#i finish paying off my medical bills this month

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

Listen, I would love to get involved in petty internet drama as much as the next guy, but I have a full-time job, rent due on the first, and credit card debt, so I'm little too preoccupied at the moment

[creations-by-chaosfay]

A thing I pre-ordered months ago has shipped!

What's the thing?

Keepsake Quilting, and several other quilt companies/stores, put a sort of gift box together with fabric, notions, patterns, and gift cards in them. You don't know what you're getting, making it a surprise. I have never purchased one because they're expensive. This was 50% upfront, 50% when shipped, for a total of $150. Considering how much is in it, and what reviews were left the last several years, it's a steal. Plus, I wanna treat myself after having such a stressful and unpleasant year.

My mom and one of aunts have ordered such boxes in the past, but according to my mom, they're disappointing because she has so many of the things in the package, or no use for many of them. Rulers (some of which cost $30), needles, rotary cutters and extra blades (blades can be $10/each, new cutters up to $50), fabric marking tools (chalk pencils, disappearing ink, etc), precut fabric collections (jelly rolls can be $80, fat quarter collections up to $100 depending on number of FQs), and yardage ($12.99-$21.99/yard). She's been disappointed by "ugly" fabric too many times.

I, on the other hand, have significantly fewer tools. I make things for people to buy, and some folks love fabric I cannot stand (like x-mas and patriotic prints). There have been fabrics I consider well and truly hideous, and those I list in my shop or sell to people here. One person's trash is another's treasure, right? I've met people who think pastels are ugliest things to have ever existed. I think baby pink and green military camouflage look fantastic together, as well as turquoise and light hemp brown or terracotta and peacock blue. My mom finds them hideous. I think pink and any shade of brown look terrible together, or red and khaki (likely from working at Target and seeing is everywhere). Again, personal taste.

If any of you ever fancy treating me to one of these random collections of fabric and/or notions, feel free to do so. They're the sort of surprise I enjoy (that and people purchasing my work, especially from my shop). Sure, there are things that may he of no use to me, but others can use them. Nothing goes to waste.

This package will be arriving on November 18th, and has me giggling with excitement!

[punkshort]

Recovery

Summary: You care for Joel while he is on the mend from his injury. (Part two of Three Days)

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!reader, established relationship, set in the TWWW universe, no use of Y/N.

Warnings: language, discussion of injury, soft!Joel, smut (18+ MDNI), fingering, handjob, dirty talk, oral (m receiving)

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: I didn't expect part one to be so well received, thank you everyone who liked/commented and wanted to be tagged in this story! I'm a little nervous about this one and I don't know if I like it now, I hope I did it justice.

Part Two

"C'mon, it ain't that far, I just wanna stretch my legs a bit," Joel said to you from the couch. You shook your head and gave him a stern look.

"Bill said you need to stay off that leg at least another week, you're just going to have to wait," you said as you finished making lunch. You placed his sandwich with a small salad on a tray and brought it over to the living room, where Joel had taken up residence for almost the past month while he healed. Under strict orders not to put unnecessary weight on his leg, he had been stuck on the couch during the warmest stretch of summer yet, and it was causing him to be a difficult patient.

"I'm losin' my mind here," he grumbled as he took a bite of sandwich. You rolled your eyes and bit your tongue as you went to go clean up the kitchen. You were doing your best to take care of him, and he was very agreeable in the beginning, but as his strength built up, so did his boredom.

"You're not invincible, you know. All you need to do is sit there and let us take care of you," you said over your shoulder. "Then you can do whatever you want."

"I feel fine, I don't need you hoverin' over me all the damn time," he said sharply. Shocked, you looked over at him from the kitchen. His eyes were cast down and focused on his food, completely unphased by how hurtful he was being. You turned away without saying anything in return as tears sprung to your eyes.

His recovery wasn't easy on you, either. You had to learn how to be a nurse in just a few short hours so he could have the comforts of home as soon as the doctor cleared him. At the time, you had been so exhausted from sleeping on a lumpy cot on the floor, but you put all your energy into paying close attention to what Bill, Jackson's resident doctor, and Carrie, his nurse, were telling you. They taught you how to take his blood pressure, change and clean his dressings, and a few physical therapy exercises you had to help him with daily. Not to mention the handful of medications you had to keep straight and the long list of "red flag" signs you had to remember. But you didn't mind, because it meant he was going to come home, and he was going to be okay. So, to hear him sound so ungrateful more than hurt your feelings.

You sniffled quietly before turning back around. He had finished eating and picked up a crossword, oblivious to your reaction. Taking a shaky breath in, you strode over to the living room to pick up his tray.

"Tommy's going to be here soon, I have to work this afternoon," you mumbled. Joel huffed and kept working on his crossword.

"Don't need him hoverin' over me, either. I'll be fine by myself. Could use the peace and quiet, anyway," he said, the last part mostly under his breath, but you still heard it.

You angrily dropped the dishes into the sink, making him jump and look up from across the living room.

"What the hell?" he yelled, his brows furrowed.

"Yeah, 'what the hell' is right, Joel," you replied with your hand on your hip and your lower lip trembling. "Maybe try showing a little gratitude for the people who are taking time out of their day to help you."

"I didn't ask for any help, I can take care of myself!" he shouted.

"No, you can't! You could have died, you asshole!" you yelled right back. One tear slid down your cheek, but he was too far away to notice it.

"Whoa! What's with all the yellin'?" Tommy said as he entered the kitchen. He looked back and forth between you and Joel, the two of you glaring at the other. He did a double take when he noticed you turn and subtly wipe the tears from your cheek.

"It's nothin'," Joel finally said, his voice quieter but still strained, and turned back to his crossword. Tommy took a step toward you and was about to speak, but you cut him off.

"I gotta go. Thanks for coming by, Tommy," you said quietly, and hurriedly made your way out the front door.

Tommy ticked his jaw to the side as he stared at the closed door for a moment before turning around, eyeing up Joel warily as he joined him in the living room.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Tommy asked with a sigh as he crossed his legs, his ankle coming to rest on the top of his knee.

"I didn't do anythin'," Joel muttered, tossing the crossword down angrily before he continued. "I'm sick of bein' cooped up, I just wanted to take a short walk."

"Didn't Bill say you can't do that til next week?"

"Yeah, but c'mon, Tommy. I know my body, I know what I can do. I just wanted her help with this one thing-"

"One thing?" Tommy repeated, cutting Joel off. "One thing?! That girl's been killin' herself for you for a goddamn month, takin' care of everythin' around here and you think you're only askin' her for 'one thing'?"

Joel scoffed and crossed his arms, averting his gaze to look outside.

"This ain't none of your business, anyway," Joel replied, still avoiding his brother's glare.

"The hell it ain't," Tommy said bitterly, dropping his foot to the ground so he could lean closer to Joel, hoping to make his next words stick.

"I watched that girl fall apart that night. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. She was fuckin' scared, Joel. I never saw her like that, ever," Tommy said firmly, watching as Joel's mouth twitched but kept his gaze directed out the window. "You ever think about that? 'Bout what she went through? She nearly tore the place down tryin' to get to you. Never left your side. She woulda cut her arms wide open so you could take her blood had Holly taken any longer to get there."

Joel's eyes dropped to the floor and he pursed his lips as he absorbed what Tommy said.

"That right?" Joel asked softly.

"Yeah, that's right. What the hell you think, Joel? For some reason, she loves you and would do anythin' for you. So maybe quit thinkin' about yourself for once," Tommy snapped, leaning back in his chair.

"I just feel so goddamn useless, Tommy," Joel said quietly, still looking at the ground. "I hate sittin' around like this."

Tommy sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Think of it like a vacation, because I'm gonna have your ass back on patrol as soon as possible, and you'll miss havin' your own personal nurse around, waitin' on you hand and foot."

Tommy picked up an old magazine and began leafing through it.

"You wanna watch a movie or somethin'?" Tommy asked, his eyes still glued to the magazine.

"Sure, yeah, pick whatever you want," Joel mumbled, lost in thought.

You came home from work, feeling guilty that you enjoyed the break away from the house, but you couldn't deny that a few hours helped quell your anger. Sighing, you walked into the kitchen to find Tommy doing the dishes.

"Oh, Tommy, you don't have to do that," you said as you walked up next to him and leaned against the counter, your back to the living room and Joel.

"It's no trouble, darlin'," Tommy said with a grin as he finished the last plate. "I fed the beast, so you try to take it easy tonight, yeah?"

You smirked at his nickname for Joel and nodded.

"Sure. Thanks again for sitting with him while I worked, we both appreciate it," you told him while he dried his hands and gave Joel a quick wave as you walked him to the front door.

"Anytime. I also set him straight for you," he said quietly with a wink. You scoffed and rolled your eyes. As if that man could ever be reasoned with.

"Good night, Tommy," you said as you shut the door. You took a deep breath, digging deep to find the patience to deal with Joel for the rest of the night. You really hoped he wasn't going to continue your argument from earlier. Between his round the clock care and your job, you were barely getting any sleep, and you just didn't have the energy to fight any more.

"Hey," you said tiredly as you made your way into the living room. Joel looked up from the TV when you spoke and reached for the remote to turn it down. You were about to collapse into the loveseat across from him when he stopped you.

"Why don't you come sit by me?" he asked softly. You gave him a look before you nodded and sat down on his left, leaning on the arm of the couch as you tucked your legs under you.

"What are you watching?" you asked with a yawn, trying to place the movie playing on the screen.

"Tired?" he asked, ignoring your question. You nodded, your eyes still on the TV. He reached out to place a hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze, finally drawing your attention onto him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said as he absentmindedly rubbed your leg. "I shouldn't've said all that to you, I didn't mean it. I appreciate everythin' you're doin' for me, I'm just... restless, or somethin'. And I took it out on you."

Your eyebrows shot up, surprised, as you stared into his deep, brown eyes. Eyes that were filled with shame and regret. You rested one of your hands on top of his, your thumb rubbing small circles over his knuckles.

"It's alright," you told him with a small smile. "I'm sorry, too."

"What are you sorry for?" Joel asked. You paused for a moment, opening your mouth to answer, but he cut you off.

"Are you sorry for spendin' all your time takin' care of some old, ungrateful jackass?"

The corner of your mouth twitched before you replied.

"You're not that old," you teased, and he smirked. "I just let all the stress get to me. It's fine, really. Maybe I'll go to bed early tonight, or something."

"Hm," he said, turning back to the TV.

"What?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothin'. Just was thinkin' maybe I can help you relax, considerin' how much you do for me," he said lowly, looking down as his fingers inched up your leg and brushed underneath the hem of your shorts.

"You have a broken pelvis, remember?" you said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but my fingers work just fine," he said, looking up at you and leaning over. His gaze darkened as he let his hand slide down between your legs, running his finger up the seam of your denim shorts and pressing gently against your clothed heat. You gasped and gripped his wrist.

"Joel," you whispered in a poor attempt to stop him as heat immediately bloomed between your legs. "You don't have to."

"I know. I wanna take care of you for once, please let me," he begged, leaning closer and wrapping his arm around your shoulders, tugging you towards him so he could slot his lips against yours while his other hand made its way to your hip, squeezing you there before he reached for the button of your jeans.

"Take these off," he whispered against your mouth after he pulled your zipper all the way down. You eagerly lifted your hips to pull down your underwear and shorts in one go, then brought your arms up to wrap around his neck as his tongue slid past your lips.

You were still sitting next to each other, the cast on his leg prohibiting him from doing much except sitting and laying on his back. You frowned when you realized this and pulled back, his mouth falling to your neck instead.

"How?" you asked him breathily. You slid your eyes shut and tilted your head back so he could gain better access to the underside of your jaw, letting out a low moan when he located your pulse point, his scratchy beard rubbing on your delicate skin.

"Sit on my lap," he mumbled against you before tipping his head in the other direction so he could pay the same mind to the other side of your throat.

"But, your -" you began, about to point out his many injuries were still healing before he cut you off.

"Sit on my fuckin' lap," he growled impatiently, his hands falling to your hips and giving you a forceful tug towards him. You decided to compromise, swinging your leg over to straddle him while you hovered above his hips, being mindful of applying too much weight. You brought your hands up to cup his face and crushed his lips with a bruising kiss, feverishly licking inside his mouth as you realized just how much you missed him, and that it had been so long since he last touched you. Even before the accident, his patrol route was exhausting him to the point where he was falling asleep before the sun set.

"Look at you," he whispered as he tipped his head back, breaking the kiss and looking you up and down, his eyes lingering at the way you were spread open for him. "I'm the luckiest son of a bitch in the world."

You felt your cheeks flush at the compliment, still taken aback at the change in him from just a few hours ago.

"Wow, what happened here when I was gone?" you asked him teasingly as you raked your fingers through his dark curls. Your breath hitched as he ran both his palms slowly up your bare thighs, squeezing gently as he made his way closer to the ache between your legs.

"Me and Tommy had a talk," he said, watching your face closely as his finger slid along your folds, causing you to jump.

"Easy," Joel murmured softly while pressing a warm kiss against your collarbone. You sighed and rolled your shoulders, trying to relax.

"It's been so long, Joel," you whimpered, trying to explain your reaction.

"I know, sweetheart," he cooed, bringing his middle finger back up to trace your seam again while his other hand held your hip steady this time. "Should be a fuckin' crime. You deserve to be worshipped every single day."

Joel sunk his middle finger inside you right as he finished his sentence, making you toss your head back with a moan. He smirked, always pleased he could pull those sounds out of you while he looked up to admire your face. Your eyes were squeezed shut, brows pinched, and your mouth hung open as you focused on the sensation of his thick finger stretching you out for the first time in weeks.

"So tight," he grunted, his eyes glazed over as he watched you struggle to find your breath while his finger slowly pumped in and out of your pulsing cunt. "Gotta relax."

You swallowed roughly and nodded, opening your eyes and softening your brow as you sucked air in through your parted lips. Once you felt yourself adjust, you began to bounce lightly on his hand, trying to match his rhythm, your fingertips digging into his shoulders for leverage.

"More," you whispered, licking your lips. Joel couldn't help the smug grin that spread across his face as he pulled his middle finger out of your pussy and popped it into his mouth, along with his pointer finger. You groaned when he gave you a satisfied wink at the taste. He brought his fingers back between your legs and pushed them both inside, your cunt immediately gripping his digits at the intrusion.

"Shit, that's it," Joel groaned, curling his fingers against your warm walls while he watched you bounce up and down on his hand again, this time with more force. You dropped your head to rest on his shoulder, your fingers digging harder into his arms.

"Remind me to thank Tommy tomorrow," you panted in his ear as a familiar pressure began building in your lower abdomen and warmth crawled up your chest and neck.

"He told me. 'Bout that night," he said through clenched teeth, trying to ignore his painfully hard cock. His other hand was held firmly on your hip, guiding you up and down to match the rhythm of his flicking wrist. He felt your hips stutter as you processed what he said, then you slowed down and leaned back to look at him.

"What about it?" you asked him quietly. He could sense your demeanor changing, so he lifted his thumb up to press against your clit, earning a sharp gasp from your throat before you reached down to stop him.

"What about it?" you asked again, firmly this time, staring down at him. He removed his hand from your hip so he could wrap it around the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing gently against your jaw.

"Told me how tore up you were, tryin' to see me," he whispered, his fingers pumping in and out of you painfully slow as he spoke. "How you couldn't eat or sleep, wouldn't leave my side." He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he felt his eyes begin to water. He blinked quickly before asking, "all that true?"

You sniffed and nodded before you began to roll your hips against his hand again. His thumb stroked along your jaw as you gazed at each other, the atmosphere in the room shifting to one more serious.

"I was so scared, Joel," you admitted quietly, your voice small. "I thought you were going to die."

Your lower lip trembled for a moment as you reached up to run your finger gently down his stubbled cheek and then again down the length of his nose as if to remind yourself he was real, that he lived and he was going to be okay. You let out a soft whimper when he pressed his thumb back against your clit, circling the bundle of nerves.

"It's okay, I'm right here," he whispered, pulling you down so he could press his lips against your mouth quickly before resting his forehead on yours. He dropped his hand back to your hip and urged you to go faster, curling his fingers inside you again until he found that spot that made your back arch.

"I can't lose you," you gasped as two tears slid down your cheeks. You pressed your forehead into his harder now, the muscles in your stomach tightening as his fingers expertly began to pull an orgasm out of you. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," he said, leaning forward to suck a bruise into the delicate skin on your throat. His chest ached for causing you so much pain, wishing desperately he could take it all away.

You felt yourself clamp down on his fingers as his thumb slid back and forth across your clit, quickly bringing you to the edge.

"Shit, I'm -" you gasped and tilted your head back, unable to finish your sentence as you felt your orgasm begin to wash over you, a filthy moan erupting from your throat. Your legs shook and your vision went spotty as you felt your neck and face flush from the intensity.

"Ohmygod, Joel - fuck - " you cried out, swinging your head forward to rest on his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful, I love makin' you feel good," he mumbled against you, gently biting at your earlobe. His fingers slowed inside you, waiting until he felt your body relax before he pulled them out to palm his erection through his sweatpants. You hissed at the loss, your cunt clenching around nothing, already missing his touch.

Forehead still resting on his shoulder, you panted lightly for breath, and glancing down, watched as he ran his hand aggressively up and down his clothed cock, trying to find some relief. A lazy smirk spread across your face.

You reached down to swat his hand away and dipped your fingers below his waistband. Your other hand gripped the sweatpants you cut a pantleg off so he could fit his casted leg through, and, giving them a little tug down, watched as his hard length bobbed up and slapped against his stomach.

Wrapping your hand gently around his cock, you slowly began to drag your fist up and down, your thumb brushing over his slit and collecting the wetness there.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you - ouch," he gasped with a wince. You froze and lifted your hips up even higher, glancing down to make sure you didn't accidentally sit on him.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" you asked, letting him go as you were about to swing your leg back over, but his hand shot up to stop you, gripping your thigh firmly to hold you in place.

"You're fine, wasn't you," he rasped, opening his eyes to look at you. "I moved my hips. When you touched me, I - nevermind, keep goin'," he said with a shake of his head and reached for your hand, placing it back around his erection.

"Are you sure?" you asked, but began to slowly move your fist up and down anyway. He nodded, his eyes sliding shut while he leaned his head back on the couch cushion.

"Yeah. Fuck, that's it - faster," he mumbled, one eye peering open so he could find your wrist to show you the pace he preferred.

"So impatient," you teased with a smirk, and he huffed. "But that's okay," you whispered, leaning forward as you twisted your wrist up and down his cock, feeling it pulse under your fingertips. "I'll give you whatever you want, baby."

"Don't say shit like that to me, gonna make me come way too fast" he said with a groan, his fingers releasing their death grip on your leg to press firmly against your overly sensitive clit again, making you cry out.

"Oh god, Joel," you whined, your head falling forward on his shoulder again. You could feel the tears pricking the corners of your eyes as your thighs shook, your body still too sensitive from your first orgasm.

"Can't wait til I can fuck you again," he gasped, another dribble of precum trickling over his tip as your fist continued to work him up and down. "I'm gonna spend the whole day inside this perfect little pussy, you hear me?"

You nodded, your head still resting on his shoulder, your eyes closed and your mouth agape as his fingers pressed quick circles over your clit. The pain from the overstimulation quickly subsided as your stomach began to tighten again, your breaths coming in short drags.

"Whole town's gonna hear you screamin' my name," he continued to ramble, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the white-hot flames begin to burn in his lower abdomen. "All fuckin' day. Gonna be filled with my cock, or my fingers, or my tongue. You ain't gonna be able to walk the next day, I can promise you that."

You gasped his name, cunt pulsing around nothing as you felt a trickle of your release drip down your leg, his filthy words taking you right over the edge of your second orgasm. Your hand only paused for a second on his cock before you continued to jerk him up and down, faster now, wanting him to join you.

"Shit, I'm gonna come," Joel groaned, his hand falling from your center and his head leaning back so he could watch your fist work him.

"Wait," you said, shakily lifting your hips so you could bring your feet to the ground between his legs. Gently, you nudged his good leg to the side so he would give you more room to sink to your knees before him. You looked up at him through your eyelashes and opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue before wrapping your fingers around his cock again. You tapped the underside of his tip on the warm surface of your tongue, letting him know where you wanted it. With a low moan and his fingers clutching your hair, he watched, entranced, as his hot, white ropes of cum covered your tongue, his gaze darkening as you stared him right in the eye and swallowed with a smirk.

"I mean it, sweetheart," he panted, unblinking with a shake of his head. "All day. All fuckin' day."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mr. Miller," you told him, standing up and bracing yourself with your arms planted on either side of his head. You leaned down to give him a soft kiss before you twisted your body, collapsing on the couch next to him and tiredly pulling your clothes back on.

You laid there for a while, the side of your head resting on his good leg as you both caught your breath and stared mindlessly at the TV, not absorbing any of the dialogue while his fingers drew lazy circles on your back.

"I'm sorry I put you through all this," he said, breaking the silence. You turned your head so you could look up at him while he spoke. "Shoulda been more careful. That place was fallin' apart, I don't know what the hell I was thinkin'."

He looked down to meet your gaze, his eyes flitting across your face before he tucked a loose piece of hair behind your ear.

"You were thinking you had a town to help protect," you told him, sitting up. "That's what you do. You keep us safe, and you find things to bring back to help us survive." You reached a hand out to cup his face. "All that matters is you're going to be okay."

"No," he said, his hand coming up to cover the one you had pressed against his cheek. "You are all that matters." He pulled your hand away, giving it a quick kiss before holding it in his lap. "You are all I care about keepin' safe."

His eyes fluttered shut a moment before he sighed and opened them again.

"I've been lookin' for you my whole damn life. I ain't gonna fuck it up now," he said, his voice pained. "I promise you, I'll be more careful."

You scooted closer to him, leaning in to press your mouth against his, your lips pulling at his lower lip tenderly before leaning back. His hand came up to grip your chin, his thumb running gently over your lip.

"Will you sleep down here with me tonight?" he asked you earnestly. You nodded right away.

"Of course," you said with a small smile. "I was already planning on it."

The couch wasn't very big, so since his injury, you've been sleeping alone in bed. But after the emotional day, you each felt the urge to remain close. So, you gathered your pillows and an extra blanket and made yourself a bed on the loveseat, but somehow ended up squeezed onto the couch with Joel, curled up at his side, right where you both belonged.

Tag List: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777, @shotgun-shelby @partyofone3413 @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @amyispxnk @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @orcasoul

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I raised my brother's "rent"?

Longer version: I (30ish) might be losing my current paycheck in the next couple months with no idea when I'd be able to get another job, and am contemplating asking my brother (30ish) for a bit more than he currently pays me so I can manage to pay the mortgage with less worries.

6 years ago I managed to scrape together enough to buy the apartment we were renting at the time- my brother had no job, credit, or savings really at the time so everything is fully in my name and he just pays me what his half of the rent was when we were renting. Since the monthly mortgage + HOA dues is less than what we were paying for rent, with both of us contributing the same amount as we did then it covers the payments great and I am able to put a bit extra towards it each month.

But now 6 years later- due to health problems I took 3 months off end of last year (unpaid- which cut into my savings) and even though I am back at work now, I'm guessing due to continuing health issues I will have to fully quit in the next few months. Plus, I have several thousand in medical bills (after the hospital finishes fighting with insurance) coming my way soon. On the other side, my brother now has a full time job which while the pay isn't anything fantastic is enough for him to live comfortably on. While I have enough savings to live on for a bit and keep paying what I was towards the mortgage, just in case things go on longer I'm planning on dropping down to the minimum mortgage payment to try and stretch my money as much as possible. This leads to my dilemma- minimum payment wouldn't fully be covered by my brother's informal "rent", and I would still be paying towards it either way, but an extra $50 a month from him would make a significant impact.

Why I might be the asshole- raising my brother's expenses (when I leave my job) for basically personal reasons, when technically I could still get by on savings for several months.

Why I might not be the asshole- in 6 years his payment (and mine) has gone up once a very small amount due to increased HOA dues, other than that this would be the first time it goes up which is unusual for the area. Plus, even with the increase it is still roughly $250 cheaper than he would be able to find housing anywhere else in town right now.

What are these acronyms?

[iboatedhere]

Thank you @lemonlyman-dotcom @cha-melodius @jmagnabo92 for the tags!

Should be the last share from the Neighbors AU before I post sometime this weekend, maybe.

--

Alex doesn’t know what happened. 

One second he was making a mental list of all the things he had to do when he got to the office (1. Top off his coffee. 2. See if there’s anything to the claims of voter suppression from the Richards campaign out in Grand Rapids. 3. Have an all-consuming but totally low-key breakdown in the bathroom about what will happen if Senator Luna doesn’t win in November. 4. Help the interns put together SWAG bags for the fundraiser next week in Flagstaff.) and the next he was on the cold ground looking up at the cloud filled sky. 

“Are you all right?”

A voice, soft and British and fucking lovely floats down. 

It’s his hot neighbor, the one with the long legs, cashmere sweaters, and adorable beagle who moved in three months ago, but Alex has yet to introduce himself to. 

This is not the way he thought it would happen. 

He thought it would be a nice bottle of wine or whiskey—and glasses from the gift shop near campaign headquarters, the ones with the city grid etched into them. Maybe a couple of tea towels or coasters. Something simple and fun. 

It would be late and his neighbor would invite him in for a drink and they’d get to talking and….

Alex isn’t looking for a boyfriend—not with how busy he is—but they could have fun. 

But work got in the way and time passed and suddenly it felt too awkward to welcome him to the neighborhood when he was already set and settled. 

“Can you hear me?”

Alex turns his head to watch slipper clad feet start down the steps followed closely by dog paws. 

“Careful,” Alex tells him before he hits the bottom, “it’s really—.”

His neighbor gets two steps from the stoop when he goes down, hard, landing with a thud beside Alex. 

“Slippery,” Alex finishes. 

“Fuck,” his neighbors says. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Alex agrees. “You know, it’s the property owners responsibility to remove snow and ice from the sidewalk in front of their home.”

“Bloody hell. You could sue me.”

“I could. Probably get you to pay for any medical bills I might accrue.”

“Will you have medical bills?”

“Probably not. I think my ass broke my fall.”

His neighbor makes a strangled sound then coughs. 

Tagging: @suseagull04 @anincompletelist @piratefalls @porcelainmortal @magicandarchery @maxbegone @orchidscript

@oxfordslutphase @fullsunsets @sunshinestrand @cricketnationrise

@liminalmemories21 @luainthewild @youcancallmekathyp @bitbybitwrites

@henryspearl @inexplicablymine

[skyjynxart]

Emergency Commission Sales

I- don’t know where to begin. 

This started as a vet bill fund, but now the situation is just- so much worse, because when I arrived at work yesterday, I was told I am being let go. They were extremely unclear as to why exactly, but as I live in an at-will state, it doesn’t really matter.

I have no job, a massive vet bill to pay, a wisdom tooth coming in, and a car with no heat going into winter. 

I don’t really know what I’m going to do beyond the immediate coverage of vet bills, because I submitted over 140 applications with no response before I finally heard back from this place- there are just more people looking for jobs than there are jobs remotely near where I live, but I can’t afford to survive, much less move. 

Financial Details: One of my cats has one, possibly two abscessed teeth that need removed. I paid $260 for a vet visit, blood work, and antibiotics. I got the quote for what surgery will cost this morning, and they are estimating between $1,175 - $1,715, depending on if he needs both teeth taken out or just one.

I have been putting off my own wisdom tooth removal while I saved up for it, because it will cost $1,100

I don’t know how much it will cost to fix the heat in my car for winter.

My monthly expenses are $460/month because the cost of my medication has gone up after my sliding scale application was denied. I still have to pay $380 of those monthly expenses for November.

As of now, if I forgo my own dental care entirely, and empty my savings entirely, that will still leave me -$851 in the red. Anything that does not go to covering this month’s expenses and Severus’s vet fees will go to either next month’s expenses, or to saving for my own dental needs.

I will be figuring out a more sustainable plan over the next few days, but my current focus is on the immediate issue in front of me.

For the immediate moment, I am offering the following:

25% off my kofi shop using the code SEVVYTEETH . This goes until the end of the month. https://ko-fi.com/skyjynx/link/SEVVYTEETH 

3 Commission Slots I will be opening 3 commission slots for ANY TYPE on my price sheet: https://skyjynx.carrd.co/#pricing Those 3 pieces will be started once I finish my current owed art [https://trello.com/b/TCd6yTnL/art-queue] (everything in ‘currently working on’) When those are all finished, I will open 3 more slots. I am more than happy to draw your OCs, your blorbos from games/tv/etc, or even spicy content (*some kinks at my discretion, but feel free to ask!)

REMINDER: Kofi & patreon subscribers have access to discounted pricing which can be found here: https://skyjynxcomms.carrd.co/ 

If you'd like to claim a commission slot you can do so by DM

If you just wanna toss some money my way, I do have a ko-fi for tips: https://ko-fi.com/skyjynx

Reblogs/boosting apprecaited. <3

[watercryptid]

Help A Disabled Intersex Trans Person Go Back To School!!!

I'm Sock/Enoch, a 25-year-old mentally and physically disabled intersex trans lesbian who dropped out of college due to intense burnout, causing me to owe the school I attended nearly $4000. I am finally at a stable place in my life where I believe I can go back part-time and finish my degree, but I am unable to enroll in classes due to my outstanding balance. I have set up a payment plan for $100 a month, as that is all I can afford, but credits do expire and I worry that it will take too long to pay it off and I will have to re-take classes, adding even more expenses. On top of that, my medical bills are stacking up from to frequent visits due to my disabilities, as well as unexpected expenses that have been popping up recently. This degree could help me obtain a better position or job which would greatly improve my life, possibly even pulling me out of life-long poverty and allowing me to support my three partners (one of which is also disabled and unable to work) and four cats. If you can donate even just a dollar, I would appreciate it so much! If not, please reblog so I can gain more visibility and possibly more donations, and thank you so much!

If you'd like to skip the middle man and donate to me directly, please send it to my ca$h@pp: $crytidpunk

or DM me for my PayPal email!

Thank you so much!!!!

[dooksofearl]

SQUEAK SPEAK

Monthly newsletter for Dooks of Earl Ferret Sanctuary Inc

Happy April and Greetings to Everyone!

Much excitement at our little rescue this month and I can't wait to tell you.

Thanks to my income tax check coming in our fundraising goal for between now and May 1st is only $768.00

That will cover

The rescues regular bills like; utilities ($280 on average since our HVAC is still out, but we are hoping someone is coming to fix it soon), and pet foods ($488). I have managed to raise enough to cover the other bills and supplies from my income tax check. And of course, none of this is for me personally nor do I get paid for the work I do. It's not about me, it's about these animals and making their lives amazing for however long they have left.

Other needs that the rescue has not included in this list are:

As always, Pine pellets from Tractor Supply Company, we go through about 30 bags a month.

The blue dishes we got last time will be added back to our list because they are working so well for our sweet seniors and tiny ferrets in helping them eat in a more natural position.

We still have a short wishlist with links to these items on Amazon. The pine pellets I just listed tractor supply gift cards because they don't sell the pellets through Amazon for delivery.

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/dl/invite/63ZMinE?ref_=wl_share

I also want to remind everyone that you can pick us as your Walmart.com round up charity and that you can send gifts from our Walmart registry and Chewy Registry if you'd like.

https://www.walmart.com/nonprofits/7a69297c-7cb2-4cb9-a70f-3eaedd738ef4/profile

https://www.chewy.com/g/dooks-of-earl-ferret-sanctuary-inc_b103217538

We still need fence panels for an outdoor dog kennel yard if anyone has any locally they'd like to drop off. And if you are throwing out any 13 gallon kitchen trash cans or plastic bins of any size we would be thrilled to have them.

We currently have 11 ferrets in amazing foster homes so our population here is becoming very manageable for me AND we have 4 new volunteers!!!!! We are so happy to welcome Michael, his wife, and his mom to our team. They will be coming soon to help me get things back to tip top shape and I greatly appreciate it.

And an amazing girl named Michal who came yesterday and spent the day helping me. The ferrets were crazy about her and you know Keiko was too. The bunnies warmed right up to her but they are very friendly girls. Mr Maru gave her the tour till his house was finished then he had to go see what I had done and grab snacks. Cal the sugar glider, slept through it all. But what delighted me most was Mr. Spooky. Our shy, bite first ask questions later guy, went right to her and cuddled her. WOW He is still having a hard time with Justin not being here. Ferrets grieve just like us and he was really close to his dad the Ferret King. He gave me kisses and now this. It makes me so excited and emotional for him.

There was a minor set back for me medically as I have a new allergy, possibly to Stevia. Of course I try to do something good for my health and now I look like I have rolled in bees. If you don't know, this is not a surprise. Lol But I got some medicine for the hives and hopefully will be feeling much better very soon. Until then if you see me dancing against the doorway like a bear, just walk away. 😂

I'm through infusion 3 of 8. YAY! And I have a surgery consultation coming up finally so I am hopeful that it goes well and we can get a date for surgery. 🤞

I have a potential part time job as a virtual assistant and I am truly excited about that. And we are looking at setting up the trailer for a rental so that I can generate a little income and start paying off old debt and getting back on my feet again.

The three month anniversary of losing Justin was really hard on me but I want to thank everyone for their abounding kindness and support. Some days you and these rescue babies are all that gets me through to the next day. I am so grateful to have you in my life.

I also want to mention if you don't get a thank you note and receipt for your donation or some sort of confirmation, please check with me to make sure we received it. I always send a thank you note if it lets me and if you use cashapp I send a heart.

You are awesome and amazing and greatly appreciated. I could not do what I do if you weren't here supporting us and cheering me on. I hope the blessing that you are comes back to you ten fold. Have an amazing month!

Shelly Breeden-Conner

Executive director

Dooks of Earl Ferret Sanctuary Inc

731-326-0690

Tax ID 88-0945277

Donations can be made in app at:

https://www.jotform.com/app/213234930973154

Zelle and PayPal

dooksofearlferretsafehaven@gmail.com

Venmo @DooksofEarl

Cashapp $dooksofearl

Checks or money orders can be mailed to:

Dooks of Earl Ferret Sanctuary Inc

4826 US HIGHWAY 70 E

BROWNSVILLE, TN 38012-8412

[princessnijireiki]

money is such a funny thing, bc it's always simultaneously way less and way more than you would think, too.

like there's the easy joke of $5, $20, $100 is HUGE when you're a kid or young adult, but I also fairly recently was in a position where I had like $1K in the bank (in a sweet spot between a TON of major bills hitting) and it was like oh wow so $1K is a lot until it VERY SUDDENLY ISN'T bc it only STAYS a lot if your needs are already met. if your needs surpass your means, or frankly, you've been scraping by below or within your means but really shouldn't have been, that shit evaporates in an instant. car, teeth, emergency vet bills, food. poof!

or I saw a hypothetical, would you rather know every language on earth fluently, or get $3 million dollars? and I had to crunch the numbers, because if you work every year from 18 to 78 (as in well past retirement age/at the end of a lot of people's projected lifespan), you'd have to make $50K per year AFTER taxes, every year for 60 years, to earn an ACCUMULATED $3 million. at $30K/year, you'd have to work 100 years.

and then, the flipside of that is, unless you die at exactly those ages, peacefully and in perfect health, how many people still struggle to make ends meet at $30-50K even when they ARE young and healthy? what's that look like in a hurricane, or after a car wreck, a disability, having a pet, having a KID, a marriage, a divorce, a funeral? how many people make $30-50K and when that check engine light comes on, or their child needs braces, or grandma needs a home health aide, or they get injured or sick and need to take FMLA, they realize that one thing now has them financially fucked? how many people making $30-50K per year do you know who have 6 months' worth of expenses set aside in an emergency savings account?

meanwhile, for $3,000,000, that money as a lump you don't have to touch or live paycheck to paycheck on also means you can accumulate interest, invest money, and so on. the access to lifetimes of funds to provide ease to this one life is a huge privilege most of us will never, ever know, and then you find out some stupid as fuck movie or commercial campaign cost tens or hundreds of millions. those rich people who got squished in the idiot submarine... lifetimes of wealth between them and their imploding stupid boat.

and so you look at all that, and you look at what medical debt looks like, or recovery from a fire or something, and once you see enough of that, the lottery fantasy answers get a lot more boring. like, I'd still have to finish this degree, get and keep a job to carry insurance and max out my retirement— maybe a flexible enough job that you grind for a few years to replace your house's down payment in the lump sum, then pull mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. out of that interest, and the job income is pure health insurance, 401K, and takeout/walking around money. you pay your debts, help take care of a handful of loved ones, retire them early or pay off a house (over time, so the interest can still accrue on a bigger amount of money than the new sum from X minus $house). splurge on a vacation every so often. set up a college fund for a few kids, or neices, or nephews, or cousins.

and then it's like... go fishing. eat well! learn to sleep without fear of poverty, I don't know. know that if the money can grow, it can help a LOT of people feel safe, and that succumbing to the emotional urge to take care of everybody before that egg can grow bigger is what keeps people in multigenerational poverty, and that it's gonna mean things don't get to be easy for you mentally, emotionally, or even in terms of labor unless you're cashing out your chips right now to take care of yourself (which is also valid!). pick a charity every year to make their day.

and it's bonkers that $3mil feels like such a real number compared to some of these lotteries or very wealthy people/their property in the world, that even though it's cartoonishly out of reach, among the stars, it feels like, "is it even that much?" and like... yes, it very much is lmao, even though if you're under 50 it's not guaranteed "never have to work again" money. but that also means it's not "buy a castle & become a beekeeper slash professional poet as my only sources of income" big dreams & fantasies money, either.

[iliterallydecepticanteven]

How's "Of Gutters and Galaxies" coming along? Hasn't updated in a while. No rush! Take your time. Just wanted to check in

Thank you for checking in! In a sense, it was on the back burner, then I forgot about it, took it off the stove, and it's sitting in the fridge.

Real talk, I do want to finish it by the end of the year. But every time I sit down to outline the end of the fic, I freeze up with all these questions of if the ending I'm imagining is the ending I want to give it, if I will continue the fic in a series, if yes am I gonna merge it with an AU I've already made or crave out a new, and if I do continue it then I have to adjust the ending accordingly for a smooth tie in. And it all gets so overwhelming that I just give up and work on something else, typically shorter and without existing connections.

I also get torn between wanting to write the ending in its entirety and then posting chapters on a schedule or working one chapter at a time so I have time to mull over where I want the story to go. I can't say how many chapters or words are left, but I will say, where the fic currently is, is what I would consider the end of the second act of a three act story. Like more is going to happen but again I try to think over what that more is and freeze up.

Life has also gotten crazy between working to pay off medical bills (which I did in full earlier this year!!), going on a trip with family, a death in my extended family, and now working to pay off my credit card debt. I can't take on more hours at work since I'm already full time so I've been donating plasma twice a week because I also want to pay off my credit card by the end of the year. Plus I got yanked into a tricky phone plan situation which put even more of a strain on my finances and got surprise dropped from my family's insurance so I had to scramble to get onto my employer's insurance and reschedule a ton of appointments I had made months prior to getting dropped. But all of that is a rant post for a different time.

And just to be clear I don't mind asks like these! I actually like them! It makes me so happy to know that even though it's been literally forever since I updated you like my work so much that you took the time to check in on me and see how it was progressing 💜 (even if it did mean getting an extended pseudo vent post in return lol)

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Fancy helping me surprise my husband with a fantastic gift?

His XBox One is no longer reading discs. It also likes to randomly disconnect from the internet. The machine is old, and getting it repaired costs more than getting a new one. Thing is, we don't wanna buy a new XBox One when an XBox Series X is available ($500 USD). Series X has a disc drive, Series S does not.

I have the XBox Series X pinned on my Throne wishlist. My hope is, after paying off the medical bills (done) and the Care Credit vet bill ($1300) with quilt sales, I can surprise my husband with an XBox Series X. He can play more of his games and be able to relax...and get Baldur's Gate 3 for XBox because it's something we both wanna play. My PC needs a new graphics card before I can play this game on it, and I haven't the necessary skills (nor money) to install one.

If y'all wanna help me surprise my husband with a gift, you can do so two ways:

Purchase my work and help me pay off the Care Credit bill. I'll be turning the three finished quilt tops into finished quilts over the next three months, then listing them in my shop. Commissions open in March for my members, April for everyone else.

Donate to my Throne crowd funding thing I have pinned on my list. It's specifically for the XBox. Donations to my Ko-Fi go towards the bill goal, not towards the XBox.

My website:

Ideally, I would have the funds by February. February was once the worst months of the year for me. Something traumatizing happened to me, resulting in PTSD and me, more or less, avoiding everyone and everything. That has changed over the last five years, and now it's just another month. It would be nice to celebrate it with a gift for him. Plus, there's the benefit of him being able to play more of his games.

Yes, we each have separate consoles. He also has his own room with his DnD stuff, a sofa, desk, TV, XBox, films, and games. Separate spaces is vital for us, and has made a massive difference.

After he has his gift, and I'm not telling him about this because I wanna make a surprise, I'll focus on putting all my funds towards paying off the new water heater. An XBox Series X for myself is definitely a yes, later in 2024, because I wanna play Baldur's Gate 3. Plus, other new games are coming out that will require a new console. Maybe we'll be able to get the console for my 41st bday in June? We shall see!

[supermaks]

F1isms aside how are you doing? sounds like it’s been a rough half year, hope you’re hanging in there

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀 tysm for asking🩷

I mean our fund raiser nearly hit its goal but tbh like it’s so crazy to me that so many people already wanna help us so like even irl I have family and friends who I thought wud come thru and didn’t. Like my aunt literally just called us this week offering COTA tickets and I was like . Can’t u just help pay a few medical bills. Can’t u send my mom some rent money because yk shes about to lose the house and she can’t get a job and we’re gonna be homeless lmfao. And my aunt was actually super offended that I was offended lmfao and now I feel like I shud have told her yes and then made another giveaway for those fucking tickets because fuck her. but whtvr. I think for some reason I just didn’t expect to feel so alone. Yk other people struggling wid their own shit but like. Me and Mrs kat have my mom, who’s can barely afford to feed us and keep us off the streets. Mrs kat parents came out all the way from Marseille to have Xmas wid us and it was nice ((I thought)) and now they refuse her calls and say they will send HER money but only her, under the condition that she dumps me because I’m holding her back wid all my baggage and my chronic pain and fucked up shoulder and addiction. And I’m black so I’m not right for her anyway 😐 I served these people food in my moms house lmfao.

Mrs kat got dreams of her own here tho she wants to finish her studies and pay off student loans like .. and she wants to be wid me. So her parents like cut her off completely and they stopped sending money a long time ago.

This shit is really fucked up and complex Im just trying to tell u , yeah. It’s been fucking rough. 😣😣😣 I do have a ‘job’ now which is something, I do errands for this like INSANE woman who’s prolly gonna get me arrested but she’s paying me weekly and that’s all that matters. My mom says I need to find something wid a contract immediately and that’s why I need the fundraiser money so we don’t completely become homeless while I search for safer options. I also need to go back to rehab and physio asap because I feel like I’m losing my mind and my benefits only afford medical physio from a shitty fucking clinic like once a month and it’s always full. I’m in pain all the time rn. I got duped into this extremely expensive surgery I’m STILL paying for and now it’s like they don’t care that I still need physio to actually getter better.

My cats are ok 🥹 Chica rejected some medicine for some stomach issues she had and had to back to the vet ((more bills 😭)) and it was scary but she’s back super stable and almost 100%. Calypso is SUPER pregnant, due prolly next month and we want her to have the babes wid us because it’s her first litter and she’s an anxious diva but that’s sm WORK and we’re kinda like NOW??? Ok. But she seems safer wid us, comfortable, and gonna be a real good momma. Chica has been incredible wid her too. They really be taking care of each other.

So yh if u still got some spare change u wanna throw our way my p.aypals is: kt.s.mays@gmail.com . U will also register for my bdays ((august 5th)) first anual ‘supermaks gives back’ where I pick a few of u thru p.aypal to send back my much beloved max merch as a thank u . I know this is dumb but idk what else to do. Idk how that’s gonna work either but I’m excited we’ll figure it out. Y’all been here for me twice now . Makes me wanna cry when I think of it too much.

I appreciate all yalls help wid all my heart. Just knowing there’s strangers out there who still want to c us fight to c another day and do better, bro that’s more meaningful to me than words can say.

I am hanging in there. Thanks to u

God bless u 🤍

[soft-epilogue-continues]

12.22.2023

Not going to lie, it's been a really hard year.

We started off with New Year's Eve 2022 in the middle of the night needing to call an ambulance because my husband couldn't breathe (pneumonia!). He spent the night and day in the ER.

A day or so later my cat started breathing heavily and not acting like his usual self. We took him to the veterinary hospital where he was put on oxygen. The vet could do nothing for him (xrays showed pockets of infection or cancer in his lungs) and so we had to put him to sleep.

A couple of days later my husband went to his doctor for the ER follow up and he had not at all improved so he was admitted into the hospital this time and spent a very shitty three days in there. He now has asthma as a result of the pneumonia that wouldn't go away. And of course we are still paying off his medical bills a year later.

I got into a lot of fights with my mom this year about childcare. She couldn't watch my youngest enough and while I tried to make it work, my performance at work was seen as unsatisfactory.

People treated me terribly at work. Sexism reared its ugly head, not that HR would own up to it though, because of course fucking not.

I was placed on a Performance Improvement Plan (which I'm realizing now I shouldn't have signed, but hindsight is what it is).

At this point followed four months of absolute hell at work. I had to cancel my week long trip to Italy to see my friend in this flailing attempt to keep my job.

It all culminated with me finishing the PIP with lukewarm indications that they might extend it. The feedback I kept getting to my face was that my performance was improving. The feedback that was written in the official documentation was that I was constantly failing. My manager and the HR person who were collaborating on this particular torture would lie and stretch the truth about my performance to paint me in the worst light possible.

I finally quit.

Now two months later I'm still looking for a job. Luckily we have savings but those savings run out in February so I need to get a job soon.

[fluffnflightillustrations]

I just need to get it off my chest.

Another vent post, since this month has been just... terrible, really.

So we were doing well, paying the bills, even making a little extra... then my roomie quit her job on the spot without a backup job on the rear cooker... right before my birthday.

maybe its selfish, but im really frustrated and pissed about it? she got a small job after jobhunting for two or three days and they let her go the next week, so once again, we are out of more than half the bill payments. usually, if i were healthy, i would be able to try to float us for a bit, but im just. not. healthy. at all.

i cannot afford my medication i desperately need to maintain myself, and my paranoia is getting so much worse with all of the stress piling higher and higher. for those unaware, i am diagnosed with PTSD, OCD, GAD, and Psychotic depression... that last one is basically super intense depression, but add on some hallucinations and a lot of paranoia.

I cant get enough sleep and i keep waking up with tachycardia and night sweats and feeling weak and i dont know if its my paranoia as usual or if its actually some new heart condition and its freaking me the hell out

I'm working as much as i can at my new job and i still don't think im going to make ends meet, so I opened commissions but the guilt from being able to finish them fast enough is eating me alive and i feel like im really falling into a huge hole i cannot crawl out of

i want to disappear and hide from it all... i wish it would all just disappear. the world, the bills, the stress, the hallucinations, the anxiety, the loneliness. my entire life. im not going to act on an attempted... unaliving, since ive tried and failed too many times to have any faith in myself to be successful, but im so... so tired. so exhausted.

We had planned a trip to New York, even bought nonrefundable tickets and a hotel a few months back when we were doing well... but im going to have to go and spend the whole time working, and my friends i was going to meet might have to cancel, and honestly.. part of me just doesnt want to go anymore. its hard to feel any excitement for a trip that will just be spent being anxious and feeling guilty for not working in that time period.

My friends are all busy, so i don't have really anybody to get it off my chest to, and then another few friends i suspect of actually hating me, but maybe its my anxiety speaking... im just tired of it all. i want it all to perish

anyways... commissions are open. ill post about it tomorrow probably when i feel better, if i feel better

[contentment-of-cats]

Life comes at you fast.

Finished one porn-for-pay novel, started the second. One every six weeks is the deal. The money paid off a chunk of medical bills.

How my insurance works:

Out of pocket deductible (in network) $7,000

Out of pocket deductible (non network) $15,000

Out of pocket pharmacy (formulary) $2,000

Out of pocket pharmacy (non formulary) ($20,000)

Copay (in network) - $35 PCP, $50 urgent care, $90 specialist, $400 ER unless admitted - all count towards out of pocket.

Copay (non network) full price - all count towards out of pocket

Just had a CT scan - have one every three months. Since I am in the donut hole, this cost me $2,300.

So far I am still in remission. 15 months out of 60 months before they say 'cured.'

Sometimes the nightmares are really bad. Just like my smoking dreams where I can taste the smoke from a Marlboro 100 - like 30 years haven't passed since I quit - I wake up in a cold sweat, sometimes screaming. The bad ones are where the anesthetic isn't working and I can feel them cutting me open, or the ones where I am dying.

I'm glad to be alive, but sometimes I am still so tired.

[kayhi808]

More Than Our Scars - Part 6

Appointments with Dr. Krista Dumont was scheduled by Anvil's insurance company. You can't have an active agent that's mentally unstable, let alone the CEO. At first, meetings with Dr. Dumont were helpful. She taught Bill how to deal with his anxiety. How to deal with his scars.  The old Bill was a vain man. Suits fit perfectly. He kept his body in top shape, hair styled just so, neatly trimmed beard. He was extremely handsome. A failed mission, amnesia, injuries, irreparable facial scarring does a lot to a man's self-esteem & self worth. Lately, she has been asking more about details of the mission itself & what he can remember. Bill has a gut feeling that these weren't normal evaluation questions.

Curiosity got the better of her, "What happened to your hand?"

Bill flexes his fingers & smiles down at his bandaged hand, "Rabid puppy bite."

"You got a pet?" He shrugs but says nothing. "Your scars are healing very nicely." Dr Dumont studies his face & it annoys Bill. "You're almost 6 months into your recovery, Bill. You've achieved a lot in a very short time."

"Wiping my own ass again. That was a real milestone," knee bouncing as he stares at the ceiling of her office.

"We've talked about this. Be kind to yourself. Hang in there."

She rests her hand on Bill's, but before he can pull away, his phone rings. He see's its you calling him, so he gets up and moves away from Dumont. "Hey. (Pause) Nah, I'm finishing up. We started late. I'll get outta here soon. Were you calling for something? (Pause) I can pick it up on the way home. I'll see you in a bit." He shoves his phone back in his pocket. "Are we through here?"

"Bill, you need to take this seriously & participate," irritated because of the interruption or his lack of engagement, Bill couldn't tell. "Your snide comments are not helping you." Nods at his phone, "Who were you talking to?"

"Nobody," slouching down in his chair.

"I ask because you seem very comfortable. Your guard wasn't up. I haven't seen you like that."

"Yea, well. They don't pry & prod at me."

"Is that  how you feel about our sessions?"

Bill emits a soft growl & stands, "I think our hour is up. Thanks, Doc." He gives a lazy salute & leaves the office.

*****

After the debacle that happened in the lobby of Anvil, Billy was able to calm you down & reassure you that he had zero intention of letting any harm come to you. He had a medic over to wrap your ribs to prevent any more damage & to clean the bite you left on his hand. Luckily, no stitches were needed, yet you were filled with remorse. You believe Bill when he promises that he'll make Kingpin pay with his life. You have mixed feelings about that. You've prayed for Fisk's demise, but you don't want a death on Billy's conscience. Unbeknownst to you, your new roommate is a US Marine Corp Scout Sniper with 137 confirmed kills to his name.

Bill comes through the door with arms loaded down with groceries. You walk over "Here, let me help you."

"I got it," giving you an insulted look & angling the bags out of your reach. You follow him into the kitchen.

"Did you have to wait? They were supposed to have everything ready for pick up, " you ask nervously.

Dumping the bags on the counter, "Everything was set. What the hell did you buy?" He see's you tense, "Not that I care. I said you could buy what you needed."

"You lived quite the bachelor life. You don't even have the basics in your pantry. I had to restock."

"You don't need to do this, I'm fine with picking up food."

"I don't mind at all. I enjoy cooking. I used to be a chef before...before," you trail off. You busy yourself with putting things away. Billy gently tugs on your hair as you walk away. He follows & puts things on the higher shelves you can't reach without hurting your ribs.

"So what's on the menu for tonight?"

"You look like a steak & potatoes kind of guy. I figure that was a safe bet until you tell me what you like." Bill breaks into a grin, so you probably guessed right. "I'm sorry too that I interrupted your session with your doctor. I didn't mean to . I didn't want you to return only to go back out again. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I was done. It's too much talking for me."

You smile to yourself because you're not surprised to hear that, "Man of few words." You turn around from the cupboard to find Billy directly behind you, intruding in your personal space, "Shit," the smile falling from your lips.

Billy slowly leans over & brushes his lips across your cheek to whisper in your ear, "I don't always need words to convey what I want." The low almost rumble-like tone makes you break out in goosebumps, your nipples pebbling to aching buds beneath your shirt just by his voice alone. He pulls back slowly & his goatee tickles your neck. You can't help but stare. He smirks & cocks an eyebrow at you. You nod & he buries his hands in your hair & his mouth slants over yours. He hasn't kissed you since that night in his office. You almost thought it was a dream. But this is real. The smell of him. His taste. The way he feels against you. This was all Billy Russo. Your tongue slides against his & he leans into you, pressing his erection against your belly. You moan into his mouth & his kisses become more devouring. He slides his hands under your shirt & stops kissing you. He takes in a ragged breath & rests his head on the top of yours & pulls you to his chest, with his arm hugging you around your shoulders & neck.

"Wh...what's wrong? Why...did you stop?"

His hands glide along your shirt over your ribs. They are still tightly wrapped. "You're still healing. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me." He smiles at you.

"Take a deep breath for me." You can't, because it'll be very painful. You were just in a kiss drunken haze created by Mr. Russo. You want him.

"Maybe if you were really gentle..."

Laughs harshly, "If I...WHEN I  fuck you, I'm going to be far from gentle, sweetheart."  He tilts your chin up and kisses you. “Never say I wasn’t a gentleman.”  Groans, "I need a cold shower."

“I hate you.”

“Soon, darlin’“

“I’m burning your dinner. You’re getting a well-done steak.”

You hear a true laugh from him & minutes later you hear the shower running.

A smile creeps onto your face. He didn’t say IF. He said WHEN.

@idaofinfinity @e-dubbc11 @jvanilly