#i fucking hate my major
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#so for the mutuals that have been keeping up with the cute little tidbits i’ve been posting about my life—#i fucking hate my major#& after almost crying myself to the point of nausea again i finally did some more research on changing my major#i think i’m going to change my major from information systems to business administration#basically info systems is business & computer science & the bulk of 90% of my issues come from coding#like yes i also dislike my business classes & excel sucks but i find those classes to be easier & manageable compared to my coding ones#not to mention it’s mostly within the wheelhouse of my current major so it only adds two classes to my current grad plan#like yeah there’s gonna be more finance classes which i hate like i hate the math/accounting aspect#but there’s also more marketing type classes where i might actually be able to have a little fun and show some creativity#i imagine my dad will be upset with me—he wants me to stay in this major/not ‘be a quitter’/just ‘try harder’ to learn useful skills#but the alteration isn’t that bad & he can still help me with excel or whatever else#so the change should be good. i still plan to stick it out this semester because i think it’ll be a mess if i drop my classes#not to mention i still need like half the classes i’m taking rn#but since i’m getting my masters in library science it’s one of those things where it literally doesn’t matter at all what—#i get my bachelor’s in#anyways#rose.txt
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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get a grip loverboy !!!
#this post brought to you by my gay ass watching this show#'' my god ... theyre all so beautiful ...''#also i just think trip is very shippable#he is mr loverman#my art#star trek#star trek enterprise#trip tucker#t'pol#malcolm reed#jonathan archer#hoshi sato#travis mayweather#major hayes#yes i included hayes bc i think hes a baddie thank you very much#EDIT HIS FUCKING ARM IS TOO LONG I HATE MY LIFE#EVERY TIME WITHOUT FAIL I ONLY FIND THE MISTAKES AFTER I POST THEM#WHYYY7!.!#edit number two oh my god i forgot shran 😭😭#jeffrey combs when i get you
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thank you so much to the fics that pointed out explicitly that all of Neil's scars that he mentions are on his front, which implies very few of them were received while running and instead imply that he got them while fighting back.
I hate it here.
#my posts#it fits his stupid fucking character so much I hate it#like this man who only sees himself as someone who runs and doesn't stand up for people#only to immediately do exactly that at the drop of a hat WAY before he actively decides to#it makes so much sense that all his major injuries (minus the road rash I suppose) aren't on his back#im unwell#aftg#neil josten
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forcing myself to post my first attempt at making a comic it's from some months ago i was listening to snake eater on loop. WHY IS THIS SO EMBARRASSING.
#i kinda fucking hate it im going to explode#don't look at it even tho i'm literally posting it#my art#metal gear fanart#mgs#metal gear solid#metal gear#mgs3#snake eater#revolver ocelot#major ocelot#naked snake#big boss#bosselot
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Brooklyn’s phone is a hot commodity, isn’t it?
#this took me all fucking day#and this is my first grand scale edit ever#are you guys proud :3#jurassic world#jurassic world chaos theory#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwct#jwcc#they both reached for the gun#is that still relevant#darius bowman#kenji kon#brooklyn jwcc#sammy gutierrez#yasmina fadoula#i remember when Yaz was Brooklyn’s biggest hater#fun times#they all hated eachother season one#half joking#seriously her phone is a major plot point in both shows#tumblr don’t eat my quality please#:3
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this man is just doing his best to keep it together rn
#genshin impact#my art#kaveh#i Want to grind and gnahs kaveh between my teeth i love him so much#congrats to kaveh for being the most beautiful man in teyvat actually#(i swear if i get baizhu before him i will sob and cry and curl up into a little ball. that is a Threat)#also so sorry for disappearing for like a month *jazz hands* finals#i love my major i just hate how fucked the group project system we have goin on is#i’m gonna be buried in that fucking studio at this rate
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Aziraphale and Crowley as the Little Twin Stars 💙⭐🩷
I got the idea in my head and couldn't get it out till I drew it.
There's a transparent more Sanrio style flat color version under the cut ↓
If you want to use the transparent version you can as long as you credit me and don't erase my name off the image 👍
#good omens#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#good omens fanart#angel crowley#sanrio#little twin stars#demos art#digital art#artists on tumblr#i had to color correct this shit bc the colors look so different on my laptop than they do ipad#and the majority of ppl will see the colors wrong#IT LOOKED SO FUCKING MUTED IT WAS SO BAD#dont ask me how i did the space background btw bc I DONT KNOW#i keep staring at this i gotta post it before i hate it
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DRDT CHARACTER THEME PLAYLIST - My Personal Interpretation
Warning : This playlist was deleted by DRDTdev and thus this is mostly meant to be something fun, and also because people have posted a lot of interpretations that I don't agree with (and I've always wanted to make my own).
So a while back DRDTdev made a playlist that they've now deleted, however I've seen a lot of people making their own posts about who fits which song. However since I'm not "like the other girlsTM", i had mixed feelings on how certain songs were assigned.
Some songs will be exactly the same as some other posts, mainly because they make the most sense to me but I do have some interesting shifts here and there that I will try to explain.
However I want to get the obvious ones out of the way first
UNDEAD ENEMY : David Chiem
I think this one is the most obvious song in the playlist. The song talks about a person who has put on a mask and is miserable trying to addear to the expectations of that mask. There is a lot of pent up frustration and anger in those lyrics which also is very fitting for David.
There is also the hints of something more behind those feelings of hatred, despite how much he's learned to hate the world there's still a sliver of him that still wants genuine companionship.
YESMAN : Nico Hakobyan
This song already fits Nico purely from the introvert lines. I'm joking, that's not just why I considering Yesman to be Nico's song. This song fits really well with Nico's frustration with being a pushover (or you could say a Yesman) and just how society has always treated them poorly.
The song itself is about being forced to do something, like a boring job, and despite how much hatred you feel you still keep on trying to keep your head low and do what your told. I think all of that really fits Nico's arc and what we know of them so far. Someone who constantly is pushed down by other and has been taught that they need to accept it.
SHUNRAN : Arei Nageishi
This song could also fit Ace as another aggressive person who just wants companionship but I personally think this song fits Arei way better especially with the beginning line ("I won't pay attention to small fry" has a lot of Arei vibes).
This song fits Arei's desire to want love and the contradiction that comes with her aggressive personality. She feels that it's unfair how life punished her which fits a lot with the line "They say that praying to be loved is a sin" as she was constantly denied that love. The lines as well about your personality slipping and crying reminds me of Arei's breakdown.
Hi-Fi Evolution Theory : Veronika Grebenshchikova
This song is very vague but despite that it is 100 pourcent a Veronika song.
I don't fully know what the song means in itself but the lyrics really fit Veronika's issues with boredom and her enjoyement of the killing game. There's a lot of lines about laughing and wanting to be entertained which just goes with her really well with her character.
Cartoons : Rose Lacroix
Ok, I think I lied when I said Undead Enemy was the most obvious song, THIS is the most obvious song. I don't think there's much analysis to be done to convince anyone that this is would Rose's theme.
This song reflects well Rose's depression and pain surrounding her talent and just how her life turned out in general. It kinda has that dissociative numbness in the lyrics that just fits her really well.
Sing Along : Teruko Tawaki
This song really fits Teruko extremely well especially her abandonnement issues. The song itself sounds aggressive but it oozes of longing and sadness.
A lot of the lyrics fit her feelings of being betrayed by Xander and Min, people she's gotten close to in a short time but immediatly ended up betraying her. It also fits her feeling towards her brother who ended up leaving her as well.
Now let's take a break and tackle the Instrumental songs !! This is where things start to change from other posts so get ready.
Spitfire (05 Version) : J Rosales
This one just fits J's vibes quite well. It's aggressive but also isn't too serious or intimidating, it just sounds like something J would listen in the car.
It also just has this...manly energy (?) or punk-ish energy that J has, it fits her rejecting the traditional feminity her mom tried to force on her.
Main Theme, Diamond is Unbreakable : Xander Matthews
This song is literally Xander vibes and you can fight me on that, it has a very dramatic and grandiose sound (especially when the piano comes in) that just fits how Xander holds himself (as you can see with that pose).
It's the exact type of theme I would expect from someone being the Ultimate Rebel. There's also more actively aggressive parts that I think also fit Xander, as we see he's got a short tamper when his ideologies are challanged and he also just is surprisingly quick to resort to violence.
desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Charles Cuevas
You can fight me again because you cannot tell this Bill Nye intro ass track doesn't fit Charles. Again it's hard to argue considering assigning instrumental tracks is really just based on vibes however this song really has a huge science show feel to it.
I could imagine hearing it while Charles is doing chemistry stuff or theorizing during the class trial.
Now let's go back to the lyrical songs, and this is where things start to go a bit crazy and I might need to justify myself a bit more.
asymptotic : Min Jeung
I know Charles is considered the resident nerd guy but you cannot NOT give the song about math puns to Min.
I think this song works really well for Min's relationship with Teruko. It especially reminds me of what Teruko says to Min before she gets excecuted that they "should've never gotten attached to one another".
This song is about a romantic relationship that could never happen, which I think represents Min's own feelings towards Teruko. About how they could've been closer but now they'll always be drifting apart.
How Min in a way sacrificed her life for Teruko but again she'll always be "out of reach". A relationship that could never happen under the killing game's circumstances.
RUNAWAY : Levi Fontana
I think this song especially with what Levi revealed to us latest episode REALLY fits him.
A song about a person who is repeteadly failling to try and "become better". The lines about "searching" and "tripping" goes in line with Levi's behavior in chapter 2. He's awkwardly trying to reach an ideal of the person he's supposed to be. He wants to be a "good person" but from the day he was born he was completely denied that ideal (aka "Dreams of who i want to be I'm seeing every empty page")
But there is a silver lining to all of this, the lyrics work with the moral of Levi's character. He doesn't need to run away from who he truly is, that what he considers an obstruction to his goal is simply just a part of himself he should accept. He doesn't need to "run away".
tip toes : Hu Jing
This song already just screams Hu purely from the line "I'm reaching for something more than this feeling of being important". She's a person who wants to protect others, be someone who others can rely on but in part it's very much driven by her own ego.
The lyrics are slightly vague but the parts about her "future" I feel like really gives vibes about how she used to be someone who had givne up on her own life but now is determined to persue it no matter what.
I didn't put this lyric in but "Take this ghost of me with the tide to die" again really feels like it references Hu's past and how she's ashamed of it. The song's lyrics give me a lot of feelings of regret but also determination which I think encapsulate Hu's character well.
Polygonal : Ace Markey
I've never seen people consider this one for Ace which is really surprising but also not because this song is very vague. Despite that, I do think this song 100 pourcent fits Ace purely because of some lines that really fit neatly with Ace's character.
The repeated mentions of how anyone would want to be loved/have someone to laugh with, it reminds me a lot of how Ace reacted to Levi saying he didn't care if he died. Ace desperately someone to give a shit about him, he'd rather take pity than nothing at all but he's also a self sabotager who drives anyone who gets close away from him.
"Your increasing honesty, I hate that about you" Honestly really feels like it's Ace saying that to Levi ? I wouldn't know fully how to explain it but it just really gives that vibe.
The song also seems to go on about a person's suffering about how their life is "full of failures" which again goes unfortunatly with Ace who seems to just have lived a pretty miserable life. Having only one person he could call a friend, being forced into an Ultimate Talent that both ruined his body and mental health .
Drawing Pins : Arturo Giles
Ok this one is probably the most farfetched pick, i'd say ? Considering, however, how little we know about Arturo I feel like this song has a lot of room to fit his characters and certain lines already do in multiple ways.
The parts about not being able to fit in, both makes me think of how he's kind of just, openly mocked within the group. However it also really makes me think about Arturo's family, him wanting to distance himself from them and his apparent disdain from them as well.
"Tell me what you did it for" "Cause I can't figure it out" I honestly think those parts really fit well with Arturo's sister committing suicide. He doesn't know why she did it something like that and he refuses to see it as his fault, it haunts him, he can't figure out why she did it because he can't fathom the idea that in reality it truly was because of him.
The "what do i have to do to be loved by you" parts I think are where things get a bit weird. My thought process would be Arturo's feelings towards "pretty people", him becoming obsessed with J because of her mother really makes me think that he's looking out for some kind of validation in a way.
Good grief : Eden Tobisa
I'm sorry this song is not fucking Whit, it's Eden, y'all can suck it /lh
This song really just fits way to well for me with Eden's feelings about Arei (weither she's the culprit or not even if I don't think she is anymore). The entire of the trial of chapter 2, Eden is struggling with the fact that she lost Arei and what could have been. This song really makes me think about how she tells David that she "knows she's dead and that she's never coming back". The slight upbeat-ness of the song really fits as well with Eden's attempt to try and stay cheerful despite how sad she feels.
I think Arei's death will be a very big sticking point in Eden's character.
Also the time motif with "Every minute and every hour" just fits way too good for it to be ignored.
In terms of other lyrics, I agree some of them fit Whit a bit but there are certain things that click way too well with Eden (and also none of the other songs fit Eden at all). I mean Eden's secret quote literally is "You can't go back no matter how hard you try" so clearly her character is heavily tied with grief as well.
"If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle...." Really feels to me like Eden having to learn to be stronger and stop blaming herself ? It really just sounds like advice that would be given to someone like Eden who wants to be upbeat and confident but just simply is too prone to be insecure.
"Get drunk, call me a fool. Put me in my place" Again those lyrics really just feel like they fit Arei and Eden's relationship. Arei calling Eden a "fool" and "putting her in her place", it just ends up really matching perfectly in my opinion.
Mistaken Belief of Love : Whit Young
AHAH ! You have fallen into my trap of this post actually being secretly propaganda about how "Mistaken Belief of Love" really fits what's hinted about Whit's character so far !!!
Yeah, no, this song really does not make sense with anyone else other than Whit ? Both the lyrics and vibes do not match with anyone. The song's whole thing is about "love" and Whit's a fucking matchmaker, thematically it just fits like a puzzle piece. Not only that but Whit's whole thing (that actually hasn't rlly appeared in the series itself all that often) is that he seems to not be able to find love himself and is doomed to be single. It reinforces this idea that, yeah Whit's song would be about love in some way or another (I talk about love in general, this song is not a love song despite what you'd think)
It also works really well with Whit's secret quote being "We often idolize the dead" meaning Whit probably saw his mother as someone she wasn't. Perhaps she was abusive or neglectful, or she hid something from him that truly shows that she may not have cared about him at all.
There are also lines that just fit Whit really well like the "deception, boasting, saying "I openly laughed at it"", just really gives giant Whit vibes for me ? Same with the mention of "peekaboo" since we know Whit kinda holds on to childish things like that (his socks, the fact he uses fruity shampoo for kids).
Anyways, this was mostly for fun and also because I desperatly to make my own list because I had some Hot Takes Tm.
#drdt#danganronpa despair time#Teruko Tawaki#Rose Lacroix#Min Jeung#Hu Jing#Veronika Grebenshchikova#Levi Fontana#Arei Nageishi#Nico Hakobyan#David Chiem#Whit Young#Charles Cuevas#Xander Matthews#J Rosales#Arturo Giles#Ace Markey#drdt analysis#Why did this post take so fucking long why did I decide to do a cool visual thing#I hate my life#this was purely self indulgent and I feel slightly bad for discussing the playlist again considering it's content DRDTdev has deleted#However I really like assigning songs to characters and I haven't seen one post where I agreed with the majority of the picks so I had to d#this
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hello Hypno hater i want you to tell me exactly why you despise this pokemon without mentioning pokedex entries or creepypastas or anything regarding some fetish 🎤 Go
#it's reputation on the internet fucking sucks i hate you guys#''hurrdurr it kidnaps children!!! weirdo freak pokemon!!!!!'' I fucking kill you with a large rock#not every pokedex entry is true Btw. and even if that did happen its not like it had weirdo intentions like what most people assume +#not every Hypno is gonna do that shit?#ive liked this creature before i had any access to the internet i liked it solely bc it looked silly and i had one in my SoulSilver party.#so finding out a large majority of pokemon fans hate this thing is 🧍 it makes me feel super awkward#whatever
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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)
#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell#and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling#Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy#he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore#fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors#so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested#as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments#and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group#separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader#and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him#but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line#like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security#one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again#“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying#education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy#Trigun Uni! AU#because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood#vash#Nai saverem#millions knives#lenssi draws#pen!
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Desires 💫🍴
#ah yes the tale old as time#a trans guy likes a character? BOOM NOW THEY'RE TRANS TO BABEY!#*Too#hate my dislexic ass#but in all seriousness#I've put so much symbolism with so little elements I feel clinically insane#also those wings were supposed to be swan wings but they ended up looking like Falin ones WHICH I DON'T MIND AT ALL#thistle#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#mad mage#lunatic magician#thistle dungeon meshi#i am an arts major AND IT SHOWS#FUCK.
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Hibrides and Brakul having the world’s saddest booze-fueled girl’s night, probably a few months before the start of the story.
Anyway here's an extensive rundown of their shared history.
Hibrides Uryashta was the eldest daughter of a chancellor of the imperial city-state of Erubinnos (his lordship Erub Uryashta). She was brought up with great privilege and security, but (like most daughters of noblemen) was destined to be used as a bargaining chip in a political marriage arrangement. She was taken from her friends and family and moved to the city of Wardin at the age of 16 to complete her pledged marriage with Janeys Haidamane, the failson of the trade magnate Haidamane family. Janeys spent about a week poorly attempting to behave like a husband, and then took the first excuse to flee and engage in a petty military campaign against raiders on the Yellowtail trade route. She found herself left alone in his villa for three years with only hired servants for company. She made a few attempts to break into the city's elite social scene, but was quite shy and failed to make any headway.
Brakul had just spent a year and a half in a bit of a whirlwind. He was brought into a skirmish at the behest of an allied clan, who had been raiding the Yellowtail route and now was under attack by combined forces of an enemy clan and Imperial Wardi mercenaries. He killed one of the mercenary commanders and was captured as a prisoner of war, but was spared at Janeys' behest (who fucking hated that guy thought it was awesome that he got killed with a rock) and was ultimately recruited into the group. He had a chance to go back home, but actively chose to deadbeat dad out on his wife and child to be with his newfound lovequest, Janeys. He spent a year and a half as a mercenary, bonded closely with Janeys and swore brotherhood with him, and was eventually brought home to the city of Wardin with him. He found himself in the odd position of being simultaneously scorned as a foreigner and 'heathen', and the legal kin of one of the richest families in the city (and effectively the secret male concubine of their only male heir).
It was in this context that the two of them met, with Hibrides now being 19 and Brakul turning 27.
The two were initially wary of each other (Hibrides was particularly put off by his 'heathen' status) but bonded very quickly, partly due to their mutual states of being unmoored from their old lives, but in large part being just a natural chemistry. They had a lot of common interests and enjoyed learning from each other. Hibrides introduced him to traditional verse poetry (of which she was very fond). Brakul taught her how to ride khait, and even gave her a gelding from his own collection as a gift. They became very close friends over the next couple of years and spent much of their free time together.
A big part of the dynamic was that both of them are gay in a cultural context where there is no concept of Being gay, marriages are usually arranged and always between a man and a woman, and having children is a societal expectation. Each of them began to see the other as an ideal husband/wife, ie "if I had to marry why couldn't it have been him/her?". For Hibrides' part, Brakul had all the traits she would want in a husband: he was a pretty good friend and easy to get along with, he seemed like he'd do an excellent job of fulfilling expected roles as a husband and father (she didn't know about the wife and kid for a while), he treated her as an equal, and, most of all, had no interest whatsoever in fucking her. They were both in a sort of platonic emotional affair, and grew to love each other deeply.
Hibrides was pretty quick to catch on that something was going on between Brakul and Janeys, and found it strange and offputting but ultimately none of her concern. Her husband only being interested in his sworn brother and leaving her to her own devices suited Hibrides just fine, and Brakul always just kinda being There meant she was living with what had become her closest friend.
The stable state of this Feelings Triangle began to change in the wake of the brilliant plan to get Janeys (gay) (probably infertile) children he could pass off as legitimate via a Brakul/Hibrides pregnancy. It was something all three agreed to as a necessity; it was already drawing scrutiny that Janeys and Hibrides had been married for several years without a pregnancy, and producing heirs is a societal expectation and a central point of an arranged marriage between wealthy elites.
It was especially critical in this case, given Janeys was his family's only male child and only hope of continuing the family line, given both his golden-child sister Faiza and black sheep half sister Couya were Odonii, and thus sworn virgins and would never marry. (There's also a level to this that Janeys was regarded as a complete disappointment by his parents, and his mother made damn sure he knew that his only value at this point was to produce a better male heir to inherit the business. So this was a big fucking deal to him, and to Brakul by extension).
This was also not a route any of them wanted to take on any personal level, least of all Hibrides. She consented to the pregnancy and everything it entailed, but it was inevitably a painful and distressing experience all around. She had never wanted to be a mother to begin with (though had long accepted it as an inevitability), and now found herself with an infant daughter, which only meant it would have to happen again (they needed a male heir after all). And it would be utter social suicide and a profound shame upon her if the child's illegitimacy was discovered, which only added to the stress.
To make things worse, her first pregnancy shifted the entire dynamic with her husband and brother-in-law/best friend. Janeys changed from completely indifferent to actively spiteful and hostile towards her, and things had become extremely uncomfortable between Hibrides and Brakul. It only got worse with Brakul (the only one of them who actually WANTS kids) (kind of haunted by skipping out on his first child) finding it unbearable to be so close to HIS daughter and having to keep up an act that she was not his own, having no direct role in the kids life. He desperately wanted to be a father.
Hibrides, who was going through a fucking lot, started to become vindictive towards him for his role in things. She resented him more than Janeys, because Brakul insisted he cared about her and would desperately try to pretend things were normal, while consistently siding with Janeys against her wishes, including in preventing her from getting a divorce. (His excuse is that the children's legitimacy would be interrogated in a legal setting, which Is likely and Would be absolute social suicide with very real consequences. But the real reason on his part is that if she got out of the marriage, he might never see her or the children again). Hibrides began to do everything in her power to prevent him from having any relationship with his bastard children, even in secret or under the guise of a relative. Sort of an “if I have to suffer to keep up this facade so should you” thing.
They had two children in a span of three years, two girls (ruh roh!) named Erubi and Livya. By this point, Hibrides and Brakul were both experiencing what we would now call Clinical Depression and Alcohol Use Disorder (especially in the latter's case). Hibrides started to have affairs with both men and women, which she was sure to be very obvious about to insult Janeys and Brakul, but was mostly out of loneliness. Brakul turned his complete focus to Janeys and started avoiding Hibrides entirely, in hopes that she would become desperate enough to be willing to make amends (shockingly, this did not happen, and the rift only deepened).
In the present, their relationship status is: fucked. Both of them do still love each other on some level, but this is probably beyond repair. What little time they've spent with each other in the past year is sitting around being miserable and getting plastered. And now Hibrides, Janeys, and Brakul are all forced into the public eye on the pilgrimage together, and with a third child on the way. So that's probably going to be everyone's problem.
#Their relationship is probably my favorite one in this story but there is literally so much going on. Hard to introduce it properly#This doesn't even get into all of it#Do want to make it clear that Brakul is like. Nice on an interpersonal level but he fucking sucks and is not the victim in this dynamic#He's very selfish. He builds his life around having his cake and eating it too and then moping and being sad and etc when he can't#escape the consequences of hurting people around him#I don't like writing dynamics where one person is like the absolute perfect innocent victim like. Hibrides does some just plain#cruel shit to him. But she's REALLY going through it. She's isolated and lonely and the only person in her life who has loved#her in the past decade won't put his own personal interests aside to actually Help Her. And then has the audacity to mope to her about#how sad that makes him.#He at least has a (fucked up and messy but) devoted partnership with a guy who ADORES him and perpetually enables him#While Hibrides is very shy and finds it hard to break out of isolation. She doesn't really have anyone to rely on.#She does have other people in her life in general though. Faiza has always been pretty kind to her and was a major support in#helping her manage her children's affairs and being provided for. But they aren't really friends it's kind of a familial obligation#Couya had been an enigma to her and rarely present (because she hates Janeys) but she's forced to be around him more#towards the start of the story and thus has started to actually interact with Hibrides. They befriend each other and have stuff going#on during the story#hibrides uryashta#brakul red dog#Anyway extreme side note I did warn that there would be like a dozen characters with Erub_ names as well as two major cities and a river#It gets like that with legendary founder figures
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this is soooooooo much better than simon’s pov of watching Malec kiss in the accords hall or wherever they shared their public kiss. say what you want about the arranged marriage but Lydia stood by Alec. she told Alec about his parents past, something they didn’t think was necessary to share, admired Alec for his family duty, and never forced anything on him. I loved the mention of Henry. he’s very underrated in TLH and TID.
the way that Magnus knows alec says it all. I’ve seen book fans saying it’s creepy (as if Magnus not communicating and following teenage alec isn’t creepy??????) but it just shows that alec doesn’t need to say anything and nothing is being forced on him. no one is saying “OMG ALEXANDER JUST COME OUT ALREADY BECAUSE IF YOU DONT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT ME- YEAH ALEC JUST COME OUT ALREADY HOW HARD COULD IT BE (Magnus and jace basically in the books)
I sincerely and seriously love that show Magnus isn’t like that. he’s not trying to force a decision on Alec. he’s not pushy, but he just knows he feels something for Alec and Alec feels it too. but he’s not making Alec come out to the clave. and as we can see, Alec is clearly struggling with his parents expectations and what he truly desires
I don’t know, I’ll always love the iconic wedding scene and the parallels that are attached to it. I think this is one of the many reasons people fell in love with Malec to begin with. I loved them from the second I saw Alec and Magnus but this just made it better. and yeah I will shit on the book because book Malec was done dirty. there was no reason for Simon to have a pov for most of their important discussions and moments. like the fact that he has that pov- when they’re fighting and saying ooooo they’re so dramatic and extra, and to their first public kiss is insane to me. it’s an inappropriate pov that has nothing to do with Simon.
ALSO JUST LOOK AT THAT MOTHERFUCKING KISS AND HOW MAGNUS NEEDS MORE SO ALEC GIVES HIM MORE LIKE THEY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE WE ALL LOVE SHOW MALEC
Magnus and Alec deserved to have a better story in the books but cc didn’t care about them until it made her money. so with everything they did for show Malec, THANK YOU SO MUCH ✨🥹 AND WOW MATT AND HARRY HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MAN I LOVE SHOW MALEC SO MUCH 😭
#anti cassandra clare#anti cc#just my stupid opinions#yeah I fucking love the wedding scene#sue me#alec lightwood#magnus bane#show malec is superior#anti book alec#show alec is superior#show magnus is superior#y’all can say what you want about the show#I’m just saying that the show decided not to copy the books and they have my gratitude#I’ll never understand why majority of book Malec was in Simons pov#or why they couldn’t just fucking talk for once#henry fairchild#love the mention of Henry#also Magnus is iconic in this scene#anti book Magnus#anti tmi#it’s always funny to me how much cc hates the show lmao
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Every time I remember that the most popular jjk ship is gojo x yuji it disturbs me…
it makes me wanna run people over w a truck like i genuinely don’t understand and you caught me at a time where i feel like ranting so please excuse me but like . i get sooooooo annoyed when people say they’re proship like??? i personally don’t conflate proship & dark content together bc i feel like some people who say they’re proshippers do it in an anti-censorship way which is so ??? like most aren’t for censorship like people are fine w dark content like including murder or stuff of that nature but at least w people around me when we say we hate proship it’s the incest/rape/pedophilia stuff… and from that… why would you EVER wanna align yourself w pedophiles/people who are fine with pedophilia??? it makes no sense to me. some people are just SOOOOOOO obsessed w making everything sexual like nothing is safe. not even the IDEA of children!!!!!! pisses me the FUCK off!!!!!! just ship the adults w the adults there’s a hundred adults why the FUCK does your dumbass want to see that adult rape a child. makes me so fucking pissed off beyond belief. it’s also like…….. why does it make Y’ALL pissed off when people say it’s gross/that it’s fucked up 😭 like if you say you agree and you don’t condone this shit IRL then don’t be mad when people call it out. be glad people will call this shit out when you won’t lmfao
edit: had to add this on bc talking to logan i realized that fiction actually does affect some people’s realities bc i’ve heard proshippers say that they used to find pro-shipping disgusting but then they got into it and changed their minds… so you’re telling me… fiction… changed… your outlook… and therefore now you’re fine w the pedo stuff. that’s craaaaaaaaazy . join a support group y’all have enough people i’m SURE to pay for a therapy session
#asks#anon#this is just a mini rant but yeah agreed w your anon it’s disturbing as FAWK#also i’ve always been annoyed w batfam shippers too bc this was ESPECIALLY prevalent then#but w that it was a lot of incest too and it’s like . do y’all not see as adopted children as REAL family members???#people said it’s fine bc they aren’t related and it’s like#do you hear yourselves#do you think stepchildren aren’t still children of the adult???#it’s with a lot of x reader Shit too and it’s like . do you like the ‘taboo’#or is it more of like: you’re way younger than your fictional crush & you just wanna call him daddy#like you can do that without being related you Know that right#anyways . praying on every proshippers downfall#just rotted brain and rotted takes. bunch of dumb bitches saying ‘yesssssss’ to each other#anyways. shoutout logan & kit & my old batfam moots we would pray on proshippers downfall every other tuesday 😭#fighting in the trenches but SOMEBODY has to do it!#i implore everyone else to also get a backbone and don’t be scared of ‘ruffling feathers’#like hating proshippers is the majority of people . don’t be fooled by your little tumblr/twt circles#also yes their victim complexes goes BONKERS.#like logan said someone talking abt your niche fanfic online being weird as fuck isn’t censhorship 😭 stop acting oppressed & marginalized#*censorship#just SILLY
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learning to code!
When I was 9 years old, I learned enough html to code neopets pages, my own geocities websites, and I even made forums on my own sites so my friends could all roleplay together or rant together lol. And then? I forgot so much. I no longer no how to make a forum, or even a 'next page' button - so even the dream of just making a simple blog or webnovel site feels like a huge hurdle now. (9 year old me could probably figure it out in 2 hours).
So I'm relearning! I figured this would be a fun post to place resources I find for coding, since there's coding languages, and I figure maybe if you like running you're blog then you also might be interested in tools for making blogs!
First, for those of you who miss the old geocities and angelfire type of sites to make your own free site on: neocities.org
You can make free sites you can code yourself, the way 9 year old me did. A lot of people have made SUCH amazing sites, it's baffling my mind trying to figure out how they did, I definitely wish I could make an art portfolio site even a fourth as cool as some of the sites people have made on here.
And for those pressed for time, who aren't about to learn coding right now: wix.com is the place I recommend for building a site, it requires no coding skill and is fairly straightforward about adding pages or features by clicking buttons. I used it to make my art portfolio site, I am testing out using it for my webnovel - the alternative is Wordpress, but wix.com is letting me basically make a wordpress blog Inside my own site. It's very beginner friendly in terms of "how the fuck do I set up a 'sign up for updates' message and have my site actually email these people my novel updates?" and "I need a 4x20 grid of my art down the page, that lets people click the art to see it's information and make it bigger."
I did neocities.org's little html tutorial today, it's the part of html I DID remember (links, paragraphs, headers).
My next step is to go through htmldog.com's tutorials. They go from beginner, to intermediate, to CSS. Unlike many a coding tutorial I've seen, they explain what program on your computer you need to WRITE the code in and then how to save it and how to open it. (You'd think this isn't a big deal but I've been looking into how to learn Python for months and I can't find a tutorial explaining what fucking program to write my python in... notepad? do I need something else? I don't fucking know!! My dad finally gave me a printed textbook which supposedly tells you what to download to start... I learned C++ in college and for that you needed Visual Basic to code C++, so I figured I needed Something to Write the fucking python IN.)
#coding#rant#wooh my new CODING TAG#learning to code#i feel very. odd if im honest?#i genuinely knew how to build full fucking forum websites as a child including user sign ups#and i studied Computer Science Engineering in college so i did everything with C++ we were asked to and got As#and then i promptly BLOCKED IT OUT because i#HATED studying c++ SO fucking much. i hated my whole major. i did not like Engineering. i hated it. i was so mentally destroyed#by my college major that when i graduated i got a DIFFERENT job#and do NOTHING related to my major#i want to get into a more tech focused career eventually...since that is what my fucking degree is in#but i've been looking into something with less coding OR trying to teach myself#to like coding as long as its not fucking c++ again... i cant do it. too many bad memories#i think cybersecurity sounds like a fun job.#but u know me. im a person who likes knowing the BASICS#so i feel like i need to Relearn to code and learn python decently#before i try to study cybersecurity specific shit
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