#i finally fucking talked to my mum abt how i’d been feeling

[rayvern-sheep]

Update on my mental health: I am doing better! Just in case anyone read those concerning posts the past few weeks and was worried.

I have kinda long-winded advice sorta shit under the cut if you are thinking of top surgery but know you don’t deal w/ change well, or have got it but are wondering why you still feel like shit weeks later when everyone else seems to feel better. And then some more rambling in the tags if you’re into that sorta thing.

Oh boy it’s long under the cut… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Some advice: if you have a hard time w/ big change, small change, any kind of change. Be prepared to have a hard time w/ top surgery recovery. The general consensus if you research it is that post-op depression is over by abt the fourth week, and that is actually deemed late by some sources. Many said the second or third week. If you are starting to feel worse after that point it does not mean you made a mistake! Don’t panic!

Even though I wrote several notes to myself before the procedure explaining that I did in fact want this, and I know I am bad w/ change, that did not help me when I was in the pits of a doom spiral. I’m ngl that was genuinely the worst I’ve been mentally in years. I had to ring a suicide hotline at one point because I thought I’d lost the point of life. Talk to someone you trust abt how you’re feeling. I just straight up sobbed into my mum’s shoulder abt how I didn’t understand anything anymore and I was terrified I’d made a mistake getting surgery. She talked me through it and reminded me that I’d wanted this for years, that I didn’t go outside w/out a binder on, etc. She reminded me that everyone deals w/ things at different times, just because most ppl feel perfectly fine by the one month mark it doesn’t mean I would. Then after that I just hung out w/ her. The day after that we went and did some chores outside the house. A little time outside is often a good idea, I do regret to inform you.

I’m not gonna say I’m all fixed and perfect now. I’m still low energy and back to hiding in my baggy hoodies (now I can get them on again yippee!!!) but I’m not pushing myself rn. And I wish I had some good advice other than idk have a good system of loved-ones. If you have a therapist talk to them. Don’t be like me and bottle shit up. I’m so good at bottling shit up that I do not notice smthn is getting bad until I’m at the very bottom of the fucking doom spiral and I look up and see how far I fell down it lmao.

I wrote a whole diff paragraph but deleted it. Better version though is just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Surgery is exhausting, and feeling burned-out even after a month isn’t smthn to be ashamed of. Just focus on keeping yourself sane. If possible take it easy, do things half-assed and low-effort for a while if you can get away w/ it. Just while you mentally catch up to your new stuff.

For some ppl top surgery “fixes” all their problems, but for most it does not. Whatever mental or physical problems you had before surgery, you will still have. Now, my surgeon literally told me surgery would not fix everything. I knew this before going into this, before I even had my first conversation with him, and I still had a bad fucking time mentally. So don’t expect to feel perfect. I was in a weird surreal bubble for the first like 3(?) weeks where I was just physically recovering before my head fucking lost it.

I don’t wanna put anyone off, and tbh worrying abt how bad you’re gonna feel can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I just wanna say that it can get rough. But if it does, you are not alone!!! You’ve not ruined your life, it’s not the end of the world, you still have something to live for. Keep pushing through, take it slow, talk to someone you trust. Try to do things that comfort you and help you feel safe. You’re gonna get through it.

Idk man I just wanted to share my experience on this. Because in my frantic research from the bottom of the pit all I could see were smiling faces saying they felt the best they’d ever felt in their life. It was euphoria all day every day. And the only ppl who weren’t feeling perfect were the ppl unhappy w/ their results. But the thing is I love my results, everything looks as expected. It’s literally how I drew it lmao, couldn’t have gone better. Not to brag sorry. But the point was, nothing was wrong physically. The majority of the physical healing was done, but my brain hadn’t been healing at all during that time. It was just putting itself to the side while the body did it’s thing. And when even proper medical sources are saying that ppl usually start to feel mentally better after the fourth week, and I was actually starting to feel shitty by that point, it rlly made me worry smthn was wrong. I was frantically trying to blame something for what I was feeling. And it was likely a whole mess of shit, with the main culprit being my inability to process change. Dude I freak out when a loved-one gets a tattoo or a piercing or changes their fucking hair. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. It stresses me out. And although I always get over it eventually, I should’ve known that this was gonna happen. After those early weeks of the itchy haze, I totally should’ve known a mental spiral was on the horizon. But I was just so lost in the sauce that was the whole experience.

I would not change the experience of top surgery for the world. I only wish I’d been more prepared for the dive my mental health would take so late in the game. I expected post-op depression. But as I said that’s usually only in the first couple of weeks. So when it didn’t happen I thought I was okay. But oooooo boy. I forgot how slow my brain is at processing shit. And hey, if I did “make a mistake” in getting my tits chopped off. If in the future I’m like “Hey I’m a woman now!” then so fucking what. There are titless women out there, and they’re no less woman than a woman w/ tits so big they break her back. Life is for living so fucking do that. I’ve not butchered or ruined my body even if my gender does change in the future. Get rekt transphobes.

ANYWAY… I think I’ve rambled enough. If I remember smthn I’ll prob add it in a RB cos this post is already long enough now. Thank fuck for the “read more” function. So I can hide all my stupid mushy shit under here and not clog up someone’s dash. Yippee!!

[keira-kaz2y5]

Ok so finally found the time to watch episodes 7x02 - 7x04 with my mum. (I’ve already seen them all at least twice, this was her first watch)

The whole episode I was kinda nervous but super excited.

Can I mention again here that she previously did not ship buddie at all, said me and people these days are “always making things gay when they’re not” and said they were “just friends” and the Ravi Buck Eddie sewer call she reiterated this statement saying “see? They’re just good friends” after buck’s clear jealously, which, fair. Yk it can def be seen as friendship— unless you’re open to the fact characters are allowed to be queer and not stated, and also that he’s been played as bisexual since s1 with sooooo much TEXT and SUBTEXT abt it—

When it finally got to the loft apartment scene I was shocked it had come round so quick (I swear that episode felt longer when I watched it alone), and immediately I felt my heart beating a lot faster in anticipation. At the buck Tommy kiss, to my surprise she reacted by grinning wide smiling like in disbelief and stayed like this until they pulled away and we saw buck’s reaction then she sorta manic laughed at buck’s “that works” I think out of disbelief and shock and amusement at buck’s starstruck reaction, “… Saturday? 🥹🤩”and his joke about fake mouth static.

Then as Tommy was walking out and talking about a date my mum said “that’s gonna make.. Eddie, really… mad.” (She was distracted listening to the rest of the scene and dialog)

😆 so her initial reaction was soooo much better than I’d expected/feared!! (From here it turns into kinda a trauma dump with 911 about I realised I’m so so so repressed.. read at ur own risk lol!)

But then of course I went and fucked it up by getting too excited and blabbing.

(I voice memo recorded this whole scene to get her reaction) she asked me about how “so he’s (buck) saying he thought he was jealous but it wasn’t of Eddie it was of him (Tommy).” And I sorta spiralled saying yeh because that’s how he saw it in that moment because he’s trying to figure out what these new feelings are and who they’re for etc and went down the rabbit hole of Tommy being gay from the start (army, ‘begins’ episodes..) and so on and my mum heard like 4 seconds of this and stood up and collected dishes and stuff and walked away saying I was getting too much into it (fair, my adhd does tend to make me mentally jump subjects fairly quickly in ways it doesn’t make sense to other people)

But she never really has healthy conversations with me about queerness, don’t get me wrong I love my mum and she isn’t like throwing me on the street for saying I’m bisexual, but she also isn’t exactly having healthy conversations about it with me either. She prefers to avoid the conversation a lot and stay silent about it, so the repression is real and tbh I didn’t even realise how repressed I was until about 3rd December 2023 I saw a picture of two women kissing and I fully went “oh shit I’m bisexual, I almost forgot I liked women”. Yeh. The repression is so real.

I then went on a Pinterest spiral downloading women photos and made an album on photos app to put it all in so that I had that place to go to and look and I would never be so repressed that I forgot again. I have since been much happier and more queer and open within myself

(For reference this is the picture)

(This is the photo album - not my photos, all from Pinterest)

(Note: I am a teenage girl)

And the only other time I realised I was repressing it, was on holiday with my auntie that I see like once a year, when she teased me about a girl I’d spoken to from a street vender thing and I realised that “oh this is normal” like, families should tease me and be comfortable about it. (Although they don’t tease me about boys much either so..)

Because my family never feel so open about my sexuality to be that comfortable. Whenever the subject comes up it turns into almost an argument because they think I only think I’m gay because I hung out with two lgbt girls for 3, 4 years and they were my only close friends.

Apparently the gay is contagious 🤣

My Nan is homophobic, she’s “of a different generation” apparently and can’t change. She’s not super bad about it but does make comments like “it’s wrong” so I never really talk about it. My brother had the “my friend is gay so i can’t be homophobic” mentality, and also believes like my mum that im only bisexual because of my old friends.

But fr they don’t say it’s a phase specifically but they sort of play it off like one saying I only “think that” because of them (my friends at the time — who I’m not even friends with anymore)

And one time watching the hen and Karen begins episode with the nasa lab explosion- when we get that make out scene between them, my mum laughed and said she was uncomfortable because it just looked “unnatural” and I know she said this because they were a bit fumbly in the scene, knocking things over and kicking off shoes and both plus sized women, but that reaction has just stuck with me since. Because it’s still a beautiful moment and yes they look different to typical people making out but it’s still sexy and a vibe but also I am a plus sized woman, so yes that could be my future. Another time before this when there were some HenRen scenes in bed my mum said to me “is that what you wanna do, cuddle up to some woman in bed like that 🤨” and I was sooo unprepared for that question and sorta went ‘uh yeh no yeh but not like them two because Hen isn’t my type yk but yes’ and she went 🧐 hm ok 🤷‍♀️

These things have stuck with me

And also when I had a therapist last year the one time I mentioned being bisexual and she that’s something we should talk about I completely shut her down and said it’s fine nothing to talk about and looking back… man I was repressed. Like dayum.

And now I realise I have so much to say.

And the tipping point for all this, is the bi Buck canon, of course. Only 3 days ago but feels like a lifetime already, just the portrayal and the delivery and perfection and sentiment of it all hits so hard, especially the fan reactions, but also actor and director and journalist reactions and everything Tim has had to say on it including Oliver and Ryan interviews. And it’s made me so emotional about it all, I can’t even express how genuinely happy to my core i was the first 2 days every second, and I was dancing around my kitchen, grinning every 3 minutes when I remembered… it was bliss. I felt so seen and happy and loved, appreciated and respected and represented. It’s unreal. Especially the joy and care Oliver has given this.. i can’t explain. It’s so validating.

Within myself I feel much more at peace, and I have realised that in fact I was repressed, and still kinda am.

So bringing it back to the start was that after watching this with my mum I tried to express to her how much this means and the backstory and what’s going on online about it with the directors and actors and everything but I hardly even said a thing and she kept saying how “it’s just a show” “it’s 9-1-1!” “You’re getting too much into this/too attached” even when I tried explaining how queer storylines is something we have to search for to watch in media, and how this will change media from now on and the representation.. she kept walking away, trying to change the subject and invalidating it all saying stuff like

“it’s just a series! You act like it’s a real person!” “You do, you get carried away with it.” “Ok Keira 🙄🚶‍♀️.. yeh! You’re just getting a little far-fucking-fetched” “right… Keira.” “It’s just a show!” Me: “It’s more than a show.” “In your head it is.” “You’re just going on”

Bear in mind I wasn’t actually going into depth, I was stating how this is a big thing and said literally what I’ve written here, like this is 30 seconds of me talking. Because I wanted to have a healthy conversation about it all, but clearly it didn’t work and i should’ve just been happy with the smile reaction and left it at that.

I tried directly pointing out the problem, too, saying that she never wants to have a healthy conversation with me about it all, to which she replied the “it’s just a show/you’re getting too much into it” part and when I addressed that this family is slightly a little bit homophobic but none of them will admit it she was laughing and going “it’s 9-1-1! It’s 9-1-1!” “(I) make it out into some big drama” (I wasn’t raising my voice or anything I just wanted to have a conversation about it with her, she was the one raising her pitch) and how I’m “just taking it all to another level!” Me:‘Because it is at another level, this is so huge for the industry and the queer community’ “oh god, Keira.. you make such big dramas out of it,” (me literally not being dramatic at all, just wanting a nice discussion about this and both the reactions of fans/non-fans/people, how it’s done so well—compared to other storylines and shows— and the impact this will have on so many things) my mum:… “you always twist me to make it out that I’m some horrible person” to which I responded “well no, because you’re not but you could be more healthy about it, you always laugh it off or change/avoid the subject” (me talking about queerness in general, not 9-1-1, to which she replied) “nanna gets like this over Coronation Street! And I just don’t understand! It’s just a show.”

These quotes she said are direct because I audio recorded everything. Probably not in the right order bc the explanation is a little messy what can I say it’s adhd like I said 💅😵‍💫🤷‍♀️😅

Yeh so I guess this is turning into some Reddit thing like AITA am I the asshole for wanting a healthy conversation and for my family to be more comfortable about queerness in general as well as my own (bi)sexuality but also it’s just me expressing how tonight went to anyone who’s stayed to read this. Maybe I should go back into therapy. It’s just my old therapist I never really told her the deep things but also finding someone new that works with me is expensive and exhausting. So it’s been a hard night but I will still rewatch the scene to find happiness in it all again. I just want to wait until I’ve slept it off so I can be fresh and remember the happiness and validity I felt on friday & sat

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 23: PRETTY BOY

emotions run wild when everyone is drunk and hardly coherent. quackity is always loud, but tonight is a full on assault on the senses (the ears, in particular). bretman simps for corpse too much for your liking. rae is happy for once. there’s a confession of love somewhere in there. sister james makes a very good impostor, but that’s old news, the real question is who gave you a knife? a new persona emerges that leaves the roaches quivering in their boots.

─── corpse husband x reader, a lil bit of everyone x reader (because she’s a queen) ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: a lil over 7k.

author’s note: it’s the way i can’t follow a fucking calendar for me. sorry guys, i swear to god i thought i had one more day before thursday . the idiot award goes to me and i accept it with pride. anyway, i was excited to write this for a while! quackity is in mexico, that’s why he drinks, too. my fic, my rules, he’s too funny not to include. im also working on an extra w dream and mr quack so look forward to that, too! hopefully u like this part ily xx and as always lmk wat u think!!

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The outfit for today was picked with care and consideration. Hot, as always- you had forgotten your roots, your hoodie and sweats lay hidden in the bottom of your drawer never to be worn on stream again. You’ve changed. Clout really does that to people. Some viewers, naturally, find your hotness near insulting: how dare you rub your beauty in their faces, and so unabashedly, too?! If only you had a twinge of self-awareness, perhaps you would tone it down. But you don’t, and whether that’s by choice or not is the mystery the whole internet tries to solve (ARMY has been working diligently, and you admire their effort, though in the end their tireless labor brings no tangible results). 

You went from hot to hotter. In all truth, the fires eating away at California can be blamed on you. You carry this burden in stride, in your platform overpriced shoes some girl scammed you on Depop with, in your fishnets, in your skirt, in your corset, in your rings and necklaces and chains. You woke up today and chose violence. Decided your existence will be a plague to the rest of the populace, and meant it (that, maybe, you took inspiration from a certain faceless Youtuber that so happens to be your boyfriend or whatever). You feel powerful. Like you could step on the world and the world would let you. You decide that it’s the way it should always be. 

The smile on your lips informs of nothing good to your quaint, small audience of 40k. You change the lighting in your room from the soft cherry blossom pink to menacing violet. As fitting for a villain.

Perhaps California’s hellish sun has finally purged you of your bubbly, docile nature (arguably, you had never possessed it to begin with); perhaps it’s the forth mimosa you’re mixing as people slowly trickle into the lobby. Who knows?! Not you, definitely. What do all of those boring dead white European philosophers say? Embrace the unknown? Cheers, you’ll drink to that.

In stark contrast to your appearance, your room is a fucking mess. A war-zone of epic anime scale. Everything is scattered, well, everywhere. A perfect representation on what’s going on in your mind, always. You don’t like how people focus on your surroundings-- you’re the main attraction, hello? Are you not enough to sustain them? Must they beg for more?! Totally ungrateful. You shake your head in disappointment, as if a mother scolding her children. 

noooooo! mom pls forgive me i will never ask abt anything ever again T_T

yall looking at the room? lol couldnt be me

feels like im five and my mum just told me i cant eat a pretty rock i found on the pavement:(

You can’t contain your sly grin. Eyes twinkle with a purplish hue, appearing all the more menacing. You tricked them once again, oh how absolutely evil of you. In your blind delight you accidentally spill champagne on your lap.

“-Oop, fuck.” You snort.

why does she sound like goofy 

The scandalous drunk Among Us stream is about to start. You had been eerily silent through the greetings, and those that chose to approach you were met with a cold shoulder and minimal replies. All on purpose, of course. You wish to plant a seed of unease within them, and so far, it’s working. There are questions unanswered, jokes unsaid, Quackity unteased. It breaks your heart, but it must be done. You look into the camera, all vulnerable and devout, as if to say: I’m doing this for you, all for you.

pack it up yandere simulator

idk whats going on but i think im into it?

villain arc villain arc villain aRC VILLAIN ARC

“Hey, guys,” Corpse’s voices rings in your headphones, and not a blink later his astronaut appears in the lobby in a cloud of smoke, “Hi, Y/n.”

More sharp, excited hellos follow after. You merely hum, though give no further reply. As Corpse strays to your side, Charlie steps in in front of him, “BDA access only. You have a permit, bitch?”

“Y/n is being quiet-she’s being quiet, guys!” Quackity helpfully informs, as if the rest failed to notice your cryptic silence, “Don’t be sad Corpse, man, Corpse don’t be-she didn’t say shit to me either.”

“Y/n has decided to not waste her breath on the SDS.” Charlie voices, “And you know what? I actually agree with her for once.”

“SD-what now?” Dream questions.

“The Small Dick Society.” Charlie explains, noting Dream’s whine of protest, “Oh no, don’t give me that shit, weren’t you bitching about not being invited and not belonging to exclusive clubs? Congratulations, you’re finally part of one.”

“Wait!” Quackity interjects, “Am I part of it too?”

“Guess, Sherlock.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Corpse says. You nod to your audience, like he just spoke the God honest truth, and follow in his example. Your tentative sip unexpectedly turns into a greedy gulp, but you’re not complaining. The only slightly coherent thought that rings in your mind is drink tasty.

“Ignore them,” Rae chimes, “Y/n’s probably plotting something and using Charlie as a cover up.”

“I’d never.” The words slip past your lips before you can stop them.

“Well you sure are very quick to deny it.” You can hear her smirking, can hear the proud lilt in her voice, like she caught onto your silly little scheme, like she has you all figured out. Your eyes narrow dangerously. The night behind your window pools dark, with far away city lights glimmering before they, too, seem to dim. 

Your roommate is back on your shitlist. How her name was missed among the rest.

“I’m defending my honor.” You yelp, the playfulness back in your voice along with your sunny smile, “I can’t have my wifey slandering me online. At least do it in private, geez.”

If Rae’s such a good detective, you’ll give her a good chase. Perhaps you’ve been laying it on too thick. Made her too suspicious. She can’t out you yet--not when your plans are so grand, so fun. It would be a waste.

“Why weren’t you saying anything then?” Quackity questions.

“Do I need a reason not wanting to talk to you?” You shoot back. Your friends laugh and he tries to shriek something past their cackle. You lean back into your chair, the tension from Rae’s confrontation finally easing. You wink at the camera and bring a finger to your lips. The roaches swear to secrecy, elated by your wickedness. As appropriate, they spam devil emojis and various renditions of evil hohohos and hehehes. The apple truly does not fall far from the tree. You had raised them well. You raise your glass in solidarity. A few donations fall into your pocket, easily summed up as: make them suffer.

Muting the discord call, you give a single response, “Oh, I intend to.”

i hope this doesn’t awaken something in me

^already too late for me bro

As caught up in wreaking havoc among your viewers as you are, you miss Sykkuno’s entrance, though from what you can tell, Charlie gave a stern warning to back the fuck off to him, too. He’s playing into your plan so beautifully. Truly, you couldn’t do this without him. Back to stalking the chat you go.

Your eyes flicker to the game upon Bretman’s signature drawl and “Hi, daddy.”. You have no time to get offended at Corpse’s sweet “Hi, honey” back, because the next person to join the discord call and the lobby leaves you speechless. You knew, of course, you had been informed of the line-up, but still, you had never expected yourself to be so close to Jomes Chorles himself. You make a weird gesture with your hands, half wave half excited wiggle, as if you’re telling the audience to calm down, when, in fact, it is you that needs calming.

He goes saying his hello’s like doing a public service, name by name, before, lastly, uttering, “Hi, Miss Y/n. Loooove the vids.”

He’s a roach in disguise, who could’ve known?! Your audience is so diverse and unexpected, gosh, you’d shed a tear if the mascara wasn’t so expensive.

“Hi!” You reply with a grin, and it’s genuine this time, a glimmer of your old self, “Hi, I love your videos, too. It’s like, really cool to finally meet you.”

“Oh my God, you too!” Is his enthusiastic reply, “Okay, the energy in the studio today? Love it.”

“Is this all of us?” Quackity asks.

“Sadly.” James says with a note of disappointment.

“HEY!”

“Okay, guys!” Ash chimes, “Let’s do this! Proximity Among Us, round one, go go go!”

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Luck does not shine upon you during the first round- you are stuck as Crew Mate, your life cut short by Bretman who had the audacity to bite your head off. You’re positive Ke$ha wrote her hit single Cannibal about him, and if she didn’t, she definitely had a That’s So Raven moment and predicted it. It’s also insanely suspicious as after you are eliminated he sticks real close to Corpse, feigning innocence (and this is a controversial opinion you do not endorse) better than even you. It wounds your pride, having been picked off so casually, so quickly, and now stuck a ghost you roam the halls of the dying spaceship, lost, confused, heartbroken.

Charlie runs past you, not once even glancing in your direction. “Brother...” You mutter sadly, “Do you not see me here? Do you not feel... the loss of your twin’s heartbeat...?" Damn, these mimosas really are making you emotional. You sniffle and take a sip to calm the storm within you. No rage, just sadness. You are still processing your own tragic demise.

Suddenly, a meeting is called. There’s a horrible red X on your astronaut. You are the only one dead so far, and of course the rest won’t vote out the fucker. How bitterly you sit! With your arms crossed over your chest and your glare sharp enough to cut through glass. Fuck the sad shit, now you’re just angry. At the very least, the second Impostor could’ve given you some company!

“I knew something felt off.” Charlie is first to speak.

“Who the fuck killed Y/n?” Corpse questions, and his voice ignites a whole discussion that lasts much too short. The others skip, having no suspect yet. It’s much too soon to start pointing fingers, but you still feel like they should have at least tried. Pouting, you fix yourself another drink.

“Stop drinking!?” You gasp, exasperated at your chats demands, “I’m dead! What else should I do, the tasks?! Nah, fuck that. I’m done. I’m out. Charlie better employ his fucking detective skills because if the Impostors win, I will literally quit the game--yes I will, no I’m not bullshitting, fucking watch me.”

Thankfully, Bretman was caught venting, and you didn’t have to end the stream prematurely. The second Impostor, your roommate (oh, the betrayal, Rae, how could you?!) was voted out due to Corpse’s suspicion. Victory to the Crew Mates! The game restarts and you find yourself back in the lobby.

“Miss Y/n,” Bretman says, “I am sooo sorry for killing you first, baby. It was just too easy. I couldn’t pass it up.”

Giggling, Quackity chimes, “Sister slaughtered.”

“Oh my God,” James groans, “shut up!”

“Yeah, Y/n.” Charlie speaks, and there’s an accusatory note in his calm voice, “Why the fuck did you allow yourself to be eliminated first? Real noob shit, I expected more of you.”

“HUH?!” You frown, “What’s with the victim blaming?! I literally was doing my task and Bretman snuck up on me. It’s not like I had a weapon to defend myself!”

“You have been avenged,” Corpse states, “and that’s all that matters.”

“Thank you, Corpse!” You say, “At least someone cares.”

“Hey, I helped, too!” Dream pipes up.

“No, you didn’t.” Corpse shoots him down, “I was the only one.”

“You were not--”

“Literally was. Isn’t that right, Sykkuno?”

“Uhhhh-” Sykkuno trails off, “Well, we-we all helped!” You can hear his shy smile, and you just know he’s bobbing his head up and down at this exact moment, “We all helped. Team work!”

“Team work!” The rest echo, save for yourself, Corpse, Charlie, and the two Impostors. Silence speaks more than a thousand words or whatever. You pray to any higher power willing to listen to finally assign you the role of the villain, the one you were born to do. 

Sadly, higher powers must have either shitty customer service or are in need of hearing aids, and you almost scream in frustration when your astronaut appears along with the others, the bold CREW MATE title chipping away at your master plan.

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“Hey, Y/n, hey! Hey, Y/n!” Rae finds you in Cafeteria, where you, metaphorically, are eating your feelings. Not that she needs to know, of course. She sounds chipper, a bit ditsy, and that must mean she’s sufficiently tipsy. You store that information for later, and forget about it as soon as you notice Dream and Sykkuno, like her very own personal bodyguards, trailing after her, “Wanna play a game?!”

“Is this Saw?” You inquire, somewhat lazy. You’d be lying if you said the alcohol wasn’t affecting you, it’s just instead of making you bubbly, it makes you mellow. This was supposed to be fun, you were supposed to terrorize everyone and laugh as they perished by your hand, yet here you are, wallowing in self-pity. The roaches start worrying. The donation jingle chimes.

BEATINGS & SLUTATIONS yns_fishnets donated 5$ mom just wait it out & dont worry youll get your vengeance soon lead them on!!!!

Your fishnets have a point! 

“Saw?--No, no, haa, no it’s a drinking game.” Dream sounds like he has had one too many rounds of this mysterious game, and naturally, you are intrigued.

“Where we drink!” Sykkuno clarifies. Right, well that explains everything! If you had any questions, you surely have none now.

“Okay, so, name a category, and you have to, like, say a word associated with it...Or something along those lines.” You hadn’t even agreed and Rae is explaining the rules already. She knows you too well. It’s both a blessing and a curse, “Can be anything! Okay, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n start!”

“Uhh--” If only your brain computed as fast as she spoke! “Song lyrics! Wait--who drinks?”

“You fail, you drink!” She hurries, “Choke me like you hate me but you love meeeeee. Syk, go, go go!”

“Uhm, ah, I don’t wanna feel like this, uh, fuck?” He laughs--it’s a raspy, embarrassed little sound, “I don’t...wanna look like this? Dream, now you!”

“Wait, we’re singing Corpse’s songs?”

“Any song!” You urge him quickly, “Hurry! Or drink!”

“She say I kill her cat like I'm Luka Magnotta--”

“Hey! That’s cheating! You can’t use my song!” Rae protest.

“That wasn’t in the rules!” He counters.

“Y/n! Time’s running out!” Sykkuno exclaims.

“Oh, uh, will-will the real Slim Shady please stand up!”

NOT EMINEM WHAT THE FUCK

MOOOM WHT THE HELL THIS ISNT 2008 T_T

“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine--”

“All...All the other kids with the pumped up kicks better, uhh, run better run, faster...-faster than my gun?”

“Uhh, shit--fucking hell.” Dream laughs, and Rae practically screams at him to keep going, “Alright! Okay! I’m singing--uh, you’re so golden, na na na na?”

“I tell you what a woman loves most,” You chime gleefully, “it’s a man who can slap but can also stroke.”

finally, the mother mother representation we’ve all been waiting for

i aint exactly gay but i aint exactly not gay >:)

the bis won

“I steal a few breeeeaaaths from the woooorld for a minute--”

“Mitski?!” You question, eyes bulging, “Baby, who hurt you?”

Even if you can’t see her, you know she’s waving her arms around and shaking her head, “Not the point! Sykkuno!”

“Uh, I-I, uhm, I don’t--”

“Drinnnnk!” You all chorus. 

“It was a good concert,” You say, “Syk, I’ll drink with you.”

“Thank you, Y/n. That’s very kind of you.” He says softly, with a smile lining his lips. You grin.

“Oh, fine. Everyone, bottoms up!” Rae decides, and no one protest. A moment of silence passes, then, “Well, GG, GG, let’s do some tasks?”

Your enthusiastic Ariana Grande-esque “yuh” is cut short by the second meeting of game two being called. The first one to go had been Ash, voted out during a bathroom break as a joke, and you still feel a bit bad about that. Now, you notice Charlie has been eliminated. A sense of righteousness fills you--while you mourn for your brother from another mother and father and family tree, you feel like this is divine punishment for slandering you before the start of this round. Karma. Nothing much is discussed, and the meeting ends shortly with everyone skipping. 

You spend a good ten minutes wandering around with Dream, who’s mission appears to be convincing you to join his Minecraft server, and really, there was no need for him to try so hard. You failed to provide him with a concrete answer only because it would've been to humiliating to admit that you agreed instantly upon hearing the word Minecraft.

That’s when things get fucking weird. Another meeting is called whilst you’re in the middle of fixing lights, and once the board with the members appears you audibly gasp. There had been 8 living, breathing astronauts rushing around the map, and now only 4 remain. You, Corpse, James, and Alex. 

“What the fuck--what the fuck?!” You screech alarmed, noting Dream being among the perished crew, “I was just with Dream fixing the lights, I was just with him, what the fuck--”

“Okay, no one panic.” James says, “Let’s figure this out. Okay? Okay. Who else is close to Electrical?”

“I’m at Nav.” Quackity says.

“I’m at Cafeteria, but Y/n--” Corpse starts, “kinda weird that Dream died when you were with him?”

“I didn’t fucking kill him, I swear to God, Corpse, why are you accusing me?”

“Don’t be so defensive.” He says smoothly, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. We all have a reason to be sus, no? Considering you were right with him.”

“...It is suspicious.” James agrees, and a part of you dies inside. You understand their hesitance to trust you, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

“Guys, I didn’t kill him, I swear. He invited me to play Minecraft, I wouldn’t do that to him, not after that!”

Corpse merely hums, and it brings no comfort what’s so ever. The situation is spiraling, and not in your favor. Trying to salvage your chances at freedom, you try again, “Wh-James, James, you called the meeting, right?”

“Yeah, I found Rae’s body near Medical.”

“So I couldn’t have killed her and Dream at the same time!” You latch onto that piece of information, hoping it will save you.

“You could’ve vented.” Corpse points out, “Plus, there’s no telling how old the body is.”

“Killing five fucking people? It’s the work of one person, or else the game would have already ended. As it stands, I am no way sober enough to think all of this out.”

A brief silence hangs in the air; your lungs constrict from tension, from spilling words so hotly. You grasp your glass, as if for emphasis, and take a shy sip. It taste sweet, a bit too sweet for your liking. Must be your nerves. You drink again to wash the taste out of your mouth, which, surprisingly, doesn’t work. You whine a little, stomping your feet like a child about to throw a temper tantrum.

“...I believe her.” Quackity says. You breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Alex, thank youuuuuu!” You gush, batting your lashes as if he could somehow see you and that would somehow portray your innocence, “I knew I liked you for a reason!”

He mutes his mic, his spill of words lost to your ears, but chat helpfully informs that he’s screaming because you don’t hate him. 

y/n out here collecting men like pokemon cards

Now all that’s left is to convince the others. You start with the one you know will work, “Corpse,” You address him in your sweetest voice.

“Y/n,” James warns, “don’t you dare--”

“Baby, I didn’t kill anyone, I’m crew mate, you gotta believe me.”

“She's innocent.” Corpse declare, thoroughly convinced.

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking simp!” James laughs, “She’s obviously manipulating you!”

“No, no, she isn’t. She’s innocent, I agree with Quackity. Now, it’s either you or him.”

“Could be you for all we know!” Alex accuses.

“Guys, time’s running out.” You mutter fretfully, noting the seconds tick by from white to red. 

“I’m voting Alex.” Corpse says.

“What?! Fucking traitor! Fine, I’m voting for you.” Alex hisses.

“Ugh, hate agreeing with Quackity, but I’m also voting Corpse. Sorry, hon, nothing personal.” James says. The VOTED icons pop up beside their characters and you panic, pressing your mouse idly but it’s too late, there wasn’t enough time, and you cry as Corpse is thrown into lava. The chat spams F, and it feels like salt on a fresh wound.

In a second you’re back in Cafeteria, shell-shocked and trembling, and Quackity cusses because the Impostor is still among you. His frustration doesn’t last long as you watch in horror as Jams Chortles, beauty guru supreme, murders the only other crew mate in cold blood and all you can do is gape and let his cheerful laughter fill your ears. The screen bleeds red, informing of Impostor victory, the second one being Ash. Looks like you voted her off for the right reason, but little difference did it make.

“Corpse!” You yell past the cacophony of voices, all in varying forms of excitement or anger, beelining for his in-game figure, “Corpse, I’m so sorry, I panicked, I tried pressing the button but I wasn’t quick enough--”

“It’s alright, baby. Don’t worry about it.” He’s so calming, so gentle, you might burst into tears again. What did you do to deserve him? You wish he was with you so you could smother him in a hug. Alas, all you can do now is say “I kith you, mwah!” and rush to the other side of the lobby, as if to hide from such a bold display of affection, even if it was a joke (it wasn’t).

yall say corpse simps for y/n but the reality is y/n simps for corpse harder

queen stop its embarrassing

bhaddies can simp!! i wouldnt but its her choice <3

More deliberations, commentary, and short breaks. Once everyone has returned, the countdown starts. You’re still reeling from the chaos of emotions, the five stages of grief you experienced in 1 second upon Corpse’s unjust demise, that it takes you a moment, a single heartbeat to realize what you’re seeing on screen.

The letters IMPOSTOR hang above your astronaut, with Dream standing just behind you as your newly appointed partner in crime. And suddenly, all the sadness and the tenderness and sympathy vanish with a curt exhale. You slowly turn your head to the chat, muting the Discord call, your soft chuckle of disbelief turning into a full blown laugh.

it’s happening!!!! 

omg omg omg omg

VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC VILLAIN ARC

You slap your palm over your lips, trying to contain your wicked smile, to tone down your broken giggles, “N-No, I can’t laugh yet,” shaking your head softly, you look into the camera, “they’re all going to die.”

pack it up light yagami

this has awoken something in me.

^ same

The crew mates go their own ways, rushing to do their tasks like the diligent little workers they are. How adorable. Their grim fate is still miles away from them. The shit you’ll pull will be for the history books. Much like your outfit, which you picked keeping in mind your newfound thirst for blood, you had devised your plan of action with care and consideration. You had been mulling it over all day, drawing on paper like the absolute madwoman you are; hell, you even made sticky notes on who to go for first and what to say. Sure, being moderately drunk hinders your memory slightly (an understatement of the century), but you got a feel for what you’re going to do. It’s nothing short of evil.

Dream and you don’t exchange words, you merely nod at him-- which he, of course, can’t see-- but your criminal bond enables telepathic communication. You can hear his thoughts, ones that strangely sound like drink drink, drink drink. And really, who are you to refuse such an enticing offer?! As he fucks off to stalk his victims, or play pretend, you take a sip. The cocktail is still sweet, but this time it’s not the icky sweet you had tasted prior. You glance at your sticky notes, ones the roaches can’t see, and nearly spill your drink for the second time today as you jerk.

“Fuck!” You exclaim, shoving your headphones off and spinning in your chair. You hastily stand up, wobble -- the world is pleasantly funny right about now -- and giggle. Stepping past the mountains of abandoned clothes and pillows and blankets and anime plushies, you maneuver your way to your bedside table and yank it open, nearly taking out the whole drawer with you. In the mess of old diaries and bad drawings, pencils, jewelry, and stickers, you fish out something you should not be wielding in your inebriated state.

It’s a knife.

In midst of teenage angst you had ordered it off of Amazon with your mom’s credit card, all the while whining that it’s not a phase, mom, and it’s what all of my cool kid friends with fried hair have, and don’t you want me to fit in, don’t you want your daughter to be happy?! You think it’s about that time, the time of too much uneven eyeliner and black eye shadow, that she took to calling you little raccoon. Trash rabbit was your personal favorite, but she used it sparingly. When you presented your Macy’s outfit, holding up a fucking butterfly knife, to your dad, asking if it was a look, he glanced up from some boring business magazine all boring business dads read and said, with a bright smile might you add, “It’s a something!”.

Oh, how it gleams in the lilac light. You used to do tricks with it, back in eight grade maybe, and--what the fuck? Why did you parents allow you to buy it in the first place? Well, because you’re the only child, the only one important, of course they got it for you and clapped enthusiastically at your performances, because why wouldn’t they? The whining they’d face otherwise would’ve been harder to endure than a whole dance number to Panic! At The Disco’s greatest hits. Broadway looked so fucking shabby in comparison. Your mom said so, so it must be true.

Stumbling back to your extremely confused viewers, you take your seat, feeling a bit more grounded now that you’re not standing on your platform shoes anymore. Putting on your headphones, you grin at the chat that starts swimming, and not from too much drinking either. You do a quick flick of your wrist, one that thankfully doesn’t end in injury, and the sharp tip of the exposed knife points upwards, glimmering. It’s a rainbow colored one, because one, it’s pretty, and two, you weren’t hardcore enough for the jet-black or straight up military ones the other emo kids had. Cute and dangerous, just like you.

So you just sit there, holding it up, looking somewhat sly as the roaches capture this momentous moment with screen-caps. Someone definitely clipped you trudging past the obstacle course to obtain a weapon of mass destruction. You must be already trending on Twitter, though you can’t exactly log on and confirm your suspicions. You just feel like you might be, like you should be, because your audience wouldn’t let this slide. Thankfully, your friends don’t have time to check social media, or you’d be outed in an instant.

“Y/n?” Your roommates voice booms from your headphones, and you perk up with a stupid realization that you completely forgot about Among Us. Stuck at the start, at the lobby where Dream had left you, you see her astronaut waddling to you, “What are you doing here? Wait--Have you not moved from the beginning?” She can barely finish the sentence without giggling. 

You grin, “I was looking for something.”

Your voice is soft, too calm for your usual frantic spill. You gently set the knife down, hand coming to rest on your mouse, fingers idly, slowly, bouncing on the buttons.

“...What were you looking for?” She’s none the wiser, the numerous drinks consumed tonight numbing her sharp mind. She would have noticed. Your eerie composure would’ve given it away in a heartbeat, or at least hinted at something being objectively wrong. But she sounds curious. Poor girl, hasn’t she heard? Curiosity killed the cat.

“A knife.”

“A knife?!” There’s something about her tone that implies a mental clicking, the puzzle pieces falling together, “You have a knife?!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

You think it would only be appropriate that the random sequence of killing animations renders the backstabbing one. You grin, biting your lower lip with a quiet snicker.

i love women

if evil bad...why seggy?

You take your time leaving her there -- in true serial-killer-to-be fashion, you stick around for a bit longer, admiring your handiwork, or more like the chat singing your praises. You joined today with the intent of making an interesting stream. You have no doubt in your mind that now it will be legendary.

You move down the hallway, and you let your imagination wander: you can almost feel the stuffy air of your helmet, can almost hear your loud footsteps echoing in all this hush, can almost see your reflection in the spotless tile floor. It’s not long before your second victim makes an appearance, running circles in Cafeteria. You hear his voice first before you see him, recognizing Alex by his unhinged screech of “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s goooo!” 

“And what’s got you so excited?” How cool and collected you are, gosh, you barely contain the quiver of excitement that threatens to slip out. 

“Y/n!” He exclaims, rushing to your side like a lost puppy--he’s really making this easy for you, he’s not even trying, “You just missed--Oh my fucking God, you just missed James, he-he called me tall, he called me fucking tall! Let’s go, let’s gooooo!”

“Well, you are tall, aren’t you?” You chime sweetly, almost as sweet as the drink that lingers on the tip of your tongue, “Real 6′3 energy, no?”

“Yes, yes, exactly! You get it, you fucking get it--” Once again, his mic goes mute, and you glance at the chat for help.

hard to transcribe what hes saying but hes taking shots and yelling that he loves you good job mom

hey, queen! girl, you have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it flawlessly

mom plz dont kill alex hes too cute hes all uwu rn

Oh, how you’re about to break his poor little heart. If you had any good left in you, you’d spare him. You don’t, and you’re not taking requests at the moment, so all you do is smile at your chat and they know. They just do. Hive-mind shit, you’re all two-faced little fuckers.

You giggle, and it sounds a tad fake, “You’re so weird, Alex,” You start, and he’s back in the call, a sound of confusion echoing in your ears, “but I get it, you know. You’re weird. You’re a weirdo. You don’t fit it, and you don’t want to fit in. I mean, really, has anyone even seen you without your stupid hat?”

“...Do--” He sputters, bellowing a laugh, “Do you have that whole fucking monologue memorized?!”

“Is it because you’re bald?”

“I’m not fucking bald!” His giddiness is quickly replaced by anger.

You hum, pretend to think, lastly barking a “Liar.” before you kill him. His scream is cut off, leaving only deafening silence at it’s wake. Unlike with Rae, you don’t stick around. You didn’t appreciate how little he enjoyed your recital.

You run into James near Navigation, most likely on his way to Cafeteria. He ends his song mid-note, and you breathe a sigh of relief, “Finally! Someone! I’ve been looking all over, where the hell is everyone?” You question, blocking his way, lest he accidentally stumbles onto the crime scene and easily pins it on you. You’re not done yet.

“Honestly? No clue. I’m searching for them myself, like, everyone’s scattered. I hope no one died.”

You smile. You tried not to, but you can’t contain it, “Me, too.” You echo the sentiment, urging him to join you, and he does. Too trusting. Everyone in this game is too fucking trusting. You lead him back to Nav, feigning that you have a task here. As you pretend to move the spaceship, you can’t help but ask, “Hey, James?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

A beat of silence passes, “Oh no, fuck that, I don’t like this at all.” He states, about to spin on his heel and bolt like he should do, but you’re quicker-- killer instincts and all-- and he’s dead before he makes it out the doorway.

“See, after your No More Lies video, I figured you’d only tell the truth.” Yes, this is the part of the anime where the villain monologues, only the hero in this case is an astronaut cut in half, and not exactly alive to listen to you. You hope James’ ghost sticks around, “Case in point, why the fuck did you tell Quackity he’s tall?” You eye the chat, which’s mostly spamming W and comparing you to Ryo from Devilman Crybaby. “Such a shame...” You murmur, pressing the REPORT button.

“What?! How are so many people dead?!” Ash gasps, her kind voice tinted with fear and confusion. Your three kills, like military stars on an uniform of a distinguished officer, are displayed on the board. Dream appears to be slacking, having yet to take a life.

“Someone’s been real fucking busy.” Charlie observes. It’s true, you have been.

“I found James in Nav, but holy shit--” You begin, exasperated, “--what the fuck, guys, how did we miss this shit? Where is everyone?”

“I’m at Electrical.” Corpse voices.

“And I’m with Corpse.” One sentence is all it takes to figure out your next target: Bretman. Revenge for being killed first in the first goddamn round, and for spending so much time with your boyfriend.

Eep!!! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!!! The word even makes you forget your thirst for blood, that’s how whipped you are. Sadly, it’s time to return to reality, to this grave situation.

“And what have the two of you been conspiring?” You keep your tone level, but that alone is enough to set everyone off. The unease you had planted within them before the game started is starting to bloom. However, if they suspect you, they don’t speak up, not yet.

“Fishnets, mostly.” Corpse says.

only partly a lie he was mostly talking abt u queen <3

corpse simping for y/n is the sweetest thing ever

the times corpse used y/ns name when talking abt y/n: 1. the times he used baby or my baby: infinite

“I’m wearing them right nyoooow.” Bretman drawls.

You hum, “What a coincidence. I am, too.”

“Wait--For real?” That seems to catch Corpse’s attention, because of course it does, you picked them with him in mind, after all.

“No peeping.” You tsk, obviously referring to his tendency to hop onto your stream unprompted. Whether he actually listens to your demands is beyond you, “Peeping means cheating.”

“For the love of fuck all, can we get back to the three dead bodies, please? Because I’m about to have a second coming of Christ moment and taste my consumed, digested beer for the second time.” Charlie interjects.

“I mean, anyone have any ideas who’d do this?” Dream takes hold of the conversation. Quiet, disappointed nos greet him. They have nothing to go on, no clues, not even a subliminal message. With everyone scattered, there is no way of locating the actual bodies and drawing a long red trail leading back to you. 

You’re too good at lying, and Dream is too good of a publicist. People tend to trust his judgement, which is his main asset (besides his calm demeanor of course). When the Among Us gods chose you as Impostor, they made sure you had every advantage. 

“Who-Who do you think it is, Dream?” Ash questions, “I trust you. I do. Just know that.”

“No fucking clue.”

“Y/n?” She tries again.

“Same. I’m a bit worried, though.”

“Let’s, uhhh, let’s skip?” Sykkuno offers. The consensus is to start voting at six. Your new mission is to make sure you dwindle the numbers down drastically before that can happen. You have no qualms about sacrificing Dream in order to meet your goals, either. Absolutely cold blooded.

Back at Cafeteria, there are words exchanged about Quackity’s body just laying there, forgotten. Blame is shifted: how come we didn’t notice sooner? Where’s Rae? And you mindlessly go along with their mourning, not really paying attention. Dream leaves with Charlie and Sykkuno, Corpse requests you stay with him and you sprout fake apologies. Not his time yet. Us girls need to stick together!, you sing, following after Ashley and getting further and further away from him, going deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of the spaceship.

You find yourself in Security with her, her cute astronaut pressed to the cameras, watching the live feed, “Let’s lurk here, okay? Maybe we’ll see something.” If only she saw who was standing behind her. 

“Who do you think is the Impostor?” You ask, standing in the doorway, “Or, more like, who are the Impostors?”

“Honestly?” She ends her word with a little sigh, “I think it might be Corpse and Bretman. I haven’t seen them at all this game.”

You smile, raising your brows, tilting your heard, and you sound so kind, like a dear old friend about to deliver a tender message, “...Have you seen me?”

“SHIT!”

Too late. In one smooth motion she joins the afterlife. You cut the lights, venting mindlessly till you spot Corpse and Bretman panicking in Weapons. Your existence is still a mystery to them.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck--” Corpse mumbles, “Bretman, don’t you dare fucking kill me right now.”

“I’m not Impostor!”

“Okay, I’ll drink to that.”

They rush out of Weapons, most likely on their way to Electrical, and you trail after them like the Grim Reaper itself, biding your time till you can deliver the killing blow.

“Corpse?!” You call out, mild panic ringing in your voice, “Is that you?”

“Shit, Y/n? Where are you?” He questions. Crew vision is so sad, so small, how can he not see you standing almost right next to him? “Where’s Ash?”

“I dunno,” You say, “when the lights went out I ran. Please don’t kill me.”

“I’d never do that, baby.”

Too easy. They’re all too fucking easy. You bite your lower lip, trying to stop the laugh bubbling in your chest, to stop the lightheaded dizziness that overcomes you with a rush of excitement. 

“Thanks, pretty boy.” You mutter, and it sounds a bit lower than you intended, a bit darker, something sinister lurking underneath cotton candy words. It instantly clicks in Bretman and he makes a noise, something like a whine, and you see him backing away, “I know I can always trust you.” 

Whether Corpse notices the odd shift in tone, he doesn’t show it, “I like it when you call me that.” Is all he says, and you hear the smile in his voice, the appreciation. The trek to Electrical is all but forgotten. You slowly make your way to Bretman, “Where are you? Come here.”

“Just a minute,” You say cheerily, “I just need to kill Bret first.”

“Holy shit.”

“N-” Your victim’s sentence is cut off in a second, and you can’t contain your manic cackle this time, because the screen bleeds red, the words VICTORY splattered on it, depicting yours and Dream’s sneaky astronauts. You’re still laughing as the voices of your fallen friends ring in your ears.

“Y/n, what the fuck, you’re an actual monster.” Dream says, but there’s no actual weight behind his words, each syllable punctured with a laugh.

“I knew the second she asked me about my favorite scary movie that I’d get the chop.” James states.

“Wait, Y/n, did you kill everyone?” Corpse questions.

“She fucking did!” Dream answers for you, “I got Charlie and Sykkuno, and barely at that. What the fuck.”

“I’ve been waiting so fucking long for this.” You admit, giggling, raising you glass, “I toast to you, Dream. My perfect partner in crime.”

“I didn’t really do shit, but cheers.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh, “Y/n, Y/n, you don’t actually think I’m weird, right? Right?”

“No, she does.” James chimes.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVER DO TO YOU, DUDE?!”

More commotion, more noise, and you just sit there, buzzed, snickering, reading the chat as the rest agree to play another round. You thank the people who donated that you had accidentally missed among the, you know, murder, reply to a few questions, bow dramatically to the many praises and invisible flowers you receive for such beautiful assassin work. When you look back at the screen, you throw your head back with a maniacal laugh.

Impostor again, only this time it’s with Charlie. Family bonds are often restored when united under a common goal. You’re so happy. So happy. You weren’t done terrorizing your friends yet.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos​ - @fairywriter-oracle​ - @tsukishimawh0re​ - @ofstarsanddreams​ - @bbecc-a​ - @annshit​ - @leahh19​ - @letsloveimagines​ - @bellomi-clarke​ - @wineandionysus​ - @guiltydols​ - @onephootinfrontoftheother​ - @liamakorn​ - @thirstyfangirl​ - @lilysdaydreams​ - @pan-ini​ - @mxqicshxp​ - @tanchosanke​ - @yoshinorecommends​ - @flightsandfantasy​ - @liljennyx3​ - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible​ - @sinister-sleep​ - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat​ - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit​ - @unstableye​ - @simonsbluee​ - @shinyshimaagain​ - @ppopty​ - @siriuslystupid​ - @crapimahuman​ - @ofthedewthesunlight​ - @mythicalamphitrite​ - @artsyally​ - @corpsesimpp​ - @corpsewhitetee​ - @corpse-husbandsimp​ - @hyp-oh-critical​ - @roses-and-grasses​ - @rhyrhy462​ - @sparklylandflaplawyer​ - @charbkgo​ - @airwaveee​ - @creativedogs​ - @kaitlyn2907​ - @loxbbg​ - @afuckingunicornn​ - @fleurmoon​ - @yeolliedokai​

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[thisdreamplace]

Im sad nd m feeling hopeless byond woeds. i feel directionless , alone nd..... very upset about everything in my life

Like yesterday i tried to talk to my mum abt somethng that was bothering me nd instead, she gets so much madder like she has high bp and her bp went up from yelling the crud outa me, like the only explanation other than eiyoo is she got defensive nd felt i was being ungrateful, i mean everyone else in the family stays silent and dont step forward i feel abandoned sometimes like maybe they're secretly glad shes not mad at them? Im sick of feeling this way. Idk if u know this feeling? Im not talking abt her my mum but i mean abt life in general? One real reason my mum is harsh is cuz im not doing well in life, like im not going places i want to (not literal places like metaphoricaly) bcuz of fear and social anxiety that no one ariynd me has a teeny idea of what its like. So im aware that she wants the best for me cuz i understand the everyone is u cincepf a bit. Even then its been years of same things nd issues repeating with me. For example m feeling like im gonna crack one day and when i break forever i don't even want to pick up my pieces!

Im so happy to hear ur doing wonderfully. Nd a part of me felt angry at it for a short while lol honestly like how come things are effortlesly going for u as u say, why cant i how can i experience it too, even tho my inner place is a nightmare place 😆 not a dreamplace like urs. I actually lov ur blog nd you lol dont mind me im just throwing out my thoughts, nd I fully understand how things weren't easy for u in the beginning nd everything u say on ur blog. Wish i could be brave nd not in my mind only

💀 nightmare place

i feel sad that you feel so down because life seems like its against you and you're feeling hopeless. its truly the worst to be in that sort of mindset, and i truly know you can find your way out of it. i'm glad you felt safe throwing out your thoughts here.

the truth of the matter is... the law can be difficult in the way that you really have to be willing to take responsibility for yourself. you really have to be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself. you really have to be the one to pick yourself up and say, "enough is enough, i cant live like this anymore — i have to do better for myself." the truth is you have to want it more than you want to stay in your comfort zone. because if you dont, your comfort zone will always be waiting to invite you back in. and you will always answer the call. i would know, i lived like that most of my life. because the old way of life is comforting, its what youve always known so it makes more sense to you. you rationalize it, "this is the way things have always been." well guess what. it doesnt have to be that way. but i cant make you change your mind. only you can take that leap of faith.

you have to be willing to change before anyone and anything else does. no more waiting for life to treat you better so that you can finally feel good, you have to feel better with or without the help of the 3D.

when you say it made you angry to see how i'm doing well, i understand. i used to be similar. success stories were bittersweet. i felt happy for the person, but upset that i couldnt relate. why was everyone else able to make the law work in weeks and yet it had been months for me, and things just didnt seem to work ? why me ? that's the way i used to think.

well one day you'll look back at this type of moment and it'll all make sense. you seriously cannot keep being the same person, thinking the same thoughts and same feelings you have for years, thinking you'll get a new result. it's the opposite of what the law teaches us to be true. you've got to change and i mean really change. you must let the old story die and let the new story become your life, entirely.

you can brush off my struggle easily, but realize this. everyday i wake up and make the conscious decision to wake up and have a beautiful experience. a month ago i literally hit rock bottom; everything in the 3D i cared about so much seemed to fall apart. and i had to face that and still find the strength to say, "you know what, fuck this — i can't keep living this way." without the help of the 3D i had to pick myself up everyday, even when i felt like crumbling. i had more than my fair share of crying all day, of feeling like my heart would literally come out because of how hard i cried. considering that maybe life isnt for me after all, and perhaps i would be better off ending it there. i didnt have anything in the external world to give me hope. i had to find hope within myself. i had to look at a world that made me feel so ugly and decide its actually a beautiful world, despite the illusion. i had to take the law seriously, i had to surrender to the teachings, i had to make the art of imagining a daily practice because i decided i deserve better. and only i can give that to myself. the world cannot provide me with anything i refuse to provide myself with — this is the basics of the law. and through persistence, through not giving up on myself on the hard days, i am now singing a much more beautiful song.

when you fully accept that 1) imagining creates reality and 2) you are the only cause for all you experience... it becomes difficult to not take this more seriously. because you know how whatever you are/have within, is your experience. but you have to surrender to those truths, its up to you. i'd recommend listening to the podcast 'feeling twisty' if you're interested in what i'm saying here. mike is really the one who's explanation of the law helped me learn the importance of taking responsibility for my inner world.

im rooting for you sweet, dream place. behind the illusion of the nightmare, a dream awaits. 💖

[reversecreek]

lily for magda (thinking about figs feeling evil), tulip for cricket, marigold for ziggy, chrysanthemum for bradley, belladonna for nyla

lily :   how does your muse view their mother ?  

magda doesn’t know a lot abt her mum. she knows vague snippets n details bt they’re all very elusive. it’s kind of a tricky subject where her mum’s concerned bc when she was younger she’d come up w all these assumptions abt how her mum was n who she’d be if she were with her but the rational part of magda was like..... u don’t know any of this. ur literally making things up. it’s kind of hard for a kid to have that vital person missing from their life n to resist the urge to fill in the blanks with their own projections so the space feels less empty. it’s like having a tooth missing n ur tongue always going back to poke at the spot in ur gum. there’s a constant reminder of loss in that. magda knows her mum liked to sing bc her dad said once she’d always sing to her belly when she was pregnant. this is a lot of the reason why magda has always cared so much abt music bc she took this fact in her fist n grasped it tight n never let go n in a way grew parts of herself around it. it’s like............. i feel like her mum dying in childbirth gave her lots of issues when it comes to her identity n like. who she is n who she wants to be.......... bc of magda’s issues w her dad i feel like she got into this habit growing up of rly putting who her mum could have been on a pedestal n basing everything around that.... she’d be like I’m More Like Her (a belief which was only accelerated bc her dad would drunkenly say she looked so much like her) n cling onto that so she liked herself more bc the other option was her dad who she loves but he’s also an incredibly flawed person n they hv a complicated relationship...... i think as she’s gotten older she’s realised her mum cld very well have been that way too n putting people on pedestals isn’t the way to go about things but. idk. as a kid she was kind of obsessed w this idea of her n this idea that her mum being gone was the beginning n end of everything wrong in her life. for the most part now magda accepts she never knew her n sometimes even feels stupid for grieving her at all bc she never knew her to grieve in the first place but. there’s a tiny part of magda tht still hangs on to the comfort of what she could have had n it’s obvious by the fact she still keeps a photograph of her folded up in her pillow. she loves the mum she made up in her head n she wishes she got to meet her. there’s this sense tht maybe then she wouldn’t feel like this culmination of missing parts more than a person if she’d had that in her life. sighs n lks away holding my dyed black emo bang.....

tulip :   how does your muse view people in general ?  

cricket is like. the strangest little anomaly of a person FGHKSFGHSFKGH bc like. u would rly think that after everything he’s been thru he would just have this absolutely jaded view of people and life in general and i wouldn’t even......... blame him for it if he did like. i’d understand completely bc he’s experienced A Lot of bad stuff. n yet somehow he just.... idk. i think i wrote in a reply once this comparison of cricket n a cockroach in the sense that they have this incredibly reinforced exoskeleton n even if they’re stomped flat they can keep living n bounce back from it n that’s very him but it’s more specifically the hope inside him. he has this little candle lit that good things can still happen midst all of the terrible things n i genuinely can’t see it snuffing out at any point even tho sometimes he might want it to. sometimes i think he even gets into these frames of mind where it jst infuriates the fk out of him bc in his head he’s like why do u even think good shit can happen when u have sm overwhelming evidence to the contrary but then he’s also like. look u can dwell on the bad or u can notice the way the light falls thru the leaves in the trees and u can think to urself inside ur head as u listen to someone u love talking abt something that makes them happy ‘hey this feeling is nice n there’s a dozen others like it’. idk. against all odds he’s an optimist. he has tinnitus in his left ear n sometimes he pretends the ringing is angels trying to talk to him. he likes to search for the silver linings in things to make them bearable n that’s how he gets by. obviously he knows there’s evil in the world n that a lot of people can be shit bc he has firsthand experience w that but he also believes there are people to serve as the antithesis to that n he wants to focus on them bc like. why give bad stuff the time of day. not necessarily always a positive coping mechanism (if u bottle up bad feelings n thoughts they leak thru one way or another aka his overwhelming anxiety) but like.... i think there’s a lot of bravery in that n i respect him for it i won’t lie. he cld have become very bitter bt instead he’s like that quote that’s like 'the gentleness that comes, not from the absence of violence, but despite the abundance of it'. suddenly slaps his little anxious rump (supportive) (affectionate)

marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings ?  

it’s hard to say w ziggy............... i feel like he doesn’t want to think he’s prone to jealousy bc he’s like i’m literally a god wdym i simply wld never give a fk bc i know i’m above all else................. but like. do u actually believe that ziggy. do u. FKGJHKSJGHFGSHFGKSHGKFHG. he’s good at convincing himself at least........... has me fooled too most of the time. bt. thinks abt this.............. i feel like he doesn’t tend to get jealous over ppl he hooks up w a lot of the time bt there’s definitely a few select ppl he might.......... n then he doesn’t rly know what that feeling is bc he’s so unused to feeling it so he’s like wtf why am i so fking pissed off over the thought of this person fking that person? like literally doesn’t even. connect the dots n make the logical conclusion bc it jst seems so bizarre n nonsensical to him. rly is awful at working out his own feelings like. he cld just suddenly explode one day n have to smash a bunch of shit in a junkyard n after his chest is heaving n he has all this broken stuff around him n he’s just like yo wtf was that man forreal lmfaoooooooooo..... like he just doesn’t even get how his own emotions work it’s tragic n it’s men for u. w anxious feelings he represses them a lot he doesn’t rly understand what they r or know how to recognise them........... i honestly feel like he has a lot of anxiety surrounding his mum esp w her dating n like some of the guys they’ve both had to deal w that she’s dated in the past.......... i doubt he processes that healthily or expresses it healthily either..... probably contributes to the tensions between him n his mum they hv a lot of underlying issues that come out in the form of bickering n petty disagreements...... probably a huge contributor to him acting out so terribly in high skl was just all this pent up worried energy with no means of making sense of itself or like. place to go. like shaking a coke bottle over n over n finally having to crack the lid n let it fizz on something. i also think he probably swallowed a lot of jealousy growing up whenever other kids had gd relationships w their fathers or parents in general probably ws kind of like lmfaooooo yo why don’t mine love me like that. in his head...... so ya. i think he copes w anxious feelings by acting out n also fucking if we’re being honest......... it helps him let off steam <3 king of clapping cheeks ig....

chrysanthemum :   how does your muse express romantic love ?  how do they feel about love as a concept ?  

bradley is kind of hard to read romantically like from an outside perspective but slides on my thin rimmed spectacles n picks up my scalpel to delve right in to the nitty gritty of her brain... omg... that sounded... kind of scary actually but. it’s ok. basically settles in. bradley struggles to verbalise her feelings in this regard but also in a general sense honestly.... like she’s spent a lifetime having any vulnerable or negative feeling shut down....... her dad’s the type of personality where it’s like... u can’t win. even tho he’s narcissistic n thinks he’s a god if u compliment him or express affection he’ll act pleased but there’ll also be this register in his eyes where he thinks less of u for it. so this rly had a domino effect in bradley’s emotional expression in all grounds of life...... romance is probably the most frivolous concept to tony so bradley definitely internalised some of these views n wld feel stupid for ever taking anything seriously in that regard or rly investing herself..... she also just. idk. love has only ever left bite marks in bradley’s world so she’d kind of like ‘why wld i ever expose my tender spots n open myself up to someone just so they can sink their teeth in’. i will say tho that like. despite that she can in rare instances develop those feelings n it’s always like..... quite a struggle for her when she does. she doesn’t rly understand it or how to deal w it. she finds talking about it hard n she feels childish or weak in the eyes of whoever knows how she’s feeling. it takes a long time n a lot of work to earn it bt bradley in love is like. ur the only person on the planet who knows how gentle she can b. she’d literally like. touch the face of this one guy i wrote her being in love w when he was sad so gently it was shocking it ws like a love tht deep unlocked a whole other part of her she didn’t know existed. sex is a big part of her love expression jst like. a lot of it. so much. JHGSFKHGSFGKHFKGSHG let’s get it.......... she’s a ride or die n doesn’t do anything in halves. she has a nasty habit of pushing good things away n also wld probably do this to protect the other person bc her world is a never ending shit show with her father’s presence in every room even when he isn’t physically there. she wldn’t wna subject someone she loved to the danger of that bc she hates it enough herself so. idk. smiles w hand on hip. love isn’t something bradley thinks is on the menu fr her bc she’s only ever known it to be hard or mean n why bother trying when that’s the case. it feels like there’s always small print attached tht will hurt her in the end n nothing is free or genuine. very doomed outlook on love in general tbh.

belladonna :   how does your muse respond to silence ?   do they take comfort in soundlessness ,   or seek to fill the void with noise ?  

nyla honestly doesn’t mind silence at all........ they always wake up rly early in the morning no matter what time they went to bed. it’s like someone programmed an oven timer into their brain n often when they wake up at 6am or something they’ll go on walks around irving tottering in their own little world which is quite a quiet experience in itself when the rest of the world’s asleep........... always off on impromptu adventures they came up w on the spot.......... sometimes they get lost in their own train of thought too so they just randomly fall silent bc they’re having a whole conversation w themselves inside their head or like. writing a whole children’s story abt an iguana in a trench coat floating in a hot air balloon smoking a little vintage pipe all the way to peru. honestly for every 1 thing nyla says there’s about 4987295749572592745 things they don’t say tht are x100 times stranger n more nonsensical they sort of let it all drift thru their head like an open sieve for the most part. having said tht i think in order to sleep at night they probably need some sort of white noise or smthn................. it’s handy living in a beach house bc they just leave the window open to let the ocean gush bt sometimes if they’ve snuck into like. mido’s bed fr the night or someone’s bed idk the sound of them breathing works too................. they used to always sleep w bob ross playing on loop n that was rly comforting to them esp bc he reminds them a lot of their dad w his calming voice n energy.............. sometimes they’d have taken smthn n they’d literally hallucinate it as their dad instead of bob ross n this happened so many times in a row fr a period of time tht when they finally watched it sober they were like wtf since when did they recast my dad in this show...... KJHFGSHFGKSHFKGH but also. frowns... bit sad considering. 

[chiiquititamoved]

dracula ep 2 - observations

ahhh! the scene is set and i cannot wait for more agatha 

so we open up onto dracula’s castle? i think 

dracula and my beloved aggie are in a room together

wait so are they buddies now? drac’s not trying to eat her or anything, which i find suspicious

there’s a chess game going on with some symbolism i am too tired to grasp

drac starts telling agatha about the voyage he made to england 

scene changes to a ship and the captain having a nightmare about a dismembered hand? idk

now we meet a passenger, dr sharma who’s looking at a body or something

it’s the “grave the children complained about” ??? i’m getting lucy vibes 

the coffin/body is 70 yrs old but there’s fresh scratches on the lid! i wonder where this is going 

ew a very gross body rises out of the coffin 

scene change! we meet a dead guy, piotr

his mum/sister/relative is saying he was going to be a sailor but he died before he could, and there’s this very suspicious guy sweeping in a doorway and listening to the conversation

but then a nun closes the door and locks him in his room

and then the lady relative is told by the priest to stab w/ a stake piotr and she does. wise move, ma’am

this is all taking place close to a shipyard/dock 

oooh suspicious guy is going to the ship and impersonating piotr! interesting 

so it’s established that the one-handed guy from the nightmare the captain had is coming back on the ship. apparently it was the captain’s fault he lost his hand, but the nice one-handed guy is making a joke out of it and it’s all very friendly, but it still haunts our cap i guess

lord and lady ruthven are coming aboard the ship. they just got married, and it’s all very exciting 

the lord jokes about “making it a long voyage” (wink wink) to cap (comedic genius right here) and then this guy who introduced him is like “oh, it will be” we’ve got so many suspicious characters already, i feel so blessed!!

okay - i’ll call the guy who’s pretending to be piotr fake piotr to avoid confusion and i’ll call the other suspicious guy (i think he’s lord and lady ruthven’s servant/secretary? he’s got pretty nice clothes, idk) bob 

there’s an old guy who approaches fake piotr like “are you as inexperienced as you look? are you scared?” and he’s like well yeah and the other guy goes “me too.” ???? that’s reassuring!! 

ah the doctor (i forget his name) and his daughter are boarding 

dracula boards openly as himself because THAT’S a good idea 

agatha, of course, echoes my thoughts and drac’s like “what do you think i would’ve done, lie around in a box for 4 weeks?” uh, yeah, you’re a fucking vamipre

anyway, back to the ship. fake piotr is about to enter a room (no. 9) but this crewmember comes up to him and goes nah you can’t go in there these passengers are sick (he sounds like he’s lying) and fake piotr is like okay thanks i won’t do that then 

there’s fucking flies EVERYWHERE on this ship jesus 

like i get they’re undead and it’s symbolic and suspenseful or whatever but it’s also fucking GROSS

anyway drac comes up to the crewmember, who for some reason is listening at the door of no. 9, and says some creepy stuff to him (turns out he’s from bavaria. this may be relevant later?)

so fake piotr is from romania and he’s boring the handless guy with his “story” - the handless guy points out that it sounds SUPER fucking fake. anyway time for dinner!

so now they show the fancy dining room and lord whatever is there w/ bob (his name’s adisa, actually) and adisa’s like ooh this wine isn’t good i don’t like it and then they argue whatever and the doctor interjects 

OH MY GOD! adisa and the lord are together! the lord’s like you know this marriage is a necessary evil and adisa’s like yeah but it hurts. :,( i feel him man

drac introduces himself to the old lady, bla bla, and then he drinks this crewman’s blood and like absorbs his mannerisms (and his german)

god this is boring i want more of my tragic gay love story 

turns out drac and the old lady (who is a duchess) danced together on her 18th birthday? okay? i don’t care where’s adisa 

and that’s the night the duchess’s mother disappeared. great. 

now drac drinks the old lady’s blood

there’s a fog around the ship... it seems to be following them... how mysterious...

okay now drac is creeping out fake pietro by telling him a gross story because he was looking in a barrel? I DON’T CARE WHERE IS ADISA

ahh finally adisa’s back. so dorabella (the gay lord’s wife) is tired (and everyone else is like OOHhoo i wonder why) but drac seems to be on to them. uh oh

honestly other than agatha adisa and the lord are the only characters i actually want to have a happy ending 

okay everyone’s asleep but doc, and he’s having flashbacks or whatever to that body from before 

he gives his sleeping daughter (who’s mute + deaf, btw, forgot to mention that) a touching little monologue abt how there’s monsters in this world and he’ll protect her (that sounds sarcastic but it actually is sweet) 

lady whatever (gay’s wife) goes out on deck in the night, for a walk, but meets dracula out there 

he’s kinda flirting/talking w/ her outside but she’s obviously in love with her husband, unfortunately

m’lady reveals she’s going to america

dracula shows her the water in a barrel or something? but refers to it as a mirror? he shows her a pic of her and her husband in the reflection and goes “i thought i’d show you a picture of what might have been,” or something dramatic like that 

the doctor’s daughter starts bleeding from her face in her bed, and she wakes up

turns out the blood is from the lady and is dripping through the ship’s deck! 

doc’s daughter goes up to investigate and sees drac drinking the lady’s blood

:( i really don’t want the doc’s daughter to die

well of course now drac is threatening her >:(

like i feel bad for dorabella but i want adisa to be happy. i’m very conflicted

they’re going to search for the murderer now 

DRACULA IS SO OBVIOUSLY THE CULPRIT OH MY GOD. he keeps saying the most suspicious things and nobody cares

okay now drac is saying that they should search cabin no. 9? which only the captain has access to, for some reason, and he’s super anxious to not let anyone else in?

there’s a bunch of flies in cabin no. 9. great, more death

it’s established that there is actually another person in cabin 9, the mates hear breathing or something

drac: “ah, but you’re a scientist.” doctor: “yes, i was, at the university of calcutta. are you a scientist yourself?” “no, but i have an appetite for it.”

this guy gets injured because of the fog or something 

dracula is like addicted to blood, and he can’t stand the sight of it or something 

NO THE LORD RUTWHATEVER IS WITH DRACULA 

IF HE’S GOING TO CHEAT ON ADISA I WILL RIOT

oh no thank god everyone else is in the room with him 

The gay lord’s friend who told him to take this ship is called balaur? oh my god balaur is the dude that the rich old lady said was paying for her trip to england in the beginning! i feel like we’re onto something my dudes 

i was right! balaur is also the doctor’s sponsor

So the injured guy (the crewmember) gets woken up by the gay lord’s wife and she’s like ooh it’s okay but then it turns out it’s dracula pretending to be her and he drinks the guy’s blood

Ooooh shit most of the crew left on a lifeboat!!! Shit

NOW WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO SEE WHO’S IN CABIN NINE! 

Okay so we cut back to drac, who spouts some cryptic bullshit as usual 

Ahhhh we’re finally getting an explanation for why he and agatha are here! She gets up ans she’s like “how did i get here? We were at the convent!” and dracula let mina go? But he didn’t let agatha go

Agatha’s like “the people you feed on, you make them dream!” 

NO, HE DRANK AGATHA’S BLOOD????!!

OH MY GOD AGATHA’S IN CABIN NUMBER NINE 

Drac goes into the cabin and he’s like agatha is the murderer! 

And they’re about to hang her!!!!!! No but she’s the love of my life!!!!

okay the captain and the doctor are like she couldn’t possibly have done it! she’s too weak

now, my darling agatha, who of course has her wits about her, says that she’s a vampire so they can’t hang her! and they’re like uh okay i kinda believe her

but then drac starts to kick the barrel from under her! and aggie BITES HER LIP AND THE BLOOD FALLS 

dracula goes a little batshit (! get it???) and they see it! and then the doctor’s daughter (who you will recall i ALWAYS had faith in) comes in and makes the sign of the cross and drac’s repulsed

IS THE DAY SAVED? no, there’s 30 minutes left in the episode

DRACULA RUNS AWAY WHILE THEY’RE SAVING AGATHA 

AND MY HERO (AGATHA, OBVIOUSLY) JUST SITS UP AND GOES “i am sister agatha van helsing of the st mary’s convent, budapest. captain sokolov, you are relieved of command.” JUST LIKE THAT! MY HERO! 

okay so the doctor has a little potion for if he’s undead? I guess it kills an undead person

the remaining crew members threw all of the boxes of earth but one off of the ship (drac needs to sleep on transylvanian earth for some reason?)

gay lord just called dracula seductive >:( where’s adisa?? I miss him 

WhAT the FUCK? gay lord LIKES dracula? 

NO ARE GAY LORD AND DRACULA GOING TO FUCK

GAY LORD IS ON DRACULA’S SIDE 

DOCTOR AND HIS DAUGHTER JUST PULLED SOME CROSSES BECAUSE DUH AND GAY LORD IS THREATENING TO SHOOT THEM

NO NOW THE DOCTOR AND HIS DAUGHTER ARE DEAD 

AND DRACULA JUST STARTS TO DRINK THE LORD’S BLOOD 

Fake piotr then walks into the cabin and is like “wtf,” obviously, and then runs up to the deck and tells people, who are nailing pages of the bible to the deck 

Oh no adisa’s sad! He’s crying no :,( 

They’re all in the bible circle tho

Oookay so they were suspicious of piotr because last time drac took over harker’s body 

So now they’re all telling fake piotr to step out of the circle and back in 

Fake piotr does it and succeeds but then ofc fucking dracula appears. *eye roll* 

So adisa was like hey what the fuck why is religion the only thing stopping dracula? This is bullshit 

and adisa’s like drac you took the love of my life :((( no adisa he’s not worth it!!!

dracula’s taunting adisa to step out of the circle!!! Nooooo

NO HE STEPS OUT OF THE CIRCLE

ADISA SHOOTS DRACULA NO

NO DRACULA BITES ADISA!!!:((((

Fake piotr lunges at dracula but he throws him down and a barrel pops open 

The captain comes at him too

they’re all fighting him!!! 

They set him on fire! About fucking time 

He jumps into the water 

Okay this is making me nervous where did he go

Scene change! It’s morning and the sun is shining

“Where’s olgaren?” “cooking.” “just when you think you’re out of danger.”

Fake piotr sees a white bird with its head severed on deck :| 

We’re in the hold now, and aggie is keeping watch on the crate of dirt. The cap comes down and talks to her 

Oooh agatha’s saying that this ship must never reach england. we’ve got one lifeboat left, apparently, so i guess that works

She wants to blow a hole in the hull 

NO AGATHA WANTS TO SINK WITH THE SHIP 

NO I LOVE HER 

SHE SAYS SHE’S GOING TO DIE ANYWAY BECAUSE THE VAMPIRE’S CURSE LIVES INSIDE OF HER 

Awwwwwwwww cap’s giving her a hug :,(

I’m HEARTBROKEN!!!!! AGATHA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

I kinda have a feeling she won’t die tho

Ew there’s a fly buzzing on a doll’s face. hm - totally unrelated, by the way i wonder what dracula is inhabiting 

Okay the guys are all leaving the ship 

Aggie’s praying down below but then she hears a noise and comes up to the cabins 

oh fucking hell dracula’s coming 

great. just fucking great 

oh no it’s the cap! Cap stayed with her on the ship!

fuck is it dracula inhabitng his body?

Agatha just found that dracula put a ton of dirt under a bed and he just slept on that one :/

okay the cap went on deck and agatha followed him but drac killed him before she could do anything 

drac’s like follow me, and walks off 

Agatha looks at cap’s body and cap’s alive!!! And he goes keep him talking!

So agatha goes on deck with drac 

Drac says how he got back on the ship, etc. 

Cap’s climbing towards them! Go! I’m rooting for you! 

Ookay they’re doing some menacing small talk, dracula’s lying, whatever 

Yes!! Cap set the ship on fire!!

Drac’s about to drink agatha’s blood - agatha: “yes, go ahead. The last thing your eyes will ever see is the contempt in mine!” 

He throws her down onto the deck + runs away to the hold

THE SHIP IS EXPLODING!

Agatha’s in the water! She’s drowning noooo

Convo between fake pietro + one handed guy: “They’re dead, then.” “yes.” “what now?” “we honour them.” “how?” “by telling their story.” :,(

huh - so marius (hmHMHM) is fake piotr’s real name

Okay no dracula swims to england (it’s not that far away)

HUH 

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK?

NOW DRACULA’S IN ENGLAND AND A HELICOPTER ARRIVES??? AND A BUNCH OF MODERN CARS??? AND AGATHA VAN HELSING BUT SHE’S WEARING MODERN CLOTHES?? 

TO BE CONTINUED 

WELL. that’s done i guess. 

oh my god the wc on this thing is once again 2000. i don’t mean for this to happen i promise 

IN CONCLUSION: the next episode had better be fucking good. I mean it, Gatiss. The ending was insane (i had to rewatch it to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating) and honestly? This REEKS of season 4 sherlock (or whichever season it was when everything went to shit). If they make this some kind of ridiculous future au i WILL die. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. 

(P.S. I will try to watch the next episode this weekend! so watch out for (more) deranged ranting.) 

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[leonbastralle]

Replies!

yet again i waited a while oops (also look at this wonderfully creative title would you) but here they are finally!! tumblr kept eating half of them and here i thought they finally had that fixed -.-

anyway thanks for your support my dudes!! it’s appreciated ♥♥

thatsimslove replied to your photoset

This is a gorgeous picture 😍

thank you!! this place is so perfect for a wedding ;_;

peachbobs replied to your photo “wow thanks”

scroll the top thingy all the way over and make sure safe mode is off !!

i did that! tumblr just does that sometimes when nobody’s tagged you in anything for too long XD

volcanopasta replied to your photoset

Return of the flower beard!

YESSSSSSSSSSS i could not let this opportunity go to waste!

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”

😍

worth the pregnancy and baby drama, huh? i love all these kids so much wait till you see them as children!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”

Ahh cuties!!

Breeze might be favourite now haha

bay’s probably MY new fave xD but breeze is good! she has quite a lot of connie tho i think (re: that one comment that comes later bc replies don’t know chronological order abt wave looking like connie)

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “Gen 6 is finally complete with Bay and Breeze!”

Breeze may challenge Wave. *-*

Only kidding, Wave is life.

WAVE WILL FOREVER RULE OUR HEARTS!!!! crazy hat lady ♥

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset

I see a lot of Connie in her here lol

this is literally the only pic i could find of puffy cheeked connie (good old times) and wave definitely has char’s eyes and nose, but she just generally looks like a miracle i guess XD

hellerie replied to your photoset “So…this is us.“ “It seems. Fuck. This is…“ “Good? Weird?” “That, and...”

k i did read it all and u did kill me thanks for that

nice way to spend a saturday night init

in a grave

our rented one? If u wanna hop it

is it bad that i feel accomplished? xD i made you FEEEEEEEEL but sure thing i too am always dead you know that let’s do some grave cuddling

monets-pixels replied to your photoset

👀

bet you expected more smut and what you got was stammering overwhelmed boys oops

volcanopasta replied to your photoset “It’s @twinsimskeletons�� birthday today so I had to take a few pics of...”

this is so cute!!

ahsjgajshfgajsfhagsfjas thank you ;_; i hate eaxis so much for releasing c&d this late these 2 deserved a doggo all along!

socialbunnies replied to your post “i promise i haven’t forgotten abt you guys!! i’ve just been lurking...”

tbh I love the gameplay stuff soOoOoOooOoooO <3

aaaaaaaaaaaa rly ;_; i’ll have to frame that and put it somewhere to look at whenever i want to throw all my caps in the trash again xD thank you so much! i hope story bits are ok too ;)

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “C: Fair enough! How about you and mum? Are you guys good, too? S:...”

The flower beard will return

connielotte is getting married and everyone’s just thirsty for the flower beard i cannot believe

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “HUGS FOR EVERYONE”

I'll have to give a virtual one for now, but one day! ;)

soonish, maybe ;) ;)

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “T: Hey guys! Talkin shit about me?”

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

whatttt let the boy live

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: Oh wow! After Char had the triplets, I admit I didn’t think I’d...”

I LOVE THIS

SISTERSSSSSSS

yESSSSSSSSS sometimes i forget i cry and they used to be so close ;_; glade needs to please come over more again! i remember the last time was when she was pregnant with coriander...oh boy

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”

and my boy there he is

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: Well hello there my dearest nephew! Aren’t you a good child! T:...”

THERE SHE IS THAT'S MY GIRL

in which ebonyi adopts all annie’s sims (aka sims she received from others and sims she bred from two sims she received from others oops)

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “In case you were wondering where Tide is, he’s still alive and...”

Tide whom?

we don’t know a tide in this house we worship the hat lady

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “S: What do you mean, there’s no more soup???”

give! her! more! soup!

More Soup For Shore 2k18 is gonna be my new motto ok but seriously this is now a thing shore is a soup lover

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “™¥”

its a good thing that char has taken the bottles out bc connie sure looks like shes thirsty

who says she wants the bottles tho

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “If it looks like Char’s always mixing, that’s…because she is. I’m...”

I love (1) woman

s a m e

twinsimskeletons replied to your post “4 glow flame and connie and 5 emusci james and kane >:)”

this made me laugh. thank you for making me laugh

no problem ;)

inkwisteria replied to your photoset “Look who Char’s working with ♥”

My girl! <3

berrysweetboutique replied to your photoset “Look who Char’s working with ♥”

♡

i know right!!! it’s so nice to see she’s still around tho her cap glitches terribly i need to see what i can do abt that i rly need them to have a work bromance

simxnoire replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”

MY B A B Y

yesssssssssss he is grown!! there should be quite a few more pics of him in the queue too ;) and once gen 7 starts, well...you’ll need to see abt that he might stick around

hellerie replied to your photoset “This boy aged up beautifully!”

ok but im the painting of the alien thx 

a bEAUTIFUL ALIEN i think they took this one to the new house i’ll be sure to hang you in a nice spot XD

hellerie replied to your photoset

me whenever reylo slips through the cracks even tho i have the words rey and reylo blacklisted everywhere

me whenever ppl doNT TAG THEIR FUCKING T R I G G E R S

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “™¥”

I second that heart like nobody's business. @tainoodles​, you did so darn good.

i hope she read that xD mum!glade especially is something else

twinsimskeletons replied to your post “.”

v r00d v bad like oh my gosh the worst rudest person. (jk obv luv)

tumblr ate all the other comments to this post so i’m just gonna add them manually:

@penelope-and-wonders said: Never have been a bad person to me 😊 So no problems here 😊 

@amixofpixels said: Annie, you have never been rude or unwelcoming to me, and I don't think that will ever change. I know what it is like to overthink things and it sucks, but know that even though, I'm on hiatus, my messages are always open to you. And it's also I can give you all the love you deserve. <3 

@nernershuman said: You are the farthest thing from rude and unwelcoming. You're a sweetheart. 

@alfalfalegacy said: Never been rude to me. You've always been very sweet and welcoming 

thank you so much for taking your time to reply guys ♥ as chelsea said yes i very much love to overthink and it’s just like...better safe than sorry, you know? and now i don’t need to worry abt this for...another month or so xD i’m glad i’ve been doing alright! you guys are all amazing too tho!! giving me all the support i do not deserve i cry

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “S: What do you mean, there’s no more soup???”

food of the gods

:o

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “C: Oh, there you are, Jess! That’s…wow! That’s a pretty neat paintig!...”

It's Isaac Pigton discovering gravity obviously

i’m nominating this one for comment of the year thank you very much

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “when we returned home and she pulled me close for one last goodbye,...”

i mean did you write that? Because if so you should like... do more of that. That was very beautiful!

akjsfhaskfjhakjHADKJHASFKJAHSFSD tbh i’m still not over this AT ALL i’m crying YOU LOVE THIS AND I CAN’T i’ll try to do more!! let’s see if i’m inspired...i mean there IS the wedding night poem still tho that’s completely different AGAIN

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Just reading about the soloist and it says that here. Must be good,...”

I CRY PLS GIVE MY BOY TABASCO A NOBEL PRIZE HE DESERVES IT

he truly does for being a bomb friend to ficus wHERE IS GEN 8

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Tabasco? I’m heading out, are you done for the day? Do you need me to...”

ficus is doing a mighty poker face but i feel like his heart casually did a triple somersault in his chest

basically, a summary of poker face ficus with the extreme feelies

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Tabasco? I’m heading out, are you done for the day? Do you need me to...”

petition for more ficus with a tie!!!! also the expression ficus nooo its friday fuckt me up bc im like hell yea its friday its FIG FRIDAY

sdjkhfskdjhfskdjfhskfahkfsjasfasd i cRY fig fridays gonna b v boring this week i will fail u with old pics but also sure thing!! ill see what we can do abt tie ficus

pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”

yes pls seduce yarrow

would if i could

pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”

also was the theft of his heart a slow or quick heist i feel like we need to Discuss this

slow!! pavot rly isnt the person to do anything fast so it seems only fair. i mean there was definitely some initial attraction (and the whole wTF WHY IS THIS GODLY PERSON TALKING TO ME) but, in good annie fashion throwing my own traits on my chars as always, he discovered new smol details he found intriguing and/or adorable every time and at som point that made his heart do a lil jump but i dont think he knew how bad things were until That One Scene u kno the one bc i feel like thats too much of a spoiler to put into a reply post xD

pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”

i die so much at pavot one day hes gonna realize all his dang shirts are missing and when he does theyll already b cut in half smh

basically hell notice when he sees a certain someone wearing them that good stupid boy i love him

(also this killed me too i cry i m a g i n e)

pixeldemographics replied to your post “(its a mixed bag of charas i kno but shhhh) pavot, calla, & yarrow +...”

tbh i too would b scared of stealing from calla

i bet even zazazazazazazazazazaz is

pixeldemographics replied to your post “tide, havelock, & coriander + 5!!”

i cry pls dont kill him for real

dw were good that would have no use in the story and you know i aint abt that

[izzy-b-hands]

In the weirdest fucking headspace today over two very intense dreams I had (that utterly fucked up my sleep last night, hence why I'm waking up at 12 in the fucking afternoon when I had an alarm set for ten lmao.)

Warning in advance that I'm on mobile and this post will be long, my apologies but I need to get this out now or I'm not even gonna be able to roll out of bed. TW for parts of the dreams which feature: a funeral, a funeral procession, issues with family, drowning/death via being swept out to sea, and also some odd romance/implied sex because sure why not apparently.

The first woke me up at like five, and was v weird but distinct:

Mum and I were getting to her car, that for unexplained reasons was parked at a local funeral home, which for some reason was on a hill (we don't have many hills here, v flat place, but in the dream it was all hills, almost mountains.) The implication I got in the dream was that it was the only parking spot left which is weird but sure I guess.

We didn't actually attend the funeral going on inside, but it finished up as we were trying to leave, discussing usual stuff we do before we go home like do we have the cash/feel lazy enough to get fast food on the way home instead of cook. And before mum could back out of the spot they started loading the hearse and ppl were all over the lot which pissed mum off, so she drove OVER THE FUCKING SIDEWALK AROUND PLANTS IN CEMENT PLANTERS ON THE SIDEWALK to get past them!

Which was half pointless anyway, because my grandparents were in their car right by the entrance/exit and made fun of her for doing that and for not wanting to be in the procession to the cemetery. Grandpa specifically told her 'theres a word for ppl who do what you do, we have a saying about you' and laughed at her, but wouldn't explain that further.

This next bit had me legit looking up funeral procession laws when I woke up. Because mum did get caught somehow behind the hearse even tho we'd left the lot well before it did? And was somewhat understandably flipping out because we weren't actually meant to be a part of the procession, we'd only parked there because there was nowhere else to. And if we looked back you could see my grandparents laughing at us for panicking, so finally mum broke the procession and headed up this v hilly road, winding, again almost mountainous. The last thing we saw was my grandparents looking at us and glaring. Mum kept freaking out abt how it wasn't her fault she'd had to break the law and break the procession, but she wasn't going to lose her job over all this (no idea what in the fuck that has to do with it all frankly, but she said it in the dream.)

I kept trying to calm her and said we could turn around, or pause in someone's driveway (the roads were all lined with familiar houses we've driven past irl) but she wouldn't calm, and the last thing I remember before I woke up was her turning the wheel harshly and hearing the tires skid on the edge of the very high up mountain road.

So needless to say that fucked me up and I didn't sleep again until abt eight, because I went to shower and try and chill out before crawling into my bed in my room, before I'd been passed out on the couch.

Only to then have this dream before I woke up just recently:

No family in this one, only band members from bands I like and their family (which is just my brain making a good casting decision I suppose lol.) Specifically, Queen and Avatar.

The issue was...odd. We were stuck very near the seaside, near a boardwalk that looked alarmingly similar to the one in GTA/that tbh you would see in any game modelled after the West coast. In a building that Brian (though in the dream, it was hard to know it was him?? Like him and Bri and Freddie and John kept switching ages, one minute it was 70s Bri, then suddenly Bri now, and it was hard to follow for some reason) knew and explained to us was an old boarding school building, often used for safety for folks during times of flooding.

And in the dream I just went sure yeah okay because I had no reason to believe otherwise, and also a storm was raging outside and had been for the entire dream. Like we could hear waves hitting the building constantly.

Which was extra dangerous, because the Avatar lads and their family members (I was told all their families were there, like Henrik's wife and kids plus Paky and Jacob with Johannes, Tim's pup was there, but I only saw them randomly for the rest of the dream after being told by John (Avatar John, to clarify lol) that they had brought everyone with them) were up on this balcony that we had been instructed (by who, no fucking clue, but we trusted them implicitly apparently) was the safest place in the building and measuring from it and the iron rod fencing around it that matched the same on the building across from us would ensure our safety more (if the waves hit with a certain strength on buildings too far apart, the buildings would both be washed out to sea. Does that make logical sense? Probably not anywhere irl, but it did in the dream.)

So the entirety of Avatar are up there trying to make these measurements, arguing with Bri and Rog especially over this even being helpful to do when

And you can laugh at this, because I did too when I woke up.

There were canoes we could rent (RENT. As if we would be able to bring them back lmao) downstairs instead!! In like a surf shack thing that was in the fucking school building apparently? And bless them for a bit they really thought we could ride out the storm in them (Tim offered to share one with me and his dog. It was v sweet lol.)

Unfortunately, we then immediately (all of us now somehow crowded on the balcony which was way too big for a balcony tbh) watched a bunch of ppl outside the building try to do just that. And they failed. Miserably.

We didn't see bodies, but you just knew they were dead. Paky was crying, John (Queen, since we had two Johns to deal with in this lol) was v upset and kept talking abt how that wasn't a baptism that would get them into Heaven.

So the canoe idea was abandoned even tho the salesdude kept calling up to us and offering what he had left. Nice dude, immediately got swept out to sea by the end of the dream.

Cut back to us on the balcony, panicking. Tim keeps thanking me for holding his dog so she doesn't jump into the sea (she had no intention, and spent the entire dream in his arms, mine, or Jonas's, snuggling and whimpering and it was Honestly Heart Wrenching.) I remind him we're in this together and it's no problem. He pulls me aside for what I'm going to politely censor and just call a v weird and frankly ill-timed makeout session (then again, maybe being about to be swept out to sea is the best time for that?? Idk, but I digress except to say he was a wonderful kisser, but also we both kept crying abt realising we were going to drown, so it was A Lot for both of us I think.)

When we return, Brian has let everyone know that the final calculations are that we will certainly be swept out to sea, but so long as the building stays upright?? We won't drown and die. How does he know this? No explanation was given.

I end up hunkered down with Freddie and Jim and Tim and his pup (the cats for Freddie and Jim I never saw, but heard yowling in their crates so. As safe as can reasonably be???) My Nisha apparently didn't get to go with me for this dream, because I did look for her at points, but couldn't find her (Tim cried with me over that too and helped, v supportive, and now outside of the dream may I say v kind of dream him to do that for me.)

And we just...waited. Knew death was coming, and could do nothing abt it. The only comfort we could reach was that it would be like a museum at the bottom of the sea. Freddie and Tim reasoned that the Titantic, if you could walk in the ruins, might be like that. All old clothes and bones and ppls stuff. And so the school building we were in would be like that too, and we all agreed we liked museums, so maybe it wasn't the worst way to go.

Then the wave actually hit though, and it was just fkn chaos. Tim hanging onto his dog and my waist, myself hanging onto Freddie and Jim by the loops on their jeans (how tf that didn't just rip my fingers off, no idea. *Dream Magic*)

I realized horrifically that as we went down, the building was literally falling apart, bricks and iron work bars flying around us. And all I could see were bones when I looked down into the water, bones from every era but particularly Victorian by the clothes on them for some reason.

What was particularly cruel in this dream was that it ended with a false awakening. I 'woke up' to Tim's arm around my waist, and his nose nuzzling at my neck, asking me wtf I was dreaming abt because I was kicking him and could I pls stop? (Fair request, that's honestly an irl problem that my legs apparently have always tried to fight off bad dreams on their own, much to the bruises and regret of anyone who shares my bed.) And just as I turned around to answer him and tell him how fkn scared I was and how grateful I was he was there and ya know, not dead and drowned,

I woke up for real, alone, in my actual bed.

So now I'm feeling extra lonely, fucked up, and honestly peeved that the dream interpretation dictionary I usually use isn't helping much to make sense of any of this.

[crashhale]

Tagged by @fangfogartys and @bythesulfur-andthesea - wow learned a lot about you guys!

last (1-5)  drink - water

phone call – chiropractor’s office because I’ve been in intense pain, threw my back out on Wednesday night… sleeping.

text msg – “Ok we are back! At houlihans now, eating, then taking nicole home, then home” – letting my husband know I’m back from the city.

song you listened to – White Iverson - Post Malone. Been listening to Post Malone for ever (like a year) now, driving my husband crazy because I am not getting sick of any of his stuff, like, at all.

time you cried – Yesterday at the chiropractor’s office. I was literally in so much pain I couldn’t lay down or sit and 3 people had to help me! I’m so much better today! My chiropractor is THE BEST!

ever..? (6-11)  dated someone twice – No, fuck that noise.

ever kissed someone and regretted it – yes. Definitely.

been cheated on – I don’t think so. But who knows, and who cares.

lost some1 special - yes.

been depressed – yes.

gotten drunk/thrown up – yes. fav colors (12-14)  (I think we’re missing some questions here…) GREEN!

in the last yr have you.. (15-21)  made new friends/ mutuals - Yes

fallen out of love – no.

laughed until you cried – yes.

found out some1 was talking about you – yes. Old bitch at work. I hate that even when you’re out of high school, you’re still in high school. Wish everyone would grow up and shut up.

met some1 who changed you – no.

kissed some1 on your FB friends’ list – yes.

general (22-51)  how many of your FB friends do you know irl – I only add people who I know and interact with, and like. So it’s not a huge list lol.

you have any pets – no... I want a kitty so bad!

do you want to change your name – No, I love my name. I just hate when people don’t listen to the whole thing and then say it wrong.

what did you do for your prev. birthday – I went with a bunch of my friends to my favorite restaurant and ate and drank too much.

what time did you wake up today – 7am

what were you doing @ midnight last night – finally sleeping because my back felt better.

what is something you can’t wait for - to move back home!

what’re you listening to atm – my husband asking if I’m writing my bio.

have you ever talked to a person named Tom – yes, I work with one and he’s really nice.

something that’s getting on your nerves - my back.

most visited site - tumblr right now… lol

hair color – technically my hair is light brown but I do highlights so it’s safe to say blonde.

long/ short hair - long

do you have a crush on some1 – yes.

what do you like abt yourself – That I’m not fake.

want any piercings – no. sometimes I want a nose ring or eyebrow ring or more ear piercings but I’m more of a tattoo girl so I’d go for tats over piercings.

blood type – O+

nicknames – Neno and Leno by all my family and all friends that I’ve had since childhood. Lenko by my mum only. Ireni by my uncle only.

relationship status - married

zodiac – Aquarius

pronoun(s) - She.

fav tv/ on-air shows - Riverdale, Rick and Morty, Game of thrones, The Good Place, Superstore... probably lots more.

tattoos? - Yes! Getting more for my 30th next month too! Can’t wait.

rightie or leftie - Rightie

ever had surgery - Wisdom teeth

piercings - ears

sports - nooooo

vacation – Where I’ve been or where I want to go? My #1 bucket list location is Transylvania

trainers – Allbirds - IN LOVE! more general (52-58)  eating - nothing right now

drinking - water. 

i’m about to watch - nothing I’m going to bed. But tomorrow probably Death Cure.

waiting for - lots of stuff.

want - more money, to move back home, to not have to work, to not be in pain

get married - What’s funny is I’m not someone who ever wanted to get married and I don’t really believe people need to be married if they’re in love but it just so happens we got married! It’s was a surprise wedding and we only invited our parents.

career - I’m in marketing but my dream job would be to curate for a gallery or own my own gallery to feature new artists.

which is better (59-65)  hugs/kisses - hugs.

lips/eyes - eyes. 

shorter/taller - Taller

older/younger – I love younger men!

nice arms/ stomach - Both please.

hookup/relationship - relationship. 

troublemaker/hesitant - Wtf does this mean? have you ever (66-75)  kissed a stranger – I think 2 or 3, all on dance floors.

drank hard liquor - yes.

lost glasses – yes.

turned someone down - yes.

sex on 1st date – yes.

broken a heart – yes.

had your heart broken – no.

been arrested – no.

cried when some1 died - yes.

fallen for a friend – no.

do you believe in.. (76-81)  yourself - yes.

miracles - no.

love @ first sight – no. lust, yes.

santa clause - no.

kiss on a 1st date - yes.

angels - no.

other (82-85)  best friend’s name - Katarina and Laura - I have more BFF’s but those are my oldest.

eye color - light brown

fav movie - It’s always a toss up between The Nines, London, and Lars and the Real Girl

fav actor - I have SO many, but I guess my favorite is Ryan Gosling. Some other faves are Aaron Taylor Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Kate Beckinsale....

Tagging: @elegantmoonchild @mayberrry101 @shymeg @smelsiee @southsidequeenie @sweetpca - anyone else that feels like doing it consider yourself tagged by me!

[liu-lang]

mental health & job stuff - tw: eating disorders, anxiety, sexual assault, self harm 

this week has been difficult. on tuesday and thursday, I saw my new therapist and psychiatrist respectively. 

the moment i saw my therapist’s office, i had reservations on whether she could relate to me. she was a white woman, perhaps in her 30s who was wearing one of those ... convertible skirts ?... you know the one where you can wear as a skirt with a foldable waist band thing tt also can be worn as a tube top dress. i just google’d convertible skirt and patanogia came up (white ppl who have the luxury of time and money to go camping in the summer brand). her office smelt like one of those autumn-scented candles. she had a chakra wall hanging / scroll thing. the appointment started off pretty open-ended. i think she was trying to give me ~space~ to open up so that the conversation flowed naturally. but i just felt kinda lost bc it took me months through 2 clinics and 3 intake appts to finally see her. @ tt point, i’m tired of hearing “so tell me why you’re here today” .... my scepticism increased exponentially  when she recommended practising yoga, being present and mindfulness training. honestly, idk why she works there ? bc she’s serving patients seeking treatment through the LA County Department of Mental Health. considering the issues they face and their lived experiences and socioeconomic status, i don’t think following a 10-min yoga lesson through an app (she seriously tried to recommend an app to me) is gonna make a difference. anyway, my next appt is in another 3 weeks. 

my psychiatrist is an older Filipino women, maybe in her 40s or 50s ... and the way she talks kinda reminds me of my mum (who is a big trigger for me). she asked lots of racially microaggressive questions before reading my file. really reminds me of how my mum exotifies my sisters and i for being mixed. i had to repeat details about my race, country i grew up and family structure a lot. she asked about my religious beliefs and i affirmed that i still identify as a muslim then she asked me if all muslim women have to go through female genital mutilation (there is a history of FGM in my family) ... and just, i can’t. her question came out more as a statement that she wanted me to confirm. i had to explain how it’s more of a mix of sociocultural factors than religious practise, tt not every muslim woman is subjected to it and there is an international response to educate these communities on its harmful effects. 

she also brought up the sexual assault tt happened when i was in high school. i alr felt distrustful and uncomfortable @ tt point ... i couldn’t make myself refer to him as a paedophile. she asked me who was this man and i just like... lost for words ? felt too ashamed ? ... i’m really stuck on how i couldn’t just refer to him for what he was. i guess i do have lots of lingering issues feeling like i am to blame for what happened. we also ran into some issues with my rx. my current pcp didn’t recommend me for my usual annual cardiology visit bc she believes i’ve been stable for a long enough time. but my psychiatrist strongly prefers if i can get an ECG. she did give me a rx for 10 mg lexapro though so... we’ll see how tt goes. i decided to finally seek medication because of my anxiety at work. i didn’t want it to affect my job performance. they also took my vitals ... the usual stuff, my blood pressure is low and i’m underweight. i need to go back for blood work on tuesday. 

speaking of job performance ... i went to a career fair at my alma mater. i had a federal work study position at the career development center as a communications assistant (basically a combo of outreach, distribution, marketing, social media management, data anallytics) so it was different to be on the other side of things. one of the employers present contacted me for an interview. the interview was successful and they extended me an offer. then they gave me the runaround for 2 weeks and i received an email yesterday rescinding the job offer. needless to say, i was blindsided. here’s the time line of events

10/19 thursday - attended job fair

10/20 friday - received a call to schedule an interview then an email confirmation for interview

10/24 tuesday - went in for interview (had to move my psychiatrist appt which essentially changed my psychiatrist so ... idk if i could have had a better fit. i’m miffed abt this.)

10/25 wednesday - phone call from HR offering me the position, they told me i could have until 10/30 to make a decision. they also said they wanted a 11/06 start date if possible. i told them i had to give 2 weeks notice at my current employer as proper protocol

10/27 friday - i rang HR and left a voicemail indicating i’d be interested and wanted to discuss benefits etc 

10/30 monday - i rang HR again and told them i had left them a message on friday and would love to hear back from them soon. no phone call back. in the afternoon, i sent an email to the recruiter i originally handed my resume to letting him know i’ve been unsuccessful in reaching the HR person and would appreciate an update. he rang me back assuring me the offer was still on the table and they would gladly have me and he would email me an official offer by the end of day, also stressed 11/06 start date and i again repeated the 2 weeks notice spiel and could HR send me a summary of the benefits 

11/01 wednesday - i ring HR and finally speak to the HR person. she didn’t receive any of my messages and the recruiter didn’t inform her of what i requested. she said she usually is not in the office mondays and fridays. she sounds in a hurry and is in the middle of doing payroll. i keep it short and express interest in accepting the offer. could i have summary of the health insurance plan and possibly negotiate a slightly higher salary ? she agrees to send me a official written offer by the end of the day or tomorrow. again they emphasise 11/06 start date... i’m like really confused but just repeat that i would love to start asap but also what about 2 weeks notice

11/02 thursday - i receive an email from HR rescinding the job offer with the explanation they had already filled in all the positions they were recruiting for. 

this post is getting super long. there were red flags abt this company from the beginning but i was holding out hope bc surely a university would have thoroughly vetted the employers they invite to a career fair. also bc i worked for the CDC and knew these employers & established a rapport through my position there. i’m still trying to process everything. i’m mostly crushed at the realisation tt i will have to work another black friday in retail. i would hear things abt ppl not being able to work bc of mental health issues. i nvr discredited them but i also didn’t really have a concept of it ? now i have a lived experience. it is tortuous having to think of slogging through another holiday season when i was so close to leaving. i had a co-worker who just left and we were congratulating each other on finally getting out. it feels so defeating and depressing to still be stuck / left behind. this feels so much worse than an outright rejection. added onto normal anxiety associated w/ the recent grad job hunt, now i’m catastrophising what if this happens with another potential employer ? i keep wondering about the reasons why they rescinded ? maybe i shouldn’t have negotiated ? maybe i should have just accepted when they rang - i didn’t have any other offers on the table... maybe i tried to get in touch with them too much ? maybe i didn’t pass the background check ? maybe something went wrong w/ my references ? ...even though they kept insisting on like an impossible start date plus never sending me an official offer therefore preventing me from resigning and agreeing to their start date. i kinda want to have a meeting with my ex boss to let her know about my experience and maybe get advice on um... being aware of warning signs to prevent this from happening again ? but i don’t want it to sound like i’m blaming the university for bringing on shady companies ... i know my experience is not reflective of everyone else’s. it’s hard not to internalise this and feel like there is something wrong with me. another thing is ... i have like no written evidence of everything in between so on email it just looks like i had an interview and then they rejected me. and my phone calls which they nvr answered looks like i was the one hounding them when ... understandably i wanted to move the hiring process along bc they were adamant on the 11/06 start date. i also needed the time to make the very big financial decision of buying a fucking car in order to get to work (the office is in orange county which has 0 convenient transport options esp. going btwn LA and orange counties) 

i’m really anxious abt having more allergic reactions at work - especially bc the managers now know. i have an appt with an allergist but it’s not until january. idk if my skin can survive. i can hide it when it’s on my body but lately it’s been flaring up on my hands - which i use to touch merchandise, handle money, stock shelves, build displays ... just lots of touching and hand contact with possible allergens. i cried in the car after work yesterday and have been battling thoughts of self harm since wednesday. sigh... i’ll have to call this afternoon asking for next week’s work schedule at the store. tt familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting everything to stop is coming back. 

[teamnouis]

leonie @pinkislouder and amber @loveloveolivia tagged me to do this, i’m also in a mood for oversharing so here we go

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: my boy, he’s a tour de france fanboy and told me everything that happened today 

3. Text message: i texted a friend abt a wedding present we organize

4. Song you listened to: i haven’t listened to music since i drove to work this morning and spotify says my last played song is wincent weiss - mittendrin

5. Time you cried: on saturday cause my anxiety made it impossible to go out for dinner with my mum and i felt so guilty for ruining her evening (i didn’t, but that’s how i felt that night)

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Been cheated on: idk, kind of? 

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: no

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. rosé

13. white (it’s a colour, fight me)

14. the softest blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love:  no (not to be sappy but) i fall more in love every single day

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah

19. Met someone who changed you: yes, definitely. there are a lot of people i met who taught me that the most important thing in life is to love and accept myself the way i am and even though i’m still not at this point, i’m learning and working every day to get there one day and i’m forever thankful 

20. Found out who your true friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i mean, yes 

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the majority, like 95%?

23. Do you have any pets: no, sadly not. i’d love a dog and i’m thinking abt it every day of my life, but at the moment it wouldn’t be right and fair as i wouldn’t have as much time as the little doggo deserves 

24. Do you want to change your name: no

25. What did you do for your last birthday: it was super chilled, celebrated it at home with my family (that’s easily 25+ ppl) and good food, football and drinks

26. What time did you wake up: 4:45 am 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: snoring, probably 28. Name something you cannot wait for: for j and me to move in together

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like five minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: even though i do like my job, if i could change one thing i’d change my career and open my own café.. i don’t think i’ll ever be brave enough to do it

31. What are you listening to right now: a blast from the past: fritz & paul kalkbrenner - sky & sand 

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: that i’m so damn low on energy 

34. Most visited website: tumblr and youtube

35. Elementary: yeah? good

36. High School: most of the time it was good and a lot fun 

37. College/university: probably the best time of my life so far 38. Hair colour: a dark blonde 

39. Long or short hair: long

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes, i’m always crushing on j 

41. What do you like about yourself: u know what i don’t like abt myself? that every time this question comes i have to think so hard and can’t think of anything or feel like i shouldn’t be saying this abt myself and then get mad. dshifsfl.. anyway.. someone else has to answer this for me

42. Piercings: no

43. Blood type: absolutely no idea

44. Nickname: thery, resi 

45. Relationship status: in a relationship

46. Zodiac sign: pisces

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, scrubs, gossip girl, modern family, new girl, grey’s anatomy, pretty little liars (fuck them, tbh)

49. Tattoos: nope 50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST… 51. Surgery: i fell off a horse and broke my arm, it was traumatic

52. Piercing: my ears

54. Sport: football was the first i did and the only sport i did for a longer time.. but i’ve tried basically everything as a kid, from athletics to swimming and horse riding and golf and everything else you can think of

55. Vacation: i think it was mallorca or tenerife, my mum nearly lost me on the beach 

56. Pair of trainers: i have absolutely no idea, probably one of those buffalo monsters

57. Eating: fruit

58. Drinking: water

59. I’m about to: watch modern family

60. Listening to: it’s still sky & sand 

61. Waiting for: idk.. that i finally get my ass up and work for the shit i want to achieve and cry over?

62. Want: to cuddle j and meet the little mix squad again and all the people i haven’t met yet?

63. Get married: yeah, definitely

64. Career: i work in human resources at a charity for mentally ill people

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: bruhhhh... i love kissing, but also. hugging makes me feel so safe, so i’d say hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: i do not care

68. Older or younger: i don’t know, older?

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: i have never thought abt this and i have no idea what to answer cause it doesn’t matter to me 

71. Sensitive or loud:  a good mixture of both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a good mixture of both again, sorry i’m boring 

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: yes

75. Drank hard liquor?: yes

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: no, just sunglasses

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on first date: not sex

79. Broken someone’s heart: i actually don’t think so

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: i mean.. nearly, twice?

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: i’m working on it lads

85. Miracles: actually, yes

86. Love at first sight: no

87. Santa Claus: yes, just because i want to

88. Kiss on the first date: yes

89. Angels: yes again, because i want to

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: i don’t have one particular best friend

91. Eye colour: green/brown

92. Favourite movie: i’m not a movie person really, so it’s gotta be harry potter. every now and then i go to the cinema and really enjoy the movies but it’s not like i’d call them my favourite movie? u know..

alright, there we go, if anyone has actually read every single thing congratulations i’m v sorry. also 25 people are a lot to tag so i’m not gonna do that:

@wereamanbandnow, @fuckinghatekissingyou, @floralfeast, @florelikeaflower, @reinventlou, @justlookatthehearteyes, @kingsbesideyou, @iamnotbeingsarcastic, @harrysgaytour

i don’t know who’s been tagged already so just ignore this if you did it already, and no pressure as always. love u. <3 

[cuddlingsun]

hello @ciaoloueh​ (or her phansona, danielbear) has tagged me to do this thingy and it’s long bUT THATS FINE BECAUSE I FIXED IT SO NOW I CAN MENTION PEOPLE AND DO A READ MORE AND LIFE IS BEAUTIFU

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: water! I tried to drink some after waking up (and another sip just now) because who knows if I drink enough it might be a step to being healthier

2. Phone call: my mom, who called to ask what kind of math my brother has

3. Text message: cbs™ got a very excited text about how i can mention people now, it’s truly revolutionary 

4. Song you listened to: green light by lorde i think

5. Time you cried: i remember crying in my dream last night but can’t remember the actual time sorry

HAVE YOU EVER… 6. Dated someone twice: nope

7. Been cheated on: nope

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: well I think so, but like it wasn’t officially diagnosed and all, do feel tons better rn even if it isn’t all that amazing yet

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

12. dark red

13. dark blue

14. the purple/olive green/brown aesthetic that hana gave me lmao

I JUST LOVE A LOT OF THINGS OKAY FIGHT ME

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: yes! though the real life ones aren’t proper friends but the online ones are I guess :D

16. Fallen out of love: sort of??? maybe it was before this past year so idk let’s say no so I feel better about it

17. Laughed until you cried: i’d sure hope so

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ha yes but not that i care too much about it, trying to not have any contact with those people anyway

19. Met someone who changed you: not sure, don’t think so

20. Found out who your true friends are: sort of? i kind of decided to not try too hard for people that don’t try for me? like there’s a difference between being scared to start conversations and just generally not caring abt me as a person u know

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: nope

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i’m going to count it hold up -- 44 out of the 51 

23. Do you have any pets: sadly no

24. Do you want to change your name: sort of did but not anymore? i like to use bus because it’s easy and a nickname but i can live with my name i guess (though maybe change the official spelling lmao)

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had some friends over and had a chilled out get together (and my mom had cooked dinner) which was nice I guess (also two of my friends got me a book which nearly made me cry but all right)

26. What time did you wake up: around nine I think? woke up around 6.25 then around 8.06 and then somewhere before 9.30 (i’m being specific if u care to read this far you won’t mind anyway)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep by daydreaming 

28. Name something you cannot wait for: I cannot wait for a bunch of things but myself aside i can’t wait for one direction to come back?? which sounds selfish i mean i love their solo careers but boys i miss u 

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: last night when she had made some tea but it was too sour for me and then i went to bed (i just went downstairs and saw her again, if that makes u happier)

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: we can’t get into this now fully, but i feel like having tons of money could make a big change to my current situation

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing tbh (also changed to green light when i came back, i was halfway through)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lmao yes he helped teach maths at uni which was cool i guess

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me but also in general the state of the world, but also me a lot

34. Most visited website: tumblr probably lmao 

35. Elementary: was cool I guess, i had a real good year and then it was shitty again but overall could have been worse

36. High School: wasn’t the best, could’ve been worse. i don’t really feel any type of Big Feelings towards any of these

37. College/university: sadly didn’t finish the one thing, so next year i’m starting law? (wish me luck tbh) and afterwards i want to genuinely study physics/chemistry at some point again but who knows if it will happen and when 38. Hair colour: brown

39. Long or short hair: short, but it’s been growing quite a lot

40. Do you have a crush on someone: not that i know of and boy is it good i love it finally time to focus on MYSELF am i rite ladies

41. What do you like about yourself: my mind mostly, physically i don’t LIKE anything but i’m not in full hatred either so there’s that 

42. Piercings: i had my ears pierced but i don’t wear jewelry so 

43. Blood type: i believe O but i’m not sure and don’t know the positive/negative thingy

44. Nickname: lmao hana literally referred to me as bus here so that, don’t really have any others?? bush but i don’t really like that one so

45. Relationship status: single and v v v v happy with that

46. Zodiac sign: libra

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: brooklyn nine-nine, merlin, elementary (and well doctor who, victoria and dirk gently too) (also liked selfie?? and atlantis, galavant, agent carter)

49. Tattoos: none  50. Right or left hand: right (though i want to learn writing with both hands tbh)

FIRST… 51. Surgery: i think they did something with my ears when i was really really young so I don’t even remember it (and i’m scared of surgery so let’s keep it this way)

52. Piercing: the one but also none u feel 

54. Sport: i did ballet which i loved but then i had to stop or go on with people who were like two or three years older than me and were way better so i quit

55. Vacation: i mean i went to turkey every year even as a tiny baby i think so that probably? 

56. Pair of trainers:  i was a tiny child, how should i remember this

57. Eating: ah okay not first so um had a tiny bit of chocolate but still deciding on breakfast 

58. Drinking: the water is still there, i’ll take a sip now

59. I’m about to: figure out what to read whilst i hide from the cleaning lady for three hours (and probably eat something first) 

60. Listening to: currently it’s royals also by lorde 

61. Waiting for: a simple thing rn because we’re not that deep yet: a burst of motivation to go shopping tonight with my sister and her friend

62. Want: general Big Life Things, but also just books??? i fucking love books NO FUCK I WANT TIME LOTS OF TIME SO I CAN DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO

63. Get married: not planning to but who knows life is weird

64. Career: okay look the most ideal one would be a scientist and an author but we all know studying law won’t get me there so we’re still figuring it out, but scientist and author??? especially scientist??? id die for that man

YOUR TYPE… 65. Hugs or kisses: currently feeling a good hugs (woah, we would never have guessed tumblr user cuddlingsun)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes i guess?? 

67. Shorter or taller: taller??? look I don’t Know these things 

68. Older or younger: probably older??? but also like younger is fine??? idk

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I DON’T KNOW EITHER HANA whichever one that person wants??? like i’m not very specific on these things

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive I guess but like hana said, you could be both

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship lmao what would i get out of a hookup except for years of pining

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant, but also a teeny bit mischievous otherwise i’d get bored  --------- keeping hana’s answer here

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: nope

75. Drank hard liquor?: nope

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: i lost a lens once when i slept with them in accidently, but later found it on my pillow (i think) which was quite odd

77. Turned someone down: HA if we’re HONEST yes but like,,, i was twelve,,, he was weird,,, let’s forget it ever happened 

78. Sex on first date: um no -- hana catching my feelings perfectly

79. Broken someone’s heart: well that would be a maybe but i hope not lmao

80. Had your heart broken: L M A O yes way too easily

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes, though it usually takes other people crying for me to Get There

83. Fallen for a friend: yes? no? idk what came first but honestly i’d like to have it be a friend rather than a stranger lmao

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: in all honesty no, but i’m trying to

85. Miracles: yes, in a way

86. Love at first sight: sort of?? like not love exactly but a feeling that turns into actual love yeah that’s possible i guess 

87. Santa Claus: nope, but i dont remember if i ever believed in him to begin with so i should ask me mum probably

88. Kiss on the first date: idk??? 

89. Angels: yeah i mean yeah with the religion thing and stuff i guess that’s a yes 

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: honestly idk like i have many best friends and i don’t really have a solid best friend anymore but that’s fine because i lov so many people anyway

91. Eye colour: also brown

92. Favourite movie: don’t??? but all righty some time ago i’d have said spongebob the movie so that, hidden figures, prisoner of azkaban, dead poets society, brave (also pride and prejudice & austenland probably)

i tag @bothhappy--andsad because she usually wants to do these kinds of tags and if they want to: @ryanperch @floralaesthetlc @klainederful cus u guys are super cool and i wanna know if you care to do it (and anyone else that wants to do it can say i tagged them cus i wanna READ)

[bookishplays-blog]

TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE HELL HOILDAY LAST YEAR

OH MY FUCK OK SO

this is related to the post i made abt the music association thing and the Hell Holiday is basically the reason i cant listen to mix tape anymore i swear to god this fucking holiday made me lose years off my life expectancy-

backstory: i went on a school trip to france prior to the hell holiday. i was the only responsible kid on said trip and saved all my money so when we were on the way back home i was deadass the only kid who had more than £10 left for food. anyway, this one girl who hung around with us had no money left so i bought her food and a drink and she was so grateful she told her parents who invited me to go to this adventure park place with them in the summer. me, being a broke ass bitch who, at this time, didn’t mind said girl and had ALWAYS wanted to visit said adventure park, said yes and packed to go.

from the start, it was a fucking shitshow. i stayed with this girl for approximately six days, three of which were in the adventure park, three at her house. the first day, we went to the cinema, where she proceeded to ignore me, speak over me and yell at me the whole day. her parents were strict to the point where we were sent to bed at eight o'clock. DURING SCHOOL HOLIDAYS. the second day went no better, with me getting my period, her being overly snide and dismissive, refusing to talk to me, taking complete control over everything, not packing for the trip and then yelling at me, confiscating MY headphones when i listened to music. but i figured, hey, she’s probably just antsy bc she’s bored.

BOY WAS I WRONG

on the car journey to the adventure park, she refused to talk to me. WE WERE IN THE CAR FOR TWO HOURS AND SHE SPOKE TO ME NOT ONCE. TO THE POINT WHERE EVEN HER PARENTS COMMENTED ON IT. and just when we FINALLY arrived, she dragged me straight off to go swimming.

as i mentioned, i was on my period. i bleed extremely heavily, and although i won’t give out my age, i’m a fairly young teen. this was the first time i’d ever used a tampon. repeat. I WAS YOUNG, ALONE, UNFAMILIAR WITH MY SURROUNDINGS AND JUST LEFT TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE A TAMPON WITH ZERO SYMPATHY AND AN ORDER TO HURRY UP. being so inexperienced, i did it wrong, so i had to leave after half an hour to redo it. except i found out they locked my back in their locker, which would’ve been fine except i was bleeding everywhere and locked in a toilet cubicle?? anyway the girl eventually found me, yelled at me, got my bag and yelled at me when i went back out to the pool.

this got no better throughout the day. we were given bikes to get around with, and her parent SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO LEAD HER SINCE I WAS MORE EXPERIENCED WITH ROAD CYCLING. the MOMENT this bitch’s parents were gone, she yelled at me and forced me to go behind her, which would’ve been fine except this hoe was in high school and could barely ride a bike, so we spent half an hour on a ten minute ride because of how much she stopped and started. one time, she stopped and started so rapidly that i accidentally rammed into her. she screamed at me despite me apologising profusely, checking her over and offering to go ahead so it wouldnt happen again. (spoiler; she said no)

you know how i said i was on my period? this is VERY important. i’d like to stress through the whole holiday that this girl was rude to me whenever i was in pain or tired or lethargic, all things to do with being on my period. evenings were spent with her ignoring and yelling at me, then complaining that i was too quiet and rude. she did a bunch of other nasty shit to me, which i’ll elaborate on later, including the part where she abandoned me in a forest.

now, i was visibly upset, and her parents were genuinely so sweet to me. they made an effort to include me, to buy me drinks and to hold a conversation with me. her parents were the best part of that fucking holiday, even if they did make us go to bed at eight o'clock.

the night of the first day wasnt that bad, apart from a few awkward conversations about phone charging arrangements. but overall, i woke up feeling like maybe it wouldnt be so bad. BOY WAS I WRONG. this was when i was at the peak of my instagram friendships, and i had two best friends, people i’ll call Tara and Anya (not their real names). tara and anya were the reason i survived that fucking holiday i stg when this bitch made me cry (which was often) they were always there. THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT LATER IN THIS STORY.

next day, still on my period, things went a tad better. me and the girl did archery - a disaster, by the way, with her mocking me and calling me names - and we went swimming again, which went marginally better. unfortunately, evening activities were fucking SHIT. this bitch screamed at me for having a period and taking painkillers, telling me i could just stop if i wanted to, then bagsied the first shower home despite the fact i was bleeding and had a tampon that i needed to change. our room had the only shower and there was no fucking way i was going to use her parents’ bathroom (besides, she locked me out of our room so i couldnt get fresh tampons anyway). i ended up removing my tampon very quickly (and since i actually inserted it properly this time, it hurt like a bitch and i cried).

however, wifh zero access to the room with all my period products i had to sit in a pool of my own blood, practically crying, for ten to twenty minutes while she showered. i repeat. I, A SCARED YOUNG TEEN IN AN UNFAMILIAR SETTING, HAD TO SIT IN A POOL OF MY OWN BLOOD BECAUSE THE GIRL I WAS STAYING WITH WOULDNT LET ME USE THE BATHROOM FIRST. and when i did finally get to use the bathroom, she made snarky comments when i took sanitary products with me.

evening entertainment was a shitshow. she ignored me, took my money, ignored me some more and then mocked me for calling my mum. i ended up faking sleep early just so i didnt have to listen to her. and yet that was one of the better days.

THE NEXT DAY, I GOT LOCKED OUT OF THEIR FUCKING CABIN.

we decided to race to this beach area before meeting at the fencing complex. unfortunately, i had never been to this park before, as i said, so i got hopelessly lost. i decided to cycle to the main metro area in the park because thats where fencing was. i hoped they’d meet me there. they didn’t. i’d left my phone inside. i cycled there and back to the cabin at least four times looking for them and crying before eventually giving up and sitting outside the cabin, where a cleaner ended up taking pity on me and letting me in. i proceeded to run indoors and cry for a straight half hour, while my friends tried to console me.

i was inundated with angry texts. her only response when i told her what happened was “you wasted fencing.” as a poor girl who had always wanted to try fencing, this made me even more upset.

we did end up going to the beach place after they returned, but the girl made me row her everywhere and complained when i asked to swap. we went swimming again, and i was so cramped up that i swam for maybe half an hour before getting out and sitting on the poolside, reading and talking to my friends. this girl, whose parents had told me explicitly that i could sit by myself if i didnt want to swim, screamed at me for wasting the water. i cried again.

now we get to the part where she FUCKING ABANDONED ME IN THE WOODS.

i went back to the cabin early, and her parents decided to show us a clubhouse area. they left straight afterwards, leaving us to our own devices. we messed around a bit, and then she said to me, and i quote,“stop following me.”i didnt know the area, where to go, or what was available to do. so i sat down and texted tara and anya, who made me laugh. until this girl fucking upped and left, not before calling me slow and stupid, and left me. alone. in the woods by myself with nobody there.

I WAS LEFT IN THE FUCKING WOODS ALONE AT SEVEN O CLOCK AT NIGHT.

luckily, my gay ass remembered the way back because there were some pretty distinctive paths and bushes on the way there, so i returned safely. her parents asked me where she was, and i lied and said we decided to split up.

she didnt come back after half an hour, so her dad borrowed mg bike and found her. she then said I left HER and then pretended to be sick and ignored me all night. (in case ur wondering how i knew her bitch ass was faking, she was perfectly fine after dinner.)

the final day, the day of leaving, we walked around a bit, and i spoke mostly to her mum. i had a pounding headache, and she took notice and dragged us inside in the shade. her parents truly were blessings, as i said. the hoe ignored me, per usual, screamed at me, per usual, and at breakfast after she made me very uncomfortable and asked very personal questions about my financial situation. when we FINALLY left, she called me ungrateful for reading on my phone and staying inside when she went to get snacks. when we got back to her place, she totally ignored me and went outside, leaving me alone to wait for my dad to pick me up.

when i left, she didnt even say goodbye, despite me getting her attention many times.

in other words, that holiday has made me distrust her completely to the point where when i was asked if i’d be okay sharing a room with her on another trip after, i flat out said no and chose the only other people (homophobes who all ignored me) to share with instead.

on the bright side, that holiday made me talk to my friends so much that i ended up becoming super close with my current squad, so theres that.

[leonbastralle]

Rosa Pt.2

Honestly sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t mind you disappearing because your catching up stuff always makes me extra happy XD I honestly don’t know how you do it.

grumpysimmies replied to your photo “Before my followers raise a mutiny because these guys are no longer in...”

AND I WILL DON'T WORRY YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE

I do ;_; the first couple q&a would have been nothing without you.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm looking forwards to get to know the chars you have yet to talk about xD

all my Ryders to be (Jian&Des, plus Olympia and Chikelu) are the most wip characters ever so there’s really not much to say (apart from how much I love Jian and Des’ dynamic)

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

You can never take too much moments to appreciate how cute a sim/char can be

true too, it gets weird tho when it’s your own

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'd personally come for them if they had something to say about ficus ._____.

same

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm forever indebted to Carys since Flame's never going to age up xD

I will make sure to pass it on ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Happy birthday, Snowdrift Miracle (10/21)! When a char isn’t even...”

I'm still not over this

we will never be over them I assure you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “@pixeldemographics dared me to do this, so I did it. This isn’t THE...”

AS IF I DIDN'T LOVE FICUS WAY TOO MUCH ALREADY

I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO TURN OUT THIS WAY (expect to also love Aur, Flame, Snowdrift, Tabasco and Shine a lot more at some point...just saying. Things might or might not be happening.)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

Remind me to never get on your bad side Annie xD

it’s...not hard? tbh. But I wouldn’t let it get this far unless it’s a repetitive thing XD plus I couldn’t be mean irl, worst thing I’d do is rant abt a nameless friend to another friend

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Nononono! You can’t do this! It’s illegal! Shine: I can’t do...”

I LOVE HOW SHINE IS ENJOYING THIS WAY TOO MUCH

tbh I ruined the poor innocent child

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Ugh! Neighbor, what is it! It’s not even late this time! Not...”

You shouldn't Salim

that doesn’t work Rosa we tried

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Do you see this face? This face is the face of someone who is up to no...”

All the Salims I know are assholes xD

OOOOO I NEED TO KNOW MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Uh, hi neighbor. S: Hey. G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G:...”

Also me whenever I'm with someone I'm not used to

same

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Uh…Opal, why are you crying? O: *sobs* I just…I just love Sprout so...”

Same

same

...xD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS CHILD

I KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “When she’d calmed down, I sent her to visit some old pals! I mostly...”

I guess this answered my question about not seeing Sprout Jewel and Bonsai anymore xD

evidently ;) and this isn’t the end either! Just you waittttt

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Flame is more than happy to see his son again!”

And I'm more than happy to see him

why am I not surprised XD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

I hope it's their tent and not the kids'

it was xD Sparkle and the girls shared the big one.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Look mum I brushed my hair!”

But seriously I feel like it's so hard actually find lasting friends from uni (but it's their loss if they ignore you)

is it rly tho? like it obviously hurts me too so it’s also my loss xD but yeah...I agree it IS difficult. I feel like ppl are at that point in life where they are no longer looking for permanent close friends?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It's really pretty ;-;

it is! I’m so glad I finally got to explore it a bit, the scenery is the best ;_; and my berry name for it is even better tbh.

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It looks like she's sniffing sun rays xD

AAAAAA THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERF GEN YELLOW THING I WILL CRY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “#tinybeanconfirmed”

I died.

do you think I didn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Do you…do you think I’m a bad mum? S: *gasps* Trellis, please… T:...”

Shine may deserve the worLD BUT YOU ARE THE WORLD TRELLIS ;________;

JDAHBSJHGBJSHGBAJKSHFBAKSJFANKSJGBANSKJGBDF

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Oh look at this! I love this movie, it’s so funny! C: But my cake…...”

Cake cannot wait

it’s wisdom

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

ALL THE KIDS TOGETHER

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

NOW THAT WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT IF GLOW WAS THERE

I KNOW AND I KNOW ;-;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Geoffrey? Hey, buddy! Wait up!!”

Worst case he'd die from the serum no big deal

well Shimmer is...still alive I think (okay yeah she is she’s in the posts later)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Their flat is ACTUALLY haunted. Pathi is good with ghosts though,...”

I still can't believe they actually love the fact it's haunted ._.

they’re really into this stuff xD my little adrenaline junkies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

THIS OH MAN THIS

I KNOW (you’ll love the next bit of the queue)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: 8D

He always look so suave I love him

you think? ;_; cause he isn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Have I ever told you that you’re an idiot?” “Not in the last twenty...”

This shot of them is too good too beautiful I can't

AAAAAAAA ;_; I was so disappointing cause I wanted a different pose but I think in the end this WAS a great one so...yeah. Why did I start this again?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Hi! Thank you for adopting me! Everyone else said I’m too...”

YOU'RE NOT TOO BOISTEROUS YOU'RE PERFECT

SHE IS BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “yes simself cameo judge me”

Look at that smile ;-;

she’s too pretty it’s not okay

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Dear diary! Tomorrow I’m getting a new sister. Her name is Glade and...”

Connie you pure child ;____;

SHE IS MY MOST NAIVE BABY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “a mad bab”

I wanna pinch her cheeks

dude me too but in that moment she’d have hated you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Coexisting peacefully.”

I love how it seems that Shine is tenderly laughing at Trellis for being a goof and that's just way too fucking cute I can't ;________;

sjhfbjsakhjbgsjgdskjdf

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

TRUE

IDK WHAT TO REPLY ANY MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A wonderful glitchy family.”

It looks very painful xD

and beautiful

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “The many faces of Ficus Elderberry, bonus Snowdrift.”

I SAY THIS ANYTIME I SEE HIM BUT HIS FACE

HE HAS ONE YES JUST IMAGINE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “I apologise for the German, but basically, Malachite keeps messaging...”

HE'D BETTER FEEL GUILTY

I’d say something but it’d be spoilers

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Some miraculously good ice cream!”

Now I wanna eat some

not me I’m so cold

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

CAN I HUG THIS CHILD PLS

I WISH YOU COULD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Browsing parenting forums!”

Me (except I'm not pregnant and I don't even have lover)

I think google probably thinks I’m pregnant all the time because I keep looking at names

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Annie of Green Cheeks says Hi”

The cutest chipmunk ;____;

brah nah

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “He proceeded to invade their personal space. At least he was quiet so...”

He's got a way with charming his new neighbors

not really...at this point they’re actual in game enemies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Oh yay here we go… S: Hey, neighbors! Could you please tone it down a...”

How.dare.he.compare.donut.trumpet.to.aur.

I was mad and now his char is ten times worse than he rly is

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: So you’re sure the Sparkles clan doesn’t need this flat any more?...”

Does that mean we won't get to see Jewel and Bonsai and even Sprout? :c

;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: I KNOW YOU WANT ME YOU KNOW I WANT CHA I KNOW YOU WANT MEEEEE-HEE...”

THE FACE HE'S MAKING TOTALLY MAKES IT UP FOR THE SONG

what do you mean this song is gr8 it sums things up just well

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Celebratory dancing!”

HOW CUTE IS SHE

VERY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Okay, I still feel kind of bad. It’s your parents’ closet after...”

and who knows what said parents did in that closet xD

...it’s confirmed they did A LOT and so did their grandparents

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Wait - Shine! Before you go inside! I, um, you know I’m not much of...”

These babies ;____________;

I know ;_;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “R: Glow!!!! Will you take me out? G: Uh, sure! I mean, I just got here...”

and I'm hopeless when it comes to him

good good he needs more fans always

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A: Take my hand, love, and never let go. F: Stop it, I’m gonna cry.”

I'm gonna cry too

I did tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º for Pointy?”

I hate beetroots too xD

I have a weird relationship with them...I love them but they must be very few

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º Flame!

I wanna eat his ice cream ;__;

I wanna eat everything vegetarian he makes because he’s so good (and watch him make it it’s a show)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “this doesn’t go with the storyline but lookit Sprout is so pretty”

I die every time I look at this beautiful child (and all the other beautiful children on this simblr let's be real)

;_________; DONT

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: Son! So good to see you around! How are you doing are you good?”

YES it's very good to see him around ;___;

as always ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Here’s a ton of Gabefaces cause I can’t choose one or two or three xD...”

oh man it's actually very nice to put faces on names xD

ohhhhh right this must be the first time you see his original self! I’m obsessed with his face tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Trellis! You came! T: Of course I did! It was no work at all to...”

my brain stopped at 'pretty face'

Shine’s too