#i figure this is relatable enough to put tags on
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moonsick-lovelight · 1 year ago
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me praying to Apollo bc i have the slightest fever ever
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raticalshoez · 1 month ago
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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cripplepunkbarbarian · 1 month ago
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I just realized I’ve never hit any of my PNAT faves with the disability beam as I am known to do with each of my fave fandoms.
Dimitri is type one diabetic and epileptic. Cody has hypermobility and OCD. Isabel’s dyslexic with a prosthetic leg. Isaac’s schizoaffective with psoriatic arthritis. Penny’s dyspraxic with tourettes. TBI and MS Jean. Speech impaired Lisa. Hearing impaired Johnny. The list could go on…
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goldenpinof · 5 months ago
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#long talk in tags incoming i guess#i don't understand why people keep following me when everything i do is complaining lately#and not about dnp per se. but about how the work is done and how their team *coughs* martyn *coughs* is handling stuff#i'm just looking at all this mess and i can't agree with basically anything#everything goes against my beliefs when it comes to work organisation. customer focus and etc.#and i'm trying SO hard to mildly help for free. and i'm just getting ignored. but that's like.. basic fixing and shit#any decent company would do it and say thank you for noticing and letting us know#but not irl merch lmao#and it all feels and looks like a massive joke#and i'm so so tired to basically pay for existence of this mess#i'm rethinking a lot of tour related decisions i made. and i know the reason i made them was about travelling more than the show itself#so i don't completely regret it#i'm just so tired of being spat in the face (figuratively speaking) over and over again#and tired of no one taking their job seriously ffs#neither martyn nor dnp nor their fucking editors#and i'm doing all that not for attention or whatever. but because I really care for the words to be correct and for the fucking text..#.. to be in the middle. like idc about the credit or WHO i need to ask for it to be fixed. i just want it to be fixed#so it looks good and how it should look#like. it's not that hard to put a little care into the things you do and getting paid for#I don't understand how it became so normalized. how being a bad manager is okay if you work with a fanbase and you're a 'small company'#a small company who has more than enough money to hire people to check things btw. if only anyone cared#i'm just so so tired of caring. because apparently it's not something everyone else does.#and i can let it slide when it comes to dnp. they are not being literally hired to do it. but others..... yeah#today was a moment when i thought 'that's a perfect opportunity to leave. enough.'#but the tour is in 1.5 months and i have tickets so i can't leave lmao#what kind of joke that is? oh and i know i'm fully responsible for this mild breakdown#personal
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╰┈➤ SHUFFLE AU
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DESTINATION POINT (DP)
the Leo/need adjacent unit, composed of Ichika Hoshino, Airi Momoi, Ena Shinonome, and Minori Hanasato. ☆ a girl who's lost her friendships, and three others searching for their worth.
about the group's name: ♡ originally, i had "from here to there" in mind, but someone from the Discord gave me the name "destination point" and i thought it was much better, so i went with that. ♪
about the SEKAI: ♡ the Train SEKAI. no one knows when it left, or where it's going - just that it never stops. it's the perfect place for those who feel like they're lagging behind. just close your eyes and let yourself be carried away, right? but maybe there's something you can do… starts with a Miku and a Rin. the former's hardworking and talented, but the latter struggles - Rin is somewhat influenced by Ena's (and, to a lesser extent, Airi's) jealousy towards others.
Ichika hasn't managed to rekindle her friendship with her friends, and she's not doing particularly well. At one point, she meets Airi - who just quit being an idol. The two start talking and become friends, at which point they end up forming a band together. Airi wants to try finding a place where she could finally be taken seriously.
Ena's invited by Airi, and Minori - who had failed auditions recently - ends up inspired by Ichika's kindness, Airi's drive and Ena's determination, which is how she joins. (Haruka completely gave up on being an idol; something Minori is saddened by.)
In my mind, Ichika plays the guitar; Airi, the drums; Minori, the keyboard and Ena, the bass.
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IDEAL HEAVEN! (IH)
the MORE MORE JUMP! adjacent unit, composed of Mafuyu Asahina, Emu Otori, Mizuki Akiyama and Shizuku Hinomori. ☆ an up-and-coming idol group that combines cuteness and sophistication.
about the SEKAI: ♡ quite similar to the Empty SEKAI, but with some idol influences - a broken stage with no one in sight. there's no bright lights, no colorful props. nothing. that SEKAI both comforts and pains Mafuyu. home to a lone Miku. sweet, hopeful, but genuinely crushed by the pressure she's feeling.
Mafuyu's mother wants a perfect child. idols are very frequently represented as being perfect - so, she decides that her daughter should become one, too. Mafuyu's not keen on the idea, but that's her mother; she's obedient, so she goes along with it.
Shizuku still quit Cheerful * Days, but instead of stopping altogether she ends up with Mafuyu. Emu wants to make people smile, but no one ever came; Wonderlands × Showtime was never a thing. so she decides to become an idol instead, even if it means she'll never bring back the Wonder Stage to its former state.
Mizuki's half-dragged into IDEAL HEAVEN! by Emu, who saw them looking with interest at idol merch. after bringing them to meet Mafuyu and Shizuku, Mizuki ends up accepting - the idea of wearing cute clothes and being called cute doesn't seem too terrible.
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READY MADE SUCCESS (RMS)
the Vivid BAD SQUAD adjacent unit, composed of Haruka Kiritani, An Shiraishi, Shiho Hinomori and Akito Shinonome. ☆ two street musicians chasing after their dream, and the two girls they brought with them.
about the SEKAI: ♡ the Street SEKAI. weirdly, it seems Haruka's idol background has somewhat influenced its appearance. its inhabitants are Miku, Meiko and Len. this Miku is levelheaded, but it seems like there's something holding her back from going all-in...
after quitting being an idol, Haruka is invited by An to join her.
An's never met Kohane, and she never found a partner. Haruka is hesitant for a moment before deciding to give it a shot, though she keeps struggling with singing. Shiho tries getting more experience, meets Akito. no one really knows how these two ended together, but they both have a similar drive and take music very seriously.
eventually, they all start working together. Haruka deals with her guilt and, while she doubts she'll become an idol again, she's mostly made peace with what happened.
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STARLIGHT ☆ EVERMORE (S ☆ E)
the Wonderlands × Showtime adjacent unit, composed of Tsukasa Tenma, Saki Tenma, Kanade Yoisaki and Toya Aoyagi. ☆ a strange troupe of people who aim to help others through their performances.
about the SEKAI: ♡ still very much Tsukasa's, so it's the Wonderland SEKAI. [kanade goes there for the first time and dies. alas, they're still a shut-in and this place is simply too colorful for her poor eyes.] starts with a Miku and a Kaito, though this version of the former uses far less onomatopoeias.
Tsukasa figures he needs to show the world how much of a star he is himself, and he drags his siblings into it (with varying degrees of willingness).
a part of Saki still wishes she could be in a band with her friends; she's only somewhat managed to repair her friendship with Ichika. but she's still happy to do something fun and lighthearted after all her struggles. Toya's very excited to do something with Tsukasa and his siblings. he also gets to stick it to his dad, which, honestly - is a bonus.
out of the three, Kanade is obviously the most hesitant about the whole thing. but she sees Tsukasa's drive to make others happy, something she shares with him, so she ends up agreeing. Kanade is… slightly healthier physically on account of the stubborn people looking after her, as well as all the exercise she does she does as part of Starlight ☆ Evermore. mentally? eh… we'll get there. i need her traumatized to be interesting. <3
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LONELY SYNDROME (LS)
the 25-ji, Nightcord de. adjacent unit, composed of Nene Kusanagi, Rui Kamishiro, Honami Mochizuki and Kohane Azusawa. ☆ hidden behind avatars, these citizens of the web tell stories online.
about the SEKAI: ♡ the arcade SEKAI. this Miku is shy and withdrawn, though she one day hopes she'll be able to break out of her shell, just like Nene. alongside her is Luka - she has a bit of a teasing attitude and a catlike personality, but she always does her best to boost Nene's confidence.
about the group's name: ♡ syndrome refers to a group of symptoms - i paired it with the word lonely because i felt like it represented the atmosphere of an arcade. you're connected with people who share your interests, but at the same time, you're sort of separate from them. surrounded by people, but utterly alone…
Nene's social anxiety hasn't gotten better over the years. since she never joins Wonderlands × Showtime, she doesn't learn how to fight her stage fright.
but, she finds an alternate solution; using an avatar online. it's less stress-inducing, and it lets her pursue acting, in a way - it's not what Nene wants, but it's close enough. she figures she could be satisfied with that. Rui ends up figuring out what she's doing, and asks if he can help. Nene doesn't really have any reason to say no, so they start working together.
as for Honami and Kohane, they ended up on Nene's channel by pure accident. but her performances quickly became a comfort to them, since they were struggling at the time (the former because she no longer had her friends, the latter because of her lack of confidence).
unfortunately, ignoring your problems only goes so far, and eventually, her feelings give birth to the arcade SEKAI.
#// ooc#shuffle au#didn't bother detailing every SEKAI - they're mostly staying the same#destination point is accidentally very similar to richie's unit 💔#and ideal heaven! also. oh well. i didn't do it on purpose..........#my favorite out of these five is lonely syndrome & starlight ☆ evermore :D#which is evident because a) i developed lonely syndrome's story the most and b) starlight ☆ evermore has all my favorite characters#pushing my tenma agenda <3#lonely syndrome is like… dear to me because i struggle with very bad social anxiety and it's held me back so many times#so i relate to nene a bunch#i wish i could just - go out there and show people what i'm capable of doing. but i just freeze in place each time. it's easier to just…#give up. y'know? it hurts less.#and fun fact: lonely syndrome's luka is more or less based on rui? he's an important person in nene's life so you know -#i figured that it would influence one of the virtual singers. i love nene and rui's friendship ww#i put Kanade in the WxS-adjacent group because i wanted her to die <3#also. the potential of others finding out that this pathetic wet cat? is in a theater troupe?? insane. i think it's hilarious.#ready made success is a name i settled with despite not being very satisfied of it - so changes might happen!#there's some angst potential in there. i put some for emu too :3c#anyway. enough rambling in tags. i feel bad 💔#i'm insanen over them. if you have any questions - feel free to ask. teehee <3
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im-smart-i-swear · 1 year ago
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Stickbug and his awkward i-didnt-even-want-to-be-in-this-photo smile
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haunthouse · 2 years ago
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i don't know a ton about my family history but the last couple times i've seen my family they've mentioned offhand the fact that my great grandpa was a communist and was passionate about preserving yiddish literature and that if he was still alive i'd have great conversations with him about the horrors of capitalism and could practice my yiddish with him. and it's so weird to be told you're similar to someone you only met once when you were like 6 years old and will never have the option of meeting again
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48787 · 11 months ago
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I really like the song Do I Make Myself Clear by Zalinki because it... sounds nice. No other reason, just a funky little song that fills me with... joy! It has nothing to do with anything else, no don't look at the fact that I've been playing Disco Elysium, that game just also has good music, no other connection.
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rileyslibrary · 1 year ago
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pretty pretty please 🩶
imagine ghost is forced to speak at a school’s career fair because he’s out on medical, and reader gets sent with him to chaperone. (i.e. make sure he doesn’t scare any kids to 💀. and also maybe to feed him some slightly manipulative praises so he stays in a good mood lmao)
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You’re both standing in the principal’s office. The school was kind enough to offer you a private room since kids are a little rowdy today, and Ghost isn’t very fond of tiny hands tagging at his uniform and asking him “how many people he has killed”.
You’re holding two balaclavas; one is black, while the other is a deep shade of army green.
“It’s either this one or that one.” You say while raising both to his eye level.
He pushes your hands down and points to his skull mask. “No.” He states. “I’ll stick with the one I’m wearing.”
You frustratedly shake the balaclavas to your sides. “Come on, Lieutenant,” you plead, “you’ll scare the kids.”
“Have you seen kids these days?” he asks, raising his hands. “These fuckers are not afraid of anything!”
“Oh god,” You wince and toss the balaclavas on the principal’s desk. You shake your index finger at his face like a teacher disciplining a misbehaving student. “Don’t you dare to swear in front of them!”
“Have you heard, kids—”
“—these days.” You cut him off with a flick of the wrist. “Yes, but there’s no need to reinforce bad behaviour.”
He lets out a long exhale and places his hands on his waist. He begins pacing around the principal’s office, swearing under his breath. You’re trying to figure out whether he needs to let it all out before his big speech or if he’s cursing the moment he has agreed to do this.
He pauses in front of a painting hanging next to a window overlooking the school’s playground. He slouches and places one hand on his lower back, rubbing his injury.
You approach him from behind and gently grasp his forearm.
“Hey,” you whisper, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he replies sternly. “Never mind.”
“Are you in pain? Please talk to me.”
“I’m not in pain!” He protests. “In fact, I wasn’t in pain to begin with, when the medics decided that I was,” he makes air quotes with his fingers, “temporarily unfit for duty.”
You place a palm on his lower back and begin rubbing it. He relaxes at your touch and puts one hand on the wall to support his weight.
“You talk about not reinforcing bad behaviour,” he murmurs, “but I’m not the best role model either.”
“Bullshit!” You scowl.
“Seriously,” he insists, “I highly doubt I’d be here talking to kids about their future if I hadn’t been injured.”
He’s correct, but he doesn’t need to know that, especially now, as you wait to enter a classroom full of kids. Any other team member would be far more qualified for this role. Gaz is such a cool guy that most kids would deem him a god. Price feels like the father you wish you had when he talks, and Soap can adapt to anyone he speaks to. Even you would be a better fit for this year’s career fair. But, Ghost? No, not at all.
“Come on, Simon,” you say as you continue rubbing his back. “It’s less about ‘being a role model’ and more about relating to them.”
“How am I supposed to relate to them?” He wonders, “My childhood was nothing like theirs.”
“How do you know?”
He looks at you and motions towards the window. “Look at them,” he says, “they’re full of life.”
“Not all of them are like that, Ghost; some are putting on a show.” You explain, and he turns to look at you again. “They look all jolly, but they might struggle at home or school. Worse, they can’t admit what’s happening behind closed doors because they’re either ordered to remain silent or not understand it themselves.”
He huffs and shakes his head. “Now I can relate to that.” He murmurs.
“See? You need to spot these kids and indirectly talk to them.”
“Spot?” He asks. “How do I spot them?”
“You mean to tell me you’re trained to spot targets from miles away but can’t see when a child suffers in silence?” You ask back. “Plus, it takes one to know one.”
He nods. “And what should I communicate to these kids?” He asks. “How do I help them?”
“By showing them that there’s something better waiting for them out there.”
“Don’t be naive, Y/N. How is what we do better than what they’re going through right now?”
“It’s not about the military, Simon.” You elaborate. “It’s about giving them another chance. They deserve to know there are options other than turning into their drug-addicted mother or alcoholic father.” You lean forward so he can meet your gaze. “Someone gave you a second chance, right?”
He closes his eyes and ponders your words. You tilt your head at him, trying to predict what he’ll say next so you can respond quickly.
But he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he straightens up and takes a deep breath. “You know,” he begins, “I gave one of those speeches to a school a few years ago.”
“Oh!” You cheer and pat him on the back twice. “Did you, now?”
“Lysychansk, Ukraine.” He recalls, “I was being held hostage with a bunch of kids.”
“Tell me more about it,” you say, sitting on the principal’s desk and playing with a pink highlighter. He begins narrating his story, and you can tell he’s becoming more confident as he realises he’s spoken to children before, albeit in a very different context, but who cares? What matters is that he is becoming more at ease with his “previous experience.”
You, in turn, try to give him your full attention, but now that his doubts have subsided, your primary concern is that mask of his. He needs to take it off.
“See? You’re far more experienced than any of us!” you shout. “And in that setting? My god! None of us would have been able to do such a thing!”
He chuckles and looks proudly out the window at the children playing in the school’s playground. He seems to be looking forward to it now.
“Hey, um, sir?”
He shifts his focus to you.
“Your mask, sir; It’s dirty,” you say as you point to his cheek.
He puts his hands on his mask. “Where?” He yells.
“It’s right….” You get up from the desk and take a step closer to him, inspecting his mask. You raise the marker and draw a bright pink line across his cheek, “...there.”
He immediately places his hand on his cheek, looks at the highlighter in your hand, and then back at you.
“You... motherfucker...” he murmurs.
You move away from him and stand behind the desk.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t let you go out with that mask on; the parents will be furious.” You point to the balaclavas on the principal’s desk. “You do, however, have two other options! Take your pick, and I’ll see you in class in 5 minutes!” And with that, you rush out of the principal’s office and into the school’s corridor.
You enter the classroom and greet the kids with a smile, trying to hide your nervousness. Walking towards the back where the parents are seated, your mind starts racing; Is he trying to choose a mask, or is he cleaning up your mess? What if he’s so furious that he doesn’t show up, leaving you to give the speech? Worse, what if he enters the classroom and takes his anger out on you?
But, the door opens, and Ghost walks in. Your eyes widen, and your jaw drops. He’s not wearing any mask. Not the black one, not the green one, not the skull—with the pink streak—mask on. Nothing.
You observe him moving around; despite his lack of disguise, he maintains his composure. He greets everyone in the room, smiles, waves back at the kids and stands next to the teacher. You let out a relieved exhale through pierced lips. This is going well, thank god.
As the teacher introduces Ghost to the class, you turn to give him a thumbs up, and his eyes lock with yours. There’s a faint smirk playing on his lips, and your heart skips a beat as he silently mouths something in your direction: “You’ll pay for this.”
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A/N: YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, ANON! I was forcing myself to take a break from writing, only to be slapped by an inspiration wave. Hope you liked it, though; I had fun making it.
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xalygatorx · 12 days ago
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A Case of the Slumps | Alastor x Depressed!GN!Reader
Summary: It seems you've brought your brain chemistry down to Hell with you. Figures.
Warnings/Tags: Hurt/Comfort, depression and related symptoms/thoughts (obvi), cinnamon roll Charlie, Angel gives you a Xanax but you don't take it, platonic Alastor with a hint of possible unspoken romantic feelings, unexplained cause of death, present tense for some reason, reader is gender neutral
A/N: Crosspost of a recent oneshot from my AO3 because I figured if I'm in a slump, someone else probably is too. x
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Sometimes it was a thought. Sometimes it was the time of year or the weather, when Hell's crimson sky was kept dark for long periods of time by an uptick of brimstone in the atmosphere or the lingering storm clouds after an acidic downpour. Sometimes it was a memory. A song. A smell.
Sometimes it was seemingly nothing at all.
Just like when you were alive, your now-dead brain hasn't lost its particular quality of liking to work against itself. It's impossible to say whether it's a continued chemical imbalance—that'd be likely right? If demons can do drugs, then clearly there's still something to brain chemistry in Hell—or if death took a snapshot of your self and your mind as they were in life.
It doesn't really matter what it is either because it still affects you just the same. And because you haven't had a depressive episode yet post-mortem, you haven't done any of the legwork you had to do in life on your own to figure out what's "wrong" with you, who might hear you and listen, and what medication(s) works.
So when it does hit, it hits like a tidal wave no one else can see. The wave itself, anyway—everyone can see you drowning.
That first slump isn't kind enough to hit in the morning when you can sleep in—or rather stare with dead eyes at the wall, bundled under your duvet and blankets as you put off the day passing by around you. No, that first slump hits in the middle of one of Charlie's exercises, one that you were enthusiastic about participating in just an hour ago. What happened?
You know. This feeling is an old friend you'd hoped to never meet again.
Charlie doesn't though, not right away. After you excuse yourself by means of referencing a stomachache you only kind of have—and only from the emptiness pooling in your gut and humming in your chest—she catches up to you in the hallway.
"Hey!" she chirps, leaning around to look at you when you stop but don't turn around. If anything, you curl further into yourself. She doesn't notice though—the only ones who would notice your change are the ones who know to look for it. Charlie, bless her heart, doesn't have that earthly world experience yet. "Do you want us to wait up for you or…?"
"Oh, uh, no," you stammer out, yearning for a big hoodie to comfortably drown in or a cup of tea, the idea of which sounds lovely but you don't even like tea. Everything that would normally feel like a treat sounds stressful or unappetizing, leaving you uncertain about what exactly you're meant to be doing. That's when the lethargy hits hardest. "I don't feel well, so I'm just gonna rest for a while."
Charlie's brow scrunches. You can tell she's about to argue that you'll never get into Heaven if you don't stick to the exercises and something akin to a sudden flash of anger roils in your chest, kicking the dead gray weight of apathy in the teeth. Because how dare she question your commitment, your hopes, your dreams, because you're walking away this one time?
But if this is like life, if this can happen again now, how many more times will it happen? Is it over for you?
Something clicks behind her eyes though as she watches your face. You don't know this, of course, but she's seen the same look on Vaggie's face before. Primarily right after they found each other—Vaggie also fell into a pit of her own pain and trauma, a victim of her new normal until the new normal became preferable.
And, on those days, Vaggie didn't always want to be with Charlie. At some point, Charlie had to learn that it often had nothing to do with her when that happened, too. It helped her understand her father better, too, in the end. She'd needed to reach out to him, but she'd had to let Vaggie come to her when she was ready. Both were valid approaches for different people.
She decides to trust that you'll make it clear to her what you need when you're ready.
"Okay," she says and her kind voice spears your anger with guilt, killing it instantly. You were always good at that, weren't you? Pushing away the people who care. "You have my number. You have everyone's number—well, everyone with a phone anyway. Just let us know if you need something. Anything. Okay?"
You clench your teeth to hold back the burn of tears working its way up your throat. "Okay. Thanks, Charlie," you say and it comes out as sincerely as you mean it, which is good. At least something's gone right today.
"Would you like a hug?" Charlie offers, starting to hold out her arms and then hesitating when she wonders if that could feel like she was pressuring you.
You think about it and decide it's worth a try. "Sure," you say and you step into her arms. She runs even hotter than the other sinners you've met, being Hellborn. It's like cozying up just a couple inches too close to a fireplace, but it doesn't burn. She just feels like the hearth in the place that's swiftly become your home.
She doesn't let go before you're ready, but the second she feels you shift to step back, she lets her arms drop. She gives you a little wave before scampering back down the hall to resume the exercise in the lobby, leaving you to resume your trek to the elevator.
Once you're in the elevator and you've tapped the button for your floor, you fall back against the wall of the lift and run your hands down your face, sighing into your palms.
What you wouldn't give for an on-paper, calculable test that you could fill out and hand to a doctor or psychologist or someone who could tell you with complete certainty what's wrong with your brain and how to fix or endure it. Not only so you could feel better, but so you wouldn't be such a burden to your new friends, your found family. What good were you like this?
(The reality is that the group downstairs is mildly concerned, but otherwise just fine. Charlie can manage the exercise through sheer optimism alone and she has enough bandwidth to do that and be available to you as your friend whenever you need something.
A couple of the others noticed your deflated exit, perhaps because they've once been through similar episodes, and are either just hoping you feel better or trying to come up with some nice gesture to make whenever they see you next. Everything you're worried about or sure you've messed up is a product of your dopamine-deficient brain.)
You pass Angel in the hall on your way to your room as he's heading out for work and he, of course, knows that look. He just hasn't seen it on you before. He offers you a many-armed hug and what he tells you is a Xanax, telling you to text him if you need anything or just want to talk and he'll check on you whenever he's freed from the studio next.
You appreciate his offers and agree to all of it, except the unwrapped, unlabeled pill, which you get rid of once you're in your room. You trust Angel, but you're too paranoid about making whatever you're feeling worse. You barely knew how to deal with it in life, what's it going to be like in Hell?
A stretched-out old hoodie is procured from your closet and you tug it on, smoothing your hair back down as you amble toward the bed. You burrow under the blankets and try to sleep, but of course it doesn't come. You're not tired, after all. You're not even sad. There's just nothing where there's meant to be something, anything in your chest.
Hours pass and, even though you're not helping yourself by lying curled on your side and staring at the wall, you're listless. You can't talk yourself into getting up or getting something to eat. It's even hard to convince yourself to look at your phone, maybe because you've heard it buzz a few times with texts likely asking how you're doing. You don't want to answer them until it's a good answer. Until you can say you're doing better. Anything else is a disappointment, surely, for all involved.
Someone's knuckles rapping against your door makes you jolt, but you sink back into that unsteady feeling of mentally treading water instead of answering. They'll go away if they think you're sleeping. It's probably Charlie anyway, maybe checking on you ahead of dinner. Was it really almost dinnertime?
That was enough to motivate you to extract one arm from beneath the duvet, extend your hand to your phone, and tap the screen to wake it up. It was after dinner. Time was a construct and someone was still at the door, knocking more sharply now.
You bundle your arm back under the bedding, keeping your back to the door. Charlie wasn't that hard of a knocker, so maybe she'd sent Vaggie up to check on you? Husk tended to pound on doors with the side of his fist (and not come near any potentially weepy situation with a ten-foot pole), so it probably wasn't him. It might be Angel, you supposed. Short studio session, if so. Perhaps Pen, but the source of the noise was too high up to be Niffty. She'd barge on in anyway…
"My dear, I can hear you moving around in there, you know," the Radio Demon's voice informs you through the door and your heart nearly stops a second time.
Not Alastor, you sigh inwardly, covering your face in your hands again and trying not to groan lest he hear that, too.
It wasn't that you disliked Alastor. In fact, that wasn't the case at all. You'd been a bit scared of him at first, sure, when you'd initially crossed the threshold of the Hazbin Hotel and who could blame you? He was an imposing figure, someone you'd heard of within days of falling into Hell despite his seven-year sabbatical from the Pentagram.
He was also a prominent public figure from his radio show. That was how you'd first tried to get to know him a little better—you'd started tuning into his broadcasts, getting better at predicting the shrill screams of the souls he tore apart just before they blared through your speakers. You still missed them on occasion and would violently jolt upward from wherever you were sitting or lying while listening, floundering for the volume dial and usually finding it well after you needed it.
Alastor had spotted you do exactly that once during a prerecorded broadcast and, after he'd run the gambit of jokes he could make at your expense, the barrier that had existed between you two since your arrival started to come down. And while the jarring screams hadn't stopped, your radio's volume would inexplicably drop on its own ahead of them from then on. You couldn't come up with any explanation for this that didn't include Alastor's influence, but what may have been a kindness on the Radio Demon's part was directly rivaled by his then-new penchant for bursting out of the speakers in a swirl of shadow to scare you, himself, and ask you for feedback on the day's stories.
Those interruptions had become short bouts of small talk in the hall, a couple of cooperative efforts to cook the crew a delicious dinner, him holding doors for you whenever you happened to be traversing the hotel in the same direction… Little things. Lots of little things that had ended up with you considering him a friend, but who knew how he felt. He probably just thought you were amusing. What made it even worse was that you were beginning to suspect the extra pitter-patter of your heart whenever he showed up was no longer adrenaline anticipating him scaring you, but butterflies.
You poor thing. You weren't sure you could've picked a more surefire way to make a fool of yourself.
"I'm not decent," you finally say in an attempt to deter him, wincing a little at the hoarse quality of your voice. You'd only cried a little during your time in your room that day, but you'd cried hard. Partially in an effort to exorcise some of the bad feelings you were harboring, but it hadn't helped much.
"Well! Under all those blankets, I wouldn't even know, now would I!"
You squeak as you startle so much from hearing his staticky voice right behind your head that you end up in a heap on the floor between the wall and your bed.
By the time you untangle yourself from the duvet and pop your head out of the heap, he's maneuvered himself to the edge of the mattress and is peering over it while lying on his barely existent stomach. A thin, but amused smile curls his lips as his legs idly kick behind him like he's a high school girl at a sleepover.
"Was that necessary?" you ask, any amount of riling up he'd done with his sudden entrance falling away from you as your slump saps it of its vigor in one go.
Alastor's brows rise into his fringe, clearly a little caught off-guard. You can understand why—you usually either laugh or, if he gets you badly enough, clutch your chest and scold him for nearly causing your second death via a heart attack.
He tilts his head at you as his eyes narrow and you can't tell if he's confused or zeroing in on his prey. Honestly, in your current condition, you can't get yourself to care. Maybe he'll put you out of your misery for your cheek.
"Mm, I deemed it so," Alastor says, his luminous red eyes blinking down at you as he leans forward ever-so slightly. He's clearly on edge and you digest this as a display of annoyance, but he's concerned (and doesn't like that he's concerned). He's never seen you like this. "Are you ill, cher? It's quite unlike you to miss dinner."
"In a matter of speaking," you allow as you stand up, brush yourself off, and gather up your duvet into a large wad in your arms. You maneuver it back onto the bed and into a sort of nest you can return to, careful not to jostle or accidentally touch Alastor as he remains partially prone across the foot of the bed and watches you work. Mindful of how little he likely knows about mental health, given his time period, you explain in a few words, "My brain is sick."
He blinks, not sure what to make of what you've said. "Your…brain?" he repeats uncertainly. "How so?" Alastor also deems himself "sick in the head," but he's fairly certain that his brand of insanity isn't what you're referring to in yourself.
You nestle into the duvet, missing how his eyes soften a touch at how small you look right now. You take a deep breath and let it huff out as you force yourself to look at him. If he just wants to torment you a bit, this will expedite him getting it out of his system so you can go back to your staring contest with the wall. If he's not just here to make fun of you…well, then that would be surprising.
"I have depression," you finally admit and you wonder when the last time was that you said those words out loud. Even in life, it was a rare moment when you'd be met with someone who was worth explaining yourself to—most people either didn't understand because they'd never been through it themselves or because they didn't want to understand. Over time, you'd just given up trying to be honest about your struggles because being demeaned or invalidated for them just made you feel worse.
"A what now?" Alastor asks, cocking one brow as he turns to lie on his side with his head propped against one hand. His fluffy ears twitch a little but stay upright, alert, and turned in your direction.
"It's a mood, uh…ailment," you explain, thinking he might not know what a "disorder" is either. You're not familiar enough with what terms people would've used to refer to mental health in his time, so you're overcareful with the words you choose. "My brain chemistry wasn't right in life—my body didn't produce enough of the chemicals that make us feel happy, so I'd get into really bad slumps. Exhausted, sad, sometimes just numb slumps. Apparently that came down here with me, too."
"So…you're in a 'slump'?" he repeats slowly, testing the word you'd used on his tongue.
In moments like this, you find him unbearably cute—from his twitchy ears made restless by the rate of his thoughts to his wide, considering eyes as he tries to absorb what you're telling him. He's a very good listener when he's not in the middle of a bit.
"Yes," you tell him and he relaxes slightly at the confirmation. "I feel dead inside, honestly. Which is funny to say now that I'm actually dead, but it's just… I just don't feel much of anything. Or I do and it just feels empty and hollow. That's kind of worse than feeling sad."
He hums and offers, "A smile is our greatest weapon, dear. We've discussed this."
"Not against this, it's not," you sigh, just waiting now for him to get frustrated or bored with you. "I'm not trying to be difficult, Al, I swear. It's just… I can't fake what I'm feeling. I've tried! I wish I could mask half as well as you can, but it's hard. It takes energy I just don't have in times like this."
Alastor evaluates you with a glance and asks, "Then what is your weapon of choice against these…slumps?"
You tug against the seam of the duvet wrapped around you, all nervous fidgeting. "I never really figured anything out," you admit and it feels like a failure. It feels like because you can't offer him a solution to your problem, your problem must not be a problem. You remember so many exasperated faces looking back at you at times you'd admit the very same. He just looks at you though, clearly thinking. "Sometimes just waiting for it to pass was the answer. I was on medication for it at one point, but it never helped very much. I know I need to eat, but I just feel a bit nauseous when I think about food."
"Then food should be on the docket, certainly, but perhaps not just yet," he muses, sitting up as he continues to regard you. "What else?"
You throw your hands up helplessly. "I'm not sure. I'm sorry," you say. "Maybe I need to go hug Charlie again or something, that didn't fix anything earlier, but it didn't hurt."
Alastor scoffs. "Is my comfort not up to your standards, dear?" he needles you, his tone confident even as his smile wavers slightly.
You blink and shake your head even as you scramble to try and understand what he's implying. "Of course not," you quickly say. "I just… You don't have to do that kind of stuff, you know? I know it's uncomfortable for you and I'd never want to make you uncomfortable."
He chuckles and a mischievous smirk overtakes his features as he leans in and pulls you toward him via the duvet, taking an indulgent look at the blush reddening your face before he tightens the blanket cocoon around you and adds his arms to the equation after. You get the hint not to take your arms out and touch him and you're not even sure you could if you wanted to. You're frozen in place, comically close to a deer in headlights, and you can feel the heat inflaming your cheeks.
It's nice to feel something for the moment.
"Um… Alastor?" you ask, stopped from looking up at him when his pointed chin settles against the crown of your head. "You… Why?"
"Why, what?" he asks, but it's just to put off answering and you have some inkling that this might be the case despite his casual tone.
"Why are you doing this?" you ask, embarrassed by how vulnerable you sound to yourself.
"I can't have you sat here in one of your 'slumps' by yourself, darling," he mused, one of his hands absently tracing over your back.
It takes a lot for you to not lean into the touch, but you're terrified of scaring him off. You're also terrified of overthinking this though, especially as he settles in around you, his larger body usually used to intimidate and tower over others making you feel oddly safe. Then again, even in his most antagonistic moments with you, have you ever felt in danger?
"Why not?" you ask softly.
"You ask a surprising number of questions over something so simple as this," Alastor notes and his words cause a puff of warm breath to stir your hair. You shiver a little and he chuckles.
"But it's not simple for you," you murmur, letting yourself relax a bit as he impatiently tugs you closer to fit you against his chest. He's certainly not as gentle as Charlie, but you imagine he's far less practiced in this sort of thing than she is. It hits you harder because you know he's trying. And perhaps because you—silly, silly you—have a tragic little crush on the Radio Demon. "And… Well, I appreciate it. That's all."
Alastor hums and admits, "It's simpler than expected. And not unwelcome." You feel his chin shift against your crown, like he might be looking down at you, as he asks, "Is it helpful? Or is dear Charlotte's attention still preferable?"
You have to bite your lips a little to keep from smirking—that sort of tone can only indicate that he's jealous. Once again, you find him unbearably cute and it'll likely one day lead to your second untimely demise once he realizes how you feel.
"Yes, it's helpful. And preferable," you confess and you can almost feel his chest puff with pride. "This is really nice. Thank you."
"You're most welcome, dear," he says, glancing down and watching you cave to fatigue and fall asleep as he feels your weight settle further into his chest.
Alastor chuckles and gives you time to fully settle into a more restful state before he shifts your body around and situates you on your bed. He'd first considered staying, but figures having something for you to eat at the ready when you wake is a better use of his time. At least that's the reason he gives himself to go.
The truth is he can't remember the last time he honest to goodness comforted someone. There's a tickle in the back of his brain, a voice asking if he's losing his edge. Asking if you'll see him now as less than he is, which (in his mind) is a sadistic, cannibalistic overlord and nothing more.
He can't deny though that he's savoring the lingering warmth from your body on his coat. And, as much as he doesn't understand these "slumps" or the depression you referenced, he didn't like seeing you look so sad.
And he supposes if he must occasionally soften his sharp edges a bit to help keep his favorite guest present and smiling, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
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creamflix · 19 days ago
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UNSCRIPTED — toji fushiguro x female reader [chapter 2/5]
summary: you’re a faceless author of scandalous smut — great at writing steamy scenes but totally clueless about real-life romance (and with no one to match your freak). enter toji fushiguro, a hot stranger you (accidentally) throw up on during a drunken night out. surprise! he’s also the future voice actor for your smutty novel’s main character. can you survive the awkwardness of your disastrous meet-cute while keeping your identity (and dignity) a secret? welcome to the chaos of your own erotic fantasy romcom!
content warning & tags: (erotic) voice artist! toji, (smut) writer! reader, smutty content!! [will be added over the course of the series], sort of workplace romance, secret/anon identity, slight social media au, meet-cute, virgin!reader, single dad dilf! toji, kid! megumi, strangers to lovers (?), she fell first but he fell harder, mentions of other characters (satoru gojo, suguru geto, megumi fushiguro, shoko eiri, brief mentions of ryomen sukuna)
notes: hi friends !! i hope u're liking the series so far <3 seems like persephone! suguru can't catch a break huh D: i wanted to highlight the same scene[s] from suguru's perspective, just to give him a lil depth :") if u want to keep up with the series more quicker, i highly suggest keeping up with the series on ao3 [for quicker updates ^^] thank you to my taglist for their support too :)
read on ao3! ● series masterlist
➤ related au: persephone [business tycoon! sukuna x reader]
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the drive to megumi’s school was unusually quiet. 
normally, toji would lean into his usual “cool, brooding single dad” act — just enough to avoid attention but keep an edge. but today, he’d done something weirdly out of character: asked you to tag along.��
not that he’d admit it was for any other reason than megumi, obviously. 
nope. definitely nothing else to it.
just… kinda nice having you along for the ride, right?
the two of you settled into his car, and you couldn’t help but smirk at how the radio was suspiciously off. toji didn’t give any explanation, but you were pretty sure it was a preventative measure to avoid another “iris” moment and the resulting accidental kiss. 
which, okay, was kinda cute.
toji tapped his fingers against the wheel, casting the occasional sideways glance at you before finally saying, “so… just curious.” he cleared his throat, like he was trying not to make a big deal out of the question. “what made you, uh… you know, want to write those books?”
you blinked. “oh, my books?”
“yeah, the… passionate ones.” he coughed, looking anywhere but at you. “like, what inspired you to write those… intensely worded stories?”
you laughed, caught off guard. “okay, first of all, ‘intensely worded?’ that’s one way to put it.”
“look, i’m trying to be polite,” he said, giving you a sidelong smirk that made your stomach flip. “but seriously. i mean, it’s a specific line of work. what got you into it?”
you chewed on the inside of your cheek, feeling the familiar blush creeping up. 
“uh, well… honestly, i just thought it was something fun to try out. i like romance and, you know… writing what people connect with. people like the, um, more intense stuff, so… figured i’d give it a shot.”
he nodded, taking it all in. “huh. so, all that… stuff you write —” he paused, trying to phrase it carefully. “that’s from experience or…?”
you let out an awkward laugh, your face heating up even more. “not exactly. i… well, i actually haven’t… i mean, i’m still… y’know.” 
you cleared your throat. “a virgin.”
toji’s eyes went wide. 
“wait, you’re telling me… all that detail, the way you describe things, and you haven’t even…”
“nope.” you shook your head, biting back a smile at his shocked expression. “guess you could say i have a good imagination?”
he let out a low whistle, looking at you with something that was a mix of admiration and… something else you couldn’t quite place. “well, i gotta give you credit. you write it like you’ve, uh, lived it.”
you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “guess it’s all about the research.”
he raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “research, huh? well, you’ve got some serious talent in the ‘research’ department then. i’d hate to see what you’d write if you actually… y’know, had the experience.”
“well, maybe one day i will,” you shot back, feeling a little bolder. “and then my books will be even better.”
he chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “you’re something else.”
for a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, a silent understanding passing between you. 
the tension was thick enough to cut, and toji looked like he was about to say something else when megumi’s school finally came into view. he let out a breath, the moment effectively broken as he focused on finding a parking spot.
but as you both waited for megumi to come out, you couldn’t help but wonder what was going through toji’s head… and if he was thinking the same thing you were.
the second megumi spotted you and toji at the school gates, he was off like a shot, running toward you with all the enthusiasm of a kid who’d been waiting all day to see his favorite people. his grin was wide, and his little backpack bounced as he bolted up. and to your surprise (and toji's too), he didn’t go for his dad first — nope, he ran right into your arms like you were his personal safe haven.
“you came!” he squealed, hugging you tightly around the waist as if he hadn't just seen you yesterday. you laughed, hugging him back just as warmly, and you could practically feel the teachers’ eyes drilling holes into your back.
“of course i did,” you said, ruffling his hair. “what, you thought i’d miss out on picking you up?”
“nope!” he said proudly, pulling back and grabbing your hand as if to make sure you wouldn’t vanish.
toji stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets, trying to hide his smirk as he watched the scene unfold. yeah, he wasn’t about to complain about you being here — not at all.
as you all made your way back to the car, you couldn’t help but notice a few teachers and parents exchanging knowing looks, no doubt remembering how toji introduced you as his “colleague” yesterday. they didn’t look too convinced anymore.
inside the car, megumi settled comfortably between the two of you in the backseat, clutching his backpack like he was about to embark on the world’s most exciting road trip.
“sooo!” megumi started, a mischievous look in his eyes. “did you two have fun while i was in school?”
toji let out a tiny cough from the driver’s seat, looking at you in the rearview mirror with a hint of a smirk. “megumi, what exactly do you mean by ‘fun’?”
“i dunno, daddy!” megumi rolled his eyes in that dramatic way only an eight-year-old could pull off. “you were smiling all morning! you never do that!”
you tried to hide a smile yourself, glancing sideways at toji. “he was smiling all morning, huh?”
toji shot you a playful glare before focusing back on the road. “you got somethin’ to say about that?”
“nope, nothing at all,” you replied, suppressing a giggle.
“you’re smiling too!” megumi added, turning his full attention to you with a face that was way too smug for a kid his age. “did you like being with my dad today?”
your eyes widened as you exchanged a quick look with toji. “well, yes, i had a great time working with your dad,” you said carefully, trying to dodge the landmine that megumi had unknowingly set.
“yeah, but did you and daddy, like, do anything else? like on tv?”
toji almost choked, and you couldn’t stop a laugh from slipping out. “megs! we just talked and laughed a bit, nothing like in the movies, promise.”
megumi looked skeptical, folding his arms. “then why are you both acting all funny?”
“what do you mean, ‘funny’?” toji asked, raising an eyebrow in the rearview mirror.
“like… i dunno, all shy and weird,” megumi huffed, his brows furrowing in confusion. “like when the kids at school talk about people who like each other.”
your cheeks were definitely heating up, and you could tell toji was trying not to laugh.
“sometimes people just… act like that when they’re really comfortable,” toji explained, trying to sound nonchalant. “not everything’s like it is on tv.”
“oh,” megumi said, though he didn’t look totally convinced. 
“soooo, when are you guys gonna have a playdate without me?”
“what?” you and toji both burst out at the same time, while megumi just grinned, proud of himself for catching you both off guard.
“you two look like you want more playdates,,” he added with a shrug, like he was the expert on the subject.
toji shook his head, laughing under his breath. “how about you let the adults figure that out, hm?”
“fine, fine,” megumi said, obviously pleased with himself. “but i wanna know when you guys have another playdate, ‘kay?”
you patted his shoulder, chuckling. “deal, kiddo. you’ll be the first to know.”
as toji pulled out onto the street, you settled back, sharing an amused look with him in the mirror. and as megumi continued his non-stop chatter about school, dinosaurs, and how he wanted both of you to come to his next soccer game, you felt that fuzzy feeling again — the same one from last night. maybe having these two around wasn’t so bad at all.
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toji pulled up to his house, shifting into park before a sudden realization hit him like a freight train — you were still along for the ride. it was supposed to be a quick pickup, maybe a casual goodbye once megumi was dropped off, but here you were, in the passenger seat, smiling as megumi practically buzzed with excitement beside you.
"uh… so… yeah, this is… my place,” he said, scratching the back of his head, feeling uncharacteristically awkward. he wasn’t sure if he should invite you in or just wave goodbye with some half-baked excuse. 
but before he could even finish his internal debate, megumi had his own plans.
“that means you can come see my room!” megumi exclaimed, his eyes lighting up as he threw open the door and scrambled out of the car.
“oh, i don’t wanna intrude —” you started, already moving to say goodbye, but megumi was way ahead, bounding up the steps and glancing back with an impatient wave.
“c’mon!” he insisted, practically dancing in place with excitement. “you gotta see my plushies and my legos! oh, and my origami stuff, and —”
toji opened the front door, and as soon as you were inside, megumi was by your side again, tugging at your hand with a grip surprisingly strong for a kid. “you gotta see everything!” he said, eyes gleaming.
“okay, okay!” you laughed, letting him lead the way.
toji watched, a little dumbfounded. he’d seen megumi excited before, sure, but this was a whole new level. “hey, uh, megs, maybe she’s tired. we don’t wanna overwhelm her, y’know?” he said, trying to sound casual and almost hoping you’d back out to save him from his own nerves.
“no way!” megumi protested, his voice emphatic. “she’s gotta see my dinos and my race cars and my drawings too! pleaseeee?”
“don’t worry, i think i can handle it,” you chuckled, shooting toji a reassuring look. 
he let out a sigh, feeling a mix of relief and… something else he really didn’t wanna unpack at the moment.
megumi practically dragged you down the hall toward what toji modestly called his “suite,” which was more like a sprawling kid paradise decked out in a swanky setup. it was undeniably luxurious — the kind of suite most people would call their whole apartment — but it was still a kid’s space through and through. plushies lay scattered around in a trail leading to the bedroom, where legos, crayons, toy cars, and origami creations decorated the floor in random bursts of color. every available surface was covered in megumi’s little projects and treasures.
“wow, megumi, you weren’t kidding!” you said, genuinely impressed. you walked over to a group of origami animals on his desk. “did you make all of these?”
“yep!” he puffed up his chest with pride, holding up a particularly crumpled paper crane. “this one’s my favorite. it didn’t come out great, but it’s special ‘cause daddy helped me with it.”
toji felt a funny warmth spread through his chest. he tried to brush it off, but it was hard to ignore seeing the two of you in his home, talking like it was the most normal thing in the world.
“and here’s mr. wiggles!” megumi said, suddenly pulling over a massive, well-loved teddy bear that looked like it’d been through a hundred battles. “daddy got him for me when i was little.”
“mr. wiggles is a great name,” you laughed, crouching down to inspect the bear. “i bet he’s been on a lot of adventures with you.”
“yeah, he’s been to the doctor with me, and the dentist, and he helps me with my homework sometimes,” megumi explained with the seriousness only an eight-year-old could muster.
toji chuckled, folding his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “he’s a busy bear, huh?”
“super busy,” megumi agreed, pulling you over to his lego city next. 
“this is where the ninjas live, and over here’s where the dinosaurs hide.”
“oh, and here i thought ninjas and dinos couldn’t get along,” you teased, glancing over at toji, who was doing a poor job at hiding his amusement. “you must be the peacekeeper, megumi.”
“i am!” he laughed, then suddenly looked up at toji. 
“daddy, can she stay for dinner?”
toji’s eyes widened slightly. he hadn’t even considered dinner yet.
but the thought of you here, in his space, a part of his evening routine with megumi… it felt way too good to resist.
“uh, well, if she’s got the time,” he mumbled, scratching his neck and pretending to be cool about it. “you don’t gotta stick around if you got other things.”
“actually, i’d love to stay, if that’s okay?” you said, glancing between them both.
toji tried to act casual, even though his heart was doing a little victory lap. “yeah, sure. why not?”
“yes!” megumi cheered, already running out the door. “i’ll get the table ready!”
“is he… always this excited?” you asked, turning to toji with a chuckle.
“not usually,” toji admitted, scratching the back of his head. “guess you got that effect on him.”
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the three of you settled around the table, megumi proudly munching away on his ironman-themed plate, the red and gold colors a little faded from years of use. he shot you a grin, already halfway through explaining ironman’s latest mission to save the world… for the third time.
toji, meanwhile, sat across from you, feeling inexplicably fidgety as he set down the fine china he’d pulled from the back of a cabinet. he'd dusted off every inch of those plates — his mind still spinning with why he even bothered. 
he wasn’t usually one for this kind of thing, but when he saw how carefully you ladled the stew into the bowls, he couldn’t help but notice you gave that same care to megumi too, nodding along as he chattered away about his superhero theories.
“you know, daddy never gets the cool plates out for anyone else,” megumi piped up, completely oblivious to the faint flush creeping up his dad��s face.
“oh really?” you chuckled, raising an eyebrow in toji’s direction. “well, i feel honored then. i’ll try not to drop it.”
toji groaned internally, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “kid’s got a big mouth,” he muttered, shooting megumi a faux warning look, though his own ears were burning.
“you’ve got good taste, though,” you teased him lightly, glancing down at the pristine white china with intricate blue patterns.
“yeah, well… s’just plates. they’re old,” toji shrugged, hoping that downplaying it would erase any significance you might read into the whole situation.
“old but pretty,” you said, not looking up as you ladled some stew for megumi, who was eagerly waiting with his bowl stretched out. “here you go, megumi. i made it a little less spicy for you, just like you asked.”
megumi’s eyes sparkled as he accepted the bowl. “thanks! you make the best stew!”
toji watched as you smiled back at megumi, completely absorbed in whatever he was babbling about, offering little “uh-huhs” and “reallys” as he animatedly described his favorite ironman scene. watching you like this, giving his kid your full attention even while busy in the kitchen, felt so… weird. 
like something he didn’t realize was missing, but now that it was there, he couldn’t imagine going without it.
“and then ironman totally blasts the villain’s robot suit — kaboom!” megumi finished, flinging his arms wide as if to demonstrate the explosion.
“kaboom, huh?” you laughed, sitting back in your chair, clearly enjoying his enthusiasm. “sounds intense.”
“yeah! ironman doesn’t mess around,” megumi said with a sage nod, as if passing on some universal wisdom. “but he’s gotta protect everyone, even the people who don’t like him.”
“sounds like a pretty cool guy,” you mused, glancing over at toji with a small smile. “maybe you two have something in common.”
“oh, god,” toji groaned, but he couldn’t fight the smirk that tugged at his lips. “don’t give him ideas, he’ll think i’m gonna go fight crime or somethin’.”
“wouldn’t that be so cool?” megumi interjected, eyes sparkling. “you could be like… iron dad!”
toji rolled his eyes, but he caught the look on your face — amused, warm, like you were seeing a side of him that no one else really noticed. 
and for some reason, that was way too close to the truth for comfort. 
he cleared his throat, glancing down at his stew to avoid meeting your gaze.
“maybe i’ll just stick to keeping this kid in one piece,” toji muttered, but his heart was beating a little faster than usual.
and as megumi kept up his enthusiastic rambling, it all started to feel too cozy, too right. the clinking of plates, the soft warmth in the air, the way you didn’t rush megumi but let him take center stage as he shared his endless thoughts — it all blended together into something that felt like home, even if toji wouldn’t dare say it out loud.
as you reached for another spoonful of stew, listening intently to megumi’s latest story about his lego creations, toji realized that, yeah… this felt pretty damn right.
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megumi clutched his book eagerly, eyes shining as he snuggled into bed, clearly over the moon that you’d agreed to stay for his bedtime story. he gave toji a serious look, announcing, “since daddy can’t do girl voices — cuz he’s a voicing actor, but he’s not that good — you gotta help with the girl lines, okay?”
“oh, yeah?” toji shot him a mock glare. “that’s a pretty big request, squirt. you sure i can’t just, y’know, growl like a tiger or something?”
megumi shook his head, adamant. “nope! you’re supposed to be the bear prince, and she’s the bunny princess! and then they meet at the river — just read, daddy.”
toji rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t hide the faint smile as he settled in beside megumi, 
taking the book from his son’s hands. “alright, alright, let’s do this right. bunny princess and bear prince — sounds about as weird as it gets, but we’ll make it work.”
with megumi sandwiched between the two of you, you leaned over to see the page. 
“the bunny princess hopped through the forest, searching for her friend, the bear prince, who was known for his wisdom and strength,” you read in a soft voice, giving it your best princess tone.
megumi nodded, satisfied. “much better than uncle gojo,” he whispered to you in a conspiratorial tone, “his princess voice is just… weird.”
toji stifled a snicker, picking up the next line. 
“the bear prince, with his deep, growly voice, stepped out from behind the tree, saying, ‘i hear you’re lookin’ for a friend. well, look no further.’”
megumi giggled, clutching the blanket as he looked up at toji in admiration. “now that’s a good bear voice, daddy! you don’t gotta growl or nothing.”
you shot toji a playful look. “see? you’re already halfway to voice actor stardom.”
“sure, sure, as long as i don’t have to wear princess crowns, i think i’ll survive,” he smirked, giving the book back to you to read the bunny’s next line.
“‘oh, bear prince, i’m so happy to see you!’ the bunny princess chirped, hopping closer. ‘the forest feels so safe with you here.’”
toji took his turn, grinning. 
“‘that’s right, princess. stick close to me, and nothing can harm you — not even that pesky fox from the riverbank.’”
megumi, eyes already starting to droop, nodded in sage approval, mumbling, “bears are super strong…”
as the story unfolded, with each of you taking on your character’s lines, you couldn’t help but notice how megumi’s little body relaxed more and more, eyelids growing heavier as he listened to the tale of the bunny princess and bear prince’s forest adventure.
 finally, after you’d read the line where the bunny and bear bid each other goodnight under the stars, you heard megumi’s soft, even breathing.
you and toji shared a glance, both of you lowering your voices.
“looks like our audience conked out before the big finale,” you whispered with a smile, your voice barely above a murmur.
“heh,” toji chuckled, glancing at his son’s sleeping face. “usually he stays up longer, keeps asking for more.” he paused, watching you with a look that seemed to say more than his words. “maybe he’s just got a soft spot for princess voices… or maybe, you know, a good storyteller.”
a soft warmth settled in the quiet room, the gentle rise and fall of megumi’s breathing filling the space as you both stayed still for a moment, neither wanting to break the spell.
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you stood up slowly from megumi’s bed, glancing down at the little guy, still out cold, his mouth slightly open as he clutched his iron man plush. the clock on the wall blinked “9:00 pm,” and your stomach sank a little — hadn’t you meant to leave hours ago? 
but when you made a quiet move toward the door, toji was right there, leaning in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets.
“you, uh, really don’t have to rush,” he said, almost nonchalant, though his gaze flicked over to megumi. “i mean, for his sake, y’know. wouldn’t want him freaking out if he wakes up in the middle of the night and you’re gone…”
“oh, of course,” you murmured, feeling a warm, slightly strange fluttering sensation at his words. 
“just… so he doesn’t get scared. yeah.”
you glanced down at yourself. god, what were you going to sleep in? your work clothes? 
toji seemed to read your mind, though, tilting his head a bit. “i think i got some old clothes you could wear if you want,” he offered, looking you up and down with that calm, appraising look that made you feel like he saw a bit more than he let on. “not the most fashionable, but they’re clean.”
“thanks, that’d be great,” you said, offering a small smile, and you turned to head toward the door to the guest room — then stopped. “wait… i think i left my phone on his nightstand.”
before you could overthink it, you turned back abruptly, intending to slip past toji back into megumi’s room. 
but somehow, in the dim lighting, the narrow doorway, the warmth of the moment… your face collided with his chest, and then, your lips met his, soft and sudden and all-consuming.
for a heartbeat, everything else fell away: the gentle ticking of the clock, the faint whirring of the a/c, even the warmth of megumi’s room. 
you felt nothing but the weight of toji’s lips against yours, the subtle intake of his breath as he seemed to register just what was happening. there was a moment of hesitation, and then his hand instinctively moved to your waist, pulling you closer with a soft, undeniable insistence.
his voice was a low whisper, barely more than a breath between you. “so… you were just gonna leave without even saying goodbye?”
for a split second, everything froze — the dim hallway, the soft, ambient sounds of the house, the fact that you were standing right outside megumi’s door, where one sleepy sound could catch you both. 
but that one breath against toji’s lips, so close, melted everything else away.
he didn’t pull back; if anything, his hold on your waist only tightened, fingers pressing just enough to send a warm ripple up your spine. his eyes met yours, slightly wide, as if he couldn’t quite believe he had you like this, so close. you could almost feel his heartbeat thrumming in sync with your own, and you let out a shaky breath, your lips brushing his again.
“this… is not what i planned when i came over,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out as your forehead touched his. “not — not in front of your kid’s room.”
“mm,” he whispered, gaze dropping to your lips, that barely-there smirk flickering across his face, “it’s a first for me too.” he held your gaze, his expression softening, something almost tender in his eyes as he raised his hand to gently brush a strand of hair from your face. 
“but if you wanted to leave… you would’ve pulled away by now.”
you bit your lip at the way his thumb lingered on your cheek, his breath warm against your skin, and before you knew it, your lips found his again. this time, it was slower, unhurried, like you had all the time in the world to feel the way his mouth moved against yours, soft and then a little firmer, as he seemed to lose himself in the moment.
he leaned into you, pressing you just slightly against the wall, his hand sliding from your waist up to the small of your back, drawing you close. the quiet was filled only with the shared breaths between you two, a quiet hum that passed between your lips, as if even the smallest sound might wake megumi just on the other side of the wall.
you found your hand on his chest, fingers curling in his shirt, pulling him a little closer, wanting to deepen the kiss even though every bit of common sense told you to stop. his lips parted, pressing small, lingering kisses along your lower lip, his fingers tracing gentle circles along your back as though he was trying to savor every second. you were barely breathing, lost in the warmth of him, feeling him melt just a little against you.
“god, you’re making it hard to stop,” he murmured against your lips, his voice almost a growl but so quiet it barely even registered.
“i don’t think i want to,” you whispered back, eyes meeting his in the dim light. he held your gaze, his thumb tracing a soft line along your cheek, but he didn’t move away, staying close, his nose brushing yours in a way that was so tender you almost forgot how precarious this was.
you both laughed quietly, the sound soft and low, the kind of laugh that was more of a breath shared between you. toji glanced back at megumi’s door, and for a second, his face softened in a way you rarely saw, as if he couldn’t help but feel this moment was just a little forbidden.
“maybe we should… try this somewhere a little less dangerous,” he muttered, though he didn’t make any move to let go, his gaze flicking back to yours.
“you mean… like a first date or something?” you murmured, lips curling into a soft smile.
“guess i don’t mind a second kiss either,” he replied, brushing his lips against yours one last time before stepping back, the space between you suddenly feeling too cold, too quiet.
as he stepped back, the reality of the hallway — the very literal door to his son’s room right beside you — set in, but the warmth still lingered, and the smile he gave you as he walked you down the hall felt like a promise for something more, something you both couldn’t wait to explore.
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the “boys night” at gojo-sonic’s swanky office was nothing short of its usual absurdity, with gojo dubbing it the “greatest tradition ever” as he practically threw around the “finest” sweet alcohol like it was candy. 
toji was there, albeit begrudgingly, mostly due to gojo’s persistence (“c’mon, you’re the only one who knows how to enjoy this premium stuff!”), and suguru joined from a dimly-lit zoom window, his face half-smiling, half-tired as he sipped on a glass of his own.
“missing out, suguru,” gojo teased, tilting back his drink. “oh, but thanks for the wine, by the way. nothing says ‘wish i were there’ like sending over a box of booze from you and your business partner.”
“oh, for heaven’s sake,” suguru muttered, though his smirk suggested he didn’t mind. “it was a halloween release. figured it’d keep you all happy and…unbearable.”
toji chuckled, swirling his glass and trying not to roll his eyes as gojo feigned offense.
“unbearable? me?” gojo put a hand over his heart. “if you actually joined us in person, you’d see i’m the highlight of this ‘boys night.’ it’s practically a public service, sugu-boo. oh, and shoutout to persephone for making it possible, of course.”
“yeah, yeah, you’re a real gift to mankind,” suguru replied, his tone deadpan, but his smile lingered as he took a sip. 
“so what’re you boys talking about? since i can’t be there to hear it firsthand.”
toji shifted, debating on whether or not he wanted to launch into the mess that had been swirling in his head all week. but with the alcohol settling in and gojo’s usual chatter as encouragement, it was hard to hold back. he sighed, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, looking anywhere but the screen.
“oh, just, y’know… kid stuff.”
gojo raised a brow. “kid stuff? you mean, how megumi’s practically obsessed with y/n?”
“please,” toji groaned, rubbing his temple. “that kid’s dragging her around like she’s his second parent.”
“sounds like he’s got good taste,” suguru noted with a grin, sipping his wine. “and from what you said last week, he’s already planning on keeping her around for life, huh?”
toji shot him a look through the screen, but he knew they were right. megumi was over the moon whenever you came around, from showing off every little toy he owned to making you part of bedtime stories. 
it was adorable, sure, but it made this whole situation way more… intense than he’d signed up for.
“kid talks about her all the time,” toji admitted, swirling his glass again. “like, even his teachers thought she was his mom or something. and she…well, she’s good with him. she’s damn good.” he looked down, a smirk tugging at his lips. “which, believe it or not, i didn’t expect when we first met.”
“ohhh?” gojo leaned in, that smirk of his spreading as he raised a brow. “and you? what did you expect?”
toji glanced away, that hint of a smirk still there, despite himself. “don’t make me say it.”
“oh, we’re making you say it,” gojo teased, sliding another drink his way. “so, you’re saying she’s…wife material?”
suguru nearly choked on his drink, and the way he was watching toji from the screen made it clear he wasn’t missing a second of this.
toji scoffed, taking a gulp to keep from saying anything too embarrassing. “she’s… special. hell, i didn’t plan on getting attached, and yet —” he paused, chuckling almost self-consciously. “i feel like a damn teenager.”
“and here i thought you were the king of nonchalance,” suguru teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji muttered, trying to shake it off. 
but the truth was, the second he was alone, he found himself thinking about you, about the way megumi’s face lit up when you were around, the way you just… fit into their little world without even trying. 
it was surreal. 
the damn wine probably didn’t help, either.
gojo slapped him on the back, clearly enjoying this way too much. “well, for what it’s worth,” he said, his voice surprisingly sincere, “megumi deserves someone good. and maybe you do too.”
toji rolled his eyes, but he didn’t bother denying it. if anything, he felt the tiniest glimmer of hope. 
that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t screw this one up.
gojo snickered, his smirk all-knowing as he raised his glass. “i’ve got it,” he said with way too much enthusiasm, the kind he only had when he was on the brink of embarrassing the hell out of someone. “toji, you and y/n could do a joint wedding with suguru and his ‘business partner.’ i mean, if suguru grows a spine and confesses, that is.”
on the other end of the zoom call, suguru’s smirk vanished as fast as it appeared, and he looked away, running a hand through his hair. “not happening,” he muttered, all but glaring at the screen. “it’s… complicated.”
gojo pouted, tilting his head in mock sympathy. “oh, come on. ‘complicated’? it’s not that deep. just throw her some wine, flash that tragic backstory, and she’ll be yours in no time.”
“it’s not that simple,” suguru snapped, though his face softened as he leaned back, sighing. 
“besides, we’re in… limbo, i guess. we’ve had our confessions, but there’s no label. not yet, anyway.”
“awww,” gojo teased, his voice dripping with feigned sympathy. 
“look at us! a bunch of grown men, all hung up on love troubles. what happened to the days when it was just work, money, and some good old-fashioned ego trips?”
“those days are over,” toji grunted, crossing his arms as he glanced at the screen. “but you’d know a thing or two about those ‘ego trips,’ wouldn’t you?”
suguru let out a snort of laughter, finally letting himself relax a little. “and don’t forget ryomen sukuna,” he added, the name alone making everyone groan. “that bastard practically swooped in to turn our business lives upside down and make everything more… interesting. joint venture or not, the guy’s insufferable. he’s like a cat, always hissing and scratching his way to the top.”
gojo laughed, tipping his drink toward the screen. “tell me about it. it’s like everyone has a thorn in their side when it comes to love these days.” 
he smirked, nudging toji. “and you, my friend, are no exception. so when’s the confession, huh? are we waiting on some fairytale moment here?”
toji rolled his eyes, swirling the last of his drink. “i’m not confessing to anyone,” he grumbled. “i’ve got megumi to think about.”
“right, right, megumi,” gojo said, drawing out the name with a grin that was anything but innocent. “and here i thought you liked y/n for yourself.”
“and here i thought you’d shut up at some point tonight,” toji shot back, but his lips betrayed him with a faint, reluctant smirk.
suguru leaned forward, his voice softer. “well, at least megumi’s happy with her around, right? maybe… it’s worth taking a chance.”
toji’s smirk faded, his expression thoughtful. “maybe.”
“see?” gojo beamed, practically giddy. “love is in the air, boys. even for the most stubborn among us.”
suguru shook his head, a smile creeping back onto his face. “well, here’s to complicated feelings and maybe, just maybe, getting them right someday.”
they all raised their glasses, clinking to their shared madness in work, love, and everything in between.
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you flopped back on your bed, barely able to keep the grin off your face as you hit the facetime button for shoko. she picked up after a few rings, a cigarette lazily dangling from her fingers, eyebrows raised as she took in your expression.
“uh-oh. what’s got you looking like that?” she asked, smirking.
you let out a giddy little laugh, immediately burying your face in your hands. “shoko, i swear i’m losing it. i’m a grown woman, but i feel like a teenager. it’s embarrassing.”
“this better be good,” she drawled, putting the cigarette to her lips and leaning back, looking every bit the part of the unimpressed but totally-invested best friend.
“okay, okay,” you said, voice dropping to a dramatic whisper. “toji kissed me. twice — by accident, both times. twice, shoko!”
she let out a low whistle, blowing out a plume of smoke. “so the ‘brooding single dad’ finally made his move, huh? you know, twice starts to sound less like an accident and more like he’s got a thing for you.”
you laughed, covering your face with your hands. “oh my god, don’t say that! i can’t even handle it. and he’s just… so close all the time. it’s like every time i turn around, he’s there.”
“that sounds terrible,” she said, rolling her eyes in mock sympathy. “a tall, ridiculously hot single dad, right up in your personal space. how are you surviving?”
you groaned, flopping back dramatically. “it’s not just that! i mean, megumi’s there too, and he’s the cutest kid. he loves me, shoko, i’m actually losing my mind. i feel like i’m part of their lives, and it’s… weirdly nice?”
shoko’s smirk softened a little, her gaze warmer. “sounds like you’re finally finding something real,” she murmured, her voice thoughtful. “i mean, not just with toji, but… you know, with people. gojo insisted you needed someone to keep you on track, but honestly, it sounds like you’re just finding your own way.”
“thank you for not thinking i’m insane,” you muttered, grinning at her.
“please, i’ve been waiting for something juicy like this to pop up in your life,” she replied, flicking some ash into an ashtray with a smirk. “so tell me everything — i want the full rundown on these ‘accidental’ kisses.”
you launched into the details, recounting the flustered stammering, the way you could hardly breathe when he got that close, how you felt like you were in some kind of slow-motion rom-com. shoko didn’t bat an eye, laughing in all the right places, raising her eyebrows at the moments you whispered, and shaking her head whenever you sounded downright ridiculous.
“y’know,” she finally said as you caught your breath, “if this is what being your manager is gonna be like, i might just be here for it. international author and all,” she teased, quoting gojo.
“i’m just glad i have someone who gets it,” you admitted, voice softer. “this is all new to me… the book success, this... love life thing.”
she gave you a small, knowing smile. “well, get used to it. sounds like there’s a lot more coming your way.”
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the month flew by in a series of stolen moments that made you feel like you were the protagonist in one of your own novels. 
and, true to his nature, toji somehow managed to sneak in a kiss (or two, or three, but who's counting?) whenever he found you alone at the studio, away from gojo's incessant commentary, the other voice actors, and the wandering eyes of your new manager, shoko ieiri.
you still couldn’t forget that first almost subtle kiss, right outside the recording booth. 
you’d just handed him his revised lines, trying to ignore the way his fingers brushed against yours as he took the pages.
“y’know, you keep handing me all these steamy lines,” he murmured, voice dropping, his mouth way too close to your ear. “someone might think you’re just giving me an excuse.”
“i-it’s for the story,” you stammered, and before you could process it, he leaned down, catching you in a quick, teasing kiss.
“mm. very convincing.” he smirked, straightening just as someone walked by.
“toji!” you hissed, glancing around like a guilty teenager.
“what? i thought it’d help with the performance.” he gave you a half-shrug, that lazy grin of his making your pulse jump. “gotta sell the romance, right?”
then there was the time in the elevator after one of his late recording sessions. you’d been babbling about something mundane, trying to fill the quiet, but he wasn’t paying attention to your words; instead, he just watched your mouth. 
before you knew it, the doors slid closed, and he had you pressed against the mirrored wall, his mouth on yours, hands braced on either side of your head.
“you know,” you whispered breathlessly when you finally broke apart, “if shoko sees us, she’s gonna kill me.”
“good thing we’re alone then,” he murmured, not bothering to step back, his eyes dropping to your lips. “wouldn’t want her thinking you’re getting… distracted on the job.”
“me?” you managed, swallowing a laugh. “you’re the one who can’t keep his hands to himself!”
“maybe i’ll try harder,” he whispered, brushing his thumb along your jaw in a way that felt anything but apologetic. “or maybe i won’t.”
of course, he didn’t. 
the next week, you’d been huddled over a script in the empty break room, reviewing edits from gojo. you barely heard him come in before he slipped up behind you, one hand casually planted on the table as he leaned over your shoulder.
“need any help with those lines?” he asked, voice low, right against your ear.
you barely suppressed a shiver, trying to focus on the paper in your hands. “i, uh… no. no, i think i’ve got it.”
“you sure?” he murmured, lips grazing your ear this time. “because i think i could add a little… flair.”
you turned, and his face was right there, too close to pretend this was anything but what it was. 
before you could tell him off, he closed the gap, kissing you slow and deep, like he had all the time in the world.
“toji,” you finally managed, pulling away, your face burning. “we are at work!”
he shrugged, utterly unbothered. “yeah, but no one’s around, are they?”
you glared, trying to look serious, but he just leaned back, smirking. “besides, i’d say that counts as research.”
“research?”
he grinned, eyes twinkling with a playful light. “gotta stay in character, right?”
every encounter was a tug-of-war between professionalism and… whatever this was. you couldn’t deny you looked forward to the thrill of these secret kisses, even though you spent half your day looking over your shoulder, waiting for shoko to round a corner and catch you in the act.
toji, on the other hand, was infuriatingly nonchalant. like he didn’t care if anyone saw — like he almost wanted to be caught. and he never missed an opportunity to remind you of that.
“so, what’ll it be?” he asked one afternoon as you tried to dodge his latest attempt in the hallway. “you gonna keep hiding from me? or are you finally gonna admit you like it?”
“i’m not hiding,” you replied, trying to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks.
he laughed softly, the sound low and warm. “you’re a terrible liar.”
just then, footsteps echoed from around the corner. you froze, but toji just gave you one last teasing look and walked off, as if nothing had happened.
and maybe that was the worst part — no matter how many times he pulled you in, kissed you breathless, he could just walk away, leaving you wondering if you’d imagined it all.
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toji fushiguro, love-struck fool of the century. 
and he hated it. 
he’d scoffed his way through plenty of rom-coms, rolling his eyes at any lovesick protagonist with that stupid, half-dazed smile, lips still parted like they’d just been kissed breathless. 
he never thought he’d be one of them. yet here he was, pacing around his apartment, occasionally touching his lips like some starry-eyed teenager.
“you’re acting like a damn idiot,” he muttered to himself, brushing a hand through his hair, but even that couldn’t erase the lovesick grin creeping onto his face. he barely noticed his phone buzzing with the weekly roster of sugar mamas and daddies, all waiting for their weekly breadcrumb texts from him. hell, he even felt guilty about it now. 
because compared to you? they didn’t stand a chance.
case in point: a text popped up from mona, the one who liked to send him extravagant gifts just for existing.
mona [7:40 pm]: missed u this week. dinner on friday, baby?
toji squinted at the message, thumb hovering over the keyboard, debating if he should even respond. yeah, he probably should. he sighed, cracking his knuckles before halfheartedly typing out a response.
you [7:45 pm]: kinda busy friday. rain check?
there. short and sweet. 
in a past life, he would’ve at least flirted his way out of it. 
but now? he couldn’t muster up anything more. 
god, you’ve got it bad, he thought, half-annoyed at himself as he imagined the smirk gojo would throw his way if he ever found out about this pathetic show of loyalty.
and speaking of the devil —
“toooji!” gojo sang as he slid into the studio the next day, obnoxiously loud.
“man, you’ve been… awfully serious lately. not a single call from mona? or was it alicia? both?”
toji barely glanced up, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. “i’ve been busy. work.”
“work,” gojo echoed, eyes narrowing with a knowing gleam. “right. and what kind of work are we talking about? the kind that comes with a certain… author’s name attached?”
toji’s lip twitched, but he ignored him. he figured the less he reacted, the less ammo gojo would have.
“oh, come on!” gojo crowed, leaning over the soundboard with an irritating grin. “you really think i haven’t noticed? the lingering looks, the way you sneak off for like ten minutes every time she’s around. you’re a mess, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, folding his arms across his chest. “i’m not a damn kid, satoru.”
“coulda fooled me,” gojo teased. “god, you look like you’re on the verge of a love confession every time i see you two. why not just go full rom-com mode and declare it in the rain or something?”
“shut your damn mouth,” toji muttered, feeling his ears heat. 
the idea had crossed his mind. he thought about it every damn time he saw you smile or catch his eye across the studio. 
and it was driving him insane.
“speaking of confessions,” gojo continued, not missing a beat, “heard you’ve been turning down… basically everyone these days. sugar mamas, sugar daddies — wow, your self-control’s really kicked in.”
toji groaned, half in frustration, half in something else. it was true. he hadn’t even looked at his inbox in days. 
just not interested, he’d told himself, ignoring how pathetic that sounded.
“oh, oh, oh, don’t tell me…” gojo grinned, the realization dawning on his face. “you’ve gone monogamous, haven’t you?” he snorted. 
“god, you’re whipped.”
“i’ll let you live if you shut up now.”
gojo snickered, unbothered. “what? i’m just giving you some friendly advice, toji. tell her already. do the whole romantic declaration thing. maybe some roses. oh, or better yet, just kiss her the way you keep fantasizing about.”
toji rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “fantasizing, right.”
“admit it, you’re lovesick,” gojo replied with a smirk. “how’s that feel, big guy?”
just then, his phone buzzed again, and he glanced down to see a new message from larry, one of his sugar daddies.
larry: fancy a weekend trip? all expenses on me, baby ;)
toji groaned and quickly sent back a “no thanks, busy,” before slipping his phone away. he looked up to find gojo staring at him, practically vibrating with amusement.
“see? whipped!” gojo announced, loud enough for half the floor to hear.
“keep it down,” toji growled, but he couldn’t keep the ghost of a smile off his face. he knew gojo was right, even if he hated admitting it. he was done pretending it wasn’t true. 
hell, he could barely go an hour without wanting to text you, wanting to see you.
“you don’t get it,” toji said, more to himself than gojo. “she’s… different.”
“oh, i bet she is,” gojo said, nodding like he understood. “now, are you gonna be an idiot and keep pouting like you’ve got something to say? or are you gonna tell her?”
toji didn’t answer, just glared at him before heading for the studio door. but he knew gojo was right. 
he’d run out of excuses, out of distractions. maybe it was time he did something about this ridiculous crush.
as he walked out, he could practically hear gojo’s smirk follow him. 
great.
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toji could barely keep his heart from jumping out of his chest as he slipped the little origami ring into your hand, all smooth-like, muttering, “megumi made it for you.” 
but even as he said it, he could feel the heat creeping up his neck, knowing damn well it was mostly his work.
he’d sat down with megumi, who, after a long day of being “helpful,” had finally agreed to show him how to fold paper into something that resembled a ring. and it hadn’t exactly been easy.
“so, kiddo,” toji had started, fidgeting with the corner of a bright blue square of paper. “think you can show me how to, uh… fold this thing into a ring? for… you know… someone.”
megumi squinted up at him, hands on his hips like a pint-sized supervisor. “for her, right?”
toji cleared his throat, looking away. “yeah. something like that.”
megumi snorted, already getting a bit too wise for his age. “you don’t even know how to fold paper, daddy?”
toji groaned. “it’s harder than it looks, alright? just show me how you do it.”
the kid just shook his head, exasperated, but started showing him each fold with careful, precise fingers. they worked through a couple attempts, most of which looked nothing like rings and ended up in the growing pile of crumpled paper on the table. 
it was late, and toji couldn’t remember the last time he’d concentrated this hard on something so… simple. why the hell am i doing this? he thought, glancing at the clock. 
he had work in a few hours, a whole recording schedule to plan for, and yet here he was, folding paper with his son.
“think she’ll like it?” toji asked, holding up one of the finished attempts.
megumi shrugged, but he looked oddly serious as he studied the makeshift ring. “i think she will. ‘cause it’s from you.”
something in toji’s chest squeezed at that, and he clapped a hand on megumi’s shoulder. “don’t go telling anyone about this, alright? not even your uncle gojo. especially not him.”
“why?” megumi asked, genuinely curious.
“because he’ll never let me hear the end of it,” toji muttered, trying to ignore how ridiculous he sounded even to himself. 
yeah, making a paper ring at one in the morning for someone? absolutely insane, but he couldn’t shake the thrill of it, of imagining you smiling when he handed it over.
so, fast-forward to now: the ring was in your hand, your fingers slowly unfolding to reveal it. you glanced up at him, eyes soft with a mix of confusion and surprise, and damn if he didn’t feel his heart do a backflip right then and there.
“he… made this for me?” you asked, voice quiet, almost disbelieving.
“yeah,” toji replied, trying to sound casual but failing spectacularly. “thought you’d like it.” 
he rubbed the back of his neck, fighting the urge to look anywhere but at you, but he couldn’t resist sneaking a glance at your reaction.
you turned the ring over in your hand, a small smile tugging at your lips. “you sure it was megumi who made this?”
his throat went dry. “uh… mostly,” he admitted, feeling that warmth creeping up his neck again. “i might’ve… helped a little.”
“a little, huh?” you teased, eyes sparkling as you slipped the ring onto your finger. “so, is this, like… an official thing now? sealing the deal or whatever?”
toji felt his mouth go dry, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through him. 
he hadn’t planned on this meaning anything official — well, maybe he had, but he hadn’t exactly thought it through. 
yet seeing you wearing it, even if it was just a silly piece of folded paper, felt… right.
he shrugged, trying to keep his voice steady. “just thought you deserved somethin’ nice,” he said gruffly. “even if it’s… you know, paper.”
your fingers brushed his, a soft, barely-there touch, and he swore his heart skipped a beat. “i think it’s perfect, toji. no one’s ever… done something like this for me before.”
he felt his chest tighten, the weight of everything he wanted to say pressing against his ribcage. 
all those dumb, sappy things he’d been feeling lately, the way he couldn’t stop thinking about you, the way he felt like a lovesick idiot every time you smiled at him. but he couldn’t bring himself to say any of it, not yet. 
so instead, he settled for squeezing your hand, his thumb tracing a soft circle over your knuckles.
“good,” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. “’cause i don’t think i could stand it if you didn’t like it.”
you laughed softly, leaning into him, and he swore he felt the world narrow down to just the two of you, the faint rustle of the paper ring against your finger.
“guess i’ll have to keep it safe then, huh?” you murmured, looking up at him with that smile that made his heart do all kinds of dumb things.
“yeah,” he replied, voice low, unable to stop himself from leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “yeah, you do.”
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toji’s eyes nearly pop out of his head when he spots you at the office, that damn paper ring dangling from your phone charm. his paper ring — okay, technically megumi’s paper ring, but still, the one he’d folded with his own hands. he’d thought you might just tuck it away in a drawer or something. 
but here you were, letting it swing around proudly like some priceless gem. he’s not gonna lie — his heart just about catapults itself out of his chest.
he’s doing his best to keep his cool, but the urge to grab you right then and there, haul you over to a quiet corner, and ask you out on a real date feels stronger than ever. propose even. 
god, if he wasn’t too far gone already.
“what’s that little add-on?” gojo’s smug voice cuts through the air, and you laugh, holding up your phone so the charm dangles freely. gojo squints, pretending he’s inspecting it, but there’s a glint in his eye. “who’s the secret admirer, huh? must be a serious romantic to give you something… hand-crafted.”
you shrug, grinning a little too wide. “oh, just… something someone special made for me.”
toji’s face heats up, and he tries to look busy adjusting his microphone levels. 
dammit, did you have to say it like that? he catches gojo’s gaze lingering on him, eyebrows raised. 
oh, he’s got an idea all right.
“hm, special someone?” gojo teases, nudging you, then pretending to look around the room as if your admirer might jump out from behind the studio wall. “wonder who that could be, huh?”
you shrug, pretending like it’s nothing, though you shoot a sly glance in toji’s direction. “maybe he’ll make a move someday. he’s pretty bold but… you know, takes his time.”
toji’s pulse hammers away like a damn drumline, and he clears his throat, trying to sound nonchalant. “yeah, maybe he’s just… tryin’ to find the right time or somethin’.”
“aww,” gojo coos, looking between you and toji with a mischievous smile. “poor guy. wonder if he knows he’s got competition. think he can handle it?”
toji rolls his eyes, shooting gojo a glare. “ain’t nobody competin’,” he says, voice low but firm. “whoever this guy is… he’s got it handled.”
you laugh softly, the sound filling the room, and you hold up the charm, letting it dangle right in front of him as if it’s some sort of challenge. “think he’s ready to seal the deal?”
toji’s gaze flickers to the paper ring, then to you, and suddenly he feels this overwhelming urge to just… go for it. 
he could give you a real ring, sure, someday maybe, but there’s something about this little thing you’ve turned into a charm that makes it feel so much… bigger.
“actually…” he mutters, feeling heat crawl up his neck. “i was thinkin’… maybe i could take you out this weekend. just us.” he looks at you, eyes intent, and there’s a rare seriousness in his voice. “someplace nice. no studio, no interruptions.”
you blink, clearly a bit surprised, but your smile grows, softer now, almost shy. 
“are you asking me out, toji?”
he shrugs, feigning nonchalance but failing miserably. “yeah. maybe… maybe i am.” he reaches out, tugging the charm lightly, letting it dangle between you. “figured it was about time we took this thing seriously.”
gojo bursts into laughter, clapping his hands. “ohhh, i knew it! all this sneaking around, and here you are, finally getting down on one knee — metaphorically, of course.”
you nudge gojo, laughing. “shut it, satoru.”
but toji doesn’t even hear gojo’s teasing anymore. all he sees is you, with that damn paper ring swinging from your phone, smiling at him in a way that makes his chest feel tight. 
and suddenly, the idea of getting down on one knee doesn’t seem all that far-fetched after all.
“so… this weekend?” he asks, his voice a little softer now, just for you.
you nod, still beaming. “this weekend,” you confirm.
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toji, scrolling through your message with a slight frown, reads your rain check about having to edit your book draft instead of going out this weekend. 
he's in the middle of what can only be called a hurricane of preparation — megumi is zipping around the house, declaring he’ll help his dad look “very handsome” for his “playdate with the pretty lady.” in the midst of this, toji can’t even get a word in to explain that, uh, the plans may be changing.
princess [7:08 pm]: hey! i am SO sorry, but i may have to rain check today. i really thought i’d finish up the first draft of the dragon king’s sequel. but i got so behind, and now i have to edit this whole thing </3 you [7:09 pm]: can’t believe my competition is a bunch of words on a page, but…i get it.  you [7:09 pm]: any chance you could still use some company for that “editing?”
he’s barely finished typing his message when megumi tugs at his shirt, holding up a navy button-down that practically drags on the floor.
“isn’t this the one she likes, dad? wear this!” he says with a look that might as well be called “fushiguro persuasion.” toji chuckles, ruffling megumi’s hair.
“hey, buddy,” he says, crouching down to megumi’s level. “plans changed a little. she’s gotta work, so i’m going over there instead, alright?”
megumi narrows his eyes in the way only an eight-year-old can. “so... no fancy date?”
“nah, kid,” toji says, trying to sound casual as he rolls up his sleeves. “i’m just gonna keep her company while she works.”
megumi grins, a mischievous glint in his eye. “so like, a home date?” he asks, with all the implications an eight-year-old can muster.
toji chuckles, ruffling his son’s hair. “something like that.” he gives megumi a quick fist bump. “hold down the fort for me, alright? i’ll be back before bedtime.”
and with that, he heads out, his heart pounding just a little too fast for his own liking. he’s ready to face you with a low-key offer: if you’ll allow it, he’ll stay in for a “working date” and keep you company, just the two of you, with no plans other than being there.
toji ^.^ [7:15 pm]: well, what if the mountain comes to you instead of you coming to the mountain? i’ll bring snacks and stay out of your way. i’ll even help you proofread if you need it.
your heart nearly stops when you see toji’s message, and you almost drop your phone… straight into your bowl of instant noodles. 
he wants to come over? to your place? 
you glance around your apartment, and it’s a scene straight out of a disaster movie.
there’s a pile of bills stacked haphazardly on the coffee table, all of which you’re waiting for shoko to graciously come sort through for you. right next to it is a mountain of pr packages you haven’t had a chance to open — typewriters from some luxury brand, fountain pens with gold-tipped nibs, notebooks wrapped in satin, and… is that your favorite set of lingerie drying on top of the lampshade?
“oh, god.”
you glance at the time and frantically calculate: how long would it take to clear at least half of this mess? 
no, scratch that. how long would it take to get yourself presentable? you rush to your room, tossing things left and right in an attempt to find something clean and comfortable, feeling your face heat up just imagining toji seeing your place like this.
you [7:17 pm]: are you sure you wanna come over? i’m warning you. it’s, uh, very lived-in here. toji ^.^ [7:20 pm]: hey, i’m not gonna judge. besides, how bad can it be?
you stare at his reply, chewing on your lip, and quickly text back.
you [7:21 pm]: imagine a tornado hit a bookstore you [7:21 pm]: and a clothing store you [7:21 pm]: and, maybe a warehouse full of typewriters and fountain pens. toji ^.^ [7:23 pm]: you know what? sounds cozy. i’ll bring some snacks and maybe a cleaning crew if necessary 😂
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the doorbell rings before you could even realise, and your heart nearly leaps out of your chest. 
you’ve got a solid three seconds to take it all in: you’re wearing a three-day-old shirt that, if you recall correctly, was originally your dad’s from the 80s, your hair’s in a bun so messy it might as well be a bird’s nest, and there are bags of trash you’ve hastily crammed into every drawer within reach.
there’s no hiding the pile of unopened pr packages by the couch, though — one of which has a half-torn label boasting a “vintage, limited-edition typewriter experience.” right next to that, there’s a fancy pen set, still in its plastic wrap, resting on top of… is that a stack of half-eaten takeout containers? 
oh, god. why couldn’t you have had a warning before he showed up?
you take a shaky breath and yank the door open, plastering a smile on your face as if this is all completely normal.
"hey," toji says, looking you up and down with an easy grin. “lookin’ cozy.”
“uh... thanks?” you blurt out, mentally slapping yourself. cozy was definitely one way to put it. 
“come on in. sorry about the… ambiance. i wasn’t really expecting to have a, uh, guest.”
you step back, and he strides in, immediately taking in the organized chaos that is your apartment. his eyes linger on the tower of pr boxes and that unmistakable stack of overdue bills. he whistles low under his breath, clearly trying not to laugh.
"so, this is the writer life, huh?" he asks, picking up a typewriter package with a raised eyebrow. "fancy stuff. do you, uh… actually use any of this?”
“i try,” you mumble, crossing your arms defensively, though you can’t help smiling. “but the whole ‘starving artist’ vibe means these typewriters just end up as very expensive paperweights. which, ironically, i can’t even afford.”
toji laughs, setting the box down before glancing around again. his gaze falls on the lampshade, where your black lace lingerie is very prominently draped. you feel your face go hot as he smirks.
“i like the decor,” he says, nodding toward the lingerie with a wicked grin.
“oh, my god,” you groan, covering your face. “listen, i was not expecting company today, so please, feel free to avert your eyes.”
"nah, i think it's got… character," he teases, leaning in just a little too close. “besides, i don’t mind a little mess.”
"well, great, because this is as real as it gets," you reply, huffing as you try to look anywhere but at him. "you’re in the trenches now, toji.”
he chuckles, moving to pick up a crumpled, half-empty bag of chips from the couch. "hey, trenches i can handle. i’ve got an eight-year-old at home, remember? my place is an organized war zone on a good day."
you snort, still feeling a bit mortified. “and here i was thinking i could at least fake having my life together in front of you.”
“oh, please,” he says, brushing a stray hair from your cheek. “you should’ve seen me back in college. this? this is nothing. plus,” he adds, his voice dropping slightly, “it’s kind of… cute.”
cute. did he actually just call your disaster zone cute?
before you can respond, he grabs one of the unopened PR boxes and raises an eyebrow. “so, what’s in this one? wanna have an impromptu unboxing?”
“toji, i swear if you open that —”
“c’mon,” he says, grinning as he peels the tape back. “think of it as the highlight of our first ‘official’ homebody date.”
you shake your head, both amused and exasperated, watching him fish out an overly ornate fountain pen, which he holds up like it’s the holy grail.
“look at this thing,” he says, turning it over with a smirk. “you could probably sign million-dollar deals with this alone.”
“or, you know, sign off on all my overdue bills.” you laugh, unable to stay embarrassed. “go on, add it to the pile. it’s practically a landfill at this point.”
he laughs, setting the pen down and stepping closer, his voice low. “listen, i get it. my place might not have bills stacked up, but it’s full of… reminders that i’m a work in progress too.”
you glance up at him, and suddenly, all the embarrassment melts away. you’re in your messy apartment, standing in an ancient t-shirt with this man who’s managed to turn your chaotic night into something unexpectedly comforting.
"thanks for not… judging," you say softly, feeling yourself relax for the first time since he walked in. “i know i’m not exactly put together, but —”
“hey.” he cups your face with a gentle smile. “don’t worry about it. you’re perfect like this. messy, comfy, real.”
before you can stop yourself, you lean in, and he meets you halfway, his lips brushing softly against yours. it’s not hurried, not desperate. just… perfect.
it hits you about a second too late — you’re kissing toji in the middle of your apartment, clutching a bag of trash. oh god, and it reeks of stale mountain dew and monster. 
classy.
you pull back with a mortified look, though toji’s face is the exact opposite, his smirk spreading like he’s just unlocked a secret treasure.
“don’t stop now,” he murmurs, glancing down at the offending trash bag in your hand. “but, uh… maybe lose that first?”
“yeah, i think we’re past the first-date mystique at this point,” you mutter, feeling your face heat up as you chuck the bag towards the corner, praying it’s out of sight enough to ignore.
“oh, yeah, you’re really blowing my mind here,” he teases, chuckling as he takes in the apartment around you. “all the caffeine fumes, that questionable takeout smell. smells like home already.”
“oh, shut up,” you laugh, covering your face, because this man is about two seconds from making you combust. “i’m surprised you even wanted to stay for dinner after walking into this disaster.”
“well,” he says, trying and failing to look innocent, “you haven’t seen the other disaster i brought.”
you raise an eyebrow as he gestures to the counter, where multiple takeout bags are somehow all stacked up.
“toji, what is all this?” you blink, shuffling over to the spread.
“look,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “i couldn’t decide what you’d like, so i just… went with options.”
options is a gross understatement. 
there’s a bag from the local thai place with an array of curries and pad see ew, another filled with boxes of sushi, and an entire tray of tacos, complete with mini bottles of hot sauce. you spot a large pizza box (of course), and is that… baklava?
“uh, toji? are we feeding a small country tonight?” you laugh, bewildered. “what were you thinking?”
“honestly? wasn’t thinking. just grabbed whatever looked good,” he says, giving you a sheepish grin. “but c’mon, if you don’t like one thing, there’s a million others.”
you give him a look, half-amused, half-exasperated, but it’s endearing in a way only toji could pull off. who even does this?
“i mean, don’t get me wrong,” you say, nudging a pizza box to make space for the taco tray, “i’m glad you thought of all the options, but… what exactly were you planning for us to do with all this?”
he shrugs, coming up beside you to open one of the sushi boxes. “eat as much as we want, throw the rest in the fridge. ‘course, that’s only if you’re not gonna make me eat it all myself.”
you snort, imagining him single-handedly tackling all of it. “if you can handle it, be my guest.”
he leans in close, voice dropping to a rough whisper. “oh, i can handle it.”
you roll your eyes, but you’re grinning like an idiot. “god, you’re impossible.”
“hey, you invited me over,” he says, opening a little container of wasabi and gesturing for you to try a piece of sushi. 
“besides, i figured it’s a good way to cover all bases. what if you didn’t like tacos? or pizza? or… god forbid, baklava?”
you can’t help laughing as you pop the sushi in your mouth, appreciating the deliciously over-the-top effort he put into this. “for the record, i love all of it. but you, on the other hand, have a questionable appetite if you thought this much food for two people was necessary.”
“trust me, if this is what it takes to keep you happy, i’ll bring twice as much next time,” he says, dead serious.
“oh no, please, i don’t think i can handle that.” you give him a look, incredulous. “i’ll end up eating myself into a food coma, and then what? you gonna carry me to bed?”
“well,” he says, leaning in again with a devilish grin, “i wouldn’t mind. but i was thinkin’ more along the lines of a movie marathon to work off the calories.”
“movie marathon and food coma?” you raise an eyebrow. “toji, you’re dangerously close to making this a slumber party.”
he shrugs, his face playful but there’s something softer in his eyes. “would that be the worst thing?”
you feel a flutter in your chest, something that almost surprises you with how much it settles you. here he is, surrounded by mountains of takeout and your chaotic apartment mess, looking like this is exactly where he wants to be. 
it’s… kinda nice.
“alright,” you say, nudging him with your elbow. “you win. let’s have the weirdest, most food-filled homebody date ever. just, uh, ignore the mess. and don’t laugh at me if i pass out halfway through a movie.”
“promise.” he raises a hand, eyes glinting with humor. “cross my heart.”
the two of you start to dig in, laughing as you make jokes about how this is probably the strangest spread of food you’ve ever seen. every now and then, he’ll steal a quick kiss when he thinks he can get away with it, and you’re reminded just how much this man has wormed his way under your skin.
you’ve got no idea where this is going, but, staring at his smirk as he attempts to down an entire taco in one bite, you kinda hope it’s somewhere good.
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the two of you stand side by side at the sink, the remnants of your feast sprawled across the counter. you’re scrubbing a particularly stubborn pan when you decide it’s the perfect time to hand toji the aux.
“alright, mister fancy chef,” you say, smirking as you pass him your phone. “you get to choose the soundtrack for our post-dinner clean-up. no pressure.”
“oh, no pressure at all,” he deadpans, scrolling through your playlist. you catch a glimpse of the mischievous grin creeping onto his face as he lands on an old favorite.
the unmistakable intro of dancing queen by abba fills the kitchen, and your mouth drops open in disbelief. 
“seriously? this? right now?” you laugh, a mix of amusement and embarrassment bubbling inside you.
“hey, don’t knock it till you try it!” he shoots back, raising his hands as if to defend his choice. “it’s a classic. plus, it takes me back to that night at the bar when you were all... well, you.”
you roll your eyes, but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. “i was a mess.”
“yeah, but you were a cute mess.” he chuckles, and you feel the heat rise in your cheeks at the compliment.
as the upbeat tune plays on, you both start washing the dishes, swaying your hips to the rhythm. 
“you can dance, you can jive…” the lyrics echo through the air, and toji’s energy pulls you in. 
you catch him glancing at you with that smirk again, and the way his eyes light up makes your stomach flutter.
“just imagine,” he says, a teasing glint in his eye, “the two of us back at that bar. you, all over the place, and me just trying to figure out how to survive the night.”
you laugh, feeling nostalgic. “yeah, and then i somehow managed to puke all over your shoes.”
“my favorite shoes,” he says dramatically, rolling his eyes, but there’s a playful warmth in his tone. “but, honestly? worth it.”
the song builds, and you’re both lost in the moment, laughter and soap suds flying everywhere.
“see that girl, watch that scene…”
“how did we go from that night to this?” you ponder aloud, glancing at him. “i mean, here we are, washing dishes and dancing to abba.”
“it’s an upgrade he says, giving you a lopsided grin. “you know, from drunken disasters to… kitchen romance.”
“romance?” you raise an eyebrow, challenging him.
“oh, come on,” he says, stepping closer, the teasing slipping away from his tone. “there’s definitely something romantic about this. a pair of idiots like us, sharing this weird, beautiful mess.”
you can’t help but blush, your heart racing as you take in the way his gaze lingers on your lips. “digging the dancing queen…”
“you know, if this song gets stuck in my head, i’m blaming you,” you quip, trying to deflect the intensity of the moment.
“good luck with that,” he chuckles, moving even closer, the space between you almost nonexistent now. 
“night is young and the music’s high…”
his fingers brush against yours, the innocent touch sending sparks up your arm. the beat continues, your breaths getting heavier as the song builds up to the chorus. 
“dancing queen, feel the beat of the tambourine…”
you’re both staring at each other, and suddenly, the kitchen feels too small, too charged with the electricity of the moment.
“toji…” you start, but the words die on your lips as he leans in, his intent clear.
“just one kiss,” he murmurs, the corner of his mouth lifting in a seductive smile. “for old time’s sake.”
before you can reply, he closes the gap, his lips capturing yours with a gentle yet insistent pressure. 
it’s like a scene from a movie — the soft warmth of his mouth against yours, the playful scent of the takeout wafting around you, the soft glow of the kitchen light illuminating his features.
you melt into him, heart racing as you kiss him back, losing yourself in the moment. the lyrics of the song seem to fade into the background, leaving just the two of you — the world outside disappearing entirely. 
when you finally pull away, both of you breathless, there’s a glint of something deeper in his eyes. 
“wow,” he breathes, still holding your gaze. “i think i like this new tradition.”
you chuckle, still buzzing from the kiss. “yeah, who knew washing dishes could be so… eventful?”
“well,” he says, leaning in closer again, voice low and teasing, “we haven’t even finished the song yet. you ready for round two?”
you’re half-dazed, your heart racing as you sit on the kitchen counter, toji’s arms caging you in, keeping you close. dancing queen continues to play in the background, but all you can focus on is the warmth radiating from him and the way his breath mingles with yours.
“you have got to stop making these kisses a regular thing,” you tease, half-heartedly trying to sound serious, but the playful glint in your eyes gives you away.
“especially when i’m propped up on my kitchen counter like this,” you add, trying to maintain some semblance of decorum, but you can’t help but smile as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer.
“liar,” he laughs, a low rumble that sends a thrill through you. “if you didn’t like it, you would have pushed me away, not this.” he gestures to your legs around him, grinning like the cat that got the cream.
you roll your eyes, but you can’t hide the warmth spreading through your cheeks. “okay, fine. maybe i’m a little into it,” you admit, and his grin widens, satisfaction dancing in his eyes.
“a little?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow, his hands tightening around your waist. “you’re a whole lot more than a little, and you know it.”
the cheeky banter flows easily between you, and as you gaze into his eyes, you realize just how much you’ve come to enjoy this — the closeness, the warmth, the undeniable chemistry crackling in the air.
“you know, it’s a bit unfair,” you say, tilting your head back slightly to meet his gaze. “here i’m trying to be responsible and not let you distract me, and yet…” you trail off, your fingers playing with the collar of his shirt.
“and yet,” he finishes, leaning in slightly, his breath warm against your skin. “here i am, being irresistible.”
“definitely not irresistible,” you say, feigning indignation. but the way your heart races gives you away again.
“oh, come on,” he smirks, tilting his head slightly. “who else do you know can kiss you while washing dishes?”
you laugh, shaking your head, and the movement sends a wave of giddiness through both of you. “you might be right about that one,” you concede, biting your lip.
the song transitions into another upbeat section, and toji shifts his weight slightly, nudging your legs apart just enough to step closer, creating a tighter cocoon of warmth between you. 
“so, what now?” he asks, his voice dropping an octave, the playful tone replaced with something more serious, more intimate.
“what now?” you echo, feeling the tension shift slightly, the air thick with possibilities. “we could, um… finish washing dishes?”
“how boring,” he murmurs, and before you can say anything else, he dips his head down, capturing your lips again in a slow, lingering kiss that makes your head spin.
this kiss is different — softer, more explorative, as if he’s savoring the moment, the taste of you lingering on his lips. you respond eagerly, forgetting all about the dishes, the mess, everything else fading away until it’s just the two of you.
when you finally break apart, breathless, he grins down at you, that charming smirk making your heart flutter. “that’s what i’m talking about,” he says, a satisfied gleam in his eyes.
“toji, we really should —”
“don’t say it,” he interrupts, shaking his head with an exaggerated look of horror. 
“don’t ruin the moment with responsibility. just… let’s enjoy this.”
you can’t help but laugh again, the tension between you easing as you lean back against the countertop, your heart racing in a way that feels undeniably good.
“enjoying this, huh?” you murmur, running your fingers through your hair, still feeling the heat of his body against yours.
“yeah,” he replies, that charming smile still plastered on his face. “just two people enjoying a perfectly normal evening — you know, singing abba, eating takeout, and making out in your messy kitchen.”
“the most normal thing ever,” you agree, rolling your eyes, but you can’t suppress the smile that breaks across your face.
“so,” he says, tilting his head, his expression turning slightly more serious. “how about we make this a regular thing? you know, minus the messy kitchen. maybe my place next time?”
your heart skips a beat at the suggestion, and you find yourself nodding before you can think twice. “yeah, i’d like that.”
“great,” he says, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “but for now, let’s get back to the dishes, dancing queen.”
“fine, but only if you promise to keep playing abba,” you reply, giving him a mock-serious look.
“deal,” he chuckles, and as you both start scrubbing the remaining dishes, the music playing softly in the background, you realize you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.
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toji walks into his house, the dopey grin plastered across his face like he just won the lottery. 
his heart feels light, still buzzing from the night with you, and he’s practically floating as he kicks off his shoes and heads to the living room. 
he stops dead in his tracks when he sees gojo sprawled on the couch, a half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand and a look of sheer mischief on his face.
“what the hell are you doing here?” toji asks, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably as he can’t help but grin back.
gojo lifts the bottle in a mock toast. “just your friendly neighborhood babysitter, here to keep an eye on megumi,” he says, glancing over to where megumi is sound asleep, sprawled on the floor with a gaming console still clutched in his tiny hands. “figured i’d check out your bar situation while i was at it.” he gestures to the empty bottles lined up on the table. “you know, for quality control.”
toji rolls his eyes but can’t suppress the chuckle escaping his lips. “you’re a real piece of work, you know that?” he says, moving closer.
gojo leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, a grin spreading across his face as he studies toji’s expression. “but seriously, you look like you just got off cloud nine. spill. what happened?”
toji’s grin widens even more, and he can’t help but let out a little giggle, feeling giddy. “you’re not gonna believe this,” he starts, plopping down on the couch next to gojo, who leans in closer, eager for the details. 
“it was… well, it was amazing.”
“amazing? now you’re really making me curious!” gojo presses, his eyes sparkling with interest. “tell me everything! every little detail!”
toji glances back towards the sleeping megumi, suddenly feeling a bit shy about sharing all the intimate details. “okay, okay. so, we were just supposed to have dinner, but it turned into this whole thing.”
“dinner? boooring. give me the juicy stuff!” gojo teases, waving his hand dramatically. “i want the scandalous details! were there kisses involved?”
toji feels his cheeks flush, and he can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this all feels. “yeah, there were some kisses… and then we ended up washing dishes together, and somehow —”
“washing dishes? how romantic!” gojo interrupts, dramatically placing a hand on his chest as if he’s been mortally wounded. “you’re a true romantic, toji.”
“shut up!” toji retorts, laughing harder now. “but it was nice, okay? we were just… comfortable with each other, you know? and then we ended up kissing while the song was playing.”
“which song? was it a love song? was it dancing queen?” gojo leans in closer, eyes wide with excitement. “tell me you two were blasting abba and getting all lovey-dovey!”
“yeah, actually!” toji can’t help but laugh again, the memory flooding back. “we were. it was so ridiculous, but it felt so right at that moment.”
“ridiculous how?” gojo presses, leaning back with a smirk. “were you two dancing around the kitchen like a couple of high-schoolers?”
“pretty much,” toji admits, a sheepish grin crossing his face. “i mean, it just happened, and i couldn’t help myself. i’ve never felt like this before.”
gojo raises an eyebrow, leaning back with a knowing smirk. “so, what you’re saying is that you’re head over heels for y/n? you’ve gone soft on us, toji.”
“yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” toji says, trying to sound annoyed but failing as he can’t help but feel giddy about it all. “but i think this is different. she makes me feel… i don’t know, like i’m actually living instead of just existing?”
gojo’s expression softens slightly, nodding in understanding. “that’s deep, man. i’m genuinely happy for you. but seriously, how did you go from makeouts to dinner to feelings so fast?”
“honestly? i have no idea,” toji shrugs, still riding that high. “but it just felt natural. like we were meant to do this.”
gojo is quiet for a moment, taking a swig from the bottle. 
“damn, it sounds like you really like her.”
“like? it’s more than that, i think,” toji admits, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “i’ve never let myself feel this way about anyone, and now i can’t stop smiling like an idiot.”
“good. you should let yourself feel,” gojo says, his tone lightening again. 
“just don’t forget you’re still my bro and not some mushy romantic lead in a romcom.”
toji snorts. “right, because i’m so good at playing it cool.”
“exactly,” gojo grins. “now, what’s the next step in this romance novel? are you going to take her out on an official date, or are you just going to keep sneaking kisses in her kitchen?”
toji thinks for a moment, that dopey grin returning. 
“i want to take her out. something special. not just a random dinner but a real date.”
“awww, look at you being all suave!” gojo teases, clapping him on the shoulder. “i’m actually proud of you, man. just don’t screw it up.”
“thanks for the vote of confidence,” toji rolls his eyes but can’t help but feel encouraged.
“now, let’s celebrate your new relationship status! i say we finish off the rest of these bottles and toast to your love life!” gojo suggests, already grabbing for another bottle.
toji chuckles, shaking his head. “you’re going to end up getting us both in trouble, you know that?”
“who cares? tonight’s all about you, my guy! let’s make some bad decisions!” gojo grins, and as toji laughs, the two of them settle in for a night of ridiculous stories and plans for the future — the dopey grin still plastered on toji’s face.
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the day of the audiobook launch dawned bright and buzzing with excitement at gojo-sonic, and the atmosphere was electric. employees and investors milled about the sleek, modern venue, the air filled with chatter and the faint sound of clinking glasses. 
it was a low-key affair, but the anticipation crackled like static electricity in the air. you were among the few chosen to celebrate this moment, standing on the cusp of something big.
you had spent hours getting ready, and with shoko’s help, you looked stunning in your gown. it was a flowing number that hugged your curves just right, accentuating your figure while allowing you to move with grace. your hair was styled in soft waves, framing your face perfectly, and your makeup enhanced your features without overshadowing them. you caught glimpses of yourself in the reflective surfaces, a wave of pride swelling in your chest as you realized just how much effort went into this moment.
toji, on the other hand, was a mix of nervous energy and utter admiration. dressed sharply in a tailored suit, he felt a blend of pride and anxiety as he watched you mingle with the guests. but the moment his eyes landed on you in that gown, his body betrayed him. 
a rush of heat shot through him, and before he could even think, there it was — a very real, very embarrassing hard-on that he scrambled to cover up.
“shit, not now,” he muttered under his breath, cursing himself for being such a damn cliché. he quickly shifted his stance, pretending to adjust his tie as he tried to focus on anything other than the vision of you in front of him. 
like a decent man should, right?
“toji! you okay?” gojo’s voice cut through his thoughts, a smirk creeping across his face. he was leaning against the bar, a glass of something strong in hand, eyeing toji with amusement. “you look like you just saw a ghost.”
“i’m fine,” toji snapped a little too quickly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks. “just… adjusting my suit.” he gestured wildly, trying to deflect the attention away from his embarrassment.
“uh-huh. sure,” gojo replied, barely hiding his laughter. “just keep it together. we wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself in front of everyone, especially her.” he nodded subtly towards you, who were now laughing with suguru, your charm radiating like a warm glow.
toji shot him a glare, a mix of irritation and amusement battling for dominance on his face. “thanks for the reminder, genius.”
the event continued, and you were seamlessly blending into the crowd, engaging in conversations with stakeholders and employees, your confidence shining through. 
when you shared a laugh with suguru, toji couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at how effortlessly charming you were. why the hell can’t i just say something nice instead of standing here like an idiot?
“there she is,” toji mumbled to himself, catching a glimpse of you as you made your way to the makeshift stage for the speeches. he admired how you carried yourself with such poise, the way your eyes sparkled with excitement. and in that moment, he was utterly captivated.
as you stepped up to the microphone, a hush fell over the crowd. 
“thank you all for being here today,” you began, your voice steady and clear, filled with warmth. “this launch means so much to me, and i couldn’t have done it without all the support from my friends and family. especially from those at gojo-sonic, who believed in this project.”
toji watched you intently, his heart swelling with pride. this was your moment, and you were absolutely shining. 
but as you spoke, he felt that familiar urge to approach you, to wrap his arms around you and tell you just how incredible you looked. 
but no, he stood rooted to the spot, reminding himself of the conversation they had before about maintaining a professional facade.
“and of course, a huge thank you to my amazing voice actor, toji fushiguro,” you continued, and the crowd erupted into applause, pulling him back into reality. the sound sent another rush of heat through him, and he felt like he was about to explode — both from embarrassment and pride.
“that’s me,” toji muttered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. gojo was right beside him, clapping exaggeratedly with a teasing grin. “you’re gonna have to give her a proper compliment after this, you know?”
“yeah, yeah,” toji grumbled, still flustered as he tried to focus on your words instead of his growing embarrassment.
when you finished your speech, the crowd cheered, and you stepped down, a satisfied smile on your face. 
you caught toji’s eye, and for a moment, the world faded away. he could see the joy radiating from you, and all his earlier doubts slipped away.
“toji!” you called out, your eyes sparkling. “what did you think?”
“you were amazing,” he said, finally finding the courage to step forward. “really. you owned that stage.”
“thank you,” you replied, your cheeks slightly flushed. “i was nervous, but it felt good to share this moment with everyone.”
as you spoke, toji’s heart raced. he leaned in closer, his voice lowering as he added, “and you looked absolutely stunning, too.”
“oh? just stunning?” you teased, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
“okay, maybe breathtaking,” he admitted, a genuine smile creeping onto his face. 
“and just so you know, i had a minor… situation back there, thanks to how beautiful you looked. so, you know, just keep that in mind.”
your laughter rang out, the sound warm and inviting, making toji forget all about the earlier embarrassment. he realized that whatever the two of you had going on was something he wanted to cherish, something worth pursuing.
and as the night continued, surrounded by the buzz of celebration, toji felt a sense of hope blooming in his chest — this was just the beginning.
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as the excitement of the launch continued to swirl around you, suguru approached, a wide smile lighting up his face. 
“there you are! i was beginning to think i’d have to drag you out from behind that mic,” he teased, wrapping you in a warm hug.
“suguru! thanks for coming!” you beamed, feeling the familiar comfort of his presence. “it means a lot to me.”
“wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said, stepping back to take a look at you. “and wow, you look incredible. seriously, how do you pull off that look?”
gojo chimed in, practically bouncing on his heels. “it’s like she stepped out of a freaking fairytale, right? she’s basically a model now. i’m just a guy over here trying not to ruin the vibe.”
shoko smiled, her eyes soft as she observed the camaraderie. “you all did great tonight. it really was a wonderful launch.”
toji stood slightly apart from the group, hands shoved into his pockets, watching the dynamic unfold. he was proud of you and knew you deserved this moment, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of being on the outside. seeing you laugh and joke with suguru and gojo tugged at something deep inside him, a mix of admiration and protectiveness that made him feel a little more possessive than he expected.
“so, what’s next for you?” suguru asked, leaning in closer, his tone genuine. “another book, or are you taking a break?”
“a bit of both, actually,” you replied, glancing at toji. “i want to explore some new ideas, maybe branch out a little.”
just then, a lecherous-looking man stepped into the conversation, an air of arrogance radiating off him. 
“well, if it isn’t the famed author herself,” he sneered, a condescending smirk plastered on his face. “i have to say, it’s impressive how you’ve managed to carve out such a niche for yourself.” “free-use woman, is that what they call it? quite the career choice, huh?”
the moment the words left his mouth, the atmosphere shifted. toji's heart raced, a cold wave of irritation washing over him. he could feel his jaw clenching as he shifted his weight, bracing himself for whatever would come next. 
the man had no idea what he was stepping into.
gojo’s expression darkened, his casual demeanor evaporating. “who the hell do you think you are, talking to her like that?” he snapped, stepping in front of you protectively. “you’re clearly out of your depth.”
shoko frowned, her eyes narrowing at the man. “that’s incredibly disrespectful. you should apologize right now.”
suguru, leaning closer to you, was already assessing the situation, his gaze piercing. “it’s brave of you to come here and talk to her, but if you think you can just waltz in and make those kinds of comments, you’re sorely mistaken.”
toji felt a surge of possessiveness overtake him, and he stepped forward, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “listen, buddy, you don’t get to come here and treat her like she’s some sort of object. she’s worked hard for everything she has, and you’re just jealous that you’ll never get anywhere close to her level.”
the man scoffed, clearly unfazed, but the looks on the faces of gojo, shoko, and suguru sent a wave of intimidation over him. “oh, what? you’re one of her little fanboys now?” he mocked, trying to play off the tension.
“she’s not just some girl for your amusement,” toji replied, his voice low but full of intensity. “if you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve to be in the same room as her.”
you were taken aback, a mix of shock and warmth flooding your chest at toji’s fierce defense. it was a side of him you hadn’t seen in this context, and it made your heart race. you quickly interjected, trying to defuse the situation. 
“it’s okay, really. i don’t mind —”
“no,” suguru cut you off gently but firmly, glancing back at you with concern. “you shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of trash talk. you’re better than that, and we’re here for you.”
“yeah,” gojo added, his expression serious. “this guy doesn’t know who he’s messing with. just because you think you can get away with it doesn’t mean you should.” he turned to the man, a fire burning in his blue eyes. 
“i’d suggest you leave before things get ugly.”
the man’s bravado faltered, and he hesitated, clearly weighing his options. 
“whatever, man,” he spat, finally backing away, a look of disdain on his face. “i didn’t want to talk to you losers anyway.”
as he walked off, toji felt a wave of relief wash over him, but it was mingled with something else — something like pride for you and his friends, who had stood up for what was right. 
he turned to you, catching your eye. “you alright?”
you nodded, still processing what just happened. “yeah, thanks. i didn’t think he’d go that far.”
“he’s a fucking idiot,” toji replied, shaking his head. “you deserve better than that.”
“you all really stood up for me,” you said softly, feeling gratitude swell in your chest.
“of course we did,” shoko replied, her expression warm. “we’re your friends, and we’ll always have your back.”
toji stepped a bit closer, and for a moment, the noise of the event faded into the background. “just remember that,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “you’re not alone in this.”
and as the night continued, surrounded by friends who cared deeply for you, toji felt a sense of belonging that he hadn’t anticipated, realizing just how much he wanted to protect that warmth — protect you.
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the event wrapped up smoothly, but leave it to gojo to suggest a “girls day out” to celebrate – the “girls” in question, of course, were all of you.
“come on!” gojo insisted, practically bouncing as you all filed out of the venue. “a little lunch at this fancy new place! i already reserved us a table. trust me, you’ll love it.” he flashed that signature grin, one that sparkled with both charm and mischief.
“i thought you called this a girl’s day out?” toji raised an eyebrow, looking mildly exasperated. “you’re delusional if you think i’m your girl, gojo.”
gojo only smirked, looping his arm through toji’s despite his attempts to shake him off. 
“toji, honey, everyone’s my girl,” he teased. “besides, i knew you’d say yes deep down.”
“keep telling yourself that,” toji muttered, though a small smirk betrayed his amusement.
suguru shook his head, amused, as he watched their dynamic. “sometimes i think we enable him too much.”
“you definitely do,” shoko chimed in, already lighting a cigarette as you walked along. “but at least lunch on gojo’s tab makes it worth it.”
soon enough, the five of you strolled into the swanky restaurant, where the hostess greeted gojo with a wide smile. “right this way, mr. gojo,” she said, leading you all to a secluded table with an impressive view.
gojo waited until you all took your seats before he threw himself down, stretching out like he owned the place. “order whatever you want, my treat!” he announced, flashing a grin at the menu. “the foie gras here is to die for.”
“you’re ordering foie gras?” you raised an eyebrow, half-amused and half-horrified.
gojo shrugged, feigning innocence. “what? it’s delicious.” he turned to toji. “you’re in, right?”
toji gave him a dry look. “i don’t even know what that is, gojo.”
suguru snorted into his drink. “you’re so cultured, toji.”
toji rolled his eyes, shoving a breadstick into his mouth with exaggerated indifference. “as long as it’s not something gojo personally cooked, i’ll eat it.”
gojo gasped dramatically, clutching his heart. “you wound me! i make a mean ramen!”
shoko raised an eyebrow at him. “instant ramen doesn’t count, gojo.”
as you skimmed the menu, suguru leaned over to point out some of the more “normal” dishes. 
“i’d stick to these if i were you,” he chuckled. “unless you’re ready for gojo’s idea of exotic.”
“good call,” you replied, grinning. “i’m not trying to eat anything that still has a face.”
just then, gojo noticed a seafood platter being served at a nearby table, and his eyes lit up. “oh, look at that! who’s in for oysters? fresh from the coast, or so they say.”
toji grimaced, pushing the menu away. “you’re kidding, right? i don’t eat anything slimy.”
gojo wagged his finger at him, smirking. “toji, you’ll never know the finer things in life with an attitude like that.”
“if the finer things in life involve slimy food, count me out,” toji retorted, crossing his arms.
you couldn’t help but laugh, catching suguru’s eye. he shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. 
“some things never change, huh?”
“yeah, especially gojo’s tastes,” shoko muttered, taking a sip of her drink.
as the food finally arrived, the table was soon filled with laughter and stories, everyone swapping tales about work, life, and everything in between. gojo, unsurprisingly, dominated the conversation, though he was more than happy to playfully drag each of you into his stories.
“and then, get this,” gojo laughed, his shoulders shaking. “i convinced the poor guy i was a psychic! he walked around with a ‘cursed’ amulet for a week before he realized i was just messing with him.”
“i don’t understand how anyone falls for your crap,” toji said, shaking his head, though even he was hiding a smile.
“it’s a gift,” gojo replied smugly, before winking at you. “isn’t that right?”
“oh, definitely,” you replied dryly. “a gift and a curse.”
“mostly a curse,” shoko agreed, patting gojo’s shoulder.
after a few rounds of drinks, everyone had relaxed into the easy camaraderie, passing dishes and laughing as gojo continued his dramatic retellings, complete with hand gestures and questionable impressions.
“so, toji,” gojo leaned over with a sly grin, “how’s… life?”
toji eyed him, wary. “life’s fine, gojo. what are you getting at?”
“nothing!” gojo held up his hands innocently. “just curious about your… extracurriculars.”
toji rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath as shoko smirked, clearly entertained by toji’s suffering.
suguru leaned in, murmuring to you, “you think he’ll make it through the whole lunch without snapping?”
you laughed softly. “he’s holding up pretty well, all things considered.”
as dessert rolled around, gojo ordered a massive platter of sweets “for the table,” though everyone knew he’d end up eating half of it himself.
“i swear, if you finish all those eclairs before i even get one…” toji warned, eyeing gojo.
gojo winked, already reaching for a plate. “too slow, toji! if you want something, you’ve got to seize it.”
“yeah? you wanna see me seize it?” toji reached over, snatching an éclair from gojo’s hand in one swift move.
the entire table burst out laughing, gojo’s indignant look only adding to the humor. it was one of those rare moments where everything felt right, like you were all in sync, just enjoying each other’s company.
as you leaned back in your chair, watching everyone banter, you felt a warmth settle in your chest. these were the kinds of moments you’d remember – the laughter, the shared jokes, the way each person’s personality filled the room in a way only they could.
it was a good day. 
and somehow, you had gojo’s “girls day out” to thank for it.
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“suguru! where are you going?” gojo called, laughing.
suguru gave a halfhearted smile. “just… need to take this.”
you watched him go, a flicker of concern starting to build when minutes passed with no sign of his return. eventually, you excused yourself, hoping everything was alright.
turning the corner, you found him leaning against the wall, head down, shoulders tense and shaking slightly. the quiet sound of his breath catching, his barely-contained sobs – it was like a punch to the chest. 
suguru geto never cried.
“suguru?” you whispered, not wanting to startle him.
he looked up, his face streaked with tears, a raw, vulnerable expression you’d never seen. he quickly tried to brush it off, rubbing his eyes. “you shouldn’t… see me like this,” he muttered.
your heart clenched as you stepped closer. “hey, i’m your friend. you don’t have to hide from me.”
he looked away, swallowing hard, his voice strained. “it’s… her. she made her choice.” he took a ragged breath. “she doesn’t love me. she’s with someone else now.”
you felt your stomach twist at the pain in his voice, at the way his composure was unraveling before you. you reached out instinctively, placing a hand on his shoulder. “suguru, i’m so sorry. i know how much she meant to you.”
he let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. 
“i thought we had something real, you know? i thought… i thought she’d see me the same way.”
“you loved her,” you murmured, feeling his anguish like a weight pressing on your chest. “you gave her everything. sometimes people… they just don’t see what’s right in front of them.”
“maybe it’s me,” he choked, clenching his fists. “maybe i just wasn’t enough.”
you took his hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “don’t say that. you’re more than enough. she just… didn’t see it. it doesn’t mean you aren’t worth it.”
his face crumpled, and for a moment, he was silent, holding onto you like you were an anchor keeping him from sinking. 
“i feel so… empty,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper.
“let it out, suguru,” you said gently, wrapping your arms around him. “you don’t have to carry this alone.”
he leaned into your embrace, taking deep, shuddering breaths as he tried to regain control. you rubbed soothing circles on his back, feeling each tremble, each heartbeat, sharing in the quiet vulnerability of the moment.
“i don’t know what i’d do without you right now,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“you don’t have to,” you replied softly. “i’m here. you’ll be okay, suguru. even if it takes time.”
as you comforted him, you didn’t notice that toji had also come looking for you. he’d been watching the hallway, glancing at his watch, wondering what was taking you so long. 
a knot of worry twisted in his stomach, his mind flashing back to the earlier incident – that sleazy man at the event who had tried to approach you.
what if something happened again?
when he turned the corner, the sight he found stopped him cold. 
you, hugging suguru, holding him so tightly, your hand stroking his hair as he buried his face into your shoulder.
a strange, hot flare of jealousy surged up in his chest. 
his jaw clenched as he stared at you, his fingers twitching with the urge to do… something. here was suguru, wrapped up in your arms, his pain visible and raw – but still.
 toji couldn’t help the spike of resentment. why did it have to be suguru you were comforting?
why couldn’t you hold onto him like that?
his fingers tightened around the edge of his jacket, his thoughts spiraling. he knew he had no right to feel this way, knew suguru was hurting – but the sight of you so intimately close, your gentle words he couldn’t quite hear, only made his jealousy deepen.
his eyes narrowed as he kept watching, trying to ignore the twinge of vulnerability he hadn’t expected. why did he care so much? he gritted his teeth. 
but when you finally looked up, catching sight of him, his expression was unreadable, masked beneath a carefully controlled look. there was a subtle stiffness to the way he held himself, and his gaze flickered briefly to suguru before settling back on you.
“toji…” you said softly, surprised to see him there.
he crossed his arms, giving a slight nod in suguru’s direction. “everything alright?”
“yeah,” you replied, glancing at suguru, who gave a faint nod, still wiping at his eyes. “just… a hard day.”
toji’s eyes softened slightly as he looked at you, though his expression remained guarded. “you’re a good friend,” he murmured, barely audible, though there was a hint of something deeper behind his words.
you offered him a small smile, sensing the underlying tension. “just doing what anyone would.”
toji’s gaze lingered on you a little longer, his jealousy ebbing slightly, though a part of him still ached to be the one you held so tightly, the one you’d stayed for so long just to comfort. 
but he pushed the feeling down, knowing that tonight, suguru needed you more.
suguru excused himself to rejoin the table, likely gravitating toward satoru, who knew more about his heartbreak than anyone else there. that left just you and toji standing in your little corner, tucked away from the bustling restaurant.
he was looking at you with that smirk of his, the kind that had you already feeling flustered, but determined not to give him the satisfaction. he took a casual step forward, slipping his hands into his pockets, and leaned in close, voice low and almost playful.
“so… what’re you doing over here, all alone with me?” he drawled, eyes trailing slowly from your eyes down to your lips.
before he could say anything else, you raised an eyebrow, folding your arms. 
“you mean, other than watching you try to pretend you weren’t sporting a hard-on for half the event?”
the teasing grin on your lips was unmistakable, and his reaction was instant. toji’s expression flickered, a hint of surprise in his eyes, followed by an intense gleam as he chuckled under his breath. “oh, so you noticed that, huh?”
“noticed? please,” you scoffed, keeping up your confident front even as he closed the space between you with slow, measured steps. “how could i not? it was right there.”
“guess you were too busy looking at me to focus on anything else,” he replied smoothly, his voice dropping a little lower. he leaned in, his lips hovering dangerously close to yours, breath warm against your skin. “maybe i should’ve been paying more attention to you instead.”
your heart skipped a beat, but you didn’t let it show. 
“well, now you know better,” you murmured back, voice challenging. “maybe you should’ve acted on it then, instead of waiting until now.”
he raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips. “oh, is that a challenge?”
“only if you can handle it,” you shot back, the thrill of the back-and-forth sparking something between you two.
his eyes darkened, and before you knew it, he had one hand on your waist, pulling you flush against him, his other hand braced against the wall by your head. 
“you think i can’t handle a little challenge from you?” he murmured, his lips so close they nearly brushed yours.
you swallowed, but kept your cool. “if you could, you wouldn’t be hesitating.”
“trust me, sweetheart,” he murmured, voice low and dangerously smooth, “when i’m done with you, you won’t be the one running your mouth.”
before you could come up with a retort, his lips were on yours, firm and demanding, as if he’d been waiting all night to finally do this. you couldn’t hold back a soft gasp as he kissed you deeper, his hand sliding up to cradle your face while his other gripped your waist tightly, pressing you up against the wall.
your hands instinctively found their way to his shoulders, clutching him as he took full control of the kiss, his tongue brushing against yours with a fierceness that left your head spinning. he groaned softly as he pressed his body closer, one hand sliding up the side of your thigh, fingers grazing over the soft fabric of your dress.
“you like getting me all worked up, don’t you?” he murmured against your lips, his voice laced with that smug edge that made you shiver. “can’t get enough of teasing me, huh?”
“maybe i do,” you shot back, though your voice wavered slightly as he bit down on your lower lip, sending a spark through you. “but it’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
he chuckled darkly, his hands sliding up your sides, thumbs brushing just beneath your ribs as he pressed his hips against yours. 
“yeah? what’re you gonna do about it?” he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips over the sensitive skin of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.
“you really think you’re in control here?” you asked, voice challenging even as he continued to press you into the wall. “because from where i’m standing, it looks like you’re the one who can’t resist me.”
“careful what you say,” he warned, his tone thick with restrained desire. “i’m this close to dragging you out of here and making you eat those words.”
your heart raced, and even though you were half-tempted to keep pushing him, you couldn’t deny the thrill of having him this close, his hands roaming over you, his lips brushing down your neck. you let out a breathless laugh, threading your fingers through his hair as you tugged him closer. 
“then maybe you should quit talking and show me what you’ve got.”
he didn’t need any further invitation. his grip tightened on you, his mouth covering yours in a heated, almost punishing kiss that left you breathless. his hands roamed over your body with a hunger that was practically palpable, every touch igniting a new spark. 
he was practically devouring you, his breath coming faster as he pressed you harder against the wall, his fingers digging into your waist as he kissed you deeply, thoroughly, like he wanted to leave his mark.
“god,” he murmured, voice husky, “you’re driving me insane.” he leaned back just enough to look into your eyes, his gaze intense. “you really wanna keep pushing me, huh?”
you smirked, your own voice barely above a whisper. “maybe i just like seeing what you’ll do about it.”
on the outside, you were holding your ground. confident smirks, playful retorts, the whole act. but on the inside? 
you were freaking the fuck out. 
here you were, basically mimicking every female lead you’d ever written, pulling from their limitless reserve of sass and self-assuredness to somehow keep pace with toji's relentless flirting. each comeback, each smirk — it was like a mental pep talk to channel all those characters who’d never break a sweat in this situation.
but… oh god. what if things actually got hot and heavy? 
you were standing there, going toe-to-toe with toji of all people, and it hit you — you were completely out of your depth here. this was not your usual flirting, the teasing banter you’d half-heartedly perfected through fictional dialogue. 
this was real.
and suddenly the thought crept in like an alarm bell: you might actually have to… gn?
your eyes widened a fraction as you tried to keep your cool. 
gn. 
get naked, not even good night — although, maybe a good night after the get naked part, if you even made it that far without spontaneously combusting. 
your mind raced, frantically scrolling through every bedroom scene you’d ever written, but realizing none of them really prepared you for this. 
oh my god, you panicked inwardly, just because i write smut doesn’t mean i know what to do when i’m the one gripping the sheets!
“what, cat got your tongue?” toji’s voice interrupted your internal spiral, his smirk widening as he traced a thumb across your cheek, dipping dangerously close to your lips. “not so confident now, are ya?”
you forced a grin, cursing the tremble in your fingers as they clutched at his shirt. 
“oh, please, like i’m nervous,” you shot back, mentally crossing every finger and toe that your voice didn’t waver. 
inside, though, you were a swirling mess, praying he didn’t catch the slightest tremor. 
fake it till you make it, right? 
only problem was, the longer he looked at you, the more he seemed to see right through you.
his eyes narrowed just a little, his smirk shifting into something… softer, a touch more considerate. you wanted to think he’d be gracious, that he’d at least slow down, but no, there was something else in his gaze. maybe a flicker of understanding? 
no, that was too generous.
he was toji.
and as if he could sense your hesitation, he leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear. 
“relax, princess,” he whispered, his tone softer, maybe even gentle. “we can go as slow as you want. besides…” his lips quirked up into a teasing grin. 
“don’t think you’re getting out of this without admitting how much you’re enjoying it.”
relax? yeah, right. 
your heart was doing backflips, your mind racing through every possible move you’d probably never have the courage to pull off. he had you right where he wanted you, and you couldn’t stop the blush rising to your cheeks. 
oh god, you thought desperately, please don’t ask me to make the next move.
just as you were bracing yourself to somehow manage to keep up this charade of confidence, toji’s phone vibrated between you, cutting the tension with a blaring ringtone. and of all people, it had to be gojo. you glimpsed his name flashing on the screen right as toji picked up, rolling his eyes before pressing the phone to his ear.
“what, satoru?” toji sighed, clearly irritated at the interruption.
“toji! man, hurry up and get back here!” gojo’s voice screeched through the phone, loud enough for you to hear the dramatic urgency. “we’ve got a very, very depressed mr. geto here who’s having the existential crisis of the century. we need all hands on deck, and yes, that means you too. and preferably sober, mind you. no drinks this time! none.” 
gojo's voice dropped, muttering something about “banging y/n later if you have to,” but you both caught it.
toji gave you a side-eye smirk, shaking his head at gojo’s predictability, before letting out a sigh. 
“fine. but you owe me one, big time.” and with that, he ended the call, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
before you could even tease him about the abrupt change of plans, he leaned in and gave you a sharp smack! on the ass, grinning at the way you jumped. 
“guess we’ll have to put this on hold, princess. duty calls.” with a wink, he took your hand, leading you back toward the table.
it was gonna be a long night.
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back at the table, the scene was…well, not what you’d expected. 
suguru looked rough. 
he sat slumped in his chair, swirling a glass of water (gojo had made sure of it) with a far-off stare that looked like he was seeing into another dimension. gojo and shoko were positioned on either side of him, each with their own ineffective tactics.
“c’mon, sugu, it’s not the end of the world,” gojo said, nudging him with a grin that looked a bit too forced. “i mean, i never liked her anyway. you deserve way better than —”
“she was amazing,” suguru cut him off, his voice flat but tinged with emotion. “you wouldn’t understand, satoru.”
shoko sighed, patting his shoulder. “she wasn’t that amazing. she had weird fashion taste.”
“and didn’t she correct you on every little thing? constantly?” gojo added, crossing his arms with a small smirk.
suguru gave them both a look, unamused. “i liked her fashion sense. and i didn’t mind the corrections.”
toji leaned back in his seat, giving you a subtle eye roll. 
this was what you’d come back for. 
he sighed, then leaned forward, slapping a hand on suguru’s shoulder. “you know, sulking isn’t gonna help anything. maybe it’s time to get back out there, stop dwelling on someone who clearly didn’t value you.”
suguru let out a tired sigh, and gojo jumped in, eyes lighting up. “exactly! there are plenty of people who’d be thrilled to date the great suguru geto!” he gestured around the room as if a fan club might spontaneously form right then and there. 
“you’re smart, you’re talented —”
“and single,” shoko added dryly, sipping her drink with a shrug.
suguru slumped lower, clearly unconvinced. “i don’t want to be single,” he muttered. “i wanted her.”
you winced at the defeated tone in his voice, exchanging a helpless look with toji, who looked equally unsure what else they could say to help. 
gojo, though, was not one to give up. he clapped his hands, as if a brilliant idea had just struck him.
“okay! new plan,” he declared, leaning in with an almost manic enthusiasm. “you’re going to go out with us this weekend. all of us. no work, no responsibilities — just a wild time. we’ll find you a nice rebound —”
suguru glared. “no, thanks.”
shoko groaned, propping her chin on her hand. “well, i’m out of ideas. anyone else?”
you took a deep breath, deciding to give it one last shot. 
“maybe…you don’t have to forget her completely, but maybe you can focus on what made you happy outside of her. like, remember what you love doing?”
suguru looked at you, as if considering the thought, but then slumped back. “it’s not the same,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “it’s just…not the same.”
gojo groaned dramatically, throwing his head back. “i swear, you’re worse than me on my worst breakup day. someone call for reinforcements because i think we’re gonna need a miracle worker for this one.”
the table fell quiet, everyone glancing at suguru, who looked as defeated as ever, and it hit you that maybe tonight, there really wasn’t a solution.
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one month later, the dreaded wedding invitation arrived, dropped unceremoniously on suguru’s desk. it was embossed in gold, the bride and groom’s names announced in elegant script, and just looking at it made his chest tighten. this was her wedding — the woman he’d once thought he’d spend his life with, now celebrating a future with someone else.
gojo’s reaction was immediate, bursting out in an exaggerated laugh when he saw the invite on suguru’s desk. 
“are you kidding me? she’s really inviting you? that’s low, even for her. come on, suguru, you’re not actually thinking about going, are you?”
suguru just gave a small smile, almost serene in the face of it all. “actually, i think i might.”
gojo gaped. “what?! dude, they’re practically rubbing it in your face! it’s like sending a ‘ha-ha, we’re in love, and you’re not’ postcard.” 
he crossed his arms, scowling at the offending piece of cardstock. “this is the most tasteless thing i’ve ever seen.”
shoko, who was nearby, raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-curious. “maybe she didn’t mean it that way, satoru. maybe it’s her way of being considerate, keeping suguru involved as a friend.”
gojo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “oh please, you don’t invite your ex to your wedding, especially if you broke his heart. she should be thrilled he’s not cursing her name in three different languages.”
but suguru only shook his head, calm as ever. “it’s not like that, satoru. we’ve both moved on, in our own ways. i don’t hold it against her. she chose what makes her happy, and if that’s someone else…well, then i wish her the best.” he shrugged lightly. “i don’t see any point in being bitter about it.”
gojo stared at him, as if seeing an entirely different person. “you’re joking, right? this is not you. the real suguru would’ve burned that thing or at least made a snarky comment about her dress being too ‘last season.’”
suguru laughed, an easy, relaxed sound that caught them all by surprise. “that’s exactly it, satoru. i don’t want to be that guy anymore. i’ve spent enough time with those feelings. they’re…exhausting. if going to this wedding gives me closure, then why not?”
gojo looked like he was about to combust. “closure? closure is just a fancy word for ‘let me put myself through hell for no reason.’ honestly, suguru, you’re giving her too much credit. she’s the one who ditched you, remember?”
suguru tilted his head, offering gojo a gentle but pointed look. “maybe it’s not about her anymore. maybe this is just about me.” his voice was calm, but there was a certain finality in it, as if he’d already come to terms with everything.
gojo, meanwhile, huffed and crossed his arms, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “well, i think it’s ridiculous. she doesn’t deserve any more of your attention.”
suguru sighed, but there was a faint smile on his lips, as if gojo’s dramatics were somehow endearing. 
“satoru, not everything is a personal insult. people make choices. sometimes they’re not the ones we wanted, but that doesn’t make them wrong.”
gojo let out a long, exaggerated groan. “you’re way too good for this world, suguru. like, way too mature. no one deserves you. i’d be sending her a glitter bomb or something, just for the hell of it.”
shoko chuckled, patting gojo on the back. “maybe you should take a lesson from suguru. not everyone has to nurse their ego through every breakup.”
gojo snorted, still glaring at the invitation like it had personally offended him. “fine, go ahead and be the bigger person, suguru. but if you even think about bringing me as your plus-one, i’m causing a scene.” 
he folded his arms defiantly. “i’m talking upstaging the bride type of scene.”
suguru’s smile widened, genuine and peaceful. “noted, satoru. but i think i’ll be alright.”
and in that moment, watching suguru handle what should have been a painful reminder with quiet dignity, even gojo’s bluster faded just a bit. sure, he might think suguru was handling it all wrong, but deep down, he couldn’t help but admire his friend’s strength.
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panther-os · 10 months ago
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beating my head against the walls in Latine
here's eight things that atp will have me immediately closing out of any fic, AleRudy edition:
1.
❌ "the los vaqueros"
ah yes the famed and feared las almas battalion of Mexican special forces. the the cowboys
✅ "los vaqueros"
✅ "the vaqueros"
2.
❌ "the los vaqueros base"
✅ "los vaqueros' base"
✅ "the vaqueros' base"
3.
❌ "corporal alejandro vargas and sergeant rodolfo parra/major rodolfo parra"
look, fuck the military as an institution and also fuck the devs for using American rank structure for members of the Mexican army but
it takes roughly 2 years in the army to advance to Corporal. the equivalent in the Mexican army is Cabo, and Google will not give me the requirements for it no matter how I ask
it takes 3-6 years to advance to Sergeant. From what I can tell, the Mexican equivalent is also Cabo (where Sargento Segundo is closer to Staff Sergeant)
it takes 10-12 years to advance to Major, the equivalent is Mayor (not the English word mayor like of a city, don't be like those white people)
it takes 22-24 years, a bachelor's degree, and officer school to become a Colonel and it takes 18-20 years and a whole mess of leadership courses nearly equivalent to a degree to become a Sergeant Major
put some goddamn respect on their names
✅ Colonel Alejandro Vargas and Sergeant Major Rodolfo Parra
✅ Coronel Alejandro Vargas and Sargento Primero Rodolfo Parra
4.
❌ Fuerza Especiales
❌ Fuerzas Especiale
this is just not understanding Spanish grammar
✅ Fuerzas Especiales ("Special Forces")
❎ Fuerza Especial ("special force")
5.
❌ Sin Nombre ("without name")
Alejandro literally corrects Soap on this one in the game
✅ El Sin Nombre ("The Nameless")
6.
❌ "Alejandro Vargas, leader of Mexican Special Forces"
the leader of Mexican Special Forces is the Secretaría de la Defensa Nacional - the Secretary of Defense - and Fuerzas Especiales is composed of three brigades, 74 independent battalions (like Los Vaqueros), 36 amphibious special operations groups. Colonels command single brigades at most.
Alejandro is capable of leading Mexican Special Forces, but it would require him to retire from the field and get more of a desk job, with far more politics than I think he'd have patience for
✅ "Alejandro Vargas, leader of Los Vaqueros - a battalion of Fuerzas Especiales stationed in Las Almas"
7.
❎ "our ancestors, the Aztecs"
look, indigenous identity is weird sometimes and I don't know enough specifics about the culture around it in Mexico to have a solid opinion, but I'm also very fucking tired of people thinking the only indigenous groups in Mexico are the Nahua (Aztecs) and Maya. if they're on the Texas border and their families have always lived there, their heritage is most likely seven different Apache nations/language groups in a trench coat with some Spanish conquistador on the side. they're most likely not related to any famous indigenous chiefs or other figures, but it's very possible they can trace their Spanish ancestry back directly to nobility
for example, I am related to absolutely none well-known Tsalagi or Kwikipa people as far as I'm aware, but I am a direct descendant of the brother of King Ferdinand the Catholic, which also means I'm a direct descendant of the guy who started the Inquisition (and now I'm Jewish (and pro-Palestine for those who want to know) so take that, colonizer)
also while Bayardo is Mexicano, Alain is Cubano, please be respectful when talking about the actors or when in their instagram lives and just. don't make assumptions y'all
8.
❎ "Los Vaqueros" is a nickname from the people of Las Almas, the battalion's actual name that is on all the paperwork and dog tags is more likely numerical or describing their role/location - like "11th Battalion" or "The Borderline Battalion" or something like that. maybe even both, like "The 11th Border Battalion"
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kiwriteswords · 3 months ago
Note
Hi can you write about reader is Derek sister and her and Hotch are dating and one day reader comes to visit Derek at work not realizing that Derek and Hotch knows each other or even work together and it comes out the her and Hotch is dating and Derek gives Hotch the big brother talk and Hotch propose to reader
A/N: Sure thing! Hope you enjoy it!
Birthday Revelations
Tags: Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader (Who happens to be Derek's Sister!)
Word Count: 1.1k
Tags: Fluff, Birthdays, Big Brother!Derek, Non-BAU!Reader, Fem!Reader
The day started like any other at the BAU. Aaron Hotchner was buried in paperwork, managing the endless stream of cases and reports that came with the job. His relationship with you had been a welcome reprieve from the darkness of his work, a source of light that he had long been without. It was still new, but it felt natural.
He had gotten used to seeing you after hours or on weekends, sharing quiet moments over dinner or a glass of wine. You weren’t part of his world in law enforcement, and that was something he appreciated about you. It made the time he spent with you feel like an escape. Things were still new, but he felt something growing within him that he had not felt in a very long time. 
The bullpen was bustling as usual, with agents moving in and out, working on cases, and trying to catch a breather in between. Hotch didn’t pay much attention until he heard the sound of laughter—Derek Morgan’s laughter. 
That wasn’t unusual, but it was louder than normal today. Hotch knew it was Derek’s birthday today and assumed the rest of the crew was celebrating him, he figured he would join.
Walking out of his office, Hotch noticed Derek standing by his desk, grinning ear to ear, but soon realized the rest of the team was absent. Then, he saw you.
You were holding a small cake and smiling up at Derek, laughing as you exchanged a few words. For a moment, Hotch’s brain tried to make sense of it. He blinked, trying to piece together what was happening. What were you doing here?
Morgan turned and clapped a hand on your shoulder. "You didn’t have to do this, Y/N. I know you're busy, but I appreciate it," he said, still beaming.
You shrugged, a playful smile on your face. "Oh, please. Like I’d miss my big brother’s birthday."
Hotch froze, feeling the pieces click into place in his head. Big brother? His stomach did a slow roll, and he blinked again, trying to process the information. Derek Morgan was your brother. How did I not know this?
It suddenly all made sense—the way you carried yourself, that spark of protectiveness you had when you talked about your family, and even how familiar Derek’s mannerisms were when you were laughing together. Hotch’s world tilted slightly as the realization sank in.
You, his Y/N, were Derek Morgan’s sister.
Derek must have sensed something because, as if on cue, his eyes flickered over to Hotch, and for the first time, he seemed to notice the look of stunned realization on his boss’s face.
The grin on Derek’s face slowly faded, his eyes narrowing in curiosity, then widening in disbelief as he glanced between you and Hotch. It only took him a second to connect the dots.
"You’ve got to be kidding me," Derek muttered under his breath, just loud enough for Hotch to catch. Then he gave you a sideways glance, eyebrows raised. "Wait...Hotch is the guy you’ve been seeing?” 
You blinked, oblivious to the gravity of the situation. "What? Me and—oh, God." You turned, noticing Hotch’s stunned expression for the first time. Your mouth dropped open as you realized what was happening. "Oh my God. You didn’t know?" 
"No," Derek interjected before Hotch could respond, shaking his head. "Clearly not." He exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before looking back up at Hotch. "Hotch, you’re dating my sister?" 
You put down the cake and glanced between the two men, eyes wide. "You didn’t know we were related?"
Hotch cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure. "You have different last names. I had no idea," he admitted, his usual calm demeanor cracking just a bit under the sudden weight of the situation. He had faced down killers and hostage situations without flinching, but this—this was something else entirely.
Derek just stared at him for a moment longer before letting out a short, incredulous laugh. "Well, happy birthday to me," he muttered, shaking his head. "You’ve got some explaining to do, Hotch."
You bit your lip, clearly caught between amusement and embarrassment. "Derek, come on, it’s not that big of a deal."
"Not that big of a deal?" Derek’s eyes widened, but there was a playful glint in them. "Y/N, you’re dating my boss. That’s a pretty big deal."
Hotch, finally regaining some of his composure, stepped forward. "Derek, I didn’t know. I would’ve told you if I had realized—"
Derek held up a hand, cutting him off. "Hold up. You really didn’t know?"
Hotch shook his head. "No, I didn’t. Not until just now."
Derek let out a low whistle, shaking his head in disbelief. "Man, you’ve got guts. But I’ll tell you right now, Hotch—you hurt her,” Derek raises his finger to Hotch, pointing,  “and boss or not, you’re gonna have to answer to me."
You groaned, rolling your eyes. "Derek, come on. This isn’t necessary."
But Hotch, in his usual calm and measured way, simply nodded. "I understand. And I don’t intend to hurt her. I’m serious about Y/N. She means a lot to me."
Derek’s expression softened a bit, dropping his hand that was pointed at Hotch, though he was still sizing him up. "Yeah, well, you better be. She’s my little sister, and she’s been through enough. I’m just saying—if you mess this up, you’re not gonna like what happens."
"I won’t," Hotch said firmly, meeting Derek’s eyes. There was no hesitation in his voice. He knew what he felt for you, and now that he understood the full weight of it, he was even more certain. "I’m not going anywhere."
You glanced up at Hotch, a soft smile tugging at your lips as you heard the conviction in his voice. You slipped your hand into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and Hotch squeezed back, the two of you sharing a silent understanding.
Derek watched the exchange, his eyes narrowing slightly before he let out another exasperated sigh. "Alright, alright. I guess I’ll have to get used to this."
You grinned, stepping up to your brother and hugging him with one arm, "You know you love me, big brother."
Derek huffed, but he hugged you back. "Yeah, yeah. Just remember, Hotch, I’m watching you."
Hotch chuckled softly, nodding in acknowledgment. "Understood."
As the tension in the room slowly faded, there was laughter, a few surprised looks as the BAU team piled into the room, and a lot of teasing as Derek finally cut into the cake, all while keeping a wary eye on Hotch.
But amidst the joking and laughter, Hotch caught your eye again, and in that brief moment, he knew—no matter what, he was ready to stand by you. Even with your brother watching his every move.
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vamph00n · 4 months ago
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⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆mdni!!⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆
tags: celebhoon!!xmakeupartistreader!! fem reader, morally grey hoon, sunoo cameo. nsfw
wc: 6k
⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆ synopsis: in which page one of the terms and conditions of your contract explicitly states that having physical relations with anyone in the workplace will result in an immediate suspension. that being said, you wonder how long it’ll be till you're fired. well maybe you’ll be exempted from that fate. considering it takes two to tango, and the other person in question is sunghoon. by technicality, you two didn’t exactly break the rules…yet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖₊˚⊹⋆ taglist: @deobitifull @jakeswifez @d-dilemma
smut tags under the cut!!!
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smut tags: dubcon, thigh riding, voyeurism, oral (m receiving), cum, spit, etc lmk if i missed anything.
nothing of what i wrote is meant to represent the real world, please consume what you can handle.
enjoy!
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you've heard the woes of people who’ve worked at this specific entertainment agency. as to the reason why, you’ve been met with one hell of a contract for starters. in which the first rule of the terms and conditions explicitly states:
there will absolutely be no physical relations between anyone in the company.
you kind of figured it was a no brainer. working in this industry for a while it was an unspoken rule, but at this company? it was serious. anyone who fucked around didn’t stay long enough to truely understand the social repercussions and the forever stain it left on your reputation.
[redacted] entertainment made sure your future employers had the full rundown on your work behavior.
to you? it was doable. the amount of people you’ve seen come and go from this company was astounding. honestly that rule was the only one that got people fired in the first place, but nonetheless you were dead set on keeping this job.
one, because it paid well, and two; sunghoon.
“if you really consider it, they didn’t exactly break rule one,” your coworker conversed.
“yeah, they did,” you emphasized. “giving head is physical relations.”
both of you snickered at yourselves.
eating the food you packed for lunch, you play with that idea. so big deal, you can’t fuck said other employee; there are many ways you can have sexual relations with someone that doesn’t breach company policy. you’re sure that if you had made the decision to whore yourself out to whomever you choose, you’d be sneaky about it. as if you had anyone in mind.
well you do, it’s just…you’d rather put your work first.
“so who’s your ‘muse’ for the next hour” your coworker interrupts your thought process.
looking across the table to the bleach blonde boy whom you spent the majority of work and lunch breaks with, you sigh with contempt. if he didn’t have such a knack with a beauty blender, he’d be a model for the agency himself.
“park sunghoon”
the both of you scrunch your faces in displeasure. so damn difficult. sunoo shakes off that icky feeling, which earns him a faint smile from you. working with him is definitely what made this hell hole bearable.
ever since the well performing ad that prick starred in, it’s like his ego skyrocketed by ten fold. gone were the days he was solely booted to being a deodorant model, (in which you and sunoo had joked about having to conceal his dark underarms one day…)
the aversion seemed to go both ways. sunghoon the no-longer-antiperspirant-endorser, also seemed to have the same malcontent. but it was not exclusive to you two, he was just as equally uninterested to all staff.
well, maybe he was a bit mean to you and sunoo, because word got around about the little inside jokes you made.
“as much as i’d love to keep chatting, you have a date with the former ice prince of febreeze for your pits.” the blonde's laugh echoed.
you chuckle off sunoo’s comment, and brace for a painstakingly slow day.
in the midst of the many semi-harmless remarks you’ve made about sunghoon, guess you’ve forgotten to mention the fact that he is your favorite face to work on.
he’s stunning.
unzipping your kit, and setting out the products chosen after reviewing the theme of today's photoshoot, he arrives on the dot. the same icy gaze he seems to never take off lands on you for a few brief moments. you don’t know how long he’s been staring, because your eyes met his once you turned his direction. the manager trailing behind him with a clipboard in hand pulls sunghoon’s attention away, and you continue to set up your workstation. mentally taking note of your supplies:
curling iron, brushes, makeup, check.
gone are the days you actually greet your clients, because he just sits in the chair pulling out his phone. it doesn’t matter anymore because per contract rules, someone of his caliber is not to be talked to unless spoken to. maybe it would’ve been better if he stayed an antiperspirant endorser.
prepping his skin, you let the product sit. he looks bored. guess after a while of doing back to back photoshoots he’d be bored. what a luxury, to have other people do things for you at your hand.
there’s always been a clear divide between staff, and models. obviously. people in cosmetics were no strangers to this dynamic, neither were you. it’s maybe why when someone went from being a D-rate model, to being on the cover of multiple magazines; it puts a sour taste in your mouth.
sure, he was always bound to be on the screen advertising and you’d be working behind the camera. but for that brief moment of time when he was unknown, there was common ground between you two. just an unknown makeup artist and an unknown pretty face, joining the same company at the same time. both at the same starting point.
it sucks, because you could’ve known him, you could’ve been better than him.
there was always a tinge of jealousy.
envy, hurt, and abandonment. could you really feel that way because someone you never really knew? no. consulting yourself, and your thoughts at the time, maybe it’s because you felt you needed someone. feeling like you knew sunghoon is what gave you comfort.
it was stupid, and now you’ve diffused into the rest of the backstage staff. you make remarks about famous beautiful people, and they dehumanize you further as they get more starlight.
working the makeup sponge into his face, you watch him glance up a couple of times. a pang in your chest happens accordingly. trying to shut away the little bits of emotion you feel. you convince yourself it’s borderline creepy, how attached you feel to him yet he probably doesn’t even know you.
you go to set his base with powder, then it’s time to do his eyes. it’s been a while since you’ve had any connection to a person that isn’t just platonic. you think perhaps that’s why the fuzzy feelings you have about him bubble up. a reason you give yourself that doesn’t distract you from your mild distaste. it doesn’t help that you’ve also been going through a major dry spell.
the uncomfortable close nature this job fosters, makes it apparent.
the very charming drunk suitors at the bar are no longer, and your tinder had been long deactivated after seeing a family member pop up. there had been no action in your sex life for far too long, and it definitely got to you.
it’s pathetic. you know.
sunghoon’s manager leaves the room, only you and him remaining there. his eyes glance up at the door, then back to you. shit. the little butterflies in the pit of your stomach start flying around, as the little pitter patter of your heart beat increases. trying to break free of this feeling, you disregard the cardinal rule of not speaking unless spoken to.
“i need to do your eyes now.”
he nods, and closes them, putting his ear buds in. a wave of relief crashes onto you as you start to apply the eyeshadow on his lids. your face so close to his, you can hear his shallow breaths and he can hear yours.
“…sorry i’m so close, i can’t see well.” you mutter as you just try to gain composure.
at time like this is when you question if you’ve always been this easy to fluster.
after a long dragged out time spent working on the first eye, you moved to the second. it felt like time stopped, and you lost all ability to do makeup because it was taking you longer than usual. so many times you had to apologize to him for messing up, once you moved to his right eye he had anticipated another apology.
“sorry this is taking so long—“
“you talk too much.” he interrupts you.
reaching out his hand to pull you closer, in which you assume he was helping you get your job done more efficiently.
his eyes still closed, he reaches unintentionally for your hip, and grabs you onto his leg where you sat.
your body stiffens at the feeling, him seemingly okay with it. is he not saying anything to save himself from embarrassment? you don’t know. because now you are close, you can see better. so it did help, and you stay there, just continuing to do his makeup.
you subtlety shift back to see his face entirely, and feel the friction of his knee against your core.
this isn’t fucking happening.
shifting your weight forward again, feeling the sensation of your clothed cunt moving against his thigh you try to get this job done quickly and soon. it has appeared your lack of action has made quite you sensitive.
hoping to hell, and praying to god he doesn’t notice the growing desire bubbling within you, your shaky hand takes the makeup brush. a craft you’ve perfected, and you're finding it hard to keep your thoughts straight as you apply the base layer of his eyeshadow. as you take your time, you hear his shallow breaths turn into grunts of displeasure and impatience.
something that unintentionally turns you on.
holding your breath, you sigh. if he had noticed the discomfort brewing in your pants, you’d imagine the shock on his face. you anticipate what he’d do if he found out. something a little too risky to test.
sunghoon shifts in his seat, causing his knee to rub against your throbbing heat yet again. oh, it feels too good. can’t help but wonder how the mess you must’ve made.
in your head you’ve already convinced yourself that he has no clue what he is doing. you feel a little perverted, but it does ease your neglected cunt. you can only assume he has no idea the things he’s doing to you because his eyes are closed and his earbuds are in. you continue to try and do your job with a faulty hand.
or maybe he knows. the thought does cross your mind, how can it not? does this add to how utterly attractive you find him? yes. a lot actually.
then he adjusts himself again, causing his leg to bump against your sensitive heat.
oh.
this action earns a hushed moan from your throat, in which you are quick to cover your mouth. he doesn’t look up, and thank god. you're almost finished with his makeup, and so ready to go home after this.
your pussy twitches. it must be dripping right now, fuck.
drawing back your attention, you just have to clean up the look, add a couple of embellishments and you’re done. you can tell he’s still bored. that stupid feeling all your clients have when you do their makeup. you feel a weird sense of anger, and frustration at him. in your head keeping the villainized persona of him is easier, so you can just let go of this acquaintance you grew an attachment to. it also helps distract your mind from the wetness pooling. you do ponder… would he be so bored if you had mentioned how soaked your panties were?
as you are just about to finish up, you smudge it.
“fuck.” you say, as you look at the mistake.
“what’s wrong?” sunghoon mutters while opening his eyes. pausing ever so slightly, he takes a look at your face. the flushed color of your cheeks apparent. he doesn’t take note, at least he doesn’t make you aware that it is visible to him. instead he complains, obviously, and you instruct him to shut his eyes so you can end whatever hell of a wet dream this is.
and so you can forget how much this is turning you on.
as you correct your mistake, he starts to bounce his leg in a habit of boredom. you jolt and there is no way he’s not noticing this; wondering if he has caught on, or if he truly is as stoic as he seems.
you however, can’t make sense of it. nor is your endorphin filled brain actually paying attention to anything other than your pleasure.
if you were ever to recount this, which you know you won’t, you’d most definitely be an unreliable narrator.
your hips uncontrollably press into his thigh, warmth concentrates on the weak delicate parts of you and silently, you let the feeling of your climax engulf your lower body. writhing, the slight tinge of dizzy euphoria was fleeting, because you can’t believe you fucking got off.
it’s l surprising how good it felt, how your wet walls must’ve convulsed so deliciously around nothing. you can’t believe it was that good. embarrassment clouds your brain when you realize how bad you needed that.
you wonder if he notices your heavy breaths, if he’ll see the rise and fall of your chest. you wonder slightly… what he’d do if he had relized you came just now.
the thought is too hot for you to handle.
interrupting your silence, you hear the metal clank of the door knob and you come to your feet quickly. feeling the blood rush back to your head, you watch sunghoon’s manager walk in.
“i’ve finished.” you mumbled. you don’t know who you’re saying it to, the manager, sunghoon; or if you're simply just stating what you did all over your panties.
the man before you stands from the chair, adjusting his clothes, dusting off his lap. you can’t help but think that he knows, and he’s going to get you fired. he can’t, this job is quite literally your livelihood. he looks back to you, heading out the door, his eyes meeting yours. the brief flicker of his gaze on your reddened cheeks. of course he has the last word in a tone you can’t decipher.
“i can see that.”
the fluorescent lights of the store are migraine inducing. walking through the aisles searching for things to restock your hygiene products.
it’s been a couple of days, and the incident is still fresh your mind. you’d at least hope that by now it’d fade into the back of your head, but it just won’t. the loud generic pop playing over the speakers as you shop does nothing to drown your thoughts. and even when you’re home no amount of dissociating helps either.
but what the hell can you do?
on top of that, you’re still confused if sunghoon knew what happened.
there’s no way in hell he didn’t.
and like the world is plotting against you, one slight turn to the right you are greeted with the outdated deodorant ad of him. the bright lights the store had pointed to the display were obnoxious.
if he knew, he would’ve snitched. a pit in your stomach started to grow.
from that moment since you’ve been counting down the days, wondering when you’ll get the dreaded call into work. it’s torture, you can’t stand it. you’ve contemplated, maybe telling someone would lessen the weight. who would you tell? your therapist? sunoo? absolutely not.
moreover, how do you go about telling someone how much you enjoyed that?
your phone dings, an email. you hold the screen to you face, surprised at the contents.
being ordered to the company on your day off was something you didn’t expect, and if you were to be summoned to the building it should’ve been a pink slip. it was neither, instead you were being called to cover for someone last minute.
walking through the hallways of the establishment, it was empty. who could’ve been here on a day like this, you wouldn’t know, especially at this hour. the lights were only on in a couple of sections, many of the studio doors being locked. you assumed this job would probably be a quick one, whatever it might be.
2415, the number of the studio.
makeup kit in hand as you opened the door, you look up. the last person you wanted to see on the other side of it, sunghoon.
the door shuts behind your back, there’s no manager in sight, or crew, or anyone else. his eyes meeting yours, you swallow thickly. the dryness of your throat distracts you. is it hot in here?
his eyes meet yours in a trance. the corner of his mouth raises. this isn’t about makeup, or a photoshoot is it?
“you like me.” he says.
“huh?”
do you? you suppose... his expression is smug, irritating even.
he trails on, looking you up and down. you seem like someone who’s down for a good time. well, you’re someone who had a good time… one that very well could cost you your job. sunghoon knows that.
he feels the little pride in his chest rise, knowing he can easily persuade you. to do something fun, something different.
“do you wanna keep your job?”
sunghoon has a lot of things, money, noteriety, and looks.
he doesn’t have you.
honestly, who wouldn’t want the pretty little makeup artist who fell apart on his lap? yeah he knew. of course he fucking noticed. in that moment when you had lost yourself so innocently on his leg he couldn’t help but wonder just how touch starved you might’ve been. to get off simply at him shaking his leg? feeling your needy little pussy rub against against him? it was far too hot for him not to enjoy…
then again, he thinks back to why he singles you out of the dozen. he’s always sort of seen you as… competent, hard working, and unexpectedly…he found you quite interesting.
did the fact you were both briefed for your jobs at the same time help? maybe, and maybe if it weren’t for the stupid work policy he’d have fucked you already. while he wasn't exactly opposed to breaking the rules… he knew you were adamant about keeping your job.
did he practically hang the job above your head? yes, cause he could very well report you if he wanted. there’s no fun in that.
sunghoon’s hum rings in the empty studio. your nerves are still present. did you hear him correctly?
“i’m sorry are you—-“
he cuts you off and nods. how long would this take you to process? he’s fucking blackmailing you.
you stand there, still wondering what this could even entail. he’s made it clear, that’s not his intention to get you fired yet, but what is? your stomach forms a pit at the idea what he’ll make you do. you figure… maybe this is a late revenge for the many times you’ve made snarky comments about him, and you should’ve just let go of that in the past. you think how he’ll now commend you for your present day behavior towards him still, cause yes you still find the deodorant model jokes funny. now paired with the fact you know, that he knew you got off on his knee, there was nothing redeemable about your situation.
he steps forward,closing the space between the two of you. his hand grabbing at your chin, your pretty little face between his thumb and index finger. he knows youre not one to put your job on the line to fuck a coworker, even if your so utterly desperate.
so he’s not going to, not yet at least.
his hand releases from your small face, and he looks at you in your taut little shirt. he wonders if you know how enticing you look. do you know what you do to him? walking around the building looking like that all day. even if you have said some remarks about him, at least you're talking about him. that just clarifies that you think of him at the very least.
“i don’t want to get either of us fired.” is what he claims, but he will hang the job over your head if you don’t comply.
“but, i think you’re in a position that can’t say no to some fun.”
god, he must know how desperate you were. how touch starved you must’ve been for something real. it makes your head spin at the minor excitement that he just might do something.
he smirks at your compliance. “i want to get you off.”
clearing the table where you’d usually put your makeup kit, he pushes up against the counter kissing you in a ferocious manner. his lips so plump, it sends your brain into a daze.
this is physical relations. this will get you fired.
pushing his chest away from yours, he wipes the corners of his mouth. “we were just getting started. you chicken out or something?” he lets out an amused laugh rumble from his stomach. it’s something that makes you remember just how demanding he actually is.
“are you stupid? this is physical relations park!”
“if this goes any further we’ll both get fired.” the sound of the fold up chair scooting back as he sits down takes you away into thought.
you are most certainly sure that he does not give two shits about you right now, and that in the moment he really is trying to get you fired. why you felt his moral compass was that off center, it’s cause you’ve known him for long enough. that being said, the ways you’ve known him was purely how he treated you.
“relax, you didn’t think i was actually going to fuck you?”
that hurt, hurt like hell. it deflated the ego you were slowly starting to build, admittedly because you knew it would take a lot for sunghoon to actually throw his job away just for this. it did make you wonder why out of all people he chose you, but that was shut down quick when he just admitted he wasn’t gonna do anything.
“i recall that i said i wanted to get you off.” the stupid look on his face did nothing to diminish your want for his lips on your own.
sunghoon can see the curiosity, the sweet little pout on your face makes him all the happier to walk you through this. picking up your makeup bag from the floor, he rummaged through the pockets. makeup, sponges— and oh, what’s this?
as you sit on the table, it’s killing you that he’s not just doing as he said he would. does he get off on this? just the sheer fact that he might be making you break the rules? sunghoon is absolutely the type to. he grabs something from the bag in which you don’t catch in it’s entirety before he parts your legs.
“you can finger yourself right? no need for me to tell you how to do that.” his raspy voice bellows.
you nod, so utterly needy. your fingers slip under the fabric of your bottoms. he drinks in the sight as you ever so carefully rub the little bundle of nerves between your fingers. knowing that if you went any faster, this will be a quick session, so you take your time, just feeling how his eyes follow the clothed movement of your hands.
impatient, he takes them off for you. your bottoms. the clothe slides down your legs onto the floor, and god, you look tight. he slightly raises his shoulders, if you both weren’t in the company building right now he’d take you. alas he has to remind himself to hold back that urge. your glistening pussy in all its glory, just as pretty as sunghoon had imagined. it’s just as wet as he thought it would get.
just the way it tightens around nothing has his clothes dick feel the strain in his pants.
“bet your needy hole wishes it could feel this huh?” he rasps while palming over the very visible bulge.
he sits back in the chair, picking up the item and tossing it on the table beside you.
a curling wand.
“w-what do you want me to do with this?” the slight dread, and anticipation you had at his next few words made you just slightly whimper.
the action earns you a pleasured look on his face, and spreads his legs as if to show to you that this is indeed also getting him off.
“don’t be dumb, i want you to stick it in.”
your jaw slightly hangs open, that? that curling wand? you don’t think you’ve ever experienced something of that size, or girth. is he crazy?
the look of hesitation on your face confirms to him that you're unsure, but with a little encouragement he knows you’ll be a good girl.
“can’t take this huh?” he muttered, “that’s a shame.”
picking up the wand then running his tongue along the cold metal, before waving it back to your face.
“lube it up then babe.” his fanged smile submitting you so easily.
the phallic shape of the hair tool takes you back to when you’d fantasize about sticking other things up there to satisfy your needs. thank god you found out what vibratiors were before you got too desperate. although it would seem you’ve regressed, or simply just didn’t think about that in the moment.
spitting on it, and lathering the slick evenly across the wand you’re fucking terrified to say the least.
tou feel that must make sunghoon feel some sick pleasure derived front that.
angling it against your entrance you can already feel the tip being too girthy, like it’ll split you open.
sunghoon stands from his chair seeing your hesitance, and a wad of spit lands on the wand.
“if y’can’t get this in don’t know how you’ll be able to take me.”
oh he’s bluffing, but wait so he’ll fuck you eventually?
“wait so you’re going to—“
“not yet.” he raises his voice before landing back on the chair with his legs spread. “not in the company building no.”
unzipping and undoing the button on his pants, he folds over the sides so you can just barely see the dick print peaking through. your mouth almost salivates at the sight, and that makes sunghoon all the more eager to see your tiny cunt take that fucking hair curler. adjusting his posture he rolls down the elastic of his briefs to reveal that fucking christ—
he wasn’t lying.
watching you take in the sight of his cock, he slightly strokes it, making you eager for his touch and your own pleasure.
“gonna sit and stare? or you gonna fuck your pussy?”
silenced at his words, you push the tool into your depths, and sunghoon audibly moans as he watches every inch get sucked into you. he can only imagine what it would be like if that was him, and the little jolts of pain you displayed would be felt around his dick if he had just took you right then and there.
the stretch is insane, on one hand you can feel the bruises that will form within you, on the other hand you can feel how it hits the delicious spots of your inner walls. oh and the faces he makes as you take this monstrous size into you, it makes you imagine what his will feel like when he’s in balls deep, and what his face will look like.
the oh so pretty face you loved working on, and how it would contort into the same gorgeous expressions. watching his hands grip at his girth as you adjust to the size of the wand, you draw it out, then slam it back into yourself.
“fuck!”
you exclaim as your hand grips at the handle, starting to rhythmically thrust it in and out of your hole. it excites sunghoon all the more.
“looks like you still know how to please yourself huh?” his chest flattens as his hand moves faster, trying to match the same pace as you. it’s unbelievable how wet you’re getting. with each sloppy movement he can hear your melodic voice echo slightly in the room. each thrust drawing out a louder sound.
your back pressed up against the wall, your other hands goes to toy with your aching clit, causing a wave of sensations through your core. biting back a moan you know that would be too loud, the male across you pumps his dick even faster. it’s long, hard, so veiny and pretty. the reddened head of his tip oozing with precum, and his chest rising and falling.
he isn’t ashamed to show how much this does for him, he’s not the type. although, something about being able to see you clench makes him want to feel it. it makes him curse at himself for not just fucking you instead of acting none the wiser while you got off on his thigh. is this really how your cunt looks when taking cock? well, the substitute of one.
you’re just walking around freely with that? he’s been holding off for that?
his hands started to not feel enough, he needed a part of you to be on him so he could feel the relief of just having you to make it feel better. standing up, his erect member in hand, he holds it close to you.
“spit on it.” he almost begs.
who are you to say no?
a glob of your saliva drips onto his veiny need, and he feels it dribble down. still close to you, now near the sight that was merely a few inches away, he can really see how your hole just sucks in the wand. it’s dangerous how much he wants it.
taking the wand away from your hold, he helps you himself, fucking into you faster.
your body moves up with every shove, and he watches as you hold yourself up. the sight of your tits bouncing up and down, and the expressions he draws out make his dick twitch harder, his free hand stroking like his life depended on it.
“bet you take cock so good,” he hums before taking his free hand convered with precum placing it on the top of your stomach. as he impales your guts with the tool, the harmonious sounds from your mouth grow louder, your jaw hanging agape. he can feel how it bulges in your stomach, how you're slowly falling apart for him.
“sunghoon—“ you moan out feeling the pressure be too much, but it also feels too good to make it stop.
the sounds being elicited from your gooey and viscous slick are pornographic. he doesn’t think he’s seen anything quite as good, quite as real.
“look at how much there is, must feel so good huh?” he asks tauntingly.
“fuck, can’t imagine what it must feel like having your pussy wrapped around my dick like that.”
his dirty, dirty words almost make you wetter, if that’s even possible. still rubbing your clit, another wad of his spit lands there, his nod encouraging you to keep going.
his dick twitches at the sight, wanting to get you off faster so he can see what it must look like when you cum. his grip on the handle of the tool so strong, you can see the veins of his hand. fucking into you deeper and faster, all the sensations feel too much. the way it throbs for him, the way you’ve been feeling your peak build from the start, the never ending pleasure. this time it’s not as fleeting, this time your not fucking yourself against his thigh. this time he’s fucking you.
your cunt clenches so hardly around the tool, a familiar heat bubbling to the surface. this time, just stronger, and harder than anything you think you’ve ever experienced.
“sunghoon— i” your words are cut off as he pushes in you harder, and presses your stomach.
“yeah? let me see how your pretty little hole tightens all for me.” he almost growls hungrily.
you nod aggressively, feeling him so eager to get you off. he really wasn’t lying.
with another plunge into your swelling walls, you feel it. the waves of release engulf your whole core. you can feel it through your stomach, the delicate bundle of nerves, and in your vagina. you can feel the slick coat the tool more as you still try to come down from the high.
trying to slide out the curling wand you quickly urge him not to.
“fuck i’m still cumming.” you breathlessly exclaim, your whole body shaking from pleasure.
as sunghoon watched he bathes in how filthy you’ve made that metal rod, how much of that was only you. taking his neglected dick in hand, he hovers over the mess to quickly get himself off.
“what are you—“
he shuts you up, and pumps harder on his own cock, urging you to take some of that mess and lather it against his ache.
he’s so lewd, so open about it to you. there no shyness in sight, and he so wants to use the means that you can provide. it’s so hot, you can’t fathom how you’d ever be into anything like this. looking up at him, his face is desperate for relief, and you coat his dick with the slick you drenched the curling rod with.
you can feel how hot and heavy it is, the feeling of your supple fingertips on his length makes his body recoil from sensitivity. he wants to cum so fucking bad.
he doesn’t know when was the last time he was this eager to get off, maybe when he was a teenager he felt like this. it just seems you’re too intoxicating for him to handle. the texture of all your juices on his length make it hard for him to not bust so quickly, but he has to.
“shit, feels too good.” his voice rings as you just watch.
his thumb swirls at his sticky tip, and you’ve never wanted to put something in your mouth as much as you did now.
you hover over his cock, and lick your lips.
“hey— what the hell?!” sunghoon asks as you take it in your mouth. he’s immediately distracted from the bliss, and he feeling his fists and body clench at the sensation.
“shit, we’re breaking the rules right now—“
he didn’t think you’d really break.
you cut him off as the pop sound of your mouth makes his brain go fuzzy. “let me take it, i wanna taste you.” your saliva all stringy on his length makes it impossible to say no.
your tongue languidly laps at his dick, and you can barely take all of it in your mouth. the rest of the length being pumped by your hands. feeling how smooth he is, how he tastes, it’s so weird. so good. you want to revel in how great his cock is, massaging his neglected balls.
this earns a thrust into your mouth, and he can’t stand this any longer.
“baby, stay like that.” he moans while pumping the base of his cock into your mouth.
your tongue licks up the slit of his hard length, and swirls the tip. tasting his needy sap on your tastebuds, and watching his hips thrust forward. he’s dancing in the edge, trying to drag out the euphoric feeling.
“you’re so close.” your voice breathes out tiredly, just watching him in awe.
when he does, he’s loud. it’s so attractive, that you don’t mind how the hot white ropes spill onto your shirt. oh he came, a lot. there’s too much, so much.
pure bliss, his face contorts.
as he comes down, you can’t help but know that-
you both are now at a higher chance of losing your jobs.
216 notes · View notes
bluastro-yellow · 11 months ago
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do you see what I mean
do you think Harry wears those pants to also hide his chicken legs
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nightlyrequiem · 1 month ago
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Scream
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A new serial killer has been terrorizing the streets of Las Almas. You have an... interesting encounter with her one night while working your first shift at the morgue.
New Part Every Thursday
Masterlist AO3
A/N- I wanted to be a medical examiner when I was twelve. That's not something in my future anymore sadly. Also, no matter how often I write smut I feel goofy doing it, but I think this turned out okay.
Tags/Warnings: Slasher Valeria, Violence, Blood, WLW, Dubcon, FINGERING, Smut, Explicit Sexual Content
There's been another murder. A man found in his car with his throat sliced open. You're starting to wonder if Las Almas was the right town to move to. The fall air is only slightly cooler than the summer air but not enough to count. It's mid-October yet you're still wearing shorts and a tank top. You stand among other bystanders as police and coroners investigate the crime scene. The body was moved a while ago. At first everyone had assumed the murders were related to the ever-growing cartel located right in the town but a video on a victim's phone showed a glimpse of a figure in a white mask. Eyes drooping, mouth elongated into a soundless scream, and realised this was something else entirely.
A man in an official looking suit strides up to the crowd standing at the police tape.
"Go home." He says sternly. "This is real life, not one of those little perverse true crime podcasts." He scolds. The group slowly dissipates. Nobody feeling truly guilty for gawking. You reluctantly turn away and leave as well. Not wanting to be the only person still there. You head back home. You should get some rest anyway. You start your first shift at the morgue tonight. 
You groan irritably as your phone alarm blares right beside your ear. Shrill and annoying. You make quick work of turning it off. For a few minutes you lay there on your mattress - you don't have a bedframe yet - and fight back frustration. You can't believe this is what you have to do every day. You're just so tired. You can't fathom having to do this for the next forty-fifty years of your life. Despite the evil voice in your head telling you not to get up, you do. You throw on a simple shirt and pants combo. It doesn't matter because you'll have to suit up anyway. You debate putting on makeup as well but you're so tired and the only people around to see you will be your mentor and a corpse. Those dark circles under your eyes will fit right in.
The drive to the morgue is short. The streets of Las Almas are deserted at night. Dim yellow streetlights adding to the eerie atmosphere. Of course nobody wants to be out at night here. There's an operating cartel and a serial killer on the loose. Your eyes drift to your rear mirror. Just to make sure no ghastly figures are lurking about in your backseat. You park and get out. Grabbing your bag and walking inside. The bright fluorescent lights buzz and threaten to give you a headache and you swallow down the dread at having to spend nine hours here. You didn't take all those medical classes just to give up. Down in the basement your mentor is already suited up. Setting up the tray of tools. He turns and smiles at you, eyes crinkling at the corners. He's an older man. Short and going gray.
"Glad to see you." He greets. "Your scrubs are in that locker over there, get suited up and come join me and I'll go over the basics."
You struggled a bit with putting on the apron and gloves but finally got the hang of it. You walk over to him and do your best to listen as he goes over the tools and their uses. Scalpel, bone saw, enterotome, rib shears. You already know all about them, but it doesn't hurt to get a refresher. It's been a few years since you were in school.
"Okay. Let's go get the body." The man nods. He leads you to the back and you shiver at the drop in temperature. You don't care for it, although you know it's necessary to keep the bodies fresh. The more decayed it is, the harder and more dangerous for you it is to do an autopsy. He shows you how to take the body out from the columbarium and wheels him back to the examining room.
The man's eyes are still open. His lifeless stare creeps you out a bit.
"What do we do first?" Your mentor asks. Staring at you expectantly. You weren't expecting him to ask and you hesitate. Mind blanking.
"Um... we- we drain him." You answer.
"No, we note down any external marks and wounds." He corrects. You mentally facepalm. Of course. That's the obvious answer. You blame it on the dissociative state you're in.
"Right. Sorry." You say.
"It's alright." He says kindly, handing you a notebook and pen.
You walk up to the cadaver and realise just how surreal this is. This man was a person. A son, a child at one point. He had a favourite food, colour. None of that matters anymore.
"I write down his name right?" You ask. Your mentor nods. you shakily scratch down his name. You look him over. There's a scratch on his right wrist. There's a deep, obvious gash along his throat. You inspect the jagged edges of his skin. "... I think this was made with a hunting knife?" You guess. Looking to your mentor. He approaches and inspects him too. Nodding in agreement. 
"Correct, anything else?"
You stare at the cadaver. What else are you supposed to look at? Right, his nails. You lift up his big hands gingerly and check under his nails. No visible evidence of skin or blood. You jot down your findings.
One-inch-long shallow scratch, right wrist. Three-inch-long gash along throat, jagged edges, suggests it was done with hunting knife. No other visible external injuries.
You stare at the body and at your notes. Maybe you should check him once more.
"I need to use the washroom." Your mentor mumbles, degloving. He walks out of the room, leaving you alone in this cold, unfamiliar place with a body. You stand around awkwardly for a few moments, your only company being the dead man. You feel suffocated by the weight of the future. What if you never get the hang of this? What if you can't do it? You take a few seconds to breathe. You got your bachelor's degree. You got hired at the morgue. You remind yourself you felt overwhelmed and scared of driving at first too, and now you can do it just fine. If you can navigate college, you can navigate a corpse.
You check him over one more time to see if you were accurate. As you're setting his hand down you stop and look closer. A very short, fine black thread is caught under his thumbnail. You jot it down and carefully pull it out, holding it up to your face. Up close you see it's not thread but a strand of hair. you set it down on the counter in a tray to be looked at later. You shamble closer and stare at him uncertainly. Do you cut him open now or is there something you're forgetting? You look up. Your mentor still hasn't returned. You'll wait before you do anything. The last thing you want to do is mess up an autopsy.
Twenty minutes later he still hasn't returned. You frown and debate with yourself. He could be unwell, and you'd feel awkward about disturbing him while he's on the toilet, but you need to learn, and you can't proceed without him to guide you. You walk out of the room and down the hall. Doors are closed along the walls. The lights out in those rooms. It's quiet. Where are the bathrooms again? You turn down another hallway. Peering down it. You walk towards an opening. Not the bathrooms. Instead, there are tables lined up with cover sheets. All are barren except for one. If a body isn't being examined, it needs to be put away. You put aside your search for your mentor and begin to wheel the body to the body storage area. Your skin prickles into goosebumps. The body's feet are the only part sticking out from under the blanket. It still has shoes on. You stop. You're pretty sure all cadavers are to be stripped of their clothing once they arrive. You'll do that at the columbarium.
You leave him in there and hurry back to the examining room to retrieve fabric sheers. You gasp as something dark darts across the hall.
"Hello?" You call instinctively, then mentally facepalm. What is wrong with you? It's nothing, you decide. Because you aren't sure what you'd do if it was something. You feel uneasy at the silence and your mentor still being gone but you push those fears aside. Morgues hold dead people, of course you're wary. It's no different to a hospital though, both are medical buildings. One's for the living, the other for the dead.
Back in the storage room you approach the body. You grab ahold of the edge of the sheet and pull it off, freezing in place. Your hands tremble and you drop the black plastic sheet. It flutters to the ground. Dark red blooms through his white scrubs on his chest. A clean wound entering and exiting his body. Your mentor stares at the ceiling unblinkingly. Your brain takes a few seconds to comprehend what you're seeing. Your mentor is dead, and he was murdered. You whip around to face the doorway. The hallway is brightly lit. What's the likelihood of his killer still being in the building? Pretty fucking high. The buzzing of the lights and the otherwise silence feels threatening. You grip the fabric shears tightly. Too afraid to move. You picture the murderer standing just beside the door frame, knife poised, waiting to plunge it into your heart.
The body can lose fourteen percent of its blood without much consequence. Fifteen to thirty percent and you risk passing out - although you know that's much lower for you because you cut open your foot one time and almost passed out after losing maybe five percent at most. Forty percent and you die. It depends where your cut or stabbed too. The body has twenty arteries. Any of those get punctured and you'll be dead within five minutes.
You creep forward. Shears raised in defense. You psyche yourself up to look around the corner. Imagining the tip of a wicked blade sinking into your eye socket. Popping that fragile ball of jelly. You look quickly. Seeing an empty hall on both sides. You need to get back to the examining room to get your phone. Call the police. Barricade yourself in the room until they arrive. Your feet softly hit the clean linoleum floors with every step. You make it to the examining room without issue. You quickly rush to your locker and root through your bag for your phone. a sob wells up in your throat, it's not there. You know for certain you put it there.
People are sometimes able to feel when someone else enters a room before seeing them. A shift in the air, a tingle in the spine. Your feel sick with fear. You don't want to turn around, but you don't want to keep your back to the open door. Slowly you turn. In the doorway stands the murderer. Adequately called Ghostface by the public. They're all dressed up. White mask, black hood and tattered robe and all. You two stare at each other for what feels like forever.
"Forget your phone?" Their voice is muffled and gravely and mocking. Almost electronic sounding, like someone talking through a walkie talkie. You watch in horror as they hold out your phone, dropping it to the ground. They raise one foot and stomp down with their heel, shattering the screen and your hopes of getting out of here. "Aren't you pretty." They walk forward and shut the door. Reaching behind themselves to lock it. Your eyes dart towards the tool table. Distressed to find it cleared. All you have are the fabric shears.
You back up, raising them slightly. A show of aggression. Not a good one, but one nonetheless. The figure tilts their head at you.
"What do you think you'll be able to do with those?"
"... Kill you." You rasp. Ghostface just chuckles. "I haven't seen your face, I won't tell the cops anything, please don't kill me." Your voice breaks at the end. Ghostface observes you silently. Looking like the grim reaper. You watch on in confusion as they raise a gloved hand slowly and grip the edge of their mask. Lifting it to reveal the face beneath. A woman in her thirties. Dark brows and eyes that stare right through you. 
"Now you have." She murmurs. Sounding far less robotic. She pulls the mask back over her face. "But I don't think I want to kill you just yet."
She rushes at you, throwing the table to the side. You scream and raise your hands to protect your face. The woman grabs you by the shoulders and roughly throws you to the floor, winding you. You gasp and try to crawl away, shears clutched uselessly in your hand. She throws herself on top of you. Straddling your lower back and pressing your pelvis into the hard floor uncomfortably. One gloved hand wraps around the front of your throat and pulls your head back, making it harder to breath. Your back and neck arching in the process.
"Poor thing, all alone." Valeria coos. Index finger rubbing your throat mockingly. "These scrubs are so unflattering."
The sound of tearing makes you cringe. "What are you doing?" You ask shakily. She doesn't answer as she cuts away at your scrubs. Pulling the torn fabric to the side. Her fingers trace along your ribs and waist, making you shiver.
"You're so pretty." She mutters to herself. 
She violently tugs down your sweats, exposing your ass to the cool air. Your heart flutters and you flinch. You don't feel as afraid as you should and that alone frightens you. Her palm smooths over your cheeks. Massaging the skin. You breathe heavily, feeling like you're going to pass out. Her hand dips between your cheeks. Prodding along your clothed asshole and cunt. You wore light coloured underwear and know she can see the damp spot beginning to form. Not that it matters, because you can feel the cotton sticking to your wet folds, moulding to their shape. She hums in interest.
"... You're already wet?" She comments. Stroking you gently. "Don't tell me you get off on this." 
Your face warms with embarrassment. "I'm not... It's not... get the hell off of me!" It's not death that arouses you. You aren't into dying, or corpses. You don't know why being pinned to the cold floor by a murderer is making your clit throb.
She doesn't get off of you. Instead, she roughly pushes your head down. Your cheek presses against the ground.
"Shut the fuck up." She demands. Rubbing her hand through your folds, soaking your panties even more. She cuts away at your underwear without a care. The air makes contact with your slick unpleasantly. Chilling your weeping core. A leather clad finger prods at your entrance and to your shame you don't protest. Prioritizing your desire to be filled more than the need to flee and call for help. Her finger slips in. The unfamiliar texture of the leather makes you squirm as your spongy walls pull it deeper. She adds another finger, curling them upwards and hitting that sweet spot inside of you.
You tense and gasp. Jerking upwards at the feeling. She sets a fast pace. Pumping her fingers into you with an intensity. Your pussy practically sings her praises as it squelches. You press your face into the floor to hide your shame. Valeria isn't having any of that. She grabs ahold of your hair and yanks your head back.
"You're enjoying this." She taunts. "Sick little freak."
You clench around her fingers. "No I'm - not." You whimper. She gives you a hard thrust in response, pushing a loud whine from the back of your throat.
"You're dripping all over my hand." Valeria retorts, moving her other hand from the back of your head to the nape of your neck.
As if to punish you for your insolence, she presses down and roughly pumps her fingers into you. Droplets of your slick hitting the floor. You feel like a monster for even slightly enjoying this and you do your best to stave off the impending orgasm quickly approaching. It's one thing to enjoy what's happening - it's another to get off on it. Valeria is relentless. Leaning over you and breathing in your ear. You whine and clench around her fingers. Toes curling in your shoes.
"Fuck." You mutter with defeat. You came on a murderer's fingers.
The woman slowly pulls her fingers out, gathering up your wetness. She holds it out in front of your face and spreads her fingers. Translucent strings connecting them, evidence of your debauchery.
"Open your mouth." She murmurs. "C'mon, sweet thing, open your mouth." She forces her fingers between your lips. The taste of blood, leather, and your own juices hit your tongue. You gag as she shoves them deeper into your mouth. When she finally pulls them away, she gives your cheek a quick tap and stands, leaving you on the floor in a puddle of your own release.
"Are you going to kill me?" You whisper.
"Maybe." She hums. "If you aren't useful." 
Now that the high is wearing off your left with a cavernous pit in your stomach. Your mentor was murdered, and you happily let the killer finger you. "What? How can I be useful?"
She scoffs. "You're a medical examiner are you not?" She replies impatiently, she leans against the counter and lifts her mask again.
She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a box of cigarettes and lights one.
"You're not supposed to smoke down here." You mutter.
"I don't care." She says, lighting one and putting it to her hips. "You're going to tamper with the bodies, or lie about how they died, or whatever it is you do."
You close your eyes. "That's... that's so unethical, I can't do that."
She grins at you. "Cumming around a murderer's hand - in a morgue no less - is pretty unethical."
She approaches and squats down, grabbing your chin and making you face her.
"If you don't want me to fucking gut you," She murmurs softly. "then you'll do what I say."
You don't want that. You're of the opinion that your insides belong inside of you. "Okay." You say weakly. You don't have much of a choice. 
"Good girl." Valeria hums. she stands and walks towards the doorway, pausing to look at you over her shoulder. "I'll be seeing you again very soon."
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