#i forgot what it's like to be deeply in a fandom and get new canon

[starrylayle]

Marauders Fandom > "There is no canon !!" and other rhetorics

Guess who's back in their marauders phase after 2-3 years of being dormant lmao?? ((spoiler its me lol)). Anyways, a lot has changed since 2021 in this fandom so I just wanted to talk about the direction i think it's going.

I remember in 2020-21 the fandom started to boom in popularity on tiktok --> esp with the rise wolfstar + atyd. I remember people were so suprised with remus' characterization as 'rougher around the edges' instead of the 'soft boi' thing, and how that influenced the new wolfstar dynamic. [Just want to add that the atyd characterisation is much more complex than this and its one of my fave fics --> I'm more talking about the fandom at large's reaction to this)

And since fandom is incapable of having two nuanced and characters who are not stark opposites,, their roles were basically reversed and now Remus is the toxic dom alpha male and sirius is the cute girlyboy twink --- which um,,, the oc-ification is so real its embarrassing but whatever (omg don't even get me started on jegulus 💀)). I just assumed these would stay as headcanons. But now we have people saying, that 'we barely know anything abt the marauders in canon' or 'isn't the whole point of fandom to make shit up?' which i have sO many issues with so let me just try and compile my thoughts into dot points for the sake of coherency.

'we barely know anything abt the marauders in canon' ---> First of all, Remus, Sirius and Severus are fully fleshed out characters in the og series -- why do you think people would care enough to create an entire fandom based on their backstories if they were 2d flat characters in canon?? Like bffr. I saw a post on here (forgot who it was by, let me know if u know!) that said, 'I didn't cry over sirius' death in OotP just for ppl to say that we know nothing abt him in canon'. Like, its just mind-boggling to me lol.

'isn't the whole point of fandom to make shit up?' --> Ok y'all. For a fandom to work, there have to be some guidelines, some kind of source material, some point of reference so people can build upon it and make content. I think we can all agree on that. One reason why HP is such a popular place for fandom is the world-building and potential plots/storylines. I see some people argue that jk rowling was a shit writer anyways so might as well contradict everything she says. Now, I don't disagree with that point in particular, Jo is a pretty mediocre writer and a terrible person. HOWEVERrr, I'd argue that it is a lot more fascinating when people expand or work on the concepts in HP. JK Rowling has a lot of great ideas but executes them terribly -- I love when fic writes do this, which prolly explain why I love atyd as it is still very much canon compliant but executes themes on class, disability and queerness that jkr could barely do in subtext. This doesn''t mean I only think canon compliant fics are valid. That's not the case! I think as long as the charcterization is consistent to the character and the particular circumstances/world they're in, its fine! In fact, I love seeing how the same character would function if in a different place! I also love seeing explorations of the magic and magic systems in aus or fix it fics (or even canon compliant ones) that still fit in with the canonnical system that we know.

I guess what I'm trying to say I wish the marauders fandom explored the world and charcterizations more deeply instead of creating shallow oc-fied version of the characters that fit into whatever's trending -- like just write your own book or smth lol -- booktok will eat it up i promise.

Also, kinda related kinda not but um,,, why are we romanticising fascists -- like babe no evan rosier is not your babygirl he canonnoically tortured multiple ppl and became a death eater soo... not saying that I wouldn't want an exploration of his character or even a relationship with barty -- (who's not some cool dairk-haired edgelord but a actually a cowardly fascist murderer with blond hair -- yes the blond hair is important) -- I'd just want them to be portrayed as the not morally good people they are. Like,, if u want to oc-ify a character like pick someone whos not a death eater or has little info on them like dirk cresswell or frank longbottom,,, or ya know,, one of the MANY female characters in the fandom ((This fandom also has a problem with women and sapphic ships in general but that's a whole other issue lol).

I know this 'babygirlification' of death eaters doesn't mean to do this, but it also ends up watering down the themes of oppression, bigotry, etc and leaves us with not nearly as complex characters. Also one of the issues I had with the og HP world is that JK will introduce concepts like wizard racism and slavery and then just like,, not really do anything about it or just have half-arsed redemption arcs whilst not ever actually exploring the root of the issue. And now i feel like the fandom is following in those footsteps unfortunately.

Anyways, i've been rambling for too long so I'll just leave it here. Sorry if this came off as mean spirited in anyway,, I just have a lot of thoughts™ and my family is sick of hearing them lol. These opinions are not set in stone however so I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject! At the end of the day this is fandom and we're supposed to have fun -- so yeah !! thanks for reading if you made it this far!

[katyspersonal]

7, 13, 17 for Bloodborne

7, 18 for Elden ring

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

FOR BLOODBORNE:

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

There was a very short period of fandomry where Micolash and Laurence both started to annoy me because of their fans. Like, it was both Micolaurence fad eclipsing everything while their dynamics was inaccurate to what is stated in canon (people insisted on "micolash is mensis and laurence is choir!!! :3" for rivalry spice in ship when Laurence is the authority above both Choir and Mensis!) and just how fans acted in general.

Becoming passive-aggressive on the notion that Laurence is not a pushover within his own corrupt religion, nor it makes sense for him to look like just another Choir boy who forgot his hat when he is the leader. Having weird vendetta against at least trying to stick to canon that makes Maria's "fans" blush. The weird "web of mutuals :3" group that you HAD to grab a beer with to not have your Micolash and Laurence creations and takes ignored, when I loathe social games within the fandoms and insist on unconditional support of creativity, especially from new blogs. But nope, you HAD to get on their good side. Priding themselves in "prettyfying" Micolash in fanart (I still, to this day, wish to see them try that on a not conventionally attractive female character lol).

It was just the most annoying fad and I have no idea whether it is gone naturally, or just because I've distanced from everyone who kept putting that on my dash. Though there was a personal background of grudge with Mico simps because all of them with the exception of you and literally only two other people were very weird and passive-aggressive at me for drawing him "unattractive". Both of these guys just felt like they've gotten in very bad clutches of people who somehow manage to discourage both canon accuracy AND creativity freedom at the same time (literally HOW do you accomplish it?!), and it kept becoming worse with years that I've spent in the fandom. It just became something bad when it stopped being personal and I've seen how it effected other fans.

Something was just deeply wrong with community around these characters, and only those who didn't "truly" belong to it, whether because of shyness or because or being The Lilo, were worth to talk to about these characters. I miss Fishy and Nymeria so much ;-; At least, by now both characters recovered in my eyes, but I've never felt more uncomfortable with the fans of the same character. I'd muse about how Micolash is cursed, but....... it FITS him, you know? XDDD

13) Worst blorboficiation

I haven't checked in a longest time, but apparently Maria is still getting the treatment of 'just use this character as a vessel and spokesperson for very modern progressive West rightful ideals' when this is just not what she is like at all! She is not the revolutionary badass good-morals role model that would kick Laurence's ass; she literally works for him! She is not a rival of his just because she no longer wants to draw her blade after atrocities in the Fishing Hamlet, because Laurence is also very scholarly and interested in Arcane, and Research Hall IS his faculty!

Considering that Maria tried to send Adeline in the balcony for more "successful" patients, the only ones who could shoot stars (which Lumenflowers are associated with and said to reach for), her dislike of Adeline becoming a Blood Saint had more to do with Maria's distaste for blood, and Adeline's "healing" was to reach for the Stars rather than horrors of the Deep Sea. It was never because Laurence Bad TM! Though the "grooming" of Blood Saints mistranslation probably didn't help the case at all.

I just want to say, Maria should be allowed to be who she is, with flaws and complexity and being involved in a fucked up system by herself and all! I am not a fan of replacing the character's self with your own beliefs just because you like this character! She is cool, but she is also such a huge fucking looser.

17) There should be more of this type of fic/art

I don't read fanfics unless I am very familiar with the author and can trust them because of how my brain reacts to the writing as a concept (can't fix it). The one and only time I've made an exception cost me my investment in Micoed. So, I don't know what the fans even write anymore. 🤷‍♂️ As for art, everyone is doing a great job drawing many plots and ideas, and every vibe! Furries and aliens, horror and comfort, battles and ships, academic vibes and religious stuff - there is everything! It just comes down to which characters lack fanart, tbh. x) Gratia comes to mind, despite how much fans claim to love big strong women.

FOR ELDEN RING

7) What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

There was actually a very short-lasting period of time when I disliked Leda to the point I felt irked when anyone expressed love/desire/interest for her! It was THAT personal! And it happened because she was waaaaay too reminding of especially toxic Miquella fans who have been making fandom worse even before SOTE with constantly instigating drama and hostility against those with """wrong""" readings of his character. I dreaded idolising that guy and harassing/shunning other fans over that idol, and Leda felt like manifestation of that attitude.

However, I've promised to myself that I would never dislike a character just because of bad fandom experiences, or else I'd be no better than people who dislike Radahn just because misogynistic Redditors proclaimed him their king or whatever. Never let the hostile and toxic fans dictate how you feel about the character! She has since then been salvaged for me and I really enjoy her story, personality and deeply rooted pessimism about humanity!

18) It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

There is the fact that before getting caught and imprisoned, Dung Eater was at the goddamn Ephael. Two of his Seedbed Curses could be found there, as well as his weapon of choice being a spine of Milos, the malformed smaller Giant. And like, it is very possible that he even got there NOT by force. I don't know, it is just.. so interesting, to address the fact that accepting all outcasts can bite you in the ass (no pun intended fdhfhds). I just never saw anyone else address it (unless I forgor), but it is a very interesting bit of the story.

Also let Loretta and Dung Eater battle sfdhfhdsdhfd

THIS SHIT (no pun intended lolololol) WRITES ITSELF

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

Fic Writer Questions

Tagged by @squintclover - thank you so much!! Loved your response!!

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

By loving the story so much I wanted to be in it, lol. My first few attempts at writing ff were with self-insert OCs, but that was in my native language and mostly unpublished. Im trying to recycle some of those ideas, but Im not sure how will it go.

As for fics written in english and without OCs - like everyone else, by reading other fics.

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

If we count the first few attempts - I took a look at my docs and counted 7 fandoms. Some parts of those were published somewhere on the web but I genuinely forgot about their existence.

If we count fics published recently on tumblr/ao3 - only HP.

🍈 How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Technically? A decade. But idk if that counts if it wasnt published and probably never will be and had self insert OCs.

I started writing my first fics in english after I got into that one fandom which was during the pandemic, so that would be around 3-4 years - but posting since… December 2023.

🍎 Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read.

🍌 What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Im not making the characters as OOC as before? I hope

🍑 Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Trying to fit too many things into one project that do not fit bc they are too self indulgent or just bad writing bc require sacrificing either plot or characterization. Being too ambitious, having too much plot that needs too much effort to make it make sense, and will not pay off bc nobody will read it (bc idk if i will ever finish it. and if i do it will not be written in english).

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Just one? There are so many weird things Ive been researching or googling.

Did they have 3-in-1 shampoos in 1979. Language of flowers. What the ancient roman beds looked like. Names and their meanings. Ancient roman’s attitude towards (homo)sexuality. Phosphorus and phosphorescence (this was literally to check if this one sentence in canon is factually correct). Did ancient romans have pets. Different gems’ looks, usage and meanings. Ancient Roman dog names. Different astronomical events / discoveries in years 1975-1980 and in year 1957. Layout of certain types of houses.

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any comment is a nice comment <3 tho I like to be let known the person felt something while reading bc its still so abstract and bizzare for me that it happens 😅

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

As you can see from the research question I have an ancient roman au wip. I was genuinely surprised there were only a few ancient roman aus in the marauders fandom.

This one published wip is about a surprise pregnancy that isnt immediately regarded as great news and celebrated (which i think isnt a common way of approaching the topic.) I also wanted to write sth about abortion and miscarriage but i dont know if I will get around to actually writing those.

And Im trying to recycle my old OC-focused long fic which also is deeply unpopular (i understand why but also i feel like im fighting in the trenches)

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Thats about something. Has a deeper meaning and everyone in the comments talk about how deeply they were moved by it. Or how clever the plot was. Or how the deeply and insightfully the characters are analysed. Or how beautiful the language is. Or. Like. Is written and finished and publishable.

🍏What is the easiest type?

All I know is funny dialogue, self indulgent fluff and this one type of hurt/comfort that is also super self indulgent. Also putting all the effort into fitting in as many references / easter eggs as you can that i know nobody will notice.

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

On my laptop, usually sitting at my desk, or on the balcony if the weather permits, whenever I feel like ignoring the things im supposed to be doing instead, I guess.

So far I’ve been using google docs but I’ll be probably moving on from them in the nearest future. For organizing ideas/wips and short fics I use Notion - its good for organizing but not that good as a writing program.

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/ intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Smut, lol. Also more taboo topics like abortion and miscarriage mentioned above.

🍇What made you choose your username?

I translated my first ever username to English. ok, no, my first ever username was Leila Moonlight and i still think its pretty but now i also think its cringe. Tho I was - what? - 11? 12? So maybe I can be forgiven that it looks like a HP character. Nocturnal Phantom - the username actually use now - is still a bit cringe, I picked it bc I was a night owl (lol) and tried to lean into this nighttime-spooky aesthetic, but also its tumblr so im embracing it. I recently picked a nickname Nyx for my mutuals' convenience - and that is the greek goddess of the night. I commit to the bit.

No pressure tagging: @polaroidcats, @hiddenmoonbeam, @soloorganaas

[davekat-sucks]

I feel like the authors of Homestuck:Beyond Canon recontextualizing their mix up between what a psychic and psionic is by saying Vrissy skipped out on school is both a deeply unserious correction of a lore error and a bad omen. What they mixed up wad a detail of lore that mostly concerned the description of a troll’s superpowers, psionics being fully telekinetic while Psychics have telepathy and mind control. The issue is if this mixup will be consistent in future updates. It would be devastating if the writers straight up forgot or misinterpreted a piece of existing events in Homestuck, or writes a character to act this way because of a specific context, while ignoring the character’s actions that counter their fanon interpretation and add dimension to their personality.

I was hoping we’d be past the ild writer’s team mixup where they straight up undivorced Jake and Jane in the Candy timeline. Luckily, as stated before, this was just a small mixup between which word to describe Vrissy’s mind powers, it can’t get any worse than that! Right?

Psiionics to others within the fandom, both new and old, is someone who releases energy (mostly like electrical kind). We see that in Sollux and the Psiionic himself. And even if we don't count Hiveswap (Friendsim) trolls, it has been consistent that goldbloods would have the chance to be gifted this ability and nobody else the hemospectrum could do this (beside the Condesce because huge B-EAC)-( )). Why even say "lol Vrissy was a delinquent and skipped school so that's why she's retarded" in a place OUTSIDE of the Beyond Canon website like Patreon? Even if that Patreon post will eventually get unlocked, nobody is gonna figure out that Vrissy skipped school or had taken history lessons about Alternia. And that new sudden fact will be called into question if it's canon or can count because it's not on Beyond Canon website or story itself. Some people think supplementary materials like Hiveswap or Hussie's commentaries, don't count as canon or taken with a very tiny grain of salt. There is also the fact barely much about the world building in Earth C is explained besides speculation, ectobiology, and that the kids are gods and rulers of it. How would we know what is taught in schools? Is the reason the school teaching them about how bad Alternia's caste system is to avoid another repeat? What methods have there been to potentially stop others from re-enforcing racism? Has a fuchsia blood tried to bring it back? Was there a time a LOWBLOOD said they should return to slavery? Has Vrissy even met another goldblood with psiionic powers? It raises more questions than answers. As the Mage of Hope, I can say that it won't get any better. It will only get worse.

[enbifairy]

Yo

This might be a weird time to bring this back up but I don’t really wanna forget it again: Remember how a long time ago during the 2024 Sanrio Character Ranking I asked you if you knew who the Beatcats were and you didn’t so I said that I’d tell you a little bit more about them, but I kinda forgot about it and just left it at that for a while? (Sorry about that by the way)

I remember now. And by the time I did I actually already had descriptions for each of them that I typed up for someone else who was new to the fandom last month, so here they are:

“tl;dr: They’re a J-pop idol group of vampire cats who have to feed on the excitement of their fans to stay colorful and healthy, or else they slowly revert back to their vampire forms

They have five members:

-Mia (The pink one)

-Chelsea (The blue one)

-Rico (The yellow one)

-Layla (The purple one)

-Emma (The green one)

Everyone sings and dances, but Mia and Chelsea are the main singers, Rico and Emma are the main dancers, and Layla is the only rapper but she also has the most beautiful singing voice out of the five

Mia is a bit of a scatterbrain and hopeless romantic who is obsessed with being cute, finding love, and “watching girls get excited on SNS”. Traditional girl stuff. And she always uses her name instead of “I” or “Me” (So instead of saying “I am…” she’d say “Mia is…”. Stuff like that). She has a crush on Chelsea, Rico is her best friend, and she sees Emma as an older sister

Chelsea can be kind of prickly sometimes, being so easy to annoy, and can say harsh things in the heat of the moments, but despite that she’s really sweet and lovely on the inside and cares for everyone very deeply. She has a crush on Mia, is friends with Layla and Rico, and also sees Emma as a sister but not really an older one

Rico is very, as she puts it, “high tension” (Energetic), always talking with a lot of excitement in her voice and finding it hard to sit still and being the silliest out of everyone. And one smaller detail I like is that unlike everyone else, her gender expression varies from picture to picture. Sometimes she’s more tomboyish and sometimes she’s more girly, which is something I especially like about her. Any romance with Layla on her end is sadly unconfirmed but they are canonically still close, she has a crush on Emma, as said before she loves talking to Mia, and she’ll goes to see whatever Chelsea’s up to on the side

Layla is best described as “in her own world”. She could appear lazy with how she gets annoyed when Chelsea tells her to clean up after herself or with how she’s always sleeping through important conversations, but that’s just because she focuses on herself first snd foremost and just does what she feels like. And the way that’s portrayed makes me feel like she’s autistic but Sanrio would never confirm that. And also she likes spicy food and her favorite genres of music are rap and techno and she’s scared of lightning. Alongside Rico she also has a crush on Emma, and as mentioned earlier she’s also close with Rico and Chelsea

And finally, Emma is everything soft. Soft-hearted, soft-spoken, and any other soft adjectives you can think of that emphasize her light fluffiness, her love and care for everyone, her inner-child, and her heart of gold. She kinda has a little bit of middle-aged mom energy /lh, and she’d probably be the cutest if Chelsea wasn’t already. Just as Mia and Chelsea see her as their sister, she also sees them as younger sisters, and while it’s unknown whether she reciprocates Rico’s feelings for her, she is implied to reciprocate Layla’s

And that’s everyone. I’d think I did a good job describing them but examples are always a better description than words so if you wanna see them for yourself, they actually have a whole song introducing themselves”

hi!! yeah i've been waiting but i assumed you didn't had the time! i haven't read everything yet but the little i did i can confirm i immediately seen myself in layla lol also i didn't imagined they were vampires, i thought they were zombies or smth

[destinationtoast]

okay but how am I supposed to sleep when new Ted Lasso has just come out

[bbygirl-aemond]

i want to write an hotd fanfic so bad… i’m watching the early GOT show too as well to try and wrap my head around the lore but i fear that my fic will still be very amateur and show that i don’t really have that big of a grasp on the lore and worldbuilding and language around me.. can you give any advice onto how to tackle this? any specific ways i should research or how to remember every little thing to make the story as accurate and correct as possible?

hi and welcome! don't worry, i have been through this exact process within this fandom haha. i was the queen of sparknoting my way through my lit classes in college when i didn't have other time, so i think i've kind of perfected the art of making it seem like you've deeply read something, even if you haven't.

let me give my usual disclaimer that i don't recommend reading fanfic to get a sense of characters or worldbuilding in a new fandom. that's because to a fresh eye, it's impossible to tell what is the author's invention/headcanon (which may be incorrect/ooc) and what is actual canon. fanfic writing should be about indulging yourself and your creativity, not about trying to cater to the most popular opinions even if you don't agree with them. so i really do recommend sticking to canon as much as possible, and being very deliberate about where and when you use fanon as a reference.

i create a tumblr blog for every fandom that i'm planning to write in to serve as a repository for my research and notes. this blog is unusual in that i forgot to make it private and then had too much fun engaging with y'all to go back. but my first posts were all specifically for stormbreak purposes. if you're nervous about putting things out there, you can password-lock your blog, so you're the only one with access. being able to sort with tags for characters, houses, etc. will be super helpful. another good idea is to take notes in google drive, since you can also search for things there and use the outline feature to navigate. the goal is to have one or two places where you compile all of your work that are easily navigable.

a really good starting place for research is this particular asoiaf wiki. i do not recommend any of the others, especially the ones based on individual shows, because those often do not include details that are in the books. i genuinely cannot tell you how many hours i've spent on this wiki. start your research here- look for dates, places, events, houses, relationships, appearances, etc.

meta analysis is also a really good idea to gain knowledge. tumblr or reddit are the places to go for this. it's really important to seek out posts that are both sympathetic and unsympathetic towards characters or houses. the goal is to get a sense of the different opinions within fandom, and decide which ones make sense to you. on tumblr, you can search a term, select for text posts, and scroll until you find big walls of text. (as an aside: if you're doing this, blocking tags related to fanfiction, imagines, xreader, etc. will help streamline your search and filter out headcanons in favor of meta)

lastly, and be careful with this one since it is fanon but not canon: memes! twitter and tiktok are great for these. they're great for getting a sense of vibes, but not for actual canon facts about a character. remember, fanon can sometimes be very distant from or even contradictory with canon, so take these with a grain of salt. i do still find them useful for forming opinions about personalities, mannerisms, and attitudes of different characters.

if you want more info about how i actually planned out stormbreak, i've answered an ask about it here!

[starilicious]

so i was watching some echo video clips and i have to say that i'm so incredibly frustrated with how he's been animated in tbb and season 7 of tcw.

obviously, the hashtag #unwhitewashtbb focuses on how tbb have been subjected to whitewashing and racism (and ableism when it comes to echo), but i just wanted to add on something specific. the point i'm about to delve into may have been brought up already in other similar posts, but i'm still going to talk about it in an effort to bring more attention to it.

as a poc, it pisses me off that echo is not just pale, but LITERALLY as white as a sheet of paper. the explanation is that bc he wasn't exposed to sunlight and didn't have proper nutrition, his skin color faded away. well let me tell you that this "explanation" is absolute bullshit.

i'll give you an example of why. this past year bc of the pandemic and everything going virtual, i have rarely gone outside. as in i maybe would go outside for like 5 mins once a week to throw out the trash and then come back inside, even during the summer. and just to be clear, i have brown skin. despite my lack of sunlight, i did NOT lose the melanin in my skin completely. i don't look white. yes, i did lose a tiny bit of color because that's just natural, but it's obvious that i'm still as brown as the day i was born. nothing will ever EVER change that.

this is why echo being so white literally doesn't make sense. you can't just lose your melanin to the point where all the color from your skin has been drained. and since the clones are all based on temuera morrison, someone of maori descent who clearly has brown skin, it is just so infuriating to have echo (and the rest of tbb) portrayed so inaccurately.

what i've said is just about skin color. don't even get me started on the other inaccuracy problems with the animation and plot.

this post only scratches the surface of how deeply rooted racism and other such discriminatory "isms" are rooted in star wars and its fandom. please be aware of that and support the fans of color who call out these major issues!

edit: i forgot to mention something about the malnutrition part of the "explanation". because the separatists/the techno union wanted to get republic info from echo, they needed him alive. not conscious, just alive. and to do that, they put him stasis. news flash! to keep someone alive (even if they're in a vegetative state), you literally HAVE to give them nutrition, otherwise they will die. this means echo wasn't malnourished. so, as you can see, both parts of the canonical explanation just do not make any sense in the slightest, biologically or otherwise.

[frozen-fountain]

13 for the writers ask!

In midst of putting this list together I almost forgot about this ask! But here I am, better late than never.

I'm not sure what I'd classify as a “must read”, and coming late with a taste for the niche to a huge and old fandom like FFVII surely means I've missed a lot of classics. So while they may not be crowd-pleasers here's a handful of thoughtful and intriguing shorter works I've really enjoyed and that are sitting, for shame, at less than fifty kudos.

Precarity by aejrogota – maybe a self-indulgent choice since I'm deeply proud to say this was inspired by one of mine, but it's also a beautifully written and insightful study of Aerith and what she represents that packs so much substance into less than a thousand words.

What's Left Behind in the Ashes by mythic_bitch_o – this is my favourite Barret-centric fic that I've found, contrasting his last years in Corel with his time on the read with Avalanche in illuminating and heartbreaking ways. It's so good and gets his character so thoroughly, I had to incorporate a few of its headcanons into my own.

White Lies by nightmarechild – a longer one here, but so very worth your time. I came for the emphasis on canon's cyberpunk elements and I was not disappointed; the descriptive writing and scene-setting here is immaculate, rendering a dirty neon phantasmagoria and infusing it with some chilling original worldbuilding elements that really immerse you in what daily life in the slums must feel like. But I'll return to this one for the intricate characterisation of Tseng and Rufus and the fraught dynamic between them – you just have to read it for yourself.

The Anatomy of Sin by MobiusStripper – a series of short pieces concerning the Jenova Project and the characters swept up in it. Through impressively sharp and considered writing, and by having one work shed new light on another, these glimpses add up to a continually evolving and expanding picture of an unfolding disaster that feels almost fated. But of course it's not. Just complicated people doing what they think they have to in order to make it through.

Mon Semblable, Mon Frere and Singin' Whiskey and Rye by Sour_Idealist – two fics centered on Sephiroth. The first is equally focused on Aerith and explores all the places the two characters complement and contrast one another, and it's worth reading just for the stunning, surrealistic swirl of the prose. The second gives us a glimpse into how his disappearance affected those who served under him, and features some of the best usage of the dreaded second person POV I've seen.

Murmurs by idk some author – Barret and Aerith have a talk I've always wanted to see them have in the aftermath of the battle with Dyne. I think it's these kinds of missing scenes that shed light on the implicit parallels between unlikely characters and invite us to imagine all the quieter moments we weren't privy to that make for my favourite fics overall.

Rotten Honey by sanctum_c – a Jenova Project-era what if that had me on the edge of my seat the whole time with the slow escalation of its unsettling atmosphere and powerful rendering of Lucrecia's unravelling psychology, and comes to a head in a brilliantly cathartic ending.

Like Paper For Wings by mellish – a short Yuffie study that examines the profound impact the loss of both her mother and her culture made on her. She's a not a character I see taken seriously as often as the others and it makes me sad, because there's so much to be done with her, so the least I can do is celebrate the authors who do take her on – and with as much elegance as is displayed here.

Scratching the Itch by mako_lies – Yuffie again, along with Elena. Another interaction I've always wanted to see in canon is the two of them attempting some sort of conversation in the aftermath of their treatment at the hands of Don Corneo, and this painful exchange says a lot with a little as they talk past one another in a quietly heartbreaking way.

I also want to mention Clarion by justira; it's a FFX fic that chronicles Braska's pilgrimage, and it's so beautifully done I feel like I never need to read another one on the matter because it'll almost inevitably fall short. It also contains probably my favourite line I've read in any fanfic, ever. I cried over “We are put on this world to dream our hardest” the day before the first JWST photos came back, and as such, I'll see those words across the deep field for the rest of my life.

I am also once again shouting out the author AsTheDeadSleep for their series in the Terraria fandom. I know nothing about the game beyond what I've read in their work, but as piece after piece of this gorgeously written and characterised slow burn tragedy come together, it becomes ever more firmly my favourite ongoing fanwork right now. If you like dark fantasy, asshole monster women, and men being weird about one another in complicated ways, I think you'd have a really good terrible time with this one.

[mirrorofprinces]

ao3 wrapped ask: 3, 5, 6, 12, 17, 18, 19, 20, 28, 29, 30!

answered 17, 28, 29 <3

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? i thinkkkk i can't stop and look the other way. i knew for sure i wanted to play with infidelity kink (and my original idea was actually for the infidelity to be real lol) but i chickened out and just made it a roleplay, and even clearly tagged it as such, but i'm proud of how i pulled it off in a way that a bunch of people commented saying they forgot or didn't realize it was roleplay hehe. maybe i'll write actual infidelity one day! who knows

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? god, that's gotta be give it to ya like you never had it. i truly didn't expect the response it's gotten because there was already a super popular pornstar AU fic, so i knew my second cake would just be a humble offering in comparison, but i think a lot of people really liked the way i wrote them here where i had fun exploring their personalities outside of mafia canon.

6. Favorite title you used? oh, i hate all my titles, i literally don't think of a title until 30 seconds before posting, and then i end up using whatever song i was listening to while writing...

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? jesus christ. you don't wanna know. it's in the double digits for sure lmao ><

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? i don't know that it's been one character consistently in my posted fics, but i can admit that the "character" in my rpf WIPs that's been giving me hell is apo. he is so hard to write!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? i guess i can technically say mileapo since i haven't finished or posted any mileapo fics yet. but another kp ship i want to try is (unpopular opinion alert) vegasporsche. hear me out!! they might suck together in the series, but they have a different dynamic in the novel, and their relationship is more genuine (not FULLY genuine but like, more than in the show lol, like they become friends and vegas develops actual feelings for porsche and everything). but i just don't know if i'll ever actually write them because i would need the perfect idea or AU and it hasn't come to me yet.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? probably down like my head on your chest, because i THINK it's my fav la fortissimo fic. i'm just really happy with the scenes i chose to hornify, plus the hallway-semi-public-masturbation bit was a huge turning point for porsche where he was given full control of the situation for once and he still chose to submit. you don't really get this because it's in porsche pov, but from that point on in the series, you notice kinn ends up "playing with porsche's emotions" a lot more (ie. having him drive his twinks home, fucking a lot more escorts, shutting down conversations about their feelings) and that's actually kinn poorly coping with porsche's unwavering trust by trying to prove to himself that he doesn't feel anything for porsche, which we all know is a BIG FAT LIE. but anyways. no one reads into the story this deeply, i know you're all just here for the smut <3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? my biggest surprise is that i can write again LMAO. before kp brainrot, i went like a full 2 calendar years without writing anything because i was so uninspired, plus constantly comparing myself to the thousands of better writers in the huge fandom i was in at the time. kp also has incredible writers but it's a much smaller fandom and i feel a lot less self-conscious posting here. i remember in my old fandom, i literally couldn't even tweet about an idea i had that i wanted to write without getting a dozen replies from people saying "there's already a fic like that", which is like, ok, i know none of my ideas were especially original, but getting that response constantly made me feel like my writing just wasn't welcome. oh well. with kp being a new and small fandom, nothing feels "overdone" yet, so i'm having a lot of fun in this playground!

[lochnessies]

ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad). 

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace. 

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system. 

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society. 

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious. 

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic. 

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place. 

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

[beauty-and-passion]

Remus’ playlist: a hymn to self confidence

This goddamn trash man.

His playlist made me experience everything. Happiness, frustration, appreciation, even more frustration. Sometimes I felt I got everything right, the next day I realized I was wrong. I tried too hard to find a sense and didn't try hard enough to connect the dots.

Janus' playlist was one single speech, flowing from one song to the next, that linked all themes together. Clear, simple, perfect.

 Remus' playlist is a woven made of six themes intersecting, mixing, shifting one into the other, with side themes here and there that sprout like small branches and expand the bigger theme.

I forgot Remus is Creativity. And Creativity cannot be contained into a very precise, schematic speech. Especially Remus, who has "no rhyme or reason to what he does, he just does".

Obligatory warning: this is Remus we're talking about, so beware of everything, from sex to death. Read at your own risk :P

Also, if you want, I've made this Remus analysis that can help explain my points a bit more.

And now, let’s start.

_______________________________

1. Better being a sinner, than hoping for grace

Songs included: Forbidden Fruit / Double Team / Man /  Worldwide Torture /  Na Na Na

Christian references: we were all expecting to find them. Or, at least, I was expecting to find them. Remus’ own existence is deeply linked to Thomas' catholic upbringing, so this theme has to be blasted all over the playlist, right? That's how it's supposed to be, right?

Well, it's not. Janus' playlist embraced the christian theme a lot more, compared to Remus'. He has heavily christian themed songs (like All the good girls go to hell and It seemed the better way) while Remus has just references here and there:

Hail Satan! (Double Team)

We're all gonna burn in hell (Man)

A pure violation of God's great creation (Worldwide Torture)

Forbidden Fruit is the song with the biggest number of christian references:

The title itself is a reference to the apple of Eden, the fruit God forbade Adam and Eve to eat, the original sin (Adam and Eve bought knowledge /  For the small price of a little sin).

Recently a snake offered me a morsel from the tree of knowledge: is a reference to what is said in the Bible, when Eve was tempted by the snake (aka the Devil) to eat the forbidden fruit.

So let all your hopes of heaven be forgotten / Cause your head's not in the gutter, pal, it's in Hell: one of the first references of hell.

Pretty monothematic, isn’t it? Hell, sins, more hell. Unlike Janus, who accepts hell but is still tormented by his sins, Remus has no problem with them and he’s happy to stay in hell. Who cares? That’s not so bad. After all...

I'd rather go to hell Than be in a purgatory (Na Na Na)

For Remus is better to be a sinner and do whatever you want, rather than being stuck in purgatory and hope that, maybe, one day, if he repents and cleans himself from all sins, MAYBE he will ascend into heaven.

That’s not for him. Better go to hell, rather than punish yourself for all your life, in a desperate attempt to go into a better place - that maybe won’t even accept you.

Better being himself, rather than trying to be something else.

_______________________________

2. Full acceptance of the sexual sphere

Songs included: Forbidden Fruit / Double Team /  No Reason Boner / I Told You I Was Freaky / Queef / Manners / Don’t stop me now

Sex is an incredibly huge part of Remus' playlist and, as expected, he fully embraces it. Sexuality is seen in all its forms and expressed in all possible ways, without shame or disapproval.

A. With subtle and/or obvious references:

Let's make two life-size cardboard cut-outs of our bodies / And then pose them into sensual positions (​I Told You I Was Freaky)

​Got me dripping like a runny nose / Fat pussy like Santa (Manners)

I am a sex machine, ready to reload (Don't stop me now)​

B. With descriptions of different kind of sexual intercourses:

The whole Double Team is basically just the description of a threesome

C. With fetishes (It's Remus we're talking about, after all. I would've been more surprised if he didn't have some fetishes):

It's me, it's JB, I'm suckin' upon your toes.​ / ​We don't mind sucking on toes! (Double Team)​

​I’m a weird bitch, suck my toes (Manners)

D. With a weirdly good knowledge of sexual/biological stuff:

Showing / Growing (Double Team): I found out that these lines refer to the two different types of penis someone can have: a show-er is the type of penis that doesn't gain much length when erect, while a grow-er seems small when flaccid but grows much larger when erect.

It's KG with the feather and the French tickler (Double Team): A french tickler is a condom with extra bumps and protrusions made to increase stimulation.

The whole No Reason Boner​ is about random erections. (Compared to normal erections, that happen when there​'s a​ sexual stimulus​, random erections occur out of nowhere, without any sexual stimulation.)

Queef is based on "queefing". And queefing is the sound of a pocket of air, when it's pushed out of a vagina - usually during sex (It sounds like blowing a raspberry​​).

Welp, thank you for the additional knowledge, you terrible trash man. I don’t know if this stuff will ever be useful but hey, now I know more. And that reminded me Remus proved his knowledge even in canon!

[Duke]: Did you guys know that ​'​dork' means whale penis? I called Logan a whale penis is what I'm saying.

That also implies a very interesting possibility: a cooperation between Remus and Logan. Because Logan knows stuff and information feeds Remus' creativity. Just imagine the number of bodily functions and reactions that can be used for experimenting with sex​. Or the number of chemical reactions that can be used to influence human's perceptions. Or how useful can be the whole field of physics!​ Particle physics, gravity laws, fluid physics, basically EVERYTHING can be a source of inspiration for Remus.​

A cooperation with Logan may be the strangest and the coolest thing ever. And I would definitely love to see it.

_____________________________

2.1 Side theme: Showing and hiding affection

Songs included: Ben Bernanke / Na Na Na

Remus isn't the Side responsible for romantic love: it's Roman's field, so it's not exactly his area of expertise. But romantic love and sexuality are two areas very close to each other, so it's normal for them to come into contact.

Also, Remus canonically proved he cares about Thomas (in his own way) and that he can be nice to Virgil (still in his own way). So Remus is able to feel affection towards someone else. And Ben Bernanke is how he shows it.

This song is based on a very short film that you can find on Youtube here. Do yourself a favour and see it: it's the funniest, most menacing thing ever. Three minutes of a guy who never takes his eyes off the other and talks to him with this strange mix of affection, playfulness, mockery and all of the homo. Someone said this song is filled with "menacing homoeroticism" and I think that's the best possible description of Ben Bernanke.

So now you may ask: who's Spencer? If Ben Bernanke shows how Remus acts when he displays affection, who is the one he's being affectionate with?

The fandom went mad, trying to figure out who Spencer is. I went mad, trying to figure out which Side would fit that role better.

And then I understood: Spencer isn’t just one person. Spencer is all the people Remus cares about.

Spencer is Roman:

You think you're something special, Spencer? You think you're something brand new? But you're old oats, Spencer You're old, dry, stale oats, Spencer 

Roman’s creativity is “dull”, he makes Thomas “sick”, as Remus said during DWIT.

Spencer is Logan:

Do you think you can mock me, Spencer? Do you think you can capture my essence And throw it back at me with Humor and rhetorical devices?

You know what Roman said to Logan during “Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?”

[Roman]: Thomas! Do not let him confound you with rhetorical devices and health... facts! He literally could do that with any topic he wanted to sound important, like... brushing your teeth.

Also, let’s not forget that:

I'm Ben Bernanke, Spencer, and I want your teeth for the federal reserve.

And, well, Remus yanked Logan’s teeth off during DWIT.

But Spencer is also Janus:

I'm going to kiss you, Spencer, on the lips You sexy little rattlesnake, you naughty little baby boy

Remus is the source of Thomas’ sexual urges and fantasies, after all. Would I really be that surprised if he also has some Electra complex and wants to kiss his father? Not so much.

And Spencer is Thomas too:

You think you're something special, Spencer? You think you're something brand new? But you're old oats, Spencer You're old, dry, stale oats, Spencer

[Duke]: If I am awful, then so is Thomas.

He mocks Thomas, the “precious boy”:

Pretty little boy Sitting up there in your high chair Demanding more applesauce

But he still loves him, just like every other side. In his own strange way, but he does.

So in Ben Bernanke we saw how Remus gives affection to other people. While in Na Na Na we see how Remus reacts, when affection is given to him.

Love, gimme love Gimme love, I don't need it But I'll take what I want from your heart And I'll keep it in a bag, (In a box) Put an "X" on the floor Gimme more, gimme more, gimme more Shut up and sing it with me

Compared to Roman who is very "love/affection starving" and is desperately in need of love, Remus doesn't need it with the same intensity. He wants to be loved and appreciated, but he's not consumed by this need like his brother.

That doesn't mean he will throw it away: he will keep this love, protect it, put it in a bag and bury it under an X, like a treasure on a map. He will store this love away, like something precious, to keep it safe.

______________________________

3. Understanding and accepting death

Songs included: This Devil’s Workday / Forbidden Fruit / Man / Worldwide Torture / Death As A Fetish / Fuck it!

Remus' playlist starts with a very carefree vision of death. Just like a child who kills a bug for the first time, he's curious about it. What would happen, if he steps on a bigger bug? Or if he kills a small bird? Or a bigger animal? Or your friends? “Have you ever imagined killing your brother?”

All those people that you know / Floatin' in the river are logs. (...) Gonna take this sack of puppies./  Gonna set it out to freeze. (This Devil’s Workday)

Your best bud trapped inside a coffin Your grandma choking on a lozenge Your pet dog stuffed into a sausage (Forbidden Fruit)

I got a man who makes me want to kill I got a man who makes me want to die (Man)

And this “desire” of death keeps growing and growing, until it reaches its (figurative) climax with Worldwide Torture:

I'm gonna destroy the world (...) All I really want is to destroy, stroy, stroy

But what comes next, after this curiosity reaches its peak? A consideration about death. Aka Death As A Fetish.

Death has always had a crucial importance in the history of humankind. We're among the few animals in the world that recognize and mourn the death of their own kind. Death has always been part of us and will forever be, it will follow us through our entire life, until the end. No matter how many things we may learn and discover: death will remain the last enigma we will never understand.

And that led humankind to a fearful respect of death. Death makes life even more important, because having a limited time made our own time even more precious. Death is unstoppable, death is everywhere... so looking at death makes us more aware of our time and importance.

That's what Death As A Fetish is truly about: death is contemplated, analyzed, it shines through every aspect of life. And its presence reminds us how fragile life is.

You're born, death as a fetish Your sins, death as a fetish Your smile, death as a fetish Your friends, death as a fetish

That reminds me of the Danse Macabre (also known as Dance of Death): this is an artistic representation of skeletons and living people dancing together. Like this one:

Danse Macabre represents the universality of death, Just like Memento mori: everyone has to die, no matter who you are and what you do, what your decisions will be, what you will create. Death is inevitable.

And death is a fetish, because it’s a thought you dwell into, even though it's "forbidden". Thinking about skeletons and what lies beyond, if something lies beyond, stimulates your mind, makes your fantasy run wilder. And, at the same time, it reminds you how alive you are, how your heart beats in your chest and breath leaves your lungs.

So if death is inevitable, it's everywhere and there’s no way to stop it nor to fully understand it... what you can do is accept it.

That’s why the Danse Macabre: death is part of life, so there’s no need to be scared by it. Just like things born, so they die. Life is a cycle and death is part of it. And accepting death leads to generating life, to create of something new.

They say don't take the risk you're sure to fail 'Cause there's no get out of jail free card in life But what's the worst that could happen, end up in a coffin? Isn't that where we're all headed anyway? (Fuck It!)

Why abstain? Why jump in line? We're all living on borrowed time (Fuck It!) 

At the beginning of this playlist, Remus approached death with a childish curiosity. He joked with the thought of death, of killing and seeing things die, inebriated by this thought to the point of wanting to destroy everything. And then, he went one step further and started to contemplate death. How its presence is everywhere, inevitable, part of life. Memento mori.

So, if death is part of life, with Fuck it! we have the final acceptance of it. No matter what we do in our life or if we’re scared of taking risks. Scared of what? To die? But death is a natural part of life, “we’re all headed there anyway”. So it’s better to enjoy this beautiful, precious occasion called life to its fullest, instead of wasting our "borrowed time" worrying about everything.

_______________________________

4. An erupting volcano of creative images

Songs included: ALL OF THEM

This was the most pleasant surprise of Remus’ playlist and my little writer’s heart fluttered happily while reading all the lyrics.

His songs doesn’t just rely on words. His songs are first of all pictures. Each song is a collection of vibrant images, scenes, sensations, feelings. Some songs are literally MADE of images, like I Told You I Was Freaky. I can’t quote the whole song, but read the lyric by yourself: you will find that basically every line is an image.

Same for No Reason Boner, that uses small skits to create a scene we’re able to picture in our minds.

And all the other songs does the same! I’ll quote just a few of them, otherwise this post would be endless:

Gonna take this sack of puppies. / Gonna set it out to freeze. Gonna climb around on all fours / 'til all the blood falls out my knees. (...) Well let's take this potted plant / To the woods and set it free. I'm gonna tell the owners / Just how nice that was of me. (This Devil’s Workday)

Imagine with me! Licking the blowhole of a dolphin Your best bud trapped inside a coffin Your grandma choking on a lozenge Your pet dog stuffed into a sausage (Forbidden Fruit)

You step into our room / And then you smell the perfume, You lay upon our roundish bed / And then you feel a tickling on your head. It's KG with the feather and the French tickler (Double Team)

There's something in the shadows / In the corner of your room A dark heart is beating / And waiting for you There is no open window, but the floors still creep In the room where you sleep (In the Room Where You Sleep)

Let's blow an artery Eat plastic surgery Keep your apology Give us more detonation (Na Na Na)

I'm a shooting star, leaping through the sky Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity I'm a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva (Don't Stop Me Now)

Things I don't remember There was dressed up alligator There was cum on the piano Disco dancin' neighbors Who were born in mashed potatoes Caught with our pants down Hidin' in the dollhouse (Things I Don't Remember)

Remus is creativity and show don't tell is the foundation of every form of creativity. These songs show its essence. Creativity isn’t made of precise images, but it’s a stream of images: sometimes there’s an image that sticks a bit more, so you add details to it. Other times the image appears and puff, it’s gone.

Remus’ playlist has them all: some images are more detailed (Gonna climb around on all fours / 'til all the blood falls out my knees), others are just flashes of ideas/concepts (Eat plastic surgery). I think the Na Na Na Lyric Video is the best representation of this: the lyric is accompanied by a literal stream of images, some silly, some fun, some with a deeper meaning. So, when you reach the end, maybe there was an image that hit you more. Or an image that made something click in your mind right when you saw it. Or an image that made something click only after a while.

Speaking of that: the huge amount of references. There are too many, so I’ll quote just a few:

LITERATURE, in Queef: “I'm F. Scott Queefsgerald / Gatsby of the queef game / Wuthering queefs, cos I'm queefing like a Brontë” (reference to F. Scott Fitzgerald who wrote The Great Gatsby and to Wuthering Heights written by the Brontë sisters)

POLITICS, still in Queef: “Queefenor Roosevelt” refers to Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of President Roosevelt.

POP CULTURE in Queef (“Queefing Han Solo / Queefy Wan Kenobi”), Ben Bernanke (“Avada kedavra to you, Spencer”) and Na Na Na (“Thought you was Batman”)

HISTORY AND LEGENDS in Don’t Stop Me Now: “I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva” refers to Lady Godiva’s legend in which she rode naked through the streets of Coventry, England.

Remus knows A LOT of stuff. It’s incredible how many things he knows. I said it before and I’ll say it again: I want Remus and Logan to cooperate. Remus would probably be the only one willing to listen to everything Logan says. And Logan would be more than happy to give him knowledge about anything.

_______________________________

5. Embracing full creativity

Songs included: Forbidden Fruit / Na Na Na / Trash People / Fuck it!

I already talked about this theme in my Remus analysis, so I'll keep it short: this playlist keeps saying the same thing Remus said during Forbidden Fruit:

It's unicorn horns and dragon tails, Roman's dull creativity If you want the spectrum A to Z then you'll need a little help from me From unicorn porn to rats impaled, I give these thoughts generously If you really wanna challenge your viewership then you'll need to stop limiting me (Forbidden Fruit)

Thomas must be free to use the full creative spectrum. He can't just be stuck with family-friendly content: creativity is everything, from butterflies and magic, to blood and sex. And if he really wants to challenge his public, he has to give them something more than just sunshine and rainbows.

Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die Wanna try, wanna try, wanna try Wanna try, wanna try, oh I'll be your detonator (Na Na Na)

Everybody talks about changing the world, but no one is actually willing to do anything. Thomas is making the same mistake: he wants to "change the world", to create something new and original, but he can’t do it, if he doesn't draw from the full creative spectrum.

Remus is offering him the chance to do it. He's willing to be Thomas' detonator, the one who will let the full power of creativity "blow up". The one who won’t “rock the cradle” (as he said in DWIT) and treat people like children, but “be the wind” and bring something new and different. A change as strong as an explosion.

Art is love and love is sloppy Nothing is all pure Nothing is all dirty (Trash People)

Remus’ change will bring something new, different from before - and definitely gross. But it will still be art. Art isn't dirty, but it's not pure either. Art is feeling something. You see a painting and the picture gives you goosebumps. You walk into a cathedral and the tall rose-windows make you feel small. You listen to a melody and it makes you cry without reason. You see a statue and your stomach twists in disgust. That's art.

So do what you like And we'll like what you do when you do it And if they don't that's fine Fuck 'em! (Fuck it!)

That’s what Remus told Thomas from the start: “Why do you want to stifle your own creativity?”. The creative process cannot be confined. Creativity must flow freely, without boundaries or rules. Thomas should do what he likes, without caring too much if it's family-friendly, disgusting, pure, happy or bloody. Everything is art after all and “Good and bad is all made up nonsense”.

"We'll like what you do, when you do it": there will be people who will recognize the love inside his work. After all, if you do something you like, your love will shine through it. Why are there so many people in love with Sanders Sides? Because Thomas and Friends love it too. Because behind every shot, every detail, every expression, every word, there is passion, attention, fun and a huge amount of work to make it perfect. And people recognize it. When something is done with care and love, people can feel it. And they will love it in turn.

But there can also be someone who doesn't like what Thomas does: well, Remus says, that's not his problem. Art isn't universally appreciated by all people in the world, after all. So if someone doesn't like something, "fuck 'em!": shrug and keep going with your life.

_______________________________

5.1 The importance of freedom and society’s role

Songs included: Forbidden Fruit / Freeee / Na Na Na / Trash People / Don’t stop me now / Fuck it!

Freedom is a very important theme in Remus' playlist, closely tied to creativity: in order for Thomas to really express himself, he should be free from all rules and limitations he imposed on himself.

Why deny yourself knowledge, say Knowledge of yourself (Forbidden Fruit)

What did we learn until now? That death is a normal part of life so we shouldn't be afraid of it. That sex is natural and it should be accepted in all its shapes and forms, not forbidden. That "good and bad is all made up nonsense", so "good art" and "bad art" don't exist.

So if these things aren't terrible sins but normal parts of existence, why should Thomas keep them away from him? Why should he deny his sexual urges and bloody thoughts? He has them, just like everyone else, so he should accept them.

And, by accepting these parts of him, his creative process will improve too. Thomas won't be forced anymore to pursue only "good", pure, family-friendly ideas: he will be able to do whatever he wants.

May I say something to you to give you a true knowledge of yourself and life? Man in the full knowledge of himself is a superb and supreme creature of creation. When man becomes possessor of the knowledge of himself, he becomes the master of his environment (Freeee)

The message is the same here: when Thomas will acquire "knowledge of himself", he will become master of his environment. By knowing and understanding himself, Thomas will have control over his own potential and desires: all doors will be open for him, all ideas available. He will be free to do whatever he wants.

And Remus will be his detonator, as said in Na Na Na: Remus will gladly help him explore these new ideas and let them "explode" and shine.

But, in order to do all of that, Thomas must get rid of the limitations. And Remus perfectly knows where these limitations come from.

Yes, it's time to talk about society.

Like any good son, Remus embraces dad’s favourite theme and he also has some songs that scream “fuck society”. And especially "fuck people". I can hear Janus proudly hissing in the background.

Let's blow an artery Eat plastic surgery Keep your apology (Na Na Na)

People care only about themselves and their own needs, rather than of the outcome of their actions. People are willing to destroy themselves with unhealthy food choices. People are stupid enough to make life choices purely based on society's expectations.

If all the people dressed like sheeple There would be no color, no color (Trash People)

If all people conform to society's standards and no one takes the initiative, the world would be boring, life would be dull, there would be "no color".

[Duke]: For someone who prefers salty flavors, your videos are rather saccharine. What will your legacy be? Will you even have one? 

It all comes back to DWIT: if Thomas stifles his own creativity and conforms to what society wants, he won’t be remembered. He won’t bring anything new to the world, he will "dress like sheeple", be like all others.

Thomas shouldn’t do that. He shouldn’t stifle his creative power, to please the “sheeple”. He should do the opposite and enjoy life to the fullest, be completely free.

Tonight, I'm gonna have myself a real good time I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out, yeah And floating around in ecstasy So don't stop me now don't stop me 'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time (Don’t stop me now)

Just like Freddie Mercury, Thomas should have "a real good time": embrace the fullness of life, turn the world around, wreak havoc, lose himself. Nothing and no one will be able to stop him from enjoying the sheer beauty of being alive and able to experience everything life has to offer him.

'Cause life's a game, life's a joke Fuck it, why not go for broke? Trade in all your chips and learn how to be free Why abstain? Why jump in line? We're all living on borrowed time So do what you like And we'll like what you do when you do it And if they don't that's fine Fuck 'em! (Fuck it!)

Here we come full circle again: life is a game. Life is a chance out of an eternity of nothingness, life is the one and only chance you have to experience everything, also things “you don’t want to see, hear or experience”. So why the heck not doing it? That's your only chance to do everything. “Trade in all your chips”, bet everything, don’t be afraid to try and experience something new.

(Also, the "chips" reference made me think of Janus’ song “When the chips are down”. That song was about pushing Thomas to take his chance and go to the callback. The same can be implied here too: trade your chips, bet everything on this callback. It's your only chance)

Again: Thomas should be free to do whatever he wants. He doesn’t have to keep himself pure or abstain and follow rules. He's living “on borrowed time”, that's the only life he has. So he should do what he wants, enjoy and create whatever he likes.

“Stop limiting me”, as Remus said.

They say don't take the risk you're sure to fail 'Cause there's no get out of jail free card in life But what's the worst that could happen, end up in a coffin? Isn't that where we're all headed anyway? Can't escape the madness So you might as well embrace it Can't be worse than a nine to five cubicle jail cell Buried under mundane bullshit! (Fuck it!)

(Omg these guys and their “fuck society” attitude. Janus teached them too well.)

Again, there's no point in never taking a risk, in always being cautious about everything because death will come either way. So there's no reason to escape Remus and the madness he brings with him, because he will help Thomas bring color into the world, "leave an impression".

And that would definitely be better than spending all of his life forced into a boring desk job, buried into the same, boring issues.

Or, as Roman said during "Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?":

[Roman]: Thomas, if you put all your passion behind Logan’s daily regiment, you will find yourself years from now having whiled away your best days at a boring desk job, wishing for a better, more exciting life. And every day you will ask yourself, "Why didn’t I do more in my life? Why didn’t I just listen to ROMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN?"

_______________________________

6. How to reaffirm your self-confidence

Songs included: Almost all of them

Here we are, to the final and most important theme which permeates the whole playlist. This was the only perfect speech that flowed from one song to the next one, the easiest one to recognize. And thus, the most important.

Remus’ playlist starts with a proud affirmation of himself.

Oh I am my own damn god. (This Devil's Workday)

Remus isn’t just confident: he OVERFLOWS confidence, to the point of considering himself his own god, the only one responsible for his own actions. He's the only one who can judge whatever he does and thinks. There’s no one else, no other opinion that matters to him.

And the following songs keep reaffirming this bold statement: Remus is wild, creepy, freaky, violent. Whatever he does is part of him and he has no problem in doing it.

Then we reach Tranz and we see his self confidence faltering.

Remus’ self-confidence is deeply tied to his own nature as dark creativity. He’s proud of who he is and what he does, he’s proud to be a volcano of erupting ideas.

But, as we saw, Thomas stifles his own creativity. And stifling someone whose nature is letting things out can’t be good (and it isn’t, as DWIT demonstrated).

So Remus is always struggling between the desire to express his ideas and the constrictions Thomas (and society) put on him. And what he does, when he feels these bonds on him? He searches for the only other Side who can understand his creative struggle.

His brother Roman.

Do you look like me? Do you feel like me? Do you turn into your effigy? Do you dance like this forever?

Does Roman feel the same? Is Roman boiling with ideas and desires all the time, just like Remus? Is the “turning into his own effigy”?

That’s pretty dark, because an effigy is a sculpture of a person, made to be burned/destroyed. So Remus is asking Roman: do you feel like you’re going to burn and die, because you can’t express your ideas? Are those constrictions so tight, to turn you into an empty, dead shell of what you are? Do you feel yourself like being destroyed, because these constrictions don't let you express your full potential?

Did you always feel like this, since the day we were born?

Do you burn like me?

Are you feeling the same burning desire to express yourself? Are you feeling like your own ideas are burning inside you and they’re making you burn too?

If you’re an artist, you know this feeling. The sensation when you don’t create anything and ideas keep repeating in your head, calling you, burning and devouring you from the inside, until you let them flow.

Just imagine how terrible this must be, for someone who IS ideas and creativity. It's like being burned alive. And the more you repress your ideas, the more you feel empty and things stop making sense.

Remus is feeling like this, he’s reaching his lowest point. And that’s when he realizes something:

And I will never be good enough, quietly And you will never be good enough, just like me (Death As A Fetish)

He will never be enough for Thomas. Even if Thomas won’t stifle him, his ideas alone will never be good enough. Even if he tries to change into something more family-friendly, he won’t be good enough. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t help Thomas.

And the same goes for Roman. Roman won’t be able to help Thomas, just by himself. Roman can’t do the full creative work and Remus can’t do it either. They can try to help Thomas, by giving him their “maimed” ideas, but an unfinished idea is still unfinished.

And just when Remus reaches the bottom, Don’t stop me now comes. And this is an explosion of life and pleasure, a strong, vibrant way to send away all dark thoughts. Remus reacts to his depression, by enjoying life even more.

And this reaction led to the realization he got in Things i Don't Remember:

Figured out what we're good for You're the sailor and I'm your port

He and Roman may be useless, if taken by themselves... but they can be useful, if combined. Roman has to be the sailor, the hero, the one who explores creativity, who searches ideas... while Remus is the port, the place where Roman should head to.

I figured out what I'm good for Making anything look better

His realization wasn’t just about his cooperation with Roman: it’s also about himself. Remus thought he wasn’t good enough. Now he realized what he’s good for: make anything look better. Improve the creative process. He can make Roman’s works better through cooperation.

And this new realization reached its peak in fReAkY 4 Life: after accepting life, death and art in all their shades, there’s only one thing left to (re)accept and it’s Remus himself.

My little brain, it isn't the same I told you I'm not the normal type Normal like you, not something I do Even as hard as I try Listen to me, it's the way now You got to believe, what I say now Let your freak flag fly every day now Not taking, not taking, not taking it down

Remus isn’t like Roman. He’s not normal and quiet, like Thomas would like him to be. Even if he tries, he can’t be something he’s not.

Thomas should accept him the way he is. As Logan said, Remus does encompass a portion of Thomas’ creativity, so he’s here to stay. Thomas needs him as much as he needs Roman. He can be useful for the creative process, his input can change something, open new possibilities.

I hear what they call me I hear what they say I'm not very cool, yeah But I'll never change I’ll stick to my guns Then throw them away I'm a freak forever From my cradle to my grave Freak forever, grave Freak forever

In This Devil’s Workday, Remus was celebrating himself to himself. Now he has reached a more mature acceptance. He’s aware of what the others think about him and he knows they don’t appreciate him as much as he would like them to.

But he accepts it. He accepts to not be fully loved by all sides (and Thomas). He’s strange, weird, stinky and that’s how he is. He won’t change, to please society’s standards and adapt. He’s there to bring color into the world and more mature ideas in Thomas’ content.

And he accepts this. Just like he accepted death and sex, Remus embraces everything about him, from his wild unleashed creativity, to his love of life, to his fear of not being enough. He may not be the most loved, he may be too much sometimes, but that’s how he is. And instead of changing to be something he's not, he will keep being true to himself, as he has always been.

_______________________________

“Fuck you!”

Oh, Remus. I love him and his playlist is amazing: wild, funny, full of energy just like him. A lot of those songs went straight into my playlist. He may be terrible and stinky, but he has a goddamn good taste, so hats off to you, you terrible gremlin.

_______________________________

Being Flamboyant

When I listened to fReAkY 4 Life, among the recommended video on Youtube there was Flamboyant.

“Oh”, I remembered. “Flamboyant was one of Roman’s songs, right? Well, the artist is the same, so let’s give it a try.”

And I saw the video.

That video is pure euphoria. I watched it 20 times and every time I feel amazing. It’s not just “extra”: it’s that if you search for the definition of “extra”, you find this video. Dorian Electra IS the definition of extra.

So... do I want to listen to Roman’s playlist now? Yes. Have I already started? Yes. Will I analyze it? Heck yes.

______________________________

PS. If someone wants to be added to the taglists, just ask and I’ll add you :)

TAGLIST:

@willpowerwisps @royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl @shelby-711 @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @sweetkirbi @whatishappeningrightnow  @effortiswhatmatters  @atlasistryingherbest @bella-in-a-bag  @doydoune  @miasheer  @forever-third-wheeling @mishanthropist  @corndot @payte

@riseofthewerewolf @frog-candy-bee @bosspotato01  @rosesandlove44 @methaley @sololad  @firey-alex  @sashootkahoot​ @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan  @croftergamer​ @misty-the-girlflux-mess​  @thedevilseyes​  @arya-skywalker​  @csi-baker-street-babes​ @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@virgildarknessdementiaravenway​ @mishanthropist​  @dracayd-universe​  @unknown-artworks​   @lonelyfangirl453​  @starlightnyx​ @alienvamp-hesitantflowerface​ @stubbornness-and-spite​  @alittletoo-extra​ @averykedavra  @iloveeverytjing123 @bookedforevermore @joyrose-fandomer @anachronismes​ @the-cloud-14​

@thatoneloudowl​  @grayson-22​  @softangryfuckingdepressed​ @theotherella​  @boopypasta​ @nevenastark​ @varthandi @floofyconfusednerd @nothing-worth-mentioning @mikalya12 @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside  @coldbookworm  @orchidstanslogan  @snixxxsmythe  @frog-candy-bee

[magireco]

out of curiosity what do you think of the characterization of homura in rebellion? i hugely dislike it but get the impression you enjoy it which i think is interesting cuz we seem to have very similar thoughts on homura pre-rebellion (CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG)

THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSE IT DEPENDS ON WHAT FLAVOR OF REBELLION HOMURA YOU MEAN. i really really like the way she was done in the first half of the movie but as for the twist at the end...? mmm...

...okay, so... i've been thinking about saying this at some point but i keep avoiding it in fear of causing discourse and such bc... this is a really unpopular opinion apparently, but I really do not think devil homura was done properly. read under the cut if you wanna know why i feel this way!

the first issue i'm going to address is that there wasn't NEARLY enough buildup for it. i'm going to explain this from the perspective of a first-time viewer: what would you have thought would happen after the very last scene of rebellion leading up to them breaking homura out of her soul gem? when homulilly got purified and the flowers on her head turned to sakura flowers (y'know, the flowers that symbolize life and rebirth, homura being reborn from her witch)? did you think homura was suddenly gonna undermine madoka's godliness? because, uh, first-view me did not think that at all. and neither did almost anyone i know who watched it for the first time. not only is that poor setup but it's just so sudden and it feels so out of character compared to what we'd seen in the entire series as a whole, especially considering that the entire last part of the movie leading up until that was about purifying her... and saving her... there wasn't enough buildup. most people are like "but the flower scene happened!" but that's still way too vague...? it's hard to tell what conclusion homura comes to at the end, because we don't get to see any of her internal monologue... there is no other buildup after the flower scene... it just skips to homura realizing she's a witch. wouldn't that bring the viewer to think the flower scene was something that made homura realize she was a witch rather than her suddenly starting to form her plan? it always felt like to me the conclusion homura came to at the end of the flower scene was that she was validating madoka's bravery and telling her that if it ever came to that, she'd have the ability to make that hard decision. which is... so... weird? because i always interpreted that as homura coming to terms with what happened? i could just be interpreting it wrong though, but isn't that supposed to be our proof scene? our buildup scene? why would they make it so hard to understand? we need to know such important buildup points just as blatantly as the natural buildup to homura becoming a witch was. that's just from a moviemaking & writing perspective though.

secondly, i'm gonna discuss homura's motive. i actually ended up understanding were she was coming from after a while of being like "what the hell that makes zero sense!!!!". madoka is a 14-year-old girl who, in order to save the fate of every magical girl, literally had to sacrifice herself and erase herself from the world, and in the end, madoka just ended up saving homura again, and that must've made homura feel like her promise with madoka was never fulfilled. it's unfair what happened when you think about it and the law of cycles should not have been run by madoka herself because she, as any other 14 year old, deserves to be happy on earth. although it was said in magireco that madoka felt happy with what she was doing (and she felt like it truly gave her a purpose), she did admit to feeling lonely and homura probably made that assumption big time. but the way the writers went about it just made her seem so sinister... so out-of-character-ly sinister. what with the evil smirking and the deepened, almost... uh, sensual-seeming voice, and homura completely ignoring madoka's fear. it feels like they twisted her character extremely suddenly and it throws the viewer on a loop. they could've gone with that ending without making such drastic and sudden changes to homura's character, and if they were planning on doing that, why did they not give us more buildup? buildup that wasn't extremely cryptic that you have to scan and search every detail to get a clue? something i love about rebellion is that every time you watch you find something new, but how come some of the only clues illuding to devil homura's existence are in the op? it's odd. why didn't they go with something like making the incubators run the law of cycles? they were the ones at fault for causing it to be created. but honestly, the incubators cannot be trusted with anything, which is why it'd make sense for a magical girl to run the law of cycles, but if homura and madoka had the combined power to do so, what if they just remade the law of cycles so it was less unfair to madoka...? i don't know. either of those possibilites would make more sense than what happened.

something else that kind of irks me about it is that they demonized(literally, lol) homura's love for madoka. homura is very much a canon lesbian, and it's incredibly discomforting to me that they made her seem, outwardly to the viewer, so selfish...? please don't get me wrong, i'm not ACTUALLY calling homura selfish -- i know the entire akumura facade is a mask she put on, but like, it's so much more blatantly sinister than she is in the series when she's putting on the coolmura facade. it's going to really confuse the viewer and see every single one of her actions from the entire series in a completely different light, INCLUDING stuff that happened in rebellion itself. like the genuine sadness homura felt, the way we saw into her soul and felt her pain, that genuinely made a lot of people i've seen think that it was ingenuine upon first inspection... they made homura turn "evil" out of her love for madoka, as if it's a bad thing to fall in love, and as if love for another girl was what corrupted her soul gem... i understand that gen urobuchi probably wanted to explore that kind of path where love leads to obsession or whatever, but homura was selfless to a fault, constantly trying to force herself away from the others in order to not get attached, and deeply afraid of seeming creepy and predatory and scaring(she said this herself), which is exactly what she ends up doing at the end, and i feel so awful that they did that to her... how is the viewer supposed to know what her true motives are at that point? it gets all scrambled up after they did that huge plot twist. i'm going to address another thing super quick before people jump in my ask box over this, i understand also that it would make sense for homura to be obsessed with madoka, but in the series, it was never shown in this light, and like i said, if they were going to do this, why'd they even have the purification scene at the end at all? the buildup is all wrong . it also just made me upset that this ending caused SO many people to start literally believing homura is evil because of her actions at the end, and it made people become even more vehement on their beliefs that homura is obsessive and ps*cho...

i was really confused when i watched it for the first time (and also sobbing hysterically, literally, my funniest rebellion story as someone who has genuinely watched the movie 40-ish times, i remember vividly the first time i watched it i started sobbing on my hands and knees on a yoga mat in my mom's room). also like, just to prove my point a teensy bit more, the ending was so ambiguous and out of nowhere that one of the first google results to "madoka magica rebellion" is "madoka magica rebellion ending explained" because it shocked people so much that that was the first thing they needed to google. also, the fact they left us on such a vague cliffhanger and then abandoned the movie series for a total of 8 whole years only to make a sudden comeback in god's holy year of 2021 was almost cruel. LIKE GUYS I JUST FINISHED UP MY DEVIL HOMURA HEADCANONS IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!!!

...anyways, um, i really have to address the sexualization. madoka magica, previously, was a series that avoided fanservice in the show, at least, but why did they make akumura's design look like that...? it shows an unsettling amount of skin and like, every three seconds in the end they're focusing intensely on her lips and her eyes and... it's almost like the writers forgot she was 14, but they never seemed to forget that in the series? what happened????? in the transformation scene, we get closeup views of homura's thighs and back and stuff and it's all open everywhere... they made her tights into thigh-highs... in the whole series, even when she went to school, she always wore tights, and she was wearing tights in her magical girl outfit too... they absolutely deliberately did that to sexualize her further so they could make official art with her thighs out. speaking of official art that unsettles me, why does so much of the official art make the whole outfit just glued to her body and you can see all the shading on her features... it's just. ugh. anyways.

i went off a LITTLE too much on this and i know this is probably gonna get me some weird glances in the fandom and i am open to hearing other people's opinions but i don't think i'll ever stop disliking the effect this plot twist had on the fandom's interpretation of homura and although i'm like UNDENIABLY incredibly hyper excited for the next movie, i'm kind of...nervous for what this is going to bring? i don't want this next movie to cause the same amount of discourse the ending of rebellion did and i legit just want to see homura happy. another one of my main issues with the ending is just that homura is SO unhappy when she literally deserves to be happy SOOOOOOO BAD and just take a break from all the loops ... i'm Praying to madokami out there that that's what happens.

i know this is all really funny coming from someone who draws devil homura on a regular basis and literally writes her, but like... i'm a lesbian i'm allowed to<3

ANYWAYS thanks for listening this was a fun ask!!!

[pencilofawesomeness]

Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love. 

Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about. 

Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.

There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.

Fairy Dance of Death

by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath​ )

Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing

「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」

If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once. 

It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay. 

Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from. 

Poisoned Dreams

by StrangeDiamond

Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come

「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」

In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling. 

One Word to Change the World

by AgentMalkere 

Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back

「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.

In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」

It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.

Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis

by aradian_nights 

Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete

「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」

This wrecked me.

I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.

I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.

Life in Glass Houses

by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe​ )

Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)

「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」

I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.

Yesterday Upon the Stair

by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom​ )

Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete

「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.

But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.

Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」

As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view. 

I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.

the Vantage Point Universe

by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop​ )

Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)

「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」

// description taken from first installment

Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you. 

I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further. 

Ghosts of the Future

by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio​ )

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing

「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」

// description taken from first installment

Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.

The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.

Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported. 

Whirlwind

by Lynse ( @ladylynse​ )

Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete

「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」

I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.

All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!

[pedroalonso]

it’s so funny to me how the fandom is so divided about palermo’s development there is no middle ground in any of the arguments i’ve seen so far

Martín has always been a divisive character from the start and I honestly love that for him. lmao. But yeah, In truth, I can’t scroll through the LCDP tag without seeing someone ranting about Palermo, either negatively or positively regarding his arc this season.

And after thinking about it for a while, I realize that a large chunk of people’s arguments (my own included) are deeply rooted in personal interpretation and biases. We all have our own takes on a character. We project either our likes or dislikes on them, depending on our own life experiences and beliefs. It’s not wrong to do so, it’s literally a normal thing humans do. To personalize a story in a way that resonates with them.

But at the end of the day, characters are not sentient beings. They are narrative tools to tell a story and move the plot forward. While we can get a gauge of the “basics” of a character from the stuff we are presented with in canon, we can never really be certain about “who they are” because they aren’t real. Their development is dependent on what kind of story is being told, and writers will always adjust their characters to fit the current narrative.

In terms of Volume 1, the writers have always hinted that they wanted to make the final season “an explosive one”, meaning they wanted to make it more action heavy. And looking back on it now, they succeeded in doing what they set out to do. The new season was like an action movie. Lots of gunfire. Explosions. It’s easy to brush it off as LCDP mimicking another Hollywood blockbuster to increase viewership, but I think it made sense. It showed us how dire their situation is in the bank. How much deep shit they were in that the military was willing to bomb the building and inadvertently kill hostages just to catch them. And the first volume ended with the MAIN CHARACTER getting killed off. Like the stakes were so high not even the goddamn narrator survived. The show is literally telling us how fucked things are for the band.

So with that said, the characters adjusted to this “action” movie vibe the writers wanted to go with. And I think they all acted accordingly. There was less conflict within the group because they worked together to beat a common enemy, setting aside their personal issues to get the job done and survive. And while it’s true that some character arcs (Palermo’s especially) had to be set aside, it was because they HAD to in order to move the plot forward. How much sense would it make if Martín kept raving on about the gold when the Bank was literally exploding around him? He’s a chaotic asshole, yeah. But give him more credit than that, he’s not an idiot. The gold can wait. He needs to survive NOW.

And again, narrative wise, who he is in Part 5 directly connects to his last scene in Part 4. He made a promise to do better and they followed it through in literally the first episode of Volume 1, where he’s shown to be more remorseful for his actions. If he just went back to being an angry asshole, it wouldn’t have made sense because otherwise, what was his last scene in Part 4 supposed to be for?? Just for funsies?? No, of course not. They were already foreshadowing where his arc was heading in Part 5.

And I know LCDP sucks at maintaining continuity. There are a lot of plotholes that haven’t been addressed because they probably forgot about it or deemed it unnecessary. (Like me, for example, wondering if Martín knows it was Helsinki who blew up the tunnel that resulted in Andrés death??? Like I want that angst PLEASE).

But, hear me out. What LCDP fails in continuity, they make up for emotional terrorism. Not only are they more than capable of killing off likable characters (NAAAAIROBI), they are also very good at making unlikeable characters… not always loveable. But understandable, in a way. More empathetic. For example: Berlin was 100% a disgusting dipshit in the Mint, yes, but in the end when he sacrifices himself to save the gang and you find out he and the Professor were brothers this whole time? That was a twist. Maybe you didn’t end up liking Berlin, but you felt pain for Sergio for losing someone so obviously dear to him. They made you feel sorry for seeing this asshole go.

Which brings me to my final point. Characters are used to convey a theme. What do they represent in the story? Berlin’s thematic arc in the first two seasons, for example, was him going from a villain to an anti-hero. From the moment we find out about his terminal illness, we knew he was going to die either way. You can see him grappling with his mortality — about the inevitability of his death. And it seemed like he was planning to live out his last remaining years being an asshole surrounded by a shitload of money, until he ultimately dies from his illness.

But then, he sacrifices himself. Not only does he escape the “humiliating” decline that was to befall him when he escapes, he also gave meaning to his death. He, the heartless evil bastard, made himself the hero in the end. How rude!

So, when it comes to Martín, we have to think: What is his purpose in this story? What is the theme he’s trying to convey? Is it the tragedy of an unrequited love? Or is it learning to let it go?

Because looking back in episode two of Part 3, Sergio recruits Martín in a dirty flat in Palermo, littered with empty liquor bottles and Martín himself looking like a mess. When he broaches the topic of the heist, Martín can barely mention Andrés without his voice cracking. And when he and Sergio do discuss Andrés, he screams and gets angry and cries. He was obviously still mourning Andrés, who at this point, died FIVE YEARS AGO. That is not… a normal grieving period. May it be due to the lack of a support system after Andrés’s death (since I doubt Sergio visited), or the lack of real closure between him and Andrés, or something else, the point is… Martín Berrote was not okay. He was still clinging to Andrés in some way. Still unable to move on.

So when Sergio proposes to do the Bank of Spain heist and Martín accepts, his thematic arc began. He is introduced as Andrés’s long suffering best friend who was in love with him for years until he was eventually discarded. A lot of his moments in the show discuss and convey this dynamic. From him telling Sergio he loved the plan as much as he loved Andrés, to Nairobi confronting him about Berlin, to Martín himself telling Helsinki how Andrés leaving him made him the “asshole” he is today.

His theme is not just about his love for Andrés, but his grief and suffering because of it. Where the show will eventually take it is still debate-able, and we’ll have to wait for Volume 2 for that. But viewing Martín’s whole arc in this way, through the scenes they chose to put about him, and the way they connect it to the main plot — his development this season did not come out of the blue. It made logical and narrative sense. It all connects! This was the kind of story they wanted for him from the start.

[elizabeth-mitchells]

the only touchstone of truth - Marla/Fran

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: I Care A Lot (2020) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fran/Marla Grayson Characters: Marla Grayson, Fran (I Care A Lot) Additional Tags: Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Origin Story, Canon Backstory, First Meetings, First Kiss, First Dates, Getting Together, Morally Ambiguous Character, Illegal Activities, Eventual Smut, Flirting, Partners in Crime, crime wives Words: 21010

The American dream. The small business that Marla Grayson built from nothing. And now it's all crumbling down back to... nothing. Marla is left to pick up the pieces of the broken dream, but this time she's determined to start a fire with what she has left. The problem, or rather, the solution, comes in the shape of Fran, a gorgeous woman that, unlikely as it seems, has just as many tricks under her sleeve as Marla. This is how they meet, this is how they fall into each other's dangerous games, and most importantly, this is how they fall in love.

Love, the only honest thing about each other, and the most important part of their story.

Final Chapter:

It was natural, mostly, the way the couple gravitated to spending most of their time in Fran’s home. It was simply much better than Marla’s, and the blonde woman had very clear priorities in her life. One, herself. She wanted to win, she wanted the best of life, she wanted to get everything she desired. And that was a very attractive apartment. And number two… well… it was Fran. So, Marla, never one to half-assing her actions, promptly embraced this new perspective of her life. She stepped into the relationship with all the blazing passion she put into every new project. If in the process Fran managed to reveal an unexpectedly loving side of the ruthless businesswoman, well, that made it all just even better.

Along with their relationship, their newest business adventure was about to begin. This involved a lot of planning, a lot of risks, and also a lot of bright mornings getting ready together in Fran’s house with their best suits. This, of course, very often included some variation of the same incident in which they get distracted with each other and constantly arrive late at important places. 

For example, Marla sitting on the bed, leaning back on her hands, waiting for Fran to come out of the bathroom. When the brunette finally strolled out, she smiled at the sight in front of her and said, “You look great.” Her newest suit really fit Marla perfectly.

“I know,” the blonde tilted her head and extended a hand to beckon her girlfriend closer. “And you’re fucking stunning,” she added. In a second, Fran was standing between her legs, leaning down to kiss her, and stifle a laugh when she felt Marla’s hands eagerly move to their favorite destination to cup her ass.

“We could stay home today, you know?” Fran whispered against the other woman’s lips. It seemed they took turns making such a suggestion, and only rarely did they manage to resist the temptation.

Marla let out a small groan. “No. Today’s important,” she bit Fran’s bottom lip, but then genuinely tried to pull away.

“Come on, Marla,” Fran whispered seductively while moving to kiss and nip at Marla’s neck. She was proud to elicit a pleased sigh from the woman in her arms, and even more overjoyed when she pushed Marla onto the bed and she complied. However, she was happily surprised when, not a second later, Marla had switched their positions and pinned Fran to the bed on her back. The following kiss was positively breathtaking, and it got even better, or perhaps even worse. 

Marla placed a hand firmly on her girlfriend’s chest to keep her laying still on the bed, and then she pulled away to say, “Have you ever heard about marital tax deduction?”

The thoroughly unexpected question on top of their previous activities had Fran gasping for a breath. “You don’t… pay taxes,” was the only thing she thought of.

“I’m just saying,” Marla replied, giving Fran one of her signature shark-like grins, and taking advantage of the brunette’s shock by stealing one last kiss, and then pulling away completely, standing up, and starting to walk away.

“Marla?” Fran called after her. She couldn’t move the bed. She was blushing and her brain was threatening to short circuit. Was that a proposal? It wasn’t like Marla to joke about something instead of outright stating what she wanted. And yet, she wouldn’t bring it up if she hadn’t thought seriously about it on her own before. “Marla!” Fran repeated, jumping out of bed and chasing after the woman of her dreams.

“There are some great financial advantages to a civil union, that’s all I’m saying!” Marla called out already halfway down the stairs.

Both of them were laughing then. Of course, there would be financial gain. Would Marla really do something if there wasn’t some sort of profit for her? Only time would tell how serious she was about the subject, and how far each of them would go for each other.

--

“Well, I’m impressed,” Dr. Karen Amos stated as she leaned back on the chair of her office. 

In front of her, on the other side of her desk, Marla and Fran waited for her answer, wearing matching sly grins, stylish clothes, and perfectly balanced energy radiating between the two of them that she could tell had a lot of potential. She almost had it in herself to feel a spark of jealousy, or envy, But that was quickly overshadowed by her blatant interest in the business offer in front of her. After all, Marla had chosen her for a reason. Marla knew her well enough to know she’d look past their history and say yes to this. 

“Are you in?” Marla asked.

As if anybody could say to her, the doctor thought.

“I’m in,” Karen nodded confidently. “I believe I could even give you a name or two right away.”

While she looked over her files, Fran received a call and excused herself out of the office. With three folders in her hands, Karen returned to her seat and took the opportunity to talk a bit more privately to her ex.

“I have to say,” she started, “I was really surprised by your visit.”

“I hope this is alright,” Marla replied.

It annoyed Karen just the slightest bit, the way Marla was still mostly using her business voice. She shook her head and regarded the other woman silently for another moment. “Of course it is,” she scoffed playfully. They hadn’t been bad for each other, not exactly. Marla had simply made it extremely clear she didn’t want a relationship. That didn’t seem to be the case anymore. “You two look right for each other,” she added, a little more softly, and she meant it. Marla tilted her head and listened attentively.

“Yeah?” the blonde said.

That was better, Karen thought. Marla’s shoulders relaxed. They could be friends after all. “Perfect match,” the doctor grinned.

Marla returned the smile, and she was earnest as she said, “Thank you.” She hadn’t made many friends in her life, for obvious reasons, so this was something she’d come to appreciate deeply.

Just then, Fran walked back into the office, holding her phone. “Sam Rice called,” she told Marla, “He said he would love to meet you.”

“Oh, I know him,” Karen chuckled, “You’ll have him eating off the palm of your hand, Marl.”

Marla and Fran had barely made it out into the parking lot when Fran playfully pushed Marla’s shoulder with hers. “So, Marl, huh?”

“I never liked it when she called me that,” Marla rolled her eyes.

“Cute,” Fran smirked, and delighted in the warning look her girlfriend sent her way. 

--

One more day of work, one more day of the two of them struggling to let themselves walk out the door of the house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Marla asked, running her hands through Fran’s hair in the way she knew her girlfriend adored.

“I thought you hated the surveillance part of the job,” Fran sighed.

“I do, I get restless,” Marla admitted, and dipped her head to start leaving feather-light kisses on the exposed neck of the woman in her arms. “But you make one hell of a sexy spy.”

That comment made the brunette laugh brightly, and wrap her arms tighter around Marla. She let the embrace last a few more seconds of perfect warmth, and then she begrudgingly pulled away. “I gotta go,” Fran said, and kissed Marla’s cheek. “And you have to find us an office.” She slowly walked away, picked up her keys, her helmet, and then paused at the open front door with carefully planned nonchalance. “Hey, I almost forgot,” Fran reached into the back pocket of her pants and then threw a set of keys that Marla easily caught.

“What’s this?” Marla asked with a small frown.

“Your keys to our house, of course,” Fran replied. She was leaning against the doorway, smiling confidently, as if this were an everyday occurrence. “No offense, baby, but your old place doesn’t do you justice.”

Then, just like that, Fran was out of the door, starting her bike, and driving away to stalk their first victim in the business of legal guardians. Marla, on the other hand, was standing in their hallway, lips parted and heart-racing pleasantly. She took a deep breath and, holding her set of kets tightly in her hand, she walked up the stairs to their living room. She had many calls to make. She had to find them an office and staff, and then arrange the official move from her previous apartment into their home.

--

It wasn’t the first time that Marla and Fran walked up the steps that lead to court, and it would be far from the last time. But this would likely be an unforgettable occasion. It was their first hearing with Dr. Karen Amos and a gullible judge to get the legal guardianship of a lonely, rich, old woman.

“Are you nervous?” Fran playfully asked her girlfriend.

“Not so much,” Marla easily replied. “But if we lose again you might have to hold me back or there’ll be casualties.”

The two of them shared a laugh. Marla’s worries were completely unnecessary. Karen’s lies about her patient were spot on, the judge did everything but burst into tears for the fabricated story, and a few signatures later, Marla was legally responsible for the wealth of a woman she’d never met. She had a perfectly calculated plan of what all her next moves would be. Her plan, obviously, included pressing Fran against the wall of a secluded spot of the hallways of court and kissing her like both their lives depended on it.

“Is this going to become a tradition?” Fran gasped with a breathy laugh as she grasped Marla’s short blonde hair.

“God, I hope so,” the other woman chuckled, diving back in for another kiss.

--

Champagne glasses clinked together as Marla and Fran celebrated the success of their first job. An innocent woman locked in a care home, a house sold, everything under Marla’s name, and earning additional money for every overpriced hour they spent stealing from her. It couldn’t be more perfect. Not when Fran is sitting on the chair across from her in the dimly lit restaurant.

“I could get used to this,” Fran smiled. To Marla’s ears, it sounded like something from a dream

“What? Being able to afford this?” she replied. Admittedly, she was a little distracted. The restaurant was colder than expected, so now she was wearing Fran’s jacket over her sleeveless dress, which left the brunette’s arms exposed to Marla’s appreciative blue eyes.

“Winning,” Fran said, “while knowing I’ll be taking you home with me at the end of the night.”

Her words made Marla shake her head fondly. It had been months already. They were living together, and their relationship showed no signs of soothing its fire. In the blink of an eye, Marla could picture an entire life with Fran by her side. It would never stop being exciting, no matter how comfortable and safe they could get with each other. 

“What’s on your mind?” Fran asked softly, sipping her champagne.

“You.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Seriously,” Marla chuckled along with her wife. She took a moment to organize her thoughts and then further explained. “Do you have any idea how unexpected you were to me?” she wondered out loud, and without waiting for an answer she went on. “Not a part of any of my plans. Not even in my wildest dreams. Now I can’t even picture my life without you.”

Fran’s smile never wavered. She took a deep breath and let the precious word settle deep within her heart. “I’m not going anywhere,” she promised and raised her glass again as she added, “Ride or die.”

The smile from Marla then was worth absolutely every risk they would ever take for each other in their lives.

--

“Welcome home, Mrs. Grayson,” Fran playfully said, holding open the door to their offices.

“Oh, come here,” Marla chuckled, grabbing the neck of her girlfriend’s t-shirt and pulling her in for a kiss as they stumbled into the hallway of the place.

It was still empty, and they’d have a lot of work to do, but it was every bit as good as they had imagined it.

“This place is huge,” Fran laughed while they walked around the entire place, stepping into every room and making big plans for the future. “Are you sure this is all necessary?”

“Who cares? We can afford it!” Marla chuckled. Their business of guardianship was taking off, and soon enough she would have these offices filled with employees and clients and victims and power. Then they arrived at the main office, her very own office with the wide windows, big desk, lots of space, and it was all her. “God! It’s gorgeous!” she exclaimed.

“It’s ambitious,” Fran whistled, equally as fascinated with the space.

“Oh, I’ll fill it up, don't worry.” Marla leaned against her desk and sighed contentedly. This was a great step in the right direction, and she was feeling more confident than ever about the path she was following in life.

“With you? I never worry,” Fran swiftly replied.

In a minute, Marla was sitting on her desk, Fran standing between her legs, and they were kissing with all the abandon of being in an office they owned with windows closed and doors closed behind them. The feeling was indescribable, and when Fran expertly started kissing Marla’s neck, the blonde couldn’t help herself anymore, couldn’t hold back a minute longer. She moved her lips close to Fran’s ear and whispered, “Marry me.”

“What?” Fran pulled back instantly, she was shocked and happy in equal measure.

Marla bit her bottom lip and looked deeply into the most perfect pair of brown eyes. A small part of her still believed this was a stupid thing to do, but the greater part of her didn’t even mind being a little stupid for Fran, as long they could do this together for the rest of their lives. “Someday,” Marla said, placing her hand on Fran’s cheek, “When we’re really fucking rich, I’ll marry you, properly. I’ll get you a gorgeous diamond, we’ll travel the world for our honeymoon, everything will be perfect.”

“And right now?” Fran asked breathlessly, although she was nodding already and her voice was trembling.

“Let’s just sign those papers,” Marla smiled, hopelessly in love. “I want to share this with you, completely. The business, the success, the good, and the bad. Partners through and through. Yes?”

“Yes. Yes, absolutely,” Fran replied, without an ounce of hesitation in her body. She pressed their lips together again in a searing kiss. They laughed together, a tear or two might have escaped, and it was only just the beginning.

--

In their offices, a handful of staff was hard at work managing dozens of clients, properties, sales, court visits. In several care homes across the city, men and women of old age cursed the devil of blonde hair and tailored suits that robbed them of their freedom and their money in a mostly legal manner. In Dr. Karen Amos’s office, her patients walked in willingly and innocently, and more often than not their files were shared with a ruthless businesswoman that could put their lives upside down to her will. In their home, their things waited for their return, the kitchen where they shared their meals, the comfortable living room where they made all their big plans, the bedroom that was witness to the most passionate and the most tender displays of the love the couple felt for each other. Finally, in their car, Marla and Fran drove from one place to the other in complete and confident bliss. Business was good, life was better, and legally, they were married. They felt invincible.

“Who’s the next one?” Fran casually asked from her place behind the wheel.

“Hm. Mrs. Feldstrom. She won’t give us too much trouble, I think,” Marla replied. 

“Sounds good,” the brunette nodded. There was a pause then, and Fran couldn’t help the smile that appeared on her lips. She didn’t even need to turn her head to know that Marla had her eyes fixed on her. But she didn’t mind taking her eyes off the road to look at the blonde that stole her heart all those months ago. The expression on Marla’s face was beautiful. “What?” Fran asked her, sounding a little amused.

“You know,” Marla replied, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”