#i fucking wonder why lmfao god pls

[louisarmpits]

Asking my dad for anything is always such a struggle because he never answers and when he does he gets mad and then hes like why don’t you ever ask me for things like sir????? WHY DO YOU THINK??????

[carebeartherese]

My live reactions to Loki season two ep 5:

-WOOOO HERE WE GO

-running through the recap

-Im actually scared for this episode srsly

-oooo the almost silent intro

-ALIVE???

-he is angelic fr

-where is everyone???

-did they go back to their timelines??

-Im loving these continued camera shots

-pie room??

-TIME SLIPPING

-oh shit

-:0 double Loki

-hello?

-time slipping is just an excuse for Loki to flip his hair like the hoe he is /pos

-time loop???

-WHAT THE FUCK

-WHY IS EVERYTHING COMING APART

-SHIT

-oop there’s the theme

-prison??

-CASEY?????

-WHAT THE HELL

-oh hes escapin

-where are they i wonder

-a boat prison??

-no not again dude Loki can’t handle this

-ALCATRAZ????

-his name ain’t Frank lmfao

-oh it’s the BOAT PLACE

-dude why are we back in the tva

-:0 SHIT NEW YORK 2012

-Aw b15 is such a great doctor I love her

-MOBIUS WHAT ARE YIU DOING

-living his dream

-who tf is don

-also his son??? No thank you

-LOKI GO SEE YOUR MAN

-this is so unserious

-LOKI IS SO CUTE ABOUT MOBIUS

-Mobius is adorable

-SINGLE DAD???

-FUCK YEA

-ooo 1994

-OB!!!!

-hes so silly

-awww he just wants to sell his books

-hes a writer <333

-in his bunker???

-ITS JUST LIKE HIS LAB

-dude ob will believe anything that happens to him

-the sons of who??

-ob is so adorable with his little “hey”

-dammit

-none of that made sense OB

-cannot control the time slipping

-oooo true

-LOKI = TEMPAD

-to save his friends

-oh yea shit kang is coming aint he

-control it Loki!!!!

-nope

-you look like you’re trying to take a shit

-there is no controlling time

-OB WE DONT SHOCK PEOPLE

-OR WHATEVER THAT WAS

-stop psychoanalizing

-go to the pie room

-GET THE BAND BACK TOGETHER

-oh that’s actually kind of smart

-ob is adorable and I love him and his tism

-oh fuck there he goes

-TO MOBIUS AGAIN!!

-he sucks at taking the trash out

-yea Kevin

-these kids are literally adorable

-don’t burn down the house pls

-“HELLO”

-these guys are so awkward

-just kiss srsly

-WAIT THEY ARE SO CUTE

-HES SUCH A SALESMAN

-wife long gone????

-cause of the gay

-is he flirting??

-are jet skis flirting????

-mobius really thinks lokis crazy

-OB HI

-none of this makes sense

-awww the way he grabbed Mobius

-dude theyre so gay

-they need to just kiss already fr

-yea your kids will be fine mobius I swear

-hes just a suburb dad

-this is a little heartbreaking but also gay tbh

-IKR IT IS A COOL NAME

-B15!!!! Come with!!!!

-CASEY FUCK YEA

-ESCAPE

-where’s sylvie?

-mobius looks shook

-and Casey trusts no one the little thief

-mobius/don is he flirting with Casey/Frank

-I love sylvie but she always gets angry and fucks shit up

-please leave her out of this one

-WAIT WHAT

-HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOU

-wait till it back

-fuck get that time slipping under control

-sylvie with her lesbian fit and her mullet

-ok but Loki loves mobius and doesn’t wanna loose him

-uncaring queen

-I mean she wants to live

-damnnnnn

-WAIT CALL HIM OUT

-WHAT DOES HE WANT

-FALSE

-HE WANTS MOBIUS SRSLY

-oh come on Marvel be more specific

-of course he doesn’t wanna be alone

-don’t make this romantic again pls

-NO WE ARENT

-his story is with mobius tho!!!

-Casey is such a weird ass hardened criminal

-mobius stop trying to sell shit to people

-Loki you are so babygirl

-NO WHAT ABOUT THE GANG

-I don’t understand anything anymore

-is sylvie flirting with record shop guy??????

-THE VELVET UNDERGROUND

-HOLY SHIT

-literally what is happening rn

-whos this guy in the back

-oh he disappeared????

-why’s shit disappearing????

-NOOOO

-THE TIMELINES DECAYING

-OH GOD NO!!!

-NOT HOT RECORD SHOP GUY

-and she’s gone

-so is the timeline

-Loki is so sad and lonely

-MOBIUS KISS HIM PLS

-HE NEEDS TLC

-NOT TRUE

-a timeline just died for some reason

-Loki was just waiting for this opportunity

-CASEY DAMMIT SRSLY

-OH FUCK NO

-WAIT EVERYONE COME BACK

-NO MOBIUS PLEASE

-OH GOD NOT PLEASE NOT KNTO THE DARK

-THIS VERY BAD DREAM

-oh shit Loki use them timeslipping powers

-GO BACK IN TIME

-YOU CAN DO THIS BBG

-ITS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS

-oh come on dont give me that fuckin cliffhanger

[feuqueerfire]

My School President Live Blogging

Wow, am I finally getting to this show? The last episode comes out in a week so this is perfect timing for me technically. I'm still pretty caught up on Beyond Evil and Lee Dongshik/Han Joo Won but I believe the show can hold my attention still.

I've seen so many gifsets of this and clips and GeminiFourth tweets/tiktoks as well and it's all been soooo adorable, so I'm expecting to really like this.

Episode 1 (Feb 18)

1-1

damn not me having to see that random girl get harassed within the first 5 minutes

pls then just hitting each other on the head cuties

pls Gun so funny and annoying along with his friends

girl they nearly burnt down the school 4 times?! jk 3 times

agh Tinn ordering food for the music club and now I’m craving fried chicken so bad

Tinn always declaring something and looking off into the distance and his friends looking with him or wondering what he’s looking at

1-2

so cute Gun’s mom to the rescue and Gun being like “that’s my mom”

plss Gun speaking cutely with Tinn to get him to extend the deadline

1-3

The last name change during the prayer really was so early on ah Tinn

1-4

Why are they being so rude at the beginning when Chinzilla are playing smhhh

noo Tinn giving the garland to the other team

oh how did Chinzilla win then?

pls I saw this clip of Gun being like "Smile, Mr. School President. Good boy"

oh dumbass Tinn not giving Chinzilla his own garland but working triple the amount to make sure everybody else votes for them ah you fool

I haven't watched any BL since the start of this month and haven't watched any Thai BL this year except NLMG once a week, so it took a bit to get into the right mindset for this comedic high school BL after watching and being obsessed with Beyond Evil. This was really fun though, glad to see Fourth and Gemini's faces, as well as Chinzilla friend group

Ep 2 (Feb 19)

2-1

plssss Tinn's voice when speaking to Gun vs his squeaky voice when speaking to his mom

pls Tinn obsessed as fuck with Gun

I usually don't like the same scenes repeated with a different perspective but this is fun because Tinn's so ridiculous

as cute lil grade 10 Tinn with his glasses and Nobita-lite outfit

my god nerdass Tinn with the Love and Gentleness and Peace in his crossword (it's scrabble?) game

(Linguistics) Tinn referred to Gun as nai in this scene - what do they use now? I would think gu/meung

pls Tiw with the teasing Tinn and also poking fun at the dynamic "time to tell him that the cruel school president has a crush on you, baby boy" lmfao

2-2

noooo poor Tinn's confession ruined by the instruments being taken away and his rose getting stepped on

plsss Gun coming to beg Tinn similar to Tinn's dream

So silly, I love the "act as my servant/errand boy" trope

pls rascal Gun when giving the shaved ice to Tinn is so cute, I'm in love with Fourth's face

Tiw with the imaginary umbrella ah I love friendship

2-3

Tinn fr giving away his dad's guitar to silly kids for the time being

"not even a 4 year old would fall for that" and indeed Gun and friends fall for that

(Linguistics) Also fun that Tinn's pretending to be a nong and calling the music club members Phi as the lion

2-4

Tinn has become aware of the Hot Wave contest rule

plsss Tinn singing City to Gun to rescue him as Gun had done years ago and made him feel happy

the lyrics were translated when they were singing City and i can totally see why that song was chosen for Vice Versa and PuenTalay, sucks that it didn’t make much of an impression in me on the actual show as it did in the VV OG mock trailer

Gun grabbing Tinn's chin ah

Ep 3 (Feb 19)

3-1

pls Tinn lacking braincells momentarily while being like "no I'm not watching" and Gun and co. also not having even 1 braincell to pass around because they all fall for it. ah these kids

(Fave) plsss I've seen this tutoring scene so many times cuz I've replayed it to death. Tinn daydreaming about the love equation when tutoring Gun vs yelling at him by momentarily forgetting that's his boy bc Gun can't do 7th-grade math. Tinn threatening with the "I'm gonna smack you" lmfao

ohhh that's how they end up sleeping in the same bed or whatever. because of this safe house

"Don't you want to spend nights with me, Tinn?" lmfaooo and Tinn's face afterward so funny

Bye! as Gun disappears

plssssssss Tinn's father being like yo yeah let him go so that we can finally fuck <333 do you want a bro or a sis or a baseball team <3 dead ew

3-2

Tinn dying as he watches Gun do the homework

Tinn whining like I just wanna be his boyfrienddd

Gun seems fond as he's listening to Tinn go on about what'll be the consequences of Gun not sleeping on the bed lol he says that Tinn's annoying but it's a liee

Bad Buddy flashbacks with the way they're lying with Gun on the bed and Tinn on the floor

pls Tinn misinterpreting what being partners means

ahh Tinn's heartbeat and inability to dance when it's with Gun

a clear Bad Buddy reference and Mark Pakin lmfao along with the Bad Buddy intro music my beloved

3-3

pls daydreams with the printer ink refill ad

Tinn daydreaming of Gun teaching him to chop veggies and calling him cutie pie so cute only for Gun to make him move away and call him a Khun Nu spoiled prince

(Linguistics) It's fun how they keep referring to Gun as Phi and Tinn as Nong like first with Nong Lion and now when Gun's calling himself Phi cuz he's talented and better at cooking

yaas one of Tinn's daydreams coming true, though the other way around, with Gun cleaning the rice off his face but i doubt Tinn cares which way around his fantasies happen

wtf this chinzilla chant killed me

Tinn's soul leaving his body over Gun hugging him

3-4

beautiful Fourth

plsss Gun: have you ever used that line to hit on anyone? Tinn: You. uhhh wanna rehearse? you wanna do the dance rehearsal right now? because Tinn panicked but did Gun seem a bit disappointed that the answer wasn't actually Meung? did he hmm

honestly congrats to Tinn for managing to dance instead of bursting into flames considering he's also holding Gun's bare waist

Tinn brave as hell to lie there and ask Gun to make extended eye contact with him considering he can't even interact normally with the guy

ahhhh Gun being the one who lets go of the staring and turns around and curls up in bed with an excuse, my guy is feeling feelingsssss

(Fave) ahh Tinn's speedy stuttering heartbeat and him trying to convince himself to do well because Gun won't get to go to Hot Wave otherwise but then Gun telling him to close his eyes and him having the best, cutest, most beautiful daydream of ever ah Though I do wish they wouldn't do so many flashbacks like both here and with the staring moment, we got to see a lot of the past 3 ep moments again lmao

(Fave) ahhhhh the heartbeat thing coming back but this time for Gun!! Gun's racing heart after the eye contact with Tinn and the pencil case ahhhh it's so fucking good

also beautiful beautiful Fourth and his expression and Gun's blinking ah so good cute beautiful makes me so giddy

I'm gonna chew on glass, such a good episode. I'm so fond of all the characters and am so smiley and giddy while watching. We're getting Gun's POV again next ep I think

Fave Scenes:

Tinn's tutoring daydream vs reality

Tinn's daydream of the dance with the tuxedos and live music

Gun's racing heartbeat as we realize he's starting to catch feelings as well and his expression!!

Ep 4 (Feb 20)

4-1 and 4-2

i was eating so not many comments

at least Gun's friends were loyal to him but also Sound's not wrong. They probably could've come up with a solution that doesn't involve Gun quitting but yknow teenagers, so it makes sense and I'm assuming he'll be back in the band by the end of the ep

The humour for this show really works for me like Sound being like oh you want me to not join? I'll join or sure! and Sound making Win come around with the "P'win nalak" comment reading and our lovely cute Gun, esp at the Booth Checking

4-3

(Linguistics) Tinn calling Gun Khun Nu as the customer/waiter ah

I should also become thick-skinned

aw Tinn and Gun heart-to-heart cuteness

4-4

pls Sound trying so hard not to smile

the cute Chinzilla hat blankets ah

Sound learning to become softer through the power of Friendship

Gun getting some food for Tinnn and then we ofc get the Bad Buddy like makeup remover ad

The pinky hold! I don't quite like the editing of that scene but it's so cute T.T Tinn's shaking hand ah

Ep 5 (Feb 20)

5-1

I think this is the first ep where I started slightly avoiding spoilers, so idk much about this conflict about future plans

I did see this jealous little Gun in clips heh

damn Gun really going for the "Does the school president take care of all his friends this good?"

D: where is this show going? Why are we dealing with Gun having to skip school to look after their restaurant and them being behind on bills oh no and Gun considering giving up Hot Wave to study

5-2

Tinn getting Gun out of bed sooo cute

5-3

cute Tinn in his glasses + I really like Gemini's smile

bro Gun's father and his reason for wanting to do music why is this ep sad

loll Tinn managing to ask if Gun has found someone he wants to date after the contest but Gun escaping

pls Sound doing nothing and Win getting freaking worked up is so funny

aw Gun didn't get the job

do i feel like watching this rap battle... no. I'm watching just the talking bits

5-4

:< Gun sobbing while hugging Tinn

I want Gun's sweater

ah they all found their way back to the music club

does Gun know that the one in the music club that Tinn likes is himself... does he know?

D: This show was supposed to be pure joy and shenanigans but now there are sad touching parts :< with the parents and financial situations and future endeavous

I knew there were sad parts apaprently that made people cry but so early? I esp can't deal with uncertainties of the future and jobs and such

Ep 6 (Feb 21)

6-1

"Who in my club do you like? ... I can be your matchmaker" oh Gun

plsss last ep Gun had Tinn as Ai'Mr. Student President or something and Tinn has Gun has Chinzilla Baby

Tinn dying over wanting to tell Gun he likes him but then agonizing over his daydream gone wrong vs Gun wanting to hear Tinn say he likes him but being too nervous and having the most frantic call ahh

Gun's so funny "Friends are friends, what kind of friend wants to be a lover? >:(" and then smiling :D while listening to the lyrics and thinking of Tinn

oioioi keeping eye contact

also I love Fourth's smile that's like kinda frowny sometimes. upside down smile

lmfaooo does Tiw actually think Sound's tryna steal Gun or is he just tryna motivate Tinn

lmfao Tiw shipping king with TinnGun and SoundWin

6-2

pls going from SoundWin angry at each other to Tinn softly asking Gun the question

pls Tinn's best memory is Gun singing on his birthday when his parents weren't there

aw Gun :<

6-3

girl pls SoundWin is so funny what's going on

Satang so beautiful though and also Soung touching his lips and looking over at Win leaving ah he was so confident when in front of Win and everybody but mans is falling

oioioi poor 'friends'

lmfaooo dramatic Tinn

6-4

Gun making everything cuter and lovey dovey in the MV and Tinn going through it fr

oh noo Tinn getting upset and "friends don't do this" :<

Friendzone line cross and cheek kiss sooo cute

oh just being friendly MV

Ep 7 (Feb 22)

7-1

Tinn suddenly so confident in his flirting

Gun so silly getting jealous over this 1 far-away interaction

7-2

girl wtf Yo why are you a child on Tinder? and why are you catfishing with Tinn's face? They were clearly hinting at him being into somebody with his questions about the dating ban rule but I wasn't expecting this lol

pls Tinn being so dreamy about their first date

7-3

girl why tf are we even going through with this pretend date T.T Yo can't even date her after he confesses his lies even if she does like him back

pls Gun being so violent toward Yo is killing me

pls Jealous Sound?

what the fuck is this SoundWin pee situation this is killing me so bad what's going onnnnn why

yaas lesbians <333

aw TinnGun first date cuties

dumbass Yo fr

lmfao I'm dead leave Nook aloneeeee, she has him blocked

I think it's fun that Gun bought Tinn that QR code from their first date hangout and uploaded photos of Tinn on there; so his reciprocity and interest

This episode was so ridiculous like the SoundWin tied up and pee scene?! Yo's whole entire catfishing storyline?! and all the ridiculous things like the aquarium date + yard dance to help Yo?!

Ep 8 (Feb 22)

8-1

oh it's already Hotwave day? are we gonna flashback? or it's just the next round but not the final round right

plsssss Gun has Tinn so wrapped around his finger

no actually Tinn's horny little daydreams and expressions are killing me so bad ah cuteee

also Tinn saying he hasn't started studying for the exam whatever next month is a bit hmmm

ahhh Gun drinking all that sake

8-2

pls not Tiw witnessing a hand kiss between Sound and Gun

pls this Indian serial style editing of Tinn becoming aware of Sound and Gun killing me so bad

TinnGun cute swimming and cute convo :< and soooo cute when Tinn's jealous and Gun finds it endearing

7-3

ahh Win caring about Sound okay okay

"trying to bug me?" "yeah I am" that's really cute

(Linguistics) I loveee the way they say "really?" like "lohhh?" like I've noticed it each time and love the little whiny or indulgent way it's said

okie cheering on Gun for his competition and Tinn for his meeting with the doctor - each person doing what's best for their own future but supporting the other as well

8-4

noo Tinn why are you running to see them perform after you've already let Gun know that you won't be here T.T go introduce yourself to the doctor (or maybe he'll realize he really doesn't wanna be a doctor. then that's okay ig)

lol I think I'm just Going Through It in terms of school and career and internships but Tinn passing up that networking opportunity that other people don't even get is killing me so bad like why did you doooo that. though at least it's not like he actually missed an interview or something.

though I'm also still happy that TinnGun get to have a cute moment. cute teary Gun T.T

forehead kiss cute

Actually the fact that Hotwave is like so many rounds is killing me so bad bc the more rounds you pass, the more you anticipate actually winning. These fucking internship interviews with like OA -> phone interview -> 2 hour-long interviews is really fucking me up because the further you get into the chain, the more you hope you did well and will get the job but that doesn't mean shit :> you could still be 1 of 10 or 20 in that last step and you could just be not chosen

Ep 9 (Feb 23)

9-1

died when Tinn's mom started naming girls that Tinn might like

TinnGun soooo freaking cute my beloveds

I love Prom's face and also Ford's character's outfits

Yak has graduated bruh why is he haunting these kids

9-2

(Fave) pls this Gun and Sound convo killed me so bad

and then Gun escaping when Sound asks if he should confess to Win

(Fave) sooooo cute when Gun's tickling under Tinn's chin and promising to announce their relationship if they win the next step

9-3

SoundWin have also gotten so cute >.< Sound being like do you feel anything after reading that? And getting prissy when Win says it doesn't suit Sound at all

Sorry but Tinn's flinchy face when Gun's threatening to flick his forehead got to me so bad and then the end of the scene when he turns his face as Gun flicks him

i love whiny lil Tinn

oh yeah I'm worried something's very wrong with Gun's mom's health pls

9-4

Tinn and Gun's moms knowing each other is gonna be trouble maybe

oh Win teasing Sound with the oh why's your heart beating so fast

"Did you write that song?" "No, you wrote it in [my heart]. I just sang it out loud" is an insane line. good job Tinn

also this I need somebody to love song reminds me of a song from the True Beauty OST or is it 18 Again?

Ep 10 (Feb 23)

10-1

pls Gun getting Tinn to clean the classroom

oof Tinn witnessing Gun's mom in pain

bruh why'd she make Tinn stay T.T now he knows about how severe her migranes are and I think people said there's gonna be about Tinn knowing but Gun not being told

10-2

pls tutor P'Aof

pls TinnGun are sooo cute, I'm gonna be so sad when they have angst cuz of Tinn having to keep the mom thing a secret

loll Tiw's genius plan to introduce Chinchillaz to the school

a;kldfjs Sound getting so worked up at the possibility that Tiw could like Win

anyway is Tiw/Por a thingggg

aghhh Tinn's not wrong for keeping it from Gun because Gun's mom told him to and it's her responsibility to tell her son but Gun's not wrong for being mad that Tinn knew and kept it from him

my poor beloved Gun T.T he lost his dad without a chance to say goodbye and now his mom has a brain tumour T.T

okay well at least Gun's mom tells him to not be mad at Tinn and also tells him about things that Tinn has done for him in secret so far

awww the "I just bought some food and drinks for you. In case you're hungry" T.T I knew Tinn didn't leave but the way Gemini did his little acting really hit it

10-3

lovely Tinn getting to hear Gun say he's thankful for the things that he's done

broooo I thought Gun was gonna call and she was gonna see, not that Tinn's mom would actually go through his phone D:

oh i see she had 1 moment of resistance and then fucking Chinzhilla Baby with Gun's face comes up ahhhh

the parents are really making me go through it this ep

also you know something else haunting me is a gif from ep 11 probably of Gun being like "yeah! fine I'm the reason we lost" or something like ah fuck

10-4

ah okay at least his mother's okay, though of course they're making us wait for winner announcements but like is the "will you be disappointed if i don't win?" and tinn saying "not at all" foreshadowing

I like how Tinn and Gun switch being the nervous one and flirty one. like they're both into each other and want to hug and kiss cheeks/on the lips and want to make the other one be flustered but also they each can get shy or get flustered

Ep 11 (Feb 24)

11-1

ohhh it really goes to Chinzhilla interesting

wtf was that real or no

fucking fuckkkkkkkkk it was a bit dreamy but I was like hmmm

poor sad Gun :< my beloved

why is Tinn just going to the student council my guy

aw hopeful optimist Por. he doesn't even have a funky sweater on today to get through this

oh maybe TinnGun are just avoiding each other at school or something but are fine together at the hospital

11-2

sorry why is Tinn's dad kneeling on the ground beside the couch after getting his wife a drink like this is so the plot of the PWPs I've read

nooo poor Gun getting nervous

aw Win believes it's his fault that they lost Hot Wave

yes Por/Tiw but it wasn't a secret relationship the way everybody was hoping

pls Por's foot being broken because he didn't redeem his wish of making no mistakes during the Hot Wave performance. the whole group's coming together through this though

ahhh preview of Tinn's mom asking Gun something,- I thought it was her asking Tinn something at first cuz we could only see her but then Gun nodding...

11-3

oioioi Gun revealing so much about Tinn's help to his mother but he's so endearing pls Tinn's mom, love him pls <3

pls Tinn's face when he realizes his mother went to Gun's mom's milk bar

okayyyy Tinn told his mom it was Gun who invited him to the beach trip and le thim go

pls not this Oishii ad

TinnGun you silly goofs with the hugging

wait wtf what's going on D:

oh pls Win why is he saying that to Gun

scary Gun? I'd like to see him play smth angry again

damn who is making up so quickly after saying such harsh words and almost fighting physically

all their wishes came true but what did Tinn and Gun wish for?

bro Tinn seek help. he wished that whatever Gun wished for comes true?

pls Gun's cute little wish >.<

but so funny that not a single one of them wished to win Hot Wave

11-4

okayyyy we're getting hesitancy but now quite homophobia from Tinn's mom

TinnGun soooo cute

free Nook from Yo

these non-kiss things are a bit annoying like either kiss or stop eluding to it

TinnGun my beloveds soooooo cute

I love Gemini's little smile his toothy grin

I wish the friendship fights were either less intense or had more of a falling out that was fixed through some time and conversation. it gave me whiplash to get from such harsh words to hugging and cuteness

Ep 12 (Feb 24)

People have said it's the perfect ending, so I'm looking forward to it.

12-1

plss so cute T.T Tinn's mom wanting to talk to Tinn about him and Gun but backing off when she realizes how anxious and scared it was making Tinn. And Gun's cute convo with his mom who gives her full approval <3

aw Tinn saying his family isn't like Gun's :<

sorry Tinn and this girl doing a shooting as romantic partners so funny like first of all she has a gf and he has a bf

loll Gun finally aware of Tiw's help with Tinn. also lol I feel like Tiw's "nobody except me knows" is gonna be untrue

I love lesbians so bad

ah we're really getting into the societal acceptance of queerness

TINNGUN ARE SO FUCKING CUTE T.T I saw a clip on twitter of their kiss scene but it's still making me so giddy

these fucking showssss and their fucking photo spreading of 2 boys kissingggg first NLMG now this ahhh

12-2

pls everybody but Por knew about TinnGun but Pat didn't know about SoundWin

I mean Jorn's not wrong about him joining to help every club, not just help Tinn hit on Gun but also you could seem less homophobic

nooo my beloved Gun, trying not to cry by pinching his nose the way Tinn told him

my beloved Tinn so willing to tell everybody T.T and be beside Gun

I hate the students fangirling over the TinnGun hug aghh like we were just having a heartfelt moment wtf is this

lol Win calling Sound 'pumpkin' so cute and flustered Sound so cute

wtf 'this can make the school look bad?' these teachers need a kick. i hope the mom remains to be strongly supportive of Tinn

we will never be free of name position debates like even in this fucking show we getting TinnGun GunTinn discussions you're killing me

ah that's why we had the switch to hand held camera - showed the shakiness of overhearing your teachers be homophobic towards you

oh so true Jorn punched the teacher? Everybody was talking about Tinn punching him in the preview from ep 11 so this is more shocking

12-3

yay Tinn mum!

TinnGun cute as hell once again, the performance at Prom of the new song is also cute

pls this PDA and shipping comments making me die so bad like these are in-canon high school classmates but Tinn is dying at being so publicly loved on, so I'll let it slide

12-4

cute SoundWin. I'm not super into them because Win's too much and I skipped most of their kissing as I tend to do but their dynamic is fun and cute

aww my poor beloved Pat with no faen. not to worry my guy, you have a beautiful face

plsss so cute both Tinn's dad and Gun so nervous

D: Gun going straight to 'mae' and Tinn's mom being taken aback and being like let's start with 'Aunt' is killing me so bad, I'm so embarrassed

soooo cute TinnGun so cute

we will never be free from name position debates x2 though it's def interesting that GMMTV is going in a way where there's even debate now rather than clear cut answers. like FirstKhao vs KhaoFirst. TinnGun vs GunTinn. Nueng and Palm's dynamic is weird and flippy but not flippy.

Very good last episode. Gave us some angst and tied up some loose ends in the first half. Made me sooo giddy in the second half.

Overall:

I really liked it, especially for what it was: a cute, endearing high school BL with really endearing leads and good acting and sometimes turning tropes on their head.

I didn't love it or obsess over it the way some people seemed to but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I also loved so many of their faces lol Fourth and Prom my favourite beautiful faces but Gemini and Satang are beautiful too, not to mention Gun's mother whew!

This made me giddy and the OSTs are great and there's clear effort from the cast and crew. I liked the dynamic between the characters, whether it be how Gun and Tinn took turns being bold and shy or the parent-child relationships or Chinzhilla band. I might increase the rating by 0.5 if the characters continue giving me brainrot.

Fave Ep: Probably Ep 3

Rating: 7 7.5/10 [April 4, 2023 Edit: The characters did indeed continue to give me brainrot, as well as actors, so +0.5]

Videos

Let's Talk BL video podcast: S3 EP23: Gemini & Fourth

Open House Open Heart - Behind Special

Posts I Made

Tinn, Gun, and Tinn's father in ep 12

Public Confession at Prom

Tiktoks:

Ep 1 Tinn manipulating the folk song contest to favour Gun's group

Ep 0 Open House Open Heart FourthGemini

[Fave] Ep 3 Gun falling in love (bg: Labyrinth - taylor swift)

Ep 3 Tinn getting frustrated tutoring Gun and momentarily forgetting that’s his boy lol

Ep 4 finger locking tinn hand shaking

Tinn not going who Gun likes and dying over it

Ep 7 girlfriends !

“I guess I’m the only one who’s whipped”

MSP Ep by Ep

Ep 11 Gun and the girl being jealous of Tinn and her gf acting

Edit: Can't Help Falling In Love With You

This was so funny because most of the tiktoks, I'd liked and tracked before having watched the series and I didn't know who Gun and Tinn were so I just guessed during every scene lmfao and sometimes I was referring to them with wrong names

Old Trailer: GMMTV 2022 | แฟนผมเป็นประธานนักเรียน [My School President]

Ah, it has certain of the same parts but the new story is so much better. The trailer showed some of the usual tropes of pitfalls of high school BL and I'm glad the final show managed to make them fresh and interesting. Also Fourth looks like a babyyy. I guess he was 17/18 during the final filming and so was probably 16/17 during the trailer but he looks more than just a year younger - aw child

New Trailer: [Official Trailer] แฟนผมเป็นประธานนักเรียน My School President

ehhhh it's an alright trailer. I wish instead of 4 minutes of showing way too much, they'd have a 2-minute snappy and succinct trailer that better showcased the silliness and endearing factors of the show. it's an okay trailer but not great.

Edit Mar 30: Episode 12 behind was released yesterday and me and twitter have been losing our entire heads over it. all the kisses and also fourth insisting said kisses 'are nothing' is so...

[n4talia-chaparro]

DEAR LORD!! AND OHHH MAN!

(Pretend this isn't a vent or a small rant, I can't keep it in my chest anymore just laugh. Pls laugh pls I'm so funny X3333 !!)

I love the CU fandom so much that it makes me wanna cry and remember the fucked up shit I went through when I see a proshipper (KxM shipper) on my page1!1!1 imagine being 9-10 and you got groomed by someone that USED to be your only friend, your only friend that teaches you how to RP and make more friend. Then they asked you to rp as M and they rp as K to make sex rp and then their other partners accused you of grooming and said you hurt them first even tho you were 9 and no one believed you only because they used you for nsfw art request only LOL X333 years has passed and your 14-15 new people then recognize you out of nowhere and began to bring up your pass and accused you of pedophilia. lmfaooo so funny IKR? LMFAOOO

7 YEARS OF HOPING PEOPLE CAN UNDERSTAND THE TRUE CONTEXT AND MY ISSUES BUT NO ONE LISTENS BECAUSE I'M ONLY KNOWN AS A "GROSS" PERSON. "PROBLEMATIC". "SICKO" THAT'S THE ONLY THING IM KNOWN FOR.

I was a child. A FUCKING CHILD. I was so young when I was dragged into the amino group chat not knowing it has groomers and proshippers. Irl gore, irl n_des, irl SH. I have experienced so much I cannot describe I much I appreciate the bad side of the fandom for RUINING me.

Too bad the good side of the fandom also has scumbags and assholes because whenever I see a nice individual, it gives me flashbacks. It makes me remember some of my groomers. I cannot get it out of my head much I keep overthinking and overworking only because people prefer the perfect ones. It gives me a terrible flashback

And RIGHT NOW SOMEONE RECENTLY SENT ME TEXT SAYING I SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR MY PAST ACTIONS AND ASKED ME WHY I KEEP POSTING AFTER WHAT I DID LMFAO

IT'S SO FUNNY BECAUSE I SEE BOTH SIDES AS TOXIC. AND PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE SO MATURE AFTER THAT TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE THEY WERE SO WRING XDDD I'M SUCH A BURDEN NO WONDER WHY THEY SEE ME AS PROBLEMATIC- HOW I AM GONNA BE MATURE WHEN YOU GROOMED ME AND TOLD ME TO ROT TO HELL ONLY BECAUSE I WAS EXPRESSING MY EMOTIONS AND TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM ME LOL LMFAOOOO God I love the old times,,,, :333 </33

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: clickbait

tried watching this when it came out and lost interest within the first two minutes lmao let’s hope this time goes better

oh damn she’s an addict

i wonder if he’s doing the video for attention or if it’s actually real and he’s in danger 🤨

why do they keep focusing on that one teammate…

the student taking a video pls 😭

oh shit??? the detective is the guy pia matched with the night before

and of course it’s in his handwriting

oh my God he called her but she was so fucked up she dropped her phone and didn’t get it til now 🤦‍♀️ i just know she’s blaming herself

they’re in a whole ass crises and her mom is still taking shots at her that’s so…

not vince trying to kiss her lmfaooo

oh fuck it hit 5 mil

how convenient that they got a lead right as it hit 5 million views

it’s gonna be empty

- 1x02

*pretends to be shocked*

why does he wanna be in homicide so bad?

“we were just having some fun” a guy is literally missing lmfao

that was the worst statement i’ve ever heard

LMFAOOO HIS OFFICE

“are you married, detective?” “yes” tf?

what the hell is sophie hiding

that’s so fucked up

vince was part of that??? wow

i can’t wait to find out if this is just some elaborate hoax nick decided to pull

ooh what if matt has something to do with it? there’s something about him that i just don’t trust

oh shit he has a son

aw i kinda feel bad for the guy

OH MY GOD

and that’s why you don’t make promises you can’t keep

i fully expected him to be alive by the end i’m ngl

oh wow he made homicide

oh shit that’s the guy who kicked nicks ass at the bar

i knew sophie was being weird

- 1x03

his poor kids ☹️

her mom knows???

well that couldn’t have gone worse

i’m so glad she was followed tbh both because she’s a liar and because curtis probably would’ve hurt her

“if you were happy in your marriage mrs, brewer, why were you having an affair?” GET HER ASS!

oh shit did he rape her?

i’m trying sooo hard not to be biased towards either of them since we don’t know the full story but it’s a challenge

ohhh my God ethan heard

“you never judged me. all this time you knew and you didn’t judge” “not to your face” real 😭

i wonder if nicks affair started before or after sophie came clean about hers

oooh that girl that they focused on a bit in the first ep was def about to talk to sophie about something

i really don’t trust matt

judging by the looks on some of the girls faces i really think nick was hurting him and matt was in on it

oh shit sophie’s putting the pieces together

the fucking whiplash i got from hearing the weeknd right after that memorial scene 😭😭

not him using the pics he took while sophie was with him skdjgjgkfjs what an asshole 😭😭

why the hell was he so upset about her affair if he’d been on that app for two years??

“i forgive you” the audacity.

- 1x04

emma’s a real one for helping out that man and his wife i can’t lie

did he hurt her too?

he clearly never mentioned emma to matt

SHE KNEW HE WAS MARRIED???? i wonder what else she knew

i wonder what nicks mom would say if she knew that he was cheating first

what the fuck

at first i thought matt killed nick but then he stopped that student from talking to sophie so i figured he was hurting them too bc why else would he not want it to get out? but if he found out what nick was doing and killed him for it, he wouldn’t want to be caught so maybe that’s why he did it?

shit are they gonna kill emma?!

okaaaay emma’s saying she got spooked and ran her car off the road but she was clearly sideswiped so either she’s lying or her head injury is preventing her from remembering 🤨

i wonder if all the women he was dating decided to kill him?

i really have no idea how this is gonna end

[manygreetingsfriend]

hm. thots underneath.

tw nsfw and sa

i WILL go on a date this year i’ve decided. i will Attempt this. it’s so so so fucking weird id-ing as ace for a decade and now suddenly. maybe?? getting horny for the first time(s)?? and i joked to myself over the past few years that my ~teenage rebellion~ was actually happening in my twenties and not my teens but can that PLS not also include fucking. puberty emotions lmfao. and they’re not even DIRECTED anywhere which makes it so much worse i can’t even tell why or how 😭😭😭

and i want to just fuck someone already so i can know if it works for me or naur and focus on what does work instead!!! bc wondering w/o all the info is really fucking my style and not even in the way i (potentially??) want!!! i fuckkgjgng. wanna fast track thru my intimacy trust vulnerability body previous assault etc issues so i can just fucking get to the end result and know already. but god forbid women have anything. so. fucking fine. it’s sooo hard to tell if ur into something or not when imagining it just keeps getting interrupted by the ONE experience you have and it was also apparently assault. i would appreciate an unbiased sample size PLEASE. christ.

anyway. major respect to all that can hook up as they please. unable to see it yet as anything other than an ultimate form of Being Known

ALSO thats at least. maybe half the reason ive been smoking soooo much. it’s the only (?) way ive felt horny/able to get the satisfaction from feeling horny. so. that’s a fun interesting interaction! also it could be the pure amt of casual porn i suppose i read but WHATEVER that’s been happening for years so why now huh.

also this has all been building up for. two years now id say but has finally reached a fever pitch as i have apparently had TWO friends confess recently! AND i only found out abt the other one when panicking abt the first (???) one to a friend and he mentioned me turning down the other which??? HAHAHA WHAT HAPPENED AND I DID WHAT?? so 🤪☺️ feelings are so fucking overrated i can’t believe i let people talk me into this shit

[neteluvr-library]

ANDRA BBY IM SO SORRY FOR THE SPAM AGAIN BUT LIKE....it must be done???? i dont make the rules ): don't mind me cruising through illicit affairs. now it is currently 1 am so if im a little unhinged now so please excuse my thoughts AHAHAHAH

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

ANDRA YOU CHEEKY BASTARD YOU!!!!!!! im gonna have to find every "just you and me" reference now.

You’d recognise this voice anywhere, for the rest of your life, this voice was going to be able to pull you out of the deepest shadows and into the light. You opened your eyes and willed them to focus past the tears, past the blood you could feel on your hands and feet and focus on the blue form talking to you.

SEFEHUGHBKRBJSGJRGBOENGFOBR IM FUCKING CRYING ITS TOO SWEET....but *spoilers for the archer* I LOVE HOW ATAN'S VOICE ALSO PULLED NETEYAM OUT OF HIS COMATOSE DREAMLIKE STATE IN THE ARCHER ): like everything really is a circle for them. they are A CIRCLE FOREVER CONNECTED FOR INFNITY

“Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths, can you do that for me? I need you to give me a sign you can hear me, Atan (light). Please, please.”

THE FIRST ATAN OF MANY??? THE FIRST CHARACTER NAME WE GET FOR Y/N????? not about illicit affairs but MiM...but im really glad Y/N has Vi as her nickname now like after atan and vol, it just didn't seem right that MiM y/n didn't have a name?? what else were we gonna refer to her as? SHE NEEDED A NICKNAME ATAN, VOL, AND VI ARE THE HOLY TRINITY. makes me wonder if y/n in false god will have an iconic nickname 😝

Your new body fit into his like the final piece of the puzzle you were both trying to solve all your lives.��

GGODAMN IT THIS IS TOO GOOD.

He was bawling now, bringing his knees to his chest and settling his head on them. “I feel like my being in her life will kill her.”

OOOF THIS PART!!! This scene is one of the best in illicit affairs because it gives great insight in why neteyam and atan's relationship is so straight. He's very noble in his reasoning and i think its logical. If atan is constantly hurt when he's around, he must be the issue right? WRONG!!!!! like seriously why did he think leaving was the best choice 😭 but also to know he loves her so much he is willing to leave her at the small chance of making her life easier (except it didn't) is so !!!!! (no words--sorry its 1 am). ITS LITERALLY JUST UNFORTUNATE COINCIDENCES AHHHHHHHHHH. i picture neteyam sobbing and heaving and it makes me so sad pls i want to hold him forever and reassure him that NO DO NOT LEAVE ATAN PLEASEEEEEE

“Your dad and I have not said anything until now, because we know. We’ve always known how you felt for her. And we wish that she could have been Na’vi, that this could happen for you, son, but maybe this is a sign from Eywa to look towards the future, to start finding your true mate, one who will not make you feel like this when you are around her. Love is not supposed to hurt, my son.”

OUCH because I actually feel very offended that Neytiri would even suggest that Neteyam's love for Atan is hurting him. Like yes, it is hurting him. But not in a way that's toxic and harmful. I think he just loves Atan so much that it is overwhelming and powerful which would cause him to be emotional and feel everything at a heightened level. Not because its Eywa's sign that his and Atan's love is not good ): ALSO LMFAO AT THE DIFFERENCE IN TPYINH FROM THIS NOTE COMPARED TO THE LAST....you can tell i feel serious when i start using formal punctuation and grammar HAHAAH

You couldn’t take another dream, another anything, so, popping two Xanax pills, you crashed your head into the pillow and hoped for a peaceful blackout. 

This may be controverisal...but i love Atan's drug addiction? NOT because I'm romanticizing it but I think its a very accurate portrayal of what depression can do you and i think it added a level of intensity that you don't see often in literature and fanfics. Like...how many times does the female main character have a drug addiction? I really enjoy the intensity of it because it adds a layer of rawness (I'm sorry I use this word a lot but i think its very applicable to your writing) and depth that i like to see in female characters. NOT ALL WOMEN ARE PRISTINE AND PERFECT AND GRACEFUL like yes we suffer too and sometimes that suffering manifest in less than pretty ways

“Ow, ow, ow!! Kiri, stop that! They were next to my sleeping bag, don’t leave your shit everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.” 

“NOT PEOPLE, LO’AK. YOU! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!”

HAHAHAH I LOVE THIS ITS SO FUNNY. BEST BROTHER SISTER DUO GOES TO LOAK AND KIRI

You saw it in yourself and your day to day struggle to empty your cup, your mind always looking for meaning, and answers, and ways to fix and analyse and quantify. Always requiring proof, never being able to just be and watch and observe things and beings for what they are, not what they could be.

This is very profound and fitting for human nature. We need to THINK less and SEE more.

He was gone most evenings while you had dinner with his family, and would only come back soon before you made your way to your tent.

This small detail. SOMETHING THAT SEEMS SO inconsequential....BUT IS NOT. i didn't pay attention to this line at first, but on my second read of illicit affairs i caught onto it 😒 you think you're funny planting these small details HUH?!?!??!!?

In it, you were weak, plagued by all your insecurities and fears and nightmares, all of which came out at night.

Same 🥰

“Well, it has a camera sight on the top for better aim and targeting. It has a second grip for better firing stability and has a long barrel that allows for higher muzzler velocity. Like most weapons used by humans, it can also fire 0226-LSAR ammo, and a grande launcher can be attached to the second grip.”

BABY IM SO SORRY I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS BUT...my brain did not process this at all when i first read this. i was like okay cool, BUT THEN YOU SAID YOU DID THE MOST RESEARCH ON GUNS AND I FELT SO BAD FOR NOT APPRECIATING IT. LIKE IT JUST ADDS SO MUCH MORE TO THE STORY AND IM FOREVER IN AWE OF HOW DEDICATED YOU ARE TO WRITING AND YOUR LORE? it didn't compute in my brain that you actually had to research this like ofc you didn't know this info out of your ass?

Jake has tried to be your dad for a long time and you just couldn’t bring yourself to allow that kind of love in your life anymore, not after knowing what it’s like to lose it. 

LET HIM IN YOU BIG DUMBO!!!!!! the truth is, you can crave something so bad (love) while simultaneously driving it away and that's exactly what atan is doing ): ... again same girl same 🥰 i also run away from what i want most bc of my insecurities 🥰

Pushing the knife against his throat, you applied pressure and made a cut. The boy tried his best to recoil, but the men did a better job at keeping him down than you thought they would. You took the knife and placed it on the ground, then took the syringe Lo’ak gave you and hollowed it out.

THIS PART TOO? LIKE YOU HAD TO RESEACH IT AND I WAS LIKE OH OKAY SHE JUST AUTOMATICALLY KNEW HOW TO DESCRIBE A TRACHEOSTOMY?? THATS A LOT OF RESEARCH FOR ONE CHAPTER. just know i appreciate it now!!!!!!

You were an angel. There was so much hurt and darkness in you, but somehow you managed to spread light everywhere you went. No matter how hard life got, you never lost the desire to do good, to be good, and Neteyam didn’t think he could love you any more than he did right at that second. 

WAHHHHH IM GONNA CRY ): NETEYAM ALWAYS THINKS THE SWEETEST MOST ENDEARING THINGS ABOUT ATAN. THAT IS A MAN IN LOVE!!! atan...light...angel...spread light. i aspire to be like atan and i hope i can radiate light like her even tho im struggling mentally AHAHAHA ):

“It was supposed to be done for your birthday, but it took me a lot longer than I thought carving the wood.” 

this is so cute but also the thought of a na'vi sized guitar is hilarious. that shit is a weapon. LITTLE SONGBIRD ATAN ❣️

I have this dream you're doing cool shit

Having adventures on your own

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home

We never painted by the numbers, baby

But we were making it count

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

GIRL FUCK YOU 😭😭 TIOEFJWIGSNINONHJOGOB S I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS????? I LITERALLY DONT REMEBER THE 1 BEING IN ILLICIT AFFAIRS. IM SOBBING BECAUSE I CAN ONLY ASSOCIATE THIS SONG WITH NETEYAM AND VOL NOW GHIHOIBA IM AHHHHHHHHHH it does fit very well in this scene. THE 1 GIVES ME SUCH A GUT REACTION I CANT ITS LIKE A TRIGGER BUT ALSO I LOVE IT SM WHYNWOULD YOU DO THIS ?

You didn’t realise you forgot to put a mask on in your distracted state, and with the hood prepped and ready to go, you removed the blood from the fridge where you kept it while everything you ready and made your way to your work station.

OOP- 😈

this was actually super longjfongnbaIG OKAY ITS ALMOST 2 AM SO IM DEFINITELY GOING TO SLEEP BUT I LOVE THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE ITS THE CATALYST FOR ALL THE SHIT THATS ABOUT TO GO DOWN AND I LIVE FOR THE CHAOS AND ANGST AHHHHHHHH

Illicit Affairs | Chapter V: All Too Well

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Neteyam's life changed when you came into his life the first time, and is now bound to change again, in ways neither of you could have ever predicted.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing, blood, descriptions of surgical procedures, some fluff.

Word Count: 9k words (wow)

A/N: Chapter 5 is coming out a little earlier than expected because I am too excited to wait. We finally get to discover a little more about what Neteyam's gone through and his decision to leave, so super chuffed about that. I am working really hard trying to balance writing for this and being a PhD student, but I am happy with the progress I am making and hope to be done with Chapter 6 in a couple days' time. Things are quickly unfolding, and there is a looot happening in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy <3 I'd love to hear your thoughts x

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did this love affair maim you too?

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” Neteyam ran faster than he knew he could and kneeled next to you. He was panting in heart-stopping fear, watching your shaking form and hearing your pained wails that were opening out so many holes in his chest, the pain was unbearable. He forced himself to try and remember what to do; this wasn’t your first flashback, this wasn’t the first flashback he’s had to walk you through. One, do not touch the person experiencing a PTSD flashback. Done. Two?

“Y/N. It’s me, it’s Neteyam, listen to me. You are with me in the the forest a couple clicks North-west of the village. It’s just you and me, there’s nothing happening to you right now. You’re safe. It’s just you and me.”

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

Everything hurt. You just wanted it over, you wanted everything to be over. You couldn’t hear or see anything around you, except yourself in a past you’d do anything to forget about. 

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

“It’s me. Hey, it’s me. You’re ok. We’re ok. You are with me now, you’re safe. Please come back.”

You’d recognise this voice anywhere, for the rest of your life, this voice was going to be able to pull you out of the deepest shadows and into the light. You opened your eyes and willed them to focus past the tears, past the blood you could feel on your hands and feet and focus on the blue form talking to you.

“Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths, can you do that for me? I need you to give me a sign you can hear me, Atan (light). Please, please.”

You tried your best to do as you were told. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Remembering his request, you nodded almost imperceptibly.

“I’m here. You’re safe. Please come back. It’s just you and me.” 

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

Neteyam… 

You slowly moved your hands, searching, desperately needing the feel of his warmth on you. He knew, he always knew. Without the smallest hesitation, he grabbed both of your hands in his. You looked at him, finally able to see in front of you, see what was real. He was real. Your tears fell freely down your cheeks, and without a second thought, you removed your hands from his and felt your arms reach out for him, for all of him. You hugged him tightly and sighed a breath of relief when he closed whatever space was left between you and held you close. Your new body fit into his like the final piece of the puzzle you were both trying to solve all your lives. 

You didn’t say a word. The world was moving on around you, but not you. You and Neteyam stood there, in the little corner of Pandora that suddenly felt a lot like a safe haven in the storm. 

“You’re ok to get up?” 

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Do you want me to carry you back?”

“No, thank you. I can walk.”

It was too late to continue training and you silently made your way back to the village. You felt embarrassed, and so you walked with your head down the whole way back. You knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about, there was nothing to be ashamed of, and yet, going back on your first day in this new body, having been given a second chance at a new life, you were disappointed that your nightmares didn’t seem to care which version of you they had to go through to resurface. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, Neteyam. I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m sorry you always seem to be around when these things happen.” 

If only you knew how sorry he was that he was always around when these things happen.

He couldn’t be sure, but he can guess what triggered your flashbacks. He couldn’t lie and say that day didn’t haunt his dreams, too.

Neteyam made his way back to the village that evening shaking and in tears, and wanted nothing more to take his Ikran far away to a place no one would be able to find him. But alas, he took his bow from the stand in the family tent and slipped out unnoticed while everyone else was having a communal dinner by the bonfire. He walked furiously, still shaking, still crying, until he reached the training grounds he used to go to every day when he was younger. He saw broken arrows on the ground next to some of the targets and felt it was fitting for how he was feeling. Broken, like no amount of care could ever bring him back to the arrow he was currently holding in his hands. He made quick work of the targets he could easily spot, then worked his way through the harder ones until his body ached and his fingers bled from all the now-opened scabs. 

“Ma ‘itan (my son).” He heard a voice break through the shadows of the now fluorescent flora surrounding him. He saw his mum’s steps before he actually saw her, and turned his back to her before she could see him, truly see him.

Neytiri approached him slowly and gently took the bow from his hands. She placed it around her body and placed her arms on her son, one on his back and one on his chest, above his heart. 

“What is the matter, son?” 

“Nothing, mother. I will come home soon, I promise.” 

She reached over and wiped away her son’s tears with her thumb. 

“Please, tell me what happened.” 

Neteyam couldn’t hide anymore when a small guttural cry escaped his lips. His mum slowly moved him away from the practice area and sat him down on the grass, that illuminated under their weight. 

“Mum, I’m killing her.” 

He was bawling now, bringing his knees to his chest and settling his head on them. “I feel like my being in her life will kill her.”

“Y/N?” 

“Every time we are together, something happens to her that breaks her even more. She found her dad, mum. She found her dad’s skeleton racing me through the forest. I almost killed her once because I wanted to get her out and show her the forest, so I almost killed her on my Ikran.”

“Ma ‘itan…”

“She wouldn’t go outside if it wasn’t for me. I push her to go, because I hate seeing her like this, seeing her wasting away in a lab, I just want her to be better, and happy and free, like she used to be when we were kids. I push her to go, and every time it ends up making it worse.”

Neytiri waited for her son to release all the worry plaguing him. Her son kept everything inside, but if you were patient enough with him, he would let you in eventually. 

“Neteyam… you can’t blame yourself for these things. You had no way of knowing how these things would turn out. Yes, it was irresponsible to take her on the Ikran, but you were a child. You wanted to help, and she loved being on it. She told me it was the best thing she had ever done, and that she is grateful that you thought to take her with you. Your strong heart saved both of you from Toruk. I am sorry about what happened today, that must have been really hard on her, but you were just walking trough the forest together. Any other place on Pandora, and this wouldn’t have happened. This was just a horrible misfortune, but it’s not your misfortune to bear.”

Neteyam was crying so hard he felt himself running out of breath. 

“You didn’t see her, mum. I saw her, laying unconscious on the ground. I saw the blood, so much blood I didn’t even think such a small person could carry it. I thought she died. I have nightmares about that night that I will never be able to outgrow. You should have seen her today. She was shaking and screaming and clawing at her feet so hard, she won’t be able to walk for weeks. Why must everything bad in the world must happen to her, mum?”

“We don’t know what Eywa has in store, ma ‘itan. She protects the balance of life, and maybe there is a reason for all this hurt. We can only help her the best way we know how, by loving her and being there for her. We have to hope that that’s enough.” 

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, mum. I don’t think I can watch her suffer anymore. It’s killing me. I love her, mum. I love her so much and there is nothing I want more in the world than to take her hurt and make it go away.”

“Neteyam, I think sometimes it is better to realise a hard truth early than live with a comfortable reality until the cracks in your heart are too deep to ever be able to be mended. Maybe both of you just need some time apart, to grow and heal on your own. I know you love her, Neteyam. But she will never be yours. She’s not one of us, son. You will never be able to be mated. I know you love her, but she is human. So maybe some time apart will allow you to move on, and then you can be there for her, as her friend, as someone who can help her navigate this life whilst living your own.”

“Your dad and I have not said anything until now, because we know. We’ve always known how you felt for her. And we wish that she could have been Na’vi, that this could happen for you, son, but maybe this is a sign from Eywa to look towards the future, to start finding your true mate, one who will not make you feel like this when you are around her. Love is not supposed to hurt, my son.”

He looked over to the girl walking close to him, the girl who was now no longer just a human, but an Avatar, a girl who had a chance to be one of the people one day, but whose demons did not diminish over time at all, and he wondered if they ever will. 

Soon enough, the lights of the village came into view and you were not ready to have to talk to anybody, explain to anybody when there were no words to describe the pain and anguish inside your heart. You wanted sleep, a deep sleep that wouldn’t cease in the morning. 

“How about you just go to your tent for the night? You can catch up with the family tomorrow morning. I will tell them you worked really hard and since this was your first day in a new body, you just need some rest.” 

You let out a big sigh of relief, and nodded silently at Neteyam, grateful and unnerved at his uncanny ability to understand your needs almost better than you were able to understand them yourself.

“Irayo (Thank you).”

Your tent felt cold and uninviting when you entered it, but you couldn’t be bothered to think about it too hard, and, as you let yourself collapse on the mat that would qualify as a bed for the foreseeable future, you thought about all the new challenges that dawn will bring. 

“That’s right, come on back, Ace. That’s it.” 

The light was blinding you, as your eyes adjusted to your newfound environment. You groaned slightly and removed the metal cage trapping you to the linkpod. With heavy legs, you got up and stretched your body as well as you could, trying to ignore the tingling of your limbs as the blood flowed through them properly for the first time in over half a day. 

“So, how was it?” Norm was almost besides himself excited, and you knew you had to lie, because telling him it was one of the hardest, most excruciating days of your life might dampen the current mood. 

“Hard, but a lot of fun! I learnt to ride a Pa’li, and Tsaheylu is unlike anything I have ever experienced. There really is nothing like it in this body that can compare.” 

“Ah, I’m glad to hear it. Do you have plans for tomorrow?”

“I think just more of the same? I’ll start learning how to shoot a bow soon, too. I, for one, think I’ll kick ass at it.” You said, hoping your amused tone and sly comments were enthusiastic enough to be perceived as authentic. 

“I’m sure you will, Ace. You off to bed?”

“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” 

Your human face staring back at you in the mirror looked somewhat better than the muddy, cried-out one you left behind at the village, but that doesn’t mean much when both bodies shared a soul, one that looked much worse than either of them could ever reflect. 

You couldn’t take another dream, another anything, so, popping two Xanax pills, you crashed your head into the pillow and hoped for a peaceful blackout. 

The next day, you were back in your Avatar body before dawn, and made your way towards the Sully tent, dedicated to make this work. It took a while to get the mud off your body at the nearby river, but eventually you thought you looked presentable enough to go ahead with the day. You promised Lo’ak, and Jake, and Norm, and yourself, that you would make this work, or at least give it a good college try. 

“Can I come in?” You remember to speak in Na’vi, and find the family eating breakfast around the fire. 

“Lo’ak you skxawng, you stepped on the herbs I spent all of yesterday collecting.” Kiri was screaming at Lo’ak and hitting him across the arm while he was trying to defend himself as best he could from the continuous onslaught.

“Ow, ow, ow!! Kiri, stop that! They were next to my sleeping bag, don’t leave your shit everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.” 

“NOT PEOPLE, LO’AK. YOU! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!” 

“Bro, remove your girl before she maims me.” Lo’ak directed his attention to the human boy sitting in the corner, just laughing and enjoying the show.

You couldn’t help laugh at the scene, fondly remembering all the times Lo’ak and Kiri bickered like twins - there was no doubt in your mind these two were made to be siblings. 

Neteyam, sitting in a corner in silence, sharpening his knife, glanced up at you inquisitively. You didn’t like how intimate his gaze felt and with the perspective of a new day, you knew it was a mistake to allow him so close to you yesterday, to allow yourself to touch him and hug him and pull his body close to yours like he was your life support machine. A mistake. You don’t make mistakes. 

“Maite, come, sit, eat.” Neytiri came in and pushed you closer to the fire, placing her hands on your shoulders and forcing you to sit. She gave you fruits and seeds and motioned for you to go ahead. “Tell me how yesterday went! Neteyam told us you are much better at your Pa’li training than their dad ever was.” 

“Hey, I can hear you, you know?” Jake said, taking a break from cleaning a rifle to scowl lovingly at the mother of his children. 

“Well, I can’t speak to Jake’s proficiency, but I think it went well. Great Mother, the Tsaheylu was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, I never knew it was possible for a feeling like that to exist.” 

“Wait til you bond with an Ikran.” Lo’ak interjected. “It’s fucking awesome.” 

“LANGUAGE!” Said Jake at the same time Neytiri sent a hiss in her younger son’s direction. 

You and Neteyam made your way to the archery practice area. There were many people there, most of them accompanying their young kids learning to use a bow and arrow for the first time, learning to one day be able to pull their weight for the sake of the village and their loved ones. You stared in awe at the determination these children had, how unwavering and brightly it shone. It must be nice to be sure of the life ahead of you, be sure of your purpose and your future. 

“Right. Unlike Spider, you have not had any practice with our bows, so we have to go back to basics. There are things you always have to keep in mind when you shoot an arrow, and these things will take time. In time, it will become second nature to you, but practice makes perfect - although true for anything, it is especially true in this case.”

“First, your stance.” 

He removed his bow from around his body and demonstrated. You couldn’t help stare at him, couldn’t help trace your eyes all over his body, that was now fully on display for you, and adjusted your posture to now accommodate for the heat you felt in between your thighs at the sight. Fuck. 

He smirked at you and dropped the stance. “I’m going to need you to focus. Can you do that?”

You raised an eyebrow and looked at him, an annoyed look crossing you features. “Yes, I can do that. Don’t patronise me.”

He raised his hands, as if relenting, and apologised with a small smile. 

You raised the bow you were holding in your right hand and try to mimic his posture the best you could. He circled you, analysing every aspect of your stance, his gaze pausing on some aspects more than others. 

“Your knees are too straight. You have to bend them a little.” You did as you were told, no questions asked. You trusted he knew what he was talking about more than you’d ever be able to argue him on. 

One of his legs made his way between yours and slightly tugged at one, and you hissed at the contact. “Your feet need to be aligned with your shoulders.”

“Your feet also need to be parallel to the target.” You adjusted your feet slightly, focusing on trying to assimilate everything he was saying. You were nothing if not a good student. 

“Good. Remember, good stance means good posture, means consistent good shots.” 

He was a good teacher, you noted. Calm and patient, he took his time and never talked down to you. He explained well and was attentive to details, and you couldn’t help think this is, once again, proof of Neytiri and the clan’s influence on him. Whereas his two younger siblings were chaotic and a lot more human in their demeanour and behaviour, Neteyam was quiet, focused and determined. A true leader, a true warrior. The perfect son, Lo’ak words ring in your ears. 

He circled you once more, and you noticed your arms were starting to get tired. You didn’t complain, though. You were not going to be weak - couldn’t be weak. 

He placed a hand on your back and the other on one of your shoulders, willing them back in a straight position. Your body buzzed at the contact and you had to suppress a shiver running down your spine. “Your back always has to be straight. Not hunched, but not over-arched, either.” 

He placed both his hands on your hips, and you froze into place. His figure was towering over you, you could feel him, feel his warmth radiating on your back. He kept his distance, so as to not attach himself to you, and gently pulled your hips backwards. Your breath was laboured now, you knew, and let out a silent prayer that he couldn’t hear you, couldn’t hear your heart beat that you were sure was so loud it was noticeable within a 2 click radius. 

“Your hips have to be straight, too. No bending them forwards or backwards.” 

This went on for a while, just a slow torture that you thought was never going to end, until at some point, a few hours later, he finally allowed you to shoot an arrow. The pain you felt in between your shoulder blades and arms was nearing unbearable, but still, you soldiered on. You tried to keep in mind everything he told you all at once, and with a (hopefully) correct stance, posture, grip and bow arm, it was time to work on your release. Your fingers were cramping from holding the bow so tightly in between them, and with a slight whimper, you let go. 

He followed the arrow with his eyes, all the way through the air and past the target, getting stuck on the ground somewhere beyond view. He turned his attention back to you. 

“That was not horrible. Your arm is too low.” he says while gently placing a hand on your arrow-holding arm and moving it upward, furthering the pain you felt in between your shoulder blades. He moved his hand downwards and placed it on your abdomen. You gulped, and saw the ghost of a smile on his face. “Your core is not engaged, Y/N. Take a deep breath.” He waited for you to do as you were told. “Hold like this. Txur nì'ul. Stronger.”He didn’t remove his hand, that damn hand, until he was satisfied with your form, then let go. “Again.”

You spent your days like this, training, running, discovering Pandora’s flora and fauna, not as a scientist, but as a hunter and as an apprentice, with timid curiosity and appreciation for the life in front of you. For the first time in your life, you tried to see beyond the science and really see the miracles happening around you. Neteyam told you something on one of your walks that stuck with you. 

“When you see nothing, you will see everything.”

You see more and more why scientists, why your mother or Grace, or Norm or Max, could never make it here. It wasn’t because of survival, or training, or skill. You saw it in yourself and your day to day struggle to empty your cup, your mind always looking for meaning, and answers, and ways to fix and analyse and quantify. Always requiring proof, never being able to just be and watch and observe things and beings for what they are, not what they could be. This was all so unfamiliar to you, so strange, and you wondered if you were ever going to be able to see. 

After a while, the novelty of you, your alien body and blood ceased to be news to people and you were able to now be in the village without as much attention drawn to you, although the eyes never stopped completely. Not when you were always surrounded by at least one Sully, more often than not the two Sully brothers, the heirs to the Omatikaya rule. There was chatter in the village, you knew, about whether you were ever going to make it as one of the people, and how that would impact the future of the clan. Would they want yet another former Sky Walker as an integral part of their life, as their Tsahik, perhaps? 

The whispers of the people bothered you, but not enough to do anything about it. You knew they were baseless and premature, and had no intention of entertaining them. Lo’ak was your best friend, your brother that you loved and you knew loved you, and whatever other feelings he might have, you knew were just a side effect of hormonal growing pains. Lo’ak would outgrow you in time, and you were there to support him whenever he found a love worth harbouring. Neteyam, on the other hand, was a completely different story. The resentment you felt has never diminished in time, although the ice did melt a little after your fateful first day together. You made no efforts to engage with him outside of practice and he reciprocated the effort (or lack thereof) with the same enthusiasm. He was gone most evenings while you had dinner with his family, and would only come back soon before you made your way to your tent. You didn’t hate each other, but that was about the extent of your relationship. The intensity and heat you felt every time he touched you or looked at you in a certain way has also never diminished in time, but you knew yourself and your body enough to be able to resist him, at least until nighttime, when you were a human again and had a bed to yourself. 

You spent your nights mostly by yourself in the lab, determined to not fall behind on your lab work. You found having to have two completely different approaches to life very difficult, but in time, it was like you became two different people. You don’t think they’d like each other very much. Your life was split in two, and the bodies you inhabited made it easier on you to differentiate between the two halves. Your human body was weak, progressively weaker as time went on and you forsook the time to exercise it. In it, you were weak, plagued by all your insecurities and fears and nightmares, all of which came out at night. Your Avatar body was strong, progressively stronger with every day you spent running and training in the forest. In it, you were strong. A warrior, proud and determined and eager to learn. You laughed, and danced, and made conversation and learnt how to craft your own necklaces with Kiri whenever training with Neteyam got too much. You took Lo’ak by the hands and dragged him through the forest, laughing and swinging through trees. You took to Mo’at and tried to learn the healing ways of the Tsahik, as opposed to your mother’s medical training. Life was heaven in one body and hell in the other, and you couldn't tell which one haunted you more.

“Again.” Neteyam spoke over the voices of kids practising their target practice next to them. He had to admit to himself he was impressed with your progress. He knew he shouldn’t be, you were the most impressive and stubborn person he had ever met. He used to watch you patch and suture the Avatars in the lab when you were 13. They said your stitches were the best amongst the remaining humans. He watched you go from a child to a woman who seemed to know everything there was to know about everything. He didn’t know why he didn’t realise before this was going to be the same. You were irksome. 

You shot another bullseye and turned around to face him, smiling cockily and did a curtsy, he thought it was called. He rolled his eyes, but smiled at your satisfaction. 

“You can keep me here all day, I’ll just keep doing it, if not for anything else, just to spite you.” 

“Fine, we’re done. You are dismissed.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, in that way you always did, that way that drove him fucking crazy. Being next to you every day was driving him crazy. He didn’t know what hell he must have inflicted on a past life to warrant this. Always watching you, and knowing that stolen glances will always have to be enough. 

You started making your way back towards the village, and he followed you. It was such a stark contrast to your first day in this body. You looked confident, and happy. He wondered if it was real, if it was possible that it was indeed that easy, and being here, outside with them was enough to wash your nightmares away, to heal you. He felt a flicker of hope raising in his chest. Stop, Neteyam. What the fuck are you doing?

The village was quiet at this time of day, most people gone on hunts or rides or training. Neteyam heard his dad’s voice booming in the family tent and knew Lo’ak was in deep shit again. He sighed. Baby brother, why do you always have to make things so hard?

“Dammit, Lo’ak, we went through this for a month. A whole ass month. What is this called?” 

When you and Neteyam entered the tent, you found the two Sullys sitting on the ground, with the patriarch towering over Lo’ak with a gun in his hand. 

“I don’t know, sir.” 

“I don’t want to hear that. Do you fucking understand what we’re doing here? Do you understand the humans could be back any fucking day now? War is coming, do you understand this, boy? And you will straighten up, Lo’ak, or I swear to God you will not be allowed to ride an Ikran again for the rest of your life.” 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” 

Neteyam felt you wince at his dad’s words, and he knew you felt bad for his brother. He did so, too. But also understood that his dad is only trying to make sure they are ready for the time they will inevitably have to go to war. He can’t imagine the pressure on his shoulders at training his own kids to be prepared to avoid their own death and bring death upon others.

“Now, we went through this multiple times. What is this gun?”

He felt the silence bearing down on him, and then heard your voice raise above it.

“It’s a M69-AR, sir. It’s a machine-gun.” 

All eyes in the room snapped shocked to you. You shifted uncomfortably in place, but your gaze did not falter from where you were looking at Jake.

“How do you know that?”

You looked down at the ground, and hesitated before speaking again. 

“I have trained with guns I have found over time for a few years, sir. My dad and the other soldiers in the unit left manuals, training videos, ammo in the lockers. I have found it and learnt about it. I never expected to get an Avatar, but I did not want to be defenceless.”

Neteyam saw his dad and realised he can’t tell what he was thinking at the moment. A mixture of fear, confusion and awe was what he was able to spot. 

“Alright… what’s the caliber of this gun, kid?” 

“.50 caliber BAT.”

“Ok, walk me through the gun’s characteristics.”

You didn’t flinch under the scrutiny of his gaze.

“Well, it has a camera sight on the top for better aim and targeting. It has a second grip for better firing stability and has a long barrel that allows for higher muzzler velocity. Like most weapons used by humans, it can also fire 0226-LSAR ammo, and a grande launcher can be attached to the second grip.”

Lo’ak’s face dropped, and although he had better control over his emotions, Neteyam realised he was also staring at her with a similar expression plastered on his face. 

“Did you ever shoot it?”

“No, I haven’t. I only shoot a standard 8mm handgun, in the woods next to the lab whenever everyone’s preoccupied or out. But I know how to clean it, field-strip it and load it.”

“So nobody knows you’ve been training on guns for years?”

“No, Sir.” 

“I can’t describe to you how stupid and dangerous this was. I didn’t think you of all people were prone to life-threatening idiocy.” 

You felt your gaze harden under his scrutiny and the familiar feel of anger bubbling in your stomach. 

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I will not stand and watch as the humans come back and ruin everything my mother’s fought for and I will not apologise for it.”

You saw Jake stand up, straighten his back and for the first time in your life, you feared the man sitting in front of you.

“Don’t you dare bring your mother into this. Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to put your life in danger carelessly, getting involved in things you know nothing about. She asked me to take care of you, to teach you. All you had to do was fucking ask. All you had to do is come out of that damn lab and allow us to be part of your life, the way we have wanted to be for years.” 

You felt tears pricking at your eyes and without another word, you turned on your heels and left. 

You entered your tent and closed the flap shut as well as you could, half-considering using one of the suture kits that now resided in it to sew it together so no one can open it. You fell on your sleeping mat with a huff, and took hold of one of the books you have brought to your tent in the couple months you have been here. Your gaze stopped on one of your favourite poems, and repeated the lines to yourself, like a litany needing to be uttered.

“I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted

To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.

How free it is, you have no idea how free——

The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,

And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.

It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them   

Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.”

You stared at the page for a long time, and let your mind wander. Why would he talk to you this way?

Because he cares about you. 

You thought he would be happy, proud of you for being strong, being independent and self-sufficient. You took care of yourself, you would be able to take care of others, of the people you loved. 

But maybe he doesn’t think you should have to do this by yourself. 

Why should you be ashamed of that? Ho doesn’t understand you, never tried to see things from your perspective. 

Maybe cause you never allowed him to know you enough to be able to understand.

He’s not your dad. He has no right to talk to you this way.

He wanted to be your dad, you just always kept him at arm’s length. You’ve always kept everyone at arms length.

You wanted to slap the version of yourself talking back to you. You really are such an annoying person, sometimes. And you hate that you make sense when you didn’t want to make sense. You wanted to be mad and tell him to keep his bossing around to his own children and leave you be, but you couldn’t. Not when the annoying you was right - Jake has tried to be your dad for a long time and you just couldn’t bring yourself to allow that kind of love in your life anymore, not after knowing what it’s like to lose it. 

A scream coming from the village pulled you out of your train of thought, and you made your way outside in a hurry. 

“Help! Help!!” 

You recognised the voice; Ewoaì, one of the most talented hunters of the village, was running holding a motionless body in his arms. His young brother, you noted. 

“He can’t breathe, he stopped breathing. Please, someone help! Where is the Tsahik?” 

Jake and the Sully boys emerged from inside their tent with a concerned look on all their faces. Neteyam spoke. “The Tsahik and tsakarem are away, at the Tree of Souls. They will not make it back in time.” 

Fuck, you thought. 

“Bring him here, NOW.” You spoke over the commotion. All the people who had gathered to see what was happening turned their gazes to you. Ewoaì ran to you. “Place him on the ground.” 

“Lo’ak.” You looked at the young boy, trying to assess the situation the best you could. You heard Lo’ak make his way towards you. 

“In my tent, there is gauze and disinfectant, it has the name 2% chlorhexidine isopropanol, find it and bring it. There should also be a yellow injection that says EPIPEN on it. Bring a syringe as well, no needle. Hurry.” 

You turned your attention to the man holding his younger brother in his arms. “Remove his necklace, now.” 

You started to check for signs of what was causing his asphyxiation. You opened his mouth and looked inside the best you could for food, or anything else that could be blocking his airways. You didn’t see anything. He didn’t seem to be having an anaphylactic shock; no rash and his heartbeat seemed strong. You were going to have to figure out the cause at a later time, but for now, your best bet, his best bet, was a tracheotomy. 

Lo’ak scrambled out of your tent, almost dropping some of the things on the way. He put them next to you in a hurry. 

You removed your hands from the boy’s body and moved quickly to apply some of the antiseptic on the gauze and wipe his throat with it. You got up, removed your knife from the holder on your chest, and made your way towards the nearest fire. You placed the blade over the fire and hoped that would do enough to sterilise it. For good measure, you also wiped it with the solution currently still on the gauze.

You made your way back to the boy and lifted your gaze to his brother. 

“This is going to hurt. I don’t have the tools to put him to sleep. I need you to hold him tightly by the arms. I need you to be strong for him. Strong heart. Neteyam, hold his feet. Don’t let go.”

You took your knife with one hand, whilst your other hand, tried to find the cricothyroid membrane, hoping it would be in a similar location to a human’s. Pushing the knife against his throat, you applied pressure and made a cut. The boy tried his best to recoil, but the men did a better job at keeping him down than you thought they would. You took the knife and placed it on the ground, then took the syringe Lo’ak gave you and hollowed it out. Carefully, you placed it inside the hole you made. You lowered your body and placed your mouth on the syringe. Sucking on it, you were relieved to feel air coming out, and you started breathing into the tube until you felt the boy starting to breathe again on his own. You removed yourself from his proximity and monitored until you were sure his breathing was stabilised. 

You let out a huge sigh of relief. You finally felt like you could look Ewoaì in the eye. “He’ll be fine.” 

His brother let out a shaky breath and extended his hand in front of you. Smiling softly, you took it in your own and felt his grip tighten at the contact. 

“Thank you. You saved his life. Thank you.”

“You can take him home. I’ll come by later and check on him, and if he’s breathing right, I’ll take it out.” 

You rose from the ground and tried to get your laboured breath to slow down. You did it. Tears started pooling in your eyes and you realise your hands were shaking when you went to wipe the them before they fell. Your attention turned to the Sully men waiting by your side. They all looked like they were -

-in awe. Neteyam was in awe. You were breathtaking. He heard this English word, angel, from his dad, a long time ago, and when he asked what it meant, his dad told him it was someone pure and good, who helps others and brings comfort in times of hurt…someone whose light can illuminate the darkest times. He didn’t know what that meant until he met you. You were an angel. There was so much hurt and darkness in you, but somehow you managed to spread light everywhere you went. No matter how hard life got, you never lost the desire to do good, to be good, and Neteyam didn’t think he could love you any more than he did right at that second. 

You gave him a quick look and he could see the fear in your eyes and the unshed tears, and the trembling hands. You were scared. Before he could move a muscle, Lo’ak took you and encircled his arms around you in a bear hug. You stood there in shock for a second while it registered, then slowly brought your hands up to his back to reciprocate the hug. You closed your eyes and nuzzled your head in his neck, and Neteyam moved his gaze to his feet, feeling the now all-too-familiar darkness of jealousy spread through him like poisonous gas. 

Eventually, Lo’ak let you go, and you moved closer to Jake. You were trying to meet his eyes, but he could tell you were scared… or ashamed. He saw you take a big breath and swallow audibly. 

“Jake, I am…”

“I know, Kid.” Neteyam was surprised to see his dad’s gaze, so angry and unflinching just 30 minutes ago, soften when his eyes looked at you. It was his turn now to hug you.

“You did good, kid.” 

You let out a soft cry and he saw the tears fall freely from your face. You smiled, and for the first time since you were back in his life, saw that you looked actually content. 

“Come.” Jake released you from the hug and made his way towards his tent. You followed suit and saw him picking up a gun from the floor and pointing at another. It was a standard assault rifle and you kneeled down next to it.

“Put it back together.” You did as you were told, skilfully putting each component of the weapon in its place. Before you moved on, you made sure everything was in order, and then you picked the appropriate 6.2x35mm 80-round magazine from the mix that was on the floor. You attached the magazine and took two more of them and placed them on your person. 

“Good. Let’s go.”

You and the three Sullys walked steadily for a while. Lo’ak and Jake went ahead while you and Neteyam stood back. He was close to you, too close, and you felt his right hand almost brushing yours. You looked up at him, and saw he was already watching you. His expression instantly sent shivers down your spine - it reminded you of how he used to look at you before. It was intense and soft and loving. You saw his eyes dropping to your lips, which parted in response and felt so exposed, so vulnerable… so fucking mad. He did not get to do this. He did not get to give up on you are like were a bad drug and then come back and give you this look. 

You expression hardened and you removed your eyes from his and stared at Jake’s back, which was all of a sudden a lot more interesting than it had been 5 seconds ago. You crossed your arms over your chest and walked in silence the rest of the way. 

You reached the spot soon after, and you noticed it was a similar training area, like the archery one, but this one had targets made of shrubbery that resembled a person, which had remnants of bullet holes in them. I see…

“Ok, kid, let’s see what you can do. Shoot the target in front of you, head and chest.” 

You took a big gulp and positioned your body. This was a lot of pressure, with the eyes of Toruk Makto and his heirs staring right at you. You took one last look at the weapon, then loaded it. You aim, then shoot. The gun surprises you a little, as you find the recoil a lot stronger than the handgun you usually practice on and the fire rate unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Still, you adjust fairly quickly, then try again. Within 3 tries, you were able to hit the target exactly where Jake asked you to, and as to not waste any more ammo, you stop. 

Lo’ak is ululating and clapping, so happy for you, even though he was probably going to get in trouble for not being a better shooter than a girl who spent her whole life in a lab. He didn’t care. He loved seeing you do well, seeing you adapt. He couldn’t wait for the day you two would go on Ikran rides together and he could show you all the beauty of this world, the way you deserved.  

“I see. Neteyam, from now on, I want you both at gun practice and lessons, do you copy? She can learn everything else in the spare time, but I want her there. She’s way too good to waste on Pa’li training.”

“Yes, sir.” 

In the evening, you went by Ewoaì’s tent and checked on his younger brother. His airways were clear again so you were able to remove the syringe and stitch up the tracheotomy incision you performed earlier. You sat with them whilst inspecting the child’s condition. He wasn’t well. He had a fever and intermittent shortness-of-breath. His abdomen was in pain and he had a laceration forming on one of his calves. You made a note to bring some more supplies from the lab, and with that, took your leave. 

Dinner was pleasant, you ate with the Sullys in their tent, as you do most nights these days, and enjoyed the conversation that did not include you. It was nice to just be around their family and experiencing their tight-knit unit up close. There was laughter, and bickering, and animated discussions about what went on and what’s to come. Jake told Neytiri, Moat, Kiri and Tuk about Ewoaì and his brother, about the guns and the target practice, and they all looked at you with admiration. You blushed and thanked them, deciding the floor was particularly interesting tonight. 

“I think Y/N should sing for us! I haven’t heard her beautiful voice in such a long time!” Said Neytiri, smiling fondly

“Oh, I don’t have my guitar!”

You saw Neteyam’s eyes go wide, a rare sight for a man who prides himself on his composure. He stood up from his place around the fire pit, and went to a part of the tent that had a hidden nook in it; you’ve never seen what was there, but assumed there lay the family trinkets, Jake’s guns, clothes, etc. Neteyam came out from behind it holding… a guitar, you realised in shock. A big guitar, that would fit your new hands perfectly. Too stunned to speak, you just looked at him with your mouth agape, and he laughed at your expression. 

“This was supposed to go slightly differently, but alas, it’s as good a time as any to give this to you.” 

“It was supposed to be done for your birthday, but it took me a lot longer than I thought carving the wood.” 

Your eyes flickered between him and the guitar, and then turned to look at Kiri, who had a big smile and waited expectantly for your response.

“…you made this?”

“Well, me and Norm.” He looked almost bashful, and he reminded you so much of young Neteyam that your heart ached and you hoped you could prolong this moment forever. 

“He helped me with the design and the metal work, I had to hunt a few good animals to get the gut for the strings, but I think it turned out alright! He tried it and tuned it and it seemed to sound good, but I guess we’ll see when you play it.” 

You were still unsure what to say, unsure how to speak or form words or thoughts. 

“Neteyam, I don’t know what to say…”

“Say you’ll accept it? And that you’ll forgive me for what I said on your birthday? I really am a kurkung (asshole) sometimes, and I am sorry.” 

You nodded almost imperceptibly. His face broke out into a smile, a stupidly handsome smile that stopped your world and shifted it on its axis and you knew, you knew he was doing it, the impossible, he was getting you to forgive him, to forget the hurt and pain he put you through. And you hated yourself for being weak, but you also just allowed yourself a second, just a second to remember what it was like to have him in your life, have him radiate his warmth like he was the sun your soul orbited around.

“Will you sing now?” asked Tuk innocently, and you had to concede.

You toiled for a while with ideas of what song to pick. There was only one that came to mind in this exact moment, thinking of the man you still loved so much, loved as much as you did when you were 10 and he brought you the bracelet, at 13 when he took you on your very own magic carpet ride, at 16 when he held you while you cried in his arms after your dad, and every day in between, the man you needed like air, like that damn oxygen pack you hated, whose touch made you come alive and set your mind ablaze. 

You picked up the guitar and tuned the chords, slowly caressing them to get the sound just right. It was perfect, much better than the guitar you had at home. It was perfect. You started strumming a familiar song, that you never sang to them, to him, before, that you sang to yourself in that year apart and you wanted him to hear it, wanted him to know.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit

Having adventures on your own

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home

We never painted by the numbers, baby

But we were making it count

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

You looked at him, and sang to him. He looked sad, like it was hurting him to watch you, hear you again. You used to play just for him all the time, singing feelings you never had the guts to say out loud, and here you were again, confessing something probably better left unsaid.

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family

And it would've been sweet

If it could've been me

In my defence, I have none

For digging up the grave another time

But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one

You finished the song and heard clapping from all around you and knew you had to acknowledge the others eventually. With a last look at Neteyam, you turned around and smiled and did a little hand curtsy as a joke. 

It was a good night.

You made your way to your tent quite late that night and you saw Lo’ak waving at you until you entered, placing your new guitar slowly on the ground. You lay down and tried your very best to fall asleep, which you felt was impossible, considering you were still reeling after the day you had. Eventually, sleep came, and you woke up back in the linkpod, with Norm’s face coming into focus slowly.

“Hey, Ace. How was your day?”

“Eventful, to say the least. One of the kids in the village needed an emergency tracheotomy. Thank God I had some supplies in the tent, which reminds me - I need to prepare more that I will come to pick up tomorrow, or you can drop to my tent if you make your way to the village.”

“Jesus. What the hell happened?”

“I think it’s this damn virus, Norm. I monitored the kid for an hour in the evening, his airways cleared, but he still had shortness of breath, a fever, gastrointestinal symptoms, and this weird laceration on his calf. His brother’s not sick, so the virus is not transmitted through air - at least I hope not, considering I shared the air in the tent with the guy for a while.” 

“Fuck. I will go check on him tomorrow and maybe take some blood. You can run some tests if you want to and have the time.” 

“I have some blood from someone else with similar symptoms. I will run the tests tonight, can’t really sleep anyway.”

“Ok, be careful, alright? This is not a joking matter, especially to us.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.”

You changed in some clothes better suited for a night working in the lab, put on your goggles, lab coat and gloves, and got to work. You were half paying attention to prepping the laminar flow hood and half thinking of the crazy day you had, thinking of Neteyam and his smile and his apology and ugh, you hated him. 

You didn’t realise you forgot to put a mask on in your distracted state, and with the hood prepped and ready to go, you removed the blood from the fridge where you kept it while everything you ready and made your way to your work station.

In a second, everything changed. That’s all it took, a second for your whole life to completely turn upside down, yet again. It always only took a second. A second for your mum to take her last breath, a second for you to fall off an Ikran, a second to step on your dad’s remains, a second to lose the love of your life, a second to watch the vial drop and shatter all over the floor, splattering blood all over your body and on your face, in your open mouth that screamed in shock at the instant loss of a future. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi

[ykintsaiwfml]

Post #5:

September 28, 2023 - 6:13pm

Wow another one so close together? I must be going through it. I don't really feel like I am but I lowkey feel it? But also I think I'm supposed to get my period next week or something and this is usually the time I start to spiral. There's also a full moon tomorrow saurrrr babes it's not my fault. Anyways, I'm currently house/dog sitting and my mind is going a million miles a minute kinda but I feel like that's because I'm literally just here by myself with the dog so yeah lmao. I've been so exhausted lately, not totally sure why but I'm like pls I need to refocus and stay motivated especially with MCA III coming up.

It's so crazy that I really just can go soooo many days without thinking about C and thinking/feeling I'm so much better off without him and by myself to a total flip and being like "are you thinking of me too" "do you miss me" "are you wondering what I'm doing right now" "I keep thinking and envisioning you with me and I can hear your laugh, your voice and I remember like it's imprinted into me the way it feels to be in your arms". And then I can go back to being "I ain't thinkin bout you tonight" "deuces!" type shit LMFAO. Oh jeeeeez. But it's never I can't be without you. Because I can. I can be by myself. I know that I deserve the best and you weren't giving that. You sure offered it after fucking up a handful of times but it always comes down to why did it even have to come to that if you had sworn you changed and were different and blah blah blah. It's crazy tho cause I still feel like you're the one. Ness asked me "what makes you think he's the one?" And I always say "I just know and feel it in my soul." And then she says "but I feel like you haven't dated around enough to really know if that's true" which maybe she's right but I just feel in my bones that you are. But even though she says that, she knows how I feel and supports whatever will make me happy (she even rooted for you for soooo long, even when I was with R she wanted you to get your shit together so we could get back together LMFAO). Anyways, things happen for a reason even if I don't see the reason or understand the reason right now. Everything in God's divine timing. God's divine plan. I'm letting go and letting God handle all things above me.

ykintsaifml

(ps I forgot what that stands for LMFAO, well I know some of the letters but majority naurrrr HAHA)

6:27pm

[mllebabushkat]

☀️ Warrior Nun S2E3 🌙

ok lesgo ok lesgo oklesgo oklesgo oklesgoklesg

First min in and- !!!

"damn it to hell" then the Immediate sign of the cross HAHAHAHAHAHAA ICONIC

also bea actually Forgetting something?/ inconceivable-

ps i love whenever alba's portugese pronunciation shines through 🤩

pps i LOVE!!!! that Thing ava does whwenver she's with bea

where she holds her hands behind her back and rocks back and forth it's so cUTE PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺aaaaaa ykwim right

it's so innocent and adorable u don't get it i CANNOT HANDLE UGH

they are already giving off SUCH golden retriever gf + cool calm collected cat gf energy 🥰

lil shoutout to the thug-detecting scene that was neat

vincent el bastARDO >:((( ok fine the divinium tattoos are pretty cool

yessss ava's ✨cap reverse✨moment

ready to deck a bitch!!!!!

her combat has grown so much i am proud (as is bea i'm sure) :D

that tranq gun takedown was *mwah* perfect

"ava?" "!hi!" shit they're too cute <3

woozy bea is adorable~~~

hahahahaha the way cam yanks the two of them in

reunion scene yay my heart is a little fuller now <333333333

rip yasmine being reduced to a narrative dump character :")

burning question: how did duretti know?????? abt the adriel mole??

but oMG MUSEUM HEIST MUSEUM HEIST MUSEUM HEI-

i am vibrating off my chair yesss the montage

YESSSSS the grey habits they look SO CUTEEEEEE costumes dept still on point :D

particularly cam this is such a Look for her

that deliberate snake tempting eve painting backdrop? is that foreSHADOWING i spy?? :)

good lil cam + bea exchange i need more pls (again, valid points from both ends)

"god why have you forsaken me" wait wait what is this

bea's crisis of faith?

i need answers

"just a little theatre" excuse me duretti that was full on fucking torture lmao

good for him lol idm a lil iron maiden threatening

for me he's a meh guy with mostly the right idea but on the good side yknow, sorta the opposite of a likeable antagonist hahaha

NVM burning question answered if the zealots are leaving their tattoos uncovered willy nilly no wonder he found out,, can't cure stupidity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

rip jillian she just wants to science gotta respect that lol

oh and bring her son home (nitpick: that's a weirdass photo lmfao)

but wtaf was that face in the footage uhh

in other news

MUSEUM HEIST MUSEUM HEIST MUSEUM HEIST MU-

helpless old nun!mother superion hahahaha

getaway driver!yasmine hahahaha

okk yasmine development cmon, valid reaction but glad she came in :D

also whose necklace did she get???? mary's????????

oh no cam's horror sequence 😭😭

btw loving the return of the tactical outfits :)) and ava's slicked back short hair is 👌👌👌👌👌

OH SHIT the crown oh shit vincent OH NO OH N

lilith???????

goddam cliffhanger

ANYWAY

NEXT-

[bradshawsweetheart]

Here we go, me yelling again🤠

But this thing lying before you, the one wearing the skin of the man that loves you like a sacrilegious coat, does not deserve peace. Bradley does. Wherever he is, if he is alive, if he is dead, if he is asleep, if he is awake…Bradley deserves peace.  

The complexity of what’s going on is so masterful and I just want to cry LOL

Everyone is waiting for him to do something, save everyone. 

He wonders if they’ll remember him saying that. He wonders if they’ll remember anything he said or did. He wonders if they’ll remember the way his voice trembled. 

Javy baby😭 literal weight of the world on his and Nat’s shoulders

They will always remember what Miss Phoenix sounded like when Mister Bob died right there in front of everyone, his body pale and bloody and her wails deafening.

This is so heartbreaking and reminds me of the behind the scenes fact of the [REDACTED] movie where they had to cut the audio of Daniel Radcliffe’s wailing over Gary Oldman because it was too gut-wrenching🥲

“I’m a boy scout,” he answers incredulously. Like, duh. Of course. That’s how. 

I just cackled LMAO

But you. You’re someone he can help. You’re someone that just shot three times.

And she’s the someone with only one bullet left now ono

“Look at these guns, huh? Who’d wanna tussle with me?”

He’s trying so hard to reassure them I’m so sad LOL

He wonders, momentarily, if it will sound like that forever now that you’ve been choked within an inch of your life. 

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I’m from District 12.

Coyote’s eyes fall to the ground. You can see it written across his face--the grief, the shock. His brows knit and his lips turn down.

Oh baby :(((((

“He hasn’t done anything except crop his own shirts and-and make goo-goo eyes at Gale. Right? Something isn’t right here.” 

LMFAOOOOO SO TRUE!!

“Bradley isn’t my best friend,” Phoenix whispers. “Bob was.”

Oof, poor word choice Javy🥲

“You mean you?” Phoenix asks--her tone is pointed and frustrated, but you’re not angry with her. 

Natasha pls😭😭

“If he’s possessed…” Phoenix starts, scratching her head and wilting beneath the sun like a flower. “Could we get him back? Or is he gone for good?”

Phoenix is me messaging Millie after every update LMFAO

“What if we burned the ax?” Coyote says. “Like, that’s what happens in The Evil Dead. They burn the book and--!” 

So true Javy!! Become Ash Williams!!

“Look,” Coyote starts, glaring at Phoenix. His palms are sweaty. “We all know that you’re aching real bad about Bob, okay? But you’re not the only one who lost someone today. We all lost people today. We all lost Bob today.”

I mean… he has a point. Sorry babe. :(

“I need you guys to move the rock and lock me in there with him,” you tell them. Your fingers are numb. “And don’t let us out until it’s over.” 

I’m going to throw up I’m so tense

It’s been a cruel, cruel summer.

She said it!! She said the thing!!

“Birdie…” 

No. Stop right now.

“Birdie--what…what’s going on? Why am I tied up?” 

No more pretending to be him you stupid mf I will literally suplex you

“Please, I know this summer hasn’t been stellar, but don’t do this! Birdie, please!” 

I did laugh at this though LMAO

“You fucking whore!” He screams. “God--look what you’ve--you fucking bitch! You’re killing him! You’re killing him!” 

I would literally start sobbing I’m not going to lie

“Do you think I can’t find you again? I’ve been watching you for three summers…I saw what you did with him in the woods. I saw what you did with Jakey-boy in your cabin, you whore. I see everything you do. I’m always here. I live in your nightmares!” 

😦

“You’re leaving your friends again,” he whispers softly to you. “The ones you abandoned before…they’ve been calling out your name. They’ve been waiting for you. They want you to come to them. They’re all alone. And they’re so scared, dolly…they’re so scared without you there.” 

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

“Hold on,” you whisper to Bradley’s body. “Just hold on, alright?” 

I CRY!!!!!

So like… Jake’s dead, right? No one’s gone back for him and he’s surely bled out by now🥲

𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 — 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

—𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: 𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐒. 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍--𝐈𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃. —𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 𝟔.𝟗𝐊 —𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 —𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 —𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐃 —𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐒, 𝐌𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐏 𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐉𝐔𝐋𝐘 𝟐𝟐𝐍𝐃, 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟕

Panting, you stand over his body. He’s alive--his chest is rising and falling, his lashes are fluttering, and his fingers are twitching. Already there’s a violet bruise beginning to blossom in the middle of his forehead, one that will rise and ache. But for now, as you try to catch your breath and stop the ringing in your ears, he’s out cold. 

And for one fleeting moment, as everything around you becomes muffled from the blood cottoning your ears, you’re overcome with envy. Envy that he is lying down, with his eyes closed, and his body at rest. Envy that he can just be. 

What you wouldn’t give to just lie down and be.

His lashes flutter again--Bradley’s lashes. He doesn’t wake, doesn’t really stir. He looks, almost, peaceful. But this thing lying before you, the one wearing the skin of the man that loves you like a sacrilegious coat, does not deserve peace. Bradley does. Wherever he is, if he is alive, if he is dead, if he is asleep, if he is awake…Bradley deserves peace.  

The envy fades just as suddenly as it appears--replaced with an immeasurable, gut-wrenching rage. One that dominates the ache in your muscles and the tired in your bones and the heaviness of your eyelids and the thumping inside of your chest. It burns your fingertips--singes the ends of your hair and makes all the blood come rushing to your face. 

“Fuck you,” you whisper to all this flesh and bone. Your voice does not sound like it’s coming from your mouth--it sounds like it’s coming from the mouth of a woman disturbed, pushed to the brink, close to the edge, enervated, frantic. And with a resounding and overwhelming heave, you realize that all of this is true. “I got you.”

Of course, you’re not talking to Bradley when you say this. You’re only looking at him.

He does not respond. 

Reaching into your pocket, your grip still firm on the shotgun, you finger the casings you have left. Four. You have four bullets left. And for the first time today--for the first time in a few days, really--you feel lucky. Lucky like you’ve just plucked a four-leafed clover beneath a double-rainbow beside a heads-up penny.

Okay, you think. I have to move. 

Coyote is standing at the bus doors, eyes narrowed on the crease as if Bradley is somehow going to slip in when he’s not looking. 

It’s been almost thirty minutes since the two of you left the bus barn and you haven’t come back. Bradley hasn’t come back either, which he’s sure must mean something good. But everyone heard it--the gunshot. It’s been very quiet since then.

His fingers are beginning to tremble as he grips the butcher knife. He keeps repeating it in his head, chewing over it like a mantra: c’mon, Gale. C’mon, Gale. C’mon, Gale. 

Phoenix is huddled up with all the campers at the back of the bus, her eyes wide and her mouth closed tight. She cannot rid herself of this horrified expression--and she hasn’t been able to stop crying since Bob died in her arms. 

Time keeps flitting forward--children keep whispering, Coyote keeps careful watch over the entrance, Bob grows cold at the front of the bus beneath a pile of donated jackets, palms grow sweaty on the grips of knives--and she can do nothing to stop it. The world just keeps moving and she’s staying right where she is; on this bus.

You’re not back yet. And with every aching moment that marches on, she grows more accustomed to the thought of you lying dead in the woods. It is not a comfortability with which she settles into this--but merely a placid acceptance. Something she cannot change. Something she cannot fix. Another one of her friends dead and gone. 

She’s just here on this bus. 

“Anything?” Phoenix asks--her voice is thin and muffled from all the children crowding her, each one elbowing another for a spot beside her and away from the windows. “At all?”

Coyote doesn’t look away from the bus doors. 

“Nothing,” he whispers. 

It’s quiet. A few of the campers are whimpering--Phoenix doesn’t have it in her to comfort them right now. Not when she can’t stop crying herself. Not when this terrible numbness is crawling up her legs like leeches in warm, waist-deep water. 

“Is Miss Nightingale going to come back?” A quiet voice pipes up from the back. Phoenix can’t tell who’s talking--doesn’t even turn her head to attempt to find out. “Or did Mister Rooster do something…do something real bad?” 

“She’ll come back,” Coyote answers, his tone even and serious. He holds onto the handle of his knife harder. C’mon, Gale. “She always does, right?” 

“So far,” Phoenix whispers.

She thinks of you, splayed out on the dirt, not quite fast enough to outrun Bradley. Dying just within the reach of his fingertips, your hair caught in his fists when he lunges forward, your foot slipping on a rock and giving Bradley the opportunity to come forward and take you. One minuscule mistake, one lapse in your stride, one wrong placement of your foot on the earth and you’re gone. Just like that. Just like Bob. 

“C’mon,” Coyote whispers underneath his breath. He’s a few moments away from clasping his hands together and praying out loud--would even drop to his knees right now to see you again. “C’mon, Gale. C’mon, now. Get on back here, girl. C’mon.”

“Should we go looking for her?” Another camper asks. 

“Mister Rooster would get us!” Another returns. 

Coyote can hear it now--the way in which this will all become folklore. Another story to be told around a fire, one inexperienced mouth to another, hands sticky with s’mores as they gesture. Chocolate thick on their tongue when they utter the words he got four of the counselors and the groundskeeper. 

For the first time since you left, he peels his gaze from the door to look at all the wide-eyes staring back at him. Everyone is waiting for him to do something, save everyone. 

“It’s alright,” Coyote says to them. His voice is quivering. “She’s gonna come back.”

He wonders if they’ll remember him saying that. He wonders if they’ll remember anything he said or did. He wonders if they’ll remember the way his voice trembled. 

The younger ones will have faint memories of this, like fingerprints pressed in drying clay--not fully molded, only an impression. The older ones will remember this all, yes, but it will become muddled and fragmented as the years roll forward. They will imagine more blood and less time. They will imagine phantom cuts and bruises and that it was night instead of day. Little details like this--like your hair color and what shoes they were wearing--will change constantly.

But certain parts will be true: they will always remember Nurse Nightingale pointing a gun at Mister Rooster, covered in blood and screaming for him to get away from the bus, from them. They will always remember what Miss Phoenix sounded like when Mister Bob died right there in front of everyone, his body pale and bloody and her wails deafening. They will remember being crowded in the back of the bus, waiting for the other shoe to drop, shoulder-to-shoulder. They will remember the frenzy of lanterns and flashlights as they scrambled from their cabins into the mess hall because there was an emergency. They will always remember Mister Coyote standing at the front of the bus and waiting for you to come back. 

“Are you sure she’s coming back?” One of the children asks Coyote. Just a small little thing, barely tall enough to see over the seat. One of Rooster’s, he’s sure. Two little brown eyes peering into Coyote’s. “Or did she leave--did she leave us?”

“She wouldn’t leave us,” Coyote says instantly. 

He swallows hard, looks back at the doors. You’re still not here. 

“Maybe she ran,” one of the older campers offers, shaking his head as his eyes fill with tears. “Maybe she--maybe she got away!”

“No,” Coyote insists, eyes screwed shut. “She wouldn’t leave us.”

“I hope not,” Phoenix whispers. But she knows, just as well as anyone else, that if you’ve left them behind it is because you are not alive anymore. “I really, really hope not.” 

A gunshot suddenly ripples across camp--so loud that it startles Coyote. 

“Oh, my God,” a camper shrieks. “She shot Mister Rooster!” 

“He probably got the gun!” Another says. 

“Hush,” Phoenix urges. She swallows hard. “Be quiet now.”

And then another gunshot rings out--vibrates the gravel and bounces off the loudspeaker that is still playing a jumbled Kate Bush tape. 

“Fuck,” Coyote whispers, his heart beginning to hammer. “Shit--what does that mean?” 

The third gunshot blasts through the air before anyone can answer. 

“Wait a minute,” Timmy Creighton suddenly says from the very back of the bus. “Wait a minute--that was--wait, that was three gunshots!”

“Miss Nightingale shot Mister Rooster three times!”

“No,” Timmy says, shaking his head. “That means help! Three times--S. O. S.. S.O.S!”

Coyote turns to him, eyebrow perched, hope springing to life in his chest like wildflowers after a rainstorm. 

“How do you know that?” Phoenix asks, brows furrowed. 

“I’m a boy scout,” he answers incredulously. Like, duh. Of course. That’s how. 

“S.O.S.?” Coyote asks. “So, that could be Gale--!” 

“--Or it could be him,” Phoenix interrupts, brows furrowed. “We don’t know.” 

Coyote stares at her. 

“But it could be her.” 

Phoenix swallows hard. 

“We don’t know that it’s her,” she says, shaking her head. 

“We don’t know that it’s not,” Coyote says back. 

They stare at each other for a moment. 

“I’m not leaving the bus,” she says softly. She gestures to the children. “None of us are.” 

Coyote’s brow furrows. He adjusts his grip on the knife, holds it tighter. 

“But Gale is out there,” he says. 

“So is he,” Phoenix returns softly. “And he’s already picked off five of us.”

Now Coyote looks at the ground. Bob’s body is only a few feet away from him. And Jake--God, he can’t even think about Jake right now. He won’t let himself think about him. If he thinks about his best friend dead, bloody, axed--he might just crumble. He might just fold. 

But you. You’re someone he can help. You’re someone that just shot three times. S.O.S.. And what if he were the one that shot three times? You would come running with open arms and wide eyes. He knows it. He does. He can feel it in his soul.

“You stay,” Coyote finally says, glancing back up at Phoenix and the campers. “I’ll go.”

“But Mister Coyote, what if he gets you?” Timmy asks. 

“Yeah,” another camper agrees, nodding earnestly with their brows drawn together. “Then who’s gonna save us?”

Coyote swallows hard, heart thumping. He shrugs, feigning a cool attitude.

“Couldn’t if he tried,” he says. He limply points to his bulging biceps and gives everyone the only smile he can muster--which is a very weak one. “Look at these guns, huh? Who’d wanna tussle with me?”

No one responds. 

“Be careful,” Phoenix says quietly. She won’t allow the fear she’s feeling to spill over and into the air around her--not around the children. “Don’t…don’t die.”

“I won’t,” Coyote says. 

And he means it.

Coyote, simply put, is more frightened than he’s ever been as he begins to tread through the woods. He’s walking as carefully as he can, trying not to snap twigs or kick stones. He’s holding the knife and his breath, glancing out the corner of his eye at every sound that isn’t Kate Bush. 

The sun is high in the sky--he’d guess it’s not even noon yet. The heat pours down over him, holding him in a flannel blanket as he treks carefully. His grip on the knife is harsh--he knows for certain that it’s not going anywhere.

“Gale?” He whispers--he knows you won’t be able to hear him with his voice this low, but he’s too afraid to speak any louder in case Phoenix was right. “Gale?”

You don’t respond. His heart is pounding his chest, his blood is rushing through his ears.

He’s expecting, partly, Bradley to suddenly jump out at him. He must be ducked behind a tree, his ears perked, waiting for the precise moment to collapse Coyote with brute strength. And if he goes down, if Bradley gets the upper hand, Coyote knows that it will end in his own bloodshed. 

The thought makes him dizzy. 

“Gale,” he calls again, a little louder. 

Again, though--nothing. Just the sound of flittering mosquitos and bumbling bees. 

And it’s a few more paces, a few more steps, when he suddenly feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end like something is watching him. Like someone is watching him. 

Quickly, his head is on a swivel. And at first, he doesn’t see you. Covered in blood and mud and barefoot, you almost fit in right up against the oak trees and the leaves. But there you are, yards away from him, holding the gun and the ax as you stare at Bradley’s collapsed body on the ground. 

“Gale?” Coyote asks wearily, eyebrows raised. 

At once, you find his eyes. Your face is calm and flat, your hair matted and your clothes thoroughly dyed with blood. But there is a ring of your flesh on your throat that is on total display right now, all flesh and no blood--and he knows it’s from where Bradley tried to strangle you. Kill you. 

“Javy,” you whisper--your voice is ragged and raw. 

He wonders, momentarily, if it will sound like that forever now that you’ve been choked within an inch of your life. 

Neither of you move for a moment as Coyote takes in the scene. There is too much sunlight for such a nasty sight. Too much gore and blood and bugs for the sun to be shining down on you the way it is right now.

“He’s not…dead…is he?”

“No,” you answer, shaking your head. “Just out cold. For now.” 

Coyote nods. 

“Any of that blood yours?” Coyote asks, gesturing to you with the knife. 

Swallowing, you begin to shake your head--but then you remember. Your shoulder. 

“Some,” you whisper to him, sniffling. “Not a lot.”

Coyote takes a deep breath. 

“Whose is it?” 

He’s terrified for you to answer him--but he needs to know.

Your bottom lip wobbles suddenly. You shift all your weight to your left hip and hold the ax closer to you, glancing down at Bradley. Still out. Then you take a deep breath. 

“Jake’s,” you answer. “It’s his.” 

Coyote’s eyes fall to the ground. You can see it written across his face--the grief, the shock. His brows knit and his lips turn down. And then he takes a deep breath. 

“Yeah, I figured as much,” he says. “And Bradley…?”

“It’s not…it’s not him,” you whisper. Sucking in a deep breath, you suddenly choke. You’re not sure what else to say, how else to explain it. “Well, it’s him, but it isn’t. He isn’t--it’s…it’s the maniac.”

You’re worried, for the first time today, that someone will accuse you of losing your everloving mind. That Coyote will scoff at you and try to get far, far away from you and your insanity. 

But when you look at him, he’s just looking back at you in total earnest. 

“And you know that…how?” 

Shaking your head, eyes fluttering closed, you sigh. 

“He told me,” you whisper. Your voice is still so hoarse--and your breaths are ragged. “When he…after he hurt Jake. He told me everything.” 

“The maniac did?” Coyote asks. His fingers are tingling. 

If anyone else were to say this to him, anyone in the world, he’d disbelieve them. But it’s you--and he knows, deep in his heart, that you have been closer to death and gore here than anyone else. And he believes you as firmly as his feet are planted on the earth. 

“Yes,” you answer. “Please believe me. Please, I know how it sounds--!” 

“--I believe you,” Coyote answers, brows furrowed. He looks down at Bradley’s body again. “So…what do we do now?” 

You follow his gaze. The bruise on Bradley’s head is growing into a deep, deep purple now. Purple like the irises that have suddenly sprouted up everywhere. 

“Tie him down,” you whisper. “Don’t let him out again.”

Coyote nods. 

“I can drag ‘im if you can carry the weapons,” Coyote offers. He knows your strength must be waning, knows that you must be fading fast and hard at this point. “Deal?”

“Deal,” you whisper, relieved. 

♀

Phoenix looks between the two of you, tired and scared and in mourning, her eyes heavy-lidded and her lips twisted. 

“So…he’s possessed?” She asks. 

You nod, can’t even muster the strength to utter yes. 

“I know it sounds crazy,” Coyote starts, sucking in a breath. 

“Yeah, it does,” Phoenix agrees. She looks at you. “I want you to tell me what you told him that’s made him so gung-ho on this possession idea. Alright?” 

“She didn’t have to tell me much,” Coyote says, hands on his hips. 

He glances at the nurse’s cabin, where Bradley is tied down to the bed. He still isn’t awake yet--you got him good. A pride swells in Coyote when he thinks about it; you slamming the butt of the shotgun down on Bradley’s head, preserving his life but halting his maliciousness. 

“I don’t get it,” Phoenix says. She sighs in exasperation, pinches the bridge of her nose. “What about…this says possession instead of just Bradley lost his fucking mind?” 

“I mean--look around us, Nix. Does this seem like a normal summer to you? Has Bradley ever so much as killed a fucking bug before this summer? Or the one before? Or the one before that?” Coyote asks, throwing his hands up in the air. Phoenix blinks at him. “The answer is a big, fat no. He hasn’t. He hasn’t done anything except crop his own shirts and-and make goo-goo eyes at Gale. Right? Something isn’t right here.” 

“But why does that mean he’s possessed by the fucking maniac?” Phoenix asks, groaning. “Maybe he…maybe he hid the crazy until this summer.” 

“We’re his best friends,” Coyote says, scoffing. “We would see it before.” 

Phoenix’s lip twitches. 

“Bradley isn’t my best friend,” Phoenix whispers. “Bob was.”

No one speaks for a moment. You take a deep breath--nearly wobbling on your feet.

“He was cut with the ax thirty years to the day of the original murders,” you point out. You think of the newspaper from earlier. July 19th--that was the publication date. But the murders had to have happened before then. “And he told me. Alright? He told me everything.”

“Well, crazy people like to talk,” Phoenix says. Her fingers are tingling. “Why are we believing him? He killed Bob!” 

“We know that,” Coyote snaps. He throws his arms in the air, eyes wide. “He fucking killed Jake, too! And Reuben and Mickey. Fucking--he killed Paul, Phoenix! We know that!” 

Sensing thats things are going to become too heated between Phoenix and Coyote, as her cheeks redden and his eyes grow wider, you put her hand up. 

“Let’s not lose our heads,” you say, voice soft and even but still gravely. “Listen, all I know is that before this summer, Bradley never so much as…he wouldn’t ever hurt anyone.” 

“You mean you?” Phoenix asks--her tone is pointed and frustrated, but you’re not angry with her. 

She softens when you nod, raise your blood-rimmed eyes to hers. 

“Yes,” you whisper. “He would never hurt me.” 

She shifts all her weight to her other hip, sighing deeply. Coyote is still looking at her, arms crossed, waiting for a fight. But then she looks up at you, eyes deep and sorrowful. 

“Tell me what he told you,” she whispers, really meaning it. 

Coyote’s shoulders fall--thank God. Thank fucking God. 

So, you tell her everything. Every bit, every detail, every morsel. Jake’s body on top of yours. Bradley’s quiet and calculated plan. The mask that slipped. The chase through the woods. The blood that was shed. 

And by the end of it, the three of you are standing out in the courtyard, your gazes listless and your guts empty and aching. Phoenix’s brows are blanched and her heart is racing and she can’t believe this is happening to her. Not here, in Maine of all places, at camp at all places. How is this happening to her? To all of you? 

“So, what do we do now?” Coyote asks, voice soft. 

“I don’t know,” you answer, eyes screwed shut. 

“I mean, you guys tied him to the exam table pretty good, right? Will it hold him?” Phoenix asks, glancing up at the two of you. She knows, as soon as she sees both of your faces, that the answer is a resounding no. “Okay…so, what? What do we do?”

“We have to…” Coyote starts. He stops, sighs, shakes his head. “I can’t even say it.” 

“What?” Phoenix asks. 

You clear your throat and swat a mosquito away from your face.

“We aren’t killing him,” you say to Coyote, sad and quiet. There is no anger in your bones when you say it--he’s doing what he can. All of you are. No one knows what to do and you don’t expect anything any of you says to be right or wrong. “We can’t…I can’t do that.” 

Phoenix shakes her head. 

“I mean, he killed everyone…” she whispers. “Wouldn’t it be…I don’t know, just? If we did it.” 

“No,” you answer. Your fingers are trembling--you clasp your hands together and sniffle. “No one else dies.” 

“But--!” 

You look at Phoenix right in the eyes, squinting slightly as the blood clumping your lashes flakes off. Again, you’re not angry. You understand her grief. You understand her desire for justice. You understand where she’s coming from. 

“Please don’t make me kill anyone,” you whisper to her. “I can’t…I can’t do it.” 

All three of you know that you would be the one to do it, because as strong as Coyote is and as vengeful as Phoenix is, you’re the only one that can stomach death. Death and its scent and its touch and its taste. Only you. 

“So, we don’t kill him,” Coyote says. “That leaves us with…what options?” 

“If he’s possessed…” Phoenix starts, scratching her head and wilting beneath the sun like a flower. “Could we get him back? Or is he gone for good?”

The thought of Bradley being gone forever makes a deep, endless pit open up in your belly. You feel like it will swallow you whole--so you bat it away, shake your head. 

“I don’t know,” you whisper. “He said he was…gone.” 

Coyote leans forward. 

“But in…like, in The Exorcist, they say the demon fights psychologically. Maybe that’s--maybe that’s what he’s doing, right? Lying.” 

“Well, if this were The Exorcist, we’d be short a couple priests. All we have is Mable,” Phoenix says. “And I don’t think it’d be the same.”

“Oh, real nice, Nix,” Coyote says, shaking his head. “That’s a great attitude to have.”

The tension between them is beginning to grow warm--only a spark now, but you feel that it will soon be an ember glowing orange on this sunny, blue day. 

Staring at the ground, squinting, trying to remember what happens at the end of The Exorcist, you’re hardly breathing. 

“What happens?” You ask suddenly. “What happens, like, at the end of that movie?”

“The demon moves from one body to another,” Coyote answers, brows drawn together. “And then…the new host kills themselves.” 

It’s quiet for a moment between the three of you--quiet except for the jumbled Kate Bush tape still playing over the loudspeaker. The lot of you have almost entirely tuned it out by now. 

“No,” you whisper. It’s not an option. “What else can we do?” 

No one says anything for a long moment. 

“It was his blood, right?” Coyote asks. “Like, that’s what started the whole possession thing? He cut himself on the ax--well, he cut himself on the ax.” 

“Yes,” you answer. “That’s at least what he--what he told me.”

“What if we burned the ax?” Coyote says. “Like, that’s what happens in The Evil Dead. They burn the book and--!” 

“--Are we just going to keep suggesting things that happens in movies?” Phoenix asks. “Because this isn’t a movie, Javy. People are dead.”

“He knows that,” you say, heart squeezing. “Do you have any better ideas, Nix? Really.” 

She doesn’t say anything. 

“I mean, if blood starts it…blood’s gotta end it, right?” 

“Oh, the Chekov’s gun of it all,” Phoenix grumbles. 

But then her spine prickles--it’s what Bob would say. 

Blood. You think about it as you look down at your hands--they’re covered in the stuff. Vital to life, but so commonly on the outside of flesh. A skinned knee. A bump on the head. A knick while shaving. A papercut. 

“Virgin blood is strong--pure. Untainted. That’s what…that’s what happened last time, you see. Nurse Abbott was waiting until marriage. I picked ‘em off one-by-one until she was alone…”

“We could bleed him out,” Phoenix sighs, not serious. Her tone is sour, bitter. “That oughta show him.” 

“Look,” Coyote starts, glaring at Phoenix. His palms are sweaty. “We all know that you’re aching real bad about Bob, okay? But you’re not the only one who lost someone today. We all lost people today. We all lost Bob today.”

Phoenix, her brows furrowed and her lips twisted, begins to respond before you suddenly stand and interrupt them. 

“We used to use leeches,” you say, eyes wide. 

Phoenix and Coyote blink at you, their eyes heavy and their mouths flat and their brows furrowed. You can see plainly on their faces that they’re wondering if you’re losing it finally--if the exhaustion is finally settling in. 

“What?” Phoenix asks. 

“We used to use leeches--like, whenever someone had a sickness or something, medical doctors would use leeches.” 

Coyote blinks at you. 

“What do you mean?” 

Your fingers are tingling as you wring them together, clearing your throat. There is a film of phlegm there that is making your voice hoarse still. 

“Bloodletting,” you tell them. “It--I mean, it’s been around forever. We’re talking, like, 470 B.C. kinda forever, right? Of course, like, at first everyone had a really simple view of what it did and diseases and everything. But then--God, was it like two or three years ago? Some coat from Harvard attached a leech to a tike’s ear after it’d been bitten off by a dog. It was big news. And, I mean, it’s kind of the same idea as replacement therapy.” 

“Like dialysis?” Coyote asks. “My grandpa does that.”

“Yeah,” you answer. “Just--just like that.”

“Okay,” Phoenix says, trying to digest your ramblings. “And what does that have to do with us?” 

Slowly, you sink back down. They watch you carefully. 

“If it starts with blood, it ends with blood,” you whisper. “We don’t have a lot of other options or ideas, do we?” 

“No,” Phoenix answers. “But where the fuck are we gonna get leeches?” 

“Yeah,” Coyote echoes, scratching the back of his head. 

Shaking your head, you breathe out shakily. 

“I can bleed him out,” you say. “I can do it.” 

With wide eyes, Phoenix sucks in a surprised breath. Her heart is hammering. 

“I was just messing,” she says, shaking her head. “Damn, I wasn’t serious!”

“I don’t think you should go near him,” Coyote says. He’s staring at the naked bit of your throat where your life was almost taken away from you. “I don’t think any of us should, really. It’s not safe. We’ll be dead meat if we do.”

“Look, if we don’t do something, we’re dead,” you say very seriously, looking into both their eyes. “Our friends are already dead. It’s just--it’s just us now, okay? No one is coming to help. Penny and Mav--shit, they’re still a while away from the next supply run. We’ve gotta do something. We can’t just keep running. We can’t just--we can’t just keep sitting here.” 

Phoenix’s tongue is totally dry. She’s watching you very carefully right now--you seem somber and sober. You seem, she realizes, more stable than you have since this all started. A certain calm has come over you, one that wraps you up in its arms and keeps your ragged voice even. 

“We can take shifts,” Coyote offers, his voice soft. “You can teach us how to shoot.” 

You shake your head. 

“No,” you whisper. “You two--you’ve gotta keep those campers alive, alright? That’s your job.” 

“What even is it that you want to do, huh?” Coyote asks. He settles his hands on his hips. “Give us the download.” 

“I’m gonna bleed him out,” you whisper. It all sounds so much crazier out loud--it feels like you’re talking to them from behind a thick fog, one that smells sweet and dampens your hair. “And then I’m gonna--fuck, I’m gonna stitch him up. Give him blood from the blood drive.” 

“Shit,” Coyote hisses. “We don’t know if that’ll work.” 

“No,” Phoenix agrees. “We don’t. And what if he doesn’t wake up? What if the blood isn’t enough?” 

Spine tingling, you chew on your lower lip. The blood you’re tasting isn’t your own. 

“Timmy Creighton,” you whisper. 

“What?” Phoenix asks. “The kid who’s allergic to nuts?” 

“That’s our savior?” Coyote follows. “We’re fucked. The kid tried to eat a Snickers bar last week!”

“No,” you answer, shaking your head. “Epi--it’s adrenaline. It’s what we use at the hospital when we resuscitate.” 

Phoenix furrows her brows. 

“So, it can help like…” 

“Bring him back,” you say. Your stomach turns, but you persist. “If I lose him, I can bring him back.” 

Coyote shifts uncomfortably, the thought of losing another friend today boggling his mind. His temple pulses. 

“So, what do we do?” He asks. “How can we help?” 

Taking a deep, deep breath, you glance at the nurse’s cabin. You know that he’s in there--and he’ll be waking up soon. 

“I need you guys to move the rock and lock me in there with him,” you tell them. Your fingers are numb. “And don’t let us out until it’s over.” 

“Nightingale,” Phoenix says, shaking her head. “I don’t want to do that.” 

“Yeah,” Coyote agrees. “Me neither.” 

“What choice do we have?” You say quietly. “We have to do something. We have to do something.”

Coyote sighs, leaning forward to hold his head in his hands. If he loses you, too--he doesn't know what he’s going to do. He’s so tired, he’s so scared and the thought of you locked in the room with Bradley is turning his stomach sour. 

“Why can’t we do it together?” Phoenix asks. “I mean, really!” 

“You would just get in the way,” you whisper solemnly. “I can do this.” 

“But can you?” Coyote asks, his tone edged but not malicious. He shrugs at you, mouth ajar. “He almost got you, Gale. He almost got you.” 

“But he didn’t,” you whisper, still feeling Bradley’s fingers wrapped around your throat. 

“Because of him,” Phoenix defends. “You shouldn’t do this alone.”

“I have to,” you whisper, shaking your head. Your eyes are wet. “You two…you have to keep the kids safe. Nothing can happen to them, alright?” 

His words ring in your ears.

“And when I’ve finished the kiddos off, I’ll come back for you.”  

“And what if he gets you, huh?” Coyote asks, his tone biting your ears. “Fuck--I mean, Jesus, Gale. What about us?” 

“I’ll kill him if I have to,” you say, though your tongue burns when you say it. “He isn’t getting out--!” 

“--We can’t lose you, too,” Phoenix interrupts. Sincerity drips from her tongue. “Please.” 

Turning away from them, you shut your eyes for a moment. In all the hustle, in all the grief, you completely forgot that the Kate Bush tape is still playing over the loudspeaker. It’s loud enough for you to hear over the cicadas. 

Like the sun coming out

I just know that something good is gonna happen

“Lock me in,” you whisper. You can’t look at their grief-stricken faces. Two tears fall from your cheeks. “Don’t let me out.” 

“Gale…” Coyote whispers. 

Glancing around camp, desolate and quiet, your heart squeezes. Only a few days ago, you were warding off Bradley and Coyote as you took Jake’s blood. Only a few days ago, you’re biggest concern was who you were going to end up with at the end of August. Only a few days ago, Bob and Phoenix were leading a game of Red Rover. Fanboy and Payback hosted finger football at their lunch table. Laughter echoed off the gravel. The lake lapped at the rocky shore. The trees were tall and sweet as they scraped the sky. You were bandaging scraped elbows and pulling out splinters. You were running your fingers through Jake’s hair, the sun warm on your cheeks, the crickets singing you a song. You were singing Joni Mitchell around a fire. You were smoking marijuana with your friends and sinking into the soft grass. You were reading Carrie by lamp-light. Lightning bugs used to land on your shins. Cicadas and owls used to sing you to sleep. Jake used to take you by the hand and dance with you in front of everyone, even if you were too shy, even if you were too embarrassed. Bradley said he loved you. So did Jake. 

But it’s all over now. 

It’s been a cruel, cruel summer. 

“Do it,” you whisper softly. “It ends now. It has to end now.”

“You’re gonna kill him?” Phoenix whispers. 

Nodding, your tongue quivers in your mouth. 

“It doesn’t have to be big and scary,” you mutter. “It doesn’t have to be violent.”

“Death is always violent,” Coyote says, thinking of Jake and Reuben and Mickey and Paul. “There’s nothing peaceful about it.” 

But they’re wrong. You know that they’re wrong. You’ve seen it--you’ve seen it so close that you’ve tasted it. It can be peaceful. It can be as easy as falling asleep. It can be as easy as exhaling. It can be as easy as coughing. You’ll make it easy for Bradley. 

“I’ll make it peaceful,” you whisper. 

It’s more of a promise to Bradley wherever he is. You’ll be gentle. 

“Gale,” Coyote says, shaking his head. “I just…” 

“She has to do it,” Phoenix says now, her tone soft. She looks you in the eyes, hers rimmed with red and tearful. “Bring him back, okay?”

“Okay,” you say. “I will.”

♀

He isn’t awake yet. 

From where you’re standing beside him, your body numb and your eyes stuck on his placid face, you could almost mistake him for sleeping. Eyes fluttered shut, brows unknit, lips flat, body still. Except for the blood splattering his clothing and skin and the welt on his head, maybe anyone could mistake him for sleeping. 

Exhaling, you look over at everything laid out beside you. Swiss army knife. Gauze. Suture kit. Adrenaline injections. Bags of blood--your blood--on ice. Universal donor. Morphine tablets. Everything you need to drain him of this evil and then bring him back. 

It’s sweltering in here--that’s why you usually always keep the door open. But now you’re locked in, the door barricaded and the windows reinforced. The heat seeps in like a wave. 

This will be better if he doesn’t wake up. 

And with that thought, you reach for the latex gloves, slowly slipping your hands into them. No movement from Bradley. It’s not until you shakily hold the Swiss army knife that his brows come together. 

A low groan falls from his lips as you bring the blade out. 

“Birdie…” 

Your belly turns itself inside out. 

When you don’t answer, too petrified to move, too scared to say anything, Bradley’s eyes open. And your chest feels empty when you see those eyes: no flecks of gold in his irises. Just a deeper, darker brown. Void of anything except rage. 

“What’s going on?” He asks, sounding remarkably like Bradley. He looks down, realizes he’s tied to the examination table, then looks back up at you with a pitiful expression of confusion eating his features. “Birdie--what…what’s going on? Why am I tied up?” 

“Stop calling me that,” you whisper to him, shaking your head. 

He brings how brows together, mouth ajar, then sees that you’re holding a knife. And he jerks away--a real show of wide eyes and gasps. 

“What--what are you gonna do with that?” 

“Drop the act,” you whisper, shaking your head. “You’re cornered.” 

“Birdie, please don’t do this!” He says, beginning to wail. The heat is turning his cheeks bright red. “Please, I know this summer hasn’t been stellar, but don’t do this! Birdie, please!” 

“Stop calling me that,” you demand again, your voice louder. You look deep, deep into his eyes and keep your gaze there besides the chill that climbs your spine. “You’re not him.” 

He’s about to argue--about to fight you on it--when it dawns on him that you aren’t scared right now. No, no. He can tell. He can feel it. There is not even an ounce of fear in your being right now--just rage. Blinding, serious rage. 

“Fine,” he says, tone calmer than before. He smiles softly. “What’re you gonna do, dolly? What’s the plan? What’re you gonna do with that?” 

 WIth a firm grip on the red handle of the knife, you breathe deeply. 

“I’m going to cut your radial artery,” you say softly, just like you would to a patient. “It’s in your wrist. I’m gonna bleed you out…let you die. And then I’m going to bring Bradley back.”

He laughs--a big and booming thing. 

“Oh, is that so?” He says tauntingly. “Well, you’ve got it all figured out, then. As if you would be able to do it, dolly. You don’t have the guts.” 

“I do,” you whisper. “I’ve got the guts.” 

“You love him,” he whispers. “You’re weak like that.” 

Swallowing hard, you shake your head. 

“I’m bringing him back,” you say. 

“He’s gone,” he argues, brows knit. He tugs on the restraints--they’re tight. Too tight to get out of right away. “And he’d need a blood transfusion.” 

You point to the few bags of blood on the table, still cold from the ice. 

“I have it,” you whisper. “I’m a universal donor.” 

“But not a virgin,” he answers, smiling still. 

You lean forward, eyes pouring into his. 

“I was when I donated,” you tell him. 

And before he can respond, before he can do anything at all, you bring the blade down on his wrist. It’s sharp--sharp like a scalpel in the operating room. He gasps, warm blood suddenly flooding the bed, but doesn’t have time to respond before you cut the other wrist. 

Writhing, panicking, he looks at you. 

“You fucking whore!” He screams. “God--look what you’ve--you fucking bitch! You’re killing him! You’re killing him!” 

“I’m killing you!” You grunt.

Slamming the knife back down on the tray, you step back and watch for a moment. There is hot, wet blood on your hands again. Vaguely, distantly, you wonder if you’re going to have to scrape all this blood off. It clings to you like a second skin. 

The hair on the back of your neck prickles as Bradley desperately pulls at the retraits, blood dripping from his body in a steady river of red. 

“You fucking bitch,” he seethes. “Do you think I can’t find you again? I’ve been watching you for three summers…I saw what you did with him in the woods. I saw what you did with Jakey-boy in your cabin, you whore. I see everything you do. I’m always here. I live in your nightmares!” 

Saying nothing, steeling yourself against his words, you continue watching. You’re counting to two minutes. 

“Fear is what keeps me alive, dolly,” he grunts, struggling still. “And I will be alive until the world sinks into Hell. I’ll be here, waiting. Watching. Ready to crawl under the skin of another lovesick orphan.”

Shaking your head, you just keep watching. It’s strange watching Bradley bleed out--but it’s not him. It’s not him. It’s Damien. You have to repeat it to yourself over and over again. It’s Damien. It’s Damien. 

And then, suddenly and completely, he goes entirely still. He’s just looking at you as blood covers the exam table and puts metal beneath your nose. He frowns, his eyebrows coming together. His face is beginning to grow pasty. 

“You’re leaving your friends again,” he whispers softly to you. “The ones you abandoned before…they’ve been calling out your name. They’ve been waiting for you. They want you to come to them. They’re all alone. And they’re so scared, dolly…they’re so scared without you there.” 

Lip twitching, you stay completely still. 

“Jake needs you,” he whispers. “And he’s the one you chose all along, right? It’s always been him. Why even bring Bradley back if it’s not him that you love?” 

Saliva gathers beneath your tongue. It’s approaching--you know it is. Can’t be long now. 

“I can’t die,” he whispers. His voice is weak. His eyes are beginning to shut. “You can’t…you can’t…” 

And then his head lulls to the side and he is dead. 

It isn’t Bradley, but a sob rips from your throat anyway. He lies completely still, blood still flowing from his wrists. And without another moment to waste, you jump into action. 

Packing his wrists with gauze with one panicked hand, you reach to feel his jugular with the other. It’s weak--probably just residual blood flow. 

He’s gone. The evil is gone. 

“Hold on,” you whisper to Bradley’s body. “Just hold on, alright?” 

𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: OMG WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT......

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒:

@thedroneranger

@fandom-life-12

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@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

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[inabarbi3world]

(These are my live reactions as I’m watching rn)

Maddie: yes because you were searching for something… what are you looking for now?

HMMMMMM IDK MADDIE WHAT COULD BUCK P O S S I B L Y BE LOOKING FOR AND “OPENING HIMSELF UP TO NEW POSSIBILITIES”

HMMMMMM I T R U L Y WONDER MHM I SURE DO

and Karen? Calling Bobby? FUCKING SLAYYYY I love that girl sm

i feel so bad for Connor- WAIT BUCK????? SPERM DONOR????? (this is a possibility Buck, you did say you wanted to do new things and new adventures but… IDK ABOUT THIS IDK HOW IT WOULD TIE INTO THE STORY WTF?) imagine he realizes that he wants to have kids with a certain… someone…? If he finds out he’s also infertile I will LITERALLY go INSANE.

LMFAOOOO “excruciatingly specific detail” sigh i love you chimney sm and Christopher with his independence- big slay

wait wtf a drunk driver… sigh. Oh hell no HE BETTER- WHAT THE FUCK HE BETTER NOT CRASH WITH CHIMEBY IN THE CAR I SWEAR TO GOD. GOOOO BUCK FUCKING GO YES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GOOOO WHITE BOY GOOOOO

That motorcycle riding paid off damn LMFAO HE REALLY JUST… LMFAO WAIT THAT SCENE KINDA SMACKED HELP

Aw I love bobthena both melancholy and kinda happy

LMFAOOOOOO EDDIE’s DAD “I didn’t protect you enough” DAMN FUCKING RIGHT LMFAO (ok but why his dad kinda spit a bit of facts; kinda scary if he’s making sense)

oh. Wow really you caught him off guard? shocking. oop- damn that’s sad I’m sorry Connor. I- DAMN DUDE I’m so glad buck is being told this by someone SOB SOB SOB nah i think he’s gonna do it

This feels like a domestic violence scene um i don’t like this UM WHAT IN THE FUCK NAH

………..

girl…

Why do they keep putting Maddie through the same CALLS EVERY TIME LET THE GIRL BREATHE GODDAMN DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE SEEING HER SHOWING HOW MUCH SHES OVERCOME BUT DAMN

…………………

…………………………………….

Ok.

Anyway.

Hen.

Slay. As you do always. LMFAO SAME GIRL I CANT FOLD FITTED SHEETS EITHER

YAY MORE BUCKHEN SCENES

WHY IS BUCK SO CLOSE TO THE TABLE HELP HES ADORABLE

IMFOWNDOWNXOWNXOWNXOWNDOWNSIWNDOWNXOWNDN PLEASE BUZZED HEN AND BUCK IS SOMETHING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED PLS

yeah you better save that dog tf I genuinely- LMFAO HELP DRUNK ASFFFFFFFFF STOPPP EVEN DRUNK HEN CAN SAVE A DOG OVER THE PHONE PLS.

OH MY GOD THEYRE GONNA KEEP HOOVER ARENT THEY OH MY GOD GES SLAYYYYYYY

hen gonna be a doctor

when fathers actually talk to their children>>>>>>

Maddie is such an amazing character dude I love her sm okay fine fine this is amazing portrayal of her using her trauma to know what claribelle and her family needed, the empathy

O-

Hen.

OH? A PRACTICAL EZAMMMMMMMM?

OMG OMG BOBHENA SO CUTEEEEEEEE OH MY GOD THE DOGGGGGGGGG HOOVERRRRRR HOW FUCJING ADORABLE MY GOD THATS A SLAY AND A HALF

oh. AWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE BUCKKKKKKK YOURE SO GOOD OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A GOOD FUCKING EPISODE OH MY GOD “ABSOLUTELY BE YOU SPERM DONOR” OH MY GOD YESSSSSS I LOVE YOU SM BUCK YOU ADORABLE HUMAB BEING IM SOBBING

IM SO HAPPY WITH THIS WEEK’s EP

sob.

[ak8shi]

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), alcohol, stupid people in love

a/n: ahh I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA!!! But I’m back with this pls enjoy ! I think the fandom really make germaphobia his only personality trait sometimes which makes me sad because I think he’s actually a quirky/classy dude and very functional in social situations,, I hate to say it but ya’ll would get played by him… sorry.

━Sakusa Kiyoomi

Some of you may be like ???? Omi fucks around ?? how ?? BUT he definitely does in his own way

He probably doesn’t do much in high school to be honest, he’s mostly focused on improving as a volleyball player and achieving his goals

Once he reaches pro level though,,, it’s a different story lmfao

I can see him being picky as hell about his hookups, but just because he’s a bit of a germaphobe doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel attraction or doesn’t have needs…

….He’s so hot too… girl

His hook-ups are always taken seriously though… like he’s the type that feels like he has a professional image to upkeep, so he always arranges things beforehand; he’s definitely not messy about it and sets clear boundaries

I think what makes him kind of a player is how standoffish he can be…and he doesn’t really give anyone a chance because he doesn’t think they what it takes to deal with his lifestyle lmao

He’s just like, its easier to call the uber right after, get into the shower, and wait until he can hear the front door of his apartment shut I’m screamingg

Sakusa also isn’t one to kiss and tell, even with the boys… he doesn’t think its tasteful and would rather not have Atsumu up his ass about his flings

ANYWAYS,, let’s get into this, so you know Atsumu through mutual friends and met during college, and the two of you just instantly clicked since you also were a part of the same sports medicine program as him

Atsumu signed with MSBY and you were so happy for him, but you were bummed because you were busy with PT graduate school and couldn’t really attend any of his games

A year passed and you found yourself texting Tsumu to see if he could meet up and grab coffee since you were on winter break!!

You: hey I’m back in town wanna grab coffee sometime?

Him: who is this

You: I see you haven’t changed ❤️

LMFAO, so you catch up with Atsumu and he talks about his new career and his teammates, he seems so happy :(( we love to see that!!

He invites you to MSBY’s game the following weekend, and you’re pumped to go!! Tsumu got you great seats, and he meets you before warmups to make sure you’re okay finding your way around

Atsumu: don’t take yer eyes off me <3

You:

He’s so…

You’re enjoying the match and you even go to grab Onigiri from Osamu’s stand, but you can’t seem to look away from number 15 on Atsumu’s team

He’s .., scrumptious to say the least 🥴

Like he’s so composed and calculated on the court, and you find it so funny how he rolls his eyes whenever Tsumu says something to him and how Tsumu gets so heated about it 💀

The match ends and you go down to meet Atsumu near the lockers, showing the security your family/friend pass 😌

You walk through the halls trying to locate the setter, but you can’t seem to figure out where he is

The only person in the hall is the tall, dark haired man that caught your eye earlier; he is already walking towards the exit with a mask covering his face, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, sweats embroidered with “Sakusa” adorning his body we’re all looking..... respectfully

He’s truly so intimidating but you’re like….highkey lost… so you don’t really have another option

You catch up with him, poking his shoulder gently; he turns around and his attention on you is almost STARTLING.. like his eyes are SO dark

Him: can I help you

You: sir… if you don’t rail me, I’m gonna have to intervene‼️😈😹

After getting over your initial shock, you hear multiple footsteps rumbling down the hallway towards the both of you

Sakusa lets out an annoyed sigh, muttering about how he has to go, but before he can escape you hear Atsumu’s loud voice LMFAO

“OMIIII, where are you goin’? Its team karaoke night remember?”

Tsumu sees you and slings an arm around your shoulders, “Oh-? So I see you’ve met our outside hitter Omi?”

You glance over at Sakusa, his expressionless eyes glued to your face, then slowly trailing down to analyze the way Atsumu casually has you tucked under his arm

Atsumu nudges him, and he grumbles that he’ll meet them after changing at home before walking off in the direction of the private parking garage

You meet the rest of the MSBY boys in the uber, and find them super friendly and welcoming; Bokuto and Hinata buy the first round of drinks at the karaoke bar, but you only have one because you have work to finish the next day WE STAN

Atsumu already has a pink glow setting into his cheeks when you see the boys turn their attention to Sakusa walking through the front door, looking as handsome as ever in his dress pants and fitted white t shirt

They all shout out incoherent hello’s, and he takes the only open seat next to you with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand he smells so good god

You’re unsure what comes over you, but you find yourself turning towards him, and you just start asking him about himself and his career, and surprisingly he’s very polite and much more animated than you previously thought

His voice is like…so alluring and he never looks away from you when you talk, its like he’s absorbing every word

Meanwhile, Atsumu is stumbling over the stage with Bokuto belting Love by Keisha Cole LMFAOO😭

Tsumu kind of ‘warned’ you in the car ride over that Sakusa was a germaphobe, but you know that Atsumu tends to invade people’s personal space sometimes and it probably wasn’t as dramatic as he made it out to be

However, you weren’t expecting the outside hitter to lean over from his seat after checking the time on his phone, whispering in your ear, asking you if you wanted to meet him at his place later than night WHEW

Girl I would be sweating… and you say yes ofc because who’s going to pass up this type of opportunity-

He gives you a charming smile and is like,, okay cool, I’ll see you later then 😊 I’m dead

Ya’ll exchange phone numbers and he’s like if you need any help with my idiot teammates let me know before he takes off

You don’t tell Tsumu about your little… entanglement plans dsnjaknda but honestly he wouldn’t even remember based on the way he’s slumped against you in the uber he owes you big time

You get home after dropping off Tsumu at Osamu’s, and operation dick appointment with the professional volleyball player is put into action 😈

He sends an uber over to get you ladies do not settle for less please, and you’re BIG nervous but in a good way as in you know this dick is about to be bomb af

SO you’re standing in front of his apartment door, and when he opens it, he’s still in the clothes he wore to the bar and its like 1 am he’s so powerful

Um I feel like he would get straight to it honestly, probably starts with a little convo on the couch and then…

YOU WEREN’T AWARE HE WAS SO DIRTY,,, it was SO good too like after getting home that night you’re going through a crisis… like you had so much chemistry together for having just met, and you wonder if he feels the same way🥺

You caught yourself in sleepless states some nights, kept awake by the thoughts of the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his five o’clock shadow gently rubbed against your face when you kissed, and how he would hold you(only after a thorough shower together of course)

As it happens more and more, he lets you into his life little by little, and you notice and remember small facts about him and he often remembers a lot of the things you tell him about you, its really enjoyable for both of you

Its weirdly domestic to a point but that’s why its so good for both of you???it adds a bit of spice ??

Sakusa: can you come over tonight

You: sorry the retainer is in already <3 no dick sucking for me tonight <3

Him: I bought pastries from that cafe you like

You: say less✈️ I’m coming💃

AND he HAS jokes okay, like he’s funny as hell and very witty when his true self comes out; but he’s also a HUGE tease and he’ll say something completely straight-faced that someone else might take offense to like “you look ugly,” but you just know he’s kidding from being around him long enough and from seeing the little glint in his dark eyes

It becomes a routine thing while you’re home honestly, and you try your best to hide it from Atsumu because you just KNOW you would never hear the end of it; for all he knows, you met him that one time at the bar and that was that

Everything is going smoothly until you slip up at one of their games

You were sitting in the waiting area with the team (mostly talking to Atsumu), when he just says something that makes your short circuit

Atsumu: what kind of animal do ya think omi would be? An octopus maybe?

You: yeah I mean with those flexible wrists it makes sense

Atsumu: what the fawk🤠

He’s like… how do you even know about his flexible wrists IT TOOK ME 6 MONTHS TO GET TO THAT STAGE WITH HIM-

Oops, lmfao so you kind of tell him about everything and he’s literally shocked for you, mostly because he doesn’t want you to get hurt :(

Atsumu: So I see he’s just sleeping with ANYONE anyone

LMAO noo he definitely thinks you’re too good for him and he kind of lectures you, telling you that he had a hunch that he messes around with girls like that, but also you’re an adult and you can take care of yourself, and it isn’t like it’s a serious thing!!

Meanwhile, Omi is like going through a bit of a crisis all alone because everything around him reminds him of you or something you said when you were together

He got with people who were compatible sexually often, but he never had the urge to have them stay over after the deed; he usually immediately called them an uber and wouldn’t speak to them again

He found himself thinking about seeing you in the stands at his games, wishing you were there to cheer for him only, and he adored the way you respected his boundaries unlike many of his hookups

Atsumu probably notices something is off with him at practice

Atsumu: hey…if ya ever want to talk about somethin’-

Sakusa: no

Girl… he doesn’t disclose any of this to anyone

Its nearing the end of your break, and you head over to sakusa’s for probably the last time before you go back to school

You’re kind of at the point where you don’t think anything will happen and you know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, and it goes how it usually goes? Except he kind of hugs you goodbye and your heart goes: 🦋🦋🦋

You go back to school, occasionally texting Tsumu about your graduate program, and before you know it, like 5 months pass by and you’re back for summer!

Tsumu texts you and is like… sorry but I’m forcing you to be my plus-one tonight for this dinner thing I have to go to

So you dress up and he comes to pick you up, and you’re really not sure why you were surprised to see Kiyoomi sitting at the table when you arrive you give Atsumu a nice smack on the back of the head for not warning you

You sit down at the table after greeting everyone, trying your best to not act awkward when you shoot sakusa a small smile that he returns politely (but you don’t see it because of his mask)

Atsumu sits weirdly close to you the entire dinner with his arm around the back of your chair, and he’s just acting strange in general??? Like he’s bragging about your degree program and about your accomplishments, you just know he’s trying something funny; but you don’t really say anything because you don’t want to disrespect him in front of the team’s staff as a guest

You almost choke on your wine and you catch on when Bokuto starts making comments after Atsumu says something,

Atsumu: …so yeah, pretty much she should be our next president in my humble opinion

Bokuto: 🙈WOAH. WHAT?😍 HOW COULD SHE GET ANY BETTER⁉️🙄 OR HOTTER⁉️💪🏼💋

You, sitting there: 🧍‍♀️

He’s so bad at acting I’m crying..,, it becomes so obvious that they’re trying to make Kiyoomi jealous

(the boys plotted beforehand, trying to get Omi to ask you out officially; after you left, he literally would never shut up about you whenever Atsumu mentioned you, and it was just obvious he was in his feels when it came to you)

Atsumu: she’s studying at a café tonight for finals

Sakusa: Yeah so I’m glad you brought it up, because I’ve been thinking about it for days. Fine I guess I’ll say it. Her favorite coffee blend is French roast and she only likes a dash of sugar with a lot of cream, but it has to be hazelnut creamer or else she doesn’t like any-

Everyone in the gym: 🗿

LMAO ANYWAYS ITS LOWKEY WORKING you look over at him and his face is like stone.. girl..

The dinner is almost over and Atsumu gets up to go to the restroom with a wink I hate him, and you get up to catch a breath of fresh air outside

You sit on a bench for a minute, calming yourself down after the eventful dinner, but then you see the door to the restaurant swing open, Sakusa looking around the corner before spotting you

Your heart pounds in your chest as he walks over and asks if he can join you, inspecting the bench before sitting down, pulling his mask down as well

He eases into a conversation by just asking you how you’re doing, basic stuff, but then in the middle of you going off on a tangent about your stupid professor, he stops you

“I missed you.”

He crosses his legs, not looking at you as he takes your hand, intertwines it with his, and places it in his lap

You gaze at him, taken back at his confession, noticing the slight pinkness tinging his pale cheeks

You say you missed him too, and then he’s asking you if you would like to go on an actual date with him

You: wait are you asking me out officially?

Him: Yes. No I’m not. Yes I am❤️

SKSLD Please he’s awkward help him a little, you agree and then you hear a tap on the window behind you, you turn around to see Tsumu, Bokuto and Adriah behind you with big grins on their faces LMFAO 🤡

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, but you don’t miss the small upturn of the corners of his lips as he hears Bokuto happily scream through the glass

[ariaisabitch]

My reactions to Love Is Blind S2 E3 but it's part 2

ok I forget what happened honestly uhhh

oh she's anxious NOW? girl..

Bro didn't you JUST talk to Sal about Mallory and now you're shocked to find out she was talking to him? Jarette.. Honey..

Ok well he's meeting Iyanna. If he proposes to her like Mallory didn't just happen ima be upset.. Awww she's so cute.

Oh ok he's gonna tell her. Nice. I love that he's being completely honest with her. Ok she seems pissed. Fair enough. I wanna see how she takes this. Cause I'd definitely feel like second place. LMAO WHY DOES HE HAVE A LIGHT SABER?? HUH?? ITS JUST SAD MUSIC AND THEN IT CUTS TO HIM POKING THE GROUND WITH A LIGHT SABER!? Oh shit she's walking out. She's sobbing in the hallway. Aw baby.. I love her so much.. She's a sweetheart. NOO SHES CRYING ON THE FLOOR NOOOO PLS MY HEART

Who tf is this guy? OH ITS SAL LMAO I LEGIT SAW SALVADOR AND WAS LIKE WHO TF?? Ok he seems really genuine, but Idk I get bad vibes. I KNOW SHE DID NOT JUST SAY SHE FEELS REALLY GOOD AFTER JARRETTE! Bruhhhh what. Ok ok we proposing. Gettin a cute little ring moment. Cute. If she says no I'm gonna shit myself laughing. Oh ok she said yea. At least they're happy. That's nice ig. LMAO I SEEM SO UNIMPRESSED. I wonder if they watch the show back to see each others reactions when they were in the pods. AWW HE ASKED FOR CONSENT TO KISS HERER! Ok nah he's cute. Change my mind.

Ew ok we're back to J2. She's going through? Idk I for some reason thought she was just gonna dip. LMAO SHES DRINKING BEFORE MEETING HIM! He seems so happy this is literally jessica and mark pt.2 omg. I feel like she's still just gonna dip at the resort or something. OH GOD NO THE KISS WAS SO AWKWARD OH GOD! HE JISY IMMEDIATELY WENT TO KISS HER AND IT LANDED ON HER NOSE AND THEN SHE HAD TO READJUST AND SHE OMG RHAT WAS HORRID I CANT. Ok wait he took off his jacket he's fuckin jacked. Damn dude. Get it. But I'm scared that we're only getting Mark's statements and not hers. Hmmm.

Ok back to Jarrette, guessing he's gonna propose to Iyanna now. I respect that he's being honest and straight forward with her. It's nice to see in this show through whatever the fuck is going on with CSI.

SHE SAID YES! Awww! She's so fuckin cute.

Ok Hi Mallory I guess we're seeing them meet now. Girl you're fucking hot, shut up. Ooooh that was a long kiss. This is so cute. I love them. The way he looks at her. So cute. LMAO SHE DOESNT THINK HES CUTE! I mean I thought he was fairly attractive. I mean I don't like dudes so that could be why LMAO. Like him and Jarrette were the cutest imo

Ok Iyanna and Jarrette time. My favs. Let's see. Intense music. do so do do da da uh do do dah duh daaaaaa do. She's so awkward it's cute. Aww he's so in love. LMFAO SHE DID NOT "He has a big head, so I'm a little nervous for my cervix" THIS GIRL I LOVE HERRRR!!! DID THEY JUST PLAY PATTY CAKE AS THE DOORS CLOSED!?

RESORT TIME! Oh I almost forgot about Danielle and Nick. LOL sorry guysss 😅 bro Lauren and Cameron should be helping host this. I really hope they at least show up.

Oh jesus christ. So much fuckin kissing. I am so uncomfy.

Shayne is immediately their for the sex, jesus. She's being all playful and he wants affection? Seems like a switcharoo to me.

He...He makes his own.... toothpaste? I- he.... what?? "Brush until I feel good" Bro... "I make my own body wash too" Jesus lord all-mighty. "I'm for sure switching out his toothpaste" LMAO

Ok J2 and Ken are interacting a lot better than I thought. He's eating meat for the first time in 8 years for her? Ok they're having the differences talk. I think? Ok setting boundaries.. cute.. Ok maybe not she immediately wants to sleep in different rooms? She's leaving now? HUH? WHAT?? Girl... At least he's still being positive about it...? Last time people slept in different rooms it didn't- OG MY GOD SHES LEAVING? WHAT THE FUCK? JUST LIKE THAT? Girl. She is such a b- ok.. Nope. I won't go there.

Mallory and Kyle time. Wait his name is Kyle right? I forget. LOL. OH HIS NAME IS SAL LMFAO my baaaad... This is so awkward.

JARRETTE AND IYANNA YES! "I'm gonna have to wear heals during sex" GIRL "I'm gonna have back problems by the age of 30" This girl is everything. SHES SO CUTE HOLY FUCK THE POLAROID CAMERA. Omg I love them so much. Pool tiiime. Oh shit they got a camera underwater? Gettin a lil personal there.. Oh they're leaving now.. Mhmmm. I see you Iyanna.

Back to Deepti. I feel like every time the camera is on them it's gonna be making out. Yup... Bro "Did you wanna hump?" ok I'm skipping this. I can't.

He eats in bed and watches TV? Bro he is so... ok. "I like a late night snack once in awhile"

Back to Danielle and Nick. Cute. Oh they're.. on the bed.. Ya know these cameras are just everywhere..? Do they just have straight p@rn tapes of these people?

AWWWWWWW NOOOO ITS KYLEEE!! He's all by himself. This is so fucking sad. She literally left him and he's still set on her? Sheesh.

"He's so biiig" "he's so what?🤪" LMAO I LOVE THEM!

Oh no Danielle is sick? PFFFFFFT THIS MOTHER FUCKER WENT "We're physical... We went physical... twice... in three different places"

Back to Deepti and Shake.. Bro they make me so uncomfy.. Is it bad if I skip them every time it shows them? "It's a purely emotional connection" "I don't feel that animalistic connection" Bro... Back to -2700 jesus fuck he's a prick.

LMAO "I had a fun time with Shayne last night... we just... ya know... enjoyed each other's company."

Oop Mallory and Sal. "we just, um ya know" I love the girls reactions. HOW DID HER HAIR STAY SO NICE? BRO IT LOOKS SO SHINY STILL? GIRL HOW?

Jarrette messaging her. Cuuute. "A good musician never reveals his tricks" love that. HE JUST THREW HIS SHORTS BRO LMAO. Oh god the stab scar. Taken a shower together now. Jesus bro. He's testing her LMAOz

Shayne and Natalie going on a boat date. Cute. Ok he doesn't like her playful jokes? Huh?

Oh they're all meeting eachother now. I wonder if Kyle will show up alone LMAO is that mean? "Sallory's in the house" Cuuute "I have a girl crush on Mallory" ok he didn't show up. Oh shit wait. Nick. I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT. Ok she's just still sick. I've never been more relieved for someone to be sick.

Bro they're purposefully stirring up drama with this "meet the people you didn't choose" shit.

Yeah, they're all talking about Kyle and Shaina. "Cheers to Shaina... I mean" BRO WHAT!? Bruh Deepti is just talking about how she likes all the other guys. Girl..

"You have great teeth" Bruh

"That's not a scratch mark, bro"

"She bit it so hard"

"If I was to say somebody would make it, it would probably be Shayne and Natalie" a lot of them are saying that, so maybe I just have a really warped view cause of mister Coach Steve Impersonator over there.

"She feels like my aunt" Bruhhhhh Now he's telling literally every guy? Bro that's gonna circle back around. Are you that stupid?

"I know she's not interested in me, and I want to go home" And now Jarrette is basically flirting with Mallory. C'mon Jarrette I liked you dude..

EDIT:

Somewhere in here there was an episode change I didn't notice so uhhh. Sorry bout that LMAO

[1tsnoya]

HI love can you do a HC where the reader is in like a 'team slumber party" w the whole Karasuno vbc bc hONESTLY my heart is so soft for that idea like they're all jus vibing 😭😭 love my babies so much

IMPORTANT | a/n: i believe that i’m shadowbanned so my message history disappeared and my posts will probs slack for a bit >:( pls don’t mind </3 super sorry babes ! hopefully it gets resolved soon

✧･ﾟkarasuno sleepover✧･ﾟ headcanons

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

↳ it was like 2 in the morning and the gc with the volleyball club was blowing up

↳ everyone was awake and it was just CHAOS

↳ so it made you wonder — wtf would a giant sleepover with us all be like

↳ so u asked just that in the gc

↳ the responses were...

tsuki: no way

yams: cmon it’d be so much fun!!

kageyama: sure

hinata: LETS DO IT

noya: FUCK IT UPPP

tanaka: YUH GET INTO IT

daichi: sounds interesting

tsuki: fine

suga: i’m down!

asahi: me too!

yachi: i’m scared

kiyoko: it’ll be fine yachi

↳ so it was scheduled for friday night at 6pm

↳ and when everyone got there WOW it was so loud there was so much going on

↳ everyone finally calmed down when pizza was ordered hksksjhs

↳ a debate about pineapple on pizza went down

↳ HUGE SUPER MARIO PARTY GAME HOLY SHIT

↳ there were 12 of you (including yourself) and max was 8 players so kiyoko, yachi, asahi, and tanaka sat out

↳ tanaka was yelling at noya and hyping him up though and so was asahi at suga

↳ hinata picked diddy, kageyama picked the goomba, tsuki picked bowser jr, yamaguchi picked shy guy, suga picked yoshi, daichi picked donkey kong HSHSJJSH, and noya picked wario obvi

↳ so. much. SCREAMING

↳ tanaka: “NOYA OHMY- dont fuck this up you need to roll 4- LETS GO BABY LETS GET A-”

↳ he rolled a 4 pure luck and him and tanaka started running around screaming “LETS GOOOOO”

↳ tsuki: “you have 0 stars”

↳ noya: “wtf i’m still gonna win-”

↳ daichi was clueless at first but then really started getting into it

↳ suga was hyping everyone up but was super determined to win

↳ kageyama had the WORST luck. he could have sworn that the game was against him

↳ hinata made fun of him HAA

↳ SUPER CLOSE GAME BETWEEN SUGA AND TSUKISHIMA

↳ tsuki won are u fr?

↳ after another round, tanaka and noya suggested spin the bottle

↳ sigh

↳ they obviously were hoping to kiss kiyoko

↳ she played ONE round. ONE

↳ landed on yachi ofc<3

↳ SO MUCH YELLING WHEN IT WAS JUST A QUICK AND SMALL PECK BETWEEN THEM

↳ yachi was so nervous it was hilarious

↳ OH AND THEN IT LANDED ON TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI

↳ tsuki did it like it was NOTHING

↳ cue the screaming. again

↳ after a few more turns, it started getting late so asahi took some uno cards out of his bag

↳ everybody changed into their jammies and sat in a circle

↳ hinata was wearing some old tee from grammar school as his pj shirt and the first and second years FLAMED him

↳ anyways. uno game. right

↳ tell me why daichi got the worst cards every turn

↳ hinata was peeking at other people’s cards

↳ kageyama was pissed off by how many cards he kept having to pick up

↳ so. many. plus 4 cards. from suga

↳ but ohohoh he got some karma

↳ yamaguchi placed down a +4 to give to yachi (he picked it up and was s o s o r r y) then she placed another one down to give to hinata, THEN HE PLACED ANOTHER +4 AND LASTLY TANAKA ADDED 4 AND GAVE IT TO SUGA

↳ 16 fucking cards- he was scared

↳ yamaguchi won <3

↳ and then asahi whipped out another game

↳ family feud....

↳ you can already tell how bad this is gonna get

↳ team #1 consisted of: hinata, kageyama, daichi, yachi, nishinoya

↳ team #2: tsukishima, asahi, suga, kiyoko, tanaka

↳ yamaguchi wanted to be the steve harvey of the night so you helped him keep track of points

↳ in the gc, asahi texted a msg for someone to bring a button

↳ tanaka brought a “nut” one 💀

↳ you placed it in the middle of the table. boom. what could go wrong?

↳ round one began...

↳ tanaka vs daichi

↳ yams: “name something you find sand in after a day at the beach”

↳ the fucking button SLAMMED AGAINST THAT TABLE AND SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BREAK

↳ tanaka: “MY ASS-”

↳ the GIGGLING THAT ESCAPED EVERYONE’S MOUTHS-

↳ daichi was just “:O um. my turn-or?”

↳ noya: did he get the point?

↳ kageyama: he is on the OTHER TEAM

↳ hinata: i guess but it was a good answer..

↳ i’m pretty sure you can already guess what team won

↳ a few more rounds were played and it was like midnight so you put a movie on

↳ tanaka noya and hinata sat in the front, laughing at every single thing going on

↳ kageyama: “hinata if u don’t shut ur FUCKING MOUTH”

↳ yamaguchi: “can you raise the volume?”

↳ tsukishima: “no they just need to shut the fuck up before i go over there and-”

↳ a pillow was thrown...

↳ shit went down..

↳ asahi: “come on guys let’s just watch the movie”

↳ daichi threw a pillow at him

↳ cue the surprised pikachu face @ daichi

↳ yachi was sCared

↳ so her, kiyoko, and you snuck off to the bathroom while chaos erupted between the boys

↳ kiyoko: “okay when they all fall asleep, i want to mess with them”

↳ yachi: “are you sure that they won’t kill us-?”

↳ OHOHOHO a plan was devised

↳ you three waited until the screaming died down a bit and then walked out

↳ feathers everywhere, uno cards all over the floor, and the nut button was smashed...

↳ wtf happened you left to the bathroom for like 6 minutes-

↳ “ummm...”

↳ “so...”

↳ “bed..time?”

↳ it was 1:30 in the morning and i’m sure you can already tell who was wide awake

↳ daichi, kageyama, asahi, yamaguchi, and tsukishima were trying to get ready to sleep

↳ you and the girls were trying to stay awake for your little plan

↳ hinata, noya, tanaka, and suga were just... wired

↳ yeah did suga surprise u? nope not me. that boy is chaotic at sleepovers don’t @ me

↳ they set up a smash game (while the others were sleeping) so tsuki woke back up to beat everyones ass-

↳ it started getting loud until daichi got up like - “shut✨the fuck✨up✨”

↳ so everyone quieted down HSJSHS

↳ you joined in on the game and teams were formed

↳ you and tsuki vs hinata, noya, and suga

↳ tsuki: “just pls don’t fuck this up-”

↳ you and him won😫obvi

↳ at the end when it was only tsuki and suga, he kept RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM

↳ suga was just — :p u cant catch me

↳ and when he did.. yikes..

↳ everyone eventually fell asleep

↳ except you, kiyoko, and yachi

↳ kageyama grumbles in his sleep, daichi sleeps like a serial killer, suga was just-he looked like an angel, asahi was lowkey breathing loud, noya and tanaka were SPOONING, hinata kicks in his sleep, tsuki sleeps with his headphones in?? and yamaguchi turns around every second

↳ it was time for the plan nehehehe

↳ kiyoko put makeup on kageyama, tanaka, and asahi

↳ yachi started doodling on daichi’s, noya’s, and yamaguchi’s faces

↳ you put an alarm set to go off in the morning and blast ‘deepthroat’ by cupcakke on tsuki’s phone ***yes he still had his headphones in

↳ and you all put some creepy clown doll right next to hinata’s face so that it could be the first thing he wakes up to

↳ next thing you know it’s 7AM and all you hear is “hUMPME FUCK ME-”

↳ tsuki was the first one awake and was already grumpy

↳ he thought that it was noya and tanaka’s idea to mess with him so he like shoved them awake

↳ “cupcakke? really?” and then he stopped to look at their faces

↳ yachi drew some fucked up shit on noya’s face and tanaka was wearing red lipstick with pink eyeshadow

↳ “it’s too early for this...” HE LEFT TO THE BATHROOM LMFAO

↳ oh god and then everyone woke up

↳ you and the girls were fake sleeping and listening to it all go down

↳ breakfast was.. interesting

↳ hinata was traumatized from that clown incident (he scream sounded like it came from his little sister) the boys were trying to rub off their makeup and it was smudged all over their faces, and the other boys were just ... trying to ignore the drawings on them

↳ ofc yachi drew a mustache on daichi

↳ oh and noya was trying to play the drawings off as tattoos😔

↳ you don’t even wanna know about breakfast-

↳ everyone agreed on pancakes and well...

↳ batter was everywhere and the smoke detector went off

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers��� timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

fuck it. sign your X on the line reaction time

THE ARTWORK???? Oh I am in trouble

bartender jamie pulling all the girls numbers my beloved......

jamie being kindred spirits w a grumpy old man hahahahahaha

lmao straight to it i love u praise kink queen dani (does this article actually exist asking for a friend)

dani and jamie being absolute horn dogs for each other so true!!

LMAO JAMIE INSTANTLY GOING IN FOR THE KILL

“something about Dani that made her feel like knocking down walls with a sledgehammer” pls i love that so much

Hannah and Owen being the kindest souls n taking the girls under their wings I know that’s right!

“She was a vision, and Jamie was so fucked.” mood

eep this like. honeymoon phase attraction and affection looks so good on them oh my god I am yearning

Dani intentionally fucking w Jamie akjdhfkfjdfghdkjfh I love her

ohhhh Jamie v much likes being told what to do huh??? i wonder how that is going to make me lose my mind later

Damn Dani sdkjdhfkdjgh she is working and ur just gonna send her racy pics?? nice

lmao they are so horny. we love some across the room foreplay. HAHAHAHAH HANNAH KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT THEY’RE UP TO

how u gonna go from horny as hell to soft as a marshmellow just like that lmao i love

obsessed w this being tagged edging and we’re a good third of the way in and all we’ve had is teasing THE LAYERS

bro i am losing my mind Dani Clayton queen of texting sjdhdkjf

they’re so soft Jamie being all I know I’m a grinch and Dani being all sweet and reassuring abt it and THEN Dani is texting her pure filth I am deceased

JAMIE DOING RESEARCH SO SHE CAN GET IT RIGHT PLS I LOVE HER THAT’S SO SWEET

the way I have to keep taking breaks so I don’t spontaneously combust

fuck they are so sweeeeeet. Jamie decorating her whole place just for Dani they’re so in loooooooove

the way they keep teasing each other is so cute like “No,” Dani huffed, brow pinched. “Shut up, I’m trying to do something.” is so affectionate??? they can be silly goofy in the middle of it all and it only makes it better pls I love them so much.

godddddd Dani making Jamie undress her is so top fucking tier I am beside myself

dfgkjhdfkgjdhf not Karen not now

ok jesus fuck they’re doing it it’s happening.

hmmmmmm Jamie being all bossy and in control I am malfunctioning

god fuck this is hot I am blushing

oh my god Jamie you absolute teeeeease adkjfhdkj that’s so mean but like... go on

hnnnnng Jamie promising she can do the same to her another time. fuck

poor Dani. Jamie u r so mean (but like.... good job sdjfdhjdh)

christ they really are just getting started huh. iconic. stamina of the gods

hnnnng I LOVE Dani getting what she wants good for her.

“It was only fair that Dani got to unwrap something too tonight.”  dfgkjdfhkjghfkjhgkjdf yes exactly it’s equality.gif

god Jamie is such a teeeeease lmfao I love her

get it ladies

aww Jamie buying fancy accessories for her girl

danggg they are really going for it whew

aww Jamie softly taking care of her afterrrrr

and Dani also “taking care of” Jamie after skfhdkfjgh match made in heaven

dang ok Dani Clayton is so much in the best way I adore her

holy shit ur really doin it I am fucking hyperventilating lol

jamie really said once more from the top!

honestly good for them I hope they sleep for like 27 hours after this they really did it gold medals all round

plsss why are they so soft I love them I want to be them

Dani spoiling Jamie w jewelry is so cute like both of them getting to give/recieve rly sweet meaningful things they’ve not really had w other people is so cute I cant

oh my god this is so !!!!!! “I want to watch flowers grow with you” aaahhh my heart

a keeeeyyyyyy aww Jamie u big softie dfjdgfhg but then getting all worried it was too much as if babe

god that was so cute and hot and ticked so many boxes adkjgdfh ok now I have to try and go back to normal life when I wasn’t reading this??? how