#i figured out how to do the 'read more' link!!

[accirax]

Translating and Analyzing Project: Eden's Garden's Title Theme

Haven't personally seen anyone else do this yet, so I figured I'd share my curiosity stirred up by the just-released Main Title Theme Live Symphony Performance with the class.

As a note, I don't speak Latin at all, so I will be relying on Google (including Google Translate) to help me out. Therefore, it's possible that some segments-- especially longer sentences or phrases-- may be translated incorrectly. If you do speak Latin and notice something that's off, I'd love to know!

This post will contain spoilers for Chapter 1, so please don't read this if you aren't caught up. That being said, let's get started with my most enthralling "theory" to date: trying to reverse engineer teaching myself Latin.

Because multiple sets of lyrics are occasionally sung at the same time, it's possible that my screenshots will contain multiple phrases in them. I'll do my best to avoid having that happen as much as possible, but otherwise, the explanatory captions under the pictures should make it clear which section I'm talking about!

A simple search of "omnibus" returns that it means "to all," but "omnibus de omnibus" becomes "everything about everything." This online Latin-English dictionary clarifies that the noun "omnis" can mean "all people" or "all things/everything." The -ibus suffix could be indicative of the locative, dative, or ablative tense. Ohio State University explains that the locative conjugation indicates the place where something happens, the dative conjugation indicates the person to whom something happens, and the ablative tense is really complicated could either mean why something happened (its origin) or how something happened (the means by which it occurred).

From what I can tell, "dubitandum" seems much simpler. It's just the gerund form of the verb "dubitare," which means "to doubt." In English, a gerund is a word that ends in "-ing" but is used as a noun. "Writing" in the sentence "I like writing" is a gerund because writing is a thing (a noun) that I like. Although dubitandum is a viable conjugation for many verb tenses, it seems to appear most often in the accusative case, which refers to "the end destination."

Stringing it together, "omnibus de omnibus dubitandum" would probably mean something like "all people will eventually doubt everything", or, as Google Translate would put it, "to doubt everything about everything."

"De omnibus dubitandum" specifically is apparently a common phrase (attributed to Renee Descartes) that just means "doubt everything." According to the link I just pasted, it was also a favorite saying of Karl Marx. C-Cassidy...?

Next is both a low register and a high register singing "fiat voluntas tu." "Fiat" is the singular present tense of "to do," so basically just "do." "Voluntas" seems to pop up most frequently as a noun, meaning "will" or "intent." And "tua", much like the Spanish "tú," just means "your." Smashing those together results in "do your will," or as Google Translate more eloquently puts it, "your will be done." "Thy will be done," if you want to get really fancy.

Here comes a long one. In total, the full sentence reads, "liber scriptus proferetur, in quo totem continentur, unde mundus judicetur." Thankfully, I don't have to translate this one. My boy William Josiah Irons already did it for me!

Reason being, this line is taken directly from the medieval Latin poem Dies Irae, AKA Day of Wrath, by Thomas of Celano. (And no, I did not know this offhand, I had to look this up too). Irons' translation tries to keep the original rhyme and meter of the Latin version, so if you want to sing along, use this:

Lo, the book, exactly worded, Wherein all hath been recorded, Thence shall judgement be awarded.

However, if that version is a bit too fancy for you, Wikipedia has a more modern translation:

The written book will be brought forth, in which all is contained, from which the world shall be judged.

If you're like me and know nothing about religion, you might see "book" in a medieval Roman (AKA Catholic) song and immediately assume that they're talking about the Bible. However, if Wikipedia is to be believed, they're referencing a different piece of literature which, to be fair, is at least mentioned in the Bible...! The Book of Life in Christian faith is "God’s record of all those over the centuries who have trusted Christ as their Savior and have followed Him as Lord." Therefore, the "all that is contained" would refer to the names of all of the holy people who believe in Catholicism.

The world-judging bit refers to "Judgment Day" or "The Last Judgment." That term refers to belief that, someday, Jesus Christ will return to Earth, and at that point, God will judge everyone who's ever lived, saving the faithful people and damning the non-believers. There are varying beliefs on whether more people would be saved or more people would be damned, but considering the song is called "Day of Wrath," I have to imagine Mr. Celano wasn't that optimistic. This song is famously associated with Catholic funeral masses too, so that upbeat attitude really stuck.

I could barely even hear this part under the music, but the subtitles alerted me to the fact that the chorus chants "da mihi factum, dabo tibi ius" here! This is another one I don't have to translate, because it's a reference to something else B)

"Da mihi factum, dabo tibi ius" means "give me the facts, I will give you law," according to A Guide to Latin in International Law via Oxford Reference. The reason why it's written in Latin is because, apparently, this saying originates from the Roman court system.

Looking at the bottom row, the lower-pitched chanting says, "vulnerant omnia, ultima necat." This semi-common phrase typically translates to, "all hours wound, the last one kills," even if the "hour" ("horae") isn't included.

The top comment on this Reddit thread breaks it down the way I would if I inherently knew Latin:

Let's review the underlying grammar: Vulnerant=they wound omnia is ambiguous because it can be both the subject and the object of vulnerant. However, in this case, horae is understood to be the subject, so omnia must be the object. It means all things. If it were omnes, then it would also be ambiguous because omnes can also be both as well. [...] So Vulnerant omnia [horae]=all [hours] wound* or the hours wound all things. The second one isn't very pleasant. And Vulnerant omnes [horae]=all [hours] wound* or the hours wound [men/men and women]. Ultima necat=the last kills

The comment also elaborates that the "horae" is assumed because the phrase is often found on clocks or sundials in churches. Many different sources return this phrase (or slight variations on it) including hours in the meaning, so I'm inclined to believe that it's true.

The bottom line repeats the same phrase again after this, so I won't include it for a second time.

Our final line! In the middle row, we have "Opere et veritate, de omnibus dubitandum!" This one isn't a reference, but luckily it's still easy enough to figure out.

The second half of the sentence is something we've looked at before. As a recap, "de" means "of," "omnibus" means "of everything/everyone", and dubitandum means "doubting." So, the second half of the sentence will probably mean something like "doubting of everything."

"Opere," much like "opus" is a noun meaning "work," as in a work of art. "Et" means "and," and "veritate" means "truth." The handy-dandy Latin-Is-Simple.com conveniently puts this together as "in action and in truth."

Together, the sentence means something like "in action and in truth, have doubt of everything/everyone." Google Translate puts it as "by work and truth, we must doubt everything," but I like my translation better.

Therefore, altogether, here's a rough translation of the P:EG theme's lyrics:

All people will eventually doubt everything... Thy will be done... The Book of Life will be brought forth, in which the names of all the holy are contained, and then the world will be judged. Give me the facts, I will give you law! All hours wound, the last hour kills. In action and truth, doubt everything and everyone. All hours wound, the last hour kills!

So, let's swap out our translator hats for lyrical analysis hats, 'cause there's obviously a lot here to relate to P:EG and the concept of killing games as a whole.

The first two lines paired together are a prophecy, a threat and a promise combined. Basically, the choir is saying, "you think that people will eventually doubt everything? Well, here's your wish come true!" The line clearly connects to Damon and his core philosophy. As long as Damon continues to not want to trust anybody, then nobody will seem trustworthy. Furthermore, if Damon continues to not trust others, that means there will always be one person in the group who won't be trustful, so everyone being trustful is impossible.

Not that it's much of a surprise, but the kinda judgy tone of these first two lyrics definitely implies that Damon's attitude will be challenged (and likely corrected) at some point in the story. "Thy will" was a stylization, but the truth remains that the phrase referred to a singular entity. The lyrics place the focus on a single individual, and blames them for everything that follows by implying that the lack of trust is their fault. It's very reminiscent of the end of the Prologue, where the entire class blames Damon and Eva for ruining the vibes between them.

The Day of Wrath section continues the game's religious theming, invoking discussions of the end of all times. Although I doubt a literal Armageddon will happen in P:EG, I can certainly understand how the participants of the killing game would consider it the end of all things. Certainly, a lot of less-than-virtuous people will be dying here, especially if you're under the assumption that everyone who kills is morally bankrupt.

It's certainly an interesting implication that those in the killing game who are most virtuous might be the ones who are saved. Are they just extending that morality to how likely someone is to kill them? Like, people wouldn't kill you if they think you're cool? There is also the argument that students who are too curious or have something to hide are more likely to find themselves in deadly situations (a la Wolfgang), leaving the less bold students alive in the end. Still, that's not as much of a judgment on God's (Tozu's?) part.

Something in me wonders if this killing game might have been created as a challenge. I don't think that the motivations behind it would be to punish this group of students in particular-- we know semi-factually that some of their deepest, darkest secrets are hardly anything to sneeze at. Instead of being so targeted, the goal would be to have most of the students fail, while a select few succeed.

There's a definite possibility that Eden's Garden College-- and the titular Project: Eden's Garden-- is a ploy to weed out the "fake Ultimates" by proving who truly has what it takes to succeed in the cutthroat world of business by literally cutting people's throats. Becoming the "true face of talent" could mean literally erasing the other faces of those who weigh the title of Ultimate down; with so many Ultimates around, it's easy to not notice if one or two go missing.

If we're in a world where talent is valued above all else, the "virtue" that Tozu could be sparing them for could be talent itself. "Leadership, communication, and persuasion" are certainly skills that could help you survive a Class Trial (whether as a blackened or spotless). Depending how deep the corruption goes in this world, it's possible that the graduates of Eden's Garden Academy-- survivors of former killing games-- are simply willing to keep quiet about the Academy's dark secret if it means that they can claim all of the accolades for themselves. They fought for and earned it, after all.

If this is the direction the story takes, I can definitely see how making someone like Damon the protagonist would be the perfect choice. For him to spend all game talking about his superiority and belief in the talents of the Academy only to learn that all of the Ultimates he admired kept 14 nearly-as-talented skeletons in their closet would surely create an interesting internal conflict for the final Class Trial.

This is all just a theory, as there are plenty of other ways the Day of Wrath poem could relate to P:EG. However, I think it's a theory with a decent backing behind it.

"Give me the facts, I will give you law"-- I mean, that has to relate to Wolfgang, right? Even beyond the fact that it just says "law" in it, it's international law, perfect for an Ultimate Lawyer who wants to unite everyone. This line could definitely indicate how Wolfgang took Damon's facts (that some people in the Academy would be willing to kill) and turned them into ammunition for his own missive. If I were writing this analysis before Ch1 dropped, I would probably have speculated more about the future rivalry between Damon and Wolfgang. Instead, Damon and Wolfgang's "rivalry" is already over, with honestly not that much beef between them.

Given that Wolfgang is dead, it's also worth it to consider this outside of a Wolfgang context moving forward. This line could also relate to Damon's experiences in solving a Class Trial: after getting the facts of the case, Damon goes to the Class Trial Grounds and lays down the law.

"All hours wound, the last hour kills" is super interesting in the context of a killing game. My immediate connection was to the chapters, or in-universe Trials, of the killing game. All chapters of the game will wound Damon and the eventual other survivors, but it's the final chapter in which they're confronted with the true despairs of the world.

Another interpretation could work on a more chapter-by-chapter basis: every day in the killing game damages something, whether it's the killer's sanity or their business/reputation out in the real world, so it's in their "last hour" when they snap and need to get out. Especially with the ticking clock of the Traitor Perk out there for Eva at least and possibly future killers as well, time feels like a big factor.

In general, I would assume that (if the quote is found on clocks in churches) the phrase probably means something along the lines of "don't procrastinate," which could also be applied to the concept of Ultimates in general. They're always on that grindset.

And finally, "in action and truth, don't trust anything or anyone." This line is pretty unremarkable (being a pretty obvious repetition of Damon's mindset at the beginning of the game) other than in contrast with the beginning of the song. As I said, at the beginning of the song, the choir was almost reprimanding Damon with their "thy will be done." However, here, not trusting anything or anyone is spoken more like advice.

It could be that the choir was actually speaking more neutrally at the beginning, and that they're willing to accept the lack of trust because they always knew it would happen. Or, it could be that, by this point in the song, the lyrics have shifted to represent Damon's point of view instead of the universe's. If "I will give you law" did relate to Damon laying down the law, maybe that "I" pronoun is the point of the song at which the lyrics become Damon's thoughts?

Otherwise, maybe the choir is just meant to make Damon feel bad no matter what he does. Let's assume that, over the course of the game, Damon will come to trust certain individuals more. If true, then at the beginning of the game, the choir could be like "damn if you want to not trust people then it's kinda your fault what happens next dude," and closer to the end they could be like "oooooooh you wanna not trust people so bad remember Eva?" If the song is just meant to be an imposing feel-bad moment, then the emotions of the impartial choir could be unimportant.

And, well, that's the song! As is basically my brand, this post wound up way longer than I thought it would, back when I thought I was just going to Google Translate all the lyrics and be done with it. But, I hope that learning a bit about Latin was intriguing (assuming I did it correctly), and that the plotlines implied by the lyrics have given you a bit to chew on!

Still working on the overall Ch1 review/analysis, I just thought that writing this post would only take me, like, half an hour... Hopefully I'll see you back whenever that's done! Until then!

[amie-777]

I dreamt of the TF141 and not just TF141 but linking onto the trucker Johnny AU.

TW: illegal entering of a flat, crying, a miserable attempt at accents (tell me if there is more) Reader has female pronouns in this.

They always had problems at the customs, but ever since you; Johnny seems to have none. He tells Kyle, who tells Simon and Simon tells John.

Your body moves almost methodical up the stairs, the door unlocks, with you pushing your body weight against the door. As soon as you're inside you shut the door close and lock it. There is a horrid smell coming from the staircase. Maybe you need to check on Mrs. Hughes tomorrow.

For now you turn on the light switch in your crappy apartment. The light blinks for a second and then turns off again, you hit it with the back of your hand and it switches on completely. Dropping your bag by the door, and taking off your shoes. You roll out your toes and shake out your body. Sitting in the office is not good for ageing. With soft padded feet you walk to the kitchen.

You open the fridge with a huff, more exertion needed than normally. Your face is illuminated by the bright light, you take out a container of mealprepped food. Closing the fridge and moving to the microwave. "Think we need more food than tha', swee'heart." You turn flinch and turn around. With wide eyes you stare at four humongous figures. Your breath is rapid. "I uhh.." You blink turn around. Something you should never do in the presence of predators. Simon wants to tut.

Opening the door again, you stare at the prepared ikea bowls. "I got a few portions of noodles..I could heat t.." "We got food from the place downtown." Your back shivers, because you smelled the food when you got home. The same food you get almost every Saturday.

You start shaking, holding the fridge like a lifeline. A miserable sob escapes your lips.

"I will sit down. I am sorry the light is broken in the living room." "How long?" British, like the guy before. "A few months." You wipe at your face with your whole hand, and hug yourself when you sit down. "Dinnae wanne to scare you, sugar." You know that voice. "Peppermint guy." "Yea, lass." There is a silence, broken by your small hiccups. Once more you run your hand over your face.

"Did you have problems at the customs?" "Look luv, the way you're handling yourself here. Have you had your house broken into before?" Deep gravelly voice from your left side. "I--uh yess. Some guy, he.. I'm sorry." You swallow and bite the inside of your cheek, and tap your foot on the floor. "He obviously had fake papers for the goods, I couldn't let him cross. In the evening he followed me and I.." You stutter. "..learned." Your body still shivers, the aftershocks of crying.

"Okay, love. We can all eat an' talk after, sounds good, swe'theart?" A giant paw of a hand places itself right on your temple. Gentle calluses stroke over your skin and weirdly enough the small touch calms you. You want to sink into the warmth, just for a moment you relax and close your eyes. You nod against the strong hand, he taps his thumb just above your eyebrow. "Atta girl."

Thank you for reading. I wish you a good day <33

Critic and remarks are always appreciated. English isn't my mother language.

[multiversehotline]

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[starlit-writer]

the kindest devil, pt. 2 - simon riley x fem!reader

This is your dead dove: do not eat warning. This second part deals with incredibly hard, graphic topics. tw: murder, familial violence, fauxcest, gore, smut, implied sexual abuse from an authority figure, and just general dark themes. it is also worth noting that both Simon and reader are aged down (18 year olds in their last year of high school) please do not read if this will be harmful to your mental health. that is more important to me than anything else.

listen, the brain worms took over. this was supposed to be a quick little one-shot drabble but the brainworms demanded a sacrifice and it devolved into this. but seriously, do not read if dark themes are triggering to you or if you are not in the right headspace. unbeta'd, bc we die like phil real men. thanks for reading!

pt. 1 here

word count: 2149 masterlist ao3 link

The bullet was earth-shatteringly loud as it ricocheted off the wall and grazed Simon’s thigh. His yell of pain, of rage, that sounded in your ear felt like a nuclear bomb going off. As Simon rolled off of you, you sat up on your elbows, feeling dazed and confused. That’s when your gaze fell on Phil. His cheeks were ruddy and swollen, his eyes were unfocused, hazed over with alcohol. But, in his shaking hand, was a gun. Simon was standing in front of Phill now, his hand clutching at his thigh. You glanced down at the wound and watched as thick arterial blood poured out of Simon’s thigh, painting the light blue jeans he was wearing with the sticky redness. Simon’s breath came out in ragged puffs, his eyes narrowed and filled with rage - he looked like a bull, and Phil was waving the red flag.

“You two have always been fuckin’ disgusting. That’s why I started fuckin’ her, you know that, right? I started fucking her because I wanted her to grow up and be normal, not craving her brother's cock,” Phil spat out, glaring between you and Simon. Quickly, you glanced away, feeling nauseous at Phil’s words as heat coated your cheeks, the blush matching the blood blooming down Simon’s jeans. It didn’t matter how untrue you knew the words were, that you and Simon weren’t truly siblings, it didn’t matter in Phil’s eyes. In the eyes of society.

Before you could blink, let alone formulate a response, Simon was lunging at him. He knocked Phil to the ground, the mass of the two men hitting the ground enough to make the ground shake. Simon looked absolutely vicious as he started throwing punches. His eyes gleamed with a murderous rage that you had never seen before. It didn’t take long for the crack of a broken nose to sound through the room, blood pouring down Phil’s face. Phil’s reaction time was slowed from the alcohol flowing through his head, but you watched as he raised the butt of the gun, the matte black back strap of the gun catching in the light as he attempted to crack it down on Simon’s skull. Simon, with his ever-keen senses, felt the movement, and quickly knocked the gun out of Phil’s hands.

“Don’t you ever fuckin’ talk about her like that again! She never deserved what you did to her, and, for the record, neither did I!” Simon raged as his hands shoved at Phil’s chest. Tears were streaming down Simon’s face, droplets of grief mixed with rage to form a dizzying concoction of conflicting emotions, mixing with blood that had gotten smeared there. Who knew whose blood it was at this point.

But Simon’s words were little more than background static to you as you watched the gun spin to a halt in front of you. You could save Simon and yourself from the abuse - you could set the both of you free.

It took less than a second to make your decision.

You jumped off of the bed, but at this point neither of the men were paying attention to you. With shaking hands, you picked up the gun. You didn’t even say anything. You aimed the way that you had been taught, and you squeezed the trigger. As soon as the trigger was pulled, you looked away, squeezing your eyes shut as you felt the viscera of what was once Phil’s skull land on your skin.

What felt like hours passed, but logically, you knew it couldn’t have been more than seconds. Simon’s hands were still coated in gore as his hands grabbed onto yours, removing the gun gingerly from your shaking grasp. He dropped the gun on the ground and kicked it away before his hands came back up to your cheeks, forcing your gaze to meet his warm brown one.

All you could think about was the pieces of skull, brain matter, and blood coating his fingers as he touched you.

“I- I had to,” you whispered, your voice shaking as your eyes darted wildly between his, almost as if you were seeking forgiveness from a god.

“I know,” he replied simply, his fingers digging into your cheeks ever so slightly, desperately trying to keep you grounded. You were in shock, your body trembling under Simon’s touch. Your eyes were darting desperately between his. You felt untethered, your body going hot and cold and hot and cold and hot and cold in a nauseating cycle.

Simon sighed softly as he watched you start to disassociate. His hands slipped down from your cheeks, down your shoulders, your arms, until finally they came to rest on your hips, leaving streaky trails of blood and brain matter all over your body. He hauled you against him so that no space was left between you, and did the only thing that he could think of to keep you from going off the deep end, from completely getting lost in what you just did.

His lips met yours in a fury. It was all teeth and tongue, Simon licking desperately into your mouth in a vain attempt to distract you. When you didn’t melt into him like you normally did, a short growl left his throat as his hands dipped beneath his sweatshirt that covered your body, his blunt nails digging into the flesh covering your soft hips as he continued to kiss you.

“Baby, c’mon. Focus on me, love. Just on me,” he muttered between kisses, desperation coating his tone. It wasn’t until he bit your lip, your own blood bursting into your mouth as he bit just a little too hard that you gasped, your shaking arms coming up to wrap around his neck. Simon grins a little sadistically against your lips. “‘Atta girl, there’s my pretty angel, huh?”

You whimpered out an affirmative as Simon picked up and pressed you into the wall, the plaster sticky and bumpy from the gorey spray of the bulletwound. But, with Simon’s hands dipping beneath the waistband of your leggings as he pressed you into it, it was hard to focus on anything but the skipping drag of his bloodied fingers as they skated across your smooth skin.

He was still kissing you, as if his lips alone could absolve you of all of the sin you had just committed. His fingers dipped lower, lower, lower until the rough pad of his thumb swept over the tight bundle of nerves at the apex of your sex. Your back arched off the wall, the sweatshirt making a noise similar to tape ripping off of paper as it pulled against the quickly-drying scarlet and pink decorating the plaster. Simon smirked, bringing his face down to mouth at your neck. “That’s it, baby. I’ve got you. You’re okay. Just focus on me,” he whispered between kisses and bites.

Your nails dug into his shoulders, your head coming back to rest against the wall as his hands continued their warpath of distraction across your body. His thumb refused to let up against your clit, and between the adrenaline, the kisses on your neck, the whispered words of praise, and the perfect pressure against your sensitive bud, it wasn’t long before you were tumbling over the edge. You pushed at Simon weakly, trying to move him off of you as tears started to form in the corner of your eyes, but Simon shook his head. “No, no, love. You’re okay. No tears, no tears. Keep your eyes on me, pretty girl, and tell me what you need, yeah?” Simon mutters, bringing his hand up to your cheek and wiping a tear away, smearing bloody gore mixed with your fluid across your cheek.

Your mind was reeling, but Simon kept your focus entirely on him. Your entire existence boiled down to this exact moment, with Simon in front of you, your cunt still spasming from his ministrations, and all you could reply with was: “you. I need- I need you. Please, please, Si. Let me have you.”

So, Simon did. With a devilish smirk, he pressed one knee against your core and kept one hand on your hip to keep you pinned in place, as his other hand tugged at his belt and the fly of his jeans. You heard the clink of the metal as he pulled his belt apart, the sharp grinding noise of his fly being opened quickly following it before he was pushing his boxers down just enough to free his cock. Then, his hands were quickly tugging down the waistband of your panties and leggings, pulling them down just enough to allow your cunt to meet the cool air.

You glanced down at him as he ran his own hand up and down his own length a few times. You watched as the unholy combination of blood, viscera, and your own slick mixed together around the head of his cock as he continued to jack himself off. Something was wrong with you. Something had to be wrong with you, because no normal or sane human being would have heat curling in their stomach at this sight. But you did.

You didn’t have long to think about the implications of this though, as Simon glanced up at you, that signature cocky smirk plastered on his plush lips as he leaned his hips forward, the head of his cock nudging against your clit. “So. Fuckin’. Perfect for me, angel. Such a good girl for me. Such a perfect cunt,” Simon praised as he ran the head of his cock up and down your slit a few times. This was one of his favorite parts about fucking you - watching your face contort as he teased you, the way the wanton moans fell obscenely and unabashedly from your lips.

Without warning, he pushed into your entrance, the head of his cock pressing against your pulsating walls. You were tight, the adrenaline ensuring that Simon would have to work to fuck you properly. He groaned and leaned his forehead onto your shoulder as your nails scratched down his back. You were babbling nonsense from above him, and he lifted his head slightly to seal his lips over yours. “Shhh, baby, shhh,” he crooned against your lips. “It’s okay, I got you. Relax for me, love. Go ahead, use those pretty little fingers to circle that perfect clit for me, huh? Help me fuck you, baby.”

It was all you could do to obey. Your fingers skated down the blood and gore that covered your body from the wall and Simon’s touch until they reached your aching clit, and you did exactly as he asked. You moaned, the sound an obscene warmth that settled right over Simon’s ego, and he grinned against your lips. “There you go, angel. That’s it. Let me in that perfect fuckin’ pussy, huh?”

Simon quickly shifted your hips against the wall, pulling them further towards him for a better angle, and loud groan punched past his lips as he finally bottomed out.

But it wasn’t enough for you. Not right now, not after all of this. You didn’t have time for soft, for slow, for gentle. You needed Simon to make you forget.

“Simon,” you gasped out. “I need- I need you to move. Please, please, please, fuck me, baby, fuck me. Make me yours.”

A small gasp of surprise left Simon, but what was he supposed to do, deny you? So, he just nodded, and set a punishing pace, his heavy balls slapping your ass repeatedly, the force of his thrusts pushing you further up the wall.

“This what you needed, love? To get so fuckin’ cockdrunk off of me that you can forget everything, hmmm? I got you, angel, I’ll make you forget,” he growls out against the skin of your throat, his teeth catching on the delicate flesh.

It doesn’t take long before you are tumbling over the edge again, your fingers and his cock making you see stars for the briefest of moments before the adrenaline and taboo pleasure of falling apart on Simon’s cock caused you to fully black out, your twitching cunt still spread open over Simon’s cock.

You came to a few minutes (seconds? hours? days?) later, wrapped up in Simon’s arms. You blinked in confusion, not understanding why there was so much wetness all around you. It wasn’t until you felt Simon’s hands in your hair, massaging floral-scented bubbles into the strands that you realized what was happening. He had brought you into the shower to clean you off. You couldn’t bring yourself to look down at the drain, to watch the deep red of Phil and Simon’s blood circle the drain.

As Simon noticed that you had fully came to, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead with a muttered promise. I’m gonna take you far away from here.

[zuppizup]

A Dark Alternative: Chapter 26

Summary: In a world where the border between Xadia and the human lands never truly existed, humans and elves live along side each other, but not together.

Years ago, Callum made an unlikely friend, one he thought long lost to time. By chance, their paths cross again, but considering how much they’ve both changed, is it possible to rekindle their friendship?

Or have their differences become too much to overcome?

Pairing: Rayla/Callum

Rating: Mature

AO3 Link: A Dark Alternative

“Will tea be enough to wake you up?” Callum didn’t seem to pick up on her mood or was choosing to ignore it.

“It’s served me well enough until now.” Retaking her seat, Rayla waited for the water to boil.

“Maybe you’d actually be a morning person if you got into the habit.” Callum was looking at her funny, a weird, vaguely hopeful expression on his face.

Rayla looked away, trying to figure out what on earth that could mean. “Why would I want to be a morning person?”

“Em, I don’t know. I guess-” Putting the bag of ground beans down on the ground, Callum plonked onto his rear, looking nervous. “You know, in all this time we’ve been hanging out, you’ve still never told me what you actually do for work.”

“I did tell you.” Rayla tried to look nonchalant, focusing on combing her hair. “This and that.”

Why was he asking these questions? Was he finally going to ask her about their meeting at Costigan’s? About what she had been doing there? What she had been selling? Why had she brought up dark magic? Had she put ideas in his head? Reminded him of that meeting months ago?

Read More On AO3 – A Dark Alternative: Chapter 26

[lia404]

"Ai, living has no answer."

"When we're in pain, we search for an answer to feel better. A concise, absolute answer. But if you really want an answer… it's that there is no answer. There are no absolute in this world. Even if we think there is, in the end, it'll only make us feel better for a moment.

If there are no absolute, then what's left?

Bonds. Bonds between individuals. Bonds between one another. That's all there is.

That also changes with time. A huge trigger can cause a huge change. Bonds may be severed. But new bonds can also be formed. So living is a series of bonds.

That's what life is.

I have to do that forever?

Yes.

That's a lot of work.

Yeah.

I'd need to be so strong.

That's why people become stronger. That occasionally leads to conflicts. But even if that happens, we have to keep fighting. Keep searching for bonds, even if there's no answer.

You can't rush living."

So I saw on MyFigureCollection that October 13 was maybe possibly Yusaku's birthday, although I couldn't find any reliable source for this. I'd have loved to do something nice and light-hearted for the occasion, but I'm still feeling too strongly about it all. So here you are instead: Happy (maybe) Birthday, Yusaku! Please have some trauma to go with your trauma. Here's to another year of fending off expectations and looking for your own life and its non-answers with eyes wide open and always filled with hope.

[keylovesstuff]

Little Events

Omg It's a Key Post you guys know what that means...I'm sharing another story hehe.

AO3

FFN

Toadsworth had returned home from finishing the last of his errands at about nine that night, taking great care in making as little noise as possible. Slipping off his shoes, he placed them next to the other little pair by the door and then headed over to the couch to turn on the lamp. As predicted, It was left unoccupied with the exception of Peach's purple blanket and a couple of books still open. The older mushroom let out a small sigh and shook his head, first folding the blanket and laying it on the back of the couch and picking up the books to take to his bookshelf. One thing that he's learned about taking care of a child for the past two years, was that no matter how many times he would tell her to clean up after herself once finished using something or leaving an area, it never got done. He took great pride in making sure his house looked perfect, that nothing was out of place and other than a few other factors, being messy was definitely in the top five reasons why he did not want kids of his own. Peach, out of all the others, had chosen to be with him though and at such a small age and that had meant a great deal to him even if he never voiced it outloud.

Other toad parents promised him that with age, kids would be better at picking up after themselves. However, he was slightly doubtful as these same people still talked about how their older kids would leave their rooms and other areas of the house from time to time. Peach would be different though, It was his goal to raise a proper young lady in every area. For now he was more than ok with picking up after and teaching her the correct way of doing things. Toadsworth walked down the hall that held the rest of the rooms and took notice that with the exception of his bedroom, all the other doors were left ajar with the lights on. Passing by the bathroom and closet he took a quick glance inside before turning the lights off before making his way to his little girls bedroom. Instead of being met with a small figure curled in her bed, the white and pink flower covers were halfway pulled off the mattress, one of her pillows was missing, there were toys and clothing scattered around the floor, and Peach was nowhere to be found. 

If this hadn't been the third night in a row and fifth occurrence within the past week he would have frantically run out of the house and waking up the entire street to search for her, like he did the first time. This time he knew where she was, they would both clean all this up in the morning before she went off to school so for now, he turned off the light and closed the door and went to his room. The door to Toadsworth's quarters wasn't even halfway open when a few books toppled over startling the five-year old awake with a loud gasp.

"Stay away" she shouted, grabbing the nearest item and throwing it at the shadowy figure in the doorway. 

He had to admit that for how young she was she had a decent arm. If the room wasn't so dark, she might have hit him as she intended. Instead, the cheep-cheep plush landed two feet in front of where he stood. With the light now flipped on, relief instantly flushed over her face as she pulled the cover down from her mouth. 

"Papa, you're home! I was waiting for you but I got sleepy." Peach smiled telling him, suddenly wide wide awake. 

Toadsworth took in his room's altered appearance. The case that shelved his book collection was almost entirely empty save for three. Several missing books were meticulously placed domino style in front of the door, while others were lined up side by side from one end of the room to the other in front of the bed. There was a half circle of stuffed animals around his bed as if they would sprang to life and defend the girl in the bed should an intruder come close. She surrounded herself with pillows all over the bed and it seemed she had a plan B If all else failed, leaving the window a great bit open.

"I see. I do apologize for disturbing your rest. If I may ask, what all happened here?" He asked, looking to get to the heart of the matter. With the books from earlier in hand, he took them over and placed them on the bookshelf before moving to collect the others.

"Mmm, I don't know" Peach answered, taking in the state of the room better with the lights on. "I'll help" she climbed off the bed, rubbing the wrinkles out of her nightdress. Starting on the further side of the room.

"You're right about that my dear and we'll straighten up yours in the morning." He took the books as she handed it to him. "I am looking for a better answer than 'I don't know' however" he said, giving her one of his serious looks.

"After Toadina left, while I was sleeping, I thought I heard a noise and I got scared, so I came to your room where it was safe." Peach finally told him as she picked up the toys. He knew she was leaving out extra details but he could fill in the rest.

"Did you not want to go next door to Ms.Toadina after you got scared? I'm sure she wouldn't have minded you coming over.  I would've picked you up once I came home" He assured following her to her room to drop off the stuffed animals. 

"No cause they said if it sees you outside alone it'll get you and it was dark." She shivered at the thought, placing a few plushies on her bed and putting the rest along with the other toys and clothing in a pile in the corner for tomorrow morning.

Toadsworth knew it was just one of those passing phases that would have to run its course. The 'they' she was referring to was her classmates and The 'it' was some mysterious being meant to scare and take children in the dark. Mere playground rumors meant to spook out each other, he remembered participating in that chatter in his youth. Peach put on a tough front and brave it through the nights and he always offered his room for comfort if she needed. She insisted that she was a big kid who was able to sleep in her own bed.  All he could do was continue to assure and provide her with the security if she chose to come to him. 

"Can I get a snack and drink before I go back to sleep?" She asked, putting the pillow back on bed and pulling the covers back up on the bed.

"Of course. While you eat, I'll get myself ready for the night and if you stay up we can read a story before you sleep." He offered and she nodded with a smile.

It took about forty-five minutes and she sat in her bed waiting for him to exit the bathroom. After she brushed her teeth she returned and he had her pick out a book that they read together. They talked a little bit longer before she started to doze off and snore quietly. Toadsworth left the room as quietly as he could without disturbing her.  He took a few notes in preparation for tomorrow's work and then completed a chapter of the book that he was reading before shutting the lamp off and calling it in for the night. The sound of knocking slowly pulled him out of his deep slumber, flicking on the light he put on his glasses to see a bit better. Peach stood in the doorway clutching her clothing sniffing quietly, he beckoned her with a hand to come in closer.

"I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" She asked, standing in front of him. He sat up in bed and offered her a hug. Peach happily accepted returning his embrace and giggled a little when he pulled her up on the bed beside him.

"One of these days I'm not going to be able to pick you up that easily. You're about as tall as me." He chuckled as she made herself comfortable.

"You just gotta go workout" She told him with a laugh laying her head down on the pillow facing him.

"You tell me where I have time to go for a workout" He jokingly said, taking off his glasses and turning the lamp off laying back down. Instinctively, she moved closer to Toadsworth as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder 

"We can go together during the weekend" she answered seriously and then added "I'll even workout with you" she laughed again.

"We'll see. For now it's time to quiet down and rest, we both have a busy day tomorrow."  He hushed her and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Ok goodnight. I love you" she told him, closing her eyes.

"I love you too sweetheart" he said, combing his fingers through her hair. Within minutes she was fast asleep. He followed soon afterwards.

[waywardsalt]

fuck it, unedited snippet from an early early post-ph scene i decided to write one night

[raidenloml]

hey guys i have so many oc ideas and i think you should start getting interested in their lore to force me to work on them more how cool would that be... (is so excited to work on the sillies but needs encouragement or will forget them entirely womp womp)

[supnerds]

is protector of the small a book (series?) and if so should i read it

okay SO

I have been saving this ask because I know I wanna ramble about it but at this point if I don’t answer now I will forget SO HERE WE GO

Protector of the Small is the name of a series that I read years ago and remains one of my favorites to this day! There are four books in total: First Test, Page, Squire, and Lady Knight.

The series is set in a medieval world, in a kingdom full of knights and a bit of magic. About ten years pre-story, the law was changed saying that girls were now allowed to go through training to become a knight, after one woman disguised herself as a boy to do so and proved women could (I think there’s a separate series about her story but I haven’t read it and you don’t need to read it in order for this story to make sense). However, it’s not easy to get over social stigma and since the woman who became a knight can use magic many conservatives believe she magicked her way into knighthood and is an exception etc etc no girls have attempted to become a knight in the ten years since the law was changed.

Until today.

Enter Kel, our main protagonist of this story. The youngest daughter of a minor lord and lady who have been instrumental to the kingdom in securing an alliance with a neighboring nation, the Yamani Islands; by which she spent much of her formative years in this nation while her parents acted as ambassadors and thus internalized some of their customs. Most notably, the fact that they believe showing any emotion is impolite - at various points in the series Kel will put on what she calls her "Yamani face" when she doesn't want others to know how she is feeling. Another important thing about this - women in this country are encouraged to learn how to fight and defend themselves as they are often set under attack by pirates and the like, giving Kel some background in weaponry and battle.

Kel has a strong sense of justice, and sees all living things as deserving of life and rights. She greatly admires Alanna (the first female knight previously mentioned), and these things all contribute to her motivation to becoming a knight— a motivation she clings to strongly as anyone and everyone tries to discourage her, from guests at a banquet refusing to be served by a female page to older trainees adding extra weight to her training weapons and pulling all manner of pranks and tricks meant to drive her away, even getting into fights out of sight of their instructors. Nevertheless she stands strong and continues working toward her goal!

and that’s not to say she doesn’t have anyone supporting her - she draws people to her like moths to a flame and becomes close friends with other pages, servants, knights, etc alike! she also ends up with a menagerie of animals that aid her - a grumpy horse named Peachblossom, the ugliest dog you’ve ever seen named Jump, and a flock of sparrows that adopt her as one of their own.

my thoughts on the series: I absolutely adored this series, from when I first found it what must have been nearly a decade ago to today. It’s a nice easy read - I just checked the series out from the library and finished them all within a few days, though that may also be just me trying to avoid responsibilities

you know those posts that say things like “what characters have you internalized and are now a part of your personality” yeah that’s kel for me. the yamani face is something I internalized either intentionally or subconsciously and to this day I still sometimes keep a straight face even when Emotions occur (we can’t let people know that we FEEL). love her for that

but yeah it’s a really good series!! lots of brilliant worldbuilding, fantastic character development, and great overarching themes. there’s something to be said about the impacts we leave on others and that others leave on us, and how those things can completely change the course of a person’s life.

anyway tl;dr — yes it is a book series, and YES you absolutely should read it

[wheretheeternalare]

big things are happening in the drafts for the last chapter of my broadchurch fanfic...just gotta write the second-to-last chapter and then we'll really be cooking

[caraecethrae]

I need to buckle down and figure out what my personal understanding of Ceirt/Cert is.

it's fascinating how it seems to have these two diametrically opposing possible meanings (not unlike nGétal), one being tied to coir and right judgment and kingship, which actually fits apple extremely well folklorically, and one connected to madness, misfortune, sacrifice, and illness, which fit both potential etymologies of either Rag or Bush.

it seemed clear to me in the past that the secondary meaning had to be original, especially given my/the bias against the crannogham, but it's still very frustratingly simple that the current Modern Irish meaning is Rightness.

perhaps the meaning of the word shifted to match the evolving understanding of the fid, given the medieval love for the arboreal and more recentness of the Immrama? of course that's a reach but ...

[insertdisc5]

🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

[deanncastiel]

January 2024 Reading Wrap Up

Books Read: 33 Pages Read: 12,470 Words Read: 3,703,493 Books DNF'd: 1 Avg Rating: 3.73

5 ⭐ Reads:

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

The Will of the Many by James Islington

Favorite Book:

The Will of the Many by James Islington - 5 ⭐

AUDI. VIDE. TACE. The Catenan Republic—the Hierarchy—may rule the world now, but they do not know everything. I tell them my name is Vis Telimus. I tell them I was orphaned after a tragic accident three years ago, and that good fortune alone has led to my acceptance into their most prestigious school. I tell them that once I graduate, I will gladly join the rest of civilised society in allowing my strength, my drive and my focus—what they call Will—to be leeched away and added to the power of those above me, as millions already do. As all must eventually do. I tell them that I belong, and they believe me. But the truth is that I have been sent to the Academy to find answers. To solve a murder. To search for an ancient weapon. To uncover secrets that may tear the Republic apart. And that I will never, ever cede my Will to the empire that executed my family. To survive, though, I will still have to rise through the Academy’s ranks. I will have to smile, and make friends, and pretend to be one of them and win. Because if I cannot, then those who want to control me, who know my real name, will no longer have any use for me. And if the Hierarchy finds out who I truly am, they will kill me.

Notable runner-ups:

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi - 4.5 ⭐

Villains Series by V.E. Schwab - 4.5 ⭐ (Vicious), 4.75 ⭐ (Vengeful)

Salt Houses by Hala Alyan - 4.75 ⭐

Least Favorite Book:

Him by Sarina Bowen, Elle Kennedy - 1.75 ⭐

Do Not Recommend at all. The use of a racial slur without pushback from the narrative, misogynistic tropes and general vibes, and so much fucking biphobia. I spent money on this 😩😩😩

Book(s) DNF'd:

Sky's End by Marc J Gregson - dnf'd @ 65%

Interesting premise but so fucking stupid and so poorly executed 😔😔😔

Overall thoughts: interesting month, read some books I have been wanting to read for months/years, as well as some that I likely wouldn't have gotten to for months/years 😅😅😅. First month using a random number generator to choose my reads and *chefs kiss* a life saver. Fun fact: I also read 33 books in Jan 2023.

[biscuityskies]

With the impending implementation of Project 2025, I suspect that AO3 will come under fire as well. And given that it’s a US based organisation, and the US has wedged itself somehow into every possible thing, I would also suspect that this will have global impacts. I cannot be certain of it - I’m certainly not an expert on political things and Trump remains, frankly, unpredictable - but I have personally found it’s more helpful to prepare beforehand than to scramble to keep myself afloat in the midst of a crisis. Knowing how important our favourite stories are to so many of us, here’s what I suggest:

Readers, I recommend you find your favourite stories again. Go all the way back in your bookmarks. Tell the authors you appreciate them, and you love their work. I think we could all use some nice words right now. If you want to keep the story, I recommend downloading it: here’s a guide on how to do so from the AO3 FAQ. I personally have wanted to take up bookbinding for a hot second; I might print off my favourite fics for myself and figure out how to bind them. The OTW also recommends downloading your favourites - see link below.

Authors, I recommend you keep your manuscripts. Download them onto an external flash drive and save them for a rainy day four or so years from now. Even the ones you don’t like are worth keeping - I guarantee you somebody else likes them even if you don’t. (I’m speaking to myself here, too.) Project 2025 has blatantly laid out a ban of pornography, and they will take that to mean whatever they want it to; I suggest you don’t even keep your fics on a Google drive if possible it’s definitely easier to keep them all online, trust me, I know, but so does the government. Corporations do not care about you: they will sell you out to whoever is willing to pay. Remember also to turn off AI scraping wherever possible, or better yet use sites that don’t engage in that behaviour.

For further reading from people more qualified than I, here’s the OTW’s statement on what their plans are so far.

I hope I’m wrong. I honestly would love nothing more. But more importantly, we will get through this. Humanity has told stories and put blorbos in situations for literal millennia. We’ll see the other side of this.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How I got scammed

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/05/cyber-dunning-kruger/#swiss-cheese-security

I wuz robbed.

More specifically, I was tricked by a phone-phisher pretending to be from my bank, and he convinced me to hand over my credit-card number, then did $8,000+ worth of fraud with it before I figured out what happened. And then he tried to do it again, a week later!

Here's what happened. Over the Christmas holiday, I traveled to New Orleans. The day we landed, I hit a Chase ATM in the French Quarter for some cash, but the machine declined the transaction. Later in the day, we passed a little credit-union's ATM and I used that one instead (I bank with a one-branch credit union and generally there's no fee to use another CU's ATM).

A couple days later, I got a call from my credit union. It was a weekend, during the holiday, and the guy who called was obviously working for my little CU's after-hours fraud contractor. I'd dealt with these folks before – they service a ton of little credit unions, and generally the call quality isn't great and the staff will often make mistakes like mispronouncing my credit union's name.

That's what happened here – the guy was on a terrible VOIP line and I had to ask him to readjust his mic before I could even understand him. He mispronounced my bank's name and then asked if I'd attempted to spend $1,000 at an Apple Store in NYC that day. No, I said, and groaned inwardly. What a pain in the ass. Obviously, I'd had my ATM card skimmed – either at the Chase ATM (maybe that was why the transaction failed), or at the other credit union's ATM (it had been a very cheap looking system).

I told the guy to block my card and we started going through the tedious business of running through recent transactions, verifying my identity, and so on. It dragged on and on. These were my last hours in New Orleans, and I'd left my family at home and gone out to see some of the pre-Mardi Gras krewe celebrations and get a muffalata, and I could tell that I was going to run out of time before I finished talking to this guy.

"Look," I said, "you've got all my details, you've frozen the card. I gotta go home and meet my family and head to the airport. I'll call you back on the after-hours number once I'm through security, all right?"

He was frustrated, but that was his problem. I hung up, got my sandwich, went to the airport, and we checked in. It was total chaos: an Alaska Air 737 Max had just lost its door-plug in mid-air and every Max in every airline's fleet had been grounded, so the check in was crammed with people trying to rebook. We got through to the gate and I sat down to call the CU's after-hours line. The person on the other end told me that she could only handle lost and stolen cards, not fraud, and given that I'd already frozen the card, I should just drop by the branch on Monday to get a new card.

We flew home, and later the next day, I logged into my account and made a list of all the fraudulent transactions and printed them out, and on Monday morning, I drove to the bank to deal with all the paperwork. The folks at the CU were even more pissed than I was. The fraud that run up to more than $8,000, and if Visa refused to take it out of the merchants where the card had been used, my little credit union would have to eat the loss.

I agreed and commiserated. I also pointed out that their outsource, after-hours fraud center bore some blame here: I'd canceled the card on Saturday but most of the fraud had taken place on Sunday. Something had gone wrong.

One cool thing about banking at a tiny credit-union is that you end up talking to people who have actual authority, responsibility and agency. It turned out the the woman who was processing my fraud paperwork was a VP, and she decided to look into it. A few minutes later she came back and told me that the fraud center had no record of having called me on Saturday.

"That was the fraudster," she said.

Oh, shit. I frantically rewound my conversation, trying to figure out if this could possibly be true. I hadn't given him anything apart from some very anodyne info, like what city I live in (which is in my Wikipedia entry), my date of birth (ditto), and the last four digits of my card.

Wait a sec.

He hadn't asked for the last four digits. He'd asked for the last seven digits. At the time, I'd found that very frustrating, but now – "The first nine digits are the same for every card you issue, right?" I asked the VP.

I'd given him my entire card number.

Goddammit.

The thing is, I know a lot about fraud. I'm writing an entire series of novels about this kind of scam:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

And most summers, I go to Defcon, and I always go to the "social engineering" competitions where an audience listens as a hacker in a soundproof booth cold-calls merchants (with the owner's permission) and tries to con whoever answers the phone into giving up important information.

But I'd been conned.

Now look, I knew I could be conned. I'd been conned before, 13 years ago, by a Twitter worm that successfully phished out of my password via DM:

https://locusmag.com/2010/05/cory-doctorow-persistence-pays-parasites/

That scam had required a miracle of timing. It started the day before, when I'd reset my phone to factory defaults and reinstalled all my apps. That same day, I'd published two big online features that a lot of people were talking about. The next morning, we were late getting out of the house, so by the time my wife and I dropped the kid at daycare and went to the coffee shop, it had a long line. Rather than wait in line with me, my wife sat down to read a newspaper, and so I pulled out my phone and found a Twitter DM from a friend asking "is this you?" with a URL.

Assuming this was something to do with those articles I'd published the day before, I clicked the link and got prompted for my Twitter login again. This had been happening all day because I'd done that mobile reinstall the day before and all my stored passwords had been wiped. I entered it but the page timed out. By that time, the coffees were ready. We sat and chatted for a bit, then went our own ways.

I was on my way to the office when I checked my phone again. I had a whole string of DMs from other friends. Each one read "is this you?" and had a URL.

Oh, shit, I'd been phished.

If I hadn't reinstalled my mobile OS the day before. If I hadn't published a pair of big articles the day before. If we hadn't been late getting out the door. If we had been a little more late getting out the door (so that I'd have seen the multiple DMs, which would have tipped me off).

There's a name for this in security circles: "Swiss-cheese security." Imagine multiple slices of Swiss cheese all stacked up, the holes in one slice blocked by the slice below it. All the slices move around and every now and again, a hole opens up that goes all the way through the stack. Zap!

The fraudster who tricked me out of my credit card number had Swiss cheese security on his side. Yes, he spoofed my bank's caller ID, but that wouldn't have been enough to fool me if I hadn't been on vacation, having just used a pair of dodgy ATMs, in a hurry and distracted. If the 737 Max disaster hadn't happened that day and I'd had more time at the gate, I'd have called my bank back. If my bank didn't use a slightly crappy outsource/out-of-hours fraud center that I'd already had sub-par experiences with. If, if, if.

The next Friday night, at 5:30PM, the fraudster called me back, pretending to be the bank's after-hours center. He told me my card had been compromised again. But: I hadn't removed my card from my wallet since I'd had it replaced. Also, it was half an hour after the bank closed for the long weekend, a very fraud-friendly time. And when I told him I'd call him back and asked for the after-hours fraud number, he got very threatening and warned me that because I'd now been notified about the fraud that any losses the bank suffered after I hung up the phone without completing the fraud protocol would be billed to me. I hung up on him. He called me back immediately. I hung up on him again and put my phone into do-not-disturb.

The following Tuesday, I called my bank and spoke to their head of risk-management. I went through everything I'd figured out about the fraudsters, and she told me that credit unions across America were being hit by this scam, by fraudsters who somehow knew CU customers' phone numbers and names, and which CU they banked at. This was key: my phone number is a reasonably well-kept secret. You can get it by spending money with Equifax or another nonconsensual doxing giant, but you can't just google it or get it at any of the free services. The fact that the fraudsters knew where I banked, knew my name, and had my phone number had really caused me to let down my guard.

The risk management person and I talked about how the credit union could mitigate this attack: for example, by better-training the after-hours card-loss staff to be on the alert for calls from people who had been contacted about supposed card fraud. We also went through the confusing phone-menu that had funneled me to the wrong department when I called in, and worked through alternate wording for the menu system that would be clearer (this is the best part about banking with a small CU – you can talk directly to the responsible person and have a productive discussion!). I even convinced her to buy a ticket to next summer's Defcon to attend the social engineering competitions.

There's a leak somewhere in the CU systems' supply chain. Maybe it's Zelle, or the small number of corresponding banks that CUs rely on for SWIFT transaction forwarding. Maybe it's even those after-hours fraud/card-loss centers. But all across the USA, CU customers are getting calls with spoofed caller IDs from fraudsters who know their registered phone numbers and where they bank.

I've been mulling this over for most of a month now, and one thing has really been eating at me: the way that AI is going to make this kind of problem much worse.

Not because AI is going to commit fraud, though.

One of the truest things I know about AI is: "we're nowhere near a place where bots can steal your job, we're certainly at the point where your boss can be suckered into firing you and replacing you with a bot that fails at doing your job":

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/15/passive-income-brainworms/#four-hour-work-week

I trusted this fraudster specifically because I knew that the outsource, out-of-hours contractors my bank uses have crummy headsets, don't know how to pronounce my bank's name, and have long-ass, tedious, and pointless standardized questionnaires they run through when taking fraud reports. All of this created cover for the fraudster, whose plausibility was enhanced by the rough edges in his pitch - they didn't raise red flags.

As this kind of fraud reporting and fraud contacting is increasingly outsourced to AI, bank customers will be conditioned to dealing with semi-automated systems that make stupid mistakes, force you to repeat yourself, ask you questions they should already know the answers to, and so on. In other words, AI will groom bank customers to be phishing victims.

This is a mistake the finance sector keeps making. 15 years ago, Ben Laurie excoriated the UK banks for their "Verified By Visa" system, which validated credit card transactions by taking users to a third party site and requiring them to re-enter parts of their password there:

https://web.archive.org/web/20090331094020/http://www.links.org/?p=591

This is exactly how a phishing attack works. As Laurie pointed out, this was the banks training their customers to be phished.

I came close to getting phished again today, as it happens. I got back from Berlin on Friday and my suitcase was damaged in transit. I've been dealing with the airline, which means I've really been dealing with their third-party, outsource luggage-damage service. They have a terrible website, their emails are incoherent, and they officiously demand the same information over and over again.

This morning, I got a scam email asking me for more information to complete my damaged luggage claim. It was a terrible email, from a noreply@ email address, and it was vague, officious, and dishearteningly bureaucratic. For just a moment, my finger hovered over the phishing link, and then I looked a little closer.

On any other day, it wouldn't have had a chance. Today – right after I had my luggage wrecked, while I'm still jetlagged, and after days of dealing with my airline's terrible outsource partner – it almost worked.

So much fraud is a Swiss-cheese attack, and while companies can't close all the holes, they can stop creating new ones.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to post about it whenever I get scammed. I find the inner workings of scams to be fascinating, and it's also important to remind people that everyone is vulnerable sometimes, and scammers are willing to try endless variations until an attack lands at just the right place, at just the right time, in just the right way. If you think you can't get scammed, that makes you especially vulnerable:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/24/passive-income/#swiss-cheese-security

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en