#i genuinely am happy for the boy if it turns out to be true

[adimouze]

Apparently Franco has all but been confirmed for the Red Bull seat next year. I guess I'm glad for him, but not really. That was supposed to be Daniel there. I can't be happy for anyone else. I try but it was. supposed. to. be. Daniel.

Look at it this way, nonny. The idiot who forced Daniel out of the seat because he wanted to do a trial run for 6 races flopped so INTENSELY hard that Red Bull was forced to look elsewhere. He spent so long gloating to the media that he's in the Red Bull, he trusted Helmut and he trusted whatever shit he was told, and he flopped. His career probably will never take off from this. He's never getting to be in Daniel's seat. He's never getting to be buddy buddy with Max like he wanted. He's never getting the main character edit. I think personally, while I cannot wholeheartedly support anyone like I did Daniel, Daniel would appreciate someone like Franco to take the seat than anyone like Lawson.

It will always have been Daniel's seat to me. I just tell myself I think if there's some vindication and karmic justice, it's that those who tried to fuck over Daniel the entire year by spreading rumours and making his last year a hellish experience, did not WIN.

[taeyongdoyoung]

daddy's home

summary: boyfriendless, jobless and hopeless, you rush to take the first opportunity you find, which is a nanny position. but the kids are not the only ones you grow fond of... pairing: seungcheol x reader genre: fluff, smut, single dad x nanny AU warnings: kids (triggering, i know), age gap (unspecified), mentions of past cheating, abandonment issues, potential therapy, male masturbation, confessions, blowjob, kissing, eating out, protected sex (unbelievable), dirty talk, size kink, pet names (sweetheart, angel, darling, little girl), sir+daddy kink, unprotected sex (with baby-making goal), breeding kink, creampie, more kids (sorry im ovulating) author's note: this is loosely based on the sitcom the nanny in that there's a single dad with three kids but minus the dead wife trope cuz that's too depressing for my tastes word count: 4.3k

You are desperate. Your shitty boyfriend cheated on you, broke up with you and you also lost your job. So it’s been a couple of terrible weeks. Now, you would take pretty much any kind of job as long as it pays enough for you to afford food and the bills. ASAP.

Single dad looks for a live-in nanny for his three kids. Full-time with Sundays off. Contact this number for more details.

Okay, truth be told, you’ve never considered yourself as someone who is good with kids. But how hard can it be? Have you mentioned you’re desperate?

“Listen, Miss L/N,” Mr. Choi, your potential future employer starts. “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’m not just going to hire you. I’m looking for someone with experience.”

“Well, I have a bunch of nephews, if they turned out alright under my care, then I guess that counts for something,” you chuckle.

“That’s very nice but I’m talking about professional experience. Have you been a nanny before?”

“Technically, no, but how can I get experience if you won’t hire me?”

“Touché,” Mr. Choi laughs.

“How about a trial period? Let me spend some time with your kids under your supervision and prove myself capable.”

Mr. Choi nods reluctantly.

“Well, you’re in luck since my little goblins have driven away five nannies in the past month.”

Oh, dear. Five nannies…And here you were thinking this could be an easy job.

“So, what’s one more?” you chuckle nervously and Mr. Choi shakes your hand, agreeing to give you a chance.

You are excited when meeting his kids. The eldest daughter - Chaerry is 15, very elegant and polite. You think that you’ll have no problems with her and you’ll have lots to talk about. The middle child and only son - Dino is 10, extremely mischievous and loud. You’ll definitely have problems. Finally, the youngest daughter, Elsie, is 5, she’s such a cutie but leaves a mess of her toys everywhere she goes. It’s easy to trip if you’re not careful, but nothing you can’t handle.

The trial period goes by in a flash. Dino attempts to get on your nerves by pulling pranks like hiding fake spiders in your bag and spraying your outfit with ketchup, but you accept all that with an easygoing laugh. Elsie constantly asks you to play with her toys and you need an unlimited source of ideas to keep up with her wild imagination, but it feels more like fun than a job. Chaerry is quiet and doesn’t share much at the beginning but eventually tells you about this boy at school she has a crush on. So, you count that as a success.

“I must admit, Miss L/N, I had some worries at first but seeing how quickly my kids accepted you is remarkable,” Mr. Choi shares his observations with you at the end of the trial period.

“So, am I hired, then?” you beam with excitement.

“Absolutely, yes. The kids have taken a liking to you and changing nannies so often is probably not great for them, either.”

“So true. Kids need stability and I would be happy to stick around for as long as you’ll have me, Mr. Choi,” you are thrilled not only because you will have a bed to sleep, food to eat and money to spend, but because you are genuinely looking forward to spending more time with these little munchkins.

And spend time with them you do. You're not sure what exactly it is that makes the kids warm up to you, but whatever the reason, it's working.

With Chaerry, you talk about boys and high school drama and make-up. On one occasion, she tells you something that sincerely touches you.

“Thank you for being my best friend, Y/N. I know I shouldn't keep stuff from my dad, but he can be so overprotective sometimes it's difficult to talk about...well, going on dates with boys, mostly.”

“Aww, Chae, you can tell me anything. It'll be our little secret,” you give her a wink, followed by a hug.

You're not exactly sure what the correct response here is. But you'll make sure to maintain some kind of balance - both look after her safety so that Mr. Choi sleeps peacefully at night and not betray Chaerry's trust in you.

With Dino, after the initial phase of silly pranks passes, you notice that he's become more honest and calm.

“You won't leave us like our mom and all the other nannies did, will you?” he asks you one afternoon as you're watching TV together.

You haven't asked Mr. Choi what exactly happened with these kids' mother because frankly, it's none of your business, but something is telling you they're a lot more hurt than they let on.

“I'm not going anywhere, Dino,” you promise, though really, it's up to Mr. Choi to decide that.

“Good. It would really suck if you left.”

That's a lot, coming from the kid who damaged like half of your wardrobe with all kinds of sauces.

With Elsie, another strange situation takes place due to the fact that the kid has no filter.

“Let's play family!”

“Um, okay,” you agree without thinking much.

“This will be daddy,” Elsie points at a stuffed lion plushie and then grabs a tiger plushie, “And this is you, mommy!”

“Oh, honey. I'm not your mommy,” you try to explain as gently as possible.

“But can you be? Daddy says our mommy left and has a new family somewhere else.”

Okay, that's a lot to unpack here. Though you don't think it is your place, you'll need to have a conversation with Mr. Choi, because the kids obviously have some kind of unresolved trauma...

One evening, after the kids have gone to sleep, instead of going to your room, you wait in the living room for your employer to come back from work, so you can approach the subject as delicately as you can.

“Good evening, Miss L/N. Kids go to bed?” he greets you as he takes off his coat.

“Evening, Mr. Choi. Yes, they did. I was wondering if we can have a chat. It can be a sensitive topic, I'm sure, but for the sake of the kids, I think it's important.”

Mr. Choi nods and takes a seat next to you on the couch.

“About their mother...”

“I was wondering how long it'd take you to bring that up,” he chuckles bitterly. “Other nannies wanted me to spill the tea on day one.”

“Wow, seriously?”

“It's not like it's this big secret, I just prefer not to talk about it unless absolutely necessary. My ex-wife...cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, so we had a divorce and I kept the kids, because she said she wants to start anew with this other guy, and...well, the kids said this is their home and that they won't move. So, I suppose the judge took that under consideration.”

“My God. I had no idea.”

“You couldn't have known, considering I just said I don't enjoy revisiting those painful memories.”

“Yes, of course, I only meant that...I guess it explains some things. Forgive me for saying this, but I think the kids have some kind of abandonment issues. Elsie and Dino, in particular, they seem to have a fear that I'll leave just like...well, their mom and the other nannies.”

“And are you? Leaving, I mean.”

“Not if I can help it. Mr. Choi, your kids are very vibrant and precious to me. I genuinely love my job. But I'm worried that what happened with your ex-wife affected them more than they show. Maybe you should look into therapy?”

“I will definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for your candour, Miss L/N.”

“You're most welcome.”

“What about Chaerry?”

“What about her?”

“You said that Elsie and Dino express these abandonment issues. Does Chaerry not have them?”

“She probably does, but at the moment she's too busy thinking about boys.”

“Boys? At her tender age? I don't think so,” Mr. Choi immediately goes into ultra alpha protective dad mode and you honestly find it kind of funny. And hot.

“Oh, relax, Mr. Choi. It's just typical high school drama. There's nothing to be worried about.”

He shakes his head disapprovingly.

“I'm counting on you. Does it ever occur to you how quickly they grow up?”

“I suppose it's more difficult for you. I've only known them for a few months but I think I get what you mean.”

“Yeah...How strange, it feels like you've been part of this family forever.”

You try not to think too deeply about it. He...considers you part of this family. Elsie called you mommy. Dino doesn't want you to leave. And Chaerry talks to you about boys. A topic, which girls usually discuss with their mothers. Oh, sweet heavens. Maybe, this nanny gig is becoming more than a job...

One Monday Mr. Choi texts you not to come to work this Saturday, as the kids will be spending some time with their grandparents (aka Mr. Choi's parents). However, the moment you receive the text, you're too busy trying to escape from Dino who is chasing you with a water gun in the garden. So, you somehow forget to put it down in your calendar.

Saturday arrives and poor Mr. Choi thinks you'd be in your own apartment. Finally, some peace and quiet. His parents picked up the kids early in the morning to go to the park with them so he's all alone and free to do as he pleases.

But alas, you go down the stairs of Mr. Choi's enormous house and make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the kids. However, it's too quiet. Hm, how strange. Maybe, they're not awake yet? You shrug as you pour some milk and cereal in a bowl.

Oh, you hear some noise from the living room. Is that the TV? Your curiosity gets the better of you and you enter it only to find Mr. Choi in a very compromising position. He is touching himself, watching very obscene things on the big screen!

You are on the verge of chastising your boss for doing something like that in the living room, where the kids could walk in any minute, when you remember. The kids...They're with their grandparents today. Which means that...Fuck, you're not supposed to be here. You should be at your own apartment instead of being witness to...your very sexy and very single employer taking care of his needs.

You are going to sneak back into the kitchen and wait for a more appropriate time to leave the house when you hear it. At first you think you're hallucinating but then you hear it twice. Your name.

“Y/N...please, let me-” Mr. Choi moans, his eyes closed, he is unaware of your presence.

However, he doesn't get to finish his sentence because you are so shocked that you drop the bowl of cereal, which shatters on the ground with a loud noise.

“Fuck, I'm so so sorry,” you murmur nervously as your boss finally notices you watching him.

His cheeks flushed, his lips pouting, he is the most adorable you've ever seen him. He hurries to tuck his cock back into his pants and turn off the TV.

“N-no, I'm sorry...Miss L/N, what are you doing here?”

Oh, so you're Miss L/N now...Very well, then.

“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind that the kids are with their grandparents today.”

“It must have,” Mr. Choi repeats coldly, obviously embarrassed by this situation.

You wonder if you should tell him what you heard. Would that be unprofessional? But then again, he is the one who said your name, so...what is professional anyway?

“Do you want me to leave?”

He sighs deeply.

“What's the point? You already saw me...fuck, I feel so humiliated.”

“Why would you feel humiliated? Am I so undesirable that my presence immediately turned you off?” you ask bluntly.

“That's not the case and you know it.”

“I'm not sure I know anything anymore,” you admit. “You...said my name. How is that supposed to make me feel?”

“You were never meant to hear that,” Mr. Choi hides his face behind his hands, the redness refusing to leave his complexion.

“But I did. So, what now?”

“Please, don't quit. I realize that what I did is unforgivable but...the kids care about you so much, it would devastate them to lose you.”

“I wasn't even thinking of quitting. But...are the kids the only ones who care about me?” you need to know.

“No...As it so happens, I care about you.”

“So, stop hiding from me,” you don't know where that boldness comes from as you grab his wrists and remove his hands, so you can look at his face. Fuck, he's so pretty.

“You're not...grossed out by me?” Mr. Choi blinks at you in surprise.

“Kinda flattered, actually,” you confess. “But I'd like it much better if you let me take care of your frustrations.”

“You would?” he is unable to believe his luck when you drop on your knees in front of him and take him out of his pants again, engulfing his cock with your pretty mouth. “Y/N...”

The way he says your name is enough to make you even more enthusiastic, sucking him deeper and bobbing your head to the best of your abilities. He grips your hair tightly and you make sure not a drop is spilled as you swallow his cum down your throat. You wipe off your lips and sit down next to him, unsure of what to do next.

“Mr. Choi...”

“Call me Cheol, please.”

“Cheol...may I kiss you?”

Seungcheol doesn't respond and instead kisses you passionately, grabbing your face with his hands. His tongue is exploring your mouth in ways you'd never imagined could bring so much pleasure and you can't resist the urge to sit in his lap. Somehow, against all reason, he's hard again, as you grind against him. Fuck. He's so hot and sweet and amazing you just want to make him happy. How anyone could cheat on this fine man is beyond you.

“Um...not to assume or anything, but do you have a condom?” you ask sheepishly.

“I do, yes,” Seungcheol goes to his coat and brings a package.

“I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I think we should be responsible considering this is our first time together and you already have three of your own,” you're probably talking too much but oh well. Better safe than sorry.

“No, I understand. You're totally right.”

“Will you fuck me?” you inquire.

“Here? On the couch?” Seungcheol is in disbelief.

“Well...you were touching yourself here, but I guess it's whatever. Your home, after all.”

He chuckles, suddenly embarrassed again.

“Come on, let's go to my room.”

Seungcheol offers you his hand and you follow him upstairs excitedly. Is this really happening? Are you seriously going to do this with your boss?

He lifts your chin up because he notices you're not meeting his eyes out of nervousness.

“Look at me,” he commands you easily and you're on the verge of falling apart and he hasn't even undressed you yet. The power this man holds over you... “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”

“It's not that. I do want this. It's just...I don't remember if I told you but I was also cheated on. A little before I came to work here. And like, I haven't been intimate for a while, so I'm nervous. What if I mess something up?”

“Okay, first of all, give me that asshole's address, I just wanna talk. And second of all...darling, I haven't been intimate since way before my divorce took place. Trust me, I'm a lot more nervous than you right now.”

You shake your head.

“Whatever you do, I'm sure I'll find it like super hot.”

Seungcheol laughs and tilts his head, kissing you again.

“You're so cute,” he whispers against your mouth. “I can't wait to ruin you.”

And just like that, it's as if a switch is flipped. He pushes you onto the bed and leans above you menacingly, a devilish smirk painting his pretty face. Seungcheol pushes your dress up hurriedly, touching you all over.

“You really thought you could get away with it, huh? Walking around my house in those dresses of yours looking so sexy? Tempting me?”

“N-no, s-sir,” you murmur, not knowing where the title is coming from.

“God, I'm such a cliché. An old man unable to resist the gorgeous young nanny...”

“You're not old, sir,” you try to reassure him. You're not sure if he's just engaging in dirty talk or is actually having some insecurities. He's still young in your eyes. Whatever the case, you're there for him.

“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. I'm too old for ya...I have three kids. What do you have, hm?” Seungcheol speaks while caressing your pussy through your panties.

“I have you, sir,” you smile and palm his dick teasingly.

He sighs wistfully and buries his head between your folds, licking and teasing until you're a soaking mess for him.

“S-sir, p-please...C-cheol, don't stop,” you cry out helplessly.

It feels so good, too good. He holds you down, hands gripping your thighs as you cum against his tongue. He barely gives you any time to recover as he rolls up a condom on his cock. You stare at him hungrily, impatient to have him inside of you.

Seungcheol is like the drug everyone warned you about. Once you have him, you won't be able to quit.

“Are you ready?” he asks softly in sharp contrast with his previous behaviour.

“Please take me, Cheol,” you would beg if you had to.

And take you he does, entering you deeply with his big cock.

“Fuck, you're so tight, barely fitting me in,” he speaks, stroking your clit in circular motions with his thumb, while he fucks you harshly.

“It's okay, I won't break, sir,” you try to convince him.

“What if I want you to break, little girl?” Seungcheol inquires, his voice half-joking, half-serious, as he.

“Then, I'd be happy to serve you, daddy,” the word slips from your lips before you could think twice about it.

“Daddy, huh? You need daddy to make you cum?” you are grateful he plays along instead of making fun of you in this very vulnerable moment.

“Yes, daddy, please, I'll do anything for you,” you promise in a daze.

“Cum for me, sweet girl, let daddy take care of you,” his deep voice is enough to bring you to the edge.

“Fuuuck, daddy...Cheol,” you mumble repeatedly, as white appears before your eyes.

You're shaking in his arms but it feels like flying.

“I've got you, angel, daddy's right here,” Seungcheol comforts you, as he rides out his own high, spilling inside the condom. Then, taking it off and throwing it in the garbage bin, he hurries back to you.

You make grabby hands at him and he envelops you in a hug.

“I'm here, sweetheart,” he kisses your forehead gently and you melt against his chest.

“Cheol...I think you just murdered me a little,” you laugh.

“Well, then, I better make sure I revive you, because I can't imagine my life without you.”

“Good. You ain't getting rid of me.”

“That sounds perfect because me and the kids would like you to stick around.”

“Oh God, the kids! What time are they coming back?”

“We've got time, don't worry, they should-”

“Daaaad, we're home!” you hear Dino's loud voice from downstairs.

“Fuck,” Cheol curses under his breath and the two of you hurry to make yourselves look somewhat presentable.

Once dressed and back in the living room, you can only hope that you're not too obvious about what went down. However, you can't stop yourself from glancing at Seungcheol and he's just as flustered as you.

“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Dino greets you as if it's completely normal for you to be there. As if you belong.

“How was your time with your grandparents?” you ask, trying to act casual.

“We had so much ice cream!” Elsie squeals excitedly.

“Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park,” Chaerry starts telling you about everything they did in great detail and you are glad that the shy girl you first met is becoming a confident young woman.

Elsie is asking for more ice cream but Seungcheol is explaining that it's lunch time. Dino is painting the table with mustard and honestly, that's so on brand for him...

It is funny where desperation brought you. You realize this is the happiest you've been in a while.

Later, when Seungcheol catches you alone after spending the afternoon with the kids, he asks:

“I know we kinda messed up the proper order of things, but...would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Oh! I'd love that, Cheol. Is it okay to still call you that?”

“Yeah, it's alright.”

“What about in front of the kids? I'm not sure to what point you'd like to mix professional with...personal life.”

“In front of the kids is okay, too,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, do you know what Elsie keeps asking me?”

“What?”

“When will you make Y/N my new mommy?”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Elsie would say.”

“So, um, no pressure. But I think you're more than the nanny to me.”

“Well, I would certainly hope so. I didn't raise you, mister!”

Seungcheol can't miss the opportunity for a joke. He takes hold of your hand and places it on top of his...very hard dick.

“You raised him, though,” he whispers.

“Mr. Choi!” you hiss, scandalized. “I mean...Cheol.”

“Did you mean daddy?” Seungcheol teases you relentlessly.

“Stop it, you deviant!” you shake your head. “Fuck, you'll never let me live this down, will ya?”

“Do you kiss your boss with that mouth?” he smirks.

“Don't mind if I do,” you reply and bring your lips to his.

A year passes by quickly. You love every day of your life. Whether it'll be spending time with the kids, or going on fun dates with your boss turned boyfriend, or having mind-blowing sex with said specimen, you are truly happy with how things turned out for the best.

With one tiny thing missing.

“Cheol, can I ask you something?” you mumble one evening, as you are playing with his soft, fluffy hair.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Seungcheol turns towards you, giving you his fullest attention.

“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

“Hmm, it hasn't crossed my mind. I already have three kids. But it depends. Is that something you're interested in?”

“Not till now. But if it's with you, I'd love to have a kid,” you confess shyly.

“Well, then, let's make you a mommy,” Seungcheol quickly makes it his mission and for the first time, doesn't use a condom.

“Yes, please, daddy, give me your cum,” you moan wantonly, as he fucks you deep.

“Take it like the good girl you are, I'll give you all I've got, fuck a baby in ya,” he grunts in your ear, sounding even more excited than you are.

“I love it, feel so full,” you whimper and can't stop kissing him. You can't believe this beautiful man is yours and wants to give you another present.

“That's right, sweetheart, I'll stuff you full of it,” he moans and releases himself inside you. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper, as you reach your high.

Seungcheol gently pushes the cum that's spilling out of your pussy back inside and lifts your legs up.

“Do you think it'll stick?” you ask doubtfully.

“Can't hurt to try again until it does,” he shrugs, determined to succeed.

Nine months later, as you welcome the twins into the family, you realize you've never expected to achieve so much happiness.

“You really had to outdo yourself and give me not one but two babies,” you playfully push Seungcheol's shoulder.

“Is it too late now to say sorry?” he grins nervously.

“Don't be. I'm more than satisfied. But you'll have to give me a raise!”

“I'll give you something better than that,” Seungcheol promises and pulls a diamond ring out of his pocket.

“Oh my God,” you are in shock.

“Y/N...you've given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. You started off as a nanny but you became my three kids' best friend and now, the mother of two more angels. You became my closest person, my source of joy, my sweetheart. Knowing that I can come home to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes, of course, yes!” you say through your tears and kiss him, as he slides the ring on your finger.

“Can I call you mommy now?” Elsie peeks her adorable head behind the door, followed by Dino and Chaerry, who are all excited by the good news.

“Congratulations, Y/N!” Chaerry greets you with a hug and whispers: “Thanks for taking one for the team and making our lonely old man. happy.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Seungcheol complains loudly.

Dino jumps on the back of his dad with a loud squeal.

“You better treat her right, Dad!” the boy warns. “Or I'll ketchup your room!”

“Why do I feel like I'm the one being welcomed into the family?” Seungcheol bemoans his fate but he's never smiled wider.

“You'll get used to it,” you joke. “Come on, guys, meet your new brother and sister.”

“Hii, babies!” Elsie and Dino jump excitedly around the twins.

“Oh, they're so cute! Aren't they so cute, Dad?” Chaerry coos at the babies.

“They are, but it's too early for you to think about how cute babies are. Look at me...I already have five. Isn't it tragic?” Seungcheol keeps messing around.

“It could have been twelve or something,” you play along.

“I can't imagine,” Seungcheol cries out indignantly. But deep down, maybe he can.

The End

[moonstruckme]

Mae!!! I am so happy to see you opening up requests for Thawing Out because I am genuinely OBSESSED and I haven’t stopped thinking about it 💖💖💖 So, what if during practice, Remus (unknowingly, obviously) said something to r, like making a correction or something, and it’s something Peter had said. And Sirius recognizes it too!! And you can decide what happens 🥰 Love you! 💖

Thank you for requesting lovely <33

collab with @ellecdc

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16

cw: modern au, chronic pain, Peter mention

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader ♡ 2k words

You’re an angel on the ice. Gliding and sweeping, your movements so ethereal Sirius half expects to look down and find that your skates are floating above the surface of the ice, or that you’ve etched the next great work of art into the canvas beneath your feet. But he doesn’t, because it’s clear as day that the true art is in the creation, and it’s got its fingers clasped around his. Sirius feels lucky to bear witness. 

You have the look of someone who’s given themselves over to their craft, your expression poised but eyes sparkling as you transition neatly from one move to the next until you’re coasting alongside Sirius. You’re wearing leg warmers today, far from unconventional in your sport but it’s humiliating how adorable he finds it on you. Your nails are short and neat, fingers surprisingly warm in his own, eyelashes fluttering as you tilt your head back. 

You make it look easy. The way you arch your back until you’re nearly parallel to the ice, skating on only the edge of one skate while Sirius draws you in a circle around him. He starts to lower himself, finding the position you’d practiced off ice. Your grip on his hand is strong, your head tilting until the hairs escaping from your bun are whipping just above the ice, until Sirius is sure you can feel its chill on the back of your neck, and he can’t do it. 

He keeps you a few inches above where he knows you’re supposed to be, holds you there with the momentum of his spin, and then hoists you up and into your spin. 

You look at him bemusedly as you land on your other skate, a questioning flicker of eye contact Sirius pretends not to notice. You finish out the rest of your routine perfectly. 

“That was great,” Remus says from the entryway. Sirius has noticed that he’s taken to watching you from there rather than from the bleachers on days when his hip isn’t giving him as much trouble. He wonders if Remus is almost tantalizing himself, standing on the edge of the ice but knowing he can’t go further. “Y/n, you had a lovely arch going into the spiral, but I want to see you stay more on that outside edge during the lutz-loop combination. Just play it safe on that one, alright?” 

“Yeah.” You nod, looking encouraged. “Sorry, I felt myself slip a bit there.” 

“You managed it just fine,” Remus reassures you. He gives you a gentle smile, and Sirius stomach does something fluttery and unsanctioned. “It’s good that you noticed, we only want to keep an eye on it, yeah?” 

You smile in reply. The commotion in Sirius’ stomach worsens. 

“And Sirius,” Remus turns to him, “we still have to get a bit lower on the spiral. Her head should be below her knee.” 

Sirius frowns. “I know.” 

It’s a non-answer and Remus knows it, but he doesn’t snipe back at him. His brows twitch together thoughtfully. “We’ve still got a few days. Do you need more time to practice off ice?” 

“No,” Sirius replies. He wishes the other boy would get angry with him, give him something to shoot back at, something other than kindness and temperance and this lame, irksome understanding. He almost wants to roll his eyes as he adds, “I’ll work on it.” 

Remus seems (frustratingly) appeased with that. “Alright, just be careful on your left pick when you get down there.” His voice takes on a teasing lilt. “We don’t need any more accidents this close to competition, Pads.” 

Sirius waits for the flash of irritation. But your laughter rings out brilliant and lovely, and Remus is smiling at the both of you with something like fondness, and he can’t seem to find it. 

Fucking James. Sirius ought to know better than to automatically trust anyone his best friend likes—you’ve both suffered the consequences from that once already—but it’s difficult to summon his usual disdain for Remus after watching the two of them chinwag and snicker like old friends at practice the other day. It was odd seeing James so familiar with someone else, but Sirius found he couldn’t muster any jealousy. As much as he loathes to think of it, you were right—learning James and Remus were old friends did make him think. In ways that remind Sirius why thinking is one of his least favorite activities. 

He shoots Remus the bird over his shoulder. Unfortunately, in doing so, he fails to notice a blemish in the ice which catches his skate, causing him to pitch forward before righting himself. 

Remus’ lips twitch, but Sirius holds up a hand. “You can keep your quips to yourself.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Then you can keep your looks to yourself.” 

You implement Remus’ alteration to your lutz-loop combination flawlessly. It’s something you’ve always been good at, confident enough to take feedback and skilled enough to make the changes stick. It’s part of why you’re as good as you are, the amalgamation of every scrap of advice you’ve ever received and a fierce determination that's all your own. You jump and spin and twist your way through the routine beautifully. 

Sirius, on the other hand, is not so great with critiques. The death spiral stays exactly the way it is, with your head safely above the ice and neither of you low enough to get full points. And that’s likely how it will stay. 

He can tell you and Remus are both getting more frustrated, more disappointed, every time he fails to take it all the way, but Sirius can’t bring himself to go any further. His heart won’t let him. 

“We’ll do some more off ice tomorrow,” Remus decides for him as you both take off your skates. “We’ve got the time, everything else is looking beautiful. Sirius, maybe work on getting low on your own today, so we’ve less to cover tomorrow.” Sirius nods down towards his skates. He doesn’t feel like looking at either one of you. “And y/n, the only thing I’m still noticing from you is that landing on your triple axle. You’re a bit wobbly. I want you to focus on controlling your descent and really sticking it. It looks nearly perfect, you’re just making me a little nervous—this would be a shit time to have to go into an early retirement, wouldn’t it?” 

It’s said lightly, a hint of a smile at the tail end, but your face twinges like he’s snapped at you. Remus’ brow furrows in mild confusion, and Sirius feels a hard fist clench in his chest. He wouldn’t know what had made you react like that either, if you hadn’t repeated Peter’s words to him yourself. 

He told the other coach that I was one bad jump away from injuring myself into an early retirement.

“I’m not actually worried about that—you’re too skilled for an injury that severe to be very likely, I just,” Remus is watching you carefully, clearly trying to reason out where he went wrong, “thought I should bring it to your attention. Only as a precaution.” 

You nod several times, quicker and harder than necessary. “Yeah.” Your lips press into a smile. “I’ll be careful, thanks.” 

Sirius sets his hand on top of yours, shit at comfort but meaning to try anyway, but your hand slips away as you get up and sling your bag over your shoulder. 

“I have to get home,” you say, squeezing Sirius’ shoulder as if in apology. Your expression is tight. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” 

“Okay,” Remus echoes. He watches you go with a half-remorseful look on his face, like he doesn’t know what he’s done but he feels bad for it anyway. 

Seeing as you haven’t waited for him, Sirius supposes he’ll be walking home on his own today. He sets his skates in his bag, beginning to tug on his shoes. 

Remus broaches the silence almost tentatively. “Did she seem alright to you?” Sirius doesn’t know how to respond to that, but the other boy goes on before he has to. “Did…do you know if I said something to upset her?” 

Sirius shrugs. “Nope.” 

Remus can probably smell the lie—he’s not gone to any great lengths to conceal it—but Sirius doesn’t care. The look of hurt on your face has set a familiar protective ire buzzing beneath his skin, and Remus is the one who caused it. Neither of you owe him any explanation. 

Remus falls quiet again, but he waits while Sirius finishes packing up, walks with him towards the exit. 

“How long have you and James been friends?” he asks. 

“A long time,” Sirius answers shortly. “I moved in with him and his parents when I was sixteen.” 

“Oh.” Remus turns to look at him. Sirius feels his gaze, wide and curious, on the side of his face. “Yeah, a long time, then. It was nice to talk to him again. We used to run into each other so often, but I hadn’t seen him since…well, since I left, I suppose.” 

There’s a melancholy that lays itself down over those last few words, the nostalgia in Remus’ voice smothered underneath. Maybe it’s that quiet tone, maybe it’s the image of James and Remus together, laughing and talking about their futures on the ice during early mornings at the rink, but Sirius feels himself softening. 

“He mentioned something,” Remus says tentatively, “about your last coach. It didn’t sound like things ended well.” 

Sirius pushes out a breath. “They didn’t.” 

“Was he not very good?” 

“No,” he can hear the frustration seeping into his voice. He wishes Peter were worse at his job. That he’d been an idiot, didn’t understand your styles, and none of you had ever managed to get along. It would have made everything so much easier. “He was good.” 

“I’m not trying to pry,” says Remus, “but if what happened with him is going to affect how you two are with me—if it has anything to do with how I upset y/n today—I would appreciate if you told me.” 

So Sirius does. He’s not sparing with the details, and Remus doesn’t begrudge him the anger that grips him as he talks about Peter’s betrayal, where it left the two of you, how it’s still coming back to hurt you even now. It makes him furious, but where he’d expected Remus to take it all in calmly, Sirius is surprised when the other boy’s jaw gets tight as he listens. He has questions: How long had you worked with Peter? Did either of you have to get involved with the case, or did his emails speak for themselves? Does Sirius know how long Peter was playing double-agent? 

By the time they’re on Sirius’ block, Remus has begun alternating between shaking his head and huffy, revolted exhalations. 

“I can’t believe he said that to her.” He shakes his head, guilt digging into the space between his brows. “I can’t believe I said it, either, but I was only trying to make a joke about myself, not…she’s far too skilled to have a fall like that—well, anyone could, but she’s only as likely as anyone else at her level. Which isn’t very many people.” 

“That’s what I told her,” Sirius agrees. “I think she was mostly over it, but…” 

“I reminded her.” Remus sighs. “I’ll have to make it up to her.” 

“She’ll be alright,” he says honestly. “I think it just surprised her.” 

“She’s really good.” 

“I know.” 

“She has to know that.” 

“She…” Sirius hesitates. “Do we ever really know it, about ourselves?” 

“Oh, come off it.” Remus gives Sirius a knowing look. His mouth tugs up on one side. “You clearly know how good you are.” 

Sirius feels a pleased tingle of warmth in his face. He walks backwards up the stairs to his flat, leveling Remus with a cocky grin. “Am I?” 

“Don’t. You maintain your own ego well enough without my help.” 

“Oh, but it never hurts to have disciples.” He fishes out his key, unlocking the door. “You could remind me from time to time, just for fun.” 

When he turns, Remus is watching him from the sidewalk with a gleam of something like amusement in his eye. “Nail the spiral,” he says, “and we’ll see.”

[foundheavenly]

"Thank you"

Disclaimer: English is not my mother tongue so please be nice

Words: 480

Plot: you finally both have your little blessing

Pairing: Toji x reader as mamaguro

Theme: fluff, reader is Megumi’s mother, arranged marriage but true love, Toji is in awe and far from cold, true happiness

"Toji" You whispered, your voice barely audible over the hum of the hospital machinery.

As you lay there in this hospital room, exhausted yet elated, your eyes fixated on the sight before you. Toji stood by the window cradling your little boy, Megumi, in his arms. For the first time since your wedding day, you saw genuine happiness radiating from his face as he looked down at the tiny human being.

"Hm?" Toji turned to you, his eyes sparkling with tears of joy. "What is it?"

You smiled, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. "He's beautiful, isn't he?"

Toji nodded, his gaze returning to his son. "He's perfect. Our little blessing."

Megumi let out a tiny whimper, and Toji's expression softened even further as he gently rocked him back and forth. It was a moment you never thought you would witness – Toji Zen'in, the stoic and cold man you married through an arranged union, embracing fatherhood with such tenderness.

"Can I hold him?" You asked tiredly, reaching out your arms.

Toji nodded, carefully passing Megumi into your embrace. As you held your son close to your chest, you felt an overwhelming sense of love wash over you. This tiny bundle of joy was a symbol of your union, a testament to the unexpected happiness that had blossomed between you two.

"He's got your eyes," Toji remarked, his voice filled with awe.

"And your smile” You added with a chuckle, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.

Toji sat there on the side of the bed and put his hand on his son’s chest. You looked at your tiny boy in comfortable silence, your hearts overflowing with love for the little miracle in your arms. For the first time in years, you dared to believe that your arranged marriage had brought you something truly magical – a family bound together by love.

"I've never seen you this happy, Toji." You smiled, your heart swelling with love as you gazed at the tiny features of your son.

Toji was about to say something but he got interrupted by Megumi's delighted cooing, his tiny fingers grasping at Toji's large ones. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight, feeling a warmth spread through your chest.

Toji looked up, a soft smile gracing his lips, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "I never knew I could feel like this. He's changed everything." Toji confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

You reached out, gently brushing your fingers against Megumi's cheek, feeling the softness of his skin. "Me neither, but I'm grateful for every moment, especially now."

"As am I, my love. As am I." Toji leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead then at Megumi. "Thank you. For everything"

[befemininenow]

My coming out as a trans lesbian. (A message to my followers.)

Yes, everyone. I am "gay", or should I say, I'm a lesbian.

This may come as a shock to some of you since I would talk about "hot men" and even make captions about attracting hunks and whatnot. If you notice an absurd amount of those kind of captions surfacing this past week until now, that's because I was dealing with comphet, short for compulsive heterosexuality. In reality, I do not like men nor am I attracted to masculinity.

Why until now? One, it’s because I wanted to wait for the right time to come out and it was coincidentally on Lesbian Visibility Day. Two, it’s something I've been questioning ever since I found out I was trans. This didn’t happen in a day or two. It’s been years and I would have thought I was just pansexual. However, I was not sure whether I genuinely liked boys or if I just liked their validation. It turns out it's only the latter and I was questioning whether I was really gay or just gynosexual. I admit that getting positive reception from them turned me on and I could see the kindness and affection they displayed towards other women (something that really made me euphoric). But the moment you would place me next them for more, say, intimacy (I'm trying to keep it PG), I felt that spark turn off. Don't even get me started when they're bare or worse, send me D-picks (it's so nasty).

Now, I've never did any of that IRL. But, I've tried to interact with them through social sites. Not just in Tumblr, but in other sites like Grindr. If you ever think of creating a Grindr to meet, don't bother. It's hot garbage! All of them were chasers and not a single one was attractive. Only one "guy" seemed to be "cute"; it was a femboy, who was commencing their transition into a woman. Those were the only men I thought I was attracted to, but the reality is: I was only attracted to their femininity, but not their body or intimacy. Femboys are still men and I'm not attracted to men.

That got me questioning: Am I really only liking people for their femininity or do I genuinely only like girls? To make a long story short, I've never felt so much better than imagining myself being the lovely girl... of another girl! I always loved women as a guy, but now that I'm about to transition, being into women as a girl feels so right for me! No more comphet for me!

I know this is not the norm on these kind of blogs as the majority tend to be attracted to masculinity. However, I do want to say that even trans lesbians exist on the feminization scene. That leads me to tell all of you for the next update: You won't be seeing anymore new straight trans girl captions after the first few days of the next month. That's why you saw those kind of captions bombard my blog these past few days. It's just my way of saying "Let me just get it done with". I'm actually glad you enjoyed them, but I just don't feel any connection to those kind of captions anymore. I'll try to upload them when I can since I've been busier than usual.

Anyways, I'm happy you read this very long post. Even if you're not a lesbian, I hope this note at least gives you an insight on not keeping your true feelings locked any longer. Everyone deserves to be themselves. You should too.

Sincerely, Nikki.

[catsteeth]

Turn Your Cloak - Pt. 2

Benjicot/Davos Blackwood x reader 

+:✿ Request ✿:+ Original One Shot

Request: “A part 2 of the Benjicot Blackwood one shot. Reader returns to Dragonstone and shows Rhaenyra the letter from Benji, the two of them bond. Benjicot staying at Dragonstone for the remainder of the war. Benji being a huge simp for reader. A little spicy with dry humping, but no actual smut” CW: MDNI, grinding, making out,  afab reader, alcohol consumption, mention of arranged marriage, mention of medieval sexting, mention of violence,  A/N: woof woof Word Count: 9K

It had been a long night at Dragonstone for your Mother Rhaenyra. She had expected you back home late that night, but the sun began to rise and you had yet to return. She spent the night restlessly pacing back and forth. She would have taken Syrax to the Riverlands herself if it weren’t for the Knight whom burst into her chambers to announce, 

“Your Grace, the Princess and Silverwing were spotted approaching over the sea.” 

꒰ ୨୧ ─

Rhaenyra stormed into the gantry, ready to either berate you for causing her such distress or declare war on whomever harmed you. 

As she saw you dismounting Silverwing, unharmed, her concern faded and her anger rose. 

Her steps were heavy and quick, she huffed as she began to shout “Where have you-”

Before she could finish her question, you extended your hand towards your mother. Holding a scrolled piece of parchment, sealed by red wax stamped with the Blackwoods symbol. “An official proposal of marriage from Benjicot Blackwood.” You said with a prideful smile, knowing you had completed your task and accomplished it on your own terms.

Your mother’s angry demeanor dropped, surprised by your words and happiness. “Blackwood?” She questioned with furrowed brows, confused.

You nodded with a smile, “I wish to marry him, mother.” 

Rheanrya looked at your smile with confusion, then looked at the scroll in her hands, “I-” She began, but soon took hold of your hand and pulled you along. “Come here.”

꒰ ୨୧ ─

As she pulled you into a secluded room, she preyed the wax seal off of the parchment and began to read it in haste. 

You furrowed your brows, unsure of why she would not rejoice with you. She wanted this afterall. “Do you contest it?” You questioned, genuinely confused. 

She shook her head, “No.” She said calmly, looking up from the parchment and back at you. “I am simply surprised.” She said, a small smile creeping its way onto her face. “You left here begging to not wed, no more than a day ago. And here you are, handing me a proposal of marriage with a smile.” She said with an amused smirk as she stepped towards you.

You shrugged, “I admit I did not enjoy the men who contended, nor did I enjoy being contended for.” You said with a raised eyebrow and annoyed huff, thinking back to that horrid procession. 

She let out a breath of a laugh, “Well then he must have contended well enough.” She said, rolling up the parchment. 

You smiled to yourself, though you tried to conceal it poorly “He did not contend for my hand.” Your mother looked at you with confusion. “He fought valiantly against a Bracken who defiled our name, and questioned my parentage.” You looked at your mother and smiled warmly, “When I thanked him, that was when he proposed.” You couldn’t contain the blush creeping onto your cheeks as you thought of it,  “Away from prying eyes and ears.” That was true. But you would leave out the bit of that night where his fingers were pleasuring you. You looked at your mother with much more earnest eyes, “I feel I can depend on him, lean on him. And I feel he has humility. And he feels he can lean on me.” You said as you stepped closer to her, placing a hand onto hers.

Your mother smiled, and took your hand that held hers. “Then you have done the crown and your mother the queen a great service. A raven will be sent to the Blackwoods in haste. And we shall invite… Bran?...” She drawed out, attempting to remember the poor boy's name.

“Benjicot-” You corrected,

She immediately interrupted you and corrected herself, “Benjicot Blackwood will be invited warmly to live here at Dragonstone until the end of the war. Once the war has been won, you and he shall wed.” She and you smiled at one another. She, happy her daughter whom was forced to pick a spouse not only did so but found one she loved. And you, happy you found the person you would commit your life to. You mothers eyes, became slightly narrowed, “Gōntan mirros massigon rȳ ao se bisa valonqar?” “Did something happen between you and this boy?” She asked in Valyarian. Not wishing for anyone else to hear. She looked at your look of surprise and confusion, “Ao istan hen ry bantis. Nyke daor, issa hāedar. Nyke sepār- īlon līs sagon. Lo jorrāelagon sagon nyke kostagon syt nykeā sūmar naejot sagon-” “You were gone all night- I am not placing judgment, sweet girl. I just- we must be cautious. If need be I can arrange for a tea to be given-”

You shook your head, “No.” Though your mothers eyes still narrowed you realized that you had not explained why you were gone all night. “We were trapped within the Riverlands from a storm.” 

And with that, she was convinced. Though if the honest truth was told, you wished you were in need of such tea.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

And so the raven was sent, and eagerly Lord Blackwood responded with great enthusiasm as you expected. Benjicott would of course accept the invitation to Dragonstone. You wanted to take Silverwing to the Riverlands and bring him back home yourself. But your mother insisted on a more traditional manner. 

Your grandsire, Corlys and your brother, Jace escorted you to the harbors of the Vale. You stood at the front of your Grandsires ship. The Queen Who Never Was. You watched the land before you came closer and closer with a growing anticipation. It nearly startled you when you felt a strong hand caress your shoulder. You looked over your shoulder to see your Grandsire, Corlys. 

“I was about your age when I was wed to your grandmother.” He said with a comforting smile. “I was more nervous than when I first sailed to battle.” He said with a comforting pat on your back. 

You smiled at him and shook your head, “I am not nervous.” 

He let out a low and dry chuckle, “You never are.” He said as he watched the land approach the ship.

You looked at the party waiting at the harbor. Blackwood's banners flew in the wind. And you could see from such a distance, Lord Willem Blackwood already waving down your ship. You grimaced and then looked towards Corlys, “Grandsire.” 

“Hm?” He hummed.

You looked at him as you scrunched up your face, “I should warn you of his uncle, Willem.” 

He raised an eyebrow and looked at you with confusion, “Warn me?” No one would ever frighten Corlys, much less pose a threat to him. But what he did not know is that you were not speaking of a threat to his safety but to his patience. 

As the ship docked into the harbor, you smiled at Willem and waved back as you leaned into your grandsire, “Just smile at his words and ignore the rest.” you spoke through your teeth. 

As soon as you and your grandsire stepped off the boat, Willem Blackwood stepped forward, embracing you firmly. 

Your eyes went wide, surprised but unwilling to push the man off. Your grandsire debated tearing the man off of you but soon enough he let you go as he announced with great enthusiasm. “The princess!” He said as he patted your arms excitedly, “You’ll be my niece now eh? My niece the princess-” Soon your eyes darted behind him. You saw him, Ben. You watched him approach as he carried a bag of his belongings while scowling at his uncle for embarrassing him and annoying you and your family. Once Willem noticed his nephew coming he then excitedly announced, “And my nephew the prince!” He said with a hard pat to Ben’s back.

“Uncle.” Benjicot said in a deep and annoyed tone. Both a greeting and a warning for him to stop talking.

You smiled, trying to hold back blush as Ben’s eyes fell onto you. You bowed your head slightly as you greeted him. “Lord Blackwood, a pleasure.” You tried to remain formal around your families, for they did not know how intimate you both had become.

Ben’s gaze softened as he looked at you. He took your hand, kissing your knuckles gently, then bringing your hand close to his heart. “My Princess, I am eternally honored and grateful for your hand.” Ben then looked to your Grandsire who stood protectively by your side. “Lord Corlys, an honor to meet you and board your ship.” He said with a respectful bow of his head. 

Corlys’s lips began to curl into a smile, he might have even patted the boy on the shoulder. But he was interrupted by Lord Willems' voice booming once again.

“Suppose that would make Lord Corlys your grandsire by law!” He said with another hard pat to Ben’s back. Benjicot closed his eyes and grimaced from the embarrassment. 

Your grandsire let out a sharp exhale as he placed a hand on your shoulder, “We’d better board.” He said with a put on smile.

Benjicot nodded, “Agreed.”

꒰ ୨୧ ─

Once you boarded the ship, you found Benjicot standing at the railing of the ship alone.

“Do you like the sea?” You asked as you approached him. Ben’s eyes lit up as he turned to see you.

He smiled softly, turning his body to face you completely leaning against the railing of the ship. He shook his head, “Never seen it before. Only seen the rivers.” He took the sight of you in, “Quite different.” You continued to come closer to him. You stopped as your feet nearly touched his own.

You shook your head, “Not so different. Rivers flow to the sea, and the sea to the rivers.” You looked out to the waves of blue that surrounded the ship, “It’s such a thing of beauty.” you said taking in the sight.

Ben looked at you with loving eyes, “Yes it is.” You blushed, knowing he did not mean the ocean but you. He then finally turned his head to look at the water, “You’ll rule over it all someday.” 

You nodded, “That is true enough though I am unsure how fit I am for it.” you said as you looked down at your fingernails picking at your nail beds nervously.

Ben looked at you confused at your statement, “How do you mean?” He crossed his arms and looked at you closely. Wanting to listen to you as intensively as possible.

You looked at him with a slight annoyance. Surely he knew what you meant. The world knew what you meant. You looked over your shoulder to be sure no one was there to hear your words, “You understand what you are marrying?” You asked him with narrowed eyes.

He nodded confidently without hesitation, “A woman, a woman as brave and intelligent as she is beautiful.” His words were earnest.

You sighed, looking at the sea. You debated whether you should say such treasonous truths openly. But you were alone, and he was to be bound to you for life. So you began, softly speaking “My father taught me to fish, sea shanties, the ways of the sea and how to sail a ship through it. He loved me, my grandmother loved me too. So does my grandsire. They are my family, but they are not my blood.” Ben did not look surprised, nor did he look disappointed. That was when you knew he knew it. “You know it. They all know it. So do you, you are not an idiot.” You said, rolling your eyes.

He shook his head and took your hand into his, “I don’t care.” He was not in denial as your grandsire Viserys was. He knew it was the truth, he simply did not care about such pious, hypocritical, and righteous shit.

You narrowed your eyes at him, “You should care. Your children by my womb will-”

“Will be my only children.” He interrupted you, not willing to hear you speak ill of yourself or your future children, “I do not care, if you had the blood of swineherds. I do not care what color your hair is. What I care for is you.” He asserted firmly.

You felt your heart melt. Though you knew the real consequences of your birth, “If the greens win, they’ll kill me.” you said somberly, wanting to prepare him for such a possibility. 

“No one will ever touch you.” He said as if it were a fact. 

“Sister.” Jaceryous’s voice called out startling you. 

“Jace.” You said out of breathe, “This is Benjicot Blackwood-” 

Jace interrupted, “Seven blessings to you both. Sister, I must speak with you alone.” He said, his voice devoid of any earnest happiness. 

You sighed at your brother, “Alright. In a moment.” you said, waving him off dismissively. You waited for him to walk back inside the ship before you turned to Ben, “I am sorry for him.” 

Ben shook his head, “It’s alright, he is distrusting of me for good reason. He does not know me and wants to protect you and your blood.” He trusted Jace more for it, and appreciated him more for it as well. 

You however did not share such sentiments. You held his face in your hands, “You are my blood now.” You said as you kissed him one last time before making your way into the ship to follow after Jace. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─

As you entered his cabin you huffed, “That was behavior unbefitting a prince.” you sneered at him. 

Jace however did not care of your concerns of how he treated your betrothed. He handed you a piece of parchment, “Read this.” he said quickly. 

As you read the letter it unveiled the plans your mother was planning in you and your brother's absence. To send ships to King's Landing to bring back Targaryen bastards to become dragon riders for her claim. 

Though you were thrilled with the idea, it was better than defeat. “This is good is it not?” You questioned. 

Jace took the parchment from your hand and huffed at you, “How could that be good?” he asked with his ever present attitude. 

You raised a brow at him “Was this idea not of your own doing? You thought of a Tarly on top of a dragon because it is better than death and defeat.” 

“A bastard on a dragon?” He said as if it were ridiculous. 

“It’s not unheard of.” You mumbled to yourself. 

“This is serious.” Jace affirmed, “If she follows through with this plan, she brings more questions to our parentage.” He said as if you were a fool. 

You scoffed at your brother’s vanity. “People need nothing to question it when they’ve eyes.” You looked at him, your eyes softening. “Make your peace with it.” 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Back on Dragonstone, though the war was not over, preparations for your wedding were underway with haste. It was clear as soon as the war was done, your courtship would be as well. Making good on the promise your family made to the Riverlands. 

You stood in front of a mirror in your wedding gown that was being tailored to you. It was not like a traditional Targaryen gown. It was ivory with thick lace embroidery throughout the fabric, like the way sea foam floats against the surface of the ocean. Adorned with pearls sewn into the fabric sporadically. The sleeves were fitted up to your elbow, where they flared out, flowing freely like the way seaweed flows in the ocean. Underneath these bell sleeves were a second layer of sleeves with a distinct pointed design. Your inner sleeves were more fitted around the wrist as they extend out into a sharp point over the back of the hands. Pearls were sewn into the thick embroidery that lined the pointed cuffs of your sleeves that cascaded over the backs of your hands. The dress was long and flowed behind you like a river.

You’d even worn a pigment on your eyelids. A shining blueish, pinkish, silver, that came from crushed seashells. Your lips and cheeks blushed as the veil was placed onto your head. The veil drapes elegantly over you, slightly covering your forehead, draping against your shoulders before flowing behind you and dragging along the floor. The veil is crafted from lace, with an ornate pattern. The intricate lacework is densely populated with aquatic motifs. Along the edges, the lace appears scalloped. The most eye-catching feature along the veil’s border are teardrop-shaped pearls, hanging like delicate droplets from the edge of the fabric. 

“I never thought I would see you in a veil.” Baela said as she fixed how the veil hung around your shoulders admiring the details of the fabric. 

You smiled at your reflection, and shook your head. “Neither did I.”

You really didn’t. You were content to live your life on dragon back. You were content to die on dragon back, in fire and blood. But now the tides had shifted. You felt more reason to continue, more reason to live, a reason that was not revenge. 

Baela smiled as she looked at you in the mirror, “He certainly seems taken with you.” She’d only seen glimpses of he and you, but even in those moments, the look in his eyes told it all. 

You blushed and looked down, fidgeting with the pearls on your sleeve, “I must admit I am taken with him.”

She breathed a laugh, “I assumed as much. You’d never take a husband if he were not truly exceptional in your eyes.” She said with an amused tone.

You nodded, “Beat a Bracken to a bloody mess in the mudd over an insult against my name.” you said with a girlish smile on your face. 

Her eyes widened slightly, “Exceptional indeed.” she nodded. 

“How beautiful you look.” Your mothers voice chimed in unexpectedly, making you almost flinch. Her voice was soft, and her eyes looked like she just might cry seeing her daughter in a wedding gown. 

Baela looked to Rhaenyra and knew she wanted this moment to be alone with you. She bowed her head to her before leaving the room.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, fidgeting with the fabric, “It is not quite traditional for a Targaryen.” you noted. 

“No.” She said as she approached you. She placed her hands on your shoulders and looked at you in the mirror, smiling at how beautiful you looked. “Traditional for a Valyrian.” 

You did not say anything to the remark, but turned your head to your mother, “Have you met him yet?” You asked softly, “Benjicot?”

She shook her head, “I have not, I intend to do so as soon as I am able. But your grandsire says he seems quite loyal to you.” She said with a soft smile as she ran her hand over your hair that hid behind your veil.

You smiled though you tried to hide it, “He is.” you nodded. You looked back at yourself in the mirror, “Do you think it’s too much?” You fussed with the neckline of your dress, “I feel I look silly.”

“No. Not at all.” She said, still smiling as she took your face into her hands, “Skorkydoso biare aōha kepas sagon.” “How proud your fathers would be.” She spoke in High Velaryon. 

Her words though sweet made you feel melancholy, “I wish they could be here. I did not often think of my wedding as a girl. Though when I did, I imagined them, and Luke, Viserys, and Rhaenys. I imagined them all there.”

“My sweet girl.” She tried to comfort you, “You will have your mother, your brothers, your grandsire, your cousins who shall soon be your sisters.”

You shook your head, “Nyke jurnegon hae iā pirtir” “I look like a pretender.” 

Your mother huffed, “Iksā lopor se embar, ānogar se perzys.  Kesan rȳbagon daorun tolī hen bisa. Iksā iā Targārien, konir sagon mirre bona.” “You are salt and sea, blood and fire. I will hear nothing more of this. You are a Targaryen, that is all that matters.” 

You bit your lip, not knowing what to say. But soon your curiosity got the better of you. “Are the smallfolk you summoned arriving today?”

Her eyes softened, having sympathy for your grief, “Yes.” She soon became slightly defensive, “Do you disapprove of this as your brother?”

“No.” You lied. And tore the veil from your head off. “I mislike it. My fathers dragon being passed to someone I do not know. But we need more riders. I want revenge. I want you to win. So, whatever must be done.” You said reluctantly as you began to take off the gown you wore. 

Your mother, feeling guilty, tried to help you. She felt your skin, surprised at how warm you were, “You feel hot.” She said, worried you were ill. 

You shook your head, continuing to take off your gown, “I get angry when I think of it.” 

She did not know if you meant the war or the bastards and did not dare ask. “You should take to Silverwing.” She said, If she could not comfort you, perhaps your beast would. 

“I intend to.” You said stepping out of your gown. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

As you took to Silverwing in the sky, you and she danced over the sea. You practiced the same commands and movements again and again. You rode her, plunging her down, her feet and tail slashing against the surface of the sea. Just as you would in battle. You would get her low, and say the word… “Dracarys!” Her flames would envelop Criston Cole's armies, though only now they died out as they hit the water. Then you pulled her back up, and up, and up into the skies until you and she met the clouds. You were getting good at navigating through clouds, mist, and fog. You’d not allow Aemond to get any advantage over you.

Though soon again you and she twirled and glided back down. Weaving through the sky as you imagined the battle.

Though what you did not know was that Benjicot was watching your movements in awe of you. He leaned against the stone hedge that surrounded the cliftside of Dragonstone and allowed himself to get lost in you and Silverwings dance. So lost he’d not notice your mother approaching behind him. 

“My daughter is a skilled rider.” She said as she approached him.

Ben startled, turning to your mother and bowing his head, “Your grace.” he said respectfully. She waved her hand for him to relax. He looked back to you in the sky, “She’s magnificent.”

Rheynera nodded, “Silverwing was her great great grandmother's dragon. She is a beautiful and formidable creature, that is sure.” She said as she made her way to Benjicots side watching you in the sky. 

Ben looked at your mother, “I meant your daughter.” 

She looked at him, somewhat surprised “Yes, yes she is. She is also beautiful and formidable.” She said, breathing a laugh, “You and I will share a commonality.” She began, facing him. “I assume you have gathered by now, my daughter- the princess is a woman of strong will.” 

“Yes.” Ben said as he nodded with a smile

“I do not wish for my daughter to see war. I have lost my son, and I will not lose her.” She spoke as if she were giving Ben a mission of his own, “She is steadfast on accomplishing her revenge. That is what she is doing now. Preparing to burn green armies to ash.” She said as she looked towards you in the sky. “I fear her brother wishes to fight for his own pride. But she wishes to fight for revenge.” She looked back to Ben, “I am her mother. My word means little. She will obey my order as her Queen, but it will not settle the rage in her.” She looked at him hopefully, “Perhaps you can.” 

He looked at you for a moment, then back to Rhaenyra, “I am devoted to your daughter's safety. To her happiness. With the greatest of respect to your Grace, I’ll not prevent her from any action she wishes to take.” She felt somewhat surprised that a man of his status would openly disobey the word of the queen. But it made her happy that someone would do such a thing for her daughter. “However, I will try with all my being to ease that anger and bring her some kind of happiness.” He said before leaving. 

Rhaenyra stood there, unsure of what to make of this first encounter. But soon realized she was lucky, you were lucky, to be blessed with a man who’d do anything to please you. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

Back in the castle, Jace found his mother in her council chambers. “I am unsure of him.” Jace said, weary of a newcomer to his family. Both in a time of war and treachery as well as the threat that he may only marry you to raise the status of his house. 

Rhaenyra shook her head softly, “He has embraced his role as her husband with great pride, warmth, and passion. A rare thing in political marriage.” She said defending him and you. 

Jace scoffed, “He beat a Bracken senseless. Hardly a marriage to mend ties with the Riverlands.” He argued back

“He defends her name with fierce loyalty, defends my name and yours.” She defended once again, “And we have mended ties with the Riverlands.” 

Jace sighed, “How can we be certain he can be trusted.” 

“He has given us no reason to not.” She shrugged, “He has shown unwavering respect and admiration. And a fierce loyalty to her protection and honor.” She looked to Jace with adoring eyes, “I would say you are simply protective of your sister’s heart, as you should be. Though I believe he may share that same protectiveness.” 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・

You sat up on top of a high hill, listening to the crashing of the waves and the loud breathing of Silverwing. You were watching the waves, waiting for the ship of Targaren Bastards to approach. You had a pit in your stomach, you did not want for this. You knew it would only add insult to injury. But you also knew it would be critical to your mother’s success in this war.

Though you could not sulk for very long before you heard the long grass of the hill rustling more than it normally did. As you turned around you looked and saw Benjicot as he pounced upon you. Wrapping his arms around you in a playful attempt to scare you. And it worked. You squealed as he took hold of you. But Silverwing let out a growl that made him let you down gently.

“Men should not sneak up on women!” You said breathlessly as you tried not to giggle. 

He bit his tongue as his hands found your sides again, though moving slowly as to not upset your protective beast, “Don’t act so coy after you sent such letters.” He said with a devious smirk. 

It was true, you and he had exchanged many letters since you returned to Dragonstone. Before you had sailed to get him you and he sent three private letters. Each more explicit than the next. You could not help it. He had given you a taste of mortal pleasure and you longed for so much more.

You smirked back at him, and shook your head. “That is no way to speak to a princess.” you teased. 

He cupped your chin with his hand, “My Princess.” He kissed your lips softly, and gently. As he pulled away he spoke again though this time more earnestly, “You rode valiantly.”

You blushed slightly, you did not know he was watching you ride, and you felt somewhat embarrassed. But you smiled, “Thank you, my Lord,” You pushed him off of you playfully, “or perhaps I should say my Prince now.” you teased as you continued to walk along the tall grass hills overlooking the ocean.

He followed after you, “You know I don’t like that title.” 

You nodded, looking back at him, “I know it riles you. Makes your blood hot.” You smirked at him. 

He ran after you once again, grabbing hold of your arm and pulling you into him, “Are you challenging me?” He asked with a lustful gaze. 

You raised your eyebrows at him, looking at him with big innocent eyes. “All good wives should challenge their husbands.”

He nodded and bit his lip as he came closer to you, “You are a constant challenge. Challenging my restraint, and my ability to protect your virtue.” He said his eyes trailing from your eyes to your lips to your neck. 

You ran your hands from his neck to his chest, then pressed your lips to his own, “Mmm…” You moaned into his lips as your hand continued to wander further down over his stomach. Making him groan softly into your lips as well. You grabbed hold of his cock through his breeches making his hiss and breaking your kiss. You looked at him with a mischievous grin, “Because I do not wish for my virtue to be protected.” You said as you pushed him back again and ran off again laughing at him. 

He growled under his breath as he ran after you. He tackled you to the ground but you overpowered him, flipping him onto his back. You took his wrists and placed him above his head pinning him down. He could have overpowered you back but didn’t. He enjoyed this view far too much. He smiled up at you breathless. “I think we’re a good match don’t you?” You said in a seductive tone. 

He bit his tongue and laughed, nodding, “A very good match.”

You leaned down and kissed him. “I missed you.” You said breathlessly between kisses and moans. “I kept all your letters, read them again and again.”

He groaned, he held your face as he passionately kissed you. “Your last letter near drove me mad, you know?”

You giggled to yourself quietly, “I hope you made good use of my smallclothes.”

He nodded, “I did.” He groaned and squirmed a bit, “I’m already getting hard thinking of it.” 

He was, you could feel it underneath your clothed cunt.

Ben put his hands firmly around your thighs, squeezing you tightly. It made you squeal. The sound of it made Silverwing stir from her slumber. Which in turn made Ben loosen his grip on you. Scared to upset your beast. 

You chuckled to yourself lowly, “Don’t worry about her.” you shook your head.

“Easy enough for you to say.” He scoffed, “If she thinks I’m harming you she’ll swallow me whole.” 

You laughed slightly amused by his fear, “No she won’t.” You shook your head, “She and I are bonded by old Valyria. She can feel what I feel. She knows I am not scared of you.” You tried to tell him but he was still not completely convinced. Though you were sure overtime he would see. You turned to Silverwing, “Silverwing, jikagon arghugon!” You commanded, and she flew off and away into the sky.

Ben looked up at you in awe of your abilities, “What did that mean?”

You looked back down at him, surprised that he would take such an interest, “Silverwing, go hunt.”

He sat up on his elbows, getting closer to you, “Teach me your language.” 

You smiled, it was a sacred language. One only taught to the noble and wealthy. But he was to be your husband, and your children’s father. “Vūjigon issa.” You said with a soft smile, 

“Vūjigon issa?” His pronunciation was not perfect, but good for someone just beginning to learn the language. “What did that mean?”

“Kiss me.” You said with lustful eyes, and he obeyed eagerly. Pulling your face to his and kissing you passionately. 

You could feel him hardening even more beneath you. You couldn’t help but rock yourself against it. The bulge of his breeches rubbed against your cunt in the most delicious way. He gripped onto the plush of your ass and helped you rub against him harder. Your moans into his mouth only encouraged his cock.

“You feel so good,” He moaned into your lips. 

“So do you.” You moaned back, you began to grind against his cock harder, rolling your hips into a rhythm, “I can feel you- throbbing.” You whimpered against his lips. 

He ran his hands through your dark hair, pulling it as you continued to rub against him, “If good wives challenge their husbands, you’ll be the best.” He wanted more than anything to take you right then. To tear the neckline of your dress and push up your skirts and fuck you like an animal would. 

He tried to keep himself in control but it slipped through his fingers for just a moment as he flipped you onto your back.

You moaned, and breathlessly you pleaded, “I want my husband to fuck me.”

He groaned, and shook his head, “I’m not your husband yet,” He was angry he had to wait so long to make you his in the eyes of the realm and the gods. “Ah it’s fucking torture. I need you to be my wife.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, “You need me to be your wife to fuck me?”

“How good of a husband can I be if I cannot protect my intended’s virtue?” He said with a grin, but his grin faded as he ran his hand against your cheek, “But I don’t need you to be my wife just so I can fuck you- I need you to be my wife because I love you.” 

The words slipped from his lips. You felt just as thrown off as he did. 

You’re eyes went wide, “You-” 

“I love you.” He asserted firmly. He had no doubt in his mind he loved you. Ever since he saw you on that beast. 

You smiled, a smile of pure bliss. “I love you.” You said back to him with loving eyes. 

You both let out a breath of relief, and laughed for a short while. He rested his forehead against your own and kissed you once before.

“Say it in Valyrian.” He asked with a smirk, 

“Avy jorrāela.” You said holding his face adoringly. 

“Avie jorraela.” His pronunciation was still not perfect but it was well enough. 

Your lips met once again, and he began to grind his cock into your clothed cunt again. The friction making him moan into your mouth, and you into his. You bit his lip in desperation, wanting so much more than he was giving you. 

You then rolled him back over onto his back. He laughed breathlessly for a moment before he was interrupted by a moan leaving his lips. 

As you kept rolling your hips and grinding against him, your hands went to the laces of your dress. Pulling them loose. Ben thought he might die when he saw your shoulders becoming further and further exposed. 

“We can’t-“ He shook his head frantically. 

“I know-“ You nodded, “Can we just do this? It feels so good-“ You said as you continued to moan.

As you kept going, your dress began to slip lower and lower. His eyes fixated on your body as your dress exposed your breasts, “Keep going-fuck! You’re so beautiful.” He knew he would be done soon enough. The sight of your body was enough to make him mad.

“I want you in me so badly.” You moaned, 

Gods you were driving him mad, begging so beautifully as you rocked against him, breasts bouncing. 

He moaned, “Fuck-I can’t- I want to but I, I can’t sully you.” His eyes went dark, “I’d kill any fucker who tried.” He growled possessively. 

“I love you bloody-” You smirked, but your smile was interrupted as your face contorted in pleasure again. “Qopsa” “Harder.” You moaned, and reached for his wrist. Pulling his hand to grab hold of your breast. Knowing he was too shy to do it himself.

He groaned, and you could feel him throbbing underneath you, “I’m going to-” 

You nodded, “I know, so am I.” You leaned over, practically laying on top of him as you continued to grind against him. You lips and his collided as you both reached your peak.

You rolled onto your back. Laying there side by side together trying to catch your breath. Ben rolled onto his side and propped himself up by his elbow as he looked over you.

“How did the Gods bless me with such a maiden?” He asked breathlessly with an absent minded smile.

You smiled back, and shook your head, “They blessed you with nothing. I chose you.” You said placing a hand on his cheek.

Ben took your hand that held his cheek, and brought it to his lips to kiss your palm “Then I must worship you.”

You looked over to the ocean, and noticed a ship approaching. You knew it was the one harboring the Targaryen’s that were about to risk their lives for a new life. You sat up, pulling up your sleeve over your shoulder. 

“We should head back.” Your demeanor changed. From one of relaxed bliss to one of contempt. 

He sat up, and began helping tighten the laces of your dress for you, “How do you feel about this?” He questioned gently. 

You shook your head, and sighed. As he finished with the ties you stood, “It matters not what I feel.”

He stood, and grabbed your wrist, “Of course it does. It does to me.” he asserted. 

You looked at him, and sighed. “My mother has been left with few options. Her choice is to win or die.” You shook your head, “Her choice is to win, or we all die. And I am not blind to the irony, I know I am no more deserving of a dragon than they are.” Ben wanted to interject and argue that point in the opposite direction but you continued, “So I must support this course of action though it tastes of ash and blood in my mouth.”

You tried to continue on, but he pulled you back once more, “I did not ask about the war. I asked about you.”

You looked down to the sea, at the ship approaching. “I tried to claim Seasmoke when I was ten and two.” You turned to Ben, “I had just lost my father and I wanted his dragon desperately. I thought if I had him, I’d have a bit of my father. So I snuck into the dragonpit.” He smiled at the thought of you doing that. “Perhaps it was too soon for him, or perhaps I was not ready but Seasmoke nearly killed me. He opened his jaws and readied himself to burn me. But Silverwing scared him off.” You looked down, shamefully, “I always thought he knew I didn’t have pure Valaryian blood.” Your tension began to rise, “If a bastard born from some silver haired Targaryen who spent too long in a pleasure house, would be able to claim him and I couldn’t-” You took a deep breath, looking at Ben, “I mislike all of this. But I understand the order of things.” 

You finished as you continued on down the hill. Ben was not far behind. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

You did not attend the claiming of the dragons. You knew it would be bloody. You also did not wish to seem as if you were enthusiastic about this plan of action.

Though with supper approaching, you figured you should probably know where your family was standing after this procession took place.

You wandered the halls of Dragonstone looking for Jace with Benjicot. Finally after some time you found your brother in the library sulking. You waved to Ben to stay outside the room as you entered. You knew you had to speak to him alone. 

“What was the outcome?” You spoke softly, not wanting to upset him further. 

He turned the page of his book angrily “Both dragons have been claimed. Seasmoke has been claimed. Claimed by some drunk old man they call… Ulf.” He said, in an attempt to make you as angry as he was. 

And it worked, you were mad. You didn’t give him the satisfaction however. “Stop pouting.” 

“I’m not pouting.” He said, flipping another page.

You scoffed, “You are pouting. Pouting as our mother awaits us.” You sat next to him, “You’re angry, I know it.” You said gently. 

“How are you not?” He looked at you with an annoyed demeanor. 

“I am angry. Angry that our family has been torn apart and burnt to ash. I want revenge and I support our mother.” You spoke softly but intently, needing him to understand why such action though unpleasant was critical. 

“They are an insult to us. To what makes us Targaryens. If any common lout can ride a dragon then-”

You interrupted him, “Speak for yourself, I am not common.” You stood and paced the room,

“You know what we are.” Jace said with a dark voice. 

You shrugged, “Everyone does. So why should I care.”

“Does your betrothed know?” He asked almost mockingly.

You stopped your pacing and looked at Jace, “Just as Baela knows.” You stepped closer to Jace, “You act as though we are the first noble bastards. I am the princess and you the crown prince. We are children of the rightful queen. And you sit here sulking over dragons and if not that then something else.” You took hold of Jace’s shoulder, “It is true we’ve must prove ourselves. We’ve to prove to the people we are worthy of the status our mother gave to us. So get up and take your place by our mother’s side.” 

And with that, you left him. You hoped you would see him for supper, but if not the House of the Dragon was going to be safe another day. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ 

As you began to walk down the hall, Ben followed closely. You looked over your shoulder at him and smiled at him. Your smile drove him mad. He playfully began to chase you once again. He was so close though it was hardly a chase. He grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you into him as his arm wrapped around your waist tightly and held you close. You gave in quickly and happily. Your arms wrapping around his neck. His lips met yours passionately as he lifted you with ease and spun you around in the hall. Uncaring of anyone who saw. 

He placed you down gently as his smiling lips continued to meet your own repeatedly as he pushed you against the stone wall. 

As your lips parted, you smiled softly and absent mindedly as you looked at him with loving eyes, “I did not think love would find me in such a sad world.” You said as you ran your thumb across the scar on his lip.

He shook his head as he looked at you with adorning eyes, “I’ll always find you.”

You bit your lip and looked at his, though you had kissed him a thousand times now you still hungered for more. And he shared that same hunger.

His lips and yours collided once more, in a passionate and loving embrace. Though the heaven that your kiss brought would soon be interrupted by the sounds of a man’s crude laughter echoing down the halls. 

Benjicot immediately looked down the hall, looking for anyone who might have disturbed you both. He pushed you behind him slightly, in an attempt to defend whatever threat might have been there.

You however furrowed your brows in annoyance, “What is that?” You asked as you pushed yourself away from Ben’s protection and continued to walk down the hall towards the laughter.

Ben of course followed closely behind. Soon you reached the council room where you heard the same voice speaking, “This is more like it, Hugh, don’t you think?”

You stood outside the room listening in more carefully.

Another voice beckoned out the room, “We’re meant to be at the training yards learnin’ the commands.”

The same voice as before once again called out, “Yeah, and I will go, but surely they’d not deny me my pleasure after so long. I may never eat fish again.” he replied. 

You entered the room angered. You knew these must have been the Targaryen bastards who claimed those sacred beasts. Your anger only grew as you saw them sitting at the council table.

“What are you doing here?” You questioned, narrowing your eyes and storming into the room. You saw the man more clearly now, his feet sitting upon the council table. “Remove your feet from the table.” You spat at him. This man dared place his feet on your mothers table- sitting in your mothers seat. 

“I’d rather not.” The gray haired oafish old man said, refusing your command which only made your anger rise, and Benjicot’s anger rose.

The other man tried to correct his behavior, “Ulf-” 

Though you interrupted him, staring daggers at the man as you approached him, Ulf… The man who claimed Seasmoke, it made you hate it all the more, “It is not a matter of what you want.”

“What is it a matter of then, girl?” Ulf asked unabashedly. 

Benjicot grabbed hold of the hilt of his sword, “You dare speak to her like that?” he hissed at the gray haired bastard. 

Hugh attempted once again to knock sense into Ulf, “She’s the princess, Ulf. Princess (Y/N) Velaryon.” 

Immediately Ulf threw his feet down from the table and stood, “Princess (Y/N) Velaryon! Right here!” He said with great enthusiasm, it reminded you of Willem. “Who’d thought it?”

“You’re in her home.” Ben said with venom in his tone as he stepped closer to the man, “She’ll have an apology from you.” Benjicot sneered at the man.

“Ah! The young princess!” Ulf said with great excitement as he stepped closer to you, making Ben rush to your side as well, “Look at that hair!” Ulf tried to place his hand into your dark hair, though Ben’s hand grabbed Ulfs wrist before he could touch you. “As dark as they say.” He remarked. “Let them tell us we don’t have Targaryen blood, eh?”

Benjicot would not allow a man to question your parentage no matter if it were true or not. No matter if the man was a dragonrider or not. “Her mother is the queen and-”

“My niece. Dragonriders both.” He said as if he were reminiscing on your pasts together. You felt more angered by it, he did not know you and he was certainly not your family. Perhaps blood bound you together but not family. “You and I… cut from the same cloth.” You felt a sting of resentment. This is the man who claimed your fathers dragon dare call himself your uncle?

“You claiming Seasmoke was a sacred inheritance of which you know nothing.” You hissed at him. 

“Forgive him, princess. He is not much used to the manners of court.” Hugh said, attempting to remedy the growing tension in the room. 

“Or any fucking manners at all I’d say.” Benjicot said, still grasping hold of the hilt of his sword.

Ulf’s eyes finally left you, and landed onto Ben. “You must be her lad, eh?” He questioned mockingly with a grin. 

“I’m her husband to be.” Ben said protectively and proudly. 

“To be.” Ulf mocked in jest, though Ben did not find it amusing. 

But rather than allow Ben to spill blood of a man in your mother’s council room, spill the blood of a dragonrider whom you needed. You stepped forward and began to speak, “Do you know what has happened this last hour?” Your eyes bore into Ulf’s soul, and you stepped closer to him. “The so-called Prince regent has burned Sharp Point down to its stones. Thousands of its folk dead or lost. Its harbor has been reduced to ash.” Ulf swallowed hard, now understanding the gravity of his position, “Will you prepare to face such an enemy? Or will you stay here and make yourself easy?” You sneered at him, “If you hinder our efforts through sloth or unreadiness I will allow my husband to do whatever he wishes with you.” You threatened and the room fell silent. 

Ben’s eyes stayed on Ulf, waiting for that apology. 

Ulf stammered before he finally spit out, “I meant no disrespect, my princess.” 

You nodded, “Best be on your way to the training yards then.” You tilted your head to get him moving. 

Ulf and Hugh then scattered and scurried off to the training yards as they were meant to.

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

At supper, Ulf did not redeem himself in your favor. 

“More wine here!” He called out as if he were in a tavern at your mothers table. “Taming a dragon is thirsty work.” He said to the servant girl who served him his wine. As if to woo her, it made you roll your eyes in disgust, “Oh, and some more of these little birds.” He called out 

Your mother however wanted to turn the evening's conversation to a more suitable discussion. “A toast to my daughter, and her intended Lord Benjicot Blackwood. Benjicot who shall soon be a Velaryon, and my daughter who shall soon be a bride. You shall be married soon and I know you both will find great happiness and joy.” She said as she stood raising her cup to you and Ben. Ben felt honored, and undeserving of this. He raised his cup to you instead. You smiled and raised your cup. Your cousins and brother did the same, though Jace was still pouting.

“You’re taking ‘er name?” Ulfs voice rang out again. 

Ben turned his head down to the end of the table where Ulf sat. “It is a great honor for my children to inherit the name, Velaryon.” He practically hissed though he tried to maintain his manners at the queen’s table.

Though this tension would be cut as Rhaenrya began again, “A toast. To our new riders. The two of you, are not of noble birth, but you have done a thing never dreamed of before now. I have entrusted you with a power only few have known. And I charge you to take it up with fealty and respect. Serve me well and I will make you knights of the realm.” She said wanting to honor but warn them.

“Huh? What do you think of that? We’ll be knights… just like that.” Ulf said, lacking tact as usual. 

Hugh grimaced at Ulf’s words, then turned to the queen, “We will not fail you, my queen. What will you have us do?” He asked

“We must strike while we have the advantage.” She responded 

“What about Vhagar?” Hugh asked, clearly weary of going against such a large dragon.

Your mother shrugged, “She is fearsome but she is one dragon, and we have seven. She cannot take on us all.”

“I’ll take her by myself. Seasmoke’s a goer he is. We’re afraid of nothing.” Ulf said arrogantly, making you roll your eyes. 

“Ondoso zȳhon nyke emagon zirȳla zūgagon hen nykeēdar.” “By his stench I would have thought him fearful of water.” You said under your breath only for Baela to hear. From the little Velaryon you had taught Ben he picked up enough of what you said to have to hold in a laugh. 

“I said more of these little birds!” Ulf called out loudly commanding the servants again.

“A knight will conduct himself with grace at the Queen’s table.” Your mother attempted to subtly correct his behavior. 

“Best make me a knight then.” Ulf attempted to jest.

“You forget yourself, Ulf.” Jace threatened as he leaned into the table. 

“A sense of humor could do you all good.” Ulf said awkwardly as he drank from his cup.

Ben leaned closer to you, “I think you’re quite funny.” he whispered in your ear. 

꒰ ୨୧ ─ ・┈ ・ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ─ ・┈ ꒱꒱

After supper you walked with Ben through the halls of Dragonstone.

“That's the man who claimed my dead father’s dragon?” You huffed, “I had hoped for whore or a tavern wench.” You were not jesting, this was certainly the worst case scenario. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” Ben asked, also not jesting. 

You looked at him and smiled, “No.” You shook your head, “I’ll leave that to Vhagar.” 

“Vhagar…” Ben said, thinking of the large beast.

“Silverwing could kill Vhagar.” You said, getting lost again in the fantasy of your revenge.  “And I could kill Ameond.”

Ben took your wrist, making you stop on your tracks. 

He sighed, not wanting to ask what he was about to ask you, “You won’t fly to war will you?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, “You don’t believe I could do it?”

“If it were you and Ameond, I know you could. But when your dragons meet, it is not a matter of skill or strength.” He wanted to reason with you 

You shook your head, about to continue walking, “I just have to go for her neck. Like she did Arrax.” 

Ben took you by your arm and forced you to stop, “I’ll go to war. Kill every green I see. I’ll roar and rampage in the name of your revenge.” His eyes were wide, he was desperate, “I’ll bring Kings Landing to your feet.” He vowed it to you, “I’ll never command you to do anything, never forbid you to do anything. I’ll give you my own sword to ride your beast into battle. But, I keep thinking of it. Being in battle and looking up to seeing you overhead on your beast. I am overcome with pride and admiration but should the greens shoot you down, or Vhagar prevails- I have to beg you selfishly. You’re the only woman I want, the only one I’ve ever loved, the only one I’ll ever love. If you are harmed, or worse I will burn all of Westeros to its soil and me with it.” 

You wanted to laugh, not knowing how to respond. You shook your head again, “You’re not my slave-” 

“I am.” He got down on one knee, “Willingly- happily.” He said as he took your hand, “There’s not a single fucking thing I wouldn’t do at your command. Not a thing I wouldn’t give you.” His eyes were filled with emotion, “Not a thing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe, happy. If that means massacring Cristan Cole and his armies I will do it. If it means shooting down Vhagar I’ll do it. If it means watching you in battle, so be it. But I beg you- stay.”   

You looked down at him, “Ben.” you were at a loss for words.

“Tell me what you wish and I’ll not stop you. I’ll not speak another word of it.” He said assertively. 

“I can lean on you?” You asked gently and softly. 

“Completely.” He said without hesitation, assertively and without doubt.

You hesitated, but then nodded, “Alright.” You sniffed, holding in tears, “Alright.” You nodded, not wanting to 

“Av-ey jorraela.” He attempted to pronounce it though it was not perfect. 

You exhaled a sharp laugh, holding in your tears. You held his face in your hands, “Avy jorrāela.”

Note:

Thank you so much for your commission! This was so fun to write! If you want to commission anything check my pinned post :)

Tags:

@callsignwidow

[fluff-n-cookies]

Thinking about yandad Dabi and his child who's now around 9-11 years old. Your writing has absolutely captivated me <3

Dabi starts getting more possessive, more protective, and certainly more assertive. He's your dad, after all—you HAVE to listen to him, no? It's too dangerous to go outside without him keeping an eye on you, you're still so tiny and fragile. He'll be damned if his kid steps foot out of the apartment without his say so, no ifs or buts.

After a long day of setting people on fire and committing various crimes, Dabi just wants to scoop you up into a bone-crushing hug and plop down onto the couch to snuggle his baby, paying no mind to your complaints.

While he's soft and affectionate towards you, it's a completely different story when it comes to others. Dabi is ruthless and aggressive, destroying anyone and anything that may try to take you away–much less harm you. It doesn't matter how small, Dabi will turn it into ashes without remorse. If you somehow figure out about his actions and try to make a run for it? He'd be crushed, obviously–Dabi can't stand the thought of you fearing him. Rest assured, he'd track you down and bring you back home, suffering you in cuddles while scolding you. He's your dad–you need to listen to him.

(Btw sorry about how long this became didn't realize I was ranting)

omg hi???? thank you for gracing me with this masterpiece??? wtf???? (lovingly)

For those who don't know, this post is related to these

Pt 1, Pt 2

and this is all so fucking true. I plan on making a longer fic on this (sorry to say that I haven't drafted it yet, I'm working on overhaul posts)

but he's so paranoid, so utterly terrified 24/7, he dead bolts all the doors and windows at night and only lets you go outside between 11 AM and 5PM unless it's for school.

speaking of which, he hates them for giving his baby so much homework and taking away from their time together buuttt he genuinely believes you need to get your education, don't skip out on highschool like he did.

and he does this thing, this god awful thing, after dinner, after your daily shower, and after getting you all nice and snuggly for bed and into your cat pajamas. he'll do this thing where he'll hold you tight to his chest while he flicks through the news channel.

now normally this would be fine, perfectly fine, if I weren't for the fact he either goes to true crime channels where they display the horrific acts of villains (himself included) live. he tells you that the world is a horrifying place, that that's how he burned himself, how painful it was, the scorching flames. he doesn't mean to traumatize you, it's just to warn you!

either that, or he'll go to news channels covering endeavor's problems, scandals, recent missions, interviews. please don't ask who that strange man with eyes like yours is. he'll hold you tighter and say in the lightest voice possible. "he's a bad man, don't you dare go near him, he'll hurt you like he hurt me."

don't say anything else after that.

he's just tired, so tired, and you're there, right when he gets home after running "errands". you're his reminder of what he's working towards, this future with no heroes and no pain that he's trying to build. the revenge he longs for and the aftermath where you thrive. really, you're the reason he gets up in the morning these days, the reason he stopped smoking in the house, the reason why there's no more beer in the fridge, only tenderly made lunches that he makes every Sunday to prepare for the week.

you're like this stress ball, this hit of Serotonin and Dopamine and what not. every time you smile he can feel his heart clenching. when he looks at you, he sees the boy he once used to be, happy. you're so happy, so pure.

he refuses to let you go out much, his reasoning being that the world's a terrible place. when you ask what's his job, what he does at "work" every day, he only chuckles.

"Oh baby, I'm trying to makes this world a better place, my job is to try and stop all the bad things from happening. I'm a type of... Freedom fighter, really."

and he so, so, so so so so so so sweet to you. you have never known Dabi, ruthless arsonist and serial killer. you have never known Touya, a boy lost in his own insanity and deprivation of paternal love. both are vicious, people, downright insane. one's a criminal the other's incapable of ever recovering from his own madness and fury.

the only person you know is your Dad, Dad's a nice guy, he plays doll house and dress up with you and watches cartoons with you every morning before school. he lets you wear his jacket when you're cold and left yours at school in your cubby, and he takes you out for donuts or ice cream monthly. sure, he doesn't have money, he can't buy you that many toys and sometimes they turn the light off because he missed too many bills, but he loves you. that's all you need to know.

Dad is a kind person, he's not Dabi or Touya, he's definitely not a hero. he's your dad.

And Dad does the best job of gas-lighting you to hell and back. you want to go outside after 5 or before 11? welp, he's not coming with you, sorry honey, maybe tomorrow. what do you mean you'll go anyway? the boogeyman'll get you! (it's him, he's the boogeyman, he knows you won't last a second out in the real world with your loving father's help and he's going to exploit it the moment you start to show independence.)

but it's very unlikely that Dabi would ever even get the chance to do this when you're 9-11 years old, you know why? because you'll be in Endeavor's custody by then. I refuse to elaborate since then I'll be spoiling the plot of Part 3 and I don't want that.

P.S. you wanna be tagged?

[ineedjesusverymuch]

Diabolik lovers headcanons pt. 4

Hi! After that huge response my other post got, I decided to write more/be more active on here. I really enjoy writing my thoughts on just about anything regarding dl out and it makes me happy that so many people liked my post!

Although that big of a response was quite a shock. Seemed that I did not, in fact, yell into the void that time :).

Though I am not sure if that post did anything different, I'll continue posting on here no matter how big the response is. If I can make even one person happy with those posts, (including me) I'll keep on writing those silly headcanons of vampires that do not exist. :)

I am going to focus more on the mukamis and Yui in this post since the last one was almost only the Sakamakis.

⚠anything triggering will be marked like this: ❗trigger❗

⚠I am going to briefly discuss childhood trauma and depression.

As always, I'll try to stay at least a little bit true to the source material.

Asks are always appreciated!

This time, I rambled quite a bit about Azusa ':)

headcanons under the cut⬇

Firstly, Yui. Our dear heroine who deserves just about everything!

Really good at dancing those old, classical ballroom dances. She had a few lessons by Ayato (who spent the entire time giving his best not stomping on Yui's feet) and Reiji (whose lesson was the most horrifying experience she had ever had)

After those lessons, she refined her skills. Ayato is quite a good dancer, so she had someone to practice with.

Her best dances are waltz and rumba

Ayato is literally not physically able to stop watching her when dancing together. Never has he seen someone that beautiful (I stand by Ayato being totally besottet by Yui)

Her style is so coquetteish, old fairy tale princess, etherial soul, cottage core - genuinely dresses like a pinterest board

Really fcking pretty??? I don't get why the boys humble her all the time

Immune to pretty boys/play boys. She has seen it all.

really adores bunnies. Lionheads? She'd like a dozen of them.

Had at one point a guinea pig. It died and her father buried it and told her that a fairy had taken it to be her loyal companion. Yui believed it until she was like 16 years.

Her hair has those light curls and feels like the softest thing ever

The clasp in her hair is not the only flowery hair adornment she has, Yui loves to wear different clasps on special occasions

Definitely got gifted a hair pin with rose details from Subaru at one point

Best friends with Subaru. They like to spend quality time caring for his flowers and Yui is allowed to brush his hair on tare occasions.

Shu tried to teach her the violin once and she was horrible at it (but flute was her thing)

Has those shirts with horribly kitsch prints on them but no one says anything to her because she loves them so much

She has thought a lot about her faith since being with the Sakamakis. Read a lot about her god and the different religions.

Has though about studying theology and psychology in University

collects squishmallows

wears those light perfumes that smell like vanilla and flowers occasionally

Everyone turns their head when they first see Yui

Etherial beauty

Smells like vanilla. It's because she uses those body lotions and a lightly scented hair mist

Ayato goes mad at the smell

Ayato genuinely loves Yui. Just her, living her life. He adores her.

Also; Ayato is a himbo.

Dumb and dumber duo

Subaru teaches her material art as defense for anything coming at her

Natural at fighting

Decked Ayato in the face once as he materialized out of thin air behind her

Knocked him unconscious

Laito laughed for literal hours at the though of Ayato getting knocked out by Yui

Her dream is living in peace with eveyone she loves

Had an actual talk with Ayato at some point. They are a healthy couple now (No, I do not care about the canon. They're in love your highness)

Goes to therapy. She decided to after nightmares regarding her early days with the boys

Also, scared that Cordelia will come back at one point and take her body over completely

Yui is the nicest person ever

Will talk with you about everything you'd like

Gentle soul.

Gives great hugs?? Knows how to comfort someone who's feeling bad

She's not only good at baking but also at making those highly decorated cakes and cupcakes. Kanato begs her for themed cupcakes as soon as autumn starts and Halloween decorations appear

next, Ruki.

Eats way too much dark chocolate

We're talking about two entire bars minimum a day

Coffee junkie

Has a disproportionately large consume of anything caffeinated

Wears the same crusty, dry eyeliner since 1990

Refuses to buy a new one since "the old one still works" (it does not)

flirts with Reiji. Its so obvious that even Yuma has realized it

(Reiji is oblivious to it)

Academically speaking, really good at the natural sciences.

Fcking sucks at english though

Studies quite a lot, Ruki despises being on the same level as Reiji

Bad loser

Will be sulky after losing a game of Uno

Definitely cheats at card games

Really good at annoying Reiji. It's such a high level of annoying, he could give courses on the matter

Really good older brother

Checks on the other Mukami brothers when Ruki sees them struggeling with their pasts

Will check in every night if Azusa or Kou are plagued by nightmares

Has nightmares about the orphanage

❗sometimes wakes up scared that his brothers are actually dead and can only calm down after checking that each one is still alive

❗Definitely scared of anything happening to his brothers, he has panic attacks just thinking about that night

reads self help books

Has at least one "how to raise unruly children" book on his shelves

Culinary mastermind

But also makes the weirdest combinations of foods? Why would anyone like to taste jam with cucumbers and pepper????

now, Kou

Likes those really creepy stuffed toys

really good at drawing winged eyeliner

Has worn pink mascara and it looked so fcking good???

Hugest crush on Subaru

Flirts with him but the dear boy does not recognize romantic affection even when it slaps him in the face

Almost fainted riding the first time on Subaru's motorcycle

The scariest thing since really long

Wears really dangly, long earrings

With the weirdest motifs

Has one pair that has clams that can open. The pearls inside them glow in the dark.

his stomach is a bottomless pit. The first time he came over to spend a night at the Sakamaki's, Reiji was genuinely afraid that they had nit enough food to last to breakfast

Laito and he binged the Kardashians

Loves gossip. Knows everything about everyone

Makes rad nail art

Loves styling Azusa. Its their quality time, combined with trying those really spicy crisps

huge energy drink consumer

Helps him trough those sleepless nights were Kou stays up and chats with Laito the whole night through the phone

quite good at learning historical facts

Due to Kou's eye, he can see truths and lies in humans. But he is also really good at deciphering the human psyche.

Doesn't always use his eye. Sometimes, just Kou's knowledge of psychology is enough to recognize lies

There are some headcanons that Kou is italian. I agree with that. I can really image him enjoying the culture and the food. Also, I read a headcanon once that Kou's real name was Emilio. (If someone knows the name of the OP, please tell me)

Now, our vegetable freak: Yuma!

loves scrunchies and hair claw clips

Got one from Kanato once and uses them since

Also, I propose: Yuma with those hair claw clips in butterfly shape. Gifted by Kou as a joke

but now, he always wears them

Kanato braids his hair in really elaborate hair styles. Bridal style vibes. Kou thinks its the funniest thing ever

Shu loves toying with his hair when bored. It's just so soft and smells really good (Yuma uses Kou's shampoo on the regular. It causes quite a lot of fights)

took 1 (one) "Am I Gay" quiz. It came out a hundred percent positive. The next day, he confessed to Shu. They've been together ever since

Feeds the birds on the porch of their house every morning, together with Azusa

Actually really educated about current politics (at least the ones in Romania. But knows quite a lot about the USA and Japan, too)

Will start fights with Ruki about politics during dinner

If you ever want to hear angry romanian yelling, just go to the Mukami house during elections

Cares for every houseplant in their house

Brings at least two new plants per week at home. Ruki is on the brink of forbidding Yuma from accessing his monthly allowance

wears really shitty clothes. I'm talking thousand times stitched together trousers. They look like potatoes sacks but he refuses to get new ones

Has a toolbelt that looks atrocious

He wears it almost every day

The dirtiest shoes known to mankind

So dirty with soil and just about anything you can find in nature

Ruki gets daily aggressions about the spots on their carpet, since Yuma thinks changing shoes just for going inside is stupid

Wears the most amazing eyeliner but it is actually just old as fuck eyeshadow and mascara

He makes it look good

Has the longest lashes known to humankind

Brown skin due to being outside so much

Disneyprincess in secret

loves those huge dogs

now, Azusa!!

jesus that boy can be seductive

No, I wont elaborate

That was a lie, I will elaborate on anything with Azusa. He has the art of subtle flirting refined to mastery

Tried to flirt with Kanato. But Kanato thought he was being made fun of

Great at subtle makeup

Also; great dancer. Especially latin dances such as cha-cha-cha or salsa

He has those hips (breedable, as some folks would say)

Canonically doesn't like peppers

That doesn't apply to stuffed peppers with spices though

Great at remembering faces, not so great at remembering names

Can draw and paint and do art so good????

God of art

Not god of natural sciences though

Is doing alright at school but doesn't like the education system

Speaks not only romani and japanese but also a bit of English (and has the thickest british accent. No one knows where it is from and Azusa refuses to tell them that it is from watching Harry potter so often)

Colours his hair in a blue-black colour to give it more depth sometimes

Wears very pretty, light blue-ish glitter on the inner eye corner sometimes

So beautiful eyes??

Long, dark lashes

Likes to wear a bit of mascara

Naturally a defined jawline and straight nose

But a bit chubby cheeks

Is very pale but tans quite a but when longer outside in the summer. But dues to his sensitivity to heat, he'd rather stay inside

His eyes have a bit of an almond form, which gives them a sharp look, but still quite big

Azusa likes to wear too big clothes, especially hoodies and sweaters from Ruki and Yuma.

Also, cargo pants. The wide ones

Combat boots are a staple in his closet

Loves plateau boots and sneakers

Converse all stars are his to go shoes if no plateau boot is available

The shoes size him up quite a bit so the first time he met the Sakamakis, they all thought he was quite big. They all were surprised as they arrived at the Mukami home and Azusa just shrinked a few inches

Paints his fingernails in hope that he doesn't chew on them that much if they're pretty and colorful

Cuts his hair himself because he feels that his slow manner of speech annoys the staff in hair salons

But he likes the choppy style so its not as big of a problem for him

❗has a problem coping with what happened in his childhood. He canonically sh, but has frequent anxienty attacks too.

Due to that, he has a few weightened blankets and lots of pillows on his bed to simulate the feeling of getting hugged

Big hugger

His love language is physical touch

bug lover

Has a really cool sweater with the life cycle of a frog

That was it, actually. I rambled quite a bit about Azusa but I still hope you'll like it.

I hope I was able to make your day a bit better.

If you have any requests, just ask!

Thank you for reading all of that. I really appreciate you! I hope you'll have an amazing day/night!

[raysrays]

Professor! Kyojuro Rengoku X GN! Reader

TW: Student/Professor Relationship, suggestive themes

-Comment if there are any other Hashira you’d like me to write about!

History was a required course for your college major, and while it wasn't your favorite, it certainly wasn't the worst. The workload was manageable, and your peers were fine. However, what made the course truly interesting was the professor, Kyojuro Rengoku, a master of history.

He always seemed to be in a good mood, radiating positivity, complimented with an extremely loud demeanor 24/7. Despite this, his happy-go-lucky attitude was one of the reasons you bothered showing up to class.

More often than you'd like to admit, you found yourself captivated by him rather than the material he presented on the blackboard behind him. Something about his white button-up shirt fitting snugly against his tall, muscular frame was incredibly captivating. You couldn't help but feel a rush of heat whenever he glanced your way. Perhaps it was just your imagination, but it always seemed like his eyes lingered on you for just a moment longer than the others.

Surely not. It's most likely just your imagination. While you do enjoy school, you've always made an attempt not to stand out too much. So why would Professor Rengoku have any reason to look your way?

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Suddenly, you notice him standing in front of you, looking concerned. You snap out of your trance and glance around the classroom, seeing the empty desks. Class is already over?

You scramble to your feet, trying to put all your things back into your bag. "I'm so sorry, Professor. I must have dozed off. I'll get out of your way in just a moment." The embarrassment overwhelms you. There you were, just thinking about him, and now he's caught you daydreaming.

In the midst of your desperate attempt to pack your notebooks back into your bag, you notice him place his hand on top of yours, stopping you.

"Slow down, Y/n. Just calm down. There's no need to get all flustered. I was simply checking on you to make sure you were alright!" He smiles reassuringly.

Suddenly, you feel your heartbeat slowly calming down, and your body feels more relaxed. He wasn't angry or put off. That's good. You raise your head to meet his eyes, and to your surprise, you weren't met with his usual happy smile; this time, you see a genuine concerned look on his face. You were shocked.

"Is everything okay lately, Y/n? I've noticed you've been slightly lacking in class lately, but I didn't think it was necessary to say anything until now. Are you not feeling alright?" His voice was quieter, and his tone sincere. This wasn't the Professor Rengoku you were used to at all.

It was true you hadn't been at the top of your game lately when it came to school, but not anything a professor with hundreds of students would ever notice. Or so you thought.

"I really am sorry, Professor. I've just been a little not myself lately. I promise I'll get back on track soon."

His concerned look turns back into his usual kind smile.

“That’s great to hear! You are a wonderful student! I look forward to getting to see you everyday-“ he stops himself he looking a little nervous. He said more than he was supposed to.

You noticed his hand his still on top on yours. Did he mean it? He looked forward to seeing you? Why?

He must have also noticed because he pulled his hand back standing up straight. You noticed a small blush on his cheeks.

“I apologize, I shouldn’t have said something that could be misinterpreted as unprofessional. I just mean you are a great student and I really enjoy lecturing to people who appreciate it.” He laughed nervously trying to cover up what he had just said.

The realization of the situation finally hit you, did professor Rengoku really like you? I mean he can notice you aren’t feeling your best but he always asks the poor boy that sits up at the front of the class what his name is because he can’t remember.

“Is that really all it is?” You ask with a small grin on your face. Where did this confidence come from? You’ve always considered him to be attractive but you never really thought it would go anywhere.

He looks a little taken aback by the question his smile looking a little unsure now. He glances down at his wrist watch. It’s almost time for his next lecture.

“Y/n I’d hate to let one of my students fall behind perhaps you should stay after class next week and we should try and catch you up.” He looked back at you hopeful.

Staying after class with professor Rengoku… you’re really not even that far behind. But now you starting to wonder if you can get something more out of him than just notes.

“Yes I’ll stay after. I appreciate the offer.” Your voice sounds a little more flirty than before.

He takes notice of this and nods. “Great! I look forward to it.” You couldn’t help but notice to shift in his tone as well.

you guess you didn’t mind playing teachers pet. Now that you know it’s not just some hopeless fantasy.

Staying after class with professor Rengoku. This should be fun.

[diamonddaze01]

⋆｡°✩ n o t e : thank you to everyone who tagged me in this ( @sungbeam , @petrichor-han , @haologram)! took me forever to finally get around to it, but excited to share my wrapped for this year!

⋆｡°✩ on poetry and homecomings - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first ever fic! based on a quote by the fantastic palestinian poet mahmoud darwish. something about the words, "If I ever see a flaw of yours, I'd say my eyes are the flawed ones" made something in my heart twinge in the most beautiful way. a purely self indulgent fic i wrote after an exhausting work week, and suddenly, here we are, 3 months later.

⋆｡°✩ plan b-day - hong jisoo

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my last fic of 2024! a lil drabble for the loveliest boy. no real notes on this, other than i am sure that murphy's law somehow targets me 50000x more than the average human being. again, purely self-indulgent, but also a wonderful way to close out the year.

⋆｡°✩ baby, darling, light of my entire life - choi seungcheol

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : the idea for this came to me after a crazy night out. though i myself have not gotten to this level of drunk yet, i definitely would scream about how pretty choi seungcheol is any day, any time. i was actually shocked when this blew up - it wasn't my favorite piece i'd written at the time, and i woke up one morning and it had skyrocketed from maybe 100 notes to upwards of 600 in one night. weirdly, i think this was maybe the third thing i had ever posted to this blog and it made me so happy that people actually enjoyed my writing. bdlomel, ily <3

⋆｡°✩ full throttle part i | full throttle part ii - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : oh, full throttle, what to say about you (i am combining both parts into one fic - the only reason there are two parts is bc tumblr is a bitch about formatting). there are few things that exhausted me, exhilerated me, enraged me, and made me feel as proud as i do looking at this finished fic. three weeks of non-stop writing every day after work, jotting down notes in the cleanroom and during lunch breaks, and storyboarding when i should have been sleeping culminated in most possibly the pièce de résistance of my year. i had so many people who cheered me on as i wrote this fic, battled through witty banter (that i myself could never say irl) and fiery headlines, but none cheered as loudly as @haologram and @ylangelegy. alta and kae were genuinely the wind beneath my wings as i wrote this, and reading their comments in the doc was what kept me going. in the end, i'm genuinely so happy with how full throttle turned out, and seeing the reactions i'm getting from it make me feel so fulfilled.

⋆｡°✩ the somerset affair - lee seokmin

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first forray into longer fic writing (and i'm still battling my way through it, but we don't talk about that). if anyone knows me, they know how much of a Bridgerton fan i am - i quote anthony's speech on the daily, and penelope/eloise are some of my fav romcom heroines ever written (until they both get married, but again, we don't talk about that). i felt like writing this fic was my way to pay homage to this fictional world i adore so much. i have a love/hate relationship with the actual tone of the series - its so hard to maintain the regency tone and also write in a way that's true to my own voice, but at the end of the day it's a challenge i relish. i'm so excited to finish this series this coming year!

⋆｡°✩ 40 fics posted - check them all out in my masterlist!

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : to be fair, a lot of these are drabbles i did for my 101 drabble prompt game, but fuck it we ball. maybe i'm just insane.

⋆｡°✩ ~133,470 words written

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : again, i think i might be a bit insane. did a sacrifice sleep to write? yes. did i storyboard at work? also yes. but then again, it's been an interesting year to say the least, and writing was a really good way to blow off steam after a stressful day at work.

⋆｡°✩ some of my fav fics i read this year - please read the warnings on each fic and do not interact with smut if you're a minor! this is in no particular order:

⋆｡°✩ unforgiven [boo seungkwan] - @haologram ⋆｡°✩ catch you when i can [smau] [chwe hansol] - @xinganhao ⋆｡°✩ the first snow [hong jisoo] - @junkissed ⋆｡°✩ what are the vibes? [choi seungcheol] - @daechwitatamic ⋆｡°✩ red card [kim mingyu] - @highvern ⋆｡°✩ an ode to hands and voice [boo seungkwan] - @ddeonghwa-s ⋆｡°✩ take my word for it [yoon jeonghan] - @ylangelegy ⋆｡°✩ prey [choi seungcheol] - @pochaccoups ⋆｡°✩ sit down [kim mingyu] - @gyuswhore ⋆｡°✩ ave, general [lee jihoon] - @amourcheol

these are just a few of my fav fics i've read, but if you want to see all my recommendations - i suggest checking out @diamond-reads !

⋆｡°✩ goals for 2025

⋆｡°✩ on diamonddaze01: i have a lot of collabs coming up in 2025! i hope that i can meet all those deadlines and write things i'm proud of. i've also learned that writing longer fics like full throttle or somerset affair make me feel more fulfilled as a writer, so expect a lot more of them as i further explore my writing style and characterization. i also want to go back to some of my older wips that i abandoned and reopen them, see where i can go with a fresh mindset. ⋆｡°✩ personal goals: i have a lot, but to name a few: read more, laugh more, love more. i also want to focus on establishing a better work/life balance - i know already that the coming months are going to suck at work, but i no longer want to drag the weight of corporate life home with me. work is work, and that's where it will stay. i want to prioritize my mental and physical well-being over all else, and that starts with reprioritizing things like work, my social life, and writing.

⋆｡°✩ final thoughts

⋆｡°✩ i started writing on tumblr because i was stressed from work and felt like i didn't have a community, especially at a new job and a new city. what started as some stress relief turned into a community of its own. i'm eternally grateful that i was able to meet some wonderful people this year that i truly feel a sense of belonging with. to everyone in the networks i'm in, to anyone that reads my work, to all the lovely people i've met: thank you, and i love you.

⋆｡°✩ if you've made it this far, thanks for reading, and thank you for all your support. i love you all endlessly. it's time to sign off for 2024.

with love as vast as the stars themselves, tara <3

⋆｡°✩ tagging (but no pressure): @tusswrites, @chanranghaeys, @bitchlessdino, @ddeonghwa-s , @c-oupsie, @lovetaroandtaemin, and anyone else who would like to do this!

[glamourizz]

to my first... || l.mk

themes: friends, unrequited love, angst

warnings: gets sad, angsty, mentions of slight bullying

word count: 4.9k

based on a true story....

dedicated to the boy i should've told "I love you" to when I had the chance. my first love.

✒️✒️✒️

August 2008.

The warm summer air was no longer as prominent as it was a few weeks back. The chill in the air hit your tanned cheeks as you chattered away with the girl sitting next to you. It wasn't a big surprise to anyone seeing you beaming with happiness on the first day of school in contrast to the gloomy faces around you, bummed about the end of their summer holidays.

"Honestly, I am a little upset none of my friends are in the same class as me but hey! At least we have each other right." You smiled at the girl in front of you who smiled right back at you.

The teacher striding in cut your conversation short. A young boy trailed behind her looking confused and out of place.

"Good morning, children!" The teacher beamed up at everyone. "We have a new addition to our class this year. Introduce yourself!"

The boy looked around at us before gulping and muttering, "Hi, I'm Mark Lee. I used to study at Clover Elementary School and I'm 9 years old."

The teacher patted him on the back and guided him to his seat, two benches away from yours.

"Why did you switch schools?" One of your classmates asked echoing everyone's thoughts.

"My old school started an hour earlier than here." He said sheepishly making everyone laugh out loud.

You stared at the boy, a little shorter than you.

He was interesting.

December 2008.

As Christmas was right around the corner, the school and all its inhabitants were shivering with excitement-more with the prospect of holidays than with the festival itself but no one would admit it- and that meant classroom activities.

This year the students were tasked with making paper wreaths to decorate their lockers with. You and your mum spent the day before searching the web for all kinds of creative wreaths you could make and ended up deciding on an origami one.

The class was all busy decorating their own wreaths, giggling, and chattering away with their friends nearby.

"Hey, could you lend me a pair of scissors I forgot mine at home?" Mark asked the boy sitting next to him.

"Sorry, I don't have one." The boy said clearly hiding the scissor in his pocket. "Maybe Y/N can help you?"

Mark turns towards you looking expectantly.

"Sure", you shrug handing over your scissor.

He uses it before giving it back muttering a small thanks

A few minutes later he asks for your glue and a few minutes later asks for your scissors again.

"Did you even come prepared?" You ask him joking.

"I'll be honest. I completely forgot this was today." He whispered making you giggle.

"Oh wow! Your cheeks get really chubby when you smile." He tells you as you turn beet red.

The boy sitting between the two of you snickers. "Yeah, you should lose weight, Y/N."

Mark frowns lightly. "It's cute though," he mumbles under his breath to himself.

But you heard him and you couldn't help but smile at him.

He's nice.

September 2009.

Mark was sitting right behind you this year and you were relieved you had someone in your class this year that you know. You did not want to go through finding a new friend to hang out with again this year.

The two of you would get along well. Top of the class always competing over who would get a higher grade.

"You are a VIP," Mark tells you one day with a mischievous smile.

"What does VIP mean?" You ask genuinely confused.

"Very Idiotic Person." He snickered at you as your face contorts into an offended look.

You raise your hand calling for the teacher. "He is calling me a VIP," you whine when the teacher comes over to your seat.

"Isn't that a good thing?" She asks you looking over at Mark who had his "good boy" smile on.

"He says it means a Very Idiotic Person," you exclaim making the teacher let out a quiet laugh before half-heartedly scolding Mark who was still smiling ear to ear.

"Why are you so mean to me?" You ask him frowning.

"It's fun teasing you. You get cute." He explains leaving you with a small pout on your face as he lets out an endeared laugh.

You couldn't help but laugh along with him.

He was funny, sometimes.

January 2010.

Everyone was half asleep on the first day after Christmas break. Who in the right mind thought it was completely reasonable to wake up children early in the morning and put them all together expecting them to be productive?

"I have decided on the class president and the vice president for this semester," the teacher announced making all the students perk up. "Congratulations Y/N for becoming the class president and Mark for becoming the vice president. Come here and collect your badges."

You let out the brightest smile and walk over to the teacher to collect your badge smirking at Mark as you pass him.

A silent boast of achievement. You were the President and he was the vice president. You had power over him. He rolled his eyes at you. It was a healthy competition. It always had been.

The teacher soon left the class and you were in charge of maintaining discipline in class. As you stood up from your seat a paper plane went swooshing right in front of your eyes. You looked around trying to figure out who did it. And you were met with Mark looking at you with guilty eyes.

"You can't do that. Flying paper Planes is against the class rules. You are the Vice President!" You scold him frowning.

"Please. You are upset because you don't know how to make a paper plane." He smirks at you.

"So what?" You glower at him.

"Sit down. I'll teach you." He says before moving over to your seat crouching down and teaching you how to fold the paper.

You turn over to him to remind him they had a class to monitor but all you saw was his focused side profile and in that moment all words left your mouth flying away along with the paper planes your classmates threw around.

He was really handsome.

February 2011.

A year older. In the same class again. You had joked with Mark about how he was following you around like a duckling. He had laughed before jokingly calling himself your personal stalker leaving you giggling.

It was also the year he got a little more popular. You were friends but you knew he was good-looking. A little too good-looking if you were being honest with yourself. He got himself, new friends, and so did you.

It wasn't a big deal. You were never in the same friend circle. You had always had your own friend groups but his new friends did hurt you a bit.

They were the same ones who would pass comments whenever you were around.

"God, I really don't want to sit next to her." Your seatmate complains to her friend as you sit right beside her.

"Can't you go and tell the teacher you want to sit somewhere else?" Her best friend tells you a little annoyance in her tone.

"I don't know if I can do that." You respond back with a tight smile making the two girls sigh rolling their eyes at you before going back to their conversation.

You looked over to Mark who had just entered the class and was now making conversation with the girl and her best friend. He saw you looks at you and gives you a light nod. You smile back at him.

He was a little aloof.

March 2011.

You were hanging out by the lockers with your girlfriends during the break. They were all gushing about the boy band named One Direction or whatever.

You were just about to joke about them being boy crazy and how you didn't get the hype around the group but before you could utter a word, Mark walked in with his friends smiling at you and your friends.

"Hey, Mark. You said you liked One Direction, right?" One of your friends asked him.

"Oh, yeah. I love 'What makes you beautiful" He said.

"Oh my god, really? Me, too." You squeal not knowing what possessed you to lie out of nowhere. You hadn't even heard their music before!

"They are so good, right!" He exclaims with the biggest smile on his face making your heart beat so fast all you could do was nod your head. You knew you stutter like an idiot if you said a word.

That night you spent the night under the covers with your earphones in your ears listening to every song One Direction had released on repeat, occasionally popping out of the covers to see if your mom walked in.

He had good taste.

May 2011.

As the academic year was coming to an end, the teacher's kept piling on homework, assignments, and projects.

You were tasked with making a science project on the ill effects of pollution. You were in the group with the smartest girl in class, Mark, and a few other classmates. The leader being the smart girl was assigned with planning out the project.

And that was when you realized academically gifted did not equal having common sense. The teachers loved her draft and encouraged you all to work on it but you found it a bit impractical.

As days passed on, Mark, too, realized how incredibly difficult it was to bring her draft to life. All the while, the rest of your teammates conveniently gave up on the project whilst your dear leader refused to meet up outside of school.

Deciding to take matters into your own hands, you went up to Mark ignoring his friends who were hooting at the two of you as you ask him to come over to your place so you could do the project yourself.

You met up with him the next day an hour after school ended. Your mum, a craft enthusiast, helping you throughout.

"Mark, how much did you score in Math?" She asked him.

"Oh, 19/20" he answered proudly.

"And how much did you score?" Your mum asks you.

"16," you mumble a little upset.

Your mum just hums and goes back to instructing the two of you.

An hour. later you realize you might need some more stationary. Mark and you go to a nearby store to buy more paper and some paints.

"16 is not a bad score, you know?" he says quietly picking up two bottles of paint trying to make out the difference.

"Says you. You scored a 19." You mutter.

"So what?" He looks into your eyes dropping both bottles of paint in a basket. "It's just a practice test. It won't count in the future."

"What do you wanna be when you grow up?" You ask him as the two of you walk towards the billing counter.

"I wanna be a scientist. Do something to help people." He says as the two of you pay for the supplies before leaving the store.

"What about you?" He looks at you and you could swear you saw sparkles in his eyes.

"I want to be a doctor." You state with confidence. "The one that treats mentally sick."

"A Psychiatrist?" He asks making you nod. "They don't make much money though."

"So what?" You mimic the words he had said earlier making him smile.

That night as your mum put you to bed, she smiled at you before leaving the room and asked, "Is there anyone from school that you like?"

You laughed at her trying to rid your brain of all the thoughts of Mark that popped up.

He was the one you liked.

June 2011.

The academic year was ending in a week and that meant class trips. It was the one event of the year all students waited for.

Ever since you had the realization that you might like Mark, your brain had been a big big mess. It was only your luck that with finals coming up the interactions between the two of you had come to the bare minimum and you were grateful. Your mind was a mess every time he was around you.

You wanted to confide in someone but you didn't know to who you could tell this. In the end, you decided, you were going to confess.

He was your friend the worse that could happen was he'd want to be only friends. You'd deal with it when the time comes.

It was the day of the trip. Everyone was vibrating with excitement. For once your bags were laden with food and games instead of textbooks.

"I heard Mark is going to confess to Pearl today. He said he was going to ask her to go on the Ferris wheel with her and then he'd ask her out. He even got her a bar of expensive chocolate." A friend of yours turned around to tell you and your seatmate.

Your seatmate and you exchanged a look before she shrugged and turned around.

You'd be lying if you weren't a little hurt.

You knew Pearl. She was your friend. Not the closest but you were friends nonetheless. And you could see why Mark liked her, she was pretty. Albeit not the prettiest girl in class but definitely way prettier than you.

How stupid of you to believe you had a chance!

Yet, a small part of your heart hoped all of this was just a rumor.

But it wasn't. You knew that as you saw Pearl walk onto the bus after your trip with a shy smile on her face and a large bar of chocolate in her hand as her friends giggle and Mark's friends pat his back while he blushes.

You cried so hard that night. You knew you were being irrational.

He was so inconsiderate.

January 2012.

You had no idea how the rumor started about you having a crush on Sam, one of your classmates, but it was getting out of hand.

"Okay, I dare you to go outside the class and jiggle your boobs." The girl sitting in front of you said making you laugh awkwardly.

"Hell no, I'm not doing that." You say chuckling as your eyes dart to the ground.

"Yeah, your tummy will be the one jiggling anyway," she said poking your stomach as she and her friend start laughing mad high fiving each other.

You unknowingly tuck in your stomach and leaned forward to try and hide your abdomen.

"Okay, go tell Sam that you love him." She orders you.

You knew this was better than doing whatever embarrassing ideas they had in their brains.

You slowly walk up to Sam and it was only when you were right beside him that you realise all of his friends were there.

'This is so embarrassing,' you think. Confessing to a guy you don't even like just because you are too cowardly to tell people it isn't Sam you like but Mark.

"I….I..um-" You try to spit out.

"What?" He asks you looking between you and his friends.

"I like you." You said before dashing out of the classroom before anyone could process what had just happened.

When you came back a few minutes later, the whole class was hooting at the two of you.

"You shouldn't have said anything. If it was a dare, you could've skipped it. Why do you have to embarrass us both?" Sam whispered harshly looking at you with disgust as you walk past him.

You didn't like him but it still stung.

That day as you were walking out of the school campus Mark rushed over to you.

"Did you really confess to Sam?" He asked amused.

"Go away!" You mutter at him before leaving.

"Aww look at you having a crush on Sam. That's cute." He snickered before walking over to his friends including Sam.

He was so gullible.

November 2012.

The new academic year saw a big hit in your social life after Confessiongate with Sam.

The only thing you looked forward to was having Mark in your class again and if you played your cards right. Everything would go back to how it was before. The way it was intended to be.

Mark and you sharing unfunny jokes and competing over who scored higher on the latest class test.

Everything would go back to normal. Yall would have your silly yet deep conversations and you would no longer freeze if anyone in the 10 mile radius mentions his name.

The only downside? You had severely underestimated the change in the dynamics of your friendship.

Mark was no longer a 10 year old geek calling you some stupid non offensive insult. He was a teenage boy. And like all teenage boys, he did teenage boy things.

Like thinking and talking about girls all day long. Spending more time looking and grasping at potential date opportunities then spending time doing his homework.

The both of you were on opposite sides of the school hierarchy. He had his popular friends and you were a known loser. He only socialized with those that would rather be caught dead then fraternizing with your type.

The not so attractive slightly nerdy students.

But you did have a minor glow up. Maybe now the two of you could go back to being friends. You didn't expect him to like you back.

All you wanted now was him to have a normal conversation that was not "Excuse me".

You had hoped he wouldn't notice his new found popularity and pretend you never existed but he did much to your dismay.

"Aww, I scored better than you. Look!" You had boasted with a smile handing him the paper. He had only scored a point less than you but that's how things had always been. Reading each other over who did better.

"Whatever. Why do you care so much?" He sneered in annoyance before walking off.

The smile on your face dropped instantly. You knew it was stupid to hope for things to go back to the way it was but you hadn't expected such a cold response.

He had changed.

January 2013.

It was just another day. You were having a mindless chat with your friend. Being 13 year old girls, the conversation automatically ended up about boys and crushes.

"You really had a crush on Sam? He is as dumb as a bolt!" Your friend exclaimed.

You contemplated whether or not to come clean to her. You had grown quite close to her and considered her one of your more trustworthy friends.

"I never liked him. It was just a rumor." You clarified.

"Then why did you confess to him?" She asked confused.

'Whats the worse that could happen?' you thought and decided to tell her.

"I liked someone else but I was scared to tell anyone. I just kept quiet and let people assume whatever." You whispered.

"Oh my god who was it?" She asked her curiosity now through the roof.

"I'll tell you if you tell me who you have a crush on now." You struck a deal.

"Fine. He's in our class right now. He is smart. He is good-looking. And he wears the cutest glasses." She said flustered at the thought of her crush.

The only boy you knew in class that was good looking and smart was Mark. Not that you had even laid your eyes on other boys.

"Mark?" You asked as a joke secretly hoping she said no.

"Yeah." She whispered back. "Now tell me who did you actually like?"

You not your lip. "Mark."

The both of you sat in silence for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.

What a coincidence!

A few days passed and the situation that seemed funny earlier did not evoke the same feelings as you saw your friend get close to him.

Mark and you drifted apart and he became closer to your friend.

You went from having little conversation to practically being non existent to him.

It filled you with envy. Why did he give every girl a shot at the love story you so wished to have with him? Every girl except you?

He was a real heartbreaker.

February 2014.

You were finally secure in your life. You had a support system. Friends who understood you.

You opened up to them about Mark and they understood. You finally felt at peace.

You had left the chapter of his behind you. That was until Mark got himself a new girlfriend.

You never understood how they met. They were polar opposites.

Mark was academically driven. She was failing a vast majority of her classes.

Mark didn't have a single artistic bone in his body. She was an aspiring actor.

You wished you could hate her. But every single negative thought that passed your mind just seemed like envy and insecurity.

She was pretty in a conventional yet underrated way. She was so petite. She didn't talk too loud or eat like a man or laugh with her mouth open.

She was elegant and graceful and everything you were not. It was a cold and unfriendly reminder that you were not and never will be Mark's type.

He was unreachable.

October 2014.

Mark and his girlfriend were going on strong. They were a power couple in school.

And it took every single ounce of strength and sanity in you to not have a mental breakdown every time you saw the two of them together.

They were such an unlikely pair yet it made so much sense.

They made so much sense.

Seeing them and knowing you could never have something as romantic and pure as them.

She and Mark had been caught kissing in an empty classroom.

When you first heard about it, you refused to believe it. You were so incredibly jealous of her. She was living your dream.

But you couldn't help but feel bad for her. The entire ordeal ended up with her being slutshamed by classmates and teachers alike.

You felt really bad. Despite wanting to hate her you couldn't bring yourself to do so. The students would pass comments everytime she was around. The teachers were no different.

"Maybe if you focussed less on finding abandoned places to kiss boys and more in class maybe you would score more." A teacher had said in class.

"Ma'am I will respectfully ask you to apologize to her. We agree what we did was wrong. But there is no need to shame her in front of class." Mark had stood up and spoken loudly.

The entire room shut up instantly. No one had expected him to do that. Standing up for his girlfriend in a very Asian school. The teacher and he went back and forth until the teacher fed up left the class.

You always respected him. But the level of respect you had for him after seeing what he did for his girlfriend transcended any emotion you were feeling in the moment.

And it only made you fall for him more.

He was a good boyfriend.

June 2015.

Academic stress had hit an all time high. You had no time to ponder over what Mark was doing. All his friends were transferring to new schools. And you assumed he would do the same.

You were shocked to walk in class on the first day and sitting on the first seat talking to another boy excitedly.

You cover your face and speed to the back of the class.

He was in everyone of your classes. The fact made you more anxious than giddy like it did a few years ago.

The stress about your future added with the stress of your forever crush being in your presence all day long was paralyzing.

A small part of you wished he would turn around and greet you but he looked straight ahead the whole day.

He would always around.

March 2017.

The last two years of school breezed past in a snap. You had alternated between studying for medschool and yearning for Mark.

Meanwhile he kept to himself. The only time he ever approached you was when he wanted help with projects or assignments.

You knew it was wrong to help him. Especially when it was so obvious that he was taking advantage of you but you couldn't help it.

You still wanted him as much as you did 8 years ago. He will always be your dream man. You hoped that maybe helping him would make him look at you in a new light but all that was merely wishful thinking.

"I wanna be a surgeon," he told me as you hunched over the desk pretending to read our biology textbook.

"Really? I wanna be a doctor." You told him.

"Still? Psychiatrist right?" He asked.

"You remember?" You ask him surprised.

"Of course" He smiled at you.

And just like that all the emotions that you had fought and kept at bay came back all at once.

He was a real charmer.

May 2017.

It was the last day of school. You knew you would never see Mark again.

Except of school reunions maybe but who is to say either of you would even attend.

You had made up your mind. You would confess to him. You weren't gonna see him again anyways.

Although you do admit you had spent countless hours fantasizing what it would be like if you ended up going to the same college. Would he finally give you a chance? Would he go and date another perfect girl?

But the chances were slim.

The last bell had rang and students poured out of their classes.

You approached him with a nervous demeanor.

"Hey, Mark. Can we talk?" You asked him.

"Yeah. What's up?" He asked.

You open your mouth to profess your undying love for him but before you could utter a single world you hear your teacher calling for the both of you.

"You both did so well in your finals. Y/N, I need to talk to you about some stuff. Can you stay back?" She looked at you.

"Yes, of course." You answer looking at Mark.

"You can leave now, Mark." She told him and dragged you away.

You wanted to run back and tell him "I love you. I've loved you since we were 10." But you just let yourself be dragged away by your teacher.

Maybe it was a sign from the universe.

He was never yours.

July 2017.

It was graduation.

You didn't think Mark would be here. You heard from a mutual friend that he got into his dream college.

You were happy for him really.

But standing at the gates of your school you saw him again. Wearing the same goofy smile as always surrounded by people.

You walk upto him. "Hey, guys. Finally done with this hellhole."

They all laugh as a wave of nostalgia hits them. Reminiscing the time spent.

"I heard you got into your dream college. Congratulations!" I wish Mark.

"Yeah. What about you?" He asked seeming genuinely curious.

"I'm gonna take a year off for mental health. I don't know if I wanna pursue medicine anymore. I don't have the brains for it." You laugh.

"Are you kidding? You're like the smartest person I know! Don't give up. For my sake?" He said in a pleading voice.

"For your sake? And who are you?" You laugh at him.

"Only like your bestest friend ever, Miss. VIP." He said his eyes crinkling as his smile got bigger.

"You remember that? Oh my god we were so lame." You lean into him as he lets out a laugh agreeing you.

And just like that the two of you were 10 again. And you fell in love with him and everything he did for a millionth time.

"You said we needed to talk that day. What was it about?" He asked out of nowhere.

You were tempted to tell him everything.

How you've been in love with him for ages.

How he made you feel. Makes you feel.

A thousand words on the tip of your tongue. You looked deep in his eye hoping to see a fraction of the things you felt for him. But all you could see was the reflection of a young girl hopelessly in love with a boy who would never see her the same way.

"Nothing. Just wanted to ask about where you were applying for college." You lied effortlessly.

The two of you stood together as the ceremony started.

He was just a fantasy.

August 2018.

Its been a year since you saw Mark.

He got busy with college and you understood.

Its not like you were that close anyways.

You would occasionally check his Instagram page. He had a new girlfriend you saw. It didn't fill you with envy. You were happy for him. It was a bittersweet happiness.

You had often wondered whether you had truly loved him.

Did you love Mark Lee as a person or the person you had made him up to be in your head? Was he really your soulmate or just a chapter in your book that you read to your children years from now?

Was it really love? Or was it childhood infatuation?

"Heard you got into medschool. Congratulations future Dr. Y/N!" He texted.

And just like that you fell for him again.

Afterall, he was your first love.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"So yeah, that's my little story about Julie" Sirius finished with a sigh "I've considered many girls pretty before. But she was my first love"

Remus smiled to the ceiling. It was weird hearing about Sirius’s ex. There was some sort of jealousy inside his chest because Remus wished he could provoke all on that on Sirius. But he was also happy to be this close to Sirius and hear about his life, his feelings.

There was some sort of cuteness about Younger Sirius flirting with embarrassment and living first experiences in romance. Nobody knew this side of him. He had built a stupid reputation for himself of being a womanizer. Although Remus knew Sirius was different, in the bottom he was a romantic.

"What about you, Moony?" Sirius asked next, Remus felt his eyes on him. But he still stared at the ceiling of their dorm. "Who was your first love?"

Remus bit his lip to avoid laughing. If only Sirius knew what was inside his mind. Remus could tell Sirius about Grant and his crush on him. How Remus had tried to impress him. How he tried to appear older around him. How when he teased him, Remus blushed. How he learned many things about life because of him.

But it wouldn't be the truth. Because Grant wasn't Remus's first love. There had been someone else who had made his heart beat fast. Someone else who's name he had written inside hearts and thought while listening to love songs. Someone else that Remus had dreamed of marrying. The most beautiful boy he had ever met. With gorgeous gray eyes and perfect black hair. With the most gorgeous bright smile. A genuine star on Earth.

Remus could lie and maybe hope that Sirius would get jealous. But Sirius had been so honest, that Remus wanted to be the same. They were best friends after all. They trusted each other.

"It was you" Remus answered, eyes still looking up. Not daring to look at the boy lying next to him.

Remus heard Sirius shifting his position, probably turning to see him.

"What?" there was amusement in the tone of his voice.

Remus smiled to himself, he was already blushing.

"Back when we were kids" he laughed "I thought you knew, I was pretty obvious"

Sirius giggled "Oh Moony... I didn't know"

"Of course you didn't" he replied "You were allergic to love back then, always saying that you would never have a girlfriend and will stay single for life"

Sirius snorted "I was only ten!"

"I was ten as well and still was an idiot in love"

Sirius was silent after that, so when Remus turned to look, he was surprised Sirius had flustered cheeks. He was adoringly beautiful.

"Don't worry, I am way over you..."

"But why? I am adorable still" Sirius said in a teasing way, and he began tickling him on the ribs. Remus let out soft giggles "Why wouldn't you be into me still, eh?"

Remus's crush was even more intense now. But Sirius didn't have to know that.

"You are less adorable and more of a twat as time passes, Sirius" Remus managed to say between giggles.

"You tosser!!" Sirius exclaimed as he continued to tickle him.

"Plus, you're straight and I am a boy now, so there's no chance between us"

Remus said it as a joke even though it was true and it hurt.

Sirius seemed a bit guilty. Remus didn't want to think about it much. He let his friend look at him while he wandered through his thoughts. Remus gave him a smile to let him know it was okay.

He didn't want to ruin their friendship because of this.

"It is an honor to be your first love, Moony" Sirius finally said and gave him a kiss on the cheek, a gesture that made his heart immediately jump inside his chest.

Remus smiled. If only Sirius knew he wasn't only his first love, but maybe the love of his life.

[charmwasjess]

I really am crazy busy, both at work and life, and of course, finishing RH, but Vampire Dooku Turns Sifo-Dyas AU won't leave me alone, so you get a little piece of the morning after Sifo-Dyas returns from his Oba Diah moon:

Cut to be safe, cause discussion of sex

“So, who even was this?” Sifo-Dyas tilted the cup of blood accusingly in Dooku's direction, but he didn’t let go of it, either. “Some poor soul from Serenno? Someone’s parent, or treasured child? Disappeared up into the big castle like so many others, but who would dare question the noble Count Serenno?”

He was not sure who he was trying to shame more: Dooku, who did not seem to care, or himself, who cared a great deal more than he could currently handle. “I wonder what color her eyes were, or what she dreamed of being in life before you–”

“Not to interrupt your maudlin fantasy,” Dooku looked almost as tired as he felt, “but I do not go about exsanguinating peasant girls in my own kingdom, Sifo-Dyas. For one, that would take a tremendous deal of time.” 

“So difficult to fit more murder into your busy schedule? I ought to be grateful you spared the time for my own!” 

“In fact, hunting and killing live beings is rather impractical. Messy, and, if we must discuss your own death, that is a fine example of the kind of loose ends left by such practices.”

Sifo-Dyas glared at him, even as he grudgingly sipped the blood. It immediately soothed the static throb in his temple, but he did not enjoy being referred to as a “loose end.”

Oh, of course Dooku wasn’t done. “Most of what I consume is sourced from medical blood banks. Supplying my own would be a logistical nightmare.” Dooku paused wryly here, tolerant amusement curling his lip. “And… the effect of drinking live blood can cause quite an ardent physical response in the body, as you may have noticed last night. To both of our enjoyment, I believe. But it would be impractical at other times.”

Ah, that was right. Last night, he’d ended up in Dooku’s stupid bed again. Their first time, mere days ago, Dooku had shamelessly used the opportunity to turn him into an undead monster. And yet, knowing that, fully aware of that, Sifo-Dyas had still gone back for seconds.

Honestly, Sifo, where is your damned common sense? He was a Jedi Master and former member of the High Council. Why did Dooku still possess the ability to make him behave like a teenage boy navigating his first crush? And why, by the black stars, why, why did his own internal voice of admonishment still sound like Lene? 

“When the time is right for your first true hunt, a ceremonial rite of passage for our kind, I’ll arrange–”

“No thank you,” he cut him off tersely, “I’ll eat rabbits.”

“Rabbits?”

“They have rabbits on Serenno, do they not?”

Dooku paused. He actually looked like he did not know and was genuinely curious.

“How did I not know about this curse of yours, anyway?” Sifo-Dyas blurted out before Dooku could tell him about any stupid theoretical Serennian rabbits. “All those years ago, when we were everything to each other.”

Dooku’s quick glance up might have been wounded. Are we not still everything to each other?

Sifo-Dyas ignored that, still feeling a little too sore and betrayed for such sentimentality. “You must have taken such pains to keep it from me.”

“No more than any other urges I hid from you.”

“Urges?” Sifo-Dyas repeated, incredulous. “Other urges such as biting me in the neck until dead?!” 

“The ritual to make you was more complicated than that.”

“Oh, right, yes, the complicated ritual. For the vampirism to properly stick, you must first be fucking me and whispering romantic lies in my ear!”

 “Sifo…” Now Dooku decidedly looked pained. “I had my reasons for–” 

“Mortis gods, do you ever shut up?” 

“–I thought it would be more comfortable for you. Endorphins from intercourse dampen any pain associated with the bite. And, if I may consider my own feelings in this, your obvious happiness and pleasure made the experience …” 

“It made me taste better?!” Sifo-Dyas shoved up from the bed. He’d had enough of breakfast with Dooku. 

[petersasteria]

because i liked a boy - T.C.

Pairing: T.C. x SabrinaCarpenter!Reader Words: 1,224 Warning/s: curse words, kylie jenner being mean

You knew you weren’t at fault. You knew that no one was. You also knew that this whole situation was blown way out of proportion. According to the media, you and Timothée started your relationship while he was in a relationship with Kylie Jenner. That was not the case and all three of you knew that. Since the devil works hard, Kylie Jenner’s team works harder. They seemed to add fuel to the fire by pushing the narrative that maybe you did “seduce” Timothée to get in the way of their relationship. Because she’s so powerful, everyone turned against you. Her fans commented nasty things on your Instagram, sent you death threats, and harassed you when they saw you in public.

The funny thing about this whole ordeal was that when this whole narrative began, you and Timothée had already called it quits. It was baffling to say the least, but in true fashion, you chose not to say anything. Instead, you hid in isolation for a year and wrote a few songs about the whole thing. It saddened you that not even Timothée defended you against Kylie’s false claims. He just watched and let it happen. You reached out to Kylie’s team about it, but they never responded. You were never one to create drama, but when everything simmered down, you released a music video for your new song, “because i liked a boy”.

Meanwhile, Timothée was scrolling on YouTube to watch something. It was his day off and he was happy just lounging around. As he scrolled, he saw your newest video. He looked around to see if he was alone before clicking the video. Immediately, he was in awe. The melody and the visuals were appealing. The video opened with you lying down on a trampoline. He watched intently as you sang.

I said I wanted thin mints

And you said you knew a guy

You showed up with a boom box

And stars in your eyes

He smiled to himself as he remembered the first time he’s been to your place. It didn’t take a genius to know that the song was for him. He knew from the first line. Listening to the first four lines made him excited to listen to the rest of the song.

Who knew cuddling on trampolines

Could be so reckless?

We bonded over Black Eyed Peas

And complicated exes

It was true. You and him have always talked about your exes. Mainly because they seem to be all the same in terms of personality. He was glad to finally meet someone who sees on the same page as him.

Fell so deeply into it

It was all so innocent

In the video, you sat up, grabbed the newspaper next to you, and opened it. The front page revealed the words: “Y/N, THE WRECKER OF RELATIONSHIPS”. In the next frame, you were walking down the red carpet and everyone was pushing you away, ostracizing you in the industry.

Now I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am 

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked

Timothée was surprised at the choice of words you used. He genuinely felt bad for everything that you’ve been through. You didn’t deserve any of it. He hated his management team for advising him not to say anything because it could ruin his reputation.

I’m the hot topic on your tongue

In the next scene, you got a Kylie Jenner look alike to portray what she does on Instagram live and then she holds up a picture of you, gags, and rips it apart. 

I’m a rebound gettin’ round

Stealing from the young

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

In the video, you were back at your house while holding your heels. A man was waiting for you and you had an argument about something.

I’m not catastrophizing

Everything’s derailing

You let go of your shoes and hugged the man from behind, but he pushed you off and walked away. You cried and sat on the stairs. Timothée’s heart broke seeing you like that.

Was only tryna hold you close

While your heart was failing

It’s not internet illusion

Just two kids going through it

You said I’m too late to be your first love

But I’ll always be your favorite

That part was true. He did tell you that. He was surprised you included it in your song. He still meant what he said. You were, and still are, his favorite. It just didn’t work out in the end.

Now I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am 

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked

I’m the hot topic on your tongue

I’m a rebound gettin’ round

Stealing from the young

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Fell so deeply into it

It was all so innocent

Dating boys with exes

No, I wouldn’t recommend it

He proceeded to watch your video intently, not knowing what was about to come next. He watched as the man left with his belongings, leaving you crying. In the next scene you were in the dining area, holding up the newspaper from the first scene. You put it down and sang.

I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Just then pictures of you and Timothée popped up, making him smile a bit. He missed you. There was no denying that you two were a good match; a great match. His smile disappeared when all your pictures were replaced with real headlines regarding the situation, calling you nasty names. The camera slowly zoomed in on your face to show your real emotions.

And all of this for what?

When everything went down

We’d already broken up

Please tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Timothée teared up and sniffed. You didn’t deserve any of that. He read the comments and all of it was positive; people immediately switched to your side after being cruel the previous year. You didn’t release that song as an intention to hurt or shade anybody. You just wanted people to know your side of the story seeing as Kylie and her team loved to fabricate the shit out of everything. You wanted people to hear it from you through song. Needless to say, you didn’t disappoint.

A few weeks later, you were invited to perform at an awards show. You were walking down the red carpet, taking pictures, and avoiding interviews like the plague when you saw him. You both looked at each other in shock. He smiled at you and gave him a curt nod. You didn’t speak to him after that. Your chapter with him already closed and both of you knew that it was done and over with. You looked away, but he stared at you longer. After a while, he smiled to himself, looked away, and went on with his night.

[ambrosalovesyou]

Just a thought (I am not confident enough w my writing to write this out like as a whole fanfic so…)

- imagine you are a siren, and you work under Azul as a sort of trap for the boys of NRC so that Azul can get more contracts.

- as a siren, you’re naturally alluring, and you amped it up considerably ever since you signed a contract w Azul. You get paid by the amount of people who pay him / sign a contract with him.

- let’s say the way this works is generally simple: you find a man, your target, and flirt with him. Your melodic voice lured him in, and your touches were so fleeting to him. You tell him you love a man who is open about his feelings, so he tells you about his sorrows. You tell him that Azul can fix these problems. (Or, if you’re really cold, you tell him that you can’t be with him because he isn’t pretty enough, causing him to go to Azul to fix that).

- No matter the method, you are very good at luring them in. All for the expense of your love and affections, or that they genuinely believe that Azul can help them because why would someone as beautiful and sweet as you lie to him?

- When the day is done, you make a trip to Azul’s office and collect your payment. You’re so valuable that weekly or monthly paychecks aren’t enough - you’re an expensive siren, and you need the best to keep up your appearance!

- Of course, Azul obliges. Ever since you showed up, business has been booming! You kiss him on the cheek everytime, you were a sort of dog on a leash for him. (And honestly you didn’t really mind, the idea of you with a chain around your neck with Azul holding the other end and smirking down at you is pleasant imagery. You’re a siren! You’re born to be promiscuous!)

- You were easy to maintain compared to the twins, you found it fun to trick people, to see men grovel and weep for you, about their issues, and for them to inevitably not fulfil their contracts and have to work for Azul for however long.

- However, Azul was… changing. He’s been giving you some excuses for you to see him whenever possible, he believed that maybe if you saw him more in his office, you’d leave him with a new kiss mark each time. But no - you’d only ever do it if you’re collecting your paycheck.

- sometimes he would ramble about his business and you’d go “aw, wow, I’m happy for you! Good job, darling~” and his stomach would do flips but he would reprimand you with a blushing face.

- Jade and Floyd are catching on, you can hear them chuckling or Floyd going “hey hey, Azul, you got a thing for the siren now~?” Or “gross… PDA, keep that to yourself!”

- and what doesnt help at all is the fact you have been going online putting yourself on the line. The boys you send in always go “I want (Y/N) to be mine! You can’t keep them here against their will!”

- have you been telling people that you’re kept here against your will? Azul suspects it’s just to make them scared and have a sense of urgency to protect you or to save you like a ‘woe is me damsel/dude in distress’ sort of thing, but what if it’s true?? Do you hate him?

- Contracts have become even more stressful than usual now too. Of course with you on the line, Floyd and Jade have to make sure that the contract fails each time, so that you don’t get taken from him.

- and then you laugh when he tells you off and just blow him a kiss? Like! The nerve! Seriously, listen to him, will you?

- one day, when you came to pick up your check after a week of this ‘I’ll save (Y/N)’ nonsense, you got the check from his desk and walked out WITHOUT giving him a kiss on the cheek.

- “aren’t you forgetting something?” He asked, and you turned around with a smirk. “Oh, did I?” He felt his skin turn red with embarrassment, like a tomato. He always thought he had you on a leash, but it turns out it was the other way around. He’d been waiting all day, like a dog waiting for its owner, for its treat - your affection, your kisses, and your kiss marks which he kept on until the next morning where he HAD to take them off for school.

- you gave him two kiss marks to make up for the fact that you’ve been such a pain the last week, and you know it because he’s been looking more stressed out and crazier than usual.

- “please stop telling people you’ll be with them if it weren’t for me..” “why?” “Because, well, you’re a valuable asset and you made a contract with me, and you have to fulfill it. Besides, you don’t actually hate me that much.. yes? Right?” He asked, clearly seeking for reassurance.

- You shook your head and put a hand on his cheek, and gave him a kiss. He literally nearly jolted like he got shocked from Jade or something when you did. You pulled back and giggled while walking out of the room.

- great seven, why did he have to feel this way about *you*? A siren? This is surely more trouble than it’s worth, and what would pining after you do for Monstro Lounge?

- … well, for once, he might care about something more than the lounge. And it was you; his very own employed siren.

So trash ik but I can’t use it for an oc so someone else pls make this better for me if u can write PLEASE PLSPLSPLSPLSPLSPSLSLL

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Something There (Chapter 8)

6.7k words

Roy Kent x Reader

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, angst, mentions of slut-shaming and double standards, horrible reporters being horrible, pining, finally some fluff!!!

A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter so far, and has some of my favorite scenes I've ever written!! My heart is HAPPY!!

Series Masterlist

I understood; I understood completely.

Ted Lasso was warm, and kind, and fun. He looked at a person like they mattered and listened with genuine interest. He made you feel like he’d have your back and believed in you.

Ted Lasso was exactly what I needed.

After chatting over drinks about our backgrounds and careers, delving into our shared deep love for sports and coaching, he finally broached the subject that had been plaguing me nonstop for what felt like an eternity.

“So. How’re you doing? With all this… hullabaloo?”

He was too kind and polite to even name the hell I was living in.

A grimace crossed my face as I lifted my beer to my lips, trying to delay answering the question for as long as possible while those patient eyes gazed at me. Finally, I had no choice but to fill the silence. “I am… okay,” I finally mumbled. “Trying to just focus on the team, you know?”

Ted nodded, watching me carefully. “I completely understand,” he hummed. “Well, I mean, not completely of course. It’s mighty unfair the way they talk about you. But…” He shrugged, giving a small pop with his mouth. “I mean, they weren’t exactly nice to me when I got here. The press, the team, hell, even Becca.” His face softened at those last couple of words. “But, eyes on the prize, as they say.” He patted my hand gently, a paternal touch I didn’t realize I needed. “Now, like I said, I don’t totally understand what you’re going through. But if you need someone who has some small idea, well, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Ted,” I murmured. “I really appreciate it.”

He shrugged, turning his attention to glance around the pub. “Anytime, Clementine.”

After a moment, I opened my mouth again. “I’ve just waited my whole life for this. To be a role model, more than a pretty face that runs fast. Sometimes that’s all I felt like back when I played. And being a coach, well everything depends on my brain, you know?” Ted’s understanding nod urged me on. “And I was finally doing it. I was winning, and because England actually gives some semblance of a crap about soccer, people started to know who I was. And then…” A big breath left my lungs. “And then this… thing happens, and it’s like nothing else matters. Olympic medals, World Cups, national titles, win streaks. Nope. Everyone thinks I’m just another Roy Kent girl.”

“You’re not just another Roy Kent girl,” Ted assured me. “It might feel like it, whatever that means, but you’re not. You’re Coach Buck, for Pete’s sake.” His smile warmed all the cold parts of my heart that had developed since Keeley first showed me the photos. “And it might feel like everyone thinks so, but I can tell you for a fact it’s not true.” He pulled out his phone and showed me the freckle-faced kid who took up his lock screen. “My boy has not stopped asking about you since I got here. Kid thinks you’re the absolute bee’s knees, Coach. He doesn’t care about these stupid headlines or what you do off the field. Heck, he even told me I should ask you for some coaching pointers.”

Beer nearly shot out of my nose as I let out a thankful laugh. “Ted Lasso, you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that.”

“Sure, I do.” He bumped his shoulder into mine. “Sometimes, ya just need a reminder about why we do what we do. To inspire other people to be their best selves.” He nodded towards his phone before pocketing it. “And you sure as heck inspire this kid. And I’m willing to bet he ain’t the only one.”

I stared at him for a moment. “You know… If you want, we could Facetime him while you’re here. If you think he’d like that, I mean.”

Lasso’s smile lit up the whole pub. “He’d love that, Coach.”

~

“Hey, Coach. Ready for that chat?”

A growl escaped Roy’s throat as Ted entered the empty office. “No,” he huffed, turning his attention back to the playbook on his desk.

Ignoring Roy’s scowl, not for the first time since they’d met, Ted plopped himself down on Beard’s desk, eyebrows raised. “I know what you need,” he announced, leaning over to grab the phone off Roy’s desk. “Better get some bones and treats, because I’m calling the Diamond Dogs.”

Before Roy could protest, Ted had called Higgins and texted Nate and Beard; almost instantly the office was filled with the sounds of howling and barking that Roy was sure anyone who was still in the building could hear. The men assembled, closing doors and perching themselves in chairs and against walls, eyes expectantly trained on Roy, as if they already knew the reason for this meeting.

When Roy glared at Ted, the American knew he’d have to get the ball rolling.

“Diamond Dogs,” he announced, “as y’all know, our favorite junkyard dog here has been goin’ through somethin’. I bet he could use some friendly ears to bark at.” He nodded to Roy. “Coach?”

There was no getting out of this. Roy knew that. So, he might as well get it over with.

“Yeah.” He turned his chair and plopped his feet on his desk, trying to keep up his uncaring demeanor. “You all fucking know. Fucking photos, fucking paparazzi and reporters, blah blah blah.” He nodded to Ted, whose face was stupidly supportive. “There. Done.”

Nate cleared his throat. “What about you and Coach Buck?”

It was probably the harshest scowl Roy had given in a long time. “What about me and Coach Buck?” His chest felt tight just saying her name out loud.

“Well…” Nate’s eyes were on the ceiling. “I mean, the two of you were getting kind of close, weren’t you? Before all this happened?” He seemed to shrink slightly under Roy’s glare. “Weren’t you?”

“We’re not close,” Roy spat. “So, dunno what there is to talk about.”

Beard sighed and narrowed his eyes at Roy. “How about we talk about how unhappy you’ve been ever since this all went down? How about we talk about the fact that you slept with her- don’t make that face at me, neither of you have denied it- and now you both look like the most miserable people in the world? Let’s talk about that.”

Before Roy could argue, Higgins cleared his throat. “Roy, have you tried, I don’t know, talking to the poor girl?”

Was there a way to renounce his membership from the fucking Diamond Dogs? “As a matter of fact, we have talked. And she wants nothing to do with me. So, again, what’s the point in any of this?”

Ted cleared his throat. “If I may, Coach, it sure didn’t look like she wanted nothing to do with ya when I saw y’all in the parking lot.” His face was soft. “She seemed pretty grateful for your help, actually. Did everything but call you her knight in shining armor when she told me about that paparazzo.”

Roy rolled his eyes, hating the blush on his face for betraying him. “Yeah, well, that’s about all I’m good for probably.” He stared at his shoes for a moment, scrunching his nose. “Just hate seeing her so fucking miserable,” he heard himself admit quietly. “It’s not really fair, this shit. All that ‘takes two to tango’ shit, but no one’s saying a word about me. It’s stupid as hell.” Dammit, he was ranting now. “And I just want to fucking fix everything but I can’t.”

“You could be her friend,” Ted said quietly. “It sounds like she could really use more of those right now.” He cleared his throat. “You know, I told her all about how Henry just really admires her- heck, I think there might be a little crush there too- and let me tell you, she looked so relieved to hear that. We actually FaceTimed him earlier today before he went to school, and man she was almost as jazzed as he was.” Ted shrugged.

Higgins nodded. “I think she just needs to feel supported and respected right now.” He cocked his head at Roy. “Just give her that, Roy. The rest will follow.”

“The fuck do you mean ‘the rest’-?”

The sound of a door opening had the men jumping. Through the window, Roy could see Buck stroll into her office, sipping her water bottle and looking at something on her phone. She froze, as if she could feel the eyes of the Diamond Dogs on her. She blinked several times when she looked up and saw the Greyhounds office filled with men staring. With her eyes on Roy, she gave a small, awkward wave before sitting at her desk and turning to her computer.

Ted smiled at Roy. “Diamond Dogs, dismissed.”

With soft barks and yaps, the men dispersed, ready to call it a day and go home. Roy sat at his desk, staring through that window, watching her type away. He thought about what they’d said; for some reason, he felt struck by Ted’s mention of Henry. Not quite sure what he was doing, Roy stood and approached the door that separated their offices. He opened it softly, raising his eyebrows when she turned around to look at him.

“Knock, knock,” he mumbled stupidly.

Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but Roy would take what he could get. “Hey, Coach.” She wrinkled her nose. “What the fuck was all that barking?”

“Barking? What barking?” Roy entered the office and perched on Lucas’s desk, feigning ignorance as he stared at the too-pretty manager.

“Fine, don’t tell me,” she chuckled with an eyeroll. “Need something? I’m just trying to finish a couple emails before I head out.”

Roy studied her face for a moment. His gaze briefly flickered to her Brandi Chastain poster before returning to those eyes that made his insides squirm. “Would you want to come meet Phoebe’s football team?”

She blinked a few times. “Phoebe’s team?” she echoed.

He nodded, feeling good about himself for once. “Yeah. She asked me a while ago about inviting you, hasn’t shut up about you since the charity game actually.” He shrugged. “I think it’d be… fun.”

The hesitation in her eyes was heartbreaking. “Oh, I don’t know, Roy…” She bit her lip. “What if the parents don’t like me being there?”

Fuck, her voice was tiny. “If they don’t like the idea of a fucking Olympic champion watching their daughter’s football practice, they can deal with me,” he huffed. “What d’you say? Want to make me the coolest uncle in the world?”

“Well, in that case.” A genuine little smile graced her face. “Alright. Fine. I’m there.”

~

Leaving the Dog Track to go meet Roy and the girls’ team, I felt that familiar mixture of excitement and anxiety, the kind I got before games, or before an important meeting. It was a good feeling; I hadn’t had it in a while. My phone vibrating interrupted my reflecting on why this practice had me so wound-up.

“Hello?”

“Hey there.” I could hear Geroge’s smile through the phone. “I know it’s last minute, but I wanted to see if you’d want to grab dinner tonight?”

I cleared my throat as I started my walk towards the address Roy had given me. “Oh, sorry, not tonight, George. I’ve got plans.”

The disappointment in his voice was kind of sweet. “No problem. Anything exciting?”

Why did I feel weird telling him?

“Kent invited me to come meet his niece’s team,” I explained slowly. “So I’m heading on over to the school to go see their practice, say hello to the girls. Should be fun.” I tried to keep my voice light and casual, as if this was a totally normal thing to do.

Goerge was silent for a moment. “Oh. That’s lovely of you.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t you think it’s a little risky though? Being out like that? Someone might see the two of you, take some pictures…”

I passed a Whippets advertisement, one that had yet to be graffitied. “I mean, it’s a kids’ soccer practice. I doubt the press’ll be there,” I pointed out with a huffy chuckle. “And honestly, I don’t really care if anyone sees. What can they say about me visiting a girls’ team that they didn’t already say about me going into Roy Kent’s house?”

Another silence came, the same one that usually followed references to the fact that I’d slept with Roy; I hadn’t directly told George that I had, he hadn’t directly asked, but it wasn’t difficult to figure out. It was clearly not something George liked thinking about, and it was something I did my best to avoid bringing up. But for some reason, it slipped out now.

“Well,” he finally murmured. “I think you’ll have a good time. Should be a fun little evening with the kids… and Kent.” He paused. “Call me later?”

“Sure,” I hummed, hating the sinking feeling that I’d done something wrong. “Talk to you later.” I shoved my phone into my pocket and continued my walk, trying to ignore whatever that phone call was and focus instead on the evening ahead of me.

When I finally arrived at the school field, I realized my heart was hammering. It was kind of ridiculous; I’d done school visits and things like that. I’d spoken in front of crowds of students and young athletes. But for some reason, visiting one little girls’ soccer team had me feeling the way I did before stepping onto the field for the World Cup: anxious, unable to breathe.

But a high-pitched squeal immediately brought a smile to my face.

“Coach Buck!”

With a small wave, I approached the group of girls that were passing and warming up; immediately, I was tackled by a familiar blonde.

“Hey, Pheobe,” I chuckled, hugging her back. “How’ve you been?”

She beamed up at me. “Good! I’m so glad you came. I’ve been asking and asking Uncle Roy to invite you. And-”

“And she’s fucking here, ain’t she?” Roy wrapped an arm around Phoebe and shoved her aside. “Go warm up, you.” As Phoebe scampered away, he nodded to me. “Coach.”

I couldn’t help but smirk at him. “Coach.”

He cleared his throat, suddenly the picture of nervousness. “Right. So, I was thinking, I’d introduce you to the team, you could say a few words if you want, and maybe you could help run training? Unless you’d rather just watch. Either way’s fine with me.”

“I’d love to help.”

His face turned relieved. “Great.” He turned towards the group of girls, who were more interested in us than in their warmup. “Oi! Huddle up!” As soon as the girls were gathered around, Roy nodded curtly at me. “This here’s Coach Buck. She manages the Richmond Whippets. And, in case Phoebe here hasn’t already told you, she’s a World Cup champion and has an Olympic gold medal.” The excited buzzing from the girls had me fighting a smile- and it looked like Roy was fighting one too. “She wanted to come say hello to you all and help with practice. Sound good?”

“Yes, Coach!”

Roy raised an eyebrow at me. “Coach?”

With a deep breath, I took a step forward, willing myself to gaze at the little faces staring back with solemn expressions of excitement and awe. “Hello, ladies,” I greeted, putting on my best smile. “Roy- Coach Kent- has told me that you are probably the best team he coaches.” Their little giggles began to put me at ease. “And I am so excited to get to hang out with you today and see what you’ve got!”

The next hour was the best one I’d had since I moved to England- probably one of the best hours of my entire life. The girls were more than talented- they were enthusiastic, fierce, passionate, determined, fearless, everything I remembered being at their age. They played as if there was no such thing as losing or getting hurt. Every mistake was an opportunity to get better, every success was meant to be exceeded. By the end of practice, I knew every girl’s name and felt a tug in my heart when they called me “Coach”.

“Uncle Roy,” Phoebe hummed as he gathered the team at the end of practice. “Can we try to get past you?”

Roy glanced in my direction before shrugging. “You girls really want to play?”

The resounding YES had me wondering what ‘getting past’ Roy meant. As if she could sense my curiosity, Phoebe tugged my hand.

“You’re going to love this, Coach Buck,” she gushed. “It’s our favorite!”

The girls lined up, bouncing with excitement, while Roy grabbed a ball and jogged towards one of the goals made of a couple of cones. With the ease of someone who’d done this dozens of times, he rolled the ball to Kokoruda, who was first in line. She immediately began dribbling towards Roy and made a respectable attempt to score on the experienced player.

“Next!” he barked after kicking the ball out of bounds.

One by one, the girls tried to score on Roy; and each one failed.

“You don’t go easy on them?” I probed as I trotted over to Roy to return another ball to him.

He caught the ball with ease. “Fuck no,” he chuckled. “Their opponents won’t ever go easy on ‘em, will they? Why should I?”

Before I could concede that he had a point, Phoebe called out, “Coach Bucky! You should try!”

With a smirk, Roy tossed the ball back to me. “Yeah, Coach Bucky. You should try.”

Maybe it was being around the girls, maybe it was the cockiness on Roy Kent’s face. Maybe it was something else. “Fine, I’ll try,” I shot back, taking my place at the front of the line. I looked at the girls. “Any of you ever get it past him?” When they all shook their heads, my grin grew. “Well, guess he’s due for a loss then.”

I stood with my foot on top of the ball for a moment, just staring down Roy Kent. He narrowed his eyes playfully, a smile almost breaking through his serious glare. With a deep breath, I began dribbling, wondering when I had last just played like this. Roy jogged out to meet me, expertly trying to get the ball out of my control. We moved this way, that way; I was a bit surprised how well I was doing against him, if I was being honest.

“Not going easy on me, are you Kent?” I huffed, very aware of the way his body pressed against mine as he tried to steal the ball from behind me.

“Not a fucking chance,” he assured me, his breath tickling my neck.

With what I hoped was a casual chuckle, I found my opening, evading Roy and making my way towards the goal, a smaller target than I was used to. As I inched forward, I felt a pair of hands brush my sides, warm and playful.

Phoebe’s giggling voice interrupted the reeling in my head. “Uncle Roy, that’s a foul!”

“Right!” came a gruff voice behind me, laughing as the hands disappeared.

Able to return my focus to the ball at my feet, I sprinted forward, ankle be damned, and broke away from Roy; the ball sailed between the cones with ease, giving me that old, thrilling feeling of scoring a goal. When I turned around, the girls were cheering- and Roy was smiling at me.

“My knee’s fucked,” he huffed jokingly between breaths, hands on his hips as he approached. “That was hardly fair.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him as we started to walk back towards the team. “Oh, and what would you call my ankle?”

His smile widened. “Also fucked.”

Before I could snark back, the girls tackled me with hugs and shouts, clearly impressed that anyone could get past their burly coach. Roy eyed me over their heads, his face soft, reminding me of the night of the gala. All I could do was grin back at him, wondering if he felt the same warmth in his chest that I felt.

Roy dismissed his team, reminding them about their upcoming game, one they begged me to come watch. To my shock, a few parents stopped me to shake my hand and ask if they could get a picture of me with their daughter; that warm feeling in my chest grew with each “My daughter adores you!” or “It’s so cool that you came!” The whole time, Roy and Phoebe collected the equipment, with Phoebe watching me with great interest.

As the last of the girls left, I meandered over to the coach and his niece, stopping when I found myself looking into those brown eyes.

“Thanks, Kent,” I said, wondering if he could hear the thick emotion in my voice. “This… this was exactly what I needed.”

His eyes sparkled. “What, a bunch of little girls worshipping you?”

A snort escaped when I tried to hold back my laughter. “They didn’t worship-”

“Fuck off,” he chuckled, giving me a soft punch in the arm. “They fucking adored you. You’re their queen or some shit. Seriously-” He bobbled his head playfully. “-they’re probably planning a coup to get rid of me so you can be their coach.” He pointed to Pheobe, who was hovering nearby, obviously anxious to interrupt our conversation. “And that little traitor will be leading the fucking cavalry.” He waved her over. “Come say goodnight, Phoebe.”

Phoebe wrapped her arms around me, giving a squeeze. “Thank you for coming,” she gushed before letting go. “You know I have your poster in my room?” Her smile was full of pride. “I told Uncle Roy I wanted one, so he got one for me. It’s right above my dresser, so I can see it when I get ready for football.”

My jaw dropped slightly as my gaze shifted between Phoebe and Roy, who shrugged at me. Before I could think of something to say, he opened his mouth.

“I’ll make you a deal, Pheebs,” he started, eyes fixated on me. “You score in our next match, I’ll take you to see the Whippets, and we can ask very nicely if Coach Buck here will sign your poster.”

A lump formed in my throat when I saw the delight on Phoebe’s face. “Yeah,” I managed to choke out as I blinked back tears. “I could do that.”

~

There was a dull ache in Roy’s knee when he arrived at the Dog Track early the next morning, but it was a hell of a lot better than the sharp pain in his chest that seemed to be slowly disappearing. He figured he’d pop into the treatment room, grab some ice and baby his knee before getting ready for training.

When he walked through the door, he realized he wasn’t the only one that needed some tending to.

There she was, leg propped up on a chair, ice on her ankle as she scrolled on her phone. Her head snapped up at the sound of the door opening, and her face broke into one of those perfect smiles when she saw it was Roy. Without a word, they both started chuckling, almost relieved to see that the other had also overdone it the night before.

“Guess you meant it when you said you weren’t going easy on me,” she mused, watching Roy grab himself an ice pack.

He chuckled and rolled up his trackpants to expose his knee, flinching slightly as the cold touched his bare skin. “You’d fucking kill me if I did,” he pointed out. “It’d be fucking insulting.” After a moment of silence, staring at each other’s injuries, Roy opened his mouth again. “I’ll be at your game tonight,” he murmured, hoping he sounded casual.

Instead of the surprised look he expected, he swore he saw pleasure on her face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He let his eyes linger on her face. “I know the guys’ve been trying to go to as many matches as possible to show their support. Told Sam and Jamie I’d be joining them tonight. Richmond til we die, right?”

“Richmond til we die,” she repeated, her soft smile nearly stopping Roy’s heart.

Their quiet moment was interrupted by the door opening again. Rebecca stood with her hand on the doorknob, eyebrows raised at the sight of her two managers grinning at each other and icing their injuries.

“Good morning, coaches,” she greeted in a light voice, eyebrows raising slightly higher when she locked eyes with Roy before turning to the Whippets manager. “Just wanted to check in, I know you’ve got a long day. Match is at six, I believe some of the Greyhounds will be there again-”

Roy couldn’t resist piping up. “We will be.”

Rebecca didn’t bother hiding her smile as she went on. “After the match, Keeley will take Lucas to the press room, and you and I can-”

This time, the other manager interrupted her. “No.”

“No?” Rebecca blinked.

“Fuck it,” she sighed, sitting up and tossing her ice pack aside. “This is my team, right? I’m doing the press conference. Luke has covered for me long enough.”

Rebecca tilted her head sympathetically. “Are you sure?”

For a moment, those eyes turned to Roy, silently asking for his thoughts, as though his opinion mattered to her. When he gave her the tiniest, almost unnoticeable nod, she looked back at Rebecca, head held high. “Hell yeah.”

Roy had chosen the right match to come to, he realized. A 4-0 win to move into first place had him grinning with the Greyhounds as they cheered on the Whippets before they disappeared back into the tunnel. For a moment, he locked eyes with Buck, who tapped her fingers to her temple, giving Roy’s signature little salute. He saluted back, ignoring the grin on Jamie’s face. Maybe, just maybe, the two managers could grab a drink together to celebrate her win. Roy’s treat, of course. She’d more than earned it.

But first, she had a press conference to give. The Whippets and Greyhounds, intent on celebrating together, assembled in the weight room and gathered around the televisions on the wall. Roy stood right in front, Jamie by his side, eyes glued to the screen as she took her seat, red lips curled into a perfect smile.

Initially, the questions were typical post-match queries: how did she feel about the performance, what did she have to say about this error, how thrilling was that goal. And she handled them all with ease, reminding Roy of that first press conference he’d watched, where he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. But now, instead of a scowl, he almost wore a smile watching her, and he finally understood why his heart was hammering so hard. Yeah, this was good. She was good.

Until the questions weren’t good.

“Roy Kent was in the stands today,” one reporter called out. “Any thoughts on that?”

Her smile faltered as her eyes shifted away from the crowd in front of her. “Oh. Yes, the Greyhounds have been great in showing their support for the Whippets.” Her smile returned, though not as confident as before. “We’re overdue to cheer them on, so keep an eye out for us at their next match!”

Another question came at her. “What is your relationship with Roy now?”

She cleared her throat. “All the coaches here at Richmond have a great respect and fondness for one another. We’re lucky to have two great staffs that work together so well. It’s how we get wins like the one we had today, on both the men’s and women’s sides.”

Roy felt his face burn, along with several pairs of eyes staring at him. He didn’t care that she avoided the question; it was the same non-answer Keeley had given him to spout out whenever he got asked the same thing. It was the way the question came out, accusatory and aggressive, that had him frowning.

“Does your dominant personality play a role in your relationship with Roy Kent?”

There was no denying the way she scrunched her nose, fully understanding the implication. “Again, all of us coaches hold each other in high regard and have great professional relationships. Now, if you want to talk dominance, out there on the field today, Kira-”

“Speaking of Kira Malone,” a gruff voice interrupted. “She was recently seen at a pub with Jamie Tartt. Do you think your affair with Roy Kent has made the Whippets think it’s okay to run around with the Greyhounds? Is that professional?”

She began sputtering for the first time. “I would hardly call it an affair- But honestly, they’re adults, they’re professionals, I honestly-”

“And you were spotted with Ted Lasso recently,” another voice called out. “Can we assume you’ve moved on from Roy Kent?”

Her eyes widened, but she tried to recover her cool. “Coach Lasso’s a great coach. I-”

A harsh laugh rang out of the speakers. “Yeah, what does Kent think of your relationship with his ex-manager?”

Roy took a step towards the door; he knew that running into that press room would make things worse, would be a headline every paper would be running in the morning, but he didn’t give a fuck. His whole body was burning with fury as he listened to them challenge and fucking laugh at her.

A hand clasped his shoulder; Jamie was shaking his head, eyes full of sympathy, as if he too wanted to rush in and rescue her. But they both knew that she needed to do this on her own.

“Oi, is Roy why you always wear that red lipstick? Should we expect to see it on his collar sometime?”

She looked small, so impossibly small, not at all like the woman Roy had been fighting with and falling for all these months. Her defiance disappeared under their demeaning questions, her fierceness was stolen by their laughter, her cockiness was stifled by their mockery.

“What kind of example do you think you’re setting for the girls of Richmond? Sleeping with Roy Kent and all?”

That seemed to be the question that knocked the fight out of her.

“Oh, fuck this,” Roy growled, tugging out his phone. He quickly typed six little words, the first text message he’d ever sent her.

Don’t you fucking dare play nice.

Her eyes flickered to her phone, eyebrows raising; Roy knew she’d gotten his message. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting them continue to shout and shame her. Finally, she sat up tall, jaw set, and stared down the crowd in front of her.

“You know what?” she asked, her voice low and gravely. “Fuck these questions you keep asking me.” Roy was sure he heard Keeley squeak on the television. “You’re not asking Roy Kent these questions. You’re not asking if he’s a good role model. You’re not questioning his ability to manage his team.” She shook her head. “What message am I sending to young girls? Really? How about what message are you sending?”

Roy was sure it was Kira Malone’s voice behind him calling out, “Fuck yeah, Buck!”

She sat up taller now. “I am a fucking Olympian. I am a champion coach. I have won more titles and trophies and medals than this entire building combined.”

“Tell ‘em, Coach!” Jamie laughed, nodding up at her face onscreen.

Roy’s mind wandered, of all places, to his niece. To the way she adored that loud, abrasive woman, a woman who was standing up for girls like Phoebe. A lump formed in his throat as he listened; fuck, he might actually fucking cry. And he didn’t care if the Greyhounds saw the tears in his eyes. He didn’t even care about the way Jamie was staring at him; he was too enraptured by the scene unfolding on the television.

“I chose to sleep with a nice man one time, and suddenly all my accomplishments don’t matter? Who cares about Olympic gold when you’ve gone to bed with Roy Kent? What defines me is who I go home with? What message is that for the daughters of Richmond? You’re telling your girls that their accomplishments and dreams are nothing compared with what they do in the bedroom. No.” Her eyes were hard and steely as she shook her head. “Fuck this. I’m done. If I wanted to go and sleep with Roy Kent tonight, that’s my own damn business. If I wanted to sleep with any other man, or woman, or whoever, that’s my business.”

Shouts of agreement echoed through the weight room, from both Whippets and Greyhounds. A smile crept across Roy’s lips; fuck, she was incredible. If he wasn’t in love before, he definitely was now.

“What example am I setting for the girls of Richmond?” she asked with a dry laugh. “Not letting jackasses like you question our worth because of a man. That’s the example I’m setting. So if you’re here to ask about my sex life, you can fuck right off. It’s not up for debate, not anymore. It’s not what we’re talking about, now or ever. What I’m here to talk about is the fact that the Whippets are in first place and are expected to finish in the top three in our first damn season. How about you ask me about that?”

~

My heartbeat throbbed in my ears as I stood up, only vaguely registering the female reporters and handful of men who also stood, clapping and calling out words of support. I grabbed my phone and rushed out of the press room, not bothering to look at Keeley and Rebecca; I’d apologize to them later. I’d do whatever Keeley needed me to do to spin this. I’d offer to do whatever public appearances Rebecca demanded.

But first, I needed to get to my office to hyperventilate in peace.

As my feet did their job, carrying me down the halls, I became aware of the sound of… clapping? Cheering?

When I turned the last corner that would take me to the changing room, I finally stopped in my tracks.

Lining the hall were both Richmond teams, a beautiful jumble of smiles and applause and cheers, all watching me with affection. Suddenly, I found myself smothered with hugs and kisses and handshakes. Kira held me close, whispering in my ear about how proud she was to play for me; Jamie Tartt kissed my forehead and called me a bad-ass; over and over, Greyhounds and Whippets embraced me and offered their love and support.

By the time I reached the locker room, tears were freely streaming down my face, releasing all the emotion I’d been holding back in the press room; hell, all the emotion I’d been holding back since Keeley first showed me the photos of me and Roy.

The Greyhounds coaches stood in front of the locker room, pride shining on their faces. Beard and Nate each held me tight, murmuring about how amazed they were. Finally, Roy stood in front of me, his eyes watery as he gazed down at me.

“Welcome back, Coach,” he hummed, sticking out his hand.

I grasped his hand, shaking it firmly, unable to hold back my tearful smile. “Good to be back, Coach,” I murmured. I gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. “And thank you,” I whispered.

He shook his head softly. “Anytime.”

A pair of arms wrapped around me; Lucas was hugging me, tighter than anyone else had. “I’m so proud of you,” he choked out, crying almost as hard as I was. “So fucking proud, kid.”

With one last look at Roy, I let Lucas steer me into our office, listening to him chatter about how much he loved my little speech. I collapsed in my chair and laughed, from disbelief that I had just done that. My phone went off; George.

“Hey!” I exclaimed, wiping my face. “Did ya see me?”

“What the hell, Buck?” he hissed. “You just made things so much harder on yourself. They’re not going to forgive you for this. They’re not going to like you after this. Trust me, I know these people.”

When Lucas saw the way my face fell, he gave my shoulder a squeeze and left, figuring I needed some privacy.

I hunched over my desk and clutched my phone to my face. “To be honest, George, I don’t think I care if they like me. They don’t respect me, so why do I care if they think I’m nice?” I shook my head. “I’m proud of myself, actually. And so is my team. And so are the Greyhounds.” And so is Roy Kent, a little voice in the back of my head whispered.

He paused. “It was good,” he sighed. “You sounded great. Honestly, it was a great ‘girl power’ moment.” There was another moment of quiet on his end before his voice turned thoughtful. “You know, I bet we could do a great article about this. Give your side of things, talk all about the slut-shaming and double standards-”

“Didn’t you listen to what I said?” I scoffed, sensing someone approaching my office. “I’m fucking done talking about this. I’m not answering questions about this, ever again. Everyone knows I had sex with Roy Kent, that’s more than they need to know. I don’t owe anyone anything else.”

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “Why don’t we grab a late dinner? Could, I dunno, celebrate your win or something.”

For the first time since we met, I had no interest in seeing George Willows. “Not tonight,” I muttered. “I just… want to go home. Sleep. Avoid Twitter.” I finally turned, realizing it was, of all people, Roy hovering in my doorway. “Listen, I gotta go. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Not waiting for a reply, I hung up, tossing my phone on my desk before turning my chair around, raising my eyebrows teasingly at Roy. “Need something? Or are you going to send me another inspiring text message?”

He stared at me, mouth open like he was about to speak. Finally, he just shook his head and let out a breathy chuckle. “Fuck,” he breathed, stepping further into my office. “You… you were fucking something today, you know that?”

I shook my head and stood up, meeting him in the middle of the room. “Kent-”

“No.” He smirked at me. “Take the fucking compliment.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to tell you I was… really impressed today.” He cleared his throat. “On the field. In the press room. You’re a fucking great manager.” He let out a deep breath, eyes shifting around the office. “Don’t think I’ve told you that, and I’m sorry I haven’t.” He met my gaze, his smirk becoming a smile. “And I am very glad Phoebe has someone like you to look up to. So… that’s it, I guess.”

Roy Kent was looking at me with admiration. Roy Kent, who’d hated me and screamed at me. Roy Kent, who’d slept with me. Roy Kent, who asked me to speak to a girls’ soccer team. Roy Kent.

Roy Kent, who I wrapped my arms around and pulled into a hug. Not giving a shit about anything outside my tiny office, I pressed my body close to his, squeezing him tight. I buried my face in his shoulder, letting my tear-stained face dampen his Greyhounds shirt. His words, the look on his face, they were exactly what I needed.

His hands hovered over my hips, not returning the embrace, and I could hear him clear his throat, the vibration rumbling against my chest. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Immediately regretting my impulsive action, I pulled back, positive my face was bright red. “Shit,” I mumbled, my mind reeling from the roller coaster of emotions I was having tonight. “Sorry, I-”

Suddenly, I was pulled back to Roy’s chest, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I swore he sighed when my arms returned to his neck, and when my head hit his chest, I could hear his heart pounding, just as hard as I knew mine was. We stood there, hugging, wrapped up in whatever little world we were in, away from the press and the rumors and the judgement.

Just me and Roy.

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