#i gave myself two migraines while making this

[yourslimeybuddy]

bonsoir i made my mascot into a cute girl

Individual images under the cut

[watchtowerindistress]

the empath and the eldritch horror (4/5) - ben hargreeves x empath!reader

Summary: Haven't you heard? It's the end of the world. And what's a small wedding among friends and family? Oh, and Ben is really bad at being a functioning human being. And why does he keep looking at you like he can't decide between kissing and killing you. Wait, what?

Word count: 4.0k

Series masterlist

Warning: drunk!ben, language, angst, fluff (we've got everything!), mention of smut (not the way you think)

Author's note: Still feeling the muse, let's go!

This series was meant to be a three-parter, but while writing this I realized the third part was just the morning after 😅 So, I'm merging everything. Watched S3 after writing this. Just noticed Sloane actually made that dress herself, oops. 🥹 Eight is wearing the dress by Zuhair Murad on the right. For these events, Eight likes to cover her skin due to her powers making her feel sensitive. I figured if Allison can go all out, so can my character. It's the end of the world, what the heck. Please tell me you guys want to read my S4 fic when I start to work on that 🥹🤗 You know how it goes, comments and reblogs feed me.

“Hey, Y/N, where have you been?” The moment you heard Luther’s voice from a distance in the lobby, you turned your head to watch your brother walk arm in arm with Sloane towards you.

You winced at the reminder of the team meeting you had deliberately neglected to show up for. “Oh, I’m sorry. Luther. My body can’t handle the weird tension with Allison and Viktor. I’m all for easing tension, but I’m getting a migraine just being there. The last time I numbed myself was not a good week for me,” you explained, while realizing you were on a rambling roll when you were done.

“I understand. Listen-” Luther started.

“Luther and I just wanted to let you know,” Sloane snuggled deeper into his side before she gingerly raised her bejeweled hand, while pressing her lips together in a nervous but excited energy. “We’re getting married.”

It took you a few seconds to understand what your eyes were seeing. Your giggling eased the tightness in their bodies. “Oh my God. Congratulations, you two.” You had to stretch a bit on your tip toes to reach Luther’s gargantuan shoulders when you tried to hug them both simultaneously.

It was moments like this when you appreciated how Luther always gave the best hugs among your siblings when he squeezed you a tad tighter than you did. Still, no broken bones, no foul.

Lingering in their embrace, you felt like you could breathe again when you said, “I’m so happy for you, Luther. You guys deserve it.”

After finally letting go, Sloane offered you a grateful smile while rubbing the inside of Luther’s arm. “Thank you. It’s tonight, at 6 in the banquet hall. Black tie-” she said, listing off a mental checklist of important information.

“Which is in a few hours, so…” Luther added, chuckling excitedly.

You smiled, letting yourself be swept away by his infectious energy. “Can’t wait. Let me grab a dress real quick,” you replied, pointing with your thumb behind you and secretly hoping there will still some shops open. Or still standing.

Luther nodded in understanding. “Right, you do that. Gotta dash to my bachelor party. Can you believe I just said that?” He already walked a few steps when he stopped in his tracks.

“Forgot something.” With a surprising motion, Luther kissed Sloane, while lowering her into a dip and with such a passion like he didn’t need air. After that public display of affection, he rushed off with an adorable wave.

“You guys are sugary sweet. I feel like I could die just watching you,” you said with a dry tone.

Sloane’s cheeks were blushing when she staggered slightly. “He’s it for me.”

With arching eyebrows, you nodded. “I can see that. Now I gotta think about where to get a dress in the apocalypse.”

While following your steps, Sloane asked, “Do you mind if I catch one with you too?”

You chuckled at their spontaneously planned wedding. “Sure. Let’s make our own bachelorette party, huh? I’ll meet you here later, okay? I’ll be quick.”

“Let’s do that.”

Quickly, you rushed towards the elevator which transported you to the floor of where your hotel room was located.

As soon as you arrived on the floor, Ben’s voice jolted you from behind. “Nice of you to finally show up.”

“Oh God, don’t do that.”

Ben walked by your side as you tried to locate your hotel room. “I told you before, you need to work on your powers.”

“Don’t worry, I felt your cloud of pure bliss when I entered the elevator.” You learned very early on that appearing omnipotent to your surroundings didn’t generally put people at ease.

Ben forced a smile on his face. “You’re hilarious. Did you hear the news already?”

“Judging by your reaction, I can guess which one you meant. Or did another happy event occur which I should know about?” At last, you arrived at your destination when you opened the door to your room and unceremoniously tried to swing it shut behind you.

Ben frowned darkly when he caught it, following after you.

Your eyes wandered over to him, perplexed by his need to continue the conversation. Ben was truly baffling sometimes for calling himself a lone wolf who didn’t need people. Dramatically, you swung your arms around to invite him to your living space.

“Why don’t you enter? Have a seat? Get a drink while you’re at it?”

Almost like accepting the invitation, the mocking undertone ignored for the moment, Ben sat on your made bed. “I mean, getting married? What the hell?”

You grabbed a few clothes from the wardrobe before going into the bathroom to change into them, yet keeping the door slightly ajar.

Feeling like he was being ignored, Ben approached the adjoining wall connecting you. “The apocalypse is right at our door and we’re celebrating a damn wedding?”

“You mean the wedding of your sister? You have to relax with that ‘I can’t stop until I’m at the top’ mindset,” you grumbled in a low voice to imitate Ben’s. “Life doesn’t have to be about missions and constant success.”

“That doesn’t sound anything like me,” Ben grunted. His focus intensified when he heard your clothes rustle as you changed into them. He furrowed his brows, like his attentions focused on what you were doing. “Where are you going?”

“Kind of in a hurry. Going dress shopping with your sister.”

With pursed lips, Ben nodded unwittingly. “Nice to know someone is so damn likable. Having a bachelorette party?”

“It’s a two-way street with us. Sloane is a sweet one and maybe I’m just fun to be around. And it’s not that much of a bachelorette party but …”

Ben felt something soothing stroking his skin.

“Why don’t you just talk to Luther?”

He snorted, crossing his arms. “What makes you think I care about a stupid bachelor party?”

You stepped out of the bathroom after you had changed into looser clothing to adapt to the Kugelblitz absorbing everything around it and with the world going literally up in flames.

“There’s no need to pretend with me, Ben. Maybe you shouldn’t spend time with the person who can feel everything you’re feeling.” You chose to remind him of that little tidbit since he seemed to want to linger within his blissful ignorance. It felt strange that Ben felt safe in confiding in you when he didn’t even like people.

“Luther is just a guy who wants to enjoy his wedding and wants to spend time with the people who care about him.” You implored vehemently, facing Ben again.

With a sarcastic air, Ben scoffed. “So sorry to disappoint that I’m nothing like your precious Ben.”

“You think you’re nothing like him? Sure, you’re way more eager to please daddy dearest. And there’s such a-” Your hands strained around his head in frustration while grunting. Sometimes, Ben’s whole aura compelled you to choke him or at least shake him profusely until some sense would barge into his head. “Dark cloud of wrath surrounding you, it’s insane.”

“You can fool anyone, your family or anyone else. That you don’t want anyone to see that you have goodness inside you. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter who you’re not.” You exhaled heavily.

“You’re Ben Hargreeves from the Sparrow Academy. Or what’s left of it. And I’m here for this Ben. I might want to get to know this guy.” You smiled endearingly, knowing that getting to a stubborn Ben Hargreeves proved harder than you’d expect.

Ben calmly stared at you. He pensively licked his lips before quietly admitting with a hoarse voice, “Stop making me like you.”

You tilted your head, smiling softly. “Why is that such a bad thing?”

“Because I don’t need-” Ben pointed between you and him. “This.”

Well, great. You were dealing with an emotionally stunted Sparrow.

“People are literally dying. Either do something about wanting to be a part of something or don’t.”

Ben shook his head, steeling himself. “Maybe you should work on those powers of yours. You think you know me so well, huh? Because you have no idea who I am.”

His solitude was all-encompassing. How alone he truly felt. After some time you could understand how it could deceive you into feeling like it was a comforting blanket.

“I know you’re the guy who needs people at his side. I know I haven’t said it before, but … I’m sorry about Fei and … you know, Christopher.” Although that grief wasn’t as profound, you could sense that on some level Ben cared. At least, Fei had something fascinating about her even if she tried to kill you with her crow powers.

At the memento of his family’s death or absorption into the black hole, Ben’s features darkened. “Don’t. Don’t pretend to care.”

“Sorry to disappoint then. This is all I can offer.” You shrugged. “Someone has to say it. You know, if someone hasn’t yet.”

Ben leaned forward until you could admire how utterly black his eyes looked. His wrath was wafting in dark smoke around his figure. “What makes you think I care about what you have to say?”

You felt so drained. “Then wh- You know what? Fine. End of the world and all that.” You twirled your finger in the air. “Do what you want.” Your hands made a cutting gesture. “I get to decide how I spend my energy. Just close the door behind you. And, just so you know, I’ll know when you steal something.”

You pointed at Ben threateningly before closing the door behind you.

Ben’s voice reverberated through the threshold. “Why would I steal your stuff?”

You leaned back in the chair, enjoying the taste of champagne in your mouth with the sensation of luxury. “You know, this is actually really nice,” you called out, trying to reach Sloane while she was changing into her dream dress.

You stretched out your legs, trying to relax. “Just us girls, having fun together. No baggage. No worries.” At the memory of impending doom, your eyes widened. “For now at least.”

Standing in the corner of the wedding store, Lila was curiously browsing through the clothes hangers and continued for you, “No annoying boyfriends.”

Through the curtain, Sloane added, “Nothing else to do but try out these gorgeous dresses.” With that, she stepped outside in a high-collared wedding dress.

Seeing her in all her glory, Lila and you hollered in delight.

“You look hot.” Lila draped her leg over your armrest to reach over and pop a small cupcake into her mouth in one go.

You merely raised your glass in silent agreement.

Sloane admired herself in the mirror while swishing with her dress. Disappointment laced her voice when she mused, “Allison could’ve been here.”

“I mean, I could’ve truly convinced her if I wanted her to and make her have fun, but that’s like half the fun.” You poured more liquid into your flute. “Allison wants to hold on to that anger of hers, fine. And just so you know,” you paused. With your glass hanging in the air, you couldn’t help saying out loud, “I’m tired. I don’t have the energy for it.”

“I could have tried my hand at that,” Lila retorted confidently.

You eyed her dubiously. “Are you sure about that?”

Lila shrugged, exhaling. “You’re probably right. Don’t think I want to get inside Allison’s head.” Her body shuddered at the thought of copying your empathetic power before her mood switched when she patted your leg. “Gotta rush to the loo real quick.”

You chuckled deeply. “Your cupcakes will still remain here,” you promised wholeheartedly.

Silently, Lila pointed a finger in warning at you. You merely observed her retreating form with knowing eyes.

Sloane continued watching herself in the mirror when she bit her lip while brushing the garment. You cleared your throat when you felt the stroking happening under the skin again.

“Something you want to ask me?” Your eyes met Sloane’s through the reflection.

“Have you talked to Ben yet?”

You chuckled at the mention of her brother, groaning loudly. “Did I tell you I’m tired already?”

Sloane smiled ruefully. “He took up all your energy?” The following heavy sigh perfectly encapsulated how it felt like to describe someone like him. “Ben, he’s, I think he has so much potential to be something more.”

Silently, you raised your eyebrows before adding, “Are you trying to tell me something I don’t already know?”

“He seems different around you.”

“You mean more intense? Are you trying rationalize him?”

Sloane chuckled while shaking her head. “I think you terrify him.”

“Thank you. That’s the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me,” you said sarcastically before emptying your glass. “You know, I’m over my bad boy phase.”

Excitedly, Sloane turned to gaze directly at you. “Wait, so you’re saying you’re into my brother?”

You shook your head vehemently at the mere insinuation while groaning. Not opening that can of worms.

“Ugh, nope, no. Not doing that. I’m not talking about your brother while you’re looking like a million bucks. Besides, today is about you.” You stood up with a coy smile, waving your hand at the mirage that was Sloane’s body.

“Damn right, it is.” Lila magically appeared to agree. “Are we coming to a decision?”

A sigh of deep regret exhaled from Sloane’s lips. “I think it’s going to be dress number one. What can I say? I liked trying on all these dresses.” She gushed while eyeing Lila and you. “And the company.”

“Aren’t you a doll,” Lila replied softly.

“Yes, Luther and you really deserve each other.”

You were wearing your long-sleeved golden dress when you entered the banquet hall. Despite the time crunch, everything was set up quite beautifully. With the lighting making everything appear almost intimately. You were getting some prom vibes with the balloons and the retro flair, but you didn’t feel like judging them for the quick setting up.

Luther joined you near the entrance, smiling warmly. “Fashionably late?”

You shrugged shyly. “As always.”

“How are you feeling?” Like when you were still kids, Luther patted your hair soothingly, making you feel all warm inside. Knowing how overwhelmed you could get with big events, or as big as they could get with the Kugelblitz absorbing people.

“Don’t worry, I’d prefer a wedding over a funeral.” You smiled warmly, staring up at him with pride. “Look at you, big guy. Can’t believe you’re getting hitched,” you said, playfully nudging his shoulder with your knuckles.

You felt the stirring sensation again. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Ben standing in the distance with Allison, sending you an inscrutable expression. Not exactly a scowl on his face, but still something dark remained while he was leaning with his crossed arms against the wall.

Luther’s positive energy pulled you back. He shared a beaming smile at you. “It’s really happening, huh,” he mused, burying his gloved hands in his trouser pockets. “Sloane told me you went dress shopping with her. I really appreciate you taking the time to get to know her.”

“Well, kinda already did that almost a week ago.” After seeing Luther’s blank expression, you continued, “When we were abducted?”

“Right. Feels so long ago.”

“At least our little get-together with Sloane was kinda fun. A small reprieve from the chaotic mess of everything.”

Luther nodded. “I feel you.” He was getting all jittery before he even said the next part. “God, I can’t wait to be married. I’ll see you outside.”

After a very emotional wedding ceremony—also because of Klaus’ flamboyant theatrics—Luther and Sloane were finally husband and wife. Watching them bask in their wedding dance was slowly getting to your sentimental vibes, you realized. Wanting them to have their moment, you joined the table of Klaus and Ben with your cocktail.

“… ridiculously easy to love,” Klaus finished with a fond presence.

“Am I interrupting a heartfelt moment?” You softly asked before filling the seat at Klaus’ side and taking a hearty gulp.

“Beautiful Y/N, join us! We’re reminiscing.” Klaus gushed with absolute joy, throwing his arms around your middle. With a quiet murmur, he whispered to himself, “I think that’s the word. Oh, dad’s holding a speech.” Klaus jumped from his seat.

“Did you know our Y/N loves seafood?” Klaus whispered like he was sharing a secret with Ben. His gaze switched over to yours. “Be a dear and keep sullen Ben company,” he said before sauntering away without a care in the world.

Blinking slowly, Ben’s words were uttered just as slowly. Like choosing them carefully. “Your dress is really … golden.”

“Wow.” You nodded to yourself, with a smile. “And you’re very drunk.”

Ben’s gaze wandered around. “Everyone’s leaving. Even Sloane prefers that big walking ape.”

“She’s not leaving. Your sister just found something else she liked more.”

“You mean liked doing more,” Ben mumbled tauntingly.

You had to restrain from barfing at the idea of your brother having sex. As much as a drunk Ben was kinda hilarious. “Oh, that’s gross, Ben,” you said, trying to stop yourself from laughing.

A solemn sigh exhaled from your lips. “You didn’t ask Luther, did you?” You asked knowingly.

Ben’s shoulders almost appeared too heavy for him to lift when he shrugged them carelessly. “I don’t get an invite and dad just gets to show up to this wedding. What does it matter?”

Ben mindlessly fiddled with the small straw in his drink. The speeches were over for now and people started mingling on the dance floor.

“I think it does to you. How people see you. To be liked. Makes you endearing in a way. We all just want to be accepted for who we are.”

Ben supported his chin with his hand in a casual manner, or at least tried to, when he missed it by a few inches. Instead, he held up the side of his head with his whole palm while observing you through bleary eyes.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He mumbled quietly.

It was moments like these when Ben revealed stuff like this which broke your heart. “Are you not used to this experience?”

“I don’t understand you,” he mumbled. “Sometimes you make it really hard not to like you.”

Inwardly, you felt bliss fill you up at the unexpected compliment coming from someone like him. Even if that little confession delighted you, your concern for his inebriated state was higher.

“Easy there, buckaroo. Maybe you should have more shrimps. Or at least some bread,” you advised, sliding over a glass filled with grissini. “Someone is quite a talker when they’re drunk, huh?”

“Someone cares about my well-being.” With a sing-song voice, Ben taunted and smirked cheekily.

You smiled wistfully, almost bittersweetly. “You know what I think?” You paused, intuitively envisioning a possible future scenario. “I tell you how tonight’s gonna go down. You’ll have fun, lose all your inhibitions. Because you didn’t have to try so hard to be number one. Or be the best at everything.”

Speaking slowly, you added, “Tomorrow, you’re going to wake up, with all your guards up again. No longer chummy with the people around you. And a part of you is going to regret ever being this real version of yourself. All adorable and sweet.”

Ben chuckled suavely. “You calling me sweet? You know what I think?” He took up the empty seat of Klaus, almost toppling over with the effort. “You’re secretly into me.”

You rolled your eyes at Ben’s ability to feed his own ego. With a satisfied smile, you turned it back on him. “And you actually like that thought.”

“Oh, you think you’re so smart.”

“Whoa, déjà vu.”

“Okay, then tell me what I want.” Ben smirked confidently, waving to himself.

“It’s been a long time since someone dared me for a party favor.” Trying to keep him in suspense for a bit longer, you bit your lip and tilted your head in mock speculation. But then you whispered conspiratorially, “You want me to dance with you, Ben Hargreeves.”

Blowing air through his mouth, Ben groaned. “That’s what you think? Is this how you get guys—with that little technique?” He twirled his finger in your direction.

You arched your eyebrows. “Then tell me I’m wrong.”

He snorted. “I’m not falling for that trick.”

“Maybe. But now I’m in your head, Hargreeves,” you sang tauntingly before laughter sprang free. “Come on, it’s just one night to let loose.”

You stood up, beckoning him closer while walking backwards towards the dance floor. “I promise, tomorrow you can pretend to be the asshole again. Just have some fun for a night.”

“We can’t all be Little Miss Sunshine.”

You snorted loudly at that description. If anything, as an Empath, you were almost an antithesis to the preconceived notion of an all-caring and always-happy disposition.

“Only you would think that. Come on, Benny-boo. Show me those dance moves of yours.”

“You’re a bad influence,” he mumbled before he gobbled down another shrimp. Ben reached for you and energetically spun you in a circle until your fingers held onto his chest for stability.

“Stop calling me by that name,” he whispered, only for your ears to hear.

You let go of Ben, sending him a smoldering gaze over your shoulder. “Why don’t you make me?” You mocked, strolling over to the bride to dance with her and watched as he joined the fray reluctantly, but no less swayed.

“You owe me,” he mouthed.

In the end, you chose to ignore his little warning by teasingly shrugging your shoulders. “I can’t hear you.”

One hangover later … for Ben

“Did someone ever tell you, you look cute when you’re trying to fall asleep in an upright position?”

You watched in fascination how your words jolted Ben awake while he was leaning against the elevator wall, with his shirt pulled halfway down his muscled torso.

“Excellent workout routine, by the way.” You felt obliged to mention.

Ben grunted, rubbing his cheeks to awaken his senses even more. At the hint, he pulled his shirt down the rest of the way. “Why is Karma coming after me so hard?”

You stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button for the lobby for show, since Ben didn’t even select a button when he entered.

“It’s not Karma, Ben. It’s a literal hangover.”

Feeling a heated stare linger on you, your eyes met Ben’s whose blinking eyes tried to focus on you. With his arms crossed, his shoulder leaned against the other wall. “Then why do you look so pretty?”

You teasingly nudged his shoulder. “Aww, Ben Hargreeves, what a charmer. My body works in mysterious ways.”

Comfortable silence hung in the air the longer the elevator traveled to its intended destination.

“You know, your brother is a dick.” Finally, Ben decided to end the quiet.

You pursed your lips when several people who fitted that description entered your mind. Especially with a wedding in the past and many lowered inhibitions.

“Uh… which one are we talking about? You’re checking a lot of boxes right now.”

“Klaus,” Ben enunciated with every fiber of his being.

You nodded, comprehending their cautious bond. During the previous night, Klaus and Ben proved to be the tightest of bosom buddies. The fallout was unfortunate. Ben didn’t have a lot of people in his life. Most of your family would rather label him as Not-Ben in their heads instead of getting to know him as his own person.

So, yes, your family could be dicks sometimes.

“Well, he’s trying. The former Ben and him were like the closest for years.” You recalled fondly. Deciding to cheer Ben up a bit, you remarked playfully, “Judging by last night, you two were up to some wild shenanigans.”

Ben reached for your arm. “Wait. What happened last night?”

Chuckling, you shook your head. Almost impressed with last night’s Ben. “You were something else last night. I mean, you were just showing off with your tentacles. They were like really touch-starved. How are they even feeling after that spectacle?”

“Come again?”

The doors opened before you could divulge more. “Uh, you might want to check your shirt again. It’s still backwards. See you at the breakfast buffet.”

“This conversation isn’t over.” Ben exclaimed with great ardor before the doors shut again.

Tagging: @cherryinsalemverse @mellowstatesmanhandsempath @ravenmoore14 @blackmagicwoman @lelaamela

[ladykailitha]

Well Met By Moonlight Part 10

Hello! If you haven't seen it yet, I've got a set schedule for what story posts on what days now (as seen here) and this one as well as Icarus, Batshit Soulmates, and Never Hold Back Your Step... will still be posting just on rotation until I can finish some of my WIPs. (I may be stretching myself a bit thin having six going at the same time.)

In this chapter Steve gets a migraine dealing with his pack, Eddie and Wayne try to get a little deeper into the mystery of the town, and Robin has a big decision to make.

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @redfreckledwolf @emly03 @itsall-taken

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

****

While things were getting better outside the pack, things weren’t going as well inside the pack.

Someone was riling up the older pack members to fight Steve on every decision.

“Joyce,” Steve growled warningly. “I won’t tell you again. I’m not taking Nancy as bondmate. Nor do you want me to. Not unless your son has broken up with her recently. So recently I don’t know about it.”

Joyce rolled her eyes. “Of course not. But in the history of this pack, the alpha female has always been bonded to to the alpha male. It’s tradition.”

“Which pack are we talking about?” Steve snarled. “The one where Hopper was alpha and didn’t notice two families being abused by their father because he was drunk off his ass all the time? Or are we talking about the one that threatened to rape and kill my mother for accidentally walking into compound as a mortal woman and was only saved by Wayne Munson passing by? Or the one where Clarence Harrington founded the pack back in the 1800s?”

Joyce took a step back in the face of his rage.

“Maybe it’s time to see traditions aren’t working out for the pack and to move forward,” Steve said baring his teeth.

She looked him square in the eye, daring him to make a move.

“Submit,” he snarled, using his alpha voice. “Or be banished for this lack of respect you have shown me since I became alpha.”

There had been pack members milling around when they started arguing and more had gathered.

They all gasped when Steve threatened banishment.

“Do. You. Submit?”

She gulped and lowered her head for the first time in his presence. She kept her eyes on the ground and murmured, “Yes, alpha.”

He turned to the gathered pack. “Anyone who doesn’t respect my authority as alpha is free to go, no judgment. But I will not stand for willful and flagrant disobedience just because the person is older than me. Do I make myself clear?”

The assembled all nodded, making noises of affirmation.

“Good,” he said and then waved his arm. “Now scram!”

They all fled including Joyce.

Jonathan came up to him after everyone else had gone.

“You going to question my authority, too?” Steve snapped, a migraine starting pulse behind his eyes.

The other boy shook his head. “Nah, man. I know you’re cool. It’s just hard on my mom because Hopper would still be alpha if he hadn’t been kidnapped and she doesn’t know what to do with you being alpha so young.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “Yeah, it’s not normal, but we have to change if we are to survive. The world is moving fast. Faster than anything this pack has ever dealt with and if we don’t move with it, it will kill us.”

Jonathan nodded. “I’ll talk to her. See if I can’t get her to be at least not as antagonistic toward you. Because since you’ve become alpha things are really starting to change around here, for the better, too. She just needs to acknowledge that.”

Steve clapped Jonathan on the shoulder. “Thanks, man. Because you can get her to calm down...”

“Then Hop will do the same...” Jonathan continued.

“And hopefully Murray will follow after,” Steve finished. “And while that won’t miraculously fix all the packs problems...”

“It make it easier for to focus on the things that still need fixing.”

He nodded. “Right in one.”

Jonathan gave his shoulder a squeeze and then walked away.

****

Steve lay on his bed as Robin stroked his hair gently.

“All I’m saying is that a lot problems would be solved if you became pack,” Steve mumbled into her side.

His migraine had taken control of his body and he was in agony. No one was sure why things like headaches, period cramps, and cancer were immune to the werewolf’s ability to super heal, but it really sucked that there were.

“And a whole lot more problems that would crop up if I did,” she reminded him.

He sighed deeply. At the moment he didn’t care about the problems, only the solutions and he told her so.

Robin sighed. “I want to. But I don’t want to alienate my family if I do, you know?”

Steve struggled to sit up. Robin protested his moving but was helpless to stop the much stronger alpha.

He tucked his knees under him and took her hands gently in hers. “This decision is only one you can make. But believe me when I say you have to make it for you. Not me, not your parents or friends. Not even that pretty siren girl you like. You. What do you want to do?”

Robin hung her head. “Can I think about it?”

He squeezed her hands. “Of course you can. I can’t do anything until you’re eighteen anyway and that’s a few months away. But I want you to make a choice that’s best for you.”

She nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

****

It wasn’t like Gareth straight up laughed in Eddie’s face when he asked about moon days. But it was a near thing.

“I’m a gwyllgi,” he said. He pronounced it like g-with-gee. “It’s like the English Black Dogs, only cooler. I can transform at anytime or place, but my family tends to be groundskeepers for cemeteries and graveyards.”

He shook his head. “All these years playing together in a band and you never knew I was a supe.”

Jeff scoffed. “In all fairness, he was the only human for a number of those years.”

“That’s true,” Brian agreed, “and it’s not like gwyllgi have a scent to them the way werewolves do. Cut him some slack.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side as he scented the air. “I don’t think that’s quite true.”

The three other boys stood stock still as Jeff and Brian sniffed.

Jeff looked to Eddie. “Is that the smell of freshly overturned soil?”

Brian sniffed a little longer. “A bit of death, too.”

Gareth grinned, jumping up and down. “I was wondering when you guys were going to figure it out.”

They all turned to him and cocked their heads.

“Graveyards. You smell like a graveyard!” Brian said. “That’s I was having trouble placing it. Sirens bury their dead at sea.”

Gareth shuddered. “Sirens are weird.”

“How are you friends with two vampires?” Eddie asked. “Aren’t gwyllgi supposed to protect graveyards from entities like Jeff and me?”

Gareth tilted his head to the side and Eddie was struck by how dog-like his friend was.

He shrugged. “My parents vetted all of you before I was allowed to hang out with you guys. If my parents think you guys are cool, what the fuck do I care what you eat?”

Jeff and Eddie looked at each other and huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said ruffling Gareth’s hair. “Will you take notes during the next moon day and find out what they are teaching kids these days? Because Steve is really worried. Crosses and werewolves have never been a thing.”

Gareth nodded solemnly. “Yeah, even my parents are worried about what that might mean for the gwyllgi. They might decide we’re werewolves and come after us next.”

Eddie winced. That was a real possibility that he really didn’t want to think of right then. But he filed the thought away to talk to Wayne and Steve about later.

“What about you, Bri?” Jeff asked. “You hear anything in your neck of the woods?”

Brian shrugged. “People don’t like being friends with sirens so we tend to be shunned when they know what we are. It’s why I didn’t tell you guys for years.”

“It’s only when you sing though, right?” Eddie asked. “The compelling people to do shit, right?”

Brian shrugged again, fiddling with the tuning pegs on his base. “All sorts of rules to, too. But they don’t care. They think just talking to me will force them to do stuff.”

Eddie frowned. He knew he was new to the supernatural world being a bitten vampire, but there was so much bullshit that he wasn’t sure he could navigate through all of it.

“Well, siren or no,” he said fiercely. “You’re our friend and if anyone gives you hell, just point them me and Jeffey’s direction.”

Brian nodded still looking at the floor. All three other boys came over and hugged him.

“Thanks, guys.”

****

Wayne watched as Jason and Patrick toiled in the midday sun. The work was hard and more than a little tedious, but if they were working, they didn’t have the energy to cause trouble.

Patrick was already starting to shift his beliefs just from talking to Wayne and listening to his stories about fighting for the Union in the Civil War, about this town’s heritage.

Jason, he knew was going to be a tougher nut to crack. Jason was far too used to being spoiled and given everything he wanted when he wanted it to bend to Wayne’s will easily.

But Wayne had his ways and the first thing he needed to do was earn the boy’s trust.

“Did they kick you two off the team?” he rumbled.

Both boys looked up at him and then each other. They stopped what they were doing and leaned on their shovels.

Patrick snorted disdainfully. “They probably should have, but that would have meant removing their entire starting line and Principal Higgins wasn’t about to do that.”

“I got removed from being captain, though,” Jason said bitterly. He kicked at clod of dirt viciously with his foot to show his frustration.

“Who’s the new captain?” Wayne asked gently.

“Dirk Garroway,” Patrick said, glancing over at Jason. “He’s the younger brother of a former member of the team. A lot of the team isn’t happy about it.”

“That’s because he’s afraid of his own fucking shadow,” Jason sneered.

Patrick hid his wince well from Jason, but Wayne noticed nonetheless. “He’s always playing it safe. He doesn’t take risks. Which is great if you want a middle of the road team, but not one that’s going to win championships.”

“That’s certainly true,” Wayne said warmly. “Tell me what happened in the most recent game.”

Jason sneered. “Why would you care?”

Patrick looked panicked. He didn’t want to antagonize Wayne and was always afraid that if Jason mouthed off then Patrick would get the blow back.

“I’ve seen the rise of many a sport here in this country,” Wayne said with a smile. “But basketball and baseball are my favorites.”

That brought Jason up short. He straightened his spine and looked at Wayne with interest. “So you seen all the greats?”

Gotcha! Wayne thought with a grin.

“Sure have seen quite a few of them at any rate,” Wayne said sagely. “Who are your favorites?”

Jason launched into his inspirations and what his aspirations had been before he made the stupidest mistake of his life.

Wayne looked over at Patrick and winked. The other boy blushed, but was starting to finally relax.

It would take some time, but it was now only a matter of how long before Wayne got his answers on why they thought killing the Harrington Pack alpha would solve this town’s woes.

Because Steve was right.

There was something rotten in this town just below the surface. Below what he could see.

And wasn’t that just a terrifying thought.

****

Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @bookbinderbitch @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @tinyplanet95 @littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy @scheodingers-muppet @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @goosesister @she-collects-smut @irregular-child @y4r3luv

[steviewashere]

🪱🪱Worm Wednesday!!!!!🪱🪱

I was tagged by the lovely @hotluncheddie! Hello, I'm sorry for the rambling mess this is going to be. But I know I missed this like two weeks ago, so bear with me.

Okay, I'm going to try and be normal here. I have, honestly, so many worms in my brain. They're dancing and stomping and I'm just going fucking nuts with how much is in my brain at the moment. And also I took excedrin this morning for my migraine and that had caffeine in it and it's more caffeine than I would normally have—anyway.

Y'all already know one of my brain worms, the whole omega verse sensitive nips omega Steve thing. Which, I will plug the post here because I don't have the energy (yes, I do, but I don't want to echo myself) to share all the craziness about that in one post.

I'm also thinking about young Steve Harrington, which is kudos to this post and lots of people's tweets over on the twitter. I won't go into it, same reasons as the omega verse thing so just...again, bear with me.

But! But the actual brain worms I'm having currently, in this very moment, also have to do with another post I made on here. I want to go more in-depth with, though. So, some days ago, I came across an Instagram Reel that was a clip from the YouTube video interview between Jon Bernthal and Dungeon Master Deborah Ann Woll.

So, brief brief summary of this video is basically: Jon Bernthal says that he wants to play D&D, Deborah Ann Woll then gives him a scenario of walking through the woods and while he's walking he hears snap of twigs, and then she basically prompts him with "What do you do?" And he responds, now I can't remember exactly what he says, but I believe it had something to do with investigating the source of the snapped twigs.

Anyway, the video is excellent and you all should check it out. She basically explains D&D in a way that would make sense to anybody, in the matters of asking a player or a potential player what they'd do in certain scenarios, then bringing in the "rougher" elements such as the History checks or Perception checks in the game.

And I want to write something along the lines of Steve approaching Eddie about D&D. Maybe he wants to play because Dustin keeps bugging him about it, but he's too nervous to accept. Maybe he just wants to know what it's like. Maybe he even wants to be a substitute player one of these days just in case somebody can't show up. Something, y'know, where he's approaching Eddie. But he's really, really confused about where to even begin. He's got a character sheet, he's looking at the manuals loaned to him or he even bought himself, he's looking at all these stats and all these options and he just doesn't know where to begin.

Also, brief intervene here, I would be basing this off of 5e rules because that's what I play and frequently toy with. So...don't be mad at me if I get something "inaccurate for the time". I, first of all, honestly don't care. And second, I was not alive in like 1977 when the game first came out. And there's nobody in my life who played it then or possibly has played it ever outside of 5e. Moving on.

So, he tries to explain his character sheet to Eddie, obviously getting a bit overwhelmed in the process. But Eddie stops him. Says something like, "Hold on, okay? Let's just take a baby step here. I'm going to give you a scenario and then I want you to tell me what you'd do."

And he lays out that same, or even just something similar, to what Deborah Ann Woll gave. (I'm going to base this off of the video. Very original, I am.) So it's something like:

"Okay, you've got a small dagger attached to your belt, it's concealed within a hilt. And on your back, there's a bow and a quiver—or a pouch—of arrows. You're walking through the woods. It's dark, heavy clouds hanging overhead, moon obstructed, you can barely see your surroundings. There's leaves under your feet, gravel, sticks. But then, before you can step your foot down next, something crunches in the distance on your left. What do you do?"

There's a pause. A long moment where Steve is considering his options.

"It's a far away sound, right?" Steve checks and Eddie nods. There's a little hmph from Steve as he continues to think. "Can I tell how far away it is? Is there a way to distinct the length of it?"

Eddie maybe smirks, eyes already glowing. "Give a perception check." And at Steve's befuddled expression, leaning in and brows furrowed, Eddie continues on. "So, you're going to roll one of those dice that you always see the kids with. The D20, that's the one you'd use right now. 20 is the highest you can get"—

"The best I can get. And 1 is obviously the lowest, so the worst."

"Right! So...let's say you were to pick up a D20 right now and roll it. You get a...a fourteen. And your perception, one of those skills on the top of your paper"—and Eddie would grab Steve's character sheet, to point out the number he already placed there—"this one right here. And on your paper, it looks to be pretty high. A sixteen is what you have. So...I'm going to ask you to add three more to your dice roll."

Steve squints at the paper. He doesn't take long to do the math, muttering a little under his breath. "Okay...I'd have a seventeen for my perception check." And he looks up to Eddie for confirmation, in which he gets. "And if it's possible out of twenty...that means I can probably figure it out well, right?"

Eddie nods with a smug hum. "You're already a natural." He leans back a little from Steve. Eyes away in thought. Goes on, "So, I'll know right away, based on that number you give me that you're extremely perceptive. I tell you...okay, the sound you hear is roughly ten feet away on your left."

"That's really close," Steve murmurs. "I think I'll...I'll ready that bow on my back. Take it off, grab for one of my arrows. Poise it."

"Mmm...And as soon as you get your bow in the right position, you begin to make out what seems like a pair of eyes. From the darkness between the trees, those eyes emerge closer and closer, revealing the large figure of a sixteen foot owlbear. Its feathers are spread wide, splaying defensively. Eyes glowing, it seems, yellow and bright. The body girth of a bear, but the head and mannerisms of an owl. It trills and squawks in your face. What do you do?"

Anyway, it would go from there. Tried to figure out a monster that wasn't an owlbear because that's what was used in the video. But uh...my brain is not being original right now, so that's basically the whole example from the video. But I just adore that video so much, the simple, yet impactful way she taught the basics. And I think it could translate so well to Eddie and Steve messing with D&D together.

Sorry for a long ass post lmao

Tagging (no pressure): @puppy-steve @scoops-aboy86 @ataliagold @marvel-ous-m @pearynice

@wheneverfeasible @rogueddie @sidekick-hero

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

Mount Justice

Featuring West Virginia Gov. Jim Justice

I'm a 20 year old sophmore at West Virginia University when I heard there was an opening for aide at the governor's office. I immediately became interested as I wanted a career in politics. I signed up for the position and had an appointment for an interview days later. I entered the governor's office and his receptionist Carry, greeted me and told me to have a seat while she grabbed the doctor. Apparently, the assitant doing the hiring went home early due to a migraine and Gov. Jim Justice will be doing the interveiw himself. Now I was even more nervous as I waited to be called into his office.

Finally, after 10 minutes, his secretary escorted me into his office. I was surprised at how big he was as he stood. At 6'7" and nearing 400lbs., Justice was a big fucking bear of a man who towered over me. I’ll admit, I was a little intimidated by the sheer size of him with myself being only 5'8", 165lbs. He was wearing a suit coat, a button up shirt, actually very distinguished and mature looking.

He shook my hand and said thanks for coming and asked me to take a seat as he sat down on a sturdy stool. At Justice’s side was his grumpy-looking English bulldog, Babydog, who sat beside the governor in a cushioned dog seat.

Gov. Justice reminded me that I was his last interview and not to worry as he was going to give me equal time to qualify for the position. It started with small talk of my school year and what I got out of it and my future for college etc. While we talked, I gave him a look over. Justice was kinda “folksy,” calling himself a frog who’s proud of his pond. Not the most handsomest guy, but I'd still love to fuck around with him for a weekend. And for some reason with his dog, Babydog watching.

Gov. Justice mentioned he was down to 3 candidates who he was considering, I begged for the job telling him I'd do what it took to get the position. He asked me what I’d do the other two couldn’t do for me. Somehow or another I blurted out "I'll blow you."

"What?" Gov. Justice asked with a look of amazement.

I was silent and just looked at him waiting for him to say something else as he had his internal struggle. I knew Justice has well-documented issues with mobility owing to his weight and height, and recently underwent a gallbladder removal surgery. So he probably hasn't had sex in at least a month or more. So I chose to take things further, getting up and walking over to him as he sat there, not knowing what to do next.

"Gov. Justice, I'm willing to work long and tirelessly at ANYTHING you put in front of me." I said, watching carefully when I emphasized anything and saw all I needed to see.

His face turned red and just shook his head as if there was nothing I could do. A feral smile arose internally. My cock hardened at the thought of him and I having sex on the desk as I continued with my proposal.

"How long has it been since you had your cock sucked?" He froze at the question, calculating since his last sexual encounter no doubt.

"Gov. Justice… Does your wife she suck your cock every night and morning? Does she make you feel good?" I asked, noticing the patch of gray hair sticking out of the top of his light-blue knit shirt before fixing the collar of his shirt.

I slowly shook his head no. I smiled meekly, putting my hands on his massive thighs before I knelt in front of him. Licking my lips, I said, "Gov. Justice, can you give me just one chance to prove myself."

With his lips quivering, he nodded yes as I slid my hands up and down his legs. Thick legs have always been a turn on for me as I let my hands explore his beautiful legs.

Then I put on my most sincere face and thanked him while I unbuckled his belt so I could undo his pants. Gov. Justice stood up a bit so I could undo his slacks. I slid them down and was rewarded with a pretty decent cock and balls. It was about 6 inches, thick, veiny and most importantly, hard. I licked from the bottom of his shaft to the tip as he shuddered in pleasure. I took in his musky smell and it felt so erotic as I flicked the head of his prick, rolling his balls over in my palm. My tongue slid down the side of his cock and back up again, licking him with vigour as I felt my cock flutter uncomfortably in my jeans. I reached down and unzipped them, allowing my prick to fall out and leak precum onto the floor.

I grabbed the base of his cock and wrapped my lips around it, my tongue thrust against the shaft I swallowed half of his manhood and went to work. I could feel the veins on his cock as my lips glided up and down his shaft as his nuts bounced invitingly against my chin. I reached up and tugged at his nuts, my fingers curled around them and he moaned with satisfaction.

"Damn! You're good." The 72-year-old exclaimed as I deep throated his thick dick.

Just then, I felt his big hand grab my head and press it down, looking up with my mouth full of juicy cock, I saw his glazed over eyes and it told me everything I needed to know. I had him right where I wanted him as I continued my assault on his cock. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Babydog. I thought it was funny that his dog was watchuing us. Then suddenly all thoughts of the dog watching fled my mind as Gov. Justice as the old man leaned back on his stool and moaned.

"Wait… Suck my balls." The governor said as he suddenly pulled back causing his dick to slip out of my mouth with a pop.

"Suck them. I try to get my wife to suck my balls, but she won't." Gov. Justice said as he grabbed me behind the head and pulled my face back to his crotch.

I quickly took one of his hairy balls in my mouth and sucked gently on it, inducing a bear-like moan from him. Sucking harder, he cried out, started shaking all over as he let go of my head and wrapped his hand around his wet cock, stroking generously. I worked him into a frenzy, moving back and forth from one of his hairy balls to the other.

After a minute or two, he stopped again and grabbed me by the back of my hair and pulled me back onto his cock. I was lost as he started using profanity tell me harshly to suck his cock and get a drink off his hose. He was having fun with me, and I was loving every minute. I sucked deep and hard as well as soft and slow making this cock last, he had no problem as he was moving his hips in and out using my face to fuck as he pleased.

“Damn, this is hot!” Gov. Justice called out excitedly as he fucked my mouth faster and faster. “Get ready. I’m cumming! Damn! I’m cumming!”

Suddenly, Gov. Justice pulled his dick out of my mouth and shot his huge load onto my face as he held my head in front of his squirting dick. Looking down with approval as he squeezed the shaft to get another drop of his cum out before flopping his cock on my tongue. Then as he shook the last drops of cum from the piss hole of his dick, I stood up as my long fat dick sprung up and stood straight out from my body. It was so hard it was throbbing.

The old man's eyes got big as he glanced down at my long fat dick and then back to his and whistled. I smiled. I always like to surprise people with the size of my dick. Seems people always expected a guy like me to have a little cock. Well, I had a monster dick. Feeling obligated, Gov. Justice surprised me by reaching down and grabbing hold of my dick. Then the old man surprised me by reaching out and closing his hand around my rock hard dick. Now that was a special moment. The old man’s callused hand felt wonderful wrapped around my dick.

"Damn! What a cock! Shit, I bet my wife couldn't take that thing. GOD! Is it thick." Gov. Justice called out excitedly as he pumped his hand back and forth over the head of my dick before adding, "Hell, makes mine look small."

"GOD! I would love to have a dick the size of yours." He said looking into my eyes, pounding away at my engorged young dick.

Feeling his rough, bear-like paws on my cock was amazing as jacked it faster and faster. Just seeing his hair arm moving back and forth as he jacked me, filled me with such excitement that I quickly shot off in the governor's hand. When I finish cuming, Gov. Justice held his cum laden hand to my lips for me to lick my own cum. I did it. When he was finished, he leaned over until his face was almost touching mine and asked me when I wanted to start.

I replied "Start what?"

[fyeahaudiodrama]

I have three modes of audio drama completion.

The first is where I listen to a first episode, like it well enough, and then listen to the rest at a metered pace across a few weeks or months, depending on the size of the back catalogue.

The second is where I listen to a first episode, get immediately, ravenously obsessed and consume the whole show within 1-2 days.

The third is where I start listening to a first episode. It doesn’t really stick. I might try the second episode. I might not even finish the first. I move on, listen to something else. I’m reminded of the show again - either by fans of the show itself or by the show’s own social media presence, because even if I didn’t get into the show itself, it’s still nice to keep up with some accounts. I give the show another shot. Start episode one again. Repeat the cycle. Maybe I get a few more episodes in because I’m making a concerted effort now, but still, it doesn’t stick. When I listen to other new episodes, I don���t feel drawn back to this one. I leave episodes downloaded but unlistened for a while as a reminder to myself. I might delete it from my podcatcher altogether if I go long enough without being drawn back to it. I tell myself I gave it a shot, but I’m not obligated to listen to every show, and some just aren’t for me. Months pass. I’m reminded of the show again. I’m out of in-season episodes for my favorites. I have a migraine, or I’m tired, or I just don’t want to deal with jumping from show to show to show for something to listen to while I work. I re-subscribe to this show. Download a handful of episodes. I press play without expectations and get to work. I listen to two years’ backlogs in a day and am left checking the release schedule and scratching at the creator’s door.

Sometimes, it just takes a while to click.

[agendabymooner]

colour me your colour || toto w. x ofc (3)

Summary: Tilly Marie nearly loses faith in her passion as she refuses to listen to everyone who told her to quit. Everyone but one. And it’s the man she met years ago at a racing event she didn’t want to attend. Who would have thought that her father’s partial ownership of three brands could take her to the zone of Mercedes and meet the love of her life?

Chapter Summary: Tilly finds herself flirting with Toto on the job. Unfortunately, so did Daniel and Lewis. The two drivers decided to put this information to use by making fun of their own bosses. Everyone's suddenly catching on to the dynamic of the two.

Content warning: Age gap, brief use of explicit language, discusses the 2014 austrian gp, flirtatious banter, mutual pining kind of romance, platonic relationship with Lewis Hamilton and Daniel Ricciardo, fictional family and business involved (Hearth family and Hearth Automotives Group). NO PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVED SORRY

Note: Thank you all so much for the 30 followers! I hope my insanity entertained you (affectionate) and I'll try my best to continue on with it. This is the shortest one, I think. Let me know what you think! Enjoy xx

masterlist

iii. juliet's hit list

I will make a hit list, and Christian Horner will be at the top of it. 

While he’s an amazing and competent team principal, the absolute fool decided to deter that statement when he pulled Daniel out of the last-minute interview. He tried to explain what happened, he really did, but it would have been nicer if he paused for a second instead of pulling the Australian from the scene while his mouth was saying fuck all. Now, the Red Bull seat’s empty; the only thing that’s being filled is my temper. 

Sebastian Vettel’s time for media is already over, and as much as I would like to pull him back once more, it is better to leave him resting. Or rather, it’s best to leave him on his free practice. It turns out engines can fuck up your game one way or another. Christian Horner’s outburst post-Austrian race showed it, and it’s not anything that I can blame on the team principal.

Still, Daniel is absent right now, so I want to strangle Horner with my two hands. 

Horner must have superb hearing because when the string of curse words began to slip out of my mouth, he returned with Daniel jogging behind him.

Horner acts before I can open my mouth by shooing Daniel off to his seat in front of the waiting cameras with Lewis, Kimi, Jenson and Fernando. 

Feeling slightly relieved, I turn around to express my irritation toward Christian, zeroing in on him like he’s a culprit. He looks guilty for a second and tells me, “Minor problem with his car.”

“Is it something to be solved with his… I dunno, the engineers? Before you know… you approach him before his interview?” I point out, watching as he sighs exasperatedly. Surprisingly, he does not say anything besides a mutter of apology as he walks away. I call him quietly and say, “Team principals interview in an hour, Christian.”

He waves it off and continues to walk away. If this man is the same man my father works with, I understand why he gave me this job. He’s a headache.

From what I know, I’m not the only one to suffer from him. I did not think of it until I felt a towering figure next to me. He completely diverts my attention from my newfound migraine by standing beside me. My eyes which were once glaring at Christian, softened at the sight of Toto Wolff. 

“Mr. Wolff–” my mouth shuts at the frown that quickly appears on his face as I correct myself, “Toto.”

“Tilly, it is great to see you here,” he greets me.

We can’t speak aloud as the drivers are already answering questions. But the exchanges of smiles and the question, “How are you handling the practice day?” has taken our attention away from our drivers, our conversation turning into a series of questions about… things in general. 

I can’t remember each question, but with each answer he provides, my brain takes them in.

“You’ve mentioned you live in the country,” he says as I nod in confirmation. He asks, “How far of a trip did you make just to get here?”

I’m unsure if my answer will put me on a list of “fucking idiots who does not know how to control their mouths,” but I hear myself say, “Don’t tell me you want to get on my bed that quickly.” 

The slap of my hand catches the attention of the people near us–it’s either that or the gasp that did it. Either way, I cannot believe I’m this stupid to embarrass myself in front of… Toto?

I certainly did not embarrass myself, I tell myself while I watch Toto’s face turn red and chuckle. He laughs at it like it’s funny. Like he hadn’t expected me to say such things because of how flustered I was during my last encounter with him. 

But it isn’t just his face that caught my attention. The softness of his laugh almost had me kneeling in front of god. The last time I saw him at that 24-hour race in Dubai reminded me so much of how he is now, except more mature. He aged. But I’ll be damned if I don’t admit that he aged like wine. 

But as I’m thinking of Dubai, I suddenly ask myself: Did he remember me, too? 

As always, his voice diverts my attention from my doubts and insanity back to reality. I look up to see the redness of his face fading, his smile expressing nothing but amusement as he says, “I’m more of an old-fashioned kind, Tilly.”

“Is that right?” I find myself saying. Oh great, more ways to embarrass yourself. 

“I suppose,” he teases, “I like to woo the lady first. I don’t mind how long it’ll take me to get there, but waiting would be worth it.”

Our banter (do I even call it that?) is interrupted by the realization that we’re still in the media pit and that the drivers are already thanking the journalists and photographers after their interviews.

I cannot say any more because Daniel’s already on his way to approach me with a call, “Lady Boss!”

I turn to face him, his cheeky grin infectious as he asks, “How did you like my Aussie charm?”

Shit. I didn’t even watch him fully. I was busy drooling over–

What kind of lie would I make up? Wait, no–

“I didn’t know Aussies are charming, Daniel,” I jest, laughing while I berate myself for sounding a little nervous. “Brits are lovelier, you know?”

“Austrians do it best, right, boss?” I can hear Lewis teasing his team principal. I turn around, watching as Lewis snickers at his boss’ silence. Lewis wags his brows at me before he approaches and wraps his arm around me for a quick, tight embrace. He pulls away eventually, “He’d tell you more, but we’ve the practice to do.”

“Yeah, go, stop stealing my Lady Boss from me, Hamilton,” Daniel jokes, pulling me away from my thoughts as I shake my head. I pass it off as an expression of disagreement.

“Yeah, uh huh,” Lewis nods as if letting this banter pass before he looks at Toto. The man still stares at me, and I’m not even scared. Intrigued, in fact. I’m on my way to becoming a shareholder of his rival team, but I’m here ogling at him like it’s a modern Romeo and Juliet.

Ugh.

“Third free practice, Tils,” Daniel nudges me as I nod, finally turning away from the older man as I bid my farewell to the driver and team principal of the other team one more time. 

I tell Lewis, “I’ll see you at dinner tonight?”

Toto, catching the question that escapes my mouth, turns to look at Lewis with a surprised look. Oh no, I don’t mean like that.

Lewis, however, cheekily grins and says, “If you’re done giving my team principal the heart eyes, then sure–”

“Alright, we’re heading out,” I hear Lewis burst out in laughter as I drag Daniel out of the media room, thanking and nodding at each media staff member we pass. 

Daniel seems interested in what he’s heard but chooses not to say anything until we return to the Red Bull zone. He turns to me with a smirk and says, “You know, Tils, with the amount of berating that Horner’s taken from you, we would have assumed you’d be married or something like that.”

I glare at him, only for him to say, “But Seb and I were wrong– and I’m hardly wrong at these things. Maybe you really do hate Horner because of Wolff.”

I roll my eyes at this as he continues to joke, “Horner’s a good team principal–”

I immediately interrupted him, “But nobody can be equally competent and attractive as Wolff. So, I suggest you keep it shut before Christian gives me shit for fraternizing with his enemy. I’ve barely fraternized, but his mouth would say otherwise.”

He mimics a zipper over his mouth as he promises to keep it silent (he won't talk but media outlets certainly would). But knowing him for almost a month or so of being at the headquarters, he won’t leave my obvious schoolgirl crush down. He and Lewis already found a weapon to use while I sit with them during dinner. 

And if they continue on with it, I’ll make sure that they’re written in the hit list as second and third.

[ronanceautistic]

stranger things hyperfixation is actually killing me dead recently bc im trying not to actually engage in the tv show part of it until I get to it in my chronological read/watch-through of everything which means I keep categorising every stupid part of the show under the sun "for research purposes" just as an excuse to think about the show

I shit you not two days ago I gave myself a migraine from watching the entirety of the show on x10 speed while making a list of every scene. and the goofiest part? I already have that list !!! there was no reason for me to make a new one !!!

[pardonmydelays]

prison gang as tøp songs?

everyone gets three songs, because i just couldn't decide (i even made a playlist but it's more for me than for you cause i'm not gonna force you to listen to it, obviously). there will be very little explanation, just some quotes:

ME: forest + car radio + backslide (forest is the one i relate to the most, it's not on spotify so youtube is your only option if you wanna listen to it)

the situation's becoming dire, my treehouse is on fire and for some reason i smell gas on my hands, this is not what i had planned...

i'm forced to deal with what i feel, there is no distraction to mask what is real, i could pull the steering wheel

cause i feel the pull, water's over my head, strength enough for one more time, reach my hand above the tide, i'll take anything you have if you could throw me a line...

BEL: heavydirtysoul + midwest indigo + migraine (in my mind those are your songs now, they are not mine anymore, and i honestly love it so very much)

gangsters don't cry, therefore, therefore i'm mr misty-eyed... can you save my heavy dirty soul?

i want love and sunny days, i'm a bit too old to run away, you make me sad and second-guess myself, you can be so cold...

am i the only one i know waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? shadows will scream that i'm alone... but i know we've made it this far, kid.

RED: formidable + paladin strait + bandito (for some reason i gave you all joshler songs, and yes, formidable is not about jenna, it's about josh)

i'll follow you, but you should know, i might be cynical towards you, i'm just worried my loyalty will bore you, i can die with you, just let me know.

i would swim the paladin strait without any floatation, just a glimpse of visual aid of you on the other shoreline, waiting, expectations that i'm gonna make it...

i could take the high road, but i know that i'm going low... i'm a ban-, i'm a bandito...

ANIX: taxi cab + the craving (jenna's version) + nico and the niners (i was crying while typing this, especially because of taxi cab, maybe i will explain it to you one day)

i know the night will turn to grey, i know the stars will start to fade when all the darkness fades away, we had to steal him from his fate so he could see another day...

say enough, say enough, did i let her know, let her know? if i found my body in chains i'd lay down and wait and hope she looks for me...

i'm careless when i wear my rebel clothes, when bishops come together they will know that dema don't control us.

M: oh ms believer + screen + shy away (two of those three always make me cry, i don't know why but in your case it was such an obvious choice)

oh, ms believer, my pretty weeper, your twisted thoughts are like snow on the rooftops, please take my hand, we're in foreign land, as we travel through snow, together we go...

i do not know why i would go in front of you and hide my soul, cause you're the only one who knows it... yeah, you're the only one who knows it.

don't you shy away, manifest a ceiling when you shy away, searching for that feeling just like an "i love you" that isn't words, like a song he wrote that's never heard.

EDITH: tear in my heart + we don't believe what's on tv + oldies station (it's totally not because you love oldies station, but somehow i feel like even if you don't like twenty one pilots, you may actually like those three)

sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you're alive and have a soul, but it takes someone to come around and show you how...

i need to know that when i fail you'll still be here, cause if you stick around i'll sing you pretty sounds and we'll make money selling your hair

add some years, build some trust, you start to feel your eyes adjust, when darkness rolls on you, push on through.

[cocogum]

I'm sad the great wave volume is over and eager for the next. But I think I enjoyed following through your commentary more than actually getting the story xD

So, thanks for that.

I’ve been giggling at ur comment for two minutes now 🥰🥰

DON’T TELL ME NICE THINGS, MY JAW’S ABOUT TO POP OFF FROM SMILING TOO MUCH-

But in all seriousness, your lovely comment means more than you’ll ever know.

Every Thursday when a new chapter was uploaded, I found myself re-reading it repeatedly. I had to carefully organize my thoughts to articulate them clearly and in a logical order for others to easily follow. I also had to screenshot every panel I needed to reference in order to illustrate my points.

I often have to combine two or three panels into one using Picsart on my phone because Tumblr only allows 10 images and 30 images on the website. This way, I can avoid discarding or wasting any of the images I want to share. Additionally, I sometimes use ibisPaint X to cover up certain parts in images where I cropped them and it affected the appearance of the eyes.

But don’t get me wrong, despite going through this hell every Thursday night, the chapters were a joy to read, and I enjoyed reflecting on them while considering how to approach discussing them.

In short, it was hell but I enjoyed the full process 💖

But it’s obviously not over for the great wave series lol

Since the physical copy of the first volume featured 5 chapters (the 10 webtoon episodes got fused into 5 chapters), this means that we’re only at the very beginning of the Great Wave manga’s story. (I can’t believe we’re still at the beginning even though it feels like we’re already in deep shit 💀)

Tot pretty much confirmed on Twitter that there will be around 100 chapters to prepare for.

That means I’m aware we’ll see much more mature themes (*cough* chapter 1 *cough*) and much more graphic content (*cough* possible horrid assassination of the royal osamodas family *cough* no I am not delusional).

That means I’m aware I’ll have to keep this whole commentary thing going about a hundred times 😄🤭😁

But to know that you enjoyed my commentary more than the story is just-

Wow??? I am speechless???

Like-

What do I even say to that??

I get that the story gave us a huge weekly migraine cuz of the chicken and gorilla but omg???

I am genuinely happy that I made your migraine bearable throughout those weeks, thank you so so much for telling me 😭💖

Just the thought of knowing that you liked them makes me wanna bash some blue animals again 👹👹

I hope you’re having a wonderful day/evening/night imatekuani 💖💖💖

(I see you got a King pfp 👀 ur even more amazing for having good taste ✨💕💕 I’m also pissed disney had to end the owl house earlier than expected)

[geddy-leesbian]

I need to yell into the void

I miss my sister. I miss my nephews. My sister always sucked on some level, but I miss the time before she went from sometimes being kinda shitty to an outright betrayal that I will never, ever be able to forgive. I miss when we were able to have a distant but okay relationship because she was fun in small doses. I miss my nephews. I miss when for christmas we would all go over to my sister's house and play Mario Party while the nephews were awake, and then switch to board games after they went to bed. I hate that my nephews probably won't even remember they have an aunt Heather, and that if they do remember me enough to ask my sister will lie to them and make me (and my mom and brother) out as terrible people. I hate that my niece will definitely not know she has an aunt Heather because I only met her once when she was a newborn.

I don't miss my dad. But I miss having a dad. I'm glad he's finally respected my repeated statements I want nothing to do with him and hasn't made any contact that I've been making since I was 14. For years of my life I would literally fantasize about turning 18 and not going to his house anymore, changing my name, and blocking his number. Yet I miss when he'd still send me a text on my birthday or holidays because even though every time I got one it would fill me with dread and I'd mentally call bullshit on him saying he loved me and would always be there for me, but on some level I think really deep down I enjoyed the validation from the texts. I really did think that he loved me. Even when he was doing unforgivable things and ruining my life, I never doubted he loved me on some level. He didn't really like who I really was as a person, but he at least loved the version of Heather he had in his head. He was emotionally abusive and a bad parent, but that didn't mean he didn't love me. The texts he would send even though I told him to his face I hated him and never wanted to see him again and after that completely ignored him kinda showed that he did still love me unconditionally. That's how it felt to me at least. But no. He gave up on me. He has never respected boundaries, not mine or anyone's. So many fucking times I would try and set boundaries with him, sometimes by myself, on multiple occasions with different therapists, and that man never hesitated to cross any of them. He didn't stop texting me because the fact I want zero contact with him finally got through his thick skull, he stopped for the same reason he's done everything else he's ever done, he wanted to.

If he texted me a "Merry Christmas, sweetie" in 3 days, my blood would boil and I'd be bitching to someone about him having the nerve to still keep trying to talk to me, but deep down I'd be happy to just have a tiny shred of evidence that my dad loves me because he's my fucking dad and it's the bare minimum he's supposed to do and if he loved me he wouldn't have given up so easily.

I miss when my dad would at least pretend to care so I could think that the two people in this world who are supposed to love me do. I miss when, even though I fucking hated him, if I texted him that I had a migraine and ran out of my prescription he would bring me one of his pills. I just miss... i don't know I just miss.

I don't miss any of my paternal relatives. They're vile people, worse than my dad himself. But on some level I miss when I'd have a dozen people who would pretend they loved me a few times a year. Going to those family gatherings was hell for me. I would cry in the car on the way and have panic attacks, dig my fingernails into my arm as hard as I could. But somehow I fucking miss them.

I love my mom and my older brother and my younger sibling and I know they actually love me. Unlike everyone else in this post, they also know me. They know me on more than a surface level. They don't love their ideas of who they think I am, they love who I am. They don't force me to hug them and take family pictures because their love isn't performative, they don't need to show off and virtue signal to the world that they love me.

But I still just want more. I miss things I never had in the first place.

I felt so much happier when I first turned 18, that was 2020 so the world sucked but I still felt so much happier because I was finally able to do what I'd dreamed of for years and cut off the people who were destroying me. I didn't miss my dad, or any other relatives, the first year. Not at all. It was just a good riddance. But it's like as time goes by my brain forgets how bad everything was and misses it. And even when I try to remind myself, think about the horrible things my grandma would say about me, remind myself of all the times my biology teacher would let me sit in a little office connected to his classroom because the stress of my dad would make me cry in class, remind myself that it was bad enough I was suicidal and put into an every single day intensive outpatient program for mental health two different times, look at the picture of the GPS tracker my dad illegally put on my mom's car... none of it clicks. Part of my brain just won't accept that there's nothing worth missing.

[vivian-ambrose]

A look into Sarah Caldwell's Journals...

You have taken it upon yourself to look into Sarah Caldwell’s research. Through your experience as an apothecary assistant under Sarah, it is easier for you than most to understand her notes and research. 

After your trip down into the temple to collect some of those plant samples yourself, you are able to compare them with what Sarah has meticulously recorded in the journals you found inside her house.

May 31st: Notes on Experiment #1:

This slimy glowing algae was taken from around a glowing bowl in the temple Ezekiel showed me. It feels magical, for lack of a better word. There must be something in here that I can harvest for my remedies. It’d be interesting just to see what comes of it. I’ve tried brewing it with some other herbs to create what I will now name ‘Experiment #1’. 

Jun 2nd: Notes on Experiment #1:

I left some of this concoction cooking on the stove for too long and G drank some thinking it was dinner. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was a work in progress. I know how annoyed he gets with them… Will monitor him to see if anything happens to him.

Jun 3rd: Notes on Experiment #1:

No. No. I can’t believe what happened… I need to fix this… He turned into a— Jun 5th: Notes on Experiment #1: I managed to keep G contained and chained up in the shed when he was back to himself in the morning. I need to fix this. I need to fix this. I need help! Ezekiel will help me…

Jun 7th: Notes on Experiment #2:

Experiment #1 turned out wrong. So very wrong. I need to make G better so I’m going to try something new with this plant instead. Had to make another trip down to the temple to get more. These were found around the glowing bowl like it was trying to contain the slimy algae… I hope this can be of use… What if I try mixing the two?

Jun 8th: Notes on Experiment #2:

I gave some of #2 to G. The poor boy has been going through too much. Reminds me of when he was sick as a child… He doesn’t even remember me when he’s in that other state. He gets so angry. So violent…

Jun 9th: Notes on Experiment #2:

It didn’t work. Okay. I need to be patient… It worked a little. He seemed to return to himself for a brief moment. I need to adjust the ingredients. Made a new batch with a bit more of the leafy plant instead. Giving some to G tonight.

Jun 11th: Notes on Experiment #3:

The leafy plant looks to be the answer. I’m going to try for version #3. He is still transforming at night. How do I fix that?? I’m so glad for Zeke’s moral support…

The notes on experiments 3 through 5 show gradual improvement in G’s condition. These experiments take place from Jun 12 to Jul 7th. G remains chained in the shed during this time. Sarah writes of her telling G’s employer that he is not feeling great and needs to remain at home over these few weeks.

Jul 9th: Notes on Experiment #6:

He seems to have stopped transforming outside of his control. His mind is much clearer too. This is certainly a marked improvement. The leafy plant is the answer. It seems to be holding that monster at bay. If G keeps making further improvements on this, then there is hope. I will be administering this to him from now on. It’s for his own good. He should be able to get back out there again. I took some of this myself too and while it hurts a little in my stomach, it made me feel a lot better afterwards. How interesting. I shall do more testing.

Jul 31st: Notes on Experiment:

Cure-All This latest version of the concoction was made using the leafy plant only. It has proven effective in curing various ailments. My body aches are gone. The migraines I have constantly are almost non-existent. I’m not the best at coming up with names, but Cure-All sounds about right. This can now be used for further testing outside of myself and G. I’m sure others will appreciate something like this. Should I tell Vivian about this? She might start asking too many questions that I won’t know how to answer… The poor woman is too busy with family matters now too. I shall not burden her with more.

Journal Entry from August 4th:

G is refusing the Cure-All… I’m starting to worry about him again. He’s become more moody of late. Zeke told me that he took G down to the mines a few days ago. He said G looked a mix of uncomfortable and intrigued down there, especially around the bowl…

Journal Entry from August 6th:

I can’t get G to take the Cure-All. He absolutely refuses and his mood swings are back. He’s been muttering to himself. It’s weird. I need to try sneaking him the Cure-All. It’s for his own good. He’s been spending more time with Maanika in the last 2 weeks. She might be a good influence on him…

The entries between these two dates detail G’s stable progress while she secretly feeds him the Cure-All and how Sarah is satisfied with the efficacy of the remedy in general. She has started giving it to a handful of townsfolk, none of whom have reported anything wrong after taking it.

Journal Entry from August 28th:

Two people were attacked today. Emily Holt and her friend. Emily is still alive, but barely. I knew it was G the moment Luke revealed what she witnessed. She said she saw a creature transform back into a human… It can only be G… This can’t be happening. I thought I was sneaky enough with giving him the Cure-All. Did he find out what I was doing?? He refused to touch anything I gave him this morning…

Journal Entry from August 29th:

4 people have died. 5 including poor Emily… This is bad. How did G kill 4 in one night? That can’t be. People are suspecting there to be more of them. How can there be more of them?? How did they multiply?? No one else knows about G’s condition apart from me and Zeke… How are there more of them??? Who made more of them???

The journal entries end here.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Vivian sits at her work desk in the apothecary in stunned silence. She had just finished comparing Sarah’s research notes to her own, and eventually finding Sarah’s journal. She reads over them again and again, hoping that what she was reading was somehow false, or that her stressed imagination was somehow making it all up. It was Sarah’s writing style, her tone, and her handwriting. Feeling a sense of panic and dread, Vivian began to quickly stuff all of her own notes with the notes and journal of Sarah into her satchel. Without giving it a second thought, she began running as fast as her legs could carry her towards the police station where she hoped Leon and Cal would be. 

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, August 29th, 2024.

Will you answer these questions as personally as you can? Yeah, sure, I'll give it a shot.

Why are you happy? I have so many reasons to be happy. All the way from the "big stuff" like having a safe place to live, enough food to eat and clean water to drink, people who love me, a job that gives me a sense of passion and purpose, etc; to things like the fact that it's cloudy today, I'm eating a yummy breakfast as I take this, I don't have a migraine, autumn is soon approaching, and so on and so forth. Sometimes I lose sight of the good because I'm too focused on things that are going wrong or stressing me out, but I try to routinely remind myself of everything that's going right or that does make me happy.

Who’s the last person you hugged? Nan. I mentioned her in a recent survey. She's a volunteer at the shelter who does heaps of our dirty laundry. I don't know where we would be without her…probably suffocating beneath a mountain of stinky blankets and towels. Anyway, I went out to greet her the other day and she was like, "You're always smiling!" and gave me a hug. :')

Would you pay someone to kill the person who hurt you a lot? I would never do something like that. I wouldn't even wish death on any of the people who have hurt me. However, if there was some magical way to guarantee that I would never encounter those people again…I might take it.

Do you like the song ‘Sick Little Games’ by All Time Low? I've never heard it before; lemme go take a listen… It's alright, but it probably wouldn't make it onto my nonexistent playlist.

Last night you felt? Grateful for the day. I went to the Mountain Park with my dad and it was such a relaxing and nostalgic time. You know when the weather has a certain quality to it and it brings up all kinds of memories? Well, it was like that. I was also relieved that I didn't have to go to the shelter the following morning. My last few "weekends" were busy and exhausting and I spent the last one with an on/off headache, so it's just been nice to have two full days of chillin' and feelin' good.

How are you feeling right now? Tired but relaxed. Introspective. Twinges of dread/nervousness about tomorrow, but for no real reason (everything should be fine). Loving this cool and cloudy weather with its promise of fall.

Are you drifting away from someone you were close with? No.

Is there someone you’d like to fix things with? Yeah.

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? Ehhh.

What are you listening to? Esther purring. She's curled up behind me on the computer chair.

Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Plenty of times.

What is in your pocket? My pockets are empty.

Have a best friend? I do.

Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? My best friend lives in California, so they're always doing things without me.

Do you keep any secrets from your best friend? They know most of my biggest secrets.

What were you doing 60 minutes ago? I had just arrived home from grocery shopping, made myself breakfast, and started browsing for a survey to take.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? My dad knows pretty much everything. There are a lot of things I haven't told my mom and probably never will.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? Aside from partaking in my favorite hobbies and doing things I enjoy, it's usually time that does the trick.

What do you want right now? Ugh. I just realized that one of my kitties might have another UTI. She gets them occasionally, so she's going to have to go to the vet later. :'(

What would you name your future son? I don't want children.

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Oatmeal.

How’s your life lately? Busy.

Last person to send you a text? My dad. I texted him on Tuesday to let him know I was on my way home from the shelter and he sent me a brief reply.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Eating breakfast while taking this survey.

Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah. It was snowy, I spent the morning at the shelter, then went out to lunch with my parents.

Have you done anything embarrassing lately? I'm embarrassed by it, but was it actually embarrassing…? Idk. When I see other people get upset or vent about Diane, I don't think, "Oh my God, how embarrassing." I'm more like, "FVCKING SAMEEE!!!" Talking to Iris (manager) about it was excruciatingly awkward, but it's probably all in my head. As a manager, she's probably used to dealing with issues like that.

Do you trust easily? No. But like I've been saying - I don't know how much of that is a "me thing" versus the fact that I spend a lot of time around people I find to be untrustworthy. Maybe I would open up a lot more in a different environment.

Do you like cookies n’ cream ice cream? Yeah.

How often do you raise your hand in class and answer a question? I'm not in school anymore, but in the past, almost never.

Ever been mistaken for someone else, and took it as an insult? No.

Would you get a mega bag of skittles, or three regular ones? I'm not a big fan of Skittles.

What color shirt are you wearing? I've got on a black t-shirt, a sort of slate gray/blue long-sleeve shirt, and a pine green sweater.

Is there a boy that would do absolutely everything for you? Not in a romantic sense, but my dad is always there for me.

Did you ever think you had the Swine flu? Possibly.

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? I smoke, but aside from myself, I'm not sure.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My dad.

Are you a mean person? No. I can be mean (selfish, thoughtless, etc), but I don't think I exhibit those qualities to the extent that I would be considered a "mean person."

Does anyone hate you? Idk.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? I really only feel comfortable expressing anger with my dad and my therapist. When it comes to other people, I tend to stuff it down until I inevitably explode - which was what happened with the Diane situation. It probably took everyone by surprise, including me! It's not like I woke up that day planning to go all scorched earth.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? No one.

Will this weekend be a good one? I hope so.

Have you ever liked someone older than you? Yeah.

Are you mad at someone right now? Ehhh.

[bunnyinatree]

Thoughts related to disability under the cut...

There are definitely situations where it's best to separate two people with naturally conflicting interests—like when one person is aggressively bouncing their leg to defuse their anxious tension while another person is actively growing anxious because of that rapid movement in their periphery. No one's in the wrong by saying, "I need you to stop doing that," or "I can't stop doing this," and it makes perfect sense for both parties in these cases to separate, because no one person has a larger claim or right to their needs/behaviors.

But then there are situations that are less equal, where it feels like the other person just doesn't get it and that they value their comfort over another person's well-being—like when one person has a strong sensitivity to smells that causes migraines, but the other person insists on using scented products anyway, just because they smell nice. Like, okay, I support that person's love of vibrant fragrances. But their aromatic preferences are not more important than someone else's physical well-being, and it's important to defer to the person with a higher stake in the issue, you know? One person can't help that strong scents trigger migraines; the other person can certainly stop using a certain product in that person's presence.

This is on my mind, because today, a family friend stopped by just before sunset, and my dad turned on the overhead lights in the living room, where we were sitting. I dealt with them for as long as I could, but as the Sun set and the sky grew darker, the lights became more and more painful until I couldn't stand it anymore. I asked if I could adjust the lighting, and while our guest looked confused, my mom explained that I often do this. Both of my parents know that I hate the overhead lights with a passion—so why my father immediately turned them on when our guest arrived and then acted so surprised when it hurt me, I have no idea.

Anyway, when I eventually caved and said that I needed to adjust the lights, my mom initially seemed supportive, if a little apologetic to our guest, which I thought was unnecessary—the apologetic bit. But then, even after I'd adjusted the lights (turning off the overheads and replacing them with the three lamps scattered about the room), my mom asked me if we couldn't keep the overhead lights on just a little.

This confused me, because I recognize when she needs those bright lights on in order to do work and read small text, and in those situations, I simply excuse myself from the room entirely until she's done using them. But we were just sitting on a couch and chatting. I still don't understand why the room needs to be fully lit in order for that to be possible.

When I didn't seem eager to comply with her request, my mom gave me pleading eyes, and I relented but said I would have to leave the room after. This prompted our guest to say something like, "Oh, come on, don't be like that!" Which is frustrating, because I wasn't throwing a fit because I didn't get my way; I just wanted to avoid physical pain. And what am I supposed to do in that situation? Drop my diagnosis and say, "Actually, I have ocular albinism, and the photophobia makes it physically painful for me to sit with these lights turned on"? I don't owe anyone that information, and the fact that I said, "These lights are hurting me" should have been enough.

It's also frustrating, because I live with both of my parents, and while my mom definitely understand my physical limitations more than my dad—she's around me much more than my dad—it seems that even she doesn't really get it.

Afterwards, she saw that I was upset (because I did end up having to leave the room; I went to fetch a hat to protect my eyes then got distracted by my cat), and I explained it to her. She was taken aback and said that she didn't think the lights would hurt me that much if they were only on a little bit. So I reminded her that exposed lighting hurts me because it's not muted or blocked by anything. This is why lamps are generally easier on my eyes: They typically have lampshades.

Still, I wish that people didn't require in-depth explanations to help a person manage their pain. "I need X" should be enough. You can always ask questions later to try and understand the person's needs better, but you shouldn't wait for a sufficient explanation before you give them what they need. If somebody says, "This needs to stop, because it's hurting me," in what world is it OK to say, "OK, but is it really hurting you that badly? Why is it such a big deal to you?" You're essentially grilling the person while continuing to inflict pain on them and expecting them to have an eloquent answer for you that will move you to take pity/have mercy on them.

Actually, now that I've typed all this out, I realize that it sounds a lot like my friends' experiences with misophonia.

[image ID: the meme with two people gripping hands. One side is labeled "misophonia," while the other is labeled "photophobia." Where they are grasping hands, the text reads: "conditions with a root word meaning "hatred" or "fear" in their name ("miso" as in "misogyny" and "phobia" as in "arachnophobia") yet people without it still underestimate the pain and physical duress that it causes and require convincing to stop their harmful behaviors." End image ID.]

[chronoxtreme]

The Cage - Chapter 18 Author's Notes

First of all, here's a link to the chapter in question! CW: Discussions of a relationship with power imbalance, discrimination based on sexual anatomy So, fun fact - everything with Yurgir was not in the original, second or even 4th draft of this fic (and when I mean draft, I basically mean "attempt to think this monster's details out," not an actual draft). Chapters 17 and 18 were supposed to be one chapter, but migraine + insane wordcount + me getting a new position at work basically nuked that idea. So I split it in two, and honestly, I believe it's for the better in terms of pacing.

Nanne's whole "I don't like to use charm-like magic" comes from seeing Da use it on other people. Friends was that guy's favorite cantrip, and while it can get you what you want, it can also burn you. Nanne's much less risk adverse than Da, so they avoid it. Enhance Ability though is fair game because it just makes you better at certain things.

The "homicidal hat trick" line by Gale is a shout-out to Mistborn, one of my favorite book trilogies.

And then we get to the second "twist" of Nanne's backstory: Maria. This is a part that wasn't in my first stab at writing Nanne. Originally, they had no experience with sex or romance at all. However, I realized that them having some romantic history gave them a lot better motivation for their behavior around Astarion pre-seduction. At the same time (and this was unintentional) their experience with Maria became a foil for Astarion's sexual encounters with patriars.

I also put a lot of myself into that story. I'm transmasc nonbinary, and when I wrote that scene, I wasn't out to anyone, including my husband. Thankfully, he's been extremely supportive of me and my identity, but it took a lot of courage to talk about it with him. It's extremely difficult to come out to people who have a certain expectation of who you are. Writing about Maria's rejection was a weird sort of catharsis.

It was also a story where I wanted it to be messy, especially from Nanne's POV and how they describe it. Nanne had zero intentions of having a relationship with their employer, it kind of just... happened. And while it was doomed to failure from the start, Maria was attracted to them. There was a "chance" of it working out. That's what makes it really sting, in my mind. It was problematic at best, coercive at worst, and Nanne wasn't in the wrong - but for so long, they've lived with an emotionally immature parent constantly talking about how difficult it was to raise them, the sacrifices, the burdens, etc. and that gets to you. So naturally, if something goes wrong, it is their fault. Finally, the song! This section ended up being a lot shorter than I expected it to be, but honestly, that's another thing that I've been working on in the "this is for me first" category: not being afraid to release chapters with wildly differing lengths. Yes, it will happen again, that is a promise lmao.

Like the Dawn is one of my favorite songs on the planet, and when I listened to it after playing BG3, I realized that it perfectly described Nanne's thoughts about Astarion in the sunlight, and the rest was history. This is a moment that I could rewrite a thousand different ways and still never be satisfied because how in the world do you write about a person SINGING without it coming off awkward as hell? In the end, I think it worked out okay. I'm not satisfied, but I'm content.

Nanne's using Faerie Fire here, because if bards can use singing to do magic, why not do magic to enhance the singing performance? I've always loved fic/media that's used the world's magic system for stuff like special effects in performances and plays - it makes the world feel alive and Nanne is a bard first and foremost. The bigger the spectacle, the more coin they get. Is there a bit of illusion magic thrown in? Maybe. Hey those Weave lessons with Gale paid off!

Astarion running off was also not in the script but it turned out that way. I don't think it's a bad thing for him to keep feeling guilt. I do worry that it comes off as repetitive and cyclical, but in my experience that's how guilt works in real life. You feel good, you forget about it, and then someone says or does something, and it all comes crashing down. It's tough... and next chapter's gonna be even worse lmao.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

@monthly-challenge 2024 | 8. Taking a Nap

I used this prompt for my original characters, Nathan and Patience: the story is under the cut.

Word count: 1,074

Patience yawned again, this time not suppressing it enough to avoid Nathan’s notice.

“Are you coming down with something?” he asked, practically.

She shook her head. Rhona, who was sitting next to her, chimed in, “Trust me, she’s just tired.”

“I can answer on my own, thank-ye-very-much,” said Patience. “But yes. It’s not a migraine.”

“Good, because I want to spend this time with you.” He shot her a grin; Rhona rolled her eyes.

“I feel like a third wheel,” she informed the ceiling. “I wonder why?”

“Bring along a fourth wheel and we can get this show on the road,” said Patience, a grin of her own breaking through. “How ‘bout it?”

“I should ask Lia, or Chloe or someone. Instead of sitting here while you two are busy making heart eyes at each other.”

“We don’t do that too often,” disagreed Patience.

Rhona laughed. “That was a joke, right? Right?”

Nathan laughed too. Patience glanced between them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, somewhat crossly. She was sincere, and Nathan gave her a glance not quite as loving as his previous ones.

“It’s a joke,” he said. “Can you not take a joke?”

“Not when you’re going to be horrid about it,” she said. “I’m no good with jokes, you know that.”

“Eh, you’re pretty good at them,” disagreed Nathan.

“I’m not trying to have an argument,” said Patience. There was silence for a moment, before Rhona filled it in by asking if either of them were up for a card game. Nathan was, and Patience debated claiming a headache and retiring to calm herself down. Eventually she said she was.

They played in somewhat less friendly silence, apart form the occasional words that were strictly about the game. At the end Nathan apologised for being horrid to her.

“You don’t need to apologise,” said Patience, who had calmed down and was now ready to accept and offer apologies. “It was my own fault being all snippy about it.”

“It was my fault for mocking you over it and belittling you,” he said.

“You apologise too easily,” said Patience, beginning to feel annoyed. “Too easily! Is that possible? I can hold grudges for ages, Pat. You should know this of me by now!”

“Sure, I know you say you hold grudges, but I don’t know—you’ve never seemed the sort who really holds a grudge, just thinks he does.” She spoke with the authority of a known grudge-holder, and Rhona made eye contact and smiled.

“The fact that we didn’t end up like Anne and Gilbert for the first few books is due mainly to circumstances, otherwise I could had ended up holding a grudge against you for some silly reason.”

Patience sighed. “You’re too hard on yourself, Nathan. You really need to be nicer to yourself sometimes.”

His expression darkened, and she knew she had hit a painful spot. “No.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged and mumbled his words, so that she missed what he said and had to ask for clarification. He shook his head helplessly instead of answering.

“You need to work on this,” she said, and knew at once that she had gone too far.

“Absolutely not,” said Nathan. “I’m entitled to think what I will about myself, thanks very much.”

“I just want the best for you,” she said, somewhat helplessly on her own account. She didn’t know really how to combat this. She had experienced such thoughts in herself, too—but then Nathan had helped her, and encouraged her, but it seemed sometimes as if he refused to let her encourage him too. It wasn’t a terrible problem by any means, but it was one she wanted to help him to fix because it could always get worse.

If he wouldn’t accept her help, though, what could she do, really?

It was, then, with a touch of annoyance that she added, “I don’t want you to keep putting yourself down. How do you think it makes other people feel? The people who love you?”

Nathan blinked in surprise. Rhona got up and left the room without comment.

“We care about you, Nathan, that’s why we want to make you not say these things.”

“I’m entitled to say whatever I want about myself,” he said stubbornly.

“Maybe so, but you’ve got to know that I’m going to pull you up on it almost every time.”

“Has it occurred to you that that’s really annoying?” he queried.

“Has it occurred to you that I don’t particularly care, since I think it’s for your own good?”

“You don’t care about my feelings?” His expression was stubborn and growing angry. “Got it. Well noted for the future, my girl.”

“Please don’t be horrid,” she said, softening suddenly. “Don’t say things like that. I just want to do the best I can do for you, you know?”

“I get it, but I’m entitled to still get annoyed by it,” he said stiffly. With a sudden emotional glance at her, he added, “If we’re going to hit shoals on this kind of thing, how are we ever supposed to last?” Patience froze, mouth half open. He had never said something like this.

“I want to be together for the long term!” he exclaimed. “I want—I want to marry you, Patience! But I don’t see how our differences can be reconciled!”

In an altered tone, she said slowly, “My dear, we don’t have to figure everything out right this instant. We just have to try, and keep on trying, for now. Surely?”

He pressed one hand against his eyes. “I worry about our future, Patience. Because I love you, and I don’t want to give you up. But I worry we won’t work out.”

She yawned again, a wave of tiredness encompassing her. “I don’t want to give you up either,” she said quietly. “Can’t we just stop this conversation for now and come back to it later, maybe?”

“Sure.” He held out his arms. “Come and cuddle, Patience. If you want to, that is.”

“Always.” She relocated herself to his lap, curled up against him and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Very quickly, Patience was asleep, and when Rhona came cautiously back she found them both fast asleep. Nathan’s arms were around Patience, and his head tilted in a protective fashion over her.

“I presume you’ve made up your argument,” said Rhona, too quietly to disturb the sleepers.

Tagging @stealingmyplaceinthesun @graycedelfin @pilgrimsofworship and @choasuqeen