of season 1, the show finally connected with me, and I was obsessed. I shared it with my sister after I finished the show and she loved it too. I couldn't stop thinking about it and talking about it to everyone I met. I made my own gemsona, read and wrote a huge amount of fanfiction, drew fanart, joined the subreddit, and started consuming all the content I could relating to it. I absolutely love Steven Universe. It's gorgeous, simple, complex, comforting, emotional, hilarious, and overall an incredibly well-made masterpiece. It connected with me in the deepest possible way and helped me learn a couple of new things about myself. Something about the way these silly little rock characters are written has me in a chokehold, and this show will always have a special place in my heart because of it.

A Clockwork Orange - This interest has developed fairly recently, but I can already tell it's going to last a while. I discovered the movie when I was reading the Wikipedia page for the movie rating system and saw that a movie called "A Clockwork Orange" used to be rated X. I was intrigued and frightened by this idea, so I read the page for the movie and found it fascinating. I first watched the movie on April 3rd, got so hooked I had to watch it again immediately afterwards, and have since logged it 60 times on Letterboxd. I have also read the book, looked at numerous fanfictions, watched countless analysis videos, drew some rudimentary fanart, and am currently writing a couple fanfictions myself. I cannot explain why this movie captivates me so. It's dark, spry, unflinching, twisted, unique, iconic, humorous, intelligent, beautiful, hypnotic, perfectly shot, and of course, ultraviolent. But it's not the violence that captures me, which a lot of people I tell about the movie seem to misunderstand. This makes it my most controversial current special interest. I also love the book almost as much as the movie, with the exception of that goofy ahh ending. Ultimately, a wonderful piece of media that I can't look away from, no matter how hard I try.

“Undercurrent” interests: I define these as interests that didn't quite make the cut for special interests, but are still more dear to me than a regular interest. I don't constantly interact with them, but they are always in the background of my mind.

Travel advisories - These are the advisories posted by the U.S. Department of State on which countries are safe to travel to. They are organized by Levels 1, 2, 3, and 4, and each country is given reasoning for the safety rating. I got obsessed with reading all the advisories on the site starting at age 16. I even memorized each country and and made a Google Doc color-coding all of the countries by level. I've noticed a common theme with many of my interests, which is that I love anything that can be categorized. That's why learning about these advisories is super fun and addictive to me.

Product recalls - This is somewhat related to my advertising interest. Starting at age 7, I loved watching law firm commercials alerting consumers about product recalls. This interest continued on because I found it so fascinating. Now I look up recall commercials on YouTube and stay on top of new product recalls using Google. They are categorized by level of severity and released to the public in a variety of ways. I don't know why they give me so much dopamine, but they're so fun to watch.

Commercials - This isn't my most intense interest, but it's definitely my most long-lasting one. According to my mom, I loved commercials even as a young toddler, and that love has continued to this day. Whereas most autistic people seem to be less susceptible to ads than normal, I am extremely susceptible to them and love to analyze why a commercial is persuasive. I can't even explain why I like them so much. They're just incredibly fun and pleasurable to me, to the point that watching them feels like I'm on crack. When I was younger, I used to memorize and quote commercials all the time, record infomercials on the DVR, and even film my own commercials with my mom's phone. They will always have a special place in my heart, and they're the reason I want to seek a career in advertising.

Passports - I became obsessed with the designs and rankings of world passports at age 17. Unfortunately, the only online communities for passports are about sexist "passport bros." Thankfully, I can enjoy the beauty of passports outside of those communities. I was thrilled to get my first official passport and stared at it for hours. My favorite websites about passports are the ones that line them up by color so you can click on information about them. I wasted so much school time looking at that site...

Rollercoasters - I have been fascinated with the workings of rollercoasters since I was 6 years old. The different types of coasters, lifts, and restraint systems are just so cool! The weird thing is that I'm kind of mixed on riding them, since a lot of them are extremely fun, but some of them are scary. But the topic of how they work and how they're put together is so fascinating. My favorite coasters are The Rattler and the Incredicoaster.

Dæmonism - This is the practice of creating a sentient mental animal companion inspired by the dæmons in the book series His Dark Materials. When I was 13, I read the book series and became obsessed with it, but especially the aspect of dæmons. I found a specific Amino community for dæmons with instructions on how to create/find your own. So at one windy spring track practice, I found my own dæmon. He appeared as a sunbeam snake I named Sisyphus and we started talking. We talked every day and grew incredibly close, and we are still incredibly close to this day. He tried out many forms and now appears as a marbled polecat. I plan to talk more about dæmonism on my sideblog @daemonforest!

James Bond - This one was almost a special interest, but I feel like I can't call it that since I haven't seen all of the movies and don't like some of them. I also haven't read most of the books and don't like the ones I have read. With that said, I absolutely love James Bond, and I have ever since I was 14. The action is actually interesting and gripping most of the time, the villains and their plots are so cartoonish, the music slaps, the jokes are good, the Bond girls are sometimes cool, and of course there's James Bond, the titular bitchular himself. He's cool, charismatic, mysterious, clever, fun to watch, and overall iconic. My favorite movies are Dr. No, You Only Live Twice, Casino Royale, and Skyfall. My favorite Bond actors are Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, and Timothy Dalton.

Star Trek - Another that just barely edged out of the special interest category. Similar to my James Bond interest, I feel I can't truly claim it as a special interest since I haven't seen all of the shows and don't like some of them. All the same, I absolutely love Star Trek, especially The Next Generation. I first watched it when I was 16 and fell in love with it. It's intelligent, beautiful, and engaging, with many thought-provoking concepts explored through complex and lovable characters. My favorite characters are Data, Spock (all iterations), Uhura, Picard, Janeway, Elnor, Seven of Nine, and Tuvok. My favorite shows are The Next Generation, The Original Series, Voyager, Strange New Worlds, and Picard. My favorite episodes are The Offspring, Silicon Avatar, The Inner Light, Patterns of Force, The Trouble With Tribbles, Subspace Rhapsody, Tuvix, Deadlock, and The Void. I'm currently making my own Star Trek fan story/comic using anthropomorphic cats.

Current hyperfixations: I define a hyperfixation as something that grabs my interest with extreme intensity, but for short periods of time. Upon getting into something, I can immediately tell whether it's going to be long-lasting or not.

Ball pythons - This falls under the category of reptiles, but ball pythons specifically are a hyperfixation right now because I'm getting 2 of them on June 7th. Since last week, I have been researching everything I can about them and talking about them to everyone within earshot.

PVC pipe fittings - This became a hyperfixation last month after my dad asked me to rebuild his sprinkler system with him. We had to work with PVC pipes a lot and they instantly fascinated me, specifically the pipe fittings. Googling pictures of them gives me immense joy.

Past special interests: Interests that used to intensely dominate my life, but no longer do. Even after an interest stops being a special interest, I never lose it. It just becomes a regular interest instead (with the exception of problematic interests I try to get rid of).

Lalaloopsy - My mom bought me my first Lalaloopsy at age 5. From that point on, I was obsessed. I collected over a hundred minifigures, constantly lined them up and played with them, made up my own Lalaloopsy OCs, watched the cartoon, played the minigames, and even bought the collector's guide so I could circle all the ones I wanted. My interest started to wane at age 11, but I am still very fond of them.

Harry Potter - Yeah, this one didn't age too well. My mom read me the first book at age 8 and I was hooked. I quickly devoured the entire series, watched all the movies, collected a bunch of merch and side books, watched those mid Fantastic Beasts movies, visited the theme park, played the Scene It game a thousand times, read a ton of fanfiction, and even made up a self-insert character who I wrote fanfiction about and shipped with Harry. My interest started to wane at age 16 because of JK Rowling's transphobia. I actually knew about it at age 15, but didn't care because I was kind of transphobic myself at the time. But as I mentally matured and realized I was being a dickwad, I realized I couldn't continue this interest because it would only support her. So I still reread the books occasionally despite their problematic content, but I have joined many people in officially renouncing the franchise and refusing to talk about it (outside of this post, of course). Fuck JKR.

Cats - Cats were my favorite animal starting when I was a baby. We've had a least one cat my entire childhood (our current one is named Tiberius) and they have always captivated me. We had an informational book about cats that I would go through and circle all my favorite cat breeds. I'm not as obsessed with them anymore, but I still love them dearly.

Ninjago - When I was about 11 years old, I saw the Lego Ninjago movie in theaters. My best friend at the time introduced me to the original Lego Ninjago show and despite the rough first season, I was hooked. I was especially interested in Lloyd and developed a crush on him, eventually naming my first pet snake after him. I watched every episode, collected a bunch of the Lego sets, made a Minecraft skin of Lloyd as an NPC, made fanart, Warrior Cats crossover fanfiction, and even smut fanfiction shipping Lloyd with Kai and Legolas from Lord of the Rings. Unfortunately, it really fell off in season 8 and the spinoff show looks terrible, so I only watch it occasionally now. But it was a good form of bonding with my friend and my sister, and I had a lot of fun with it while the interest lasted.

Warrior Cats - I consider this distinct from my cat interest because it's a specific series, but it was just as intense. My mom got me Into the Wild for my 10th birthday because her siblings loved the series, and I instantly fell in love with it. I read all of the books that were out at the time, including many manga and super editions, wrote copious fanfiction, drew even more fanart, made my own OC, and even made a second OC after I outgrew that one. The second OC, Snakestar, was made when I was 12, and she is still my main OC/fursona to this day. I'm not as obsessed with the series anymore and haven't kept up with the last few arcs, but I still enjoy rereading the books and using my current Warriorsona.

Wings of Fire - I got into this series when I saw my friend at the time reading one of the books on a church road trip when we were 12. I asked to borrow it, but I was pretty confused since it was the third book in the series. However, I still really enjoyed it and decided to draw the dragons like my friend did. They were a lot better at art than me, but we still had fun drawing together. I made quite a few fan tribes and character designs before reading the rest of the series, including one main dragonsona I drew excessively. When I was 14, I finally read the rest of the books since my sister was reading them in school and loved them. I now own all of the books, graphic novels, and drawing books. I also made an updated OC, a lot of art, and a lot of fanfiction. I still love the series, just not as intensely as before.

Past (hyper)fixations: Hyperfixations are transient by nature, and these are the numerous subjects I used to hyperfixate on but no longer do. Even after I stop hyperfixating on something, I never lose interest in it – it just becomes a milder regular interest. Because there are so many, I'll just write the age I got into each one.

Sea cucumbers (12), chameleons (10), microbes (5), Arthur (8), World War 2 (13), Armin Meiwes case (16), Rasputin (13), 9/11 (16), Everywhere at the End of Time (14), dog attacks (14), rare dog breeds (12), liminal spaces (16), Minecraft (8-14, but the hyperfixation hit when I was 9), Everlost (12), The Count of Monte Cristo (11), catalogs (12), furry fandom (15), lucid dreaming (15/16), Glorb (17), oud (17), graffiti (18), PSAs (16), sex toys (18), cocaine (18. NEVER AGAIN, COKE KILLS.), website data breaches (18).

Other: Things I didn't know how to categorize. They're not exactly special interests or hyperfixations since I don't think about them or interact with them a lot, but they are extremely present in my life.

Pompompurin - I became obsessed with this little yellow dog guy on my trip to Japan when I was 16. There was merch of him everywhere, and I quickly bought everything I could that featured him. Now I have numerous stuffed animals, keychains, pins, minifigures, purses, stickers, clothing articles, and even a giant 3 foot tall Build-a-Bear of him.

The color green - This has been my favorite color since I was about 12 years old. I know everyone has a favorite color, but autistic people seem to get a bit more intense about their favorite colors than other people. Basically, if I can get something in the color green, I will, and it has taken over my entire life. My favorite shades are dark green, sage green, and mint green. It's so comforting to me.

Whew, that was a lot of infodumping! If you somehow read this entire thing, thank you so much! I didn't really expect anyone to read it since I wrote it mostly for my benefit. Have some pizza while you're here 🍕

💚 Thanks for reading! 💚

[medusas-graveyard]

Unhealthy Obsession.

Okay wait actually, remembering how it took a while for Pariah Dark to get sealed off just means that they were some bending in his sworn oath, right?

Okay another angst prompt, consider; softly insane! Danny.

(Tw: Dark!Danny, morally ambiguous? No one's having a great time tbh but like it's poetically soft imo. Also our boy's officially lost it :∆ his words are cryptic.)

Final warning: This is depressingly sad for Danny's part, sure. But he's also unjustified so I'll classify this as [Dead Dove: Do not eat]

Danny's adopted by the Waynes just like, a bit little short time before his coronation (also he's around 16-18 years old because I'm dragging the desperate for validation because he never felt seen unless someone praises him trope). At that time span he's this very rarely seen brother that's absolutely trying his best between juggling his very impromptu 'how to be a proper monarch' lessons (read: the ancients drilling manors, rules, oaths, etc to his poor head because they don't want a repeat Pariah Dark) and being a present family members because he genuinely loves them. (They know about the vigilante stuff and the Waynes understandably backed away from convincing him, seeing how Danny already has shit ton on his plate.)

Until one day something big happens that almost ended the world, and Bruce dies. It was just him and his dad there, with no other bird or bat in sight. No one knew yet— no one needs to know. Kronos' carefully crafted human, no— prince finally shatters after all the pressure, and all he thinks is how unfair the world has been to him.

It's a very, very slow descent to insanity, what he had been through.

He lost so much, he won't lose anything again. And amidst the eerie scenery of a prince cradling the body of his father, was the sight of himself stitching him back together— giving him a new life. He whispered apologies after apologies to the unconscious man; and for a second Kronos would've pitied him.

Except he didn't. He knew he can't.

After all the chaos they finally had each other again, and Danny stood contently as he watched Alfred personally tend to his family's wounds, big or small. He also watched as his family bicker with each other after all they've been through, and realized something; all of this will die.

Alfred, Bruce, his brothers, Cass and Steph— they're all painfully mortal. He'll outlive his family, and in the end he'll be alone. He doesn't want to be left alone.

And what is to do when you realize your family is painfully, awfully mortal?

...you either curse them with immortality, or place a generational curse on them so you'll all meet in every life, of course! (Oh, did I mention about cursing your family so they'll all get reincarnated everytime they die to make them find each other by everytime?)

... except these curses are incredibly forbidden, because they go against the nature of life and death.

Which leads to the sight of Danny being cuffed from his neck, his arms, his wrists, and his legs. His expression is deadly calm, he smiles softly contrast to the Waynes that are watching in horror. He watches as his family's face contorts to something unreadable when his captors reads over his charges, and he couldn't bring himself to feel remorse.

"By the name of the Infinite realms, Prince Phantom is sentence to imprisonment, for the charges of tempering with the cycle of life and breaking the Royal oath."

"He will be serving until the day of his coronation by the terms of the infinite realms, under the watchful gaze of the ghost of time. The guilty may be there farewells before they are sent to their sentence."

Danny smiles at them; soft but undeniably cruel. He bows at them, like how he would bow on days where his father would teach him how to ballroom dance.

"this is not a goodbye, it is merely a see you later." He starts, voice full of merit. "May we meet again, and may the circumstances of our next meeting a better one."

His smile turns sharper then, the contrast between it and his soft eyes sends an unpleasant shiver. "For our destiny are tied, and our Fates will overlap with each other."

"You cannot change our destiny. For the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb, and our bond has tied us together."

"None of you will run from me— none of you can run from me."

"Because I will chase you down and hunt you until our family is complete."

[itsclydebitches]

I can't believe it took me this long to notice but—

I'm mildly obsessed with how Alastor is the only one other than Charlie to sing in the original pilot. She sings to herself on the balcony and then hears (repeatedly) from Vaggie that she should not sing to her audience... and when she inevitably does, Charlie is faced with Hell-wide ridicule. Singing is clearly incredibly important to her—as well as a semi-literal power in this world—yet everyone from Charlie's girlfriend, to her subjects, to her parents (implied) is cringing not just over her message, but the very act of performance itself. That's something that changes in Amazon!Hazbin, but here Charlie is presented as an outlier.

Yet suddenly there's Alastor: singing with gleeful abandon, dressing everyone up, changing reality just like Charlie does, and reprising her lyrics. Yeah, he's still sarcastically 'supporting' or outright mocking her dream, but that's still such a great manipulation on his part. When he wants to get on her good side Alastor approaches Charlie through the very medium that everyone else rejected her for. And it works. Charlie seems to completely ignore what Alastor is singing in favor of getting swept up in someone else passionately performing with/for her. She went from "You're shady as fuck" and disgustedly removing Alastor's hand from her shoulder to ecstatic, full-fledged dancing with him.

(It's made even better for me that, in true Alastor fashion, there's always an element of truth in the manipulation. His love of singing, dancing, and performance exists independently from this scheme, bringing into question how much is genuine, how much is deliberate manipulation, and how much is a headache inducing mix of both that even he couldn't untangle.)

So anyway, I'm re-watching "Hell's Greatest Dad" and I'm like, "Alastor's parts are so distinctive where the fuck have I seen that neon coloring before?"

Manipulative deer man really pulled out all the stops here. "Hey, Charlie, remember when your parents were gone and I showed up to support you and we danced together in this very distinctive style while I once again reprised someone else's song? Remember that exact moment where I filled the role of 'Dad' and accepted you and made you smile? Remember that, Charlie? Hey, Lucifer, you see how happy MY performance makes her?"

And, uh... it works again!

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Who has been screwed over by the fandom more?

Propaganda below the cut

Amy Rose:

All she did was be a girl with a one-sided crush on the hero and she immediately got branded as a creepy obsessive stalker. Never mind how she has an actual character and personality and interests beyond Sonic himself. All of that gets ignored and her entire being gets boiled down to "yandere for Sonic"

Tails Nine:

it might just be me, but i still keep seeing posts where nine is just summarized as "tails but emo" and it. kinda ticks me off because. nine is very obviously a version of tails that didn't have a sonic – or anyone – to save him, so he grew to rely on himself and *only* himself, and it shows.

there's just... it could've been so easy for the tails we know to have become just like nine if it weren't for sonic. nine never had a sonic to protect him, so he made himself seven metallic tails to utilize instead. nine never had a sonic who made him be proud of his tails, so he makes it look like he only has one. nine never had a sonic who made him feel loved, so he stuck to the ground, because reaching for the sky is something only idiots can hope for.

until he met sonic.

and god, just watching the episodes where these two interact can make your heart feel *so* warm, because nine is finally getting the love he deserves. you watch him reach for the instinctive snark before being shocked by sonic's genuine kindness. you watch him praise sonic even if they had only just met because finally, finally someone cares about him. you watch him *fly*, in front of sonic, and only in front of sonic.

of course, good things can't last forever.

[sonic prime major spoilers territory, don't read unless you've watched all of s2]

this fox has been beaten down by the world around him, it should come as no surprise that when he found out what the full extent of what he could do with the shards is, that his first idea was to create the ideal world out of a wasteland just for him and sonic. only them. because sonic was the only one who showed him kindness. hell, he even remembered the palm trees sonic mentioned. the ideal world just for him and the hedgehog that insists that he's his friend.

and that's where their views collide.

because while nine wants what he never had, sonic wants what he lost.

and doesn't that just hurt? it's rejection. something that he's grown used to. because as much as sonic tries, he never saw nine more than just another alternate version of tails. all those words of his were for someone nine wasn't.

it's rejection, and it just confirms to nine what the world forced him to believe.

he's all on his own.

it's really no wonder he took control of the shards to create his own paradise.

(side note: i don't *fully* blame sonic for this either. while yes, it's primarily his fault, i feel like he's been dealing with the consequences plenty by now. he's just doing his best to fix things back to the way it was before. sonic may be fast, but even a few days isn't enough to process all of that for the world's fastest hedgehog.)

[ttaibhse]

i need to start up running again i haven't been in ages and i feel shitty about it but i still just don't really want to. especially now it's getting colder lol i like running in cool weather but when it's actually cold not as much. i was getting so bored of it idrk why i guess because i was running out of new routes to do... i hate running along the road and the thought of adding more distance which basically would mean adding more time on the road or just mindless loops of the parks wasn't really motivating lol. and i felt like i stopped making progress. and then i got sick and the pain in my back/hips came back for a while. and to be honest i was/am just disappointed that i wasn't losing any weight at least not perceptibly and obviously i was lying when i said the goal of it wasn't to lose weight lol. like not the only goal i did/do also want to just be a fitter and more active person and not let my bones crumble into dust by middle age whatever but ultimately i want to lose weight and it just wasn't happening. even though i wasn't intentionally eating much more to make up for the extra activity but i probably was doing it without meaning to. like admittedly there were definitely times i would be like oh i can have a bit more i did a big run today. not all the time but enough i guess. i feel like shit i hate being this size & shape i miss being skinny and the more time passes with me not being skinny it gets harder to remember the negatives that came with it. like i look back now and i know i was always cold and exhausted and obsessed with food and my whole life revolved around it like i know all that but i looked so much better -_- my clothes looked nicer. if someone took a photo of me i only had to worry about hating my face not my body as well. or not as much at least lol i always hated it i guess. but omfg my face even looks worse now because its just doughy. i cant stand it. i cant believe how fucked up i look lol

i hate writing posts like this i sound so cookie cutter stereotypical ED girl. it's so so embarrassing i can't stop feeling like this at nearly 28. im 28 in like 10 days and the first time i remember consciously deciding to stop eating to lose weight i was 10 or 11. my mum still seems to have genuinely blocked out the memories of it like any of it even though we talked about it at several different points in time when i was a teenager and i said to her what was going on and she was so angry with me like furious with me. and then again when i was an adult and just said outright because i knew i had put on weight over lockdown and i knew she thought i had just lost control of myself because she said so to my sister

so i said to her like look i was only really thin in uni because i was in like a 1.5k calorie deficit every single day. there were days i would stand up at the end of a lecture and almost black out lol so i said all that maybe 3 or 4 years ago was the last time i brought it up icr but still if the topic of eating disorders or similar comes up she will say things like "i hope youve never felt that way" LMFAO like full sincerity i swear to fucking god i dont understand. but anyway its not a great feeling knowing she thinks im fat because i just dont take care of myself. even though it is true i suppose. and every time i see my granny she comments on my weight. so anyway all that to say that's how i know it's true and it's not just in my head

like i can acknowledge that back in the day when i was something like 55kg and still thought i was huge that was some kind of dysmorphia involved. but not any more and it's just kind of a blow because i had finally started accepting this idea that i wasn't as big as i thought and now i am it's like i don't know like going backwards. like a nightmare come true or something it's literally all the bad thoughts i would have about myself are true now. i am that fat or even worse because i think i've been deluding myself i think i'm actually now bigger than i think i am. and i am lazy and eat badly and it still feels like my options are total lack of control or the tightest rein possible. theres no good middle ground i dont know how people find a middle ground. how do you eat normally lol. ive only ever been thin when i was barely eating + walking miles and miles every day AND on testosterone. i tried to do eating normally and now im so huge and i dont know what to do like logically i know there are people out there who have got it right so why cant i get it right

[milquetoastmews]

okay I’ve seen you posting about wuthering heights and this is your invitation (if you want one) to yap and share your thoughts about it. i read it a few years back and i honestly… despised it? and i feel like i’m missing something bc like. i regularly read classics. i love engaging with a story’s themes. but something just didn’t click for me, and i’m left feeling bewildered about why people love it. and none of this is judgement on you, i just genuinely feel like i’m missing something, so if you want to yap about it please enlighten me 🖤

so sorry it took me 4evr to respond 2 this omfg

I am literally never not in the mood to talk about wuthering heights!!!!

first things first, I read it over 3 yrs ago so I don't remember allllll the specifics (tho I have been feeling the itch to reread it......)

but from what I can remember (!) here's what I love abt it:

its so immersive! at least, it was for me. I had honestly forgotten that these things had even happened specifically, but I went back and read my goodreads review of it and I mention dreaming about the story and how after I finished it I sat on my bed for an hour doing absolutely nothing, because what was I meant to do? the world I had been living in had just dissipated before my eyes. I had trouble moving on after finishing wuthering heights; I would want to read but couldn't bring myself to pick up another book because that meant fully exiting its world. even though I don’t remember the contents of the dream or sitting on my bed, the feeling I had when reading wuthering heights still comes back to me whenever I think/talk abt it. its hard to put a finger on exactly what that feeling is but I can very distinctly identify it as wuthering heights.

its just so gothic. I lovelovelove gothicism. I love that wuthering heights is gothic in every possible way. theres ghosts and haunted manors and impassioned declarations and tragic ends and violent displays of love (more on this in the next point)

ever since I had to read love in the time of cholera for my sr yr english class I've been kind of obsessed with the concept of love as a violence. not violence used to desecrate love, but violence as an expression of love itself (probably also why I love hannibal lol). as aforementioned, I'm fascinated w the macabre of life. its just so interesting to see how many horrible actions can be not excused, but genuinely explained by love. love as a source of madness, desperation, desolation will always be one of my fav things to see in media

its not an unrequited love story with heathcliff the incel "nice guys always finish last" character. catherine and heathcliff truly truly love each other. but they r both in tricky spots. heathcliff is a person of color with a diminished social standing and catherine is a woman. these both hinder their options in life. I like that love does not conquer all and they don't end up together and heathcliff goes literally batshit bcos of it (kinda ties into my last point). the love is requited it just... can't be

everyone sucks!!!!! absolutely nothing means more to me than characters that fucking suck. like fr. every character is so different and yet exactly the same in the sense that you cannot morally justify liking one over the other. they are all, objectively, bad people, but at times u can't help but wish something good would happen to them, if only to find out if they would be better were their circumstances more favorable (they wouldn't ofc; most of the time, they just ruin whatever good thing even gets w in their vicinity)

I found the framing rlly interesting, the whole story w in a story thing. the end of the book was established at the beginning (or at least that's the assumption): lockwood comes to the grange and visits the heights and sees that everyone is miserable. so, the story begins: nelly is going to enlighten him as to how everyone at the heights came to be so rude and forlorn. but, that wasn't the end and I liked that. to me, it felt like brontë gave us a map at the beginning of the story and said "you're going to end up here" but once we got to that point, she just kept going. I think that strikes a rlly optimal balance of both direction and surprise. tbh I just rlly admire emily brontë as a writer

I believe thats all I can think of for now? I def have more to say on how, yes, everyone sucks, but the characters r still complex and the historical context surrounding when the book was written and the social commentary that comes along w heathcliff's identity and all that but I'm tired and feel bad its taken me this long to respond anyway!!! but def lmk what fell flat 4 u, I'm always curious to learn other ppls perspectives on books

(also I for sure did not edit or read this over b4 posting so sorry if it is absolutely incomprehensible)

[otosugar]

Explaining UtaPri's Next Door

Next Door is the 9th episode of the season 4 of Uta no Prince Sama anime and it impacted a lot of people when it aired and still does to this day However, I will share my thoughts on this specific episode and why it made me obsess over the main protags of this episode, Otoya and Eiichi

Creating the Soul shaking song

The duet project got some very good songs and honestly I can't say there is a loser on the batch So of course Otoya and Eiichi wanted to stand out too Haruka also did a good job give her credits too!

Eiichi's side of the story

So I will take this clear: Eiichi shouldn't have done everything that he did to Otoya, but there is actually some background around this, of course, again, he should have shared his feelings to Otoya in a better way

The implications that his dad isn't one of the best ones in the franchise started here on this episode, and it continued on the next ones, with Raging telling to him that he should destroy Starish, in front of the entire group no less, and in Maji Love Kingdom, Ranmaru says that Eiichi is scared of a shadow, what ever happened to Eiichi and Eiji should be revealed, sooner or later, but his relationship with his dad is definitively not on the best terms

Maybe because of this abuse thing Eiichi endured for years got to his head during the duet, and because of that he had a weird way to share his feelings to Otoya, because he projected himself onto him, Otoya reminded of him when he was more, innocent

The way his dad wanted to end him and Starish as a whole made him feel conflicted, he genuinely wanted to stay with Otoya, but he also feared what his dad could do to him and his group as a whole if he didn't obey him, as Heavens is his family too, Otoya had similar feelings to him that weren't destroyed by his dad, but he knew more about his group, he loved them a lot and he always was here for them

Later in the season we see the consequences Heavens took over disobeying Raging: the man was willing to ruin the reputation and the group he formed because they rebelled on him by erasing them from the public, until they once again, rebelled on him

Eiichi was also a victim of circunstances, and because of that, he exploded his negative feelings onto Otoya, because again, he was similar to him

Otoya's side of the story

We all saw what Otoya endured in this episode, he wanted to help with the song too, but Eiichi wasn't convinced of it, I want to believe all his unused lyrics for Next Door were used in Brilliant Days, after going out of the road of trauma he got into

Otoya is an orphan, since he was a child he didn't knew who their parents where and even got told that they were death, this was carried from the game, something I don't quite remember was if his aunt was in the game too, as he has a rosario from his mom in the games and in Pirates of the Frontier

It was said that Otoya was a sad kid when he got in the orphanage, and with such a trauma, who doesn't, we know his dad and mom are alive, but he doesn't, Starish goes to that orphanage in Smile Magic, but they probably thought Otoya was here because he just wanted to cheer up some kids, as he is a very happy person, not because it was the place he was raised in and they weren't told that, or Otoya never told them that was his house for his fear of reliving the memories again

Now on the episode Otoya gets constantly frustrated over not getting the lyrics, he wanted to make Haruka Happy, he wanted to sing with Eiichi, he wanted to enjoy things, but he just wasn't having fun during that, and he instead slowly got his bad memories again, because Eiichi wanted to know if he was as similar to him

I believe Otoya is, at the end of the day, genuinely happy with his life, but he still hasn't gotten over the loss and sadness he got when he was a child, and Eiichi bringing them back to surface just broke him, while we get that Eiichi wanted to make a good song and know more about Otoya, this is not the way for going into that

He eventually got better, and everyone loves him regardless of what he thought of himself, and at the end, they won!!!!!! Which honestly, as much as I loved God's star and Fumetsu no Inferno, he should have his win after his scar got harshly open

A mix and match of negative emotions in a song

I'm tired of Next Door being treated as a forbidden song of sorts, I know the context of how the song got created is depressing, but we shouldn't forget, that this song was something created from the development of these two guys

That smiling mask Tear it all off A raging new world will devastate you

This part of Eiichi starts the song on a very dark way compared to other utapri songs, but again, he is projecting himself onto Otoya in this moment

In the total darkness I see Blooming sunflowers ahh… Dancing to pieces As my song burns

And here we see Otoya singing about how emotionally hurt he is, from all his trauma and memories surfacing once again

And the song keeps going on dark until the bridge and last verse

A true smiling face I mistook the meaning The sorrow in your chest Is not something to hide My heart beats My whole body beats The joy in today’s sky Shows the limit in the wind of life All you can have Can be caught in feathers Fluttering dream

NEXT DOOR Open the door to tomorrow NEXT DOOR Let’s laugh together On the same stage

I will not hesitate anymore Fly away now Go To the future To the shining sun Don’t be defeated

NEXT DOOR NEXT DOOR

The song ends on a positive note, being happy is always great, but spilling your feelings like sadness, grief, anger or fear shouldn't be seen as bad, and, after all that grief, there is always the sunlight watching over us They even got Raging and Shining dropped on each verse, thought they used Kagayaki instead of shining, but it's still a cute way for ending such a strong song

The aftermath

Otoya runs away, he is in a very depressive state, Eiichi feels guilty over this and isn't taking it well at all, despite trying to hide his worries, which shows that he has a mask of his own, Starish cheer up Otoya, Heavens got punished after defying Raging, Eiichi was completely devasted for making such a decision he considered going on to his dad let him control his group despite he was teh one who started this rebellion, but thanks to Otoya and his friends, they come back after all they got, Starish gave them enough light to shine, Starish won, Heavens got onto Maji Love Kingdom, and after all this we got to the present, together, as friends or lovers, whatever suits you

What I say from this, is that, while the actions of Eiichi to make the song were questionable, it didn't got into worse events, yeah the anime of Utapri is fluff, but it doesn't mean bad things can't happen

Conclution

I have traumas, I have done questionable things while avoiding or confronting them, I relate to Otoya and Eiichi, I love Otoya and Eiichi, It took a big while to know that I love them, Next Door switched on a part of me I didn't knew I had, the performances of the song are really strong, specially on stage 6, I have never felt so connected to some characters as I have been with Otoya and Eiichi, I don't want to force people onto loving the same characters as I do, I want them to know why I love them so much

Otoya is cute, energetic, and always brings joy to me, Eiichi is a fire, eccentric, always has something to show off, each one had a different way to cope with their trauma, and that is why I love them, both of their side that they show to the world, and the dark side they hide from the world

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

triggers: urination, csa

name: fae

I'm not sure if this could have been early signs of csa in my childhood apart from what I know or maybe I just was genuinely scared of the bathroom? in kindergarten for a period of time I would pee myself during lunchtime right on the dot. It was so frequent to the point that my own teacher saw me in the office after an accident and went "Again?". I remember it was because I was horrified of a spider on the wall near the ceiling and that I'd always be unable to use the restroom at school because of that spider but I'm wondering if maybe something else happened.

In 1st grade I was using the restroom when two girls snuck their DS camera under the stall and took a photo of me but nothing ever came of it. I didn't see their faces and the photo wasn't spread to my knowledge. I was then assaulted at 10 during school and I know that was the start of my obsession with sex and mature themes as a child, but I feel like even before both of those incidents that it's possible something happened. I can't say for sure and maybe nothing did but it's just something I've been thinking about.

You know despite how life has turned out I'd give anything to go back to 1st grade or 2nd, even kindergarten with the memories I have now. I miss being a kid, it just passed by so quickly. I was so sweet, I just remember how pure I was and all of a sudden I wasn't. I seriously wish I could go back and do it over. I'm not religious but if heaven existed and it gave me the option for a do-over I'd be pressing that button so quick

Hello, Fae.

We’re sorry to hear all of this was your experience. It must feel so private and isolating. It’s very brave of you to share with us so we can help.

Issues with incontinance could be several things, including an underlying condition. If it has continued even now, I would suggest seeing a healthcare professional about that.

In regards to feeling a loss for your childhood, there are many ways to return to that at any point in your life. You could find plushies to hold or play with, enjoy childhood cartoons or other shows that brought you peace and comfort, and even make a simple fort to sit in where the space feels safe and surrounding. There’s no shame in this at any age. You can be as private about this as you wish to be.

I hope you can find a way to nurture your inner child.

-Amun.

[filthypoetix]

Happy One Year of Officially Dating to the love of my life, Zach 🕺🏻

Zach and I met five years ago, back in 2020, but a few months later, my family moved to North Carolina. We kept touch and over the years he slowly became my closest friend. He's always been of one of the most genuine, kind-hearted guys I’d ever known and I was thankful to have such a good friend even if we couldn't hang out irl at that point. We video called all the time, and texted daily for the most part.

A little before Christmas in 2023, during one of our regular video calls, something shifted for my feelings and it was VERY fucking sudden- even though my friend Luisa had literally said I should give Zach a shot and date him 2 years prior to this so others were not surprised by the change. Mid-conversation, as he was telling me about something nerdy, I realized that I had started to fall for him. A little crush at the moment that hit me like a truck, seriously lmao. I think he’d had a crush on me since we met, but it wasn’t until that moment that I truly saw him in that way, too. I ended up leaving NC entirely and moved back to Minnesota and in with Zach last April. We both agreed to let anything romantic unfold slowly, naturally. But one year ago today, he took me to Vermillion Falls and officially asked me out. We grabbed treats from Schoolhouse Scoop afterward, and I remember feeling so euphoric that we were finally together. Everything with us has always come easy. So genuine, honest, sweet and soft in all the right ways- and it's helped us grow something beautiful in this relationship as romantic partners.

Though it’s only been a year since we became a couple, we’ve actually been engaged since January. Another step we thought we’d take slowly… but when it feels right, it just happens. So it did lmao. Now we’re planning a wedding, which will be heavily spiritual and based in customized spiritual practices/marriage activities that we both believe in. One of mine I've never seen done for a wedding ceremony so, safe so say my wedding will be cooler than yours whether you had a faithful Christian wedding instead or not lmao (shooting for 2027!) - and no matter how soon it may seem to others, I believe this was just meant to happen and in the scheme of 5 years knowing each other- 3 years being very, very platonically close and talking every single day nearly... so I don't think it's actually that soon or rushed at all. If you think it's rushed or weird you can actually just go ahead eat my ass from the back and then thank me like the nosy bitch you must be, I suppose. You know who you are, girlypop. Thanks ♡

I'm so blessed and thankful for how everything unfolded across time. I’ve never felt this kind of love before- one that not only feels magical, but keeps proving itself, again and again. Not just through words and lazy shit. But through mutual effort, consistent actions rooted in love and compassion for one another both as individuals and as partner, and 5 years of nothing but judgement free and unconditional support in every way. I love and adorable him so, so much. And I seriously can’t believe it’s already been a whole year. So yeah, I truly love this silly, sweet, thoughtful, dorky sweetheart more than anything- and I can't wait to marry him. Guess you could say he's my Mayne man foreverrr, hehe.

My biggest hater is the only reason I was able to fall in love with him and that failure of an opp directly lead to us ending up together because she was a histrionic and violent abuser (his ex girlfriend) so that's genuinely ironic to me. If you're still obsessed with us and read this- genuinely thank you for being a loser and abuser because now I'm finally getting my happily ever after omg 😭🙏🗣🗣🗣

[elcor-thespian]

Answers to questions nobody asked! Thematic Headcanons Part 2!

I have 7 Rooks, so I used a random number generator to determine who gets the head canon.

Habit themed head canon: Nephele will not cry in front of people. She is excellent at slipping away when no one is paying attention and finding places to have a private breakdown. Until she can get away she has tricks to keep herself from crying, like digging her nails into her palm and pressing her tongue into the roof of her mouth. (And if Nephele is just me in a trench coat, what then?)

Bonus Habit head canon: Aleksei just pockets everything shiny everywhere they go. He's not going to steal...from poor people. But if it's unclaimed or they're rich, he's taking it. When they went to the Dellamorte villa Nasreen had to follow him around and keep telling him to put things back.

Headcanon about thing they like: Elspeth is very competitive and will turn just about anything in to a competition. They've also mastered pretty much any stupid bar game (i.e. darts) and can be talked in to just about anything if the other person says that they can't beat them at something.

Headcanon about thing they dislike: I've given each of my Rooks some specific trauma/fear involving water, just for funsies. Nephele and Nasreen both have trauma involving boats since they both escaped on boats to other countries after a significant act of violence. Paloma is afraid of boats because of the Antaam navy, also she never learned to swim. Aleksei loves the water and boats, but his first ship did go down in shark infested waters, so now he's afraid of sharks/open dark water. Brenna and Elspeth both almost drowned when they were little kids. I think Konstantin is generally freaked out because he's never seen large bodies of water before because he was raised underground, and he definitely can't swim.

Headcanon about something that makes them angry: Konstantin is incapable of standing up for himself, but he will freak out when he sees people getting taking advantage of or bullied, particularly small children. Berserker mode.

Food head canon: Nepehele is obsessed with luxury items because she's never had any thing nice. She loves to look at fancy patisseries and chocolates in store windows. Lucanis making her a cake broke her brain. It was absolutely the right play on his part. She can't get over it. Once they get together he constantly surprises her with little treats, and any time they pass one of those stores he buys her one.

Drink themed head canon: I'm going to list them in terms of highest alcohol tolerance to lowest: Brenna Thorne, Elspeth de Riva, Nephele Mercar, Paloma, Nasreen Aldwir, Aleksei Laidir, Konstantin Ingellvar

Pet themed headcanon: Paloma is the number one person stopping to pet/feed every single cat. When she first got to Minrathous and didn't speak the language or know anyone, she spent a lot of time with stray cats. They all somehow know her, and she has names for them and remembers them.

Hobby themed head canon: Nasreen never really had access to books until joining the Veil Jumpers, and even then it was very limited. The first time she went in to Emmrich's study she was floored by the number of books in there, but didn't know how to ask about them, because she didn't want to look stupid or let him know that she isn't the strongest reader. So she just took one that looked interesting. It didn't take long for him to notice or figure out where the book went, so he just started leaving books he thought she would like out for her to find (he's got such good teacher instincts I'm going to throw up). Eventually she broke because she got to a part she genuinely didn't understand and it was driving her crazy. He answers all of her questions and they start having an open dialogue about the things they're reading. She starts reading in his office even when he's not there.

Celebration themed Headcanon: The VG definitely stays in touch and is in and out of each other's lives throughout the year after the game, but it's difficult to get them all in one place at the same time. The first time they all manage to get in the same room again is for Winter Solstice, when Lucanis arranges to get them all to the Villa to surprise Nepehele, who had been depressed and missing her little found family. It becomes a tradition for everyone to get together at least once a year on the holiday. They do take turns with who hosts, but the default is the Dellamortes.

Arts and craft themed head canon: I mentioned in the last post that Nephele makes her own clothes. She actually also takes a lot of pride in interior design when it comes to her room at the Lighthouse, which is the first time she's had her own room. It's by far the best decorated and most comfortable room. She starts lending out her skills to everyone else, starting with doing basic mending for people, but graduating to making pieces. She really likes making clothes for other people and helping them develop their own style. Everyone has at least one piece of clothing she made. She sends them in the mail once they stop living together, especially once people start having kids.

Hair themed head canon: Here's a quick description of everyone's hair (and then we'll wrap up this post since it's getting long):

Nephele has black curly (2b) hair that's just below her shoulders. It's so soft and shiny and smells good? No one knows how her hair looks good even in the middle of the woods. Her hair looked good after Weisshaupt. Nasreen thinks it's probably blood magic. (My Rook having black hair is the very first thing I decided about my new DA OC. Now I have a protagonist with every hair color: Warden Ilayna has brown hair, Hawke is blonde, and Inquisitor Lavellan is a red head)

Aleksei has bright blonde, messy, wavy hair, that he keeps pretty short on the sides and longer on top.

Nasreen has light brown/auburn hair that is THICK and CURLY (she has that hairstyle that's a big goofy ponytail with the braid in front). She has spent a lot of time struggling with her hair since she spent her adolescence in Aleksei's household where they all have hair like him. She's figured it out but she is anxious about people touching her hair. She's punched people in the throat for less.

Brenna: Chest length, stick straight, fine, red hair that's usually down. And it's a dark red, almost Crayola red.

Elspeth: Brown and very curly, with an undercut that they show off by keeping their hair tied up. I briefly toyed with dying their hair dark blue, which I think they definitely try after the game after being influenced by Paloma.

Paloma: Has naturally light grey hair, but always has it dyed different colors. During the events of the game it's a deep purple, but after the game she shifts to pastel pink. Thick, straight, chest length, usually in twin French(Orlesian?) braids.

Konstantin: Oh my sweet boy. He has long straight medium brown hair, maybe collar bone/chest length. He keeps it up in a bun, and it only gets so long because he doesn't want to deal with it. He also has a beard because he is self conscious about his jawline. This combines to make him look devastatingly handsome, but he truly doesn't realize that. He thinks he looks really plain/chubby.

[marleyelona]

💘( HOPELESSLY DEVOTED! )✨

THREE

[ Captived By You ]

☆ 《》 ¤

KATHERINE GASPED AWAKE, every muscle in her body ached, while her vision blurred as she struggled to make out the stone walls that surrounded her. She groaned, lifting her head—it took awhile for the image of a smug looking Stefan sitting in a chair across from her to come into focus. 

Stefan had somehow gotten the jump on her earlier by injecting her with vervain. So, she spent her day being tortured by the youngest Salvatore as he continued to question her about the past and her hidden agenda of why she return to Mystic Falls. 

Stefan smirked at the weakened vampire in front of him, leaning forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his thighs, "You know, we can sit here as long as you want. And when you start to desiccate, there's a tomb with your name on it." 

Katherine playfully groaned, "I've been doing all the talking," she whined, pouting out her bottom lip. "It's your turn. Do you pretend to be human when you're with Elena?" she mocked. "Is that the appeal?"

"Actually, I don't pretend to be anything when I'm with her. That's the whole point. I get to just be myself."

A faint smile crossed the brunette's lips as a conversation playout inside her mind...

"Why do you love me, my lord?"

"Because when I am with you, I do not have to pretend to be something that I am not. You have seen the darkest parts of me. But yet you love me anyway. So, it is I that must ask you, how can you love a monster like me?"

"Because when I look into your eyes, I do not see a monster. I see a man, who loves passionately and recklessly—and cares so deeply."

The smile faded away as so did Bo's voice, just as quickly as it appeared, "Does she know that you are, like, totally obsessed with me?" Katherine chuckled, grinning from ear to ear. "I can't blame you, like, who wouldn't be?" she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm not obsessed with you, Katherine. I'm not Damon. Or...Bo? Was it?" It was Stefan's turn to look smug. 

Immediately, Katherine's features darkened, "Don't you ever say his name!" She bared her fangs, lunging forward, but was pulled back due to her restraints, eliciting an amused chuckle from Stefan. 

Mystic Falls

1864

Katherine had arrived back from the founders' ball about an hour ago. She now found herself sitting in front of the mirror; removing her jewellery, the pins in her hair and the makeup on her face. She simply stared at her own reflection, tears welling in her eyes as Stefan's confession played on repeat in her head, which only caused memories of Bo Mikaelson to flood her mind.

Opening the top drawer of her dresser, she pulled out a small vile of an amber liquid. With slight hesitation, she brought it up to her lips, tilting her head bacm, she consumed the contents. She then made her way over to her bed, placing herself down on the mattress, she turned on her side, meeting those familiar, piercing blue eyes of the love of her life.

"Hello, darling."

Those words sent shivers down her spine, while a faint smile tugged at the corners of her lips, seeing the one face she longed to gaze upon again, "Do you remember the first time you told me that you loved me?" she asked, wishing she could reach out and touch him.

"How can I forget?"

And that's when she was swept away into a memory...

England

1492

Heavy breathing filled Bo's quarters. A sheet covered the couples naked bodies. Bo hovered over Katerina, their lips connected and moving together in a perfect rhythm. Their tongues were dancing the fiery tango as their kiss deepened.

Bo pulled back to catch his breath, and their eyes locked, causing a genuine smile to grace Bo's face.

Katerina felt like she could get lost in those piercing eyes of his as she softly ran the tips of her fingers up and down his arm, simply admiring how truly handsome he was. The feeling of serenity consumed them as they both enjoyed the peaceful silence that surrounded them. They both loved simply being in each other's company—it was warm—comfortable. 

"You know," Katerina whispered. "I have never truly been this happy in my entire life."

Bo's chest swelled with pride, a smirk crossing his face, "You also make me very happy, my love."

Katerina's cheeks turned a rosy red, but she was quick to try and hide her blush. But nothing went unnoticed when Bo was concerned. He gently grabbed her chin, tiltimg her head up, so her eyes met his once more, before placing a gentle kiss on her lips. One that soon took a turn when Katerina deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding into his mouth easily, his moving in sync with hers.

A small growl escaped the back of his throat as Katerina was quick to change their positions, his back colliding with the mattress as she straddled his waist.

The kiss intensified as Bo nibbled at her bottom lip, drawing blood, eliciting a soft moan. Bo panted as he pulled away, his fangs extracting, and the dark veins under his eyes appearing—his hunger taking over.

Bo had pretty good control over his blood lust, but whenever he was intimate with a woman, he usually found himself losing control, making him feel like he was a newly turned vampire again. That was the one thing that scared him when he first started having feelings for the Petrova girl, she was a human and she couldn't handle the large blood lose like say a vampire could.

Bo was quick to turn away—he didn't want her to see him like that. Yes, she knew he was a vampire, he was honest with her the moment he knew he cared for her, but seeing his true face was a different thing. It could be very overwhelming for someone seeing it for the first time.

"Hey!" she turned his head, so he was looking at her, cradling his face in her hands, "Do not hide from me, Lord," she murmured, brushing her thumbs across the dark veins under his eyes, making them slowly disappear as he stared into her beautiful orbs. 

"I love you." The words slipped out of the man's lips, shocking himself from the confession he felt the need to say.

This also caught Katerina by surprise, causing her eyes to well with tears, "You love me?" she asked in disbelief.

Bo frowned in confusion, noticing the tears that threatened to fall from his lover's eyes, "How could I not?" He tilted his head slightly, quirking an eyebrow. He was confused as to why she found it so unbelievable that someone could love her.

"I love you too," she said, laughing with joy.

Then Bo's infamous Mikaelson's smirk formed on his lips, "Then show me, darling."

Katerina giggled as she practically lunged forward, capturing his lips with hers. The kiss was filled with so much passion as Bo quickly changed their positions, Katerina's back colliding with the mattress. His moans filled the room as he felt his arousal, causing his vampire face to come out once more, not being quick enough this time to hide it as he practically growled in her face. But Katerina wasn't afraid, she finally saw the man she loved exactly how he was, and she wasn't scared to admit she had never been more attracted to him than in that moment.

"I want to feed." His voice was raspy as he gripped the sheets tightly, trying hard to stop himself.

Tilting her head to the side, Katerina swung her hair over her shoulder, giving him complete access to her neck, "Then feed, my love." 

Bo shook his head rapidly in protest, "Darling, I might not be able to control myself." He breathed heavily, stopping himself from lunging forward. She could feel his hard shaft pressing against her inner thigh, pulsing. 

Katerina placed a finger on his lips, "I trust you," she whispered, cupping his neck firmly and bringing his mouth down to her neck.

Immediately, a gasp left Katerina's lips when she felt his fangs pierce her skin. The doppelganger gripped onto the bedsheets as a sharp pain shot through her body, but only for a moment, and was soon replaced by something else—a tingling feeling. Her breath started to pick up as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, and loud pleasurable moans escape her lips.

The vampire enjoyed the taste of her blood, while his hands ran up her leg and slid under the hem of her undergarments, his fingers instantly found her clit, and moved in circular motions, causing Katerina to become breathless as sweat beamed down her forehead, feeling pure euphoria.

☆ 《》 ¤

A single tear rolled down the Pierce girl's cheek as her hand moved to tug at the necklace around her neck, the one she hardly ever took off, "I love you, Bo Mikaelson," she whispered. "And I will not stop until I find you."

Bo smirked, "That's what I'm counting on," he whispered back, before suddenly, he faded away.

A painfully agonising sob escaped the woman's lips as she curled up into a ball, hugging the pillow the love of her life's head rested on seconds earlier.

All that could be heard inside the guest bedroom of the Salvatore estate was Katherine's cries—she didn't sleep a wink that night—longing for the man she loved with all her heart.

It had been dead silent inside the Salvatore's cellar for what felt like an eternity. The only sounds that could be heard was the buzz of the chest freezer nearby and the dripping of water from the leaking taps upstairs, and every now and then the worn wood of Katherine's chair would creak as she readjusted her position. 

Katherine sighed, the silence being more torture than the actual torture, "So, what are you gonna do, Stefan? Huh? Torture me, keep me captive, drain me of my blood until my body turns to dust. Hmm...?" she taunted, but Stefan still remained silent, earning a chuckle from the Pierce girl.

"Anyway," she sighed. "George Lockwood was causing all sorts of trouble. He used the vampires to cover up his own tracks. He told the founding families about us. But he was willing to strike a deal."

"What kind of a deal?" Stefan finally spoke.

"A deal to rid the town of vampires."

Katherine proceeded to tell Stefan all about the deal she made with George Lockwood to save her own ass back in 1864. And to say Stefan was disgusted with the vampire was an understatement.

"You knew that they were gonna burn the vampires in the church?" Stefan snapped, getting to his feet.

"I practically lit the match," she said, void of any emotion.

"They were your friends! They were your family and you just sold them out!"

She nodded proudly, "Without blinking."

"What did George get in return for giving you your freedom?"

Katherine scoffed in amusement, "Something he wanted desperately."

"So, you sent 26 of your friends to their death just to fake your own? No, you were running from something. What was it?"

Katherine sighed, readjusting herself in the chair, the legs screeching, "Everyone has a past, Stefan. Mine needed to stay far far away...well, some of it anyway. But thanks to you my plan nearly failed before it even began. But before the round up happened as you know, we saw each other one last time, and your father used your love for me against you—he poisoned your blood. Then, Damon being Damon, nearly ruined everything," she huffed, rolling her eyes as she shook her head in disbelief.

"We came for you! We tried to save you!"

"I didn't want to be saved!" she snapped, rolling her eyes.

"So, then, Damon and I died for nothing! For nothing!" he practically roared, hovering over her. 

"No, Stefan, you died for love!" she matched his tone. "And if you ask me, that's the most honourable thing anyone could ever do."

☆《》¤

The echo of footsteps bounced off the walls of the small concrete space as Stefan paced his family's cellar, "Are you gonna tell me why you came back here or are you just playing another game?"

"Have you not heard a word that I've said? I've answered that question five times over now."

"Oh, Good. Make it six."

Katherine sighed in frustration, "I came back to see my old stomping grounds, Stefan. And if you and your brother keep getting in the way of my fun..." Her eyes narrowed at her ex-boyfriend. "...my list of victims is a long one, and I have no problem adding one more name to that list."

"Come on, Katherine. If you wanted Elena dead, you would have done it by now."

"Hmm...still can." She titled her head, smirking, earning a chuckle from the youngest Salvatore. "If I have to I will snap her neck like a twig and you know it," she threatened, angering the vampire in front of her as he vamp sped over to his chair, breaking off one of the legs and rushing over to her. He growled, baring his fangs as he hovered the stake over her heart. But seconds later, he composed himself, tossing it to the side.

"I guess you don't hate me as much as you thought you did, huh?" she taunted, a smug look on her face as she watched him pace the room angrily. "If you continue to get in my way, Stefan, I will kill everyone Elena loves while she watches and then I will kill her while you watch."

Stefan growled once more, rushing over to Katherine and grabbing hold of her throat tightly, making her gasp. Looking up at his vampire face, fear flashed in her eyes as he once again had the stake aimed at her heart, "Don't you ever think for one moment that I will not kill you!"

Katherine growled as she threw him against the wall and easily snapped off the restraints from her arms and legs, getting to her feet, shocking the youngest Salvatore, "I have been sipping vervain every single day for the last 145 years," she said, stalking over to him. "You caught me by surprise once, I wasn't gonna let it happen again. It doesn't hurt me, Stefan."

"What?" He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"What?" She giggled. "I just wanted to have some fun." Katherine shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, "So, sue me?"

"Hello?" A voice called from upstairs, followed by the sound of the front door opening caught both the vampires' attention. "Stefan?" Elena called, her heavy footsteps hitting the hardwood floors above their heads. 

Katherine turned to a panicked Stefan and smirked, picking up the stake and stabbing him in the leg with it, making him groan loudly from the pain as Katherine rushed out of the cellar with vampire speed.

"Hello? Stefan?" Elena continued to call out to her boyfriend. The Gilbert girl turned around when she felt movement behind her, jumping slightly as she came face to face for the first time with the elusive Katherine Pierce.

Katherine smirked, "You must be Elena."

"How is this possible? How do we look exactly alike?" she questioned as the woman stalked closer to her, stopping when their faces were inches apart, making the teenager shiver in fear.

Katherine continued to look her doppelganger up and down, running her finger across her neck as she spoke, circling her like she was her prey, "You're asking the wrong questions," she taunted.

Stefan rushed into the room mere seconds later, making Katherine smirk from behind his girlfriend, "Elena?!"

And when Elena turned around...

Katherine was gone.

England

1492

Sweet moans filled the room as Bo's thrusted his hips. Katerina snapped her head back as she ran her fingers through her hair, while a series of moans continued to slip from her lips. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as her breathing became rapid. 

Sweat beamed down Bo's forehead as he picked up the pace, his hand wrapping itself around Katerina's neck, eliciting a loud gasp from her as a smirk tugged at her lips. 

"I'm so close, darling," he breathed out, his chest heaving. 

"Me too," she moaned out, her voice barely above a whisper, which made Bo growl. His grip tightened and his thrust became relentless. Her moans turning into screams of pure pleasure. 

But before either of them could find their release, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. 

Groaning in annoyance, Bo's head spun around to glared daggers at the door, "I'm busy!" he shouted, turning back round and continuing his face pace. "Oh, bloody hell, Rina. You feel so good. I cannot control myself." 

Katerina looked up at him, their eyes locked as she cupped his face, her forehead pressed against his, "Lose control," she whispered. "That's it, my loud. Take me as I am and I will take you as you are." 

But Bo didn't get a chance to lose control as the knocking continued, growing louder and louder, the person behind the door was not leaving anytime soon, and they were very persistent. 

"Fuck!" Bo hissed, his face contorting in both anger and frustration. 

Katerina sighed, dropping her head down on the pillow in defeat. 

"I'll be back, darling," he murmured, placing a sweet kiss on her lips, before slipping off the bed, summoning his pants, and pulling them back on.

Storming over to the door, he swung it open and came face to face with his youngest brother, "Yes, Kol?" Annoyance laced his voice. 

A smirk was plastered on Kol's face, "What are you doing?" he asked cheekily, peeking into the room through the gap in door, but Bo was quick to shut it completely, leading his brother away.

"What do you want, Kol?"

He chuckled, "I just thought you ought to know, a couple wolves were spotted in woods about a mile off."

"Great! Get Clarence to lead a group out," he said, turning to head back into his room.

But Kol grabbed his arm, stopping him, "You do not want to deal with it yourself? I think their Monroes. The ones that tortured your boy."

"Little busy right now!" Bo snapped, yanking his arm back. "So, if you do not have a point..." He moved for the door once more.

"Yeah, I saw. With your little play thing." 

Bo stopped dead in his tracks at his brother's words. 

"Although, I thought she was Nik's toy."

"She's not a toy," Bo hissed, spinning around with a deadly glare. 

"I thought you were supposed to be sacrificing her. Instead, your playing naked wrestling in the sheets." Kol clicked his tongue, shaking his head in mock-disappointment.

Bo growled, baring his fangs, and grabbing Kol by the throat, slamming him up against the wall.

Immediately, Kol raised his hands in mock-surrender, "Easy, brother. You know I do not want to see Nik break his curse as much as you do. I am rooting for you two love sick fools. I am only teasing, I would never tell that bastard." 

Bo sighed, releasing his brother, "Go with Clarence. I want every single one of those beasts dead before the moon reaches it's peak."

"Sure thing, brother," Kol said, before running off, using his vampire speed.

Bo turned to his bedroom door, a sad expression taking over his features. He knew his plan to save the love of his life wasn't going to work. The only way Katerina Petrova was coming out of this alive was if she ran far far away from him and his family. And he was going to ensure that happened.

Elena placed her bag down on the chair beside the door as she stepped inside her dimly bedroom. The only light coming from her bedside lamp. Her body was tense from the fight she just had with her boyfriend at the Grill. She let out a sigh as she rubbed the back on her neck, turning her head from side to side in hopes of removing some of the tension. But as she heard movement behind her, she quickly whipped around, only to see Stefan standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay?" he asked, taking slow steps toward her.

Immediately, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, before she ran into his arms, hers wrapping around him, "I hated that fight," she whispered. 

"I know. Me too." He sighed. "It felt too real," chuckled Stefan.

Elena pulled her boyfriend closer to her, placing a soft kiss on his lips, "Did you see Caroline?"

Stefan nodded, "Yeah."

"We were right, Katherine got to her. She was hanging onto every single word."

"It won't be long before Katherine gets a play by play."

"I wish I was wrong. But I know Caroline too well. It was so obvious that something was up today."

"You're not wrong. It's pure Katherine. She's always finding somebody to do her dirty work."

"I think Damon was listening to us fight too. Are you gonna tell him that it wasn't real?"

"The only way Katherine is gonna believe it is if everybody believes it. That's the best way to keep you safe, while I find out why the hell she's here."

"All this, just to find some guy. She said he was desperately in love with her, right? Do you think it's possible she loves him too?"

Stefan chuckled, shaking his head in amusement, "That can't be why she's here. Okay? No matter what she says, I know her. Katherine doesn't care about anybody but herself. She never has. She's incapable of love. She's here for another reason. And Bo Mikaelson certainly isn't it."

☆ 《》 ¤

The cool night air fanned against Katherine's skin, her hair dancing in the wind, while she walked through town square. Her gaze found the night sky. The stars shining over the dark shadows that surrounded her, while the moon shone brightest of all. 

England

1492

The scrunching over leaves and branches echoed through the woods as Katerina raced through the long grass. Her chest heaved, her forehead glistening with sweat as she hiked up her dress, running as fast as she could. She only stopped when she picked up the sound of voices nearby, taking full advantage of her new vampire abilities. She slowly crept towards them, ducking behind a tree when she spotted Klaus and Elijah. 

"You didn't have to do this to him!" Elijah hissed, through gritted teeth. 

"He betrayed our family, Elijah!" Klaus matched the tone. "For some harlot he barely knows."

"So, what? The punishment is his death?!"

Katerina gasped when she spotted two men carrying Bo's desiccated body. His skin was grey as a dagger stuck out of his heart. Her hand shot up to her mouth, tears hanging heavy in her eyes, "Bo," she said in a hush whisper.

"Oh, do not be so dramatic, Elijah. He is far from dead. He is just having a little nap. He will live once more when I see fit to remove the dagger. Until then, he will remain in a coffin alongside our brother, Finn," he declared, motioning for the two men to place Bo in his coffin as Elijah watched on remorseful. 

"Come now, brother," Klaus called. "We must prepare the horses for travel. We need to find Katerina Petrova, so we can make her pay," he declared, heading toward the house, a hesitate Elijah following after him.

Once the coast was clear, Katerina rushed over to the coffin with vampire speed. Opening the lid, she glanced down at the man she loved more than anything in the entire world. Gently, she caressed his cheek, before she firmly wrapped her fingers around the handle of the dagger, but she stopped when she heard footsteps approaching.

In a state of panic, she let go of the dagger, "I love you, Bo Mikaelson," she confessed, cupping the side of his face. "We will be together again. I promise," she said, pressing a quick kiss on his lips, before vamp speeding away, just as Klaus and Elijah returned. 

Katherine ran her fingers over her lips as a small smile graced her face. It felt like the kiss from all those years ago still lingered there. Oh, how she longed to feel his soft lips on hers forever more.

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