#i fully believe he calls his lawyer to ask how to do the most common 21 centuary tasks ever

[angstandhappiness]

LMAO YES YES PLEASE

Home sick

I believe the Great Sage just wants to stay home with a normal rutine and not fight demons for like 200 years at less. 

Also… Why he only has that photo of Mk? 

No reason. 

Mk in the media photo under: 

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[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 10/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

The following morning, you were called into the police station to finalize the documents from yesterday's investigation. All they needed was a pen and ink signature.

Connor had been in conversation with another detective when you walked in; so, you decided not to bother him.

On your way out, you spotted Connor seated across from Hank. At first, you thought he was lost in his computer screen; however, he spun around to greet you as you approached, rising to his feet with a smile.

"Do you have eyes in the back of your head?" you teased.

"I do not. I saw the documents register to the case and knew you were finished," he answered, a little robotically. His tone didn't quite match the soft look on his face.

You stepped in a little closer, looking up at him with expecting eyes.

"I-" Connor cleared his throat. "-was unsure if you were alright with public displays of a-"

You reached for his tie, slid your fingers around the smooth velvet right above the clip, and gave a light tug. It forced Connor to bend down, just a little bit, and brought his mouth within range for yours.

You closed your eyes and leaned into the kiss with a smile, silencing him. He reciprocated, gently, closing his own eyes. It lasted barely a second and was hardly anything compared to what you had done last night; but, it left your tummy swarming with butterflies.

People could see.

Connor's coworkers could see.

Good.

"Ah, geez," Hank grimaced, rising to his feet. "Get a room."

You parted from Connor with a little giggle. When you released Connor's tie, he fixed it promptly, though it had hardly moved at all. It was impossible to miss the adorable, dorky smile he was trying not to wear.

"Damn kids," Hank grumbled as he walked away, coffee cup in hand.

"Are you heading back to work?" Connor asked softly, still standing close.

"Yeah, I better get back there before they have a kitten..." you trailed off when Connor's gaze shifted away from you and looked over your shoulder. The soft look in his eyes vanished, replaced with something cold.

"It's nice to see you again, detective."

You rotated around, following Connor's gaze.

This man's face had once been plastered over every magazine cover for business, wealth, and technology. Anyone who knew even a little bit about androids knew who he was: piercing blue eyes, a strong jawline, dressed impeccably.

Elijah Kamski, the inventor of androids. Two men were standing nearby, dressed as sharply as he was: lawyers, most likely.

"What are you doing here?" Connor asked. His cold tone didn't go unnoticed. It actually startled you a little.

Elijah was Connor's creator, even if he hadn't been working at Cyberlife at the time of Connor's inception. Some hostility was to be expected; but, somehow you doubted it was that simple. It sounded like Connor had history with Elijah.

"I've been asked to answer questions about Charles Reaves," he answered, seemingly uninterested in the whole thing. "I'm not entirely surprised to see you here - comfort zones, and all."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I enjoy being a detective," Connor replied, not bothering to mask his irritation. When Connor spoke was when you realized how close he was standing beside you. You could practically feel his voice modulator rumbling against you.

Something about Elijah really bothered him.

"Of course," Elijah replied. His eyes landed on you. "-and who might you be?"

You gave your name, followed with, "I'm an artificial biomechanical engineer."

"A fancy way of saying you work on androids. Wonderful. I haven't gotten to spend time with someone of a similar profession in a long time," Elijah replied, sounding oddly sincere. You doubted that your professions were anything similar.

You extended your hand, offering it to Elijah out of common courtesy. However, when Elijah reached for you, another hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

Connor's hand.

Your eyes shot up to the android, surprised by his actions. His LED was a strong yellow and his eyes were sharp, almost glaring at the man across from him. Elijah didn't seem at all bothered. In fact, he let out an amused laugh and started to smile.

He pulled his hand back and Connor let go.

"I thought you told me what you wanted wasn't important?" he stated, more so than asked, voice low, ensuring that others in the crowded room wouldn't be able to hear. It was clear that he was challenging Connor.

Your eyes moved back to Elijah, confusion heavy in your glance. His icy blue eyes shifted back to you for a second and then back up to Connor's fierce brown orbs. The implication made you nervous.

"You've changed," Elijah stated, sounding pleased by the discovery.

There was a retort ready to leave Connor's throat. He was interrupted, however.

"If you're done dicking off, Connor, there's work to be done," Fowler called out to him from the steps right outside his office.

Connor looked over his shoulder and gave his superior a curt nod.

"I better go," he said, rotating back around to look down at you.

When your eyes caught Connor's, it was suddenly easy to ignore Elijah, who was still standing there.

"Go catch some baddies," you replied, encouragingly.

Something danced behind Connor's eyes and his LED eased back to blue. You thought he was going to swoop down and steal a kiss; but, he didn't, turning away and walking past Elijah. He glanced at him briefly, a warning as he passed by, before disappearing into the precinct.

"Mr. Kamski we must-" one of Elijah's lawyers tried catching his attention.

Elijah lifted his hand, harmless, but arrogant, and the lawyer immediately stopped talking.

"I was hoping I could talk to you, actually?" he asked you, voice polite, sincere.

"I appreciate the interest, Mr. Kamski. But, I promise I'm not interesting," you replied stoically.

"I disagree," he replied with a quiet laugh. "You are an item with an android. I find that very interesting." It was kind of scary, really, how charming Elijah sounded. He sounded like he really meant it. "Please, humor me for a bit. If there's anything I can do for you in return...?"

You blurted the first thing that came to mind, doubting Elijah would ever consider it. "With the protests - lots of androids are afraid to look for help and supplies are limited as it is with Cyberlife's shutdown."

The corner of Elijah's lip curled slightly. "You want to help them?"

"Yes," you replied firmly. "I want parts for repairs - thirium pump regulators, memory units - things that are hard to get."

"That can be arranged."

"How do I know you're good for it?" you dared to ask.

Elijah laughed quietly, briefly. "I suppose you'll just have to trust me."

You briefly pondered exactly what the hell this man was planning on asking you. He was a millionaire, a super genius who created artificial intelligence and fully operational android skeletons.

You just repaired them. What could he possibly want to talk to you about?

Your thoughts wandered to Markus and Simon, and the many androids that were potentially going without repairs. Even if they couldn't feel pain, they didn't deserve to be broken, to be unable to speak, or hear, or see, or walk.

"Okay," you replied lowly. "I'll humor you."

Elijah nodded with a smile. "It wasn't too cold today. May we?"

He gestured to the hallway that led to the main entrance. You led the way, walking past him and heading for the grounds.

Elijah was right. The weather outside wasn't too bad. The air was crisp and chilly, but not unbearable. You were doing just fine in your jacket. Clouds were looming in the distance; but, they weren't going to make it before you were done.

The courtyard outside the station wasn't particularly impressive, but it was empty, and you and Elijah fit just fine on one of the benches.

For a moment, Elijah's focus was elsewhere. He seemed to be thinking, trying to decide where he wanted to begin. You felt small seated next to him.

Without taking a break or skipping a beat, Elijah asked, "are your desires because of what he is or in spite of it?"

"You want to talk to me about my relationship with Connor?" you blurted, surprised. You met Elijah's gaze uneasily.

He didn't budge. His expression suggested that he didn't see it as strange in the slightest. It wasn't what you were expecting. Then again, Elijah Kamski was one of the leaders of android inception. He was their creator, almost exclusively.

You were sitting with the man who made Connor's life possible.

That thought struck you like a hand across the face.

"I do," Elijah answered.

"I-..." you stuttered.

The obvious answer was on the tip of your tongue. But, was it the truth? You loved the android parts of him: the way his LED shimmered with emotion, the quirks of an android learning to adapt to human society, the unique way he talked, how powerful he was, the beautiful construction of his body, inside and out.

But, you also loved the parts of him that were not dictated by what he was: his kindness, his passion, his curiosity.

"Android or human isn't the point. I'm with Connor because I want to be - because I like who he is, regardless of the what."

"I see," Elijah replied softly. Something in the way he said that suggested he didn't quite believe you.

You frowned at him, but decided against arguing with him. It wouldn't have been entirely in good faith. You knew that your feelings for Connor were physical, too: both the android aspects and the parts that imitated a human.

"Why did you choose to be an engineer - specifically for androids?" Elijah asked. "It's a fairly new profession, for obvious reasons, and you're very young."

Elijah couldn't have been more than 40 years old, if you recalled correctly from the countless essays you had to write in college. He wasn't that much older than you. Yet, somehow, he managed to make you feel like a child.

You doubted the inventor of androids would be alarmed by your answer.

"Because I don't like people," you answered plainly.

If anything, he liked that answer. Through a smile, Elijah replied, "are they not people?"

Once upon a time, you weren't so sure. But, then, you saw their suffering, had been suffocated by the fear in their eyes. You saw them plead and beg for help. You had seen androids, designed with very clear instructions, offer unnecessary kindness that most humans never did.

"They're better," you spat back.

"Logic and reason above feelings?" he asked.

"They do feel," you challenged.

"How can you know for certain?" Elijah tilted is head a little, suspicion in his tone more so than doubt. It sounded like he was trying to plant a seed of distrust. "How do you know that androids are capable of real emotions and not just imitating what they've seen?"

"Humans are capable of the same fucking thing," you snarled. "Pretending to give a shit when they don't. When an android does it, it's programming. When a human does it, it's just fucking normal, right? What difference does it make?"

Elijah's eyes burned brightly, admiring the passion in your voice.

"What are you getting at, anyway?" you added on sharply.

"I made androids to make our lives better: they care for our children, our elderly, grow our food, do dangerous jobs, protect us... and fuck us."

You had read lots of articles about Elijah Kamski, saw many news outlets cover him. He had proclaimed many times that he designed androids to make everyone's lives better. He promised they were not capable of thought beyond their instructions.

"Many debate their intentions. If they can choose beyond their programming," Elijah continued, as if he had read your mind. Or, maybe, you just knew where he was going with this.

"Deviancy," you observed.

You looked away from Elijah, losing the tolerance for the ways his eyes burned into yours.

"Androids are perfect: beautiful, strong, compa-"

"Are you wanting me to tell you that I have a robot kink?"

Elijah huffed out laughter, brief and quiet.

"I won't pretend that Connor's not so beautiful that it fucking hurts," you whispered harshly, feeling ashamed. You dragged a heavy hand through your hair. "But that's not all. He's kind. He wants to protect people: androids and humans. He doesn't see it as their side and our side. He-... He's different. The way he sees the world, I want to see it, too."

"Maybe, then, you see why I'm fascinated by you," Elijah stated, standing up. Your eyes followed him, and you realized he was just casually stretching.

"Why do you find this so strange? Two people who want to be together - what's so weird about that?"

Elijah turned around, hands buried in his coat pockets.

"One was born twenty-something years ago. One was made in a factory a little over a year ago," Elijah answered casually.

"You don't think I've thought about that?" you asked him sharply. "That I haven't fought myself over whether or not this is right?"

Elijah didn't seem bothered by your moral dilemma.

"I'm sure you're well aware that all androids process at a faster rate than humans. They awake capable of comprehending things the average adult can... and then some. Your moral dilemma is pointless. I know they will bring humanity to places we couldn't even imagine..."

"-but you're fascinated with whether or not they can love," you deadpanned.

"I'm fascinated with love between an android and a human," he answered.

There was something unspoken in that observation. You wanted to ask him if he loved his creations, if he cared about their well-being. Elijah had been pretty careful to make no statements during the revolution, oddly enough.

"This couldn't possibly be worth your time, or money, Mr. Kamski," you uttered, suddenly sounding quite tired.

He chuckled sincerely. "Just look at it as... humoring someone who gained everything and... lost everything."

Another statement with something unspoken beneath. Did he mean Cyberlife? Elijah had departed from the company of his volition, if the news was to be believed. Maybe he experienced a moral dilemma. Or, maybe, if Charles Reaves was anything to go by, a difference in opinions.

"Before..." you began, deciding to take a gamble. "-when I first went to school for androids. I just thought they were interesting. Like spending company with humans without all the bullshit. I didn't think... they actually... felt anything."

You paused and let out a heavy sigh. It brought shame to you, admitting this. You thought about Connor, about Markus, about the many androids that came in and out of the clinic on a daily basis.

"My first job, I repaired manufacturing androids. These guys came in with their arms hacked to bits, covered in dents, legs falling off, torsos torn in two, singed and burnt to a crisp. Any job that risked injury, that's what they did."

You dragged a heavy hand through your hair. "Some of them were really afraid they were going to die."

You paused when you failed to suppress a sniffle and hastily wiped your tears on your sleeve. "I realized... I was wrong. I wasn't an engineer; I was a nurse... But, no one else saw them that way. Until-... The deviant uprising and I - I wanted to do something I was proud of for a change."

Elijah turned back around to face you, his expression unreadable. He was quiet, taking in the sight of you, seemingly touched by your empathy.

You wiped your tears away hastily and added on gruffly, "-and then I met Connor and now you're here asking me these fucking questions."

Elijah smiled again, his lip twisted like he didn't want to laugh.

"You're a liar, by the way," you accused, changing the subject.

Elijah didn't look offended, but intrigued.

"You said they can't develop consciousness or desires," you explained, remembering his speech quite well because you had to write about it.

You expected Elijah to say something about your accusation. You doubted he would defend himself, maybe dance around the subject, since that seemed to be his preferred method.

"You would know all about that," he stated, amused.

Before you could reply, Elijah continued. "I know this all seems pointless to you; but, I'm glad I met you. You put me at ease."

You frowned at Elijah's statement. "I don't see how: we did all this talking and nothing came of it."

His expression changed. He looked understanding, maybe even sympathetic.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I'm not always direct... The world's more interesting when there's questions needing answers. I wanted to see what became of the RK800; but, I didn't expect you."

You had a feeling you were blushing, being spoken about in this manner.

"His purpose is unique: an android designed to hunt deviants. If his blueprints had never been destroyed, maybe they could have made one incapable of deviancy: would have been the perfect soldier."

You stiffened when you heard Elijah's claim.

Connor was designed to-... what?

You didn't want Elijah to think this was news to you.

"His blueprints?" you uttered.

"Yes. Connor is-" Elijah answered lowly. "-the last of his series."

Talking about Connor like this stirred up unpleasant feelings in your gut.

"He is different from any other android," Elijah explained. When you looked up at him, you could see something akin to sadness in his eyes. "How isolating the world must be when you were made to hunt your own kind."

Connor wasn't alone. He had Hank. He had you-

But, this wasn't about you, or humans for that matter. This was about Connor. You had never seen him spend time with other androids, or with anyone besides Hank. He always drowned himself in his job. Maybe, Connor was lonely, and you had been too busy keeping him to yourself to notice.

"Fuck-" You wiped your eyes again and swallowed a whimper.

"I'm sorry for bringing you to tears," Elijah apologized. He sounded like he meant it. "Making you upset wasn't my intention."

Elijah was quiet for a moment, giving you a chance to calm yourself down.

"I'm afraid I've avoided at least ten phone calls during our conversation..." Elijah pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and eyed it grossly. "If we never meet again, I want you know that I valued this conversation dearly."

"Mr. Kamski," you blurted, before he could turn away. "Before you go, did-... Did you program them afraid to die?"

"No," he answered quietly, not even hesitating. "The will to live... It was an unexpected outcome."

...

...

...

Back at the apartment, Connor came in just after you had finished eating dinner. He greeted you with a kiss and turned away. Part of you didn't want to worry him, especially when he had an android homicide that was likely linked to Charles Reaves. That was another issue entirely; but, you promised yourself that you would be honest with him.

"I have to tell you something," you beckoned to him, grabbing his sleeve to stop him from retreating.

Connor turned back around to face you, eyes focused on yours, concerned.

"I spoke with Kamski after you left. He told me what you were made for."

Something akin to panic danced behind Connor's eyes. It was subtle; but, it was definitely there.

"I'm sorry, Connor. You should have gotten the chance to tell me yourself. I shouldn't have found out that way."

Connor struggled to maintain eye contact with you. His LED was yellow, spinning against his temple. He seemed to be searching his thoughts for what he wanted to say. "I don't know if I would have told you, honestly," he uttered lowly, turning away from you. "It's something I really... really regret."

"We all regrets things, Connor - bad choices we made, mistakes. It's norm-"

When he turned back to you, shame and anger were written over his face. You were a little frightened by that face - a face you hadn't seen Connor make before.

"I called androids 'its'. I - I treated them like machines - like things - my own kind. I destro- murdered - androids for being deviant."

"You were under control, Connor," you argued fiercely. "What choice did you have? You didn't have a choice! You did what you thought you had to do. That wasn't you, Connor."

"It's what I was made to do," he challenged. "It's what I knew how to do. I was good at it. How is that any better?" His tone was as calm as it usually was, but had some bite and venom to it. He was gesturing to himself with his hands, fingers pointed at his own chest.

"I was proud," he continued, volume rising slightly. "Good job, Connor. You stopped the deviants like a good machine!" He was taunting himself now. It hurt you to listen to him mock himself. "You did EXACTLY what you were told to do, without question."

You sniffled, trying to bite back tears.

Connor raked his fingers roughly through his hair before dropping them down to his sides. "I would say... 'I'm a machine designed to accomplish a task' - and I was proud of it. 'You can't kill me - I'm not alive'." Connor had a peculiar way of quoting himself, like he was talking about someone he didn't know.

"I was going to find the source of the deviants and stop them!" he added on, frustration and volume rising. "I held a gun to Markus' face! I contemplated letting Hank DIE for my mission. That's all that mattered - the fucking mission. It's not just regret! I'm a mach-"

"You didn't have a choice!" you practically screamed, silencing him. You felt it, the first tear fall.

Connor's eyes watched that teardrop slide down your cheek and the fire in his eyes extinguished. Realization struck him like he had just been slapped across the face. He was letting everything out on you, letting his regrets pour out and drown you.

"I could never understand what that feels like-" you paused, trying to hold back a sob. "What it was like to be p-put through that, Connor. To not see yourself as a living being - to think that you weren't alive - that your life didn't fucking matt-guh-!"

You choked back a sob, making a guttural noise. Your head lowered into your hands.

You could feel the android looming over you, close, protective, worried; but, when you looked up at him through tear-stained eyes, he seemed almost afraid to touch you, like he wasn't allowed to. Regret was written across his face again; but, this time, it was a different reason.

He had yelled at you when you hadn't done anything wrong-

He was taking it all out on you-

You took that initiative and reached for his hand. As soon as your skin touched, Connor laced your fingers like you were his only lifeline saving him from drowning in the ocean. He looked like he was drowning, like he was lost.

"You were a prisoner in your mind, Connor," you whimpered. "I'm glad that you're deviant," you whispered, trying to stop the tears. "I'm so proud to be yours..."

Connor surrendered, leaning in to let his temple touch yours. His eyes fluttered shut.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled," he rasped.

"I'm not crying because you were yelling," you whispered, leaning into his touch. "The thought of you not caring about yourself - thinking you weren't alive: that hurt me. Connor, I-..."

You wretched your hand free on his so you could wrap your arms around his back and pull him into an embrace. Connor's face slipped from your temple and sunk into your neck. His hands grabbed fistfuls of the back of your shirt and clung to you for dear life.

You pressed your cheek into his hairline and leaned against him. As always, Connor was solid, unrelenting against your force, holding up your weight with ease.

"I am alive," he uttered against your skin, like he was reminding himself of something important. "I am alive," he said again, his voice cracking.

You felt wetness on your skin and knew that he was crying. You squeezed him tighter and tighter, until it started to hurt. You pressed a wet kiss to his temple before resting your cheek against the soft skin there.

No one could tell you this wasn't real.

Flesh and plastic.

Blood and thirium.

Bones and metal.

It didn't change the hurt in his voice or the adoration in his eyes. It didn't change the way he couldn't hold back a smile when he was praised. It didn't change the way his hands held you when you were afraid. It didn't change his inquisitive nature or the care he held for others.

It didn't change-

-that you were madly in love with him.

[catty-words]

Why Not Just Anyone Will Get Their Own Narration

Or, the narration meta no one asked for.

Never Have I Ever shifting the POV to Ben Gross for an episode was a pleasant surprise for most viewers—certainly was for me!—and, as a result, I’ve seen/heard the other cast members get asked who would narrate their own POV episode. And as much as I love the speculation, I’ve noticed a pattern in the narration that makes me a) think not just anyone will get a breakout POV and b) appreciate the way Ben getting his own is, not forecasted, exactly, but highlights an internal consistency in the universe that I really enjoy.

To start, let’s take a look at how McEnroe discusses Kamala—the best example of what I mean from the first episode.

Intro: That’s Devi’s cousin Kamala. She moved in after Mohan’s passing to complete her PhD at CalTech. Devi is not a fan.

Later in the Ep: Kamala was expected to have an arranged marriage after she finished her studies abroad, but she felt less than enthusiastic about that idea.

The intro is similar to what most characters get in the first episode—a brief rundown of why they’re in Devi’s orbit and a hint at their main personality traits. And, in addition to this intro being framed in how Kamala relates back to Devi, we get the bit of insight that Devi doesn’t like her. It’s all very much grounded in Devi’s head.

McEnroe popping in during the Vishwakumar family dinner, on the other hand, deviates from Devi’s perspective. Even though Kamala is clearly sarcastic about finding the potential-husband news exciting, it’s also clear that Devi is too self-involved to pick up on this. Instead of frowning sympathetically at Kamala’s clear frustration, Devi excuses herself from the table because Kamala “[doing] nothing and [getting] a full husband in the mail” niggles at her insecurity about being undesirable.

Contrast that with the Ben-centric narration from the episode.

This disgusted reaction, belongs to Ben Gross, Devi’s nemesis. … Ben Gross’s father, Howard, whom he idolized, was a top entertainment attorney in Beverly Hills. This allowed Ben Gross to dine out for years on the fact that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah. And he and Devi have been vying for the number one spot in the class every year since first grade.

We learn of his relationship with Devi, but we don’t actually get additional insight to his thoughts and feelings. The fact that his dad’s a lawyer and that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah are both bits of common knowledge around the school. If anything, the slightly mocking tone in which this information is delivered makes this bit of narration even more grounded in Devi’s POV rather than Ben’s.

Kamala goes on to get a couple more moments of character-building in the narration that go beyond what Devi notices about her cousin. 1.04 is a prime example (As the aunties praised her, Kamala had a sinking feeling. She didn’t want to get married, but she put on a happy face, like I did at the trophy ceremony when I lost the French Open to Ivan Lendl in 1984).

McEnroe also gives us insight to Fabiola’s inner life—insights that Devi couldn’t be said to know because, even though she concedes that it makes a lot of sense in 1.07, Devi’s clearly finds Fabiola’s coming out to be a revelation.

1.03: As a scientist, Fabiola was used to a clear-cut, data-driven life. Which is why she was struggling with these new, complicated emotions.

1.05: We’re gonna jump ship and check in on Fabiola, who has much more interesting things going on. Fabiola had told no one she was gay, except her robot, Gears Brosnan. She knew the next logical step was to come out to some humans, specifically her family.

McEnroe even makes it explicit that we’re leaving focus on Devi to tune into Fabiola’s life in the episode-five narration.

The narration over scenes involving Ben in these episodes, on the other hand, goes like this.

1.03: What made Devi most sad wasn’t seeing Paxton all over the hottest girl in her grade. It was that she let herself believe she actually had a shot with him. … Drunk and rude, Devi was indulging in what I would call self-destructive behavior.

1.05: Years ago, Devi and Ben split all extracurriculars down the middle, except for sports, which required too much locker room nudity for either of them. // Devi was panicking. How did Ben find out about her lie? Simple. Her friends told him.

In 1.03, even though Ben is present, the narration over the scene is all about Devi. If anything, Ben interjects into/interrupts the discussion of Devi’s mental state, and she promptly ignores him in favor of being “self-destructive.”

And even though we get the insight that Ben isn’t comfortable with locker room nudity, it’s—again—something Devi obviously knows/intuited because of the pact.

The second bit of narration I included from 1.05 tells us something Devi doesn’t know—that it was her friends who told Ben about her lie—but rather than being a special insight to Ben’s POV, it’s simply expository. An in-case-you-forgot bit of narration.

The only other bit of narration involving Ben after 1.06 comes in the final episode of the season, where McEnroe sets up another in-case-you-forgot exposition flashback, which makes me curious to know how McEnroe-provided narration involving Ben might evolve for season two.

Eleanor and Nalini land somewhere in an ambiguous middle in terms of McEnroe knowing their inner thoughts and feelings.

For Eleanor, the only bit we have to go off of comes in the second episode.

Devi strode off, confident her friends had believed this bullshit story. Fabiola and Eleanor were confident their friend had become completely unhinged.

This line obviously steps outside Devi’s POV, but it’s also not solely Eleanor’s moment. Everything else that would be—involving her mother—is the same expository, facts-Devi-would-know style of narration. Therefore, I think Eleanor’s still totally in the running for her own POV episode.

As for Nalini, we get these moments in 1.04.

Nalini was a little on edge. This was the first puja they had gone to since Mohan’s untimely death and Devi’s paralysis.

The day had been a long one for Nalini, and she needed a win, even if it was a small one.

They’re grounded in the isolation Nalini feels and one of the major conflicts of the season is that Devi doesn’t have access to the fact that Nalini’s struggling as much as she is. So, we can probably call this a step outside Devi’s POV. It’s simply not as dramatic a break as for Kamala or Fabiola.

Of course, for episode ten to have the emotional impact it does, it makes sense we wouldn’t spend the season discussing Nalini’s heartbreak. It has to be more subtly communicated to the audience via Poorna Jagannathan’s acting and the flashbacks we’re given. Therefore, I think it’s unlikely that Nalini would get her own episode, but definitely not out of the question.

And, finally, there’s Paxton. As the object of Devi’s desire, so much of the narration revolves around Paxton—far too much for me to compile here or discuss individually, since I’m looking to wrap up this meta in, like, a hundred words.

So, here are the bits I’ve pulled out.

1.02: Whoa, Paxton speaks Japanese? Guess his last name makes more sense now.

1.09: Even though Nalini was talking out her frustration more than anything else, Paxton was stung by these little digs at his intelligence.

In 1.02, our narrator is actively surprised by new information, which makes a pretty solid case for the fact that McEnroe doesn’t have access to Paxton’s inner-life. And that makes sense because, when I call him the object of Devi’s desire, I’m putting a lot of emphasis on object. Devi doesn’t fully let herself acknowledge that Paxton’s more than a fantasy, so of course McEnroe—the voice inside her head—wouldn’t be super concerned with his personhood, either.

The line from 1.09 seems to throw a bit of a wrench into the works, since Paxton being insecure about his intelligence has every appearance of being a special insight. And I’m not going to go all the way and say that’s not the case, but I will bring up Devi’s line from 1.05: “Paxton’s not dumb, okay? He’s just…consistently bad at school!”

Obviously, Devi’s at least semi-aware that intelligence is Something to Paxton. On the other hand, she’s saying the line to fend off criticism from Ben, so it could just as easily be posturing as protectiveness over Paxton’s insecurity rather than actual knowledge the insecurity exists.

In summation, I still think Paxton’s the most likely candidate for a breakout POV episode in season two—boy desperately needs some interiority, so this is certainly high on my s2 wish list—with Eleanor a close second and Nalini a potential third. I think it’s unlikely that the show will (or would even consider) writing one for every character, though.

[snarkymonkeyprime]

Okay, I had the scene of Ethan carting Kai in my head yesterday and it spawned this.  Please enjoy!

    “Look at him.”

    Ethan followed Chernov’s gesture to see Kai face-planted on the table.  He snorted and sipped from his champagne glass.  He didn’t think Kai had been drinking that much but by the way he was muttering into the table, it’s clear he’d done a number on himself.

    Ethan patted Kai on the back, chuckling when the other man lifted his head up wearily, squinting.

    “Wazzat?”

    “Having fun down there?” Ethan asked.

    Kai made a noise and planted his face back on the table.  “Spinny.”

    “Suppose I can’t blame him for wanting to be drunk; he does work for Xerynn,” Chernov stated.  He lifted his coffee cup.  “That’s probably been pent up for months,” he added.

    Ethan laughed at that.  When he’d first learned Kai worked for the that lawyer, Xerynn, he’d been shocked and fully expected to discover that Kai was as cutthroat and duplicitous as the black-eyed bastard.  Instead, he’d met a nervous man with no filter who spent most of his time bad-mouthing his own boss.  A welcome surprise, for sure.

    That even Chernov tolerated him and his antics spoke volumes. The lieutenant hated Xerynn and typically avoided anything to do with him.  Kai, however, managed to fracture that quite quickly, becoming an oddly common occurrence at the precinct.  Even now, celebrating Ethan’s promotion to Grade 2, Kai was a welcome addition to their little shindig.

    Jess had already called it quits an hour earlier and Lisa, a few hours before that.  Now, it was simply he, Chernov, and the drunken Kai at the bar.  Ethan, honestly, wouldn’t have complained if it ended up just being him and Kai.  Both of them had opted to get a room at the hotel so as not to worry about their drive home.  And Ethan might have entertained some steamy fantasies earlier in the night. Fantasies now firmly squashed given how out of it Kai appeared.

    He’d been surprised by plenty in relation to Kai over the year.  Kai had a tendency to speak his mind, accidentally, which had been only one of the many charming things Ethan discovered about the other man.  He was clever and more than once, he’d found information that helped out the squad on several occasions.  He had the oddest roommate and he still hadn’t quite figured out what he did for Xerynn.  Kai himself only stated he collected things; so, a messenger?  Not that it made sense and Ethan was aware enough to know that Kai was keeping something back.  

    As he sipped his glass, he watched Kai as he mumbled into the bar top.  As a cop, he knew better than to rely on face value.  The fact that he knew Kai kept things back should have been a warning sign.  Should have kept him firmly on the side of acquaintance.  There were times when he felt he’d nearly seen beyond whatever barrier Kai kept up but he never was able to fully rationalize what he thought he was seeing.  But, Kai himself had wormed his squirrely way into Ethan’s resolve and at this point, he didn’t quite know where he stood.

    Chernov yawned and set his mug down.  “You should get him up to his room.”

    Given Kai was now singing a mumbled, off-key version of “Evacuate the Dance Floor” to the bar top, Ethan had to agree.  He set down his glass and patted Kai on the shoulder.  “C’mon, Hot Stuff; time for bed.”

    Kai propped his chin on the bar, blinking slow at Ethan. And then smiled.

    “Okay.  You know, you’re too pretty to be a cop.”  He blinked and shot Ethan a set of finger guns.  “Pretty Cop Man.”

    Chernov barked a sharp laugh.  “Confirmed: he’s smashed.”  He pulled out his wallet, fishing for his credit card.  “Get him to his room before he does something really stupid.”  He wagged his card.  “I’ll settle the tab and call it a night.”  He rose and patted Ethan on the shoulder.  “Well done, Ethan.  You deserve it.”

    Ethan smiled weakly at the thanks before turning back to Kai who still blinked at him, deep in his drunkenness.  

   Pretty Cop Man.  That had to be the worst part of all of this.  Kai was . . . downright adorable on a good day.  He’d been fully prepared to distrust Kai when he’d learned of his connection to Xerynn.  Instead, as he’d gotten to know the other man, he’d developed more than bit of a crush on him.  Kai was shorter than he was, with shaggy brown hair and wide brown eyes.  And for as much as he grumbled about his job, he was quick to laugh and joke, often pulling Ethan along into his misadventures. Which meant he spent a lot of time with Kai and spent a lot of time thinking about Kai.  

    Years of work as a police detective had given him fine skills at maintaining a poker face.  And while Ethan was typically able to keep such thoughts to himself given their odd working relationship, that didn’t mean he didn’t ponder things.  A lot.  Possibly more than was healthy.  And while he’d never asked, he’d always assumed Kai was straight.  Possibly less straight when drunk?

   “That sucks,” he muttered, getting off his stool.  He tugged on Kai’s arm, coaxing the same.  “C’mon.  Pretty Cop Man wants you to go to bed.”

    Kai blew a raspberry in response but complied.  Sort of.  Mostly he fell off the stool, colliding with Ethan in the process.

    “Easy there,” Ethan murmured, righting him.  “Just got to get you upstairs and let you sleep it off.”

    Grumbling and rubbing his forehead, Kai stumbled along beside him, frequently colliding with Ethan in the process.  Eventually, in an effort to save himself from further bruising, Ethan latched a hand to Kai’s collar, attempting to keep him walking a fairly straight line.

    They made it to the elevator and Kai leaned against the back, staring up at the lighted panels above.  “Hey, Ethan?”

    No more Pretty Cop Man, I guess.  He turned slightly.  Kai was still leaning his head against the elevator wall but he’d angled his head enough to meet Ethan’s gaze.

    “What’s on your mind?”

    “Thanks for inviting me,” he murmured.  He shut his eyes, rolling his head back.  “And good job, Detective Policeman!” he added, holding up a thumb.  He dropped his hand and pushed away from the wall.  He stood for about a second before teetering forward.

    Ethan lunged and caught him, pushing him upright.  “You don’t drink this much that often, do you?” he asked with a laugh.

    Kai squinched his eyes shut.  “No,” he moaned.  “My head hurts.”

    Ethan looked at the elevator dial.  He and Kai both had rooms on the twelfth floor.  Five more to go.  He let go of Kai and immediately grabbed him a second time when he nearly crumpled.  “Okay, gonna do this the hard way.”  He turned around and squatted down a bit, sliding his hands under Kai’s thighs.  “I don’t trust you not the end up on the floor.”

    Kai flopped against his back, his arms draped over Ethan’s shoulders and down his chest.  

    “M’yank you,” he mumbled into Ethan’s hair.  “It’s all spinny,” he whined.

    Ethan hiked him up a bit, settling Kai a bit more comfortably against his back.  “I’ll bet. Maybe don’t try to drink an entire bottle of rum?”

    “Not rum, tequila,” Kai corrected.  He sighed, blowing air against Ethan’s neck, which unfortunately left Ethan shivering.  “Tequila, tequila, tequila,” he babbled, soon singing the word over and over until it slurred into nonsense.

    “I have to admit, you’re pretty entertaining when drunk,” Ethan stated as the elevator arrived to their floor.  He stepped out, grunting under Kai’s weight.  

    Kai’s singing faded and he sighed, wrapping his arms loose around Ethan’s neck, and nuzzling him.  “Comfy,” he murmured.

    Ethan swallowed, his face reddening.  “So, uh, Kai?” he prodded as the headed down the hall.  “Question for you.”  He took the babbled noise in response as an affirmative.  “You, uh, you seeing anyone?”

    “Nuhuh.”  He hummed a new song for a few steps and then sighed.  “I wanna though.”

    What am I doing?  Ethan licked his lips as he rounded the corner to the corridor where their rooms sat.  “What’s your choice?  Women?” He cleared his throat.  “Men?”

    Kai shifted and propped his chin on Ethan’s shoulder.  “Women are pretty,” he sighed.

    Well, that answered that.

    “Men are prettier.”

    Or not?  He considered.  “So, you’re bi?”

    “Bi, bi, bi!” Kai sang, mimicking N’SYNC this time.

    Ethan rolled his eyes, mouth quirking.  “I think that’s an answer then.”  And so damn heartening that Ethan nearly whooped.  Until the last second when he recalled he was carting a drunken man on his back.  That would probably not have earned me points, he thought.

    He reached Kai’s room and halted, letting him slide off his back.  Kai wobbled again and Ethan held him up by the shoulder before digging into Kai’s back pocket.

    “That’s . . . my ass,” Kai intoned.

    Ethan snorted, coming up with Kai’s wallet.  “Sure is.”  He plucked Kai’s room key from its confines.  “And this is your key.”

    “Key!” Kai exclaimed.  He took back his wallet and beamed at Ethan.  “My knight in shining armor.”  He tried to tuck his wallet back in his pocket but it thumped to the floor instead.  He turned clumsily, staring down at it.  “Aww.”

    Ethan burst out laughing.  When Kai turned to look at him, he shook his head.  “Sorry, Kai.  You’re a bit of a mess right now.”

    Kai yawned and shrugged.  “I’m a bit of a mess most of the time,” he said.  He rubbed his eyes.  “I am sorry to have thrust my mess on you,” he stated, holding his arms out. “It travels.”  He leaned in, cupping a hand around his mouth even though his volume didn’t change.  “Blame Xerynn; he started it.”

    “That, I can believe,” he replied.  But he sobered quickly.  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re a mess, Kai.  Far from it.”  He bent down and picked up Kai’s wallet before returning to the door and swiping the key card.  Not risking a glance back, he added, “And if you are a mess, I like your mess.”  He pushed the door open after the beep, holding it for Kai to walk through.

    After a second’s hesitation, his eyes unfocused but direct, Kai shuffled his way in, swatting at the wall to flick on the light.  “Bed!” he exclaimed.  “Oh, bed; I love you.”  He trotted forward and flopped face-first onto the neatly made bed.  “Bed!” he repeated, voice muffled.

    Ethan dropped Kai’s key and wallet on the dresser and leaned against it.  He couldn’t stop grinning.  Even though Kai was about a second from passing out, he lay prostrate, his legs kicking behind him as he repeated “bed” over and over again.

    Shit, I never stood a chance, did I?  He cleared his throat and stood.  “Kai, get some sleep.  I’ll see you in the morning.”  He reached out and grabbed one flailing foot, shaking it once.  “Try not to overdo it next time.”

    Kai stopped kicking and turned his head, cheek against the pale blue quilt, hair a complete mess and eyes bloodshot.  He smiled at Ethan.  “Thank you, Sir Knight,” he mumbled.  He yawned again, eyes drooping shut.  He burrowed into his bed before adding, “I like your mess, too,” he mumbled.

    He’d nearly missed the words, honestly.  But Kai had cracked open one eye, once again direct, if bloodshot.  “Good night,” Ethan husked, turning to go.

    He stepped out into the hall, letting out a sharp breath. He didn’t know if Kai was so drunk that he’d forget their conversation but Ethan, at least, wasn’t about to.  If anything, it gave him a bit of encouragement that maybe there was something more there.  That, friendship aside, Kai might see a bit more between them like Ethan was beginning to.

    He paced to the end of the corridor and swiped the key to his room.  It had been a long day and an even longer night.  He’d received a promotion, free dinner and drinks, and a hint that he had a chance at something with a man he was fast falling for.  

    All in all, not a bad day, as most things went.  

[stopfakerapeclaims-blog]

THIS GUY IS FALSELY ACCUSED, STOP SLANDERING HIM. HOW COULD YOU TERRIBLE PEOPLE ATTACK A VICTIM OF A FALSE ACCUSATIONLIKE YOU DID. I HAVE VIDEO PROOF OF MY INNOCENCE. I NEVER wanted to post something like this, but the threats made on my life have given me no other choice.But being a victim of false accusations is extremely damaging AND dangerous. But unfortunately there aren't going to be 200+ shares of my side of the story, because the truth is not as sensational as a dramatic lie.As I said before, I did not want to do this, it feels violating and wrong, but I am absolutely sickened by the false rape claims and rumors going around about me from "Aria" (on facebook) ie "Stephanie" (as I knew her). We went to Japan together in 2016, where she came on to me and seduced ME the second night we were there. We had a consensual relationship over the entire course of this trip. I took a consensual video during our first encounter, and it VERY clearly shows that it was NOTHING like what she is claiming now, years later. She stated “He decided to take what he wanted by force,” which is so entirely the opposite of what actually happened - in this video she can be heard saying “yes”, “please more”, and “yeah”. Its the definition of not only consent, but enthusiastic consent, which is a very important distinction.WHY did I record this? Because her and I were friends and I thought it would be something we would have fun watching together later. I asked before I recorded us together. I don't EVER record something private without the other person knowing. It would be deceitful and ruin the moment entirely to do so.My lawyers advised me that it would be dangerous to release the video on the internet - she could claim it was revenge porn or harassment, even if it was ONLY done with the intention of defending myself, and that’s why you can just listen to the audio here:https://streamable.com/zxkqi So the question is, WHY is she saying I raped her? I can’t BEGIN to guess what’s going on in someone else’s head, or why they’d lie about something so devastating and traumatic, but Wikipedia lists ELEVEN possible reasons for false accusations of rape (I will list them below). All I can do is share the facts from that trip as I know themYou see, that entire trip me and Stephanie started arguing about the last person on the trip, we'll call him "J" to respect his privacy, who complained the entire trip. Stephanie and I disagreed on how to handle it, my approach trying to be to ignore the behavior and hope he learned to deal with his problems maturely, and Stephanie was taking his side by trying to coddle him and condone his actions. A lot of the problems were him refusing to leave the room to trips and food with all of us possibly because he misunderstood and thought he had to pay for everything when I was in fact paying for it, or perhaps he didn't like the idea of me paying for everything (despite it being a company trip so he was fully covered by the organization) I can’t know which it was for sure.I tried many times over the trip to calm J down and explain that he didn't need to worry so much, but the stress of being in Japan was too much for him. Traveling and being in a foregin country can be really stressful for some people! The last and most extreme moment was when we stepped off the bus in front of the Takadanobaba station and he started violently hitting himself in the forehead with his hand on a public street. I don't know why, I think maybe he forgot something. It was a level of behaviour that was beyond what I had ever dealt with personally and none of us were equipped to help him. When he was stressed sometimes he would make a strange whining noise and bite down on his arm hard in front of people, and that was alarming enough, but this was the final straw in him working for us as a company, and there I made the decision that he wouldn't be working with the conventions going forward. We take on almost anyone as a volunteer, because I believe everyone deserves at least a first chance despite any disorders or problems them may have socially, but sadly it doesn’t always work out in the end, like with J. Stephanie and I fought a lot all trip long about “J” to no resolve. Stephanie is still friends with this person, they’re friends on Facebook and they were one of the first to share Stephanie’s post. Maybe this is some kind of “revenge” for not being nice enough to her friend. But again, how can I really know what someone else is thinking? I can only make educated guesses.I do know that Stephanie has bipolar disorder, and I tried helping her through her issues when we were friends. I learned she had been sexually assaulted before, and I had always felt really bad for her, as anyone would. We spent hours and hours talking in Japan, hanging out, watching movies, cuddling, and yes, sex too. What motivates her actions now, I have no idea, but there are eleven possible reasons listed on wikipedia: confusion, revenge, material gain, producing an alibi, memory conformity, recovered memory therapy, attention, sympathy, a disturbed mental state, relabeling, and regret.With Stephanie there were no drugs, no excessive drinking, no coercion of any kind. I did not threaten to send her home. I did not try or even consider withholding any events or activities from her. SHE wanted to spend time with ME and hang out with me. I flirted with her online, we sent dozens of memes back and forth too, and then in person SHE always initiated everything. Putting her hand on my leg, scooting closer to me, making sexual innuendos, overall being quite clear about her intentionsHOW can you get in a fight with someone and then automatically claim that all past consensual sex you had was rape? Changing your mind months later does not make something rape. In the past I haven't ever been able to defend myself with hard proof because I didn't know where the rumors were coming from. I've gotten threats to my own safety because of these claims. I had people say they will boycott my cons because of these claims. I’ve had people mercilessly harass my friends and family because of these claims. But her own words are PROVABLY false.As anyone would, I kept a screenshot of exactly what she said at first. “After I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he decided to take what he wanted by force. This was on one of the first days of a month long trip.”That’s what she said, and it’s plain as day not true. I know that now somehow the story will magically change - it’s called “moving the goalpost”, where now instead of “force” she will claim something like coercion, or change her story entirely. When people are caught in a lie they often change their story, suddenly remember things differently, and make up new lies to cover their original lies that were seen through. I know some people won’t believe me no matter what proof I have because they’ve made up their minds about me and the situation. Maybe they have a personal issue with me and this fits their narrative that I’m a bad personFalse rape accusations are tragically real and more common than one would think. Some people say the number is "barely 2%" - but multiple studies conducted in a wide variety of manners have concluded numbers from 2% as high as 25%. Read wikipedia, there are numerous academically-backed studies on there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_accusation_of_rapeI'm so sorry to any of my friends who have had to deal with drama because of this person. I know friends who know me incredibly well have had to defend my name because they heard about rumors or are friends with someone who believes this.Now, do not bully, slander, or harass this person under any circumstances. I don't want you to harass them, I don’t want to make them ‘pay’, or make them suffer like I have, I only want to be left alone myself to live my life. DO share this message as far and wide as you can. I am so hurt by these absolutely malicious attacks that I don't deserve. I strive to run the safest and most welcoming conventions in the world, with people by my side who feel even stronger than I do about it! Thank you for reading all of this and supporting me through this awful time.

[nancythedrew]

Nancy Drew Lawyer Time: Renee’s Culpability

Some people expressed interest in me using my almost 1 full year of law school knowledge to try to analyze some ND game things from a legal perspective. Obviously, take everything I say with a grain of salt because I am not a lawyer and this is addressing a not real set of facts. This is also for my own benefit because it is much more fun to write about ND games when prepping for an exam than it is using facts from law school study materials. 

So without further ado, I attempt to answer the question: Was Nancy correct in saying “While [Renee] may not have meant to cause Bruno’s death, she certainly meant to cause mine when she sealed me up in that crypt”?

OK just some ground rules here: I’m gonna be addressing this based on the Model Penal Code(MPC) which is basically like an advisory text for lawmakers to follow when it comes to creating criminal codes by state. Most states have adopted the MPC in some fashion; I have no idea if Louisiana has or to what degree but for the sake of argument let’s just address this based on the MPC/common law(case rulings)/federal law.

In general, to show that someone is guilty of a crime it must be demonstrated that they possessed both actus reus(action or conduct) and mens rea(guilty mind). Here, we’re looking at two different actions that Renee engaged in: giving Bruno the fake letter saying the crystal skull was a fake and leaving Nancy in the crypt. We’ll address the mens rea for each of those separately as well.

Bruno’s Death - Actus reus

Actus reus is usually broken down into four main elements: voluntary act, social harm, factual causation, and legal causation.

Voluntary act: This threshold is pretty easy to meet. This basically asks whether what the person did was actually something within their control. MPC § 2.01(1) In other words, you’re only gonna not meet this standard if you like had a convulsion or seizure and literally could not control your body’s actions. Here, there is no indication that Renee did not actually will herself to write up the fake letter and give it to Bruno, so she meets the voluntary act requirement.

Social harm: The social harm element looks to the negative consequences that the law is intending to prevent. In this case, we’re talking about the death of a human which laws against homicide are intended to prevent. Here, someone died so the social harm component of a homicide charge has been met.

Factual causation: Under factual causation, we use what is called the “But-For Test” which asks “But for X conduct, would this social harm have come about when it did?” MPC § 2.03(1)(a-b).  Essentially, if the defendant hadn’t done what they did, would we still have the same end result? Here, but for Renee creating the fake letter and giving it to Bruno he probably would not have died when he did. Renee could maybe try to argue that at his age a heart attack was likely to happen at pretty much anytime in his life and the timing of the letter and subsequence heart attack were mere coincidence, but I think it would be pretty hard to prove that Renee’s letter didn’t at least somewhat contribute to the heart attack that killed him. Therefore, there is likely factual causation between Renee’s conduct and the social harm.

Legal causation: Legal causation asks whether actual result is not too remote or accidental to have a just bearing on the actor’s liability or on the gravity of the offense. Basically, even if someone technically was a link in the chain that “caused” a social harm, is what they did socially abhorrent enough that we actually want to punish them for it? In this case, Renee could -try- to argue that Bruno’s medical conditions and psychological dependence on the perceived protection he got from the skull were an intervening force that broke the chain of legal causation enough that Renee shouldn’t be held responsible for his death. However, criminal law applies what we also have in tort(personal injury) law which is known as the “Eggshell Plaintiff Rule” or “You take the plaintiff as you find him.” If a plaintiff/victim has a pre-existing medical condition that makes them more sensitive or susceptible to injury, even if the defendant could not have foreseen the condition, the existence of such a condition is not enough to break the chain of causation and absolve the defendant of liability. Therefore, Renee’s conduct will still likely be a legal cause of Bruno’s death.

Bruno’s Death - Mens rea

Mmkay here is where things get dicey. The MPC has four main mental state categories to determine how culpable someone’s mental state is. From most culpable to least culpable: Purposely, knowingly, recklessly, and negligently. Based on what your mental state was when you killed someone will determine the level of homicide you committed. I will address each accordingly.

Purposely - Intentional homicide:

A person is guilty of committing a crime knowingly if “the element involves the nature of his conduct or a result thereof, it is his conscious object to engage in conduct of that nature or to cause such a result.” MPC § 2.02(2)(a). Basically, was Bruno’s death(the result) Renee’s conscious object to cause such a result? Probably not. Assuming we take her at her word that she truly just hoped he’d give her the skull after reading the letter, she probably did not meet the requirement for a purposeful homicide.

Knowingly - Intentional homicide 

A person is guilty of committing a crime purposely “if the element involves a result of his conduct, he is aware that it is practically certain that his conduct will cause such a result.” MPC § 2.02(b), For pretty much the same reasons as above, it’s gonna be pretty hard to show that Renee was practically certain that Bruno would literally die as a result of the letter, so her conduct probably does not fall within what is required for a knowing homicide. 

Recklessly - Involuntary Manslaughter 

A person is guilty of committing a crime recklessly if “he consciously disregards a substantial and unjustifiable risk that the material element exists or will result from his conduct.”  MPC § 2.02(2)(c). Again, here, if we take Renee at her word that she truly did not think her conduct posed a risk to Bruno’s life, it’s gonna be fairly difficult to prove a reckless homicide unless there’s maybe facts that suggest Renee knew about Bruno’s health conditions and knew how the letter would affect those. But given the information we have, she probably did not commit reckless homicide.

Negligently - Negligent homicide

A person is guilty of committing a crime negligently if “he should be aware of a substantial and unjustifiable risk that the material element exists or will result from his conduct.” This is where things could go either way. As distinguished from a reckless mental state where the defendant must have actually disregarded a risk, here it just needs to be demonstrated that Renee should have been aware of the risk giving the fake letter to Bruno posed. The state could probably argue that Renee, being his housekeeper, should have been aware of his medical condition and his emotional dependence on the skull and known that the letter would really mess him up. On the other hand, Renee could probably easily argue that at most she would have anticipated that Bruno would’ve been emotionally distraught but that there was not a substantial risk of him literally having a heart attack and dying.

On balance, the issue of Bruno’s death is likely going to hinge on how much the jury believes the resulting heart attack from the letter was a high enough risk that Renee should have been aware of it. My guess is if the state couples both the Bruno and Nancy(we’ll get to that in a second) situations into one case, the jury will likely be sympathetic to Nancy’s testimony and therefore be more willing to find Renee guilty of other crimes.

Nancy’s Almost-Death

Woo hoo let’s talk about inchoate crimes, or essentially crimes that have not fully been realized. In this case, the state will probably argue that Renee attempted a homicide by leaving Nancy locked up in that crypt. Demonstrating an “attempt” has a slightly different mental state and action requirement, since it isn’t a fully completed crime. Here’s the full MPC definition of it and I’ll go through each possible element accordingly:

MPC § 5.01 “(1) Definition of Attempt 

A person is guilty of an attempt to commit a crime if, acting with the kind of culpability otherwise required for commission of the crime, he:

(a) purposely engages in conduct which would constitute the crime if the attendant circumstances were as he believes them to be; or

(b) when causing a particular result is an element of the crime, does or omits to do anything with

the purpose of causing or with the belief that it will cause such result without further conduct on his part; or

(c) purposely does or omits to do anything which, under the circumstances as he believes them to be, is an act or omission constituting a substantial step in a course of conduct planned to culminate in his commission of the crime.”

Let’s start with that first mental state requirement: “acting with the kind of culpability otherwise required for commission of the crime.” Here, we need to specify exactly what kind of homicide we’re seeing if Renee attempted. The MPC does not allow people to be held liable for attempted negligent or reckless mens rea crimes(which makes sense. How do you “attempt to” be negligent at something), so it’s gonna have to fall into purposeful or knowing. Here, it seems like it was Renee’s conscious object to cause the result of Nancy sitting in that crypt until she died. Therefore, we’re gonna be looking to see if Renee attempted to commit intentional homicide aka murder. 

I was going to address the actus reus elements individually, but the core question all three of them pretty must ask is had the circumstances been as the defendant believed would the social harm have occured? In this case, Nancy was able to escape from the crypt, but Renee did not have knowledge that there was a way to get out of the crypt. Therefore, had the facts been as Renee believed, with Nancy having no way to escape, Renee would have been able to bring about the result(Nancy’s death) that she wanted. Thus, Renee likely met the actus reus requirements of attempted murder.

A quick note on omission: It’s worth nothing that Renee didn’t technically “do” anything. She caught the skull like Nancy wanted her too and then just left; it’s not like she actively poisoned or stabbed someone. But, if you’ll notice, in § 5.01(b-c) it mentions both purposely doing an action as well as “omits to do anything with the purpose of….” Because Renee failed to help Nancy out of the crypt with the purpose of leaving Nancy there to die, she would have still met the actus reus requirement even without “doing” something. Generally, criminal law doesn’t like to hold people criminally responsible for not doing things(though there are some situations where a duty arises and an omission could make you liable), but here the elements requirement the mental state of “purposely” engaging in an omission to lead to a certain result. In other words, you’re only going to be liable for an omission if it was your conscious object that such an omission would lead to a social harm.

So, to wrap up, Renee will probably be found guilty of attempted murder for leaving Nancy in that crypt because her actions and comments (“Bye now, Nancy”) suggest it was her concious object to leave Nancy there to die. Bruno’s death might leave Renee liable for negligent homicide, but it’s going to really depend on how much the jury thinks it would have been reasonable for Renee to have thought Bruno could’ve died based on the letter.

In summary, was Nancy correct in saying, “While [Renee] may not have meant to cause Bruno’s death, she certainly meant to cause mine when she sealed me up in that crypt”? As the Mythbusters would say….plausible. 

That was super long, but was actually very helpful for me prepping for my finals. If ya’ll have any other ND-related law analyses you’d be interest in me trying to do(if they relate to Criminal or Property law even better for my sake, but I also could do Contracts or Torts) please shoot them my way! Again, I am not a lawyer, but I have learned some things about the law and thought it’d be interesting to apply them to a medium I love. 

[villainever]

Touch Them, Talk to Them: Villaneve & Nuance in Villanelle's Psychopathy (2x07)

okay there is SO much to say about 2x07, but none of you want to read 10k words of analysis, so im going to pick one topic and stick to it (for now). in this post, im going to talk about how this episode is – I believe – a response to: a) villanelle’s season 1 claim that what she wants is, among other things, “someone to watch movies with”, b) eve’s question, “you really don’t feel anything?”, and c) martin’s assertion that to psychopaths, there are only “i / it” relationships. i think aaron is a fantastic opposite/parallel to villanelle, because i believe that a great antagonist doesn’t just provide practical obstacles in the plot-path of the protagonist, but removes obstacles in their character-path. an example of what i meant by this is that in season 1, villanelle killed bill, killed frank, ruined evidence, impeded the investigation, and messed eve around (obstructing her plot-path). but she also drove eve to confront the (sociopathic) personality traits that she’d been repressing, and helped eve find her sense of purpose, confidence and power (smoothing her character-path). in season 2, however, villanelle has been shifted from an ~antagonist~ (ostensibly, as she doesn’t fully conform to this reductive role) to a protagonist, and aaron replaces her as the mysterious Other. just as we had with eve/villanelle, he is both Like and Not-Like villanelle. it’s the likeness that makes him an interesting (and dangerous) opponent for her, but it’s the not-likeness that’s so significant.

in 2x06, villanelle has her iconic “boredom” speech, and monologues about how nothing makes her feel anything. so at the start of 2x07, eve asks her if that’s all true – although it seemed authentic, it’s fair enough of eve to ask, considering how often and easily villanelle lies while playing her characters, and that villanelle prompts her (“you’ll feel better if you talk about it”). villanelle’s reply is that she doesn’t actually KNOW if she’s telling the truth or not. i don’t think she’s deflecting here; she appears subtly, but genuinely, torn. she DOESN’T know. 

she wants to give eve a real answer, but she can’t. this is probably the result of a whole lot of mixed information: she’s obviously been told she’s a psychopath (by lawyers and therapists and fellow prisoners and konstantin, then eve), and she knows she enjoys killing people, controlling them, and she is often bored, too, like she said, but none of those things feels like enough. so she offers eve the most she can give: “i feel things when i’m with you.” and while she definitely means this – we could’ve guessed it, considering the lengths she’ll go to to even end up in the same country as eve – she’s still conflicted.

so then, in the last quarter of 2x07, we get this scene between villanelle and aaron:

he describes them as “voids”, and villanelle doesn’t hesitate before agreeing. she’s a psychopath, right? she must be a void. she’s not “nice and normal”. she doesn’t mind stabbing or suffocating or toying with other people. between her and aaron, there’s this heartbeat of dissonant kinship. she’s already joked that they might be “soulmates”, so here, she’s just chatting with him. she’s certain they’re fundamentally the same, and there’s not much to be learned from this, so she’s mostly humouring him. so she asks something out of mild interest, but she thinks she already knows the answer.

“do you ever get lonely?” villanelle does. she finds being cooped up by herself to be tedious, and uses the time to prepare her next interactions – elaborately faking her death for konstantin; planning new presents or tricks or reminders for eve. importantly, in defiance of the “incapable of ‘i / you’ relationships” idea, she is able to apply this notion of isolation to eve. in 2x06, she tells konstantin she’s texting eve “because [eve] might be lonely”. sure, villanelle primarily wants to know how much of an impact she had by killing someone right in front of eve, but she’s not really lying; she can follow and understand the emotional process of “niko left - today’s been a high-stakes day - eve is alone - eve might want somebody to decompress with”. and she feels compelled to offer eve that, to make things better for her. but:

like i said, villanelle has been trying to reach out on the common ground she percieves them as having. she expects to relate to aaron in every way, because he’s a psychopath, too. except aaron goes on about how he knows so much about people, how he observes them. villanelle often does this as well – stalking eve in clothing stores back in season 1, googling her, watching through her windows, etc. but that’s not even near to enough of eve for villanelle, so her reaction is one of confusion. “you don’t want to talk to them? touch them? sleep with them?" 

"god, no.” aaron’s inflection is almost one of disgust, and definitely one of superiority. it’s like she’s asked him if he’s interested in hanging out with rocks. he can’t imagine having any involvement behind mild amusement at the opportunity to manipulate people, like toys. “do you?” he asks.

“yeah! i do. all the time.” it’s an immediate knee-jerk response, and though it’s soft, it’s emphatic. villanelle doesn’t doubt her answer. as the shot pans out, she gives a slight gasp, and almost smiles (mirroring that slight smile through her sobs in amsterdam). aaron remains impassive.

i believe that this exchange is maybe the MOST important of the episode, second only to eve/villanelle’s semi-sex scene. i also believe that it’s this conversation with aaron that leads villanelle to breaching that last unspoken barrier between her and eve. to be clear, i’m not trying to say villanelle isn’t a psychopath. one revelation does not fifty people un-kill. just a handful of hours before this moment, she murdered gemma with a plastic bag. so i’m not suggesting villanelle is just like any of us. she’s not, eve’s not, and we don’t want them to be. my point is that this moment clarifies a lot for villanelle. she’s been trying to figure out her own capacity for emotion and connection. one thing that she’s considered a fact about herself since before the pilot is that she “wants someone to watch movies with”. she expresses this desire to eve and konstantin with no hesitation; she’s sure, and this becomes a tacit premise in a lot of her reasoning over the whole show. i suspect villanelle doesn’t have any long-term understanding of what that really means, but she wants it anyway. she also plans most of her life around being able to get closer to eve, whether by teasing her or helping her or steering those in eve’s life to create the required conditions for a confrontation.

which is why aaron telling her he has NO need for human contact is such a big deal. because villanelle obviously DOES. she needs it, she wants it, she always has. anna, eve; villanelle develops romances that run deep – even though she’s no longer obsessed with anna by season 1, she still clearly feels a connection to her, and i don’t think she’d have killed her if anna hadn’t killed herself. then there’s konstantin, and she’s a little shit to him, but she definitely missed him, if the way she ran into his arms in 2x03 after being forced to put up with raymond for ten minutes is any indication. villanelle and konstantin have a rapport, and they trust each other (in that they both know each other well enough to guess when they might betray each other, and can account for it accordingly). essentially, until now, villanelle has been running with the equation “aaron = psychopath; me = psychopath; thus, aaron = me”. she’d assumed that part of psychopathy was just the level of human interest she has – which is why she doesn’t have an issue telling eve “like us, you mean”, even though eve has a long-term relationship and friends: that amount of involvement is still realistic for them, right? but aaron doesn’t have this need for people. so now, “aaron =/= me” for villanelle.

crucially, this interaction gives villanelle CONTEXT. rather than dealing in absolutes, she now has a spectrum of psychopathy: “aaron –> me –> eve –> carolyn –> konstantin –> etc.” aaron has inadvertently told her that what she feels is real. maybe she’d almost believed that, seeing as psychopaths can’t feel anything, can only have the “i / it”, that what she experienced was an infatuation or illusion (although this was shaken by eve stabbing her and by crying in amsterdam); but here’s aaron confirming that the idea of fascination with/caring for people has never even occurred to him. and it does NOTHING BUT occur to villanelle. eve runs circles around her head.

let’s look at that in practice. aaron’s most significant relationship is with his sister, who he treats like crap. he’s got her babysat, won’t listen to her opinions (“the grownups are talking, amber”), disrespects a friend she likes, calls her a “thickie”. then villanelle, the closest thing he has to a friend – he watches her without her consent, plays dress-up and stay-still like she’s a doll, tells her what she’s going to do (“spit it out”) and instructs her on how she should feel (“you’ll be bored”). but villanelle? her most important relationship is with eve. and sure, she makes really fucked up choices, but she also makes an effort to consider how eve might feel, what eve might want, what might appeal to her. AND, she’s IMPROVED at that. for example, in 1x03, she kills bill to get eve’s attention, but it’s at the price of hurting her. by 2x07, though, villanelle won’t kill niko. it’s mostly selfish – she doesn’t want eve to be mad at her – but if it were aaron, he’d try and force eve to be un-mad somehow, with money or threats, etc. (not that aaron would bother; he wouldn’t mind if she hated him) villanelle, though, she wants eve to ACTUALLY love her, not to HAVE to love her. villanelle is manipulative, obviously (e.g. telling niko that eve stabbed her to cause a rift between them), but she sees these indirect manipulations as a way to arrange things how she wants (it doesn’t really occur that there might be an alternative), and attempts to course-correct when eve sometimes gets upset. this is huge for villanelle. aaron gives her something NOBODY else can, by being like her, but less like her than she’d believed. the distinction between them might seem minute to viewers who have the full range of emotions/empathy, but for villanelle, that small difference means the world. it means her and eve are REAL, or real enough. martin said, “don’t add, take away”. but aaron proves that that can be true by degrees; villanelle is dotted with minuses, but fewer minuses than aaron. this is set up throughout the episode, kicked off thematically by eve’s question, but compounded by aaron’s consistent use of villanelle like a thing. THIS is an “i / it” dynamic. “stay there, exactly like that”. “wear this”. “these are your clothes now”. “we’re leaving”. “you’ll get ice-cream, and i’ll watch you eat it”. to him, villanelle is a totally disposable puppet. but over and over and over we’ve been shown that this ISN’T how villanelle perceives eve, and that’s definitely cemented in amsterdam, when villanelle breaks down over eve “forgetting” her. 

aaron, like villanelle, has up until this point mistaken them for exactly alike, but they’ve been miscommunicating all along. at lunch, villanelle said, “i dont like rich men” – meaning, i like women, specifically eve, and i have my own resources. aaron counters, “but you like money”. he’s misinterpreted, and thinks villanelle means, like him, that she never wants to have sex or talk with other humans. instead, he concludes that she likes the material object of money, and the subsequent ability to aquire items which might spark some kind of response – and this lines up with villanelle’s later remark about liking to buy and own things, which aaron recognises in himself. they’re replying to each other, but really, they’re having slightly different conversations. so what does this mean, overall? we’ve known forever that villanelle wants eve to be the person she “watches movies with”, but this conversation tells villanelle she could maybe be that person to eve, too. villanelle can “love” in her own unique way, can be present. and because eve’s stepping off the ledge and meeting her in the middle, neither of them will have to be anything other than who they actually are. and they can be who they actually are, together. this analysis got a lot more muddled than i wanted it to, because im a lil wine drunk after haning out with some friends, but i had Thoughts. i have many more Thoughts about the villaneve hookup, hugo, gemma’s death, why aaron is such a creepy villain, carolyn’s plans, etc. but i’ll leave it here for now. i hope this made some sense lmfao.

[klynn-stormz]

Legally Swan Chapter 7

Hey all! It's been way to long since I posted, medical and family issues got in the way for a bit. 

So it's a few days till my birthday and I promised my self that for my birthday I would write another chapter of this, and when I started writing I actually wrote three more chapters! So now I might actually post a few weeks in a row! I hope you all enjoy the chapter!, let me know what you think :)  

AO3: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7

Chapter 7

The next few months seemed to fly by, Emma was studying every moment of every day, Henry was right by her side, though she had him watching soap operas rather than studying law. She knew that she could prove Neal, and everyone that doubted her, wrong; It would take a lot of work and focus, but she could do it. Killian was a lifesaver, they met at least three times a week to study, and somehow that turned into Saturday movie nights and Sunday morning breakfasts as well. Honestly, next to Mary Margaret, whom she saw for regular manicure sessions and weekly lunches, he was her best friend. They had a lot in common from tragic backstories they had yet to share, to same music and movie tastes. She was sure she couldn’t have made it through all of this without him, it would be weird not seeing him when she went home for winter break.

Her favorite day so far had been when she was in Professor Humbert’s class discussing procedures for preparing a case.

“A claim has been filed and you are preparing your case. What is the first thing you need in order to continue the process?” Professor Humbert looked around the class, eyes landing on Emma. “Miss Swan, care to answer?”

Emma’s heart pounded, she could feel her hand begin to sweat and a bead of panic grew in her belly. She knew the answer, the question was whether she could say it without her voice shaking.

“You need evidence.” She answered as confidently as she could muster, there was a tinge of a question in her tone, but she thought she did better than she had thought she would.

The Professor nodded and then encouraged her. “Meaning?”

Oh shoot, she didn’t answer it fully. What was she supposed to say? It was something about support right? Or was it a whole other thing. She got the first part right, she could do this. She just needed to breath through the panic and answer. Oh hell, what if she got it wrong. Everyone here already thought she was a joke, they didn’t need to have confirmation. That’s why she hadn’t been speaking up much. Okay she really needed to talk now. It was talking to long for her to answer. She opened her mouth.

“Meaning you need a reasonable belief that the evidence would support your claim?” This time she couldn’t keep the questioning tone from making a full appearance. Her anxiety was at a full time high. Henry, who came to class with her and sat in her bag at her feet, leaned against her legs for support. There was a pause as the class and the Professor took in her answer. Then he smiled and nodded.

“Well done Miss Swan! Now class…” He continued talking but she had tuned it out. She did it! She had answered the question right, she had gotten both parts right. The rest of class seemed to rush by, she was out of class and in the next one quickly, still reeling from the fact that she had done it. After classes for the day she dropped Henry off at her apartment and texted Killian to meet her at the Rabbit Hole, she got there a little early and was practically bouncing in her seat.

“Swan!” Killian called as he entered the bar. He made his way over to her with a smile. “Your text sounded quite excited, love.”

“You could not tell that from the text.” Emma scoffed.

“Maybe not,” He admitted, his smile not dimming in the slightest. “but I could see you grinning from the entrance Swan, so I think I’ll stick with you inviting me here for good news.”

Emma grinned. “I was called on in class and gave the right answer.”

“Fantastic!” Killian cheered. He sat down, ordered, and insisted she tell him the whole story. Asking for arbitrary details and teasing her the whole way. “I believe we’ll need to toast your victory!”

---

They talked and drank for the next couple hours, keeping the talk away from school after Emma had finished her story, wanting a bit of a break from Law. Emma felt a pleasant buzz after a few drinks, deciding that switching to water might be best. Killian had the same thought, ordering a couple glasses for both of them.

“Time to switch to something much less inhibiting.” He announced, a tipsy leaning toward drunk grin on his face. “Now I believe this is the part of the night for tragic backstories love.”

Emma felt a knot in her gut begin to form, she didn’t know if she was ready for this, but at the same time she felt she could trust him. Maybe she would let him go first and keep her side as vague as possible.

“Alright Captain!” She found out that he had had that nickname in high school being the Captain of the school’s soccer (It’s football Swan!) team. “You first then!”

He smiled softly and sat back, he was probably going to regret this in the morning, but what was a few secrets given to Emma? Maybe he would just stay away from talking about how much he liked her, how he was fairly sure that he could easily fall in love with her, if he was half way there already. How strong he thought she was, and how much she had grown since coming here. If he was being honest with himself, he definitely couldn’t mention how he had never thought he would get over his first love, be able to move on, until he met her. No, best to stay away from all of that, he couldn’t bear to scare her off.

“My life most certainly isn’t that interesting Swan. But I’ll give you the run down anyway.” He threw back the rest of his water as if it were the rum he were so found of, wishing briefly for the burn of alcohol to help. He spoke of the small town in Ireland he was born in, of his older brother Liam and his mum. He told her about his mum’s illness and how she passed away just after he had turned 8. His no-good bastard of a father, leaving Liam and him in the middle of the night, just a few months after, never coming back.

Emma could here in his voice how much he loved Liam as he talked about how his 17-year-old brother took care of him, raised him, fought for custody of him and moved them to America as soon as he was 18 and had full custody of Killian. He talked of his brother joining the American Navy, of moving often but never worrying about that, as he had his brother with him. He spoke of his desire to join the Navy, enlisting on his 18th birthday, wanting to make his brother proud. He grew somber when he talked about Milah, an older woman he had begun a relationship with when he was 20. He talked of her with love and a longing in his eyes that gave Emma an unwanted twinge of jealousy. He spoke of how he had found out Milah was married, but separated from her husband, a prominent lawyer a few states up, telling of how lonely she was.  Their relationship had grown and Killian admitted just how in love he was with her, then it all fell apart. There was a training accident, a bomb that should have been disabled, Killian was too close, Liam was closer. 4 men lost their lives, Liam included, and Killian lost his hand, most of the movement in his arm, and the last of his family. The pain in his voice was nearly unbearable for Emma to hear, but she listened, she sat and listened to all of the pain. To Milah rejecting him in favor of exploring the world as soon as her divorce was finalized, to him finding comfort only in his drink.

Then she could hear hope, the hope as one of his friends dragged him out of the bottle and cleaned him up. They helped him find a purpose again. One of the friends being Professor Graham Humbert, who helped him find his passion in Law. Now at nearly 30 years old he was in his last year of his graduate program with offers from a few different firms and finally in a good place. Finally he could see the light at the end of the tunnel, he had said as he had stared intently into her eyes.They sat in silence for a moment, Emma had never heard someone with as sad of a backstory as his, and yet he seemed so happy and optimistic all the time, it was hard to reconcile the two pieces of him she had now seen.

“Well you certainly underplayed the interest in your life Killian,” She said a last, figuring teasing him would help the melancholy she saw in his eyes.

“Well, maybe it’s because I’ve lived it, but it’s not the worst life there is Swan.” He responded, smiling slightly. “I believe you now owe me a story.”

She began her story, she had meant to pass over the details she preferred not to talk about, being left on the side of the road, while not her fault, was still something that shamed her. Her adoptive family giving her back when she was 3 because they got a real child was also painful. But she began to open up to him, she told him everything, talking about Ingrid changing her life, and even Neal’s assholishness. Then she told him her biggest secret, how much she loved law school and felt like she fit here, that maybe, as scared as she was to admit it, she could see a future here. When she had said that last line she had stared at him hard in turn. They laughed and talked for what seemed like hours, about nothing and everything at the same time. Bonding in a way she had never done with anyone before. When the bar had last call, they made their way into the chill of and autumn night. Killian walked her to her dorm opening the door with a flourish.

“Your home milady, safe and sound as promised.” His exaggerated bow making her roll her eyes and laugh.

“Thank you, Captain.” She grinned as she preforming a small curtsy.

Maybe it was the way her hair was shining like the sun as she laughed, or her eyes sparkling like emeralds when she rolled her eyes, but it made Killian want in a way he hadn’t in a long time. So, he took a chance.

“Ah, but is that all your safe return home is worth to you Swan?” He raised his eyebrow and tapped his lips softly. Her eyes narrowed a slight smile graced her face.

“Please,” Emma scoffed. “you couldn’t handle it.”

He moved closer to her, they were inches apart and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “Maybe you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.”

She lost her breath for a moment, staring into his ocean eyes, then moving to his lips. She moved quickly, grabbing his jacket and yanking him into herself. Their lips met in a clash of want and need. She let herself go for a moment, throwing everything into the moment with him. It was everything she had hoped it would be, and more. Then reality set in, she couldn’t do this now! She couldn’t get involved in something when she was still finding herself, not when she had come so far. She tore her lips away from his, letting her forehead rest on his for mere seconds, listening to their mingled pants.

“That was…” Killian began, his voice now rough with want.

“A one-time thing.” Emma claimed, stepping back and facing the door. “We never mention this again. We can’t.”

As she moved inside her dorm, she heard his soft reply. “As you wish.” And felt her heart beat quicken more, but she kept going.

---

Emma was terrified it would be awkward, that Killian would avoid her or they wouldn’t be the same as they were before. To her everlasting relief, when she saw him two days later, it was almost like it had never happened. Almost. She felt more aware of him now, noticing the way he moved to be closer to her, the way he leaned forward when he talked. She noticed the blue in his eyes brighten when he was happy, they darkened when he was talking about something he was passionate about. He scratched behind his ear when he was nervous, and she found it utterly adorable. Occasionally he would run his had through his dark hair, messing it up and making it fall over his forehead, this happened when he was tired or frustrated. She noticed to much, she knew it, but the kiss had changed everything, and she couldn’t help but file every little quirk away in her mind, and she hated how much she loved all of them. NO, not loved, she couldn’t love. Like. Like was better, she would go with that.

Time moved on, she completed her first semester and went home to spend time with Ingrid for winter. Grateful to be back in the warmth, she spent most of the time outside by the pool updating Ingrid on everything, Henry curled in a ball next to her, also enjoying the sun. Christmas had just passed two days before, she had two weeks before the next semester started up, and she was outside relaxing with Ingrid. The sky was a brilliant blue, reminding her of a certain blue-eyed law student back east. She wasn’t sure what he was doing for winter break, they hadn’t texted since the end of the semester, that was mostly her fault as she had told him how busy she would be (an obvious lie he had let pass). Realizing how much she missed him had been unsettling to say the least, and now, with her thoughts filled with him, she couldn’t resist.

E: Hey, hope your winter break is going good.

K: Swan! I was hoping you would call, I guess text in this case, at some point over the break!

E: Yeah, I was just thinking about school starting soon and wanted to see how you were.

K: No need to be modest Swan, it’s okay to admit that you were thinking about me ;)

E: …Did you really just wink at me through text?

K: Indeed! I can’t very well do it in person right now can I? My break has been going good, I was at a good friends home for Christmas, now it’s just catching up on studies for my final semester. How about yours love, is California treating you and Henry well?

E: I guess winking through text might be better, seeing as you can’t do it in real life any way.

K: Swan! I am hurt!

E: Uh-huh, I totally believe you… My break has been good, mostly just relaxing with my mom, it’s nice to be somewhere warm for Christmas.

They texted through the rest of the day, just talking, and it was nice. Every time he texted it brought a smile to her face, she really enjoyed having him to talk to. He asked about her day, he asked about Henry. And the dog in question had taken a liking to Killian as well, a good sign.

“So, who’s the boy?” Ingrid asked out of the blue, sipping her tea and keeping her eyes on her book.

“There’s no boy!” Emma said, thinking to herself that Killian wasn’t just a boy, he was most definitely a man… Nope couldn’t go down that road. Ingrid simply raised her eye brows and waited. Henry let out a bark at Emma, she looked at him and was sure if he had eyebrows they would be raised as well. Emma was never good at keeping secrets from her mother, so the whole story spilled out rather quickly. Ingrid listened then gave her advice.

“Darling, the man sounds smitten, what are you waiting for?” Causing Emma to sigh.

“I just don’t want to rush into anything mom, look at what happened with Neal! I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Neal was a completely different story, he was immature, didn’t listen to you, only talked about himself and was definitely not the one for you. This Killian sounds like he cares about you, listens to you, and helps you. You have to take a chance on love sweetheart.” Henry barked in agreement.

[carcosuh]

❀ *ﾟ lucy hale. female. she/her. ⇝ hey, isn’t that carcosa lusk? i think that the twenty-five year old from breaux bridge, louisiana works as a bartender, but outside of that they spend a lot of time at henderson. i hear they are self-critical + blunt, but they are also known to be independent + adaptable. consider giving them a visit at their home in desert oasis apartments and get to know why they’re called the phoenix. 

hey, sugar plums !! you can call me ari and i’m very excited to be here ! i can’t wait to read about all of your wonderful muses, as well as introduce you to my three precious hot messes. if you’re interested in plotting with carcosa, please feel free to hit that heart button or slide into my dms at any time !

just a quick heads up: carcosa’s intro is probably gonna be the longest because her backstory is the only one i’ve ever fully written out in great detail, so apologies in advance for the length !!

stats

full name: carcosa odette lusk

nicknames: cars, cosa

height: 5′0

occupation: bartender

relationship status: taken ( in a relationship with CYREK PALLAS-DEXICOS )

date of birth: december 29th

zodiac: capricorn

mbti: infj

ennegram: type one ( the reformer )

alignment: lawful neutral

temperament: melancholic 

positive traits: independent, wise, rational, focused, adaptable

negative traits: self-critical, anxious, blunt, stubborn, misguided

biography

tw for brief mentions of domestic abuse

carcosa was born to norma and marty lusk, a dysfunctional couple that knew more about ripping out each other’s throats than raising a kid. most said norma came out of the womb untamed and vicious; a love for drugs and a terrible temper some of her most memorable traits. marty was just as unpredictable and angry, a devoted member of a feared mc who always seemed to have more redeemable qualities than his wife. they had her young; only keeping her because “abortions were too damn expensive,” as norma would kindly put it. her parents had always been attracted to the outlaw lifestyle, never cut out for the role of law-abiding citizens. breaking the law was more fun than following it, and while marty at least gave some sort of half-assed attempt at cleaning his act up when their little bundle of joy came along, norma didn’t bother. poppin’ the kid out meant going back to business as usual, as far as she was concerned.

by the time carcosa was three, slamming doors and screeching tires were a routine in her home, as well as the occasional visit from law enforcement whenever her parents’ spats pissed off the neighbors. she grew up used to one parent or the other taking off for days at a time after their nastier bouts, always telling herself that they’d come back eventually. though she quickly found herself thankful for the days when it was her mother that had stormed off, realizing how much easier things were when she and her father were left to their own devices. she’d always ask her father why he and norma were still together if all they did was fight, her question always met with a chuckle and something about lawyers costing more than they were worth.

once carcosa hit five, temper tantrums became a common thing whenever it was her father’s turn to leave. she’d wail and sob, begging marty to stay, or at the very least, take her with him. norma despised this, hurt and furious that her own daughter would favor and cling to him. when carcosa spat her first “i hate you” at the age of thirteen, the insult was met with an empty beer bottle to the head, leaving her with a scar just above her right temple. a painful and bitter reminder to never speak those word again. marty took the child for a few days after flying into a rage, promising norma that he’d kill her if she ever touched his kid again. after that, marty did his best to keep carcosa close to him. he took her along wherever and whenever he could, giving her little glimpses into his life with the club. the young teen was fascinated by the rough and tough lifestyle, finding some sort of comfort amongst the leather and rumble of harleys. it was better than being home, and the days when marty left her behind always caused  a riff in their relationship, carcosa left to wrestle with the idea that even still, there were times where her father would pick the boys over her.

at sixteen, carcosa did everything in her power to ensure the fact that she’d be home as little as possible. if she wasn’t out and about or working, then she was with her father or burying her nose between the pages of a book. crime novels and mysteries were her only method of escape when she couldn’t leave the four walls of the lusk home, giving her some sort of solace from the constant battles. it was also at this age that carcosa began to find so much wrong with the life she’d once been so captivated by. she didn’t believe in that “white power” horseshit, didn’t have the same morals (or lack thereof) that some of the members seemed to carry. rolling with an mc was nothing like in her books or movies, but rather a slippery and dangerous slope. she still loved her father and the men he called his brothers, understood that in their line of work you did what you had to do. but by the time eighteen rolled around, carcosa had it sealed in her mind that she wanted better than the lives her parents lead – something that she could be proud of.

life took a turn for the worst at twenty-one. marty lusk had turned himself over to local law enforcement, confessing to several weapons charges, including the trafficking of firearms. carcosa shattered, knowing that the charges stacked against her father ( plus his prior convictions ) meant that it’d be quite some time before she could see him without a wall of glass separating them. she demanded to know why he’d do such a thing. why he’d just give himself up – why he’d leave her, though some small part of her already knew the reason. “i did it for the boys,” was his dignified answer. she was heartbroken and confused, wondering why he’d throw everything away for a god damn club. how could he protect them, but leave her in the dust? perhaps it was never meant that way, but the damage had already been done. just like that, her father had been ripped away from her, leaving her with a junkie for a mother and feeling as if once again, she was only second best when it came to the club.

it’s taken some time, but as of current day, carcosa’s mostly worked through her misplaced anger towards the mc. she forces down the twinge of bitterness, reminding herself that whether she likes it or not, they lost marty too. besides, who has time for resentment when you’re constantly chasing after and cleaning up the messes left behind by your addict of a mother? currently, carcosa works as a bartender in order to make ends meet. despite norma’s blatant disapproval ( and some of her own buried resentment ), she still finds the time to call and visit her father whenever the chance arises. she’d never have the heart to completely cut the old man off, their talks and his occasional words of wisdom sometimes being the only thing that keeps her sane. however, there are times when he asks his daughter for not so small favors pertaining to the club, his loyalty never faltering from behind bars. with reluctance, carcosa finds herself carrying out these deeds, if only to ensure her family stays in the mc’s good graces and marty remains protected while serving out his sentence. but each time she’s asked to get her hands dirty, carcosa runs the risk of ruining the better life she’s so desperately trying to build for herself.

bonus information

after marty’s incarceration, carcosa inherited his old beater of a pickup truck. she may or may not have to sit on something in order to see over the steering wheel, but it’s probably best not to mention it.

she LOVES mystery and true crime novels.

her favorite artist of all time is johnny cash. 

she originally wanted to major in criminal justice or forensic sciences, but with her unstable home life and the majority of the financial responsibilities falling onto her shoulders after her father’s arrest, dreams of community college eventually faded into the background.

i’m dumb and forgot to mention it in her bio, but carcosa and her family moved to nevada when she was twelve. they left the swamps of louisiana and headed for the deserts of nevada so that her father’s mc could build a new charter, with marty’s help of course.

wanted connections

literally any and all connections are welcome for this sweet baby ?? i’ll probably update this later with a few loose ideas on some connections i’d love for her to have, but if something specific popped into your head while reading that MONSTER of a bio, please don’t hesitate to shoot me a message !

[richardmorrisonrealtor-blog]

Why hire Richard Morrison Realtor for buying and selling properties in Vancouver

Richard Morrison Vancouver Realtor

Chances are you may be looking at a few realtors, and have selected Richard Morrison Realtor in Vancouver as a short list of potential agents. There are lots of properties we can easily find around us, but when it comes to buying or selling the same, it is not an easy task at all. You might be a person looking for great property to live for yourself or your family, and you may not be aware of all the costs associated with property acquisition, or how to search for the best location using artificial intelligence, and you may not be fully aware of the due diligence involved to ensure you do not end up with a troublesome property. Of course, these are just some of the issues and important aspects when purchasing real estate in Canada. There are many other issues at hand.

One of the main reason why someone searches for a professional agent is to mitigate these risks and gain strategic advantages. Then why don’t we go and hire the best property dealer to help us in knowing everything about the property, negotiate for us and offer us amazing solutions? The answer is not so simple. With some many real estate agents in Vancouver, it is not an easy solution. It is therefore prudent to make a careful analysis of the real estate agent you are going to hire. It is important to look at the accreditation, experience and knowledge of each realtor you are thinking about selecting. Richard Morrison Realtor, who is a renowned realtor in Vancouver can help you to crack the best deal no matter what you are looking for exactly- condos, great single family home for you and your family, a commercial space or anything else, just connect with the Richard and his team to gain great benefits. There are a number of reason to choose Richard as opposed to other agents. Let’s explore them below:

Why Richard Morrison Realtor?

This is the personality you can’t find anywhere else and has 17+ years of experience in the very same domain and can impress you with the best property ideas. You can also check Richard Morrison Realtor reviews online to know how effective and amazing personality he is and how he has offered great solutions to the people who were looking for buying and selling a property. He and his group can easily meet the requirements of all and that is why the firm is approached not by the national clients, but worldwide clients who are looking to invest in Vancouver, love to connect with him.

So, you can also go with the Richard Morrison Vancouver Realtor and find out the best deal will be there for a lifetime.

Richard Morrison Realtor Reviews

Richard Morrison realtor in Vancouver is a family owned business. He was formerly an accountant with Deloitte, and it is where he learned the art of selling and buying properties.

The investment industry, he explains, is the only industry that will be around for some time, he says, and while most people today understand its importance and value, there is still a need to learn more about this field. And since Vancouver has become the second largest metropolitan area in Canada, the demand for buying and selling real estate is not shrinking as fast as other cities. In fact, it is expanding.

As a Vancouver based realtor, Richard Morrison is in a unique position to make a living doing what he loves. But as he and his family take in two new additions to their four-bedroom home, and two well-kept horses for sale, his focus is less on helping people buy and sell real estate. He's thinking about it more like a business. He will have to decide how much time to devote to that part of his life.

It has been over four decades since Vancouver's and BC’s economy began to boom. Since then, more people have flocked to the city, attracted by its tax rebate on income, its second largest social program (after health care), and its excellent schools. People want to live here, work here, and raise their families here.

That's not to say the financial state of the Vancouver economy hasn't had any effect on Richard Morrison Realtor's career as a consultant. Vancouver was one of the first Canadian cities to use municipal bonds as collateral for loans. Since it does not use the full faith and credit system as it does in most states, it has to trust the banks that borrow from there. They have seen many a bank collapse over the years, and today, with all of the uncertainty in the country, they are even more cautious.

"Most banks are reluctant to make loans to any business," Morrison says. This type of lending may be temporary, he explains, but the interest rates have fallen drastically. With this more relaxed lending criteria, more local buyers and sellers are finding their way into the Metro Vancouver real estate market.

A Vancouver realtor, like any other person or business, needs to know where to go to sell his or her property. "People find it difficult to come here and buy because they don't know where to go and who to talk to." Vancouver's property listings on the MLS (multi-level list) are huge. There are now almost as many listings in Vancouver as there are listings in Los Angeles.

One of the biggest advantages to buying and selling properties in Vancouver is that there are so many different kinds of people who call the city home. There are new immigrants, retirees, single parents, stay at home moms, realtors, lawyers, doctors, accountants, nurses, executives, tech professionals, artists, musicians, college students, people who are single and are looking for work, and plenty of others.

Many of these different hobbies and careers come into play in the home. For example, a single mom might have an executive office with a work desk and a computer for her professional work. She has her children in the play room with computer game systems and television sets, and in the bedroom, she has her "office," a coffee table, side tables, computer accessories, and her "work space" of clothes, jewelry, and shoes.

Many of the world's elite live in the luxury style housing that is available in Vancouver. There are homes on award winning streets, beautiful master suites, sprawling gardens, and access to the local beaches and parks. And the price of these homes is affordable, with prices starting as low as $800,000.

There are people who can't help themselves, as they move into this "new town," and they bring with them their different cultures, tastes, ethnicities, and lifestyles. and most of the people are happy to mix with all of them.

As a Vancouver realtor, Richard Morrison believes his job is to give buyers, sellers, and renters in Vancouver, and Canadians across the country, as well as the rest of the world, access to the different homes, properties, and services that are available for sale. - and he hopes to do this for a long time to come.

Questions to Ask a Realtor Before Committing to Their Services

A Vancouver realtor's job is to find you the best properties for your specific needs. One of the things you will want to be sure to ask about before you commit to a buyer is if the home is fully furnished. If you do not like the look of the home, you do not have to be in a hurry to move in, but you want to be sure you have a place that you can call your own. This is why Richard Morrison Realtor has placed a few guiding queries below to answer your questions.

Once you do find a home that you feel is right for you, having a good Vancouver realtor will ensure that you get the best price from the seller. In addition, a good Vancouver realtor will guide you through the entire process of buying and selling. They are great at helping you avoid common mistakes, as well as ensuring that you are on the right track in making your purchase.

There are many places to look for a good Vancouver realtor. The most obvious one is the phone book. When you do go to their office, make sure that they have an online presence as well. This will help you find them quickly should you have questions or concerns about how to find them.

Another source of information for finding a good Vancouver realtor can be the local MLS listings. When you use these, the agent will have access to more options. Since this is their area of expertise, they will have all of the listings that they can find.

The Internet is also a great way to find a great realtor. With the advent of social media, you will be able to see the realtor's previous clients. You can then go online and check out other listings in your area to see if you feel comfortable dealing with them.

A third resource to use when looking for a good realtor is the Better Business Bureau. Here you will be able to look up complaints against them. This will give you a great idea of how the realtor you are interested in handling your purchase has been. Not only will you want to be sure that you are dealing with a reputable company, but you want to be sure that you are dealing with a company that is going to work hard to make your purchase go smoothly.

So, now that you know where to look, what questions should you ask? First of all, you want to make sure that the home is listed with MLS. This is where you will get access to the different properties that are listed for sale. You will want to see if the property is currently for sale, or if it is just vacant. This will help you determine the asking price.

Secondly, you want to ask about the selling process. How long does it take to sell the property? Will the seller come out to view the home? These are all great questions to ask.

Third, you want to check to see if there are any liens on the property. This is something that should never be overlooked. If there are, they can be something that you need to work out with the seller. For example, a mortgage or a tax lien could prevent the seller from being able to come out to inspect the property.

Finally, you want to ask about pricing. What price are they asking for the property? Are they in need of a down payment? In addition, you want to ask if the listing agent has any special deals, and whether or not they will be taking on any financing.

All of these questions are important part of the process of buying and selling. All of them will give you a sense of whether or not the seller is as serious as they say they are. Be sure to pay attention to the answers you get and make sure that you are working with a person who really wants to find you the right property for your needs.

Richard Morrison Real Estate: Reliable and Professional Realistic

Richard Morrison Real Estate is the real estate brokerage offering properties in all urban center’s and suburbs of the Province of British Columbia. Richard Morrison has over the years been helping buyers, sellers and the whole community to realize their dream property. For more than one hundred years, Richard Morrison Real Estate Company has been making sure that the buying and selling process are smooth.

Richard Morrison Real Estate Company has been operating since 1888. Their reputation in this field of real estate has become well-known among sellers and buyers. Now they are famous as the leader in Vancouver real estate.

For years, this company was known for its dedication and pioneering work in buying and selling properties in Canada. In this regard, they were the first to take the initiative and set up a headquarters in this country. Their business activities have helped many people to get their dream house.

In Canada, the real estate industry is based on the chain of property offices. This means that this firm was among the first to open a real estate office in Vancouver. Richard Morrison Real Estate is now known for its achievements in Vancouver real estate.

Richard Morrison Real Estate is now recognized for the quality of services it provides to the sellers, buyers and tenants. In addition, they offer its clients the comfort of convenience when dealing with a reputed and established firm. Richard Morrison Real Estate is also famous for its innovative ideas in land development projects and methods in commercial property leasing.

Richard Morrison Real Estate Company has given its name to its business because of its philosophy. It strives to give the best services for its clients depend on the reputation of this firm. This is why, Richard Morrison Real Estate is one of the most trusted and well-known real estate firms in this city.

Richard Morrison Real Estate Company has become more popular because of its efforts in the investment process and its close association with the community. Its clients not only have the advantage of a wide selection of properties, but they also have the satisfaction of living with the support and expertise of this real estate company. Through its close association with the community, they are able to come up with innovations that would help boost the life of its clients.

Richard Morrison Realtor is now leading the way in Vancouver real estate. Because of its efficient and trustworthy services, this company is now established as one of the leaders in the real estate market. Richard Morrison Realtor is also known for the flexibility of its concepts and methods in buying and selling properties.

Richard Morrison Realtor Reviews has been opening its doors to the clients from all over the world. So far, this firm has welcomed people from Australia, Austria, Canada, China, Germany, India, Israel, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, South Africa, Switzerland, USA, United Kingdom and the rest of the world. Because of their popularity, the firm now offers free appraisals to its clients.

These services would not only make sure that the buyer or the seller will find the property he was looking for, but it would also help to give him an idea of the cost of the property that he would be investing in and the price range it would have. This is why, the property appraiser would be giving his suggestions about the costs.

This is why, the expert would be asked about the amenities of the property. The rooms of the property, the characteristics of the property, and the condition of the property would all be questioned. Also, it would be talked about the cost of improvements that the owner wanted to make to the property.

Many a times, the clients are not informed about the price of the property before the sale of the property takes place. This is why, they would need to check if the seller is really being sincere with his estimates. In any case, the appraisal can be used as a reference for future negotiations would also be helpful in getting a good deal for both the seller and the buyer.

Check Out the Market For Metro Vancouver BC Real Estate

Richard Morrison’s Vancouver realtor who is well known in the industry. He is a member of the Real Estate Board of Greater Vancouver and was recently featured on the local news with a story about an extremely high value of one of his homes. Morrison is also the Vancouver Branch President of the National Association of Realtors and was recently nominated for the "Vacant Store Of The Year" award.

Morrison works with different properties from private buyers to those looking to invest. He has also worked with commercial properties. He believes that there is a great market for buying homes and businesses both. Here are some tips that Morrison offers to those who may be interested in investing in Vancouver real estate.

First, one of the reasons that the market is so good for investors is that there is a lack of inventory in Vancouver real estate. Most investors want to purchase their first property and have access to the types of properties that they are looking for at very low prices. This is great for those that are buying or selling, but may not be ideal for private developers.

Another reason why the market is so strong is because of the desire for families. The rates in this market are much lower than other areas of the United States. There are many properties for sale for below market value, which appeal to people looking to build equity for their children.

Another reason why the market is so good for families is that there are more properties available for the young couples to buy. Also, there are now more options for those looking to buy a condo than there were when this market started. For people looking to rent out their Vancouver condos, this is another reason that the market is so attractive.

Morrison also says that this is a good time to buy real estate because the economy is slowing down. Though, most realtors agree that it is still a good time to buy or sell real estate because the economy has not hit rock bottom yet. This means that there are plenty of properties available for people to purchase.

One of the best benefits to buying a property in Vancouver is that the properties will increase in value. It is almost like having your own piece of property right in the heart of the city, that you may spend a lot of time in. The trend seems to be upward and so buyers are able to get a better return on their investment.

One of the reasons that the market is so strong is because there is a lack of inventory in Vancouver real estate. Most people that are looking to buy properties are hoping to get a bargain. This is especially true for those that are looking to sell their property in the downtown core area.

Another reason that the market is so strong is because there are more properties available for the buyers to buy. There are condos available in the area that people are not able to purchase in the past. This gives those who are purchasing to buy properties a great option to choose from.

Morrison says that there is a great demand for homes in Vancouver as the market is still very competitive. There are many buyers who are in the market for a new home and they are not going to wait until the last minute for it. This is great for those that are looking to buy a home.

If you are looking to buy a home or sell a property in Vancouver real estate, this is an excellent time to do so. There are a lot of properties for sale. There are also many opportunities for investors to make money if they are willing to work hard and put forth the effort to get their business off the ground.

For a new home to be built, the federal government does offer tax incentives to encourage people to build new homes. There are other incentives that can be obtained from the city of Vancouver to improve a property that is not up to code. standard, so it is in the buyer's best interest to look around to see what options are available.

Luxury Homes in Vancouver, BC

Vancouver luxury homes are excellent examples of world-class architecture. They have the look and feel of a home in Europe, as well as the distinctive charm of the great cities of Europe. They are called Vancouver condos because they are residential properties, like apartments or houses, which are available to people living in the surrounding area, without the need for them to be tied down to one location. Condos are a great way to invest in the future of your home, whether you want to rent it out, live in it for years, or even build your own little village on the property.

Homeowners in Vancouver enjoy living in a beautiful city that has been described as "The Beverly Hills of Canada". It is also the dream setting for many young couples who are drawn to the beautiful sandy beaches, world-class entertainment venues, and peaceful ambiance of the city.

For these reasons, Vancouver homes and condos are the perfect investment for those looking to move to Vancouver, BC. In addition to the fantastic value in the market, there are also a number of facilities and amenities in the area, including international hotels and shopping centres.

In addition to homes in Vancouver, you will find many other types of luxury homes. One of the most common in the area is the high-rise condo. These properties feature larger, more lavish suites, and they are popular among the wealthy and well-to-do.

With hundreds of thousands of square feet of space, these high-rise homes are truly luxurious, and the open floor plans allow for business and leisure spaces. Many of these residences have swimming pools, fitness centers, private landscaped yards, and other amenities that can make even the busiest of executives and business owners very happy. If you are searching for a luxurious home to call your own, you will be hard-pressed to find one with more amenities than this variety of luxury homes.

If you are looking for the American dream, you will be happy to know that you are in good company when you move to Canada. The Canadian cities of Toronto and Vancouver, BC are both world-renowned for their astounding diversity, creative culture, and vast national parks.

When you move to Canada, you will find that there are so many other possibilities for an outdoor adventure that you probably won't even know where to begin. It seems that wherever you look, you are guaranteed to find the perfect spot to enjoy the great outdoors. If this is your first time moving to the country, you will be delighted to discover that there are endless opportunities for outdoor adventure.

In Canada, there are literally thousands of acres of undeveloped wilderness that offers a thrilling experience. Whether you would like to fish, hunt, hike, bird-watch, bike, climb, ski, snowshoe, play tennis, go boating, or simply enjoy the stunning scenery and fresh air, you are sure to find an experience that is enjoyable and that will not cost a fortune.

In Canada, there are mountains that are nothing short of stunning. From towering peaks and majestic valleys, the mountains of the Canadian Rockies are absolutely breathtaking. To see these majestic mountains is to know that you are a part of something that cannot be forgotten.

Travelling can be an exhausting and expensive proposition, but once you travel a long way in comfort and style, you might not even remember that you did it. This is the beauty of life in Vancouver, BC, where there are so many luxurious homes for sale that you can find any combination of lifestyle you could ever want. You will never have to sacrifice the good life for anything less than what you deserve.

Vancouver, BC is definitely a unique city in Canada. It is just as unique to its residents as it is to the people who live in it. There is simply no way to get from point A to point B in this fabulous city without being amazed at the rich culture, rich history, and, of course, its amazing architecture.

In fact, if you wish to live in a region of the world that is as culturally diverse as Canada, the Pacific Northwest might be the ideal place for you. Vancouver luxury homes, in particular, are built to perfection to accommodate the high standards of style and comfort expected of luxury homes in Canada.

For more information about Richard Morrison Realtor, contact them today. They can help you find the right property for your budget. and take the stress out of buying and selling.

Name: Richard Morrison Vancouver Homes Address: 3103 Kingsway #209 Vancouver, BC V5R 5J9 Phone: (778) 900-2235

[smol-gay-werewolf]

Obsession in the blood

I watch him carefully, just look at him! With his fancy suit and his golden hair, no wonder the  female student body has a crush on him (Bar the lesbians and a-spec people). But not the men, oh no, that's my forte. Well obviously not the ones that don't swing that way but that's a given. Either way I'm the dark shadow figure that's caught the minds (and hearts) of most males in this school.

The one I want however, is just out of reach. When me and Tamaki sat down together he, knowing of my preferences decided that in order to keep the club professional, all members wouldn't be allowed to date each other. Although know he's regretting that since now he can't be with Haruhi. That's what I want to talk to him about, abolishing that rule. So I can date the person I like and so he can be with Haruhi. It's a foolproof plan, so I thought anyway...

When I ask him about it after the club, he refuses, declaring that all the rules he laid out were for good reason and to stop this exact thing from happening. I try bringing Haruhi up but he ignores me and even goes so far as to call me 'unprofessional' can you believe it??

So I guess I'll have to take matter into my own hands, and by that I mean a little friend of mine. I phone her up and manage to strike a deal, if I can help her get rid of her ex then she'll we if she can patch me through to an old friend of hers. The world renowned personal investigator known only as 'info-chan'.

It's easy to convince the club to take a holiday to the quaint little town of Acidemi, it's an odd name but it is famous for its school and the murders that took place. When we arrive and check into our hotel I tell them I'm going for a walk, I manage to spot the man in the park. My cousin's ex; Taro Yamada.

I approach him and pretend to be lost, I ask him to show me to the nearest commoners ramen shop, which I know is down an alleyway. He politely agrees, this is turning out to be rather easy. While we walk I notice that he seems to be walking rather close to me, I begin to find it odd that he'd agree to show a stranger somewhere through an alley especially in a place known for murders. At least I know that he won't kill me but I have no real knowledge on who this man is. This night have been a bad deal, am I really willing to do all this just for Kaoru? He might not even like me back, I suppose obsession runs in my blood.

It's when we're halfway down the alley that I choose to strike, it seems he's had the same idea as I soon find myself pinned to a wall. I'm not exactly the strongest of people, I was counting on the element of surprise to be my aid. I stare at him with wide eyes, still completely committed to playing innocent. "S-sir? What are you doing?"

He chuckles and raises an eyebrow at me. "You really think that's gonna work on me, do ya Ootori?" I blink at him, unsure as to how he knows my name. He appears to have read my mind as he then replys: "Oh we know all about you young man, three missing persons reports and two cases to premeditated murder. All sources point to you. Anything to say for youself?"

It appears my innocent act held no ground, he had evidence that I was far from innocent. But how on earth did they know it was me? And why confront me now? I was so close... I'm lost for words but still manage to choke out a few. "Why- Why now..?" He sighs and his face displays genuine pity. "Look kid, I don't like this any more then you do but you've done some very bad things and those things do have consequences."

He gives me a kind smile and takes out some hand cuffs. A cop, I should have known... I don't protest when he handcuffs my wrists. He looks down at me again. "I'm sure they'll get you a good lawyer and you can get out of this with a minimum of two years, maybe even one. It depends on the judge." He does his best to comfort me as he leads me to the station even though he's fully aware that I just tried to kill him.

Sitting in the detention centre I have to ask him. "Was- Was Ayano in on this?" He shakes his head and mumbles something like: "I wondered why you went after me..."

[imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul]

Yours - Chapter Three

Chapter Three : Back to Work

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader Synopsis: Rafael and the reader end their honeymoon and get back for the case of Carl Rudnick. Based around S17.E1, “Devil’s Dissection” Hope you enjoy! (As always, some of the dialogue is taken directly from the episode) Word Count: 2,423 Tags: @sergeantdodds , @gibbs274 , @standing-in-a-downpour, @sweetsummertime99, @amelia-save-me, @cumberbabe92, @evs41u, @jayzayy, @juliie-isabel, @s0meb0dy-0ncet0ldme

Previous Chapter

“So what’s the poison for our first day back?” Rafael asked, attaching the cufflinks you bought him to his dress shirt. You took in a deep breath from the kitchen table and looked up at him. 

“They found a dead body in Yates’ burial ground.” Rafael sighed as he slipped on his jacket. You stood up and slipped on your own leather jacket. “Welcome back, right?”

“Wouldn’t have imagined it any other way.” He kissed you softly and smiled. “Keep me updated.”

“Love you,” you said as he walked towards the door.

“Love you, too, cariño.” As the door shut, you put your dishes in the washer and got your keys and badge.

When you got to the precinct, Carisi spun around with a smile. He had a cup of coffee in his hand and held it out for you.

“What’s this for?” you asked, taking it with a smile. 

“A welcome back present.”

“Thank you.” You sat at your desk for the first time in a few weeks and took a drink of your coffee. “So, catch me up on this Yates case.”

“Possible Yates case,” Amanda said, walking into the room. “Good to see you, Y/N.”

“Probable Yates case,” Fin said, coming out of Liv’s office. “Welcome back, Y/N.”

“Thanks, guys. Catch me up on this case.”

“Absolutely,” Fin said, “We’re gonna need all the help we can get.” As they started explaining the body they found, and Yates’ tip, Liv walked out of her office. 

“Hey, Sergeant,” you said.

“Hey, welcome back. How was the honeymoon?” You glanced over at Amanda, who looked as if she felt the question was out of place, too, and then back at Olivia.

“Good. Sounds like you could use an extra hand, though.”

“We could. Come down to the M.E.’s office in about an hour. Amanda, you too.”

“Why?” Amanda asked.

“We’ve got two people to catch up on this case,” Liv said, sending a small smile your way. You looked down at your cup with a smile.

“Rafael,” Liv said, walking into his office. Rafael looked up from the file he was reading and smiled. He stood up and Olivia gave him a hug. “Welcome back.”

“It’s good to be back. Although, I’d prefer different circumstances.”

“Wouldn’t we all. I’m having Y/N and Rollins meet us down at the M.E.’s office. But I thought I could catch you up on the way there as best I could.”

“Sounds good,” Rafael said, taking his jacket off the back of his chair.

“And I’m sure you would like to see your wife,” Olivia said with a teasing smile. Rafael chuckled and nodded.

“I really would.”

Carl Rudnick explained the decomposition of the body to you and Amanda as you stood in the chilly examiner’s room. Amanda looked a little bit green, and you couldn’t blame her. Amanda said she was fine as she turned away from the body. You went over to her just as the door opened. 

“Dr. Rudnick, Rollins, Dodds.”

“A sergeant and an A.D.A. at an autopsy. Should I be nervous? Oh, and Sergeant Benson, I believe it is Barba now if I’m not mistaken,” Rudnick said, looking over at you. You smiled slightly and nodded. “Congratulations are in order.”

“Not here,” Rafael said firmly, walking up to the doctor. “Can you tell us anything?”

“An autopsy like this is an enigmatic puzzle. The body was cut, broken, and tied with an electrical cord to fit in the suitcase. It had to be uncurled, X-Rayed, rehydrated-”

“Start at the beginning,” Rafael interrupted as he walked closer to Rudnick, sparing one glance your way. “Age. Cause of death.”

“She was a white female. From her teeth, I’d guess about twenty-five. 5′6″. In good physical health.”

“Cause of death?” Olivia asked again.

“The skull was fractured, but I believe the cause was strangulation. The hyoid was also fractured. The body was wrapped in a blanket. The dry heat and smoke from the common chimney effectively mummified the remains, and she was in situ for over a decade most likely.

“How is it she was discovered?” Rudnick asked.

“Actually it was a tip from Yates,” Olivia said.

“Dr. Yates? Is it a tip or a confession?”

“Is this another one of his?” Rafael asked as you walked over to his side. 

“I noted no nail polish. But the incisions do show evidence of medical technique. And the fractured skull is not inconsistent with Yates’ MO.”

“But strangulation is, and the victim was a redhead,” Amanda cut in.

“Yes, so was Rache Groves. I”ll need to do a thorough examination. So far, I’ve found no trace of the killer’s DNA. Which is also not inconsistent with Yates’ MO.”

“Thank you, Dr. Rudnick,” you said, walking out of the examiner’s room. The group followed, with Rafael right behind you. 

“’Also not inconsistent with Yates’ MO,’“ Olivia repeated.

“That’s M.E. talk for Yates did it, but don’t quote me.”

“Yates is appealing his conviction. Why would he tip us off to another victim? He’s sick, but he’s not stupid.”

“Because he’s sick, Amanda,” you said.

“I know,” she said, glaring at you. “I know him better than anyone, though. This just doesn’t seem like something he would do.”

“Rollins, all due respect-”

“Don’t start a sentence that way,” Amanda interrupted, cutting Rafael off.

“Fine,” he said, turning to face her. “If Yates didn’t do it then how did he know that body was there?” Amanda shook her head and scoffed, walking out of the hallway. You sighed and glanced at Rafael.

“She’s my ride back.” You leaned up and kissed his cheek quickly, before walking back down the hallway.

“Bye, babe,” he said plainly, looking over at Olivia.

“It’s good to see you so happy.” Rafael smiled and looked down at his loafers.

“I’d feel a lot happier if we got this case wrapped up.”

“Agreed.” 

Later that afternoon, after talking with Yates, Amanda and Olivia discovered that the only way Yates was going to talk was if he got conjugal visits with his girlfriend. So, they called you on their way down to send you to meet with her, and make sure she was okay with it. 

Showing up late to Rafael’s office that night, you found that Olivia and Amanda were already there.

“Oh, hey,” you said, stealing a glance over at Rafael who looked irritated but happy to see you. “I just texted you guys. Susie is okay with the conjugal visits.” Rafael sighed and looked up at you from his laptop.

“Yates wants to touch his fiance?” he asked. You looked over at Amanda and Olivia, and it was clear that they had not yet told him this shimmering aspect of the case. “Hasn’t he touched enough women already?” he asked looking back at Olivia.

“Look, they’ve been together for twenty years. He’s never hurt Susie.”

“And she’s okay with conjugal visits?” he asked, looking back at you. You sat down next to Amanda and smiled uncomfortably. 

“Yes. She is really okay with them.”

“Every pot has a lid,” Amanda said. 

“Lovely. You do realize how this would look if word got out, right? Yates is already on the hook for multiple rapes and murder,” Rafael said, glaring at Amanda. “Now he wants to trade crime tips for conjugal visits.”

“If Yates is telling the truth, there could be another serial out there,” Amanda said.

“And thus far Yates hasn’t led us wrong,” you said.

“No, he’s just led Rollins in a roundabout way.” 

“Pick your poison, counselor,” Olivia said, standing up. Rafael groaned.

“Fine. Bring the fiancee upstate. Let them conjugate, and then interrogate both of them afterward. You better be right about this, Rollins.” She looked uncomfortable and stood up. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Amanda said, looking at you.

“Night.” They both walked out the door and you looked over at Rafael.

“Great day back, eh?” you asked. He blew air out of his nose and shook his head.

“I’m gonna have to stay late, okay?”

“On your first day back?”

“Yes. There’s a lot to catch up on. You should probably be doing the same.”

“Excuse me?” you asked, growing tired of his short responses.

“I just meant-”

“Nope. I got it. Keep working.” You stood up and walked out of his office, and headed home. 

When Rafael got back to the townhouse at eleven that night, he was ready to swallow his pride. His ideal first day back didn’t involve pissing off his newlywed wife. The lights were off, except for the lamp by the front door. He dropped his keys and his coat and took the steps two at a time up to your room. 

You were asleep in bed when he opened the door. You slept furthest away from the door, and your back was turned. As Rafael walked across the room, he thought he saw a slight blink of red light, but when he looked near the TV, he saw it was only from the receiver.

Your hair was in a sloppy ponytail, and the moon was hitting your face in such a way that it glowed. Rafael stripped down until he was wearing only his undershirt and boxers, and crawled in next to you. 

He hadn’t realized how tired he was until his skin hit the sheets. He rolled over on his side and knew that his movement had woken you up. You sighed and he touched your waist.

“I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t fully asleep anyway. You know I can’t seep without knowing you’re next to me anymore.” He smiled softly, but sadness also crept into his heart at your words.

“I don’t mean about coming home late.” You rolled over and propped your head upon your hand. “Although I am sorry about that.”

“Then what are you sorry for?”

“You’re gonna make me work for it, aren’t you?” You smiled and shrugged.

“I didn’t marry a lawyer for nothing. But I definitely didn’t marry him to have him scold me when I just wanted to spend our first evening back together.” 

“I know,” he said, pulling on the t-shirt of your pajamas gently. “I’m just stressed.”

“It’s our first day back, Rafa.”

“I know,” he said with a smile. “There’s just a lot riding on this. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, though. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know.” Rafael laughed and you scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead. Your legs intertwined, and his hairy ones brushed against your smoother ones. “I’m sorry I stormed out.”

“That’s okay. It was probably the best thing to do. I can be a real-”

“Grouch,” you completed. Rafael laughed and you squeezed him tighter. “Don’t worry, it’s one of the reasons I married you.”

“How was your morning?” Rafael asked, walking up the steps to his office with you in sync.

“I got to listen to Yates and his fiancee have sex in a trailer, so that was . . .” Rafael looked at you and cringed and you laugh. “Yeah. But the worst thing is that my husband left the house wearing this awful tan suit.”

“Sounds like a real piece of work,” Rafael said, smiling. He pushed open the door to his waiting room and smiled at Carmen. He glanced over into his office and saw that the entire SVU squad was already waiting in there. He looked over at you and tilted his head just slightly. 

“Oh, and, um, Yates said that Carl Rudnick killed Lena Grunwald.” Rafael opened the door into his office and looked at you in shock. 

“Accusing the Deputy Chief M.E. of rape and murder?” he asked, walking into his office.

“I thought it might be best to soften you up first,” you said quietly. 

“And they offered this conspiracy theory right after their conjugal visit.”

“Yeah, I know,” Amanda said.

“He worked you two,” Rafael said, disgusted.

“Or the fiance worked us,” Fin said. “Give Yates points. That’s a bold move.”

“I’m sorry, you all were right. I was wrong,” Amanda said.

“You’re not entirely to blame, Rollins. We could have stopped you just as easily, too,” you said, giving her a little bit of sympathy.

“Thanks, but-”

“Hold on, Rollins,” Carisi said, standing up. “Now, look, I’m still only mid-search, but there was a Lena Grundwald from Switzerland who went to Columbia at that time. Now, as far as I can tell, she never graduates, she just disappears off the grid in winter of 2002.”

“You actually looked into this?” Rafael asked, dumbfounded. You went over to stand by his side and touched his shoulder gently.

“Yeah, Counselor, I did. Because if Yates is taking a flyer for an appeal, then we have to rule this out.” Everyone looked around the room, impressed with Sonny’s work. You smiled softly at him and he continued. “Now I’m still new here, but how well do you guys know Carl Rudnick?”

“He got here right before you did,” Olivia said. “He came out of Miami-Dade, I think.”

“Carisi’s right,” Rafael said, somewhat reluctantly. “Yates is looking to overturn his conviction. Did Rudnick ever mention that he went to medical school with Yates?”

“No, he didn’t,” Amanda said.

“So what if he did? Yates kidnapped, raped, tortured, and murdered Nadia. He is guilty. The only reason he’s bringing up conflicting evidence is for his appeal,” Olivia exclaimed.

“Still, if they did know each other, then Rudnick should have recused himself,” Carisi said.

“That’s easy enough to confirm. Then while you’re at it, see if Rudnick has any connection to the townhouse in Harlem, or if he even knew this supposed fiance of Lena Grunwald.” 

The squad started to leave the room, but you followed last. Rafael let out a sigh, and you could tell that he was already thinking about opening that bottle of bourbon in his drawer.

“Hey, I know this sucks,” you said. “And if it’s true, it means a mountain of work for you, for us, but we need to look into it.”

“I know,” Rafael said with a sigh. You went over to him and kissed him, keeping hold of his arms. 

“I love you, and I have to go.”

“Okay. Wait, do you really hate this suit?” he asked. You nodded in exaggeration. 

“Oh, it’s fucking awful.” Rafael rolled his eyes and went back over to his desk. 

“Alright. Get outta here.”

“Bye,” you said, opening the door.

“Love you.” You winked at him through the windows in response.

[serialfirstdater]

Do I Have a Type??

A close friend of mine brought up something recently when we were messaging each other back and forth on Instagram about dating, boys, the usual. 

“I don’t know what your type is,” she said. 

I asked her if she was sure. Were there no commonalities with any of the guys I’ve previously dated? She could only give me descriptors of my most recent ex (The Property Lawyer), which obviously did not match the ex before that (The Ex-Actor, whom I never really gave a name to prior on this blog but I’m doing it now for simplicity sakes).

Although she said this in passing, the thought stuck around in my mind. The following day, I visited another friend and caught her up on my dating adventures this past month. She too also said, I didn’t really have a type.

This got me thinking some more as I reflected back on both my exes (minus the shitty first one that I am not gonna even bother including because he was a mistake) and the guys I have been interested in this past month that were also interested in me. 

I’m a fan of lists. So, I’m gonna list out each ex’s qualities and their physical attributes. 

Exes

The Ex-Actor (Second Ex)

Physical Attributes: 5′10, normal body, baby-face, boyish charms, the only Caucasian on this list whilst everyone else is Chinese.

Personality/Qualities: Selfless, generous, agreeable, realist, a listener, slight goofball, lovable, introverted, thoughtful, and doting. Can be awkward upon first meet though lol.

Interests: History, space, camping, and indie pop.

Notes: I have to point out that this relationship always had an expiry date since he asked me out after I applied for my Australian visa. Therefore we never got too deep. So, it’s hard for me to point out the flaws in him because when we were dating, he had none. I was happy to spend time with him, doing whatever. He was the first person to truly give me what I always wanted in a relationship. Til this day, I still have a very soft spot for him. I tell everyone, he’s probably the only person that can potentially deter me from my future plans (unless we properly date and realize we are actually incompatible). However, a part of me don’t think so and I feel like he was the one I let go and my heart still never fully healed after 2.5 years. I plan to treasure the necklaces and card he gave me forever.

(From Future Me: I originally drafted this post up about 3-4 weeks ago. I tried shooting my shot with the Ex-Actor two weeks ago and he never replied. Although I was bummed, I had a feeling he was respecting the current relationship that he is in and didn’t want to complicate things. I respect that and honestly him not answering was enough of an answer for me. I no longer have to fantasize about what-ifs and torture myself over and over with the spirals of my thoughts. I didn’t know if he was still seeing someone hence why I reached out. His best friend/my friend later confirmed he’s still with his girlfriend (which I assumed was the case). I feel that a weight has lifted and I am in a much better spot mentally now. I honestly couldn’t get him out of my head from October 2020 to the beginning of June 2021. And yes, I was thinking of him when I was still with the Property Lawyer. I didn’t want to be but sometimes the mind works in funny ways and you just gotta deal. Either way, I hope he’s incredibly happy cause he deserves it). 

The Property Lawyer (Third and latest Ex)

Physical Attributes: 6′, normal body weight (though previously ripped in his younger days), could be a side-character in some Chinese historical drama if he wanted to be looks-wise without his glasses (but my friend said he’s goofy-looking LOL).

Personality/Qualities: Extroverted, enthusiastic, entertainer, creative, generous, always affirming, low-pain tolerance, messy, wishy-washy, selfish, afraid to wastes time, easily stressed, doesn’t like when things are seemingly difficult, and one of my friends thought he had a subtle cocky vibe to him. 

Interests: Magic, singing, playing instruments (guitar, piano, drums), creating films, hanging out with friends, and acting.

Notes: The Property Lawyer always made sure to take care of me throughout the entire relationship. He was happy to give me whatever I wanted (though by this point, it was no longer as new to me because of the Ex-Actor). Since we were long-distance for 1.5 years out of the 1 year 9 months we were together, we never got the full experience of dating each other. However, I did get to see his flaws here and there (hence the bigger list of negative traits) but it never really blew up until the very end when he broke up with me. Despite the way things ended, he still made sure to take care of the things that were most important to me because he knew what he was signing up for when he started to date me. (So bless his heart for sending all my things back and paying $4k for it). He was easily irritated and I did see that show up when we were trying to sort how to get my things back.

My Analysis Between Both Exes

I realized in the shower one day that the key difference between the two exes was the fact that the Ex-Actor is selfless whereas the Property Lawyer is selfish. I think this is key to why I have been so mentally and emotionally attached to the Ex-Actor. Everything he did, he did because he wanted me to be happy. Even at the end of that relationship, he kept telling me that he wanted me to live my best life abroad and that no guy should ever hold me back from my dreams. 

Whereas with the Property Lawyer, at the end of that relationship, he told me one of the things he regretted was letting me go. Even in his card that he wrote to me, he said that he will always welcome me back as a friend and someone who will support him. As you can see, there’s a stark difference between the end of both relationships. 

Quick Break-Downs of 2021 Dates (Thus Far)

This is just a break-down of the guys I have been interested in since I went back on the dating apps at the end of April 2021 after I found out the Property Lawyer found someone new to date after breaking up with me. 

The Alumni: chubbier boy, good listener, a bit of a pessimist, easily triggered by dumb people, loves golf, hiking and his cat (and willing to buy my food or bubble tea each time :D) 

The Historian: average weight, a bit old-school, enthusiastic, academic, extroverted, couldn’t have sex with someone he was not 100% romantically invested in. We also had conflicting values on what to expect from dating and he didn’t believe in paying for meals as expected each time when it comes to dates.

The Music Teacher: surprisingly fit, good listener, inquisitive, and... I think that’s all I can come up for this guy cause we only video-called once. Randomly ghosted and blocked me when I was asking simple questions about his previous relationships (which he simply could’ve said he didn’t want to talk about if he wasn’t comfortable but I only asked because I shared everything about my relationship with him). So in the end, not so great cause who tf does that (I find that to be either insecure or you are awful at communication). 

Conclusion

Yeah, I don’t have a type. LOL. Simply someone I am attracted to at least mildly at first and most importantly, willing to indulge me in my Love Language. I’ve been interested in both extroverted and introverted personalities. Guys that are super sociable with friends or not much at all (but still need to at least have friends lol). I’m basically cool with anyone as long as they like me back basically. So, tell me in person what kind of guy do you think I will end up with the next time you see me based on my personality and how much you know me!

[biskarsgards]

resolutions

Summary: Bill trying to save his failing marriage

warnings : mentions of sex

You wondered if you were coming down with something. The muscles in your face, back, and shoulders were so tense they felt sore. You felt like your body was foreshadowing the end before your brain could even fully process it. You loved him, you loved the man next to you with all your heart. Your marriage had been an amazing five years, but you could feel it’s death shadowing your every movement. It kept you up at night and made you sick.

He gave you a charming smile, the one you fell in love with so many years ago. The kids were asleep and you wanted to watch the ball drop together. You were both in desperate need of a new year. You had so many questions but you were so afraid to ask. He had always been the actor and you had always been the beautiful commoner he married. Your roles were set before you even got engaged.

He put a beer to his lips and you watched the muscles tense in his jaw as he drank.

“ I’m so excited for the new year,” you finally said. You wondered if he knew what you were thinking about.

“ Me too baby” he sighed. He planted a kiss on your forehead.

He muted the television and turned to you,” What’s wrong?” You hated how he knew you to your marrow.

“ I- 'm just exhausted,” you answered. You tried to keep a stoic expression. You tried to remember good things that happened this year like Emory losing his first tooth or Charlotte making the honor roll.

No matter how hard you tried, the sad and heartbreaking memories flooded in and washed over you. Bill forgot to call this year on your birthday and you hadn’t made love in weeks. You should know your place already, your suffering was already set in stone.

“ I know when something’s wrong, love,” he said. In simple sentences, he said so much.

“ Do you feel like... this isn’t working?” you watched his expression change from relaxed to concerned. He placed his beer down on the cherry wood coffee table. You watched the condensation drip from the bottle to the table. You could hear Emory snoring from inside his room across the hall.

“ I feel you slipping away from me,” he sighed. You weren’t slipping away, he was ignoring you.

“ You know, I’m going to bed, goodnight.” He grabbed your arm before you could leave.

“ I’m begging you not to go to sleep angry with me,” he whispered. He always bit his bottom lip before he cried. He was bitting down so hard you were afraid he might bleed.

“ I’m not angry.” Your words were true, you weren’t angry anymore just tired.

“ I’m sorry about your birthday and not being there,” he apologized. He grabbed your hands but you pulled away. There were only ten minutes until the ball dropped but you weren’t in the mood anymore. You had ruined your own night.

“ You missed the kids growing up baby,”

you said. “ I know this is your job, but you go away so often.” Most nights you felt like a single mother and it felt like you were drowning.

“ I wish I could be here with you through everything,” he said. He put his face in his hands and you wondered if you were being too harsh.

“ I just- I think I want to fix this,” you murmured.

He nodded,” I need to get my family back before they slip away.

You wanted to tell him that it was almost too late, that you had gotten lawyers and papers ready beforehand but you didn’t. If he was willing to try you should be too.

“ I’ve let myself become overpowered by the role of being your wife,” you explained. It was a statement that burned your lips and lungs when you said it, it was like poison.

“ You’re more than that to me. You’re the beautiful woman I married.”

“ But that’s what happens to women these days, they get overshadowed by their spouse,” you explained. You weren’t even shadowed anymore it was like you didn’t even exist. Your day started and ended with you trying to wrangle up the kids.

“ You’re a person first and then a mother and wife,” he stated. It felt relieving to hear him say that but you wondered if he actually believed it.

“ Sometimes, I just want to sleep in.” You didn’t know why your eyes were filling up with tears.

“ I know that we haven’t had sex in a few weeks and I don’t know how you feel about that,” he said precariously.

You rolled your eyes, “ I miss having sex with you.”

He sat with his arms crossed,”We should do couples counseling, my love.” You felt your heart warm when he called you his love. You wondered what he felt when he looked at you. Does he see the person he met seven years ago or the tired woman before him?

“ I need to work on communicating,” he whispered. He wrapped his arms around you and you melted under his touch.

“ I need to as well,” you added.

His lips were cold and they tasted like beer.

“ 2018 is the year of me and my girl,” he whispered, making you blush.

“ What do we do now?” You bit the nail off of your index finger.

“ I was thinking that we should make love.” He kissed your collarbone and your neck.

“ Good plan,” you breathed.

[orbemnews]

A week of compelling and potentially devastating testimony at Derek Chauvin's murder trial Prosecutor Jerry Blackwell broke it down: 4 minutes and 45 seconds as Floyd cried out for help, 53 seconds as he flailed due to seizures, and 3 minutes and 51 seconds as Floyd was non-responsive. Blackwell, in opening statements, said 9-2-9 were the “three most important numbers in this case.” That was the time it took for Chauvin to squeeze “the very life” out of Floyd. The revised time emerged from a review of officers’ body cameras months after May 25, 2020, police encounter. “It’s heartbreaking to know the torture lasted even longer,” Chris Stewart, an attorney for Floyd’s family, told CNN. “This isn’t the standard situation where an officer has to make a split second decision.” The time difference, which has little impact on the case, was an early highlight of the closely watched criminal trial. Here are others: Echoes of guilt from the stand Chauvin, 45, has pleaded not guilty to charges of second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. The ex-cop, in a suit and tie, sat at the defense table most of the week, scribbling notes on a legal pad. In opening statements, defense attorney Eric Nelson argued that video evidence failed to fully capture the complexity of the moment. Chauvin followed his police training, the lawyer told the jury. Nelson argued that Floyd’s death was the result of drug use and preexisting health issues. A crowd of what the attorney called hostile bystanders had distracted the officer. Mixed martial arts fighter Donald Wynn Williams II was one of the most vocal bystanders that day. He pleaded for Chauvin to get off Floyd. He called the ex-cop a “bum” and a “tough guy.” “I just was really trying to keep my professionalism and make sure I speak out for Floyd’s life because I felt like he was in very much danger,” Williams testified. Under cross examination, Williams acknowledged calling Chauvin and another officer names. He yelled at them even after Floyd had been taken away. But, he said, he was not an angry onlooker. “You can’t paint me out to be angry,” he said. Williams was so disturbed by what he saw he called 911, he said. “I called the police on the police,” he said. “I believed I witnessed a murder.” Witnesses had little in common but trauma united them The prosecution witnesses had little in common. A White off-duty firefighter. Some high school students. A 61-year-old man who broke down in tears. A 9-year-old girl. The Black MMA fighter. But the trauma of watching an unarmed Black man die under a White cop’s knee had brought them together. They spoke of their feelings of helplessness and guilt as Floyd gasped for air and pleaded for his life. “These words are going to be churning around in jurors’ minds and the question that’s going to come out of this is, looking towards Derek Chauvin, the defendant in this case, ‘Why didn’t you move?'” CNN senior legal analyst Laura Coates said of the testimony. “Why didn’t this move you the way it obviously moved so many other people?” The teenager who took the widely known bystander video testified that in Floyd she saw her own Black father, brothers, cousins and friends. “I look at that and I look at how that could have been one of them,” Darnella Frazier said through tears. “It’s been nights I’ve stayed up apologizing to George Floyd for not doing more and not physically interacting and not saving his life. But it’s not what I should have done, it’s what he should have done,” she added, referring to Chauvin. Frazier was walking with the 9-year-old girl to the Cup Foods convenience store at the time of the arrest. “I was sad and kind of mad,” the girl testified. “Because it felt like he was stopping his breathing, and it was kind of like hurting him.” Minneapolis firefighter and certified EMT Genevieve Hansen was out for a walk on her day off. She testified that she saw Chauvin kneeling over Floyd’s neck. She wanted to render aid and repeatedly asked police to check Floyd for a pulse. They refused. “I tried calm reasoning, I tried to be assertive, I pled and was desperate,” said Hansen, who wept on the stand at one point. “I was desperate to give help.” Under cross, Nelson tried to get Williams and Hansen to agree with his assertion that they and others were angry and threatening. “I don’t know if you’ve ever seen someone die in front of you, but it’s very upsetting,” Hansen told the defense lawyer at one point. After dismissing the jury, Judge Peter Cahill admonished Hansen. CNN legal analyst and defense attorney Mark O’Mara warned against attacks on sympathetic prosecution witnesses. “The defense team has to be extraordinarily careful,” he told CNN. “If you’re losing those 12 people because of your attack … on one of the witnesses, you may never get that credibility back. This idea of throwing attacks, small as they may be, against whatever witness comes up can really backfire.” Christopher Martin, the 19-year-old cashier who suspected Floyd had handed him a counterfeit $20 bill before the police were called, echoed the regret of other witnesses. “If I would have just not taken the bill, this could have been avoided,” said Martin, who was a cashier at Cup Foods, where the initial call to police was made that day. Jury hears Chauvin’s perspective Charles McMillian, 61, described for the jury how he briefly confronted Chauvin moments after Floyd’s limp body was taken away in an ambulance. “What I watched was wrong,” he said. “That’s one person’s opinion,” Chauvin is heard saying as he got into his squad car. “We had to control this guy because he’s a sizable guy. It looks like he’s probably on something.” The short body cam clip provided the first public glimpse into the former officer’s perspective. “If you really think about it, what he was really just explaining away was, ‘I would do anything that I needed to do. He’s a big guy. He might have been on drugs,’ and basically explaining away, in a very non-emotional way, the fact that this had happened to Floyd,” O’Mara said of Chauvin’s statement to the bystander. McMillian testified as the prosecution played graphic excerpts of Floyd’s final moments. Floyd gasped that he was claustrophobic. He repeatedly said he couldn’t breathe. He called for his mother. McMillian broke down. “I feel helpless,” he said. “I don’t have a mama either. I understand him.” Chauvin told supervisor Floyd ‘was going crazy’ The jury also heard Chauvin’s call to his supervisor shortly after kneeling on Floyd to explain his version of events. “I was just going to call and have you come out to our scene here,” Chauvin told Sgt. David Pleoger in a call captured on body camera footage. “We just had to hold a guy down. He was going crazy. He wouldn’t … he wouldn’t go in the back of the squad — “ Chauvin said Floyd became combative after officers tried to put Floyd in the car. After a struggle, Chauvin said, Floyd had a medical emergency, according to Pleoger. Chauvin did not mention he held his knee on Floyd’s neck and back. At the scene later, Pleoger asked officers to speak to witnesses. “We can try but they’re all pretty hostile,” Chauvin responded. At Hennepin County Medical Center later that night, Chauvin for the first time told his supervisor that he had knelt on Floyd’s neck, Pleoger testified. Pleoger told the jury that Chauvin’s use of force should have ended earlier. “When Mr. Floyd was no longer offering up any resistance to the officers, they could have ended the restraint,” he said. “It would be reasonable to put a knee on someone’s neck until they were not resisting anymore, but it should stop when they are no longer combative.” The prosecution said Chauvin pressed down on Floyd’s neck and back for nearly 4 minutes during which Floyd was non-responsive. A pair of Hennepin County paramedics who treated Floyd said he was unresponsive, not breathing and had no pulse when they arrived on the scene. Paramedic Derek Smith checked Floyd’s pulse and pupils, with Chauvin still kneeling on him. He believed Floyd’s heart had stopped. One paramedic had to motion for Chauvin to lift his knee to lift Floyd onto a stretcher. “In layman terms,” Smith said, “I thought he was dead.” At one point in the courtroom, Philonise Floyd turned his eyes away from the screen showing video of his brother on a stretcher. Philonise Floyd lowered his head, shaking it. He rubbed his bald head with his hand. “This life changing,” he told CNN during a break in the proceedings. “All this testimony is so hard on everyone.” The first week of testimony has been an “emotional roller coaster,” Philonise Floyd said. “To everybody else, it was a case and a cause,” he said. “To me, it was my brother, somebody that I grew up with.” Floyd and girlfriend struggled with addiction Courteney Ross, 45, said she met Floyd in 2017 when he worked as a security guard at the Salvation Army. They both were addicted to opioids, which they were initially prescribed to treat chronic pain. Floyd was a mama’s boy who was a “shell of himself” after his mother’s death in 2018, she said. In March 2020, she found Floyd doubled over in pain and took him to the emergency room. He was hospitalized for an overdose, she testified. Ross testified she believed he had started using again in May 2020. Top homicide cop says Chauvin’s actions were ‘totally unnecessary’ The final witness of the week was Lt. Richard Zimmerman, head of the homicide division for more than 12 years. He joined the department in 1985, making him the most senior officer on the force. Zimmerman said Chauvin’s actions after Floyd was handcuffed and in a prone position were “uncalled for” and “totally unnecessary.” The former’s officers handling of the encounter violated department use of force policy, according to Zimmerman. Asked by prosecutor Matthew Frank if he was ever trained to kneel on a person, Zimmerman said no. “Because if your knee is on someone’s neck — that could kill them,” the lieutenant said. Chauvin at that point raised his head at the defense table and shot a look at Zimmerman. Zimmerman was a signatory to an open letter in which Minneapolis officers condemned Chauvin last year. Under cross-examination, Zimmerman agreed that an unconscious person can become combative when revived, kicking and thrashing about. Nelson sought to show that policing has changed significantly since Zimmerman got his training. He drew attention to Zimmerman’s limited use of force experience as an investigator in comparison to a patrol officer. Coates said Zimmerman provided the “most compelling law enforcement testimony” in the trial so far. She called it “damning.” “It blows out of the water any notion that the officer was trained to sustain this level of force on somebody once they were no longer posing any conceivable threat,” she said. CNN’s Eric Levenson and Aaron Cooper contributed to this report. Source link Orbem News #Chauvins #compelling #Derek #DerekChauvintrial:AweekofemotionalandpotentiallydevastatingtestimonysurroundingGeorgeFloyd'sdeath-CNN #Devastating #Murder #potentially #Testimony #trial #us #Week

[newstfionline]

School Officer: A Job With Many Roles and One Big Responsibility

By Stephanie Saul, Timothy Williams And Anemona Hartocollis, NY Times, March 4, 2018

Maple syrup gumming up the gun belt isn’t normally a hazard of police work. But it is a common problem for Cpl. Pamela Revels when students have been eating pancakes at the school breakfast.

“Kids like to come up and give you a little bit of a hug,” Corporal Revels said. “They don’t wipe their hands that well.”

Ms. Revels freely dispenses hugs and smiles at the schools where she works around Auburn, Ala. But she is also a sheriff’s deputy who wears a sidearm and a bulletproof vest, drives an official S.U.V. and has an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle stored nearby.

On Thursday afternoon, when a report came in about a man in camouflage carrying a gun near school, she sprang into action. As worried students and teachers locked themselves in classrooms and closets, she bolted outdoors, hurriedly walked around the sprawling campus and scanned the nearby woods until she was satisfied that it was safe for everyone to emerge.

“I can turn into a mama bear really quick,” she said. “And I’ve made that decision that nobody is going to hurt my babies if I can help it.”

For millions of students, the first adult they see every day at school is not a teacher, or principal. It is a “school resource officer” like Corporal Revels, an often-overlooked role in law enforcement that is under the national glare like never before.

Their duties range from perking up sullen students to directing bus traffic to settling disputes to keeping an eye out for threats. It is that responsibility as the first line of defense that is getting the most attention, as questions swirl over whether the school resource officer at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., failed to do his job when he remained outside the school on Feb. 14 while a former student, Nikolas Cruz, shot 17 people to death inside.

The position, with its genial-sounding name, is an unusual hybrid of counselor, educator and cop, and perhaps no other job better personifies America’s shifting ideas about schools, policing and safety.

Their numbers exploded during the community-oriented policing wave of the 1990s and even more after the Columbine High School shooting in 1999.

As the memory of that shooting faded and local budgets tightened, their ranks thinned in many places. Now there are calls for installing more of them in schools across the country, with new positions announced in a number of districts just this past week, even as the president wants to arm more teachers.

In interviews, school officers around the country spoke of performing multiple adult roles, having to alternate between nurturing and authoritative, with a guiding philosophy known in the field as “the triad”--counselor, teacher, law enforcement officer.

“They have to be a mentor--a kind, caring, trusting adult, the nice police officer who will give you a high-five and ask you how your day is going,” said John McDonald, the security chief for the Jefferson County, Colo., school district, which includes Columbine High. “And very quickly they have to become a tactical cop. That switch is not for everybody. The ability to do that is very difficult.”

Mostly, though, their job is to keep order on campus and among adolescents whose fuses are not yet fully grown. Officer Kingzett, 38, was in the cafeteria of a Fargo middle school last week when a fight broke out between a girl and a boy. It started with name-calling, but Officer Kingzett could sense it escalating. As the bell rang and students streamed to their classes, she pulled aside the antagonists and just let them vent, using the listening skills she had learned as a negotiator on the police department’s SWAT team.

Crisis over. “It was one of those small victories you could tuck into your back pocket,” she said.

Nationally, there are no specific training requirements for the job, although the National Association of School Resource Officers recommends that officers complete a 40-hour course that includes emergency plans for schools, de-escalation techniques and academic work, including studying the adolescent brain. Since most officers are members of their local forces, they also receive the same shooting training their colleagues do.

Every school in New York City has at least one school safety officer, who are employed by the New York Police Department and can make arrests, but are unarmed. The department also assigns armed officers to certain schools.

The most recent calculations of the number of school resource officers, from 2013, showed that about 30 percent of schools had one, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. In 1975, just 1 percent had.

In some cases, it is not an easy job to fill, according to Mr. McDonald of Jefferson County. “Most cops don’t get into law enforcement to be in school,” he said. “They want to be on the street catching bad guys.”

That problem has helped feed a stereotype that school officers are not the cream of their departments.

Mac Hardy, director of operations for the national organization, said bad school resource officers fall into three categories--“hostages,” those who are ordered to work in schools; “retirees,” older officers who are nursing their pensions; and “vacationers” who like having school holidays off, though many work as regular patrol officers during the summer.

“You’ve been on the job 20 years and we’ve got to park you someplace. We’re going to put you in a school,” Mr. McDonald said, describing the attitude he said some departments have. “That’s much less of an effective model. We want go-getters.”

As the first line of defense, school resource officers are often hailed as heroes when school incidents are defused, or, as in the case of Deputy Peterson, criticized for failing to avert disaster. Mr. Peterson, who resigned from the department, has disputed accusations that he did not fulfill his job, saying through his lawyer that he believed the shots were coming from outdoors and so he waited for the gunman there.

One of the heroes was Deputy Carolyn Gudger, who faced off an armed school intruder in 2010, becoming the toast of her eastern Tennessee community, which named her grand marshal of the Food City 250 Nascar race at Bristol Motor Speedway.

The man had arrived at the school and asked to meet with the principal, then drew a semiautomatic handgun. Deputy Gudger pushed the principal out of harm’s way, drew her gun and held the intruder at bay, negotiating with him for 10 minutes even as he still had his gun drawn.

Other officers arrived and killed him when he refused to drop the weapon. Officer Gudger said she heard criticism that she should have shot the man right away. “I can’t give you a concrete answer on that,” she said last week. “It just wasn’t the time to do it.”

Asked whether she had ever averted an attack, Corporal Revels, the Alabama officer, said that several years ago, she began monitoring a student who had a habit of pushing, kicking and bullying other students. “I went deeper and found writings and drawings that were concerning,” she said, and saw to it that the student began mental health treatment.

On the day of the lockdown--it was unclear if the gun-toting man was real, or perhaps a wandering hunter--Corporal Revels also helped a kindergartner who had dropped his breakfast get new helpings of sausage and apple juice; saw a teenager storm out of Spanish class, talked with him briefly, and had him back in class in five minutes; complimented students on their choice of pajamas for the school’s Pajama Day; and then drove home to her farm an hour away, where she would respond to three phone calls regarding bullying or other misbehavior at school.

Takaya Dupree, a 12th-grader, said Corporal Revels knew almost every student well, since she had been around the school for years. “So I feel like she’ll protect us,” Takaya said.

Even if a gunman burst into the school?

“It wouldn’t get to that point,” she said. “She’ll probably talk him out of it, before he came to the school.”