#i first made this all dark and moody but i wanted it to match my usual backgrounds

[pixelglam]

Robert & Valerie

[konohamaru-sensei]

Because im predictable, gray/juvia: "I wanna waste all of my time with you.” 🥺

Merry Christmas Shore! I am very grateful that I somehow made it into your circle of 5 fairy tail fandom friends!! I really admire your art and the speed at which you create, i love that we have the same brain when it comes to shipping and just your general love for Juvia. I promised something fluffy for christmas to offset all the angst, but I'm not sure about the quality of what I wrote. I hope you enjoy it anyway <3

--

Gray x Juvia

Post Alvarez lol i mean.

__

“I’m going to buy a drink.” Gray pushed himself out of the seat he had been sitting in for what was the better part of the day. His limbs felt numb and every bone in his body hurt so much that he wasn’t sure if stretching them out even helped. He’d been perched up on that wooden bench so long that he never wanted to go back there again ever, even though he knew he had to.

Juvia gave him a nod and said nothing, which he took as her not wanting one herself. She’d gotten very quiet in the last hour. Also another reason he needed a drink: When Juvia gave up her always cheery attitude in favour of being sombre something was usually very wrong.

The first beer that was handed to him Gray downed in one go without taking a breath and then he ordered the next one immediately and watched the baffled barman fill his glass again. Then he walked back to the table, frowning at the look of the bench he had to force himself onto again.

They’d been out on this job for three days. A wizard who was rumoured to have stolen some valuable diamonds was supposed to come by this bar or sell here and the mission giver had tasked them to sit there and wait for the guy to come by. Gray had asked Juvia to join, because he didn’t think that making conversation with Erza or Natsu during a full day was a bearable idea. Juvia on the other hand was pleasant to be around.

They had spent their days sitting in the back of that bar, the cheapest seats at the very back where it was mostly dark, waiting for a guy to appear that never appeared. Each night Gray had to watch the tenants of the pub get drunk without being allowed to drink himself. After all, alcohol and fighting didn’t match well - unless you were Cana, but she had incredible resistance anyway.

Gray sat back down in the damned place and he had half the second drink down right away. “If the guy doesn’t show up tonight,” he said, “we will go back.” Abandoning jobs was not his style, but wasting his time wasn’t his style either. 

“What about the master?” Juvia asked and circled the table with her pointer finger. She looked dejected in a way that Gray hated, as if she was personally responsible for the misery of the last three days.

He emptied his glass. “Don’t mind him.” Gray shrugged. “I’d rather not get paid than be here for another 12 hours in this dark and uncomfortable and boring place.”

“I’m sorry, Gray-sama,” Juvia put the ends of her fingers together, “Juvia wishes she were better company.”

“What do you mean by that?” Gray waved to one of the staff to refill his drink and they did.

Juvia looked from the alcohol back to him. “Juvia is boring Gray-sama. That is why Gray-sama is annoyed.”

“It’s the guy that refuses to show up that annoys me,” Gray says decidedly. “You’ve not done anything wrong.” He tapped his finger in irritation and then sipped his beer again.

“But if Juvia were better company…” she murmured, “..maybe Gray-sama would be happier. Gray-sama asked Juvia to come along and now she is of no help.”

He let out an irritated grunt. “Nonsense,” he said and shook his head. “I don’t know how you always come up with this stuff.” There was already a considerable warmth in his chest and probably on his cheeks too. Surely the alcohol was getting to him. He downed the next drink.

Juvia looked at him as if she was trying to find words to say. The way she looked when she looked away from him, when she tried to do stay away from him if he was moody or angry, when she had somehow gotten it into her head that she was doing something that was wrong, he hated that look on her face. Juvia was the best when she was happy, when she was enthusiastic and a little weird. 

“Don’t make that face,” he said and put his head onto his flat hand to keep it upright. “I asked you to come, didn't I? If I were bothered by your presence I wouldn’t have asked you.”

She opened her mouth, but he cut her off. “Seriously, it’s pleasant to have you around, you have a nice- “ he gestured a little with his hand - “..everything.”

Juvia blushed, which somehow made the warmth at his core worse, so he waved for another drink. He already felt a little confused in his mind, like it was slightly clouded over, but drinking helped with the frustration of the day. 

Apparently having found her usual stride again with what he said Juvia moved closer to him and picked one of the strands of his hair away from the beer: “Why exactly does Gray-sama like hanging out with Juvia?”

Gray briefly closed his eyes and moved his head sideways into her hand so he could breathe in a little of the smell of the hand soap she was always using. He’d noticed it long ago, but he’d never been close enough to soak it in like now.

“You smell nice,” he said and by the way her fingers jumped away from his hair he could tell that his answer surprised her. He made a frowny face and reached for her hand again to put it into his hair. “I like when you do that too.” He looked at her and though she was slightly foggy, he could make out the red cheeks.

“You are always happy and positive and smiling - I like when you smile. Your powers are so compatible with mine so I like doing jobs with you and I enjoy every conversation we have with one another. “ He weighed his head. “But I also enjoy just being quiet around you. It’s pleasant to have you near me no matter what.”

He reached for one of the strands of her hair and turned it around his finger. “Gray…sama…” Juvia murmured in reply as if she didn’t quite know what to say to that onslaught of compliments.

His eyes shot up: “That I hate,l though.” Juvia blinked and he waved with his hand. “I don’t like how you are so formal with me. We’ve known each other for ages, hell, you’ve died for me, you should stop addressing me like I am a prince of some kind.”

“Well then, what if I call you dear then?” she asked slowly.

Gray grabbed the beer in front of him and drank half of it. Through his foggy mind the answer came much easier than it would have if he hadn’t been drinking. “Sure..” he said but didn't look at her. “Whatever you want.” His insides felt strange at this admission. He finished the glass for good measure.

Juvia let out a squeal and then, as if to test the waters, she leaned forward to his ear and slowly said: “Don’t you think that is enough drinks, my dear?” 

It was like a magic spell had been cast. From where her breath had touched his ear goosebumps spread all through his body to the tips of his toes. He hadn’t experienced this since the last time he had been actually cold, which happened so very rarely that he couldn’t even recall when that was. But here she had done that to him, just with one word alone. 

He buried his head forward into his arms, combatting the spinning of his head by having his eyes closed. Gray let go of the strand of hair he’d been holding and instead ran a hand through his hair to regain composure, but then he found her fingers already there. He’d forgotten he had put her hand into his hair in the first place.

“Dangerous..” Gray murmured and pulled away from her fingers. “You are a dangerous woman.”

Juvia leaned closer to him again. “Why? Do you not like it, my dear?” She made sure to make the last syllables very clear again. She stopped moving through his hair.

“No.” Gray said, decidedly and then slightly shook his head to invite her to continue what she’d been doing. “No.. it’s not.. Like that..” He didn’t know how to explain what confused him so much, so he just grunted in frustration and gave up. He buried his head deeper into his arms.

“Juvia thinks you had too much to drink, dear,” Juvia giggled and combed through his hair. “Maybe it’s time to leave.”

Somewhere beyond the fog, Gray knew she was right, but he found himself entirely unable to move. Too tired and comfortable with her body close, her smell in his nose and her hand in his hair. So he decided to pretend he’d fallen asleep, just to enjoy it all a little longer.

[jojosbizzarewife]

SCREW EVERYTHING I refuse to die without knowing which bois would let you peg them🫣🫣

@joestarfoundation, you're my soulmate & I love the way you think 🥰

Who lets you peg them

Blease, I'm Pegging you

Jonathan, Speedwagon, Joseph, Kars, Wammu, Esidisi, Polnareff, Avdol, Josuke, Okuyasu, Rohan, Kira, Bruno, Abbachio, Mista, Fugo, Illuso, Formaggio, Ghiaccio, Melone, Anasui, Johnghalli A, Pucci, Johnny, Diego, Gappy

—————————————————————————

Jonathan

He would try it, if you asked. Would probably want a small, smooth, silicone toy.

Speedwagon

Enthusiastic yes! Lots of people don't know this, but the Speedwagon Foundation has a "Sexual Health & Wellness" division.

Joseph

Approaches you with this suggestion. Already owns a pegging dildo and bought harness that he thinks would look amazing on you.

Kars

Doesn't ask, just assumes you two will end up doing it at one point. The type of guy God to have a custom made dildo for you to peg him. It's an idol of himself, he has it on display when it's not in use.

Wammu

Is definitely open to the idea (not like he hasn't done it before). However, he prefers to save it for special occasions. Moans and whimpers the whole time - everyone in the neighborhood will hear him.

Esidisi

More than willing and eager to take on any challenge you're willing to give him. Goes to the store with you to pick out a sturdy harness and a set of dildos. You have to convince him to get one smaller than 10" to start with.

Polnareff

Oui oui, ma cherie! Flattered that you would even ask - horrified that you think he would ever say no to you. If you find a silver dildo to match Silver Chariot, he would die of happiness right then.

Avdol

"YES, I AM INTERESTED!" Loves it when you take control, especially if you tell him to sit on your cock. This man is absolutely putty in your hands.

Josuke

As soon as you ask, this man is shopping for sexy assless undies and a matching pegging kit. Would love if you took him on a date and set out rose petals beforehand.

Okuyasu

A people pleaser, he would absolutely be down for it if you expressed interest. You can't tell me this man isn't already wearing a butt plug out in public (probably because you asked) - HAVE YOU SEEN HOW HE WALKS

Rohan

At first, he would refuse (of course), then would come to you a week later with a harness and multiple dildo options for you to pick from. Becomes a regular thing you two do together.

Kira

Pretends like he is only agreeing for your sake. Is acctually a needy slut for your strap - would have you peg him all the time if he could.

Bruno

You suggest it after he confides in you that he has zipped off his own penis to try using as a dildo. Immediately zips off his penis and zips it onto you so you can peg him with it.

Abbachio

Only brings it up when he's drunk. Wants you to pull his hair and spit wine into his mouth. Will use Moody Blues to replay it when you're not around (and he's sober).

Mista

Brings it up first, buys himself a "clone-a-willy" (glow in the dark, obviously) so you can peg him with his clone - says it makes him feel "closer to you"

Fugo

Once he's comfortable enough with you, he approaches you about it first. Does a bunch of research and prep, gets super nervous/excited - does not end up enjoying it as much as he thought he would.

He would still do it if you really want, but would prefer other forms of intimacy.

Illuso

Wants it BAD, but waits for you to approach him about it first. Power top - degrades you the whole time for enjoying it.

Formaggio

Buys the biggest toy so he can shrink it down to whatever he wants at any given time. Almost cums when you agree to try it out with him.

Ghiaccio

He will make you work (beg) for it. However, after a stressful day, he would be the one begging for a pegging. Prefers to use cooling lube for pegging.

Melone

Asks you by gifting you a strapless strap-on dildo and puppy eyes. Tell him he's a little slut made for your cock if you want to see him cry while he cums.

Anasui

As soon as you even hint at wanting to try pegging him, he buys you both matching dildos. Loves how much you dote on him and how loved you make him feel. VERY LOUD

Johnghalli A

Im fucking drooling and sobbing and begging for this mans cake!

He floats the idea by you first. Would love to be pegged in the shower while you keep your hand over his mouth and tell him to be quiet for you.

Pucci

Would do anything to see God/Heaven again. Says it's the best way to do so. Prefers a curved vibrating dildo. He tears up when he cums while you're pegging him.

Johnny

He initially brings up the idea of wanting you to dominate him. Loves to suck your strap while you tell him how good he's doing. He is a moaning, drooling mess before you even start pegging him.

Diego

This man is so cocky - he NEEDS to be pegged (his idea). Power top, especially after he wins a race. Will tie you down while he rides your strap and tell you how lucky you are that he's letting you pleasure him at all.

Gappy

Very eager to agree to ANYTHING you suggest, this is no different. Will overstimulate himself riding your strap - LOVES when you jerk him off while he rides you.

[sleepytwilight]

An actual date

Pairing: Lilith x Sirius (I'm not good with romance)

"you good man? You've been pretty moody this entire morning." Pollux noticed Sirius change in demeanor.

"You noticed? Hah.. nothing particularly special—"

"I heard from Vega, you got rejected when you asked Lilith on a date. He was mocking you."

"..ouch." Sirius sighed. "I'm not in the mood, don't let others see my like this. I'll just know they'll make fun of me."

"Well I'm trying to help you." Said Pollux as he grabbed Sirius arm. "Come on, I set a playdate for you with Lilith."

"What? Why would she accepted—"

"Alright listen here you smarty-pants. She misunderstood your intention, she thought you were talking about dates, the fruit. Since she just learn that term of date and dates but the thing is she can't tell between them... And she don't like dates like me so-" Pollux faked a cough.

"Ah." A bulb lighten up as Sirius understands what's going on. "Oh... ... Well...."

"Yeah yeah I know. You guys need to communicate better I swear to God..." Sighed Pollux.

A little while later, Sirius is wearing his casual outfit. Pollux gave him a basket full of food for the picnic and a fresh bouquet of white lilies.

He saw Lilith waiting patiently at a picnic blanket.

'Pollux really prepared everything...-' Sirius is impressed by Pollux managed to do everything in such short time.

Lilith wears a yellow ruffle and white shorts. He never seen her wear that kind of clothing, to be honest he always seen her wearing the uniform or her only clothes that she have.

"Summoner." Sirius greet her with a smile. "For you, my lady." He handed Lilith the bouquet.

"Lilies..!" Lilith happily took it and smiles. "How did you know this is my favorite?"

"That... I noticed your scent match with lilies." Sirius quickly thought a lie, he can't just tell her that it was Pollux who chose it.

"You noticed?" She chuckles. "Thank you! I use that kind of perfume that use lilies."

"You mean I use a lily-scented perfume?" Sirius corrected Lilith. "But good job, you improved a lot at your accent." Sirius faked a cough. "May I?"

"Oh- ah right, you may take a seat." Lilith invited him to sit down next to her.

The silent was louder than Sirius thought it would be. Sirius is supposed to good at this but he feels nervous around her.

A minute had passed, they still haven't talk about anything-

"So-"

"So.."

Both stop when they synced.

"You go first." Sirius offers.

"Ahaha... Uhm... Sorry for rejecting you yesterday. I thought you were talking about the fruit."

"Oh, it's not a big deal. Everyone made mistake." Sirius laughed, he is not fine actually. Last night, he thought he made a horrible mistake that he could not sleep. The fact he wears concealer to hide his dark circles. "Anyway I brought lunch."

Sirius checked the basket, there are bottle of wine, two glasses, sandwiches and pancakes...

'yep, definitely Pollux and Arcturus who made this.' Sirius can recognized Arcturus homemade sandwich signature. He just hope Lilith won't notice a thing.

"Oh! Did you asked Arcturus and Pollux for help?" Asked Lilith as she look over the basket.

Sirius lost his chance to impress her again- Ahem..

"Not at all! They're the one who planned all of this. I just follows the flow." He said.

"Oh... So you didn't want this date?"

"No no, that's not what I mean. What I mean is that I was planning to take you on a expensive restaurant but they insisted I should take you out on a picnic! So I agreed because I realized you maybe like.. nature more?"

"Oh!" Lilith nodded in understanding. "Indeed you're correct! I don't enjoy being served in expensive restaurant, it overwhelm me a lot."

"I am always correct haha..!" Sirius is thankful that Lilith rejected him yesterday because that expensive restaurant was his idea in first place. "I thought since you're a princess, you'll like being treated like a princess but I just thought maybe you prefered something else."

"I mean you could've ask me but you worked so hard and even noticed the smallest thing about me, I'm happy." She smiles. "And you even brought my favorite wine!"

"Oh, of course. Since I only got my eye on you." Behind his smiles, he is in fact feels guilty for not knowing anything that Lilith likes or dislikes, he's going to give Pollux tips for this later.

Lilith chuckles, "I'll pour the wine, you can help by taking out the food." Said Lilith as she took the two glasses and the wine.

"Wait, Summoner. We have magic, why don't we just use it?" Sirius snapped his finger as the bottle of wine float and pour it into the two glasses by it self. "Impressive, right?"

"Very!" She beamed. "Magic is truly fascinating."

Sirius chuckles at her reaction, he couldn't get enough everytime she is impressed by something simple.

He took out a sandwich, try to feed her.

"Summoner, open your mouth."

"Oh-!" Lilith took a bite without hesitation, just like he expected, she will never hesitate when it come food. "Delicious! Feed me more, please!"

"Gladly." Sirius wipe the bread crumb from her lips with his fingers. He know has realized how soft is her lips is. "Right, Summoner... ... Uh—"

"You know, Phera also feed me like this and he called me good girl. At least he didn't call me good dog anymore but it's pretty weird. I'm pretty sure I am a woman now." Said Lilith. "Since Spica taught me the different because girl and woman in term-"

"That's enough Summoner, I understand...-" Sirius cracked a smile. "So you say you went to a date with Alpheratz hmm?"

"A date? Oh no, he just took me in a room and feed me cookies." Smiles Lilith, she in fact did not realized it was a date.

"... Well, my lady. I'll have a talk with Alpheratz, I'm pretty sure that bastard is stupid for calling you a good girl..."

"Shouldn't he call me good woman then?" Asked Lilith. "Should I ask Spica—"

"No, no. Don't ask Spica." Replied Sirius. "Just everytime Alpheratz try to invite you to somewhere, can you reject it? Nothing serious of course but don't you think you might waste him time since he's a very busy sorcerer..."

"Oh... If you say so then alright." She nodded.

The date went successful, they both had a good time. Sirius managed to get what he want, same with Lilith.

Pollux and Arcturus celebrated as they were watching them just to make sure everything went well.

[fantastickkay]

Album Review of the Week: Lady Gaga - Born This Way (2011) ☆☆☆☆☆

Buckle up! This is one of my favorite albums of all time and I have 12 years of thoughts to share! I absolutely loved The Fame and The Fame Monster, so when this album was announced I was ready! I wasn't too impressed with Born This Way (single) at the time, but I still had faith that this was going to be a fantastic release. This is while I was in graphic design school, so I had a MacBook and the week this was released, my charger had broken. I remember using the very last little bit of battery I had before a new one arrived to buy this on iTunes and sync it to my iPod. Yes, this was the dark days when I would buy music digitally. A few years later, I found the deluxe edition at Electric Fetus in Minneapolis to finally have a physical! The deluxe edition is definitely worth having, not only does it have an alternate cover (I absolutely hated the motorcycle design!) but the bonus tracks and remixes are fantastic. The competition is very stiff, but this is definitely my favorite Gaga album! The singles are iconic, the energy throughout is great and the deep tracks are soooo good.

The album opens with Marry the Night, this is the perfect song of the bunch to open the album. It's an energetic declaration that nothing is going to hold her down! "Kiss the bartender twice, I'm a loser".

Born This Way served as the lead single, like I said earlier I wasn't too impressed with it at first and it still isn't one of my favorite tracks on the album, but it has a great message, guaranteed to be heard at Pride festivities! Even if it's not my favorite, the quality of this album is so high that I still consider it a great song! "Don't be a drag, just be a queen."

Government Hooker brings us into what I consider to be the main sound of the album - dark and a little experimental. I've thought this song was the coolest ever since I heard it for the first time. I love the call and response/spoken word of the chorus, it has such a cool sound, as well as the HOoooOOooOKahahah. "I can be good, unless you want to be bad."

Judas is my favorite single of the album; this music video is on as many playlists as I can put it on! Her trolling the Christian community by releasing this on Easter Sunday is iconic. She calls back to Bad Romance by having that same "skat" style singing, if you can call it that. The instrumentation is super punchy, and the choreography isn't too complicated so it accessible to someone like me! The bridge is really great as well. "Build a house or sink a dead body."

While Americano is fun, it does seem like a filler track to me. This album is quite bloated, even the standard edition! Even so, the energy level does not falter and we have another great dance track that is fun to shout along to in the car! "I have cried for, I will die for how I care."

Hair is kind of a mix of Americano and Born This Way. It has that same bubbly delivery as Americano with the similar messaging of childhood memories and living as you are as BTW. I also enjoy the youthful lyrics, as if she's singing from the perspective of her younger self, it really helps paint the picture. "I'll die living just as free as my hair."

Scheiße brings us back to the dark side, although it's a good mix between bright + upbeat and experimental, which actually makes it a great transition track between moods which is what it ends up being. The chanting chorus is so silly that only Lady Gaga could pull it off! The mixture of actual German and made-up German is just amazing. The larger message of this song, however, is fantastic as it illustrates the struggle and need for a woman to be her own self on her own accord. "I don't speak German but I wish I could."

It's a close match between this and the previous track, but I have to say that Bloody Mary is my favorite song on this album. I absolutely love how dark and moody it is, and the vocal effects that are used every so often are really cool as well. My favorite parts are the chant and vocal run (would you call it that? I'm not sure) near the end, so fun to sing along to. This song had a resurgence in popularity last year thanks to Tik Tok. "I won't cry for you, I won't crucify the things you do."

Next we have a bonus track, Black Jesus † Amen Fashion, the melody on this one reminds me of Hair a lot. The chorus, however, is where the energy lies! It definitely fits the mood of walking down the runway with your fiercest attitude. "Dancing in my revelation, underground pop civilization."

Bad Kids was one of my favorites when this album came out, now I don't think of it as often but it is still a great track! The lyrics are super sassy although ever since I heard someone mention it sounds like "I'm a f****t baby" I can't unhear it! "I'm a brat. I'm a selfish punk, I really should be smacked."

Fashion of His Love is another bonus track. This is another filler track, I feel. The tone is really light and breezy though which can serve as a break from all the heavy songs surrounding it! "I'm fashionably just designed to be grand."

Highway Unicorn (Road To Love) counts as a filler in my opinion as well. I do like the vocal effects during the chanting. The vocals at the end of the chorus have a really nice tone and sound and the drums in some spots are really dynamic!

Heavy Metal Lover is a strong contender for favorite track as well. This is another one that has a huge cool factor in my eyes ever since it first came out. It is quite an odd song but something about it just pulls me in and doesn't want to let go. Again, the vocal effects create a very distinct mood and the melodies in some spots sound really great (I could be your girl girl girl....). "Let's raise hell in the streets, drink beer and get into trouble."

Electric Chapel introduces us to the last act of this album. It starts with a strong guitar riff and is driving and dramatic. I absolutely love the vocals and melody on this song! It has 80s hair band energy which she does a great job executing. Now, I'm not saying it's exactly reminiscent of that sound, but it just has the energy! "Follow me, don't be such a holy fool."

The last bonus track before we switch to disc 2, The Queen is a bouncy 80s-sounding tune. It's a motivational tune that encourages you to be the best queen you can be!

The last 2 tracks as this long journey comes to a close are the most well-known and radio friendly singles. You and I brought us Jo Calderone, Gaga's male alter ego. This song is a great track that belongs in dive bars everywhere. I used to be in a cover band and would sing this at dive bars! It was one of my favorites to sing. The lyrics are aching yet whimsical and delivered expertly. "Sit back down where you belong, in the corner of my bar with your high heels on." The Edge of Glory pales in comparison to the rest of the album, but that by no means makes it a bad song! It is definitely a great radio hit that appeals to the masses, and it is very easy and fun to sing along to! It also closes out an epic album on a high note.

Disc Two features a few select remixes, standouts being Born This Way (The Country Road Version) and Scheiße (DJ White Shadow Mugler). I normally tend to avoid remixes over 8 minutes long, especially if they are repetitive but Scheiße is just so hypnotic that I cannot resist!

If you made it this far, I very much appreciate you! This is definitely a legendary pop album, and it was a lot of fun experiencing the anticipation at the time and everything else that has happened to solidify this album's legacy since.

[justtothesea]

Random, but here are some songs that inspire and have been used in the Polin Hunger Games AU (might add more later once it's done). Just because I'm bored and I've had a heavy day ♡

Deep in the Meadow

Here it's safe, here it's warm And here the daisies guard you from every harm And here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true Here is the place where I love you

Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues

Gazing at people, some hand-in-hand Just what I'm going through, they can't understand Some try to tell me thoughts they cannot defend Just what you want to be, you will be in the end And I love you Yes, I love you, ah Ah, how I love you

The Endless Running Out of Time - The Secret Sisters

Who am I to live and die To dream, to breathe, to burn That I exist is it a gift I never could have earned Until the ties are broken This purpose will be mine To hold you close, and try to slow The endless running out of time

Can't Catch Me Now - Olivia Rodrigo

Through wading grass The months will pass You'll feel it all around I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere But you can't catch me now

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

Let me in the walls You've built around We can light a match And burn them down Let me hold your hand And dance 'round and 'round the flames In front of us Dust to dust

Stripped - Shiny Toy Guns (Depeche Mode cover)

Come with me into the trees We'll lay on the grass and let the hours pass Take my hand, come back to the land Let's get away, just for one day...

Take a Bow - Muse

You will risk all their lives and their souls And burn, you will burn You will burn in hell, yeah, you'll burn in hell You'll burn in hell, yeah, you'll burn in hell For your sins

The Hanging Tree

Are you, are you Coming to the tree? Where the dead man called out For his love to flee Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree

Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine

I took the stars from my eyes, and then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you

Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin

Oh, days go by, I'm hypnotized I'm walking on a wire I close my eyes and fly out of my mind Into the fire Oh, light the sky and hold on tight The world is burning down

Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift

Don't you dare look out your window Darling, everything's on fire The war outside our door keeps raging on Hold on to this lullaby Even when the music's gone

Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me - Dala (The Smiths cover)

Last night I felt Real arms around me No hope, no harm Just another false alarm So tell me how long Before The last one

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

Run boy run This ride is a journey to Run boy run The secret inside of you Run boy run This race is a prophecy Run boy run And disappear in the trees

The Catalyst - Linkin Park

God, bless us everyone We're a broken people living under loaded gun And it can't be outfought It can't be outdone It can't be outmatched It can't be outrun

Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie

And I do believe it’s true That there are roads left in both of our shoes But if the silence takes you Then I hope it takes me too So brown eyes I hold you near Cause you’re the only song I want to hear A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Who Wants to Live Forever - Queen

There's no chance for us It's all decided for us This world has only one sweet moment Set aside for us Who wants to live forever?

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack

The first time, ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and the stars Were the gifts you gave To the dark, and the endless sky

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

I came across a fallen tree I felt the branches of it looking at me Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

[pinkymattel]

Colby girls.- I

Sooo, turns out I kinda made a story after years of being inactive in... Well, everywhere.

Some Sashnetra and KerriColby/WillowPill even literally nobody asked for. This is pretty much inspired by Gilmore Girls because I needed some relationship between teenage moody Kerri and cool mom Sasha. I hope you like this, and let me know what you think! :)

- pinkymattel.

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The first thing the girls heard at dawn was the voice of Nicky Minaj singing Anaconda and making the dark-haired jump as usual, falling out of bed and making the owner of the room growl at the thought of being picked up so early. 

"Can you turn that thing off?" Willow asked from the floor, although she knew it would be useless to ask again when she heard snoring from the bed, so she decided to do it herself. The girl swore she didn't snore, but damn it, it looked like a fucking motorcycle going on, and although Willow could record to have evidence from the snoring princess, her kindness always ended up winning, "Keke, time to get up." 

She only received an even louder snore in response. 

"Kerri Elizabeth Colby, pick up your fat ass right now or we'll be late," yelled the girl with all her strength, including a slap on the butt of her best friend who got up just to throw the first pillow she hit. The trick didn't work for her because Willow was more agile and managed to take her by the arms to lift her before she could go to bed again, "Do we really have to do this every day?" 

"Why don't you give up once and for all and make things easier for both of us, Uh?" Kerri whined once she was up, with her hair made a mess. 

"Tell me that you want to miss seeing Daya and Jasmine fight at the English class debate today, and I'll let you go back to bed," Willow smiled with satisfaction to see the girl fall silent, "That's what I thought. I'll see you downstairs in ten minutes. It will be less if you don't want me to finish all the breakfast your mom made for us." 

Willow walked out of the room with all the security of the world, not realizing that Kerri was scanning her from head to toe, especially as she noticed that the over-sized shirt that she used as a pajama had been raised behind her, revealing her ass covered in my little pony panties. 

And Kerri definitely hadn't blushed as the bisexual teen in love with her best friend she was. 

No Sir. 

So after shaking her head, she decided it was time to start with her meticulous daily routine. She started by choosing the right outfit: low-rise jeans and a white crop top along with a pair of matching sneakers and then proceeded to do her makeup precisely to end up with her hair, although there really wasn't much to do because it was perfect by itself. Kerri aspired to maintain that impeccable Y2K aesthetic for which she was known, and if she had to be late for classes to look pretty, she wouldn't hesitate twice. 

Kerri Colby was a princess. Sue her.

She finally went downstairs after collecting her things to find what she considered her two best friends having breakfast while a plate of waffles without syrup waited patiently for her. Willow had told some stupid joke because her mother was laughing, and although she didn't want to admit it, it made her morning completely happy. 

"Well, aloha. Look who deigned to have breakfast with us," Sasha said once her laughter calmed down and they noticed the girl's presence. 

"Aloha, could you stop judging me? It will take me long to look this fabulous," The girl answered, starting to eat while Willow looked curiously at the simple way she ate her waffles like every morning, "You're going tonight, right?" she asked, referring to the football game she would be cheering at. 

"Maybe, only if Michelle lets me go out early. I can't promise anything, Keke," said the woman as she got up for more coffee for herself and orange juice for Willow, who just listened silently with her eyes wide open.

"Aw, I want you to meet the new coach, Ms. Padua is amazing. She let me go to the top of the pyramid this week, and the routines she has been putting in are finally challenging. I'm sure you're going to adore her," explained the brown-haired teen, and Willow was on her side, stating that indeed the new coach was great, "Oh! Mom, I think you could help her. She really needs a new hair dye. Well, a whole new look to be honest, don't you agree, Will?" 

"That was very shady, but yes, you're right," said the girl, making them laugh and climbing up to get ready while Kerri finished her breakfast. 

"Well, I promise you that I will do everything in my power to be able to come and see you tonight," Sasha smiled gently before getting off the table and beginning to collect all the dirty dishes. 

This allowed the younger Colby to look at her mother from head to toe. She looked as beautiful as ever, but that morning, she looked even younger than usual. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she had retouched her brown hair dye the night before in the hair salon where she worked or perhaps because she was wearing her daughter's high heels, "Keke, you're in the clouds again." 

Kerri shook her head clumsily, watching her mother laugh while listening to Willow's steps on the stairs going back and forth frantically. That happened every morning, but it was useless for Kerri to try to ask the dark-haired to have her things ready the night before. Willow was a mess by nature. 

"Kerri, I can't find my neon paintings!" the girl exclaimed in desperation. 

"Have you already checked under the bed? By the side of your yellow boots," Kerri replied calmly, knowing full well that they were there while she heard the horn of Bosco's black car, indicating that she was already there like every morning. 

"Yes! They aren't there. I swear to you that if you hide them, I will- Oh!" After a few seconds, the dark-haired climbed down the stairs quickly and found the Colby girls waiting for her at the entrance with a look not surprised at all, "I found them definitely not there." 

"Anyway, come on. It's getting late." 

The three girls rushed out, Kerri and Willow holding hands, to no one's surprise. Inside the black car, three girls were waiting for them: Bosco in the driver's seat while she sang a Diana Ross song at the top of her lungs, Jorgeous on her right side applying lip gloss as if she was paying for it, and Angeria was crawling in the back just existing. 

"Good morning, Sasha. Gorgeous as always!" Exclaimed Bosco with a smile when she noticed her presence while the others growled in her attempt to flirt with Kerri's mother 

"Good morning, girls. And Bosco, for god's sake, concentrate on the road and try not to kill them." 

"I'll try, but it's hard to do it while I think of your beautiful eyes," Sasha laughed outrageously at the horrified face of her daughter and her other friends. 

"Can we leave now? I need to arrive to put a restraining order on Bosco and then move to another continent," interrupted Kerri, dedicating a murderous smile to the driver and sending a kiss to her mother with the palm of her hand, "Take care. I'll see you later." 

"Until later, ku'uipo"

And with one last smile, they finally made their way to school. 

"I swear by god that if I hear you flirt with my mother again, I will scratch your car until my hand falls off," Kerri said with a threatening smile. 

"Aw, but she's so beautiful!" 

"It would be less disturbing if you tried to make a move to Kerri. I mean, at the end of the day, she's her living copy, and she's your age," said Angeria, smiling sweetly. And Kerri really must have been lost that morning to not notice that the other girls discreetly looked at Willow as she held her hand more tightly, "Or maybe not. I think it's better for everybody if you forget about the Colby girls for a while." 

Amid laughter and lost looks, the five girls finally made it to school. Everything was as chaotic as always, although that day it was even more so thanks to the football match that would take place that afternoon. Their school (much to the dislike of Willow and all the other art nerds) was known for its sporting spirit and for always coming out undefeated in games, as they had the best soccer team and cheerleaders in the state. 

Kerri didn't bother much, to be honest. Since she was a little girl, she had been unable to keep still and had tried everything: dance classes, gymnastics, jumping rope, and cheering. The girl liked everything and had been victorious in most of the tournaments she had attended, to nobody's surprise. Of course, it had a lot to do with the fact that her mother supported her in everything she wanted to try and was her fan number one.

"Are you nervous about tonight's match?" Willow asked as she waited for her to finish taking out her books so they could go together to their first class. 

"Not really. You and Mom will be there, so I have nothing to worry about." 

Kerri was willing to hold her hand and silently address her next class but was interrupted by a boy who clearly had no idea how society and personal space worked because he decided to take the girl from the waist as a form of greeting.

"Colby! You look beautiful today. Ready for tonight's match?" 

"Wow, hi, Calvin. Yes, I'm excited about the game," the girl replied as she quietly parted ways and watched Willow roll her eyes and take two steps forward so she would know she was there in case she needed it, "But we're late to science, and I'm really about to fail that class, so we'll see each other later." 

"Keke, wait!"

The brown-haired closed her eyes with frustration at hearing that nickname. She was determined to take Willow and flee there as soon as possible, but she knew it was useless, so she just decided to give up and became comfortable to see what was going to happen. 

"How did you call her?" Willow angrily asked as the boy repeated with confusion the nickname. It was an almost funny scene, like seeing a little mouse fighting a big lion, scared and confused, "Yeah, I thought I heard that. Look, Calvin, it turns out there are only two people in the world that we can call Kerri that way: her mother and I. If I'm in the mood, our friends too. But you're not on that list, so just call her Kerri, Colby, or better yet, don't call her."

And so, Kerri, still in shock, let the girl take her hand and drive her into the room where indeed, they were already late. 

"Um, hey. Kerri?" Willow asked shyly once they were in the back of the classroom while the teacher tried to explain something, but it was in vain. Everybody was a mess thanks to the excitement of the match. She looked almost fearful, and although Kerri was embarrassingly turned on just minutes ago at how she stood up to one of the toughest football players in school, now she was about to melt at those puppy eyes, "I'm sorry, I was a mess out there. I don't want to take down your chance with Calvin if you like him or something like that... I mean, you can have better than a stupid himbo who thinks football is the center of the universe because you're better than that, but whatever, you're my best friend, and I just want the best for you."

"Baby," whispered the cheerleader without thinking, making both blush at the nickname. Great, she was amazing at being subtle, "I think it was sweet that you did that. I don't want anyone else besides my two favorite people in the universe to call me that," Kerri bit her lip when she saw the smile form on the face of Willow. "Let's forget about Calvin. He doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah, he doesn't matter," Willow tried while she took a lock of brown hair behind her friend's ear with a gaze full of devotion that made Kerri's heart beat fast, "Just you and I, right, Keke?"

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair that Kerri was such a mess for her best friend.

"Right, doll."

Willow smiled brightly at that and set her attention to the attempt of class they were having, encouraging Kerri to do the same.

Although it didn't make much difference, the brown-eyed cheerleader was already lost. She watched Willow quietly take notes as she played with one of her earrings and her nose scrunched when she didn't understand something, not knowing that this gesture seemed completely adorable to her best friend. 

It all started last summer. Or at least Kerri was aware up to that point.

The two had been inseparable since they met when they were eight years-old. Willow's aunt visited the beauty salon where Sasha worked, and they became best friends from the moment they met. They were opposite poles but complemented each other wonderfully. Kerri was the energy-filled bubble that read fashion magazines and was born as a sportswoman, while the dark-haired was rather a weirdo, art, and punk fanatic. One was outgoing and willing to do anything, while the other was more reserved and preferred to be in her secure zone. Both knew everything about each other, and although they had more friends they adored, the bond between them was unique. 

It was one night in the middle of a sleepover, when Sasha finally went to sleep and gave the girls a talk with the TV turned on. They had a deep conversation in which Willow told her how much she wanted to enter that art institute in New York and succeed in doing what she loved most in life. 

That night, as Kerri caressed her hair and listened to her talk with such passion, she knew she was in love with her best friend, and there was nothing she could do to change it. 

So yes, there was a secret that neither of her two best friends knew: Kerri Elizabeth Colby was completely and hopelessly in love with a punk nerd with pretty brown eyes. 

"Keke? Back in the clouds?" Willow said, pulling her out of her thoughts only to realize the class was finally over. 

"Uh, yeah, sorry." 

"It's okay. I'll hand you my notes tomorrow. I doubt you have the head for anything else but the match today," said the dark-haired girl with an adorable smile, making Kerri's heart rush pathetically. She couldn't help it, just seeing her smile, her eyes, her hair, and honestly, everything about Willow made her weak. 

"Yeah, I doubt I can concentrate on anything else." 

*** 

Meanwhile, on the other side of the city, there was a hair salon that was a mess that morning. 

Sasha Colby was trying to finish the pink hair dye that a teenager who was a frequent customer of the place had asked for, although she knew that no matter how well the girl turned out, she would end up crying as usual. Meanwhile, a migraine began to form as she listened to her workmates Israel and Jason (although everybody called them by their drag names: Mistress and Salina, rather than their birth names) made fun of her coworker Loosey like every morning as an excuse not to work while the song that came out of one of the twins' phones repeated over and over again and they performed a ridiculous dance in front of it. 

It was a crazy day, but at least the fact that she knew she was almost done and could take a break from all that mess encouraged her a little. 

"Hello, sash!" Sasha knew she was officially lost when the twins finally got bored recording TikToks and joined her workstation, "I love the color of your hair. Very trendy." 

"Thank you, Spice. You girls have no work to do?" 

"Not really, Sugar's appointment canceled, and I don't have one until an hour," answered the punk twin with a smile, unable to see the sigh Sasha let go of, knowing they would be there until she found her next victim, "How's Kerri?" 

"I can't wait for her to enter college! We will take her to all the iconic bars. Oh! She definitely has to come into our sisterhood. Right, Spice?" 

"Right, Sugar! She will look super adorable with the KPK shirt... Although she won't have it for long with the wet shirts contest and all that," Sasha opened her eyes like dishes before taking her blow dryer and watching the two girls talk about how they would steal her baby, her precious Kerri, to transform her into another Sugar or Spice. 

"You two are crazy if you think I'll let Kerri go with any of you," the woman said before turning on her dryer to avoid hearing the other two girls whining. 

By the time Sasha finished, the twins had finally become bored and had gone to mess with someone else, so after drying her client's tears because, according to her, 'it was the best pinkish hair dye in history,' she was finally able to take a break. Although, before that, she was asked to bring everyone's respective coffee orders. The cafeteria was relatively close by, so she decided to walk with the excuse of taking some fresh air before returning to the same chemical-filled room she worked in. 

Her morning had begun chaotically, but she definitely felt much better being able to walk silently with her thoughts alone. Sasha was thinking about the trip she had planned with Kerri and Willow as a graduation present. Her daughter wanted to travel to Hawaii to see where she had grown up, the sea where she had spent her entire childhood afternoons, and learn the culture of that place, but Sasha wasn't convinced. She hadn't come back home since that fight with her mother and family, where she cut ties with them, but at the same time, she didn't want to break her daughter's illusion. 

Sasha was capable of everything for her. 

"Uh, could you repeat the last order?" asked the confused barista. 

"Yeah, uh, it would be a strawberries and cream frappuccino, add vanilla bean powder and Java chips. Then add a whole banana and top with whipped cream and mocha drizzle, please," Officially, Sasha was dying of shame to see how there was a whole row behind her just because of the stupid infernal orders of the twins. She could swear that the woman behind her laughed a little after repeating it but decided to ignore it. She was probably paranoid. 

The brown-haired woman had to wait for six fucking coffees, so she decided to pay as soon as possible and step aside. She headed to the nearest table, about to check Instagram, when a strange voice pulled her out of her thoughts. 

"Are you planning to drink six sugar-filled coffees by yourself?" 

Sasha looked up only to find the most intimidating pair of eyes in the world. 

She was a blonde, almost white-silver-haired woman who wore sporting attire and expected an answer from her with a teasing smile. She was beautiful in a way she couldn't describe, almost mesmerizing with that naughty expression and the scar that started on her left eyebrow all the way down to below her eye. And now, Sasha had never believed in love at first sight, but damn, maybe she could be the exception. 

"Uh, they're for my coworkers, actually," she replied nervously. 

"I see. Can I wait here? There are no more tables available and my order goes after your diabetes feast," Sasha nodded with a smile, too lost in the beauty of the blonde to notice that there were five other tables available around her, "My name is Anetra," the girl officially introduced herself, extending her hand with a lovely smile. 

"Sasha, a pleasure," a mini cardiac arrest happened in the woman's chest when she shook her hand and was about to faint, but she was quickly composed. 

"Cute name, Sasha. You seem familiar to me, have I seen you somewhere before?" 

"Uh, I work at the hair salon 'Visage' a few streets here. Maybe you've been there once," although deep down, Sasha knew there was no way someone like Anetra would have passed her by. 

"Nah, clearly I haven't walked into a beauty salon in a long time," she mocked, referring to her blond hair unwashed, "But I have a friend working there, what a coincidence! Mistress. Or well, Israel really, Mistress Isabelle Brooks is her drag name, so I'm used to calling her that." 

Sasha's smile only grew bigger when she learned they had something in common. It didn't matter if Mistress mocked her for the rest of her days; at least she knew there was an excuse to see her again. 

"Sure, Mistress! She's a real bomb, I adore her." 

"Yeah, me too, although sometimes she can be too much," Yeah, Sasha knew what she meant, "We met in college. If you ever need material to threaten her, I have pictures of her in drag for the first time, I swear it's a wonder," said Anetra, smiling at the woman's laughter in front of her. 

"It will definitely be helpful, so I'll take the offer.'' The woman smiled gently and involuntarily took a lock of hair behind her ear as she did every time she was nervous. She could feel Anetra's green eyes studying each movement of her, so she decided to break the silence to distract herself a little, "What about you? Do you also work near here?" 

"I live in an apartment two blocks away. In fact, I was also getting ready for work. I'm going to need some caffeine, today is going to be a little bit insane," the blonde's penetrating look made Sasha nervous, but she was definitely enjoying whatever was going on. Being a single, openly lesbian mother, you could say she didn't get much attention from intensely beautiful women like the one in front of her unless she was alone. Besides, it isn't as if all that interaction was some kind of flirtation... Or so she thought, "Sasha, can I be completely honest with you?" Oh no, here it was. Something bad was about to happen. "I think you're fucking stunning, and I had to force the barista to have my order after yours to have the guts to approach you and talk to you." 

Oh. 

Officially, for the first time in a long time, Sasha Colby had run out of words. 

"Uh, is this some kind of joke?" Sasha wanted to pat herself on the forehead when she realized what she said, "Because there's no way someone like you wants to sit down and talk to someone like me because you thought I look pretty after spending hours in a room full of whining clients and bitchy coworkers." 

Anetra smiled and took her hand gently. She was about to say more, but the voice of the barista behind the counter said that their orders were readily interrupted that moment. 

"Why don't I take you back to work and prevent those six coffees from falling on you and ruining your cute purple dress? You look gorgeous in it. It would be a shame." 

Sasha agreed with a nervous smile and blushed cheeks. The girl's black car was waiting for them, and like a gentlewoman, the blonde opened the door. The heart of the hairdresser was beating quickly to see how hot Anetra was driving. It should be a crime to look so good doing something as simple as driving. I mean, it could distract the other drivers and cause an accident! 

"Uh, thank you so much for the ride," said the woman in a purple dress, unsure what she should do now, "I think I'll see you soon. You know, for Mistress." 

"Sasha, can I have your number?" asked the other girl, determined as Sasha watched her coworkers start looking at them through the big window in front. 

"Uh?" 

"Okay, call me crazy, but I think you and I should go on a date. You are beautiful and fascinating, and honestly, I must know more about you or I think I will have to move to another city to forget your beautiful eyes." 

The hairdresser's cheeks turned pink. It was funny how she just went for a coffee and ended up bumping into the most beautiful woman in town, asking for a date. Obviously, Sasha wanted to scream her yes, she wanted to give her her number and talk to her all night long, make plans for a date in that Italian restaurant where she could barely afford a glass of wine with her salary in the salon and she also wanted to kiss her when she took her back home. She knew there was a high probability that this would happen. 

But then what? 

What would happen when Anetra found out that she had a teenage daughter she adored with all her heart? Sasha couldn't afford to think selfishly, Kerri was her priority before all things, and besides, she was never good with one-night stands anyways. She knew she was unable to date the blonde, get to know her even more, and pretend that none of that happened when Anetra found out she was a single mother. 

"Anetra, I-" Sasha sighed heavily, wishing she could understand everything telepathically to avoid two broken hearts, "I also think you are fucking gorgeous and amazing, and I have no doubt you are someone interesting, but I can't do this," the smile on her face disappeared slowly, "I don't want to disappoint you."

"Honey, what are you talking about?" The blonde's sweet voice only made Sasha's heart weaker. Her gaze reflected despair. Anetra really wanted to take her on a date, and it was killing her, "Please, I doubt there is anything that could disappoint me. I just want to get to know you better and have a good time, sweetie." 

The brown-haired woman only smiled before looking into her eyes one last time. 

"Sorry, Anetra. I would love to be your friend, but only that," lied Sasha, unable to see her in the eyes while that came out of her mouth, "Thank you so much for bringing me. I hope to meet you again." 

And without giving her another chance to fight for her, Sasha cowardly walked out, trying to handle seven stupid coffees with a lump in her throat. When she opened the door, all her coworkers ran out like cockroaches, pretending they had seen nothing of what had happened outside. All except for Mistress, who was looking at her with a beaming smile ready to attack her, but after seeing her condition, she wiped out her smile altogether and instead, a gesture of concern took place. 

"Sasha?"  

"It's the last time I offer to go for coffees!" the woman sentenced angrily. Although the feeling of sadness invaded her once again as she turned around and saw Anetra's black car begin to move away from the place, "Sugar, you owe me $20 for that stupid milkshake you call coffee." 

The rest of the afternoon was tense enough for someone to come to bother Sasha. After seeing the state in which she returned, no one was brave enough to speak to her and honestly, although the woman with expressive eyes felt guilty after the twins approached with puppies eyes to return her drinks money, she decided that she didn't want to make an effort to say a word either. 

She kept thinking about the blonde she had met and who had invited her out. She thought of her pretty green eyes and the scar she had, about her smile and her deep voice that sped up her heart. Anetra was the only thing on her mind, or at least it was until she received a message from Kerri asking her if she was able to attend the game so that Willow would take a place away from Bosco. 

Kerri was the only one who could pull a smile on her face that afternoon. 

So after pleading to Michelle, her boss, to let her go early, Sasha finally managed to put the green-eyed woman in the back of her mind to concentrate on the priority she loved so much. She arrived at school a little late because it was so full that it had been a difficult task to find a parking spot, but once she did, she ran as fast as she could to meet Willow and her daughter's other friends who were as excited about the game as the rest of the crowd. 

"Hello, Sash," greeted the dark-haired girl with a tired smile as she removed her things and freed up the space she had set aside. 

"Hello, Will," answered Sasha as she greeted the other girls with a smile and looked for Kerri. Apparently, the cheerleaders hadn't come out yet, but seeing the players already on the bench listening to their coach's directions indicated that they would appear soon, "How is our girl?" 

"She's fine, just a little bit nervous. Apparently, her coach had an argument with the captain in today's training, and things are a bit tense on the team." 

"Was Kerri involved?" Sasha's maternal senses were immediately activated, making Willow laugh at her paranoia. 

"Nah, she's Ms. Padua's protege. I think it's more likely that the sea will dry out before she's scolded," the girl explained as she took a pot of popcorn that one of her friends had given her and offered it to Sasha, whom she accepted as a courtesy. The food they sold at football matches wasn't something she was really interested in, "Oh! There they are!" 

Indeed, the cheerleaders came out in their blue uniforms and waved their pompoms back and forth while shouting the name of the team over and over again, encouraging people to get up from their seats and make even more noise than they already did. A smile formed on Sasha's face as Kerri looked for them, and when she finally did, she greeted them with the same enthusiasm as she had done in all her recitals since she was a kid.

"Ugh, she's the prettiest of the whole team. I don't understand why she's not up to the front," Willow said in frustration and immediately blushed when she realized what she had said. Sasha could only smile at that but decided not to say anything to shame her, "Also, the most talented! Not only is she pretty, I mean, the others are too, but Kerri deserves it more and- Oh! It's already beginning. We better watch the game; I love football!" 

Sasha had her suspicions that something was going on between the pair, but she preferred to wait for someone to say something about it. 

As expected, neither Willow nor Sasha had any idea what the hell was going on in the camp, so they just clapped when the others did it and took pictures of Kerri whenever the cheerleaders did something important. Both of them knew how significant it was for the other girl to be there to support her, and although they hated that environment, in the end, they couldn't help but celebrate that the team came out victorious. 

The whole place turned into a mess as soon as the match ended, so the girls decided to wait in the same place as always for Kerri and her friends. Sasha decided to spend some time alone with the teenagers, greeting from afar the mothers of Jorgeous and Camden, who were also waiting for their daughters, who were on the cheerleading team with Kerri. She had never been good at talking to the mothers of her daughter's friends, although she was always polite. Usually, women found her a little immature and weird because she had Kerri too young, and she knew they definitely talked about her background, so she was always left aside when it came to going out for coffee with the other mothers. It wasn't as if she really cared. Sasha was happy with her daughter and friends, who seemed to trust her. 

"Mom!" her smile only got bigger when she saw her daughter running into her arms. She had changed her uniform and now wore a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with the school logo, but she was the prettiest in Sasha's eyes, "Did you like it?" 

"Keke, I was completely fascinated! Although I must admit it almost gives me a heart attack when they raised you at the top of the pyramid," Sasha joked as Willow joined them and hugged the brown-haired cheerleader. That pair definitely got something between hands, and Sasha was dyíng to know, "Well, are you ready to go home? I can order pizza to celebrate if you girls are in the mood," that seemed to put a smile on the girls faces, at least until the dark-haired girl realized something and her expression fell, making her separate a little uncomfortable. 

"Uh, I actually have to go back to with my aunt today, the social worker will go early tomorrow, and if I'm not there, they'll kill me," explained the girl with her head down. The Colby girls knew how much Willow hated going home, but they also knew how uncomfortable it made her when they brought it up, so Sasha jst hugged her, and Kerri took her hand with sweetness, "I'm sorry to miss our Friday girly-movie nights. But you aren't going to save of me next week; we'll watch Mars Attacks again!" 

Sasha and Kerri growled at the idea while the dark-haired was laughing. But they knew they would be able to watch that movie over and over again to make her happy. 

After a long farewell to Willow (as if they weren't going to see her the next day), mother and daughter were about to leave while joking about how Kerri's friends had tried to convince her to do a bring-it-on routine when they were interrupted by a strange voice calling the younger Colby. 

"Colby! You forgot this in the dressing rooms!" 

That deep voice became too familiar to Sasha, who felt her heart paralyzed for a few seconds before gathering courage and finally turning around. And indeed, there she was, the woman with green eyes who had been in her mind all afternoon. Anetra looked at her with her eyes wide open, unable to move, but after a few seconds where her gaze alternated with looking at Sasha and Kerri, something seemed to click inside her, and she could only smile mischievously. 

"Oh! Thank you, Mom would have killed me if I lost another one of these in less than a month," Kerri joked with a smile as she grabbed the pair of AirPods held by her trainer and dragged her mother, ready to introduce them. Sasha refused internally. She knew that if she approached and interacted again with that woman, she would fall at her feet without caring about anything else, "Ms. Padua, she's my mom, Sasha. Mom, she's my coach, Ms. Padua." 

"Anetra Padua, a pleasure," how the hell dared to take out the card of going crazy? And even more with that annoying, stupid smile as she scanned her from head to toe. Sasha was officially losing her head, "Kerri has talked a lot to me about you, Sasha Colby," Okay, now she was playing dirty by saying her name in that deep voice. 

"Uh, yeah. Same," the brown-haired hairdresser tried to hide her nervousness at seeing her daughter raising a brow conspiratorially. The last thing she needed was to have to explain to Kerri about her love life, "Good job over there, the girls really looked good today." 

"Yeah, I think the same. Not to boast, but I have the best team of cheerleaders in the state," replied the blonde without looking away from Sasha at least until she realized that one of her students was suspiciously observing them and had to cough uncomfortably to get out of her trance, "Well, I guess I'll see you girls later. Kerri, great job today," the girl smiled brilliantly at the words of her trainer, "Sasha, it was really a pleasure to meet you." 

And with one last handshake, Anetra and Sasha exchanged glances before the blonde disappeared into the crowd. 

"Well, that was strange," Kerri said to break the silence and force her mother back on her way to her car. 

But Sasha couldn't help but turn around every five seconds to see that the interaction wasn't a hallucination. Anetra was still in the middle of the parking lot as people kept coming out, and she was talking to a couple of teachers that Sasha recognized thanks to her daughter. However, the unexpected happened when out of nowhere, a blonde with a pretty smile came behind Anetra to surprise her by circling her waist and kissing her cheek. 

The hairdresser's heart sped up to see that scene. She felt disappointed, angry, empty, and many other things. Of course, Anetra was in a relationship! It was a crime for a woman like her to be single, but she couldn't help but feel stupid when she realized it had all been a joke. Those green eyes had tried to seduce her only to make fun of her. 

"Oh, I guess Angie was right after all. Ms. Padua and Ms. Marcia are in a relationship," Kerri said, looking in the direction where her mother had her eyes stuck. Those words only made Sasha feel worse, who just turned on the vehicle and ran away from it once and for all, being the bright smile of Anetra the last thing she saw of the place, "Mom, are you okay? You look a little pale." 

"I'm fine, just a little tired." 

"Oh, that means we'll leave our Friday's girly-movie night for next week?" asked Kerri in a disappointed tone. And as always, Sasha didn't have the heart to deny something to her best friend. 

"Nah. It's nothing a bowl of cereal and ice cream can't fix." 

Upon arriving home, Kerri ran at the speed of light to take off her shoes and turn on the TV while offering to collect everything needed for her girls' night so that Sasha could enter her room to become more comfortable. But Anetra couldn't get out of her memory, and although Sasha was trying to concentrate on following her skincare routine step by step, in her head, she repeated over and over again the way a much younger and prettier blonde had hugged her. The hairdresser wanted to be angry with the green-eyed woman for lying, but it was impossible. She just felt disappointed with life. 

Clearly, something as good as a woman like Anetra inviting her out couldn't happen to Sasha. 

She wasn't worthy of such a thing. 

"Hey, you took your time, huh? I had to start with the ice cream without you. I swear it's not an excuse," Sasha smiled when she saw the show in front of her. Kerri had made a fort with sheets and pillows, there were several VHS on the floor and a lot of junk food waiting for them. 

So Sasha decided that as long as her daughter existed, the rest didn't matter. 

"Well, what shall we watch tonight? Mean girls? 13 going 30? Aquamarine?" If Willow and Kerri had one thing in common, it was how predictable they were when choosing films. But the hairdresser didn't care much; she loved spending time with them, although it meant watching the same five movies all the time. 

"Actually, I thought about seeing something different today. I hope you don't mind." 

It was then that Sasha realized that the VHS tapes in front of her were home videos that she had filmed when she used to be a performer. 

She obviously agreed with a nostalgic smile. 

The first video was an empty nightclub in Manhattan, featuring a huge disco ball in the middle of the dancefloor as a song started to play in the distance before finally showing three drag queens ready to start the night with colorful wigs and dresses full of sequins. Sasha remembered them so fondly that she felt her heart pounding at their image. 

The three girls had helped her when she arrived in the big city after being kicked out by her mother. They were her family when she needed it most, the ones who wiped her tears in her worst moments and those who taught her to put on makeup and walk with heels. They were the ones who held Kerri in their arms for the first time and who started crying to rivers in her first Christmas recital when the little girl came out dressed as a reindeer, with her red nose and the most beautiful dress made by her chosen family. 

But now there was only the memory of those happy days, and that made Sasha jump when her daughter took her hand firmly and wiped away the tears she didn't know had come out. 

"I miss them too," Kerri admitted with a smile. She remembered her three aunties fondly and talked to them whenever she could, but she knew it wasn't the same. However, the Colby girls already had a home in that city, and that was something they loved more than anything else. 

Suddenly, a new video began, and Kerri gasped with excitement, releasing her mother's hand to sit as close to the TV as possible, even though she knew that video by heart, making Sasha laugh in the process.

The first notes of "Always on my mind" by the Pet Shop Boys flooded the room as a young Sasha Colby came on stage. The lights shone and made the sequins of the silver bodysuit she wore stand out even more, though, to be honest, there was nothing brighter to Kerri than her mother's smile in that video. She performed that song as if it had been written just for her. The way she moved her hips and swirled around on the stage, filling herself with cheerings, was magical to see. Kerri didn't even want to blink. That was her favorite performance of her mother; it was her favorite moment: seeing the passion and love she gave to the stage made her skin chill at every second. 

"You look so pretty," Kerri muttered with a smile, unable to look away from the TV. She wanted to remember every movement, every gesture, and smile of her mother as possible, "Someday, I will be like you." 

A knot formed in Sasha's throat when she heard those words, and her eyes fixed on the girl next to her. Kerri murmured the song and recreated the moves she had done that night, looked at the image with devotion, and smiled every time she did so. Sasha could remember everything that happened that day perfectly well: it was the day of her 20th birthday. The performance was after a call with her mother, where they broke her heart to hear how much shame she gave to her family. 

That night, Cassandra, the first drag queen she met when she arrived in the big city, wiped her tears and made her part of her family. She gave her the most fucking stunning bodysuit she had ever created and was at her side when Sasha performed that song, where she sang the lyrics just for herself: to show how much she was going to love herself from that moment on. 

But it wasn't until that night that Sasha realized that she hadn't only performed for herself: she had also performed for Kerri Colby. 

"Kerri," called her sweetly, but the girl was only able to turn to see her when she finished the song, and the smile on her face remained intact, "I don't need you to be anyone other than yourself."

[hornedadvance]

Horned Advance

Chapter Dusk

It was a night very much like this one. Ever since I was exiled from that place, ever since I chose the lifestyle of a desperado, I had fought night after night, taking what I wanted and slaying whoever sought to stop me. That was the life I was living; the life I intended to live until I was slain in the same way. I saw no problem with it, pillaging and killing to live is the natural order of life is it not? Survival of the fittest, if you will. I was just another cog in the world’s motions… That was until that night, where she descended upon me.

It was a dark, moody, grisly night much like this one. The moon sat in the sky, its dim light doing little to illuminate the lands shaded by the hulking sand dunes; the stars nowhere to be seen, obscured by an overcast blanket. I spotted a small figure, cloaked in silk walking alone along the dirty desert paths. From a safe distance I made out as much detail as I could, spying a dainty, fragile looking woman covered by an expensive looking shawl. Jackpot. Situations like these didn’t come by often, and I wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth… So naturally, I began to trail her. Creeping, just out of sight, using the shadows as cover as I had grown so accustomed to, I closed the gap between the two of us like nothing and before either of us knew it I was upon her.

I pounced on the girl, she didn’t even begin to turn to face me, so I knew my success was assured, as I readied my dagger to slit her throat before she could even manage a scream. I had her, and my next month of living with her. That’s what I thought at the time. It’s what I kept thinking for the next few moments, before my mind caught up with the events that happened in that instant. My dagger met a hard clunk where I’d expected the girl’s bare throat to be and in that instant, I was knocked to the ground. I’d been laid out on my ass, knocked over by a completely unseen force before my eyes could even process it. Fear washed over me as for the first time I had met someone who not only saw my attack coming, but effortlessly swatted me away as if I were a leaf passing by in the wind. Then, the girl turned to me.

Her eyes shone brighter than the moon itself at that moment, as it hung above her head like some sort of picturesque set. She stared deep into my soul in a moment of silence as my mind reeled to find its bearings before I lunged at her again, undeterred by the faltering of my heart. Again, in an instant, a clang rang loudly into my ears and I was back on the ground. I’d faced down powerful opponents time and time again until now, but nothing like this. The gap between the two of us was night and day and my soul shook knowing that I stood no chance against this woman. “Wh-Who are you?...” I managed, trying to hide the fear from my voice.

“I am Vena.”

 The girl said, her voice smoother than any silk known to man. 

“I am the one who will bring change to these lands… And I am not one who will be stopped by a simple brigand.” 

She continued, lowering her silken hood. As she did, I was enraptured by the sight that met my eyes. Long, flowing hair the colour of twilight, seemingly unbound by the weight of the world. Fair, gleaming skin without blemish or imperfection. A beautiful, elegant face adorned with sharp, ladylike features… And atop it all, two grandiose curved horns. My heart fluttered, excited to have finally found someone like me- but terrified of the wrath I had incurred from her. The woman standing just a few feet from me looked like a personal sculpture of god, her presence growing more imposing by the second and with ability to match.

She took a step closer to me. My heart skipped a beat. She took another… My breathing quickened. Another step… My instincts started to scream for me to escape but my body was stiff, in my first moment of weakness I was stuck… And then she spoke.

“You… You’re like me, aren’t you? One blessed with the gift…One with the potential to bring change.” 

I knew not how she could tell I was horned under the faint moonlight, nor what she meant with her vague statements, but she gave me no time to dwell on it. 

“Tell me, bandit, what is your name?”

“My name… i-it’s… t– Dusk.” I stammered out, my head spinning as I tried to process the thoughts rushing through my head.

“Dusk, is it? Say, Dusk. Why don’t you join me?” A strange, unusual question. I’d attacked her, fully intending to take her life and she’s offering to take me in? To what, even? Is she going to haul me off to some manor and keep me in a cage to show to her friends? I know nothing of this woman, I know nothing of her intentions and every bone in my body tells me to run… Despite it all, before I even realised, the words spoke from my mouth. “Y-Yes my lady. I will.” 

Was it fear? A paralysing, agonising fear that made me submit to her so easily? Or was it her enchanting presence, her simple gaze intoxicating enough for me to let my guard down… I was never one to bow my head to another. Hell, I burned my past because I wouldn’t submit to what people expected from me… But this woman. Something about her had a vice grip on my heart. I felt terror as her gaze pierced through me, but also a strange overwhelming sense of excitement. Like this is what I was meant to be… Like she was what I was put here for. Perhaps it was an excuse in the end. Perhaps I was just looking for a sense of direction, a banner to place myself beneath to feel some security. Maybe it was all of these things… Not that it matters anymore.

I am Dusk. Her grace Vena’s right hand, and her fist of iron. I am her eyes, her reach and her executioner's axe. Since then M’lady has only grown, in power, ideals and presence. I feel suffocated standing next to her, and looking at her still sets my heart ablaze. I care not whether her cause is righteous, nor whether we will see opposition. I simply care for her. A roaming goddess like her could never be wrong, after all. A goddess need not dirty her hands, either. To see her ambitions come to fruition, to be a pillar of her ideals, to be an essential pawn in her gameplan. As her humble servant, I could ask for nothing more.

~ Yours faithfully, Dusk.

Link to All Chapters

[malevolantkitcheen]

hai!! I saw you're JJK match works and they are really good so if they're still open I thought i could make a request? she/they (female) | Leo | ENFP bisexual so men or women is fine I don't really have preference Looks wise, I'm pretty tall around 165 cm, tan, dark brown eyes and short dark brown hair (I think the best way to explain my hair cut is like a wolf cut but not that many layers?), I'd say I'm thin and kinda flat, my hands are kinda veiny and my nails are uneven since I tend to cut them when I'm nervous Personality wise, I'm very extroverted so much so that I get energy from being around people I like, especially people I consider close friends (I'm an only child so sometimes I wish I had a sibling). I'm also very friendly I love making friends and I'd say I'm very loyal too I just like talking to people in general. I can also get a bit overwhelming for some people which I totally understand I'm the type of girl who flirts with her girl friends and teases them constantly but I also get really flustered when someone teases me. I don't like some people though and If I don't like someone I can get really rude and moody but I'm also really moody if I'm just not in the mood sometimes I tend to lash out at people but I feel really bad after. I also end up crushing on the worst people I've never been in an actual real relationship so I just crush on people for some drama in my life. Hobby wise, I'm a music girl I play guitar, piano, kalimba, ukulele, and I sing (I'm also currently learning how to play bass) I'm actually a lead singer in a band. I'm also interested in art, video editing, coding and gaming. Subject wise I like math physics chemistry and computer but they can get kind of stressful at times. I also love dressing up and buying random merch and cute things I've always wanted to cosplay and my clothing style changes every day I'm also a really big jewellery person and i love collecting fun earrings and stationary. Thank you I'm sorry if it's a bit too much hope you have a good day!! <3

For Jujutsu-Kaisen, i match you with

Yuji Itadori

(male match, send in a nother request if you would like a female match too! I am more than happy to do both! <3)

- At first, Yuji came across as relatively awkward, especially around you. He would mainly stick to following Megumi and Nobara around, but the two of you would share occasionally glances from time to time. He was hesitant to come and talk to you but you made it clear very quickly that you were far from intimidating. It took little to no time for you two to find things in common because as soon as you would find a topic of conversation, Yuji would let his words run away with him. At times he wasn’t a great listener due to the fact he was a little bit of a motor mouth when he got comfortable with his friends, but he would always realise eventually and be extremely apologetic, which you found adorable. Despite his very vocal opinions, he loved listening to you talking about almost anything and everything; he found you fascinating.

- At times you would worry that you were getting on his nerves because you were getting carried away with the conversation, but Yuji would always reassure you that it was more than okay and that you were simply just really interested in whatever you were talking about. You loved this about him because most people would get frustrated and just stop listening all together. He just truly understood you. Of course there were still some occasions where you would be a little off, especially if you hadn’t had the greatest of days. At first, Yuji didn’t really know what to do because he hadn’t been in these kinds of situations, more so because he didn’t want to upset you any further. However, it didn’t take him very long to figure out what the best ways to help you were, even it just meant sitting in comfortable silence with you, so you knew that he was there if you needed anything.

- Sometimes, Yuji would feel as though you weren’t interested in him as you would bring up other people on occasions, of course you weren’t doing this maliciously, but it still made him a little bit doubtful at times. Despite this, he was determined to stay by your side no matter what because you truly meant everything to him. He hadn’t really made any advancements towards you romantically but he didn’t really hide his feelings very well because much like you, he got flustered extremely easily and even just being around you would often make him smile and blush.

[in-my-feels-probably]

Congrats on your 600 followers, your writing is amazing, i loved the rhaenyra x shapshiter reader especially. Mind if i request a match up from game of thrones(romantic)?

I'm a lesbian with she/they pronouns, I'm INTP 5w6 aquarius. I am 5'4 with very long black hair and dark brown eyes, I'm a bit of a tomboy but i don't mind wearing feminine stuff often. I like wearing darker clothes but i also like wearing soft colors like light blue or pink even. I also have black nails and black stud earrings.

I'm a very timid and quiet person. I have social-anxiety and i rarely talk to anyone unless it's my close friend or family. Some people might think I'm mute because I'm so silent. Besides that I'm pretty level-headed, kind, friendly and like to help if i can. Though at times I might hurt someone feelings since I'm brutally honest, I apologize after. I'm also the type of person to go with the flow because i want to take things easily and not make a big deal out of it, I'm a neutral person when hearing people's opinions unless it's questionable. I'm kinda slow to process some jokes and i zone out a lot since I like to be on my mind and because my sleep schedule is messed up. I like listening to my friends talk!! I hate to see my friends hurt or upset and try my hardest to comfort them. I cheer them up by doing things for them or taking care of them (my love languages are quality time and acts of service)

Interests: Reading, Horror Books, listening Music (classical and metal), sleeping, I'm a fan of oolong tea and passion tea, I like relaxing in quiet places while listening to music or reading, I like well-clean things and spicy food.

I don't really like trouble and like to stay out of it. I dislike loud people or insensitive people. I also don't like crowds and prefer to be alone. I get nervous when i meet people i don't know and pushes myself to a corner hoping they won't see me, I hate being disturbed when I'm relaxing or when i'm tired then I might come off grumpy, I hate being made fun of even if it may sound like a harmless joke, i get moody after, I really hate when things are out of place or unclean. Oh yeah i don't like cake too 😭

Hobbies: I really like reading books, especially mystery or horror(maybe even romance). I'm also good at painting/drawing but i get fustrated because I get artblock. Other times i like making things out of paper like flowers, birds, etc.

Other info: I have an uncontrollable strength, I don't work out it's just that when I pinch people payfully slightly they say it hurts really bad 💀

I think that's it, have a good new year and a good day ♡ 👧

hi! thank you for participating :)

i ship you with sansa!

especially in the later seasons, she became a lot more reserved. i think she’d need someone calm and on the quiet side, someone to keep her company. i think she’d be afraid to get involved with anyone, especially after all that happened to her. but i think she’d be drawn to you. you’d remind her of home, and quiet peaceful evenings she had as a child, maybe with her father. it would be one of the things she missed most, even when she returned to winterfell, and you’d be a small piece of the life she used to have. you’d be an instant comfort. you being quieter, she’d have to be the one to approach you first. you’d intrigue her, and she’d find herself doing things to spend time with you. you’d warm up to each other fast. you’d be an excuse for her to get away from her responsibilities so she could be with you. you’d know how to comfort her when she needed it, and she’d feel comfortable talking to you about anything she needed to get off her chest. she just wants to be in the north with her people, separate from the rest of the world. she’d be content to do that with you, it would be so easy. she’d love talking to you, telling you stories or explaining how her day went, appreciating that you were actually listening.

she had to grow up so fast, she’d be such a different person compared to the girl she was before she left winterfell the first time. you’d understand that, and she’d know that it didn’t bother you. shed have a much sharper tongue, able to stand up for you or correct a situation if she needed to. she’d seek you out during the day, wanting to sit with you while you read or did your art. she’s quite the artist too, making her own clothes. you could sit together and work on your projects, either helping each other with them, or just being content enough to work in peace next to each other.

maybe one day, she’d be sitting with you, telling you about home. somehow, you’d get to the topic of sweets.

“lemon cakes are my favorite. i miss the way the cooks made them when i was young.”

you’d pretend to like cake, and she’d be absolutely appalled once she found out you don’t actually like it.

“what? how can you not like lemon cakes? that is absurd, we have to make them now.”

you’d spend a day in the kitchens, making her laugh and smile. she wouldn’t even care that you’d scrunch your nose up at the taste when they were finished, just happy that she got to spend the day with you.

“i may not like cake,” you’d say, resting your hand on her arm. “but i do like your dress. you’ll have to show me how you made it one day.”

she’d smile, happily agreeing to.

[152glasslippers]

7, 18, 27, 32, 46, 54, 69, 72, 83, 91 for spotify wrapped (and because I love you and care about you and your wrapped and want to listen to the songs you listen to 💖🌙🎵)

7. Want Want – Maggie Rogers if you got a moment I want on it and if you got another hour I want all of it btw. if you even care.

18. Wildflower – Mel Bryant & the Mercy Makers no matter how many times I listen to this song ‘you can’t sleep on the floor cause you’re scared of heights’ hits like a slap in the face every. fucking. time.

27. Feels Like – Gracie Abrams ‘our clothes matched enough to throw me off a bit’ Ms. Abrams lifted this lyric from my diary is2g

32. Seen It Coming – Bob Moses [lady gaga amazing/showstopping/spectacular voice] haunting moody foreboding sexy; ‘look into my eyes and tell me can you see your reflection’ FUCKS so severely

46. Dancing in the Dark – Madeline no offense to Mr. Springsteen but this is the version that made me fall in love with this song

54. No One Dies From Love – Tove Lo NO ONE DIES FROM LOVE!!!!!!!!!! GUESS I’LL BE THE FIRST!!!!!!!!!! Tove continues to be the queen of club tracks that come for your throat

69. Holding Back – Banks her vocals on this track are INSANE; I really think you’ll love the bridge on this one bestie

72. The Promise – Samia, Jelani Aryeh such a simple, sweet cover; probably popped up on my discover weekly after all my 80s eddissy listening which is perfect because this song is literally them 💗

83. I Keep – BROODS, Tove Lo I LOVE WHEN MY FAVES COLLABORATE WITH MY FAVES feels good feel organic (feels electric)

91. Meteorite – Banks a whore anthem and a masterclass in lyricism!!!!!! half the lyrics in my ‘serpentina + favorite lyrics’ edits came from this song and I am ~this close~ to listing them all again; seriously, everyone go listen to it right now

[alecbicheno]

FMP blog

08/07/2024

Today was my weekly meeting with Wayne where he made two points that I’m going to focus on this week.

The first was to focus on the lighting of the scene, making sure that I keep it interesting and avoiding the standard Unreal Engine scene lighting. Then in that same vein, he mentioned getting a different skybox to match the weather. So, I plan to get a skybox which has a moody sky with lots of clouds, but not one that’s at night, as I feel the lighting would be too dark.

Over the past week I’ve also found myself looking at the foliage around where I live. The weather by me has been very dry then very wet, causing the plants to grow large very fast, and as I’ve been driving round for various life reasons, I’ve found myself being inspired by how it looks and thinking about it for reference. Not just how the different types of plants grow around each other and their distribution, but also the whole scene, as the weather is exactly like what I’m imagining in the scene in unreal engine.

From there I did a bit more modelling. I made a decision to change the door into a square shape, as it is will be easier to work with, and matched the aesthetic better in my opinion. Like before I used the Boolean modifier to cut out a hole in the concrete.

I wanted to make it obvious that the doorframe was a sperate piece from the concrete wall instead of just having some heavy metal doors attached to concrete. I did an inset on the cube to sort out the doors and doorframe topology, then positioned everything how I wanted it.  

I also used the spin tool then mirror modifier to create the handle, however it took me a few tries with the spin tool before the handle looked good and had good topology.

I’ve also had a realisation of some good processes I’ve been doing these past few days.

I have been making the outside scene in the Unreal Engine level, and the process I have followed has been very by the book of using primary sources as inspiration for what I made in the scene instead of simply just placing plants everywhere with the brush. So, in that sense I’m quite proud of myself. That being said, am also annoyed with myself as I’ve had a bit of poor planning this past week, as I’ve lost a good amount of working time due to the 2024 Euro being on, then having a long shift at work the next day.

But overall, I am pleased with the work I have done this week. My next steps will be to finish modelling for the scene and from there get everything textured and into Unreal Engine to assemble it all, so I can finally work on the last scene I need to do.

References

Klootwijk, M., 2022. Big massive hermetic metal armored door of WW2 military bunker, the Netherlands. [Online] Available at: https://www.alamy.com/big-massive-hermetic-metal-armored-door-of-ww2-military-bunker-the-netherlands-image471945871.html [Accessed 8 July 2024].

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise Chapter 18

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

Full chapter 18 under the cut:

Chapter Eighteen:

There is some lingering pain coursing through me but it’s dull. Mostly, my jaw throbs occasionally and I can feel the start of a bruise against my stomach. It’ll be tender for a while, I’m sure of that.

I’m glad I didn’t wear my glasses—that’s one thought that greets me upon consciousness. I’d hate to lose another pair to Oswald’s apartment.

My eyes crack open and the first thing I see is a red haze. The light in the room is low, moody, and I can’t tell what time it is because the window is sealed shut. And not just with a blackout curtain but tinfoil is taped over the window and a curtain hangs over that. I can see the slight shimmer of the foil as it peeks out from behind the dark drapery.

A ceiling fan whirls at a steady pace over my head yet it barely circulates any air. The room is hot and stuffy so I’m almost grateful that I’m not wearing much clothing. Only my briefs, actually.

I’m not sure how that happened.

I attempt to pull myself up but my hands won’t budge. Cool metal is clasped around my wrists and secured to the bedpost. I don’t notice until now—until I try to move.

My brow furrows and I test the strength of the handcuffs. They feel high quality as if they’re the kind issued by police rather than the kind that can be bought at a sex shop. For a second I wonder where Oswald has gotten these from but I quickly decide that it’s unimportant. Perhaps, like his groceries, these also just appeared in his apartment.

The brain fog is still present but I’m able to think outside of it as well—I’m just not sure I’ll be able to speak my mind when Oz comes back. I can already see where the scene is going based off of the panic that’s unfolding in the other half of my brain.

I’m able to keep it well contained but I do peer in to see what I’m “supposed” to be thinking.

This bastard has me trapped!

Cuffed to a damn bed!

Of course he has something sleazy like handcuffs at the ready…

Just wait until I can break myself out of here. I’ll kill him this time—I swear. I was too lenient before but now…I can’t risk this kind of freak running loose, capable of hurting Kade. Even if it causes my love to hate me, I will end this man’s life.

I have to.

No, I really don’t, I think in the safe part of my head. I’m not sure what’s responsible for this impressively clean divide but I’m glad for it. I hope it’s due to my recent practice of spotting what thoughts are and aren’t mine. This way I can continue to keep part of myself alive even when the fog is fully sunk in.

I’m glad Oz found a way to keep me from going home though I worry we won’t be able to talk about much more at this rate. The foreboding that sits in my gut is letting me know this could all, very well, be fruitless.

I don’t want to feel that way and, in all honesty, I’d much rather be excited by the fact I’m currently handcuffed, almost naked, on Oswald’s bed. The opportunities there only seem like good ones but with the storm brewing in me, I know I’ll say a lot of what I don’t really mean.

The door creaks open and I turn my head to face it. The hall seems even darker than the room somehow and Oswald walks in at an agonizingly slow pace.

He shuts the door behind him, just as slow, and presses against it, sending a soft click through the room. It’s as if he’s trying to make as little sound as possible and I wonder if he thinks I’m still unconscious.

As he walks closer to me, I notice that his shirt is unbuttoned, displaying a strip of his body down the middle. The full muscles, forest of hair, and glint of sweat all rouse something in me but that’s immediately placed on the back burner. 

“You’re awake,” Oswald says but not in a concerned or happy manner. Instead, his voice stretches out, almost in a purr.

I would like to question his tone but the control I have over my reaction is practically nonexistent. My arms jerk forward, bringing the handcuffs down on my wrists—metal biting into skin. “You bastard! I’ll kill you!”

Oz keeps the same expression though I can more easily make it out now. It’s as if he’s amused by what he sees in front of him. The lopsided smirk on his face reaches to even farther heights. “Oh? And how will you manage that, Melvin?”

Shit.

He’s being controlled too.

It’s got us both again.

This voice could make us do a lot of damage to each other if we don’t snap out of it. I can’t say that, of course, but I start to clench my muscles, attempting to wrest back ownership in some way or another.

“You—!”

My shout is silenced by Oz’s hand meeting my face in a loud slap. The force of it turns my head.

“Silence,” Oswald hisses before he leers over the top of me. His fingers clamp onto my jaw, holding me in place while he glares into my eyes. I glare right back as he says, “You and Kade want to make me the villain…so I’ll be the villain.”

He releases my face by throwing me to the other side. By the time I turn back to face him, he’s already a few feet away from the bed, pacing with his hands clasped behind his back like some cartoon villain. Though I suspect that’s the idea.

“I wanted to get Kade but, since he won’t come to me on his own, I’ll make him come.” Oz chuckles darkly at his own “plans”. He glances over at me and he smiles. “But, since you’re here and at my mercy…we should at least have a little fun first, right?”

“Fuck you!” I spit and start to struggle against my restraints again. All it’s doing is cutting into my flesh, stinging and bruising.

Oswald cackles (maniacally, if I can add) and rushes toward the bed all at once. He climbs on from the bottom, gripping my knees and spreading them apart with a devious glint in his eyes. “What will poor, sweet Kade think when he finds out you’ve been dirtied by me?”

I can’t help but feel as if Oz and I are being punished—specifically for our disobedience during what was supposed to be our big fight. Because we chose to fuck instead, this presence is forcing us to do so again but in a way she believes we won’t—or can’t—enjoy. It’s as if this setup is designed to ruin the feelings we have for one another or to make us feel sick for ever having those feelings in the first place.

While I can’t speak for Oswald, I can say that I don’t mind the direction things are headed. I hate that this brain fog is making me believe that I’m upset and I hate this presence insinuating what it is but I can’t lie and say I don’t want Oz to fuck me. He can even call me names when he does it—I might like that. It sure as hell beats Kade being in my position instead since I know he, for certain, would not consent to such a thing and for a myriad of reasons. If he were here, he’d be legitimately hurt by Oz.

That, I know, is something Oswald would hate as well. Not only would he not want to be with Kade like that but I can say with a degree of certainty that he’s a good man and he wouldn’t choose to hurt anyone. He could be forced into causing harm and, given the circumstances, I believe he would be but he definitely wouldn’t want to.

He’s probably worried this is something I don’t want. I notice a slight twitch in his eye as he hovers over me and I try to think of a way to signal to him that I’m fine—that I’m completely okay with what’s happening—without alerting the presence. It’s probably impossible but I’m willing to give it a shot.

We lock eyes and my predetermined words finally come out. “I swear…if you touch me…” I let that brain fog dictate whatever it wants me to say but I glance down at our bodies, my budding erection in particular and then I meet Oz’s eyes again. I put forth all of my effort into winking, clearly, to get my point across.

I can’t be sure if he’s gotten the message or not since he’s still very much in the thick of whatever this presence wants of him. “All these promises, Melvin…” Oswald sighs wistfully, “But I’m in control here. You may be used to pushing your way through life without a problem and I’m sure Kade bends to your every whim but not tonight. Tonight, you bend for me.”

“Even if you violate my body…” I seethe, “Kade owns my heart. You can’t destroy that…no matter how much you try.”

I’ve lost the plot a bit—although, as I already suspect, I do think this is all a simple and direct backlash for what Oz and I did during our last confrontation. In that context, all of this makes far more sense.

Oswald smirks and a dark shadow is cast over his eyes. He sinks down to my last remaining article of clothing and he slowly begins to peel it off me. It’s painstaking but I’m forced to grunt and kick my legs all throughout.

When my briefs are finally off and discarded onto the floor, I shut my eyes and twist my face in agony while yanking even harder at the handcuffs. I wish I could stop myself from doing that—at the very least—as I feel blood start to rise to the surface of the cuts. A droplet even starts to run down my arm, toward my elbow.

Oz’s hands on my bare thighs are gripping tightly as I would expect but his right hand suddenly goes soft and he rubs a thumb against my inner thigh. I can’t say for sure but I feel as though he’s letting me know that he’s still in there, somewhere, fighting this too. Or, perhaps, he’s attempting to apologize for what he’s being made to do.

His tongue along my member isn’t what I would have guessed would come next and it shocks me. I don’t think it’s what the presence expected either since the next words out my mouth are, “Get your fingers away from there!”

I almost laugh after I say it since I now know, without a doubt, that Oz is acting on his own. He’s still playing to the scene—probably hoping to fool the voice—but he’s in some form of control. Whether it’ll last is another beast entirely but, for now, he’s okay.

There is a hand that joins Oswald’s actions, now that I’ve said something about it, but it’s not doing more than resting below my shaft, cradling the soft flesh beneath. He takes me into his mouth and I have nothing to say—not even the brain fog manifests a single thought.

It’s a blissful moment of actual peace but, naturally, it doesn’t last for long.

I’m made to kick my legs and squirm—quite the dangerous gambit considering how much of me is currently compromised. Not only could Oswald bite down on my dick (though I know he wouldn’t) but he could easily crush my balls in his hand too.

Thankfully, Oz is able to hold me down with his other hand. He firmly grabs my hip and travels down, pinning my thigh to the bed while leaning part of the way on my opposite thigh with his body. It keeps me from kicking but also feels incredible and maddening.

I can’t move an inch and Oz won’t stop pleasuring me for anything. He’s barely given himself time to breathe and I almost feel exhausted for him. His tongue presses firmly against my tip each time his head rises, steadily bringing me closer and closer to release.

Again, there is little commotion in my mind. I almost think that I’ve been left alone as I cry out in ecstasy and spill over into Oz’s mouth.

I take deep, ragged breaths and my body remains still even when Oswald gets off of me. I feel the bed shift as he moves but I don’t realize he’s coming my way until he’s face to face with me. He doesn’t say a word but, instead, captures me in a kiss.

My lips part immediately and warm, salty mess seeps in. Oswald pushes it around with his tongue and I’m forced to swallow my own seed. Logically, it’s quite gross but I don’t find myself disgusted in the moment.

Oswald swipes his tongue over mine and then pulls back, licking against my bottom lip before asking, “Like how you taste?”

“You’re fucking sick,” I groan through my cracked voice.

He chuckles and licks across my cheek, forcing me to turn my head in disgust. I really had hoped the fog would stay gone but I suppose that was a little too optimistic on my part.

“If you think that’s sick, you’re more vanilla than I thought.” Oz shuffles back, returning his hands to my legs. This time he grips underneath my thighs and pushes them up, forcing my knees to my chest.

“Stop it,” I growl with clenched teeth. My hands ball into fists and I try, once more, to free myself by yanking against the cuffs. There are open wounds on my wrists now and the motion pulls a genuine grunt of pain out of me.

Oswald continues on, taking no notice of me or my faked objections. He runs his hands up the back sides of my thighs until he’s under my knees, grazing against the sensitive skin and making me shiver and twitch. My blood is already returning down south and my muscles are starting to clench in anticipation.

“I’ll stop when you scream my name in the throes in passion—when you forsake your pure love with Kade in favor of this low, filthy fucking that you think is beneath you.” Oz grips my knees with a bruising force. “Until I’ve fully corrupted you, I won’t stop.”

I’m already corrupted if that’s the criteria but, as I already know, I can’t say that. I do think it though and I also wonder about this intrusive observer and their view on this “type” of sex. Really, Oz hasn’t done anything I would consider outrageous.

Some things certain people wouldn’t be comfortable with, sure, but nothing that’s all that extreme.

Maybe I would have thought different months ago if I had the actions described to me and was asked my honest opinion. But those thoughts wouldn’t have necessarily been mine either.

I used to view the obscure memories with Gladis as impure and dirty and not on account of her being a predator. It was about the way she and I had sex so I’m more certain now than ever that those thoughts were just this presence’s views invading my head. They seem to look at anything outside of soft and gentle lovemaking as shameful.

But who’s ashamed?

I am no longer shackled to those beliefs and I reject them, even as I’m forced to scream out at Oz and contradict my real feelings. He rams into me and I respond in a string of curses and insults but none of it is real.

[lokisninerealms]

Fanfic Recommendations - Loki Edition

Note: These are all the fanfics of Loki Laufeyson/Odison/Friggason/Whatever son you want him to be. I highly recommend reading these as I will also leave my personal review. PLEASE READ THE WRITERS BOUNDARIES/WARNINGS AS YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION IS AT YOUR OWN RISK. These are all series or one shots!

Updated frequently as of July 22nd, 2022

One More Week - @sarahscribbles / Smut, 18+ Content

(one shot) the smut in this is absolute perfection. i love how descriptive she is in her writing and how she really brings dom!loki to life while in this intimate moment.

New Jewelry - @stuckylaufeyson / Smut, 18+ Content

(one shot) i live and breathe for smut & y’all this is SMUT. this has literally been stuck in my head and i find myself going back to re-read it.

Hear Me Now - @lokisprettygirl / 18+ Content

(ongoing series) oh my god y’all, i absolutely love how jotun!loki is the main center in this series. bluey is so adorable and i can’t get enough of him. he has my whole heart and i’m excited for the upcoming updates.

Ease Yourself - @yellowwritingpages / Smut, 18+ Content

(one shot) another smutty fic that i always find myself going back to. the intimate details and loki being so caring. absolute perfection.

Shadows of the Past - @vbecker10 / Fluff, Angst, Smut might be added later on so read warnings

(on going) i am completely addicted and obsessed with this series. the angst, the fluff, oh my god. i could go on and on but the writing is outstanding with the different pov’s. loki is very adorable in this series and i would whole heartedly give him the world.

Secrets - @michelleleewise / Fluff, Smut might be added on later, again read warnings

(ongoing series) i love this series a lot, like a lot. there aren’t many loki x plus-size reader fics out there but this series is amazing at really bringing the characters and story to life.

The Prince and the God - @michelleleewise / Smut might be added later, read warnings!

(ongoing series) - LORDDDD when i tell y’all this series is a masterpiece. slow burn fics are my favorite thing in the world and i would give my whole heart for the absolute art of work that is this series. friends to lovers will be the absolute death of me.

Little Maid - @yellowwritingpages / 18+ Content, HEAVY filthy smut

(ongoing series) this series has me in a literal chokehold. i live for dark!loki fics. the absolute filth in this series is a YES. rockie’s writing is so amazing and the way she writes smut is outstanding.

Even In Hades I Am With You - @cherienymphe / 18+ Content

(one shot) i love mythology and this twist with dark!loki is ✨ chef’s kiss ✨ i absolutely love this blog and all of their content, their loki fics are top tier.

I Will Love Her From The Grave - @wheredafandomat / 18+ Content, Contains Smut

(one shot) woah, when i tell y’all that i cried. the author does an amazing job of really telling the emotions of her characters especially loki. this fic sent me through a whirlwind of emotions but i loved every second of it.

The Glass Slipper - @lokiprompts / FLUFF OVERLOAD

(one shot) THE FLUFF. honestly the fluffiest loki fic i have ever read. morgan and lokes are so adorable 🥺 i love it so much, the author is outstanding.

Only Us - @tricksterlokilaufeyson / fluff, fluff, just loki in love

(one shot) when i tell you i was crying. loki had me in a puddle of tears when he asked “what if i hurt you?” i love how the author was able to bring so much emotion and vulnerability between loki & the reader. i’m in my loki feels.

A Dutiful Disaster - @cake-writes / Smut, 18+ Content

(ongoing series) slow burn and smut match made in heaven. one of the first loki series i ever read, i still go back to reread it when i need inspiration for my own works. also arranged marriage trope with moody!loki, yes i’m here for that.

Dove - @rosaline-black / Fluff

(one shot) the cutest fic i have ever read. i had to reread it a couple times bc i couldn’t get over how cute and unique this story is. the female lead is a greenhouse witch and loki is his usual, flirty, adorable self. in love.

Transgressions - @lokisgoodgirl / Smut, 18+ Content

(ongoing series?) ok there’s two parts to this fic and i’m obsessed with it. the smut is absolutely EVERYTHING. jealous loki? yes. possessive loki? yes. dom loki? YES. in part 2, he submits to her and i was screaming.

Dr. Laufeyson - @wheredafandomat / Smut, 18+ Content

(ongoing series) loki or as i should call him dr. laufeyson is so hot in this like yes be my sex therapist. honestly i feel what y/n is going through but their chemistry is so good. i’m addicted to see what happens next each chapter.

Creature Comforts - @mochie85 / Fluff

(ongoing series) the writing in this is is absolutely phenomenal. loki is a sneaky and flirty little bastard which i live for. THE CLIFFHANGER had me on the edge on my seat. i’m practically on my toes for the next chapter.

Bred by a Jotun - @lokisprettygirl / Smut

(one shot) this is literally everything. i’m a whore for jotun loki but the smut in this is perfection. the ending had me screaming and i love how the author always writes jotun loki (our beloved bluey) so well.

Heavy Weighs the Crown - @munsons-maiden / Smut

(one shot) every single detail is written so beautifully, the smut is perfection and i couldn’t get enough of it. i was left feeling hot and bothered at the end, wanting and craving more. a true masterpiece delivered well.

[lieutenantfloyd]

dancing in the dark, alight by fire : J.Seresin

Requested?: This started out as a request but by the end I realized that I’d deviated so far from the original plot that it doesn’t really fit the request anymore anymore. 

Warnings: Angst, enemies to (potential) lovers, language, brief mentions of 18+ desires.

Words: 1.3k

Summary: Jake and reader went to flight school and Top Gun together. While there, they developed a bitter rivalry that threatened to end their careers. Soon after they both were shipped off to other sides of the world. Now years down the line, they both get sent to North Island for a top-secret mission. Reunited for the first time since first leaving Top Gun, readers finally sees her chance to one-up Jake once and for all. What happens when that chance ends up bringing feelings to the surface that could threaten everything?

note: I will fully admit I got carried away with this. There’s something about Jake that just makes me want to write something dramatic, moody, and a tad bit poetic. 

Read on AO3

It wasn't until they were accepted into Top Gun that their rivalry began. They had been almost entirely separated during their time at flight school and only knew each other from brief passes in the hallway or the occasional mention of the other person's name from fellow pilots. Yet all it took was a split-second moment, a smile and a wink, during an otherwise normal day in the life of a naval aviator to start their years-long rivalry.

What started as light teasing from across the room became screaming matches and disregarded orders both in the air and not. It all came to a head one night when they were both called into the Generals' office. It was upon being threatened with dishonorable discharge to finally snap them out of it. A petty rivalry not worth destroying all possible career prospects.

The moment the door closed, them on one side and the general on the other, there was a silent agreement for each to keep their distance.

6 weeks later they finished first and second at Top Gun and were promptly shipped off to where their skills were needed most. Paths never quite crossing again.

Entering the bar, she ignored the sly glances and chatter. Her reputation had always proceeded her. She knew that in the eyes of all but one she was everything. Strong, capable, drop-dead gorgeous. A textbook example of a leader and all but guaranteed greatness. Striding over to the bar, she made quick conversation with Penny before accepting a free beer from one of the other patrons. Penny's slid the beer across the bar before turning her eyes over her shoulder. The aviator buried a frown in her beer, no longer feeling his eyes on her.

"He's been expecting you." Those four words knocked the wind from her lungs.

Forcing a smile onto her face, she thank Penny and with a shaky breath, headed toward the table.

Leaning against the wooden pillar it took him a moment to stop pretending he didn't notice her. She took that time to note that the only thing that had changed since their last meeting was that his blonde hair was a shade or two darker. He was still in that khaki uniform, he still radiated confidence, and he was still stupidly, unfairly, painfully handsome.

His shoulders twitched signaling he was about to move and she froze. Meeting her gaze he smiled slightly.  why didn't he make some snarky remark? "Looks like someone's happy to see me." He teased before putting his attention back to setting up the game.

"Mhm." She said, taking a sip from the bottle before placing it on the edge of the pool table. "Mind if I play?" "Be my guest." He broke before passing the cue over to her. Passing from her left to her right, he leaned in slightly, breathing the words "Don't hurt yourself, sugar" into her ear with a smirk audible in his voice. Fighting a shudder she moved to make her play. Without hesitation, she shot the solid green six ball into the pocket closest to him. The smile fell from his face and rose on her own. Moving to take another shot, she couldn't help but notice the rare silence coming from him. Before she could think too much about it, The others started arriving. They both mingled with and sized up their new crew just like old times. The tension never quite breaking between the two of them.

Pool. Darts. Flip cup. Limbo. Every single game, she won. She even won a foot race. Wearing wedges. In sand.

By now they'd gathered a crowd. To outside eyes, she was an enigma. Cool, calm, calculated. This only angered Jake more. Sending a wine stain red to the top of his cheeks as his hand raised to his perfectly gelled hair, now visibly tousled.

What angered him most wasn't the fact that he was losing. He could make peace with that. It was how she was practically swimming laps through his fury. Ku was the glint in her eyes as she played to the crowd at his expense. It was the way she was getting off on his rampant vexation.

Oh. Oh.

He watched as she continued to parade around in victory and could no longer ignore the tinder lighting beneath his ribs.

His mind went blank as he practically dragged her away from the crowd, only dropping her arm when he saw the flash of fear in her eyes. He froze. Weighing his options before gesturing roughly towards the door, his eyes pleading with her to follow. She did.

He made his way outside and around the side of the bar. Her head swam as she walked. Not with booze, but with the gravity of the situation.

She'd sworn to never tell a soul how she's spent virtually every moment of free time she had since that first day at Top Gun preparing for those moments back in the bar. Mastering every activity she could think of, just in case she run into him again.

She swore to never admit that this fact, along with her incessant need to be better than Jake "Hangman" Seresin, had directly contributed to her now being widely considered not only the top of her field but the best both Top Gun and the Navy had ever seen.

Most of all she swore to never, ever let anyone find out how her heart skipped a beat every time he shot her that cocky smile of his. How she'd thought about him every moment of every day for years. Most notably on those on those long, lonely nights she'd spent halfway across the world playing the All-American heroine. How she wanted no, needed him in the most primal way. How she wanted him to rip her apart and how she couldn't care less if he put her back together again.

-

He leaned back against the warm brick wall, head pounding along with the waves crashing in the near distance. She stared at him half curious half expectant. Expecting what exactly?

The sound of gravel under his foot a prayer to whatever was out there to help him reckon with how achingly gorgeous she was. Gorgeous not just in body, but in mind and soul as well.

Her eyes fell on his and then he knew. God he knew. The sparks he felt inside him ignited, throwing light into the space around them and allowing his lips to find hers. The world fell silent as hands moved seamlessly between skin, clothes, hair.

She pushed him harder against the wall. The bricks leaving little grey lines in his formerly pristine uniform. In his bones, he knew that calling this moment simply a kiss was the greatest injustice in the world. It was ego death and venom with itself as its antidote. It was a peace treaty with their names signed in saliva. It was love, more monumental than either had known or would ever know again if either one pulled away right now.

His tongue passed her lips as his ears started to ring. Alarm bells compounded with the words scratching and clawing at the back of his mind. This is wrong. maybe it is. She hates you. but she's kissing back. Why won't you just let her go? I did, once. Never again.

Seconds, maybe hours later he felt her start to pull back. She untwined herself from him, albeit reluctantly. His eyes stayed closed, trying his damndest to resist reality. "Jake," she said, barely a whisper. Her hands found his hair again, raking through it only once. "Jake," she repeated. "Look at me.". He finally relented, eyes opening as her hand fell to his jaw. The fire had died down now, still burning, but scared.  The shine of the moon illuminated her. Giving her a glow akin to the holy being he knew she had to be. She was smiling. Why was she smiling?.

Her hand trailed his face, his neck, his shoulder, and down his arm. Smile never fading. Silently her hands guided his arms around her waist and her head found his chest. He swallowed. Trying to extinguish the reignited flame within him.

"I know what your thinking Jake. I thought that too. But that's not how you kiss someone you hate."

And just like that, fire flooded the skies and the world was ablaze.

[shadowisles-writes]

Bliss [Gwynriel]

 A/N: Well, here it is, my first fic for this fandom! If you follow my hockey blog, this is a rewrite of a fic that was already posted there and you already know filth is my brand. If you’re new, welcome to one of my favorite smut pieces I’ve written so far. This just screamed Gwyn x Azriel when I looked at it again, so I absolutely had to rewrite it for them. Again, everything under the cut is smut so if you’re under 18 please don’t interact. It also involves a D/s relationship so read at your own risk.

Word count: 5514

.

Gwyn had long ago gotten used to sleeping in the House rather than the dormitories of the library. Azriel had coaxed her out with promises of cuddles and kisses, and he had lived up to his word.

On some nights, however, his missions kept him away and Gwyn got cold alone in the bed.

The House always provided her with two extra blankets to replace the Shadowsinger’s warmth, but it would never match the way he wrapped his body around hers, caging her in his arms and wings when he spooned her until she fell asleep. Gwyn was less than excited about having to spend two nights by herself this week.

It was one of the two things that made her moody that night as she nuzzled her face in her pillow, Azriel’s chest pressed to her back. The second one was that he had been edging her for three days and Gwyn had never felt more sexually frustrated in her life.

“It’s only for two days love,” Azriel rasped, his fingers running up and down her arm to try to lift her mood.

It was a simple touch, but it was enough to ignite a fire inside of her. Gwyn tried her best to keep still, no matter how much she wanted to roll her hips back to grind against him, she knew he’d never allow it.

Gwyn had tried everything she could think of through the day. She was good for him, she begged and begged for him to give in, but all she got were more edges that made her so desperate she ended up crying against his chest.

After that, she had gone to the bathroom, tempted to take care of it herself, but Azriel had caught her and hadn’t let her out of his sight since.

Gwyn had gone to bed in a comfortable set of undergarments, cotton ones Azriel had laid out for her instead of the lacy scraps of fabric she usually liked to put on to drive him crazy. The thought of him having no plans to touch her that night had kept her quiet and moody for the entire day, and she prayed that he didn’t plan on asking her not to pleasure herself for the next two days when he was away.

The tension in her body didn’t last long under Azriel’s touch. His fingers followed the same pattern up and down her arm, he didn’t move apart from that, and she eventually had to relax against his chest. As irritated as Gwyn had been, she couldn’t help but feel good in the warmth and safety of his arms.

The Shadowsinger waited until her breathing evened and she was truly relaxed to let his hands begin to wander.

“Stay still,” he whispered and pressed a sweet kiss to the back of his mate’s head.

His fingers danced along her skin, going from her arm to her stomach, tracing lines and circles over her warm skin under the covers. Azriel’s lips found her neck and she shivered, tensing up to stop herself from moving.

It didn’t take more than soft brushes of his lips over Gwyn’s skin to drive her breathing to quicken.

He had known how to touch her for a long time, but they were now exploring something new together, and it was how responsive she could become to the smallest things if he edged her for long enough.

Azriel dragged the tips of his fingers down her stomach achingly slow. The darkness of the room didn’t allow Gwyn to see his shadows, but she could feel their almost imperceptible touch licking the skin of her arm, her thigh and occasionally stroking her cheek.

A whimper escaped her lips when Azriel circled her belly button once, twice before tracing along the waistband of her undergarments.

Gwyn could feel his lips curve against her neck, just a second before his tongue came to lick over a sensitive spot that turned her whimper into a whine.

Every passing second made it harder for her to stay still. Gwyn still wanted to roll her hips, rub her legs together for some friction, but she didn’t want to face the punishment that would come if she did so.

Meanwhile, Azriel was fully enjoying himself, teasing and testing how far he’d had to go to get a physical reaction out of her.

Gwyn kept it together until he reached her clothed chest and traced over her breasts. She knew he could feel her nipples pearling through the fabric, hard and sensitive for him to play with.

“Already sweetheart?” He chuckled quietly, teasing one of them with the pad of his thumb to earn a moan out of her.

“It’s been three days,” Gwyn whined, trying her hardest not to arch her back to press herself closer to him.

“You know it’ll be worth it,” Azriel reached for the strap that covered her shoulder and dragged it down to expose one of her breasts. “That’s why you’re always so obedient, mmh?”

“Yes,” her next breath got caught in her throat as he pinched her nipples between two of his fingers. “You always make me feel so good,” she moaned as he rolled it gently.

“Good girl,” he murmured against her neck, his fingers alternating between both nipples to pull more sweet noises out of her.

With his praise and touch, Gwyn could already feel herself soaking through the fabric between her legs. She knew he could smell it, just as she was aware of his arousal through the scent that intensified with ever passing second.

Azriel allowed her to move to remove the fabric that had been covering her chest. With it somewhere on the floor, he pulled her back against his bare chest while his hands went back to exploring. His touches were firmer, no longer brushes from the tips of his fingers but caresses of his entire hand and pinches that hurt Gwyn as much as they pleased her.

Azriel bit, sucked and licked the soft skin of her neck until even in the darkness of the room he was sure a trail of purple marks was left blossoming on her skin. For a moment, he considered rolling her onto her back to litter the rest of her body with matching possessive bites, but he had plans for the night. He had one goal in mind, and nothing would stop him until he reached it.

“Since your nipples got hard so fast,” the Shadowsinger whispered against her ear, sending a shiver through her while he retracted his hand to bring it down to her ass. “I’m curious to find out how wet you already are,”

“Az, please,” Gwyn moaned and shuffled her hips when she felt his hand slip down closer to her core.

“Look at you,” he cooed and used two of his fingers to lightly rub her pussy over the fabric. “You’re already soaked and I’m just getting started.”

“Always wet for you,” she sighed in relief, her thighs clenching hard from the pleasure.

Azriel hummed as he left a warm, wet kiss on her neck, licking over the spot to make her shiver. “Are you my good girl?”

“Yes,” Gwyn gasped loudly when he bit her.

“Say it.” His voice was near a growl, his hand stilling as he awaited her answer. She knew better than to give him a simple yes.

“I’m your good girl,” she knew she pleased him with the words when she hear his satisfied little huff.

“I want you to count. Up to ten and then back down, alright sweetheart?” Azriel’s fingers hovered right over the soaked spot of her undergarments, waiting for her to hum her assent.

It came out as more of a whimper, but he always loved it when she sounded desperate.

“One… two… three…” Gwyn counted he now firm rubs as he went, uttering the right number every time until she couldn’t help but adjust her body.

Azriel clicked his tongue and stopped. “I said stay still. Start again.”

And so Gwyn did, counting all the way up to ten without failing this time. The rubs were firm and perfect, they were enough to create a build up without risking to throw her over the edge too fast.

As soon as she reached ten, Azriel made her count back down. It was getting harder and harder for her to focus, so by five her hips shifted again.

Azriel let out a warning growl, disapprovingly tugging her earlobe between his teeth. “Start again.”

“One… two…” she resumed, whining when he pulled his hand away just a second later.

“No sweetheart, you’re counting down this time,” he reminded her. “Let’s start over one more time,”

“Ten… nine… eight…” Gwyn followed his order, but the sensation was too much and her hips moved uncontrollably. There was no way she could have stopped it, her muscles trembled as her entire body begged for more.

“So that’s all it takes, uh?” Azriel chuckled as he caressed her ass, following her curves all the way up until his hand flattened over her stomach. “You’re so needy you can’t even make it to thirty rubs before you’re desperate to cum.”

“Please Az,” Gwyn willed her body to remain still, but her chest moved irregularly with her breathing. “Please,”

“In a minute,” he promised, hooking his thumb in the waistband of the only piece of fabric still covering her. “Need to get rid of these first,” he dragged them down her thighs, her legs shifting to help him remove them entirely.

With Gwyn’s body fully uncovered, Azriel didn’t hesitate to pull her back flush against him. Her eyelids fluttered and she whimpered quietly while his hips rolled, pressing his hard cock against her ass through the fabric of his underwear.

“You want to cum, sweetheart?” He purposely pushed his ass against her harder to make her moan as she answered.

“Yes, please Az,” her eyes watered at the thought of having him inside of her, glossed over in a way that indicated she was exactly in the state Azriel wanted her. Her pussy clenching around nothing, throbbing with need. “I need it so bad, please.”

“Too bad I’m not done edging you just yet.” He made her heart deflate with that sentence, and Gwyn whined desperately.

“Please,” she repeated, breathless. She didn’t know how she could wait any longer when every cell in her body ached for release.

“Oh sweetheart,” Azriel kissed her shoulder and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb on her skin. “I just love how beautiful you look when you’re like that. You want to be good, don’t you?”

He tapped her thigh to prompt her to lift it and gently grabbed her waist to adjust her position until her leg was pulled back over him.

“Yes, I always want to be good,” Gwyn leaned back against his body, spread open to grant him access. Her muscles felt weak, but he kept her secure and stroked her leg slowly. “Please Az, I want to be your good girl,” she reached for his hand and covered it with her.

Azriel turned his palm to lace his fingers through hers, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it. “Just a little more, I know you can take it sweetheart,” he dragged the tips of his fingers along her side, over her hip ad down over her throbbing pussy.

Gwyn gasped at the brush, and her eyes rolled back the second he slid two fingers between her folds. Her thighs trembled immediately, but she didn’t get scolded when she moved her hips this time.

It was too much for her not to move, and Azriel knew it. He whispered sweet praises in her ear as he continued, fingers coated in her wetness and gently teasing her clit without ever getting her close to being fully satisfied.

“Open your mouth,” he ordered as he brought his hand back up and slid his fingers between her lips.

Gwyn sucked eagerly, humming around his fingers and letting her eyes fall shut as she used his tongue to clean them thoroughly. “You love that sweetheart, uh? I know sucking my fingers always turns you on, but wouldn’t it be so much better if you were sucking on my cock?”

With a little push, his fingers reached the back of her throat and made her gag lightly while she choked on a moan from his words. He retrieved them slowly, bringing them back down to her pussy and circling her clit slowly while she licked her lips.

“Az, please,” Gwyn begged for more, so close to the edge and yet needing an extra push to get there.

“Tell me what you want.” He demanded.

“Your fingers please,” she hoped he would give in as he felt him circle her entrance, but the shake of his chest with a quiet chuckle against her back told her he wouldn’t.

“Here,” his tone was teasing as he shoved them back into her mouth, making her cough out and choke a little. “Suck.” He ordered the second she breathed right again.

Gwyn obeyed diligently. It wasn’t what she had meant, but she would take anything he was willing to give her. She sucked and licked, moaning around his fingers while his lips went back to her neck. His hips picked up their movements too, grinding his cock against her ass.

Azriel was right, she would have much rather sucked on his cock than his fingers. It was the only thing on her mind as her tongue swirled over his fingers; there would have been nothing more rewarding than doing this on the tip of his cock to hear him groan in pleasure.

The feeling of him hard and pressed against her ass was too much and not enough, Gwyn just wanted to please him, she would do anything for him to be satisfied, and maybe then he’d let her cum too.

Their bodies settled into a rhythm as they rocked together for a few moments, quiet, low growls coming from Azriel when she pushed her ass against him harder.

“Still now,” he eventually ordered, getting her to stop while he dragged his fingers out of her mouth. “You wan to cum baby?”

“Yes, yes please,” Gwyn’s chest heaved a little faster at the thought. “I’ll be so good Az,”

“Let’s test that.” He pulled away just enough to kick his underwear off.

“Oh, please, please Az,” she whimpered when he felt him bare, pressing at her entrance.

“Shh, you’ve been doing so good sweetheart,” Azriel whispered and kissed the sensitive spot under her ear. “I just have one more rule for tonight.” He ran his hand over her stomach in slow circles until she took a deep breath in and he could feel she was calm. “I want you to cum from nothing but my cock inside you.”

“I- you know I can’t,” Gwyn whined quietly as he pressed forward, the tip of his cock sliding in.

Any hope of forming words disappeared from her mind when she felt him hit her most sensitive spots. He moved slowly, letting her adjust to his impressive lengths inch by inch until his hips were pressed against her ass.

“I don’t know that,” he didn’t pull back, rocking gently against her instead to hit the deepest parts of her. “I just think we haven’t tried hard enough.”

Gwyn couldn’t even form words. She squirmed, whimpered his name and tried to complain again, but Azriel withdrew fully and stopped her before she could.

“Enough.” There was a dark edge to his voice. His fingers dug into her skin as he gripped her hips tighter, a quiet, pained noise falling from her lips. “That’s the only way I’m letting you cum tonight. If you don’t, then you’re not getting anything when I’m gone either. Are we clear?”

Gwyn’s entire body tingled at his tone, nothing like the sweet voice he had used to encourage her through so many edges. He wasn’t teasing anymore, he wanted this, and he was going to get it.

“Yes Az,” she submitted through a whisper.

“Be a good girl.”

His cock sank back into her slowly, stretching her walls until his hips met her ass once more. He knew from Gwyn’s moans and whimpers that he was hitting all the right spots, and he groaned in satisfaction when he felt her clench around his cock.

Azriel had been planning this for a long time. He needed her to be desperate, there had to be some sort of stake and it had to be the perfect position for her to feel as good as possible.

Spooning was just right. Gwyn had no control over his movements, they both loved the intimacy, and the angle his cock was thrusting into her at was perfect enough for stars to dance across her vision.

The pace was slow, but her breaths were heavy. Gwyn was used to being in that position for soft morning fucks, but this was nothing like that. There was a burning passion between their bodies, an eagerness to please the other so intense that it made her dizzy.

She had never been able to cum without some stimulation on her clit, but she was dying to do the best she could for Azriel. She had always been his, doing anything he’d ask for because he respected each of her limits and always gave her the most mind blowing orgasms.

Gwyn had no doubt that this one would be too if she actually reached it.

Now, with Azriel’s hot breaths fanning over her neck, his large palm splayed across her stomach and his cock sliding easily into her pussy, she couldn’t help but moan and arch her back to press her ass against him.

Eager groans reached her ears and made her walls clench hard. Every noise that left his lips spurred her on. Gwyn loved the way he touched her and how much he enjoyed it too. Just the thought of his cock throbbing, pulsing as he released inside of her sent her head spinning with pleasure.

“Come on,” Azriel whispered, his voice raspy and deeper than she had ever heard it. “Be a good girl for me,” he buried himself deep inside of her and remained there, rolling his hips again and again while remaining as close as possible.

Gwyn could only moan in response, her wetness dripping over him and onto the best, her thighs trembling and clit absolutely throbbing from the neglect. She couldn’t even squeeze her legs closed, couldn’t rut against the mattress, and Azriel was sure to catch her hand before she could reach down to play with it.

She could feel herself close to the edge, she could only need a couple of rubs to reach her high, but Azriel would never give in.

Her moans were growing more desperate by the second, and hadn’t she been trapped against Azriel’s body she would be thrashing around on the bed.

“Isn’t this exciting sweetheart?” He chuckled, drawing back agonisingly slow all the way out and sinking back into her heat with a powerful thrust. “I’m already throbbing, and we still don’t know if you’re going to cum or if you’re going to be a desperate, begging mess for the next two days.”

Azriel groaned as she tightened around him, biting her earlobe lightly as his hand crawled up to her neck. He didn’t apply any pressure, but just the weight of it there made Gwyn’s eyes roll back while her next words died on her tongue.

She whined, gasping for air when he gave her a hard thrust.

“I don’t want to tease you too much,” Azriel drawled as if the torturously slow pace he shifted his hips at didn’t require all of his self control. “But gods, you’d look so pretty dripping and needy like that, begging me to let you touch yourself, tears on your cheeks when I deny you again, and again.”

Gwyn could feel the warmth building in her lower stomach. “Please,” she managed to bed with a moan, but she only earned another stronger thrust and a breathy laugh.

Her body was on fire, sweat gathering on her forehead and between their bodies, but she could feel him twitching inside of her. The fantasy he was describing became closer to becoming a reality with each of his thrusts.

The thought of being denied again, of feeling empty and desperate, made tears pool in Gwyn’s eyes. One rolled down her temple, falling onto her pillow while her pussy throbbed.

She was right there, right at the edge. She just needed a little more.

“Come on,” Azriel breathed out, grunting as he moved a little bit faster, punctuating each of his thrusts with a rock of his hips against your ass. “Cum.” He punctuated the order with a loud groan. “Give it to me love,” his voice was assertive, but it was laced with a note of desperation.

He wanted this as much as she did.

All of the edging, the perfect angle of his thrusts, the sound of his moans and his voice in her ears all added up with her desire to please him. Gwyn always obeyed, and tonight was no exception as her pussy tightened, squeezing his cock so hard he growled as she came.

Gwyn was barely aware of the sounds falling from her lips, her hand gripping his forearm tight as he muttered curses and praises, fucking her through it.

The feeling was intense, dragging on forever. It was pure pleasure coursing through her veins until her muscles relaxed and she sank deeper into the mattress. Azriel knew Gwyn’s overstimulated whimpers all too well, so he slowed down to give her a break and he eventually stilled, kissing her neck and caressing her skin softly to soothe her.

“You did so well sweetheart,” Azriel eased out of her and let her fall onto her back on the mattress. “So fucking good for me,” he crawled on top of her to kiss her, wings proudly spread out behind him. “Can’t believe you came so hard. See, I knew you had it in you,”

He was beaming above her, his smile barely visible in the darkness, but Gwyn felt a dopey smile spread on her own face in response. The satisfaction of her orgasm and the fact that she pleased him still had endorphins rushing through her head.

“Was so good,” she managed to mutter against his lips when he kissed her again, sighing into his mouth before he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth.

“You’ve been such a good girl,” Azriel praised her, resting his weight on his forearms by her head with his still hard cock leaking over her stomach. “I think that deserves a special reward,”

“Yeah?” Gwyn’s eyes shone brighter at the words, and she sounded so eager that he let out a little laugh.

She knew that if the small lamp by the bed had been on she would have been able to see his shadows dancing around the room.

“Yeah love,” Azriel rolled off her and sat, resting his back against the headboard. “Come here and suck my cock,” he motioned for her to move.

Gwyn was on her knees between his spread legs almost instantly, her mouth already watering. Azriel smiled, please with her reaction.

He reached out to turn a light on so that he could see her better and watched as she waited, hands folded in her lap.

“You want it sweetheart?” He grasped her chin between two fingers and tilted her head up.

“Please Az,” Gwyn begged, trying to nod despite his hold.

It earned her a smile and a nod. All of the approval she had gotten through the night was only making her more eager, and she didn’t hesitate to open her mouth when he prompted her to do so.

His shadows, now visible, were swirling over his shoulders, some of them lower behind his back reaching for her and caressing the top of her thighs.

Gwyn watched the spit gather on his lips and put her tongue out to receive it a second later. She moaned, feeling a few drops running down her chin while she swallowed the rest eagerly.

“That’s my girl,” Azriel released her face and leaned back more comfortably, his wings rustling. “Go on then,” he tilted his chin and watched her bend over to take him in her mouth.

Gwyn held eye contact when she wrapped her lips around his tip, a hand at his base to guide his cock across her tongue. The taste of him and her own cum combined with the intensity in his eyes was enough to make her moan. Gwyn followed by sinking her mouth on him, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, but she kept them open and relaxed her throat until her lips were wrapped as low as she could go.

“Fuck yes, you’re so fucking perfect.” Azriel bit his lip through a growl, his hand going to the back of her head to play with her hair.

She thought he would hold her down for a few seconds longer as he often did, but she didn’t feel him push. He only rested his hand there to feel her rhythm, the weight of it encouraging her movements.

Azriel didn’t just want to fuck her mouth. This was a reward, he wanted to feel Gwyn work her mouth on him and fill her with his cum because he knew how much she loved it.

Gwyn hummed and moaned around his cock as she bobbed her head, barely working on half of his length with her mouth and taking care of the rest with her hand. Her eyes fell shut and she focused on keeping her movements steady.

She didn’t need to see Azriel to know that she was doing well. Purrs rose from his chest, occasionally turning into quiet moans every few second to spur her on.

Azriel was always loud when he was inside of her, but it was different when she took him in her mouth. He was more relaxed, more prone to whispering praise without even thinking about his words.

There was just something special about how much Gwyn loved it, the effort she put into it and the heavenly feeling he got from the motions her tongue traced on his tip.

“Gods you look fucking amazing like this,” Azriel moaned, pants falling from his lips as he felt himself get closer to the edge.

Everything about this night was quickly becoming too much. He was desperate to be inside of her for every second he had teased her, and had gotten so close he could taste it when he was fucking her.

Gwyn wouldn’t need to work her magic very long for him to get there again. Her tongue pressed against his tip, drops of precum mixing with her own spit as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

Azriel’s teeth sank into his bottom lip, remembering every second of her own climax just minutes ago. It was enough to make his cock twitch between her lips.

Gwyn doubled her efforts, spits running down her chin and his length as she sucked bobbing her head relentlessly until his grip tightened on her hair to take control of her pace. She breathed through her nose, relaxing her aching jaw as she let him push her down until she was gagging on him.

He growled, letting her come back up for a second before pushing her right back down. She struggled to stay down, hands on his muscled thighs to keep herself steady, but even with tears in her eyes she went willingly when his hand pushed her to take him just a little bit deeper.

Azriel’s wings spread to their entire width, his abs clenching as his hand fell from her head to let her take over again. Gwyn knew how close he was from the groans consistently escaping him with every breath.

She focused all of her attention on his tip, both of her hands working on the rest of his twitching length. His muscles tightened through every wave of pleasure, but it was only when his hazel eyes met hers that he let himself go.

His roar shook the House, cock pulsing and releasing ribbons of cum down her throat. Gwyn moaned her approval, her eyes never leaving his as she swallowed every drop. She licked his tip slowly to make sure none would fall from her mouth, and Azriel’s head fell back against the headboard just as his wings dropped.

His chest rose and fell rapidly, but Gwyn kept her in his mouth until she felt him begin to soften. Her hands caressed his thighs and she carefully placed one last kiss on his tip before kissing the v of his abs then his belly button and every inch of skin she encountered on her way up to his chest.

Azriel stopped her there, cupping her cheek with one hand so that she would face him.

“Such a good girl for me,” he breathed out before he kissed her.

Gwyn keened from the praise, parting her lips to let his tongue caress hers softly. Azriel’s arms wrapped around her body, pulling her in closer while he slid down on the bed with her on top of him.

She pulled back from his lips to rest her head in the crook of his neck, catching her breath and relaxing while he traced lines up and down her spine. They would both need to get cleaned up in a few moments, but for now Gwyn only wanted to bask in the afterglow with him.

Neither of them moved until their heartbeats had settled. Gwyn lifted her head and let his lips brush his jaw for a second. Her forearms came to rest on Azriel’s chest so that she could gaze at him more comfortably, and she was met with a soft smile.

“I love you,” she breathed out, rubbing the tip of her nose against his.

“I love you so much,” Azriel gently held her waist and rolled them over so that they would both be on their sides, his wing covering her.

He smiled against her lips when she leaned in for a kiss. “Why don’t we go clean up?” he suggested as he pulled away. “Then we can cuddle and go to sleep,”

“Will you wake me up before you leave tomorrow?” Gwyn pouted, not ready to let go of him just yet.

“Of course love,” his scarred knuckles ran over her temple before he slid his fingers into her hair to massage her scalp.

Azriel never rushed the aftercare. He followed her lead, giving her anything she might need. If Gwyn wanted to stall so that she wouldn’t have to get up just yet, then he’d keep her in bed for a little bit longer. “I’ll be back before you even know it.” He assured, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“Azriel?” Gwyn asked after a few seconds of silence between them.

“Yes?”

“Tonight was really good, but…” her voice trailed off for a second, and he waited patiently for what she had to say. “But can you please not make me edge all weekend long?” She finished in a small voice.

“Well, since you’re asking so nicely,” Azriel smiled, nodding his assent and seeing the relief on her face. “I wouldn’t push you like that too many times in a row,” he promised. “I know it’s been a lot.”

“I liked it,” Gwyn reassured him, taking his free hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.

“That’s good,” Azriel needed to hear that from her too.

As much as he loved being in control he was often worried he could hurt her. Talking things out was always necessary to make sure they were both comfortable with everything that happened. “But if something ever feels like too much you just say the word, okay love?” He reminded her one more time.

“Yeah, I know,” Gwyn closed her eyes, a smile on her face. Azriel didn’t say anything about it, he was sure that she was still listening and he knew she already knew everything he was saying.

“I want you safe over anything else.” He said softly, letting her shuffle closer until her face was hidden in his chest and his shadows were wrapped all around her.

“S’why I always trust you.” Gwyn spoke quietly, her words a little muffled against his skin, but he caught them anyway.

She didn’t need a reply. She knew he’d cherish that, no one had ever valued her trust the way Azriel always did in every aspect of their relationship.

“I love you,” he mumbled one last time, his lips leaving a gentle kiss in her hair.

Gwyn’s breathing slowed as she relaxed in his arms and in his warmth, slowly drifting off to sleep filled with nothing but the familiar sense of contentment Azriel’s hold always brought to her.

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