#i found the most recent one in
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my favorite fanfic trope is when the author's note talks about how they have little control of what is written and the characters dictate the story
#fanfic#ao3#do i tag fandoms?#i found the most recent one in#orv#so i guess im tagging that#but seriously#its so funny to read authors who are just#“this was meant to be whump but its now fluff”#or even better#“i wasnt ready for smut but the characters decided they were”
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newly employed type of girl who is coincidentally freshly 30 as well which is unrelated but also not necessarily a helpful addition
#the employment is fully fresh (i started today) but the age is only somewhat recent#FINALYL found me some new animation gig#a fairly short one probly and not the most fun (just doin some cleanup ) but still and hopefully finding more after that ! ! !#coincidentally feelin a bit more energized lately i think ;; be these my new meds ? perhaps#lets hope they actually work well enough to give me the energy to do more stuff AFTEr work days now hey huh. see u around
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[Yes this is a reference to that one superman pic]
Transcript:
*sniff sniff* Is-is that a boy I smell?
*sniff sniff* Mmh yes, I smell it! Boy Smell!
I smell a boy!
Ah! what is a boy doing here?!
Oh my gosh. What am I gonna do? There's a boy here!
I'm freaking out so much!
Calm down, calm down! Calm down and take a nice deep breath.
*sniff sniff* Mmph it smells so good. I love boy smell so much!
It makes me feel so amazing~
I'm getting tingles all over from the delicious boy scent!
IT'S DRIVING ME BOY CRAZY.
Audio source
#gabriel ultrakill#ultrakill#im so fucking sorry#i found this clip posted separately to youtube a long time ago and only recently found the source#this stupid clip is one of the reasons i made this account....... i had to let the people know.#this is . perhaps. one of the most canon quotes. to ever be posted.#authors note: i do not actually enjoy boy smell please do not sniff in my inbox. im so scared.#queued post im in another country rn
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Why do you think the tides have slightly turned from "Elia deserves better than Rhaegar" to shipping her and Rhaegar together? Like what is the psychology behind these people because I've seen some of them like/reblog anti Rhaegar posts while also shipping Rhaegar x Elia at the same time.
hey anon! my thoughts are a bit messy, but i’ve done my best to explain them coherently :)
so, rhaegar was the best man anyone could have when elia was alive, and most people want the best for their favs. he was considered the most handsome, didn’t have a bad personality, and he was crown prince—meaning elia was almost queen, which is often seen as the greatest role a woman can have. the narrative also treats rhaegar as a beautiful, tragic, haunting figure, and elia actually had this very aesthetically pleasing man all to herself at one point! she was married to him, had children with him, and her life was so close to perfect! but rhaegar just had to go and ruin it. 😠
for many elia stans, if rhaegar hadn’t fallen in love with another woman (they want him to have been a completely different character), then everything would’ve been perfect, and elia would’ve had the best, most desirable life. however, that’s not what happened—elia met a very tragic end, and as a result, these stans feel double the bitterness. because of this bitterness, they blame rhaegar for everything (even though it’s not logical to do so), but he’s just too ‘perfect’ to let go of. so, for years these stans have made rhaegar revolve around elia, filling his tag with posts about her out of bitterness. so, i do believe that this obsession with rhaegar x elia has always been there, but i think it’s become a more favorable stance on the elia stan side of the fandom because of a mix of reasons.
plus, rhaegar is one of the few canon relationships we know elia had, since she’s not much of a character. because of this, and the fact that most people don’t like to stray too far from canon, most elia stans are forced to focus on rhaegar, which has created an echo chamber. basically, if a sentiment about elia and rhaegar’s relationship becomes popular, then the whole elia stan side of the fandom will likely regurgitate the sentiment. (also, this desire to stick close to canon is likely why the elia x arthur ship was so popular. while it’s a total crack ship, it had good aesthetics, and since elia and arthur at least knew each other, it allowed the stans to create their perfect fanfiction whilst sticking it to rhaegar. but remember, elia was actually married to rhaegar and had children with him, so while arthur is cool, rhaegar was always ‘top dog,’ meaning arthur would never be able to match up to rhaegar to most elia stans. also, the arthur x elia crack ship is likely her second most popular ship, which just shows how little elia stans have to work with, so they’re always forced to eventually return back to rhaegar for a lot of things.)
however, even if the elia x rhaegar ship gains more popularity, these stans will never stop hating rhaegar because he wasn’t ‘perfect’—and he wasn’t perfect because he didn’t love elia. plus, rhaegar loving another woman and supposedly kidnapping her is what began the war that led to elia’s tragic death. that’s bitterness times 1000. and while i don’t actually blame rhaegar for the war, i do think that this is how an elia stan sees it. i also don’t view rhaegar’s complex relationship with elia as a bad thing—it’s actually a very realistic take on an arranged marriage between two decent people. but most elia stans will never be able to get over the fact that they almost had everything, which is why many have it out for lyanna, as they consider her a thief who ruined their ‘perfection.’
tbh, that might be why so many elia stans are so obsessed with the idea that rhaegar only got with lyanna because of the prophecy—they don’t want to believe that rhaegar actually loved a different woman and not their perfect self insert elia. that’s a bit mean of me… but i don’t know what else one would call the ‘elia’ elia stans have created.
now that i’ve laid all those thoughts out, i’ll try to explain why the tides seem to be turning… i think it may have something to do with the ‘targaryens are all evil and bad’ sentiment losing popularity. i think this shift has occurred due to a mix of factors, such as years of fandom fights and fandom cycles leading to the targs being more liked now than before. it helps that canon doesn’t actually condemn the targs/favors them quite a bit, and the influx of new targ fans from HOTD has also contributed. this combination of reasons seems to have shifted the way the mainstream fandom discusses all the targaryen characters, including rhaegar. so, with this shift, it’s only natural that some elia stans/elia x rhaegar shippers—who’ve always been there—are using this opportunity to push their agenda. while these stans still hate rhaegar and see him as the bad guy, they just can’t let go of him. and as the mainstream fandom moves away from the anti targaryen sentiment, these smaller corners of the fandom, which tend to be echo chambers, are also affected, which has therefore led to a rise in rhaegar x elia shippers and the ‘shifting tide’ that you’ve also noticed.
#‘if only rhaegar did this’ is a very common sentiment amongst elia stans#most stans have always had the ‘if only’ mindset#‘if only elia survived’ easily leads to ‘if only rhaegar didn’t run off with his whore’ as the targs become less hated#it’s kinda a pipeline? rhaegar anti plus elia stan leads to rhaegar x elia shipper who still hates rhaegar#another reason that a lot of this happens is because elia and the martells plus dorne are the good ‘others’ a person can like#while the targaryens are the ‘bad others’ one can safely hate as they’re white & have a bit of demon symbolism + come from an ‘evil’ empire#the targs also ruled over everyone so a lot of fans like pushing all the blame onto them for all the problems#however the targs are cool and they’re hot af and being royalty is the best! so they’re the ‘bad others’ one can safely hate#but people still want their aesthetic and want their favs to have what the targs had. all the cool magic + the aesthetic + danys monikers#so people can convince themselves that it’s okay and logical and right to hate the targs but most ppl will still connect their favs to them#of course… things have been shifting in the fandom which i’m very happy about#and all of these sentiments are combined and compressed when it comes to rhaegar and elias relationship#so any big shift on how the fandom views the targs will always affect the way rhaegar and elias relationship is viewed#it just so happens that the targs aren’t the evil dragon nazis anymore so it’s kinda okay for elia stans to ship him with her#i’m not gonna go through my tags and make sure they make sense so i’m simply hoping for the best#anyways… i hope i didn’t digress too much. i just found this shift so interesting so i couldn’t help myself#asoiaf fandom critical#anti elia stans#rhaegar targaryen#anti rhaegar x elia#house targaryen#valyrianscrolls#pro rhaelya#lyanna stark#rhaegar x lyanna#anon ask#thanks anon this was a fun topic to cover#i recently found a really old post about both elia and lyanna and boy… it was quite discusting to read#elia stans kinda cycle from ‘elia deserved better x crack ship with shallow aesthetic’ back to elia x rhaegar while shitting on rhaelya#just know that rhaegar is always the bad guy to them! the sentiment on lyanna will go from hot to cold but rhaelya is always bad as well!
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One day I'll learn French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic and Urdu understand everything Faouzia, Pedro Pascal, Assad Zaman and IWTV characters speak/sing without subtitles or translation. Maybe even Bengali too. I mean, it's Assad's first language, but I don't think he's used it for a character? At least I haven't seen it yet, not even on interviews or real life stuff, but in case he starts using it publicly, I'd like to learn it as well. I'll become a polyglot through the power of being insane and hyperfixations. Trust.
#Arabic Urdu and/or Bengali should be a nightmare too because they're so different JDVEJDBEJDBEJ#But I'll try it one day TRUST#Also fun fact I found out recently that apparently Brazil is the country with most Arabs outside MENA?#I guess that explains why certain dishes are so popular here and the name of some places#specially here in my state I know many examples but had never put A and B together lol#Anyway shoutout to my multilingual babies I'll join the squad in the distant future <3
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Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?
Evidence below the cut!
can be pretty hyperactive, forgets things regularly (even important things, forgot he turned into a heartless in kh1), distractable, later on he seems to have some problems with emotional dysregulation. hes constantly called lazy by his friends but as soon as hes doing something he likes he has all the energy in the world, and also tends to dismiss his own intelligence despite actually being pretty smart, both of which are things that i think are decently common with undiagnosed adhd
#poll#noncanon adhd character#kingdom hearts#kh#sora#kh sora#sora kh#kingdom hearts sora#sora kingdom hearts#THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG TAG RAMBLE#ok first sora even getting posted is like a saga#originally i was going to post him myself but had trouble verbalizing evidence#so i asked my discord friends#and then i forgot to write down what they said and lost it#then he got submitted in the initial submissions right when the blog started#but the only evidence was 'look at him lol'#so he was unpostable#then he finally got submitted again during the recent spike with actual evidence!! so i can post him now#sora is so important to me#kingdom hearts is how i found playframe and that community is a huge part of my life now#and also i spent multiple years playing a weekly ttrpg campaign in a completely homebrew kh system#and it was the most fun ive ever had in my life and i am not exaggerating#there was only one other non dm player so three of us in all#and we had such a great dynamic we are such close friends now and the dm even looked up tips for dming for adhd players#and gave my character the ability impulsiveness which turned out to be one of our most powerful abilities#(i say our bc later we got the 'sisterly bond' ability which allowed us to use some of our coplayer's abilities and impulsiveness was one)#it let me take an action during someone else's turn at the cost of one less action on my next turn. basically taking it early#making her adhd one of our most powerful tools#and my character ended up very much a sora parallel despite not living in the time of the main kh games#so yeah. kh and adhd sora specifically. very important to me
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some kel sketches i'm working on
#hi#i wanted to sketch some scenes from one of my AUs so that's what these are#i still have a lot more to do. spent most of yesterday making pose refs for all of em#sorry all i've been posting lately is drawing stuff. that's just what i've been focused on ig#also apologies to anyone who has sent me an ask/tagged me in something/left a reply on one of my posts in the last like. 2 months#& i didn't reply. uh.#i'm not ignoring you i have just been feeling very. lie face down in the dirt. recently. so. yea.#i'll try to respond eventually. hopefully.#oh! i went to the thrift store yesterday. found pom poko & howl's moving castle!#very exciting adds to my collection.#n e way. i'm gonna go draw now. bye#artwip#rainyrambles
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#watching fandom drama play out when you're still mostly lurking in said fandom is a surreal experience#part of me is sort of relieved that i haven't been more active#would i have joined that server? would i have been one of the people they bullied?#i'm a mess of contradictions: i crave community but am terrible at all the things you need to cultivate it#i'm anxious and awkward and overthink every little interaction#but i've lucked out and found some really stellar fandom besties over the years who make me feel loved and accepted anyway#it takes a certain kind of bravery to put yourself out there online. a certain level of trust.#so for a group of people to actively choose to betray that trust in order to. what?#gain some imaginary amount of social clout? promote a fic? feed their own insecurities?#it's honestly beyond comprehension for me#i'm a relative nobody in this fandom so i'm not sure how much weight this will carry#but for what it's worth#having lurked here since last september#the broader community feels like it's a safe space. a space built on acceptance and love.#i've recently chatted with a few different people who have been nothing but lovely and i'm hoping that those conversations continue#and even though putting myself out there on discord feels like a nigh impossible ask atm#(did anyone else not know that secret channels were a thing? what in the supervillain hell!)#i'm gonna try my damnedest#fandom is bigger than one person. correction: one bully. bc that's what she is. a bully.#and i'm heartened that most everyone has rallied to show her and her cohort the door#to anyone affected by her bullshit. i love you and i'm so sorry and i hope you find a true safe space#ANYWAY#pass the what a year huh/lemon it's january meme#good omens
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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Any ships you don’t like in the batfam fandom that is popular?
OOOH this is such a fun question because I have quite a few
StephCass - i'll be honest this is one of those ships where the fandom ruined it for me. because 2000s StephCass is an elite dynamic, they care for each other so deeply. but the fandom has been intent on defanging and purifying this ship. i don't know *why* but StephCass seems most popular with the anti-Batcest crowd who get very mad if you compare it to ships they deem Batcest. i have an entire meta commentary on this in my drafts I'll likely never post discussing why the only reason StephCass gets the pass for not being Batcest ties directly into misogyny (because the women of the Batfam need to exist as love interests first, not family members so Steph was never going to truly get to exist as a "full" Batfam member so long as she could remain a viable love interest for Tim, and the same can apply to Babs, Helena, and even Cass in some cases) and that just sours me to it. like if i want yuri in Batfam i think there are far more interesting/fucked up ships for Steph like Babs/Steph or Helena/Steph. and when it comes to what i'd actually like to see in canon, i don't want to see Steph relegated to love interest of a Batfamily member, even if it's queer. let her date and exist outside of Gotham the way every other Batfam member gets to, DC *please*.
Bruce/Selina - i can't fully articulate why this ship isn't my thing, it just isn't. i think i just can't conceivably agree with Selina letting go of so many of her fundamental morals and beliefs for the sake of a man, even one she loves such as Bruce. ironically, i think that's one of the few things Gotham War got right about these two. the only canon love interest i like for Bruce is Zatanna and i mourn we'll never get much of that.
JayRoy - i will admit when i was newer to DC the first comics i picked up for Jason were all New-52 and i shipped this. but now that i'm a pre-Flashpoint truther and i've actually read well-written Roy Harper comics, i only see the flaws in this ship. ngl if ppl were actually fun and interesting with it, playing with the idea of Roy knowing Jason as Robin and still seeing him as just Dick's little brother who's gone a little mental, it *could* be fun. but this Red Hood & the Outlaws (2011) and Red Hood/Arsenal (2015) dynamic *butchers* the fuck out of Roy and strips him of everything interesting. and even as a Batfamily stan, my number one pet peeve is when other DC characters get *butchered* in a Batfamily character's book just for the sake of propping up the Bat as some kind of savior. free Roy Harper from this mans.
Bruce/Oliver - we could be here all day if i listed all the Bruce ships i don't like, but i figure this one has to be included. because oh my god either the people shipping this *really* don't understand Oliver Queen or they just hate his ass because why would you subject Oliver to this man. he can't *stand* Bruce. i really hate the popular BruOliie shipping dynamic of like "oh they were boarding school besties" because if you want that, you *should* like Bruce/Zatanna, not these two. Oliver just always gets butchered in these fics and i won't stand for it.
Tim/Bernard - the ESSAYS i could write on this ship and why i dislike it. the fucking *fear* DC (and most popular media tbh) has with depicting queer relationships as anything other than totally perfect and cute for fear of accusations of homophobia has stripped this ship of *any* real grit. Bernard is a non-character in Tim Drake: Robin, he exists to cheer Tim on and prop him up and just be The Boyfriend. we occasionally get glimpses of an interesting character with really interesting trauma and nothing is *done* with it bc at the end of the day, Tim and Bernard must be perfect and cute. what's fun about Tim is he is the *worst* boyfriend alive. that boy is *ass* at dating. all of his relationships are rich with conflict and yet the moment he dates a guy suddenly all of his flaws vanish? i hate it. i mourn what this could've been if we kept messy Tim Drake and had a Bernard who was actually informed by his trauma. DC please let gays be messy again. also of all of Tim's 90s/00s friends to bring back as a love interest, Bernard Dowd was just a *bizarre* fucking choice. Sebastian Ives was *right* there come on now.
Any Crossover Ship - look if crossovers are your cup of tea i'm happy for you but oh my god if i have to see that little green ghost boy or that ladybug girl in the Batfam one more time i think i may explode. i have a lot of thoughts on *why* i think specifically Danny Phantom and Miraculous Ladybug get crossed over as often as they do with the Batfam, but i don't think anyone wants to year that. my only exception to this is Jason/Bucky Barnes, but it *has* to be comics!Bucky. like. Judd Winick's Jason and Ed Brubaker's Bucky would hatefuck and that i wish to see it. any other crossover ship (especially the Peter Parker ones that seem to be rising in popularity) just do *not* do it for me.
honestly besides that i don't think i dislike many ships. (aside from being super opinionated on Bruce ships, but that's mostly bc ppl will use him to butcher the character they ship him with) there are some ships i'm neutral to because i simply do not know enough to have an opinion (like Dick/Wally). i guess the only Batcest ship i'm not particular to is Bruce/Damian, but I wouldn't say that one is popular nor would i say i dislike it, just that it's not my cup of tea. most Batcest ships click for me in one way or another because i like their Weird dnyamics. i guess i could also say i dislike most ships that have come out of Young Justice (tv) because. oh my *god* why were those group of characters put together on a team. it's baffling. but even then it's not disliking those ships, it's moreso disliking that show's depiction of those characters so. everything is really dependant on the canon context for me!
#necrotic answerings#batcest#sorry sorry to the shippers who are going to have this post caught in their filters#i am specifically not tagging the ships for that reason but sometimes tumblr will put it in the tagged content anyway#so sorry about that one#anyway i'm so serious i have Big feelings about the steph and cass thing.#i will probably never post it because oh the fights it'll start. but i've got feelings.#also my jason and roy feelings are pretty recent won't lie#like i used to be neutral on it. even have it in recent (within past few years recent at least) fanfic i've written#but the straw that broke the camels back was -as usual- wayne family adventures.#a recent episode had roy waxing poetic about how jason “saved” and “believed” in the outlaws as their leader#and i was like nope. i'm done. i can't. unsubscribing from this ship. goodbye.#red hood/arsenal is a guilty pleasure comic i won't lie to you (mostly for the duela dent content)#but i can't do it anymore. i can't witness roy being fucking BUTCHERED like that. i am done i've left the building.#writing this i found i actually don't dislike as many ships as i thought i did. bc i love to be a hater#but rlly most batfam ships i'm agreeable to#it needs the correct context and characterization but I'll be down for the cause if i think it could be fun#only the ones i mentioned are the ones i rlly dislike enough to be grumpy about#also bruce and constantine. i also dislike and am grumpy about.#but i do think that *could* work. y'all just need to read a hellblazer comic#bc you guys (the general you) do not understand constantine stop making him silly magic mcguffin guy. free him.#tumblr ate some of my tags on my last post so I'll stop rambling for fear of being silenced by tumblr gods again.
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I think everyone wants to own a complete works of Shakespeare and I want to get everyone a complete works of Shakespeare that is right for them
#as long as it's not one of those dime a dozen copies w squished text and no notes 🖤#b&n book annex don't interact. canterbury classics don't interact#i have a friend that i went antiquing w recently who got a decameron illustrated by rockwell kent#and their birthday is coming up and my toxic trait is that i wanna get them the complete works illustrated by rockwell kent#even though im not sure that's the most readable copy for a 21st century reader to begin with#i havent actually read a play in one of those admittedly. i know they have the cambridge notes in the back of the book#but that's a lot more work than having it at the bottom or side of the page#idk if they'd be down for that much flipping tbh. i know flipping isn't my favorite#especially in a big book#and idk if the cambridge notes would even be that approachable for them? idk the annotation style#tales from diana#ive been trying to get a taste for more editions of shakespeare lately and mostly that's just been within copies of individual plays#and i feel like this is a journey i kinda started too late#like i read titus andronicus in a folger edition which probably wouldve been gamechanging to me in 2018#but as a reader w years more experience it was just kinda giving me more than i needed. i found it excessive#versus when i was a beginner i often felt lost even w the notes in my riverside shakespeare#i felt like it was still above my reading level (and it was) especially when it would reference things i was barely familiar with#whereas in 2024 it's like my riverside is my baby. and but for its large unwieldiness and perilous condition. i could read from it forever#i read not a shakespeare play in an arden edition recently but philaster by beaumont and fletcher. same editing team though#i thought the notes were sometimes a little excessive but they certainly weren't kinda basic like folger's#i thought at times maybe they could split it up w some of those historic or cultural commentary sort of notes#like those were what i would rather flip to the back to read later. as opposed to taking up like half the page#oxford english classics kinda does that too but w their longer annotations i think flipping to the back makes sense#bc arden somewhat is flooding the white space abd straining my eyes. even though other than format it's very similar editing#i like my rsc complete works and what ive read of the individual plays a lot but there's just one thing about the complete works#that i have a qualm with. i respect that they have a single column for the text#as opposed to two-column... i understand for some it scans better and helps w comprehension#i wish the notes on the bottom were in two columns though. bc the way they run on w such a wide margin#i genuinely lose my place a lot. in the small text. kinda hate that part of the reading experience#and when there's lines of prose it can also be harder to scan
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Fic Writing Review 2024 🌈
i did this last year and tagged a bunch of people, and this year i'm going to continue the tradition but not tag anyone, i think, because i'm very late. but if you're reading this and you've posted anything to ao3 in 2024, consider yourself tagged, and please tag me if you still do it! i'd love to see other people's lists!
for me this was, uh. probably my least productive year since i really truly made the switch to english fic (2018), and it's definitely no 2019, when i posted 56 fics. but not every year can be a 2019 (or should be one, frankly), so that's okay.
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Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚
words posted: 18,404
fics posted: 12! of which 2 were technically late crossposts from starsky & hutch fandom events in 2023 (though i also wrote a 2024 s&h advent calendar fic that is yet to make it to ao3, so if we really do the math we maybe get to 11 finished works. but i'll stick with those 12 posted within the timeframe for the rest of this, for convenience's sake, and because 1 fic per month makes a nice round average.)
first fic: With every guitar string scar on my hand, a bad buddy pat/pran fic, on jan 24th
last fic: By Heart (or: Memorization hacks for the smitten idol), a thame-po heart that skips a beat fic (which is, well. thame/po), on dec 28th
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Ships and Fandoms ⚓
according to ao3:
Starsky & Hutch (5)
แค่เพื่อนครับเพื่อน | Bad Buddy: the Series (TV) (3)
Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (2)
เธม-โป้ Heart That Skips a Beat | Thame-Po: Heart That Skips a Beat (TV) (1)
บ้านหลอน ON SALE | Peaceful Property (TV) (1)
the most shocking thing here by far is that there are only two (2) h50 fics on this list. it doesn't even feel that way! i still spent a really good chunk of time thinking about h50 fic, it just didn't amount to much in terms of actual finished products. starsky and hutch is still going strong (relatively speaking, at least), and last year i noted that i wished i'd gotten any of my bad buddy projects posted, which clearly sort of worked out for me this year, though there's still More. the other two are two thai series that took me by surprise, which, hey, fingers crossed that will keep happening, because i really need to start writing some fic again about things i'm actually currently watching. it's good for the soul i think.
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Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆
Ain’t no other that can sweep you up like a robber [h50]
Meet me at the edge (I’ve already fallen) [h50]
Sun down and I’m feeling lifted (Downtown, cherry lipstick) [bad buddy]
With every guitar string scar on my hand [bad buddy]
By Heart (or: Memorization hacks for the smitten idol) [thamepo]
h50 is easily outpacing everything else, with both of those way at the top here. what i like is that the ink/pa bad buddy fic extremely comfortably landed the third spot, with almost double the kudos of the pat/pran fic that's in fourth place. the world craves femslash i guess! along with a host of other, more likely factors (it probably has a more catchy description, it's tagged for both ships because patpran still show up, possibly more people in 2024 were looking for fic for characters played by milk and love because they're still actively working together, etc), but wouldn't it be nice.
the thamepo fic (which is thame/po. it never stops feeling a little goofy to explain the ship when it's in the title, but you could of course be writing other things anyway) taking the fifth most kudo'd spot came as a bit of a shock, but honestly, i've written for so many Smaller Fandoms in 2024 that it's not actually very odd. it's my most recent posted thing but this show is currently airing and seems to be getting a decent amount of traction, so it has the benefit of being current.
my kudos total for all 12 fics i posted this year is as of writing this at 1,235, and there's a stark contrast in this being about ~700 kudos below 2023's How to build a triangle (ted lasso, jamie/roy/keeley) all by itself. i did NOT hop into any ted-lasso-at-its-peak sized fandoms in 2024.
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Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖
well! the upside of writing 12 fics is that i can put, like, over two-fifths of them on this list. in no particular order:
By Heart (or: Memorization hacks for the smitten idol) - i mean, i think today's episode of, uh, Thame-Po: Heart That Skips A Beat may have pushed this fic a little farther from following canon than it originally seemed (apparently thame was not aware of his own lurking romantic feelings for po, at all. oh my god) but i had a fun time writing this! it's short and not very specific and i enjoy the repeated number thing. (this kid was really rushing across the city to ask to memorize the number of a guy he apparently assumed he was just trying to be friends with. i do love him very dearly already, gosh.)
The name of the game - this is starsky/hutch and i think it's sort of sneaking in here! i was just happy this was a Complete Fic when i posted it (it had all the necessary parts, so i was sending it off), but then people were SO sweet about it in SUCH overwhelming numbers that it's probably a huge part of how i fell back in love with it myself. that's always a little magical to me. also: the sisyphus line about starsky may be my favorite thing i posted in 2024.
Rest your heart easy - also starsky/hutch! but less of a surprise. this was written for the ShareCon 2023 zine, and i don't reread it very often, but when i do it's like, yeah! i'm glad it was this fic of mine that got to participate in the zine. it's nice, it's warm, it flows.
Sun down and I’m feeling lifted (Downtown, cherry lipstick) - the bad buddy ink/pa fic! this sounds so silly when saying it about a thing that took over my life for a few months and still makes me drop to the floor when i see one (1) scene for whatever reason and am immediately attacked by the memory of how much i love it, but i'm REALLY still figuring out how to write these characters. they are my best friends and i have no idea who they are, apparently. but i like the attempt i made here, and i think i might like it more than both of the finished pat/pran focused fics, though that could be purely because i reread those far too many times in trying to Get It Right before hitting post. also. i like ink and pa! and they deserved to kiss. (and on that note, it's 2025, why is there still such a strict dividing line between GL and BL in nearly all cases? let the girls and boys hang out together, please. i won't pretend that if bad buddy could do it then everyone can (those are entirely unrealistic standards in most cases), but they could at least try.)
Home goes where the heart is - this is a peaceful property fic that is only vaguely peach/home shippy. (peaceful property being, on all levels that count, not BL.) in hindsight, i think i should have gone with one of my alternate title options and called it Pang pang! It’s a Home invasion! (because one of the characters is called pangpang and another one is called home), but hey, this slightly more serious title is fun too. i'm not even sure this is necessarily one of the best things i wrote in 2024, but it just makes me happy. there's a second peaceful property fic of which i wrote most on the night that the finale aired, but then it got longer than intended and it ended up stuck in limbo. but i still have hopes that i may give it an ending one day, because these characters in their weird kind loud ghost & cooking show that made me cry several times really deserve it (and i think there are some funny lines in the wip, and if there's one thing that makes me want to see a fic finished, it's a joke that the world should be able to read).
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Fandom Fic Events 🤝
it's not on ao3 yet (i may do that soon-ish), but my fic for this year’s Starsky & Hutch Advent Calendar, The Simple Things! if starsky and hutch is your jam, don't forget to look at the rest of the calendar too!
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Projects for 2025 👀
hmm, well. hmm.
2024 was an incredibly chaotic year for me, writing-wise. i'm not entirely sure what i was doing or where i was going, and i wasn't extremely motivatived to figure it out, because i was doing other things. (like figuring out how to write thai letters, for example.) i think if i want to write more, then part of my 2025 has to be to read more fiction, because it's truly just, like. words need to go in for words to come out.
i REALLY want to get a flip-flop state of mind finished up for real this year. i want to get better at/allow myself more slack to just type up something short and quick and probably not too deep, rather than feeling some need to turn every single wip idea into a months or years long project. those are great too! i love chipping away at a fic for an eternity, and the beauty of hobby writing is that there's no reason not to still do that, too! but i also need to keep things moving a little bit so i don't get stuck in a loop of looking at the same words which don't inspire me anymore and not adding anything, which also doesn't get me anything new to jump off from tomorrow.
so. write some h50 fic. write some starsky & hutch fic. write a bunch of thai series fic (and allow myself to play some jazz when it comes to character voices, because i still keep getting stuck on that too often. it's fine if they're My Version, that's what fic is). maybe something else, if i feel like it? my project for 2025 is Fun, and it would be really neat if i could get 13 fics (or more) posted (to get that yearly number moving back up again), but if not, that's also fine.
honestly maybe what i need in terms of fandoms is something in thai which is also queerbait (or queercoding), because that's where i'm at currently + what historically is best at getting me to write. i've heard a lot about high school frenemy, and i only keep dodging it because it has high school in the title, but hey, who knows! maybe watching two men who are 26 and 27 play high schoolers in some sort of feud who are obviously in love but don't kiss about it will fix me.
#*#tag stuff#i started this on january 1st and i'm now hitting post on january 11th#and the good news is! that i definitely wrote some fic for the heart killers wednesday evening after the most recent episode#so 'more fic for thai series' is starting off strong. maybe. hopefully. depending on if i get this done and posted#i also found some s&h and h50 fic that really truly just needs some gentle dusting off and maybe one more paragraph. we'll see!#also. god. i'm so good at not even mentioning this but if i don't do Something with century of love soon i may just explode#(2024 thai series. finished (a while before i started it). but NOT finished eating my brain)
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Recent-ish things ~
#photo diary#1 - love this image of Noodle.. such a weird angle that makes his head look entirely round like a puff ball or something#2 - a more recent (still from months ago) collection of my pressed flowers and 4 leaf clovers I found.#3. Being one of the only people in 2024 still going 'hee heee I've just bought a new wii game!' but.. I have. >:3#It's kind of like Wii Sports Resort but is like.. open world? so your character can actually walk around and stuff. REALLY makes me#wish I had the type of set up where I could record video from my wii and stuff like some gaming youtubers have. I think it'd be a really#fun game to play on video and to DOCUMENT it!!! I keep wishing I could screenshot my little guy walking around but I caaant..#I've literally just been taking out my phyiscal camera and photographing the screen which always looks bad.. augh..#4. Something in the froxen food aisle called 'Wellington Bites' a play on beef wellington. suprisingly good actually. but I guess anything#with like beef and mushrooms usually is. But it seems like.. oddly decent for frozen food stuff.#5 - boye looking Round again.. 6 - updated score in the wii fit minigame again. This time less than 4 seconds#for each round? which may be a record for me? 7 & 8 - fat bird in the snow. fatt bird in the SNOW!! Hoping that climate change and H5N1#don't eventually remove all trace of birds and winter weather from my life in the future... -_-#9 - ..ough... a few paltry writings.. Except for the one day of 4000 words. But for the most part I have been making soo litte progress#because of the holidays and drs appointments and such a rush of all these other mind distracting things.. Or if I'm not doing something the#I'm feeling tired from having PREVIOUSLY done something so I waste the whole day being sleepy and headachey... GRR...#the funny thing is that like many many years ago I wrote a note on my wall saying 'FOCUS! write 2hr a day or more or youre going to finish#your game in 2025!!!' - which back in 2018 when I wrote it was like unimaginably far into the future but now... ahem.. hem... I guess that#is quite literally the case LOL. To my credit I did parctically abandon it entirely since late 2019 and JUST now picked up really#trying to focus on it in mid 2024 but still... My '''ridiculous'' projection being actually likely the correct one..#10 - I just thoughtit would be silly to put a bunch of keychain things on the wii remote. imagine playing this way. getting constantly#jabbed in the hand by plastic bits. and the jingling clinking noise it would be always making lol#11 - sky.. huzzah for the sky as always. Clouds my beloved#Gr.. I just really want to wriiite. My new years hopes are to finish my game and to get stuff set up to start selling sculptures again.#AND then maybe do more game videos lol... I miss playing games. I dont think I've posted on that youtube for like 5 months#I've just had so much appointments and Things and Stuff and focusing so much on other projects. But that is the thing that really#feels relaxing and fun for me. so like.. 1. finish game 2. sell sculpture/make sculpture 3. play games 4. find more friends#and social connection and networking or whatever the hell people have to do to be successful 5. do more costume/outfits.#<( saying this all on a day where I did none of those things LOL... I got erm.. maybe 400 words done today.. >:'3c )#6 is MOVE away from the evil west coast (hot.. fires in summer. etc) but like. not happening unless I suddenly become a millionaire so. -_-
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me: I should go to bed soon
also me: *stays up til 4am playing a mystery adventure game*
#original#gamer octopus#I recently found an indie group with a large collection of mystery point and click adventure puzzle games#and have been thoroughly enjoying them#playing them at most opportunities#it's called ae mysteries if you are interested#singular app to access MANY puzzle games#I also recently installed another similar app called Unsolved#not sure how much I like it yet. currently in the middle of my first mystery#which is also kinda spooky#interestingly enough Unsolved was advertised to me while I was playing AE Mysteries#(note: yes there are ads in AE but it's a very reasonable number. one at the start of each chapter plus optional ones for hints and such)
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I have a enemies to lovers-lovers to enemies toxic yuri story with mattel i guess
#ever after high#eah#mattel#seriously i prefer the mattel winx and disney princess dolls#i hate on mattel but there is always worse things#they are bad with quality but they serve face i guess#im not okay thinking about eah again ofc..#i want to collect every eah thing#and i just found about kuu kuu harajuku and now im in love ugh i love dolls#enchantimals still exists and guys tbh i think i need to have its media because its what we still have from eah#like its an spin off and even tho i like mh g3 its like the monster high less related to eah yknow#so enchantimals is literally what was left#there were some things that could be released but werent#like the duchess lets down her hair book#and an apple playset called back to school#as much as i hate the most recent eah dolls this was an okay one#i was looking over the dolls and now i find some of them really pretty lmao#the line book party is all good but the kitty doll is 10/10 seriously i love her#and cedar birthday ball is actually so pretty? i used to hate birthday ball and hated their colorful hairs but i love her now#and these lines mentioned are still with the old facemolds and are fully articulated#i just found out about the eah merch site so im unwell#sorry i have lots of thoughts mattel is probably responsible for all my problems and blessings#the day it was oficially confirmed that eah was cancellef was 08/28/18#the same day the book duchess lets down her hair was supposed to be released#we lost so much dude
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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