#i fully would’ve believed that but it’s sure different finding out by playing lol

[sonic-adventure-3]

i just played a bit of sadx for the first time and wow i know shockingly little about it. did you guys know that sonic adventure is good. ‘cause it’s good

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

The Owl House and pacing, a perspective from a fanfic writer that works with a large cast

I’ve seen a bunch of complains about the way The Owl House is paced lately. People claiming that it’s bad writing, and rushed, and whatnot. But from how I see it, you’re complaining for all the wrong reasons, and to the wrong people.

TL;DR: this is an overlaying issue with Disney and the industry that doesn’t allow long shows anymore, essentially forcing writers to pick between good pacing and complex stories being told with large casts.

For context: the fandom I wrote for before I got into The Owl House had a pretty small main cast. There were a few reoccurring characters, but most of them only showed up like five total times over the course of four seasons or had little personality, so my main cast I was writing about always consisted of my main five characters, with occasional cameos here and there. All characters were living together and experienced the adventure from the same perspective. There was one overarching storyline and not multiple. The interpersonal relationships still varied, though, for obvious reasons.

Now think about how large The Owl House cast is, and why that’d send them running into issues. Or don’t, because I have a whole-ass in depth analysis under the cut because this got unreasonably long.

(Also I’d appreciate a reblog, I spent… an unreasonable amount of time on this, lol)

The Owl House is different. There’s the main characters: Luz, Eda, King, maybe Hooty, technically (someone recently pointed out that he’s technically the titular character of the show and I’m still processing that, lol).

But they also have a HUGE additional cast to work with. There’s Lilith, Eda’s sister, and the main antagonist of season one, who has a lot to her character and gets a ton of screen time. There’s Amity, and there’s Willow and Gus, Luz’s friends. They’re all very fleshed out characters, and got a bunch of screen time and development, despite “only” being reoccurring characters and not the main characters.

Then there’s characters that have played a fairly minor role so far. There’s Belos, the big bad villain, who we will likely learn a lot more about this season. There’s the Golden Guard, the new main antagonist our cast deals with personally, who we’re just starting to learn more about. There’s Camila, Luz’s mom, who, despite only showing up a couple of times in the show so far, is very relevant to Luz and how the plot will ultimately turn out. There’s Edric and Emira, Amity’s siblings, who despite only showing up a few times as well seem to have a very worked out personality and background and also have a story that is (at least to some extent) going to be told according to the AMA.

There is at least one more seemingly important character whose role in the bigger story is hard to tell at this point, Raine, but according to the description of the episode, they’re probably going to influence the story a bunch.

There’s Alador and Odalia, who are responsible for a lot of their children’s toxic behaviors, and seem to have bigger plans that will probably be relevant later on.

The characters that are only focused on for an episode or two (like Matt and the troublemaker kids) all have very worked out personalities and even short arcs.

And heck, even characters like Boscha, who is extremely minor and seems like a very one-dimensional bully for the most part, get their moments that hint at there being more to them. We know Boscha has a clingy mom, that apparently has a rivalry with Odalia and works with Amity’s parents. The scene at the beginning of Wing It Like Witches tells us a lot about her general mindset and how she’s embraced that winning at whatever cost is the only thing that matters.

This leaves us with: 3-4 main characters

3 friends with fleshed out stories

Lilith, who is probably the most relevant aside from the main cast

Belos, the main antagonist, and the Golden Guard, currently starting to become a lot more relevant

A whole handful of minor reoccurring characters that have the potential to become bigger characters at any point in time

A handful of minor reoccurring characters that mainly seem to be there to further the story, but still get to have distinctive personalities and motivations (looking p.e. at the troublemaker kids)

That is AT LEAST 9 pretty major, relevant characters whose stories have to be tackled in the same show, in addition to the people that joined in season two and a huge supporting cast of well-developed characters that clearly also have stories of their own, even if not all of them will get told.

On top of that, the Owl House lives from exploring different relationships and different storylines. There’s the overarching story of how flawed the system is that will likely end with them overthrowing Belos, but there’s so much more.

Eda and the curse. Eda becoming a better mentor for Luz. Eda coming to terms with the loss of her magic.

Luz learning to cast magic with glyphs. Making friends for the first time. Slowly falling in love with Amity. Fighting to be able to learn whatever kind of magic she wants to. Learning that she’s not a burden to people. Struggling with her relationship with her mom, and trying to restore the portal so she can get back to her. Figuring out her future and what she really wants.

Lilith trying to cure Eda, and now in season two coming to terms with the loss of her magic and fixing her relationship with her sister. Lilith learning to ask for help.

Willow switching tracks. Willow growing more confident.

Amity becoming a better person, fixing her relationship with Willow, standing up to her parents, falling in love with Luz. Starting to fix her relationship with her siblings.

King finding out where he came from.

Hints at Gus struggling with decision making and stressing himself out less. Gus learning to be more selfless. Struggling with his magic track and being the youngest in his grade.

The newly introduced plot point with the Golden Guard. The plot point about the rebellion that will get introduced next episode.

The mystery with the letters.

And I’m like 90% sure I’ve forgotten something.

That is… a lot of different plots and relationships that are in some way important to the story.

In comparison, as stated, the last show I wrote for focused mostly on the same five characters and their relationships with each other, and one overarching plotline aside from some minor interpersonal relationships with two people’s family members that weren’t even introduced for several seasons. The first season fully focused on establishing the bond within this found family with exactly 1 important reoccurring character, an antagonist that had little personality and got a total of one line of backstory before he died.

If you have 90% of a season to develop 5 characters who live together, that’s a lot easier to do than developing twice the amount of important characters + introducing reoccurring characters season one of The Owl House has—the majority of which have separate lives and do not live together and thus can’t be focused on at the same time.

I’ve seen a bunch of people complain recently that the pacing of The Owl House is off, that the writing is bad, that the show is rushed, etc. etc.

And I get those complains. Believe me, as a viewer and also as an author that takes a lot of time to develop each character and their issues individually, I 100% get it.

But as an author that’s currently learning how hard it is to tackle a cast of the size that The Owl House has, I’ve also come to a whole different understanding from the perspective of the writers on the show.

For context, Locked Out focuses on a couple of serious themes, in the same way that the show does. It has 4 main plotlines: Amity Camila and Luz, Edric and Emira, Eda and Lilith, Willow and the Grudgby Squad (as well as a Gus arc that ties into the last one while also being its own thing, we’re getting to that part). So far, it prominently features: Luz, Amity, Camila, Eda, Emira, Edric, Willow and Gus, and to a lesser extent King, Lilith and Boscha, Skara and Amelia in relation to the separate plots.

That’s eight main characters across five different households. And then there’s the reoccurring characters that will have a larger role later on that I’ve not even had the opportunity to bring into the story yet/feature in a more prominent way. The cast is still growing.

And heck, I have all the time in the world to write this thing, because I don’t have an episode limit, or a deadline, or a limited amount of money to produce it.

For Locked Out, it took me 120k to get through a single week of plot at a very high level of character development, with about as many important characters as TOH has in season 1, and with an equally high number of reoccurring characters, some minor, some major. I think you can compare it to the show pretty well. I’d say, if I were to split Locked Out into episodes, I’d set one episode at about 10k. That would be 12 episodes. 12 episodes to get through a single week. Heck, even if I said 20k words were to be one episode, which I’m pretty sure is too much realistically, that would still be 6 episodes for one week.

And TOH covers more than three months.

That would be at least 72 total episodes to get through the three months of summer camp. And we’re currently progressing past that point.

72 episodes.

Let that sit for a while o.o

Everything that’s happened in season one (which as we know now was about 2 months) would have happened in 48 episodes rather than 19. Pacing-wise, everything would happen at less than 0.5x the speed. The first four episodes of season two would’ve been 24 episodes, assuming we hadn’t skipped a week and a half and had instead shown the immediate aftermath of the petrification ceremony, too.

And I’d love if we could have that, and if we could actually develop the characters and their relationships that thoroughly.

But the sad fact is that shows like The Owl House do not get the amount of episodes that would be required to develop every single aspect of the show to its fullest potential. Disney rarely greenlits shows of 150 episodes anymore. They used to, once, (Phineas&Ferb for example had 130+ episodes—you could tell one hell of a story in that many episodes), but that’s not a thing anymore. And the writers know that going into a show. They know the chances their story will be told in that way are very low.

And thus, the writers, especially ones working with large casts, have to make a choice: cut characters they love, and plots that are important to them, because they know they won’t get the amount of episodes required to do everything perfectly, OR include most of what they want to do, but at the cost of the pacing being off and everything seemingly happening too fast.

The Owl House crew went with the second option. The biggest issue the show has isn’t bad writing. The show’s biggest issue is that its cast and the story the crew members want to tell are too big for the amount of episodes they’ve been given (especially now that Disney decided to cut season 3 down into just three 44 minute specials).

And that’s on Disney, and Disney alone.

The crew is making the most of the amount of episodes they have, and unfortunately the lack of time forces them to rush things, and to sometimes sideline characters to focus on others.

Lilith got a bunch of screen time in the first four episodes. I’m sad to see her go, but she’s basically guaranteed to be back by season 2B. And there’s other people that have gotten way less focus than her so far. We‘ve seen basically nothing of Willow and Gus for the first few episodes, and I’m super happy Gus finally got some focus! We haven’t been inside Hexside all season except to see Luz expelled! And episode seven is even going to introduce a new character. Sometimes there’s parts of the story that certain characters don’t have a place in. And it sucks if they’re characters you like. But Lilith has to go for a bit so other characters can get the same amount of spotlight she did. At the end of the day, Lilith is not part of the main cast. She’s a very important reoccurring character, yes, but so are Amity, Willow and Gus. The main characters are Eda, Luz and King, and they’re the only ones that will always be around. And heck, even Eda got sidelined for a bit in the last two episodes, because we needed to focus on other characters. If not even the main characters are always around because we need some spotlight time for other characters, you can’t expect any more minor reoccurring cast member to be.

God, I wish they’d be given more time and more episodes to bring every part of the plot to its full potential, but they don’t have those, so they sometimes have to take shortcuts that unfortunately cheapen the story here and there. It’s the only way they can hope to tell their story to the end at all. And that makes me hella sad because it’s so obvious that they have an incredible story to tell, and that there’s so much more to so many of the characters we just don’t have the time to focus on.

The thing is: I liked the episode with Gwendolyn. It sends an important message that will hopefully get some parents who watch with their children thinking, and I’ve seen a couple of people talk about how close to home it hit for them. I have also seen a couple of people complain about that being too fast—and also just in general about things in the show getting sorted out too fast. And I get it. At least with this particular episode, I 100% get it.

(I’ve also seen some people complain that “Amity stood up to her parents too fast in Escaping Expulsion”, but I vehemently disagree with that. We’ve been building towards that moment since season one, with her doing more and more things that were technically defying her parents. I don’t see how this was rushed.)

Just… please don’t blame the writers. Dana even said that Keeping Up A-Fearances is one of the episodes that hit very close to home for her in the recent stream iirc? So I highly doubt this was rushed on purpose, or because the whole thing is “bad writing” when the entire writing quality of the show says otherwise.

A lot of shows in general have the issue that they have to be written season by season rather than as a full story these days, because there’s always a chance that they won’t get a next season. How large scale the story they want to tell actually is doesn’t matter if there’s a solid chance they won’t get to do any of it.

From a viewer perspective, I get being frustrated at the pacing being off. But from a writer perspective, the chances are very high that this is a choice they had to make, rather than one they wanted to make. And I don’t think you can truly see this if you’ve never worked with a fleshed out cast that large—Locked Out was really eye-opening for me in that regard.

This isn’t simply a case of bad writing/bad pacing by choice. It’s forced. They’re forced to rush through their plots because otherwise they won’t get the chance to tell certain parts of the story at all. And the saddest thing about this is really that those 72+ episodes to flesh out these plot points further wouldn’t have been an impossible thing to get, at a time.

Go for Disney’s head. Yell at the industry for being what it is today, for constantly axing shows before even giving them a real chance. But this isn’t on the crew.

[makeste]

hello! I’ve seen some debate as to whether the 2nd meant allies in general would bolster izuku and although I do think that’s true (ofc any sort of support system that he lets himself rely on would bolster him) I feel like if that was what was meant it would’ve been made clearer? maybe instead of just katsuki showing up, the final panel would’ve had several students burst onto the scene. what are your thoughts?

agreed. and incidentally this is another big reason why it's not Toga. if it was her then Horikoshi wouldn't have devoted any time to OFA II's little hype speech. it just makes it kind of pointless, unless this whole time we've been sleeping on Toga's hidden ability to bolster Deku lmao.

but anyways, yeah. and I mean, Two's commentary here is really just acknowledgement of something we've long since known already. Kacchan is the one who will ultimately be able to reach Deku. we don't actually need a piece of dialogue to tell us this, because the manga has been showing it to us since day one. his resume is fucking stacked. I mean, let's go through it.

he is mean.

I love this you guys. I honest to god love it. because the thing is, if you ask anyone what Kacchan's absolute worst quality is, this would be the obvious answer, right? "he's an asshole" lmao.

but that's exactly what we need right now!! someone who's not afraid to tell it like it is, and won't try to sugarcoat things. someone who's not afraid to argue back and risk hurting someone's feelings. because right now Deku is walking all over anyone who can't do that. All Might tries to feed him lunch and he's like "nah I'm good, anyways bye." Endeavor tries to tell him to rest and he's all "I'm fine" and fucking hangs up the phone. nuh uh. enough of that. what we need is someone who will call him out on his shit. "hah!? don't tell me you're fine when it's obvious to anyone you can barely stand on your own two feet, dumbass."

he is stubborn.

kind of ties into the other thing, but yeah. right now we need a bullheaded asshole who won't take no for an answer if he thinks he's right. good luck trying to sweet talk your way out of this one, Deku.

he understands the situation.

this one is important, because in fairness, simply standing in front of Deku and saying "you shall not pass" isn't gonna be enough to actually accomplish anything here. ultimately he's going to have to be able to reason with Deku too. and so in that respect, it certainly doesn't hurt that Kacchan is someone who understands the OFA situation as well as anyone, and has always had clear judgment about it. he understands the threat of AFO ("they all died young"), and he understands the burden of All Might's legacy. he knows what Deku is dealing with, and that's going to give him an edge when it comes to finding that elusive-yet-critical talk no jutsu knockout blow.

he's been where Deku is now.

Kacchan knows a thing or two about burdens. granted, they've more often than not been ones that he's put on himself, but that didn't make them any less heavy. Deku right now is struggling not just with his feelings of responsibility, but also with all of the misplaced guilt that's feeding into it. AFO is targeting him. if innocent people get caught in the crossfire then that's on him. every minute that AFO stays out there getting stronger and causing more chaos is all on him, because he hasn't defeated him yet. and so on and so forth.

and Katsuki knows what that's like. because he blamed himself for what happened to All Might. that feeling of "if I'd only been stronger" is one that he's intimately acquainted with. that feeling of blaming yourself, of not being able to look someone you care about in the eye because you think it's your fault they got hurt. this is something he knows. this is a road he's already been down. and so if Deku tries to pull any "you don't understand" nonsense, Kacchan is uniquely situated to immediately shoot that shit right down.

he's immune to low blows.

lol I keep thinking of all the different counterarguments that Deku could make, and all the different ways in which Kacchan is perfectly equipped to handle them. anyway, so this particular thing is a very recent development, but very fortunately timed. so as we all know, Kacchan was a first class dick to Deku during their childhood. something which Deku, with his abnormally kind and forgiving nature, has never once confronted Kacchan about, even though he would have absolutely had the right. but anyway, so here's the thing though -- right now I fully believe that Deku can and will do or say just about anything in order to get Kacchan and the others to leave. and that includes hurting them in order to save them. so it would not surprise me at all if Deku goes as far as to throw Katsuki's old, cruel, selfish behavior back in his face as part of a last-ditch effort to get him to back down. desperate times and all that.

and maybe there was a time when that actually would have worked. but here's the other thing -- we know something Deku doesn't. namely, that Kacchan has recently leveled up emotionally and has finally unlocked his atonement quest. he finally understands that it's not all about him. which means that it doesn't matter even if Deku pulls out the big guns. he may hurt his feelings, but he's not going to scare him off, because Kacchan's focus right now is on atonement, not forgiveness. he's not doing this for a pat on the head. he's doing it because it's the right thing to do. and no amount of insults will be able to sway him from that.

he learned from the best.

I said this in another post a couple of weeks back, but yeah. Angsty Nomad Deku has nothing on early Kacchan in terms of pushing people away. early Kacchan was the motherfucking king of pushing peeps away. if you so much as LOOKED at this kid in such a way that SUGGESTED you might even be THINKING about possibly trying to save him, he would straight up throw a ten-year hissy fit lmao. Deku's "All Might, you don't have to tag along anymore"s ain't got SHIT on all of Kacchan's "STAY BACK DEKU"s and "I'D RATHER LOSE!!!"s and "OMFG HOW DARE YOU BE THE ONLY PERSON TO TRY TO SAVE ME FROM THIS RAMPAGING SLUDGE MAN WHO'S ABOUT TO SUFFOCATE ME TO DEATH"s. Kacchan is the undisputed goat here lol.

but anyway, so what this means is that he has accumulated a whole HOST of iconic lines and fateful parallels which he can throw back in Deku's face at a moment's notice. and the best part is that he learned it all from THIS EXACT MOTHERFUCKER, RIGHT HERE. what is Deku even gonna do!! argue against his own past actions?? "well, uh, I guess now that you mention it I should have just sat back and watched you die all those times" OH REALLY?? YOU DON'T SAY. THAT SOUNDS SO CONVINCING.

and so guess what, Deku -- if Kacchan was worth saving, then you're worth saving too. it's an ironclad argument. congratulations son you played yourself.

he always wins.

okay so real talk, we all know that what's really driving Deku right now is his fear of losing people. he's helpless against that. he saw Kacchan get stabbed right before his eyes and it fucked him up. he saw all these other people getting hurt and killed because he couldn't save them, and he straight up could not deal with those emotions at all. he's scared. he's more afraid of that happening again than of anything else. and AFO knows that, and that's why he's resorted to his current tactics, which have isolated Deku even further and caused him to push even All Might away.

what Deku is missing right now, and what he needs to have restored, is trust. trust is the antidote to fear. and when you're as scared as Deku is, it takes an extraordinary amount of assurance in order to ease those fears. basically you don't want to place your faith in anything less than an absolutely sure thing.

but Kacchan is exactly that. this is the exact type of situation that Kacchan's "aiming for the top" overkill confidence was made for. he's the one who never loses!! the hero who's going to surpass all other heroes!! Deku inherited All Might's compassion, but Kacchan inherited his determination. Kacchan is someone who brings reassurance. his confidence is unwavering. and in the end, I think it will be strong enough to pull even Deku back out from the darkness.

he is strong.

Kacchan is Deku's rival in every sense of the word, and I fully believe he's capable of matching him step for step even now. and so Deku can try to push him away, but Kacchan is capable of withstanding that force and staying his ground. Deku can try to run, but Kacchan still has him matched for speed. and as a last resort, Deku can even try to defeat him -- but Kacchan won't ever concede to defeat.

and all of this ties back into what I was saying about trust. because Kacchan is strong. strong enough not to die. strong enough to live. strong enough to not make others worry about him. and that's what Deku so desperately needs right now in order to finally let go of his fears. Deku needs someone who can get him to trust in others again, and to do that, he has to be able to trust in their strength.

and last but not least...

he has a secret weapon up his sleeve.

several, as a matter of fact. his hero name reveal. his apology, if he chooses to give it now (though I could see him waiting for a more sincere moment, rather than whipping it out now when it could be misconstrued as a manipulation tactic). but perhaps most importantly...

never underestimate the power of an iconic role reversal. because that's what I'm getting at here, if it wasn't clear lol. this probably would have worked better if I had a picture of him actually reaching out to Deku. but I mean, that's kind of the point lol. I don't have one because he hasn't done it yet. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE. good luck withstanding that, Deku.

so yeah. look at all that. he really is a one-man Deku-saving army. which is not to say that the other kids won't have a part to play as well, or that it's not important for them to be there, because it is. but as far as the lead role goes, it's Kacchan. like that astronaut meme guy says. always has been.

oh and as a bonus he was smart enough to finally leave the mask at home today lol. LET DEKU SEE THE SINCERITY IN YOUR EYES. YESSSSSSS.

[caffernnn]

Final stroke spoilers: ⚠️‼️

I just saw a post on Twitter about the Haru and Rin scene and how they didn’t feel that it was that ooc of Haru. I thought I was the only one who felt that it was kind of justified on Haru’s end. Because both Rin and Ikuya put Haru and their friends through so much when they were lost and wanted to swim with Haru again. And I get that professional swimming is entirely different than what they’re used to, but it really sucks that as soon as the competition got a little hard they decided to just drop free and only swim their preferred styles. That’s got to be a slap in the face to Haru, because what was all of that other stuff about? Like Rin wanted for YEARS for Haru to swim on the world stage and after the first race is like “you’re on your own.” He honestly deserves it to be honest even if Haru would’ve never said anything to protect their friendship he was clearly thinking or thought these thoughts. For a show where Haru is the mc we rarely get to see how he feels about things. I wish we can see the movie soon, cause I really wanna see how that whole sequence takes place.

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

It’s wild to me (it probably shouldn’t be surprising; idk) how even going off of just spoilers, there is a clear divide in the reactions people are having to Haru’s actions in the movie, especially in reference to the sudden shift leading up to the fight with Rin. I can see why people are surprised by it on a base level because so much of his successes in DttF, paired with the camaraderie everyone seems to have for a majority of the movie, leads you to believe Haru has emotionally matured and stabilized since high school, which is true! He’s more open to change and examining his emotions, especially as he starts to grapple with a high-stakes long-term goal for what feels like the first time. With that said, all of this can be true at the same time Haru is going through a steady breakdown that can/will likely lead to burnout. So many people who’ve been put through rigorous academic programs or career training or anything else equally as intensive can attest to the frustration of feeling like every few steps forward (gaining experiential knowledge, making connections, learning more about your identity in reference to x goal, etc) are followed by a step back (exhaustion, plateaus, expectations you can’t meet, mistakes spilling out when you can’t keep repressing the negatives in the name of “productivity”). Haru was able to make it this far because he has grown and started to heal some of the cracks in his support group, but the sheer amount of pressure makes it easier for him to break, and old wounds that never fully healed have time to fester.

I probably sound like a broken record in these movie-related posts when talking about Haru getting obsessed with becoming stronger and not knowing what to do with that fairly new and overwhelming drive. I can’t be mad at Haru completely for his choices here (can’t wait to be called a Haru apologist when the movie comes out in more places jfjdjd) because he partially fell victim to circumstance. This is one of the first times Haru takes the expectations of him being a “hero” or “prodigy” into consideration, and now he’s trying to navigate the expectations of success that come with those titles while not being sure 1) what exactly they are beyond winning, and 2) not being sure if they’re actually attainable for him. Along with that, he’s putting faith in Ryuuji’s instruction and guidance because he needs someone with any sort of credibility or experience with the pro circuit to show him how to get to the top. Even though from an outside standpoint it’s easier to discredit and reject Ryuuji’s assertion that everyone at the top has to give something up to get there, there are a number of reasons Haru reconsiders the notion with everything he’s seeing. He’s seeing his newest rivals reach crazy success and strength through isolation, and Ryuuji is dangling a golden opportunity in front of his face by going to Haru in the moments where he’s most vulnerable and saying “yes, that strength you crave is possible for you, but only if you pay this specific price for it.” Nobody should bear the weight of “saving” Haru from his circumstances (especially not his friends on their own journeys… Ryuuji and other mentors watching this trainwreck can eat my shorts tho), but dealing with this ultimatum while his core support group is pushing forward through their own challenges and/or busy in another country, I can’t be too surprised when he starts to overextend himself and burst at the seams.

As far as the blow-up with Rin, I won’t say it’s fully justified, but it’s understandable. The way Haru has had to make peace with his hardships with Ikuya and Rin has largely been by atoning for his own involvement in those rifts and trying to turn over a new leaf without expecting much in return. He took the opportunities of swimming with both of them again to replace any apologies on their parts and largely made peace with it. As much as it’s going to hurt to watch, I’m interested to see this fight play out because it sounds like it addresses a problem we bring up a lot in meta analyses posts: there needs to be more explicit conversations and apologies between characters, or the closure feels flimsy and temporary at best. This fight isn’t about closure (it’s about a lot of things both involving and excluding Rin, but I ranted about that in the other spoiler post) but it’s acknowledgement after all of this time that there’s still a need for it. Having Rin back in his life as a rival and friend has held the caveat in the back of his mind that Rin will leave his side again if Haru’s friendship/rivalry stops serving all of his interests. Haru’s ultimate fear of being abandoned by people, of people using him without understanding him and then throwing him aside for someone/something else, is drastically coming back to the surface in all of his stress. Rin and Ikuya choosing to continue their pro careers with strokes that better suit their strengths isn’t abandonment, just like Makoto choosing a university in Tokyo wasn’t, but Haru is so lost in his own stress and despair that he can’t see these choices as anything but personal attacks in the moment. These choices don’t have to do with Haru and we’re never meant to hurt him (which he comes to realize by the end of each fight), but the unresolved issues mixed with his fears make him explode.

It’s not a black and white situation where only one side is in the right, and I hope whatever resolution comes in the second movie acknowledges that. Rin didn’t deserve Haru’s taunting and wrath in that moment, but I do want him to reflect on the whole mess and recognize that Haru’s in a desperate place not unlike the one he was in when he first went to Australia and seemingly cut everyone off. I want them both to consider that avoiding airing out those insecurities because it’d be uncomfortable or embarrassing ultimately led them back here, unsure how to talk about changes and concerns without first having one of them explode or hit rock bottom. They can be friends outside of swimming, I’d want them to be friends outside of swimming, but I think Haru isn’t blind to how much of their connection is reliant on intrigue in the water, and a part of him is scared that Rin won’t have a reason to stick around if they aren’t rivaling each other in the same stroke anymore.

All of this can make for a great chance of resolution in the second movie, if done well. There’s opportunity for Haru to realize that the trajectory of dreams can change, and just like Rin changing his stroke or Makoto changing his training emphasis, you can honor the parts of the dream that first inspired you while finding a path that honors the person you’ve become. There’s opportunity for Haru to break from the dangerous echo chamber he’s currently in telling him he has to do this all alone in a few ways. Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “I gave up everything and still couldn’t get stronger, so now I need to get back to finding what gives me strength personally.” Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “if my only option is a path paved in loneliness, I need to find a new dream.” There are so many directions the story can go in at this point, and I’m excited to see what happens next (and maybe write about the paths they don’t choose lol).

[firelxdykatara]

kitty i can't wait for your thoughts of Shadow and Bone asdfasfaw

Ok well I just finished and I have so many fucking thoughts. Most good! Some, less so. Part of it may just be my bias because I’ve only read the Six of Crows duology and have little interest in actually reading the original trilogy, because I know how it ends and Leigh clearly hates me personally and doesn’t want me to be happy (/j), so I was already predisposed to be far more invested in the Crows and Darkling/Darklina segments (genuinely, the Mal/Malina scenes/storyline bored me to tears, and while I appreciate that the show went out of its way to change Mal’s character to make him much less of a toxic douchebag [I’ve read enough excerpts and explanations of his actions in the books to really loathe book!Malina], it isn’t enough to make me ship them when Darklina is right there), but I also don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the Crows absolutely stole the show.

It’s actually kind of funny, because I’d assumed they were only being so heavily marketed to hype the show up even more, since while there’s a lot of TGT/SoC fandom overlap they are also two fundamentally different genres and I’d wager there are a lot of people who are massive fans of one but not so enthused with the other, while remaining fairly insignificant to the overall plot. Turns out, they make up fully half of the show’s runtime (much to my delight). Which is part of what I think will help this series stand on its own, both as a book adaptation and simply as a fantasy TV series.

I’ll put more of my story-specific thoughts under a cut, so there’s lots of show spoilers to follow!

I know that a lot of early reviewers were saying that Alina’s motivations and storyline revolved too much around Mal, and that really held true for me. It made sense in the beginning--he was the only constant in her life, she was thrust into something new, terrifying, and completely unfamiliar, and they’d developed an unhealthy codependence as a coping mechanism for their childhoods and the traumas they faced, the lives they lead growing up in a war-torn country. But she started coming into her power, falling for the General--not just his power and charisma, but what she felt when she was with him. The way he helped her summon the sun, the way she felt free in a way she never had before.

Until it all went to shit--but the Darklina make-out scene in episode 5? Fucking iconic. Poetic fucking cinema. The way they were quite literally about to have sex on that wartable (and someone better write fic of that moment, what if they hadn’t gotten interrupted), and the General left, but then he ran back just to kiss her one more time... this is what OTPs are made of ok.

I think what really bothers me overall is that Alina ultimately lacked agency in her one storyline, pretty much the entire way through. She did make a few choices, but they were mostly incidental, and a lot of it was Alina desperately trying to get back to Mal rather than seizing her own power and destiny and running with it. The most prominent example is the end of episode 5--Alina is having happy make-outs and almost bones the General in his own war room, and then he leaves, and Baghra comes in and infodumps to her about how evil he is and how he’s only using her and she needs to escape.

I recognize that a lot of this is probably because that’s essentially what happened in the book and Leigh is an executive producer for the show so she has a lot of shot-calling power. However, I really think that even in the book this plotline would’ve been better-served by having Alina make these discoveries on her own.

For example, imagine that the letters which were used as framing devices for episodes 2 and 3 were vitally important to the plot, rather than being one-offs that are mentioned a few times but not really affecting much of anything. Alina begins to get suspicious when she doesn’t receive word from Mal, and she starts wondering if her letters are even reaching him--so she starts snooping. She finds ashes in the war room hearth, late at night,, and recognizes a fragment of Mal’s signature and larger piece of her own. She now knows that someone--possibly the General, but maybe that creepy priest guy, or someone else in the palace--is keeping her and Mal from contacting one another. So she starts snooping around even more. She asks the General leading questions, trying to figure out what the truth is of his intentions. She still feels this pull--this connection to him, and she hopes she’s wrong, but she’s not willing to just sit around and wait for the other shoe to drop.

The Winter Fete still happens, she still gets the hot make-out session with the General, and then when he’s called away, she snoops through his papers, looking for anything that can tell her the truth. She finds a hidden compartment filled with journals.

She reads about Aleksander’s past (and, incidentally, wasn’t that supposed to be a huge moment in the books, him revealing his true name to her in private? kinda wish it had been kept that way in the show but who knows where they’ll go with it in the future)--that leads to the flashbacks in episode 6. She feels for him, but she also reads further--she gets a firsthand look at his desire for power, something that began as a noble desire to save his people, but was twisted by a lust for vengeance (for his lost love and all the Grisha who were killed) and shot through with greed, the realization that if he found the Sun Summoner he could control the Fold, rather than just destroy it. He could create a new world where Grisha could live without fear--where Grisha could rule.

Alina is terrified. Whoever the General used to be--whatever humanity she saw flickering in his eyes, the way his heart fluttered when they kissed--she can’t trust that it’ll be enough to save her from plans centuries in the making. So she goes to Baghra, the woman who helped her discover her power, learn to channel it--the woman who always seemed to know much more than she ever let on. Baghra gives her side of the story--Alina got it from the General’s perspective first, now Baghra is telling her something framed much differently. She isn’t sure what or who to trust, but she knows that Baghra seems willing to help her escape--but rather than trusting her ‘loyal Grisha’, she makes the choice she made in the show, to choose the other path, and winds up with the Crows.

Idk how Mal and the Stag thing would fit into this (if it isn’t obvious by now, Mal just... doesn’t interest me), but Alina’s story and her character arc would be so much stronger for it. And she’s supposed to be the central character, so her story being weak and her agency so frequently being compromised ultimately hurts the show as a whole.

I know I’ve gone on and on about Alina and the Darkling (look, I’m a slut for enemies-to-lovers, and also lovers-to-enemies-and-back, so Darklina and Helnik are where so much of my investment is rooted--plus Kanej, but that almost goes without saying), but the true standouts of the series were the Crows. Inej, Kaz, and Jesper, and Nina and Matthias in their episodes, stole the show (along with the Darkling, Ben is far and away the best actor in the cast and I love that for him, but Freddy, Amita, and Kit are also amazing, and Danielle&Calahan were fucking phenomenal as Nina and Matthias--I do have to say, though, that the whole cast is really solid and has amazing chemistry).

They worked together so perfectly--Freddy and Amita communicated so much with their eyes alone, especially together, and a whole lot of their relationship dynamic is rooted in how they exist together, which really came through. The show altered the Crows timeline considerably (I’m pretty sure Kaz would’ve been 14 during the original trilogy lol), so Inej is still at the Menagerie, but things like Kaz putting up the Crow Club for Inej’s freedom, the way Kaz needed her but could never bring himself to say it (until the end of the season dklhfgdkjfgh i SCREAMED)--the way Jesper played off the both of them, and it’s so obvious they all love each other even though they’re criminals and thieves and murderers, and Kaz would never admit it (out loud--which actually feeds into my theory that his love language is acts of service; Kaz does things for the people he cares about, he never announces it and he will almost always try to downplay it, but the way you know he cares is if, for example, he puts his entire life, everything he built, up as collateral for your freedom), but they’re a family.

One thing that I was kind of iffy about was Inej’s refusal to kill--but I thought it might be something they were planning to work into her overall character arc, and they did. It was the one line she hadn’t crossed--in the books, I’d imagine that it took a while for Inej to wind up at that point, being willing to kill on top of everything else. So I actually like that they worked that into the Crows plotline, and Inej killing for the first time was to save Kaz’s life.

Just like Kaz’s first selfless act was to save her.

(He’d deny it, of course. He protects his investments. He needed her for the job. But the truth is, he did it for her. And he’d do it again. Even if he’d never admit it.)

Meanwhile, Nina and Matthias’ storyline was pretty much note-for-note according to their backstory as it was revealed in Six of Crows, and I loved every second of it. Their chemistry was perfect, their journey from enemies to begrudging allies to friends to maybe something more (Matthias’ stomach cockblocking them when they were about to kiss had me fucking SCREAMING AT THE TV, and then of course the whole ‘betraying him to save him’ thing happened and I sobbed), and then suddenly right back to enemies.

Because from Matthias’ perspective, he trusted a witch--believed in her, liked her, wanted her--and she turned on him. He has no idea that she wasn’t the one who knocked him out in the first place, and no reason to believe her, because as far as he knows, she just confirmed everything he’d ever been told about Grisha. That they are deceitful and treacherous, would turn on you as soon as look at you, that they are dangerous and not to be trusted. It wasn’t revealed in-show but I imagine Matthias’ backstory is largely the same, which means that his entire family was slaughtered by Grisha when he was a young boy, and then he was turned into a brainwashed child soldier by the witch hunters and never knew anything else.

They are perfectly primed for their SoC arc next season and I, for one, am so stoked to see the rest of their journey. And if I slip Netflix a couple twenties, maybe they’ll let Helnik have a happy ending please please please.

Anyway, yeah! I have a lot of thoughts but things are still percolating in my head so I’ll probably float around the tags for a bit and let things settle. This is just a preliminary overview of my thoughts in the immediate aftermath of bingeing the entire show in one night kldfjghdkjfhgkjgf

EDIT TO ADD: I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THE TRUE STAR OF THE SHOW, M I L O

MILO BEST BOY. MILO THE MVP. MILO DESERVES ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD AND I HOPE HE LIVES A HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND FULL LITTLE GOAT LIFE.

[treason-and-plot]

REPLIES TO RAJ’S WORSHIPFUL WORDS

@streetlightaurora​

Looool, I imagine that ending isn't doing Mia any favors 🤣

@windermeresimblr​

Was the "Therapy" by Raj's head intentional or a happy accident?

A happy accident!

@dandylion240​

Their two mind sets are so fundamentally different. Mia is too used to instant gratification to work well with Raj. I don't believe for a minute that a quickie in the backseat would ever cure Mia of Raj XD

That’s right, it would just serve make her even more heartsick. Raj knows this and tried to tell her the night they kissed but I’m not sure if Mia gets it! Although he does enjoy teasing her, which is very naughty of him, lolol! 

@whyhellosims​

I for one am glad Raj doesn't just see Cookie as only a means to an end, it's such a cold and ugly way to use someone's feelings against them. And I also doubt a quickie would've done anything more than make Mia more horny for him. Does she think if she sleeps with him, his heart will follow or something? Is that her ultimate goal with Raj? I don't see her being content with just sex for long.

Yes, earlier Raj gave Mia a very simplified overview of his relationship with Cookie, and one which wasn’t very nuanced, because a) he was drunk and b) it was Mia he was talking to, and Mia has made no secret of her dislike of Cookie. And you are absolutely right re the proposed quickie! Mia was honest about her feelings towards Raj that same fateful and drunken night on Raj’s houseboat: ‘She decides that she will just stay drunk and live with Raj on the houseboat forever. He won’t mind, he’s already confessed that he likes her! She’s sure he will grow to love her, just as much as she loves him, maybe more! Especially after they have sex, which will be sooooooo good they won’t leave the boat for weeks! Months!’ Sober Mia is a little bit more in denial, though. (Raj isn’t fooled at all, lol!) She likes to project an image of a girl who is happy-go-lucky, fun-loving and sexually liberated, and in keeping with that image pretends to herself, and him, that all she wants from him is sex, but the reality is that having sex with him would only make her even more besotted, a fact of which Raj is fully aware. 

@sweetnovember77​

Oh, I see. Playing a game of pool with Raj was just a decoy. Mia was actually hoping to lead Raj into a brief act of sexual intercourse. Ahhh. Intelligence reveals itself in many ways.

Mia at the pool table while Raj chalks his cue: 

@zosa95​

Gah! He's taunting her 😆

@muses-circle​

Heh. Mia wants to play a game "of pool". More like a game of wits to entice Raj to sleep with her. And he's gonna torment her with his beliefs, isn't he?

Lolol exactly! He is more than a match for her though. And torment is the perfect word!! He just couldn’t help himself;=) 

@wannabecatwriter​

Does he even realize what these words are doing to her?

@simcatcher​

I had so much respect for Raj before now, and I realize I hadnt met my own limits. How sexy. I bet Mia is a burning puddle of feels. I would be. Omg. I am.

This is the greatest compliment ever because I was so worried it might come out sounding cringey or unbearably arrogant! Thank you so much, Ana. Personally I would be a puddle too, and I cannot wait for Mia’s reaction, lolol! Raj might end up in the situation below!

@simcatcher​

Lmao Diana said it all xD this

@ivorycrayon​

I don’t know why but Raj has always seems full of shit to me :p Manipulative git.

He does give that impression, and never more so than when he was with Naomi, but I think it’s fair to say that he has always done the right thing by Mia. (at least according to his own moral code, which others may find questionable!) 

merrymomo

You douche! Now she wants it even more!

[michibikionmain]

This isn’t THE tommyinnit villain essay but it sure is one of them

Ok ok so 4 those of u who aren't on discord with me: i have two main essays that have been in the works for MONTHS, these being my Complete Dream character analysis essay going in-depth for nearly all of his canon interactions and finding his character traits and motivations through the story, and my Tommyinnit (and Wilbur Soot) were Always The Villains on the server essay talking about how the only reason so many people view them as the good guys or heroes is because we see the story from their perspective mainly. This essay? Is not either of those. BUT, it does go through a lot of my thoughts on Tommy and Dream’s characters so I figured I’d post it. maybe itll help me organize my thoughts 4 my Mega Projects lol

@ranboocore bc u helped me pop off on this so hard LMAO

Warning, it’s VERY Tommy Critical, what a suprise. I do not like Tommy as a character lol. idk what triggers yall might need me to tag but if u need one in particular pls lmn!

My biggest issue with tommy's character is that he SAYS hes learned but he never does he is exactly the same person he was at the start of the server just More Sad and with Trauma, when out of all the characters he's had the most push to change. c!Tommy is a very tell-don't-show character which can make it hard for some people to connect to him, especially those who don’t directly share his trauma or see themselves in his character. Of course, there is still a MASSIVE amount of people who relate to his struggles and thus love him regardless of his writing, but those who can't relate to him will always feel some kind of barrier until the things they've talked about are actually shown to the viewer instead of being spoon-fed to them.

It is a very beginner writing thing, and I'm hoping that Tommy is figuring out how to fix this, maybe with support from the many other writers on the server. There's the 3 you mentioned, plus fundy, niki, and maybe tubbo who also play dnd, plus Dream who said he would've been an English major and does a lot of personal writing for fun.  I think the biggest issue in the writing lies in the individual ccs being inexperienced in the medium, particularly with planning out their own character growth. 

Another glaring issue I have with c!Tommy is how he's framed to be sympathetic and he goes through all these horrible things without acknowledging his role in any of them. The things that have happened to him are a direct result of his actions, but the thing is HE won't acknowledge and so it falls flat. This isn’t to say that being abused is his fault, because it’s NEVER the vicitm’s fault, but being exiled? His multiple fights with c!Dream? His friendships falling apart? Losing the disks in the first place? They’re the direct consequences of HIS OWN actions, but he never acknowledges this and constantly just... brushes off any accountability by either saying that it’s Dream fault or simply SAYING he feels bad without properly showing it through redemption and GROWTH.

Denial is useful in storytelling sometimes, but Tommy's character has been in denial since the very beginning of the server and at this point it's just exhausting. He only ever switches between denial and depression, not really going through all 5 stages of grief properly. His violent/upset reactions would be more powerful if they were any different from how tommy usually acts, but this is always how he is. When he “lashes out” because he’s reached the end of his patience, it doesn’t SEEM like the snap it is because that’s just... it’s seriously just his standard reaction to everything. It hold no WEIGHT to see c!Tommy yell at someone violently or threaten to fight them because he does that anyways!

Static characters can be a good thing, and can be interesting if done correctly, but not every character SHOULD or CAN be static in a story.

Static characters need to have their position or behavior challenged and question, where they look into if the way they see and interact with the world is really the 'correct' one or just evaluated to see if they truly believe in them. This questioning period is CRUCIAL! and NEEDS to be well done in a way that ACTIVELY SHOWS the conflict between the two ideals. If they decide to hold onto their beliefs/continue their behavior then, it feels deserved, because rather than just being a flat "they do thing its who they are" they have defined WHY. WHY is a very important question to think of when telling the difference between dynamic and static characters. The why of a character is ESSENTIAL to developing them as a relatable, sympathetic person rather than a flat story telling device. It makes them a human rather than a puppet. When a character's motives aren't well defined or discussed, they're doomed to fall flat in everything else, because the WHY is the foundation of what makes them who they are.

c!Tommy has an underdeveloped "why", his motivations are weak, rarely properly discussed and when they are it doesn't particularly stick with him. His motivations change without showing us the internal struggle that should come from literally shifting your driving principles. There are some good MOMENTS of him reevaluating the importance of certain things, but they're so spread out and contradictory and immediately spat one that they're hard to piece together. He TELLS us what his motivations are as well, which is another big flaw when it comes to all that but we don't have time to unpack all THAT Anyways, the key to static story telling is reaffirmation. The character goes through a complete journey and ends with the same beliefs because they've looked into why they have them and determined that they still matter to them. A great example of static writing in my eyes is c!Techno, who since the beginning has believed that governments are bad. c!Techno enters the server to destroy a government, and still ends up doing that because he sees and we see him experience that the reasons he didn't like government before still hold true and he has no reason to support them any more than before, and so his anarchist beliefs are REAFFIRMED, proving to him that they way he handles things is the right one for him.

c!Tommy’s attachments are all just... they're all so weird.  like he LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES for L'manburg. By action of sacrifice it seems like it should be the most important thing to him, but then he throws it away for some disks that mattered less to him just a minute ago.  But then it's all about how c!Tubbo is worth more than Anything and maybe he's found something more important! but then he shoves THAT out the window for the discs again ig!!! but then it's about l’manburg again? Make it make sense.... pls....

Here's smth that really irks me about Tommy's character, and is kind of weird but give me a second to explain: Tommy has never actually permanently lost much of anything on the server. Every punishment he's ever received he's tried to find some way around. And like... I'm not expecting him to be HAPPY to face the consequences of his actions but seeing him constantly have his cake and eat it too is very irritating, especially when there are characters who DO have to deal with actual permanent sacrifices. The whole thing with the disks. where he WILLINGLY OFFERED THEM UP AND GAVE THEM AWAY THEN SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO STEAL THEM BACK WHILE CLAIMING DREAM STOLE THEM FROM HIM, is the biggest example of this, but it's generally his characters way of dealing with things. He's very backhanded and conniving, constantly calling himself "big man" except for when he wants things from people and he plays up the "iM a MiNoR" card to try and get them to give him things or feel bad. He's not just some sweet innocent kid like people paint him, he knows damn well he's messed up and while he SAYS he feels bad about it, he has never once really shown, with his ACTIONS, regret for what he's done except for the stuff with c!Sapnap, which could it could be argued he did because he thought it would help get c!Sapnap on his side to fight Dream and he knew c!Sapnap was a skilled warrior and could possibly be persuaded to fight with dream.

c!Tommy is in NO way some sweet innocent child, he knows what he's doing. He KNEW l'manburg was a drug empire, and wanted to turn his hotel into the same He was FULLY prepared to just murder c!Schlatt for legally winning an election that he KNEW was rigged AND INTENDED TO HELP RIG HE LITERALLY TEAMED UP WITH c!TECHNOBLADE KNOWING THAT HE INTENDED TO BLOW UP L'MANBURG AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE REALIZED IT WASN'T GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM--

The line of c!Wilbur saying "Tommy, are we the bad guys?" wasn't him mentally going batshit it was him realizing that the entire time they've been doing terrible things. c!Wilbur was literally ALWAYS Vilbur but the time people CALL Vilbur is when c!Will himself realized he was a villain.

[m0e-ru]

eight months in somebody actually asked me abt visualive instead of me immediately annoying ppl about it without former notice. I might actually write properly for once 😳😳😳

OK OK!!!!! In this essay I will.... I will.... Visualive Adachi.... Visu/BURSTS INTO TEARS/

OKAY OKAY for real I just care Visualive so much (as someone who can’t fully understand Japanese AHAHA)

First I’ll add some foundation about what Visualive really is, then I talk abt Adachi in the latter parts of it because this is technically the first time I’m properly talking about this hehe 🐿

T....table of contents???

Visualive

Visualive the Evolution

Masami Itou

Visualive Adachi

Visualive the Evolution Adachi

Terms and Legend

VL - Visualive

VLE - Visualive the Evolution

stage - shortened for “stageplay”

面白い - omoshiroi (it’s just that specific)

Yuuya - VL Hero name

Hayato - VLE Hero name

Baba - Hero

Masami - Adachi

Taniguchi - Dojima

Saotome - Daisuke

Mamiya - Izanami

I add honorifics but sometimes I forget the hyphen intentionally or unintentionally I’m sorry if it makes it hard to read lol

all links have automatic timestamps for easy viewing. i mean. i hope the timestamps work

VISUALIVE “Persona 4.” A stage adaptation of SMT: Persona 4 by Atlus. It adapts the first part of the story, from the hero’s arrival to after recovering Mitsuo Kubo from the TV world. It also ends on a cliff hanger, showing a teaser of Shadow Naoto being projected on the screen.

It takes up a speedy recapitulation of the hero’s spring life, before slowing down and showing in depth his school life in summer. A day before Morooka-sensei’s death, there is a little skit with Kou, Daisuke and Adachi. The hero walks into the conversation before the two other boys leaving, and Morooka-sensei walking in on the student and detective. The next day follow’s the teacher’s death and the Investigation Team (IT) begin investigating their new lead.

From the words “visual” and “alive,” the niche of this stage was meant to be the fusion of live acting and visual digital projections. All seen from the stageplay with the colorful cast of actors and CG animations being projected on the screen. This offers an opportunity for characters to summon their personas, perform cool visual effects, change the backdrop, or even confront their own Shadows.

Performed in Sunshine Theater from the 15th to the 20th of March 2012. The screenplay was written and directed by Shintaro Asanuma from the theatrical group “bpm.” The video production produced by Shutaro Oku, a film director and visual planner. He later takes over as director for VISUALIVE THE EVOLUTION, the sequel stage. The stage music was produced by Shunsuke Wada, with a special show exclusive vocal track sung by Shihoko Hirata.

On this note, I haven’t seen any sort of original soundtrack released for any of the stages and I’m SO SAD. The last song in Mitsuo’s boss fight was such a BANGER and literally EVERYTHING ELSE Marvelous, Wadasan please take my MONEY

Regarding the cast, there were some special accommodations for Teddie, Rise, and Nanako, all of which did not have live actors at the time. During the casting, actors for the three characters could not be found or simply left the directors unsatisfied they couldn’t cast anybody. An exception for Rise, who was able to have a live actor in the sequel stage. It has been stated that there weren’t any “pretty boy” actors that fit the “Teddie Criteria.” While there weren’t any child actors that were believed to portray Nanako well.

Teddie was only ever seen in his bear costume while Rise was busy talking through a call, all voiced by their video game cast. Nanako has never appeared on stage, only being scarcely mentioned in the script. Again, this is different in the sequel stage where her role was extremely important and was shown as a screen projection.

VISUALIVE “Persona 4” THE EVOLUTION. A sequel stage. Beginning abruptly in the middle of Shadow Naoto’s boss fight, the story continues from there until the “true end” of the game’s original story. *Certain characters are introduced while others have been reintroduced. And on a personal note, when it’s all comedic in the beginning, it’s all for what’s coming right after.

I don’t know if I’m salty or just find it really funny AHAHA I might go talk abt it some other day with more context ehehe

Performed in The Galaxy Theater from the 3rd to the 9th of October 2012, only a few months after the PSVITA Persona 4 Golden release, which is July 2012. The screenplay was now written by Jun Kumagi while directed by Shutaro Oku. And music production finally taken over by Shoji Meguro himself.

---

HAHAHA this is starting to look like a wiki page. moving on. I might start rambling rn

(warning LONG !!!! aaa,,)

My thoughts on the stage adaptations. For the first Visualive (VL) I believe it’s pretty close to canon! I enjoy the characterization and how much love and care was present when handling the entire production.

Actors were busy playing the game itself, wherein a PS2 was present in the practice room. Along with magazines and game guides explaining the game’s story and the characters itself. Actors performing together and even improv acting together to get a grasp of their characters. All of them knowing well of Persona 4 as a well loved game, delicately handling their characters and hopefully performing them right while making the audience happy.

The staff taking care of each other while the director and video producer, Asanuma-san and Oku-san, working together well to make their vision into a reality.

The same thing happened with VL the Evolution (VLE) and literally every other good stage. Except... I feel the script kinda got out of hand with too much liberty where it feels a bit more disconnected from canon. But! It makes up for it in its content, whether comedic or (INCREDIBLY) dramatic! It’s great as its own story at that point. So in this case, I like to take the first VL and get to connect it canon, while I don’t know what the hell happened in VLE to the point I’ll just enjoy it as its own content.

These opinions deserve its own essay, post whatever bc I have SO much to say abt this. ANYWAY. VL ADACHI

---

Tohru Adachi is portrayed by Masami Itou (伊藤マサミ), a screenplay writer, director and an stage actor himself. He does have a single character voice role along with a fellow troupe member in the same franchise, but mostly works as the former three. He is part of Asanuma-san’s entertainment group “bpm.” On a similar note, Masashi Taniguchi, Dojima’s actor, was also part of their group from 2011 to 2016, which may explain their good synergy as the boss and the bumbling fool dynamic. I mean, somebody’s gotta get hit in the head every few skits.

With Masami-san being an important part of the cast, he doesn’t appear as often as Taniguchi-san in backstage content like the VL bonus disk or the official blog. Mentioned in his own personal blog, he had been busy with his roles as assistant director (I am assuming also for VL).

Also fun to note, because his role is mainly comic relief, he has been using his liberty to change up the material almost everyday making each performance exciting. This also leaves some other actors jealous of his freedom in his role, such as Saotome-san, Daisuke’s actor.

---

VL Adachi really has a... how do I say this? an adorable speech pattern (THE SAME SPEECH PATTERN THAT DROVE ME MAD TRYING TO DECIPHER I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CITY BOY OSSU OSSU MY ASS /shakes you violently/). Overall, he really fits the loose lipped bumbling fool, and his accent really makes him seem more casual and invested. What I’m saying is... VL Adachi either actually has genuine empathy or he actually has more energy to fake it (compared to some other edgelord. i mean you saw my p4ga analysis. I’m sick of him lol ahaha).

One of my favorite ways to explain this (OTHER THAN CHAIR CAR ADVENTURE MY BELOVED WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER) is the rice field scene with him and Dojima. It’s overanalyzation time 🎉

(43:04)

While investigating, Adachi whines about being tired while Dojima smacks him in the head. In this case, it’s established that Adachi doesn’t want to be there, yes? It’s the country, it’s hot and it smells like green.

"Ah... Dojima-san..! Why don't we take a break? (...) There really is nothing out here... Is the criminal still even here at all? (...) I wonder if I've passed being a rookie yet. Haha, but this city doesn't even have convenient transportation. I can't go to leisure lands (recreation, amusement parks, arcades, ect.) and head home at all."

Adachi then tries to tell Dojima a story. “when I got to this city after being newly assigned, I met an interesting guy (...) Yeah, I remember that the cherry blossoms haven't bloomed yet. So, I was driving my car and got near the station and--” Dojima gets a phone call.

Adachi politely puts his hands down waiting for his boss to finish so he can finish the story. Again and again, Adachi attempts to talk to Dojima about a story he’s so persistent trying to tell someone about. It was so 面白い that he would find someone to talk to about it. Even being polite and patient enough to wait for a chance to speak. He even gets fed up with it and blows up in front of his boss, clearly irritated he’s not given a chance to talk.

Sure, it could be Adachi feeling fed up like a normal person where someone agreed he to listen to him, before being constantly ignored. Or Adachi trying to be a more annoying whiny brat, depending on where you look at it.

If the story wasn’t too “interesting” to Adachi, he would’ve just brushed it off and stopped talking to Dojima entirely, or start up new small talk, or even complain some more. But no, he had a story he wanted to voice out so bad that he got irritated that the one person in the vicinity couldn’t listen to him.

Only after Dojima told him to continue their investigation elsewhere did Adachi finally stop and focus on something else. Maybe that story was for another day, or maybe it was never meant to be told.

What if it was just original (game) Adachi? He’d find a way to squirrel out of the investigation as usual, or push Dojima to “investigate” elsewhere. “Hey boss, don’t you think it’s hot? Why don’t we go elsewhere? We’ve seen this place too many times to count and I doubt anything new’ll turn up. How about we take a break at Junes, y’know? Where it’s cool? C’mon boss,” something like that.

og Adachi is just really annoying and silly to me. Some grown man thinking he can freeload because he never gets anything out of putting in more energy and effort? I don’t care how tall he is, I will smack him in the head.

Yeah VL Adachi whines, too, but at least it doesn’t look like he’s going to escape and waste his time somewhere else. He just sucks it up stops trying to leave the situation.

Or maybe I’m getting this all wrong and VL is exactly the same and my rage just gets dampened because of Masamisan’s execution of character hmm...

SO. What was his story about anyway? The one he really wanted to share to Dojima?

I mean... it’s obvious enough

First day in town? Spring? Actually mentioned driving a car when literally out of every single persona 4 media at the time was there not a SINGLE mention of Adachi having a car OTHER THAN the same stageplay it’s being mentioned in?

A story, from somewhere around uhh four? five months ago? was something that he remembered so dearly and was willing to share despite it obviously embarrassing him even if he puts the blame on a certain somebody in the same story?

Or maybe it’s because he really had nothing to talk about ever since he realized all his stories from the city weren’t actually that funny or interesting in the first place.

BUT then that would mean out of all the things he could talk about—more whining, complaining, complimenting, small talk—he insisted about talking about this story in particular.

Okay, look. I’m just. Just. As someone who talks too much, of course I have things I actually want people to hear out of all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. And if the thing I actually want people to listen to doesn’t even get heard, I’d go mad.

Sure, Adachi’d be fine when his complaints or intentionally unfunny jokes get brushed off. But a story of a guy that he thought was so funny, interesting, 面白い gets ignored, he really blew up, even just for a split second, maybe.

And ALL the things that happened in that story—on his first day in Inaba! His car got dented, he had to deal with a weirdo dumbass employee that knew zero personal space, yelled in his ear, who didn’t know how to do their job, got his station reputation messed up on the first day, got his ass grabbed, got (unintentionally?) mocked for his lame stories, and got his car dented for the SECOND time. Probably MORE

And he STILL wanted to talk about it /punches through concrete wall/

yes I’m overthinking about this of course i am

This little tidbit of VL Adachi kinda makes me go insane sometimes—his entire characterization in VL in particular. It was really refreshing to see and how they included both of his characters in it, his facade and how irritated he is of a lot of things underneath. And how flexible his character is immediately working with other characters when there’s sudden improv to balance the situation. Like him and Dojima, Morooka, the attendant, or even Yuuya (hero) himself.

I’ll take Taniguchi-san’s messing around in the VL bonus backstage disc in place of Masami-san being so busy he couldn’t appear in it as often as other characters.

For stagetime that lasted for fifteen minutes or less, my appreciation for VL Adachi, even if he was just comic relief, really rocketed. I say VL, bc Adachi the edgelord he’s supposed to be in literally every other media is something I analyze separately.

I haven’t even gotten to VLE oh my GODDDDD

Like I said, I don’t really regard VLE close to canon but as something to be appreciated for what it is by itself. But the way Adachi was characterized there, in or out of character, still struck me.

---

Yes, there was his strange fan-agreed-canon which is,,, now canon obsession with cabbages (not that that’s a bad thing lmao). There was also him being a lot more jumpy and intimate in a clowny way, patting people on the shoulder or even downright hugging them just to mess around. Even FORGETTING who the same goddam loser who grabbed his ass almost a year ago is. But like, can’t blame him they literally changed their actor (and screenplay writer) AHAHAHA

ha... no more comedy, only dorky sword fights now

(speaking of sword fights I think it’s a fun thought how Mamiya-san [Izanami, also one of the youngest in the cast] admitted it was his first time doing sword fight choreography and even thanked Masami-san and other staff members for guiding him)

One thing unintentionally in character was Adachi accidentally nabbing the sushi overdosed in wasabi. Masami-san didn’t actually account for a joke sushi and didn’t immediately eat it—until Taniguchi-san (who also made Dojima go off his shits compared to VL) jokingly yelled at him and even riled up the audience for him to eat it. He even went off stage to get water just for him to eat the goddam sushi.

And Masami-san did! (kinda choked, but he’s fine).

Continuing from the same scene, while being overly giddy about sushi dinner (and I mean overly--he was singing about it while hopping to the Dojima residence), he tried to remind the two, Dojima and Hayato (hero), that Nanako was sleeping. Probably where she was sick if the scene was translated from the game.

(30:07)

And... the dramatic parts of VLE

Adachi was the one who reported to the IT that Dojima was chasing Namatame in the rain. While Naoto was discussing Namatame’s journal entries, Adachi, as giddy as he is, took it from Naoto’s hands and reveled in the discovery of evidence so childishly(?). He even ran to Dojima when he began regaining consciousness and immediately called the nurses to help him wheel Dojima to the ER.

Then, The Hospital Scene™️, right after Nanako flatlines.

(1:02:02)

Adachi, who recently walked into the scene, immediately worries about Dojima and IT who were ALL crying. He looks down, devastated—before yelling how Dojima’s heading to Namatame’s room.

He yells in terror and the same grief at his injured boss, all while running past and even jumping over children, who fell to the ground sobbing, to get to him. He continues yelling in a pained fashion while immediately reprimanding Dojima to stop. He gets carried by the collar before being tossed to the ground at Hayato’s feet, all while being pat by the same boy.

Dojima makes his speech about how unfair it is for the ‘killer’ to be alive when his daughter isn’t. When he finally falls to his knees, Adachi rises from the ground, humbly saying he’ll do his best to take care of Dojima (or something like that I’m in tears I literally can’t do VLE’s hospital scene i h8 this). He finally starts crying along with everyone else, being pushed away again but still tries again, trying to usher his boss away from the door.

With the help of the guard in front of the door, they all disappear off stage

please... I know this scene doesn’t need that much translation because of how important this scene is in the entire story. and I know my narratives aren’t enough so just,,,, just watch it please it’s so much more than this. everyone’s acting was just spectacular

(1:08:47)

So, after the IT (YOSUKE. JUST YOSUKE. good job Mae-chan) stop themselves from k wording Namatame, it was ADACHI who reported Nanako’s miracle recovery. He ran to the same corridor where they all cried in, even panting and falling to the ground in relief trying to report the good news. Then he pats Hayato on the shoulder and says he’s going to Dojima.

With this... /slaps roof of half of VLE/ ALL of this....adachi.... adachisan.... he Cares™️..... holy shit.....

now. comparing to the game. do you even remember what og Adachi did? did he.. even do anything?????

(56:39)

NO!!! he just stood there!!!! being a bumbling fool but.... inappropriately!!! man. he didn’t act concerned enough.

adachi: /walks into a bunch of kids crying outside a hospital room/ “lmao why tf are y’all crying? did uhhh what’s her face uhhh nanako. did she d word or something? rip, I guess lol” LIKE????? CAN YOU IMPLY FASTER

and then he’s like “wgat hmm Where’s Dojima-san Heading Because That’s Not The Way To His Room 🤔” and only when he’s asked he actually mentions he’s heading to Namatame’s room and still needs to get choked by a first year for the room number like..... zero consideration

and his boss??? where his daughter he loves so much just??? di*s???? and he’s so devastated he’s doing what he can that very moment while he’s so numbed of thinking of the consequences???? And adachi goes “uhh boss that’s illegal” LIKE. BITCH. /punches through a concrete wall but harder/

---

And??? His confrontation scene??? Like, I know they mashed it up w his tv confession scene to save stagetime for other scenes BUT IT WAS SO MMBMBMBMMGN /gestures in a good way/

(1:15:56)

UM?? guy behind everything??? in a vulnerable area where he could easily get physically assaulted bc hes not in the tv world w his persona?? Trash talks women like he absolute misogynist he is??? getting yelled at by a bunch of kids and YELLING BACK IN THE SAME AGITATED MANNER even TAUNTING THEM then and there to GET HIS ASS?????

og Adachi was such a pussy he got caught and just scurried off into the TV world where he ended up having powers like...ok....scared of getting beat down by a bunch of highschoolers unless you have powers...ok....

he only taunted them to get him when he was in the tv world too.....he rlly couldn’t say shit in the real world huh... lol

(yeah yeah this shows how VLE Adachi knew abt his TV world powers which would make you think if he ever went into the tv world and came back out alive. Or he’s really just a badass who doesnt give a shit abt anyone’s opinions and CAN beat anyone’s ass. i have a separate thing abt this but bc i like to laught at vle rather than overthink its own lore i might. not. idk lol)

and ??? VLE Adachi can??? He can swordfight??? he doesn’t even NEED a gun—he even reflects bullets w his blade (but apparently he can still get slapped by a flying fan more often than any other attack). His fight choreo was just...so poggers. He’s like short villains done good—like??? he’s short compared to everyone else!!! but he makes up for it for stuffing all the energy inside him while is bursts out making him him the over energetic gremlin he is!!! go VL adachi!!!!

(am I low key making fun of Madono-san in the TUUSH stageplay I’ve seen four minutes of? maybe)

OK!!! Yes I was gushing abt Masami-san again back to Adachi.

It’s portrayed that while not being afraid to admit his crimes, he also goes out of his way to be a bastard and have the gall to get a bunch of kids to fight him, one on eight. He can use a katana, probably a narrative dark reflection of the hero, Hayato which I thought was nice—and he can fight!!! It also shows his persona, yes, but...it doesn’t make it clear if he’s overwhelmed by his Shadow like in the game, where his eyes were yellow and he was emitting a dark aura.

But it gets interesting how he sees he’s getting overwhelmed and starting to lose his edge towards a bunch of kids. He falls to the ground even banging the floor like a whiny brat while literally the IT tries to tell him to turn himself in. Again, like a brat he tells everyone to shut up—before getting incapacitated. While some of the IT rejoice, he bolts up unaccepting of his defeat—before getting hit in the stomach.

(1:23:54)

And his words from when he drops his katana, “Why..?” He grabs the foldable chair against his stomach, and with a remorseful look in his eyes, he says “I’m sorry..!”

THEN HE BACKFLIPS—then Hayato slashes him.

In a tone of disbelief, he goes “no way...” and collapses to the ground, being possessed by Ame-no-Sagiri.

Blah blah blah then Teddie rockets himself into the eyeball spy cam and then they both explode aaaaa

Teddie survives but I really don’t know where Adachi went. Not even a mention by Dojima if he turned himself in or was ever found—or I need to review VLE for the 48274827482nd time hehe

WHOO then the whole cast appears for the dance number at the end of show YAHOO

[sunsetcarnation264]

So, uh, that DT17 finale huh?

I would've made this right after I watched the finale, but I wanted to give it a bit of time to sink in fully and made sure I thought everything through before giving my thoughts on it. Not the worst finale there is, but it definitely could've been way better in my opinion. I've heard about the finale from my friends who've seen it, which from the sounds of it I already wasn't liking it, but since I've seen the finale now, how I feel about it is now concrete and set in stone and I feel the same as before. Maybe how I feel about it is in the minority side, or maybe a majority side, I dunno but I don't care. It's not the best it could've been and I'll explain why below. If you like it, good for you I guess because everyone's tastes are different, but I personally don't and I feel like the show deserves a much better finale than this. HEAVY DUTY DISCLAIMER: Just because I'm criticizing the finale doesn't mean I don't love the series, in fact it's because I love the show that I'm giving criticism and give what I would’ve done instead, and if you're anything like me and you're hella late to the party then there'll be spoilers for the finale. If you haven't caught up on the last episode, then you're not missing much honestly, but if you don't like spoilers regardless then watch that first then come back

The first part of the finale starts off like any other DuckTales 2017 episode. It's Webby's birthday, everyone's keeping their eyes out for F.O.W.L. shit, and Webby's enjoying herself. After a bit everyone goes below Funso's and they end up in F.O.W.L.'s territory. F.O.W.L. sets everything up to be on self-destruct, so they gotta find them and stop the self-destruction. They did happen to do the latter, but the F.O.W.L. members already escaped with almost everything. Just almost. The gang end up finding May and June, who're clones and they presume they're clones of Webby. Now this is where I'm starting to not like the finale. Yeah, you can do clones as like a plot twist, but at the same time it feels a bit outta nowhere. Had they foreshadowed it in another episode or have it lead up to the whole "oh shit there's clones of a character we know and love" thing then I wouldn't have a problem, but this came outta nowhere and I kept an eye on possible foreshadowing during season 3 and the rest of season 2 post The Duck Knight Returns too so I would've picked something up. The only thing that could count as foreshadowing was when Beakley promised Webby that she won't keep anymore secrets from her and the harp was saying "fibbing fibbing fibbing", but that's just it. Part two of the finale, Gyro does tests on them to see who they might've been clones of. He tries to tell everyone what the results are but when Scrooge asks him, he said it didn't come up with anything for him to answer the question. Beakley thinks they're both dangerous and locks them up in a closet. Webby, being a naive little girl, wants to talk to them because they're essentially her 'sisters' and she wants to know them more even though Beakley straight up tells her not to interact with them. Webby disregards what Beakley says anyways and she frees them, talks to them, and tries to show them her family tree so they can figure out where May and June came from. May and June are basically like "ehhhh this is your family tree? Who tf are you related to besides Beakley?" yeah, as if extended family or found family still ain't family you jerks. In the meantime, Louie just wants to watch his Ottoman Empire finale which ends up being shitty foreshadowing for the last part of this finale. You'll see why I mentioned this later. They even see Lena and Violet on there and are like "okay but who're those" which Webby responds with how they're her best friends and guess what one of the two clones goes to do? One of them grabs scissors and tries to cut it. When she does cut it, Lena's like "aw hell no bitch" and uses magic on her. Webby being Webby, is completely upset about this because "that was my sister how could you do that" and runs off like how one of the clones ran off. Bitch you only knew her for like five seconds, just because y'all be related don't mean you automatically THIS close to each other like how you are with Lena, Violet, Huey, Dewey, Louie, and anybody else in the McDuck family. I personally believe that love, trust, and respect is what makes people family, not blood/DNA, adoption, or they were married into the family or a step sib/kid/etc. If they're a harmful dick (i.e. a bigot who's queerphobic and/or racist or if they're an abuser, murderer, etc.) then you don't gotta treat them like family or say that they're your family. But anyways we're probs getting off topic, point is that she should trust those who she's known forever instead of clones she knew for a few minutes. Everybody tries to find Webby and one of the clones that ran off. Webby bumped into Beakley as she was tryna find May or June (I think May tho, don't recall) and she tries to lie her way outta it but Beakley knows what's up lol. She says that Webby wants to see the clones, Webby goes with it, and the younger duck wants to know who her parents were. Beakley tells her who her parents were (which might've either been a lie or she was describing herself and a late significant other that we've seen in Webby's picture of her parents) and Webby accepts it. Cut to later when she catches May and June trying to steal the ancient artifacts that Scrooge and co. retrieved during the entirety of season 3. She's shocked that they're even doing this, they all fight each other, and May escaped while June got knocked out. Webby disguises herself as June while she takes her outside where F.O.W.L. awaited them with an aircraft, most importantly Bradford. We only find out Webby was disguising herself as June when everyone got on. Huey notices what's going on and he goes after them, somewhat hiding in the aircraft before everyone leaves for the F.O.W.L. hideout. Not gonna lie, that was a pretty smart plan by Webby. Considering they all look identical and Webby's good at imitation, she can actually get away with this pretty well. This I actually really like and I wouldn't change too much about this. When Huey reveals himself to the three, Webby reveals herself to him but tells him to play along so they ain't fucked over. Somewhat worked. Webby keeps making little slips here and there which makes May hella suspicious of her. They land at the hideout, Webby tries to get what info she can while Huey's taken away. Thanks to the help of Pepper (who I love btw and I think deserves the best ;____;), Webby ends up finding the document room where there's documents on May, June, and a third person with the codename of April. She watches it and oh, shit, it turns out Bentina Beakley actually snatched her ass from F.O.W.L. when she was a baby! What a shocker! She couldn't believe what she was seeing! This is actually fine to me, her possibly being a clone actually makes sense because she could've been a clone of Beakley. Plus it's also a huge reference to how Webby was created to be a combination of Daisy's nieces April, May, and June back in the original series, though I dunno how many people would catch that, especially younger fans who might not have done the research to getting all of the references and easter eggs here. When Beakley was brought in (essentially she knocked Scrooge out without hurting him, went to here alone to take care of F.O.W.L. once and for all just for Webby, but got defeated along with some of the McDucks), everyone leaves Beakley, Webby, and the Harp alone and Webby somewhat confronts Beakley about her past. Needless to say, Webby ain't excited about this and she gets captured and tied up. She's actually pretty depressed, which I mean in a way I don't blame her since she wanted to know if that shit was real or if F.O.W.L. was fabricating it. Cut to Huey being brought to Bradford. Apparently he was a fellow Woodchuck too, though he wasn't the best despite being the very first Woodchuck by his grandmother Isabella Finch, in fact he was the worst which hahaha yeah I can actually believe that. It does explain why he hates adventures and all of that shit, one of the only things I'm willing to accept from the finale. He talks about how he wants to complete the collection "for the better" because Scrooge and everyone else in the family were the only ones to have Isabella's lost journal. Huey believes this at first. He stops believing it once he ends up finding Gyro and everyone else who're locked up. In the meantime, Bradford drags Webby out to a sort of box along with May and June. She doesn't know why she's brought up here. When she gets close to the box, the papyrus appears because... She's the descendant of... Of Scrooge McDuck. Okay no, JUST NAH MAN. This is where my biggest issue in the finale lies, the fact that she's a clone/made from Scrooge's DNA and is technically his "daughter". Not everybody has to be related to Scrooge McDuck to be great, in fact doing this to her actually ruins Webby's character. Her trope is "found family," not "I'm secretly part of the family this whole time and not even I knew it" and this fucks with it so badly. This show is about family, and all different kinds of it. Being taken care of by your uncles/aunts instead of your parents but still having a good relationship, some kids don't have parents and they're gone for whatever reason, being loved and accepted by other family members, some families are awful and abusive, hell some families have two same sex/gendered parents with a kid who's def adopted and one might've been adopted or been from a previous relationship, and it's also how sometimes we find people to call family because we found them and they found us. Webby was the one to fill in the finding those to find family alongside her grandma, but I feel like they're disregarding that just to have a huge plot twist. Again aside from Beakley keeping secrets from Webby, there was no foreshadowing and it makes a previous episode from season two (Nightmare on Killmotor Hill) seem kinda creepy in hindsight since she's over here wanting to be Scrooge himself, and creepy overall due to how obsessive she was over the whole McDuck family in general. You could say it's foreshadowing this whole time, since some people might actually be like this before realizing that "oh hey I'm actually related to this person" due to someone being adopted, given to someone else to take care of, divorce and each parent keeps one of the kids and they don't meet again until way later in life, which in a way is a fair point but at the same time not everyone's gonna notice this even when they look back at the previous episodes. If you're gonna do foreshadowing and a plot twist, you have to do it where looking back everyone can notice little details, not just a certain group of people, and you gotta make sure it's good. Every plot twist has it's foreshadowings, and every good one has a good amount for people to take a guess. Every bad plot twist, however, is either forced in just to shock the viewers or has shitty foreshadowing that's either extremely little or none. I will make a comparison between this and Steven Universe (which if you're still watching or haven't touched yet but haven't gotten up to season five, please skip this part to avoid spoilers for the show) because in Steven Universe, there were PLENTY of hints and foreshadowing that Rose Quartz was actually Pink Diamond and it was even a theory too that Rose was actually Pink, alongside a theory that Pearl was actually the one to shatter Pink Diamond and not Rose which ended up being true in a way that both fits. This was a good plot twist that everyone can watch the show from start to end once again and notice every little bits of details that led up to that plot twist reveal. (End of SU spoilers) This, however, isn't a good plot twist. It's a terrible one and, again, forced in, messy, and there's not enough foreshadowing that can be used to be like "oh I kinda saw that coming" or "oh shit!" and think it's a genuinely good twist. Also the fact that Webby called Scrooge "Dad" T W I C E in the finale, it doesn't sound right, I even voiced out loud that OH EW THAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM DAD THIS IS GROSS STOP IT LIKE JUST CALL HIM UNCLE SCROOGE LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE- Oh and this is meant to be a throwback to that Ottoman Empire finale foreshadowing thing from earlier btw lol The last few things I can note about this is the fight between Scrooge and Bradford, where the latter reveals that he was the one to tell Della about the Spear of Selene (which pisses Scrooge off so damn BADLY and it's the other thing I can accept from the finale, it seems like Bradford to do that shit), and the fact that Donald almost died for fucking good due to Bradford pushing his ass into a machine that can erase anything and everything from existence when put in there. He did so with his minions, so he has no qualms about doing so to Scrooge's family unless he signed the papyrus as a contract. Not that it worked anyways, since "family is the greatest adventure of all" which Bradford didn't understand one bit lol But the finale? Not good, the show deserved so much better and Huey deserved way better because this was his season. What I would've done differently is mainly how Webby is a "clone" or whatever you want to call her. It makes no sense for all of her DNA to be from Scrooge McDuck, which raises way too many questions. Why not Beakley? Why not a warrior from F.O.W.L. with a mix of McDuck DNA? Why is Webby a girl while Scrooge isn't? You could argue that oh he might be a trans guy, which while I absolutely LOVE trans and nonbinary headcanons (due to the fact I'm a nonbinary woman myself), it just feels like a cheap escape goat of an excuse to explain that and Scrooge being trans because of that? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh it doesn't feel right to me. If it was a combination of him and Beakley, then okay I'd get why she's like that, but it still has the problem of her being related to the family DNA-wise. Same with the clones honestly. Now what I would do differently is make it where she's a clone of someone (def not Scrooge) and make it where she has an identity-existential crisis. Who is she really? Is she this "April" character, or if she Webby like she's always known herself as her whole life? In the end, she accepts that she's herself, Webby Vanderquack, granddaughter of Bentina Beakley and an ally of Scrooge McDuck. May and June, on the other hand, are possibly failed attempts to recreate Webby, the perfect clone, in order to get the papyrus to appear which in of itself never stated it had to be a DIRECT heir to Scrooge McDuck (it just states that it requires an heir of Scrooge McDuck) like a daughter/son or whatever. You can go back to the episode "The First Adventure" to look at the papyrus if you want, but he wrote that it was to an HEIR not a descendant. It heavily supports how they changed a shit ton of things before the last season being this year instead of idk, try to make it better because they finished voicing the lines in January this year when they started doing season three around the time we got season two. Bradford gets frustrated, wondering how it couldn't have worked because HE HAS WEBBY RIGHT HERE. What he didn't realize was that it could've been someone within the family itself, one who's considered the smart one out of the bunch that wasn't Scrooge McDuck himself, someone who's also a fellow Junior Woodchuck. And that would be Hubert Duck, in which season three is meant to be his season. When he gets close, the papyrus appears but Bradford snatches it and runs off with it so he can finish up that contract he's spent FOREVER to make and force Scrooge to write his name there. As with May and June, I dunno what I would do with them, but if I rewrite the finale at some point (which I would be doing now with my mom, who watched the finale with me because we tend to watch stuff a lot, but I can't at the moment because I have a list of stuff to make and I can't afford to make it longer than it already is along with my WIP list) I'll figure out what to do with them. Overall, the finale is a 4 out of 10 for me. Not horrible enough for it to be the worst finale ever in the history of shows/series, but it's definitely got a lot of things that bothered me too much to genuinely enjoy it without getting stuck on something for too long. Again if you like it, good for you, but personally? It should've been much better and the series deserves a proper finale. If there's no surprise movie to make it better, then I'ma just pretend this finale doesn't exist like nah bye bitch dunno you lmao Besides with how messy this finale is, I hope you guys enjoyed reading my thoughts on it and I hope you guys have a great day

[amphtaminedreams]

Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 1/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

Oh my god. I completely forgot there was also 2 haute couture weeks. I FEEL SO OVERWHELMED. Here I was getting all geared up for the F/W 2020 shows and suddenly it’s Jean Paul Gaultier’s last show and everybody’s (predictably) buzzing about the Jacquemus collection. I can’t keep up. But Haute Couture week is a lot less intense than the RTW shows so I suppose I should be enjoying this relative peace whilst I can. 

I remember my last post about Haute Couture week opened with me defending Maria Grazia from the wrath of the internet; if Jacquemus is social media’s Lord and Saviour, this woman is the Antichrist. She’s Michael Langdon minus the dramatic flair. But the thing is, I genuinely really liked the Dior collection last time. Maybe because I was newer to the discipline of scouring Vogue Runway, but the lack of originality didn’t bother me; it was still something I’d die to wear, gothic yet delicate and relevant for 2019. 

That being said, this time round, I have to open by doing the exact opposite and concurring: this time round, Dior was in fact, utter shit.

I feel mean saying it but...really? These were the slightly more salvageable outfits and my favourite of the bunch, and to be honest they don’t really capture the full extent of how outdated this collection was to me. I know that the concept behind the show was this idea of the divine feminine but Greek Goddess has been done SO many times. If you’re gonna go down that route, you have to bring something new, elevate it in some way. It can’t be THIS generic.

I can’t believe that in 2020 we’re really seeing plaited hairbands. The individual dresses are basic, but not so much the problem as the styling; they look like outfits I would’ve put together back in 2012. That’s not an exaggeration. I think even 2013 me would appreciate that you need to make things a little twisty. 

The colour scheme is pretty, don’t get me wrong, and I like the cowl necks-the white dresses are the highlights. I think the concept of this collection was conceived with all the best intentions. But as a designer you need to take risks and I don’t see one single risk here; there isn’t anything that wouldn’t already be sold in your local H&M. Dior is such an established brand, Maria Grazia has room to do whatever she wants. And yet it just comes across like she’s out of ideas. 

You’ve got to look at a designer like Ulyana Sergeenko:

When I say elevated (but still in the vein of wearable), I mean something like this. To be completely honest, I hadn’t heard of Ulyana Sergeenko until I saw shots of this show on Twitter. But what a perfect mix of kitsch and glamour. The influences are clear: Priscilla Presley, Barbie, Jackie O, Valley of the Dolls, the rich stay-at-home wife of the 60s, the Alessandra Rich/Scream Queens-esque sorority girl, Paris fucking Hilton. It’s exaggerated and it’s tongue in cheek with total grounds to call it trashy-there’s a corset resembling a Benjamin Franklin, ffs-but it’s all done with a wink and a nudge. And in all honesty, I just think it’s beautiful. Can you imagine Frances O’Sullivan (@Beautyspock on IG) in one of these looks? It would be worthy of the Rose McGowan cultural reset meme ten times over.

Everything is feline, from the very literal cat silhouettes and cat headed boa, to the makeup and the hair clips. It reminds me of the last RTW Ralph and Russo show but with even more attention to detail. And look at the STAGE. If this collection were a song, it’d be Disco Tits by Tove Lo. And no, I’m not just saying that because one of the dresses actually does feature a (cat shaped) disco tit. Like these are the clothes I dreamed of putting my Bratz dolls, and for null I’m sure, myself in. Absolute perfection. Plus, I’ve loved Coco Rocha since she was on The Face with Naomi Campbell; she is, after all, to thank for the iconic “check your lipstick before you come for me” line. Girl is really the martyr for all purple lipstick lovers, cut down in her prime by a pissed-off Naomi. 

Onto Alexandre Vauthier, which I also really liked. An interesting yet effortless blend of the old and the new, the masculine and the feminine, if I could sum this collection up in one word, it would be cool. I know, it’s not the most descriptive, but it pretty much sums up how I feel; I’m not AS gassed about it as I am about Ulyana Sergeenko or this season’s Elie Saab (wait for it), but it’s a fresh offering, even if the styles aren’t the most groundbreaking. Stand outs for me are the almost petticoat like, debutante dresses which have Elle Fanning’s name written all over them.

I was hard pressed to find favourites in the Armani Privé collection if I’m honest. I’m not saying it was awful, all I know is that it just isn’t my style. It’s all a bit TOO tailored for my liking, and kinda reminds me of the Zara pantsuits my Spanish teacher used to wear. In other words, I find it to be a bit dowdy. On a positive note, the colours, fabrics, and beading are all stunning, so I see that a lot of craftsmanship clearly went into it; I think my biggest issue is the styling and the shapes (or lack of) on show. I’m very much getting a 20s, flapper vibe and whilst that’s an era that fascinates me and that I appreciate was cutting-edge at the time, I’ve yet to see it be bought into the 21st century in a way that doesn’t look stiff or costume-y. 

Then there’s Azzaro. At the complete opposite end of the scale to Armani, it doesn’t look expensive, which I’m sure isn’t something any designer previewing their collection at haute couture week is striving for. BUT that being said, I’d be much more likely to wear something from this collection than I would from Armani Privé. I mean, I have no shot at ever wearing either but ya get me. 

Whilst I’m sure it or something similar has been done before, the mesh diamanté dress is exquisite and I’m a huge fan of the stacked gem chokers and belts. The whole collection looks like something a London socialite who parties by night but (deep breath in) plays in a shitty band so fancies herself a bit of a rockstar by day would wear (exhale) and as much as that doesn’t sound like a compliment, I mean it as one. I’m talking about the kind of person you’d see smoking outside a bar and think “I wish I was them but I am potato lol”. I mean, as far as faux fur and fedoras are concerned, I’m gonna find it hard to completely slate a collection so this is pretty up my alley.

Chanel was a huge step up from their last RTW collection, imo, and probably on par with their last haute couture offering. It’s that same blend of preppy Chanel detailing (i.e the exaggerated collars, the checks and the lace) and practicality, only even more austere this time round.

It’s funny because when I looked back on original notes on this collection, before I’d even done any research into the context, I saw that one of the things I’d written was “giving me Victorian orphanage madame” as well as “something something Amish” and I wasn’t THAT far off base. The collection is, after all, supposed to be a tribute to the nuns who raised Coco Chanel at the beginning of the century in an Abbey-cum-orphanage. This makes me really happy; I know not everyone’s a fan of Virginie Viard’s nods back to the past and the brand’s origins but as a history nerd, I definitely am. 

There’s also definitely a lot of things that can be translated into high street trends here: the combination of decorative white socks and black shoes is something I’ve seen making a comeback already, tulle is always a winner (I actually don’t mind it as an overlay, I think it’s pretty, sue me) and I have no doubt we’ll be seeing these dramatic collars creeping back onto tops and jumpers throughout the year. It’s been a while since they were a thing anyway and we all know how cyclical fashion is.

Another high note for Elie Saab this haute couture season; if I was an expressive person, I probably would’ve audibly gasped as I looked through this collection. It is SO FUCKING MAGNIFICENT. The colour scheme, the baroque prints, the floral sequinned embroidery, these are Cinderella style ballgowns taken to the next level. Elie Saab really is the definition of opulence and I’m not at all mad about it. Please, somebody put Lana Del Rey in one of these, PLEASE. Remind her how much of a princess she is and get her out of those “soccer mom” looks.

I’m so stuck between this collection and Ulyana Sergeenko as my favourite, and the latter might just pip the other to the post, purely because of the staging and extravagance of the presentation itself. 

Georges Hobeika was predictably phenomenal. Like, I’m not going to lie, I am easily won over by some sequins and tulle, I’ve never claimed any different, and if you can expect that from anyone, it’s this guy (ignore that phrasing making me sound like his proud mother). The colour scheme is very spring appropriate and so is the 3D flower detailing, and if there’s anything good to take from Ascot and English royal weddings, Georges Hobeika knows it’s the hats.

It was another strong year for Givenchy too:

Though Claire Waight Keller is also fond of the extravagant details along the lines of feather and tulle, it’s always done in a more organic way; the details are always more reminiscent of nature, something created by accident, than they are suggestive of painstaking attention to detail, the image of someone hunched over a dress beading for hours on end à la Georges Hobeika or Elie Saab. That is not a bad thing at all; if anything, it makes Givenchy more interesting to study and gives you more to think about. Sometimes a dress takes you a bit longer to fully appreciate, but I’d say that only lends to its memorability. This year’s willowy, billowing, and at times coral-esque structures  remind me of something I can see being worn down an Iris Van Herpen runway, set apart by that delicate Givenchy finesse. And side not: I know this post is to talk about the clothes, not the models, but I got super excited over seeing Sora Choi and Adut Akech walk too. 

Guo Pei is always fun to look at. I mean, this collection is giving me half Matryoshka dolls, half It’s A Small World Christmas edition and I can’t hate on that. 

And then there’s Iris Van Herpen, who knocked it out of the park once again. At this point, I wouldn’t expect anything less. Every outfit looks like something that could be exhibited in the Tate Modern (I know, it’s a basic opinion, but it’s true: TATE MODERN IS THE BEST MUSEUM IN LONDON), or honestly, the Design Museum, just for the genius that must go into the way these dresses move. Honestly, if I can see a goddess wearing anything, it’s more one of these looks than anything in the Dior collection. Like wife of Poseidon or something; I know it’s not very feminist of me to not know the Greek Goddess of the sea’s name but I only know who Poseidon is because I was a Percy Jackson fan back in the day so let me live.

It’s not like the whole under-the-sea theme is particularly new, Zimmerman did something similar last RTW (I think? Correct me if I’m wrong), but these constructions could’ve grown out of the sea bed themselves, which is more of an original take than “oo, blue and white and frothy hemlines!”. Additionally, we’ve got these dresses with the overlapping almost plaited fabric that are-we’re sticking with the goddess references here-fit for Persephone ruling over hell. As for the Grudge-looking dress (fourth down, far left), I could be reaching, but is anyone else seeing that as a nod to the oil spills polluting our oceans? Because that would just add yet another layer to this collection. 

Regardless, it’s all impeccable and I’m in love. Iris Van Herpen as a MET Gala theme. Make it happen.

Anyway, to end on a high note, that’s it for this post! 

Sorry it’s such a sudden cut-off but Jean Paul Gaultier was due to be my second to last to review and due to it being the final show, there’s an onslaught of photos that would not fit with what’s already in this post. Plus, I’d rather start a post with Jacquemus then end it as I feel like there’s a lot of hype around his collections online right now so 1). it’s clickbait (for what, I do not know, as I’m not exactly making any money off this blog, just losing my sanity as it transpires when Tumblr accidentally terminated it earlier today and I had a minor breakdown) and 2). this Steve Buscemi meme is the most accurate representation of only 21 year old me to grace the internet:

I will aim to post part 2/2 in the next week, including JPG, as I just mentioned, the Jacquemus co-ed show, Margiela, Valentino and more, and as always, thank you for anyone who read until the end! You are an angel:-)

Lauren x

[twinkleimagines]

✨Check Please (part 2)✨

👉 Part one

Summary: you get in touch with Tom after he has tipped you 2 months worth of income after being fired from your job. You aren’t sure if he’s nice out of sympathy or if he really likes you.

⚠️⭕️ Smut and language included

It had been almost two weeks since you had gotten fired from your job. Job hunting had become incredibly hard because the end of the semester tests were coming up back to back and you really couldn’t afford to fail. Most jobs weren’t interested because you were a fully time student and your availability was really limited. You hadn’t bothered to message Tom , not because you were ungrateful for what he had done, but more so ashamed. He had given you so much money and here you are still jobless- of course any reasonable person would’ve understood why considering your circumstances but you always thought the worst unfortunately.

It was your Saturday thankfully and it was another day going job hunting . You had seen a few ads online for a near by restaurant in need of a dishwasher and the pay was decent. It wasn’t much compared to the previous job but at this point you would take anything. You sighed heavily before opening the door to the restaurant, the sound of the bell dinging above you.

“ hi welcome to the Ledbury , will it just be you dining tonight?” The hostess asked while grabbing out a menu.

“ oh no I came here for a job interview.”

“ oh okay, stay right here “ she insisted before walking towards the back of the store. You stood there patiently waiting until you heard your name being called out.

“ y/n is that you ?” You heard. Could it really be?

‘ shit’ you mumbled under your breath. This guy gives you money and you don’t even text him and now he’s here.

“ Hey stranger” he said jokingly before pulling you in for a hug. “ what have you been up to ? I never heard from you”

“ I know and I am so sorry , I’ve been job hunting and studying for school and - it’s just really been hectic” you exclaimed. You felt bad for not reaching out but you really wanted to wait until you had a job. “ so I’m here waiting to get interviewed for a dish washer position.” You beamed with sarcastic excitement.

“ dish washer?” He questioned, “ that’s horrible they don’t have anything better to offer you?” You shrugged your shoulders.

“ at this point I’ll take whatever I can get”. Tom looked at you with those same puppy eyes he once did when you had gotten fired.

“ that’s unacceptable no” he said crossing his arms.

“ you’re too good for that , I’m sure I can pull a few strings get you a decent job , something that you can do at your dorm”. Great. Another favor for you to feel bad about.

“ no Tom it’s okay” you said waving your hands in front of you. “ you’ve done enough and you don’t even know me “ . He shrugged and nodding agreeing with you.

“ I mean you’re not wrong , but that doesn’t mean I can’t help you”

“ Tom seriously it’s okay “ you exclaimed shaking your head. Tom scoffed before smiling .

“ y/n I’m not taking no for an answer” he stated . “ Now why don’t you come join me and my brother for tea. “. He suggested poingting behind him at his brother. You stood contemplating on whether or not you should take the offer. It would honestly make your life 10x easier if he really did what he said he would , but at the same time you don’t like for everything to be handed to you. After a few quiet seconds you nodded your head yes before following Tom to the table. You had gotten so wrapped up in conversating with the boys you hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten .

“ I really should get goin” you said looking out at the now black sky from the window. “ but if you’re still in town tomorrow we should definitely get together” you said standing up.

“ I’d love that Y/n “ Tom said standing up, giving you a hug.

“ oh how much do I owe” you said reaching in your purse to grab your wallet.

“ no don’t worry bout it “ Tom said placing his hands on yours. You could feel butterflies immediately start fluttering around in your stomach as his skin touched yours . You had become very fond of Tom. Over the night you had realized that he was a genuine kind guy who just wanted to do good for others. Which was shocking because a lot of people with fame and fortune like that almost always let it go to their heads and become complete dicks.

“ nice try” you smirked before tossing down some money on the table. Before they could say anything to you , you were already walking out the door.

*

As you laid in your bed in your dorm, your head couldn’t get off of Tom. He was just so special. His heart and intentions were so pure, and that smile was just perfect. You hated yourself for falling so quick. You barely knew this guy but yet he couldn’t leave your mind . You finally decided to find that receipt paper out of your purse and send Tom a message.

‘ hey are u up? It’s y/n’

‘ hey! I thought you had lost my number lol’

‘ no idk what I was thinking I’m sorry !! ‘

‘ it’s okay, I’m just glad to be hearing from you now’.

You felt those same butterflies start fluttering again . Could he really be happy to be talking to you or is he just overly nice.

‘ the feelings are mutual. I’m so glad we ran into each other . Are we still on for tomorrow ?’

‘ absolutely, just call when you’re ready and I can come get you’ he responded . The conversation quickly ended after that, you both saying your good nights.

****

“ I’ve never seen this part of town up close” you beamed to Tom as you looked at the lighten Christmas trees around the town buildings. Tom decided a walk through the park and town , would do you both justice to get to know each other .

“Really?” He asked with shock. You looked over at him nodding before looking down at your feet as you walked. Tom had done the same , sticking his hands in his pants pockets . “ it’s a lovely place honestly , it’s so relaxing and not overwhelmingly crowded” he stated. You didn’t too much care about the amount of people, you were more enjoying his company. He was so beautiful. Everything about him had you mesmerized and with him having such a kind personality made him even more charming.

“ Tom” you said stopping to turn towards him.

“Hm?” He replied , turning to look at you.

“ I don’t know how to to thank you. You’ve helped me more than anyone has since I moved here.” You stated with sincere. “ I mean Even my own parents don’t even send money. I-I mean it’s not all about the money of course but I’ve really really been struggling and I honestly have felt so alone with it all. “ you chuckled awkwardly before looking back down at your feet, to embarrassing to continue looking at Tom. “ what I’m trying to say is , I was days away from giving up on it all and then you came into my life and I just , I don’t know I feel like everything is going to be okay again” .

“Y/n” Tom said lifting your head back up by your chin. He had on the biggest grin, the sun making his brown eyes turn golden. “ everything will be okay. And i don’t want you to ever feel like I’m just helping you for attention. I have the means to help you and you just seem like such a bright woman who is probably braver than anyone I know” he stated. “ there’s no way I would move far from home on my own, knowing no one , working while going to school, I mean that’s a lot”. You laughed nodding when he said that. He had a way of making you feel better about yourself . He spoke all the positive sides of what you had been doing , when all you did was look at the negatives about it.

“ and if we’re being honest , you’ve been on my mind since the day you catered to me”. This time it was his turn to look down shyly. You furrowed your eyebrows towards him, cocking your head to the side a little in confusion. “ you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on” you couldn’t help but laugh out loud shaking your head.

“Okay Tom what kind of game is this?” You said semi jokingly . It was hard to believe what Tom was saying because you were a hot mess the day he met you. Your hair was in a sloppy bun, frizzy and tangled from lack of proper hygiene, left over make up on. There’s just no way he found that to be so beautiful.

“ I’m serious ! “ he laughed back , his smile going from ear to ear. “ I’ve just been so intrigued by you, and when you didn’t text or call those first two weeks I honestly got a little butt hurt. “ you smiled.

“ I swear I didn’t want to waste your time that’s why I did that” and you were being honest . Tom shook his head while reaching out for your hand.

“ I’ve got all the time in the world . I know that I want you to be apart of my life in some way. And if that means I’ve got to sit and help you get through this college thing then so be it”. Your heart beating started pacing , looking up at him. Before you could second think it , you quickly pressed your lips against his-a simple but perfect peck.

“ s-sorry. I don’t know why I did that it just kinda came out of no where I’m so-“ Tom interrupted you by placing his lips back against yours, this time the moment lasting longer.

****

“ is this what you wanna watch?” Tom asked flopping down on his couch next to you . It had been 3 months since your first day and you could say you both had become inseparable. Almost every day you were together . Whether he came over and helped you study or you were at his place during your free time.

Tonight was your first night staying the night and you were pretty nervous. You and Tom have had plenty of make out sessions and slight groping of private areas but it had never went past that. You were hoping for different tonight though as you were craving his touch. You had thought about it day and night here recently on what it would feel like to have him inside you .

“ it’s so romantic “ you beamed as you pressed play on ‘The notebook’. It was a romantic movie but you also wanted to set the mood in hopes of Tom wanting you in the same way you wanted him. You weren’t a virgin but it had been well over a year since you had had any sexual encounters and with the way things were moving between you and Tom , you were ready.

“ well okay Darling. “ he responded before tossing a piece of popcorn in his mouth. You laid your head partially on his lap, your legs stretched out across the couch while your hand was in Toms popcorn bag. “ now love, don’t fall asleep” he stated before moving some of your hair out of your face . How could you when all you could think about was him and his hands all over you.

“ I’m not baby” you said looking up at him. He grinned before looking back at the tv.

~~

It had come to the love seen where Noah and Allie were arguing in the rain. You knew what was up next but Tom hadn’t seen it yet to know . As the sex scene began , your heart started pounding faster, in between your legs getting warmer as you watched the scene, wishing it was you and Tom. Seconds later though you realized you weren’t the only one wishfully thinking when you felt Toms member jump against the side of your head through his gray sweat pants. You grinned but you didn’t bother moving . You had felt it tap a few times again, each time if felt harder and harder so you lifted your head up, looking down at his crotch. His dock was sitting straight up at this point , no denying what he wanted so you kissed against the tip, causing it to jump again against your mouth. Tom sighed heavily as you reached down in his joggers, grabbing ahold of him, squeezing tightly. Your pumping against him began slow before you leaned your head brown, wrapping your plump lips around the tip, your tongue running up the side of his tip. You felt his cock twitch before you went down further on him. Tom sank himself into the couch before he gently thrusted his hips into your mouth . You could hear the low moans coming from him even with there playing in back ground. At this point you were up on your knees to the side of Tom, your head bouncing up and down while you rotated your hand around his member, your back arched making your ass stick up in the air.

“ god” Tom groaned out, his pacing going a little faster . You reached down to touch yourself with your free hand but was quickly stopped by Tom grabbing it.

“ let me” he breathed out, his voice deep and groggily . You but your bottom lip before sitting up , removing your top. Toms eyes gazed over your body as you laid back on the couch flat on your back, pulling down your shorts and panties. Tom then made his way over you , kissing your lips first before making its way down by your neck . He then when to your left breast first , twirling his tongue around your nipple while his hand massaged the other breast. You moaned loudly , lifting your hips up grinding against him trying to get some sort of friction. Tom had now traveled down your stomach with kisses, his hand pressed against your pussy. You but your lip while you thrusted your hips up and down, grinding against his hands.

“ does that feel good love?” He asked as he watched you move yourself against him. You moaned in response , nodding your head while your eyes remained closed. You gasped loudly when you felt two fingers inserting you slowly. Tom wiggled them some before pumping, his other hand rubbing against your clit . You were in heaven but it still wasn’t enough. You wanted him in you.

“ fuck me Tom” you said reaching down grabbing his hand to stop. Tom sat up removing the rest of his clothing before hovering back over you.

“ you want me?” He asked, the tip of his dick right at the edge of your entrance .

“ please” you pleaded placing your hands on the back of his neck. Tom leaned down kissing you while sliding himself in you, you nothing sharing a moan when he got all the way in . He sat for just a second letting you adjust before he slowly slid back out some, leaving just the tip in. You moaned loudly as he slip himself back in, this time at a faster pace while his tongue glided over yours. Eventually Toms motions had become a steady beat, your head hitting the arm rest with each thrust. The both of you were sweating by this point , his body pressed up against yours as you lifted your leg up , allowing him in deeper.

“ roll over” Tom demanded while pulling out, sitting up off you. You quickly rolled over getting on all fours, arching your back and laying your head down on the head rest. Only seconds later you felt Tom sliding right back in to your soaking wet pussy, his thrusts getting harder than before . At this point his living room was full of moans, the tv playing in the back ground, and your skin slipping against each other as he pounded in you deep. His hands were placed firmly in the curve of your arch, pulling you back towards him everytime he thrusted in you.

You couldn’t even hold back the moans it had all set so good. His body was shimmering with the sweat all over him, veins popping out of his arms and neck and along his v line as his body tightened everytime he hit your g-spot . At this point your legs were so wobbly you laid back down on your stomach, Tom still sliding in and out of you only this time this position made you tighten around Tom.

“ oh god” he moaned out as he laid his forehead against your back , grinding deeply in you . “ you’re so fucking tight” you reached back grabbing a hold of his hair, tugging slightly as he pushed down on to it lower back , grinding deep in you. You started rotations your hips in a circular motion against him, almost sending him over the edge.

“ fuck” he moaned o loudly before pulling out. You grinned as you felt his warm cum landing on your lower back, grunts and moans coming from Tom. He sat for a second before grabbing a wash cloth from the kitchen , helping crank himself and you off. You both had gotten back dressed in silence, smiling while thinking about the time you just had .

“ that’s as.. that was perfect” Tom said running his hand through his hair grinning at you. You placed your head in your hands blushing .

“ it really was “you beamed looking up at him before kissing his lips. By this time the ending credits were rolling and you both were exhausted.

“ wanna restart?” He suggest referring to the movie.

“ I actually would like to try out your bed” you suggested laughing slightly .

“ oh love I don’t know if I’m ready for round two unless you want on top this time” he said tugging on his shirt tightly signing that he was heated up.

“ no” you laughed shaking your head . “ I mean for sleeping”

“ ohhh” he said his mouth forming in an ‘O’ shape. “ I agree” he stated before standing up, holding his hand out for you to grab . You both had gotten settled in his king sized bed, him being the big spoon of course .

“ tonight really was amazing” you said closing your eyes, pushing yourself back against him.

“ yes darling” he said before kissing your Cheek. “ goodnight love” he said before yawning .

You smiled, falling asleep in his arms.

[mc-critical]

hey, welcome back! hope your exams and stuff went well, and that you're doing fine now.

i wanted to hear your opinion on nigar hatun. i remember seeing one post of yours in which you said that she wasn't a favourite of yours like you favoured other characters and honestly, same. i didn't really much understand the fascination with her. she was an interesting character, but i can't imagine having her as a favourite when there are so many more characters who are far more interesting. i wish they gave her an alternate arc. idk what it could be, i'd like to hear your opinion on it. one alternative ending i came up for her is that she was extremely angry at ibrahim for toying with her and hatice for keeping her sweet little esmanur from her so she joins hurrem to defeat them? which hurrem did try but it didn't really go anywhere and nigar was against hurrem for killing ibrahim which just was kinda frustrating. they literally give hurrem no ally in the harem [except mihrimah later on but mihri is overall varying in terms of power] so it would be good for her to have some support in the harem from people who actually hated her enemies like her. she had actual political support from iskender celebi, rustem, and ayaz pasha and all, sure, but she didn't have much support in the harem, like all powerful women of the harem were against her. nigar obviously wasn't powerful like a sultan but she was an old member of the harem, was respected and even though she kinda lost her dignity with the scandal, she could've regained it with hurrem's help. sumbul was there later on but he was just a very faithful servant and didn't really have any real motive to harm any of hurrem's enemies except for out of his loyalty whilst nigar could've cultivated a hatred for hatice and ibrahim. this is a basic plot but i would've kinda liked seeing it. there can be many more ways her character could've ended but it would be good seeing a woman who didn't bow to her feelings all the time. the sultanas couldn't really control their feelings when it came to love because they were princesses who were used to getting what they wanted most of the time but nigar was a servant who also suffered the hardships of slavery and it obviously would've made her tougher as a person so she could control her feelings better; idk, i feel like this is an aspect of women they could've explored [or if they did explore it, i don't remember it lol my memory lapses a lot so i don't remember the show 100%] anyway, would like to hear your thoughts on nigar. thank you. welcome back again <3

Thank you! <33 Yup, I'm fine and the exams went well. Happy Pride month to you, too! 🏳️‍🌈

Hehe, I wrote that post years ago and while Nigar still isn't one of my absolute favourite characters, I've warmed up to her quite a bit. And honestly, now with the wider experience in the fandom, I can say that she isn't all that loved as it looks like. I then was under the limited wrong impression that the BG Mamma forum was a metric of all the popular opinions and yes, they loved Nigar a lot and I was sometimes confused as to why, but really, that and the Russian fanbase are the only places I have encountered that appreciate her all that much. There are characters I find more interesting than her, that's for sure, but she has her charm and I'm firmly against people reducing her to "evil" or "manipulative" or "weak after she fell in love with Ibrahim", so forth.

The thing she sets her first impression with is her intelligence caused by her relatively high experience in the harem. The advice she gave to Hürrem opened the path to her whole goal (as she herself acknowledged in E41) and that makes for quite an impact for a more recurring character. Despite of this, I never viewed early Nigar as someone taking an open side, hence I didn't find her supposed betrayal to Hürrem surprising in the slightest: she is also trying to survive in this environment in any way she knows how and she can't really find a fully comfortable position, because she is well aware that everyone is thinking for their own gain in the end. Including her. So the only choice she has left is to direct herself to where the wind is blowing and get advantages for herself once she gets the chance. Because all the experience has taught her to repress her feelings (E10 to Hürrem: "In this castle you can't show weakness."), opt to be the more level-headed person and seek for the more pragmatic solutions.

And yet she is very sensitive and perceptive to people that are different than the others or that are in need and is willing to lend them her hand. She adviced and helped Hürrem because she found potential in her, because she wanted to see her succeed, but not through endangering her own self or other people in the process (she told Hürrem that her game had gone too far again in E41), but through negotiation, compromise and adaption, to know when to start and when to stop and be respectful to those above her, no matter how hard or limiting that may look in Hürrem's eyes. Hürrem had the tendency in viewing every sign of support that came to her as granted, she still had that naive part of innocence in her in S01 and early on was in a desparate need of someone to lean on and unconditionally follow her path, that's why when Nigar diverted from that path, it hurt and took her a while to start trusting her again. But I didn't see Nigar as all that attached to Hürrem as Hürrem herself thought she was, especially with how Nigar became stuck between two sultanas later in S01 and that rendered her lost and more insecure than usual.

That's also why I don't view her as a two-faced or hypocritical double-crosser. Because for the longest time, Nigar was the one character in the series before Rüstem appeared that was clearly thinking about her own benefit and survival first and foremost from the beginning when darting between the powerful people in the harem and was the one well aware that she simply can't cling to a single side in her own position. Positions aren't permanent and can always change in such circumstances, so why can't she take advantage of this? Because who cares as much about the feelings for a Kalfa they can still order around after all? She has faced disregard from Mahidevran, Hürrem, Ibrahim and even Hatice. It is pretty understandable that she's going to seek the best opportunity for herself.

That whole facade breaks when she falls in love with Ibrahim. During rewatch, I found myself to have a soft spot for this character deconstruction, especially in S02. I know that it came to pass because of her falling in love with a man that doesn't share the same feelings and there were moments where it looked like she overdid it, even in S02, but for me, the whole thing nicely added a new layer of depth, while still feeling true to Nigar's character. Her future relationship with Ibrahim had been building up back in S01, when Ibrahim (both inadvertently and not I fully believe) played a part in helping her solve the first internal conflict she had (that is the struggle between the two sultanas). Maybe this didn't mean that much to Ibrahim, maybe he was simply trying to be helpful, but it meant a lot to Nigar - that was probably the first time someone seemed to take her feelings into account and actually listen when she couldn't help, but crack under the pressure. So it is only natural that she would search for this source of comfort once again, being ready to face every risk in the process. When she is appointed to Hatice and Ibrahim's castle, when she's practically left alone with Ibrahim, she decides to take that chance, to taste the forbidden fruit. He gave her something she never received and due to her not allowing herself to show weakness and having to cave to everyone else's demands before that, every ounce of affection Ibrahim shows her, it means the world to her. Thus she begins to idealize what she has with him, to the point of denial and delusion, and centers her loyalty completely on him. But that loyalty never seems to falter.  She began to resent and/or hate everyone who could possibly stand in Ibrahim's way, something she wouldn't have ever done before. She keeps her level-headed self and intelligence (I don't think that this plot line reduced it in any way, not even when she was at her worst.) and she's ready to take any opportunity for herself (case in point: her marriage with Rüstem.), but now her softer sides and her wish for affection are showing all the more.

The problem I have with Nigar's character, writing-wise, and now that I think about it, the main subject of why I didn't get the deal with her back then (along with considering her S01 self bland.. somehow?), is her S03B characterization. While her falling in love with Ibrahim plot-line became an important part of S02 Nigar's storyline, I don't think it overshadowed or dominated over her other characteristics, making for a neat balance of traits and an interesting, nuanced character. In an attempt to keep her for longest time possible in the story, S03B flanderized her in every possible way and overexaggerated her biggest strengths and flaws until they became stale and unbelievable. Her love for Ibrahim read as а near obsession narratively and her opportunism coupled with her will for revenge, which put her into many repetitive intrigues. At one point I even felt she was reduced to a plot-device (the moment Şah Sultan appointed her as a spy) and she felt a little too purposeless and to have totally outstayed her welcome until her last moment in the series.

The root of this problem is again, that they just didn't know when to stop with Nigar. To be brutally honest, she had no long-term role left to play after Ibrahim's death and it was time for the writers to let her go and maintain her generally strong characterization. The ending I would've chosen for her is to simply have Matrakcı give her Esmanur's location and for her to live with her daughter in piece. I know that because of the tonal shift, the show seemed to be already inclined that everyone had to have a tragic ending of sorts, to underline the growing ruthlessness and cruelty of the themes, but I fully believe that Nigar was one of the only characters that were terribly forced through their tragic endings. She didn't need, nor deserve a tragic ending and I doubt it would've been such a problem for the half-season if she didn't get one. I find a happier ending to be perfectly fine for Nigar and I would've loved to see it, if only for a freshness in ideas for character endings. I loved her Esmanur storyline and to witness her finding happiness with her, the only solace she had left, would have been a great wrap up of her S03 plots and an amazing send-off to Nigar's character.

I appreciate the thought you have put into your ending for her and to be fair, your proposal would be much better than anything S03B gave us. It would nearly correspond with the revenge plot of hers they were going for and it would be something more original at the same time. Hürrem's principal lack of allies doesn't bother me as a fact alone, because all her enemies have understandable reasons to be against her, but what bothers me however, is when the writers try using it to dumb her enemies down and make them doom themselves through their own failings or outright use it to put forced (often soapy) conflicts to make the audience sympathize with Hürrem. Or to make everyone "mistitle" her (is that a word? probably not.) or disrespect her on purpose again for sympathy points (that go beyond the part of her motivation that wants to feel respected and does stuff out of fear not to fall under a less favorable position once again.), without changing the status-quo until say, S04.

It is so deliberate it becomes annoying and seeing something else for a change... honestly, gimme! While I personally prefer a happy ending for Nigar, I would live for Nigar and Hürrem to work together again, while keeping what's become her central motivation intact. It may seem a little OOC for Nigar to work for Hürrem by that point, because she's channeled her loss of the most precious people into rage on those that have taken them away, but it would be a decent shifting of gears and a reverence to her opportunism to work to eradicate those she hates for good, even if it means doing so with one of your bigger enemies. After all, after the mission is fulfilled, she could still work against Hürrem in some way, right?

[Tell me if I got what you meant wrongly, but there is an example of a dynasty sultana putting her love feelings behind and by that I mean Şah Sultan. Her love is in the past by the point she arrived in the castle and her love for Ibrahim is only used as a conflict between her and Hatice, which they get over relatively quick. Sisterly love and ambition are a much bigger priority of Şah's: she cared about Hatice past any resentment she may have harbored over the years and agreed to share her life with Lütfi for the advantage this may bring, even though she didn't love him at all. She divorced him only when he offended the pride of a woman and her own personal pride. Other than that, we indeed didn't have a female character in MC that puts her feelings behind in design as far as I recall, only ones that end up clinging to them completely like Nigar here or ones that let go of them eventually like Mahidevran. Characters that have this design by default are more present in MCK like Safiye, or Turhan, or especially Gülbahar, but as I've said many times, MCK is more ruthless, while MC is more about the personal feelings of the characters, hence every motivation they have is somehow tied to them.]

[nekokoaa]

Soft (Part 2 to Stare) - Bakugo x Reader

Soft

Character: Bakugo Katsuki

Word Count: 8K

This took me a while to write and I don’t know why lol this was for celebrating reaching 1700 followers but now we’re at 2500 FOLLOWERS (!!!), so I present to you guys part two to Stare. Stare is one of my proudest works and also is my most popular. I’m not expecting Soft to live up to the same popularity as Stare but I had a lot of fun writing this and that’s all that matters! XD

For Soft, this is Bakugo’s first date, first crush and I really wanted to show the inner turmoil within him. It’s not as simple for him to accept that he has a crush (he can’t even fully believe that you like him lol), he finds it distracting and unnecessary, but he can’t help how he feels. It’s going to feel like he’s going back and forth. One minute he likes you, the next he’s distant and it’s all necessary for him to grow. This is just a little incite of what I was thinking as I was writing this.

Thank you guys so much for this! I love all of you guys!!!

Please read Stare first before reading this!! >>>>>>Stare<<<<<<

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You, with the voice of an angel, the beauty of the stars, and a smile like the sun. It was as if you were Aphrodite herself. It left him obsessed and wanting more.

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Bakugo woke up that morning with the sun in his face and his mother’s deafening voice piercing the walls of his room. She was screaming something about breakfast but as usual, everything was muffled when his mind was full of you.

He thought of the events of yesterday as if it were a dream. Your forever bright smile that actually shined on him, your cheeks a soft red hue when you asked him out, and your dainty wrist in his large hand felt as soft as the cushions on his bed that propped his head up as he stared at his white ceiling above his head. Rays of light were piercing through the thin curtains of his window. Like freckles, spots of light glowed upon his cheeks and if it wasn’t for his date today, he would’ve remained in bed and soaked up all the warmth the sun had to offer. Sometimes he wondered if this was how you would feel if you were next to him.

With the sun upon his skin, he could almost imagine you beside him, glowing in presence and sparkling like a soaring comet. You tore through the darkest blankets of his skies, igniting it with a warmth he never thought he would ever feel before. And then you would stroke his arm, sending a wave of excitement to his nerves, your mouth would slowly widen into a smile and it was like he was watching the sun peek from the horizon to welcome a new day. It would look as if you were laughing for no apparent reason and your legs would begin to tangle with his just as Bakugo’s stomach would flip. You would look glorious in the light like you were in your natural element, the way how your skin shimmered with the sun left Bakugo speechless. All he wanted to do was just trap you within his arms and never let you go.

“Katsuki!” And in an instant, you were gone from his mind. You disappeared from his side and what was left was sparkles parading upon his bed as a figment of his imagination. His mother’s voice sounded once again, threatening to come up to his room and pull him out of bed. Bakugo could tell his mother was standing on the foot of the staircase because of how loud she sounded, she probably had with one slipper on the first step and a spatula in her hand, waving frantically in the air. Her eyes were probably sharp through blond furrowed brows, so pointy that anyone who meet her gaze would instantly combust into cuts.

“Alright! Alright!” Bakugo yelled back before sucking his teeth. He had to get up anyway. If he remembered correctly, he was picking you up at twelve. So, he had about two hours to get ready.

…

Before his mother could physically drag him to the table for breakfast, Bakugo was able to finish his morning duties and also get dressed for his date. When he stepped into his dining room, a neatly traditional Japanese breakfast was upon it. And he was glad to see one of his favorites, Tamagoyaki, as a part of the dishes. He liked them spicy, as strange as that was. But not only did he step into today’s breakfast, but also the bewildered stares of his parents. Their widened eyes followed their son until he entered the kitchen and returned on him when he emerged with a carton of orange juice. They weren’t particularly looking at his face but rather his clothes that seemed all too new and never before worn. Bakugo had dug into the deepest part of his closet for them. Black and orange were Bakugo’s favorite colors and his clothes consisted of them although it was mostly black. He was sporting a black shirt with a graphic symbol of a skull spewing fire out of its eyes and mouth. Straight cut black pants that hugged his legs and hips, giving the illusion that his legs were long, and his bomber jacket was black with orange stripes running down his shoulders and arms.

Clearly, Bakugo’s parents never seen their son dress so well on a Saturday morning even if he was going to hang out with Kirishima.

“A-Are you going out today, Katsuki?” His father, Masaru, was the first to ask when Bakugo sat at the table. He grabbed his chopsticks, contemplating on whether to answer his father’s question truthfully or not. He hadn’t mention to his parents about his date today or about you. And he wasn’t sure if he wanted to let them know.

“Yeah I am,” he grumbled, sticking a piece of tamagoyaki in his mouth.

“With Kirishima?” His mother, Mitsuki, decided to dig more information out of her son. She placed a cup of coffee down for her husband before sitting and he quietly thanked her and hummed softly when he took a sip. Bakugo lifted his eyes from his plate to look at his mother who stared at him and eagerly waited for his answer.

“Nah,” he hoped they would leave it at that, but he knew his mother liked to pry herself in his business.

“Oh, then who?” She had a small smile on her face when she ate a piece of tamagoyaki. She also liked them spicy. Masaru avoided them.

Bakugo groaned and he let out a heavy sigh that seemed to knock Mitsuki’s smile right out of her face. Before she had a chance to open her mouth and complain about his attitude, Bakugo answered quickly.

“It’s ____. I’m going out with ____.”

His parents seemed to freeze as soon as your name left their son’s lips. They looked to one another and then back at him, their eyes as wide as it could be with their mouths slightly apart. Mitsuki’s surprised expression soon turned into one of anger and she abruptly stood up, reached over the table and pulled his cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a date today!? Look how dirty your face is! Do you want her to run away?!”

“W-What is wrong with you, ya old hag!?”

“Don’t speak to me that way!”

“G-Guys…” stammered Masaru, but the two carried on with their shouting match.

“Did you take a shower?! Brush your teeth?!”

“Course, I did!”

…

“Hey brat,” Bakugo finished tying his laces to his sneakers when Mitsuki approached him at the front door. She was calmer than just a few moments ago. In fact, she looked quite serious. Bakugo didn’t really think much of it. He stood up from the ground and buried his hands within his pockets, his body, hunched, and slightly facing away from her because he expected to hear a lecture from her mouth. But instead, she thrusted two small pieces of paper, tickets, into his chest that he caught before they fell to the floor.

“Here, if she likes you even more after today then take her to this,” Bakugo glanced at the tickets, and he made a small grunt before he stuffed them in his pockets.

“Sure,” he muttered and was about to leave before Mitsuki stopped him by the shoulder. She looked into his eyes that were identical to hers and a soft, yet confident smile came to her.

“Show her a good time, Katsuki,” she said, and they shared a moment of silence, looking at one another from mother to son. Bakugo nodded and he left his house and turned the corner on route to your house.

…

Every step closer to your house had the butterflies fluttering wildly within his stomach and chest. His hands became clammy while they were stuffed within his jacket’s pockets and he started to fiddle with the tickets that sat within them. He wasn’t sure what to expect from this date. Hell, he was even shocked that you agreed to it. All this time he thought that you were afraid of him, but your distance really meant that you shared the same feelings as him. Bakugo couldn’t believe it.

Even as he approached your doorstep with potential words and different scenarios flooding his mind, he still felt as if he were in a dream, lightheaded, while walking through a set of clouds. Is this really how it felt when you like someone? Like the urge to see them again as soon as you seperate seized every sensible piece of your rationality? Or the image of your beloved would play within your mind like a song upon repeat, the melody of their laugh would crescendo into the most beautiful of smiles.

Bakugo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. With that same hand, he rang your doorbell, fidgeting slightly as he waited for someone, hopefully you, to come to the door. It was about a few seconds until finally the door opened and you peeked your head from behind it.

“H-Hi, Bakugo,” you greeted him with a nervous smile and fully stepped out from behind the door. Bakugo blinked once he saw what you were wearing, his jaw slightly dropped as he scanned you over. He looked over you only once—no twice—fuck—a third time. Shit, you were beautiful. “You’re here.”

He froze in place at the sight of you. Your clothes were simple, yet it accentuated your shape. How could you look so gorgeous with a pair of jean shorts and a white buttoned top with lace as its short sleeves. You were a pure angel, a complete contrast to his devilish appearance and here he was, already tainting you by being in your presence. Were you wearing make up? It was light. Bakugo could tell your blemishes had vanished and your lips were a nude to your skin tone. He was fine with or without, it made no difference to your beauty to him.

“Hey,” was all he managed to say in his stupor. Your smile widened, and you called something out within your house before you locked your door.

…

The walk to the arcade was a silent one. Bakugo didn’t have the courage to talk. He wasn’t the most talkative person, he only spoke when it was important and when he did, it was usually at the top of his lungs. But being on this date, he had no reason to raise the volume and he also didn’t know as much about you other than the small habits you tend to do. Because of this, he came to question his reason for liking you. He questioned if it was his teenage urges acting as a dictator to his rationality. Maybe it truly was because he was attractive to your looks.

He glanced at you and he caught you staring at him. You jumped when your eyes met and looked away, a blush blossoming on your cheeks like you were caught doing something shameful. Bakugo found himself doing the same thing as he didn’t expect your eyes would be on him. ‘This is stupid!’ He shouted in his head. A simple stare had reduced him to a coward—a puddle on the side of the road for no one to step in but you. He couldn’t believe how much he was wrapped around your finger, if only you had known, you would’ve used it to your advantage if you had the courage.

Warmed cheeks and sealed lips carried on until you had reached the arcade. The arcade was bustling with teenagers and children with their parents which made sense for a Saturday. Bakugo was buying some tokens at the counter after he aggressively denied your request to pay your share. After all, what kind of a man would he be if he let you pay on the first date? So, you were standing awkwardly to the side, surveying the games while you waited for Bakugo to return. And when he did, he had golden coins in his hand, and a small smirk was on his face when he gestured towards multiple arcade machines with his free hand.

“Alright. Pick which one you want to lose in first,” Bakugo wished he could’ve recorded your face when he said that. You looked so offended that he barked out a laugh after.

“Or how about I give you the honors since you’re so confident?” You raised an eyebrow, a frown on your beautiful lips.

His smirk grew wider. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna make you cry on the first—”

“Just pick!” You pushed him ahead of you and you followed him through the crowds until he stopped in front of an arcade machine. It was on top of a small platform and in front of two screens were two suspended guns. The banner hanging above the machine was the title. Call of Duty, it read. There were already some children playing on it, the guns snuggled to their chests and fingers wrapped around the trigger. They shot at animated Zombies that threw themselves at the screen with their busted mouths bubbling with blood and mucus. The counter on the corner of the screen was skyrocketing into the thousands the more they took down.

“Ever played this?” Bakugo spoke like he was taunting you and turned to face you.

“Of course,” you simply said and folded your arms across your chest and glared at him. You were hoping he wasn’t bringing you to the ‘manliest’ game in the arcade believing you didn’t know how to play because of your gender. You wanted to destroy the confidence in his eyes.

“Ready to lose?” He teased and stepped up on the platform once the children were done. They stuck around to watch with a glimmer of excitement in their eyes. You followed after Bakugo, holding your glare, and taking his hand when he held it out to help you up. You would’ve thanked him if you weren’t too busy mentally preparing to beat his ass.

“What level?”

“Medium. I’ll give you a handicap.”

“Don’t even,” there was a scroll trigger on the gun and you quickly pressed ‘Hard difficulty’. It made him chuckle after he shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the iron rails behind him. He grabbed his gun and went into a stance. His back was slightly hunched with the gun clutched to his body while he pointed it at the screen. Your eyes wandered to his arms. So toned, they were, as he was mindlessly flexing them. Your face grew hot and suddenly started to feel very bashful. You looked away, and when you did, started to notice that the game already began. The score on Bakugo’s screen was climbing and you panicked. You quickly pulled the trigger against the zombies that were coming at you. 500 points for body shots. 2000 points for headshots. You were aiming for headshots.

It was quiet between you two with only the thunderous sounds of rapid fire and the gaggled groans of fallen dead. The rest of the arcade sounds were reduced to background noise. Even the children who watched on with random shouts of excitement at the scores and making funny movements (that only seemed to possess children) were cast away in that same category. Nothing existed except you, Bakugo, and a crowd of zombies.

It was almost as if you assimilated into the game and was one with their universe. You defended the town from them like it was your destiny, like it was what you trained for and you felt the phantom pain on the side of your neck whenever a zombie would slip through and take a bite out of you. Your HP would drop but it didn’t stop you from shooting. You could feel yourself start to shake, your palms grew sweaty, and you started to hyperventilate until you caught yourself from becoming too absorbed in the virtual world. It was honestly the most exhilarating thing you had experienced.

By the time the game ended, you grinned at Bakugo with your hand on your hip and your gun holster up against your shoulder. He looked at you with eyes as wide as it could be and his mouth so open it would’ve fell upon the floor. The children’s faces mirrored his in disbelief at your score. 51,500 points for you and 18,500 points for Bakugo.

You: 1

Bakugo: 0

…

Bakugo couldn’t believe you beat him at Call of Duty. He used to play Zombies with Kirishima and the boys at home and he would always be the last person standing to finish up the round. His boys cheered for him for saving the round every time and he would feel so proud of himself for doing so. He was confident in his skills, which made him confident in beating you. But he was clearly outmatched and when he questioned your skills, you smiled and said that this was your go-to game in arcades. He set himself up for failure right from the start.

“Alright! You’re good, I’ll give you that,” he grumbled those last words. “But the next one is mine!”

“Sure, and since you lost, I’ll give you the honors to pick again,” you stressed out the word ‘lost’ and it made Bakugo grimace. You laughed, and that grimace quickly turned into his stomach doing flips. You had him on an invisible leash that you didn’t know about. His body already conditioned to react to anything he found cute or beautiful about you. It was ridiculous, he thought.

“Whatever,” Bakugo dug his hands in his pockets. He didn’t mean to make himself sound like a sore loser and he didn’t like the frown that appeared on your face after. But he was tied between the feeling of accepting defeat and accepting his feelings for you. It was scary having a crush. He could feel himself changing and doing things he wouldn’t normally do. Instead of having fun at the arcade, he could’ve been training his body or quirk. He didn’t have time to waste if he wanted to be number one hero and that meant these feelings for you had to go. All Might didn’t get to where he was by being focused on girls.

“Bakugo,” he felt a gentle touch on his arm and it pulled him away from his thoughts. He glanced at you and you were looking at him. It was the second time he seen you so worried, the last time was after karaoke and he had yet to find out what made you worried. Was it him? You were a normally happy person, like an airhead almost. You tried to look at things on the bright side even in the darkest of situations. It was similar to Deku who always annoyed Bakugo with his optimism but when it came to you, he didn’t seem to mind. “I didn’t mean to tease you like that. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t deserve your apology. You weren’t to blame, yet he pulled his arm out of your grip and the small gasp that sounded from you pained his heart. “I found the next game,” Bakugo stated without looking at you and walked ahead. You lingered in the same spot for a moment before you quickly joined him.

…

The next game Bakugo picked was Basketball hoops which you were a little surprised about. There were two baskets and it was being separated by a tall metal gate that also caged around it to prevent the balls from flying out. Bakugo stood in front of it and pulled a miniature basketball out of the pile. He was already adding the tokens in before he turned towards you.

“Ever played this one?” He threw the basketball towards you and it nearly slipped from your hands when you caught it.

“Not exactly,” you smiled nervously.

“It’s simple. You just throw the ball into the hoop and you gain points. Person with the most points at the end wins.”

“Sounds simple.” You snorted, words melting in sarcasm as you watched Bakugo spin the ball with the tips of his fingers before trapping it within them once again. He was oddly an expert at it, but you decided not to ask about his experience. The game counted down from ten and Bakugo positioned the ball slightly over his head with his elbows tucked in. You tried to mimic Bakugo’s stance as not to reveal that you had no idea what you were doing. A short beep sounded the start of the game and Bakugo rolled his hand the ball was tucked in and it shot into the air in a perfect arch before it swished into the basket. It bumped against the gate before falling back within the pile of its brothers. And soon you continuously heard the sound of swooshing as he consecutively made the shot every time.

You panicked once again. This time with no confidence that you could catch up to Bakugo’s points. You shot the ball towards the basket, inelegantly when compared to Bakugo’s form. Your elbow was out, and you thrusted your entire arm forward rather than shooting with your wrist. The ball slammed against the gate, making it jingle as it fell straight into the pile. You didn’t have time to think about your form. You started flinging balls in the air and prayed that one of them make it. Instead, they bounced against the iron rim with knotted rope. Some were fortunate not to suffer the blow of the iron rim and just fell directly back into their pile. The less unfortunate ones bounced back in retaliation towards your head, missing you completely and left to stray the arcade floors alone.

Bakugo’s points were climbing. It was unreachable now, so you abandoned the goal of winning to ending the game with at least a point. The swift swooshes of the basket whipped through the air and it was attracting a small crowd of children and curious adults around Bakugo. It was almost inhuman how he was scoring, and he had yet to miss.

“Amazing!” You heard a girl behind you say and you were damn well sure it wasn’t towards you.

It wasn’t that you gave up, but you kept the basketball in your hands and looked to your left at Bakugo. Your eyes had fallen on his face, his eyes and lips relaxed, almost serene-like. You wouldn’t say he looked one in his element, but he was definitely comfortable with what he was doing.

The beeps that signified the end of the game sounded from the machines and Bakugo’s score was a whopping 500 points, 10 points for every basket made. Your score was a disgrace. You didn’t even count it as a score because you didn’t make any. You weren’t on the board as embarrassing as you had to admit, but basketball just wasn’t your best sport.

“Where’d you learn how to do that?” You felt the need to ask, not in disbelief of his skills but in curiosity.

“I have a hoop in my room,” he replied. He didn’t want to let you know that he uses it when he needed to calm down. Usually after an argument with his mother, he would fling balls relentlessly at his hoop in frustration. His father had gifted it to him when he found out about his habit of blowing up small holes in the walls of his bedroom when he was heated. It helped significantly to control his anger and he even found himself shooting hoops whenever he was bored.

“Would you—Idon’tknow—maybe, teach me next time? Maybe?” Next time? What made you so confident that there was going to be a next time? In fact, you weren’t. You were testing out the waters, shooting hints at Bakugo to see if he was even interested in another date after today or even if he just wanted to hang out. You closed into yourself when you asked, your posture curved forward as if to hide yourself from him. You bit the bottom of your lip and couldn’t stop your cheeks from warming up. You were trying to be as bold as you could, as confident as you imagined yourself to be when you fantasize about this date last night. It was easier to dream that you were a confident, strong girl who knew what she wanted in this world and faced issues head on and didn’t get flustered by the mysterious feelings of a crush. But you knew the world in your head was a vast utopia, a world filled with desires that didn’t seem tangible in reality. Still, you urged yourself to try, because trying was a step closer to tangibility.

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

You: 1

Bakugo: 1

…

Bakugo wasn’t prepared for your question. He was still deciding whether to give in to his emotions or not and that sheepish expression on your face didn’t make it any easier. He was convinced it coerced him into responding in agreement to another date. He didn’t have the heart to deny that face or perhaps his heart didn’t want to.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets in habit, looking away when he did, his voice was so small that he nearly couldn’t hear it over the sounds of the blaring game machines in the vicinity. At first glance, anyone would believe he was upset but if they peered into his face, they would spot the flushed skin of his cheeks and nose and possibly his ears. He was hiding his feelings within, though, even if he was lying to himself, his body revealed all truths.

…

The last game would decide it all and you were ready. Because you gave Bakugo the right to pick twice, it was up to you to pick the final game. You guided Bakugo to the corner of the arcade, it was away from the valley of machines but not too far where you couldn’t hear them. The games at this corner were more traditional; darts, board games, air hockey, any game that didn’t need to be attached to a machine to work was there, including table tennis which was where you were pulling him towards. You wouldn’t say you were an expert at table tennis, but it was a sport you were decent in. Bakugo already had good hand-to-eye coordination so you knew this choice would make it a fair final game.

“Final game. You sure about this?” It was like the mellow Bakugo had retreated, and the bold and brash one came loose. The grin returned as it split across his face in a crooked slant from cheek to cheek. He looked the best when he was smirking, his eyes narrowed slightly with a glint of mischief—almost like it was melting with sin.

“Wouldn’t you want to end this with something fun?” You returned his smile with a question, but it looked more innocent than his. You were starting to notice the vast differences between you and Bakugo, not only in style but even in personality. It was odd that you two were attracted to each other. You didn’t believe in the saying, ‘opposites attract’, but you had to admit there was some truth behind it.

“Look, I just hope you’re ready to sing for me again.”

Again? “I’m surprised you haven’t learned from last time about being too cocky.”

“Only thing I learned is to not go easy on you.”

Your eyes rolled. “Oh please, do not pull that crap on me now. I won fair and square. And what do you mean ‘Again’? What made you think I was singing for you the first time?”

You had expected to hear another one of Bakugo’s boastful remarks, but you were delighted by his smile instead. It was far from a soft one and was closely associated with the last one that held mischief. It was a smile that knew the ups and downs and ins and outs of your mind without barely even knowing you. How was that possible? You didn’t know. But you did know Bakugo had a very perceptive character even if his brass personality didn’t make him seem so.

If only you also knew he was bluffing, then you wouldn’t have blushed the way you did, confirming his suspicions about how you acted during karaoke. It was nice for him to know that those stolen glances at him weren’t all for show.

…

You didn’t realize how intense table tennis was. You knew where it derived from held some tension during its matches. Watching the US Opens, French Opens, and other major tennis tournaments with your family often had you near the edge of your seat. You would see the crowds snapping their heads from right to left at the speed of the ball before erupting into cheers once the ball fell out. Your father would jump out of his seat, a fist wringing in the air, as a point was added to the score of his favorite player and the umpire would call to settle down the crowd, but the excitement erupted to where silence couldn’t be an option. But soon, the crowd knew the match wouldn’t continue unless they settled, and they hushed each other until all that sounded was the ball bouncing to and from the green synthetic surface and into the player’s hand. This memory, you recalled, was like you were reliving it except you and Bakugo were the players with the onlookers being the patrons of the arcade.

The sound around you were muffled against your eardrums, nothing but the base of your heart resounding in rhythmic beats and the tennis ball slamming against your paddle, releasing a loud ‘pock!’ before bouncing back onto the table court and into Bakugo’s side. He moved like lightning, the arm of his muscles tensing at the exact moment the ball touched his paddle. A grunt had left him as he returned the ball onto your side and a thunderous sound erupted from the impact. You returned it just as swiftly.

It was match point for Bakugo and you could tell he was swinging harder, faster. He wanted to end this game as desperate as you wanted it to continue.

“Shit!” He hissed when you returned the ball and it hit the table in an odd angle but managed to fly past his paddle. You evened out the score and it was your turn to serve. Two more scores and you would be the winner, but you knew Bakugo wasn’t going to make it easy for you.

The first ball you served hit the table and managed to slip past him. Or was he?

Bakugo chuckled darkly, one that rattled your core when it reached your ears. You allowed it to frazzle you and your next serve was easily deflected and the ball zoomed past you, evening the score yet again.

“I’m not going down that fucking easy,” he declared, and you wordlessly picked up another ball to serve.

The score went from even to either you or Bakugo having the advantage to even again. It continued for as many times until you had lost count. The tension grew to unbearable heights, the patrons were ‘ooo-ing’ and ‘ahh-ing’, some urging for your win and others for Bakugo’s, but you didn’t let their cheers distract you and neither did he. A faint sweetness lingered in the vicinity and it could only be coming from the sweat that shined Bakugo’s skin. An aroma that reminded you of being in the training room and whenever it was Bakugo’s turn to spar, your nose would be blessed by that scent while the others, specifically the boys would secretly tease him for it, too afraid to openly do it unless they wanted to face his wrath.

The ball flew from your side to Bakugo’s side repeatedly and it was about a minute until the ball zipped past you and Bakugo yelled in victory as well as his fans.

“One more fucking point!” He roared and raised his racket in the air, confidence spewing from his body language like he already won. All you did was glare at him, ignoring the reassurance from your encouragers but you didn’t understand why they treated you like you lost when clearly the game was still on. They were underestimating you, them and Bakugo, and you knew you had to prove them wrong. You tightened the ball in your hands and licked the sweat off your lips. Bakugo had a terrifying smirk on his face when he went into his stance, gripping his racket until the veins in his arms started pulsating.

You served the ball and hit it with all your might.

…

Bakugo had been wondering what brought him back to sitting on the couches in one of the karaoke venues again. A much smaller room than the one he was in on that day he went with the class, it still held in resemblance, though, the atmosphere of it was nearly suffocating. He was without his boys, without a distraction from you, the beautiful girl who was scrolling through the list of songs with a remote, humming softly when lingered on a title before continuing on. Another glance around the room had him questioning his reason for being here. Hadn’t he lost? Clearly, you weren’t going to reward him for losing, right? Although, he had paid for a 30-minute rental for a venue, so he suppose that was his punishment. It nearly put a dent in his wallet.

“So, you’re gonna sing for me anyway.” Whether it was a question or a statement, you still flashed a smile at him when you stopped at the title you were searching for. It was startling how just a simple curve of your lips could make his heart stop, his breath hitch, and make him all want to drop what he was doing just to feel them slobbering over his. He was a fool, a fool desperately yearning for the girl sitting right beside him, your leg barely brushing his and sending his mind in a flurry of emotions.

Fuck. Get a hold of yourself. He rehashed in his head repeatedly. It didn’t help that the only other presence in the room was you.

“No,” you drawled, reaching to swipe two microphones from the table in front of you. “I want you to sing with me.”

“Hell no,” he abruptly said, pushing the microphone away when you pressed it against his lap. “I don’t fucking sing.”

“A bet is a bet,” you reminded him, and he let out a groan, “besides you’re not really singing. You’re, like, slow rapping.”

“Are you stupid? And what the fuck is slow rapping anyway?”

“I don’t know I made it up. It’s like rapping but it’s slow!” You giggled, and like a reflex, his stomach flipped. You still tossed the microphone at him and as reluctant as he was, he followed you when you pulled him by the arm to stand up, not allowing himself to be drag because he held too much pride within himself to be dragged by the likes of anyone. You had missed his grumble when he confirmed your stupidity, and when you had questioned him with a hum, he remained silent, gripping the microphone in hand to relay his frustrations upon it.

He found himself standing in the middle of the room facing the tv while you were in front of him, gleaming up at him with a smile as the television’s light splashed against your back. Once again, you didn’t seem to need the lyrics because when you started the song, you remained facing him, tossing the remote where you were sitting and bringing the microphone close to your lips. He felt jealousy creeping behind his shoulder at the inanimate object (that held no soul) that had the privilege of touching what he desired. He wondered adamantly how foolish his feelings were going to make him?

The song had started with the melody of a distorted accordion mixed with electronic sound effects that these popular pop music writers loved to add in their tracks. Bakugo was a stranger to this kind of music as his go-to-genre was rock, metal, and sometimes even rap so when you were swaying side to side at the peppy beat that swirled itself into the existing melody, he could only watch as he waited for your voice.

“I'm a motherfuckin' train wreck. I don't wanna be too much,” and there it was, hitting him like a smooth wave slamming into the rocky side of a mountain, carrying his previous frustration into the endless ocean to never resurface again. Once your voice had reached his eardrums, it had placed him under your spell, one he wished would never break as chills walked his skin like they scavenged for mysteries of their birth. Velvet melted from your mouth, sweetness formed into honey and kissed your voice box, blessing it with the gift to open heaven’s gate with a single note.

“But I don't wanna miss your touch. And you don't seem to give a fuck,” his lips had adversely failed him when he fought to keep them from upturning into a smirk, more specifically at the arousing feeling of you cursing. The chills continued to pry around his back and shoulders and the upper part of his arm where you had gently caressed him for a moment, eyes moving to hold his benevolent stare that he blissfully wasn’t aware he was making.

When the beat of the song picked up and greeted the chorus, you had pulled away from him, turning around until your back faced him, your eyes still on him with your head turned to look behind you, a playful smile curling on your lips. Without doubt, a fire was lit from within him.

“You ain't my boyfriend. And I ain't your girlfriend. But you don't want me to see nobody else. And I don't want you to see nobody,” you bounced your body with the beat, the voice of the original singer echoing the last words of the lyrics or otherwise singing with you. You meant to stroll back to Bakugo once you turned around, but he already closed the distance between you two, eyes somewhat wide and searching within yours for any meaning between those lyrics to be true. “But you ain't my boyfriend. And I ain't your girlfriend. But you don't want me to touch nobody else. Baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody…”

The search for the truth in your eyes nearly made Bakugo miss his line. He started out shaky, startled at how fast it came when the screen prompted for the second singer to start. It oddly reminded him of Deku when he pitifully struggled to sing with Uraraka, so he quickly found his rhythm to avoid the same embarrassment, his singing, that was mostly him talking but elongating his words, sonorous in pitch yet rough at the edges.

“I…I promise the way we fight make me honestly feel like we just in lo—the fuck are these lyrics?” He abruptly growled, his voice caught between ire and mortification when he read the sappy lines that made you blush. You squeezed his arm to urge him to continue, already missing a few lines with how fast the song was going. It wasn’t like he had a choice, he sucked his teeth before bitterly singing through gritted teeth. “I lose my mind when it comes to you. I take time with the ones I choose. And I don't want to smile if it ain't from you, yeah.”

Your voice returned for the chorus soon after his part was done, and he never felt so relieved to hear your voice. He didn’t have a clue how you were so comfortable singing, yet it was hard for you to speak in class whenever you were answering a question. You were bold, daring, confidence spelled within your eyes and shyness was nothing more than a distant relative. You let the music guide you, boldness encouraging you to guide Bakugo’s unoccupied hand to your waist as you danced, his touch barely even felt through your clothes as fear had struck him. Even with consent, he questioned within himself if this was okay. Though, the ghostly feel of the arch of your waist to your hips under his palm had abolished all uncertainty. He was a teenage boy, after all.

He was careful not to move his hand anywhere you didn’t place it but even that was hard whenever you would move your body to the song, sometimes his hand would fall lower towards your hip and he would quickly return it to your waist, so he wouldn’t lose the privilege of touching you.

But when you moved closer to his body until your shirts were caressing, your bright eyes inhabited a world in which he wanted to be a part of, his fingers curled slightly into the newly founded lace sewed into the sides of your shirt, a detail he missed earlier when he was stunned by your beauty. His grip on his microphone went loose against his fingertips and threaten to fall, his face was so close to yours and if it weren’t for the microphone against your lips, Bakugo would’ve closed the gap between you urged by the yearn he felt to touch them.

The two of you were now sharing one microphone, eyes locked onto each other’s, unwavering as they embodied the passion of want.

“If you were my boyfriend…” You sang softly, your vocals sweet and heavy.

“And you were my girlfriend…” Bakugo spoke, his voice harboring that same softness of yours which was foreign to him. He was no longer able to sing, and the song carried on with no vocals as you too were rendered speechless by how thick with warmth his words sounded. There was no indication that the two of you were going to continue the song nor did you encourage him to. The melody was left as background noise as you became trapped in Bakugo’s gaze. How they fidgeted about on your face, taking in your irises, the shape of your nose, the blemishes upon your cheeks and your forehead, the shape of your cheekbones, your chin, and lastly your lips. Gradually, they were moving closer to Bakugo’s just as the microphone was slipping away from between.

If only it wasn’t for the raging scream of Bakugo’s phone trapped within the constraints of his jacket’s pocket, he would’ve already felt the soft press of your lips against his. He had never turned so fast, so dramatically before in his life. He was already digging through his pocket, fingers already mindlessly tapping at the screen once he pulled his phone out and you swore his hands were going to ignite into an explosive if it weren’t translated into the roar that came out of his mouth.

“What!” The person on the other end was no other than his mother who was informing him about coming home at a respectable time. The rage he used to answer his phone was hammered back at him with that same force. You could hear his mother’s screech that certainly reminded you of Bakugo’s, just more feminine.

The heated moment between you two ended with Bakugo screaming into his phone with a colorful combination of profanities you have never even thought of and you were surprised that his mother was worse in her usage of language, even threatening to ‘come down over there’ if he didn’t show some respect.

…

“Bakugo, this was fun, thanks for coming with me,” You smiled softly to the short grunt that came from Bakugo after. He was walking slightly ahead of you, hands in his pockets like usual with his head slightly down. He was wearing his black earphones but only his ear that was away from you had them in while the other earbud hung loosely near his chest. He hasn’t been able to look at you since you two left the karaoke booth and he thought himself a fool that he couldn’t stare at you for more than two seconds without feeling embarrassed about what had happened. Bakugo handled embarrassment the same exact way he handled every emotion that didn’t fit his tough exterior, it fuel his anger and he turned into a grumpy mess, silent yet aching to explode if someone were to speak to him. Though he could never do that to you. No matter how much his anger seemed to tip over, he couldn’t imagine you being at the end of it.

The walk back to your house was as silent as the walk to the arcade. Bakugo wasn’t really sure what to say, whether to question you about what had happened before that untimely interruption or just leave it up in the air. Did you actually like him…? Like how he liked you? Or was he imagining everything, misreading the signs like an idiot hoping the girl he liked actually liked him back? You were a nice girl without a doubt. Bakugo could see that every time he would watch you train with the girls or when you would give up the last dessert to Mina during lunch time or when you would feed the stray cat at the back of the school or when you would always, always greet him with a smile in the mornings if you were to cross paths with him and then Bakugo would think he was special until you would do the same for Deku shortly after. You were a nice girl indeed so for all he knew, you could’ve been hanging out with him out of the kindness of your heart, giving him all this attention because you were too nice to say no to a date. Then again, it didn’t explain what happened in the booth because that was all you and you were—dare he say it—flirting.

Bakugo stopped walking, turning halfway to look at you. You blinked, wondering why he stopped and was now staring at you, mouth slightly open like he wanted to say something.

“Something on your mind?” You asked him, cocking your head to the side slightly, but he simply stayed staring for what felt like an eternity and it made your cheeks burn.

When Bakugo realized he was just repeating the question he wanted to ask in his head without saying it was when he swiftly turned his back to you and continued to walk. “…Just hurry up… it’s getting dark,” but it was only around 4pm and Bakugo didn’t know that it was capable for him to feel so stupid, first, losing his ability to speak as soon as he looked at you and second, instantly regretting his words as the sun was still wide awake in the skies.

But I don’t want this to end, was what you wanted to say but you found your words stuck in your throat, afraid that Bakugo might not feel the same as you.

“Um… thank you for walking me home. Today was really fun,” you said when you reached your front door and turned to Bakugo. You told him that repeatedly throughout the walk, you really had no other way to express how happy you were. You felt that a hug would’ve been too uncomfortable for him as you’ve never seen Bakugo express any affection physically. “I kind of wish it didn’t end…”

“Ah—well, you know, time.” What the fuck was he saying? He growled under his breath, frustrated that not only was he losing his thoughts to you but his language.

Oddly enough to him, you understood and chuckled. Fuck the butterflies in his stomach. “I know. There’s just not enough of it… I guess I’ll see you Monday, then?”

“Yeah,” you waited for him to leave but he stayed staring at your face. Perhaps even longer than he did before, and you saw him aggressively move his hand within his pocket like he was fumbling with something. He spoke your name softly because he thought he had lost your attention, but he in fact had it because he was all you could focus on the entirety of the date. “You had fun, right?” He knew you had said it multiple times, but he wanted to ask because he couldn’t believe it himself.

“Yeah, of course, it was the best Saturday I had in a while,” Bakugo felt like you had to have been lying but that wide smile held all the truth in the world.

“Then—this,” Bakugo pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket and gave it to you. “You wanna go with me next Saturday?”

You took a good look at what he gave you, nearly dropping it when you read out the words. “Di-Disneyland?! I—yes! Yes, I wanna go with you!” you clutched your ticket to your chest. Desperate to calm your beating heart, you wanted to fan your heated cheeks but instead you tucked the loose strands of your hair behind your ear, realizing that Bakugo could very well be asking you out on another date. “A-As another date…?”

“Sure.” He grumbled, looking away from you for a moment and returning his hands to his pockets. “Then Saturday, I’ll text you the details.”

You nodded frantically at him with one of those large smiles he loved, and he said his goodbye and left your doorstep. You glanced at the ticket in your hands and jumped excitedly on the balls of your feet. It was hard to believe that Bakugo invited you to Disneyland. You didn’t think he was interested in that kind of stuff but there was a little part of you that wanted to believe he was going just for you. Oh, you so wanted to be right!

Before you knew it, you heard a call of your name and Bakugo was already back in front of you. He quickly leaned forward, and it felt as fast as it came. You saw a glimpse of his red cheeks hidden behind a frown and furrowed brows. “For today. See you Monday,” he quickly said before he turned around and left, leaving you stunned on your doorstep. Of all the things that happened today, the least thing you expected was Bakugo Katsuki kissing you on your cheek.

Bakugo stormed out of there as fast as he could, fingers touching his lips as he realized what he had done. He just acted. He felt like he couldn’t leave without doing something to finish off this day but—Bakugo groaned loudly, throwing his hands up in frustration—he didn’t even stay to see your reaction if you liked it or not. What if he arrives home and you text him to cancel the date because you felt uncomfortable about what he did? He was stupid, utterly stupid! He should’ve read the mood instead of acting on his urges.

He continued to berate himself in his head until he finally convinced himself that you liked it because who wouldn’t like a kiss from him especially since he was taking you to Disneyland.

Later that night when he was lounging on his bed, you texted him to once again thank him for today and that you looked forward to Saturday. Bakugo grinned to himself and replied ‘same’ before shutting his phone and closing his eyes. He thought he would be able to put his thoughts about you to rest but he couldn’t help but try to relive the events of today. Especially the feeling of your cheek against his lips.

As he expected, your cheeks were the softest thing he ever felt. The last thing he recalled was hoping to sleep and suddenly wake up to it being next Saturday.

Part three - Slumber - coming soon!

[ichliebeanimalcrackers]

Secret Love Affair

Yes, I’ve watched another Kdrama and this one is definitely getting added to the “My Favorites” list. I’d describe it like this: if the Palme d’Or could be awarded to a television show, then this one would definitely be in the running (and it would most likely win it). There are 16 episodes but it feels more like a movie and that’s one of the things that makes this drama stand out. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’d like to apologize in advance if this particular opinion piece is all over the place and has no respect for proper punctuation. I had a lot of feelings after watching this drama, and one simply needs to let all of that energy out. With that said, I’m just going to do bullet points because that seems to make sense in this situation lol

Since music is always an essential part of any show/ movie (especially in this case), I have to start with the soundtrack because it’s magnificent. It really is. It fits well with the theme and constantly adds an extra layer of emotion to what’s already happening on the screen. Whenever you hear the end credits waltz, you know something is about to happen and it makes you feel a bit uneasy. “Four Hands” is full of longing and “Affair” is cautious but steady. More often than not, this show uses music to convey emotion in place of a dialogue. One needs to simply listen and look at the characters expressions to understand what’s happening. One of the great things about music is that on some awesome, cosmic level it’s alive and has the power to make us feel and understand things without any words. 

Whenever I watch a show, I like to read the comment section because there are always interesting opinions out there. I was surprised to see that some people thought that the pace of the show was too slow. I certainly respect other people’s opinions, but I personally think that it wouldn’t have made sense if the story kept on jumping from one thing to the next. There was plenty of intrigue throughout the entire series, and I was already feeling nervous 10 minutes into the first episode. It’s a difficult situation to be in, but Sun Jae/ Hye Won met their soulmate. They have finally met their match. They both see each other for who they are and that’s more than enough to fall in love. What’s even more awesome is that something was already there even before they officially met. He briefly saw her at the concert hall and she saw a video of him playing piano (just his hands). Talent recognized talent and the rest is history.

Honestly, I was surprised with her friends. Pleasantly surprised. They already seemed like pretty cool people from the beginning and it was made even more evident as the show progressed. I expected them to scold and alienate her, but they didn’t. They were there for her and even comforted Lee Sun Jae when he had no one else to turn to. I bet they were shocked to learn about the relationship between the two (and the other stuff), but they tried to understand the situation from her point of view and didn’t leave her side when things really went downhill. We can only guess what happened after the events in episode 16, but I really hope that Professor Jo got appointed as the next Dean instead of Oh Hye Won’s husband (Professor Kang)...The man is obviously more qualified, has a good personality, the students respect him and he’s simply a chill guy. 

Speaking of Oh Hye Won’s husband...I feel bad for saying this but that man is just pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, they all have their own flaws but in this case there was nothing that set him apart other than him being totally indifferent unless it had to do with his position in the school hierarchy. He, along with the others, was ready to throw her under the bus for the “greater good” if the situation called for it. At some point in the show, I believe they do mention that they didn’t marry for love and that it was more of a comradeship. This means that they’ve been married for at least 10 or more years and you would think that during that time people would become each other’s support system. Nope, not in this case because the man never cared to begin with and it seems that she’s the one who has always carried the relationship. She definitely works more, she’s a better musician and she’s kind of a legend in this school/ foundation and perhaps that’s why (subconsciously) her husband always felt inferior. Yes, it must hurt to find out that your spouse is having an affair, BUT I don’t think that’s what bothered him so much. I think he was more scared of losing his chance of becoming the next Dean and not being able to mentor Sun Jae (who would definitely further solidify his credibility as a professor). I might be wrong, however, that’s how it seemed to me. There were a couple of other instances when he should’ve taken her side. For example, that scene when she comes back home with a bandaid on her forehead because the psycho lady threw game pieces at her and it cut her skin. A normal person would've been concerned that someone would do that, but he simply brushed it off as if it’s OK that they treated her like that. Ugh, just thinking about it annoys me. 

The cinematography was great. It’s a different style and it stands out from the ones that one would normally see in other dramas. It fits well with the mood of the show. The camera shots from different perspectives, the color and how some of the angles repeat but at different pivotal moments throughout the show added an extra oomph to the overall viewing experience. 

If anything, this show should give people an appreciation for classical music or at least they’ll be able to recognize it whenever they hear it again. I was listening to songs on YouTube Music the other day and a song popped up in the “recommended” category and it was the Rachmaninoff: Rhapsody On A Theme of Paganini, and I immediately thought “Omg! That’s the piece that he plays during the recital!” If it wasn't for this show, I would’ve never known the title of this piece.

The way Sun Jae treats Oh Hye Won. We really do need to take a minute to talk about this because certain details were too precious. Everything was always done with sincerity and without trying to show off in front of the person that he loves. First of all, the way he started mopping the floor when she came to his apartment for the first time. He didn’t let her step onto the floor until it was clean (it already looked pretty clean) and he gave her a towel to clean her hands after she touched the staircase railing that leads to his apartment. How he makes sure that her head doesn’t hit the pipe when they are walking through a construction site/ abandoned building. How he went on a full cleaning/ home improvement mode when she sent him her confession because he wanted this to be a safe place. He changed the lightbulb outside, so it wouldn’t be as dark in the stairwell and he power-washed the concrete stairs. He treats her like she’s the most treasured being he’s ever encountered in his entire life. These actions might not be heroic or grand, but there’s a lot of warmth/ love within them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the shoes. They way he constantly places and rearranges her shoes. Bonus: the fact that Oh Hye Won listed him in her phone as “Home” and when he sees that...Ahhh! My heart is so full! 

All of the actors were great. The age difference between the two main lead actors is similar to the one of their characters and it made this story more authentic/ believable. I don’t think it would’ve been the same if the actors in real life were the same age but one of them tried to play someone younger/ older. Their chemistry was on point too and they simply look great together.

The fact that they both knew the severity of the situation and the repercussions that might come with it will surely send chills down your spine. It is an extremely risky situation and perhaps more for her than for him but it’s still dangerous. I’ve read a comment where someone mentioned that up until 2015 adultery was punishable by law in SK. After reading that, it certainly put things in perspective. I think they both felt the spark from the very beginning, but Sun Jae was bold enough to be the first one to say that he has feelings for Oh Hye Won. And how difficult it must have been for her to take a chance on something that she wasn’t expecting. The characters know and we as the audience know that there’s no turning back once they take this leap of faith. I mean *shivers* it’s impossible not to feel nervous for these two! Bonus: their first night together. Great choice by the director to only let us hear their conversation while showing spaces in the apartment. It’s their moment and theirs alone.

Something else that I like about this show is that Sun Jae never let others influence his opinion/ stance on the matter at hand. For the most part, he based his opinions on what he was experiencing and what he was able to observe. Of course there were things that he didn’t understand due to his age and perhaps in certain aspects it’s good that he didn’t fully understand, but he certainly wasn’t oblivious. Also, I like that Oh Hye Won  didn’t treat him like a child. She’s older, that’s true, but she wasn’t constantly reminding him of it. Even with the age difference, they are equals and understand each other in a way that’s unique to them. When they had moments of frustration, it wasn’t because one of them felt inferior. It was because they saw the other person hurting and felt helpless for not being able to make it better.

The horrible people that she had to work for. Oh Hye Won is a smart individual, and I’m sure she knew exactly who she was dealing with and the things that they were capable of. Nevertheless, she carried on while keeping her head high without letting things get to her. The thing that frustrates me the most is that this diligent, intelligent, talented person took most of the beating for something that the other party was equally guilty of but most of them were able to walk away unharmed. At the end of the day, they regarded her as a disposable tool and didn’t think anything of it. It’s just unfair. I was glad that at least some of the others who were involved got what they deserved. One must have nerves of steel in order to endure what her character had to go through and not lose one’s dignity in the process. You can’t help but have respect for someone like that. 

As much as I wanted a more Hollywood type ending, I think the writers gave us the most realistic and logical ending. Even though she had to go through all these hardships, she’s finally free from the grasp of those who have never truly valued her. There are still challenges to conquer, but at least she will be in control of her life and all future decisions will be hers. I suppose that in the end she was indeed the true winner.

Sun Jae’s soliloquy at the end *sigh* If that’s not one of the most romantic and heartfelt speeches of all time, then I don’t even know anymore. They’ve always had their own way of communicating, especially through music/ music references, and this one is perfect. I can’t figure out if it’s the same piece that he wrote about in his journal as a kid or if it’s the one that Professor Jo recommends to him or could it be the one that’s listed by Oh Hye Won’s name in the program? In any case, it’s extremely fitting that he would compare her to a classical piece of music. She’s the physical embodiment of that music. He will play it every day regardless of the weather or his mood. They have to be apart for the time being, but this will be his way of keeping her close. Once again, I think this goes to show that their connection goes beyond the ordinary. It’s on a cosmic level and just like music it has no boundaries.  

The show has an open ending and I truly like to believe that everything turned out OK. I’d like to believe that he did win the competition. I’d like to believe that she was released sooner than expected. I’d like to believe that they lived a long and happy life together. That’s what I believe and I’m going to stick with it.  

Moral of this long post: this is a great show and it’s worth it. 

[countessofbiscuit]

For the ask thing: N, T, W for tcw :)

ヽ(゜∇゜)ノ

N: Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom.

An appreciation for how massive the GAR really is — even if you subscribe to the ridiculously low-balled canonical size of the army, Fives has no reason to be chummy with everyone, ffs. If Anakin and Obi-Wan weren’t attached at the hip, Rex and Cody would hardly ever lay eyes on each other because there is such a disparity in rank (which should indicate a wildly different brief, but lol, this is TCW, where a marshal commander leads from the trenches and a mere captain has a seat at the strategy table). Obviously, this is just a personal gripe: I don’t actually care how people choose to approach the GAR in their stories, this is all about having fun … *I* just have more fun reading fics that are somewhat grounded in realities.

Mating cycles/heats — idk it just seems to me that this fandom with a plethora of alien species to play with doesn’t explore reproductive diversity and weirdness enough. 

Tolerance of clonecest (or whatever the hell you wanna call it, I use that term as shorthand; whether or not clone-on-clone maps onto IRL incest taboos is an essay for another day) — it’s just … it’s interesting to me that folks are more squicked by the possibility that two identical walking war crimes may frot because they have no one else and find some small measure of comfort in each other than, idk, the brutal realities of their lives where death, mutilation, and maiming are omnipresent — and this pervasive idea that clones are the Goodest Bois just out there wearing flower crowns and frying only droids all day makes me : \ This isn’t an exhortation for people to just ‘get over’ their squicks, but I do believe in examining them. 

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Headcanon: Cody is not a born-again Mando nor does he have any time for whatever watered-down Mandalorian bullshit filtered down from the Spec Ops wing. 

Question this headcanon first sought to answer: Why doesn’t Cody wear a kama? 

Id-scratching Justification: He loves this thighs.

Plausible Justification: He likes his legs to be unencumbered for roundhouse kicks. 

Solid Justification I’ve adopted from kaasknot: He earned his advanced-recon stripes in ARF not ARC school. 

My Meta Justification: The line clones do not adopt Mandalorian culture or language wholesale. 

I can’t even qualify this with “call me a RepComm snob, but …” because there’s even LESS foundation for the clones-are-vode idea in the new canon. From where would they have imbibed it? Outside the brief nod to Fenn Rau’s pilot instructor days on Kamino, new canon has not given us any reason to believe the line clones had Mandalorian trainers. And even if you discount new canon’s Jango-is-not-a-Mandalorian heresy, Kamino would not be at pains to emphasize their products’ connection to a culture so perennially at odds with their client (the Jedi/Republic). 

Upon deployment, really almost anything goes; but to say that clone culture wouldn’t hold up pretty firm in the face of other galactic cultures is a little demeaning, and however much people absorb in their search for identity, why would the clones have immediately glomped onto Mandalorian concepts? Why not Corellian? Or Kuatian? Or Chandrillan? Or hells, even Force traditions? Someone may have pointed out to the odd clone, “hey, y’all were made in the image of a notorious Mandalorian!” and set some wheels turning, and sure, Boil was resourceful enough to do his own homework and decide that he quite liked the precepts of a certain group of Mandalorian paramilitary extremists and wanted to slap their sigil on his helmet, but there’d be such a diversity of osmotic experiences in an army of millions/billions spread out across a galaxy that I simply cannot buy the idea that the clones all woke up one fine day thinking of themselves as Mando or Mando-adjacent. 

Setting aside new canon, which I find deathly dull, I prefer RepComm, with its assertion that many of the RCs are born-again Mandos after their sergeants (indeed, the Republic almost has a fifth-columnist problem in Spec Ops with the True Mando influence of the Nulls and certain Alpha ARCs), but the average line trooper view of that mentality is “y'all are a fucking cult.” 

The line troops would identify firstly as brothers and soldiers of the Republic, and they would’ve had close to 0 touchpoints with the Prime Clone. In fact, many might resent the connection, especially deeper into deployment (“What has Mandalore ever done for me? They're a bunch of loose cannons — if they aren't refusing to lend a hand, they're actively leading Sep militias for pay. Fuck the lot of them,” etc. etc.). It would have required a shitton of cultural and linguistic leakage from the Spec Ops wing for the bulk of the line troopers to know even more than a handful of words in Mando’a at the time of Geonosis. (I can believe swear words would’ve been adopted hella fast, if only to fill a vacuum.)

But again, the army is not a monolith, and I am fully on board with the idea that some Alpha ARCs made it their mission to teach Vode An to every unit they came across and the sheer epicness made it wildly popular, and that they spread certain words and concepts (vod, shebs, di’kut, Manda, oya, kara, kandosii, etc.) like a rash. Or a company or two got teamed with a Mando sergeant and two squads of RCs for a month and were belting out “Coruscant'a aden mhi” by the end of it. Or a division found itself with an Alpha-ARC XO when their Jedi General's CC got popped two weeks after Geonosis and Alpha-89 wouldn’t rest until every trooper knew Dha Werda Verda by heart and backwards. Just … show me the work — why should I accept that Bly speaks fluent Mando’a in the bedroom? WHY? Invest me in your clone-culture worldbuilding!

ANYWAY, to bring this back round to my die-on-this-hill headcanon about Cody … he doesn’t like kamas or feel compelled to wear one. Setting aside fun Cody-was-an-Alpha-trained-spec-ops-intern-for-a-month-and-hated-it backstories aside, I just don’t think the dude had the time of day for all that the Manda are watching us warrior brethren, hold your buy’ce high vode, one tribe one dream osik. His identity is wrapped up in overseeing the Third Army and serving as General Kenobi’s right-hand man; on balance (if we’re trying to be realistic, see: above), Cody interacts more with natborn officers and Jedi and fellow CCs than your average ground pounder trooper, and Obi-Wan and Republic officers certainly aren’t going to wax lyrical about Mandalore anytime soon. Obviously, Marshal Fucking Commander Cody is well within his rights to read whatever he wants and talk to whomever he wants and adopt whatever beliefs and language he wants. He has all the resources at this fingertips and clearance that would probably make a lot of natborn admins in REPINT weep. But I don’t personally see him going Mando, though it amuses him to watch Rex try :p The minute Cody earnestly starts using Mando’a in a fic, I’m usually out.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Hmm. I spent a good hour’s walk thinking about this and came up blank. Hate is a strong word anyway, and if it’s well-written, I can be sold on anything. But, I can almost guarantee I will never click on ABO unless it’s been recc’d or written by a friend. Not because I have any moral objection, just that it doesn’t interest me and good characterization is often lost to the mandatory ABO dynamics.

… on the flip side, I will ALWAYS click on Fuck-or-Die :D

[quackeroos]

paper airplanes | p.parker

Pairing: peter parker x reader

Summary: peter wants to talk to y/n to clarify what he heard, but she avoids him like the plague. (PART 3 of Locker Notes)

Warnings: swearing, break downs

Words: enjoy 5.4k of word vomit

A/n: Sooo I haven’t made a masterlist of this yet which kinda sucks lol. I’m gonna fix it soon, so I’ll let you guys know. Also, I’m planning to release a new Peter Parker x reader mini-series! I haven’t started writing it yet but the plot is already laid out, I just have to start writing it lol. Anywaaaay please leave some comments and your thoughts about this and what you think might happen next. Constructive criticism is also DEEPLY appreciated.  ❤️

*gif is not mine 

General Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Dude, you’re staring again.”

Peter whipped his head towards Ned’s direction, awaken from a daze. His face contorts into confusion as he hummed out a reply. “What?”

“You’re staring at her again.” Ned nodded off towards Y/n Toomes, who was peacefully eating her lunch with different kinds of paper and midliners scattered across her table. She was twirling a pen in her hand and was pursing her lips every now and then, struggling to comprehend the formula on her textbook. 

  Peter kept quiet and slurped his carton of milk, anything to divert his attention from her mannerism. The teenager started observing her after the ‘Parker Therapy’- which was months ago- seeing as she wasn’t really who people thought she was. And now, after the little ‘locker note’ incident, Peter started noticing the little mannerism that she does, and he would be lying if he told himself that he didn’t find her attractive. And after hearing the soft mumble that escaped her lips, Peter was starting to question a lot of things. One of which were how he saw her; friend or… something more?

   “Why don’t you just talk to her Peter? I mean, you’ve done it before haven’t you? How hard is it to go and do it again? Just go up to her and say, ‘Hey Y/n, can we talk?’.”

  “It’s not that simple, Ned.” He sighed, “It’s hard to communicate with her- she doesn’t open up easily. It took me a while back at the rooftop, so I don’t think I’m gonna get those answers anyway.”

“So, what now dude? Are you gonna just sit here and stare at her like a love-sick puppy?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah definite- wait. A love-sick puppy?” 

“Dude, you’re literally crushing on Y/n Toomes! How come you haven’t noticed it yourself?”

Peter shakes his head frantically, afraid of the students that flocked around them who might have heard, and God was he hoping that they didn’t. “Sssshh! Dude! It’s not like that, okay?” It was hard to survive high school with Flash already on his back, and he didn’t want to start another Middle school incident that involved Flash telling everyone that he liked Millie Chapman. And let’s just say, it involved Millie giving him the finger and moving to another city. But did he really like Y/n Toomes? Ned might just be overexaggerating. He liked Liz. Liz, the senior girl who has been nothing but kind to him and Ned since freshman year. Liz who was a dear to everyone and made sure the decathlon team would win every competition. Liz, who was so out of reach. But isn’t that what dates are for? To get to know the person better? Peter chose to believe that.

“I like Liz. I’m still gonna ask her to homecoming.”

Ned gave him the ‘yeah right’ look, not fully believing what he said. “And how exactly are you gonna do that?”

Peter was caught of guard. Dang, he hadn’t decided on that one yet. He always got stuck on being himself and some grand romantic gesture for her. He cringed at the thought. Does Liz even like grand romantic gestures? Peter was stuck in a loop.

 “I honestly don’t know, man.”

***

Chemistry period came and half the class were almost dozing off. It was when the doors burst open all the students woke slightly, making them jump in their seats, as well as the teacher. Peter pushed the drawer and hides away his stock of web fluid, attention now at the door.

“Sorry, Sir. The Student Council had an urgent meeting.” Y/n said in heavy breaths. Her forehead was glistening with sweat and her hair was a bit of a mess. She held her books, papers, and binder in one arm. Peter could feel her heartbeat beating loudly from where he was sitting.

“Do you have your permit?” She fished out the piece of paper from her binder and hands it her teacher.

“Alright. You can go ahead and take a seat beside Parker.”

Peter’s ears perked up at the mention of his name. He met her eyes and just how he first saw her, her eyes were unreadable. Everything on the outside was unreadable. But he could feel her heart race faster and louder once he saw him. And he could’ve sworn that he caught her tighten her grip on the books and binder.

Y/n mumbled a silent ‘Thank You.’ and made her way towards his table. Setting down her things and taking the seat beside him. She purposely moved it a bit farther from him and this did not go unnoticed by Peter. He somehow got hurt by this little action, and he didn’t know why.

The teenage boy tried to distract himself from looking at her. It already made him nervous about the thought of bringing up their recent conversation and the fact that she was right beside him was not helping at all. Peter bounced his leg, stared at the board, and tapped his pen against the desk, anything just to distract his unanswered thoughts.  

“Stop that.” A voice pulled him away from his mind. His neck craned a bit towards the source. Y/n’s brows were furrowed, and she wore a frown. Her eyes remained on the board as she wrote on her notebook. “It’s fucking annoying.” She mumbled the last so she wouldn’t be heard by the teacher in front. 

After her cold warning, Peter kept to himself. He could feel the embarrassment rise to his ears. Great, how exactly am I gonna talk to her now? Peter could only wish they were still on that rooftop, conducting their little Parker Therapy. Back then it was easier to reach out to her, seeing as she was vulnerable and transparent. But the Y/n he was sitting with now? She was this intimidating block of ice who doesn’t have any intention on making contact with him.

Because of her cold exterior, Peter wondered even more about how she came to like him when she doesn’t even show it? Peter had only felt her heartbeat now, but he could’ve sworn he also felt it during their first encounter. He knew Y/n was good at hiding her feelings, so it wasn’t a surprise when he hadn’t notice it right away. 

But are his suspicions correct? Does Y/n Toomes like him? He had to know the answers, or else the thoughts would be plaguing his mind for weeks. 

The bell rang, and as soon as Mr. Nelson dismissed the class, Y/n shot up from her seat and quickly gathers her things and headed straight for the door. If Peter didn’t know any better, he would’ve assumed that Y/n was avoiding him like the plague. 

“Y/n, wait.” He called out and reached for the sleeve of her beige sweater. But it slips from his hand as she tugs it away from him.

“I have to get to class.” She replied blandly and leaves the room. 

And with that simple act, it confirmed Peter’s assumption.

***

“Why don’t you just write her a letter again and slip it into her locker like the last time you did with Liz?” his tanned friend suggested, ripping out a piece of paper from one of his notebooks and started folding the corners. 

“First of all, you slipped it in her locker. Second, she’ll probably think someone is playing a sick joke on her.” Third, she’ll easily know that it was him

“Then how about you wait for her after school? She always stays late for Student Council and Homecoming planning.” 

“I’ll come off looking too weird.”

“Text her?”

“I don’t even have her number!”

Ned huffed, “I don’t know dude. I’m all out of ideas.” He finished folding the paper and threw the plane out of boredom. The paper airplane glided across the classroom and crashed pathetically at the corner of the room. Peter eyed the origami and he lit up at the idea that came into his mind. 

“Ned, that’s it!” he jumped up from his seat.

Ned, confused by his sudden outburst, “What did I do?”

And before he could even question his best friend again, Peter was already out the door, his shoes squeaking against the newly polished floor.

***

Y/n Toomes wasn’t a difficult person to find, despite being a busy girl who had a lot on her plate. If Y/n wasn’t at the Student Council room, she would either be in an empty classroom, the rooftop, or the library. 

Peter found her at the library. 

She was hunched over a book and like the sight from the cafeteria, notes and midliners scattered her table. Nobody dared to sit with her, even though the library only had a few students in it. The librarian walked over to her table and conversed with her for a bit. The girl smiled as she nodded at the old woman and she gladly returned the gesture to her.

Peter found her smile contagious, it also made the corners of his lips tug upwards. God, he felt like creep.  Snap out of it Peter! He takes out the paper airplane he made beforehand and smoothing out the wrinkled corners. His head peeks out from the bookshelf and aimed it towards her table. He really hoped this would work. With a deep breath, he throws the paper and quickly hides behind the shelf, taking cover. 

The paper glided swiftly across the room and successfully landed on Y/n’s table and immediately caught her attention. Peter watched silently, his heart pounding in anxiety. He couldn’t bear to watch, so he left the room and decided to wait for tomorrow to come. She held the origami in her hand and looked at her surroundings, curious and wary of a possible stalker. 

The paper airplane had her name written on it, and she could’ve sworn she had already seen the handwriting before. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that someone threw this at her, it was done on purpose. Her curiosity getting the best of her, Y/n unfolds the paper and reads the scribbled note. 

We need to talk. I need to know something, and you have to clear it out for me. If you don’t mind, I wanna do another therapy with you. We can talk at one of our classes together or at the rooftop.

 I’ll be waiting, Stranger. ;)

The note crumpled in her hands. Y/n could feel her face become red; either from embarrassment or annoyance, she didn’t know. Hadn’t she made herself clear to him that she didn’t want to interact with him at all? After their conversation at the gates of the school, Y/n wanted nothing more than to disappear from his line of sight, become invisible to Peter Parker and forget about every interaction they made. Even their little “Parker Therapy” that still held a place in her heart and mind. 

Peter was the first person she felt comfortable around with in a long time. Sure, Liz’s Mom was a dear, she felt a bit comfortable with her, and she was thankful for her, but she never really felt close to her, despite everything she does just to make her feel at home and loved like how her parents did. 

Peter Parker was the first person who felt a bit like home, even though she had only met him personally on that first encounter. God, what has become of her? Getting attached so easily to a guy she barely knew? Y/n had started noticing the little things Peter did during class, lunch and after school. She was everything she thought he would be; a soft nerd with a heart of gold. And it only made her fall for him even more. 

 What happened to her? She fell into a dark abyss, that’s what. 

And in a span of a few months.

Y/n needed to forget about having feelings for him. She realized that as soon as her feelings dawned on her. He was already interested in someone anyway. So why bother with trying to get his attention or confessing? She has too many things to prioritize anyway. And dealing with a broken heart or having any romantic feelings for a softie nerd is not on table. It has to be locked away and thrown to a trench- never to resurface again.

But another problem resurfaces: She was going to have to confront Peter Parker tomorrow.

***

To say that Peter Parker was worried was a little understatement, he was actually terrified. How long has it been since they had that first heart to heart session? Months? Probably. And their last conversation didn’t at all go smoothly. He could still remember her flushed cheeks, her hot tears falling, and her hiccups. And deep inside Peter he felt hurt seeing her like that. Why though? Was it because she was crying or because he was guilty?

Why the hell would I be guilty? Peter was confusing himself even more. 

He was pulled away from his thoughts when he saw Liz walk through the halls. She was beautiful, and Peter couldn’t tell himself to stop staring. They briefly made eye contact and she smiled at him, making his heart go thump thump thump. Peter woke again from his daze when he saw Y/n following behind her cousin. She wore a yellow-knitted sweater, mom jeans, and a pair of white Converses that were a little bit worn out. He saw that same style on countless of girls he would pass by, it was ordinary.  But why did she stuck out of the hundred of students that were passing by?

Her eyes flick towards him and he held the eye contact. There was something unreadable in her eyes but he could hear the familiar beats he heard yesterday. Gradually increasing in pace as they held the eye contact even longer, and Peter could feel his own heart beating too. Y/n gave him a sullen glance before walking away in a much faster pace. Peter stood there, feeling his heart. 

What was happening to him?

  Y/n dumps all her textbooks inside her locker then takes out her notebooks and other things needed for the day. She could feel the little organ inside her rib cage jump up and down in excitement. She placed her hand to calm it down- and it helped, but just a tiny bit. Why was he staring? Why the hell was he staring? Secretly, she peeks from the door of her locker, just to make sure if he was still there.

 He was, and Peter was also looking. 

The slam of her door made the passerby students and the ones beside her jumping at the sudden sound. Y/n walked fast, not caring if she were to bump in some students every now and then. She had to get away from Peter Parker. There was no way in hell she was going to have that conversation with him.

Y/n found herself at peace in English class. Sure, the teacher was a like a fly when discussing the lesson and it kinda bored her classmates out because of the pieces of literature and the constant discussion on proper grammar, but Y/n enjoyed it. Chemistry and English were her fortes, besides being (a little bit) bossy. She was about to take a short nap, after not getting any no thanks to the paper airplane she received yesterday. The lesson was easy after all, and Kevin Mullan, who was twice her size, was perfect coverage for her nap session.

She was about to lay her head on her desk when something pointy poked her arm and landed on her desk. It was another paper airplane. In her head, Y/n was screaming fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! While on the outside she was staring at the folded paper like a bomb waiting to explode. Her eyes calmly searched the room for a familiar mop of brown hair and puppy-like eyes. Lo and behold, there he was, Peter Parker, who was sitting at the farthest seat with a sheepish smile and an awkward wave. 

Since when did he take this class?

  Her sleep-deprived state wasn’t helping her at all. She was starting to forget the littlest things to avoid him at all cost. Peter had more than one classes with her this year compared to last year.

His face egged her to unfold the paper airplane, and slowly she did.

Did you get the other one? I really have to talk to you. There are some things on my mind and you’re the only one who can answer them. It’ll just be another Parker Therapy, so it’ll just be the two of us. What do you say, Stranger?

She turned to him and finds that he had been looking at her the whole time with an expectant look on his face, his knee bobbing up and down, and his habit of playing with his pen. He only did that when he was anxious about something.

Deep inside, Y/n wanted nothing more than to go up on that rooftop with him and spend the rest of the day talking more about their experiences and relating to each other. But she knew what she had to do, or else it would be even harder to forget about the feelings that were building up.

And so, she writes down her response, crumples the piece of paper and throws it back to Peter, who had easily caught it even though he had been taking notes. Y/n didn’t wait for his reaction, so she turns back towards the front and laid her head on her palm and started to doze off. 

No. That was a one-time thing, I’m not doing that again. And stop calling me with that nickname. It pisses me off. 

Peter gulped and the slightly threatening note. He could hear her menacing tone and the icy spit by just reading her response. He kind of expected it though, like last time. She wasn’t an easy egg to crack, so it was going to take a lot more than just two paper airplanes to get the response he wanted. Peter was sure he was gonna get more than just spiteful words coming out of her mouth after this. 

She felt another poke on her left arm, and the familiar texture of paper resting above it. Y/n’s head was starting to boil. And not getting desired sleep plus Peter Parker’s constant letter sending was surely to drive her to her wits’ end. 

I’m not gonna stop sending these if you don’t say yes. :) 

God how she hated him. Her eye twitched while reading the taunting note. The smiley face at the end almost look like it was laughing at her vexation. Who was he to think he can do this to her? They weren’t friends, not even acquaintances. They just happen hit it off at the rooftop and know a little more about each other than other people who surrounded them.

  What the fuck do you want from me, Parker?

  Again, like before, she crumpled the paper and threw it to his desk a little bit more harshly, and he had caught it perfectly, with a smug little smirk dancing on his lips. All the more reason for Y/n to get pissed off. This little shit! Peter knew he was really gonna get it this time. The nerve that appeared on her forehead said so and how she was now harshly writing on her notebook, tearing it, and crumpling it into a ball. It was too late for him too notice the incoming paper, and this time - it had already hit him in the face.

“Ms. Toomes!” the teacher yelled. 

Her voice boomed throughout the classroom, catching the attention of everyone. Peter winced at the sound of her shrill voice and the pain on his nose that he was sure would leave a small mark. What was in that paper? Rocks? he rubbed the sore spot.

“I didn’t start this, Ms. Warren!” Y/n’s voice loomed over the now silent room. “Parker was passing notes during the discussion.” 

Ms. Warren raised an accusatory brow. “And what was in the paper?”

Her lips sealed shut and stared silently at the adult. She didn’t want to tell the whole class what Peter was up to, but she wanted him to finally stop. Should she tell her? “Go on, tell us. What was in the paper that had you two throwing it back and forth?” the teacher pressed. She could feel his anxious stare drilling at the back of her head while Peter waited for a reply.

“N-nothing, Ms. Warren.” she mumbled quietly in shame.

 The teacher didn’t say anything, instead, she takes the pink pad from her table, takes her pen, and gives the pink slip to her. Repeating the action, she gives one to Peter also. He didn’t protest, just silently took the paper and bowed his head in shame. Y/n was the first one out of the door, pushing through the doors to get to detention before he does.

 Upon entering the room, Peter already sees her sitting at the farthest corner of the room with her head laid down, hair covering her face like a curtain. He felt guilty, partly because he was the main of cause of both of them getting detention. He noticed it before, that dark circles were under her eyes and the vibe she would give off when entering school was a little off. Peter can notice a stressed-out person when he sees one, and Y/n was in fact under the weight of it all. The guilt added more. I’m a horrible and selfish person.

Once Mr. Dell excused himself to go to the restroom, Peter moved to the seat beside her. He leaned close, close enough to hear her soft snores (which Peter found adorable) and smell her signature scent, which smelled heavenly. He carefully places the bottle of raspberry iced tea and the breakfast sandwich he had bought from Delmar’s on the way to school. There was barely any space left on her table, so Peter tried his best sneaking it inside her backpack without disturbing Y/n from her peaceful state. She shifted in her seat, and her hair uncovered half of her face. Peter froze at her sudden motion and studied her for a moment before proceeding to place the food. 

Y/n felt something move in her bag, either there was something inside of it or someone was stealing something from her. She stirred awake, eyes slowly opening, and a wave of soft brown tufts greeted her. She knew that wavy lock very well, and the signature scent that she had become hooked on. A part of her wanted to jolt up and make him back away, at least until after detention. But the other part was just keeping her, to just stay, pretend to sleep and maybe he’ll go away on his own. And whatever it was that he was putting inside her bag, she can throw it out any time. 

And so, Y/n stayed. 

The shuffling in her bag stopped, but his presence was still near. She wanted to open her eyes a little, just to take a peek if Peter had gone back to his original seat. But the hair in her eye made it difficult to do so and it was starting to itch her eyelids. She badly wanted to scratch it away. Planning to just go ahead and do it (he won’t even notice she’s awake anyway if her eyes are closed) she scratched away the itch, which relieved her for a bit, only for the sensation to come back. Y/n flinched when she felt her strand of hair move away from her eyes, and it caused her eyes to open.

She had expected Peter was the one in front of her, what she didn’t expect though was how close he was to her face. Close enough for her to see his freckles scatter on his face like stars that could be connected and make out constellations, see every strand of eyelash that she could count if she wanted, and the pools of chocolate brown. 

The same thing could be said for Peter. He didn’t know what drew him in to do what he did and lean in closer to observe her features. It was the first time he was examining Y/n’s features up close. His palms became sweaty, and he gulped at the proximity. Was he supposed to be this close? Her scent became intoxicating the closer her got and he was starting to get addicted to the smell of old books and a bit of jasmine

Realization dawned upon them as soon as they felt each other’s breath on their skin. Y/n jumped away from seat and had her back on the wall, Peter moving a seat away from hers with eyes blown wide at the sudden shock. Both teenagers were flustered, hearts pounding and heat rushing up to their faces. 

“What the hell were you doing?!” she screamed at him.

“I-I uhm...” he started pathetically. “I wanted to give you some snacks? You look like you haven’t eaten breakfast or slept, so- so I just thought I’d give you mine. I’m not even that hungry anyway, and I ate some cereal before I left. I mean oatmeal! Not cereal, ‘coz ah-uhm... Never mind.  A-And I noticed you were scratching your eye, so I moved your hair out of the way so you could sleep better, and you kind of just... woke up.” 

Y/n frowned. “That still doesn’t explain why you were literally inches away from my face, Parker.” 

Because I wanted to look at you. “Uhmm.. I-I was there because.. I-”

“You know what, don’t answer that. It was rhetorical. Just keep yourself on the other side of the classroom.” She zips her bag open, removing the contents Peter had placed inside. “And I’m not some charity case, so you can just go ahead and keep your food.” She slings her bag on her shoulder and moved three rows ahead of her previous seat. Hopefully the distance she placed was already clear to Peter that she doesn’t want him near her. But Peter only moves more, but just a row behind her so that he wouldn’t overstep the imaginary boundary she had placed for herself. 

“There’s also something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.” He started expectantly. “We can keep this to ourselves, so you don’t have to-”

“Whatever it is, Parker, I don’t want to answer it okay?”she cut him off easily. “ If it’s about Liz, you can go ahead and talk to Betty about that. If it’s something related to homecoming, approach anyone from the committee. If you want to talk about putting the both of us here in detention, I don’t give a flying fuck.” 

“It’s about you, actually.” he spoke softly. He hoped that saying this, it might intrigue her into talking to him. Openly, just how things were at the rooftop. “I didn’t mean to hear it, but I did. And... And it kind of- confused me? I wasn’t even sure if I heard it right but-”

“Peter, I really don’t wanna talk to you right now.” She exhaled tiredly. He was taken aback by her sudden change in tone, the change in the air, and the way he said his name. That was the first time he heard her say his name. “I know you’re trying to get me to open up to you just like in the rooftop, and that you have a lot of questions regarding me. But I really don’t want to, okay. I’m tired, and I’m hurting.” Physically and Emotionally, she thought.

 “Can you just... go back to how you were before we had that talk? Go back to being Peter Parker who knew me as Liz’s cousin, co-head for the homecoming committee, student council member, and the bossy foul-mouth sophomore, just like how everybody does. Just... give me the peace of mind, okay. I’m stressed, I’m tired, I’m drained and everything in my body hurts, and I just can’t deal with you.” 

Y/n panted once she burst it out. It was only half of the thoughts that kept her awake, but she figured it was enough information for him to know. She didn’t want to give out that she liked him, that she needed to keep her distance, or that she was hurting because of him. 

Peter stared at her dumbfounded. Had she always been super stressed out? Was he so caught up on knowing the truth that he hadn’t notice Y/n was already about to explode? He tried piecing everything together, he hadn’t fully understood everything that she said. The only thing he had caught on was that she was tired, in pain, and she doesn’t want to deal with him. That she doesn’t want to talk to him. Is this her closing herself off or was all the exhaustion finally hitting her and Peter had just set her off? He felt the guilt weigh down on his chest and he did not like the feeling. 

The ringing off the bell cut through the silence, and the heavy tension in the air went away. Mr. Dell hadn’t come back from his trip to the restroom (Peter assumed he went for number two). It was time for them to go to their next class, and Y/n took it upon herself to go and leave the room. 

“Whatever it is you plan on asking me, just forget about it, okay?” she lets out a tired sigh. “What you heard about me, what you heard me saying, or anything, drop it. I don’t really care how people look at me now, what they think of me, or what they think they know about me. Because honestly, I’m tired of everything, and I just want to finish this school year.” She took her bag and left the room, running into Mr. Dell, who had just returned from the restroom. Y/n acknowledged him before leaving the detention room and went on her way to her next class.

“Aren’t you leaving, Parker? You’ll be late for class.” Mr. Dell called out to him snapping him away from his thoughts. He fumbled with his response and quickly exits the room. 

Everything was a blur for the rest of the day. He saw her every now and then in the hallway and in lunch, but she would avoid his gaze and look on straight ahead. The stress was still clear on her face and body language, but she held her head high all throughout the day and managed to fool the people around her. Everyone but Peter. That was the thing he had acquired after seeing Y/n vulnerable  two times.. And he knew that she was keeping everything together just to get the day done. 

By the time Peter got home, he was alone. Aunt May was still at work and would be a little late than usual because of workload, so he was all alone with his thoughts. He was deeply confused. He didn’t get the answers he was hoping for, but something tells him that she had left crumbs in the middle of her sentences. He was piecing it together, but he couldn’t. Girls were hard to understand, he couldn’t grasp anything Y/n was trying to say, and it frustrated him not knowing anything. God, how he wished May was here to help him understand. 

He eventually became tired and wanted to just forget everything. Maybe then he wouldn’t be overthinking everything. Peter went out for patrol to clear his head. It eventually worked, but that was until he saw the familiar yellow sweater walking just below him. Y/n was walking down the street, with bags that held different kinds of arts materials for Homecoming. He couldn’t help but follow her with his eyes. She stopped by a black car and opened the back door, loading all of her purchases. Before getting in she looked around warily. Peter could tell that she must’ve sensed him watching her. Luckily enough, she didn’t look his way and went inside the car, driving out their parking and going home. 

Peter got back to his apartment and May was already home, cooking up meatloaf. He changes back into his clothes and went out to join his aunt for dinner. He ate, he did a bit of his homework, brushed his teeth and went to bed. It took him a while to finally get some shut eye, and once he did, he dreamed of getting lost again in pools of familiar e/c eyes and the smell of old books and jasmine on a rainy day.

Peter slept with a warm feeling in his heart despite his troubled mind about the girl in the yellow sweater.

-

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