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gguk-n · 5 months ago

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Chapter 4- Heartbreak and Understanding

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen X Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Y/N decides to forgive Max. Max wins his home race. She meets Max's girlfriend who doesn't seem to like her very much. Did I tell you Y/N watched Max win his home race?

{Reader's POV}

Falling in love with your friend is a bad idea. Falling in love with your internet friend who has a girlfriend was an even worse idea. Falling in love with Max Emilian Verstappen was the worst idea. He's all over my screen after I searched him on every social media ever. I cannot escape him when I'm trying to get over him.

It's been a few months since the either of us have spoken to each other. After I asked for time, Max respected my wishes. After our call, I received a message from him saying that he would always be there for me no matter what and that he would like to clear up the misunderstanding one day. I knew I would talk to him, however I hoped that it would be when I was over him. Doesn't look like that's about to happen any time soon since this man is everywhere and anywhere I look.

Summer break was here, so I was having a girl's night with my friend Riley when I decided to ask for her opinion on this whole debacle. "Sooooo, Riley" I began. "You're about to unload some shit you did aren't you. Who fucked you up?" she interrupted me. "What?" I questioned. "I've known you for 6 years, I know you too well. Tell me who do I have to beat up." she said. I began to laugh. "No one" I said in between laughter. I wiped a tear away from the side of my eye, "I haven't laughed like this in a while." I muttered. "Go on, love" Riley prodded. "Yeah, so I have this internet friend, we've been friends since 2013. He's nice, kind, funny, handsome, blonde, blue eyes" I was talking when she cut me off; "exactly your type" I nodded along. "It's all nice and all. I didn't know what he did for a living. I recently found out that he is famous" I mumbled. She looked at me shocked. "Who?" was all she said. "Max Verstappen, Formula One driver for Redbull Racing" I said. "Damn, I mean he's like cute for a white boy. I think he's cool and shit for driving in fast cars, I appreciate him as an athlete for sure; as my bestie's potential love interest, questionable at best" she replied. "why, I mean I didn't say I was interested in him?" I asked defensively. "Bro, he is literally exactly your type, I've seen the men you date or hook up with, on the other hand, he has a girlfriend" she pointed out. "Ok, I know and you scare me sometimes" I lamented. "so, my real question is, I didn't know he was Max Verstappen. I didn't know he had a girlfriend. I was hurt when I found out and stopped talking to him, had a confrontation and then I said I need time before I am ready" I explained. "Understandable" she nodded along. "what do I do?" I asked. "what do you want to do?" she questioned back.

I love Max and I would like to be a part of his life even if it meant only as friends because I cherished the time we've had together. Also, I feel like I didn't let him explain himself the last time we spoke. I want to mend our ways. I would love to have him forever, even if only as a friend. "I want to still have him in my life even if it meant only as friends." I said cautiously. "Then there's your answer." she pointed out. "Talk to him, clear stuff out. If his explanation seems legit then continue to be friends." she suggested. "great idea. Thanks Riley" I said. "Don't mention it. Now can we un-pause the movie." she asked. "yes" I said while un-pausing the movie.

A few days after the heart to heart with Riley I texted Max. I knew he was supposed to be back next weekend for the race and was currently at home. I kind of confirmed that by watching his streams where he did SimRacing. I don't think I'll be telling this to anyone, honestly. He was on stream when my text went through, I saw him check his phone and ask to leave the stream early since he needed to do something; that something being to call me because within seconds my phone was ringing with the familiar name cropping up on the screen. I answered the call, Max staring back at me, a tentative smile played on his lips. He waited for me to start talking.

Y/N- Hi Max. Max- Hi Y/N, how've been? Y/N- Good, you? Max- Yeah, OK. Y/N- I'm sorry for lashing out the last time we spoke. Max- No, no, don't be sorry. I was at fault for hiding such important information from you. Can you ever forgive me? Y/N- Depends... Max- What do I have to do to get you to forgive me? Y/N- Why didn't you tell me? About everything; your girlfriend, your career? Max- I...When we started talking I just enjoyed being a regular teenager, where we talked about school and random stuff. I got to be Max the teenager not Max the youngest Formula One driver. I enjoyed the disconnect I got with you. I got to be myself and forget about racing for a minute. You made me feel like a regular guy. Y/N- I wish you had told me because when I found out about your championships, I felt like I missed out on celebrating such a huge and momentous occasion with you. That hurt. Max- I'm sorry for that. I didn't know how to tell you since it had been so long, I did want to tell you, I really did want to share my happiness with you; I just didn't know how to. You made me feel normal. Y/N- I'm glad I could be of some help. Max- You were of so much help. You calmed me down before many races and reading your messages or hearing your voice was like a comfortable constant. Thank you. Y/N- Fine, I get it some times famous people want to live regular lives, what about your girlfriend. Why didn't you tell me about her? Max- I....am not really sure. We started dating 2 years ago, it just happened. We'd known each other for a while. It just happened. Y/n- Hmmm....doesn't she mind that we talk so much? Max- No, she's chill about it. (He laughed awkwardly) Y/N- I hope we won't have anymore lies between us Max- No not at all. I cherish our friendship too much Y/N- me too. Max- This weekend is my home race. Y/N- I saw Max- You did? Y/N- I might like watching my best friend win... Max- That's great, then you can watch me win in person next week. Y/N- Sweetheart, Maxie, You might be a millionaire; your friend here is broke as fuck. I can't fly out so suddenly. Max- You don't have to worry about anything. I'll get you the tickets and stuff. Just say yes. Y/N- I mean, I would love to meet you in person.... Max- Then, that's final. You're coming to the Dutch GP next week. I'll pick you up at the airport. You should come early and leave a little later. I'll show you around. Max looked and sounded excited. Y/N- Ok (I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement)

As soon as I ended the call, I got plane tickets to the race. He said he would come pick me. I couldn't wait to meet him. I'm sure nothing bad will happen; from meeting my long time friend.

I thought maybe I should show Max some support and buy his merchandise or something; no one told me it was this expensive. I decided against it. The race was on the 27th; I was flying in on the 24th. The flight there was nerve wrecking. I've seen him although not in person. I got a text from Max telling me to go to a certain gate in the parking area where he would be waiting. I found him rather quickly; he had his hand sticking out of the car. I tapped on the window with a big smile plastered on my face. "Hi Maxie!" I greeted. "hey, schat. Get in, I don't wanna get caught." he said pointed at the door. "By who?" I quizzed. "I feel like you forgot what I did for a living and where we were." he chided. I laughed before walking to the opposite side and getting in.

Initially, things felt a little awkward but the atmosphere turned friendly quite quickly. We reached the hotel I would be staying at; Max had planned the entire week of my stay out. I was going to just rest today while Max attended to media stuff and then we would have dinner together tonight. He would take me along to the paddock for all the 3 days. And after the race weekend, he would take me to all his favourite place; my personal tour guide.

I crashed for the day after a shower and having food. I only woke up when Max called me to let him in. It took me a while to realise where I was. I apologised for not being ready to leave when that was the plan initially. Max didn't mind and offered to wait till I got dressed. He told me we were going somewhere fancy so I pulled out my black satin dress I kept for special occasions. This was a special occasion, right, I thought. Max was a lot more patient compared to all my exes who would start getting antsy; he even helped me decide on the jewellery and shoes I should pair with my outfit. Why are all the good men taken, God?

We had authentic dutch food in a fancy restaurant as a three course meal. I loved the Apple tart. I almost moaned as I placed a spoon of it in my mouth; "Max, this is so good" I groaned. Max smiled, "I'm happy you like it." "I love desserts Max, but this is almost up there with my favourites" I said with a mouth full of apple tart. "What are your favourites?" Max asked. "I love tres leches, tiramisu and cheese cakes" I mumbled. After finishing the food, we decided to walk around for a while; it was kind of dark and Max would probably not get recognised was the thought. "Thanks for the food. Maximilian" I said. He just nodded along. "It's an atrocious name Maxie, no offence but Emilian as a middle name; who ever named you, hates you" I said shaking my head. Max laughed it off; "I would've thought you were fucking with me, if you told me that was your middle name" I said patting his back. "I'm sorry" he said. "Don't apologise for your name, you had no control" I said now facing him. "No, I mean I'm sorry for lying and hiding things from you. I never felt good doing that. I wish I had told you sooner. I wish you had found out about it through me." he said regretfully. "It's ok Max, the past is in the past. I hope we'll be more honest in this friendship" I said enveloping him in a hug for the first time. His head found it's way in the crook of my neck, a woody scent wafted into my nose while Max clutched on to my waist. I felt warm tears drip down my shoulder. "Max, are you crying?" I asked, trying to pull away. He tightened the grip on my waist and buried his head deeper, if it was possible, "No" he replied, making my skin on the shoulder vibrate. "It's ok Maxie, let it all out. I'm always there for you." I said patting his back to console him. "I thought I lost you, I thought you'd never speak to me again, I thought you hated me." he muttered softly. "I could never hate you, I might've been angry but I knew I didn't want to lose you either. You are a very important friend to me" I said. "I don't ever want to lose you" he said, finally deciding to look at me with his tear streaked face. I wiped away the tears. "Me neither, now let's go, you have a race tomorrow" I said pulling him along.

The conversation kept me up at night. It was giving me mixed signals. I didn't know what to make of it. He has a girlfriend, granted I haven't met her yet. There was desperation in Max's eyes and his words. They felt heavy and part of me wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with this. Was I thinking too much into it? What was Max's deal?

I got to meet Max's girlfriend the next day. She didn't seem too pleased with me; I mean I don't think anyone could welcome a random women your boyfriend said was his childhood friend suddenly. I didn't hold it against her. I got to meet Max's teammate and the other drivers. All of them were very kind and welcoming. I got to learn a lot about Max while I waited for him to get done with interviews after free practise. I was talking to Lando while he waited his turn after Max. Max returned which made Lando leave. "You didn't tell me you had such cute friends. I would've asked you you set me up with him sooner" I said while we walked back to Redbull. "No" he stated. "You're patronising with the enemy" he continued. "Your enemy, my future boyfriend." I joked. "He's not your type" Max interjected. "And you know what my type is?" I asked. Before he could say anything, his girlfriend whisked him away.

I ended up talking to Checo who was surprised to know me and Max had been friends for so long. Almost everyone in the garage was shocked about our friendship. Checo told me it's because Max had never told them about me. Max and his girlfriend came back who looked visibly annoyed; I tried asking Max what was up but he brushed me off. I spent the rest of the day being dragged around by Max who couldn't stop talking about anything and everything.

I spent Saturday with a lot of the mechanics and engineers who had so much good stuff to talk about. It would probably help me in editing that author. She was almost done with the book; but a few more additions won't hurt. Max qualified pole, he was so excited. He dropped me back at my room when I told him he should rest up before the race when he offered to watch a movie with me. He couldn't care less, he promised to win the race for me even with a little sleep. We ended up watching some movie. His girlfriend's annoyed face was etched in my brain through out the movie, so I decided to ask him about that. "Max, I'm sure your girlfriend minds you spending so much time with me" I suggested. "No, I told her I'm meeting you for the first time. She shouldn't care." he said. "I'm sure she does, she doesn't look very happy to me" I commented. "Don't think about it too much" Max said handing me the can of cold drink. I wasn't very satisfied, but there's only so much I could do.

The race was crazy, it got my heart beating really fast watching all of them zip past at such a high speed. Max did so well, he finished the race in P1 just like how he started it. Everyone rejoiced and headed to where Max was. GP took me with him. Max got out of the car and took his helmet off, his eyes were scanning the area. As soon as our eyes met he strode towards me. His girlfriend was a couple of steps away, before I knew it Max hugged me. "I won, just like I told you I would" he whispered. "Congratulations Max." I said while turning my head towards his girlfriend who looked visibly annoyed and quickly turned on her heels and left. "You shouldn't have done that" I told Max while pulling away. "Done what?" he questioned. "You should've gone to your girlfriend after winning your home race." I said. "She's here for so many of my races, you're not" he stated. I face palmed myself, "Doesn't matter Max, she probably hates me" I said. Max just shrugged his shoulders and went to get weighed.

After all the formality and interviews Max was on the top step of the podium. I was very proud of him and you could see it on my face. I couldn't find his girlfriend anywhere around. Max got down from the podium drenched in champagne trying to hug me while I pushed him away. "No, you'll get me all sticky" I shouted while running away from him.

[ Winning his home race felt special to Max because Y/N was watching. He walked right up to her the moment his eyes landed on her. He couldn't help but wrap himself around her. After the race, they were going out to celebrate his win because Y/N wanted to go out with the other drivers and so he agreed. After reaching his room to quickly shower and leave, he was met with his girlfriend who was sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't look happy and after a bit of back and forth; Max said it. The words that had been floating around in his head for a while now; he didn't know why he didn't say it sooner. He broke up with his girlfriend. He wasn't sad but rather relieved. He walked into the shower while his girlfriend packed everything up to leave]

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rosemariiaa · 2 months ago

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𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 02, 𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙨

“Some things are better left unsaid.”

˖˙ ᰋ ── pairing: Paige x Azzi

˖˙ ᰋ ── synopsis: the feeling of regret

˖˙ ᰋ ── rosie’s note: hi :), sooo don’t yell at me y’all know i’m sensitive, but yes apologies this was supposed to come out wayyy sooner but i’ve had a lot going on with my personal life i barely had time to write but luckily i finished this up! ik almost people were confused on the cliffhanger so i hope i explained it well in this chapter :) happy reading lovelies 💌

˖˙ ᰋ ── themes: hurt/comfort, guilt, angst

enjoy!!!

march 21, 2014

The cursor blinked at me, expectant. Judging.

Her name sat on the tip of my tongue. Not the one she introduced herself with, not the nickname she had tossed at me under the swing set like it was armor. Her real name. The one she’d trusted me with just days before everything shattered.

I hovered over the keyboard. How many times had I visited this account in the past two months? More than I could count. The anonymity she clung to should have been enough to keep me from connecting the dots. But the username—UnicornPuppy35—was a clue I couldn’t ignore, not after that rainy night, not after the slippers and the shirt that practically screamed it.

Azzi.

The realization should have made me stop, made me put down my phone and walk away. She didn’t know it was me. She didn’t know I was the one lurking, soaking up every word she wrote, piecing together her sadness, her anger, her loneliness. And she couldn’t find out—not like this.

If she did… God, if she ever found out, I wasn’t sure what would happen. She’d hate me more than she already did, and I couldn’t stand to see that look on her face again.

I leaned back in my chair, running a hand over my face. The memory of her tears still burned, sharp as glass.

flashback ⤑ february 13, 2013

The rain came down hard that night, the kind of downpour that soaked through your skin and left you raw.

I didn’t know why I left the house. Maybe it was the yelling, or maybe it was the silence that followed. Either way, I ended up at the park. The swings creaked under the weight of the wind, and the only other person there was huddled on one, head bowed as rain dripped from her curls and onto her bright pink unicorn shirt.

I almost walked away. She looked like she wanted to be alone, and honestly, so did I. But something stopped me—a tilt of her head, maybe, or the way her shoulders shuddered even as she sat still.

“Hey,” I said, stepping closer. The ground squelched under my shoes.

She looked up, startled. Her eyes, wide and brown, met my baby blues for half a second before darting away. “What do you want?”

I hesitated, shrugging. “Nothing. Just… didn’t think anyone else would be out here.”

Her laugh was bitter, like she didn’t believe me. She didn’t say anything else, just looked back down at her feet, the tips of her sneakers brushing the muddy ground.

I should’ve walked away. Instead, I sat on the swing next to her.

Over the next two weeks, those nights at the park became a ritual. When the lights in our houses went out, we met under the cover of darkness, sharing pieces of ourselves with kind of fully unraveling almost everything.

She told me about the girl at school—the one who dunked her head in the toilet and called her the f-slur. Her voice cracked when she said it, and my chest ached with something I didn’t quite understand.

“She’s just a bitch,” I said, reaching out without thinking. My hand landed on her shoulder, the fabric of her hoodie rough and wet under my palm. “You didn’t deserve that.”

She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t look at me either. “It’s not just her,” she muttered. “It’s… everyone.”

The night Azzi told me about the girl at school, something in her broke. Her voice cracked, a sharp edge slicing through the usual monotone she used when talking about her day.

“I didn’t even do anything,” she said, hugging her knees to her chest. Her breath came out in shivers, her curls dripping rainwater down her back. “She just—she said I was looking at her skirt, and the next thing I know, I’m—”

Her voice wavered, and she stopped. She didn’t have to finish. I could picture it: the cold porcelain, the laughter, the humiliation.

“She has to be insecure or something,” I said quickly, fumbling for the right words. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Azzi. She’s just taking her misery out on you.”

Azzi didn’t look convinced. Her lip trembled, and she pressed her face into her knees, hiding the tears I knew were falling.

I sat there, helpless. I wasn’t good at this—comforting people, saying the right thing. But I didn’t want her to feel alone.

“You wanna egg her house?” I joked, my voice soft. “Or, I don’t know, slash her parents tires?”

She huffed a wet laugh, the sound muffled by her hoodie. “She’d probably call the cops.”

“She’s a snitch, too?” I gasped dramatically, hoping to coax another laugh out of her. “That’s it. We’re definitely egging her house.”

Azzi peeked up at me, her eyes red and puffy but lighter somehow. “You’re stupid,” she said, but there was a ghost of a smile on her face.

——-

A few nights later, that’s when things fell apart.

I was at the park first, waiting for Azzi, when a group of girls from my neighborhood showed up. I didn’t know them well, but they were loud and funny in that kind of way that made you want to laugh along just to fit in.

We were sitting on the picnic table, their chatter filling the silence, when one of them asked, “Hey, Paige, why do you always hang out with that girl?”

I blinked, caught off guard. “Who?”

“You know, that Azzi girl,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Nobody hangs out with her.”

My stomach twisted. “Why not?”

The girl snorted. “Her mom’s, like, weird. Always with a new boyfriend or whatever. It’s embarrassing. She’s just a weirdo and looks weird.”

My jaw tightened. Before I could respond, another girl chimed in, laughing. “And her hair! It’s like, doesn’t she know what a brush is?”

The table erupted in laughter, but I couldn’t bring myself to join in. I glanced at the path leading to the swings, my heart sinking.

“Paige,” a voice said behind me.

I froze.

Azzi stood there, her face pale and her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Her mouth opened, then closed, and she shook her head, stepping back as if I’d physically struck her.

“Azzi, wait—” I started, scrambling off the table, but she was already turning away.

“Don’t,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “Just… don’t.”

I ran after her, catching her arm as she reached the edge of the park. “Azzi, I wasn’t—”

“Wasn’t what?” she snapped, whirling around. Her eyes were brimming with tears, her voice rising in anger. “Wasn’t laughing at me? Wasn’t sitting there while they trashed me?”

“I didn’t say anything!” I protested, my chest tight.

“That’s the problem!” she shouted, her voice breaking. “You just sat there, Paige. You didn’t even try to stop them, you let them say those things.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words stuck in my throat.

“Forget it,” she muttered, yanking her arm free. She wiped at her face angrily, her curls sticking to her cheeks. “I should’ve known better.”

“Azzi, come on,” I pleaded, my voice softer now. “It’s not like that—”

“What’s it like, then?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. “Because from where I’m standing, it’s pretty clear. I just don’t understand after all those nights I cried to you P.. how could you?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. By the time I found the words, she was already gone.

present day 2014

It’s been weeks since Azzi and I started talking online, just the two of us, anonymously. We’ve gotten comfortable—well, as comfortable as we can with the fake names and hidden identities. I try not to think about the lies I’m keeping from her, but I know deep down it’s the only way I can stay connected to her. She has to trust me, or she’ll leave. And I can’t handle that. Not again.

It’s the last day of school, and I’m practically buzzing with excitement as I head to the bus. I can’t wait to get home, and send Azzi a message—anything really. I don’t care if it’s about her puppy or the weather or something ridiculous. I just want to talk to her.

I find a seat on the bus and pull out my phone. As the bus rumbles on, I open up Blogspot. I scroll through the messages Azzi and I exchanged earlier, just before school started. I can’t help but laugh at the part where she told me her dog, Stewie, peed in her shoe. That image—her tiny, brown wiener dog peeing in her brand new sneakers—was so perfectly her. Her humor, her frustration, her charm.

I giggle, but then it hits me. The guilt. It crashes over me, sudden and sharp, like a wave I didn’t see coming. My thumb freezes over the screen, hovering over the keyboard. I look at the conversation, at the funny banter we shared this morning, and my chest tightens. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her.

If she knew who I really was, if she knew the truth about why I was pretending to be someone else… she would never look at me the same way again. She’d leave me. She would never trust me again.

I feel the tightness in my chest grow, and I look out the window, trying to distract myself. But it’s no use. The guilt is like a weight on my shoulders, pressing down harder the longer I sit with it. Every word I’ve typed to Azzi, every moment I’ve shared with her—it’s all a lie. And I hate myself for it.

But I can’t stop. I can’t let her go again. It pained me the first time…it won’t happen again.

I stare at the phone in my hand, biting my lip. What if she finds out? What if she figures it out before I can come clean?

What if? What if? What if?

The thought is too much. I set the phone down on my lap, staring out the window, hoping the weight in my chest will ease.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrates in my lap. A new message.

unicornpuppy35: p, i just got home and stewie’s tryna eat my shoelace again. i swear this dog’s scheming.

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. My thumb hovers over the screen again. I want to reply, want to send something funny, something comforting, but all I can think about is how this isn’t real. None of it is real.

boogers_p: obviously. stewie’s prolly like, “shoelaces are phase one. world domination’s next.”

unicornpuppy35: no fr, this little dude really thinks he runs the place.

boogers_p: i mean… does he not? u literally pay rent in shoelaces and snacks.

unicornpuppy35: and socks. don’t forget the socks. he got one of mine this morning smh.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh too loud as I typed back.

boogers_p: rip to the sock. gone but not forgotten.

The typing bubble popped up and disappeared a few times before finally settling on:

unicornpuppy35: ur so ridiculous, p. u know that?

boogers_p: i’ve heard rumors.

I paused, smirking at the screen. Then, a thought hit me, and her fingers flew over the keyboard.

boogers_p: ok, real question. what’s stewie short for? or did u just look at him and go, “yup, that’s a stewie”?

There was a pause before Azzi’s response came through.

unicornpuppy35: named him after breanna stewart.

I blinked at the screen, my smile softening. Of course she did.

boogers_p: oh damn, respect. stewie’s a legend fr but no surprise you chose her.

unicornpuppy35: p, language. and duhh, hence the name.

boogers_p: my bad my bad, but u really said, “lemme name my dog after greatness.” iconic move, puppy.

I knew the nickname would get to her. It always did. The reply came fast.

unicornpuppy35: stop calling me that!!!

boogers_p: nah. it fits too good. also, it’s cute. like u.

Shit. There was a long pause before I saw the typing bubble flicker again.

unicornpuppy35: u really know how to get on my nerves, huh?

boogers_p: talent, tbh.

Azzi’s response came slower this time:

unicornpuppy35: sometimes i wonder why i even talk to u.

Paige snorted, her thumbs moving fast.

boogers_p: cuz i’m funny. and charming. and u lowkey love me. just admit it.

The reply took a moment.

unicornpuppy35: …maybe stewie loves u. that’s as close as ur getting.

I barked out a laugh, the sound drawing a curious glance from the kid across the aisle.

boogers_p: i’ll take it. tell stewie i’m his #1 fan.

unicornpuppy35: he’ll probably steal another shoelace to celebrate.

boogers_p: a king. truly.

I stared at the screen for a second longer, my chest feeling warm and tight in a way I couldn’t even describe.

unicornpuppy35: u good, peanut? u seem kinda off lately.

My fingers hesitated over the keyboard, my mouth forming into a small smile at my nickname. Azzi always asked. I didn’t know how she managed to carry so much and still notice the little things about me. God.

boogers_p: yeah, i’m straight. just tired, you know?

unicornpuppy35: don’t let it get to u p. me and stewie got ur back.

Paige swallowed the lump in her throat, her reply coming slower this time.

boogers_p: thanks, puppy. u and stewie the real mvps fr.

Pup- I mean Azzi’s reply was just a string of eye-roll emojis, but I could picture the grin on her face. I wish I could just see it for myself.

boogers_p: love u too.

So much.

I send the message, knowing I can’t keep lying forever. But for now, I’ll hold on.

——-

Paige walked into her room, shutting the door with a quiet click, as if any louder might let her thoughts escape into the world. Tossing her bag into the corner, she kicked off her shoes and peeled off her clothes, leaving a trail toward the bathroom. The hot water scalded her pale skin, but she barely noticed, the familiar ache in her chest louder than the pounding spray.

When she came out, dressed in an oversized T-shirt, her damp hair sticking to her neck, she flopped onto her bed. She should sleep. She needed sleep. But instead, her hand reached for the scrapbook tucked under her nightstand.

Opening it, her heart clenched as she stared at the first photo—Azzi on the swing set, caught mid-laugh, her curls bouncing wildly as she leaned over, her dimple deepening with every giggle. Paige could still hear the sound of it, bright and free, almost as if Azzi were right there in the room with her.

The second photo wasn’t much better. Her and Azzi at the diner for her 15th birthday, Azzi’s arm slung around hers like it belonged there. Paige could almost feel the ghost of Azzi’s touch, the warmth of her hand on her arm, the way Azzi’s voice would soften when she scolded her for cussing too much.

She flipped the page closed before she started crying again. It didn’t help.

Her fingers brush over the closed scrapbook, tracing its edges. She knows it’s pathetic to feel this way, to let herself get so tangled up in someone who probably doesn’t even think about her anymore. It’s dumb, she knows that. But it doesn’t change the way her heart clenches at the thought of Azzi laughing somewhere else, with someone else, as if Paige never mattered.

Because the truth is, she’s never felt this way about anyone before. Not like this. Not about their friendship, or whatever it used to be. Friendship doesn’t even seem like the right word anymore. It feels too small, too simple for something that made her feel whole in a way nothing else ever has.

Will you miss me, Azzi? Paige swallows hard, her jaw tightening as tears blur her vision again. Will you miss what we had? Because I do. I miss you so much it hurts. It fucking hurts.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, her eyes closing as the words spilled from her heart. God I think I’d miss you even if we never met.

Paige dragged a hand over her face, trying to will the tears back, but they came anyway, hot and relentless. She clutched the scrapbook tighter to her chest. I miss you. Every day. Every second of every day. I miss you so much it’s pathetic.

She let out a shaky laugh that turned into a sob halfway through. “It’s so dumb,” she muttered, shaking her head. But no matter how many times she said it, it didn’t make it any less true. It’s the realest thing she’s ever felt.

Because no one had ever made her feel like Azzi did. Not before, not since. She wasn’t sure anyone ever would.

She wipes at her face, but the tears won’t stop. Because no matter how much she misses Azzi, Paige knows it’s her fault she’s gone. She clings to the scrapbook, the pictures inside the only pieces of Azzi she has left. And as much as it hurts, she knows she deserves this. Every ache, every tear, every lonely second.

Because she let her go. And that’s something she can never take back.

——-

Azzi sat quietly in the backseat, her hands clammy as she rubbed them over her shorts, trying to calm the nerves that had been with her all morning. Her brothers had hyped her up about making the team, calling her the coach’s “princess,” but it didn’t help. She was still terrified. What if she didn’t make it? What if she wasn’t good enough?

She whispered to Stewie, who was in her lap, his small body a source of comfort. “What if I don’t make the team, huh? I know it’s stupid, but it keeps running through my mind… what if I mess up?”

Her mom glanced back at her from the front seat, a soft smile on her face. “You’ll do fine, Azzi. You always do.”

But Azzi couldn’t shake the unease, the thoughts spinning in her head as the car pulled into the gym parking lot. Her stomach twisted into knots, and her heart raced in anticipation. They arrived early, her mom wanting to meet the coaches first, so Azzi was the first one there.

She stepped out of the car, still trying to calm her breathing. As her mom led her inside, Azzi forced herself to smile and greet the coaches, though her mind was a hundred miles away. She excused herself once the introductions were made, eager to find the locker room and settle in before tryouts started.

The gym was empty when she walked in, the silence amplifying her every step. She meandered down the hall, her fingers grazing the walls as she took in the pictures of past players, their smiles frozen in time. She felt her nerves rise again, the pressure of what was to come weighing on her.

But as she rounded a corner, her body collided with something—or rather, someone.

“Sorry!” Azzi blurted, quickly stepping back. But when she looked up, her breath caught. There, standing in front of her, was Paige. She froze, heart pounding in her chest. Her mind screamed for her to move, to say something, anything, but her body just wouldn’t cooperate.

Paige stood there too, her mouth slightly open in disbelief, her eyes wide. The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Then, almost as if the world had shifted, Paige finally spoke her name.

“Azzi?” she whispered.

Azzi’s stomach churned, but she couldn’t stop staring at her. How? How could she be here? How had she found her, of all places? This wasn’t supposed to happen, not here, not now. Not ever.

But Paige was looking at her like she hadn’t missed a beat, like the time apart hadn’t meant anything. Azzi could see the recognition in her eyes, the same as she felt in her chest.

It was instant. Her face was older now, sharper, but it was still her. Those blue eyes. The way she stood. Even the slight tilt of her head when she was unsure of herself. Azzi hadn’t expected it to hit her this hard.

A year ago, she swore she’d move on. Swore that she’d forget what Paige meant to her. But now, standing here, all she felt was the sharp twist of memory and the burn of anger.

How could she not recognize her? Paige had been the first person to make her feel seen, to make her feel like she mattered. But she had also been the first person to hurt her more than anyone else had. Azzi couldn’t forget that. Not the way she laughed with her, not the way she’d come after her with apologies she could never quite believe.

Azzi had convinced herself she was past it. Past Paige. But now, here she was, staring at her as if nothing had changed. It was too much, too fast. Does she really think I’ve forgotten?

Paige stepped forward, her movements tentative, unsure. Azzi almost wanted to take a step back, to run, but she couldn’t move. She stood there, feeling the weight of everything that had happened between them pressing in on her.

“Azzi,” Paige said softly, her voice almost hesitant.

Azzi blinked, her heart racing. She forced herself to act like she didn’t know her, even though everything inside her screamed that she did. “Sorry,” Azzi said, her voice steady despite the tightness in her chest. “Do I know you?”

——-

rosie’s note: well..yeah!

taglist ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

@thaatdigitaldiary @sierrale8ne @ohbueckers @imaginespazzi @pazzilover101 @makethemhoesmad @pboogerswbb @kmoneymartini @mrsarnold @absolutelydreadful @authentic-girl03 @melpthatsme @ashortyluvsports

#asks ❣︎#pazzi #halfway strangers fic #fic talk #paige x azzi #rosie’s works 🎧⋆｡ °⋆

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amyoffline · 3 months ago

Text

It's done! The outline for—

—is below the cut. The goal of this project is to explore the following phenomena with as much context and nuance as I can manage, tracing our history over the past 15 years:

What about us, and what about Dan and Phil, drew in and continues to draw in a very specific audience. If they are a ranch metaphor, we are a pizza metaphor 🥗🍕🫶🏻

Why we were Like That™, by which I mean so parasocially invested in them that we became, at times, the most annoying people on the internet. Much of that reputation is undeserved, and the videos on the phandom to date have been strongly negative. So, uh, I guess I'm going to put my face on camera and (mostly) defend us.

Reblog, share in your Discord servers, reply, or send me messages/anon asks with feedback or resources if you have any! Especially if your experience being in this fandom community has been dramatically different from mine. There are TIT spoilers near the end of the outline, but I'm not tagging because certain individuals seem to be lurking over there. Thank you!

Chapters:

Full outline:

introduction

cold open

felt personally attacked by jonathan haidt's last press tour

showed up to the phrenaissance 11 months late

had an unexpectedly strong response to their new content, needed to find out why

what the hell are we doing here?

- phenomenology (academics are professionally insufferable) - research question 1: what drew the audience in? - research question 2: why were we Like That™?

what we're NOT doing here

- a strict content analysis or "wow we sucked" video - providing sources for things best left uncirculated, thank you

reflexivity (personal biases)

- american zillennial in public health - in the youtube audience by spring 2010 - lurking in the phandom on tumblr 2013-2015, back* since 2019 - fan behavior i did and did not engage in

(----): truly necessary background information, i swear

(pop) cultural trends, tech, and their intersection

- nerd/geek identity and the first online weirdos - broadcast tv & the music industry vs the internet - defining "emo" - blogging & vlogging - early internet comedy

broader social/economic trends

- so the U.S. economy collapsed in 2007 - a decade that sucked except for rom-coms and square enix games - the flip/slide phone + digital camera + mp3 player loadout

(05-8): early youtube and early phil

youtube: a great video uploader without a clear purpose

the content on the website

- crossposts, corporations, and creative/social outlets - omg guys it's amazing phil - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: justin bieber

the audience of "early adopters"

contemporary social media sites and forums

(2009): origin story

a wild dan appears… in the comments

the global constant that is teenagers being messy online

daring my old school district to sue me

- "one town's war on gay teens" (literal rolling stone headline!) - epidemiology 101: rates of… ugh… "unaliving" oneself - ways kids cope when it seems no adults will help them

the earliest days of dan & phil

- hello internet + pinof - a chronically overexamined timeline - file deleted ---* so how big WAS the audience at the time? ---* acceptable funny/edgy language was just different

contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: lucas cruikshank

omg it's meeeeeee

- how amy & friends were using youtube - ways i was just destined to end up here - being in social environments with peers 3-6 years older

(2010): is it "twenty-ten" or "two thousand ten?"

youtube is a platform about to explode in popularity

- the algorithm before it was The Algorithm™, lost site features - let's take a trip through the wayback machine :3c - actual dan & phil content in 2010 - the green brothers found vidcon - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: darren criss

social media: also about to explode in popularity

- facebook was cool at the time, believe it or not - law of equivalent exchange: 2010 amy cringe compilation - the birth of instagram and pinterest - youtube slash livejournal (the first phanfics… sort of) - shockfic and its place in the overton window

the beginning of "the great rewiring" as haidt calls it

- ways social media is about to dramatically change - third spaces become online spaces - confounding variable: changing expectations of teens

(2011): the end of an era, the start of an age

a very long tangent on fandom and pop culture

cultural exchange

counterculture and teenagers as concepts

the first british invasion: the 1960s

- beatlemania and its descendents - moral panic about the virtue of tween/teen girls - tv/film/fashion trends being imported from the uk - in parallel, star trek births the modern fandom

the second british invasion: the 1980s

- synth/new pop that came out of the punk movement (hi, emo?) - confined mainly to music and fashion - cool britannia

it's harry freakin' potter

- absolute titan of pop culture influence - the rise of online fandom: examining the horrors ---* what is "wank" ---* flaming, sockpuppeting, and general cyberbullying ---* censorship: ffnet purges, boldthrough, & strikethrough ---* other fandom shenanigans of the time (yaoi paddles, anyone?)

harry potter's over. now what?

- for those who needed coming-of-age hero's journeys ---* twilight and YA dystopia waiting in the wings ---* some pretty iconic tv shows start or hit their stride ---* the mcu's phase one ---* takeaway: the rise of "geek culture" generally - for those who just wanted to go to hogwarts ---* doctor who & the wider world of bbc programming ---* british vloggers, you say? where? on youtube? brb--

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

dan & phil in the first half of 2011

- a continuation of 2010… for now - the videos - british pancakes as a case study of bad fan behavior

streaming and social media

- the birth of snapchat, twitch, and younow - netflix starts developing original programming - multi-channel networks (mcns) - digitour

dan & phil in the second half of 2011

- and they were roommates (omg they were roommates) - fantastic foursome - youtube glitches out - the super amazing project - the first proper baking video + wait, is that the bbc?

~ baking interlude 1: christmas cookies ~

the family sugar cookie (sorry, delia)

amy's 2011

(2012): why is anyone nostalgic for this

the transition from desktop to mobile

- massive growth in smartphone ownership 2011-2015 - things one might do on mobile one might not do on desktop - non-online ways smartphones changed being a youth™

what is tumblr and why is my child using it

- how the site is meant to work - fandom, memes, aesthetics, and SOME public figures - want to be anxious and depressed in peace? come to tumblr - this site seems a little……… gay ---* tumblr's very queer, very neurodiverse userbase ---* legacy media representation in 2012: bad! ---* actual academic research on tumblr users (yes, it exists) - the tumblr experience for non-native english speakers

amy becomes a vibrating mass of panic and paranoia

- in context of the above - additional rant about the american public school system

the growing dan & phil audience

- investigating the origin of the term "phannie" - more collaborations = more viewers - more video uploads = more /invested/ viewers - younow and interacting with fans - watch time replaces clicks in the algorithm

online etiquette, or lack thereof

- mid-transition from the 2000s to the 2010s - "professional internet celebrity" is still basically brand-new - lack of boundaries - various ways to be an asshole online - unsupervised kids simply do not engage in best practices

the end of 2012

- dan and phil move to london - wikipedia vandalism - tiptoeing around a top contender for the phandom's greatest sin - super amazing project DONE, now it's BBC RADIO TIME

(2013): arguably the most important year

- wait. what's that six-second video platform over there--

[amy's curated vine compilation]

- a new wave of internet comedians (read: future youtubers) - the zillennial lexicon - other platforms start emphasizing short-form video content - magcon

emo is BACK - well, sort of

- fob hiatus ends, mcr breaks up. my god. you had to be there - more open ties to nerd/geek culture than in the 2000s - these things once again intersect at dan and phil

dan and phil in the first half of 2013

- siri, what's a "sex symbol?" why are you booing me i'm right-- - d&p are everywhere - radio shows, interviewing, hosting - youtube uploads on their individual channels

rapidly changing cultural attitudes towards queerness

- gay marriage will be legal in places other than canada soon - a lot of assimilationist rhetoric though tbh - parallels to the pop feminism of the decade

hey kids, let's talk about compulsory heterosexuality!!

- what is it and why do people do it - academic, tumblr-level, and anecdotal research - the dannies, the phillies, and the phannies

amy

- the closet™ - mental health stigma - 2013 dnp posts from my main blog

dan and phil in the second half of 2013

- subscriber milestones, vidcon - joint content before the gaming channel - phandom starts having a major presence outside tumblr

(2014): achievement unlocked!

it's time to talk about rpf

- definitions (a chance to be annoyingly pedantic) - academic perspectives and fan discourse on the ethics - when the subjects clearly aren't fine with it - so… we can acknowledge "shipping phan" was different, right? ---* sometimes the subjects are fine* with it, actually ---* how dan and phil started to handle the shipping ---* obvious differences between phan and other rpf ships ---* sharing my favorite passages as a first-time phanfic reader

dan and phil in 2014

- wikipedia vandalism 2: electric boogaloo - bbc request show → internet takeover - the 7 second challenge - youtube content, subscriber milestones, rewind - cons and award shows

tumblr reaches the peak of its influence

- yahoo's attempts to monetize the userbase - buzzfeed and aggregators steal our jokes and bait our clicks - legacy media dangles carrots and uses us for free marketing - the legend of korra breaks TV precedent, almost out of nowhere - the tumblr user experience ---* on mobile, without xkit ---* on desktop, with xkit ---* 2014 dnp posts from my main blog

gamergate and its long shadow

- trolling, renewed and revamped - algorithms push increasingly extreme content - the broad conservative backlash conglomerate - increased normalization of conspiracism in general

my greatest sin [not clickbait] [very funny]

- so, circling back to comphet… - the actual story

anyway, let's talk about danandphilgames

- a star is born: dil howlter - different types of gaming content on youtube at the time - why did 17yo amy not subscribe? well…

~ baking interlude 2: chocolate cupcakes ~

make your own frosting. it freezes well

roasting myself further

(2015): it's not queerbaiting when it's real people

facebook "pivots to video"

- mark zuckerberg lied. water is wet - causes other platforms to REALLY double down on video - the birth of musical.ly - corporate-branded creators (read: future youtubers)

queerbaiting enters mainstream public consciousness

- academic origins - early fannish and acafan writing - johnlock, destiel, and sterek - statistics 101: type i error, type ii error, and queerbait

dan, phil, and the phandom

- bbc, cons, & the brits - danandphilcrafts - phan conspiracies ---* japhan ---* body language experts ---* timeline truthers ---* floor plan investigators ---* no but seriously imagine it - regular youtube uploads ---* solo content ---* joint content ---* subscriber milestones, rewind - tatinof uk and tabinof ---* on "selling out" ---* revisiting the statistics 101 lesson: now with real people! ---* never meet your heroes (unless they're dan and phil)

amy's (temporary) exit from the phandom

- it's legal adulthood with a steel chair!! - growing discomfort with some fans' behavior - 2015 dnp posts from my main blog - the closer: final fantasy vii

(2016): season finale

vine's imminent demise

- content platforms behaving badly - content creators behaving badly

youtube after "the great rewiring" (as haidt calls it)

- version 1.0 of the modern youtube algorithm ---* deep neural networks for dummies ---* what's holding creators accountable, or not - advertising and sponsorships ---* basically every child and youth™ is watching now ---* the battle for our attention ---* regulators start to crack down on undisclosed ads - the rise of drama/tea content (and later, channels) ---* youtubers are now seen as regular celebrities ---* dan and phil as the butt of other youtubers' jokes ---* baiting the phandom for engagement

tatinof us and aus

- a proven new model for live show tours - show & documentary released to youtube red (now premium) - [sigh] the tour bus

sea change in online fandom

- the newer, sometimes queerer media in korra's wake ---* better and more representation in live-action tv shows ---* voltron (i'm sorry!!!) ---* the mystic messenger craze ---* alice oseman & heartstopper - the new dynamics of #discourse ---* proship is to anti as phannie is to phanti ---* the bad behaviors of the 00s get a new coat of paint ---* new, though: fans harassing creators ---* a personal note on ace discourse

dan and phil presence off-tour

- the internet takeover ends - regular content, subscriber milestones

so. uh. current events.

- brexit - sorry the united states is a font of chaos - ripple effects

closing out the year

- amy finally gets an anxiety diagnosis and treatment! hurray! - dapgo, rewind - bbc radio awards & the boncas - gamingmas

(2017): time for a rebrand

tangent - sit down!!! buckle up!!! today's lecture is on PSIs & PSRs!!!

"parasocial" as defined by the current zeitgeist

- summing up youtubers' and laypeople's opinions (not dan's) - an unfairly negative stance overall, imo

older academic literature

- the 1956 paper (yes, 1956) - with traditional celebrities - with fictional characters

current academic literature

- with youtubers and other content creators - positive effects on the audience - negative effects on the audience - broader societal implications

fandom spaces as a parasocial experience

- parasocial and truly social interactions with each other - phandom as a supportive, welcoming space for oddballs - what research i can find about neurospicy folks, + anecdotes - me and everyone else on planet earth move to discord

inherent transactionality

- the nature of celebrity - positive effects on creators - negative effects on creators

reexamining early phandom through a parasocial lens

- the good, the bad, and the ugly - the role audience demographics played in all of this - entering, exiting, and remaining in the phandom

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

vine is well and truly dead

- some had prepared to become primarily youtubers (smart) - some move to musical.ly, insta, facebook, or snap (less so)

the sun sets on danisnotonfire

- i am very normal about dan's hobbit hair, i swear. - the last dnp content before the rebrand - new apartment, new floor plan investigations

adpocalypse now

- youtube has become the village elder of platforms ---* increased scrutiny, increased responsibility ---* some youtubers had been getting away with !#$!#@% - the scandals ---* pewdiepie + logan paul ---* elsagate and being "family- friendly" (read: ad-friendly) - censorship and monetization ---* adsense revenue goes down as advertisers pull out ---* the glory days of posting whatever and making bank are over

amazingphil and ~daniel howell~

- youtube & younow content - that week in march - vacations and conventions - conjoined baking and the concept of a "soft launch" - daniel & depression → dan as a mental health advocate - truth bombs, ii announcement, rewind

(2018): the phandom vs the hiatus they told us not to worry about

interactive introverts

- "giving the people what they want" - in hindsight… - let's talk about dnp fans from the global south

youtuber burnout

- it wasn't just dan: (more examples than header fits) - the old model was simply not sustainable - newer contributing factors - research on burnout, plus personal anecdotal experience

other dan and phil videos

- phil's solo videos - gay and not proud - hometown showdown - other joint videos - phil's #shorts (sounds normal in american english)

panini updates

- vaccines soon, uwu??? + entrenched misinformation - pros and cons of remote work - pros and cons of remote school - pros and cons of remote socializing

you will get through this night

- younger me really could have used this book too, dan - thoughts as a professional in a related field - reflecting on some of my more unique circumstances

daring my old school district to sue me (again!!)

- updates: racism and transphobia - updates: right-wing freaks take over the school board again - residents vote against improving mental health resources

(2022): dan returns (still not on fire)

hey so politics are um getting worse

- americans lose the right to reproductive freedom ---* the quickest of histories on where these freaks came from ---* this shit kills people. - trans kids become the punching bag of culture war discourse ---* fuck off! (gently) ---* fuck off! (i have a knife) ---* checking in on terf island

we're all doooooooooooooooomed

- dystopia daily my beloved - the style, the substance, the metatextual analysis-- - not everyone loved it, though. why? - the promo - dan on tour + sister daniel

amy's 2022

- i got covid - then i got long covid: brain fog, pots-like symptoms

some more news (i will work on my warmbo impression)

- dan joins tiktok + danisnotinteresting uploads - phil: uploading less, busy doing remote crisis management - twitter is acquired by an idiot jackass - heartstopper on netflix! ---* the show and what it means to people ---* drama (revisiting "real people can't queerbait") ---* why this has anything to do with the phandom

~ baking interlude 4: cinnamon rolls ~

- lovingly, recipe changes and corrections :) - if i have an opinion about anything, it's sweet yeasted breads

(2023): the phrenaissance

phil

- joins tiktok! - youtube uploads through september - what even is phannie tiktok. i've never used this app. help.

dystopia daily b-sides

- dan memes of 2022 - the 2023 dystopia daily episodes

amy: the doctoral candidacy process

- purgatory, privilege, poverty, and free pizza - checking in on what this is like outside the united states

pretending the panini is over

- complaining about post-adpocalypse censorship standards - honest take about "giving up" on covid - who gets the short end of the stick

the youtube algorithm is BAD and UNINTELLIGENT, actually,

- unhinged rant about not hearing about the gaming rephrival - because i was offline from other platforms. like, @amyoffline.

pov: you are a phannie (not me) on october 15th

- what i was doing on october 15th - saying goodbye forever, spooky week, and november - gamingmas - phil uploads through december

(2024): fifteen years of terrible, terrible influence

hey what the fuck is going on

- dan and phil ---* joint and phil videos ---* jokes they never would've made ten years ago ---* a collection of emotional posts about how far they've come ---* people want fun and silly content again. we'll get to why ---* nostalgia, hope, and other warm and fuzzy feelings - the phandom ---* ancient parasocial attachments, reactivated instantly ---* people are way more normal now. let's discuss why ---* tumblr vs twitter vs tiktok phandom

we're all doomed, youtube version

- my thoughts - thoughts on "dan should/shouldn't" do video essays - i can't objectively evaluate anything he makes bc [gunshots]

terrible influence tour

- legally phlonde - the concept: healing one's inner child / taking it back - we gotta talk about phannies in the global south again - no but seriously imagine it? ---*ogres are like onions, they have LAYERS ---* [placeholder for whatever does(n't) happen]

anglosphere current events once again

- the likely us tiktok ban - the tories get fired - [placeholder for whichever hell americans manifest] - witnessing genocide and feeling powerless

ffx full-circle moment to the intro of this video essay

- the night i found out they came back - why i am doing this, now with context - reflections on a nearly 15-year (parasocial) relationship

whatever youtube uploads we get during fall/december

AMY SEES TIT (nov 14)

- the vibes at the phamily reunion - buying merch to apologize for eternal ublock origin use - how much should i document?? (not during the show) - phanspiracies confirmed - atlanta confessions - favorite bits - the alternate universe where i went to tatinof and/or ii

(2025): the horrors persist, but so do we

whatever 2025 content is out while i'm still working on this

our parasocial social club

- let me be philosophytube for a second ---* every interaction has a parasocial element ---* what are we obligated to do as a phandom, actually? ---* as people who parasocially care about these two dorks? ---* what else should we be doing socially to be at our happiest? - "they're my gay uncles" vs "i'm a little in love, even now" ---* riffing about the boundary/overlap between these camps ---* sibling reads me for filth in a single text (sister daniel...) ---* at least we're all in this together

what's going to continue to draw people in

- grown adults drawing our cat whiskers back on - updates on queer/nd kids - updates on anxiety/depression rates - updates on tech and the broader environment of content - world still feels doomed

tangent - the "hard launch" and why people want it

what are people referring to, exactly

- general definition and other examples - when it comes to dan and phil - maybe they hard launched already and we just missed the memo

the ludonarrative of phandom

- if you got here early on - if you got here in the mid-2010s - if you got here after they came out - if you got here post-hiatus - final fantasy comparison: ffvii's chokehold over first-timers

a rom-com for the ages

- the tropes in play - brief tangent on the evolution of the genre - queer romantic comedies - final fantasy comparison: ffviii's plot and squall/rinoa

phriends… or…

- wholesome influence, slice-of-life - projection - final fantasy comparison: ffxv's gameplay loop, the chocobros

humans don't like ambiguity

- from a media perspective (narrative tension) - research from the hard sciences - final fantasy comparison: fanille ---* the first gay final fantasy characters, actually ---* ffxiii's character development process ---* fang and vanille in the text. brb, clawing at the walls ---* so, if anyone is looking for a phyuri au prompt…

tl;dr: reality is not fiction. make peace with not "knowing"

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

the phuture

- phil's big solo project when??? - dapg is just the joint channel now - youtube has changed since when dan last "regularly" uploaded - nothing lasts forever, and that's okay

~ baking interlude 5: ranch + pizza ~

- ranch propaganda and ranch metaphors - showing off my dough and sauce skills

conclusions

- a lot has happened in 15 years - [placeholders: don't write your conclusions before you do your research]

Proof this project can only be done in consultation with Tumblr: no other platform we're on could accommodate a post of this length and formatting detail lol

#dan and phil #phan #dnp #daniel howell #amazingphil #this took so long to format oh my god please read it and talk to me #except it's 1am in my time zone so i'm going honk mimimimi soon enough #amy writes

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its-avalon-08 · 9 months ago

Note

I liked those song based fics!!! Can you do one about Nico Rosberg based on Love Again — Dua Lipa?

opened my heart again (nr6)

monaco, 2013. the air crackled with the electric anticipation of the grand prix. nico rosberg, steely-eyed in his mercedes cockpit, tried to ignore the familiar pang of loneliness. a year ago, a high-profile relationship with a model had ended in a blaze of betrayal. since then, nico had thrown himself into work, building a wall around his heart.

across the pit lane, amidst the flurry of activity in the red bull garage, stood a young woman, her sunshine-colored hair bouncing with uncontainable enthusiasm. this was y/n, a brilliant f1 engineer with a smile that could outshine the riviera sun. unlike most engineers, y/n wasn't afraid to chat with the drivers, her outgoing personality a stark contrast to the team's usual stoicism.

three months later, singapore grand prix

nico and y/n's paths kept crossing. they'd bump into each other at press conferences, share a laugh in the paddock, or find themselves seated next to each other during driver briefings. y/n, ever the extrovert, would pepper nico with questions about his car, his training, anything that piqued her curiosity. nico, initially guarded, found himself drawn to her genuine interest and infectious laughter.

i never thought i'd hear my heartbeat so loud

singapore, 2014. the post-race atmosphere crackled with champagne-fueled revelry and post-race dejection. nico, having finished a frustrating third, retreated to the mercedes hospitality area, a scowl etched on his face.

suddenly, a burst of sunshine entered the room in the form of y/n, a tray of cold drinks balanced precariously in her hands.

"hey, nico! congrats on the podium, even if it wasn't the top step," she said brightly, dodging a stray ice cube as a teammate reached for a drink.

nico grunted a response, not looking up from his phone. y/n, ever the optimist, persisted.

"seriously, though," she continued, setting the tray down, "your overtake on lewis around turn 11 was phenomenal. pure guts and precision."

nico finally looked up, a flicker of surprise crossing his features. he eyed y/n warily.

"what do you want?" he said brusquely, "do you need something?"

y/n's smile faltered slightly, replaced by a flicker of confusion. "just complimenting you," she said, her voice losing some of its usual cheer.

"for publicity or what?" nico shot back, his voice laced with suspicion.

y/n's brow furrowed. "stop doubting things that happen to you, nico," she said, her voice firm but kind. "not everyone is trying to take advantage of you or something. sometimes, people just appreciate good driving or a good person."

nico stared at her, the harshness momentarily draining from his face. he hadn't expected such genuine warmth, especially from someone on the rival team. maybe, just maybe, y/n was right.

as the night wore on, the technical talk faded into comfortable silences and shared stories. nico found himself confiding in y/n about his past relationship, surprised at the ease with which the words flowed.

i can't believe there's something left in my chest anymore

"you deserve someone who appreciates you, nico," y/n said, her voice soft. "someone who sees beyond the trophies."

nico looked into her eyes, a flicker of something new igniting within him.

a few months later

abu dhabi, 2014. the desert sun beat down mercilessly on the yas marina circuit. nico and y/n found themselves side-by-side in the shade of a catering tent, seeking refuge between practice sessions.

"ugh," y/n sighed, wiping a bead of sweat from her brow. "this heat is brutal. makes me crave something sweet."

nico, still untrusting of easy compliments, raised an eyebrow. "cupcake, perhaps?"

y/n's eyes widened. "oh my god, yes! especially red velvet with that perfect cream cheese frosting. the kind my grandma used to make."

nico, who wasn't one for sugary treats, simply smirked. "sounds like pure sugar overload."

y/n nudged him playfully. "hey, don't knock it till you try it!"

the next morning, the pre-race tension crackled in the air. nico, focused on securing pole position, barely registered the commotion near the red bull garage. then, a delivery boy emerged, a giant box precariously balanced in his arms.

"uh, miss engineer?" he said, approaching y/n. "delivery for vivienne?"

y/n, who went by her middle name at work for professional reasons, looked surprised. "actually, it's y/n, but thanks!"

she peered into the box, her jaw dropping open. inside, nestled in a bed of shredded paper, were a dozen perfect red velvet cupcakes, each topped with a swirl of decadent cream cheese frosting. a small, hand-written note rested on top.

y/n unfolded it, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she read the single sentence: "hope these satisfy your sweet tooth. -nr"

i used to think that i was made out of stone

sebastian vettel, leaning against the red bull car, let out a low whistle. "someone's got a secret admirer, vivienne," he teased, a sly grin spreading across his face.

y/n shot him a playful glare, her heart fluttering. this wasn't just a cupcake delivery. it was a sign, a sweet, delicious sign, that maybe, just maybe, nico was letting his guard down a little.

five month later, italian grand prix

their friendship had blossomed. they'd celebrate victories together, commiserate defeats, and steal moments for stolen conversations whenever their schedules allowed.

one balmy italian evening, after a thrilling race that saw nico finish second, y/n found him sitting on the pit wall, head buried in his hands.

"hey," she said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "tough luck out there, but you were amazing."

nico looked up, a flicker of despair in his eyes. "i'll never be good enough," he confessed. "not for the team, not for anyone."

y/n's heart ached for him. "nico," she said, her voice firm, "you're incredible. don't let anyone tell you differently." she sat beside him, their shoulders brushing. "and maybe..." she hesitated, then met his gaze, a blush creeping up her cheeks, "maybe you deserve to be happy again."

but goddamn, you got me in love again

the unspoken words hung heavy in the air. nico stared at her, his heart pounding against his ribs. in that moment, under the starlit italian sky, nico knew. he was falling for y/n, and the fear was a flimsy shield against the tide of his emotions.

budapest grand prix, 2016

budapest, 2016. the champagne had flowed freely on the podium, celebrating nico's dominant victory. now, the after-race party was in full swing, a blur of flashing lights and thumping music. nico, however, found himself drawn to a quieter corner where y/n stood, talking animatedly with a group of engineers.

he approached her, feeling a familiar knot of nerves twist in his stomach. "hey," he said, his voice barely audible over the music.

y/n turned, her smile lighting up her face like a beacon. "nico! congratulations again, you were incredible out there."

nico rubbed the back of his neck, a blush creeping up his cheeks. "thanks, but... well, the real accomplishment is you guys keeping this beast of a car running." he gestured vaguely at a passing red bull mechanic.

y/n chuckled. "we try our best, even with you drivers pushing them to the limit."

a comfortable silence settled between them for a moment, broken only by the pulsing music. nico cleared his throat, trying to formulate his next words.

"y/n," he began, his voice dropping to a low murmur, "i, uh... you're, like, really..." he trailed off, frustration bubbling up. how could he put into words the kaleidoscope of emotions she evoked in him? her intelligence, her humor, the way she lit up a room with her smile – it was all too much.

show me that heaven's right here, baby

before he could spiral further, y/n's hand gently touched his arm. her touch sent a jolt through him.

"nico," she said softly, her eyes sparkling with amusement, "you're rambling."

he groaned, burying his face in his hands. "this is hopeless, isn't it?"

y/n's laugh rang out, a sweet melody that cut through the noise of the party. she reached out again, this time taking his hand in hers. it was warm and soft, a stark contrast to the calloused grip of a steering wheel.

"where were you going with that, nico?" she asked, her voice laced with a playful challenge.

nico met her gaze, his heart pounding in his chest. "i was trying to say... well, i think you're amazing. kind, funny, brilliant..." he trailed off again, a helpless smile spreading across his face.

y/n squeezed his hand, her eyes twinkling. "and?"

nico closed the distance between them in one swift movement, his heart hammering against his ribs. before he could overthink it, he pressed his lips against hers. the kiss was soft and tentative at first, then deepened as y/n melted into him. the taste of champagne and something faintly sweet lingered between them.

when they finally pulled apart, breathless and slightly dazed, y/n's smile was wider than he'd ever seen. "maybe," she said, her voice husky, "you could have just started with that."

used to be afraid of love and what it might do but goddamn, you got me in love again

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

well i hope you liked it! thank you for sending in your request and do send more <3 happy reading!

leave a like! leave a note!

🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

#nico rosberg #nico rosberg x reader #nico rosberg x you #nico rosberg x y/n #nico rosberg x oc #nico rosberg x female #brocedes #sir lewis hamilton #red bull racing #female f1 #formula 1 #f1 imagine #formula one #y/n #f1 female driver #request #anon #nr6 #nr6 x female reader

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sammy8d257 · 2 months ago

Text

Saved Messages - AvA Sticktober 2024 Day 17

Written by Sammy8D257

Part of the Watered Down Hot Chocolate: A Melted Marshmallows Side Story

Word Count: 2123

CW: Angst & Hurt No Comfort, Swearing, Parental Sickness (Purple's Mom), Character Death (Purple's Mom), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Summary:

You have 17 saved messages To listen to your messages, press 1 To send a message, press 2 To change your personal options, press 4 To disconnect, press * - [1]

[AvA STICKTOBER 2024 LIST]

[Ao3 ver.]

(LMAO- FINALLY POSTING THIS 2 WEEKS PAST THE END OF STICKTOBER, in my defense, I got busy and my attention was captivated by minecraft smp RP, RIP o7

I will preface this with a warning, this ficlet can get a little intense with the angst so take note of the CWs and take care of yourself! 💜)

=o=

You have 17 saved messages

To listen to your messages, press 1

To send a message, press 2

To change your personal options, press 4

To disconnect, press *

[1]

First Saved Message

Sent: March 2004

From: My Flower 🌸

"Hi baby! Hee-hee, I know you're just across the room but a certain someone is veeeeery excited about the new phones and wants to leave a very special message to test out the voicemail system."

[sounds of rustling]

"… okay now make sure to hold the phone like this- And speak clearly into here-"

"Hi papa! I have a super duper secret message to tell yah!"

[a pause before sounds of running feet across the floor]

"Wah-?! Purple my phon-"

[a door slam]

"Mama hid the cookies on the top shelf!And I love you so much!! You're the best papa in the world!!"

[the sounds of shuffling and the door opening]

"There you are my little sprout. May I have my phone back please?"

[giggling]

"Thank you Purple. How about we go see if your papa gets your message. And yes Blue, I can still see you laughing even if you hide behind the door frame. So here's my message! I love you my dear."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Second Saved Message

Sent: March 2004

From: My Flower 🌸

"Hello my love, do you think you could do me a huge favor and pick Purple up from school today? The ladies at the boutique are running a lot later than expected and I'm afraid I'll be holed up here for another hour."

[a muffled greeting can be heard]

"Oh hello Jewel, it's always a pleasure to see you today! If you give me one moment, I'm just finishing up a message for my husband!"

[a muffled affirmation]

"Thank you darling, I'll be with you in one moment!

Ah, duty calls! I have to go but oh! Before I forget, remind me to have our discussion later tonight. You know I'm not as knowledgeable when it comes to the whole stick figure fighting scene and if you're so keen on Purple to learning, I'd like to get more details."

[the sound of a doorbell alert rings]

"Oh hello! Welcome!

… I have to go, I love you Blue, see you and our little sprout at home!"

[END OF MESSAGE]

Third Saved Message

Sent: August 2011

From: Orchid

"..."

[a sigh]

"Listen, I know I'm probably one of the last people you want to talk to right now but whether you want to talk to me or our lawyers, we still need to discuss this."

"My lawyer stated that there are two routes we can take for this. Either we get fully divorced or we can do a legal separation. It is at the behest of my lawyer that we come to a decision soon and I'm inclined to agree."

"..."

"If you don't want to talk to me, then fine. Get your lawyer to talk to mine. I just… I just don't want to drag this out any longer than it needs to be."

[another sigh]

[mumbled] "... shit I need to check on Purple again…"

"Goodbye Blue."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Fourth Saved Message

Sent: June 2013

From: Orchid

"... Hi Papa. It's been a bit.

I uh, mama let me have her phone to play the tetris game and I clicked on the wrong thing, by accident! But it was the place with all the names and numbers and I found your name and it's been so long and I thought…

I turn 14 in a month. I think maybe, if you want, you could com-"

"Purple? Little sprout who are you talking to?"

"No one mama! I was-"

"May I have my phone back?"

"Yeah hold on let me just-"

[END OF MESSAGE]

Fifth Saved Message

Sent: June 2013

From: Orchid

"Don't talk to Purple."

"Do you hear me? Don't you ever talk to them again."

"We don't need you."

"I'm giving Purple a phone for their birthday and when I do, I will text you their number."

"Block them."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Sixth Saved Message

Sent: July 2013

From: [BLOCKED NUMBER]

"Hi Papa! It's Purple. Mama gave me a phone for my birthday."

"I got your number from Mama's phone so now we can talk again! Ah, or you know, whenever you have time."

"..."

"Mama got mad at me for calling you last month. She's still upset about you and I-"

"..."

"I don't know how I feel. It's my fault. I should have been better. I know I messed up. I just…"

"Uh! Eh, I apologize. I shouldn't worry you with that stuff. I hope you're doing well! I tried texting you but the message said it didn't deliver? I'll have to ask Mama if I messed something up again."

"But I'll call you again soon! Or maybe text? Uh, we'll see!"

"Umm… bye!"

[END OF MESSAGE]

Seventh Saved Message

Sent: May 2015

From: [BLOCKED NUMBER]

"Pap-uh… I mean, uh… Dad. Sorry. I'm sorry. I-"

[Three deep breaths]

"I'm sorry for calling you. I know you don't want me to. No one ever does but I don't know who else to call and I just-"

[another breath cut off by a short distressed whine]

"Mama she's- fuck, sorry I'm sorry. Mama is, we're, we're at the hospital. She collapsed and and and-"

"I'm scared. Dad, Papa, I'm scared. I don't-"

[A grunt followed by a hiss of pain]

[muffled] "Get a hold of yourself!"

[A deep breath]

"The nurse said to call someone in case Mama needs to stay overnight and I know you don't like me but- !"

[the sound of door opening]

[muffled] "Are you Ms. Orchid's child?"

"Yes, yes! Is she-?"

"Your mother is okay. The doctor is coming soon to look her over and she requested you to be present in the room for it."

"Okay okay, thank you, thank you. Let me just-"

[END OF MESSAGE]

Eighth Saved Message

Sent: May 2015

From: Orchid

"Why did you call me?"

"No actually better question, how did you know I was in the hospital? I swear to Cursors Blue if you talked to Purple I am going to-"

[frustrated sigh]

"Look, it doesn't matter all right? I'm…"

"Well, it's nothing that concerns you anymore."

"If you really want to talk, call me in 5 hours. Purple will be in bed by then."

"Goodbye."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Ninth Saved Message

Sent: February 2017

From: Purple

"Hello sir."

"I apologize, I probably caught you at a bad time but before you close this message completely, please hear me out."

[a pause and a sharp intake]

"I need you to increase the amount of alimony you send per month. Not by a lot! I got a part time job recently so that should help a lot with the problem but I'm still concerned."

"..."

"Mama she… Orchid's treatments aren't working. Well they're not making things worse but she's not getting better either. We've been fine up until now with paying for medical stuff but there's a new treatment that I want her to try but it's a little more expensive. I just worry…"

"All I'm asking is at max an additional 5% of what you're already paying monthly. And I know how much that is because I do the taxes now."

"... Please. I just want her to be okay."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Tenth Saved Message

Sent: February 2017

From: The Man 🕶️

"Hey hey hey, Big Shot! Wasn't expecting a call from Mr. 'Killer Cobalt' himself on my day off. Sorry I missed yah the first time, you know how busy a man can get."

"But regardless! I listened to your message and I'll see what we can do about getting you that increase in pay. Gotta talk with the bigwigs. In the meantime, if you really are in need of more dough, your best bet is to find some additional gigs to fight at. I might be able to sign you up for a tournament if you want?"

"Eh, we'll hash out the details later, preferably tomorrow. You know what they say, 'All work and no play makes Granite a very dull boy'.

Heheh, alright catch you later Blue."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Eleventh Saved Message

Sent: March 2017

From: Purple

"Thank you."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Twelfth Saved Message

Sent: March 2018

From: Orchid

[a muffled steady beeping]

"..."

"You know, despite it being months, no years of this happening to me, I still can't believe this is it."

[a shaky chuckle]

"I was hoping for you to be in the middle of a match to call you just so I didn't have to have this conversation in person. But now that I'm here, I wish I could hear your voice again."

"I wish I could hear you say you love me again… It's pathetic…"

[a wet laugh]

"Heartbreak. That's what I was diagnosed with. Heartbreak that developed into an actual heart condition because of my animation origins. Can you fucking believe that? All of this because I came from a drama animation."

"I don't know why I never told you… That's a lie, I know why. My pride. My pride didn't let me. I didn't want to believe you leaving had any effect on me. I didn't want to believe anything was wrong. I wanted to believe without you, everything could just go back to normal."

[a sob bit back with a laugh]

"Instead, I messed everything up. We failed them. I failed them. I failed Purple. I kept it all hidden until it was too late. What parent has their child to look after them like this? They just turned 18 a few months ago. They're still so young. And now I'm never going to see them grow-"

[sobbing]

"It's not fair. To any of us. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish you weren't such an asshole. I wish you didn't leave. I wish we never met. I wish I didn't still…"

"..."

"Goodbye Blue. I wish I didn't miss you."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Thirteenth Saved Message

Sent: April 2018

From: Purple

[sobbing]

"FUCK FUCK- BLUE- DAD- PAPA PLEASE"

"SHE'S DYING! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

I KNOW YOU HATE ME! I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE!

SHE'S DYING

IF YOU CARED ABOUT HER, IF YOU EVER CARED AT ALL, YOU'D BE HERE-

YOU CAN HELP HER

I CAN'T- SHE'S-

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I DON'T WANT HER TO DIE

MAMA-

[sobbing and a thump]

Mama…

[END OF MESSAGE]

Fourteenth Saved Message

Sent: April 2018

From: Purple

"Fuck you. FUCK YOU"

"I hope you rot in hell. I hope there isn't a day where you don't regret your fucking actions and I hope you suffer for it."

"I hate you. I hate that you did this. I hate that you aren't here. I hate that I wasn't enough. I hate this. I hate you. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU-"

[sounds of sobbing, a frustrated scream and then loud crash]

[END OF MESSAGE]

Fifteenth Saved Message

Sent: April 2018

From:

"Thank you for calling Obelisk Funeral Services, I'm calling to confirm that full payment for the funeral of Orchid Grove has been handled by one, Blue "Killer Cobalt" Stick Figure, instead of the previously listed Purple Grove Stick Figure. All parties will be informed once the transaction goes through. A list of details will be emailed to all acting parties. If you have any questions, please call the call back number at the end of this message.

Obelisk Funeral Services appreciates your time, thank you."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Sixteenth Saved Message

Sent: April 2018

From: The Man 🕶️

"Hey Big Man, I got your message."

"Yeah, I get it yah know. A death in the family is always rough. Don't worry about nothin'. Take as many days off as you need."

"Heh, Cursors know it's been a minute for you."

"Just keep me updated on a time frame and we'll be right as rain."

"Take it easy buddy."

[END OF MESSAGE]

Seventeenth Saved Message

Sent: May 2018

From: Purple

"..."

"Thank you for paying for the funeral. I didn't see you there but…"

"I saw the flowers you put on her grave. They're lovely."

"..."

"I've made a decision. I'm leaving. The house and its belongings are yours to do as you want. Store it or sell it. It doesn't matter."

"I'm going to a place where you won't be able to find me. Do not try. I do not want to be found."

"..."

"If you care… just know I will be safe."

"Goodbye Blue."

[END OF MESSAGE]

End of Messages;

To listen to your messages, press 1

To send a message press 2

To change your personal options press 4

To disconnect press *

[1]

#Sammy8D writes #alan becker #ava sticktober 2024 #ava sticktober #animation vs minecraft #AvA fanfic #avm shorts #AvM Fanfic #AvA Cobalt #AvA Regular Blue #AvA Orchid #AvM Purple #AvAM Watered Down Hot Chocolate #AvAM WDHC Melted Marshmallow #AvAM WDHC MM #AvAM WDHC #Sammy8D Stick Stuff

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angryschnauzer · 2 years ago

Text

In Need Of Help

Summary: Whilst visitng your parents for the holidays you find a present your roommate gave you, a buttplug. Unfortunately for you it gets stuck and there’s only one person you can ask for help; your parents next door neighbour and your dads best friend; August Walker

Pairing: Dads Best Friend August Walker x Female Reader (Slight age difference approx 8 years)

Fandom: Henry Cavill, Mission Impossible: Fallout.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Smut, Age Gap Relationship, Sex Toys, Butt Plug, Butt Plug getting stuck, fingering, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex, Creampie

Wordcount: 3333

Here is my masterlist and AO3

I do not run a tag list, instead please follow @angryschnauzerwrites and put that blog onto notifications, you’ll then get an alert each time i post something new. My AO3 also has my entire back catalogue of stories (going back to 2013).

In Need Of Help

This is not the predicament you had been expecting to find yourself in when you’d made plans to spend Christmas with your parents in the suburbs. The worst thing you could have imagined happening would have been your much younger siblings causing bruises as they excitedly climbed on you - their big sister - instead you found yourself with your phone in your hand, scrolling through your contacts from high school to figure out who you could call as this was a problem you couldn’t fix on your own and was certainly not one you could ask your parents with.

When your best friend handed you your Christmas gift before you’d left, she had a shit eating grin on her face and simply said ‘don’t open it in front of your family’. It was only when you’d been sorting through your bag towards the end of your stay you’d found the forgotten gift and unwrapped it, almost dropping it when you saw the silver plug shining in the discrete velvet box, a small package of lube tucked in next to it. A note in your friend’s handwriting was tucked into the lid; ‘you need to open your horizons’.

“Yeah, we’ll I've got to open my asshole first it would seem” you muttered to yourself, your thoughts interrupted by your Mom as she called up to you.

“We’re going now, enjoy the peace and quiet!”

That had been an hour ago, and now as your parents had taken your younger siblings to their post Christmas gymnastics lesson you’d stayed home, and after a restless half hour of attempting to read or enjoy your other seasonal gifts, you’d found yourself in your bedroom with the plug. You were horny. The walls of your parents' home were thin, so you hadn’t had a chance to use the small vibrator you’d optimistically packed, and had settled down with your kindle and some of the spicy titles you’d downloaded. A brief moment of misplaced confidence and that was how you found yourself in your predicament; the plug was stuck.

At first you’d enjoyed the sensation, having gone slowly with a small amount of lube, but you’d shifted on the bed to get more comfortable but it’d had the opposite effect. Deciding it was time to remove it you’d stretched, twisted and tried, but no matter what you attempted your ass was not giving up its new decoration.

So this is where you were, in need of help. Shutting your phone down you sighed, not a single one of your local contacts was someone who you’d feel comfortable approaching with such a matter, those that had stayed in town seemed the most vanilla type of people possible. You couldn’t even call your best friend as you knew she was on duty as a flight attendant, probably somewhere 40,000ft in the air right at this moment. Standing in your room you glanced out of the window and a thought came to you. Chewing on your lip you considered your options, before pulling your woollen socks further up your legs so your knitted dress covered the tops of them, sliding on your boots and making your way out of the house.

Your parents had conceived you early, whilst they were in high school, and against the odds had made a teen pregnancy work. Married fresh out of high school they had taken turns to go to local community college whilst raising a small child, only expanding their family once you headed off to college, and now you had twin sisters who were almost a generation younger than you. It also meant that the ages of your friends and the ages of your parents' friends would intersect in the middle. One friend in particular of your parents was their next door neighbour, August Walker.

Mr Walker, or August as he’d insisted you’d call him, was smack bang in the middle of the age bracket between you and your parents, and although your father’s friend, he was known to throw a wink at you now and again when your parents weren’t looking. When you’d visited for 4th of July you’d be bending over in a short sundress to unload the dishwasher, when you’d turned around and saw him paused at the door to the kitchen. A smirk and a wink, he’d started to approach you when your Dad had called out to you, and with another wink he’d discretely adjusted himself before disappearing back to the party.

As you crossed the short path between houses you did your best not to slip over on the snow, the last thing you needed to happen was to fall on your ass, especially considering your current ass-based issue.

When he opened the door he briefly looked surprised, before a small smile crossed his face;

“Hi, what can I do for you?”

Shivering on the doorstep you hugged yourself tightly, your shivering more from nerves than the cold;

“Umm… can I come in, please?”

Ten minutes later you were stood beside the sleek marble kitchen island, August pushing a strong drink across the counter for you to take;

“Thanks”

Rather than staying on the opposite side of the island, August circled around with his glass of whiskey before he stood in front of you. Placing his glass on the counter he rested both of his hands on your upper arms, softly rubbing as he spoke;

“Thank you for coming to me with this. You’re a beautiful girl and i wouldn’t want anything to happen to you”

“August, I’m not a girl, I’m 25” you corrected, slightly annoyed that he called you a girl; “And currently have a buttplug stuck in my ass”

“And we’ll get that sorted. Lots of first times can be embarrassing or tricky”

“It’s not my ‘first time’, i’ve fucked before”

He hooked his finger beneath your chin, guiding your head slightly so you could meet his intense gaze;

“I don’t doubt that, I meant the first time with something in your ass” he said with a slight chuckle.

“So umm… how are we… Are you going to do this? Should I just bend over or…?”

Wrapping his arms around you he pulled you to his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of your head;

“Oh Princess, no. No we’re not. You need to relax, as you’re no doubt wound so tight right about now that nothing is gonna go in or out of that ass”

You let out a sigh, inhaling his aftershave as your face was pressed to his chest, the soft knit shirt warm and comforting. After a few moments you pushed back and looked August in the face, for the first time noticing how his left eye had a little patch of brown in the iris among the icy blue. You were lost in your own mind when you realised he’d been saying something;

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I said, let's get started”

He slipped his hand into yours but you didn’t make a move;

“How are we going to do this?”

He sighed before stepping back towards you;

“Believe it or not Princess, this isn’t my first rodeo with a lovely young lady being a little over confident with their butt. First and foremost you need to relax, and i don’t mean mentally, i mean physically. You need to relax all your pelvic muscles…”

“Ok…”

“And the easiest way to do that is arousal”

You paused, taking in the reality of what you were about to do

“I see. And you’ll…”

“Help. In any way you need me to”

August had led you through his house to his bedroom which was exactly as you’d been expecting; simple dark tones, dark bedding, low lighting. The windows overlooked the wooded shore of the lake, the opposite direction from your parents house. The sense of privacy was comforting, and yet as August shut the door you felt a sense that you were way out of your depth. Crossing the room he stood in front of you, again resting his palms on your upper arms;

“So, what would you like?”

Taking a deep breath you could feel your voice waiver a little;

“I want you to take charge please, August”

He let out an appreciative hum before hooking his knuckle beneath your chin to turn your face to him before kissing you. What started as a small gentle touch of his lips soon developed into more, and before long your arms were around his shoulders as his tongue pushed into your mouth, tasting you as you were pliable in his grasp. He slowly pulled at your sweater dress until it was at your chest, breaking the kiss;

“Lift your arms Princess”

Doing as he told you, he lifted the garment all the way off, taking a moment to appreciate the way your bra cupped your breasts.His gaze travelled further down and smiled at the Christmas print cotton thong;

“Mmm, turn around” he instructed, his voice low

Slowly turning, your socks smooth on the thick pile carpet of his bedroom, when your ass was facing him he rested a hand on your shoulder;

“Hands on the bed”

Leaning forwards a little you set your palms onto the black comforter that was neatly folded on the high bed. You felt as he held your buttocks in his massive hands, warming the skin with his palms before pulling your cheeks apart a little and letting out a long slow breath;

“Now that is one of the prettiest sights i’ve seen”

You let out a small squeak as his hand slid between your legs, his thumb barely grazing against the plug as his fingers worked between your folds, grunting as he found you already soaked. Tenderly his fingers explored your folds, his other hand wrapping around your torso and pulled you up to stand, cupping your chin to turn your head so he could kiss you as his fingers worked between your thighs.

As his fingers pushed further you broke the kiss, panting out as you instinctively rose up onto your toes, your back supported against August’s chest.

“Such a good girl, so wet and tight, your pussy is begging for another finger, isn’t it?”

“Yes August, please”

With another low hum of appreciation he shifted his hand to allow a second finger slide into your eager hole, his breath hot on your face as he worked your body until you were rocking against his hand, eager for release. Your sighs and moans were an easy indication that you were close.

“It’s time to cum Princess, cum for me”

Your mouth fell into a silent O as you came, your hands clinging to August’s strong forearm that sat across your torso, your body shaking as he held you tight and let you ride out your orgasm on his hand.

Eventually he pulled his hand away, and as you turned slightly you watched as he sucked two fingers into his mouth, sucking your slick juices from them;

“Delicious. Now, on the bed, on your hands and knees”

He swatted a light slap on your ass, to which you let out a little yelp before you did as he asked, settling on the high bed, your ass towards him.

“Now, let's have a good look here” he muttered to himself, smoothing his palms over your cheeks to pull them apart and take a look at the prize between them. Hooking your thong panties to one side he tenderly ran his finger through your folds and up to your ass, around the jewelled flared base before grasping it and giving it a little tug.

“Hmm, still tightly in there. How much lube did you use?”

“Just… Just a little bit”

He sucked in air through his teeth;

“Tut tut tut, No, with anything butt related you use a ton of lube. Copious amounts, it needs to be wetter than a slip and slide in a thunderstorm. Stay there.”

You heard him moving around the room before quickly returning to you, his warm hand on your ass again, this time carefully pulling your panties down until they sat around your thighs. The soft click of a capped bottle broke the silence before you felt a cold drip of something viscous land on your ass near to the plug, soon followed by the warm touch of his finger spreading the lube around the base of the plug;

“We’ll need to work the lube in around your little decoration Princess. No no, I can feel you tensing up again, relax…”

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one with something stuck in your ass”

“How do you know I haven't?”

You whipped your head around in shock, only to be greeted with August’s now tell tale smirk. Narrowing your gaze you glared at him;

“Kinky”

“Yup. Now get back into position”

He pressed a hand to your shoulder blades, pushing you down until your chest was resting on the comforter;

“Time to get you relaxed again”

With your vision now obscured you could only feel what he was doing, the soft furnishings muting his movements, so you were shocked when you felt something warm and wet slide through your folds, followed by the rough brush of facial hair against your labia;

“Oh oooh god”

August set off at a brisk pace, his tongue working against your cunt to the point you barely noticed his fingers working around the plug, only realising something was amiss when you felt the definite stretch of a finger sliding in alongside the plug. The movement was a foreign feeling, but as his tongue delved further into your soaked hole you started to enjoy the feeling, your moans and sighs increasing until you could feel the start of an orgasm building in the pit of your stomach;

“Please… please, so good, more… please August…”

He didn’t reply, one hand now firmly gripped on your hip whilst the other worked at the plug, his mouth all but buried in your pussy until you came with a cry of his name, shuddering as your body was rocked with a strong orgasm, cumming on his face until you slumped forwards and lay twitching on the soft covers of his bed.

As the world came back into focus you saw August moving at the foot of the bed, a soft cloth in his hand before he pressed it to your buttocks;

“Sorry, there was a bit more lube than we needed”

It took a couple of seconds to register, but when it did your eyes went wide and you stretched a hand to your ass, only to find the unwanted decoration now missing from its prison;

“You got the plug out!”

“Hmmm mmm” he hummed, looking down at you as your hands explored your naked below the waist body, running his own hand over the obscene bulge now in his pants. In a moment of confidence you moved forward, resting carefully on the edge of the bed before reaching a hand out to palm over the bulge alongside his own much larger hand;

“I should thank you for your help” you said coyly, looking up through your lashes as you moved to tug the zipper down.

August cupped your chin;

“Do you think you can handle me? You ever been with an older man?”

“Dude, you’re seven years old, eight at most depending on what month”

He just smirked at your response, instead picking you up and softly tossing you on to his bed;

“Lets apart, I want to see that pussy”

You did as he asked as he stripped, and you were transfixed by his body. Thick with muscle his chest was covered in a thick layer of hair that ran down to his stomach and dick. Speaking of which he was rock hard and girthy, patterned with veins. You licked your lips as you watched him roll a condom down before climbing into the bed.

He kissed his way up your body before settling between your thighs, pressing a kiss to your lips before he suddenly turned the pair of you so you were on top and straddling his stomach;

“You’re gonna show me just how much of a big girl you are Princess, I’m gonna let you ride me, see how much of me you can take”

“You want me to…?! Oh god…”

Pushing yourself up on your knees you took a deep breath and looked down at the monster standing proud beneath you. Reaching out to hold it you positioned him at your entrance before pushing down, feeling him breach your body. Resting the palms of your hands on his stomach you shut your eyes and rocked up and down a little, easing your way a little further each time until you heard him grunt;

“Doing well Princess”

In a moment of bravery - or perhaps stupidity - you rose and then fell all the way, taking him as deep as you could. Both of you let out curse words as your bodies grew accustomed to the size and tightness, trembling as you urged your body to relax until you were confident enough to start rocking your hips just a little.

“You’re so big August…” you praised, riding him with your eyes closed so you could focus on the stretch and pull every time.

He didn’t respond, and when you opened your eyes you saw his were wide open, jaw slack as he watched where your bodies were joined;

“Your cunt looks so perfect stretching around me. I know you’re struggling to take me, you can do it… ride me Princess”

With renewed vigour and confidence you rode him like he was a pony ride at your 10th birthday, grinding your hips down so your clit rubbed against the root of his shaft, bringing you closer to another orgasm. You felt his hand grip your thighs then hips, pulling you down to meet his upwards thrusts and you could tell he was getting close. You quickly moved your hand to your pussy, rubbing your clit;

“Cum for me August, let me feel you inside me. You needn’t have worn the condom, i’m on the pill and tested…”

He suddenly pushed you up, pulling the condom off and tossing it aside before pulling you straight back down again onto his cock. The groan you both let out as you felt skin on skin filled the room;

“Oh fuck, i’m gonna cum, your cunt feels too good”

Your orgasm surged through you as you felt August filling you with his creamy seed, pumping you full as you trembled around him. As your throes of passion subsided you collapsed on his chest, sated and full.

“It was so good of you to show my girl how to stop that hacker getting into her phone” you Dad said, clapping a hand over August’s shoulder as he stood in your parents kitchen.

After what had happened you’d had to think of an excuse as your parents had seen you crossing the snowy lawn to which you’d had to come up with something quick as an excuse. That was how you found yourself standing in your parents kitchen listen to August make up a very plausible scenario, whilst his cum slowly dripped down your inner thigh.

“Hey, did she tell you she got a paid internship?” your Dad’s question to August pulled you out of your daze.

“No, where is that then?” August asked animatedly

“Some big law firm in the city”

“Oh really?”

“Where was it sweetie?” your Dad pushed

“Syverson, Marshall & Walker Associates”

“Ohhh really…” August nodded, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth

Your Dad missed the expression on August’s face, wrapping his arm around your shoulders;

“Yup, my little girl is all grown up now, playing with the big boys”

August smiled;

“Sounds like a dream come true”

You were completely unaware of just who your bosses come Monday would be.

#august walker #August Walker x Reader #DBF August Walker #Age Gap Smut #Henry Cavill

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oliviaischillin1204 · 3 months ago

Text

tickletober day 25- “new discovery”

word count: 1,729 words

i think this actually started as a prompt for tickletober 2020 (lmfAooooo) so i’m glad i could finish it now!!

Janus sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in as many minutes. He’d been a having a moral conundrum, and he’d only recently figured out how to go about solving it. Or, well, hopefully solving it. Maybe the solution he’d come up with would make everything worse instead. That’s always a possibility.

As if he could read Janus’ mind, Janus’ phone buzzed with another text from Patton. He stole a quick glance at the kitchen doorway before tapping the screen.

Patton: Have U told him yet???

Janus: u know he doesn’t wake up before noon

Patton: LOL!

Patton: Well, Jan The Man, whatever happens, I got UR back!

Patton: high_five.gif

Patton: fist_bump.gif

Patton: puppy_saying_yeah.gif

Janus: ,,,,, thank u patton

Janus sighed yet again-- but this time his sigh was followed by a matching yawn from behind him.

He slammed his phone down on the table and whirled around. “Good morning!” Fuck, he was never that positive. He had to dial it back. “You look like shit.” Well. That’s one way of doing it.

Luckily, Virgil either didn’t notice or didn’t care to comment on Janus’ jumpy behavior-- he yawned again and made a beeline for the coffee pot, where Janus had graciously prepared another pot just in time for Virgil’s late rise.

“You’re thinking too loud,” he muttered as he poured his coffee. “Talk or shut your brain up.”

Janus snorted. Well, if Virgil didn’t care about being indelicate, then Janus sure wouldn’t.

“I found your blog.”

Virgil sighed, not looking up as his scooped a copious amount of sugar into the mug. “Yes, I remember, I got drunk enough to show my 2013 era Tumblr to Roman, and he got drunk enough to send it to the group chat. Cool reminder.”

“Not that one-- although your Superwholock fic was surprisingly well written,” Janus said. “I found... another blog. Of yours.”

“My anime blog?” Virgil asked. “Don’t you already follow that one?”

“Another blog,” Janus hissed. “A blog you haven’t told us about.”

With his mug only an inch away from his mouth, Virgil froze.

It was enough to tell Janus everything he needed to know.

“I don’t have any other blogs,” Virgil said, quickly bringing the mug up to his face and taking a sip.

“Virgil. Please don’t insult me by lying so boldly in my face.”

“Who’s lying?” he replied. “Not me. I’m standing up, not lying... down, that is-- oh, dad joke, ha! Speaking of which I think I’m supposed to be meeting Patton for, uh, brunch, right now--”

He darted out of the room, nearly sloshing his coffee in his haste. Janus heard his bedroom door slam shut, and he sighed.

Well, he wasn’t going to sit around and let Virgil stew in his own nerves. He got up from the table and moved to the hallway, coming to a stop right in front of Virgil’s bedroom door. He heard no movement coming from inside, so he figured Virgil was probably frozen in panic as he thought about what Janus had said.

“I’m not going to make fun of you,” Janus said bluntly through the door. “Or tell anyone. Patton knows I had something important to tell you, but I made absolutely no references to having found a secret of yours at all. It’s just me.”

He knew that still probably wasn’t overly comforting-- Janus was, admittedly, crafty and manipulative, and he often used information as leverage to get what he wanted. But given how genuinely upset Virgil seemed to be at the mere idea that his secret blog had been found out, Janus wanted to prove that he really wasn’t going to tell anyone. And unfortunately, he knew exactly what he had to do to prove it.

“A secret for a secret, an eye for an eye,” he continued, steeling his nerves. “Because, honestly, you... aren’t the only person in this household with... that specific kind of... interest.”

Again, he heard no noise, but Janus could picture the way Virgil’s face probably shifted from blind panic to slight confusion. Janus sighed.

“How do you think I found your tickle blog in the first place?” he asked drily.

Janus ignored the urge to cringe as he said the word aloud-- this conversation was not about his embarrassing secret interests, thank you, it was about Virgil’s. He didn’t have the chance to ponder on that further, because suddenly the door clicked open in front of him, as if Virgil had opened it and hurried away.

He stepped in, and there was Virgil on his bed, lying on his stomach with his face buried in his pillow.

“You can block me if you want,” Janus said, moving to perch on the edge of the mattress. “Just let me type in my URL so you don’t see it.”

“How much did you see?” Virgil asked instead, voice muffled and defeated.

“About ten posts,” Janus said. “And no, you didn’t accidentally doxx yourself in any way. I’m just extremely clever.”

Virgil didn’t respond. At least he didn’t seem to be actively panicking, just humiliated. Janus himself was starting to feel a bit warm; he’d seen some... rather interesting posts before he’d realized whose blog he was looking at. Apparently he and Virgil had more in common than he’d realized.

“Virgil, I’m not going to bullshit you,” he said quickly, before his nerve was lost. “This sucks, and if it’d happened to me I’d break your computer in half, so I can imagine how you are feeling right now. But the fact of the matter is that we are both switches and we are home alone, and if you consent I would very much like to tickle you right now.”

Finally Virgil whipped around, eyes catching Janus’ with a wild look.

“What?” he squawked, voice cracking.

“Or you tickle me,” Janus said. “I’m really not picky.”

“This-- this is-- Janus.”

“Virgil,” Janus said firmly. “Take your pick, lee or ler?”

“I’m gonna have a fucking heart attack,” Virgil hissed. Janus could practically feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.

“I’m trying to avoid an outcome like that,” Janus said through gritted teeth. “By being disgustingly open about what I want, in the hopes that we can bypass the anxiety and awkwardness and humiiation by treating this all as if it’s perfectly normal.”

Silence hung over the room for a moment as Virgil took in the words. He looked down at his hands, fiddling with the blanket.

“I don’t know...”

Janus leaned in to catch Virgil’s mumble. Okay, that’s not a complete no. He could work with that.

“What don’t you know?” he asked with as much patience as he could muster.

Virgil continued to fiddle for a few seconds before he spoke. “Like, right now...?”

“No time like the present,” Janus replied. “Of course, we can wait if you’re not comfortable right now. Then again, I wonder how it would feel to wait in this room knowing that I’m right across the hall, ready to tickle you.”

He smirked when Virgil’s eyes snapped up towards him, a blazing blush crowning his face. “Janus!”

“What? You know I’m right. I could leave this room right now, but all your little fantasies in your head about what I could do to you would feel so delightfully real-- it’d be like I was still here.”

Nothing came out of Virgil’s mouth but a strain of choked noises. Belatedly, he covered his face with his hands. “Come on--”

“I mean, I really didn’t look very far through your blog before. I still have so many questions about this little sensitivity of yours.”

Now Virgil shoved his face back into his pillow, probably with the goal of hiding the soft whines that were now coming out of his mouth. It didn’t work.

“But, of course,” Janus continued, “I can’t touch you until you agree. You won’t get one little tickle from me until I hear you say so out loud.”

Virgil went silent for so long Janus considered checking that he hadn’t suffocated, but finally a muffled mutter came from his pillow that sounded suspiciously like the word please.

“Hm?” Janus said, because despite everything he wasn’t going to be too nice to Virgil. “I couldn’t quite catch that. You’ll have to speak up.”

More muttering, this time sounding closer to cursing, came from the pillow. Janus enjoyed drawing things out as much as the next ler, but he was getting pretty antsy. How to draw Virgil out?

Suddenly his mind flashed with a post he’d remembered seeing; a post that had also been reblogged by Virgil, with a few choice tags that made him think this could be a good idea.

“Virgil,” he asked softly. “How about you show me where you want to be tickled?”

And there it was; there was Virgil’s desperate squealing whine, his back arching just slightly, legs suddenly fidgeting behind him, and the tips of his ears burning red through his dark hair. Janus hit the nail on the head.

It only took a few more seconds for Virgil to roll over; his hands twitched, and he refused to look Janus in the face, but finally he managed to pull his t-shirt up over his stomach before shoving his face into his hands again.

Janus smirked. “I thought so.” He let one hand, gentle and wiggly, hover right above Virgil’s tummy. “When you want me to switch, I’ll just need you to pick another lovely little spot for me to tickle instead. One that’s just as ticklish, just so I know I’m getting a fair deal. You can do that, right?”

Virgil’s whine only last half a second this time, before it was replaced with a startled burst of frantic giggles as Janus began scratching all ten fingers around his sensitive tummy and sides. He curled up, and wiggled back and forth, and kicked his legs like there was no tomorrow, but his hands stayed over his eyes, his shirt stayed halfway up his torso, and he stayed right on the mattress under Janus’ lovely fingers.

“Oh, very good,” Janus cooed. His mind was already alight with all of the other posts he’d seen on Virgil’s blog, as well as things he’d found on his own that he was just so interested in trying. “You’re doing very well, Virgil. I think we’re going to have so much fun.”

#my posts #my writing #tickling #tickle fic #tickletober 2024 #augtickletober2024 #tt24 #sanders sides tickling #lee!virgil #ler!janus

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creamecafe · 6 months ago

Note

Hii!! Can you do one for Stephen where he found out he and the reader are married in several words thanks to America, and the two of you are pining for each other until he accidentally reveals he’s truly in love with you? Thank you!! <33

I Know I'd Go Back to You

Summary: Stephen has always loved you and you with him from the start. But you both ended things on short notice. Until America reveals you both are together in different worlds in the multiverse, will Stephen take the risk to let it happen in his universe?

Pairing: Stephen Strange x GN!Reader

Word Count: ???

Warnings: none just fluff, pining, a bit of angst, flashbacks, heartbreak, deja vu to palmerstrange 🥲

Author's Note: I'm literally so sorry @smokeywhalee that this literally almost took 2 years. But here it is, FINALLYY! Hope you enjoy

Read on Wattpad and AO3 here

Life was normal for neurosurgeon, Doctor Stephen Strange and for you too. You both met in college in New York, he was studying to be a doctor and you were studying to be a lawyer.

Despite your guys' different classes times and different career choices, both of you had a unexplainable attraction to each other. You started off as friends, Stephen would walk you to your class or you would walk out during the four seasons.

But both of you knew you wanted something more. It wasn't until in March 2013 that Stephen asked you to be his partner. He was a nervous wreck, worried that he would ruin the friendship, you both have. But you said yes. Now being with you is the best thing to happen and to occupy his life happily besides being a neurosurgeon.

You would wait for him after work to drive home and spend time together. He would also love to take you on expensive and fancy dates, because he always wanted the best for you. Life was going great for the both of you.

Until February 2, 2016 came. The day of Stephen got into a car crash. You were waiting for him in the restaurant with the reservation you guys both made 5 months in advance.

10 minutes had passed and you started to become worried. You knew he wasn't the type of guy to stood you up or leave you hanging. It was until you got a call from the hospital Stephen works at. You picked it up

"Hello?" Your voice shaking nervousily

"Hello, is this Y/N?"

"Yes it is"

"I'm sorry to inform you that Stephen Strange has been in a car crash and is in critical need."

Your heart stopped. You couldn't believe this was happening. Stephen gotten into a car crash.

"Oh-oh my God. Is he ok?" Your voice got higher and shaking even more

"We're trying to take care of him right now and get him under care as immediate as possible."

"I'm on my way, please tell him that."

"Will do, sorry to tell you the news."

Grabbing your coat, you wasted no time leaving the restaurant. You explained to the waitress you have to leave to a emergency. You called out a taxi and asked to go to Metropolitan General Hospital."

7 minutes passed with traffic in the way. You ran to the front desk and asked to see Stephen Strange, saying you were his partner. The lady in the front told you that he's in surgery and won't be conscious in another day or two. You were willing to wait those days, just to make sure he was still alive. You took a seat in the waiting room, hoping and praying Stephen would be ok. The anxiety was eating away of how bad his condition could be. Soon enough, you fell asleep until the next day.

You take a look at your phone and see it's 5am of February 3, 2016. You go to buy yourself a snack fron the vending machine as you missed your dinner from the restaurant you and Stephen were supposed to be. You waited and bought 2 more snacks to keep yourself awake.

"Y/N L/N?"

Your head raised to who was calling you.

"Y/N L/N?"

Ahead of you see a lady in a white coat and scrubs with a clipboard call your name.

"That's me." You raise your hand.

"You can see Stephen now."

Your heart beat gladly. It must be a sign he's still alive, probably the not best condition but you're glad he's still alive.

You go to him room and see him in bed. His right eye is swollen and both of his hand are raised up supported by strings and 11 stainless steel pins to support his nerves. He was sleeping. You quietly thanked the nurse.

You sat by him and waited till he woke up. 25 minutes have passed and he did.

You held his shoulder gently until he was fully conscious.

"Hey, hey. It's me Y/N. It's going to be ok."

Stephen looks at you and looks at his hands.

"What did they do?"

You explained everything that the doctor told you and how long he was in surgery, the same time you waited for him to make sure he was well.

He repeated the same words "What they did do?" Can't believing what his eyes are seeing.

The next past few days you stayed by his side to make sure he was well. You were by his side in therapy, helped him shaved supporting him along the way.

But his attitude didn't change of bitter he had become. And he definitely didn't show appreciation for you either. You went into his apartment to drop off the groceries you bought for him. He was upset due to a meeting regarding a procedure in Tokyo. He was going on he needs a loan of at least $200,000.

You tried to tell him it's best for him to stop as this was having so much control over him, especially his condition. He explains that no matter how much therapy he receives, he's not getting any better, can't get back to the way he was before.

You explain to him that there other things that can give his life meaning.

"Like what? Like you?" He snapped back at you.

You were shocked. He never spoken to you in a matter like this before. No matter how cocky he could be, he knew better than to talk to you in a way that he knew could hurt you.

"This is the part where you apologize."

"This is the part where you leave."

That's when it hit you, he really changed. He wasn't the same boy who would walk you to class or always compliment your outfits. He was still Stephen, but not the Stephen you have loved for 3 years.

You try to talk to him, but he still had this fire coming out of his voice, like daggers stabbing.

"You just care so much, don't you?" Stephen yelled.

"Goodbye Stephen." You went ran out the door and slammed it behind you. You went to your car and started driving to your place. But you couldn't hold it in anymore. You were crying, sobbing. You didn't want things to end this way, but you can't bear to see Stephen this way or the way hes treating you.

A year pass and you're going on in your normal life. That's when Stephen makes a portal to where you are. You are scared and shocked. But also confused to what he's wearing. He apologizes everything to you and the way he treated you. You accept it but didn't feel ready to get back with him. Stephen accepts and leaves you be, taking on protecting the world as new priority. He's just at hurt as you a year ago with breaking up with you. But he knows he must move on.

In 2018 the blip happens and you disappear, so does Stephen Strange. 5 years later you come back and you try to get your life back to normal. Stephen tried to do the same but couldn't stop thinking of you still.

Later on, he meets a teenage girl named America Chavez that can travel through the multiverse.

With different versions of Stephen around the multiverse, he didn't realize the possiblity of still being with you.

"How's Y/N?" America asked.

"They're good. Happy. They're happy." Shaking, Stephen says, now thinking about you.

"I can imagine. They're happy with you."

"Uh, well we're not together. We used to be. We broke up 8 years ago. I disappeared due to the snap and it felt like we ended things on short notice."

"What? You both are not together in this universe?"

He was confused about what America meant by that. "Together? In this universe?"

"What do you mean this universe?"

"Every Stephen I know there with Y/N. You both are together. Married. It always felt to me no matter what universe it was, you always were meant to be together. And nothing could stop that."

He had to stop and think for a moment. Every universe he's with you?

"I'm with Y/N in every universe?

"Don't you love Y/N?"

"I do. But it was 8 years ago, almost a decade. They most likely moved on..."

"You'll never know if you don't tell them. America interrupts. "In a million ways it can go where you are together, why not risk one chance. Tell them how you feel."

He thought about it. Being with you is the only thing that can help him be at ease. Making amends with you is something he doesn't want to stop doing.

He practices of how he's going to talk to you, what he will say. Walking back and forth, he's trying to think of the right words.

"Don't overthink it. Just talk naturally, say how you really feel."

"I don't know if I can. What if they already moved on?"

"You'll never know unless you tell them. Come on, I know you can do this."

Stephen takes America's word into his mind and try to come up what to say.

He spent the next few days going over of how he's going to approach you and he knew exactly what to say.

Until he thought he did until he saw you. He greteted you and you did the same. He was a stuttering mess with you

"Y/N-Y/N. I would like to tell-tell you something."

"Ok, what is it?"

This was it, he could tell you.

"I was thinking we could get coffee sometimes." He cursed himself in his head.

Why couldn't he say what he really wants to, to you?

"Uh sure, what day? Because this whole week and the next I'm kinda really busy."

"Tuesday?"

"Yeah that could work, oh wait I have a meeting"

"Friday then?"

"Friday, but could it be at 6pm because I have-"

"I love you Y/N."

You were stopped talking and were taken back.

"What?"

Oh no. This could be the perfect opportunity to tell her everything or mess up, or both.

"I tried to stop thinking about you, but I can't. And it's okay you don't feel the same way. I love you. I love you in every universe."

Stephen took a deep breath and waited for you to say something, anything. He knew he would mess it up and make it awkward quick.

That's when you kissed him. You wrapped your arms around his neck. He was taken back, but soon melted into the kiss and he wrapped his arms around you back.

"I can't, couldn't stop thinking about you either. I love you too Stephen." A tear goes down your cheek.

This made him happy, America was right all along. It looks like you guys were meant to be after all.

Taglist: @bitchy-bi-trash

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to heart, reblog, share, comment on what you think, and follow for more works! You can also find me on Wattpad and my other socials in my bio. Feedback is always much appreciated!

Have a great day/night or wherever you live around the world!

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lowkeyrobin · 7 months ago

Note

helloo !! i was wondering if u could write anything that has finn wolfhard and reader.

- 🗡️

ooo sure! thank you for requesting 🗡!! ; I just randomly thought of this somehow so hopefully this makes any sort of sense? idrk tbh I'm just trying to write something lol ; also ty for the message you sent!! I promise I saw it haha, I just deleted it because I was flustered and upset over a million things (guys if it involves any sort of politics don't comment even if you're right bc some rando will make it ab them and call you a brainwashed moron) but thank you, I appreciate it a lot 🫶🫶🫶

FINN WOLFHARD ; thrift shop

summary ; you go to a thrift shop with Finn because why not

warnings ; language

word count ; 474

masterlist

"What are you looking for?"

You shrug, flipping through CDs among the shelves, looking for anything you'd be interested in. He nods, looking through the records section with you.

You decided to hit up a random Goodwill you found while passing through the town, wanting to see if you could find anything good. He'd found a thin jacket, colored dark blue with white stripes, with small, white lettering on the front that spelled out certified guitar guy. It was only seven dollars, so he decided it was a need over a want.

He pulls out a few records, looking at the condition of the actual vinyls and the covers to see if the money was even worth it. You continue scanning through the CDs, looking for anything that would grab your eye. After no luck with the music search, you head back to the clothing section since Finn had begged you to. They had the heat, he said.

You couldn't doubt his comment after finding a one of a kind t-shirt though. It originated probably from 2013 or something, featuring a weird picture of MGK on the front, with neon red text that was 100% written by some parasocial fangirl.

Finn holds up his phone camera, snapping a picture of you holding the shirt to your chest, posing with it. He captions it "this Goodwill has the heat" before posting it to Instagram. You quietly laugh it off, searching for anything you'd actually wear.

You end up finding some good clothes, him as well. But there were definitely some honorable mentions. Some of those included a navy blue grandma-core shirt with a drawing of a sun and moon on it, colored a weird shade of yellow. Another pictured a SpongeBob meme, which nearly killed Finn, and you'd found a similar one to that, being a jacket with printed on fabric.

"Who donated their Temu order, guys?" You laugh, holding up the weird jacket and matching fake denim pants to show Finn.

"That's insanely disgusting." He smiles, looking away to not throw up at the sight of the hideous fast fashion.

You hang the two items back up, also not wanting to look at them. You fade into the random decor section, seeing the usual donation items. You cover your mouth to hide a smile before grabbing something, turning around to show Finn.

"Finn..."

"Oh my God"

"Who's wannabe biker mom died?"

"I don't know"

You hold up a little kitchen sign, reading something about motorcycles, guns, and Donald Trump, laughing as you put it back down, using a set of pots to cover it up.

You pose next to an old grandfather clock in the back corner, pointing up at it with an Instagram worthy smile. "Stranger Things who?"

"We're leaving"

"Damnit"

"What is that...?"

"A chair shaped like a banana"

"Okay, let's go."

#lowkeyrobin #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard #actor x reader #stranger things #🗡 anon

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blurryhowlett · 12 days ago

Text

The Hugh Jackman twitter drama involving a person named Dawn.

I don’t normally make post like this but I had read a bit about the topic, saw all the screen shots and basically I think I have enough context to make a post. Why am I making a post? I feel the need to just talk about the whole ridiculous situation and tumblr didn’t even upload my first post about it so now I have to restart. (Haha yay..) Anyways, I wanna start by saying that this fully grown woman is clearly struggling with delusions and mental health issues. As a person who battles with my own struggles, I’m trying to understand the situation through her eyes as well but the whole thing is so utterly ridiculous, it’s hard to feel bad for someone who had years to try to come to terms with the fact that this ‘Hugh Jackman’ she was talking to was never actually him.

For context, Dawn had apparently had some role play account and had been in some sort of group role play and that’s where she found ‘Hugh.’ She said the two of them clicked pretty easily and would talk nonstop. She said she didn’t think it was Hugh at first but her reason for starting to believe so is that he was really good at writing? Like writing scrips? I don’t know but the fact is, she believed it was him and fell in love. It’s a sad situation, many people get scammed (if you can call this a scam since the only thing she lost was her role play) but this took place in 2013 and is now coming forward with a whole google doc with many screen shots and a whole essay about how this was him. I’ll make a separate post to show more screen shots since apparently tumblr freaks out when you have too many pictures in one post. (Learned that the hard way.) I’m made to believe that with the new rise of the Hugh and Sutton drama had triggered her (and frankly, a lot of other people too) and had decided to ‘call him out.’

Screen shots here:

This is her going on a whole rampage and we only get one post of her maybe thinking about how it might’ve not been real but I think that’s as close as we are gonna get to her facing reality. I do think it’s really messed up to talk about his ‘dick measurements’ and claim it as facts and then put it in your bio. I do think it was perfectly fine to tell her the truth and call her out on her problematic behavior because having mental health issues doesn’t excuse toxic actions/behavior. I think her going private on twitter was a good thing and maybe it’s time for her to drop this and finally let it go. She tries to grasp at straws by saying the colors he wore was because of her, that a lot of pictures of him smiling at his phone or being on his phone was because of her. The whole thing is sad when you look at it from the point of view of a woman who seemed to be very desperate for love. Or.. you can look at it how a lot of people are, that the whole thing is not only ridiculous- but utterly funny. And I’m serious, their role play is mostly sexual and even if I don’t know Hugh personally- I don’t think he talks like that and I don’t think this man comes home every night to log into a role play account about himself to do sex role plays. I mean- I’m not gonna judge but it’s highly unlikely.

This woman definitely got clowned on, bullied and all and while I don’t condone bullying- I also don’t like her actions and her outburst as she targets Hugh when it wasn’t even him in the first place.

I do think she needs a serious wake up call as this level of obsession is truly unhealthy. Again, I’ll make a separate post to show the screen shots of their role play and conversations. Thanks to whoever read this!

#logan howlett #wolverine #james logan howlett #deadpool and wolverine #hugh jackman #drama #twitter

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gguk-n · 5 months ago

Text

Max Unravelled

Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Max accidentally made an account on google plus in 2013. He came across a poetry page and enjoyed reading them. He ends up friends with the poet. He loved the normalcy she brought to his life. He didn't realise when the comfort he felt for her turned into love.

{Max's POV}

2013

I was searching for something on my gmail account when a pop up for google plus came through; without much thought I clicked on it. Some how, I'm yet to figure that out, I ended up with a google plus account. One of the few accounts I got recommended was a poetry and story account. They wrote very eloquently; I could feel the emotions in every word. I started reading all their posts in my spare time and even commenting on the ones I liked. I found my self constantly checking back to their page to see if they posted something. Their poetry was relatable and understandable. I hope they always have a good day since their words always pick me up when I'm down.

The poet I had been enjoying so much is a girl, and her name is Y/N. She's around my age; I guess that's why I related to her work so much. We spoke for the first time ever on her birthday. She made a post about it being her birthday so I wished her. She was sad about not being able to enjoy her birthday, I felt bad for her so we talked for a while until dad called me to practise. That was the start of our friendship. We ended up talking on google plus a lot. We shared the same sense of humour and best of all, she didn't know about racing. It was like a breath of fresh air to not talk about racing. She doesn't even seem interested in it; so I can live as Max for a while now.

My birthday was shit but talking to her made everything better. I can't believe I got excited about talking to someone and that someone made me feel good even on one of my shittiest days. She's one of the nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to. I really do wanna talk to her on phone, typing everything I want to say out feels tedious.

2014

I've gotten busier since this year with Formula 3. We barely get to talk anymore. She did send me her number and we chat on Whatsapp whenever we can. But obviously it is not the same. I've suggested talking on call a few time and she finally agreed; I just need to find the perfect time to get away from everything to talk to her. I felt so nervous to talk to her for some reason, what if she thought I was weird and didn't enjoy talking to me? What if she heard me and decided I wasn't fun? What if we had nothing to talk about? I called her while sitting in my driver's room, she picked up quite quickly after 2 rings to be exact.

Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Why would I say that? That sounds so fucking creepy, I face palmed myself so hard. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. She thinks I have a nice voice, do I? Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. I could hear people outside the driver's room. I quickly locked the door before answering her question. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! Did she just call me her best friend? I've never had a best friend before.

We ended up talking on calls a lot more. I would have her contact ringer saved with a separate ringtone so that I would know to answer it. She usually called at reasonable times, where ever I travelled as if she knew my schedule.

2015

I got signed with RedBull Racing's junior team, making me the youngest driver. It was such a surreal feeling. But this also meant I couldn't talk to Y/N as much as I wished I could. Training and the races kept me very busy. But she was very understanding and would always welcome me back, no matter how long I was gone for.

2021

The first time I'm regretting not telling what I do to Y/N was today when I won my first World Championship. I was surrounded by my team, my girlfriend and my family as I got out of the car after I finished P1 at Abu Dhabi but it felt strange; like I was missing someone. I wish I could share this win, the biggest in my life yet, with the person who makes me feel so special yet so myself.

When I asked her about Formula One, she didn't know about, she didn't even know the prominent figures. So, I wasn't as worried about her finding out but I did worry now; since my win was controversial according to the media. However, she never asked. Was she really unaware or playing dumb? I wasn't sure if I should be grateful I get to be just Max or sad that I can't share a huge part of my life with my best friend.

2023

Y/N and I have been friends for the past 10 years. Time really flies. I've gotten a lot better at balancing my personal and work life. Y/N is my well kept secret; like I'm the only one who knows her. She moved out for college and we've only video called since. She is still funny and still writes. I think it's so cool of her to stay passionate about what she loves and keeping at it. She loves my cats more than I love them sometimes, she get's so excited when I send pictures of them. She says they cheer her up and that Jimmy and Sassy are her virtual pets. They loved her too honestly, they would always recognise when she was on call and jump into my lap or the phone to see or hear her. She still doesn't know what I did for a living; we've kept that a 'secret' you could say. But really I just didn't know how to tell her I was a Formula One driver and a 2 time World Champion.

Today was like any other day, I hadn't spoken to Y/N at all. Whenever I called her, I would usually close/lock the door depending on who was at home. My girlfriend didn't know about Y/N. I didn't even know how to bring it up, honestly. I sat down on my SimRacing chair after I switched the livestream off. Her phone rang for a few times and then stopped ringing but she didn't answer the call. I tried again thinking maybe she was busy or didn't hear it. I called a couple times before texting her; no reply. I was freaking out. This was the first time in 10 years that she hasn't answered my calls. She won't even reply to my messages. I found myself pacing around the house. The door to the room opened to my girlfriend's daughter standing in front of me, "Maxie, why are you walking in circles?" She asked after observing me for sometime. "It's nothing" I said, trying to calm myself down more than give a reply to her question. All these horrible thoughts swirled through my mind; what if she was in an accident and no one knows? What if she got robbed? What if she hurt herself and can't get help? What was I supposed to do? I didn't even know where she lived. I just couldn't think straight. My hair was a mess with how much I was running my fingers through it, a few stands coming along when I almost pulled them out of frustration.

After 7 hours, she replied to my text. I had almost given up hope, but she said that she was fine and that her phone was about to die. I felt relieved knowing that she was ok. But the text was so out of character for her. I texted her everyday after that in hope of talking to her. We always spoke everyday and it had been years since we didn't speak for so long. Almost every text was left on delivered. I had a race this weekend which I won and went out to celebrate with everyone because they wanted me to tag along. I didn't see the text Y/N sent me a while after the race since I was at the club. I only saw it when I got home. As soon as I saw it, I called her. She answered after a few rings.

Max- Schat, how have you been? Haven't heard a word from you in days. You could clearly hear the worry in my voice. Y/N- I've been busy, school year ending and stuff. Why didn't you sleep yet? Max- You know my sleep schedule is non existent. Y/N- Yeah, I guess I do. What did she mean by that? Her voice seemed hoarse, was she sick?Y/N- You know how I do freelance editing Max- You've told me about it Y/N- The latest author I'm working with is a sports author. I was hoping you could help me since you are a walking encycylopedia. Max- sure schat, but what's up with you? You know I'm always there for you Y/N- Yeah it nothing, just stressed. Max- Take off, you deserve it I wish she took care of herself instead of working so hard without breaks. Y/N- The summer break is here soon, I'll be fine. So about that author... Max-Yeah, what sport does she write for? Y/N- Formula One. I don't really like reading lengthy articles and I'm sure one article wouldn't do a sport any justice. I felt the ground slip from under my feet. My palms had gotten sweaty suddenly. Max- You did not go through google yet, right? (I stammered out) Y/N- Oh no, what do you take me for? I got excited to learn about something new. Do you know who the reigning champion is? I felt like I was about to lose everything. I didn't know what to say, my mouth was dry. No matter what I said, I don't think I could fix this situation. Y/N- Some dude named Max Verstappen. You guys share the same first name. He has 2 cats too; named Jimmy and Sassy, who look exactly like your bengals. I mean he even looks like you, with horrible sleep schedule just like you. He even sounds like you. There was horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and my lungs felt like there was no air in them. Watching her tear up was the worst feeling.

Max- Schatje, I can explain. Y/N- You don't have to Max. I never asked you what you did. You don't have to explain anything. Max- I wanted to tell you, it just never came up in conversation. Y/N- I get it, it's difficult to tell your friend who has amounted to nothing that you are the World Driver's Champion, best of the best in Formula One. Max- Y/N, it's nothing like that. You're great, you're kind, you're funny. She laughed, but that stung my heart for the first time when her laugh was my favourite sound in the world. Y/N- Those are character traits I possess, they don't describe my career goals or achievements. I know I work 2 jobs to stay afloat while you make millions, I know I wish I was an author and not their editor, I know you probably thought I was too stupid to understand your rich and fancy world. Max- No, no, you're so talented. I've read your work and I'm sure the right publication will pick your work up. Y/N- I got rejected for the sixth time today. All of this is fine except that you lied to me about being single while having a girlfriend for years and having the happy family you dreamt off. You didn't have to introduce me to her; not like my boyfriends met you. But it would've been nice if I knew. Max- It just never came up. (I held my head in shame) Y/N- I...we joked about setting you up with someone all the time. Please don't. I get it, we didn't tell each other about work goals or what we did as a job but personal life; I literally told you about every guy I've ever been with. I felt bad telling you thinking you were single. I feel stupid right now. I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears but I couldn't. Max- I'm sorry,Y/N. I promise I won't hide anything anymore. Please, don't cry. Y/N- My name is Y/N Y/L/N. I majored in literature in Uni and now work as a primary school teacher and freelance editor. I'm trying to get my book published soon. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 months ago. This fucking hurt, everything she said and the way she said it. Max- Please don't do this. Y/N- I believe at least one of us should be honest. Max- Let me fix this. Y/N- Don't worry. There's nothing to fix. Max- Please don't say that. You mean a lot me. (I felt tears in my eyes.) Y/N- Me too. That's why, I need time. I'll talk to you when I'm ready. Max- Please, I can't lose you. I felt like my world was crashing. Y/N- You won't. I'll always be there for you. I just need time. Take care Max I was crying as she said it. Max- Bye, take care Y/N. I'll always be here. And the screen blacked out, I could see my reflection on the screen, tears streaming down my face.

After I was able to clear my head I texted her telling her that I would always be there for her and I would like to clear up the misunderstanding when she's ready. I spent the next few months thinking about her. It was starting to affect my relationship. I couldn't really give my girlfriend time when my mind was occupied with thoughts of Y/N. When my girlfriend brought it up how we were growing apart; I had a fight with her. I don't know what came over me, but not talking to Y/N or not knowing what was up with her was making it very difficult for me to focus on anything. The fighting became a constant after that. I didn't understand why she couldn't let me be. I missed my friend but she wouldn't get it.

I was SimRacing when Y/N's name popped up on my phone asking me to call her. I guess she was ready to talk it out. I really wished that this wasn't the end of our friendship. I really hoped that we could get over the misunderstanding and still be friends. I told the team I had some work and called her immediately. She answered like always; I waited for her to speak with baited breath. She started talking and we cleared everything up. I apologised for hiding the truth from her. I told her how much of a constant she was for me in my ever hectic life; how talking to her made everything better. She listened to me, I listened to her and then finally asked her to come to my home race. I wanted to meet her. I couldn't live knowing that I had the resources but didn't meet the one person that mattered to me the most. She was hesitant at first but I offered to get her the tickets and insisted on her joining me at the biggest race of the season for me and finally she agreed. I was over the moon. As soon as we ended the call, I sent her the tickets. I found myself counting down the days to the race for the first time.

I was waiting for her at the airport when she got here. My heart was beating very fast as I waited for her to come out. When I saw her; she was beautiful, shorter than I expected but she looked cute with her bag in one hand and a back pack on her shoulder, her hair in a low bun, a small smile graced her feature. I don't think I've noticed anyone with such detail ever before. Our conversation flowed easily. It didn't feel like it was the first time we were meeting. I dropped her at the hotel and went off to do media duty's at the paddock when I came back she was still asleep, traveling must've tired her out. She got dressed while I waited for her to get ready, even giving my 2 cents on what she should wear. She looked gorgeous, I couldn't help myself, staring at her. The black satin dress hugged her curves in all the right places. Her hair flowed down her back, the jewellery sparkling against her body. We went to have dinner at a fancy dutch restaurant. She loved the food especially the apple tart. The moan she let out as she devoured the dessert made blood rush downwards. I found my cheeks heating up, thankfully the whole place was dimly lit. We walked around for a while after the meal, she made fun of my name but I couldn't care less. I apologised and she accepted it and hugged me. Her arms were soft and the embrace warm. I found myself wrapping my arms around her, my face buried in her neck. I was scared I was gonna lose her, forever. I've never been scared to lose anything but a race until now and the thought of not having her in my life seemed scary. She consoled me and we headed back to the hotel.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful except for my girlfriend being pissed; she fought with about Y/N. I don't get what her problem is, she's just a friend I've known since forever. I'm just showing her around. I was giving interviews when I saw her talking to Lando, I saw them laughing along in the corner of my eye. It made me feel strange, there was this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I didn't like it. When I got back, Lando had left since it was his turn. She found Lando cute and it irked me, I was annoyed hearing her ask me to set her up with him. We got back to RedBull hospitality when my girlfriend asked me to talk to her, I left with her reluctantly leaving Y/N with Checo.

"Listen Max, I get it, she's your childhood friend and all, but it's so weird how she suddenly cropped up when I or for that matter any one knew nothing about her. People are saying stuff about us since she stepped on the paddock and the way you are dragging her along." my girlfriend spoke. "What are people saying? I will not stand any slander against her" I cut her off. She laughed dryly. "WOW, they are saying stuff about us, Max, us, that you are cheating on me with her. You've been so distant for months until a month ago, I didn't know what went wrong and you wouldn't talk either." she said running a hand through her hair. "It's nothing really. She just knows me as Max and not Max Verstappen and that's why I'm closer to her. Nothing more." I said. "It's pointless talking to you" she said turning around. "If we're done, I'm leaving, Y/N doesn't know anyone here except me." I said leaving for the door. She huffed before she followed me out. Y/N looked worried about what was going on between me and my girlfriend but I calmed her down and we spent the day together. She tagged along during quali too. I saw her praying before quali, it made my heart swell. I was starting pole and we spent the night watching a movie even though Y/N wanted me to rest before the race, I wanted to make the most of the little time we had.

Y/N hugged me before the race wishing me. I wanted to win so bad, I'd won here twice before but this was different. I wanted to win in front of her. I raced like a mad man and then I heard it. I crossed first and my happiness knew no bounds; knowing she was watching. I got out of the car and immediately ran to her; hugging her. It was cathartic. Y/N said my girlfriend looked annoyed, but I couldn't care less. I watched my girlfriend leave, annoyed. When I received the trophy at the top step of the podium knowing she was watching me from below made it so much more worth it. Y/N wanted to go out to celebrate my win and I wasn't one to say no. I went back to the hotel to get cleaned up and ready for the night.

I was greeted by my girlfriend in the room, it was dimly lit as she was sat at the corner of the bed with tears streaming down her face. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT MAX?" she screamed at me. "Am I a fucking joke? I let it slide, you said you were friends but the first person you go to after winning your race was her, what do you think people were whispering when you did that?" she said in between sobs. I didn't get what she was saying. "Do you like her?" she asked. "What? We're friends" I stated. She shook her head, "No, Max, you aren't. The way she looks at you is how I look at you. The way you look at her" She cried, "You've never looked at me like that" she lamented. "It's nothing like that" I began. "You should've respected me at the very least and broken up with me if you liked someone else, I'm not gonna be some girl's place holder till you can have her." she cried out. "You're not a place holder for her" I said. "Feels exactly like that" she said wiping her tears. I felt nothing my 2 year long relationship might be ending and I didn't care. I didn't even try to correct her, did I really like her? Was Y/N really more important to me? "We're through Verstappen, if you can't even fight for us, I'm not about to fight for us" she sighed dejected. I walked towards the bathroom to wash up while she packed up to leave. When I got out she was gone. I went to pick Y/N up.

She kept asking me about my girlfriend but I never told her that we broke up. I didn't want her to feel responsible for my decision. At the club, she got close to everyone pretty quickly. She was unstoppable, downing one drink after another. I hadn't touched alcohol since I was driving. The others kept handing her drinks much to my dismay. She asked me to come dance with her but I had the others to look after too. She was busy dancing surrounded by too many guys, one of them going as far as to touch her and grind against her. All I saw was red, I bid the guys good bye and stormed the dance floor to drag a reluctant Y/N with me; I ended up carrying her out on my shoulder. She wasn't very happy, screaming and hitting me till I put her down. She puked as soon as I put her down and joked about missing my expensive car, I didn't really mind if she hadn't since she was more important than the car. I got her medicine and left them at her side after putting her to bed.

We spent the next few days after the race sight seeing. Y/N brought up my girlfriend a few time and I ended up avoiding her. When we were cuddling while watching Barbie I felt my heart beating out of my chest as she scooted closer to grab tissue. When her hand brushed against my skin, it burnt and a weird feeling erupted in my chest. She seemed completely unaware of how she was making me feel. We fell asleep on the couch that night.

I wasn't able to avoid the girlfriend question any longer and told her that we broke up without making any eye contact on the way to drop her to the airport. My eyes stung and there was a lump in my throat; I wasn't sure it was because of my girlfriend or Y/N. I bid her farewell, she would turn back towards me to wave after every few steps; my eyes were blurry after sometime trying to prevent the tears from falling. I ended up crying after she left.

All the races after, I ended up going shopping after or before every race to collect some trinkets or stuff that was special to that place and mailing it to her with small notes attached. She would graciously open them in front of me on video call; the smile she gave me the first time she received was unparalleled. It made my stomach turn over. I wanted to make her smile every chance I got. That's how I ended up sending her a package after every race from every country until I got reprimanded by her for the excessive amount of gifts. She asked me not to send one after every race and stick to one or two in total; I was forced to agree to that request.

We were planning on spending Christmas and New Year together; she wanted to leave after Christmas but I was able to convince her to stay until I had to leave for pre-season training. I couldn't wait for the season to end and to spend the year end with Y/N. We celebrated me winning the championship on video call; even though I had hoped she could be present in person but it wasn't possible with her schedule. This championship felt better than the last two since I was able to celebrate it with her. 2021 me wouldn't believe me right now.

Y/N flew in as soon as winter break started for her. I had cleaned up the house as much as possible. I had told my cats about Y/N visiting who seemed excited. I picked her up from the airport and when we got home the cats were very excited to meet her; a lot more receptive than the other guests I've had over. We spent the next few days going to places and the Monaco GP circuit. She cribbed about walking the entire time we walked the path. It made me laugh.

The night before Christmas we fell asleep on the couch cuddling; I hadn't slept this well in a very long time. When I woke up, Y/N was no where to be seen. I sat up waiting for her to return when she came back, she looked so cute in her jumper and shorts with her hair a mess. We opened up presents after some time. She had gotten me a Sid plushie, an ugly sweater and perfume. I got her a Formula One book with my face, a coffee mug and a pendant. I wanted to get her more stuff but I was sure she would make me return it if she saw every thing. I think the house would be over run with the amount of stuff I wanted to get her. Then she brought the matching sweater she got with me; I put it on immediately. I wanted to match with her all the time. We had a bit of back and forth on the dinner but agreed on Turkish kabab.

New Year came too quickly, which meant Y/N would be leaving soon. We went clubbing on New Year eve. She didn't drink like the last time we were at the club but made friends with some of the guys there. Having a social butterfly for a friend was a bad idea. We counted the time down to midnight as the clock struck 12 and I turned towards her to celebrate I saw she was kissing one of the guys she had befriended when we entered. If the club was quite you could hear my heart shatter. That's when I realised that all these weird feeling and all the times I couldn't stop thinking about her was because I liked her, no scratch that, I loved her. I felt my heart constrict when she turned towards me and hugged me later. I didn't want to talk about it, this would ruin our friendship.

All I could think about was how it felt to watch her kiss another man. I hated it, the worst feeling, worse than DNFing or not winning. I hated knowing another man could touch her and feel her. I wasn't even sure how to bring it up since what were we if not just friends. I put myself into training for the upcoming season but those feelings I felt when she kissed another man were still fresh in my head and I couldn't get rid of them even if I tried.

I was able to convince her to join me during her spring and summer break. We had fun, I loved having her waiting for me at the end of the race. I didn't really enjoy all the media questions that had cropped up about Y/N when she was seen with me, before or after the race. During my summer break, I spent it at her place. When I got there, it was a small apartment; but it had a homely feel. She would cook food for me and we would watch movies; I had a few commitments with the team and would leave for some time but then be back. It was so nice to have some one to come home to. When she was having her book launch, I went to meet her at her launch with a bouquet of flowers. "Congratulations" I said while handing her the flowers and giving her a hug. "Thank you" she replied, a smile playing on her lips. We had celebratory dinner after. Immediately after that, we were on the news. It read that I had a girlfriend, she kept apologising but it didn't matter. It made me a little warm, I'm not sure what emotions I felt hearing people speculate that she was my girlfriend.

I flew back to Netherland for the race early, she would only be joining me on the race day due to work. It dampened my mood but there wasn't much I could do about it. She flew in the morning of the race; it made my day watching her walk out of the airport. We talked all the way to the hotel where she got changed and we headed to the paddock. I had thought it through; after the qualifying, I had planned on telling her how I felt. I was gonna win this race and confess to her. Knowing that I can't hold her while someone else can was eating away at me and I wanted to take the chance before it slipped away from me.

I started the race P2 and finished it at P2. In the final laps, the only thoughts running through my head were, I really wanted to ask her out as a race winner, I can't do that now. She probably doesn't even like me like that, did I really want to ruin everything I had with her. I stumbled out of the car towards her, a big smile on her face. And suddenly I said it; "I wanted to ask you out as a race winner" emotions were running high. She insisted me to continue and when I did, she agreed to go out with me. I was over the moon, my head was reeling. This race ending was not what I hoped for but Y/N's answer was something I really was hoping for.

She waited for me in the driver's room. I couldn't help but not touch her. Her skin against mine send electric shocks through me, I couldn't help but smile at the feeling of her against me. I wanted to have this feeling for the rest of the life. I wanted to have her next to me; it took me a while to figure that out but now that I had, I didn't want to let go. I loved her and I wanted her.

We were both in the hotel room at the end of night in each other’s embrace, "Can't believe you're my boyfriend" she exclaimed. "Can't believe you're my girlfriend either." I exclaimed back. "I've liked you since I've known you" she mumbled. "What?" I asked shocked. "Yeah, I've always had a crush on you. Teenage me would lose it right now if she saw" she said. "I'm sorry it took me so long" I muttered pressing a kiss against her lips. "better late then never" she laughed wrapping her arms around my neck, flipping me to straddle my hips. She bent down to kiss me again.

I could spend the rest of my life like this, if it meant I could have her forever.

Hope you had fun. Thank you for enjoying the story!!

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justlightlysedated · 1 month ago

Text

It's WIP WEDNESDAY!! And I'm here with a sneak peek for my secretly married malex fic, which is called 'call it young, dumb love (and it's just enough)'

This is the last scene of Part One!

December 2013

Michael is in the middle of a call with Isobel when his call waiting starts beeping. Since he doesn't really want to listen to anything else that Isobel is saying, he hangs up on her midword and answers the call.

"Yeah?" he answers, feeling just a bit apprehensive.

"Is this Michael Guerin?" an official sounding voice speaks, sounding sharp and precise.

"Who wants to know?" Michael asks, regretting picking up this phone call.

"I am calling on behalf of Lieutenant Alexander Manes, and need to reach Michael Guerin," the person says, sounding just slightly annoyed, but Michael ignores that as his heart lodges into his throat and starts pounding.

"Yes, I am Michael Guerin, is Alex okay?"

"This is a courtesy call in accordance with paperwork previously submitted by Lieutenant Manes. There was an incident, where Lieutenant Manes was hurt and he is undergoing surgery. We cannot release any more information at this time, but will be letting you know as soon as we are aware of the outcome."

Michael doesn't feel as relieved as he should be. And he barely hears what the person on the other end of the phone says before they hang up.

Alex is hurt, and he's probably somewhere halfway around the world, and Michael can't do anything but stay here and wait for a phone call that might tell him that Alex had died in the middle of a surgery.

It had been over a year since the last time he actually saw Alex face to face. And that last time hadn't ended well. Alex had told him that he was being sent overseas, and he had no idea when he'd be back. Michael had gotten drunk and had picked a fight with Alex during his last night.

He'd driven off without knowing where he was going to go, and found himself in the drunk tank before the night was over.

By the time he'd made it back to the airstream, it was after noon and Alex had been long gone.

He'd left behind a note, a small slip of a thing that Michael hadn't seen for a couple of weeks, until he'd had someone else in his bed and they'd found it.

Michael had snatched the piece of paper away from them and kicked them out without further ado.

In Alex's terrible handwriting had been the message, I'm sorry. I love you.

Michael looks down at his phone and pulls up his recent messages from Alex. Alex can't really text from overseas, but he sends emails, and his last email came several weeks ago, telling Michael that he's sorry for missing their anniversary once again.

Michael finds himself spiraling, thoughts coming all at once and overwhelming him. He falls back on his bed and leans down, dropping his head in his hands, before leaning down and reaching for one of the bottles stashed beneath his bed.

He barely remembers anything about the next several days. He's sure somewhere in that drunken stupor he gets a call regarding Alex's outcome, but Michael stops answering any phone calls, and hides his phone away somewhere he won't be able to find it easily.

It's almost three weeks of this, and two interventions by Isobel and one by Max that ends with Michael throwing up all over the floor of Max's jeep, when Michael gets woken up by a loud knocking on his door.

Michael groans, feeling like his brain is about to explode out of his skull. He tries reaching for any bottle with liquid, but out of all of the bottles on his floor, all of the ones he can reach seem to be empty.

There is another flurry of knocks on the door, and Michael shuts his eyes tight, not wanting to deal with this, but knowing that whoever knew to find him here, wouldn't just leave him alone.

He lets out a long sigh, and then forces himself off the bed.

"Guerin!" a voice calls out as the person knocks again. At the sound, Michael freezes, feeling both weightless and like his body is made out of concrete.

"Alex," he says in a low voice, before he moves faster than he had this whole time and whips the door open.

And there he is.

Alex.

Standing right in front of Michael, looking exasperated and tired, with his arm in a sling and white bandages peeking out from beneath the collar of the plain black shirt he's wearing.

As Michael stares at him, Alex smiles, looking relieved and happy to be standing in front of Michael.

It's a sight for sore eyes. Michael feels something that had been weighing him down, wrapped around his ribs, dissolve instantly.

For the first time since receiving that call, Michael feels like he can breathe again.

"Hello," Alex says, soft and fond, waving with the hand not strapped to his chest.

Michael is startled into movement, he drops down from the entrance of the airstream and walks right into Alex, wrapping his arms around him. Alex flinches minutely, but before Michael can think to let him go, Alex wraps his good arm around Michael's waist and presses his face hard into Michael's shoulder, slumping into his hold. In return, Michael tightens his hold on Alex, leaning his head against the top of Alex's head.

He doesn't know how long they stay standing like that, but before too long, Alex pulls back stiffly.

Michael lets him go immediately, clenching his hands to stop himself from reaching out again and pulling Alex close. He wants to pull Alex's shirt off, and unwrap all of his bandages and take a good look at his wound.

He envies for the first time in his life that Max is the one who can heal people.

It would be worth it, telling Alex his secret, no matter how he would react if he could stop Alex from hurting.

Alex breathes in deeply, "I know it's been a while, but come with me? There's something I want to show you."

He holds his hand out, and Michael wants nothing more than to take his hand and follow him anywhere.

But he still remembers how they'd left things the last time that he'd seen Alex face to face. An issue they hadn't talked about in any of the emails they've sent each other over the last couple of months.

"What are you doing here?" Michael asks instead of grabbing Alex's hand and never letting go. "Thought you said you'd never step foot back in town."

Alex inhales deeply, but he looks at Michael like he had been expecting push back so is not surprised. Michael wants to bristle at that, but despite not knowing about Michael's whole alien thing, Alex knows him the best out of everyone.

"I was angry, and I wanted to hurt you," Alex says, the words rehearsed, like he's repeated them to himself over and over. "You were pushing me away, even though you know it's futile. I was scared that I was going to die. And getting shot just puts things into a bigger perspective."

Michael can't help the way that he reacts to that last part. Alex just gives him a pleading look.

"We're still married. You're still my husband. If I wanted nothing to do with you, I'd have sent you divorce papers."

Michael nods his head once. He swallows back the words he wants to say, telling Alex that he's sorry for what he said, that he hadn't meant any of it either, that Alex leaving always tore him apart, and Alex going overseas for an undetermined amount of time was something that he didn't think he could survive.

He'd been wrong. Somehow, he survived, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell.

"This year's been hell," Michael finds himself saying, and Alex nods his head in agreement.

"I know, for me too, but I think what I have to show you will make the next couple of years easier to bear."

Michael breathes out, and then nods his head once again, reaching out for Alex's still outstretched hand.

Alex tugs him away from the airstream, barely letting him close the door behind himself.

Michael doesn't know how Alex got here, but he lets himself be pushed into his truck, and follows Alex's directions, driving across town, the streets still in the barely there light of the morning. They drive down a dirt path and through winding roads, until they reach a house, not in the middle of nowhere, but far away enough from every other house in the neighborhood to give the illusion of privacy.

They pull in front of the almost dilapidated house, the paint on the garage door is peeling and the wooden fence is rotting in places.

Alex tells him to park the truck in the driveway and gets out before the engine is off. Michael follows after him at a slower rate, watching as Alex pulls a pair of keys out of his pocket and opens the front door, turning to look at Michael once before walking inside.

Michael follows him inside, down a hallway with peeling wallpaper and cobwebs hanging around the corners, and into a large space where a single chair sits in the middle.

He finds Alex sitting down on the low counter that separates what looks like the kitchen from the rest of the room, looking at Michael eagerly.

"What is this place?" Michael asks, because he knows what his heart is hoping for, but it all seems too good to be true.

"It's a house," Alex says obviously, ignoring the look that Michael gives him. "I bought it for us. Both of our names are on the deed."

Michael takes an unintended step towards Alex and then forces himself to stop, "What?"

"You said you wanted to be married. That you wanted a house, kids, a dad band."

Alex doesn't look at Michael as he speaks, like he can't bear to look at his face, like he thinks that Michael has changed his mind.

"We have a domestic partnership, but gay marriage has been legal here for a couple of days, we can go get an actual marriage license. And we have this house. The rest of it I'll give to you once my contract is up. If that's still something that you want."

Michael is moving before Alex can finish speaking, getting into his line of sight, and looking at him seriously.

"What about you?" Michael asks, as Alex watches him with dark confused eyes. "What do you want?"

Alex straightens up, giving Michael a serious look, "What I want hasn't changed."

Michael's eyes dart all over Alex's face before he steps closer, setting one hand down beside where Alex is sitting.

Alex looks down at his hand and follows his arm back up to Michael's face.

"I still want all of it with you," Michael says, and feels something crack in his chest at the look of relief that Alex gives him. "But I hate it when you're gone."

"I hate being gone," Alex says helplessly. "But I still have five more years."

Michael exhales roughly because he knows. He knows that Alex signed up for one of the longest military contracts there was, that he did it because once he got out, he would be set for life.

Alex keeps talking, "I know it's a lot to ask, but if you're willing to wait, I'll give you everything you want and more. I've spent this last year thinking about what you said, and I want to build this life with you, but you have to stop pushing me away. I'm in this for good."

"I'll try," Michael says after a long moment.

"That's all I'm asking for," Alex says back, lifting one hand to Michael's shoulder and sliding it up to the side of his neck.

Michael shivers at the touch and sets his other hand on the counter, caging Alex between his arms.

Alex leans in close and presses his forehead to Michael's, closing his eyes.

"I've missed you," Alex says in a low, shaky voice. "Emails really aren't enough. Especially when you take so long to answer."

Michael hums in agreement, leaning in closer to nudge his nose against Alex's.

Alex pulls back a little bit, opening his eyes and lifting an eyebrow in question.

Michael drops his eyes to the bandages he can still see peeking out of the collar of Alex's shirt.

"Can I?" he asks, looking back up to Alex's face.

Alex gives him an unreadable look for a moment before he nods his head.

Michael doesn't waste any time. He slides the sling off Alex as carefully as he can, but Alex still hisses a little, clenching his jaw.

Michael doesn't stop, though, moving his hands to the hem of Alex's shirt and urging it up over his head.

Alex keeps quiet through it all, not saying anything as Michael starts to unpeel the gauze covering the wound.

Michael feels the air punching out of his lungs as he looks at the still healing wound. There are no stitches, and it is mostly closed up again, the scar tissue looking very red and new. Michael's hands shake as he presses his fingers to the scar. Alex's breath hitches at that, and Michael looks up to his face.

Alex's eyes are closed, and his brow is furrowed.

"What happened?"

Alex inhales deeply and opens his eyes. "There was an ambush, and I was shot. The bullet went straight through, but the injury was aggravated afterward, and I had to have surgery or risk losing any mobility for good."

Michael closes his eyes, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the edge of the wound. Alex's breath hitches again, and his hand goes to the back of Michael's head, fingers tangling in the strands.

Michael doesn't move, pressing his forehead to Alex's shoulder, careful not to press down on the injury.

"I wish-" he starts, not knowing how he's going to end the statement.

He wishes he could wrap Alex in bubble wrap and keep him trapped in the airstream for the rest of his life. He wishes that he could go with Alex and protect him when he's out in the battlefield, sending anything that could hit and injure him far, far away. He wishes he could finally find all the pieces of his spaceship and take Alex far away from this hell of a planet.

Alex tugs against his hold on Michael's hair, and Michael lifts his head, and Alex tugs him into a kiss.

Michael pushes into the kiss immediately, wrapping his hands around the backs of Alex's knees and tugging him in closer before wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and kissing him harder.

Alex hitches his knees on either side of Michael's hips, lifting his injured arm with a hiss, separating their mouths.

Michael makes to pull back, opening his mouth to apologize, but Alex digs his fingers to Michael's scalp and crosses his shins behind Michael's thighs, pulling him closer.

"No, stay, stay," Alex says, voice low and scratchy as he kisses him again.

Michael falls against Alex, hands pressed to Alex's back and licks into his mouth.

Alex moans and rubs his hand across the back of Michael's neck.

Michael loses himself in the kiss, pressing closer and closer until Alex is lying back on the counter and Michael is climbing up after him.

Alex's head falls back as he gasps for air, and Michael presses his mouth to Alex's throat, sliding his hands down to undo the button on Alex's jeans.

"Not where I imagined the first time we'd have sex in this house," Alex says, fingers tugging restlessly against Michael's hair.

"Oh yeah?" Michael mutters against the skin of his throat, hands sliding into Alex's boxers.

Alex makes a strangled sound as Michael wraps a hand around his half-hard cock, and his head thunks back against the counter.

"Yeah," he says breathlessly. "There's a reason I had a mattress delivered earlier today."

Michael lifts his head at that, moving his hands out of Alex's pants to help himself balance above him. Alex makes a noise in protest at the back of his throat, but opens his eyes to look at Michael.

"So sure of yourself that you needed a mattress, huh?" Michael asks teasingly, leaning in close enough for a kiss but not taking it.

Alex just grins up at him, "Where else did you think I was going to sleep for the next six weeks of medical leave?"

Michael goes still with surprise for one second, eyes darting all over Alex's face before he kisses him hard and fast.

Alex laughs as Michael gets down from the counter, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and tugging him upright, before wrapping his hands around the back of Alex's thighs and hauling him into his arms.

Alex's laugh turns into a delighted gasp as he wraps one arm around Michael's shoulders and presses the fingers of his bad arm to Michael's face. The tips of his fingers too cold against Michael's skin.

He's still smiling as he kisses, Michael soft and sweet, before nudging their noses together, "Come on, Mr. Guerin, take me to bed."

Michael kisses him again, and concentrates on using his abilities to make sure he has a secure hold on Alex, before he turns towards the only open door where he can just see the edges of a mattress that is lying on the floor. "As you wish, Mr. Guerin."

For the next six weeks, Alex turns their house into a home, and Michael sleeps beside him on their bed, in their room, in their house.

And then he's gone.

Michael doesn't see him again for almost five years.

#i have been ignoring all my other wips for this one since i want to finish it before the new year #at the rate im going i may just finish it by christmas and it will be a lovely christmas present for marlo and christi 🥰#but don't quote me on that #id been trying to like keep canon as canon as possible #and then decided i really dont have to do that #im still gonna be salty about some things tho #but i wouldn't be me if i wasn't 😊🖤

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