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#i forgot my tags already dude wtf
horsecuffs · 10 days
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Requests r open! I feel like making stuff again. Yaaayyy!!!! I'll be updating my whitelist & blacklist... And generally the whole rentry maybe
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apathygender · 3 months
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BRUH you can rearrange your sideblogs on desktop apparently ?? wish i'd known that like a year ago
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theoldoor · 2 months
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hsr oc ref stuff
its a god damn challenge trying to design this dude cuz HE CANONICALLY LACK FASHION SENSE like he dresses ugly as hell and im trying to achieve that without him looking too ugly. + he has to keep all the clothes that was gifted to him cuz thats how fenrir is. FUCK I FORGOT PHILOSTRATE (his desert terminal)
but erhmmm… no doodles cuz… i was gettin devious (nsfw content) so i can’t rlly ramble cuz i got nothing to ramble about except for this fenrir ref here ARGH
Fenrir has an AWFUL sense of fashion, despite him being able to sew pretty clothes and design quite well. his abilities to pair them together for his own outfit SUCKASS. like he can style others, but not himself, his outfits for himself are canonically UGLY like not badlooking. UGLY. and it’s funny cuz he got a canonically attractive face and body but his haircut + outfits just messed it up like bro wtf are you trying to do here fenrir
yeah he got his tits out in the open LMFAO
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here i want to focus on his character development more, yk, more signs of aventurine on his outfit and also symbols of billiards cuz he’s a billiards guy.
His sleeve is like, the heart symbol (by suit, heart is just below spade - like now he’s aventurine’s right hand man) and got that number 8 on it. cuz 8 ball. his colors are white and red too, like a card with accents of gold cuz he likes shiny things lol. But everything from the waist below (like that big belt) is recycled from Talia so that’s why it got that empty gun holster. Also the “pants” with the fringes are chaps lol. his shoe are splitted, like those hooves cuz he was antelope inspired and so he gotta have that too.
However, on his chest is a diamond symbol. and diamond is like second to last, standing behind heart - just that he’s emotionally weaker. i just made this on the spot i didn’t have this thought while i was drawing him LMFAO.
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his little accessories are just band patches. However, he has to ripped some of them off as university of veritas prime doesn’t fw that so he kept pins and ‘appropriate’ patches. which is what you see on that jacket. The little thing hanging from his name tag is actually sigonia’s knot of cyclicality he still kept when aventurine gave him during talia. They were made with different materials, thus why it’s not tossed to the flames.
The star pin is a gift from Hermia while the yellow gold coin is Nailscrap’s coin that he still kept, a gift given to him my Aelyn - his deceased best friend who aided him greatly in talia.
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Fenrir’s back is heavily based on this magpie, which in his old ref showed that better. I like the energy from the old ref more but the new ref has more details… The blanket is something i struggled with the new one. I feel like the old one still showed the back better…..r…. but i wanted the eye symbolism to be more clear on the new one. Maybe I should keep the old’s blanket design lol. too late tho, i already drew it.
AND YEAH I FIXED HIS HAIR TOO
tahts it chat
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sunnychuuya · 2 months
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okay so I just started sally face and im gonna play for a bit tonight and just type out my thoughts in one long post instead of spamming the tag
-Mr Addison is sus as hell
-Can pEOPLE STOP INSULTING US JESUS 😭
-why r cops here I don't like that
-charley is.. weird.
-curious about room 201 there's weird noises but no one answered the door
-IS LISAS SON LARRY I HOPE SO HE SEEMS SILLY. LETS FUCKING GO IT IS
-dude on the fifth floor seems totally normal!
Wait wtf he dissapeared
Ik gheres ghosts is he a ghost
-guys guys guys I hate scary games litterally just the music is scaring me so bad
-"what the hell was that" (seeing the thing is 1bs kitchen) YEA SAL ID LIKE TO KNOW TOO WTF
-I love this game sm Larry seems like a cool dude yeee
-"the killer is still in fhe building" HUH?!?!,!?!
-charley is weird from what I've seen BUT IS THE ROOM WITH SAW NOISES COMING FROM IT NOT MORE SUSPICIOUE ?
-oh wow murder great what the fuck
-MR ADDISON IS SUSSSSS
-WHY R THEY SO SILLY (referring to sal and larry)
-why r we already doing crime larry
-oh WHAT THE FUCK I FORGOT BLOOD IS SO RED (have been playing excessive amounts of danganronpa lately)
-OTS THE FUCKIN PONY THINGS THAT CHARLEY HAS
-"at least hes trying now. Not drowning himself in booze, not totally giving up on life.. on me" thats so sad wth I'm sorry sal u deserve a better dad
-bro am I not sposed to use the quarter for the vending machine for snacks 4 Charley am I actually dumb wth
-I feel like the fact we can't drink the Addison tea definitely means there's smth up with it
-so thats what the quarters for!
-YOO MEGAN IVE SEEN FANSRT OF HER BUT WHY IS THE WAY SHE LIKE RISES OUT OF THE GROUND SO CREEPY
-WHY ARE WE COMMINITING CRIMEA
-i mean ig crime okay bc charley is a murderer
-LARRY FACE !!
HOLY SHIT THE CORPSEE SCARED ME SO BAD I JUMPED DEAR LROD WURJWKDK
oop nervermind Charley's not a murderer sorry dude
WDYM SAL AND LARRU DONT STAY FRIENDS FOREBERR :((((
Yeee music [super serious scene happening rn but music slays (the scene where sals like :you might be the only one who thinks im not a murderer)]
oh no trauma
Sal DO NOT PWT THE DOGGY
chat I kinda hate this wtf is happening (like in a good way)
GUYS MAYBE I DONT WANNA PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE WHY AM I PLAYING ST MIDNIGHT
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Wbat the fuck I hat thsi
Yo wtf ep 2 already ? That was very quick
68% completed tho
0Okay goodnight I'm not gonna be able to sleep
@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow
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clotpolesonly · 3 months
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@morocorra BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS
well, i definitely did not, let's talk about Adam impersonating Gansey
so there's a lot to unpack here, obviously, and i am of two minds on the matter. well, ok, i'm of more than two minds. at least three or four minds. i'm conflicted, is what i'm saying here. there are pros and cons to this whole little sequence.
let's start out with the obvious: it was SO unnecessary. they literally didn't have to do this. it doesn't line up with anything in book canon and it didn't serve much of a practical purpose within the show canon that couldn't have been covered elsewhere.
if i recall correctly, in the books, the information about Whelk's father's embezzlement was given to the reader through the narration in Whelk's POV chapters. we don't get that kind of exposition handed to us on screen, we need to see and/or hear it more directly somehow, but it would've been fairly easy to either show it as part of the Noelk flashback sequence or to just have Noah or Whelk outright tell us/another character about it.
usually i'm all for showing and not telling, but sometimes it really is as simple as "my dad got arrested, the bank took all our money, i needed the glendower favor to get it back". instead of using up 20 minutes of screentime on having a main character sneak off, disguise himself as someone else, charm his way into city hall to illegally access police records that i don't think realistically would even be available at city hall in the first place, and then bring that same information back to his friends while refusing to provide them with any context on where or how he got it.
(honestly, he probably could've just fucking googled the Whelk name. was there no press coverage for this at all? come on, man)
so anyway, none of this needed to happen. like, i can see why they thought it might've been a more interesting way to convey that information, but really it just robbed us of a lot of their already very limited screentime. they crammed two whole books into 8 episodes and wasted our time with THIS??
on top of that, it's just........it's absolute UNHINGED behavior. i've seen some people say that it feels out of character for Adam and, yeah, honestly, i agree, at least to a degree.
it's not that book!Adam doesn't want to wear Gansey like a skinsuit. he absolutely does and he's really fucking weird about it. he gets to harvard and cosplays as Gansey so hard that even Ronan is like "dude wtf are you doing" but the thing is, book!Adam would never do it consciously and intentionally. that boy would rather chew his own arm off than recognize/acknowledge/admit how badly he wants to BE Richard Campbell Gansey III. he would literally rather die.
so for him to be on our screens, dying his hair dark and stealing Gansey's clothes and wallet and introducing himself as Dick Gansey to state employees is WILD and feels so so wrong. like, no offense to the writers, but Book!He Would Not Fucking Say That.
-sigh-
however. canon is canon, and he did, in fact, fucking say that on our screens. and i'm gonna be real here, it makes tv!Adam look even more like a complete fucking sociopath than book!Adam ever did adlkjfgh. like, what a batshit psychosexually charged immoral thing for him to do. especially because not only did he use Gansey's name while committing a crime, but he also used Gansey's influence, name-dropped his mother, and promised the county clerk a FAVOR from a US senatorial candidate if she broke the law for him. idk if that's ever gonna come back up again, if it's gonna be relevant and cause problems in later seasons, but even if it doesn't, dude, that's fucked up!!!! wtf lol
...........SO THERE'S ALL THAT
but then, on the other hand
i really enjoyed Adam being a conniving manipulative amoral little mastermind on my television screen, not gonna lie, adlkfjhg
and we know the real crowning glory of this whole ordeal!! hence the tags!!! we knew i was coming back around to this XD
when this show as first announced, i didn't have a lot of hope for the Adam/Declan parallels surviving to screen. many of them were purely textual, phrases and descriptions used for both of them that stand out starkly because of how they're written but wouldn't carry over as well to a visual medium (ie, they weren't born afraid but they learned). i was emotionally prepared to lose those and just make do.
AND THEN THE SHOW WENT OUT OF ITS WAY TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW PARALLEL THAT'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED THAN ANYTHING THE BOOKS COULD'VE GIVEN ME
i cannot believe that they made a big change to Declan's character and then also made a corresponding change to Adam's that matches Declan's deviation from canon, like did they do that one purpose?? is it a coincidence??? it can't be a coincidence, surely
okay i'll cop that it's not a perfect parallel. or, i'd say, it's both a parallel and a contrast.
we didn't get to see Declan going blond or making that decision, we don't know if it was a trauma-fueled impulse like him re-dying it dark was or if it was a choice made with a little more poise and composure, but either way it was something entirely intrinsically motivated. he did it for him, even though it caused him problems and he likely knew that it would, while Adam dying his hair dark (temporarily, it's only a level 1 dye, the kind that washes out pretty quickly, and we see that it's gone by the next episode and no one else is any the wiser about what he did) is externally motivated and for a practical purpose. it's part of a scheme rather than something that he feels emotionally driven to do as part of a coping process.
but even that says so much about them as people. Declan likes to claim that he's so rational and detached, but underneath the facade he wears, he's as impulsive and passionate as Ronan is. his emotions lead him far more often than he wants to admit even to himself. both instances of his hair fuckery are driven by emotional overwhelm, and both are permanent changes (for a given value). you can't unbleach hair that has been bleached, and level 3 dye takes weeks or months to fade. and he owns his choices in the aftermath because, as the books say, Lynches always want to be seen as deliberate, even if it's deliberately cruel or, in this case, deliberately with bad taste in aesthetic choices (lmao).
meanwhile, Adam truly is a much more rational thinker. even when he feels strong emotion, he examines it and picks it apart and makes a real effort toward not acting on it. regardless of his emotional state, on the whole, he is driven by thought and logic. he dyes his hair because his appearance is a tool to be utilized to achieve an end - in this case, accessing information that he wouldn't be able to if he presented as himself. Gansey has clout that he doesn't, and thus taking on Gansey's appearance and name allows him to leverage that clout for his own ends. and when that end is achieved, Adam takes off the disguise. he rinses the dye out of his hair. he is himself again.
through this whole metamorphosis, Adam never loses his sense of self. he is playing Gansey's role, yes, but it's a costume and he knows it is and he takes it off when he's done. but Declan doesn't have a solid sense of self. his identity is a fractured mess, and he has to go through another external process in an effort to regain what he'd stripped away from himself. he cannot unbleach his hair, he has to dye it dark again in an attempt to match his natural color. even when he's trying to be himself, he's still pretending.
if i were to read even more too much into this (😂) i would say this could also be representative of their stations in life and how they feel about themselves -- ie, Declan has the means to make whatever changes he wants, he can live any life he likes (in theory), but none of it means anything if he doesn't know who he is or how to be that person in an authentic way. and Adam feels like, as much as he can play at being better than his roots, in truth he will always be what he is and no amount of slapping paint on top is ever going to change him. from dust he came and to dust he will return. Declan cannot decide if he wants to look like his father or not, that association is fraught and complicated for him and the push-pull of it is tearing him apart, and Adam desperately aspires to distance himself from the father he resembles but believes, deep down, that there is no escaping their similarity.
it makes the monmouth gatekeeping scene spicy in its own weird way, at least for me. it's the only time these two are face to face on screen with nothing else going on around them, just the two of them going head to head. the natural blond and the fake. i have to wonder if that scene is where Adam got the idea for his own brunet adventure. after all, he learned how to flirt from observing and copying Declan, why shouldn't he get tips on pretending to be someone he's not from Declan too? he did it first and he does it best, after all.
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huidol · 2 months
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got tagged by @primsycoldbottles <3 in a game also I just woke up and cant find my glasses so i cant see ok
favorite colour: have gone from a purple man to a pink man in the span of a year i <3 pink . specifically pink and yellow best colour combo ever I like orange too i think.
last song: risk, risk, risk! by um i forgot hold on Oh sorry by jhariah. i found it randomly last week Good fucking song. i need to listen to the rest of their songs bc man is that song good
current reads: i got like six books from the library and havent touched any of them beacuse it's been 90+ fahrenheit each day and i have no energy for anything I AM THOUGH ok im like hunting down a specific book from any nearby library or bookstore called "I'll Be the One" and it looks so fucking cute and i need more books with positive fat characters or ill splat. you. in splatoon. dude itd be so fun to play splatoon rn wtf ok im dking that Bye
currently watching: nothing :( i watched a few video essays last night aka all the hbomberguy videos ive seen before and also the whos lila one by howard that ive watched 40 million times. need to find a show to rewatch hmm
current craving: sandwich 👍 Actually. just had a very sudden craving for eggrolls. 👍 eggrolls.
coffee or tea: coffee i guess 👍 i love iced tea though
tagging @sealnami @volaile @aretarers Actually just checked and youve already been tagged Oh well double ping for griffin because its funny. any of my other mutuals. i dont know if u guys like these tag games or not can go ahead and do this too my eyes are so blurry rn scream. ok imgonna find my cglassses
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dirt-str1der · 4 years
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Catabolic seed by the scary jokes somehow makes me so emo its def the line — Is bad luck really such a crime ?
#Listen to my problems#I WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING THATS MINE#fantastic hashtag personal tag#songs make me so sad#thinkiing about dirk makes me so sad#thats right youve stumbled upon another episode of ash talks about homestuck suck it#i was just thinking about how dirk was drawing self ship art with jakey on his stupud spaceship whos name i already forgot#it was either the daedalus or the thesaeus#i think it was the latter because daedalus was the other spaceship .... Oh. OHHHH its prolly some sorr of reference ahahaha spaceships#named after greek dudes. cept idk who thesaeus was ? ? is that how u even spell it it#im prolly spelling it wrong but hey#dirk drew himself being held by jake .... HE. he is so lonely and it makes me sad. he doesnt have a brain ghost jake to keep him company#i wonder if ult dirk can feel bgd hanging out with jakey :((( im literally so sad rn wtf#like idk they both really like each other and im. sooo sad i think it could work out god i cant think im too sad#unrelated note but my brostri playlist got two likes and im still thinking about it. like sorry guys ideh any rap songs in there im a hack#a fraud if you will idk about rap music i just listen to mother mother and shit#oh the guy who volunteers at the fishpond with me is so funny we had to pick up and weigh crayfish and he was so unhappy to be touching them#with his bare hands cause like claws and shit i admit i was doing most of the delicate work but its fine cause he was doing the heavy liftin#but anyway i got fucking pinched by a goddamn prawn again doomed to be pinched#i love them still dont even worry about it#im sad cause my bf told me that dirk and john the ship (who dont even have an incomprehensible name like pepsi cola so lame) is probably rem#reminiscent of the brojohn ship which is like damn what u freaks really be out there shipping a thirteen y/o with a middle aged dude huh#oh whoops discourse again... :// eh i hate when i go online and the online is there
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tiffanytoms · 3 years
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Okay, so I was gonna let this review just rot where it was, but — as “Rebecca” intended — obviously I can’t stop thinking about it. And while I’m an adult who can’t get insulted out of a fandom and shamed from creating the art I wanna share, maybe the next person they try to come for will be silenced bc of this one person’s warped point of view and their insistence on spreading the superiority of their personal beliefs and boundaries. And that’s dumb — especially since they seem incapable of reading a warning.
Drama ahead. 🌶
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Big sigh. Biiiiiiiiiig fucking sigh.
First of all, I want to say how frigging stupid this is, because I know me and this girl are on the same side even if she’s too holier-than-thou to see it. We’re both attracted to Jily for a reason, and one of those reasons is we’re not all those things she just superficially accused me of.
Second, this review is just so pretentious and condescending that… dude. I mean, I guess it’s no surprise that she read something that upset her on this forum, but instead of addressing it here, she anonymously wrote a review on FF and not AO3, because one allows for responses and one doesn’t. I can infer that she didn’t want an actual dialogue or nuanced discussion about the topics she brought up, but instead just wanted to lecture someone and feel better about herself. That much is obvious, but here we go anyway.
I acknowledge that anytime you have to start an argument by saying “I’m not racist or antisemitic like you just implied” you’ve already lost — something I’m sure she was well aware of, because this seems like an accusation she is well versed with leveling to try to win the moral high ground — but I’ll start with that bc, ffs, obviously I’m not, and I don’t condone any form of racist or antisemitic behavior. We just don’t live in the same reality where a fanfiction written of two characters from Harry Potter fucking each other all over the castle (which is literally the entire premise and point of the story…) mean such a thing. Like, wtf man. What type of twisted, trigger-happy universe does she live in? Stories can exist for purely hedonistic purposes and don’t need to have a moral. This isn’t a children’s book — it’s an adult fiction that was labeled and tagged as such.
And I don’t normally talk for other people (but I don’t think they’ll mind in this case), but I don’t think that either my readers or I are friggin nazi sympathizers for enjoying a story where a good girl fucks a bad guy (a premise as old as time). Again. For fuck’s sake. Saying such a thing is super insulting to people who actually have to deal with issues like fucking nazis. (Have your minds all melted from the stupidity of this all? Bc mine has.)
She asked me to consider what I’m writing, but I’d ask her to consider the slander she’s slinging. Because these insults aren’t just directed at me, but everyone who might have enjoyed a bout of escapism — perhaps from some of the very same shit she’s pretending she cares about and wanted to virtue signal every chance she got. (We get it. You think you’re a “very good person” and people who enjoy kinky sex are not.) But she forgot: it’s a flipping story. No one is getting hurt, it is meant for pure, unadulterated enjoyment. She knew she wouldn’t like it, but she read it anyway. She even acknowledged this fact in the first line of her review when she said that to her, Jily was inherently good. Great! Then don’t read a fic where one of them isn’t!! I think she came in wanting something to be mad about (and again, make herself feel superior) and then was glad that she found it so she could flaunt that feeling. So, at the very least, I hope writing that review gave her whatever she wanted out of the confrontation. No really — I do. Because that she’s trying to stifle someone from making art means she’s probably dealing with some shit, and I really do hope whatever she’s going through gets better. Because she said she didn’t understand why I wrote this fic, but girl, you’re just like the main character: you knew something was going to be bad for you… and you did it anyway. That is the entire premise of EW. So… maybe reading it helped her come to terms with herself a little bit? 🤷🏼‍♀️ One can hope.
More on the original point, I can’t believe I have to explain such a thing as perspective, but here it goes: how people interpret themes and characters, and whole fucking dramas that they’ve made up in their heads, is not how other people do. I’m glad she cares about such things as social justice — I really am, and more people should care in the real world — but trying to shame people out of what turns them on is not the way to achieve those goals. It’s a waste of her energy and mine defending myself when, AGAIN, I know we’re on the same fucking side. She isn’t making the world a less shitty place by making people feel ashamed of being turned on by the two people they want to see fucking, fucking. She’s just not. If she needs me to elaborate that further, she’s probably a child that shouldn’t be reading this kind of story (condescending remarks that make false assumptions about you aren’t fun, are they?) or an adult that knows that kink-shaming is no longer socially acceptable, but is still having a really hard time putting that principle into practice — opting instead to be a performative ally and merely say she’s cool with kink.
“This is just two people with extremely questionable morals fucking.”
Yes!
Yes!!!! Exactly as I said it would be in the warning!!!!
Exactly what some people wanted to read and enjoyed reading and shouldn’t feel ashamed for having done so!
“How is this any better than, say, Snily, Jegulus, or Drarry? Everyone claims to bash those ships while … writing a version of that?”
This is such a bad faith argument, but I’ll bite. For the first part, I spent 200k words describing how it’s different (your prejudices and superiority complex are really showing with your phrasing there…), so if you want to comprehend that, feel free to hate read it again. For the second claim… you make a lot of assumptions about others, but no I don’t bash other ships, I let people live their lives free of judgement. It’s not that hard.
“What I do not understand is why the same smut couldn’t have been with, like, good Jily?”
………. Because the whole premise is she wants to hook up with someone that she shouldn’t want to. Like. “Okay, why can’t you just have your story without the plot?” What kind of question is this 🤯 I already wrote canon Jily. If morally dubious content is not your jam, don’t read it, but don’t shame people for wanting to read something different than everything else out there with their Jily. How I write Jily doesn’t threaten you.
Also, just… the audacity to read an entire fic you claim to hate, and then complain about something that was in the prelude the whole time. I mean… I just?? 🤨 I warned it was not a romance, I warned it was an unhealthy relationship, and seriously? Lily turns out to be a bad guy that rules them all, so I dunno man…
Take your puritanical pearls and go clutch them somewhere else.
👋
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lilikags · 4 years
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ೃ‧₊› a b o u t  t h i s  p o s t° ➮ Pairing: Miya Atsumu x reader ➮ Oneshot ➮ Tags: fluff ➮ Word Count: 2182
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A/N: This is for @serowotonin​! [for Luna’s Valentines Day collab] Ik I said I was doing Atsumu bc “I was bored” but I always say “imagine being bored” and truly, I haven’t been bored for so long. I forgot that this was for the collab for a fat moment then when you saw the preview I was like, “Wait- no- it’s a surprise.” 
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Premise: You and Atsumu are cleaning out the apartment, when you find a few letters you thought you would never see again… 
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“Oi, (y/n), look at what I found,” you heard Atsumu say, leaning over the contents of a drawer he had been sifting through. 
“What?” you walked over to see what he had found. The two of you were cleaning out the apartment, as you were going to be moving out soon. Atsumu had a habit of keeping things that connected him to an important memory of his, unless he wanted to forget it- and this was one of them. You didn’t know he kept them- actually, it did make sense of him to, but you had simply forgotten about it and you somehow expected the same for him. You looked down to see what he had in his hands, and your face literally went emotionless as you saw the letter in his hands. 
You really didn’t mind the letters, for the most part. Actually, they held dear to you. However, that first one… you were grateful for it, but you also remembered just how bad you wanted to buy a grave space and bury it for eternity back then... 
Miya Atsumu.
This was a dare. This is a love letter. For Valentines. Happy valentines day. If you have extra chocolate, send me some. 
Sincerest thanks, (y/n). 
Atsumu usually threw away the letters he received every Valentines. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude; it was just that there were too many letters for him to read (and reply to), so he usually just threw them out. Osamu often teased him for this; he boasted that he at least read his letters.
“Oi, ‘Samu, look at this one,” Atsumu called out to his brother. 
“What?” Osamu looked at him, with a face of disbelief. “Yer actually lookin’ at them?”
“Nah, not really, but this one’s hilarious,” Atsumu laughed. 
“Okay, not funny, keep yer lame humor to yourself.” 
----------------
“(y/n), truth or dare,” (b/f/n) asked. 
You smiled, “Dare.” 
“Hmmm… alright, send a love letter to Miya Atsumu- it has to be at least one line long.”
“I’m- okay then.” 
You brought out a piece of paper, wrote the first things that came to mind, and once you reached one line, you stopped. You folded the paper and grabbed whatever envelope you could find and sealed it with tape. The dare required actually giving the letter, much to your dismay, but it wasn’t like you could back down from a dare. After all, it was (b/f/n), and the nonstop teasing would definitely occur if you failed to complete the dare. 
Dearest (y/n), 
I did in fact receive your rather interesting letter, and I have decided to bring you some chocolate as you wished. I wish you, as well, a very happy valentine’s day this year.
Most sincerely, Atsumu. 
Atsumu was intrigued enough to write a reply; in fact, he decided to write in the most formal way possible. He knew from the letter that you were either a tsundere or someone who was actually dared to do so, and decided that it would be fun entertainment for the both of you. 
When you received the letter, you were surprised to see a reply. It was known he didn’t send out replies, yet you had received one. As you read it, you felt a need to reply; you’d simply feel bad if you didn’t. However, what was there to talk about? How the chocolates were good? He had stuck it on your first period desk, out in the open. And you also sincerely wondered what was with the overly formal tone. You do remember writing the most shitty letter you’ve ever written to him, and that volleyball-obsessed dude just writes something formal to you? Baffles the mind.
Well, then, if he was going to reply, you would too. 
Miya Atsumu,
Thanks for the chocolate- your fans make pretty good chocolate, I have to say. Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, ‘cause all ya focus on is just volleyball. Anyways, what was with the overly formal tone- ya like me or somethin’? Would be funny if ya did and I turned ya down. XD  
(y/n) 
You never really thought of Miya Atsumu, but this really sparked your interest. It was amusing, his reactions. It was definitely something you didn’t expect- you actually didn’t expect a reply at all. The reply you received was definitely out of the ordinary as well, one you never thought a hotshot volleyball player would write. It seemed he was interested in you in some ways- and you as well. 
(y/n),
Pfffft, you think I might like ya? I just thought yer letter was interestin’, that’s all. Ya really think I can’t make chocolate? Bet I could make better chocolate than ya, I’ll show you. I make you chocolate myself and we’ll see how it tastes. Just you watch, I’ll make ya say I make the best chocolate ever! 
Atsumu. 
You saw that in your shoe locker the next morning- and everyone saw it. You were beginning to regret actually replying to him, but there was no backing out now. (b/f/n) really hit the goal here, for her. People were probably talking about it. It’s always some event that involves romance that catches everyone’s eye. And since it was just after valentine’s, everyone would automatically assume it was a love letter. In reality, it was simply a little bit of playful banter. 
You wondered if people actually knew who it was. You hoped not; it would gather way too much attention for your liking. You’d have an entire fanclub after you, and it was definitely (b/f/n)’s fault that you got into this entire mess. You had absolutely no idea if anyone saw him slip that into your shoe locker, since it had probably been there for a good hour or so before you and most of the other students got there. In any case, there was nothing you could do about people knowing things they already know, so you headed onto class. It was exam week, and you sighed; it would be a long day. 
When you arrived at homeroom, you were not-so-pleasantly surprised with what you found at your desk. You just wanted a quiet day; go to school, take the tests, and get out so you could relax at home. But no, you just had to see this and you knew there was a thing called rumors you had to deal with. Well, you could just be like “whatever” and not care, but you definitely knew who’d be after you, for real. Atsumu’s fanbase was quite scary, and definitely large- a group of people one would regret messing with. 
“Ugh- what am I going to do with this chocolate now, he gave me a lot yesterday…” 
“(y/n)! Oiiii, you got chocolate?! From who from who-”
“(b/f/n), if you say a word, you are going to be dead to me.”
“...” she looked away, but then turned to you again and whispered in your ear. “So, Miya Atsumu, who has a fanbase, likes you.” 
“I’m- no-”
“But what I’m seeing says otherwise?”
“Ugh, you’re coming to my house and you are going to pay for that dare.” 
“Oh ho ho, seems like I started something…” “Bet you did.”
Pisshead Atsumu
LMAO bet ya didn’t make the chocolate, yer terrible at lying <///3 seen this chocolate before. And like wtf you put a box of chocolate on my desk with YOUR NAME on it. Ya know that people will do a thing called assuming things, right? Smh, think before you act. Anyways, I’m counting on ya to fix up this mess.
(y/n)
When you finished class, the first thing you did was write the note. You were absolutely paranoid with this mess, and you were going to have Atsumu fix it. Yes, you did technically initiate contact first, but that was (b/f/n)’s fault and this could’ve avoided this if he hadn’t pulled off a whole stunt. 
It was already around 6 when he saw the note. A small smirk filled his expression, he was so sure that he would be able to get a good reaction out of (y/n). It was written on scrap paper, the back of a phys. ed worksheet. You wrote it in a rush, very obviously. That wasn’t really what caught his attention though; he was puzzled as to how he would fix this. Tell his fans to fuck off? Osamu would tease him for eternity.
“Oi, what’cha starin’ at?” he heard Osamu nag. “Mom’s waitin’ for us for dinner.”
“Hey, ‘Samu…  ya know how to fix this?” 
“... ARE YOU AN IDIOT- YOU ARE AN IDIOT.”
“I AM NOT! YOU ARE THE IDIOT HERE!” 
“SAYS THE ONE WHO GOT INTO A MESS LIKE THIS!” 
“Oi, ya shouldn’t be fightin’ at this hour,” the two heard Kita say, as he gave them a certain look. “... ‘m sorry…” the twins apologized.
Even after a fulfilling dinner made by their mother and a nice, hot shower, Atsumu still couldn’t think of a solution. Osamu almost snitched on him, but he decided that there was enough on their mom’s plate of problems at the moment. 
“What if ya said you were dating?” Osamu offered. 
“HAH?! ARE YA INSANE?!” Atsumu yelled at him.
“That would explain what happened at valentine’s.” 
“But there’s nothin’ between us-”
“Yer fanclub wouldn’t really believe anythin’ else.”
“Yeah…” 
(y/n),
Can we meet when practice ends at 6 on Thursday?
M. Atsumu.
“... I’m- Is he just going to apologize then run away? Tch.” you sighed. You had the idea that Miya Atsumu was overconfident and carefree, but not to this extent. The least he could do was fix this- he had power over his fandom and what people said about him, unlike you. You had to go, it wasn’t like you really had much of a choice if you wanted to talk it out and fix it. 
“Hey, (y/n) are you and Atsumu dating?” one of your classmates asked, and a bunch of others hovered around the table, waiting to hear a response. (b/f/n) had told you rumors had spread around the entire school; you figured that would’ve happened. Any topic related to the twins spread like wildfire, especially the blonde-haired one. 
“... Can you not try to pry into my private life?” you replied, which you instantly realized was exactly a wrong answer to give. This implied that you were in fact dating Atsumu secretly, and you just made your life 10x worse. You figured you should just tell everyone what had happened, then the blame would be on (b/f/n)- it should preferably be placed on Atsumu, since he started it, really. 
When you met him at 6pm, you expected no contribution from him. Instead, you were met with a solid plan for something you weren’t really happy about, but it seemed the easiest to convince the public of a story they put out. 
“(y/n)... let’s tell them that we’re dating.”
“Hmm… well, they already think that…”
“I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking…” “It’s fine. All we can do is move forward, I guess.”
“Yeah… ‘Samu gave me this solution; it’s all I have, I’m sorry if it’s-”
“It’s fine. Let’s go through with it. Just protect me from the crazy fangirls; that’s all I want.”
“Ya.” 
“And we’ll need to put together a coherent story; what’s yer number?” 
“Ahaha, seriously, maybe (b/f/n)’s a prophet. She told me that she was aiming for somethin’ to happen between us,” you commented, remembering what happened years and years ago. 
“Ya were just so unnecessarily worried about the fangirls,” Atsumu mentioned. 
“Oi! Yer fangirls were hella scary back then…” 
That night, you stayed up coming up with a story, which ended with the two of you breaking up so that you could go on your separate ways again. However, the story didn’t last too long, as (b/f/n)’s parent’s investigations went a little too far and spread the truth a little too much. (b/f/n) is one thing, but you had almost forgotten her parents were another, seriously. They’d been a little busy over the last few years, thus the lack of investigations of local drama, but they had been doing so for decades, what could you expect from them? 
Nothing was Atsumu’s fault to the fanclub, unless he seriously convinced them that it was. You were guilty until proven innocent. Unbeknownst to you until after, he gave them a whole (to be honest, not-so-great) speech on how he kind of went too far with the joke, but also placed the blame on everyone else for assuming things. People were absolutely ridiculous; their ideas and their insane imagination should learn that the left side of the brain exists too. 
“Funny how we met again after college, after all that time.”
“Ya… a real wonder” 
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Another A/N: OMG THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING FOR ‘TSUMU FORGIVE ME IF I WROTE HIM LIKE, WRONG IN THIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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『••✎••』 Extra Info * ˚ ✦ ⇢ If you would like to read some of my other works, find them here! * ˚ ✦ ⇢ Taglist: @serowotonin​ @luna-la-ley​ // send me an ask if you would like to be added!
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Text
Don’t Call Me That Pt. 2
Wordcount: 10,129
A/N:  I thought this part 2 would total up to 10k words, but when it hit 10k, I realised that I was only about 65 percent done. So based on the responses I got from tumblr, I decided to publish this first and then conclude the story later on!
TW:  mentions of r*pe, mentions of torture, mentions of drugging someone (??) , mental breakdowns, vulnerability, descriptions of anxiety
Also, HERE’S MY FAV MEMES!! I’m so sorry that I can’t tag respective meme creators, because I saved them on my phone and some of them I forgot to include your usernames!! I’M SO SORRY!!! And honest to god is wear there were more but i must have lost them im so sorry im so incompetent lmao
memeesss
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You glanced at your phone.
It had already been a week in Hawaii with your friends, and Jason still hadn’t texted you.
Well, you should have expected it, really. Jason was a traumatised, mentally ill man who had been locked away for two years.
Of course he wouldn’t text you first.
You had contemplated texting him over the past few days, typing in an array of messages ranging from a simple “hey” to a whole paragraph, and deleting all of it without hitting send. Did he even switch the phone on? Was he surfing the internet? Or was the phone still there on the shelf where you had left it.
It was driving you crazy.
“Do you have a boyfriend we don’t know about?” a voice called.
You looked up and squinted at the man who was standing up, looking down at you. You were sitting on the beach, a little further away from the ocean where your friends were.
“What are you talking about?” you asked as Alex plopped down next to you.
“You’ve been fidgety the whole time,” he pointed out, combing back his dark shoulder length hair with his fingers, getting sand in them. “We’re on a private beach, and you’ve been fussing over your phone. Who are you talking to?”
“No one,” you grumbled truthfully.
“The girls have been gossiping,” he gestured to the two other girls playing in the water. Your closest friends. It was four of you in that inseparable group.
“Of course they have,” you groaned, “Tell them to SAY IT TO MY FACE, COWARDS!”
You shouted at them, earning you grins and middle fingers from the distance.
“They’re saying you’re in love with someone,” he chuckled, “But they always say stupid shit like that without any evidence. But sometimes, a girl’s intuition is just right, ya know?”
“Stop beating around the bush, Alex,” you rolled your eyes at him despite knowing he couldn’t see past your sunglasses. “No, I’m not in love. I’m just waiting for a text that might never come.”
“Why don’t you text him first?”
“Because it’s not as simple as that!” you flailed your arms, “He’s… complicated. I can’t just text him anything.”
“Girl, unless he’s Mr. Nottingham, or related to you, then it really isn’t that complicated,” he joked.
“Ugh,” you groaned again, falling back onto the cloth you spread out. “Fine. I’ll text him.”
“Atta girl,” Alex grinned, “I’m gonna head back in the water. Join us after. Please?”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved.
Opening the text window for what had to be the thirtieth time, you finally decided to text him.
You: Miss me yet?
Staring intently at the small ‘sent’ below your message bubble, you waited for it to turn to ‘delivered’.
“Yes!” you hissed. It meant that Jason had indeed switched on the phone.
But after twenty minutes you realised that it didn’t matter if Jason switched on the phone if he didn’t want to talk to you. Cursing to yourself, you decided to join your friends in the water, hoping it’ll distract you from checking your phone every five minutes for a text message that might never come.
After an hour of actually spending time with your friends, all four of you returned to the villa, your mood elevated. Checking your phone, you could have jumped for joy when you saw not one, but four consecutive texts in a row.
Jason: Duck off. Jason: What the duck Jason: WHY CANT I SAY DUCK Jason: I DUCKING HATE THIS
You couldn’t let out a string of giggles.
“Oooh, lover boy texted you back, huh?” Alex peeked over your shoulder. “Gimme, I wanna mess with him.”
He snatched your phone from your hands, surprisingly swift and smooth for a civilian, raising it way above his head so you couldn’t reach it and opened the camera.
“Alex-!”
He threw his other arm over your shoulder and pulled you into his bare chest, crushing you before you could tackle him down. He snapped a picture and sent it.
You froze in horror.
“Why the hell did you do that?!” you yelled.
“Relax, I was just messing around,” he gave your phone back to you.
“You don’t- you don’t understand, you fucking asshole!” you screamed.
“I- I’m sorry,” Alex stuttered, surprised by your reaction. “I was just-”
“Fuck off!” you snapped.
Panicking, you saw the little notification below the picture turning from Received to Read.
No. No, no, no, no.
This was bad.
You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason by sending him photos of your activities, thinking that he might react badly to the sudden surplus of familiarity and sense of being close to someone. Now you were worried that he might start to push you away in fear, reverting back to how he was before, and months of progress would have been all for nothing.
He would probably start swearing at you, or worse- switch off the phone and reject any form of communication completely. You hurriedly texted a reply.
You: I’m so sorry! I didn’t send that, my friend was just messing around.
Expecting the worst, you braced yourself for the inevitable. Instead, he sent you:
Jason: Who the hell is that guy?? Jason: Why are you in your underwear??
Your mouth hung open as you stared in shock at the screen. Because you took so long to recover from the shock, he sent you another message.
Jason: ???
Snapping out of it, you texted back.
You: That’s just my friend. Sorry about that! And I’m not in my underwear, it’s a bikini! I’m in Hawaii.
You waited for him to reply, but ten minutes of you sitting anxiously on the turquoise sofa in the middle of the villa listening to the waves of the beach outside from the open doors passed by, and he still hadn’t.
Perhaps he’s busy- wait. There’s no way Jason would be busy. You tried to coax him into a conversation.
You: You can turn off your autocorrect if you want to swear without hassle. Go to your Keyboard settings.
You plopped your phone on the empty seat next to you and dried your hair.
“Ugh, come on!” complained Natalie, fully clothed and washed, walking towards the open concept kitchen from her room. “You’re getting sand everywhere!”
“Woops, my bad,” you grinned.
“There’s a shower outside on the porch for a reason you know,” she flipped her blond beach waves at you, looking through the fridge.
Alex stood quietly at the kitchen island, now scared to say anything.
You rolled your eyes. “Just don’t do it again.”
“Okay, I promise!” he grinned.
Ding.
Jason: fuck. fuck. fucking fuck. Jason: found it. You: Proud of you, man.
You went to your room and showered, then dried off and put on fresh clothes while waiting for Jason to reply.
Of course, he never did.
Groaning, you had to remind yourself that he was not used to human interaction, and texting would come unnaturally to him. Which meant that you had to be the one to keep the conversation going.
You: Do anything interesting since I left?
You saw him typing almost immediately this time.
Jason: no.
Of course not.
You: Have you been eating properly? Jason: yeah.
God, it was so difficult. You were in the middle of typing something when he replied again.
Jason: yoire not my mom Jason: yoire Jason: YOIRE Jason: FUCK WHY CANR I TYPE
You felt guilty for laughing, but you did anyway.
You: Now that you switched off autocorrect, it won’t correct your typos and misspells anymore. Jason: i fucking knw that. Ive been gone for two yeard not twenty. You: Then why do you sound like a grandpa? Jason: BECAISE YOU GAVE ME A FUCKINF IPHONE!! I USED AN ANDROID!!
Now you were really laughing out loud, so you sent him a GIF of a woman rolling her eyes.
Jason: wtf you can send gifs throug text now?? You: Welcome to 2020, my dude. Jason: im not your fucking dude
Typing a reply, Jason interrupted you once again.
Jason: teach me how to do that
Smiling widely, you found that you couldn’t wait for the next week to pass by so you could go back and see him.
***
“How’s Jason?” you asked the minute you reached the Cave computers, panting from the run down.
“Wow, hello to you, too,” Dick chuckled, spinning towards you on the wheeled chair.
It was a Sunday afternoon, and Bruce and Dick were in front of the computers, discussing a case that had connections to Bludhaven Police Department.
Gone for two weeks, you had a lot to catch up on.
“According to Alfred, he’s doing well,” Bruce answered, “Even started to ask for seconds last week. Now Alfred has been making portions for two.”
“He asked? For seconds?” you gasped. “How?”
“He left a note on the tray two days after you left. He’s been making meal requests, too. Texts Alfred in the morning to let him know.”
“Texted?!”
“Alfred slipped his number on the tray in case Jason wanted anything specific.”
“I slipped mine as well, but he hasn’t texted me yet,” Dick pouted.
“When did he start texting?” you ignored Dick.
“Last Sunday.”
So the same day you started texting him, then.
“He hasn’t texted me,” Dick sighed, looking dejected like a kid who was told Disneyland blew up.
“He’ll come around, Dick,” you offered him a smile, “I mean- he’s already texting Alfred!”
“Yeah,” he lamented.
“Okaaay, nice talk. I’m gonna go see him now, bye.”
You ran to the box, but stopped right before you opened the internal door. After checking your hair with your phone camera, you tried to stifle the butterflies in your stomach.
Ugh, you were so fucked.
Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the door.
“Yeah,” Jason’s muffled grunt answered you.
Pushing it open, your eyes immediately went to the bed only to find that he wasn’t lounging around reading a book like you expected. Instead, your mouth dropped open when you saw him on the floor, doing push ups.
Shirtless.
Jason had changed drastically during the two weeks you were gone. You noticed that he had definitely gained weight, as well as muscle mass.
“Uh, wh-what are you..?”
He stood up, and you swore your heart skipped a beat.
His muscles were much more prominent and defined now, and he looked like he was going to achieve Dick’s physique if he kept it up for another month or two.
“Welcome back,” he simply said before taking gulps from a water bottle you definitely had not seen before.
“Thanks,” you walked over and sat on his bed, “I’m glad to see that you decided to start taking care of yourself again.”
“What, this? This isn’t for me.”
“Huh?” you cocked your head in curiosity.
“I… I lost a lot of muscle mass. My body- it isn’t how it used to be,” he frowned, “And I can’t have you lusting over it when it’s not at its peak.”
“What- what do you-?” you stammered, suddenly getting hot.
Jason merely smirked and then continued his push ups.
You watched as his developing muscles rippled, a thin layer of sweat making his skin glisten in the light. It was amazing how he had progressed so much in such a short period of time. You guessed that he must have just been occupying his days by working out.
No wonder he’s been asking for seconds.
“Enjoying the view?” Jason breathed, pausing with his arms straightened, his head angled upwards towards you.
“No, shut up,” you looked away.
“Here, be useful,” he started, “Sit on my back.”
“What?”
“I’ve gotten used to my own body weight, I need extra resistance,” he elaborated, “Come on, sit on my back.”
“But it’s all sweaty,” you whined, pretending to protest. Definitely pretending- for the sake of your own dignity.
You got up and went over towards him anyway.
Carefully, awkwardly, you sat on his back as you would a park bench. You rested your palms flat against his sticky skin to stabilise yourself. Suddenly, he dipped down without warning, earning a soft squeal from you.
“Fuck, you’re heavy,” he strained, but continued to do the push ups. He was shakier, struggling with the weight, and after twenty-five, he paused. “Okay, I think I’m done.”
But before you had the chance to get off him, he suddenly stood up, throwing you off his back to have you fall on the floor on your ass.
“Jason, you assho-” you clapped your hand over your mouth, realising what you had just said.
Oh, no. Oh, fuck.
He stood towering over you, his jaw clenching as he stared you down with his cold, blue eyes.
“I’m so sorry! I forgot! It was a reflex and-”
“Whatever. I don’t care anymore,” he rolled his eyes, reaching for his bottle.
You blinked. Then scrambled to your feet.
“You don’t care anymore?” you repeated slowly.
“I don’t care if you call me that,” he huffed.
That made your heart swell and melt at the same time.
“I got used to your voice,” he mumbled, expression changing as he looked away. He frowned, as if he was angrily staring at a distant object.
You had just guessed that he didn’t like to be called his name because of a sense of familiarity, but now you were thinking that there was much more to that than what you had originally thought.
“So, I can call you… Jason?” you tested.
“Yeah, call me whatever you want,” he sat on his bed, looking up at you.
You smiled, thankful that you had finally crossed that bridge. “You know, I could get some workout stuff for you? Weights, bands, that bar thing that you can put at your door frame for pull ups…”
“You’d like to see that, huh?” he smirked.
“You flatter yourself too much,” you scoffed.
“How was Hawaii?” he changed the subject all of a sudden.
“It was fun. Beach was great, locals were great, loved the vibe- what are you doing?”
Jason had stood back up and started to walk closer and closer to you, getting all up in your space like a predator finally cornering its prey. You kept on taking steps back until your ass hit the edge of the desk.
Nowhere else to run, your heart started hammering. He leaned in, his hands resting on the desk on either side of your body, trapping you against the table and himself. You looked up and gulped. You could almost feel the heat radiating from his bare skin.
“Are you afraid of me?” he muttered lowly.
“Why would I be afraid of you?” you whispered.
“You tell me,” he said.
“Well, I’m not afraid of you,” you stated.
“Oh really?” he raised an eyebrow. Then, you felt his hand grip your wrist tightly, pressing down on your skin with his fingers. “Your pulse is very fast for someone who’s not afraid of me.”
“It’s because you’re all up in my space!” you argued.
“Didn’t look like you mind when your friend,” he snarled the word, “was all up in your space.”
“My friend? What- oh,” you widen your eyes in realisation, “You mean Alex.”
“Is that his name?”
“Alex is just a friend, nothing more. He’s just someone I’m close to,” you reassured him.
Which then made you think about why you were reassuring him.
“Oh, you were definitely close to him,” Jason growled.
“Wait- are you… jealous?” a smile creeped your lips.
He scowled at you for a few moments, and you could see the little tics in his expression that said he was annoyed. The flared nostrils, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching, the very slight twitches at the corner of his left eye.
“No,” he finally said, taking a step back from you. “I’m going to shower. Since you couldn’t stop staring at me, the invitation is still open for you to join.”
“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe I prefer it when you were broody instead of this. Please go back to your depressive mental state,” you sarcastically replied.
Jason barked out an actual laugh. Though his laugh was odd, like someone who’s only now discovering that humans were indeed capable of laughter, you found comfort in it. It was no longer hysterical and devoid of humor. He was getting better, learning to embrace a connection with someone, and it made you extremely happy.
“Maybe I should,” he answered with a cheeky glint in his eye, “Then that way you can give me more sponge baths.”
He left you alone in his room, flushed and at a loss for words.
***
“I find it very odd that people would yell ‘Batman!’ when they realise you’re there,” you rambled while climbing out of the Batmobile.
You were absolutely drenched from the downpour that had been going on all night. It was 4 am on a friday night and you had just returned from patrol.
Bruce took off his cowl immediately, revealing tired eyes despite the relatively slow night.
“It’s like they’re saying ‘Look at me! I’m here! Please knock me out or hang me upside down from the-’ Bruce?”
Bruce had stiffen, staring at something behind you. You turned around and was shocked to see Jason in the mid-distance, sitting on the ground outside the black box that was his room, leaning against the cool metal.
He himself was staring intently at Bruce, not even sparing you a glance.
You looked back and forth between the two men, sensing a high tension silent conversation.
Then, Bruce’s eyes relaxed and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly in that hardly-there-Bruce-smile.
He gave Jason one stiff nod of understanding, then walked away to the computers at the other end of the cave, leaving you alone with his son.
Jason relaxed as you walked over to him, wringing your hair to squeeze out all the excess water.
“Aw, you waited up for me,” you teased, standing in front of him with your hands on your hips, grinning away.
“Fuck off,” he snorted, “I was bored.”
You noticed him clenching his jaw as he looked at you from top to bottom, eyes lingering longer on the ‘R’ on your left breast.
Ah, it was his first time seeing you in your uniform.
His uniform.
Suddenly, you felt like an imposter in those colors and had the strong urge to rip the uniform off.
You wanted to say something, but Jason beat you to it.
“There were times in that shit hole where I wanted to burn that uniform off my skin,” he grit, “Kept on thinking to myself. I wish I never became Robin. I wish I never met Bruce Wayne.”
Your heart shattered at his confession. It was extremely rare for him to bring up anything related to his two year torture, and the previous times were never in such detail.
Realising you needed to say something, you opened your mouth. “I’m so-”
“Don’t,” he cut you off, “You don’t have to say anything.”
Yes, sometimes you knew that he just wanted you to listen.
You nodded silently and went to sit next to him on the floor.
“It… suits you,” he forced out.
“Hmm?”
“The uniform. It suits you. More than it ever suited me,” he grumbled.
“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think your ass would look quite nice in green,” you joked, nudging his shoulder with your own.
He chuckled deeply, nudging you back even harder- hard enough for you to lose your balance and topple sideways, earning another breathy laugh from Jason.
***
Another month passed by, and you found yourself falling deeply for Jason- much to your dismay. You knew Jason wasn’t ready for any kind of intense emotions, and that it would take a very long time before he was.
So you swallowed your emotions down, stifling them and hoping it would go away.
The two of you had developed a pleasant friendship, often bickering and joking around, with Jason teasing you about your obvious physical attraction to him.
He also now occasionally waited outside his cube for you to come back after patrol, never really venturing too far from it, and still avoiding contact with both Bruce and Dick. Only you and Alfred had the privilege to speak to him.
Even then, sometimes you would visit his room but only getting a “I’m not feeling it today. Please leave.”
Understandingly, you would nod silently and leave him alone. You knew he still had his bad days, sometimes not eating his meals.
But mostly, he was getting better, both mentally and physically.
With nothing much to do the whole day, Jason was now obsessed with working out and bulking up. He now had a few simple equipment in his room- mostly weights.
You figured that it was a coping mechanism for him, a healthy outlet to channel all his rage and negative emotions into.
But come on. He was getting even hotter and it was making it extremely difficult for you to stop yourself from checking him out, fantasizing about him when he wasn’t around. Still, you couldn’t complain. Even though he hadn’t reached Dick’s size yet, he was very near to it, and his naturally bigger body frame and build made up for the still developing muscles.
Hell, he was now sporting a six pack.
But you knew that he was still not as well as you hoped he would be. The bloodshot eyes he had was proof that he doesn’t sleep well- and you soon found out why.
It was a little past midnight on your night off from patrol, and you were using your break in the best way you could think of- by sleeping. Something woke you up that night.
A soft knock on your door.
You frowned, eyes still closed, wondering who it was.
Bruce would usually knock twice. Strong, clear, and with purpose. Dick would start pounding rapidly on your door, annoying you intentionally. Alfred would give three soft knocks followed by a ‘Miss?’
Your eyes flew open. There was only one other person in the manor.
Throwing your covers aside, you jumped out of bed and rushed to the door to open it.
Jason stood outside your door in the dim lights of the hallway, frowning and running his fingers nervously through his messy dark hair. He was wearing a t-shirt with boxers, standing awkwardly.
“Jason?” you hated how your voice sounded so sleepy. You cleared your throat. “Are you okay? Would you like to come in?”
He nodded silently, and you made way for him to enter before closing the door behind you.
“Sit on the bed,” you told him while jumping back into yours, sitting up cross legged.
The bed dipped when he sat on it, copying your motion and crossed his legs.
You waited for him to say something, your eyes straining to catch his in the dark. But he just remained silent, staring into space and avoiding your eyes.
“How did you know this was my room?” you asked, starting with a light topic.
“Only one that was locked. I already know where everyone else sleeps,” he explained.
“That’s right,” you realised, “I tend to forget that you’re probably even more familiar with the manor than I am.”
“Did you know there’s an old dumbwaiter in Bruce’s room?” you saw him smirk from the shadows that was casted on his face, “I used to hide in there, waiting to catch him off guard.”
“What? Why?”
“Dick and I, we had a bet,” he recalled the memory, “Whoever gets to surprise Bruce first would owe the other a special favor. Only rule was that we had to have it on video as proof.”
You appreciated that moment, the first time he ever spoke about both Dick and Bruce as a fond memory.
“I won, by the way,” he continued, “But- I forgot to press record on my phone.”
“Oh, no,” you groaned for him.
“Yeah, and Dick refused to believe me,” he chuckled, “That old man didn’t want to admit it either. But I swear- the look on his face when I jumped out while he and some model were going at it- priceless.”
Your jaw dropped, and then you burst into a fit of laughter, tears filling your eyes.
“You- you- you jumped out on him while he was having sex?!” you squealed.
“Yeah,” he grinned, “I didn’t even care that it sort of scarred me, because I managed to catch Batman off guard.”
The both of you laughed, his deep voice mingling with your own on that quiet night.
“I’m glad you’re here, Jason,” you smiled warmly at him.
But then, his smile fell.
“I hate my name now.”
“I’m sorry,” you began, “You said it was okay to call you that, so I-”
“No, it’s fine,” he started running his fingers through his hair again, “It’s just- I don’t know.”
“You can tell me anything,” you reassured, “It won’t leave this room. I promise.”
He looked at you, worry in his eyes. “Okay. Fine. Yeah.”
You waited for him to begin.
He took a deep breath. “I’ve been having nightmares. Almost every night. It’s always the same one.”
“You want to tell me about it?” you prompted him after waiting for him to continue.
“I hate my name because he said it a lot. Joker,” he scowled, “After repeatedly burning my skin for my name, it’s like that’s all he said. In that annoying, high pitched, sing-song voice of his. Jason, Jason, Jason. It made me hate my name. It made me hate hearing it.”
“I- I didn’t know how much time passed when I was in there,” he continued, “But, fuck. It was- it was hell. And the worst part was that I kept on waiting for Bruce. Waiting and hoping for him to find me and save me. I was so desperate. You- I-”
He choked on his words. His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips tight.
You wanted to reach out to him, hug him, tell him that everything was okay now. But you didn’t. You waited for him to collect himself so he could finish telling you his story, just like how he wanted to.
“Anyway, I- despite all that,” he sighed, “That was the only thing that kept me sane. I kept on clinging onto the hope that he was out there, searching. And that helped for a while. Until- until that happened.”
He was breathing heavily now, fidgeting more. Jason was definitely getting increasingly agitated the deeper he went.
“Fuck,” he breathed, “Fuck.”
The moment you realised he was crying was when he let out a sniffle. You automatically took his hand in yours, squeezing it as a form of comfort.
“It’s okay,” you told him, “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”
“No,” he shook his head, “I need to. I have to. I can’t take this anymore. Keeping everything in, I feel like I’m about to fucking explode.”
“Okay, then take it slow,” you said, “No rush. Anytime you’re ready.”
He nodded, eyes still closed, as if he was afraid of letting you see him cry.
“One night,” he began, “I think- I don’t know what was different- but I think something went wrong for him. Or right? That’s how it was. Tormenting me was fun, but it was also an outlet for him. But at the same time when he was happy, he also tortured me. He came to me, and- injected me with some sort of drug. That never happened before. He made sure that my head was clear whenever he hurt me so that I could feel everything he did.”
“But- he did- and- immediately, I felt weak,” he continued, “I mean, I was already weak. But my head. It was cloudy. I remember everything clearly, but it was like my brain couldn’t process it, couldn’t communicate with my body. I felt like I was looking out through a window that was my eyes- like I was in someone else’s body, experiencing someone else’s moments.”
“He released me,” Jason’s voice was now barely a whisper. “He released me from the ropes, and I fell to the floor. And then he- he- fuck.”
He let go of your hand and started pulling at his hair, rocking back and forth on your bed. He was sobbing now, his shoulders jerking up in sharp intakes of breaths. The only thing you could do was to stay silent and hold back your own tears.
You rested your hand on his knee, giving him a textile connection with reality so he doesn’t fall into his own thoughts.
“You- he- he- ruh- ruhp-”
Your heart sank to your stomach in horror as you realised what Jason was trying to say. It was as if you were plunged into icy water, chills running down your spine at the true revelation of what he had gone through in that cursed cell.
“Oh, no,” you breathed.
“He pushed me down,” he choked, “Pushed me down and climbed on top. I- I couldn’t even fight him. I was- I was conscious the whole time and I knew what was happening, but I couldn’t fucking do anything.”
Your tears were falling down now, both at the sight of Jason looking so vulnerable and fragile, and at his confession. Not being able to help yourself, you threw your arms over his neck and crashed into his hard body, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
His arms immediately wrapped around you, clutching you so hard it was painful as he buried his own face into your shoulder.
“And he kept on saying my name,” he said in muffled cries, “Jason, Jason, Jason. The whole fucking time. And- and I knew. He didn’t do it for pleasure. He did it to torment me. He- he didn’t even- he didn’t even finish.”
Jason sobbed into your skin for the next few minutes, his tears soaking through your night shirt. “But I did. Even though it was painful. Fuck, the pain was worse than anything he had ever done to me before. But- he- I- I fucking came.”
The both of you were sobbing now, his ragged breaths mingling together with your own on that quiet night.
His grip on you was tight, as if he thought that if he let go, you would disappear. So he clung onto you with all his might to keep you there with him as he recalled the horrific events.
“That's what broke me. I was so disgusted with myself. I hated myself. And he- he saw everything and- and laughed. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke and die. I’ve never seen him laugh like that. And I remember every single fucking moment of being helpless on that fucking floor while he- fuck. Fuck.”
“And then he left. He left me on the floor bleeding and I never saw him again. And I went fucking insane. I tried to kill myself so many fucking times. So many times, I lost count. That’s what I dream about every night. His laughs, and his ‘Jason, Jason, Jason’.”
And that was that. That was the story.
The end of Jason Todd.
The both of you cried long and hard that night in each other’s arms. Eventually, you both lied down on the pillows together, underneath the covers.
“Please don’t tell Bruce,” he whispered to you.
Your head was on his chest, his big arms wrapped around your waist, your legs tangled with his.
You smiled at that. Even with the trauma, even with the sense of abandonment he felt, he still wanted to protect Bruce from knowing the truth.
Because the both of you knew that the truth would kill him.
“I promise,” you whispered back.
And then the both of you fell asleep together.
***
“Has Jason been sleeping in your room with you?” Bruce asked you on one fine Saturday morning at breakfast.
It had been about a week and a half since the first time Jason knocked on your door and poured out his feelings to you.
“He gets nightmares,” you tried to explain.
He thought that if he told you everything, the nightmares would stop. But it didn’t. But he then realised that the only thing that made it better was sleeping by your side, having someone there to wake him up from living his own hell in a loop.
“And do the two of you… Just sleep?” Bruce frowned.
“Yes!” you widen your eyes in horror at the insinuation. “Bruce! Come on!”
“I know you have feelings for him, and I’m sure he does for you as well. But I don’t think something like that is what Jason needs right now,” he stated.
“Yes, I know!” you groaned at the thought having that kind of conversation with him, “Jesus, Bruce. I know. I’m just there to wake him up or help him fall back asleep. Nothing more.”
Bruce nodded, deep in thought. “Has he… told you? About what happened?”
You pursed your lips. “Yes.”
“You’re not going to tell me?”
“No.”
“Hmm,” his frown went deeper. “I understand. He will tell me when he is ready.”
“Exactly,” you smiled, hiding the fact that Jason may never tell Bruce what happened. Never the full story.
“He still hasn’t left the manor?”
“No,” you sighed, “I asked him if he wanted some fresh air. Just outside the main door, not even going down the steps. But he refused. Told me to, and I quote, ‘Fuck off’.”
“Well, he’s only just left the cave, and it’s just to your room,” Bruce thought out loud, “It’s still progress. Especially since he’s been talking to you about the past.”
“He only spoke about it one time,” you said, “And then never again.”
“I see,” he hummed, “And you’re okay with him sleeping with you?”
“Next to me, Bruce, sleeping next to me,” you corrected.
“Yes, and you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” you assured him, “I can kick him out any time I want- but I don’t want to. He looks like a lost puppy sometimes.”
“An angry lost puppy.”
You chuckled at that and couldn’t agree more.
*** While Jason got the sleep he needed when he was next to you, it was counterproductive on your end. You had never been with anyone before, and definitely had not slept on the same bed with another man.
So to feel his body heat and breaths against your skin, his occasional light snores, it made your mind go on hyperdrive.
Most of the time, the two of you would just lie down, your back against his front, or your backs against each other, or both on your backs just staring at the ceiling- and talked. You would be the one talking the most, of course, about anything you could think of. You would tell him about your day, your patrols, something you read about online, or the current news.
But that one particular night during week three of him sleeping next to you, the two of you were silent. It wasn’t an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but the kind of silence that was pleasant and was better described as a peaceful quiet.
You had your back pressed against his front and his arm was lazily draped over your waist. It was a cold night, and you were wearing just a tank top and pyjama shorts, snuggling under the covers that went up all the way to your nose.
Shifting a bit while snuggling comfortably, you pressed yourself against Jason’s body to get more of his heat. But then, you were met with something poking against your lower back.
“Ngh, please ignore that,” Jason huffed.
Oh.
For some reason, you forgot that Jason was a physically healthy male who was capable of having sexual thoughts and feelings. All this while, you thought you were the only one.
“Are you- uh- is that- uh-” you stuttered, feeling your face flush with heat.
Feeling your body suddenly alert with excitement.
“Yes, it’s my fucking penis,” he grit almost angrily, “What, never heard of an erection before?”
“Of course I have!” you argued rather defensively, “It’s just- I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“Why?” he demanded, “You didn’t think I could get it up or something?”
“No, of course not!” you denied, “It just didn’t cross my mind, that’s all.”
A pause. Then-
“Well,” he sighed, “You wouldn’t have been wrong.”
Your mind blanked for a second.
“What do you mean?” you asked softly.
“It’s my- fuck- it’s my first time,” he confessed.
“Your first time getting an erection?” you gasped.
“No, you idiot,” he snapped, “It’s my first time getting hard since… since… then.”
Oh. Oh, you were an idiot.
“It’s just- after that- even when I was downstairs, alone and safe, I- I couldn’t,” he told you, “I kept on thinking back to that time and- and I couldn’t. I found it disgusting.”
And immediately, like someone doused you in cold water, any feeling of horniness you had when you first felt his erection against you disappeared. You just felt so sad for him, but also angry. Angry that he had to go through all of that, and angrier that there was nothing you could do about it.
“So, why do you think you’re getting it now?” you asked. Perhaps talking about it in an objective manner would help guide him through his thought process.
“Are you kidding me?” he scoffed, “You’re fucking pressing your ass against my dick, what did you think would happen?”
“Wait, what?” your eyes widen, “You’re hard because of me?”
“No shit,” he said, “You’re hardly wearing any clothes, too.”
You shouldn’t feel happy due to the circumstance and context, but there you were ecstatic that he found you attractive enough to pop a boner after so long.
“Fuck,” he sighed, suddenly pressing himself closer to you.
His hand that draped over your waist when to actually grip it. Then, then, he grinded his hard on against your ass.
“Mmm,” he rumbled deeply, “Feels good.”
There. That was it. You were once again flooded with the feeling of heat that pooled at your stomach, a tingling sensation started at your core. Feeling hot despite the low temperature of the night, you clenched your thighs together, needing the slight pressure.
“Yeah?” you whispered.
“Yeah,” he grinded on you again, and then unexpectedly let out a chuckle.
“What is it?” you smiled, loving it whenever you heard him laugh.
“I thought… For the longest time, I thought I was broken. That he broke me,” he revealed, “I thought I needed to get all Wingardium Leviosa on this little fucker.”
“Oh my God,” you laughed and groaned at the same time, “You’re so fucking embarassing.”
He laughed along with you and continued. “But now I’m hard and- and horny. You made me feel like I’m normal again. Like I’m sixteen again, and getting horny over everything.”
Sometimes, we take the normal things for granted. Food, shelter, clothes. In this case, it was a goddamned boner. In a way, Jason’s erection was symbolic- however funny it sounded. Getting your sexual appetite and need back after being so traumatised was a massive leap for many people who had experienced the same thing.
It meant that Jason was healing well.
“Does that make you happy?” you asked.
“Not particularly,” he admitted, “But I’m definitely not sad either.”
“That’s good enough for now, then,” you beamed.
“Yeah,” he breathed.
Another few moments of silence. You could feel it, his cock pushing into you. However tempted you were to push back and grind, you held yourself still.
“Uh, Jason?” you voiced.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to like, take care of it?” you asked, “I mean. My bathroom is available. Or- there are many empty rooms.”
“No,” he simply stated.
“No?”
“No.”
“It’s kinda poking into me.”
“Just ignore it.”
“Ignore it?” you gaped, “How can I ignore it? You’re literally pressing it into my ass.”
“Well, then do you want to take care of it?” he teased.
You couldn’t argue back. “Fine, I’ll ignore it.”
He chuckled. “I’ll turn around.”
When he made the movement, you suddenly grabbed him by the wrist. “No, it’s fine. Stay here.”
You expected him to tease you like he usually would, make a crass comment, or even a ‘fuck off’.
Instead, he wrapped his arms around you again in silence, and the both of you drifted to sleep.
***
“Do you think this color suits me?” Natalie asked, holding up a floral red dress.
The four of you were at the mall in Diamond District. Now that high school was over, and everyone would be going off to separate colleges in a few months, you tried to spend time with each other as much as you could.
“Any color suits you, Nat,” you rolled your eyes, “You’re hot stuff.”
“Jesus, it’s like you’re shoving it in our faces at this point,” Sarah added, flipping her brunette hair to the side, tight curls flowing down.
“Aw, you guys,” Nat pretended to tear up, “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!”
“Not again,” Alex groaned, “We’ve been through this so many times.”
“I’m gonna be so miserable without you guys,” Natalie continued on, ignoring Alex’s interruption.
“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged, “I think I’d enjoy New York. I can have pizza parties with the rats in my overpriced apartment.”
You chuckled at Sarah’s joke. Everyone was leaving Gotham except you. Deciding to continue with Robin, you opted for Gotham University- prestigious, old, and most importantly, close to home.
Your phone dinged in your pocket. You opened it to find texts from Dick.
Dick: OH MY GOD. Dick: I’m at the Manor. Dick: Was going to the Cave gym to work out. Dick: AND Dick: JASON IS HERE!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!
That was new. Jason would usually just use whatever basic equipment he had in his room to work out. The fact that he was at the Cave’s sparring area where all the other fancier work out equipment were was out of the ordinary.
You: Just go. See if he reacts. If he suddenly stiffens and just stay there not doing anything, then leave. If he continues on, then it’s okay to stay- but don’t initiate anything! Dick: OKOKOK
You waited anxiously for Dick’s update. All four of you were now walking towards the food court, but you hardly listened to their bickering. Forty-five minutes passed before Dick texted you again.
Dick: OMG HE TALKED TO ME You: What did he say? Dick: He asked me to pass him his towel. You: That’s all he said? Dick: IT’S PROGRESS OKAY!!
Dick was right. It meant that Dick was now the third person Jason had spoken to. Adding another person to his list of contacts was definitely progress.
You were happy for him.
You:Is he still there? Dick: Nah he left Dick: But WOW he’s looking good. He must have been really going at it. I think he might get bigger than me soon You: All he does now is work out. He’s obsessed. Dick: Yeah I can tell
You decided to leave it at that for now and try to concentrate on your friends, but Dick sent another message.
Dick: ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX?!?!
You spat out your drink, earning weird looks from everyone.
You: DICK!!!! WTF NO!!
Dick never replied.
***
“Can I ask you for a favor?” Jason asked, his voice breaking the silence of your dark room. The two of you were on your bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling.
“Of course,” you said. It didn’t matter to you what Jason asks for. He hardly ever asked for anything.
“Could you… Take me out tomorrow?” he requested, “If you’re not doing anything else, that is.”
“Uh, sure!” you nodded, surprised. “Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere,” he shrugged, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, okay,” you hesitated, “But- are you sure? I mean, you don’t have to go so far so quickly. Maybe you should start with just going to the backyard?”
“No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. “I’m not a kid.”
“Okay then,” you agreed. “Tomorrow.”
You kept on glancing anxiously at him the next day as he climbed into the passenger seat of your car. He was quiet, but looked perfectly fine.
Switching the engine on, you drove out of the garage and out the large automatic gates. Trees soon surrounded the lonely road on both sides as you descended downhill into town.
“So where are we going?” he asked.
“I thought Robinson Park would be nice,” you said. It was around three in the afternoon, yet Gotham was dark as though the day was ending. It was cloudy, skies grey and wind blowing.
“You’re taking me to a park?” he scoffed.
“It’s more quiet than anywhere else,” you reasoned with him, “Less people. Spacious. Lots of greenery.”
“Whatever.”
Reaching the parking space of the park, you noticed that there were a few cars. Mothers and nannies liked to bring children out to the park around that time. Joggers and teens, college students and retired elderly seeking a little escape from the high rise buildings of concrete and glass.
You turned the engine off and proceeded to open the door, only then noticing Jason stiffening. Looking over to him, you saw that his eyebrows were pulled down in a deep frown, his jaw clenched, his hands in fists on his knees.
You didn’t say anything or make any comment. Leaning back into your seat, you waited until Jason was ready.
About five minutes passed before he took a deep breath, gave you a nod, and then opened his door.
The two of you walked along a path at the park, going deeper inside and further away from your car. There were a few joggers around, some tourists, and some teens taking photos. You saw a group of kids in the distance playing frisbee, and the others were walking their dogs.
An empty bench stood in the middle of the park, overlooking a clearing. You headed there, Jason following closely behind.
“It’s a bit gloomy today,” you pouted, “As if Gotham could be anything other than that, of course.”
You looked at Jason.
He looked like a scared dog being brought out for the first time.
His jittery knees were bouncing rapidly, his wide eyes were darting at every movement, his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his breathing was heavy.
“Woah, woah,” you reached out to him, putting an arm on his back. “It’s okay. I’m here. Just listen to me talk, yeah?”
“Yeah,” he gulped.
“Try to calm your breathing,” you instructed, “Deep breaths, Jason. In… out… In… Out… Yeah, see that’s great.”
“Yeah,” he breathed, now calmer. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” you smiled warmly, “You’re doing just fine.”
“No, I’m not,” he strained, “I feel like everything is too big. Too vast. The fucking sky looks like it’s going to crash down on me and at the same time suck me up into a void.”
“And despite all you’re feeling right now, you’re not breaking down or anything, are you?” you tried, “You’re okay, Jason. This is progress.”
“I guess,” he sighed, “I’m just- I’m so used to having four walls and a ceiling. Now everything feels too big.”
“I understand,” you empathized, “Whenever you want to go back, just say the word. Or we can even just go and sit in the car. No problem.”
“Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” he stood up.
The walk back to the car was faster.
“Fuck, I’m so fucking pathetic,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.
“No, you’re not,” you reassured him, “That was great, Jason. Come on, it was your first time outside in two years and a half. Cut yourself some slack.”
“I’m so fucking broken,” he choked.
“Don’t say that,” you scolded, “You’re not broken. And you know what, even if you think you are, we can always fix it. Baby steps. Maybe we can do this once a week. We were out for like, ten minutes? Next week we’ll try fifteen. How’s that sound?”
“Twice a week,” he stated, “I just want to be normal again.”
“Okay, twice a week, then,” you agreed, “We’ll try again in a couple of days, okay?”
“Okay,” he paused, “Thank you.”
“No problemo,” you grinned, “Would you like to stay here a bit longer or shall we go back?”
“Let’s go back.”
“Wanna stop by the diner? You can wait in the car while I ask for a take-away?”
“...okay.”
***
Jason and you had gone out twice more. Once three days after the first time, and the other a week later. The second time he went out, he lasted twenty minutes, though you were sure he was being stubborn on his part. He looked like he was having a heart attack, but he insisted on staying until he hit the twenty minute mark.
The third time, he was much much better. Surprisingly so. The two of you sat down on that bench for half an hour, with you even leaving him alone for a few minutes to get two ice cream cones.
After that, you took him for a drive around the city. He seemed to be more comfortable in the car, so you went all the way from Robinson Park to Diamond District, and back to the manor.
Bruce seemed very pleased with your update, and you swore you could see him actually smile.
“Thank you,” he had told you. “You’ve done more than I could have ever asked of you.”
“It’s no problem, Bruce. Really,” you reassured him.
“I’m his father. He is my responsibility. It’s my fault he’s even in that state. I wish I could do more for him,” he said solemnly.
“The fact that you understand what he needs is more than helpful, Bruce,” you smiled, “Not many parents can do that. You understand and respect him. That’s enough for now.”
He simply nodded.
Ever since your scheduled outings, Jason had become more and more relaxed whenever he was in the manor. He now walked to the kitchen on occasion to mess with Alfred while he cooked meals for him, sometimes sitting in the living room lounging on the couch while reading. Most of the time, though, he was down at the sparring zone of the Cave, working out.
But at night, he would never fail to knock on your door.
And at that particular night, you found yourself in the same situation again while lying down on your side with your back to his front, for the fifth time.
“You officially have to stop calling yourself broken,” you grumbled, “Because that thing poking into my ass is definitely not broken.”
He chuckled lowly. “You complaining, sweetheart?”
Oh, and yes. Jason now had started calling you ‘sweetheart’. Why? You had no clue. It was just a thing that happened. The look on your face when he first slipped it in was probably a sight to behold.
“No shit, I’m complaining, Jason,” you groaned, “You haven’t jerked off, yet? Not even once?”
“Nope,” he popped the P, “I just… I don’t want to… I don’t want to come.”
You sighed, understanding the situation. He had been disgusted with himself because he had ejaculated when Joker… Well, that. You hated to even think about it, so you always shoved the thought away.
“But unfortunately for me, I still get super horny,” he rumbled deeply, pushing his hips into you even more, “So fucking horny.”
“And then I have to suffer,” you complained.
“I can assure you, blue balls are more painful than something poking into you,” he bickered.
“It’s not that…”
“Then?”
“I get horny too, come on man,” you whined, “I’m a hormonal teenage girl. What did you expect?”
“You get horny too?” he whispered after a pause.
“Uh, yeah,” you admitted nervously. Somehow, the mood shifted, and your heart started drumming against your chest.
“Because of me?” he asked.
“Not you specifically, I mean,” you tried to back track, “You’re… Your dick pressing up against me like that, I mean, come on, Jason.”
“Simple question sweetheart,” he told you, “You get horny because of me, yes or no?”
You gulped. “Yes.”
Fuck, why did you say yes? You could have lied. You could have not answered.
“Yeah?” he breathed. You noticed that his hand was now on your hip, right above the waistband of your sleeping shorts, drawing circles onto your skin with his thumb.
You were nervous. The butterflies in your tummy was not helping you calm down.
“Yeah,” you squeezed your eyes shut, as if to protect yourself from anything he had to say.
“Fuck,” he groaned, gripping your hips and grinding his hard on against your ass even more. And did it… Fuck, did it get even harder?
Afraid of saying the wrong thing, and also out of nervousness, you remained silent. Jason’s chest rose and fall against your back, his respiratory rate increasing. His pinky finger slid underneath the waistband, testing the waters before slowly slipping his hand into your pants.
He went in so slowly, as if waiting for you to tell him no, to rip his hand away, to wrench yourself away from him. But you never did, so he went in deeper, caressing the skin beneath your pelvic bone, his heat just burning into you.
“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he commented, voice suddenly husky.
“I don’t wear them to bed,” you informed him.
“You mean to tell me,” he growled, “That all this while I’ve been sleeping next to you and you never had your panties on?”
“It’s more comfortable that way,” you mumbled.
“Jesus Christ,” he cursed. “Thank God I never knew. Would have been torture, and trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”
“Jason,” you gasped.
“It’s true,” he said, “Damn, sweetheart.”
He went lower, closer to your center.
Your core was tingly, small pulses of electricity buzzed through your body as Jason came closer and closer and closer and-
He slipped his hands between your closed thighs and cupped you.
“Mmm,” he moaned softly, “Warm. Fuzzy.”
“Fuzzy?” you laughed, even though you felt like screaming on the inside. Screaming for more.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, burying his face into your nape, taking a deep breath. “You smell nice.”
Oh, shit. You totally forgot about Jason’s aversion to strong smells.
“I’m sorry!” you quickly apologised, “I can switch to an unscented shampoo as well so it wouldn’t be too strong for you.”
“It’s fine,” he said, “I like it on you.”
He ground his hand into your center harder.
“Mmpf, Jay,” you breathed, “What are you doing?”
“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’ve never touched a girl like this before.”
“Really?” you widen your eyes in surprise.
“I was kept in a cell for two years, I couldn’t exactly talk, let alone touch, anyone can I?” he quipped.
“Right.”
“Teach me,” he said.
“What?” you whispered despite knowing what he meant.
A pause of silence. A deep intake of breath, a slow exhale.
“Teach me how to touch you,” he purred.
Fuck, you felt like exploding.
“Are you sure?” you asked.
“Yes. If you… If you want to.”
Your mind quickly tried to analyse the situation. Bruce had specifically said that Jason didn’t need any complicated matters in the relationship. It made sense. You didn’t want to overwhelm Jason with any confusion or uncertainty.
But at the same time, you’ve been figuring out how Jason thought, bit by bit. He’s told you many times that he just wanted to be normal again, to feel normal, to do normal things. And this was something that was normal, that he should do, that he wanted to do.
And you knew that he probably would take the rejection even worse.
“O-Okay,” you agreed.
Slowly, you separated your thighs, raising the one on top and hooking it over his legs behind you. Due to your shift in position, you felt the minute Jason’s fingers dip slightly into your folds.
“So, uh, this is my first time with a guy as well,” you squeaked, “But I’ll try to guide you.”
You licked your lips.
“Uhm, well, I guess you can start by running a finger up and down between my- oh! Yes, just like that.”
His middle finger slid down to your opening, and then up again slowly. His movements were uncertain, brushing only slightly against your clit unintentionally.
It was different, having someone else touch you. Somehow, despite the inexperience, it just felt better.
“Holy fuck,” he gasped, “You’re so fucking wet. Do you usually get this wet?”
You felt your cheeks heat up. “No? Yes? I don’t know! I can’t feel it.”
“Shit.”
You let him play with you some more, his fingers sliding up and down, sometimes pressing against your fleshy parts, sometimes circling and gathering your wetness, sometimes just parting your lips. Hell, he even tapped the tips of his fingers on you randomly or brushed into your delicate fuzz. You knew he was just exploring, feeling you for the first time.
And that thought made you smile and sigh.
“Teach me how to make you feel good,” he rasped.
“Uh, so your fingers are wet, right?”
“Yeah. Because you’re leaking all over them.”
“Okay, good. Now find my clit. It’s slightly above your finger, okay, to the left a bit. More. Okay, there! Yeah, right there,” you sighed, finally feeling that delicious pressure.
“Here?”
He tapped your clit.
“Ah!” you moaned, “Yes- but don’t just- nevermind, just gently circle it. Clockwise.”
He obeyed, and hell since when did Jason just obey?
He circled you gently, like you said. But he also went so, so slow.
“Faster, Jay,” you panted.
He went faster, making you groan in pleasure.
“Like this, sweetheart?” he muttered, his voice low and cracking, and sexy, and husky. You’ve never heard him sound like that before, and it drove you wild.
“Yeah,” you breathed, “Yeah, just like that. Fuck.”
“Feel good?”
“So good, Jay. Press a little harder now- fuck. Fuck. Yes, perfect. Just like that.”
The pressure built as his fingers did their magic.
“You- you’re surprisingly good at that,” you stuttered, “You sure- mmm- you sure you’ve never done this before?”
“Despite what you think,” he husked in your ear, warm breath tickling you. “I’m very good at following instructions.”
“I can see that.”
“But I’m also good at improvising.”
“Wha- oh. Oh. Fuck! Jason! Oh my fucking god!”
He started pressing even harder, and going even faster, throwing away the slow build you were going for and instead pushing you towards orgasm fast and hard, as if he was determined to prove something to you.
“Feel good, sweetheart?” he purred, “You gonna come soon?”
“Oh my- fuck, yes! Fuck, don’t stop!”
“You want to come for me?” his deep voice rumbled.
“Yes!”
What the hell? When did he learn how to talk like that?
Because with the mix of his heavy pants, his low voice coaxing you, his barrage of pleasure at your clit, you felt the familiar tightening of your core. You threw one hand back and found his hair. Running your fingers through them, you gripped them tight and pulled.
You pulled on his hair as he forced the orgasm onto you.
“Oh my God. Jason, I’m gonna- fuck- I’m- fuck- ah!”
You moaned loudly as you felt your walls flutter, clenching over nothing as you reached your high.
“O-okay, stop, fuck,” your hand went from his hair to his wrist, stilling him. He withdrew his hands from your pants, and went to grip you tight again by the waist.
“Fucking hell, sweetheart,” he groaned, grinding into you. You pushed your ass back, feeling his hardened length against your flesh in your post-orgasm bliss. “Jesus, that was so hot.”
“That was- yeah,” you giggled, “Fuck.”
His face was still buried in your neck. You could feel his lips on your skin.
“Uhm, I can, you know,” you sputtered, “Try to help you out?”
“It’s fine,” he breathed, body still tight against yours, “Just go to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” you asked again, feeling guilty that he didn’t get off. “I don’t mind.”
“I do,” he said, “It’s okay, sweetheart. That was great. I enjoyed that. I told you, I don’t want to come.”
“Okay,” you sighed.
“Go to bed.”
“Thank you, Jason.”
“Fuck, I’m so horny.”
“Jason,” you whined, “Really, I can help-”
“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, “Goodnight.”
You pursed your lips.
“Goodnight.”
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AAhh I really like 45 it pushed the story along while also being just hilarious and touching and it was just so good!! 46 was just pokemon battles...
OBEY ME! LESSON 45 DETAILED SUMMARY
At breakfast the most of the brothers crowd around MC and ask them how different appliances work, Asmo apologizes for them and then immediately asks MC something as well and well Belphie calls him out on it he says he hasn't been in the human world for a really long time and things have changed. Beel says that the human world progresses so fast that it makes him dizzy and Asmo says maybe it feels like that since the devildom doesn't progress. Lucifer tells MC to get ready to leave once they're done eating (still on the white couches is2g this pisses me off so much) and when MC asks him wtf he says oh yeah forgot you nearly died while Solomon told you about getting a sorcerer's license. MC's got a meeting with Solomon and Beel & Lucifer were asked to come along. Mammon & Asmo protest cause they can't tag along.  Belphie says that Beel and Lucifer were probably chosen cause they'll at least appear as mature functioning adults.
They meet up with Solomon in front of the Sorcerer's Society HQ, which according to Solomon is filled with "Pompous Uptight Bureaucrats". It provides assistance to sorcerer's living in the human world and provides them with first a provisional license and then a full license that'll allow them to practice magic as they pls more or less. Lucifer's like; that's great and all but why the fuck are we here. And Solomon tells him that he'll understand when they get inside. Lucifer says that sounds exactly like something someone who was seconds away from causing problems would say and he tells MC to brace themself.
The backgrounds for both these lessons are really good! Right so when they walk in sorcerers start ooing and awing over Beel and Lucifer - they've never seen them irl before, one even wants their autographs. Apparently Solomon's apprentice taming the 7 rulers was believed to be an urban legend?????????? I dunno imagine going from being a normal human to becoming an urban legend amongst sorcerers? Lucifer thinks Solomon brought them along just to boost MC's reputation (ohhh the poor man). Solomon reveals that he isn't on good terms with the society (is it even a surprise?) and being his apprentice would just make things harder for MC and that he established the society with his previous apprentice long ago but they had a falling out and now that apprentice runs the society (is it sad that there's a huge possibility that the falling out could be food related?). Solomon says he brought the brothers as bodyguards for his cute apprentice/charming apprentice/favourite pupil (If he keeps talking like that whoever runs this place is gonna deck MC) since back in the Celestial Realm the two of the were known as "the two greatest champions and protectors of the CR". Beel gets pissed off cause he thinks this means Solomon is putting MC in danger and Solomon says 'lol that's definitely not who I'm putting in danger' and when Lucifer picks up on that and questions Solomon on it he goes 'man look at the time we really gotta go get MC registered WOW'. The dude at the reception uses his staff to etch a magic seal that's the society's crest on to the back of MC's hand (I really feel like you should tell someone beforehand that you're gonna give them what is basically a tattoo? Also cant wait for that butcher to see this and the rest of MC's harem and come to the conclusion that they're in a cult) which consists of  3 staves and 7 stars signifying the 3 Magis who are believed to have invented magical arts and the 7 virtues (is it bad that before i even started om i knew what the 7 sins were but only had a vague knowledge about the 7 virtues? I wouldn't have been able to name them all without this lesson :/ anyway they're humility, generosity, gratitude, patience, chastity, temperance and diligence. Something i really like is that the brothers have all displayed the virtues that directly oppose their sins on a semi regular to regular basis).  To get their license apprentuces must earn the seven stars via passing 7 trials with the first of the trials being set and judged by their master. (ok so I assumed each test would focus on a brother and MC'd earn the star that opposes each brother's sin and would pass the test by learning and displaying the virtue of that star. But that isn't what happened here? If anything the test was there to teach Lucifer humility? Is that how it will go? will each test somehow focus on MC helping the brothers learn and display their opposing virtue even though all of them have already displayed this virtue to some extent?  I mean I guess the main point of the tests were to show that MC could control the brothers so that makes sense? but even though this test did focus on making Lucifer let go of his pride, the test was about MC learning to control Beel's power and these two lessons are very much focused on Beel so was the star they earned actually temperance? Even though the test didn't have anything to do with that virtue? Ahh i have so many questions about how the stars are earned and neither lesson really clarify it and if anyone wants to come debate about this???)
ANYway Solomon uses a spell to bind Lucifer in place, which pisses Beel off, tho when MC stays calm and just observes what happens Solomon is pleased assessing a situation before taking action is important (Ive had this HC for a while now but solomon is definitely the kinda teacher who throws you into the deep end with just a cryptic warning and watches with a smile as you try to figure out how to not die, if you do something particularly amusing while struggling he'll give you another cryptic hint, occasionally he'll yell out praise with that smile of his even if it looks like you're actively drowning and dying and failing). They start to get an audience while Lucifer threatens Solomon and shifts into his demon form and goes also im still fucking pissed off about that lunch so/ Beel also shifts and threatens Solomon, tho lucifer tells him to stand down cause he wants to murder solomon on his own and that a mere binding spell won't hold him down, Solomon's like Jeez chill it's for MC's exam you fucknugget and Lucifer's like oh shit yeah but you know i'll actually kill you for this later and Solomon's like yeah that's cool and also imma use my powers to make you into the size of a barbie doll and lucifer's like what-  MC then proceeds to lose their shit over a tiny blushing Lucifer. MC's test is to keep lucifer safe for 24 hours which would be fine if they you know didn't live with the other 5.  which is actually what lucifer says when Beel says it'll be easy if they just stay at home cause home according to lucifer also contains his '5 greatest enemies'. MC's job is to protect Lucifer from them without using any commands on anyone other than beel, and the goal is for them to be able to fully command beel like they did with Asmo in S1 against Henry 1.0. Beel is not allowed to act on his own to protect lucifer and can only act on MC's commands.  Beel agrees, Lucifer swears and Solomon asks MC about their confidence levels. MC can promise one of the three of them that they won't mess up.  Solomon says he'll stay in the house with them so that he can judge and Lucifer's more or less like; you're having fun aren't you and solomon says Duh.
So they end up at the café where predictably Luke & Simeon end up screaming and laughing at a blushing pissed off mini Luci, Simeon tells him they physically cannot laugh cause of course big scary Lucifer is now in Simeon’s words ‘Teeny-Tiny” & how he’s so cute he wants to keep him in a jar as a pet (God I love this lesson).  He says Michael would love to see this and when Lucifer yells at him he completely ignores him to poke his cheek (V Relatable). Luke also wants to join in on the fun but Lucifer is a little bitch to him and as retaliation for scaring their son MC pokes luci on the cheek too. Beel laments about wanting to poke luci on the cheek too and when Solomon tells the others to stop teasing lucifer, luci goes, EXCUSE ME WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Beel notes that luci now smells human. When luke asks about the smelling thing beel says that all 3 species? races? Smell different. Simeon marvels at how much humiliation PrideTM is willing to take cause he’s simping for MC. Luci tells them to shut tf up cause unless they come up with a plan to deal with his hell children they’re probably going to kill him the second he steps foot inside the house. Beel tells MC to use his powers. Luci says they should be able to draw out Beel’s powers like they did Asmo’s in S1. Solomon says since he gave them a power up in S1 simply saying the incantation won’t work this time around and they must first fully understand Beel and his nature to be able to do that. MC has a flashback to the Butcher and his relationship advice and then asks Beel what he thinks they should do to be able to better understand him (while I do think ideally this is the right choice, in context with the other two choices, to me, this is the ONLY choice cause the other two come off as slightly yandere on mc’s part). Beel chooses spending time together via sleepover. But obviously Luci will have to come along and Solomon invites himself along too cause he’s still the judge.  Simeon’s sad about not being able to join in and luke is TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS OKAY!?!?
Outside the house Luci, Beel and MC all make pledges like they’re invading enemy territory; Lucifer: Swear you won’t let your guard down. Beel: Swear to protect Lucifer with your life. MC, 100% seriously: I Swear. Solomon: Are yall fucking serious??? These are your fucking brothers???? You practically raised them??? Lucifer: Have you ever actually met my brothers???? Beel: You legit think they won’t give up their lives just to fuck with lucifer for a day? When Solomon asks what lucifer ever did to make them hate him so much he says he doesn’t know. And look while “locking me up in the fucking attic for a whole year”, “not acknowledging that you’re actually my father and taking some fucking responsibility” and “blaming every minor inconvenience in your life on my very existence” are all very valid reasons none of them actually hate him right, cause I mean using every chance you get to fuck with your siblings is just part of being a sibling?  Which is what Beel and MC both tell Lucifer. Lucifer doesn’t believe them and actually seems sad about it. Solomon said “while I do find the complicated interpersonal dynamics of your family fascinating” my ass is freezing out here. …Do you think they’re like solomon’s favourite show??? I mean Solomon’s old as shit and probably doesn’t remember what it’s like to have a family, and before MC, Simeon and the student exchange he didn’t really have anybody so do you think he just watches the brothers + MC like ‘damn, this shit is wild’????????????????? The instant they enter the house, someone casts a spell and they’re pulled into a portal. The fuck did you say about everyone loving Lucifer, says Solomon while making direct eye contact with Beel. They fall through endless darkness and MC tells them to chill cause it only feels like they’re falling. They end up in a weird ballroom/royal courtroom kinda place, which Solomon marvels. Beel & MC recognize the place as a location from one of levi’s games and meet Levi in his TSL clothes who welcomes MC as the ‘hero’.
Beel, Luci & Sol kinda just wordlessly stare at levi with tired expressions and MC being the bro they are plays along with levi by asking if he is who they think he is. He introduces himself as The Lord of Shadows, the ruler of all 7 lands. Lucifer: WTF. Beel says they don’t have time for games and Levi gets upset that they’re making him look pathetic. Levi gives MC their mission – to save the world by defeating the demon lord satan. Lucifer tells Solomon to get the fuck out of there. Solomon says he can’t considering he has no idea where the fuck they are in the first place. Beel politely asks ‘his majesty’ the way to pantry and Levi yells at them to take it seriously. Beel says well ok and explains the whole test thing to levi as a way to explain why they can’t play. Levi says satan already knows this. After that there’s a flash and black smoke starts curling up around the room and satan turns up in his demon form. And LOOK I hate satan’s demon form outfit but it actually looks really good in this context??? The feather boa and ribbon bow thing really works with the curling black smoke, evil demon lord look. It probably helps that you can’t see his bottom half. Anyway Satan turns out to just be a magical projection and he says, well you’ll have to come to me cause I kidnapped your boyfriend, while Diavolo calls out to Lucifer and MC from off screen. Diavolo had run away from the devildom to surprise the brothers. While Lucifer scolds Diavolo and while Diavolo apologizes, Satan tells they must all come to him along with the “obnoxious talking doll”. Lucifer: the fuck did you just say. Ok this part is really cute; Satan: “I’ll be seeing you MC.” Diavolo, still off screen: Can’t wait to see you MC! Luicfer has a migraine. When Beel tries to say they should head off, Levi tells them they forgot something in RPGs. MC, still dutifully in character, asks the lord of shadows to give them aid. Levi gives them 100 grimm and just anekfnsndfjn the fuck can they do with just 100 grimm. Which is what both Beel and Luci say. Solomon says, well maybe they’re just fucking poor around here so everything here is cheap. Levi gives them a talisman to protect themselves with, Lucifer says cool, but once this is over I’m gonna beat your ass :) Levi says he just bought a new game that lets you create your own story and he just wanted to play it with them :(
So they end up in a cute lil’ game village & beel wants to go to a tavern but lucifer says they need to buy equipment first. If MC asks a NPC they just repeat the same line about how great life is under levi’s rule over and over again, if they search in the grass they find some medicinal herbs but beel immediately eats them, if they break a barrel Solomon starts breaking open barrels too and they get yelled at by lucifer. They end up in No. 2’s armoury. Lucifer’s fed up with life. Solomon says the gear looks like shit and Beel says it makes sense since this is only the first town. When Beel tries to ask 2 for food he repeats his introductory dialogue over and over again. With the money they have they’re able to buy gear for Solomon and MC and the only thing that fits Lucifer is the fairy outfit,,,, I’m NOT fucking wearing that says lucifer off screen and God I love this lesson. Solomon and MC are both little shits and can you just imagine them trying to convince lucifer to wear it just to test it out? Fucking amazing. MC tries to haggle/talk with 2 so they could get armour for beel but he says buddy I’m running a business here BUT there’s a monster in the casino that cheats ppl of their mone– Lucifer & Beel simultaneously: Oh, Mammon. So basically, if they can get 2’s money back he’ll offer them a huge discount on the lord of flies armour.  They decide to find an inn for the night before they face Mammon.
Lucifer finds it hard to eat food. Solomon: Cause you’re tiny ^.^   Beel: Wonder whose fault that is :I  MC can either offer to cut it for him (He thanks MC and tells them to feed him too. Entitled Fuck. Solomon & Beel also want to be fed but Lucifer tells them to fuck off) or tell him to just open wide and take a bite (Lucifer says if he gets too close to the food Beel would probably accidentally eat him). Beel says the food is a lot like devildom food and MC asks him if he likes devildom food or human food, Beel says all food is good. Since they don’t have much money MC & beel and Solomon & Lucifer end up sharing beds with Lucifer telling Solomon to use a spell to keep himself still during the night to avoid accidentally killing lucifer in his sleep. There isn’t a spell for that. At night, Beel asks lucifer if he thinks Satan still hates him and gets “…” in response. Assuming Lucifer is asleep he asks MC what they think. MC says they think Satan just can’t admit that he likes Lucifer. Beel says if that’s what they think then it’s okay cause he just wants Satan to love lucifer like the rest of them do. MC asks Beel if he’s worried about lucifer (Beel says Lucifer wouldn’t want him to worry but… and that he wants to be there when lucifer needs help) or says that Beel really loves Lucifer (Beel happily agrees that he does). Beel then tells MC about how he and Lucifer first met: So back when Beel was an angel, according to him the only thing good about him was that he was strong so he decided to become a soldier except he couldn’t control his strength and always ended up breaking things which led to Raphael always saying something sarcastic to him. The whole thing was depressing for him until one day lucifer came over, sat beside him and talked with him. Lucifer was always really busy and spent most of his days deep inside the palace (places where Beel has never even been to before). He told beel that a soldier was not about attacking but instead about protecting, that protecting was what was most important. He’d told beel that he was special cause he had the power to protect everyone and keep them safe (this shit is the sweetest and it has me sobbing but also that must have hit like a bullet when Lilith died…). Lucifer had told Beel if he learnt to control his powers then Lucifer would recommend him as a Cherubim, gatekeeper. Lucifer had given Beel confidence and his post as a gatekeeper. Which is why Beel wants to protect him, cause he loves and respects Lucifer. He says all his brothers love Lucifer cause if they didn’t they never would have considered leaving the celestial realm. He says that even though Satan’s situation is different he isn’t the same as he was before MC came around and that Beel likes the new satan better. And that he actually likes all his brothers more since MC came around, which is why he likes MC so much too. MC gets to either kiss, hug or thank him. Beel says his powers are there so that he can protect both Lucifer and MC. And FUCK I love this backstory so much????? And I desperately need all the other backstories?
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Ok, ok, ok, ok. I am way too focus on this but I really really wanted to list out every Star Trek ship (from TNG, DS9, and VOY cause those are the ones I have seen most of) I could think of and give my opinion on it. Why? Because I don’t wanna do my math test. Lets go down the spiral of hyperfixation and little impulse control. (FYI, this became a long ass post, so read through if you want or don’t lol)
Let’s start from the beginning. 
The Next Generation: (aka gays that all share one smart brain cell) 
Picard x Crusher: Honestly, I like their chemistry, and if it became canon I would be alright with that. No real strong feelings on this ship.
Picard x Q: The epitome of enemies to lovers slow burn in 300k words. The sexual tension is too much to handle, I absolutely adore these two. They probably fucked once and Picard regrets it immeasurably. 
Picard x Riker: Nah, not for me. But you do you dudes.
Riker x Troi: Again, I quite like these two together. Two Bi Icons getting together, I’m here for it. 
Riker x Worf: Eh, Worf isn’t really a fav of mine so that makes me bias against this ship. It cool tho.
Riker x Crusher: *war flashbacks to when Crusher had sex with a Trill worm that was inside currently inside Riker’s body* Haha, fuck no. 
Troi x Crusher: Two queens getting together and tearing down the patriarchy, I stan.
Troi x Tasha: I tend to block out season one of TNG from my mind, but honestly, I like the vibe.
Data x Geordi: My OTP for this show. It should have happened. Rick Berman is a coward. They are just so sweet and they understand each other like no one else. A few of their scenes in this show made me cry. I ship
Data x Tasha: Nah, I don’t vibe. Would have been better as mlm and wlw solidarity. 
Worf x Troi: They had a few cute scenes together in the later seasons, I don’t hate neither super enjoy.
Deep Space Nine: (aka no straights in space)
Sisko x Kasidy: I liked them better in the early seasons. I think the writers low-key forgot about Kasidy until she was convenient plot device. 
Kira x Odo: I preferred it in the first few seasons where Odo had a little crush on Kira and it was kinda adorable. But after their relationship had become canon in the later seasons I was kinda disappointed.
Kira x Jadzia: I am here for this ship, two powerful women ready to take on the world together but also have their own insecurities that come up as the situation arises. Immaculate, I want it.
Dukat x Kira: Fuck no, they are enemies. Idk why the DS9 writers thought it would be a great idea to pair THESE two together. But thank god for Nana Visitor for being such a queen. 
Odo x Quark: Again, another amazing enemies to lovers ship. I love seeing those two on screen together, their chemistry is just *chef’s kiss*.
Miles x Keiko: Miles is like, the token heterosexual on this show. He loves his wife, his kids, and his job.
Bashir x Garak: Fuck yeah, OTP of this show for me gang. It was so heavily implied and it would have been so cool to see, especially in the 90s. But oh well, at least we got the actors writing and performing fanfiction for us.
Bashir x Jadzia: Yeah no, I wouldn’t ship them romantically. And the writers definetly did not favors to Bashir when they make his crush on her a bit creepy in the early seasons. But would be a BROTP for me.
Bashir x Ezri: Hnng, I don’t like. It just feels like Bashir is trying to date the Jadzia he never had and I don’t like it.
Jadzia x Worf: It’s fine, I guess. I don’t really see the chemistry.
Ezri x Jake: I mean, it’s better than Ezri x Bashir, but like, Dax has known Jake over 3 lifetimes and watched him grow up soooo, nah.
Jake x Ziyal: I am a fan. I think these two would have been really cool together especially since they are both artistic people with Jake’s writing and Ziyal’s painting. They could have done some really cool stuff together. Plus, it would make some interesting family reunion moments between Dukat and Sisko hehe.
Jake x Nog: Again, I am a fan. Tol and smol dynamics are what I am here for.
Garak x Ziyal: No
Voyager: (aka gays lost in space)
Janeway x Chakotay: The of the few straight ships I would die for. I am quite disappointed that nothing ever formed between the two because it would have been really cute and oh my god the tension the writers made between the two. I feel baited for this ship, AND IT’S A STRAIGHT SHIP! I’m sorry I have feelings about this. 
Janeway x Seven: Not a top ship of mine but I definitely see the chemistry here and I support it. 
Janeway x Paris: I only bring this up because in like season 1 or 2 they have axolotl children together because the writers were probably high as a kite when they came up with this idea for an episode. But a hard pass. 
Janeway x Coffee: I’m pretty sure this is already canon and I stan. 
Chakotay x Seven: I haven’t completely finished Voyager yet but I heard that this is the endgame for the two and WTF. I don’t see or understand it and it makes me upset, like really upset.
Chakotay x B’elanna: I’m just glad this wasn’t canon. I more just bring it up because I remembered B’elanna had a crush on Chakotay in the early seasons before Tom. And like, I get it because if Chakotay was my commanding officer I’d probably crush too girl. 
B’elanna x Paris: It’s a canon ship that I honestly kinda like. There are some moments where I’m like “oh no” and other where I’m like “YES”. But overall, I enjoy it. I just feel like there is something missing.
Paris x Kim: Fuck yea, I love these two together. Two bros turned lovers I am fucking here for it my dudes. But again, I feel like there is something else missing here.
B’elanna x Paris x Kim: Oh hell yea, I found what was missing. This is my personal OTP of Voyager. In my head I think Kim and B’elanna are just really close friends who do engineering things together. While Paris is in the corner, loving them both, but also setting the Delta Flyer on fire for the third time this week. I haven’t really looked into the Voyager tag (because spoilers) so idk if this is a popular ship. But I think they all have some really fun chemistry and I enjoy it. 
Paris x Delta Flyer: This just came to my head 20 seconds ago as I wrote the last one but I’m pretty sure this one is already canon. 
Kim x Seven: Nah
Seven x The Doctor: Hmm, do I dislike it as much as I do Seven x Chakotay? No, I do not. But do I like it that much? No, no I do not. I ship them as friends.
Tuvok x Nelix: No, not really. Opposites attract is not really my cup of tea all the time.
Nelix x Kes: Oh damn, I almost forgot about Kes. I know this is canon but where did this come from. The writers NEVER EXPLAIN IT! And then they never explain why the later broke up. I just... I just don’t understand. 
I doubt I have covered every ship, these were just the ones that came to me while writing this. Also, these are just my personal opinions please don’t come for my knees.
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Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.
He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.
3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”
He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).
I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after! 
(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).
When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick)  he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone. 
I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW. 
He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.
When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me. 
I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every  creators here I want my edits to get notes. 
I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it. 
Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular. 
He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I  finally forgot about it. 
My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).
I really understood who he was then. 
He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore. 
a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally. 
And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that. 
 In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke.  Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset  from the movie and no, just stop dude.  Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee  and in my head  it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work.  I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something. 
He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one.  it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is. 
Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow. 
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Mass Effect Tag
Wellio, I’ve been tagged by @berryshiara. Passing this on to @grummel83
Gunna answer my questions now. Y’all feel free to tell me what you think of these answers. ​
I’m a fan since: 2008. I was just out of high school and still not over KoTOR. I was fresh in the army and got to talking to some other dude fresh to the army about video games. He asked me if I played Mass Effect. I said no. By the next day I just about totally forgot about him, then he suddenly appeared out of nowhere sat in front of me in the chow hall and pulled a copy of ME1 for Xbox 360 out his pocket like he was a magician doing a magic trick (ACU pockets are huge.)
Anyway turns out that guy was a romance option and I must have picked the right dialogue options. I’m still with him, too.
Favorite game of the series:
Mass Effect 2. It seemed like that’s the one where choices mattered most and you really got to know your squaddies. Also MAJOR gameplay improvements over the first game. And that game gave me the most freedom to do basically whatever I wanted and wasnt afraid to give me consequences for it.
MShep or FShep:
FShep. Nothing against MShep, but for me the real Shep is FShep. Can’t beat Jennifer Hale’s voice. 
Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer:
Colonist. I like having the background of knowing just how dangerous the galaxy can be and how the Alliance can’t be everywhere at once so sometimes you need to manage your best on your own.
Biotics or Tech:
Both.
Paragon or Renegade:
Paragon, mostly. I tried being renegade but some of the actions are just so pointlessly dickish, or even outright unhinged in a way that would make it impossible to believe the Alliance would ever promote Shepard as an officer or even keep her in the Alliance at all, especially in the first game.
That said, there are times where a renegade action is more expedient and practical than a paragon one, like in 2 when you stab a dude in the back to prevent him from repairing an enemy gunship, so even with a paragon playthrough, my Shepard will have no issues taking that opportunity. She’s already seconds away from betraying all those guys anyway.  
Paragon in treatment of others, renegade in combat pragmatism.
Favorite Class:
I play as infiltrator and vanguard.
Infiltrator is great for using a sniping and opening loot, and then for going invisible, and if I remember right AI hacking too. That’s cool and I wish there were more genuine opportunities for stealth.
Nowadays I play as Vanguard in my playthroughs mainly just so my Shepard can be canonically biotic for story reasons. From 2 on when looting no longer needs a special skill and I get to charge around the map. I don’t really care much about using biotics (that’s what the squadies are for) but the movement is super useful (when Shepard actually does the thing instead of just standing out in the open soaking up bullets until the ability decides to actually work.)
Favorite Companion:
Garrus. I like to set him up in sniper positions. When he actually STAYS where I put him instead of running straight up to enemies to try to snipe them at point blank, he’s great.
Also his quips in 2 on are pretty entertaining.
Least Favorite Companion:
Garrus, Oh my god. Go back to the sniper position where I put you. Leave tanking to krogan; you do not have the HP for this.
Also Kaidan in ME1. He can not shoot to save his life - literally.  
My Squad Selection:
For all ME1 playthroughs after my first one, Ashley and Kaidan, just of their comments and because... well... I only have so much time with them.
Apart from that I mainly just pick my team based on who’s likely to have the most interesting commentary on whatever the mission happens to be, squad balance be damned. 
Favorite In-Game Romance:
Garrus X Shepard is my favorite love story. They are just so adorable together and always supportive even when they disagree.
But my cannon romance is Kaidan X Shepard for the drama and angst.
Favorite NPC:
In ME1 there’s this random Turian on Noveria who randomly has like a New York accent and I absolutely adore him. He plays basically no part in the story other than some minor information but he’s just so pleasant to speak to.
“If you need anything, I’ll be here.”
Favorite Antagonist:
Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi daughter of Samara. Yes, she’s a murderous vampire who will absolutely kill you given the chance... but like, it’s a medical condition. And I really can’t help but feel for ardat-yakshi in general when their only options are to spend their whole lives on the run from justicars out to execute them, or waste their entire 1000 year lifespan imprisoned in a monetary unable to experience the world at all. Yeah, Morinth is evil, but Ardat-Yakshi don’t exactly have a good deal.
Favorite Loyalty Mission:
Grunt’s loyalty mission is the best. I get to help my baby boy, reunite with Wrex, enjoy krogan society being fleshed out, have a kickass battle against a thresher maw, and get a breeding request. It’s nice to have a quest that isn’t about family drama and genuinely gets a happy end.
Favorite Mission:
Despite Citadel DLC requiring everyone to have a deathgrip on an idiot ball, and also basically gloss over some really dark stuff, the whole clone storyline with the whole crew is an absolute ride all the way though, with lots of interesting and unique scenarios, a ton of replay-value, and funny party banter that feels like it came straight out of a Marvel movie.
Favorite DLC:
Again, Citadel DLC. Not only did it come with the story above, it also had all those interactions with past and present crewmates, including a memorial for Thane (finally!), a cool apartment to hang out in, a party, an arcade, and an awesome battle arena. It really added a TON. Also, it’s nice to see Bioware figure out that DLC needs characters - I’m remembering back in the DLC to ME 1 the party never had a single thing to say, no matter what was going on. The fun and wacky Citadel DLC is a far cry from the serious and somewhat dark space opera Mass Effect started as, but as the final DLC capping off the end of the series, it gets to do a silly victory lap (and get the taste of the ending out of our mouths.)
Control, Synthesis, Or Destroy:
No.
Favorite Weapon:
Sniper rifles, whatever I have that’s fast and has high damage output. Also that one pistol that shoots tiny energy grenades. Pew pew.
Yeah I wasn’t really big into the weapons so much. I’m here to get my story on. 
Favorite Place:
The presidium on the Citadel. It bothered me a lot when I couldn’t explore it in the second game. I know it would have been terribly impractical, but as the presidium is just a huge ring, it would have been cool to be able to explore the whole thing, going past all the little park areas, shops, monuments and so on until you loop aaaaall the way back around to where you started. Like, how cool would it be if the ring had a running track? Maybe C-sec  academy trainees would be spotted jogging together along it in formation. And can you imagine grabbing a coffee (I was going to make up a space-related name for Starbucks but it’s already STARbucks...) and taking a nice stroll along the water before finding a nice bench to alien-watch from? Other locations in the game are like great places to explore and do gameplay stuff, but the presidium seems like a nice place to just be.
Favorite Quote:
"Stand in the ashes of a trillion dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer." - Javik.
This is such a fucking raw damn line. It makes me think a lot about Cerberus. When ME3 wasn’t out yet, I thought maybe the plan was Shepard would at some point choose a side, Alliance for paragons and Cerberus for renegades. It would have been so cool to have morality not merely be good vs evil, but idealism vs that ruthless calculus Garrus mentioned. How fucking raw would it be if Cerberus wasn’t just generically evil for no reason and suddenly indoctrinated but really were embodying that ruthless calculus, determined to defeat the reapers at any and all cost. Maybe Cerberus actions’ were more likely to do terrible things for the sake of ultimate victory, doing whatever it took, whereas the Alliance would be less willing to make the terrible choices and ultimately be less likely to succeed.
Now obviously, that’s not what happened, as it would have required Bioware to basically make two entirely separate games. But that line from Javik makes me think of that concept, and a universe where like Dragon Age party members can approve or disapprove of actions not merely as good or evil but along the lines of their personal values. I think Javik would sit at victory at all cost.
Also that one mission in 2 where some random NPC catches Shepard sneaking around and is all like ‘what are you doing here?’ and Shepard is like ‘What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Get out here before it blows!’ and the guy’s freaking out like WTF and she says ‘RUN!’ then laughs to herself as he flees from an imaginary bomb. Shep you troll. 
The thing I like the least about the entire franchise:
The misogyny and objectification that crept its way in, epically from the second game on. Really didn’t like those ass-shot camera angles, or female characters being slut-shamed in-universe for the clothes the designers made them wear. Yikes. 
But the biggest yikes for me in that regard is actually the reveal in 3 that the prothians guided asari development. That was fine and all, but the part that bothered me was the characters commenting “ooooh, so that’s why asari are so advanced,” as it was ever any kind of mystery before that exact moment. For one thing, asari aren’t really shown as being more advanced than anyone else, apart from having discovered the citadel first, and for second, why wouldn’t asari be advanced? All the way from ME1 it’s established that 1: Asari live for a really long time, and 2: can instant transmit information directly from brain to brain. That means they have long lifetime in which to accumulate knowledge and experience, and also can easily spread and preserve that knowledge without even the need for books. That ALONE should put them ahead. And even with all that, they only barely beat the salarians to discovering the Citadel first. But no one asks for an explanation for why salarians, who live only a few decades and can’t do mental data-transfer, are so advanced. No, only the success of the all-women race needs explaining. It was just one moment but it still bugs me. 
Also the general loss of realism after the second game. First game everyone gets armor, including full-face helmets automatically on in environments that need it. After that, people can apparently just wander the battlefield half-naked and even somehow survive in a total vacuum if they just put a plastic cup (that isn’t even connected to anything) over their mouth and nose. In the first game they at least made up some reasonable-sounding science fiction explanation for things, but after that it’s like F-it everything is just space magic now. 
Oh, and those repetitive unlocking stuff minigames. I use a mod to just skip those. 
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janedrakey131 · 4 years
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zukka hp au part 5
I’m so flattered people like this au. I didn’t think I’d be posting again so soon, but I had some more ideas last night. If you’d like to catch up:
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13
If you would like to join the tag list
My brief, very long, not at all fleshed out plan based roughly on what year Sokka is in and other associated events:
First year
Sokka’s first year is boring 
He meets Zuko, makes some friends in his house, probably a bunch of OCs
He finds the kitchens on day 2
Hogwarts just hires people who like to cook, who cares whether they’re magical beings or humans or whatever, there’s all sorts of really cool kitchen magic though
He’s always asking questions in class and you can tell why he’s a Ravenclaw
He wants to learn about everything
And once he knows how to do more than shoot a few sparks, he’s going to start inventing
He’s going to do some truly awesome things with transfiguration and potions
And I can’t wait for him to start arithmancy
Like let me tell you, Sokka is a genius, and he’s probably going to be the only one who understands magical theory 
This just ended up being a rant about Sokka, so moving on
Second year
The fun starts
Katara and Aang are finally here
Sokka doesn’t know Aang is the avatar
I’m very tempted to have both Katara and Aang be in Hufflepuff
And they run into Sokka in the kitchens
He does a double take, like who is this boy with my sister??
But Aang’s a sweet kid
So Sokka is immediately like we’re bros now, I don’t make the rules
Iroh starts working at Hogwarts (sorry, I changed my mind from herbology) as the potions professor
He comes in on the train with Zuko who just got banished (I actually...might change the specifics)
Sokka doesn’t know what to make of that
Azula is also skulking around annoying Zuzu 
But I think she secretly cares a bit and threatens anyone that looks at his scar wrong, because Zuko helped her a lot with some stuff
I think she’s going to be in the same year as Katara and Aang? I’m not sure
I have plans for Azula
I think Mai and Ty Lee are going to be in Zuko’s year, but closer to Azula
Mai and Zuko will date at some point
I think Mai will end up with Ty Lee
But she and Zuko had a short relationship
I think it was more expected of them by their families that they date
But they’re good friends now
I’m not doing this betraying and cheating and hurting other characters to find out who you are thing
Everyone is having wholesome relationships that just don’t work out
(Sidenote, I’m changing things, and characters might end up a bit OOC for atla, and I’m really sorry, but this is just wish fulfillment for me)
Anyway, there’s a plot to find the avatar 
The mini gaang (toph isn’t here yet) learn the prophecy (still working on it)
Third year
They find out about Sokka and Katara’s mom
I don’t think Hakoda really knows what happened either. I don’t think he was in the country at the time
I also have some ideas for the water tribe/fire nation beef, but I just made the realization that if I spell everything out in these posts, what’s the point of writing for Ao3 XD
But spoilers, it’s going to be pretty angsty
But I like happy endings, so I may find a way to fix it
Ish
I have this whole idea that if Suki or the Kyoshi are also werewolves, they have really cool rituals to respect and honor the moon spirit and that allows them the ability to turn into wolves whenever they want and not just the full moon
So other people can also be born as werewolves, but different groups have different ways of being a werewolf
Also, I believe I said Zuko starts following Suki around thinking she’s the avatar
And then Sokka decides to fake being the avatar (I completely forgot when I said this would happen, so I’m assuming it’s this year or the next)
This is about when Sokka’s letters to Hakoda start going on about Zuko’s everything even more
Fourth year
Zuko (Zuko’s fifth year) witnesses something unspeakable
Sokka is kidnapped
Zuko saves Sokka
That’s all the detail I have on this XD
But the unspeakable thing and the kidnapping are going to be this year’s mystery
Zuko, the idiot, still thinks Sokka is the avatar at this point
Aang is like no
But doesn’t bother to say he is
So Zuko thinks Katara is the avatar for a hot sec
But has some nonsense logic that there’s no need to stop following Sokka, because if he or his sister are the avatar, of the two, Sokka’s more likely to give something away
Which okay, Zuko, not actually terrible reasoning, except Sokka’s been leading you around by the nose for ages
There’s none of this the avatar rotates which element they can use
Because that’s predictable
And half the fun is that Zuko is trying his best, but has zero clues
Fifth year
This is the big question
I’m not sure what to do with this year
I hope Sokka can start inventing
I want him to make some cool shit
There won’t be an equivalent of the DA as far as I can see :( I can’t figure out how I’d structure that
I think it would be really cool to see them all learning how to use their elemental magic though
Toph and Zuko don’t really need the help
Katara and Aang have always had to deal with all the crap going on, so they haven’t had much time for it
I’m wondering if I should bring in Paku
Aang has it rough, because air magic users are really rare now
So I think he might work with Iroh, because he’s studied other styles of magic extensively
Sixth year
I think Mai had to figure out she was bi
I truly think Zuko doesn’t have time for gender
For like five years, he’s like DO YOU KNOW WHO THE AVATAR IS and if you don’t, he’s already forgotten who you are
So my headcanon is that he’s pan and when he and Sokka eventually get together, Sokka doesn’t know anything about his orientation and just knows he dated Mai, so he’s like “are you cool with me being a dude? Sorry, I just know you’ve dated Mai, so just checking haha?”
And Zuko’s so done with all the random crap he’s dealt with that he’s like “wow, you have a dick? Congratulations”
But then realizes Sokka’s actually concerned and talks it out
Anyway, everyone’s leveled up now, we’re all masters at elemental and non-elemental magic (seriously, Sokka could’ve sat for his NEWTs last year if he wanted to. He’s that far ahead and magic is that intuitive for him)
I have no idea what will happen this year lol
I kind of want an invasion of Hogwarts, I know I’ve been trying not to just blindly follow the books completely :/ So I guess we’ll see?
I’ll have to work on that
I’m such a sucker for the villain waits until the end of the school year to attack
Because it’s so dumb
Like I will find the avatar! *shakes fist* But education is important, kids
Like okay, Sozin
Maybe I can have Roku finally escape that mirror
I kind of want the past avatars to be spirits that anyone can interact with
But most people don’t know how
So the Kyoshi can interact with Avatar Kyoshi as well as other relevant spirits
Seventh year
????
The plot?? Who knows yet
I do know that Zuko’s graduated
And they’re all crying and like wtf do we do now
Because Sozin’s still around and they’ll miss him
And finally Zuko leaves
And he shows up as the assistant DADA professor and he’s like “Hi, Zuko here” and then he’s like “I mean, fuck, Professor Zuko, I mean, fuck...just call me Zuko. You guys all know me”
And the gaang is all like wtf Zuko, we thought we would only see you for breaks
And he’s like you really thought I’d leave you
The plan is that he’ll be an apprentice for a year or so and then take over as professor
Toph punches him so hard, Katara has to heal the bruise
I can guarantee a happy ending
I’ll do whatever angst on the way, but they’ll all be happy
I’m like 89% sure they’re all going to end up working at or around Hogwarts (why work for the government, when you can invest in teaching all these talented kids)
One more thing, there is going to be rep in this au. I know there’s at least one aro ace character. Multiple bi characters. One gay character. One pan character. One trans character that I know of, but I need to plan that out a bit more. Some of these orientations and identities, I can’t speak to personally. For instance, while I know a decent amount about the medical aspects of transitioning, I don’t think I’d be able to write the experience of gender dysphoria and give that its due right now. So unless it’s something I have first hand experience with, most of the individual emotions as part of figuring things out might happen off screen. That doesn’t mean I won’t bring up issues the characters may have had in the past, but any that I talk about, I’d have to do more research into first. Also, partly because this is mostly from Sokka and Zuko’s perspectives, we’re mostly going to be present for what other characters tell them about their experiences
I hope you continue to enjoy this au! Sorry, this got so insanely long. The next couple weeks are going to be a bit crazy for me, so I thought I’d write this up while I had the chance. I’ll be back soon though! If anyone has any suggestions or questions, please let me know :)
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13
If you would like to join the tag list
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AAhh I really like 45 it pushed the story along while also being just hilarious and touching and it was just so good!! 46 was just pokemon battles...
OBEY ME! LESSON 45 DETAILED SUMMARY
At breakfast the most of the brothers crowd around MC and ask them how different appliances work, Asmo apologizes for them and then immediately asks MC something as well and well Belphie calls him out on it he says he hasn't been in the human world for a really long time and things have changed. Beel says that the human world progresses so fast that it makes him dizzy and Asmo says maybe it feels like that since the devildom doesn't progress. Lucifer tells MC to get ready to leave once they're done eating (still on the white couches is2g this pisses me off so much) and when MC asks him wtf he says oh yeah forgot you nearly died while Solomon told you about getting a sorcerer's license. MC's got a meeting with Solomon and Beel & Lucifer were asked to come along. Mammon & Asmo protest cause they can't tag along.  Belphie says that Beel and Lucifer were probably chosen cause they'll at least appear as mature functioning adults.
They meet up with Solomon in front of the Sorcerer's Society HQ, which according to Solomon is filled with "Pompous Uptight Bureaucrats". It provides assistance to sorcerer's living in the human world and provides them with first a provisional license and then a full license that'll allow them to practice magic as they pls more or less. Lucifer's like; that's great and all but why the fuck are we here. And Solomon tells him that he'll understand when they get inside. Lucifer says that sounds exactly like something someone who was seconds away from causing problems would say and he tells MC to brace themself.
The backgrounds for both these lessons are really good! Right so when they walk in sorcerers start ooing and awing over Beel and Lucifer - they've never seen them irl before, one even wants their autographs. Apparently Solomon's apprentice taming the 7 rulers was believed to be an urban legend?????????? I dunno imagine going from being a normal human to becoming an urban legend amongst sorcerers? Lucifer thinks Solomon brought them along just to boost MC's reputation (ohhh the poor man). Solomon reveals that he isn't on good terms with the society (is it even a surprise?) and being his apprentice would just make things harder for MC and that he established the society with his previous apprentice long ago but they had a falling out and now that apprentice runs the society (is it sad that there's a huge possibility that the falling out could be food related?). Solomon says he brought the brothers as bodyguards for his cute apprentice/charming apprentice/favourite pupil (If he keeps talking like that whoever runs this place is gonna deck MC) since back in the Celestial Realm the two of the were known as "the two greatest champions and protectors of the CR". Beel gets pissed off cause he thinks this means Solomon is putting MC in danger and Solomon says 'lol that's definitely not who I'm putting in danger' and when Lucifer picks up on that and questions Solomon on it he goes 'man look at the time we really gotta go get MC registered WOW'. The dude at the reception uses his staff to etch a magic seal that's the society's crest on to the back of MC's hand (I really feel like you should tell someone beforehand that you're gonna give them what is basically a tattoo? Also cant wait for that butcher to see this and the rest of MC's harem and come to the conclusion that they're in a cult) which consists of  3 staves and 7 stars signifying the 3 Magis who are believed to have invented magical arts and the 7 virtues (is it bad that before i even started om i knew what the 7 sins were but only had a vague knowledge about the 7 virtues? I wouldn't have been able to name them all without this lesson :/ anyway they're humility, generosity, gratitude, patience, chastity, temperance and diligence. Something i really like is that the brothers have all displayed the virtues that directly oppose their sins on a semi regular to regular basis).  To get their license apprentuces must earn the seven stars via passing 7 trials with the first of the trials being set and judged by their master. (ok so I assumed each test would focus on a brother and MC'd earn the star that opposes each brother's sin and would pass the test by learning and displaying the virtue of that star. But that isn't what happened here? If anything the test was there to teach Lucifer humility? Is that how it will go? will each test somehow focus on MC helping the brothers learn and display their opposing virtue even though all of them have already displayed this virtue to some extent?  I mean I guess the main point of the tests were to show that MC could control the brothers so that makes sense? but even though this test did focus on making Lucifer let go of his pride, the test was about MC learning to control Beel's power and these two lessons are very much focused on Beel so was the star they earned actually temperance? Even though the test didn't have anything to do with that virtue? Ahh i have so many questions about how the stars are earned and neither lesson really clarify it and if anyone wants to come debate about this???)
ANYway Solomon uses a spell to bind Lucifer in place, which pisses Beel off, tho when MC stays calm and just observes what happens Solomon is pleased assessing a situation before taking action is important (Ive had this HC for a while now but solomon is definitely the kinda teacher who throws you into the deep end with just a cryptic warning and watches with a smile as you try to figure out how to not die, if you do something particularly amusing while struggling he'll give you another cryptic hint, occasionally he'll yell out praise with that smile of his even if it looks like you're actively drowning and dying and failing). They start to get an audience while Lucifer threatens Solomon and shifts into his demon form and goes also im still fucking pissed off about that lunch so/ Beel also shifts and threatens Solomon, tho lucifer tells him to stand down cause he wants to murder solomon on his own and that a mere binding spell won't hold him down, Solomon's like Jeez chill it's for MC's exam you fucknugget and Lucifer's like oh shit yeah but you know i'll actually kill you for this later and Solomon's like yeah that's cool and also imma use my powers to make you into the size of a barbie doll and lucifer's like what-  MC then proceeds to lose their shit over a tiny blushing Lucifer. MC's test is to keep lucifer safe for 24 hours which would be fine if they you know didn't live with the other 5.  which is actually what lucifer says when Beel says it'll be easy if they just stay at home cause home according to lucifer also contains his '5 greatest enemies'. MC's job is to protect Lucifer from them without using any commands on anyone other than beel, and the goal is for them to be able to fully command beel like they did with Asmo in S1 against Henry 1.0. Beel is not allowed to act on his own to protect lucifer and can only act on MC's commands.  Beel agrees, Lucifer swears and Solomon asks MC about their confidence levels. MC can promise one of the three of them that they won't mess up.  Solomon says he'll stay in the house with them so that he can judge and Lucifer's more or less like; you're having fun aren't you and solomon says Duh.
So they end up at the café where predictably Luke & Simeon end up screaming and laughing at a blushing pissed off mini Luci, Simeon tells him they physically cannot laugh cause of course big scary Lucifer is now in Simeon’s words ‘Teeny-Tiny” & how he’s so cute he wants to keep him in a jar as a pet (God I love this lesson).  He says Michael would love to see this and when Lucifer yells at him he completely ignores him to poke his cheek (V Relatable). Luke also wants to join in on the fun but Lucifer is a little bitch to him and as retaliation for scaring their son MC pokes luci on the cheek too. Beel laments about wanting to poke luci on the cheek too and when Solomon tells the others to stop teasing lucifer, luci goes, EXCUSE ME WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Beel notes that luci now smells human. When luke asks about the smelling thing beel says that all 3 species? races? Smell different. Simeon marvels at how much humiliation PrideTM is willing to take cause he’s simping for MC. Luci tells them to shut tf up cause unless they come up with a plan to deal with his hell children they’re probably going to kill him the second he steps foot inside the house. Beel tells MC to use his powers. Luci says they should be able to draw out Beel’s powers like they did Asmo’s in S1. Solomon says since he gave them a power up in S1 simply saying the incantation won’t work this time around and they must first fully understand Beel and his nature to be able to do that. MC has a flashback to the Butcher and his relationship advice and then asks Beel what he thinks they should do to be able to better understand him (while I do think ideally this is the right choice, in context with the other two choices, to me, this is the ONLY choice cause the other two come off as slightly yandere on mc’s part). Beel chooses spending time together via sleepover. But obviously Luci will have to come along and Solomon invites himself along too cause he’s still the judge.  Simeon’s sad about not being able to join in and luke is TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS OKAY!?!?
Outside the house Luci, Beel and MC all make pledges like they’re invading enemy territory; Lucifer: Swear you won’t let your guard down. Beel: Swear to protect Lucifer with your life. MC, 100% seriously: I Swear. Solomon: Are yall fucking serious??? These are your fucking brothers???? You practically raised them??? Lucifer: Have you ever actually met my brothers???? Beel: You legit think they won’t give up their lives just to fuck with lucifer for a day? When Solomon asks what lucifer ever did to make them hate him so much he says he doesn’t know. And look while “locking me up in the fucking attic for a whole year”, “not acknowledging that you’re actually my father and taking some fucking responsibility” and “blaming every minor inconvenience in your life on my very existence” are all very valid reasons none of them actually hate him right, cause I mean using every chance you get to fuck with your siblings is just part of being a sibling?  Which is what Beel and MC both tell Lucifer. Lucifer doesn’t believe them and actually seems sad about it. Solomon said “while I do find the complicated interpersonal dynamics of your family fascinating” my ass is freezing out here. …Do you think they’re like solomon’s favourite show??? I mean Solomon’s old as shit and probably doesn’t remember what it’s like to have a family, and before MC, Simeon and the student exchange he didn’t really have anybody so do you think he just watches the brothers + MC like ‘damn, this shit is wild’????????????????? The instant they enter the house, someone casts a spell and they’re pulled into a portal. The fuck did you say about everyone loving Lucifer, says Solomon while making direct eye contact with Beel. They fall through endless darkness and MC tells them to chill cause it only feels like they’re falling. They end up in a weird ballroom/royal courtroom kinda place, which Solomon marvels. Beel & MC recognize the place as a location from one of levi’s games and meet Levi in his TSL clothes who welcomes MC as the ‘hero’.
Beel, Luci & Sol kinda just wordlessly stare at levi with tired expressions and MC being the bro they are plays along with levi by asking if he is who they think he is. He introduces himself as The Lord of Shadows, the ruler of all 7 lands. Lucifer: WTF. Beel says they don’t have time for games and Levi gets upset that they’re making him look pathetic. Levi gives MC their mission – to save the world by defeating the demon lord satan. Lucifer tells Solomon to get the fuck out of there. Solomon says he can’t considering he has no idea where the fuck they are in the first place. Beel politely asks ‘his majesty’ the way to pantry and Levi yells at them to take it seriously. Beel says well ok and explains the whole test thing to levi as a way to explain why they can’t play. Levi says satan already knows this. After that there’s a flash and black smoke starts curling up around the room and satan turns up in his demon form. And LOOK I hate satan’s demon form outfit but it actually looks really good in this context??? The feather boa and ribbon bow thing really works with the curling black smoke, evil demon lord look. It probably helps that you can’t see his bottom half. Anyway Satan turns out to just be a magical projection and he says, well you’ll have to come to me cause I kidnapped your boyfriend, while Diavolo calls out to Lucifer and MC from off screen. Diavolo had run away from the devildom to surprise the brothers. While Lucifer scolds Diavolo and while Diavolo apologizes, Satan tells they must all come to him along with the “obnoxious talking doll”. Lucifer: the fuck did you just say. Ok this part is really cute; Satan: “I’ll be seeing you MC.” Diavolo, still off screen: Can’t wait to see you MC! Luicfer has a migraine. When Beel tries to say they should head off, Levi tells them they forgot something in RPGs. MC, still dutifully in character, asks the lord of shadows to give them aid. Levi gives them 100 grimm and just anekfnsndfjn the fuck can they do with just 100 grimm. Which is what both Beel and Luci say. Solomon says, well maybe they’re just fucking poor around here so everything here is cheap. Levi gives them a talisman to protect themselves with, Lucifer says cool, but once this is over I’m gonna beat your ass :) Levi says he just bought a new game that lets you create your own story and he just wanted to play it with them :(
So they end up in a cute lil’ game village & beel wants to go to a tavern but lucifer says they need to buy equipment first. If MC asks a NPC they just repeat the same line about how great life is under levi’s rule over and over again, if they search in the grass they find some medicinal herbs but beel immediately eats them, if they break a barrel Solomon starts breaking open barrels too and they get yelled at by lucifer. They end up in No. 2’s armoury. Lucifer’s fed up with life. Solomon says the gear looks like shit and Beel says it makes sense since this is only the first town. When Beel tries to ask 2 for food he repeats his introductory dialogue over and over again. With the money they have they’re able to buy gear for Solomon and MC and the only thing that fits Lucifer is the fairy outfit,,,, I’m NOT fucking wearing that says lucifer off screen and God I love this lesson. Solomon and MC are both little shits and can you just imagine them trying to convince lucifer to wear it just to test it out? Fucking amazing. MC tries to haggle/talk with 2 so they could get armour for beel but he says buddy I’m running a business here BUT there’s a monster in the casino that cheats ppl of their mone– Lucifer & Beel simultaneously: Oh, Mammon. So basically, if they can get 2’s money back he’ll offer them a huge discount on the lord of flies armour.  They decide to find an inn for the night before they face Mammon.
Lucifer finds it hard to eat food. Solomon: Cause you’re tiny ^.^   Beel: Wonder whose fault that is :I  MC can either offer to cut it for him (He thanks MC and tells them to feed him too. Entitled Fuck. Solomon & Beel also want to be fed but Lucifer tells them to fuck off) or tell him to just open wide and take a bite (Lucifer says if he gets too close to the food Beel would probably accidentally eat him). Beel says the food is a lot like devildom food and MC asks him if he likes devildom food or human food, Beel says all food is good. Since they don’t have much money MC & beel and Solomon & Lucifer end up sharing beds with Lucifer telling Solomon to use a spell to keep himself still during the night to avoid accidentally killing lucifer in his sleep. There isn’t a spell for that. At night, Beel asks lucifer if he thinks Satan still hates him and gets “…” in response. Assuming Lucifer is asleep he asks MC what they think. MC says they think Satan just can’t admit that he likes Lucifer. Beel says if that’s what they think then it’s okay cause he just wants Satan to love lucifer like the rest of them do. MC asks Beel if he’s worried about lucifer (Beel says Lucifer wouldn’t want him to worry but… and that he wants to be there when lucifer needs help) or says that Beel really loves Lucifer (Beel happily agrees that he does). Beel then tells MC about how he and Lucifer first met: So back when Beel was an angel, according to him the only thing good about him was that he was strong so he decided to become a soldier except he couldn’t control his strength and always ended up breaking things which led to Raphael always saying something sarcastic to him. The whole thing was depressing for him until one day lucifer came over, sat beside him and talked with him. Lucifer was always really busy and spent most of his days deep inside the palace (places where Beel has never even been to before). He told beel that a soldier was not about attacking but instead about protecting, that protecting was what was most important. He’d told beel that he was special cause he had the power to protect everyone and keep them safe (this shit is the sweetest and it has me sobbing but also that must have hit like a bullet when Lilith died…). Lucifer had told Beel if he learnt to control his powers then Lucifer would recommend him as a Cherubim, gatekeeper. Lucifer had given Beel confidence and his post as a gatekeeper. Which is why Beel wants to protect him, cause he loves and respects Lucifer. He says all his brothers love Lucifer cause if they didn’t they never would have considered leaving the celestial realm. He says that even though Satan’s situation is different he isn’t the same as he was before MC came around and that Beel likes the new satan better. And that he actually likes all his brothers more since MC came around, which is why he likes MC so much too. MC gets to either kiss, hug or thank him. Beel says his powers are there so that he can protect both Lucifer and MC. And FUCK I love this backstory so much????? And I desperately need all the other backstories?
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