#i figured out how to do the 'read more' link!!

[tehnakki]

OK ridiculous story about Heather and Alec.

So I was a HUGE Heather Alexander fan. I went to multiple ren faires up and down the west coast in high school when I'd hear she was going to be there. I met her multiple times. Was a ridiculous teenage faire groupie that would show up for every single set throughout the day and sigh over how pretty she was. And then she disappeared. I didn't hear of any events of hers for a season so I started trying to figure out what was going on. I think she posted a blog about going on an adventure or something. So I kinda shrugged, and then headed off to college. A couple months later I looked at her blog and saw the post linked above and was heart broken. I had ADORED Heather and I was so upset/frustrated that she was just passing on her mantel to some dude.

Yes, you read that right. I 100% did not realise that he had transitioned. I fully bought into the faerie story. It seemed reasonable. Yes, I was 19/20ish at this point.

Anyways, a couple years go by and I'm back in Vegas during the ren faire and I heard a familiar fiddle line. And there was Alec, fiddling just like Heather had, and singing her songs and it was like being sent back in time to a slightly different past. I danced and sang and hung out for a couple of his sets and towards the end of the faire that day I walked up to say hi! And he said hi back and "Haven't seen you in a bit, how you been?"

And now I'm fucking confused as hell. So I fall back on "faking it" (my normal response to social situations where I don't know what the fuck to do) and mention I've been at uni and am just back for the next month and he asked all the things you do of young college students and I answered them becoming more and more bemused about the whole thing and eventually convinced myself he must of confused me with someone else.

It was a sweet interaction and I think a friend snapped a photo of us and then dragged me off to whatever shenanigans we were getting up to.

And a couple years passed and I wasn't really able to make it to faires frequently, and I was now living in Scotland and wanted to go see the Uffington horse on a weekend trip with coworkers, so I looked up Uffington Horse cd on my ipod, and then though "huh, I wonder what Alec has been doing with Heather's music." So I look him up and it FINALLY FUCKING OCCURed TO ME that Alec WAS Heather. It was 20 fucking 16. It had been almost 10 years of me just believing that Heather gave her discography to some guy. Holy shit.

I still remember sitting there staring blankly at the wall while Pirate Bill and Squiddly played on repeat desperately trying to understand how I had so completely misunderstood the events of 2006.

Hey, fellow fantasy nerds, I invite you to vibe along to this lesser known early 2000s fantasy banger 

[lvnleah]

media leaks | no more secrets.

find the no more secrets masterlist here.

21 weeks + 5 days pregnant | March 18th 2025. 

You woke up to the sound of your phone vibrating against the bedside table, the continuous buzz pulling you out of sleep. Still half asleep, you blinked at the screen, confusion settling in as notification after notification flooded your lock screen. 

Twitter. Instagram. Even texts from close friends were there with links to videos. 

Frowning, you reached for your phone and unlocked it, your stomach flipping when you saw your name being tagged over and over again. Your heartbeat picked up as you clicked on the first link, taking you to a tiktok clip from Katie’s live.

At first, it seemed normal  Katie talking to the camera, answering questions or bantering like she always did. Then, in the background, you heard the front door open, followed by Caitlin and Kyra’s voices as they returned from shopping. 

Kyra’s voice was excited, giddy almost. “Katie, look how cute this would be for the baby!”

The live cut off immediately after, but the damage had already been done.

Your stomach dropped.

People were speculating already. The comments were filled with theories, some convinced it was Katie and Caitlin’s baby, others listing players who were injured but too many were pointing fingers at you. Twitter was going crazy. 

You scrolled, for what felt like ages, on Twitter as you read everyone's thoughts on the situation. You laid in bed, panicking about the whole thing, as you listened to Caitlin, Katie and Kyra downstairs. 

You weren’t home right now, you were at Katie and Caitlin’s house. Katie had let you take a nap before training while Caitlin and Kyra had gone to the supermarket to pick a few things up and obviously some baby clothes for your baby girl. 

Your breath hitched as you threw your phone down onto the bed. Your chest tightened.

It was too soon. You weren’t ready.

You wanted your pregnancy to be peaceful, something that you could keep your little secret with how public your life already was. You didn’t want everyone’s opinions on how you were too young, too immature and not ready to be a parent. 

You rushed downstairs where Katie, Caitlin and Kyra were sat in the kitchen. Caitlin stood in front of Kyra and Katie as the pair of them sat at the kitchen table. 

You barely registered their concerned expression as you gasped, “Kyra—Kyra said—she said ‘the baby’—people think—”

Your breathing turned shallow. The walls felt like they were closing in. You knew a panic attack was brewing, something you hadn’t experienced in a few years. 

“Hey, hey Hayden, breathe for me, yeah?” Caitlin said, guiding you over to a seat beside Katie before kneeling down in front of you. “It’s okay, just take deep breaths.”

You shook your head, tears bubbling in your eyes as your whole body felt like it was shaking, “No—No you don’t…you don’t get it. I—I don’t want everyone knowing they’re all going to—”

“Hayds I’m sorry—” Kyra tried to apologise before you cut her off. 

“No, Kyra.” You said with a shaky breath, “You—You don’t get it. I didn’t want everyone to know and now…now they’re all gonna be making assumptions about me and my baby!”

“They won’t even know it’s you, you don’t even look pregnant!” Kyra said, trying to make things better. 

“Gee thanks, Kyra! That makes me feel soooo good about myself and my bump!” Your voice dripped with sarcasm as you glared at Kyra, frustration bubbling over. “That’s not the point! The point is people are talking about someone being pregnant, and it won’t take them long to figure out it’s me!”

Kyra’s face fell, her usual playful expression replaced with guilt. “I didn’t mean—”

“I don’t care what you meant!” you snapped, standing abruptly. “I trusted you guys to keep this quiet, and now it’s all over the bloody internet!”

Katie sighed, “Hayden, I get why you’re upset kid, but Kyra didn’t do it on purpose—”

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “That doesn’t change the fact that it happened, does it?” Your heart pounded against your ribs as the panic inside you twisted into pure anger. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

You turned on your heel and stormed upstairs, slamming the door behind you. Your hands shook as you ripped open your bag, pulling out your training gear. You could still hear them talking downstairs, hushed voices filled with concern.

You got ready for training in complete silence, a silence that remained until you arrived at training. You didn’t speak a word to Katie, Caitlin or Kyra no matter how hard they tried to talk to you. You just blanked them and focused on the thoughts racing round your mind. 

Kyra kept trying. The entire car ride to training, she wouldn’t stop murmuring apologies, her voice getting smaller and smaller each time you ignored her. She was like a kicked puppy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Your chest still felt tight, the weight of everything pressing down on you.

When you arrived at the training ground, the shift in atmosphere was immediate. Everyone noticed the way you stormed in, your usual greetings absent as you just walked straight to the pyshio’s room. Each door closed with a bang. 

“Woahhh, what’s up with her?” Beth whistled, “She was fine when she left the house this morning.”

Beth’s comment hung in the air, the tension thick as everyone exchanged confused glances. Kyra, Caitlin, and Katie entered just moments later, all three of them looking like they’d just been through a war zone. Kyra, in particular, looked devastated, her shoulders hunched as she chewed at her bottom lip.

“What happened to Hayden?” Kim asked, concern laced in her voice.

Kyra opened her mouth, but Caitlin beat her to it. “It’s complicated.”

“Kyra messed up,” Katie muttered, crossing her arms.

“I didn’t mean to!” Kyra mumbled, guilt clear in her voice. “I didn’t know you were on live!”

Steph sighed, “What did you do now Kyra?”

Kyra hesitated. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet, glancing at Caitlin and Katie for support before sighing. “I—uh, I kinda… accidentally outed Hayden’s pregnancy.”

“Are you joking?” Kim’s voice was sharp, disapproving.

“Oh my God, Kyra,” Alessia whispered, eyes wide. “Of course you did!”

Lia let out a heavy sigh, rubbing at her temple. “You didn’t.”

“Oh my god, how?!” Beth groaned, “How did you even manage that?”

Kyra swallowed hard, avoiding their gazes. “It was an accident! I was excited about the baby clothes and I wasn’t thinking—”

“Hayden’s been stressing about this for weeks.” Steph sighed, “She’s young, she’s dealing with a lot already, and you just threw her into the deep end without even realizing it.”

Kyra opened her mouth, but Steph wasn’t finished.

“This isn’t just some stupid gossip,” Steph pressed. “This is her life, Kyra. And now, because of one careless moment, she’s probably having a breakdown while the internet picks her apart.”

“I get it, alright?” Kyra mumbled, her voice cracking. “I screwed up. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I really do care about Hayds.”

Steph exhaled sharply, her expression softening just a fraction. “Then fix it. She needs support, not excuses.”

Lia sighed again, her voice quieter. “Give her space first. She’s upset, and pushing won’t help.”

“I don’t think she’s speaking to any of you lot,” Beth added, looking toward Katie and Caitlin. “She practically ran in here like a bat out of hell.”

Katie sighed. “Yeah, we noticed.”

“We’ll keep an eye on her,” Kim assured. “Just… let her cool down.”

Throughout training, you only acknowledged the coaching staff, refusing to interact with any of your teammates. No one missed the way you shut down every attempt at conversation, how you barely reacted when someone tried to joke with you.

After finishing some light work in the gym, you found yourself wandering. Your legs carried you to the changing rooms, and before you knew it, you were sitting on the floor your, head in your hands.

It was all too much. The anxiety, the pressure, the way the walls felt like they were closing in again. You’d fought off the feeling earlier, but now, alone in the quiet, it swallowed you whole.

Your breathing hitched.

Your chest tightened.

Your vision blurred.

And before you could stop it, you were shaking, gasping for air as sobs wracked your body.

You didn’t hear the door open, you didn’t even know how long you’d be there for. You didn’t hear the footsteps. It wasn’t until Kyra’s voice rang out that you realized someone was there.

“Oh—oh my god, Hayds?”

You barely registered her kneeling in front of you before she scrambled back to her feet, panic laced in her voice.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I—I’ll get help! Just stay there.”

You heard her rush out into the hallway, and within seconds, another set of footsteps approached. You weren’t sure who it was, your mind had gone to a different place as thoughts rushed around. 

Everyone knew your secret now. 

What were they going to say?

How was everyone going to react?

Would this ruin your career? Was becoming a mother so young the end for you?

“Hayden,” Lotte’s voice was calm but firm as she crouched in front of you. “You’re having a panic attack, yeah? I need you to try and focus on me.”

Your breaths came in short gasps, your whole body trembling.

“Here.” She pressed a cold water bottle into your hands. “Take a sip for me, yeah? Just small sips.”

You did as she said, the cold liquid grounding you slightly.

“Good, good,” she nodded, her voice soothing. “Now let’s do the five things, okay? Tell me five things you can see.”

It took effort, but you forced yourself to look around. “Um…the bench. My water bottle. Your shoelaces…Kyra’s—Kyra’s socks. And…my hands.”

“Perfect,” Lotte said softly. “Now four things you can touch.”

You hesitated, still feeling out of control, but you forced yourself to focus, using the breathing exercises Lotte was guiding you through. 

“The w-water bottle,” you whispered, touching it with trembling fingers. “My legs… the floor… the edge of the bench.”

Lotte nodded, keeping her voice steady. “Good. Now three things you can hear.”

You strained to listen, the muffled sounds of the training ground outside just faintly audible. “Footsteps,” you said, your voice trembling. “The—the lights… People… talking.”

Lotte nodded. “Two things you can smell.”

Your nose twitched as you took a breath. “Sweat… and… shampoo.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Lotte encouraged. “Now one thing you can taste.”

“Water,” you whispered, the cold feeling on your tongue grounding you further.

“Good, Hayden,” Lotte said, her voice soft and warm. “You’re doing great. Just keep breathing, okay? I know everything feels overwhelming right now, but you’re here. You’re safe.”

It felt like an eternity, but slowly, you began to calm. The tightness in your chest loosened, though the tears still streamed down your face.

“I… I can’t do this,” you choked out, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’m—I’m not ready. This was all supposed to be a secret. I—I didn’t want anyone to know yet.”

Lotte’s expression softened, and she gave you a reassuring smile. “I know, kid. I know. But you’re not alone in this. You’ve got all of us, every step of the way.”

You swallowed hard, still feeling the sting of the overwhelming situation. You couldn’t stop the tears, but the panic had eased, and you felt the weight on your chest lift a little.

Lotte stood up, “I, erm, I’m gonna go get the doctor. Sit with her, yeah?”

Kyra nodded and sat down in front of you, for a moment it was just silence. Her face was etched with guilt as she spoke up.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said quietly, her voice breaking. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I should’ve known better. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You couldn’t respond immediately, the words still too stuck in your throat. The guilt in Kyra’s voice made something inside you soften. She wasn’t the cause of all of this, even if her mistake had set the chain of events in motion.

Kyra hesitated, then shifted closer. “Hayds… please. I’m so sorry. I never meant to make you feel like this. I messed up. I just—I got excited, and I didn’t think.”

“It’s not just about the slip-up,” you said softly. “It’s everything. The pressure. The expectations. The fear that I’m not ready, that I’ll fail.”

Kyra’s expression crumpled, and she slowly moved closer to you again, the space between you two small now. “You won’t fail, Hayds. You’re stronger than you think.”

“I know,” you whispered. “It’s just… everything feels so big right now. I just wanted to keep this to myself for a little longer.”

She shifted closer once again, now sitting on the floor beside you. She gently tugged at your arm until you gave in, leaning into her. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you closer. You didn’t say anything for a long time. You just let yourself breathe and allowed yourself to be held. 

Kyra didn’t push. She just held you, her fingers gently stroking your hair, a quiet, steady rhythm that made your anxiety feel a little more manageable.

“You’re going to be okay,” she whispered after a long pause. “We’ll figure this out together. Hey! I’ll even pretend to be pregnant.”

“Kyra, that’s ridiculous,” you giggled as she placed a kiss on your temple, “No one would ever believe that!”

She gasped, “Erm, they so would! I’d make a very convincing actor thank you very much!”

[pluvioloulou]

I Still Worship The Flame

Summery: After Eddie moves back to LA, Buck moves in with Athena. Still dealing with grief, the world starts to lighten up a bit more when she realises Buck is trying and failing to hide his boyfriend like a secretive teenager, sneaking through the house at night. (Inspired by this post from @tevanbuckley )

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,3k

Tags: Roommates, Buck and Athena are roommates, Implied Sexual Content, getting caught, Sneaking Around, Failing at sneaking around, Fluff and Humour, Loss, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Cooking, Slow Dancing, Mentioned Bobby Nash, Tommy Kinard Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, No Beta

( Ao3 Link )

~~<3~~

Locking her car, Athena walked up to the front door and slotted her key in. She felt dead on her feet, having just endured a shift from hell, her superiors feeling bad for her let her go early and she couldn’t be happier. All she wanted to do was get a glass of water and head to bed.

As she made her way to the kitchen, she heard rummaging around and a door closing upstairs, but it didn't make her reach for her gun anymore because she knows it’s just Buck.

After Eddie moving back to LA meant Buck had to find a new place to live, Athena offered him her guest room until he could find a place of his own, and admittedly, it was nice. She liked having Buck around, just having someone who reminded her so much of Bobby was something she didn’t know she needed, plus Bobby did a great job at passing his cooking skills onto the kid.

His presence put her at ease when she was having a bad night, even if his info dumping could get a little annoying, she was happy for the distraction when she was missing her husband.

Getting a glass out and filling it with water, she could now hear careful footsteps descending the stairs, not thinking anything of it, she pulled out her phone to read her messages.

A figure stopped right behind her, she could sense them and she knew it wasn’t Buck or an intruder, the security system would have picked up a problem if so. It sounded like said figure was slowly backing away, so she put her glass and phone on the counter and stood up straight.

“You think you could sneak past me and I wouldn’t notice?” And as she turned around, she was met with a wide eyed Tommy in nothing but his boxers.

“Tommy?!” She squawks, not expecting to be faced with Buck’s apparent ex-boyfriend.

“Uh, um, nice to see you again, Sergeant.” He slowly starts to back away again, like he wasn’t just caught in a police sergeant’s how half naked.

“Considering how much I see of you, I think ‘Athena’ will work just fine.” She teased, a hint of amusement in her tone having gotten over her initial shock.

Tommy coughed out an awkward laugh and moved his hands to cover his lower half, out of decency if anything, “I was just getting Evan a glass of water,” he smiled, but as soon as it appeared it was gone in realisation, “if that’s okay with you?”

Athena laughed, “Yes, of course,” she waved to the cupboard, “glasses are in there, help yourself, I’m going to bed.”

Tommy moved quickly, nodding, “Thank you.”

Athena continued laughing to herself as she walked off to her bedroom, and god knows she needed that laugh.

When Tommy made it back to Buck’s room in one piece, he gave Buck a serious look as he passed over his glass of water.

“What’s that face for?” Buck cocked his head, looking confused.

“When you said you had a roommate, you didn’t mention it was Athena!” Tommy did his best to shout in a whisper, not wanting to make a single noise now that he knows Athena is here.

“Well, yeah, this is her house.” Buck said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, causing Tommy to collapse on the bed with his head in his hands.

The next day, when it was just Buck and Athena, she didn’t even mention it.

But that was just the first time it happened.

The second time, she watched as Buck tried to quietly sneak Tommy out the morning after he had spent the night, not that she didn’t know he spent the night, they’re not as quiet as they think.

As they walked past the doorway to the kitchen-living area, whispering to one another, she cleared her throat. They stopped, frozen in place.

“Would you two like to join me for breakfast?” She asks them, she doesn’t want to make them think they have to sneak around when she’s home.

At her request, they shuffle wordlessly into the room and sit down where all the food is laid out ready. Eggs, fruit, toast, amongst some other things sat there waiting to be eaten.

“Well, help yourselves.” She smiles and hands them a coffee each.

They both mumble a thank you and dig in, but the silence and occasional clink of cutlery was slowly killing Athena.

“So,” she began, both of the men whipped their heads up at her assertive voice, “is there a reason you two are at my house and not Tommy’s?”

“It… Well, um, it was closer?” Buck gave her a sheepish smile, cheeks growing rosy.

“Couldn’t wait, huh?” She smirked into her coffee mug.

Tommy choked on a bit of food, he brought his fist to cover his mouth as Buck was quick to pat his back.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, I know the feeling,” she looked away and sighed, “I was like that once.” Buck was only a little horrified to hear that, knowing she was most likely reminiscing about his former captain.

Clearly having composed himself, Tommy sputtered a laugh at the look on Buck’s face and all he got was a frown back.

Buck turned back to Athena, looking as apologetic as ever, “It won’t happen again, we are so sorry.”

She waved her hand and pulled a face, “Nonsense, Buck, you live here, you are allowed to have people over,” she quirked her eyebrow at Tommy, “especially your boyfriend.”

Both boys laughed awkwardly, cheeks growing red, looking everywhere but each other, “We’re not-” Buck stumbled on his words. “Yeah, we haven’t-” Tommy tried to finish for him but couldn’t get his words out either.

Rolling her eyes, she watched the two fail miserably at covering up whatever they were doing together. “Give it up, boys, you two were made for each other, I’d be a little disappointed if you weren’t giving this another shot.”

They looked at her and then each other, a smile breaking out on both of their faces. They were so smitten with one another.

Buck turned back to Athena, smile dropping slightly, “You can’t tell anyone, not yet, we’re taking it slow.”

Her face morphed into a judgy stare and her hand landed on her hip, “Mhmm.” She hummed into her coffee mug at the words, ‘taking it slow’. After taking the last sip she put it down, “Why would I tell anyone, Buck?”

“I don’t know, you talk to Hen a lot.”

After breakfast, Athena got ready to meet up with May for lunch, and if Buck later got a call from May laughing down the phone about how he and Tommy traumatised her mom, well that was between them.

From then on, the sneaking around stopped. They didn’t need to hide in the house anymore and Athena made sure of that.

And just like Buck, Tommy was nice to have around, he was always ready to strike up a conversation with her about how her shift was and if anything needed to be done around the house. He was handy. Just like how Bobby was.

One evening, when Athena got back late, she saw the two men curled up on the couch watching some movie, but as she got closer she realised that Buck was fast asleep. His mouth was slightly open, face pushed up against Tommy’s shoulder as the older man stroked a hand up and down Buck’s side.

She quietly walked around them, grabbing one of her blankets she keeps stored near the couch and handed it to Tommy. He mouthed a “thank you”, draping it over them and the hand that was by his side was in Buck’s curls.

It was such a tender moment.

But, something deep in her heart ached at the sight.

There was another time where she had come back downstairs after a shower, ready for dinner, when she walked in on them being all in love.

A Frank Sinatra song played through Tommy’s phone as they swayed and danced together in the kitchen, Buck still wore his apron covered in the ingredients he put in the meal.

And that ache was right back in her chest in an instant.

However, she could admit it wasn’t always cute. One night after getting home early, she was greeted by Buck in nothing but an apron standing in the middle of her kitchen, his behind fully on display.

His yelp of fear summoned a concerned Tommy, who was yet again in nothing but his boxers. The sight was all too familiar, but she couldn’t remember from where.

“Am I going to have to start charging you rent too?” She sassed Tommy.

With her head in her hands, she made her way up the stairs. She didn’t have the energy to scold Buck for wearing his ‘kiss the cook’ apron for sex, or for seeing Tommy, yet again, in his underwear.

But that night she lay in bed with that damned ache again, and she didn't know why.

A few days after, as Buck was on his latest fun fact deep-dive, Athena walked out into the garden. She took a breath of fresh air and looked around at the empty flower beds, Bobby was supposed to fill those. He just didn’t have time.

Her eyes wandered over to the grill, still new and untouched, she had no clue how to work it well. Bobby knew. He was always so excited to pull out the grill when they hosted the 118 & co. barbeques.

She turned back to the glass doors and stopped.

In the soft evening light, Tommy was leaning over Buck's shoulder, speaking to him so softly and looking at Buck like he hung the moon and stars. Maybe to Tommy it really felt like he did. She knew that feeling once. But it was gone now, she lost it and it was replaced by an awful ache she can’t seem to shift.

That ache she has grown to know so well. The ache of a hole in her heart, a piece missing.

Lost in her own world of grief, she didn’t notice Tommy looking back, his eyebrows pinched together in worry. Giving Buck a kiss on the cheek, he made his way to Athena.

Siding up next to her, he lets his eyes drift over the garden, “It’s a beautiful space out here.”

“It was all Bobby, and the kitchen, these were his areas of expertise.” She pushed down the emotion that was inching its way up her throat, clawing to get out.

They let the silence fall over them, Tommy’s hand gently rubbing at her back, doing his best to give her the comfort she needed. He thinks he understands, when he thinks of Evan, losing him would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. But it hasn’t happened, so all he could do was think.

“Ya’know, I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this,” he moved in a bit closer to her, “I really looked up to Bobby, and I just wish I used my time with him to get to know him better, but,” he peered back inside where Buck still had his eyes glued to his laptop screen, “I can see how much he rubbed off on Evan, I’m grateful for that, because it’s like he gave him a piece of himself.”

When he looked back at Athena, her eyes were glossy and there was a faint smile. Sighing, she said, “He would be so proud that you and Buck made your way back to each other, proud that Buck has the love he deserves,” she laughed wetly, “you guys just remind me so much of how Bobby and me were, that’s how I know I’m right before you ask.”

Tommy holds his hands up in humoured defence, “I wasn’t going to,” he puts his hands down and into his pockets, “he would be so proud of Evan, he always was.”

Athena placed her hand on his arm, making him face her, “He would be, but he would also be proud of you,” she turned her face back to the empty flower beds, “you both have grown so much separately, don’t think I don’t remember you from your 118 days, and when you and Buck started dating Bobby would talk about how much you’ve changed, in a good way.”

She pulled away from him and sat in one of the patio chairs, “He always used to say he was a great matchmaker, maybe a little too good,” they both laughed softly, Tommy joining her on the chair next to hers, “and I say this, because, even maybe unknowingly, he shaped you both into the people you are today, my husband, he did that. He left his mark on this world and I couldn’t be more proud of everything he’s done.”

It was in these moments that Athena didn’t mind having Buck and Tommy intruding on her alone time, because in these moments, the joy of what she thought she completely lost comes back in quiet, gentle memories. Even if it’s catching them half naked. She couldn’t remember the last time she and May laughed like that when she told her daughter.

“He’d be proud of all of us.” Tommy simply stated.

“Although, I don't think he'd be very proud of you and Buck having sex in our kitchen, so maybe refrain from that in the future.” Tommy laughed, albeit the red in his cheeks putting his slight embarrassment of display, he genuinely laughed.

Athena just looked proud of herself for that one, “Yeah, maybe do it in your own.” She prodded, laughter bubbling up her throat and replacing the sadness that was there before.

~~<3~~

Tagged: @niraves @fanaticallyfleeky @okyum @tommylovingho @verschlimmbesserung @dana077 @buckleyyevan @hopefulcreatures @ironspiderdad12 @tyrusshipper12 @neotradpsyche @aristocratic-rats @hubcaphalo @ceeceekayblog @pointbreak-down @trustme-imnormal @weewookinard @sherlockismarvelous9-1-1 @theyaylady @peppermintquartz @wiay04 @weballingsad @rainstorms-by-june @cornerofspace @the-sweet-psycho @mars-wants-sleep @grimmsdead @ambee3 @maycontainsimonella @perfectlyscrumptiouswolf @ev-baker @onemorenerdhobbydarnit @notanother911blog @buckevantommy @dairxoxo @awkwardcoffeebean @aotearoagal @northernsnowdogs @houseofevanbuckley @ribbit-ribbit-mfer @itsnourm @lbltpsmspenguin

Man... that was a lot of tags, thank you <3

[the-moon-files]

That would be really awesome actually. I'm pretty really stressed atm, so I guess we could try a guide reader au with the links (my only real preference is Hyrule, but I like p much all of them so Hyrule + two others of your choosing) essentially forcing me to take a break. That's one thing in really bad at and I think if one of the links was like "✒️ anon. Dude. Go to bed rn. I'll supervise you and make sure. Don't play w me." I would actually listen cause I don't have the body strength or the mental capacity to really fight back.

Dw I am taking breaks!! I just got done taking a long, long 100 question final and I feel incredibly sleepy. Trust that after I post this ask I will be going straight to bed. Whatever you end up coming up with I promise I will read when I'm awake and more alert :)

-✒️

Ended up seeing this probably a bit late but here ya go ✒️ anon!! Im not sure when ur time zones are so i hope its still useful <3

☆

You'd been running around the camp for hours

Ever since joining back up with your beloved heroes, in the flesh now, you'd gone back to some of your video game habits interestingly enough

Stockpiling supplies, having 2 of everything, constantly refilling health potions or related items, etc.

The behaviour was all too familiar for all the Links, except now luckily enough, they were finally there in person to get ahold of you about it

You swayed as your cape pooled around your feet, blinking away your dry eyes as you shakily go for picking more mushrooms

Looking up and around you spot a few more plants to stock up on, and make a plan for which spots to hit first, and how much to grab but still leave some behind because you're still figuring out if hyrule works like earth in that you need to leave some plant behind so itll regrow-

"Get up."

You frown, looking around in confusion as you slowly deduce who and where to look, a calloused brown hand is suudenly at your side where youre crouched

You blink sleepily confusedly at it before following the tunic clad arm up and up until the fluffy head of dark blonde/maybe light brown hair and round eyes and pointed ears

Hyrule huffs a sigh, his eyes crinkling at the corners with concern, but otherwise lookimg veru firm as he thrusts his hand at your again

"Come on, up. Come with me. We've been looking for you for a bit, I knew you'd be out here."

You wave him off, saying somethinf about the plants and mushrooms and stockpiling before you hear a second long drawn out sigh and all of a sudden youre beinf hoisted under the armpits up into a standing position by the strong hero

You yelp as you sway, the blood rushing to your head as the fairy hero keeps you steady,

Wrapping an arm around your shoulders securely, he steadily guides his own Guide back to civilization (camp)

Youre stifling a yawn as you cant help but lean into your travelers hold, the ache of your muscles and the drag your eyelids fighting you and yet luring you in

You complain (slurring) at Rulie as he hushes you and boops you on your rounded ear

"I'm glad to finally be able to reach you in person now, so I can stop you from doomsday prepping. Sometimes you seemed even a little anxious or panicked when you'd do this. Sometimes it was way too late for you to be awake and pushing it this hard. Yeah, my dream is finally fulfilled, I can drag you to bed"

Hyrule chuckles, his arm tensing across you weary shoulders to squeeze you gently, you give up protesting now, knowing a losing battle when you see one

Its as you two break the treeline into camp that you realize just how much your heroes cared about getting you back, pulling you away from work and laid down

You blink tiredly as Hyrule guides you at your own slow pace, observing the camp as you do

The fire is small, still crackling, and although many are not sleeping yet, every blonde elf has found something peaceful and quiet to do, all migrated to their sleeping bags or the ground

Twilight perks up as he either smells or spots you two, reaching beside him to seemingly adjust little things to your tent

Hylians may be able to sleep upside down, sunshine or rain, on top of rocks or moss, but you needed a tent and somr padding to get anywhere near comfortable enough to sleep

The past 3 days had been rough on you as well, no tent or padding able to be acquired until they got closer to a town,

So this was the first time youre seeing your new bed situation

"Come on, almost there. The captain got a tailor in town to help make your tent and bed. Don't worry about taking a night shift, there's plenty of us to do it instead. ...hope you don't mind, but my sleeping bags in there too, since you said you prefer sleeping next to somebody."

You're barely processing anything he's saying at this point, only leaning more and more into the warm steady side his arm's pressed you into as Twilight pulls at the tent flaps to let you in

You begin to shakily take off your shoes, using Hyrule as support as he widens his stance to better keep you up, tilting unexpectedly the other way just before someone shorter than you slips under youd other arm

You jolt with the new support, trying to get your tired body to respond faster as another slightly buffer arm braces your back and Hyrule pulls at you from the other side to help as well

Four is quiet as he silently supports you, before making sure your sleepy self is braced enough for him to lean right down and pull your remaining shoe off, you blink, mind still at you falling over rather than updating to the now as you slowly come to slur out a thank you and you didnt have to do thats

Before Four is making a hushing sound and working with Hyrule and Twilight to finally get you in the tent

You see him slip to the other side of the outside of the tent, fgiving a goodnight, Twilight smiling and biddin you goodnight from the opposite side as you wouldve stumbled in if it werent for Hyrule catching you

He helps you lower down ti your sleeping mat, as you mumbled embarassed apologizes, while he shushes you and literally helps you get under the covers

He's whispering at this point, sliding under his own covers as he stays on his side and facing you the entire time,

"Four and Twi are on night shift tonight, and theyre vantage point is right outside your tent, so you dont have to worry about anything. And Im right in here in case you need anything too."

You sleepily blink, eyelids feeling swollen with tiredness as you are barely able to tip your head to the side to look him back in his dark blue eyes

You whisper back "thank you rulie"

He smiles softly back at you as your eyes droop

Youre half asleep and think youre imagining it as you feel somethinf warm and soft against your forehead

You fall fast asleep to Twi's shuffling, Fours quiet sniffs as he falls asleep first, and Rulie's body heat pressed to your side

"Goodnight"

☆

Hope that wasnt too late, i didnt see ur ask until way later!! Wrote as i was running arounf to get to work lol

Have a good night and hope youre taking care of yourself after exams!!

Peace out,

🌙

[zynp-krdg]

Someone else already corrected that Ibn al-Haytham didn't invent camera obscura but he was the first to understand the principle behind it and explain it. They even shared a link. He IS known as the father of modern optics. Sorry I made that one mistake and it was too late to edit when I noticed it. I mentioned it in the comment I made, you could find the person who corrected me from that comment and reach the link. And about Al-Khwarizmi, he did demonstrate completing the square to solve quadratic equations. Even the wikipedia page for "completing the square" specifically points him out.

I did my best to try and summarize these as best as I could and picked figures I thought would be the most interesting to read for people. I had to skip some scholars that I wanted to talk about and many things the scholars I mentioned did, to keep it simple and short.

And yeah, every civilization has its start, its peak, and its end. The Golden Age of Islam is no exception to that. There were great Muslim scholars who came after the Golden Age too (in the Ottoman Empire and other places), but not as many, because a place like Baghdad never came after that. It was one of the most populous cities, and when the Mongol Empire invaded, they slaughtered more than a million people. Libraries were burned, they tortured scholars to death. They demolished the dams on the Tigris and the Euphrates that the Abbasids had built up over a period of five centuries, depressing agriculture and slowing population and economic recovery for many centuries. Like obviously they couldn't just recover and keep doing maths. I think the loss of those libraries and that knowledge is one of the saddest losses in history.

There was also Al-Andalus alongside Baghdad, another incredible (almost unrivaled, Al-Andalus is genuinely fascinating) civilization. (711-1492) And when you consider how Europe built its riches by exploiting and occupying other countries, you gain another perspective on how it might've been more luxurious and comfortable for them without having to work as hard, in the simplest words.

And yes, Muslim polymaths were inspired by not only India but also Greece, Persia, Egypt, they translated many of their works too. Muslim scholars properly credited their predecessors and built upon what was already discovered, unlike Europe, which advanced thanks to the knowledge they got from Muslim scholars, yet a big majority of people don't know now. Some people in a subreddit might know these things but in general education/academia, they are not talked about. Many people genuinely don't know and they can't know if no one teaches them, and this is a good opportunity to do so.

Thanks for the additional information, this was fun. I quite like this post because of the information everyone has been sharing.

was talking to my mom about how white people ignore the contributions of poc to academia and I found myself saying the words "I bet those idiots think Louis Pasteur was the first to discover germ theory"

which admittedly sounded pretentious as fuck but I'm just so angry that so few people know about the academic advancements during the golden age of Islam.

Islamic doctors were washing their hands and equipment when Europeans were still shoving dirty ass hands into bullet wounds. ancient Indians were describing tiny organisms worsening illness that could travel from person to person before Greece and Rome even started theorizing that some illnesses could be transmitted

also, not related to germ theory, but during the golden age of Islam, they developed an early version of surgery on the cornea. as in the fucking eye. and they were successful

and what have white people contributed exactly?

please go research the golden age of Islamic academia. so many of us wouldn't be alive today if not for their discoveries

people ask sometimes how I can be proud to be Muslim. this is just one of many reasons

some sources to get you started:

but keep in mind, it wasn't just science and medicine! we contributed to literature and philosophy and mathematics and political theory and more!

maybe show us some damn respect

[rei-ismyname]

Teen Cyclops gets hit with EMOTIONS 🫠😭🤩🥹😬🥴

AKA I get emotions too, linking and contrasting theory + my disability experience with Scott's.

Yung Cyke is loving his time away from the X-Men and the freedom it allows him to *loosen up.* Lacking context, The Champions view him as repressed and phlegmatic in the extreme. They're right, but he's not an old man - he's just a kid who went from constant trauma to a life of intense responsibility. I think Seinfeld is cringe, but I'm aware that many many people enjoyed it. Scott liking it is more a sign of his time displacement than anything else, though I do wonder if he identifies with any of the characters. Hints of Costanza, most likely. Not sure any are a great fit - what do you think? Newman?

Anyway, my point is that he is benefiting from his newly expanded social circle but The Champions are not Danger Room kids. They don't know that this IS Slim getting out of his comfort zone. A fake moustache isn't the most complicated costume, but you'd never see 'leader of the X-Men' Scott do it. He probably wouldn't even join them, assuming Chuck let them out for Halloween. Kamala and Miles want to see get inside that brain - let's see how they respond when they get their wish.

The catalyst is this jerkoff - Psycho Man. He's a long story, let's just simplify it by saying that he has a machine that fucks with people's emotions. He's using it nefariously until Scott blasts it to pieces and demands his surrender. He flees instead, but Scott has been affected by it and opens his Pandora's Box of repression.

The Champions know something is off when Scott abandons his indoor voice and starts ... acting up. When he smashed the machine some feedback hit him right in the pineal gland or hippocampus, unlocking his emotions on a primal level. Anger and adrenaline flood through him and everyone realises they're in for some X-Men shit. Well, they don't know that at all actually, but the vibe of a dam about to burst is clear and present.

Peppy would be proud.

They still let him fly the team vehicle, perhaps unwisely. Scott really enjoys the freedom of flying - 'no responsibility, no one complaining or making you feel bad.' I wonder what he's referring to with those awfully specific things. No time to worry about that because Scott leans into it and does a barrel roll, scaring TF out of everyone.

They wisely get him off the stick and Kamala brushes it off as 'goofing.' That really sets him off into a shame spiral, though I don't think they truly internalise that this bit is not exactly exaggerated. 'I'm not allowed to screw up. I can't make a single mistake ever! I can't ever let anybody down. If I do then what good am I?'

None of these people know Charles Xavier very well, but if they did they'd probably slap him. I feel like this is the moment when they connected young Slim to the guy that killed Xavier while possessed by the Phoenix. The fact that he's a nosy telepath who raised Scott exacerbates the Fridge Horror. The unhealthy mantras and the beliefs informing them had to come from somewhere, and Scott himself learning about that 'loss of control' didn't have the same shock as the rest of the O5. My reading is that he was offended and embarrassed by the idea he'd lose control - like it's a failure of character.

After seemingly getting a hold of himself and being quiet for a while, Scott openly expresses fear. The team is confused so he elaborates. He's scared of himself, scared of his eyes, scared of losing control. He's scared of killing anyone let alone his father figure. Pathologically terrified, even, and it occupies his every waking moment. He doubts their friendship while lamenting how people see him, without denying his hypervigilance and how it isolates him.

Scott wants to be social and carefree but he doesn't feel like he's allowed to. I can relate. My disability doesn't have the power to hurt people (except myself through inaction or accident) but it's isolating AF and requires hypervigilance every moment I'm awake. People, even close friends and family, don't take it seriously and that sucks. Blame and pressure exacerbate the difficulty of managing my functionality, and round and round it goes. 'What's stopping you?' is a familiar refrain, no matter how many times I explain it. It's exhausting.

Isolation is one aspect of the disability experience - it informs and intersects with exclusion, often passively. There's rarely anyone directly saying 'you can't do this thing;' it's often the way the world, society is constructed - for the able bodied. Nothing fits, or allows you to fit. I know I grieve my former degree of functionality and the things I simply can't participate in. I became disabled at 28, and I'm sure there's nuance for folks born with disabilities or that get worse over time - but I can't speak to that lived experience. No matter what though, as Scott says, 'it just takes.' His 'unable to cry' statement is one I don't recall hearing before this run, but it casts Scott's decades of emotional clodes-offness in a new light. It's a strong character beat that fits seamlessly with his established behaviour and publication history. I usually don't get so personal in my analysis but woof - this hit me HARD. The combination of resentment and hypervigilance over my body and how it is perceived is particularly close to home. So too is sharing with sympathetic friends - they get it, but they also don't.

Round two with Captain Fucko happens while Scott is still affected, and he dips the fuck out. The action is truncated by Tumblr's image limits but his love and protectiveness kicks into overdrive and manifests violently - nearly killing Psycho-Man. Kamala has to step in with the disability aid assist, though it's nice nobody judges him. After letting out all the emotions and optic blasts he has Scott is tapped and falls unconscious.

Even this act of vulnerability, putting himself in other people's hands, is fraught. I'd find that difficult without a checklist of invisible needs to consider, and that's a lot of labour to expect from someone else. Emotional AND physical. That in turn breeds guilt and resentment, as nobody can be a carer forever and negotiating any period of carer/caree relationship is incredibly challenging. The power dynamics and your needs as labor can poison the closest relationship. Nobody wants to be dependent, or even a burden, but needs are needs. Many go without.

It's a little ambiguous if Scott remembers the events of the day, but it's heavily implied he does. He's not embarrassed, per se, but The Champions didn't opt in to Scott Summers trauma dumping and giving them an out is gracious. It's his feelings and they're valid, but they were forced out of him by an attack.

I daresay the team understands what makes Scott tick a lot better, and nobody gives him shit for being uptight after this. The above panel is supplemental, but I think it fits perfectly. I believe it was an overall cathartic experience for Yung Cyke - it feels good to let out every now and then.

The flipside of never talking about it again is that it really is easier to just not engage with disability whether they're close to you or not. It's labour however you slice it and in my experience the reality of permanent disability is depressing to think about. The reality that you're not going to get better is outside context for most, fortunately. That's part of what makes it labour, work. Personally I have found it hard to not be resentful, frustrated, and jealous of having the privilege of not thinking about it. I work to not make it other people's problem, balancing that with the support that's offered.

The majority of my close friends these days are disabled themselves, and navigating that paradigm with two or more people is exponentially more difficult. Some days I don't have the energy to give and vice versa, so I definitely get it. Putting it into action is another story, but balancing needs and availability is part of any relationship. The well-meaning group conspiracy of silence in the last panel (probably) isn't realistic, but it can certainly feel like it. If you got this far, thanks for reading! This is not the post I set out to make, but sometimes it just flows out of you. I'm glad it did, as I need to apply a disability theory lens to my writing more often. The theory and the personal would ideally be further apart, but I needed to get this out. ❤️

[caifanes]

this is the LAST time im discussing the poker game before i lose the plot. aka "Ukyo was right but still underestimated Gen's insanity"

i’ve been made aware that some believe gen was scheming (or planned the outcome) in the poker game. it was not my initial (or secondary or tertiary) read of the situation because gen clearly kept most of his motivations and feelings to himself but i have been blindsided before so i decided to analyze it with this lens.

logistically, it was a double bluff. gen was working for ryusui but in a way was still working towards the outcome senku wanted most (a diffusion of conflict between the opposing sides and senku’s choice winning). the only way for that to happen would be to afford his services to ryusui and allow senku to beat him. rigging a contest is always an option on the table but gen came to the conclusion that senku couldnt be directly involved, PLUS he would also be able to tell if gen wasn’t trying honestly to win so he put real effort into winning-- for the loss to be more honest, he essentially put his trust in senku to come out on top. the question then becomes what was the real conflict of this fight? the conversation occuring in the game wasnt between senku and ryusui, it was between senku and gen.

after senku wins, ukyo calls this out as someone who has closely observed their dynamic in private settings. he assumes that gen predicted the benefits of either side winning but if that was truly the case gen wouldnt have needed to get involved. in the image ukyo brings to mind gen is in between senku and ryusui, but very clearly on senku’s side.

Gen's response is to brush off this theory and deflect but he does offer a real response. at first i believed gen was forlorn because he came to a painful conclusion about their dynamic from this moment forward, interpreting the loss as a kind of rejection, but it's far more complicated.

i felt similarly to senku when gen chose ryusui, he was pissed off and that was a genuine reaction. but how could gen have done something for senku’s sake without telling him? well, he factored senku’s frustration/response because at every opportunity where senku has to act he doesn’t do it convincingly. that final shot of senku tells me that even though he won, something shifted in their perception of each other. we never really come to understand what he thought but if i continue my line of logic, maybe he figured out that gen manipulated him and was feeling some type of way bc of how gen predicted the way things would play out.

but that's not the only betrayal that takes place. this language of surprising each other or tricking the other is natural to them, and there is also varying amount of power exchange when this occurs. it’s bad enough that the generals were opposed and created a rift between the entire crew, but senku was also fighting to get gen back on his side. he’d probably rationalize it by assuming that this is his one chance to assure gen never attempts to go against him again in the future. a necessary and maybe anxious move on his part as they move to this next stage in the americas. he very visibly and confidently reasserts his power. in other words, he’s talking in a language that speaks specifically to gen. with this win, senku re-established whatever weird claim they have on each other. somewhere underneath that layer of what it meant for him to “win” is that deep devotion that links them together and they'll never talk about that seriously, only with these indirect, absurd mind games.

because heres the thing: gen did trick him.

when senku and ryusui give their reasoning, senku makes it very clear that they need to get there in time for the kingdom to make use of the corn for all the revival fluid they need.

in ukyo’s theory he concluded that the outcome wouldn’t have mattered regardless of who won. but i think that’s wrong, externally gen expresses that the REAL part was the game, he leaves the rest up in the air because its too intimate, those are feelings and thoughts he's rather keep to himself, or the person who completely saw through him. because when he's on his own, in the belly of the beast, this sick little fuck is thinking about THIS outcome. the pleasure he gets from being able to do something selfish, completely unburdened by moral, all for senku's sake.

i struggled with the idea that gen planned this bc i thought senku MUST have been in the know. but i realize now that not only did he not know, that's where the impetus of the conflict. sometimes gen doesn’t know what senku is thinking! he’s skilled but he’s still human, the important conclusion to draw from most situations that explore their dynamic is that even if they can’t 100% predict what the other person will do, they still completely trust that the other person will act in accordance to the current goal. they're sick freaks.

[ponytailzuko]

"adrien jr is aware of chat noir because he gets brought back in the middle of mayhem when gabriel just made the wish and marinette & adrien are obviously freaking out. i can go into that more but tldr: he needs an explanation on why it is 6 years in the future, why everything has changed, and how he was possibly cloned. i imagine he finds out eventually just because its so fucking complicated it would be harder to keep it a secret."

CAN. can we have the. Not long enough; PLEASE let me read Explanation of this?

HI!!! okay so context: i made this au at the end of season 3. we had nooo idea how the agreste arc would end at all. this was purely me speculating + building off of information given in season 3.

i assume by the ask, longer is better. i will assume this, because i don't know how to cut off my thoughts and i LOVE yapping. under a read more because it gets kind of long?

so basically, this was me speculating how the story might end after season 3 and they defeated hawkmoth. sometimes id be like "is this too dark for a kids show" and then i remember they added the magic slave baby plotline so im allowed to do whatever i want.

i had basically a season built in my mind before the wish ever happened: adrien starts getting hints that there's something seriously off about his father, and he starts investigating. he eventually gets caught in the basement pilfering around in there, and gabriel tries to appeal to adrien by showing him the dead body of his mother. there's a very long manipulative spiel, but adrien is very insistent that his father being hawkmoth is wrong. gabriel, needing adrien to keep quiet but not wanting to hurt him or get rid of the last thing his wife ever left him, gives him a gag order not to tell about this to anyone. adrien, a sentimonster, can't disobey.

he goes to school like normal. he talks to ladybug like normal. but he can't tell her what he knows. adrien gets more and more desperate. as adrien is more monitored because gabriel is paranoid about adrien telling others and somehow breaking the order, it becomes more apparent that chat noir doesn't show up when adrien is being watched. gabriel figures out adrien has the ring, asks him for it, then doesn't ask so nicely. there's a whole exchange here, but it eventually ends up with chat blanc.

the akuma is in his miraculous, and he's the only one with the cataclysm to be able to break the ring at all. (this is an english dub rule apparently but i did not know that when i made this au so forgive me?) gabriel says this is his "final akuma" and that he'll reverse his mistakes with the wish. he promises he won't fail this time. sunken cost fallacy etc. it'll all be fine. (it will not all be fine)

chat blanc, instead of destroying the world, is scouring the paris skyline for ladybug. other heroes try to help, but chat blanc destroys almost all the other miraculous BESIDES the ladybug. gabriel keeps asking adrien for any info on ladybug, but adrien responds by simply destroying any memories before he has to fulfill the order.

marinette keeps getting strange dreams, and ladybug keeps finding hints about adrien's identity left behind by chat blanc. eventually, she figures out that if she really tries, through the miraculous and their close partnership, maybe she can share dreams with chat noir and unakumatize him that way. there's a whole mindscape episode where ladybug restores a lot of adrien's destroyed memories and adrien uses the black cat miraculous to destroy the link between him and his amok that makes him have to follow orders - and he's unakumatized.

they both detransform, unable to transform again after using the powers so long. gabriel tries to order adrien to give him the miraculous, but commands no longer work. gabriel, realizing that adrien exists outside of the amok, goes "oh shit my son is an individual. thats my SON." he goes "i can fix it" and finally gets the miraculous from the both of them exhausted and unable to fight back. of course, gabriel is still gabriel, even confronted with all the damage hes done. so gabriel gives up his own life to bring his first son back, instead of doing what he originally planned which was adrien for adrien. when he uses the wish, the ladybug and black cat miraculous break too.

adrien jr wakes up to paris in ruins, all the miraculous besides the butterfly/peacock destroyed, and no miracle cure. marinette and adrien sr are fucking EXHAUSTED and just staring gawking. adrien jr is like "whuh." and then you know. also passes out.

the only miraculous left are the butterfly + the peacock.

in the original plan, i had emilie also brought back in exchange for nathalie. emilie would want the miraculous herself in a "i have not learned my lesson from my husband at all, i'll continue where he failed. he must have fucked something up but i'm built different" because i love the agrestes and how they do the same stupid bullshit because they can't help themselves from repeating patterns over and over. and she attempts to try to restore the ladybug and black cat miraculous before marinette and adrien can. so adrien jr would be a part of that plotline where he's torn between clinging onto his mom and helping marinette & adrien with defeating her. i see him stealing the butterfly from emilie and akumatizing one of them and going "u-um!!! hi!!! how does this thing work-" LOL.

[amplexadversary]

Yeah, this fucks. A few notes from my experience:

-Start on whatever version # the FAQ says is the latest - the link up top is outdated and the game's creator has clarified a *lot* of rules since the version in this post, and optimized the fog clearance.

-Clicking on fog of war cells to solve or write in them is expected of the player, reading the rules blurb for them is where you risk seeing something that you're not supposed to yet. If a cell is de-fogged, you're good to read it the rules and flavor text in it.

-Note that you can get a more detailed explanation of unlocked tools by clicking on them in the top left corner of the puzzle.

-I concur that Boss #1 absolutely sucks if you're not used to the guess, check, record method, because you need to be able to do it to solve the puzzle. Absolute Capra demon. Just a totally non-indicated skill gate. The game wants you to get used to noticing options that you can rule out after pursuing.

-You will want a separate place to record what you've tried* when you tackle bosses, and what ''alternate timeline'' you are currently working on, as well as the occasional complex bit of logic you don't want to have to re-figure out (like, "these are all the combinations of three numbers that make 21," so I have a limited list of options to strike out.")

-When Guide Thermo says it needs the numbers in the line to increase, that does *not* mean "in sequence," they usually skip numbers (like, 1-4-6-7-8 is valid.)

-The site is indeed very good at saving your progress, though if you clear your cookies often, it doesn't hurt to screenshot the current state of your puzzles (and completed state of boss puzzles) as a means of "saving" your game.

-There is a boss gimmick that had what to me was somewhat ambiguous language. When you see reference to a snake, its segments have to share a side to connect. Additionally, two segments connected to the same third segment don't count as diagonal to each other (like, if you look at an "s" or "z" tetramino from Tetris, I'm talking about those kind of shapes.)

-There is some flexibility to the order you work through the grids in, but the rules being knowledge-gated means that the FAQ does have spoilers if you start checking the hints carelessly (ask me how I found that out). If you're well and truly stuck between two ways to go, you should favor the grid with the lower number.

*I use my laptop's sticky note program, but anything that works, works. I also like to plop in a big annoying color somewhere on the grid when I'm ruling options out, so that when I hit a dead-end it will be really obvious when I back up to the point where I started on that.

Sudokuvania: Digits of Despair is one of the most impressive works of pure game design I have ever seen.

Before I say anything else, I am going to be talking about a game that is VERY new and has pretty terrible search optimization, so in case this blog post somehow came up near the top of results for someone, here is the as-of-this-writing-current 1.02 release, and for good measure, here is the official FAQ page with the full version history, any future patches, and an FAQ for some of the more confusingly worded stuff that crops up later into the game. Now on with the praise-heaping!

So... Sudokuvania pretty much exactly what the name implies. It's a -vania, that is, a Metroidvania, and specifically one styled after one of the ones that's actually in the latter Castlevania series so that naming convention actually makes sense. Exploring a big castle, fighting bosses, getting various items letting you explore more areas, maybe breaking out of the borders of the map to find cool secrets here and there.

Also, it's a variant of sudoku. And I don't mean someone sat down with some videogame designing toolkit and made a videogame where some of the gameplay is solving logic puzzles on a grid you fill with numbers (I mean, I guess technically I do). I mean that link to the game I posted takes you to a website with a little built in standard app for solving sudoku puzzles and weird variations thereof, and the particular puzzle it's pointing to, somehow, manages to have a big map to explore, boss fights, special items that give you new powers, NPCs, and for good measure, fog of war. It is, again, an absolutely amazing hacky thing and I'm flabbergasted at how well executed it is. Now you're probably wondering how that even works, and that's why I'm writing this big gushy blog post. Here's what you see when you first load it up:

You're going to notice there is some absurdly small and kind of important text you can't possibly read, and that's because again, this is kind of a hacky thing this site so was not designed for. So it's kind of annoying but if you access this through the proper introduction page, it'll explain that the first thing you need to do is click the little gear icon in the floating tool palette, toggle on Visuals: Draw arrows above lines and Disable emoji replacement, then scroll all the way down to Experimental and turn on Test Large Puzzle UI. That enables you to zoom in and out with the scroll wheel, and right-click drag to pan around. It's... a little clunky because again, this website was NOT built for this, but tada, now you can zoom in, read the text, and start solving at a reasonable size. Then there's a couple gameplay concepts it does its best to explain, but... most people I've shown it to myself included needed extra explanation of a couple important early concepts. So let me just do a little color coding here to make this easier to get...

The map is not, in fact, one great big grid. It's 9 squares (and one rectangle that's not quite square over on the east side). Each of these is its own 9x9 Sudoku grid (well, the starting one is 6x6 and has those mutant 2x3 cells instead of the usual 3x3, and there's that weird eastern mutant). If you're solving stuff in one square, you completely ignore everything outside that square, except for where they overlap, in which case the numbers you're placing have to fit for both puzzles. So if we look at the light grey/green intersection on the left, those three overlap cells respectively can't be 4 6 or 5 (and whatever use you deduce in the grey box, but the pure green cells completely ignore all that, you're just focusing on the green 9x9 (which is going to have the overlap as a starting point, naturally).

The next bit that through me off a ton is the way fog of war works. Let me reasonably zoom in and do a little solving here. One second...

Here's the whole starting area all marked up to hell like you do when you're kinda bad at Sudoku and don't know how to spot a starting point. Penciling in little numbers in the corners. You'll also notice a that... most of the map is covered in this dark grey fog of war. A lot of in-game stuff mentions that you shouldn't go clicking out into the fog of war, because it'll show you names of later areas and preview certain special rules and all, but that's talking about clicking WAY off from what you can see. You are 100% allowed to solve stuff out in the fog of war, and it's pretty stingy about de-fogging. Don't go blindly guessing because then you can maybe end up sequence breaking but... yeah. Sorry I'm spoiling the Front Gate, it's basically the tutorial though. Anyway, first move is obvious, only one place we can put that 6, and suddenly...

Tada, important space so it rewarded us with a little fog clearing. You can also see that this will handily point out stuff in your pencil notes that can't be true, but only if A- it's untrue for standard sudoku reasons not special stuff, and B- it's not in the fog of war (or on the other side of some. You also maybe noticed that weird green thing under that first hint 6? That's something we need a tool for, you don't worry about it until you have that tool. Solving this out some more...

Little more de-fogging, both of the puzzle area and the margins where we're getting new information on playing the game in general. Now right here if you're observant, you'll see that bottom right corner has to be a 6. It's out in the fog of war, but you can mark it if you know what it is. And...

I was cropping it out before but the big purple number pad is always floating off to the side there, and the green text box over it, which among other things has an area name and flavor text for whatever grid you're in. This won't ALWAYS happen when you place numbers in fog of war, but there was a trigger on this 6 to load in a little piece of the first real area, and oh hey, we unlocked "Guide THERMO!" That's our first tool, and it's described up in the upper left.

So tada, from here out in addition to standard sudoku stuff, you've got these "bronze Guide THERMOs" that show up here and there and have this extra rule. You basically never get free numbers in the grid past the Front Gate, it's all slow-marching into new areas using what you're bringing in plus some easy starting examples of how your new tools work, plowing on from there. The fog of war is pretty stingy but it keeps you focused. You'll also notice the rules here mention bosses, all the 9x9 ones have one. It's clearly marked, and you should PROBABLY expose it from the fog first, but any time you're in the area really you, if you scroll around in that green text box or hit the rules button when in a grid, there's a link you can click to go fight it. The boss fights are all separate puzzles (site's good about auto-saving so don't freak out if it takes over your tab and you have to hit back after). These are very themey, sometimes VERY evil (especially boss #1, feels a bit overtuned) self-contained 9x9 puzzles, probably using the same tools their area is themed around, and I don't think there's a single pre-placed number in any of them. Beat the boss puzzle, it gives you some flavor text and a number to place in its cell back in the main castle puzzle, plug that in and you're always going to unlock something cool. Usually a new item, sometimes other weird stuff, and it just goes on like that.

Don't expect to be able to fully solve a given grid in one go. It's a Metroidvania, backtracking is expected. Even if you've fully de-fogged a grid, later stuff might reward you by straight up adding new symbols you couldn't see before or doing weird stuff with fog. It IS all solvable with pure logic... but there ARE a few places that do that thing I hate in tougher sudokus where you just kinda have to pencil in in a different faction and explore 2 possible futures for a bit to see which eventually contradicts itself. And of course the last couple of grids do some really evil mind-bendy stuff.

But yeah aside from a couple gripes where the way a tool works could maybe be a lot more grammatically clear, that first boss being a lot to deal with as you're first getting your feet wet, and a particularly cruel twist later on, I don't really have any complaints. Well, it might need a cool soundtrack. Maybe play some Castlevania music. Maybe switch it up for some real proper boss music when you're nearing victory.

Again I am just completely blown away that someone made something so meaty in a standard sudoku site's normal UI, and really managed to make it feel so much like playing a DS Castlevania. Some real proof of game design being an art form here. And now you too can just completely lose a day or two to it!

[six-improbable-things]

I had to open the ship combat rules doc I made for Rook's campaign the other day, and man, that thing was (and still is tbh) my fucking magnum opus. I put so much effort into creating rules for a type of combat that dnd doesn't naturally support, and it was SUCH a fun challenge. I'll admit it's not perfect, but it works for our campaign, and everyone seemed to like it during our one test so far, so that's good enough for me.

I think between the stat blocks, the rules themselves, and the maps of the ships, I spent easily 48 hours total on making this sailing arc happen. (No, I'm not the DM, I just like homebrewing shit, and also happen to be the one who decided to play a pirate and make that involved in the story.)

[lia404]

"Ai, living has no answer."

"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.

If there are no absolute, then what's left?

Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.

That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.

That's what life is.

I have to do that forever?

Yes.

That's a lot of work.

Yeah.

I'd need to be so strong.

That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.

You can't rush living."

So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.

[keylovesstuff]

Little Events

Omg It's a Key Post you guys know what that means...I'm sharing another story hehe.

AO3

FFN

Toadsworth had returned home from finishing the last of his errands at about nine that night, taking great care in making as little noise as possible. Slipping off his shoes, he placed them next to the other little pair by the door and then headed over to the couch to turn on the lamp. As predicted, It was left unoccupied with the exception of Peach's purple blanket and a couple of books still open. The older mushroom let out a small sigh and shook his head, first folding the blanket and laying it on the back of the couch and picking up the books to take to his bookshelf. One thing that he's learned about taking care of a child for the past two years, was that no matter how many times he would tell her to clean up after herself once finished using something or leaving an area, it never got done. He took great pride in making sure his house looked perfect, that nothing was out of place and other than a few other factors, being messy was definitely in the top five reasons why he did not want kids of his own. Peach, out of all the others, had chosen to be with him though and at such a small age and that had meant a great deal to him even if he never voiced it outloud.

Other toad parents promised him that with age, kids would be better at picking up after themselves. However, he was slightly doubtful as these same people still talked about how their older kids would leave their rooms and other areas of the house from time to time. Peach would be different though, It was his goal to raise a proper young lady in every area. For now he was more than ok with picking up after and teaching her the correct way of doing things. Toadsworth walked down the hall that held the rest of the rooms and took notice that with the exception of his bedroom, all the other doors were left ajar with the lights on. Passing by the bathroom and closet he took a quick glance inside before turning the lights off before making his way to his little girls bedroom. Instead of being met with a small figure curled in her bed, the white and pink flower covers were halfway pulled off the mattress, one of her pillows was missing, there were toys and clothing scattered around the floor, and Peach was nowhere to be found. 

If this hadn't been the third night in a row and fifth occurrence within the past week he would have frantically run out of the house and waking up the entire street to search for her, like he did the first time. This time he knew where she was, they would both clean all this up in the morning before she went off to school so for now, he turned off the light and closed the door and went to his room. The door to Toadsworth's quarters wasn't even halfway open when a few books toppled over startling the five-year old awake with a loud gasp.

"Stay away" she shouted, grabbing the nearest item and throwing it at the shadowy figure in the doorway. 

He had to admit that for how young she was she had a decent arm. If the room wasn't so dark, she might have hit him as she intended. Instead, the cheep-cheep plush landed two feet in front of where he stood. With the light now flipped on, relief instantly flushed over her face as she pulled the cover down from her mouth. 

"Papa, you're home! I was waiting for you but I got sleepy." Peach smiled telling him, suddenly wide wide awake. 

Toadsworth took in his room's altered appearance. The case that shelved his book collection was almost entirely empty save for three. Several missing books were meticulously placed domino style in front of the door, while others were lined up side by side from one end of the room to the other in front of the bed. There was a half circle of stuffed animals around his bed as if they would sprang to life and defend the girl in the bed should an intruder come close. She surrounded herself with pillows all over the bed and it seemed she had a plan B If all else failed, leaving the window a great bit open.

"I see. I do apologize for disturbing your rest. If I may ask, what all happened here?" He asked, looking to get to the heart of the matter. With the books from earlier in hand, he took them over and placed them on the bookshelf before moving to collect the others.

"Mmm, I don't know" Peach answered, taking in the state of the room better with the lights on. "I'll help" she climbed off the bed, rubbing the wrinkles out of her nightdress. Starting on the further side of the room.

"You're right about that my dear and we'll straighten up yours in the morning." He took the books as she handed it to him. "I am looking for a better answer than 'I don't know' however" he said, giving her one of his serious looks.

"After Toadina left, while I was sleeping, I thought I heard a noise and I got scared, so I came to your room where it was safe." Peach finally told him as she picked up the toys. He knew she was leaving out extra details but he could fill in the rest.

"Did you not want to go next door to Ms.Toadina after you got scared? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded you coming over.  I would've picked you up once I came home" He assured following her to her room to drop off the stuffed animals. 

"No cause they said if it sees you outside alone it'll get you and it was dark." She shivered at the thought, placing a few plushies on her bed and putting the rest along with the other toys and clothing in a pile in the corner for tomorrow morning.

Toadsworth knew it was just one of those passing phases that would have to run its course. The 'they' she was referring to was her classmates and The 'it' was some mysterious being meant to scare and take children in the dark. Mere playground rumors meant to spook out each other, he remembered participating in that chatter in his youth. Peach put on a tough front and brave it through the nights and he always offered his room for comfort if she needed. She insisted that she was a big kid who was able to sleep in her own bed.  All he could do was continue to assure and provide her with the security if she chose to come to him. 

"Can I get a snack and drink before I go back to sleep?" She asked, putting the pillow back on bed and pulling the covers back up on the bed.

"Of course. While you eat, I'll get myself ready for the night and if you stay up we can read a story before you sleep." He offered and she nodded with a smile.

It took about forty-five minutes and she sat in her bed waiting for him to exit the bathroom. After she brushed her teeth she returned and he had her pick out a book that they read together. They talked a little bit longer before she started to doze off and snore quietly. Toadsworth left the room as quietly as he could without disturbing her.  He took a few notes in preparation for tomorrow's work and then completed a chapter of the book that he was reading before shutting the lamp off and calling it in for the night. The sound of knocking slowly pulled him out of his deep slumber, flicking on the light he put on his glasses to see a bit better. Peach stood in the doorway clutching her clothing sniffing quietly, he beckoned her with a hand to come in closer.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" She asked, standing in front of him. He sat up in bed and offered her a hug. Peach happily accepted returning his embrace and giggled a little when he pulled her up on the bed beside him.

"One of these days I'm not going to be able to pick you up that easily. You're about as tall as me." He chuckled as she made herself comfortable.

"You just gotta go workout" She told him with a laugh laying her head down on the pillow facing him.

"You tell me where I have time to go for a workout" He jokingly said, taking off his glasses and turning the lamp off laying back down. Instinctively, she moved closer to Toadsworth as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder 

"We can go together during the weekend" she answered seriously and then added "I'll even workout with you" she laughed again.

"We'll see. For now it's time to quiet down and rest, we both have a busy day tomorrow."  He hushed her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Ok goodnight. I love you" she told him, closing her eyes.

"I love you too sweetheart" he said, combing his fingers through her hair. Within minutes she was fast asleep. He followed soon afterwards.

[raidenloml]

hey guys i have so many oc ideas and i think you should start getting interested in their lore to force me to work on them more how cool would that be... (is so excited to work on the sillies but needs encouragement or will forget them entirely womp womp)

[wheretheeternalare]

big things are happening in the drafts for the last chapter of my broadchurch fanfic...just gotta write the second-to-last chapter and then we'll really be cooking

[caraecethrae]

I need to buckle down and figure out what my personal understanding of Ceirt/Cert is.

it's fascinating how it seems to have these two diametrically opposing possible meanings (not unlike nGétal), one being tied to coir and right judgment and kingship, which actually fits apple extremely well folklorically, and one connected to madness, misfortune, sacrifice, and illness, which fit both potential etymologies of either Rag or Bush.

it seemed clear to me in the past that the secondary meaning had to be original, especially given my/the bias against the crannogham, but it's still very frustratingly simple that the current Modern Irish meaning is Rightness.

perhaps the meaning of the word shifted to match the evolving understanding of the fid, given the medieval love for the arboreal and more recentness of the Immrama? of course that's a reach but ...

[insertdisc5]

🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye