#i forgot what i was talking about bye
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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago
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if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying
(Wolverine (2020) #3)
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#magneto#ok fine logan can get a tag too. this IS his story after all ja/lkLAJVEAVKLJ#wolverine#snap scans#i should read the rest of this run but its like 47 issues i think so. gonna take some time with that#spliced up the panels so its easier to look at everything. and so i can frame drunk passed out erik on my wall#someone uploaded some of the first page some time ago but 1.) i forgot to rb it 2.) it didnt include the rest of the scene#it ESP didnt include erik fallin face first on the table and his lil sleepin face on the next page like please im gettin cuteness aggressio#im so miffed that these are printed on the same page cause i woulda framed this spread otherwise like PLEASE#this shit got me GIGGLING SO BAD i cant. 'dare i say it .......' he's so unnecessary i love him so much#he's so silly ..... also someone said it best in that whenever erik's drawn like a bug it's the best thing#like look at him. that's a beetle. that's my little beetle and i love him i need to put him in a terrarium and watch him#honestly theres a LOT of things i have scanned and wanna share however i have to do it. Reasonably so to speak#in that i dont want to accidentally drown out all my doodling with comic scans jvEALKVJEAKL#maybe i'll do it sandwich style ... art -> scan -> art -> scan etc etc#that does remind me i have a doodle i wanted to do today. so maybe ill do that and share another thing i got scanned ....#unfortunately i do very much love reading the comics. a troublesome thing cause theres so much i wanna share and talk about#like from this issue too i love how hank describes what charles' mutation feels like#its not a grand thing but i love it whenever charles' telepathy is described and how it effects him physiologically#maybe hank was just Theorizing what it feels like but still ... i love that insight so much .....#i'll share that quote another time- i prob won't scan the page cause it's just a text log but i will say it was from here dont worry#ok ive rambled long enough BYE im gonna go draw charles
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iloveacronix · 6 months ago
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Doodles of my bbgs before I sleep. @yourlocalkitkat GOT ME INTO THE HETEROCHROMIA HC FOR CYRUS💪😈
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Also some random pics of Kit and I playing the goofy ninjago roblox game and pony town together(for once the ninjago area was PACKED)
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IM CYRUS AND THEY'RE ACRONIX ON RBLX, ON PT IM KRUX AND THEY'RE CYRUS. THEN IM CYRUS TOO...💀💀
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torgawl · 8 months ago
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instead of just cross eyes and star eyes distinguishing dynasties in khaenri'ah, why do some khaenri'ahns cover one eye specifically? there’s many things that seem interconnected regarding the lore:
crimson moon turning around to look like an eye; irmin the one-eyed king; the unknown god’s cubes containing eyes in their design (same ones present in the cataclysm as well as the crimson moon), her glitching looking like arlecchino’s, and the four pointed star pattern that appeared when she showed up to the twins; forbidden knowledge and nibelung’s influence; fischl's auge der verurteilung aka eye of condemnation (crimson eye) and her skin's description "o holiest of sovereigns, high princess of immernachtreich (kingdom of evernight)!".
kaeya's note about the alberich saying "i saved this one memento from the fire 'father' made while he wasn’t paying attention. this was in violation of our principles. our clan's affairs should never be recorded" and "though we could not restore khaenri'ah to life, we of the alberich clan should lead lives as those who blaze like fire, rather than those who wallow in the embers [small piece of burning or glowing coal or wood in a dying fire]", father being in quotation marks and references to fire and ashes; the orphanage in khaenri'ah that wanted to house children from destroyed worlds and non-threats that leaked into the kingdom, in hopes of finding beings from beyond the sky who could transcend the gods; perinheri's first memory being transversing something like a chimney, filled with ash and being asked if he wasn't dead just for him to see the eye (crimson moon) and being told he was reborn; dust and the blood of of dragons (or dragon-like beings like durin and elynas) being connected to rhinedottir and the art of khemia; fire as rebirth and life but also, the balemoon blood specifically being connected to loss of memories and loss of memory being equivalent to death (not physical);  despite the orphanage never being able to find that transcendal person, it had many unusual individuals who became knights of the kingdom.
irmin as the first divine halberd (that once pierced the axis mundi [cosmic/world axis, world pillar, center of the world, world tree, etc.] and connected the nine worlds), the prinzessin der verurteilungas (fischl) as the last one; fischl and kaeya comparing themselves to one another and their parallels to irmin and odin; der ring des nibelungen, in which the dwarf (or nibelung) alberich creates a ring capable of controlling the world, using gold he stole from the rhinemaidens (or rheintöchter "rhine-daughters"). the conflict that arises over the ownership of this ring eventually leads to the destruction of the gods and their home, valhalla.
irminsul (irmin + sul) meaning great pillar and being a reference to the yggdrasil, the tree that supports the universe; the description of the item silver twig – collected in the center of the world - talking about a sage that hanged himself upside down in the irminsul tree to gain knowledge of the runes and the cosmos, then going into a secret kingdom down its roots [also a reference to hanged man in tarot that symbolizes wisdom, divination, sacrifice, prophecy, etc.]; odin who hung himself upside down from the sacred world tree, yggdrasil, for nine days and nights sacrificing his eye and throwing himself on his spear (gungir) as a ritual sacrifice in order to obtain secret wisdom; memories, fire and crimson moon hand in hand with the irminsul, king irmin and the concept of fate; the fake sky, the stars and being able to see fate but also fate being a means of the heavenly principles to control the world (neuvillette calling it puppet strings); khaenri'ah, a supposed godless nation but the crimson moon dynasty revering the moon (and hilichurls worshiping istaroth); the crimson moon having an eye on humanity and always being present associated with punishment and destruction (fall of gurabad, remuria and the catclysm).
crimson moon's semblance (arlecchino’s weapon) implying the crimson moon sought vengeance (“few survived the utter destruction of their kind, hiding in the shadows where the sun did not shine, longing for the crimson moon to decree their desire for vengeance be repaid”); the design of the weapon and arlecchino’s boss attacks resembling the double helix present in deathly statuette material dropped by abyss heralds, abyss lectors and shadowy husks, which has a single red eye. it apparently whispers "see, my child. all that lies under the throne of heaven shall be destroyed by upheaval. the eternal peace of the pitch-dark void shall embrace us all.” as you gaze at it.
the abyss order being founded by chlothar alberich and pierro being the first harbinger; the "sinner" – the crystal in chains from the chasm, protected by an abyss herald - not being a god but still worshipped by the abyss order. the voice stating to chlothar and the traveler’s twin that he "[knows their] fate well" and urged them to become a "transcendent one" saying he would "shed a tear at the end of time... as i gaze back upon your life". he also imbued chlothar with the power of the abyss, which alleviated his worsening conditions. the “sinner” refered to chlothar as “dear creature”; dainsleif, pierro and kaeya being examples of khaenriahns who hide their right eye; dainsleif being called “bough keeper”, bough is a branch of a tree, but also his constellation being a snake ring like ouroboros – representing the eternal renewal cycle of life, death and rebirth; the loom of fate being an operation of the abyss order first encountered during "a herald without adherents" quest.
“the threads of your fate lie in my hands” a quote by fischl connecting to the weaves of fate; fischl stating that if she does not obtain the divine halberd “...this world and everything in it is going to burn in hellfire” (legend of the shattered halberd vol. ii). some other excerpts of the book also include: “but unbeknownst to him, this was the greatest cursed sword of all, that had once burned the entire world to cinders: laevatain [in norse mythology, a weapon crafted by loki and the only capable of defeating the cockerel viðofnir, inhabiting the top of yggdrasil], the sword had extinguished after the world was burned, but... it burned bright once more. ‘the whole world... destroyed again...’ weiyang [fischl] fell unconscious as she spoke” (vol. iv), and, "the world is beyond repair. it shall be born anew from the ashes of the last” (vol. vi); dainsleif saying “none will escape the flames. see for yourself” but also neuvillette’s character story including “the puppet strings glossed as "divine rules" would one day be burned away by the fires of judgment” when talking about constellations; burning away the old world, project stuzha by the fatui and the image of dottore burning the irminsul; nahida saying fontaine's prophecy was engraved in the irminsul, implying the tree also contains the history of the future; sibylla, a prophetess who guarded the irminsul in an ancient city located in what later became the high seas (referred to as abyssal depths). she sacrificed her life for the sake of creating phobos, remus' grand symphony, but her lack of a will ultimately caused the project to fail, as her vague desire to "grant happiness to all in the world who are called humans" caused phobos to attempt to satisfy everyone's desires — including destructive and selfish ones — and set remuria towards the course of its self-destruction (possibly tying concepts of will and fate together); thinking of dottore's plan, it would make sense to burn the tree that holds memories with a fire able to erase them (arlecchino's balemoon powers) so that the world can be born anew breaking away from the shackles of fate.
there’s also the improvisation kaeya does during the play in his hangouts. "do you believe in fate? if fate decreed your life was to end in tragedy, what would you do?". he then throws a prop and we interact, choosing if we would face our fate bravely or challenge it and rise above it. kaeya then goes on saying "then so must it be! yes, so must it be! i shall discard this intaglio and rid myself of the shackles of fate", "fate means to send the machinations of war to every corner of the land to fan the flames of conflict till they ungulf the entire world… fate would see my sword tainted with the blood of innocents, that the bright banner of my homeland might fly in every nation known to mankind. but i shall not bow to the will of fate i am no pawn in heaven’s plan. i, qubad, will spend the rest of my days in a foreign land, 'till i breathe my last in a place far from home" and finishes the play with "but i must walk this path, or freedom dies by my hand. goodbye, my tribe and kin. farewell, sweet land of my birth". the prop we get from kaeya, the intaglio, symbolizes the noble origins of prince qubad in the play and the blood-red jewel (blood, red... funny, uh?) is said to be a crystallization of the question kaeya asked us about destiny. furthermore, an intaglio can be a type of engraved gem or metal signet ring.
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cloudystevie · 6 months ago
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bridgerton season 3 sucked absolute ass
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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skrunksthatwunk · 29 days ago
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really fun letting all of my favorite shows take turns being the "i can't think about it i can't think about it i can't think about it!!" bingewatch during finals season/associated crunch times. they're being inducted into a society
#so i watched s1 of the funny ballet show. AGAIN like i think this has literally happened in this context before#'oh man i have so much to do for today and i can't skip woahh' (watches 4.3 hours of ducky content)#not the only unproductive thing i did this weekend. there were several#anyway gonna keep this brief for obvious reasons but gahhh i love the funny ballet show#idk how i keep forgetting how cute ahiru is. like her slapstick in the first few eps is way more prominent#and i just like it!!!! shes a silly goose!!!!!!!(duck) and i like her very much she's great#rue's stepping into kraehe's shoes (literally) For Real On Purpose stemming from wanting things to stay the same forever. aughh#like mytho's her one escape from it all he's the one thing/person she feels safe with#and to stick to something stagnant and loveless just so she can have someone to project those feelings onto who won't leave is. gahhhh#i also always forget how much i love rue like. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY#i wish mytho changed more with each shard but it's always fun to see how the prev episode's shard affects the next when it happens#which is decently often#early fakir's comedically evil toxic bf thing is still shocking to me. they turn him around so fast and it starts when mytho regains fear#imo. once mytho can Undeniably Suffer the negative effects of fakir's treatment he can't quite bring himself to do it#fakir resorting to these awful authoritarian abusive ways of keeping mytho under his control bc he's desperate and scared and overwhelmed#is like. augh hes so interesting to me. night and day swap though it's crazy how much work those like 4 episodes before akt 12 do for him#anyway. i love it it's great it's always great. comfort show indeed + i gotta get back to work now + bye#no but fakir doubles and quadruples down on never budging on his treatment of mytho bc again hes scared but also i think it's a little like#he suppresses all his feelings so he doesn't lose control over mytho and justifies it with mytho's lack of feeling#when he tells mytho to forget about it and that emotions are useless and stupid he's talking to himself too y'know#i think there's a squishy sentimental part of him he tried very hard to crush out of himself to better protect mytho (from himself + tutu#+ the raven etc) and once it's clear (though not immediately) that mytho has feeling and a will to regain his heart he starts helping him#he embodies warped devotion and loyalty as much as rue and similarly to tutu. fakir and rue devalue their own and mytho's feelings#while ahiru only devalues her own. her brand of self sacrifice is something to be challenged and overcome in the same way#but shes able to start all this because she cares about what mytho's feelings Would/Could be > what they currently are (nothing)#ANYWAY. good show. i forgot about the greenscreened in/obvious live action effect fire/fog in a couple episodes that was funny
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raspberryzingaaa · 1 year ago
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Thinking about going to World Most Boring Bible Study Ever. Idk yall. Idk. Idek.
#the number of times i have faked a call yo leave early. the number of times ive played solitaire on my phone. i got to the potty to kill tim#like! just answer questions its not that hard!!!!!!#you dont even need to be right just throw some spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks!#also group leaders stop reading questions from a script from your phone#ALSO PLEASE CAN WE STOP GOING THROUGH THE SAME VERSES WE GO THROUVH ON SUNDAYS#this is why we have a split in our life group/church crowdm just sayin#i just. i just miss doing bible studys with people who were way smarter than me#being a church kid in a college church is just 👁👄👁#i shpuldnt be dreading going to bible study!!!!!!#so its probably a me problem right?!#and also the group leaders have had to tell me to stfu more than once (politely. which was really annoying. dont pussyfoot around!!)#also our only bible study is also our ~only space for new comers~ so i get in trouble if i get too meaty in my excitements and theology#EHICH SHOJLDNT BE MY FAULT!!!!!!!#and YEAH it IS my fault that its my only spot where im spiritually feeding. but also there is a secret eomens group people mention that..#i guess im just excluded from? but also i know most of the women dont like me bc I have interminable Doesnt Shut Up Disease l#like i understand fhat yes it is a little my fault rhat me talking about deep theology makes them feel inadequate but also THAT SHOULDNT BE#guh. i also forgot my meds today so im a little bit more mulish and hard hearted#and i KNOW its a teachable moment amd God is usimg this to temper me or something else but im feelimg grumblr#and ill probably delete this later.#and i have to got to work ok bye
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lightfulonion · 9 months ago
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thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!
last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway
youtube
fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)
currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.
currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!
spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3
relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.
current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )
tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…
there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan
#snap chats#i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again#jo's prob a contender tho. tbh.#anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie#first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself#does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace#good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍‍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD#i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭#last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been......#wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE#whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already#on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already#ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color#o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck.#watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how.#AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game#what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that#heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it#highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him..#honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years#def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit#like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL#sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL#im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3#im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....
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roimp · 1 year ago
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tried to explain to hands guy how to use tumblr
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bubaboos · 2 years ago
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a tragedy: couldn't fit a nap in my schedule
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exopelagic · 24 days ago
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DND IS SO FUCKING COOL
#played my first session!! my friend rlly wanted to dm a session he’s been planning for weeks so we did it!! and holy FUCK#can I. play more game pls#I made a character extremely last minute and showed up with a druid who thought we were in a Very different kind of story#he thought this was fun adventure journey of self discovery and I am going to minimise details#bc I know at least one of the other players is on tumblr#but anyway dm hits us with like children in danger and people being tortured and seeing your friends die and holy FUCK#and that changes a character!! instantly!! and it was so cool to experience that shift#like Oh this is what it feels like to be about to die#the dm was also honestly like. playing into a bunch of normal fantasy tropes and it makes you realise More how fucked they are#also as predicted playing a druid is so insanely fun#I love spellcasting actually and ALSO predictably control spells are so fun. there was a chase scene for my character specifically that#probably was Not meant to happen I just turned out to have misty step and entangle and sleep which Really helps#can’t believe I forgot about hiding with wild shape but I think that would’ve actually broken the dms plan entirely.#GOD I wanna play more dnd#this may or may not become a regular thing and I Really hope it does bc I’m obsessed with my friend’s character#and this group had such a fun vibe#will see what happens!! gonna talk to the dm abt it later#devastating that I’m now going home and won’t be able to play at all until the new year + there straight up just isn’t time before I leave#I could potentially plan a session on like. Tuesday but that would be insane and I now have greater doubts abt dming#I am truly not the same guy I was at the start of this term and I don’t know if I could do that anymore. will think abt it!#dnd tag#I was ALSO right in thinking I’d be frustrated by warlock 2 spell slots bc resource scarcity brain was chafing at 6#OH and the moral calculations I had to do in the scenario the dm put together were So interesting. you learn shit about your character#+ also yourself#ANYWAY IM DONE TYPING IF ONE OF THE OTHER PLAYERS SAW THIS NO YOU DIDNT PLS KEEP SCROLLING LOVE YOU BYE <3
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doggirlbuck · 29 days ago
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sometimes i feel like mm maybe i dont GET these characters as well as other people do im just sort of along for the ride. and then i will see someone say something and think Oh well at least im not That far gone......
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milo-is-rambling · 7 months ago
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Weight talk tw I guess idk how to describe the post sorry im a little high
It’s so weird being around people who talk about weight problems (IOP) and like idk it brings up weird shit in my brain almost anxiety that I should feel bad about myself somehow like I’m doing this wrong being confident idk. Weird self doubt thing that happens when you’ve loved yourself (hmm. Rephrase. I don’t care about being fat. let’s say that.) and then you’re in a room full of people having a group discussion about how they avoid living their life in happy ways because they don’t want to become like you. But you love yourself. But everyone in your life since you were little has been dieting and talking about weight and specific numbers (someone was anxious about gaining seven pounds! SEVEN. If they saw my scale they would shit themselves. I put on seven pounds taking a big bong rip Jesus fucking Christ seven pounds. I wanted to rip my hair out.)
Next time weight issues come up in IOP I’m stepping out of the room. Like idk how to explain it cause it’s like not a trigger but I guess it is ? But it’s just so weird like the way I’m triggered makes me want to cry why does the world hate me for being fat what the fuck !!!!
#me when I gain weight issues through thinking about my own body in a group setting#ughhh#whatever fuck it#taking an anxiety med chavas at work Levi’s on a train (EXCITED!!!!) I’m gonna take my little sedative friend and try to take a nap bc six#and a half hours after the last two days I’ve had is fucking nothing. going to nap city will fix me.#also taking my morning med. I haven’t done that yet I need to eat *stares into camera* to take my meds gahhhh I hate having a human form an#intestines just take the med with one cracker and not get sick what the fuck body I’m so sick of heart burn I want to burn down the world#and now that I’ve had a med increase I get fucking withdrawal symptoms if I miss a morning dose which I found out bc I left my meds at home#accidentally on Monday when I was so overtired and forgot to put them back in my bag for IOP (cause they have food at IOP so I take them#there once I’ve eaten) and then I had a headache for like half of the day and I was so overtired I was crying on the drive home cause I#wanted to sleep so bad and then I got home and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up even on the sleep meds until I talked to kath and she#calmed me down just existing the little sweetheart god I love her okay anyways babble over I’m very overtired and a little cranky and my#brother has been in a very bitchy mood recently idk what’s got him on edge but everything is setting him off into little fights like not#just with me he was fighting with mom this morning he’s just kick to getting worked up recently which leads to me being angry wanting to be#rude which means do the opposite which means show extra compassion woohoo coping skills 🗣️🗣️#anyways. post panic attack sedative nap (my beloved) or perhaps work on editing my vlog#I’m high ​ I forgot you can’t hit comma on tags. edit my vlog. vacuum. (I always spell vacuum with two c’s and not two u’s and I think#autocorrect should not correct me on that one bc I think I am right in my soul idk why#there’s another word I’m like that with but I forget what it is . okay bye thank you for listening to my type words goodbye goodnight mwah#it’s ​nap time babyyyyyy#idk if I have to trigger tag this ? someone let me know if I do please
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merlinfromberlin · 1 year ago
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Downsides of becoming a queer historian you don't realise until you are in waaaaay too deep:
sometimes you have to read an article on "TrAnSvEsTiTeS" that was written by a white straight cis-man in, like, the seventies and it's just a guy who took Freud too seriously and is like: Men wear women's clothing because their mothers were ~homosexuals~ (if you know what I mean) who project on their little boys and their fathers were beta b#ches who let the household be run by a woman and didn't protest.
And all that while doing research for your paper that's due in four days that's about a really cool topic like - in this case the question of whether or not St. Mary/Marinos can be understood as a trans person and it's really fascinating because like, you can definitely read Marinos as a trans man from a modern point of view - even though it's always a curious discussion because obviously we can never know what Marinos would have chosen to call themselves. Except that we literally know that he would have rather been punished severely for fornication and fathering than child than tell people that he had a vagina. Like. As in Marinos told noone, they only found out after his death - so, I don't know what you want me to make with that, but that's not very cis. And that's basically what my essay is about. :D
And then there come the 80s and 90s scholars again and there all like this person is definitely a WOMAN - like, what do you mean, SHE lived her whole life as a male monk in a monastery and rather get expelled than tell people about HER vagina that made it impossible for HER to father a child and never told anyone and people only found out SHE was a WOMAN after HER death? Well Obviously SHE was in denial about HEr Womanhood.
Or- my favourite cishet interpretation of the story: well, obviously that story is written for cis men because St. Mary is a personification of the guilt men have for desiring women the shouldn't and acting on that because you see- she was punished for it and she couldn't have done it but it isn't revealed until after her death so men have stories that make them feel guilty and help them stay on the right path.
But like. Seriously. It's an absolut shit-show.
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starkeysbaby · 2 months ago
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When the turtle incident at the beach happens the reader gets hurt saving the turtle 🐢 and rafe snap. Everyone sees a different side of rafe
a/n: i LOVE this idea. - Unfortunately i feel like i didn’t do it justice 🥲🥲 but hope you enjoy!! <3
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“if i ever see you round my girl again…”
pairings: s4 rafe cameron x kook but not kooky!reader [est. relationship]
warnings: S4 E4 SCENE DESCRIBED/USED (not sure if it’s really a spoiler tho as nothing plot wise is revealed) turtles being hurt, blood, death threat, canon rafe lol, use of swear words. (pls lemme know if i forgot any)
summary: you just wanted peace between everyone, unfortunately you and a turtle became collateral damage over a kook vs pogue contest. rafe is not happy…
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navigation ⋅˚₊‧𐙚‧₊˚ ⋅ obx masterlist
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You were a kook? Well that’s what your bank account said. However, you were closer with the pogues and basically hung out with them or your boyfriend.. rafe cameron. that was the weird part. It had been awkward since the pogues all returned from El Dorado. You had sort of become the middle man in between rafe and the pogues including his sister, sarah. It was an unspoken rule between you and rafe that you just don’t talk about them with him which you respected. He’ll come around in his own time you thought.
When the swell came in, your boyfriend and his friends were eager to hit the beach and have a surf day to which you wouldn’t turn down. meeting up at tannyhill, you saw that topper had bought his new girlfriend, ruthie who you weren’t too keen on. You had mentioned this to rafe a while back but he said that it isn’t yours or his business to get involved with toppers love life and told you to just stay away from her if you didn’t like her to which you couldn’t argue.
Arriving at the beach you saw your friends, jj, john b, kiara and sarah and quickly told rafe that you were going over to say hi. Rafe just mumbled something as he set up his towel and told you not to be long as he stared daggers at sarah.
“hey!” you wave jogging up to the pogues, hugging sarah then kie. “what’s up y/nn (your nickname)” kie asked. “not much. just thought we’d hit the waves. i told them we should go a bit farther from here but they didn’t listen… sorry” you explained, knowing it’s best if the kooks and pogues don’t cross paths today. “you’re good. it’s them we don’t trust” jj butts in. “yeah, no. i’ll tell them to lay off..” you smile then turn to sarah. “he’s trying. he’ll come around. i know it..” you tell her, referring to rafe. Sarah just shrugs, pretending as if not being on good terms with her brother isn’t bothering her. “wanna surf?” you smile and take sarah’s hand dragging her to the water as you both laugh.
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After surfing with sarah and the pogues for a while, you had joined rafe on his towel and spent an hour or so just chilling with him. He showered you in attention and you did your best to ignore ruthies little comments about the pogues and how jj is a poor sport. At one point, rafe saw you side eye ruthie for shitting on the pogues again. “hey. don’t frown.” he mumbles turning your head to face him and pats your cheek. “i don’t get her problem rafe.” you sigh. “yeah it sucks, but cmon” “no. it’s unnecessary. they aren’t doing anything to her.” you tell him, referring to the pogues just minding their business apart from that tiny squabble with jj and topper in the ocean but topper didn’t seem to care too much so why does ruthie? “i told you, ignore her” rafe says a little sternly taking your hand in his, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. “yeah yeah…” you smile as you peck him, letting it go as you didn’t want ruthie to ruin the day.
While you packed up, unknown to you and rafe, ruthie was convincing topper to just ride the truck over to the pogues to mess up their set up. You in the meantime went over to the pogues to say bye, only to find them saving a turtle hatch in which you started assisting with. The next thing you know, you see ruthie driving her truck at a high speed straight at you. While sarah and kie do their best to get the turtles out of the way in time, you stand in front waving your hands trying to get ruthies attention to stop her. “hey! hey!!! stop! there’s a hatch!” you call out but she doesn’t hear you. you can vaguely see topper yell at ruthie, probably to stop but she’s just laughing. kiara notices ruthie has no intention of stopping and quickly pulls you out the way.
Luckily no turtles were hurt at that point but you see ruthie circling around to go again. You stand up again, trying to stop her. Rafe has also noticed this and starts making his way over to get, in his words, your stupid ass out of the way. You realise ruthie yet again has no intention of stopping so you quickly go to pick up a turtle that was in the way but you get hit slightly by the truck, knocking you out.
“what the actual fuck?!” kiara yells rushing to you, she takes the turtles from you and calls for rafe who’s at your side in seconds. He looks up at a shocked, somewhat guilty looking ruthie. “what the fuck is your problem?” he spits “did you not see her fucking standing there telling you to stop!” he yells as he takes off his shirt to wrap around a bloody scrape on your knee from something in the sand. Overall you weren’t too badly hurt but might need some stitches. That was enough for rafe to see red though.
As sarah goes to fetch water to splash you awake, ruthie stutters “i.. i thought she’d get out the way. why would she just fucking stand the-” kie cuts her off “there was a turtle hatch! look what you did! she was tryna save this turtle” kie yells at her, showing her the hurt turtle to which ruthie turns her face away from. “why the fu-” rafe cuts himself off on questioning you to wake you up with the water sarah got. As you felt water being splashed on your face, you sit up. “what happened?” you groan. “y/n im so so sor-” ruthie starts to apologise but rafe cuts her off. “no. you shut the fuck up and stay away from my girl” rafe snaps causing topper to get involved. “hey now rafe-” but again rafe cuts him off. “control your bitch, top” he huffs shutting topper and everyone else up.
He lifts you up and walks towards his truck. “my head hurts..” you mumble. “i know baby.. gonna get you to the hospital aight” he gently whispers to you to which you just nod. With a final “don’t pull shit like that again” from rafe, he places you in the passengers seat before shutting the door and quickly going up to ruthie. “if i ever see you round my girl again… i’ll kill you” he murmurs up close to her face in a terrifyingly dangerous way. Apart from sarah and a few of the pogues, no one has ever seen rafe like that.. so scary.. so threatening… so murderous. Ruthie just nodded which was enough for rafe to leave the scene so he could take you to the hospital.
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a/n: hope you enjoyed - kinda struggled to find a way to set the dynamic where reader is dating rafe but close to the pogues at this point in the show cuz i couldn’t see rafes defending someone so furiously unless he was dating her 😭
requests are open!! enjoy lovelies - liv <33
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