#i forgot what it felt like to see this way

[strnilolover]

⌗ . . . STEPBROTHER!CHRIS CATCHES YOU AND STEPBROTHER!MATT FUCKING IN THE LIVING ROOM

WARNINGS : SMUT. PNV. VOYEURISM. EXHIBITIONISM. DIRTY TALK. HAIR PULLING. ASS SMACKING. (let me know if i forgot anything).

you always disliked when your mom threw little get togethers with her friends and co-workers. your house always being packed inside the house and then the backyard—so you always stayed far away from it. not because you didn’t like them, you just hated the crowds.

and today was one of those days. everyone in the backyard on a hot summer day—the sounds of voices buzzing through the air. you were hot and angry, the sun making you feel like you wanted to peel your skin off, but you couldn’t leave—not while your mom kept her eye on you.

she forced you to stay outside and socialize with people—people who probably wouldn’t understand anything you try to talk about.

you huffed, crossing your arms and trying to sit as much in the shade as you could without bumping into other people. but it was no use. you groaned and turned in the direction your mom was in—seeing her back turned to you with people surrounding her.

when you saw that, you took your chance, slipping in through the back door and trying to walk quickly from the living room—out of her sight. the AC was cold on your skin, your heartbeat finally starting to slow once you made it far enough inside.

“two hours? really? you couldn’t last any longer out there?” a voice said from over by the couch. your feet stopped, whipping your head into the direction it was coming from. matt was standing near the couch, a cold drink in one hand.

you rolled your eyes, letting out a breath as you wandered over to him. “you try lasting out there in ninety-five degree weather for two hours. i promise it isn’t fun.” you snapped back, reaching your hand out as you stood in front of him, snagging his water. matt just watched you, eyebrow raised and a small smirk tugging at his lip.

“why the attitude hm baby?” he asked, watching the way you lifted the cup to your lips, taking a sip from the ice cold water. you glared at him, finishing your sip before holding the glass out to him. “i don’t have a fucking attitude.” that was a lie—you definitely did.

you watched as matt hummed, taking a sip of water for himself before setting his cup down on the table. “no?” he questioned, slowly walking around your body until he got behind you. you could feel the heat from his body as he pressed closer—it wasn’t helping your irritation.

“matt fuck off.” you spat, going to take a step away from him. you didn’t get very far. matt’s arm reached out and wrapped around your waist, pulling your back flush to his chest.

“god, you’re such a brat.” he muttered into your ear, his hot breath trailing against your neck. you shivered, even though the air inside was cool. his hand was splayed flat on your lower stomach, keeping you tight to him. “matt. don’t.” you warned, voice wavering, despite yourself. you glanced over your shoulder, but no one was inside. still, the hum of voices and music from the backyard was way too close for comfort.

“don’t what? don’t do something about your attitude?” he gritted, his hand tightening on your flesh slightly. “you’re the one being a fuckin’ brat and talkin’ back.” you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, feeling the way your body lit up from his words.

matt grinned, feeling the way your body reacted. “you know,” he whispered, starting to push your hips forward until your thighs hit the arm of the couch. your body bent forward, hands coming out under you to catch the fall. “i think that’s what you want isn’t it? acting up just so i’d do somethin’ about it.”

you shook your head. “no..” you mumbled, but the way your body was practically buzzing said a different story. he hummed, splaying a hand on your back and pushing you down farther, making your back arch—ass high up in the air. you gasped when you felt his fingers toy with the hem of your dress, slowly slipping his fingers underneath.

“matt!” you hissed. “they’re outside!—my mom’s—” your words were cut off when matt’s hand came down to strike against your ass, a moan slipping from your lips as the pain blossomed across your skin. “shh keep that pretty mouth shut baby, unless you want them to hear you.” and you couldn’t help the way your body tingled at the thought of someone hearing you—or catching you. you were so out in the open, one good look through the giant glass door and everyone would see what was going on.

you squirmed, your ass wiggling in front of matt—practically teasing him. he groaned, grabbing the fabric of your dress and pushing it past your ass to rest on your hips. his eyes glanced down, seeing the growing wet patch in the center of your panties.

“look at you.” he cooed, bringing his freehand down to ghost along your inner thighs, leaving light taps. “such a wet pussy for someone who said she wasn’t acting up just to be punished.” you could hear the mocking tone in his voice—feel the way his fingers would inch closer and closer to the edge of your panties before slipping away.

you whined, pushing your hips back as your mind began to turn to mush, forgetting about the party just outside those doors. “tsk tsk.” matt clicked his tongue, his hand coming back down again on your ass, your skin reddening. your body jolted at the contact, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you felt your slick flow out of you more.

“such a little whore.” he said, his hand hooking into your panties and dragging them slowly down your thighs, past your knees, until they rested around your ankles. “stay right there yeah? don’t. move.”

and then he spat on your folds—watching as it trailed down your slit. you whimpered, thighs twitching from the sensation alone. his fingers dragged through it, spreading it over your pussy, up and down, slow and messy. “fuck.” he hissed under his breath as he slid two fingers through your folds again, watching the way you clenched around nothing and whined, your back arching deeper.

“gonna fuck you right here baby. y’gonna let me?” he whispered, leaning down to talk against the shell of your ear—his chest flush against your back. “right where anyone could easily see?” you shook your head, but your moan betrayed you the second his fingers circled your entrance.

“mhm thought so.” he grinned, leaning back up and grabbing at your hips. his other hand reached down to tug his sweats down, freeing his cock. he gripped the base, leaning forward to spit, letting it trail down his dick before be gave himself a few pumps. your heart was pounding in your ears, it was so quiet in the house, except for the muffled music coming from outside. your head lifted slightly, looking in the direction of the back door—you could see so many people outside, but their attention wasn’t focused anywhere in the house.

your head turned, looking over your shoulder at matt. and fuck did he look good. with his hand wrapped around his leaking cock—the hem of his shirt pulled up and tuck between his teeth to keep it up. you shuddered, your hips moving back towards him. “matt, please.” you whined softly, the ache between your legs becoming too much now.

matt smirked, moving to line himself up, his other hand still gripping the flesh of your hip. “please what, hm? be a good girl and use your words or you ain’t getting what you want.” he said, pressing forward. you could feel the tip of his cock press inside you before he moved back. you whined again, pressing your face down into the cushion of the couch. “please—please..want you to fuck me.” you whispered, your face reddening in embarrassment.

“mm good girl. that wasn’t so hard was it?” he praised, his hips pushing forward again, dragging his cock along your folds before he pushed inside again—filling you inch by inch. you gasped as he stretched you open, your hands coming out to grab at the cushions below you. “o-oh fuck.” you moaned, your walls clenching down around him.

matt grunted, his head tipping back at the feeling of your cunt swallowing him whole, dragging a filthy curse from his lips as he bottomed out. his fingers dug deep into your hip, holding you in place as he started to move slowly. “so fuckin’ pretty.” he muttered—his head falling back down to look at you. his free hand coming up now to tangle into your hair, tipping your own head back.

his hips began to pick up the pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing throughout the living room along with your moans and his groans. “god—you’d love it if someone walked in right now hm? watching the way your cunt greedily takes my cock.” matt grunted, feeling the way your walls clamped down around his cock. your mouth dropped open, a loud almost pornographic moan coming from your mouth. all you could do was grab at the couch, trying to ground yourself as his tip continued to kiss your g-spot over and over again.

but what either of you didn’t know—is there was someone watching as matt’s hips slammed into your own. watching how he fucked you dumb, loosing all coherent words.

his brother chris. your other stepbrother.

he was outside with everyone else who seemed to be too oblivious and caught up in what they were doing to notice you getting bent over the arm of the couch.

the second he’d come around the corner with a drink in hand and seen you bent over the couch, bare and taking matt deep—he stopped. he hasn’t meant to stop and watch—to get so wrapped up in watching the way you took every inch his brother gave you. the way your face contorted with pleasure every time matt’s cock kissed your cervix.

god he was entranced by how good you looked.

his body was still, heart thudding heavy in his chest as his eyes locked on the sight through the glass. he couldn’t hear you—but he didn’t need to, to know you sounded like a fucking angel.

his breath grew heavier the longer he watched, feeling the way his cock became painfully hard in his pants. he let out a shaky breath, pulling his gaze away from you to look around the yard—no one had noticed still. chris swallowed thickly, his free hand reaching down to adjust himself as his eyes landed back onto your figure.

he watched matt’s hand in your hair, pulling your head back just to make you arch more. your ass jiggling from the force of each thrust of matt’s cock. watched as matt leaned down and whispered something into your ear, making your eyes roll back as your own lips moved to reply. chris didn’t know what it was matt said—but what he did know, is it effected you.

your body began to shake—teeth digging into your bottom lip to stay quiet.

chris knew you were getting close, and god he wanted to stay to watch you cum—but he knew if he didn’t leave now, he’d cum in the next few second just from seeing you. so quickly and quietly—without dragging attention to himself—he slipped away. the image of you burned into his mind.

back inside—your brain was mush. you were chasing your pleasure. matt’s cock hot and thick as he dragged it along your walls. you could feel him pulsing—feel just how close he was to cumming just like you were.

“y’gonna cum baby?” he moaned, fucking his cock deeper into you. “gonna make a mess all over my fucking cock hm? such a messy fucking slut.” his hand in your hair pushed your head down into the cushions.

and that’s what pushes you over the edge.

“pleasepleaseplease—oh my fuck—“ you cried out, your mouth open and drooling against the cushion. you felt your whole body lock up and shake as you came. your walls fluttering around his cock—milking him for all he has. he groaned, his hips faltering for a second before he kept moving, fucking you through your orgasm.

you collapsed against the couch, the only thing holding you up now was matt’s own hands, his hips moving to chase his own high. “gonna fill this pretty pussy up—fuck.” you could tell he was so close, your hips shallowly moving and fucking yourself on his cock despite how tired you were now. “put your panties back on and send you out there with my cum dripping down your thighs.”

his thrusts were getting sloppy now, hips stuttering. you lifted your head and looked over your shoulder at him again, looking at his face. his brows knitted together and his teeth digging into his bottom lip. “c’mon matt—shit—want you to fill me up. please.”

that seemed to be his breaking point.

he groaned loudly, both hands grabbing at the flesh of your hips as he buried himself deep in your cunt—spilling inside you. you could feel each spurt painting your insides white—and how full you felt of him.

his hips moved a few more times before he finally pulled himself out slowly, watching as some of his cum began to leak out of you. he smirked down at you, seeing how you were already beginning to doze off. quickly he began to tuck himself back into his sweats before turning his attention to you.

he reached for your underwear that was around your ankles, slowly sliding them back up your legs and pulling them snugly over your hips to where they belonged. you whined at the feeling, your body shuddering. matt continued to fix your clothing before he reached down and gently pulled you up and into his arms.

he fixed your hair and dress, making sure you looked presentable before even thinking about sending you back out there. the last thing he did was trail his hand down and press his fingers against your now clothed and soaked pussy, making you gasp and grab at his shirt due to how sensitive you were.

“gonna keep my cum right in there yeah?” he whispered, beginning to circle his fingers. you nodded, legs shaking and threatening to give out from under you. he smiled, pulling his fingers away. “good.”

and just then you both heard the door open, your heads whipping in the direction as you both peeled yourselves away from one another, just as your mom stepped inside.

“there you are!” your mom said with a tone of relief like she was looking for you the whole time—she probably wasn’t. her eyes panned over to matt, giving him a small smile before turning her attention back to you. “i see you and matt are finally getting along, that’s good for you guys.”

you nodded, cheeks reddening as you looked at him from the corner of your eye. your mom smiled wide, already beginning to turn away from the both of you.

“come on you two, i need your help with handing out food.” she spoke as she already began to walk towards the kitchen. you and matt both looked at one another, a smirk tugging on his lips as you began to walk. his hand came out and landed a firm smack to your ass.

“get goin’ baby. don’t keep your mom waiting.”

a/n : guys…is this too freaky?

[u531355an0ma1y]

What if, now hold your horses, instead of danny being shot down by the GIW and (while Damian is panicking) the batfam finding out what Damian did to Danny. so, basically what im going with this, is a AU.

So, Bruce is having a really bad day, and he wants to watch something good something he knows will make his day brighten up, (-y’know how parents like watching their children get along?- yeah, basically that) so he puts on one of the older random camera footage where he can see Danny and Damian in the same frame (because he has a absurd amount of camera angles and cameras in general. So obviously he’s going to have some footage of all the “accidents” ((do you see where im going with this? :] )) )

Also, he probably has a few old security cameras (either he forgot to replace them, hasn’t had the time to replace it, or just lowkey has it for a back-up plan for a back-up plan. Probably because a few old camera models are much more sturdy than modern cameras((incase of like a black out or something magic, idk, im not batman :P)) ) and they work on danny because he’s been around them to much and they just- absorbed ecto or/and they are a older model, and it’s easier to capture supernatural stuff.

anyways, he puts on the footage, kicks back, and tries to relax before clicking play, and behold! He watches danny die! But not just in a simple stab or something easy like that!

no.

That would be too merciful.

(Imagine this is one of damian’s first tries on Danny’s life. It’s bound to be brutal :]) So, instead of being relaxed, Bruce tenses up and immediately sits up straight, absolutely godsmacked. And like he just watches Damian stare at the body (after he stabbed, choked, or etc.), check the pulse multiple times, waits for the body to get cold, and then starts tearing his limbs apart taking out his organs or whatever, (in the cleanest way possible, trying to make sure he doesn’t come back to life((it doesn’t work :P)) ), watch the dismembered corpse for a few minutes, before exiting out of the room with a satisfied expression.

And, Bruce just watches all this happen, absolutely dissociating. In this situation, what would you do? He just stays there for a few minutes (-each second felt like a hour as he had an out of body experience, he knows what he saw, but he just can’t comprehend it. His body felt like jello, he feels like he’s standing up, but he just doesn’t know anymore.) even after the camera goes static as the blobs (-that are where Danny’s mingled body should be) start moving back together, and everything goes back to normal, no blood, no knife (or string), and no dead Danny.

Anyways just a little idea! I probably wanted to write more but i have bad memory. :P

(Also excuse me for my bad english and grammar mistakes, im still learning the language, ((why is there so many variations of the same word and the way it’s spelt?!?)) ).

He's supposed to be invincible - DC X DP

Just something random that came to my mind.

So, Danny ends up being adopted/fostered by Bruce just months before Damian arrives at the manor, the how and why is your choice, but the GIW is still a threat. 

Now, Danny catches Damian attacking Tim the first time and instead of telling the rest of the family or scolding Damian, he went lik:

“You haven't even defeated me, and you think you have a right to attack Tim? Get in line, kid.”

And so Damian understands that to get the right to fight against Tim, he needs to get rid of Danny first. Climb the power pyramid, if you will. And so, Damian starts his assassination attempts against Danny. 

But here's the thing: Danny is making absolutely no effort to stop him, he just takes the attempts. The first time, Damian successfully stabs Danny, and goes to announce his victory over Danny to his father. Bruce rushes to Danny, worried for his safety, and finds him just chilling there, not a single drop of blood or injury. Damian is gapping.

“Oh yeah, the kid beat me in a round of hide and seek. He’s pretty good.”

Bruce is relieved and pats Damian’s head, not noticing his utter confusion. And so a cartoon-like montage starts: Damian attacks Danny and claims victory, but Danny is completely fine, and says Damian won at some random game. Everyone thinks the two are super close, and that Damian’s excitement about winning is super cute. 

Eventually, positive enforcement wears Damian down, because everyone congratulates him and gives him affection for winning the “stupid things” Danny comes up with. He gradually calms down and integrates pretty well. Danny does end up being his closest sibling because he’s the only one that actually knows all of Damian. The only one Damian could attack with zero restraint and still be treated the same. 

But the important thing here is: Danny becomes an invincible figure in Damians mind. He could be stabbed, decapitated, poisoned, and still come back like nothing happened.

So surely, when Phantom is shot out of the sky by a Blood Blossom, surely he’ll just stand back up in a minute like always. Surely, he’s just waiting to get back to the cave to pretend like he always did for Damian. Surely, he’s just putting on a show on the medbay. 

But hours go by, and he’s still pretending. Still looking pale. Still keeping his eyes closed.

Damian doesn’t understand why he hasn’t bounced back yet. He should be okay by now. Alfred is moving around, changing the IV,dabbing Danny’s head with a damp cloth. There’s commotion outside as everyone is trying to get an antidote.

But this shouldn’t be happening. 

Danny is invincible.

Danny should be back to normal already.

So Damian starts shaking Danny. Screaming to stop pretending and tell them he was beaten in some stupid game again. To open his eyes already. 

Father is pulling him away, trying to calm him down, but he keeps struggling in his arms, because he’s getting Danny to wake up. 

And he doesn’t notice the tears falling down his face until he runs out of energy, and all that’s left is hiccuping in his father’s arms.

...

So… yeah, that’s what my mind supplied today while on the bus :)

Maybe one day I'll write it, but I don't have time, so I would love to see someone else's take on it.

[bangchangbinnie]

You Started It / TXT OT5

Pairing: chubby!fem!reader x OT5

A beach day gone wrong—or very, very right. You accidentally pack the wrong bikini. The boys notice. One by one, they take you apart. And you? You take every inch.

EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD MDNI 18+!!🔞

cw: creampie, piv, unprotected sex (DONT BE SILLY >:(), multiple members, nip slip???, ALL of txt are perverts tbh, blowjob (one), group sex, oral (f & m r.) overstimulation, size kink, body worship, praise and degradation, cumplay/breeding kink, all in all very wet

First smut I’ve ever posted :0

—————

It was just supposed to be a beach day.

You’d grabbed a bikini last minute,on sale, barely tried on,and tossed it into your bag without a second thought. The tag said it was your size. Maybe it used to be.

Maybe it wasn’t anymore.

You didn’t realize until you were standing at the edge of the beach towel, towel in one hand, the sound of waves behind you, five pairs of eyes in front of you.

The bikini top barely covered your tits. A little underboob peeked out each time you moved. The bottoms sat low, hugging your hips, dipping under your soft tummy in a way that felt… borderline indecent. And the cut in the back? Not quite a thong, not quite full coverage. Just enough cheek to make it worse.

You tugged nervously at the hem of your bikini top, the fabric stretched tighter than you remembered when you tried it on alone in your bedroom mirror. The snug material dipped low over your chest and clung to every soft curve like it had been poured onto you.

“Is this… too much?” you asked, voice barely above a whisper, heat creeping up your neck.

Silence.

Not a single word left their lips.

Yeonjun’s gaze locked onto you like he was physically incapable of looking anywhere else. His eyes dragged over your figure with a stunned intensity,so focused he forgot to blink, his jaw slightly slack. If you looked closely, you could see the pulse in his throat jump.

Beomgyu let out a low whistle that sliced through the quiet like a hot knife. His hand ran through his hair, disheveling it more than usual, the sound of his exhale practically a groan. His gaze dropped to your thighs, then lower, before darting back up and away like he got caught doing something he shouldn’t.

Kai’s lips parted like he was about to speak—but nothing came out. His eyes, usually so gentle and playful, were wide with something heavier. Hungrier. He shifted where he stood, hands flexing at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them.

Taehyun cleared his throat, the sound rough and abrupt. He turned his face so fast it looked forced—too quick to be casual, too obvious to be natural. But not before you caught the flicker of something dark and heated in his gaze.

And Soobin…

Soobin just stared.

Completely still.

Eyes wide, pupils blown, mouth slightly open. His water bottle was lifted halfway to his lips but frozen there, forgotten. A single bead of condensation slid down the plastic and fell to the ground. He didn’t even blink as his gaze swept over you,slowly, like he was memorizing every inch of bare skin, every dip, every curve. He looked almost dazed.

“Guys?” you asked again, voice quieter now. Self-consciousness crept up your spine, curling around your ribs like ice. Your arms crossed instinctively over your chest, trying to shield yourself from their stares,but it was too late. The image of you in that too-small bikini was already burned into their minds.

Soobin finally blinked.

And then swallowed.

Hard.

Yeonjun was the first to snap out of it.

“No—no, it’s not too much,” he blurted, voice pitched higher than usual as he rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes flicked upward, trying to focus on your face and only your face. “You look—uh. It’s a good color on you.”

You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. That wasn’t exactly a denial. Just a very panicked attempt at diplomacy.

Beomgyu, sprawled out on his towel like he owned the sun, let out a low snort. “I’m gonna need to swim immediately before I lose my mind.” he muttered under his breath, dragging the heel of his palm down his face. He didn’t even try to hide the way his eyes lingered on the way your suit cut into the plush curve of your waist.

Kai laughed, but it came out strangled,tight and breathy. “Sun’s really… warm today,” he offered lamely, snatching a towel and tossing it over his lap with a speed that made your eyes narrow. His fingers tugged at the edge like he was afraid it would move, like something under there needed to stay hidden.

You blinked, and frowned.

You didn’t get it at first. You weren’t trying to tease them.

You had just picked the wrong size online. That’s all. The top was snug and the bottoms rode higher than you meant, but it wasn’t like you’d done it on purpose. You didn’t think about what it would look like to them.

So you sat down on your towel,right in the center of their little circle,legs tucked off to the side, thighs soft and glowing under the sun. You stretched your arms up with a sigh, letting the sunlight kiss your skin. Then leaned back on your hands, completely unaware of what you were doing.

But they noticed. Oh, they noticed.

Your chest pushed forward, tits straining against the small triangles of fabric, the tie between them visibly tugging with the pressure. Your stomach curved out just slightly, soft and inviting, the bikini bottoms dipping into the plush dip of your hip bones. A bead of sweat rolled down your collarbone and disappeared between the valley of your breasts.

That’s when you felt it. The stillness. The silence stretching a second too long. The way the boys weren’t talking anymore. Weren’t laughing. Not like before. Not normally. Their breathing was quieter now—heavier.

Measured.

You caught Yeonjun sneaking a glance, then looking away so fast it looked painful. Beomgyu blatantly stared before pretending to sip from an empty bottle. Kai fiddled with the towel in his lap, but his eyes kept flickering back to the tops of your thighs. Taehyun said nothing at all, but you felt his eyes on you, like a touch.

And Soobin…

Soobin hadn’t moved. His gaze lingered for too long on your stomach. Your chest. Then flicked up guiltily to your face. His cheeks were a furious shade of red.

That’s when it hit you. You weren’t just hanging out anymore. You were the problem, or at least, that’s what it felt like. Like your body, soft and bare and squeezed into this little bikini, had completely unbalanced the air. Their composure cracked like glass under your weight, and yet you still didn’t cover up.

Not yet. Not when part of you… liked the way their gazes burned.

Taehyun didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t watching as you bent forward to grab the bottle of sunscreen from your bag. His gaze dragged down the arch of your back, lingering where your bikini top strained against your shoulder blades and the lower strap cut across the curve of your sides.

You were oblivious to the way his jaw flexed, until he spoke.

“Need help with that?”

His voice came out lower than usual. Tighter. Rough around the edges, like it was being held back by sheer force of will.

You blinked at him, then tossed the bottle with a small smirk. “Sure. Back and shoulders?” He caught it with one hand,barely, and swallowed so hard you saw his throat bob.

The cap clicked open with a snap that felt unnecessarily loud in the thick air between you. You pulled your hair to the side, exposing the length of your back, and turned to face forward again. The sun warmed your skin, but it was nothing compared to the heat that bloomed the moment Taehyun touched you.

His hands weren’t rushed. They were slow. Intentional. He rubbed the lotion into your skin with firm, even pressure,palms sliding over your shoulders, fingers brushing the straps of your bikini with maddening hesitation. It was like he wanted to stay respectful but couldn’t help himself. Like each pass of his hand was a battle between discipline and desire.

You heard it then. The sharp inhale just to your left. Yeonjun.

You turned your head just slightly and saw his hand twitch against the towel, curled into the fabric like he was anchoring himself. His eyes were fixed on where Taehyun’s hands met your bare skin, his chest rising and falling with shallow, barely contained breaths.

Beomgyu groaned and threw himself onto his back, slapping a wide-brimmed straw hat over his face. “I’m not looking,” he muttered, voice strained. “I’m not looking. I’m not looking.”

No one believed him, though. Not with the way his legs shifted restlessly under his towel.

Kai, on the other hand, definitely was looking.

Elbows on his knees, chin resting in one hand, his gaze traced the shape of your body like he was trying to memorize it. His lip was caught between his teeth, biting down hard. The towel in his lap had shifted slightly,and he didn’t seem to notice. Or care.

Then there was Soobin. Poor, sweet, quiet Soobin.

He hadn’t moved a muscle, but he was absolutely dying. His entire face had turned a soft, lovely shade of red,one that deepened when your thighs shifted and the inside of them caught the light. His eyes darted there once,just once,but that was all it took. He froze, stiff and silent, his water bottle now crushed slightly in his grip.

You glanced over your shoulder at Taehyun. “You okay back there?”

His thumbs brushed the top of your spine, pressing in like he was grounding himself.

“Peachy,” he replied, voice a little hoarse.

———-

It was subtle at first.

The way the atmosphere shifted.

The fidgeting. The glances. The fact that none of them could sit still around you anymore, not comfortably. They adjusted their towels, cleared their throats, scratched at nothing. Their hands wandered aimlessly: to water bottles, sunglasses, already-read pages of books they were no longer focused on.

But the moment you stood? Everything shifted.

You didn’t mean to move like that. Didn’t mean to tease.

You just walked, but your hips swayed with every step, natural, rhythmic, soft flesh shifting beneath the too-small bikini. Your thick thighs brushed with each stride, the hem of the bottoms clinging snug between them, making you tug lightly at the wedgie that refused to stay fixed. The motion only made it worse. Or maybe… better, from their point of view.

Five heads turned at once. Their silence roared louder than the waves.

You stepped into the water, squealing softly as the cold nipped at your ankles and calves, the sudden chill a sharp contrast to the heat baking your skin. You waded deeper, letting the ocean climb up your thighs, then your hips. You laughed, tipping your head back, scooping the water up and splashing it onto your chest, gasping as it hit your skin, nipples visibly hardening through the thin, wet fabric.

On the shore, they didn’t move. They watched you like you were a vision, some kind of fantasy.

Soobin leaned toward Kai, voice hushed like he was scared you might somehow hear from all the way in the water. “Did she always look like that?”

Kai exhaled, eyes glazed over. “No,” he whispered. “She didn’t always wear that.”

Taehyun stayed quiet, fingers dug into the towel beneath him like he was grounding himself, jaw tight as he tracked every glint of sun off your wet skin.

Beomgyu still had the hat over his face, but you could see his chest rising faster now. Could see his leg bouncing. He hadn’t looked away once.

Yeonjun stood up suddenly, pacing in a tight, erratic line. “Okay,” he said, flustered, practically manic. “We can’t all be freaks. Someone. Someone normal go out there and splash her. Just, like, splash her. Like a normal person.”

No one volunteered. No one moved.

Soobin muttered under his breath, “You go splash her.”

“Me?” Yeonjun pointed at himself, scandalized. “I’m the only one not hiding a boner right now.”

Beomgyu wheezed from under his hat. Kai didn’t deny it. Neither did Taehyun.

And Soobin…

Soobin finally looked away from the water, flushed and frowning, like he hated himself for wanting to look again.

Out in the ocean, you floated on your back, blissfully unaware of the fire you’d lit behind you.

———

Beomgyu raised his hand, voice flat. “I will sacrifice myself to flirt publicly.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then…

“No flirting.”

Soobin’s voice cut through the tension, low and unexpectedly firm.

Everyone froze.

“…No flirting?” Beomgyu echoed, arching a brow, as if that was the most outrageous thing said all day.

Soobin cleared his throat, suddenly flustered. “I meant…shut up.” Beomgyu smirked. Taehyun looked away with a tight-lipped smile. Kai bit down on his bottom lip, trying not to laugh, but Soobin didn’t smile back.

Eventually, they all joined you in the water, one by one. Slowly. Trying to play it cool. Trying to act like it was normal. Like they weren’t all hard and suffering.

Yeonjun was first, running in fast and diving under to hide how low his swim trunks had started to sit. Kai followed close behind, laughing too loud, splashing Beomgyu on the way in like it gave him an excuse not to look directly at your chest.

Taehyun waded in carefully, keeping his hands beneath the surface, jaw clenched.

Soobin came last. He walked in stiffly, chest rising with every slow breath, water licking higher and higher up his body like it was trying to cool him down, though it did absolutely nothing.

Once they were close to you? That was a different story. It didn’t get easier for any of them. You couldn’t keep your distance. You leaned into them.

You wrapped your arms loosely around their shoulders as the waves gently lifted your body. Clung to them for balance. Laughed and floated, your weight shifting with the tide, your skin brushing theirs in innocent, unbearable contact.

Your thighs, soft and slick, slid against theirs when you hooked your leg lazily over their hips.

Your chest pressed against their chests, barely covered by wet fabric, nipples clearly visible through the soaked bikini top. The cool water made you shiver, but the warmth of their bodies pulled you closer. And every time a wave nudged you forward, you didn’t stop it.

You let yourself collide. You let them hold you, and each time, you felt the reaction.

Fingers dug into your waist, tight, almost possessive. The kind of grip that lingered even after they let go, like they didn’t realize they were holding you that hard. You could feel the tremble in their hands beneath the surface of the water, their restraint stretched thin.

Warm palms slid down to the backs of your thighs when you drifted too close, subtle at first, until their grip firmed, fingertips pressing into soft skin like they needed to ground themselves or they’d lose control completely.

Every time your skin brushed theirs, muscles flexed beneath your touch. Chest to chest. Hip to hip. That raw tension in their bodies, coiled tight, told you more than words ever could.

Their voices betrayed them more than once.

Yeonjun’s laugh cracked mid-sentence, a little too high. Beomgyu mumbled something that dissolved into a groan. Taehyun kept clearing his throat like he was trying to chase the rasp out of his voice.

Kai’s gaze was the loudest of all.

His eyes kept darting down and away, pretending to admire the water, the sky, literally anything else, but every time he thought you wouldn’t notice, his gaze locked onto you, onto the wet fabric clinging to your chest, the beads of water sliding down your stomach, the plush curve of your thighs beneath the rippling waves.

He stared too long, then looked away too fast and then stared again like he couldn’t help it. None of them could. Your body wasn’t just in their space anymore. It was everywhere.

Wrapped around them, slick with salt and sun and barely covered in wet fabric. Floating between them, brushing against them, igniting every nerve like a live wire.

None of them knew what to do with themselves.

Yeonjun gave up pretending entirely, the pink tip of his tongue wetting his bottom lip as you floated into him, tits pressing into his bare chest. “You’re dangerous,” he muttered under his breath, but he didn’t let go.

Beomgyu lifted you halfway out of the water once—gripping your waist like it was second nature, only to drop you with a sudden splash like it would erase the moment. It didn’t.

Soobin didn’t touch you for the longest time, but then your hand reached out for his shoulder as a wave rocked you, and your body slipped slightly, legs brushing his under the surface, your hand sliding across his chest.

He caught you.

Of course he did.

You slipped, just enough for it to matter, and Soobin’s arms were already there before you even called out. One strong hand clamped around your waist, the other steady at the small of your back, keeping you afloat like your body was made of something precious. Fragile. Dangerous.

His grip wasn’t hesitant. It was firm. Anchoring. His fingers splayed wide across your skin, pressing into the dip of your waist where the curve began, thumb brushing just under the edge of your bikini top, like he didn’t know or didn’t care how high he’d gone.

And then…his eyes met yours.

Chest to chest, water lapping between your bodies, the distance between your mouths was barely a breath.

Your lips parted.

His did too.

The tension between you snapped taut like a bowstring drawn too far. Every cell in your body felt aware, too aware, of his closeness. The heat of his breath mixing with yours. The tremble in his fingertips. The way his pupils were blown wide, drunk on adrenaline or desire or both.

“You okay?” he asked. His voice was rough.

Not because he meant it to be but because he couldn’t help it. You nodded, slowly. “Yeah.” But neither of you moved.

Your lips hovered too close. The kind of closeness that made your heart stutter and your breath catch. The kind that felt like gravity, like inevitability. Like if either of you so much as swayed, you’d kiss.

All of them saw

Yeonjun froze mid-step, jaw clenching as his gaze locked onto the space between your mouths. Beomgyu stopped laughing. His smirk faded into something unreadable, darker. Taehyun stood utterly still, his shoulders tense, chest rising a little too sharply. Kai… Kai’s eyes widened, his expression flickering between fascination and something like jealousy.

The tension wasn’t silent anymore. It wasn’t subtle. It was loud in its stillness. It demanded attention. Thick and oppressive, like the sun had dropped closer to the earth just to watch.

And all you had to do was keep floating. Keep pretending your chest wasn’t pressed to his. That your thighs hadn’t slid over his lap under the water. That you didn’t feel his breath ghost across your cheek like a promise.

———-

Later, after the sun had dipped lower in the sky and your skin was still warm from salt and heat, you stood at the edge of the beach, towel in hand, brushing off the sand that clung to your thighs.

Soobin watched you.

From behind his sunglasses, half-reclined on a chair he hadn’t moved from in nearly thirty minutes, he just… stared. Not distractedly. Not casually. With intent. With weight. Like he was trying to memorize every inch of you now that the water no longer distorted your shape now that the wet fabric clung tighter, outlining everything the waves had once hidden.

He didn’t flinch when you caught him.

You arched an eyebrow, smirking to yourself, and bent to shake out your towel. A playful flick of your wrist, your hips tilting just slightly, ass angled back as you gave the damp cloth a snap in the breeze.

That’s when you heard it..

A sharp, sudden cough.

You straightened and turned. Soobin had definitely choked. His hand hovered in front of his mouth, eyes wide behind dark lenses. His chest rose in a shallow breath, and his jaw tensed hard enough to tick.

“You okay?” you asked, amused, slinging the towel over your shoulder.

He lowered his hand, slowly. Pulled his sunglasses down just enough for you to see his eyes. Dark, glossy, burning with something he hadn’t yet said out loud.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to us, do you?” he rasped. You blinked. Caught off guard. “I… just bought the wrong size.”

Your voice was soft. Honest. Almost shy. Soobin’s smile in response was anything but innocent. It curled up slow, like it knew something.

“That’s the problem,” he murmured.

There it was. The tension you thought had peaked earlier? It surged again, hot and electric, crawling up your spine, settling low in your belly. The way he said it wasn’t teasing, but a confession.

That’s the problem.

That you didn’t know what you were doing. That you didn’t mean to drive them crazy, but you were. That your softness, your skin, your shape, the stretch of that little bikini, they’d been suffering through it all day.

Now? Now it was starting to show.

———-

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, staining the sky in soft oranges and dusky pinks. Shadows stretched long over the sand as the day’s heat clung stubbornly to your skin, sticking grains of salt and sunscreen to your thighs. Everything smelled like summer, warm skin, coconut lotion, and the fading tang of the ocean breeze.

Everyone was sun-dazed and loose-limbed, voices slower, laughter easier.

But the ease didn’t last.

The moment you all reached the van, parked just off the beach path, reality hit like a brick to the face.

The back was stuffed.

Coolers. Inflated floaties. A folding beach umbrella that no one managed to close properly. A stack of towels, bags of snacks, Beomgyu’s inexplicably large duffel bag full of God-knows-what. It looked less like a day trip and more like an emergency evacuation.

“There’s only five seats,” Yeonjun muttered, staring into the packed abyss like it had personally offended him.

Kai ducked his head into the back and grimaced. “Back seat’s stuffed to hell,” he confirmed. “There’s no room unless you wanna sit on the watermelon.”

You blinked. “Wait… so where am I supposed to sit?” Five pairs of eyes turned to you at once.

And something about that look, the shift, the tension that immediately snapped into place, made your stomach dip.

Like they’d all just been waiting for this moment. Then, in rapid succession:

“I’ve got space,” Yeonjun said quickly, patting his lap with exaggerated enthusiasm, eyes already gleaming with challenge.

“She can sit on me,” Beomgyu added, slinging his arm over the door frame with a cocky grin. “I’ve got excellent shock absorption. Certified.”

“No,” Soobin cut in, voice low and even. “She’ll be more comfortable here.” He shifted in his seat, spreading his knees just slightly. Subtle. Possessive. Certain.

Taehyun didn’t say much. Just reached for the seatbelt across his chest and unhooked it, already leaning over like he was expecting you to take the offer. “Come here,” he said simply, without looking at anyone else.

Kai on the other hand, he didn’t say a word. Just opened his arms wide from his spot in the middle row, eyes soft and pleading, like his lap was the most natural option. Like of course you’d sit there. Like he’d been waiting for it all day.

Your gaze flicked between them.

All five.

All watching you.

The air suddenly felt heavier, hotter, thick with something that had been simmering under the surface for hours. Their gazes weren’t innocent anymore. Not after today. Not after the water. Not after the way you’d clung to them, touched them, let yourself float between their hands like you belonged there.

This wasn’t about who had space. This was about who got to touch you. Who got to feel your weight. Your thighs. Your chest pressing against them as the car jostled down the road.

You could see it in their eyes. Feel it in the way their bodies leaned forward, chests rising just a little faster than before.

“Any volunteers to sit in the trunk with Beomgyu’s flamingo float?” you joked weakly, trying to cut the tension.

No one laughed. They were waiting…for you.

You blinked at them all, stunned. “You guys…”

“We’re being practical,” Soobin said quickly, voice an octave too high to be convincing. “Weight distribution.”

You raised a brow, trying to bite back your laugh. “Right. Very scientific.” No one offered a better explanation.

And so, after a beat, after scanning the vehicle and their eager, barely restrained faces, you sighed and slid toward the middle seat. Soobin was already there, long legs spread slightly, seatbelt buckled and posture just stiff enough to suggest he was trying very, very hard to act unbothered.

You chose him because it felt like the safest option.

Or at least… it should have been.

At first.

You turned, easing your back toward him and bracing one hand on the seat for balance. Your bikini bottoms were still damp, clinging to your skin, the fabric snug where it hugged between your thighs. When you lowered yourself onto him, it wasn’t slow enough to avoid contact. It was too slow. Your hips met his with a soft, wet sound, skin meeting skin beneath the thin barrier of nylon.

You shifted. Just a little. Trying to balance. Your thighs spread slightly across his lap for stability, and you felt it instantly.

The hard ridge pressed between you. The tension in his muscles. The way his breath stuttered in his chest.

Soobin hissed through his teeth.

You froze.

“You okay?” you asked, half-turning to look at him over your shoulder.

He was trying. You could tell he was trying to keep it together. His jaw was clenched, shoulders stiff, and his hands, large and warm, hovered awkwardly at your waist. Not touching, not fully resting, just trembling slightly in place like he didn’t trust himself to move.

“Yeah,” he said, a little too fast. His voice was hoarse, cracking around the edges. “Mhm. Totally fine.”

He wasn’t fine. Not when you could feel his thighs tighten beneath you. You could hear the subtle catch in his breath every time you adjusted. You could sense how hard he was trying not to react.

The car door shut behind you, sealing the two of you in. The rest of the guys piled in around you—Kai and Beomgyu in the back, Taehyun sliding into the passenger seat, Yeonjun behind the wheel.

But Soobin didn’t move. Barely even let out a breath.

And when the car hit the first bump in the road, jolting your body down harder onto his lap, you felt it. That deep, involuntary groan in his chest he tried and failed to stifle.

———-

The van bumped along the uneven road, the hum of tires on gravel the only sound as conversation had long since dwindled into charged silence. The sun dipped lower outside the windows, casting the car in warm amber light, soft shadows flickering across your bare thighs as you shifted in Soobin’s lap.

You didn’t realize what had happened.

The thin fabric of your cover-up had ridden up when you climbed in, bunched beneath your ass and exposing more skin than you meant to. And your bikini top, still damp, still clinging, had started to loosen at the left strap. Not enough to notice right away. But just enough that, with each subtle bounce of the vehicle, the fabric tugged. Shifted. Slid.

The left strap slipped further.

And further.

And you didn’t notice.

But Soobin did.

He stiffened beneath you, hands suddenly flying to your waist, fingers gripping with sharp intensity. His breath hitched at your back.

“Wait…don’t move..” he said, low and urgent.

But it was too late.

You reached down toward the door pocket, the curve of your body folding forward, your spine brushing his chest. The motion pulled the front of your top downward, straining the already-too-small triangles of fabric.

Then-

The soft snap of tension giving way.

Air hit your skin.

Your left nipple slipped out. Just enough.

A delicate peek of darkened skin beneath the edge of your bikini top. A soft curve, unmistakable in shape and contrast. Briefly, heartbreakingly visible in the golden light through the windshield.

Yeonjun saw it first. He choked on his own spit.

“Cough—!”

He turned his head so fast you thought he might give himself whiplash, ears instantly flushed red. His hand slammed against the steering wheel like he’d just seen a crime.

Beomgyu… didn’t look away.

His jaw flexed, his fingers tightening into fists on his thighs. His eyes darkened. He adjusted his swim shorts with a jerk of his hand, shifting like he was uncomfortably hard now, and not even trying to hide it.

Kai looked like he was physically holding his breath, lips parted slightly, his entire body frozen mid-turn like he’d been about to speak but forgot how to.

And Taehyun, up in the front passenger seat? Completely still. Stiff shoulders. Straight spine. The only movement was the subtle clench of his hands on his knees.

But underneath you…

Soobin made a sound.

A low, desperate sound that was half groan, half gasp. It came from deep in his chest, raw and barely contained. You felt the vibration of it through your back, your hips, all the way down your thighs.

“What?” you asked, frowning, blinking in confusion as you glanced down-

-and then you saw it.

Your heart stuttered. Your breath left in a sharp rush. “Shit—!”

You scrambled to fix it, one arm flying up to cover your chest, the other tugging your top desperately back into place. But before you could reach-

Soobin’s hand caught your wrist. Big, warm fingers curling around your forearm. Your breath caught. You looked back at him over your shoulder.

His eyes were unreadable behind his sunglasses, but his lips were parted, cheeks flushed, throat working around a thick swallow. His grip didn’t ease, his other hand still trembling on your waist.

“Don’t,” he said, voice barely audible.

“It’s okay,” Soobin murmured, his breath hot against your shoulder. “Just… don’t panic.”

You turned your head slightly, barely able to hear him over the pounding of your own pulse. “Don’t panic?” you whispered, breathless, eyes wide. You were too aware of everything. Your wet skin, the thin bikini clinging to you, the eyes watching you from every angle.

But most of all… you felt him. His thighs shifted subtly beneath you, trying (and failing) to adjust. And that’s when you felt it.

Hard.

Thick.

Pressed right between your legs where your soaked bikini bottoms had molded to your heat like a second skin. There was no space left between you. Every movement, every breath, made it worse.

Or better.

“You’re driving them crazy,” he said, voice hushed and tight. Your head spun. “Not on purpose,” you whispered back.

“I know.”

And the way he said it…

His voice was lower now. Gravelly. Almost broken. Darker. “That’s the worst part.”

Your breath caught.

You looked down, cheeks burning as your shaking hands tugged your top back into place, hiding the slip of skin that had sent a shockwave through the car. But it was too late to take it back. The air had already changed. Thick and heavy, humid with tension. The windows were beginning to fog at the corners, clouding the outside world from view.

Inside the van, it felt like something feral was growing.

Beomgyu shifted in the back seat. His legs were spread wider now, elbows digging into his knees, head bowed low like he needed to concentrate just to breathe. Sweat glistened along his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard with each swallow.

Kai was openly staring at your thighs. His lip was caught between his teeth, bitten so hard it had turned red. His hands clenched into fists on either side of his seat, but his eyes never moved. He looked dazed. Desperate.

Yeonjun let his head fall back against the driver’s seat with a heavy thud and groaned. “We’re gonna need a cold shower after this,” he muttered to no one in particular, one hand adjusting himself beneath the steering wheel like he didn’t care who saw anymore.

Soobin wasn’t hovering anymore. His hands were on you. Firm.

Heavy palms cupping your hips like you were something delicate and breakable and already his. His thumbs brushed over the soft curve of your sides, just beneath the edge of your top, pressing possessively into your skin like he was branding the moment into memory.

He hadn’t let go since the wardrobe mishap.

And now, it was clear he didn’t intend to.

You sat perfectly still, your back pressed to his chest, your breathing shallow. You didn’t dare move again. Not with the way his fingers flexed just slightly every time your thighs shifted.

————-

The beach house was dimly lit, golden shadows stretching along the walls as the last of the sun sank behind the horizon. The air inside clung to your skin, thick with ocean humidity and heat still radiating from your post-shower body.

You towel-dried your hair slowly, warm droplets sliding down your bare shoulders. Everything felt soft and quiet. The kind of stillness that happens before something breaks.

You’d thrown on the only sleep set you’d packed, not realizing how bad how good the fit had become.

The tank top was cropped. Really cropped. The fabric was soft and thin, worn from washing, now hugging every curve of your chest. It clung to the swell of your breasts, dipping dangerously low and riding high, just brushing the lower edge of your underboob. You hadn’t packed a bra. The air in the house was cool enough for that to be obvious.

The shorts?

Even worse.

Stretchy. Breathable. Meant for lounging. But now they fit like a second skin, rising high on your waist and gripping your hips so tight the seam strained. The soft material framed the curve of your ass, the bottom hem barely visible under the fullness of your thighs. Every step made the fabric shift higher, and you kept tugging it down without realizing just how much attention that alone would draw.

You didn’t even hesitate when you padded barefoot down the hallway, still warm and clean and relaxed. You weren’t thinking about how you looked.

You didn’t know yet.

Until you walked into the living room. Everything stopped. The soft hum of a fan. The low buzz of someone’s phone. The murmur of whatever background show Beomgyu had turned on…

All of it cut out. Not because the sound stopped.

But because they did.

Yeonjun was on the arm of the couch, drink halfway to his mouth. It never made it. He froze completely, eyes dragging over your body. Slow, stunned, unreadable.

Beomgyu had been mid-laugh, something clever on his tongue, until he caught a glimpse of your bare stomach and how your shorts shifted with your step. His mouth stayed open, but no sound came out.

Kai looked up from his phone. Blinked once. Twice. Then again like he was short-circuiting, face flushed as his gaze zeroed in on your thighs and didn’t move.

Taehyun stiffened where he sat on the floor, remote in hand. His fingers twitched like he forgot what he was doing. His eyes locked on the outline of your nipples against the thin tank top, visible even in the soft lamplight.

Soobin had been standing in the kitchen doorway, sipping from a glass of water. The glass tilted, ice clinking. But his eyes never left you. His gaze dropped down the full length of your body and dragged back up with unforgiving slowness.

His grip on the glass tightened. Water dripped from the edge. He didn’t blink.

You stopped halfway into the room, towel still slung over your shoulder.

“…What?” you asked.

The word barely made it out of your mouth. The room was silent. Thick, hot, achingly still.

Yeonjun cleared his throat, but it didn’t help much. His voice came out low and rough, like it scraped the edge of his throat. “What’re you wearing?”

You blinked. “Pajamas.”

But when you glanced down at the soft stretch of your tank top clinging tight to your breasts, at the way your shorts hugged your hips and disappeared beneath the curve of your thighs, you suddenly understood.

Soobin’s jaw tensed visibly. “That’s not pajamas,” he said, voice quiet but razor sharp. “That’s… that’s barely anything.”

“I-it’s hot,” you said, crossing your arms instinctively over your chest, but it only pressed your tits up higher. The thin fabric clung to your damp skin, and you were sure he could see the outline of your nipples through it.

“You’re not making it better,” Beomgyu muttered, dragging his hand down his face like it physically hurt to look at you. His eyes dipped low again anyway. He looked wrecked. Hair messy, lips parted, expression tight like he was holding something back and barely succeeding.

Kai shifted again on the couch and picked up a pillow—not for comfort, not really. He set it in his lap, then dropped his head back against the cushions with a quiet, frustrated groan.

Taehyun still hadn’t moved. He hadn’t blinked. He was staring at the spot where your shirt had ridden up just above your belly button, lips parted slightly like he couldn’t stop tracing your skin with his eyes.

You took a half step backward. “Are you seriously-? Guys. I just took a shower.”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun said slowly, eyes flicking up and down your body with a look that made your knees weak. “And now you’ve walked in here like that, and what- expected us to act normal?”

“I didn’t mean-”

Soobin stepped forward. Everything in you stilled. His body was close. Warm. Tall and quiet and buzzing with something heavy beneath the surface.

“You have no idea what you’re doing to us, do you?” he said. His voice wasn’t loud. It was low, almost gentle. But it sent a chill straight down your spine. You swallowed. Your chest rose with a shaky breath. “No. I really don’t.”

Soobin’s gaze dropped. Traced your curves, slowly. He looked at the way your top pressed into your chest, at the damp hair curling around your collarbone, at the bare skin between your thighs where your shorts had ridden up.

“Then I’ll tell you,” he murmured. You didn’t stop him.

“You walk in here like that,” he continued, voice like velvet soaked in heat, “wearing next to nothing, smelling like soap and salt and whatever lotion you just used, and you expect us to pretend we haven’t been dying to touch you all day?”

Your breath caught in your throat.

He reached out, hesitated, then rested one hand lightly on your hip. His fingers barely curled around the softness there.

“You’re making us crazy.”

Behind you, Beomgyu shifted, leaning forward. Kai’s voice was quiet. “Every time you moved, I could see the shape of your ass under those shorts. I had to sit with a pillow on my dick the entire ride home.”

Taehyun finally spoke. Voice low. Even. “You didn’t know what you were doing. But we did. We knew what this was.” You blinked at them, heart pounding in your chest.

Yeonjun stood, walking toward you with slow, careful steps, his gaze sharp and unreadable.

“But the question is,” he said softly, “what do you want to happen now?” You opened your mouth. No words came. Soobin’s hand tightened slightly on your hip.

Yeonjun stepped closer. Beomgyu’s knee brushed the back of your thigh as he leaned in, voice a whisper behind you.

“Because if you don’t want us to touch you…” His breath hit your ear.

“Say so now.”

Then Soobin moved behind you. Pressed his chest to your back. His lips brushed your ear.

“Let us touch you,” he murmured. “Please.”

And you… nodded.

———-

You didn’t say no. You didn’t say anything at all. That silence was everything they needed.

Soobin was the first to move.

His hand, already resting gently on your hip, thumb brushing the hem of your too-tight sleep shorts, began to slide lower. Slow. Careful. Like he didn’t want to startle you. Like you were something delicate and sacred.

He cupped the plush curve of your thigh, fingers spreading to feel just how thick and warm your skin was beneath his palm. His grip tightened, not rough, but firm, as if he needed to anchor himself there. Like letting go wasn’t an option.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured, voice so low it nearly disappeared into the heat between you.

“I’m nervous,” you breathed.

He smiled against your shoulder. You didn’t see it, but you felt it. A quiet tug of his lips brushing your skin. His breath was warm, steady, grounding.

“We’ll take care of you,” he whispered. “Every inch.”

Behind you, the air shifted.

Beomgyu leaned in so close that his chest barely ghosted your back, and the heat of his breath fanned across the side of your neck. It made you shiver again, despite the warmth of the room.

Then his hands.

One slid around your waist, large and warm, settling on the soft swell of your belly, his thumb rubbing small, slow circles against your skin as if memorizing how you felt.

The other?

It moved higher. Up, up, lightly grazing over your ribs until his fingertips brushed the underside of your breast through the paper-thin tank top. You weren’t wearing a bra. He knew that. He’d known the moment you walked into the room. But now he could feel it.

His fingers traced the edge of your softness, reverent. Tempted. Barely touching, but worshiping with every inch of skin he could reach.

“You’re so soft,” he whispered, voice almost dazed. “So fucking soft.”

His hand splayed fully now, fingertips skimming the side of your breast, pressing just enough to feel the weight of it in his palm.

He wasn’t teasing. He sounded… awestruck.

Like he couldn’t believe he was finally touching you like this. Like you were real, and warm, and his fingers were allowed to explore everything he’d only ever imagined.

Soobin’s hand moved again, dragging upward from your thigh to your waist, where he met Beomgyu’s grip. His palm pressed flat against your belly, fingertips dipping beneath the hem of your tank top to stroke the skin there. His other hand traced the outside of your thigh, then slid back and cupped the underside of your ass, fingers digging in a little harder now.

“You’re trembling,” Soobin said again, voice deeper now. Beomgyu let out a breathy laugh against your ear.

“She likes it,” he said. “You like being touched like this, don’t you?” You nodded this time.

“Say it,” Yeonjun’s voice came from in front of you—lower, rougher, his eyes dark and fixed on where their hands touched your body. “We want to hear it.”

“I like it,” you whispered. “I—I like it.”

Taehyun stepped closer now. He’d been watching in silence, unmoving, unreadable, but now his eyes were hot, his lips parted. He ran two fingers along your arm, then up to your jaw, tilting your head so he could look into your eyes.

“Tell us if it’s too much,” he said quietly.

Your breath caught. “It’s not,” you said.

Kai’s hand joined the others next, brushing lightly over your hip, his touch feather-light but hungry, sliding around the dip of your waist as he bent low to press a kiss to the center of your back.

“We’ve wanted this,” he said. “We’ve wanted you.” Yeonjun stepped in next, cupping your jaw and tilting your face up toward his. “If you want to stop, say it now.”

You didn’t. You couldn’t. You just nodded, lips parted, body buzzing.

That was all it took.

Yeonjun’s mouth was on yours. Hot, slow, possessive. He kissed you like he owned the moment, like he’d been imagining this for years. And as soon as he pulled back, Kai’s lips were replacing his, gentler but no less desperate.

Their hands moved slowly at first.

Kai knelt in front of you, hands sliding up your thighs, pushing the hem of your sleep shorts higher and higher until his thumbs grazed your inner thighs.

Soobin slipped behind you, fingers teasing under the hem of your tank, skimming the base of your spine.

“Can I take this off?” he murmured against your shoulder.

You nodded.

He lifted the tank over your head, and the room went silent. Then Taehyun, still quiet, still intense, reached forward and ran his hand along the side of your bare breast.

“Perfect,” he whispered.

Beomgyu let out a breath like he’d been punched.

“You’ve been hiding this from us all day,” he muttered. “This fucking body.”

“Didn’t mean to,” you mumbled, cheeks hot.

“Doesn’t matter now,” Yeonjun said, leaning down to kiss along the curve of your neck. “You’re ours.”

Soobin’s hands moved to your chest, cupping your tits from behind, fingers rolling your nipples while Kai kissed lower down your belly, worshipping the softness, the way you curved under his hands.

Then his tongue met the waistband of your shorts.

“Please,” you breathed, voice already breaking. “Touch me.” Kai smiled up at you from between your legs, eyes half-lidded with hunger, his breath hot against your thighs.

“I was waiting for you to ask.”

His fingers curled into the waistband of your shorts, dragging them down slowly. Inch by inch. So slow it made you tremble. The elastic caught on the curve of your ass, then slipped down, exposing more of your soft, wet heat until you were completely bare in front of them.

“Holy shit,” Kai whispered, voice caught somewhere between awe and arousal. His eyes locked on your soaked cunt. Your folds glistening, twitching with need, already messy without a single touch.

“She’s soaked,” he murmured again, almost like he didn’t believe it. “Dripping down her fucking thighs.”

Beomgyu was already on his knees beside him, mouth parted, pupils blown wide. “Can I taste?” he asked, voice rasping, fingers twitching at his sides like he was holding himself back by sheer force.

Kai looked up at you. “You okay with that?”

“Please,” you begged, your voice wrecked. “I want all of you. I want-fuck, please.”

You felt Soobin’s hands slide under your thighs, lifting you slightly, turning you in his lap so your legs fell open over his. He held you there. Open, exposed, vulnerable and throbbing, your cunt bare and twitching just inches from Kai’s face.

“You’re gonna let us ruin you tonight,” Soobin whispered against your ear, voice trembling with restraint. “You understand that?”

You nodded, helpless and breathless. “Yes.” Then Kai’s mouth was on you. His tongue dragged up your slit, slow, flat, starving, and you cried out, back arching, hands flying to his hair.

He groaned into your cunt like he was dying, sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue fast—wet, messy, relentless. The sound of it was obscene, every slurp echoing through the living room, filling your ears, making your toes curl.

And then Beomgyu joined him. Two mouths. Two tongues. One sliding lower. Fucking you open with deep, slow thrusts of his tongue, pressing into your hole like he couldn’t get deep enough. The other sucking your clit, lips swollen, nose buried in the wet between your thighs.

“Oh my fucking god—” you moaned, loud, raw, completely unraveling. Your knees jerked, thighs trembling, but Soobin’s hands kept you spread wide.

“Let them taste you,” he murmured, biting gently at your shoulder. “Be good and take it.”

You were good. You were falling apart.

Yeonjun stepped in front of you, cupping your cheeks, tilting your head up so your eyes met his. He kissed you hard. Tongue deep, fast, hungry, swallowing your moans as they ripped from your throat.

Taehyun stood behind Soobin, stroking himself slow, watching your body twitch and tremble in his hyung’s lap. “She looks so fucking pretty like this,” he said, voice low. “Look at her. She’s shaking.”

Kai moaned into you, tongue flicking over your clit fast and brutal while Beomgyu’s fingers replaced his tongue curling inside you, thick, relentless, pressing just right.

“Gyu—Kai—I’m gonna—” you choked out. Soobin kissed your temple. “Give it to them.”

You came with a scream, legs snapping around their heads, cunt clenching around Beomgyu’s fingers as Kai sucked your orgasm out of you like he’d been starving for it. You felt the drip of your release spill down between your thighs. You felt them lap it up.

And when you started to squirm, overstimulated, Kai just held your hips down and muttered against your pussy, “Not done yet.”

Beomgyu looked up, lips and chin soaked, eyes wild. “We haven’t even started.”

————

Moving into one of the bedrooms, they laid you down like you were something to be unwrapped. Treasured and ruined all at once. Your back hit the mattress, the sheets cool beneath your heated skin, and you barely had a chance to breathe before they were on you.

All of them hard, heavy with lust, eyes dark with the same hunger.

Soobin was already between your thighs, running the thick length of his cock along your folds slow and teasing, dragging through the slickness there like he owned you. “She’s so wet,” he growled, more to the others than to you. “She’s ready for it.”

Kai’s mouth was soft on your stomach, lips dragging up the line of your navel, his hands gripping your hips like he wanted to hold you still like he was already struggling to behave. “Please,” he whispered, his breath ghosting across your skin, “I want to be inside her so bad.”

Taehyun leaned in beside your ear, voice low and breath hot. “Let me go first. Just a taste.” His cock pressed against your thigh, twitching, leaking against your skin.

“No,” Soobin snapped. “She’s mine right now.”

He pushed in. Slow. Stretching you open around his thick cock until your back arched off the bed and your fingers scrambled at the sheets. The others watched, mesmerized, panting, jerking themselves slowly as they waited their turn. You swore you could hear Kai whimper. Taehyun bit his lip hard enough to bleed.

Soobin fucked you deep. So deep it felt like he was in your stomach, every inch of him thick and pulsing inside your soaked cunt. He wasn’t gentle. He didn’t ease you in or give you time to adjust. He wanted to feel you break around him. Wanted to feel your body give out from how hard he was using it.

His hips dragged back slowly, teasing your walls as his cock slid out with a slick, wet sound, then he slammed forward, the force of it jolting your entire body up the bed. You cried out, but he didn’t slow down. He just grunted, rough and low, holding your thighs wide apart, watching the way your pussy swallowed him whole over and over again.

“Fuck, look at that,” he growled, voice wrecked, sweat dripping from his jaw. “You’re soaked. You hear that?”

And you could. Every thrust filled the room with the obscene, squelching sound of your cunt clinging desperately to his cock. Wet and needy and messy.

The bedframe slammed against the wall with every brutal stroke. You felt the wood creak beneath you, the sheets already damp with sweat and slick and drool. Soobin’s hands kept you pinned down, fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise because you were squirming, legs shaking, body trembling, and he didn’t want you to move an inch.

“You gonna cum already?” he sneered, bending over you, chest pressing to yours. “We just started, baby. You better hold it.”

But your body betrayed you. Your back arched off the bed. Your nails raked down his back. And when he shifted his angle, grinding the head of his cock against your sweet spot over and over, punishingly precise. You shattered.

Your orgasm ripped through you like lightning. Your vision went white. Your pussy clenched down so hard on him he snarled against your neck, biting down to muffle the sound. You felt yourself gush around him, slick pouring down your thighs.

But Soobin didn’t stop. He fucked you through it, kept pounding into your overstimulated cunt like he wanted to make you cry. And you did. Tears slipping down your cheeks as your body thrashed beneath him.

“So tight when you cum,” he breathed, watching your face twist in pleasure and pain. “Fuck-you were made for this.”

And then he pulled out slow, dragging every inch of himself from your dripping hole, and you barely had time to catch your breath before the next cock replaced his.

Taehyun was already in position. Cock thick, flushed, slick with precum. His chest heaved as he stared down at you, pupils blown wide with lust. He didn’t wait. Didn’t even pretend to give you time. He just shoved in hard, burying himself to the hilt in one brutal thrust that knocked the breath out of your lungs.

Your scream tore through the room, but it melted into a whimper as his cock stretched your already-fucked pussy even more, pushing against the swollen, sensitive walls Soobin had just wrecked. He groaned, the sound raw and desperate, his hands gripping your thighs and pulling them over his shoulders so he could drive even deeper.

“F-fuck,” Taehyun gasped, snapping his hips into you without mercy. “She’s still tight-how the fuck—?”

He sounded delirious. Ferocious. You felt his abs flex with every thrust as he bent over you, chest shining with sweat, the muscles in his arms trembling from how hard he was gripping you.

He didn’t ease up.

His cock slammed into you again and again, the head hitting your sweet spot like he knew exactly where it was. The way he moved was animalistic. Deep and punishing, his balls slapping against your ass wetly with each thrust. Your cunt squelched around him, loud, messy, soaking both of you, and he growled from the sensation, letting his head fall into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck—so warm—so fucking good—”

You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t think. Your eyes rolled back, drool slipping down your cheek as Taehyun rutted into you like he was trying to fuck your soul out of your body.

Then you felt fingers in your hair.

Yeonjun.

He crouched behind you, fist pumping slowly along his shaft as his other hand curled into your scalp, lifting your head. Your mouth parted on instinct, lips wet and swollen, and he pressed the tip of his cock to your tongue.

“Open that pretty mouth,” he said, voice like silk over fire. “Let me in.”

You obeyed. Lips stretching, tongue out, welcoming him in as Taehyun fucked you from below.

Yeonjun slid into your mouth. Slow and teasing, until his cock pressed against the back of your throat. You gagged slightly, eyes watering, and he groaned deep in his chest, thumb brushing the corner of your lips as your mouth stretched wide around him.

“That’s it. Just like that,” he murmured, hips starting to roll as he face-fucked you in time with Taehyun’s brutal thrusts. “Use that throat, baby. Show me how much you want it.”

Your body was sandwiched. Taehyun’s cock slamming into your dripping pussy, Yeonjun’s sliding deep into your throat. You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t moan. Your only sounds were muffled gags and the wet, obscene music of skin on skin, slick on slick.

Your arms flailed weakly, fingers clawing at the sheets, legs twitching around Taehyun’s shoulders. You were dizzy. Fucked out. Ruined.

But they weren’t done with you. Not even close.

Kai slipped between your legs while Taehyun pulled out, your pussy raw, gaping, still fluttering from the relentless pounding. Slick coated your thighs, shining on your skin, dripping into the ruined sheets below. You were barely coherent. Panting, shaking, tears streaked down your face, but Kai looked at you like you were the most fragile, beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

He was the only one who hesitated.

He knelt there, cock hard and leaking against his stomach, fingers stroking your inner thighs with reverence. His voice trembled when he leaned in, mouth brushing your cheek, your jaw, your collarbone. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, breath hot against your skin. “I’ll be gentle, I promise…”

But your body was soaked, stretched, begging, and when he finally pressed in, his entire body shuddered.

“Fuck,” Kai gasped, burying himself inside you inch by inch. “You’re so warm. So fucking wet—shit—”

He paused once he was fully in, letting your walls squeeze around him, his forehead resting against yours. For a moment, you thought he might actually stay soft, sweet. But then your pussy clenched, instinctive and greedy, pulsing around his cock—and that fragile control snapped.

His hands suddenly gripped your hips tight, hard enough to bruise and he slammed into you. The sudden force knocked your breath out. Kai cursed again, louder this time, his voice breaking.

“I-I’m sorry,” he gasped, even as his hips snapped forward again and again. “I—fuck—I can’t stop—I need you—I need you so bad—”

The rhythm turned feral. No more gentle apologies. Just frantic, desperate thrusts. His cock drilling into your soaked, overstimulated cunt like he was trying to melt into you. The boy who always smiled, who always giggled shyly behind his hands, was gone.

This Kai was trembling. Sweating. Obsessed.

“Been dreaming of this,” he choked out, mouth dragging along your throat, your jaw, your lips. “Every fucking night—touching myself—thinking about how you’d sound, how you’d feel, how you’d taste—”

One hand slid under your thigh, hooking it up around his waist so he could thrust even deeper, angling perfectly to grind against your swollen, sensitive spot. You cried out, legs kicking, body jolting beneath him.

Your pussy clenched again. Tight, needy, and he snapped, fucking into you like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

“You’re mine now,” he hissed, voice shaking. “Mine. I don’t care who had you first—I’m gonna fuck you so full of me you’ll forget every other name.”

And you did.

Because all you could feel was Kai—his cock stretching you open, his body flush to yours, his hands everywhere, his voice breaking as he moaned and babbled into your skin.

His thrusts grew erratic, wild. Hips stuttering against you as he buried himself to the hilt, cock twitching deep inside your soaked cunt. His nails dug into your waist as his moans turned desperate, raw, needy.

“Fuck—fuck—I’m gonna—” he gasped, voice cracking, forehead pressed against yours, sweat dripping onto your cheeks. “I’m gonna cum—inside—inside you—can I? Please—please let me—”

But he didn’t wait for an answer.

Your pussy clenched around him again, and that was it.

Kai let out a strangled cry somewhere between a whimper and a broken sob as his cock throbbed violently, and then he came. Hard.

You felt it.

Hot, thick spurts of cum flooded your already ruined pussy, shooting deep inside you with every twitch of his cock. He didn’t pull out. He pushed deeper, grinding into you, gasping as his seed spilled into your swollen walls.

“Shit—fuck—you’re taking all of it—fuck—” he babbled, watching your belly as if he could see himself filling you up.

You moaned beneath him, body shaking from the heat spreading through your core. His cum leaking out around his still-throbbing cock, dripping down your ass onto the sheets. But Kai didn’t stop moving. Even as he softened, he rocked his hips slowly, lazily fucking it deeper, making sure you didn’t waste a drop.

His hand slid down to your lower belly, pressing just slightly, watching your face twist in overstimulated bliss. “So full,” he whispered, eyes wide and dazed. “You’re so full of me, baby.”

Beomgyu was the last, but he didn’t rush.

He watched the whole time. Watched you get ruined. Watched your body go limp from overstimulation. Watched cum drip from your pussy in thick, creamy ropes (Kai’s, Taehyun’s, Soobin’s) all still inside you. Watched your lips swollen and glistening from Yeonjun fucking your throat raw. And the look on his face?

It wasn’t mercy. It was hunger.

He crawled up your body like a predator, one knee between your legs, one hand curling slowly around your throat. Not tight, not yet. Just enough to make you feel it. To remind you who was in control now.

“So used up,” Beomgyu murmured, eyes locked onto yours. “And you still want more.”

His cock was heavy and dripping, already slick from watching everything that came before. He didn’t line up right away. He just slapped it against your ruined, soaked cunt, watching your whole body jolt, watching more cum spill out of you from the impact. He rubbed the head through your folds slow and nasty, smearing the mess of the others across his shaft like it turned him on even more.

“Fuck, look at you,” he muttered, tightening his grip on your throat just slightly. “Stretched. Gaping. Perfect.”

And then he pushed in deliberate, every inch dragged through the slick mess until his cock was buried inside you, thick and pulsing. Your body spasmed beneath him. Sensitive, broken, but still greedy.

You moaned. A cracked, breathless sound, and Beomgyu grinned. That cocky, dangerous grin.

“There it is,” he said, leaning closer, lips brushing yours but not kissing. “Still got noise left in you.” Then he snapped his hips forward hard and you screamed.

His cock drove into you deep and fast, merciless from the first thrust. He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t slow. He fucked you like he had a point to prove. Like he wanted to brand himself into your body and erase every other touch before him.

Slap. Slap. Slap.

His hips pounded into yours, balls hitting your ass with filthy, wet sounds. His hand around your throat squeezed tighter, just enough to make your breath hitch, to make your eyes widen.

“You like this, don’t you?” he growled. “Being our fucktoy. Getting filled over and over again until you can’t even think.”

Your cunt pulsed around him violently, and Beomgyu groaned.

“You do. Fuck—you’re clenching around me like you’re about to cum already.” His other hand dropped to your thigh, pushing your legs open wider. “I want you to milk my cock, baby. I want you to squeeze every last drop out of me. You want that too, don’t you?”

You nodded, barely able to speak.

And he rewarded you by fucking harder, hips slamming into you with vicious speed, the bed shaking, headboard banging against the wall.

The overstimulation was unbearable. His cock dragging against every hypersensitive inch of your soaked, cum-filled cunt, thick veins catching on your walls as he drove in again and again. You cried out, a choked wail, tears spilling, legs trembling, body locking up.

But he didn’t stop.

“Take it,” Beomgyu hissed, panting against your neck. “Fucking take it.”

And you did.

Because your body had no choice.

————-

They took you again and again. Positions changed. Hands were everywhere. On your tits, your throat, gripping your thighs open. Tongues traced every inch of your skin. Someone had a hand on your clit the entire time, rubbing, teasing, punishing. They didn’t stop. They didn’t let you stop.

You were soaked, dripping onto the sheets, onto their cocks. Leaking every time one of them pulled out. Your voice broke. Your body trembled. Your orgasm hit so hard you blacked out for a second, but they kept going.

You didn’t know who was inside you anymore. Whose cock was fucking your throat. Whose fingers were bruising your hips.

But you knew one thing:

You loved every filthy second of it.

[venusbyline]

Continuing on that competence kink I was mentioning on my blog, it's my personal headcanon that Aemond would get so hot watching his partner be physically violent. Hurting someone, or torturing someone, committing war crimes... (I mean, the way he looks at Daemon after he's murdered Vaemond- HELLO THAT MAN GETS OFF ON VIOLENCE AND BLOOD)

tbh I never knew about competence kink until that post of yours, but when I saw it... everything makes sense 🤭🤭 I wanna join him in his freakiness

btw, I wrote this two days ago but I forgot to post it 😭😭

⚠️: SMUT & DARK CONTENT. female!reader, dom!Aemond Targaryen, Targcest (twin brother/twin sister), competence kink, blood kink, blood licking, missionary position, non-graphic violence, implied Alys Rivers.

— high valyrian words used: Idaña (twin), Issa (yes).

There had always been something wrong with both of you.

Aemond noticed this when you were still children. He knew how angry you got when his bastard nephews teased him along with Aegon, he saw how you glared at Lucerys when the little boy gouged out one of your twin brother's eyes, just as he heard you mutter something about Rhaenyra deserving that scar on her arm after all that fight at Driftmark.

Your violent thoughts were just thoughts back then, but Aemond was not stupid. Despite trying to be a kind loving child, over time Aemond came to understand a little better what you felt.

He always liked your way of being, though. Sometimes he had lectured you if you expressed it around someone you should not, especially someone as prude as your mother. However, deep down Aemond liked to hear everything you had to say.

Alicent was furious when Aemond was younger and he went to talk to her about letting you start training with him and Ser Criston, after Aegon stopped being interested about swords. For the Queen, it was absurd for a girl to want to practice something like that, you were born to marry some lord and carry children, making more necessary alliances for the Greens when the right time came. After so much insistence from Aemond and even Ser Criston, who promised to your mother that no one but them would know that you were doing such a masculine activity, Alicent finally gave up on putting some sense into your mind.

Now, a few years later, you had proven a great worth to Aemond when you marched with him and Criston Cole to Harrenhal. Your dragon might be smaller than Vhagar, but you were willing to do anything he ordered during that war. After all, the two of you were twins and freak like each other.

Aemond felt horny watching you slit the throats of the men of the castle, your frustration at Simon Strong’s loyalty to the Blacks matching your twin's anger at the situation. The two of you were covered in blood as he sipped some wine with Ser Criston, because of Aemond's refusal to order the random woman with long black hair — the one whose life he spared, so he could keep as a servant — to draw you a bath yet...

Aemond wanted to see you like this for a little longer… Your silver hair was drenched in red drops, both a scarlet shade and a darker shade. You had killed so many people that the stains were a mess caused by other people's arterial and venous blood.

Ever since the entire family witnessed Daemon kill Vaemond Velaryon in front of everyone, the Prince Regent had been jerking off picturing what it would be like to see you committing all sorts of atrocities possible.

"Cole, leave me and my sister alone now." He ordered the knight, who nodded and left, taking the brunette servant with him.

"Feeling good, idaña?" Aemond teased, staring at you moaned with each deep thrust, the sounds of slapping skins echoing through the dark room.

You nodded, biting your lower lip at the feeling of your brother's cock sliding in and out of your warm cunt. He had already deflowered you many years ago, but nothing like that night. Aemond had never been so aroused and you had never been so tight before. "Mmm, issa..."

"Issa?" A low, husky chuckle rumbled from his chest, mocking your whining tone before he leaned down to nibble your neck, licking at the blood that dried there, the metallic, bitter taste making him growl and speed up the thrusts pace further. "Fuck... Your little cunt feels so fucking tight right now, sister. Such a freak thing, are not you? Just like me."

There was no need for a verbal response, though. Aemond had always known the truth. You were the only girl who matched the freak inside him.

[humpster35]

Such a needy boy

Sub!Matt x Dom!reader

|Contains: slight piss kink, edging, ball stimulation, hair pulling, teasing, creampie, slight hitting, biting ,kissing, riding and reverse cowgirl.

“Chris, did you bring your card or do I have to get mine?”

Y/n asked as she looked through her purse. She didn’t feel like going all the way back to the bus—just because Chris was forgetful again.

Nick sighed in annoyance and went to sandwich isle.

“Nick’s got his card. We’ll be fine—just don’t buy too many condoms this time.” Chris rolled his eyes.

Y/n snickered and looked at a blushing Matt. Little did Chris know, those condoms were used when she would jerk Matt off and he didn’t get to cum in her as a punishment.

Y/n noticed Matt’s expression, he was wearing his grey jacket and pajama pants, it was clear that he needed to go—pee that is.

“What’s wrong sweet boy?”

Matt looked down at Y/n’s eyes with embarrassment and in a hushed voice he whispered

“Gotta go pee. I can’t—I can’t hold it in.”

Y/n nodded and took his hand. They walked into the men’s restroom—with Y/n making sure no one else was around. Matt took his cock out, it was so thick and long—Y/n licked her lips as he got ready to release.

“Wanna feel your hands.”

Y/n chuckled. She nodded and stood behind Matt, with one hand wrapping around the end of his cock—the other caressing his face.

“Okay. Go on sweet boy—you can pee.”

Matt blushed as Y/n kissed his lips. The feeling of Matt’s cock spilling out pee made Y/n squeeze it. She wanted to see how much Matt would struggle—he jerked his hips to try and get himself off but only found that Y/n was pressing a finger over his hole.

“Now you gotta be good—okay? Mommy won’t let you pee if you keep being naughty.”

Y/n kissed the side of Matt’s face, trying to soothe him and get him to calm down. She knew he would get worked up and start whimpering. Matt felt her touch and his body relaxed.

“Good boy.” Y/n praised and removed her finger.

Matt finished peeing with encouragement from y/n—he put his dick away and then stood behind Y/n as she washed her hands, because he wanted to wash his at the same time as hers.

Y/n didn’t stop though, she continued to rub the tip of his dick—the smooth feeling of his cock only made her subconsciously kiss Matt’s lips.

“N-No—can’t handle it.” Matt whimpered out. His face was beyond tomato red as Y/n laughed and wiped his tears.

“Okay i’ll stop. But remember—you asked for this.”

Y/n removed her hand and stoked his hair. Matt was beautiful and precious to her—but when he said things like this, it only backfired for him—not her.

“Cmon Matty, we have to go finish shopping now.”

Matt shook his head and pulled Y/n in—he started making out with her while his hand grabbed at her ass. Y/n could feel how needy Matt was being, she didn’t wanna give in just yet.

“Wanna feel you, c-can I feel you again?” Matt took Y/n’s hand and started making her rub his hardened dick.

Y/n quickly gripped his balls—the whimpering sound of Matt’s voice echoed angelically in the restroom. She kissed his lips gently then pulled away.

“Now come on. You have to wait Matt—if I say it again you’re not gonna get anything.”

Matt nodded while biting his lip—they both headed out of the restroom, passing a middle aged man who stared at the two in shock.

“Where the hell have you guys been?” Nick questioned—he was holding two sandwiches in his hand while Chris talked to the camera.

Matt forgot they were filming a video, he darted towards the sweets area—Y/n following closely behind.

“Matt which one should we get? Should we share one?” Y/n asked while looking at the different ice cream options.

It was clear that she had forgotten or not really been affected by what happened in the bathroom. Matt however—was losing his mind trying to appear normal on camera.

“Chris! Nick! Come over here and film.” Y/n kissed Matt a goodbye kiss while she headed off camera.

Nick and Chris approached Matt with their camera man Memo following suit, they began cracking jokes and thinking on what food items they wanted for the night.

Matt looked over two isles at his girlfriend. She was wearing extremely short shorts and a big t-shirt. He wanted her to ride him right then and there—the way her ass would basically swallow the shorts and her hips swayed, Matt was hooked.

On camera, Matt can be seen dryhumping the air to try to make up for the lack of contact. Chris and Nick didn’t catch onto this but Y/n did. She watched curiously as Matt, while staring at her—bucked his hips in the air. He soon grew tired of this and excused himself from his brothers.

Y/n watched as Matt started walking towards her—his hands inside of his pockets that clearly told her that he just wanted to touch his dick in some way. She shook her head as he got close enough to her.

“Nu uh. Go on back now—Matt I told you that you have to wait okay?”

“Can’t wait—feel like cumming.” Matt’s voice was whiny and desperate. He began kissing Y/n’s neck right there in the isle—not even bothering to pay any mind to Chris and Nick making jokes on camera about the situation.

Y/n finished looking for food items in the different isles—Matt standing behind her. He would grind more against her ass, when she bent down. Y/n would purposely bend down longer so she could feel his dick against her clothed pussy.

Matt’s kissing was beginning to be too much for Y/n. His hand would reach under her shirt and grope at her bare breast. His breathing was erotic in her ear—even the warmth of his breath was enough to get her going. But she had to stop him.

“Matt, baby—my sweet boy.” Y/n stopped him from kissing her and looked into his eyes.

She felt so guilty for denying him time and time again—especially when he did those eyes. Those damn puppy dog eyes. Y/n took his hand and walked with him back to Chris and Nick.

“Okay you idiots buy this for me and i’ll have to pay you back okay?”

Chris looked at Y/n then at Matt—he saw how his brother avoided eye contact with him. He just smirked at them while nodding.

Nick didn’t even care about what Matt was going through, he was going to get his perfect late night snack.

So with one final look and the handing of bus keys—Y/n led Matt back to the tour bus. The cool air hit them both at once, it felt so chilly—this only made Matt’s dick tingle.

He needed something. He wanted to cum so badly. Matt brought his and Y/n’s intertwined hands, and kissed them. He loved her so so much and wanted to show her that he could handle her denying him.

“Nice try, but you’re still off the hook.”

Y/n laughed at Matt’s fake pout. They got inside of the tour bus again—with Y/n instantly sitting down on the couch and Matt sitting in front of her. She knew he was kind of mad at her, but how could she not be awing at him—he looked so adorable.

“Matt come here.”

“No.”

“Matthew, I won’t say it again. Come here—come to mommy.”

Matt’s ears perched up at the sound of Y/n’s soft, tender and caring tone. He knew that she was trying to get him not upset but he was pissed that she wouldn’t let him touch her.

Y/n watched in amusement as Matt looked the other way instead of sitting by her. She started to open her legs more—exposing herself to him.

Matt glanced over at the sight of her cunt. He noticed how Y/n’s pussy would be so fat that it wouldn’t be able to fully fit in the thong she was wearing. He fully turned to her.

“What is it?”

Y/n smiled. She got up and straddled his lap, as her hands stroked the back of his head—with Matt staring up at her with curious eyes, Y/n would grind her hips.

“You wanna fuck Mommy’s fat—tight pussy?”

Matt’s hips slowly followed the rhythm of Y/n’s steady breathing. He wanted to take his time—so that she wouldn’t edge him on. Y/n pulled Matt’s hair with force, not too much to hurt him, and as his eyes flickered in ecstasy—Y/n bounced up and down on his bulge.

“Ouhh fuck—this what you wanted? hm?”

Matt nodded. He pulled Y/n’s hands away from his hair and pinned them behind her back. He knew she was in control most of the time—but he wanted to show that he could also make her react.

“M’gonna fuck you mommy —gonna fuck you nice and rough.” Matt’s voice was husky as he moved quickly to take out his cock.

Y/n slid her thong to the side to make it much easier for him—giving up on holding off. They both needed this and only had a short amount of time before Chris and Nick came back.

With a low moan and squeezing of Y/n’s ass cheeks—Matt thrusted his cock into her pussy. Her walls instantly clenched him as if they had been waiting all day—she was made for him.

“A perfect fit huh?—What do you think of that my sweet boy? Mommy’s pussy is alll nice and tight for you.”

Y/n moaned loudly—her body desperately bouncing up and down a whimpering Matt. His hands were shaking on the sides of her. Y/n didn’t allow him to touch her body because he wanted to ignore her earlier.

“No touching.”

Matt whined and started kissing her chin. His plump pink lips sucked in her skin a bit—each time he would do it. Y/n let out a breathy moan, she looked at his expression then stopped moving.

Once Y/n got off of Matt’s cock—the wet queef of her pussy making him more needy, she turned so her ass was facing him.

“Mommy look at me.” Matt pleaded, he knew he had made her upset but he still wanted to see his girlfriends face.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Y/n’s hands were on her knees, her ass began twerking up and down onto his cock. She would move so fast that whenever Matt would try to grab her—only to steady himself, she would instantly stand up again.

“Don’t fucking touch me. You wanted to be a bad boy so this is what fucking happens.”

Her ass jiggled so much. Matt’s bottom lip started to bleed from how much he was biting at it—he didn’t wanna make any sound in case his brothers and camera man were right outside.

“Awww is baby scared?” Y/n taunted while bouncing her ass more. The sound of skin slapping was loud in the bus—the pillows on the sofa started to slip and slide.

Matt’s lower body was beginning to be pushed off of the sofa, to the ground. Y/n was still moving though—with a hand on top of Matt’s hand to hold her waist and the other on her knee, she kept clapping her ass on him.

Y/n felt her stomach start to tighten. Earlier—Chris had given her a pepsi to drink on the road and Y/n ended up having three. Right now she could feel herself wanting to pee. Matt noticed this and lifted Y/n’s legs up—so now her pussy was fully exposed as his cock went inside of it and her ass continued to clap against his skin.

“Matty—Matt wait—Mommy’s gotta-.”

Matt whined, his dick was feeling so good—she felt so tight around it. He didn’t wanna stop moving and he was starting to be a brat.

“I-I can’t stop.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in fear, she was about to pee on the tour bus—and the others would be back in a minute. But she couldn’t deny how good her body was feeling—as Matt’s cock hit her cervix even more in this angle. She felt slutty for even enjoying how exposed she was.

She looked at the door to the bus and looked down at Matt’s pink cock. Her body betrayed her in two thrusts—she started squirting.

“Fuuuck.” Matt moaned, his pace speeding up even more if possible.

He placed her ankles behind his head and jammed his cock repeatedly into her cunt. Y/n angrily scratched at Matt’s forearms, she couldn’t handle this speed and she had lost control over Matt. Her legs shake violently until Matt’s cock slips out. Matt whimpered and hugged Y/n’s body until she pushed him.

“You wanna fuck me huh?” Y/n pulled Matt’s hair. She then lightly slapped his face.

“Don’t fucking disobey me—you got it?”

Matt nodded, Y/n pulled him in for a sensual kiss and with the ignoring of Matt’s phone ringing—Y/n lay on the floor.

“Cmon sweet boy—mommy wants you to fuck her like this now.”

He moved slow, his dick was still throbbing—full of cum as he slid back into her cunt. Their sex was much more intimate now, as Matt’s hips smoothly moved against Y/n’e skin. He could feel how wet her pussy was—he wasn’t gonna last much longer. Y/n pulled her shirt up to show Matt her tits. She knew how much he loved them—he eagerly leant down to suck at the buds.

“Ohhh Matty—I love you so much.”

Y/n moaned in ecstasy, the boy on top of her nodded. Matt started to kiss her again—taking his time to lick her lips, then slip his tongue inside of her mouth. He immediately locked his tongue with hers as his hips began to pick up speed.

Y/n laughed a bit. She knew how much Matt has wanted this all day—now he was deep in her and she was taking him in.

“Such a needy boy.”

Matt accidentally bit Y/n’s nipple from the pleasure.

“Ow!” Y/n started to tear up but she hid this as Matt came. He heard this, of course and pulled out. Y/n lay there a few inches away from her wetness from earlier—as Matt’s kids oozed out of her.

“Y/n are you okay? M’sorry I didn’t mean to-.” Matt started to tear up, he hated seeing Y/n’s lip quiver—he knew he had to make this right.

Y/n pulled him back on her body, they lay there in silence while Matt hiccups trying to calm himself.

“Shh shh shh.” Y/n pats Matt’s back—kissing his head.

“But I hurt you—i’m sorry I was so caught up.”

Y/n nodded. She wasn’t mad at him, it did hurt but she knew he didn’t mean to do this. Looking down at the tiny red mark on her chest—she got an idea.

“This would make a kickass tattoo.”

Matt stared at her in surprise and confusion. Wasn’t she mad at him? Was she gonna leave him?

“I know you didn’t mean it baby. Cmere my sweet boy.”

Y/n caressed Matt’s hair and face. She felt him move to grab a dirty shirt he owned.

“Thanks.” She blushed as Matt cleaned between her legs—and the mess on the floor.

“Looks like we have to go clothes shopping.” Matt laughed and Y/n smiled nodding.

“Don’t worry bub, i’ll buy you an even better shirt.” Y/n kissed his lips—she couldn’t get enough of kissing him.

Once they fixed their clothes, Matt looked at the several messages from Nick and Chris asking to be let back inside of the bus.

“Oh shit.”

Y/n leaned over and busted out laughing. Matt’s face was flushed and his eyes showed a worried expression.

“That means they heard us.”

“Mhm.”

Y/n giggled and pulled Matt close to her. Matt got up and grabbed some spray to make sure the bus didn’t smell bad—then he grabbed the keys off the floor to open the door.

Nick, Chris and Memo looked up at him in disgust and disbelief. With Nick being the most agitated one—he spoke up first.

“What the fuck you guys?”

Matt didn’t say anything as Y/n laughed in the background, holding her stomach.

“Oops.”

requested by @seraluvsu

sorry if the piss thing is kind of an ick or cringe

tag list💌

@sturniolofruitloop @sturnispider @mattsweethart @mattspillowprincess @hannahsturniolo @thenickgirl @nickssidewitch @natesfavoritehoe @chrissonnyangel @chrissleftshoe @chrisbratt333 @chrissfavgirlie @strnilolover @stvni0l0

[mahowaga]

the door clicks open with the sound of keys you know by heart.

you don't look up right away—you're in the kitchen, barefoot, the lights low, the soft hum of a jazz record curling through the air like incense. the smell of tea lingers from earlier. the night outside is velvet, draped across the windows like a hush.

kento steps inside, quietly, carefully. you hear the soft rustle as he sets his briefcase down, removes his coat. the sigh he releases is heavy—bone deep.

and then he sees you.

you're standing near the kitchen counter, arms crossed loosely, a cup half-full with something forgotten in your hand. the moment your eyes meet, your body relaxes by instinct, like a flower tilting toward the light.

"hi," you say, voice soft, like you're afraid to disturb the quiet between you.

"hi," he replies, stepping closer. his tie is loose. his shoulders are tired. but his eyes—they warm immediately at the sight of you. "i didn't think you'd still be up."

you smile gently. "i was waiting for you."

he pauses, then says nothing. just walks forward and cups your cheek with his hand, thumb brushing beneath your eye like he's grounding himself in you.

he leans in. kisses your forehead.

you curl your fingers into the front of his shirt. "you made it through another day."

"barely," he exhales. "but yes."

and then—without thinking—you set the cup down and take his hand in yours. his fingers fit into yours like they always have, like they always will.

"dance with me," you whisper.

his brows lift slightly, almost amused, almost surprised. "now?"

"now," you say, already drawing him into the center of the kitchen.

the record spins lazily in background—an old ella fitzgerald tune, soft and wistful. no grand crescendos, just a low, crooning hush like a lullaby. there's no choreography, no practiced steps—just the quiet push and pull of two people who have moved through life beside each other long enough to know how to follow.

you rest your cheek against his chest.

kento exhales slowly, pulling you in. one hand settles at your waist, the other pressing gently against your back. his touch is careful, reverent. you sway together, nothing more than a gentle rock in the stillness.

he smells like his cologne, worn and faded from the day. there's tension still in his body, but it begins to melt—slowly, like sugar in tea—as the minutes drift by.

"long day?" you murmur, your voice muffled against him.

"the longest," he admits. "i think i forgot what silence felt like. until this."

you tilt your head to look up at him. his jaw is soft now, his eyes unfocused, not watching anything in particular—just feeling.

"sorry i can't give you the silence," you tease quietly.

he looks down at you. "you are the silence."

you blink.

"you're the stillness after the noise," he continues, his voice low, vulnerable in the way only he can be with you. "you're the reason i keep walking through it."

the music fades into the next song—still soft, still slow. neither of you moves to stop.

his hand slides up your back, gently cradling the nape of your neck as you sway. you let your eyes close, breathing him in, letting the moment wrap around you like a blanket.

"i love you," you whisper.

he leans in and kisses the top of your head, lingering.

"i know," he says, voice full of the same calm you've always brought him. "i love you, too."

and there, under the soft lamplight, in a kitchen that's seen both quiet mornings and stormy nights, the two of you dance—not for anyone, not for show, but just for each other.

just to remember the rhythm that was always yours.

[mymelllllinda]

Twisted — Yeon Sieun x F!Reader

Walking home used to be routine. Easy. Safe. Now? Every step feels like a mistake. I clutch my backpack tighter each night, heart pounding faster with every echo of my own footsteps. There's this feeling that's clinging to me like a second skin that I'm not alone. That someone... is always just out of sight. Watching. Waiting.

cw: dark!sieun, noncon, stalking, yandere. (i can't think of anymore)

"I’ll see you guys tomorrow," I called out, my voice half-lost in the echoing corridor as I raised a hand in a lazy wave. My friends were still gathered by the stairwell, their voices fading behind me as I pushed open the door of the school.

The chill of late evening hit me immediately—a soft, biting wind slipping under my jacket like cold fingers. I shoved my hands into my pockets and started down the empty sidewalk, the sky already smeared with hues of deep blue and bruised purple. The streetlights buzzed to life one by one, flickering like old memories.

Instinctively, I glanced at my phone. 7:03 p.m.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. I hadn't realized how late it had gotten. Goddamn Mrs.Song, That woman could talk numbers into the grave. One second she was explaining quadratic equations, and the next she was diving into some off-curriculum tangent about non-Euclidean geometry like we were prepping for a university exam instead of just trying to make it through high school. None of us had the nerve to stop her.

The school's windows behind me still glowed faintly with sterile fluorescent light, but the building itself looked dead, skeletal. Most of the students had left long ago. My footsteps echoed as I passed the bike racks, the usual hum of teenage chaos replaced with unsettling silence. I was alone.

I tightened my grip on my backpack strap, my fingers curling instinctively, my pace picking up.

Lately, walking home alone in the dark had started to mess with me. More than it used to. There was this creeping feeling that hung to my back like a wet shadow. Like I wasn’t walking alone. Like someone was watching me.

I couldn’t explain it. Just this constant, crawling sense that a pair of eyes were fixed on me from somewhere out of sight. Behind a tree. Across the street. Just beyond the edge of a streetlights glow. And every time I turned around there was no one there.

I turned into the narrow alley a shortcut I’d taken a hundred times before, the path between two aging apartment buildings where the streetlights didn’t quite reach. 

Halfway through, I heard it.

Footsteps.

Behind me. Steady.

I froze mid-step, my breath catching in my throat. The sound stopped too.

I didn’t turn around.

Didn’t dare.

Swallowing hard, I forced myself to keep walking, each step heavier than the last. But the footsteps returned, matching mine perfectly like an echo with intent.

I quickened my pace.

So did they.

Panic clawed its way up my spine, my fingers tightening around my backpack straps as I moved faster, nearly breaking into a jog. The air felt colder now, thicker as if something unseen had crept into the alley with me, pacing just behind.

Then a hand yanked at my backpack.

I stumbled backward with a gasp, heart leaping into my throat, and spun around as a scream ripped from me—

“God! It’s me! Yeji!”

The familiar voice hit me like a slap of light in the dark.

My breath caught as my eyes adjusted.

There she was, wide-eyed and breathless, hands raised, startled by my reaction.

I didn’t know whether to scream again or punch her.

“You bitch, I nearly peed myself! What the hell are you doing?” I yelled, still trying to catch my breath.

Yeji just laughed. “You should’ve seen your face!”

She held something out. “You forgot this.”

It was my math textbook.

“You’ll need it to finish the crazy bitch homework—sorry, I mean Mrs. Song’s homework,” she added with a dramatic yawn.

I rolled my eyes, but took the book. “Thanks… I guess.”

“All right, I’m off. See you tomorrow!” she said, already turning away and heading in the opposite direction.

And just like that, she disappeared around the corner, leaving me alone again.

“I’ve really got to stop freaking myself out,” I muttered with a shaky laugh, trying to brush off the nerves as I started walking again.

I was nearly at the end of the alley when I suddenly heard someone yell—sharp, distant, and completely unintelligible.

I stopped and turned around.

No one was there.

Thinking it was just Yeji messing with me again, I shouted, “Yeji, get your ass home already!”

No response.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to keep walking and walked straight into something.

Or rather… someone.

A solid chest.

I stumbled back, heart lurching up into my throat as I looked up.

“Sieun…?” I said, startled.

He didn’t respond—just stood there, silent, his eyes unreadable.

“I didn’t know you lived around here,” I added, my voice a little too casual, trying to ease the sudden weight in the air.

It was the first time I’d ever spoken to him.

I’d seen him before—always alone, quiet, keeping his head down. The kind of guy who disappeared into the background. There were rumors, of course. About his old school. About someone who’d died. Some said he killed a student. No one ever proved it.

And now he was just… standing here. Close. Still silent.

I realized I was still staring at him and quickly looked away, checking my phone.

7:25 p.m.

“Shit,” I muttered. “I really have to go.”

I stepped to the side, intending to walk around him but before I could, his hand shot out and grabbed my upper arm, stopping me.

“Huh?” I said, startled, looking up at him.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked, confused.

“Yes,” he said quietly.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Sieun gently took your hand, his touch soft but firm—too firm. His thumb began to slowly caress your knuckles in a way that might’ve been tender in another context, but here, in the dim, narrow alley with no one else around, it felt wrong. Too intimate.

I tried to pull my hand back. He didn’t let go.

His brown eyes locked onto yours, glassy and intense, shimmering with something deep—and off. It wasn’t just affection. It was…I couldn’t even describe what it was it just made my skin crawl.

“I…” he murmured, his voice low and breathy, his voice curling through the silence like smoke. “From the moment I first saw you, I knew you were someone special.”

I tugged on my arm again, harder this time. His grip only tightened.

“Your beauty,” he whispered, leaning closer, “your spirit, your essence... it calls to me in a way I can’t even describe.”

I tried to speak—tried to tell him to stop, to let go—but he lifted my hand to his lips before I could, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss to my fingertips. His breath was warm against my skin, but it chilled me to the core.

“I want to love you,” he continued, voice trembling slightly now, but not with fear—with hunger. “Cherish you. Keep you safe from all the darkness in this world.”

I shook my head, stepping back, but he followed, holding your hand like a lifeline. His other hand hovered as if ready to grab my shoulder next.

“You are my everything, my love,” he said, his voice almost breaking with the weight of emotion. “I would do anything—absolutely anything—to make you happy. To keep you by my side.”

A pause.

“Forever.”

His eyes bored into mine—full of longing, desperation, and something darker. Possessiveness. Obsession. There was no softness in it anymore. Only need.

“Tell me you feel it too,” he whispered. “Tell me I’m not alone in this. This… desire. To have you and to never let you go.”

I yanked my arm again. His grip didn’t loosen.

“Tell me,” he said voice lower now, more of a demand than a plea “or I’ll show you how far I’m willing to go to prove it.”

“Sieun…” I said quietly, gently pulling my hand from his. The way his brow furrowed made my chest tighten, but I had to say it. “I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way.” I hesitated, then added softly, “I need to go.” ” 

Sieun's expression darkened, his grip on my hand tightening to the point of pain as a flicker of anger sparked in his brown eyes. "What do you mean, you don't feel the same way?" he demanded, his voice rising in volume and intensity. 

He slammed his free hand against the wall beside my head, the force of it making me jump. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice. Don't try to deny it, You want me just as much as I want you."

Sieun leaned in closer, his face mere inches from mine. His eyes were wild, his breath coming in short, sharp bursts. "You can't reject me. You can't walk away from this, from me. I won't let you." His voice dropped to a chilling whisper, "I'll do whatever it takes to make you understand. Whatever it takes to keep you with me, where you belong."

“Sieun!” I shouted, panic spiking as I twisted in his grip. “Let me go!”

He didn’t. His fingers dug into my arm, holding me tight no matter how hard I fought. I kicked, shoved, clawed at his chest, but it only made him grip harder.

Then his hand snapped up, grabbing my jaw.

“No—” I tried to turn away, but it was too late.

His mouth crashed onto mine—forceful, uninvited, wrong. I froze, my heart slamming in my chest as his lips moved against mine, stealing my first kiss.

His other hand clawed at my waist, then my hair, dragging me closer, trapping me in a moment I never asked for.

“Please,” I gasped, tears burning in my throat. “Please stop…”

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I have to show you how much I love you…”

But the way he said it—it wasn’t to me. It was like he was trying to convince himself.

My body went still as I felt his hand at the hem of my skirt. “Sieun—” My voice broke as panic surged up my spine.

He didn’t stop.

I gripped his wrist, eyes wide, silently begging him. Please. Don’t.

But he didn’t look at me. Didn’t hear me.

Tears blurred my vision as I felt his fingers brush over my underwear, dragging slowly across the thin fabric, pressing where he had no right to be.

“No—please—” I choked, but the words came out soft, drowned beneath his breath and the sound of my own fear.

His mouth was still chasing mine, desperate, sloppy, ignoring the way I kept turning my face away.

And all I could do was try to leave my body behind.

Think of anything else. Somewhere else.

Anywhere that wasn’t here.

I snapped back to reality when something felt… off. A strange feeling crawled through me.

“Please…” I whispered, breathless. “Don’t…”

His lips ghosted over my jaw. “Don’t what?” he asked. “Don’t stop?”

And when his fingers slipped beneath the fabric and pressed harder—rougher—I shattered.

My body trembled as the climax hit, sharp and unexpected, pleasure crashing through me like betrayal. He felt it. Knew it. And still didn’t stop.

“Oh god…” I whimpered, dazed, body slick with heat and shame.

Sieun only smiled against my neck. “Now,” he said, voice low and reverent, “I’m going to show you how much I love you.”

He didn’t wait.

He spun me around and pressed me against the wall, the cold surface biting at my flushed skin. My palms slapped against it, trying to steady myself as his hands were already dragging my skirt up over my hips rough.

“Stay there,” he ordered, voice darker now. “Keep those legs open.”

Then he grabbed my soaked panties and yanked them down, letting them fall around my thighs. The air hit me, hot and cool all at once.

“Please stop,” I whispered, voice trembling. “What if someone sees us?”

“Don’t worry about that,” Sieun murmured, his breath hot against my skin. “Just focus on me.”

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t focus on him.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t pretend this felt right.

All I wanted was to be anywhere else—anywhere but here. 

I felt him behind me, his cock hard, hot, rubbing between my folds without mercy.

“You’re fucking soaked,” he growled. “You act like you don’t want this—then your pussy tells me everything I need to know.”

“Shut up,” I breathed, face pressed to the wall—but my body rolled back against him anyway, needy and desperate.

He grunted, gripping my hips hard, fingers digging into the soft curve. “You want to be used, don’t you?”

I didn’t answer.

He drove into me with one brutal thrust.

I cried out, my body jolting as he filled me—thick, deep, relentless.

“Fucking tight,” he growled through gritted teeth. “This is mine now.”

His hips snapped forward again, and again, slamming into me with no rhythm—just need. I gasped, the slap of skin-on-skin echoing through the room, my legs already shaking, fingers clawing at the wall for something to hold onto.

Every thrust forced a moan from my mouth, ragged and helpless.

“Say it,” he growled, one hand sliding around to grab my throat, pulling me back against him. “Say you love being fucked like this.”

I whimpered, his cock slamming into me again. My body clenched around him, wet and pulsing.

“Say it.”

“I—I love it,” I gasped, my voice cracking. “Sieun….please…”

He slammed into me harder, punishing now. “You take me so well,” he murmured into my ear, hips snapping forward again. “Like you were made for this.” 

His fingers found my clit again, rubbing fast and tight. I sobbed, hips jerking back into him as my body shattered.

My climax tore through me—raw and intense—my walls gripping him hard, my legs shaking, my cries muffled by the wall.

“Cum all over my cock,” he hissed, “God, that’s it… fuck—”

With a low, guttural moan, he slammed into me one last time, hips grinding deep as he spilled inside me, heat flooding me in thick pulses.

My body wrecked, his chest pressed to my back, breath hot against my shoulder.

Then slowly—his hand slid around my waist, pulling me gently into him.

“See?” he whispered, voice suddenly soft, almost tender. “I love you so much… You did so fucking good.”

But I didn’t feel good.

I felt hollow.

Tears slipped down my cheeks, silent and hot, even as he pulled out gently. He adjusted my underwear with care that felt too late, then turned me to face him.

His eyes searched mine for something I couldn’t give.

He leaned in, pressed a kiss to my lips—gentle, like that would erase everything.

Then he smiled faintly and said, “Okay. Let’s take you home.”

fin

© 2025 mymelllllinda

[rositaslabyrinth]

Don’t open that drawer - Dean W

Dean x fem!reader

While patching yourself up after a rough hunt, you find yourself in Dean’s room late at night—only to discover a drawer he forgot to close.

Content warning ; canon typical violence, emotional vulnerability, smut, oral (f!receiving) but nothing to crazy, dean being a sweet coward <33

Word count ; 1,511

Minors please do not interact !!

You never meant to find them.

It was late—past midnight—and the Bunker was unusually quiet. Sam had already gone to bed, the echoes of his footsteps fading down the hall hours ago. You’d stayed up patching your jacket, a fresh tear sliced through the arm from the hunt earlier that day. Dean had said he’d help, but he never came back from the garage.

You figured he was brooding. He did that, after a close call. And tonight had been closer than usual.

The kitchen light flickered as you passed, mug in hand. You made your way to Dean’s room instead—mostly because it was closer than yours, and partly because you were tired of pretending that wasn’t a habit.

He always left the door unlocked.

The room smelled like him—leather, old cologne, whiskey, something earthy underneath. You set your mug on his nightstand and dropped into the chair by his desk, rubbing your sore arm. His flannel was slung over the back of it. You pulled it on without thinking.

That’s when you noticed the drawer.

The bottom right. Slightly ajar. Not enough to catch the eye unless you were sitting this close.

You didn’t mean to open it.

But there was a curl of paper sticking out.

At first you thought it was one of his old case notes, shoved out of sight. But the handwriting was neater. More intentional. And then you saw your name.

Your name. On the top of the page. Centered. Underlined.

Your chest tightened. You knew you should stop. But your fingers moved on their own.

“You had blood on your cheek tonight. You didn’t even notice. I wanted to wipe it off, but I didn’t. I just watched you laugh with Sam like we hadn’t almost died. I think that’s what kills me. That after everything, you still know how to laugh. You make the worst parts of this job feel less like hell. And God, I want to tell you that. But I never do. So I’m writing it down, instead.”

Your hands trembled. You unfolded another.

“I had a dream about you. You were wearing one of my shirts, standing in the library. You didn’t say anything. You just looked at me like you already knew. And for once, I didn’t feel like running.”

There were more. Dozens. Some torn out of notebooks, some written on scraps of diner napkins, lined legal pads, the backs of maps. Your name on every single one.

And they weren’t just sweet, or romantic. Some were angry. Frustrated. Devastated.

You walked into the room today and smiled at me like I was someone worth loving.

“I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve that, but I know I’ll never be brave enough to say what I should. So this’ll sit in a drawer. Just like the others.”

You didn’t realize you were crying until a drop hit the page.

“Hey.”

You jumped, heart thudding. You hadn’t heard the door.

Dean stood in the doorway, keys in hand, jaw clenched, green eyes locked on the drawer you’d pulled open.

He didn’t yell. Didn’t rush to snatch the papers away.

He just said, quietly, “You weren’t supposed to read those.”

“I know,” you said. Your voice cracked. “I didn’t mean to. I just… I saw my name.”

Dean stepped inside slowly, closing the door behind him. For a moment, he didn’t move. Then he leaned back against it like he needed something to hold him up.

“I wrote them when I couldn’t say it out loud,” he admitted. “Didn’t think anyone would ever see them. Especially not you.”

“Why not?”

He looked down. “Because if you knew how long I’ve felt this way, you’d either hate me for keeping it quiet or pity me for being too much of a coward to do anything about it.”

You stood, slowly, letter still in your hand.

“You’re not a coward.”

Dean gave a soft, broken laugh. “You don’t know how many times I almost told you. How many nights I sat right there—” he nodded toward the desk—“and thought about knocking on your door. But I’d look at you the next day, and you’d smile, and I’d think… if I tell her, she might stop smiling at me like that.”

Your chest ached.

You crossed the room and stopped in front of him. The silence was thick—too full of everything unsaid.

“I never would’ve stopped,” you whispered. “Not ever.”

He looked at you then. Really looked. And all the years of buried emotion hit the surface like a storm breaching a dam.

“God, I’m in love with you,” he said. “I’ve been in love with you since you walked into that diner in Nevada with a busted lip and a silver blade and said, ‘You boys need backup?’”

You smiled through the tears. “I remember that. You said, ‘Only if you’ve got whiskey.’”

He huffed a soft laugh. “You had some in your boot.”

“And you smiled at me like you hadn’t done that in years.”

Dean stared at you. “Because I hadn’t.”

You reached for his hand, gently, lacing your fingers with his. “Then stop writing me letters you’ll never send.”

He squeezed your hand like he never wanted to let go. “Can I kiss you now?”

“You’d better.”

When Dean kissed you this time, it wasn’t restrained. It was everything. The hesitation was gone, stripped away by years of closeness, tension, aching want, and love too long buried. It was the kiss of a man who had written you into the quiet spaces of his life, who had bled feelings onto paper because his mouth had failed him too many times.

His hands cupped your jaw, thumbs brushing tears you didn’t remember falling. You melted into him, fingers fisting into the front of his henley like your body finally recognized where it was meant to belong.

The kiss deepened — slow, hot, careful, then not-so-careful.

Dean pulled you flush against him, one hand sliding down to rest at your waist, gripping tight like he couldn’t believe this was real.

You let out a soft, shaky sound into his mouth — something between a gasp and a whimper — and felt his whole body tense in response.

He pulled back just enough to search your face. “Tell me if this is too fast. I mean it.”

“It’s not,” you said. “Dean… I’ve wanted this for so long.”

His expression softened. “Me too.”

He kissed you again — more urgent now, more certain — and walked you back toward the bed. His hands were everywhere, warm and calloused, reverent as they slipped beneath your shirt, memorizing the feel of you like he’d dreamed it more times than he could count.

When your shirt came off, he stared like you were sacred.

“God,” he whispered. “You’re beautiful.”

Your hands trembled when you pulled his shirt over his head. The soft light of the bunker caught the scar across his collarbone, the curve of muscle, the slight freckle near his ribs you’d noticed years ago and never forgotten.

You touched him like the letters — slow and sure and aching. He groaned low in his throat when your palms slid across his chest.

“Lie back,” he said, voice thick. “Let me take care of you.”

You did.

Dean kissed every inch of skin he uncovered — from your collarbone to your stomach, your hips, the inside of your thighs. His hands gripped you like he was terrified you’d vanish if he let go. He kissed like he was still writing to you, but now with his mouth and body — all the things he couldn’t say poured out in sighs and touches.

When his mouth found the place between your legs, you gasped — arching into him, fingers buried in his hair.

“Dean—”

He groaned against you like your voice undid him.

You tried to speak — to tell him how good it felt, how long you’d dreamed about this — but your words fell apart under the heat of his tongue and the rhythm he set. Slow. Devoted. The kind of touch that said I’ve thought about this a hundred different ways, but nothing compares to the real thing.

When you came, it was with a cry of his name, your thighs trembling around his shoulders, your whole body curling in on itself.

He kissed your inner thigh, then crawled back up your body and kissed your lips like he wanted to taste the sound you’d just made.

“Still with me?” he asked, eyes full of warmth and wonder.

You nodded, dazed and smiling. “Still here.”

“Good.” He kissed your forehead. “Because I’m not done.”

Later, when he finally wrapped you in his arms on that old mattress, the letters still sat on the desk. Open. Read. Finally seen.

“I was gonna burn them one day,” he murmured into your hair.

“Don’t,” you whispered. “They’re part of us now.”

He was quiet for a moment.

Then he said, “You know what’s funny?”

“What?”

“I don’t need the drawer anymore.”

Liz talks : GUESS WHOS BACK!! HEYYY did you miss me cause i missed all of you <33 I am so sorry about being away for so long but this app was lowkey draining me, but we should be all good now !! I hope you all enjoy this sweet little thing :))

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[mia-maybank]

I Have A Feeling You Got Everything You Wanted: Part 3 - George Clarke

George Clarke x Fem!reader (2.2k words)

The sidemen charity match , a gorgeous ex-boyfriend with a mullet and his entire friendgroup scattered around the stands to avoid ... what could ever go wrong?

warnings: alcohol consumption, throwing up (not graphic more just mentioned), a sickening amount of pet names bcs I can't help it??

series | masterlist

I'm so sorry this took a while to get out, I started my A-level exams this week and moved house so its been hell :') Thank you guys for being so patient!

Also I'm thinking this series is gonna be around 6-8 parts but if there's any other moments or headcannon type stuff people would like to see around this series I would love to do lil bonus chapters as well!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The others don't notice our entrance into the changing room at first, too busy playfighting, jokingly arguing with one another and Chris attempting to waterboard Stephen with his half-empty water bottle. Both teams seemed to have congregated to the Sidemen FC changing room, the plentiful blurs of black and red only amplifying the sickening swirl of nerves in my stomach.

Harry is the first to notice us, and whilst he makes a valiant effort at a poker face, his widened eyes give away how despite being one of the group that ran into me on the stairs, he did not expect George to bring me back here.

Will spots us next, his hands dropping to our linked pinkies with a furrowed brow before he bounces over to us without a second thought.

"Ay, Y/n! Long time no see mate" he calls out before pulling me into a bone-crushing hug that I quickly reciprocate, feeling something in my heart heal slightly from somebody being so openly affectionate following weeks of being touch-starved.

His greeting announces my presence to the rest of the group, and the chaos trudges to a halt as the others turn their attention to me. My head swims with anxiety, and I feel the sudden need to bolt from the room and find somewhere quiet and lonely and safe to hide, away from the shell-shocked stares of my ... found family? friends? ex-friends? I wasn't quite sure where we stood anymore, our friendships balancing on a delicate scale that had been accumulating dust for the past 2 months and is now going to tip one way or the other.

"Y/n where the fuck have you been?" Theo barks out, making me recoil slightly, anticipating the angry ramble that The was well-known for when he felt strongly about something. To my surprise, he instead pulls me into a bone crushing hug, and the relief hits me like a freight truck when I realise that I'm not being stared at with judgement, but rather soft smiles and relieved expressions from the rest of the group. "I thought you'd died or moved to another country or something stupid like that" Theo murmurs, accompanied by a small sniffle.

"Theo Baker, are you crying?" I half-tease, half enquire in concern as he turns away from me, clearly trying to hide the tears in his eyes and the way his ears have turned red from embarrassment of being caught. "No, fuck off, I forgot how annoying you are" he responds, making me laugh lightly, a sound I haven't made in months, as he adds on "you're seriously never allowed to vanish like that again though, that was terrifying".

As soon as Theo pulls away fully, I'm swarmed with choruses of "you're back!", "I missed you so much" and "where have you been for the last 2 months?" as well as bone-crushing hugs from each and every person, even Chip and Calfreezy, who come in to investigate the commotion. Through the arms of the various boys, I spot George in the corner next to Chris, staring at me with a fond and familiar gaze that makes my cheeks warm and my heart flutter. I duck my head quickly into the shoulder of Stephen (who is in the middle of half-crushing me in a hug and half-lecturing me about my disappearance in his usual sarcastic manner) before George can notice my rosy cheeks and realise how much he still affects me.

Despite the warm welcome from each individual, there is still an underlying tension thickening the room, the type of tension that cannot be avoided or ignored. Sure enough, Chris steps over to me, his smile sincere and loving but his eyes holding a quiet sadness as he guides me gently to sit on the bench between him and George.

"Y/n, I think you need to speak to the guys about what you told me earlier... only if you want to of course but I think it's important that they know how hard the last 2 months have been" Chris encourages gently, his soothing tone having little effect on me as I immediately begin to shake my head in panic.

"Y/n love, it's okay. Me and Chris are right here with you" George chimes in, warm fingers interlocking with my own, and if I wasn't so focused on George's soft gaze, I would have noticed the suggestive glances the others were throwing at me and George.

I take a deep breath, squeezing George's hand tightly as a way to soothe my nerves, before turning to address the group. "After - after the breakup it was - hard to say the least" I begin, avoiding eye contact with everybody. "I know I didn't reach out to any of you and that's my fault, but when nobody contacted me after the breakup I thought you had all taken George's side and I can't lie that fucking hurt." my voice cracks now, but I push on, refusing to stop now that I have already said so much. "It felt like my life kind of stopped following the breakup - I had no friends, no motivation to film for my youtube channel and no reason to get out of bed most days. Today is the first time I've left my flat in the last 8 weeks, and I don't think I can go back to being that alone again". Tears are streaming freely down my face now and I wipe them away, embarrassed at how much I'm breaking down in front of such a large group.

A deadly silence stretches on for an unbearable 30 seconds before Stephen is the one that dares to break it. "Y/n I'm so fucking sorry" he apologises, his usually humour and sarcasm entirely void. "That was so fucking shitty of us and there's no excuse for that".

I shake my head, tears embarrassingly springing to my eyes once more. "I don't blame you guys-".

"Y/n" George cuts me off gently, tightening his grip on my hand and looking down at me with a small frown full of guilt. "You should blame us because we should of reached out, hell even I should have checked in and that's that, okay?" Despite his gentle tone, his voice leaves no room for argument, so I instead lean into him, allowing the guys to embrace me in a tangle of limbs and sincere apologies.

~~~

I should have predicted that drinking so much would end in disaster.

The night had started not far from perfect, with me further reuniting with Arthur Hill (my musically-talented ex-flatmate that I had lived with for years alongside Chris and George), Arthur Frederick (my museum partner who had spent hours with me info-dumping on each other about our own niche interests and the only person who can beat me at chess) and Isaac (my much newer,but just as close-knit friend who had been brought into our friend group by Arthur and had slotted right in like it was always meant to be). I had further been brought right back into the fold of the girls, following a teary reunion with Liv, Talia and Sabina.

As well as reuniting with my friends, I had spent most of the night tucked into George's side, allowing myself to find solace in his muscular arms. We had spent most of the night sharing one glass between the two of us simply because we could, giggling and dancing around together like the last 2 months had never happened at all.

However, I should have taken into consideration the fact that I have drank zero alcohol since the breakup, not trusting myself not to develop an addiction, and therefore my tolerance has plummeted drastically. That is how I find myself in my current position; hunched over the club's disabled toilet (for the female one's were full), throwing my guts up as my vision swims and my consciousness decreases by every passing second.

I am so lost in my drunken haze that I barely register the frantic knocking at the door, or the sound of my name being frantically called. The next thing I know, the door, which I clearly must of forgotten to lock, is pushed cautiously open, and there are warm hands cupping my face, guiding me to look the intruder. George, with an equally worried Chris following behind him and coming to crouch at my other side.

"Grab some water?" I vaguely hear George ask, and Chris speeds off once more, to presumably get the water George requested.

"Sweetheart, can you hear me?" George questions, his voice so so gentle and full of concern. I nod slightly before heaving again and throwing myself back over the toilet, George wincing before moving to crouch behind me, holding my hair in a ponytail with one hand whilst rubbing my back with the other. "Do you have a bobble, love?" he continues, and rather than attempting a verbal response I stick my wrist out, allowing him to detach the bobble from my wrist and tie my hair back. He is gentle and methodical, being mindful not to tug too hard or snag on any knots.

I throw up once again, the unsettling feeling of it ripping a sob out of my throat, and he immediately pulls me into his arms, undetterred by the fact I am sweaty, snivelling and still gagging slightly.

"It's okay lovey, I've got you" he murmurs, holding me steady. "Jesus, have you gone on an alcohol ban since the breakup or something?" he jokes, attempted to make me laugh, but in my drunken state I can only blink at him like a lost puppy.

"If I started drinking i didn't trust that I would be able to stop" I slur out, too gone to notice the way his face drops.

"Oh sunshine" he finally chokes out, placing light kisses on my forehead and cheek, and it is then that I register George is nowhere near sober either.

"Georgie, are you drunk?" I tilt my head back against his chest to gaze up at him, admiring his strong jaw and his sparkling eyes.

"You've definitely beat me in the drunk department, love, don't you worry" he chuckles, tightening his hold on me as I melt into his chest, trying to push away the gnawing fear at the back of my mind that I may not get another chance to cuddle him like this once we are sober.

Chris finally comes back, holding a glass of water, and to his credit doesn't bat an eyelid at the intimate position me and George are in.

"Drink up" he hold the glass to my lips, tilting it for me, however I don't manage to drink much as my body chooses that moment to entirely give up and collapse into George's arms like a ragdoll.

I faintly hear the panicked exclamation of "shit" from Chris as I am picked up in my half conscious state by George, as he cradles me to his chest bridle-style.

"Don't - don't wanna go home, s'lonely and full of bad thoughts- scary" I slur out.

"Don't worry angel, you're coming home with us" is the last thing I hear George say before my vision fades entirely to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[softlymellow]

The Order Forgot Me First - Chapter 10

☆⁠ PAIRING : Anakin Skywalker x Reader

☆⁠ word count: 4.3k

☆⁠ story themes: lovers to enemies to eventually lovers

☆⁠ warnings: spoilers to swtcw, angstttt

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

"The city didn’t care. The war didn’t stop."

Anakin’s chest rose up and down frantically as he watched you disappear. He could only feel anger and disappointment. Disappointed at your insensitivity. Disappointed in himself…

He hated to admit it but he himself wanted to forget about all of this. To take you in his arms, caress your hair and feel your warmth. But he couldn’t. There was something inside of him, a lingering feeling that wouldn’t escape. It felt like revenge. Like he wanted you to feel his pain and suffering while you were suffering. 

He wanted you to know just how much he tried for you in the past year. Only for you to come back, no apology and no explanation. 

It wasn’t something a Jedi should be feeling. He should be rejoiced that you were even alive. 

But he didn’t feel that. It felt like he had a volcano in his stomach bubbling, waiting to explode.

So he went to the only place where he could let out his frustration with no shame. No regards for the Jedi code. He wanted to hit something and let it be okay. 

Anakin made his way to the Jedi temples training wing. His head felt hot and his hands were in fists. 

The training room was dark. He didn’t turn the lights on. He didn’t need to. The red glow of the emitter pads lit the room enough. 

His cloak was already on the floor and his saber ignited with a hiss so loud and abrupt it startled the stillness of the room. 

Blue lit up his own face in violent flashes as lunged forward and swung at the automated saber droid designed for training. Not destruction.

And he hit hard. 

Again.

And again until the droid automatically went into defence mode. 

But Anakin didn’t give it any time as moved to destroy it, not train with it. 

CLASH. SNAP. WHIRL. 

Anakin moved his body with gritted teeth and he slammed his saber through the droid's core and sent it crashing against the wall. 

His chest rose and fell in short gasps as he felt sweat beading off his forehead. He then dropped to his knees. 

And then—

A soft beep. 

A little trill. 

He looked up to see R2-D2 rolling into the room, checking up on Anakin as he always did. Anakin and R2-D2 had a special bond. It wasn’t just master and astromech. R2 was a friend to him. An attachment he shouldn’t have but Anakin would go to great lengths just to save R2. 

Another beep. Quieter. 

Anakin’s eyes burned and he wasn’t sure when they began to water. 

“Don’t look at me like that…” He muttered. 

R2 let out another trill, this time more like a question. 

“I don’t know, okay?” His voice cracked. “I don’t know why I care so much. I don’t know what I’m doing. She’s not--she’s not even the same person anymore.”

Anakin crossed his legs and his saber deactivated in his lap. His mechanical hand ran through his hair — frustrated. 

R2 chirped again. 

Anakin laughed once, sharp. 

“What? You want me to say I messed up?” He shook his head, his hair still sticking to his forehead. “That I yelled at her? That I made her hate me even more than she already did?”

R2’s dome rotated as if he was shaking his head ‘no’. 

“I practised every insult in my head for months. I thought that if I saw her again I’d be strong. Cold.” His hand slammed against the rubber pads on the floor. “But she accepted that offer like nothing had even happened. Like I didn’t even matter.”

Anakin leaned back against the cold wall. He closed his eyes.

“I don’t know anymore.” 

Beeeppp

Anakin looked down at his wrist as his comms were ringing.

Obi-wan. 

Sighing, he rubbed a hand across his face and blinked away any sign of whatever just happened. Pressing the small button on the left, Obi-wan's voice was heard. 

“You left the meeting rather fast.”

Anakin rolled his eyes and stifled a groan. “I had things to do.”

“Well, whatever it is, you will have to continue later. The Council has a mission for you.” Obi-wan said.

“What is it?” Anakin furrowed his eyebrows. 

“To fully wrap up this case, one of us do need to visit Dev in the detention center and make up a report.”

“And why can’t you do that?” Anakin inquired. 

“I have things to do.” Obi-wan mocked. Anakin could almost imagine the smirk on his face. 

Anakin audibly groaned and rose up from his spot on the floor. “You owe me for this.”

“This is part of your role as a Jedi,” Obi-wan said matter of factly, “I will see you soon.” And just like that the call disconnected and Anakin was left with a task he definitely did not want. 

“This day just keeps getting better and better…” Anakin said aloud. 

Whrrrrrp

R2 trilled, amused over Anakin’s situation yet happy that he rose up. 

--- --- --- --- --- ---

You sat by the fountain, your palms rubbing at your sore red eyes. This was all stupid. Why did you let him affect you like this? Why couldn’t you have just walked away. 

The silence pressed against you harder with every passing second. A breeze drifted through and gently nudged your hair. 

With a quiet sigh, you pushed yourself to your feet. You turned around and towards the wall, wanting to cut across the courtyard —straight to your room. The temple courtyard buzzed with life. 

Clone troopers prepping transports, some snickering at their own banter and some gathering supplies. You used to have your own clones. Just like Anakin —his 501’st— and Obi-wan’s 212th. But you weren’t a Jedi Knight anymore. So you lost yours. You probably lost it just as fast as you left. The war continued. A new Knight would take your place. 

No one turned their heads towards you or stopped when you passed. Don’t think any of them noticed. 

Until one did. 

“Commander?” 

Commander?

No one had called you that for far too long. 

You whipped your head around. 

Captain Rex. 

Rex tucked his helmet under his arm, his mouth slightly agape, his armour dusty and his hair seemed blonder than you remembered. 

“Force,” he said, approaching slowly and blinking like he couldn’t believe it. “It really is you.”

You forced a smile on your face, suddenly hyper aware that your nose might’ve been equally as red as your eyes. “Rex.” You swallowed. 

And then a warm smile crept up his face. “Didn’t think we’d ever see you again.”

You smiled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck. “Yeah, well. Things happened,” you tried to laugh it off. 

Rex shifted his helmet to his other hand, “word is that you will be joining us in our expeditions.” 

You narrowed your eyes at this, “us as in…?”

“General Skywalker,” he scratched his chin. “I think that includes General Kenobi’s 212th.”

You held back a groan and instead began to rub the skin under your lips anxiously. “Seriously?” You grumbled. 

“Seems like you guys know more than me,” You forced out an awkward chuckle. 

Rex shrugged, “word gets around fast around here.” And then with a cheeky smile, “I’m sure Sir was ecstatic to see you.”

“Anakin?” You questioned, taken aback.

“You know how he is. Wouldn’t say it outright, but…you could tell.” His voice more gentle now. “Every free second he had, he spent it with R2.” He added. “Thought he was fixing comm relays. But we knew.”

“He was still trying to reach you.”’

You felt your heart pang. You didn’t know what to say. Biting your lip, your brain scrambled to find anything to say. 

“Well…um…He was definitely-” You stuttered. “Emotional?”

So what the hell was the deal with Padme? Why did he have to make things so much more complicated for you than they already are. 

Force. 

Rex immediately sensed the way you uncomfortably shifted weights between your feet. To spare you, he changed the topic. His gaze grifted briefly to your untouched saber at your belt, then back up to your eyes. “You’re gonna be needed,” he said. “We’re spread thin. Too thin.”

You then looked at him, really looked at him.

This wasn’t about orders and pride from the council. It was about survival.

“It’s not the same,” you said, looking down. 

“No,” he agreed, his voice low. “But we’re not the same either.”

You glanced back at the Temple. Maybe you didn’t belong here. But you were needed. As much as you hated it, you had nowhere else to go. You already tried that. 

Before you could answer, a call crackled through Rex’s comms. He grimaced. 

“Gotta go,” he said, lifting his helmet and tucking it down under his chin. “But…it’s good to see you again. Really.”

“Likewise.” You shot him a small smile. 

He then turned away and jogged off. You stood there alone. Reality dawning upon you. You couldn’t ignore both Anakin and Obi-wan as much as you wanted to. You were all so close knit so of course they would place you under their supervision. 

Your shoulders slumped and you felt a ball of anxiety grow in your stomach. You weren’t excited for this. Not one bit. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Anakin’s boots echoed as they hit the durasteel floor in rhythmic taps. 

In his usual confidence, he walked with his shoulders set, one hand on a datapad, the other swinging at his side. His gloved fingers were twitching like they wanted to grab something more useful than a report. 

He didn’t look around or glance at the other hallways. He knew this level. 

Level 6, Cellblock.

Judicial Detention Center, Coruscant. 

It was the level where high risk detainees were kept. Prisoners of war. Assassins. Dev. 

The corridor was narrow and lined up with holding cells built for function, not comfort. White-blue lightning. A singular bed and just enough room to sit, pace and regret. 

His nose crinkled as the place reeked of sterilisation fluid. 

As Anakin passed cells, he couldn’t miss the people who muttered to themselves, rocking in place. The ones who were scarred and slouched against the wall, eyeing him carefully. 

Anakin didn’t break stride to look at them, he didn’t need to. His presence said enough. 

Glancing down at the datapad as he neared the end of the hall, he tapped against Dev’s record. 

Bounty: Two confirmed Jedi targets — dead or alive. 

Affiliation: Independent. Known associate ‘Ani’ (alias). 

He felt his mouth twitch. 

Anakin paused at the final cell. And inside was Dev. 

Dev who sat against the edge of his bed, his wrists bound in stun cuffs, his ankles chained to the floor. He didn’t look up right away. 

Grabbing something in his pocket, Anakin pulled out an ID tag and scanned the scanner. The cell door slid open with a hiss. And then he grabbed a chair with rough hands that was placed at the end of the hall, where a guard would most likely watch overnight. The chair scratched the floor as he pulled it in the cell. 

Anakin stepped in, his shoulders broad and his face unreadable. 

Dev finally looked up, neither of them smiled or showed any emotion. 

Anakin sat on the chair across from Dev, clearing his throat, ready to begin. 

“Full name, Dev Lowsyk, correct?”

Dev didn’t say anything. 

Anakin’s expression darkened. 

“Answer.”

Dev rolled his eyes. “How long will this take?”

“If you work with me then we won’t be longer than 10.”

Dev looked down, his chest rose up slowly. “Correct.” He then exhaled. 

“Age twenty-one?”

Dev nodded. 

“Left the order at 15, yadda yadda yadda…” Anakin scrolled through the datapad before pausing at his most recent history. 

“Bounties including specifically targeting Jedi. And the Corellia bombing.” Anakin looked up from his datapad, a stern look on his face. 

Dev shifted slightly. His jaw was bruised —no doubt from the temple guards that dragged him in— and his knee was wrapped in bandages. 

Anakin continued, his voice level. “Tell me who paid you.” 

“You’d think I’d tell you?” 

“It wasn’t a request.”

Dev gave a sharp breath through his nose. “Look, I don’t keep receipts, alright? I get the target and then I get my credits. That’s how it works.”

“You’re telling me you don’t know who you deal with?” Anakin’s eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, the datapad forgotten now.

“We don’t ask questions,” Dev shrugged, “they aren’t usually too eager to tell anyways.”

Anakin paused at the mention of ‘we’. 

“And Y/n?” Anakin felt himself tiptoeing around a topic he knew himself wouldn’t like. “Did she know about the bombing?”

Something flickered in Dev’s face. So imperceptible. But Anakin saw it. 

Dev’s lips twitched. “You mean, Ani?” Anakin felt his stomach twist at his nickname. At the alias you chose to have. “She didn’t know.”

Anakin didn’t blink. 

He felt the Force in the room thicken with tension. 

“Let’s talk about you two.” Anakin crossed his arms defensively. “Where did you meet, Y/n?”

“Jakku.” Dev answered honestly. “I helped her get out of her Jedi clothes. She seemed pretty useful so that’s how we ended up here.” 

Jakku?

That was where you had been all along? 

The most remote, lawless planet in the outer rim. Anakin wanted to hit himself because how couldn’t he have thought of that? It was a planet for refugees, outlaws, thieves. It was the most perfect place you could retreat to. Still, there were too many systems for him to pick but he just wished he could have done different. 

Anakin cleared his throat, trying to not it affect him in front of Dev. “She worked with you for over a year. You coordinated jobs together,” Anakin nodded to himself, trying to understand the picture. 

“We recently had our one year anniversary,” Dev corrected.

Anakin ignored him. “So why take her in at all?”

Dev huffed a dry breath. “It’s not every day you see a rogue Jedi.” Anakin didn’t say anything, but gave Dev a hard stare, not satisfied with his answer. 

“Look, I saw myself in her. She didn’t know who to trust. Didn’t care if she lived through the next week, but still she wanted to find her footing.” Dev leaned forward. “She had the skills, I needed an extra hand, she had nowhere else to go, so it worked out.”

Anakin’s throat tightened, but said nothing.

“It wasn’t anything romantic,” Dev added, a strand of his golden hair falling over his eye. “I respect her. I still do. And then Dev’s mouth curled downwards, in an expression Anakin could almost describe as disgust. “But not when she acts like a Jedi.” Dev referenced the moments when you would defend the Order as if they didn’t abandon both you and him. When he saw the way you immediately obeyed Anakin and Obi-wan after being found, it made him realise the flaws you had. 

Anakin allowed him to continue, watching the way Dev shook his head as if he wanted to forget about that part of you. “She would give credits back to the kids on the outer moons. Never kept any for herself.”

Dev went quiet for a moment as if he was thinking. Then casually—

“She used to have this old comm receiver. Beat to hell. It never left her wrist.” 

Anakin’s head lifted, his eyes widened in slow realisation. “And what did she do with it?” He asked carefully. 

Dev watched Anakin with a growing smirk, like he was a predator and Anakin was the prey. Dev knew which buttons to push. 

“Oh, she didn’t tell you? She used to listen to your messages. Quiet little habit. Helped her fall asleep, I think.” Dev shrugged it off.

Anakin didn’t speak. He couldn’t. 

His jaw clenched hard and his teeth ached. His grip on the datapad was so tight it could almost crush underneath his white knuckles. His stomach twisted in knots and he suddenly felt very nauseous. It wasn’t because he didn’t believe Dev — but because he did. 

Because Anakin knew the way you would sleep. 

Anakin knew that you needed something to hold. Something to ground you. Whether he would spend the night in your room —your arms around his chest— or when you missed his voice when he was away, he would send you encrypted voice messages. 

You heard him. This entire time. 

Anakin stood slowly, trying his hardest to keep a neutral expression on his face. He didn’t want Dev to think that it affected him. 

“Where are you going?” Dev asked coyly. 

“I think our time is done here.” And without letting Dev have another word in, he made his way out the cell door. 

The door slid shut behind him with a hiss. 

Anakin didn’t stop walking and he most certainly didn’t look back. He didn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe either.

Dev’s words replayed in his head over and over again. 

Anakin turned a corner and into the turbolift, wanting to get out of here as fast as he could. He wanted to punch a wall but instead he closed his eyes. 

Anakin had spent a year telling himself you didn’t care, that you had moved on, that you didn’t miss him at all. 

And now — now it was a shitty truth in his hands and he didn’t know what to do with it. 

He didn’t know anymore. 

Maybe he could call Padme? Padme knew how he felt about you. Especially while you were away. But now that you were back in the picture, it felt like he couldn’t. Like the problem was here, head on, and not tucked away in the corners of his heart and mind.

He wanted to sleep. 

He wanted to forget about you. 

Forget about everything you two had together.

Forget about the kind, sweet girl he grew to love.

He had wished he argued against Obi-wan and not taken this task. 

That night, Anakin didn’t go to bed. Instead, he stared blankly at the endless lights of Coruscant. 

The city didn’t care.

The war didn’t stop. 

And he would still be expected to turn up at 0800 sharp. 

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Anakin was already there when the doors opened. Already aching in places he couldn’t name. 

The mission hall buzzed with tension. Multiple holomaps hovered mid air, showing different systems, landmarks and terrains. 

You walked in but dressed differently. Dressed like a commander. 

Across the room, clones murmured strategy amongst themselves. Both part of Anakin and Obi-wan’s army. 

Anakin stood near the front, his arms crossed against his chest and his jaw tight. He wouldn’t look at you directly. He never wanted to look at you. His heart burned every time he met your gaze and he would feel his throat tighten up. He still could still feel your palm lingering against his chest, pushing him away in anger. You didn’t even want to look at him. After the things he had said to you, how could you? It was clear enough he had changed. This wasn’t the same Anakin you grew to love. The Anakin you knew would have come to you at the late of night to apologise, gently taking you into his arms. But you didn’t know that such a thing was not part of Anakin’s agenda anymore. Certainly not after learning that you didn’t care as much as Anakin wanted you to. 

Obi-wan paced between the holomaps, gesturing and talking to Cody. No one looked at you directly. You could feel it. Questions buzzing around the room. 

Why is she here? 

What is she now?

You’re not a Jedi anymore?

Obi-wan and Cody went over usual protocols, debriefing the team on what was to be done.

“The final sweep team for Saleucami will leave within the hour,” Obi-wan said, his voice steady. “L/n, you’ll accompany Commander Rex’s division.” Obi-wan broke you out of your trance. 

You gave a short nod. And beside Obi-wan, Anakin shifted just slightly. The subtle roll of his shoulders. 

Cody glanced at you, and then back down at the map, and then back at you. Like he wanted to say something but he wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate. Raising his hand and enlarging a certain point on the hologram, he inhaled. 

“Commander, L/n. If you have worked there before-” he subtly referenced your ‘past’, "- we’d value your expertise.” 

The words were polite. Measured. Although, you suddenly felt on the spot. There was still some chatter amongst the other soldiers yet it felt like you were the center of attention.

You’ve been there once —with Dev— not exactly on Jedi business. 

“I mean, sure-” You walked up towards the magnified holo of the terrain, adjusting your glove absently. 

You inhaled deeply before beginning, "the west flank has collapsed terrain,” you pointed towards the ridgeline. “It’s narrow and we aren’t able to see much, but it's defensible if we can take it before dusk.” You said calmly.

Planning and strategising like this wasn’t new to you, you had done it a million times with your own troops, the troops here and with Obi-wan and Anakin. 

“The main risk is the drop off here.” You circled a cliffside on the eastern shelf. “It's too deep for us to scale on our own so if we set charges at the middle of all of that..." You hummed, licking your lips. "We can collapse the exit and trap anyone trying to come in from the south.”

“If we push Rex’s squad through the north pass at-”

“-Or,” Anakin snapped. “We don’t risk sending people into a canyon you’ve only seen from the wrong side of the war.”

The words immediately died in your mouth and the room fell silent. You stared at him and you didn’t even register the way Obi-wan’s head turned sharply towards him. Every clone fell silent and even the holomap flickered like it wanted to disappear. 

All you saw was him. Anakin. In all his glory. 

He wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. 

The fury. 

The hurt. 

He couldn’t hide it after feeling another betrayal from you. 

You hadn’t even realised your arm was outstretched pointing to the map. You forced it down slowly, eyeing Anakin very carefully. 

“Excuse me?” You blinked. 

Anakin stepped forward. “That plan is reckless and arrogant.”

“I’ve led strikes like this before.”

“How long ago?”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I know the terrain. I’m not just guessing-”

“You’re not a Jedi anymore.”

Silence. 

Rex looked down awkwardly, feeling the tension in the air. He felt torn between defending you and protecting his general. 

Kix busied himself with the holomap, beginning to adjust the map for no reason but to do something. And Cody pretended as if he wasn’t listening, fiddling with his helmet. 

You audibly scoffed, feeling the tips of your ears turn red. You opened your mouth to respond but Obi-wan stepped in just as fast. 

“Anakin.” He warned firmly. 

“I was given just as much authority by the Council to help lead this mission.” You defended yourself. 

“You’re not cleared yet. You’re here under supervision.” He said, his voice low. 

Your throat closed but you stayed standing.

Obi-wan stepped forward again, wanting to diffuse the situation. “Anakin, that's enough.” Obi-wan had a hard look on his face. 

Red —poor Rex— looked like he wanted to sink into the floor, glancing at you and then immediately away. 

You felt every eye in the room digging at your skin. You stood there frozen. Shocked that Anakin had embarrassed you this badly in front of your own people. 

Obi-wan broke the silence diplomatically. “Commander Rex, if you would please assign a recon detail to L/n and prepare for the shuttle.”

Rex straightened and immediately nodded, “Of course, Sir.” He said, eager to leave the room. The other clones busied themselves and maps began to blink out as they also aimed for the door. 

Anakin didn’t say anything else but stare at you across the room. His chest heaving and a glare on his face. 

And as you turned to leave the room, you still felt him shoot daggers at your back. 

While the room filed out, Obi-wan looked over at Anakin disappointed. This was not at all how he raised his padawan. 

“You crossed a line,” Obi-wan finally said, watching Anakin’s jaw tighten. “And you know it.” 

His lips parted, wanting to defend himself in fury, but Obi-wan didn’t let him.

“You humiliated her in front of the entire command council,” he continued. “You humiliated yourself.”

Anakin pushed his arms closer to himself and he looked away, not wanting to meet his eyes. “She deserved it,” he muttered. 

Obi-wan’s gaze hardened. “No.” He said sharply. “She didn’t.”

Anakin whipped his head around to look at Obi-wan, his eyes blazing. “She heard everything, Master! All that time I tried to talk to her through my comms —like you suggested—” he pointed at Obi-wan, “she heard them! She doesn’t care.”

“How can we let her back in here like nothing happened? She–” he stopped himself. The words snagging in his throat like it would hurt too much to finish. 

Obi-wan took a step closer to Anakin. Master and apprentice. Obi-wan couldn’t miss the way Anakin’s hands shook ever so slightly. He saw the grief under all that rage. And Obi-wan knew, he knew how much it would hurt him to find out something like that. He was the one who suggested it. He told him to keep trying and he did. He also knew when Anakin had given up on it. 

“You’re angry,” he said softly, “I understand.” 

Anakin laughed bitterly, his boots squeaking against the polished floor as he fidgeted. “You don’t understand.”

“She was ours,” Anakin said quietly. “She was our friend.”

Pain flickered across Obi-wan’s features. He too yearned for the old days. 

“I know,” he said. 

Silence. 

“Hurting her won’t undo the pain you’re carrying. It never does.”

Anakin said nothing, just looked down at his shoes as if the answer was plastered there. Obi-wan inhaled deeply, slightly relieved that he had calmed down. 

“You owe her an apology,” Obi-wan gently said.

Anakin didn’t react. He didn’t agree nor disagree. He just stared down, his jaw clenched so tight it looked painful.

Obi-wan watched him for a long moment. Anakin looked like the child he once was after being scolded by his master. He saw the boy he raised. And the man he was becoming. 

With that, Obi-wan left the room and left Anakin to stand alone in the silence. 

a/n: YAAYY new chp guys better days r coming TRUST MEEE anakin wont forever be like this 😭😭😭😭hope yall liked it mwah omg also some credit to @k-n-e that whole dev and ani scene was like a light bulb moment i had to add it in hehe omg one more thing i hope that last part wasn't rushed or anything i just dont wanna bore u guys 😩

This isn’t proof read guys sorry I’m sleepy I will tmr💔

Taglist: @endairachristensen26 @hayden-christensen-verse @ducks118 @seventeen-x @movingalongthekiwi @ssnapsaurus @caramelfondu @dayrin085 @devilslittlehelper @f1wh0recom @green-lxght @bettysgardenswift @heyitsbeeeb @user-3113s-blog @fandomhoe101 @veronaspencil @zudooms @hiphopdancer101universe @starfire21 @devotedlypaleluminary @miksxz @lacherrysouldy @lotushzl @biddycums @wandasblacknails

if u want to be added or removed lmk!

[novas-corner]

OH DEAR GODS PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED MY WRITING???? I hope y’all know I’m freaking out about this, it will get to my head (my apolocheese)

Anyways, a singular person asked for more… so… more it is!!

Again with all of this I know almost NOTHING about the game, I’ve missed out on a lot of lore since I am simply a card collector… and I’m very biased towards characters 😭‼️

Also this was NOT proofread properly (I’m doing this on no sleep at eight in the morning.)

Anyways, part 1 is here!

Also I’m basing their schedules around THIS post here!! (I think it’s official stuff? Idk)

Thank you for listening to me yap… back to being isekaid!!!! (I still do not know how to spell that)

Oh also there’s angst ish in here? Idk man I’m just writing out my thoughts at this point LOL

OH FUCK AN ISEKAI

Alright well sleeping was… a nightmare. All five of them argued until you eventually gave up and went to the couch. Damn boys, they’re gonna make your life trouble and you know it. But you gotta admit… five guys fawning all over you is kinda nice! The attention? Fantastic. They give you massages? UGH, so nice.

Well… you’ll need one of those mentioned massages tomorrow, you know damn well your back is going to be killing you in the morning.

You’re surprised to see Sylus walk into the living room, sitting next to you.

“You shouldn’t sleep out here sweetie, it’s not good for your body… what if I took you back to the N109 zone with me? You could sleep in a nice comfortable bed there and there would be much more space”

You groan, sitting up

“The only way I will do that is if you bring the other four with us. You need to remember that we are all not technically in our own universes since this ISNT the main storyline of the game. I don’t want them to be stranded here, I’d feel bad about that”

He sighs, but smiles down at you, pulling your head into his lap.

“Always thinking of others before yourself hm sweetie? Be a bit selfish sometimes okay?”

You huff, but relax into his embrace nonetheless.

“Yeah… I’ll try. Why are you up anyways? Couldn’t sleep?”

He’s running his fingers through your hair (or just rubbing your bald head, idk man) and chuckles down at you.

“Oh come on, I thought you knew all about us”

He’s teasing you… cocky mf-

“The N109 zone doesn’t have a day or night technically, so my schedule is a bit off from everyone else”

Oooooooh… riiiight… you had forgotten about that, honestly there’s probably so much you’ve forgotten. You never did read through the events or stories, just let them play in the background to get more pulls for banners… maybe you should get back into the story after all this blows over… or then again… maybe you won’t have to due to being with them all the time now.

“Right… I forgot about that… well I’m… tired. So I’m going to sleep- lemme move-“

You’re trying to shuffle off his lap to not disturb him, but he just rests a hand on the small of your back and tells you to ‘not worry’ and that he can ‘handle you sleeping for a bit’

…that’s sweet…

You’re relaxing into him almost immediately and drifting off, letting your slumber take over you.

What you don’t know however, is that once sylus is sure you’re asleep, he’s analyzing you, trying to see if this was all some ploy to not be caught for cheating… but it’s really a different person. What was once a person he knew was now just someone who knew him. It was a strange feeling, they had the face of the one he loved, they almost sounded like them too— they just spoke differently. It felt so right and yet so wrong to have you there… maybe he should have Zayne give you a physical checkup tomorrow, make sure you’re healthy and all.

Sylus tries to not care for you, after all… you’re not HIS, not the person he knew. But you acted the same in so many ways… hopefully this can all be fixed. For now though, he sits running his fingers through your hair as he reads a book.

~Timeskip~

It’s morning now and you groggily wake up to the smell of bacon. You’re sitting up, rubbing your sleep ridden eyes as a cheerful voice calls out from the kitchen.

“Oh! Sorry pips, did I wake you up?”

You’re standing now, walking over to Caleb with a yawn.

“Nono… I just woke up… whatcha making?”

He’s all smiles, you’re honestly not sure how he has so much energy at six in the morning but whatever.

“Just some bacon and eggs! Want some?”

He says with a grin, pointing to the plate of bacon and eggs. You pause, eyeing the plate.

“Were the eggs made first? I’m allergic and can’t really risk cross contamination… don’t wanna die today, y’know?” (I’m reminding y’all that this is ME written as if it’s YOU. We ain’t having eggs together homies 🫵🥲)

“Oh?? Uh… I think so? Maybe you shouldn’t eat them to be safe… I’ll make you something else!”

He’s saying while already looking for something else to make… at least they know where everything in this apartment is located, I’ve got no clue.

You’re trying to find bread and hear him mumbling something about how his version of you isn’t allergic to anything… guess that’s a difference.

He sees you rifling through literally every drawer and pats you on the head.

“You know you can ask for things… right?”

“Well- maybe I just wanted to see if I could do it myself, this is technically my apartment after all… but uh… where’s the bread?”

He’s laughing at you, pointing to the bread literally in the counter, you blind blind mf. Your shoulders almost slump in defeat as you pop some toast into the toaster and open the fridge. Huh… fully stocked… that’s nice, where’s the butter though…

As if reading your mind, Caleb walks behind you and grabs the butter for you.

“Here, it’s buried in there, you wouldn’t have found it alone”

You’re just kinda looking up at him, he’d got you cages in between him and the door- HE DID THE HOT THING WHERE THEY GRAB SOMETHING FOR YOU GANG. Ugh you forget that this is a game about flirting and they’re gonna be doing that.

“Oh… right, thank you”

You’re quickly scurrying away from him— and as everyone does, you get spooked by the damn toaster. That mf laughs at you AGAIN. Jerk…

Anyways you’re buttering your toast and watching as he plates his food, having made extra for the others… that’s sweet of him.

“I usually ask my version of you to work out in the mornings… so… would you want to join me for a morning workout after breakfast?”

You look up from your toast, a mouthful and crumbs on your face, he just smiles at you as you swallow your food and wipe your face.

“Mm- sure? Im not the strongest though so expect me to not keep up.”

Which gets you thinking… how in the hell are you going to do the job of the MC??? There’s no way you could deal with wanderers… would you being here jeopardize the job the MC has? Oh gods I mean you can technically rely on the guys for money but what if they get sick of you not being their MC. Not only that, is time passing back home? Will people realize you’re gone? Are you going to end up like an unsolved crime case?

“Hey… are you okay?”

His voice snaps you out of the despair trace you were in, you look up at him with wide eyes and see him looking at you concerned.

“Oh… yeah sorry I was just thinking… I’ll join you for the workout, it’ll probably take my mind off things.”

You’re trying to keep smiling, you’ve been obsessed with these men for months and they’re literally all here, you should just enjoy this in case it’s a dream, y’know?

He’d still visibly concerned but decides to drop it, finishing his food and grabbing yours and his empty plates, putting them in the sink to wash later.

“Well let’s go workout then shall we? You can sit on my back while I do pushups? Alright pips?”

OH BOY!!! You’re standing with a smile, nodding along and following him along to the door, pausing and looking down at your clothes.

“Ooooh wait I need to change my clothes first”

You begin to wander back to what you found out is your room, walking in to see Zayne buttoning up his shirt, and Rafayel and Xavier cuddled up in bed… well more like Xavier cuddling up to Rafayel but whatever they look kinda cute, y’know?

You smile at Zayne, he just nods to you, finishing putting his shirt on.

“There’s breakfast there, Caleb made eggs and Bacon, plus bread for toast”

You’re saying as you walk over to the closet, rifling through the clothes there. You know that MC has got to have something for a workout other than this damn hunters uniform… surely right?

Oh thank the gods they do. (I actually could not find one but I’m gonna guess MC has a workout outfit)

“Are you working out? Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

You turn to see Zayne, who is now hovering behind you.

“Oh! Yeah Caleb invited me to workout with him, I guess him and the me you know worked out in the mornings”

He just nods.

“Alright, enjoy that then, I’ll be back later, I’m going to try and stay with you overnight and whatnot to see if I can help figure out what’s going on, the rest of the men have also agreed they want to be around as well.”

You just nod, biting at your lip slightly. It’s sweet that they care about you enough, but you’re sure they’re only caring because they want their old lives back. You can’t really blame them though since you just want your life back too. Again, it’s nice to be here with men you’ve simped over… but you have friends, parents… ugh be positive damnit, we can’t be depressed all the time.

“Right okay…“

You’re trailing off, not really knowing how to proceed.

“The white haired man— Sylus I believe? He mentioned that I should give you a checkup at some point today. Would you rather visit the hospital during my lunch break or wait I til I get back?”

You raise an eyebrow at his words. Oh boy these mfs are in for a TREAT, they’ll never expect the amount of things wrong with me. Huh that begs the question, will my body function differently than theirs? I mean obviously I don’t have the protocore heart and whatever else… but is it different since they’re game characters?

OH MF YOU DIDNT ANSWER-

“Probably just when you get back, I’m not really sure how to get to the hospital after all.”

He just nods, patting you on the head and walking out.

“Sounds good, I’ll expect you to be ready when I get home then. Have a good day.”

HE’S SO STOIC???? I don’t know how to feel bout that but whATEVER YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING OUT.

You gather your clothes and move over to the bathroom, as you’re getting dressed you can hear Rafayel waking up and causing a ruckus over being cuddled by Xavier. God damn he’s loud…

You’re changed now and walk back to the living room, where Caleb is sat on the couch waiting for you.

“Ah! Finally pips! Felt like I was gonna have to search for you in case you had gotten lost!”

He’s honestly adjusted really well to the fact that I’m not the me he knows. I wonder if it’s a facade, I know damn well he cares a great deal for his version of me. STOP THINKING SO NEGATIVELY. DAMN.

Anyways you’re smiling slightly at his words, listening to him yap about what he’s planning to do for his workout, it’s just going in one ear and right out the other if I’m being real.

You leave the apartment and go to the gym that I guess the apartment has? (I’m making things up as I go at this point, things will just appear as I need them too)

He’s doing weights and stuff, you’re struggling to get through his tough workout (I’m crippled sorry gang, if I gotta struggle so do you 💔)

He notices this of course and slows his pace down, eventually stopping and patting you on the shoulder.

“Hey… you don’t need to do this y’know?”

You just sigh and look up at him defeated.

“Does your version of me do this every day? That bitch is ATHLETIC.”

He laughs at you and offers to just help him with his workout I stead, which you joyfully agree to, watching Caleb workout? YES PLEASE.

So now here you are, sat on his back and counting his pushups for him. Huh, suddenly the angst from earlier is gone as you watch his ARMS??? UGHHHH 🤩

He eventually finished that up though (UNFORTUNATELY) and just looks up at you… still on his back, making it just a lil bit hard to get up.

“Pips… you gotta move y’know?- I will just roll you over, you should know this.”

Oh we gotta know what that means.

“Hm? The ground is talking, how strange…”

You’re looking up at the ceiling with an almost expectant grin on your face, which he does not fail to realize. Well you asked for it.

Suddenly he has managed to roll you off him and have you underneath him. Don’t ask the logistics of it, just go with it.

You’re looking up at him with wide eyes, Christ it was fast— how in the hell did he do that???

He just chuckles and gets off of you, offering a hand out for you to take, which you do and he pulls you up. "l have to say, you don't act all that different, it's easy to forget you're not the same person I've known." OUCH????? OK ANGST IS BACK IG??? He's walking you back up to your apartment, the hand he used to help you up now wrapped around your shoulder "Oh?.. is that... a bad thing?" "I suppose it isn't! It makes you fun to be around!" "Ah okay..." You trail off, you know what you want to ask but... "What happens if you can't get... the other me back?" The words tumble out of your mouth before you can think to stop them, he almost freezes in his tracks but keeps walking, smile faltering slightly. "I'm... not sure..." "Would you stick around knowing I'm not the person you knew? Or are you just here to get them back?"

He doesn't know how to answer you, because of course he wants his version of you back... but would he just.. leave? He doesn't even know himself. "For now lets not worry about that, okay pips? I'm here now and that's all that really matters, we'll figure everything out eventually" You just nod, looking down and mumbling a small apology... well that's... sad. So anyways you finally make it back to the apartment, and head to your room to grab a basic outfit.

Xavier is STILL asleep- does this mf have narcolepsy??? Whatever, you grab your outfit and turn to go to the bathroom, you need a shower to think again, plus you smell like sweat.

The door to the bathroom is closed when you get there, you knock only to hear Rafayel telling you to come in. You walk in and OH MY STARS-

“OH- sorry didn’t realize you would be IN the bath- I can come back later I’m so sorry-“

He cuts you off with a wave of his hand.

“No no it’s okay, did you need something?”

He’s asking with a slight tilt to his head. Dear gods man he is sculpted like a god, probably because he literally is one- STOP STARING.

You manage to snap yourself out of it, face absolutely red and looking down at the clothes in your hands.

“Sorry I was just trying to shower and get dressed- I can do so later-“

He’s sitting up in the bathtub, motioning for you to come closer.

“You can come bathe with me if you’d like? I don’t mind sharing.”

SIR?????? You are red as a lobster and I fear he is reveling in this fact— HOW IS HE SO CALM ABOUT THIS????

“No- that’s fine I’ll just… see myself out… thanks for the offer though”

You manage to mumble out, looking anywhere but at him and finally turning yer butt around to walk out. You hear him chuckle behind you and call out to you as you shut the door, playful as ever.

“Your loss Mx bodyguard!!”

TEASING MF. Ok anyways we need to find somewhere else to change it seems. So you opt to just shut yourself in the little closet and get changed. Xavier is still asleep in bed, which is kinda cute, he’s out like a ROCK. Honestly and earthquake could pass through and not much would happen I fear.

You wander around the place, Caleb, Zayne and Sylus are all out somewhere, Rafayel is in the bath and Xavier is asleep. There’s… not much to do.

You’re tired though and you slept on the couch, so you find yourself walking over to your room and climbing into bed opposite to Xavier.

You pass right out.

—————————————

Gang I’ll be honest, you could FEEL it falling apart at the end😭‼️

In my defense, it’s almost eight in the morning and I have not slept.

I wrote myself into a bit of a corner too since there’s like… nothing going on ‼️‼️‼️

I also do not know how to write seggsy time so I had to QUICKLY 180 from that.

Anyways I have ideas for another part, if people don’t burn me at the stake for being a crap writer I might add another part to this disaster LMAO

Okok yap session is over, thank you for reading this !! 🤩

Tag list ?!?! (Ask to be added 🤩)

@lunia-likes-pomegranet

[billloveshushu]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 02━ 𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

✦∘˚━ ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔 𝔹𝕒𝕥𝕗𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 𝕩 𝔹𝕒𝕓𝕪𝕆ℂ.

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✦( "" ) Thoughts (━) Dialogue✦∘•

English is not my original language, the translation was fone by Google Translate, so sorry for spelling mistakes.

Warning🚨: There will Be another OC in the story.

"I finally have a name!!"

Suyana Martha Wayne.

When she saw Bruce signing his name completing his civil registration with his mother's name, Suyana was very surprised and felt a strange feeling, she felt happy realizing that Bruce, now officially her adoptive father, liked her to the point of putting her deceased mother's name as his surname.

But she realized, it was really happening, she was now the adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne, from Batman the Dark Knight, now she was feeling such a big existential crisis, and she wasn't even a year old!

Also, when she heard Alfred or Bruce say the name Suyana, she felt a good feeling, it was as if it already belonged to her, it was nostalgic. Could this have also been her name in her past life? That would explain this feeling.

Anyway, Suyana gave up on remembering her past life. That night traumatized her in a way she would never forget. The space filled with blood and those overwhelming emotions were like a threatening warning from her own subconscious showing that if she remembered, there would be no turning back. It seems that her past life was not happy at all. Of course, curiosity arose, but she put all that aside.

“As the saying goes, Happy is he who does not know what he is, and unhappy is he who knows what he is … why do I know that? Well, it doesn’t matter.”

Sometimes she forgot that she was just a baby, many times she would find herself playing with her teddy bears or even biting her own foot and would wonder "What the hell am I doing?!"

It was possible to see that he was very tired, even when Alfred appeared to wake him up, he got up without complaining and just adjusted his neck, Suyana knew that Bruce used meditation to control fatigue, muscle pain and even a broken rib just to keep up appearances, but seeing it in person is scary and impressive at the same time.

Bruce asked Alfred to prepare the milk while he got the baby ready. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with Suyana today because last night, at the exact moment Batman arrived at the cave, the Justice League called him to say they had a mission and that they needed him. It was unknown how long this mission would last. Bruce read in an article that young babies, if they don't see their father figure much, end up forgetting about them.

He doesn't want that to happen so he will do everything he can to make this mission go faster, for now he will enjoy this moment with his daughter. Bruce came down the stairs with Suyane in his arms already dressed in a fuzzy jumpsuit, Alfred handed her the bottle and Bruce fed the baby, he watched her cheeks sway as she drank from the bottle like a squirrel.

He couldn't help but kiss her forehead, this was such a normal morning, it wasn't boring, it was more like a calming agent, she was like a calming agent after a chaotic day, no, a chaotic night, his muscles relaxed, leaning his back on the counter and he just looked at her, enjoying the silence of the morning.

Until Alfred enters the kitchen━ Sir, little miss's room is ready.

"What!? Seriously?"

Suyana swung her little feet excitedly, she saw Bruce ask a few more things about the room but decided to ignore it, taking so long to just renovate a baby's room was probably because of this security system, to save her mental health she decided not to know any more about it and just ignore it.

"Ridiculous paranoia, seriously"

Bruce had already noticed that Suyana had already finished her milk and placed the bottle on the counter right after he helped her burp.━They finished faster than I expected, sir. ━Alfred said.

Bruce wiped Suzana's mouth━ But of course, they are competent Alfred, I guarantee that in addition to being safe, the room is beautiful.

"I wonder how it turned out" Suyana wondered, she didn't know what the room looked like even though it was close to Bruce's room, Alfred always stayed away because of the dust, after the dust was gone it was time to decorate the room, Bruce wasn't a man of style and used what was necessary, so he didn't even know where to start.

Normally it was Alfred who did this, but he is already an elderly gentleman, so he can only take care of Suyana because she is quiet and well-behaved, which is worrying, but Dr. Leslie said that it was normal for some babies to behave like this, especially like Suyana.

So Bruce hired an interior designer, a woman who was quite nice, and when she arrived she just told him that she was going to transform the room to be worthy of a princess.

And she actually did it.

Suyana looked at the newly renovated room with wide eyes, the walls were a pastel pink color with flower designs, the floor was padded with a large rug and the furniture around was hand-customized with a beige color and an antique style, and the crib now sat near the window with a large veil made of satin around it.

It really looked like a little princess lived there, Bruce smiled with satisfaction, it was perfect for his little princess.

The princess in question was still perplexed but could not deny that the room was beautiful ━ Isn't it wonderful?━ said the girl smiling at Bruce who immediately activated his Wayne Playboy personality ━ Wonderful, just like you ━ then he kissed her hand leaving the girl blushing while she let out a few laughs, she tried to start more conversation with Bruce Wayne but he interrupted her.

— I would like to enjoy this moment with my daughter, so thank you very much for your service ━ Bruce said, shaking her hand and asked Alfred to take her to the front door.

━ Oh, of course, but if you want, you can call me later ━ She said as she was almost pushed by Alfred to the exit of the room.

Suyana looked at Bruce in amazement. He seemed like a completely different person, outgoing, lively and even seductive. But the moment the girl walked out the door, Bruce returned to normal, the normal that Suyana at least knew. “He could win an Oscar with that.”

Bruce turned his attention to Suyana calmly as if he hadn't changed personality a minute ago ━So Susu, did you like your new room?━ And he kissed her cheek making her let out a sweet baby laugh.

Suyana sometimes felt embarrassed by Bruce's display of affection, it's not every day that she is kissed by Batman himself, and that affectionate nickname 'Susu' came about after a fateful day when Suyana tried to say her name, it was the same day that Bruce signed his name on the documents, but she could only say ━ Su..su. Ha..su ah Susu!.

Bruce found this demonstration so cute that he started calling her Susu, even Alfred called her that sometimes, it's a cute nickname but she felt a little embarrassed remembering it, Suyana remembers that Batman was portrayed as a very cold person and that he didn't show much affection, in fact the bat family in general weren't used to showing affection, Suyana never really understood these dynamics, but seeing him show this affection for her even if sometimes silently still leaves her shocked.

Soon Alfred returned ━ Mr. Bruce, the league called again asking for your presence━ Bruce sighed and nodded indicating that he understood, he handed Suyana to Alfred and stroked her small forehead looking lovingly at her but became serious again and said ━ If I take too long Alfred, show her my photo once a day and make sure she won't forget me.

Alfred raised his eyebrow.━Mr. Bruce, I think you are worried too much.

— Preparation is never enough, you should know that by now Alfred ━ then he looked at Suyana — I'll be back soon.

Then he turned and left the room while Alfred and Suyana looked at him, it didn't even seem like he was going to leave for a Justice League mission, leaving the room normally as if he was going to work, well in some way it was work, Susu could only hope that he would be okay.

"Batman is acting strange" was what Nightwing thought as he looked at Gotham City from atop a building, still dark and melancholic exactly as he remembered, he came here personally to ask Bruce what was going on.

He tried first with Barbara, but even though he insisted, she didn't say anything, the other members also didn't care much when Dick talked about it, he didn't blame them, saying that Batman was acting strange was just another ordinary day, but Nightwing lived long enough with Batman to know a lot about his obsession with Gotham, if he could he would spend the whole night protecting the city, risking himself in every way almost like suicide.

But suddenly he changed, Batman started to be more careful and even avoided getting hurt, and that's not the most shocking part, he started to finish his patrols earlier, his methods of dealing with thieves started to be more brusque, and with villains he started to be more violent, as if he was angry with them for making him late.

At first Nightwing was even happy with this change, a lot of the time he worried about Bruce and his health, and he was irritated by the way Bruce didn't care about it, so he was relieved.

But that was until the Riddler's attack on Gotham.

This made Nightwing finally come here, it wasn't disclosed in the media but Batman literally beat the Riddler, in a way that hit all the fatal points and that would take a while for him to fully recover, so it was obvious, Batman wanted the Riddler to stay out of the plan so as not to get in his way.

Nightwing quickly thought of some plausible reason for Batman to act that way. Could it be that he wanted to focus on a more important mission? That he couldn't be distracted for even a second? A mission that required all of his attention. Would it be the Court of Owls? Or the Joker? It wouldn't be possible, since he's in Arkham Asylum. Would it be to save the world again with the Justice League?

Nightwing didn't know but he wouldn't stay out of it.

He prepared to jump but his body stopped, Nightwing looked down and realized how tall the building was, his vision began to distort and his breathing began to become labored, he only managed to calm down after moving away from the edge of the building.

Nightwing looked down at his trembling feathers, cursed loudly, and pushed his hair back with a sigh. It looked like he was going to have to use the stairs. After several steps down, someone opened the back door of the building, already dressed in his civilian clothes and adjusting his coat. Now without his mask, it was Dick Grayson.

Dick first thought about paying a visit to the mansion instead of going straight to the cave, it had been a while since he had been there, very busy with his duties with the Titans, protecting Bludhaven and he still had his job as a police officer who took a few days off to go to Gotham, and he still has his girlfriend... Dick came out of his thoughts then started his motorcycle and headed towards the mansion.

Driving at high speed, Dick saw the Leon lights of the city center slowly disappearing and giving way to the darkness where he was going. From afar he saw the mansion's gate already opening with automatic technology. Alfred certainly already knew he was coming.

He saw the old butler already standing in front of the mansion's door, Dick got off the motorcycle and went to greet Alfred with a handshake and one of his classic bear hugs ━ Alfred! It's been a while! Is everything okay?

━ Master Dick, I am surprised by your visit━ said Alfred, pulling out of the hug and looking at Dick with a raised eyebrow, blocking the main entrance to the mansion ━ I dare ask, what is your objective, Master Dick.

He sighs with a tired smile.━ Nothing escapes you, does it, Alfred? Well, I came after Bruce.”

Alfred immediately understood what he was saying, knowing that the first Robin must have already noticed Batman's strange changes, so Alfred left the entrance asking Dick to follow him into the mansion.

Right at the entrance, Dick noticed something different, the rooms in the mansion were more reinforced and protected than normal, seeing some sockets using protection, and corners of cabinets or tables with rubberized edges, before he went any deeper, Alfred spoke.

━ I'm sorry to tell you, Master Dick, but Mr. Bruce is not in the mansion at the moment.━ Dick looked at him confused and then asked ━ Where is he then?

━ With the Justice League, they called him for a mission, I can't say when he'll be back.━ Dick regretted Bruce's absence, looked around the room and noticed toys and stuffed animals scattered across the carpet, then a pop sounded in his head.

He pointed to a rattle toy with a trembling hand. ━ Alfred, what is that? ━ The butler sighed when he realized he could no longer distract Dick. ━ I thought the ideal moment would be with Mr. Bruce present, but it seems that is no longer possible.

━ Please Master Dick, come with me and I will explain everything ━ Alfred walked down the hall with Dick following behind him, while he tried not to believe his hypothesis, it was not possible that Bruce had adopted another child, right? He knows that Bruce has a serious problem in leaving his "nest" empty.

But it hasn't even been a month since Damián fought with Bruce and left home and he's already adopted someone else?! Dick thought he had already taken care of this but apparently not. Not that he didn't like being the older brother, but for everyone the family was already complete, everyone was already used to each other and suddenly adding a new member!?

He rubbed his eyebrow and whispered uneasily━ I just hope it's not that much of a problem━ Alfred, who could hear, just sighed, knowing that it would be complicated to deal with Dick like that.

Alfred stopped at a door and opened it, signaling for Dick to enter first. He looked at the room in shock, seeing that there was no child but a crib wrapped in a thin fabric. He pushed the fabric aside with his hand and stared in a daze at the little baby who was sleeping peacefully.

He turned sharply to Alfred ━ A baby!?

Alfred quickly told him to speak more quietly,━Master Dick! I understand your fear, but there's no point in shouting and waking the child.

Dick sighed even more with his hands on his face━ I know, I'm sorry... ━ and looked at the baby again, she was a cute baby, with plump, rosy cheeks and reddish hair, he realized now that her appearance is quite peculiar.

But now he couldn't focus on her cuteness, all he could think about was the reaction of the other family members. Would it be a problem if she was a new child, but a baby!? ━ How many people know about her? ━ Dick asked Alfred━ Only four people, Mr. Bruce, Barbara, me and you.

Dick took a deep breath and looked around the room━ We were hoping to announce it at family dinner but something unexpected happened━ Alfred said looking at Dick.

━ OK ok, I'm sorry for showing up by surprise... ━ He put his hands on his face and sighed, Dick calmer looked carefully at the room, it was beautiful and cute, with the flower details and pastel colors, it was even out of place from the rest of the mansion that had a colder and more rustic appearance, looking like a castle from ancient times.

They were silent for a minute until Dick spoke━ Damián won't be happy about this... And Jason? I don't even want to think about his reaction━ Dick could only think about that now, he didn't want to admit it but he came here thinking about finding an adventure or a mission to distract himself from his own problems but now he found even more problems.

His sudden fear of heights gets in the way of his daily patrols and missions, and many times the bandits take advantage of this to escape, and this happened more than once, Dick has never felt so incompetent in his life.

He still had his girlfriend Shawn Tsang, a beautiful, cool and intelligent girl and Dick is an idiot who doesn't know how to value her, because of his busy schedule he can't give her the attention she deserves and she gets very uncomfortable with it, sometimes she even thinks that Dick was cheating on her. Now "running away" like this, it really seems like he cheated on her.

Alfred, seeing Dick sink even deeper into his thoughts, decided to intervene by placing his hand on his shoulder, attracting his attention━ Master Dick, calm down, I know it seems like an irresponsible decision but it's not.

━Master Bruce thought a lot about it, so much so that only after a month he decided to adopt her━ Alfred said calming the situation, Dick turned and nodded that he understood, even with his problems he shouldn't blame an innocent baby for this━ You're right Alfred, I'm sorry for... acting like this.

The butler smiled satisfied with the answer, he suggested leaving the room so as not to wake the baby and talk better, before leaving Dick decided to look again at his new "little sister" but was surprised ━ Hmm, Alfred... I think she's already awake ━ He said pointing to the crib where the baby was staring at him, as if he had found a treasure, Her little eyes shone as she looked at him, it kind of scared him, it seemed like she knew who he was, but she kind of really knew.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!! Is that Dick Grayson!!?? Nightwing!!??"

The little baby was waving her arms towards Dick, who didn't know what to do with her excitement, and he is considered the most lively and sociable of the family. Alfred came to the rescue, taking the little one in his arms.━It seems she's already woken up...━ He said, caressing her little forehead. Even though he wasn't smiling, you could see the affection in his eyes.

Dick just looked surprised, because it was one of the few times he saw Alfred being affectionate and delicate with someone, and also with the butler in front of her, the baby tried to look at him again. Seeing how the baby was distressed trying to look at the stranger, Alfred turned to introduce them formally.

━Master Dick, I present to you little Miss Suyana━ He showed the baby, pulling away the cloth and making the light illuminate her little face, looking now with the light reflecting her red hair looking like fire and her light brown eyes, Dick thought━ She's so cute...━ Right, he was weak with children.

Alfred offered to hold Suzanne but because of his nervousness Dick was afraid of dropping her so he refused, he just got closer to her face and watched as the baby looked at him without even blinking, which was a little strange. But who could blame her? One of DC's most beloved characters was in front of her, Suzanne had to act like a strange fan, maybe that's one of the reasons why Bruce was so distant in the beginning, every time he passed by Suzanne would stare at him, like she's doing now.

"Wow! He's so handsome, Bruce is also that handsome! Is Dick really adopted? It seems like beauty is genetic!"

━Is she that quiet?━ Dick asked, worried about her silence. Alfred nodded. ━It seems that Susu is like that with new people.

━Susu? Is that her nickname? How cute! ━ Alfred apologized, embarrassed by his carelessness, Dick smiled impressed, usually Alfred ensured his education to the extreme, always calling them master, sir, boss and miss, for him to hesitate and call them by their nickname he must be quite used to her.

━And I thought I was the only one who created nicknames in this family━Dick tried to lift his face but Suyana stopped him by placing her little hand on his nose, wanting to look even more at his face, his eyes widened but then he laughed and held the little hand and was impressed by how soft it was, so he decided━I'll stay here for a few days, to get to know Susu better and also help with the patrols while B is away, who stayed to take care of Gotham?

━ Miss Kate, but any help is welcome ━ Alfred said, noticing that Dick was relieved to know he had some to do here. The butler sighed seeing the resemblance between father and son.

If she spent a week with Dick at the mansion, he is exactly as Suyana imagined, a ball of joy, always smiling and making lame jokes, helping Alfred whenever he could and taking part in the patrols at night, and with her he played the role of older brother.

But to Suyana, it seemed so superficial.

Maybe it wasn't with others, but with her it was. Every time they were in the same room, you could see that he felt uncomfortable around her, and he hid it with laughter and jokes and soon found a reason to leave.

━ Sorry Alfred, I have to go━ Dick said, adjusting his coat━ But already sir? You won't be staying for lunch?━ Dick made a sad face━ Sorry, it's urgent.

Alfred sighed but agreed that he understood ━ But wasn't it saying goodbye to the little one too? ━ Dick looked apprehensively at Suyana who was lying on the couch looking at him.

━ Sorry, it's urgent━ He looked away and closed the door, Suyana lowered her head a little sadly, now he was avoiding her, at least in the beginning Dick talked to her, maybe it was also her fault. Dick tried to join in with common baby games, but Suyana simply didn't react and just looked at him, it was even comical to see Dick making a thousand faces and trying to make the baby laugh, in the end he was a little embarrassed and didn't know how to interact with Suyana.

Suyana scolded herself for not acting like a normal baby at that moment, but it can't be just that, Dick must be dealing with a lot of things and she is a problem he doesn't want to deal with right now.

In some way this could be a preview of what the other members of the family will be like, the baby was reassured thinking that Bruce and Alfred's affection was enough, but a part of her was still saddened thinking about the possibility that Dick and the others wouldn't like her.

"In the life they lead, perhaps I am a misfortune"

For the first time Susu wanted Bruce to be there.

At the North Pole at that exact moment, in a cave camouflaged by the blizzard, a hand covered in a black glove pressed a remote control signaling that he was at the vigil point, Batman sighed tiredly and felt the cold even with his suit having heating technology.

He looked at the mountain with some indignation. The Justice League had been investigating Lex Luthor because he had been acting suspicious lately, until we found out that he had made an alliance with one of Wonder Woman's villains, so it was obvious what they planned to do, combine magic with LexCorp's technology.

That's why Batman is now investigating a "mountain", which is actually a secret laboratory, and the current job is to find out what they are planning, silently and without attracting attention, it would be very easy for Batman if it weren't for... ━ That's it, mate!

By Green Arrow, Batman sighed tiredly and turned to greet his companion on this mission━ Have you done your part?

━ Straight to the point, isn't it? But yes, I managed to shoot the target, now we just need to wait for the signal━ Oliver sat on the cold floor tiredly while Batman checked his batcave communicator once again and saw that there were no messages because of the bad signal, he hit the wall angrily.

It had been a week since Batman had been on this mission trying to find out what Luthor was planning and putting up with Green Arrow's irritating presence. During these days, he was always worrying or thinking about Suyana, which was new to him. This feeling of worry never occurred with his other children, as he calmed down thinking that they could manage on their own.

But Suyana is different.

At first her concern was calmed by Alfred's daily updates, reporting how she was, but when she arrived at the North Pole, to be more exact near this "mountain", the signal suddenly dropped, there are few things that make the signal of your technologies drop, something was happening and it is strong enough to block all local communications

Batman looked at the last message sent by Alfred which had a picture of Suyana sleeping with a stuffed animal and this gave him a small, unnoticed smile. Deep in the cave, Green Arrow looked curiously at Batman's actions. Somehow he felt a similarity in these behaviors, because he had also gone through this phase with his son.

━ What are you looking at there?━ Batman quickly hid the communicator and returned to his cold countenance━ Nothing of interest to you━ Green Arrow raised his arms in surrender━ Hey, calm down! I was just curious.

Batman raised his eyebrow in question━ What do you want to know?━ Oliver rolled his eyes at his old friend's distrust━ I just noticed that you've been acting strange on this whole mission, more rushed and irritated.

━ Are you saying I'm getting in the way of the mission? Green Arrow.

━ What!? No B! I'm just expressing my concern... as an old friend ━ After he said that, Bruce realized that Oliver wanted to talk as old friends rather than coworkers, he sighed knowing that he would probably regret it in the future ━ It's okay, I'm just in my head somewhere else.

━I know, look how you're not easy to open up to, let's do it like this, I'll tell you my concern at the moment and then you tell me yours, huh? ━ He smiled sideways, as if he had been very intelligent ━So it would be more of an exchange of information than a conversation, don't you think? ━ Before Batman could refuse this idiocy, Green Arrow spoke.

━ I'm worried about my wife taking care of our son alone. ━ Batman stopped immediately and looked at Oliver in surprise, who was smiling, knowing what he was thinking. Bruce knew that Oliver and Dinah had been married for a long time, he even attended the wedding, but he didn't know they had a son. ━ How did you two have a son? If I don't even find out... That year Black Canary spent recovering.

Years ago, Black Canary was seriously injured in a Justice League battle, so she spent a year away recovering with Oliver, who refused to leave her side. It was probably around this time that Dinah got pregnant. ━Yes, it was that year that she found out she was pregnant. At that time, the Justice League wasn't as united as it is today, so we planned to pretend she was injured, and that helped the pregnancy go unnoticed.

Green Arrow took a small photo that Batman couldn't see━ After that, everything changed... that child became our lives Batman━ He caressed the photo with a smile, then Batman asked━ Why did you tell me now? If you hid this until today, then you want this child to grow up away from the life of heroes, away from danger.

━ Because I noticed that you're like that too ━ Green Arrow pointed his finger at him mockingly ━ Anxious, irritated, worried and even checking your communicator all the time or just... simply upset that you're not there ━ Batman remained silent until he simply sat down next to him with a frown on his face.

The two remained silent until the bat spoke ━ She's still just a baby, small and fragile, how can I not worry?━ Oliver laughed again but without mockery━ You won't, you'll always be worried.

Oliver turned his head and asked ━ So you adopted another child?━ Bruce nodded ━ But I met her not in a good way.━ He still remembers, the intense fire and the blood on the floor, but he mainly regrets how he acted around Suyana in the beginning━ And are you going to tell how it was?━ Oliver asked but Batman remained silent ━ OK ok, I understand.

━ You know, I want my boy to grow up as a normal child, happy and without any worries, look how happy he was to get a dog ━ Green Arrow finally showed the photo he was carrying, revealing a boy of approximately four years old, smiling with the Siberian husky puppy in his arms, he had blond hair and green eyes just like Oliver's ━ Isn't he very cute? ━ Oliver asked proudly.

He doesn't know if it was out of pride or mere competition, Bruce secretly showed Suyana's photo in the statement and simply said: ━ She's cuter ━ Oliver was so shocked by Batman's childish demonstration that he started laughing a lot ━ Hahahahaha! Ha... but I disagree, mine is cuter, although yours is too.

Batman growled in anger and threw a Batarang at Green Arrow who dodged it, soon preparing himself with the fighting stance and catching one of his arrows ━ Wow!, are you seriously going to fight me just because you don't admit that your daughter is cuter?!━ Batman responded by catching another Batarang with a more irritated face than usual━ If you want to see this situation that way, then yes.

Green Arrow became even more irritated by Batman's shameless attitude and launched an arrow in his direction which he managed to dodge━ The loser will admit that the winner's son is cuter, closed? ━ Batman didn't respond but he moved forward and at the same time Oliver did too.

Just as the two idiots were about to fight over their disagreement over their children's cuteness, suddenly the ground shook and a blinding light appeared behind the two, the mountain had exploded ━ What!!??━ the two looked in shock at the mountain that was previously covered in snow, was now full of flames, the League's communicator started working again and Wonder Woman's urgent voice came out ━ Batman! Green arrow! An accident occurred and the machine exploded! Luthor is missing and the other is dead.

━ How did this happen!?━ Green Arrow shouted, and Wonder Woman replied ━ We don't know!! The explosion happened out of nowhere!

Batman analyzed the mountain and said ━ Hun, Wonder Woman, focus on saving as many people as possible from the facility. I'll summon Superman immediately to help, in the meantime, let's capture Luthor. ━ Batman hung up the call with Diana's statement, then with just a nod the two immediately started running towards the smoke.

Continued...

OH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!😫 I know it took me a long time to release the new chapter, and I apologize for that, most of the time was spent on this ending, if you didn't notice the new OC is Green Arrow's son with Black Canary. I don't know if they have children in the current comics but I haven't found any so far so if they do... apologies, but I did this because I wanted to highlight Bruce and Olive's friendship and them sharing something in common as old friends, I don't see that much lately in the comics. And I'll try to do the next chapter faster, I even bought a notebook just to write in at school!! The next one will be Suyana conquering her brother! I swear.（；´д｀）ゞ

Taglist: @proper-fox @kore-of-the-underworld @type-ink @mallowryblog @cruzerforce4256 @cxcilla @fantasyhopperhea @psysgr @hotdinoankles @bearlittlesworld @thatpersonnamedrook @bookwarm0-0 @nervousalpacalady @mircall4a @thegothamsiren @vxsire @butratherbutrather @1abi @alishii @umzugih @fadingenthusiastnightmare @yua-who @antov828 @seemeee3 @littlesweetbunnysworld @moon0goddess @ryudeiparine

[malfoysanctuary]

For You, I Burn

Fred Weasley x Reader

Summary: Fred Weasley has always been laughter and mischief, until someone crosses the line with you. And when he finally snaps, the entire room learns what happens when you touch what’s his.

The Burrow always smelled like cinnamon and sun-warmed wood, like safety and the childhood you didn’t know you were missing until you stepped through its crooked door.

You were barefoot in the kitchen that morning, tea mug in hand, wearing one of Fred’s jumpers that hung off your shoulder. The sleeves swallowed your hands, and the worn Weasley crest over your heart felt like armor stitched from love.

Fred came in, hair a mess, shirt wrinkled, that sleepy smirk on his face—the one that made your stomach tighten in all the best ways.

“Mornin’, gorgeous.” He kissed your cheek before stealing your mug for a sip. “Mmm. You really do make the best tea.”

“That was my cup,” you huffed, but your lips were already tugging into a smile.

“Exactly,” he said, cradling it in his hands like it belonged to him. Like you did.

And you did.

Fred Weasley was a walking contradiction.

He lived loud—always the first to laugh, the last to leave a party, the one who lit up any room with a spark in his eye and trouble on his tongue. He was chaos wrapped in kindness, sharp wit hidden beneath mischief.

But anger?

Fred wasn’t angry.

Not truly. Not the way some people snapped or fumed. His fuse was long. He shrugged off insults. Rolled with punches. He could be mocked, cursed at, even shoved—and he’d still grin like it was all a game.

There was only one thing that ever set Fred Weasley on fire.

You.

The thought of you hurt or afraid? It undid him. Peeled back something primal. Something furious.

It started at the Ministry gala—a sleek, post-war event meant to show peace had returned, though it still echoed with tension no one wanted to name.

You wore a midnight-blue dress that shimmered when you moved. Fred had stared the moment you stepped out of your room, blinking like he forgot how words worked.

“You… You’re going to kill me,” he’d said.

“Just for looking like this?”

He grinned. “No. For making it impossible not to.”

At the gala, Fred stuck close. Fingers brushing yours. Elbow bumping yours. Protective in the way a man is when he wants to keep you close, but still let you shine.

You’d just been talking to Angelina and George when it happened. Fred had ducked away to get drinks, trusting you were safe.

And for a while, you were.

Until a man in deep purple robes—older, smug, the kind of Ministry lifer who thought charm and cruelty were the same—wandered over. He smiled too widely, his eyes too sharp.

“I see the Weasley boy brought his… little project tonight.”

You stiffened.

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play coy. Pretty thing like you? I’m just saying, the war made desperate men settle early. Can’t imagine you bring much else to the table besides a pretty face.”

George moved first. “Hey. Back off.”

But the man only chuckled and turned toward you again. “Unless that’s the charm, of course. Is that it? A bit of fun before something better comes along?”

You opened your mouth—burning to respond—but you didn’t need to.

Fred was already there.

You didn’t see him coming, but you felt it.

Like heat. Like a lightning storm behind your back.

Fred’s voice came low and lethal:

“Say that again.”

The man turned, startled—but still smirking. “Weasley—don’t get yourself worked up. It’s just—”

CRACK.

Fred’s hand slammed the edge of the table beside them. Glass shattered. Conversations halted. The music stuttered and dropped into silence.

Fred didn’t shout. He didn’t even raise his voice.

But the look in his eyes was enough to make the entire room hold its breath.

“You want to insult me?” he said. “Do it. Take your best shot. I’ve heard worse.”

His voice dropped, dangerous and still. “But the second you talk about her like that? The second you reduce her to something small? We’ve got a problem.”

The man’s face paled.

Fred stepped closer, each movement coiled, his frame radiating restraint just barely holding.

“You don’t know a single thing about her,” Fred growled. “You don’t know how she held me together when I couldn’t breathe. How she wakes up from nightmares with a whisper instead of a scream. How she fits into my arms like magic, like she was built to fix every broken thing in me. So you’ll keep her name out of your filthy mouth—or you’ll find out how far I’m willing to go for the woman I love.”

No wand. No joke.

Just rage.

Quiet and shaking and terrifying.

You gently wrapped your fingers around his hand. “Fred.”

His head snapped toward you—and his expression cracked. The fury drained from his face in a slow, pained collapse.

His eyes roamed over you like he had to check—make sure you were whole. Safe. Breathing.

“Did he—did he hurt you?”

You shook your head. “No. Just made me feel… small.”

Fred turned back to the man. “Be grateful that’s all she said.”

He took your hand and led you away, not looking back.

It was nearly one in the morning by the time you made it back to the Burrow. The party dress was long gone, replaced by one of Fred’s shirts. He sat on the edge of the bed, jaw clenched, fists tight in his lap.

“I scared you,” he said.

“No.”

His voice cracked. “I scared me.”

You knelt between his legs, holding his hands, thumb stroking the freckled skin. “You were protecting me.”

“I’ve never felt like that before,” he whispered. “That kind of fury. Like I’d rip the world apart if it even looked at you wrong.”

“Fred…”

His gaze finally met yours. “I don’t want to become someone who reacts like that. Someone people fear.”

You leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his. “You’re not. You didn’t do that for power or pride. You did it for love.”

He exhaled sharply. “That man… the way he looked at you. Like you were something cheap. Like he could take what wasn’t his.”

“He didn’t. He couldn’t.”

Fred’s arms wrapped around you then, pulling you into his lap, his face tucked into your neck.

“I love you,” he whispered. “More than I ever knew I could love anything.”

You held his face in your hands. “And I love every part of you. Even the fire.”

That night, you fell asleep tangled together under the quilt, limbs twined like ivy. And before you drifted off, you whispered:

“Still angry?”

Fred kissed your shoulder. “Not anymore.”

“Why not?”

He shifted closer, voice warm against your skin.

“Because you’re here,” he murmured. “And he’s not.”

And that was all that mattered.

Because Fred Weasley wasn’t known for his temper.

But he’d burn the world down for you.

[porcelainbirdss]

my december love

summary: Mydei was the sun that peeks out from the clouds after a particularly heavy thunderstorm. she was the air you breathed in. she was everything. when someone asked you: "how did you two met?", all you could reply with was: "funny story. actually, i think i know her from the past life."

in other words: you and Mydei become roommates — this leads to a chain of events neither of you saw coming.

cw: fem!reader, fem!Mydei, fluff, angst, modern au, and they were roommates!, mentions of alcohol consumption, both of them are emotionally suppressed, yearning, like a lot of it, mutual pining, jealousy, reader is somewhat obsessive, dependency, slight hurt/comfort, good ending. || wc: 12k

it has been one year since you decided to share an apartment with Mydei. due to how expensive the costs were, you posted a simple question, asking whether someone would like to live with you. after all, you were a college student, and the state of your bank account was… well, rather questionable.

some people reached out to you, and you conversed with them for a while, getting to know them, and explaining the potential boundaries you’d have to set. unfortunately, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself they were good candidates, the doubts still continued to linger in the back of your head. no one seemed good enough (and you were not picky — you actually could think of yourself as an extrovert).

you almost gave up on your search, until she came into picture.

you remember reaching for your phone upon hearing the notification sound, a short: "i’m interested.” appearing on the screen. you clicked on the message, cocking one eyebrow up at the rather sparse greeting. then, you decided to check that person out — and, as it turns out, she was hot.

unbearably so, if you may be so bold. your heart hammered when you pressed on her profile, seeing her icon photo on full display. that girl — you even forgot to see what she was called — was absolutely beautiful. blonde locks with faded red encompassed her sharp features, golden eyes so piercing, you felt as if they would bore through your phone’s screen, and split you in half. to only add to your tragic crush at the first sight, she looked rather muscular. and had tattoos.

does it get any better than that?

still, no matter how stunning she was, you had to get to know her. obviously, you could blindly agree — hell, you could provide for her if she asked you to! — but you had a part of your wits with you, and so, you should do better than that.

in response, you quickly typed out a simple: "great! :)) the apartment cost is 1,200 monthly. tell me if that’s alright with you?"

you remember waiting anxiously, hoping for a fast answer. oh, you didn’t even know her, and she already had you tied around her finger.

when five minutes passed, and you didn’t get any messages back, you slumped into your bed with a groan of defeat, cursing your own mind. then, a loud 'ping!' reverberated through the space, and you practically launched yourself at your phone with a dumb grin sprawled across your face.

it read: "that is fine with me.", huh, she’s formal, isn’t she?, "we can also split the cost of groceries, if you’d like."

you gasped in triumph at the conversation, giggling to yourself like a teenage girl. only then you thought to actually see what that mysterious person’s name was — Mydeimos. you repeated it out loud, and thought you liked the way it sounded on your tongue.

"that would be awesome! should we meet up and talk over the details?” you wrote, internally hoping Mydeimos would agree. you have never offered any of the potential candidates for your roommate to met before — alas, you wished to see that breathtaking face in person.

all you received in response was a thumb-up emoji.

well. could have been worse.

after that, you pretty much hit it off… at least that’s what you like to think. you couldn’t get much out of the girl during your first meeting — she acted the same way as she typed her messages. a little stern. somewhat frigid. but at the same time, it was obvious to you she was immensely patient, and kind, and you failed to spot any evident red flags.

not to mention, her profile picture hardly represented just how prepossessing she truly was. there were a few times where you had to ask Mydeimos to repeat herself, because as you ogled her, all you could hear was an incoherent: "blah, blah, blah."

ultimately, you talked some more through your phone, and decided to move in together. you can recall that day so vividly, as you practically trembled from excitement.

you stood in the middle of your still somewhat empty apartment, observing as Mydei carried in the last of boxes, filled with her stuff. she allowed you to help her with dragging in the majority of her things, sending you a polite smile as you earnestly offered to give her a hand. this one, however, she insisted to carry herself.

"c’mon, you must be tired from walking up and down," you chuckled, even though the girl didn’t seem affected at all, "give me that, i’ll put it in your room."

Mydei cocked one eyebrow up at you, settling the box down with a huff. "and you’re not? you’ve been running around like a headless chicken."

you laughed abashedly, waving your hand at her comment. it is true you were acting a little absurd, but you had no bad intentions! all you wanted to do was to appease your new roommate. you didn’t perceive it as any trouble, since you managed to move all of your stuff the day prior, and were still bustling with energy.

you shuffled your feet towards the box, inspecting it, and finally deciding to pick it up. it didn’t budge. you groaned in surprise, sending Mydei a perplexed look. "what the hell?"

"told you.” she shrugged nonchalantly, wiping her sweaty forehead. even though it was already september, the weather remained hot. "don’t try moving it, else you’ll hurt your back.”

you nodded stiffly, watching her walk towards the open kitchen space, and pour water into two glasses. couldn’t she just refill one? "okay…” you murmured, swiftly prying the box open to look at its contents. at least six dumbbells, two of them having a combined weight of 130 pounds — and she carried it up the stairs?!

with a gasp, you straightened out, your back almost bumping into Mydei. you swiveled on your foot, the sight of her perplexed face being the first thing to greet you. "uh, i—"

"here you go." she said, extending the glass towards your way. you blinked twice, because you were absolutely sure she’d scold you for rummaging through her things. so she poured that water for you, it would seem. huh…

you sent her a weak smirk, taking a generous sip. "thanks. to be honest, i’m spent.”

Mydei sighed at your words, stepping towards her empty room. "well, i’ve still got some things to take care of, but you go ahead and take a break.”

instead of plopping down on the couch, you followed in tow, stopping in front of your own personal space (which you were extremely proud of). "wanna see my room?”

the girl paused her walk. “what for?”

"oh, come on, we’re living together now! you have to know how your house looks like!” you beckoned in an upbeat tone of voice, opening the door.

upon seeing it, Mydei’s eyebrows narrowed in a frown, a certain mixture of disdain and perplexity growing on her face. you gulped.

"do you… do you seriously need this many plushies and fairy lights?”

“what, you don’t like it?” you huffed, knowing the clash of your personalities would come sooner or later — but honestly, you wished for it to never arrive.

she shook her head, schooling her look into something less judgmental upon your dejected eyes. "that’s not what i meant, [name]. it’s cute. suits you well.” she responded, though there wasn’t much conviction in her voice.

"…thanks.”

you decided to leave it at that, moping around in your bedroom instead of helping Mydei. the nightfall came, and you were starting to miss your family, filling up with doubts and various anxieties. perhaps you were a little sad — okay, more than sad! you felt like wallowing in your despair, pressing one of your childhood toys close to your chest — that is, until you heard a knock.

"can i come in?" called the familiar voice, causing your head to snap up.

you instantly sat, throwing the stuffie away, afraid of what Mydei could possibly think of you if she were to see you in such miserable state. "sure."

the door cracked open, a crown of blond hair peeking through. she walked in, checking you out as you sent her a tight smile. "are you okay? you haven’t left your room for the whole day.”

"totally!” you lied, of course.

she didn’t point out how stiff you were, her line of vision instead landing on the discarded plushie, now hopelessly sprawled out on the floor. she picked it up, a bit tentatively, and gently placed it on your bed. you wanted to burn from embarrassment. "i just finished setting up my room. do you want to see?" the girl offered, her tone flat but kind all the same.

you practically sprung from your sitting position, like a wind-up toy. "yeah, i’d love to!”

both of you strolled into Mydei’s space — and, to be fair, you don’t know what you were expecting, but surely not this.

well, the dumbbells along with a skipping rope and a rolled mat in the corner seemed in-character, though the rest completely contrasted with the girl you knew. first off all, her bed — a pale-pink duvet draped over its surface. then, the posters hanging above, one depicting a cutesy boysband you were unfamiliar with, and the second showing some rather hardcore metal band.

your eyes flied around, locking on the desk — a stack of cooking books on its side, topped with a dictionary of sorts. an orange cat figurine. a couple of music records on display. a mousepad — again, in pink color.

"and you made fun of my room!” you exclaimed, swiveling your head to face Mydei.

she frowned at you. “i said it was cute!”

"but you looked like you were seconds away from puking!”

the girl paused, blinking twice. "…can’t deny that.”

you sighed, shaking your head — alas, you could never take any real offense from Mydei. she may as well spit on your shoes right there, and you’d thank her, because who are you to tell what this goddess of a woman can and cannot do?

——

september fourteenth.

the second year of your college life rolled around, and you couldn’t yet discern whether you were absolutely despaired, or happy.

happy, because you got to finally see Mydei. the girl wasn’t from this city, so she left during summer vacations, leaving you alone with the few feeble friendships you managed to establish during the first year. you often called her, talking for hours on end, catching up and whatnot — but it simply couldn’t replace the sound of her quiet laughter by your ear, or how sweetly she smiled at you when you offered to help her out with maths.

i am doomed, you thought one day while you were lazing around on your bed, fanning your face as waves of hotness hit your body. sure, you were crushing on her since the start, but honestly, it was pretty shallow back then. the only thing you were infatuated with were her good looks. you failed to take Mydei’s lovely personality into consideration, or see how interesting of a person she truly was.

right now, you were absolutely certain your dumb crush was treading into a dangerous direction — and, well, you only hoped Mydei didn’t catch on your hopeless behavior towards her. still, it may have been pretty obvious when she stood in the doorframe with a singular suitcase, and you practically broke down in front of her, wailing at how badly you wanted her to stay.

well. that was embarrassing.

anyway, no matter how joyous you were at your final reunion with the girl, there were some problems too. the main cause of your troubles, right now, was the overload of stress and work piling up on your shoulders.

even though college started barely two weeks ago, you were already drowning in unfinished projects and deadlines, crushed under its weight. sometimes you felt as if you didn’t have the time to even catch a breath.

Mydei managed just fine. she stuck to her routine, waking up everyday at exactly 5 AM to go on a run, shower, prepare you both breakfast (because she was kind enough to make you food — it started once you praised her cooking so highly, her whole face burned up in a vermillion), head out to the campus, and come back. then, she’d go to the gym while you were still groaning over your textbooks, and come home at a rather late hour, but still having enough time to study.

you didn’t know how Mydei was doing that. sometimes you genuinely thought she was some kind of a super-woman, because there was no way someone possessed this much energy and self discipline. it only made you feel worse about yourself.

right now, you were hunched by the dining table, a multitude of books displayed on its surface as you tried gathering your thoughts.

no matter how hard you attempted to focus, everything seemed to bother you. birds singing outside the window, people from above your floor stomping loudly, Mydei accidentally dropping her fork—

"could you be quiet?” you snapped, your eyes flickering over to the girl who was currently sitting by the other end of the table, eating the late dinner you refused (which you did begrudgingly, alas, you didn’t have the time to even think about food).

her eyebrows narrowed at the harsh tone of your voice, and only then you actually regretted raising it. "you don’t have to scream at me, i can hear you clearly.” she retorted, digging the fork into a piece of beef. it scraped over the plate, evoking another uncomfortable sound.

"i’m trying to focus.”

“then go focus somewhere else.”

you huffed. “it’s my home, and i can focus wherever i want!”

Mydei already opened her mouth to take a bite, but paused, her sharp irises sending you a glare. “it is my home too, and we are in the kitchen, so i didn’t think you’d mind me eating here.”

you kept silent, trying to reciprocate the unpleasant look she was giving you, even if you couldn’t harden your eyes around the corners. you felt tired. utterly tired, and you just managed to anger Mydei by your stupid outburst. does it get any worse than that?

"i’m sorry…” you finally muttered, your gaze falling back onto your notebooks. what else were you supposed to say? you’ve never fought with her before — could it even be considered a fight? more like a bitter bicker, but still. your breath trembled, and you felt awful.

the girl continued to eat more quietly now, and once she was done, she slowly got up from the chair, as if afraid of startling you further. once Mydei put the dish away in the sink, she leaned over you, her hand suddenly squeezing your shoulder.

you looked at her with question in your eyes, gripping your pen a bit too hard. "i’m sorry too.”

now you were almost baffled. why was she apologizing over your own spillage of ugly emotions? "no, Mydei, it’s alright. it is me who yelled at you.” you quickly forced out, straightening in your seat.

she shook her head, and you swear you could melt on the spot from the mere look on her face. "it’s alright. shit happens.” she spoke, letting go of your shoulder — you wholeheartedly believed the conversation to end here, but then the girl reached for your tousled hair, swiping it to the side. "i can order some takeout for you. i could cook, but… i don’t want to make any more noise.”

you had to stop your jaw from slacking into the floor, completely stunned by her display of understanding. Mydei wasn’t like you — she was patient, and had this calming effect on people, no matter how intimidating she may have appeared. you were jealous.

not jealous of her, specifically — but of the people she considered her best friends. the ones who could taste her kindness on a deeper level, those who knew her for longer than you.

you didn’t know what connected you. sometimes your relation resembled a tug of war, with her pulling at the rope, and making you stumble with the sheer impact of her benevolent actions. you liked her. you liked her so badly it hurt in every single fiber of your body, and yet, you couldn’t do anything about it.

there were moments that got you questioning her sexual orientation, but she never mentioned having a girlfriend, or anything of the sort. how could you know if she was like that? what would you do if one day your resolve broke in half, and you confessed your feelings, only to be turned down with a few of dismayed words? she’d hate you, surely.

maybe you’re mistaking her acts of kindness for something deeper — maybe your friendship was nothing more but a shallow bond, created between two people who strived to survive in this unforgiving life of a college student.

perhaps, all the times you shared your woes, and all the secrets you spilled to each other weren’t as meaningful as you thought. you must be delusional, no?

"[name]?”

you jumped up in your seat, brutally snapped out of your morose reveries. "uh— what?”

Mydei sighed, taking a singular step back. "i asked if you want a takeout.”

you chuckled awkwardly at your own disorientation, scratching the nape of your neck. "sure, i don’t see why not.”

the girl nodded, reaching for the phone in her back pocket, and quickly dialing the number of your favorite restaurant. you observed her walk around the kitchen in circles, finally leaning her hip against the counter as someone decided to mercifully pick up.

she recited your usuals by heart, and then hung up, turning to look at your slightly dazed expression. "why’re you looking at me like that?” she questioned, her eyebrows knitting together.

oh. you were staring.

"like what?”

Mydei huffed, tossing her blonde locks over her shoulder. "never mind. try to focus for now, and i’ll let you know when the food comes." she declared, touching your chair’s backrest before walking towards her room.

when the girl left, you groaned to yourself, embarrassed at how many times she caught you practically consuming her with your eyes. you denied every time she pointed it out, though deep down, you knew you were lying. if you closed your eyelids for long enough, the visage of Mydei’s face always appeared in your mind, seemingly engraved there for good.

——

october thirty-first.

life got easier now, and you managed to fall back into the rhythm of studying, and juggling between the chores of everyday life. you and Mydei helped each other out as much as possible, taking on some tasks when one of you was too tired, or just generally remaining supportive.

and it was going great. perfect, even, if not for your brilliant idea of going to a costume party. well, it was the hallows’ eve, and since you were a big fan of all spooky things, you just had to go. halloween lasted for only one day, and so, you practically begged Mydei to accompany you.

at first, she didn’t agree. then, as you pressed some more, she started to question what she could even dress herself as — you proceeded to list all the ideas off the top of your head, but neither satisfied the girl. a werewolf? too weird. a zombie? what are we, in the middle of the walking dead casting? a mummy — no way, she won’t deal with all the toilet paper. a witch? absolutely no. an angel? too generic. a devil? also too generic. a cat-woman? that earner an exasperated snicker.

well, Mydei ended up going with you, but she wasn’t dressed as anything. you, on the other hand, decided to wear a vampire’s costume. okay, maybe costume was an exaggeration — you simply searched your wardrobe for some black and red garments, and smothered the corners of your lips with an intense lipstick, which was supposed to imitate blood.

when your roommate saw you, all she did was raise an eyebrow at you, sending you an unimpressed look. you, however, had to contain a gasp of astonishment at just how pretty she looked — usually, Mydei wore sport clothes, nothing overly flashy or anything. this time, the girl adorned herself in something more official-looking, and you couldn’t help but fawn internally at how beautiful she was.

after that, you got to the organizer’s house, immediately greeted by some notorious melody, booming loudly throughout the space.

and you were having fun — really, you were — but at some point you and your friend got separated, busying yourself with different circles of people. you seethed internally on the other side of the room, watching as Mydei talked with some guy. you didn’t know him, but he carried that easygoing smirk on his face, which, truth be told, reminded you of a snake. a vicious viper, waiting patiently for its victim to let their guard down, and sink its teeth deep inside their throat.

he was leaning in way too much, and Mydei didn’t seem exactly bothered by the little proximity between them. she casually sipped on some wine, legs crossed, nodding along to whatever that man was saying.

perhaps what you did was spiteful, but you spoke to some unfamiliar man too. you weren’t flirting with him, or anything, just laughing at his poor jokes, pretending like you actually enjoyed the company.

and then, you got drunk. your heart felt a little too heavy, so you reached for one cup of beer after another, gulping them down irresponsibly. before you knew it, you were practically stumbling over that guy’s side, gesticulating wildly as you told him yet another story of your life — which he didn’t seem to be overly interested in, but still listened with intent.

suddenly, you felt a firm grip on your wrist, squeezing your limb hard enough to pull you out of your drunken stupor. you turned, only to see Mydei, scowling at you as if you at least murdered her whole family.

it was barely after 11 PM, but the girl tugged you out of the party, demanding to go home. you, of course, agreed without much hesitation, telling her to call for a cab.

the whole ride to your place was gravely silent, and you wished to ask what caused her such a deep dismay, but whenever you glanced in her direction, all she did was scoff at you. you decided to keep your mouth shut.

as you finally sat down on your trusty couch, Mydei continued to simmer internally — frown embedded on her sharp features, making her appear even more fierce than usual. you wanted to be scared of her — because that’s what she was aiming for, most likely. unfortunately, your drunkenness only caused you to become even more bold.

"Mydei,” you whined, circling around your roommate as she stood by the kitchen counter, preparing something quick to settle your stomach, "are you mad at me?”

"take a wild guess.” she answered lowly, her movements stiff.

you sighed at her words, looking around the space, as if it was supposed to offer you some miraculous solution. a slightly beat-up radio you thrifted stood on the windowsill, almost beckoning out to you, like a siren’s cry — so you turned it on.

"turn it off, [name].” Mydei muttered, drying her hands after she washed the knife, "i’m not in the mood.”

you swiveled on your foot, your eyebrows narrowing at the girl with determination. "tell me what’s wrong, or i won’t.”

she grumbled under her breath in response, the dismayed sound reminding you of a faraway thunder’s road. "you’re too drunk to even understand.”

a pleasant, slow melody filled the space. you grinned to yourself, grasping Mydei’s hands in yours, and tugging her forwards before giving a gentle twirl. her frown only deepened. "such a nice song, don’t you think?” you hummed happily, pressing your body closer to hers.

what you were doing obviously lacked in any sense or tune. once you sober up, you’ll regret everything you did and said, but…

"just what are you doing?” your friend murmured, still yet to pull away. she looked so stunning from up close. the warm light seeped into her golden irises, making them appear amber-like.

in response, you shrugged, swaying without much elegance, nor finesse. "trying to cheer you up, is all.” you slurred, taking a big breath in. she smelled of cherries.

"then stop it, because it’s obviously not working.”

"why aren’t you pulling away, then?”

that seemed to shut her up temporarily. after a short beat of silence, Mydei spoke again — reluctantly, but that was progress.

"wanna know why i’m angry at you?”

you nodded slowly, trying to showcase you were still able of properly communicating. "yes."

she exhaled, her fingers clutching a bit harder around your joints. "i didn’t like you talking to that guy."

upon hearing it, at first you wanted to burst out into salves of laughter — but then you realized that she wasn’t joking. the girl rarely pulled stunts of such nature on you, always remaining rather serious in her demeanor, so she was obviously telling the truth. she was… she was mad because you latched yourself to some man. well, you did that with this exact purpose, yet at the same time, guilt squeezed at your heart.

you didn’t mean to hurt her feelings — never, ever — but why was she actually irritated by this? it’s not like you had some unspoken rule, saying: do not talk to others.

your slightly hazy eyes scanned her face, and you led her into another twirl, trying to gather your disarrayed thoughts. "why didn’t you like it?”

Mydei scoffed, pointedly looking away from your searching gaze. she bit on her lower lip, obviously consternated. "that’s the worst part of it all. i don’t know.”

you chuckled quietly, thinking you’d be a lunatic if you got your hopes up over something as trivial as this. maybe she just felt lonely, with you pretty much ignoring her existence during the party. "you don’t?”

"no,” she sighed, her softened irises returning to you with defiance, "sometimes you drive me crazy. did you know that, [name]?”

your drunken mind couldn’t fully grasp the weight of those words, and you laughed again, pressing your head towards her neck. "you drive me crazy too.”

Mydei didn’t respond, and her silence urged you to continue. "but don’t worry. i think he was an asshole anyway.”

"that’s good.”

"his costume was shitty.”

"i’ve noticed.”

"do you think mine is shitty too?”

she huffed out an airy snicker, shoulders relaxing. suddenly, your track of the slow dancing got interrupted by your friend’s back meeting with the counter. you didn’t even notice when you led her there. "no. yours is beautiful.”

you giggled at the compliment, nose prodding at the column of her throat. "and do you know what vampires do?” you asked, out of the blue. Mydei shook her head, and that was all it took for you to latch your lips around her neck, giving a bite, careful enough not to break through the skin.

she hissed, but didn’t move. didn’t do anything to actually glue you away from her — you barely sensed her letting go of your palms, moving her hands to your waist. just what the hell were the both of you doing?

"they bite me—" she paused, taking a shaky breath, "i suppose.”

you hummed, pulling away to observe your creation, sprawled across her delicate skin like a purple moth, painted with the vibrant red of your lipstick. it melted into one with the tattoo adorning the girl’s neck. an artistic mayhem, you thought. the mark of your deeply-insatiable covet.

Mydei’s hand reached for the apple of your cheek, cupping it gently. "you’ve smeared makeup all over your chin.” she remarked, an easy smile growing on her lips.

then, as she looked at you through her thick eyelashes, you genuinely believed she was some kind of a vixen, sent down on this earth with the sole purpose of torturing you. an otherworldly being, with eyes of gold, and equally golden heart.

how could you not love those irises, who saw you in every state, and still decided to stick around?

before you thought of taking a step back, the pleasant music long gone, now replaced by the broadcaster’s monotone voice — Mydei’s grip on your face tightened, and you were pulled into a kiss.

your mind short circuited, and you gasped into her mouth with surprise, forgetting how to breathe — how to move your limbs.

the whole world seemed to stop spinning altogether, and the air got unbelievably heavy in your lungs. you’d adore her forever. there was no changing to that.

tears prickled at your eyes uncomfortably, but none fell, and you heaved, allowing Mydei’s consoling touch to support your suddenly lax body. forever, forever. even if you got changed into a bug — you’d find relief under the sole of her shoe.

when you pulled away, your mind instantly sobered up, shaken by how both of your lipsticks smudged, appearing as if you just feasted on some raw flesh. Mydei’s dazed look changed into a perplexed one when she noticed the conflict on your face. you reached to touch your lips, hand trembling.

she must have been playing with you, because there was no way this was real.

"[name], i’m—"

you turned on your heel, quickly walking towards your room without letting the girl finish her sentence. you shut the door, sliding down on the cold floor, and you let out a strangled sob, thinking: gods, why did i do that?

(perhaps it is true that all suffering originated from attachment).

the next day, you both agreed it was a mistake, and promised to never talk about it again.

——

november tenth.

honestly, you expected the atmosphere between you to remain tense, because after that halloween incident, neither of you were able of looking each other’s in the eye. fortunately, the situation managed to ease down a little, and you fell back into the usual tempo.

even if you were a bit afraid of touching Mydei, thinking she’d misunderstand you, and decide to move out.

even if Mydei sent longing looks your way every so often, clearing her throat awkwardly when you caught her staring.

well. never mind that.

three days ago, you got caught up in rain, and now you were absolutely sick, sprawled out on your bed with a febrile condition. it was tiring you out beyond all senses, and as you coughed and whined in pain, Mydei was constantly by your side.

at first, you insisted she doesn’t need to worry about you, but the girl dismissed you sternly. it is only logical she’d have her way — after all, she was quite stubborn.

you wouldn’t describe her as exactly rebellious — because she never outwardly displayed such traits — but she surely was. always treading her own path, making her own decisions, concluding what was the best for her.

you remember when some time ago, a topic of your families came up. you briefly joked about your siblings and parents, laughing how terribly they must miss you. Mydei smiled along to your words, saying she wished to have such a loving family too. you felt a bit consternated then, so obviously, you asked her what was up.

she then proceeded to casually explain how her father almost forced her to become the next CEO of his big-ass company — with the most deadpan expression on her face, mind you!

you were stunned into silence, because, most importantly — she must have been dirty rich, but still acted like a humble civilian, dressing in normal clothes instead of those lavish ones you could only dream of whenever you went shopping. certainly, you noticed Mydei’s jewelry looked rather expensive, but when you inquired where she got it from, she always responded with an unsure shrug. one time, you checked her necklace out, remembering the brand’s name (which sounded pretty luxurious). you closed your browser as quickly as you opened it, baffled by the first 20.000 dollars on the display.

yeah. there was no way you could afford it.

another thing — Mydei spoke of her father as if he was a mere pest. the disdain filling her eyes didn’t fail to slip past your notice, and you felt almost guilty for even touching upon the topic.

so, summing up, the girl was certainly rebellious. and now, she denied your protests, coming in and out of your room with new portions of soup or medication.

the frown on Mydei’s face only deepened as she took a brief glance at the thermometer, her sharp eyes narrowing with such perturbation, almost as if the inanimate object managed to offend her personally. you giggled weakly at the girl’s expression, trying not to showcase just how awful you felt.

"don’t laugh, it’s not funny.” she murmured, standing up, and starting to shake the thermometer, allowing the mercury to seep down.

you sighed, closing your eyes. your whole face seemed to be set on fire. "do i have a fever…?”

your friend clicked her tongue, setting the thing aside. "yeah, and a very serious one at that. are you sure you don’t want me to call for the doctor?”

oh gods, anything but a doctor!

"no, no. i’ll be fine.” you quickly responded, trembling at the mere thought of having some stranger loom over your exhausted frame instead of Mydei.

you cracked one of your eyelids open, gazing at the girl. she could serve as a good physician, you thought — and she really looked like one too. hair tied back into a ponytail, stern expression, and those reading glasses she had to wear, because the letters on some meds were too small.

she glanced at the clock before turning on her heel, and walking out. "soup time.” she announced, and you groaned under your breath.

yeah, this so called 'soup time' occurred every three hours, and you had to sit up on your bed, sipping on chicken broth Mydei seemed to be cooking up in a bottomless cauldron.

in addition, you felt guilty. you were troubling her to no end, no matter if it was her own decision to take care of you. she even skipped her gym time! how awful is that?

still. no one was forcing her to look after you. she did that out of her own volition. your heart clenched, and you couldn’t help but daydream about how nice it would be if her tender acts towards you were motivated by something more than friendship. again, you were acting delusional, but at least you had your febrile condition as an excuse.

the familiar footsteps resonated through the space, and your vision locked on Mydei, now seated by your bed with another bowl of that soup you were already sick of. "sit, [name].” she spoke calmly, waiting for you to scramble up.

you attempted to heave yourself up, but the strain in your muscles caused another cramp. those painkillers didn’t work at all, did they? "i can’t…!” you whined, perhaps a bit overdramatic.

Mydei rolled her eyes, setting the dish aside, and pulling you upwards as if you were featherlight. you blinked, flustered. "now, go and eat. you’ll feel better.”

since she was so generous, you decided to see how far her benevolence could stretch. "i don’t have the strength to eat by myself.” you concluded, spreading your arms helplessly.

your roommate looked at you like you had at least a few screw loose — and then she breathed in defeat, reaching for the bowl. "alright, if you wanna act like a baby,” the spoon prodded at your lips, "open up.”

"but it’s too hot—" your complain got interrupted by the soup practically pushed into your mouth once you spoke. you gasped, feeling at the uncomfortable temperature running down your throat, and settling somewhere in your chest. it felt like molten lava. Mydei probably didn’t estimate it as any sort of problem, because the girl often ate hot food. how crazy do you have to be to drink freshly-brewed tea while it’s still scalding?

before more protests fell from your lips, another spoon found its way towards them. you almost wanted to say: alright, never mind, i’ll eat on my own, but obviously, you didn’t. how could you refuse when all of your yearnings came true? Mydei is feeding you, eyes soft, even though her lips remain pressed into a thin line. if it turns out you died, and somehow found yourself in heaven, you wouldn’t be surprised.

once you were done eating, you took some more painkillers, and went to shower. of course, when you were taking far too long, Mydei felt inclined to knock at the door, asking if you were alive. she was really worried about you, huh?

then, both of you got busy with yourselves, and after a longer while of tossing and turning, you fell asleep.

your dreams were usually nice, however the fever seemed to mess with your brain even in the state of rest — your childhood dog, prancing around your legs happily. you were in your garden, tossing the stick for it to catch. instead of coming back to you, the dog burst through the line of poplars, disappearing from your view. you panicked, chasing after the pet, and calling out to it.

you’d probably continue sprinting (in slow-motion, to your dismay) through the labyrinths of trees, if not for the familiar voice coming from behind your back. you turned, dazed, the visage of Mydei in her hallows’ eve outfit reaching you, your dog obediently sat by her feet. she held him on a leash. you exhaled in relief, coming up to them.

and then, she gave you a shove to your shoulder. you gasped, jolting awake — only to see the same face, now looming over you, shaking your arm in the same manner. "gosh, finally awake.” she murmured, and you felt a pang of hotness spread over you.

ugh, you could barely open your eyes — your head pounded, sweat sticking to your forehead and back. "what…?” you forced out, trying to regain focus.

"i just came to check up on you.” the girl stated in a quiet tone, and only then you sensed the thermometer sticking out from under your armpit. your hazed gaze flied over the room, taking notice of a refilled jug of water, and another portion of ibuprofenum.

you didn’t respond, keeping your vision locked on her. Mydei sighed morosely, and you meant to ask what time is it, but her hand pressed by your temple, cutting you off. her touch was gentler than usually. "you’re burning up again… oh well, i suppose that’s normal during the night.” she commented meekly, taking the thermometer. "as i thought.”

you gave a silent hum, rolling on your back. "is it late?”

"half past one. i didn’t mean to wake you, but you seemed distressed so…”

"that’s alright. thanks.”

she smiled at you. "were you having a nightmare?”

"no, not really…” you chuckled weakly, running a palm over your weary eyes, "you were there. so it wasn’t a nightmare.”

your friend nodded once, the corners of her lips itching even further upwards. "good.” she tapped the bedside table, redirecting your attention, "take the meds. and if that doesn’t help, we’ll drive to after-hours medical service."

obviously, you didn’t want to go there, so you obediently took the pills, wincing at the unpleasant taste. "and why’re you awake, huh?” you thought to ask, seeing she was still dressed in her casual clothes.

"i couldn’t sleep.” was all the girl said, though you felt as if there was more to it.

looking at the concern on her face, and how generally stressed she seemed, you came to a simple conclusion — you are the reason for her sleeplessness. if that wasn’t the case, she surely wouldn’t be hovering in your room in the middle of the night.

how can anybody be this pure?

"Mydei,” you started, your eyelids too heavy to keep open now, "you’re my favorite person, did you know that?”

you failed to spot her reaction — all you heard was a quiet huff of neither laughter or dismay, and then she left. maybe it’s for the better.

——

november twenty-ninth.

things between you got weird.

well, not exactly weird, but it definitely wasn’t normal either. you fell into a routine especially tailored for each of you; studying together, doing your makeup, watching movies every friday and saturday evening (while inconspicuously leaning into your sides).

earlier on, whenever you broke down over your studies, Mydei would briefly ask you if everything was alright, quickly escaping the room with an awkward expression. now, she wiped your own tears, allowing you to wail into her shoulder, and offering to help you (even if she had a big workload on her shoulders as well).

you, on the other hand, possessed this habit of pointedly ignoring her outbursts when the girl’s father called, insisting she comes back home. her eyebrows always narrowed in such a glare, you were afraid you’d accidentally get intertwined into her flury of nerves. however now, you ensured consolation, listening to her vent the frustrations out.

Mydei show you her favorite music, and laughed when you sang along to that overplayed song you’d both listen to in the morning. she taught you history, and you allowed her to rant about all the events and wars. you learnt from her how to make those incredible dishes — and she never lost her patience, even if you weren’t the perfect cook.

you got closer, and closer. your terrible crush grew so much until it wasn’t a crush anymore, and now you couldn’t function properly with it.

there was this one time when you decided to snoop through Mydei’s phone while she was showering. a shameful act indeed, and you’re disgusted with yourself even now — but at least you got some closure.

first of all — you went into her messages. half of them were some weather alerts, or delivery men saying her package was home. one contact was tilted as "dumbass"…? what kind of name is that? you clicked on it, and saw a candid photo of a grinning girl with ivory locks. before your gut could clench with any jealousy, you read through their texts. the last one was from a month ago, and every single of them went pretty much like this: "what’s up?" — "nothing" — "how are you?" — "good. hbu" — "i’m good too!" — "ok".

well. that’s acceptable enough.

then you headed straight for her gallery. two hundred photos overall — not much in comparison to your ten thousand. one folder filled with screenshots of recipes, another one of some animals, one for friends, and… your heart practically stopped when you saw the inconspicuous name: "with [name]". you pressed on it, only ten photos showing. selfies you took of when you were doing some silly things together, and sent to her. one picture depicting two plates of food you got at some fancy restaurant as a treat with half of your torso in sight. another of when you went to the main square, and a pigeon sat on your head. third one — a selfie the girl took herself, her face close to the camera with you in the background, coddling a stray cat.

the fact Mydei didn’t delete any of the photos you sent her was already a big achievement, but making a separate folder specifically to store them? now that was bewildering. yeah, of course, she had one with her friends too, but it was a general package of their faces. none of them had an unrelated folder — unlike you.

then, you heard the shower turn off, so you quickly locked the phone, and put it back in its previous place.

your emotions were in a state of conflict, because all of this time you believed you were pretty much insane for thinking Mydei perceived you as anything more. your relationship with her was stable, and you could say you were happy with how things were — but at the same time, it wasn’t. after all, you’ve kissed before (and didn’t discuss the act any further), relied on each other more than you probably should, opened up about the most embarrassing secrets you’d never tell anyone. you continuously stared at Mydei — and she stared back at you, not even bothered to hide the fond smile stretching her lips, almost as if beckoning, signifying: "stop being so oblivious, and come to me.”

but neither of you spoke honestly of your feelings, and it was killing you. perhaps you were stubborn, after all, and wouldn’t ever tell how you truly felt. that is, until you got that brilliant idea of trying your luck, and pushing to see where your lack of restraint would get you.

your first attempt was… well, of questionable results. Mydei was making herself some protein shake, back turned towards you as you neared her in steps loud enough to not startle the girl. you carefully hugged her from behind, leaning your chin on her shoulder, and asked what she was doing. your roommate froze, one of her big palms accidentally crushing a handful of wild strawberries. she cursed you out for scaring her — which was weird, because you obviously didn’t sneak up.

you wholeheartedly believed this whole charade was a failure, and you should stop, except your efforts borne some fruition. one day later, you were in the same spot, washing your skillets with incomparable fervor. then, Mydei stood beside you, her hand touching the small of your back — she said something about how you should use less soap, but all you heard was white noise, and the rush of blood running through your ears.

you deemed it as a success (considering that your friend has never initiated such closeness), and now there was a silent agreement between you — where you could finally touch without any fear caused by some prejudice.

but it still doesn’t change the fact it’s not enough.

right now, you were sprawled out on the couch, hanging upside down with your legs hooked over the backrest. you were bored, and tired. yesterday (or rather — today) your upstairs neighbor decided to throw a party. it lasted until 3 AM, and normally you wouldn’t mind, except it was in the middle of a week! at around 1 AM, you sent Mydei to confront them, because she was braver than you. it didn’t take long before their conversation changed into a screaming match and police threats. your roommate already started dialing the number, so you had to forcibly drag her away.

with that, you didn’t get any real sleep. Mydei was running on fumes, considering she managed to fall into rest at around 4 AM, and woke up an hour later. you were no better, with barely three hours of sleep, and eyelids so heavy you thought you might pass out right there.

"i’m bored. entertain me." you murmured, irises focused on the reversed image of the girl. with your current position, she seemed to be hanging from the ceiling, like some kind of a bat.

her hands paused, but she didn’t move her eyes to look up at you from her laptop’s screen. "perhaps you should try reading one of your overdue books."

you snickered. "no way. besides, i like annoying you better.”

it was not entirely true, but you felt like teasing her. sometimes your witty comments or actions led you to places where mere words would never take you.

"well, you’re succeeding.”

you let out a mocking gasp, the corners of your lips stretching even further. "damn, that was almost a compliment."

Mydei smirked faintly, typing a few letters, still yet to look at you. "it really wasn’t."

with a sigh, you rolled over. your head hurt a little from the weird position you took earlier, blood probably coloring your whole face red. it was already pretty late, and if not for the tapping rain along with your friend’s meek shuffling, the whole space would be completely silent.

and then, a thought passed your brain. it was equally crazed as the rest of your ideas, but non-committing enough. you could easily snake your way out, in case Mydei got angry at you. you’d simply chalk it up to a joke, pretending as if you weren’t genuinely truthful.

"tell me… why don’t you ever let go?"

you saw her jaw clench, but she didn’t look up. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

try and guess, is what you itched to say — alas, knowing Mydei, she’d probably offer the most roundabout answer in the world. you couldn’t be thrown off-track now.

"you’re always doing something. working out. cleaning." you paused, taking an unsure breath. "pretending like what we have is normal."

her joints stopped moving again, eyebrows narrowing together. an obvious sign you stepped into a dangerous territory — it often felt like that with her. you’re having fun, and then you can almost sense the lion’s breath on your nape, because you were foolish enough to parade into its liar. "i’m not pretending."

your gut clenched. "uh-huh. sure.”

Mydei finally glanced at you. you were staring at her — really staring. a beat of something silent passed between you, and it pushed you to speak again.

"you know what i mean."

"i don’t think i do." she responded quietly, so unlike her.

"Mydei."

it was painfully easy to spot how her whole body seemed to tense up. "don’t."

you should stop — but you had this weird conviction that if you ceased the conversation now, neither of you would talk about it again. just like it was with that unfortunate kiss.

now it was your eyebrow’s turn to furrow. "why not?"

she exhaled heavily, running her fingers through the blonde locks. they grew so much, the red paint on them barely visible now. maybe you’ll offer to redo her hair once you have the time. "because if i say something—" a pause, "if i say something— then this changes. and i don’t know what happens after that."

you straightened out in your seat, because for whatever reason, you imagined a sharp guillotine hanging above your neck. it surely felt like so. your heart hammered at your ribs, and all the boldness you previously harbored began to crack. "you don’t think it already changed?" you asked in a low tone.

Mydei’s expression was now shaped into this weird mixture of a snarling dog and a dejected fawn. "i just don’t want to mess up whatever we have, alright?" she retorted, suddenly closing her laptop. it clattered so hard you thought she might have accidentally broke it.

"i don’t understand you."

the tug of war. the chains bidding your wrists. the mixed signals. the kennel you were both stuffed into, forced to deal with your own emotions while simultaneously rejecting them.

when your friend didn’t respond, you heaved yourself up, slowly closing the distance between you. you leaned your hip on the table’s edge, an arm’s length separating you now. her golden eyes fixed on you, but they lacked in their usual fierceness — perhaps it was the dim light that caused them to soften around the corners.

she opened her mouth to speak, but you were faster. "what if i told you i think about you all the time?"

Mydei huffed out a dry laugh. "i’d say you’re being dramatic.”

"and you’re deflecting. again."

it wasn’t your place to decide whatever the girl was feeling — but maybe you’ve managed to hit the bullseye, because she seemed to flinch. a sigh escaped her lips, and she looked down, biting on her inner cheek. it took her a while to look back at you. "i just really don’t know how to do this."

"do what?”

her voice was barely audible when she began. what a contrast to how she was yelling at the neighbors during the night. "i don’t know how to not ruin it."

no matter what you felt now — it seemed to instantly dilute with something gentler. and no matter how gentle you were — you felt hungry. "you think i know how? Mydei, i wake up in the morning and i swear you’re the first thought in my head. it’s infuriating. you—"

oh no.

your roommate blinked at you, as if you managed to stunt her with your mere words. "[name]—"

"i didn’t mean to say that." you quickly interrupted, cowardice squeezing at your chest.

(it would be safer to back out now, wouldn’t it?)

"but you did."

"yeah. i guess i did."

what happened then was the last thing you expected, but Mydei reached for your hand. it was a tentative move — you deemed to be already past holding back, but your assessment of the situation might have been wrong. after all, how could she suddenly act natural when you’re both tugging at each other’s heart strings? you swallowed thickly, eyes widening when her fingers interlocked through yours. it wasn’t casual. none of it was. whatever you shared, it long stopped resembling a friendship.

her thumb ran across your knuckles. "i think about you too."

it hurt. how terrible it is that she was so close, but felt so faraway. "then say it."

a pause. "how?"

"say anything, Mydei, say anything and i’ll be—" you practically forced out, leaning into her, eyes desperately searching for any sing of mutual longing. you saw it, and when you were sure you’d fall into her embrace, a notorious sound of knocking interrupted your trail of words.

the girl’s previously softened expression rapidly morphed into a scowl — she got up from the chair, going to open the door. you, in exchange, breathed like you were taking in the oxygen for the first time in your life. you were so close. so damn close.

you kept your eyes fixated on the table’s surface, listening to the lock’s click. "what the hell do you want?” resonated Mydei’s frigid voice, and you thought it’s very unusual for her to greet anyone like that.

with a dim curiosity, you looked back, only to see that neighbor who interrupted your sleep. he seemed so small in comparison to your friend, clenching his hand around a box of chocolates. "i wanted to apologize for—"

she shut the door, not letting him finish. you gaped at her, slightly surprised — but maybe it was one of the better options, considering how tightly her fingers formed into a fist. you observed her stand there idly for three more seconds before turning on her heel, and quickly walking out of the room.

what a pain.

——

december eleventh.

time passed faster than you wanted it to. holidays were nearing, and so you busied yourself with various things. the studying sessions got more intense now, and your search for an appropriate gift for Mydei seemed endless.

one day, you walked into her room, seeing a small bag, colorful paper sticking out from it, and a ribbon glued to the side. you asked her if you could see (because your curiosity peaked at that moment), but she sternly refused. it’s a surprise — is what she said, and you had to hold back.

well, anyway. that’s not important.

what is important, is the fact you were going crazy.

as you predicted, none of you touched upon the topic of your near-confession. you could say you were already used to missing out, and pretending you were alright — except this time, things between you did not fall back into place. every single previous situation dissolved after a while, leaving you unsatisfied, but content that nothing really changed. right now, it was awkward, and all the progress you made was gone. okay, maybe not exactly gone — it was buried. hidden away, waiting. for what, you didn’t know, but it drove you insane. you were jumping around like startled hares, pretending not to see the problem blooming between you.

you both reached for the salt — your fingers brushed, and then you were stumbling over your words, apologizing.

her arm accidentally touched against yours when you stood by the kitchen counter — you jolted back, and she mouthed something under her breath.

you wanted to use the bathroom at the same time — you insisted Mydei goes first, and in return, she argued you should go instead of her.

in attempts of keeping your resolve and kindness as persisting, you began to crack once more.

you should consider yourself a lunatic for falling so deeply for a girl who was your roommate, but you couldn’t bear it any longer. the way her lips curled into a smile, and how she brushed stands of hair away from your eyes.

previously, you thought she didn’t like you that way. now you were halfway sure. no, maybe seventy percent sure. after all, she didn’t seem defiant those two weeks ago when you were inches apart from finally confessing. still, complete certainty was still quite far away from you.

in the mornings, Mydei was the first thing you thought of. you always went to search her out, hopping happily to her side as she cut some bread.

during the night, when light was gone, and the world was quiet, you drowned in reveries about the girl — constantly.

how could you tear your eyes away from her, now that you’ve seen her? if you were sunflowers, you’d face Mydei instead of the sun. that’s how far your affections towards her stretched.

and it was dumb. utterly dumb.

"wow, this color is so bright.” you commented, smiling to yourself as your gloved fingers stretched the box dye across your friend’s hair ends.

she complained about how faded the paint was, so you quickly jumped into action, running to the nearest store, and buying the most expensive dye. after that, you offered to do all the work yourself, convincing the girl it would be easier this way. she agreed without much hesitation.

she hummed under her breath. "that’s good. maybe it won’t wash away so soon."

her eyes were glued to the TV, watching some poor christmas comedy. you turned in on just to occupy your minds with some noise, in case you both accidentally slipped into that cave of awkwardness and reluctance. you paused your work, taking a second to watch the film as well. as you thought — it was absolutely cheesy.

you huffed out a small laugh, taking another strand to smother it in intense red. "why are these movies always about a big-city girl falling for a guy who owns a pine lumberyard?"

"capitalist propaganda." Mydei deadpanned.

"you’re so festive." you teased sarcastically, giving a gentle tug to her locks.

she shrugged, her neck bending backwards as if following after your touch. "i’m full of cheer."

"you’re surely full of… something."

your roommate briefly turned her head to look at you from the corner of her golden eye. she was smiling. "you’ve been weird recently, [name]."

here we go again, you thought morosely. "thanks."

"i don’t mean it in a bad way," she corrected, turning her vision back towards the TV, "just… kinda quiet. that’s unlike you."

Mydei was awfully perceptive and smart — but failing to notice how heavy the air between you was as of late would be impossible, even for someone dense. "you’ve been avoiding me."

it’s a good way you were dying her hair, else she’d probably spring out from the chair, and give you a bitter look. "no, i haven’t—"

"yes, you have." you forced out against all your wits, tired of the countless conversations you had about this specific topic. it was like an endless circle, with both of you chasing after each other, and finding yourself in the same spot.

a sigh. "maybe. i guess… i didn’t know where we stood. after that.”

you scooped another portion of red on your fingers, running them over the blonde. "neither did i."

she chuckled dryly, crossing her arms over her chest. perhaps it’s a good thing you couldn’t see her face now. "so we both just stopped talking. like cowards."

“like cowards." you repeated, nodding to yourself.

you knew Mydei despised people who ran away from the consequences — those who cowered in fear, afraid of meeting with the truth. you did too, but then silence fell over you, and neither of you spoke again. so you shall remain as cowards.

after waiting for about twenty minutes, Mydei went to wash her hair. you followed in tow, like a stray dog begging for a bone. she sent you a curious glance, cocking one eyebrow at you.

"what?"

“want me to rinse the dye off?”

(could you get any stupider than that? surely).

you wholeheartedly expected her to chase you away, but the girl tilted her head to the side, lips stretching upwards in inconspicuous assessment.

"…okay. since you wanna be so helpful today."

your whole body seemed to breathe out with relief at her agreement. you happily waited until she bent over the bathtub’s edge, reaching for the handheld shower. you let the water run through her hair, streaks of red painting the white ceramic. the hum of it caused your thoughts to cease for a brief moment. if you could, you’d stay like that forever — except soon your back will start to hurt from being hunched over, and Mydei will certainly complain along.

you put the hose away, lathering your hands in shampoo. your fingers interwoven in her locks, patiently washing away the remnants of dye. it was quiet. it was good.

your eyes briefly flickered upwards, catching on the darkened sky through the small window above. it was snowing. you didn’t say anything — and then you thought how much you detest december.

you turned the water back on, rinsing the foamy soap. once you were done, Mydei straightened out, thanking you quietly. you handed her a towel.

both of you dragged your feet towards her room, and you didn’t know why you followed after her still, but you did. she didn’t comment on your actions, which was a relief.

she seated herself on the edge of the bed, hairdryer working loudly as she blew her locks dry. you almost leaned into her side, relishing in the warm air, and how close you were. your legs were hooked around each other, tangled, like snakes in their den.

and when your friend turned it off, you grinned at her, proud of how skillfully you managed to paint her hair (even though it was your first time).

"wow, you look nice!" you complimented, but then again, was there ever a time when she didn’t?

Mydei reached for her phone, opening the camera to look at the final result. "indeed. you chose a nice shade." she smiled back at you.

"uh, so…" you began, afraid of slipping back into that uncomfortable silence between you. you didn’t know what to say, but you were desperate to uphold the conversation.

"anyway, [name]," Mydei interrupted, and you were thankful for it, "wanna see the gift i brought for you?"

you blinked at her with surprise. "but didn’t you say it was supposed to be a…?"

she waved her hand dismissively, stretching her arm to its full extent, and reached for the bag sitting on the floor. "yeah, but i can give it to you now. i’m sure you’re more than curious."

"can’t deny that." you chuckled, observing as she set the thing by your thigh. you sent her the last questioning look, seeing if she will change her mind.

"don’t be shy." the girl coerced, and so, you reached into the bag.

your fingers met with something hard, its shape resembling a rather small box. you carefully took it out, and when you saw the letters engraved atop, your jaw slacked to the ground.

it was the same luxurious brand of Mydei’s jewelry — the exact same one you searched up some weeks ago, baffled by the absurdly high prices. your eyebrows narrowed together, thinking it was a joke, and once you open it you’ll meet with nothing.

upon seeing your bewildered expression, she giggled. how can she be giggling at a time like this?! "c’mon, go ahead."

slowly, you pried the box open, your eyes widening at the sight of a ring — it remained dainty while having that classy air around it, and you gawked at Mydei like a fool. it must have been expensive. hell, expensive’s definition probably doesn’t cover half of the money spent on it!

"no way…" you muttered, your vision flickering back to the ring. "it’s— it’s so beautiful, but i… how could i accept it?"

she shrugged, taking the thing away from you, and pulling the ring out of cushioned box. "it would be impolite to refuse a gift.”

you nodded stiffly, eyebrows still knitted together, as if you were in some kind of a real emotional distress. why would she buy you something like this?

your breath hitched when Mydei tugged your palm closer, carefully slipping the jewelry on. "see? it looks nice." she smiled at you kindly, and you thought your heart might shatter from the sheer force it drummed with.

"yeah, it does." you admitted meekly, looking at the way light reflected off of it. “but i still don’t understand…"

"what do you not understand?"

"i— i’m not deserving of such gifts—“ you stammered, running your tongue over your teeth nervously, "i can’t, i just—"

her joints suddenly curled around yours, and she pulled you towards her. at this point, the whole ground might just open up, and devour you. “[name], do you seriously think i go around buying my friends pricey stuff?"

your irises flied away from Mydei’s face, but her free hand caught your jaw, forcing you to look at her. you swallowed harshly. "maybe…?"

she huffed out an exasperated sigh, probably barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes. "no, i do not. but… you’re different. and that’s why i gave it to you."

the rope tying you both seemed to tighten impossibly hard, and you were sure you heard the creaks of it.

when no meaningful words found their way out of you, she continued. "do you remember when you called me your favorite person?" she asked, and then you thought there’s no running from it now. you were doomed — or perhaps salvaged.

"yes." you answered, unable to keep your gaze away from her comely features.

"well," she began, leaning a bit closer, “you’re my favorite person too."

before you even knew it, Mydei’s lips connected with yours. it knocked the oxygen out of your lungs — but it felt different from what you’ve shared during halloween. it was not fueled by the fleeting fancy or impulse.

it was giving. tender. almost evocative in its nature — ripe and soft, just like the sweet flesh of an apple in full-bloom. the fingers of your unoccupied hand found their way onto the girl’s shoulder, and you couldn’t hold your body back from practically pushing into hers.

you couldn’t believe it was happening. your covets were so nigh for all this time — and now, they finally came true.

she must have liked you. if she didn’t, she certainly wouldn’t be kissing you like that — like you were made out of the finest porcelain. her hand wouldn’t be caressing the back of your head, and you would not be able to feel how hard her heart hammered, threatening to rip through her breast.

when you pulled away, chest burning from the lack of air, Mydei let go of you. her gaze was unsure, but it quickly eased into something less restrained upon your mesmerized look.

"let’s not run away from it anymore, alright?” she almost pleaded, brushing the unruly strands of hair away from your temple.

you immediately nodded, lips stretching into a grin so wide, your whole cheeks began to hurt. "let’s not."

her muscular arms wrapped around you, and you chuckled to yourself, embracing her back. with the touch — your forehead resting in the crook of Mydei’s neck, and her fingertips brushing across your waist — the ache from your body seeped away. it was strained from constantly sprinting, acting as if you were chased by a pack of bloodhounds. but now the pain was gone.

——

december twentieth.

you held onto the girl’s hand tightly, burying your nose in the warm scarf when another sting of coldness caught your face. snow was falling from the sky relentlessly, covering the whole ground with a blanket of whiteness.

another train passed by, its loud horn startling you slightly. she glanced at you, snickering at your sudden jolt. you sent her a lighthearted glare.

currently, you were standing on the platform, waiting for her train. when Mydei told you she was going away for the holidays, you felt as if someone stabbed you — after all, you just managed to finally stabilize your relationship.

you asked why, because obviously, she wasn’t going to visit her father. she then proceeded to vaguely explain something about her mother, that she needed to see her, and talk to her. you inquired if she’s willing to introduce you to her — she merely nodded, sending you a small smile. only later you found out that her mother passed away when the girl was only two years old.

it was a crushing revelation, but Mydei didn’t seem particularly moved by how you began to weep. she simply wiped your tears, saying not to grieve in her stead — but how could you not? upon your vivid sadness, Mydei promised to bring back albums from home, and show you what her mother looked like. then, she offered to visit her during summer, and that was enough to placate your shaken emotions.

there was still so much you did not know about her. just how much sorrow and woe must she carry on daily basis? what kind of shape her thoughts take when she has to deal with the hardships fate placed on her shoulders? how does she prevail?

you wanted to be the first person she reached out to when life got tough. from what little you deduced, Mydei’s existence was never easy. you wanted to be there for her, no matter what — so you squeezed her hand now, knowing she’ll have to face her megalomaniac father soon, and share a meal with him. if you could, you’d hop on that train with her — alas, she probably wouldn’t agree.

another horn tore you away from your grim reveries, and you glanced at the train, Mydei’s hometown on its display.

"here it is." she announced, walking closer to the yellow line. you followed in her step.

"are you—” you began in a hasty manner, watching as a multitude of passengers spilled from the car, "are you sure you’ll be fine?”

she chuckled, letting go of your palm to adjust your scarf. "yeah, everything’s gonna be okay."

you nodded, smiling weakly when she leaned in to kiss you. her lips felt warm against yours. "call me when you get there."

"sure." she nodded, planting her foot on the train’s step. "i’ll see you in a week."

you waved at her, feeling at how uncomfortably your guts clenched. the girl tugged her suitcase up in one swift move, now hugged closely by all the other people walking in and out, steadily disappearing between their silhouettes.

"Mydei," you called over the clamor, catching her attention, "i love you!"

you observed her turn her head towards you, golden eyes widening before the door closed. it was the first time you ever mustered up those words. your heart clenched, dejected by how she didn’t even say it back. when the train moved, you were ready to walk away — but then, one of the windows snapped open, the familiar flury of blonde hair peeking out.

"i love you too, [name]!" she yelled, a grin plastered across her face. the train’s wheels pushed forwards faster now, causing her locks to billow around, tousled by the wind.

a surprised gasp left your mouth. you ran after the large machine, laughing along with Mydei as she pushed the strands obscuring her vision. your legs burned, and now you were sprinting after the girl — not away from her. once you could no longer keep up, you finally stopped, completely out of breath, and smiling like a love-struck fool.

no matter if she’s not by your side — there’s always going to be a home for her in your heart. you’ll leave the lights on.

[dragonidpyrus12]

God, I remember when I was little, we had two distinct classes during elementary year 3-4, which got repurposed a few years later. One was something... it was design, but not. I vividly remember we had a task to draw our house but in a building sort of sense, like you see on blueprints. Amazing class, would love to see it make a comeback.

The other was a civic class. And we had a philosophy class in high school too, but it didn't really hit where it should. I don't really remember much from it unfortunately, but it did mention our right to vote and why and how we earned it, for kids obviously. But the fact it got taken out, in my region, of the learning process is really telling.

I'm so glad you have been so lucky. In a sense, one of my parents would sort of say "yeah voting is important", but that doesn't usually motivate me, in any situation. Also one of my classmates wanted to become a teacher as well, I've heard some of her discussions with our headmaster/diriginte, so I know what you mean about that module!

Goodness... Honestly, the state of this information is just heartbreaking like you said... I've also heard from many teachers over the years, my teachers, that a lot of the information is just... too much, not needed, and outdated.

Oh my god, that sounds horrifying. There's very little actually acceptance for... different ideas in our society, especially when it comes to the communist movies or actual history. Many (not all) middle-aged people don't even BELIEVE about things that Russia did to our country and our people, let alone all the way back to Dacians.

Also side-note, can I find info on the research online or is it just in research groups specifically? I'm curious, sorry!

It's so sad that, in order to actually understand what happened with the Iron Guard, you either have to bump into it online and be curious enough to look into it, or you have to go to uni. I haven't gotten to uni, but at least I'm glad you actually learn more about it there. And yeah, it's hard to call them anything other than monsters...

I've always felt that everything is kind of... all over the place. You don't really have a direction, and yeah they kinda slack off big time. Not to mention that religion classes eventually become Opt-in (or opt-out, I forgot), but at that point there's not... really much you learn there. No offense to anyone else, but that's what it felt like to me.

Man... I remember when I was bullied for wanting to know more, or for becoming better. I didn't like English in particular, took a really bad grade, cried about it and then I learned to love English thanks to YGO. Once I got better, the bullies of the class liked to pick on me even more than usual, that I was one of those "know it alls" now. That just made me more stubborn.

I can probably say I grew up in the Iohannis "Educated Romania" regime. I can DEFINITELY say I have 0 fucking clue what the hell to do now. Like the school didn't prepare me for the real world, and it also didn't give me great knowledge, and I acknowledge that and I'm always open to learning for because of it. I also have short memory, so that might have a play in it.

But I had to learn the things that I have from online sources as a result. And I had to comb through online sources to make sure the information is refutable.

Younger generations? I'm even scared to think about them. The pandemic also brought out more evidently the issues the education system has and made a lot of people indifferent to any sort of education as a whole.

Agreed on the results if there will be investing in education at all. You don't get these results in a few years, you get them over the span of a generation or two.

Yeah... Yeah it's ever since communism fell. Nothing major changed, there only patches in a structure that was outdated and outright wrong at times.

Funny you should say that, avem si noi genetica in programa! Dar e la stiinte ale naturi (si in programa de BAC, poti da ori la plante, animale si ecologie, ori la anatomie si genetica). Probabil la alte profile se repeta alta materie din anii trecuti.

Foreigners in the replies of posts regarding Romania; I regret to inform you the extremist candidate loss was not in anyway related to America's current situation.

Has Trump been brought up? Yes, but from what I've seen, in that manner at least, it was mostly in progressive circles that would have already voted just fine

This was entirely our own hubris and doing

Simion's number 1 mistake was threatening our place in EU and NATO, the two best things to have happened to this godforsaken country in ever

Simion's number 2 mistake was threatening our democracy in a country with generational trauma the likes of which westerners cannot begin to comprehend

[dallina17]

Neither like nor dislike: Attraction

A JinMao LN1 analysis

So I was supposed to write this after reading the apothecary diaries light novel 1 but life happened and I already finished the second one. Still, I wanted to write this. I have seen plenty of fight over if MaoMao likes Jinshi or not. I kinda understand where they both are coming from. Because yes, MaoMao doesn't like whenever Jinshi gets too close to her in many instances, both the light novel and the anime.

—The apothecary diaries, Season 1 Episode 1

Gaoshun politely fetched any medicines that were in drawers too high for Maomao to reach. His superior, meanwhile, did nothing. Maomao maintained a neutral expression but privately wished that if he wasn’t going to make himself useful, he would go away.

—The apothecary diaries LN 1 - Chapter 8, Love Potion.

—The apothecary diaries, Season 1 Episode 2

After Consort Lishu had withdrawn, Maomao sensed an almost viscous atmosphere behind her, and finally felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned a cold look on the hand’s owner; it would have been better had she looked at him the way she might look at an earthworm.

“I am but base, and wish you would not touch me.” In less elegant words: Screw off.

—The Apothecary diaries LN 1 - Chapter 19, After the Festivities

-The apothecary diaries, Season 1 Episode 6

That’s right... I forgot he’s one of those types. She tried giving him a crushing look, as if he were a small, brown rat, but it was having the opposite of the effect she wanted.

—The Apothecary diaries LN 1 - Chapter 27, Honey (Part Two)

—The apothecary diaries, Season 1 Episode 3

While MaoMao is an unreliable narrator (girl what do you mean you feel no love when you are one of the sweetest girls I have ever seen), here her reactions are not limited to thoughts of "I do not wish to be near him. I would rather not have any relationship with him" which could be a greater indicator of unreliable narration, instead, her thoughts are backed up with actions and, most importantly, physical reactions, which are harder to pretend, specially the later. The way she gets chills because of him touching her? Well, this can have a couple reasons worth exploring on it's own analysis but we can say she is not comfortable with him getting too close.

Yet, she is not indifferent to him. Chapter after chapter, we see Maomao describing Jinshi in an unique, beautiful way, which she only does when describing Jinshi. Neither of the characters she describes the way she does with Jinshi.

Lets see how she describes Jinshi when she meets him for the first time.

This had to be the immensely beautiful eunuch of whom she had heard so much. He had hair as fine as silk, an almost liquid presence, almond-shaped eyes, and eyebrows that evoked willow branches. A heavenly nymph on a picture scroll could not have competed with him for loveliness.

—The Apothecary diaries LN 1 - Chapter 4, The Nymph's Smile

She uses a lot of metaphors which yes, Maomao is someone that loves describing with metaphors, but she is super descriptive of Jinshi in this part. Her description vivid and ends stating that something from Heaven itself is not match for Jinshi's beauty.

Now lets see how she describes Lihaku, which is the only other man aside from Jinshi and Gaoshun she gets to know.

Maomao looked up to discover a virile-looking man giving her an ingratiating smile. He was still young, and had no beard. He looked manly enough as far as it went.

—The Apothecary diaries LN 1 - Chapter 18, The Garden Party (Part Three).

There is no metaphors, no vivid descriptions, no comparisons or saying how beautiful he is. Just plain, straight facts.

Now, we could argue that Jinshi is canonically more attractive than Lihaku and that's why Jinshi's description is more vivid, which totally, but for me there is also something deliberate in the way Maomao describes Jinshi versus when she describes Lihaku.

She goes to every part of Jinshi's face. She plays attention to his hair, his eyebrows, his eyes, his presence. Jinshi has her attention and that's why she analyzes him in this detailed way.

While Lihaku, one brief look, a few comments and she is over with the matter. Of course, he doesn't have her attention, Lihaku is just some guy more.

There is no attention. No interest.

No attraction.

I think that if for Maomao stating Jinshi's beauty was just a "matter of fact", her descriptions would be something like Lihaku's, straight facts, just like she is with everyone else. But not only the way she describes Jinshi is different from everyone else, almost everytime (if not always) she sees Jinshi, she has a unique way to describe him.

Here are some of my favs.

Smile as sweet as ambrosia (chapter 4)

His gorgeous smile suggested he wouldn’t hurt a flea (chapter 5)

Maomao met the man’s smile, lovely as a peony blossom, with studious indifference (chapter 10) (by far my favorite)

The sparkle that lit in Maomao’s eyes at that word wasn’t lost on Jinshi. A naughty bit of satisfaction entered his lovely smile (chapter 10)

His voice was as sweet as a fruit liqueur (chapter 10) (my second favorite)

What terrible news,” Consort Gyokuyou said, her face darkening. Standing before her, Jinshi’s heavenly countenance was likewise troubled (chapter 25)

The needling comment came from an all-too-familiar, heavenly voice (chapter 26)

Come evening, that loveliest of eunuchs appeared, as ever (chapter 27)

Everytime she sees Jinshi she can't help but say how gorgeous-lovely-heavenly the man is. And she works in the palace for ten months, one could expect to get used to Jinshi's beauty and stop describing him but... she doesn't, time after time, Maomao says how beautiful he is.

And other people? They don't have her interest at all. She doesn't give them a second thought. This are the inner thoughts of Maomao, hard to show in the anime, but obvious in the light novel. She doesn't like Jinshi, but there is something in him that attracts Maomao a lot, or she wouldn't describe him the way she does.

Attraction doesn't necessarily mean you like someone. For me liking means you want to try something with that person, get to know them more, see where the relationship go, there is a closer level of intimacy. And I won't debate you, at this moment Maomao absolutely doesn't like Jinshi, she is not interested in having something with him at all.

But saying she dislikes him is also not true, for there is something that catches her interest.

Attraction is that there is something about the person that you are interested in and gets your attention. Have you ever watched someone walk on the street and say "wow, they are beautiful" and then you continue walking? That is attraction, even for a brief moment. But most of the time we don't go, ask for that person's number, get to know them and try something with them, which would be liking. Attraction can lead to a dance, a kiss, a night together, with not necessarily becoming something else.

And I don't think that attraction is something "objective". For there is something so personal that there has to be something about the other that you desire. If they don't have something that is appealing to you, they simply don't have it. Doesn't ever happened to you that everyone says that some person is so beautiful and you can't see it? Because that person doesn't have the qualities that catch your interest.

But Jinshi does have Maomao's interest.

She just is not going to do that anything with it.

For now.