#i gave myself a deadline of like 10 days to do this and i think that's the only reason it got done

[mintchocolatechimp]

I made an animatic of my favorite scene from Rise of Kyoshi.

I clearly got more confident as time went on, and there is plenty I would like to have done better, but I'd rather take that knowledge with me into the next project instead of toiling over this one forever.

For a bit of context (spoilers for a four year old book?), they're on an iceberg surrounded by water. At this point in the book, Kyoshi is only known to be an earthbender, so she's seemingly helpless, but ends up ripping earth all the way from the seafloor to stop pirates from kidnapping Yun, the boy who is believed to be the current Avatar.

[kuiinncedes]

ahdfgjh

[psychemochanight]

Dick being neurodivergent, because why not? (Am I projecting myself onto my hyperfixation character of the moment? Absolutely).

Dick finds the weirdest possible positions to be absolutely comfortable. We already talked about how he likes to hang upside down, but besides that, he's always sitting in a strange way.

Bruce doesn't have any opinion on any of this, but sometimes wonders if Dick is trying to give himself some kind of cramp. The others just wonder if the boy has actual bones.

Bruce thought Dick couldn't be a picky eater, but he's totally wrong. Alfred taught Dick to cook because he knows that if he depended solely on food prepared by other people, the boy would starve. (Worse is when they discover that if they don't remind him, this guy won't eat at all. He just totally forgets that humans need food).

He also taught him other things for sensory issues that he doesn't want to acknowledge. (Yes, there are ways to keep his sheets soft enough, to prevent his shirts from getting lint, even cleaning the slab so it doesn't have weird textures).

Bruce always purposely gave him more work than he needed to do, otherwise he would never get the boy to concentrate. Nothing too difficult, he didn't want to overburden him yet, but seriously, even if he liked math, he would never sit down for more than 10 minutes to do his homework. Organizing his tasks didn't always work, but a deadline? It was his best strategy. Even out of ten minutes, eight were just him thinking about something else and only two to complete the job, he would complete it anyway.

(He never gives him the same task twice in a row. God knows that will never be complete. Have you seen how many jobs this man has? He can't stay in one place for more than a few months).

His thoughts also jump from one situation to another as much as he jumps on rooftops when he is on patrol. Bruce never understands his line of thinking, but it is extremely helpful in solving cases.

Despite appearing extroverted, Dick was still more of an ambivert, sometimes even seeming more introverted, he's just not that shy. His social battery runs out pretty quickly, even if he pretends it doesn't. He still needs time to himself in order to move on, and as a child his best way of pointing this out to Bruce was by hiding under tables in a dark place, or instead, climb to the highest places, farthest from people. Bruce learned that although Dick was used to the noise of people, he was used to seeing it from above, not in the middle of the crowd.

It's not that he's non-verbal, but there are still days where just talking is a no-no. As a child he had better control, but as an adult he just doesn't want to talk, and he's not going to talk.

Weighted blankets? Yes please. Noise cancelling headphones? He would love to, but he is too paranoid to completely isolate himself from his surroundings. (If his friends notice that his leg is bouncing more than usual, they assure him that they will keep watch and ask him to wear his headphones for a while, if they need to talk to him they use sign language).

He also has blackout curtains. And we all know his comfort object is a stuffed elephant, come on. (I love the fandom for this idea. Give the guy his stuffed elephant, give him Zitka.)

Yes, Dick, people have hobbies, but normal people don't change hobbies after mastering them once, much less change them every three days. No, gymnastics is no longer your hobby at this point, it's literally your life.

A special interest falls short when you spent a week without sleep to continue researching your new hyperfixation.

[harrygoeswest]

Harry Styles is your sworn enemy. You've decided to take a holiday in the Scottish Highlands, and so has he. And there's only one bed…

~~~

A/N: Hiiiiii! I think I announced this like 3 months ago and never finished it, but we're finally here! I actually really fucking love this story. I've never done this 'one bed' trope before, nor an enemies-to-lovers OU, because EVERYONE loves H man, right? Well, not this YN. And he's not too fond of her either. I'm really excited to share it with you. Again, what started as a one shot grew into a two-parter because I simply cannot contain myself when the ball starts rolling. Anyhoo, to my forever friend @all-things-fic, thank you as always for reading this through and making me snort at your comments and being the ultimate validator <3

Word Count: 13,261 Trigger Warnings: Swearing (obvs), vomiting, bed-sharing with a sexy man

~~~

Rain. Persistent, unabated, never-ending, relentless rain. It was all you’d heard and seen all day and you were sick of it. You’d never really minded it until today, but thanks to one shit-show after another, you were ready to relinquish it. You wanted it gone. Your summer holiday was already off to a bad start.

“Bad day?”

Where to begin?

A cabin in the Scottish Highlands had sounded like the perfect escape for a four-week break away from the city. You had work to do, deadlines to meet, but at least you could do it without being interrupted. Without the sounds of pedestrians and car horns and wayward seagulls and bike bells. Yep, the Highlands still sounded perfect, but the endless string of catastrophes made you wonder if it really was perfect or rather just a ridiculous indulgence.

No. You deserved this break. Bad day or not, the holiday was needed.

When your brother had told you a year ago that he’d bought a holiday home in the Highlands you hadn’t exactly been surprised. He and his wife had been talking about it for years, and he’d finally earned enough money through his music career to be able to do it. Sadly, with your own deadlines and packed schedule, this was the first time in said year you’d been able to find time to go.

Apparently the all-knowing entity in your life had other plans.

You were supposed to come by plane first thing this morning, but your car had broken down on the way to the airport and you spent 3 hours waiting for the AA to rescue you. You had then managed to rearrange your flight to a later one, but because of the weather, all other flights out of Bristol had been cancelled for the day. You then spent a ridiculous amount of money on a 10 hour train from Bristol to Inverness with a change at Edinburgh in between, and were now forking out on a taxi to take you the rest of the way.

At that particular point in time, a cabin in the middle of nowhere seemed like a dreadful fucking idea.

“Could say that.” You managed weakly.

The driver chuckled to himself and you tried not to squeal. “Nearly there now. Fifteen minutes or so.”

There is a God!

Forty-five minutes later he finally stopped in the middle of a single track road. Your eyelid had been twitching for half that time, and a headache was forming in your left temple.

He turned over his shoulder and flashed a grin. He was missing an incisor and three of his other teeth were gold. “This is as far as I can get you. Cabin is at the top of that hill.”

You gave him a look, then peered out the window. All you could see was rain and mud and a black night. “What hill?”

“You’ll find it. Fare is sixty.”

“Sixty quid?”

He nodded. “Scottish if you’ve got ‘em. I’m a collector.”

“We agreed on forty. And no, I don’t have any bloody Scottish notes.” A Scottish man collecting Scottish money! On what planet?!

“No, sixty.”

You muttered expletives under your breath and shoved the money at him over his shoulder.

“Y’alright gettin’ your own case, love? Don’t really want t’ get wet.”

“Un-fucking-believable.”

In the shittiest, snappiest manner you could muster, you got out of the car and retrieved your luggage from the boot, slamming every door you touched. The driver immediately pulled off once the boot was closed, pipping his horn.

“Wanker!” You yelled after him.

Finding your bearings, you located the ‘hill’ he’d been talking about, forcing down your frustration at the size of the damn thing as you started up the pathway. You dragged your suitcase behind you through the mud, grateful it had a hard and waterproof plastic exterior. At least after all this you’d be able to take a shower and change into clean clothes.

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to reach the cabin, thanks to not only the rain but also the brutal wind. When you finally reached the porch you fell onto it, greeted by the most intense relief you’d ever felt. You took a minute to recover from your exercise, and then fumbled around on the dark porch for the stone your brother had left the key under.

“Aha.” Delighted when you found it, you pulled the key out of the rock and shoved it in the door, unlocking it.

Heat floated over your body, as did warm, homey light. Weird. Why were the lights on?

Then did your eyes land on the thing that was most definitely out of place. 

A loud, shrill scream ripped from your body.

A man was in the cabin. A naked man. Mostly. The only thing saving him and you was the towel wrapped around his waist. Shiny back, muscly arms, damp neck, wet hair. At the sound of your wail he turned around, equally as alarmed.

“What the-?”

In his panic, the grip he had on his towel slipped, and you were given more of an eyeful than you ever bargained for. 

You screamed again and reached for the closest thing to you, then lurched it across the room at him. Then your brain caught up with you, and you pulled the door closed again, separating you from him. You were back outside in the cold.

That man wasn’t just anyone. He’d never been just anyone. He was your sister-in-law’s friend. He was your brother’s boss, to a degree. He was your worst fucking nightmare rolled into physical human form.

He was Harry fucking Styles.

This was officially the worst day of your life.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You repeated, over and over again as you paced the porch, head in your hands. You knocked into your suitcase multiple times and it ended up falling down the porch steps into a muddy puddle. You tripped over a loose piece of decking at least twice. You caught your hip on the porch bannister, too. But none of it registered with you while your brain cycled between images of Harry’s naked back and his large appendage.

How could this be happening? What had you done to deserve such a catastrophic start to your holiday? You couldn’t stay here. Not with that man. That man that you hated, and who hated you in return. This was a disaster.

You dug your phone out of your sopping handbag. No signal. 

“Oh, come on.” You hissed.

Stubborn as always, you tried to call your brother anyway. Repeatedly. Twenty times, at least, each one failing to connect. You couldn’t even leave a voicemail. You raised the phone to the sky like it was baby Simba. Still nothing.

“Fuck!”

The door swung open, and Harry said your name in a low grunt.

You swivelled, glare like a dagger. “You. Why the fuck are you here?”

“Why am I here?” He scoffed. He was clothed now, in a t-shirt and jogging bottoms. “Why are you here?”

“This is my brother’s cabin! I have a key! He said I could stay here!”

“Well, guess what?” He leaned forward, arms crossed. “Holly said I could stay here, too.”

You wanted to throw your phone at his stupid face. “Fucking great.”

“There’s obviously been some misunderstanding.” He straightened.

“You don’t say…” 

His gaze narrowed. “You’re impossible.”

“At least I’m not the one who’s stupid enough to state the obvious.”

You turned away again and tried your brother one more time. The beep beep beep that told you the call had failed yet again had your stomach in knots.

“There’s no phone signal here.”

“Yes, thank you. Just go back inside.”

“No.”

“For the love of Christ, why not?”

“I’d rather see what you’re going to do with yourself.”

You turned another glare on him. “Oh, I’m so glad that the shitty situation I’ve found myself in is entertaining you, Harry. Please, mock me some more. The resulting anger might actually take the chill out of my fucking toes.”

He looked like he was about to open his mouth, but you didn’t let him.

“You know, this really has been the day from hell. It’s been a categorical disaster from start to finish, and finally getting myself here only to find you, of all people, really is the cherry on top of my whopping slice of shit pie. So please, do me this one favour, and sod off back inside.”

His jaw ticked, and he emitted a low growl before he slammed the door of the cabin and left you in the cold, wet night.

A sob wracked through you, and you flopped down on the top step just to let your body deflate for five minutes. It was so cold you were shivering. Your clothes clung to your body like sheets of ice, your lips were cracked, and a bite ate away at your toes.

You knew you couldn’t do much tonight. You’d have to wait until tomorrow, for when the storm hopefully passed, and you could call your brother to give him a gobful and then walk into the village to find a B&B or cheap hotel. You hadn’t forgotten that your train ticket was a set day return for four weeks’ time. You’d just have to wait until Harry was gone before you took your time to enjoy the cabin like you’d planned.

When you finally calmed down you dragged your suitcase out of the mud and dropped it on the driest part of the deck. You dug around for the jumper you’d brought with you and pulled it over your frozen torso. You also took your shoes and socks off and put two clean pairs on. Once you were wrapped back up in your coat, you settled on the armchair that was the least wet and tried to go to sleep.

After five minutes or so, the cabin door creaked open again.

“Come inside, please.” Harry’s voice was void of any emotion.

“No.”

“You’ll get sick if you stay out here.”

“Rather that than share a bed with you.”

“And you think I want to share a bed with you, either?”

“Then we’re both on the same page. I’m fine out here.”

“You are not fuckin’ fine out here. It’s shitting it down, for fuck’s sake, you could get a flu. Or worse.”

You hadn’t opened your eyes so you had no idea what his facial expression read. “I’m surprised you give a shit enough to care.”

“I don’t particularly, but I like your brother and I don’t want him thinking I didn’t at least try to get you to be sensible when it’s fucking biblical outside.”

“I’ll pass.”

Harry took a deep breath, and he muttered, “Bloody insufferable woman,” before he slammed the door again.

You snuggled further into the chair, shoving your hands under your face. You thought that would be the end of it, but no more than thirty seconds later the door swung back open. You pretended to ignore him, expecting a verbal taunt. Instead, all you got was scuffing noises.

Pushing down the urge to growl like he did at you, you squeezed your eyes shut and faked indifference at his huffy grunting. Until he dragged you out of the chair and hauled you into the cabin in three easy movements.

“What are you doing?” You demanded, scowling at him as he locked the door behind you.

“You can be as stubborn and petty as you like about this, but you are not staying outside in the rain. End of story.”

“I was fine!”

“You were not fine.” He folded his arms again. “Look at you, for fuck’s sake. You’re about five seconds away from catching hypothermia. You think I want that on my hands? You, of all people, needing my attention every day for the next five weeks? I don’t, by the way. I came here for a holiday, too.”

“I didn’t bring myself here to be a God damn burden to you, Harry. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Why don’t you go and get in the shower, and maybe you’ll calm the fuck down.”

You inched closer to him. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love that. Me, following your orders like some sycophant.”

He took a step closer to me. “I would, actually. It might make you somewhat tolerable.”

“Get fucked, Harry.”

“Sounds like you need that more than I do.”

You produced a noise somewhere between a grunt and a squeal, and shoved at his chest once before you stalked away. “Prick.”

He hummed, entertained. “Try not to think about mine while you’re in there. I’m sure the sight of it has left you with enough to be desired.”

Too tired to argue with him anymore, you threw your middle finger at him over your shoulder.

Whether you’d been forced inside against your will or not, you really did want a shower before a permanent chill settled over you. You turned the water on and let it run hot. The second it swilled over your body you let out a helpless moan. 

You stood stoic underneath it for an indeterminate amount of time, just willing your body to warm up. The day washed away from you, worries temporarily forgotten while you soaked up as much heat as you could. Oh, it was glorious. A shower had never been so rewarding.

After a while you realised you didn’t have any of your shower stuff with you, still locked in your suitcase, and you let out a huff. You surveyed what Harry had brought with him and spent too long debating whether it was socially acceptable to wash using your mortal enemy’s shower gel. You decided against it and would properly wash in the morning.

Taking another ten minutes, you decided you were ready to face Harry again and whatever bollocks he might throw your way. You found a towel and gave your hair a dry, then wrapped it around your body. You hadn’t thought this through in your desperation to get away from him.

You stepped out of the room with purpose and marched over to where Harry had abandoned your suitcase after dragging it inside earlier, and carefully picked your way through it to find your pyjamas and toothbrush. Without giving the man even the slightest glance, you locked yourself back up in the bathroom to change and clean your teeth.

“Forget your clothes?” Harry asked at your second reappearance.

“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?” You gave a roll of your eyes.

He sat straighter in the armchair he was settled into, “Why answer a question with another question?”

You ignored him. Instead you gave yourself the opportunity to actually take in your brother’s second home. You realised it was tiny. Like Tiny Home tiny. When he said he’d bought a cabin you thought he meant something like a chalet. But no, this was small. A kitchenette had been built into the right-hand wall by the front door with a fridge, a two-plate hob and a stainless steel sink. Two armchairs sat either side of a small birch table, and a double bed at the back of the room with a cherrywood wardrobe. A woven rug gave the space a homey feel, balancing the bare oak that gave foundation for the rest of the place.

A sinking feeling buried in you when you realised there wasn’t a sofa.

You rubbed a hand into your cheek, feeling slightly cheated by your brother and his wife. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Harry said into the quiet, all malice and jest lost.

“I feel like it.” You admitted, turning your stare on the bed. “I’m just tired.”

He cleared his throat and stood. “I sleep on the left.”

You refrained from giving him another eye roll and instead focussed on settling down. You left your phone on the dining table, plugged in to charge overnight, poured a glass of water which you drank in one long swig, and then returned to the bed.

“What are you doing?”

Harry had settled on the left side of the bed but with his head at the foot and his feet at the top. If he slept on the left, did that not completely defeat the purpose of his claim?

“Top and tail.”

“Yeah, no. Absolutely not.” You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I am not giving you the opportunity to stick your foot in my face at any given point in the night.”

He kissed his teeth and sat up with a scowl. “Woman, you have got some major fuckin’ trust issues.”

“With you I do, absolutely.”

You waited until he was in bed the right way up before you slipped in yourself and turned the light off. The room was cast in darkness and your eyes struggled to adjust. You faced away from Harry on your side, wriggling to find a comfortable position, and you could hear him doing the same.

His foot was definitely on your side of the bed so you kicked it away. He then tried to take the covers off you, but you were quick to snatch them back. He let out a deep sigh.

“Can I have some of the quilt, please?”

“You’ve got some.”

“I have none.”

“Bullshit.”

He ripped the covers away again, and you fought the urge to squeal.

“Give some back.”

“You have some.” He said in the same tone you had.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“I’m cold.”

“You’ve just spent an hour using up all the hot water so I refuse to believe that.”

“What is your problem?”

“You are.”

You grit your teeth. Folding your arms, you scooted as close to the edge of the bed as possible without falling off. Arguing with him was fruitless, it just left you angry and wired.

Tomorrow, you resolved to find somewhere, anywhere else to stay. For now, you’d try to sleep uncomfortable and coverless.

~

Had you slept?

No.

For hours you’d imprisoned yourself on the edge of the bed, cold and coverless, hugging yourself in an attempt to keep warm, and squeezing your eyes closed just praying that sleep would come. But it never did. You’d think after the day you had yesterday it would be easy to just drop off. Why would it be that simple for you?

You knew it was light outside now thanks to the inside of your eyelids. You decided then to give up. Sleep wasn’t coming.

As you opened your eyes you realised how close to the edge of the bed you were. At the same time, Harry wriggled again, further onto your side of the mattress, and his knee nudged your backside.

Oh no.

Struggling to find anything to hold onto, your body tumbled over the edge. A panicked yelp tore out of you, followed by a grunt and a thud when you hit the floor.

“Ow.” You whimpered. You’d fallen on your front, knee and toe first followed by your head. You rolled onto your back and held onto your forehead as if it might stop the pounding you felt.

Laughter started, and your eyes flew open to find Harry hovering over the side of the bed, green eyes shining. You were, actually, somewhat offended by how entertained he was. If it was acceptable to hit people, you’d be hitting him.

“You alright down there?”

“No I’m not fucking alright, Harry.”

Your own anger made the throbbing in your head worse so you stayed on your back.

“Alright, was only a question.”

“This is your bloody fault - you’re a bed hogger!”

“Yeah? Well you snore!”

“Considering I didn’t get a single second of sleep last night I don’t know how you’ve landed on that conclusion, and I can only assume you’ve made it up to piss me off.”

“You were snoring.” He said in a flat voice.

“No I wasn’t.”

The throbbing got worse again, so you squeezed your eyes shut and took a deep breath. Then another.

“You’ve hit your head.”

If the thought of rolling your eyes didn’t make you nauseous you’d absolutely do it. “If there was an award for Best Observationist, you’d win it.”

“Do you need ice or something?”

His voice had changed and it somewhat startled you. You peeled an eye open again to find he hadn’t moved - he was still hanging over the bed. His expression, however, was neutral.

“Yes. Please.”

He gave a curt nod and then disappeared. You closed your eyes again, willing the throbbing away.

“There isn’t any ice.”

You refrained from screaming, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. “Okay.”

“Here,” his voice was much closer, and he gave a little pat to your knee, “this might help.”

Peeling an eye open, he flashed a couple of boxes of painkillers. “Panadol.” Of course the man had branded paracetamol. The 95p boxes of Sainsbury’s own shoved in your kitchen cupboard looked shameful right about now.

“Extra strength. And that rapid relief ibuprofen.”

“You brought painkillers with you on holiday?”

He shrugged. “I’m here for a long time. Hangovers need encouragement to get fucked.”

You raised a sceptic brow. “And here I thought some magical mystery Nutri-Bullet recipe would be your saviour.”

“Funny.” He muttered.

Huh. How unlike him not to shove a witty rebuttal at you.

“Do you need help getting up or are you just gonna sit on the floor all day?”

Your scowl returned. “I’m fine.”

On shaky legs and with a fuzzy head, you grabbed the side of the bed and hauled yourself up. You weren’t sure if the sudden ringing in your ears was something you should be worried about, but you persisted.

Once sat, Harry handed you the tablet boxes and fetched a glass of water for you while you thumbed out two of each.

“Thank you.” You mumbled.

“Please and thank you in the space of ten minutes?” He goaded. “Sounds like you’ve got a concussion.”

“My parents didn’t raise me in a barn.”

He stood with his broad arms folded across his chest while he watched you swallow down four tablets, face a mishmash of irritation and something else. You refused to believe it was concern so you attributed it to frustration. You were just ruining his holiday the same way he was ruining yours.

You decided to finish the water, and then Harry took the boxes and the glass from you. You laid back down, shielding the room and your eyes with your arms.

“Sure you don’t need a hospital?” His voice was far away.

“Yes. I just need to close my eyes for a bit. I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t answer, and you were thankful. Any more talking and your head might have exploded.

~

You’d fallen asleep. While you hadn’t intended to, you couldn’t help but be grateful for the respite. There was no way you would’ve been able to do anything on zero hours sleep, so a few was better than nothing.

You sat up, noticing that you’d corrected yourself direction-wise on the bed and pulled the covers over you. You must’ve done it subconsciously.

The cabin was quiet. Almost eerily so. There was no sign of Harry anywhere. The only sign that he’d been there at all was his own suitcase tucked away in the corner. No sound came from the bathroom, and all you could hear outside was birds.

Birds. Not rain.

You scrambled out of bed towards the front door and hauled it open, but it was locked. Harry had locked you in. You found the key your brother had left for you on the table and put it to use.

It was glorious outside. Not a cloud in the sky, blue everywhere, green even more so. And it was warm. Summer dress warm. Your feet itched to go outside, but you knew you needed to take it easy. The headache hadn’t completely subsided, but it was tolerable. Barely there. A shower and some food would fix it.

You closed the door and locked it again, determined to start your day. Steadily.

You were about to head straight for the shower when you noticed it. A brown paper bag trapped under a pretty mug, and a jar of instant coffee wedged inside it. The mug lived here - you recognised it from Holly’s old flat. But the greasy brown bag did not. You noticed the letters GF scrawled on the front.

He remembered.

Warning bells started screaming inside your head as you plucked the bag out and opened it up. The smell of cooled buttery pastry wafted from inside, and you pulled out the biggest croissant you’d ever seen.

The message was clear as day. Eat and get some caffeine in you.

This was bad. Angry Harry you could deal with any day of the week at any time of day. You could even cope with jester Harry, because you gave just as good as you got. But this? Base-level concern? It threw you for a loop.

Regardless, you were starving. So you boiled the kettle and made your coffee just how you like it as you tore off pieces of pastry and gobbled it down. While you waited for your coffee to cool once your croissant was demolished, you took a quick shower.

Half an hour later you were out the door and feeling a hell of a lot better than you had done for weeks. You wandered down into the village, the sun a glowing comfort on your bare skin.

You had a mission today: alternative accommodation.

You kept an eye on your phone for patches of signal, and called your brother whenever you found some. He never answered. Part of you wondered if he was ignoring you, and if that was the case you were going to have a very big problem. He only ignored you if he was avoiding you.

And that wasn’t even your biggest problem.

“I’m sorry, we’re full.” The receptionist at the final B&B said with barely an ounce of emotion.

“The sign outside said you had vacancies.”

“I just sold the last one over the phone. Haven’t had time to change it.” She gave me a smile that didn’t touch her eyes.

You fought a petulant sigh. “Do you know where else I can stay? I’ve tried every B&B here and no one has any vacancies.”

“Why don’t you try an AirBnB.” She suggested with a tone dripping in sarcasm. “You young people seem to love those.”

Ah, so this was a territorial issue. You gave her a flat glare and left without another word.

Yet again, you found yourself in a rut. Your good mood had been successfully wiped away. Maybe you would check AirBnB, but the thought of spending another obscene amount on accommodation filled you with a sickly feeling.

Your phone started ringing, much to your surprise. Holly. “Is my brother ignoring me?”

“I don’t know, but if he was, he probably wouldn’t tell me.” She laughed, always a fan of your no-nonsense approach. “I thought I’d call since I haven’t heard from you. Did you make it there alive?”

“Alive is not the word I’d use to describe my current state. It’s also impossible to call someone when the phone signal is worse than a World War II air raid shelter.”

Holly cackled. “You’re such a nerd. What’s wrong?”

“Either you’re playing dumb to avoid my wrath or you’re very stupid.”

She gasped your name but she was most definitely entertained. “What do you mean?”

“Harry is here. Using your holiday home.”

An extended period of silence followed, completed with a breathy, “Oh… shit.”

Oh shit, indeed.

“Well,” she seemed to shake herself, “it can’t be that bad.”

This one was truly off her rocker. “Can’t be that bad? Holly, how many times have you been in a room with me and Harry at the same time?”

“Plenty.”

“Exactly. How many times have we had a fight whilst in said same room together?”

“Almost always.”

“Not almost always, just always. We. Do. Not. Get. On.”

“Oh, babe, I think you’re being a bit dramatic.”

“There’s only one fucking bed!”

Holly went quiet for a minute, and you realised you’d earned the attention of a few passers by. You sat down on a nearby bench, wary of the throb in your head getting worse.

“Are you okay?” She finally asked.

That set you off. You launched into your shitty day from yesterday, from the car breakdown to the taxi driver to hitting your head this morning. Words without breath had never left you so fast and the feeling you were rewarded with after was less than satisfactory. Deflation. Sadness.

“Oh, hun, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going.” You were certain she was lying about that last sentence but you didn’t interrupt her. “I’ll get in touch with Harry and tell him to rein it in.”

“I don’t need you to curb the man on my behalf, Hol. I can handle him myself. I just… I really wish he wasn’t here.”

“Do you want me to make him leave?”

A rare sight of guilt crept its way into the centre of your stomach. You battled the urge to say yes, because you knew if Holly asked him to, he would absolutely go. “No… hardly fair. He was here first.”

“Yeah but I bet you would’ve been if all those things didn’t go wrong yesterday.”

You grunted. You were supposed to arrive just before 9am yesterday morning, not close to 11pm. “Don’t make him leave. I’m a bitch but I’m not a complete cunt.”

“You’re not either of those things by any stretch. My friend just happens to know how to really rattle your cage.”

Ain’t that the truth. “I’m trying to find a B&B or something but they’re all full.”

“Oh, please don’t spend more money.”

“I can’t stay in your cabin, Hol. I didn’t sleep last night and that man does not know how to share a queen bed.”

“It’s actually a three-quarter bed.”

“Fuck off.” You groaned.

“Look, we wanted it to be as spacious as possible there. We didn’t anticipate two people who claim to hate each other having to share it. It’s for cuddling.”

That urge to smack someone reared its ugly head. “You’re ridiculous.”

She laughed from the back of her throat, and as irritated as you were it did make you smile. “Take a long walk, babe. If you’re in the village there’s a great ice cream place near the church that’ll make you forget all about He Who Shall Not Be Named.”

You rolled your eyes. “I can say Harry, for fuck’s sake.”

She screamed as if she’d been burned, teasing you.

“Shut up.” You actually managed to laugh. “Fine. I’ll go find some ice cream. But if they’ve got WiFi I will absolutely be looking for an AirBnB.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

“Do me a favour and tell my brother to stop being a wuss.”

“Oh, come on, you know he can’t handle your wrath. You can tell him yourself, anyway.”

You started looking around to see if they’d actually come up and were just loitering nearby to piss you off.

“What?”

“We were going to surprise you but I think you might murder us if we did. We’re on our way to you. My Nanna will be coming, too - we’ve got a table booked at the pub in the village.”

Unbelievable. “You little minx.” 

One of the reasons Holly and your brother bought a holiday home in Scotland was to be able to spend more time with Holly’s family. While she grew up in London and has never left it, her mum’s side of the family are all in Scotland.

Holly giggled, obviously delighted with herself. “Sorry. We’re set to arrive in about two hours.”

“But where are you staying?”

“My Nan’s house.”

“Not got a spare room, has she?” You mumbled.

“I know you don’t mean that, but she doesn’t. We’re staying on her pullout.”

“Damn.”

“We’re gonna go straight there and then come to you afterwards, alright?”

You took a deep breath and stood up from your bench. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you in a few hours, then.”

“Byeee!”

You were already making a beeline for the ice cream shop by the time she put the phone down.

It was a cute little parlour, like something straight out of a movie. Retro tiles covered the walls and floor in pinks and yellows, two long display freezers to the left full to the brim with every single flavour one could ever imagine. Tables spread across the right and spilled onto the street, and booths in the corner each had a miniature jukebox on top.

“How can I help you?” A man behind the counter asked, dressed in a full uniform complete with the little hat.

“Hi, um,” you gave him the best smile you could, even if you were overwhelmed, “do you have any gluten free cones?”

“Sure,” he gestured to the stand on the top with a variety of cones, from small to ridiculously large in size, “just this one.”

The cone in question was the most pathetic-looking of them all. You did your absolute best to hide your disappointment. “Great, then I’ll have one of those. Chocolate, please.”

“Which type?” He lifted a brow.

You realised then that there were about ten different chocolate flavours. “Er… which is the best one in your opinion?”

That perked him up. He spent the next five minutes listing off reasons why the chocolate and hazelnut flavour was his most popular of all his options.

“I guess that’s the one I want, then.” You forced another smile.

“Coming right up.”

Something made you shiver, but it wasn’t a gust of wind or the freezers you stood by.

“At least try and act like you’re excited about it.” A deep voice murmured, far too close to your ear for your liking.

You practically hissed and took a very purposeful step away. “Jesus, Harry.”

He laughed, but the sound wasn’t spiteful like it usually would be. “Only you could make ice cream seem rubbish.”

“I don’t think ice cream is rubbish,” Was your only retort. You just wished gluten free cones didn’t look so fucking sad.

The owner handed you your cone and you paid him in cash. “Do you have WiFi in here?”

“Sure. Password’s on the wall up there.” He pointed at a laminated sign, and then turned his attention to Harry. “Hey, aren’t you that guy?”

Your cue to leave.

While Harry had an awkward conversation with the parlour owner about which guy he was, you connected to the internet and took a seat on the patio outside with your back to the sun. A satisfied hum left you at the warmth on your skin. You concentrated on demolishing your ice cream before you made a mess of yourself.

Unfortunately, Harry decided today wasn’t the day he was going to leave you alone. He sat down opposite you with a three-flavour cone, the colours unsettlingly unnatural. He looked uncomfortable, and this time it wasn’t because of you.

“What on Earth is that?”

“This is a masterpiece.” At least he could still behave like an idiot even when he’d been ‘spotted’.

“It looks disgusting.”

You watched him with a deep-seated discomfort as he shamelessly licked around his cone. Unfiltered moans came out of his mouth, but you were certain he was acting up for your benefit.

“What flavours are they?” You just had to ask.

“Mint chocolate, bubblegum and ginger.”

“Ginger?” You almost choked on a hazelnut. “Sir, you have a serious problem.”

He laughed again, that same obnoxiously easy sound as before. “Did you just call me sir?”

“I did and I immediately regret it.”

He made a noise, an amused squeak of sorts. “Why did you look so horrified by yours, anyway?”

You shifted in your chair, having just popped the end of the cone in your mouth. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure the owner wasn’t listening, pleased to find him distracted by a large family. “The gluten free options for cones was utter shite.”

“How so?”

“Well, he only had one type, and it was poxy as shit.”

He snorted. “I thought it looked small. I don’t imagine it being a lot of fun.”

You were immediately reminded of the croissant he’d picked up for you. You knew that you needed to say thank you, even if it did feel like taking a punch in the gut. “Thank you for the pastry.”

He paused mid-lick as if you’d just spoken a foreign language. He looked ridiculous and almost child-like, green eyes wide and pupils so narrow thanks to the sun they were barely visible. He rescued a drip before he made a mess. “Welcome. How is your…” he tapped his temple.

“Yeah, better.”

“Good.”

You returned to silence, and you got busy looking for a new place to stay. The options were… lacking. You knew the decision to go away during the school holidays would be a silly one anyway, but you wanted the heat. You wanted a summer holiday. Not a cold and wet one. But at such late notice in an area with limited options to begin with, all that was really left were large houses for groups of ten or places miles and miles away that would cost yet more money to travel to. The only other thing you could think of was buying a tent and pitching up on a nearby campsite, but you fucking hated tents and camping.

As time wore on and Harry’s ice cream disappeared, you noticed him growing more restless. You glanced up a couple of times to find him with his head down, but you eventually figured out the source of his discomfort. He was shooting looks at something over your shoulder while constantly readjusting his ball cap.

You straightened in your seat and twisted yourself slightly to get a better look.

“Don’t turn around.” He muttered without looking at you.

You frowned. “Why?”

He never gave you an answer so you did it anyway. A couple of tables over someone was doing a very bad job at hiding their phone.

For God’s sake. 

“Do you want to swap seats?” You offered.

He gave you a startled look, and admittedly you were surprised at your own suggestion. “No.”

“You sure? The back of your head is way less appealing than the front of it.”

You could see the confusion spread across his face and you wished immediately that you could take your words back. He was too wound up to mention it now, but you knew he definitely would in the future.

“They’ve already got about fifteen minutes worth of pictures, there’s no point moving now.” He huffed and readjusted the hat on his head once more, eyes downcast.

You pursed your lips in thought. After a moment you readjusted your seat so that you were hopefully positioned right in the way. Harry gave you a blank look, eyes still darting to the people behind you.

“Do you want to go?”

“Not particularly.”

You knew what he meant. He shouldn’t have to leave just because other people didn’t know how to behave like normal human beings.

A minute later the table behind you stood and left, so something had at least worked.

“Thank you.” He said it so quietly you nearly missed it. “Your lack of subtlety was almost entertaining.”

You weren’t offended by that. You hadn’t meant to be subtle. “I know we don’t get on but I respect your privacy. You should’ve asked them to delete it.”

“Then it just makes me look like a prick.”

“But you are a prick.”

He broke into another laugh. That laugh that held no malice or spite. The one he’d only debuted today. Then he slid back to stoicism. “I’ll be all over the Daily Mail again tomorrow anyway.”

Something weird happened. Anger materialised in your chest, and it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling in the slightest. What was unusual was that it came on Harry’s behalf. Usually you felt this way because of Harry, not for him.

You cleared your throat. “It’s okay to tell people to fuck off every once in a while, Harry.”

“Not when you’re me, it isn’t.”

“It is when people don’t know how to set boundaries.”

“Don’t worry about it. Seriously.” He readjusted his cap again and sunk further into his seat. “Not the first time I’ve been spotted on holiday.”

“With a mystery woman, no less.”

He snorted. “Sorry in advance.”

“For what?”

“You’re about to become the most interesting person on the planet. I’d privatise your Instagram.”

“It already is. Nor is it very interesting.”

“Just… I don’t know. I know what they’re like.”

“You think I give a shit what a bunch of people on the internet think about me?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

“Have I ever given a shit what anyone else has thought about me?”

He tipped his head. “No.”

“Exactly.”

“It’s their boundaries I’m worried about.”

“Don’t be. If those pictures do make it anywhere, I’ll have no problem telling the next person to fuck off if it comes to it.”

The smallest smile tugged at his lips. “Then I really hope for their sake that there isn’t a next time.”

~

You hadn’t left the parlour until you’d come up with a solution to your living arrangement. It took longer than you’d like, but eventually you settled for the only option; in two weeks you’d let Harry have the cabin and move into an AirBnB a few towns over. A bungalow this time with a very big bed. You’d had to fork out a deposit since it was a booking of more than 7 nights, which put another lovely dent in your bank balance. You were really trying not to think about it. 

Harry hadn’t passed comment when you told him. He just gave a blank stare and a curt nod, which was very unlike him. When it came to you, he’d never had any problem parting with his opinions.

You’d been ambushed on your way back to the cabin by your brother and Holly. After changing and freshening up you all walked down to the pub together to meet Holly’s Nanna. You had met her at the wedding but only briefly. Your brother and Holly’s special day had been somewhat dampened by the fact that Harry materialised again whenever you forgot about him and ended up drinking yourself into an early bedtime. The next morning you were rewarded with the worst hangover of your entire life.

Nanna was amazing. One of those larger than life women who weren’t afraid to drop the c word a couple of times without so much as batting an eyelid, and using Malibu as an excuse for a good time. You’d been seated on a round table which relieved you to no end. You were sandwiched between Nanna and your brother which meant there was a decent amount of distance between you and Harry.

“I need you to tell me something.” Nanna patted your arm, giving you her full attention.

It was like being addressed by royalty. “Anything.”

“I hear there’s a story about your brother involving nappies and toothpaste. A serial offence. He won’t tell me and Holly conveniently doesn’t know about it.”

You gave your brother a look.

“Please don’t.” He begged.

“But Nanna asked so nicely.”

“You’re about to embarrass me in front of the man I work for?”

You don’t look at Harry. “It’s not like you haven’t managed that all by yourself on previous occasions.”

“Yeah, don’t stop on my account.” Harry coughed, battling laughter.

“Great, we’re all on the same page.” You grinned. You turned back to Nanna, “Once upon a time, my little brother had to sleep in a crib and wear nappies just like all the other babies. He was cute, it should be said. I have a picture on my phone somewhere of him running around the garden with no clothes on.”

Your brother rolled his eyes and sunk into his seat with a scowl. Holly gave him a patronising pat on the shoulder.

“Anyway, beside the point. Like most toddlers he was an absolute tyrant, compared to me - I was an angel.”

“Hard to believe.” Harry muttered.

“Aye,” Nanna shot him a look. She’d been smitten with him all night until that point.

“Don’t worry about it - we’re in an ongoing feud.” You brushed the matter away and continued with your story. “During his reign of tyranny, he adopted a very obscure but passionate obsession with toothpaste. Colgate Cool Stripe only - no other product lived up to his expectations. It all started when, one day, our mother accidentally used adult toothpaste instead of the toddler stuff. An uphill battle began.

“Any time he had to clean his teeth, he’d try and use Colgate instead of the kiddy stuff, and mum or dad would fight with him until he surrendered in a screaming fit and had a toothbrush forced into his face hole.”

Someone sniggered, and your chest inflated. Making people laugh had always pleased you.

“His addiction got so bad, one night he managed to escape from his cot and into Mum and Dad’s bathroom. They found him on the floor with an empty tube and Colgate smushed all over his cute little face. Hours later he had a terrible accident. I won’t go into graphic detail since we’ve just had our dinner.”

Nanna started laughing, a throaty and hoarse sound. Given the amount of times she’d excused herself for a cigarette, you attributed that habit to the unique noise. “And this happened more than once?”

You nodded. “They tried locking it in the cabinet a few times, but he’d always find it. Eventually they changed tactics and just bought Aquafresh instead.”

Nanna hummed and gave him a pointed look. “I’ve always thought you were a picky bastard.”

“Nanna,” Holly gasped, shaking with laughter. She leaned her forehead against her husband’s shoulder.

“I can’t be that picky if I ended up with your granddaughter.”

Holly threw her hands up. “Does anyone else want to bully me today? Between that and being called very stupid I think I might have room for one more insult.”

“Your shoes don’t go with your dress.” Nanna said.

After a beat of silence, the table erupted into laughter.

The waiter returned to offer dessert, which you would usually forego since pubs rarely tended to offer gluten free choices without putting up a fight. You’d learned to live a sad, dessert-less existence. But everyone else was having one so you succumbed to peer pressure.

“What ice cream flavours do you have?”

“For the sundae?” The young girl asked with a confused frown.

“No, I’m coeliac so I can’t have it.”

“Oh,” her cheeks turned pink, which was not your intention, “sorry. Um, just the usual flavours, then.”

Neopolitan.

“Great, can I have two scoops of chocolate.”

“Sure.”

She was very quick to hurry off. Something bothered you about that whole exchange but you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Aren’t you bored of chocolate ice cream?” Harry asked, but he was fiddling with his napkin rather than looking at you.

“Never.”

Holly kicked his leg under the table but you pretended not to notice.

After the bill was settled, which Harry tried to sneak off and pay for without telling anyone, you bid goodbye to each other and sent your brother, Holly and Nanna off together in a taxi. The waitress hadn’t stopped giving you wary glances ever since you asked for ice cream, and you still couldn’t place what went wrong. You might have been a little short with her but it wasn’t meant with any malice.

It didn’t really dawn on you what was wrong until you were walking up the hill to the cabin with Harry.

A curdling feeling in your stomach had you feeling very queasy very quickly.

“Oh no.” You mumbled, keeping your gaze on the grass below you. Your vision swung and you struggled to keep your balance.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, turning back to you. He’d been a couple of metres ahead of you for the entire walk so you didn’t have to force a conversation.

You sat down on the grass to keep yourself gravitated, but it was no good. You weren’t nauseous because you were dizzy, you were dizzy because you were sick.

You spent the next ten minutes vomiting into the bushes.

Harry had kept a relative distance from you while you were sick, only handing you a bottle of water when you seemed to give up the last of your stomach contents and take a big breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a cautious voice.

Unattractively, you swilled your mouth out and then necked the remaining contents of the bottle. “Yeah, fine.”

“What happened?”

“I think something went wrong at dinner.”

“What do you mean?”

You gave him a levelled look, trying to communicate with your eyes. It seemed like a ridiculous idea considering you could barely communicate together with words, let alone silent glances.

“Ah… did it say gluten free on the menu?”

You nodded.

“Did you tell them?”

You shook your head. Sometimes you liked to put faith in humanity and believe you’d be fine putting yourself in the hands of others. When you were dining with practical strangers, making a fuss about your condition made you feel like a twat, so you kept quiet about it. Now you wish you’d said something.

“Are you gonna make a complaint?”

You shook your head furiously and readjusted yourself to sit back on your arse rather than your knees. “Happens all the time, sadly.”

“That girl knew they’d fucked up, didn’t she?”

“You saw that?”

“I saw you looking at her a lot after the ice cream thing.”

You made a strange noise. “It is what it is. I don’t blame her for not saying anything. For all she knows I could be going home unscathed.”

“But you’re not.”

“Don’t worry about it, Harry. I’m not into making a scene.”

“You could’ve been seriously ill.”

“I know that.”

“If you don’t tell them they fucked up, how are they going to know to stop it from happening to someone else in the future?”

You took a deep breath and looked up to the sky. You and Harry had made progress today, on some weird level, but this was not part of that progress. “Fine. I’ll do something about it tomorrow.”

“No you won’t.”

“Leave it alone, Harry!” You finally snapped. “How I handle my health issues is none of your fucking business, especially when you haven’t got a fucking clue what it’s like to have them. Just drop it.”

His jaw ticked. “Fine.”

He disappeared up the hill and into the cabin without so much as another word.

You collapsed onto your back and let a tight sob wrack through you.

You contemplated what the fuck you were doing. This holiday had been nothing but a shit show from start to day 2 and you didn’t want to do it anymore. You should’ve gone home this morning. You’d refused to quit so early on given how long it had been since you had any real time off, but the universe was clearly working against you and you wished you hadn’t bothered.

As it always did, a second round of vomiting ensued, and you were back on your hands and knees hacking up bile while your stomach protested. You cried more as you threw up.

As the convulsions subsided you collapsed onto your back again, but the smell of it was starting to affect you. Slowly, you stood on shaky legs and attempted to make your way up to the cabin.

You hadn’t realised, but Harry was standing at the top of the hill wearing a frown, hands shoved into his pockets. When you caught sight of him you were ashamed. You knew what he’d said came from a good place, but it just really ground your gears when people who had no idea what it was like tried to tell you how to handle it.

He made his way back to you and silently placed his hand on the small of your back. It was warm and unfamiliar, but you couldn’t work out if the trembling from you was because of that or because you were just sick.

“How much more did you see?” You asked, helpless.

He gave you a startled look, like he was shocked to hear you so vulnerable. “Enough.”

You sighed and kept your gaze on the floor, trying not to fall over.

“Do you have any medication or anything?”

You shook your head. “It doesn’t really work like that.”

Once you got to the cabin you headed straight for the bathroom and changed into your pyjamas. You then poured yourself a glass of water and took it to bed with you. You were asleep within seconds.

~

You slept through the night that night. When you woke you felt a shit-ton better than you had the night before, and it left you with a smile on your face. You wriggled your legs and toes underneath the sheets and stretched your arms.

You realised the bed was empty, but when you peeled an eye open it was obvious Harry had slept on his side at some point. You sat up to an empty room. There was no sign of Harry, again.

You didn’t know much about Harry’s daily routine but you would put money on him being an early morning runner. You shivered at the thought.

He appeared whilst you were in the middle of your second round of toast. It was the only thing you could think to try and stomach after yesterday’s disaster. Harry was in regular clothes, not running attire. You owed yourself a fiver.

“Ah,” he paused at the sight of you eating toast, and limply lifted his hand. The same greasy brown paper bag rustled in his grip.

“Don’t be shy.” You patted the table after swallowing your mouthful. “I’ll still eat it.”

“You’re that hungry?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s what happens when you’re forced to empty your entire stomach contents.”

His nose wrinkled. “Right.”

You took a sip of coffee while he made himself comfortable in the seat opposite you. 

“How do you feel?”

“Well, I slept the night through and didn’t hit my head this morning which is a major improvement on yesterday.”

“That’s something. Do you feel right enough to go out?”

“If I weren’t on holiday I’d be right back to work, Harry. No rest for the wicked and all.”

“Is that a yes, then?” He cocked a brow.

“Yes, Harry.”

“Okay. I was gonna go down to the lake… it’s really warm out.”

“Are you telling me, or is that an invitation?”

He picked his pastry apart. “Both? I don’t know, it might do you some good.”

Concern? From your nemesis? This was bad. “Oh, don’t go coy on me, Harry. It doesn’t suit you.”

“Knew I shouldn’t have bothered.”

“That’s more like it.”

His mouth lifted at the corner for the shortest fraction of a second.

“Is it pebbly or sandy?”

An olive branch.

“Both?”

The worst kind of lake beach, then. “The type that calls for a special type of shoe.”

He grimaced. “I know.”

“It’s fine. We make do.” You pronounced, and stood from the table with your dirty things. “Give me 20 minutes and we’ll go.”

~

“That alright?”

You peered up at the man blocking the sun with a pinched look. He stood before you in a faded white t-shirt and board shorts, holding an ice cream cone with a single chocolate scoop on top.

“As long as it’s the right cone, it’s perfect.”

“I double checked.” He promised as he handed it to you, and then sat with his own.

This was day four on the beach by the lake. While you and Harry spent the time there together, you did your own thing. He spent most of his time in the water like a fucking fish, and you spent yours on a towel with a book and enough food to feed the 5,000.

You’d found a tolerable medium with Harry. In the day you gave each other your needed space, and at night time you tried not to touch each other in bed. Or smother each other. So far it had worked well.

You hadn’t seen Holly or your brother since that night at dinner. They’d actually been visiting for a relative’s birthday party and had already gone home, leaving you and Harry to suffer together.

“I think you’re running low on your special bread.”

You snorted and covered your mouth. ‘Special bread’ made you sound like some kind of escaped lunatic.

“I don’t know why I said it like that.” Harry shook his head. “But the fact remains.”

“We’re running low on a lot.”

“Maybe we should go shopping.”

You groaned. This is what your life had come to: grocery shopping with a celebrity.

“I’ll make it as painless as possible.”

“Where even is the nearest supermarket?”

“I don’t know - I went shopping on the way here.”

“So did I.”

Has there ever been a more ridiculous conversation?

Harry found his phone and checked for signal, soon letting out a soft sigh. “Five weeks without WiFi was a stupid idea.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

You decided to check a map on the notice board outside the public toilets on the lake site and decided there must be a supermarket in the nearest town. Harry drove you out into the Scottish countryside following his sat-nav’s directions to the closest town.

It was a little odd being in the same car as him. While your brother’s work relationship and subsequent marriage had brought him into your life for many a family gathering, you’d never found yourself in quite such a confined space as this. Apart from the bed situation. You were certain he was being quiet on your behalf, because silence was better than small talk. The decision to go shopping had proven that much.

“Unbelievable.” He muttered the second you entered the supermarket.

You followed his nervous gaze to a man with a camera doing a shitty job at hiding. “Go back to the car if you want to.”

“Hardly fair.”

“Being uncomfortable isn’t fair.” You insisted. “Go take a drive and be back here in half an hour. I don’t mind.”

He sighed and handed you the list you’d prepared before leaving. “I’ll be back.”

“Yes, please don’t use this opportunity to abandon me here.”

He smirked. “Don’t put ideas in my head.” He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed you his card. “Use that.”

You frowned at it, and then him in turn. “I don’t mind paying for it.”

“Pay with my card and then send me half when you find signal or internet or whatever.” He turned away, but threw, “Half an hour,” over his shoulder.

You had to take a moment to collect yourself. Now you weren’t grocery shopping with a celebrity, you were using one’s credit card.

Before you started your shopping, you had one more thing you had to do. Stalking the man who was stalking your reluctant companion was easy because he didn’t try very hard to be subtle. You tapped him on the shoulder.

He spun around with a bewildered look on his face. “Yes?”

“Delete them.”

~

True to his word, Harry returned half an hour later with a confusing smile. “Guess what I found.”

You let him take the bags out of your hands to shove them in the boot of his car. “What?”

“A fucking Costa.”

“No way…”

“Yes way.” He grinned.

“Where?”

“Literally around the corner.” He thumbed in that general direction. “I got two ‘cause I didn’t know which one you liked.”

“As long as it’s got coffee in it, I’ll consume it.”

Sure enough, two starkly different iced coffees sat in the cup holders in his central console. 

“Which one do you want?” You asked. He did buy them after all.

“I don’t mind. You choose.”

“Please pick one.”

“No.”

“Harry.”

“Fine.” He plucked one at random and started drinking as he pulled off. “Happy?”

“Yes. Thank you.” And you meant it, too.

Silence settled between you again as you slurped away at your coffee. It was comfortable this time. You put the window down and stuck your arm out to feel the breeze through your fingers.

“Do you ever wonder how we got so…”

You looked over at him with a curious expression, but he never finished his sentence. “What?”

Harry shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Oh, come on, Harry.” You poked his arm. “You’ve never been one to mince your words in front of me before. Don’t start now.”

His lips twitched with a smile, but it was quickly replaced by something else. A kind of sad contemplation. “I don’t want to ruin a rare nice day.”

Now you were the one struggling to find words. Animosity was just the default practice for you and Harry when you were around each other. After so many years of battling over often ridiculous things, he was right. This was a rare nice day. You hadn’t argued once. Come to think of it, you hadn’t argued at all since the day you were sick. That little spat on the hill was the last one.

But curiosity ate away at you. What was he going to say that had the potential to ruin your good time? Knowing Harry, it could be any number of things.

“I promise I won’t lose my shit if you tell me.”

His face lit up with amusement, but he never laughed. “Shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Right there, in that single moment, you were reminded just why the world had an obsession with the man sitting beside you. Even in the blandest setting, Harry Styles looked like the man who would promise you everything you’ve ever wanted and be able to deliver it to you. The man who held enough charisma both on and off stage for a hundred other men. The man with pretty eyes and pretty pink lips. The man who looked damn good whether he was clean-shaven or harbouring two weeks of scruff like he was now. The man who would spoil you to no end, who would give you a life of comfort and stability, who would drop everything at a second’s notice to be yours. Fuck, he looked like the man who might even die for you.

You’d seen Harry in love and the man gave his whole fucking heart and soul to the person he was with. His inherent attractiveness was just a bonus.

“Tell me, please.” You tried again.

He considered it for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek. Eventually he sighed, “Do you ever wonder how things managed to get so bad? Between us?”

Ah.

A loaded question, indeed.

“Do you want the honest answer?”

He glanced your way, jaw suddenly tense. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t tend to wonder about it because I haven’t forgotten at all how we did.”

“Walk me through it.”

“Are you sure you want that?”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from the most honest woman I know.”

You were biding your time, mulling over your response. Perhaps this would ruin your nice day, but this was the most open conversation the two of you were ever going to have. Not talking about it would be both a missed opportunity and a disservice to yourself.

“Okay. You’re not going to like it, though.”

“I didn’t expect to.”

You took a deep breath. “The first time I met you didn’t go at all how I expected it to. In hindsight I guess, to you, I would’ve just been a footnote. Your friends have other friends you probably meet all the time and I was just one of the next hundred. Holly and my brother had only just started dating, but Holly and I got on so well we started doing things together as friends without him. She invited me to lunch with… you know, the usual suspects.”

He nodded once, slowly. The usual suspects he wasn’t speaking to anymore for various different reasons. You didn’t keep tabs on Harry’s life by choice, but Holly and the internet provided more about it than you cared for.

“Maybe you were just young. Or maybe there was something different that I just missed or didn’t understand, but you weren’t at all like I expected you to be. Everyone - my brother, Holly, my parents -, everyone said you were amazing. ‘The nicest boy you’ll ever meet’. And sure, you were nice. Charming, even. And you had everyone’s undivided attention, including Holly’s. And mine. But Holly’s more so.

“That girl loves you. And I watched her love you up close and personal and it was amazing and beautiful and I really wanted her to give just even a portion of that love to my brother. And she did, but it didn’t come without a fight.

“I didn’t care that you spent most of that lunch ignoring everyone else at the table. Or maybe I did. I just knew that you only cared about Holly’s undivided attention and she had no quarrels giving it to you. There was a time I thought you might be secretly in love with each other,” you laughed at the reminder because it seemed stupid now, “but when I brought it up with her she laughed so hard she cried and then pretended to vomit.”

“Damn,” Harry produced an offended laugh. “Didn’t know I was that repulsive.”

“Anyway, it didn’t stop her from loving you. Never has. Soon after, I spent a week with her and my brother in Spain on some all-inclusive thing. Before you ask, I was forced to go. Being a third-wheel is absolutely not my style.”

He chuckled. “I didn’t think it sounded like you.”

You shook your head. “Not at all. Anyway, I watched Holly send constant photos, messages, gifs, any and all digital media to you while we were on that holiday, cataloguing the entire thing. I don’t think you realise how many times I heard oh Harry’s gonna love this. But what got me is you never replying to her. Not once. Her phone screen was just a sea of blue messages against a backdrop of silence. At one point I considered she’d got the wrong number, but then you texted her the day we left with something really dull and generic and I really wanted to hit you.”

“I don’t remember this at all.” He admitted, face paled.

“That doesn’t surprise me. You’re a busy man. I reminded myself of that a lot to start off with, but the whole thing became a recurring pattern. Maybe you think I’m stupid and it’s a bit of an overreaction for it, but I’m quite observant when I want to be. You’re Holly’s best friend, even if she’s not yours. Every time she says it, it’s like she’s been given the greatest gift in the entire world. And she’s such a bright, incredible person. She’s my best friend. Not just because she’s married to my brother, but because she’s the best person I’ve ever met and nothing will ever change that.

“Over the years I’ve watched countless messages and phone calls from her to you go unanswered, seen her face turn down with sadness when you don’t call her back or text out a reply. She deserves more than that. 

“I’ve noticed you do it to my brother, too. I know he works for you so maybe it’s not the same, but it’s safe to say that in their house, Harry Styles isn’t a name that lights up their phone screens very often. Ever.”

Harry fidgeted a little and cleared his throat. “All this time I thought I’d done something to you.”

“No. Worse. You continually managed to upset my best friend, even if you didn’t know it, and in turn you upset me.”

“Then I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you need to apologise to, Harry. She’ll never admit that she’s hurt by your silence because she doesn’t want to lose you. This is why we’re so very different. I don’t hang around for people who don’t appreciate the good they have in their life. I’m a good person, and Holly is an even better one. She deserves more than your attention when she’s only sat in front of you.”

“You’re right. I’m an idiot.”

“Yes you are.”

His lips twitched again. “The next time I’m in the village with signal I’ll call her. Promise.”

“Don’t promise me. Promise yourself, and her. One day she might snap and decide she doesn’t want to wait for months at a time to hear from you. Because hearing about you through my brother doesn’t count.”

“I know. I get it, I really do…”

“Good. Now, my turn.” You let out a long breath and turned in your seat. “Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you-,”

“You called me both insufferable and intolerable in the space of five minutes when I got here.”

“Let me finish.” He said, exasperated. “I don’t hate you, I’m scared of you.”

“Calling someone intolerable because you’re scared of them doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, let’s put it this way. While perhaps you were right, at first I thought you were just another friend of a friend who’d made an appearance for uncertain reasons, it became apparent very quickly that you weren’t going anywhere. It also became very apparent that you were not my biggest fan. That first lunch was one of a kind because you barely said a word. Every other time after that, which I now realise happened to be family-oriented, you hardly shut up.

“I’ve always noticed it. You command the attention of everyone in the room. You’re a storyteller. You could turn an anecdote about a trip to the petrol station into a fairytale. You give everyone in the room your undivided attention, and when I realised you never gave it to me, well… safe to say I was wounded. Holly talked you up to high heaven. Your brother loves you. My own mother loves you even though we don’t get on.

“There’s something about you. And the fact that the only attention you ever gave me was a dirty look or a snippy remark made me petty. So I started giving it back, and I think the more I did it, the more I lost sight of the kind of person you actually are, because I only focused on the side you showed to me.”

He turned into the driveway of the cabin, and you thought he was done. But when the engine shut off, he said one last thing.

“In one of your many little outbursts you said I’ve got a severe case of oosoom syndrome. I never bothered to look it up because I didn’t want to know what kind of idiot you thought I was, but it’s just clicked.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

He nodded and turned to you with a calm gaze. “I get it now.” He wasn’t just talking about the idiom.

“Good.”

~

The rain was back and heavier than ever. The ground surrounding the cabin was a swamp, the hill that led down to the village was indiscernible thanks to the downpour, and the day was dark and moody. Inside the cabin it was muggy and humid and you felt ridiculous sitting at the dining table in a vest and denim shorts, but you were.

Harry sitting opposite you looked more rugged than usual. His hair was pulled back with a clip, his stubble was shifting into a beard and his clothes were wrinkled.

“Hmm…” He gave an obnoxious tap on his chin.

You rolled your eyes and sunk into the seat. “Just put me out of my misery and show me your cards.”

He laughed, peering at you with a lightness in his eyes that was so unfamiliar it almost had you shell shocked. “Fine.” He placed his hand on the table showcasing his win.

It was day three of this charade. It hadn’t stopped raining and all you’d done was cycle between card games and Monopoly. He always won. You were so fed up of him winning that this was the last straw.

You stood and swiped his hand off the table so that they landed in a flurry on the wooden cabin floor. 

“Hey…” he pouted.

“That was childish of me, I’m sorry.” You groaned, and crouched down to pick them up. “I’m so bored, Harry. I think I’m going mad. We don’t even have a TV. We’re in the middle of nowhere with a pack of cards missing the Ace of Spades and Queen of Hearts and an old beat up Monopoly box with half the properties missing.”

He blinked at me. “I know this. I’ve been with you the whole time.”

“Sorry.” You muttered. “When I’m frustrated I just state the obvious.”

“But I thought that was my job.”

You rolled your head back and sighed at the ceiling. “I need to do something. Anything. I don’t want to sit in here anymore. I need air.”

“It’s pissing it down.”

“I’m aware. You have a car… just humour me for a bit. An hour tops.”

“You want me to drive you around for an hour? In a smaller space than we’re already in?”

“Okay, fine,” you sat back down in your chair and attempted to plead with the normal side of him, the non-celebrity side, “what if… when me and my brother were little and we went away with Mum and Dad, if the weather was crap like this we’d get in the car and drive to the nearest supermarket. And we’d have lunch in the cafe and then do a bit of shopping and then come back. And we’d all get one thing to bide the time before the weather got better again. Why don’t we do that?”

A smile was forming on his lips. “You want to try shopping with me again?”

“That prick and his fancy camera won’t be going back there, trust me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why, what did you do?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” You patted his hand. “Please, Harry. Rescue me from insanity.”

“Fine, but only ‘cause you asked so nicely.”

“Yay!” You stood and clapped your hands together. “I’m gonna change.”

Half an hour later you were back at the supermarket in the town over and ready to find as much new entertainment as possible.

“Do you think we should buy them a TV?” Harry contemplated aloud as he stood in front of a large flatscreen.

You gave him a scrutinous look. “And put it where?”

“Good point.” He sighed. “We’re missing Love Island.”

You barked a laugh and carried it down the aisle with you. “That is not what I expected you to mourn over.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

You found your way to the games and books. “Can we get a jigsaw puzzle?”

“Why are you asking me? Get whatever you want, mate.”

You perused the options with as much interest as a car fanatic in a vintage car garage. “Farmyard or harbour? Or circus? Or mountains?”

“Whichever will keep you occupied for the longest.” He said absently, moving down the aisle to the board games.

The circus one had the most pieces and highest level of difficulty, so you plucked the box off the shelf and followed after him. “Have they got the Game of Life?”

He started laughing but never answered you.

“Oh,” you pouted, tapping the spin-off version that was much shorter and way less entertaining.

“Bop-It?” 

“When I was little I completed that.”

He raised a brow at you. “Can you even complete Bop-It?”

“Yes,” you snatched the box off the shelf, “and I will prove it to you when we get back.”

“We’ll see about that.” He whispered, smirking. “We need an actual board game.”

You gazed over the options with the same level of interest as the jigsaws. “You choose. I’ve picked the last two.”

“Absolutely not, I’ll only pick wrong.”

“What’s your favourite?”

“Cluedo.”

“Then get Cluedo.” You pointed at it and walked away.

Two hours later and three books heavier you were back at the cabin and starting your jigsaw puzzle. You and Harry sat on your claimed sides of the table, box lid propped against the window and a selection of snacks between you.

“Where the fuck is the fourth corner?” You grumbled, digging through the box like a cat in a litter tray.

Harry glanced at the box lid, then at the jumbled selection of tiles, and plucked it out without hesitation. “There y’go.”

You blinked at him. “Is there anything you’re not good at?” You pinched it from him and placed it in the relevant corner. “Thank you.”

“A compliment and gratitude? It is a good day.”

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“I’m not very good at the splits.”

That made you laugh, right from the back of your throat. “Have you tried?”

“Many times.”

“For what purpose?”

“I had a thing for my yoga instructor once and she was convinced I could do it so I kept trying just to impress her.”

“My God, you are a sap.”

“Pathetic, isn’t it?”

“It’s nice to know you failed at something for such a pitiful reason.”

He gave you such a megawatt smile you had to look away. “I’m just like any other boy.”

“I can’t believe you had to try hard to impress anyone. It almost doesn’t seem natural.”

“You make me sound like a robot.”

“I don’t think you’re a robot. I just think sometimes things seem to come a little too easily to you. Skills. Work. Friends. Women. Probably men, too. Some of us have to try really hard to get those things.”

“You have friends. A good job. And I refuse to believe people aren’t interested in you… romantically.”

You lifted a brow at him. “Refuse?”

“Are they not?”

“Have you ever known me to be ‘romantically’ involved with anyone?”

“Yeah, that lad you took to your brother’s wedding.”

Colin.

“He’s gay.”

“Oh.” He scratched his nose. “I wondered why he kept eyeing up one of the groomsmen. Your cousin?”

“Also gay.”

“Have you never had a boyfriend?”

“Not since school, no.”

“Have you… are you… you know?”

You gave him another raised brow. “You’re not seriously asking me that.”

He rubbed his hands down his face and groaned. “I’m sorry. Ignore me.”

“Just because I haven’t had relationships, doesn’t mean I’m a virgin, Harry.”

The tips of his ears turned pink. “I think we’ve gone a bit off track here.”

“You’re tellin’ me.”

He slotted a piece into place next to one of the corners. You slotted another one in after that. The pattern repeated itself, in silence, for the next twenty minutes.

“When do you go to your AirBnB?”

You met his gaze with a calm expression. “Six days. Five nights.”

“Okay.” He said as he stood. “Are you hungry enough for dinner yet?”

“If you are, we can eat.”

He gave a stiff nod. “Okay.”

~~~

Part 2

Talk to me?

[tw1stedthicket]

Sooo I have this big huge fucknormously tedious midterm assignment for one of my classes and it isn't due until the 28th, but I'm going out of town this weekend and don't want to take up valuable time doing schoolwork. So I am trying to do it now and gave myself a deadline of today to instill some kind of time sensitivity and of course didn't begin it until 10:30 pm, but I did kinda know I would do that and save it for the last minute so I prepared myself for an all-nighter. The thing is, I tend to be exhausted after work, but thing lucked out today so that I had errands to run after work, building my momentum up and keeping it going. I also had a nice chai latte that gave me a joy debuff for a while. I started a good YouTube video with some brown noise that my brain has just filtered into the constant background buzzing of my mind and I have been locked tf in. I told myself that tonight was a work-extravaganza to get done all my shit I need to get done (and simultaneously trick my brain into thinking it's Nighttime Fun Time since We're Up - which did work - having revenge bedtime procrastination right). I also bribed myself by finalizing some things on the internet I ideally would like to buy (colored markers and glittery watercolors and organizer bins!) and will order something as a reward for getting all this done. Drank an energy drink at like 11 something. I am plugging and chugging away but I do kinda feel that I am experiencing exhaustion. My vision is fuzzy and I'm starting to see glimpses of the Hat Man. But I think I also just realized I haven't eaten in like 13 hours, wtf. I literally forgot food was a thing.

Why does it seem like once I found out I have ADHD I got so much worse. I mean, it's always been like this, but I was never so aware of it. I never really questioned it but was just like, "Eh, my brain's broken and I'm a fucked up person with crippling perfectionism that has to hack my brain and will forever live fucked-up-ly and I will probably burn out one day and never be able to work again or have compassion for people, but oh well, gotta do what I gotta do, but at least I get it done and ace everything I do, so it must be working!" Now I'm like godDAMN IT WE NEED TO GO TO BED. We NEED TO DO THIS THING. It's almost like my brain is an angsty child and all along I've been criticizing it and telling it to shut up, which... isn't great, lol. But now I know better and am hearing them out but all they wanna do is scream. I am screaming on the inside

[shahronak47]

Do you believe in magic? Because, I do....

Magic #1 -

I think I have told this story multiple times in some part or form but it is relevant in this context as well so let me tell it again.

I was fresh out of college with no job. In those days getting a job was really important for me. I don't exactly know why but maybe because I had spent 4 years for my engineering and it was quite "shameful" for me to be still unemployable. To add to the pressure many of my friends already had the job and here I was struggling to get one.

I finally managed to get one job which was far from what I wanted to do. It was like a customer support job but for US MNC's. I was working to help employees of American Express if they face any technical issues with their computer. Helping people fix their computer is not something that I had imagined I would be doing when I was doing my engineering but nonetheless right now the priority was to get a job first. So I accepted this job. I had told myself that I will continue looking for another job while I am doing this job.

Fast forward 6 months and I am still at this job. I haven't really cracked any other job opportunities and whatever little it was there to learn in this job I have already learned it. After the initial excitement about the new job faded away I started getting worried again. I see people around me here who have been working at this job for 5-6 years and nothing has changed for them. I didn't want to be one of them. It is ok if this is something that you would like to do but for me the plan was always to move to a better role which was not happening. I started thinking what is it that I am doing wrong and what is it that I can change? I started having difficult conversations with myself and then gave myself a hard deadline. I gave myself one month from that day and told that I would resign on that day irrespective if I have a job or not. Month passed by and I did not get the job so I had to remain true to myself and I resigned on that day with a month of notice period now to serve. This was a difficult period for me and I started making plans on what I am going to do after my job is over and I start sitting at home.

On last day of my notice period I got a call from a company to attend an interview. On that day I was doing 9 pm to 6 am shift, yes it was a night shift and then they had called me for an interview at 10 am next day. I think I slept for an hour and went for the interview directly. The interview had multiple rounds and they did all the rounds on the same day . My interview finished at 4 pm, I came home had my lunch/dinner and then finally slept for a while as I was officially out of job and had nowhere to go to.

After couple of days, I got a call that I have received the job which I had interviewed for. I was so happy that day and finally all the doubts that I had about me quitting my job without any offer vanished away in a second. How did it happen suddenly? I was actually looking for a job this entire 8 months period when I was at a job which I didn't like. Did I gain some new skillset suddenly? No. Did the requirement of hiring freshers change suddenly? No. Then what exactly changed now? Few people term this as luck, I was just lucky. Few others term this is as me being present on right place at right time. However, I term this as magic. It was no short of magic for me what had happened. Even today when I think about it I am very much surprised on the chain of events that happened.

Magic #2 -

Next magic was when I am working at my new job, the same job that I got above and I form a group of friends that I have lunch with. After lunch we used to take a walk for 5-10 mins to digest our food and like us there were other groups as well who used to do the same. There I used to see one girl in a group. We didn't know each other, we were not part of the same company. We became curious about each other, found each other online and started talking. Fast forward 4 years, we got married.

Our love story is a very filmy story and honestly till this date I don't believe that this is something which happened to me. I will share the complete story sometime, it's very interesting (at least for me!) but for now what I want to convey is that I was very lucky in the way I met my wife, I was very lucky in way we took things forward and when you get lucky so many times in a row I don't think this is luck anymore. It is purely magic because you cannot explain it by any logic. It just happened. There is someone somewhere sitting to align things perfectly for you. It is no longer just a co-incidence or luck.

Magic #3 -

I have been living in Malaysia for 7 years and the plan was to always come back to my hometown in Pune, India. Initially when I came to Malaysia my idea was that I would stay here for 3-4 years and then come back but after those initial years passed by I started looking for the "right time" to pack my bags. Sometimes I was not ready, sometimes my wife was not ready, sometimes my promotion was round the corner, sometimes I didn't want to leave my job etc. There were always reasons. Finally, when I completed my 6 year mark I started thinking about returning back seriously. I realized that I am just making excuses and the time will never be right for it. I have to take a decision and make it right myself.

Leaving Malaysia would also mean that I have to leave my job which I loved. I was working with Roche and actually Roche had an office in Pune. However it was of no use to me. Roche is very big organization so they have companies within a big company. So I was working for company A in Roche but the Pune office was for company B. Yes, I can get transferred to company B of Roche but it was very unlikely because my manager, my project team members are all sitting in company A and they have no influence or control on decisions of company B. It was as good as finding a new job and I knew it. So I knew that I had to leave my job when I decide to move back to Pune. I am thinking all this and suddenly my company A announces that they are opening a new center of excellence in Pune and I immediately grabbed on to this opportunity to take my case forward. I now knew it is now up to the people I know to whether or not to transfer me to Pune and they did make it happen. So grateful to all of them and today as I write this I am sitting on the airport catching my final flight from KL to Pune after all my transfer paperwork is done.

How did this happen? How I could be on the same job and be at a place where I want to be? Well some say it is a co-incidence, some say it as luck however, for me it is magic. There is definitely someone who is taking care of me :)

[forcingtumbles]

I feel like im going insaaannneeeee

my mother had a VERY severe injury at the start of this month which will prevent her from walking independently for another 4 months at best. My brother and I (with lots of support from my husband, too) have been caring for her this entire time because she needs 24/7 assistance. My narcissistic father has taken her to doctors appointments throughout the month/stayed in the hospital during her multiple surgeries, but has otherwise probably contributed less than 24hrs of care to her across the entire month. He'll pick up 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, and maybe take a 2hr nap in the same room as her every so often which frees my brother and I to leave the room for a few moments. But boy do we have to scrape for that support. He's also thrown two major blow-out tantrums since mom's accident:

#1) he threw things all over the place in front of my mom while screaming at her and inanimate objects right before mom had visitors over. He only partially cleaned it up in time.

#2) he screamed at her for like 5 uninterrupted minutes basically calling her stupid and unhelpful. And this was because she had been expressing concern that he wasn't working efficiently enough to meet a deadline for his home business-- a home business that hes sunk over half a million dollars into (almost every dollar of my parents savings) with no major profits to speak of (i think hes gained back like 100k across 10 years AT BEST).

He is incapable of completing the simplest tasks without asking her or me a dozen questions that we don't know the answers to because he has what is needed to complete the task-- reading instructions for "cooking" a simple breakfast, or reading symbols to determine if a dish is dishwasher safe, for instance. He even gave her a pile of clean clothes to help him fold despite the fact that she has to stay very still or else she worsens the pain of her leg injury.

And he is bitching about every simple menial task that the rest of us do without giving a second thought, like getting groceries.

To top it all off, he (surprise surprise) isn't paying an ounce of attention to my moms condition, physical or emotional. Today, a new development was that she became extraordinarily nauseous. He suggested three different times that she eat something within the span of like 30mins after she said she doesn't even wanna hear mention of food from being so extremely nauseous. That was at breakfast, then he did the exact same thing at dinner when she was even worse than beforewhich made her gag.

I wanna grab him by the shoulders and shake the egocentrism out of him.

Hes always hated me and fawned over my brother (which drives my brother up the wall from too much of his obnoxious attention). Anything i say to him, he spins into "You just dont think i can do anything right, ever!!" My brother is too conflict avoidant to stand up to him when hes making my mother or any of the rest of us miserable (which I can understand, seeing as we had to fend for ourselves emotionally growing up around such an active volcano of unpredictable emotions).

But my mother tolerates aaaallll of this and makes constant excuses. I think she might finally be seeing how little hes willing to do for her despite all that shes sacrificed for him, cuz in the past few years and particularly the past few days, she hasnt been as adamant about searching for excuses for his unforgivable behaviors and selfishness. When I was a religious child, I used to pray that they would divorce. I still dont think they will, but I sure hope that all this bullshit will at least illustrate to her that he has never loved any of us because hes too full of blind love for himself.

My husband has had a huge problem with my father in particular lately because we're supposed to be moving into a new place together. But instead, I'm having to dedicate myself to acting as my mother's spouse, "in sickness and health," because my father wont. Even before now, I've always played my mother's emotional spouse because my father is so emotionally and verbally abusive or neglectful. Im just sooooo sick of this shit. The entire family would have such an easier time taking care of my mom if my dad were just not in the picture at all, I swear.

Rant over sorry to clog any dashes

[bubsub69]

Entry 10

4/6/2023 00:13

happy entry number ten, just kinda procrastinating studying for internet security.

I used one of the starters, if she found any of the ads and unfortunately she said she hasnt but said she's looking which i guess shows that she still cares about me but my anxiety wont let me believe it, ive tried talking to a couple more people on femdompersonals but i havent gotten any replies, even if i wanted to move on from her its kinda hard since no one else gives a fuck about me, whats annoying is that i "can't" make an ad myself on it because she could see it and i dont want anything that could risk this at all, and its not like im missing much, when i posted it i got 2 replies, her and someone who i skypped with who got bored of me and never talked with me again, i didnt either to be fair but yeah, though even if its just 2 people seeing those notifications felt really fucking nice, and seeing someone that opened as a human being and seemed to show actual care would be a nice feeling to repeat, but yeah i dont want to risk her seeing my post in case she follows me.

I don't know what else to write i just want to not study security but its only like 1 more week then working on the project so i just gonna push through for a bit more..

I'm getting really attention starved, just seeing a notification that i think is from someone but turns out to be an auto message absolutely crushes me, i just wish she talked to me, what do i have to do to get that, try to drop a mistery? tell her of something that im gonna do in the future? i'd just like to look at my phone for once and see a notification from her out of nowhere, but i guess i have nothing interesting going on for her to want to talk with me.

She also posted on twitter, cant belive its been only a week since she made it it feels like i've checked that thing for a month, time can really move weird, school deadlines are coming in super quickly and yet trying to wait my being annoying cooldown to talk with her seems to take forever, but yeah she posted 2 memes on the 30th which surprised me cause apparently i spent 2 days without checking it but she also complained about not being used to kilos and i replied with a little joke to it, no response from there either and that was like 2 days ago but i guess theres really no big reason to answer me there, and she might not even know it was me who commented that.

but hey at least stalking her twitter gave me another small topic to talk, unit problems, maybe itll go well with asking how her portuguese is doing

but yeah another day another 24h of trying to get her to talk to me, maybe i should just go all in and ask her if she wants to hear my boy moans since she considers that erotica inspiration, i should probably also hear more of her audios just to try and get some more starters out of it if i can push through the crushing loneliness i get from hearing it, but i guess i should wait for the important deadlines to be over to do it.

Heres to hoping she starts a conversation of literally anything, even if its to tell me to go fuck myself so i can completely move one guilt free and with a crushed soul and 3 liters of tears lost.

Oh also that ace thing kinda of faded away on day 3, she's not completely gone but not really been showing up, neither has the bad one either so thats good i guess.

pls fucking text me

[kimbap-r0ll]

I wanted to let you know that the real reason why I gave you so many requests within a few days is because 1. I know you're going to close your ask box on Halloween and 2. It's because I have (vocational) school and I feared that the ask box will close in on me if I didn't request in time.

Look, I get that you're interested in my writings and that's totally fine. I don't know if you're the anon that apologized earlier, so I'm going to assume that you aren't just because I don't know who you are.

I get that you might've felt urgent. For some people they request once and they're satisfied, for some they want more. Everyone has their preferences and I get it. But saying that you were worried the inbox would close on you makes it seem like I'm some kind of machine. I'm not. I'm doing this for my own enjoyment and there is a deadline for the inbox because of my mental health.

I have 53 in my inbox. It's a big number, nothing against people requesting, but you need to understand that I can get up to this many asks even when opening my box for less than two weeks (about 10 days I think). I started out with an open box for two months when I got an ask per week, but it's gotten to a point where I can get 50 asks about many characters in a few days.

I don't like being upfront with things like this because it leaves me feeling upset, but I want you to understand that you will be fine if you don't "make it in time." I am a human with a life outside of writing fanfiction, I need my own time to myself.

With that, I will be closing my inbox tomorrow. I don't know when I will open it again, and next time I will have to be more considerate about circumstances like this. Whether or not I lengthen or shorten the time I take requests will be up to my health.

[bisamwilson]

fanfic writer asks

Tagged by: @oftincturedwords​, thank u!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

221,815! which is wild

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

you’ll only find things for the mcu/tfatws bc i orphaned a bunch of really old fics from when i was a (pre) teen, but back in the day i also wrote for divergent, pjo, les mis, and i think a few others

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

oh so saccharine (304)

i wanna hear it loud (292)

religion (u can lay your hands on me) (290)

renaissance man (263)

i just met you (and this is crazy) (256)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

the star wars au! it’s still a hopeful sort of angsty i think, but that whole fic is mostly just pining and feelings that don’t really get resolved so,,,, definitely not SUPER angsty, but more angsty than i usually go for

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i feel like most of my fics have happy endings bc i just can’t write angst for too long adkjfhs, but stuck in the middle with you filled my “happy ending” sam wilson bingo square, so i’m gonna go with that one

7. Do you write crossovers? If so , what is the craziest one you’ve written?

nope! i’ve never been a fan of reading crossovers, so i’m not really keen to write one either. i’ll write an au all day, but i’m prob not going to have jim and spock time travel back to meet sam and bucky, yk?

8. Do you write smut? If so , what kind?

oh boy do i! 50% of my published works are rated E asdjkf. i’m not really sure what the “what kind” question is asking? like is this asking if i write m/m, f/f, m/f? if so, i’ve only ever written m/m(/m) but could be open to writing f/f if i come across a ship i want to write for it! i can’t see myself writing m/f smut ever, but maybe one day. if it’s asking what i usually write about, i’ve written many a sex scene with many a kink between sam and bucky, but i guess i usually write top bucky more than top sam (though i’m a firm believer they do switch, bucky just tops 75-90% of the time)

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes! i usually end up responding to comments around the time i post my next fic asdfjk but i read them all as soon as i get that email from ao3! i respond to comments bc sometimes people have things to add on to or ask about a fic and i want to engage, but even when it’s just a “this is great!” i want to say thank you so they know i saw and appreciated their comments!

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not hate per se, but i have had a couple people comment “this is great, but i think i would’ve written x” which i promptly delete without responding. also to that one person who commented on my consensual somnophilia fic saying they kind of hoped sam would moan out someone else’s name while asleep, we have very different opinions on the type of person sam is.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! and hopefully i never will, that would be heartbreaking

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope! if anyone would ever want to translate my fic they’re welcome to tho and i’d love to get linked to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nothing published, but @yammz and i started a 5+1 sbj fic where bucky is a menace about sexting when sam and joaquín are on missions! it’s admittedly been a while since we’ve worked on it though, it’s been a busy summer (and i have so many other writing deadlines rip)

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i mean the fact that it inspired me to write fic and gave me such a wonderful and vibrant online community i’ve never had before means i feel like i gotta write sambucky here, but spirk comes in a very close second!

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

as much as it pains me, probably the sbj fic where they’re in an angle relationship with sam in the middle but buckyquin are still pining for each other/thinks the other dislikes them but joaquín gets caught up in a post mission celebration and smacks bucky’s ass playfully and it becomes a Whole Thing. i started it with multiple povs and that is,,, too daunting for me

also jury’s out on whether i’ll ever finish the sam with an eating disorder fic. it’s a bit too personal and i have to make sure i’m not triggering myself while writing it/i’m in a good headspace to do so

16. What are your writing strengths?

i feel like i’m pretty good with dialogue? i write a lot of it and i generally like how it ends up. i also feel like i’m good with characterization, at least with sam and bucky in particular, and i’m really proud of the way i’ve developed them as i write each fic, and the headcanons i come up with and incorporate

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i hate writing ending lines!!!! i feel like 80% of my ending lines suck and i’m consistently insecure about them and i agonize over them so often or just write a placeholder that ends up in the actual fic bc i couldn’t think of something better

also i love that i feel like i have a writing style, but sometimes i wonder if it’s too much? like if my particular style gets too repetitive the more fics i put out yk? 

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i don’t usually do it, mostly bc i only speak one language fluently and my latin/korean (which i took in school) are rusty at best and entirely gone at worst. i enjoy seeing other people do that though, though i will admit i get kind of annoyed when it doesn’t get translated after or in author’s notes, mostly bc google translate never translates anything just right

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

divergent asdfjkahs. i was like 11 and i wrote a small fic (probably 1000 words max) that was some type of character study of tobias i think

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i mean the obvious answer here is the princess diaries au bc it’s my baby BUT i’m actually really proud of my star wars au. it’s been a while since i’ve written something and been like “yeah this is really good work and i’m very proud of this” and that’s how i felt when i published that

this one is SUPER long, so very much no pressure tagging @livingincolorsagain, @logicheartsoul, @firstelevens, @yammz, and @obsessivelymoody

[r-ene]

05.25.22

it's only been two days but i feel good about myself :)

morning work outs

breakfasts - which i dont usually do

early sleep time - 12mn as of current, last week for several days my sleep time was 4am... heh, progress, right? and today i woke up at 4am to study before class starts

light lunch or no lunch - thinking of this as an intermittent diet that's why i try to eat a healthy and heavy breakfast

break time nap time - usually our classes have a minimum of 10 minutes, so there's time for a nap !!

been making studying entertaining - this started when mama first gave me a bowl of popcorn while i do some readings and until now it makes things even better (or i just really like popcorn)

tea time - brought this back !! while i digest my dinner i've been drinking peppermint tea while studying before i go to bed

samsung alarm - i feel like everyone knows the difference of intensity a samsung alarm and an apple alarm has. calmer alarm = less panic in the morning

next week's already my finals and i feel it's important i feel good and a bit calm this week so as to not bring the stress and anxiety along with the standard set of negative energy that's already there during exams, haha

also, correct me if i'm wrong with the usage of the term, i find it funny how, as a coping mechanism to stress, i have been regressing - listening to disney songs and as of today, started to rewatch children shows like backyardigans and little einsteins. deadlines have been the major cause of my stress this week because we have a minor subject that gave 20+ activities and I just want things to get done real quick because I want to focus on studying for my majors

i hope everyone's doing well !! goodluck on exams, deadlines, work, studying ++, Ponyo's transforming for additional luck, she says (did she tho? haha)

[literature-cult]

idk why im writing this but i just feel the need to let this out somewhere.

so, starting from tomorrow, i'll be having my exams. and its still not decided whether they will be online or face to face. we'll get to know today. and honestly, im not prepared. its been almost two years since i've given actual exams and this time around, i have absolutely no motivation to study. i've tried so many techniques and everything, i tried to take part in that 50 days of productivity challenge, and gave up a week in, i made planners and organizers and whatnot but i just cant get myself to study.

in the beginning, i kept telling myself that i would study later, that i have a month, a week left. now i have less than 24 hours and ive been praying so so much that we get the announcement that the exams will be online. the thing is, i've always been an over-achiever in my academics and this time, i feel like im not half as prepared as i should be and the thought is eating me alive. i woke up at 4 am with the intention to study but have actually focused for 20 minutes max. i dont know what i'll do if they announce that the exams are going to be held face to face. and its like, i have all these expectations to fulfill. expectation of my mom, my family and even myself. i doubt i'll be able to look at myself in the mirror if i dont get the high scores i usually get, and thats not to add what my mother will think.

this is the first time exams have really got to me. yes, i've kinda procrastinated sometimes, but deadlines and expectations always had me finish whatever i had to do even if it was 11pm and an hour before the deadline. now i just dont have it in me. maybe its the laziness, or the stress or both. but i just cant. its almost 10 am rn and i have my last class in half an hour before exam season officially starts. at this point, even the anxiety has wore off and im left with this strange feeling of nothing. like, i'd feel nothing if i just closed my computer right now and just...went to sleep. but obviously it'd all catch up when im giving my exam. the exam is in exactly 23 hours and i dont know what to do. and its math for god's sake.

now im really sorry for venting out here like i am, but i dont know what to do. right now all the students are just waiting for the government's decisions, and i should be studying regardless of whether they'll be online or not. bu everything seems to be slipping from my fingertips. and there's just so much material to cover. hell, i've forgotten topics i was sure i'd know and dont even get me started on the ones i didnt attend lectures to. its just all so...not me. normally, i'd never miss lectures, or be behind on school work, or even worry about exams for that matter. but these aren't normal times and i feel so screwed.

[adezahnae]

While We’re on a Little Trip (Part 2)

A/N: Here is Part 2 of While We’re on a Little Trip!! Enjoy😊❤️

Warnings: Smut, morning fuzzy sex, oral (male and female receiving), cursing, slight fighting, slut-shaming, Y/n snaps XD

Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa

Your POV

Today is the day...I finally graduated from High School! I jumped out of bed and ran to the closet. I heard Jaehyun stir awake. “Princess?” He called in his morning voice. I bit my lip. “Good Morning!!” I replied in a sing-song voice. He chuckled. “I’m surprised you’re still able to walk.” He said. I smiled and went back to him, crawling on his lap. “Maybe it’s just you getting too old for me..” I said teasing him.

He quirked an eyebrow. “I’m getting old?” He repeated. I nodded my head biting my lip. He held onto my hips and pushed me down on the bed, crawling on top of me. “Jae! What are you doing?” I squealed. “You think Daddy’s getting old?” He asked kissing my neck. I giggled. “Noo! I apologize!” I said. “Daddy’s gonna make you pay for that...” He whispered in my ear. “But I have to get ready!” I whined. “It’s only 10:34, your graduation doesn’t start until 12.” He said.

“But I’ll take forever!” I tried to protest. “I can wait. You’re gonna pay.” He said with a teasing smile. He traveled down to in between my legs and spread them. He took of my underwear and threw them behind him. I giggled and then let out a moan as he began kissing on my nub. His tongue flicked it and I arched my back. “Daddy..mmm...” I moaned.

He slipped his tongue past my folds and made patterns. I felt him place two fingers inside. I gripped his hair. “Yesss!!! S-So good!!” I moaned. He then pulled away and turned me around my stomach. He gave me a smack on my butt making me jerk forward with a nasty smile. He lifted up my hips and pushed inside me. He started off at a hard pace. I gripped the sheets and yelled out in pleasure. “Is Daddy still old?” He asked me as he spanked me. I shook my head. “No! Daddy’s not old!” I said.

“Are you gonna take it back then?” He asked me. I nodded. “Uh Huh! Ohhhh my gosh I’m close!” I cried. He went faster and I released on him. He pulled out and kissed my back. He landed a hard smack that made a tear form in my eyes. He seen it and kissed my cheek. “Now apologize.” He said. “Sorry Daddy.” I said. He pulled me back up and kissed my lips. “Daddy forgives you.” He said. I smiled and pushed him against the pillows. “Can I finish you off Daddy?” I asked. He nodded. “Yes you may...” I took him inside of my mouth, still tasting myself on him.

He groaned and ran his fingers through my hair. I went faster and sucked harder. He threw his head back. “Good job Princess..” He whispered. I smiled and continued to give him head. He began to force down my head at a fast pace, while he’s groaning. “Right there Princess, don’t stop...” He whispered. I felt him getting bigger in my mouth, signaling that he’s close. Just as he was about to release, his phone rung. He groaned out in annoyance and grabbed his phone.

He rolled his eyes at the caller ID. “Who is it?” I asked. “Your mom.” He said. “She still has your number?” I asked sitting up. “During our divorce, I was told to still keep contact with her until you graduate from school. You can keep going she’s not important.” He explained. I gave him a funny face and shrugged my shoulders. Why would I pass up on giving this man head? “Hello?” He answered while leaning his head back, trying to keep in his moans.

“Hello Jae. What are you doing?” She asked. “I’m getting head, why?” He replied bluntly making me giggle. “You’re still fucking my daughter huh?” She sighed. “Yes now what is it that you want Mia?” He asked. “I just miss you but you’re still there fucking my daughter like the slut she is!” She yelled. I frowned at her words. His hand came to my cheek and caressed it. “It’s okay.” He mumbled. I smiled and kissed his hand, continuing to suck him off. He groaned out and placed a hand on my head.

“I hate you so much...” She said. “That makes two of us...fuck baby don’t stop, just like that.” He moaned. I heard my mom groaned out and hang up the phone. He hung up as well and threw his phone on the side table and leaned his head back. He finally released in my mouth and I swallow. I pulled away and looked up at him. He gave me a kiss on my forehead. “Thank you Princess..” He said. I nodded. “You’re welcome..” I said. “Go and get ready. We have to be there by 11:30.” He said. I nodded and went to go and get my dress and graduation gown from the closet.

I sat in my seat for the graduation, nervous as ever. It was a good type of nervous. I was one of the students who were next in line for my diploma. My group finally made it up stage and I seen that Jaehyun was in the crowd looking at me. “You’re beautiful.” He mouth to me. I smiled and nod slightly. “Miss. Jung Y/n.” The Principal called out. I heard everyone clap and cheered for me as I accepted my diploma. I seen that Jaehyun was recording me while he clapped.

I smiled and waved at the camera. He smiled back and waved at me. “She will now like to give a speech.” The principal said. I went up to the podium and cleared my throat. “To everyone here today, getting their diploma, I’d like to say that we made it! Through the struggles of meeting deadlines, the feeling of being at the bottom because we couldn’t get a grade up, and mainly, the feeling of just wanting to give up. We made it here, to this stage, with the help of ourselves, our parents, our mind, and our teachers. I know many of you know my dad, Mr. Jung. He also one of the number one teachers here. He helped me through it all, not because I’m his daughter but because he cares. He cared for all the students that he had taught and even the ones in the entire school. He wouldn’t of build the school if he didn’t care about the students. He gave me the power I need to push through it all, even when him and my mom we’re going through a divorce. He kept my head up. He did the same for all of us, we must do the same for him in the future. Why? Because we are the future. Class of 2020 is the future...Thank you all..”

I bowed to the crowd as the clapped and cheered loudly. I looked up at Jaehyun to see him with a smile on his face. I blew him a kiss and he blew one back. “I love you.” He mouthed. “I love you too!” I mouthed back. I took my way down the stairs and back to my seat.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” I heard friends, students, and my family yelled as I walked through the door of me and Jaehyun’s house. I gasped and covered my mouth. I squealed and hugged Jaehyun who was behind me. “Thank you soo much Daddy! Truly!” I cried. He hugged me back and comfort me. “It’s okay, Princess. You did it, not me.” He said. I lifted my head up and he wiped my tears. He kissed my forehead and smiled at me. “Go and get ready for your party!” He said. I ran up the stairs and went to our closet to pull out my dress. I got dressed in it and went back downstairs to enjoy my party. Everything was perfect, it was amazing. I was having such a good time with everyone and getting presents from everybody. I looked over to see my mom, storming in the door. She went straight to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun’s POV

I was enjoying everyone here. They were all having a good time with Y/n. Is it bad to say I want to marry her? She’s everything I could have asked for and she means everything to me. She looked so beautiful in her dress and it twinkled in the light, making her only stand out. I pulled out my phone to look at rings. I’m not gonna marry her just yet, just a promise ring to see how she will take it. As I was looking I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see that it was Mia.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked. “I want to talk to you! Like I said earlier!” She said. “Y/n has now graduated, we do not need to speak no more.” I said. “I’m taking my daughter back.” She said. I scoffed. “No the fuck you won’t.” I said. “Yes I am!” She yelled. “After you called her a slut earlier?” I asked. “You put that girl through so much shit Mia! Do you not get that or are you just dumb?” I exclaimed. “I’m taking my daughter from you. She’s mine NOT YOURS!” Mia yelled.

Everyone in the house stopped what they were doing and turned to us. “Mia, Y/n is mine. To be honest, she’s none of ours. She is turning 20 in a week!” I said. “How is she yours?! You were married into our family! She doesn’t have your blood!” She yelled. “Remember that paper you told me about? And how quick you signed it? Mia, you signed your rights away. She isn’t your daughter anymore.” I said. I heard Y/n gasp. “Y- You did what?” She whispered. I turned around to see tears welling up in her eyes.

“Y/n it’s alright. I’m here.” I comfort her. I couldn’t stand to see her broken like this. “Stop comforting that slut!” Mia yelled. “MIA! WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” I yelled. “To everyone who doesn’t know, Jaehyun is fucking Y/n! Yep! She was just sucking his dick earlier when I called!” Mia said to everyone. “What?!” I heard Y/n’s grandmother say. “Yes this is their house! They live together as boyfriend and girlfriend! This is not a daughter and father relationship! Y/n is a slut! She’s been fucking him ever since me and Jae we’re first engaged!” Mia yelled out to everyone. “Just how you were messing around with Doyoung?” Y/n said pulling away from me. “YOU WRONG JAE BEFORE HE WRONGED YOU! AND NOW YOU’RE HERE TRYING TO TURN THE SHIT ON US! JAEHYUN TOLD ME THAT WHEN YOU WE’RE ON YOUR LITTLE TRIP, YOU WERE FUCKING YOUR BOSS, DOYOUNG! AND NOW HE’S LEFT YOU AND YOU’RE PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD BY 8 MONTHS! YOU ARE THE SLUT! I’M SICK AND TIRED OF BITCHES LIKE YOU!” She yelled.

“Watch how you talk to me! I’m you-“ “WHAT MY MOTHER!? YOU AREN’T SHIT TO ME BUT A FUCKING ANNOYANCE!” Y/n yelled getting closer. Mia slapped Y/n across the face making everyone gasp. “Mia!” I yelled. Before I could do anything, Y/n slapped her back and punched her in the face making her fall to the floor. Mia gasped holding her cheek. Y/n was about hit her again until I pulled her back. “Stop it Y/n! She’s pregnant.” I said. She back away with a tear stained face. “Get out....GET OUT!” Y/n yelled while she held onto me and sobbed.

“Get your ass out of here and do not come back again..” I said. Mia got up and left the house. “I hate you all, fuck you all! I hope you know that this isn’t over Jae!” She yelled getting inside her car. Y/n then teared away from me and ran upstairs to our bedroom. I turned to everyone. “Everyone, please get your things and go. Don’t worry about cleaning up, I’ll do it all myself.” I said. People shook their heads.

“We don’t hate you if that’s what your thinking. Y/n is an adult and if she wants to be with you then so be it. You’re all she has. Go up to her and comfort her. We’ll clean up.” Her grandmother said. Many other people began to agree. I smiled. “Thank you all, you are the best..” I said. Her grandmother nodded and started to get things up.

I went upstairs to our bedroom and knocked on the door. “Baby?” I called. She turned around and ran to me and hugged me.

Your POV

She really did this....she did this...why? What did I do deserve this? I didn’t do anything to her, but she hurts me in this way? I heard a soft knock on the door. “Baby?” I heard Jaehyun called. I instantly turned around and ran to him. I hugged him while I cried. “Shhh...” He said while walking me into the room and closing the door with his foot. We sat on the bed and held each other. “What about everyone else? What about the party and-“ “Hush Princess..it’s alright.” He whispered while kissing the top of my head. “But everyone knows! What about!-“ He cut me off with a kiss to the lips. “They accept, Y/n...” He said with a smile. “What?!” I exclaimed. He nodded his head.

“They don’t care..” He said. I smiled and hugged him again. He placed his hand on my cheek but I winced away. “Oh I’m sorry...hold on.” He said. He got up and got a cool rag. He placed it on my cheek and kissed my forehead. “I know it hurts but it’ll go away soon.” He said. I looked in his eyes. “Jae...” I whispered. “Hm?” He replied. “I love you...so much...” I said. He smiled and kissed my lips again. I pulled him in closer and we began to make out.

He pulled away, stopping me from going any further. “There’s people down stairs.” He said. “And we have to get going soon.” He said taking the rag away and walking off to put it up. “W-Where are we going?” I asked. He chuckled. “Did you forget our trip to Hawaii that quick?” He asked, rephrasing my words from yesterday. I laughed and went to the closet. “Oh..the party had my mind all scrambled and I forgot.” I said. “It’s alright. Get your bags so we can get ready.” He said. I nodded. “I’ll go back down stairs to tell everyone that we’re le-“ “No.” I said cutting him off.

“No?” He repeated. “Can we go together?” I asked. He smiled and held out his hand. “Come on..” He said. I took his hand and walked back down the stairs. “Everyone, I’d like to let you know that me and Y/n are leaving in 10 minutes. We thank you all for coming and enjoying your time here.” Jaehyun said. He turned to me. “You want to say anything?” He asked. “Thank you all. And my apologies about my m- I mean Mia..she’s still not accepting the fact that she’s divorced with this man.” I said.

“You mean your man?” My grandmother said. “I-“ “We all know! It’s alright to say! We accept you all the way!” A student said. I smiled at their words. “T-Thank you! It means a lot..” I said. Jaehyun kissed my cheek and smiled at me. “Thank you! Come on let’s go and get everything in the car.” Jaehyun said. We went back to retrieve our bags. We got inside our car and waved my grandmother goodbye. She said that she would house sit for us.

[pbandjesse]

I was very nervous about today. But it ended up being really good and I feel very good right now. Feel very positive. And I just opened with that feeling continues on because it's been really hard staying positive last couple weeks.

I feel like a lot of that has been side effects from medication I'm on but who knows. I'm just hoping I can feel more even and less wildly up and down.

I slept all right last night I guess. I hate how much that has been hardship. But I woke up and I was excited about the day. A wildly nervous but excited.

I gave myself lots of time waking up and then had a snack. I wouldn't really call it breakfast but I did eat something. And packed my stuff up and got ready to go.

I had to bring a wagon downstairs and then the materials. I was worried about leaving it outside so I had to kind of do two trips down the stairs to the foyer. And then two trips outside. And then I walked the 15 minutes to the armory.

I was really hot by the time I got there. I had to stop about 5 minutes and to take my coat off. And then I stopped again to put sunglasses on. And I just had to stand outside for a second to catch my breath and cool off. I wasn't winded per se. But I was very hot. The scary guard kind of looked at me with side eyes when I came up to the stand with my wagon to check in. And I was just like yeah I'm here for a youth program and he seemed very confused.

But Jessica was already there. Not the BMI Jessica. This is a whole nother Jessica. There are too many of us. This Jessica is the one that went to camp with James. And she came out with a big hug for me and then we talked to the security guard and he said that he would unlock the 4th floor. We could only take the elevator to the third and then for going to walk up the stuff on the last floor but then he was able to get the elevator working for us and it was all good.

The program was supposed to start at 10:00 and then another rental was taking that space over for a retirement ceremony. It was a little bizarre being around all the soldiers and people in uniform. And so since we had a hard deadline I made an alarm on my phone that we would have to get the pieces in the oven by so that we could be out of their space so they could set up.

We were supposed to have nine children and eight came. Two sets of siblings and two single children. And a dog who was training to be seeing eye dog. So that was really cool.

And honestly it went so well. Everyone was so nice and the kids were super sweet. Jessica clearly already knew a lot of them but not all of them. And we had a good time. I reduced myself and then I went through what the project was and what a polymer is. And I showed them my poster that I made. And not everyone came at the same time so I was able to kind of use the poster as a good visual to explain to each child. I think it went great.

I made a couple little things and I have the kids making some really awesome stuff. The one boy that came was really excited when I said he didn't have to make jewelry that he could make little sculptures instead. He did end up making independent for himself but I think he appreciated making something that he really wanted. And he wasn't the only one that made a little sculpture. And it was really cool to see what all the kids made.

I set up the baking tray with parchment paper and I made a grid. I asked all the kids their names and wrote them down and each grid so that they could put their pieces there so nothing will get lost. I thought it was really cool when some of the parents were making stuff and the one teen volunteer that we had I just encouraged to make things as well. I didn't really need any assistance. She just helped her sisters and that was perfectly fine with me. And I think she made a few things as well. The earrings were very popular. And a couple foods on the keychains and the beads that they made were utilized for necklaces.

We did have some issues with the oven. When me and Jessica first got there and set up the tables in the chairs she went to go get the key for the kitchen. The whole reason we were using that room. And when we got in there the oven was a very old industrial oven. And I clearly not been turned on for a very long time. And was no longer connected to a gas line? Or at least the pilot light wasn't on. So we had a moment of panic. But then we found a different smaller oven that was kind of like the ones that they used to make bread at Subway. And that one worked just fine.

So at 11:25 we told all the kids to finish whatever they were working on and we loaded up the oven. I would check periodically and Jessica had them play duck duck goose. We had a lot of space in that big room.

While I was checking on the stuff to army guys came in with a cake. For the retirement ceremony. And I told him that we would be out by noon and they said it was not a big deal. I asked if they needed us to put the tables and chairs away and they said no that they could use them. And that was great. They were really nice.

Once all the stuff was out of the oven I chatted with a parent. The one who brought the training dog. And she told me about the dog and how the training program works. And apparently if the dog fails everything. And they can't get placed to be a police dog or a comfort dog or anything else like that the family that trains them has the option of adopting them back. So that's pretty cool. If you get really attached to it. And she told me she's a science teacher and she teaches polymers as well so she took some pictures of my poster and I hope that she can utilize plastics in that way to teach the kids as well I think it would be really cool.

We have two trays going and the one tray needed another 2 minutes while the other one cooled off. And once everything was out and cooled off I brought get out to the big room and Jessica got tin foil so they could wrap their things up to take home with them. Everything came out so good and I just thought they did the best job. It was so much fun to watch them.

I think everyone for coming and they slowly start leaving and I have been slowly packing everything off the table and into my wagon again so that we would have a very quick turnaround. And then it was time to go. The army guys that had come up chatted with us for a minute about what we were doing and they were very nice to us. They said they were really hiding so they wouldn't have to do anything else while everyone was getting the supplies for the party downstairs. They were monitoring the room. I thought that was very silly.

Jessica offered me a ride home but I wanted to continue my every other day walk thing. Which has been going well so far. And I enjoyed my walk back. I actually spent a lot of it texting my brother. We've spent the last couple days talking and that's been really really nice because we don't always get to talk.

And he asked me about my workshop and told me how proud he is of me and seriously I almost cried it was so sweet. I love him so much. And I hate that he has been struggling so much lately and so stressed out. But I can't say I don't understand. It's a weird time right now, trying to survive. And it was nice to talk to him about it. Camaraderie.

I got back home and Mr Will and Ms Tina were there. Mr Will helped bring all my supplies upstairs she's so nice. And I chatted with them in the hall. I didn't talk to them about the rumor. But it was nice to talk. Tina wished James well. And she asked if anything was weird in the apartment. And I was like. Well there is stinky closet. And she's like what. And I'm like our closet is stinky sometimes. Mr will laughed at me and said he would tell the upstairs to run some baking soda in their sink. And I showed Ms Tina the grout in the bath tub that I think needs to be redone. And I showed Will the oven (which I will continue to monitor) and the fire escape door that is sort of dry rotted. He is going to try to get us a new door so that's exciting.

I would make myself some lunch after and I read a little and worked on my crochet. Sweetp was super super cuddly. And that was so sweet.

My allergies would go crazy after like an hour of laying with my cat. I had to get up and take something. And then I felt super cold. I moved to bed. Where Charlotte texted me asking if she can come get the bread maker Dante got us, not realizing we had already gotten one. I'm glad it is going somewhere where it will get used.

So I waited in bed for her to text me that they were downstairs. It would be a bit. My allergy medicine would kick in by then and I felt a lot better. I brought the box down and waited for them to park. Passed it off and waved to Cate and her boyfriend Ross. And then they were off.

I read a little more. Worked on my squares. Got back in bed. And then James was home!! Hello my James.

It was a free day today at the mayhem. And they had almost 400 people come in!! Wild! James was beat at the end of the day. They drove Stan downtown and got us some groceries and came home to me.

They made us a frozen pizza for dinner. I didn't like this kind as much but that's fine. I enjoyed the company. We had broccoli and root beer as well. And I kept working on my squares.

James went for a walk. And I did my knitting for yesterday and today. And had a little milkshake. And I felt pretty good.

After James came home and we had some time just laying around I went and washed my hair. And now I am going to go dry it and get ready to go to sleep.

I have the day off tomorrow. I have to go to target to get some groceries and things you can only get there. I have been doing super well with my no spend January so not buying bullshit and sticking to my rules ($10 in Valentine's decorations okay rain coat okay groceries okay) will be a test tomorrow I guess.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. I hope you actually sleep well. Take care of yourself. Goodnight!!

[xxxtrouvaillexxx]

Let’s Strike a Deal

A/N: This is late, I know. If you have not realized from before, I’m really bad at meeting deadlines. Well, at least deadlines that I’ve created for myself to follow because I like to procrastinate things and frankly… what am I gonna do to myself? Band myself from tea until I’ve written a chapter? I don’t have the self control for that! And life is hectic. But you know, enough with my excuses and onto the story. Hope you enjoy. I always love feedback so please be sure to leave a comment! ALSO I wanted to give a TRY (key word) to first person. If I don’t like it... I might change it, idk. I should never write anything at 3am as per evidence below, especially without editing lmao

Pair: CEO!Tom x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the small town of Hawkshead girl trying to make her way in the big city of Westminster, London. Not as easy as she thought. When things start to take a turn for the worst one afternoon and only one man in the crowd of hundreds decides to help her, she does something rather uncharacteristic and gives her savor her number in case he could ever use help of his own. Course, she never expected for him to actually call her out on it.

Masterlist

Warning(s): none… yet. Cursing?

Word Count:

My time was limited. There was nothing left that had to be done here or anything left to pack. Everything I’ve ever owned sat in a car on the way to my new apartment and last of the suitcases were in the bed of my brothers pickup at this very moment while I sat on the floor of my room. There wasn’t anything left for me here, I knew that, but it was still difficult to say goodbye to the place that carried so many of my favorite memories and the imprints of my childhood that still were splayed around the surrounding room.

There were two dents in the wall right in front of me from when I was ten and hit my head after tripping on one of my toys, thumbtack holes that littered everywhere above the bed from forts that I would make with my brothers and friends, nail polish that was spilled on the carpet from times when I was too distracted with talking than keeping the bottle up straight, my engraved initials on the windowsill. The memories that I had made in this room were countless and they were all absolutely priceless.

“Y/N!” I heard your mother call from the living room, her voice was slightly hoarse from held back emotion and it broke my heart to hear her like that. “You got to get going, dear! You’ll miss your train if you wait much longer to head out.”

Taking a deep breath and slowly standing from the, now old, bed I made my way toward the door, feet dredging behind me and scuffing the floor as I walked out. “I know, Mama. I’m just-” the words caught in my throat and I was at a loss. “I’m really going to miss you guys so much.”

“Oh stop it, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep on like that,” She said giving a tight hug before pushing me out the front door. “You are going to love it in London so much you’re not even gonna be thinking about us here, so get goin’. Your brothers already waiting for you in the car.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “I love you Mama! I’ll call you when I get there!”

Jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, I waved final goodbyes from the window, dramatically blowing kisses as the car started to drive away.

“You better!” She exclaimed, watching as we pulled out and down the road.

“She is going to be a mess when I get back home. I can’t believe you’re going to leave me to deal with that alone!” Christian, stuck driving you to the train station much to his dismay, gave you a mocking glare. “After all the things I’ve done for your, this is how you choose to repay me? I’m pretty sure I’m getting the short end of the stick here,” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ahhh~” I cooed and smiled, “You’re only saying that cause you know you guys’ are going to be missing me so much!”

“Miss you?” He scoffed, “Yeah right. What we’re going to be missing is your baking. It’ll be the greatest blow our family has faced since 1824.”

I gave a scathing look, “And what, if I may ask, happened in 1824?”

“Don’t know, but something bad probably.”

»»-——————————————-««

I have never been so sore getting off of a bus in her life. The cheapest route to get to Westminster from Hawkshead was a train and 8 bus stops, totaling up to 10 or so hours in and out of vehicles. I groaned and stretched when my feet planted on hard asphalt for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, for all the soreness, I had made it to my destination with time to spare.

It was louder than I had imagined, crowded with traffic from all directions and people running any which way to get on with their lives. It was bustling and busy. Lively. Not exactly what I was used to which made me smile. 

Wide.

I made it. 

I only had a suitcase with me, the rest of her belongings would be delivered in a few days to the new apartment. 

My apartment. 

I was positively giddy at the thought. 

It took a lot of self control to keep from skipping down the side walks while I somehow navigated the new scenery, but I managed to keep my excitement under wraps for the time being. Arriving an hour early gave me a bit of time to take in the bigger sites near by, like the Ferris wheel, the clock tower Big Ben, and my personal favorite- Westminster Palace and abbey. It was a dream of mine since I was little to see it in person, and now here I was standing mere blocks away from the grand building, elated and amazed. 

Vibrating caught my attention and I barely managed to turn my eyes away from the sites in front of me to my phone, Kyra’s name popping up on the screen. My best friend and now room mate, Kyra Bardou, who was probably wondering where the hell I was now. 

“Hey,” I drawled with an obvious grin I couldn’t even hide in my voice. 

“Hey yourself! I’ve been waiting at the stop for 15 minutes with no sign of you only to learn you’re already in town and didn’t even bother to tell me!” She spoke so quickly I was shocked she didn’t run out of breath and laughed. 

“I’m site seeing, sue me!” I turned and started making the slow walk back, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise.”

She only grunted in response and let me walk in a comfortable silence, letting me continue to take everything in while simply enjoying her presence on the line. It was the last few moments I’d get now, the last bits of my old life slipping through my fingers like sand in exchange for a new one. 

And the chaos that comes with a big city. 

Like robbers. 

I couldn’t even let out a cry as I was shoved to the ground, my phone forced from my hand and my suitcase caught up in a strange mans arms. It took me a whole 5 seconds to get my bearings enough to yell at the man and give chase, shouting for help though no one so much as looked our way, just moved out of his. 

“Stop!” I screamed, running but quickly losing him as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd skillfully. “Stop! Someone stop him!”

And this time, someone moved to action, running past me at an alarming rate and quickly gaining ground on my assailant before they both rounded a corner and I lost sight of them. 

My heart dropped and I picked up speed again, hoping that I didn’t let them get far enough away for me to lose them completely, it would have been easy for them to get away from me here.

But when I turned around the block, I found the man on the ground with the track star of a man on top of him, already on the phone with I assume the police. I finally caught up to them and without thinking, hugged the man on the phone, a silent thank you while he spoke to whoever was on the line, before I gathered my things and hugging them close to me. 

He smiled kindly, finishing the call and turning to me properly while still pinning the thief to the ground. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes! Thank you so much, I’d have been completely lost without this,” I gestured to my luggage. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get it back. I don’t even know how to get around town yet.”

He laughed and nodded. “So new to town then. It was my pleasure to help, though I was really just doing what anyone in my position would do,” he responded kindly.

Furiously I shook my head, “No, you didn’t. I don’t believe I saw a single soul other than you move to help. Unless you did but beat them to it at the last minute. Not that that it implausible, you are seriously fast on your feet.” 

He laughed again and I noticed what a nice laugh he had, it was contagious and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of my own now that my adrenaline was fading bit by bit. “Yes, well- I do enjoy the sport.”

“Dually noted,” I grinned, jumping a little when my phone started to buzz in my hands. Kyra’s name popping up on the screen again. “Shoot!” I exclaimed and answered. I wasn’t even able to put the phone to my ear before I heard her shouting my name on the line. “Kyra-”

“Oh my god, Y/N! What the heck happened, I heard you shout and then the line went dead! Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” She was speaking so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear a safe distance as she spouted one question after another at me without reprieve. 

My rescuer across from me chuckled, overhearing my frantic friend. “I’m fine, someone tried to steal my stuff on my way to meet you. Luckily someone came along and helped me catch him, otherwise I’d have lost everything. But everything is okay now, we are-” I looked around and realized I have no idea where we were. 

He seemed to catch on to my newest distress and whispered, “Tell them we are on the corner of Tufton and Bennett’s Yard.”

I nodded and mouthed a thank you, “ Tufton and Bennett’s Yard,” I repeated and she said she’d be here in a 10 minutes and to sit and wait before hanging up the phone. 

I slouched on the wall of some building, letting myself relax. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but thank you.”

He just shook his head, “No need. You’re friend sounded pretty worried about you, it wouldn’t do well to let her stew in that worry longer than needed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years since we last saw each other. She’d be pretty upset if something bad happened before I could even move in,” I laughed, though it didn’t quite sound right even to my ears. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I introduced and stuck my hand out. 

He took it and gave a firm shake, “Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N. Even in these less than optimal circumstances.” 

“The pleasure is mine, I assure you.”

“Y/N!” Someone yelled, and we both turned our heads to see Kyra sprinting full speed around her car and at me. I stood and braced myself for the collision of her, and fell back against the wall with the force of her body. 

“Holy shit, girl! You scared the hell outta me, you could have died! This is why I told you to call me when you first got into town, you always manage to get yourself into trouble like this. What would I have told your parents if something happened, huh? Huh!?”

I grinned and pulled back to get a proper look at her. Her black hair, normally frizzy was sticking out in every direction and her honeyed eyes wide as she scanned me over, running her hands over my arms for injuries. “I’m fine, Kyra. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” She shot back with a glare, “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Well, there is a first for everything after all.”

Tom laughed hard at our back and forth, making us both jump a little and look down at him. Before I could even say anything, Kyra was down on his level with the thieves shirt in her fists and a scowl that would scare the devil himself on her face. 

“Is this the bastard that did this?” 

“Let go!” I shrieked and pulled her off, albeit with a little effort. “Tom called the cops and they’ll deal with this properly. Not you,” I said sternly. She just let out a huff of a response and pushed herself back enough to look at Tom properly. 

She gave him a once over and held her scowl in place, “So you’re the one who saved Y/N/N?”

He gave a small, hesitant nod and gave me a nervous glance. I just laughed and stood back up, as Kyra launched forward to give him a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured a few times and pulled back. 

“No worries,” he said, and looked far less distressed now that Kyra didn’t look like she wanted to gut him. “I was there at the right time is all.”

“Yes, well- That doesn’t mean what you did was anything less than amazing. My whole life is in that bag and in that phone at the moment. Seriously, if there is anything I can do for you in return it’s yours. Ice cream, some roller skates, a kidney. Just ask.”

Everyone laughed at that and he nodded with an obviously sarcastic “sure”, just as the police arrived to take the culprit and our statements. Kyra mumbled something about them being slow and went to the car for a few minutes to be out of the way. 

15 minutes later, everything was settled and they took the man away. Leaving Tom and I alone on the side walk again while I settled everything in my case to be sure I didn’t miss anything and quickly scribbled on a stray notecard. 

“I meant it when I said I owe you one,” I said and handed the card with my name and number to him. “Just give me a ring if I can ever be of any help at all and I’ll come running. Though, probably much slower than you did.”

He tried to decline the offer only once, but after some persistence he took it with another smile, “Thank you, Y/N. Hopefully this will not be our last meeting. And hopefully never again under such pressing circumstances,” he held out his hand, and I took it, returning his earlier shake with a firm one of my own and I agreed. 

“Until next time then,” he said and left. 

I barely was able to take my seat in the car before Kyra grasped my arm with a devious smile, “Y/N/N- Did you just give that guy your number?” My silence was answer enough and she laughed, “Girl! No way!”

No way was right, I thought with a small smile of my own as we pulled away and started home.

»»-——————————————-««

TAGS: open 

@drakesfiance @dumbgopher1​ @kewlbeans-22​​

[strikethematch18]

Dadzawa x F! Reader - Over Worked & Tired Part 1

It was now reaching the hour of at least 3 in the morning in Japan and you still hadn’t finished your paper proposal that you have been working on for hours on end. It certainly didn’t help that it was weeks overdue with only a few days until the end of the semester for your college courses back in America. 

You’re an American based student attending U.A. High, but also completing your bachelor’s degree at a college back in the states. Highly intelligent, as you were a member of Class 3-A and still in high school but only have one more semester until you finish your B.A. in English, about the same time you would graduate high school. Unfortunately, the time difference between the US and Japan has screwed with you reaching deadlines and a symptom of overusing your quirk is a lack of focus, something that you didn’t even tell your homeroom teacher, Mr. Aizawa. You were determined this was something you could do on your own.

Lately, you’ve been feeling like you have something to prove, almost like you’re somehow less than your peers as if your quirk wasn’t as useful or not powerful enough. As if your instant ability to feel empathy and affect emotions as well as being trained in formal combat in a similar fashion to Aizawa and his scarf. In fact, he was the one who worked with you and trained you with it. 

None the less you still felt like you were on your own with this and felt like you had to overdo yourself in training exercising. Quite frankly, you were on the serious verge of burn out, you wanted nothing more than to just curl up in your bed and watch a little TV after a nice hot shower. But non the less you had to push those desires aside to finish your college semester out strong.

You take another drink of your contraband energy drink, as a student at esteemed high school U.A. things like those were highly frowned upon as they were enhancing your energy to perform due to their abnormal amount of caffeine. Right now, you didn’t give a damn, you were going to be up all night and had early morning training with Aizawa and you are exhausted either way. Just trying to pull these long nights to finish on time. The dark circles were aware to you and your sluggish movements during the day meant a lot more effort on your quirk.

The door to your dorm room was still open allowing light from the outside room to shine into your room as well as your small little desk lamp providing you with a little bit of light for you to write and research on your laptop. You had a light but warm blanket wrapped around you as you were cold and it was around you very similarly to Aizawa’s sleeping bag come to think about it. You were generally cold a greater portion of the time but this felt a little different than normal, you were starting to become congested, never a good sign.

You sighed as you dropped your pencil on your papers and took your hands and rubbed your face and sat there for a moment just resting them there. You could hear footsteps down the hall and took it as someone getting up to go to the kitchens for something, it was an often occurrence. It did slip your mind that teachers would take shifts to do monitoring at different times in the night just taking a stroll down the hallways making sure everything was alright. Honestly, most teachers just slacked on it most of the time so it wasn’t a regular thing. It didn’t really dawn on you that the footsteps were getting closer to your room and the kitchen was the opposite direction. 

Usually, hallway patrols took around 10 minutes for teachers to complete which is why they were skipped so often, but Aizawa actually decided to do his tonight. And to his surprise, he saw one door open compared to the rest closed. His first thought was thinking about what was wrong and quickened his pace. But when he reached your door he couldn’t help but examine your hunched over posture wrapped in your blanket and head in hands, surrounded by loose papers, post its, pens, books, and laptop.

He knew you had a little extra course load normally but he didn’t realize it was something you would be doing well into the night, he just figured you were about to balance everything extremely well as you never complained and usually performed well in classes. However, thinking back to the last week you have seemed a little more tired and in a daze resulting in more quirk effort. The overuse of quirks segment of your student file was blank and he never made the effort to find out. 

He continued to stand at your door for another minute and saw the can of energy drink beside you knowing you were a good kid and wouldn’t resort to something as foolish as that without it being a last resort. Aizawa briefly knocked on your door to alert you of his presence. He did have a soft spot for you compared to Midoria or Bakoguo so he was a little more gentle with you.

“Hey kid, what are you still doing up?”

Startled out your state you did a small jump in your desk chair, “Just trying to write this essay. It’s a few weeks overdue and the end of the semester is soon so I need to get this in.”

He took a few steps into your room and stood behind you, “12th-century convents and monasteries in Italy. Hmm, that doesn’t sound very interesting. What kind of class is this for?”

“It’s for my Origins of western though class, medieval through the renaissance. And trust me, it really isn’t, especially when you can’t focus on it at all,” you replied.

“You’re having trouble focusing?” he asked genuinely concerned, he had never heard those words come from you before.

You put your face back in your hands and simply said, “Quirk overuse.”

Aizawa was taken aback for a short moment, you were never one to complain or let someone know when there was something going on, “God kid how long has this been going on?”

“This time? At least since last week.”

“This time? So this isn’t something new?” he was a little shocked since this was the first time he heard of any of your overuse symptoms. 

“God no, there’s also an extra degree of fatigue and the occasional headache. Night terrors are kinda common too.”

“Shit Y\N why have you never mentioned this before?”

“It just never seemed to be all that important really, I’ve handled it by myself for years why start before now?”

“When was the last time you got a decent nights sleep, you’re starting to look like me. You’ve even got the whole blanket thing going for you,” he asked looking at your form sitting at your desk as you shifted in your seat to look at him.

“Uh, you know, that’s a really good question and it’s been long enough that I can’t fully remember. To be truthful, I just want to finish this so I can take a warm shower and go to sleep.”

When you looked at him he got a better look at you. To be truthful you looked horrible and he started to feel bad because it was evident you were working yourself to death, and keeping up with both school lives on top of his added one-on-one training sessions were taking a toll on you. He had also noticed the congestion in your voice, that was never a good sign.

He put his hand on your forehead and you leaned into even though it felt cold to you it still felt nice, “Kid you’re burning up, you have a fever, why don’t you stop for the night and get that shower you want and you can crash on my couch tonight so I can keep an eye on you.”

“With all due respect sir, I need to finish this, my professor has been on me for weeks on end on this. I have to finish it tonight. And I couldn’t possibly bother you with just congestion and small fever.”

Aizawa sighed and took a seat on the edge of your still made bed, “Listen, kid, I’ll let you finish. I'm going to sit here until you're done and you’re coming with me.”

You put your head down as you knew there was no way out of this one. He took a book off your nightstand and began reading it as you continue your work. It took you about 2 more hours and he had managed to doze off wait for you. You look back at him sleeping quietly and simply close your laptop for the night and lay your head down and close your eyes for just a second truthfully, you felt horrible. In the absence of your typing, Aizawa woke up and saw you with your head down and got up and put a hand on your shoulder feeling the elevated body heat from your fever radiating through you. 

He quietly sighed and in his general monotone voice said, “Come on kiddo let’s go, grab some comfy clothes and you can shower back at my room.”

You compiled and went to stand up but immediately the word was spinning and you had to grab onto the desk to steady yourself. He had immediately put a hand around your waist and only your shoulder not wanting you to fall in your sick weakened state.

“Okay, new plan, We’re going straight to my room, I’ll just give you some clothes and you can take a sitting down shower. I don’t want you to exert any more energy and risk you falling and hurting yourself, so I’m going to carry you, is that okay?”

You gave a small nod and he put one arm under your knees and one on your mid-back and you put your arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest feeling small. And quite truthfully, Aizawa did notice you were a little nighter and a little bonier than he expected before, almost as if you had been skipping meals.

Walking with you down the hallway still wrapped in your blanket ha=e quietly asked, “Kid I need you to be honest with me, are you eating?”

You give a small groan in response, “I accidentally forgot for a few days I’ve just been too busy and didn’t realize.”

Aizawa sighed and realized how work-oriented you are, stopping for nothing and not accomplishing things for your health, “I’ll make you some soup while you’re in the shower okay, then will you please eat a little bit of it?”

You simply nodded your head in his chest resulting in a lack of verbal response.

Once making it back to his living quarters he opened the door and was greeted by a cat waiting for him to get back. He closed the door behind both of you and took you to the bathroom and sat you down on the toilet and told you to undress and take a shower, and he would leave clothes and some towels for you in a bit. 

As you did that and carefully sat down at the bottom of the shower and turned the water on you immediately felt the warm water hitting your skin rinsing some of the sick away and you let out a small cough, which didn’t go unnoticed by your teacher leaving a pair of black sweatpants and a charcoal grey sweater that will be much too large for you but are clean clothes you should find comfortable.